#art is so much fun when you let yourself go nuts

[arliedraws]

In the books, Sirius's devotion to Harry is of course very deep, but it never translates to something physical. He only shakes Harry's end when he leaves his bedside in book 4, and in book 5 there is something resembling a hug, like twice...? As a dog he stood up his hind legs and front paws on harry's shoulders and a half hug after Christmas. Idk it sort of drives me crazy, because in the movies Harry and Sirius are so affectionate! That first hug when Harry arrives in Grimmauld!! Gary and Dan had an amazing chemistry that other actors were jealous of, they mirrored the book characters, so it palpable on screen, the few scenes Gary is in at all at least.

So, what do you make of this? Do you in musing for art imagine a more affectionate relationship between Harry and Sirius? Maybe if Sirius survived the war? Molly's hug in book 4 was a poignant moment but imo that should have been a moment between Sirius and Harry. Sirius already says he expected something catastrophic to happen to Harry in the third task, that's what he stutters when Harry comes in with Dumblebore. So he is literally afraid of his godsons life and it still shows of course, Sirius staying at Harry's side was very beautifully written, like the devotion is clear, but I am foaming at the mouth for more affection between them in canon? Platonic, not shipping. So between the movies and the books Im just kinda torn what's better

It's more a rant than an ask, sorry lol, but if you have any input I'd he so stoked to read it. Not many peeps in the fandom even give Sirius and Harry any time of day, nvrmind even understand what they had (which also drives me kinda nuts but ok)

Ohhhh, anon, you’ve come to the right spot! Mostly because I love them. I would say that 80% of my fandom interest is just Sirius being a dad to Harry.

To your question, I don’t think one is better than the other. Each has their purpose. Let me share my thoughts:

1. I am soft for movie Sirius and Harry’s affectionate touching. However. The dynamics of their relationship were NOT mirrored from the books, which…is fine. Honestly, I just don’t think it was a priority for the filmmakers. This particular bit doesn’t bother me because the movies are not supposed to replace the source material—they are an interpretation. To me, watching the movies is like reading fic—fun to watch but not canon. Also, the filmmakers removed so much of their relationship in GoF that they HAD to make Sirius and Harry physically affectionate in order for movie audiences to see what losing Sirius would mean to Harry. Their complexity is completely unexplored in the films, and they had to do SOMETHING to get the audience to feel sad when Sirius died. This started in PoA when they really downplayed the context of their relationship. (Lol, see my rant on PoA. I really don’t like that movie hahahahaha.)

2. In the books, Harry and Sirius are not physically affectionate with each other despite their intense love for each other, and I think this is an effective way to show characterization. As I tell my students, this might have been intentional by the author, but it could have been an instinct that she followed (what feels right for the characters).

Here’s what I think: both are so terrified of losing the other that they won’t allow themselves to get too close, and, crucially, they both fear showing vulnerability. Touching someone and reaching out for a hug or comfort is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. If you reach out for a hug, you are showing your true feelings. To be rejected physically is sometimes more devastating than someone telling you to just “go away.” It’s a sign of trust to touch someone—you are trusting that they feel the same way about you, and you are trusting that they won’t pull away. Both Sirius and Harry understand rejection, and both avoid it. How do you avoid rejection? You distance yourself.

I’ll put the rest under a cut because I think this might get long…

Sirius and Harry, for all that they love each other, fall out of trusting each other by OotP. Part of this is trauma, but it is also miscommunication. Harry is worried that Sirius will do something stupid—either out of concern for Harry or because he wants to get out of number 12–but he’s worried he’ll lose Sirius. So by withholding affection (which I’m not sure if he knows how to give physically), Harry distances himself from Sirius which will, theoretically, keep Sirius safe (of course, it backfires). Sirius is…you know…going through stuff in OotP. He is already vulnerable—he perceives himself as being emasculated because he’s not allowed to leave his childhood home and he’s relegated to performing ‘uninteresting, domestic work’, and he must be inactive when he’s a man OF action.

When it comes to Goblet of Fire and the odd handshake… I think Sirius is reeeeeally holding back. Harry does NOT want him to go, and Sirius knows this. (Why DOES Dumbledore send him away? Literally anyone else could have “alerted the old crowd” and NOT the convicted murderer. This is clearly the author’s excuse to get Sirius away from Harry—and, I’ve spoken to this before, Sirius is too much of a miracle character—too smart, too loyal, too loving to support the story that the author wanted to tell.) Sirius, if he had stayed, would have been the emotional support that Harry needed. So if Sirius holds Harry, what if Harry doesn’t let go? What if Sirius himself can’t let go? A handshake will have to do.

So Sirius leaves Harry with that bizarre handshake. That Sirius leaves at all damages their relationship—it could have been repaired with time (if they’d been allowed time), but this moment makes Harry realize that he cannot rely on anyone, not even Sirius. This leaves Harry to be isolated in OotP, and it leaves him to feel like he cannot trust anyone. I’m not blaming Sirius for leaving, but I believe this action causes a rift between them that carries into the next book.

My point is, I HATE that they don’t touch but it is very important that they don’t, at least when it comes to the story that the author wanted to tell. I think it was the right move when we look at the story as a whole. Do I like it? NO! But it’s interesting, and it DOES feel right for them. Is it devastating? Yes!!!!!!!

TL;DR: I don’t think either interpretation is necessarily better than the other, but they both have their purpose. Both are effective!

Touch is…huge in HP. Consider Voldemort’s “I can touch him now” and causing Harry pain. Touch is a privilege, and to be touched without permission is a violation. Harry kills someone by touching them. He is only touched by his family when Dudley beats him up or he gets shoved in his cupboard.

Weirdly, one of my absolutely favorite moments when Sirius and Harry touch is in PoA when the Dementors are closing in on Sirius, Harry, and Hermione, and Harry, as he’s about to faint, reaches out to grab an unconscious Sirius by the arm, thinking something along the lines of “the dementors weren’t going to take him” and such. And this is about two seconds after Harry has accepted that Sirius is telling the truth! Harry physically tethers Sirius to him—this touch-starved teen reaches out to this man who is now everything to him, who is now his only real family, willing to risk death (or worse) to keep it. BUT THEY JUST MET!!!!! Devastating!!!

Also…another thought: the first time Sirius and Harry touch is the first time Sirius has been touched as a human in twelve years. And Harry is beating the absolute shit out of him…and then Sirius nearly strangles him…

Also, also, not to like…self-promote, but if you want some Sirius & Harry family feelings and a wee bit of affectionate touching, I wrote a one-shot where they talk about their feelings in OotP.

Anyway, this got longer than I thought. Thank you for the prompt!!

#if this sounds critical of sirius it’s not #he is a Very Good Character #if he were ‘perfect’ he’d be boring #i like his messy parts #and i like harry’s #i wish there had been more of them together #but i like that we can build the relationship outside of what we’re given #i love AUs #sirius black #harry potter #hp meta #long post #asks

[creativesplat]

Smooth/Rough

#a crazy conglomeration of different colouring and lining styles to make this picture feel 'rough' as per the prompt #I used just about every tool my drawing program has! it was so fun #I don't know if this looks any better for it but the process was so entertaining I don't really mind #miphlink week #miphlink #link #mipha #rough #the inspiration was a picture of one of the spider guys from the Spiderman into the spider verse movie and I looked at it and thought #yep. that looks pretty 'rough' in a cool way #so I made this psychedelic monstrosity! and I loved every second #art is so much fun when you let yourself go nuts #tw bright colours #miphlinkweek2023 #creativesplat draws

[datcravat]

HI HELLO I love your art So much,,, do you have any tutorials on how you render your stuff? For example, the colors you use & how you pick them, how you get that pink tone around the Lineart (I think) (it's just rly cool). I would love to see stuff like that, cuz your art is Such visual candy (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Hey! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my art, I worked hard to make it what it is!! Means a lot you appreciate it!!!!!!

I've had no professional art training, I seriously don't know what I'm doing and struggle making tutorials. But will try here!!

For me the colour work is really situational on the drawing! I find myself experimentally attempting to weaponize colour theory and there's a lot of instinct involved that I can't figure out how to verbalise yet. Here's an example of some thought process I have:

My main advice is to play with sliders a lot and really experiment (that's what I do for every drawing)!

To get the pink glow around your lineart, copy your lineart layer, fill the copy in with a pink of your choice (sometimes I do a gradient), blur the layer (experiment with how much blur you'd like), put it directly below the lineart layer, and set the layer to multiply (or any mode you think looks pretty)!

You may want to adjust your piece's brightness/colours after applying it and sharpen the image after exporting.

A lot of colour gradients are involved and on their own they can eventually compromise the gritty/punchy style, especially the ones that are between extreme and subtle. A good way to combat this is with screentones/haftones!! You can use them to diversify colours and imply shading/texture.

I recommend going nuts and having a lot of fun with it to find what works for you!

I often add a lot of small lens flares as they satisfyingly cut through the piece, imply flash photography (which goes well with the strong black shading), add visual noise to areas you don't want to be your main point of focus, are a great way to show speculars, and idk man sparkles are just pretty haha.

Go nuts with them and have fun!! When you get them to look good, think to yourself why that is.

I made a tutorial ~1 year ago on how I shade with black. This simple trick will really help it look good, 3D and rendered - it just requires a lot of knowledge about shadows to start with. I have a lot of experience rendering "normally" which helped me learn how to use black in an experimental way.

Minor correction that the shadows labelled "ambient occlusion" in the tutorial are actually just normal shadows, ambient occlusion is total lack of light.

I hope this is useful to you!! You have a knack for art, your work is very inspired. Please keep drawing!! I am still learning too, let's keep going baby.

-Cravat x

#ask #tutorial #my art #art tutorial #thank you for the ask!!

[chimivx]

yellow. (6)

pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Female!Reader (and always ot7)

summary: It's finally happened, you're living your dream. You've landed the job of your wildest fantasies, doing it beside someone who means a hell of a lot to you. It's only been a few months, but it's been pretty easy to settle into this way of life- the constant on the go, the always working, the barely sleeping. Your relationship has been flourishing as well, you and Yoongi working together better than ever... It seems, until now.

words: 5.5k

warnings: none for this part, still 18+ for nsfw occasional themes, if i missed anything please let me know!

a/n: I didn't mean to get angsty... but... I did. Thank you for being here! (Also, want you all to know that with what they're doing in this part- I don't have exact dates/I can never find exact dates. So if some timing is off because I don't have the actual facts, I apologize. )

~ sometime in february, 2016 ~

“Put them in front of the camera, play the track, and let them go nuts,” you mumbled, chewing on your thumb nail while you studied a couple of shots the crew was monitoring. 

The man dressed in all black who had asked you what you wanted to do next wasn’t walking away to do what he was told. Instead, he eyed the folded piece of paper in the hand that was folded over your chest, and lowered his brows ever so slightly.

Shifting your gaze over to him, you frowned. “What?” The man met your eyes and shrugged.

“Just thought there would be more, that’s all,” he said. “Usually there’s more detail involved.” His voice tapered off, and the tone he used was equally hesitant. All day every single male on this set had been speaking to you as if you hadn’t a clue as to what you were doing.

Well, every single male excluding seven of them.

Tilting your head to the side, you cross both of your arms and sit in your hip, raising a brow at the man. “There’s no detail involved, get them into that swimming pool, put a camera on the ground, and let them- and I mean it! Let them go nuts.” 

From over his shoulder you spot some of the boys reviewing choreography while the others mess with the set. Sunny was on the sidelines, comb in hand, ready to jump in the moment someone needed a touch up. Her dark eyes were sharp, focused on the boy's details. Work mode on, you knew there wouldn’t be any getting through to her until after the shoot had wrapped.

Behind Taehyung, who was goofing off for a camera capturing behind the scenes footage, Yoongi lingered beside Jin, half listening to his friend while he watched you from across the set. Dressed in a bright orange shirt and ripped jeans, your silver haired boyfriend scrunched up his face and raised his fist, gesturing to the man who walked away from you.

Holding up a finger you widen your eyes and smile, telling him no with a single look. You could handle this yourself, you were a big girl. You’ve done this before, you’ve dealt with the men before, and you’ll have to endure it for the rest of your life. The curse of being a woman.

On the set of Run, the entire company was concerned where things were going, and where the concept was being taken, but you didn’t care. You didn’t let any of their opinions stop you from creating your art, even if you improvised most of it.

Sure, the company created the storyline. The company gave you guidelines and the basics of what to do and when to do it, but everything in between? Well, that was up to you, and you ran with it. 

Run was your baby, and it will be forever. It’s chaotic, it’s over the top, it compels emotion. The boys were acting, the boys were having fun, the boys were smiling and laughing- and to you, that’s a win. You’ve seen how their shoots go when it’s just the other director on set. They exhaust themselves faster and don’t have nearly as much fun between shots. Bringing you and Sunny onto the team was the best thing the company could’ve done for these boys.

Yoongi smiled, then he drug his eyes up and down your body. You were dressed in all black and he was having a field day. The leggings you wore clung to your curves just right, and the long sleeved shirt that hung loosely off your figure belonged to him. Showing up in it this morning he had smirked at you and asked you where you had gotten it, acting like he didn’t watch you pick it up off of his floor mere hours before you both had to be on set.

Heaving a sigh, you walked away from the screen that replayed the shot of the choreography and took your time getting over to him. Eyes were on your back, you could feel them watching. Yoongi waited patiently, his smile growing the closer you got. 

“What was his name, I’ll kick his ass,” he said with a smile once you were a few feet away from him. 

“No ass kicking,” you said. “I can handle them. Drop the fake smile, I know you’re in pain.” 

His smile didn’t fall, but it did falter. “I can handle it.”

