#any other bi or pan friends with me here?

[callmelola111]

K.O. ♡ e.w. oneshot

 ✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   bull believer- wednesday

synopsis: as hours, minutes, and seconds count down till the new year, secrets are revealed and trust is broken. who knew the downfall of your life could be so freeing—and that a total stranger would be the one to catch you.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.8k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is in a toxic relationship with a man (sexuality isn’t mentioned in huge detail so feel free to hc however you like—they could be bi, pan or just a lesbian with very real comp het), coming out scene (refers to self as “gay”), heavy swearing, descriptions of intense violence + gore, cheating (bf on reader), underage drinking + use of marjuana (18), reader is called a slur (dyke)

a/n: hi hellooo, long time no see! **first, a quick disclaimer: this isn't realistic, there is a complete lack of morals and an unethical/dangerous amount of violence that i wouldn't condone irl. but alas this is fan fiction based off a M rated game whose whole basis is violence, sooo plz keep that in mind when reading.** anywaysss... i’ve been obsessed with this song for months now and it sparked a little oneshot idea so here it is. not exactly my usual stuff, more of a passion project as i process my hatred for men as a lesbian who used to date them. soooo i guess this one goes out to my small town comp het girlies who love ellie williams. thanks for all the support!! ♡~ lola

In the south it never really felt like a true winter. All the holidays that came along with it never felt real either. Christmas was dull and New Years was even worse. After spending the last 18 years of your life in a small hick town, it felt like no use to wish for some “better future”. You were damned from the start. Sure it was a new year, but it was the same old shit and you knew nothing was gonna change until you got out of this hell hole.

Just 6 more months of pretending, you’d tell yourself. 6 more months of bending over backwards to please your overbearing parents. 6 more months of mediocre sex with your shitty boyfriend that you weren’t even sure you liked. 6 more months of artificial conversations with your estranged friend group from middle school who claim to “not get you” anymore. But at this point, as every little thing ate away at you, you weren’t sure if you could keep up your act for much longer. Especially tonight, where you’d be faced with the challenge of appeasing all 3. 

December 31st, 9:00pm:

Adorned in a matching set of mint green pjs you sat patiently on your bed waiting for the go-ahead. Like clockwork, your parents gave a small knock and pushed open your door from its cracked position. It always annoyed you how they knocked, pretending to respect your privacy while simultaneously enforcing a “no closed doors” rule. You thought at 18 they would’ve let it go, but no. 

“Well hun, me and your mother are heading out now. We don’t expect to be back till the morning… Ya know, just to be safe while taking part in all the ‘festivities’.” Your dad chuckled, throwing up some air quotes. Your mom stood deadpan waiting for him to wrap up his little bit before butting in.

“No plans for the evening, right?” She phrased her words like a question but you knew this was just her way of subtleing enforcing the stupid rules you’ve followed your whole life.

“Of course not momma. Probably just gonna watch Gilmore Girls reruns and then go to sleep before any fireworks start up.” You gestured to your pjs but your perfectly made bed said otherwise. See, you knew this little routine like the back of your hand. You knew just what to do and just what to say in order to lure your parents into a false sense of security. While they stood in the frame of your door wishing you a goodnight, your party clothes hung on the other side of it, just out of their view.

December 31st, 9:30pm:

A loud honking blared from just outside your bedroom window. You ushered the sheer curtains open and glared out at the little sedan sputtering in your driveway. Your hands ran down your face followed by a big sigh. It’s not like you didn’t know your boyfriend Jax was coming to pick you up for the new years party that night, you had planned it just days before. But unbeknownst to him, the only reason you reached out was because you didn’t have a ride and tonight was one of the few times your parents wouldn’t be around to police curfew. 

You climbed into the passenger seat already cringing at the unidentifiable smell and litters of trash covering the floor. Forcing a smile to your face you greet the grimey boy sitting at the wheel with a wave.

“Come onnnn, not even a kiss? You must be real happy to see me, huh?” You grit your teeth, squeeze both eye’s shut, and lean in for a peck to appease his complaints. 

“Of course I’m happy to see you babe.” This was a lie. Something you had become quite good at these past few years, even lying to yourself at times. The rest of the car ride was silent, leaving you to ponder this drudgery of a relationship. You weren’t quite sure when things shifted or if there was ever an attraction at all, but after a year together and college approaching you just decided to ride it out until the inevitable. And part of you recognized the same in him, so there was never any guilt about it. 

December 31st, 9:45pm:

Alcohol was the first thing on your mind as soon as the car went into park. The door to the house was propped wide open, inviting in teens of the small town. Some top 10 hit boomed from a speaker nested in the main living area, not really your style—at least not sober. You scavenged the kitchen for a clean solo cup to designate as your own and began the journey to drunkenness. Jax followed in suit with a couple bottles of beer. The harsh burn in your throat lingered but the alcohol's effect was already beginning to take off the edge that was your life.

You attempted to initiate some conversation with the man who had brought you here but he was too busy texting to listen. So consumed with the glow of his screen, you couldn’t help but peek to see what was so interesting. As soon as you got a glimpse you wished you had been less nosey. His attention was not being stolen by a dumb Instagram reels, but actually, a long string of texts with a girl whose name you didn’t recognize. Your stomach pinged at his possible infidelity. Partly because he was your boyfriend but mostly because you’d spent months convincing yourself to like him, to stay with him, to be a good girlfriend—and he could care less. All this work and effort on your part was simply discarded with his unloyal behavior. It was all for nothing. But hey, maybe you were just drawing conclusions. It could just be a friend. Right?

December 31st, 10:15pm:

Jax had finally shifted his attention back to you before his screen lit up again causing you to retaliate in irritation. You swiped up the cracked device before he had the chance and began to scroll.

“Can’t you just silence it? What is soooo fucking importan-.” Your voice caught at the sight of flirty messages littering the screen.

“Are-are you fucking cheating on me?” You instantly questioned.

“Bro no! Give me my fucking phone back!”

“Who the fuck are you texting then? ‘Mary Jane’,” you spouted in a mocking tone, “no way is that someone's real name. You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s a joke between me and my cousin. Now would you chill?”

“Your cousin?? You call your cousin baby?? I mean, I knew this town was full of hicks but I didn’t know y’all were those kinds of hicks.” The alcohol was giving you a little too much courage as your taunting waded into dangerous territory.

“The fuck did you just say? Don’t fucking test me! Can’t even handle a couple shots without getting all crazy on me!!”

“Crazy?? I’m being fucking reasonable. Literally any other person would be bothered by this just as much as me.”

“You know what, just fuck off. We can talk when you stop being such a delusional bitch.” He then disappeared into the living room, landing onto the couch, leaving you alone with your anger. 

December 31st, 10:30pm:

You stood idle, bubbling over with emotion, eye’s filling with tears when a wet sensation hit your upper lip. Its flow grew stronger and began to trickle onto your hands where your gaze was locked. Deep red stained your palms- a random nosebleed. It was like a sign from the universe. A sign that you weren’t crazy. In fact, you might be one of the only sane people in this whole damn town. Stuck in your reverie, blood continued to drip on your hands, your shirt, your lips- everywhere. That is until a kind eyed girl slipped you a dish towel to stop the flow. 

“Uh hey, your nose is bleeding.” You snapped your head up finally acknowledging the moment in full.

“Shit thanks, sorry…” Your face went hot realizing how long you had been just standing still, letting the blood fall where it may. The heat doubled, spreading to your ears when you finally acknowledged the person who had witnessed the whole thing. Ellie Williams. You had never formally met but knew of her existence, as she had kind of a reputation around school. There wasn’t anything inherently bad about her (at least in your opinion), she just didn’t fit the mold of most residents in your town. Therefore, she was a target for people's prejudices, especially being the only out lesbian in your senior class. Despite everyone else’s thoughts, you really admired her. You wished you had that type of courage.

“It’s no problem…” the auburn haired girl glanced down deciding what to say next before lifting her gaze back up to you. “Not to be nosey, I know you don’t really know me, but like… are you okay?”

Head tilted back, you gave a nasally reply, “Oh me? Yeah, yeah uh- I’m okay” 

“No offense but uh, you don’t look that okay.” she gestured to your bloody everything.

“Alright so I’m not okay, you got me.” You looked down to your now crimson stained blouse and scrubbed frantically at the chiffon material trying to reprimand the damage.

“Here, here– You can just take my flannel to cover it up, I promise I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Before you could say anything else, Ellie was sliding the warm garment over your shoulders and guiding you into the arm holes. It was dark blue, in a faded plaid pattern, and smelled of pine and incense. The girl was now left barren in just her white tank– and all for you.

“Yeah of course.” She then took it a step further, buttoning you up. You watched as her dexterous fingers worked up from the bottom of the shirt to the top, brushing you at each maneuver. A little jab into the plush right under your naval, a swipe past your ribs, and a tap at your collarbones. The quick, unexpected interaction left you completely flustered and you weren’t quite sure why.

“Thank you.” was all you could say. 

“Sooo… do you wanna talk about it?” At this point, Ellie was completely enamored with you from the way you handled yourself with Jax. She had this unusual feeling, a feeling like she needed to protect you. A feeling that you were different from most. Maybe you were even a little like her?

“Honestly, yeah. My friend Samara was supposed to be here tonight but I guess she decided not to show, and I’m starting to wish I didn’t either.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I’m glad you’re here. Come on now, follow me.” Ellie led the way to a set of stairs at the edge of the living room. You snaked right past the couch where Jax was drunkenly passed out, mumbling obscenities at his phone. Of course, he paid no mind to you. The idiot was too consumed with himself to even wonder if you were okay.

December 31st, 11:00pm:

You and the sweet girl sat on the rough carpeted step talking about everything under the sun. Ellie was the first person in a really long time who you felt you could be honest with.

“So you think he’s cheating on you?” she questions trying to clarify the few bits of dialogue she heard while watching from afar.

“I know he is. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sure you’re not.” Ellie put her head down staring at the laces of her dirty converse. You felt so unreadable, making her unsure of how to proceed in the conversation. “So00, how do you feel about it all then?”

“I don’t know, I guess angry.” you answered with a remarkably solemn tone. 

“What about… sad?”

Like second nature, you instantly thought of a less than honest answer until Ellie’s attentive green eyes brought you back to Earth. 

“It feels like… I’m supposed to be sad, but I can’t. In a twisted, confusing way, I’m honestly kinda relieved. So fucking pissed, but relieved.” Ellie’s lids widened, this was an answer she wasn’t expecting at all–but one she was glad to hear.  

“I can’t blame you, he does kinda seem like a piece of shit.”

“And his dick is small too.” you quipped, making Ellie chuckle under her breath.

“Maybe I’m reading into things, but… it seems like you never really liked this guy in the first place.” 

You took a guilty pause before confirming, “Maybe…”

“So why haven’t you broken up with him?” Ellie was genuinely curious. She thought if it was her in the situation she definitely would’ve gotten rid of that Jax guy long, long ago. Who would wanna keep around a douche bag like that?

“Being with Jax felt convenient. He felt like my ticket to ‘normalcy’.” You put your head down in slight shame but continued the explanation. “I got so caught up in my image that I neglected how I actually felt. I was doing everything to please everyone but me.”  Ellie scooted in one inch to the left, now connecting your thighs and bringing in a sense of comfort.

“Trust me, I understand. This town is fucking ruthless.”

“God yeah, the things I’ve heard people say about you are seriously fucked up. I don’t know how you do it.” A beat of silence lingered as Ellie articulated her thoughts.

“I think… community. I mean, obviously most of the people at our school look down on me, but all it takes is one singular person to be right there with you and then things don’t feel so bad. I guess for me, I can’t imagine being anything but myself. Like completely myself.” The girl looked up from the hangnail she was picking at as she spoke and was met with your tear filled eyes. “Fuck, did I say something?”

Your hand shot up to quickly wipe away the floodgates threatening to fall, “No, no. It’s just that you’re right,” you stuttered, choking down another cry, “an-and, I wish I would've realized it sooner because these past 4 years have been like hell. I don’t wanna be the cookie cutter straight girl anymore. I just wanna be me.”

Ellie then placed a gentle hand to your knee and brought her eyes to meet your own, “And what might that be?”

“Gay. Like really fucking gay.” you said through teary-eyed laughs as Ellie joined in with her own hearty chuckle.

“Welcome to the club.” she said, sticking out a strong hand for you to shake. You grasped it tightly as her warm palm guided you up and down, her touch lingering just a little longer than the gesture itself. As you collected yourself you whipped out a small pocket mirror to touch up the smudged mascara littering your undereyes. Ellie admired in silence. She was in pure awe of your resilience, and when you were finished with your clean up, you turned back to realize what had just gone down.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you considering we just met. It’s weird how things I’ve never even said out loud before can come out so easily around a stranger.”

Ellie nudges you with her shoulder, “I guess I just have that effect, huh?”

“I guess you do.” you sighed, nudging her back.

December 31st, 11:15pm:

The two of you continued your banter until a cold breeze from the back door gave Ellie a brilliant idea.

“Dare I say… you look like you need a blunt?” she said with a mischievous smirk.

“No, please. It's exactly what I need.”

Ellie then reached into the pocket of her baggy jeans, “I guess it’s your lucky day then.” she said, revealing the most perfectly wrapped blunt you’d ever seen.

“You’re actually god sent Ellie. How are we just now meeting?” The auburn-haired girl gave a small laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you to the backyard. As she pushed the white panel door open, every single ounce of weight that had been lifted off from that one singular conversation, all came crashing back down. Ellie and you weren’t the only ones who adventured outside into the brisk night air. Right on the porch stood Jax, accompanied by your “friend” Samara, who up until this point you didn’t even think was coming. The piece of shit was practically sucking her face off before the creaking sound of the back door sent them 5 feet apart.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” you yelled, eyes growing dark with rage. Ellie just stood and watched from the corner.

“Babe, please! I swear it’s not what you think!” Jax stumbled forward, attempting to grasp at your figure.

“Don’t you dare try and touch me! You don’t even deserve to look at me. It’s over Jax. I’m done being suffocated by your never ending bullshit!” Knuckles clenched, you continued your lashings, this time at Samara. “I-I thought we were friends. What happened to that?”

“You don’t even like him. You should be thanking me.” she spat. 

“You really don’t get it, huh? This has nothing to do with me liking Jax or not, you completely betrayed our friendship the second you started fucking him behind my back. Friends don’t fuck each other boyfriends Samara!” Before she could even respond Jax was dragging her away, flipping you off on the way inside.

“Ellie-” you squeaked, trembling in shock. 

“Come here, it’s okay love.” she whispered, parting her arms to make a safe space just for you. You collapsed into the warm cavity and relinquished the buckets of tears you had been saving for the moment someone actually gave a fuck. And Ellie did. She never let go of you even for a second as you crumbled under her.

“Jeez I’m sorry.” you said after minutes of pure silence, lifting your head to meet Ellie’s green eyes. 

“For what?”

“For being a drunk mess, crying to you about a man, and also, I think I got a little snot on your shirt.” you tried to laugh it off but you really just wanted to disappear.

