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omegasomeone · 8 days

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I’d started to write a story a while ago, but I wasn’t very happy with how I had written some of it, noticed stupid stuff I did (like forget like half a paragraph), so I rewrote it (also, this post is the “remaster” of like 5 different ones so long post ahead)

I wake up, still not used to being alone in a small bed. I get up, then make my way to the living room, where I am greeted by.. nobody. I grab a few copper coins, I’m gonna go buy some flowers later.

I’m in the middle of making myself breakfast when I hear a knock at my door. I can’t really answer, I have to watch my fried eggs to not burn them. It’s 6 in the morning, and I am not expecting anyone, much less at this hour. After a dozen seconds, another knock, this one louder. I continue ignoring them: if they wanted to see me, they could just have come later. “Guards here! Ingrid Desne, open this door or we will have to break it open!”

Ugh. That’s a name I hadn’t heard in a long time, kinda hoped I would never hear it again. Can’t help it, I guess. Though, this just made my day even worse in less time than it would take to say “bookworm”. “Wait a sec”, I yell, “I’m coming!” I turn off the stove, then note on a sheet of paper: “restock on fire stones”. I place my eggs on a plate. Perfectly cooked! You’re an egg master, Gri! Finally a good note to start today on! I go to the door, and open it, before firmly telling them no never ever dare call me that name again unless they had a death wish.

The guard promptly announces: “You are under arrest for suspected attempt of deicide.”

Oh, my runes. Oh, my fucking runes. And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse. I answer that this case was closed exactly 324 years, 2 months and 9 days ago, and that I was condemned to have my magic sealed off for stabbing a god with a non magical weapon because that asshole killed my partner over losing fucking 20 copper in poker, and that I would go enjoy my breakfast and to come back later with concrete proof but to not bother me before that pretty please, then close the door and come back to my eggs that, of course, are now cold. I haven’t swallowed a single mouthful of eggs when my door suddenly shatters. Half a dozen people burst into my living room. Someone raises their hand, and my mind goes blank.

I feel… weird. I think I’ve blacked out, but I am at least half conscious now, even though I can’t move, my body feels like a ragdoll, I can barely see anything, and most importantly, my head is in my plate. At least I can smell the odour of my mastery in cooking eggs better. Yay.

I hear muffled voices, saying something about evidence. My mind is cloudy. I feel like falling asleep. So much for a day where I had planned to bring flowers to a tomb then go to sleep. Someone grabs me. I struggle not to lose consciousness again. Someone puts me on their shoulder. I feel like I’m gonna black out a second time.

I wake up. I smell faintly like rotten eggs. I look around, to see where I am: no windows, damp walls and floor, bars.. yup, that’s a cell. Ooo, a plate! I chow down on the stale bread that was probably supposed to be my sustenance for the week in less than ten seconds, before noticing someone seemingly sleeping in a chair on the other side of the bars.

I call: “Hey, what the hell is happening?” Startled, the guard falls down from their chair, stands back up and picks up their staff. “Since when are mages prison guards, I ask, and why am I here?” The mage casts a fireball, and slowly approaches me. I couldn’t clearly see them beforehand, but the light of their spell makes me able to notice their face and clothes: with light blue eyes, and a small, slightly pointy nose, a bright pink and white dress, looking like they have never been hurt a single time in their life, their appearance startles me.

“Wait, if you aren’t a guard, then who are you?” I shout at them, before realising that my aggression was not at all helping the situation, as they were trembling. I sigh: “Listen, kid, it’s not against you. I woke up in a cell after being abducted during my breakfast when my day was already ruined, and the people that took me didn’t even bother cleaning me when they made me faceplant into it. I am in a pretty bad mood right now, but I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like this. What’s happening to me is not your fault, as far as I’m aware, so I’m sorry. So, why don’t you tell me who you are and what is going on?”

“Come on, I don’t bite! I am just trying to get answers, and you happen to be the only one I can get them from. So please, give me some explanations.”

The person on the other side scrambles for something in their pockets, before pulling out a pen and a small book. They write something on it, before showing it to me. In a full-of-loops handwriting, there is noted: “is it true that you stabbed a god?” “Yes”, I answer, surprised. “I used to count the amount of days had passed since I had done so, but now, I don’t really know anymore. I only just woke up and it could have been 10 minutes just as well as ten centuries since last time I was conscious! Why do you ask? And I don’t remember knowing who you are?”

My interlocutor promptly shows me their book, in which I read: “I need your help! Order from the daughter of the King!” Wait, what? That old fart has a daughter? I still remember how much of an event it was when his first son was born, which was…10~ish years ago? How didn’t I hear about a daughter? Oh well, might be a touchy subject, if true. She didn’t specify her princess rank, just said she was his daughter.

Might also be a lie, but at this point I don’t care anymore, at least I got an answer.

“So, what do you want from me? It’s not like I’ll be of much help without magic anyway, I’m pretty sure.” She writes: “please help me escape.” Confused, I ask her what she need to escape from; she then answers, in a slightly hesitant writing: “this country. My father. Everything.” On the next page, there is written: “I was fleeing the castle when I heard guards talking about the incarcerated god killer, and when I found this prison, nobody was guarding it. I thought you could help me.”

She takes a keyring out of her pocket as I accept, and inserts a key in my cell’s door. Nothing. She tries with another one. No success either. She removes it. Pick up the one next to it. Still no progress.

After what felt like years, she finally finds the right one. I step out of my cell, and we make our way out, without encountering any guards, nor any prisoners for that matter.

Before opening the jail’s gate, I turn to my newly found adventuring companion, and ask her: “by the way, you can call me Gri. What about you, what’s your name, Princess?”

…

“You don’t want to tell me? Well, I’ll just refer to you as Princess, I guess?”

As we open the doors, I realise the streets are empty. The sky is pitch black, but nobody turned the streetlights on. Even then, there is still light some light, almost as much as if it were late afternoon. No shop is open, and even the inn is closed. Carriages are few and most of them are broken, no horse attached to any of them.

I trip on something. A guard. Or more like half of one: their lower body has been ripped off, and judging by the state of decomposition of the body, they’ve been here for a few days at least. In their hand, a fancy but broken sword. I pick it up: it’s better than nothing, and it’s not like they’re going to need it. I notice a few arms on the floor. A leg there. Yeesh.

I turn to the princess, and before I even ask her if the city was already in this state when she entered the jail, her horrified expression gives the answer away. She starts pointing at the sun. Crimson. …Just like last time a god had been attacked. I would know, I’m the one who stabbed that sucker.

Is this why I was arrested? Was it already like this when I got arrested? No. It can’t be. I’m pretty sure the sky was blue then. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do wh-

Something grabs my arm. It startles me, and I only recognise the princess after a solid five seconds. I take her by the hand, and ask her to follow me: we either have to flee, or hide. The panic that must have caused the city to be in such a terrible state can’t have only been the result of the red sun, something -or someone- must have been at least part of the reason for such a chaos. And if whatever came to this place and killed all those guards is still here, we’re in deep trouble.

Through narrow streets, we make our way to a house: run down, with ivy growing on the walls: the only reason I recognise my house is because all my furniture can be seen in the living room, through the broken door. Everything is ruined inside, like it had been left to mould for years. All of my food has gone bad, and there are cracks on the wooden floor.

After asking the princess to wait for me, I make my way to my room. Except for the musty bed and the occasional worm-eaten wooden board in the flooring, everything seems about fine. I grab the little box under the bed: still intact! A small wooden box with a silver lining, and protective runes carved on the sides. Inside, a small crossbow, a dagger and a pocket watch, all lined with silver just like the box they’re in. I still remember when I got these as if it were yesterday. I guess you were right: “a silver lining to see hope in tomorrow”, huh? I wish you could tell me what to do, you’ve always been the one guiding me. I miss you so bad, Leun, you have no idea. But it’s too late, I know. You’ll never be able to come back. Your soul might not even exist anymore. I am so sorry for not being able to bring you back. If only I could have done some-WAIT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO GRIEVE LOVED ONES WE HAVE TO GO NOW

I rush into the living room with the box, put it in my bag. Ew, moss grew inside of one of the pockets! We make our way out of the city through small alleys. Nobody is even guarding the city gates anymore. The sun looks to be setting in a few hours: we’d better get to the nearest town before sundown.

#hobby writer #fantasy #long post

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rickmandowneyjr · 3 years

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Cuts to Cope

Angst, fluff Pairing: Severus Snape and Student!Reader (platonic) Warning: talk of self-harm, mentions of character's death Word Count: 2348 A/N: This is a little piece I wrote a while ago but didn't know if I should post or not. After re-doing certain bits, I decided to upload it. Hope it's not too difficult to read. As always, the ending is a little abrupt and not too detailed, leaving it sort of up to y'all as well :) Sorry if there are any typos (I only ever get the time to write when it's quite late nowadays)

Yet another day at Hogwarts - waking up at 6:30 am, showering, getting dressed in your robes, and heading to breakfast. Wishing everyone you passed a good morning, wearing your signature smile as you did.

You were a 7th year, one of the few returning ones after last year's incident with Cedric Diggory. He'd been your best friend, or at least that's what people thought. Cedric Diggory and you had been dating for the last 7 months before his death. You didn't want anyone knowing because being star students meant eyes prying into every aspect of your relationship.

People praised you, a model student and now, prefect, who set an example. An example of how to be strong and cope no matter what life threw at you. Little did they know, you harboured a little secret. A dark, horrifying, and disturbing secret that would never let anyone look at you the same way if they ever found out.

Your first class for the day was Potions. You were a brilliant student, especially at Potions, yet Snape still had something against you. You didn't take it personally, though; he wasn't really fond of anyone. You walked into class, taking your regular seat at the front. Snape walked into class a little while later, slamming the door behind him, commanding everyone's attention.

"Turn to page 420," he drawled. You opened the book to find the recipe for Amortentia. Your heart felt a tug at the name of the love potion, never having been able to find out the answers with Cedric.

Snape's deep voice brought your focus back to class as he said, "Since it takes a week to brew, I've already completed most of the process. All you need to do is the last day's work," making the class sigh with relief. "However," he continued, "The last day of brewing is crucial and not easy. So, I expect your attention to be fully on the task at hand."

You began brewing the potion, following the steps perfectly. Snape sat down to grade papers as the class worked. He looked at you and said, "Ms. [L/N], roll up your sleeves while you work. I'd hate for there to be mishaps in my class because of one student's carelessness."

You hesitated, but then did as asked. You weren't the best at wandless magic but had made sure to perfect this spell solely for such instances. As you rolled your sleeves, you subtly waved your hand over your forearms, mumbling, "Illusiont," and casting the disillusionment charm.

You saw Snape narrow his eyes at you and panicked for a second before you saw him shake his head and return to grading. Breathing a sigh of relief, you returned to the task at hand and continued brewing.

After a while, you'd finished, and were the first one to have done so. Snape walked over to your desk and took a whiff of the potion, raising an eyebrow before giving you a single nod of approval, letting you know that it was perfect. Once everyone was done, he walked around, starting at the back, and asked everyone to announce what they smelled. You hadn't smelled your Amortentia yet and hadn't planned on doing so either, feeling quite relieved when Snape hadn't asked that question earlier.

Your heart rate quickened as you began to worry about how your body and mind would react to smelling it. You couldn't do it last year, since the Triwizard tournament had led to a bunch of classes being cancelled. As you thought about how excited you had been at the prospect of sharing the experience with Cedric, Snape's voice pulled you back to your potions class.

"Ms. [L/N]."

"Yes, sir?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What. Do. You. Smell," he spoke, irritation evident in every word.

You swallowed hard as you leaned forward to inhale the scent. Your pupils dilated, your heartbeat quickened and your knees threatened to give out at the all-too-familiar fragrance. Your throat went dry as you stopped the tears from forming.

"Well? We haven't got all day, class is to be dismissed soon." He raised an eyebrow at you, asking you to hurry up since you were the last one.

With every ounce of energy, you calmed yourself and stopped your voice from wavering. "Old books, butterscotch and... vanilla," you sighed. Your breathing was erratic and you knew you needed to get out of class and get to the abandoned girls' washroom.

As if on cue, the bell rang, dismissing the class. Snape gave you an odd look and was about to ask you what was wrong but you had already gathered your belongings and were marching out the door. He decided to follow you since he'd never seen you act like that before and was wondering what had happened to you all of a sudden.

You made your way up the stairs, hurrying before you had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway. As you reached the washroom, you started rummaging through your bag since the hallway was empty. You took the small blade that you carried around out, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

Snape's POV

I followed her out of the classroom. Though not my favourite, [Y/N] was an incredible witch and this wasn't normal behaviour for her. She'd marched out before I had even dismissed class which concerned me even more, given her usually 'perfect' behaviour. She paced through the hallways and up the stairs so fast that I could've sworn she was moving around faster than I did on a normal basis. There was an urgency in her stride and I don't know why, but it concerned me.

She finally turned into the hallway leading to the girls' washroom on the third floor, which was odd. No one used this, as far as I was aware. I was a little embarrassed, considering I'd just followed a young girl to a washroom. In an isolated area, at that. I swear I never would've imagined myself going even further and following her in, but what I'd seen had shocked and concerned me enough to do just that.

End of Snape's POV

As you entered the bathroom, you had missed Snape, whose eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. [Y/N] [L/N], the golden girl of Hogwarts, had just walked into an abandoned washroom after pulling out a blade from her bag. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, he rushed in, wanting to confirm what his eyes had just seen.

As you were about to enter a stall, the door to the bathroom, swung open, making you jump. You hid the blade by making a fist, unintentionally cutting into your palm. You winced at the unexpected pain but didn't let it show.

You turned to face Professor Snape, and he was eyeing your hand. 'There's no way he saw it, is there?' you thought.

"Ms. [L/N], care to show me your hands?"

You panicked. He knew. You tried to divert his attention. "Sir, this is the girls' washroom."

"I'm aware," he stated. "Now... Hands," he said as he glared at you, letting you know that he wouldn't fall for any attempts to change the subject.

You sighed and opened your hands, and saw his gaze soften. He walked to you taking your hand in his as he gently pulled the razor out. You winced as it came out, knowing this would impair you for the rest of your classes.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, startling you. He reached for your arm, rolling up your sleeves once again and muttered, "Finite."

The scars on your arms started showing up and you couldn't do anything but look away, your eyes resting anywhere but his gaze.

"So that was the Disillusionment Charm I heard you use, earlier."

You stayed silent, still refusing to meet his eyes. Of all the professors, it had to be him. Sure, he wasn't fond of you, but you had immense respect for the man, and to let him see you in this light... it took every bit of you to not lose your composure.

"Look at me," he said.

You turned to face him. His usually cold eyes showed too much concern and the uncharacteristic response from the potions master was proving to be a lot to handle. Tears stung your eyes as he stared at you.

"Why?" He asked, his voice so genuine that you couldn't help but let your emotions spill, creating a mess that you couldn't be bothered to care about anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you sniffled. "I don't want to. He was everything to me and it just hurts so much."

"Who?"

"Cedric."

"Ah, yes. I'm aware you and Mr. Diggory were best friends. I'm sorry, [Y/N]."

"No," you said, finally being able to talk to someone about it. "He was my boyfriend. And... I never got to tell him I loved him... because I wasn't sure. Today just made it worse when I smelled him in my Amortentia. It confirmed that I did and I never got to say it." You were sobbing now, not caring what you looked like, what a mess you probably were, or what Snape was thinking of you and your confession.

You felt him awkwardly wrap his arms around you as he pulled your head to his chest. Your cries got louder and your wails of agony echoed in the empty washroom as your hands clutched the fabric of his robes. The feeling of someone comforting you was overwhelming. You'd always had to keep up this image of a perfect student, reliable friend, someone who could never have such horrifying tendencies.

Even then, as you cried out loud, your instinct made you bury your face in his chest, muffling the 'ugly' sobs. Snape's heart broke as your thoughts flooded his mind. As you struggled to breathe, he turned your head slightly, making you audible again. He didn't hush you; just stroked your hair as your tears soaked his robes.

It took a while, but you finally calmed down, your sobs reducing to soft whimpers before they died out entirely. Your throat was sore, and lips, chapped from all the crying. Your eyes were red and puffy, and the reality of the situation finally came crashing down on you.

Your secret was out. More than one, at that. One of the professors knew, and the strictest one too. You had just spent Merlin knows how long crying into his chest, which was now soaked with your tears.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, your voice, hoarse. "Your robes are all wet now," you said, trying to move away.

"That's the least of my worries right now," he said, keeping your head in place as he continued, "I understand what you're going through. Better than you'd know." It sounded like it was painful for him to talk about it, the tone of his voice giving the vulnerability away. "But this is not the way to deal with it," he said as rubbed your back.

"Does it go away?"

"I'll be honest," he sighed. "It does get lesser with time if you allow yourself to heal. However, it never goes away entirely. A part of you will always love and miss him. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, I'm glad. I don't want to forget him. Or my love for him. Cedric Diggory was and will always be - my first love."

You finally pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes as he gave you a gentle smile. You managed to muster a somber one and sighed.

"Do any of your friends know?"

"Merlin, no!"

"Why not? They're your friends. They could-"

"I can't have this getting out. Everyone will-"

"Who cares what people think?" He raised his voice. It was silent for a while before he sighed and spoke again.

"[Y/N], I want you to promise me something."

You knew what was coming. You gulped and nodded softly.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop this. Cedric wouldn't want this for you."

"I know, and I've tried before. It's not that simple-"

"I know," he said, cutting you off. "Which is why, the next time you get the urge to do this, you'll come to me. No matter what the situation might be."

You were surprised at his words. It was incredibly nice of him to offer this to you, and you nodded, accepting his generosity.

"Also," he continued, "Please stop going to such great lengths to please others and worrying about what others think. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"But nothing. Your health is suffering and you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone because you're so busy keeping up this little charade of 'everything is fine'."

You stayed silent. There was truth in his words and you couldn't refute his accusations. You just looked up at him, once again, finding the uncharacteristic concerned look meeting your gaze. Nodding softly, you agreed. How could you not when someone had shown you such consideration and compassion?

A small smile graced his usually stoic face as he helped you up, and you both made your way out of the bathroom. He escorted you back to your dormitories, ensuring you were alright before the two of you parted ways.

The rest of the school year passed and Snape stayed true to his word, and you to yours. Every time you felt the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the pain, you'd find Snape. He was patient and helped you every step of the way. Slowly, but surely, you were able to overcome your urges and also found yourself living for yourself, rather than up to others' expectations.

By the time you graduated, you had overcome the habit and thanked Snape in your graduation speech, never giving away the details as to why. A lot of people had assumed there was something between the two of you, especially since you went to meet him all through the school year, but you didn't let it bother you, because... Who cares what people think, right?

P.S. - Sorry I've been a little slow with the writing. My college assignments have started rolling in and I'm currently swamped. Also, I'm working on a little something (announcing it in 2-3 days so make sure to check in lol). Rest assured, I'm slowly and steadily making my way through requests. Thank you for understanding <3

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utilitycaster · 2 years

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I've often seen people separate divine and arcane casters in their thoughts about party composition, but I've never quite understood whether there's a mechanical distinction? where do you see the difference? (I'm also always wondering where druids and ranger lie on this spectrum.)

Hi anon!

