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wickedholl0w · 2 years

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The first kiss.

A/N: I wrote this chapter for a fanfic of mine that is being published and I thought it was so beautiful that I wanted to post it here too. I had to translate to English, so if there are any mistakes I apologize in advance.

Summary: Azriel takes Gwyn for training on an obstacle course in a forest on the outskirts of Ramiel, but there was more to it than the Valkyrie's training, a lake of warm, crystal-clear water that the spymaster asked Feyre to paint. a painting for Gwyn and gave her as a gift. What they both didn't expect was that that night they would have their first kiss.

Total words: 2163

Warnings: medium NSFW.

The sun was already setting and Gwyn could hear the roars of Illyria's beasts waking up, but she trusted Azriel to keep them away, and besides, she was so angry that she hadn't been able to make that path to hell in an hour that it would kill anyone just to take out the anger, even if she was staggering and tired.

The valkyrie braced her hand against a tree and looked ahead, her breath failing but turning fierce when she saw Azriel standing there, wings folded tightly behind him, hands behind, feet spread, shadows dancing around him and a damn smug smile on his face.

“I'll kill you,” she said his smile widened. “I definitely will.”

"Try your luck, Valkyrie," he said in a defiant tone and Gwyn drew strength from her that she didn't know she had.

She unsheathed a dagger and went for Azriel who quickly shifted into battle stance with a dagger in hand and they began a skirmish. Every hit she gave him was parried, as were the ones he gave her. Azriel didn't take it easy on her, had always been during his lessons.

Gwyn grunted and tried to hit him with a punch which amazingly succeeded, he even turned his face away, but her hand hurt badly. Azriel grinned more savagely than anything and quickly fought back and when Gwyn least noticed her back was to the ground, he mounted her with his knee against her chest and the blade of the dagger against her neck.

The valkyrie could hardly breathe and swallowed hard, looking at him with wide eyes as he looked at her in an even calm way and with a smile on his well-designed lips.

"Very well, you hit me, congratulations," he said and Gwyn narrowed her eyes making him laugh. His shadows coming to her and brushing against the cuts on her face. “ You are badly bruised.”

"Your fault," she said through gritted teeth.

“My? Who couldn't make such an easy ride without getting hurt was you” he said mockingly and Gwyn struggled trying to get him off her. “Whoa, whoa, calm down.”

“I'm furious with you.”

“With me? Or with you for not "beating" me?”

"Both," she said, slapping his thigh to get him off her and Azriel did so by getting up. He put the dagger away and held out his hand to Gwyn who snorted having to swallow her pride and took his wrist and he lifted it with a jerk bringing her to her feet.

"Let's talk later how it went," he said. “But now you need to clean up and rest.”

Gwyn put the dagger away and frowned like a child nodded.

"Then let's go home soon," she said.

“I don't think we need to,” he said turning his back and starting to walk.

Confused, she followed him through the trees and little by little a bluish light was emerging and when Azriel stopped and she stood beside him, she almost couldn't breathe at what she saw.

It was the blue lake in the painting that Feyre had given her as a welcome gift.

Much larger than she thought it would be, the water was crystal clear and a thin layer of steam hovered over it, white water lilies floating on the surface, small fireflies dancing through the warm white smoke, among the flowers and flying through the trees from the forest and when Gwyn looked up she saw Ramiel right there, the three stars crowning her.

"I thought you'd like to see it in person," Azriel said and she looked at he making him look at her.

Gwyn smiled and looked at the water, her body shivering under the battle leather and listening to a silent song as if the water called to her.

“I'll give you privacy” he said walking away and turning his back, but he stayed in a visible place.

The beautiful priestess then began to undress from her sweaty, blood-stained training clothes until she was wearing a white bra made of cotton and panties of the same fabric and color, not too small in the back. Gwyn released her sweaty hair and was soon ready to step into the water.

Slowly she put one foot inside the bank feeling the warm temperature and all the hairs on her body stood up and she took a deep breath feeling the pure smell of the water and as if she didn't command her movements she went in, very slowly, in total silence listening just the night bugs and the owls and the sound of the water lapping against your skin.

Gwyn then jumped into the water and her whole being seemed fulfilled, the deeper she went, more part of the water she felt, she could even dance in there and she was so deep that she could touch the sand at the bottom where hot water was welling up. She lay there submerged for long minutes, her red hair dancing along the water as she moved and her skin began to glow. She looked at the surface, seeing from afar the glow of the fireflies and the full blue moon that rose illuminating that clearing and then the priestess decided to emerge swimming with fluid until finally she was back on oxygen.

The ginger looked to the ledge she had come from and saw Azriel sitting there on a rock in silence and watching with his shadows dancing around him and Gwyn grinned at him which he returned with a small smile without showing his teeth. She then swam in strokes until she was close to him, in a place where she could stand up, but still covered her up to her shoulders.

“You not want to come in?” she asked and he raised his eyebrows. “The water is fine.”

"I imagine it is," he replied. “But I'll stop here.”

“Oh! Don't be boring, come on, come in” she gave a mocking smile. “Or are you afraid of the water, shadowsinger?”

Az narrowed his eyes and gave a smile that accepted the challenge. It was so easy to convince him.

The warrior rose and stood beside the rock. First he disarmed himself by placing all his blades on the stone and then off he took off his boots and socks, then the upper part of his leather suit and he was left with only his black pants. Gwyn wasn't going to ask if he was going to pull it out and she was sure he wouldn't when he started to enter the lake.

Shadows following him, huge wings trailing as he went deeper into the water and scarred hands skimming the surface until he was now close to Gwyn but keeping his distance.

“Then? It bited you?” she asked teasing him.

“Not yet,” he replied smiling small and she laughed. “Did you have fun down there?”

"It's wonderful," she said, wetting the red hair that floated around her again. “After the hellish day I spent, it was a treat.”

He gave a thick, rhythmic laugh.

“Don't be dramatic, it wasn't too bad” he said and she narrowed her eyes staring at him and then splashed water on him which opened his mouth in disbelief at her audacity.

“Was that an invitation to war, Berdara?”

“You bet it is” she replied confirming and he shook his head and then returned Gwyn's insult by throwing water at her who laughed.

Soon the two of them were throwing water at each other in a war, like two children, and she was laughing along with him, swearing at him, but they went on with it and she knew they would go on until one of them gave up, and Azriel knew that too well.

"You know, I have an advantage," he said.

“Oh yes? Which one?”

Before she had been silent, with his right wing Azriel practically threw a wave at her and Gwyn swore at him, which made him laugh.

“You bastard!” She said laughing and advancing on him. Surely she would try to drown him playfully, but the arrow came out backwards. Azriel grabbed her arms and lowered her into the water quickly sinking her and then lifting her up.

Gwyn had her eyes closed, breathing heavily, but she laughed as he did and then opened her eyes to meet his, both of them still laughing. She studied his wet face, his hair partially tossed back with a stubborn strand falling across his forehead, and looked at his smiling mouth. In that moment there was nothing but Azriel, except his mouth that seemed to be calling hers.

The action was faster than she thought when she brought her hands to his face and kissed him causing his laughter to stop. It wasn't a deep kiss, just a lingering lip seal that made her shiver like a green stick, her heart pounding madly in her chest, her belly cold and a feeling of fullness in her chest.

Gwyn pulled away from him, still holding that beautiful face in her trembling hands, their noses still touching, their eyes staring and her breathing was so labored that she wondered if she even knew how to breathe.

"I'm sorry," she said softly against his mouth and Azriel closed his eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath, his hands gripping her arms, squeezing there. “I shouldn't...”

" You should have," he said in a low voice, his breath blowing against her mouth. “By the gods, you should.”

Gwyn opened her mouth to say anything, but Azriel sealed her lips again and she didn't back down, on the contrary, she kept holding his face in her hands as his hands released her arms and one went to the back of her neck, taking it there and the other to your back.

She felt his tongue brushing against the line of her mouth asking for passage and still fearful she did and his tongue entered soon touching hers and sliding slowly over her. Hot, big, wet. A bolt of lightning seemed to pass through Gwyn's body and she put her hands in the spymaster's black hair, holding him there as their tongues danced slowly and willingly, making indecent little noises to be heard by both of them as their lips slid across the other's and the priestess moaned pulling her body closer to Azriel's and moaning again as her breasts pressed against his chest.

She wanted more, more of him, and she could tell by the growl that came from deep in his chest that he wanted more, too. Azriel's hands slid down Gwyn's back and down to her ass, going lower and he pulled her into his lap, this made their mouths separate for a few seconds, but then they met again with extreme urgency resuming that kiss and the valkyrie entwined Azriel's waist with her long, beautiful legs as his hands slid along them and up, going to her ass, her back, exploring every inch of Gwyn's skin.

Az stopped kissing her, however, the kisses went to her face and down her neck where he took a light bite and licked her making her moan and tighten her legs around him and sink her nails into his muscular shoulders. He pulled her closer so that her hips brushed against his and she could feel the hard bulge in his pants and that friction caused a shiver and pleasure in the top of her thighs.

She lifted her face, giving Azriel more freedom to kiss, lick, and suck on her neck as he pressed her against him, making her center throb even painfully. She wanted him, wanted him badly, but... When his kisses descended to her breast and that friction grew stronger between their hips, a painful memory came to her mind and she stopped him by pushing him lightly and Azriel looked her back.

"I don't think I'd go any further," she said, panting against his face and Az gritted his teeth hard, his body quivering as did his huge wings, but he nodded.

"Fine," he replied quietly.

She brought her hands to his face and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.

"Kiss me more," she asked. “Please.”

"No need to beg," he replied, giving her a quick peck and biting her lower lip lightly, pulling it between his teeth and Gwyn shivered with a soft moan. “I'm going to kiss you until you beg me otherwise, until you can't take it anymore.”

He smiled wide and so did she and then he kissed her again, their tongues meeting instantly returning to the slow, sensual dance Azriel commanded.

That was Gwyn's first kiss, in fact, the first moment she felt safe enough to be in a male's arms, and she was happy, so happy that her skin again began to glow as they kissed, and kissed, until their mouths were swollen and red, and even then, she didn't want to stop, she wanted to keep kissing him until the world ended.

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kiwi-muses · 2 years

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i would follow you

Azriel took his time flying from the River Estate to the House of Wind, enjoying the wind flowing through him and around him. In the weeks following Blood Rite, Azriel was trying to deploy spies closer to Koschei to determine his end game. Rhysand was still vehemently against Azriel himself going, something that chafed at him. He understood his brother’s protectiveness, but knew his efficiency was limited.

As he approached the House, he saw two figures sparring in the training ring, and two winged figures to the side. As he got closer, he saw a flash of red hair in the ring. Gwyn, he thought. That made the winged figures Cassian and Emerie, leaving Nesta sparring with Gwyn. He was fairly certain there wasn’t training today, though. He banked and landed, walking to join Cassian and Emerie. Cassian had a slight frown on his face as he watched Nesta and Gwyn. Azriel could hear grunts as hits connected; Gwyn and Nesta were a blur of fists, kicks, and blocks. Neither were pulling back. “Extra training session?” he asked Cassian.

He grunted in response. “Of a sort. Mor, Nes, and I were in the House, and Gwyn came up and said ‘It’s time to talk about that forgiveness.’ Nes just looked at her, went to change, and here they’ve been. Haven’t listened to me at all. Mor went to get Emerie. Emerie,” he drawled, “says this has been coming so she won’t intervene. They’ve been at it for over an hour; I thought they’d tire by now.” Azriel quirked his brow. Nothing Cass said made much sense.

Emerie snorted. “Not likely - Gwyn is angry. And nothing fuels her quite like anger.” If Azriel weren’t so good at controlling his features, his eyebrows would have hit his hairline. He didn’t know the priestess to become angry. Frustrated, but never angry.

Gwyn and Nesta broke apart, circling each other. Oh yes, Azriel could see the anger on Gwyn’s face now. Her teal eyes that normally reminded him of the sea were cold as ice, an expression he much more often associated with Nesta. He heard Nesta begin to speak. “I’ll admit, I didn’t expect forgiveness to look like fighting,” she said.

“Well you didn’t let me fight at the Breaking. Better late than never.”

“I will not apologize for choosing for you to live.” Nesta’s voice was hard. Azriel heard Emerie’s sharp inhale, and he felt a twinge in his chest. The Valkyries had informed them of the basics of the events in the Blood Rite, but he hadn’t realized Gwyn had come to the crossroads of not walking away alive.

“What happened,” murmured Cassian. Emerie took a steadying breath.

Quietly, as if she didn’t want the other Valkyries to hear her, Emerie recounted what happened on Ramiel. “At the Pass, Nesta said she’d fight off Bellius and the other males. Gwyn wanted to stay with her. But she’d lost too much blood and it would kill her. Nesta knew that. So she knocked her out, and I carried her the rest of the way up the mountain.” Cassian swore softly.

The priestess is loyal, his shadows whispered. Loyal, indeed. He wondered if they bond that they had formed on Ramiel... He wondered if it was forged of the same steel as his, Cassian’s, and Rhysand’s.

“I do not seek an apology for your choice, Nesta.” Gwyn made for a swift attack that Nesta blocked. They circled each other again. “I told you what happened to me.” Azriel felt a shiver down his spine. That was a day he hadn’t been able to scrub from his memory, especially after seeing the priestess again. He wasn’t a fool - he could deduce what had been done to her, what he’d intervened in. He’d been quietly impressed at her strength since then, her desire to train. “My choices were stolen from me. And you… in making your choice, you took away mine.” He saw a tear slide down Gwyn’s cheek, and he saw pain on Nesta’s face. Gwyn kicked at Nesta, and their flurry of movement started once again. There was silence between them for a few moments as they each got in hits and blocks.

Gwyn put down her fists, and looked Nesta in the eye. “I lost Catrin,” she panted. “I will not lose another sister again.” Her hand cupped Nesta’s cheek, and brought her forehead to meet Nesta’s. “I would have followed you, my sister. My commander.” The air felt heavy. He glanced at Cassian, seeing his widened eyes.

“I know,” Nesta said, tears escaping her eyes. “I’m sorry.” Azriel knew those words did not leave Nesta often, lending a particular gravity to the exchange.

“You will not take away my choice again.” Gwyn’s voice was quiet, but hard. “I will live or die by my own choices. And if I should die by my sister, it will have been an honor.” Gwyn pulled Nesta to her in a hug, and Azriel saw Emerie run to them to throw her arms around them. He felt as though he was witnessing something sacred and private. He looked at Cassian.

“I wouldn’t have pegged Gwyn the type to settle a disagreement with fists,” he remarked dryly. Cassian snorted.

“Me either. I thought Nes was exaggerating when she said our favorite priestess had a temper.”

Just when Azriel thought he had the priestess pegged, she’d throw him a curveball. She was competitive. Loyal. And, apparently, fiery. She intrigued him.

The threeway hug broke apart. “So,” Gwyn said brightly, “who’s up for cake?” Emerie barked a laugh.

“You went from pummeling each other and now you want cake?!”

Gwyn shrugged her shoulders. “My score is settled, and now I want cake.” All three females chuckled, Nesta shaking her head, and started making their way towards the door. Nesta veered to give Cassian a kiss, and Azriel could hear him asking if she was alright. He caught Gwyn’s eye. “Hello, shadowsinger.” Her eyes sparkled.

“Hello, priestess.” He responded. His shadows danced at her proximity.

“Hello, shadows,” she said with a smile. He could feel joy in his shadows, and a few left to twirl around her, making her giggle. “Come join us for cake. Life is too short to miss out on cake!”

Truthfully, Azriel wasn’t overly fond of sweets. But that sparkle in her eye was hard to resist, and he felt a pull to her that he decided not to ignore. “Alright. Lead the way.” Her smile brightened, making his heart skip a beat. Maybe being stuck here instead of being sent to spy on Koschei wouldn’t be so horrid after all.

#gwyneth berdara #gwyn acotar #gwynriel #gwyn x nesta x emerie #gwyn x nesta #gwyn acosf #gwyneth berdara fic #nesta archeron #nesta x gwyn friendship

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aldbooks · 2 years

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In honor of today’s release of Unholy by Sam Smith x Kim Petras, here’s a sneak peak of the one shot Gwynriel x Nessian x Emorie AU Bodyshop.

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"Why the hell did you drag us here, Mor?" Azriel grumbled under his breath as he followed his friends through the dark club.

Cassian, whose arm was slung over the blonde's shoulder looked back at him with a grin. "Cheer up Az. I'll buy you a lap dance if you smile." Azriel gave him an ice cold stare which only made him laugh. "Come on, just a little one. You're so much prettier when you smile."

Morrigan tipped back her head, a musical laugh spilling from her lips that drew several eyes in their direction. They made quite the picture, he knew as they cut through the array of velvet lined couches, following one of the club's hostesses who led them to a large round sofa near the main stage. He and Cass looked dark and imposing in all black and Mor in a slinky red dress, golden curls spilling over equally golden skin.

On the stage a man with long red hair, and golden brown skin was dancing for a large group of salivating women, including one that looked somewhat familiar, though he could quite make out her face in the low light. The man's face was hidden behind a glittering fox mask, but he grinned seductively as he crawled across the stage toward the woman who grinned back, tucking a bill in the band of his costume.

Cassian growled playfully at the scene and Azriel shook his head as they took their seats. Mor draped herself over one corner while Azriel took the other and Cassian sprawled out between them, the unbuttoned neck of his shirt spreading open as he laid his arms over the back of the couch and watched the dancer with a smirk. Mor gave their drink orders to the hostess then leaned back in her seat and smiled at him.

"You'll see soon enough," she promised. "The club got a new troop of dancers recently. All women. Crowd favorites apparently, and Rita said one of them is just your type."

#gwynriel #Emorie #Nessian #gwyn x nesta x emerie #gwyn x azriel #nesta x cassian #Emerie x Mor #The Valkyrie ACOSF #au fanfiction

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dread3r · 2 years

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Nesta shook her head. “Consider it the repayment of a debt. A tear slipped down Emerie’s cheek. “For what?” “For being my friends. Even when I didn’t deserve it.” Emerie’s face crumpled. “There is no debt, Nesta.” But Nesta smiled softly. “There is. Let me pay it.”

#acosf #a court of silver flames #nesta archeron #gwyneth berdara #gwynriel #emerie #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #my baby really thought she was unworthy of love #my heart #join me in my demise #nessian #gwyn x nesta x emerie #valkyrie #the valkyries

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shadowsingerspriestess · 2 years

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Cassian: I hope you three have an explanation for this

Nesta: Actually, we have

Gwyn: Three, to be more precise

Emerie: Pick your favourite

#the valkyries #gwyn acotar #acosf #nesta #emerie of illyria #emerie #gwyn acosf #gwyneth berdara #nesta archeron #cassian acosf #incorrect acotar #incorrect quotes #nesta x cassian #gwyn x nesta x emerie #emerie the valkyrie #sarah j maas #acotar

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rainingriversofyou · 2 months

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Cassian x Nesta feat. Gwyn & Emerie

A Court Of Silver Flames

Artist: meiflowersketches

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lib-arts · 8 months

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Happy Valkyrie Week!

Day 1: Training (yes, one day later)

#acotar #sarah j maas #sjmaas #the valkyries #nesta acosf #gwyn supremacy #gwyn berdara #nesta archeron #pro nesta #nessian #emerie #gwyn acosf #cassian acosf #nesta x cassian #pro nessian #emerie of illyria

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tpcanvas · 3 months

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The Valkyries villain era ⚔️PART 1⚔️

- Gwyneth Berdara🖤

Exploring a concept I call the Villain Era of the Valkyries, my focus is on drawings capturing their powerful facial expressions. What piques my interest is the potential twist – imagining these Valkyries utilizing their powers in unconventional ways. It adds a layer of intrigue as they could either sow chaos or unexpectedly become agents of salvation. Nesta's entry into this narrative is up next and it promises to unfold another dimension to this theme. I’m so excited!

My art IG: cutiegwyn (u can also find my progress there)

Disclaimer: OPEN FOR COMMISSION!!

#acosf #gwynriel #azriel shadowsinger #gwyn berdara fanart #gwynriel fanart #acotar #digital fanart #spotify #gwyneth berdara #valkyrie #nesta archeron #emerie #pro gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #Spotify

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tato-acm · 1 year

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sexta-feira - 06. 01. 2023

Keeping Up With The ✨House of Wind Gang✨

gwyn berdara scenes (3/?) - chapter 45: which one is worse?

>> favorite gwyn fc: kennedy walsh (14/?)

“If you were to name a sword, what would you call it?”

Gwyn answered, though she hadn’t been asked, “Silver Majesty.”

Emerie snorted. “Really?”

Gwyn demanded, “What would you call it?”

Emerie considered. “Foe Slayer, or something. Something intimidating.”

“That’s no better!”

Nesta’s mouth tugged upward at their teasing. Gwyn looked to her, teal eyes bright. “Which one is worse: Foe Slayer or Silver Majesty?”

“Silver Majesty,” Nesta said, and Emerie crowed with triumph. Gwyn waved a hand, booing.”

#i love this scene 😂🙌#acosf ch 45 #acosf #nesta archeron #emerie #gwyn berdara #emerie of illyria #gwyneth berdara #the valkyries #gwyn x kenny #valkyries acosf #gwyn x nesta x emerie #gwyn x emerie

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harperbrynne · 11 months

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Gwyn Week Day 3: Titles

Gwyn has—and always will be—a sister.

“My sister and I used to braid bracelets and put these little charms on them full of wishes for each other.” She lifted a sack, dumping a few silver coins in her palm. They were no larger than her pinky nail, and as thin as a wafer. Her voice grew soft. “We believed that the wish would come true once the bracelet fell off.”

“Valkyries existed for millennia. But the War—the one five hundred years ago—wiped out most of them, and the few survivors were elderly enough to quickly fade into old age and die afterward. From the shame, legend claims. They let themselves die, rather than face the shame of their lost battle and surviving when their sisters had not.”

“You two came looking for me.”

“Of course we did,” Emerie said, interlacing her hand with Gwyn’s, then Nesta’s and squeezing tightly. “It’s what sisters do.”

@gwynweekofficial

#gwynweek2023 #gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #gwyn acotar #gwyn acosf #valkyries acosf #the valkyries #gwyn x nesta x emerie #nesta x emerie x gwyn #acosf #a court of silver flames

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sapphicmsmarvel · 2 months

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acotar x reader: one day at a time

Tw for death:

Reader loses somebody and their friends are there to pick up the pieces. A lil sprinkle sprinkle of az x reader bc that's MY BABYYYY

Lotsssssss of acts of service within the group.

Also bc im a petty asshole i included a snippet of one of my racist aunts who said some wild shit to me at MY SISTERS FUNERAL and just basically dissing her. (literally why would you stare at my poc best friend who's just trying to support me. This bitch stared at MY GIRL?? MY BESTIE???? NUH UH NOT ON MY WATCH BITCH).

Said best friend was just like “she’s never seen a brown person before marie it's fine.”

NO ITS NOT. IDC IF THIS IS MY SISTERS FUNERAL WE’LL MAKE IT A DOUBLE FUNERAL.

I'm petty.

soooo this is born out of grief for my sister. My sister passed away on 03/11/21 and this is very much catered to my grief and these are my comfort characters so naturally i'm gonna write about them when it comes to helping their loved one grieve.

and yeah this is gonna be based around the reader's sister dying. what can i say. I'm on brand.

also reader is feyres childhood friend that got turned into a fae with nesta and elain. i feel like that’s just the staple with my fics.

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When you got notified of your sister's death, it was actually a pretty good day up until that point. Sunny day with clouds, a wonderful brunch date with Mor, adorable children at the studio with Feyre. Afterwards, the two of you began walking back to Feyre’s, content on playing with Nyx for the evening before retiring to your own home. When you walked up, Feyre looked at you and told you about how the Inner Circle were having a meeting inside the office. So you two quickly joined them.

When you walked in, Rhysand held out a letter, “this was a letter delivered to you.”

You made a face and grabbed it, “okay, so why are you all staring at me like that?”

“This person walked into the Spring Court and dropped it on Tamlins doorstep.” Cassian said. “They dropped it in the middle of night, just when he wasn’t prowling like a creep.”

“What the fuck?” You asked as you analyzed it.

No name but yours and a pisspoor address.

Lady Y/N L/N

Night Court

“We didn’t know if it was a…” Azriel trailed off, realizing how silly what he was about to say was. “Hence, why all of us are here.”

“We’re also just nosey.” Mor shrugged, her nose wrinkling.

You snorted, and tore into it, “you could’ve opened it.”

“It’s your mail. We may be protective bastards but you still have a right to privacy.” Rhysand drawled.

Feyre stood next to you as you pulled out the paper, your eyes tracing over it.

“It’s from my dad.” You said recognizing his handwriting.

Then, it all went to shit.

Your big sister was dead, the woman you fought with a lot of the time but yet would take a beating for. Your big sister who helped guide you through life, who would always be there even if she was pissed off at you for some inane reason.

Gone.

You just froze, not knowing what to do. You’re pretty sure Az asked you a question, then Cass, then Rhys. Then you felt Feyre’s hand on your shoulder.

I need to leave.

I need to go before I hurt someone.

You just wordlessly handed the letter to her and winnowed away.

You didn’t go to your apartment, you didn’t go to the townehouse, you didn’t go anywhere they would find you.

You went to the middle of the forest. You just picked a random point to lose it.

And you did.

You didn’t remember much of causing the damage. Only that you managed to stop when Azriel’s arms wrapped around you. You just kept screaming. “I know, I know. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” He said, his lips against your hair.

His shadows wrapped around your hands, cool wind kissing away the raging inferno of your cuts. You collapsed, taking Azriel to the ground.

He just held you as you sobbed. You felt his own tears hit your neck. He usually did a better job masking his emotions, but it was you crying, you who he had a deeper bond with. So he let his emotions run free.

“Y/N!” Feyre called into your mind. Your shields were down and you didn’t even notice.

“Az has me, i’m sorry I-”

“Don’t apologize. I would’ve done worse if I found out…” Her voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry I ran off.”

“Do not apologize.” She said sternly, “After you and Az are done come back to the River House. You can sleep at our house tonight. Guest bed is currently being made up.”

She left your mind before you could respond. You breathed in the smell of Az.

Azriel brought you back to Feyre and Rhysand’s home. Rhys had trouble with touch, but never with you. He brought you into his arms instantly. You tried not to let the tears surface again, but it was quite hard when a brotherly kiss was pressed against your head.

“We got you, Y/N.” He whispered against the crown of your head.

Nuala and Cerridwen made you your favorite food. Which prompted you to start crying again. The twins looked so panicked that it almost made you laugh. Elain made your favorite cookies, which again kept the tears going.

“I don’t know why I’m crying over this.” You said helplessly, you managed to laugh during that.

Feyre and Elain hugged you from both sides.

You retired to the guest bedroom, you found a pile of fluffy blankets and your favorite candy. As well as a bouquet of your favorite flowers with Mor’s handwriting scrawled on the note. Amren left you a bottle of your favorite wine too.

Eventually, after some more tears, there was a knock at your door. You called out for them to come in but saw Nyx.

The little guy was walking even more, speaking full sentences. It’s insane to you that he grew so fast but it has been 5 years since he was born.

“Go on like we practiced.” You heard Feyre encourage from behind the door frame.

“Hi, Auntie.” The little guy mumbled. Holding a glass of water. “I have something for you.”

“Yeah buddy?” You smiled despite the shitty day. Your nephew made everything better.

Rhysand walked in behind him, as did Feyre. Rhysand lifted him up onto the bed while Feyre handed you a cup of hot chocolate.

You were just glad Nyx wasn’t holding the hot drink.

“Here’s some wata.” He said, his small hands handing you the glass.

“Oh thank you.” You said earnestly and took a sip. You set it on the table. Then you laid back down and faced him. “Just what I needed.” You were genuine.

“Auntie, are you sad?” Both Feyre and Rhys froze at their sons question. Clearly, he was going off script.

You sniffed, “yeah, Nyxie. I’m really sad.”

“I love you.” His eyes were so big, so genuine. You were going to cry for a whole new reason.

“I love you more.”

“Nuh uh.” He said, as a typical toddler wanting to argue no matter what.

You huffed a laugh and opened your arms. “Come here.”

He crawled into your arms with no hesitation. You were careful of his little baby wings as you held him close to you.

You loved this kid.

Feyre settled in behind you on the bed, Rhysand joined on the other side with his son.

They held you as you drifted off into a dreamless sleep, hoping to see your sister one last time.

————————

When it came to planning the funeral, you had to go out to your family’s cottage to help. You said you could go alone, but frankly, good luck telling Nesta and the Valkyries to stay behind when one of their own is in pain.

So when you saddled up to your family with three warriors behind you, they were scared a bit to say the least.

Emerie held your hand during the funeral discussion as Nesta watched the director to make sure she wasn’t insensitive to you. Gwyn stood guard behind you. They were protectors, they were not gonna leave one of their girls to deal with this alone.

Eventually, the funeral was planned. The rest of your chosen family came out and surprised you. You sent a notice to them of when the funeral was and told them they didn’t need to come because you knew how busy they were.

When they showed up on your family’s doorstep to surprise you, you started crying again.

——-

The day of the funeral, it was the entire inner circle crammed into the living room of the cottage of your mortal family’s living space.

You felt bad cramming two males with wings into that small space, especially with so many other people. But Cassian and Azriel assured you that there’s nowhere else they would be.

You slept sharing a flimsy mattress with Elain, since the other two sisters were with their mates. But Feyre and Rhys slept close. So did Nesta and Cassian. Both women facing your general direction.

Azriel did not sleep. He wanted to be there in case you woke up in tears again.

Amren slept sitting up against a wall, she wouldn’t admit it but she wanted an eye on you. She only trusted hers.

Mor was curled on the other side of you. You were sandwiched between her and Elain.

Emerie and Gwyn slept down by your guys’ legs. Emerie’s head on Mor’s thigh. Gwyn hugging Elain legs in her sleep.

Azriel chose not to mention what happened when your dad came downstairs in the middle of the night to check on you.

It was as if he wasn’t sure if you’d really be there. He just lost one daughter, he didn’t want to lose another.

He nodded at Azriel who nodded back. Assuring him that you weren’t going anywhere. That you always had people watching out for you.

As everyone got ready, it was a somber moment. Elain did your hair, Mor did your makeup, Amren set out your jewelry and Feyre handled your clothes. They didn’t want you doing anything.

Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie let your nephew and niece play with their swords. It was the one thing they seemed interested in so they let them do it.

Rhysand was currently trying to get your dad to accept a check from him and Feyre to pay for everything plus anything else your parents need during this time. Your father was refusing. Rhys spoke bluntly. “Your daughter is my family, please let me take care of her family.”

Your dad didn’t. But Rhys hid the check in your dads night table. He felt yucky going into their room but did it to make sure they got the check.

On the way to the funeral, Azriel had offered his arm for you to take, which you gratefully did. Rhysand got the door for you. Az led you in. The overprotective bat boys acted like your body guards, which you appreciated, however you couldn’t help but giggle a little bit at it.

Nesta told you before the funeral to let her know if you wanted her to intervene to keep some relatives away.

One of your (racist) aunts kept telling you how you’re responsible for your sister's kids. Then when she saw Azriel, Cassian, Rhysand, Amren and Emerie, she just stared. Before you could intervene, Elain and Gwyn stood in front of them.

You almost wacked her so hard it was going to be a double funeral. You had prepared them before that some relatives were racist. They didn’t give a rat's ass.

Oh and then everyone in your party including you were Fae. That also did not help.

Hence why you lived in Velaris, away from all the bigotry.

During the service, Feyre sat on one side of you, Amren on the other side. Feyre clutched your hand and Amren even held out her hand for you. She always had a soft spot for you. Mor’s makeup didn’t last long throughout the service which is why she did bare minimum on your face.

Afterwards, you left pretty soon after the service was done. You just had to leave the building. You guys went to a pub in your funeral attire. Azriel sat next to you and Nesta on the other side. Rhys refused to let you pay. But you knew he was trying to get you riled up. It was working.

He was incredibly happy to see the fire return to your eyes.

At that moment, with your family, you knew you were going to be okay.

Just have to take every day one step at a time.

#acotar #acofas #acomaf #acowar #feysand #acotar x reader #nesta x reader #nesta x cassian #feysand x reader #azriel x reader #cassian x reader #elain x reader #emerie x reader #mor x reader #morrigan x reader #gwyn x reader

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