The shoulder had been talked about twice since you heard the full story of what had gone down to keep him living in this everyday hell. The first time was shortly after you found out, when you caught him taking pain meds he swears he never has to take in a bathroom at the company between rehearsals. Brushing past it quickly because it seemed to get a rise out of him, you preferred if he didn’t get mad and would hopefully talk about it later.

He didn’t.

This was the second time it’s been brought up.

“I’m good,” he shrugged. Pointing at the piece of paper in your hand he found a way to change the subject, fast. “What’s this?”

Taking him in for another couple of seconds, your eyes letting him know you couldn’t believe he wasn’t taking his injury seriously, you unfold the paper that had scribbles upon scribbles written on it from late night cram sessions.

“Notes,” you said. The boys' names, and nicknames, were all over it along with random ideas that weasled their way into your brain at inconvenient times while you were away from your projects. This sheet of notebook paper was the ‘inconvenient thoughts about Fire’ paper. It had been folded so many times that it wasn’t as strong as it used to be, and some of the corners were torn because it was poorly handled most of the time.

You were an artist. The state of which your notes were in didn’t matter, as long as the finished product was perfect.

Yoongi took the sheet from you carefully and held it close to read your tiny, scribbled writing, his eyes squinting to pick up the faded pencil marks. “Holy shit, you’re thorough.”

Folding your arms over your chest you nodded. “I am.” Your tone struck him, making him look up at you with softened brows. 

From somewhere in the back your name was called, a member of the crew beckoning you back to look something over so that they could move on. Leaving Yoongi without a word, he watched you walk away, and flattened his lips. Folding up your notes gently, following the creases that were permanently wrinkled into the paper, he starts toward you to return it, but in turn is summoned to wardrobe by Sunny and another woman.

The boys trudge over, Taehyung already stripping out of his jacket, but Yoongi hesitates. The way you were observing the shots on the screen, gesturing toward the equipment, speaking to the men like you were the boss, it was captivating. He adored watching you work, he adored getting to watch you make your art. He was proud of you, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had pissed you off.

“These shots are going to flash back and forth between the ones we’re going to film tonight,” you held both of your hands up to the screen, flipping one back and forth to visualize what you were thinking. “It looks boring now because it’s just one solid shot, but that’s also why we were zooming in and out so often.” The man who was sitting beside the screen held an empty stare. Swallowing a groan, you smile. “We needed one basic full shot of the choreography, if you get rid of this, I get rid of you.”

Now that caught his attention. His eyes shot open wide as he offered you meaningless apologies, turning toward the screen to make sure he saved every shot. You weren’t sure if you had the power to fire him. It wasn’t that you wanted to fire him, nor did you want to act like a bitch, but there was no way your point was going to get across if you didn’t threaten him with something.

“We’re done here for now, boys let’s change!” Sunny’s voice flooded the set, catching your attention for a second, but you didn’t dare look away from the men working around you. You could see Yoongi lingered behind. Wanting to see what he was waiting for, you held yourself back from giving him what he wanted- your attention.

It boggled your mind that he didn’t want to discuss what happened to him. In some ways, you can see why he wouldn’t want to, but at the end of the day, who can hold onto something so horrific and not talk it out? Seeking help through the boys, you asked every single one of them if Yoongi had talked about it since he first told them, and all six of them said no. Jin was the only one who had heard more, but it wasn’t like Yoongi acted as if it was a big deal.

If he could keep this hidden from you, and act like there wasn’t anything wrong with keeping it hidden from you, you were worried he’d be able to keep other things from you. And now that you were finally feeling a little bit excited about life, you weren’t about to let him get away with shit.

“Back everything up, please,” you said to whichever crew member was listening, and followed the boys and Sunny into the building you were set to shoot in next.

In the tiniest room all seven boys were changing, and getting their hair fixed and their makeup touched up. Elbows were bumped and chairs were knocked into, but this room with tile for walls was still bigger than some dressing rooms the group had been shoved into on the road. 

Pulling the creaky door open with force, it was heavy as shit, you almost walked head first into Jungkook who was shirtless and adjusting his belt while the woman who worked with Sunny toyed with his hair.

Barging into the room, your simmering anger- if you could call it that- fueled your feet, and you collided right into the kids chest.

A muffled “Whoa!” came out of you both, and though your voices were hushed, they carried around the room that was full of low chatter from everyone else.

Stiffening your hands by your side, you didn’t want to think twice about what you had accidentally touched, you looked the boy up and down and laughed. “Sorry, Kook.”

That toothy grin reassured you that you had nothing to worry about. “Why’d you look so mad?”

“I’m not mad,” you breathed, giving your shoulders a shrug. 

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “Yeah, okay. What’s the matter?”

Looking over his shoulder you spy Yoongi checking himself out in a little square mirror, adjusting a hat that covered his hair. As he turned around to button the shirt he had slipped into, you figured he’d want your attention like he did outside, but he didn’t seem to notice you were there.

“You guys fighting or something?” Jungkook asked, sneaking a glance at your boyfriend.

Fighting wasn’t it, that wasn’t the word you’d use to describe what was happening, but you definitely were not on the best of terms at this exact second. Actually, for the past month or so things have been off. Part of you wondered if it was the two of you adjusting to a new life. Well, you were adjusting to a new life. Yoongi was adjusting to having a girlfriend.

Still, the way these weeks have been going by, melancholy and a little stale, aside from the combined hours you’d spend between your sheets, it was a total flip from the second half of last year.

You wouldn’t be lying if you admitted the fear you had in the start of all of this was haunting you.

Popstar bored with his latest conquest.

Rockstar getting sick and tired of the same old, same old.

Twenty two year old male got what he wanted out of a twenty two year old female and is pushing her away so he didn’t have to be the one to send her home after she literally uprooted her life to take her dream job, one he unfortunately is heavily involved with…

“You are not okay,” Jungkook's quiet voice broke you out of your thoughts. He had a shirt on now, his outfit was complete all the way down to the accessories. Meeting his gaze, he was worried. The cheesy grin and crinkly eyes were gone, replaced with concern and furrowed brows.

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” you choked out. “We’re fine, everything is fine.”

Jungkooks hardened glare refused to let up. “You’re an awful liar, Honey.”

“I could say the same about you,” your tone was laced with snarkiness. “Where’s Jimin?” Glancing about the room, you finally break into a giggle when you watch his expression go wild.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he sneered.

Popping your brows, you smiled. “Exactly.”

“No, seriously, what are you talking about?” Jungkook stepped closer to you, but you reached for the door behind you, pushing it open. “No, no, you’re not escaping, get back here!” With a laugh you fled from the makeshift dressing room and hurried out toward the empty swimming pool that was in the center of the giant warehouse.

Circling the edge of it, you came to halt and could not hold back the screech that came out of you when Jungkook grabbed you by the waist, almost knocking you into the concrete abyss that was only five feet deep. “Don’t run away from me when I’m talking to you, especially after you say something like that.” You could hear the grin on his lips.

Lifting you away from the pool while you laughed like crazy, he carried you to a quiet corner and put your feet back on the ground, turning you around to lecture you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said for what felt like the umpteenth time. Jungkook groaned, tipping his head backward.

“Why did you bring up Jimin?” His big, doe eyes bore into yours, genuinely asking you. Quirking a brow you tilt your chin a bit to question him. “You know what I’m talking about, don’t make me say it.”

Gulping, you gave him a slight shrug. “Do I know what you’re talking about?” This was not where you thought you’d have this conversation, on set, surrounded by crew members, while the very boy you spoke of had wandered out of the dressing room with the others god knows how long after you ran away from them.

Yoongi included.

Jungkook's lips tipped down a bit. The sight made your heart twist. “I swore you knew… What I was talking about… What you were… talking about… God.” Scrunching up his face he gripped his forehead and groaned again.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, putting your hands over both of his wrists.

“Thought I wouldn’t have to say it to you, the words, because I don’t know how to say them, and if you already knew then it’d really help ‘cause I dunno what the hell to say-“

“Jungkook,” you said louder, cutting him off, though you’d never heard the boy ramble like this before. He dropped the hand from his head and scrambled for your hands, squeezing them as tight as he could. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you… panic.”

He took a deep breath, one that helped you relax some. “I can’t…” Pausing, he sucked down another breath and shook his head. “I can’t say it.”

“Okay,” you nodded, dragging your thumbs over his hands. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.” He swallowed hard, beginning to nod with you. “Can I… Can I ask you a question? Just to make sure that I do know what you know?” 

His brows met in the center of his forehead. “Um… Yeah,” he answered with a sigh. “Sure, ask me.” The way his shoulders rose made him appear like he was bracing for impact. 

This was going to be hard. Getting him to break out of whatever norms he was used to was going to be a challenge. You knew already, you have for a while. You didn’t have to ask him about it, or torture him anymore by talking about it longer than he wanted, but he needed your help. He had to talk about it, or he would be stuck in this place forever.

Much like somebody else.

“I’ll… take this slow. And careful,” you said.

“Thanks,” Jungkook sighed. “It’s my first time.” He truly was an eighteen year old boy. Cracking a laugh at his stupid joke, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. He was thankfully wearing a smile when you looked up at him.

“When you see me with Yoongi, do you want that?” Your question sucked the humor out of the moment. His lips pulled together curiously. “That type of… relationship? With a girlfriend?” His lips were sealed now. “Kookie, it’s okay,” you smiled, shaking his hands so they’d swing by your side. “Nothing’s gonna change.”

You were once again reminded of the separate worlds you and these boys came from. You grew up in New York, and spent most of your life in the city. In Manhattan for that matter, literally where everybody no matter what version of queer you were came to celebrate themselves.

Jungkook parted his lips, hesitating big time before he whispered, “It’s terrifying.”

“I know,” you said. “And that’s okay, it’s going to be. But, I can tell you right now that I will still love you no matter what, and I know damn well those six idiots over there, fully clothed in an empty swimming pool,” he giggled, “They will still love you. You are their pride and joy. Do you know how easily you could get away with murder with those guys on your side?” A laugh is shared before quiet falls around the two of you.

The voices of the six idiots in the empty swimming pool echoed through the warehouse, their words getting muddled in the air.

“You don’t wanna say it,” you began, and Jungkook rapidly shook his head. “I know,” you started to smile. “But… can I?” His face twisted with discomfort, or disgust, or he was cringing… You couldn’t piece it together. “I won’t say the word, relax,” you said. “I just need confirmation, I don’t want to get this wrong.”

A nod was all you were going to get from him.

Lowering your voice to the point where you weren’t even sure he’d be able to hear you though he was standing five inches away from you, you whispered, “You like boys.” 

A sharp inhale ripped through his chest. His face remained stone cold as he jerked his chin up and stared at the ceiling for all of three seconds before scoping your surroundings. Letting him have his moment, you knew he’d come back to you when he was ready. And he did.

Another small, meek nod was all you were going to get from him. And it was enough.

“Kookie.” A grin was plastered onto your face. He attempted to smile as well, but he wore his nerves… everywhere. “You did it, you just told me. That’s huge.”

He gasped a breath and huffed a laugh. “Technically you told me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you squeezed his hands, throwing them away to wrap your arms around his growing body. He was getting more muscular everyday. “I’m proud of you.”

His arms snaked around your shoulders. Placing his chin on top of your head, he took a deep breath, one that made you rise and fall with his chest. His heart was racing, you could feel it pounding between his ribs. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Always here for you, Kook.”

“Honey!” Sunny’s voice shouted toward you, echoing against the roof, vibrating the walls. The sweet nickname she gifted you with when you were twelve had a way of sounding incredibly menacing when she forced it from her glossed lips with a bite.

Pulling away from Jungkook you looked toward her and the way she’s standing at the edge of the pool, gesturing into it.

“It’s like herding toddlers who just learned how to sprint,” she raised her brows. “They are all here, it’s now or never. The sun sets in three hours.”

“Let’s go,” Jungkook said, nudging you with his shoulder as he started toward the pool.

Following close behind him you watched as he jumped over the edge fearlessly and landed on his feet, rushing to Namjoons side. The leader threw an arm around the youngests shoulder and gave him a smile, one that Jungkook returned.

Bumping into Sunny, standing as close to her as possible, she eyed you curiously and asked, “Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “He will be.”

Shifting your gaze over each boy to inspect what they were wearing and to ensure they were camera ready like Sunny declared, you find Yoongi looking up at you, your eyes meeting for the first time since you spoke outside. You couldn’t read him.

Hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, he was clenching his jaw so tight his teeth could crack. It was hard to tell whether or not he was angry, or upset, but he seemed it. Everything about his energy was… off. Like the past few weeks.

If he was miffed at you for whatever reason he could conjure up, you were certain it wouldn’t be as good as yours. All you wanted to do was talk to him. At this point in your relationship, you should know a whole bunch about him, not be discussing your days for a mere twenty minutes after work just to have sex and either fall asleep or go home.

Gritting your teeth, you sent a reciprocated chilling glare back to him, as much as it hurt your heart.

“Okay! Let’s go,” you called out to bring everybody back into the shoot, breaking the stare when it became too much to handle. “Bring it boys, let’s have some fucking fun!”

There was about an hour spent around the pool, you and Sunny either sitting on the edge behind the cameras, or jumping in to fix something or adjust the details. Both you and Yoongi fought to not look at one another, and you wondered if anyone else was being suffocated by the air in the room.

When you approached Jungkook to shift him over, adjusting the spacing so that he wasn’t covering too much of Hoseok, you felt his eyes burning into you. Like you putting your hands on the teenager's shoulder made him want to burn the place down. You swear the earth rumbled.

You couldn’t help but feel a tad guilty. The two of you had spoken about Jungkook before, or Yoongi’s made jokes rather. He didn’t know what you knew, and now it was confirmed that Yoongi had nothing to worry about when it came to his friend. He just had no idea.

By the end of this style of shots, after watching the seven of them cruise through the choreography again and again, your eyes wandered to Yoongi when ‘cut’ was called. He rolled his left shoulder backward, frowning as he did. Folding your arms you joined the camera team behind the screens to monitor what they had captured, keeping your peripheral glued to your boyfriend who shimmied something out of his pocket.

