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gurugirl · 3 months

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an adorable bad boy | loveable!rogue!harry

This is part 1 of a Patreon AU (4 parts have been posted on Patreon already). If you'd like more check out my Patreon! xoxo

A loveable rogue is someone who breaks the law for personal profit while being nice and charming, likely with a sad or dark past.

AU Premise: Harry has been in and out of jail for nearly a decade due to a string of bad luck and bad choices. But he's not a bad guy. Not really.

Summary: Harry's trying to keep on the straight and narrow now that he's out of jail but things have never come easy for him. And then he meets the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. Maybe things won't be so bad after all. If only she'd give him her number.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warning: Mentions of drugs and the sale of drugs, mentions of jail time

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Harry’s life sucked. Every time he tried to get on the right track, his past would come back to haunt him. He took responsibility for the things he did and he knew he deserved to have the book thrown at him. But he also knew where he came from didn’t make things easier for him. Starting at a young age he had to act like an adult and do things most people would never imagine needing to do just to get by.

Now, nearing 30, he was determined to get his shit together. If he had to step foot in another jail cell again he was going to just end it. He couldn’t handle another sentence that had him losing a job, his car, the place he was staying… Every time he got into trouble it was like he had to start over again. From scratch.

And he was always well-behaved once behind bars so he usually got out early on good behavior. But keeping out of trouble as a free man was nearly impossible. He’d be tossed out on the street once he was released but with no place to go and not a dime to his name, times were hard. He had to hustle for a dollar. And when he meant hustle, it usually involved something illegal.

Getting a job that paid well was a joke. No one wanted a convicted felon. No one would hire a man who had a criminal record. Why risk it? He sure as hell wouldn’t if he were in their shoes.

There was no program to help him reintegrate. No help for a safe spot to sleep. Shelters wouldn’t even allow him a safe haven due to his past. He had nothing. Incarceration meant drudging through, keeping his head down, and following directions. That was easy. But there was nothing easy about rebuilding his life over and over again once he was out from behind bars.

His sister wouldn’t answer his calls anymore. He’d drained that well dry. His mother had cut him off too. His cousin was a last resort, but that’s sort of how his life was these days. Everything was a last resort.

“Harry! My dude! You get out?”

He was leaning against a tall residential building in an alley with a cigarette in hand. The phone he was using was the one that he had when he got locked up, kept for him upon his release. The officer helping him fill out his release forms allowed him to charge his phone before they pushed him out the doors. How kind.

The wifi signal from the bookstore gave him access to his apps so he could make the phone call he was dreading.

“Yep. Glad to be out of there. How are you doing?” He figured he’d make some small talk before getting to the point. He didn’t want to be rude, after all.

Saul gave him the rundown of what had been going on with everyone. And then Harry learned he was engaged.

“Wow. Congrats, cousin. Proud of you. You guys living together?”

“Nah. Not until after the wedding. She’s a really good girl. Super sweet. Her whole family is. Just like, the nicest people I’ve ever met. But she doesn’t want to move in until we’re married since that looks bad to her parents,” Saul laughed. “They’re super conservative about stuff like that. They think she’s still a virgin.”

Harry humored him with a chortle through the phone and then sighed. The sun was going down. Small talk needed to come to a halt. He had to get this part over with.

“So, uh… hate to ask this but um, could you let me crash at your place for a few nights? I’ve got nowhere to go since I just got out and gonna be cold tonight. Otherwise, I’d just sleep in the park or something.”

Silence for a few uncomfortable seconds.

“Did you ask your sister? I mean I’m sure–“

“She hates me right now. Won’t take my calls. But man, look, it’s okay if you can’t. I get it.”

“You know what? Sure. You can stay here for a bit. I know shit’s hard. How you gettin’ here?”

Harry let out the breath he’d been holding in and leaned his head back into the building in relief, “Gonna walk. Literally have nothing to my name. Just my old cell phone, half charged, and this free wifi I’m using to call you. I can get there in like an hour.”

Saul told him he’d pick him up but Harry didn’t want to trouble him anymore than he had. It was already embarrassing asking for help. Plus a walk through the city would feel good. It’d been a while since he’d seen the hustle and bustle of daily life in the city.

It was late September. He was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with boots. At least he had a beanie on his head. His cousin lived in one of those “up-and-coming” neighborhoods. Gritty but recently gentrified. His flat was two floors up. A flimsy plastic call button for the residents hung outside the reinforced glass door that opened up to a small lobby with mailboxes in the wall to the left and just beyond that, old wooden stairs that led up to each apartment.

Saul was on floor three. Harry took the stairs two at a time and the door was already open with his smiling cousin waiting for him and then a warm embrace that made Harry feel like maybe he was going to be okay. Silly as it sounded. He hadn’t been hugged in over a year. Hadn’t felt safe and relaxed in over a year.

“Ordered some pizza from this fire spot. Should be here soon. Beer?”

Harry could cry. He hadn’t had pizza or beer in over a year either. There was a lot he hadn’t had in over a year.

“Uh, yeah. Thank you, man.”

Harry followed Saul into his tiny galley kitchen and leaned against the frame of the door as he watched his cousin pull a beer from the fridge, “And thank you for everything. For this. I really mean it. I’ll pay you back as soon as I get a job.”

Handing Harry his beer Saul laughed, “We’ll see. Alyssa and I might need help for the wedding next summer. Her dad wants to have the wedding at their place. They’ve got this nice house with a massive garden in the back. But they need people to help landscape and do some manual labor to get it ready. Might save us a little money if you could help. But that’s a ways off,” he waved his hand as he walked past Harry into the living room. “Don’t worry about it right now. I’ll figure out a way you can pay me back.”

. . .

A few nights turned into a few weeks. And Harry did find a job, but he’d need to save up for a while longer to be able to afford a place on his own. He figured, at least he could pay Saul for food and help pay some of the bills in the meantime.

Fortunately, the job he found paid pretty well. Unfortunately, it was illegal. It was what had gotten him thrown in jail in the first place.

Selling drugs. Mainly weed. Some shrooms, ecstasy, molly… party drugs.

He applied to 28 places. Twenty. Eight. Dishwasher, food prep, janitor, midnight stocker, busboy, fast food line cook… everything he could find from places that might take a chance on someone with a record. After a week of having Harry sleeping on his couch, Saul appeared to be getting frustrated. So, Harry did what he always did when he needed money (and who doesn’t need money?). He called Memo.

Memo always had a spot for Harry. And because he trusted Harry he gave him an advance.

The first thing Harry did with his money was buy some clothes for himself and groceries for the house. Getting rid of his supply was easy. He still had all his old contacts to sell to and with Harry’s natural charm, he was introduced to even more people who wanted some killer weed and Harry was their man.

Saul seemed to lighten up a bit when Harry began paying him cash for his part of the bills and to help cover some of the rent.

Being a drug dealer bought him time. Eventually, he’d find a better gig. He knew there were places that would hire felons, he just had to be patient. But in the meantime, doing shady shit to get by was necessary.

“So, I’m going out tonight. With Alyssa and a few others. Just going to Ray’s. You can join us if you want.”

Harry was sitting on the couch readying himself for another night in but maybe going out with his cousin for a few beers could be fun, “Anyone I know going?”

Saul shook his head, “Doubt it. It’ll be Alyssa, her little sister, and a few of our mutual friends.”

Harry figured it was better if the people that were going to be there didn’t know him. And besides, what better way to spend a Friday night as a single man? Sitting at Saul’s house was fine, but going out and meeting new people with a few beers in hand sounded a hell of a lot better.

Harry nodded, “Why not?”

. . .

Roy’s might have been an old hole in the wall, but it was a popular old hole in the wall. Harry could hear the music before they walked into the black brick building with the lighted, vintage metal sign that hung above the door.

The smell of stale cigarettes and beer hung in the dark space, a shiny lacquered bar that ran half the length of the room, high-top tables, two pool tables, and a few booths.

Alyssa nearly pummeled Saul, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing him on the cheek as she squealed.

“We’re just over here! Tony got us a big booth 'cause he got here early.” She pulled Saul along with her. Harry followed.

The group that came into view were two young men and two young women. He barely had a chance to take it all in before Alyssa pulled his arm, “Everyone! This is Harry, Saul’s cousin. The one we were telling you about.”

The one we were telling you about. Harry knew what that meant.

Harry smiled and nodded as he slid into the booth. It was long and easily accommodated all seven of them.

“I’m Kelin,” the man he sat next to held his hand out to Harry to shake. The one next to Kelin greeted Harry, “I’m Tony,” he turned and looked at the girl next to him, “And this is my girlfriend, Dasha.” Dasha smiled and waved at Harry.

Then as Alyssa moved into the opposite side of the booth with Saul at the end she hugged the girl next to Dasha, “And this is my little sister, Y/n.”

Some moments in time are unexplainable. Like moments when things feel like fate but you don’t believe in that sort of thing. Or like when someone is speaking a language you don’t know but you swear you understood everything they just said. Sometimes it was more like a riddle you couldn’t figure out all day only to wake up in the middle of the night from a dream with the answer.

The moment Y/n set her pretty gaze upon Harry was like that for him. Something inexplicable. Something enchanting. Almost mythical.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Harry spoke as he tried to tear his eyes from the angel called Y/n. He forced his pupils away to look at everyone else but his heart was already beginning to thump violently in his chest.

Drinks were ordered and conversation resumed to wherever it was left off before Saul and Harry’s arrival.

“So, we were discussing anything but the wedding!” Dasha laughed as Alyssa moaned exaggeratedly.

“I was only letting you guys know the theme!” Alyssa laughed.

“Girl, tonight is a night off. And the wedding isn’t for like another 8 months!”

Harry tried to focus on the conversation as he sipped his beer but he couldn’t help allowing his eyes the indulgence of Y/n’s pretty face. She had some kind of clear drink. A vodka soda maybe. And when Kelin started talking about the Halloween party he was throwing Y/n’s eyes met Harry’s again and he thought he was going to fall limp to the floor in a puddle at her feet.

He didn’t even know what her voice sounded like and he was already imagining waking up next to her in the morning and getting to see her disheveled hair and warm pajamas and soft, tired eyes. He had never had such a visceral reaction to anyone before. Ever.

Another round of drinks made its way to the table and Harry hardly spoke a word. Y/n only laughed a few times at what was being said but otherwise, she remained quiet as she sipped her drink.

He needed to talk to her. He needed to learn all about her. He wasn’t sure why it felt so important, so vital to him. But every time she looked at him his throat went dry and he searched her face for any sign that she might be feeling the same odd connection that he was feeling.

“I need a cigarette,” Y/n spoke as she looked at Alyssa, making Saul and Alyssa scoot out of the booth to let her out.

Harry tapped his fingers on the table as he watched her walk past before speaking up, “Yeah, me too.” He hopped up from the booth and jogged to catch up with his dream girl before she could push the door open.

“Allow me,” he grabbed the handle and opened the door for her.

“What a gentleman. Thank you,” she grinned teasingly at him and Harry felt his head swirl and his knees go weak. She smiled at him and he was sure he was in love at that moment.

“I try,” he chuckled as he followed her to the edge of the building before she pulled out her pack of cigarettes. Harry liked the same brand.

He pulled out his lighter and held it out as she put the filter between her lips. The flame lit the tip and then Harry put his own cigarette into his mouth and lit it.

“You have good taste,” Y/n gestured with her cigarette toward his and watched his mouth as he inhaled the smoke into his lungs.

“Guess we both do,” he blew the smoke out and it mixed with the smoke she blew out at the same time.

“Heard you recently got out of jail. Alyssa told me to keep my distance,” she laughed as she took another puff, her eyes on his.

“Yeah. Trying to keep on the straight and narrow now. Jail sucks,” he let his gaze wander over her lips and jawline and down to her neck, “I’m not that bad, though. You gonna get in trouble with your big sister for having a smoke with me?”

She snorted (which Harry found adorable and irresistible) and shook her head, “I’m an adult. She tries to act protective and tough but she knows better than to tell me what I can and can’t do. In fact,” she took a drag and lowered her gaze to Harry’s outfit and then back up to his eyes before exhaling, “When she tells me not to do something it just makes me want to do it more.”

Harry felt his face grow warm as he listened to her speak and couldn’t help the smile that took over his face, dimples winking awake in his cheeks.

“Oh shit,” she leaned into the brick and crossed an arm over her middle, one arm angled out with the cigarette propped between her two fingers, “You’ve got dimples.”

Harry ashed his stick, keeping the smile on his face, “I guess I do. Is it okay?”

Y/n laughed softly, the prettiest sound Harry had ever heard, and nodded, “Of course it’s okay. It’s adorable.”

“Adorable…” Harry repeated as he leaned his shoulder into the brick and faced Y/n, “Think I’m adorable?” He pulled his lips into his mouth, tamping his wide smile as he blushed. Yeah, he was blushing.

She reached her hand up to his shoulder-length hair to tug at a curl, “You are. Pretty curls, green eyes, dimples. I get why Alyssa didn’t want me to get mixed up with you. An adorable bad boy. Dangerous combo.”

Harry shook his head and looked down at her feet before winding his pupils up her frame to her face, “Bad boy? Nah, not really. Just made some stupid decisions.”

Y/n shrugged and pulled at her cigarette before blowing out the hot smoke, “Mmm….” She pursed her lips and squinted at him, “You’re definitely a bad boy. You kind of emanate that persona. And I bet you use those dimples to charm all the ladies.”

Harry chuckled and looked down again to give his retinas a break from her breathtaking beauty. When he looked back at her he shook his head slowly, “If anything you’re the charmer. Making me blush over here.”

She giggled and leaned her head back as she looked up into the sky. Harry was not going to be getting over her laugh. He knew he’d be dreaming about it too.

“I’m just honest is all. Not particularly charming I don’t think.”

Harry shook his head and pointed at her, “No. You are definitely charming. Sweeping me right off my feet.”

“Oh, I am? Falling for me already, Harry?” She smirked at him and turned her body to face his, mimicking his stance.

Was it too soon for him to fall for her? Yes. But Harry was never one to play by usual timelines. He grinned and licked his lips, “Be bad if I said I was?”

She puffed out a laugh, “Probably would be bad. You don’t even know me. I’m really not all that great. Lots of issues. Very unstable,” she laughed as she gestured at her head and then wrapped her lips around the filter to inhale.

“If that’s the case, then you’re just that much cuter,” Harry parted his lips to place the cigarette between them as he kept his eyes on hers.

She bit her lip and turned to look out into the street, “You gonna go to the Halloween party next week?”

Harry shook his head, “Probably not. Wasn’t invited. Don’t like to dress up for shit like that anyway.”

“Hmm… If you go I’ll go,” she turned to look at him and raised her brows.

Harry stitched his brows together and tilted his head, “Are you serious?”

She nodded, “Sure. Why not. Wasn’t planning on going either but I will if you do.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at her and grinned, “Still wasn’t invited, though. We’ll see.”

Y/n tossed her butt down to the ground and stepped over the tip to crunch out the burning end, “Probably should get back in there. Alyssa’s gonna think we’ve run off together. That’d really get her going.”

Harry chuckled and followed suit with his own cigarette and nodded before following her back to the booth in the bar.

This time, as luck would have it, Harry scooted into his original spot and Y/n sat down next to him at the end.

“I wish you wouldn’t smoke,” Alyssa frowned at Y/n and Harry leaned forward to put his elbows on the table as he turned to look at Y/n’s profile. She was certainly stunning.

Y/n shook her head and looked at Dasha, “Will you pass my drink down?”

Harry looked down at his lukewarm beer and pushed himself into the seat, his back hitting the vinyl cushion behind him before turning his head to watch as Y/n drank from her glass.

Everyone at the table resumed their conversation but both Harry and Y/n were thinking about the way their thighs were pressed together and how warm it felt. How nice it was.

“You’re staring,” she whispered with a grin as she set her glass down on the table and turned slightly to see the limn of his outline in her peripheral.

He grinned as he leaned his shoulder into hers as he spoke quietly, “Can’t help it.”

Harry tried to be as subtle as possible with everyone around but his skin was tingling in delight any time she shifted to pick up her glass her thigh ran against the stretch of his jeans. He regretted that he couldn’t stare into her beautiful eyes but he loved her nearness. The smell of her perfume and her shampoo.

“So, Harry,” Tony spoke up, “What do you do for fun?”

Harry was caught off guard. He’d been far too focused on the girl next to him that he nearly forgot he might need to participate in a conversation.

He laughed and looked at Saul and then to Tony, “I like music a lot. Um… reading. I don’t know,” he shrugged.

“He used to be in a band. Plays guitar and sings. He can play almost any instrument actually,“ Saul chimed in.

Harry rolled his eyes when everyone began to ask questions. He didn’t enjoy talking about himself because then that wound up leading to discussing his time in jail. Thankfully no one brought it up, though he was sure everyone already knew anyway. Saul wasn’t exactly discreet.

When the bill was paid after everyone threw down some cash, Y/n slid out of the booth with Harry right behind her, “Can I have your number?” He spoke so only she could hear as he brushed his fingers against hers.

She stopped and turned toward him, a mischievous grin on her face, “I’ll give you my number if you come to the party next weekend.”

Everyone began to walk to the door and Y/n turned to leave but Harry wasn’t done. He felt his heart walloping in his chest as he hastened his steps after her, pulling at her hand as stealthily as possible, “I can’t just crash a party I wasn’t invited to.”

When they stepped outside Y/n moved to the side to let everyone walk past and she looked up at Harry, “If you don’t come then you don’t get my number. It’s up to you.”

Harry swallowed as he looked down at the pretty girl in amazement, “Fine. I’ll be there.”

She smiled sweetly and raised her hand to poke at his dimple, “I know you will.”

NEXT PART (link goes to Patreon)

I hope you enjoyed part 1! This is the only part I'll be posting on Tumblr. If you want more check out my Patreon 💕

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asvterias · 17 days

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𝖫𝖺𝗓𝗒 𝖣𝖺𝗒 & 𝖫𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖲𝗍𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆𝗌 ~ 𝖣𝗂𝗈𝗋 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇

dior masterlist

warnings: none!!

pairings: dior goodjohn ✘ black!fem!reader

genres: reader is an excellent baker, dior calling reader mamas (OMFG- 😩) cocky!dior, reader is VERY squeamish around snakes, gym!dior (JUST BCS), just cute sweet fluff between reader & dior, dior’s fans LOVE the couple

summary: spending a lazy day with your actress girlfriend while sometimes being involved on an instagram live is your favorite way to bypass quality time. wanting to help soothe your girlfriend’s stress from the production of her first song, ‘Focus’, so you decided to bake dior’s favorite cookies.

word count: 4.5k+

tag list: @addil244 @onxlyficcharacter @wtafaidh @mymyapplesigh @444-polar @sinmalssimp @silent-phantom120 @glwmcres @f4riedimples @babyzzlove @lov3rgirllll

author’s note: kinda a self-indulgent fanfic ngl. also if dior says she doesn’t like fanfictions about her, then i will delete this. i don’t wanna overstep any boundaries and make her uncomfortable.

Being bored in your house alone wasn’t as entertaining when you actually had the energy to make it enjoyable. Your parents and older brother had gone out for the day and your little sister, Leah spent the afternoon with her friends Walker and Aryan. Unfortunately, Dior was unable to keep you company as well, tending to her schedule. Since your girlfriend was occupied at the studio with the producers, practicing for her new hit single ‘Focus’, she couldn’t just ditch and be with you. She had her own life, consumed by other priorities that didn’t involve you.

Now, you weren’t an actress like your sister and girlfriend, yet you had a decent lifestyle despite Dior trying to spoil you endlessly with gifts from famous name brands.

Dior Goodjohn, there were so many words to describe her. Beloved multi-talented actress, who’s been a doting affectionate girlfriend of 2 years and overall a great girl in your life.

The car ride to your girlfriend’s apartment was a simple 30-minute drive and the entrance into her apartment was even easier. For your 1st anniversary gift, Dior gave you a spare house key, trusting you enough with that, telling you to come over whenever. She didn’t mind your presence beside her as she always admires your surprise visits.

It was her with the suggestion of you two living together, but neither of your parents ever allowed it, considering you’re still minors. Although you two were disappointed in their final decision, the couple made the extra effort and hosted as many sleepovers as possible.

Deciding upon doing an Instagram live whilst you waited for your girlfriend to arrive back home. Supposedly, she was busy with her first new single on the way called ‘Focus’ and you understood everything. The late nights returning back home, her exhausted state, all of it, you witnessed and supported her all the way. Whenever Dior needed you, you were there at her beck and call, helping her relax when the impending stress became too overwhelming.

An hour ago, she had sent a text, reassuring you that she’ll be home soon. By the time she’d reached home, it’d been almost nightfall, the evening disappearing.

Once you’ve started the live, you greet the fans with a quick wave and smile, observing the number of fans joining your live. At first, you didn’t keep the conversation short with them, updating them on your whereabouts.

Walking into the kitchen, you took the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and grabbed the materials needed. Tending to the chocolate chip cookie dough as you silently read over the simple recipe placed on the counter.

Just in time, there was loud shuffling heard outside the front door and you squealed in excitement. Your beloved girlfriend had finally reached back home. Dior has been consumed at the studio, all with the anxious release of her first new single ‘Focus’. Sometimes your girlfriend invites you over to the studio to preview her song with her and honestly share some helpful insight on it.

When she walked into the apartment, her tensed shoulders relaxed and her droopy eyes lit up at the sight of you. There you were in all your glory; her beautiful girlfriend to the rescue, providing her that gorgeous smile and unlimited cuddles of comfort. She’ll always cherish her moments with you, no matter how long time will grant. Closing the door and locking it behind her, she sends you a cheery smile, discarding her bag on the floor.

Very tiredly, she staggered over to the kitchen where you were.

“Hey mamas,” She greets you, eagerly accepting your inviting hug, giving you a soft short kiss on the lips.

“My wifey is back home!” You grinned, shoving her presence in the camera, hugging her tightly.

“How was your day?” She asked.

“So boring until you arrived.”

“Hey guys,” she waved with phone in hand and her other hand still wrapped around your waist, keeping you secure in her grasp. You felt the beads of sweat on her forehead, cheeks flushed and her breathing seemed erratic. Her outfit was quite appealing to the eye, wearing a black Nike gym outfit and the kitchen light glared onto her toned stomach, causing you to be flustered.

Probably just redressed in her backup gym clothes and finished a late-night gym workout to help ease her worries. She always did so whenever her nerves got the better of her.

Often, she’d be gym buddies with Charlie but not tonight, looks like she wanted to be alone.

“Go take a shower,” you whispered in her ear, scrunching up your nose when she boops your nose, “You’re all sweaty and shit.”

“I was planning to.”

You nodded assuredly and released yourself from Dior’s hug, watching your girlfriend leave the kitchen, heading to her bathroom to take a nice shower. Staring at her figure until she disappeared behind the door, your back facing the camera and you redirected your attention back to the live.

For the time being, you comfortably sat on the kitchen counter, gaining a sudden sweet tooth, and munched down on the chocolate chips while answering the viewer’s questions. After you got a toothache from the sweetness of the chocolate chips, you balanced it out with warm water. Suddenly you gained the random urge to bake cookies, rather than continue your process of it. For some reason, you started creating the cookie dough, but ultimately got distracted and impatient…and also bored of doing so. As a matter of fact, you remembered snacking on the chocolate chips and answering questions on your live not even 30 minutes ago. You shake your head at the recent memory, amused by your own tactics, and now determined to surprise your exhausted girlfriend with a hot batch of delicious cookies downed with a fresh glass of milk.