Taking your face in her palms Ellie reassured you, “hey, hey no need to be sorry pretty girl. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Besides, I think I look kinda good with this huge ass wet spot in the middle of my tank top. What do you think?” You stepped back and took a look at the damage, and honestly, she was kinda right. With the white cotton material you could see right through to her toned stomach, barely missing the bottom of her breasts. 

“Fine, yes. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls who’d kill to see you in a wet shirt Ellie.”

“Lucky you then.” she said, playfully nudging your shoulder.

You couldn’t help it as the corners of your mouth turned upwards, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“There’s that smile. Soooo… blunt now?”

“Yes. Blunt.”

December 31st, 11:30pm:

And just like that, you were halfway through the chestnut wand of herbs and deep in conversation.  

“So you really haven't seen But I’m a Cheerleader?” Ellie asked, blowing out a puff of smoke with the question and passing it on.

You took the blunt from between her fingers and let it rest between your own, “No. Should I have?” 

“Definitely dude, it’s like queer classic.”

“Oh yeah?” You cocked your head at the freckled faced girl. 

“Yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, you’re honestly just like the main character.”

“How so?” you asked, taking another long draw. 

“She’s in denial about being gay for like the first 30 minutes of the movie.”

A string of coughs unleashed from your chest as you let out a hefty laugh mid-inhale, “Bitch-”

“What? I’m being so deadass!”

“Fine, what character are you then?” you pry, passing the lit blunt back over to Ellie.

Taking a hit she replies, “I guess I’d be graham.”

“And what does she do?”

“I’m kinda like your awakening in a sense. Graham is all gay and cool, and of course Megan—that's you—totally falls for her.” 

You retrieve the lit cannabis and roll your eyes, “I haven’t fallen for you yet Williams.”

“Yet.” she emphasizes, placing a soft finger to the tip of your nose tauntingly.

“Ha. Ha.” you monotonously mock, “Now here, I think it’s done.” You hand Ellie the roach and she promptly stubs it out into the concrete slab deck.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’m fucking cold.” she pleas.

“Dude I’m scared. Like I am way too fucked up for this.”

“No, no– I promise you’re fine. I’ll protect you.” 

“Fineee.” you drag out.

December 31st, 11:50pm:

Things were seemingly fine as you and Ellie entered the muggy living area of the packed house once more. Your hesitancy was quite clear though and Ellie could sense you needed just a little reassurance. Your right hand, currently picking away at the hangnail on the thumb of your left, was quickly captured by Ellies own rough hand which led you back to your comfortable spot on the ascending stair set.

As you both took a seat your grip remained tight on the girl, afraid that if you let go you might jump up from your spot right then and there just to give Jax one more lesson. Just the sight of him through the slats of the stairs’ wooden railing—legs casually spread wide and eyes focused in on a casual game of Mortal Kombat—drove you fucking crazy. 

“Dude if you keep staring like that you might actually burn a hole through his dumb ass T-shirt.” Ellie said, nudging your tensed shoulder.

“Good it’s ugly anyways.”

“Fair point.”

“I just have this burning need to get back at him. I wanna beat his ass just like in that game he can’t take his eyes off.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Very funny, but you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned before laying a soft punch to the girl's forearm. A string of dramatic “Ows” reverberated from her lips. “See, I’m a badass right?”

“Fine you’re a total badass” she agreed begrudgingly, rubbing the soft tissue of her arm where you had left your mark. 

“What? It hurt that bad? You need me to kiss it better?” you taunted. 

“Maybe I do.” she said, longing eyes staring into your own. 

You gulped down any hesitation and felt it drop straight to your nervous stomach, “Where does it hurt?”

Ellie pointed to her arm slowly, “here.”

You placed a soft peck.

Hot breath raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin, “and here”, she gestured to her outstretched neck

Another supple kiss.

“And um-” she continued, but was quickly cut off and brought back to reality with the bellowing sound of a countdown. Too caught up in the moment, you both had almost forgotten about the holiday currently taking place.

FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO…

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted frantically, and with no words you dove into her plump, chapped lips. Just like a puzzle piece your bottom lip slotted perfectly between her own. It was a gentle and delicate kiss at first, drinking in the euphoric moment. Quickly though, soft maneuvers of the mouth got quicker and harder. Spit was exchanged with passion and need, as your hands were becoming grabby at the girl's toned figure. The heat growing between your legs was an easy distraction from the fact that you were at a large party, in a hick town, with your ex-boyfriend now hovering over your more than friendly exchange.

January 1st, 12:01am:

“The fuck? You’re a dyke now?” he yells, practically loud enough for the whole party to hear. You and Ellie frantically pull apart, bumping heads in the process.

The calloused hands that were once caressing the small of your back are now balled into tight fists as Ellie rises from her seated position.

“The fuck did you just say?” she questions, tilting her head to the right.

You now stand up with her, worried where this might go, “Jax you need to walk away.”

“Oh shut up slut. You’re so fucking desperate you’d do it with anyone!” 

That one hurt. That was the tipping point. Tears welled in your eyes. 

“I’M NOT A FUCKING SLUT! I’M GAY AND NEVER LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“You need to leave now before I do something I’ll regret, you dirty bitch.” he threatens. And that's it, Ellie takes a swing aiming straight for his nose. Her fist retracts and reveals his bloody and now crooked cartilage. Through clenched teeth Jax grips onto Ellies white tank, throwing her into the open space of the living room. Just like a car crash, it’s one of those things where a scene can be so disturbing but you just can’t look away. And everyone else in the room was feeling it too—backed into corners, hands over mouths, some men even obnoxiously chanting “fight, fight.” But this isn’t what you wanted. Not at all.

“STOP! YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP IT!” you screamed desperately. You didn’t even want to imagine what Jax would do to the freckled girl who changed your life in mere hours. But you didn’t have to, because here they were, brawling it out for the whole school. Jax swung at Ellie’s head to which she ducked before jabbing him in the stomach, stealing whatever air was swimming in his lungs. He stumbled backwards 3 steps, coughing through the hit, but this just made him angrier.

He charged back at the flustered girl with more force and gained a grip on a wad of choppy auburn hair. With a forceful yank she came tumbling to the ground with him on top. Ellie wriggled, pushed, and kicked but the sheer weight of the furious man was enough to keep her pinned. Jax began punching left and right, capturing her face with each blow. Thick crimson decorated his knuckles and the entirety of the girl's face. You could barely make out her litter of freckles and the half-lidded slits of emerald green—it was blood, all blood.

But as Jax kept on going, and the room grew quieter, this fight turned into something much more serious. It was inching on life or death and you had to do something. You surveyed the room, eyes dancing from counter to counter until a large glass beer bottle nagged at the tips of your fingers. Grabbing it tightly in your fist, you did what you had to to end this. Glass and gasps scattered through the room. The sharp brown shards littered the floor and evoked a gushing red stream from the back of Jax’s head. He instantly rolled to the side leaving Ellie an opening to escape. You weren’t done yet though, he hadn’t gotten what he deserved yet. Falling to the floor right at his body, hot tears streamed down your face.

Through curses and screams you thrashed at the man's barely conscious frame, “FUCK YOU JAX! FUCK YOU!” This was for every time he made you feel stupid, for making you feel like the ugliest girl in the room, for all the times he kissed you while you just prayed for it to be over, for making your life a living hell. With each scratch, punch, and kick all the pent up anger and resentment drained from your soul. Ellie let you have at him for a bit but as the crowd started to thin she knew the cops would be here any second now.

“Come on! We gotta go hun!” she nagged. 

“NO I CAN’T! NOT YET” you yelled, collapsing down into tears. Ellie promptly scooped you up by your armpits and dragged you from Jax’s limp body.

“I know baby, you're angry, it’s hard. But the cops are coming and we need to leave now.” she said, picking you up completely and carrying you through the frame of the propped open front door. You nestled your head into her bloody top as your chest still rapidly rose up and down, choking on the last few streams of tears and snot. “I’m gonna get you home love, don’t you worry.”

January 1st, 12:15am:

Finally through the small window of Ellie’s red truck you spot your familiar 2 story home. She grips the steering wheel, whipping to the right into the empty driveway. Of course she helps you inside and up to your quaint little bedroom. It felt weird almost—so quiet and still after such a chaotic night—and void of any life but you and the freckled faced girl. It was a cold feeling knowing you’d be all alone in just a few minutes, and tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a feeling you wanted to know.

“Els?”

“Yeah?” she answered softly. 

“Can you stay?”

With a kiss to the head she agreed, “Of course I’ll stay.” The rest of the night was spent cuddled up under your warm comforter, and despite all the events from just hours before, you felt safe. And for once, in fucking years, you were content.

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

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#wlw #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #ellie smut #ellie tlou #ellie williams fan fiction #ellie williams series #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #callmelola111 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams tlou #tlou #the last of us #tlou 2 #tlou 2 smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #tlou ellie #the last of us 2 #tlou series #the last of us ellie

[tiannasfanfic]

Happy Birthday

Eddie Munson x Reader (Smut)

| Eddie & Steddie Masterlist | AO3 Link |

Summary: This year, Eddie Munson may have finally outdid you when it comes to birthday gifts.

Rating: Explicit 18+

Author Note: Afab Reader, they/them pronouns (if any). Rockstar!Eddie x Hotwife!Reader. Rock Star AU. Reader is bi or pan (not specified in story). My Pansexual!Reader concept has grown into a Hotwife!Reader. This is pure, unadulterated, shameless smut. Absolute filth ahead. *sorrynotsorry*

CW: Foursome (three f, one m); oral (f receiving); fingering; masturbation (m); face sitting; squirting; voyeurism; sex (p in v); praise; nipple play.

Word Count: 2,094

Ever since the two of you had known each other, you and Eddie always tried to one up each other when it came to birthday gifts.

This only escalated once Corroded Coffin took off and the two of you had the money to get really ridiculous with it, going to outrageous, but thoughtful, lengths to top the other’s gift from their previous birthday.

While you always looked forward to seeing what Eddie was going to do on your birthday, he had really outdone himself this year. The night wasn’t even over yet and you had no idea how you were going to top this one.

“O-Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god, fuck, fuuuuck!”

You were nearly screaming, your entire body trembling as your second orgasm rushed through your body, prompted by the rapid flicking of a pierced tongue directly over your clit.

“Look at her legs shake, Eddie!” came a giggly voice from slightly above you. “That was a good one!”

There was a soft “mm” sound from between your legs as you felt the tongue slide down from your clit to start softly licking at your entrance.

A rush of air escaped your throat in a gasp. Lifting yourself up on your elbows, you opened your eyes to watch what was happening.

You found yourself looking into the big green eyes of the woman devouring you, her gaze locked onto your face, watching your expressions with rapt interest.

She stopped probing you with her tongue for a moment to grin up at you.

“Feel good, ?” she asked, before placing a soft kiss right above your clit.

“F-fuck yes,” you said, nodding rapidly.

“Mmm, I’m glad,” she said, then began dipping her tongue in and out of your dripping pussy.

“Gonna be down there awhile, you think?” said the giggling voice next to you.

This voice brought your attention back to the third woman here with you on the bed, a curvy, brown eyed blonde. You would have been hard pressed to say who was hotter, her or the redhead between your legs.

“Oh yeah,” said the redhead, whose name was Vicky, then she propped herself up on one elbow to lean up towards Betty, the blonde, and puckered her lips towards her. “Here. Have a taste.”

Betty leaned over from where she was kneeling next to you to kiss her friend intensely.

“Mmm,” said Betty, licking her lips as she pulled away from the kiss before grinning down to you. “You do taste amazing. Can’t wait to get my own tongue in there.”

“I told you both that you were in for a treat,” came Eddie’s voice from across the room.

Your gaze swiveled at the sound of his voice, locking onto him where he was sitting in an armchair next to the bed.

Just the sight of him made you groan softly.

Eddie was stripped to the waist and at some point had changed from his jeans to a pair of loose gray sweats. Between that and his reclined pose, you could see how hard he was from watching you three on the bed.

You started to stretch your free hand out to him, your other one holding onto the back of Vicky's head. A gasp left your lips soon as Betty’s mouth came back down around one of your nipples.

“C’mere, baby,” you whined to Eddie. “Lemme suck your cock.”

While Eddie palmed himself through his sweats and groaned at your words, he shook his head at you.

“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said with a smile, his voice that low tone it always was when he was severely turned on. “Vicky and Betty here were eye fucking you at the after party, not me.”

A loud moan left your lips then as Vicky stopped licking your entrance in favor of going back to your clit. But she didn’t leave your dripping hole unattended for too long before she sank a finger into you.

“Then Eddie approached us and said it’s your birthday,” giggled Betty against your chest before she kissed and licked her way up to your mouth. “That was an offer we definitely couldn’t refuse.”

Vicky hummed against your clit in agreement as she began sliding her finger in and out of you. Soon she added a second, causing your eyes to close again as you moaned loudly.

“Now, enjoy yourself, sweetheart,” you heard Eddie say. “These fine ladies are going to take good care of you.”

Betty’s lips captured yours then in a deep kiss right as Vicky curved her fingers inside you. You opened your mouth against hers in a moan, which Betty took full advantage of. Her tongue slipped into your mouth as she used two fingers on each hand to tease and flick both of your nipples.

As Betty went to work on your mouth and tits, Vicky’s movements became slower. It was almost lazy the way she ran the tip of her tongue around your clit. After a couple of passes, she placed a soft kiss directly on it, then lifted her head to look at Betty.

“Maybe Y/N just needs something to keep their mouth busy,” she said, then lightly licked a stripe up your slit, making you gasp.

Vicky pulled back just a bit to look in your eyes.

“Is it that, pretty girl?” she asked. “You just want anything to lick and suck, don’t you?”

Words were a bit beyond you at this point, you just nodded your head rapidly, looking up at Betty with wide eyes.

She grinned down at you, then leaned back on her knees.

“What would you like, these?” she asked, bringing her hands up to squeeze her own bare tits. “Or…”

She trailed one hand down her body, your eyes following it the whole way, to start lightly rubbing her pussy through the lace g string she still wore.

“This?”

Your eyes followed Betty’s movements with rapt attention as her fingers worked over the flimsy black lace. It was a very loose weave of lace, letting you see her slit through it. You couldn’t help but lick your lips, then your gaze traveled up her body back to her eyes.

“P-please sit on my face,” you whimpered softly, then moaned as Vicky pumped her fingers into you harder before slowing back down.

Betty grinned down at you.

“Now how could I say no to that?”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you lay back on the bed, watching her shed the g string.

As she was shifting around to the bed to get into position, you took one last look over at Eddie. Now he had his cock free of his sweats and one hand wrapped around it. He was stroking himself slowly, lazily, not a pace that would make him cum anytime soon.

His eyes locked onto yours and he grinned playfully.

“Happy Birthday, sweetheart,” he said. “I love you.”

There wasn’t any time for you to reply. Betty moved just then so one knee was on either side of your head. Now all you could see was her pillowy thighs and her beautiful pussy just a few inches above her face.

Just the sight alone made you moan.

“Ready?” Betty giggled down at you as she took ahold of the headboard for balance.

“Mmhmm,” you said, nodding eagerly as your hands came up to rub the backs of her thighs. “Wanna taste you, beautiful.”

