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#because in the end everything was very simple and explainable. all the reasons all the relationship dynamics.
tyttamarzh · 3 days
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Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter.
This will probably be very long, so if you want to read it, go grab some popcorn and get comfortable.
I have to talk about this because it's eating me up inside. I think I shouldn't give so much importance to comments coming from sewers like Twitter and much less Tiktok, but it makes me so sick (and I'm such a masochist that I even spend time looking for the shit they say to make me angrier and debate them xD).
I am very happy that it was finally made official, with papers certified by the federation, that Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa, I think that was not entirely necessary for them, because they had assumed it for a long time (let's assume that Tallulah needed the pappers to end her W arc), although I suppose that more than anything it was done for those people who still cannot accept it or who deny the paternity of Phil and Missa (With Missa, although it bothers me, I can even understand it, he He hasn't been as present and many people don't know him, but god, it would be a crime to deny Tallulah's paternity to Phil, the man who has kept her alive and given everything for her throughout her life).
I'm glad that, although I have seen negative comments, the majority have been positive (even if it hurts them, it doesn't matter, it's official, screw them). Mainly, the negative comments have been from defenders of W and their arguments are so poor and weak that they are easily refuted. It is obvious that these people do not know Tallulah and have never met her, many do not even know how things turned out and say nonsense like that the current Llulah is an imposter, that it is not fair that they "rewrote" history and erased W (which It is false, Llulah's words make it clear that history was never changed, she simply moved on and that person remained in the past).
I refuted all those arguments on Twitter but screw Twitter, I hate the fucking character limit. So I'm going to expand (I have a lot of poison to get out of my skin). I have some points:
1- "That's not Tallulah" Of course it is her, those who witnessed her life and her growth during the year that passed, can realize that this was her natural evolution. She is the same girl who grew up overcoming her limitations, who suffered, who felt alone, who had abandonment problems, who everyone saw as a poor abandoned girl and who found comfort next to someone who has always loved her like a father and a brother who gave everything for her.
2- "They erased all her lore" No. Tallulah's lore is the one she built with Philza and Chayanne over the course of the year they lived together. Her relationship with W and her longing for him was only part of her story (although people made a lot of emphasis on that), but it was not the only thing that defined her, it never was and only people who never got to met her think that. They see her like an extension of that other person, as the only thing that kept him on the server, but did not see her as an individual character and definitely did not watch Phil's Vods and they never really knew her lore.
3-"How do they explain this in the lore?" Simple, there was someone in her life, someone who was her first father, but who spent very little time with her, who left a long time ago and who is currently no longer part of her life. She learned to let go of the past and focused in the family she has in the present, the family that loves her, that watched her grow up, that makes her happy and gives her security to believe in herself and that is the Death Family, Chayanne, Philza and Missa. Time passes, not all people stay, treasure those who are by your side and let go of what never brought you anything but pain.
4- "They should have created another egg and replaced her" Why replaceher? It has no sense or reason. She is a character who built her own story with her family, a story that never really involved that other person other than with one or another sporadic mention, why eliminate a character that evolved by itself? Little by little she separated herself from what she was at the beginning and that bond that she had with that first father was practically non-existent. What would be the point of eliminating it or replace her with another new character?
5- "No matter what other parents and appearance give her, she will always belong to W because she still carries the name he gave her" No. She never belonged to him. She lived with that man for 2 days and apart from leaving him the promise of a reunion, she did not contribute anything else to her life. She formed her own path, her passion for music was not because of him, it was something she already had before, her love for nature, for animals, everything was built in the days she lived with Philza (even with uncle Bad). She suffered for her first father but she moved on, she matured, she discovered her link with death and her powers as a medium, she acquired her own personality and little by little she built the Tallulah she is now.
She never belonged to anyone but herself and she always fought to prove that, but people insisted on dumping trauma on her and reminding her that she was an abandoned child waiting for someone who at a certain point was nothing more than an idealized dream, because There was never a real relationship between them, they never lived together long enough. She little by little made her decisions and chose the people she wanted to be her parents (and it's not that she had few options, Quackity, Bad and even F wanted to adopt her at the time and asked them to, but she was not a girl who was looking for parents). She could choose and she chose Philza, the person who had always been there for her and later she chose Missa, someone who despite not knowing her very well gave her his love unconditionally and gave her security when she needed it. Then she was able to feel the warmth of being part of a complete family.
6- "They should change her name because W gave her that name! That impostor is not Tallulah!" Why? Her name is not anyone's intellectual property, at the time it was given to her, it belonged to her for better or worse and yes, in some way it will always be a tie to her past, but a past she has already left behind and managed to overcome by creating new memories and dreams.
To a certain extent I understand those who became attached to her because she reminded them of that other person, but if they couldn't see her as her own character, it means that they never cared enough to make the effort to get to know her.
It would shock us all if a character we liked suddenly changed drastically and left behind what like us in the first place. But if they had really watched her, they would have realized that the change was not sudden, it was gradual.
She found in Phil a protective and understanding father who always put her and her brother before anything else, who suffered with her her pain and outbursts of frustration due to the depression caused by the absence of her first father. She found in Missa a cute and loving father who always showers her with love and helps her to have confidence in herself. She doesn't lack anything with them. She has closed a cycle of pain in her life and now she can heal.
She chose the look that makes her feel finally free to be herself, whatever the external reasons that led to that, she finally has a future ahead of her unbound by the past and prefers to be more like the people she considers her family now. If you can't see what all of this really meant to Tallulah and her evolution, it's because you never cared to see even 20% of her story. Well, since the middle of last year she began her journey to break away from a name and be herself, fighting to be seen for who she was.
If those people decide to continue supporting someone despite his shit, that is their right, but the server and the admin were also within their right to decide to kick him out and want to distance themselves from a person they consider unpleasant.
7-There were comments of another type, mainly from people who are really very lost with the lore, people who consider her the daughter of Quackity, even confusing her with Tilín (saying that Q didn't know if she was the daughter of W or Luzu and that she should get a DNA test), when we all know that from the beginning she was W's daughter as a single father and that the only reason Quackity could have become Tallulah's father was if to marry W, but that never happened, W didn't come back and Quackity was never able to develop that relationship with Llulah, she considered him a possible father because she knew W loved him, but Q always being kidnapped or something, they never really related much. There are people who, even with a certificate, continue to insist that Tallulah should have been given to Quackity to raise with Luzu (she had a tender interaction with Luzu and people were already asking him to adopt her, saying that she was alone and had no parents, I seriously hate them!) I shouldn't take seriously people who obviously haven't seen Philza even once and I know that many of those people are hispanic and are limited by the language barrier but if they don't have the slightest idea They shouldn't give their opinion… Tallulah is not an object to be passed from hand to hand, she chose and in order to do so she had to go through a very long and painful arc.
8- I firmly believe that it is a great win to now have a certificate that endorses who the people she considers her parents are, but I insist, it was not necessary, because that has been known for a long time and I am sure that if it was created it was to close the mouth mouth to all those people who are not capable of accepting that.
Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa (and no one else), she is part of the Death Family, that is her story, it is not a whim, a whim is continuing to link her to something she is no longer a part of or wanting to make her a part of a lore that never happened or wanting to give her other parents different from the ones she grew up with (Quackity already had Tilín, Richas and now Pepito, I don't think she needs more children and Tallulah doesn't need any more shitty drama in her life).
Tallulah is a beautiful being, both with her old look and with the new and as Missa says "She deserves only the beautiful things in the world"
Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! And I can shout it a thousand times because it's true and she always was, but now it's certified by the government and no amount of complaining or tantrums can change that fact.
Sorry for my bad english. See you!! jajaja ando re agresiva, pero es que nadie se mete con mi familia xD
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jensettermandu · 3 months
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open heart - yu jimin
(valentine's day special)
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genre; smut, fluff, gets cheesy at times
pairing; g!p karina x female reader
content; age gap (jimin is older), rough sex, hair pulling, praising, degrading names (?), fingering (reader receiving), p in v :D, think i forgot something
synopsis; jimin had never been the romantic type, but she wanted to try and make valentine's day work out despite how much work she and her girlfriend had because working at a hospital meant being on call 24/7. however to her luck, nothing unfortunately went as planned right from the morning because of simple misunderstandings and she ended up raking her brain for how to fix everything
wc; 12k+
masterlist.
a/n: im no doctor peeps, i just occasionally watch grey's anatomy so if anything is not correct medically that's not on me
It was enough that they were busy, that they didn’t have time for dates, and when they did they were already tired after working nonstop for hours. Night shifts, day shifts, working overtime, working for 12 hours a day if not 16 or 24. Being on call 24/7 as in literally because they were always on call.
That couldn’t be enough stress.
Y/n’s day got even worse as she stood in the patient's room, at 7:30 am, fully changed into her dull light blue scrubs and the white lab coat like every other intern in the room. She was exhausted, not because she was tired, but because of how her morning had started. 
The whole reason why she was doing her best to avoid Jimin’s eyes who stood on the opposite end of the bed as they were doing rounds. It was obvious enough, so obvious that she sucked air through her teeth and shot her fellow intern and friend over the time she’s worked there, Yunjin a glance when she nudged Y/n. She tried to get Y/n’s attention, curious about what had happened, the two pushing each other’s hands until Y/n gripped the red heads hand to keep it in place because it was starting to make their other attending doctor look their way all while Minjeong spoke–Y/n standing in the middle of the two. 
“Mrs Lee has a history of heart disease and multiple surgeries—” Minjeong who was yet another intern and friend with the two started. 
The two attending doctors consisted of Yu Jimin, head of cardiothoracic surgery and the general surgeon Miyawaki Sakura. Both of them were listening yet Jimin’s eyes were not on her patient, but on the intern, the one who she was a boss to in the workplace. 
“In for a beating heart quadruple C.A.B.G.” She finished explaining as they all stood around the older woman who lay in the hospital bed. 
“On Valentine’s Day.” Mark chuckled, it was enough to make all heads turn to the male intern who got nudged by Taeyong at the comment he made. “Sorry.” He apologised, and Sakura sighed as she was responsible for the interns. There was one thing for sure, this was the best yet the most difficult batch to keep in check as they were all talented interns with passions and a thing for doing things their way at times. 
Not to mention with a thing for other forbidden things too.
Jimin cleared her throat, and her stare fell back on Y/n who tried to avoid it, but it didn’t seem to work. The–technically–heart doctor had other plans. 
“Why keep the heart beating doctor Y/l/n?” In the end, the girl was the most talented intern out of all. 
Y/n forced a smile towards the older woman, hands in the pockets of her lab coat to avoid any more nudges from her friends. The two girls on each side of her looked at Y/n, eyes subtly glancing between the two. This time Y/n met eyes with the doctor who gave a small nod for the girl to talk. 
“Scar tissue is too deep–” The girl started, glancing at the older woman in the bed. Y/n knew very well why Jimin asked her. Whoever answered got to be on the case and Y/n knew that she couldn’t say no even if the rest knew the answer too. It would make her look bad and Jimin too if she lied and said that she didn’t know. It was a prestigious hospital. The last thing anyone wanted to hear was a doctor or intern saying that they didn’t know something. Of course, she would trap her just to talk because Y/n was good at avoiding someone if she wanted to. “The heart is too weak to start up again, so you only immobilise the portion you’re working on and you leave the rest of the heart on its own.” 
“Welcome to the case, Y/l/n.” Was all that Jimin said as she closed the thick patient file, making Y/n purse her lips as it got extended over the bed and with no other choice she took it. 
[A few hours earlier]
“Why are you still angry?” Jimin asked, trying her best to understand why the girl in the passenger seat was still pissed. She knew Y/n, and she knew how she acted when she was angry. The intern would ignore her, give her the cold shoulder, and if it got too much she would speak up because she always had something to say so giving her the cold shoulder was difficult. 
“What do you expect me to be, Jimin?” Y/n at last spoke up, looking out the window as they were driving through the early morning of Seoul. It was cold, but in February it gradually started to get better and the snow wasn’t present anymore. That didn’t mean that the mornings weren’t even more difficult because the last thing anyone wanted was to get up at 5:30 am, to get out of a warm bed and get out into the cold.
That was probably the worst part of the day, usually–Y/n was quite sure that the whole day was ruined for her because of Jimin. They never fought, it always worked out with small bickering here and there, but this was where Y/n drew the line at what was acceptable. It was enough that they were keeping their relationship secret–aside from Y/n’s friends knowing–a doctor dating an intern who worked under her would not look good for either of them. The last thing they needed to be accused of was favouritism or anything along those lines. 
The only reason why Y/n got picked so often was because of how skilful she was, not because Jimin and she were dating.  
“Not this angry?” Jimin unsurely questioned, her eyes glancing between Y/n and the road as they were in her car. The younger had spent the night with her at her apartment since Y/n lived with roommates–Yunjin and Minjeong–the doctor also lived closer to the hospital. All she wanted to do was turn back time to the morning when her alarm clock went off and prevent the fight from happening when they were still lying under the covers naked after the previous night.  
Jimin wasn’t the biggest romantic, matter fact she was terrible at extraordinary romantic gestures. Valentine’s Day had just started and she had already managed to mess up.  
She scratched at the back of her head, trying to figure out what she could even do if they both worked a 24-hour shift all while Y/n was talking. The doctor was listening though, she knew how to think and listen at the same time. 
“We’ve been together for almost five months and you’re still texting with your ex?”
Jimin knew she messed up, but it wasn’t for the reasons that Y/n thought that she messed up. She didn’t have any time to defend herself because there was more than just texting. 
“Not to mention, you never mentioned that your ex is working in the department next to ours.”
It all just started to pile up more and more and Jimin had a hard time gathering her words as she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. She never thought that it would matter since it was her ex, but maybe she hadn’t thought far enough. Far enough to think that it would ever come up somehow. Now it had and she realised that she had dug her own grave.
She had to explain why she was texting her ex all while trying to figure out what she could do for Y/n on Valentine’s Day. 
“What does it matter if I am with you and love you?” Was the best she could say because the intern in the car with her had stolen her heart. It was as if Y/n had laid her down on that operating table, cut her open and taken her heart out while Jimin was under anaesthesia because she had no clue when it even happened. 
“What does it matter? It matters if you’re still hung up on her.” 
The car came to a stop as she parked in her spot outside the biggest hospital in Seoul. The doctor turned in her seat and looked at the younger girl. Y/n looked right back at Jimin who looked at her in disbelief, but at the same time, she did her best to understand why Y/n would think that. She knew that she wouldn’t be too fond of Y/n texting with her ex. 
“I am not.”
Y/n rolled her eyes at that and unbuckled the belt. “Then why is she in your contacts?” She questioned, grabbing her things before opening the door. Jimin quickly tried her best to hurry up and get out of her seatbelt while trying to stop the girl from walking out on her this angry. 
“Y/n you’re–” Jimin groaned as the belt had to get jammed as she continued to pull on it. 
A cold wave brushed along her skin and hit her even harder when the door to her car slammed closed and she gave up on trying to undo her belt. The woman heaved a sigh and leaned back in the seat, watching her girlfriend walk ahead and meet in the middle with the batch of interns she was close with. 
It would be a long 24-hour shift.
[Present]
Jimin did her best to focus on the elderly woman whose heart she would be operating while Y/n was in the room with her. Her eyes kept glancing between the stethoscope she was using on Mrs Lee’s back and Y/n who was moving around and organising the rest of the stuff. All while informing the woman of how extensive the operation would be, making sure she knew the risks. 
She was wondering why she was never informed of the risks of falling for an intern like Y/n. 
The girl was too much for her poor heart.
“We’ll get you to the O.R. this afternoon,” Jimin concluded, removing the stethoscope and helping the woman lean back down before putting it around her shoulder. She could feel Y/n’s presence right behind her, looking over her shoulder. “You do understand the risks?” She asked to make sure, her eyes looking between Mrs Lee and her husband who sat in the chair in the corner of the room. It made her wonder how they felt on a day like this because she was feeling quite forlorn at the moment. 
Y/n was stubborn. 
“I’ll check back later,” Jimin informed Mrs Lee after getting the answer she needed. The doctor did not have time to grab the patient file when Y/n already had it. With one last polite smile, she quickly caught up to the intern who had just stepped out of the room. 
“Y/n, can we talk?” She questioned, her hand gently wrapping around the girl’s forearm as she stopped her and pulled her to the side right outside the room. It was hard to talk in the crowded area as they were constantly passed by nurses, interns, and doctors. Gossip spread like butter on a toast in the hospital. 
“If it’s about the patient, then go ahead Doctor Yu.”  
Now the last name came to play and so Jimin knew that it would take a lot more to get Y/n to listen to her. Or maybe the best thing to do was to let her blow off steam as it had only been a few hours since she snapped in the car. 
“Take her for a thallium scan and pick up her x-rays on the way.”
However, she just wanted to try and get a word in, to test the waters and see if Y/n was willing to forgive her for this. Her grip stayed when Y/n was about to walk. The girl who was just an inch taller stopped and the two looked at each other. Y/n’s features were soft yet they could come off sharp, especially her eyes and Jimin always got lost in her. It was enough to let her know that she had no room for mistakes. There were hearts at stake here, but she was quite sure that this wouldn’t cause any hearts to break.
Love was somehow more difficult than any open-heart operation she had ever performed.  
The noise of the hospital was almost deafening as so much was going on around them yet there was still that calm and silence among them because it was a hospital. The white almost blinding interior with the faint sound of machines smelled of antiseptic and it was a scent that brought comfort to the both of them because of how much time they spent at work. It was almost as comforting as listening to the beating of each other’s hearts and dwelling in the scent of one another, but even that scent would mix with the hospitals after being in it for hours. 
“She and I texted–” 
It was as if the only thing on her side today was despair and luck had thrown itself out the window on the highest floor in the hospital and splattered into a puddle with no one there to save it. Was there something she could do right today? It was enough that she sucked at romantic gestures yet still wanted to do something for Y/n, but when she wanted to try the world was opposing the idea. 