Everything about this was the perfect timing. To help soothe your girlfriend and impress her fans with your amazing baking skills. Mostly, it was to help your stressed girlfriend.

You leaned forward, one hand still holding the mixing spoon, and squinted your eyes as you read a live comment, “Where is Dior right now?”

“Ummm….she’s in the shower because she just recently reached home.”

That statement sparked brand new questions for fans to ask:

‘Do you like Dior’s body build?’

‘Are you two gym buddies?’

‘Bet you absolutely love seeing Dior work out! 😉’

‘Where’s your little sister Leah??”

“Of course I do, everything involving Dior I’m obsessed with! Absolutely not, I can’t work out to save my life, and no I’m not my sister’s bodyguard!” You chuckle, applying the dry ingredients into the mixing bowl.

‘What are you making?’

You showed the camera the mixing bowl filled with raw cookie dough, which lacked the chocolate chips yet.

“Chocolate chip cookies, they’re Dior’s favorite,” You said, “She’s such a sweet tooth.”

@: ‘Aww, Y/N’s soo sweet.’

@: ‘Wish I had a gf to bake my favorite treats!’

“Good thing, Dior always has a spare chocolate chip bag around here.” You bite your lip, “Just need to get my hands on them.”

Deeply invested in your baking, you didn’t recognize how quickly time passed by when Dior appeared behind you, instantly going for your warm touch. She inhales your scent, hugs you from behind, and peppers your face and neck with innocent kisses, enjoying the erupting giggles from you.

“Never mind you guys, Dior’s here.”

Your head sashays with every movement making your braids tickle her skin lightly.

Paying no attention to her presence, you stirred the pot listening to her low humming while rocking you side to side. These were the days that Dior loved, a chance to catch a breather and soak in relaxation days with you.

Her eyes analyzed the Instagram live on your phone.

“Where did you hide the spare chocolate chip bag?”

“Like, I’d tell you,” she scoffs, “Last time I told you where I hid the chocolate chips, I heard you in the middle of the night, snacking on them. We had an unprepared visit to the dentist the following morning and we both know you hate going to the dentist.”

“That was an inconvenience!”

“No, No! That was karma, I warned you multiple times to not eat so many sweets at one time. You’re just a stubborn girl.”

“Yeah, and so what I’m your stubborn girl,” You leaned closer towards her, noses hovering over the other as you stared into each other’s eyes. “Which makes me your problem!”

“Oh, you’re a problem, alright.”

“Yeah, your prettiest problem too!”

She huffed as you consistently pestered about the other hidden bag of chocolate chips, finally being convinced by your whining. You beamed in excitement, gripping the fresh bag as you sauntered back over to the mixing bowl.

Another buzz feed of comments was spiraling your girlfriend’s way.

@: ‘The cutest couple to ever exist!!’

@: ‘Couple goals fr!’

@: ‘How long have you and Y/N been dating?’

Dior informs them, “We’ve been dating for 2 years, our anniversary is coming up soon.”

“What you gonna get me?”

“It’s a surprise, my love.”

“I do love surprises,”

“I know you do.”

“Just don’t pop up with no snake.” You said, your sweet tone disappears.

“Someone popped up with a snake thinking it’ll be funny.” You referred to Dior with an unimpressed look.

“Update it was.”

“Show up with a snake again, and I swear someone is getting punched.”

“You wouldn’t punch me, my face is too pretty for that kinda damage.”

“Well, I’m obviously not punching the snake!”

“You wouldn’t punch me.”

“If you bring a snake I just might,” Obviously, you were kidding. You’d never do that to your sweet beloved girlfriend.

She frowns slightly, rethinking her upcoming words.

“Last time it wasn’t funny! Everyone knows I don’t fuck with reptiles, especially snakes.”

“That just means she likes you!” Dior insisted.

“I don’t care, that goddamn yellow snake can like me at a safe distance behind a glass cage at the petting zoo!” You shout, “Either that or nothing!”

“You guys see what I have to deal with on a daily,” Dior points to you, sarcasm laced in her tone, “Such a drama queen.”

Nodding along to your girlfriend’s statement as you applied the chocolate chips to the batch of raw cookie dough.

“Yet, she loves this drama queen,” you retorted.

Dior scans some more of the fans’ comments.

@: ‘DIOR PLEASE POST THE SINGLE OUT NOW 🙏🏾🙏🏾!!’

@: ‘OMG HOW IS FOCUS GOING??’

@: ‘CAN WE GET ANOTHER TEASER??’

“Sorry guys, I already said when Focus is getting released and unless you’re my girl, you don’t get a preview.” She confirms with the viewers, “Also it’s going really well.”

@: ‘Omg they’re so cute, it’s not even funny!’

@: ‘When will this happen to me??’

@: ‘How was the preview Y/N??’

“It was fucking awesome,” you answered the last commenter, “Like her voice is so beautiful, like I fell in love with her a million times over again, it’s completely outrageous.”

“We can’t wait for you guys to hear it!” Dior cheers.

“All of your ears will be certainly blessed after hearing her magnetic voice, I know I was.” You agreed.

“Aren’t you quite the flatterer.”

“I’m just being a supportive girlfriend who’s always honest with you.”

“Never said I didn’t like the compliments,”

“Baby, can you preheat the oven to 350 degrees for me?” You gently asked her.

Dior remained quiet, complying with your request, walking to the oven, and preheating it. She skipped back over to you, arms wrapped around your waist, continuing to hug you from behind, gazing at you. You started to ball the cookie dough, your tongue sticking out slightly in concentration as the silence in the atmosphere was turning palpable.

“Why are you so quiet?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, turning to the curly-haired girl, pausing your movements.

“Nothing…it’s just you’re so beautiful.” She murmured, taken away by your beauty. “Gimmie a kiss…” she puckered her lips, leaning into you.

Instead of giving in to her demands, you swipe a decent amount of remaining flour on your finger, smearing it across your girlfriend’s cheek.

“Did you just—?” her eyes widened in shock, glancing at the flour placed on her cheek.

“I did!” you giggled, applying another ounce of flour on her other cheek, “And I’m not even sorry,”

@: ‘You can’t tell me they aren’t in love, like just look at them!’

“You’re lucky you’re so cute and adorable,” she pouts, swiping an ounce of flour on your nose.

“Not the only reason you’re letting me off so easy,” you whine as she places her head into the crevice of your neck, still placing tiny kisses there.

Her voice was muffled. “We can always order in, you know that, princess.” you turned off the stove, leaving Dior’s fingers lingering on your stomach.

“I know,” you sigh, turning around to face your girlfriend and her hands immediately redirect on your waist. you tried to avoid eye contact, in hopes of getting your point across without being distracted but her hazel eyes remained on you. “I just wanted to do something special for you cause you deserve it and I wanted to help brighten your day.” Finally, you manage to gaze into Dior’s eyes only to find her already admiringly staring back.

You never took in her outfit, eyes slowly trailing down at her body. She wore a white Nike sports bra with gray shorts and her hair was still damp from the shower.

You didn’t realize you were checking her out until Dior pointed it out.

“Gorgeous, my eyes are up here.” She teases, chuckling slightly at your reaction towards her clothing.

“I don’t need a fresh pair of my favorite cookies to know that you love me. Just you being here brightens up my day and I want you to know that.” her fingers glide over your cocoa-brown skin, drinking in your skin tone with her delicate touch. “I appreciate every single thing that you have to offer, because, believe me, I’d be a damn fool if I ever let you go.”

You chuckle and caress her face, slightly stroking her cheek. “I love you so much, Dior.”

“I love you too, mi amor.” she leaned in for a kiss and you complied, making her hum and deepen the kiss. completely mesmerized by the passionate kiss, you didn’t react when you felt two arms lifting you by the thighs, throwing your body onto her shoulder like you weighed nothing. She patted your hips twice, turning to the phone and sending the viewers a wink before carrying you over to the couch.

“No!! Babe, Dior…put me down!!” you mercifully pleaded with your girlfriend but it was rendered useless when she finally dropped you out of her hands…and right onto the couch which was nearby. The Instagram live was able to see you two, only at a farther distance.

You end up lying upside down on the couch as your braids hang over the floor and your legs dangle in mid-air. Dior’s laughs fill the atmosphere and the butterflies flutter in your stomach, due to slight embarrassment and amusement.

“Alright jokes over, help me up now, Dior.” you held out your hand, eager for reliance.

“Oh no, that’s the oldest trick in the book. I’m not gonna fall for that one.”

You roll your eyes, pulling yourself up using your elbows as support, and hastily grab her shirt and pull her down with you. A shocked gasp left her lungs as she tumbled down beside you and once she’s recovered from her fall, she turned to look at you.

With your hand still gripping her shirt, and instead of another sudden ambush, you pulled her in for a soft kiss, gently pecking her lips and giving her the widest grin you could’ve displayed.

“Now we both know that you could do better than that.”

Your harsh grip on her sweatshirt loosened, and this time Dior leaned in and kissed you tenderly, highly content that you reciprocated the action back. The brunette pulled away, “Great, now can we order in? You know, you’re my girl and all, who I wholeheartedly adore, but I don’t want to be sick for the rest of the week.”

You feign shock, shoving her in the stomach as she dramatically acts being hurt, clutching onto her stomach, and falling on the floor. You were truly offended at your girlfriend’s words while she just laughed boisterously.

“I could so cook!” You argued.

“I love you gorgeous, but no you can’t.”

You throw the couch pillow, hurling the item towards her face. Much to your dismay, Dior’s reaction time was faster, stretching a hand out to block the flying pillow and catching it.

“Guess you’ll be on a kissing ban.” You cross your arms and twist your nose in the air.

“No, I won’t.”

She stood up menacingly, stalking closer towards you, making you look at her and unfurl your folded arms.

“Oh yes, you will,”

“You’re gonna seriously ban me from your kisses all because I said you’re a horrible cook.” Dior defends herself, “You’re an excellent baker now.”

“I’m petty as hell, don’t forget it.”

“I thought you meant pretty as hell,” Dior smirks.

“That too!”

“You bet your ass you are.” She pinches your thigh.

“Wow, thanks for the compliment, d,” You roll your eyes.

“No problem, princess.” she kissed your knuckles before trailing up your arms and halting at your collarbones, “You drown in my compliments, and I love to see it.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” you murmur, a fond smile tugging at the ends of your lip.

Her hot breath fanned over your ear. “Come on, babe.” she groans against your skin, pressing a chaste kiss behind your ear, missing the way you squirmed lightly from her ticklish lips. Her energetic eyes met yours once again as she spoke, “Let’s order takeout, Chipotle, your favorite, it’s all on me.”

“How can I say no to that?”

She shifted her weight from you, allowing some space since she was lying on top of you, making you escape much easier from her embrace.

Keeping you on her watchful gaze, you venture to the dining room table to retrieve the Chipotle menu.

“Or how can you see no to me?” She states when you returned back to the living room.

“Real smooth, Goodjohn.” your sentence rolls off your tongue with ease. You swore you witnessed Dior shudder at the sultry tone of your voice, mentioning her last name. The vulnerable sight of your cocky girlfriend made a smile widen across your face.

“Isn’t that how I’m dating you? You were swooned by my alluring charm?!” she questioned, staring at you, curious for the answer. “Or unless,” she gasps shockingly, causing you to resist the temptation of rolling your eyes, “You’re only with me for my body and popularity,”

“No no you were a sexy dumbass and I was your smart savior,” you reaffirmed her accusations. “You being an uprising celebrity is just one of the many advantages,”

“Whatever, you fell for me and my charms, regardless,”

You huff, crossing your arms as you avoid Dior’s gaze. “I like you because of you,”

“Damn right you did,” she pulled you in closer by the waist, “And I know you wouldn’t change me for anything.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” you scoff.

“Oh but I love it when I’m right,” Dior chuckles, bringing your lips onto yours, pouting slightly when you refuse the kiss. “Makes me feel like I’ve beaten you at something,”

Her mood brightens when you change your mind, settling for a quick peck on the lips.

Anything was better than nothing, Dior supposed, but then immediately disagreed. She grew irritated at the lack of your attention, at this point feeling it was better if you didn’t reward her with a kiss anyway. Snapping her eyes at you, sending a glare of irritation, observing the cocky grin on your face.

This sneaky little vixen, Dior thought as she maintained eye contact with you. Of course, you were fully aware of Dior’s total hatred towards light kisses, and to give her a peck was so wrong in many ways. Clearly, it meant you didn’t love her anymore and that peck was the first sign of you losing interest in her.

Dior shook her head, disposing of those thoughts, knowing she was being a dramatic queen right now.

“Keep this attitude up and you’ll be sleeping on the couch,” you snarled, hoping your demanding tone would encourage Dior to oblige. Oh, Dior loves your confidence, but not when it was used against her.

It was necessary to humble you, right then and there, or else you’ll never learn your lesson. After all, you were a very smart girl and not a stupid one, it wasn’t your tendency to make frequent mistakes like this.

Without saying a word, she squeezes your stomach, her hands slithering their way upwards against your chest and you release a tiny squeal of shock. Dior had her gaze locked down on you during the whole time. You refused to look your girlfriend in the eyes as you closed your eyes, internally cursing yourself for being so submissive to her actions. and rather, a very simple action at that too. God, you thought you had more pride than you let on.

Guessing it was Dior’s way of saying; don’t bite off more than you can chew.

“No, I won’t, and I know you won’t do that. You’ll miss me too much,” she admitted, grinning at the scowl appearing on your lips. your girlfriend shuffles slightly on you, keeping her warm hands underneath the hoodie you wore, “Baby, don’t scowl, it promotes ugly wrinkles.”

That comment earned Dior a flick to her forehead and you pushed her to the floor, giggling at her dejected groans of pain.

You looked at your phone, grabbed it, and flipped the camera, showing your girlfriend sprawled out on the floor. Her beautiful curls spread across the carpeted floor as she squints her eyes at you.

On Instagram live, comments and viewers flooded in alike, observing the sapphic couple.

“Look at this dumbass,” You stated, bringing the phone closer to her as you straddled her lap. Instinctively, her arms rest on your hips, lightly tracing imaginary patterns on the clothed flesh. Limbs tangled together, constant swooning with each other through quick stares, and the faint giggles erupting from both of you filled the quiet atmosphere.

“Not too close,” she warns, puckering her lips, “My lips are all yours.” Out of the camera, your girlfriend kisses your cheek and then

“Gimmie a kiss and a real one this time!” Dior demands, mumbling it to you.

You pressed her lips against yours softly, seemingly making the kiss sweet and innocent. Tugging one of Dior’s loose curls that dangled in her face, you pulled it behind her ear as your lips moved as one. You adored Dior’s hair, thick voluminous curls flowing down to her neck and you couldn’t resist playing it in when she was close.

She could kiss you a billion times, and that still wouldn’t suffice for you, Dior made sure you know that on numerous occasions, often being the one to overextend your kisses. You felt your girlfriend’s smile in the kiss as she deepened it, her grip on your waist tightening.

It was one of those slow and steady kisses that you cherished with her. There was no need to rush your makeout, a calm chaste kiss sealed the deal and got the point across. Dior was just drowning in your lips, never reluctant to refuse your kisses, moving on one accord.

She couldn’t go on with another minute without your loving kisses. Those kisses shared with you, your soft and sweet lips, were like nicotine to her, a special type of drug, stupidly yearning for your lips even more. You were Dior’s drug and she was your addiction. Insanely addicted to your lips making her act crazy, practically begging on her knees for an ounce of your attention, wondering if you saw her in the same light she perceived for you.

Sucking in a breath as the kiss intensified, one of Dior’s hands traveled to your lower back as the other remained on your hips, lightly squeezing the flesh there. You moaned in the kiss, spurring your girlfriend further on as she tugged at your lower lips, biting down gently, hardly enticing any discomfort from you.

Dior gave you time to adjust yourself again as she stared at you in contentment. Your hand teasingly runs down from the crevices of her breasts down to her toned abdomen and her breath hitched at this. However, she gains dominance as her hands grip the flesh of your thighs, squeezing down on them as you shuffle slightly.

Eventually leading up to the risk of getting insanely high, and resisting the temptation to become sober. Never take the risk of being sober if it means that she gets to be high off of you every day, obsessed by everything you achieved. Like hell was your girlfriend was gonna waste the chance of losing your touch once more, she’d be crazy enough to beat those allegations.

“I’m your….” Dior clarified, lips swollen from the intense making out. The camera frame caught onto her loose curls and barely the side of her face, “Sexy dumbass, you said so yourself,” She nods reassuringly, smiling slightly at your laughter.

“Think that’s it for today, we’ll see you later!” You concluded, and gave Dior your phone, displaying her presence on the live, “Say goodbye Dior!”

“Bye, you guys! Love ya!” Dior blows an air kiss at the phone screen. She ended the Instagram live and placed the phone on the coffee table as you both sat upright.

“Damn, baby,” she chuckles, wiping away the flour from her cheek. Her gaze never left you, peering at the flour mess on your face too. Your girlfriend smirks at you, “Looks like we’re gonna both take a shower sooner than expected.”

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

#dior goodjohn #dior goodjohn x reader #dior goodjohn x fem!reader #dior goodjohn x black!reader #dior goodjohn x black!fem!reader #dior goodjohn imagine

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twinklelilstarkey · 10 months

Text

Tutor: Long Overdue

Words: 3k+ Type: Some angst, but fluff Summary: The days after the argument. Warnings: Rafe is the softest boyfriend in the world. Y/N has some problems with overthinking and anxiety here. Mentions of alcohol. Mentions of narcissist friends. A filler chapter for you to take a breath in the middle of the angst.

Tutor Masterlist

I do NOT give you permission to repost my work. If you’d like to read my stories on other platforms, you can find them on my Wattpad and AO3.

You wish you could say that everything went by smoothly after that conversation. But you would be lying if you said so.

When you got out of that car, your hands were visibly shaking. It was out of your control. It was a mix of all your emotions just building up inside you and wanting to come out all at once. It was the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, and the sadness. You hated every single second of that conversation. How helpless you felt at times. The way your supposed friends looked at you as you spoke. It was as if you had gone insane.

Thankfully, when inside the house, Wheezie had run upstairs for a quick shower before your tutoring class, or else she would’ve seen you cry your eyes out in front of her brother. You felt weak for doing so, but you still did it. You cried the entire time you told Rafe everything about what had happened. You noticed how he had no idea what to say or what to do for you, other than give you comfort. And you let him do it, as that felt like what you needed too.

When Wheezie had come back downstairs with her things - since she wanted to study outside this time - you had already wiped your tears clean and didn’t feel like you would cry at every sentence that left your lips. To your luck, your eyes didn’t appear too puffy when she laid her eyes on you, which spared you from many questions.

By the time you were helping her study, Rafe still kept a close eye on you. He would never disappear from your view for too long, always either sitting on his phone on the porch or coming out to the table near the pool, where the two of you were. He made you and Wheezie laugh from time to time.

It lifted your mood ever so slightly, but deep down you still were filled with worry and hurt. How far could this go? Could the girls go further than this? Maybe by telling other people, or simply talking to their other friends about this. Was there a possibility this could get to your parents before you even had the chance of finishing high school as you had planned?

All these questions, they made worry bubble in your blood at the most random of times during that afternoon. By the end of it, Ward and Rose eventually came home. Rafe was by the island of the kitchen when Rose stepped out of the kitchen to get you your monthly paycheck, and Sarah Cameron stood in that kitchen for a single second, and the first thing she said to you was: “Are you okay? You look… down.”

If that did anything to you was to force yourself to put on a better act. You were just about to go home as Ward had asked for Rafe to drive you. You didn’t want your parents to see you and ask the same things. It would be harder to lie to them than to Sarah.

You two sat in the car in silence for a bit, and you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you. Silence only gave you the excuse to want to cry more, even when you still felt ridiculous for it. You tried to hold it back, but whenever a tear would slip, Rafe was there. He calmed you down and held your hand or sometimes said something that would make your heart hurt less.

At home, you forced yourself to make conversation with your parents - knowing that if you didn’t, they would’ve followed you to your room to find a reason behind your silence. All of it was forced and unnatural small talk, but your parents didn’t seem to notice. Your mom was too focused on making a new recipe for dinner, and your dad was too focused on his reading to look up from the book in his hands.

The rest of the day wasn’t any easier. Rafe asked if you wanted to come over, but you know that it wouldn’t make anything easy. It would simply make your feelings go temporarily numb. You didn’t need that. You needed to just face it for what it is: a stupid confrontation that you saw coming from a mile away because it had to happen eventually. It just came sooner than you expected.

Sleep didn’t come easy either. By the time you finally fell asleep, there weren’t many hours of rest before having to get up for class. You hid whatever hints of your exhaustion with make-up, as well as put on a happier expression just so you could make your way through the house and to school without any questions coming from your parents.

Breakfast was uneventful, just like dinner the day before. And your dad drove you to school just as you had planned beforehand.

In class, if you were used to the girls' looks before, this day had been another level of staring. And given the fact that you share every class with each of them, your sadness and worry quickly turned into anger by lunch hour. They didn’t try to speak to you or even ambush you all at once again. They just sat there at their little tables watching you as if you were some experiment about to go wrong.

Kristy wasn’t in school. She missed every single one of her classes. And all that made you think was how thankful you were for the lack of her staring too.

By the time you were done with classes for the day and inside Rafe’s car, you were still in your depressing bubble but more annoyed than anything else. And that is when a call from Patty came in. There was going to be a party tonight.

You're not ashamed to admit you didn’t even think twice before answering her. You wanted to go to that party. And you did.

Not that you remember much from it now that you lay on Rafe’s bed, silently contemplating your life choices, but you like to think that you had fun.

You remember how you got to the party with Rafe, and quickly found Patty, who made sure to give you as many drinks as you wished to have.

Rafe stepped away to find Topper and Kelce only after he made sure that Patty was going to actually stay by your side the whole night and entertain you enough.

You drank cup after cup of different concoctions made by Patty herself. Some were actually good, others… she just told you to drink it all in one gulp.

You were able to disconnect from reality while sitting in that kitchen with her, drinking and listening to her talk you through the process of making another drink. You two talked for a long time, or at least for enough time until the both of you weren’t exactly speaking in obvious and comprehensible sentences but in slurred words filled with giggles.

And you remember that you went off to find Rafe at some point. You remember that he was very much sober at that time. You remember flashes of sitting on that couch with him and his friends. Patty would eventually join you on the couch and start a conversation that would make a lot more sense than any of the guys' around the table. You also remember that it was way funnier at the time than now.

Also, at one point into the night, you decided that playing, or better, patting Rafe’s buzzed head was the best idea you could ever have. Your drunk mind must have been blown to realize how weird it felt to touch his short hair and feel it prickle your palm. Rafe didn’t seem to mind it too much - even though he must have told you to stop at one point because you remember being dramatically hurt by something he said to you.

Maybe you had exaggerated by deciding to numb your thoughts with alcohol when you know that hanging out with these people would simply do the job. You didn’t need to get that drunk. But you still felt like it was the best time to do it, as well as with the best people.