He was coming toward you. He was looking directly at you, coming toward you. Turning your chin, nerves shot up your spine as you took him in. Not a single word was spoken. Looking into your eyes, he slipped something into one of your hands, paused for half of a second, then followed the boys out of the pool.

You waited until he stalked off to look at what he had given you. Opening your hand you found your folded up sheet of notes that you forgot you gave him. Shaking your head the slightest, you open it up to see if anything on it would spark your inspiration, and down in the corner, in the last available blank space, ‘I love you’ was written in his chicken scratch.

A lump lodged in your throat, one you attempted to swallow away. Folding the paper up quick, you glanced out to where he had walked away to, but he was gone.

The shoot wrapped up around two or three in the morning. No one was paying attention to the clock, everyone was having way too much fun. This video was carefully calculated chaos dipped in mischievous partying- The exact image BTS was aiming to articulate. And you did that.

After thanking the crew, thanking the staff, and thanking the boys, you ventured into the dressing room where seven exhausted bodies were still shouting at one another. It usually took them a good hour to wind down after something like this, especially if it were a show. Both you and Sunny knew that the second their heads hit the cushions in the car they’d be out.

Except Yoongi. Another thing you both shared, the inability to get good sleep. Unless you were beside one another.

Letting the heavy door shut behind you, the scene of the boys stumbling over their feet while they changed into their cozy clothes made you want to smile. Taehyung was already laid back in a chair fighting to keep his eyes open while Hoseok straddled his lap, dancing around to the latest trend to try to keep him awake. Jungkook was slipping into a hoodie, Namjoon was helping Jimin wipe off his makeup, and Jin was hovering over Yoongi, blocking him out of your view.

Sunny wasn’t here, she and her assistant stylist had cleaned up their things already to give the boys their space. The two were combing through the set now, making sure they didn’t leave anything behind all while cleaning up after the boys. There wasn’t much for you to collect aside from the piece of paper in your pocket.

You came in here for one more thing.

As the shoot went on it seemed Yoongi loosened up, the two of you shared the occasional laugh when something would happen, but other than that you didn’t speak. By the end of it all your heart was positively broken, watching him walk away from you with the boys without a second glance back. 

Not many of your past relationships made it past this point. Once you hit the first bump in the road it was split city. None of them had been as invigorating or exciting as this one has. You used to be able to see this coming, the relationship's demise hovering toward you like a cloud in the sky, letting you know it was all about to go to hell.

You didn’t want this one to go to hell.

You wanted this one to work out.

You weren’t sure what your future looked like quite yet, but you knew you wanted to figure it out with Yoongi. When you were with him, he knew parts of you you weren’t even sure you knew yourself. He could see you, he could hear you, just as you could see and hear him. Which is why this doubt started hanging over you in the first place.

Brushing past each of the boys who hit you with a generous thank you in some way or another, you only had a small smile to offer them. By the time you shuffled toward the back of the room and reached Yoongi and Jin, the eldest of the two took one look at you and scurried away.

“Nice,” you said quietly, watching Jin as he glanced about the room, looking for something, seeming to ask the other boys where to find it. “Was I a bitch today? Or…” Yoongi, who had his arms crossed over his chest where he sat, sighed heavily and shook his head, screwing his eyes shut.

“No,” he mumbled. Holding your hands behind your back you looked down at him and thinned out your lips, hoping he’d say more. Beneath your gaze he could feel it, the need for him to say more, to talk about it, to talk about something. “Honey, I… Listen…”

“I’m listening,” you whispered, barely moving. Yoongi threw his arms to the side.

“Why am I in trouble here?” His eyebrows furrowed over his eyes, just visible under his messy silver hair. The stiff tone of his voice sent a chill over your skin, and signaled to the boys that it was time to leave the room.

“Never said you were in trouble,” you said. The door slammed shut, echoing against the tiled walls. Jungkook was the last to leave, sending a longing glance your way, but you missed it.

“Then why act like I did something wrong,” Yoongi said, sitting forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “All day you’ve been treating me like I’ve done something to you, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is.”

After a deep breath you mumbled, “Yoongi,” but he cut you straight off.

“I’m so happy that you have this job. I’m so happy you are doing what you love to do, and you’re creating, and you’re making the art that you want to make. You’re changing the game for us, for the industry… For me. You’re breaking boundaries, you’re taking it a step too far, and it’s so damn exciting, Honey, it really is.” He paused to look up at you. His wide, pleading eyes lost in more ways than one. “I feel like I take the fun out of it for you.”

You didn’t miss the way his voice cracked, the sound hitting you straight in the heart. “D, please, don’t do that,” you whispered, taking a step closer to him. He drug his hands over his face.

“How can I not?” he shrugged. “You have more fun with Jungkook, you don’t speak to me, and when you do I somehow turn it all to shit.”

“D, what the hell are you talking about?” Taking to his side, you crouched beside him and rested your arms across his lap. He couldn’t look at you, his focus was elsewhere. “You do not turn it all to shit.”

The way he looked at you pained you like a slap to the face. “Don’t try to make me feel better when I know you’re pissed at me.” Narrowing your eyes, the only thing you can do is shake your head. “I know everything you want me to do. And I won’t do it.”

“You can do it, you just have to-”

“No,” he was firm. “I won’t do it. I don’t want to.”

Standing to your feet you tucked your arms behind you like they once were. His words were confirmation enough. If he wasn’t going to speak, if he wasn’t going to communicate… If he wanted to just brush over everything as if it were nothing, and continue living in ignorant bliss, acting like everything was fine… It was over.

What once was bliss and ecstatic euphoria had hit a dead end. This gorgeous face and beautiful mind that had shown you in many ways what it was like to live, to live for yourself, was giving this up.

Granted it’d only been a few months, and you’re certain you both said ‘I love you’ way too soon, but it was authentic, it was real, it was you. It was Yoongi. From the start you’ve moved way too quick, you’ve been sprinting since the day you met. It was a whirlwind of dramatic excitement, and it was everything you had ever wanted, everything you ever wished for.

But, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe living in fast forward was what pushed this over the edge. Jumping headfirst into a relationship with a complete stranger from an entire different world, falling in love with them in mere weeks, moving across the globe, running from a life you used to know…

It wasn’t meant to be.

And that thought alone nauseated you.

You wanted him to be your forever.

Walking toward the door without looking back, you did your best to ignore the fact that he didn’t even try to stop you. He let you walk away.

He let the relationship crumble to pieces right in front of him, and he didn’t do a thing to save it.

VEGAS TAGS! <3

( I'm a slow updater. If I missed your tag please let me know. )

@jewelrnicorn @yoongisducky @all-american-fangirl @funkylittlebisexuall @ahewlett @damn-u-min-yoongi @my-dark-happy-place @wobblewobble822 @kaitieskidmore97

thank you so much for reading! i'd love to hear what you thought about this piece <3

comments & messages really help to keep your author's spirits up, don't forget to send your fav one a heart & a pat on the back!

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[uhohdad]

two things you’re never going to see from me is complaints on the portrayal of konig’s character (or anyone else, really) and “rules” on how to write your COD fanfiction.

idk about y’all but when i write it’s incredibly self indulgent. i write about what i want to write to satisfy my own sexual creative needs and i think y’all should do the same. you’re not gonna see me throw a fit if i don’t agree with your portrayal of a fictional man with 3 pieces of confirmed lore. if i disagree that much i just won’t read it? i’m not going to rain on your parade and tell you that you should stop doing your creative outlet and sharing your stories bc i don’t agree with how you want to write his character or bc you don’t follow canon.

you wanna portray him as a stone cold and ruthless killer who thirsts for the blood of his enemies? as the big soft uwu boy everyone hates so much? you want him to be 20y/o, 45 y/o, 60y/o? mean, kind, confident, anxious, smart, himbo, reserved, persistent, wholesome, a pervert? you want to strip this man of everything you know totally OOC and just borrow his appearance for a coffee shop AU? it’s okay! chances are there’s other people out there who were craving just the thing you’re cooking.

no one is doing this for a living, we’re all writing fanfiction about our imaginary boyfriends in CALL OF DUTY as a hobby. it’s just not that serious. this goes for all creative fandom works, too.

i’m personally very picky about my fanfiction, but who’s silly little problem is that? that’s my silly little problem. i’m here for the grind, the chase, the dig. too weak to handle scrolling back 100 pages on ao3 just to find the perfect strangers to enemies to friends to lovers 100k word porn with plot with accurate character potrayal you were looking for? you might be in the wrong business if you can’t handle the hunt, my friend.

y’all are making free content for us to consume. that’s more than enough, and the priority at all times should be to make sure you’re having fun writing. I’d rather you all share your OOC goofy little fics that you felt motivated and inspired to write than a canon friendly story you had to force yourself to get through for our sake.

anyway i’ll go to bat for fic writers any day of the week. tldr; don’t ever let anyone dictate how you express yourself creatively, give yourself permission to go nuts like a 6 yo old with paste, glitter, and elbow macaroni. free yourself from the weight of the chains of creative stifling and see how close to the sun you can girlboss. let us seethe at the hands of your raw muse.

and as always, thank you for sharing your art with the world.

#sorry i really try not to get involved in discourse and do my best to keep things light hearted around here #but idk i don’t think we should be tearing each other down for our creative writing choices #it’s just for fun #fwiw no one said this to me but i see a lot of posts of people complaining about this in the konig tag #like girl just don’t read it?? #if everything is properly tagged what is the problem? #anyway i’ll literally go to bat for any fic writer y’all are doing the lords work #i’ll shut up now #konig #konig call of duty #call of duty #cod #könig #modern warefare ii #uhohspeaks

[nooling]

Hey, I'm sorry if this may be out of nowhere / weird - I found a very old Tweet of yours that mentions you having dyspraxia. I don't know if I have it, but I'm struggling with a visualization problem that people seem to think is either that or is related, and was wondering if you had any insights into your process and how you deal with it (especially in terms of anatomy)? Your work is fantastic!!

Thanks so much anon! Really sorry this took forever to get back to, irl stuff got kinda mad. Also I’ll admit I’ve never really thought about it before, so this question got me examining how I’ve learnt. Here's what I've found helpful:

I don't know the specifics of what you're struggling to visualise but with me, I have aphantasia (which means I don't really think in clear images- if at all) which combined with ADHD means that making thins as simple as possible is the only way I can draw without getting frustrated and giving up.

Practice: Not a glamourous answer, I know, but repetition helps build muscle memory. Draw the same thing over and over again, especially if you avoiding something (I avoid hands lol) because it usually means it’s what you need to work on most. Start with a specific thing, eyes, skulls, legs etc. and fill pages with them. Go nuts. Draw noses until you can’t bare to look at peoples faces anymore- then draw more. After a while you’ll get an eye for what looks right and what doesn’t while drawing. Don’t need to visualise when you’ve filled 5 pages of feet and will probably draw them in your sleep.

Simplify Shapes: Complex objects can be broken down into simple shapes. Instead of visualizing an entire body, think of it as cubes, lines, and circles. Planar sculptures of bodies and heads are great references because they simplify everything.

Use 3D Models: If you struggle with visualizing a pose, use a 3D model. There are websites and apps that are free, some may let you pose the model, others will just have pre-made poses. I use Clip Studio Paints 3d stuff when I’m stuck on things (usually hands).

References: Another boring answer but: use references. You might need to pose and take photos of yourself, having a mirror on your desk is super useful for referencing yourself. Watching other people draw can give you new ideas, youtube, streams and tiktok are all good to just watch how artists you admire approach drawing.

Learn the Rules: Knowing the basic guidelines about body proportions helps, how many heads high a generic person should be to look correct, the arms should fall to mid thigh etc. Remove the need to try and imagine what something looks like and replace it with knowledge. Once you’re comfortable, you can start to break and play around with them

Consider Getting a Teacher or joining an art group: Not the most accessible option but a teacher can provide valuable critique and explain difficult concepts that are individual to you. Otherwise find an online or in-person group where you can ask questions and get feedback. I’m self taught so it’s not essential but having had teachers for animation, I improved 100x quicker from having people explain specifically the mistakes I was making rather than trying to power through it myself.

Most importantly, find a way to make it fun and there’s no correct way to approach art. If something works for you, then keep doing it.

#ask tag #this has been sitting in my drafts for forever and I kept meaning to finish it but my adhd said no #sorry anon! #hope this helps

[gremlins-hotel]

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　ANON LOVE　 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

Just wanted to stop by and share what I love about you and it's your art! I could probably ramble on and on and on about your art for pages and pages but only a smidgen of it would even be coherent, especially when writing about the way you draw Russia! And I can't remember the name of the AU, but that render of America standing under I think a sign in the desert? The lighting, the drama, and I'm not sure if you have fics too, but just from that image alone, I just know I would read the HECK out of that!! I also love your archaeology Jones blog and all the stuff I get to learn, something that has to be one of my favorite things about this fandom, thank you for being such a wonderful part of it!

Now spread the love! (But no pressure!) You can tag someone to say what you love about them, or if you're shy like me, drop some love as anon in their inbox! There's never too much love for us to share with each other 💖

so i've had this sitting in my inbox for nearly two weeks, trying to think of how to respond. nothing eloquent came. so i am thanking you from the bottom of my cringe-loving heart and here to spread some of that love in the most obnoxious way possible.

@ironicorange i can't not start with my goof squad, my beloved, my sunbeam. i love you lots, more than i can say. thank you for always letting me be in your dms with insane words and ideas, we both grow closer to delirium each day. watch your back you whore i'm going to steal your hands so i can one day draw like you.

