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sugarlywhispers · 10 months

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Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader (fem) x Midoriya Izuku.

A/N: hello there! just a few notes; dont feel afraid of the yandere tag/warning, it's not going to be that bad, i simply put it just to be safe because of the villains😉 i dont have this completely written, i'll go with the flow like i always do✌🏼, so if someone has feedback or ideas, you're more than welcome to talk to me!🤍 also, idk how long this gonna be, but it'll have several chapters. so get your snacks, and enjoy the ride~😉

WARNINGS: TRIO RELATIONSHIP, adult sexual content, angst and fluff, penetrative sex, oral sex, unprotected sex (USE GLOBOS, GUYS, preferably, pink ones lol😉), yandere themes –toxic/possessive behavior, mention of blood and violence, swearing lots of it thanks to bakugou lol

Summary: After several disasters that happened around the country, the government had no other choice but to enact a new law that would mostly shock every single person, including heroes.

"Please, please…Order in the room! I know," he says to someone that it's asking something but it's mostly impossible to actually understand for viewers like you who are not–were not present at the conference. "But, please, believe me when I say we have exhausted every possibility there is for this. This law was our very last resource."

By the tired tone in this man's voice and expression, you believe him. And you hate that you do, because that means you have no other choice. No one does.

Chapter One: The Law.

It doesn't matter how many times you rewind the whole conference from the start on your TV, the words are the same. The words mean the same.

"Thank you everyone for being here today," the same old man you have already watched–this was the third time–says, also greeting other people around he could recognize in the big crowd of journalists, governors, some famous people like idols, show directors, heroes, yada yada. The old man takes a deep breath, barely able to hide it in front of all the mics put there for him, "Due to recent misfortunes happening in our country, we can no longer postpone what we once thought could happen thanks to the society we live in today. The population has gone down in numbers, mortality rates spiking down lower than what we could ever hoped for. This law, that I'm about to present now to you, is the only way several professionals and analysts, in addition to Quirks used for this matter, could find to prevent the population from reaching the bottom–which can be translated as, from entirely disappearing."

No sugarcoat. That is something you do appreciate from this mess. You have always preferred the blunt, harsh reality of things than some kind words that were mostly used to not tell the truth.

"As from today onwards, a new law is going to take effect in our society, if not the entirety of the world. For now, we are the first country to approve this law, and we encourage others to. This law stipulates that one male, whether they are civilian or professional hero on duty, must marry and procreate with a female at least two new lives for the sake of humankind." The room explodes in protests, questions being yelled at the governor representative, and even talking between each other. "Please, please…Order in the room! I know," he says to someone that it's asking something but it's mostly impossible to actually understand for viewers like you who are not–were not present at the conference. "But, please, believe me when I say we have exhausted every possibility there is for this. This law was our very last resource."

By the tired tone in this man's voice and expression, you believe him. And you hate that you do, because that means you have no other choice. No one does.

The governor starts to speak again as the room settles a bit, "Each citizen will have to get through several medical tests that will help our specially prepared team to match them to perfection for this purpose. This stance will be called The Pairing. After this is carried through, each Pairing will have from two weeks to a month to finally sign a contract that validates the union between each part and compromises them for the purpose they had been Paired for."

There's chaos again in the room, and it doesn't settle until a woman stands from her seat and asks, "You said our population is currently going through a critical disbalance, right?" The governor nods admitting and signaling with his hand for her to proceed with her question. "Whether that means there are more females or males, how do you and your team plan to resolve the odd number that will complicate the Pairing of couples?"

Oh, good question!, you think again, enjoying way too much how she referred to that 'team' the governor kept talking about with so much sarcasm.

"The law establishes an exception to the Pairing of two. If one female is compatible with more than one male, or vice versa, there will be a more exhausting analysis to determine if she will be Paired with both of them."

"If that's the case, then how many children must they procreate?"

"The law does not change, there has to be two children for each couple."

Everything is chaos again and you sigh as you turn your TV off, same time that your phone vibrates over the little coffee table in front of your couch, where you sit with your legs pulled towards your chest. You pick it, the name Tora shining on the screen.

You don't get to properly set it over your ear that you hear her scream, "A FUCKING MARRIAGE LAW!" Her ear riping shout makes you wince, "Do you fucking know what this means, Y/N!?" Her excitement is not reciprocated.

"Goodbye my beloved freedom?" You answer groomly.

You hear her exasperated tsk, "No, silly! This means we could get paired with actual Pro Heroes!"

Oh, yes, Tora's obsession with Pro Heroes. An explosive blond one that is mean to everyone, a green haired one that is considered the Symbol of Peace of this generation, a red head one that looks more like a villain –in your opinion– and a white and red haired one that is colder than ice. And many more. How could you forget that?

You roll your eyes. The only reason you know about those is because of her, Kira and all the stories the kids in your class like to tell you about their favorite heroes.

"I think all of this is ridiculous. They are using us, women, just to procreate."

"Men too, girl. Don't forget that without the fish, there's no egg…" Tora adds, and even though the saying does not go like that, you understand what she means, so you don't even try to correct her, you simply agree. However, the fact that in this current population are more males than females, speaks volumes about the kind of governors that ruled society.

"I know it's both, it's just…"

"You're angry, angry, I know you…" She says, and it warms your heart a bit.

Tora has been your best friend since the first day you walked through the college campus and collided with her. Yes, collided, because she was using her roller skates to get to her room through the crowded place the first time you met. She hadn’t seen you opening the door to the room, trying to avoid precisely not crashing into anyone, but failed with you. You didn’t even have time to react properly before you felt the coalition and both of you fell inside your room, the pair of boxes filled with each other's belongings that each was holding flew and scattered everything around. ‘What a manga scene’, you had thought back then, laughing alongside Tora for such a mess. You have been best friends since then.

Then, alongside came Kira. While Tora is all sunshine and rainbows and a torrent of energy, Kira is the complete opposite. She is chill, wears dark and elegant clothes and looks at everyone like they are underneath her feet. You admired her confidence in every possible situation.

You, well… You are somewhere in the middle between those two girls. Not too bright but definitely not too dark. However, you were confident in your own skin, so that is what matters.

"And there's all the medical tests we have to do," you went back to the conversation. "What if a woman is sterile, or a man? Would they be absolved from all of this?"

"From what I understood, yes." Tora replies, clearly munching something she is eating.

"I hope I'm sterile!" You hear the comment from somewhere behind Tora. You snort, recognizing Kira's voice.

"Shut up, you dark and pessimistic soul," Tora protests, and you couldn't smile wider. "Oooon another note… have you searched for what permissions we need to take the kids to the museum?"

"Oh, yes! They were kind enough to send me the papers for it." You smile, now excited with this news.

"Fuck. Have I ever told you two how much I admire the patience you both have to work with kids?" You hear movement with Kira's sudden comment from the other line, now closer to the phone. You could imagine both of them lying on their stomachs in Tora's bed.

You smile fondly at Kira's words. Tora and you are school teachers. You teach kids from four to five years old, while Tora decided to teach bigger kids, between nine and ten years old. Again, Kira is the opposite of you two. She is the one with a Stylist major and a very successful career in the fashion industry and all the juicy back stage details.

"No, but a bit of love won't hurt," you say feeling in high spirits even though the news of a big and detrimental change in society had just been announced.

"You kinky Miss Y/L/N, I love you," Kira says in a very seductive low tone of voice as you gasp and Tora erupts in a fit of laughter. She was clearly referring to you as your position of teacher, and that is something no joke should come from. You work with kids, for God's sake!

"Don't you ever say that again!" You protest, trying not to laugh thanks to Tora's contagious one.

"You love me, still." Kira's tone of matter of fact makes you shake your head smiling. These women were your salvation.

“I have an amazing idea!" Suddenly Tora yells in excitement, and you already see it coming, "Let’s say goodbye to Y/N's so beloved freedom and welcome the new hot and lickable male heroes and future husbands in a very 'Trick Trio' way!” You roll your eyes.

No. Never ask about Tora's way of calling your three person friendship. EVER.

You fake a tired sigh but then smile, “Pizza and anime?”

“Pizza and anime, baby!” Kira yells back, and you can hear their high-five through the phone.

See? How could you not be friends with them? They are definitely what you consider the sisters you never had.

"What if I get paired with Chargebolt… Or! What if it's Red Riot!" Tora's steps are little jumps as she walks in the middle looking like a kid who is about to be taken to their favorite toy shop. Her excitement is completely shared with Kira's, but the last one has more self consciousness and just chooses to smile as she walks as elegantly as always.

You sigh. It's not that you're completely against this atrocious law. It's more the part in which you don't have any say or choose in it. What if you end up with someone mean? Or a secret villain? Or what if it's someone who is horrible with kids?!

You were not going to repeat your mom's history. Or so you hoped.

"You know what would be cool? Marrying Red Riot's abbs. Oh, what would I give to sit on that hot and sexy table."

You frown. How…? Why…? You shake your head. You are better not asking.

Being friends with those two taught you way more things than you expected. One of them was that there were times when you didn't need to know or to understand everything they talked about. This was one.

"You know what's hotter? Dynamight's biceps." Tora contributes as their destination appears at the distance. "My hottest scenario includes Dynamight coming back from work, all sweaty and buffy and making me lick his biceps. Oh, I would gladly die for them."

The imagery makes you gag.

"That's disgusting, Tora," Kira says, surprising you and Tora herself. Kira is always up for nasty and dirty scenarios with the Pro Heroes they like. It's a bit weird that she is not on board with whatever Tora's vivid imagination comes up with. But suddenly, she smiles and looks sideways to her two friends, "I love it."

You roll your eyes for the nth time as Tora beams in the next thing Kira says, "My hottest scenario includes Deku smashing my ass to Detroit." She smiles proudly as Tora groans.

The imagery again makes you wince.

"I swear… those big, powerful hands, ugh."

You do not engage in this type of conversations. Not because you don't find some of this generation of Pro Heroes attractive, they are; and the way that they risk their own lives for the country is very admirable. It's just that you don't follow each thing they do, nor actually know much of them. Of course, you hear the stories of how they defeated some big villains –or even helped a nanny cross the street– through your two obsessed friends and the kids at school that idolized them. But even then, when the news on the TV turns into Heroes feats, you simply change the channel or even turn it off. You have better things to do, honestly.