Hanging out with people like Patty and Topper is nice. They were never your type of crowd, but even when drunk or high, last night, they did listen to you when you talked about what happened. It happened when some of you decided to step outside for some air, while others, like Rafe, decided to stay back. You told them everything, and they listened. And they also offered to help, in any way possible.

That memory alone made your heart squeeze in your chest. Maybe, yes, this is how real friends are supposed to be if they are able to. But it still felt good when they told you that if you ever needed to run away from life’s problems for a bit, they would be there for you, along with Rafe.

And to think that conversations like these resulted only from you choosing to date someone with a bad reputation.

Since the beginning, you had a feeling that you would need to talk to someone about it - you and Rafe. Simply to let them know before they find out from someone else, and everything turns shitty. And, now, all you can do is acknowledge that you missed your opportunity and everything is indeed shitty.

Your friends found out before you could even warm the waters with some information or subtle hints first. Maybe you could've told them about all the times Rafe hadn’t been like the awful cookie-cutter shape they all seem to find him fitting in at all times. You could’ve told them about how he is not bad and how he is indeed good. But you missed the opportunity to do so. You let them find out by themselves, and now they think you are in bed with a psychopath only for the thrill of it. Not with your boyfriend, who has never done a bad thing to you and is always putting you first.

Yet, even in the ocean of guilt, you can’t help but feel the anger that has begun to rise by itself. Yes, you had missed your opportunity, but your friends had also failed. They failed to speak to you in a civilized way. Failed to be there for you as they believed you were in a manipulating and abusive relationship. Failed to understand you. And failed at being your friends at the end of the day. They didn’t seem to care about your feelings that day, and they didn’t seem to care about anything but their fury toward you this week. They failed, even if you did so too.

And, as much as you hate it, there is still fear inside you. It has been pushed deep into you, hiding in a corner of your brain, stored away with other worries on top of it so it isn’t noticed by you any time soon. And that fear has a shape and name. Your parents. Because if your friends had their suspicions and found the truth, where does that put your parents?

They are a pair that believes in every word from the neighbors, as well as any word on the streets. If someone were to whisper about Rafe murdering a crocodile in the middle of the street, they would believe it - even when there aren’t any crocodiles near any roads in the OBX. They would believe it, every word of it. Maybe make theories of their own too. Imagine Rafe as this cartoonish supervillain, now wearing the skin of his victims as new shoes. It is ridiculous but absolutely believable to them.

How would they react? What would they do to you? You are of age, but still a student and living under their roof. What would they even think of you?

“Scoot over, you’re taking up the whole damn bed,” Rafe says while standing beside his bed.

You snap out of your horrible thoughts - with your mind still trying to envelop your heart with its dark and painful realities - and throw the pillow closest to you at him, hitting him in the chest. He doesn’t respond. He throws the pillow away and makes you move with a hand on your shoulder and another on your leg, pushing you further into the bed.

The coldness of the sheets under you make your body react in an uncomfortable wave of shivers, and you turn to face Rafe, who is lying on his back beside you now. On the bedside beside him, you can see that it is still early in the morning, meaning you still have a few hours before being dropped off at your house and then at school. And also, everyone in Rafe’s home is still very much asleep.

“Looking at the time won’t make it go by faster,” Rafe says, making you look at him.

“I want it to go slower, not faster.”

Rafe meets your gaze, and he holds it for a bit. A slight bit of a headache hits you right in the temple, and you try not to react by snuggling closer to the pillow under your head. Seems like you were never truly someone blessed with no headaches while hungover, just lucky on that one time.

“What’s wrong?”

“Headache.” You groan into the pillow, closing your eyes to escape his gaze for only a bit.

It takes a few seconds before he talks again.

“What else?” His tone is soft and worrisome. When hearing his question, you don’t move; not even an inch. You just lay there for a bit, listening to your own heartbeat with your ear buried in the pillow. You let some heartbeats go by in your silence, but Rafe waits for you. Never pushes you. He just waits.

“I’m… worried, I think.” You whisper so softly, you almost don’t hear yourself.

“About your friends?”

“That too,” You open your eyes as you talk, “But more about my parents.”

“Why?”

“They’re strict. Very strict,” You explain, even though you know that Rafe already knows that, or else he hadn’t been climbing your window and whispering in your room for months. “They always reacted badly to dating. And they never liked you or your family.”

“Many don’t,” he says with a small curve on his lips.

“It’s different,” you try to explain in as few words as you can, “They’re worse than Kristy or any of the girls would be.”

Rafe simply looks at you, silent. You look at him and let out a breath.

“I don’t know what they’re going to do when they find out...” You tell him, sincerely. “I just want it all to be after graduation.”

He still doesn’t say anything, so, he simply lets you talk.

“I think that’s what I’m so scared of… The fact that I don’t know what to expect from their reaction.” You sigh, “And that is why I wanted it to be later. So I can- I don’t know, run away before they get to do anything.”

“What’s the worst thing they can do?”

“I’m not sure…” You whisper, your eyes meeting his again. “Kick me out, probably. Never speak to me again,” You try to say it with a positive tone, one that doesn’t seem to consider those options to be true, when, in reality, nothing ever felt more possible than this.

Rafe makes a face that doesn’t seem like he’s convinced.

“I can’t be that bad.” And that earns him a smack.

Rafe’s laughter fills the room, and a small involuntary smile appears on your lips.

“Be serious,” You tell him, turning around to lay on your stomach and prop yourself up on your elbows. You groan with the slight headache pounding on your head, and Rafe’s hand soon lays over your head, trying to soothe the pain away.

“I’m sorry,” He says.

“I’ll think about it,” You say while meeting his eyes. Some sort of humor comes out with your words, and Rafe notices it. He grins and simply looks at you for a moment.

You two stay quiet for a little longer before you start letting more words out, explaining your worries to Rafe while he simply listens. He just lays there and nods, giving you his utmost attention.

And, as expected, you two talk for so long that time does the opposite of what you want it to. It just speeds past you two, and everyone in the house begins to get up and get ready for the day.

While listening to the doors opening and closing around the house, as well as some screaming about breakfast from one floor to the other, you two lay in Rafe’s bed in silence. Rafe’s hand is on your pillow, fallen from your hair, and now under your cheek, softly caressing it with his thumb while you lay there, hugging your pillow with your eyes closed.

Rafe stares at you for a bit. There would be no way of you catching him doing it, with your eyes closed and body ready to go back to sleep. You are laying on his bed, lacking clothes, and with only a soft white duvet over your legs all the way up to your waist. Your back is uncovered, and your hair is a mess, but the scenery is perfect. Rafe’s heart tightens at the memory of the tears you’ve spilled in the last few days. He can’t help but feel guilty over it, even when you remind him that he has nothing to feel guilty about.

You’ve told him time and time again. Whatever has happened has nothing to do with him. It has to do with control. Control that some of these people want to have over you or have had for so long - even when that control was disguised as love and worry of you ever getting hurt. Truthfully, it would’ve been indeed love if they wished to speak to you calmly and got to know Rafe. But your friends never dared to.

And Rafe knows how much you wish your parents to be different. Even when you teared up while saying it just now, Rafe listened as your tone was thick with hope - the hope of your parents to be on your side when all of it comes out. And still, all he can do is be there for you until all this ends, whenever that will be.

Rafe leans over and pulls you closer to him, which you let him with no hesitation. Your head lays over his shoulder, and your arms go around him. Rafe hugs your body close to him and kisses the top of your head, cherishing the small breath you let out as he does it.

“I love you,” you whisper to him, your breath warm against his skin.

Rafe leans his head in closer to yours and kisses your hair. There is no surprise for either of you to say it. No fear of the love not being reciprocated. No fear of rejection because all of it is obvious, even in the midst of all this mess. Those words were long overdue.

“I love you too,” He whispers, making you lean in closer to his warmth.

- - - - - -

*Giggles in 'shit is about to hit the fan but I am making y'all suffer in anticipation'*

500 notes · View notes

stayandot8 · 3 months

Text

Drawn To You

Genre: fluff?? i guess??

Relationship type: idol!(lowkeytsundere)Seungmin x I.N's bestie reader

Important Contents: requested, i hope you enjoy my second Seungmin piece

WC: 4k

masterlist

I’d known Jeongin since we were kids. I was about a year older, but he’d always been there for me since the young days, before he became this huge kpop idol star with his group. But after I went away, our friendship strained.

The problem was that I didn’t tell him that I applied for school overseas in America. I needed to get out of our town, on to bigger things, and that upset him. We told each other everything. Everything…except that. He understood, like the amazing friend he was, but as he pursued his own dream, his time was harder to come by. The questions about America came fewer and slower, phone calls went from everyday to twice a week to once a month until the only time I heard from him was when he thought of me in between recording sessions. He always texted me after recording, something about needing to know I was behind him. I always knew he’d be a famous singer. His voice was always unique. Now the world was getting to see what I already knew as fact. And I was damn proud of him. I made sure to tell him every chance I got. Or at least I tried, because those opportunities came fewer and fewer as the years went on.

What I didn’t realize until I was already there was that America was not what I wanted. But my family had already paid my way through for me to get there and start, so I owed it to them to finish what I started. No, begged them for. I had to do it. Not just for me, but for them too now. And when I finished, degree in hand (well, suitcase), I traipsed back to Korea like my life depended on it. Why? Well… because it did.

The almost 16 hour plane ride was full of going from one book to another to my music apps and podcasts, fighting the impending boredom that came with the “adventure” in a tin can in the sky. The in-house wifi was holding up as best it could and my laptop was on the brink of overheating for the last hour. My mother’s last text before I took off popped up on my side window of messages.

Mother: Little Jeonginnie is blowing up big now! You would be so proud of him. He’s come so far since you’ve last seen him.

Jeonginnie?? I remembered the nickname she gave him and couldn’t stop the gagging noise from escaping in the middle of standing in line to board. The woman in front of me gave me a weird look. I stared back at her, glaring until she turned back around and started walking. I grimaced at my phone before I turned it on Airplane mode and put it in my pocket. What could be so different about him now? Had he grown that much? He couldn’t be much taller. I had always been taller than him, ever since we were kids. My mother blamed my father, saying it was his side of the family that gave me such a…problem. But I didn’t mind. It made it easier to scare off the boys I didn’t like. It also made it harder to find ones I did like that weren’t intimidated but… whatever. This was the way it had always been.

My mom has been looking forward to this day since I left, crying on the phone that she was ‘so excited to have her baby home again’ that I was sure she would chain me to the kitchen sink to prevent me from leaving again. She claimed the house hadn’t been the same since I left, and by the looks of it, it was obvious. It was missing its usual…lived-in charm that I had apparently brought to it. The pillows were too erect, too fluffed. The kitchen counter was too clean, not a stain nor trace of midnight ramen seasoning on the counter. It wasn’t quite…home. It was a space for my parents to entertain. Which is exactly how I ended up face to face with Jeongin in my living room, arms wide open and looking like… a man.

He was tall now too. His hair was blonde now and styled, even on his day off. It looked good. And his arms had filled out, no longer the sticks they used to be. Someone had gotten him into working out. Must be his older members… At least his smile was the same. Bright as ever, he stumbled over towards me and threw his arms around me with all his might.

“Noona! You’re back! I can’t believe you’re back, I never thought I’d be home to see it.” His dimples showed so deep that I didn’t realize how much I had missed the sight of them. They were the kind you could swim in, the kind you wanted to roll out like they were made of dough. Which explained why his fans and members called him Baby Bread. His whole face was squishy just like it had been when I left. Except now, the rest of him wasn’t nearly as squishy. It made me second guess myself a little too much. I shook my head, trying to shake the thought.

“Yeah yeah yeah. I came back because I saw you all over the internet, even over in America! What could you possibly be doing over there?!”

“It’s my band! We’re going everywhere now, I can’t stand to believe it sometimes. I still have a hard time believing it. But you’re finally back from school! How was your last year?! Tell me everything!”

Thus began a very long and tiring story of my senior year of college, everything from the parent-safe topics like classes and academics and American friends I made until our mothers left for the kitchen to make dinner. Then we moved onto the not so safe for parents ears, such as the hookups, the drama, and all of the bullshit that went down without my mother’s knowledge. He laughed when he was supposed to, he nodded at appropriate times, it was like he was using his media training on me and I couldn't help but laugh. He was mid-question and he stopped to tilt his head.

“What? What’s so funny?” He smiled again when I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help it. You’ve gotten very good at listening. If I remember correctly, you weren’t able to sit still and listen to me say more than three sentences at a time.”

“That’s because you learned how to tell an interesting story. College was good for something!” That dazzling smile emerged again and I was thinking those weird thoughts again. It wasn’t that I had thoughts of possibly liking him, it was just that the thought of it didn’t repulse me like it once did. It puzzled me.

“Yeah yeah yeah. So tell me about your group! What’s everyone like? Is it true what they say online about you guys?”

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve seen so I don’t know whether to say yes or no.” He laughed and sat back in his chair. “But things have been going really well! We’re starting up our tour right now, we have our first stop in two days in Seoul. You should come! I want you to meet everyone.” I’d read a little about them while on the plane, just to take a peak at what my friend had been up to in the years I’d been gone. There were eight of them now, and they all brought something special to the group, at least according to Stay, their fans. I knew who was who and that was about it. It was like I had met them already. “Come on, Noona. You can meet everyone tomorrow if you want to, before the concert. Auntie can come too.” I looked at him with wide eyes and hit his leg when he started to crack up.

“You are not funny, Yang Jeongin.”

His inhaling laughter told me he thought otherwise.

Strolling by our favorite cafe, the memories came back to me in waves. Between Jeongin cracking jokes about people who were walking by and me trying to keep him from wandering into the street. Our relationship had shifted constantly from friends to siblings of sorts. Being an only child hadn’t provided a lot of opportunities for the older sister types of activities I had itched for so I happened to find them with Jeongin. Everything I had dreamed about being an older sister, I had with him. It helped me feel…complete somehow.

Jeongin thought later that it would be better if I met some of the members little by little. But then I recieved a text countering that idea, stating that the when the others heard what was happening, they jump in the car bfore he could protest. He decided that he wanted to bring us all here, a place of comfort to me and somewhere he’d always wanted to bring them. He had told me the ones he lived with were the ones that would really test how I would get along with the rest of them since they were the ones who were ‘harder to read’ or something. I didn’t know which ones were the ones he lived with, only knew their names and faces in the group. I wondered if I’d need to do anything special to impress them or being my simple self would do. Jeongin told me to just be myself, but if these guys were anything like him, they didn’t really care who I was. They probably had people fawning over them constantly so maybe as long as I acted like I didn’t care, it might turn out in my favor. Not that I really cared if they liked me, but it’s always nice to make friends.

Walking up to the place I saw them all sitting at a table just chatting, like they were just regular people. They all had hats on, some backwards, and a mix of tshirts and sweats and jeans. One that I recognized, Lee Know, had his hat on backwards and his blonde hair was peeking out. It was then that I realized what Stays were talking about with him; he was prettier in real life. Like, a scary kind of pretty.

Felix on the other hand, was an ethereal kind of pretty with a soft exterior to balance Lee Know’s sharp features. It was a quick reveal to why they called him sunshine. Even with his dark hair, he radiated warmth and empathy. Like you could tell him anything and he would do everything in his power to help or just to listen. His hat was on sideways, like the boy next to him had moved it and he just hadn’t changed it back.

The boy next to him had his hat on straight. I gathered that one was Seungmin because of his baseball t-shirt. Stays knew he loved baseball, saying he would’ve become a baseball player if he hadn’t chosen this path in life. He was the only one watching me walk up to them, catching my eye and staring holes into my head. I didn’t drop his gaze, having the gut feeling that he was watching me for a reason. I just couldn’t point a finger as to why.

Right at the perfect moment, Jeongin turned around to see me approaching, his broad smile only growing wider.

“Over here!” He was waving me over to the empty seat beside him and Chan, a plate in front of it with a croissant on its center. A glass full of cream-colored liquid was placed in front of that empty seat, waiting for me. He still knew some things about me, proving the years of friendship withstood the idol training I was sure he went through. It didn’t break the kindness in him.

His smile didn’t fade the closer I got. In fact, I would argue that it got bigger and brighter, only matched by Felix’s with his blonde hair shining in the sun. They all stood when I finally approached the table, awaiting formal introductions from Jeongin.

“Everyone, this is my childhood best friend. She just moved back from the States and she’s coming to the show tonight so we have to do our best for her.” He was still beaming even after he finished, and all the boys took their turns introducing themselves in order around the table. Seungmin was the last, confirming my suspicion that he was the one that was seated beside me. He said his name, not quite smiling or even a polite grimace like Lee Know had. No, he was just staring at me with wide eyes.

“Do I have something on my face?” I whispered to him, trying to break free of his glare. He shook his head.

“No.” And with that he sat back down, staring at his mug with a slight rosy blush creeping along his cheeks.

Well that was simple enough. I sat back down in the chair and reached for the glass in front of me. “Thanks for ordering for me, I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I was just hoping that your tastebuds hadn’t changed. You’ve been abroad now, you could have acquired an American tongue.”

“Nope, still the same old same old for me. I’m not so easily influenced by others, Innie, you know this.”

“This is true.” He turned to the others. “She once had the whole class trying to tell her that she had something in her hair and she refused to believe it until someone held up a mirror for her!” He started laughing, reliving the memory. The rest of the group chuckled along with him. Then Chan spoke up.

“So what was Jeongin like in school? We only know a little bit, but what was he like as a kid?”

“Oh he was something else. Some days he would be the best little angel ever and others, he would be bouncing off the walls. I never knew what kind of friend I was getting each day. He was a wild card.” I smiled back at Jeongin. “But he’s better now. Now he’s all grown up and singing and dancing with you guys. It's fun to watch.”

“I can’t wait to hear what you think about the show tonight.” The short, dark-haired one, Han, piped up excitedly. “We’ve been working on it for a while. I’m just excited to show Stay. They’re going to love it.”

“Stay is-”

“Your fan base. I know. I might have done some research on the plane ride back.” Jeongin nodded, impressed.

“What else did you find in your ‘research’?” Hyunjin asked. Stay was right, he was prettier in person. Pictures didn’t do him justice. Pictures didn’t do any of them justice.

“Oh, this and that. I saw something about you being a painter and Chan doesn’t sleep.”

“That about sums me up.” Chan laughed, Hyunjin along with him nodding. “What else did you find?”

“Let’s see… Lee Know-” The boy perked up, now listening closely. “-seems cold but cares the most. Also a great dancer.” Lee Know nodded. “Changbin works out a lot and is quite loud. Can’t wait to find out if that’s actually true or not.”

��It is.” Jeongin rolled his eyes. I laughed.

“Han is also loud but very funny. And Felix is the cuddle bug.” Felix nodded along with Han.

“Stay knows us pretty well.”

“And Seungmin…” I paused, not knowing which Stay fact to bring up first. Seungmin was watching me think, like he could watch all of the thoughts going around and around in my head. It was almost like a challenge. “Seungmin is a mystery. He can rap but he doesn’t unless asked. Stay is waiting for a rap part for him, by the way. He’s a ‘quiet-carer’, like Lee Know. And he says some of the most out-of-pocket stuff anyone has ever heard, making him hilarious as well.” Seungmin’s lip twitched, cracking into a smirk.

“You’ve got it.” He continued smirking, watching my lips move as I spoke. They flickered between my eyes and the other features of my face. It was like I was hypnotized. I couldn’t look away from his features, his eyes locking on mine and watching my every move. I felt my heart beating against my chest bone, hitting it in time with every second that passed by. And then, all of sudden, it stopped beating altogether. And then it was just us. We weren’t outside anymore, it was real-life tunnel vision. He watched me and I watched him just looking at each other.

And then a sharp cough from somewhere in the distance.

Seugnmin broke the contact first, looking everywhere to find where the sound that dare interrupt our moment had come from.

Jeongin had let out one of his signature grandfather coughs again, his eyes wide open watching me and his band mate.

“I don’t think Seungmin-hyung is that mysterious. And I live with him. Just stay out of his stuff and you’ll be fine.” The boys nodded in agreement, not paying attention to their younger members. “That’s a little tougher for some than others.” He let out another pointed cough.

“It was ONE TIME.” Felix exclaimed, righteous with indignation and the others bursted out laughing, including Seungmin. I couldn’t help but notice his cheeks pushing up to his eyes when he laughed for real, as opposed to his chuckle earlier while talking to me directly.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

This place was packed, people of all ages everywhere in various colorful outfits and carrying lightsticks were bouncing all over the place on their way out of the stadium. Girls running to the merchandise lines after the show to grab whatever was left, older moms peering over the crowd to find whomever they were looking for, and venue staff were scattered all around the place, the energy from the concert still setting the place abuzz.

The show was amazing. I didn’t realize how talented Jeongin was. I knew he would go far in whatever he decided to do in life, but I never knew how far he was really going. It was palpable; the boys loved him. All of them. The way they teased him was reminiscent of how I teased him growing up. He really found a family in all of them. I was happy for him, really.

I watched off to the side in clear view of all of them surrounded by some very passionate fans, bound to get rowdier as the boys kept making their way over. Jeongin made sure to shout me out in his speech in the beginning, saying that he was so excited to perform in front of his childhood friends so as not to make it too obvious who I was. Seungmin found me almost immediately because he was dancing near my side. It was just like earlier; my eyes were drawn to him. The way his body moved, I couldn’t help but watch him even if I was supposed to be watching all of them. My excuse to Jeongin would be that he was the only one right in front of me, but I knew the truth.

He was doing it on purpose. There was no way he wasn’t. Because everytime he came over my way, he found me again and waved to everyone around me. There was a small voice in the back of my head that was telling me it was meant for me. Or it could have been the smirk that followed his big smile while he waved to everyone around me. While he may not have been looking directly at me when he got over to my side, he was definitely staring me down when he walked away and I watched him until his attention was elsewhere. The more he walked over to our side, the more the fans around me jumped and waved their arms, trying to get anyone’s attention from the stage. When they waved their arms, they narrowly missed my head, sometimes knocking me and causing me to stumble into someone else beside me. Some of these fans are nuts. These hits didn’t go unnoticed by Seungmin though. The way his face fell when they bumped into me caused his big smile to falter, sending the corners of his mouth downwards. The joy on his face disappeared as he stared in our direction, not taking his eyes off our section. He didn’t walk away until I stood back up and returned my attention to him.

Weirdo.

I was waiting near the stage until a burly man wearing a Stray Kids t-shirt came in and waved me over to take me backstage. Down the dark hallway lit by the same fluorescent lights as the main stage was by now, I spotted a taller figure with dark hair leaning on the wall a ways away from us. He was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt from what I could tell while being so far away. As we drew closer, he spotted us as well and stood straight, coming to stand right in front of me. He smirked again, just as he had all night long but there was no malice coming from it. No, it was just a mild curiosity. He opened his mouth, possibly to say something snarky as his smirk suggested but just then, Jeongin appeared coming out of a door to our right.