@abbittheturtle my beloved irl bestie, this creature would be wayward without you. you are a fucking jewel and i will eat your art at every opportunity. also seeing you be happy in working with metal and jewelry has been amazing. i hope you continue to enjoy it! i'm wishing you love and luck with your move and good luck in our upcoming semester! i will be coming up there. this is a threat.

@temtamoo our romerica echo chamber and transatlantic 5g connection is so strong dude. your ideas are deep and your art is stunning, i love to hear from you always, regardless of the topic.

@artistically-hershie from late-night crazy au ideas to invading your workplace establishment to give you a soul-crushing hug, seeing messages from you so we can both be giggly and nuts is the best. also ugh, bro, teach me to draw.

@sunnysssol clown duo, clown twins, the dumbass squad. i will slobber for your oc and your art right here, right now. can i just say i specifically love how you color eyes. like bro!! the sol eye stare. trademark it.

@dusklikescats to you, who was one of my first more steadfast buddies after rejoining hetalia, i know you aren't into it much now, but i still light up seeing your messages. you have an energy unmatched and a contagious laugh.

@snackbar-chez-paro i drooled over your art for a long time dude and similar to miq, you became a fast friend. i always adore seeing your headcanons on discord even if you say wonderful things my tiny anglo brain doesn't always understand. you're awesome!

@irlusa you, good sir, are a fucking angel. and i will smooch you on the lips. stop living so far away!! i'm gonna fight the state. you are far kinder than you let yourself think and your art style is so fucking soft i'm gonna sleep on it.

@picturespurple-68 i'm sending you to the camps for revealing my classified secrets (code for i'm definitely going to watch more shows and movies with you someday). you are so very quick on your feet with ideas and always have fun ones to share. i could slurp up your writing like a fuckign smoothie it's so wonderful. i love our conversations and our hangouts.

there are so many more people i would love to ping but then this post would be far too long. return rebloggers and likers and people in my askbox, those whose posts i see on my dash and interact with, names i have come to recognize and associate with the crazy tunglrites, i salute you. and ily guys.

#callsign gremlin checking in #i'm feeling so fucking soft rn it's ridiculous goddamn ily guys #hhrrnngg

[oozeandgoo-art]

Links, tag system, and additional info.

I try to avoid reblogging things to this account - that's what my main blog is for. If you see a reblog on here, feel free to let me know so I can delete it!

I handle all commissions through my professional email, artcommissionsbyred (at) gmail (dot) com. For the foreseeable future, my commissions are closed.

If you would like a heads-up on upcoming commission availability, please subscribe to my mailing list here! (Mailing list subscribers also get earlier or sometimes even exclusive access to things like limited-time slots, which I sometimes do when I'm hard up for quick cash.)

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Main Blog: @bitegore

Rules of Engagement:

This is a sideblog. I have a lot of people blocked from my main blog, none of which are blocked from this blog. It's okay if you've been blocked from my main for you to reblog from this sideblog - I have genuinely thousands of people blocked, for reasons that are arcane and sometimes really stupid even to me, and if you behave in a rude or unpleasant manner I'll just block you from this blog when it comes up. Go nuts.

This blog contains quite a bit of adult-oriented art, all of which is both marked "mature" using Tumblr's content settings and tagged accordingly. Please browse at your own discretion, and remember to use filtering options where necessary.

In general, off-topic commentary in the reblogs, tags, and replies is totally fine and I like seeing what you guys have to say even when it's not directly about the art. That being said, please do not talk about either how much you hate the character in the art or think the art looks bad. "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything" is a good rule to live by, and also it's annoying and rude. Likewise, don't put discourse on my posts. I don't want to hear about it. If you have an opinion about the characters or art that is negative, feel free to make your own post! You can even add my art to it (with a link to this page) if you really want to talk about the art in particular.

Please repost my work only with credit (a link back to this page). Use of my art for avatars, header/sidebar banner images, edits, remixes, collages, and related is entirely okay as long as credit is given. My canon character redesigns are also completely free to use and no credit is required as long as you've done the actual drawing yourself. If you're using my art for something, I'd like to hear about it, but it's not required - it's just really flattering. Please do not remove my captions, however. Just make a repost.

If you want to print one of my pieces for personal use, feel free to reach out to me! I will happily re-color/re-balance the colors so that it will print nicely if I have the time, free of charge. If you want one of my pieces tattooed, go for it, consider this blanket permission. I'd be surprised and I'd love to hear about it, and also I have no qualms at all. Go for it.

Everything is okay to tag as kin/id/etc or claim as muse references. Have fun with it, I don't care. This goes for my ocs too, I really couldn't care less. However, if you disagree on characterization from what I've drawn, please don't tell me about it.

Obligatory "don't be bigoted." This is a racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, xenophobia, religious discrimination, and everything else-free zone. I'm not perfect, and therefore if I've created something that comes over wrong, you are more than welcome to voice your opinion on that, but please approach me in private first*, and message me on my main blog rather than the sideblog as I actually check that account.

Feel free to ask me to tag for more than I currently tag for- either for search reasons or to be able to more easily filter things. I may refuse to use certain tags at my discretion.

-

Tags:

content warnings: all content warnings begin with the phrase "contents" to help disambiguate them from generic phrases.

#contents: a little raunchy for tumblr - not quite dirty, but still running on adult themes. Rated pg-13 instead of nc-17.

#contents: not safe for Tumblr - the Naughty stuff. All should be marked mature already.

#contents: blood - has blood

#contents: gore - has organic/meat gore

#contents: robogore - has robot gore, presented like something other than organic flesh

#contents: death - someone's dead on screen

#contents: flashing - something in the image flashes in a way that may not be safe for photosensitive viewers.

#contents: dubious or nonexistent consent - there is sex or sex acts of dubious or explicitly nonconsensual nature happening on screen.

#contents: all edge and no point - general assorted tag for finding things that are just really edgy for no good reason. suicide jokes and torture and that sort of thing.

fandom-specific tags:

#transformers - transformers art, including humanformers. At this time I don't tag continuity.

#macaddam - safe-for-work transformers art (for search discovery)

#valveplug - spike and valve NSFW transformers art

#plug and play - cable-play NSFW transformers art

#sparkplay - spark-play NSFW transformers art

#humanization - a character that isn't normally a human, depicted as one.

#rukaan and #deer - Fields of Valhalla (deviantart ARPG) art, mostly depicting fantasy deer creatures. (#deer is there for search discovery and being easy to remember; "rukaan" is the actual name of the fantasy species.)

#dragon - there is a dragon. everyone likes those

#scalie - anthro reptiles - in this case, basically all dragons.

#oc - original characters. Everyone's got em, right?

[character names] - tagged as needed for search purposes. Characters with multiple names may or may not be disambiguated at essentially random. OCs are also tagged by name.

personal navigation:

#red redesign g1 stunticons - my stunticon fan redesigns. sometimes you don't want to see fan redesigns, so now it can be filtered - without having to filter anyone else's stuff, even!

#au: androidformers - the specific humanoid-android designs for the transformers G1 "humanformers" au I have lying around.

#fursona - this character is one of my fursonas. Typically this just refers to Taz.

#mass post - if there's a bunch of pictures in one post because I don't think they can really stand on their own merits or are part of a sequence, this lets you filter that away.

#closerverse - art for a personal original universe.

art navigation:

background - art with a significant focus on the background or scenery. This may include photo overpaintings where the background is significantly relevant even if I didn't paint the background by hand.

#monochrome - art in monochrome - may include duochrome (two-color) work. This tag used to be "black and white" - older pieces may still be tagged with that instead.

#lineart - art that is just relatively clean lines

#doodle - unfinished art with a focus on round, smooth lines and cute shapes

#sketch - unfinished art with more jagged shapes and realistic proportions

#traditional media - art made in "real life", typically with some element of digital color or retouching anyway.

#3d - art that uses some element of 3d renders in it, either as part of a painting that was then painted over or as a whole 3d render without painted-on effects.

#photo overpainting - art where I saw a cool photo and painted something into it without repainting the entire photo from scratch, so large chunks were not made by me.

#animation - animated work (typically short looping gifs), stuff where the characters move

#animated effects - animated work where elements move, but the characters are static - flickering light effects, stuff like that.

#meme redraw - art made in the style of a meme. Sometimes this is entirely redrawn and sometimes it's a photo overpainting.

#gift art - art made for other people for free or with minimal direction

#commission - art made on commission with significant input from the client

*Why do this in private? There are a number of reasons: the first, and most relevant, that it means other people aren't going to randomly jump in and change the subject, so we can have an actual conversation rather than something that comes over more like a random accusation I may not fully understand out of the blue. Secondly, I have a solid handful of followers that I expect would probably defend me, and you don't need people jumping down your throat for "attacking" a person they like, especially if you're right but even if I think you're wrong. I also don't want to deal with that. Finally, I don't like being stuck between trying to understand more and feeling like I have to "save face" because the latter is bad for actually learning and growing as a person. I - of course - still do my best to learn in public, but without the pressure of a significant amount of outside observers it's easier for me to form an initial response and have a normal conversation. You can always take it public later, if you're convinced I've done something wrong and won't make amends. At that point I'm sure we're just going to be enemies so asking you not to is gonna go nowhere lmao. I take bigotry and my own biases seriously, but it's possible that after we discuss and I do some of my own research, we may come to different conclusions as to the relative problems with a certain depiction, discussion, or behavior. This is a normal part of socializing. Please give me the grace of holding a conversation with me first before jumping to getting on my case publicly. (If you're scared of reprisal, first of all, don't be because I don't like to do that, but secondly, you can just make a throwaway account to message me with. It's easy.)

#housekeeping #pinned #sfw

[alritestoodeos]

Summoning the OG timeline characters (badly) Pt. 4

Our story begins with the kind and humble Havik, who sees a boy named Shujinko, who is training to be the very best, like no one ever was. Now, Havik resided in Chaosrealm, where the only rule was there were no rules, and he wanted to share this with young Shujinko. So he fucking jumps the kid and Shujinko fairs off against him. Then Havik, being the tweaker he is, is like “Good job bud your training is done. Then Shujinko is like “WTF DO YOU MEAN TRAINING IS DONE U TRIED KILLING ME BITCH” and Havik was like “Yea that’s the training lmfao” and Shujinko’s like “ohhh lmfao. So what’s good g?” and Havik is like “there’s some MCGA asswholes from Orderrealm who want to get rid of the  c h a o s . So I want you to kick they asses and put these silly little armbands on them that says they like chaos” and Shujinko’s like “lmao thats sum good shit. Brb,” and Shujinko leaves, and on his way back he talks to Havik and is like “my man Havik I did it. But why tf was they in a water temple?” and Havik is like “Water’s gucci af” and Shujinko’s like “oh ok lol can i have a key to get a Kamidogu now?” which is an ancient artifact the “elder gods” want him to get, and Havik’s like “oh shi tru here” and he gives shujinko the key. So Shujinko leaves and now Havik is alone again. Yep. All alone. Noothing to do in Chaosrealm except scream and do silly shit. Yep. Very fun. … … … “Oh shit wait I remember some dude telling me that if those Kamodo Dragon things merge together, Onaga the Dragon King will come back and rule over all the realms. Can’t have that. No sir. I hate rules” so Havik makes his way to Onaga’s temple and on the way finds a burned cripple and is like “dude tf are you good?” and he’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “sweet. So tell me about yourself Kabal” and Kabal’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “Oh shit he took your hookswords, too? Damn. Red Dragon ain got no chill. Say why dont you start the black dragon back up with you as the leader?” and Kabal is like “AAAAAAAAAAAAlright. Sounds sick” so Havik heals him up with his silly powers and now Kabal is better than ever, but Havik also had to make him criminally insane bc thats how Chaos magic works. So Kabal and Havik pull up in Earthrelam and they find this Afghani refugee and she’s also criminally inane, and Kabal and Havik are like “come with us” and she’s like “ok” and then they go to new york city and they find this maniac going around robbing and killing people with martial arts and fucking fire and they’re like “sick” and they find him and he’s like “WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE GREAT POWERFUL KOBRA-” and Havik’s like “sick ok you wanna join us?” and Kobra’s like “ok”, and thus Black Dragon: The Squeakquel was formed. And Havik’s like “alr boys plan’s simple. Shujinko’s on his way to resurrect Onaga fsr and we don’t want that because he’ll make everything have rules and stuff. So what we’re gonna do is wait for the heroes of the realms to come by and help Shujinko bc he’s dumb as nuts and doesn’t know what he’s doing, we let everyone kick Onaga’s keester, and that’s when I go in, eat his heart, and we become ruler of the realms” and they’re like “k” and so they go, and sure enough, the heroes of the realms had defeated Onaga. But before Havik could get to Onaga, Nightwolf, one of the heroes, is like “we defeated Onaga, that’s crazy, woah! Let’s send him to Netherealm, the stupid ho!” and so he sends his soul to Netherrealm before Havik could get his heart. And then Havik isn’t really seen until the fight of Armageddon fighting Cyrax, and then he dies like pretty much everyone else.

#mk havik #mk #mortal kombat

[keefwho]

July 18 - 2023 Tuesday

7:25 AM

My friend complains about how she often gets creepy guys that are entitled to her attention and end up being total weirdos about everything. I know it impacts how she feels about herself and I don’t blame her. The closest thing I’ve experienced is being treated in a similar way from people that just want my art or think I own them attention in a professional sense. I hardly let these people get to me because of how I can close myself off but that comes at a cost. I’m realizing how brave it is to be in this kind of situation and still have the capacity to care like she does. Being closed off like I am avoids harmful feedback like this but makes it harder to accept the positive things too. Which is SHIT because I hate giving people power over me. 

5:05 PM

I crave deep connection and the only person I can get that from is busy lately. It’s hard trying to connect with people in general, especially when I don’t have a grip on who I am. If I don’t try REALLY hard, talking to anyone feels almost pointless. And that makes me feel isolated because it feels like a bad thing that I can’t related to very many people, even though I know the core cause and that I AM able to make it better. It doesn’t help that I only have virtual contacts and never leave the 4 walls I find myself confined to. I don’t think any human is meant to put up with what I’ve put myself in for so many years. 