In practice this just refers to certain classes (ie, some classes are understood to be arcane and some are divine). You'd think there would be but there is not. Maybe there was one in a previous version of D&D, but now there isn't, it's all a wild mess that I will outline for you below.

Disclaimer: there is a very hazy and inconsistent mechanical distinction with regards to specific spells and types of spells but even then there are so many exceptions it's not a hard rule; that said it can be a useful quick-and-dirty distinction for party comp and I've probably used it myself. I'll explain more after giving you the basics.

Divine Casters: Clerics, druids, paladins, and rangers are divine casters.

Arcane Casters: Artificers, bards, sorcerers, warlocks, and wizards are arcane casters; as are the 1/3rds casters who use the wizard spell list (Eldritch Knight fighters and Arcane Trickster rogues).

Why these distinctions are mostly fucking useless:

Divine Soul sorcerers and Celestial warlocks have powers from a divine source, but they are still arcane casters. If you have a warlock patron who is a god, they are divine; your powers are still arcane.

Paladins and clerics could technically get their powers from something conceptual, ie, the concept of light or order; similarly, one might say that druids and rangers draw their powers from the concept of nature. These are divine casters. However, bards get their powers from the "echoes of creation" and that's arcane, for whatever reason.

All the divine casters can heal. Many of the arcane casters can't, but bards and artificers (arcane) always can and some sorcerers and warlocks can as well, so this is not a terribly useful distinction.

Some spells are only officially on the spell lists of one or the other, but subclasses may grant access to those spells: all cleric and paladin subclasses and some ranger and druid subclasses have subclass-specific spells that sometimes include spells normally only on arcane lists; all artificer and some sorcerer and warlock subclasses have subclass-specific spells that sometimes include spells normally only on divine lists; bards have magical secrets which lets you just take whatever spells you want and pact of the tome warlocks can take whatever cantrips they want, and I'm sure there are other examples of this spell-swapping I left out and which are not relevant to my point which is that you cannot tell the difference purely by spells a character has.

Clerics, druids, and paladins are all prepared casters in that they wake up each morning and pick all their spells (except cantrips when applicable and domain/oath/circle spells when applicable) from the full list available to their class and level. Artificers, however, are also prepared casters, despite being arcane. Meanwhile, bards, sorcerers, warlocks, and the rogue and fighter caster subclasses are what used to be called spontaneous casters and with 5e rules I often call "known spell casters" in that they have their spells that they can switch on level-ups and that's it...but rangers are the same and they're divine. Wizards are their own thing, in that they are prepared, but from a book rather than the full class list.

All the wisdom-based casting classes are divine. All the intelligence-based casting classes are arcane. Three of the charisma-based casting classes are arcane, and also paladins are charisma-based but divine.

Because you can multiclass and because what a god or power source is ultimately is up to the DM's discretion, you get such inconsistent fuckery as "Fjord, of Critical Role Campaign 2, is a warlock(arcane)/paladin(divine) multiclass. The source of his powers by the time he multiclasses is a deity (divine, usually). Per multiclassing rules your spell slots transfer, ie, you can cast any spell from any appropriately leveled spell slot. So: Fjord gets Cure Wounds from his paladin levels so it's a divine source but he can cast it with his L5 warlock slot which is an arcane ability. The source of all of this is one deity." You also get "Jester's deity is technically an archfey but she's a cleric so this is divine even though if he were the warlock patron of someone they would be an arcane caster".

Why people use them anyway

It's a quick shorthand to refer to certain classes that are more likely to have certain things, ie, divine does always mean they can heal whereas arcane doesn't necessarily mean it. That doesn't mean you need a divine caster. The Exandria Unlimited: Kymal crew had no divine casters, but they had a bard and a divine soul sorcerer, so they had two full healers. But it's an easy way to refer to it.

Arcane casters are much more likely to have access to certain utility spells pertaining to, well, the arcane, notably counterspell and a lot of the more versatile teleportation spells. However, even sorcerers and warlocks don't automatically get access to identify; bards generally do whatever the fuck they want re: utility spells; various paladin/ranger subclasses get weird shit.

It's easier to say than "person who can heal and buff" and "person who can do damaging attack spells and non-buff utility".

In terms of party comp: it's much easier to say "divine caster, arcane caster, fighter, rogue" than "someone who can heal, someone who has some utility and high-damage spells, someone who is good at tanking and consistent physical damage, someone who is good at stealth/recon" but that's what it functionally means. You could literally have a bard who functions as main healer, stealthy person, and counterspell-haver; a knowledge cleric who functions as secondary healer/other arcane stuff caster; and a barbarian, and you'd achieve this.

#d&d mechanics

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drarrily-we-row-along · 3 years

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Day 106: Eyes

"Malfoy," a voice called as his hair was pushed out of his face and his chin was tilted slightly. "Malfoy," the voice repeated.

Draco was quite certain he must be hallucinating, there was no way that it was who it sounded like.

"Draco," that voice said again, "Wake up."

His eyes fluttered open and he groaned in pain as the light seared through his retinas and straight into his brain.

"Hey," Harry bloody Potter said.

He opened his mouth and spit out a bit of blood.

"Merlin," Potter said, "Do you think you can stand?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "Yes. I'm fine. Thank you for your assistance, Potter."

The other boy huffed a laugh, "Sure. Come on. Let me help you get to Madam Pomfrey."

He shook his head, "Don't let me keep you from your important life," Draco said as he stood up and reached out to steady himself on the wall.

"Draco," he said.

Looking through his swollen eye, he tried to glare at the other boy. "Harry." he parroted.

"You don't have to be so stubborn," he said with a laugh.

He took a step toward the infirmary and his knees buckled.

Potter caught him and put an arm around his waist. "Come on."

(Read more below the cut)

"What? No one else to save?" Draco asked through clenched teeth as he started to hobble off down the hallway using Potter as little as possible.

"Not at the moment, no," Potter quipped. "You want to tell me who did this to you?"

He let out a humorless chuckle, "It doesn't matter."

Potter hummed and caught Draco when he started to slip a bit. "I've got you," he murmured.

Draco tried not to let the words go to his head.

----------

After they'd reached the infirmary Potter tried again to get Draco to tell him what had happened but there was honestly no point.

Madam Pomfrey had shooed Potter out and then Draco had a few hours of peace and quiet while his wounds were healed. Fortunately he had a good book in his school bag, which Potter had carried up for him.

"Why don't you stay over night, love," Madam Pomfrey said and Draco looked up from his book. "You're not quite ready to go back yet and it's just about bed time anyway."

"Thank you," he replied, giving her a little smile before going back to his book.

Shortly thereafter, the door to the infirmary flew open and Draco's head snapped up. Normally an entry of that magnitude meant that something horrible had happened.

But it was just Potter, looking thunderous as he stormed over to Draco's bed.

"Madam Pomfrey's just gone to bed," he said as he closed his book and set it on his lap. "If you've come here to inflict more damage, perhaps you could wait until the morning for her sake."

That stopped the other man in his tracks. "I'm sorry. What?"

"Just, whatever it is that's made you look murderous, I'm sure it's warranted but I do think that Madam Pomfrey deserves a good rest, don't you?"

"I'm not," he shook his head, "I'm not here to hurt you."

"Oh."

Potter rubbed a hand over his face. "I found Smith."

"Ah," he replied.

"He said that you didn't even raise your wand to cast a shield charm to protect yourself," Potter said as though he was personally offended by this.

Draco shrugged.

"Why?" Potter asked. "Hermione thinks it's because the Ministry has told you what spells you can and can't cast, and if that's the case, I'll write a letter to Kingsley right now-"

"It's not because of the Ministry," he interrupted.

"Then why-" he started before pulling over a chair and plopping down next to Draco's bed, "Why do you keep letting this happen to you?"

"I don't see them," Draco replied, staring at his hands that were twisting together in his lap.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't see them," Potter replied.

He shook his head, "Why does it matter?"

"Draco," he said, "You can tell me-"

"There's nothing to tell," he snapped.

"Look, I know that the war was hard on all of us-"

"You have no idea what the war was like for people like me," he interrupted, trying to keep his breathing under control and his voice low.

"No, I suppose you're right," Potter replied and Draco couldn't help but look over at him. "Would you like to tell me?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "There is nothing to tell! Just like there's no reason for me to tell you who keeps cursing me. And there is no reason for me to tell you that I don't stop them because I deserve it!"

They both sat in stunned silence; Draco breathing heavily, his heart hammering away in his chest and Potter just stared at him.

Potter broke first, "You-"

"Don't," Draco said, shaking his head. "Circe, Potter, don't say it. Don't tell me that I don't deserve it because we both know that isn't true."

"Draco," he breathed and it was like he was shoving a jagged, rusty knife straight through his chest.

"Don't," he repeated, begging this time.

"Draco, listen to me."

He shook his head and to his mounting horror a tear spilled from his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault," Potter said.

"Don't," he begged, wrapping his arms around his stomach as though it could stop the way his entire body felt like it was unraveling. "People died-"

"Yes," Potter agreed. "People died on both sides. From your actions, from death eaters actions, from the Order's actions, from my actions; people died. You never actually killed anyone, though. You don't have it in you."

"Potter, I am culpable for-"

"You never killed anyone." Potter repeated. "You didn't want to hurt people, you didn't want to kill people, you just wanted to protect your mum."

"Don't." He shook his head, "You don't understand."

"I actually killed someone," the other boy replied.

"The Dark Lord doesn't coun-"

"When I was eleven," Potter started and Draco was so shocked by those words that he didn't even interrupt. "You remember all of the commotion at the end of the year or first year?"

He nodded slowly.

"I killed Professor Quirrell," he said. "Long story short, because of the blood magic protecting me, he couldn't touch me and it killed him."

"But that's not-"

"Second year, Tom Riddle was sucking Ginny's life force so that he could come back, I killed him. I stabbed the horocrux with a basilisk fang and I didn't even think about it," he continued.

"But-"

"Last year, Pettigrew died because he owed me a life debt and he tried to kill me."

"But-"

"I not only was responsible for Voldemort's death the first time and the second time, I was responsible for killing seven pieces of his soul."

"But it's not the same!" he finally managed to get in.

"Why?"

"Because you were on the right side of things and I wasn't!"

The other boy shook his head, "Yeah but it's not like you wanted to be on that side."

"When I was young-"

"Oh sure," he agreed, "you were a complete arse. But we wouldn't have won if you had turned me in, if you hadn't given me your wand, if you'd killed Dumbledore. It's not who you are any more."

"Still," Draco whispered. "I fixed that closet."

He nodded, "And I can't count the number of things that I've done to cause deaths. Godric, Draco," he shook his head, "I don't sleep well as it is, but I'd never sleep if I held myself responsible for all of the horrible things that happened because of my actions."

"Potter-"

"Look, it doesn't have to happen in a day, but you can't keep doing this, Draco. You can't keep letting people hurt you to atone for your perceived sins."

He let his head fall back against the pillows. As much as he would love to live in the delusions that Potter was offering he couldn't imagine that world actually existed.

"Be my friend."

"Excuse me?" he asked, looking over at the other boy.

"Be my friend," Potter said. "Please."

"Why?"

He sighed, "Because..." he trailed off.

"I'm not a broken thing for you to fix."

"No," he agreed easily. "I'm the broken thing."

Draco stared at him, "You make no sense to me."

Potter grinned like he'd complimented him.

"Will it shut you up if I say yes?" he grumbled.

"For now," he replied with a nod.

"Fine."

"Alright," Potter said, sitting back and making himself comfortable in the chair.

"What are you doing?"

He gave him a little grin, "Being a friend. You're stuck with me like glue now."

"That's a boyfriend not a friend, you're confused."

Potter shrugged and said through a yawn, "Boyfriend, then. That title is fine with me."

"What-?" he started.

But Potter leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead as though it was the most natural thing in the world and every word that Draco knew evaporated. "Good night, Draco Malfoy. Sleep well."

He was so stunned that he said nothing in reply and by the time he'd gotten his thoughts in any semblance of order Potter was fast asleep; his head resting on his hand as he snored.

Draco shook his head and decided that he would just have to wait until the morning to straighten all of this out.

For now, he decided that it might be alright to spend the next few hours with the tiny, fragile ball of joy unfurling in his chest.

--------------

Day 105: Cuddle | Day 107: Charge

#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #Day 106 #Eyes #hogwarts eighth year #Dealing with Trauma #cw: ptsd #becoming friends #drarry #drarry drabbles #drarry ficlets #This one got a little bit long-sorry!!

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lit-in-thy-heart · 3 years

Text

Exhaustion Tactics

It had taken Gwaine weeks to allow Merlin to touch him. Understandable, really, when Gwaine had nearly been killed by the one thing that Merlin was closely affiliated with. But Merlin had been patient. He hadn’t pushed Gwaine -- not when it came to that. He had pushed Gwaine to drink the remedies that Gaius had made him, to join him on walks around the castle at dusk, to eat properly. Merlin had owed it to wait for Gwaine. Heavens knew Gwaine had waited long enough for Merlin.

They’d only shared a bed several times, with Merlin being wary of inadvertently worsening Gwaine’s recovering injuries by kicking him in the night, and Gwaine worrying about accidentally hurting Merlin when he was woken from nightmares. So, when Merlin stirred in the early hours of the morning to find the bed empty, despite Gwaine having clambered in with him the previous evening, he wasn’t too concerned. Gwaine had probably gone back to his own bed.

It was when Merlin glanced towards the window to see Gwaine leaning against the wall, flicking through Merlin’s magic book by soft candlelight, that he began to be concerned. ‘Gwaine,’ he murmured, voice still thick with sleep. ‘What are you doing?’

Gwaine looked up. He still hadn’t fully recovered from Morgana’s torture, and Merlin had lost count of the number of times he’d told him to rest more, but in the moonlight his gauntness took on an ethereal form. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.’

Merlin slid from the bed and sat opposite Gwaine, crossing his legs. ‘You didn’t wake me. Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine, Merlin,’ he softly said, and the smile did seem genuine.

‘So what are you doing?’

‘Exhaustion tactics.’

Frowing, Merlin rubbed his eyes. ‘What?’

‘It’s too warm. And I can’t turn off my thoughts.’ Gwaine set down the book, drawing his knees to his chest. ‘So, instead of lying awake and fretting about the fact I’m not sleeping, I try to wear myself out until I just drop right off.’

‘That doesn’t sound very healthy.’

‘Says the person who survived on half an hour’s sleep for two weeks.’

Merlin picked at his shirt. ‘This is about me, not you,’ he mumbled. ‘No, you, not me. You know what I meant.’

Gwaine smiled gently at him. ‘Go back to bed, love. You’re shattered.’

‘And you aren’t?’

Picking up the book again, Gwaine raked a hand through his hair. ‘I will be. In an hour or so, I imagine.’

Merlin edged a little closer to him, fighting the urge to reach out a hand to stroke his cheek. ‘No offence, flower, but you look shattered already.’

‘I haven’t reached my peak quite yet,’ Gwaine replied, mouth flickering. He raised his head, recognising the expression in Merlin’s eyes -- the worn he himself had worn so many times. ‘It’s okay, love, you can touch me.’

‘Are you sure?’ Merlin was biting his lip. ‘It’s not going to make you too warm?’

‘You always make me warm. That’s what always drew me to you. Now I realise it was probably the fire magic...’

Merlin reached out.

His fingers first entwined themselves with the hair dripping across Gwaine’s face like a stammering waterfall, skittering like stones on a lake’s surface along the smooth skin of Gwaine’s cheek. Gwaine leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, and Merlin dared to shuffle even closer so that their knees were pressing against each other. Despite the heat, Gwaine wasn’t sweaty beneath his touch, but was pleasantly cool, particularly when Merlin let his hand fall to Gwaine’s back, where he had been leaning against the wall.

‘Come to bed, Gwaine.’

‘It’s too warm.’

‘I thought you said you were drawn to the warm.’

Merlin could feel the muscles in Gwaine’s back ripple as he shook his head. ‘No, I’m drawn to your warm. Not the generic one that the whole of Camelot experiences.’

‘I can probably find a spell to cool you down, if you’d like that. But if it’s too much, then I don’t have to,’ Merlin hastily added. ‘You can stay sitting here, or you can go back to your room, or--’

Gwaine leaned forward to rest his head on Merlin’s shoulder. ‘A spell would be nice,’ he murmured. ‘I was trying to find one...’

Hesitantly, Merlin pressed his cheek against Gwaine’s hair. ‘If you get to sleep, you get to sleep. If not, I can tell you a story. Just come to bed, flower.’

‘What about?’

‘Anything you want,’ whispered Merlin.

‘Regicide?’

Merlin laughed into his hair, closing his eyes. ‘I think I have about two dozen of those.’

Gwaine paused. ‘Now I think about it, I am pretty tired...’

Taking the book in one hand, Merlin fumbled for Gwaine’s hand with the other and, receiving a reassuring squeeze, helped him to his feet. It took them only moments before they were both stretched out on the bed, ankles interwoven, with Gwaine watching Merlin flick through the spellbook, his lashes casting gangly shadows across his face. As Gwaine slowly pushed his head along Merlin’s outstretched arm, the warlock smiled down at him. Gwaine’s eyes were closing, despite his attempts to keep them open to drink Merlin in, and Merlin contorted his hand to stroke Gwaine’s hairline.

‘Good night, flower.’

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k2padfoot · 3 years

Text

An Auror & A Healer

Draco x Y/n

Summary: Y/n is an auror who gets injured while searching for an escaped prisoner. Draco the healer has to cope with it all. ( side note- pretend Dolohov was never killed by Flitwick lol.)

Warnings: Blood, angst, fluff, husband!Draco.

Today had been dragging on, and on to say the least. You were called this morning to an emergency meeting with Harry and the rest of the aurors. A prisoner from Azkaban had escaped, and needless to say you were all asked to search for him. The escapee being Dolohov, once one of the dark lords followers and a very cunning wizard.

You were absolutely exhausted, you had been out searching for at least 9 hours now. “Y/l/n!! Snap out of it, we have to keep searching until the sun goes down, ok?” Harry yelled to you from across the mainland. Harry, yourself, and a few others had taken the mainland to search while more aurors were spread elsewhere around the prison.

You nodded back to him and snapped out of your daze. You had trailed off a bit from the rest of the aurors, you knew you weren’t supposed to go off alone so you made sure Harry was still in your sight somewhat. Kicking rocks across the sand you felt like just laying down right there and taking a nap, but that’s when you thought you heard the snap of a branch from behind. You spun around to face the wooded area behind you, when you could’ve sworn you saw a dark figure pass by. Quickly without thinking you ran into the woods.

It was dark, and cold and you weren’t exactly sure how far you had run in at this point. You knew the person had to be around here somewhere so you casted the lumos spell to light the way. You continued to walk a little bit further when your light caught glimpse of Dolohov, his dark disheveled hair, pale sweaty skin, and beady brown eyes staring back at you.. Within seconds his wand was raised and he began shooting curses your way.

“Reducto!” you yelled but he quickly jumped out of the way causing the ground next to him to blow up. His lips curved into an evil smile as he raised his wand again. “Stupefy!” he screamed, but you were faster taking off running the other way.

You were silently cursing yourself for getting in this position alone, with one of the most skillful duelers in dark magic. You kept sprinting while zigzagging your way through the wooded area, dodging branches and rocks. Every so often you’d look back and throw whatever curse you could his way, but it’s like he’d never give up no matter how many times you’d hit him.