Your friends keep going on their fake scenarios talk as you three approach the door to the big and ostentatious hospital where the tests for The Pairing are carried out. They are simple blood and Quirk tests, nothing too complicated. From what the old man in the conference said, it was mostly to analyze the physical aspects of each individual to pair them with the best possible counterpart that would have the chance to fertilize the egg on one hundred percent of success. Yes, those are the exact words he used. And the very small, tiny letters in between the lines said: to create humans with the best Quirks ever known.

Of course, no one would ever admit that.

You hmm to something Tora asks your agreement for, not really paying attention to what is the conversation about now.

You don't have a very useful Quirk; not that the thought of becoming a Hero has ever crossed your mind. In fact, being raised by a man like your grandps actually opened your eyes and never even the intention to know more about Heroes in general crossed your mind. So, you really doubt you would ever get paired with some Pro Hero. You're mostly sure that they will be very selective in that aspect. A useless Quirk like yours, which gave you the ability to create illusions, more specifically in paper –you had only once tried it on thin air, and you almost die; so nothing else but paper, thank you very much–, will get nowhere near a Quirk like the oh, all mighty and greatest Pro Hero Deku, for example.

As you look side eye to your friends, and knowing the type of Quirks they have –and their eternal fantasy over Pro Heroes–, you realize you don't have it in you to pop their delusional and warm looking bubble. They are happy in their bubble, and you love seeing them happy.

But the fact remains. They would never pair them with Pro Heroes.

Kira's Quirk consisted in her having the ability to manipulate small things with her fingers from a distance. It had helped her a lot in her career, especially when the time to apply makeup to her clients or even herself came. The distance wasn't much, a couple of feets away, but she said she had never been able to move anything bigger than an eye brush or a pencil. Nevertheless from a very far away distance. She is okay with it though, she is still a hot badass successful woman. You are so proud of her. In Tora's case, she could make letters on the school board or actually any surface grow bigger, but she had never tried it anywhere else. She always says that she's better not having a cool, massive Quirk, or she would be insufferably annoying to everyone. Something you do believe with all your might.

You are so immersed in your thoughts that you hear Tora's warning of "Y/N!" late. You collide with a strong wall, your nose hurting thanks to it. You actually have to rub it to alleviate the pain, already feeling the redness there. But when you open your eyes you realize that the wall turned out not to be a wall, but a man. A huge man. He is the biggest man you have ever stood close to. Tall, almost three heads over yours, arms that looked like big rocks thanks to the thickness. His face is handsome, strong jaw and fine lines that accentuated the elegance in any spot you looked at in his face.

But all that handsomeness is slightly uglied by the deep scowl in his eyebrows.

"Watch where you're going, grub."

His bark almost goes unnoticed by the thickness in his voice that makes you tingle in places it shouldn't. But as he walks past you, you realize what he said… Did he just…?

"Did you just call me a grub?"

He doesn't reply to you, but he does look slightly back at you and you see the corner of his mouth lift a slight centimeter in a smirk.

"Oh, fuck you, asshole!"

You yell as he simply walks out of the building through the door, not troubled at all by your insult.

What a stupid jerk.

"I'm on your side, I'll forever, always be on your side," Tora appears suddenly next to you, her hand grabbing yours as you watch the jerk walk away, "but that was a fine, delectable man that you just insulted very out loud in the middle of a Hospital reception."

"He started it." You defend yourself before turning around and walking towards the counter, trying to ignore all the stares in your direction.

You hear both of your friends sigh in delight as they keep staring at the guy.

"Traitors." You shake your head, receiving the form you had to complete from the receptionist. You wanted to get out of that Hospital as soon as possible.

Two hours later, you were sitting in front of an old lady who looked at you like you had just been the shit she accidentally stepped on outside, and it was your fault. By the white doctor's gown she wears, and the little medal of the government attached to the right pocket of the gown, it isn't difficult to comprehend that she is the medical scientist in charge of the whole Pairing part of the law.

"Your test results are good. All functioning well and wealthy. You are fertile." Her robot tone makes you angry, and you want to protest so hard about all this protocol bullshit–about the whole fucking law! But for some reason, you can't take your eyes from the big, heary looking mole that stands on her face, right next to her nose on the left side.

You can even hear Kira in your head, "That is an uuuuuugly mole. I mean, the woman is ugly, but that mole makes it worse. Like a witch. A witches face indeed. Would her Quirk be a witch?" And you can hear Tora laughing at Kira's words. And you feel bad about thinking about all of this as the woman speaks.

"It won't take long to find a perfect match for your eggs." You visibly wince at her words.

"The fact that you people call it egg, only makes me feel like a chicken being prepared to–..."

"A chicken would be able to find itself a partner faster than you. Your age and still no children? You're clearly the problem, not your body."

You're sitting perplexed in your seat. The hot, very fucking hot sensation of letting yourself explode in anger travelling up your body. Who the fuck does she think she is?

Now you definitely don't feel bad about your thoughts.

She sighs, tiredly and annoying at your mere presence, "You shall receive a letter in the span of three to five days with the results. There will also be the date in which you'll have to meet your husband with the representative governor who will make you sign the contract."

She closes your chart and puts it away, then she looks boringly at you, expecting you to go.

The venom is right at your tongue, and you can't go without saying anything to this… horrible woman.

"I'm twenty five years old, and I haven't had kids because I made the choice not to. You're almost sixty, what's your excuse?"

Hell, you don't know if she has or not kids of her own, but by the expression on her face, eyes and mouth opening wide in indignance, says you have just spot on the right thing to say.

You smile, big and fakingly charming, as you stand and leave the doctor's office without giving her a chance to say anything else.

Once you're outside, you swear loudly. You just dug your own grave. Fuck.

Two days later, a letter was left in your mailbox. It had the signature of the Government so it wasn't difficult to comprehend that it was about this freaking law. You don't open it though until you're inside your apartment. You leave it at the table, while throwing your bag and tote bag with the Tupperware of the day inside, over the couch. You need to firstly freshen up before you get into your house duties.

You turn on the TV, news channel currently going, and walk towards your room to get changed. Thanks to the small apartment you own, you don't need to have the TV very loud to be able to hear it from your room. You leave alone, you don't need much or a bigger space.

"It happened again! Heroes Deku and Dynamight saved the day once more! A group of synchronized villains attack the Central Bank of Tokyo, witnesses say–..."

You huff, not really paying attention anymore. It's not that you aren't interested in what happened, you'll know either way tomorrow when Tora goes on about it, all day.

Once you're more comfortable, you walk back to the living room/kitchen, grab your tote bag so you put all the Tupperware to wash, still news of heroes on the TV that you really don't pay attention to. When that's done, tote bag folded back in its drawer and everything cleaned up, you turn and see the letter. You sigh, grab it and walk to the couch to sit.

"On other news, the Law is already taking effect in our country. Today, after five days of the official announcement, the first three couples have signed the Contracts after being Paired. All of the males are Heroes."

"Do you think it is a coincidence?" Comments the other journalist of the show.

"I don't think it is. It's clear that Heroes have the pressure to make this work alongside the government," answers another, to whom you snort in agreement.

"I agree. I don't know if it's by duty or support, but in the end, they are like us, don't you think?"

They kept talking about it as you opened the envelope in your hands and read its content.

'Ms Y/L/N, the government it's pleased to announce that your results have been Paired. We happily wait for you on the following date to meet your Paired to officially place a date for your Contracts.'

You feel like vomiting.

Shit, it's happening faster than you thought.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

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aita for not talking to my sister?

we both currently live in the same house with our mother and youngest sister, who is in elementary. the sister i don't talk to is about two years younger than me. dont want to give exact ages but we are both early adults now. we haven't spoken in about six years, just small talk that is mostly just me giving her a message or asking if she wants something to eat.

now, i stopped talking to her because we got into a fight because i told her she could not hold my little sibling (at that time my mom was the only one working and i was the one caring for my three siblings, including the eldest who is disabled, and i was the only one who knew how to care for a baby.) and she told me basically to die. and a lot of her words were just stuff she was repeating from my mom who has like this weird thing against me since ive been young, never really knew why. she would yell at me in front of my siblings and still does sometimes, though not as much since shes older. anyway, i didnt speak to my sister for about two weeks because of that and also it was not the first time she spoke to me in such a hurtful way, until some family members noticed and scolded me for it being as i am her older sibling.

i didn't feel like what she said was right but eventually i realized i do love and care for her so i did try to make it up by walking her home from school and hugging her and buying her snacks from the gas station that was near our house at the time. but i guess my actions afected her and ever sense she had no interest in speaking with me, which my mother does still constantly blame me for.

i feel bad and i did try many times to fix things and even still currently although i know she doesnt care for me i do little things for her. but she doesnt want to talk and at this point i don't feel obligated to even want to keep trying to mend our relationship when she doesnt even care.

then recently things kind of went bad, which i won't go too much into detail about, but she ended up going to a mental hospital for a few days for running away and threatening to kill herself. and she made some comments about me to my mom saying that i didn't care about her and its my fault she did those things, which my mom agreed. then she came home after begging my mom to get her and pretended as if nothing happened. i soon found out from my eldest sib (who this sister is closer to) that she only did that in hopes that she could get somethign from my mom but idk what and why she even mentioned me because then some people came around asking me if i abused her or anything and why i didnt talk to her.

but it made me angry and hurt since i have been working to be a better sibling even in this awful household, ive been trying to treat my baby sibling better too so at least she knows she's loved and not alone. i am working and going to school while she (sibling i am not talking to) gets to sit at home. i get her gifts and she doesnt even thank me. i still love her even though she hates me so much, even though i know she was just manipulated by our mom to feel that way about me. and for her to say that after ive constantly tried to be there even when she didnt want me it just hurted.

now i am so tired and im preparing to leave the house because i cant do it anymore, although i would hate to leave my younger siblings with my mom. and i think i will give up trying to mend our relationship, because i thought she could change but its becoming to much and i cant be here. i know i should not have stopped speaking with her and i regret it, but i feel like my efforts over the years should be acknowledged too.

and i just need to know am i a bad person for feeling this way? should i even keep trying?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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elanorpam · 7 months

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Hey, ive been a fan of your cultstuck series since i first read it 10 years ago and its one that i hold dear along woth toastyglow and their siblings' works. Given that we are all adults now with very busy lives, i dont expect you to kerp up with an old project like writing a fan novel fpr free, but i am curious as what ur current plants for earthbent are, if there are any atm.