Without another word, she lowered herself down on your eager mouth, where you wasted no time before running your tongue through her wet folds. As Vicky continued to slowly fuck you with her fingers, you slid your tongue as far into Betty’s pussy as it could go, wiggling it and earning a gasp from above you.

You opened your eyes and looked up at her, meeting her gaze as she leaned over against the headboard to watch you eat her pussy. Winking at her, you trailed your tongue back up to her clit at the same time you wrapped your arms around her thighs. You then pulled her down even further into your mouth and you eagerly latched onto her, sucking on her sensitive bud with enthusiasm.

It didn’t take long before the bedroom was filled with Betty’s moans and gasp.

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed, breaking eye contact finally to throw her head back, arching back forward.

“Did I forget to mention how absolutely sinful Y/N is with their mouth?” you could hear Eddie say under Betty’s moans.

To empathize his words, you let go of her clit with your lips to start working it over with your tongue instead.

“God, fuck!” Betty cried, holding onto the headboard and starting to grind her pussy down against your mouth.

At that time, Vicky started fingering you harder, making you gasp and moan around Betty’s clit, which made her moan even more.

“Make her cum, sweetheart,” you heard Eddie say to you. “Show Betty here what that mouth can do.”

Not in a teasing mood, you did what you were told, your tongue working her clit with rapid fire speed, circling and flicking over it with skilled precision. It didn’t take long before her thighs were trembling on either side of your head as her hips rocked forward. You softly nipped at the hood of her clit, making her gasp loudly, before going back to work with her tongue.

It didn’t take much longer before Betty was coming undone. Your face became even more messy with her wetness as she humped your mouth through her orgasm. Then you eagerly switched from her clit to her dripping pussy, your hands gripping her thighs just under her ass to spread her open wider. She moaned and whimpered as your tongue swirled around her entrance before diving back in.

“F-fuck, pretty girl, your tongue is magic,” she moaned loudly.

At that moment, Vicky wrapped her lips around your clit and started sucking on it hard as she pumped her fingers in and out of you.

You moaned loudly into Betty’s folds as you felt the coil in you start to build for the third time tonight, but now you wanted Betty to cum with you this time. You slid one hand fully between her legs to push your fingers into her, your tongue lapping up her wetness as it dripped out of her before going back to flick over her clit. Keeping the same pace with Vicky, soon you and Betty both were moaning loudly in unison.

The vibrations of your mouth around her clit had Betty cumming again. As her cum and wetness ran down from your fingers, you kept the same pace to fuck her through her orgasm. When the coil finally snapped and you let out a carnal moan against Betty’s clit, her body started trembling.

“G-gonna c-c-“ Betty panted, trying to grind herself on both your mouth and fingers at the same time, before she suddenly cried out and clenched tight around you in a surprise orgasm.

And what a surprise it was.

A stream of liquid suddenly drenched your chin and neck as Betty squirted on your face. You eagerly lapped your tongue through her dripping slit, moaning softly at her taste.

Your body was trembling now, the motions of your tongue growing erratic as Vicky continued to work her fingers in and out of you the way you were still finger fucking Betty. It was only seconds before you were crying out as your own pussy gushed around Vicky’s fingers.

“Holy shit,” you heard Eddie say from his chair, sounding awestruck.

Soon, you, Betty and Vicky were laying in each other’s arms, two of you trembling and giggling in your post orgasm bliss, the third holding and stroking you both soothingly.

After a while, you felt two strong hands grasp your ankles, and soon your body was pulled down to the edge on the bed, where you found yourself looking up into Eddie’s grinning face.

“Don’t tell me you’re all tapped out now,” he said playfully, capturing one of your legs to place it over his shoulder. “I haven’t had a turn with you yet.”

Without giving you time to reply, Eddie lined the head of his cock up with your entrance and slid his hard length into you in one smooth motion.

As your eyes rolled up into the back of your head, you had just a moment to wonder how on earth you were going to top this birthday before he started pounding himself into you and you lost all capacity for rational thought.

Eddie Munson Taglist: @eddie-swhore @bmunson86 @tayhar811

#eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson one shot #rockstar!eddie #rockstar eddie munson

[dreamonminecraft]

I mean, George’s been showing an attraction for men (fictional and real) for ages, not just Dream. Those thirst traps he used to watch.. his fascination (not just jokes) with dicks over the years. Also he went from being very awkward/careful about any gay mention (remember how upset he got over the ’bottom’ comment?) to fully embracing that now. He even got upset when the sidemen thought he would be bad at head like? For me, in the past two years, he (seemed to at least) fully accept himself. That obviously doesn’t mean you’re ready to be out about it. But going out to gay clubs with Larray, being in their ’twink’ tiktok thing they did and all other moments.. they bonded over *something* surely. So yeah, I was shocked about this whole thing, not gonna lie. It’s the first time ever we’ve heard about him in connection with women, in a non-platonic way. Like remember when he went on that girl trip with the Botez sisters in 2022? Just him and the girls and them talking about that ’Zaddy’ waitress or whatever it was 😂 And all the moments of him seeming uncomfortable about talking of girlfriends and boobs and yeah, I don’t know. He’s always been just gay in my eyes (based on the things he’s done/said and not stereotypes or looks just to be clear.) Or even about just dnf either. Like take Dream out of the equation and I would still think that. Now sexuality can be fluid of course. Maybe he realised he could feel something for women too? Maybe it was an exception to the rule? Or maybe, he experimented a bit and what do we know what he really felt about it? People try things sometimes, for many different reasons. Maybe he had a little crisis or something. Maybe he was heartbroken over Dream flirting with someone else in the same room like? Or maybe he is bi/pan ( not trying to deny the possibility, I’m bi myself so.) But yeah, just my opinion, not some actual truth here ofc ❤️

I think that's a really fair assessment. From what we knew of his private life (up until a few weeks ago) he was attracted to men (real and fictional) and never shared details of any prior real life experiences with anybody (women or otherwise - first kiss, past partners, etc)

He's fine with the perception that people have of him being gay (obviously it doesn't hurt his career. not saying he's queer baiting) but Dream was very 'im straight. I kiss girls. I date girls' before he knew he wasn't straight, and when he started to realize that he wasn't, he still acknowledged that he liked girls while recognizing his changing feelings. George is just very private in general.

There's a clip from one of the very first dsmp streams where Dream calls George gay "he's like that one closeted friend who doesn't say I love you because he doesn't want to out himself" (my least favorite Dream joke ever, thanks) and you know how he justifies it to the (rightfully) uncomfortable chat? "I wouldn't say that if I wasn't 100% sure George was straight."

George's response: "Straight outta Compton"

I mean this guy has been actively denying any sort of public labeling of his sexuality by anyone for almost four years. Maybe he's in the same position as Dream and he just doesn't want a label (doesn't know/doesn't like the pressure/whatever) or maybe the public perception is something that he doesn't want. Whatever he is, I think it's pretty clear he's some sort of queer.

#i do feel a little weird being so thrown off by him (maybe) not being gay #like it feels. biphobic #im bi. #i don't care if he's bi or pan or whatever it's just fucking with my head #asks

[petersthree]

Succession + My favorite queer readings of (most) of the Roy family

Image ID under the cut: 

Five large gifs of Connor Roy, Kendall Roy, Tom Wambsgans & Shiv Roy, Roman Roy, and Greg Roy. Each gif is split up into one black and white gif and six gifs in color. 

[Gif 1: A black and white gif of Connor Roy on the top right of the gif, putting on his suit jacket and talking. The set says Connor Roy, trans. To the left of the gif are two vertically rectangular gifs. One is of Connor in a khaki shirt saying “I am the eldest son of our father. I am. Me.” and the other is from the same scene, where Connor says “I’m the eldest son”. The camera pans to Shiv, who says “Well, yeah, obviously, but you know what he means.” Underneath the gifs is a horizontally rectangle shaped gif of Connor and Roman in an apartment. Connor says “You know, PGN pulls up that photo of me in a ponytail any time they want to call me untrustworthy.” Roman points in agreement with his thumb after Connor says this. Under the gif are two small square gifs. The one to the left is a video of Connor in a kitchen saying “Ding dong! Who’s there? Uncle Sam. And where’s his hand? In my pants.” The other gif has Logan (offscreen) saying “Cut the horseshit. Know your role.” Connor nods sadly and replies “Yes Pa.” The final gif is next to these squares and underneath the black and white gif, and it shows Gerri saying “First-second born son.” As she corrects herself, Connor rolls his eyes and looks away.] 

[Gif 2: A black and white gif of Kendall Roy at the top left of the gif. He is staring at Mattson (offscreen). The gif says Kendall Roy, queer. To the right of the gif are two vertically rectangular gifs. The first one shows Kendall in a dark blue shirt, speaking to Stewy (offscreen). Kendall says “There was no card he wouldn’t play against me.” The next gif shows Kendall speaking to Lawrence Yee, both in suits. Kendall pulls out a chair and says “So, are we ready to fuck or what?” while Lawrence chuckles, caught off guard. Underneath these gifs is a horizontal rectangular gif. It flips from Stewy embracing Kendall to a shot of Nate and Kendall ending their hug, arms still around each other. Unnder this gif are two square gifs. The one on the bottom right shows Logan saying “Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fuck him?”. The camera cuts to Kendall, who does not speak. The final gif is of Stewy speaking, the only thing onscreen is Stewy’s hand, which makes a handjob motion. The text says “Why don’t we do what we did back in the day, let’s go to the bathroom, have a little something something, just knock out a few ideas.” At some point his hand knocks against Kendall, who moves his hands away.] 

[Gif 3: A black and white gif of Tom and Shiv at the bottom right of the gif. They are biting each other’s arms and grinning at each other. The text says Tom Wambsgans & Shiv Roy, mlm & wlw (cringefail beards). The gifs to the left of them are two vertically rectangular gifs. The one on the right shows Tom speaking to Greg (offscreen), saying “I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.” The gif to the left shows Shiv in sunglasses, speaking to Logan (who is out of frame), saying “[Lisa’s], yeah, she’s a pretty...she’s a friend.” The gif above these two is a horizontal rectangle gif of both Shiv and Tom. Tom asks “Can I...watch?” and the camera cuts to Shiv, who lights up and says, “Oh, yeah!” The gifs above this are two square gifs. The one on the left shows Tom kissing Greg’s forehead in Greg’s office. The one to the right shows Shiv speaking with Rhea. Shiv says “So, are you a person who can’t look someone in the eye after you fucked them?” The final gif is next to these gifs and shows Tom, speaking to Greg (out of frame) and Logan (out of frame). To Greg he says, “Would you kiss me?” and to Logan he says “I could give you a kiss from here.”] 

[Gif 4: A black and white gif of Roman in his child’s Walmart shirt. The text says Roman Roy, gay, ace, bi, pan. The sexualities are all crossed out and the bottom text says Yes. To the right of this are two vertical rectangular gifs. The one on the left shows Roman speaking to Jeryd Menckyn (out of frame). Roman says Well this is nice. Couple of cool guys having some disgusting fun.” The camera then cuts to Roman winking at Mencken. The gif to the right shows Roman hugging a disinterested Eduard Asgarov. Roman says “Oh my god, you smell like cotton candy. I almost want to lick your neck.” The gif above is a horizontal rectangle gif. It shows Roman and his physical trainer, they are doing a session but the implication is suggestive. The subtitle shows Shiv’s line from season 3: “Everyone says that he used to get jerked off by his personal trainer.” There are two square gifs above this one. The one to the left is of Roman and Mencken smiling at each other in the bathroom. The one to the right is of Gerri on the phone, degrading Roman, while Roman  masturbates in his room. The final gif is of two shots. The first shot shows Roman saying “...and [I’m the only one] who doesn’t wanna fuck anyone” and the second shot shows Tabitha. Roman (offscreen) asks her “Is there anyone you haven’t fucked?” and Tabitha replies: “You!”]

[Gif 5: A black and white gif of Greg in a suit, with an auction sticker on his forehead that was placed there by Tom (offscreen). The text says Gregory Hirsch, Gay. To the left are two vertical rectangular squares. The one to the right shows Greg in a restaurant, asking “You trying to seduce me, Tom?” before it flips to a shot of Greg in the same scene, blushing and brushing back his hair behind his ears. The gif on the left shows Tom and Greg at Kendall’s birthday party. Tom says “I got a dick the size of a red sequoia and I fuck like a bullet train. Okay? Satisfied?” and Greg steps towards him and says “Prove it.” The gif underneath these two is a horizontal rectangle of Greg running up close to Tom, excitedly telling him something while Tom looks annoyed. Underneath this are two square gifs. The one to the left show Tom in a white suit and Greg in a polo. Greg’s hand is on his cheek, he smiles at Tom and says “Souls are boring!” and Tom puts his head down and laughs. The gif to the right shows Tom and Greg at Kendall’s party, and Greg says “Well, just...I haven’t seen you smile in, like six hours.” The final gif is next to it, it is a square gif of Greg in a suit, walking in the bathroom speaking to himself nervously. He says “You could go to jail. Yeah, would you like that? Would you like that, pretty boy like you? Would you like it? Oh, you might. You might even like that.”] 

#successionedit #succession #successiondaily #useroli #useraudrey2 #tuserlena #tuserdi #usernicolee #tuserbeth #angelspotlight #userbrina #userahay #userlex #kendall roy #connor roy #shiv roy #tom wambsgans #roman roy #greg hirsch #janie makes stuff #*gifs

[the-guilty-writer]

Criminal Minds PRIDE Fic Challenge!

Here we go! First writing challenge ever and I'm even more excited about the theme. During June I ask fic writers to challenge themselves a little bit by writing a piece that is LGBTQ+ inclusive!!! Don't let the topic intimidate you; If you want to participate, but don't know where to start, there are prompts to help. All the fics will be collected in a Masterlist that will be avalible by July 1st.

Note: if you have accessibility issues with this post (or any of my posts!) let me know and I can send you the information in an accessible format.

Prompts and rules are under the cut!

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These prompts are only ideas to help get you started! You can write any LGBTQ+ centered fic you want! Feel free to modify any of the more specific prompts to your liking.

Prompts:

Character coming out to their friends/family/the team.

Character's found family is more supportive than biological family when they come out.

Characters go to a pride parade/festival/event!

Characters discuss queer coding in media.

Character(s) explains their new, queer relationship to a child.

Character 1's child comes out to them. They go to Character 2 to ask what they wish their parents would have done.

Character 1 is having an identity crisis (gender or sexuality). They go to Character 2 for help.

Character 1 is confident about their identity. Character 2 isn't, so they ask for some advice.

Character 1 takes Character 2 to a gay bar for the first time to act as their wingman/wingwoman/wingperson.

Character 1 is unsure if they're attracted to or envious of Character 2's confidence in their identity.

Character has been dating Morgan, but realizes they're not attracted to men. He isn't sure how he ended up in this situation twice, but it's the perfect opportunity for him to play matchmaker for his ex girlfriends.

Character comes out to the team (or it's just pride month) and Penelope goes a bit overboard with decorations.

For the writers who are intimidated by this topic or unsure if they can write it: write something with GN!reader. It's less intimidating than you think, and it can make someone's day to be able to read a fic they might otherwise not relate to!