“Noona! What did you think? Were we any good?” Jeongin smiled brightly, eyes excitedly flicking from one to the other and back again, trying to find my answer. He reached for me, his hand grabbing mine quicker than I could realize what exactly he was reaching for. Seungmin’s gaze darted straight to where our hands connected and his stare could’ve started a fire. If looks could kill, I wouldn't have wanted to be Jeongin at that moment. His deep brown eyes had lost their warmth, void of any playful sparkle I had seen until now as Jeongin dragged me into their dressing room.

Next thing I knew, I found myself sitting on the Stray Kids Tour bus on the way back to the hotel for the night instead of in my car, heading back home. And somehow, Seungmin had found himself sitting beside me. Jeongin had escorted me onto the bus, but Seungmin had taken advantage of Jeongin going through his bag of belongings in another section of seats and slid in to occupy the one next to me. I just stared at him, Jeongin unaware of what had just occurred as he continued to shuffle through his bag.

“You’re in my seat.” was all Seungmin said to my stare.

“So that means you have to sit as close to it as possible?”

“Yes.” And then he put his headphones on. I suspected he used this to avoid Jeongin’s questions because he had just put his bag away. I looked up just in time to see him look confusedly as Seungmin, who had his eyes glued to his phone now. Jeongin looked at me and I shrugged. He did the same and sat in the seat directly in front of me, lightly chuckling. I leaned forward, trying my best to ignore Seungmin’s thigh that was dangerously close to mine.

“Why is he sitting next to me?”

“I don’t know. He’s a weird one.”

“He said I was sitting in his seat.” Jeongin’s brows furrowed.

“He doesn’t sit there. He sits near the front most times.”

I sat back in my seat, bewildered. I nudged Seungmin’s arm until he took his headphones off and when he did, he raised his eyebrow at me.

“You don’t sit here. What gives?”

“I’m waiting for you to figure it out.” He said with another smirk, a permanent feature around me.

I sat back, stunned and taken aback. He just placed his headphones back on his ears, satisfied with his answer and returned to his phone.

This was going to be a fun ride.

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shhh-secret-time · 1 month

Text

Kenny McCormick

27 y.o (He/They)

Soul Synergy: Flowers grow on your skin wherever you soulmates been injured.

Headcanons:

¤ The only reason he's able to go to college is because of Kevin.

》 Kevin goes into the military as soon as he can, since then he's put money to the side for Kenny and Karen

¤ Kenny still works multiple jobs at a time to give back. Feels like he can't just accept the money

¤ He didn't actually go into college until he was old enough to adopt Karen, he couldn't leave her behind

¤ Going for Robotics/Mechanical Engineering

》 I always saw Kenny as the kind of guy who is a savant at things he cares about, so even though he's not a great test taker he's phenomenal in the field

》 He's the kinda guy that stays up until three in the morning going down the Wiki rabbit hole. Next time someone hangs out with him he's going on about snail facts.

¤ If he ever does find the time to himself he spends it on his car.

¤ Bought an old police car from the scrap yard and has been working on it since

¤ Once he gets it up and going he uses it for street racing, earns a little extra cash that way

¤ Absolutely does everything in his power to keep Karen away from that scene

》 She eventually finds out and starts going to watch his races, cheering her brother on

》 His number one fan (I'm crying)

¤ Keeps his parents at an arms length. To the point they don't even know where Kenny and Karen moved to

¤ When Kevin comes home they visit him often. The siblings get together for holidays, birthdays, and breaks.

¤ They moved into the same apartment complexes as Stan and Kyle. They're upstairs neighbors

¤ Will jump down from his balcony to theirs when he comes over, instead of using the front door like a normal person

¤ It isn't until he starts street racing that he joins Stan's board game nights. Now that he's got the extra time

¤ Loves DnD night, but he's the kind of player that's absolutely silly. Has lost two characters already

》 Is the best role player at the table! Has made the table burst into tears over the death of his characters

》 Makes these dorky guys and then makes you fall in love with them.

》》 Definitely flirts with his friends, claims it's in character.

¤ He'll drive Karen anywhere she wants to go until she gets her license. He doesn't want to be her parent but he can't help but worry

¤ Started using mint/candy tins to keep his stuff in. They fit in his pockets easier

¤ His phone is cracked to hell, but he doesn't really care. As long as he can see the screen well enough and make calls it's fine

¤ He collects bottle caps, he doesn't know when it started but he likes picking them up and turning them into pins.

》 In the tin: pair of headphones, chapstick, lighter, a note from Karen, stickers, and a really cool rock he found

¤ Probably has another tin that has sewing supplies, he still has a habit of sewing things back together rather than getting rid of them

¤ His Heelyz are his favorite pair of shoes. He wears them every time he's about to race, says they bring him good luck

》 They were a Christmas gift from Stan, it's the only reason he owns them

¤ Usually has rags covered in oil or grease tucked in his pants, the chain on his pants has little charms. Things Karen has made him and keys.

¤ He had three piercings on the shell of his ear, but when Kevin left for the military he took it out and gave it to him.

》 Said he'll put it back in when his brother comes home.

¤ He's trying to stop smoking but it's a losing battle.

¤ He's still running around as Mysterion with his inability to die.

¤ The power changes as he gets older. He now wakes up wherever he deems home to be. It's not something he can choose, it's what his heart thinks home is

¤ So he wakes up on the couch of his little living room, Karen sleeping in her room.

¤ His body reverses back to when he first got his Soul Synergy

¤ Kenny doesn't get his Soul Synergy until he's in his late twenties.

¤ Doesn't really know why it took so long for it to show up but he's not complaining

¤ I don't think he freaks out when he first sees plants push through his skin

¤ It's alarming for sure, but he just kind of looks at it

¤ It isn't until he notices the scars on his body left from the plant don't go away that he takes it seriously

¤ He tries to keep some of the plants, but he doesn't exactly have the knowledge on how to take care of some of these plants

¤ He gets a little sad when they die

¤ When he finds his soulmate he's more attentive to his body

》 Not just where the flowers grow from, but he's better at taking care of himself

¤ He can't stop being Mysterion. He knows people still need him, and he needs this, but he's not as reckless with his body.

He's sitting in class, zoning out again. Whatever the professor was going on about was a distant thought. The tired behind his eyes weighed him down. He had his head leaned back against the wall, his hood pulled up to add a little extra comfort. Trying to stay awake, he's bouncing his leg. The motion doing very little to keep him awake.

But the sleepy blonde doesn't stay that way for long. The familiar feeling of plants pushing their way from under his skin up into the surface wakes him. He sits up almost in an instant when an orchid breaks the flesh, poking out of his mask. From the side of face, another one blooms and stretches out towards the sun.

No blood. But the side of his face stings, the feeling of a handprint buzzes where the petals touch.

Kenny stands up abruptly, cutting the professor off with little to no care. His hands nearly miss grabbing his bag from the way he beelines it to the door. As fast as his legs carry him, he runs out of the room leaving behind petals, leaves, and the protests of his professor.

(Here's the blank ♡ )

#south park #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #secret soulmate au #Kenny McCormick #soulmate AU #south park fanart #drabble #headcanons #reader insert #south park x reader #x reader #soul synergy #shhh its a secret

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seth-shitposts · 1 month

Text

Fbdkdbrkwdhrk3jdneknrjfhfd YALL it's been too long since I've touched a word document. Dbkdndndncbf

Anyways, I'm still heavily thinking about SoFS&V, in particularly Poison & The Grand Inquisitor. As well as Wasted Potential & Minister Tua. Ramblings below the cut-

Grand Inquisitor:

Having to do with how much he had dipped to the dark side of the force in pursuit for answers to questions unsatisfied.

I'm going to be characterizing him and his backstory in a very specific way for this au, and part of that will include how he obsessively wanted to learn more about the force, and try and find out why he had been chosen by the universe itself to have this connection that he has such a difficult time comprehending. He knows he's different in many ways, unsavory, and it's not in his control to try and feel things the way others do, so why was he chosen despite the way he seems to have been wired since the beginning.

Unable to find an answer that he understood, he began to want to press further into the archives, but was repeatedly denied. After so many straws were lost with the order, he embraced the twisted distortion of the darkside to finally try and get his answers.

And now that he's having to attempt to reverse it, it's proving to be just as challenging as he expected it to be. There's just, something different now. Something he didn't quite have in the order, where he felt like an outsider; something he didn't have nor didn't think of ever needed among the inquisitorius. A year ago, it's something he would have scoffed at, even now he has the urge to recoil from it yet still wants to allow himself to soak in it to the point of drowning himself in it.

It's so much easier to stay; he's well aware of the endless agony he submits himself to, but it's something he knows like the back of his hand and *understands*.

To return to the light though? The fact that, even with the work he has to put into dragging himself back, that the force is still calling to him for a welcoming return? Still? There's so much in that radiance that he still doesn't understand and rejects.

---

Minister Tua

Maketh is an heiress; one from a large and overly competitive family. She feels that she's had so much just handed to her on a silver platter that she has to work twice as hard to have earned it. From a young age, she was taught immense responsibility and strives to be greater than she was in the last moment.

She's aware of both her weaknesses and strengths, as well as the potential, and to desperately reach for her full potential, is always trying to limit or cover her short comings.

Like responsibility, she was never a stranger to high expectations. And with important figures in her family, all striving just as much to grow status and power, she pushed through to get herself into academies in the inner rings- first in her family to do so. Immediately after became minister of lothal, securing her and her parents' spots as the family heirs.

Where the rest of the family had looked down on him, Tua saw the strengths he had and learned just as much from him. She credits him as her inspiration for having a strong core desire to help her people. The best way for her to initiate responsibility and meet expectations- to be more and be better and make the family that gave her everything proud- was to excel in her studies and land a role in the community that would have direct and important affects.

For the first half of her life, everything she learned had been from her family and families like hers. Most of her family had the same status important, power grabbing, shark competitive mindset. Except for her uncle, who had willingly taken himself out of the running to pursue hard&honest work; a desire to support the community in a much more straightforward way.

And to have worked so much, still having failures piling on her from her shortcomings, *and* to have ended up only harming the very people she was supposed to be representing and being responsible for weighed on her.

And of all the responsibilities and duties she's ever had, taking accountability and being brave were never taught to her. And now she's figuring it out on her own and is learning to not run; to better embrace things. Though, it's easier said than done. She fights for community, to support it, but still needs to learn to be wholy and completely be part of one and be supported.

#star wars rebels #swr #SoFS&V AU #SoFS&V #the grand inquisitor #minister tua #maketh tua #sense of faith self & valor

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im-actually-a-certified-idiot · 4 days

Text

Come around for tea?

Ever since the war had ended, there was something restless within Hermione. Something that refused to be quieted. And she did not like it all.

She tried everything she could think of. Things that made her happy. Being with her parents, with Harry and Ron, with the Weasleys. Reading books, researching magic. Catching up on all missed course material (actually, that just made her stressed- the healthy thing to do would be to take a break but since when has she been that type of person?)

She suspected it had something to do with the grief that came with burying her friends, attending funerals day after day. The nightmares that plagued her every night; sometimes she was at Hogwarts, surrounded by slaughter and death. Other times, she was back at Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix's knife carving into her skin.

The war had been cruel and ruthless and harsh on her- she wasn't ignorant enough to say otherwise. But it had been just as horrible to everyone else, which is why she decided not to speak of this to anyone else. The last thing anyone needed was more problems; the Weasleys were a broken, scattered mess ever since Fred's death. She'd never gone so long without hearing any laughter in the Burrow.

Nobody seemed to notice, at first. Her parents were still busy recovering from their impromptu trip to Australia- they were furious at her (rightly) and very troubled themselves. Ron was busy drowning in his grief with the rest of his family. Even Luna and Neville were busy mourning their dead friends.

But Harry noticed. Of course he did.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quietly one day; they were sitting outside of the Burrow, on the porch. Ron had just gone up to get a pack of Exploding Snap for them all to play. "You've been...off, lately."

Hermione avoided his eyes. She didn't like lying to him- to any of her friends, really- and it was always easier if there was less eye contact. "Fine," she replied, picking at the edge of her shorts. The summer heat was beginning to take a toll on her; her legs were already growing tan. "Just tired, that's all." She wanted to ask him how he was doing, but knew he'd prefer not to be asked. Harry was the type to sit quietly in his grief, unbothered and not fussed over.

She looked back at him; his green eyes were studying her intensely, like he could tell she was lying. He wouldn't probe- that wasn't his style, she knew, especially since she was the prober of the trio- but she still felt naked under his gaze.

"You ought to do something other than read and hang out with us," he said, rather bluntly. Never one to pull his punches. "It's not healthy for someone to just spend all their time around books."

Hermione wanted to laugh. Books had been her sole comfort growing up, her passion and first love. She would never tire of it. "You sound like Ron," she said amusedly, then imitated his voice. "'Put down the bloody book, Hermione! Come play chess instead! It'll humble you!'"

Harry snorted. "He's not wrong."

Hermione swatted at him playfully. "Oh, hush."

He dodged her hands, grinning- but then his face grew serious again. "Seriously, Hermione. You need to get out and do something. Ron and I have Quidditch and chess. You need something to do."

"And what, exactly, do you suggest I do?"

To her surprise, he looked thoughtful. "I dunno. Maybe go to Diagon Alley, do some shopping. Go eat ice cream at Fortescue's. Something."

"Ice cream? You think ice cream will solve my problems?" Hermione said incredulously.

Harry shrugged. "Doesn't have to be ice cream. Can be anything you want. Just do something, you know?" He paused, casting a furtive glance behind them. The door was closed, but he lowered his voice anyway. "Look, I know Fred's dead...Lupin's dead, Tonks's dead, Moody's dead. But we can't just sit here grieving for the rest of our lives. We should- do something, you know? They gave their lives for us to be happy; only right if we oblige them."

Hermione arched her eyebrows. "Since when did you become so wise?" she asked jokingly, but secretly, she found herself agreeing with him, seeing the reasoning behind his words.

Harry smiled grimly. "Sirius," he said; it was one word, but Hermione instantly understood.

The door behind them clicked open. Ron stood in the doorway, the pack of Exploding Snap in his hands. "Alright then," he announced, yanking the door shut behind him. He plopped in between Harry and Hermione. "Got the cards, let's play a few rounds."

"Alright," said Harry, grinning; Hermione didn't miss the look he sent Ron as the redhead began to distribute the cards.

Idiots, she thought fondly, wondering when they would realize.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oi! Watch it, miss!"

Hermione winced, rubbing her shoulder, as she turned to apologize- but the rude wizard was already scurrying off in the other direction.

The last time she had been to Diagon Alley was the day she had impersonated Bellatrix, broken into Gringotts, and escaped on a stolen dragon. Needless to say, she would be avoiding the goblins for this trip.

Harry had recommended Fortescue's, but she'd never really been an ice cream person (truffles and chocolates were much better, thank you very much). So she decided to steer right, towards the clothing shops. Yes, clothes. She needed to buy more robes; her wardrobe right now was absolutely horrendous (Ginny could attest to that).

Madam Malkin's was her favorite shop (and only shop) to buy from, so she chose there to start. It was empty, except for the squat witch in mauve robes, taking someone else's measurements. The person had their hood pulled over their face, so their features were disguised, but Hermione thought they looked rather familiar.

"Hello, dear!" Madam Malkin called, straightening up to smile kindly in Hermione's direction. She'd always been an easy-natured woman (unless someone displayed signs of aggression within her shop; then she became rather scary).

"Hello," Hermione said, a little shyly. Oh, for Merlin's sake, why was she acting bashful? It was just robes. "I'll just look around for a bit." She edged away into the women's robes section; social interaction had never been her thing. People are a lot harder to read than books, she thought ruefully.

She peered within the racks, wrinkling her nose. The robes were all floral, bright colors- pretty, but not her style. She preferred something casual, less noticeable. The vast variety of colors reminded her all too much of the peacocks back at Malfoy Manor.

She decided on a pair of black robes. Simple, classic. It reminded her of her Hogwarts robes- wearing that had always brought her a sense of comfort and warmth. A feeling of home. She wasn't in school anymore, but she could still cling to the reassuring memories. Hogwarts was the only place she had ever truly she felt like she belonged.

"Hermione?"

The voice was a high-pitched squeak. Hermione turned, curiously- it was the hooded figure from before, now clutching a set of glorious purple robes.

Then the hood fell over, and she almost gasped.

She'd heard rumors of Lavender Brown's scars; she'd assumed they were all exaggerations. But now, looking at the scarred pink flesh etched all over the young girl's face, she truly believed it. Her encounter with Fenir had left her alive, but horribly marred. It was almost painful to look at her- especially when you could recall her flawless beauty in her earlier teenage years.

As if sensing her thoughts, Lavender flushed, and hastened to pull her hood back up. Hermione impulsively reached out a hand to stop her.

"Lavender! I- It's been so long," she stammered. "How are you?"

Lavender managed a meek smile. "Fine, thanks," she said, and Hermione was struck by the lack of tone in her voice. Lavender Brown had been famous for her expressive nature- loud giggles, huge smiles, narrowed glares. But now it seemed all the joy and enthusiasm had been sucked out of her. "How've you been, Hermione?"

"Oh, fine, fine," Hermione lied. "It's been a bit busy, I suppose, with all the funerals..." She trailed off and almost winced. Funerals? Really? That was the conversation topic she was going for?

Lavender, to her credit, seemed unfazed. "Yeah, same," she said quietly, and Hermione remembered she'd been close with a lot of Gryffindors who were now dead.

They stood, awkwardly, for a few moments. Then, Lavender said tentatively, "Well, it was nice seeing you-"

"Do you want to come around for tea?" Hermione blurted out.

"What?"

Hermione flushed. She wasn't sure what had prompted her to say that; maybe it was the sense of nostalgia that came with seeing Lavender. She longed for her old Hogwarts days, when her biggest troubles were passing exams and Pansy Parkinson's stupid Slytherin gang. And, dare she say it, she missed Lavender. She and Parvati had been a little annoying, sure, but Hermione had secretly liked them as dorm-mates and friends.

"Do you...do you want to come around for tea?"

Lavender stared at her, wide-eyed. It was an old expression of surprise, something that brought Hermione a sense of relief (at least she hadn't changed completely) and a sense of apprehension (had she said something wrong? Had she overstepped?). At last, a wide grin stretched across her face. "Of course!" she beamed. "What time?"

Hermione felt a strange, triumphant feeling, like she'd aced a particularly difficult spell. "Three, maybe? If that works for you?"

Lavender practically glowed. "Of course it does!" she said happily, a hint of her old self shining through. She reached over and pulled Hermione into a fierce hug; Hermione felt her whole body tingle. "See you then?"

"Yeah, sure," the brunette managed as Lavender pulled away. "I'll...see you."

----------------

Heheh hope y'all enjoyed, this fic idea's been brewing in my head for a while. Lavmione isn't a very popular ship, but I enjoy the concept very much. Please let me know if you want a part 2 :)

@urstarlitharlot i think i read a post of yours not too long ago that talked about how you love lavmione fics so come and get it

#hp #harry potter #post deathly hallows #hermione granger #lavender brown #hermione x lavender #lavmione #lavmione fic #ronarry if you squint

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skzinka · 1 year

Text

🖥 ... ⃕ WHAT'S ON STAYTUBE LATELY ?

« hey little boy. » she said as she hopped into the room, dropping onto the couch, half on jeongin.

« ouch, » he said with a laugh, moving away slightly and letting her settle on properly, « what are you doing here, uh? »

« what do you mean what i am doing here? » she pretended to be shocked, before snatching a piece of mango from the plate on the table, « where you go, i go. remember? »

chan : it's very simple. you are looking for inka? you will find jeongin at the same time.

hyunjin : they're like fake twins. they look very similar but they are also very different.

changbin : they're both adorable demons.

hyunjin : they're really always together, practically glued at the hips if you ask me.

changbin : we rarely see them far from each other. just like last night, they were both out for dinner again.

« last night's dinner was so good, » she said as she continued to eat fruit, « it's been a long time since we went out together to eat. »

« right, we are used to ordering so we don't have to go out, » inka nodded her head, « it's easier this way. », « you can just say that we are lazy. »

« we're not ! » inka cast an accusing glance at jeongin, « okay, maybe a little. but we often leave the dorm to go out together ! »

she nodded once again, bringing her legs up on the sofa, « that's right. we like to walk around and discover new places, you always follow me even when we don't have a specific destination in mind. which is surprising. »

jeongin tilted his head to the side, seeming to silently ask her why this remark, « because you're more the type of person who wants to go out knowing exactly where you're going, and i'm the free butterfly type who goes out without necessarily knowing what direction to take. », « ahh yes, you're right. i like to know where we are going but with you, i don't really mind. »

lee know : jeongin listen to inka a lot, every word she says, he records it. and it's the same for her.

felix : they're really close, they talk about everything together, and they do not hide from each other what they feel.

seungmin : right. i think jeongin is the only person who has ever seen inka really cry.

han : inka is very quiet when it comes to talking about her feelings, but she tells jeongin absolutely everything.

« i think you are the only person who has ever seen me in all my states. » she declared while playing with the cushion she had in her arms, « mh, what about lua noona? », « well.. the only one in stray kids. »

« you don't talk about what you feel easily, » he said as she agreed with his words, « at first you were just holding it all in and isolating yourself. it was very bad for your mental health. », « yes i know. with hindsight now i realize that. but it's mostly because i don't want to worry anyone. »

« but it's by doing this that people are worried about you. plus, i know you, and i know that you always put everyone before yourself. chan hyung does this too. » inka gave jeongin a sorry little smile, « now, you have to learn to think a little more about yourself. », « i will try, i promise. » they made a pinky promise before laughing together.

hyunjin : during a day off period, inka couldn't go back to thailand, so jeongin invited her to his house.

changbin : oh that's right, inka didn't know if she should accept or not, until jeongin's mother personally asked her on the phone to come.

chan : she was so embarrassed to have disturbed his mother, that she almost forgot her suitcase.

changbin : she can be really clumsy sometimes.

« when i came to your house during our day off, i was so touched by the kindness of your parents. they were so adorable. » jeongin nodded as he moved slightly closer to her, « my mom likes you a lot, she told me that you were a real ray of sunshine. »

« oh really? we got along very well right away. », « right right. she often asks me how you are and when you will come back. » inka began to play mechanically with jeongin's fingers, « oh really? i should visit them one of these days. »

« it was great to have you home. you got along with everyone, and the atmosphere was more lively. we did a lot of outings in town. what was your favorite place? » inka pretended to think before smiling widely, « probably that family restaurant we all went to together. with your brothers and your parents. »

« oh right, you met my big brother that day. » inka bent down to grab two mangoes, giving one to jeongin, « yes, and he's so cool by the way. », « more than me? », a mocking laugh escaped from her lips, « of course. » and jeongin hit her lightly, both ending up laughing heartily.

felix : inka is the kind of person who stresses a lot and takes all the blame on her shoulders.

lee know : you're right. if something goes wrong, she takes all the responsibility for it, even when she can't help it.

seungmin : jeongin helped her a lot to slow down this bad habit.

han : he soothes her in a way. despite the fact that he is younger than her, he has always looked after her.

felix : the simple fact of seeing jeongin is enough to make her come back to her senses and not panic, he allows her to think of a solution.