“Stupefy!” You heard him yell and suddenly you were being thrown through the air into a large tree. You hit the ground hard, slamming your head into a rock in the process. You could feel your eyes getting heavy, and hear the crunching of leaves around you. You were waiting for Dolohov to come end you right there and then but you faintly heard what you thought could be Harry yelling. All the sudden half the aurors were around you and with that your eyes slowly fell shut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco’s POV:

My shift had started at least 10 hours ago now, and all I wanted to do was go home to my beautiful wife y/n. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by my coworker shouting at me that another auror was being rushed to St. Mungo’s.

Everytime a call comes in about an injured auror my mind of course goes straight to her. I love that she truly enjoys what she does for a living, but merlin can it be terrifying. I knew she was out on a search today with Harry and all I could do was hope and plead to god it wasn’t going to bet her coming through those doors.

The emergency room doors came busting open and I could see healers rushing in a woman on a gurney. It was hard to make out her features at first, but that’s when I noticed the large diamond ring on her left hand.. the ring I gave her.

I didn’t know I had been standing there for a couple seconds until my coworker started yelling at me to snap out of it and help him. I quickly ran over to her unconscious body and started to assess her injuries. Her hair was a bloody mess with a large gash to the top of her head, I could see a few cuts on her legs, and what looked like a broken right arm. I looked up to see Harry and two other aurors standing beside her with worried looks.

“What the hell happened Potter?!” I yelled at him, not meaning to sound so harsh.

He gave me a sad look, “Draco.. I’m so sorry. We were searching for Dolohov and I could’ve sworn I had my eye on her! But.. all of the sudden she was gone, and then we heard fighting coming from the woods. When we ran in there she had already been hit by a curse, and she was sent flying into a tree. I think she might’ve hit her head on it, i’m not really sure.” Harry said.

“Dolohov? Oh merlin. I’ll kill him.” I said with my teeth gritted and a tear slipping from my right eye. I turned away from Harry to help the other healers take you to a trauma room but that’s when my boss stopped me.

“Healer Malfoy, you must not work on family. I know you want to, but I can’t let you. Please, just go wait for now and I will update you as soon as I can.” he said to me with sad eyes as he put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and walked away to go change out of my scrubs.

I had been sitting in the healers lounge for what felt like hours now. I was worried sick. All I could think about is what if she doesn’t make it? How am I going to live without her? I gazed up at the clock to realize I had actually been sitting here for 4 hours now. It was getting late, and merlin am I tired. I tried to fight the sleep but I just couldn’t, my body eventually giving in.

I was quickly woken by my boss shaking my shoulders, “Draco... Draco, Oh good! Since your awake you may go see her now.” he said while looking down at me.

“Oh merlin she’s ok! Thank you, oh thank you so much! Is she awake??” I said while i jumped to my feet.

His eyes turned soft. “Malfoy listen, she suffered major head trauma from the fall. She’s going to be ok, but we aren’t sure how long she will be out for. Everyone’s body heals differently, you understand?” he said to me and I nodded while he gestured to what room she was in.

I walked in the bright room to see her unconscious laying there. Her right arm was in a sling, she had a white bandage wrapped around the top of her head, and a few fading scars lining her legs. She looked so peaceful, yet so broken. I walked a bit closer and took in her state for a couple of seconds, a few tears slipping from my eyes. I could only hope she’d wake soon.

It’s been a few days now I think.. The nurses come in ever so often to check on her, and sometimes ask if i’m ok. I’m not. I haven’t been sleeping, I really don��t remember the last time I ate, and I think I might be wearing the same clothes as yesterday.. I won’t be ok until she is.

The moon was sitting over the horizon and shining through y/n’s hospital room. It was around 10 o’clock now, and I was becoming increasingly sleepier. I’ve had trouble letting myself fall asleep, scared I might miss something. Scared she might slip away from me. Scared to close my eyes and see her lying there all mangled up again. But I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing anymore... too tired.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes slowly opened to bright lights and white walls. Your head was pounding and you weren’t exactly sure how you got here. The last thing you can recall is running through the woods.. Your eyes shifted to him, sitting next to your bed in a grey armchair sound asleep. You noticed his gorgeous blonde hair all messed up, the bags under his eyes, what looked like a two day old outfit, and his hand grasped tightly to your own.

You squeezed his hand a little bit, “Draco.. Hey love wake up.” you whispered.

His eyes shot open faster than you could blink, “Y/n!! Oh darling, it’s so good to hear your voice!” Draco said while grabbing your face in his hands, a sob escaping his lips.

You pulled him into your chest, “Hey... don’t cry. I’m ok, see? I’m right here.” you said while rubbing his back.

He looked up at you with glossy eyes, “I was really scared y/n. You have no idea what it felt like to see you so hurt, and then have to just wait and see if you’d come back to me..” he said whispering the last part.

You now grabbed his face and pulled him into a long, and much needed kiss. The two of your lips moving in sync with one another. Needing to catch your breath you pulled away and stared into his sky blue eyes.

“How long was I out Dray, and wh-what happened out there?” you asked while he made himself comfortable next to you.

You laid your head in the crook of his neck, and he looked down at you to speak. “About 5 days.. the longest 5 days possible. I don’t know if you remember but you were with Harry searching for Dolohov. He said you ran off after him on your own, and when they found you he had already cursed you. You hit your head, and seemed to have broken your arm in the fall..” Draco told you.

You nodded starting to remember why you were running through the woods in the first place. You looked up at Draco and asked, “Can we please go home now?” and his eyes softened looking into your own.

“Of course darling.” he replied delicately kissing your forehead.

Draco opened the doors to your large home and guided you in. Your head injury still had you a little wobbly on your feet so he made you let him carry you up the stairs.

You were a giggling mess when he sat you down on the bed. You didn’t notice you had been staring at him as he put your things away and got you out comfy pajamas.

“Yes my dear?” he asked while turning around to face you and handing you one of his t-shirt’s.

“Nothing, I just love you!” you said with a big smile on your face while slipping on the shirt.

Draco walked over to you and leant down in between your knees, “And I love you more. I don’t know how I existed these past couple of days without you. You can’t ever leave you know that right?” he said while looking up into your eyes with pure love.

You grazed your hand over his cheek and pressed your lips to his, “Of course my love.” you said as you pulled away from the kiss and smiled at him.

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regretthatsme · 3 years

Text

The Doe - Harry Potter x fem!reader

A/n: Harry's second child is named Arthur Remus in this. Albus Severus is a god awful name about two god awful people.

Harry was quickly running to the seventh floor. He was running late for class.

You see, Harry was a teacher. An illegal one, maybe. But, a teacher nonetheless. He was certainly a better teacher than toad-face.

Today, Harry was going to teach a very important lesson. Today was the day where the students would learn expecto-patronum.

He was watching the students file into the Room of Requirements. The excited chatter of teenagers filled the empty room.

"Alright. Alright!" Said Harry, immediately silencing any conversation. "Today, we will be learning the patronus charm. It is one of the most difficult spells to learn, so don't be discouraged if you don't get it on your first try."

Harry did the demonstration of the spell, a bright white stag erupting from the end of his wand.

"Think of your happiest memory. Allow it to fill you up." He said while circling around the room. "A full body patronus is the most difficult to produce."

He was getting lost in the magic and pure joy that echoed across the room, and that's when he saw it.

A glittering silver doe standing right in front of him. Some students stopped to stare at the marvel aswell. Harry's patronus seemed to notice, and it began to walk towards the doe. The stag bowed his head. The doe reciprocated, only to scamper off seconds later with the stag following suit.

Harry stood in awe for a few moments. He tried to think back to his teachings, but his mind kept going back to that damn doe.

And that one class became two. Then three. Then the week.

One month.

It's been one month. And that's when he told Ron.

"I don't know, Ron. I can't stop thinking about it. It keeps coming back. And I tried to ignore it, but then it comes back stronger than ever before." Harry expressed to his friend.

"I don't know what to tell you mate." Said Ron as he bit into a chocolate frog.

"I know... it's just... I feel... something."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! Just.... will I ever find her?"

Ron looked at his friend. Harry was hunched over with sullen eyes. He was deep in thought. He's serious, Ron thought.

"Cheer up, mate. I'm sure you will find her again."

Harry got up from his bed and started pacing. "What if I don't? I saw something incredible. Indescribable even... I found my soulmate, Ron!" Harry was almost shouting in frustration.

"Relax! It's not my fault. Stop screaming at me!" Ron told Harry. Harry began to take deep breaths and sat back on his mattress.

"I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never had someone to love, you know? I don't want them to slip away like everyone else."

"Hey, not everyone has slipped away. You still have me and Hermione!"

Harry chuckled. "Thank you for listening. I know it's weird to talk about sappy stuff with me."

"Hey. If you can't talk to your friend about your soulmate, what good are they?"

-*-*-*-

Harry prepared for the next lesson, this week focusing on protego. The library was quite empty, only a few second years and one other fifth year.

That fifth year in question is a certain Y/N L/N. She was.... wow. She was one of the most beautiful people in her year. Her H/C hair was so lush and thick and shined in the sun. It shined almost as much as her eyes, which captivated whoever looked into them.

But it's not just her looks that captured the hearts of many, it was also her mind. Her brilliant mind. She could answer any question in the blink of an eye. She could pass any test with flying colors. But, she was creative and oh so kind. More kind than anybody Harry had ever met. Just being in her presence was enough to brighten anyone's day.

Certainly enough to lighten mine, thought Harry.

"Hello, Harry." Y/N said. She had moved to sit across from him.

"U-um. Hello, Y/N." Harry studdard.

"Did you need me? You were looking at me so I thought you might need help."

"Oh. Um-no. It's nothing. Don't worry."

"Well, alright. Just out of curiosity, what are you researching."

Harry looked down to his roll of parchment. "Protego. I'm going to teach it next class."

"That good. It's important to be able to protect yourself. Be sure to discuss protego maxima. It protects against even stronger spells. Seems quite important for an 'army'."

"Of course. Thank you for the recommendation"

Y/N leaned closer to Harry till her lips brushed against his ear. "I'm very excited about our next class." She pulled away, winked, and walked away.

Harry's heart couldn't stop beating. He was panting, yet felt like he couldn't breath. No. No. No. No. I have a soulmate. I can't fall in love with someone else, thought Harry.

-*-*-*-

Harry wondered aimlessly down the corridors under his invisibility cloak. The night was peaceful. Just him and his thoughts, no interruptions. Until he heard a choked sob. It sounded like it came from a first year. What did the toad do the poor first year.

He rounded the corner to see Y/N comforting a young Slytherin girl. "I know. I know, Amelia." The Slytherin was still sobbing hard as ever, no matter how much consolidation she recieved. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"No. Just be here. Just hug me." Said Amelia. Harry could see a tear trickle down Y/N's face.

"You want to see something cool?" Amelia nodded, though it seemed a bit reluctant. "I'm going to cast a spell. Are you ready?" Amelia nodded again, much more vigorously.

"Expecto Patronum."

And there it was.

That damn doe.

That damn doe that haunted him since the day he saw it.

That damn doe that made him rethink so many choices.

That goddamn doe... the love of his life.

He knew that he probably shouldn't do it. He knew that he could be caught if he were to. But, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't fucking help himself.

"Expecto Patronum." Harry whispered.

A stag erupted out of the top of the wand. It immediately ran towards the doe, almost as if he missed her. The stag pranced around both Y/N and doe before bowing down. Just like in the Room of Requirements.

"Can I touch it?" asked Amelia.

"I don't see why not."

She reached up to touch the deer. As soon as she did, Amelia started giggling. Y/N did as well. It felt like pure happiness.

They backed away, and the doe took their place. She bowed down as well. They raised their heads and look into each other's eyes. They kept eye contact as they stepped closer together. Until they came together.

Before long, the deers disappeared.

"I can go back, now." Said Amelia.

"Do you want me to bring you back?" Asked Y/N.

"No thank you." Amelia made her way down the hall. Y/N waited until she couldn't hear the patter of feet.

"Harry. I know you're there. Harry! Where are you?"

Harry took off his cloak before spewing out apologies, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or if I messed up. I couldn't help myself. I should have stopped myself. I knew this was - mmmph!" His rant was cut off by a pair of lips on his.

"Harry, there is nothing to apologize for!" Y/N giggled. Merlin, it sound like music. Harry couldn't help but laugh with her.

"So...."

"You're my soulmate then, Y/N?"

"If you would like to call me that, I suppose."

"I would if that's alright with you." Harry places his face in the crook of her neck. Y/N could feel the shit-eating grin on his face. "Would you like to go to Hogsmead on Sunday?"

"Sounds lovely."

-*-*-*-

"James! Wake up!" Y/N tried waking up her son. "Come on. It's your first day of school."

"No. Bed."

"James, if you don't get up, I'm confiscating your broom." Said the boy's mother. It's safe to say that he got ready alarmingly quickly.

Lovely, thought Y/N. She walked downstairs to her two other children eating breakfast. "Good morning, Lily. Good morning, Arthur." She finished each greeting with a kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning, mum!" Said Lily. She was bouncing up and down with excitement, even if she wasn't going to Hogwarts just yet. Arthur stayed silent, however.

"Arthur? You okay? It's your first day at Hogwarts! You should be excited." Said his mother.

"I know. I'm just... nervous." He said, a frown made it's way onto his lips.

"Darling!" Y/N's husband clambered into the room and placed a quick peck to her cheek. He turned to face Arthur. "How are doing? Are you excited?"

"Yes." Arthur faked a smile for the sake of his father.

"Oh gosh! Look at the time! We have to get going or we'll be late!" Said Y/N as she frantically collected her family's belongings.

-*-*-*-

"Dad, what if I am put into Slytherin?" Asked Arthur, about to board the train.

"Arthur Remus Potter. Slytherin isn't a bad house. In fact, it is quite extraordinary. Your mother was almost put in Slytherin for how determined and cunning she was! It would be an honor to have you be in Slytherin. Just as much of an honor as if you would be in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw. We will love you no matter what."

Arthur hugged his father so tightly as tears leaked from his eyes. "I-I don't w-want to l-leave you, Dad. I don't want to leave Mum, either. Or Lily."

Harry pulled back and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I know. But, before you know it, you'll be back home and you'll be sick of us all over again." Harry laughed. He had to laugh. If he didn't, he would cry too.

Satisfied with that response, Arthur left his father's embrace and walked over to his mother, who was watching the whole time.

"I love you so much. I love you to the moon and back." She said, giving one last hug to her children before they boarded the train. They grow up too fast.

"I'll write every day." Said Arthur, waving from his compartment on the train.

"Write us when you get settled in! And be sure to tell what house you are in!" Shouted Harry. The train started to ride away. Harry looked at his children then to his wife. He was and will be forever grateful for the woman standing beside him, who gave him a family, who gave him so much.

And to think it all happened because of a damn doe.

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x ravenclaw!reader #harry james potter #harry potter x you

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hela-avenger · 4 years

Text

To the Stars Who Listen- Part 6

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1790

Summary: When Loki desires to never fall in love, he casts a spell to prevent such a thing from happening. Except, well, in the matters of love and magic, you never know the result it may have in the end. Loki x Reader

A/N: Oh this one was fun to write. Please do enjoy the chaos of this part! Tags are open! (Send me an ask/message/response.)

TTSWL Masterlist

You walk into the kitchen quickly gravitating to the freshly brewed coffee pot. You’re not the only one awake in the early morning as Bucky and Sam are bickering from their seats on the counter.

“I didn’t fall asleep,” Sam exclaims. “You did!”

“No, I didn’t,” Bucky scoffs. “I was awake from the start to the very end. You’re the one who can’t hang after your early bedtime.”

“You want to come after my bedtime?” Sam repeats. “At least I get the recommended eight hours of sleep every night. I'm a healthy individual. What do you do? You stay up all night doing God knows what and sleep in all day. You got bags under your eyes, old man!”

Your chuckle breaks the tension in the room as you settle across from them.

“Are you two… sleeping together?” you ask.

“Me and him,” Bucky answers as he points at himself and Sam. “He wishes.”

Sam looks offended.

“I’m so way out of your league and besides, you’re not my type.”

“I’m everybody’s type,” Bucky argues.

You roll your eyes at them wondering how you managed to end one argument just to ignite another one.

“Guys,” you exclaim, capturing their attention immediately. “If you’re not dating, then why are you arguing about who fell asleep first?”

Sam and Bucky share a look and you knew the answer would not be to your liking.

“Tell me.”

“We were just keeping an eye out for you, doll,” Bucky answers. “Loki knew what he was doing when he chose the room right in front of yours. Sam and I thought it would be for the best to station ourselves in your hallway throughout the night to make sure he doesn’t pull anything.”

“Yeah, but then I fell asleep on my shift,” Sam sighs. “So we lost surveillance for the rest of the night.”

“Ha! You admit it then!” Bucky exclaims. “It was your fault!”

“Oh, come on,” Sam scoffs. “You should have had an alarm ready to take over for your shift. What’s your excuse for not waking me up?”

“Well, I snoozed my alarm,” Bucky confesses with a shrug. “I expected you to come over to wake me up but you didn’t.”

“So what I’m hearing is that it’s both of your faults…”

“Yes,” both answer.

“...And that you guys invaded not only Loki’s privacy but my own for stalking my hallway the entire night...”

“Yes.”

“...And not only did you fail in your appointed surveillance job but you have also now severely pissed me off,” you conclude enjoying the alarmed look falling upon both of their faces. You take a sip of your coffee and hum. “I hope you know payback’s coming.”

They continue to stare at you with mouths gaped open.

“I know I should be afraid but I find myself very attracted to you right now.”

“Same.”

You stare at Bucky and Sam in surprise.

“Did you guys mean to say that out loud?”

Bucky scowls before you find his face turning alarmingly red.

“I mean you’re hot when you’re mad and threatening and in charge...”

“I think what Bucky is trying to say is that we have a thing for women in power and why did I just tell you that,” Sam stammers out. “I… Wait, are you doing your thing? Your confession thing? Oh, you are! You sneaky…”

You frown when you realize that you were indeed doing it again. You were in control of this power inside of you but you didn’t know how to make it stop. Part of you wondered if you even wanted to.

“I gotta go,” you interrupt as you set your mug down. “I gotta go now.”

You don’t wait to hear their responses as you run out of the kitchen. You just wanted to make your way into your room and figure it out yourself but luck was never on your side seeing as a cheerful Wanda appeared around the corner.

“Good morning,” Wanda greets. “Do you wanna hear a secret? Vision and I have been secretly seeing each other. No one knows!”

You can’t hide the shock on your face and neither can Wanda as her smile drops.

“Why did I just tell you that?”

You don’t offer a response as you sprint out of the hallway hoping to just reach the privacy of your room. It doesn’t surprise you when you run into somebody else but you are relieved at the face you find.

“Loki,” you sigh. “Good, great… Let’s go.”

You take a hold of his wrist and start to lead him out of the building and away from the facility overall. You stray from the paved path and start descending down a random hill. Loki waits for his monitor to go off but nothing occurs.

“Where are you taking me, little mortal?” Loki finally asks. “Why are we so far out?”

“I can’t shut it off,” you exclaim as you let him go. “I was just having breakfast with my friends when they started to confess things to me. I didn’t even realize it until they were spewing things I didn’t need to know. I’m not manic like I usually am. I am in full control here and I don’t know how to turn it off.”

