#hard to explain and im so sleepy. but the best way i can describe it which i keep doing is like a tv show that should be over by now but is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redhawtriot · 4 years

Note

IM DYING for some domestic things, can I please have small request about it? What if Bakugo, Kirishima, Shigaraki and Dabi (seperated, obviously) coming home and bringing one cutie plusiu for their unborn child? Sorry for wxtra fluff I just need more cute things in our lifes 😭 YOU R AWESOME HAPPY ONE MONTH LUV YA

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I had to do this one right away! Sorry if some of these are very narrow-minded views on expecting children! I know surrogacy and adoption are also options! Let me know in the comments if those are things you guys would like to see as well!

But I got too excited when I saw this! lol The mucus filled disaster where my heart is supposed to be jumped for joy when I read this prompt!

HnM💕

💖Dabi:

When you first met Dabi, one of your very first presumptions about the man was that he should never have offspring.

That’s not to say that you were not immediately drawn to his physical looks and demeanor, rather you just couldn’t picture such a stoic man ever having the visceral capacity in his cold heart to care much about anyone besides himself.

It wouldn’t be until much later than your initial meeting where these feelings would be fully swayed– passed when you got to know him better and saw his standoffish mask fade away, revealing a loyal, surprisingly warm man– passed becoming romantically involved with him and finding him putting aside his own slight needs at times to fulfill yours– passed even your first pregnancy together.

It was the day of your child’s birth that you knew just how much of a kind-hearted creature your partner could be.

You already knew that he wouldn’t be able to attend the birth. He was a known “terrorist” after all. The sight of him in a hospital would only end in havoc.

Those people— always quick to label anyone who won’t conform under their oppression with such othering terms.

You gave a quick glance to your sleeping daughter, immediately feeling a heaviness in your heart. The picture just wasn’t complete without Dabi.

Yes, it hurt to be alone but you reminded yourself that you would soon return from the hospital to reunite your little untypical family.

But for the moment, you could only sleep and let your body heal from child birth.

A familiar sound suddenly chipped away at your peaceful unconscious, “You are so beautiful. Just like your mom, huh?”

Was that Dabi?

You tried to pry your heavy eye lids open and call out to him but only a slight tired groan came out.

“Go back to sleep, Y/N,” you felt a warm hand rub your cheek, “You did a good job. Rest up,” you tried to fight against your sleepiness but the soothing nature of his touch eventually dragged you back to sleep.

“You are perfect. I… I didn’t know I could feel so much for one person. God, I am going to spend every moment of my life protecting you until the day I die, baby girl.”

“Dabi!!” You gasped. You finally snapped your body up, and ignored the searing pain in your lower abdomen and you crazily searched the room for the father of your child.

Your heart sagged at his absence.

However on the visitors chair next to your daughters plastic crib was a large array of pink stuff animals and hearts.

You dragged yourself off of the bed and scuttled to the display of rosy penguins and pigs and bears and saw a card with a lone pink balloon on the front.

Curiously, you slowly opened the card,

I hope this doesn’t gross you out, me being all soft and everything, but as soon as I saw her I wanted to give her absolutely everything. My baby girl is the most precious thing I have ever seen.

I’m so proud of you. You did a good job, babe. Heal up and come home soon, kay?

I can’t wait to hold my girls again.

🐊Kirishima:

He was beyond happy to become the father to your children. Words wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe the pure and overwhelming feelings of joy that he felt as he bounced out of the doors of the drug store near your house.

He glanced down to a torn piece of a magazine the two of you had lying around the house, checking the small list he made one more time before he left the stores premises:

Vitamin B6

A plush crocodile

flowers

Left Twix

pregnancy test

Yep! All accounted for! He had practically no trouble at all finding most things on the list, but the plush crocodile was a bit harder than he expected.

He had asked an associate about the plush toy in hopes of finding it, but they only had alligators.

“But this is a stuffed alligator. See?” As Kirishima pointed to the stuffed animals face, the associate only became confused, so Kiri explained further, “The nose shape is all wrong. It has to be a crocodile? Are you sure this all you have?”

It was indeed all they had. Kirishima let out a small sigh, but honestly not even the drug store’s reptile discrimination could bring his day down!

“My wife is pregnant!” He exclaimed with an extremely proud smile to a couple he passsed as he made his way into his car. One of the strangers immediately cheered him on with a loud “whoop whoop!” before his boyfriend smacked him on the shoulder for the wild display.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t believe how long it was taking your husband to return home from the store. You bounced your leg uncomfortably as you waited on your living room couch.

He was only supposed to be picking up one thing! The longer you sat and waited for him to return, the more your nerves stacked upon each other.

You’re heart flipped in your chest as your front door suddenly opened. You quickly stood from the couch, “You got it?”

He hurried up to you, “Yep! Here, go take the test!” He pressed a kiss on your cheek and frantically handed you an already opened pregnancy test like a baton in a race.

You raised an eyebrow to him, before pausing as you caught a glance at the flowers in his other hand. You shook your head in disbelief, “Eiji look, I told you not to get too excited,” you pointed an accusing finger as you walked away toward to bathroom, “The test we took was old. It might have been a fake positive,” you hollered from the bathroom after shutting the door.

He followed you to the bathroom, but remained fidgety on the other side, “Well I know for a fact that it wasn’t a fake positive,” he replied with a slightly smug tone as he tried to mask his own nervousness.

“Oh yeah?” You laughed at his smugness, “Well… would that be such a bad thing?” You tried to sound lighthearted as you stared at the stick in front of you and waited for the second line to appear.

The two of you hadn’t really been planning for a child. You hadn’t ever really even talked about having children much, so when you missed your period last week and became sick this morning, this response from Kirishima was very unexpected.

He was way happier than you would have thought he would be. Just when you thought your beam of light couldn’t get any happier….

God, you didn’t want to let him down.

Suddenly Kirishima heard you scream on the other side of the door.

The man immediately burst through the door accidentally busting a portion of the frame, “Oh man, S-sorry. But WHAT IS IT!?”

“Happy face!” A smile split your face as you threw yourself at him for a hug.

“T-that means pregnant!?” He frantically stuttered, frozen in place.

“That means pregnant!” You hopped up and down.

He wasted no time at all as you scooped you up into his arms. The both of you laughed in unbelievable glee as he carried you to the living room and sat you down on the couch. He swiftly handed you the flowers, “Here you go, baby mama.” You laughed at his phrasing as he reach somewhere behind him to grab his drug store plastic bag.

“And these,” he smiled up at you, “for your stomach.”

Chocolate and…. B6?? What even is that? You threw him a confused glance, so he immediately explained.

“I was talking to a lady by the pharmacy about your morning sickness,” no wonder he took so long, you laughed at his diligence as he continued, “She said B6 can help. So the vitamins will do good for your stomach, and the chocolate will taste good for your stomach.”

Your face almost hurt from how hard your were smiling, “God, you really went all out! You really are hard headed you know that?”

“Only the best for my girls,” he argued as he pulled the stuffed alligator from behind his back.

“Oh my goodness!!” You explained with a laugh, the two of you always got each other crocodile things. The first thing you ever said to him in high school was a mocking joke about his choice in footwear—crocs. You laughed, “You think its a little girl, huh? Well, I think it’s a hard headed little boy just like his dad.”

“I guess we’ll see,” he said as he pecked you on the lips.

“I guess we will.” You smiled back at him.

🐻Shigaraki:

The two of you weren’t exactly on the greatest of terms. What was meant to be a drunken fling ended up turning into, in your opinion, a long, drawn out train-wreck of a relationship– if you could even call it that.

You swear that that man has the mentality of a child, and it seemed like every time he would take a step toward the grand goal of maturity, something would come by and knock him two steps back again.

So it was obviously not a shock to you that the overgrown baby was no where near prepared to raise a baby of his own. You almost expected him to storm off sooner than he did when you told him you were pregnant.

But he just stared at you.

“What? Would you stop staring at me like I’m some alien now?” you had thrown your hands on your hips as if to undermine any overwhelming feelings he had, “You did this to me!!” you had foolishly screamed at him, causing him paused in shock before storming away as you feared he would.

How could you say that to him? Then again, you knew you had your faults as well. After all you were the one who hid the pregnancy until you had begun to show.

It was just too much for you to bare– the thought of being left alone to raise a snotty little thing, the thought of him staying and you being forced into a failing relationship, the thought of what kind of fucked up hero society you would raise the thing in. All of these thoughts festering in your mind over the past few months boiled into a harden crust and weighed down upon your mind.

“Shit…” you sighed under your breath, finally releasing the flood of emotions that you had been holding back for all of these months in a wave of tears.

“Y/N,” Shigaraki’s voice suddenly snapped you out of your despairing trance, “Here,” he harshly shoved a soft object into your face much like a student would an unseemly note to his classmate.

You looked down at the object and was completely surprised by what you saw, “A bear…?” you gawked at the plush object. He hadn’t ever bought you any gifts before.

“I wasn’t planning on staying with you,” he said very simply, his words sending a sharp pain through your heart.

Your still teary eyes blinked a few times as you tried to hold back your inevitable crying, “O-okay? I-“ he suddenly cut you off,

“I’m not as stupid as you might think. I can see that you are unhappy with me, so I was gonna just drop this… us,” he trailed off as if he were carefully preparing his next set of words, so you sat in silence and waited for them,

He finally spoke, “but knowing that we are expecting a child makes me really happy. Because it’s with you. I will… try to make you happier.”

You immediately wrapped your arms around him and held him closer to you than you ever had before, as if you were finally becoming one with him. You honestly didn’t know if the two of you would work out, but hearing those words come from him would make all of the difference in the possibility.

💥Bakugou:

“GOD DAMMIT! THE BRAT’S ON FIRE AGAIN, Y/N!!” You heard your husband screech from the other side of the house.

“WHAT?! ALREADY!?” You gave a groan in annoyance as you walked down the hall. You could already see light from the flames your son was probably swallowed up in in your living room. You shook your head in exasperation.

As soon as Bakugou spotted you coming, he threw you and expectant look, causing you to throw you hands on your hips as you chastised him, “Well, don’t just stand there looking at me! Grab the extinguisher!”

He immediately became defensive, “What do you think I am trying to do, you idiot! I can’t find it!” He roared back over your sons terrified screams.

“What do you mean you can’t find it?! We have one in every room now!” You screamed back as you picked up your son and hugged him close. The boy dropped something from his hand as you did so.

It was a blessing that you had just come back from work and had your fireproof hero costume on. You already had a full store of clothes that your young toddler had burned through. You patted him on his flaming back in a feeble attempt to soothe him. He continued wailing still.

Your poor baby! You knew he had your fire proof cells, but he was still terrified.

“Babe! Where’s that damn extinguisher!?” You called out.

“You must have moved it earlier this morning when he scorched your shirt!” He accused angrily.

“Oh crap. Well, grab the one from the kitchen, or playroom! And that was more than a scorch and you know it! My favorite blouse looked like a teenage bonfire,” You tried to defend yourself.

“Put me out mommy! Put me out!” Your son sobbed, clinging tightly to your chest as the flames raged around him, “we need ‘wata’!” Your heart broke a little at his hiccups and gasps,

“We can’t use water, baby,” your fire breathing quirk along side Bakugou’s oily nitroglycerin sweat resulted in a pretty terrifying combination for a small child who had a habit of setting himself on fire. The oily fire would only surge if you used water to extinguish it. That’s why you had special extinguishers made just for these occasions, “if DADDY FINDS AN EXTINGUISHER you’ll be okay! Remember? It doesn’t hurt.”

Bakugou suddenly burst back into the room, “I FOUND IT!” He screeched like a battle cry as you held your son an arms length away. Much like you often practiced, Bakugou flipped the nozzle of the red container and released the foamy continents as they sprayed all over your son.

You quickly calmed him down and cleaned him off as Bakugou ran to grab him some more clothes. The two of you worked like a well oiled machine as you swiftly dressed him and consoled him out of his sobs.

Your son eventually cried himself into a nap, meaning you’d have at least 2 hours to prepare for the next inevitable incident. You sighed as you slumped down onto the couch next to an already sprawled Bakugou, “What are we gonna do with this boy,” you shook your head.

“Train him how to use his damn quirk,” he huffed.

You sat up defensively, “We do!”

“Yeah, a few minutes a day,” he spat back.

“He’s a toddler, Katsuki, Jesus!” your face upturned.

“Tell him that! He’s the one spontaneously combusting!” he loudly argued, “Besides, he’ll be four in like a month.”

It was a rare occurrence that he obtained his quirk so early. The two of you hadn’t expected it for years.

But doctors theorized that quirks would soon come earlier in age as their power grew— your son might just be among the first of a new era. Different things like diet, stress, activity could all also trigger the quirks to come sooner.

“Well the doctors said his outbursts could be stress related!” Your face shriveled. You weren’t so ignorant to think that yours and Katsuki’s interactions weren’t stressful for a small child. It’s not that you guys weren’t happy together. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Loud and passionate was just the dynamic that the two of you shared, but your son was gentle and nervous somehow. Much like your brother. You shook your head as guilt ate away at your heart, “God, only three years in and we are messing him up already.”

“He’s not fucking messed up!” Your husband argued “He’s perfect!” He announced proudly. This sent a wave of happiness into your heart.

You never really expected Bakugou to be the doting father type, but he had pleasantly surprised you the past few years at how passionate he was about raising your son. Of course there were times where you would question his harsher parenting methods, but all in all, he was a very good, supportive, present father.

You looked up at him proudly, “Yeah,” you agreed with a soft smile.

“Plus, I fixed our plush toy issue,” your husband huffed, “that probably why he was easier to calm the hell down than usual.”

“Our… what?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You really didn’t notice? Are you fucking serious?” He sounded almost hurt, “You said he get’s even more worked up when he’s upset about melting or destroying his toys during his tantrums. So I fixed that problem,” he pointed to the scorched carpet in front of you and that’s when you noticed a small, unscathed plush doll.

Your heart melted. It was a little cute Ground Zero doll! “Oh! Wow! How long has he had that?!” You excitedly exclaimed as you bent down to pick up the fluffy Bakugou.

“I just had the agency brand them yesterday. It’s a fireproof prototype,” he gruffly explained nonchalantly. You immediately leaned over to him to give your thoughtfulness sweetheart of a man a kiss but he harshly threw his face away from you so you only caught his cheek.

All these years, and he still hated affection, “Whatever,” you huffed, “I have a new man anyway,” you teased, causing him to angrily whip his head back towards you, only to see you placing a kiss on the small plushie.

“YOU ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD, YOU KNOW THAT!?!”

Suddenly you heard an explosion coming from your sons room, followed by familiar terrified wails, “MOMMYYY! PUT. ME. OUUUUUUT!”

Both you and Bakugou sighed before you angrily punched him on the arm for his loud mouth.

#bnha imagines #bakugou imagine #bnha imagine #kirishima x reader #mha imagines #mha imagine #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #kirishima imagine #bakugou x reader #shigaraki imagine #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #pregancy #plush doll

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oh-theatre · 4 years

Text

Objection!: Chapter 16

Chapter title: How ‘Bout A Dance

A/n: !!!!! Guys! Guys! YALL this chapter!! Look im so excited!! im cryfin i Love THEM. LO AND THE KIDS!! PRINXIETY IS SO SMOFT!! PATTON BEING MY FAVE!! Just a breather from everything!! I LOVE THEM AND IM SO GLAD WE ARE PROGRESSING. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me some comments!

I KNOW LITERALLY EVERYONE IS GONNA BE WATCHING THE NEW EPISODE BUT I SAID SCREW IT AND IM POSTING IT

First | Previous | Next

words: 5944

summary: Roman suffers with some of the after-effects of his experience

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, dead bodies, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, flashbacks, angst

Ao3 Link

“And finally, the noble prince was saved from his captors and healed by his dashing love” Roman explains, the twins bundle up closer their small eyes flutter trying to listen. “The knight, always so resilient, could never give up on his one true love” Roman recites, Patton smiles sweetly from the door, a hot tea warming his hand as he leans on the arch. “So together, the knight and the prince fought endless hours until the battle was won” Valerie giggles clapping her small hands, Remus yawns pulling the blanket closer towards him. “They returned home heroes and were quickly crowned king and king of this land of promise” Remus gives his best cheer, dazed and sleepy. “And they lived happily ever after” Roman finishes planting a kiss on each of their foreheads before gently laying them in their respective beds.

“Tomorrow can you do one about princesses?” Valerie requests as Roman tucks her in, she plays loosely with his face poking and prodding.

“Anything for my Princesa” Roman assures, the little girl yawns satisfied turning over as she clutches to her bear. Roman moves across the room to where a lazy Remus had waddled to his bed, struggling to climb in. Roman helps him in making sure he's secure.

“I want one about octopuses and snakes” Remus mumbles, Roman glances towards Patton who simply shrugs. “My new best friend loves snakes,” He says into his pillow, Roman chuckles wishing the pair goodnight. He turns off the lights making sure their night-lights are on before closing the door behind him.

“They missed you,” Patton says, the two men situate into the living room. Roman slumps into the couch exhausted, the fatigue setting in. His first day out of the hospital, though slow and careful was still rough. Patton had been by his side most of the time, he was incredibly grateful for it. “I missed you Ro” Patton adds, a soft smile spreads across the judge's face. Logan had stopped by earlier to visit and check-in, even Remy and Emile had joined them. Alas, the one prominent missing piece, the one Roman desired the most. Virgil.

“Thanks for today, it was nice” He adjusts his position, curling up. “I forgot how much they could be, however, I love them don't get me wrong” Roman defends, he sighs rubbing his head. “I was just hoping all of this wouldn't be so hard…” He didn't want this injury to linger, to change what he was before. He loved playing with the kids, he adored striding through the day with adventure, he longed for the nights where he huddled them up and told stories so magical.

“Eh, maybe you're just getting old” Patton jokes, Roman laughs nudging him gently. “You should get some sleep, I know it's not ideal but you'll be back home tomorrow” Patton suggests spinning the spoon in his cup. Roman sits up, his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean? My house is a mess” He remembers, the dark images of shattered memories flash through his mind. A coy smile quickly makes its way around Patton's face. “What did you do?”

“It's not what I did, its what Virge did!” Patton exclaims, Roman softens at the mention of the detective, his chest fills. “He spent all day today cleaning up and organizing for you, he even took Ollie to get pampered” Patton informs, Roman can't describe his thoughts. The sizzling blush across his face, the increased sweat gathered in his hands.

“He did that...for me?” Roman marvels, a bitter taste stings the tip of his tongue, a reminder. Don't get your hopes up. With the addition of the ‘Remy incident’, Roman learned that a certain lawyer couldn't keep his mouth shut. Roman's romantic plans revealed to a less than happy Virgil. “He hasn't been avoiding me?”

“Of course not silly” Patton smiles “He's been planning this for a while” Roman hopes his eyes are teasing him, a joke, there can't be actual tears welling...can there? “Hey, if this is about the gala, he was just a little surprised I'm sure he’ll say yes” Patton assures, Roman nods. “Promise me you'll go through with it?” He holds out his pinky finger, a cute smirk on his face. Roman scoffs playfully but promises nonetheless. “Good! Now sleep” And so Roman did. Patton set him up in the guest bedroom before retreating to his own room. Sleep was the easy part, it was impossible not to feel comfortable in this house. It radiated love and joy and warmth, his dreams on the other hand? Now that was difficult.

So was waking up in a drenched sweat, covering his mouth as relentless screams came out. Liquid puddled in his hands, dripping down him, unable to differentiate. The room remained still, the darkness consuming him as something moved through the shadows. The screams wouldn't stop, he couldn't stop them, they controlled him.

“Roman!” Patton's voice broke through, the judge looked towards the door, light-flooded in, an aura surrounded the lawyer. He quickly took a seat at Romans side, taking him in his arms. The judge shook his head frantically, apologies muttered endlessly. Patton's gaze filled with worry as he held tighter, strokes of comfort across his head. “Ro...talk to me, what's wrong?” Patton pleads, wanting nothing more than to help, be there.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry” He repeats simply, Patton shushes him continuing his strokes. He takes a towel from the nightstand, dabbing across him softly, a soaking feeling never helped.

“You have nothing to be sorry for” If there's one thing Patton wanted Roman to hear, it was that. “You're ok, you're safe, I promise” Well and that...he mimics a rocking motion, Roman isn't there anymore, a shell as the judge escapes into his thoughts. Hiding in fear of the man he sees in Patton's arms. “You're ok Roman, it's ok” He hopes, his own mind racing violently. It slows and he can feel the steady breathing, he takes his phone out shooting a very messy, quick text to Logan and Virgil.

“I'm sorry” Roman whispers again, too afraid to fall asleep, too tired to fight anymore.

~~~

“Is he ok? What happened? What's going on?” Virgil interrogates as soon as Patton approaches. He's been waiting by the front desk, his foot about to be shaken off by pure force. “Patton!” He gives the lawyer no time to answer, a sigh returned.

“I spoke to his doctor this morning, its common after such a traumatic injury” Patton begins slowly, Virgil instantly regains a regular demeanor, he listens. “He warned me about what Romans going to be going through-”

“What?!” Virgil cries, he can't handle this. How can he help? What can he do?

“Virgil, you need to take a deep breath” A newly joined Logan advises. “Let Patton explain ok?” Virgil nods, the arm Logan puts on his shoulder creating a sense of calm. Patton gives a supportive smile but continues.

“He's going to be withdrawn, and his temper is going to shorten.” Patton remembers “He's going to be very irritable but we can not walk on eggshells around him. I mean it ok? The last thing he wants its to be treated differently, we just have to adjust” Patton sighs, moving on “He can't come back to work yet, a-and he's having trouble sleeping and eating and-” Patton stops himself taking a deep breath. He can't help but picture last night, the fear, the absolute hatred for himself in Roman's eyes. He shakes his head, looking up. “Uh someones gotta stay with him, I just…” He meets their eyes again “I don't think he should be alone...but he needs to go home” The two agree, details to be discussed.

“So, obviously, no gala right?” Virgil adds, Logan goes to nod but Patton purses his lips.

“No he has to go, the doctor cleared him” Patton explains “But either way he has to, the gala is Roman's favorite event, he looks forward to every year. Not going would be detrimental to him” That's the last thing Virgil wants, hesitant he nods.

“Is he still...planning on...you know?” Virgil slows, Patton gives an awkward smile.

“Yeah...but you don't have to say yes” Patton defends, Virgil swallows “If you don't want” He adds, Virgil gives him a small glare, Patton smirks. “We can move him back today, and I'm ok taking the first few nights” Logan tilts his head, a frown upon his face. Even in the midst of everything, even the sunken look under Patton's eyes, the worrisome furrow of his brows, even with all of that he looked...stunning.

Woah

Ok, Logan clearly had not gotten enough sleep. Or maybe he was right, and should just-

“Pat, you have the twins to worry about” Virgil reminds, Patton's face remains. “I can take him tonight, ease him into the house” Virgil offers, though he does feel it. He wants to be there for Roman but he's not sure how.

“And you have Damian, it's ok I'll find a babysitter” He sighs hearing his phone ping “not up to debate Virge, I have to go, talk later ok?” Virgil huffs but nods making his way towards the door. Logan waves him farewell, promptly following Patton through the halls. He walks by his busy side, his hands behind him, fiddling with his fingers. Patton stops groaning as his phone goes off again.

“Everything alright?” Logan inquires, watching the reflection of the phone in Patton's glasses.

“I'm just so swamped, I have to talk to Haley about the case, I have to make arrangements for the Gala-” Logan cuts in

“I thought the committee took care of that” Patton laughs dryly, shaking his head at the suggestion.

“Please, I do most of the work and they take the credit” He states, Logan stifles a smirk. He loves the hinted passive-aggressiveness that radiates from Patton. It's nice to see him know his place, know that he deserves so much. Patton stares frozen at the wall as yet another ping from his phone plays out. “Oh god, their appointment I forgot!” He exclaims quickly replying. “And I have to find a babysitter for tonight..” He mutters, the words ‘pick-up’ and ‘Barbara’ are also slipped in

Offer Logan

Say the words

You want to

Logan searching for the courage to speak up clears his throat.

“Patton, I could help” The bespeckled lawyer looks up at him, his head cocks “I'm more than willing to” He offers, a nervous ringing in his ears, specifically with the twins but... For what seems like an eternity, Patton simply stares but soon Logan can take a breath. Patton takes his hands which are now placed neatly in front of him and squeezes sweetly.

“Oh! Thank you!” He exclaims, Logan returns his sickly smile. “If it's not too much to ask could you take the twins?” He requests a very small sliver of hope, Logans defenses fall. “I know its a lot! But it's just that they love you and know you, and you're so good with them” Patton rambles, Logan's soft spot for this quality is odd.

“But...I thought...only with people you…” He starts, he resets himself, “I thought you only left them with people you trusted” Logan recalls, the image of Remy tackling the twins.

“I never said I didn't trust you” Patton assures, the sweetest of smiles across his face.

~~~

The screeching children used to be so off-putting but now as Logan stands outside the daycare its a sense of joy and adventure. He pushes his way in, locating the front desk quickly, children can be seen running around. The woman smiles up at him, holding a finger as she finishes a call, he waits idly examining the building. To his left is the recreation area, its quite big with many different sections for different activities. Further to the right is some kind of kitchen/eating area and an educational section. The children play throughout the entire scene, some passing Logan as they go.

“Hi! How can I help you?” The woman greets, Cindy if Logan recalls.

“I'm here to pick up Remus and Valerie Hart” He informs, Cindy smiles nodding. Her fast fingers move quickly across the keyboard as she pulls up information.

“Patton told me you would be coming, name and identification please” She requests with an everlasting grin. Logan nods pulling his wallet from his pocket, he places his ID in front of her as she checks it. “Logan...Tolentino?”

“That is correct” He assures, Cindy finishes something up before standing up and making her way into the crowd. Logan watches her as she somehow spots two children from the crowd, something sets off in Logan as he watches Cindy take Remus and Valerie from their activity. A small smile across his face as they spot him running towards him ripping themselves away from Cindy.

“Logan!” Valerie squeals running faster than her brother, she jumps onto his lug, squeezing tightly. Logan kneels to greet her, amusing her with a small handshake.

“Lolo!” Remus, unknowingly, teases. A more...abrupt approach is taken as he jumps into Logan's arms almost knocking him over. “What are you doing here?” He questions quite forcefully as he pushes against the man's chest. Valerie nods in agreement clearly as curious as her brother.

“I'm here to pick you up and take you to the doctors, and then home” He explains, they grin brightly vibrating in his clutches. “Shall we?” He asks, he stands taking their hands to lead them out. Cindy waves them farewell as he goes out to the car. It gains silent quickly and Logan feels the sweat grow in his hands. He has no trouble upholding conversations, it's more of a matter of whether he wants to. But right now? His mind runs blank, he's spoken to children before, so why was this so difficult.

They reach the car and Logan helps them into their seats, Patton and him had traded vehicles for easier transport so it took some getting used to. Remus was eager to get into his seat on his own, Logan made sure it was secure. He helps Valerie next who held a pretty tight hold on the lawyer, almost fearful of letting go. Once shes secure Logan goes to move to the front seat but Valerie tugs.

“Valerie, is everything alright?” He questions softly, she struggles with her words before sighing in defeat. She lets go turning away from the window. Logan has an immense need to push, he wants to help, but how? He piles into the front seat beginning the drive, the kids speak in quick mumbles in the back. The drive goes by and they arrive promptly.

“Good morning! Welcome to the children's clinic, how can I help you?” Logan waves and carries the twins forward. They insisted they were ‘exhausted’ and Logan didn't mind.

“Hello, I'm Logan Tolentino, I'm here with Remus and Valerie Hart” He explains, the man nods.

“Right, Mister Hart informed us you were coming,” He says checkings over a few things, Logan pulls out his ID and all of the children's medical files Patton gave him. “Thank you, uh...yeah looks good. Just wait for your name to be called” He says handing them back, Logan thanks him sitting down. The twin's race to the small activity area, playing with the toys. Logan wants to warn them to be careful, to make sure they don't touch their face but his voice fails him. As if he isn't confident enough to...to take care of them.

“Valerie Hart?” Logan looks to the source, Valerie comes racing by quickly taking the nurses' hand. Logan stands to follow but worries about leaving Remus.

“It's ok! I go by myself! Rem gets more scared than I do” She assures smiling brightly, Logan nods a grateful smile in return. He watches her disappear into the office chatting away with the nurse. Logan wonders whether he should have let that happen, he feels as if everything is a test. A tally of points to determine his ability to take care of children, Patton's words breathing down his neck.

“I never said I didn't trust you”

“Remus Hart?” Logan snaps his neck towards the nurse's direction, he feels Remus grasp his hand, hesitantly moving forward. “Hi Remus, how are you?” The woman, Tora, asks. Remus hides behind Logan's leg, avoiding eye contact. She awes before facing Logan. “You can just follow me here, we’re going to take his weight, height, the usual” She informs, Remus steps onto the weight fiddling, much like his father, with his fingers. Tora does some quick scribbling before ushering them into the room.

“Help!” He whispers softly to Logan as the nurse closes the door. Logan obliges placing him gently on the bed. He giggles as the crimped paper sounds off below him. “Thank you” He recites, almost as if rehearsed.

“You're not...forgive my bluntness, his father correct?” Tora inquires as she sets up the blood pressure machine. Remus watches it frightened, his eyes scanning her every movement.

“Oh no, I'm…” He swallows the word, what is he? Friend...friend is not enough to describe..but what if that's exactly what Patton thought of them as. Or less? What was he to Patton.

“He's dada’s best friend!” Remus cheers, that works, Logan decides. “And Dada loves him” He mentions casually, Logan knows that at this age the differences between love are so sparse for children. They just see the world, the complexity of everything is left unturned, so this statement was nothing out of the ordinary. But the concept, the idea...Logan couldn't breathe.

“Well isn't that sweet” Tora finishes quickly and runs through the procedure easily. The doctor comes in and checks through everything, asking the standard questions. Logan has prepared in case any information was needed, he was surprised at just how much he knew.

“Alright, all that's left is a shot and then you're free to go” He states, Remus, who had been quite calming up until then burst. He jumps up quickly on the bed and hides behind Logan who had made the mistake of standing next to him. “Aw Remus, it's not so bad, just ask your dad” The doctor looks expectantly to Logan, it just wasn't the right time to correct him. Logan turns to Remus, placing him carefully back in his position.

“Remus, it's ok” He begins, the little boy watches him, puddles of water gathering in his eyes “At first it is scary, but then you won't even feel it. A quick pinch and it's over” He demonstrates on his arm, pinching it rapidly, no pain. Remus watches, he moves his hand over the spot, his eyes lighting up. “And, you can hold on to my hand if you get scared, alright?” Remus pokes the spot, but nods.

“Okey” He mutters, barely a confirmation “Can we get ice cream after?”

“We have ice cream at home” We, home. Logan might need the doctor.

~~~

“And welcome home!” Virgil claps, sighing dryly. Roman nods, a weak smile is given in return. “Uh, after the gala, Patton and I will switch and Ill come stay with you” He reads over their schedule, Roman gives a thumbs up from his exhausted position from the couch. “But for tonight, Pats your babysitter” He quips, Roman laughs

“Thanks, and thanks for helping me unpack, and for resisting the urge to make fun of me, and for not mentioning last night or the fact that I want to ask you to the gala” He rambles, Virgil takes a breath for him.

“Now we don't have time to unpack ALL of that” Virgil teases, Roman huffs. “As for making fun of you…” Virgil moves slowly, leaning over the couch as he speaks to Roman. “Never Princey” Somehow his fingers make their way into Roman's hair, he fiddles softly with the ends of them. “Dude your hair is so soft” he marvels almost instantly, Roman chuckles sitting up. Virgil makes his way around, sitting next to the judge. “And hey last night, it's ok...you do...know that right?”

“I guess...I feel awful” Roman admits, Virgil remains, he waits for his opening. “And, though not the ideal way I wanted you to find out, sorry about the gala thing, I know you don't wanna go let alone with me” Virgil cocks his head.

“Now who said I didn't want to go with you?” Virgil's fixed gaze falling onto Roman's eyes. Though tired, they still shimmer with amber excitement. “But why now? Why the dance?” Virgil questions, this might not be the most ideal time for them…

“Because you broke up with..” Roman snaps trying to remember “Drake! God what a douchey name-”

“And douchey person” Virgil reminds recalling the reporter he had dated for a while.

“Right, you guys broke up like...nine months ago, and this was just...the perfect opportunity” Roman hopes it does not sound shaky. Virgil stifles a laugh, Roman pushes his shoulder gently. “I was nervous until I almost died, and then I decided I didn't have time to be nervous” He admits, Virgil softens, the quiet stir of the house sets in.

“Well, I would've said yes, still will if you want to” Roman nods, neither able to meet their eyes.

“Hey uh, Virge?” He begins, the detective looks up at him. He stands from the couch, kneeling in front of it, his face keeps serious “Would you go to the gala with me?” He asks, holding out his hands as if opening a box, besides the fact that it's empty. Virgil laughs nudging, he collects himself before gasping.

“Yes of course!” He cries, they stand cheering delighted before falling back onto the couch, laughing. “Crap now I have to get a suit” He sighs, Roman shrugs knowing he has a plethora of options available. “I should get back to Dee, he's been a little antsy every time I leave lately…” Virgil mentions

“Of course, tell him his dad says hi” He jokes, Virgil, rolls his eyes flicking Roman across the head. “Bye Virge!” He shouts, Virgil turns shooting quick finger guns leaving shortly after. As soon as the door closes Roman jumps quickly, a small victory dance commences through his house. New energy takes place as the lights seem just a bit brighter. He hums as it goes, a sweet tune carried with him as he begins cleaning up a few things. He moves to the kitchen. His eyes dare to scan the room, the room is spotless but his mind is not. Moments later the door swings open full f..orce

“Hello?” Roman calls out from his position, he hears rapid forceful footsteps under him. Doors and cabinets slam, things break with a piercing crash. Roman drops his items and rushes to the door. Locking it, he turns off the lights instantly calling Virgil, no response. “Virge, please pick up” He whispers frantically, cowers in the corner, the footsteps only grow louder.

“Roman Reial!” A husky voice calls, it's shaky as it searches through the upper level. The urge to yell ‘not here’ was too much, he clasps his mouth shut with his hand clearly stifling hysterical laughter. Ollie’s whines as he barks trying to scare the intruder away are momentarily heard. Please don't hurt him, Roman begs wishing his spaniel was with him.

His door was old, it was ancient in fact, it wouldn't survive a beating. And yet, it held pretty well for a while. Well until it shoved open now Roman could see the figure, fight or flight. And yet for some reason, he remained frozen watching as a gun was pulled on him.

“Hiding like a coward are you mister Reial?” The man questions, the nerve. He's being smart, fighting would do him no good, although neither did hiding. Running, running would've been the smart option. “Shame, I was hoping you would put up a fight” Roman tried hard to identify his voice, searching for a clue of anything at all.

“What do you want?” Roman tries, the man laughs, sickly his voice oozes. An eloquent fit Roman supposes, dying at the hands of the unknown, his life built quite the same. Charging into the unknown, he winces, as the man reasserts his position. Soon enough the shot rings throughout, it's funny, Roman doesn't hear it at first but he feels it. It pushes him back, his hands move slowly to the wound clutching tightly as the red substance oozes out of him.

“One down, one to go” The man mocks, Roman watches blurry as he exits leaving a helpless judge to wallow in his own despair, as he watches the darkness consume him.

“Hey! Sorry, I forgot my...jacket” Virgil wanders off, walking towards the dazed man. Roman faces him coming back from his musings. “Ro?” He questions ever so softly “Are you ok?” Virgil places a hand on Roman's shoulder, the instant wincing wasn't intentional but a leftover. A bitter taste left to last.

“Peachy keen” he whispers his lie.

~~~

“Yes perfect! Right there!” Patton commands the men nod walking briskly away as they set up the room. Patton smiles standing in the center of the beautiful draping ballroom.

He yawns, he misses the twins. He sees them throughout the day but he's been so busy and taking care of Roman, though he loved being there for his friend, was...honestly hard. He didn't know if he was helping. He knew Logan was taking good care of them which helped relax him but he just wanted to scoop them up and lay on the couch watching movies.

“Mister Hart, you look wonderful” Patton turns ready to thank the stranger, turning bright red as his eyes fall on an equally wonderful looking Logan.

“Oh! Hey Lo, you look…” Patton swears he's just exhausted but he couldn't find the right words. Logan goes to work in a suit almost every day, it is not an uncommon occurrence. And yet here he stood, under the aurous lights of the chandelier framing him perfectly, he looked- “Enchanting” Patton mutters, his eyes meeting Logans.

“It looks marvelous in here Patton” Logan compliments, Patton nods slowly, his jaw slacked. His eyes continue to scan the man, something about the way the room presents itself. Logan is breathtaking, literally, Patton might faint. “The twins are all tucked in for the evening and Barbara is watching over them, she's grateful for the night off” He explains, the mention of his family sets off a reset button in the lawyer. He bounces smiling.

“Thank you, and thank you for picking her up and thank you for everything Lo, seriously, it means the world to me” Patton takes Logan's hand, both feel a familiar shock run through them, tingling their hearts excited. He squeezes, lingering just a bit, even as his name is called. “Yes?” He turns finally pulling away.

“The event has begun” They announce, Pattom buzzes excited releasing a shaky breath. And then it did, people flooded in, moving across the floor dancing soon the room was alive. Logan had lost Patton in the crowd somewhere, a sinking feeling in his stomach fearing he wouldn't be seeing him.

“Hey pocket protector” Roman greets, Virgil at his side, eyeing the world around him. “No date?” He teases, Virgil appropriately nudges him. “Twas a joke” He responds

“Twas not funny” Virgil replies, Logan smiles weakly. He's spent the better half a week with children, and he adores them of course but he was hoping to have a conversation. One not full of coloring and octopuses. He excuses himself.

“Look you pushed him away” Roman retorts, Virgil scoffs feeling more comfortable by the minute. “Hey, you ok?” Roman checks, Virgil rolls his eyes

“I should be asking you that, how are you feeling?” Virgil returns the gesture, Roman resists the urge to reassure him and simply nods. “Oh? The music is changing” Virgil notes

“Astute observation detective Tormine” Roman teases, he takes a deep breath “Wanna dance?” Virgil shrugs dragging the judge towards the floor. Roman feels as though his entire weight has been gone, he floats letting Virgil lead him through the dance. Roman, surprisingly, not much of a dancer. He has rhythm, so as Virgil takes point, he picks it up quickly.

“Nice, you sure you're good?” Virgil checks again, the music drowns out in the background as it becomes just them. The pair in their own bubble, moving swiftly, clutching to one another as they dance. Roman can't tell if this is real, it feels too good.

“I am good Virge please” He hopes, Virgil backs off, nodding. The music really does take them into their own world. “Thank you, for...saying yes” He mumbles, Virgil reasserts his hands.

“Roman, I didn't do this...out of pity.” Virgil wants to make sure the judge knows that, he just...he doesn't know how to express it. “I wanted to say yes, me, I, all me” He assures, Romans smile couldn't be measured. “Now come on, I need some air, too many schmucks” He jokes, Roman claps for the song before obliging Virgil's wishes as they make their way to the balcony.

“Patton did a wonderful job…” Roman muses leaning over the railing, the chill runs through him, Virgil was right...he needed this. “Oh hey” Virgil turns his head to face Roman, his arms folded across the railing. “I forgot to mention, you look really nice”

“Right back at you” Virgil quips, the silence that falls between them is comfortable, welcomed. They're so close, Virgil feels warm, not needing an extra jacket. Not that Roman would hesitate to wrap him in anything. Roman yawns tilting his head slightly, he allows his head to fall carefully onto Virgil's shoulder. Virgil pets him teasingly. “There there” He mocks

“Aha,” Roman chuckles dryly. “I really like you Virge” Roman admits, he knows it's the residue of the meds but the truth it holds is real. Some might claim it moved too fast but four years too slow was Roman's argument.

“Well I would hope so” Virgil replies playing with his hair, its soft under his fingers and Roman doesn't mind. He lifts his head up and stares in Virgil's eyes, you really can get lost in them, the ebony mystery behind them. Roman's next move could be deemed as impulsive, fast, but to him? It was perfect.

He leans in placing his hand on Virgil's cheek. He won't have to watch his reaction as he shuts his eyes and let his heart get the best of him. His lips meet the detectives and everything falls away. It's different than expected, that would happen when you imagine the moment so many times it's hard to believe its happening. It is harder to believe that Virgil, though caught off guard for a moment, returns the gesture. They both know, consciously the need to breathe but both want nothing more than to remain connected. Virgil pulls away first making sure his hand stays interlaced with Romans. The warmth transferring from Roman's hand onto his cheek allows him to melt into it.

“Wow…” Virgil marvels “You're a really bad kisser” He jokes, his eyes glossed over. Roman releases his hold, laughing as he pushes gently against Virgil. They resume leaning against the railing (and one other) both releasing a sigh, with it so do their worries for the night.

“Well, this was fun” Roman taps the railing lightly beginning his venture back into the room. Virgil chuckles shaking his head, he turns taking Romans hand pulling him towards him. Curious, perhaps. Desperate? Mayhaps. Desiring? Absolutely. He kisses Roman, wanting nothing more than to stay like this.

“Woah there,” Roman says once they separate. “Take it easy, I'm on a date” Roman quips

“Whatever Princey,” Virgil says “Come on, let's go dance”

Romans never felt happier. Should they never talk about it, Roman was flying that night.

~~~

“Logan!” Patton cries finally identifying the lawyer in the middle of the bustling people. Logan takes Patton's shoulders grounding the excited man. He squeals through a grin, his body vibrating in Logan's hold.

“Yes, Patton?” Logan chuckles, Pattons smile only grows.

“I just saw the most amazing thing!” He exclaims turning around as people eye him, his voice becomes hushed now “Roman and Virgil, out on the balcony...kissing!” He announces, Logan's grip loosens and his enthusiasm disappears.

“Oh, that's wonderful” Logan remarks dryly, he is happy for them of course, it just feels as though the world has been progressing without him.

“Logan! It's more than wonderful! Those two have been dancing around each other for years!” Patton can feel his cheeks hurting but he doesn't care, the night just lights up, the music swelling and his heart bursting. “Oh, I'm so happy” He swoons “Oh! And they're going home together and then they'll cuddle and just have a wonderful night!” Patton hopes

“How many drinks have you had?” Logan questions, staring at the almost dazed figure. Patton, keeping his smile bright lowers his eyes.

“I don't drink, I had a few sugary drinks but nothing alcoholic” he assures, Logan bites his tongue feeling awful at the assumption. Also completely aware of Patton's disdain for alcohol. “I should sit” He jokes dryly, Logan nods leading him over to one of the high-tables. “How's your night?” He wonders, sipping some water that had been placed complementary on the tables.

“Mundane” Logan replies, instantly regretting his words as Patton's grin only dims. “But better, now that I have…” You “Someone to talk to, I never really care for these events” He gestures at the room, the energy behind them buzzing.

“Understandable” Patton nods, he sighs watching as the room only grows stronger. “I'm so excited to go home and see the twins” Patton hangs on the words, stretching at the idea. “Oh! And Barb and Marcy! I feel as though I haven't seen them for ages” He moans

“Well, you don't have to stay” Logan offers, collecting his keys from his coat pocket. The sweet jingle meaning a lot to Patton. He had been here for hours not sure who dropped him off. Riding him in comfortable silence, with a light tune playing as the pair teased each other accidentally meeting somewhere along the dashboard? Well, it sounded more than perfect.

“Oh! But I've barely done anything” Patton says wistfully, his eyes fixed on the option to escape to the warmth of his home. However, he organized the event, he did most of the work he should be here, waiting it out still what's left are the remnants of a spectacular evening.

“How about a dance, one dance and then we can go?” Logan proposes extending his hand, Patton bites his lower lip before taking his hand and invitation. A familiar shock zaps them both, their fingers fitting perfectly together. The lawyer leads him across the floor as the sound slows and a sweet tune plays. A jazzy tone as they brace in each other's arms, Logan leads feeling it be the safer option. Patton, being exhausted, lets him lead. The drowsy motions of the lawyer only add to the soft touch they grace the dancefloor with. The song ends almost too soon, neither had been able to look anywhere but each other. Lingering if only for a second before applauding the night away.

“That was perfect” Patton relaxes content, feeling the energy drain from him as he ascends from his sugary throne. “Thank you” He whispers, seems their hands still connected.

“Home?” Logan twirls his fingers in Pattons, a quick tickle hits the pair.

“Home” he confirms.

99 notes · View notes

tobiomlk · 4 years

Note

those tsukki fluff hcs? i am LIVING. could i get general dating hcs for tobio? 👉👈 good luck with your blog - 🐸

— kageyama as your boyfriend

LISTEN kageyama has a condition where brain is filled by (2) things: volleyball and food. relationships? that doesn’t exists. you’re gonna need either a miracle or a saint’s patience to get anywhere with this nerd, whichever works best for you.

i hope you’re well aware that your luck is on a negative count from the get-go, since 1) his knowlodge about romance is next to none and 2) he’s dense as fuck. even if he’s the one to develop feelings first, he wouldn’t act on those any sooner because he doesn’t even gets what’s going on. he just goes ( ??? ) whenever you smile at him and there’s this funny feeling around his ribcage and he’s 100% sure it’s hunger. so, unless you have the guts to fess up first… get ready to simp over this boy for the longest time.

that or until his teammates ( namely, suga ) do a divine intervention ‘cause damn, he’s so grossly in love, and if kageyama was already in the dark we fucking lost him, because what does it means to be in love??? that’s not a position or a game tactic as far as he’s concerned.

he even goes as far as to seek the textbook definition on dictionaries and spiel to himself like a damned mantra in the hopes he’ll get it but guess what? he doesn’t. if anything, he just further confused with the poor intent of describing such abstract concept with big words.

the whole process of realization is so agonizing and infuriatingly slow, it has gotten to the point where all da fucking team is up to date with the tragedy and they’re even making bets as to how it’s going to end ( tanaka and noya are putting all their money to kageyama not ever knowing about his feelings, ennoshita and the third-graders still have a bit of hope for their son. the first-graders are just enjoying the shitshow. )

but when it finally hits him… that there’s no better place than the one by your side and he couldn’t possibly have it otherwise… then it’s over for both of you.

once tobio is set his way, there’s no stopping him. hell, he might as well blurt it out as soon as he sees you, for all he cares. “it seems like i’ve fallen in love with you”.

but now you returning his feelings??? the most unrealistic and unlikiest scenario. his monkey brain definitively didn’t think out this far and now he’s in shambles. you’ve to spent half of an hour explaining to him that, all of it apparently means that you can be “a couple or something” and you can literally see his braincells combusting through his eyes.

are you going to clown him for his confession for the rest of his life? yes. do you hold the moment close to your heart regardless? Yes You Do.

needless to say, kageyama as a partner is awfully awkward. the boy’s barely familiar with platonic relationships, dating it’s like walking blindfolded onto unknown territory. he’s going to need you to teach him the ropes !!! ( not that you’re complaining, of course you’re not complaining )

being as unapproachable and volleyball-crazy as he’s known to be, i think many people depict kageyama as someone who doesn’t fully invests himself onto his social relations, especially the non-platonic field; because yes, to kageyama, volleyball comes first and foremost, but he’s just as devoted and earnest when it comes to his teammates and friends, and more importantly, you. once there’s something that means a lot to kageyama, he’ll give everything he has to offer, and you aren’t the exception to the rule.

while volleyball still takes most of his time and that won’t change under no circumstances, you can tell he does his best to spend the scarce time he has to spare with you. juggling between his passion and his loved one is not an easy task, but kageyama knew what he was applying himself for and there’s no way he’ll be half-assing, no sir!

at the very least, he always makes sure to walk you home. even if that means he’ll have to return afterwards to the gym, because he always trains ‘til very late and there’s no way he’s gonna keep you waiting that long for him ( you keep telling him it’s fine, that you don’t mind waiting, but he doesn’t relents “no. im taking you home first, then practice. and that’s final. now come here, dumbass.” )

he also calls you every single night before heading to sleep! he can’t stay long on the phone because he needs to go to bed early for morning practice, but just being able to hear your voice… to know about you and your day… is more than enough for him.

honestly it never fails to melt your heart when he begins talking in this raspy, low voice and you can tell he’s sleepy by the way he mumbles his words so you tell him that it’s ok for him to go to sleep now but he just shakes his head in spite of the fact you can’t see him and goes like “i still have a couple of minutes left. i want to hear your voice.” like honestly GET FUCKED !!!!!! HE’S SO LOVELY I’M-

kageyama understands if you have different interests and things you’re passionated about ( in fact, he’ll even try it out just so he can something to share with you! ), but, truly, nothing would make this blueberry as happier than you showing the tiniest bit of interest into volleyball. sometimes, the topic creeps onto your talk and unavoidably, tobio switchs to full nerd mode and starts geeking out about the matches and stuff and he’s just so giddy about it but then he freezes, and realizes he might be info-dumping you about something you probably don’t even care about, so he kinda cuts himself before going on… but the look of sheer happiness he offers you when you encourage him to go on? how his big, doe-eyes lit up once you ask him to explain you more carefully? can you possibly fathom how joyous it makes him to know he can get the best of his favorite things together?

to be honest, you’d expect him to be less considerate and act more fit of the self-centered, entitled king role he has been granted— not saying that he doesn’t slips and has his bossy moments of no filter, because he does, but the thing is: he’s surprisingly open to your opinions, too. over time, he’s been taught that communication is of utmost importance and the only way to understand others and have them understand you, and he’s firmly sure that applies to every aspect of his life. he wants you to know that, just as he speaks his mind, you’re free to do the same.

it’s ok if you argue, it’s ok if your points of view don’t match, because that means you’re talking to each other, and that’s way better than letting things sink without actual closure. kageyama learnt that the rough way. his speech might not be the most articulated or refinated, but he tries his best to get his points accross without unecessarily hurting your feelings. communication is so crucial to him, please, keep it in mind.

with that being said, kageyama’s prone to be unromantic and even insensitive at times with how he voices his opinions, because he’s no concept of sugar-coating and won’t hesitate to tell you if you suck at something, or flawlessly ignore your efforts to put on a lovey-dovey mood. but if you talk him about it and express that you’d like him to have some more tact, he’ll take the note! “tact? ok, ok. i’ll. try to be as tactful as possible from now on and… read the mood? but i make no promises” ( spoiler alert: he keeps telling you that you suck but now he lets you have a sip of his milk and pets your head to soften the blow. )

and speaking of physical affection… god, kageyama is an utter stranger to pda. i mean, the boy is just a prude, unripe blueberry. he doesn’t know how it works, he’s not used to it, and the last thing he wants is to go and do something that’ll put you on a tough spot. your comfort is one of his main priorities, so you have to let him know what’s ok and whatnot, then he’ll start getting the hang of it. once he does, you’ll find out that kageyama is, as a matter of fact, one of the most touch-starved persons you’ll come accross with.

he just can’t seem to get his hands off of you, in the most literal and non-sensual way possible. be it small gestures like your hands brushing together, shoulders bumping, or your heads resting against each others’, kageyama just craves the feeling of your skin against his. despite how bad he denies it, he’s pretty clingy.

you’ve picked on how much he apparently enjoys holding hands, and petting your head, for that matter. you don’t know why, but his hand would always makes its way atop your head. it has even gotten to the point in where he does it out of habit, and when you ask him what’s wrong he just replies “nothing? why do you ask?”

i think kageyama has two stages while he’s on a relationship. the earlier ones, where he cannot lock eyes with you for more than give seconds before going all blushy and stiff, and the advanced ones, in where physical contact has practically become a must and one of his primary functions as a human being to operate naturally.

kageyama’s hugs are so freaking awkward at first… there’s no guides about this. does he just envelops you with his arms ??? and then stay still like that ??? what if he hurts you by holding you too tight ??? oh my god he’s even holding his breath while he’s at it SOMEONE FREE HIM-

and don’t even get me started on the kisses. LISTEN YOU DEFINITIVELY CLASH YOUR TEETH DURING YOU FIRST KISS AND YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND ON THIS ONE !!!!! knowing him, he needs weeks of mental preparation and advice from his god-send suga-senpai before going for it, and when the moment comes… he goes too hard for literally no reason and right after you’re both on the floor whimpering ‘cause that shit HURTED.

“ow, ow… tobio WHAT the HELL” “oh, PISS OFF”

well, at least he has an excuse for rehearsing!!! don’t worry, he’s a fast-learner ;))))

cuddling is just about the same you guys spend all day squirming in order to find a comfortable position and it’s just a mess™ of limbs and giggles.

“wait… maybe if i put my arm around here…” “wait, tobio, you’re tickling me-” “??? don’t laugh !!! STOP LAUGHING THIS IS NOT FUNNY”

but once you finally manage to settle down, god, it’s so pure… kageyama loves to have you in his beefy, setter arms as much as he loves being hold by you. the crook of your neck? a heavingly place for him to rest his head and which belongs to him and him only !!!

look kageyama is so weak for physical affection i’m not even kidding. all you need to calm him down is to rub his back soothingly and he’ll even forget why he was so mad about to begin with. the amount of power you hold over this boy… it genuinely surprises people to see how tame he’s when it comes to you. everyone can agree that if kageyama has a weakness, that’s you.

tobio is not the one to get particularly cheesy or romantic, everyone knows at least that much. however, he has this thing in where he genuinely voices out how great he considers you to be without batting an eyelash which of course makes you super flustered because “why are you getting so cheeky for?” “??? it’s the truth though” SHUT UP IM SOBBING.

you know how slow and oblivious your boy is, so the last thing you expect is him being able to read you as easily? it takes its sweet time, but within the years, kageyama steadily learns to understand you and how do you operate. your habits, your body language, what makes you happy or upset, he knows all of it. he can tell when something’s off just from a glance, yet he’s so nonchalant about it— like it’s obvious to know what’s on your mind. now, does he know how to act knowing this? not really, but give him props, he tries his best!

with all that has happened to him, it should come as no surprise the fact kageyama can get pretty insecure in the relationship. it’s not like he doesn’t trusts or you ( god, the boy could trust you with his life ), but you can’t blame him for letting his insecurities get the best of him. he’s just so, so afraid… that one day you’ll notice how unlikeable he truly is and you end up leaving him, like most of the people have done to him in his life…

tobio desesperately needs the reasurrance, the words of affirmation, to bask on the feeling of knowing he’s so deeply loved, and that he’s no such thing as an unlovable person. i hope you let him know that, just as he lets you know how grateful he’s for having you in his life.

all in all, kageyama can be a blunt, awkward and more than a bit dense partner, but he’s striving to become a better version of himself day by day, so, he secretely wishes you’ll put up with him a little longer.

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sofisticatedgarbage · 4 years

Text

Its been a long time. Oh, how truly I believe in growth through struggle. Time has been, so fierce and vicious and kind and venomous.

I dreamed about you again last night. I dreamed we layed beside each other, sleepy eyes and silence. I saw your face, and still it is the most perfect thing. I don't think my mind will ever let you go, and I still struggle with it.

I want so badly to reach out to you. To shake my soul onto the floor in front of you. To tell you how wrong I was. To tell you how many things I regret, and how much I have learned and grown. I tell you that I am still here, that I haven't forgotten, and I don't know if I ever truly sever my ties to you. I have never loved, the way I loved you. I have never felt such brightness, and peace, and joy when I revisit the best memories of us together.

My sister got married last week; and after the ceremony I couldn't stay. Nothing shatters me like weddings do, now. All I can see in the happy faces are what we could have had; should have had. But we were young, and I was so very, very stupid.

I have no way to reach out to you, I have no plan and I try every day to smash the hope that one day we will reconnect. Even in the smallest form. Even just a Christmas, or birthday card to show you that I am, and will always be here.

I've run so far, and for so long. I can't escape the shadow that my mistakes created. I've emptied enough bottles of rum to rival a hurricane's waters. I've used any and everything I could to escape my mind. I've seen doctors and fucked strangers. I take care of myself the best I know how to, but I know that im trying to fit the wrong pieces into the void I have.

When I dream of you, it's the greatest peace I can explain. I wake up, but don't want to open my eyes, because if I pretend hard enough it's real for another second or two. Maybe that peace is what I will have now, your occasional visits in my sleep.

I can't describe how much I miss you. Your laugh embedded in my brain, your face, those unbelievably perfect eyes that I could look into for years. I miss your fire and your fury and you compassion. I miss you, so fucking much.

I don't know what to do, but until I do. Until something changes, I guess I will just have to keep writing.

All of my love, forever.

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tgwlpau · 5 years

Note

How does the gang meet?

Ooo!! Yay headcanons!!

Ted and Charlotte meet first, seeing as they reign from the same region. They meet when they both arrive at the lab to receive their first pokemon! Prof.Sycamore is out on a research trip so our traveling Prof.Hidgens steps in to help out the young trainers.

Ted is eager to pick his first Pokemon while Charlotte simply wants to learn more about them questioning Prof.Hidgens. Ted immediately picks a little Froakie, he questions why Charlotte hasn’t picked one.

“I’m not really much of a trainer” She comments, he’s puzzled by this but finds it intriguing.

When Ted is leaving he and his Froakie are having slight trouble communicating, He sees Charlotte approach followed by a gorgeous Sylveon who looks delighted. She kneels down next to the Froakie and almost immediately befriends him.

They hang out a little while before Charlotte is called home due to a Pokemon emergency.

Bill and Emma are next, Its Hoenns day for picking your starter pokemon.

Emma is first in line at the lab and takes some time to talk with the eccentric Prof.Hidgens. He happily answers all her questions while she plays with his Piplup.

Bill is very shy and is stressing over his decision. He’s gone over everything he knows about his three options. (More on this when I describe how they picked their starters). He bumps into Prof.Hidgens and Emma while deep in thought, apologizing over and over before rejoining the line.

Paul had just arrived in Hoenn and is marveling at the new area, he is very exhausted after traveling by boat all day to reach the island and decides to rest in one of the forests. Emma is out looking for Pokemon on a slow day when she encounters a small Bulbasaur.

The pokemon looks unusually frightened and shys away from her. She approaches it slowly with her hand out. She hears a very distressed voice shouting through the forest growing stronger as it approaches. She fears the voice will scare the Pokemon but it seems it recognizes the voice

“Oh, Budo! There you are!” A boy emerges from the shadows, he throws himself at the very excited Bulbasaur who wraps his vines around the boy. The boy becomes aware of the girl’s presence and looks up

“Oh hi.. I’m Paul!” He looks down at his Bulbasaur “Sorry we were resting and I guess we got lost”

“I’m Emma! And your Bulbasaur is very cute” They remain awkwardly silent for a moment before Emma asks the inevitable “So… where are you from? I’m from.. well here!” She exclaims

“I’m from Kanto but I’m traveling all around! I’m not the best trainer but I love Pokemon and think I’m getting better” They discuss for awhile before night falls and they must part ways. Not, however, before Emma offers to help him train and they make plans to meet up tomorrow.

Bill and Paul meet shortly after this. Bill is walking around town reading followed by a very excited Eevee and a sleepy Mudkip lay on his head. Paul is exploring with his Psyduck trying to calm him down, his Bulbasaur following behind.

They bump into each other making the Mudkip fall into Paul who quickly catches it. The Eevee tries its best to intimidate Paul but its just too cute. Paul gets the message and hands the Mudkip back to the boy.

Bill adjusts his glasses “Oh thank you! I apologize, I was very caught up with my reading” He looks towards his Eevee “Sorry about him, he’s very passionate about his friends, I’m Bill by the way” he extends his hands, Paul shakes it firmly.

“I’m Paul” He gestures towards his Bulbasaur and Psyduck “This is Budo and Kincho” Bill’s eyes widen and he kneels down.

“Extraordinary” He whispers in awe. Paul gives him a weird look, Bill quickly resumes his position.

“Sorry, I’ve just never seen one before. He’s very cute and looks to be in excellent health and your Psyduck looks very calm” Paul beams with pride giving his Bulbasaur a high five, Budo responds with a vine five. The boys decide to head to a cafe nearby and spend all day talking about Pokemon. Paul learns more about his Pokemon from a very eager Bill. Bill hears about Pauls adventures across the regions and his love for Pokemon.

After this Bill starts joining the training sessions with Emma in the forest. However, he’s mainly there with his Eevee and his research equipment. The three become very fast friends.

Paul receives news from Kanto about his family, he must act quickly. He fully expects to have to say goodbye to his friend however when arriving at their final training session both Bill and Emma are ready and packed for a long journey.

The gang makes their way to Kanto and stay for a while before Paul receives confirmation that everything is ok. The group decides to head west to Johto to progress their Pokemon journey.

After a long day of travelling, they make camp in a secluded spot in the forest, Paul falls asleep first nestled closely with his Bulbasaur. Emma is next after a small training session with her Torchic and her newly found Eevee she met while in Kanto. Bill stays by the fire cuddled with his Eevee and leaning sleepily on his newly found Snorlax reading a book about the Johto area (Also found in Kanto)

He plans to sleep but suddenly he hears shouting and grunting deep in the forest. He becomes alert and motions for his Eevee to awaken the others.

They all approach slowly towards the noise cautiously and quickly hide behind a bush. They watch as two figures can be made out. A purple light is being emitted from the scene.

“Leave me alone!” A young girls voice shouts. She isn’t afraid but determined, Bills watches as the girl commands an order. He looks to where she is commanding and sees an Espeon. The Espeon is in a fighting stance, determination coursing through its eyes. Paul nudges Bill and points towards what appears to be the young girls opponent.

“Should we help?” Emma whispers. Bill considers this for a moment but before he can answer, the young girl makes another command. Shes good. She defeats the opposing Pokemon before scolding the opponent.

The three friends watch in awe as the opposing trainer races off in anger leaving his injured pokemon behind. The young girl sighs in sadness and approaches the Pokemon. “I’m so sorry” She whispers “You’re really hurt, we need to get you to a Poke Center” She claims. Bill knows better and pops out quickly.

“It won’t make it,” he says, much to the shock of his friends. The girl turns quickly in shock, holding a Mimikyu. He hears all his friends gasp at the sight of the Pokemon. It shouldn’t be here, it traveled a long way just to be abandoned. “Please let me help” the girl is weary at first before allowing Bill to help.

The group goes back to the camp and talk while Bills helps the Pokemon, assisted very eagerly by his Eevee.

“I’m Alice by the way…”. The group nod and introduce themselves. After a while, they all decide to rest and deal with everything in the morning.

Bill claims that Alice should keep the Mimikyu, to which she excitedly agrees to. The two become fast friends, and the group all agree to ask if she would like to join their journey. “I would love to,” She says honestly

They spend the day getting to know each other. Alice almost has a complete team of six, much to the group’s surprise. She’s the youngest of the four, but dont let that stop you. Shes extremely smart and tactical. Her pokemon are strong and very well cared for.

The group spends some more time in Johto, Paul gains a very chaotic Eevee. They decide to head north to Kalos to continue their journey.

Almost immediately they are confronted by a young trainer who challenges a very timid Bill to battle. Paul volunteers to take his place and they battle. Paul sends out his Bulbasaur, while the boy sends out a Froakie. Emma sighs at his obvious stupidity.

“Water types are weak against grass types” She comments. The boy glares at her then poses a very smug smile at Paul.

“That might be so, but my Froakie is extremely good” With this remarks, the boys battle it out, eventually declaring the boy the winner. Paul sighs discouraged comforted by a lowkey surprised Emma. Shell never admit it but she was impressed.

“I’m Ted by the way, but you can call me the best Pokemon Master” The group groans at Ted. Alice thinks for a moment before stepping forward.

“I’ll battle you" She claims. Ted’s smug smile falls as he stares at the girl. He scoffs but Alice doesn’t give in. “You scared?”

At this Ted becomes determined and accepts her battle request. Ted sends out his Machop, Alice smiles extremely smug and sends out her Espeon. Who takes one look at the Machop and smiles. The battle lasts about two minutes before Ted is unfortunately beat, he claims good game but shakes her hand just a little too hard.

Alice’s victory is short as she feels a Pokeball move around in her bag. She pulls it out and summons her Mimikyu. The group is shocked to find it in such bad shape.

Ted quickly volunteers to take them to a friend of his who can help. He claims there isn’t a Poke Center too nearby. He leads the group to a small house, located in a beautiful plane of grass. Surrounded by flowers and a small river.

A young girl is seen gardening assisted by a beautiful Sylveon and a very smug Delcatty. She smiled excitedly upon seeing Ted and the group of friends. She approaches them with a never faltering smile. She gives Ted a quick hug, his face flushes red before they let go. She turns to the others.

“I’m Charlotte!” They hurry their introductions and alert Charlotte of the situation. She nods and carefully takes the Mimikyu inside. She tends to it, much to the group surprise, it heals very quickly. While the ghost type rests she offers them food and they all talk about their journeys. Ted explains how he wishes he could travel around like them, Charlotte agrees and describes her passion for Pokemon. Emma invites them to join the journey. They both agree.

And that’s that. Im so sorry about how long this is. I was not expecting it. More will come soon though, how they found all their pokemon, getting their starters and more! Hope you enjoyed :)

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mrschangrettawrites · 5 years

Text

Acquisitions

Summary: Every person has their purpose, and yours has just come up.

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Reader

Words: 1692

Notes: FINALLY AN UPDATE AFTER SIX MONTHS FDKNGKDOFNGDKFNGOD god im so sorry it has taken this long to update but i've gotten a job since starting this fic and it's consumed much of my time, then the holidays were upon us and, well, yall know how it goes. but i got hit with inspo during my shift today so here it is! the long awaited fourth chapter! hopefully future updates wont be as delayed but who knows lmao. anyways thanks for waiting! minor tw for violence. Spoilers for season four, but it is v canon divergent so not really very many, reader is a WOC. I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! And be sure to tick Store this replacement so that you don’t have to do it every time.

Tagging: @kittiofdoom @justanothergal22 @sophspark @blinder-secrets @ree-duh @kamala-khaan if you would like to be tagged just lmk!

Just as the tension was getting to be almost too overwhelming, a waiter arrived with two menus, and you had never been so relieved to be served in your life.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling brightly as you took one and did your best to hide behind it under the guise of reading the dishes on offer. Thankfully there were pork free dishes on offer, which made you remember that you were going to have to educate Luca on Islam and it’s rules. Then you wondered if he would be as open and kind about there being another religion in his home as your father had been prior to his reversion. You guessed that Luca was Catholic, and while there were similarities between Catholicism and Islam, there were far more glaring differences.

“When we have our wedding,” you began hesitantly, “will it be in a church?”

“If I know my mother as well as I think I do, I doubt we’ll have a choice.” Luca joked. “Why?”

“Just checking!” You said quickly, going back to the menu. Even though there had not been a masjid in Small Heath, you had always dreamed of getting married in one. Your parents had to go all the way to London, so you figured that you would be able to do the same. Would New York have masjids? Would it have Muslims? Would it have Turkish Muslims?

“What's New York like?”

Luca paused, setting his menu down. “Well, for one, it’s a lot bigger than Small Heath.”

That made you smile. “I thought as much.”

“I don’t know, it’s just...hard to describe.” Luca drummed his fingers on the table, making your gaze flit down to his hand, and watch how elegantly it moved. “It’s full of life.” He said finally, his hand still again. “Everywhere you go there’s at least twelve dozen people around you, even at night it’s busy. Makes Small Heath look pretty sleepy in comparison.”

Your heart hammered in your chest as you considered this. Your mind ran wild with images of towering spires, roads that went on for kilometers, people dressed in all manner of ways. Your life had been a sheltered one, but that was all about to change.

A waiter soon arrived, asking for your orders.

“I’ll have the chicken Alfredo.” Luca said. He and the waiter both looked over at you, waiting for your order.

You began to panic as you had become too wrapped up in your thoughts to think of an order. “Oh um, make it two!” You said, inwardly wincing at how your voice raised at the end.

But the waiter made no indication of noticing, merely made a note of the orders and said that the kitchen would get right to it.

You looked back down at your teacup, eyes traveling over the lines, both dark and faint, trying to figure out what they were trying to tell you, if anything.

“Have you had much Italian food?” Luca asked, and you were grateful for the distraction.

“Not really.” You said. “Just Turkish and English food.”

“Well I can’t speak on Turkish food, but English stuff sucks.” Luca said bluntly.

A giggle slipped from you. “It can be pretty bland.” You agreed. “I mean, the English have an empire that spans the entire globe, with colonies that have incredible spices, but they never use them in cooking for some reason.” That would never cease to bamboozle you.

Luca grinned and chuckled. “I know Matteo can’t wait to be back in New York with proper food.”

You furrowed your brow. “Which one is he?”

Luca raised a brow, but pointed at a booth just a few meters away, where you recognised two of Luca’s men. “The one of the left is Matteo, and the other is Frederico.” He explained. “Matteo can be a little hot headed, but he’s loyal. Frederico is more quiet.” His gaze went back to you. “And they will both protect you.”

While the notion of being protected and watched by gangster was far from a new one, the gangsters in question were usually men you knew well. You glanced at them nervously. “So, they’re ok with this whole marriage thing.”

“That’s irrelevant.” Luca said dismissively. “They’re soldiers, and they’ll do what they’re told.”

You knew that was meant to put you at ease, but it didn’t work. They had orders yes, but orders have been ignored before. And you couldn’t help but wonder how they really felt about their leader marrying some girl from England, who belonged to a family that not a week ago they were planning to kill. You fisted the fabric of your dress that rested on your lap.

“W-Why me?” You asked quietly. You had managed to keep the question away from the front of your mind so far, but you needed to know. “Why would you choose me? If you were going to marry anyone, Ada would’ve been the smart choice. She’s Tommy’s sister, and she already has a son, she knows how to…” You trailed off, face burning. “Well, you know.” You cleared your throat. “Why are you marrying me?”

Luca was silent, his unreadable, impassive gaze slowly going over you. It made the hairs all over your body stand up, in fact your surprised that the hair on your head hadn’t all magically sprung to life. “I wanted to repay a debt.”

You furrowed your brow. “Debt? What debt? You don’t owe me anything.”

“It isn’t my debt.” Luca clarified. “It’s my mother’s.”

“Your...mother?”

He nodded. “She hasn’t forgotten, how you got her out of Small Heath.”

Oh. You looked back down, face flushing again. “I didn’t help your mum to have her in my debt.” You said, horrified that that’s what they, the Changretta’s and their people, all thought.

“I know.” Luca sounded calm, patient. “My mother said you weren’t that type. But you still got her out of Thomas’s path, and because of you she’s alive. I’m just repaying you. Now we’re even.”

You nodded, slowly, still not sure what to make of this reason, if it was in fact the truth.

If you were completely truthful, you hadn’t been thinking at all when you had gone to help Audrey Changretta. You just knew that her husband was dead, after hours of torture, and you knew that Tommy wouldn’t have thought twice to go after her. You still remembered that day, as if it had just happened.

While the early morning fog had still clung to your ankles, you raced to her home, heart hammering. You were terrified that you were too late or that she wasn’t home, but she was there, tired and a little disheveled, but there.

“You have to leave.” You had blurted out. “I’m so sorry. Tommy’s killed your husband and you have to go I’m so sorry I really am but you need to go please, please just go!”

It had taken you a few minutes to calm down and fully explain everything, but once you had, Mrs Changretta did as you asked. You even helped her pack, and kept an eye out for any Blinders. You went with her to the train station, all the while telling her how sorry you were. You were almost hysterical, and in tears by the time her train arrived. You thought that would be the last time you ever saw a Changretta.

When Tommy heard that Mrs Changretta was gone, he was livid. You had walked in on him yelling at John and Arthur, demanding that they go out and find her, leave no stone unturned, no person unquestioned. He was going to have his pound of flesh, one way or another.

“She’s gone.” Once again your mouth had moved faster than your brain could think, and you stared, wide eyed, as the three brothers and Polly all looked at you in shock.

“She’s what.” Tommy’s tone had been dripping with venom, and it sent a chill all through you.

“I’m sorry Tommy but I-I helped her leave.” You wilted a little, hunched over, equal parts ashamed and scared. “She didn’t do anything Tommy! She-”

You were cut off by the feel of skin colliding harshly against your cheek, sending you to the ground.

In a daze you looked up, to see Tommy being restrained by Arthur and John, while Polly screamed at him.

“YOU DON’T RAISE A HAND TO FAMILY LIKE THAT THOMAS!” You had never seen your aunt so furious, and it had only made your state worse.

“DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” Thomas roared, eyes alight with rage. “YOU BETRAY THIS FAMILY AGAIN AND YOU’RE OUT!”

You began to cry. “I-I’m sorry Tommy! I’m sorry!” You wept and begged for forgiveness, but that had only angered Tommy further.

“Should ship you to fucking Istanbul!” He snarled. He paused when a child’s cries began to echo in the house, making him look at the ceiling. “And you fucking woke up Charlie!” Tommy managed to shake off his two brothers, and he glared down at you before getting out a cigarette. “I mean it.” He said, in his low, quiet, dangerous voice. “If you ever pull that shit again, I’ll put you in a fucking crate myself.”

Even after Polly got you out of the house you were sobbing, still saying how sorry you were.

“Don’t be sorry sweetheart.” Polly had said gently. “You did a good thing.”

‘Did I?’

“How is your mother?” You asked, trying to ignore the memory of the stinging pain from Tommy’s slap.

“She’s alive, which is what matters.” Luca smiled gently. “Thank you. I mean that. My mother is all I have left now.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. “I would do it again.” You said, only realizing how true it was once all the words had left your mouth.

“Two chicken Alfredos.” The waiter had reappeared, carrying the dishes on a silver platter and laying them out in front of the both of you.

“Grazie.”

“Thank you so much.”

The waiter nodded before moving onto another table.

“Still can’t believe you people don’t tip.” Luca said, sounding genuinely mistified.

“What’s a tip?”

#luca changretta x reader #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinders x reader #GUESS WHO'S BACK #BACK AGAIN

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jj-ktae · 6 years

Text

Fragrance VIII : Ambergris (End)

Title : Fragrances

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Romance

Pairing : Jaebum x Reader

Summary : You are a perfume composer, he is a lyricist, and while you’re left with too many possibilities, he is out of inspiration. Your only bond is an unknown fragrance.

- Teaser - Vetiver - Chypre - Fougère - Leather - Oud - Neroli - Gourmand - Ambergris -

Fragrance VIII : Ambergris

Ambergris is one of the most valuable raw materials in perfumery, with a smell that’s described as “ocean-y and sweet.” The interesting part is how it’s produced—it’s basically sperm whale excrement that floats in the water, gets oxidized by the sun, and turns into a substance that’s washed ashore.

Jaebum never talked more in his entire life. You listen to him as he talks about everything, from his childhood to the first time he landed a foot in a music studio. You get to know about his family, his relationship with his parents, how he grew up with his best friend Jinyoung. It’s not a sad story, and if it wasn’t for him sniffing from time to time, or stopping to think about the right words, it sounds like some average tale about a rich kid growing up among people he doesn’t belong to.

Jaebum reveals all the details, from when he tried to physically hurt himself for the first time to when he escaped home to live on his own.

You understand how powerful his family is and most importantly, from where he got his taciturn side from. Jaebum doesn’t care anymore, he is opening the Pandora box, revealing everything he thought he should be shameful of.

You don’t talk, you don’t let him think you’re annoyed by the situation, you don’t want him to think that you’re just doing this out of pity. Jaebum stops from time to time to look at you and makes sure you’re still with him, attentive and caring. It’s exactly the way you act. He sees it.

He asked you to stay and you gladly did, opening your arms to welcome his broken self on the floor. He gripped you with all he had, his usually deep voice turning high with sadness. It’s only when you couldn’t feel your knees anymore that you decided to make him lay down to relax. At first it looked like you were tucking a kid in bed, which Jaebum didn’t look satisfied of so he lifted the sheet so you could join him, his hopeful eyes begging for a positive answer.

This is how you ended hugging his body in the now pitch dark room. He started talking as soon as he felt secure enough to do so, which meant when you were both so close to each other you could hear his heartbeat.

He isn’t disturbed by this, and like the lost soul he is, his head rushed for your neck, hiding his sobs and puffy eyes.

But now it’s hard to concentrate. Jaebum doesn’t know what he is doing and you don’t want to be too intrusive so you’re a little frozen, hand limp by your side and lips pinched. You never thought the smell could be this strong but it makes sense. You’re tangled in these sheets and his hair tickle your face. It’s a lot to handle for you but you have to keep a good stance. It’s not about perfumes anymore, it’s about a boy in distress.

“I’m sorry I’m talking so much.” He says after a long silence and it makes you go back on earth. You look down and finally notice he is already peeking at you, embarrassed by the situation.

You slowly shake your head, the glimpse of a smile unnoticed in the dark. “Keep going, I’m listening. I don’t mind.”

But Jaebum sighs, and he sounds disappointed. “I’m such a burden.”

“It’s because you don’t want to be a burden that you keep everything for yourself and think of hurting yourself. Just do whatever can make you feel a bit better, I’m here for that.” It’s true. You want him to know he can count on you no matter what and most importantly, you don’t want him to hurt himself anymore. You want him to find relief, no matter what it is. So if it means this, you don’t mind and you’d do it anytime.

From the very beginning, Jaebum has a special spot in your mind. It started with your obsession over his smell, but now you don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s deeper, maybe it melted and transformed into a will to make him happy.

It’s a waste, after all, to meet someone who can make you feel so many things and not keep him. It’s only normal that you want him to feel the same way he makes you feel unknowingly.

Jaebum chuckles softly when he goes back to your neck. “You shouldn’t be here for that. There are people who can make you laugh and I’m here, a weak mess, bland and empty.” You don’t catch his reference to Jackson and the scene he noticed earlier, but it still makes no sense for you.

“I want to stay.” Your answer makes him flinch. You notice the way his body freezes, like you said something you shouldn’t have.

“It’s because of this smell thing.” You don’t expect him to say that, but you can’t blame him. He doesn’t know the complexity of your feelings, so he thinks you’re here for your own profit. You don’t know how to explain it to him, so when he feels you won’t answer, he shifts, moving apart from you.

You understand what he means right away. “So you think I’m using your smell to make this perfume.” You sigh. “I shouldn’t have talked that much last night.” You rub your face, a feel of frustration filling you from god knows where. You have to explain everything to him right now before he gets the wrong opinion.

But you don’t even know how to do so.

“Your smell is the first thing that hit me. It was intense, and very unusual. In the perfume industry, we have this belief that smell has a power. Everyone has a special smell, an odour that can pull you in. In my case, it happened when I saw you on that bridge. It was surprising because I can identify a lot of smells, but I couldn’t put a word on yours. It’s only when I noticed you were about to do something to yourself that I decided to bring you here.”

Jaebum stays silent, it makes you feel anxious all of a sudden.

“So yeah, maybe your smell is what pushed me to bring you here, but it was never because I needed it to make it a perfume. It inspired me, I admit, but at the same time it wasn’t just a way to achieve my goal. It has nothing to do with me trying to using you for my own profit.”

So far you’re doing well. Jaebum is still next to you. But he speaks again. “What does it have to do with...?” His voice is quiet, his tone calm, his body relaxed.

“I don’t know. I just- It’s special. I’ll never find someone who makes me feel the way you do. So maybe it sounds weird, but I need you close. Your smell is nothing without you, it’s not just about an odour or perfumes. It’s just you.” It sounds mushy, it’s hard to say this, and it’s only when you say it to him that it makes sense in your head.

You’re in love with Im Jaebum. From his smell to what he represents, everything’s pulling you in. For a minute, you don’t believe it, it’s nonsense, how can it transform into feelings?

You don’t hear anything for the next minutes. God, he is going to escape and you’ll never see him again.

“I’m special?” he whispers like it’s a big secret.

“To me, yes. I don’t need a lot from you, just you existing and being here is enough for me, really. So if you want to stay and live here I don’t mind.” It’s your last try to make him stay. It sounds like the biggest confession you ever made, but why hide it when he needs someone to tell him how important he is?

Jaebum shifts on the bed, but you don’t see what’s happening. It’s too quiet, it makes the atmosphere heavy. You don’t know him enough to predict what is going to happen.

“Thank you” is all he says. There are no movements on the bed, no dipping, no tossing, Jaebum is simply laying, but it doesn’t take long before he moves again. You feel his arms first, they’re soft and lazy, circling your waist. Next is his head, going back where is was earlier.

You stay put and wait for him to say more but he doesn’t, and you understand he is long gone when your feel soft puffs of hair against your skin, tingling.

---

“Universal” Bambam has been repeating the word like it was magic for the past hour, making you look at Jackson weirdly from your spot in the kitchen.

It was early when they arrived. You were still sleeping in Jaebum’s bed and the thought only is still making you shiver. The way he was pressed against you and how hard it was to get away from his sleepy grip is too much for you and you end up spacing out as Jackson is presenting the pieces he came up with.

“Universal means it’s made for everyone. A unisex fragrance means a unisex collection. Check this out.” He lets the sheets fall in front of Bambam who whistles loudly, making you jump to go back on earth.

“That’s wicked. I love it. What do you think, boss?” The always shiny Bambam looks at you and you nod. It’s pretty, with boys wearing skirts and girls rocking tuxedos. Jackson’s choice of colours goes from deep brown to gold, with touches of deep green and beige. It’s pretty and earthy, just like the base notes you picked for the perfume.

“Suits the Oak Moss and Fougère.” You whisper, fingers grazing over the drawings.

Jackson looks proud as he puts an arm around your shoulder, nudging you softly. “I did some researches! It wasn’t just a simple choice of colours. I wanted it to stick to your own concept because I find it brilliant.”

The ghost of a smile creeps on your face as Jackson explains the way he came up with such a fitting collection. He stares back at you with the same knowing smile while Bambam does weird moves, which you can now identify as a way to express his happiness.

This kid is seriously crazy.

“G’morning.” The deep voice makes you jump as you hear Jaebum’s voice. His face is a mess as he greets you three. You don’t dare turning to meet him, hiding behind Jackson’s broad body instead and you’re lucky the latter doesn’t notice the way you avoid your roommate.

Jaebum tilts his head swiftly, eyes hidden behind wild locks as he notices the way Jackson’s arms is around you, but says nothing and walks to the counter to get some coffee.

“We brought food!” Bambam tells him but Jaebum simply shakes his head, deeply concentrated on his own cup.

You say nothing and Jackson starts shaking your body to break the heavy silence. “What’s wrong? You don’t look too happy.”

You don’t want to answer, not when Jaebum is right behind you, and certainly not when Jackson’s body is too close to yours. You take a step back, fighting the urge to look at Jaebum whose smell is invading the air like poison.

“I’m just, well, tired. It’s good. I’m glad we’re done.” You don’t sound genuine, but Jackson knows better than push you and chuckles, going back to his works with a triumphant smile.

“By the way, how did you come up with the ambergris note last night?” Bambam asks suddenly before stuffing his mouth with a hot croissant. You want him to choke on it as he doesn’t know what he is doing right now.

Last night, you came up with the last element while Jaebum held you, his silent sobs echoing into your ribcage and ripping your guts.

“Oh yeah, what happened last night? Do you ever stop working?” Jackson scolds you because he thinks you stayed up late to finish it but it’s none of these, it’s not like you searched for it.

Whenever you’re close to Jaebum, your brain starts processing everything like an engine.

“Nothing happened. It just came to me.” You mumble, not seeing the way Jaebum stopped drinking to look at you three.

“You’re such a genius! Isn’t she a genius?” Bambam gets up and nods at Jaebum who freezes on his spot. He knows how you came up with it. Now that he knows everything, he can easily guess when this popped up into your head.

He agrees faintly, adding to your embarrassment and walks where you three are.

It’s like agony, the way his smells get stronger with each step. He stops right next to you to peak at Jackson’s drawing.

“I’ll be working all day. I won’t be back until late.” He says it to no one in particular, and while Bambam and Jackson ignore the moment to squeak like little girls, you know why he says this.

He doesn’t want you to worry about him after what happened last night.

You look up to meet his gaze and it’s nothing but tender.

You don’t even notice how much he wants to hold you again before walking away, and it’s better that way. That’s what Jaebum thinks as he goes back to his room to get prepared.

You’re left on your spot, right between a singing Bambam and a dancing Jackson and everything is blurry.

Your heart is beating so fast.

---

“I’m nervous,” Youngjae hates these moments. He hates it when he is showing his projects to his managers, waiting for their approval. The two men are listening to the music sample, the song they recorded. Jaebum doesn’t look nervous, but deep inside he is mess. From the moment he woke up, he knew he wouldn’t be ready to deal with such a big event.

He is too emotionally unstable to control his anxiety.

“It’s...” One of the two men looks up to the two worried boys with a blank face. He tilts his head, blinks, bits his lip.

“It’s...?” Youngjae sits up in the leather office chair, his huge hat moving with every nod.

Jaebum doesn’t move, arms crossed against the table and eyes focused. If he fails this, he will never be able to do music again. Youngjae’s company is huge and if they don’t like the song, he will be pretty much cancelled from the music world for a long time.

“Brilliant. The concept, the lyrics, the voice, it’s perfect. You needed this, Youngjae, you needed to show everyone your broken and fragile side. I love how powerful your voice is when it sings such heart-breaking lyrics.” He second man explains, his eyes shiny. He can already imagine a music video, with the pretty boy lost and broken into a deserted place.

Youngjae releases a breath, but before he can answer, the manager speaks again.

“I see Defsoul is up to his reputation.” The man offers a hand. “Thank you for doing this.”

Jaebum blinks at him, his tired brain still trying to process the huge amount of positivity in the air. “Thank you,” He shakes the hand back, voice like cotton and tone extra soft.

“So, Youngjae, we need to talk about the promotional schedule. The music video will be filmed by the end of the week so we can release the single in two weeks. I’m so glad we made it before the deadline.” The second man sounds relieved like his position is on the line.

They get up and shake hands with Jaebum, who is astonished next to a beaming and dancing Youngjae.

He made it.

---

“We made a PowerPoint presentation,” Bambam takes a long stick and hits it against a huge projection screen. He readjusts his glasses and you scoff, rolling your eyes.

Bambam is really, really crazy.

“YOU did a PowerPoint presentation. We were okay with a simple persentation.” Jackson shots from his spot behind you and the lady who tries to hide his laugh in vain.

“I’m sorry you had to work with these people,” She finally admits when she leans toward you, her bright pink lips curving into a mocking smile.

You sigh and shake your head, “Bambam, hurry.” You’re too anxious to deal with him, you need to know if you did well. It’s a super important moment, not only perfume-wise, but also in terms of abilities.

It’s your first own creation. It’s the first time you do something from scratch, it’s the first time you follow your instincts. You need to know if you did well.

Bambam clicks on the tiny remote control and it appears.

Jackson came up with a bottle design and the lady discovers the name, in shiny and small golden letters.

Universal.

The bottle is pretty, squared and the glass is faintly ridged. Around it, Jackson drew ivy, slowly going up to wrap around the base of the bottle. Oak-moss upholsters the floor with soft yet deep green touches and it’s everything but complicated. It’s simple, it sticks to the concept and the components.

“Universal is a return to the roots, it’s essential and earthy, it’s a thousand miles away from gold, diamonds but it’s glamourous, it holds all the preciousness of the world with the golden letters and refined glass. This fragrance doesn’t stick to a type of person, it’s not a perfume for men or women, it’s from the universality of a whole planet. It’s a unisex fragrance.”

Bambam talks like he is about to sell his own brand. Voice and stance proud. He shows another page with a chart. “Here is the chart with the components in the perfume. We picked elements of earth for the Base note, such as Oak Moss and Fougère. The middle note is a unique one: Oriental leather which adds charm and identity.” Bambam taps the stick against the screen with every word. It’s like he is giving a lecture to apprentices. “The top notes are fruity and bubbly, it gives a soft touch and lightens the fragrance. The idea is for it to be joyful and not dramatic, but still serious. We want a fragrance that talks to everyone, so we insisted on a duality in the elements.”

You are amazed by the explanation. Bambam knows exactly what you want to express, he picked his words wisely, and you see in his eyes he is worried.

He is doing his best for you. He wants you to know how wonderful and skilled you are.

“Wow,” You look to the side swiftly and you see the lady hum in approval.

At the same time, you feel Jackson’s hand on your shoulder, but you’re frozen. You can’t interact with others right now. It’s a blackout in your head.

“Universal is a unisex fragrance so it’s wearable by everyone, without any distinction.” Bambam approaches the lady and offers a hand. “Give me your wrist.”

When she gives him her delicate skin, he sprays the tiny sample on her wrist and it hits you as soon as it fills the air. You can feel it, it’s awesome. It turns your insides deliciously, it’s unique.

Next to you, Bambam waits for the pensive lady to speak. She waves her wrist in front of her face and makes numerous faces. It’s like she is tasting expensive wine.

After a while, you hear Jackson growl, his patience going away with every second.

“I knew it.” She says and the three of you freeze.

“W-w-what do you mean?” Bambam stutters because he knows his boss. She could destroy them with the back of her hand.

“You’re a genius.” She turns her head and you are greeted with her happy face. “I knew you’d do great. I always did.”

You don’t know if you should laugh or cry, it’s too much to bear, it’s the result of so many tears, uncertainty, pain, doubt.

You can’t believe you made it.

You jump on your seat when you hear Bambam’s happy squeal. Jackson laughs while Bambam starts dancing wildly and it’s the embodiment of joy right in front of you.

“Great, great! I will now explain the concept of the fashion line imagined by the Ateliers Wang.” Bambam does finger gun gestures toward Jackson who imitates him and it suddenly feels like freedom.

The rest of the day is one of the brightest you ever had. Everything is shiny, the weather is clear, your smile never leaves your face but you need one thing, just one person to talk to.

You need Jaebum to achieve this. You need to tell him, you need him to know how good he did, how important he is.

You come back home after a little celebration at your boss’ office, but the flat is empty, as expected. Jaebum told you he would work until late and after some cleaning, you decide to lay down in the living-room.

When was the last time you relaxed?

It’s quiet and you enjoy this newly found feeing of completeness with a smug smile on your face. You still can’t believe you made it, and it triggers something in you, a tiny voice that praises your skill and whispers soft words into your ears.

You did great.

You’re a real perfume composer.

Your perfume is amazing.

You smile to yourself as you stare at the ceiling, but your phone takes you out of your meditative state, and you’re not even bothered by your boss’ voice.

“Just got a call. I see you did well, Y/N.” You can picture him running around, counting the amount of money he will get after you succeed in creating a damn good perfume.

You simply roll your eyes, too proud to beam at him. “Thank you.”

“So now you deserve this vacation I told you about. You’ll be quite busy from now anyways, with the launching. Congrats, I’m very proud of you, Y/N”

You can simply hum, a bit emotional.

It’s true. You’re going to be busy and the brand will probably make you go to many business parties or even do interviews. It’s scary, but when you think of all the things you went through for this perfume, it’s nothing.

Nothing can beat the level of anxiety you felt while making this perfume from scratch.

Your head feels heavy with every souvenir and you drift off, brain and mind light as feathers.

It’s like a huge cloud, warm and fuzzy. It’s velvet brushing your bare skin, soothing yet firm. You don’t remember sleeping this well, but then again, today is not like any other day. It feels like an eternity when you come back to your sense. The bright day is gone and the sky is dark, with hints of grey. You toss and turn in the comfy sofa, limbs numb and mind fuzzy and try to fall asleep again.

But it’s time to wake up, and you’re starting to feel hungry so you open your eyes with a heavy heart, and you almost sneeze when your nose is tickled by a bunch of thick, dark hair.

It takes a while to process the fact that Jaebum is also asleep, leaning against the fluffy furniture. His is seated on the floor, and his hair is softly resting against the armrest, just next to your own.

When you sit up, it takes him out of his own slumber and he peeks behind him when he feels the fluffy material deepen behind him. It’s the first time you see him before actually smelling him, and you blame your exhausted envelop for not being able to function anymore.

“Oh...you’re up.” It seems like Jaebum wasn’t planning on falling asleep, because he looks embarrassed.

“Hm...” Your hand goes to your eye and you try rubbing the fatigue out of your eyelid.

Jaebum gets up and flattens his sweatshirt with hesitant fingers, his eyes looking everywhere but toward you.

He isn’t ready, he was never ready for the idea of you.

“When did you came back?” You mumble and he shakes his head. Both of you have no idea why he does this.

“Not long. Maybe an hour.” He checks the clock on the wall and takes a step back.

It’s like he is afraid of you breaking him.

You don’t dare asking why was he sleeping on the floor and get up, stretching out. You suddenly brighten when you think about what you’re about to tell him but you don’t get the chance to speak as he is already heading toward the kitchen.

It’s surprising, but you’re in such a good mood, you don’t even notice something is wrong with him.

“Are you cooking dinner?” You ask with the softest voice you can find, but Jaebum shakes his head, not even deigning turning to look at you.

“Just heating some things.” His tone is different, it’s nothing you’ve ever heard. It’s icy.

You refuse to believe he is actually talking to you now.

“By the way, today was the presentation of my perfume,” You lean against the kitchen table, hands clutch together. “My boss loved it. She was amazed. She basically-” You announce, but Jaebum turns around and walk past you without much of an interest, and it startles you.

Before your brain tells you to stop, you grab his arm. He looks at you with eyes you can’t decipher but doesn’t speak.

“...are you okay?” You try. Maybe it’s not the best moment to brag about yourself. Maybe he doesn’t need you to tell him how great you’re feeling.

“I’m fine, why?” Jaebum talks like he has the most peaceful life, like you’re crazy for asking such a question.

Something inside you twitch, but you decide not to let it get you.

“You seem...off...I was about to tell you something imp-”

“I’m not interested.” He brushes you off but you don’t let his arm go.

Something is definitely wrong with him.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” Your voice change instantly when you understand that he is about to shut you out.

Jaebum is not having it, and simply shakes his head, eyebrows up to emphasize his surprised face.

“I’m okay. Can you let me go?” He looks at your arm with cold eyes and panic takes you over in a matter of seconds.

You know enough to understand the situation. What is happening, why? Jaebum seemed fine this morning, and from what he told you before going, he was supposed to work all day.

Maybe his song wasn’t good enough for the famous singer? Maybe he is feeling depressed because of that?

“Jaebum, I swear. Just- I can listen.” You feel pathetic, and when Jaebum pulls on his arm to free himself, you see how annoyed he is.

“Look, I’m getting tired of you butting in my business. I don’t care about this perfume, honestly. If you don’t know how not to cross the line between roommates and friends, I guess I’ll have to remind you.” He speaks fast, and you try hard to find a hint of remorse, but there is nothing, except his clenched jaw and undecipherable eyes.

You want to get mad at him for talking to you this way, but it is true. No matter how much you can’t understand what’s happening to him, it’s true that you’re nothing but roommates. You thought your little confession would make him feel kind of appreciated, but it actually worked the other way around.

He resents you. He feels used, he doesn’t want to have anything to do with your goddamn business.

Your heart feels heavy suddenly, like a vice tightening around it and hurting your ribcage. You breathe heavily once, twice, trice. You can’t cry. Jaebum would never say that, there must be a reason.

“Just tell me you don’t want to talk about it. I’ll understand. We can talk about it when you feel better-“

“No!” Jaebum’s tone makes you jump and you take a step back, startled.

What’s wrong with this guy?

“We won’t talk about anything. You can’t leave me the fuck alone, right? What do I need to do for you to stop clinging on me? You’re so fucking lame. I’m doing just fine so drop it. You mean nothing and will never mean anything. Don’t start thinking we will play romance because I let you hold me one night.” Jaebum avoids your eyes at all cost, but you’re too shocked to notice it. His words hurt more than you thought they would, because you thought you two had something special.

Maybe you were wrong.

“I get it. I’m sorry.” You conclude, not being able to block a sob from ripping your throat and you go back into the kitchen. You hope he doesn’t see the tears falling on your cheeks.

He doesn’t deserve your misery.

Jaebum sighs when you disappear, his eyes closing painfully and it’s the worse dilemma for him. He wants to apologize, to explain he can’t let you in, but he knows you’ll have none of it.

You’re ready to accept him as he is and it’s scaring him.

He tries to occupy himself, forgetting about the food in the kitchen but he can hear you, he can hear you softly sniff into the flat, walking around, muffling sobs and breathing heavily.

It hurts him so much; he hates himself for putting you in this state but he has no choice. He can’t be good enough for you in this state. He needs to be stronger so he can take care of you the same way you took care of him.

This means he can’t be with you.

It’s the only way he found to make you stop caring about him. You told him things no one ever did and after last night, he found himself thinking about you every second of the day. He couldn’t even stand the way Jackson held you this morning. He is too in love for his liking, too into you. You deserve nothing but joy and he has none in him.

He made it, he wrote a good song, but he has too many issues to take care of. But you’re crying. You are sad and it’s because of him. He can’t stand this.

It’s his brain who tells him to open the door and find you. He doesn’t want to do so, but he rushes to the living-room, finding nothing. He goes to the kitchen, empty.

Jaebum finds you when he opens your room’s door softly. You’re looking at the window, and he understand you’re crying when he sees your shoulders shake.

“Are you crying?” It’s a stupid question, but what else can he say?

You turn around and he sees your surprised eyes and brows furrowed.

You sniff loudly. “Are you kidding me? You did enough, stop talking to me.”

“Look, I’m-” He takes a step toward you but you raise an arm and he freezes, like you’re holding a gun and waiting to shoot him.

“I can’t believe it. So this is what you’ve been thinking all this time? You should have told me if you were thinking so low of me.” You rub your nose and no matter how dramatic the situation is, Jaebum finds it awfully cute “I’m not going to care about you anymore. I thought you were just having a bad day, but you actually don’t give a shit about me at all.”

“It’s not about that.” He looks at the floor when he can’t bear looking at your red eyes anymore.

“Then what is it about? No, don’t answer. I don’t want to know. I was so happy today, I had such a great day and you had to ruin it. All I want is for you to be happy, but I’m so stupid, I thought I could be of any importance to someone.” You snort and move your arms in the air, mocking your own self.

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

You laugh and it’s everything but funny. “Oh, typical. It’s not me, it’s you? Yeah it’s you, you’re stupid and probably just doing this to boost your ego. So what, you don’t need me anymore? Are you going to escape again now that I was here to listen to your bullshit?”

It’s mean, you’re being mean, but Jaebum deserves the same medicine.

“Oh no. You’re going to back to mom and dad and apologise to get some cash? You did a great song and you don’t need me anymore? Because guess what, my perfume is great and I don’t need you anymore either.”

Jaebum stiffs when you say that. “Stop.” He knows you’re paying back all the things he said, but he doesn’t want to hear this. He’d rather receive a hard slap across the face.

He takes a step toward you, but you’re to enraged you don’t even notice it “Oh, I’m hurting your feelings? Want me to take you to the nearest bridge? Tell me, how should I help?”

“Calm down.” He takes another step but you shake your head, eyes closed.

“You just- I can’t believe- damn Jaebum, what I said last night is not nothing. When I said you were important to me, I really meant it. And then what? I realize that I’m in love with you and you? YOU? You’re such a jerk.”

He stops right in front of your body and looks down at your ruined face, “I know. I know.” He doesn’t insist and reach for your trembling body with steady hands, collecting you and bringing you closer.

His smell works like a spell on you and you stop moving. “Get away from me.” You talk but don’t make any movement to make him go away.

“I’m sorry.” He doesn’t say it for the same reasons you think he does, but you don’t have time to question him because he grabs your face and kisses you before you can send him away.

His grip is tight but his lips are shaking, and you don’t answer to the kiss until he pulls you against him to prove his point. You don’t want to give in because he went too far. He can’t push you away and claim you the way he pleases. No matter how strong his hold around you is.

His heart burst out of his chest when you answer him. Your lips are soft and moist with tears, but they feel so safe and warm. Jaebum presses you so hard against him you can barely breathe but none of you mind.

His fingers find your hair and rub your scalp with soft gestures. You feel too soft for him to detach himself, and he knows he is making the biggest mistake he ever did, but he cannot stop when he knows you’ll be mad at him.

No matter the outcome, you will hate him anyways.

His other hand sticks your stomachs together like glue and your angry body is burning against his own, like a flame consuming his tingling skin. He detaches his mouth from yours to whisper soft words against your face, and you almost cry again when you hear them, before jumping on him to kiss him again.

I’m sorry, I love you

You kiss him until your mouth dries and hurts, when Jaebum decides he had enough of pushing you away and makes you lean on top of him, on your bed.

The rest is a discovery. You get to see sides of Jaebum you thought he wouldn’t have. He keeps a lazy pace, with hushed moans and burning desire. He takes all the time he needs to immerse into your skin, to enter every pore and it’s sweet, it’s sugary and loving.

It’s above everything you expected.

He breathes into your ears and can’t stop confessing, his hands leaving his sweet smell over your sweaty skin, wrapping you up into the softest feeling you ever came across. Your brain stops functioning at some point, and Jaebum seems lost into you. He looks at you like he will never see you again but you don’t pay attention to it, you grab his face again and again, giving him everything you have.

Jaebum doesn’t let you escape, and it’s not like you want to. He keeps himself around you, hands possessive and lips brushing the edge of your shoulder when you turn around. His fingers leave a heat behind them, making you shiver and making him chuckle.

You don’t talk again. Words are too tiring and useless when you feel him against you. His smell is so overwhelming it blocks everything around you.

And you fall asleep into the late night, when the sun is still resting and your body is spent.

But you wake up and it’s cold again.

You don’t see Jaebum in the flat, and ignore your phone ringing when you see his room empty. His belongings are gone.

Jaebum isn’t going to come back.

---

287 notes · View notes

nayeon-sadly-owns-me · 7 years

Text

Mini-series post

For those who are returning to my mini-series Analogy/Review/Recap(?) of Gold Dust, thanks for reading! For those who haven’t read my Part One post about Gold Dust, I highly advised you do because you probably just end up lost and confused.

The same promises I made in the first post carry on to this one. I split Chapter 2 into two posts because its too lengthy to talk about in one shot. As usual this is a warning that I write A LOT. Enjoy~

Part Two-

First half of chapter 2

Spoilers beyond this point

Miscommunication is often an incredible frustrating trope used by writers to create drama. On the surface, Nayeon expresses self-hatred because she has led herself to believe that Momo needs normal and that means she needs her as a friend. Her past habits (being a manipulative soul eater basically) have led her to a place where she feels like anything she does is impure and undeserving of Momo. Meanwhile, Momo’s feelings have broken the surface of being romantic, only wanting to be friends with Nayeon because she truly believes that Nayeon doesn’t like her like that. With her inferiority complex, she can’t see herself deserving of Nayeon.

You might think to yourself, how can Momo think of herself as undeserving when she is an angel sent from above and Nayeon has already labeled herself as Satan. Well, remember that Momo has lived her life alone with neglectful parents who out right abandoned her when she was around the age of 11 (Maybe 12). When you’re forced to live such a lonely life, anybody who makes an effort to change that (Nayeon) becomes a precious person. Momo has seen her at her worst, but because she has convinced herself that she can’t be greedy with Nayeon, choses to look past those flaws and see the good in her. So, when Nayeon has her freak outs, Momo can only blame herself because she can’t contemplate that it just might be Nayeon being irrational and it will pass.

With as much internal trauma that these two have generated for themselves, the concept of drama coming from miscommunication can no longer be applied. Instead it becomes a journey of when they will finally come to a place where they start to understand the depths of each other’s issues and how they can finally talk about it. I wouldn’t expect this for a while though.

Trauma is hard to talk about much less unspoken trauma that has had years to fester and stick. It’s why I never felt a usual ping of annoyance over watching the cycle (that I mentioned last part) repeat itself because we could gain something new from each scene and watch the characters grow. These characters might never come to a complete understanding but to a place of acceptance, and that’s what makes it worth wild to watch them go from start to finish.

With all that said, we open up with Nayeon engaging in one of her older habits, drinking away any leftover taste of Momo. We get to witness another turning point, where her relationship with Momo (loosely term based) has now overridden her previous destructive habits. Despite the fact that Wine is known for its lingering taste, Nayeon’s brain has convinced itself that it can’t drown out the taste of Spearmint. Think of it as- Nayeon is trying to drink herself to forget, but the thought of Momo makes it impossible to do.

She has to come to terms with the fact that Momo isn’t a presence that will go away with time. If anything, it only gets stronger as time progresses. The 10 or so years she spent trying to destroy herself enough so no one else can is now slowly being minded. When you’ve dealt with severe self-hatred for that long, any idea of change can be alarming at best. Change that a person didn’t ask for can be even worse.

So Nayeon has to decide a new strategy to battle against Momo because now she is starting to remember what it’s like to feel and not just live to cause destruction.

She thinks of it as her being caught in a trap, unable to break free so she goes for her last-ditch addiction. Except Momo has already beaten her to it. Gum has become a personified version of what Nayeon has come to identify as the Momo addiction. Momo replacing the cigarette with a piece of gum is a representation of how Momo wants her to pick up a new habit to replace smoking.

Instead of smoking a cigarette that could be anywhere, she gives into her impulse and chews the gum instead. Because if Momo is in the equation, Nayeon will always choose her over anything else.

The next scene starts with Nayeon determined to stop things between them. It doesn’t last long because she sees Momo waiting with the recovered book in hand and a cute injured face. It reminds her how much she does care.

Momo begins to hint at her feelings, claiming that she can’t forget the fact that they have fucked each other in 2 separate locations. This leads to Nayeon realizing that Momo had never done anything like that before.

The panic that Nayeon expresses goes back to the games she played with Jihyo and Jeongyeon when sex was just a tool. With Momo it wasn’t. It’s a feeling that she took advantage of her like she did with the others. She views Momo as too pure and now she feels like she has tainted her because she doesn’t feel good enough to be her first.

Even when Momo is trying to express the fact that she liked it but will go back to the way things were before, Nayeon won’t have it because it simply goes against what she believes is the truth. When Momo leaves, all she has left is her habit of smoking and an empty feeling.

Seungyeon plays a much more outgoing role this chapter than her quiet role in the first one. She has Nayeon explaining that she spent years wishing she was dead only to get over it 2 years ago by fucking up other people’s lives. Seungyeon brings up that previously, Nayeon was at 98% of the ‘I-want-to-die’ scale, back when things were bumpy but not as rough as now with Momo. It gives insight that since Momo has entered her life, her will to live has increased even if only slightly.

The painting of the mother-child that Nayeon hates is a good symbol for the hatred she has for her own mother. There is not enough context about the sunrise/sunfall painting to clarify if it means anything other than it meaning another day is coming/ending. It might remind her of a tomorrow, one that she doesn’t deserve.

“Because destroying something that makes you uncomfortable is so much easier than giving yourself a chance to like it, right?” is a good analogy given that it perfectly describes her reaction towards Momo. Although only the audience can really comprehend that.

Nayeon not wanting to be at 100% can testify that there is something that’s keeping her here. Whether it is Momo or her dad, we can only assume.

They say that when you’re intoxicated you say and do things that you actually want to do. Nayeon seeking out Momo is exactly what sober Nayeon would do if she didn’t have her self-created mess to consider. In the meantime, we have Momo dealing with the fact that she is overloading over feeling like it was her fault the team lost and her fault that Nayeon doesn’t want her back because now the idea that Momo likes Nayeon has reached the surface.

Intoxicated Nayeon breaks her out of her head and Momo is left to take her back home. Her dedication to Nayeon can know no bounds because she has chosen Nayeon as her person. Momo is good about blocking out Nayeon, it’s only when Nayeon returns that she breaks because that’s her person, she just can’t leave her. Momo will come to her aid no matter if it is temporary or permanent.

We get our first meeting between the maid and Momo. Their interactions are detailed as Momo being no one important, hoping to be someone important, and then finally introducing herself as Momo. This form of repetition is used to show how their relationship changes from indecisive to intimate.

Despite all that Nayeon has done, Momo still values her wishes (although false ones) higher than her own by requesting that she be properly looked after before walking away again.

Although Momo has never talked about Momo extensively outside her conversations with her dad and Sana/Jisoo/Jennie, she still breaks Im Nayeon character by allowing her maid to talk about her. We get mentions of her violent nature as the standard, but she remains calm and composed as she listens to her maid talk about how much Momo cares about her. When Nayeon is thinking rationally, Momo is definitely her source of calmness.

Instead of snark, Nayeon responds with insecurity that we have only seen her show in front of her dad (and to a small degrees, Momo). This leads to Nayeon coming to the realization that the more they are apart, the more they become unstable. It’s a relationship that screams out toxic and yet they’re better when they are with each other. The creation of such a complex relationship like this is really hard to do. In order to come up with a solution that will abide by her previous misdoings and her need to stop the pain from being away from Momo, she decides that friendship is what they both need.

By just being a friend, she has herself believing that she isn’t treating Momo like the girls in her past. That she is doing what Momo wants because she can’t fathom why Momo would want anything else with her. I say that she decides this, because Momo would go with whatever she thinks is right. Because expressing her feelings makes her feel like she’s asking for too much especially from Nayeon.

Momo had made an off-hand comment about how reading makes her sleepy. So, strategically, Momo making the library her new spot could make perfect sense because it would be the last place Nayeon would look. Except, I think that Momo chose the library because it reminds her of the safe feeling she had while reading the crime mystery novels with Nayeon. It’s because of the days spent reading that she came to see a brighter side of Nayeon, so she can’t easily throw that away. Think of it as Momo trying to appease the side of her that wants to be with Nayeon. Like how she walked Nayeon home even though it ends with Momo asking if Nayeon wants to her to forget they ever met (Nayeon agreeing and Momo walking away).

We get to see Momo make it crystal clear that Nayeon can’t keep saying that she doesn’t want to be around her but then come back a few days later. It goes back to Momo requesting Nayeon show her something real. She wants Nayeon to use her words and mean them. On the other hand, Nayeon has spent the last 10 years learning how to lie in order to keep people away from her. It marks the first time that Momo begs her to say what she really wants, and Nayeon not doing it out of being self-conditioned to say otherwise.

Instead she tries again at Momo’s house because her need to be with Momo has now exceeded any need to be the self-proclaiming loner bitch that she use to be.

She finds Momo in her brooding position (arms wrapped around knees- Also real life’s Nayeons iconic picture taking pose but that’s irrelevant here). It’s the first time that Nayeon gets to see the result of her actions. Nayeon made herself believe that Momo was more put together just because she had never seen her crumble before. A reaction bad enough that Momo had missed group session previously.

We see Nayeon finally come to terms with the fact that she can’t say things she doesn’t mean. When she is indecisive with her words or says things she doesn’t mean- it’s like a reminder of the games she used to play on people in the past.

We get our glimpse at Momo’s fragile state from how desperate she is for normality. You can also say that Nayeon misinterprets it for wanting normality in their relationship when Momo means it in general. Thinking that she needs someone close when in reality Momo could mean having the ability to make friendships/acquaintances and watch them end (or leave) naturally without experiencing extreme bouts of self-loathing.

If there is any evidence that Nayeon just wants to be friends, it certainly doesn’t show in the fact that she thinks about when they had sex. A lot. (But of course, she’s trying to be a better person in her own way.)

Normality leads them to a coffee shop where they try to act like they’re completely normal people. Except they aren’t.

This was one of those times that I had to silently cheer for Momo because she’s getting more comfortable asking questions without fearing that Nayeon will walk straight out the door. It’s also a testimony to how serious Nayeon is about this when she instantly declines the idea of going back to how things were before the whole ‘we kinda fucked and liked it oops?’.

It is also easy to understand how Nayeon can get so wrapped up on the ‘just friends’ thing when she is gaging Momo’s reaction to her claiming there wouldn’t be baggage and messing around. Seeing as Momo agrees, specifically saying that “This is what I want” creates a moral compass for Nayeon to make sure that she gets what she wants.

Reading becomes their common ground for spending time with each other without having to worry about overstepping boundaries. It’s only natural that now Nayeon has to get the best mystery book she can find for Momo and pretend that she has no idea what its about so she can see her get excited. Why stop with books when she can also get her the best new pair of boots she can find because believe it or not footwear is very important when it comes to soccer. (Believe me ive played in worn out cleats, that shit can destroy your feet.) (Also its totally because she wants to make Momo happy anyway she can now.)

Their relationship is awkward at best, but if this ‘friendship’ was portrayed as smooth sailing I would call bs. Ultimately, Stormy made good writing decisions when it came to showing that they can be friends while also reminding the readers that honestly their feelings for each other are founded on a need to be around each other and finding a way to be good enough to be with said person. The pacing is also just right. It’s not fast enough that it feels like important details are being left out, mentioning’s of their relationship not being in the ‘correct’ order as a ‘normal’ relationship.

It is also not slow enough that you start to feel frustrated that they aren’t together yet. Because from the start of this chapter there has always been a romantic tension of “When will they…”. For a 2 chapter fic, with the first kiss happening at the end of the first chapter, it feels surprisingly like a slow burn relationship but without the dreadfully slow pacing and the multichapters of them brooding over not being together.

Because Momo is not use to people doing good deeds for her, she has a hard time swallowing the fact that Nayeon is willing to pay for such an expensive item that she, herself, won’t actually be using. We get a taste of what Momo is like when she has shut down mentally when not even Nayeon can reach her until they are alone.

While reading this, I began to think that Momo was going to actively decide to protest against the top of the line shoes (maybe go for lower quality, thinking as Momo- I would think that I deserved those more) but was pleasantly surprised by the rush of emotion that Momo shows her. It felt very natural in how awkward it initially feels but how genuine a moment it grows to become. Nayeon may blow it off as no big deal, but it is a very big deal to Momo. She might not understand it then, but she will eventually.

We get our first Jeongyeon appearance of the chapter. In my last part, I initially discussed how I wasn’t sure of her stance in what her motives were. True to my word, I gotta update it because I’ve settled for the fact that Jeongyeon doesn’t have any malicious plans If anything, it’s because of how rightfully cautious she is of Nayeon. Jeongyeon brings up an incident that happened before Nayeon came into the picture, an incident that made Jeongyeon care about her much later on but ill mention it now.

I don’t know what that incident was but we can guess that because Momo’s therapist is Jeongyeons sister- that Jeongyeon is responsible for her going to therapy (much like Nayeon indirectly brings up the fact that Jeongyeon probably brought up her issues to JYP to use to get her into therapy too). Meaning, the incident happened two years ago. Or Jeongyeon only just convinced her to go to therapy two years ago. Honestly we just don’t know enough for a concrete theory, just a suspicion.

Either way we see how cautious she is talking to Momo because she has seen her at her lowest and doesn’t want to see her that way again. Because of how much of a broken state Nayeon got her in, it’s only human that she believes that Nayeon is trying to do the same thing to Momo. She doesn’t know the amount of time they’ve spent together or the long monologues they’ve dedicated to each other in their thoughts. Dramatic irony is a bitch.

Then again, Nayeon doesn’t know about the situation that Jeongyeon has been in, or that it’s a thing at all. Both sides are kept in the dark when it comes to how much the other thinks the other knows about Momo.

Something that peaked my interest about the whole ‘being nice is weird’ scene for Nayeon is that she assumes Momo is being cautious because of her potentially fucking up. She doesn’t take into account that maybe Momo is being cautious because she’s worried that Nayeon might come to her senses and leave. After all, she still isn’t in a state of mind that believes she’s worthy of having people be kind to her so she keeps her guard up.

For all that they have learned about each other, they are still stuck on the ‘me’ factor of their issues. Progress is progress though, as Seungyeon would say. They can now be more like themselves without worrying that the other will misinterpreted it.

Nayeon is now moving towards treating Momo the opposite of how she treated Jihyo and Jeongyeon. She wants to avoid fucking up her head and keep her from overthinking things until she is running herself ragged from self-loathing. Of course she still has a ways to go before she has shed that skin of hers because she still gives Momo a fight for wanting to run even after practicing for 2 hours. Saving the last bit of snark for when Momo can’t hear her because Nayeon is too aware of how much she doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.

It shows that Momo can’t mentally handle confrontation when she jumps to the conclusion that there would be no way Nayeon would wait for her after snapping at her. Its gut-wrenching to know how relieved and surprised she is despite the fact that Nayeon took her stuff.

(For any Fool’s Gold readers- ‘Forgetting something?’ is a callback)

If there is one thing Stormy doesn’t want us to forget, it’s that Momo is Nayeon’s relief when her emotions threaten to topple the surface. Her relationship with her mother is put as a comparison to a loving mother taking care of her child after he slips in the rain. It something that she didn’t have, a kind, caring mother. Instead of relying on an unhealthy habit, she picks up her order and cookie and goes to Momo.

It’s also noticeable that Nayeon waits for a good opportunity to reveal the cookie because she is purposefully trying to catch Momo off-guard in the best way as much as she can now.

As a reader, it’s a good suggestion that they come up with healthy ways to get them back on the healthy, non-destructive mindset. Although they never disclose what Nayeon’s solution would be, we know that the solution is her going to Momo because she never wants her to see her using bad coping mechanisms again.

Because Momo had to carry Nayeon into both her, and Nayeons house, she never got to be properly invited in. It’s hidden symbolism for the fact that Nayeon never invited her into her life. She just showed up and became a crutch for her.

When Momo is asking if she wants to come in, it feels like it’s a request for Nayeon to get closer to her.

Momo’s house is disorganized without any sense of being a family home. Nayeon acknowledges that her house shares a similar lonely feeling except her house is spotless and clean, like nobody has properly lived there yet. A key difference is that Momo has drawings and markers all over the place, showing the kid side in her in contrast to Nayeon’s museum like mansion.

The roof scene is held as one of my top 5 memorable scenes of the chapter, it lets us see the serious damage that Momo’s past has caused her. Although it’s never specifically said, Momo hints about her contemplations of suicide because a journey in the stars sounds more inviting than living in a world where her parents are no where to be found. Nayeon actively tries to swat down those thoughts. In her current state, I don’t think she can mentally handle the idea of Momo no longer being around. If I were to guess, I would say that the importance of Momo being in her life is now approaching the importance of her dad still being around.

If theres anything to say about Nayeon’s possessive feelings about Momo, it’s that she doesn’t want to watch anyone get close to Momo who might be a threat. I think at this point, anyone who isn’t her is a threat. She’s become hypersensitive to what being a user means and has become protective that Momo will never experience that. It’s also a good excuse to cover up the fact that she has a jealous streak.

Stormy gives a nice little throwback to Nayeon’s first time getting Dahyun to reveal Momo’s hiding spot with a date with Sana. Good on you Stormy. Of course Sana is delighted, I can’t help but hope we see this relationship get more fleshed out because of how frequently it gets brought up. Does Sana sleep around to make up for the fact that she can’t get Dahyun the way she wants? Does she even fancy Dahyun at all or is it just a game? We already know Dahyun has a thing for her so this subplot has substance.

Whether it was because of Momo’s comment about not paying attention because she was waiting for Nayeon, or the fact she was in a good mood- she decides that if Momo thinks she needs to run then she should do it too. It again plays into the factor that Nayeon is actively trying to make Momo feel good like happy good, the way she deserves. It’s hard to recall just how terrible of a person she was before she became serious about Momo.

She hasn’t changed, she has just now started to let the other side of her show. While that doesn’t excuse the wrongs that she has done, it doesn’t mark out the good that is still buried deep inside her.

The last scene focused on in this part revolves around the same location that was used in the last chapter. Last chapter, the hill overlooking the city became a place where Nayeon allowed herself to feel, even if it was only for a few minutes with the help of Momo. Instead of it becoming a place of fond memories, it’s now a spot that requires Nayeon to try to not act weird about the fact that Momo fucked her at that same location.

It’s also an intriguing detail thrown in that Momo really can recall every part of that experience as she mentions wanting to pet the golden retriever they saw while doing it. It really does contrast with how down Momo can get because of small moments.

If you thought this part was worth your time (I doubt it) just wait for next part~~

#namo #gold dust #I write a lot and im so so sorry

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crayolanoms · 6 years

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Yandere!Dark: A Sad and Bloody End (pt. 1)

I watch Dark torturing Pewds, dying inside more and more as he showed what he had become: A raving lunatic not afraid of the law and kills anyone he deemed in his way.

What happened to the sweet, handsome demon I knew? He used to blush in the cutest way when I looked at him and sometimes make me lunch. I miss him.

Dark had finished cutting up Pewds’s arms and had moved on to his chest, rubbing the flat side of the blade over it, seeming to savor the worry on Pewds’s face. He lifted pewds’s tongue with the point, taping it to pewds’s neck.

“Cant have that get in the way. We don’t want it turning out like you,” he smirks, poking the tongue with the knife. Pewds flinches, Dark stabbing his shoulder in response.

“You’re a manly lamby. Act like one.”

Pewds nods and Dark goes back rubbing his chest with the knife.

“You act so NICE, lamby. HA! It’s just a ruse to steal away my beautiful, lovely, gorgeous SENPAI!” he screams, stabbing pewds in the chest. Pewds gasps as Dark yanks the dagger out.

“Lamby was a fool to think that he could get away with it.”

He stabs Pewds again, Pewds wincing.

“NOW LAMBY PAYS THE PRICE!” he screams, slicing open Pewds’s chest and stomach area in one cut, some of his organs showing through.

“YOU’RE A MONSTER!” I scream, tears running down my face as I look away from Pewds, feeling sick to my stomach. Dark stood completely still, his back facing me.

“What did you call me………….?”

“A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a m-m-m-m-monster………,” I whisper, the color draining from my face. He turns his head towards me, his profile now visible. Somehow, this was more terrifying.

“Do you really……………MEAN that…………?” He asks, a threat poorly veiled by the words he spoke and the tone he used.

“Y-y-you’re n-not the m-m-man y-y-y-you u-u-used to b-b-b-be!”

He doesn’t move, his visible pupil staring into me.

“No, I’m better,” he says, using his magic to hold a knife close to me.

“I USED TO LOVE YOU!”

He keeps glaring at me, the glow growing brighter.

“What do you mean ‘used to’?”

“I-I-I th-th-thought you w-w-were a-adorable when y-you blushed. Y-y-you w-were s-s-so k-kind…………………”

I look away from him, staring at the Sam in my lap.

“I wanna go home,” I whisper, looking back up. The knife presses itself against my neck to the point I start bleeding.

“You can never leave! You can never go home! I will show you that you love me! I WILL MAKE YOU LOVE ME AGAIN!” he screams, making the knife cut a huge gash across my left eye. I cry green septic tears, Dark turning his head back towards pewds.

“Save your crocodile green tears for someone who cares, as they don’t move me.”

He walks closer to Pewds, his laugh echoing through the room.

“Stay with me, lamby. We’re not done yet,” he says, cutting from his lip corners to the middle of his cheeks.

“You need to smile more!” he laughs maniacally, Pewds panting for breath, his extra mouth fighting to free his tongue. Dark licks up the blood, seeming to enjoy every droplet.

“P-p-p-p-please…………………………………………s-s-s-s-s-stop……………………………………,” Pewds quietly begged, his eyes glowing a dull blue inside his black corneas. Dark loudly laughs, moving his head next to Pewds ear.

“There’s no mercy for the lamb who defies the shepherd.”

While he’s facing Pewds I manage to free my arms, untying my legs after. I pick up sam and quickly hide behind one of the tables, looking for the door.

“You’re such a naughty lamby. Maybe you shouldn’t have kids.”

I hear Pewds scream as I spot the door, taking the opportunity to open it as Dark laughs evilly. I softly close the door and find myself in a warehouse.

“Stay close, Sam,” I say, finding my hoodie and putting it back on, slipping Sam into the hoodie space.

I sneak around the huge space, finding very few boxes inside the huge building. I could hear Pewds screams mixed with Darks laughing and I shiver.

Why did it have to be this way? He was such an amazing guy. We could have settled down and adopted kids! Had stable jobs……………………………loved each other.

I hear a door slam and quickly hide behind a box.

“I KNOW YOU’RE OUT HERE, SENPAI! THERE’S NO USE HIDING FROM ME!”

I sneak around towards a door across the room, darting from box to box, slowly getting closer to the door.

“SENPAI, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“Keep quiet, Sam,” I whisper, slowly opening the door and closing it.

“COME BACK, SENPAI AND I’LL ONLY HURT YOU A LITTLE!” he yells, firing a gun at random boxes, I assumed. I find a telephone and pick it up, exstatic to hear the dial tone. I quickly call my cop friend, Burnt Toast Ken.

C’mon Ken, pick up! If ever I needed you it was right now!

“Hello?” a voice says, clearly having just woken up.

"Ken?!” I whisper yell, holding the phone tightly as more shots ring out.

“Anti? What are you doing up at this hour? And watching a ………………..war movie, I guess?”

“Look, Ken, I’ll explain better later, but right now I have a pshyco trying to find me and hurt me extremely bad. I need you to trace this call right now!”

I hear a bunch of shuffling as the gunshots get closer to the room.

“I’m tracing it now. Describe the situation to me.”

“I’m in a big warehouse, I don’t know where. There’s at least two rooms branching off the main storage area. Dark Pewds is in one most likely bleeding to death and I’m in the other one that I know of. Dark has gone fucking insane! He’s massacared half the town at least and has hurt both me and Pewds mentally and physically”

“I’ve almost got it. I just need a couple more mintues.”

The gunshots were louder now, growing closer with each second.

“Please hurry! He’s getting closer!” I whisper, straining to hear anything other than the gunfire.

“I got it! Just hold tight, buddy. We’re coming.” He says, hanging up. I quickly and quietly hang up, standing on the side of the door where the door would block me from view if he opened it.

Please hurry, Ken. I want to live!

The door creaks open and I hold my breath, Dark’s silhouette on the opposite wall.

“Kiiiiittttteeeeeennnn~ Are you in hhhheeeeerrrrrrreeeee~?”

He walks further in and I start breathing in shallow, quick breaths, quickly running out of the room.

“Stop running away, Senpai! I only want to play!”

“We don’t want to play any of his games, do we Sam?”

I duck behind some boxes, heading back towards the torture room, remembering syringes sitting on one of the tables I passed.

“You wouldn��t want to end up like the other lamby, would you?”

I make my way faster.

I’m sorry, Dark Pewds, for ever getting you involved with this. You don’t deserve anything like what he’s done.

I make it back, quickly shutting the door behind me. The room is mostly dark, the only light coming from pewds’s dimly glowing eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Pewds,” I whisper, grabbing the biggest syringe I could find and searching through the liquids. I grab one that says Propofol with “Sleepy time medicine” written underneath.

Dark sure got weird when he lost it.

I fill the syringe and wait at the door, listening for him to come in.

“STOP HIDING, KITTEN! THIS GAME ISN’T FUN ANYMORE!”

“I’M IN HERE!” I yell, the syringe at the ready. He walks in and I jump on his back, stabbing the syringe in his neck and pushing the plunger all the way down.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he screamed, throwing me onto a table full of knives. I sit up and pull out the few that stuck in me, watching Dark.

“How could you do this to me, Senpai?! I was only showing how much I LOVE YOU!” he ends screaming, trying to run at me before he passes out. I grab a knife and stand ready, watching him fall to the ground and start passing out.

“Why…………?” he asks, just before passing out completely. I sigh in relief, turning my attention to Dark Pewds. His eyes were barely glowing and his breathing was shallow at best, sometimes long pauses broke up the shallowness as both his tongues hung limply out of his mouths. I run over and quickly get him down, lying him on the floor with his head in my lap.

“A-a-a-a-anti…………? I-i-i-i-i-i-is th-th-th-that y-y-y-you?”

“It’s me, Pewds. Dark’s passed out and the police are coming. It’s over.”

“I-i-I d-don’t th-th-think i-i-i-im g-g-going t-t-to m-make i-it.”

“Don’t think like that, Pewds! Of course you’ll make it! The paramedics are on their way!”

His breathing grew shallower, his eyes barely aglow at all.

“i-i-i-i-i-im s-s-sorry, A-a-a-anti…………………………b-b-b-b-but i-i-i-its t-t-t-too l-l-l-late…………………”

“Pewds, no…………,” I say, septic tears welling up.

“T-t-t-tell m-my d-d-d-d-dad…………………………i-i-i-i-I l-l-l-love h-h-h-h-him……………”

I hold him in my arms as his eyes grow dim and his breathing stops.

“Pewds…………? Pewds?!” I say, shaking his body, nothing happening. I start crying hard, holding Pewds’s body close, hearing sirens growing closer by the second, knowing they were too late to save my protector.

You did so much you didn’t have to for me. You’ve saved me from Dark twice now, losing your life in the process. I could have never repaid you if you had lived. And now, I can never repay you till I die.

I hear a groan and look over at Dark, who was just starting to wake up. I back away until Burnt Toast Ken busts in with two guys behind him who ran to Dark with a straight jacket.

“What happened here?!” Ken exclaimed, looking at his dead son’s body.

“He tried to protect me…….....…………”

Ken removed his hat, tears streaming down his face.

“He followed in my footsteps and died a hero……………,” he said, picking up the body and walking out with it. The two who had brought the straight jacket were leading Dark out, Dark fighting against them.

“YOU CAN’T KEEP ME FROM MY SENPAI! I LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES ME! I’M NOT CRAZY! LET ME GO!”

I walk out, following them to where all the vehicles are. Someone wraps a blanket around my shoulders and hands me hot chocolate, but other than that, I’m left alone. I watch as they shove Dark into a padded van, Dark seeming to have calmed down.

“I love you, Anti,” he says, staring straight at me until the two men close the doors.

I love you too, Dark……………

I watch as the van pulls away. Slowly each vehicle leaves until it’s just me and BT Ken left.

“Do you want a ride home, Anti?”

(LOOK FOR PART TWO!)

#yanderedarkiplier #yanderedark #senpaianti #antisepticeye #anti #darkiepie #darkpewds #darkpewdiepie #dark #darkiplier #death #torture #psycho #burnt toast ken

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