« i always feel better when you are near me, » she said, staring at the ground, « i feel reassured, calm and confident. just seeing you makes me focus on anything and everything. »

« oh really? », « mh, like an appeasement. it's always been like that anyway, since day one. » a laugh left jeongin's lips and he camouflaged himself behind his hands, « our first meeting was somewhat.. interesting. »

« i mean.. it was hilarious. », « it wasn't hilarious for my shirt that got covered by pumpkin soup. » inka imitated the boy, hiding behind the cushion, « oh please i was so embarrassed that day. it was my first day at the agency, and i wasn't sure how the refectory worked, so i just had some soup and you unfortunately got in my way. there was not a single drop left in my bowl, it was a complete mess, even your face had soup on it. i tried to apologize but i couldn't pronounce the korean words well. »

« you almost said some bad words to me. », « oh gosh right.. but at least, it wasn't worse than my first meet with jisung.. » jeongin nodded his head sharply, « what happened again? even though he already told me about it, i think.. », inka picked a fruit before laughing, « we shoved each other violently and i was so angry that i insulted him in thai. »

chan : when inka joined stray kids, it was not easy for her, but jeongin always supported her.

changbin : he never left her side and refused to let her go out alone.

hyunjin : she spent sleepless nights brooding, but jeongin always managed to calm her down.

changbin : they both have this protective aura towards each other.

« do you remember the week after i debuted with stray kids? » jeongin nodded, suddenly becoming more serious, « it was an extremely difficult time. »

« it was really not simple. i was terrified and desperate. i was in a very bad mental state and i wanted to stop everything, give up my dream and go back home. i spent entire nights without sleep, isolating myself and working relentlessly to get everyone to accept me in the group, » inka sniffed softly, urging jeongin to hold her hand firmly in his, « all this seemed insurmountable to me, i felt like i would never get anywhere, that i would never do anything right. but in the end, if i was able to get out of it, it's partly thanks to stray kids' members and especially you. »

jeongin looked up at inka, offering her a compassionate and radiant smile, « you told me that my voice reassured you, » a laugh left his mouth, « you took my hand in yours and i blushed so hard that day, but i stayed with you the whole time. »

« ahh right, and this is still the case today. hearing any sound from you makes me feel better, your laughter is a serotonin boost. » inka did not hide the growing smile on her lips as she looked up at jeongin, « all this to say, thank you jeongin. for helping me get out of this hell and always keeping you by my side even when i am hellish. you never let go of my hand and that helped me a lot. »

jeongin took their hands out from under the cushion, showing that they were well joined, « we will always be there for each other, » she nodded gently, ignoring the reddened tips of the younger man's ears, « but, let's move on to another topic or we'll get so cheesy we won't talk to each other for three days. » they ended up laughing together while instantly moving away from each other.

lee know : they almost never argue, it is extremely rare.

han : mh, i think it's because they know each other extremely well, they know exactly how the other will react to certain situations.

felix : so they make sure to choose the right words and not to go too far to avoid getting unnecessarily angry.

seungmin : even when they argue, they stay glued to each other.

han : it's impossible to separate them.

« i don't remember us ever having an argument, » said inka with a pout on her lips, « i don't think i ever yelled at you. »

jeongin shrugged his shoulders and thought, « i think there is only one time, when we really had a fight. », « oh? when? », « when i left the dorm without telling you and you looked for me everywhere because i didn't answer the phone. you even looked for me in the whole agency. »

« oh you're right, i was so angry that day. » jeongin nodded in agreement, « you were scary. », « i was worried as hell ! »

« you yelled at me so much that night that we ignored each other all night. i was so pissed. » inka approached jeongin, laying her head against his shoulder, « you were so young back then, i was afraid that something had happened to you, and in the end, i felt so bad that we ended up talking all night together. »

« it was the real beginning of our friendship, we promised to tell each other everything from that day on. » inka nodded as she sat back down properly, « since that day, everything has always gone well between us, and we are closer than ever. »

« i'm glad you yelled at me that day, thanks to this we were able to get closer and you never treated me like a child again. », « thanks to my bad temper, you are a responsible adult who no longer forgets his phone at home when he plans to go away for the day. »

changbin : they don't like physical contact, but when it's the two of them it doesn't matter.

chan : they know each other by heart.

hyunjin : jeongin knows inka's tastes in everything, he retains every little detail about her.

changbin : inka can tell what jeongin is thinking just by looking at him, he is like an open book to her.

hyunjin : oh right. sometimes, we are all silent in the living room, then suddenly inka shouts "innie!", then she goes on to say "no, we won't be eating noodles again tonight.", and he's like "why" with a sad face, and we look at them thinking that they communicate by telepathy.

chan : it happens very often.

changbin : they're terrifying.

« thank you for always being with me after all these years, thank you for always taking care of me and understanding how i feel. i keep our friendship deep in my heart and i intend to cherish it for a long time to come. i don't want to sound cheesy, but you are very important to me. i don't think i could have accomplished what i have if you hadn't been by my side. »

« you're really cheesy. » he said with a childish disgusted look, « it's all because of you. you make me soft. », « eww, disgusting. » inka ends up pushing him gently and laughing.

« i'm grateful for everything you have taught me and everything you have given me, having you by my side is very precious to me. no one knows me better than you, and i hope it will stay that way for a long time. »

« how cute, little baby innie. » inka nodded, a huge smile on her lips that clearly copied jeongin's, the latter drawing the girl into his arms by himself. « let's take some pictures together. »

inka's message for i.n : innie! thank you for supporting me every day and being my best friend, i love you a lot ♡ xx

i.n's message for inka : inka noona, let's continue to have a good time together, even when we don't feel well. i'll always look after you, okay? love you ♡ xx

« 2 kids room, » says inka in a cheerful way, « inka, i.n ! » continued jeongin in the same way.

✧⠁taglist : @kurosism @writerblock-sucks @mynameisnotlaura @alyszaen @felixsbrat

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kaylawritesfics · 2 years

Note

you might be really tired of writing these, but the hc for coming out as bi to the older kids were so cute that i was wondering if you could do the same for the younger kids?

note: i did this in a platonic relationship kind of way !! hope that’s okay !! :) also i think this is pretty neutral as to what you’re coming out as so everyone can read it !!

Coming Out To The Younger Stranger Things Kids

headcanons

Will Byers:

Literally the most supportive kid oh my god !!

He’s obviously questioning his sexuality as well so he’d ask you a ton of questions !! He may overstep just a bit but he means well and he’s only trying to get a better understanding.

He’s really glad that you came out to him. It makes it much easier to eventually come to terms with his own sexuality since he knows somebody is going to support him !!

He lets you know how proud he is of you !! Literally he couldn’t be more proud.

Eleven:

She’s so confused omg. She really wants to understand so please take some time to explain to her sexuality and stuff like that !!

She’s very, very open-minded !! She doesn’t have the same prejudices that the rest of the world has so you could literally tell her that you killed a man and she would support you !!

When she finally understands what you’re talking about, she really begins to self reflect and she looks at the world a little differently !!

She asks a lot of questions and you’d definitely have to explain to her that it’s supposed to be a secret but she’s very supportive and loving !!

Dustin Henderson:

He thinks it’s pretty cool?? Literally nothing you say could change how he sees you because he thinks that you’re like the coolest person in the world.

He looks up to you a lot and he lets you know how proud he is of you !! The two of you would probably end up having a deep conversation about the world.

Totally confidential !! He pinky swears that he won’t tell a single, solitary soul.

He would probably make little jokes, but only if he knew you were comfortable with it. It’s all lighthearted and fun and he would never want to actually hurt your feelings.

Max Mayfield:

She’s absolutely the best !!

She’s so excited for you and is unbelievably grateful that you trust her enough to tell her !!

She would make you a gift !! Like a homemade card, a mixtape, or some cupcakes or something !!

She’s so supportive and she wants you to feel so loved !! If anyone gave you shit, she would literally beat their asses !! She’s very protective after you come out to her.

Lucas Sinclair:

He’s pretty cool about it too !! He loves you and there’s nothing you could say that could get him to change his opinion on you.

He would definitely work with Max to make you some type of gift !!

He would never treat you any differently at all !! He wants to make sure that you feel safe and comfortable at all times so he’s very conscious about the things he says and does.

He’s very loving and he makes sure that you know that you have people on your side at all times !!

Mike Wheeler:

He’d honestly take a little longer to come around to it, just because it goes against everything his parents have ever taught him.

He loves you though and once he realizes that he’s being a little bit of am asshole, he’d apologize and probably give you a very awkward hug.

After that, he would always have your back !! If anyone ever gave you a hard time, he’d be there with a snarky comment ready to go.

He’d ask a few questions and he’d probably really start to reflect on his own sexuality and how he feels about himself.

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 years

Text

Rock Bottom

Summary: Jonathan finds you out by the quarry after discovering the cuts on your wrist.

Pairing: Jonathan Byers x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: major talk/description of self-harm, cutting and depression.

A/N: Look after yourselves first guys. If this triggers you, please don’t read this.

I have posted an Eddie Munson, Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington version of this already. Please comment other characters you’d like to see because ‘Rock Bottom” is becoming like a same fic but different comfort characters kinda thing

The thing with depression is that it has a floor. A rock bottom. And finding that floor is like a blessing in disguise.

When you hit it, that rock bottom, nothing can get any worse. Life is as shitty as it can possibly get. It feels like you should stay down, to just wallow in that misery, but you find a reason to get up.

You always find a reason to get back up, no matter how hard it is.

Whether it's your parents you get up for, maybe it's a pet, a friend or maybe it's just for the sake of finding out what happens tomorrow. But, you get back up. You always get back up.

Lately though, it's been harder than usual.

"Hey, sweetie." Joyce greeted when you walked through the front door of the General Store.

She was leaning against the counter with a bright smile despite seeming very bored due to most her regular customers now shopping at the new Starcourt Mall across town.

You gave her a friendly wave before ducking down into the medical supply aisle and grabbed a couple bandages. You paused for a second, mustering up a smile before walking back to Joyce.

"Morning, Joyce. Just these ones thank you." You said, placing the bandages on the counter.

"Of course, that'll be six fifty." She replied, placing the bandages in a small paper bag. "Did someone at home get hurt?"

"Oh, no, no. Just stocking up our first aid kit." You easily lied with a smile that you knew didn't reach your eyes.

Joyce's brows furrowed a little as she looked over at you, seeing straight through the lie.

"You doing okay?" She asked, her voice turning soft but serious and you nodded. "Y/N-"

"I'm fine. Promise."

It was clear that Joyce wasn't buying it. She had become like a second mother to you ever since you and Jonathan had started dating. She knew nearly everything about you, the two of you had become close, but she didn't know about the scars across your thighs or fresh cuts under your sleeve.

The bell on the door ringed as another customer walked into the store, stopping Joyce from asking any more questions.

"Oh, hey, honey." She called out, looking over your shoulder at the customer. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot your lunch this morning. Thought I'd drop it off."

You froze recognising that voice instantly.

It was Jonathan Byers.

You and Jonathan had been dating for a few months now. Joyce wasn't too sure about it at first. She knew your family didn't have the best reputation in town, but she quickly warmed up to you when Jonathan first bought you home. She treated you like a daughter and Will practically referred to you as his sister. It was nice.

Jonathan was a sweet guy. A little shy and sometimes dorky, but in a cute way. He was unlike anyone you had ever met, but you had been avoiding him lately. You didn't want Jonathan to see you like... like this.

Sure, you could fake it. Put on a bright smile, and laugh, and joke, and pretend everything was fine. You've been doing that for years, but you were just so exhausted. It was easier to avoid him rather than pretend that everything was okay.

Taking a deep breath, you masked your expression and turned around to find Jonathan walking through the doors, his face lighting up when he spotted you.

"Hey, baby."

You smiled, "hey, Jon."

He walked over to you, cupping the side of your face with his hand before kissing you gently. For the first time all week, you found yourself genuinely smiling as you kissed him back.

"I haven't seen you around lately." He said, pulling away, his hand falling to your shoulder. "You're not, like, avoiding me or anything, are you?"

"No, no, no. Of course not. Just got some shit going on. Been busy."

You could feel Joyce eyeing you cautiously from the counter, but you kept your attention focused on Jonathan.

"You sure?" He asked hesitantly. "I-I haven't done anything wrong, have I? If I have, just tell me and I-"

"Jonathan, you haven't done anything wrong." You hurriedly reassured, stopping his worried words. "I've just been busy."

He didn't seem to believe you and you knew he was going to try and push the subject. But, you were in no mood to talk about it.

So, you turned back to Joyce who quickly looked away, acting as if she hadn't been watching the whole thing. You rolled your eyes and placed a few bills on the counter and grabbed the paper bag.

"I just came to buy these. Have a good day, Joyce."

She nodded, "you too, Y/N."

You glanced back at Jonathan and gave him a gentle smile. "I should get going. I'll see you later."

Not waiting for a response, you turned and walked out the store, making a beeline for your car that was parked out the front.

"Y/N, wait." Jonathan called out and suddenly his hand was grabbing your wrist, stopping you.

You let out a pained hiss as his fingers grasped your sleeve. The fresh cuts beneath pulsing in pain and you were pretty sure one was starting to bleed again.

"Shit. Sorry, sorry, are you okay?" He asked, instantly letting go. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

He hadn't grabbed you hard. If it weren't for the cuts, it wouldn't have hurt at all. Jonathan was never violent, especially not with you.

If anything he was overly gentle, always afraid that he might hurt you by accident, despite you constantly reassuring him that you weren't some fragile piece of glass.

Although, right now, that was exactly what you felt like.

A fragile piece of glass. Glass that was already cracked and damaged, and on the verge of shattering at the slightest touch.

"You okay?"

You realised that you had taken too long to answer and quickly nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You knew your voice didn't sound convincing, but you gave him a reassuring smile anyway. Jonathan stared at you for a moment, those beautiful brown eyes full of worry.

"Why are you wearing a hoodie? It's like 85 degrees out."

Shit.

"Uh, I've been inside most the day. Didn't realise it was so hot." You lied easily with a shrug of your shoulders.

Jonathan didn't say anything for a few seconds, his eyes glancing down to your sleeves before an uneasy expression washed over him.

"Show me your arms."

You blinked in surprise, "w-what?"

"Your arms. Show me your arms." He said again, taking a step forward.

"Uh, no." You said, simultaneously taking a step back. "Why?"

Jonathan sighed, "please, just show me your arm."

You held his gaze as he raised his eyebrows at you impatiently before you lift the sleeve of your right arm that you knew was bare.

"There. Happy now?" You asked, shoving the sleeve back down. "I gotta go."

"Your other arm." He quickly said before you could walk off. "Show me your other arm."

"Jonathan, I love you, but no fucking way."

"Y/N-"

"No." You snapped, hating the way your voice broke as you blinked back the tears burning in your eyes.

Fuck, why were you on the verge of crying? Hadn't you cried enough over the last few days?

"Everything okay out here?" Joyce's voice suddenly called out.

She was standing in the doorway of the store, holding the door open with her foot and looking between the two of you.

"Yeah, I was just leaving."

You were relieved to hear your voice sound semi-normal as you turned on your heels, refusing to meet Jonathan's eyes that were glued to you before you climbed into the car and sped off down the road.

The drive to the quarry was a blur, both figuratively speaking and literally because the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

You parked the car and climbed out taking in a deep shaky breath of fresh air before leaning against the hood, overlooking the quarry in front of you.

It was boiling outside now that you were sitting under the sun, so you yanked the hoodie up over your head and laid it over your lap with a heavy sigh.

The cuts along your inner arm were now in full view as you looked down in disgust. The skin was painted with a mixture of fresh and old cuts, some healed and scarred, others bright red and still bleeding sluggishly.

You covered your wrist with your hand and squeezed, welcoming the pain as the fresh cuts started to sting, but it wasn't enough.

The pocket knife in your jeans felt like it was burning against the fabric before you reached into your pocket and pulled it out.

Your hands trembled as you flicked the blade out. Dry blood still staining the stainless steel as you pressed the tip of the blade against an unmarked section of skin on your wrist.

Tears started to burn in the back of your eyes as you sliced through the skin like it was butter. Bright crimson blood instantly rose and trickled down onto the hoodie in your lap.

You watched the droplets fall. The cut stinging as the outdoor air blew against it and you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself.

The pain grounded you.

It was fucked up, you knew this was fucked up, but you couldn't stop. It was the only way you knew how to cope with everything.

You needed it. You needed the physical pain to drown out everything else, because for those few seconds with that blade against your skin, your mind was at ease. You weren't thinking about anything else, you weren't feeling anything else and you liked it.

That's how you knew you were really fucked up, because you liked it. You actually liked the pain.

The sound of a car door startled you out of your thoughts. You snapped your head towards the noise so fast, you nearly gave yourself whiplash when you saw Jonathan climbing out his Ford.

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking, fuck.

You tucked the knife back into your pocket and pressed your inner arm against the hoodie in your lap trying to hide the blood and cuts.

Jonathan walked over to you and you turned away, staring out at the quarry wishing he would just leave.

"Y/N-"

"Please, just go." You said, barely even recognising your own voice.

"And leave you here to cut yourself?" He questioned bluntly.

Yeah, you thought.

But, you didn't say that out loud though. And Jonathan didn't leave.

Suddenly his hand was on your shoulder causing you to flinch, not realising how close he was.

"How'd you know I was here?" You asked, breaking the silence.

"Mum said you liked to come here when you want to be alone."

Well, he didn't listen to the 'alone' part.

You tilted your head up at him, but he didn't look at you, his wide eyes glued to your arm that you were trying to hide, but clearly not very well.

You glanced back down and there was no mistaking the crimson stains soaking into the fabric.

"How long?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How long have you been cutting yourself? Days? Weeks?"

"More."

You didn't look at him as you spoke, not wanting to see the disappointment and pity on his face.

"Jesus Christ." He whispered to himself.

Jonathan let go, you could no longer feel his touch on your shoulder and you fought the urge to reach out and stop him from leaving.

Instead, you lifted your arms and buried your face into your hands trying to stop yourself crying.

You listened closely for footsteps on the gravel, but never heard any. Why wasn't he leaving?

A few seconds of silence ticked by before Jonathan let out a loud huff and leant down against the hood of the car beside you.

"Sweetheart, look at me."

You expected to hear him sound mad, to sound angry or pissed off, but he didn't. He sounded almost sad.

"Please. Y/N, please look at me." He practically begged.

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands from your face and glanced over at him through teary eyes and had to do a double take when you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing Jonathan on the verge of crying was all took before the flood gates opened. A violent sob escaped your lips when you cried, Jonathan's expression breaking.

"I-I'm sorry. Please... please don't hate me."

Jonathan's arm was instantly wrapping around your back, resting across your waist and pulling you into his side which just made you cry event more as you leant into him.

"No, no, baby. I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He insisted, holding you tightly.

"I'm sorry. I-I... I'm so sorry." You whimpered, burying your face against his chest.

"It's okay. Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

He kissed the top of your head gently and just held you while you cried.

Eventually, Jonathan lowered his arm and you sniffed, sitting up and rubbing your face with trembling hands, trying to calm yourself down.

He quickly pushed himself off the hood of the car and walked back around to the side door and grabbed something from inside causing you to frown in confusion before you realised what he was doing to do.

Jonathan walked back over to you with the brown paper bag from the store, but paused for a second when he got a look at your inner arm properly for the first time. A soft gasp escaped his lips and you fought the urge to pull your arm away from him.

It was too late. He had already seen it, the damage had been done.

"Shit." He swore softly under his breath.

He pulled out the bandages and pressed it against the worst of the cuts. The one you had just done still bleeding slowly, instantly staining the white bandage a deep red.

Neither of you said anything as you sat there, Jonathans hand pressing down on your arm with the bandage while you looked out at the quarry, the sun starting to set alone the horizon.

Jonathan was staring down at your arm with a frown plastered on his face which was better. A frown was better than tears. You could deal with Jonathan being mad at you. Anger you could handle.

"Did you treat them?"

His question caught you off guard as you blinked and glanced over at him, his eyes glued to your arm.

"What?"

"Did you treat them? I don't want them to get infected."

Oh. Oh.

He was worried about it getting infected. That hadn't even occurred to you, it should have, but it didn't.

Your silence was enough of an answer and Jonathan sighed before wrapping the bandage around your arm and tying it off so it was secure.

"I got a first aid kit at home. Let's go get it cleaned up." He said, pushing himself off your car and holding his hand out towards you. "C'mon."

You stared at his hand for a moment before shaking your head.

"It doesn't matter." You whispered, looking down at the ground. "I don't care if it gets infected."

"Well, I care."

"You shouldn't." You muttered quietly, glaring at a stone on the ground like it had personally offended you, instead of meeting Jonathan's eyes. "I mean, look at me. I'm fucked up-"

"You're not fucked up."

You chuckled almost hysterically and shook your head.

"I am. I know am. I'm fucked up. I'm broken, Jonathan and I-I can't be fixed. I know that, I mean who does this? And you know what the real screwed up thing actually is? I-I like it. There I said it, I like it. I like the pain and I know I need to stop, but it's the only thing that helps. The pain... the pain helps and I don't... I don't-"

"Hey, hey, breath. Y/N, just breath." Jonathan quickly said and you realised that you were in fact, not breathing.

You couldn't breath.

Shit, you couldn't fucking breath.

In the back of your mind, you were aware that this was some kind of panic attack. But, that piece of information did absolutely nothing to help as you tried and failed to get air into your lungs.

"It's okay, just breath. Copy my breathing." He said, grabbing your good hand and resting it on his chest as he took in deep and deliberate breaths. "Just copy me, okay? Deep breath in... and deep breath out."

You stared at the top button of his shirt, focusing on the small button like a lifeline while you mimicked his breathing. Jonathan continued to coach you verbally, your eyes glued to his button trying to focus and after a few minutes your breathing slowly started to even out. He kept your hand to his chest, showing no intention of lowering it before you looked away from the top button, your eyes locking with his beautiful brown ones.

"I'm... I'm sorry." You sighed. "You didn't- you didn't sign up for this. Just, go. I'm sorry."

You lowered your hand from his chest and fiddled with the bandage around your other wrist, too afraid to look at him as silent tears trickled down your cheeks.

"This doesn't change how much I love you. Y/N, hey, hey. Baby, look at me."

When you didn't move, he lifted his hand pinching your chin with his thumb and index finger and raised your head gently until you were forced to look at him.

"I'm serious. This doesn't change anything. I'm sorry I didn't realise how much you were hurting... when-when you started avoiding me, I thought I did something wrong, so I gave you some space. I didn't realise... shit, I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

You sniffed, "I didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

You shrugged your shoulders as Jonathan sighed, cupping the side of your face and brushing the tears away with his thumb gently.

"I love you, Y/N. And, next time you feel like this, don't push me away. I want to help, let me help you."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment as a fresh wave of tears surfaced at Jonathan's kindness causing his expression to soften before he pulled you into a hug.

"I just want you to be okay." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you so much, baby."

Link to Masterlist in bio

A/N-

Thank you guys for reading.

This character was specially requested and I will be doing a Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead) version of this next.

Please comment any other characters you would like to have and I will do my best.

Until next time, stay safe everyone and have a great day xx

#jonathan byers #jonathan byers fanfiction #jonathan byers x reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #charlie heaton

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luffyvace · 4 months

Note

Hi beautiful. Your writing is just so good. So as request are open I would please request Nico robin x younger brother reader(biologial) thank you so much. Got the idea from the last fic you did with boa x older brother reader. Tbh you should open commsion. Sure people will come runing to you.