Your chest suddenly feels tight and you can’t take a deep breath.

“Can I even turn it off? Am I stuck this way?” you ask as your vision begins to fade out. “Oh… Oh I don’t feel so good. My heart should not be beating this fast and I feel really hot. I feel like I’m going to…”

Loki is quick to grab you as he notices your imbalance. He helps settle you down onto the ground and advises you to breathe.

You do but it doesn’t ease you at all.

Loki didn’t have to touch you to feel the power radiating from your body. Once again it had alarmingly grown overnight to the point that it was no longer being held into your body but around it like a protective cloud.

“Don’t panic.”

You glare at him in response seeing as you were currently in a state of panic.

“Well… don’t panic more than you already are,” Loki corrects. “But your power has grown once again and seeing as you are in control then we must resort to other methods in how you deal with this excess power.”

Loki waves his hands in a circular motion and a pair of golden gauntlets appear out of thin air.

“These should help,” Loki states as he kneels down in front of you. He takes your hand and slips one on before doing the same with the other. “Just don’t take them off.”

You inspect the gauntlets that you were now sporting. The metal was cool against your skin and laid heavy around your wrists. A light stone rested on your palms and you watched as it shifted colors.

“What are these?” you ask him.

“Siphons,” he answers. “The stones embedded on the palm of your hands come from Alfheim. They store and help young seidr-wielders to manipulate magic more precisely. I used similar ones when I was younger until I grew into my powers.”

“But I won’t have that same luxury, will I?”

“No, no you will not,” Loki answers. “You will have to wear these for the rest of your life and expel the collected power over time. If you go too long without doing so the stones will become overpowered and break which wouldn’t go well for you.”

“I end up dying, right?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, great,” you mutter. “How do I do that? Expel power?”

Loki tries to find the words to explain but finds himself at a loss. He can’t help but think back to how his mother had given him his own siphons when his power started to affect everyone around him.

“Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and focus. Conjure up your intention and then trust your magic to make it real.”

Loki uses those same words with you and watches how you follow his instructions with more ease than he had all those years ago.

A bright light flashes from your hands shooting into the wooded area nearby. Two tree branches crash to the ground and you flinch at the sight of them.

“Ok that’s kind of scary,” you comment as you look down at the gauntlets. “Was that normal?”

“In a way…” Loki mumbles realizing the alarming power that you held in the literal palms of your hands. “Like I said, you’re stronger than I presumed you would be.”

“Great, that’s great,” you mumble. “Now I know how Tony feels with his thrusters.”

You look down at the palm of your hands noticing the siphons lighting up once more.

“They’re up and running again.”

“As I’ve said before, you’ve been bestowed a great power.”

You can’t help but pause and think over your entire interaction with him.

“A power that you seem immune to,” you point out as you turn to look at him. “The others… they confessed things without prompting. You didn’t. Why?”

“We’ll both be immune to each other in one way or another,” Loki explains. “I can never lie to you since you’ll be able to tell. Of course this means that you won’t be able to lie to me because that is my area of expertise and I’ll know.”

“But why?”

“Because balance,” Loki repeats. “You and I are two sides of the same necessary coin. We are the light and the dark, the sun and the moon, the good and the bad... ”

“Right, the truth and the lies,” you sigh but something still didn’t fit in his explanation. “Why does it feel like you’re not telling me everything?”

Loki is surprised that you have caught on to him quickly. You were adapting fast to your new power. Trusting it instinctively and so naturally as if you already accepted it as a part of you.

He can’t help but stammer out in surprise.

“There are loopholes,” Loki answers honestly. “Manners in which I can evade the truth without speaking dishonestly.”

You narrow your eyes at him.

“You could certainly work around that though as you did now. I’m sure with some training you could manage to catch on to the evasions quicker.”

“Are you going to train me in that?” you ask. “Or are you going to keep those secrets to yourself?”

Loki can’t help but chuckle.

You were bold and unafraid of him. Not many of the new agents had that same courage nor the strength to be fighting alongside Midgard’s merry band of heroes. You were one of a kind.

“We shall see,” he answers. “For now, let’s focus on the siphons. Become familiar with them, get used to the feel of them, and most importantly, learn to aim.”

TTSWL Tag: @catsladen @is-it-madness @manyfandoms-marvel @mejusttryintogetby @illogicalfangirl @ariel-snow-tmnt @islinglivesinshire @musicconversedance @missmadwoman @smaranshakthi @adaydreamingdragon @poetic-fiasco @like-a-wildfire @jasminecalia @ha-tep @charbokbok @setsuna-meiou31 @ms-blvck @country-cowgirl-101 @bepo-is-sorry @hufflautia @waitforthehurricanrose @fictionalhoomanofnowhere @sanniegirl1214

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-nightshade @aoirohi @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @just-a-donut-who-reads @day-dreaming-fox

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie @ariel-snow-tmnt @badhollandfluff @what-a-flammable-heart

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icharchivist · 3 years

Text

A3 x Sleeping at Last

I have a fondness for the musician Sleeping at Last and i decided to have fun associating at least one of his song per A3 Characters. Under the cut are songs as well as some highlight lyrics to justify my choice. Some of them i feel more strongly than others so anyone with a comment is welcomed as well.

Thus here i go:

& Spotify playlist of all those songs in order if you want to go through it

Mankai Company : North

We will call this place our home, The dirt in which our roots may grow. Though the storms will push and pull, We will call this place our home. We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Every year, measure how tall. And just like a work of art, We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind. Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide. Settle our bones like wood over time, over time. Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine.

Spring Troupe: From The Ground Up

It took me 27 years to wrap my head around this- To brush the ashes off of everything i love. Where courage was contagious, confidence was key. Right as rain, soft as snow, It grows and grows and grows, Our home sweet home.

We'll try to document this light, With cameras to our eyes, In an effort to remember What being mended feels like.

We're home sweet home.

Sakuya Sakuma : The Projectionist

When I was young I fell in love with story, With the eleventh hour, with the blaze of glory.

When hands are tied and clocks are ticking An audience convinced, we're leaning in, holding our breath again Just when we thought the game was over The music lifts and our dying soldier lives And we breathe a sigh of relief The theater lights dim and all goes quiet. In the darkest of rooms, light shines the brightest.

We’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now. We’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now. But even dust was made to settle And if we’re made of dust, then what makes us any different? I guess we give what we’ve been given: A family tree so very good at giving up When we’ve had enough. Though truth is heavier than fiction, Gravity lifts as the projectionist rolls tape. And it makes us brave again

Masumi Usui : Venus

At first I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation: You’re as beautiful as endless, You’re the universe I’m helpless in. An astronomer at my best When I throw away the measurements.

I was a billion little pieces 'til you pulled me into focus. Astronomy in reverse, It was me who was discovered.

Tsuzuru Minagi : Page 28

Have you read the script? Could you picture it? ... is it worth the risk?

Here in the second act I'm living in repair. Strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear. And there, on page 28, I'm so tired of drying glue, I begin my grand attempt at building something new. Though I tend to write the epiphany more immediately, I guess I'm trusting that there's such a thing as elegance in dissonance. God, I'm skeptical of pulling scenes. Was it something that I said? was it something that I did? Please don't get me wrong - I still need your help As history repeats itself Here in the aftermath, I'm pulling at the seams. Strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine. And there, on page 29, I find “new” and make it mine. But I can't help casting shadows on all I leave behind. Maybe I could afford to change a bit... Even let go of the reigns? Every torn out page was worth the risk Now that the stakes have been raised. So here in the final draft, I've given all I have. Strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan. There's nothing left on the page, but I'm okay with that, For I found my resolution Was designed for stronger hands.

or Body

There's magic in our bones, A north star in our soul That remembers our way home. There's magic in our bones. No, I don't have a script for this. But I know the right words exist Somewhere, And I just need more time. I know, I know, I'm asking for the moon, But I must listen to intuition Believe me, I only want what's right.

Itaru Chigasaki : Pluto

I woke up from the same dream: Falling backwards, falling backwards ’Til it turned me inside out. Now I live a waking life Of looking backwards, looking backwards; A model citizen of doubt. Until one day I had enough Of this exercise of trust. I leaned in and let it hurt, And let my body feel the dirt. When I break pattern, I break ground. I rebuild when I break down. I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before. Still I’m pinned under the weight Of what I believed would keep me safe. So show me where my armor ends, Show me where my skin begins. Like a final puzzle piece It all makes perfect sense to me… The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity. The heaviness that I hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

Or East

I set out to rule the world With only a paper shield and a wooden sword. No mountain dare stand in my way, Even the oceans tremble in my wake. The tide is brave, but always retreats. Even the sand, it cowers under my feet. My kingdom towers above it all, While I sleep safe and sound in my cardboard walls. Now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was. I bear little resemblance to the king I could become. Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids- Lord, I want to remember how to feel like I did. So I draw my sword with the morning sun, I summon the moon as soon as the day is done. The clouds march on, on my command. Even the rain, it falls according to plan. The trees bow down and give their leaves. I humbly accept their offerings of peace. The years wore on and changed my heart, The leading role for a smaller part.

Citron : Noble Aim

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light but we wait, Like evening for night, Don't we? Chances are we are alike, against what better judgement writes We ache, like children for love For a purpose worthy of such a noble aim as love.

Chances are we bruise the same; a family tree desperate for rain. A thirst only deserts know best. a hurt so at home in our chests. Call it stubbornness or bravery, To let our branches continue to reach, With such a noble aim, With such a noble aim as love. Every broken branch and loosened leaf that we've grown to ignore, Is now a part of something greater than before. Every nest that rests upon our limbs, Seeking shelter from the storms, Is a purpose worth being broken for.

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light, We reach with all of our might For such a noble aim as love

Chikage Utsuki : Neptune

Pitch black, pale blue, It was a stained glass Variation of the truth, And I felt empty handed. You let me set sail with cheap wood. So I patched up every leak that I could, 'Til the blame grew too heavy.

Stitch by stitch I tear apart, If brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy Thread by thread I come apart If brokenness is a work of art, Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks, when I open my mouth I wanna tell you but I don't know how

I'm only honest when it rains An open book, with a torn out page, and my inks run out I want to love you but i don’t know how...

Or South

Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice. Some truths are sharper than knives. Some truths we only see in the corners of our eyes. Some truths we wish we could hide. Some truths can save us, Some take our lives. Some truths are fire and some truths are ice. No matter what category you fit into, Truth’s got its sight set on you. If truth is north, then I am true south. I can’t figure it out- God knows. Always looking up 'Til my eyes give up. That’s how I lost touch of who I am and who I was.

Summer Troupe : Joy

The clumsy start of adolescence, The glue that mends our broken remnants, An overwhelming sense of reverence, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. A silver lining spilling over, The rumor of buried treasure, The starting line of an adventure, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's an afterglow, it's an echo Still ringing out in spite of me. It's the faint outline of the divine In the hiding place of my periphery. So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe. I can breathe. The countless stars we're sleeping under, It's the brightest sparks that we remember. When our eyes are closed, we still see embers, A glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold.

Tenma Sumeragi : Three

Maybe I've done enough, and your golden child grew up Maybe this trophy isn't real love, And with or without it I'm good enough Maybe I've done enough, Finally catching up For the first time I see an image of my brokeness Utterly worthy of love

And I finally see myself, Through the eyes of no one else. It's so exhausting on this silver screen Where I play the role of anyone but me. I finally see myself, Unabridged and overwhelmed, A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell, But I'm slowly learning how to break this spell. And I finally see myself. Now I only want what's real, to let my heart feel what it feels. Gold, silver or bronze hold no value here, Where work and rest are equally revered. I only want what's real, I set aside the highlight reel, And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk; Worthy of love anyway.

Yuki Rurikawa : Hope

There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other Like the light of countless stars We are not afraid of the dark 'Cause there is hope in our hearts And every single beat, we feel it To the ends of the earth, our echo carries on We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our voice when we listen to each other Barriers disappeared with every story told We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our eyes, When we truly see each other We raise our flag, lift our voice This is our moment, We are sacred, we are strong This is our moment, We are beautiful, we belong This is our moment, We are worthy, we are true This is our moment, There are no borders from this view Please help us raise our flag There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other

Muku Sakisaka : Daughter

I want to see your happily ever after, That you know in your heart that you matter, That you are royalty. This is your kingdom, This is your crown, This is your story. This is your moment, Don’t look down.

You’re ready. born ready, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. Our ceiling is your floor, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. If only you knew

Misumi Ikaruga : Seven

How nice it'd be if we could try everything? I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin What about danger? So what, what about risk? Let's climb the mountain before we cross that bridge! 'Cause I'm restless, For whatever comes next

How wonderful to see a smile on your face It costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade A secret handshake between me and my one life: I'll find the silver lining no matter what the price 'Cause I'm hungry, For whatever comes next Let me tell you another secret of the trade- It feels like sinking when I'm standing in one place So I look to the future and I book another flight When everything feels heavy, I've learned to travel light But I want to be here, Truly be here To watch the ones that I love bloom And I want to make room To love them through and through and through And through the slow and barren seasons too

I feel hope deep in my bones... And tomorrow will be beautiful.

Kazunari Miyoshi : Nine

Who am I to say what any of this means? I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps Honestly, it's easier to let myself forget

Still, I check my vital signs, Choked up, I realize I've been less than half myself for more than half my life

It looks like empathy to understand all sides But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?

A little at a time I feel more alive I let the scale tip and feel all of it It's uncomfortable but right We were born to try, to see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do

Kumon Hyodo : Intermission

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. My mind is full but I can't speak. Among the dust of the hard-to-reach, I'm stuck Right here, somewhere between side a and side b. I could call it compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize for the race I never finished. I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

I'm here, somewhere between victory and a white flag. Caught in this purgatory dream, I'm stuck. But I want to set the record straight, I want to retrace my every step. If I could just rewind all the tapes, Then maybe I'd find my loose thread. Call it a compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize, so close, but never finished. I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

Pluto works for him too

Autumn Troupe : The Sea of Atlas

We once felt safe, like no cure was needed. Our vocabularies had no room for “defeated,” But we grew up quick and became connoisseurs of it. There's a fine line, a fine line in between Our progress and our instability. We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. A design flaw? or the olive branch that proves the shore- The catalyst we've waited for.

Banri Settsu : One

Hold on for a minute, 'Cause I believe that we can fix this over time That every imperfection is a lie, Or at least an interruption Now hold on, let me finish, No, I'm not saying perfect exists in this life But we'll only know for certain if we try

The list goes on forever of all the ways I could be better in my mind As if I could earn God's favor given time Or at least congratulations Now I have learned my lesson The price of this so-called perfection is everything I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out grace requires nothing of me I... I wanna sing a song worth singing I'll write an anthem worth repeating I... I wanna feel the transformation A melody of reformation I hold it all more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly 'Cause I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out that grace requires nothing Grace requires nothing of me

Juza Hyodo : Taste

I am alive, I am awake. I am aware of what light tastes like. The curtains drawn, the table's set, I wanna be, I wanna be, at my best.

I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface.

Out of the woods, out of the dark. I’m well aware of the shadows in my heart. I wanna feel, tectonic shifts; I wanna be, I wanna be, astonished. I wanna be astonished. So I propose a toast: To fists unraveling, to glass unshattering. To breaking all the rules, to breaking bread again. We’re swallowing light, we’re swallowing our pride. We’re raising our glass, ’til we’re fixed from the inside. 'Til we're fixed from the inside. We're nothing less than a work in progress. Sacred text on Post-It notes. We only speak of a world in pieces. Let's make a map of what matters most: Where every fracture is a running river. Leading us back to our golden coast.

OR Mercury

No one can unring this bell Unsound this alarm, unbreak my heart new God knows, I am dissonance Waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune

I know the further I go The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed And somehow I’ve fallen in love With this middle ground at the cost of my soul Yet I know, if I stepped aside Released the controls, you would open my eyes That somehow, all of this mess Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life

Made of precious metals, precious metal inside

Taichi Nanao: Sadness

It feels like falling, It feels like rain, Like losing my balance, Again and again It once was so easy, Breathe in, breathe out But at the foot of this mountain I only see clouds

I feel out of focus, or at least indisposed As this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold Each brave step forward I take three steps behind It's mind over matter, Matter over mind

Slowly, then all at once, A single loose thread And it all comes undone

Where there is light a shadow appears The cause and effect when life interferes The same rule applies to goodness and grief For in our great sorrow We learn what joy means

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it But I will learn to fight, I will learn to fight 'Til this pendulum finds equilibrium

Slowly, then all at once, The dark clouds depart And the damage is done, So pardon the dust While this all settles in, With a broken heart Transformation begins

or Bright and Early

The sun comes pouring in. Filling glasses up with diamonds, Stirring where I've been But it's all trigger and effect. Dominoes at their best. In the end I'm told, It taught me everything I know. That the wreckage left behind, will somehow make me grow.

In the end I'm told It taught me everything I know. But when the fire took our home, I lost part of my soul. From the ground up I'll keep building houses into homes. 'cause if trust is ribbon, Then patience ties it in a perfect bow.

Omi Fushimi : Aperture

Happiness is somewhere I have been before- A blurry photograph that I have since ignored. I'll carefully adjust the aperture once more, Until I set the record straight. I'll brush aside the dim, make room for the bright. I'll be an editor, no, a curator of light. I'll let my better angels always set me right, Until I even out the score. Until I even out the score. God, it has been quite a year- I've lived a little bit and I've died a little more. I know that I've asked it before, But please let the scale tip here in my favor. What was once the sweetest melody I've heard Is now a memory reduced to little words. I'll tune the orchestra and play the overture, Until I pinpoint every note. Give me the heart of an archeologist, That I may dig until I prove that I exist. A subterranean cathedral in my midst, Where echos come to rest.

Sakyo Furuichi : Touch

When will I feel this as vivid as it truly is, Fall in love in a single touch, and fall apart when it hurts too much? Can we skip past near-death clichés Where my heart restarts, as my life replays? All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed.

Invisible machinery, These moving parts inside of me Well, they’ve been shutting down for quite some time, Leaving only rust behind. Well I know, I know - the sirens sound Just before the walls come down. Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can, But God I want to feel again, Oh God I want to feel again.

Rain or shine, I don’t feel a thing, just some information upon my skin. I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed, The barometric pressure we always blamed. All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed. Down my arms, a thousand satellites Suddenly discover signs of life.

Azami Izumida : Anger

Like wildfire, it starts in my chest The silence grows louder, ringing out in my head

I feel the Earth shaking under my feet I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe And it takes everything

And it all spills out, reckless but honest words leave my mouth Like kerosene on a flame of doubt, I couldn't make it right

Alarms will sound, but it's too late for holy water now Sooner or later the fire dies down, I'll open up my eyes

And I'll try and find the image of God In mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke It's fight or flight, buried in my mind, It's fight or flight It keeps my mind cold

But I feel it break, With just one misstep down a fire escape And suddenly I'm someone that prays, a last minute man of faith But I'll leave behind miles and miles of jagged lines Upon the surface of the Divine, I wish I could set them straight

Say

they impose the endless fight to always be perfect it seems they have been chosen to be above the rest

but the contradiction stands between these perfect lives and the words that they've misread there was no reading say all the things that you really want to say the truest of forms will show finally you'll find your soul

Bonus: Sakyo & Azami: Uneven Odds

I once knew your father well He fought tears as he spoke of your mother’s health I guess a part of him just couldn’t return Forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn As your guardian I was instructed well To make sense of God’s love in these fires of hell No I don’t expect you to understand Just to live what little life your broken heart can Maybe your light is a seed And the darkness the dirt In spite of the uneven odds Beauty lifts from the earth As the years move on these questions take shape Are you getting stronger or is time shifting weight? No one expects you to understand Just to live what little life your mended heart can You’ll always remember the moment God took her away For the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders that day You’re much too young now so I write these words down, “Darkness exists to make light truly count.”