Bi and Pan Prompts:

Character 1 has always thought they were straight, but they realize their feelings for their best friend, Character 2, are more than platonic.

Character 1 is in a straight passing relationship and worries about the visibility of their queer identity. Their partner is incredibly supportive in helping them express themselves.

(NSFW) What does Emily really do during a sin to win weekend?

Trans and Nonbinary Prompts:

Character 1 gives Character 2 a gender affirming haircut.

Hotch teaches Character how to shave.

JJ teaches Character how to do make up.

Character finds themselves needing gender affirming clothes. Rossi makes sure they have the best of the best.

(NSFW) Character 1 gifts Character 2 gender affirming lingerie and it gives them quite the confidence boost.

Aro and Ace Prompts:

Character 1 keeps trying to set up Character 2 with people/telling them to find someone to help ease their stress. Character 2 has had enough of it.

Character has a monthly spike in libido and it makes them question their identity. Spencer tries to help with a ramble about science (NSFW add on: and a few other ways).

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Rules:

The fic can reader insert, OC, character x character, general fic, etc. as long as the character(s) is from Criminal Minds (yes, even the ones I don't write for).

Fics can be any genre and can be platonic or romantic in nature... and yes, this includes smut (I know, I know my brand is ruined. Oh well). You must be 18+ if you are going to submit smut. You all know I love platonic fics very much if not more!

You can write something new or dig up something you've already written! I'm also happy to add on fics that are sent to me after the masterlist is posted.

Tag me in your fic or message me the link. Please list the ship, content warnings, and have a 1-2 sentence summary of your piece! If you have multiple pieces, you can submit a mini masterlist.

Be kind and respectful! Reach out to me if you have any concerns. This blog is a safe space!

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Thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins for the support and for sending some of the prompts from discord! (and telling me it's safe to tag @foxy-eva for this too)

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds x gn!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss fluff #emily prentiss smut #spencer reid #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner #david rossi #tara lewis #luke alvez #kate callahan

[angel-of-the-moons]

A Rose Under The Moon

Moon Knight System (Marc/Steven/Jake) x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: None really, chit-chat between some gal pals, some implied bi/pan reader.

A/N: Never fear, best gal Layla is here! Also the Hippo-Mama!

And I totes recommend reading the Hobby Headcanons that @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction wrote on the boys! I plan on implementing them all! (Also read all their other things, their Nathan Bateman shit is *insert Paccha meme here*) I need to read up on American football because frankly I have no clue how sports worked since I played soccer and baseball as a kid, before I write about Marc's lest I sound like some plebeian who's guessing everything lmao

Taglist: @bad4amficideas @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @shirukitsune @lokisremainingsanity

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Chapter 5:

Old Friends

You were minding your own business, cleaning up the mess of tossed books that a couple was oh so kind enough to allow their child to scatter.

You hoped you'd never see them again. While they sat at the nook, sipping coffee and eating the muffins, their child was running around, causing havoc and destroying your beautiful, well-organized shop. Oh, your poor shop…

The couple weren't happy when you charged them for the books their son had ripped up and destroyed beyond salvage, the books he colored in.

Yeah, you really hoped they would never come back.

You looked at your burned hand with a frown. It had been a few days since you hurt yourself, and while painful, the burn wasn't actually that bad. Some aloe, some ice… And it started to clear up after the first day, the blisters receding quickly. You flexed your fingers and tilted your head, curiously wondering if your soulmate could feel the burns, as well. When the thought crossed your mind, you pulled up your sleeve and looked at the mark on your wrist, checking to see which moon would be full today.

The bottom right one. It had been that one a lot, lately.

The bell to the front door dinged, and you straightened up, mentally preparing yourself for the forced smile you were going to have to put on, now.

You cleared your throat and spun around, broom in hand, looking at the woman who just walked in.

She was beautiful. Her tanned skin complimenting her dark eyes and mass of wavy curls. She smiled at you, a bit more genuine.

"Oh! Hello, welcome to Here Today Books." You say politely. "Can I help you?"

"You look like you need it more, sister." She sighed, smiling sympathetically, nodding to the pile of ruined books you now had to put into recycling. Her accent was… it wasn't American, like yours. It sounded similar, but her words had some kind of twinge to them.

"Ah, yeah… a couple and their lovely child were my most recent patrons." You joke dryly.

"Ah, a little tornado, huh?" She snorted, shaking her head.

"Yep. For sure." You sigh, giving her a new, more genuine smile. "Now, were you looking for anything in particular today?"

"Oh, actually, a friend told me about this place, and I was curious." She mused.

That… took you by surprise. People actually talk about your store? Like, as in tell other people about it? This was news, for sure.

"O-oh?" You blink.

"Yeah, he said you made good muffins and tea. I'm more of a coffee fan in the morning, myself, though. Tea is more of a night thing." She chuckled.

You tilt your head at her, gears in your brain whirling.

"Are you friends with Steven Grant, by any chance?" You ask.

She laughs. "Yes! I'm Layla. Layla el Faouly." She holds out her hand for you to shake, and you, without thinking, extend your healing hand.

She shakes it gingerly, her eyes focused on the rosy skin like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"That… looks like it hurt." She said.

"Oh, this? I was just dumb and grabbed a hot pan without thinking." You said, examining your hand casually.

"Oh… Yeah, that's not good for you, y'know?" Layla joked softly.

"Yeah, not the worst pains I've ever had, trust me." You reply. "Now, uh… are you looking for a book? Or after some of the coffee? Or my muffins?"

"Oh! I think I'll just explore a bit, if that's all right with you." Layla said with a nod.

"Oh, I don't mind! If you need anything, just holler!" You wave at her as she disappears into the shelves.

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"You saw it?" Layla muttered softly to herself; or more accurately, to the giant hippo-woman clad in gold and jewels standing next to her, only visible to her eyes.

"Yes, yes I did. Didn't Marc mention that he had phantom pains in that same hand?" Taweret chuckled.

"Yeah. I mean… It could be coincidence, but…"

"You should talk to her. The poor dear looks dreadfully lonely." Taweret sighed, looking even more gargantuan as she peers at the contents of the shelves pressing down around her, her cute little ears flickering back and forth.

She picked up a book on psychology, finding it suddenly terribly interesting, her eyes widening as she scans the pages faster than a human ever could.

"I will. If we're right about our assumption, then, maybe we can… I don't know…"

"Play matchmaker?" Taweret giggles.

Layla softly smiles, not paying attention to the open book in her hands as she chuckles.

"Yeah. We can play matchmaker."

"Oh, let's just see how this plays out first, m'love?" The goddess giggled.

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Layla wanders to the front of the store, two hardback romance novels in her hands and you smile as you restock some old sci-fi novels into your discount rack.

They were the kind of romance novels with the covers reminiscent of oil paintings, the pretty ones. Not the stupid photoshopped ones that are being printed nowadays.

"Find something you like?" You chuckle.

She waves the books with a wide grin, "I've actually been looking for these copies for ages. At one of the places I was working, some jerk stole them from my locker."

"Oh gods, that is horrible!" You gasp. Why would anyone steal books?! At most, those particular novels, even new, only went for a few pounds!

"I know, right! They were autographed and everything!" Layla groaned.

You felt even more offended on her behalf. If those books were autographed and authentic, they would go for actually a decent sum for a collector online...

"That's even worse than just stealing a regular copy!" You clucked.

Layla wiggled the books in her hands. "But, hey! You have hardback copies, and in very good condition. Mine were old, beat up paperbacks!"

"Well, I'm more than happy that you found them!" You grinned widely.

Layla tilted her head to the left slightly, like she had heard something from behind her, and then she looked right at you, eyeing you up and down briefly, as if she were thinking.

You quirked an eyebrow at her in concern.

"Is everything all right?" You ask.

"Hm? Oh! Yes, yes I'm okay! I just have this... thing. The ringing in my ears?" She coughs, abashed.

"Oh! You have tinnitus? I have a booklet or two on medical things that might have something in it for you if you'd like." You chirp helpfully.

Layla put her hand up, chuckling as she declined politely. "Thank you, but no, I'll be okay. It's not constant or anything like that, it's just that I got off a plane the other day and my ears popped and haven't righted themselves yet.."

"Ooooh..." You nod in understanding. "Where'd you fly in from, if you don't mind my asking?"

She smiled. "Cairo."

"That's the accent!" You gasp in realization, pointing at her.

Layla laughed when you blushed and apologized for the outburst.

"It's fine, and yes! How'd you guess?"

"I used to have an exchange student, he would come in here and buy books for his college courses all the time! He was born and raised just outside Cairo." You chuckle.

"Ohh! Interesting." Layla hummed, looking at the books in her hands.

"Hm... you mentioned you had a menu of sorts?"

"Sure!" You lead her over to one of the nooks, and hand her the laminated mini menu you had available.

Her eyebrows raised, impressed at the various items you had available.

"Oh! This is actually nice..."

"Yep! Most of it is made to order by me, so some of it'll take a bit to bake." You grin proudly.

"Oh... well in that case, is it okay if I ask you to keep me some company? If you're not busy? I don't actually have too many friends other than Steven and his... er, brothers and my... uhhh... surrogate mom, so being able to have another woman to chit-chat with would be very welcome..."

To say you were surprised at the offer was an understatement.

"Oh! Uh, sure! I don't... I don't mind!"

🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒

You and Layla clicked very well. You had similar tastes in things like reality TV, romance novels, even skincare routines.

But when she started talking about herself, is when it got interesting. It turns out she had been married to Marc at some point.

She was his ex-wife. The one he told you about.

"I imagine it's kind of awkward for you two, huh?" You remarked.

"Oh, me n Marc? Not at all! We're still good friends, it's just..." Layla set her coffee down, frowning as she tried to think of how to describe it.

"...After a while, whatever we had... like... the spark, I guess? It just... faded. Marc went through a bit of soul searching and after he did that, well..."

They weren't soulmates.

"Ah... I understand." You sighed.

"What about you?" She asked, a small sly smirk playing her lips.

"Oh! Uh... yeah. No. Nothing for me, I'm afraid." You chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Oh? Nobody special or anything like that? Never kissed someone?"

"Well, I mean, when I was in highschool I kissed a girl on a dare." You sip your own coffee.

"A girl?" Her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"Yeah, to be honest I'm not sure what kind of preference I have, because I've never really been attracted to anyone before, but it was... weird. Didn't feel like everyone talked it up to be."

"Ah... so... are you waiting for your soulmate, then?" Layla asked a bit tightly.

"Yeah... I know it's stupid, but..." You say, looking down at the mug in your hands.

"Not really. Who doesn't want to meet the one person that is your other half?" She said, smiling softly in sympathy.

Her finger traced the rim of her cup idly, trying to think of the best way to go about phrasing the next question without being obvious about her suspicions.

"Do you... have any ideas of who it might be?" She finally asked.

You shake your head and shrug. "D'nno. I don't know if it's a man or a woman or... well anybody, really. I don't know what it's supposed to feel like once you meet your soulmate because each bond is different so..."

Layla wanted to scream. She wanted to facepalm, she wanted to smack her head on the table. She wanted to splash her coffee into her face.

Taweret was giggling like mad.

"Not as easy as you assumed it was going to be, eh Little One?" The goddess smiled behind her hand at Layla.

Her eyebrow twitched, knowing full well she couldn't retort without looking insane or revealing her position as Taweret's avatar.

You had to be Marc's (and possibly Steven's and Jake's) soulmate. It was all just too coincidental for her liking.

"Oh! That's... well I hope they're close by!" Layla said, forcing a very strained smile.

How could you and Marc be this thick?!

That fact alone had to mean something.

"That's everyone's hope, isn't it?" You chuckled softly, a small fond smile on your face, a glimmer of sadness in your eyes.

Layla felt sympathy for you in the moment, realizing how terribly lonely you must be feeling. And how much pain.

Especially with Marc and the others doing Khonshu's will.

Taweret seemed to pick the thought out of thin air, so in tune with Layla she could tell by the flash in her eyes what she was thinking about.

"Ohhh! That bloody old bone-head!" She huffed, her nostrils flaring as she crossed her arms, her bottom lip poking out from beneath her muzzle.

"He needs to give those poor boys a break! Especially because whatever happens to them, happens to her!" She gestured to you with her big, yet gentle hands.

Layla cleared her throat.

"Well, uh.... since I've told you about me... why don't you tell me about you? Where were you born, stuff like that?" Layla asked you, still smiling.

"Oh! Me? I'm afraid it's not very interesting." You chuckled dryly.

Layla looked outside as the rain came down in sheets. Not very appealing to walk back to the boys' flat in this weather... especially not for her hair.

"It looks like I've got time, love. Go ahead! We can have some more drinks while we chat."

You smiled a bit wider.

It was nice to have a girl-friend to talk with, again.

🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒

When Steven had woken up, Layla was gone, and Marc and Jake left Steven quite alone in the body, letting him front entirely for the day. She'd left a note on Gus and Co's tank saying she went out for a bit for some fresh air.

Which, quite frankly, Marc said was bullshit because of the weather. Layla wouldn't go out in a monsoon and risk her hair becoming an unmanageable spongy mop that would take forever to dry, unless she was going somewhere very specific.

It was one of the things she complained about the most when they were together, something he thought was amusing. He remembered one time they got caught in a rain after their wedding, and at the hotel she was fussing and muttering under her breath as her wet curls hung over her face, desperately trying to get the dripping mass of hair to dry, glaring at herself in the mirror.

Steven sighed, and made his morning cup of tea and went about his routine. He dusted some, and decided to slip on his apron and play with some recipes he'd found online.

The apron was a bit... "dinky" as Marc had called it. Jake apparently ordered it online when he saw the slightly cartoon'd Egyptian motifs on it and left it as a present for Steven, since his favorite thing to do other than read was to cook (and he was a major Egyptophile).

When he was finished, he'd placed the extra portions in a small container in the fridge for Layla when she returned, in case she was hungry.

Then, he sat down, ate, and read a book while he played some music over the cheap sound system Marc installed.

When Layla returned, she was... dry. Remarkably dry. Her hair was still perky and everything!

She apparently bought an umbrella while she was out, placing it in the holder so no excess water dripped on the floor.

"Ah! Hey Steven." She chuckled, walking up and kissing his cheek, knocking his glasses off to the side as she did, placing her bag on the little table nearby.

"How'd you know?" Steven chuckled, adjusting his glasses as he looked up at her.

"Well, aside from the fact you're hunched over like a goblin over a book... the flat smells wonderful. You've obviously been cooking. Not Marc." She grinned.

"Ha!" Steven giggled.

Layla hummed as she set her new purchases on the table, folding the little canvas bag neatly.

Steven's eyebrows shot up when he saw the books.

"Where were you..?" He asked, clearing his throat.

"Oh, y'know... exploring. Went out for a tea..." She grinned at him out of the corner of her still ridiculously beautiful eyes.

"Visited that bookstore you 'n Marc told me about."

Steven fidgeted in his seat.

"O-oh..."

"Mhmm." She tapped her nails on the books' hard covers; she then turned around and crossed her arms, still grinning as she leaned her hips on the table.

"....Why are you looking at me like that? And where did you get that umbrella..?"