AWHH HII! omg robin would be such a good big sister of course i’ll do it!! it’s no problem at all anon!!

OMG that’s the biggest compliment ever!! i’m actually starting to consider this now that i think about it..:) thanks for the idea!

you and chopper twinning fr 🤪

LOLLOL anyways enjoy 😋💗

big sister robin>>

so getting the angst over with

you had each other and no one else for some time when you two were back on ohara

robin always prioritized, protected and loved you

you were the first one that knew her personally and didn’t shove her away

the first one that stuck by her, loving her unconditionally

you two gave each other lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

as well as cuddling at night

you had a tough life since before you even hit 5

so you showed each other affection all the time to make up for the lack you should be getting from your parents

its sad you realized that at such a young age but you did

of course you had and appreciated the researchers but they weren’t family and they weren’t your parents!

you, robin and saul had good times and he taught you a lot in the short time you spend together before he died

both you and robin were confused when aokiji spared you

as sad as it is you were grateful and lost when he did, knowing you got to live on, but yet you had to do it with nothing left

if your a few years younger than robin, let’s say your 3

robin remembered your mom better than you and she always told you as much as she knew about her

she would buy you toy cars with whatever money she had when she could

she read you to sleep if your had troubles dozing off

she constantly reminded you “mommy will be back soon”

even though a piece of her told her she wouldn’t

that she’d have to step up and raise you herself

OK IMMA STOP PULLING AT YOUR HEART STRINGS NOW AND CUT TO THE FLUFF PART 😭💗💗

ok so time skip!!

robin is still just as motherly as she was back then

although now she can provide for you better!

you play lots of board games and read together

your the one person who can really get her laughing

of course she laughs with the rest of the crew, but with you? even if the joke is unfunny she’ll giggle the day away

which leads me to say she’ll do anything to keep you happy and healthy

she’s very knowledgeable and has taken care of you your entire life

so you go to her about any and everything

it doesn’t matter if it’s relevant or not she’ll listen anyway

sometimes you don’t even have to go to chopper

your tummy hurts? yeah she knows, it’s because you ate those berries she warned you about

what do you do if _____ happens?? oh just ______ that’s happened to her before

shes strong and you admire her for it

if your strong too you make a powerful duo!

devil fruit or not

shes got your back in any fights

and your the one person besides nami she won’t use as a stepping stool when climbing 😋

in fact she helps you up

if your weak or normal strength she always has a eye out for you

does you little favors all the time

need a helping hand?

😊😊😊

i’m so happy with myself for making that joke

if you spill something she’s cleaning it

if your carrying something heavy she’s helping you and supporting your weight

if your cleaning your room she’ll help you sort stuff out

“i told you to clean it a long time ago, you know, m/n”

robin lectures!:)

yup that’s my next topic

shes super motherly/big sisterly

obviously

so you get lectures and lightly scolded for not listening to the all knowing robin’s advice!

lightly, like i said. it’s still in her soothing voice

the last thing she wants is to scare you

she just wants you to listen!

”see? wouldn’t it have been easier if you just ______ like i said?”

”i told you m/n”

*face palm when you end up in a silly predicament*

*sighs and helps you out*

she gives you head pats and sometimes puts a reassuring arm over your shoulder

she gets you things she knows you’d like when she comes across them

just as she did when you were younger💞

if your feeling sad, jealous, angry, etc for any reason she knows

the most observant person on the planet has known you your whole life. 😐

she knows everything.

still kisses you atop your head every night before you got to bed

its so sweet 💖

she can definitely handle if your a more excitable person too

acts like how she does with luffy

smiles and goes along with your silly plans

she’ll help you prank people just because she loves you

but if you try to prank her she anticipates the trap and avoids it

either that or she saw you set it up in the first place, but you didn’t see her 😭

somehow she manages to get you in your own trap when you do that to her

raises her eyebrows and smiles at you knowingly to show you she knew you were trying to prank her

other times she just promises not to say anything to the victim your trying to prank 😊

sometimes leading them to the trap

if your more introverted she won’t mind if you follow her around for peace and quiet

you often read together in silence

or recommend books to each other, swapping when your done

if you get tired she’ll carry you

usually with extra arms

let’s you know when dinner is ready if your too indulged in a book

wants you to get rest when it’s your turn to watch over the ship at night

so sometimes she takes your spot

other times she’ll stay up with you to see the beautiful sunrise

tickles you to make you laugh, she likes seeing you happy

she also knows just what to do to make you smile when your feeling down

just for the record you, chopper, robin and zoro are a group!!! as well as you, franky and robin!♡

if you have a calm and cool demeanor like your older sister robin..!

the straw hats may view you as a older sibling as well

especially chopper

going to you for advice and breaking up fights,

nami will definitely use you for that second one, i must say

another thing:)

you fall asleep with your head resting on her shoulder a lot

she doesn’t move you and will sometimes pat your head or wrap an arm around you

very good at keeping still<3

puts a blanket around you too

will openly give you hugs but most the time you initiate them

i want a hug from robinn

🫂

lucky u

robin best big sister!!

I WANT ROBIN AS MYYY SISTERRRRR;(

she’s such a sweetie♥︎

as always! i hope you enjoyed, anon.

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dingusfreakhxrrington · 2 years

Note

Hi ! How are you ?

Can you write a Tom Grant x Male reader imagine where Tom goes to male reader after his break up with Ruth because he needs comfort and they are friends and reader have feelings for Tom ?

Thank you 🥺

-🦦

Maybe It's A Good Thing?

pairing: tom grant x male!reader

summary: after his tough breakup with ruth, tom confides in his friend but when they start to talk and previously locked away feelings finally begin to surface it has him questioning everything once again.

warnings: mentions of a messy breakup, mostly just angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption (cider), swearing, unrequited love

word count: 1.8k

a/n: i absolutely loved this request and i think i want to write a second part to this already…

read part 2 here

friendly reminder that comments and reblogs are just as (if not more than) important as likes!

You and Tom had been good friends from the moment he’d started working at the caravan park. You were one of the only other guys around his age and also a new start after you finished your time at school. Your parents had pointed you towards the local caravan park, convincing you that it would be like you were on holiday even though you were at work.

They weren’t entirely right about that but you enjoyed working there nonetheless. The work could be tiring but the atmosphere was always cheery in the small, lively community where everyone looked out for one another.

Tom had moved down from Derby, a total newcomer from across the country. Still, with his playful personality, he fit in almost too well. He was always up for a laugh, always smiling unless he’d had another fight with Kai although the two of them always made up soon enough.

The only trouble he ever had was the heartache of missing his girlfriend. Her parents never allowed her to come down to visit so he often had to make the journey back to Derby to see her. Long-distance was something most people couldn’t pull off but somehow they’d always made it work.

So, it surprised you when they broke up not too long after Ruth finally came down to visit. A few weeks had passed and everything seemed to be fine. Well, until Kai started saying things about her, insinuating that she was having an affair with one of the other workers.

Of course, Tom didn’t believe it at first. Not until Ruth came stumbling out of the sea, looking as though she’d almost drowned and went straight to Jade. Jade gave her her jacket and, when Tom saw, he practically pounced on Kai.

All you could do was stand there and watch, not knowing how to comfort him or calm him down because you were actually happy that Kai was right. You shouldn’t have been but you were and no matter how much guilt you felt for feeling that way, you couldn’t help it.

Tom had been in a long-term relationship from the day you met him. He was committed and very much in love with the girl. Still, that didn’t stop you from falling for him. You wished it had. You wished you didn’t have feelings for him because it would have made everything so much easier.

You’d pushed those feelings aside for years, trying to hide how you felt about him. Hell, you’d even tried dating other people but it never worked out and it never would. Not while you were in love with him. But he was in a relationship, he was happy. He was off-limits.

You knew they were arguing, you could hear them yelling. Well, you could hear him yelling. Ruth was painfully quiet and you knew she wasn’t giving him the answers he wanted. Then, you heard his front door slam shut followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. For just a moment, you considered going after him to make sure he was okay but you knew he probably needed a minute to himself to clear his head.

They’d been together since they were 15 — for three years. It would take time for him to get over it, to calm down. It wasn’t just because they had broken up or that she was leaving him for a girl but the fact that she had been going behind his back with Jade. She had been cheating on him, lying to him. Whether she was actively pursuing a relationship with Jade behind his back or not.

She hadn’t been honest with him and, as a result, she had hurt him. You’d never hurt him, never. Although you could understand her side a little. She had probably been coming to terms with her sexuality and trying to understand her feelings for Jade. Tom was all she had ever known so you couldn’t fault her for wanting to experience something more than that — to find herself.

She had just gone about it the wrong way and she hurt him when he didn’t deserve it.

For about an hour it was quiet. Everyone had gone back to whatever they had been doing before the incident and you, well, you had stayed inside your home trying to figure out what you were going to say to him in the morning — how you were going to comfort him.

Although you didn’t have as much time as you had expected when you heard the quiet tap of knuckles against your door. You didn’t expect it to be him standing there when you opened the door but there he was. His expression was dull, his eyes cast down before they slowly looked up to meet yours.

“Hey. Can I, uh, can I come in?” he asked awkwardly, his voice shaking a little.

He had been crying. You could see the red stain of tears around his eyes; the dampness that still shone on his cheeks; the way his still wet eyelashes huddled together, hugging one another.

You nodded and stepped aside, letting him come inside.

You heard him sigh as you closed the door and turned back to find him already slumped on your sofa with his head in his hands. He raked his fingers through his hair, his leg jittering up and down as you made your way over to the fridge.

“You alright, mate?” you asked as you walked back over, handing him a cider.

He gladly took the drink from your hand, shaking his head from side to side as he pushed his finger under the ring pull to open the can.

“No, mate. I’m not fucking okay.” He took a long gulp from his drink and sighed. “Sorry.”

Now you were shaking your head as you opened your drink. It fizzed a little, a small bit pouring over the top, dripping down onto your finger. You brought your lips to it, tasting the sweetly bitter liquid. “Nah, it’s cool. You’re right to be angry.”

“Yeah, but not at you.”

You chuckled, “Never said you were.”

He glanced up at you for a moment, his eyes now stoic as they met yours. He hummed and looked away again as he drank some more.

“You wanna talk about it? That’s why you’re here, right?”

He sighed again, mulling over what he was going to say as you leaned against the counter, waiting patiently for him to go on.

“I- It’s not like I didn't see it. I just… I didn’t want to see it. I love her, you know? So much and she… she just…”

“Yeah.” You cut him off, knowing he didn’t want to put it into words right now and rolled your head back as you took another swig of your cider.

“We’ve been together for years and we were happy. At least, I thought we were. I just- I don’t understand why she’d do this to me. I… I thought she loved me too.” His voice cracked and his hold on the can tightened slightly.

You hummed, unsure of what to say. It was quiet for a few moments, the two of you silently sipping at your drinks. You wanted to move closer, to sit beside him and wrap a soothing arm around his shoulders, but you were worried about overstepping.

The two of you were close friends but the only physical contact you’d ever really made was while you were playfighting. You’d never even hugged him for more than a moment and even then it wasn’t anything intimate and ended with a friendly slap on the back.

Your voice broke through the silence. “I’m sure she did, at least once. I mean, you’ve been together for so long. That shit was definitely real but maybe this is a good thing?”

He glanced over to you and scoffed, “A good thing? You really think this is a good thing?”

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean, have you ever dated anyone else? Or has it always been her? You were so young when you got together, too young to really know yourselves, let alone know what you really want.”

“What do ya mean by that?”

“I’m not saying you never loved her because I know you did. I’m just saying: do you really still love her now? Or were you just with her because you’d always been together? Were you really happy or was it just familiar? The safe option.”

You could tell he didn’t like what you were suggesting but you could also see that he was considering your words.

“Look, I loved her okay? I really, really did. But I… Fuck, I don’t know.” His fingers pushed through his curls, tugging on each lock as it passed. He was frustrated — confused.

You stood quietly, letting him think. You weren’t sure what else to say and you didn’t want to say anything to make him feel worse. All you wanted was for him to feel better, to help repair his broken heart.

After a deep breath, you moved to sit beside him and, whether he meant to or not, he leaned just a tiny bit closer to you.

“What is it you want? Look at it this way, you’re a free man now. You’re young, single and finally ready to see what the world has to offer outside of your relationship with Ruth. Outside of this shitty old caravan park even.”

When his head turned to look at you, the distance you’d convinced yourself was between you suddenly slipped away. Your eyes met his, looking into a bottomless brown. He seemed unsure, but as second after second passed he didn’t move away.

Before you knew what came over you, you were leaning in to kiss him but before your lips could meet, he quickly pulled away and jumped up off of the sofa.

“I- Um- I’m not… I’m not-” He backed away, his eyes looking everywhere, anywhere but at you.

“Tom.” You stood up after him, slowly stepping closer again as he reached back for the handle to your front door.

He turned the handle and stepped outside, only turning away when he reached the bottom of the steps. You stood in the doorway, watching as he hastily fled back to his caravan.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, feeling your eyelids drop for a moment as you went back inside, closing the door behind you.

You knew you shouldn’t have done that, even if a small part of you really thought he wanted you to. Maybe you imagined the look in his eyes, the tension in the air. Even if you didn’t imagine it and it was real, now wasn’t the time. He was confused and hurt and you knew better than to take advantage of that.

You’d give him some time and then apologise. Hopefully, you’d be able to patch things up before it’s too late. Though a part of you thought maybe it was a good thing he knew you had feelings for him now. Maybe you’d finally be able to stop pretending.

feel free to let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my taglist!

#—dinguswritings ⌕#🦦 anon #tom grant #tom grant x reader #tom grant x male!reader #tom grant x male reader #tom grant angst #tom grant make up #tom make up #tom make up x reader #requested #fanfiction #otter anon

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lyon-amore · 11 months

Text

The half of me Chapter 31

Chapter 30

The following entries from Daliah's journal show her in love with Elliot. She happy in their relationship. All she writes is how they spent time together, their dates, the dreams she had with him. Clearly she wanted them to move out of Rosenschwarz to get away from there and all the people who loved to talk bad about her behind her back. But it was what was gained by treating them badly, right? Still, Daliah's happiness made her a little nicer and stay out of trouble, maybe because Elliot was a police? The idea that she behaved well for that reason makes me laugh. Surely she wouldn’t want her boyfriend to arrest her. Two years of good behavior.

Until she couldn't take it anymore. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2019 entry

How many times have I had to see you look at her? How many times have I pretended that everything was fine because I wanted to be by your side? I've seen how you looked at her when you came to my parents' house. How you treated her so carefully. Wanting to brush her hand when you helped her clean the dishes. Why don't you do that with me? ¿Was it all a lie? These two years you were with me because I look like her?

Always MC, always her.

But I don’t blame him… MC is special. I don’t think she herself knows that she can easily attract people, even though she doesn’t know how to do it.

But Elliot… Was it so hard for you to be equally in love with me? Look at me like her? Did you give her the kisses you gave me in your thoughts? Did you ever have her in mind when we did it? The caresses that you gave me were for MC that you had in your mind? Were the conversations we had just for her?

But I keep torturing myself because I love you. Because I don't know if I'll be able to find someone as wonderful as you. Does that someone exist? No. It will never exist.

I don't know how much longer I can take it. That you only look at her.

2019 entry

I've had to brake up with him. I have not been able to continue. Neither he nor I want the same thing. I don't want to have another child again. I don't want to. I also don't want to continue something with him if he doesn't really love me. I want this fake to end. We have talked about it as calmly as possible after a discussion about what we want in the future, about what he really feels for me.

It's over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I curse Elliot under my breath and how he made her suffer. I feel like he treated her like a doll and it disgusts me. It was much easier to brake up with her than to continue to settle. He hurt her feelings, pretending everything was fine. She did well to brake up with him, she didn't deserve to continue being used in that way.

And it went back to being the Daliah of before. The one that she continued to use her story for her benefit, the one that listened to Grace's advice, turning everything around as if she was right. Because she was hurt by what happened with Elliot, she was much more manipulable. I don't know why she never let me see this side of her, maybe because she would know I would be mad at her? Why would she know that I am right that everything she did was wrong? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2019 entry

I had arrived at work on time. I always had to arrive first to prepare everything, but today was different. I heard some shouting from Armando's office, arguing with his wife, it didn't seem strange to me, but the topic of the discussion did. I couldn't avoid recording it, since it seemed like a very strange conversation. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I see that it has a link in the document and when I click on it, another one opens, thus playing an audio. "You've had that bitch for four years. Do you know what the press is starting to say about us?" I hear Irma scream “They say she's your lover! And that she is the girl who was kidnapped as a child by the Kelpie killer! Do you realize the image you give?!” "Irma, I don't understand why you're so obsessed with her" Armando replies, in a harsher tone "She could be my daughter!" “Like yours?!” Irma raises her voice, furious “OH! NO WAIT! YOU DON'T CONSIDER HER YOUR DAUGHTER! If you considered her, Daliah would not be in that position!” "Don't ever say that!" Armando's voice is terrifying when answering it “Of course I consider Grace as my daughter! I just don't want her to be here.” "You've always been out of their lives," she reproaches him “, you've never shown yourself as a father to them. That's why Ralph left! Because you weren't the father he needed!” “That boy has never been well no matter how much we helped him.” "Maybe you should have helped him a little more." some heel steps are heard and the audio ends there. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't understand exactly what they mean in this audio, but I think it's a pretty interesting conversation. I had never heard them speak of their children in that way, perhaps I should ask Grace about this? I don't know… It really has given me a very strange feeling.

Like a familiar cold. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Daliah recorded this conversation, then something went through her head. I don't think it was just out of curiosity or manipulation, it doesn't say that in her entry. Could it be that she suspected something? But what I'm not going to do is feel sorry for Ralph. I don't care what happened, he no longer has an excuse for everything he did to Daliah and what he did to me. Maybe with the input of what happened between him and Daliah I can show people that Ralph is not a trustworthy guy. Even if it doesn't prove that he drugged me, it will be flagged as ruining my sister's life at a very young age.

Maybe I'm too cruel? No, I'm not. I know exactly what Ralph is like, I've seen him. And Daliah too.

I finally get to when she signed up for film classes, when Daliah had no turning back on being manipulative. She did things that she shouldn't have done. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2020 entry

I've told Grace about what Mason has done. I watched her take a CD out of Professor Lange's office and maybe I should tell him about it. But her idea is much more tempting: ‘’Why don’t you wait for him to do it again? The more he do it, the more you can take advantage of the situation.’’ In a way, she's right, I could continue to run evidence to get Jane out of me in future movies shorts we do.

Worst of all is that Ralph also studies in this academy, I was surprised that he was here. When he saw me, I looked away. I couldn't do it. Seeing him reminds me of the damage he did to me. When he got close to me, I froze. Luckily he didn't stop to talk to me, but he did stop to intimidate me. As if to say it's there to remind me of everything bad. I think even before I looked away, I've seen the worst look I've ever been given:

The smile of a devil. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grace didn't care if some project of hers went wrong because of Mason? Stopping him as soon as possible had to be beneficial, leaving him alone caused many problems for the rest of the students, didn't she care? I guess because of this, Carter and Jane don't like Grace, because they saw her true nature.

And of course, now that I know what had happened between Ralph and Daliah, knowing that he chose to go to that academy to torture her was crazy. Because not only did he do it when he was at the academy, having to see him every day, but stealing his father's money for drugs. Daliah had to put up with seeing him and fear losing her job. And knowing that Armando had the secret of being a moneylender, I don't think she would like to see him pissed off, but was it something Ralph cared about? No, of course not. He didn't consider him his father and he hated Daliah to the point of wanting to ruin her life. And why? Did he know what Daliah was really like when they met? She was totally different. What reasons would there be to hate her?

Two years go by normally, being the star of her classmates' shorts, manipulating, taking away all the prominence from Jane. Using her story to get what she wanted. But then there was the Daliah who cried at the entrances saying that she had nightmares. Liar. All this time you were lying. You were torturing yourself and you didn't realize it.

It is then that... We arrived at the great year I had. Not that she was much better. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2022 entry

I don't know how, but MC has gotten into a kidnapping case. An girl has sent her phone number to her boyfriend, the strange thing is that mysterious guy she doesn't know his name. I'm a little worried, what if she gets into trouble? WORSE! What if he's the problem?! What do she know about him? I worry about her, I don't understand how this could have happened to her. I'll make her tell me everything, I don't want something bad to happen to her.

Don’tworry MC, I'm going to protect you. I will be by your side this time, I won't leave you alone in this.

2022 entry

I'm scared, I feel like Jake is like Ralph. He says nice things to her, but he is distant. The worst thing is that I see her happy to talk to him. I have warned her that he is possibly Hannah's lover and that he is using her, why else doesn't that guy tell her anything? She thinks I'm doing it because she compared him to Krebs, but if she only knew I'm doing it because I don't want her to end up like me, hurt, with no feelings for anything.

I don't want him to hurt her, because then he'll have to deal with me. I don't know where he's hiding, but I'll do my best if he hurts her. I swear. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow… Daliah really didn't like Jake. I guess I understand her concern now, it was a difficult time between Jake and me, I always wanted to be close to him, but I was embarrassed. Although it was easy to talk to him at the same time and I liked that. I didn't have to force myself, it was just me and him. But Daliah didn't like him because he kept things from me and she hated it more than I did. I wished they could talk, it would have been easier for her to trust him. But it was impossible. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2022 entry

He has made her cry. He has made MC cry. In a second he gave her hope and then broke her heart. I knew he was that kind of guy, I knew it. I tried to be as calm with her, because I didn't want to yell saying that it's better that she stay away from him, that she block him. I know how good she is and that she's helping a group, but she doesn't have to get emotionally involved. She will get hurt. She would have to listen. At least I’ve warned her not to crawl to him, that she doesn’t let herself be fooled.

Jake is just like him. A liar who used her. God! I would love to be able to yell four things to that guy's face. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well… When Jake told me that the government was after him, I think I tried to understand him better, but… The fear that he could bring me trouble made me move away a little more, but sometimes, it was impossible. Why? Why was it so easy to fall in love with him? Now I think about it and I think it's because it's what I thought from the beginning, that I felt comfortable with him. Jake was very easy to talk to, maybe a little pressure at first about finding any clues in the cloud, but when we talked a little about something that had nothing to do with Hannah's case, it was very easy.

I continue reading, everything about what happened that year. Daliah couldn't stand me talking about Jake, actually, she liked it better when I talked about the other boys. It was the Daliah I had missed so much, talking to me again like before she met Grace. In the time when Jake had to leave and I leaned on my friends and my sister. It was a lot of fun and inspired me on 'How to survive the boy you like having to disappear because of his sister'. Because that was another topic, I never told Daliah that Jake and Hannah were actually siblings. I think that was the only thing I didn't tell her about him. The first thing I kept from Daliah. I had to promise that distorted image on the screen.

And I get to a part that makes me roll my eyes. I didn't want to give it to her, I really didn't, but she was very insistent as soon as she saw… Ugh… Phil's photo. I still remember how she was circling me when she saw him on the screen, asking me who the new guy was. So, knowing what Phil was like, I gave her his number to bother him. I believed that she was never going to interest him, really. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And some time later, he ended up being arrested. I remember how much she defended him when I didn't trust him, we exchanged roles, now I was the one worried about her and that she liked a guy like Phil, but she told me that they talked about what happened with Hannah and that he had nothing to do with it, that we were just nervous.

