Knowing that your replaceable is the worst feeling. It proves that you were never needed, nor wanted, and that your absence wouldn't be a burden to anyone. That you aren't one of a kind. In fact, there are multiple different versions of you that are far better. You didn't leave a trace on anyone, and all that remains of your existence is a blur in a memory because you were only temporary for them. That even if someone cared, they would move on in a week, month, or year? All your efforts and attempts were wasted, no matter what you do, they still move on to someone better and leave you behind yet again. They never truly appreciated you to the amount that you did them, and mourning the loss of you would be pointless when you never really mattered to them in the first place.
141 notes
·
View notes
Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!!
Well, after talking about figs yesterday, what do we do about figs that don't get eaten and have become past their prime? Well, we could just leave them there but that would get unsanitary. What we need to do is put them inside something where all the disgusting and discarded objects in one's home can go so they can be transported to an even larger place where all the disgusting and discarded objects in everyone's’ home can go. That's right, I'm talking about a trash can or bin or dumpster or whatever you call it! Expired food? Throw them in! Used napkins? Throw them in! Obliterated game consoles? Throw them in! Direct to DVD animated movies? Throw them in with certain exceptions! Trash-tier anime waifus? THROW THEM IN! That's right! If you don't want something anymore, just chuck it in the bin and forget about till Monday! Waste not, want not but if we are going to waste, it's nice to know that there is a plastic and/or metal canister where all the waste can disappear to for a brief time then disappear forever! Just remember to not put anything living in there. Life is precious, don't waste it! That would be messed up. So yeah, trash cans are wonderful...and smelly.
46 notes
·
View notes
i transcend in bits
in dire twists
in fragments
we attach ourselves
in the slightest
details of our desires
forming fires and liars
relationships always expire
in death we kiss
swaying in bliss
two bits and a tease
words against my knees
i paint you darkened poetry
slicing your tongue so you can breathe
we sleep in oasis
dreaming of mauritius
we break knees to twist
shift gears to drift
away from nights
on top of mountains
screaming names we can hardly remember
have you ever sent roses
and had them retuned to sender?
embers sleep
like you and we
words against a chest
pressed upon a beat
we make moments out of memories
scream names for sense
all things eventually end
as does our heartbeat
return to sender
words by dominic riccitello
26 notes
·
View notes
I am intrigued with combining the remnant of memories, fragments of relics and ordinary objects, with the components of technology. It's a way of delving into the past and reaching into the future simultaneously.
~Betye Saar~
40 notes
·
View notes
Someone in my life, someone that pursued a relationship with me, has put up a boundary and chosen to exit my life because I trigger them.
EDIT: Despite what I wrote earlier in the day while emotionally charged (see below…) I’m choosing to believe this decision is what’s best for the other person, so it will be what is best for me.
Sometimes people leave our lives for reasons that have nothing to do with us and everything to do with choosing to care for themselves first… and that’s okay. I’m trying not to internalize and to instead regroup and keeping moving forward in my search for more genuine human connection.
feel the feeling, sit with it, let it go, stretch: grow forward
🧠
Logically I understand this person is doing what they need to do to keep themselves safe but it’s guttting to have it confirmed that I’m the fucking problem.
baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi
he don't wanna know me
says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm
says it was poison
I left this friend on read on Monday while I wrapped up a 20 hour shift that went through the night. It was also my son’s birthday so after working those 20 hours I dragged my bones home to sing my son happy birthday. I fell asleep on the couch and then it was Tuesday and I was rushing to work where I got battered a bit by my inability to get things done on time and so I didn’t respond to him until I was walking into my home Tuesday and … I triggered him. My inability to communicate triggered him and for him it was the last straw.
I had probably triggered him a dozen times before. Too chaotic, too childish, too self absorbed, too scattered, too flighty, too much.
He said he thought he had a problem with alcohol and a problem with our friendship. He never did quit drinking but he sure as fuck quit me.
Too much. Too much. Too much. Between the bpd and the adhd… Always too much.
I thought this person was my friend. I … do not understand why I am so delusional in believing I can make an actual friend but it’s exhausting to keep trying.
People, men in particular, will seek me out looking to fill their needs… she’s so full of life, she’s so funny, she’s so pretty, she’s so wonderful, she’s got such a “good heart”.
I try to be open and kind and honest and myself… I stupidly allow myself to be VULNERABLE…. again and again … and then once they’re done with me, it’s directly to the nearest trash. 🚮
the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy
‘til all of the tricks don't work anymore
and then they are bored of me
i know that it's exciting running through the night, but
every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone
better on my own
I’m so toxic he can’t even speak to me anymore. 🙂
Everybody agrees.
Friends communicate. Friends work it out. Friends … TRY. Were you ever really my friend? Why not communicate with me? Maybe we both could have grown… but it’s not even worth the fucking effort. I’m not even worth the effort.
The reality of being the manic pixie dream girl is so fucking lonely and gutteral. It’s being the fucking pretty positive ray of sunshine everyone wants to talk to, but the person no one wants once they get to know.
11 notes
·
View notes
Discarded — Ric Ambrose
Drawing (graphite/pencil/colored pencil), 72" x 32" x 1", 03/09/2023
Presented at The deYoung Open 2023 (ID #37)
Sold
Artist statement:
The complex patchwork of urban and human elements in my immediate surroundings holds tremendous fascination for me. I am particularly struck by the ironies and paradoxes found in both the micro and macro world that surrounds us. My panoramic drawings are a compilation of disparate images stitched together and interwoven much like reconstructing a memory or recollected experiences.
My large-scale work is drawn from my journeys throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, immersed in its diversity of architecture, landscape, people and the paradoxes of human interaction and disengagement.
Ric Ambrose is an artist based in Richmond, CA who specializes in panoramic black-and-white graphite drawings. To view this image in higher quality, learn more about Ambrose's life and work, and view his other creations, visit ambrosedrawings.com . You can also find him on Instagram @/ambrosemric or on his Facebook page.
The deYoung Open is a triannual exhibition featuring artwork by California-Bay Area creators. The most recent exhibit was on display at The deYoung Museum in San Francisco from 09/30/2023 to 01/07/2024. To learn more and view a digital gallery of all 883 pieces that were featured, visit deyoungopen.artcall.org . And if you're an artist from Alameda, Contra Costa, Marin, Napa, San Francisco, San Mateo, Santa Clara, Solano, or Sonoma County, you should consider making a submission for 2026! Applications will probably go live in early June 2026, so you have some time to plan :)
I am not an affiliate of The deYoung Museum, Ric Ambrose, or any of the artists featured in The deYoung Open 2023. I'm just posting to celebrate some amazing CA artists. If you are the artist and would like me to take this post down or add additional credit, please message me on Tumblr.
5 notes
·
View notes