"Oh, well..." She shrugged, sighing a bit dramatically, looking elsewhere in the flat for dramatic effect.

She looked back at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Your little girlfriend who owns the bookstore. She really is a sweetheart, she let me borrow it while I'm in town."

"Bloody hell! Layla! It's not like that at all--" Steven sputtered, almost dropping the book in his hand.

She started cackling madly, walking into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator.

"Ooh! What'dja make?"

Steven made a noise, burying his face in his hands as he tried to hide the faint blush that crept up his face and set up shop in the tips of his ears, knocking his glasses up to his forehead.

"Bloody hell!" He groaned into his palms.

🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒

Chapter 6: Link

#A Rose Under The Moon #moon knight x reader #marc spector x you #marc spector x reader #marc spector #steven grant x you #steven grant x reader #steven grant #jake lockley x you #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley #layla el faouly #soulmate au

[u2fangirlie-blog]

Good Omens Crowley and Aziraphale Reunited Playlist

In anticipation of Good Omens Season 3, here’s the “Crowley and Aziraphale Reunited and It Feels So Good Playlist.” We know our favorite demon and angel will be reunited. Take heart, have faith, and keep hope. Crowley and Aziraphale will be together again, like chocolate and peanut butter. This is music Maggie and Nina would put together in a playlist for a party celebrating the Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. The songs are about friendship and love.

How ever you as a fan define the love they share – eros, philia, or agape - we know Crowley and Aziraphale love each other. In the Good Omens universe, angels and demons are sexless and genderless. However, they can have genders and sex body parts if they want to. They can be sexual, asexual, binary, nonbinary, romantic, aromantic, hetero, homo, bi, pan. They can be any expression of the spectrum of identities and orientations. Above all else, they can love each other.

Maggie, Nina, Aziraphale, and Crowley are going to sing a karaoke version of “That’s What Friends Are For” at the party.

Please enjoy this unashamedly, unapologetically romantic, silly, sentimental, and sugary playlist (with extra cheesy goodness).

See note after list on song the selection process.

Songs include:

“You’re My Best Friend” – Queen

“Let’s Stay Together” – Al Green

“For Once in My Life” – Stevie Wonder

“Reunited” – Peaches and Herb

“Love and Happiness” – Al Green

“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” – Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

“That’s What Friends Are For” – Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Gladys Knight, and Stevie Wonder

“I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” – Aretha Franklin and George Michael

“Can’t Fight this Feeling” – REO Speedwagon

“Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper

“I’ll Be There” – Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz version

“I’ll Stand by You” – The Pretenders

“I Say a Little Prayer” – Aretha Franklin

“I Honestly Love You” – Olivia Newton John

“God Only Knows” – The Beach Boys

“Don’t Let Me Down” – The Beatles

“Just the Two of Us” – Grover Washington, Jr., ft. Bill Withers

“Just the Way You Are” – Billy Joel

“Your Song” – Elton John

“How Deep is Your Love” – The Bee Gees

“The Air that I Breathe” – K.D. Lang version

“Time in a Bottle” – Jim Croce

“Up Where We Belong” – Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

“Islands in the Stream” – Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

“Endless Love” – Diana Ross and Lionel Richie

“Almost Paradise” – Mike Reno and Ann Wilson

“Leather and Lace” – Stevie Nicks and Don Henley

“Feels Like Home” – Bonnie Raitt

“In Your Eyes” – Peter Gabriel

“I Want to Know What Love Is” – Foreigner

“Never Tear Us Apart” – INXS

“Eternal Flame” – The Bangles

“Heaven is a Place on Earth” – Belinda Carlisle

“Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina and The Waves

“Never Gonna Give You Up” – Rick Astley

“Everlasting Love” – U2 version

“[I Can’t Help] Falling in Love with You” – UB40 version

“Let’s Get It On” – Marvin Gaye

P.S.: Aziraphale secretly loves romantic duets and rock ballads. He wouldn’t admit it because his personality is classical music. However, he longs to sing karaoke duets with Crowley. “Reunited,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me),” “I’ll Be There,” “Don’t Let Me Down,” “Up Where We Belong,” “Islands in the Stream,” “Endless Love,” “Almost Paradise,” and “Leather and Lace.”

P.P.S.: “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Crowley unironically loves this song, but he invented “Rickrolling,” so Rick Astley would get paid more in song royalties. Who’s laughing now?

P.P.P.S.: “Let’s Get It On.” Crowley has experienced all the infinite varieties of human, demonic, angelic, and supernatural being sexuality and intimacy. Like various “sins” thought up by humans (without demonic influence), he has taken credit for inventing some of the more fun, creative intimate activities. He consulted on the artwork in the Kama Sutra. Crowley secretly wants to snuggle under the blankets with Aziraphale on cold rainy days, but he would never admit it because it would ruin his reputation.

Note on song selection:

Yes, the playlist is exclusively classic pop and rock songs. I’m a Gen Xer. David Tennant and Michael Sheen are Gen Xers. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett are Boomers. This is the music I grew up listening to. These songs make me feel good. They don’t write songs like this anymore. I’m a cool college English teacher. My job is to corrupt the youth of the nation. Ms. Myers is going to expose you to culture. I’m a cool spinster aunt. Auntie Amy is gonna learn you about oldies music. I selected songs that thematically fit with the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. Listen to the lyrics. They fit. The list flows. You may not like my choices, so your mileage may vary. You can make your own playlist.

You can listen to it on YouTube.

#neil gaiman #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #aziraphale #crowley #playlist #reunited playlist #classic love songs

[httyddragonfox]

Proof of Sexuality

I've noticed something quite recently (I know, I'm an idiot), but to display someone's sexuality, you usually need some form of proof.

Let us look at two liberal displays of the LGBTQA+: Hellaverse and The Owl House.

To display that Luz was bisexual she displayed interest in both boys and girls, Eda talked about ex-boyfriends and has an old flame in a trans/non-binary person. Other than that we have word of god for the unclear stuff.

In Hellaverse (Hazbin hotel and Helluva boss) we have Moxxie who is married to a woman and has an ex-boyfriend, Blitz is interested in both Moxxie and Millie, having sexual relationships with a man, a childhood guy friend he had a crush on, and an ex-girlfriend. Someone in Hazbin declared Alastor as Ace and he has no interest in sexual relations, and Charlie is a relationship with Vaggie as well as the fact she has an ex-boyfriend.

Why haven't I mentioned Amity and Angeldust, it's because they're freaking obvious. The proof of homosexuals is just not showing interest in the other gender.

When it comes to hetero or homo-sexuals, the identity can be seen very early: Straight is pretty normal and Homosexuals only get crushes on their gender.

When it comes to all the other sexualities that identity gets identified in the teenage and early adult years. Here are a few personal examples:

Asexuality is a distinct lack of proof of striaghtness: For me, it was not understanding the whole sexual feelings thing, and then realizing normal people actually have that. That I discovered in early university.

For Bi-sexuality or Pan-sexuality (very similar) you need proof of liking the other gender or more than one: My friend discovered she was Bi after high-school. I asked her how she knew (She was dating a man who she eventually married, she dated boys in the past), technically I asked her if she was attracted to any girls. She said she found one girl attractive, so I took her word for it.

A classmate I knew of complained on how she wasn't allowed to be gay, but she ended up having a baby and dating guys. I think maybe she didn't know bi was a thing.

As for my grey romanticism: I've had only a few (three) genuine crushes in my life whilst my sister had enough crushes to count with two hands.

In fiction: homosexuals are obvious (only interest in one gender), bisexuals need proof (attraction or exes), other than that you're straight.

Asexuals are hard to label, usually it requires Word of God. Lillith is Aroace, because she never gets a partner and Dana said so, but without Word of God, we don't know she's ace, she might just be married to her work. Alastor is AroAce according to Word of God. Before episode seven of Hazbin Hotel that's all we had, and his distinct lack of sexual interest. That didn't stop the shippers who said, "he might not like sex, but romance isn't off the table." Those who didn't hear word of god must be thinking, "He might not like sex, but he'll do it with the one he loves." In episode seven, Rosie specifically calls him an "Ace in the hole," joking about a relationship with Charlie. So that would mean that sex and romance are off the table, but "she just said ace, not Aro." Word of God, you can't stop the shippers.

Another Word of God instance is Hunter and Willow's sexulaities ("Hunter is Bi and Willow is Pan"). Hunter has only liked one person in his life, and that's Willow, we don't have proof on screen that he had interest in other genders. Willow ever only showed interest in Hunter in the show (Maybe Luz, that's up for debate). People are upset that there is no proof of their Word of God sexualities in the show, because it looks like a straight ship and Dana's placating. Meanwhile, some people are happy with the LGBTQA ship that looks straight because those exist. Others wish to ship their homo ships, others wish to ship Lunter (even though when they met she already had interest in Amity), and other people complain that Huntlow is forced together just to have a straight ship and pair the spares and all their other complaints.

Without the proof of Hunter and Willow liking other genders, they might as well be straight, and that makes people upset. Fanfic writers try to remedy this by writing instances where they realize they like more than one gender, but that just goes to show...

In order to identify as this sexuality, you need the proof of liking what they dictate, or people won't believe the claims.

#analysis #sexuality #lgbtqa+ #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #the owl house #luz noceda #vaggie #angel dust #amity blight #hazbin alastor #eda clawthorne #toh hunter #willow toh #bisexuality #homosexual #heterosexual #pansexual #hunter is bi #willow is pan #word of god #dana terrace #vivziepop #lillith clawthorne #homo shipping #huntlow

[doberbutts]

That post of yours also makes me think of how much exclusionist rhetoric is centered around the assumption that, for example, only people who are gay or lesbian are ever impacted by homophobia. That kind of thinking is not only incorrect, but also gives way too much credit to homophobes who do not, it turns out, have a nuanced and informed view of sexuality and gender.

Homophobes don't think in terms of "we are cis and allo and straight, and this other group is made up of people who are gay, pan, bi, ace, aro, trans, nonbinary, intersex, and any other number of labels under the queer umbrella". They think in terms of "we are normal and good, and this other group is different and bad."

I recall that one incident about the parents who kicked their asexual teenage son out of their home because they thought he was gay, and tons of exclusionists were insisting, "No, no, this isn't aphobia, this isn't discriminating against asexual people, this is misdirected homophobia, gay people are still the only ones being oppressed." Like, okay buddy, call it whatever you want, but this asexual teenager is still homeless now.

The sort of people who commit these hate crimes think in such rigidly binary terms. That man is attracted to men? It doesn't matter that he's also attracted to women, he's gay. That man doesn't want to have sex with women? It doesn't matter that he doesn't want to have sex with men either, he's gay. Oh, that man IS dating and having sex exclusively with a woman, but that woman was assigned male at birth? Gay. They're all gay, and we must hate them all for it.

Exclusionists will claim that ace people or bi people or trans people who don't medically transition or who are non-dysphoric aren't queer enough to be in queer spaces, don't face the same level of oppression, and meanwhile homophobes are more than happy to hate crime anyone who doesn't fit their narrow definitions of what is acceptable. The people who are beating up a man for being gay aren't going to stop upon being informed he's actually polysexual. They'll say "close enough" and continue beating him up.

Exactly. But then again many of these people refuse to consider a different perspective than their own.

I have an ace friend who, due to her solid lack of interest in men [or anyone] was assumed to be a lesbian by her boss. Her boss who turned out to be a sexual predator and preyed on three different female coworkers about her age [read: significantly younger than him] and was eventually fired for it. Her boss that, when she revealed she was dating a man at the time, admitted he had considered pursuing her as well but was discouraged by her lack of attraction and if he had known she could be "turned" he would have struck while the iron was hot, so to speak.

Is that not a combination of lesbiphobia, misogyny, acephobia, toxic masculinity? That he wanted this girl young enough to be his grand daughter to the point that he thought he could bully his way into her bed after seeing that she was not interested in being pursued? It doesn't matter that he was wrong about her being a lesbian. It doesn't matter that she could have just as easily been with a woman instead of a man. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any understanding of the concept of asexuality. Here was a young woman who *could potentially* be swayed by power dynamics and/or alcohol, and thus she was added to his list of potential conquests.

Her identity, her feelings, her emotions, her life doesn't matter. What matters is that he was a predator and she was highlighted as possible prey the second he thought he might be able to convince her to accept his magic Dick Of Turning.

How do I know all this? He was my boss too. And I saw firsthand some of the things he did. Thankfully, as said, he was eventually caught in the act and fired for it, but not before he terrorized multiple female employees.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @lqtraintracks.

I got into fandom a long, long time ago, way back before I found HP in 2012. My early days in another fandom (days meaning years) are not a time I want to revisit, even though it started out really good. I got to explore my sexuality for the very first time there. I met my first gf there. And those things were beautiful, for sure; they were just short-lived. After a couple of years, I met an abuser, and from then on my fandom life was predetermined by them—what I could and couldn’t read, could and couldn’t write, who I could and couldn’t form friendships with, etc. And even in the midst of that, there were those friendships that bolstered me. @elrhiarhodan, I’m looking at you.

But after 13 ½ years of that… I found HP. And I found a wonderful person who would change my life. I met Shelly / @unmistakablyoatmeal. For the first time in a very long time, I saw someone writing queerly and freely, who, far from being limited to one pairing for life, was writing all kinds of pairings (and threesomes), dynamics, and stories! I was so powerfully drawn to that freedom, and to her, and in no small way, she and this fandom are why I survived, and how I escaped and started to change my life and reclaim it as my own. 

I’ve met so many wonderful people here, many of whom have become close friends, my best friends. I’ve been writing all the queer smut my little queer heart has desired for many years now, and it’s been beyond amazing.

But something changed for us a few years ago, and our community hasn’t been the same since. The person who wrote the canon turned on us. She revealed herself to be all kinds of monstrous. 

There were clues, of course—the antisemitism inherent in her Goblins, the fat phobia, the queer baiting without any actual rep, the racism and ignorance shown in naming Cho Chang, etc. We knew but maybe we didn’t want to know. And being white and not Jewish, I lived under an umbrella of privilege that meant I didn’t have to see it until other people began pointing these things out to me.

But then the transphobia started. And kept going. And it became her platform. And it got worse, and worse, and fucking worse

As painful and horrific as that has been, it seems to have done what that sort of vile bigotry has always done though: It’s shown us that we are and will always be stronger, wiser, more loving, and ultimately undefeatable. I’ll speak for myself: I wasn’t writing trans characters before. I was afraid I’d get it wrong. JKR’s evil bullshit is what pushed me to get over myself. 

This fandom is where I have learned the most about the queer community I love. It’s where I’ve truly learned to write. And it’s where I’ve learned about facets of queer life I’d never connected to properly before out of the fear of trying. 

Here’s what I’ve learned: Bloody no one comes together like we do! No one supports one another like we do! We’ve forged a stronger bond because of some terf’s hate, and I feel closer to my fellow queer creators than ever.

This fandom, you beautiful people, have taught me so much, continue to teach me so much. I’m honored to share this space with you. Happy Pride to all you gorgeous people being your trans, nb, fluid, ace, bi, pan, poly, intersex, queer, powerful selves.  Thank you from the bottom of my little queer heart. I love you.

