We Should Kiss Like Real People Do
Summary: It's Game Night at Cyno's house for the still-only friends 4ggravate crew, and Kaveh is making margaritas for their first round of Genius Invokation TCG. Yet, the alcohol keeps flowing, and by the third round of TCG, the air becomes a bit more charged with something other than competitiveness. (Author's Note at End)
Content: 2,417 words, rated mature, 4ggravate, Kaveh/Cyno/Tighnari/Alhaitham
CW: Drinking (until drunk), but read tags just in case
Crossposted on AO3
Kaveh rolled his eyes, his blush fading as he began to shake the margarita mix and tequila together, ice clinking inside the metal cup. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him as he poured a bit more tequila than necessary into it and shook it again before pouring it into the four glasses. Grudgingly, he took out the lime Cyno had sliced up and perched a slice on Alhaitham’s glass, just as he liked it.
“Alright you vultures, there you go,” he said, taking his and sipping from it. He hummed. He mixed it well.
Alhaitham gave him a leery look as if Kaveh might have poisoned his drink before taking a slow sip. He sat quietly for a moment before saying, “You can’t save money, but you can make a good margarita. Maybe you should quit being an architect and ask Diluc for a job.”
“And maybe you should get a job as a professional shit-talker,” Kaveh shot back. He wouldn’t lie and say he hadn’t considered doing architecture on the side, but when it came from Alhaitham’s mouth, it seemed utterly ridiculous.
“You’d make crazy money being a professional shit-talker,” Cyno piled on with a small smile. “You know, people pay to be degraded because they find it arousing. I bet you’d be good at that.”
Kaveh and Tighnari burst out laughing, and Alhaitham grumbled about how he’d never indulge strangers in such a lascivious way, looking down at his drink.
“Okay, okay,” Tighnari said around his laughter. “Game time, game time.” He slid off the counter, tail swinging back and forth and patting Alhaitham on the shoulder as he walked past.
They all followed him, Cyno flipping off the kitchen light as they settled around the dining room table.
Set-up went quickly, and soon, they were rolling the first dice of the game. By the second round, their glasses were empty, and Cyno brought out the spiked lemonade and straight vodka.
“You bastard,” Kaveh swore at Alhaitham as he officially killed his Nahida.
Alhaitham stared at him, gaze sharp yet slightly unfocused. “Play better then,” he replied.
“Ha!” Cyno yelled. He’d dealt enough damage to take Alhaitham’s Raiden down to 1. In victory, he downed a shot of vodka.
“Don’t celebrate, Cyno,” Tighnari said, cheeks flushed. He had stacked an artifact and dealt damage to all three of Cyno’s cards.
“You!”
Dice clattered across the table, and Kaveh felt a little unsteady, even sitting down as he finished his third spiked lemonade. Gods, he was going to be so hung over tomorrow. At least Cyno always let them spend the night.
The drunker he was, the less Alhaitham talked, and he was silent as he ended the last of Kaveh’s cards with a lazy swipe of his hand. Kaveh didn’t even know how much Alhaitham had drunk, but he didn’t care.
“How can you do that, Haitham?” Kaveh cried out, staring at his cards and then at Alhaitham’s two remaining. “It’s unfair you can’t be this good.”
“Yeah, you totally wrecked him,” Tighnari added, tapping on Kaveh’s Yoimiya. “You even got Yoimiya.”
“I’ll beat him, Kaveh, no worries,” Cyno said, eyes bright even as he missed the dice he grabbed for.
“It doesn’t matter, I lost!” Kaveh said and sat back, crossing his arms. “Again!”
“You talk too much for someone who always loses,” Alhaitham said. Kaveh was envious of his steadiness. Alhaitham always seemed to hold his liquor better than the rest of them, the only sign he was drunk was being quieter than usual and sleeping for way too long. “Shut up.”
“Make me.”
Alhaitham stood up and Kaveh scooted back in his seat, suddenly a little nervous.
“Uh oh,” Tighnari whispered, his ears drooped against his head from the alcohol.
Uh oh indeed, Kaveh thought as Alhaitham stalked over.
“Joking, Haitham, joking!” Kaveh exclaimed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. He scrambled out of his chair to put a few feet between him. He didn’t think Alhaitham would truly hurt him, but he had no clue what Alhaitham would do to make him shut up.
“Didn’t sound like a joke to me,” Alhaitham replied, closing the distance. His eyes glimmered, and Kaveh could smell the vodka mixed with Alhaitham’s cologne.
Before he could get him, Kaveh darted away, inserting himself between Tighnari and Cyno. He stumbled, catching himself on the back of Tighnari’s chair because his scrambled brain lied to him about where the floor was.