“Doctor Yu, intern Y/l/n—” Y/n looked away from Jimin whose grip slipped away from her arm and at the woman whom she couldn’t be mad at because Jimin was the one who wasn’t supposed to be texting her. She couldn’t be angry at the doctor who approached them. The intern smiled at her, politely bowing her head while Jimin kept her crumbling composure as she looked at her ex. 
“Can I borrow Doctor Yu for a second?” The woman questioned. Jimin looked between Y/n and the paediatrician from the department next to theirs. All she got from Y/n was a smile, her eyes sparkling in the fluorescent yet dull light of the hospital. 
“She’s all yours, Doctor Yizhuo.” 
And so Y/n left Jimin once again who watched the girl disappear after taking a turn, her eyes falling onto the woman in front of her. 
“Repairing hearts on Valentine’s Day when you should start with your own.” 
“Please shut up.” Y/n politely said as she sat down at the round table in the staff canteen, placing the tray with food down. Minjeong sucked air through her teeth as Yunjin chuckled. Despite being on Jimin’s case Y/n had been taking care of Mrs Lee alone and only talked to the doctor when it was needed, strictly work-related as she tried to give her the cold shoulder. 
It was lunch break at last and soon she would be in the operating room, doing an open heart surgery by Jimin’s side. The head of cardiothoracic surgery. She knew that the doctor had something to say, but she first needed to phantom the fact that she had been with Jimin for almost five months and suddenly she was texting her ex. Why would she never tell her that her ex was a woman she met every day and at times worked with together? 
“Why are you avoiding Doctor Heart Snatcher?” She rolled her eyes at Yunjin’s words–nickname coming from her field and looks– the two guys looked at them as everyone wanted an answer as to why Y/n was avoiding Jimin. Not only that but why the heart doctor’s lingering gaze lingered more than usual. It was almost filled with longing despite the two being in the same room. It was difficult to look at for them.
“She’s texting with her ex,” Y/n grumbled, using the chopsticks to play around with the food on her tray as she could barely eat from the bitterness that covered her heart. It was causing her heart to twist at the sour bitterness that got caused by being away from each other. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to mend it by simply going to the person who was an expert when it came to hearts. In a few hours, she had to be in the O.R. and would be stuck in that room with Jimin for six hours if not more. 
“What?” Mark was the one to exclaim first, pushing his tray forward and resting his elbows on the table to lean closer to the girl who sat opposite him. 
“Are you serious?” Yunjin asked next, looking at Y/n with her head tilted. 
“Yes she still has her ex in her contacts and…” Y/n trailed off, still baffled by the fact that she had even worked with Jimin’s ex without knowing it. It wasn’t like she would let it get in the way because she was professional at work, but she would have felt less of a fool if she had known. It was almost embarrassing to admit.
“And?” Taeyong asked.
“She works here,” her voice withered as she said it in a whisper. Minjeong offered her comfort by patting her thigh before going back to eat her food. “Told you it was a bad idea to date Doctor Heart Snatcher.” She mumbled and Y/n dismissed her as she grabbed the water bottle, unscrewing it. The vixen frowned. This wasn’t enough to make her doubt Jimin was it? Has it been a bad idea to date her?
“If she knows how to fix a heart she surely knows how to break it too,” Mark commented.
“She hasn’t broken my heart–” Y/n cleared the air as they made it sound like they were going through a break-up when all she was doing was taking some time to process it. “I’m just pissed she didn’t tell me and that she is texting her for whatever reason.” The longer that she thought about it the better it would be to hear the reason why. Maybe she had been a bit too impulsive with her accusations and should have listened to Jimin first. At the same time, she was too stubborn to let her ego down and ask after avoiding listening to her in the first place. 
“Who is it though?” Taeyong questioned and Y/n subtly glanced around. The canteen was busy with staff members who had their breaks, everyone eating together and chatting. Natural light was cast through the big windows and this was one of the few places that wasn’t as dull because of the eye-hurting fluorescent lights. It was always busy, but not with people running because their pagers went off or pushing patients through the halls. Shoes didn’t squeak as loud because it all got muffled by the people who were talking. 
The scent of antiseptics wasn’t present either and that was what stole comfort from this place for Y/n. 
“I’m not telling.” She knew that it wasn’t her place to reveal her girlfriend’s past and private relationships to anyone even if they were her friends. It was enough that they knew about their relationship even if they had been hiding it for the first few months until Yunjin walked in on them about to remove each other’s clothes after forgetting to lock the on-call room. Luckily enough it was Yunjin and not someone else who could get them in trouble–such as any envious workers or Jimin’s boss who did not tolerate doctors dating first-year interns. 
“I bet it’s that nurse Aeri, they’re so close.” Yunjin started to guess as Y/n ignored what they were saying, trying to eat some of the food to be able to stand in the O.R. for six hours. 
“Why would she be close with her ex?” 
“Well, she’s texting her so they’re still close.”
“Texting and talking face to face is different.” 
“Not when it’s your ex.”
“What if it’s Doctor Miyawaki?” 
“That would be even worse.”
“Do you guys not have your own private lives to worry about? As far as I remember neither of you have any plans for Valentine’s Day and that’s why you all took the 24-hour shift.” The intern finally came back into the conversation that died down right after she finished her words. 
“I’d say something, but Doctor Heart Snatcher is on her way here.” Y/n looked up from her tray and looked to her right where Yunjin was and looking past the girl she spotted Jimin. No matter how pissed she was, there was no room in her to deny how attractive her Heart Snatcher actually was in her navy blue scrubs, white lab coat, her black hair up in a ponytail, and her eyes always on Y/n.
This was the same woman who she would stand with for six hours in the O.R. and both of them loved their job enough to not get distracted by each other. It was yet another thing Y/n loved about Jimin, the fact that she managed to learn so much from her and how work and relationship-oriented she was and made it work out with this demanding job.
She made it so much harder to avoid her and before Y/n knew it the woman was by their table, hands in the pockets of her white coat, the nameplate pinned right over her right breast by the small pocket with a blue ballpoint pen. 
“Y/l/n could we talk for a second?” Jimin asked, clearing her throat as their eyes were on her as she stood by the edge of the table where Yunjin was. Her eyes scanned over no one else but Y/n who opened her mouth, making the doctor wait in anticipation. The intern was only in her scrubs now, her hair clipped back with her wispy bangs gently falling over her face. Jimin didn’t even want to look at anyone else. 
“Oh–” Y/n let out surprised, pushing her tray forward and planting her hands against the table. “Oh, that’s my pager, I’m sorry Doctor Yu, I have to prioritise the patients.” The intern excused, pushing herself up from the chair as she bowed at her boss to be polite. Jimin felt even more confused and she watched the girl walk away with a slight job, still sure that she did not hear her pager go off at all. It was somewhat humiliating, but she probably deserved it. She heaved a sigh and looked down at the rest to see Minjeong suppress the snicker with a cough. 
“Was I the only one who didn’t hear her pager go off?” She questioned them as she removed her one hand from the pocket and rubbed the back of her neck, she looked where Y/n was to see the girl walk out of the canteen. 
“Nope, I 100% heard it…” Yunjin said, looking up at the doctor. 
“Yeah, it went off,” Minjeong confirmed and Jimin looked back down at them with her lips pursed. 
“Kind of loud in here so you probably didn’t catch it,” Mark added. 
“Exactly.” And Taeyong finished. 
She knew that she had run off because she felt stupid for not listening to Jimin the first time she tried to explain it. It was one of the causes and now more doubt had grown in her from hearing her coworkers talk about it. The perspective only got worse as she walked to the changing room that they all shared. It was empty and her pager never went off. She not only was texting, but talking, however, they worked together at times so they obviously would talk face to face. 
Y/n knew that she had no reason to be insecure. 
With a sigh, she opened her locker and stopped from reaching for her phone when the little pink sticky note caught her eye as it was stuck right to the locker door on the inside. She had no lock on her locker, no one did since everyone knew each other well enough to know that no one would steal anything. It was the first time she had any notes stuck on the inside of her door though. 
The girl licked her lips and took it down to read what the blue letters said.
Our hearts are a muscular pump, that’s why exercise is so good, but just one look at you and mine gets the exercise it needs. 
She didn’t know what to think, but the thought of it being Jimin to leave it there made her suppress a smile. Y/n couldn’t be sure though because the woman never said things like these and she might as well be smiling over a note that someone else left because there were a few other interns interested in the girl. Jimin wasn’t romantic, she had her ways of showing love, but they never came this way. The intern folded it and stuffed it into her jacket’s pocket so she could ask her girlfriend if she was the one behind it. 
Y/n didn’t expect a next time, but the next time she did stumble upon a note was when she went back to Mrs Lee to take her vitals and she opened the patient files. Soon enough she had the open heart operation she would get to watch Jimin perform as she would help. It did let her narrow it down to who it could be but she was doubting that the male nurse was leaving the notes since he wasn’t supposed to be in the intern's locker room and neither was Jimin, but still. 
She bit her lower lip and glanced up from the file at the woman with her husband, red roses standing by her bed with a card. Y/n had never been big on these things, but she realised that maybe she was if just a note made her feel a bit giddier because of Jimin than she usually got. The words were so cheesy, but somehow that made it even better. 
The reason why my heart receives blood that is low on oxygen is because you always steal my breath.
It was melting the facade Y/n had tried to keep the whole day just to show how pissed she was, but Jimin made it impossible. It was impossible to stay mad at her girlfriend because with each second that passed in the operating room, Y/n realised how good of a girlfriend Jimin was. 
The intern stayed focused on the task at hand just like everyone else did. Somewhere between those blurry lines between focus and daydreaming, she found herself staring at the beating heart. 
She knew that love wasn’t connected to the heart, all emotions were regulated in the brain. However, the only thing she realised whenever she was in a room with Jimin was the way the doctor made her heart beat faster. It was the sole reason why love was associated with the heart. The heart spoke for love and no one listened to their head when it came to love. Despite the brain regulating these emotions, it was the heart that let her know that it was Jimin who hit the bell and made her heart ring. 
The only time she did notice her heartbeat was with Jimin because she made it pick up its pace. 
The heart they were operating was right in the open and partially numb but beating and somewhere along those lines was how they made each other feel. They numbed everything around them, leaving their hearts right in the open for the other to reach for it and nestle inside of it. 
“Mrs Lee is doing well.” The doctor commented, making Y/n lean in slightly closer to Jimin to get a better look at the beating muscle as they stood shoulder to shoulder with each other. The intern was taking care of the suction and the operation was coming to an end, making the rest strike up small conversations.
“Did you know that the heart can beat even when it’s disconnected from the body?” Jimin mumbled, making Y/n subtly glance at her for a split second before looking right back down. Y/n knowingly hummed at the words, wondering what Jimin was trying to reach since these were random facts and nothing new she was learning. 
“That’s why mine is still beating.”
“What?” The vixen questioned, her eyebrows furrowing at the words that confused her. 
“It’s in your hands.” 
Y/n widened her eyes at the bold words Jimin said out loud and only confirmed that she was the culprit behind the notes. It was bold, not because she said them, but because she said those words while everyone stood in the theatre above and could hear them talking. Was this some kind of statement? Was she trying to prove something? Maybe Y/n was reading too much into it, but Jimin barely referred to her as Y/n when someone else was around just to not get caught. 
“Doctor–” The girl tried, unsure of where Jimin was heading with this because if this was a statement Y/n was getting flustered. Suddenly she felt worried that Jimin’s boss was possibly up there watching them and was hearing this. It would get them both in trouble. However, she did not get to stop her because the doctor had other plans. 
“There are four chambers in the heart, each holds about 70 ml of blood–although each one of mine is filled with you.” Y/n’s eyes glanced at Jimin again, but quickly went back down to the heart that was beating steadily compared to the wild horses in her chest. The doctor looked mostly unaffected but that wasn’t weird since she was supposed to be composed under pressure. Y/n knew how to take pressure without letting her knees buckle, but Jimin truly made hers weak in a way no one else did. 
The words were so cheesy and it only made it worse, especially if everyone else was hearing them. 
It burned her ears and she wanted to hide.
Y/n barely had time to register that the operation was successful and had ended by the thoughts racing in her head. However, Jimin stepped back, holding out her hands as they pulled off the thick gloves she had been using to operate. There was no time to ask questions now as everyone was praising the other, saying ‘good job’ because it was a team effort in the end. The vixen removed her single-use gloves and threw them in the trash as she undid her mask and took it off after walking towards the exit. 
Finally, Jimin’s eyes met her, those brown eyes were so much more intense now and Y/n wanted to hear every little thought that was behind them, especially the reason behind this. The two of them walked out of the room where they just had to stitch the woman up. 
“What was all that about?” She questioned in genuine confusion, unsure if her tone was harsh or just confused. Her hand reached for the surgical cap and she removed it while the older woman was already washing her hands in the big sink as they were the only ones in the scrub room. Jimin only hummed back with just as much confusion, and now it was coming off as a confusing game to Y/n. Was the doctor messing with her? Or was all this genuine? 
Jimin wasn’t cruel to mess with her this way. 
“Why were you saying all that in front of everyone?”
“You didn’t like what I said?” Jimin confusedly asked and looked to the side where Y/n stood and washed her hands. Her eyes lingered on the girl who was staring down at the water that was running down the drain. The question made her look up though and she shook her head with a frown as it wasn’t what she meant. 
“That’s not– that’s not what I meant.” She didn’t have the cheesy lines in mind, but the fact that they were said in front of everyone else. In the next hour, it would be known around the whole hospital that there was something between them. Gossip was always working its 24/7 shift at the place without any breaks. 
“Then it doesn’t matter.” She concluded, turning off the faucet and flicking her fingers to rid of the excess water before reaching for the paper towels in the soundless room.
It truly felt like some little game to Y/n now. Was Jimin fooling around now? If so Y/n wanted her to admit to it now. 
“What doesn’t matter?”
The intern turned off her faucet, grabbing the paper towels she got handed by the doctor who removed her surgical cap. She shrugged at Y/n’s question and reached over to the girl who almost flinched away at the intimate touch when Jimin brushed a hair strand away from her face. It wasn’t intimate on that level, but it was when the door from the operating room opened and the rest were starting to walk inside. 
“If everyone heard it. If you liked it then it doesn’t matter.” She gave Y/n a small smile, hand dropping down and giving the younger’s shoulder a light squeeze before she passed her. Y/n turned on her heels, following out right after her though. The area was empty as people only walked by occasionally and at the corner of her eye she could see Minjeong and Yunjin waiting at the top of the stairs, trying to stay out of sight to listen in on the two. Doing a poor job at staying subtle at all because even Jimin glanced at them. 
“Jimin–hold on, you can’t just walk away without finishing this.” This time Y/n was the one to grab the woman’s hand that was warm to the touch and Jimin grabbed hold of the girl’s hand. She squeezed her before letting go as she turned to look at Y/n. There was something about the soft smile on her lips, but it wasn’t enough for Y/n to figure it out. She needed more, but she wasn’t getting more. 
“Sorry, I have to get going, I have something important to do.”
“What is more important than our relationship right now?” Y/n seriously questioned only to not get an answer as the doctor walked away without another word. There was no way the intern was going to chase after the doctor who seemed in a rush. 
Was she getting back at her?
Was this really how her Valentine’s Day would look like? Despite the anger she had felt before, she was longing for Jimin. 
She looked towards the stairs to see Yunjin and Minjeong quickly walking down them and it made Y/n start walking away from them. It wasn’t a second before they caught up to her, hooking their arms with hers to make her walk with them. 
“There are four chambers in my heart–” Yunjin started with a sigh, leaning into the intern. “Each filled with you.” Minjeong finished with another sigh. 
“Who was up there?” Y/n questioned instead, ignoring the teasing and how they repeated the words that had come from Jimin. 
“Honestly, Doctor Kim was there, and a bunch of interns.” Doctor Kim who specialised in neurology was another Doctor whom they worked with just like they did with Jimin. It made Y/n suck air through her teeth as she knew how much stricter Kim Chaewon was compared to Jimin. 
“What if she tells the Chief?” Y/n knew about the two competing surgeons as both wanted to be the next chief of surgery. This could ruin Jimin’s chances and Y/n was now drowning in worry and a twinge of anger at how careless the heart doctor was. 
“Then you will most likely get in trouble.” Yunjin deadpanned, receiving a look from Y/n and Minjeong at how much worse it made everything. The girl was already aware of how they could get in trouble. They had been secretive about it for a reason. It wasn’t like it was forbidden, but the chief of surgery would deem it unprofessional and have his doubts about giving the position to Jimin next. 
“I just need a snack and then I am taking a nap.” Y/n declared as she slipped her arms out of the two girl’s hold and stopped at the vending machine. The two leaned on each side of the vending machine, keeping the conversation going as they looked at Y/n who looked like she was in a huge dilemma. 
The vixen was worried about what could happen now. She knew Doctor Kim could bite just for it to sting and hurt because she would do everything to become the next chief. She could be cruel. 
Did that mean she would have to break up with Jimin? Or Jimin with her. For the security of her spot as the next chief. 
“Oh, Doctor Heart Snatcher has you in the mood for a snack?” Yunjin teased to lighten the mood she by accident had made worse. Y/n glanced at the redhead who shot her eyebrows up in a suggestive manner as she looked her up and down while doing so. All it took was for the intern to walk in on them making out once and all hell let loose because she made Y/n look like a sex addict–which she was not, if anything she blamed Jimin. 
Minjeong seemed to get a different memo by the words as she leaned closer to Y/n with her shoulder holding her up against the vending machine as Y/n crouched down to get her stuff. 
“Are you pregnant?” She asked in a whisper and Y/n glanced up at her in silence while getting the bun from the slot. 