Thank you, LQ, for joining me in the Library. I love your declaration of fandom as ours, and the recognition that we are a stronger community because of what we've overcome. Thank you for celebrating Pride in the Library with me.

If you want more @lqtraintracks be sure to check out their work on AO3! I just finished reading her Phoenix in the Fire and I was hooked the whole time! I couldn't stop until I'd devoured the whole thing. I think you'll be just as hooked as I was. I also want to throw in how much I loved A Strapping Young Man - I loved reading about Harry's desire for Draco, and how Harry's desire is bolstered by Draco's confidence.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

#pride 2023 #pride in the library #pride in the library 2023 #lots of love and happy pride #friends of the library #fandom community #lqtraintracks

[nerves-nebula]

For years ive kind of favored demisexual/demiromantic above bi/pan to refer to myself because tbh it’s just more accurate. The way I’m attracted to people is nearly unrelated to gender. I could probably make a dozen things more important to me than the gender or physical appearance of my partner.

Gender presentation only matters so far as if someone is openly visibly queer I’m more interested because I know we might be thr same. But if it turns out they’re a shit person what does it matter what they look like. And like, I’m not interested romantically? I never deeply desired a relationship just from looking at someone, at most I just want to see more of you if I like being around you :/

I described my romantic feelings to a friend once as basically just being friendship but with more intimacy than a typical friendship and more of your life intertwined and he was like “that’s absolutely not what romantic feelings are they’re way different from friendship” and I’m beginning to think I might just be aromatic/asexual entirely, not demi. and i haven’t been able to tell because i deeply yearn for intimacy and I’m a bit possessive and so I figured that must mean I want romance or something.

But I’ve never had a crush. And I love my girlfriend but I probably couldn’t tell you the difference between my relationship with her and having a really close friend- because she’s my best friend! I adore her, but I never needed her to be in love with me. I never need sex or even really romance. We’ve been on one “date” to see sonic 2, and mostly we just hang out like we always have just with occasional kissing and some sexual activity. My ideal relationship has always been being best friends and deciding to intertwine your lives, which is basically what happened, and I knew that would always be seen as romantic to outsiders so I didn’t realize until recently that like… there’s no specifically romantic feelings here??? It’s just closeness? Intimacy? And I can easily see myself developing this kind of closeness with any of my friends if they do desired??

Anyway I think it’s time I stopped kidding myself. I’m not Demi, I just have really high standards about who I keep around in my life and get close to in general. My standards for friends and partners are exactly the same because there isn’t much of a difference when it comes to who I want present in my life.

I don’t catch feelings when I’m close to someone, I just get relaxed around them, which feels nice and so I equated it with romantic emotions. But once I got more friends I realized that warm fuzzy feeling wasn’t romantic attraction!! Because im aromantic!!!!

I guess it’s pretty cliche to come out during pride month but in my defense I didn’t realize this until i wrote this post. I was supposed to be musing on why I prefer demi to other labels and basically just talked myself into identifying as aromantic. Oops.

I’m probably also asexual but I already basically knew that.

#nnstuff #aspec #arospec #aromantic #pride

[metanoiamorii]

Looking for Roleplay Partners

I'm Morri, or Mario. I'm twenty-three [23] and I've been roleplaying on and off for as long as I can remember. It's gone hand-in-hand with writing. It's around time I try to start to meet new roleplay partners and expand my network again. I was previously on Wattpad before it met its timely end for most of us. I moved to discord but it went quiet and I have only been in a small circle since. What to expect and know from me? I am honestly bad at replying steadily, but I am ALWAYS talking about the roleplays and making ideas and headcanons with my partner(s). I will reply with lengthy messages for a week, then struggle to form a basic response for a few weeks, then the cycle continues. But I am always dedicated to the roleplay(s) I am in, even if I struggle to show it. I'm also extremely literate. I will give you novella-length responses. I can't do small responses even if I tried, to ask any of my roleplay partners. But I don't expect anyone to match my length! I just ask to not be given one or two sentences to work off of. I LOVE knowing what is going on inside a character's head, or how they're feeling. It really helps to build everything up. I also do third-person only.

And I also ask for 18+ only, please. I feel awkward talking to minors unless it's to basically mentor them.

I also love tropes. Tropes are great. Especially if you break away and add twists to them, and get creative!

I play a vast array of characters. Almost all ocs. The only ones that aren't ocs are based on gods or divine beings. Either way, all my characters are queer, that explore different mental illnesses and backgrounds. I could not play a character that's cishet to save my life(no hate for anyone, it's just something I have struggled with). That's not to say I don't do m/w relationships, because I do. My characters are just not cishet (they're either bi/ace/pan/demi/enby/etc).

I also enjoy mature themes. But I ALWAYS discuss boundaries with my roleplay partners. The dos, the don'ts, the boundaries, the triggers, the likes. A lot of my focus is on fantasy, for the most part. Dark, romantic, historical, epic, horror, you name it. I overall enjoy just about anything? EXCEPT, I stay in my comfort zone. Which is one of the two universes I've world built into existence.

The first is entirely fantasy, with different realms/worlds to explore. A vast array of plotlines to explore. Crime/mafia, piracy, eldritch horrors, kingdom diplomacy, witches. You name it, I have it. Probably too much. I've been told it's overwhelming when I gain a new roleplaying partner.

The other is one I've just recently started to build. It's a bit like POJ and Everafter High met. A bit of fantasy, a bit of history, a bit of religion. Every character is either a demigod, a god, a divine being, a fae, a human, or another being...

It's going on late for me after being awake for seventeen hours, so I'm not doing a lot of justice for my stuff. But I really want more roleplaying partners and friends! I have cute little servers for both universes, building into small communities. And I also have adjacent servers for the novels I'm writing that deal with the plotlines and whatnot.

I don't know what else to say at the moment except please, please, please I am begging you to message me. We can talk here in dms and I'll send you, or you can send me your discord tag so we can move over there and start to plot! I should probably get to bed now. Thank you for reading this far.

#discord rp #discord roleplay #roleplay partner wanted #roleplay partner search #roleplay partner ad #roleplay partner needed #roleplay partner finder #rp partner wanted #rp partner search #rp partner needed #rp partner ad #rp partner finder #discord roleplaying #discord roleplayer #oc rp #oc roleplayer #rp wanted #group roleplay #roleplay community #mature rp #literate rp #literate roleplay #semi literate rp #semi lit rp #semi literate roleplay #fandomless rp #original rp #original roleplay #oc roleplay

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. hi, in the mood for wangxian university au that contains homophobia ^^ in the mood for those realistic pain that i can relate to as someone who lives in a conservative asian country :') thank u!!

Syncopation by Nyatci (E, 13k, WIP, WangXian, WWX/WX, College/University, Singer WWX, Friends With Benefits WWX/WX, Good Guy WX, Exes Wangxian, Exes to Lovers, WangXian Endgame, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, lots of flashbacks, Non-Linear Narrative) might be a good fic - for now it's only 1 chapter, so it's hard to say, but still.

(I should’ve known) I always knew by ilip13 (E, 58k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Misunderstandings, Unreliable Narrator, Sexuality Crisis, Friends to Lovers, First Time, Developing Relationship, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, POV WWX, Please read the author's note for more info, Eventual Happy Ending, Gray-Asexuality, Demisexuality, Masturbation, Dom/sub Undertones, Rape Fantasy, Anal Fingering, Barebacking) and its companion fic

Pan - We're queer here! Series by IBurbick (E, 158k, WangXian, NieLan, 3Zun, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Modern AU, Everyone lives, Everyone Is Gay, Because it's a queer café, cooking magic, Homophobia, Food Porn, Eventual Smut, Mental Breakdown, Dissociative Episode, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Music Theory, Verbal Fight, Fist Fight, supportive friends, Bullying, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Adoptions, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Mutual Pining) is a Modern Coffee Shops & Cafés AU that might contain some of what you want; LXC’s vegan café is a beloved neighborhood hub for the queer community, but also a target for homophobes.

~*~

2. Hello! Could you please help me find fics where WWX and LWJ receive each other's injuries and killing one would kill the other, ala Love Between Fairy And Devil? I know this is sometimes a soulmate au trope so I looked through your Soulmate comp and I did find one that I loved: Nothing You Confess by Porcupine Girl (LWJ feels it when WWX loses his golden core). Can you think of any others where they share/feel injuries? Thank you so much!!

Side By Side Suicide by scifigeek14 (T, 2k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Character Death, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, Non-Graphic Violence, Angst, Not A Fix-It, Unhappy Ending) I have one of my fics for number 2. but warning cus its NOT happy. They dead.

🧡 Talking is Better than Silence by blackcatkuroi, KuroiWrites (blackcatkuroi) (T, 227k, WIP, WangXian, XiChengQing, Communication, Fluff and Angst, What-If, Canon Divergence, Resentful Energy is a Thing, Musical Cultivation gets Center Stage, Honesty, Myth Making in Action, Soulmates, Cultivation Healing is Expanded, Lore Creation Story, Completed and Regular Updates, Any Rated E for Extra Sexy scenes posted as separate CODA chapters)

Lovescars by ardenrabbit (M, 62k, WangXian, JC & WWX, demi lwj, Bi WWX, aroace jc, Self-Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Multiple, Blood and Injury, PTSD, roughly follows the nove, lAngst with a Happy Ending, Canon Parallel)

The Price of Forever by Witch_Nova221 (T, 22k, WangXian, NieLan, XuanLi, Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, Magic, references to still birth, References to Child Loss, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Murder, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Happy Ending, Found Family, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers)

Sunder by naqaashi (E, 32k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Mutual Pining, Emotional Sex, Porn with Feelings, PWP, Light BDSM, Fix-It, POV LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Light Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal Thoughts) it is super angsty, but I promise it has a happy ending!

~*~

3. I'm in a mood for ace spectrum wangxian, either one or both! I'd like them to be sex positive or neutral but won't mind sex repulsed either.

#1 in this post has some ace spectrum fics you might like ^^

💖Let Them Eat Cake by Vamillepudding (G, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Light Angst, Asexual Relationship, Getting Together)

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Developing Relationship, Modern AU, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr's a+ parenting, references to jfm's a+ parenting, references to yzy's a+ parenting, bottom LWJ in chapter 15)

your touch in the dark (your voice in the silence) by beesinspades (M, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Busker!WWX, Musician!LWJ, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Strangers to Friends With Benefits to Lovers, Happy Ending, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Asexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ)

~*~

4. hello <3 for in the mood for, may i ask for fics like in stunted, starving juvinility, in that Lan Qiren actually develops a bias TOWARDS wwx, maybe even dotes on him a little? that would be amazing askdjkfd

Accidental Uncle Acquisition Series by deliciousblizzardshark (G/T, 13k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Kid Fic, Soft WangXian, Matchmaking, Fluff and Humor)

The Untamed: For the Love of Two Boys by YenGirl (Not Rated, 181k, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, 3Zun, LQR/SiSi, Single minded LZ, Caring WY, Supportive lxc, Supportive LQR, Prickly JC, Sweet JYL, Good JZX (Peacock), Badass WQ, Cinnamon roll WN, adorable a-yuan, Supportive NMJ, Redeemed JGY, Evil JGS, Supportive Madam Jin, Evil XY, Rescued SS, Supportive Lan Healer OC, Accupuncture, Golden Core Reveal, Yunmeng sibs reconciliation, Implied mpreg jokes) I think he gains a bias in this one it's been a while since I read it

藍色的花，紅色的蘭 {Lan se de hua, hongse de lan} by Admiranda, AshayaTReldai (M, 45k, WIP, WangXian, Orphan WWX, Friends to Lovers, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Childhood Friends, softer lqr, Good Uncle LQR, Good lan clan, Good Older Sibling LXC) Lan Qiren adopts WWX as a child in Yiling initially out of need to repay a life debt, but comes to love him in his own right over time.

Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, wangxian, time travel, canon divergence, fix it, not YZY friendly, not Jiang friendly, butterfly effect, no sunshot, madam lan lives, lan WWX) WWX gets kind of adopted by LQR

~*~

5. Dear mods, I hope all of you are doing fine these days. Also, I have come again with an interesting request. For the next ITMF, are there any fic with playboy LWJ. And with that, this humble thank you

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation)

~*~

6. For the next ITMF post: We are deliberately told next to nothing about Mo Xuanyu in canon. I’d like to read some good fics that flesh out his life in the period before the Sacrifice Summon—growing up in Mo Manor, adjusting to the Jin Sect (and his father), returning to Mo Manor, etc. and so forth. Can be any sort of POV or characterization of him, just interested to see what people have come up with.

Too gone to stay by Aenya (T, 31k, WangXian, WWX-centric, Canonical Character Death, in non-canonical ways, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death REVERSAL, Canon-Typical Violence, novel canon, Pre-Relationship, Happy Ending) has some backstory for mxy, although it’s set in an AU

~*~

7. Hey! This is an IITMF request.

Fics where so many people have crush on / like WWX. (Bonus if the fic is from their pov)

- LWJ being a vinegar jug. @utxqia

~*~

8. Hi!!! I read most of the fics of xuexiao on ao3 and now I want to ask if anyone knows any good fics that aren't on ao3? Prefer it to be a happy ending for xuexiao and not have xuexiaosong or songxiao. I don't mind it to be a little dark or manipulative but I don't want their relationship to be completely toxic / one-sided or forced in anyway. Thank you~~

~*~

9. hiii i’ve never done this before so forgive my mistakes… i think this is how this is done… for the next ‘in the mood for’ post, could you guys find fics where the Lans are protective of WWX? Either post-resurrection or a canon divergence where wwx comes to the Lan sect early pre-sunshot, im not picky… thanks in advance!!

Life Series by scifigeek14 (T, 65k, WangXian, Weddings, Shotgun Wedding, (But not cus of a baby because of politics), Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, POV Alternating, POV Third Person Limited, Devotion, Feelings Realization, Family Feels, Politics, Golden Core Reveal, Marriage Proposal, Marriage of Convenience)

What Becomes of the Melting Snow? Series by Admiranda (T, 7k, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Supportive LXC, lxc putting in his character development, Supportive Sibling LXC) is a work in progress series where post canon Lan Xichen puts in a lot of character development and drags his clan along the way to become good to WWX.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (G, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, POV Outsider, 5+1 Things) also 9 is a fic about many members of the Lan Clan protecting WWX

🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 43k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU) (link in #16)

~*~

10. This might be a weird ask, but I want a Wangxian fic that also has Jiang Cheng getting some sort of happiness or a Yunmeng sibling reconciliation

there's the Yunmeng Bros reconciliation comp

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Road trips, rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Conversations, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, [Podfic] some good mistakes by kisahawklin)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL, [PODFIC] Rotten Work by sakizar)

Living by WithBroomBefore (G, 15k, WangXian, JC & JYL & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, POV LWJ, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Family Feels, Crying, Suicide Attempt, just the one though, Healing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

Regrets by antebunny (G, 37k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Time Travel, Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Descriptions of Love, and other squishy feeling, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Pre-Slash, canon-typical corpse desecration, Questionable approach to cutivation, Cultivation Sect Politics, Fix-It of Sorts, canon typical genocide mention, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

maybe you'll take the long way home by surething (T, 25k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Tenderness, Yearning, Character Study, Introspection, fun uncle wwx, bitch boy lwj, Found Family)

~*~

11. For the next itmf I was wondering if you had any 3zun fics where JGY gets severely injured when NMJ kicks him down the stairs? I would prefer novel canon over CQL canon but I’m okay with anything. Thanks!