& Heirloom

You try your hardest to leave the past alone. This crooked posture is all you’ve ever known. It is the consequence of living in between The weight of family and the pull of gravity. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become. Long before you were born there was light Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes. A million choices, though little on their own, Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become,

You pressed rewind for the thousandth time When the tapes wore through. So you memorized those unscripted lines, Desperate for some kind of clue:

When the scale tipped, when you inherited, A fight that you were born to lose. It’s not your fault, No, it’s not your fault, I put this heavy heart in you.

You remind me of who I could have been, Had I been stronger and braver way back then. A million choices, though little on their own, Became the heirloom of the heaviness we’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than the wars you’ve won. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become.

Winter Troupe : Homesick

Our resignation only comes on beaten paths When the world was flat we dreamt of its edges If love's elastic, then were we born to test it's reach? Is it buried treasure or just a single puzzle piece? It's poison ivy beneath our brave and trusting feet All revelations come to us in recovery Cry wolf, cry mercy, Cry the name of the one you were raised to believe Cry heart, cry yourself to sleep, Cry a storm of tears if it helps you breathe It helps you, if it helps you breathe

Or Hourglass

We're taking turns at shattering apart. At least we're taking turns. How did we get so good at dismantling these hearts? How did we ever get so good? We dress our best to receive their sympathy. At our worst, we dress our best? “time heals all” According to these greeting cards. Oh how we'd rather time resets. If we could turn the hourglass, we would. If we could move a grain of sand, we would. If we could find our way back, we would.

Tsumugi Tsukioka : Clockwork

There is glass between our touch, phantom limbs of former love... and the truth is that I am so terrified that the callous is deeper than the surface of our skin. and it takes us twice as long, it takes us twice as long to heal. we'll lift up the ground to see the system of roots beneath. gears turn, endlessly, to bring the world back to life like clockwork, when it dies. the cadence of beating hearts, the click of its moving parts grows louder and louder from this restless earth... future gardens wait patiently below and somehow we smell them blossom through the snow.

still unsatisfied, we chase what we're denied. as generations wait, we can't resist the taste of possibility. gears turn, endlessly, to bring us back to life again. like clockwork, we begin.

Tasuku Takato : Porcelain

The door broke when you slammed it shut, and the cracks kept reaching long after you left. through the floorboards, branching towards the hall, like vines that never rest... climbing like fire through the walls. a single spark that claims the whole forest - I know, I know... it's all for the best. but honestly, I would rather be safe from a distance than here... when I fell to my knees to sew the damage shut, I couldn't believe... a bright, staggering light came flooding into me from out of the seams. so I reached deeper in and pulled my whole world wide open, and for each broken mile, a billion miracles happen at once in everything... in everything. but I'm safe from a distance, right here. everything I love was made of porcelain, ready to break. but the bright, staggering light, it anxiously waits inside. like nesting dolls, the secret hides. and like every birth, it was a necessary pain... I know, I know... it's all worth the wait, worth the weight.

or Accidental Lights

On your mark, get set... A million miles past the finish line My heels lift at this imaginary starting line. The trigger slips; My heart was racing well before it's time. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, As the road up ahead disappears. Though it's all been said, and this empty dictionary is all that's left, I'll try to change the world in a single word. My hands are shaking, ready or not. Invisible ink well it's all I've got. So I'll concentrate and pick from these barren trees. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I discover disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, some call it breathing. Have i said too much or not enough? Is it overkill or is it giving up, To measure out the distance of an echo's reach? If it's all broken mirrors and a chance roll of the dice, Then I'll risk everything for a glimpse of accidental light. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I've discovered disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, I call it breathing.

Hisoka Mikage : Smell

Is this the part when the brain scans show where memories reside? Some ambiguous shape in me suddenly producing light Triggered like a tripwire, every time I breathe it in Isn't it strange that a Lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been? Like a time machine rebuilds the past, our memories return Like remembering the ashes before we burn

It finishes against my will, the light goes out, my heart goes still And just like that, I believe in ghosts

Time and space are at my back, Performing disappearing acts Now I can escape the smell of smoke Research says that the only way to keep memories intact Is to lock 'em away and close the doors to countless years of past I guess that explains why the strangest things can conjure up the past And forgotten time will find its long way back

It doesn't matter, I just know I need more Cause I feel like I've been sleeping through the better part of this Laying dormant through an endless winter that doesn't even exist

It's gravity in an hourglass, responsible for the avalanche And the loudest silence that I've ever heard Memory clear as a bell, A story that I will try to tell Maybe this time without words

Homare Arisugawa : Four

Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure One day I'll wear it all on my sleeve The insignificant with the sacred unique But I've fallen in love with a ghost I lost my balance when I needed it most And this blurry photograph is proof Of what I'm not sure but it feels like truth I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here It's been forever since I came up for air Flashlight in hand determined to find Authenticity only poetry could even begin to try to describe

What if we already are who we've been dying to become In certain light I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence Hidden in you, Maybe even in me

or Son

Show me Who I am and who I could be Initiate the heart within me 'til it opens properly

Slow down Start again from the beginning I can't keep my head from spinning out of control Is this what being vulnerable feels like? And I will try, try, try to breathe 'til it turns to muscle memory I'm only steady on my knees One day I'll stand on my own two feet And I'll run the risk Of being intimate with brokenness Through this magnifying glass I see a thousand finger prints On the surfaces of who I am

Azuma Yukishiro : Two

Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat It's okay if you can't find the words, Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day, I will get around To fixing myself, too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow to be loved myself

Or Six

What would it feel like to put this baggage down? If I'm being honest I'm not sure I'd know how I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight And somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed But maybe I'm stronger than I realize I wanna believe - No, I choose to believe That I was made to become a sanctuary Fear won't go away but I can keep it at bay And these invisible walls just might keep us safe With a vigilant heart, I'll push into the dark And I'll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars Is that courage or faith to show up every day? To trust that there will be light, Always waiting behind even the darkest of nights

Guy : Mind

First, the ground rules get established: Memory is historically inaccurate. But repetition, repetition sings 'Til finally the melody is sacred, rooted, unchanged.

It overwhelms the nervous system, This fearful constant state of comparison. In our grey matter, all grey matters. An embarrassment of riches in our heads, We gravitate to black or white instead. We were designed to send mixed signals, One image made up of different pixels All subject to interpretation. 'Til binary systems, binary systems run And the vibrancy of everything becomes zeros and ones.

Patterns form and feel important, It's the first brush stroke of a self-portrait.

#'i'll slap relevent lyrics' *slaps 90% of the lyrics for some*#anyway i am posting it before i'm starting to doubt my picks but yeah #some i feel stronger about than others #aNYWAY #ichatalks about a3 #ichablogging music #a3 #a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!

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ohhmyheart5678 · 3 years

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When in the streets of seoul (7)

*warning* this mentions death, murder, suicide, guns, and other gruesome and dark content if you are sensitive to these kinds of things do not read the it

Pairing: Chan x female reader

Word count: 1.8k

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Chris and I talk at yongsan for hours. It was the most time I've ever spent with him, and I can honestly say that I began to see him in a new light.

Everything changed from that moment on. I don't know what it was about sitting four hours in your favorite park in the fall time which the orange leaves that had fallen around as time passed that opened us up, but whatever it did was magic.

Chris had told me about his childhood and how his father was also in a mafia so it was inevitable for him, but when it was time for him to take over he realized he wanted to start his own.

That's when he found Changbin and jisung two lost kids not having anywhere to go, he needed people to join and they were talented plus they had nowhere else to go and saying no to Chris pretty much is never a real option.

From there he just kept taking in boys that needed a home but that would benefit him in some way. In a way I found it sweet, did they have an option? Maybe not but at least he was giving them a home. I hated to say it but something in me agreed with it, and suddenly my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest.

Was it Stockholm syndrome? It had to be just more than that right?

He told me he had lost his mom in a war between his dad and another mafia. It was a hard time for him and that's when he realized hat whoever he ended up with, he was gonna protect them with his life and that there was no way he was gonna let what happened to his mother happen to them.

"What about you? Anything interesting about your parents?" he says leaning on the bench for support. I could tell that he was fully engaged and paying attention. Chris always payed attention to details, to everything. That was one of his biggest strengths was reading people but to him,I was the hardest person to read.

" Besides my dad being a detective that's been on your case?" I giggled, I mean that had to be interesting enough right? "Besides that smarty pants!" He scrunched his nosed a little at me."Remember when I told you that I like coming to this park a lot?" Of course he remembers it's the whole reason he brought me here, but I needed a way to start the conversation. Chris hummed as a way of telling me to keep talking. "Well my mom and I used to come here every Sunday and eat ice cream ever since I was a kid" the Aussie just nodded his head and waited for me to continue.

"A few months ago actually a month before my dad was set on your case my mom committed suicide" this was something I really didn't talk to with anyone and the fact that I was sharing it with him took a lot but I needed to get it off my chest.

"She jumped off of Lottie world tower which was weird because she was always so happy, at least I thought she was" Chris's face changed and suddenly the atmosphere turned really dark. "Was you're mother's name Autumn Grey?" He leaned closer almost as if he needed to make sure he because didn't want to miss the answer. "Y-yah! how'd you know?" Did he know something about my mother's death I didn't know? I'm sure he saw that a million questions was running in my head because he was very quick to respond.

"Oh, it was all over the news. I felt sorry for her family" He couldn't stand my gaze, now it was my turn to read Chris but turning off his any signs of emotions was as easy as breathing for him. "Anyways maybe we should get outta here" Chris shoots up from his spot. He holds a hand out for me to grab and I grab on to it to stand myself up.

We're walking in Korea at 10pm at night, the air is freezing cold. Walking down the street with the gold and orange leaves crunching beneath our feet besides that, Silence was the only thing between us and neither of us cared enough to break it. Until Chris finally decides to speak up.

"Kinely there something I wanted to ask" He caused us to stop and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. "What do you think of when you think of me?" The question took me by surprise. It wasn't a question I was prepared to answer yet.

How could I tell him when think about him I think about not only power and smarts, wittyness and charm, I thought about love and passion, commitment. I thought about how fast my heart beats when I even just look at him.

"I-I don't know" I stutter, looking at the ground. I couldn't even look at him not now, not when he looks as amazing as he does right at this very moment. The truth is when it came to Chris I always avoided his eyes because when I looked into them I could feel myself sinking in.

"I wanna know what goes inside your head" Christopher grabs my chin to make me look at him. Now I had no choice but to look him in the eyes.

"I need to know what goes on inside your head because I need to know how you feel about me. I can read everyone like a book but when it comes you I can't tell a thing and it drives me insane. I feel something with you kinely, it's like I'm a whole other person when I'm with you and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing but I wanna figure it out with you. I need to know if you feel same way I do about you" With every word he spoke Chris would inch closer and closer to my face. Soon there wasn't any space left , his lips grazed against mine and a shiver went down my spine.

He looked into my eyes for approval and me nodding was the only thing he needed before he sealed the final space between us.

My whole body went numb, I almost couldn't feel anything anymore at this point. The only thing I felt was my heart jumping out of my chest and just how soft and delicate the kiss was. It was almost as if he felt that he needed to handle me with care.

When he pulled away it felt as if he had casted a love spell on me. Why was I feeling this way? "I- um.. let's go home shall we?" Suddenly the confident Chan , leader of stray kids was no longer with me. It was Christopher just a shy ordinary guy who was now amongst us. We continued to walk home both of us grinning from ear to ear.

As soon we got home Chris walked me to my room. "Thank you Chris today was... different, in a good way" we both awkwardly laugh as I tuck a strand of curly hair behind my ear. "Goodnight kinely. I hope we have more nights like this in the future" he crosses his arms behind his back. I only nod in response "Goodnight Chris" I give him a wave before closing the door.

I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth. I put on my pajamas and head to bed. Tonight changed everything and little did I know that 'everything' was bigger than just my love life.

Waking up in the morning I sat there in bed to fully wake up. I look at the speaker and almost pushed the number on it when I realized I don't have wait for them anymore. I needed to figure out how to get to the kitchen even if it means getting lost but luckily on my way I ran into my favorite oranged haired boy.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Aussie in the world" I smiled at him and he happily returned it. "We both know Chan is your favorite Aussie " Felix playfully rolled his eyes at me. I assumed he had just woken up not too long ago as well due to the fact the his hair was all over the place and his voice was a little deeper and raspier than normal.

"Whatever! Hey can you point me in the direction where the food is?" I wiggle my eyebrows, Felix shook his head at me. "Just say the kitchen you weirdo" he walks down the hall and looks behind him once he realized that I wasn't following him.

"Are you coming? " Felix rubs his eyes with he back of his hands still trying to wake up all the way. "Right I totally was" he laughs at me knowing that I was lying but I then began to follow and he proceeded to lead me to the kitchen. Once we arrived there a few of the boys that were already there including Chris and Hyunjin.

Everyone was starring at me and Hyunjin looked slightly irritated about something. Changbin , Minho , and seugmin all had a weird grin on their face that I couldn't quite read. "Ow ya goin mate?" Chris greeted Felix bright and happy Felix just waved not really in the mood to talk at the moment. We both sit down at the table, me sitting next to Changbin and Felix next to seugmin. "Good morning babygirl" Chris greets and my eyes widen.

I wasn't used to him calling me that but I honestly didn't hate it. "Morning Chris" we both showed off our dimpled smile displaying it to eachother. "Morning guys" the boys greet me and Minho gives Chris a look. What is going on with everyone today? Felix noticed it too because he raised an eyebrow and looked between the both of us. "I wanna know the secret!! Did I miss something?" His curiosity got the best of him but all he got in return were smirks and shrugged shoulders. I just shook it off and decided to talk to my favorite brown haired boy. "Hey Hyunjin how'd you sleep?" I gave him a soft smile.

Hyunjin quickly stands up "excuse me, I'm not hungry. I'll just head to my room now." Was all he said before storming off. I looked at the other boys hoping they could answer my questions but they too looked just as confused as I was.

***

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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masterpost • main masterlist • taglist & faq

previously on...

Chapter 3 is finally here. Sorcerers need their shopping done, too. Beyonce/Wong platonic ship (joking)! And finally some action, more witchy stuff. Bucky whump because I have a saviour complex. Stucky cuteness moment. Some blood/gore in this chapter.

My insides clenched, seeing the yellow and blue notice taped to my door - the building manager rarely left notes, so whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. I had managed to wind myself up into an anxious frenzy by the time I had gone inside and locked my door behind me, immediately thinking I would have to exhaust myself by turning to magic to keep a roof over my head.

For once, the news turned out to be positive: a neighbor was being evicted and turned in to the police for stealing packages. The building manager urged the tenants to report any missing items and apply for a refund when possible, apologizing for the inconvenience. I wondered what prompted this, basically unheard of in NYC, act of kindness as my altar stared at me with mocking amusement, pointing out the obvious by its mere presence.

Grinning to myself, I texted Odette - predictably, she was happy for me, happy that my protection spell had turned out strong and steady, and added a few tips of her own for my spell to stay that way. It felt like I'd grown invisible wings, those days, with all the possibilities open - and never once did I let myself entertain a thought of getting back at an enemy of the past for longer than five seconds.

Sure, it was perfectly human to consider making the cheating ex go bankrupt or make sure the college professor, that failed a couple of students each semester as a 'reality check', trips and face-plants at least once a day... I mean, who wouldn't experience a malicious sort of joy from petty revenge?

But I found my powers were best applied with a positive result in mind. My friend's cat was the first test rat- I mean, living creature I had practiced my healing spells on. The eleven year old kitty was struggling and both me and my friend loved the critter dearly - so the short, but tiring spell I performed yielded exactly the results I was expecting. Odette said something about genuine love backing up the magic, and- well, Dumbledore much?

On humans, it turned out, it wasn't nearly as simple. I didn't know what I had expected would happen after performing nothing short of a whole improv-performace type of ritual right in front of my very puzzled but hopeful friend with chronic asthma, but it wasn't the sheer exhaustion that ran bone-deep and left me bedridden for a whole day.

Odette visited my dingy apartment with her signature enormous purse full of vials she spoon-fed me and trinkets she strategically placed in and around my immediate sleeping area. "There, there," the woman patted my head as I pitifully moaned at the ear-splitting headache. "The first one is always the most challenging. After all, if it would be easy, everyone would do it."

I understood that. But at the same time, it felt unfair that no good deed went unpunished. I told Odette so, raising my voice to the best of my ability as she rummaged around my kitchen.

"Nothing in this world comes out of thin air, whatever you decide to give has to be taken from somewhere," she explained patiently. "People like us are considered hedge witches. We do solitary work and draw most of our energy from the Earth, from mother Nature. We cannot perform miracles, however, the cost of our spells are very low," I felt an immediate peak of interest at the simple yet effective explaination she gave me. "We remain mostly human. Gaia* is kind and generous to the ones who pay respect," Odette continued over the clatter of pans and pots. "There are other kinds of witches - who take from other people, who take from the dead. But taking something by force always leaves scars and taking something from the dead means bringing a piece of them back to places it should not be."

I pondered the words as Odette brought the kettle to a boil, the whistling shriek piercing through my skull like a sharp projectile. "What about Voodoo practitioners?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity.

Odette cleared her throat. "What is left of them is mostly not human. Their gifts are great but the costs are greater. They can live far, far longer than the average witch but their souls will know no peace, just like the souls of the dead they anchor to themselves over time," Odette entered the room with a bowl of tangy, creamy liquid that smelled like pumpkin soup. "We do not bestow any judgement upon our brothers and sisters but it is our duty to inform the young." She cast a pointed glance towards me, passing me the soup and a wooden spoon I didn't know I had. "This should help you recover. Take tomorrow off if needs be."

She left shortly afterwards and I hadn't much strength than to use the bathroom, wash the rune-engraved spoon and curl up in my bed, only waking up when the meager light shone over my face from the window. Sleepy and fog-tinted, the early morning NYC was damp and windy as I stuck my head out of the window to soak my sleep-heated head in the cool air.

As uneventful as the day at the café was, I still wasn't up to 100% energy-wise, but the long walk from Jeremy's to Odette's was pleasantly invigorating. I didn't find the cold autumn moisture displeasing; the small raindrops kept me awake and alert. Odette nodded in muted pleasure as I clocked in and returned the special spoon back to her. The runes on it were interesting; I had taken a picture of them for research purposes, fully intending to craft myself something similar.

"Odette has taken on an apprentice," Wong's voice had me take in several deep breaths in preparation for the inevitable fuck-fest on my patience. "She has been avoiding me. And the girl is painfully slow."

I didn't hear the answer of Wong's companion over the rustling of the boxes I was hastily shoving in their places before the Asian man's temper grew foul. More foul. Ugh. The sharp ding of the bell had me yelling a, "Just a second please, I'll be right with you," while trying to keep my tone polite.