“That is not what she meant by that, Minjeong.” 
It left the girl thinking for a bit as Y/n stood up, now the two taller girls stood and watched Minjeong piece it together. “Oh…Oh! Oh, that kind of snack.” She exclaimed, realising that it held a dirty meaning and not pregnancy cravings. 
“Yeah, but the snack that I mean is a bun and then sleep since Doctor Yu seemingly is ignoring me now after ruining our future together,” Y/n explained as she showed the pack she had picked up before walking away from the two to head to the lockers and get her phone before heading to the on-call room. 
“Already thinking about a future together.” Yunjin snorted as she pushed herself up to use the vending machine. 
“You’re just jealous no one asked you out for Valentine’s Day.” 
“We’re in the same shoes.” 
“Speak for yourself, I’m not on the 24-hour shift, matter fact I am heading out right now because I have dinner plans.” Minjeong smugly said as she started to walk away.
“Dinner with your mum does not count.” 
“Shut up, at least I got asked for dinner by someone.”
Y/n grumbled under her breath, the pack with the bun between her teeth as she was busy with her phone while walking. The walk to the locker and then to the on-call room took an extra ten minutes because she had to speak to Mrs Lee's husband and tell him about her procedure. Jimin would usually do so, but she had disappeared into thin air and left it for Y/n to handle.
The text was for Jimin, hoping she had her phone on her to answer because Y/n knew she was on a break after the 12-hour shift they had worked. All they were to do now was be on call while resting and they would be called in during the next 12 hours. Y/n knew that soon enough her break would be over, she gave it an hour, a chance of a bit more. She needed more because she needed to talk to Jimin. 
She opened the door and was just about to send the text, but was stopped by the voice. 
“Finally, Doctor Y/l/n.” The voice startled Y/n who looked up, quickly catching the bun that fell from between her lips. 
“Jimin,” Y/n exclaimed somewhere between annoyed and still startled by the unexpected guest yet one she had hoped for. She turned off her phone and stepped inside fully as she closed and locked the door after her. Her eyes landed on the doctor who was in only her scrubs now, her hair down as she sat at the edge of the twin-sized bed. 
“Come here.” She gestured, holding her hand out and Y/n raised her eyebrows. She hesitated, especially after what had happened between them a good 30 minutes ago. Jimin gave her a nod of reassurance and motioned with her fingers for Y/n to walk over to her. It was all it took for Y/n to push herself up from the door, placing her stuff down on the table on the way before taking hold of Jimin’s hand. 
The woman pulled Y/n over to her and pulled her until she had the girl in her lap, straddling her. “Are you going to say something cheesy and run off again?” Jimin chuckled, looking up at Y/n, her one hand caressed along the girl's thigh while the other reached up to her. She reached her hand over to the back of Y/n’s hair and took out the hair clamp, letting her hair fall loosely over her shoulders while putting the clamp aside.
“Do you want me to say something cheesy again?” She questioned, her hand ran to Y/n’s hip as she pulled the girl even closer to her, making the latter grab hold of her shoulder. 
“Yeah, but I’d like to know what you were thinking and about what happened this morning. Some cheesy lines won’t make me forget.” It made the doctor hum, her hands gently roamed Y/n’s body, caressing and slowly finding their way under the shirt she had on to touch her waist. Their eye contact didn’t falter for a second and it was then and there that they both realised their heartbeat that had picked up. 
This was love, the brain may have registered it, but the heart felt it. 
“Okay, I had to talk to the chief about something and do something else too…” Jimin trailed off, her eyes shifted away from Y/n’s this time. It made Y/n frown as she tilted her head, waiting for the woman to continue. She sighed and dropped her hands, fingers carefully playing with the material of Y/n’s scrubs as she licked her lips before she continued with her eyes back on Y/n’s. 
“I talked to the chief about—well, about us because it’s been almost five months and I thought it would only be fair for you and me if I talked to him about it instead of assuming that he would be truly against it.” 
“What?” Y/n asked, her eyes sporting a look of even more confusion and worry. There were only two possible ways for this to end and she only wanted one of them, but it felt like the one she didn’t want had a stronger chance of being true. 
“Wait, don’t worry…He was just a bit disappointed that I am in a relationship with a first-year intern, but somewhere along the lines he understood that it doesn’t interrupt our professionalism.” 
“So, it’s fine?” Y/n asked to clarify, feeling the weight untie itself from around her heart as she caressed Jimin’s warm neck. Her fingers gently traced her skin, feeling the faint goosebumps and shivers that came from the older one. Jimin held onto Y/n’s forearms as Y/n intertwined her fingers behind the doctor's neck who nodded.
The girl had been right, Jimin was trying to make a statement even if it was reckless since she did it before talking to the chief. 
“I hope you can listen to me now without slamming a door closed in my face.” The intern rolled her eyes at the words as she hadn’t given Jimin a chance to speak earlier. It seemed like the perfect opportunity had been created because they were both still dwelling on the fact that their relationship didn’t have to be a secret. “No interrupting either.” Y/n nodded, giving in as Jimin’s thumbs softly caressed the skin of her forearms. 
“I don’t even have small remnants of feelings left for her as it never was serious and that was why it ended. It’s always work-related because if you had taken your time to check you would see that she was asking for my work number because of an upcoming operation and while at it she only asked how everything was going in my department and it ended after I replied.”
Feeling stupid was an understatement. 
It made Y/n clear her throat and glance away, Jimin trying to find the girl’s pretty eyes because she always liked having eye contact with Y/n. The girl kept avoiding eye contact and it drove Jimin to reach for her jaw and make her look at her. 
“See, baby, it wasn’t as serious as you thought it was, but maybe if you had listened to me you would have spared yourself some nerves.” There was that tone that made Y/n’s facade crumble and melt right into Jimin. 
“Okay…Maybe I did react a bit quick, but you don’t expect your girlfriend to text with their ex and so it just came with a shock with no time to think.” Y/n tried to explain, doing her best not to melt into a puddle right away and hold herself a bit longer even if the ice was melting because of the warmth of Jimin.
“And I’m sorry, I should’ve said something sooner.” It made Y/n lean in, Jimin moving her hands to hold the girl's waist. Their lips met after a long day of itching to ease the loss of not being against each other. It was a simple kiss, coated in honey as Jimin held onto the girl’s waist.
“I forgive you,” Y/n mumbled and tried to kiss her again, but was stopped as the doctor turned her body and Y/n watched her reach over by the pillow. She chuckled at what she had missed when she got dragged into Jimin’s lap and the doctor turned back around. 
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Jimin knew that it wasn’t much, yet the smile on Y/n’s plump lips let her know that it was more than enough when she accepted the brown fuzzy bear that was hugging a rose. The girl took it with both hands as she looked at the bear. Considering how busy they were, she knew that even getting a hold of a teddy bear was a great task and it only meant so much more to the girl. 
“I also have another line for you.”
“Yeah?” Y/n questioned and Jimin nodded.
“There are three layers of the heart wall, you have broken down each of them and gotten to the middle in a way no one else ever has–” This time the words were deeper, they weren’t just some cheesy pickup line, but a confession that was growing deeper than love. It let Y/n know that Jimin loved her but did more than just love her, she trusted her as she had opened her heart to her. It wasn’t easy, especially because of how they barely had lives outside the hospital, but yet here they were, making it work. 
“You seriously have, doll.” 
“I love you so much.” Y/n groaned and wrapped her arms around Jimin’s shoulders before attaching their lips again. This time the kiss picked up gradually when their lips parted and their tongues met in warmth and slickness. The doctor pushed her tongue against Y/n’s, pressing and tilting her head to get closer. 
With ease, she manoeuvred them around and laid Y/n down on the bed who dropped the bear right beside her head as Jimin got between her legs. Their breathing grew deeper in the small on-call room, slowly heating it as the small ventilation wasn’t enough to cool the heat their bodies produced when they were with each other. Especially when they were so close. 
“I love you.” She barely managed to breathe out between their desperate breaths as she bunched up the pillow case in her fists. Y/n hummed, catching Jimin’s lips again, her legs wrapped around the woman’s waist, pulling her closer, close enough to feel her cock slowly growing hard against her heat. It was enough to make her groan and push closer into Y/n, her hips started to gyrate to get the much-needed friction that they both craved. 
“Fuck, Y/n—” She breathed out, the girl under her tugged onto the scrubs so she would remove them. The moment of passion only grew a fire that got bigger with each passing second of the shared intimacy. That moment when their hearts beat in sync and yearn for the other so much that it’s hard to hold back. “You want my cock, don’t you…My good girl, my good slut wants my cock.” She breathed out, lips dragging over the intern's skin as she kissed down her jaw.
It did not matter, Jimin always did a 180 in the bed and wasn’t just that sweet heart doctor, but someone who made Y/n’s thighs tremble and beg for more with some sweetness to her. 
“So bad, I want to be filled by you.” 
“I will fill you, fill you with my cock and ‘dump all my cum inside you. You like that don’t you?” 
Her kisses trailed lower to Y/n’s neck, the kisses wet and tender, her teeth dragged along and she wrapped her lips around the thin skin. She could feel Y/n’s heavy pulse on her tongue as she gently sucked with her hard dick fully pressed against Y/n’s cunt. The girl under her pushed more into her, being able to feel the prominent bulge of Jimin’s cock right against her throbbing heat.
“I love it, I love every inch of you inside me and on me.” Y/n breathed out beside her ear, hands pulling Jimin’s navy blue shirt up along her back. She pulled away, sitting on her knees to take them off together with the one she had under, throwing them on the side of the bed. The younger sat up, the doctor not waiting as she grabbed the hem of Y/n’s light blue shirt and let it mix in with hers on the side. 
Her hand reached into Y/n’s hair from behind and she gripped it, pulling the girl back to meet her eyes. The grip stung, Jimin pulling on Y/n’s silky strands of hair like she always liked to do and Y/n enjoyed. Her eyes landed on those glossy with passion and love eyes, she trailed down to her wet lips and she leaned back in, wanting Y/n’s tongue against hers.
The vixen kissed back, Jimin’s figure towered over her and her hand cupped her girlfriend through the blue scrubs where her cock was straining. It made the latter huff through her nose and close her eyes tighter while pushing her tongue against Y/n’s. The scalding cock was fully erect, making Y/n tug down on the pants to the second layer that were the boxer briefs.
“Touch it, touch every inch you want inside your slutty little pussy, Y/n, it’s all for you.” Her words were clouded, deep with the moment as Y/n’s fingers ghosted over the outline until she reached the tip that was leaking right through the grey boxers, leaving them stained with pre-cum. Y/n’s lips were left parted, panting against Jimin’s as they moved before she swallowed her whole again. She palmed the hard cock, feeling each inch that would be inside her.
Jimin let go of her hair and reached behind her, doing a quick job at swiftly undoing the bra. Y/n let it fall down her shoulders, and the latter sat back on her heels, eyes falling on the breasts that perfectly fit in her hands as she cupped one of them. The vixen let out a light moan, enough to make Jimin’s dick twitch at the sound. It made her grab Y/n’s petite waist to pull her into her and lean down, her mouth latching onto the plump breast as she held onto the girl who was back in her lap as she sat back.
Y/n pressed down her heat against Jimin’s, hips slowly moving with hands gripping onto the dark hair with the warm tongue coating her chest in saliva. It made Jimin whimper just like Y/n did, her cunt pressing down hard against the throbbing cock under her aching cunt when the doctor grazed her teeth over the hard nipple, gently tugging. 
“You’re my pretty whore, Y/n. Just mine.” If there was one thing she liked to do it was to remind Y/n of who exactly she belonged to. Her lips wrapped around the soft and warm flesh, sucking on it to leave her marks. It made Y/n moan, nails digging into Jimin’s shoulders and back to her shoulder blades as the girl wanted her closer, chest pressing into the teasing mouth that played with her nipples and marked her breast. 
Jimin hummed, it came from the back of her throat and her grip tightened on Y/n’s waist with fingers digging into her skin as she tried to get her even closer. She loved wrapping her arms around the small waist or having her hands on it, pulling on Y/n like a doll. She helped her grind down against her hard cock, Y/n whimpering right by her ear as her clit pressed right against her tip with each stroke. 
The younger could feel how damp her underwear was, her clit throbbed for Jimin’s touch, wanting nothing more than to be stretched out and have her girlfriend fuck her right into the bed. The wet sounds of Jimin’s mouth latching at her breast occupied the room together with their heavy breaths, the faint buzzing of the ventilation dead. One hand let go of her waist, the other still guiding her to continue grinding against the cock. 
It made Y/n close her eyes when the doctor cupped her breast, her mouth still sucking on her skin. Thumb grazed over her nipple before Jimin moved and groped at her chest, feeling up Y/n’s body because she loved nothing more than exploring every inch before fucking her. It didn’t matter if her cock felt like it would explode. She tugged on the nipples, gently nipping and twisting, it was enough to make Y/n squirm and whine, unsure if she wanted more or if it was too much. 
“Jimin–” She breathed out, the latter trailed her hand down from her waist and harshly groped at her ass. All she got in return was a grainy hum, too busy with the small chest that she enjoyed playing with so much. “I need your cock.” Y/n pleaded as it wasn’t a want anymore, but a need. Her walls were clenching, waiting for that familiar stretch that would fill her to the brim and her grinding only got sloppier and harsher from how desperate she grew for her. 
It was only then that she pulled away from Y/n’s chest, her lips swollen and wet. Her eyes fell on Y/n’s, seeing all the need in them, she could feel it from the way the girl was pressing against her, thighs squeezing, but nothing was happening. Y/n heaved at the intensity, Jimin’s hand coming right up to her throat as she grabbed hold of her and pulled her closer. 
She could feel the thudding pulse under her fingertips, her parted lips brushed against Y/n’s parted ones. It made her lean back when the vixen tried to kiss her, it tugged at the corner of her lips at how much she needed her. To see Y/n need her this much turned her on further and her cock was aching to push right inside the confines of Y/n’s snug and warm pussy. 
“Are you all wet and ready for me? Will you be able to take everything at once? I can only fuck my whore once she knows she will take everything without complaining.” The husk made Y/n’s skin crawl with warmth, thighs clenching as she was wet enough to take every inch. She didn’t have time to think it through because her lips spoke before her brain thought in these moments of intimacy where all she could think with was her heart that in the end made the best decisions when it came to her love life. 
She was with Jimin in the end.
With a hand still wrapped around her throat, Y/n’s hand reached for the other one that was gently kneading her breast. Jimin smiled as Y/n grabbed her wrist and she let the younger guide her hand. “I get so wet every time you touch me.” Y/n breathed out, guiding the hand past the hem of her scrubs before Jimin slipped it further down with Y/n’s nails dragging along her forearm. 
It made the intern's breath subtly shudder at the fingers that ran over the damp underwear. “My pretty doll, so wet for me.” Her fingers teased, gently rubbing over the material, making Y/n buck her hips and hold back on the desperate whines when she pressed down on her clit. It was aching, throbbing with pain from how badly she needed it. Jimin leaned in, gently kissing the girl’s jaw while she slowly pulled the material of the girl’s underwear aside. 
Her fingers found their way to Y/n’s wet folds, the slick smeared as she ran her fingers through them, only pulling away from her jaw to look at the expressions that Y/n made. The fingers ran through the sensitive and swollen lips, gathering the slick, coming down to circle her leaking hole and greedily taking more to create a bigger mess because Jimin enjoyed making her a mess. All the while Y/n let out faint shaky breaths through her lips, hands gripping harder onto Jimin’s shoulders, hips trying to push into her fingers as she circled her swollen clit, slowly playing with the bud that was so sensitive.
“You sound so pretty for me,” she mumbled, eyes set on Y/n’s face whose eyebrows furrowed and a gasp fell from her plump lips at the speed that increased on her clit. Jimin hummed, the smile not leaving her lips as she ran her fingers down once again, this time two slowly pushed inside the greedily clenching hole. She slipped into the wet tightness of Y/n’s pussy, the girl feeling the slow stretch that was getting closer to satisfying, but she still needed more. 
Her hips moved against the fingers that were knuckles deep inside her, looking for friction on her clit from the pad of Jimin’s palm. A whimper fell from her lips, this time louder than last time when the doctor gave in to the need and pressed her palm against the clit while curling her fingers. That spot that made Y/n squirm was right under her control because she had learned her girlfriend's body to every inch. 
“Are you going to fuck yourself on my fingers? Such a desperate whore that she fucks herself on my hand. Thought you wanted cock to fill your cunt.” She chuckled as Y/n leaned forward, her lips by Jimin’s ear, her hips still moving against the fingers that slowly scissored inside her to stretch her out. 
“I do–I want your cock to fill me.” She breathed out, her words humid against the woman’s ear who left a kiss on her jaw. Jimin could wait, but only so long, and hearing how needy Y/n’s whiny voice was she wasn’t going to wait longer to bury her cock inside the girl. They were playing with time in the end as they could get paged any second. 
There was a loss of contact when the fingers that were deep inside her throbbing pussy pulled out. Y/n pulled back, a docile look in her eyes to plead even more while watching Jimin take the slick-covered fingers between her lips and suck them right in. The taste lingered on her tongue as she licked her fingers clean off of Y/n’s wetness that she loved. Her hand rubbed Y/n’s waist as she did so. 
“Be a good whore and get naked for me, doll.” Her tone was calm yet demanding and Y/n wasn’t one to disobey the older one. She got off of Jimin’s lap and the older watched the girl strip out of her bottoms, her hand running along her length through her boxer briefs. Her cock was throbbing under her palm and her breathing got deeper as she squeezed her length at the sight of Y/n fully naked now. 
With a rushed and harsh grip, she manhandled the girl’s lithe and light figure that she liked the best when she was dressed in her birthday suit. It made Y/n quietly whine at the rough yet arousing treatment as she was pushed onto her knees, forearms resting against the mattress as Jimin got behind her. 