5:27 PM

It’s nice to remind myself that it’s okay to feel sorrow at things that aren’t made up. A lot of my despair comes from my own untrue thoughts, but some things are real. I feel sad that I have nowhere to go, that I’m cooped up here. I’m sad that my bestie is so busy and doesn’t have time to hang out or pursue her own hobbies like she wants. I’m sad that I had a shit childhood that contributed to how seemingly broken I am now. It’s okay to be sad at things like this. They are real. This was triggered by watching a stream of a game where this girl was crying because she was not allowed to leave the house for her own safety. But she had her father and toys, but it wasn’t enough. It reminds me of all the times I would be alone with my own toys. And sometimes mom would play with me but too often I was alone wanting someone to share the fun with. I learned to cope but I don’t want to cope anymore. I want to share and I want to love. 

10:44 PM

Today went okay but as usual my core issue is lacking that self perspective and thinking too much about certain things. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to be conscious that I am a constant living, thinking person and so are the people I interact with. Maybe it’s being confined to this room having such strong routines. It’s easy to lose yourself when you pre-define everything you’re going to do and berate yourself for breaking protocol. 

Anyways for breakfast I had bean with bacon soup and a grilled cheese. Shortly after eating I had unrelated tummy cramps that delayed me from doing my usual morning art stream on time. My warmup sketches were impacted as well. I did do a short stream brought on by my bestie asking if I was going to today because she would watch. My tummy was mostly better at this point so I gave it a try and was able to for about an hour. This meant I slacked on commission time today but I can afford to atm. For a bit I relaxed until I felt a little better and took a shower. I had a wicked nut and enjoyed the mist feature of my showerhead as it turned my bathroom into a sauna I baked in for a bit. Out of the shower I decided to clean up a bit like I hadn’t earlier and took my trash can out to be hosed down before wiping it down with bleach. Can’t have dirty garbage. The process was filthy though so I took another brief shower and changed clothes. For lunch I made a chicken burger but didn’t overcook it this time. I freeze all my perishables including bread and cheese and for some reason I always feel the need to fully cook them all. I usually do this by cooking the patty, assembling the burger, and putting it back in the pan with a lid over it to bake it essentially. Normal it results in a bun that is too hard and some of the flavor gets fucked up. Well today while the patty finished, I put the buns in just to get toasted, put the patty on one after that, and let the cheese melt on top before finishing it. No burnt buns this time. Today’s request and world work were done in my friend’s server again. Sometimes I want to shake it up but I don’t know where to go. Today in particular I wasn’t feeling like hanging out there but I was alone enough to try anyways. I know when I feel like that though, that I’m not there for the best reason and I tend not to connect with people. Afterwards I was hoping to hang out with my bestie soon and was trying to find a way to spend my time. I was watching Twitch but felt very sad about my current circumstances. But it was sad in the way that made me want to do something about it instead of pity myself or let myself be pitied by others. For awhile though I let myself sulk because I feel like I needed that wholesome sadness. Midway through I was checking my favorites on e621 out of boredom and succumbed to my lustful desires. Even though I already nutted earlier, I was gonna do it again and blow myself this time. Just to feel something honestly, I did this for the distraction. It turned out to be a bad idea though because I had pulled my back slightly a few days ago doing this same thing but this time I pulled it way harder. I almost thought I was gonna need a doctor. My friend was also chilling in VC while I did some of this so I was missing that quality time for some BLOW. I streamed myself playing Mother 3 while she did some LinkedIn stuff and worked on producing a pattern for her fursuit head. We discovered this pony show that she was shocked she didn’t know about so hopefully we can try watching it someday soon. 

Sometimes I know what it takes to force myself to get perspective but sometimes I’m scared to become aware. Sometimes it’s easier to just go through the motions even though I know it’s bogging me down and ruining my life. It’s easy to lose and thats what makes it appealing. With this journal though I try to force myself to write about my day and evaluate how it went. Like, I really did all this and am now reporting it. I was there making decisions and experiencing the outcomes. 

What could I have done better today? This morning my tummy hurting caused me to slack a lot but I can’t blame myself for that too much. I still pushed through it and did what I could. I guess instead of joining my friend’s server I could have tried to find someone else to talk to? Or I could have chilled more on my own. I really don’t know what could have been better, it seems like I was fucked either way. Maybe I was lacking that much needed perspective to feel right doing anything at the time. I think I should have avoided nutting a second time, I did it for the wrong reasons. Maybe it is good sometimes to engage in those distractions but in this case I physically hurt myself because I didn’t prepare right. Other than that things felt a little out of my control. All I really want to do is spend more time with my bestie but I’m having to accept that it’s not possible right now. And the only reason I want that is because I can’t find anyone else that fulfills me socially right now. EVERYONE is a drain except for her and my best friend, but he’s always busy and in a different time zone. It seems like the key is to find more people that I don’t have to put up with. People that build me up for once. It almost seems impossible to find them. 

Tomorrow I’m going to keep focusing on reminding myself to look at myself and practice thought defusion techniques some more. I’ll probably write about that because sometimes I have trouble deciding if a thought needs to be defused or not but there are some criteria to check off that determines if a thought may be helpful or not. 

#journal #diary #power #sad #lonely #socializing

[holyalto]

♡ A Sims Tag! ♡

This is from ALMOST a year ago. I seen it in my drafts so it's getting posted NOW because I'm finally playing the sims again lol.

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna!

(original tag by morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy and the original post is here. i was tagged by cosmiksims, thank you!!)

1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name?

either one is fine with me! i go by my nickname on here anyway. my full name is mercedes. :)

2.) Where are you from?

ohio. i have never tasted anything except corn and chocolate covered blobs of peanut butter in my life. someone please help me.

3.) Do you have pets? 👀

yes! my fiance and i have quite a few. we have a cat named tiramisu, a guinea pig named cookie, a bearded dragon named borris, a leopard gecko named anubi and a florida king snake that i call roach because i can't pronounce his real name <3 (and i don't like him rip)

4.) Tell us about your “dream.”

i just want to be a good mother, partner, friend, family member, stranger. that's it. i know it's very simplistic but that's my dream. i want to be a good person.

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies?

my 'art' is playing the sims apparently hahahaha. uhm, i like other video games as well. more simulation management style. things like software inc, jurassic world evolution, project highrise, tropico, ANIMAL CROSSING EEEEE, etc.

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog?

my fiance! he called my bee legacy 'fan fiction' and i nearly died.

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl?

nope.

8.) What are some fun facts about you?

i own every animal crossing main game. i still play pokemon go everyday. i have a six month old son who is VERY cute. and i'm turning 22 next month.

9.) What’s your day job?

i'm a stay at home mom :)

10.) What’s your aesthetic?

uh!! next question because i'm just... slob trait lmao

11.) What kind of artist are you?

i actually went to graphic design school. college sucks hard when you're mentally ill tho lol

12.) How did you get into your form of art?

art - wattpad. i was 12 and started making book covers for people haha. i got really into photo manipulation after that and took that as my focus in vocational school and then went and did about two semesters of it in college. sims - i was 11 and wanted the paranormal pack. my mom went out and bought it for me because i begged for it for days. i played with it daily and eventually collected all of the sims 3 packs except for the last one. it took me a long time to switch to sims 4 after release because i was stubborn. i bought it like four months late, opened it twice, hated that i didn't understand the controls, and refused to play it again until a few months later.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create?

youtube mostly, in the background. a lot of flabaliki/simssupply and buzzfeed unsolved because i love them and their dumb faces so much.

14.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

probably the 'not a thought behind those eyes' tiktok audio

15.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to?

why would i just give away information i may need in the future

16.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names?

yes! i want to but i have some cc that uses that name. so i'll stick with it.

17.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?

i would simply delete my blog.

and now, the tags. only if you’re comfortable though! ♡ just tagging the people i see most in my notifications. don't feel pressured <3 @almost-spring @coatedinhoney @whyhellosims + absolutely anyone else. just say i tagged you.

#taggame #tag game #saviorhide

[ericleo108]

06/30/2023 Click here for Spotify, Apple Music, or Youtube. “Freaky Naughty” is my 50th official release. This song is party music. The song was self-recorded but mixed and mastered by Keyano. The beat is by Tantu and the cover art is made by xoxodesigns from fiverr.

This was a track from the 108 album era in 2021. Just like with “god damn” and “we make the party” I talk about global warming because I promised myself I would talk about the subject in my party music to raise awareness. And because my specialty is edutainment I basically have three things I talk about most if I’m not on a special subject matter for the song. Especially for edutainment, I talk about global warming, American inequality, and expanding upon the meaning of 108. Because my song “Atheist Raps” is currently my best-performing song on Spotify, future lyrics will also consistently talk about atheism which also ties back into the 108 stuff.

This is one of the first party songs I did as Eric Leo 108. I don’t know why but for the longest time I didn’t think it was good enough, which is why it isn’t in the 108 album. I left it. I only decided to get it produced when I found I could get it produced for cheap. It’s based off an old demo and is one of those songs that I want in my catalog but I don’t know if it will be popular. 

The next release “With You” is my last tracked released weekly. Due to budget constraints and wanting to promote established material, I will only be releasing twice a month instead of every week for at least a month. I started releasing once a week to build momentum on social media and the like and it hasn’t really worked. 

The reason I’m not more strict on releasing once a week is because it doesn’t matter. You can check the follower numbers in the description of each YouTube long form sunday update. But just to put it in perspective, releasing once a week and a Word of the day rhyme everyday for almost exactly 4 months has gotten me: 8 followers on twitter, 138 followers on TikTok, 45 on instagram, 51 on YouTube, 14 on Spotify, and lost 17 on soundcloud. You tell me if the effort is worth it

You can see me talk about this blog post from last Sunday’s Update here:

Lyrics:

I got that hip and insipid God-given ridiculous flow

Take a listen my written rhythm a system to know

That love ain’t cute, love ain’t sweet

Most play it like a game where losers weep

I’m just like a squirrel, Try’na get a nut. 

So I run up on my love and hug her on the butt 

Come through style’n, shine’n, wil’n

Feel’n so fly, like Gambino Childish

Where’d you get this shit at? You’re uncle he knows

He grows it, he showed me, let’s get cozy and stoned

We’ll hibernate and find our nature among bears 

We’ll eat a bunch of mushrooms, act weird, and just stare

We’ll come back to reality when we find ourselves

Where we won’t find our thoughts are too bizarre to help 

Had an introspective journey of self-love and respect 

Took too much, ate a bunch, and just slept

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

Come on, let’s rally, take another tally 

Go big like the finale, get naked like it Cali 

If you don’t got looks, go with personality

Don’t have personality, be happy with not mattering

Everything in moderation like the ancient Greeks 

What you got for logic, come on think don’t be sheep

Don’t know if the glass half full or not

But The sun half-whole on the equinox 

It’s all good, it’s alright, 

We gon’ spread some love and have fun tonight

Cheers to good health, yourself, and women

Your dreams coming true and stay’n true to your vision

It’s all good, it’s alright, 

We gon’ spread some love and have fun tonight

Cheers to good health, yourself, and women

Your dreams coming true and stay’n true to your vision

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

This is for those who like to drink responsibly 

Think about plot’n things, triangle their isosceles

Throw another up after metabolizing probably  

Possibly a consumer commodity

Cogs in the economy with smog for the ecology

Global warming leaves more carbon to feed 

The problem is a lack of carbon vacuums such as trees

Forget about the facts, get the cash, run the track

It’s all good, it’s alright, 

We gon’ spread some love and have fun tonight

Cheers to good health, yourself, and women

Your dreams coming true and stay’n true to your vision

It’s all good, it’s alright, 

We gon’ spread some love and have fun tonight

Cheers to good health, yourself, and women

Your dreams coming true and stay’n true to your vision

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted 

Day 365, how you measure a year

In degrees that a circle, sphere 

Proof god loves us is in beer

This one’s for you, here, cheers

Hands up if you like to party 

You and me get freaky naughty 

Uh, let’s get it started 

We don’t stop til we exhausted

#rap #rapper #hiphop #michigan #new music #usa #Spotify #Youtube

[fairy-writes]

Hello! I’m pretty sure you’ve given me a male doctor who matchup before, however I was wondering if I could get a female romantic matchup this time? If not that’s totally okay pls just ignore this ask!

My pronouns are she/her.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I’m usually too much in my head daydreaming and thinking. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: New media art. I love to creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love creating special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. Apart from this, I love digital illustration and character design. I also probably spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, coffee, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.

DISLIKES: physical touch (tho I do warm up to the people I’m close too), my biggest pet peeve is people getting in my personal space and touching my things without asking. I also dislike large crowds, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, and small talk

Thanks You ❤️ I absolutely adore your matchups!

Hello lovely! I hope you like your matchup! Thanks for liking my work!

I pair you with… River Song!

River Song is such a clever person with such a fun personality! She balances out your introverted tendencies and awkwardness with her flirty and flamboyant side. She doesn’t mind that you come across as indifferent. In fact, she finds it fun and exciting! She likes asking about your daydreams and absolutely despises small talk as well. She sees no point in it, so why not have more interesting conversations, right?