(Tbh id be happy with any answer you provide, whether its a detailed outline, an unsure shrug, an excited wink hinting at a deadline or an announcement of permanent hiatus. Youve given so much with your writing, thst i just want you to be happy with whatever plans u have)

hey there! i'm going to go with unsure shrug as an answer here.

see, I did have a detailed outline for cultstuck-- i wrote it all down at around ...2015? very soon after the second eridan chapter, and sent it to my beta, who then proceeded to ghost me forever. I was already sensing she was growing disinterested in the fic/the fandom, giving constant excuses, and I myself was dealing with an anxiety/depression combo that would sharply nosedive by the time the finale came around, so i just... let it go. She didn't care. I wasn't in a good mental place to care. We went our separate ways.

I decided to take a mental health sabbatical, and now, after a few years of sertraline and therapy, the thought of picking it back up is very, very far down my list of priorities. I have so many other fics I want to write, for media which hasn't let me this profoundly down! And also, Cultstuck was conceptualized in the post-cascade hiatus, in chat logs and rough outlines, and was never supposed to take later canon into account unless it dropped any interesting, matching lore...

...but late act 6 took such a dump on the characters and the setting that it took the joy right out of playing on my patch of sandbox, fenced off as it was. And I couldn't connect with the Retcon timeline at all, but some of its developments are so popular and so deeply entrenched that I hesitate to contradict them even though i kind of hate the whole thing and never meant to take it into account?

Let's take the strongest example: Davekat. Dave and Karkat in Cultstuck were never meant to be anything more than mutually annoying acquaintances connected only indirectly via Terezi-- Dave was to be her moirail, and aro-ace besides. This was because for the entirety of the comic, that was the only vibe I got from Dave as a character, and from his interactions with Karkat as a whole-- he and Karkat felt too similar in mutually unpleasant ways, like a cousin that's just enough like you to give you second-hand embarrassment. So by the point the comic was playing coy with pushing the New Dave and New Karkat action figures together, you couldn't get me to care about Davekat if you put a gun to my head. This really hasn't changed in the least. And that means whenever I think of dealing with disappointed Davekat fans in the future of the fic, I just feel an all-encompassing, soul-deep exhaustion.

but i also don't want to drop the fic altogether, for some reason? Like, I might not feel this way forever. So idk, i'm keeping my options open i guess. Subscribe to the fic/series and maybe 10 years from now you'll get a notification like a holiday miracle. Who knows.

#cultstuck #homestuck #homestuck thinks

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azurdlywisterious · 5 months

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How would the atompunk trio react if the protags of their games were switched around. Like idk, put Chell in Rapture and the Courier(however you designed them) in Aperture and Jack in the New Vegas Strip. You can decide how the protags are swapped around though

oh ho ho you have no idea how long ive been planning the larger universe this au in my head is set in. so let's tune into the madness together, shall we?

(circutboard divider made by @violetbudd )

Mr. House meets Jack

Mr. House was not expecting a jumpy, uncoordinated young adult to stumble his way into the Lucky 38, but Victor has nothing but good things to say about the kid so he can't be bad. Jack follows order well, which is both a blessing and a curse Mr. House finds out, so he works out a way to get Victor to keep reminding Jack of what he needs to do and it's smooth sailing from there. Would consider working out a deal with the Followers of the Apocalypse to see what is up with Jack after the Hoover Dam battle.

Mr. House meets Chell

Mr. House gets along with Chell quite well. Chell is efficient and creative with completing missions. And she's willing to be paid in only information which cuts down on costs by a lot. He does find that gun of hers rather intriguing, which would turn into a whole cat and mouse of him trying to get the portal gun from her to examine and her not giving him the gun. Chaos ensues.

Cave Johnson meets the Courier

Cave Johnson wouldn't realize that the various people he keeps testing are all the same Courier. But hey, when you're dealing with an anomaly that keeps reincarnating lets you vivisect them, you tend not to ask too many questions (except for why do you keep coming back after you fall into the corrosive water). Certainly keeps the Courier around later on, hoping to figure what keeps them regenerating their body while keeping their memories intact (in his quest to live forever). Sadly, he doesn't figure it out in time. The Courier would then explore the Aperture labs until who knows when. Although thanks to the fact that they can sorta never die (sure their body dies but their memories dont think kinda like a timelord) then they would remember exactly who Caroline was when interacting with GLaDOS. Oh and the angst of finding all the old lab stuff and Cave Johnson's voice logs again at the Portal 2 timeline point of the game that would actually be heartbreaking.

Cave Johnson meets Jack

Cave Johnson loves Jack. Everyone loves Jack! Who wouldn't love Jack? Cave Johnson would be sure to let everyone know that no one gives Jack orders except for him and Caroline. Would treat Jack like the son he never had and also give him cocaine for his anxiety (for science). Would also want to vivisect Jack to figure out how he keeps lighting things like the mantis men on fire. Wasn't seriously considering making combustible lemons until he saw Jack could light things on fire and decided that the same principles could be applied to lemons too.

Andrew Ryan meets the Courier

Andrew Ryan actually gets to interact with only one Courier thanks to the Vita-Chambers. And as luck would have it, he gets to interact with Suzie Fromme (my favorite courier and the one I always think of when I think of couriers). And he would think Suzie is weird and unhinged and way too powerful but not in a cool way but in a way that scares him (you modded a Bethesda protag of course she breaks reality). But since she's an agent of chaos that only wants to help people he would strike a tentative deal with her to take Atlas down. She would agree for the low price of "a room in the prettiest building in Rapture" which according to her is in Fort Frolic(?) which with all the delirious denizens dropping like drones means that there probably is an open room. Did I mention Suzie has the Black Widow perk? Upon finding out how she got rid of Atlas, Andrew Ryan decides that she is not to be trifled with at all and can be Sander Cohen's problem until the city collapses.

Andrew Ryan meets Chell

Andrew Ryan would probably love and hate Chell. Love because she dispatches enemies with efficiency and doesn't listen to Atlas but also doesn't listen to him. Eventually determines that she just wants to go to the surface and leave forever and after doing a couple of missions for him, lets her. Doesn't like that she's playing all sides trying to find the fastest way to leave, but she just wants to always come put on top. Which she does. Would weaponize her bond with Tenenbaum in a last ditch attempt to get her to do what he wants.

#the courier is like a timelord to me i guess #atompunk ancap trio #mr house #the courier #fallout new vegas #cave johnson #caroline portal #chell portal #portal 2 #andrew ryan #jack bioshock #bioshock #long post

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broeikas · 8 months

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hey guys. so. this is.. fucked up!

now, we all know about the heritage foundation right? the famously anti-gay, anti-trans, all around bad organization right?

well uh. they're trying to make it illegal for people to be like, visibly gay in public. this "project" they're doing is called "project 2025", and if you were to go on the site for project 2025, you'd be able to see all the vile shit they want to do. they think that adult content is inexplicably linked to trans people, and they want to eradicate both.

the aim of the project is to make it illegal to be visibly gay by 2025. and like, hey. the heritage foundation has the money and the time to lobby lawmakers into doing this. it's not impossible. so what can we do?

absolutely blast the heritage foundation on all platforms. if they think that we're trying to get kids gender-reassignment surgery, tell them that 1. thats literally an exception 2. its rare for minors to even get it. tell them hormone blockers do not damage kids at all- and route people to studies that say so.

if they're mad about people being gay in public, hit em with the statistics of people who have done nasty shit to kids, and what their jobs are. tell them that drag queens are only around kids that much because they are literally just clowns with different names. and tell them, oh, i wonder.. what exactly did trump go to prison for? oh, god, and all his buddies? isnt that like.. really against their ideology to be against the law or something? i'm not really sure, since they change up the rules so often.

make sure people KNOW that gay people honestly dont fucking care about getting close to kids. sure, there are some here and there, but there are also straight people who like kids. and like, hey, make sure they know wanting to get close to your kids is bad, but that is not what we do! we are not trying to indoctrinate kids at all! we, honestly, don't care.

remember that when you see an identity you dont like.. you can.. idk.. let that person live? who cares if they're pupgender or something. the worst thing that the right did was separate our community into a million little bits, and everyone fell for it! and yes, there are some people who are bad here. but listen. if we let the right command us to squabble about whether or not that new word is a real gender, then we won't get anything done. if you see someone making fun of someone else for their identity, ask if the offender is, legit, okay. tell them that as long as its not directly infringing on their rights as a person, then it's fine, and the fact that they'd hound someone else is literally a cause for concern.

we need to fucking work together, and make sure that we ensure the safety of lgbtq kids and adults. there is no terf here. there is no radfem. there is no truscum or trumed or whatever. there is only the uniting factor we all have, and that is we are a minority- and i'm disgraced to see you guys thought that fighting with the people of your community would be a better idea than trying to connect with them. we NEED to work together, and our inner community issues can wait till we're not being. idk. fucking illegalized. also i should add... this is, according to many people, a lavender scare. so do with that what you will.

SOURCES:

coyoteannie on tik tok

heritage foundation website

project 2025 website

#heritage foundation #lgbtq #lgbtq youth #lgbtqplus #protect trans kids #protect queer youth #uspol #united states #unitedstates #politics tw #tw politics

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ram-de · 3 months

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[readthrough] foxhole court

Um... I heard this is a young adult book so I began reading it. but the themes it deals with seems so heavy what??? From hints of abuse, violence, identity fraud??? Who tf is Neil running away from. um I thoughts it was just a cute book about made-up sports... So why does this dude have a knife ready to stab his teammate in the ribs😭 HELLO????

The practice session is hell.. sports are hellish enough for the determined... Usually sports in the books I read aren't this detailed, then again that's mostly because I read romance sports not strictly sports book with a sprinkle of romance (I don't think this one is a romance)

noooOOOOO sign of abuse... Foxes are messed up and it's gonna be angsty... Found family please? 🥲 "I'll take care of this, you take care of you."

Andrew is creeping me out😭 I'm sorry why did he keep a knife under his arm at all times

Kevin you rude ass

Not gonna lie the story so far gives off thriller mystery's vibes instead of college sports books. There's a lot of baggage here and there sprinkled with violences

This low-key feels like blue lock... Like the sport is THAT serious. Someone is out here hunting a sports player... Wtf is Riko did in the past... Is he part of the mafia or something... As

He's indeed a part of Japanese mafia I...😭

I dont know if I'm suitable to read this one, please there's just a lot and I'm more of a vanilla guy when it comes to stories... Neil🥲

Matt is a cutie what can I say... I'm excited to meet the girls as well!!!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE RAGTAGS TEAMS... PURE SHONEN TROPES... everyone is so creative....