“Such a pretty face and pussy.” The doctor grumbled as she pushed down her boxers and freed her throbbing cock, the pinkish tip leaked with precum, waiting to release everything into the confines of Y/n’s pink pussy. 
The vixen waited in anticipation, her back arched with hands running over her ass, hips and over her spine before going over her waist. The touch was soothing, making her melt at how good it felt to even have Jimin’s skilful hands run over her body. She could make the harshest treatment feel gentle and steady with her hands.
She gripped onto Y/n’s hip, her other hand grabbing at her base and she guided her tip through the wet folds. The feeling made them both shudder as she coated her member in the juices that were leaking, spilling down Y/n’s thighs. As it glistened from the slickness she brought her tip to the girl’s entrance.
“Can I enter you, doll?” Y/n could die right in her spot because Jimin always made sure to ask. 
“Yes…” The girl breathed out, feeling the big tip right by her hole and it made her head drop to the pillow when it at last protruded and slowly sank into her, splitting her folds and slowly buried itself deep inside her.  
Jimin gripped harder onto Y/n’s waist at the tightness around her cock that sucked her in. Her other hand gently pushed down against the arched back as she tilted her head back and dwelled in the feeling with her lower lip between her teeth. 
“You feel so good, your pussy feels so good around my cock.” She mumbled, her chest heaving as she stalled her hips once she was filling her girlfriend to the hilt. 
Y/n twisted the sheets in her fists at the stretch and feeling stuffed, she could feel Jimin’s cock everywhere, feeling it all because she was raw inside her. The way the vein throbbed and how hard she was. It was overwhelming the slight pain from how good it felt. 
Jimin exhaled sharply through her nose, needing time to get ready herself once she entered Y/n’s cunt to not explode right away from the snugness. She ran her palm along Y/n’s spine until she reached her shoulder and gripped it, holding onto it and her waist before she slowly dragged her hips back.
“I’m going to fuck you good, my needy whore deserves it.” She mumbled under her breath more to herself but Y/n still heard it clearly, eyes still closed and her head leaned back as she almost pulled out fully. 
Y/n gasped, writhing under Jimin’s hold when her hips slammed right back inside her, the grip tight on her skin as it was hard enough to leave its marks behind. “Oh, my—fuck.” Y/n choked out as Jimin felt like she had given enough time for both of them to get all ready and her hips started to move, starting slow before she gradually increased the speed of her moving hips. 
The cock dragged along Y/n’s squelching walls, hitting the perfect spots as Jimin angled herself perfectly. The slapping of her pelvis against Y/n’s ass grew in the room, each thrust followed by Y/n’s whines, pleas, cries, and whimpering moans, creating the mess she loved to make the intern. Her cock slid effortlessly in and out, going deep and hard, picking up her pace only to slow down with her eyes trained on the way Y/n’s body arched and pushed into her with her vision going blank now and then from the way her eyes would close at the feeling. 
The wet slapping bounced off the walls, Jimin completely getting lost and not being able to think about if anything could be heard outside the door and neither did she stop Y/n’s squeals when she drilled deep into her. The slapping grew harder and louder, tainting their skin slightly in the process. 
It was burning Y/n’s body, her body moved with each thrust as Jimin went deep and slow before going fast, it was making her mind go blank. The bed squeaked–the on-call rooms used as hook-up rooms for everyone–Y/n was letting out squeaks herself at the pleasure that shot through her with slight pain. It was too much but she didn’t want any less or any more because too much was perfect. 
Jimin clenched her jaw, her body getting covered in heat, a sheen of sweat draping over her skin as she huffed through her nose, guttural groans falling from her now and then. Her eyes fell between their conjoined heat, watching the way her cock appeared and disappeared inside the glistening pussy, coming out covered in slick and getting slammed back inside, making Y/n move forward from the force. 
“Ah, fuck–” Y/n cried out at a particularly hard thrust making Jimin slow down to not hurt the girl as she knew that she got lost in the pleasure easily when it came to Y/n. 
“You’re taking me so well, my little doll to fuck and have squirm under me.” Her hand soothed along Y/n’s waist as her hips rolled deep and slow now. She ran her hand right under and found her way to Y/n’s slim stomach. Jimin pressed down on the girl’s lower belly as she pulled out and slammed right back inside. She could explode just from the way the gesture made Y/n arch her back and let out another high-pitched moan.
The cock kept hitting at her g-spot, feeling Jimin much deeper, knowing exactly where she was because of the hand that pressed against her stomach. The pleasure became tenfold and she was slowly reaching her peak as her ears were muffling everything and she was losing all her coherent thoughts. All she could think about was the cock that was drilling right into her cunt, the way it made her thighs quiver and her vocal cords release any sound they wanted with no control, the way her body was succumbing and losing all touch just for Jimin. 
Jimin had other plans as she let go of Y/n’s shoulder and gripped the silky and long hair for leverage instead. Y/n whined at the pleasurable pain that forced her to arch even more and look up from the pillow where her cheek was pressed. There were tears in her eyes when Jimin finally got to look at the girl she got to look in the mirror that was hung up right above the desk in front of the bed's foot. 
“Look at me when I fuck you–” It was a demand, not a question that harshly left through the doctor’s lips whose hips were snapping against Y/n. “Fuck I want my whore to look me in the eye, I want to look at your pretty eyes when you cum around my cock, doll face.” She groaned, Y/n obeying her as she watched how Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed, her face contorting into deep pleasure the second she got to look at Y/n’s face which portrayed how good she felt getting nailed into the bed. It boosted Jimin’s ego, letting her know how good she managed to make her girlfriend feel. 
She wrapped her fist around the hair, getting more leverage, her stomach flexing and hand running from Y/n’s stomach to the girl’s swollen and throbbing clit. Her eyes trained on Y/n’s face whose eyes rolled and fluttered, the sounds spilling out of her lips. The walls tightly squeezed Jimin’s cock, making her groan at the feeling and in return thrust harder to get anywhere because of how tight the girl was getting the closer she was. Her walls clamped down on her cock with each thrust, hips meeting and getting louder. 
“Jimin–Jimin, I’m–” She couldn’t finish the words that were left in a desperate cry. 
The heat in her stomach was tingling with the need to be released, snapping out sooner than later as Y/n’s body tensed up. Her vision went black, ears muffled, barely being able to hear how the train of light and whiny moans escaped her lips. The sight of Y/n coming around her, her pussy spasming around her cock, throbbing around it, her eyes rolling, back arching, it all made Jimin fall right off the peak when she reached it. Her breathing grew harsh as it all came over her too. 
Y/n felt the tears run down her cheeks, whimpering at the feeling of Jimin’s cock growing harder before the creamy warm cum spilled and painted her walls. She felt each rope shoot right into her cunt, her hearing slowly coming back and being able to hear how Jimin let out light moans with her hips stuttering into Y/n to fill her the best she could, wanting every drop inside the snug pussy. Occasionally tugging on her hair as her body convulsed at the orgasm. 
“Fuck, you took it all so well, baby.” She breathed out, her grip loosening on Y/n’s hair, their chests heaving to catch their breaths as a moment of silence fell upon them. Jimin swallowed down the thickness in her throat, blinking her eyes open, slowly pulling out, making Y/n let out a light sigh. 
The older helped the girl lay down, treating her like a fragile porcelain doll. With her dick still wet she tucked it back inside her boxers, pulling up the scrubs that were resting around her thighs. She got pulled down right after and managed to fit herself by Y/n’s petite frame on the twin-sized bed. 
“Are you alright?” She asked to make sure, her arm wrapping itself around Y/n’s shoulders who hugged at the woman’s waist. Jimin grabbed hold of Y/n’s thigh, pulling it to drape over her torso to have her closer. The doctor twisted and reached behind her with her free hand, pulling out the fuzzy teddy bear with the rose that was under her. 
“Yeah.” Y/n mumbled, trying to gather herself as her breathing was still heavy, Jimin’s fingers gently running through her hair this time. Her eyes watched as Jimin held the bear, making it sit on her stomach and face them with her fingers fiddling with the fur. 
“Did you know that sex is healthy for the heart? It can bring down the chances of a heart attack by 50%.” Y/n chuckled at the words, burying her face into the crook of the woman’s warm neck who breathed out a chuckle at her own words. 
“I love you,” Jimin spoke, craning her neck and leaning down to peck the top of Y/n’s head. It made the girl pull away and looked up at the older woman. She hummed and pushed herself up, still feeling Jimin everywhere and on her lips once again when she leaned down for a slow kiss. 
“I love you,” she pulled away for a second as they looked each other in the eye and she pecked the woman’s lips once again before pulling away fully. “This was probably the most romantic Valentine’s Day so far.” Y/n admitted. It was so different yet in a way that was special because so much had happened. 
Jimin raised her eyebrows as she pushed herself up to rest against her elbows as she looked at Y/n who reached for her clothes because they still could get paged. “Really?” She questioned, gently bouncing the teddy bear against the mattress from how the words made her feel less worried that it wasn’t enough. It made her feel giddy to know that she succeeded in the end. She watched Y/n put on the scrubs before she sat back on the bed, facing Jimin with her fingers dancing over the doctor's bare stomach, trailing gentle patterns. 
“Yeah, I got to operate on a heart with my girlfriend, and we no longer have to pretend to be just coworkers.” Y/n said as her fingers ran up to where Jimin’s heart was, circling the area as she could feel the way it was pounding against her ribcage. It made Jimin grin even more and Y/n leaned back in to kiss her heart doctor. 
Maybe Valentine’s Day hadn’t gone bad at all even if they couldn’t go on a date or do something together outside the hospital. Somehow everything they had done today was romantic in its way and there was no need for grand gestures.
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veenxys · 1 year
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「Things you do that BNHA Boys think is attractive」
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⤷ Bakugou
when you kiss him;
he loves to kiss you, but he loves when you start the kiss. the way you pinned him to the wall the first time because you were madly drunk and he wasn’t; you tugged on his tie to bring him closer while your hand rested on the wall. he was completely surprised and in love, it was something hot and daring for you to do. and he didn't hesitate to place his hands on your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, tasting all the drinks you consumed a few moments before.
⤷ Deku
when you wear his clothes; it started out simple, like wearing his hoodies and sweaters when it was cold. he thought it was really cute and never missed an opportunity to say how beautiful you looked in his clothes, but everything changed after he saw you in his shirts. he offered you one when you went to spend the night at his house, he didn't imagine you would look so beautiful and cute in his clothes; he opened his mouth when he saw you coming out of the bathroom, looking you up and down. you smiled and walked over to him, flicking his nose. he smiles and comments again about how beautiful you are.
⤷ Kirishima
when you are focused on something; he can't take his eyes off you when you're working on something important on your computer or when you're going to follow some recipe you saw on the internet. something about your expression and your posture makes him weak; you are so beautiful without even trying. when you take your eyes off what you were doing before to look at him, he smiles at you, finally confessing how beautiful you are to him.
⤷ Todoroki
when you are driving; he was always very loving and patient when teaching you to drive, and he was so happy and excited when you passed your driving test and got your driver's license. and to reward you, he said you two would go to your favorite restaurant and he would let you drive his car. it was very unusual of him, but you promised you would do a good job. he finds it hot even when you were still practicing, the thought of you picking up speed, the wind in your hair, your face of concentration but quickly turning into a joyful laugh when he comments something funny. he loves to see you so beautiful driving, it's something he can't explain, just feel; and just a crooked smile is on his face, seeing how well he's trained you. your boyfriend could only relax in the passenger seat and look at you.
⤷ Denki
when you laugh at his jokes and pranks; your boyfriend makes corny jokes sometimes and you know it; maybe they aren't funny all the time, but they manage to end up being witty. it wasn't just about his jokes but how he reacts afterwards, his laugh is infectious, the amused look in his eyes and a growing excitement on his face which makes you laugh with him in the end. he would take this opportunity to hear you laugh and look at you as if you were the most beautiful person in the world; you wouldn't understand how his heart raced every time even if you said how you hate your laugh sometimes. but for him, it's one of the reasons he loves you.
⤷ Tamaki
when you play with dogs or children; he can't do anything but stand there admiring you as you bend down to pet a stray kitten or a dog that has wagged its tail at you. he finds it so purely cute how your eyes sparkle and how you stop whatever you’re doing to caress them. and his heart races in his chest when he sees you doing baby voice to talk to your nephews or cousins kids, and how they look at you happily. he thinks you're so precious and amazing and he can't stop thinking about it, and how lucky he is to have you by his side.
⤷ Shinsou
when you lower your voice to talk to him.
it doesn't matter if it's the middle of the night when you're lying sleepless, or when you come over and whisper something in his ear. the way your voice is so seductive and sweet makes him shiver and want to hear you talk more and more, especially when you give him a not so innocent smile.
⤷ Hawks
when you sit on his lap; he won't do it if you're not comfortable, but he loves pulling you into his lap, especially when you're facing him. it all started when he came home late at night and was so exhausted; his head fell against the back of the sofa while he looked at the ceiling, his body wanted at least cuddles and that's why you came sitting on his lap to hug him. all he did was blush and hug you back, burying his face in your shoulder, leaving a kiss. your boyfriend couldn't help but smile and completely melt against you, and this has become one of his favorite things that he looks forward to doing every time he comes home.
⤷ Dabi
when you put on makeup or lipstick; he loves watching you do your makeup, your eyes occasionally meeting through the mirror. you ask why he looks at you so much while you apply your mascara, and he just smiles like a lovestruck fool. but for him, the best part is when you put on lipstick or just a lip balm; there's something attractive and sensual about it and he can't wait to get that color off your lips, just for you to pass it again - a little mad at him, but you don't complain.
⤷ Shigaraki
when you adjust your clothes; it seems simple, but he finds the way you adjust your skirt by wiggling the waist up a little attractive. that little movement is guaranteed to draw his eyes and make him to do a silent 'ooohh…' or how you fit his jacket around you with so much love and care, as if he were there hugging you.
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comfortless · 9 days
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to the anon who was talking about konig and the rule following intention thing: i love you. he seems cheeky like that. BUT i will also climb that big man and start strangling him if he entertained or led on the recruit.
idk, maybe its my rabies, but i would start whacking him grgrgrgrg. wrangle him till he acts right!!!!! (whatever that means)
i also love that anon! 🤭
Being instructed to “act right” for König is more or less the same as following any order at work. “Shoot that target.” is the very same as “Don’t glare at a stranger.” The differences between the König at home and the König on the field are subtle things. No bloodshed and rewards in the form of tenderness and orgasms instead. He’s less rigid, less focused, but still a soldier, the strangest one at that.
Everything is taken as directly as possible, because he’s not going to question any hidden meaning behind words. That’s silly. He always says just what he means, so shouldn’t everyone else?
There’s a lot he just doesn’t get, and your jealousy happens to be one of those things.
He would kill for you, lets you graze your fingertips over his favorite weapons, allows you to hold his face and even pretends that your staring doesn’t make his fingers twitch and sweat bead at his temples. König is loyal and so trusting with you… how dare you accuse him of worshipping some other woman in the same way? How could you even believe that?
Say you, his beloved, put together the pieces, realize that surely this woman is messaging your König during his leave for a reason. There’s an argument to be had, one that’s less of a screaming fit and more of a break down from both sides. You tell him through gritted teeth and tears that you know your intuition isn’t wrong: he’s done something, you just aren’t certain what that something is. There’s no outright accusation spoken, but his face immediately grows red and his eyes narrow.
It’s not that he even cares to question why you would think that way. He just wants to know where he’s failed. What is it that you need that he’s not already providing? He takes an awful picture of his cock each time he’s hard and away from you, even follows it up with one of the aftermath of thinking of you. No other woman makes him feel so starved.
He knows he isn’t very romantic; you would probably prefer actual dates instead of watching him train or following along like a cute accessory at the gym. But he brings you flowers, licks your cunt without hesitation, buys you feminine products and chocolate any time that you’re in need of them. Sure, each picnic date ends with your chest pressed against a sturdy tree or your thighs spread atop the patterned blanket, but the confessions hissed into your hair are true. It’s never just been sex, not to him. It’s love, and that’s one word he never seems to shy away from saying. He’s greedy, wouldn’t want something so simple, not after every moment you’ve spent together.
König might not get why you’re so into some new trend or show, but he listens when you talk about them. Or tries, at least. Really, he had no idea why you would bother explaining to him why you prefer a dress with wiry straps over something cozier when he arrives home, but he’s happy to just listen to your voice and shush you with kisses when he doesn’t know how else to respond.
You’re allowed access to his phone any time you like, even shows you his bank account to prove he hasn’t taken some lady a world away off on some expensive shopping trip or spent a curious amount at a pharmacy. In fact…. He’s barely spent anything while away, all of the transactions are from the last time he was on leave or at that cute little shop he had told you about and brought you home some shiny new gift from. There’s nothing suspicious to be found… except for those messages from the woman he tells you is just a recruit.
So… what if you’re just projecting?
To him, his own jealousy is righteous.
König almost looks scary when he’s upset, not that he would ever lay a hand on you. Maybe the coffee table will be in disarray, cleared entirely when the thought of you leaving proves to be far too much. His shirt suffers a few massive tears when he grips at his chest to show you just where you’re hurting him.
You may not have outright accused him, but König can’t hold his tongue when he asks you about this imaginary other man. Is he handsome? Does he buy you nice things? Does he make you come hard? How did you meet and just where does he live? Do you love him…?
König would try his utmost to hold back tears. He feels weak when he cries, and the last thing he wants is for you to view him as fragile. He’s supposed to protect you.
But it’s all gone in a flash. His entire being seems to relax when you explain to him that there is no other man. The unshed tears are wiped away, a heavy sigh leaves him when he rubs at his face. He feels like the worst idiot just stood there blinking in surprise while you’re still pissed, but at least that scenario proves to be untrue.