She adores your giggly and dorky side! She also loves listening to your hyperfixation ramblings! While at first, she’s a bit of a control nut, she learns to let you do things the way you like to do them unless it means you’re in danger. Then she’ll put her foot down and make sure your safety is her top priority. You both give me Slytherin vibes, so you two would make an absolutely fantastic power couple! While she is a big touchy-feely person, she also keeps herself at a distance, if that makes sense. And she isn’t huge touchy-feely around you, though! She more likes just to flirt and get you flustered that way ;)

Lazy weekend dates! When River Song breaks out of the Stormcages Facility (which is often when it comes to you), the two of you spend a lot of time at your shared house and just watch films or go out to arcades or have the BEST discussions about anything and everything! Also cooking! River has dated a lot of different people and therefore picked up a lot of different skills, and one of those is cooking! She loves to cook with you, and honestly, you make her feel normal, and she adores it :)

#fairytailwzard matchups #fairytailwzard matchup #doctor who #dr who #river song #melody pond #doctor who river song #dr who river song #doctor who river #dr who river

[dreamescapeswriting]

Rent An Oppa ~ HHJ [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.5K 

 PAIRING: Hyunjin x Reader

GENRE: non idol AU, strangers to lovers, rent an oppa, fluffy, a little angst but nothing too major, pining for one another, first kiss, 

A/N: I made this one a fluffy one without smut hunny, I hope that this is okay hunny

 Moving to South Korea was one of the best decisions you'd ever made. It had been your dream for years to move somewhere that wasn’t where you were from. You’d finally made it happen, you were here. Sitting in your new apartment staring out at all of the sights that you could see. The apartment you’d gotten was a loft apartment which was something you’d never thought of having before, but it was perfect. The ground floor was open plan, besides the bathroom of course and you had large floor to ceiling windows that looked out at the city of Seoul. Your bedroom was just up a flight of stairs and it looked out at the ground floor, it was unbelievably perfect for your first home in Seoul. There was only one thing wrong with everything and that was that you didn’t know your way around. Sure there were maps and people you could ask for help but you wanted a tour guide.

You’d seen an app being advertised on your plane ride over which you were tempted to use. “Rent an Oppa.” It sounded like it was straight out of a K-Drama but it was real and monitored wonderfully. Everyone had a screening test, background test and everything is done before they were allowed to become an “Oppa” for the app. 

“Let’s see what this is then,” You mumbled to yourself as you sat down on your sofa, pulling your knees up to your chest as you began to scroll through the app. Everyone had profiles set up with verification photos to prove that they were who they said they were, then there were some small descriptions about the boys or girls there. 

Endlessly scrolling and swiping through profiles you couldn’t find anyone you thought you would get along well with. You wanted someone that you had things in common with, if you were going to be paying them for their time you might as well do something you both enjoy doing it.

About to give up hope and go at it alone a profile popped up. A new profile that caught your eye. The photo was of a boy around 21-years-old standing on top of a rooftop, dressed in a smart shirt and tie aiming a camera at whoever was taking the photo of him. Photography-nut was written in his profile making you giggle a little as you flicked through his images. In each of them, it began to reveal his face and mid-length blonde hair. He looked as though he was really sweet and kind, the kind of boy you took to meet your parents.

“Hyunjin,” You smiled as you said his name, swiping onto his profile to see what rates he was charging. It wasn’t expensive and just in your budget range so you messaged him. There was no harm in seeing if he was free that day. 

[12:03] Y/n: 

 Hi there, I’m not entirely sure how this thing works 😅😅 but could we arrange a meetup? I’m new in Seoul and need a tour guide 🥰

Staring at the phone you debated with yourself if that was the right way to start a conversation with someone on the app. There was no tutorial on how to message them or if you had to wait for them to message you first. 

[12:07] Hyunjin 🍀 

Hey! I would love to arrange a meetup. I can meet you anywhere you feel comfortable! Welcome to Seoul! 💞🌺

Smiling to yourself you gave him the address to the shop right beside your apartment building. It was the only play you really knew so far and you wanted to meet him somewhere you knew the exact location of. Rather than wandering around lost trying to find somewhere to meet him you didn’t know yet.

Dressed in a long-sleeved Beige shirt-dress and some black leggings you waited outside the shop, acting as though you were busy on your phone so you didn’t look as though you were staring out for Hyunjin. It was already going to be awkward enough without you looking around gormlessly for him.

“Hey,” A voice called out making you jump a little as you looked up from your phone to see him. He was identical to his photos though his hair was a little longer now. 

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” You shook his hand and he smiled nodding his head, 

“I’m Hyunjin and I know this is probably going to be awkward for a while so I hope we can become friends throughout it,” He smiled as he let go of your hand. This time you looked at him you took in his whole appearance, he was wearing a black and white striped turtle neck and some black jeans. 

“I’m new to the app so we’re both doing firsts here,” He smiled as he looked around you both, taking in everything around him as he tried to figure out what you could do for the day. 

“It’s still quite early in the afternoon...I can show you around, show you all of the shops, shopping mall and just around Seoul itself if you like?” You were completely taken by his voice, appearance and how sweet he was being with you. 

“I would love that, the only place I know is the shop and my apartment.” You laughed weakly as he nodded his head. 

“Would you mind if I linked our arms?” You shook your head and you linked arms with one another as he began to lead you down the road. 

“So what brings you to Seoul?” He questioned as he tried to break the ice. It was nice that he was trying, you had rented him for the rest of the day and you were going to have to get to know each other. 

“I fancied a change in pace. I’ve always loved South Korea and the culture,” You admitted as your eyes glanced around at all of the people you were pacing. Everyone in their own worlds as they went about their daily lives. Each person you saw looked as though they had been plucked out of a fashion magazine, their outfits were so effortless yet stood out in the large crowds. 

“When did you get here?” He asked as he waited at the side of the road for lights to change and you could cross without being in any kind of danger. 

“About two days ago...I’ve been locked up in my apartment eating Ramen. I was so worried I’d get lost.” You groaned thinking back on it while Hyunjin laughed a little, shaking his head. 

“I’ll add a shopping trip on our list of things to do. I can’t have you living off only ramen.” He chuckled and your whole heart seemed to swell up when you saw the smile on his face. It was honestly one of the prettiest smiles you’d seen and his dimples were so deep you wanted to reach up and poke them. But you didn’t.

The rules of the app were very simple. No inappropriate touching, no exchange of social media or phone numbers. Once the dates were over that was it unless you rented another one but only through the app. 

“I should take you to see Cheonggyecheon River, a small walk down and we’ll be at the nicest cafes,” Hyunjin explained as he seemed to be enjoying this almost as much as you were,

“So why did you join the app?” You questioned as you looked at him, it had been a question on your mind since seeing him on the app. 

“I needed the extra cash for art supplies...I’m studying at the moment so this seemed to be the perfect side job.” He explained as he began heading down some stairs towards a small river that ran through the city.

“Cheonggyecheon River,” You whispered as you looked around, it had only been something you’d seen in photos but now it was real.

“So you do art?” You questioned as you went back to looking up at Hyunjin while you walked. 

“Yeah. I try to, I’m learning to draw, I thought it would be fun.” You smiled wanting to know more about it. 

“Do you have any pictures?” He nodded as he sat down on an empty bench with you, pulling out his phone to show you photos of the drawings he’d been doing in his spare time. 

“These are amazing! You did these?” You were truly shocked to see someone who was just learning to draw create amazing pieces as he had done. Some were anime characters, others were drawings of himself and another was a drawing of a dog.

“This is my favourite,” You told him as you looked at the Chihuhaha drawing he’d done, 

“My little Kkami, I missed him so I drew him from a photo.” You smiled at the drawing again, 

“Do you not get to see him much?” He shook his head as he looked out at the water. 

“I live in a dorm with seven guys who are studying, Kkami is at home with my family.” Your heart clenched at the thought of him not getting to see his dog much, 

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head at you, you had nothing to be sorry for. 

“Don’t be, it makes the time I have with him all the more special. Shall we start to go?” You nodded getting up from the bench once more and heading in the direction he was leading you in. 

The two of you had gotten to know each other more on your walk over to the supermarket, getting to know about him and all his roommates that seemed adventurous. 

“Felix came here at 2 am once just to get baking ingredients.” He laughed as he pushed the trolley around the store, adding things he thought you would enjoy as well as ingredients to make Kimchi with.

“Why was he baking at 2 in the morning?” You laughed adding some pasta products into the trolley, looking around at everything in shock. It was so much larger than any other supermarket you had been in and it was empty. Hardly anyone besides you and Hyunjin was around and there was soft music playing through some speakers.

“It’s Felix, who knows why he does what he does,” He laughed as he watched you. You were standing in front of ramen packets and he smirked a little, 

“You could get the cups. They’ll be better for you and cheaper in price.” Thanking him you added a bunch into the trolley and smiled a little, 

“Noodles are the only thing I can successfully cook.” You chuckled while Hyunjin shook his head at you, 

“I need to give you cooking lessons but we’re almost out of the day...I can send you some cooking books if you like.” The thought of the day almost being over made you sad to think you’d never see him again. 

“I could book you for another day? I would love to learn to cook from someone who’s lived here their whole life,” Yes. That was the reason. Totally not because every time he smiled or laughed your heart fluttered. Hyunjin’s heart seemed to flutter at the thought of getting to meet you again, although he was getting paid to hang out with you it didn’t feel forced. It felt natural to be around you as though he had known you for years and he couldn’t wait to do it all over again.

“Sure! We should get some ingredients to cook with tomorrow. Your Kimchi will stay good for three to six months if you keep it in the fridge and once you know-how. You’re pretty much great for everything,” You smiled before nodding. Both of you grabbing more and more ingredients for recipes you could freeze and add to the freezer.

Laying in bed that night you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at the day you had. Hyunjin bought you home in a cab, helping you in with the bags before he helped you put everything away. You’d already paid him before he got home and booked another day together but none of it felt like a job or obligation to either of you. Hyunjin went home with a giant smile on his face having enjoyed the day much more than he had expected to. 

“I told you that you’d have fun,” Chan said as he walked into the kitchen later that night to see Hyunjin couldn’t stop smiling. 

“I had a lot, she’s amazing Hyung.” He explained as he began to pour himself some hot chocolate and get ready for a few hours of studying before bed. 

“Just don’t get attached. The rules were simple Hyunjin.” He nodded as he headed back to his dorm room to find Felix sitting there waiting for everything that had happened that day.

“Felix made cookies.” Was the first thing Hyunjin said to you as you opened the door to see him standing there. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt, a grey jacket and some shorts. It was the hottest day of the year. 

“His famous ones?!” You asked a little too excitedly as you saw the Tupperware box filled to the brim with cookies all of different shapes and sizes.

“He was baking last night and he thought I could share them.” It was a lie. Hyunjin had practically begged Felix to bake you some the night before. He’d told you so much about them and he’d seen the look on your face when he mentioned them. He wanted you to try them.

“Tell him I said thanks,” You hummed as bit down into one of the cookies, instantly rolling your head back at the taste of them. 

"He could run his own bakery, oh my goodness," Hyunjin smiled as he walked into the kitchen pulling out an apron he'd brought from the dorms and getting ready to help you cook. 

"We'll start with the Kimchi, it'll be the best thing to start with and then whatever you're planning for your dinner." You nodded at him, finishing off the cookie before you washed up and pulled on an apron you'd gotten from the store yesterday.

While you were chopping and washing up the ingredients Hyunjin was telling you everything you needed to do. 

"You know you should be a chef...Or give out cooking classes." You told him as you began adding all of the ingredients together. 

"I would give you five stars," He laughed softly as he looked at you, 

"Like a Michelin chef?" You nodded at him as you continued to add everything together. Hyunjin laughing a little as he began to stir some of the stew he'd been making, scooping some up for you. 

"You've reached the peak of taste, you'll never go back to normal food I promise." He laughed as you hummed at the taste of the stew. 

"You'll have to take some home with you, there's no way I'll eat all this to myself." You mentioned as you stared at the huge stew pot he was cooking with. 

"I'm sure the guys would love it," Hyunjin said before adding a little more spice to the stew and leaving it.

The two of you camped out on your sofa for hours just spending time getting to know one another. He told you all about his life at the dorms while you told him about life back at home. 

"Do you miss it?" He asked as he bit into one of the cookies and looked at you,

"Sometimes. I miss the people more than the place but it's home." You frowned thinking back on your time, it wasn't as though you were never going to go back again, but this was your life now.

"I suppose that's how it is with many people." He smiled weakly putting down his plate and looking at the time, he only had an hour left with you before he had to head home for the night. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" You shrugged your shoulders as you thought about it. Nothing was planned for at least a month, your job was waiting for some final paperwork to be done.

"Nothing that I know of,"

"Do you want to go to Seoul Tower, it's one of the best tourist spots. I think you'll enjoy it there," You smiled while nodding your head, wanting to spend all of the time in the world with Hyunjin. For as long as you could at least.

"Sure!" You smiled at him before going over to the stew to get everything put into smaller tubs for him to take home. The subject of payment was growing closer and neither of you wanted to feel awkward about talking about it again.

"Hyunjin. You're growing attached," Chan warned as soon as Hyunjin stepped through the door that night. All eight of the boys were on the app to earn some extra cash and for them, it had been routine days out. A cafe, a shopping spree here and there but that was it. None of them ever spent so much time getting to know their clients or even cook with them. 

"I'm not. She's just being a nice friend Hyung," He complained as he placed the stew down onto the counter. Calling out to the boys that there was food if anybody was hungry for it.

"She's a client Hyunjin. Nothing more." He rolled his eyes as he listened to Chan bring up the subject of the rules again. 

"No exchanging numbers, social media or inappropriate touching. I know Hyung, Gosh what do you think we're doing? Fucking in some park?" He grumbled taking a cookie and heading for his bedroom. He didn't want to hear the same speech over and over again reminding him that he couldn't have you the way that he wanted. There were feelings growing between you and he knew he was never going to be able to act on them and it killed him inside.

The days you spent together began to grow more and more and you forgot that this wasn't just friends hanging out together. That you were paying him for spending time with you. That was until the end of the night when you would wire transfer him the cash when he left leaving you both feeling awkward the next morning. Only for that to fade whenever you got on with the day that you had planned together. You'd seen almost every tourist attraction there. Hyunjin took you to Nami Island, ice cream dates, cafe dates, Seoul Tower and today you were going to Gyeongbokgung Palace.