Alright. Here's how I will faction the Foxes:

Anger and Chaos: Seth, Andrew, Neil, Allison

Cold and Apathy: Kevin, Aaron, Neil(kinda)

Lively the Sun: Matt, Nicky, Renee, Neil(hopefully soon trust)

Well adjusted: Dan, Neil(he has to be to a degree to survive)

Why is everyone on each others throats damn CHILL it's not that serious...(it is for them) can we just BREATHE... coach wymack why do we even bother.... This is a mess

Neil's first gift🥲😭 I LOVE SUBTLE AFFECTIONS.....

I understand why there's this term "I can fix him." Because, the appeal of it. Ughh okay Andrew... I don't even like possessive tropes WHY DOES THIS ONE WORKS ON ME

Please don't tell me that the gang is spiking Neil's soda... Can one spike a soda? I don't drink so idk.

SEEE... fuck me this gang is shitty. Also fuck Andrew. He's messed up in so many ways he's unsalvageable. WAIT... THEY HAVE BEEN DOING THIS BEFORE? TO OUTSIDERS... 💀

Bro... This is so uncomfortable to read. I don't have the guts to stomache this... I should've read content warnings before reading this book. Nicky is doing outright noncon with that kiss...

Yeah fuck this group actually screw them all. Whatever the reason for this thing is it better be good. I fucking hate it here. thank you COAHCH WYMACK oh my goodness.

Whatever is it with Andrews lunatic loyalty to Kevin doesn't really justify drugging Neil like that and him being harassed??? Hmmm I still haven't seen an apology

Seeing Neil being passed around with the other Foxes is nice to see. Like a montage of how Neil's current dynamic was at this point. Wouldn't be surprised if they made it happen again as a callback. It's cute.

...frankly speaking I didn't like that Neil willingly returned to Columbia with Andrews pack. Dan and Matt was the only sane person in this team... I can understand the whole Columbia outing with the purpose if Andrew want to made sure Neil isn't bringing harm to the group. But then why was Nicky kissing him...?

Overall. I. I really liked the dynamics between characters and how they bounce. this sports shit is SERIOUS. AND YOU WILL DIE! it's like sports shonen manga because the characters are really vibrant... And i like it. (I like haikyuu :g)

And um. Um... Is Seth really dead...? he hasn't even gotten a character arc!!!!!!! He was warming up to Neil, the back clap when Neil scored, and nights bantered along watching movie with Matt. WHAT IS HAPPENIGN

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Screw me I finished all trilogy... I am having brainrot and withdrawal...

#the foxhole court #readingrams

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elio-monroe · 10 months

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im so incredibly depressed. this post is bad and contains a lot of content warnings that i can't even get myself to type out. i have a hard time seeing any of the stuff ive gone through as real or actually mattering. through most of my life if i tried to use the proper words or phrases i was told i was lying and those things dont count.

so im sorry i cant make content warnings for the read more. just take this as a big general one i guess. im not writing this for an audience im writing this for me.

this is also like a novel. so maybe don't read it because you could be doing anything better with your life. i am not exaggerating. this is so long.

i always feel like a huge bother. like im making peoples lives miserable by being around them if i am not doing everything they want to do. lately i haven't been able to make many decisions by myself, i freeze up and i just cant do it. i have to wait to be told and its frustrating, i hate it. i feel so stupid but i also feel so deeply that anything i think to do will be wrong, that ill be stepping on someone's toes.

i know my friends think i should stop making myself smaller and smaller, they encourage me to take up space. which is nice, i think, but i feel nothing but disgust for everything ive ever chosen to do.

i wish i actually didn't know why im like this. but like... i grew up every summer going to east side michigan, my grandma's house. where my cousins were, my mom's side of the family. my cousin's demanded i spend my time equally amongst them. every night i would swap what house i slept over at, if they got into a fight and didn't want to spend days playing with each other id have to make sure i evenly split my time between them and acted like i was equally on both of their sides.

if they got mad at me, even if one got mad at me, they both would ahhh you know theyd do stuff that wasnt great. a... small and lesser example would be the time they chased me and get me into a corner to terrorize me with a mechanical toy hopper (bugs life). i was very scared of that character when i was young because he was the bad guy and i was like 5 or 6. theyd do a lot of stuff like that, that would elevate as we got older. sometimes even doing more... physical stuff. i tried to tell on them when i was younger, get any adult to help me but none would really believe me. i had a reputation for being a cry baby so to them i was making stuff up. my mom would be too drunk to care at the time (she is better mother now), and my dad wasn't present in my early life (navy).

eventually i stopped being a snitch, it only ever made things worse. i guess that was a good lesson to learn early on... maybe... idk. anyways, anything theyd do to me id just keep it bottled up. i still do. and its extended past my cousins.

in late elementary my friend, who was a few years older then me and in middle school and knew a lot more about sexual education ah, well i dont think she ever meant anything bad by it im still like friends with her though we don't talk really. but i think she is a good person who just, i mean i didn't know what was happening other then being confused because i hadnt had any sexual education.... haha aaah ive just been so stupid and behind my entire life...

when we had sleep overs at her place she would usually have me sleep on a single pillow because i was pretty small when i was younger and she thought it was cute and i wanted to please her so bad. i didnt have a cell phone but she did (these were flip phone times) and she use to take a lot of photos of me... kinda non-consensually, not like sexual ones or anything so i just let it happen because there wasnt any real harm other then my mild discomfort.

eventually she moved away. and then i moved away. we kept in contact though. like i said im still her friend.

middle school was catholic and rough. i was the poorest kid going to a private school. i had hit puberty right before entering 7th grade (my first year of middle school) and my boobs had already grown to be nearly double d. catholic school uniforms are not very friendly to more curvy body types. most of the girls called me fat, i really only had one friend (and one kinda weird stalker-like girl) who had much bigger breasts then me and was a little chubby. i tried my best to not be offended at the fat comments because my friend would get them a lot more and i thought that was fucked up. i never liked when fat people where the punchline to jokes, i didn't know the word fatphobia but i was against all the shit they went through.

anyways i joined the co-ed soccer team and all girl basketball team. i had three years of soccer (on an all girls soccer team, aka real soccer) and i was a fucking killer mid-fielder. my thighs were giant and powerful, i could run for and sprint for hours without slowing down. i was a jock and i didn't even know it. i outclassed pretty much everyone on that team and i was benched pretty often because of this. the coach hated me, like literally told me how i shouldn't be as good at soccer as i am because i was making the boys feel bad. he told me it wasnt my place as a girl to do that. he'd make me run lap after lap after everyone else was allowed to stop i had to keep going.

a bit of a back up here. but i am physically disabled... i don't usually like to say that because its... minor i guess and there are so many people who have it worse. so please don't think ill of me if you are reading this, i know it doesn't count but im just getting it out there i guess. anyways my ankles (and do some extent my wrist as well) are very weak. my ankles actually hurt every single day because i am a very active person and must be on my feet a lot for my job too. but basically my ankles never really fully developed despite how much i worked out as a kid. i droll my ankles probably like 3 times a day when i was younger, im a bit more careful now, only about like once or twice a week and i rebound from it very quickly.

anways after my first year of soccer we had a new coach (this was on the all girls team) bc our first couch had to retire due to... being... not a very great person lets say. the new coach noticed i walked and ran a bit funny and one day asked me if i would allow him or my parents to wrap my ankles in bandages. i agreed and let my dad do it since he was a (navy) doctor. and lo and behold i could play soccer so much better. the pain was pretty much gone and i could fully concentrate on playing the game. and i was so fucking good.

back to middle school (in an entirely different state too) the co-ed soccer coach found out about my bandages, because one of my teammates saw me wrapping them in the bathroom and told him, and he made me stop. i got worse but i still kept trying, i wanted to spite him so bad. i wanted to spite all of them. i especially wanted to spite the girl that disclosed this information.

i hated her so much. she commented on my body so often. she bullied me every single day of middle school (thankfully i only went to middle school for two years). she was fat but called me fat, i never retaliated because it was pretty fucking clear she was insecure. sure the comments hurt because they were mean, but god i much preferred her fat comments to what she would end up sticking with after she saw me naked.

we were both on the soccer team (and basketball team), this was a very small school and i was in the largest class, at 18 people. usually we would have a good amount of time for everyone to change in the bathroom stalls individually, but it was going to rain in the late afternoon and because ppl in ct can't handle the rain like ppl in wa our game had been moved up so we all needed to get changed fast. whatever, i did not care, and i began to take off my uniform. it became very apparent to every girl on that team right then that i was not fat. so much so that bully girl had to give her thoughts on my body which was "wow, deadname! you really aren't fat." she said more but i refuse to quote her directly as it was horribly degrading and very rude to sex workers. but the gist was i had a body type perfect for men. i was 13 and appalled by this comment.

i know that probably seems like a pretty mediocre thing to be upset about in the grand scheme of things. but at 13 i had some... unfortunate sexual time on the school bus with another kid. over the fact that i couldn't be ace because of.... being a tease i suppose. before 13 my cousins often commented about how id dress like a slut from time to time. and i guess they had a point, i have a pretty more sense of what my body looks like and what it is doing at any moment in time. through out my life and still to this day i accidentally show more "private" areas of skin. my ass is fat and short skirts look better on me then long ones (and i honestly do not care that much if strangers get a glimpse, its not hurting anyone and you can just fucking look away). as a kid i often had plenty of "outfit malfunctions" that'd show off my boobs, they really don't make little girl clothing that fits around double ds. and once again i was small as kid, i could not fit adult shirts or bras or underwear (despite how fat my ass is i still wear teen/little girl underwear if im not wearing boxer breifs bc most woman's underwear will sag on me unless i go to an asian run store. mass produced clothing is fucking awful and a scam).

one time, with my first soccer team, the first coach had invited us all over for a halloween party. my mom didn't allow me to dress goth (she was and might still be scared i'll turn out to be a serial killer) but on halloween she allowed me to wear anything i wanted. and i wanted to be a skull fairy because i liked skulls and i loved being able to wear mostly black whenever i could. the top was strapless, the breast size a good amount too small for my honkers but that didn't stop me. mini skirt and thigh highs. i added a black feather boa because i loved boa's but being surrounded by other children meant i could hardly live my true camp-self day to day, but on halloween i could wear the biggest sparkly black boa i wanted. i also had some cool black fairy wings.