Wong's sour face and a list of items required greeted me as I flew out of the backrooms, noticing the locked doors of Odette's office on my way out. Wong's companion stood at the far end of the store - his robes quite different from the ones I'd seen people of their kind wear, his lithe, tall figure seeming strangely familiar. I squinted my eyes at his back. "Is this all you need?" I waved the list around, increasing the volume of my voice.

The tall man turned around and I could only gape. He, in turn, also froze, the stern, unfriendly expression losing heat and giving way to perplexed wonder. "I had placed an order, for sorcerer Strange," Tony's boyfriend eyed me somewhat sheepishly under Wong's concerned gaze.

I nodded, eyeing Wong in turn, letting satisfaction nestle a warm ball in my chest. Stephen's look of displeasure had turned onto his... Colleague. By the time I finished retrieving Strange's order and packing up the items on Wong's list, the Asian man had left, leaving Stephen to sheepishly pretend to examine the books on the furthest shelf. I waved the paper bags as he took long strides towards me, his fancy, large necklace glimmering under the lights.

"So, how long have you been working here?" Sorcerer Strange asked after I told him the total.

The cash register beeped loudly, coins clattering on the desk as I counted out his change. "Some time now," I shrugged noncommittally. I felt his magnetic eyes gloss over my adornments, the star necklace, the various rings; I could practically feel him coming to his own conclusions. "Long enough for your colleague to get an attitude with me," I had to make sure he knew I would be taking no bullshit from him - or anyone else, for that matter. Odette's opinion on his kind was firm and I was heavily inclined to agree.

"Hmm, I see," Strange was equally as keen on hiding his curiosity. It was a funny thing, really, that we, being adults that we were, treated this encounter like some sort of a dirty secret. "Don't take it personally. Wong is like that with everyone," The man briefly scratched his beard with a gloved hand before pocketing his change and picking up the bags. "Except Beyoncè, maybe," the wink he threw me was positively mischievous as it caught me off-guard, giving him a fox-like appearance.

I sighed as the door shut behind him. Pretty white boys - the ultimate human disasters.

I had no time to dwell on them, however, as something - or someone, hit downtown with all the malicious intentions to wreak havoc on the innocent civilians calmly going about their day. Mutants and people who knew Odette came in hordes, scrapes and bruises and strange wounds that required imminent healing.

My boss was no rookie, she dutifully accepted each and every single soul, looking worse for wear with each minute. Not being able to withstand seeing her drain herself, I simply took over the simplest tasks - and she said nothing, just gave me a nod, instructed to use whatever I needed and write it down somewhere along with the name of the person who required the healing.

As the battle raged, the crowds thinned but the ones who managed to come to Odette's spouted more serious wounds, obviously a result of them fighting back. Mutants covered head to toe with coats and hats and robes, for me to swallow my shock when they undressed - horns, tails and weird skin textures were on the far end of the normal. I dutifully extracted small pieces of information from each and every person I treated.

Yes, the Avengers were winning. No, there aren't many people hurt, most of the damage is cosmetic. Yes, the villain of the week is as stupid as usual. It was like a mantra. Odette poked her head into the spare room every now and then, her eagle eyes briefly scanning over me to make sure I wasn't exterting myself.

As I applied the healing salve to a tiny, pink-skinned woman, bandaging up her hands, my boss entered and closed the door behind her, setting down on the creaky chair with a loud thud. "Just got the news, the Avengers apprehended the terrorist," she sighed long and slow. "We've done all we could, the next few days I'll be handling house calls so you'll be here on your own. I'll probably see you in a few days, don't hesitate to give me a call if something comes up," Odette seemed to be barely standing up, yet when she tore off a few pieces of her jewelry and chucked them into a big tin can under the sink, the glossy sheen in her eyes melted away.

"Okay," I mumbled under the watchful eyes of the mutant woman. "Will there be more people coming in today?"

"No," the woman in front of me snorted. "SHIELD is prowling the streets. They are not fond of us, they always say we intervene unnecessarily even though we willingly do their dirty work so our children could be safe," the bitter, harsh tone took me off-guard.

I had to admit, there was reason behind her words. "Will you be able to get home safely? I have a puffy coat and a hat you can borrow." Figuring an expensive taxi ride would be a better alternative to something terrible happening to the woman, I offered her my winter clothes.

She smiled at me, razor blade teeth and large, red eyes the kindest I'd ever seen on a person. In the end, she took the clothes, promising to bring them back in a few days and Odette gave me a parka that was too small for her frame - despite it smelling like someone's grandma's attic, I found it to be quite lovely vintage. The puffy knitted scarf she added felt like warmth and safety - she had to have knitted it herself, for I knew, handmade items carried a significant amount of energy in them.

The shop was eerily quiet as I cleaned and scrubbed the stained, dirty floors and disposed of the bloody clothes and bandages in the tiny, odd fireplace in Odette's office - that was a thing most peculiar, it burned everything I put in it, but had no chimney, no place for the smoke to exit. Magic.

Something banged loudly against the entrance door. I let out a startled shriek, broomstick falling out of my hand and adding to the sudden cacophony of noise as the figure behind the stained glass slowly slid down the door, a deep, male voice groaning something incomprehensible loud enough for me to hear.

Grabbing a large serrated knife we used for mincing the bones of small animals, I made quiet steps towards the door, seeing a large, obviously humanoid figure helplessly lean on the door. The man's arm glinted chrome black and gunmetal grey in the low light. "Sargent Barnes? Bucky?" I whisper-shouted, carefully plying open the door.

He lifted his head, blood dripping down from it, his face looked like someone went to town on it with a meat mullet, his eyes were unfocused and couldn't keep a straight line. His flesh arm leaned heavily on the door frame, the prosthetic hanging limply, dragging his whole body to its side. It must've weigh a ton.

"Я должен найти капитана Роджерса," he whispered.

I didn't understand Russian at all but I could make out the name of his boyfriend. Which made sense. Bucky looked severely concussed - I idly wondered what exactly they had been fighting, what could have given a freaking super-soldier such a brain-leaking injury. "Sargent Barnes, follow me," I put on my big girl shoes and used my momma bear voice, towing the man behind me.

He, too, weighed a ton, as I stumbled, helping him into the chair in the spare room that became my healing station for today. The longer I looked at Bucky, the less lucid he grew, eyes falling shut as he murmured something in jagged Russian, slurring his words.

There was no time to think about the consequences of exposure of my witchcraft; mortar and pestle, herbs and salves flying everywhere, I assembled a healing spell and memorized the according ritual in what felt like record time. He was bleeding all over the chair, fresh crimson blood pouring out of his nose and mouth and it was all I could see.

I hadn't known true terror until the blood that poured out turned black. Whatever it was in him, it was poisonous - my protection charms grew hot, scalding as they left marks on my skin; powering through the pain and unable to turn my eyes off the convulsing Barnes, I finished the chant just as the flow of vile, tar-like liquid suddenly ceased. It pooled around his feet, dripped down the armrests and matted his long hair. It reeked, too, of copper and putrid meat.

Bucky had passed out somewhere mid-spell, the slow, steady breathing bringing me my own sense of calm. To say that I was drained would be an understatement - my vision swam and my world spun on it's axis as I unlocked Odette's office to messily rummage through a cabinet for the emergency tonic I knew she kept there. I chugged the vial, an avalanche of almost anxious, jittery energy hit me like a freight train - exactly what I needed.

I bought myself a couple hours of time. Cleaning up the sludge around Bucky's feet and removing the outer parts of his gear was easy as he remained as relaxed as a cooked spaghetti noodle. The amount of weapons he had on him was impressive, but those weren't what I was looking for - his phone. It was dead, so I plugged it in, waiting for the 5% to show and bringing it to his fingertips, hoping he used the print recognition instead of the password option... And I lucked out.

"Hello, this is Star, I found a Bucky. Tell Dr. Strange to come get him, he knows where I am." I texted the "Stevie ❤️" contact, my inner fangirl self squealing at the dorky name of his boyfriend's contact in Bucky's phone. Shortly afterwards, I went ahead and snapped a picture of myself next to sleeping Bucky, figuring out some actual proof wouldn't do any harm in this bizarre situation.

The answer didn't let me wait long. "10 minutes" came the first text, and shortly afterwards - "Is Bucky okay??????". I had to snort at the amount of question marks before honestly replying "He will be ☺️" and putting the phone back in Bucky's pocket. I cleaned up and attempted to lift Bucky up, succeeding in waking him up into a half-lucid state, probably courtesy of decades of training and whatnot, to at least drag him to the front of the store. I wasn't particularly comfortable with strangers seeing the backrooms.

Bucky leaned with his back against the counter, ass flat on the floor and a towel with a cold compress pressed to his head when the doors all but flew open, revealing Captain Rogers, still in uniform and Stephen Strange, arguing with his boyfriend, both still suited up and bloody and grimy.

"Uhh," I blinked owlishly, causing the men to stop bickering and stare first at me, then at Bucky. "I think he hit his head," I offered weakly, backing up slightly at the amount of burning eyes staring at me.

"Shortcake, that you?" Tony's eyebrows rose as he surveyed the bodega, the items on the shelves, the black and red blood stains on my previously pristine, yellow shirt.

"Now is not the time, Tony. Go with Rogers, make sure the medical is prepared for Barnes and disable his arm," Strange barked out authoritatively, shooting me a puzzled but compassionate look. "The portal is open. I'll talk to Star, find out what happened." He advanced towards me as Captain picked up Bucky bridal-style as tenderly as he could while making sure the compress stayed on.

"Keep that tone fo the bedroom," Tony's voice was more than displeased as he shot me and Strange a hurt look, but followed Steve into the golden circle right outside the door before it sparked shut.

"Now, now, what happened here?" The sorcerer's voice lowered into a soothing drawl as I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. My shoulders sagged, fingers twitching with anxious energy. The man extended a gloved hand, briefly squeezing my shoulder. "It's alright, take your time."

Damn, did I look that bad?

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites

#bun writes #practical alchemy #tony stark x reader x stephen strange #tony stark x reader #Stephen Strange x reader

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weasleydream · 3 years

Text

dreams are my reality - last part

this is the last part, finally! I really hope it’s good, please let me know!

As usual, feel free to like, comment, reblog and enjoy!

Masterlist

~ although it’s only fantasy ~

If I was being completely honest, opening my eyes the following morning surprised me a lot. However, this bubble of relief exploded when I realized three things: Sirius was not next to me in the bed, this bed was not in my room, and I wasn’t alone.

_ _ _

I was pretty sure I didn’t know the woman. She was wearing some strange kind of white dress and a headdress that was covering her hair. She said something to me, but I didn’t understand. Another woman, younger than the first, said something too, but no sound reached my ears. I thought with annoyance that they were just moving their lips on purpose, but then I realized I was plunged into a deep silence, and if what I felt until this moment was anxiousness, this new information made me trip over the edge. The women reacted quickly; one put her hands on my arms, firmly but with goodwill, I knew it. The other quickly left the room, and something caught my eyes just before the door closed, something familiar even though I couldn’t put my finger on it. She came back a few seconds later with two vials in her hand and made me drink them one after the other; the first transformed the deep silence into an annoying buzzing and the second made my eyelids so heavy that I didn’t have any other choice than to close them.

The next hours, or maybe days, passed in a blur. The only things I perceived were a mix of undefined forms and colours, with sometimes a sound I was unable to identify and sensations I couldn’t hold onto. It was just me and my confused mind, a succession of questions I didn’t really formulate and answers I couldn't even begin to think of.

I didn’t know it yet, but soon I would wish for things to stay like this forever.

_ _ _

It was usually a bad idea to go to St-Mungo’s when we were hurt after a mission for the Order, but Sirius’ life was threatened, and no one thought of another option. James and Remus had disappeared through the magical barrier way before Lily, Peter and I. They were carrying Sirius’ body as carefully as they could considering the fact that they were running. Lily and I were helping Peter whose leg seemed to be broken in several places and making sure no muggle was around. At first I had taken this task as an opportunity to avoid thinking about Sirius’ lifeless body, but it appeared that it was inefficient. Each dark corner of the empty street was a new hiding spot for the ghost of the death eater, and each pavement seemed to be stained with blood that shouldn’t have been spilled.

The barrier eventually appeared in front of us and we crossed it without a second thought. The boys’ arrival had already disturbed the usually perfect organisation of the nurses; they were running everywhere, sometimes barely dodging patients that didn’t understand what was happening. Three nurses stopped in front of us. Only now did I realize how much of a poor sight we probably were: Lily’s left arm was folded against her stomach, Peter was standing on one leg and he was paler than death, and my shirt was soaked in blood. That was without taking into account the shock that was paralyzing us. Two of the women exchanged places with Lily and I to bring Peter in an empty room at the end of the main corridor while the last put a hand on Lily’s back and a hand in mine to lead us in another room.

“How- Sirius?”

The nurse looked up to me with a neutral expression.

“I don’t know. I’ll ask my colleagues as soon as you're up and around.”

She left a few minutes later, and Lily and I followed her. She brought us to the part of the hospital where Sirius was being taken care of, and we joined James and Remus who were already waiting. Peter wasn’t here yet. That’s when the longest hours of our lives began, as we were waiting to know if Sirius would live.

_ _ _

Slowly, the different sensations that were forming my world for way too long stopped being confused. And before I could even clearly realize it, I opened my eyes for the first time since the incident with the two women.

This time, the room seemed empty. It was getting dark outside, and the light that was coming through the window was weak enough for me to look around me without being blinded. The walls were white, the sheets were white, the bedside table was white, everything was white. The only touches of colour were coming from the flowers on the bedside table and from the blanket that had been thrown on a chair that seemed uncomfortable. If my instincts were correct, I was in a hospital.

As if my questionments had summoned her, the old woman I had seen the first time opened quietly the door and her head appeared. When she realized I was awake, she slipped through the entrance and closed immediately behind her.

“Miss Y/L/N, how are you feeling?” Without waiting for my answer, she reached the side of my bed and helped me sit before arranging the pillows on my back.

“How long-” I croaked out, and the soreness of my throat gave me the beginning of an answer.

“You arrived here five days ago. You woke up a first time yesterday but there was a problem with your ears, I guess you remember that.” I nodded and she squeezed my forearm gently. “Your friends have been waiting impatiently for your awakening. I’ll have you pass a few exams and then you’ll see them.”

The next hour or so was full of all sorts of medical exams that I had never heard of. The nurse made me drink dozens of different potions, cast several spells, and she even asked me to cast a few myself. Finally, after what felt even more tiring than a match of Quidditch, she took a few steps back and grabbed the flying booknote that had followed her since the beginning.

“Mmm, yes, okay…” she murmured as she was reading her notes again. Then she stayed silent for a few seconds before looking up to me again with a small smile. “You’ll stay here with us for another few days, simple precaution. But I’ll allow your friends in your room - this way, maybe they’ll stop harassing me with questions every time they see my shadow.”

I nodded, amused to think that it was indeed like them or at least like Sirius. The nurse put the notebook on the other table that was on the other side of the room and opened the door widely. A split second later, a hurricane burst through the door.

“Y/N!” It was Lily’s voice. I barely had enough time to register her red hair flying behind her that she was kneeling on the bed and tightening me against her as if her life depended on it. “Don’t you dare do this ever again! We were so scared!”

I wrapped my arms around her and attempted to stroke her back in a soothing way, but I only had one question in mind.

“What- what…?” Talking was too painful, so I looked up to Lily hoping she would understand what I was asking.

“You mean what happened?” she asked with furrowed eyebrows. “You don’t remember?” I shook my head. “It was- I don’t know if I should tell you, then, I think- I think it’s better if you forget it.” She seemed embarrassed now, as if what had happened would be too much for me to bear. “You really don’t remember the mission?”

_ _ _

Four days and still no amelioration. No one said it because it was our duty to stay hopeful for each other, but we had all thought of the possibility that… Sirius wouldn’t make it out alive. The first time it had been implied by a nurse, James had exploded and almost pierced the wall with his fist, and nothing like this had been said again. It was twenty-four hours ago.

Peter had obtained the right to keep his room, but he was never the one sleeping in his bed. We were all so worried that walking away from Sirius’ room for two minutes was too hard; the only moments when Peter’s room was occupied were when one of us would fall dead asleep on a chair. It never lasted for long, though.

The night after the fourth day was the hardest without any hesitation. Somewhere around 3 a.m. Sirius' state changed brutally. It was so unexpected that we didn’t even understand what was happening, not until Peter, Remus, James, Lily and I were told to wait outside of the room. It was a strong stream of people that was coming in and out of the room and no one ever answered our questions. We were all on the verge of a nervous breakdown; it seemed so difficult for James that he repeatedly snapped at Lily whereas she was giving him news about Harry, who was still at the babysitter. Remus hadn’t said a word in hours, Peter had been staring blankly at the wall for at least ten minutes, and it felt like my heart was simultaneously stopping and exploding with every noise that reached us from the room.

It’s during the middle of the fifth day that, finally, a nurse told us what had happened.

“Your friend woke up during the night,” she first announced before lifting a hand, which stopped Peter’s exclamation. “He’s suffering from aftereffects, but we have good hope they’ll be temporary.”

Then she stopped and looked at us one by one, visibly waiting for a reaction. For my part, I was afraid I had understood it wrong, and I didn’t dare say anything. The last days had been so hard, so horrible, that it seemed impossible that they could have a happy ending.

“What- what…” stuttered Remus.

“He’ll be fine. I’m positive he’ll wake up today or tomorrow.”

I wanted to let my relief and my joy burst, but I didn’t have enough energy. Instead, I looked up to my friends: James had wrapped Lily tightly in his arms and she was murmuring soothing words in his ear, Peter was looking like he had deflated and Remus was as white as the wall. And yet, there was a bubble that had taken place around us, a bubble that had brought warmth and a feeling of security. Sirius was going to live, everything would be okay.

He would live.

_ _ _

Lily knew there was an internal battle that was raging in my body. She used to say my eyes always showed what I was feeling; this time, however, she didn’t say anything. She was sitting on the uncomfortable chair, waiting for the news to sink in, and I was sitting in the bed. I was staring at something that I couldn’t see, probably because I needed to fix my eyes on something to be sure I wouldn’t have to face reality. Somehow, it didn’t seem that surprising to me; maybe it was because deep down I knew it, or maybe it was because of some strong instinct, the fact is that I wasn’t exactly flabbergasted. But it didn’t make it easier to accept, far from that. In a way, it made it even more painful, as if the knife that had just been plunged in my chest was now being shaken in every direction.

Since I was a kid, I had always had this little notebook on my bedside table. When I was 7, it was pink with flowers on every page. When I was 10, it was the colour of the sky in the middle of a summer day. When I turned 11, it took the colours of an old parchment and some green ink, and it had stayed the same since then. If the colours had changed throughout the years, its content had always been the same: it was my dreams. Sometimes, I just described an image, a vague memory of something I thought I had seen, and sometimes it was a detailed account of everything I remembered. Now, if I had felt like thinking in an ironic way, I would have said that I soon would have a novel to write.

Without even realizing it, I crossed my fingers. This is when the missing of the very simple golden ring Sirius had given me hit me, and it took me a second to comprehend what it meant.

“Do you understand what it means, Y/N?” Lily asked quietly. “Whatever you remember… It didn’t happen. It was just- it was all in your head.”