“I would stop running if I were you,” Cyno quipped, looking over Kaveh’s shoulder and leaning away. “I don’t think you’re getting out of this one, Kaveh.”
“No, no, I will not stop. I will not shut up until Alhaitham stops being a mean ass mmph–” Kaveh’s words were muffled as Alhaitham grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss, Alhaitham’s hands clutching his face.
“Oh shit,” Tighnari said somewhere in the distance.
Kaveh didn’t breathe, didn’t even try to speak as the world practically dissolved around him. Alhaitham was so fucking mean, so ornery, but damn, them kissing felt so right, like a key sliding into your home’s front door lock. His lips tasted like the lime he’d sucked on and the peach vodka he kept at Cyno’s house to keep Kaveh out of it. Kaveh dug his fingers into the bunched-up fabric of Alhaitham’s white button-up, a small whimper leaving him.
With a quiet grunt, Alhaitham pulled away, shaking his head. “See, you shut up just fine,” he said and sat back down in his chair.
Kaveh blinked hard, drunk brain trying to catch up. Wordlessly, he sat down. He touched his lips and stared at Alhaitham. Was it merely to shut him up? An excuse?
Cyno and Tighnari shifted in their seats. Kaveh couldn’t tell if they were uncomfortable or…something else.
“So, what are you two waiting for? We have a game to finish,” Alhaitham muttered and rolled his dice. Cyno and Tighnari startled as if they were in a trance but nodded.
Still shocked, Kaveh got up and went into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and sipped it, hoping to sober up. Alhaitham…kissed him. And fuck, if Kaveh said he didn’t want to kiss his stupid face again, he’d be a liar. From the dining room, he heard Tighnari lose his last card with a groan and his chair scrape across the wooden floor. Within a few seconds, Tighnari joined him in the kitchen with a quiet giggle.
“You know, Kaveh, Alhaitham might have had the right idea,” Tighnari said, leaning into Kaveh’s space. His ears flicked briefly up before drooping back down, his tail beginning to wag.
Absently, Kaveh petted Tighnari’s ears like he always did during their movie nights when Tighnari curled up between him and Cyno. “What do you mean?” he asked, not even thinking much of it as he nursed his glass of water.
“You can’t be that stupid from the alcohol,” Tighnari muttered, his tail wagging harder at Kaveh’s gentle hands on his ears. He grabbed the front of Kaveh’s shirt, pulled Kaveh to his height, and kissed him. Kaveh almost dropped his glass, fingers going limp at Tighnari’s insistent movements, pressing against him and nipping at his lips.
“Fuck,” Kaveh mumbled against Tighnari’s mouth, shakily setting down the glass before tangling his fingers in Tighnari’s hair. It felt similar to kissing Alhaitham but more passionate like Tighnari wanted to devour him. Gods he was fucked. Did friends do this? Kiss each other when they were drunk?
Tighnari pinned Kaveh to the counter, his feverishly hot hands beginning to slide under Kaveh’s shirt when they heard a shout of victory from Cyno. They jumped apart as if burned, Tighnari panting and Kaveh dazed.
Before they could even recover, Cyno bounded into the kitchen, practically singing. “See told you I would win, Kaveh!” Cyno crowed and ruffled Kaveh’s hair, seemingly oblivious to his and Tighnari’s states. Cyno picked up Kaveh’s glass and downed the water. Alhaitham wandered in, eyes sticking to Kaveh immediately.
Kaveh felt his face turn redder. Alhaitham looked…odd.
“Alright, alright, movie time!” Cyno said, wrapping an arm around Kaveh and Tighnari’s shoulders and dragging them into the living room, past the dining table with their abandoned cards and glasses. Kaveh stumbled over his feet, grabbing onto Cyno’s waist to stop himself from smashing his face on the floor. They were practically thrown on the couch, Alhaitham calmly following after and sitting much closer than usual to Kaveh.
“We’re watching Spiderman,” Cyno continued. “Into the Spiderverse.”
“Well, I’m laying down,” Tighnari mumbled, laying across their three laps as if it was nothing. And it was, for the most part. Tighnari did often lay across their laps during movie night but never drunk and never with three out of the four of them so…tense.
Kaveh watched as Cyno’s hand crept possessively into Tighnari’s hair, petting his ears as the opening credits rolled. And Alhaitham, usually not touchy, laid his hand on Tighnari’s calf. Kaveh rested his hands on Tighnari’s hip, unsure of what else to do because Tighnari usually had his head in Kaveh’s lap.
Ten minutes passed, and Kaveh could feel Alhaitham’s free hand sneaking into his hair, stroking softly. It was heartbreakingly tender, enough so that Kaveh wondered if the universe really had come up with nicer clones of people and had replaced Alhaitham at some point in the night. He wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t dare to possibly break the moment hanging between all of them. Instead, Kaveh closed his eyes and rested his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder. If his roommate was going to be nice, he would take advantage of every second of it.
Rough fingers brushed against his cheek, bringing with them the woody scent of bergamot and amber wood. Cyno. They traced over his cheek, over his lips, then across his jawline, as if he was trying to map Kaveh’s face.
With the weight of Tighnari in his lap and Cyno and Alhaitham touching him, Kaveh thought that it was something like heaven, the heaven he dreamed about when he hugged a pillow to sleep at night. His body felt heavy and slow as he drifted off, this moment seared into his memories.
A/N: Okay y'all, don't kill me. This is my first ever Genshin fic, and to be honest, I'm only AR 27 so I have not gotten to Sumeru like...at all. These four have been rotting my brain even before I started playing, but since I genuinely haven't had any in-game interactions with them, I've only begun to get an idea of their characterization and their dynamics from other fans (and reading the Wiki). So, I am open to constructive criticism for their characterization and dynamics! I do intend to continue this as a series, so feedback is really important.
Title from "Like Real People Do" by Hozier
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Hello! I saw you were taking requests and I was wondering if you could write a fic or a small prompt in T.F.P. where the human!reader is new to the team and is very outgoing and flirty but shy around her curhses and she becomes friends with her teammates as an agent herself? Maybe O.P. becomes smitten after a while with her? Hmmm? And everyone just notices and teases them about being a couple when they aren't, but they're both in denial and drunk shenanigans ensue with the reader being drunk and flirty towards him and teasing him? ^^ You can always add anything new of course! I got this idea when reading fluff and the song "Moves Like Jagger" kind of reminded me of the potential dynamic? Especially, the-
"Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss til you're drunk
And I'll show you"
TFP Optimus Prime X Flirty! Reader
Mentions of Drinking Alcohol!
Hope this is okay lol
Fowler had brought you into the fold simply out of desperation- the poor man just wanted to take a vacation and all of the paperwork prevented him from doing so. He knew that while you weren’t always professional, you were the best damn agent they had.
When you were introduced to the bots, the first thing you said to Optimus was “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” while winking.
Agent Fowler immediately face palmed.
You became quick friends with pretty much all of the bots. Arcee because of your war stories, Bulkhead because you always had time for his ‘stupid’ questions, Ratchet because of your aptitude for Cybertronian medicine, and Bumblebee because you were just generally friendly. Optimus was hard to make friends with at first because of his reserved personality, but you both discovered your shared love for reading.
You and Optimus often read books at the same time and talked about them- like a book club, but just for the two of you. For someone who takes almost nothing seriously, you are very intelligent. He sees why you are one of the best agents.
While they all became friends quickly, that didn’t mean they supported your flirting. You would often flirt to ease an awkward silence, or lighten the dark mood that so often sets on the base.
There was a great victory against the Decepticons- a mine was taken right from under their noses which led to a lot being added to their reserves. Some of the energon was of a higher concentration- to which you learned was called high grade.
Optimus noticed that the morale in the base was low, despite getting a great win against their foes. This led you to suggest a party. So a party he had. All of the kids were sent home early, and you drove with Bumblebee to pick up vodka and some mini-shot bottle shots.
Once you got back to the base, you all began the party. Somehow, you managed to get the normally serious Prime to have a drinking challenge with you. So there you were: chugging down straight vodka while Optimus chugged an energon cube. The other bots (with Ratchet being the loudest somehow) began cheering. You beat Optimus much to everyone’s surprise. They didn’t think a small thing like you could beat them in any drinking game.
Once the excitement of the drinking game calmed down, everyone but you and Optimus went to bed.
You both sat across from each other talking about your pasts. What you did before you came to be at the base and all that.
“You used to be an archivist? Like a librarian?” A grin pulled onto your face. "Can I get a reference number?” Optimus blinked a confused look. “So I can, y’know, check you out?” You slurred.
A loud bark of a laugh came from the Prime. “Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d never be a free person.”
You nearly spit up your vodka with laughter. “Didn’t know you could flirt, Op!"
An uncharacteristic smirk came across his face as he made his way over to you. He leaned down near your ear, and whispered “There’s a lot I can do.”
You couldn't help the huge blush that covered your face as you suddenly got shy. "Better cool it before I have to kiss you!" You tried to maintain your cool persona, but when he leaned in and grabbed your chin you just melted into a flustered mess.
In the morning, Ratchet had the worst hangover. He grumbled as he made his way into the medbay, only to freeze. There you and Optimus were. Optimus was laying up against the wall at an angle while you laid on his chest snoring away.
Ratchet couldn’t help the small smile that wormed onto his face as he left the room, shutting the lights off behind him.
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Good Omens: a drunken kiss
Masterlist
Words: 838
Summary: Aziraphale confesses his love to you :)
Warnings: drunkeness, alcohol, but also fluff, this is cute I promise ;)
In the dimly lit corners of the cozy bookshop, a gentle hum of silence settled over the shelves stacked high with ancient tomes. The angel Aziraphale sought solace in the familiar embrace of his beloved books. It was where he could drown out the chaos of the celestial affairs with the whispers of wisdom on his shelves. But tonight was different. The usually composed and innocently cheerful Aziraphale had found himself surrendering to the intoxicating allure of a few fine bottles of Châteauneuf-du-Pape. He sat perched on a weathered chair at the desk, his usually hidden wings now visibly folded neatly behind him and his nifty glasses slightly askew. The soft glow of ceiling lights danced across his face, casting ethereal shadows that mirrored the conflict within his heart, the inner discord of being torn apart by the love he felt for you and his duty as angel to not meddle in the affairs of a mortal without Heaven's approval. It was then, in the midst of his inebriated musings, that the door to his bookshop swung open with a gentle chime of the tiny bell. The sound startled him, causing him to spill a drop of wine onto his desk, missing the ancient book in his hands within an inch, which he quickly miracled away, almost cursing under his breath. In his haze of drunken confusion, he blinked repeatedly until he could make out the silhouette of your delicate figure standing in the doorway. In that moment, time seemed to cease as Aziraphale's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed heavily. The air around him grew thick with anticipation and he felt the goosebumps forming on his pale skin as he drowned in chaotic waves of euphoria. Here, in his own little shop, stood the embodiment of everything he held dear, the object of his secret affections, malicious tongues might claim it was rather secret lust, but he felt ashamed at the thought. He was an angel, he should be virtuous, a protector, a calm bystander, lust was reserved for the likes of Crowley, the demon who grew on him over the last millennia. You entered cautiously, as if sensing the gravity of the moment, approaching the angel slumped in the chair painfully slow. Your eyes met Aziraphale's and a hint of recognition flickered in your gaze. The bookshop, once a paradise of solitude, seemed to shrink in size, morphing into a sanctuary where two souls inexorably converged. Aziraphale's voice, usually so eloquent, suddenly failed him in your presence. He stuttered, trying to find the right words to say but all he could do was to get lost in the drumming of his racing heart. Your eyes crinkled with a gentle understanding, as if you were trying to decipher the tumultuous intoxicated emotions that swirled beneath his crumbling facade. And then, with a gentle smile, you broke the silence.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, but", you whispered shyly, "Aziraphale, are you alright?"your voice carrying a hint of concern as you spotted the many empty wine bottles scattered around his desk.
He struggled to form a coherent sentence, his mind tangled amongst the intoxicating blend of love and the sacred wine. In that moment, he made a decision, probably against all divine rules concerning the interaction between angels and humans, fueled by liquid courage and a desire to finally reveal his, cursed but, true feelings.
"Forgive me, my dear," Aziraphale began, his voice tinged with vulnerability, "but I find myself utterly smitten by your presence. Every moment spent in your company feels like, pardon my blunt pun, hellish torture and I cannot bear to keep these emotions hidden any longer. I-I-I love you!"
Your eyes widened at his sudden confession, searching his face for sincerity amidst those drunken words. A hushed silence filled the air, anticipation hanging like a delicate thread between the two of you. Time seemed to stand still as you teetered on the precipice of possibility. And then, unexpectedly, a mischievous smile curved your lips as you walked up to the angel, placing your hands on the armrest, caging him as your face moved up to his, the tip of your nose almost brushing his.
"Oh, my silly lovable angel," you whispered, your voice brimming with affection, "I feel the same but never dared to say anything because, well you know, virtuous angels and such."
A smile played on both your lips as you struggled to contain a giggle. It was an absurd notion, the idea of a pure angel like Aziraphale entangled in the complexities of love. But love always has a way of defying expectations, and in the midst of uncertainty, the spark finally dare to fully ignite between you both. Leaning in closer, you closed the small distance between you. Your lips met in a soft, tender kiss, unlocking a world of emotions you never knew existed. Time seemed to stand still as you experienced the blissful sensation of your first touch, a moment that felt both otherworldly and utterly perfect.
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