You just want to understand why he’s entertaining some other woman’s flirtations. Is that what telling some recruit she’s got sharp aim and allowing her to grasp at his arm and admire his muscles is..? He will admit that maybe he’s allowed her too much closeness, even if he never has and never will return her affections.
It baffles him entirely for a moment, slows his tongue enough to have a grin curl at his lips. It’s the most flattering thing in the entire world to think that you desire him so much that the thought of sharing makes you like this. The realization that maybe you’re just as territorial as he is is impossibly cute, makes him twice as obnoxious and overbearing when you’re pulled into his arms.
His voice takes an amused lilt when he asks you just what you want him to do about it. Cut her off? He’ll avoid her entirely if it appeases you. He doesn’t want to hurt a woman that isn’t an actual enemy, so killing her is certainly out of the question, but he can be scary if you would like that. She wouldn’t like him as much if she saw his face. He would remind you that only a silly thing like yourself could ever be keen on it. Your orders are absolute, so long as he still gets a treat in the end.
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thisdreamplace · 9 months
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for those who struggle
i recently got sent an anon message about frustrations surrounding the law, and how non-dualism hasn't made it any easier for them, but actually just more frustrating to the point where they're officially walking away from everything and wanting to just go back to live as they knew it before any of this.
the truth is that, oversimplification runs rampant in this community. as well as, hiding behind the realities of how difficult it all can be, because people are afraid of affirming that it's difficult or identifying with difficulty... but when we hide from this experience and try to come off as if it doesn't affect us, while simultaneously trying to give out advice, there tends to be more damage than good happening. the oversimplifying isn't the fault of anyone, as the truth is most of this is simple. but in actually living it, it tends to not be simple at all. the ego will fight till the very end to keep things the way they are, even when they hurt us. and that is worth being honest about.
when it comes to non-identification and indifference, this is not meant to be used to as yet another way to pretend something isn't happening or push down your feelings or gaslight yourself. i see these posts like, "just ignore the 3d and don't identify with it and you would have already have what you wanted" ..... this doesn't actually really help anyone, unless you're a person who strives on that kind of mentality. but i think a lot of people need a little more gentleness and realness, otherwise this journey wouldn't have been so difficult and painful. we'd all just get it overnight, but clearly, this community stays extremely active for a reason. because the million ways its already been explained still leaves so many confused and frustrated.
indifference is a daily practice, and it is NOT one that includes pretending something doesn't exist in exchange for getting what you want. it is actually, the extreme opposite. it's by acknowledging what's there... and allowing that to be what it is. the non-identification comes in from how you choose to see YOURSELF in relation to whatever that thing is. "this is painful, this sucks, i hate it... but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better for me. it doesn't mean my life is doomed..." etc etc etc. it's this very small flip within yourself, that actually leads to results. not trying to force yourself into believing you aren't even who you are when you've identified as yourself this entire life. remember that god's name is I AM, and literally nothing else.
and doing something to get something else is just... not it. it's time for you to truly want to feel better, regardless of anything else. that's why so much of this starts to get trickier than it needs to be.
non-identification is literally as simple as realizing... you are bound to no past, and you have the opportunity of every future you can possibly imagine. why ? because non-identification is literally just non-attachment. when you're not attached to this idea of who you were, of the struggles you used to face, you're able to allow in different experiences. and y'all... this as simple as being able to say to yourself, "i am allowed to experience something new" and don't let your fear of the unknown stop you from experiencing something new.
here's where it doesn't feel so simple though. how can you just stop identifying with this whole human self when the traumas of the past keep coming back to haunt you ? thats the thing. you don't just stop identifying with it. you let this be a process, a non-linear path to liberation. slowly, but surely, if you keep at it everyday, even when you feel you're only going backwards... one day you will realize how much more free you are. how much more easier it is to move into a new beautiful story for yourself, one that isn't contiminated by your past. but let today be today ! and whatever may come, let it come.
this is why just focusing on yourself is so helpful because if you're simply doing the best you can for yourself and your feeling state, the daily dramas are no longer your ruler.
the gag is that, the more you just do these small daily practices of sitting with yourself, choosing to not engage in the stories you used to identify with in the past, and allow new experiences to come to you... the more easy it gets, the more the truth of yourself begins to show itself on its own. you have to realize that the days are going to keep passing by anyway... so stop counting them, and just commit to yourself.
i also want to quickly note that so many seem to leave out the fact that behind all of this, within the pure nothingness that is also everything. behind our human identifications and all the things we have experienced in our lives, there is unconditional love. and when we actually begin to stop identifying so deeply with who we thought we are, we are lead right back to unconditional love. love in its purest form. so, use love as your guide when things get too difficult. it's the truest thing to who you really are.
you have to let allow yourself to experience the beautiful, despite how strange it may feel. because it's going to feel strange if you've never really experienced it before, and the ego is going to fight because even when it's good, the unknown is still strange and scary. and you never have to be perfect at this to get to experience the things you want, believe it or not. i know that i still have a long way to go on this journey, there may be much more time before i ever get to fully experience the promise in full, but that hasn't stopped me from experiencing the desires of my heart on a daily basis. that's because i used these simple things, these small little flips in how i chose to see life. even if the anxiety never went away, or it was a more difficult day full of tears... this is way more possible for you than you realize. if only you're willing to allow your life to be different than it's always been. just that small allowance, opens up all the doors.
xo dream 🕊
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kairiscorner · 8 months
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question of the day: who would fall the hardest if they ever fell in love?
well... i've got 4 candidates in mind, and i think... (3/4)
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
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miguel o'hara. — guilty of falling hard for you.
summary: for all of his life, he's never felt the need to be in love or to love, he's never felt the rush, the surge of electricity coursing through his body when he's close to or with someone he even remotely finds spending time with enjoyable--until you happened, you came, and everything changed. pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader genre: fluff as FUCKKKK
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miguel o'hara is a stern, serious man; nobody would approach him for anything unless it was absolutely necessary. he made it clear he didn't want to be spoken to by anyone unless he specifically requested to speak to them, he's that professional when it comes to those he works and associates with. though when it came to you, all professionalism it out the window–in private, at least.
miguel o'hara swore to himself that connections and attachment were the last things he needed right now. all that he needed was the safety of the multiverse to be ensured, and that would be it. it didn't matter to him what would happen next or what would happen to him, just not other people getting hurt at his expense or if be could help it. but thankfully, ever since he met that extremely wonderful, strong, kind, and compassionate somebody in his life that changed his everything... he had a new, more personal reason to want to keep the multiverse intact, on top of his other reasons, you were one of his only reasons to keep going.
miguel o'hara is a practical man, he doesn't do things that warrant sentiment, at least not anymore. though little by little, he noticed that you've always done things for him–such simple, everyday things he and other people could do for themselves–make coffee for him, buy him some treats you know he likes from your home dimension, and share with him little trinkets you want him to have or think he'd like.
miguel o'hara was moved, very gradually, by your little acts of kindness and generosity for him. in a way, he's felt the need to do the same for you in return, but all his attempts have been awkward; he refuses to acknowledge your words of thanks outwardly–just nodding or looking away from you and muttering a 'you're welcome' under his breath–and he struggles explaining why he got you those things or did those things for you, well, he always explains, even when the act itself is self-explanatory.
miguel o'hara wants to let you know that it's never his intention to come off as a big, scary grizzly bear of a man; he's just a guy, a guy who has anger issues and finds a lot of things wrong with himself that you find–for some reason–beautiful. "why are you romanticizing my flaws?" he'd ask you with a genuinely puzzled look and questioning tone; he'd never use the word 'beautiful' to describe his own plethora of mistakes, regrets, and reasons why people don't find him approachable or amicable–but you do, for whatever reason that may be.
miguel o'hara didn't think he'd find himself in this situation, being spoken to with these kinds of words–it doesn't feel real, he doesn't feel worthy of this kind of treatment. he's done many bad, irreversible things in his life; unknowingly hurt many, many people with his actions. hearing you say that it's not his flaws that you find beautiful, but rather, it's the fact that he's trying to correct the failures from those flaws he has that's beautiful.
miguel o'hara is perplexed, and he feels a little whirlwind in his stomach and his heart feels a little lighter; he feels... strange, though a good kind of strange–he doesn't want this foreign feeling to end, yet his mind keeps telling him to disengage, tell you not to keep praising him like this–because he knows, he'll fall for you even more than he already has.
miguel o'hara can't believe it, he admitted it to himself: he's fallen for you, he's still falling for you. this scares miguel even more than you can imagine; he's hopelessly, utterly, very much in love with you. you being a strong, capable, and respectable member of his team is one factor in him finding you so amazing–but you being a kind, gentle person towards him is a whole nother thing that made him spiral into this whirlpool of emotions for you.
miguel o'hara wakes up every morning thinking about you, spends the rest of his day with you in the front of his mind, and ends his day with you as his final though before drifting off to sleep–with you being in every one of his dreams ever since you two became close.
miguel o'hara never goes on with the rest of his day without the the feeling and memory of you being carried in his heart–he can't even begin to understand how through your constant smothering of kindness towards him did he become... fond of you. he has never felt this compelled to be near someone, to have his mind casually and involuntarily storing adjectives and compliments to describe you and how you you can be.
miguel o'hara is undoubtedly conflicted about what he should do to quell the feeling, because even though he wants to avoid it at all costs and to ignore that it's there, he desperately wants to be near you and hold you close to him–you're all that's right in the multiverse to him, and if you being kind to him is just in your nature and not because the multiverse decreed you to be so, he's even more in love with your pure and clean heart and soul and he wants to be with you all the more.
miguel o'hara tries to do everything he can to ignore the nagging of his heart and listen to the rationalizations of his mind; you're better off without him, and he's better off not feeling anything for you, even if it means he has to bury it–like he does with all other feelings he has–and never speak of it again to properly hide it from everyone, including himself.
miguel o'hara, though, just can't avoid you. he can't avoid your constant presence in his daily life, he can't avoid your tender, giving self–and he can't avoid you because you're permanently living in his mind rent-free, and you work with him. he doesn't want to avoid you, he just thinks that's what's best for you–but if you have no problem being near him, treating him like a friend as opposed to a mere colleague, and complimenting him in areas where he's confused and conflicted over and helping him grow as a person... then maybe the multiverse is cutting him some slack for once and giving him a chance to... to love, and to love deeply, passionately, and truly for the first time in ever.
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tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok
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wakkass · 8 months
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It's impossible to put into words how much I love designing characters, especially for AU.
Yes, I recently had an avatar AU, and I really wanted to draw Katara from there (and also Zuko). I usually draw a static pose in order to display all the details of the clothes. This is such a kind of character sheet that helps me to better imagine the scenes in my head.
If you're interested in reading about the AU itself, then there will be some information about it.
I apologize in advance for mistakes in the text, English is not my native language. But, I hope, this will not interfere with understanding.
In general, my AU concerns the ending of the series, because at some point it seemed unrealistic to me. There is too much positivity with the obvious problems of the post-military space, as well as little logic in some moments (for example, I don't understand what Zuko was doing in Ba Sing Se. Did he abandon his newfound throne to the mercy of fate with the risk of a palace coup? Did he not feel the effects of a lightning strike? The longer I think about it, the surreal it seems to me).
At some point I thought, "this is all like Aang's dream, in which everything is intentionally good. As if this is the ending he wants, but it's unattainable." And then it dawned on me. But it really looks like his fantasy about the future after defeating the root of evil. This explains why Zuko recovered so easily, why everyone is just relaxing and having fun without a drop of post-trauma. Because Aang wants everything to be so naive and simple after defeating the Fire Lord. Because he's dreaming about it.
I know this is a very hackneyed narrative technique. It's pretty easy to say "this is someone's dream" to deny any events. But I found it curious, especially against the background of the episode "Nightmares and Daydreams", where Aang's dreams already simplified the reality around him. For me, it's like a lead-up to the finale, where he actually sleeps.
You ask, "but why is he sleeping?". I also asked this question, and the answer to it killed me. Because during the battle with Ozai, when the stone hit Aang in the wound, he fell into a coma. His body was paralyzed because his brain perceived it as a repeated lightning strike, again fatal. The avatar's state was the only one that did not allow Aang to die, but only to fall into a coma. And instead of an epic battle, we have a little helpless boy spending a huge amount of energy just to maintain his life.
The second Aang collapsed, he disappeared, leaving Ozai alone with the remnants of his temporary power. And no one else saw the avatar…
I'll leave the intrigue for you about this, but for now I'll tell you about the concepts from the art.
Naturally, everyone searched for Aang, and, naturally, they did not find him. Katara and Zuko were the only ones who did not participate in the search, for several reasons:
Zuko was rehabilitated for a very long time after being struck by lightning, and Katara nursed him (I'm sure there are a lot of fics about this topic. The only difference is that there is no romance here. The focus of my AU is not on it, but on the problems of the consequences of the war). He survived, but he had major problems with his heart, digestive system and spine. Who noticed the cane in his hands? Yes, Zuko couldn't walk without it. From now on and forever. He was physically unable to leave the palace, and Katara maintained at least some of his condition.
Even after Zuko's rehabilitation, it was necessary to keep the power in his hands. Imagine what a shock the Fire Nation experienced when not just the former Fire Lord was overthrown, but the country's policy changed dramatically. Now Zuko needed to keep power in his hands and establish a new regime as soon as possible, before his opponents raised armies and people against him. This boy, who recently sat quietly at a military meeting, needed to show unprecedented strength and power to everyone: both officials sought to turn the situation in their favor, and the people who wanted stability and prosperity. But how to do this if Zuko couldn't even breathe normally, and getting out of bed required tremendous effort? It was impossible… Anyone else would have given up, but not Zuko. He has never given up without a fight and has never turned his back on danger, even if he risks dying.
It hurts me a lot for him, too. Fate has never stopped pushing Zuko against obstacles, but this time he couldn't rely on himself. He almost couldn't bend, his body almost didn't obey. He was an easy target and there was nothing he could do about it. This helplessness irritated him, saddened him, oppressed him. The only thing that wasn't broken yet was his spirit, and Zuko was barely able to maintain it in such conditions. If it wasn't for Katara, I don't know if he would have coped in the end. She was now his only support, his only ally in these cold oppressive walls, the only rational grain in his doubts.
You ask, "Where is Iroh? Where is Mai?"
Iroh, along with the White Lotus, took on a mission to liberate the Earth Kingdom from the Fire Army and establish relations with the kingdom. In fact, Iroh now shared power with Zuko: uncle was engaged in foreign policy so that his nephew could focus on domestic policy.
With Mai, everything was much simpler: after getting out of prison, she was completely disappointed in the guy who always left her. She sent him a letter, where she finally ended their relationship, and left with her family somewhere far away. Perhaps she and Zuko will cross paths again and will be able to establish a relationship. But not now.
Katara remained to help Zuko not only with treatment, but also with his policy. As a resident of an almost disappearing tribe, as well as an able leader, she helped him with projects and plans to improve the quality of life of the population and actively participates in them. She performed those missions that Zuko can only entrust to her. After all, she was a friend he could rely on and to whom he could open his feelings.
In her design, I wanted to reflect the combination of two cultures: Fire and Water. I was based on the designs of the "12 Kingdoms" (if you haven't watched this gorgeous anime or haven't read ranobe, I strongly recommend doing it. This universe is no less interesting than the avatar's world, I'm sure you'll like it), because the palace intrigues and the plot with winning the respect of the court reminds me very much of the story from there.
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One day Zuko's legs finally gave up, he could not get up. All the stress he was going through was breaking his body so much that at some point the Katara's treatment stopped working.
It was a very difficult moment for both of them. Zuko has just started to promote his ideas and defend his rights to the throne, and Katara sincerely did not know what to do. If the truth about the true state of the Fire Lord had come out, all the ill-wishers would not leave this opportunity and attack, this couldn't be allowed. They urgently needed to create the appearance that everything is in order, but how?
Zuko came up with a very brazen idea. He asked Katara to use bloodbending on him to simulate walking. It was a very difficult request for her, because this skill represented the worst face of the war, it was created to torture people. And the last thing she wanted was to torment Zuko. She hesitated for a long time, he saw it, but he couldn't wait. He couldn't stop, it wasn't a luxury he could afford. Therefore, he went out, trying not to get up and move much.
Naturally, at some point his weakness was noticed at the most inopportune moment. Naturally, at this moment Katara couldn't let Zuko fall. Imperceptibly under her sleeves, she moved her friend's body like a puppet, causing him as much unbearable pain as most would not stand. But Zuko was not like that. He stood it.
It looked like this to me somehow:
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They were both very depressed that day. He was suffering physically because of Katara's bending, and she could not believe that she had caused the suffering of a person dear to her. It broke and scared her, she opened the way to the Hama's madness, and was very afraid to fall into it.
Zuko assured her that it was impossible. Hama didn't have people to guide her, while Katara has friends. Maybe Zuko didn't consider himself the best moral mentor, but he promised to be there in the most difficult moments for Katara, and now he won't leave her.
This encouraged her and opened her eyes to her own cowardice. She was afraid of the darkness of Hama, and instead of curbing it, Katara hid it in herself, ignored it. And that's what it led to: the person who needed her help suffered. But she didn't want to run away anymore. She wasn't going to give up without a fight and turn her back on those who needed her.
At the beginning, Katara trained on herself, experiencing the same pain as the victims of bloodbending. Careless movement of blood through the vessels could cause internal bleeding at any time, it was very dangerous. The Hama's voice in her head pressed on her conscience, saying that innocent people felt all this pain, and only Katara was to blame for this.
Later, she learned to control the flow of water on puppets, like Hama. The point was to pass water through the threads without bursting them. Absolute control was required here, and Zuko taught her the techniques of firebending for self-control. This was necessary for Katara, because the Hama's voice in her head did not subside and did not allow her to correctly distribute her forces. It seemed like Katara was about to stumble, but Zuko wouldn't let her do it.
Gradually, Katara mastered this skill and tried to draw blood on Zuko's legs. The effect was unexpected. Her great willpower and desire to help him resulted in healing. Zuko began to feel his legs, and Katara discovered the reverse side of this bending. No, she didn't heal him completely, it's too early for him to get rid of the cane. But maybe one day she will become so strong that she can do it.
Katara realized that there was no evil magic, there was only evil intent. This was her first step towards learning to look inner demons in the face, and not to hide them in herself when it was possible to hurt others.
But what about the other design?
Katara's father sent her a letter asking her to return. Her family needed her help, because she was the last waterbender, a carrier of culture and skills, as well as a healer of a new level, the daughter of a tribal leader.
At home, everything was not the same as before, moreover, everything taked shape as a Northern Tribe. I really like the idea of the comic "North and South" about the problem of assimilation. Only here has Katara accepted all aspects of its culture, even the most unpleasant ones, and she would not give up so easily when this newfound knowledge was in danger of disappearing.
Actually, I wanted to draw her outfit of this arch. I wanted to redesign the costume for myself, because I like to do it. I kept the front strands of Katara, we don't talk much about them.
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I would really like to describe the path of the rest of the team and what they do, of Aang and what happens to him. But I'm already tired of typing, and you probably read.
After all, the post is more about designs, and not about the AU itself, so the goal to reveal some of my ideas has been achieved in principle. Maybe sometime later.
Hope you enjoyed reading this :3
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satellite-evans · 8 months
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poets & soulmates
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Pairing: Harry Styles x reader
Summary: Harry doesn’t know how to react when he learns that you don’t believe in soulmates.
Word count: a cute little blurb
Warnings: angst? Flufffff
A/N: heyyyyy!!!!!
It’s been ages since I last posted a fic, so I am soooo excited to post my very first Harry Styles one! I really hope you guys like it, I’ve worked on this for a while, so let’s see how it goes. I’m very excited and nervous to post this, but I am so happy to be back! Please tell me what you guys think and give me as much as feedback as you can so I can grow and be a better Harry fic writer for you all xxx
English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, talks, vents, recommendations or just simple questions are always welcome.
Happy reading xxx
I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.
~
If you had to describe the love you shared with Harry with a poem, you would probably choose the one from Edgar Allan Poe.
“We loved with a love that was more than love.”
It said so much in such few words; the best description of your love for him.
Because it is true, it is more than love. Always had been. If you took the love out of the relationship, you and Harry would be left with so much to survive. There was trust, for example. And also intimacy. Not to forget there was an understanding between you, too, that no one understood. If you were in a room with thousands of people, he would recognize you, every single time. Like you were a shining diamond between rocks. The effect you both had on each other, was beyond explaining in chemistry. Harry could touch you, and the breath that would escape from your lips oh so silently would already expose the effect he had on you.
Harry was no different, either. Seeing you smile proudly when you looked at him, made him turn into dust, that you blew away with your eyes. But he was afraid at first. To love.
He was afraid to love you.
For him, you were a stunning mystery. You carried things deep inside you that no one understood, and Harry was afraid to fail like the others. In his eyes, you were like the ocean and he was just a man who loved the waves but was completely terrified of swimming.
How couldn’t he be? At twenty nine, everyone had an idea in their head about how Harry was in relationships. Some said that he was single because he had commitment issues, others said the reason he was still alone was that he was too much of a playboy.
Yes, he had a few relationships before you and some of them did not end well, but Harry always respected and treated them with his kindness, always wanted the best for them.
He would do everything for his love, for you.
“Hey, love?” He asked you, clearly with hesitation. The way his voice shook a little didn’t go unnoticed by you in his London home where the both of you were lying in his bed. After spring came, Harry offered you to stay with him until summer so the two of you could enjoy long walks in the park with his favorite companion. You never said yes to an offer so quickly before in your life.
“Yes H, everything okay?”
How? How was it that every time Harry wanted to start a subject that was sensitive for him, you already knew by just the way he asked you his first question? Call it magic, call it luck. Harry liked to call it love.
“Do you think we’re soulmates? Like-I mean, we would be together and we will be forever?”
He didn’t know why that question was so important to him, but it was. He wanted to know your opinions and thoughts about the future both of you had. Every time Harry was dreaming about his future and how it would look, he realized you were always there. In the audience when he opened his biggest show ever, in the delivery room when he held his baby for the first time, everywhere. So your answer was very important to him. He wanted- no; he needed to know if he was present in your future as much as you were present in his.
“No, I don’t think we are. But that’s because I don’t believe in soulmates.”
Ouch. That shouldn’t have hurt him, but it did. Blaming you would be pointless. You didn’t believe in the whole idea of soulmates, but that didn’t make him less insecure. He knew it was too good to be true. That you were too good to be true.
The whole aura of the room changed and Harry slowly got up from where he was lying between your legs. You saw that his demeanor changed and that the happy, slightly tired Harry got replaced with a sad Harry.
“Hey, hey what’s that all about? Why the sad face?”
Honesty was one thing you both took extremely seriously. So that’s what you wanted to do this time, too. But without realizing you broke slightly Harry’s heart.
“It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to believe we are soulmates. I don’t know why I’m sad if I am being honest.” He said with a slight smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. He was clearly devastated by your answer.
You sat closer to him on his bed, touched his cheeks with your hands, and stared him deeply into his eyes. Harry already felt his heartbeat going faster. It was going so fast that he thought he was going to have a stroke. He held on to your arm dearly, so if he fainted, you could hold him. Like you always had been.
“I don’t believe in soulmates, and I don’t think that you & I were meant to end up together. What I believe is that we fell in love & that we worked hard for our relationship. I mean, look at you, you’re an amazing person with qualities so great that an individual can only dream of having those. Every woman is lucky to have you. I am from another country and I am younger than you. Remember all the news that they made about us when we first started going out? They told me I was a gold digger, that you were too good for me, that you cheated on me, and so on. But we didn’t listen to any of them. We let our love grow because we knew, H. We knew that what we had was special, and not everybody was lucky enough to feel what we felt. So no, I don’t think we are soulmates. But you are the one for me; Harry. You were in my past when I didn’t even know. You are my person in the present, And you will be in the future. Because I will always, undoubtedly, love you.”
Without waiting for his response, you connected your lips with his. You knew he was sensitive and these bare confessions took a toll on him, so you just kissed him, to let him know it was okay. That you were there for him, always.
“Just give me 3-5 business days, and I’ll come up with even a bigger love confession, promise.”
Harry said, after he broke the bruising kiss.
He wasn’t lying. Harry had no words to say to you. He knew you loved him, but not that much. It was like his brain & heart were on fire and you just put them out with your words. Relief washed over him, and like a cherry on his favorite cake, you kissed him with adoration.
“Oh, I know you will. It’s a known fact that you were always better with words, but just so you know, you don’t have to. I feel your love every time you look at me. Hate to break it to you, but your eyes give it away how much you love me, Styles.”
He didn’t care about the idea of the whole soulmate anymore. He felt so stupid that he was thinking about that. The love that the both of you shared, was more special, and rare. The two of you were even better than soulmates.
“That I do, Y/N. That I do. I love you so fucking much. It sometimes hurts. It hurts not to touch you, not to be near you, not to kiss you.”
He closed the gap between you with a passionate kiss again, that knocked your breath away. Your whole body was on fire, not knowing what to do. With every touch of his on your skin, the fire started to get more and more aggressive. He released your lips, but stayed close, so you could feel his breath on your lips and he could hear your heartbeat going faster.
“I am no poet, Y/N but just know that if I was, you would be my biggest inspiration.”
You looked him in the eyes, trying to control your breathing, but it was a lost cause. His blue eyes were like ice digging into your heart, and the only thing you could do was surrender.
“That might be the best poem I’ve ever heard.”
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Yo! Good morning/evening, hope you are fine^^💝. I wanted to ask you a question but I was afraid that it may bother you or something (you know..that feeling when you are scared that you might disturb someone or being an unwelcome person) but yeah I will ask you since i was serious about your answer for some time now so I hope I'm not annoying you or something *feel free to answer only if you wish^^. You seem to know the characters pretty well, you are quite capable and great at reading and understanding them, one of the things I'm serious about is what do you think would make someone qualified enough to be with malleus? Do they have to be of the same species?certain Reputation, stature or traits?(sorry can't help it since I can't rest until I know everything about what interests me and figure it all out😅). Thanks for giving me some of your precious time I really like your blog, you're amazing💜
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No worries, you’re not bothering me at all ^^ I love to talk about my hyperfixations www
Now, I know a lot of fans (particularly on the EN side) like to ship Malleus with their OC and especially with Yuu so I want to first make it clear that my response is NOT meant to invalidate those Malleus shippers. Whatever I say here is based on my own interpretation of canon lore (and let’s be real here, TWST won’t ever confirm if anyone is romantically interested in Yuu because it might not work with how some players view their own relationship with that character). In fanon, anyone can be with anyone, but in canon there are very specific in-universe rules and expectations laid out for Malleus so these are what I will be referring to.
I also want to emphasize that the final traits I discuss in this post do NOT reflect Malleus’s personal tastes or views. He has little say in what kind of an individual his spouse would be, so his own preferences are not speculated about or taken into account here. The traits I will be bringing up are based on what I believe the lore implies are the desirable traits for those marrying into the Draconia royal family.
We got it? Good 👍 Read more below the cut!!
Firstly, I’m completely disregarding the ideas of “Malleus can love whoever he wants to love”, “Malleus can scare people into accepting who he loves”, and/or “Malleus can change the law so he can marry who he loves” (a la Sultan from Aladdin or through some other Disney magic or logic). Here’s why:
In general, those solutions for “high stakes issues” are too simple, and that has never been how Twisted Wonderland tackles complicated problems. Just look at every single OB boy’s backstory. They’re so complex that they aren’t totally resolved by the end of their books; these problems persist and are long term things each of them are working on addressing. This is also true of the politics TWST introduces to us; Leona for example explains how there is social pushback and resistance to the idea of infrastructure reform because the culture of the Sunset Savanna stresses harmony with nature. This has made it difficult for them to adopt new technologies because real politicians in their world have to seriously weigh their cultural values with their health and societal progress. The only time there are really easy solutions are in events or vignettes where the emotional stakes are not super high, but who Malleus marries is, in fact, super important since this will entirely change the life of a main character and his country.
With that first bullet point in mind… No, Malleus cannot love whoever he wants to love. Certainly, he may feel affection for another but he can never truly be with them. He is royalty and the only heir to the throne of Briar Valley. It follows that he is expected to marry for political reasons/to better his nation. This is a non-negotiable obligation for him.
Rather than saying, “Malleus cannot scare people into accepting who he loves”, I think it’s more accurate to say Malleus knows he probably shouldn’t. I mean, yes, he may be upset about his S/O not being accepted by his people but I feel that is discrediting a lot of the loyalty he has for his own country. As a kid he may have thrown tantrums when he was upset and potentially harmed staff, but as a 178 year old he has a much better understanding of decorum and maintaining it in spite of his own grudges. For example, even though he personally dislikes Leona he still commands Sebek to apologize to him because, at the end of the day, this could harm Briar Valley’s relationship with the Sunset Savanna. That’s not to say that Malleus can’t be petty (he definitely is)—but implying he would be petty toward basically his entire country just because they would disapprove of the one he loves?? (We know this would likely be true because Sebek’s parents faced similar backlash when they got together.) I feel like his own sense of awareness and responsibility for his country, crown, and people would override that. As an example, Malleus states that he has never been in a car before because the senate would be against it and often kept Malleus in the castle. Someone of his power could easily ignore them and sneak out and do whatever he wanted, yet the dialogue implies Malleus didn’t. He obeyed his political advisors even when he was younger and arguably much more immature. Malleus might not like certain decisions made about his life but it sounds like he ultimately complies with them.
Continuing from the previous point, let’s say for the sake of argument that Malleus does scare everyone into line. What about his public image and the mental health of his S/O? Maybe Malleus can frighten people to not talk out of turn to his face, but he cannot control what people whisper about him behind closed doors or to treat his S/O well or like they actually like them. Not only would they be alienated (away from their own home and forced to adapt to a new one) but they’d be treated oddly by others too. What kind of reputation is that for Malleus? To be a tyrant king who throws a hissy fit anytime someone talks about his partner in a way he doesn’t approve of? With a spouse who is not at their best mentally because of the constant ostracization? (This is similar to what Leona experienced in his childhood.) I don’t think Malleus would want to subject anyone to that kind of life, especially not one he loves. And again, this attitude would be the vast majority of his people. It’s not like it can be avoided or resolved in an easy manner, especially when the people of Briar Valley have proven to be against change.
Lastly, Malleus would not change the law so he can be with whoever he wants to. To begin with, I doubt this is a unilateral position the senate would approve of. But okay, let’s accept that Malleus is royalty so his power overrides the advisors’ power. So he effectively just changed a law for a very selfish and personal reason rather than changing something to actually benefit his people. That doesn’t feel in-character for him, not when Malleus seems to understand that it is the duty of those in higher status to help those below them rather than themselves (see: Riddle’s Suitor Suit vignettes. Malleus has acted selfish before, yes (who remembers Endless Halloween Night? His Dorm Uniform vignettes? I do.)—but never at the cost of changing the status quo of his country. (Book 7 is not included here because he’s in a very distressed emotional state then; this “new law” scenario posits that Malleus is in a normal state of mind.) This is a major change—change which Briar Valley, its people, and most importantly, Malleus, are not ready for. You think there wouldn’t be social pushback against this? From a society that has become complacent with its own way of life and is still isolated from the rest of the world? That Malleus, someone who struggles greatly with accepting life changes himself, could enact such a big change so easily? (On a more technical level, you don’t just pass a law and it instantly becomes tangible or real, there is a process of approval and then implementation.)
Additionally, it’s made clear in Ghost Marriage that “[Malleus] cannot enter into an engagement lightly”, which is why Sebek goes in his place. Eliza, the Ghost Bride, is royalty (er, albeit dead) but it seems that royal status is not enough to qualify as his partner. Maybe this is because she’s dead and doesn’t have anything of value for Briar Valley (no land, no people, no political power), but it could also mean that the partner has to be given the thumbs up by other parties.
All that being said, here are some of the conditions I think would have to be met for Malleus’s future spouse:
Has to be someone of equal or at least high status. This means they also have to be a royal or at least of nobility. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who is referred to as a duke.
Because of how self-contained Briar Valley is + nocturnal fae having beef with diurnal fae, I imagine his partner would have to also be a nocturnal fae. This would also solve the MASSIVE lifespan difference between fae and non-fae because at least fae would be far closer to each other even if their lifespans fluctuate but subspecies.
Someone suited to rule by his side. Being married into any royal family is no joke—it comes with the expectation that you will contribute somehow, and the partner should be fully equipped to enter the world of politics with him.
Piggybacking off the last point, I think mental fortitude is also a prerequisite. This is because being a politician (navigating the social climate both within your country and outside of it, keeping your people and colleagues happy, maintaining public approval, managing laws, dealing with potential attempts on your life, etc.) can be very stressful and can hurt those who are faint of heart or not prepared for the responsibility. Leaders have to make tough calls at the drop of a hat, and they have to be ready for it.
Has a lot to offer in terms of benefits to Briar Valley as a country. This could be in terms of resources, connections, and/or political savvy. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who acted as a diplomat for Briar Valley.
Vetting and formal approval from the senate. lmao good luck with that
Has to be able and willing to have a child. They at least need an heir to the throne to succeed Malleus. (However, knowing how exclusionary and conservative as heck the senators are, I doubt they would accept anything but a biological child 💀)
Preferably someone with powerful magic or is skilled at magic already so as to lessen the chance of “tainting” the bloodline with a weak mage or a non-mage.
I believe that Briar Valley would prefer someone with old fashioned values like them, not someone pushing for massive reform. They have a culture that is resistant to change and a history of fighting for resources with outsiders, so if Malleus’s new spouse tries to introduce a bunch of technology or open its borders to other countries (even if they have good intentions), the people + the senate may oppose them. His father is implied to be open-minded, but he at least understood that such change isn’t reasonable without time and effort dedicated to the endeavor.
All that being said 💦 I think that this topic is actually less about what Malleus as an individual wants and what his country, his people, and, yes, even his asshole senators, want. This is basically an arranged marriage situation so that their country can maintain power and relevance. It’s about the collective and what Malleus must do for their perceived security and prosperity.
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sxmmer-cherry · 22 days
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恐ろしい悪夢。
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we go to anyone's arms when we're happy; but the ones in whose arms we find home even in fear, are the ones we truly love.
⨀ OVERTURE — fear is a tantalizing enemy; even more so in a state of vulnerability. but when you trust them with your life, why would you not trust them with your fear? and who are they, slaves of their love, to deny you the right of calling out to them? question is, how do they react?
⨀ FEATURING — wanderer, ayato
⨀ AUTHOR'S NOTE — and of course, our classics. gn! reader; extreme fear of the dark in ayato's part.
☔—masterlist. —the author. —leave a note. —navigate.
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wanderer sleeps so very lightly, yet is never indicative of his lack of sleep—gentle ruffles of covers being turned and pushed are the only indicators of any trace of consciousness when he lies down. eyes fluttered shut in a state of rest, as he finally allows himself the vulnerability that his lover entrusts him with as they lay down next to him.
it's simply endearing when he turns again to face you, when he is certain you are asleep. it's nothing creepy, not that he would ever allow himself the liberty, it's simply a means to an end—if he does something that relaxes him, then he'll quickly fall asleep.
so he watches you sleep, as simple as that.
he admires your beauty so much; but when you wake up panting, with heavy breaths and wandering eyes, he sits up with a jolt, checking your pulse and turning the lights on.
'what happened?', he is quick to ask, ignoring all games and theatrics that he often masks his feelings behind; value is always determined by the situation at hand. just as gold is worthless to a thirsty man, his shyness is worthless to him in face of your restless state, as he urgently tries to calm you down.
he listens so quietly, unable to react or speak anything. he only rubs your head and pats your back gently as you explain everything, and he listens just as patiently. in his eyes, there is no way he would ever leave you for inazuma, but he has no heart to call you stupid as you speak in that frail voice, your words smaller than you were next to him.
he doesn't mention anything the next day. though that doesn't mean that the previous night has nothing to do with the way you wake up with a warm bath ready just for you and your favourite food for breakfast. he may be shy about his actions, rolling his eyes when you compliment him.
but he certainly isn't shy when he sits you down on the couch and patiently lists at least twenty reasons behind why leaving you for inazuma would be the stupidest thing he has ever done, all stupid shit he has done in his life considered; a list that he spent three hours collecting throughout the night as he watched over you with soft eyes, making sure nothing could interrupt your peace again.
ayato is accustomed to carelessness shown by others.
he knows how some people are simply ignorant and cannot do even a single duty properly, but he is infinitely surprised when the carelessness is shown, even once, by his only most trusted ratainer, thoma.
thoma is the only house-help he'll let anywhere near you, and all because he is not a house-help at all, but a brother in his eyes. ayato had explained thoma in emphasized detail about your fear of the dark the very day you stepped in the household, and made sure that all doors were shut and all the lamps were lighted in your room when you slept.
even he would make sure that none of the lights would go out throughout the night, waking up at least once to make sure at least some lamps were still burning before he came back to pull into his own arms again; full of tenderness as he caressed your hair and let sleep come back to him.
but once, when he is much too busy working through the night, it is then that the wind blows out every lamp in the room through the open windows; the darkness creeps up on you like a ghost with it's eternal shadow and looming presence as it drapes a veil of cold awareness on you and a gasp followed by a shout escapes your lips; echoing like a haunt, your voice repeats throughout the walls as ayato rushes to find you, barely supressing his anger as he tends to you with gentle hands.
ayato would rub your tears away and quickly light every lamp and order water for you as he rubbed your back, his chest a warm outlet for your tears and blabbering as you held him tightly, telling him to sleep next to you. he wouldn't even budge as he held you, touch soft as he slowly pat your back and calmed you down with his soft voice, making sure you fall asleep deeply enough this time.
the next day as you're passing by the lawn, ayaka and ayato's strict voices reach your ears; sorry though you feel for a dear friend, you are careful not to interfere when the kamisatos are upset.
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dannyboy-writes · 3 months
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Running away
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After fleeing the Fire Nation's land you found yourself in a small fishing village. Filled with flowers in spring and sunlight in the summer, with piles of leaves in autumn and a tad of snow in winter. Just a hint of whiteness. 
The last thing you would've expected from your travels was to end up here, having somewhat of a normal life, filled with joy. The only thing you would've changed was your last conversation with a certain someone. 
“You used to have long hair,” a familiar but distant voice said, as you turned around. 
"You used to be shorter," you said, face as serious as you could.
With a still straight face she said, "I could have you executed for that."
"Only if you can catch me," you finally broke a smile.
"True," Azula said, smiling as well. 
"What brings you to this lovely and remote area of the world," you asked, pulling some things off the table.
"I was searching for someone. They owe me a goodbye," she said playfully.
You put some water in a kettle, "I believe they said goodbye already."
"Did they?"
"I gave you a letter, it's more than I did to most," you defended. 
"You didn't give me a letter." 
"Well, I hid it in your room. You found it, you can't lie to me Azula," you laughed. 
She tried to maintain a serious face but dropped it soon as well, "I did find it." 
"I couldn't exactly leave it laying around, not with everything that was happening."
"I understand," she nodded. "I just wish you had given it to me." 
"I thought of it, but it was late. I had to ninja my way for it, I'm very proud of that," you said.
"Because of the guards?" 
"Yeah, that and the fact that everyone had my face in a reward poster…" 
She clasped her hands together and nodded. 
"Why are you still standing, Zula?" You said bringing a kettle of tea to the table and sitting down. "Get comfortable, do you want anything else?"
"No, it's fine," she said, shifting in her spot. 
"Is everything okay?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be," she asked in a paranoid tone.
"No reason," you said as she sat down. "Did you really come all this way just to get a goodbye?"
"Don't be silly, y/n. It's on the way in my travels," she lied. 
It had been too long since she last saw you, and the way your voice strained in your throat took her off balance. Perhaps this was how you'd always spoken, but she didn't think so. Maybe she had just grown too paranoid.
"Where are you going?" You asked. 
"Oh, let's not speak of that. How are you?" 
The question rocked you off your place, but you managed not to show it. 
"Well, I'm doing well. There's not much to do around here but fishing, so I do that, and sell that as well. I'm growing this tree in the back, it used to have a torn branch and it was falling off, but now it's looking good," you explained. "Sorry, you're probably bored by this." You said, knowing Azula wasn't one to be interested in the common occurrences of life.
"No, continue," she dismissed. And as you raised your eyebrow asked, "Please." 
"Well, there is also a small dragon-moose that comes around every now and then, searching for food. I tend to leave a pot of fresh water and some leftovers for him." You paused to sip on your tea, "Other than that it's all pretty calm. There's mostly old people here, so no one asks many questions. They usually tell stories to me, not the other way around, which is good." 
It was good, Azula thought. If you were still in hiding, even if you weren't in Fire Nation soil, it was good for people not to ask many questions. 
"How do you know it's the same dragon-moose?" She found herself asking, much to her own surprise.
You were taken a bit aback by the question but answered anyways. "Oh, he has a little white spot in between the eyes. Plus he always waits for me to sit down before he eats the food. I don't know why, really."
She smiled, again to her surprise. How simple your life was, and how content with it you sounded. All you did was fish, feed animals and listen to old people's stories, and yet you looked like the happiest person in the world. 
“It sounds wonderful,” she simply replied.
“Yeah… You sure you're fine?" You asked, concerned. It had been some time since you last saw her, but she didn't use to ask this many questions. 
“You have nothing to worry about, y/n. I promise," she nodded.
"Okay… Do you plan on staying?" 
"Would you like me to stay?" 
"I'm asking so I know how much food I should make, you don't have to stay."
"If you want me to stay I'll stay," she stated.
You blinked in surprise, not expecting that. "Uh, yeah, I would love that," you smiled. "That would be great." 
She nodded once again, this time with a smile plastered on her face. She thought about staying there, in your little house by the sea. 
Things would be so easy if she just had one more chance with you.
But she had Zuko and his friends on her heels, and it was better to leave you out of Fire Nation problems. One last dinner with you, that was all she needed.
When you woke up next morning with the house silent you knew she was gone, and when you walked into the kitchen and saw the note you hoped she was safe.
A little ‘thank you’ was all you had, and it was all you’d need.
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jqhotchner · 4 months
Text
quest
seven
warning: mentions of sexual relationships
when you parked your car at the coffee shop emily told you to meet aaron your heart pounded. you had no idea what was coming. all you knew was he was upset.
he had every right to be. you kept his kids from him. you didn’t even let him explain what emily saw. come to think of it, you didn’t even let emily explain.
as soon as you heard her utter the words ‘i saw hotch and haley in his office’ you ended the call. you couldn’t hear anymore. but knowing what you do now, you felt you deserved everything coming to you.
spotting aaron sitting at a table you take a deep breath and head inside. you sit right across from him and give him a small smile.
aaron hands you a cup. “decaf still, right?”
you hum as you take a sip. “thank you.”
the two of you sat in silence for a minute. it felt longer though. you missed him. everything about aaron you missed. you missed the way he smelled, his beautiful smile, the way he made you laugh, the way he listened. you missed his touch.
his touch,
god did you miss the way aaron touched you. rather it would be as simple as holding your hand or the way he would hold you when you fucked.
aaron could be a gentle lover. he would whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he made love to you. tell you how beautiful you were and how good you were to him.
but he was also rough! if he got a little jealous or you two argued about something so minor, he’d fuck you like you meant absolutely nothing to him! and you loved it.
you tried not to think too much about it, but you noticed he has been working out. his muscles were bulging more than before.
you also noticed he still wore his wedding band. something you felt a sense of pride in. despite being divorced he still showed everyone he was taken. even if it weren’t true.
you did same. you loved aaron. knowing you could never move on from the man that gave you the best years of your life and the three, four babies you adored! nothing would ever change that. if wearing the ring meant you would never be with anyone else again, you were okay with that.
“should we start?”
you didn’t know what to say. just humming as he cleared his throat.
“i made a promise to you i would love you unconditionally. i married you because i meant every single word. and i would never intentionally hurt the woman i love. i broke that vow by have an emotional affair with my ex wife. i hugged her for too long, held her hand, kissed her cheek, even cuddled her from time to time. but i never went as far as sleeping with her. and i wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted to divorce me after knowing the truth. instead you left. part of me kinda happy you did. foyet was after me and my family. it’s one of the reasons why haley and i reconnected. i needed him to see he could never break this family up. fortunately he didn’t know about you,”
“what do you mean?”
“i made sure the team kept you hidden from the moment we met. i didn’t need anyone to know i had remarried. if i could go back i would have done the same with haley.”
you wanted to hold his hand. you knew he was still grieving. haley was his first everything. completely losing her destroyed him. on top of losing you all in the span of a few months apart. he went through hell for the longest.
“after foyet died i tried finding you. i even tried to get penelope to trace you. she declined. i was very pissed i almost fired her. but she wanted to protect you. i couldn’t be mad at that,”
“aaron, im sorry. i—i thought with me out of the picture you’d be better off. i wanted you to be happy. i knew it would have been a hard decision if i stayed. i didn’t want you to choose me because i was pregnant. i wanted you to choose me because you loved me.”
“they’re my kids too yn! mine! you left knowing this. knowing that you were carrying our babies. i didn’t get to be there for them. i didn’t get to hold you hand while you gave birth, wake up all hours of the morning to feed them or change them, watch them start to crawl, watch them walk for the first time, i miss two birthdays yn!! two. you made that decision for me. you made the decision to leave and take our children with you. i—knowing this, finding this out from jj, i didn’t know how to feel.”
you turned your head guilty. you couldn’t look him in the eyes. you knew as soon as you did the tears would just come pouring out.
the two of you stayed silent for awhile. aaron clears his throat before speaking.
“i promised jack i would bring you home. please don’t break his heart again.” aaron states. he leaves money on the table before leaving you alone with your thoughts.
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when you arrived at your sister house you sigh. all you wanted to do was hug your babies. you missed them and needed a little comfort right now.
the moment you saw them playing with their cousins you smiled. they were the cutest. you always wanted them to know their older cousins.
“mamma!” izzy was the first to spot you. she waddles her way towards you.
“izzy!” you copied her.
“miss mamma.” she smiles at you.
“miss you too baby. you and your siblings.”
“up, mummy!” aurora raises her arms.
you gently pick her up. you missed when you use to be able to carry all three of them at the same time. now they were bigger and a lot heavier. you could only pick them up in twos.
you kiss aurora’s cheek as you son walks over to you. he pulls on your shirt. you bend down to his level and set your other two babies down.
“hows my shy boy?”
he shrugs his shoulders. you frown. you really wished he was a little more outgoing. but you couldn’t blame him. you were just as shy growing up. you still are.
you kiss theo’s cheek gently. “mama missed all three of her babies.” you hug your kids tightly. not too tight to smoosh them. but enough.
“mama! you being silly.” isabella laughs.
“oh, am i?!” you start to tickle them. she giggles uncontrollably. you laugh before kissing them on the forehead.
“why don’t you go play with your cousins while i talk to your aunt, okay?”
your three mini me’s walk over to their cousins as you walk towards your sister.
“so, how’d you go?”
you sigh. “as good as it could. he wants me to move back home.”
“you have a life here though. he can’t expect you to pack your bags and move three two year olds!”
“i don’t know abby. i did take two years away from him and the triplets. plus i have a son back home who misses me.”
“well are you two gonna at least work your shit out? because if not then what?”
you shrug. “i gotta at least try, yeah? you didn’t see abby! we both still have our wedding bands on. legally we’re divorced but mentally and emotionally we’re still married. i have to fight for my marriage.”
“i understand little sister. i just worry. with everything that just happened i don’t want you to spiral. plus, i just got you back. i don’t want you to leave.” abigale pouts.
“i know. but ill be back to visit!”
“promise?”
“swear it.”
you two continue to talk. catching up on everything you missed before you headed out to figure out your move.
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aaron had came by the next morning to help you pack and to meet the kids for the first time. he was nervous and excited all in one.
he knew what it was like to raise one child for nine years. now he was transitioning from one to four. he still couldn’t believe it.
he was a father of four. four beautiful kids who he adored. he already loved his babies. he couldn’t wait to raise them with you. and hopefully work your shit out to have more in the future.
when he arrived you weren’t shocked at all he had went shopping. he spoiled jack so much you just knew he’d spoil your other three.
“hi.”
“hey. come in! the kids are in their pen.” you opened the door wider to allow him inside. aaron smiles as he walks to the living room.
he got a bit of a glimpse of them the other day. seeing them face to face like this made him gasped. all three, beautiful as ever. you two made the cutest little babies.
“izzy, theo, roe! id like you to meet someone.” the three of them look up at their mom and sees a tall man. they had no idea who he was but he looked friendly.
“who’s that mamma?” izzy was the first to ask.
“remember how i told you daddy was off being a super hero and catching the bad guys? how he’d be back to take us home? well, he’s back. and he’s right there.”
“papa?” theo questioned.
aaron bends down. “that’s right! im your dad little buddy.”
“daddy!” izzy walked over to aaron and hugs him. aaron chuckled as he holds his daughter.
“love daddy.” aurora states.
aaron wanted to shed tears in that moment. but he held himself together and hugged all three of his kids as they walk over to him.
“goin home to brudder?” theodore asked.
“yeah. going home to brother.”
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slow burn but not too slow because i don’t have the time for the shit! i want them together!!!!!
but how did you guys like this part? i think it’s cute! had to put the babies in there. they’re adorable
peep aaron already planning to have more kids with the reader!!
if you wanna be added or unadded to the taglist please let me know
taglist:
@ivebeenthearchersstuff @shergoretzxx @slut4ethan @rosiehale23 @madesavage05 @whotfskai
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azullumi · 1 year
Note
i don't know if this counts as a request or not but i just want to know how do you think thoma, ayato, and tighnari say "i love you" to their s/o without actually saying it? it could be about love languages or anything, you're free to do what you want! i'm just really curious on what you think :) also, i love your writing so so much im in love with it <3
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summary — there are many ways to say "i love you" and he has his own ways of saying it.
characters — ayato, tighnari, and thoma (w/ gender neutral reader)
tags — fluff, different love languages; headcanons
word count — 1116
a/n — hooray to the very first request that i have done! please don't hesitate in sending me more requests because ideas are not unlimited inside my head. anyways i hope this was what you wanted anon! ^^ i tried to do the best that i can in executing this idea because god it's hella cute
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“What do you want? I'll get it for you.” — Kamisato Ayato
Gift-giving is definitely his love language. He’s the type of man to always spoil you with gifts, ranging from simple to extravagant ones. Even if you have never asked for those things, he always will and I mean what I mean with always when he has a gift for you daily. It can be a bouquet of flowers from another land or just your favorite ones or it can also be an accessory customized only for you. Nevertheless, he always has something to give you whether small or big.
If you ask him for something, he’ll immediately get it for you. Just mention it and you’ll have it at once on the foot of your doorstep. No cans, no ifs, no buts, it’s always a will. He will always find a way to get it even if it’s at the end of the world as long as it will make you happy.
You told him once how you would like to have the heart of a rainbow, an item that doesn’t exist in the continent of Teyvat nor in other lands and you only made up on the spot to see how he would react. But he… He fell into a deep thought and went: “Alright, however, it might take me a long time as that's the first time I have heard of that.” You couldn’t help but panic and explain that it was just a joke and the item actually doesn’t exist.
He remembers everything about you, especially what you like even if you only have mentioned it once in all of your conversations. You’ll suddenly find him giving you something, an item that you said you would like to have from a conversation that happened 4 months ago, and would apologize for only attaining it just now. It just renders you speechless whenever he does that.
Giving you all that you want is just one of the ways he shows his love for you. He has different means of showering you with affection but gift-giving just tops everything. It’s also one way to tell you that he is willing to do anything and give you anything, anything to make you stay, anything to keep you happy.
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“You mean so much more to me than you think.” — Tighnari
This statement was an explanation for his actions that he has done and the words he has said. Tighnari might have never explicitly said those three meaningful words in a relationship but he finds ways to say it to you in different forms and would show it through his actions also. After all, saying “I love you” without having any form of base just feels so empty for him like promises that aren’t going to be kept. He prefers proving himself through a variety of words and acts.
He doesn’t mind anything as long as it’s you. He doesn’t mind teaching you everything that he knows as a Forest Ranger as long as it's you. He doesn’t mind accompanying you every time you have the urge to go deeper within the forest—he reasons that it is part of his task and he’s also there to look for some things but honestly, he just wants to be there with you. He also sometimes can’t help but overthink that something might happen to you once you go in alone because what if you encounter a dangerous situation and he’s not there. He just wouldn’t be able to rest easily. If ever he wouldn’t be able to accompany you, he’ll send Collei out with you.
He doesn’t mind doing anything as long as it’s for you. However, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have any boundaries that he has set and as long as you respect and understand it, everything is fine. He doesn’t mind having his ears touched as long as it's you though, just ask for permission.
As such, neglect happens to himself especially at times of danger just to keep you safe and away from harm. He reasons that he is used to those things because of his work but seeing that look of worry and sadness on your face made him swear to not do it again.
He worries that you think that he always focuses on his job and would abandon you because of it so he tries his best to show you that you hold so much meaning to him and the thought of losing you has already made him overwhelmed with fear. 
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“I always have time for you.” — Thoma
Thoma and his everlasting loyalty and consistency with his actions and words. Despite his busy schedule with his constant running around and assistance, he would always find ways to spend time with you. Even if his day is rough and he’s exhausted, he always finds his way to you and your arms. It just feels like he has an empty slot on his schedule saved just for you. 
One minute, you’ll find him all around Ritou, talking to the shopkeepers and helping them with any issues that they are experiencing, then the next, he’s having a walk with you on your side while holding your hands as he tells you about what he has learned from that day, all the stories and gossips that he got from the citizens that he has helped and gotten close with.
Of course, on his day-offs and breaks, he will always have it dedicated to you. He’ll take you out on his day-offs on a date that he has planned for a long time or he will seek you out on his breaks and invite you to lunch with him. He loves having picnics with you outside while you two are watching the scenery as the sun sets and when he’s free by the evening, you two would often have dinner together and would go on a walk to your favorite spot to watch the stars.
When he’s really exhausted, however, plans are canceled— if there is one—and you two would instead spend your time holding one another in each other’s arms while being lulled to chase after the much-needed rest. Those moments of peace and tranquility are greatly appreciated and are meant to be cherished.
Although, it doesn’t mean that he’s being pressured to always have some time on his day saved just for you. Being a housekeeper of the Kamisato Clan and a well-known “fixer” in Inazuma sounds like a really tough job so you do understand that there are times wherein he gets really busy and you two can’t spend time with one another. You simply love the fact that he always has time for you despite everything.
— navigation | masterlist
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Text
One more tomorrow, with you.
Hi. Sorry if this isn't good, it's 4 in the morning.
Warning(s): None really. This isn't yandere, and there's not really any other content I feel needs a warning. It is a bit angsty though.
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Isn't it fun?
Being friends with one of the scariest people in the school had its benefits. Nobody dared mess with you, because they knew what he would do to them.
Why is Floyd so nice to you? You'd never know.
Especially not with how everything turned out.
"(Y/N)!" Some faceless classmate called your name. "I was wondering if I could practice a spell on you?"
"Oh... sure, I guess." You were unsure. You didn't want this, but you couldn't say no for some reason. Perhaps it was fate?
"Thanks. It's nothing too bad, don't worry. It's just a very simple, and very weak, time travel spell." Your classmate explained. "It'll send you one minute into the future. You'll be a bit disoriented, but nothing too bad will happen."
One minute...
A lot can happen in only one minute.
"...alright, do it."
You didn't want to agree. You felt like something was going to go wrong... but, you couldn't stop yourself from agreeing.
Your classmate pointed their magic pen at you... but just at that moment-
"Heyyyyy, what's going on here~?" A very familiar voice chimed in, as a certain someone placed his hands on your shoulders. "You threatening my little cleaner shrimp here??"
"Ah, no, don't worry, Floyd." You told him. "It's nothing major, he's just gonna test out a spell on me."
"Mmmmhh... well, it's probably nothin' good, knowing how people like to treat you... whatever you do to 'em, you do to me, alright?" Floyd asked, trying to threaten your classmate.
Floyd's threat probably worked... which could have been why your classmate messed up so severely.
They were worried about messing up. Worrying about messing up leads to concentrating on the spell even more, perhaps accidentally making it more powerful...
The spell was only supposed to send you one minute in the future, and yet...
When the light cleared...
Nothing was there anymore.
You and Floyd were met with a wasteland.
Crumbly old rocks were all around... perhaps the ruins of what was once NRC.
"...where the hell are we-?"
You remember Floyd was confused. You were too, obviously, you were only meant to find yourself one minute in the future, not... whenever you are now.
You were both panicked and confused, of course... everything (and presumably everyone) you ever knew was just... gone.
...
Floyd helped you through it.
Oh, Floyd... he either didn't care at all, or was simply very good at hiding his emotions.
On the incredibly rare occasion that he did open up to you... you were there for him, like he was for you. Or at least, you'd like to think you were.
It's a strange thing, knowing you'll be the last person to ever do something.
It's like when you throw a rock into the ocean. You don't think about it for the most part... but then, every now and again, you'll look at that rock you're about to throw... and you'll realize you're probably the last human who will ever see that rock. But then, you throw it anyways... because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that you're the last person to walk on this world.
You made footsteps in the sand with him as you two walked through the endless wasteland, through a strange field of gigantic stone spikes...
As you walked through this field... through this wasteland... it was hard to stay alive.
There wasn't any food around, and there wasn't any water...
Floyd would one day revert and suffocate, and you would one day starve.
There wasn't anything the two of you could do about it... but that was okay. You were at peace with it.
...
Was he?
Was Floyd at peace with it?
You never actually asked him.
Would anything have changed... if you were there for him, just as he was there for you?
Could something have changed?
...probably not.
On that final day, as you succumbed to your starvation, that was the only thing you could properly think about.
Your regrets.
Nothing else, just regrets.
Then, you woke up.
You woke up in a hospital bed.
And that was when you realized you weren't hungry, it didn't hurt to breathe, you weren't subjected to the relentless heat and cold.
None of that ever happened.
None of that ever existed.
...
Floyd never existed.
But if that's true, why do you still feel such regret for not being there for him as he was for you?
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kopilot-pop · 4 months
Text
[For you are loved.]
- New Jeans x Ex-IZ*ONE! Reader
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Request: You can write New jeans(separate) x Ex-izonereader Who is exhausted because he takes so much criticism (Like Wonyoung, only worse because she suffers🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😓😓😦)and just goes to them and lays on top of them, but oh..they fall asleep..just cute, Your works are too cute!!!!💗💗💗🐰🐰🐰😍😍
Warning(s): Cursing, self-hatred, cyber bullying, etc.
A/N: This is fluffy in the end so don’t be scared to read it because of the warnings. Love y’all, have fun!
———————————————————————
“I just don’t get why you’re with them.”
You froze.
You’re currently at a sign event, meeting hundreds of Bunnies, and having a chance to talk to them.
Everything went smoothly. You smiled at fans, they screamed, you said hi, they screamed, and when you posed for pictures you could hear clicks louder than the ones you heard on a red carpet.
Maybe you should’ve expected not everything could be that perfect.
A certain fan - although it’s clear she has a favorite - made you anxious the moment she sat down in front of you. You were last in the line, so you were able to watch the others interact with her. She brought small wrapped gifts for all your members, but when she arrived at your table, it was clear she was empty handed.
Not even a piece of paper for you to sign at a fucking sign event.
“I… I’m sorry?”
“You heard me.” She crosses her legs, folding up her arms on her chest. “I don’t understand why Ador even considered you to join.”
Realizing what’s happening, you quickly glance at the manager - unfortunately he’s busy handling an overexcited fan with Dani.
“I..”
“I don’t want your stupid signature, it’s the same lazy one you had with IZ*ONE.”
Oh.
“You should’ve just stayed alone and pathetic after the disbandment rather then ruining a perfect group.”
Wow.
“You’re an eye sore - do you even know that? A fucking rat standing next to the goddesses. Every day I pray that you get caught in a stupid scandal and leave like th-”
“Excuse me. Your time is over.”
The ‘fan’ quickly glares at the manager, and hurriedly leaves, stomping purposefully. He gently puts a hand on your shoulder.
“Sorry I came too late. You can stay out for the rest if you’d like-”
“It’s okay! I can’t keep my fans waiting. Thank you though.” The fake smile clearly doesn’t ease up your manager’s mind, but he knows you well, and decided to leave you back to work with a simple pat.
On your way home you started to read the comments about the interaction.
The same girl decided to brag about her interaction on Twitter. You recognized her username, having seen her and several other fans that loved New Jeans, but hated you.
From editing songs and group photos to exclude you, apparently they decided to finally face you and say the same things that they posted on the internet more directly.
Her post gained attraction -and even though the replies were filled with Bunnies protecting you and explaining how the poster went too far - several replies were filled with hate towards you.
How untalented you are.
How much they hate your voice.
How you didn’t deserve to be with them.
And even a very detailed; ‘100 reasons why Y/n should leave NJ’.
“Number 23, her personality is way too bitchy...” You accidentally mumble out, causing Hyein to snap her head towards you.
“What in the world are you reading unnie?!”
The commotion caused all the girls to look back at the two of you, watching as Hyein snatches your phone out of your grip.
She takes a few seconds to scroll through the thread, as her face becomes more and more sour.
“H-Hyein! Give it back-!”
The younger girl furiously taps on your phone and shuts it off before handing it to you.
“Wha- what did you do?”
“I reported them. Don’t worry about it unnie.”
“But-”
“What the hell are you guys up to?”
Minji, finally awoken from her nap, looks at the two of you with furrowed eyebrows.
“Some asshole was saying shit about Y/n unnie.”
“Woah! Language!”
“My reaction is nothing compared to what Hanni unnie would say if she saw it.”
“Why are you dragging me into this?!”
Minji, now more concerned by the maknae’s reactions, stared at you.
“EVERYONE I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE.”
Haerin’s (rare) loud voice clears the van.
“We’ll talk when we get home.”
You quickly ran towards your bedroom, locking the door to avoid any contact. You shove your face into the bed letting out a loud groan.
‘I’m used to this. You’re used to this Y/n. This happened 4 years ago, it shouldn’t be that surprising for it to happen again...’
It was the same hate you received ever since you even joined Produce. It always happened, it always existed.
So why does it hurt so much this time?
Was it the comparing? Was it the comment about your skill? Maybe it was the way your members caught your brooding this time.
God, you hope they don’t know about the other times.
The nights you spent awake, wasting your mind reading disgusting comments from older videos. The holidays you spent crying alone at the dorm as you read yet another article about how you ‘mocked someone’. The hours you spent at the company, running your bones and muscles until you felt like ‘you deserved to be with them’.
You’re the most experienced one out of the whole group. You know how common negative comments are.
But it hurts so much more when you’re with the girls.
“Unnie?”
A knock causes you to shoot up from your crying session.
“Y-… Yup?! Yeah??”
You stumble towards the door, but before you could open the door, the full mirror next to your closet made you hesitate.
You teary face and clearly red eyes stopped you from opening the door.
“Um.. do you need something Dani?”
“Oh, yeah. The six of us are gonna have a movie night! Don’t you remember..?”
Shit. You forgot.
“I.. I’m sorry Dani. I think I have a cold. Don’t want you guys catching i-”
“A COLD?! Are you okay unnie!!? Do you need anything!?” Dani’s panic made you groan at your mistake.
After minutes of convincing her to join the others, you finally hear her shuffle away from the other side of the door.
You don’t wanna be seen like this. You’re the tough senior. You’re not the oldest, but the most experienced.
You deal with this alone. Not with others.
Why waste their energy anyways?
It’s 3 a.m. when you wake up on the floor.
Your face is still wet from the tears. You ears rang uncomfortably and the mirror still shows a very puffy, tired version of you.
Wiping your face with your sleeves, you quietly make your way to the kitchen - praying that the girls finished their movie night, and all went to bed.
You quietly creak open the door and tiptoe towards the kitchen. But before you could get there, something catches your eye.
The TV screen still plays an old comedy movie - shining a bright light towards the pile in front of the couch.
The air mattress you bought a few weeks ago was on the floor and the girls were all lying on top of it. That’s what you expected, so it wasn’t a surprise.
The empty pillow between Minji and Hanni was the surprising part.
The six of you always had an order you guys laid in.
And you always slept between Minji and Hanni.
You froze and stared at the cold pillow. The sore throat you felt disappeared, replaced by a sudden warmth in your chest. The tears didn’t feel as heavy as they did when you stood besides the mirror.
Like a magnet, you unconsciously gravitated towards the small space. You slowly laid down, staring up into the dark ceiling as the ringing in your ears turned into soft snores all around you.
You could finally hear the laugh tracks coming from the TV, the whirring of the fridge, and the shuffling of sheets.
It wasn’t loud, but enough to calm your mind.
You’re here. You’re in their arms. You’re not a target on the internet, you’re not a ghost from a different group, and you’re certainly not some bitchy asshole as the world makes you out to be.
You’re a New Jeans member.
You’re an adored idol.
And you’re certainly a loved group mate.
Hanni’s unconscious gentle hold on your arm reminds you of that, once again.
———————————————————————
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agronzky · 8 months
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⠀⠀⠀𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐀 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐏.
⠀⠀⠀Anyone who knows me or has rp with me knows how much I love building ambiguous — or grey, if you prefer — characters or villains. The drama, the chaos, the complex plot… It all makes everything more interesting, especially once you get bored of characters who are exclusively nice, naive and suchlike. Even so, it's a construction that needs to take several factors into account and be very delicately written so it doesn't become a trigger rather than a character.
⠀⠀⠀For this reason, below I've provided some tips on how to create villainous characters for rp, taking into account various traits, setting and also demystifying the fact that not every villain is a soulless monster. Anyway, on to the guide.
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Deep and personal motivations.
⠀⠀⠀Convincing villains usually have compelling and understandable motivations, even if their actions are highly questionable. It's the premise of them being right in their quest, but using the wrong means to achieve it and ultimately losing their reason. This brings a sense of humanity and it's even possible to feel connected to what led this person to become a villain. You can truly see how they lost the way.
⠀⠀⠀Another point is the fact that not everyone wants to conquer the world, nor do they have the ambition to have a lot of money or power. Think of plots about revenge, twisted love, the quest for justice or fear. Generally, a character's deepest motivations give them more determination to fulfill their goals because it comes from something much more internal and traumatic. Give them a proper reason and make them lose the way, this is gonna make everything feel real, convincing and interesting to developed.
Moral complexity.
⠀⠀⠀The simple truth is the days of people liking completely cartoonish characters are long gone, and nowadays many people don't like those who are evil simply for the sake of being evil. This is because it's too out of touch with reality. Obviously there are people who are like that in real life, but the vast majority is more complex than this. Humans, in the end, are very complicated and, probably, will never truly understand why we are the way we are.
⠀⠀⠀To get away of this cliché and cartoonish form when creating your character, try to develop moral nuances and internal dilemmas which can explain their actions. Put a small fragment of morality in the character, make them question themselves a few times as to whether they're on the right path… Remember yin yang: there's a little tiny good inside the evil. This tip can be used for any character, when you think about it, but it's very important for those who want to create villains.
Human traits, personality and vulnerabilities.
⠀⠀⠀Like any human being, provide your character with traits unmistakably human, such as fears, insecurities or personal relationships that will impact them, to make them more realistic. Just because someone is doing something morally wrong doesn't mean they've lost all touch with their humanity, especially since not every villain is a psychopath who has no empathy for anyone. It's always very interesting when a character believes they're doing what's right or good for someone else, and this is their motivation.��
⠀⠀⠀Also bring some weaknesses to the character, whether physical, emotional or psychological. This provides room for development and also ways for other characters to access them in a more specific way, either to get to know them better or to retaliate against them at some point.
⠀⠀⠀You know that line "Do you like my personality? I created it especially for you!"? Well, consider how the character behaves and bring in more layers when making the personality. Take into account how they behave in different situations and with different people.
Charisma and a magnetic nature.
⠀⠀⠀The fact is that bad guys aren't unbearable one hundred per cent of the time, they need to know how to live in society and captivate people. So define unique and appealing traits for the character, whether they're genuine or merely a façade. It's always interesting when, within the plot, most people don't know about the evil or wrong side of a character because it gives them more room for development. Maybe make them ashamed of what they're doing and try to hide it as best they can. And just think about real life: do we truly know the people around us?
Connection with other characters.
⠀⠀⠀Nobody lives completely alone since we're in a society and this makes us having connections, for more simple they can be. Thinking about that, create connections with other characters to bring more motivation and drama to your muse, such as an old rivalry, a complicated personal relationship or a surprising connection which generates tension. You can also create connections that actually bring their good side to light, you know? It's also always good to add a certain complexity, to have troubled moments, wounds that haven't healed fully, secrets being revelead, etc.
Questions for creating villains.
What are the character's main motivations?
What is the character's origin story? What led them to become what they are today?
What are the past traumas or events that have shaped their worldview?
How does the character justify their actions morally? Does they believe they are doing the right thing?
What are their weaknesses and vulnerabilities?
How does the character present themselves to the world? Are they masked, manipulative or showy?
What do they want to achieve through their actions?
What are their emotional reactions to obstacles and challenges?
How do they justify their actions to themselves? Is there any sense of internal validation?
How do they relate to the authorities or the law?
How do they see themselves? Do they see themselves as the hero of their own story?
How do they react when their plans fail?
What do they feel when faced with the possibility of redemption or change?
Other small (and important) advice!
Corruption arcs are also super interesting, leading a good character to become bad over time and through traumatic situations. Redemption arcs are also sensational. The point is: nobody was born a villain and nobody has to die a villain.
Leave clues indicating your character before fully revealing your motivations. Also try to leave some motivations completely secret, using them when the plot calls for a surprise. In the best "surprise, bitch!" style.
Think about how environment and culture can influence beliefs and actions.
A villain doesn't have to be a psychopath or murderer. There are arcs of revenge and corruption which can be created without going to such extremes.
It's obvious, but always respect other players and the limits they impose. As I said, a villain isn't always doing evil and being a complete asshole, so make sure you know what kind of approach the other person will prefer.
Always be careful when approaching topics which are triggers and avoid them as much as possible. As I said, it's not necessary to go down this route, but if you do, always keep a firm grounding when writing, because triggers are complex real-life situations that always need to be handled delicately.
The end, for now.
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( Be with Morgana, my good girl gone bad ♡ )
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