_ _ _

“How is it possible?” Lily saw my lips moving but my voice didn’t reach her ears. She got up slowly and sat next to me without a word. “How is it possible?” I repeated, louder this time. “It was three years ago… I- I remember every day, I’ve lived everyday… Lily, it’s impossible! It’s- no, I don’t believe it, I-”

“Calm down Y/N, it will be okay.”

Lily used her most soothing voice and put both her hands on my shoulders. If usually it was enough to help me, this time it was completely useless. I jumped backwards and folded my knees against my ribcage. This position made me feel a bit later, as if being curled up in the tightest ball would make me become invisible.

“You’re lying…” I sniffled. “I want to see Sirius…”

Lily sighed and got up. Without a word, she opened the door and glanced once again at me before disappearing. A few minutes later, the door slammed open again.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you’re alright!”

It was Sirius. I had the hardest time believing all of this was true, but to see him brought me another proof. His hair was longer than they were the last time I had seen him - or the last time I thought I had. His cheeks were more hollowed too, and he had dark bags under his eyes. It was exactly how I remembered he was before that mission.

“Y/N… What’s wrong?” Uncertainty was filling his voice; he had probably realized I was looking like a scared animal.

I was now sobbing. With each sound that left my mouth my throat tightened a bit more, and each tear that rolled on my face made my eyes sting a bit more. No matter how firmly I was trying to brace my knees, my arms and the rest of my body were shaking like a leaf when the wind is the most powerful. Sirius’ hand slowly brushed my back; it earned him a weak flinch.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” he murmured again before delicately stroking my hair. “I need to help you, please…”

I shook my head, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Have I already told you how stubborn you are?”

“Only a dozen times... “ I whispered.

Sirius chuckled softly and his fingers brushed my cheek.

“Is it a smile that I see?”

The only answer I could give him was a slightly larger smile. My heart was still heavy and my face still covered in tears, but Sirius was next to me and wedding or not, he was still my anchor to this world. His arms surrounded my shoulders, and without thinking about it I hid my nose in the crook of his neck. It was hard not to think about all the things I had lost without having had them at all when his scent was all around me and when his hands were on my skin, and they soon became so vivid that I couldn’t ignore them anymore.

“We were married…” I whimpered, and the lack of reaction from Sirius led me to wonder if he had heard me. Until he asked me more about it, that is.

“What did you just say?”

However he didn’t move, and it made it easier for me to tell him everything. Absolutely everything. I didn’t know what terrified me the most; that he could laugh, tell me it would never happen, or just think I had gone crazy. Clearly, the story of the three years of living together my brain had created had taken a toll on him, he was tense and stayed silent for way longer than usual. I couldn’t bring myself to talk first, so I just sat there, still hidden in his neck, waiting for any reaction he would give me.

“You said James cried when we told him?”

It was my turn to stay silent, because I didn’t understand why the first thing he found to say among all the possibilities was to ask if James had really cried. Sirius slowly loosened his grip on me, and his shining eyes found mine.

“And… Were you happy?”

“I was.”

Sirius nodded and lifted his hand to untangle a strand of hair. He was smiling, not really looking like he was outraged or something like this, and several times he opened and closed his mouth. He was obviously looking for something to say and I was too, but what was I supposed to add to clear the air?

Even though it was less violent than earlier, the door suddenly opened and three heads appeared. James, Remus and Peter rushed in the room and literally jumped on the bed, which sent Sirius on the floor. James was just in front of me, his arms were the first to wrap around me and he hugged me for a few seconds before pushing me backwards and looking at me with a mix of anger and relief.

“Why the hell did you do that?” he shouted, even though in his voice too different feelings were fighting. “I was that close to cast Protego! Remus would have killed him without a problem and- and-”

“Shut up James, would you?” intervened Peter. “You see that she doesn’t understand what you’re saying, don’t you?”

Indeed, I was completely lost; I did remember Remus killing the death eater, but the rest was obviously very different. I glanced at Sirius: he had gotten up but his eyes were attached to the floor.

“What happened?” I enquired. “I don’t-”

“You protected me, that’s what happened.” Sirius’ voice was firm and emotionless, way too similar to the one he used when he was deeply hurt or ashamed. “You shouldn’t have done that, by the way. It was stupid… I’ve never wanted you to risk your life for me.”

“Sirius, a thank you would have been great too, you know.”

“Certainly not! You almost died and I’ll never forgive myself for it! Y/N, I just can’t bear the thought of you being hurt and even less when it’s because of me!”

“Hey, hey, Sirius!” I tried to reach out for his hand, but he was too far. Sirius sighed and sat on the edge of the bed and I grabbed his hand. “You know, one day you told me- or no, I imagined you telling me… No, said like this it’s weird. It’s just that… Sirius, dying to protect you is not something I fear. It would be… an honour.”

“Don’t say that…” he murmured. “Please, never say that again.”

And he engulfed me in a strong embrace that I gave him back. Our friends had discreetly left the room to leave us some intimacy, and I stayed in Sirius’ arm for a long time. For the first time since I had opened my eyes, things felt like they made sense.

_ _ _

Real life was less easy, that was for sure. The war wasn’t over, Voldemort hadn’t magically vanished, we were all still more or less hurt after that mission, Harry was still growing up in a dangerous world. But we were fighting to make it better, and things were slowly working out the way we wanted them to.

Sirius and I had spent a lot of time together, and he had made a point to make sure one day, my dreams would become my reality.

It was a promise that he had stuck to, and that he had fully kept the day he had asked me to marry him, more or less three years later.

The end

tag: @padsfirewhisky

#Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #marauder era #marauders era #marauders imagine

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mommymooze · 3 years

Text

Anxious Restraint

Sylvain x reader

Warning: war, death, destruction, sad families, blood, injuries

Its a beautiful day during Great Tree Moon. Your nose is filled with the mixed scents of the flowers that are blooming everywhere, their petals catch in the winds and scatter across the cobblestones. You are strolling quietly through the pathways of the school having just left one of your classes and heading to your next when you are suddenly joined by a fellow student, interrupting your thoughts about the upcoming battle.

Apparently, you have caught the eye of the school’s skirt-chaser, the notorious Sylvain Gautier. “Hey beautiful, how are you doing today?” He smoothly slithers up to your side, brushing his elbow up against yours.

“I’m fine, Sylvain” you respond listlessly, wishing this conversation was already over.

With his ‘every girl wants a piece of a guy who smiles like this’ look plastered on his face, he continues, “Want to grab some dinner with me today? Such a beautiful day would be even better if we shared a little time together, eh?”

Eyes straight ahead, you keep walking as if he’s not even there. “No thanks, I have to work on my magic and I was going to practice after grabbing a bite in the dining hall.”

“What about tomorrow?” He pushes.

“Tomorrow I have a test.” You just want him to stop. Mother taught you not to be rude, but he is testing every bit of your patience.

“And the next day?” He sounds desperate.

“Working with Felix on my sword skills. And improving my Pegasus riding so I can be a dark flier. I really have to get going.” Your voice getting louder as you run at top speed to anywhere before you lose your temper.

Sylvain is left in the dust, again. You’re in the same class as he is. You haven’t known him long, but Ingrid fills you in on his life history of philandering. Classes keep everyone busy. You have to study fairly hard, but you are rewarded with great grades. Sylvain is smart, but doesn’t apply himself, he tells you he shouldn’t have to bother to be the best because no matter what, his dad’s just going to make him take his place someday. Seems like every time you see him he has a different girl hanging off his arm. He still asks you out once or twice a month. More out of a force of habit than anything else.

Time flies by with unusual problems happening quite frequently at the monastery. The Church sends the students out to fight their battles for them on a regular basis. Classes are taught, battles are won, then suddenly war is declared. The battle of Garreg Mach leaves everyone numb. You head home to find it is gone, the whole village burnt to the ground. Everyone you knew is gone, you’re unsure as to who lived and who died. You become part of a mercenary group, continuing to fight and develop your skills and battle techniques. Your group will take any job that will take down Empire soldiers or people allied with them. Yuri hires your group a few times. Most of your jobs are in the Kingdom and Alliance territories.

Five years pass and you find yourself back at Garreg Mach, wondering if your friends will be there for the reunion planned so long ago. You are completely shocked when Byleth appears, fighting alongside a battleworn and feral Dimitri.

Once the battle ends the Blue Lions light up the stove in the kitchen, salvage what they can and cook up food that doesn’t quite go together but gets something in their stomachs for the night. Sitting around a table in the dining hall they each tell their stories of what they have been doing the past five years. Most of them protected their territories, saving their people. Byleth was sleeping, Dimitri is absent, everyone draws their own conclusions on what his time was spent on.

Sylvain finds you alone one afternoon sitting on a bench after having spent the entire day organizing and cleaning the library. “So you became a mercenary? You could have come to Gautier or even Fraldarius. Felix and I would have helped you. You didn’t have to be alone.” He said, sounding sad.

“I guess I needed to find myself after everything I knew was gone. I felt like I had to crawl my way up from the bottom. I refused to give up. I hadn’t planned on being a mercenary. I knew I wanted to keep fighting, keep working to be stronger, needing to make a difference for the right cause. Waking up every day knowing that I would work to improve the lives of the people, sure it didn’t win any major battles. But it made a difference to them. I gave them hope. Stealing supply wagons from the Empire and taking them to those that were starving or had no way to protect themselves kept me moving forward all of this time. I may have lost all of my things, but I gained a true purpose.

The next few days are filled with finding places to sleep, hunting and gathering food, repairing rooms and critical buildings, and greeting others that have returned such as Seteth and Flayn with the Knights of Seiros. You work with Byleth, offering to train anyone in reason magic.

Sylvain comes to your classes. You notice that he behaves himself, having grown up somewhat, and actually studies and gains better control of his magic. He finds you in the training grounds late one night, working with the new recruits and decides to lend a hand, helping them with their incantations, manipulation of runes or simply being encouraging.

Finally, the last student leaves. You wave as you grab your tomes and notes. Sylvain takes a seat on a nearby bench.

“You have your spellcasting mastered. I can really see the improvement since we were students.” Sylvain genuinely smiles.

You have a look of shock on your face. That has to be the sincerest compliment he has ever given you. “Um…thanks.” You weakly smile.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He says waving as he turns.

You stumble after him quickly. “Sylvain, thank you very much for helping me tonight. If you hadn’t, I could have been here until morning. That was really sweet.”

He flashes a grin at you and heads out the door. You are confused. The Sylvain you remembered from before the war was always flirting and shirking work. Now he’s helping with working and training. He actually volunteers. Maybe he really is growing up.

Battles come and battles go. Being the eye in the sky, you are always watching out for your friends. After surviving for this many years of war, it would be heart wrenching to lose any of them now. You throw a Thoron into a group of archers that are terrorizing Felix. You guide Ingrid to help Ashe when someone is sneaking up on him. Always, always you have one eye on Sylvain, making sure he doesn’t get himself surrounded or run through on an enemy’s lance. The fights are all the same, only the names of the places change and the numbers of scars on everyone ever increases.

Reclaiming the Capital is a painful battle. Everyone’s heart breaks seeing the city in such ruin. The people are hiding from the soldiers on both sides. Titanus running amok cutting down everything in their paths. You fly quickly, attacking the Empire from the air, then leading innocent citizens to safety and hauling the wounded back to the rear of the lines to get healed. Fire and smoke is everywhere. Your Pegasus is breathing hard and needs a break. You leave it with the other beasts not currently in the fight and run in on foot to see where you can assist. You scurry back to where you had seen the heaviest fighting just in time to see the last Titanus fall with a thundering crash. Dimitri, Dedue, Felix and Sylvain are dashing towards Cornelia. As soon as you are in range you hit her two closest archers with Swarm-z, slowing them down as well as injuring them. Felix and Sylvain defeat the enemies quickly. Dedue and Dimitri are facing Cornelia. Angered by your magic, she casts Luna Λ at you. Normally you have a fairly high magic resistance, however this is a dark magic spell that doesn’t care what your resistance is, it’s going to hit and hit hard. Your last thoughts before you lose consciousness is that your friends can finish this easily and you are glad you’re on the ground and not falling off your Pegasus.

Waking up on a hard cot in the makeshift infirmary of the palace you hear the sounds of people walking softly and whispering all around. You mentally take inventory, wiggling toes and twitching fingers. Opening your eyes you have to blink a few times before you can finally get them to focus. At first you only see oranges and blacks, then you can focus a bit and see Sylvain and Annette standing at the foot of your cot. You see her point your direction and he turns to face you. He was frowning but when your eyes meet his, his face relaxes.

Kneeling down at the head of your bed he says softly, “Hey, welcome back. Think you can take a drink for me?” pulling a waterskin to your lips and lifting your head a bit, helping you take a few sips.

The water is cool and feels amazing on your parched throat. “Mmmm. Thanks.” You whisper as you smile up at him.

“Let’s see. What did you miss? After Cornelia hit you with that spell, she was easily taken down by Dimitri and Dedue. The fighting was over soon after that, we just had to take out a few pockets of enemy soldiers here and there. As you can tell we took over the royal palace. The people rallied outside and demanded Dimitri to present himself to them. They’re accepting him as king and happy to have him back. Your Pegasus is in the royal stables, Ingrid was able to coax her in there. I had no idea she hates men so much, I almost lost my right hand, gauntlet and all.” Sylvain chuckles softly.

“Sorry. She was probably mad at me for leaving her in the first place. Glad I did.” You take another drink, the fog in your head lifting a little more.

Sylvain looks up at Annette, who is getting some bandages together for another patient. “Do you think she’ll be able to make it to the party tonight?”

“If she behaves. She’ll have to take it easy.” The shorter redhead points at you. “No dancing the night away.”

The cavalier pats your shoulder, “It’s nothing big, just the Lions hanging out together, to relax a minute before the next battle. Gotta take a break sometime, right?”

“I will try to make it. I haven’t even tried to sit up yet.” You mumble.

“When you’re ready we’ll sit you up. If you want to eat we’ll get you some food.” He begins, “After you’ve settled a bit we’ll try to get you walking around and show you to a room so you can clean up and change. I’ll come by before the party and help you get there if you want to go. Sometimes these corridors can all look alike. Wouldn’t want you spending half the night trying to find your way there.”

“Sitting up sounds like a good start.” You propose, knowing that magical wounds take time you recall. There’s only so much healing magic and potions they can pour into you. You weren’t sliced open and didn’t lose blood. Mostly once you wake up, you could go about your business, just treading a bit more carefully.

The cavalier is tall and agile, stepping over a few empty cots with his long legs he grabs a wooden chair and sits it down at the head of your bed. Before you can start to turn to stand up, he picks you up and gently places you seated in the chair.

“Wow.” You gasp. “Um..thanks.” a tinge of red warms across your cheeks.

“I grabbed one with arms so if you’re still tired you would have something to lean on. Are you feeling alright so far?” He has the tiniest upturn to the corners of his mouth.

He looks adorable, you think to yourself. Wait. Sylvain. Adorable? Um…hey brain, are you going to answer him? “My head is a bit fuzzy.”

“I’ll check on you in a while, in time for lunch, ok?” the redhead says as he pats your hand while he walks past and leaves.

You sit looking around the room. Soldiers mixed with citizens. A woman with her baby is holding hands with a man that looks like he was badly burned. You can see the strength and determination in her face, she is being strong for him. A young boy sitting by the cot of an older man that is sleeping. The clerics are checking bandages, stopping to talk to every patient and giving them words of encouragement. The physical fighting here has ended, now everyone is gathering themselves together, healing, and getting ready to rebuild and make a better world.

You start moving yourself, getting your blood flowing and stretching, kicking your feet for a while then holding them up in the air. Soon you feel brave enough to try to stand up. Putting your feet on the ground you use the chair to help you stand on your own feet. You don’t feel like falling over, no affects so far except for some anxiety. You spy a chair 15 feet away and decide to go the distance. Your first few steps are taken gingerly, but you gain a bit of confidence and make it the last few steps fine. Sitting down your legs gave a bit so you came down a bit hard, but it felt good to move. Now you realize that you are in a simple gown and socks. Not exactly the best clothes for heading out of here, hopefully someone will be by soon to tell you what to do next. After taking a careful stroll back to your original chair, you spy Annette coming down the row of cots, checking on patients. You take a sip of water and wait for your turn.

“How’s your head? Any signs of a headache? Any pain anywhere?” Her bright and cheery smile always makes you smile back at her.

“I feel pretty good. Whoever worked on me did an amazing job. I just have a tiny headache. I’ve even been taking a few steps back and forth between the chairs here. So what should I do next?”

Annette reaches under your cot for a small bundle. ”We have a change of clothes and boots for you.” She shows you to the bathroom to change. You nod happily, “I would love to get real clothes on. It gives you the mental kick like you’re getting back to normal.”

“You have a great attitude! I’ll bet you’re fine in no time.” The redhead bubbles, walking with you to the powder room.

Clothes changed, washing your face and hands, you feel like a gold bullion. No mirrors in here, probably so the recovering wounded are not shocked about how they look after battle and keep concentrating on healing. You feel much more confident walking back to the chair by your cot. Observing the healers running around, you feel quite useless and guilty for not being able to help them. Before you spiral too far into a frustrating mindset, Sylvain arrives.

“Look at you, all ready to go!” He smiles. “They said if I take it easy with you, we can get you to the dining hall. Ready to give it a go?” He stands next to your chair, his elbow ready for you to grab it for support if needed.

“Sounds wonderful.” You stand up and place your hand on his forearm letting him lead you out of the infirmary.

The first few times he spies a bench he checks if you want to rest or keep going. The continued movement is a little tiring, but also feels really good getting your heart pumping. Once you really begin to feel tired you are already at the dining hall. Felix, Ingrid and Ashe already at the table with their food.

“Welcome back!” Ingrid smiles, waving with a roll in her hand. Felix does his usual nod in your general direction. Ashe waves excitedly as he tries to chew whatever he has in his mouth faster.

“Great to see you!” Ashe begins, switching to recalling his view of the end of the battle. “I saw Cornelia hit you with that spell, it was so scary. You were taking out her archers protecting her and then Bam! This ball of black and purple hit you and you go down. Dimitri and Dedue took her out and when Felix and Sylvain finished her other archers they put you on Sylvain’s horse and he took you straight back to the healers.”

Sylvain returns to the table with a tray full of food. “So I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for, so I brought a few things. Doesn’t matter because whatever you don’t eat, Ingrid will finish for you.”

“Hey!” Ingrid puts her hands on her hips, pouting for a second. Then she changes her mind. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

You decide the soup and a soft roll may be a good place to start. Everyone chats about things that happened in the fight, trying to concentrate on good things that happened such as saving a child or protecting a merchant.

“Oh Ingrid! Thank you for taking care of my Pegasus and getting her stabled.” You happily pat her hand in thanks.

“It was nothing. She was being feisty and knucklehead over there tried to grab her reins and she didn’t take to it too kindly.” Ingrid grinned at the cavalier. “they are not the same as horses!”

The redhead puts his hands up, “I get it! I get it!”

Lunch ends and before you get a chance Sylvain grabs everyone’s dishes and piles them on his tray to take back.

You raise an eyebrow at Ingrid, she shrugs her shoulders. Felix and Ashe are already out the door talking about some training they are interested in. Ingrid says she will check on your Pegasus and let you know this evening how things are. You assure her you’re going to try to make the gathering tonight.