"Everything okay? You seem quiet." He chuckled as you waited in line together to get tickets for the palace. Your eyes wandered up to him as you smiled weakly. 

"Fine...I just can't wait to get in there." You lied not wanting to make anything between you more awkward than it had to be. 

The palace was beautiful and filled with history Hyunjin couldn't wait to tell you about it. Explaining everything and tell you all of the facts he knew about the palace. 

"Did you come here a lot?" You asked as you both sat down on some grass patches by one of the lakes. He'd brought along a picnic basket and a blanket for the two of you. The basket was filled with food he’d cooked and baked goods Felix had been forced to make once again, 

“When I was a kid. I love history so I used to beg mum into taking me.” He laughed as he remembered all of the weekends he would spend there, learning about everything that he could.

“That’s amazing,” You smiled as he held up a spoon to your lips, spoon-feeding you some yoghurt he had bought along with him. You hummed letting him feed you when you looked around at different people around you. Lots of couples were doing the same thing as you both. Sitting together on the grass as they fed one another. 

“Hey I was-” Hyunjin stopped speaking when you turned to look at him, neither of you realising how close you were to one another until your lips almost touched. Neither of you moved. You just stared at him, eyes flicking from his lips to his mouth your whole body aching to lean in and kiss him. But you didn’t. You sat there looking at him as he looked at you. 

No one would have to know, he could just lean down and kiss you right now and no one would know about it. It wasn’t as though there were guards on the apps that tracked their every move. Placing down the spoon he looked at you, scooting closer to you as he watched to see if your facial expression changed at all. His right hand slowly rose to your face and he cupped your face in his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip as you let out a small whimper. 

“If I do this, there’s no going back.” You shrugged your shoulder. You didn’t want to go back. You wanted his lips on yours, you didn’t care about anything else.

Hyunjin pressed his lips against yours and instantly it was sweet yet filled with passion, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck as you kissed him back. Lips moving in sync with one another as he pulled you closer to him. The world around you faded away as you made out on the small patch of grass together, forgetting that he was paid to be there and you were renting him for the day. None of that mattered when you felt the way you did. Your whole body prickling with tingles as he kissed you. Lips parting and tongues touching. Everything around you was gone. All you cared about was this moment. 

After taking you home Hyunjin came in to have hot chocolate with you, well over his intended time limit and continued to kiss you. Cuddle you. Only making you yearn for him to stay longer but he had to go home. He had classes the next day.

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” You admitted as you stood by the front door of your apartment. Neither of you moving as you stared up at him. It was your last week before work and you could no longer afford to pay him. Though the subjects of paying for dates had gotten too weird for you and Hyunjin to talk about. 

“I’m sure we’ll see each other around,” He sighed knowing he couldn’t give you his number or any way of contacting him outside of the app. He’d hoped he’d told you enough about his personal life for you to accidentally bump into one another somewhere. 

“Hyunjin I think-” He kissed you softly not wanting you to finish the sentence. He was getting feelings for you too but admitting them out loud would make him stay and he couldn’t. 

“I will see you around,” He whispered putting an emphasis on the “will” before he leant down to kiss you one last time. His hands on your waist as he smiled against your lips, pulling away and leaving you alone. 

Weeks passed by and Hyunjin saw no sign of you in any of the spots he had told you about, he even made an effort to walk by your apartment building every night home from classes but there was no sign of you.

“You’ve been so weird lately. Why haven’t you been going to see Y/n?” Felix grumbled as he rolled over in bed one night to see Hyunjin laying wide awake at almost 1 am. Just sitting there and staring at the top of the bunk bed he was under. 

“I can’t...I have feelings for her and I didn’t want to keep taking her money.”  Crawling down from the top bunk Felix came to see Hyunjin. He was fully dressed and staring at the ceiling still. 

“It’s creepy. Stop staring like that. Just go and “accidentally” bump into her...What’s the problem?” Hyunjin sat up and shook his head, 

“You don’t think I’ve been trying that? I’ve been walking by her apartment building almost every night. Sitting in cafes...Maybe I was reading into it wrong.” Hyunjin’s phone flashed up and he darted toward it only to see it was an email from the Rent an Oppa app telling him that his account was deactivated. 

“You quit?”

“I didn’t want to do it anymore.” He mumbled before getting up from the bed and grabbing a jacket, 

“Where are you going? It’s almost 1:30?” Hyunjin said nothing as he left the bedroom.

The account was gone and all that was left was a stupid message telling you that Hyunjin has left the account. Staring down at your phone you hated yourself for not messaging him sooner to arrange something. You had to see him again. For the last two weeks, you had been going to what he said was his favourite cafe and waiting for him. You’d do the paperwork for work there, read books. You’d been in there so much the owner knew you by name.

“I’ll make you some goodnight tea,” The elderly owner whispered as she walked over to your table. They were open 24 hours which was nice at times like this when you couldn’t get to sleep. 

“Thank you,” You whispered as you went back to looking through the paperwork you had to finish. The job wasn’t what you expected it to be so you were trying to file paperwork whilst look for something else to do there. 

“Nightcap for you too?” The elderly woman called out to someone who had just walked through the door. Frowning to yourself you glanced up to see a hoodied boy walk through the shop and stand at the counter. 

“You’re not alone tonight. Someone else who can’t sleep,” The hoodied boy began to turn and as soon as you locked eyes your heart lept to your throat. 

“Hyunjin?” You whispered to yourself as he began heading over to your table, eyes wide as he saw you sitting there. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” He laughed as he sat down beside you, both of you just as happy to see each other. 

“I-I’ve been coming here almost every day,” You admitted as he looked at you, hands finding yours and holding onto them as tightly as he could. He never would have thought you would come here, he’d only mentioned it once and how much it meant to him. 

“I only told you about this place once,”

“I could see how much it meant to you...I thought I might catch you here and then we could...Go on a normal date.” He let out a breathy chuckle as he nodded his head. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m paying.” He told you as he kissed your lips softly. All of a sudden all of those weeks away from one another melted into nothingness. It was just the two of you together once again giving you the freedom to date, exchange numbers and hang out without some pesky app or their rules in the way. 

Tagline: @minholuvs​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​

#skz #skz x reader #skz x you #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin imagines

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 1)

Summary: When the reader is looking for her teenage sister’s service dog one day, she runs into Dean Winchester who thankfully saw him run past. When she arrives, her sister is fine aside from a sprained ankle but Dean’s decided to follow along and help get her sister home...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,200ish

Warnings: language, minor injury, mention of car accident/death

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Please enjoy this first part! …

_________

“Toast! Toast!” you shouted as you ran down a street. “Toast boy!”

“Uh, you okay?” said a guy walking on the other side of the street. He was raising an eyebrow and you shook your head.

“Toast is a dog,” you said.

“Oh, gotcha. I thought you were nuts for a minute,” he chuckled.

“You haven’t seen a german shepard around have you?” you asked.

“I saw one run down the block a few minutes ago,” he said. You looked the direction he pointed and you started sprinting. “Hey!”

“Sorry! Can’t talk!” you shouted back. You ran down the block and across the street over to the park. You ran over to the basketball court and saw Toast there next to Tessa. She was sat up and holding onto his vest when you jogged over to her. “Tess. Are you okay? Did you have a seizure?”

“No,” she said with a laugh. She was holding her ankle and you saw the swelling. “I think I broke it playing. My phone’s over in my bag. I told Toast to get it but I guess he ran home and got you instead.”

“He barged in through the doggy door, I thought he was just nuts at first,” you said. You heard footsteps behind you and the man from the street was there panting.

“You found your dog,” he said as he caught his breath. 

“Yeah,” you said, the man wincing when he saw Tessa’s ankle. “We’re all set.”

“She needs a doctor,” he said.

“Tessa, you okay here while I run home to get my car?” you asked.

“Yeah I’m fine,” she said. “Toast’ll stay.”

“I can carry her,” said the man. You both stared at him and he shrugged. “Save you a trip.”

“Are you some kind of weirdo?” you asked. 

“Says the woman running through the neighborhood shouting Toast,” he smiled back.

“Alright. Tess if you’re cool with it…” you said, the man nodding.

“Dean Winchester.”

“Dean will carry you back to the house and I’ll drive you to urgent care,” you said. “If you do try anything though Dean, Toast will rip your face and junk off, just to be clear.”

“Got the message,” he said. Tessa climbed on his back and he was careful of her ankle while you grabbed her bag. You walked with Toast by Dean’s side back the few blocks towards home. “I think it’s just a sprain actually. I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“You play basketball?” you asked.

“No. I’m a doctor is all. First glance it doesn’t look too bad.”

“Are you single? Y/N’s single,” she said.

“You’re a little shit, Tessa,” you said. Dean chuckled and Toast bumped his leg. “He wants you to get on the sidewalk.”

“Will do,” he said, Toast giving some space once he’d stepped up off the road. “He’s very intelligent.”

“We’ve only had Toast two years but he’s been very good with us,” you said. “He’s Tessa’s. I just feed him and pick up his poop.”

“I have school, loser.”

“I have work, loser,” you said. 

“You guys must be sisters,” he said. “I’m a big brother. I would know.”

“If your younger brother is single and half as good looking-”

“Keep it in your pants, Tess,” you said. 

“I like you two,” he chuckled. “Sorry Tessa but he’s probably a little too old for you.”

“They always are,” she sighed.

“You’re seventeen. You’re fine,” you said. “Besides college has way more attractive guys and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, Elmdale community college. Known for it’s hotties,” she mumbled.

“Elmdale University has some good choices,” you said.

“I thought it was too expensive,” she said.

“Well I was gonna tell you this at dinner but I applied for a different job awhile ago. I heard back this morning. I accepted. It’s double what I was making before.”

“Really?”

“Yes. With your grades you can get a half-ride and I figure between inheritance and my new salary, you can do your four year out of the gate without loans,” you said.

“Thanks, Y/N,” she said quietly. “Really.”

“You still need your part-time job if you want to get stuff for yourself though. I’m sorry. I can’t make it work if-”

“S’okay,” she said. “I can’t believe I can go to the university.”

“I called up the school earlier and talked to your guidance counselor. We gotta work on your application but we can make it work,” you said.

“Can I get a car? I know I can’t afford room and board but maybe I can get something used so you don’t have to drive me all the time?” she asked.

“Tessa…” you sighed. You knew you couldn’t afford insurance on two cars at the moment and everything else and she wouldn’t make enough part time to cover all the car expenses herself. “I-”

“I can pick up more shifts,” she said.

“Tessa, I want you to enjoy college. I sure did. I’ll give you rides whenever you want. I’ll drop you off in the morning and pick you up at night. That would work, right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t even care about my ankle. I can get my art degree!” she said.

“Tessa.”

“I’m joking,” she laughed. “Art minor?”

“You can minor in whatever you like but please for my sanity major in something you can get a job in?” you asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said. You rounded a corner and started to walk up a driveway, Dean setting Tessa down in the passenger seat of your car. You opened the back and Toast jumped in, Dean smiling when you shut both the doors.

“Thanks,” you said. “For helping us out.”

“Sounds like you two know how to solve problems on your own,” he said. “Happy to help. Here.”

He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a card.

“If you ever need a doctor, I’m two blocks over,” he said. “Or just to talk.”

“Thanks,” you said. “I’ll see you around, Dean.”

It was around nine when you were sitting on the front porch with a glass of whiskey in your hand. You drank slowly, eyes catching a man in a baseball cap and reflective shirt jogging by.

“Do you always run at night?” you called, Dean stopping at your front walkway. “Cause I never see you run at night and I sit out here a lot.”

“Whew well let’s stop that charade cause running is so not my thing,” he said. He breathed hard for a moment as he walked up the steps. You nodded to the other chair and poured him a glass, Dean drinking it down. “Your sister okay?”

“Yeah. Just a sprain,” you said. “Still gotta pay the deductible for the x-ray though.”

“How old are you?”

“How old are you?” you asked.

“Thirty one,” he said.

“Twenty eight.”

“Where are your folks?” he asked.

“They and Tessa were in an accident two years ago. It’s just us two now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m slowly getting used to be a guardian,” you said.

“I raised my little brother. My parents are still around but they fought a lot. I get becoming the parent when you’re not ready.”

“Do you ever get to just be a sibling again?” you asked.

“Yes. But they have to grow up first and you got a few more years ahead of you before it happens,” he said.

“I figured.”

“What does she have? Toast is a service dog I saw.”

“She gets seizures sometimes. It’s from the accident. She hasn’t had one in seven months. Fingers crossed we got her on the right mix of meds finally,” you said.

“So who takes care of you?”

“My buddy Jack Daniels. Sometimes I hang out Jim Bean too.”

“I’m partial to Johnny Walker,” smiled Dean.

“Very nice. I don’t drink much. Too tired most of the time,” you said.

“So nobody takes care of you then.”

“Who takes care of you?”

“Good point,” he said. “But I didn’t have it this rough.”

“We’re getting by. We always do.”

“I have no doubt that you can,” he said. “Take care of yourself every once in a while is all.”

“When she’s done with school I will.”

“She’s got five years left. You won’t last that long,” he said.

“Watch me.”

“Who worked on your sister at the urgent care tonight?”

“Dr. Novak. Why?”

“Cas is a good friend. I’ll see about getting that x-ray test off the bill,” he said as he stood up.

“Dean, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s no trouble,” he said, heading down the steps. “You want me to leave you alone from now on?”

“...No.”

“You want to go on a date tomorrow?”

“Okay,” you said.

“I’ll pick you up at noon? I’m buying. Nothing too fancy,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. He smiled and nodded, spinning around and sliding right off the last two steps to his bottom. You rushed down them and he groaned, shaking his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yup,” he said, grunting as he stood. “Oh my ass hurts.”

“That’s what she said,” you said, Dean laughing.

“I definitely like you,” he said as you helped him take a few steps. “I’m alright. I’ll swing by tomorrow then.”

“Bye Dean,” you said.

“Bye Dean!” called Tessa from her bedroom window upstairs.

“Oh my God, go to bed!” you shouted back.

“It’s nine and I’m not twelve,” she said.

“Goodnight ladies,” chuckled Dean, waving as he headed back down the path. You gathered up the bottle and glasses, bringing them inside and locking up for the night. A few minutes later you were upstairs in Tessa’s room, frowning as she giggled while looking through her phone.

“Oh come on,” she said as she rolled her eyes at you. “He’s cute, he’s a doctor, he’s single and he’s a dork that just fell on his butt in front of you cause he’s so nervous and trying to play it cool. Like what is wrong with him?”

“Nothing. We have a date tomorrow,” you said, leaning against the doorframe. 

“We used to talk about guys,” she said. 

“I know,” you said. You picked at the wood, Tessa putting her phone down.

“Y/N. You’re not my mom. I know you gotta act like her sometimes but you’re not. Mom and dad would want you to go on dates and stuff. I haven’t seen you do anything fun in years.”

“I barely knew how to be an adult for just me,” you said. “You’re my priority now.”

“I’m not in a hospital bed anymore. My seizures are under control and I got Toast to watch out for me just in case. Dean had a point. You gotta take care of yourself,” she said. “Including me going to community college.”

“Tessa-”

“It’s both our inheritance and you can’t spend all of it on me. I can do two years at community and transfer to the university after.”

“Tess. You don’t have to do that. I did the math and it’ll work out.”

“When’s the last time you bought something for yourself? Seriously when?”

“I bought a new bedspread two weeks ago.”

“You needed one. That doesn’t count. When-”

“Before mom and dad died, Tess. Is that what you want me to say? They made good money but you had medical bills. Do I want a new winter coat? Sure. Do I want to splurge and by myself a nice pair of leggings? Of course. I want things. But I want us to stay in this house. I don’t want us to get shoved in a tiny apartment. I want you to be able to go to college like I did and not worry about this crap. I’m the grown up, not you. I choose how to spend the money.”

“Fine,” she said. She grabbed the crutch by her bed and got up, going to her dresser. She opened her jewelry box and grabbed a wad of cash, holding it out to you. “It’s three hundred. I want you to have it.”

“Tessa, no.”

“I earned it. I get to choose how to spend it,” she said. “You’ve always told me that. Buy a coat and leggings and whatever else you want.”

“Tessa. It’s yours. You were saving up to buy an iphone.”

“I don’t need a fucking phone. I need my sister to stop looking like she cries herself to sleep every night. Just take it,” she said. You shook your head and she shoved the money in your hand. “Y/N, take it.”

“Alright,” you said. 

“Good.” She waited a beat before pulling you into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said. “You got plans tomorrow night?”

“I was gonna sleepover Hailey’s house if that’s okay?” she said.

“Yeah. You guys have fun,” you said. “Just be careful on your ankle.”

“Duh,” she said. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“I’m kinda beat. Sunday for sure?” you said. 

“Okay. Night,” she said.

“Night, Tess,” you said. You went next door to your room, opening your desk drawer and opening the envelope inside. You counted the money she’d given you and added it to the front. You definitely had enough for her phone now and her birthday was only a few weeks away. You smiled and put it away, writing out a few bills before you gathered up your pajamas and walked down the hall to the bathroom. You kept going though, down to the shut door. You pushed it open, the room cold and dark. You flipped on a light, a coating of dust on everything again.

“Y/N?” said Tessa from the other end of the hall. You turned off the light and shut the door, Tessa by the bathroom when you walked back. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna shower quick before bed. Shout if you need something.”

“Yeah. Night.”

Dean POV

“Hey, Sammy,” said Dean after he’d gotten out of the shower and was laying in bed. 

“Hey, Dean. What’s up?” asked Sam on the other end of the phone. 

“I think I just went full on weirdo on this girl I met today.”

“Well that’s obvious but what’d you do? You didn’t like stalk her or anything.”

“She lives in the neighborhood. I kinda went jogging past her house tonight and she was sat on the front porch.”

“Okay that’s kinda creepy,” said Sam. Dean ran his hand over his face and sighed. “Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I gave off creeper vibes but she might have just been polite. I don’t know. We’re going out tomorrow,” said Dean. He was quiet as he shut his eyes. “Which sucks cause I really like her too. I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird.”

“Maybe she’ll have pity on you and let it slide. Where’d you meet her? I thought you swore off women after your last hookup went bad,” he said. Dean didn’t speak and ran his hand over his face again. “De I know something happened that night.”

“Sammy I got tired of hooking up. I’m too old for it. I just want a girl to go home to at the end of the day and laugh with. That’s all there is to it,” said Dean.

“Dean I was still living with you at the time. You were off for days. I know-”

“If you’re gonna bring this shit up again-”

“I’m just saying it’s nice to hear you excited about a girl again...and you can tell me anything. Anything, Dean. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You’re twenty seven. You’re a kid,” said Dean. He rolled over on the bed and lay on his stomach, putting his hands under his chin. “Some things I just don’t tell you about, Sam.”

“Dean, I asked you to stop raising me awhile ago. You’re not my father anymore.”

“I still gotta protect you from stuff,” said Dean with a shrug.

“I get that. But my mind has gone to the worst case scenario on this more than once. Just promise it wasn’t that,” said Sam.

“Sammy, I called to talk about a girl.”

“You want things to work out with her? Then figure out whatever the hell happened in the past so it doesn’t happen again.”

“You don’t understand,” said Dean. 

“Whatever. Just crack a joke next time you see her,” said Sam. He hung up and Dean looked at his phone, sighing before he jammed his face in the bed. He gripped the sheets tight and felt his heart rate pick up, bile rising up in the back of his throat.

“Stop. It,” he said to himself, forcing himself to sit up. He wiped off his eye and dropped his head to his chest. “It’s just a fucking girl. It’s just a girl, it’s just a date. It’s all it is.”

He saw his phone light up and Sam’s name appear. He swiped and put it on speaker before he faced away from it.

“I’m sorry,” said Sam. 

“It’s okay,” said Dean, freezing when he sniffled. He stared at the phone and Sam cleared his throat.

“You alright?” Dean stared at the phone and shook his head. “De, you there?”

“Are you alone?” he asked.

“Yes��” said Sam. “It’s just me.”

“You repeat a word of this to anybody or you laugh or you tease me or-”

“Hey. I’d rather we not have this conversation over the phone. I can be there in an hour.”

“...Fine but you better bring some pie with you.”

“I’ll see you in an hour, Dean.”

______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

#spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #doctor!dean #au!dean x reader #dean x #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #doctor!dean x reader

[dreaminpetals]

ong pls i love ur writing so much 😭😭❤️ could you do luca sfw/nsfw relationship hcs?? 😳😳

🔧 sfw & nsfw luca relationship hcs . . .

art credit

SFW ;;

♡ you're luca's favourite human being and the first person he goes to when he needs to geek out about a new invention or discovery he's made.

♡ luca isn't as social as he seems, he likes being on good terms with people so they don't misunderstand his prisoner title or fear him during matches but it's hard for him to take the next step and actually make friends. so if he ever needed to talk about anything he'd go to you.

♡ since he's so affection starved prepare to have him talk your ear off, there's so many things he's wanted to talk about but hasn't been able to.

♡ his whole life he's struggled with his side of the story being heard and he most definitely had his spirit broken in prison so to have someone who looks forward to hearing from him everyday? he gets bashful just thinking about it.

♡ if anything bothers him he loves to rant while pacing around the room, then you pspspsps him into bed and snuggle his problems away.

♡ by being his partner you've signed an unofficial contract to be his human pillow, have fun with his drooling and snoring!!!

♡ his mood changes a lot but being around you helps regulate it because he's always goofily happy when he sees you.

♡ luca is insecure about his scars and bruises, he used to be an elegant man who was constantly spotless so his look after prison + the accident has left him with some big identity issues. he needs you to compliment him!!! shower him with praise and call him handsome, charming, snazzy, whatever words you want to use... he doesn't want to feel like he downgraded :(

♡ when you're alone he lets his hair down and lets you play with it.

♡ there's so much hair.... give him a massage and kiss the crown of his head while you're at it, he loves the tenderness.

♡ sighs whenever he's content or extra comfortable, you found this out after asking why he always sighed during cuddle sessions.

♡ luca hates being cold and needs someone to keep him warm and fed, donate your body heat to him pls.

♡ he goes through random bursts of productiveness, he'll spend two days straight clinging to you like a koala then something snaps and he goes into work mode.

♡ it's hard to talk to him while he's focused so to show that you love him, drop him off food and clothes he can change into.

♡ he appreciates the silent ways you show your love, like never reacting when his electricity flairs up or scrubbing his hair in the bath before you get to yours.

♡ addicted to surprising you, whether it's a sudden kiss or a necklace he crafted for you.

♡ if something you have is broken he'll fix it for you while you sleep and have the cheekiest grin when you realize what he did in the morning.

♡ or he'll 'upgrade' something you have, like adding a self defense mechanism to your toaster and you're like 🤨

♡ the two of you go on adventures together all the time.

♡ the manor is your oyster, you're always collecting scraps to build things with each other or exploring areas with no trespassing signs.

♡ luca's quite the rule breaker and loves to show off around you but if anyone catches you he'd never let you get blamed for it.

♡ accidentally zaps you when he gets excited or surprised but he's able to control how strong they are around you, it's part of his simp abilities which overpower everything else.

♡ it's super hard to control but he ensures that you're never hurt, you can feel the zaps when you reach for his hand out of the blue but they never hurt. they're tingly and unique to your boyfriend so you've grown to love them.

♡ be careful you don't hurt yourself on his snaggle tooth when you kiss!!! there's been some mishaps with his fang before.

♡ his lips are so plump when you kiss him, they're slightly chapped but so warm and shoot butterflies straight into your stomach.

♡ does the thing where he tilts your chin up with his fingers then runs them along your bottom lip, he's addicted to seeing you blush.

♡ he acts super cocky and confident to make up for lost time and to heal his ego.

♡ asks you things like "missed me?" or "aren't i the best?" in his usual smug tone all the time but deep down that's how he asks for reassurance that he's loved.

♡ when he wakes up in the middle of the night he sometimes thinks he's back in his cell, he needs you to embrace his shivering form and tell him that you're with him now.

♡ hugs you from behind and unexpectedly picks you up because he loves to hear your laugh, it makes him feel electric.. in a good way.

NSFW ;;

♡ so. his zaps.

♡ he can control the intensity and they flair up when he's aroused or excited, meaning there's always a vibrating thrum you feel under his skin when you're intimate.

♡ what i'm saying is he's a walking vibrator ❤️

♡ lets you ride his thigh and ruts it against you, the vibrations leaving you a sobbing mess.

♡ he's okay with topping or bottoming, there's no preference he just wants to nut.

♡ inventing new ways to make you cum is his speciality but being able to lay back and let you milk him? it's a dream to luca.

♡ his moans are so rapid and breathy, he partially wants you to know you're doing a good job but he also sucks at controlling the volume of his voice.. if youre making him feel good he doesn't want to hide it. he can't hide it.

♡ he tries dirty talk with you but he's so breathless that you can barely decipher what he's saying.

♡ praise him!!! your whines are enough to keep him going but if you're able to slip some "fuck you feel so good"s in there?? he's ecstatic.

♡ refers to his cock as luca jr JDBCBDJD

♡ fixates on oral, giving AND receiving, he has a super long tongue and wants to use it on you.

♡ he's also used to handjobs from how often he's jerked himself off in the past, so a mouth over his cock is an entirely different feeling that he can barely handle.

♡ while he's giving oral he loves to make eye contact with you, flashing you his usual lopsided smile and sleazy grin except it's stained with your fluids.

♡ luca has made positions of his own and some toys of his own in his free time.

♡ if you're willing to he'd love to try out one of those fuck machines fjfnfnsbsj he wants to bring things he's good at into the bedroom.

♡ he seems like he'd love doggy style.

♡ pressing someone into a mattress while hammering into them and getting a delicious view of their body or the other way around? he dreams of that.

♡ i don't think he'd enjoy people being rough with him, degrading him, or tying him up.. it gives him bad memories.

♡ he can act like a wild animal the way he sloppily fucks you without restraint but he still gets emotional during the whole ordeal and needs to hear compliments and feel safe.

♡ something kinda cruel he does enjoy though? orgasm denial.

♡ right as you're about to climax he pulls himself away from you and snickers, taking great pride in how undone you become when you don't get what you want.

♡ it's all fun and games until you do the same to him, he'll beg you to be allowed to cum and will be so exasperated he'll ooze electricity from every pore.

♡ loves to bang on furniture or in the shower.

♡ shower sex!! when you're covered in foam and he lets his hair down he's all over you, pinning you against the glass of the shower and going to work.

♡ when he lets you take charge he always asks you to give him a strip tease, there's nothing like pushing luca down and slowly revealing your chest to him as you sway your hips, he cums in his pants nearly every time and can't take his eyes off you while he unbuttons his pants to stroke himself, chewing his lip.

♡ fav place to finish is on your body, he shoots a lot of cum and feels so possessive when he sees it stick onto you.

♡ his tongue is always out whenever he bottoms, he loses his smug aura and wholly gives himself into the pleasure.

♡ you're the only person who will ever see him like this so he can act like a brat all he wants.

♡ he still twitches and squirms even during aftercare, sudden giggle fits breaking the silence while he lovingly washes you up and threads his fingers through your hair, still damp from sweat.

#luca balsa imagine #idv x reader #luca balsa smut #identity v #luca balsa #thank you jdbchdsjs i hope you like ;x;