Different Paths to the Same Route by JustAWanderingBabbit (T, 184k, jjin guangyao & lan xichen & nie mingjue, 3zun, lan wangji & wei wuxian, canon divergence: AQ becomes XXC and SL’s first disciple)

Dream of the Gold Chamber by JustAWanderingBabbit (T, 8k, Implied 3Zun, Referenced canonical incest, canon violence, Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Dream a Little Dream, XY is a turd, He might still be redeemable, JGS is not redeemable.)

Jin Guangyao + Chronic Pain Series by crypticidentity (Varied, 15k, XiYao, HuaiYao, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Chronic pain, Hurt no Comfort, Fluff, POV JGY, JGY-Centric)

angstymdzsthoughts post may yield further fics

~*~

12. Wei ying gets 33 lashes

~*~

13. I can't remember if this has been asked before, but I love a good time loop/Groundhog Day fic. I remember one with LWJ stuck in a loop where WWX always ends up dead, and I feel like I read one once where JC was the one stuck in a loop, but there have to be more than that, right? Any from WWX's point of view? Someone else? Thanks for your help!

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon)

~*~

14 Hi! For the next in the mood for post, do you have some fics where wwx has a complete meltdown that everybody wants him for something or blames him for smg and he's just like fuck you all, screams it out and leave the sects to be? Thank you so much, you guys are awesome!

Fuck This Shit, I'm Out!!!!! by WiFi_Stalker (Not Rated, 6k, WIP, WangXian, XianQing (platonic), Canon Divergence, A-Yuan time travels, Oblivious WWX, pining LWJ, BAMF WWX, not for jc fans)

Enough! by Jeeny271196 (Not Rated, 5k, WIP, WangXian, Gūsū Lán Sect Bashing, Jiāng Family Bashing, JC Bashing, LXC Bashing, BAMF WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics)

~*~

15. ITMF Lan Wangji wielding Suibian or WWX wielding Bichen in battle (or walking around a conference or something), and them shocking the polite cultivation world for it. Thank you for any suggestions you can give!

when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, sharing clothes, sharing a bed, fix-it, golden core transfer) sadly i barely have anything to contribute to the latest itmf except for one (questionable?) rec for 15. Has one (cool) scene of wwx wielding bichen.

~*~

16. ah hello wonderful mods!! I am interested in any and all fics that have a scene of wangxian running into each other's arms (kind of like the canon scene of wwx jumping from the tree into lwj's arms). thank you for your hard work!! @yourancestorsarefrowning

🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 43k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

❤️ The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (T, 20k, wangxian, In-Universe RPF, Romance Novel, Post-Canon Fix-It, primarily drama-canon with cameos from novel-canon, The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea))

~*~

17. i'm curious if there are any fics where nobody (or mostly nobdy) knows the yiling patriarch and wei wuxian are the same person? thank you

only the dead (have seen the end of war) by comforting_monachopsis (T, 42k, WangXian, Temporary Amnesia, BAMF WWX, Sad LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Mild Gore, Medical Inaccuracies, Secret Identity, Loss of Identity, Identity Porn, The Science of Cultivation, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Angst and Humor, Crossdressing, WWX is Bad at Feelings) is a great fic where even wei ying himself forgets who he is after coming out of the burial mounds, and wears a mask so no one recognizes him.

my life's journey is far from over by thelastdboy (E, 148k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Post-Sunshot Campaign, POV WWX, Slow Burn, YLLZ WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU but not too modern™, mlm/wlw solidarity, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Single Parent WWX, Selectively Mute LWJ, Eventual Smut, Light Dom/sub) It's the second fic in a series but can be read alone (totally recommend both, though!) And it's more the aftermath of the war. WWX struggles sometimes with being alive, so proceed with caution if necessary.

Imperfect Memory by xantissa (E, 61k, WangXian, dub con, Dark FantasyAU, double identity porn, sub!LWJ, Drama, Forced Orgasm, tiny bit of blood play, Prostate Massage, D/s themes, Falling In Love, mature LWJ, Magic, multiple OC characters, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Porn, Identity Porn, Dubious Consent, Happy Ending, Falling In Love Again, Angst and Hurt/Comfort)

If You Love Someone by CoatWrites (T, 28k, WangXian, Rule 63, Fem!LWJ, Fem!WWX, Perceived Major Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Misunderstandings, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Inspired by Princess Bride, Mistaken Identity, mention of past mercy killing, mention of past cannibalism, mention of past torture by a main character, Mention of food insecurity, Attempted Arranged Marriage)

🧡#WarPrizeJiSeason by PorcupineGirl (T, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YL WWX, Warprize LWJ, Yiling Wei Sect, Mistaken Identity, Identity reveal)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what  you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack,  whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

[beautifuldead]

i was in early high school when I first denoted myself as asexual. while I had not experienced sex, I knew I was fairly eh about it; I didn't experience that form of desire towards people. Even if it was an experience I wanted to have, it was never anything about any particular person, but rather just wanting to experience something in general.

The landscape of tumblr at this time was rather ace positive. Asexuality was a well-known label, and a celebrated aspect of queerness. There were light-hearted jokes about the LGBTQ+ community about swingsets (straight people swing one way, gays swing another, bi swing both direction, pan swing violently everywhere, and ace people don't swing at all) that always made me smile.

And then everything collapsed, and the idea that "ace people aren't queer because they don't experience the same oppression" became uncomfortably loud. Everyone had a take, and a lot of people started to en masse make fun of and exclude ace people.

The basis, whether openly or not, was the idea of being "straight passing", that we could be perceived by heteronormative society as compliant and participant, when in fact we are not.

I cannot stress enough that I was there, and I remember it all. I had to delete my previous tumblr account entirely because I made a post supporting asexuality and celebrating it, and I got a wave of hate—to the point that when I changed my URL, someone made a new blog with my previous one to make fun of me.

I remember losing friends because of this phenomenon. I had people I trusted, appreciated, relied on, and that trust was broken because they believed I was undeserving of community with other queer people because, from their perspective, I wasn't oppressed the same way.

It doesn't matter that we were mistreated in ways that were largely similar to other homosexual people, through peer pressure and people trying to "make us straight" or seeing our asexuality as a challenge the same way they might see a lesbian as fixable. It doesn't matter that many asexuals had their committed romantic relationships fall apart because they couldn't please their partners. It doesn't matter that many people still joke about asexuals being plants as a means to demean us.

Because even if none of that actual mistreatment and disrespect happened, asexuals were oppressed by our own fucking community. We were mistreated, disrespected, attacked, and silenced by our queer peers simply because we didn't fuck.

Exclusionists believed we weren't queer enough because we weren't oppressed for being asexuality, so they oppressed us themselves and forced so many of us back into the closet.

It's an impressive level of hypocrisy, that we are mistreated by those who should stand in solidarity with us because they don't get it. Because they think it's weird, or it's a phase, or it's not having found the right person, exactly how they claim to have been mistreated. These people used us as a punching bag to reflect their own grief and trauma upon, to feel big and strong where the rest of the world made them feel small.

And instead, we could have stood together.

Our community online cannibalized itself from the inside out for some twisted game of pain olympics, providing value to only those they deemed worthy, reflecting the way our community as a whole had been treated for decades.

I want to make clear that this happened because of people that decided they needed to be valued on the terms of heteronormative society. This happened because of a need for external validation and acceptance from the people that hate us. I said it years ago, and I'll say it again:

The people who hate us don't care if we're gay, bi, pan, ace, or something else. They care that we're different from them, and they will hate us indiscriminately.

It's this ideology that fed into biphobia, panphobia, truscum/transmedicalism, and eventually terfism. It's this ideology that we have to conform in our nonconformity that has caused this rift.

This community has spent the better part of a decade cannibalizing itself, severing itself, dividing itself, and making it all the more simple for our oppressors to devour us.

Because we're not queer unless we experience same sex attraction. Because we're not queer if we experience opposite sex attraction. Because we're not trans unless we conform to heteronormative gender stereotypes. Because we're not trans at all.

And the last step is that we're not queer at all. Because we were divided and conquered by ourselves.

I will not mince words: this will not happen again. I will not be traumatized back into the closet again. I will not watch as a community built from the ground up for the express purpose of solidarity and supporting the divergent is torn apart by the very people that it exists to support.

Within the last couple years, I determined I am aromantic as well. But because of this experience, despite my perceived solidity in ace/aro validity, I wasn't sure if I should come out, or if I was correct. I hesitated, closeted by those masquerading as a part of my community, made to question in the back of my mind that my feelings were incorrect, a phase, a problem.

Even if I were to be aromantic and not asexual, or asexual and not aromantic, I am still queer.

And now history repeats itself, and a new wave of self-proclaimed judges of queer validity try to take this away from us, and a new wave of asexuals and aromantics are at risk of feeling this same struggle.

It is with no respect, and seething rage, that I say this: anyone who repeats the past is not welcome here. Anyone who seeks to divide our community again is not welcome here.

If you come here to this website to spew hatred and vile at the members of your own community, you are not welcome on this website. You will not repeat the past without consequence again.

If you believe in any such way that queerness requires some amount of conformity beyond not being cishet, you are not welcome here.

In short, and with absolute hatred:

Aphobes, get the fuck off my website. We will not do this again.

#asexuals are valid and welcome here #aromantics are valid and welcome here #asexuality #aromantic #the keeper speaks #rant

[sixhours]

Chapter 7 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

It’s the 21st anniversary of the day the world ended, and you decide to take your evening break at the Tipsy Bison, nursing a mug of hot coffee at the bar. The mood in the place is quiet, but not exactly somber. The place is dotted with people like you; one has already offered to buy you a drink. You’re not sure how that’s supposed to work in a trade economy, but you decline regardless. He’s not your type.

The pretty brunette at the other end of the bar, however…

There’s a trio of young people, barely old enough to drink, laughing and talking amongst themselves at a table in the corner like it’s any other Friday night in September. It occurs to you that they’re not old enough to have known any other life.

You’re feeling very old when a gruff voice materializes behind you. “What’s up, doc?”

“Never heard that one before,” you say dryly as Joel takes a seat on the stool next to yours. He flags down the bartender and orders a double bourbon, neat.

You raise your eyebrows. “Thought you didn’t drink.”

“I don’t,” he says easily. He nods at the bartender when the drink is set down, then picks it up and takes a slow, nursing sip.

“Long day?”

“The longest,” he murmurs, then nods at your mug. “You?”

“Just coffee,” you say. “I’m on call. Sometimes it’s nice to get out, stretch my legs. Where’s Ellie?”

“Uh, she’s with friends. Same pack of kids. They all run together, I guess.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen them around. They seem alright.”

He scoffs lightly, side-eyes you. “Spoken like someone who’s never had a teenager.”

“Got me there.”

He nods and sips his drink. You sit together in unfamiliar but amiable silence.

“So, no kids,” he says, tilting his head in a question. “Boyfriend? Husband?”

“None of the above,” you say, smirking a little, glancing at the pretty brunette. She meets your eyes, holds your gaze for a touch longer than necessary and smiles. “No family. I was an only child, my parents were killed when they bombed New York.”

Your voice is flat; you’ve recited this fact about yourself so many times. For his part, Joel doesn’t feign shock or tell you how sorry he is. What would be the point? The world is full of loss; yours is just one in a long line.

You take another drink before turning the question back on him. “And you? Boyfriend? Husband? Family?”

He shoots you a sideways glance. “Just my brother, Tommy. Got his ass arrested the night everything went to shit, so I had to take the truck into town and bail him out. Made sense to just keep drivin’,” he says, staring into the bottom of his glass like he could see his future in the amber liquid.

“There’s a funny kind of luck in that.”

Joel grunts but doesn’t continue, and you leave him to his drink.

Nature calls. You ease yourself off the barstool and make your way to the restroom around the corner. The fluorescent light flickers as you do your business, wash your hands, and for a moment you’re almost dizzy with the sense of déjà vu; the world ended twenty-one years ago, but there are still podunk bars in small towns with grimy, badly lit restrooms.

You open the door and find a man standing in the frame, looking pointedly at you. You try to bypass him, but he puts his hand on the doorframe, leaning in, blocking your exit. You recognize him as the one who tried to buy you a drink, and your stomach tightens. He has a look in his eyes that you know too well.

“Hey, baby–how ‘bout that drink?”

“Not happening,” you say flatly. “Move.”

He grabs your arm, not tight, but enough to send a message, crowding you back into the tiny restroom. “C’mon, don’t be like that. We could have a little fun.”

His other hand comes up to stroke your jawline. You snatch the last two fingers away and twist them backward just enough to hurt.

“What the fuck bitch–”

His palm makes contact with your cheek; the slap rings in your ears and makes your eyes water.

Should have saw that coming. You’re going soft.

Without thinking, you drive your pointed fingers directly into his windpipe with all the force you can muster. He collapses backward against the stall door, falling inward, clutching his throat.

“Bitch,” he wheezes, but his eyes roll in his head, and when you move toward him, he scrabbles frantically away.

Another shadow in the doorway, and you tense, rounding on them, ready to defend yourself again. It takes a moment to register that it’s Joel, watching you with something like awe.

“He’ll be fine,” you say, trying to slow your breath, shaking out your hand. It hurts more than your cheek; you broke a nail. “Just needs to sleep it off.”

Suddenly the walkie on your belt scratches out a message, summoning you to the clinic.

“Shit. Guess that’s my last call.”

“I’ll walk you back,” Joel says quickly, still looking uneasily at the guy on the floor.

You scoff. “I don’t need your protection, Miller.”

You’re not expecting him to reach out and take you by the chin, delicately tipping your face to the side, examining the blooming red mark on your cheek.

“I can see that,” he says. “But I’m headin’ that way.”

You sigh, gently ducking away from his touch, brushing off your slacks. “Fine. Let’s go.”

You wait at the door while Joel talks to the bartender, probably figuring out how to get the asshole out of the bathroom.

“Sheriff’ll take care of him,” Joel says, pushing open the door and standing aside to let you go first.

“What happens then?”

“Not his first offense. He’ll prob’ly get put out.”

You whistle softly. “They don’t fuck around, huh?”

Joel shakes his head, but he’s gone back to being quiet, broody. You walk down Main Street, your gaze drawn upward. The sky is clear and inky black, dotted with pinpricks of light.

“They never turned off the damn lights in the QZ,” you say offhandedly. “You couldn't see the stars.”

He follows your gaze. “I remember.”

You look over at him, questioning.

“Was in Boston for a while,” he says, catching your eye. “Total shithole.”

You turn your face back to the stars, hoping the current of shock snaking through you doesn’t show. 

Boston.

“So…what brought you all the way out here?”

“Came lookin’ for Tommy. He ran off and married Maria, we lost touch…I thought maybe…” he trails off, but you get the picture.

“And you decided to stay?”