Sylvain returns, placing his arm at the ready, you grab on and as he escorts you, talking about his history here, having grown up frequently visiting the palace, how he would chase Ingrid, Dimitri and Felix down the halls until they would get in trouble and their amazing snowball fights in the courtyards. He leads you down the corridor to your room. Annette and Mercedes are staying in the room next to yours.

“Who am I bunked up with?” You wonder.

“Nobody. This is all for you. The room is huge with a sitting area, a grand fireplace, a huge bed with multiple fluffy pillows and a bathroom with bathtub big enough to swim in. You spy your bags set on tables next to the dressers.

“I am so confused.” You don’t realize you are speaking out loud. “Why this special treatment? I’m just like everyone else. I don’t understand?”

“Remember when we were up against Cornelia?” Sylvain explains. “The person she looked at, the one she needed to stop first wasn’t Dimitri, wasn’t Dedue, it was you. You’re the most powerful mage we have. Sure, Annette is pretty amazing, but she can’t do the damage you do. Cornelia saw it. I know you can dance circles around me. You’re pretty terrifying. We’re thrilled to have you on our side.”

You’re absolutely flabbergasted. You never compare yourself to anyone else. You go out, do your job. You feel a blush to your cheeks even though you find this hard to believe.

The redhead continues, “Then there’s the fact that you do this while flying on your Pegasus. We’ve seen you do maneuvers on that animal that shock Ingrid. You make some seriously fast dives, then stop. The wind force from its wings is stronger than some of Annette’s spells. I’ve seen enemy archers rolling over backwards from it.”

You could be knocked over by a Pegasus feather. You’re just a regular person in the army and he’s put you up on a pedestal…wait. This is Sylvain you’re thinking about. But it’s not his usual flirting escapades. Where is that flirtatious attitude anyway? You have spent a lot of time with him today and walked past plenty of pretty ladies, but you can’t recall his saying hello or paying a compliment to any of them.

“I think I should get a nap.” You say, not sure if you’re overwhelmed or tired or both.

“I’ll let you rest then. I’ll be back for you to get you to the party in plenty of time. See you in a few hours!” Sylvain smiles widely as he heads out the door, closing it behind him.

You sneak over to the door, hearing his footsteps going off into the distance. You peek out to watch him head down the long hallway. You watch him walk past a few female fellow soldiers without a hitch in his step. He comes to the end of the hallway where a cute maid is dusting a portrait and he just keeps going, not even giving the maid a sideways glance. Who is this guy and what have they done with Sylvain? You’re not sure, but you need to find out.

You decide a bath then a nap may clear your head. There are wonderful smelling soaps with flowers imbedded in them and something that smells fresh and relaxing for your hair. Cleansed and warm, it is definitely nap time. You comb your hair out, braiding it a bit and surround yourself by the fluffy pillows. You are asleep as soon as your head hits the pillows.

Several hours later you wake up, glad to see it’s not dark outside yet. You dress in a soft blue tunic and black slacks with your boots. You let your braids loose so your hair can dry. You head next door to visit Annette and Mercedes.

“Knock, knock, anyone home?” You chuckle.

“Hey! Come in!” Annette’s bubbly voice calls back. You enter, hmm, their room is much smaller than yours. You frown.

“Merci’s in the bath right now. Do you feel well enough to join us tonight?” Annette is looking at two outfits she has laid out on the bed, trying to decide which dress to wear.

“I’m about ready. I need to fix my hair a bit, that’s all.” You pause. “Annie, if I ask you some questions will you answer me honestly?”

“Pssshhh. Of course. We have no secrets.” The blue eyed woman smiles from ear to ear.

You want to ask her the right way, not fishing for compliments, because you don’t want that. “So. I’m just one of the many mages in the army, right? I’m no different than any other Pegasus rider. Just a regular old normal person.”

“Well…” Annette scrunches her eyebrows and puts her finger to her chin. “For Faith magic, nobody can beat Merci. Reason magic I’m pretty good, but you’re better than me, and Byleth too. You’re the only one that can cast Dark magic. Byleth does call on you frequently to do some very tough jobs, being out on the front lines where normally mages are not.”

“You can be quite scary!” Laughs Mercedes as she emerges from the bath in a short tunic and her slips. “A bolt of darkness coming down like a demon on the dark wings of your steed.”

“I guess I’m just confused by Sylvain. Did Byleth tell him to watch over me or something?” You look so flustered.

Mercie puts her hand over her mouth to hide a giggle.

“You should have seen him when he saw Cornelia hit you with her spell!” Annette is leaning so far forward off the bed she’s going to fall over any minute. “You fell over and he tried to run over there. Felix nearly pulled his arm out of his socket. He had to stay and finish the archers. Sylvain insisted on getting you back to the healer’s tent as fast as possible.”

“Why am I in a big room at the end of the hall all by myself? Shouldn’t I be bunked with someone?” You are grasping at anything trying to make sense of today.

“That could be from me.” Mercedes advises. “I did tell Dimitri that you need peace and quiet, healing from a magic injury is impeded by stress like loud noises or bad roommates.”

You shake your head a bit. Maybe you’re just tired and after a good night’s sleep you’ll be better in the morning. You remind yourself not to stay up too late at the party.

The three of you chat a bit, getting into gossip and girl talk. Dimitri and Byleth have been getting closer now that he has been feeling much better. You elbow the red-headed mage sitting next to you on the bed, teasing her about a certain dedicated swordsman. She refuses to admit if they have kissed yet, but by the redness on her cheeks, there is something going on there for sure. Mercedes admits to having a few cooking dates with Dedue. He is showing her how to make some dishes. She’s always felt comfortable baking desserts but not cooking main courses and side dishes.

The two ladies corner you asking if you have your heart set on anyone. Sheepishly you have to shrug your shoulders. You haven’t had time to do much beyond teaching the new mages and their battalions, being sent on a few covert missions, and working with the Pegasus knights training, working the stables and working out with your own steed. You see Ingrid the most of the group, frequently Dorothea would be hanging out nearby waiting for her.

Suddenly you notice the time and need to get back to your room to finish getting ready. You wave goodbye and will see them in a little while. There is a lovely vanity with an adjustable mirror. You take a seat and decide to braid your hair in one of the more intricate braids like Petra had shown you in recent months. Tying it with a white ribbon you leave it on your right shoulder. Dusting your cheeks with a light rouge and dabbing your lips with a bit of color you’re done. This has probably been the closest you’ve been to being dressed up since the war started.

A knock on the door brings your attention back from staring at your face in the mirror. You walk quickly to the door to find Sylvain there, smiling brightly.

“You look…like you are feeling much better. Did you get to rest?” he asks.

“I feel great, I’m sure tomorrow I will feel even better.” You smile as he steps back to let you exit the room and he closes the door behind you. You grab the crook of his elbow like you had done earlier and he leads you to the parlor where the gathering is taking place.

“It is great to just hang out together for once. It has been exhausting.” Sylvain announces.

“War takes so much out of you. We have come so far, just a little bit more.” You sigh wistfully.

“The end is in sight.” The tall redhead says quietly. After a pause, he asks, “So have you thought about what you’re going to do after the war?”

“I don’t know.” You slow your pace, trying to gather your thoughts as you walk. “I’ve been so busy with the war, its hard to think about it being over. There is still going to be a million things that have to be done. Setting up government, rebuilding, trying to get everyone to work together. The work never ends.”

“Well, let’s not think about all that work for tonight.” He says as he pauses outside the room. “Let’s relax for just a bit before it all starts over again tomorrow.”

Inside the parlor is a large table with many chairs. Tables loaded with foods, fruits, savory treats and desserts. A large circle of comfortable chairs, couches, loveseats and settees with small tables scattered between them is the right, a few seats already occupied by Dedue, Dimitri, Byleth and Ingrid.

Everyone stands and greets you as you enter. You hug them all, so happy to be back together with everyone. Sylvain holds his hands out hopefully.

“Of course, you didn’t get one yet either.” You smile as you place your arms around him for his hug as well. He smells good. He hugs back ever so gently, his touch is feather light.

Byleth returns to the settee that she is sharing with Dimitri and asks you to sit next to her. You take a spot on the loveseat and chat with her about what happened during the battle from her point of view and she shares how proud she is of everyone. The rest of the Blue Lions filter into the room. Sylvain hands you a glass of water with lemon slices in it then walks over to talk to Felix who has found the spicy meatballs.

Once everyone has a drink in hand, Dimitri offers a toast thanking them all for their help in taking back the Kingdom capital. Plaudits of the attendees fill the room.

The conversations are lively. Ashe sits next to you for a while, talking about some new books he has ordered and offers to let you read them after he is finished. Annette also sits next to you for a while, talking about all of the different and delicious desserts. You prefer the peach tart, however you agree that the strawberry cheesecake is simply divine. The redhead then joins Felix on the couch on the other side of the room. Sylvain stands between you and Byleth, talking about differences in armor quality and comparing different blacksmiths. You invite him to ‘take a load off’ has he likes to say to others, as you move to let him sit next to Byleth and you sit on the other side of the seat, patting the loveseat for him to sit himself. He nods and smiles as he takes a seat and continues his conversation with the former Professor. Mercedes bustles through the room, taking your empty plate and another that Annette had left on the side table.

Sylvain finishes his conversation and looks out into the room. You tap him on the hand to get his attention.

“What have you been up to today?” You ask him.

“I had to work on repairs for my saddle, one of the cinching straps had become frayed. I don’t need it breaking and falling off in the middle of battle. I also had to make sure my horse is in great shape, trimmed her hooves and then took her out for a ride. I used to ride a lot out here with Dimitri. It was good to feel the wind through my hair, the sun on my back and simply ride just for the sake of riding.”

“That sounds delightful.” You think wistfully. “Just going for a ride to be riding. Can’t wait to be able to do that again.”

“Any time you are up for it I would be happy if you would like to join me.” Sylvain smiles.

You gently wrap your tiny hand around his much larger, calloused hand. “Sounds great.”

Another hour of chatting with your friends goes by until a yawn suddenly escapes your lips.

Sylvain immediately notices. “Looks like you have had enough fun for today. I should take you back, okay?”

“Mmmm. I agree. Mercedes will tie me to a cot if I don’t rest.” You giggle

Mercedes laughs, “I have ways of making you sleep.” Her voice is much deeper, lower than normal as she squints her eyes menacingly. She wiggles her fingers in a creepy taunting manner at you, making you laugh even more. Sylvain stands and offers his elbow for you to take. Both of you bid goodnight to everyone as you head back out to the corridors of the palace. You are silent as you both walk back to your room. At the door he is preparing to take his leave.

Placing your hand on his shoulder you stop him from moving. “I would like to talk with you, that is, if you want to speak with me as well.”

He gives a slight smile and follows you into your room. You move to the sitting area. You take a seat on a soft cushioned char, he sits on an identical chair next to you.

“First, thank you so much for all of the help you have provided to me today. Bringing water, helping steady me in the hallways, and making certain I was not lost wandering the palace looking for the party.” You say this with all the sincerity you can muster, placing your left hand on your chest to show your heartfelt thanks.

“It was the least I could do. You have given of yourself over and over, it was wonderful being able to help you today.” A tinge of red covers his cheeks. “You really should get some rest.”

You really want to talk to him but he is right, you can barely keep your eyes open. He opens the door to leave, but you hold your arms out to give him a hug goodnight. He gently wraps his arms around yours as you press your cheek into his chest, exhaling with a sigh. You wave as he steps through the threshold and closes the door.

The early morning war council is held in one of the palace’s meeting rooms. Dimitri shares a message delivered to him earlier this morning. It is a plea for assistance from the alliance, Claude asks for help in Derdriu. Everyone agrees to make the detour to the city then head on towards Enbarr to finish the war.

Arriving at the coastal city, Claude has done an excellent job preparing the city for the fight with the Empire. The battle zone has been evacuated of the citizens and merchants. They only ones involved in the fighting are soldiers. The Kingdom’s army is motivated and strong, overtaking the Empire forces in record time.

There is a meeting between Dimitri, Byleth and Claude. Claude announces he is headed for his own future and wishes everyone well.

The Kingdom marches for Enbarr. The final battle in the war. Edelgard does nothing to prepare the citizens, they flee in the streets as the fight rages around them. The fight is long and bloody. There is no surrendering by Edelgard, she and Hubert fight until their last breath.

You volunteer to stay behind, but Ashe, Ingrid, Dorothea, Linhardt and Caspar remain to start the repairs and healing from the war. The rest return to the north. Sylvian and Felix return to their territories to check on everything and keep their lands going.

Back in the Kingdom capital, your days are filled with rebuilding, not just the buildings, but the mind and bodies of the citizens. You are always amongst the people, one day clearing rubble, the next helping in the orphanages, another day watching a mother’s children so she could take care of business. You explain you are doing this for king and country. If there is anyone to thank, it is Dimitri.

Soon everyone is gathered here again, this time for Dimitri’s coronation. The ceremony is long. Byleth being the archbishop has the honor of placing the crown upon the king. There are so many speeches and the lords of every territory must approach the king and promise their allegiance.

A grand ball celebrating the coronation is held in the evening. King Dimitri is seated at the head table, next to Archbishop Byleth. Felix is next to Dimitri as his chief advisor, Dedue next to him as his Vassal. Ashe and Ingrid are knights, standing guard behind them. They insisted on working, reveling in the honor of being among the first to protect the newly crowned King.

You sit with Annette, Mercedes, Dorothea, Caspar, Linhardt and Sylvain. The conversation is never ending, you haven’t seen several of them for months, so everyone has to catch up. Mercedes and Dedue are engaged. Annette and Felix are officially a couple, as well as Caspar and Linhardt. You have been busy helping restore the school of sorcery. They have been begging you to become a teacher, you are still considering your options.

The orchestra on the opposite side of the ballroom begins to play. The king and archbishop take the floor, starting the dancing for the remaining couples. Sylvain had been seated next to Dorothea and they spoke quietly with each other several times during dinner. You would look up and smile at him and he would always return the gesture.

After the first song ends, it was time for the rest of the couples to dance. You are shocked when he stands and walks over to you, asking you to dance with him. He takes your hand and leads you to the floor. The first few minutes you smile at each other. Then you hear him sigh. You catch his eyes and he smiles at you.

“I’ve missed you.” Sylvain whispers softly in your ear.

“I was hoping you lived close enough that you could come visit here more frequently. Maps can be quite deceiving.” You frown briefly, “How are things in Gautier?”

Sylvain seems to stiffen a bit. “My father is going to step down, leaving me to take his place.”

You try not to frown, “Is that what you want to do?”

He hesitates as the song is ending and he asks you to step outside with him. You stroll through the gardens together, the smell of moist earth and roses fills the air. You stop far enough away that the brightness of the party no longer blocks the light of the stars on this perfectly clear night.

He seats you on a bench, taking a the spot next to you. He leans back and looks up at the stars.

You can’t look away from his face, so you simply watch him watching the twinkling in the skies.

He gently takes your hand in his. “I never wanted to take my father’s place. I never wanted to be like him or like he wanted me to be. I was always such a rebel. I wanted to ruin the world around me, pay it back for all the pain that I had been through. There was nothing that I was looking forward to, being forced to fit in the mold that my father made for me. When they had announced that Dimitri would be executed it made my father physically ill. The kingdom had fallen that day to him. He had no hope left. He stopped pushing me to get married. He couldn’t arrange anything, not knowing who would come out victorious. He didn’t know if he would be keeping his position or would the Empire trample him into the ground. He stopped leaning on me that I would have to be the next margrave, not having any idea how long he was to be the current one. I no longer had anything to defy, to rebel against. I pulled back. I had to learn how to take care of myself properly. Then we came back for the reunion. I had been feeling sorry for myself, then I found out you had lost everything. I saw how strong you had become. Even though you had nothing you had such passion to help everyone else to be better. It was so beautiful. I had never seen anything so beautiful. It wasn’t just a smile, a pretty face, it was radiating from so deep within you. I wanted to be near you, that’s why I had offered to help you, just to be near you. I knew I wasn’t worthy of you. But if I helped you at least I could be close to you. When Cornelia hurt you, I went mad. I thought you were dead. Felix brought me back, telling me we had to finish what you started. I wanted to talk to you after you were recovering, but then we were pulled into Derdriu and went to Enbarr right after that. And then I had to go back to Gautier. After the war, when I went back I thought my father would lord over me, make me continue to do everything his way. But he’s become tired. My parents are going to move to the coast to spend the rest of their days. Managing Gautier is left to me to handle as I see fit. I’ve been working on reaching out to the Sreng, to see if we can find peace between us. Everyone is so tired of the fighting. I know I am. Maybe I could be the Margrave, but I can’t do it alone. I’d like you to help me, teach me to be a good leader, to do right by my people. I would do anything and everything for you.”

You squeeze his hand. “At the reunion I noticed a big change in you. I wanted to talk to you about it but the war never let us have five minutes to ourselves. I noticed you were behaving differently. I wanted so badly to talk to you after we won back the capital, but the war jumped between us again. Maybe the only way I can have an opportunity to speak with you for any length of time would be to go to Gautier with you.” You grin at him.

“I really don’t deserve you.” He puts his arm around you for a half hug. “I know you are so good with the people. Everyone here loves you.” He rests his cheek on the top of your head.

You’re beginning to become flustered. At the moment you miss the old flirty Sylvain. He’s acting..shy? Inviting you to Gautier sounded like a business transaction more than inviting a woman over. “Are you seeing anyone right now? Have you decided what you want to do for yourself?” you ask.

“Uh. No. I haven’t really thought about it for a long time. Its like once the pressure was off from my father, I just didn’t need to do that anymore. But yeah, I want to get married to a woman that I love, maybe have children, and shower them with as much love as I can muster. Make peace with the Sreng. Make the people of Gautier happy too. What about you? Are you seeing anyone? What do you want?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to get married and have children. Now that the war is over that certainly is a possibility.” You begin. “And you know I like to help people, help them help themselves. I am seriously considering a job offer that I feel I am qualified for. I’m thrilled to find that someone I have been interested in for quite a while is currently single. So things are looking pretty good.” You look up at his face smiling.

Sylvain looks down at you smiling, but unsure.

Your hands slide up his chest, going around his neck and you pull him down toward you, finally he gets the idea and bends down to kiss you gently.

“That took you forever.” You gasp smiling up at him.

“I thought I had already missed my chance. I thought at least if I could be near you that would be fine.” He smiles, kissing you again.

“Ever since I saw you at the reunion, I could tell you were different in the best sort of way. You weren’t hiding behind a mask, you were acting like yourself. As long as you be your true self with me, I will always want to be near you.” You hold Sylvain tightly under the stars.

*****Epilogue

The wedding is the following spring. Both of you frequently travel all about Gautier territory, constantly talking with the people and responding to their needs. You find some people that speak Sreng and learn the language and culture well enough to be able to parlay and work towards a peace agreement. You give up some of the Gautier lands that the Sreng say are important to them. In turn they pay for this property with many rare minerals and jewels that are from their lands. You use this money to improve the roads and lives for the people of Gautier. Sylvain does spoil you rotten. You have at least 8 children and have no idea if any has a crest, not that you care. The Lance of Ruin is given to Byleth to do whatever she wants with the horrid weapon.

#fe3h x reader #fe3h #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fe16 #sylvain jose gautier #my stories #sylvain x reader

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