at the party she had us play some games, typical things like dunking for apples (i didn't participate in that one because im very bad at not breathing in water when its on my face), and pin the tail on the donkey, like super regular kid games. but there was one game where we were split into three teams, where one person on the team was tied up and chained to a chair while the other teammates took turns trying to find the right key to release the various padlocks along the captives body out of a large bowl of keys. first team to get their captive free wins. as you might imagine this game went on for a long time because there was a lot of fucking keys and if the key didn't work you had to return it to the bowl bc it might work for the other teams and all the keys looked extremely similar to each other. i was voted to be the captive (i wasn't really liked on my soccer team but i was fairly good at it for my first year and the coach saw promise in me and the team wasn't about friendship, it was about winning (we won 90% of our games that year)), which i was fine with because i didn't like the idea of running back and forth and getting frustrated. and in all honesty i was a little freak and for reasons unknown to me at the time, i really liked the idea of being tied up so i let it happen.

and oh boy how i had greatly misjudged how disliked i was! i was the first of the captives to get tied up, and i honestly don't know if there was a sorta mistake on the amount of supplies that were needed but after me, the two other captives were tied a lot less strictly to their chairs. they only had their wrists, ankles, and waists tied and padlocked to the chair, where as i also had my thighs and chest and tied up (no padlock on those two areas though). it quickly explained to me those were for like setting the scene or something. i accepted it but i was starting to panic a little because my chest was tied pretty tight and if i moved even a little bit my top would start to slip down. i tried to stay as still as possible and not bring any attention to my gradual double nip slip. but ya know, its hard to not wiggle a little when you've got various girls hands brushing against you as they try key after key.

the horror of it really came after one of the other teams won, the other team finishing seconds behind them, and my team had yet to find a single successful key. my boobs were fully out at this point and my skirt had rode up so my kim possible themed underwear was on full display. i was pretty embarrassed about the kim possible thing, and i suppose i was right to because my teammates absolutely thought it was lesbian behavior to have shego's smug face beaming from crotch. and to make everything worse, there was no skeleton key to this game. i was stuck there until the actual fucking keys were found. the teasing was pretty relentless, even after the mom came back into the room to see how things were going she didn't help. i asked her to help, i was on the verge of crying because i was very humiliated and wanted to go home (plus i was battling the very alien feeling of arousal), but she figured it would toughen me up to... sit through everything. eventually i was freed and i cried in the bathroom and asked to have my mom pick me up. she did, she asked me how the party was and i said it was fun but i was tired. (as a side note i'd be totally down to recreate this in a far more consensual way hahaha. being tied up and played with by some actual friends sounds so lovely)

so yeah, the comment about my body being great for men, for sex, was a bit to raw for me. i didn't say anything back though. i didn't know how to respond because all the other girls agreed. i got into the next stall as soon as possible and never changed in front of girls again.

i also never wore that skull fairy custom again unless it was with a long sleeved black turtle neck.

i became so much more conscious to cover my body up. but that never worked. i'd continue to be touched and groped until i eventually chopped those puppies off in my third year of college.

but even throwing my boobs away, even after starting t, cutting my hair short, wearing the most conservative outfits, people still touch me. i've grown fine with being touched by friends, i know they mean no harm. or... i guess i hope they don't mean any harm. i think overall people are good and have good intentions and sometimes just do things on accident and we don't have to over analyze everything.

i dont like strangers touching me. but... i'm very very awful. im no good at anything and i just, i just let it happen. every time. i let it happen. i guess i try to softly push their hands away, but i get so scared if i try any harder things will go worse. i dont speak up or say no. at most i maybe shake my head. god i wish i wasn't so fucking stupid.

but then maybe im not. the overwhelming majority of people i try to tell about these things don't believe me. or don't think its really bad that it happened. when i was in college i tried to use the woman's resource center for... ah well for like rape related stuff. but they told me i wasn't welcomed in the center and that whatever happened to me was not rape and does not warrant support. i know its wrong to use resources and support for something you've never actually for real gone through, but i was... and i guess still am desperate for something. i don't know what that is. i don't know how to define what i've gone through. i just have been told its not rape, its not really sexual assault, and its so minor that i can't even call it sexual harassment. but... i've seen people with similar stories to mine get those resources and be welcomed, embraced.

i hate to say this... but sometimes i wonder if its because i wore a tie and dress pants everywhere in college. i've never dyed my hair, and i don't really... idk i guess i don't look queer enough or feminine enough. maybe i scared people because i looked like the people who did bad things to them. i hadn't started t yet when i was rejected from the center, i hadn't even had my boobs removed. but no matter where i went there was this overall feeling that i was 100% a man and men don't go through those things very often. and it made it worse that i was a trans man, if i talked about those things i was invalidating my own gender and it made others uncomfortable. i had friends that hated to think of me before i was chosenname, that would tell me i was misgendering myself if i talked about specific things i went through. so i stopped.

i understood then that anyone who claimed themselves to be a safe person to talk to about things, to come to when you needed help, where not for me. i did not count.

i didn't mention my time in high school. i had one good year, 9th grade, at a tech school in ct. i moved to mi a year later. but i was loved, i was popular, i was just me. i still cry thinking about how much better my life could have been if i could have stayed at that school and not moved away. yeah i was being used because i was the smartest kid in the school and i was actively improving the test grades so much that i became a literal bargaining chip at a big conference for the district panel on fund allocation amongst the public schools. i was very happy with this by the way, and i had actively and enthusiastically given consent for the board members to use my grades as a means to afford more for the school, we all pretended that i wasn't moving come the next year. a few teachers joked about kidnapping me so i could keep attending the school (another thing i told them to do but this time they didn't :c). anyways, worked out well, the whole school got funded, more kids with higher test scores started attentending after me, and now the schools been completely remolded (it was originally designed as a cold war bunker turned tech school hahaha. we had a boiler room still that would constantly blow up and we'd just get random days off of school. it ruled).

then i moved to mi. everything went downhill. i become the obsession of one kid in my grade who i unfortunately had a locker right next to. again i wore a lot of short skirts, but at this point i was wearing leggings underneath as opposed to thigh highs, and i wore my blouses all the way buttoned up with a scarf acting as a diy tie. it was a killer look, id still wear it. but this guy decided i was his anime waifu. he'd try to get me alone. he'd push me up against walls to tell me how beautiful i am and how he would do anything for me. it was pretty bad because i didn't know how to make boundaries. i was scared of him getting violent with me (though he never showed any tendancies to do so... i was... well we've established im stupid). so for three years id occasionally just have to deal with some guy with a huge asian festish trying desperately to date me. i avoided my locker as much as i could.

then there was the pathetic guy. he was a year ahead of me and not interested in my at first. i was on the quiz bowl team with him and he had a bit of a reputation of going after woman who continually turned him down, and he often tried to go for the more.... aaa mentally ill girlies. he went after my friend who was a senior (also not a girl anymore) and i hated him forever after being told about it. i tried to be rude to him, though i don't know if he ever understood that or maybe i wasn't good at being rude (though i'm pretty damn good at it i think!). but after my friend graduated he suddenly started to push himself on me. at quizbowl matches, id sometimes get a little overwhelmed by all the buzzer sounds so id occasionally sit at the back of the room to get a bit of distance from the noise (which everyone was pretty cool with!), and well he'd follow me right on back. he didn't want me to be lonely he told me. i never felt lonely, but i did begin to worry that maybe i looked lonely or maybe he was lonely. but i also didn't like him, but also i was at a sporting event and he was my teammate so i can't be rude to him. so id let him sit near me. then he'd get nearer and nearer and nearer until he had his arms wrapped around me. he'd whisper in my ear and dig his fingers into my thighs, sometimes he'd pull them apart. but i never tried too hard to stop him. i don't know why.

eventually a girl in his grade and on my team noticed this, and she started sitting by me too. he stopped. i never told her thank you, but i thought it, i tried to convey it with my eyes. she didn't care much for me but she always kept her gaze on me when he was around. sometimes.... i find it hard to believe she was the first person to ever help me out of something like that.

occasionally at school the guy would get me alone and he'd be rather violent. he'd make me feel bad that i never told her to stop staring. didn't i like him? didn't i trust him? he was so alone and i was too and he was just trying to make me feel better. he threatened to sue me when i told his younger brother i didn't much care for his big brother as he pushed himself on my friend years ago. i did laugh in his face because that was such an empty threat, even someone as gullible and stupid as me could put that together.

god id never want to relive middle or high school, or even elementary school... or college... wild because i was really good at school and i've never been good at anything ever again.

now these days... ah my adult years have been a bit better. i get groped a little less now that i don't have boobs. but i don't wear as much conservative clothing as i use to. i've started wearing feminine outfits again, which are nice. i try not to let the... weird things people say to me get me down. i try not to believe i deserve those words.

i tried to get use to taking the bus again. i live an hours walk away from my job but i live on a direct bus line to it. though over a year ago... when i was trying out the buses again by myself a man came up to me. i was sitting down at the bus stop and he stood right in front me of, very close, as close as he could be. he was very clearly homeless and most definitely mentally ill so i didn't want to be mean about personal space right away. so he started talking and i slowly pushed myself to the end of the bench se we had more distance while talking. but that did not work as he just followed. his questions got weirder. he had commented about how he thinks boys look nice in skirts and stockings and my stupid fucking ass was like "oh well thats great! he seems really supportive! i guess i don't have anything to worry about!" then his hands came down on my thighs. i placed my hands on top of his hand gave them a slight push downwards, i was trying to say "please don't" but that wasn't clear enough. he instead started rubbing my legs up and down.

at this point i was like "ah fuck! again! again with something happening at a bus!" but i could not summon up enough of a fight in myself and i just kept answering his questions like a dumbass.

then he asked "where are your parents", that was an odd question. "not here, at home probably." "are you heading to school?" "no... no." i was so lost at this question. it seemed so fucking bizarre to me "what school do you go to? what school around here? where are you going?" "i graduated!" "from where? when?" "grand valley! a few years ago!" then i watched his eyes grow cold. he stopped smiling. and he turned and left me. no further questions. the bus arrived and i got on. i just stared out the window and cried silently as i slowly realized what had just happened. i was suppose to then take the bus back, but i couldn't. i called my boyfriend and cried to him and asked if he could pick me up instead and he did. he promised me he would if i ended up getting to uncomfortable.

i try so hard to get use to the bus. i think public transportation is great. but i keep getting scared. my looks get me in trouble more then they give me any benefit. he isn't the first guy to think im a kid and try stuff with me. even in college well meaning people told me their attraction to me felt incredibly illegal. i still don't really know how to process that. personally i think i'm rather ugly and unapealing. but i've had plenty of people tell me they are attracted to me but feel bad about it. and i don't know what that means.

i know i can't have an onlyfans. no matter how much i prove my age it just gets reported for being csem, same with instagram. i had to stop posting pictures of my fully clothed body on insta because even those were getting reported! i can't show my face for my works socmed bc it'll get taken down. even when there was just the back of my head people thought i was a child (and were freaked out by the content of the reel due to my perceived age).

i feel like im just trapped forever in this weird... bubble. nothing ive been through is considered to be enough. but all of it slows me down. all of it scares me. all of it continues to ruin my life. i get anxious. i get so scared. i have to be told what to do. i need people to not see me as human because when people care about me at a deeper level, when they don't just see me as some fun toy to play with and throw out in a year, i get scared.

god this has gone on for so long. i did not mean it. but i gotta get in the shower. i have to go to work. im scared and anxious and depressed but i gotta go to work. i wish i could just do art. but i've just started self harming again instead. im so stupid. but i guess writing all this out was better then cutting myself.

now if you somehow read through all this. do not call the cops for a wellness check. i will try my hardest to do suicide by cop.

also never call the cops for a wellness check on anyone ever you fucking moron. do you know what they do? do you? do you fucking know? would you believe me if i told you even a single fucking thing they've done to me? or are you just going to ignore that and call because "youre so scared for me" and you think because im white ill be safe. shut up and unfollow me. never talk to me again. block me. you are a fucking idiot and only view the world in black and white. i do not need that in my life. educate yourself on the history of cops and disabled folks, trans folks, and gay men. seriously. fucking go and learn and be a better person.

#this is probably the most information ive shared about myself in regards to these events #they are still very very vague #bc i know none of it matters or counts #doesnt matter how graphic i tell it or what details i include or dont include #none of this will ever mean anything #and thats just life

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cocksuki2 · 2 years

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this isn’t anime related (I apologize) but i need a bit of advice? idk but yk how hard it is to get a job especially in this day and age right. well my dad keeps pressuring me to get one when I’m literally disabled (deaf + autistic) and I’ve also told him that i am not mentally ready to have one but he’s not listening😭. i have severe anxiety, always paranoid, horrible sleeping issues, and scared of everything & everyone. i have no experience in the work field but he wants to hook me up to work $9 an hour when that’s literally like pocket change. not even $16 an hour like my sister is making. ((now with this monkey pox going around??? yea i dont even wanna step foot outside rn))

idk what to do, do you have any advice on how i should go about it? i cant bring it up w/o an argument happening. sorry if you’re uncomfortable with answering this ask😭you can just delete it or ignore it😞

hello hello!!!!

i honestly don't think im equipped to give advice when it comes to this, especially since it seems you and i have very different ways of coping with things. i also don't deal with a disability that affects how i interact with the world, so i feel VERY underqualified to give any advice at all about this.

my best suggestion would be to come to a middle ground of sorts with him. speaking from my own personal experience with an anxiety disorder (so pls take this with the largest grain of salt possible since it is very likely that u and i interact with the world in very different ways), i found that getting a job and putting myself into the workforce was the best way to get over the hump of not feeling prepared. it kinda forced me to be like "alright, this is how the world is regardless of my own shit that i have going on" which is kind of a shitty thing but at the same time it was very rewarding for me personally.

the best place to start getting experience is to just jump right in and try and get that experience wherever you can, yk? and while you deserve to be paid at least minimum wage where you are (in my state it is 15 an hour), its good that your dad can hook you up with a job where you might feel more comfortable. i think that if you were going to try and find that middle ground, you should maybe at least articulate that if you are going to work, you deserve to work for minimum wage at the very least and that you at least want that if you're not going to have much of a choice in the matter.

that being said, the way we interact with the world is probably very different and i can see where the apprehension that you're feeling about entering the workforce might be coming from. it can be a really unforgiving and difficult place. the fact of the matter is that in this capitalistic nightmare we live in, work is a necessity for adults and your dad is probably just trying to look out for you the only way he knows how (I'm assuming).

however, if you are not ready, maybe try having a conversation with him about how you can get ready instead of just saying no, yk? bc as adults, we all gotta work at some point to support ourselves (im assuming once again abt your situation, sorry). a good way to avoid a blow-out argument would be to show that it's not that you don't want to work but rather that you feel unprepared to go in as you are now and might need a little time and extra assistance to learn what to expect for someone with your life experiences.

again, i feel woefully unqualified to give this advice, but i at least hope that it can offer some clarity and a little comfort in knowing that there are many people who don't feel ready to enter the workforce, including me when i first started working. i hope that you work out a solution that works for you and that things begin to improve.

#cal.ask #im really sorry if this is inadequate #im not really qualified to be giving this advice but i didn't wanna leave you hanging

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strawberry-nugget · 3 years

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Oddly specific bnha headcanons

Characters: Deku, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari, Jirou, All Might, Endeavor, Hawks, Dabi

A/N: I'm finally back from my mini hiatus and I finally finished a part of my never ending cursed head canons and I also hit a new milestone so I feel like you all deserve this attempt of mine at comedy for the love I've been getting...I'm also sorry, this is a wild ride, and as you're reading you might wonder why did I make these? And the answer is, simply, because I can 😭, no lol though true... I'm soft so if these made you laugh and you leave an LMAO comment I'll think about it forever uwu. I've talked about most of these with my dear friend @aichiin, who is an amazing artist whom should support in all platforms uwu bye

Warnings: some of this content is NSFW, 18+, so if you're under 18 DO NOT INTERACT

Disclaimer: everyone is at least of 18 years of age

• I can't explain why, and we've seen Endeavor texting shoto in canon but... I feel like probably his texts look like this: …..shoto why aren't you Answering your phone…

….tell fuyumi to make you soba… .

… ……are you still friends with that rude boy from school..

…I don't want any take out dont get any for me tell natsuo that I'm sorry and try to ask him if he's changed his mind about forgiving me.…

• All might opens a Facebook account a month before the beloved class graduates as his way to keep on touch with everyone after they're off to fight crime and lives his life as the ultimate Facebook mom and thinks he's texting people but apparently posting on your Facebook wall isn't texting. He has probably made a thousand posts asking midoriya how it works until people just, they just, accept it, I guess, there's nothing else they can do. He uses the Facebook mom tulip emoji and writes in all cap. Give him credit for being so sweet tho.

And probably it goes like this: "💞🥰🌷🤣WHAT AN AMAZING SUNDAY. GOOD MORNING YOUNG MIDORIYA HOW HAVE YOU BEEN" Ofc he will not hesitate to use all these emojis unironically, in fact, he doesn't know that is the ironic use of an emoji, leave him alone

(Comments on the post most probably go like this: Bakugo: I EXIST TOO YOU OLD HAG, FUCK YOU DEKU, I DIDN'T BRING YOU TO THIS WORLD BUT I SURE WILL TAKE YOU OUT. MOTHERFUCKER.

Denki: mister al mght do we have english tomorrow ?

Momo: @denki, no but we have literature, hello mister all might sir, have a nice day too

All might: YOUNG BAKUGO PLEASE WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE 🤣 YOUNG KAMINARI, AS YOUNG YAOYOROZU SAID YOU HAVE LITERATURE AFTER MY CLASS📜 HAVE A BEAUTIFUL EVENING YOUNG YAOYOROZU🌷

• I'm sorry for this but.... Midoriya, Denki and Kirishima probably lick their finger after they absolutely drill it in their noses but here's the deal

Midoriya inspects what he fished out like thoroughly, Denki dissociates while staring at it, and Kirishima does so straight out of his nose

• Someone told Shoto that Saiki K is based on true events and he genuinely believes it and tries to find Saiki K, claiming that he is the answer to all of his problems. Is very subtle about it tho.

• I think that in part one of these atrocious head canons we established that Keigo would willingly put effort to find the clit, right? Listen he probably asks what's the concept of the clit, like why is it outside and not inside- wait you have another spot inside, yeah? He's is so confused and for what? Won't stop for it mid sex but he searches reproduction organ anatomy later on on google because he brought some questions in his brain that need answers. On the clit. You heard me right.

• Dabi looks like he once had a break up that was so rough that he opened a Twitter just to drag the other person down. For once, I won't go into detail and will let your imaginations run wild.

• I have to do a a cursed one for Bakugo right? Well yeah uhm, he probably was caught flexing his muscles in the mirror during vacation, totally naked too, by one of his friends in his group and screamed in a high pitched voice and picked up that little hotel room fridge to cover himself up and chased them around the hotel room until he just crushed the poor item. To the floor? Because he tried to use it as a cover up and it just slipped... It's even worse if the friend was a potential s/o. He'll scream like one of the screaming/simping TikTok sounds.

• Bakugo also really hates chairs. Idk why I have this headcanon, but I know it in my heart that this man, as an adult, only has those round weird- ish IKEA stools around the kitchen table that's all. No more chairs. Nothing.

• this is too self indulgent but Kirishima and Deku look like the people who, while washing forks, spoons etc they create whole stories about them and treat them like characters, and others would just look at them so confused as to why it takes 16 minutes to wash off a spoon and why are they also crying but you wouldn't understand. This spoon is Cinderella. Back off and let. them. finish. their. stories.

• I feel like Jirou has phases where she only wants to wear black but then she sees a nice pair of jeans and buys it, and then buys some more and then she gets mad about having blue jeans and she dyes them, but then she grows out of that phase for a few months and she tries to find ways to make the fabric paint fade away

• I also think that she, after spending a little time with Momo, spends money on a lot of clothes, and it's not like Momo buys too many clothes, but Jirou always wants to upgrade her wardrobe and ends up feeling lost on what she wants to wear

• Denki and Kirishima turn into the same person a little more every single time they hang out together. You'll listen to Denki say 'manly' all the time and Kirishima starts trying to find leather jackets that look cool on him, and just adopts Dennis speaking habits.

#bnha #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fanfiction #denki kaminari #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima #momo yaoyozoru #endeavor #dabi x reader #dabi #all might #mha #bnha fan fiction #bnha cursed heacanons

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jooniely · 3 years

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svsss thoughts lol

i posted this on twitter but wanted to post it here too cuz ppl here love to discuss and will actually read this maybe and i would love to discuss things cuz that way i get to see things in a new light

so here it goes, my messy thoughts months after finishing svsss main story but not the extras:

thought about how shen jiu and bingge are parallels of each other and illustrate how cycles of abuse work, and how both suffered and made others suffer, and ultimately lost everything they ever wanted and worked for in their lives and now im sad

i dont think theres a lot of fics that explore how similar their characters are. its also odd to me that there are fics that paint bingge as being okay while sj is irredeemable and scum. i had a lot of issues and was upset about the potentials of svsss that were not met

thankfully i was not the only one & i was able to find very few fics that delved into things svsss ignored. i appreciate how mxtx writes her stories as realistically as possible cuz she loves to write about how ppl judge without knowing everything. its a common theme in her works

it works well in tgcf and mdzs but to me it ends up being frustrating in svsss. it works well in tgcf cuz we still see the whole picture so we dont miss anything, its the same with mdzs but with some restrictions ex/ mxy and how we only know him thru rumours

and given the false rumours that we saw with wwx we can guess how false the rumours about mxy were as well. someone also wrote about this lack of closure or knowledge for both the characters and readers and how it works well with the themes of the novel but i cant find it lol

that being said, this style, although perfect for her other 2 novels, it falls short imo with svsss. now im admitting that i have yet to read the extras so maybe these things were answered there but there are major characters that we just dont get much about

my complaint here is 100% not critical lol, its personal, i wanted more info more screen time for characters like shen jiu given how important he is but we never got that. our narrator is so unreliable we cant trust him on anything (imo that takes away from the reading pleasure)

sy 100% believes everything from PIDW when it comes to lbh and sj and with lbh it causes so many issues that could have been avoided, this is not a complaint, this is part of the story and theme. but it leaves me frustrated especially since with the other 2 stories the reader gets to get out of the narrator's head or can see to an extent the flawed judgemental way of thinking and how it was wrong. with svsss we dont really get that? maybe cuz i never realized our narrator is extremely unreliable, idk. tbh idek how to explain

idk how to explain properly cuz my thoughts about it are messy. like random thought i re-remembered: the lack of reaction to sj just up and disappearing. sy never realizing the ppl around him are ppl and not just fictional characters. sy not caring about the person who's life he had to live. from the lack of background on sy himself we as a fandom assumed he had absent parents and died alone and thats why he never cared about his old life, no mourning or grief. he easily gets accustomed to life without almost everything old teens/young adults live with. no reaction to the amount of violence and death around him. its one thing to read about but another to live thru. from our assumed old life about him, he should have been very sheltered

the more i think about it the more i see things that frustrate me cuz the potential was so high &honestly if mxtx took a crack at it now with her improved skills, it would reach the popularity levels of her other novels. but oh well i guess thats why we have fanfic lol

there are other things that i just didnt like at all, like that assault scene or how it ended with them apparently just leaving everything behind? and how i can literally list the red flags in their relationship (and i have listed them in a previous svsss rants/thoughts post on here when i hadnt yet finished the novel) but i attribute this to just idk, i like to ignore it, its not great

this is all over the place but if you read this, then i welcome any response just be nice pls lol, i had to block some ppl from my last post cuz they were being mean and rude and honestly that just makes me upset and less likely to enjoy the content you may be rudely defending. despite my criticisms of svsss i still love reading fanfics about it cuz i see the potential and see some writers who are angels and write some amazing svsss fics that fulfill the potential.

#svsss #scumbag system #scum villain self saving system #mxtx #danmei #bingqiu #luo bingmei #luo bingge #luo binghe #shen jiu #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #scumbag villain #mo xiang tong xiu

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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for what its worth i originally followed you /because/ i find it so charming how passionate you are for your specific niche interests. like i know nothing abt hlvrai like i have literally no idea what it is (is it... a podcast? lets play...?) idk how i found you but i just thought huh this person is really cool and neat and super into this thing ive never heard of and super unapologetic that its "weird" fetish shit, thats dope, /im/ into weird fetish shit lol and ive loved seeing you on my dash since then, even though i still got no clue who these dudes are. Sorry this is weird lol i hope this doesnt come off as condescending or anything i just thought why not let you know (:

that is very nice of u and i have no idea how you got here or how youve managed to stick around but.....thank u nonetheless

and i know you didnt actually ask this but this ask is basically fresh meat to a piranha so (swiveling in my chair) i am going to tell u about hlvrai.

hlvrai is a half life machinima, which basically means "a handful of people used a video game to roleplay a bunch of characters in a story". (sorry if this seems condescending. i dont mean to be im just erring on the side of caution.) you can find the abridged version here on youtube. it was streamed live on twitch by funny man wayneradiotv, and ended up developing a terrifyingly huge fanbase b/c A) its funny, but also B) it has a dude that exists purely to antagonize/flirt with the main character, gordon freeman. this dudes name is benrey. he is almost certainly the biggest reason why this fanbase exploded shortly after it aired. he is also, unfortunately, the half life security guard model that cursed my dick

the thing about hlvrai is that it also spawned a uniquely sex-averse fanbase. which is why i end up with so many people giving me shit on here. there are a number of interlocking reasons for this. one is the average age of the fans. its an M-rated machinima based on an M-rated game, but a huge chunk of the fandom consists of 15 yr olds with incredibly wack ideas about sexuality. red vs blue (the halo machinima) also had a primary audience of teenagers and young adults, but it has over 10 fucking thousand fics on ao3 and not nearly the same violent repulsion towards adult works. probably b/c the average gamer was more likely to just call you a slur if they found out you wanted the purple and orange master chiefs to bang.

this dovetails with some popular misinterpretations of comments made by wrtv and the cast about nsfw fanworks. wayne doesnt like seeing them and it makes him uncomfortable to be shown them, but he has stated multiple times that he doesnt actually give a shit if people make them and we can do what we want in our own spaces. he has no desire to play fandom police and, more importantly, has no desire for anybody else to do so, either. buuut most people who are het up about this are teenagers who are already uncomfortable around the subject of sex, who think that wayne was just being coerced into saying that stuff, and who very much do not want to be convinced otherwise. (and im certainly not gonna fucking try.)

at the end of the day a lot of peoples problems with nsfw fanworks boils down to, they see these machinima characters as just "the streamers being themselves", so drawing them touching dicks amounts to drawing rpf of real, actual guys. like the mcyt fanbase. but its just demonstrably untrue! wayne repeatedly has to cajole himself into getting into character as gordon freeman. benrey has his own fucking plushie and is a recurring character on waynes streams now. they are their own characters! and at this point i have psychoanalyzed them so thoroughly and read so much into a half life improv series they might as well be their own fucking OCs. (god knows thats what most content in this fandom amounts to, anyway.)

sorry. that was mean. anyway i dont know if you care about any of this but if you ask me literally anything about hlvrai i will explode like a water balloon. i am just enthralled with the concept of the series and with these two characters in specific and i still really really want them to fight and fuck and piss their pants or whatever embarrassing shit

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angelathewitch · 3 years

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Okay I just finished the ACOTAR series for the first time and I have so many thoughts so I'm gonna write them down.

Also I have not looked at any fan theories or been a part of this fandom very much so all these headcannons are straight from the noggin:

Literally what the fuck is tamlin doing.

Okay getting this out of the way cause its a hot topic. Azriel is my baby I love him but

I would have mixed feelings about him being with both gwyn and Elaine. I love the idea of Elaine being azriels sunshine he deserves light in his life (also their scene in ACOSF had me ejdjbdksks) but also all three bat boys being with all 3 sisters rubs me the wrong way idk.

Gwyn is amazing because she's a badass bitch and if azriel doesn't snatch that up I will. I feel like azriel almost gets bulldozed over by the other bat boys (like he will do the dirty work only because he feels inferior) And I want gwyn to help him stand up for himself.

Gwyn is an adult jfc. I'd be more worried about her trauma.

I am totally a elucien shipper I'm SORRY lucien deserves the world

But at the same time I would totally understand if Elaine couldn't forgive him for his involvement in the cauldron business. That shit was wack. I just want this relationship to be the biggest, most "period drama esqe" slowburn.

I have very mixed feelings about lucien. On one hand lucien has never had a home and when tamlin took him in I can see how that loyalty blurred the lines of right and wrong. But at the same time lucien messed up MANY times where the archeon sisters are concerned.

Nesta deserved her kick in the ass because it was needed. She did not deserve everyone to be a little bitch to her. It felt like feyre was the only one who wanted her rehabbed for nestas sake. I definitely would have preferred Nesta to hit rock bottom and choose recovery for herself (cause alcoholism and things can only be truly solved through self help) Everyone else was uncharacteristically nonempathetic. Idk how Cassian could be okay with her treatment after they mated.

I'm still digesting Rhys and nestas relationship. I like that they don't like each other for most of ACOSF. Nestas reasons for treating feyre poorly are valid, but not excuses. The feyre, Nesta, and rhys relationship thing is weird cause I see all sides. I need more feyre and Nesta bonding they always get interrupted.

I HATE what SJM did to Mors character. What the fuck is up with mor not liking Nesta. Maybe we will get an explanation in the next book but I feel like mor was set up to be a great LGBT character with himbo allies but SJM just dropped her off a cliff. Big mad.

However I do want eris and mor to end up together. Not necessarily romantically, but I want them to have it out and I want eris to support mor. Kinda want them to be mates. Kinda want eris to be gay as well. Kinda want them to get married and them have consorts.

WHY does everyone treat feyre like a porcelain doll when the IC has more collective trauma than anyone else in this universe. Don't get me wrong I'm all about the hurt/comfort but it was so inconsistently written LOL. When the IC was telling their stories the first night they met and then feyre told hers I cackled like sorry but she is a baby

Rhys's trauma is just as recent as feyres... yeah he's a lot older and seasoned but oh my GOD he was consistently assaulted for 49 years. Feyre does very little to comfort him. Idk I feel like it was SO glossed over.

Like in ACOWAR feyre admits that amaranthas hatred wasn't personal it was general, unlike Tamlins hatred. But amarantha and rhys had multiple personal vendettas against each other. Like his amarantha is vaguely feyres tamlin. Rhys didn't even get to kill amarantha. His trauma is untapped. Rhys is the main character feyre is the love interest idc

Idk what yall say rhys is my baby my lovebug my everything. He's got his flaws but you can't love Nesta and hate him at the same time without being a lil hypocritical

But he's fucked in the head for thinking he was justified in drugging feyre every night for 2 months. Almost more mad about that than the SA (I dont really blame Rhys since it is not cannon to me. SJM just messed up 😌 it was so out of character) did he ever really apologize for that??

ALSO I know smj wanted to write like #consentking but half of what he allowed was so unnecessarily dangerous (like the first AND second weaver encounter- if my SO ran off in the middle of a battle to track down a mysterious creature when the task could have been done after the battle I would have be livid. Mor was justified in being mad.)

I'm so mad rhys didn't flatten tamlin during the high lord meeting. Either it will happen in the future or I will burn these books.

THE BAT BOYS HAVE CONNONICALLY BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM WHILE HAVING SEX. the foursomes in my head gets clearer by the day

I HATE the fact that rhys almost had an existential crisis over feyre being so young when she found her mate and not having "lived" and THEN GETS HER PREGNANT??? Are you kidding me. I'm so mad. I don't wanna deal with babies. I hate babies.

But I DO have a fun headcannon that since the bone carver is a death-god or whatever he KNEW nyx wouldn't survive and that is why he appeared as him. Also when the bone carver offered to take feyres first born in exchange for help rather than the oroboughs I think that was also foreshadowing. The only reason nyx survived was because of Nesta and the bone carver had trouble seeing the cauldron.

((Maybe nyx should have died during the birth idk))

Literally I would have enjoyed ACOSF if instead of the pregnancy feyre was busy looking for bryaxis. Literally what happened to him. Wtf

I know the plot armor is crazy thick around the IC but it would have been nice if one of them died. Well, not nice, but more believable. Maybe thats why nyx should have died. Lol I need therapy.

FREAKING HEADCANNON: the archeon sisters are partially fae. Their mom was definitely a descendant and that's why all three sisters have mates. It was hinted that the sisters had mated because they were powerful and cauldron made but Cassian and rhys could feel the pull before the sisters were turned.

Tarquin is the hottest high lord

The whole blood rite thing was stupid. I would have loved if it was spread out over a longer period of time but it was so unrealistic

You know we all love a good #girlboss🤢 moment but the whole valkarie thing seemed 1. Out of no where 2. Really quickly forced (ACOSF should have been like 2 books) 3. If emerie and mor get together life=complete

The inner circle and ther archeon sisters would not get along if they weren't mated to like 50% of the gang

They're too whiny

It's so weird that the mating bond can only be felt by guys??? Lol wut

Okay I know this is a complicated subject but having LGBTs in a universe with mates based in evolutionary advantage seems more homophobic than having a universe without LGBTs LOL. Like their connection can't be as deep cause they can't procreate?? I did like that SJM made up for it a little by saying not all mates are complementary souls.

Hybern was so powerful and for WHAT. I don't understand

Vassa, lucien, and jurian being a trio is so weird 😐

I WANT A NOVELLA ON THE STORY OF AMREN AND VARIAN. They are my otp. If anyone has made it this far and knows of some good amren and varian fanart pls let me know

Okay that is all for now thank you if you read down to here xoxo gossip girl.

P. S. Also I am starting throne of glass and am having a hard time getting into it. Can anyone vouch for this series please I'm conflicted.

Edit: omg I was zooted when I wrote this and didn't realize my phone autocorrected cassian to Caspian RIP

#acotar #acosf #acosf spoilers #elucien #gwynriel #azriel #pro nesta #a court of thorns and roses #a court of war and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury

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foolgobi65 · 3 years

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i really wish the writers of lucifer hadn't turned chloe and maze's friendship into such an afterthought! like ok:

- when they start in season 2, both of them are in pretty isolated places socially. chloe, already a pretty introverted workaholic, is just newly divorced and has exactly one (1) friend: lucifer. maze has finally split off from lucifer and has two (2) friends: linda and trixie, but for the purposes of this comparison linda really is maze's one friend. maze has just accepted that she's not actually going back to hell, that this time on earth isn't really just a lunch break before they go back to the real world (hell) and so she now has to figure out how to build a real life in LA.

- basically, both maze and chloe are kind of in similar positions in terms of being isolated and really only having a singular overwhelming relationship with someone as opposed to having a network they can rely on so that all their eggs aren't in one basket. you can see where this backfires on both of them throughout the series when linda spends the week not talking to maze after seeing lucifer's face, and when lucifer runs off to vegas and suddenly chloe is stuck with all these feelings she can't express (and crucially can't talk about to him, her best friend.) ofc lucifer and maze's relationship transcends friendship just based on their immense history and is its own weird thing that i also kind of wish they had given more thought to, but w/e.

- enter: maze and chloe's friendship! i think for both maze and chloe, the other person is as "far" as you could get from themselves, but is fascinatingly still someone they can like, respect, love, and be loyal to. for a good while (and this is something i REALLY wish they had maintained) chloe, maze, and dan are basically raising trixie together which takes so much respect and trust that the other person is someone you want having a hand in influencing a kid you love! i think what's interesting is that, unlike lucifer who is trying to answer existential questions about his place/purpose in the universe, maze is really just focused on the people she cares about and having a good time (which is rooted in her doing meaningful work as a bounty hunter.) chloe is someone who pursues duty to the point of self-sacrifice, and obviously her friendship with lucifer helps her loosen up, but the pedestal he places her on/reverence he sometimes feels for her prevents him from really popping that bubble in the same way maze does. also chloe and lucifer's relationship gets SO much more complicated around the time maze enter's chloe's life so the role that lucifer once had to shock chloe out of her comfort zone kind of goes to maze once chloe has to draw some personal boundaries with lucifer.

- i think the key to maze and chloe's friendship is that they're both people who desperately need someone who embodies the other person's best trait. while this tendency isn't always healthy, maze is fundamentally someone very loyal to those she believes deserves it. obviously she's also betrayed people a billion times but at her core she's deeply committed to those she cares about which is something that i can see chloe find really appealing. at this point chloe has spent so much of her life in this weirdly precarious position where, since her dad's death she hasn't been able to fully trust anyone or open up to them. obviously she loves dan, but its clear that even when they're still "good" he doesn't trust her instincts or potential like he should, and when he spent those months gaslighting her the issue for her even beyond the fact that he shot malcom would have been that he didnt support or trust his wife. the appeal of lucifer is that from the beginning he identifies that she's smart and moral with good instincts. he trusts her, and strangely over the season she begins to trust him too! and then he runs off to vegas, etc etc lol. maze's primary loyalty probably isn't to chloe, but we see that to the best of her capacity she wants chloe to be happy -- she gets the prison warden killed, she "tries" and then really does listen to chloe venting about lucifer, attends the parent night chloe was stressed about, sets aside her grudge with lucifer to find chloe.

- in turn, chloe's best trait is her ability to accept people as they are and see their potential. of course she doesnt really have that many friends, but the people she is attracted to are all works in progress (dan is obvious, as are lucifer and maze lmao, but there's also ella who confesses something very personal and scary to chloe and gets a hug in return, and even charlotte who chloe's had clashes with both as charlotte and Mom for years but still gets the benefit of the doubt.) maze does have to change when she comes to live with chloe and trixie, but we see trixie grow up heavily influenced by maze in ways that makes it clear that chloe must genuinely like maze, or those influences like the handshake and the passion for gore and the knife training wouldnt have been allowed. we know that the reason maze is so loyal to lucifer is that he was the first person to ever accept her for who she was unconditionally, without shame or judgment. we see that for lucifer chloe is that person, especially because she sees his potential for growth just as she sees maze's. because she doesnt have preconcieved notions of what they're supposed to be she only sees them as people going through a difficult period of growth and supports them as best she can: reminding maze that they're friends, worrying about her in canada, trusting her with trixie who is the most important person in chloe's life.

- of course, chloe and maze have lucifer and linda but narratively lucifer and linda become so much MORE for chloe and maze. the show sunk linda/maze lmao but linda's clearly the adult maze cares most about just as lucifer is chloe's. and for both in s3 this person they each place so much of themselves into suddenly hurts them and they both spiral. i think there was real potential for chloe and maze to become each other's support and develop into a really steady, enduring friendship in contrast to the chaos of their individual romances (you will NEVER convince me that triangle was about amenadiel rather than linda lmao.) even post s3, they don't really address that maze really hurt chloe by pushing her towards pierce, and that chloe hurt maze by lying to her. i really think there could have been a lot of growth from maze going back to living with chloe and trixie after making full ammends and chloe realizing that actually, yes she can deal with this and it isn't that scary and then the tragedy of her maybe missing her shot with lucifer becomes more stark. we see chloe and maze teaming up in the first episode of 5A but then they blow that up too! i get that chloe needs space and its clear they're both using the other as placeholders for the people they really want, but there's no reason that they couldnt have come back together later and re-established their friendship on screen. obv they wouldnt work together after lucifer comes back, but to me this is where i believe they should go back to living together. without that, maze's connection to trixie in terms of what they can show on screen becomes tenuous and chloe's home life just becomes less interesting/worthwhile to see bc it'd just be her or maybe her with trixie. without that, it feels like we just see a lot of chloe either at work or in relation to lucifer (bc thats the best bang for your buck in terms of interaction!) we do get to see maze with linda, which is nice, but idk just feels like a step back from early s3 when maze felt more embedded in a community of people who liked, accepted, and cared about her wellbeing.

- i think one of the issues is that chloe and maze's friendship might have seemed like a knock off of their "main" relationships with lucifer and linda bc they have similar dynamics with them, but idk! there's a sense of fun that we get from their friendship that we dont really see from the main pairings because those are so serious and passionate and the main mechanisms by which the 4 grow so there isn't as much room for the lighter stuff. i know i said that chloe sees the potential for growth but she's not really pushing maze to talk about her feelings. she's doing the dishes maze won't, smiling at maze and trixie's handshake, shrugging off the fact that maze is throwing knives at their rented walls. maze and chloe create space for each other to be seen as themselves, good or bad, in ways that linda and lucifer can't for whatever reason. they don't really push each other, just let the other person be. it wouldnt be the ideal dynamic if they were the only person in each other's lives, but i think its vital to have someone in your life who can, in chloe's case, gently push you outside of your comfort zone and in maze's case offer acceptance, friendship, and trust.

idk this is just going in circles as i repeat the same points over and over and over but i really wish they had put more thought into sustaining the maze and chloe friendship throughout s4 and s5 because it would have brought out notes in both of them narratively that i think are lost otherwise. also its just sad for trixie that someone who was basically part of her family who she was living with is just...not there anymore and that's never addressed. : (

#lucifer #maze #chloe decker #lol im just writing this here to avoid doing school work rip #back to pretending to do a reading!!!

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zontiky · 3 years

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okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry.

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

#didnt proofread this at all 💀 fhsdfks #tua #the umbrella academy #pls dont let this flop i spent like an hour on it hfjksd #aus #team zero #ben hargreeves #wip #I GUESS #misc #ghosting au

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