He shrugs, looking around at the main street. “Seemed safe. Safer than anything we’d seen in…well, ever.”

“And Ellie? She was with you?”

“She…tagged along,” he nods. “What about, uh, you?”

“Me?”

“What brought you to Jackson?”

“Oh, I…was at the QZ near Omaha for a while. But things went bad,” you say. “I decided I’d be better off taking my chances elsewhere.”

“Alone?”

You nod. “I managed.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he says, tossing a knowing look over his shoulder toward the bar.

“Jackson is…so different from Omaha,” you say, suddenly eager to deflect his attention.

You don’t tell him that it’s safer than any of the other communities you’ve infiltrated. You don’t tell him that you’ve gained weight because you’re fed. You work hard, you go to sleep in a soft bed with a full stomach…and you’re needed. The thought sends a thrill of belonging through you, and with it, an unfamiliar pang of guilt that you quash down immediately.

“You miss it? The QZ?” he asks as if reading your mind.

You bark a laugh, thinking of your rotting apartment back in Boston that you so rarely see. How can you be homesick when you don’t have a home? “Hardly. No, you want to know what I miss?”

He tips his head, waiting for your answer.

“Mango smoothies…the kind I used to get from the cafeteria when I worked at the hospital. I miss real fruit that doesn’t come from a can. I miss bananas. God, anything that isn’t a mealy, tasteless apple,” you sigh.

This elicits an honest-to-god chuckle, surprising you, the sound so unfamiliar from his lips.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’,” he says, but he’s smirking. The expression lights up his face, softens him. Maybe it’s the booze. “Fruit, huh?”

“Fruit,” you repeat, feeling vaguely defensive. “It’s the little things, I guess.”

“I s’pose,” he says.

The walkie crackles at your belt, calling your name; you realize you’re standing outside the clinic.

“Guess I’d better get back to it. Thanks for the walk, Miller.”

“G’night,” Joel nods, lingering just a touch longer than necessary before he ducks his head and walks off toward home.

~*~

The pretty brunette from the bar shows up at the clinic a few days later to invite you out for coffee. Her name is Theresa, and she’s one of Jackson’s regular patrollers. She’s younger, fifteen years your junior, but those things don’t seem to matter the way they used to. She’s good in bed and a perfect mark for gathering intel.

It helps that she likes to talk. After a few dates and a few drinks, you’re intimately familiar with the Jackson patrol routes and outpost locations. When you’re not working, she takes you to bed and uses her busy tongue to lick you senseless.

You have to admit, it’s nice to be with someone who knows where your clitoris is, for a change.

You’re lying together in a post-orgasm haze, legs tangled together, when she asks you the question.

“So…what’s the deal with you and Joel?”

You pull back, trying to shake off the lull of oxytocin burbling happily through your system. “Wait, what?”

“It’s a small town, babe. Heard he spent a bunch of time over here. Thought maybe you…y’know.”

“There’s no deal. I needed some work done on the house, he did me a favor.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” She rolls onto her belly, raising an eyebrow. “Some ‘work on the house’?”

“His daughter was sick, I treated her, he wanted to pay me back.”

Theresa clucks her tongue thoughtfully. “Joel Miller doesn’t do ‘favors’. I can’t even get him to cover a patrol shift when I’m on day three of the Red Death and the only thing keeping me upright is a double-dose of twenty-year-old Midol.”

You snort. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

“So what’d you do? Fuck him?” she giggles, and you wait for just a beat too long to answer. Her sweet pink lips drop open in mock scandal.

“Whoa…you slut ,” she says appraisingly.

You roll your eyes, suddenly annoyed with this conversation. “Jealous?”

“Are you kidding? I swore off dick when I was fifteen.”

She seems to grow serious, one finger gently drawing a path from your temple to your jaw. “I’d just…be careful with that one. He’s got a reputation.”

“Mm, I’ve heard as much.”

“No, not like that. I mean…he’s…lethal,” she looks at you through heavy-lidded eyes. Her finger brushes your lips, gently pulling down, and you swipe at it with your tongue, sucking the slender digit into your wet mouth as her pupils blow wide. “Dangerous.”

You think of him drawing the gun, the cold, hard look in his eyes. “I like danger.”

She rolls you onto your back, straddles you, curves over your body like a comma, slick center dragging hot and heavy against your belly. Her tongue is in your mouth, and your fingers are threaded in her hair, and soon Joel is the furthest thing from both of your minds.

~*~

“I suppose you could do worse.”

“Hmm?”

“Joel.”

“Back on this again,” you mutter, sitting up, picking up your clothes piece by piece. “There’s nothing there, Thea.”

“I mean, I guess he’s hot…for a guy,” she teases, wrinkling her nose.

You shoot her a look. “I’m going to take a bath. Wanna join me? Or should we keep talking about the asshole?”

Thankfully she opts for the bath.

~*~

It’s October, and on a rare day when she isn’t patrolling and you’re not at the clinic, Theresa drags you to the annual Jackson Harvest dance. It’s the highlight of a weekend festival to cap off the harvest season, with games for the kids, a pie bake-off, and an old-fashioned cider press; all the comforts of a fall day in a world that no longer exists except in this secluded little bubble in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming.

Tables and benches are pushed to the side of the cafeteria to make space for a dance floor, lights are strung up along the beams, and someone has cobbled together a sound system and a box full of old vinyl, cassettes, and CDs. They’re playing 80’s music when you enter, something you used to know by heart, probably sang at the top of your lungs into a hairbrush when you were a kid, but haven’t heard in a very long time.

Theresa immediately grabs your wrist and pulls you into the middle of the room, but it’s claustrophobic in the crush of people and you excuse yourself.

You make for the edge of the cafeteria, thinking you’re going to need alcohol to get through this. It feels like high school all over again–draped against the wall, waiting for the girl you liked to ask you to dance, knowing she wouldn’t dare–except this time you’re solidly in middle age and watching your girlfriend grind on a twenty-something in skinny jeans.

You’re starting to think this relationship is reaching its inevitable conclusion when you spot a familiar face near the concessions. Ellie is standing with a cluster of teens, all of whom look furtive and overly casual like they’re trying hard not to be noticed. You suspect they’re hoping the adults will look away long enough for them to sneak a beer or three.

You make your way over to the table and sure enough, your presence causes them to scatter, Ellie included. You half smile and grab a bottle of homemade hard cider to sip at while you study the room.

There’s no sign of Joel, but you spot Tommy and Maria talking to another couple. This must be a date night. Theresa is still dancing, and her eyes light up when she sees you. You give her a little wave but take a seat, content to watch from the sidelines.

Eventually, she finds you nursing your cider on the bench.

“Hey,” she says, plopping down next to you, grabbing the bottle from your hands and taking a long drink. “Didn’t take you for a wallflower, babe.”

“It’s…a lot,” you say truthfully. The crowd, the sounds, the lights; you feel the start of a headache gathering behind your eyes.

The music changes, something slower–Radiohead, you think. Theresa leans into you. Her breath is sweet-sour from the cider. “Come dance with me.”

“I’m not–”

“C’mon, it’s a good one,” she says with a pout. “Besides, I saw you watching me.”

“Fine,” you say, grabbing the cider back and downing the remains in two big gulps. “But you’re going to regret it when I step on your feet.”

She pulls you onto the floor and into her arms, looping them around your waist, swaying with the music.

I've given all I can,

It's not enough…

“Not so bad, huh?” she leans in to purr into your ear, and you grudgingly admit to yourself that it feels nice; the softness of her body against yours, the warmth. You relax into her and let her head rest lightly on your shoulder. Her curls are sweet and musky with lavender oil, her fingers hot against the skin where your t-shirt rides up at your waist.

For a minute there,

I lost myself, I lost myself…

Slowly you become aware of Ellie, standing across the room…watching you. You make eye contact and she immediately looks away, turning, and then she’s lost to the crowd as Theresa leans back and grins at you.

“You haven’t stepped on my feet yet.”

“The night is young,” you quip. 

The song fades out and now they’re playing some teenybopper boy-band hit you remember from the 90’s, the kind of thing you’d never have listened to before. Now, though, you let your body move to the music, letting yourself feel it, and Theresa laughs approvingly.

For a few minutes, you don’t feel the subtle ache in your hips or the pressure on your aging lower back. You throw your hands up, rock your head from side to side. You’re twenty-three and in med school and they’re playing your favorite song and you’re out at the club trying to blow off steam, trying to forget that someday you’ll hold a person’s life in your hands. All your failures lie ahead, and you’re safe in the embrace of youth.

You look up and meet her eyes.

Joanna.

Your breath catches, your skin breaks out in a sweat that has nothing to do with exertion. The little cafeteria is stifling, bodies on all sides, and the floor is spinning under your feet. You lurch, leaning into Theresa, who mistakes your distress for love, pulling you closer.

“Gonna grab some air,” you gasp, breaking away before she can answer.

You burst into the cold night, relishing the way the air prickles your overheated skin. Hands shaking, you reach into your pocket and pull out a single cigarette and a lighter; you haven’t had a drag in weeks. You flick the lighter until it catches, already anticipating the balm of the smoke filling your lungs.

“Whatcha doin’?”

You jump at the voice, the unlit cigarette flying from your fingers and landing somewhere in the grass. You turn to see Ellie sitting on the porch railing, swinging her feet. You stash the lighter; the cig is a lost cause.

“Fuck,” you whisper, then turn to her. “It’s…warm in there. Needed to breathe.”

She quirks her lips, eyeing the bulge of the lighter in your pocket. “Right.”

“Does your dad know you’re here?” you mutter, wondering if you’ll be able to find the cigarette in the grass.

“He’s with the baby. Tommy said he’d keep an eye on me,” she says.

You’re pretty sure Tommy is three sheets to the wind right now. You imagine Joel would be pissed if he knew, and Ellie knows it because now she’s looking at you with trepidation.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” you say. “Where’d your friends go?”

Ellie shrugs, but her eyes go dark, focused on a spot over your shoulder. You turn and see a couple standing in the dark alley across the street. He’s leaning into her, and you can hear a faint giggle over the din of music coming from the cafeteria.

“Ohhh,” you say, beginning to put it together. “That’s…Jesse, right?”

She shoots you a look of contempt, absently picking at her lip, chewing the skin. “Dina…and Jesse.”

Oh. Dina.

“I shouldn’t have assumed,” you say carefully, leaning against the wall. “I used to hate it when people did that.”

She considers this, then leans forward, curious. “So…she your girlfriend or somethin’?”

No, but she’s convenient.

“Who, Theresa?” you say, trying to keep your voice light.

Ellie rolls her eyes. “No, Delores the lunch lady.”

You press your lips together, barely holding back a smile. You like this kid and her smart mouth, despite yourself. “Yeah…I guess you could say she’s my girlfriend.”

She looks like she’s chewing on this, so you add, “Never seen that before?”

“I knew girls who…y’know…when I was at FEDRA school. They usually got the shit kicked out of ‘em.”

“Kids can be cruel,” you murmur.

Ellie scoffs, kicking at the railing with her heel. “Wasn’t the kids we had to worry about.”

You wince. You couldn’t count the number of women who came to you–came for you–and went back to their shitty boyfriends for protection, or the number of times you were called a dyke when some asshole found out you weren’t going to fawn over them just because they had a dick.

“Yeah…well…some things haven’t changed, I guess,” you say. “But for what it’s worth…no one’s kicked the shit out of me yet. Not here, at least.”

She shrugs as if to say the point was moot, eyes drifting back to her friends.

“So…FEDRA school, huh? Was that in Boston? Your dad said you came here from the QZ last year.”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Ellie shrugs, then her eyes brighten. “Hey, did you find any more of those comic books?”

“Oh…I haven’t. But if I do, I’ll let you know.”

Her face falls, but then the door swings open beside you, and Theresa is calling your name.

“There you are,” she says. “You disappeared, I was worried.”

“I think I’m done for tonight, Thea.” The thought of stepping back into the mess hall makes your insides churn.

“Well, if you’re sure,” she frowns. “Mind if I stay a bit longer?”

You shake your head, forcing a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night, babe,” she smiles, leaning in for a lingering kiss before ducking back into the building.

Ellie gives you a knowing little smirk when she’s gone.

“Well, she’s no Dolores,” you murmur, and the girl’s laugh is an unexpected balm.

#fanfic #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #fic recs #the last of us

[lurksunderthebed]

Funnily enough i had a long ass convo with one of the dudebros that just decided to drop by and comment how Ghost and Soap are NOT GAY!!! on one of the comment's that initially didn't even mention anything about them like that other than saying "they could have been friends or something more like romantic", and this guy just lost it. Problem with them is they wanna latch onto their "role" models so desperately it threatens their masculinity when someone dares to read these characters as anything other than cis het man.

Bear with me it's gonna be one long ass essay; The need to gatekeep a certain character because their views don't aling with how the rest of us choose to interpret them because according to them, their view is a fact but ours that's not aligning with their bias is a headcanon, make it make sense. Saying and seething that "Ghost isn't GAY!!!" isn't a fact, that sounds like an agenda to me because seeing Ghost as a bi/pan anything else doesn't count in the "manly man" category for toxic dudebros because masculine men only are allowed to dominate and bang women, right? It just shows how simple minded and uneducated the lot of them really are. Cannot fathom man and a woman having a platonic bond without saying "yeah they're polygamous, that's a thing in military for men to have side bitches" whilst defending fiercely Ghost and Soap as being anything other than "bros" because they feel attacked.

Don't get me started on the whole double standard issue either; it's very hot and cute when Ghost threatens Milena but it's disgusting and no no for Ghost and Soap who literally have an established bond between them and clearly care for one another. Same goes for Valeria, they were ready to pair her with Soap just because it was a woman and a man. A man has to bang chicks lol/ This philosophy is so tiring and dumb that it just shows you how a cis het man actually sees women. And i'd go as far as to say it implies misogyny aswell. Take that as you will. But this issue is present in every sort of fandom whose target audience is mostly basement dwellers that rely on their mums for a brand new GPU.

I think the whole thing has to do with projection. When it comes to people who lash out and get ridiculously upset about these sorts of things, especially about a FICTIONAL character it's cause they view it as an attack on themselves.

Which is all sorts of sad, because we're not talking facts here or canonical events, it's about how those fans see themselves in their fav characters.

As I said earlier, you could read into people's sexualities all you want. Aside from Laswell hilariously enough, there isn't any definitive proof of het/gay/etc in any character in 141. If there was, you bet my overly analytical self would find it and make a note of it for Ghost or Soap.

There's arguably more proof on Ghost being queer than him being straight/het which is the funniest thing. The easiest read is him being just not interested in people as a whole, especially with how much he doesn't really interact with others personally (outside of Soap).

Personally, I think when it comes to those sorts of people it's best to just leave it be. No amount of actual factual basis or any sort of reason will change their minds. Because it's not the characters in question that is the issue, it's themselves as people that push their own agenda into it.

Again irony at its finest. For all the people out there upset at those pushing the "gay agenda" onto these characters, it's really themselves pushing their own values onto them. Realising this would require more self reflection than most of that vocal fanbase actually have.

#ask #ghostsoap #cod mwiii #cod mw3 #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap