#fucking best quote of him

[weird-middle-school-books]

“that’s right I’m monetizing my relationship with my dad” - Taylor Swift

#fucking best quote of him #honestly I feel like it sums his character up pretty well #also just really funny without context #dndads #dungeons and daddies #taylor swift dndads #nick foster

[astaroth1357]

"MC, Who's Best in Bed??":

*on an average HoL morning, the MC is trying to enjoy a cup of tea in the dining room but there's been nothing but shouting in the House for about an hour now... They’re nearly at their wits end when the seven culprits come marching in the room themselves, glaring at esch other. Before MC can even speak, Asmo takes initiative and slams his hands down onto the table, making their teacup clatter*

Asmo: MC, you have to be the one settle this! Which one of us is best in bed???

*the MC... almost does a spit take*

MC: Excuse me???

Mammon: You heard'em! You outta know by now, so who is it??

*the MC looks at their demons like they've gone mental, but seven pairs of eyes stare back at them expectantly, hell, even determinedly. Seeing that they likely can't weasel out of this, the MC gives in with a sigh*

MC: .... Do you really want to know?

Asmo: Of course!!

Satan: We promise we'll be alright with whoever you choose...

Mammon: But it's gonna be me, right??

Satan: Shut up, Mammon!! 😡

MC: Well... if I have to pick...

MC: It's gotta be Lucifer.

Lucifer: *smiles REAL wide for a guy who's been pretending that this conversation is juvenile and beneath him...*

Lucifer: Well. I think that settles that.

*he walks over and arrogantly kisses the back of MC's hand while his brothers all groan somewhere between irritation and disappointment...*

Mammon: Look what ya did, MC, he's never gonna get over himself now!!

Lucifer: Mammoooon?

Mammon: 😨 Shit!

MC: It is Mammon, actually.

Mammon: Eeh-?? Er, s-SEE I TOLD YA!!

*he tries to act proud, and he is, but it's pretty obvious to everyone that he got caught off guard and is flustered as hell*

Mammon: W-who else could it be but the Great Mammon? Right??? This is why I'm their first!!

*Mammon continues to loudly bluster and gloat as MC gets up from the table, taking their teacup with them*

MC: It sure is~

*they peck him on the cheek, which bluescreens his brain while his brothers scoff in disgust*

Belphie: Geez, at least get a room first guys... 🙄

MC: You won’t believe me, but it's Levi.

*the brother stop, collectively look at each other, and then shake their heads*

All (INCLUDING Levi): We don't believe you.

MC: *shrugs nonchalantly and takes another sip of tea* What'd I tell ya?

Asmo: MC, you can't be serious...

MC: *looks him dead in the eye* Two. Dicks. Need I say more? Because I can! He can also-mph!!

*a confused MC gets a hand clamped over their mouth by a mortified Levi, who's still puttering around to figure out how he should feel*

Levi: M-MC! Please...!! 😣

Satan: So there ARE some things that better left unknown... Fantastic... 😰🤢

MC: It’s actually you, Satan!

Satan: *blinks* Eh? Oh really...?

*already turning his head towards Lucifer with a BIG shit-eating grin*

Satan: What do you know? Looks like we've heard it, haven't we?

Lucifer: *angerily covering up his frustration behind a stone cold poker face* So we have... Not that it matters.

Satan: Hm. Your face says otherwise. 😏

Lucifer: Don't push your luck....

MC: Asmo. It's Asmo, it's obviously Asmo!!

Asmo: THANK YOU!!

Asmo: Honestly, it's like no one understands my job description here!!

Asmo: I can, will, and do fuck better than all of you! You just have to accept that. 😌

Mammon: Ugh! Give it a rest already... 😮‍💨

MC: You know what? It's Beel.

*the brothers stop and collectively look at their absolute UNIT of a sibling.... then breathe a combined sigh of defeat*

Beel: *flustered pink from embarrassment, but still very happy to hear it* Thank you, MC. 😊

MC: You're welcome, Beel! 🙂

MC: Weirdly enough, it's Belphie...

Belphie: What do you mean, "weirdly?"

MC: I mean, if we were just going based off resumes here, I wouldn't exactly put yours on top.

MC: But you're living proof "work smarter, not harder" are words to live by. Your technique is flawless!

Belphie: .... I'm not sure how to feel about this anymore....

Bonus:

MC: *gives a blank, thousand yard stare into the middle distance*

Mammon: Uhhhm.... MC? Still there?

MC: I just realized something... I'm really am going to Hell...

Levi: Huh? But you're already here...?

MC: *gets up from the chair and starts to jog away urgently* I think I need a priest...

Belphie: What? Why?? Is being here a problem to you??? 🤬

MC: *calls out as they skid past the doorway* It is because I'm fucking an angel!!! 😫

#honestly there is not a world where i see belphie as the best lay #he doesn't fuck you #you fuck him #which is fine if you like control #but that ain't the question #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me simeon

[laylakeating]

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS APPRECIATION WEEK DAY FIVE | favourite quote(s) → Percy's Greatest Hits

#pjoweek24 #pjoedit #percyjacksonedit #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #pjosource #userstream #usergif #userrajan #userneptune #userneve #userjustine #userbecca #usersadie #* #*gifs #*gfx #not massively fond of this honestly shjsh #there are some hits and some misses......however. SON !! #literally the best boy in the entire world that's crazy.... #pinecone's fate quote is soooo fucking funny too like what Possessed him to say that

[thecrowsart]

👁️🦎🎯

(crops under cut)

#natsume yuujinchou #matoba seiji #natori shuuichi #horrible exorcists #sorry i couldnt think of a caption i literally sat here for like 2 minutes lol #usually i use a quote from the scene or a lyric from a song but in this scene they're just Looking #anyway FUCK architecture #really though this is csp's perspective ruler's fault. i shoulda just done this by hand #but i made it work. since it wasnt super super complicated lol #ummm i feel like natori looks like a baby ceo but that is what he was wearing at least in the anime version of this scene #and midorikawa's kind of vague about clothes so i made it easy on myself #but why are you rolling up to the exorcist meeting in a navy blazer and tan chinos? #his uniform color is tan so ig the pants could be from that but the blazer...... #tryna represent the natori clan in front of the other exorcists ig idk #meanwhile matobas just in his gakuran lol #hes not the clan head yet so he can just be there as a kid #he even gets told off by takuma and called seiji-kun.....could you imagine like. #it's weird for him to not be matoba #anyway. um i completely kind of fudged the architecture because its hard to tell where exactly in the building this scene is and #i had a specific composition in mind #i only realized i messed up how the windows work like 3/4 of the way into lineart soooo #but thats the kind of thing only i would notice probably #btw i was originally drawing a different scene of them but i was faced with the reality of foliage. #and i remembered this romeo and juliet ass scene existed so #i chose architecture LOL #okay last thing. i feel like natoris haircut is too polished and nice but fr wtf is his canon hair #im doing my best LOL.........but boy #OKAY im done

[camels-pen]

the thing that fucks me up about zosopp is that while Zoro gets more serious and jokes around less as the series goes on, Usopp is still a little jokester. He still tells stories and plays with Luffy and Chopper- he knows when to get serious, but he also knows when to have fun.

And I bet it eats him up inside, seeing the man he loves slowly lock that part of himself away for the sake of being a strong and unwavering presence for the crew. How Zoro is constantly burdened with thoughts of how to keep the crew alive- how to best train to keep his crew alive. How he doesn't leave room for much else.

He makes room for Usopp though. For their crew- their family. And Usopp vows (hopes) to force him to make room for fun, too.

#one piece #roronoa zoro #usopp #zosopp #nemotime #just. its the funny guy x serious guy ship i cant NOT think about this #especially Post-Timeskip my god Zoro needs a good bellyaching laugh #quiet moments together has Usopp quote unquote 'trying out new jokes on Zoro' which is TECHNICALLY true #but he's not testing them out he's just trying to make Zoro laugh and loosen up more #the opposite side of this is Zoro trying to slow Usopp down with naps and also get him to focus more on the now rather than the what-ifs #they're both hypocrites but they're also really sweet #man that one zosopp anon really got me on a kick the last few hours #tbh this could be platonic too; seeing one of your best buddies like that would fuck anyone up

[skitskatdacat63]

Catie i need to know in the famous interview w ron dennis DID FERNANDO EAT AN APPLE OR A PEACH??????? This is important information and im getting conflicting data. It looks like an apple but in my head its always been a peach

Okay so I don't know how to find that interview itself but I did remember that they showed it in Nando's doc, so here:

The peach thing is a seperate thing. I understand why you'd be inclined to think it's a peach in this interview, bcs the peach thing is so iconic but this is def an apple. I like to think that this is just an extension of the peach thing. Because wasn't it that Ron Dennis hated any messy fruit eating? An apple is also messy honestly, so I like to think Fernando is particularly trying to be a bastard here as well, but a peach is perhaps too obscene to eat in a public interview SJFKVLV

#one of the best things about teh original peach story is the mention of his beard #it particularly mentions how the juices were in his beard #but huh what wasnt he specifically clean shaven in 2007 bcs of Ron Dennis' weird specifications?(shaven bald clean shaven etc) #but it just adds another layer to ir bcs he did in fact hsve a beard for literally like one weekend in 2007 #so not only is he eating a peach messily to fuck w ron but hes also ignoring his weird stipulations abt appearance as well 😭 #btw this is somewhat related but i cant stop thinking abt that flavio quote abt ron dennis not being able to be strict w nando #and i feel like ron dennis was strict but literally not in any way that would actually keep fernando in line yknow? #the whole haircut thing. thats not gonna make nando respect him itll just make him resent him #so maybe thats what flavio wss getting at #catie.asks. #fernando alonso

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

jasper moodboards are the funniest fucking thing on twilight tumblr i'm sorry

#...is it petty if i make this post? #too late i'm doing it anyway #oh my god #it's SO RIDICULOUS TO ME #i saw this one moodboard. the middle quote was a quote abt how hard it is to be an empath #and still take care of yourself #HE'S A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER LMAOOO #also even in canon he's not. like. particularly empathetic #he's just manipulative! he gets his power from being manipulative & 'charismatic'! #if anything the empathy is a curse that he EARNED #& is doing his best to ignore #like. he canonically wishes he wasn't an empath bc it makes it harder for him to EAT PEOPLE #so the pinterest mental health inspo quote really killed me #also there were a bunch of grainy aesthetic cowboy photos and like. #the cowboy aesthetic is. first of all. very funny to me #AND he's not a cowboy #he's (again) A CONFEDERATE CAVALRY OFFICER #THERE'S NO CANON EVIDENCE HE WAS EVER A FUCKING COWBOY #also. come talk to me about the actual fucking history of cowboying in texas #and get your fucking aesthetic photos out of here #did you know that most texas ranches pre-war (62%!) enslaved their cowhands? #ONCE AGAIN. HE'S A CONFEDERATEEEEEEEEE #(& the time when he was human would've been. not really the time for him to even feasibly be a cowboy? spanish fever & cattle quarantine <3 #so. anyways. #fanon jasper remains the funniest thing ever to me

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Oscar Delancey: Goddamnit! How many of you freaks do I have to fight?

Davey: Oh, I’m the only one that matters. See, you messed with my partner. And now? I am going to FUCK you.

Oscar: 😟

Everyone: …

Race: 😏

Spot: Well this just got interesting…

Jack: *whispering urgently* It’s fuck you up, Dave.

Davey: Wait- what did I say?

#this would be just as hilarious with Jack because -you know- our lord and savior Jeremy Jordan #but jack would never mess up a swear #Davey absolutely would #he’s been practicing all morning he did his best #also for anyone who says Davey would never say that lemme tell you #Davey Jacobs would go absolutely feral #davey literally shocks the newsies repeatedly #david jacobs is not a blushing wallflower #does no one remember him trying to fight multiple cops (to protect jack) in the film #mess with Jack? #Davey jacobs is going to f*ck you #did he fucking stutter? #racetrack has Angel dust energy #incorrect hazbin hotel quotes #incorrect newsies #lucifer morningstar #davey jacobs #sassy davey is best davey #hazbin hotel adam #jack Kelly #charlie morningstar #racetrack higgins #angel dust #wait what did I say #newsies #newsies 1992 #newsies stage show #newsies movie #jack Kelly has Charlie Morningstar energy #Hazbin hotel

[smolthealmighty]

Kotaro, holding up Tenko: “I made it with love.”

Kurogiri, snatching Tenko away: “You made it with love, but you still fucked it up.”

#bnha #bnha incorrect quotes #kurogiri #shirakumo oboro #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #shimura kotaro #dadgiri #another version of the classic ‘‘you fucked up a perfectly good kid is what you did… look he has anxiety!’’ #@ kotaro: when you try your best but you don’t succeed… and instead actively make things worse #it’s quite something isn’t it? that kotaro really did love his kid and wanted to keep him safe… #… but he just couldn’t manage his own trauma and due to that ended up giving tenko his own trauma #now kurogiri has to pick up the pieces while also being stuck under a manipulative bastard’s standards for child-rearing #anyway kurogiri is still best dad when it comes to the many father figures tenko/Tomura has has #this quote is from bar rescue #smol’s stuff #smol’s weird ass shit

[ladysophiebeckett]

#ysblf #betty la fea #mystuff #quote source: alice walker 'even as i hold you' earthling poems #didnt caption this bc i feel like it's self explanatory #also this scene is really fucking sad #i feel like we dont talk about betty's kindness enough #like even after everything and believing that he doesn't love her she still tried to give her best when he didn't deserve it #her goodbye here is an attempt at leaving a clean slate between them #and he knew yet again that something was off when she hugged him but he doesn't know what #her goodbye to him completely tainted after the meeting bc she didnt want to leave things like that between them #but he didn't give her a choice #depressing!!!!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Dave: Bro. Question. 

Bro: What lil man?

Dave: You know that song by hide, Beauty & Stupid?

Bro: I fucking love that song, why?

Dave is holding a reeeally long leash and there are large cat noises outside the front door.

Dave: Weeeell…you know how hide has that panther in the video…

#submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #Dave Strider #Bro Strider #Striders #Mod Nepeta #//i don't discriminate i support him cats are the fucking best

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF ATTICAN TRAVERSE: KROGAN TEAM

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Grunt With: Urdnot Wrex, Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus and The Rachni Queen I don't need luck- I have ammo. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #urdnot grunt #urdnot wrex #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #i finally finished gif’ing traverse and this set is cursed is all i will say :) #i don’t know why this one was such a pain in the ass but compressing them was a massive chore for some reason #and my dumb ass realized as i was assembling i set the frame hold wrong for like 4 of them so i had to go back and redo a few of them 🙃 #the thing that pissed me off most is that there’s usually a nice planet shot with a normandy fly in to make a header from #and traverse just doesn’t fucking get one for some reason?? so ig we get rachni queen header #i’m so sorry but this is like my least favorite mission in the game 😭 #like i do like grunt but this mission is just meh on all fronts to me at least #like the decision from ME1 to spare or destroy the rachni queen is so fucking cool?? and it has 0 consequences in ME3 LMAO #not to mention that half of this mission is just standing around with a flame thrower burning down webs lol #the only cool thing i’ll say is i ADORE the Aliens™️/xenomorph vibes that the mission has!! that is so cool the first time around #the cutscenes are alright but there’s really only some towards the front end and the back end? so you miss so much of the middle #which makes it hard to connect what’s going on to make a best of: set lol #grunt has some nice scenes if you have him here and the rachni queen quotes are cool #the enemies are also kind of interesting in concept? i just wish the rachni decision from ME1 had more weight here #james and EDI have a few nice lines towards the front in the shuttle but there’s not a ton of great dialogue like grissom has tbh #idk this mission is just okay to me i guess? like the ardat-yakshi sanctuary with samara is much more interesting to me #i feel like this one needed longer to cook and the rachni deserved more weight in the mission based on your decision in ME1 #james and EDI looked cute like always!! and soph ate it up in cleric’s guardian armors for shepard (which continues to be gorgeous ❤️‍🔥✨) #idk seeing grunt and playing fashion dress up was the best part of this mission besides the wrex cameo at the end lmao

[riderkaitlyn5]

North, reading a bedtime story: And then the princess was able to forgive the beast for-

South: How come the princess can forgive so easily but you can't forgive me after I broke your favorite mug?

North: How bout you shut the fuck up and listen to the story

#It was his Best Team Dad mug 😔 #York got it for him on Father's day as a joke but it backfired 'cause North loves it #or LOVED it #that mug has less life than Allison #but in all fairness to South she broke in on accident #she was throwing a shoe at Wyoming (he told a knock knock joke) and nailed the mug instead #North fucking WAILED in horror #South felt bad and like a good sister she got him another mug #although this one said Best Team Grandma #y'know to match the gray hairs the team gave him #York finds it hysterical but North does not give a flying fuck #he loves this one as well #he gave South a big ol' hug that she pretended to hate but she really loved it #what? can't have South seem like she cares or anything #she's gotta reputation to uphold #agent north dakota #agent south dakota #rvb #red vs blue #inccorect quotes

[choctalksalot]

what r they talkin about.... what r they even doin..........

#choc draws #homestuck #rose lalonde #dave strider #strilondes #tagged it as “dave stride” when i first posted cryimg #they are siblings and they care for each other #fuck old man yaoi strilondes are my best friend #i think dave can legally say him being white passing is a medical condition because albinism is half the reason don't quote me on that tho

[restingdomface]

Meng Yao: *selfie shot of his blitzed out face in the middle of the club with Xichen and Mingjue on either side* ‘When that last shot tastes a lot like you’ll be feeding ✨stray kitties✨ in a half hour~’

*scene change to Meng Yao passed out in the middle of a colony of very confused raccoons he keeps feeding outside his apartment*

#cause I’m good yeah I’m feeling alright baby Imma have the best fucking night of my life and wherever it takes me I’m down for the ride #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #mdzs #incorrect mdzs #incorrect untamed quotes #3zun #meng yao #modern au #he’s a gremlin too but not enough people lovr gremlin him #NMJ and LXC LOVE gremlin him #he’s been banned from the main jin family residence like seven times for setting off alarms and giving his sperm doner heart attacks #he’s actively being paid not to come near his dad anymore lmao he’s a menace #he’s having the best night on the ground with his kittens

[todayisafridaynight]

through the power of delusion and yuri i can make katase taller than aoki's secretary

#snap chats #sorry had to ask myself an important question. that being How Tall Are They #im not doing my usual Rocket Science Method of figuring out heights rn idc. i unplugged my tablet and im too lazy to get it #anywya i dont have exact heights rn. i have guesstimates but what i do know is that katase is. a lot taller than i thought . i think LOL? #again dont quote me i stg im trying to make yuri its not that serious but yeah im eyeballing and whatever #and even just eyeballing it like.. it could be an angle thing.. but katase just looks a lot more leveled with mine #like god bless both secretaries get a scene where they're pretty much lined up right with their boss right #and that both them bitches the same height istfg #but yeah no like. ROUGHLY the top of katase's head is right at the tip of mine's ear. or near the top. allegedly speaking hypothetically #aoki's secretary looks so SHORT next to him tho like even angles aside its really clear she's not the same height as katase #her head comes about at just right under his head or her forehead is right at aoki's chin #ANYWAY SPECIFICS ASIDE LIKE YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE KATASE'S TALL. ER. #proof that yuri's the best theres actual height differentiation.. my god.. #love how i make it seem like im ever gonna draw them again. im a lazy bastard we know me #i just wanna know if im thinking about them accurately... <- theyre my city at this point who the fuck gonna give one #ok bye im gonna think about women. also stealing the tag s4s Secretary for Secretary thats how im referring to them from now on #s4s.... love wins...