I keep reading and laugh again when he found out that Lilly needed my help. She liked to see how she dragged herself. But I couldn't be cruel to her. I understood that she was worried about Hannah and tried to do the last resort she thought was necessary. I wouldn't have done it, accused someone without proof, but I would do anything for Daliah. And here we are. Reading his diary.

We cut to when Jake came back, she was mad at him again and I was so happy. And more when he told me that I was the only one that mattered to him, how could I not end up falling in love with him even more? Even though I had Daliah telling me to be careful, because it could be dangerous for me to step into that world. And I knew it perfectly.

I get to the part of the conversation with Elliot. I still can't believe it. Or maybe yes, after all she did. Only now when I read this conversation, it seems very strange to me, the old Daliah. All this year Daliah and I were together again. Who was going to tell me that a case that had nothing to do with us made us talk like before?

After that, Daliah wanted to meet my friends and since I told her that I had agreed to go to the movies with Dan, she signed up, and that's how it was. We decided to play a prank on him, letting Daliah come out first with her flirtatious charm that surprised him because I was always calm in the chat. Later, when I appeared, he was surprised, but he was amused and understood why I wanted to be accompanied, he thought it was a good thing for her to take care of me. Little by little I began to introduce her to the group. I could see her smile again, that Daliah who made jokes, with whom she shared secrets. I had my sister again. And they all accepted us into the group. We were some more. Daliah integrated perfectly and I didn't see her as manipulative at all like in the chats I've read. She was very natural.

I let out a long sigh as I read about when she first met Phil and they did it in the warehouse. But... Reading that she felt good with him, that she liked how he talked to her and, although she knew she wasn't the only one in his life, she liked having him as a friend. I think that behind these words, she was deceiving herself. She wanted something more with him, I'm sure. All her words towards Phil are full of affection and reading that he didn't compare her to me because we didn't get along, that he only saw Daliah, makes me happy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He is the first to see the real Daliah. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s a lie, I was the first. But I think I know what she mean. “Dammit, now I’ll have to thank Phil.” I say with a laugh, switching files. It was from this year. I keep the files that I recognize from the investigation and read the ones that I’m missing. At the beginning of the year, that's when it all started. Daliah began to change again. And not because she wanted to manipulate someone. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2023 entry

After receiving the clippings, I have decided to do some research on my own. I didn't want to sit idly by knowing who sent them to me. I've been asking Mr. Lang if, despite the fact that Krebs is dead, he may have any living relatives. Clearly I have asked it without giving details of why I ask it, it would turn Rosenschwarz upside down and I still don't know if it is a joke that someone wants to play on me. He told me that Krebs was known to have a child, and then it all made sense. That day when I was locked in that cage, there was a boy or a girl, but the fact is that there was someone! I knew it! I think it is that person who is sending them to me, that mysterious child.

Damn.

It can be anyone. Who am I going to trust? I know that Jane is not at least, I have ruled her out after finding out, but I don't dare now to go out of my way and ask if she also received something from them.

Unfortunately, part of me has a slight suspicion, even though I'm afraid it's real.

2023 entry

I'm scared! How did I not notice before?! I was about to open the door when I saw something strange in the corner, a very small light. I have looked and paid attention, it looked like a small laser. I have entered the house and taken a chair and a hammer. I placed the chair to go up and there, there was a small hole in the wall, it was hardly visible, but I managed to do it. I began to hammer the wall until I took out a small camera. The landlady yelled at me asking what I was doing and I told her that I had seen a big bug, a cockroach. I scared her, but it was necessary. When I plugged the camera into the computer, it didn't work anymore. It was as if it had gone bad.

No, not broken.

A remote camera.

There was no video inside it, everything was clean.

Okay, so I rule out people who don't live on the block because to put this up, you clearly need to live here or at least be invited. And it’s not that everyone adore me in this block, they are colleagues who I have humiliated. But at least I’ve ruled out several people.

I must protect myself somehow, I have talked too much on this computer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not only the clippings, they were also watching her. This is terrifying! Why would they record her? Or just to scare her? "Someone from the building." I start to think. I only know of four people living in that building: Mason, Grace, Jane, and Ralph. I don't think it's Carter or Seo-ah. I doubt the people going there will have time to hook up a camera. I want to rule out Jane, because she is helping me, her brother was a victim, what would I get out of torturing her if Jane wanted nothing to do with her? The one who tortured her was Daliah with all the auditions. Inside me it tells me to write off Mason after everything I've read. There was only one person who knew how to handle cameras and that was perfectly Ralph. He was the one she was most afraid of and talks about protecting herself.

I get to the part where it's the conversation with Mason and how he tried to hack her. So the rest is how she met Mike and found out Seo-ah's secret. Just like they both told me. Clearly, they are ruled out as suspects. She also found out that Rocco was the brother of one of her academy teachers. This worried her a bit, but she got used to it. There are even photos with notes, estimates of how old Krebs's child might be now. Our age. But it's not only that, she also sees that the children they killed were six years old. She think it must mean something, but she haven't figured it out. I move on to the next entry. My heart breaks again after reading for so long. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013 entry

I didn't feel like going to Colville for the first time in a long time, but Grace was very insistent that we go record. I resigned myself and agreed to go, and then we stayed in Colville and went to her place to prepare to go to a party.

She fixed me up like she always did, because she's good at makeup and hair. She chose me a beautiful blue dress. While she was doing my hair, I noticed a pendant that was hanging on the dresser. It was a horse with rhinestone legs. It was strange to see it, it was as if I had seen it before. I asked Grace where she got it from because I had never seen it before. She picked it up and put it around my neck. ''It was my mother's.'' She replied, with a smile. I touched it gently, still mesmerized by it. It was pretty, but at the same time, the feeling of discomfort intoxicated me. I don't know why, but seeing it gave me a strange feeling.

But that night didn’t end there.

No, it had to be there. Of course.

I tried to avoid looking at him, I didn’t want to see him there. I asked Grace to leave, starting to feel dizzy, but she just told me that it was okay, that I keep drinking.

And that I did. Having a strange feeling of feeling good when part of me wanted to run because he was there.

Ralph walked over to me, grabbing me around the waist. He looked down at the necklace and chuckled. ‘'It suits you perfectly.'' He whispered in my ear, and then began to kiss my neck and go up to my lips. And I left him. Because I felt good. Because it was like I wanted it at that moment. After that, the images in my head are still blurry. I only remember a few laughs. I don't remember anything else.

I woke up in a house I didn't know, luckily I had my clothes on. And I mean everything, there was nothing out of place, no mark that he could leave me. Or at least, that's what I thought, because I couldn't see my back. I called Mike because I was embarrassed to call MC and I thought maybe Seo-ah could help me too. If I told this to MC, it might worry her too much. If I told Elliot, maybe Rosenschwarz would talk about me again. And I wouldn't take it.

Luckily, it was fine, but I didn't want it to stay there. So, I dared to stand up to Ralph after a long time. The last time it was by message, but this time I didn't sit still and decided to record it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Can we talk about what happened last night?" I hear Daliah ask. My God. It had been a long time since I had heard her real voice, not the one from my imagination. “What happened last night?” Ralph asks. It's the same tone he used on me. My stomach turns. “You drugged me” she replies very annoyed, “and you kissed me!” "I didn't kiss you" he's doing the same as with me ", why would I kiss you if you don't interest me?" "Because maybe you're a fucking psycho who enjoys seeing me suffer." A laugh is heard. Ralph's laugh. It's totally cold and I'm afraid to listen to it. "Well, I don't deny that, I like that you suffer because I hate you.” “You son of a bitch!” Daliah screams and her voice is piercing. In all this time, her voice sounded very nervous, accelerated “What else did you do to me last night?! I’m going to sue you!” “I told you, we didn't do anything” he replies dryly “. You can do all the medical test you want, they won't find anything because I didn't touch you, you were just drunk” I hear him chuckle “. Although if you went with another guy last night, that's up to you, you're the bitch here, how many are there now? Let's see, Elliot, Carter and Phil? Is that his name?” “Motherfucker! You son of a bitch!” I hear a knock and then how she complains. "Touch me again and I'll kill you." My breath catches when I hear him speak that way. A terrible chill runs through my entire body “. Jane was right, you should have died.” I hear Daliah whine and yell more insults. Then I hear her take out her phone while I hear her heels click and the recording cuts out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went to examine after this conversation, terrified. Then I spoke to Grace. Of course, I took a screenshot. Her words were more than surprising. I had never heard something so cruel said to me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daliah We need to talk

-----Grace has connected-----

Grace DALIAH! Where were you? I've been looking for you all night

Daliah Your brother drugged me and I think he abused me

Grace What? What are you saying?

Daliah I have talked to him Well discussed I’m scared, please, will you accompany me to make a statement to the police? You were with me

Grace Sorry Daliah, but I didn't see anything

Daliah What? You must be kidding

Grace You left, I saw it You left for a moment and you didn’t come back I asked Ralph and he told me you were going home

Daliah But I'm telling you the truth!

Grace Daliah, my brother doesn’t want anything with you anymore Why would he do something to you if he can’t stand to see you?

Daliah Grace, I beg you to believe me I only ask you that, that you come with me You were a witness last night, remember?

Grace But Daliah, he didn’t do anything to you I saw it clearly You were drunk, remember? Maybe you confuse everything

Daliah How am I going to confuse something like that? I didn't feel well!

Grace You said it yourself, you didn’t feel well Hey my brother can be a jerk to you sometimes🙄 but he would never do something like that to you So stop saying that, you can bring him trouble, it’s something very serious

Daliah But Grace, how can you imply that I would make it up?

Grace Because he hurt you a lot and I understand it, anything to avenge Hey, I have your clothes, are you going to come to the academy for it? Daliah? Hey, are you still there?

Daliah Yes, i'm still here

Grace Well okay, come look for it I’m sure it must be uncomfortable to go around town in that dress 🤭 You must stand out too much

Daliah A bit…

Grace So come and change See you later! 😋

-----Grace has disconnected ----- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the same story I've been through. Grace also doubted Daliah. I get up from the chair, walking around the room. I don’t know how to think, I don’t know how to walk. It’s like I’m getting dizzy from all this, I’m short of breath. I gasp in anger. Why?! WHY DID YOU TAKE ME AWAY?! WHY DID YOU THINK I COULDN'T HELP YOU! My hands are shaking, feeling that tingling sensation again. This is beyond hate, this is torture. "I have to finish this" I take a deep breath ", finish it as soon as possible and talk to Jake, I mustn't pause now." I sit back down trying to continue after reading this. Knowing that I've been through the same thing that Daliah went through, all exactly the same. Only that I imagine that they should have put more quantity.

Daliah’s decline began there. She no longer wanted to go to Colville. She no longer went with Grace to her house to go to a party afterwards. She spent time with me and my friends. I want to think that she felt good with us. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2023 entry

I'm lucky that I know how to act and I put on my best face. I look at each and every one of them, listening to them talk about the plans for the horror short. I don't like it for nothing. They needed a villain and I remembered when MC showed me the legend of The Man Without a Face. I explained that he was a man who took away sinners, while I stared at Ralph. Addressing him. I saw him smile, understanding that I was addressing him. I wish it was real and he would take him to the woods and never come back.

My friendship with Grace gradually deteriorates after she defends her brother. I feel that I have no one left in this town except MC, who is still by my side without knowing everything that I have been hiding from her for years. Would she hate me if I told her now? Would she accept the Daliah I became?

I have tried to investigate Krebs' son, but they have refused to give me that information because it is private and because I’m the girl that they father kidnapped. Surely they must have thought that I want to do something to then. And of course I want it. I want an explanation. I want to know if it is that person who is sending me those clippings, I don't want to confront then, I want to denounce them, finished with all this.

2023 entry

I had kept in my hands the paper in which it says that they found no trace of any abuse. In part it relieves me, but I’m still terrified of what happened, because it could have happened. I had kept in my hands tightly squeezing the doll that I received. It looks like Seo-ah's. I don't want to think that she sent it to me after all I've done for her.

No... She wasn't the one who sent it to me, I know.

Every day that passes I feel that something bad is going to happen, even so I don't want to. I look at the little horse on my desk as I write this. I don't like. I hate it. I hate it. I hate horses because they hide under a look of innocence, but they can hurt you.

Horse…

Innocence…

‘'It was from mom.’’

‘'It was my mother's.’’

I already know who it is. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I believe it too. It was a small clue that I understood perfectly, but I understand. I see that the last thing left is a video. My heart races with fear, what will be in that video? Any trap? No, but what do I think? It can't be a trap. I’m so terrified by all the things that have happened to me that I’m already at my worst. I double-click it and the first thing I see is Daliah using the mouse. Then she looks at the screen. She is not wearing makeup and I can see her tired and red eyes, it seems that she has cried. "If you're watching this MC, congratulations, you've managed to achieve something that I knew only you would achieve" I laugh as my tears fall “. Or maybe you will never see this video because I will have deleted it after what I imagine is going to happen doesn't happen, that I go crazy and end everything” She swallows and tilts her head thoughtfully “. Or just that they finally finish me off.” Her look is sad, I don't remember her being that way in her last days. She is very different. "Surely, if you're watching it, you've read everything I've been writing throughout my life" she makes a grimace with her lips, a small smile "I'm not proud that you read it, but if I'm dead and you had to investigate my death, surely it would have been necessary." “You could have made it easier for me.” I comment quietly. "I'm sorry for not making it easy for you" I let out another laugh, surely she knew I was going to say that. We knew each other better than anyone “But my fear that someone would try to read everything I wrote other than you was too big. I didn't even trust Elliot and that was very strange coming from me, right?” lets out a little laugh “But only you are the only person I trust.”

She pauses, taking another deep breath. "I imagine that in order to have read all this, you must have used the famous 'Hackerman'" I laugh when I hear her imitate Dan's voice and the nickname he gave him. That shows that she was part of my group ", and to be honest, it doesn't bother me if you've done it even though I don't like it very much" she looks at the camera narrowing her eyes, pointing ". And if I die, let him know that I'll be watching you so you don't make a mistake with him." I roll my eyes. It's hard for me to be serious when I see her like that. I know she's hurt, but she kept pulling herself up to record this video. For me. “Both last year and this year, I've been thinking a lot about my life, what I've become. I hurt people who didn't deserve it, I agreed to do things I shouldn't have done.” “Like have sex with Carter?” "If you said sex with Carter, yes, I regret it because I realized that it wasn't right" she was embarrassed to look at the screen “. I realized with everything that happened last year, there were many things that made me think that I will never be able to repair. So, I just had to leave it behind and forget it, I had no other alternative” She clears her throat, looking back at the camera “. Being with you and the rest of the group made me feel like myself again, even when I found out about Seo-ah's secret, it didn't go through my head to reveal it” She waves her hand, annoyed “. It was as if my head didn't stop spinning and realize that I missed a lot of things by becoming the worst person in Rosenschwarz” I see her shiny eyes, as if she wanted to cry ". But for my sister I never was" she breathes in with difficulty “. MC, you are the most amazing person a sister could have. Despite how much I know how hard it is for you to be sociable or I don't know, to show the world your music” I let out a laugh, drying my tears “, you managed to help a person for the second time, you really should be admired as such and... I took that away from you by putting my dreams ahead. I should have shared them by your side, as we always had.”

I put a hand to my chest, trying to catch my breath. She knew how it would end. She knew it perfectly. They say that in moments of clarity is when your turn comes. The video message, the giving me the keys to the store on our last day together. I saw how little by little she was letting herself be carried away by fear and what was coming. “Also, when I think about what I did to you and Jake, separating you that night, maybe part of me was a little jealous because even though everything that revolves around him can cause you problems, he was someone who really made you happy” She swallow hard, unable to stop crying “. I thought he was like idiot Ralph, but I was wrong. I realized late. Ralph would never have gone down a mine to get me to safety. And that is perhaps what I admire about Jake, that at all times he always tried to protect you, but I didn't want to see it because I wanted to be the one to do it, like you protected me when we were little.”

She pauses, staring at the ceiling crying uncontrollably. “And that’s why I don’t dare now to look at your face and ask you to be sorry!” her voice breaks, putting a hand to her chest “I’m not able to apologize for all these years in which I left you alone! In which I abandoned you! MC! I promise that when this is all over, I will apologize as many times as necessary! When I manage to get rid of her, we'll go back to being the sisters we were before! And if I have to move heaven and earth to find your stupid hacker for you to forgive me, I will!” I shake my head, trying to stop crying, but I can't. Still, she makes me smile because she's still mad at Jake “But if I don't get it, if you're seeing this” I see her place her hands on the screen and make the movement of biting her lip on the inside. with desperate eyes “end it for us, for all they've done to us. Because I don't think this ends here” Her jaw tense and her lip quivering “. You and I did wrong we didn't know, but what we did was the right thing. Don't think that everything we went through was bad, because what we did was help more children. Because I was not going to be the last.” What is she saying? “. At some point she's going to finish it, it's just you and Jane. Don't let her kill you! Don't listen to her words! And above all, don't let her fool you! There's still some evidence to piece together, but I'm sure it's always been Grace. The necklace she lent me is the one she showed me when I was little! It's the horse that has scared me so much! I just need something to prove it! But if I don't make it” she look at angry screen “, finish it for me” then she calms down, leaning back, taking a deep breath “. I love you so much MC… You are the best sister I could have had…” She is on screen for a while, crying. Then she remembers to turn off the video in a hurry, as if she had remembered that she had left it on.

I lower the screen and get up. Evidence Where do I get them? How do I prove that Grace is behind all this? I can only prove that Ralph also did the same thing to Daliah as he did to me, but how do I do it with Grace? Jane… Why did she name Jane?

And of course, Jane sends me a message. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----Jane has connected-----

Jane I have to say, my acting methods and Seo-ah's art of reenacting is spectacular Do you know that I had to turn around to go home and then to the academy to look for a badge when I saw what the address was about?

MC Jane, I have to tell you something! It’s Grace! Grace is the cause of everything!

Jane I KNOW! Wait, how do you know?

MC Daliah left a video for me

Jane Using the same trick as the man I hated, huh?

MC Something like that But that is not the case! Grace has been manipulating Daliah all these years. We need proof that she is the culprit! I think Daliah knew that she was the daughter of Krebs.

Jane THAT’S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR! I have pretended to be a police officer to obtain information in THE ORPHANAGE! I have to say, it’s been pretty easy playing as a police Now I understand Dean and Sam when they are investigating 🤔

MC JANE! FOCUS!

Jane Sorry! I’ve never been in something like this! Investigating is new to me Anyway, we also have some fake request sheets that Elliot taught us to do for a short film and they swallowed it like it was real!

MC Ok, but do you have proof or not?

Jane For the record that what I have done is illegal, I hope you knew that Well, it seems that the girl’s last name was NOT changed until after the adoption. So as soon as I saw Grace Krebs' name on file and saw the photo, there was no doubt that it was her as a little girl! I ran out, taking the file with me with the excuse that we have to investigate her because she disappeared.

MC Have you stolen an adoption file?

Jane Yeah

MC And how do you plan to show it to the police without being arrested?

Jane … Well, I'm talking to Elliot, and I know he'll help us for you

MC Good perfect Using the guy who likes me to help us

Jane Hey, if he cares about you, why not?

MC And where are you now? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wait a moment for her to answer, but she doesn’t. I then begin to tug at my shirt sleeve nervously. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC Jane? All good?

Jane I’m tired of waiting Your friend has gotten into where she shouldn’t ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reading that was going back to last year. I didn’t want to have to relive this again, the threatening messages. I clench my jaw hard, typing rapidly. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC What have you done to her?!

Jane Calm down MC, it’s alright But we must talk I think that what has happened today has been the straw that broke the camel’s back So let’s get together

MC But Jane has nothing to do with all this!

Jane Of course she does You and her are the ones that remain And I no longer want to continue torturing you, it bores me Come to Mount lake Oh! And nothing to tell anyone And with nobody, you know exactly who I mean

MC Do you mean Elliott? Is he a threat so the police won’t find out? Answer me Grace!

-----Jane has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I get up from the chair, starting to pace the room. I have to go right? I can’t let her hurt Jane. Although I know that she will not be fair to me and I will end up dead. Or both. I go back to the computer and put the files and Daliah's video on my phone, sending it to Jake. I may not be able to send it to the police, but I can send it to him, and surely with his help I can prove that Daliah was manipulated for years. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC Jake? [Files.rar] I have to ask you a favor

*Jake POV*

I am keeping Roth's entire video, to use as evidence. Surely the police like to see how sh e laugh when they leave, they will want to ask her several questions. I get a message, hoping it is MC. But not. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------Mike has connected-----

Mike How are you doing, Jakie? Something new?

Jake Serrano's wife has accused me of assaulting her.

Mike How do you know?

Jake I had to hack the cameras to protect myself from being at her local.

Mike Risky… I like it And? You did?

Jake Right now they are investigating the cameras, I do not think they will find anything on me. The bad: There is no proof that MC was drugged. I have seen the video and at no time can I see if they put something in the glass.

Mike I mean, they’re not going to be able to put that guy in jail 😑

Jake No, but at least I saw Roth laugh when the cops left her alone after questioning her. She is not shown as a wounded woman.

Mike I would have liked to see that I love to see how they humiliate themselves

Jake And good? I am sure you have not texted me at all.

Mike Oh! How do you already know me? Drumroll! [▶️ 0:09] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I roll my eyes when I see that he has surely sent me the audio of some drums. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake Please can you tell me what it is?

Mike Files friend! Files of that bastard’s children!

Jake So children. No one. But how do you know it’s them?

Mike I paid a little more to the guy who was going to look for it, so I not only have the adoption papers, but also from before The information where they come from, what happened to their parents, psychological history, everything [Grace Krebs.PDF] [Ralph Krebs.PDF] [Grace Serrano.PDF] [Ralph Serrano.PDF] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stare at the names for a few seconds. Grace and Ralph. I knew they were brothers, but unless only one was adopted. Something catches my attention. Their ages. In the first files, it says that Grace is six years old and Ralph is eight, while in the adoption files, they are the same age. The worst thing is, it is thinking about what Ralph has done to MC and knowing that he is Krebs' son, it makes my blood boil. And Grace was friends with her, until her brother drugged her. They have both been torturing her, laughing at her. I try to appear calm talking to Mike, now I do not want anger to blind me, I need to be focused. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake So they were both adopted by Armando Serrano and Irma Roth. But why the change of ages?

Mike Hmm… I suppose that Armando and Irma would have decided that for some specific reason

Jake The press.

Mike What does the press have to do with this?

Jake I talked about it with MC, we theorized that maybe it was because they did not want them to know that they had the children when Irma was young. But it was not because she had them young, but because they were adopted. Is there a reason they want to hide it?

Mike I have no idea That is important?

Jake I do not think so, maybe it has nothing to do with our case. I hope MC found something to accuse them as well that they are the culprits of Daliah's murder.

Mike You think? Why would children of a murderer want to end their father’s job? I would ignore mine Like now I do

Jake That is what I want to know. MC saw a video of Daliah that had been played by someone. And Ralph is one of those who were close. There is also the camcorder with Daliah dead. Ralph has access to any mod program. While Grace may be the perfect distraction for her to helping him. While in reality, he was just watching her.

Mike So she could tell her brother everything.

Jake Exactly.

Mike

And what does Irma have to do with it? There’s nothing linking her to Janis Krebs, why go after Daliah?

Jake Why not help your children in a revenge and get rid of losing everything in their marriage?

Mike And I thought that Armando was a terrible person Those three are the same and they’re not even blood related Oh! Anything else! [Death certificate of Genevieve Hesse.PDF] [Obituary Genevieve Hesse.PDF] Grace and Ralph’s mother This was a little easier to get, it’s not as guarded She was not killed by her husband, but by natural causes If you’re interested

Jake Thank you. I think this will be more useful to MC than to me. I will send it to her too.

Mike Well that’s all Talk to you soon 👋

Jake See you soon Mike.

-------Mike has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the conversation with Mike, I did not realize that MC had a conversation with Jane. The conversation had completely changed and I am thankful that I had to talk to her when she texted me. I do not waste time getting up from my chair, cell phone in hand ready to leave to prevent her from going to the lake. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----MC has connected-----

MC Jake? [Files.rar] I have to ask you a favor

Nym-0s I was going to write to you now. MC, you are not going.

MC There is no time this time for you to come Jake! It would be too late for Jane! She will kill her! And this is personal

Nym-0s I just left the apartment. It might buy me time if I drive fast to the lake.

MC Not this time I won’t risk you again

Nym-0s Risking your life? I will not allow it. MC, I have evidence you can use to prove it was them.

-----MC has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I curse under my breath as I see she go offline at the same time I send the last message. I run as fast as I can until I reach the sidecar, starting it. I manage to hear my heartbeat in my ears, nervous about what they might do to her. With Michael we did not know what intentions he had with MC when he wanted to meet her, but this time it's more than clear after so much torture they have done to him. And the worst thing is that surely Grace will not be alone as she names in the message. “Try not to die until I get there.” I mutter as I accelerate. I spent a long time without being able to be in contact with her and if I lose her now, I will not forgive myself or them. I do not think they want to meet a vengeful Jake.

Chapter 32

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood everbyte #duskwood game #everbyte #everbyte studio #duskwood fanfic

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mythvoiced · 1 year

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len!! time for me to enable you- TELL ME ABOUT SARANG'S CONNECTIONS >:3 who is significant in her life and why and what does she think of them?? <3

@clemencetaught | FERRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got so excited at seeing you in my inbox that I pressed a weird keyboard shortcut and got kicked back to dash which is quite something I have no idea what happened, BUT THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME BECAUSE, GUESS WHAT, MYUNGDAE AND NELL ARE ON THIS LIST, PLEASE HOLD---

Ahem~ This includes canon verse connections & as well as rp partner muses

The Order as a large entity is her most prominent connection, I won't go into much detail because it's just... her position in it is central aspect to her story, so I'd just be spouting wildly if I went into it again here~ BUT I NEED TO MENTION @theimpalpable 's Nae-Gil (fellow knight!!!!!!!!!!!!!) because he's fucking everything to me, they haven't gotten to interact, to establish a dynamic but he means so much to me and I love Alex so much

Sköll/Jeon Hui & Jeon San Her brothers, one you might recognise as another muse of mine, the other is her late older brother; they were a situation of Three, San was a bit older than Hui & Sarang, while Sarang was perhaps only one, two years older than Hui. San was the one she felt she could rely on in terms of a sturdy, present male figure in her life and formative years, even though he was a teenager when she was a child, he still gave her more sense of worth, of being deserving of respect than she could have asked of her parents. She looked up to him, and while she had a propensity for trying to escape the role society demanded of her in lieu of being a yangban woman, she'd actually try to 'play the part' for him, to facilitate his existence as the oldest. She was much more... content, for lack of better terms, in living that womanhood at the time, because even though San's ideals weren't too progressive (as in, he was the type to say 'it is what it is') and since child her had trusted him to want what's best for her, if he thinks perhaps it's best to play along to make sure she can stay safe and live well, she'd felt it easier to go along with it. Hui, on the other hand, was her baby. As someone with the inability to feel pain, Hui had always been a terribly accident-prone child, so he was coddled by the family, Sarang included. She felt protective of him, and since he couldn't be treated like any regular yangban son since he was a mess and couldn't be left alone according to the Jeon's, even as adults they spent most of their time with each other, she as the daughter who'd have to wait to be married, and he as the hopeless youngest. She learned a sense of belonging through him, responsibility, cameraderie. Partners in crime, sneaky siblings with a knack for lying. Her brothers were everything to her and she misses them dearly.

Black Knight/Shin Myungdae (YOU ♥) NOW I do NOT in the SLIGHTEST demand this is an actual connection, but I do need to say that meeting Myungdae has added something to Sarang's character that I couldn't have found without you. Writing her as a femme fatale was 'easy' enough with the setups I already had, but having her face off against a mysterious man with a righteous cause and so much baggage to carry around, especially as the Black Knight before getting to meet him as Myungdae on that bench? Meeting the Black Knight evoked in her this potential of... I can't quite explain it. She's an assassin, a con-artist, but that chess game against Myungdae put her in a new light for me? She seems much more fleshed out, all of a sudden, with deeper motivations, with expressions of sorrow that make me think so much more about her. His class, the way he moves, the way he handles himself, if she ever were to stumble into anything that would reveal that he's an outlaw for good reasons, there's something about getting to figure out how she reacts to Myungdae and Black Knight that is revealing something hidden deep within her. A sense of justice she can't allow herself the luxury of having, the longing of being more than a pawn not just for freedom but also because maybe she wants to be part of something bigger, something good. Maybe she wants to use her skills and fight on the right side for once. It's a very dormant thought, she can't afford looking at it and feel all the frustration that comes with not having the option to follow this path. But even beyond what I'm discovering of her, I just truly love that I get to sneak Sarang a little bit into this verse, THROUGH NELL TOO. Because it's?? It's so very HUGE, it's so incredibly well-written and developed, having any of my muses interact with it makes ME feel like I'm part of something bigger. She truly spends a lot of time thinking about Black Knight, wondering about him, what his deal is, she can't figure him out, but she'd like to.

Nell Jones (@ofgentleresolve tagging even tho it's u so i can Promo™) SAME THING here, not demanding an actual connection, you simply write such amazing characters that they INSTANTLY impact mine; Nell is dragging Sarang through the gutter for the sole reason that, even in those few replies I wrote you, she's forgetting herself. Nell has such an incredible presence, energy when Sarang gets to interact with her, that she has to constantly remind herself of the act she's putting up. It's so easy to get lost in Nell's smiles and awkward demeanour that Sarang constantly analysing it is written out on purpose to underline how hyperfocused she's forcing herself to be, to avoid slipping up and forgetting that she isn't who she's claiming to be, that she can't be allowed to be who she was before Sarang. It doesn't happen often that Sarang will forget... about Sarang. But something about Nell makes her want to. I'M NOT trying to push for anything either, this doesn't have to mean anything, it's just the effect Nell has on her~

Calixtus Orion (@uroborosymphony Lynnie ma chère~) Calista, oh god, Calista, CALISTA!! Have I mentioned -clears throat- -starry eyes- Calista? Lynnie has irreversibly blessed me by allowing me to create a connection to her Calista, this plot, this connection, the dynamic, the fact that I'm obsessed with Calista, everything here is so deep and fucking amazing, I truly lack the words to be able to describe them. She's blessed me with a catalyst, nonetheless. A desire beyond her understandable desire for freedom. Sarang sees in Calista righteous anger, even though she's not kind, even though she's a powerful bloodthirsty unhinged mass murderer and war criminal, Calista is the first in a near endless plethora of encounters to make Sarang feel something, to make Sarang feel human in her inhumanity, make her fear for her life, make her reach for something deep within herself that she does acknowledge but not allow as much outlet as she thinks she does. Yes, Sarang is angry, yes she knows she deserves better, but even that instinct has begun mellowing out, numbing with time. The Sarang we meet today is much more... alive than the Sarang prior to meeting Calista. Sarang had set out to free herself and then nearly lost herself in the drag of routine carried on for centuries. Then, Calista came, powerful, angry, beautiful, and Sarang can't get her out of her head. She's the reason Sarang's fire burns again and no matter who she's with or what she does, she can only bite as fiercely and snarl this powerfully because Calista reinvigorated it within her.

Nakamura Suki (@kamipyre Ferre?? OMG Ferre~ it's you~ ♥) Another God-Tier character design that impacted Sarang two seconds after meeting her. It's violently implied, but did you know that Sarang doesn't have friends? That Sarang never had female friends? That Sarang never got to experience the epic highs and lows of casual friendships? Suki is violently important to her as a character because she's... well, to be honest, simply because of her personality, how she presents herself. Suki drags a part of Sarang out of her that hasn't existed since... before her death? Youthful Sarang, a Sarang who liked to play harmless pranks on San and gang up on him with Hui, who'd get scolded for getting dirty in the internal gardens, who's always been bad-ish at singing but enjoyed doing it in secret just because she was told it was a ginseng thing to do and a yangban lady should not favour the arts (she doesn't, but yknow). Suki makes her... young, energetic. Like she might be allowed to have fun.

Lee Hyuk (@jeoseungsaja ALEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Here is where Sarang truly gets to shine as the brat she's secretly capable of being. This connection, minute as it may be, AND OBVIOUSLY doesn't have to be official, he simply has impacted her, sticks to my brain like Glue™. Not only because I'm a huge hyurick fan and the idea that I get to interact with both involved parties in this very painful Black Knight verse via the same character, meaning Sarang has met both figures in this fantastic ship that has me glance through the window at you guys just sort of choking on how amazing y'all are, but Hyuk as a whole is completely unlike any personality type Sarang makes herself actively interact with over and over again. She puts up a lot of acts, but when it comes down to it, some just... tire her out. If she were forced to butt heads with Hyuk, she'd probably grow tired of it pretty fast. Truth is, though, she doesn't have to. She just likes messing with him. He's an interesting fella with the most stubbornly kept frown in the entire world, poking and prodding at him to see what might make him burst is fun. Going up to him to mess with his day is like... going to the beach on a day off. It's relaxing and fun. I'm so sorry Hyuk.

Amelia Sinclair (@astremourante Ami I lub you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH) Amelia is... -lies down on the floor- how will I ever be able to explain my feelings for her. Sarang and Amelia are... they're not exactly alike, but they have quite a few things in common that makes it violently interesting to see them face each other. The coping mechanisms, the being made into a weapon, the lack of female agency, the lack of escape, the using charm and physical promises to further goals, the violence. At the same time, though, their backgrounds are very different. Amelia did not have a SINGLE GOOD DAY in her childhood GODDAMMIT AMI; Sarang had been forced into fulfilling Womanhood in a way demanded of her during Joseon but she's never been... abused. Perhaps made to feel slightly lesser, or scolded with cold detachment, but she had a support group nonetheless, she had her older brother as pseudo-father figure, her pain starts when she's effectively an adult. Their trauma is violently different and as such, it impacts them differently, too. So, while they use similar social and actual weapons to fulfil the roles imposed on them, there's no actual guarantee that they'd understand each other as well as Sarang feels they might. There's chemistry here, if I may say that~ but there's also a fundamental misunderstanding on Sarang's part that she's figured Amelia out, or partly at least, that they're very much alike, that now she's just got to figure out who's going to win this game. She underestimates not Amelia herself, but the pain she went through, effectively fooled by how much work Amelia puts into not letting anyone see it. This makes this connection so very fking interesting because Sarang could learn something here, and also because I can't WAIT to see what Amelia's reactions to all this will be, I am obsessed with that woman oh god.

AND.... UH YEAH THIS POST IS GETTING LONG and I think I've covered connections/plots/threads I feel are deep enough that I'm allowed to yell about them, so.... thank you Ferre ♥

#;ooc #clemencetaught #I LOVE that url SO MUCH????? it's SO GOOD Ferre wtHEck #the success;about #uroborosymphony #astremourante #jeoseungsaja #pardon for tagging y'all but ♥♥♥#;answered

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rainydaycafe · 2 years

Text

Like Real People Do

Lawyer!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Original Female Character

Summary: James never thought about happiness too much, but stumbling into a bakery one evening promises to sweet his life in a new way with a bakery with a soft smile and kind words

Warnings: Well, James has a terrible relationship with his dad so jerk!dad alert, but other than that it’s sweet feelings and insecure!Bucky.

The dream of becoming an author, or even an editor at a nice publishing company was something Emilia had really banked on but eventually let go.

It had been her dream to have some physical representation of all of her thoughts and feelings. To have those be something people clung onto and enjoyed to read. Though, the older she got, the less she felt the pull towards that aspiration and the more she felt set on something else.

It was like an itch she could not quite ever scratch.

It was as though said itch had not been scratched since her dad had died when she was 15. The memories of her father teaching her to bake with such love and patience put through cupcakes, danishes, and just about anything he knew to bake. A thick recipe book in his handwriting was always open on the counter where he’d point and explain things to her, watching as she absorbed the information like a sponge.

But when he died, it was as though she couldn’t bear the thought of turning an oven on until her brother had taken her to grief counseling where it was okay to be sad, and it was okay to feel confused and all around lost about the loss of the person who made up half of her DNA suddenly being gone.

Nothing about your parents being gone is easy, and it never got easier but she got used to the dull hum she felt in her chest when she thought about him out of the blue. Most times she liked to believe that when that happened it was because he was thinking of her, too.

She did her time, and she got an undergraduate degree in English lit and she was proud of herself for reading endless amounts of Chaucer and analyzing countless poems from Keats but she needed more. She wanted more.

She wanted her dad to be somehow in her life, even if he was gone in all forms aside from her memories.

So she worked, and she worked hard as an editor for a small local publishing company in Colorado, but the days left her exhausted and the clients were less than kind.

However, she had gotten an idea in her head.

An idea that had been a fleeting thought that she hadn’t been able to let go of. It was always in the back of her mind, and she couldn’t quite let it go and chalk it up to a pipedream because it made her body thrum with excitement of the sheer potential of it all.

Which is how endless amounts of research and emails to leasing ads led her to Newburyport, Massachusetts one chilly morning receiving the key from the man selling with her brother, Blaine by her side.

After much deliberation, she had chosen to use the money her father had left for her to buy the bakery as well as get everything set up to have it up to par.

It was a two story brick building with the setup on the bottom meant for business while the second floor was an apartment which was wildly convenient. Overall, the place needed a bit of work in terms of getting it ready for business, but it was something she felt so proud and honored to have so she didn’t mind it at all.

The apartment was led up to by a flight of stairs in the back kitchen which led to the front door of her loft which was straight out of a dream.

With the coat closet directly to the right with a half restroom adjacent to the front door, the kitchen was directly to the left of the door. The kitchen was spacious and open, looking over the dining area where she had barstools set up facing the counter and a longer, light colored dining room table.

The table was before the living room area where Emilia had a sectional couch Blaine had insisted on buying her alongside the rug he insisted matched the entire feeling her home gave off. Blaine insisting on choosing the couch meant it was expensive, plush, and perfectly matched with the rug.

She and Blaine had set up the couch so it was facing the left wall with the TV mounted onto the wall after much struggle. Directly in front of the living room area was a large window where she had set up her desk where she found herself settling on long nights writing down bursts of ideas.

In the corner was a flight of stairs which led up to her loft bedroom, a dream she had only ever kept in the back of her mind but found fulfilled with the purchase of the building.

The stairs curved right where to the left was a nook Emilia had set up with short bookshelves and a couple of lovely love seats. To the right of the stairs was where she had her bedroom area, the headboard of her bed was pushed against the furthest left wall with a wardrobe against the far right wall.

To the left of her bed was an open closet area before it led into her restroom.

It had taken months and months to get everything right and to get it all to feel akin to home. Bookshelves here, record player underneath the stair area, and getting the little things fixed around such as having blankets in the right places and art hung on the right walls.

But after much work, it all felt like it was meant to be where it was and that’s all she had ever wanted.

_________________

James’ life was somber.

At least, that’s how he’d go about describing it if he were in need of providing an adjective to give a solid foundation regarding his life.

There was nothing particularly invigorating about his life, and he found himself feeling as though he were running on a monotonous treadmill that led him to feeling as though he were in a vicious cycle.

Sure he had a lot going for him at the age of 26, and he was well aware of that, but it wasn’t enough. It left him feeling empty after a long day but he couldn’t complain because in retrospect he was living an absolutely fulfilling and successful life.

An affluent upbringing with his powerful parents consisting of a litigator father who was a force to be reckoned with and a mother who was a well respected pediatric surgeon. Their life was more than comfortable and they oozed the upper class family feeling with every opportunity.

Their first and only son, James Buchanan Barnes, was their pride in joy as he excelled in lacrosse throughout his schooling, but was also academically gifted which the Royce Academy, a school which his parents dumped over $40,000 in tuition into, helped develop and turn him into a properly educated member of society.

They had the money, the status, the picture perfect life, but what else did they have?

Two successful parents meant two busy parents. Byron, his father, spent more time cooped up in his offices lining up this or that, or working up a case file. Victoria, his mother, practically lived at the hospital sometimes, though she was home more often, it wasn’t by much.

He had grown more than accustomed to spending evenings alone, and simply shrugging with a soft smile when other parents would ask about his own when they were missing from yet another varsity lacrosse game.

Eventually it came time to choose a major for his undergraduate degree and his father had led him into the study for a serious conversation.

When asked about his true interests, James knew better than to mention his appreciation for photography after his father had smashed his Canon AE-1 35mm after having received an A- on a chemistry midterm.

James had opted to tell him he wasn’t sure but he was debating between criminal law and business which earned a firm nod from his father.

His father wasn’t someone you argued with.

Byron continued on to tell James, “You will continue the family tradition and carry on the family legacy. You can come work with me at my firm or at another firm I approve of,” He told James who nodded and thanked him before heading up to his room.

He wished he could’ve said something, anything, but after years of getting his ass handed to him verbally and sometimes physically, he knew better than to test the waters with his father.

So he didn’t, and he shut his mouth and appreciated the fact that his father paid for his tuition, his housing, and other expenses without batting an eye for 6 years of school after high school.

Years of private school from preschool through high school went into breeding what Byron Barnes considered to be a mediocre man, at best.

James had managed to work hard enough to finish his undergrad degree in criminal law in three years after having successfully obtained enough dual enrollment credits in high school to have him enter as a sophomore during his freshman year of college.

Graduating from his father’s alma mater, Yale, by 21 and obtaining high marks on the LSAT meant he got his top choice of law school which was Columbia University’s law school where he passed the bar exam with flying colors.

By 24 he was working with Bryer’s and Barnes after his father had secured him a junior partner position before he could interview for one anywhere else.

He was too afraid to say no, so he took it.

So here he was, 26, successful, working for his father who was more domineering than ever but he was successful, all things considered.

He had a beautiful apartment with a beautiful view, a nice car, a well paid salary, expensive suits, nice shoes, and everything he could ever want.

But he felt empty and as though he were just going through the motions and attempting to avoid getting yelled at by his father at another faculty meeting in front of everyone. By this point he was certain his father got a deep sense of satisfaction from humiliating him in front of everyone when he got the chance.

It was early on that he had schooled his emotions around his father and he could take the verbal beating and nod before giving a smile to everyone else staring at him to let them know he was alright, and that it was all fine.

Most days he walked out of the office feeling defeated and as though he were on the verge of either crying or screaming, but he never did. He instead let himself memorize all of the flaws he had, and how they impacted his work and why he was such a disaster which led to his father acting how he did.

__________________

“This is garbage!” Walter yelled while standing from his mahogany desk, “Rewrite this, immediately, and have it on my desk by tomorrow afternoon. I will not be humiliated because you are handing in substandard work!” Slamming down the file, he gave James a disgusted look and James nodded before grabbing the file and heading out.

Ignoring the glances, he looked at the clock and felt elated because it was time to leave.

Heading into his office, he quickly collected his items and placed them into his satchel before saying goodbye to his assistant Miley and the receptionist, Lyra who had wished him a nice day.

Fishing out his keys after the elevator ride, he remembered he had parked down the street and around the corner because the parking lot had been closed for repaving and the closer parking spots along the sidewalk had been taken.

Walking, he forced himself to take deep breaths because he had worked so hard on forming the outline for his father’s most recent case and obtaining all of the information but it had still not been enough.

Nothing was ever enough, and he was sure that reflected on the way he saw himself as a person which was less than kind and more bad than good.

Crossing the street, he glanced into the shops he passed and smiled a bit at them before turning the corner and breathing a sigh of relief as he saw his car but as he reached his car, he looked up and saw a bookstore directly in front of where his car was parked, but to the right was something else.

The sign read Rainy Day Bakery which caught his attention.

He should get home, he should. He should work on redoing the argument but he had been craving something sweet so before he knew it he was crossing the street and looking into the place.

Pulling open the door, a bell chimed above his head and he looked around to see it was painted a very light yellow and it felt so cozy, and warm.

There were a few richly colored wooden tables around the sides and in the front had two large display cases side by side with the register to the right before a longer counter with a few stools there for seating.

Behind the front counter was a larger counter with other items such as an espresso machine but before he could see the rest, the double doors flew open and out came a woman holding a tray with both hands smiling at him.

He felt as though he were a huge goof because he was taken aback by the girl, but he tried to play it off.

But she didn’t say anything, she only smiled more when he returned the smile and she walked behind the display case where she filled the designated section with what seemed to be red velvet cupcakes.

James looked at his options but he couldn’t choose between the strawberry and cream cheese danish and the blueberry muffin.

“Let me just put this back in the kitchen and I’ll help you, okay?” She asked softly and James nodded mutely because she could have been the human embodiment of calm.

This entire place was the embodiment of calm, and it felt like a soft hug but when she returned he hadn’t chosen yet but he was starving.

“I- I can’t decide between the blueberry muffin and the danish,” He explained sheepishly and she smiled at him in understanding, “Well if it’s any consolation, they’re both delicious,”

James nodded and he knew he should be eating something that had protein because he had skipped lunch in favor of finishing the outline but he was too deep into this to leave.

Plus he didn’t want to leave because he wanted the girl behind the counter to smile at him forever but he quickly snapped himself out of it and opted for the Danish because he thought he was being annoying with all of this internalized debating.

“Wonderful choice…. Did you want a coffee to go alongside it?” She asked and James found himself nodding before asking for a vanilla cappuccino since he thought it’d compliment the danish well and she nodded dutifully.

She gestured with her hands as she told him to take a seat, but instead of sitting in the back corner as he would usually do anywhere else he sat himself in one of the stools alongside the counter and watched as she got everything together.

He didn’t know her name but he was sure it would be beautiful.

She wore a dark green knit sweater with a french tuck with a rose gold necklace, black jeans, and casual sneakers.

Did he blatantly stare at her ass when she turned around to the espresso machine? Yes, but he couldn’t help himself either.

Her chestnut brown hair was a bit below her shoulders in a half up half down way clipped in the back with a yellow clip. She was on the small side, shorter than him by quite a bit but he felt her sense of being was bigger than his.

Sooner than later, she walked over to him and placed his items in front of him, “I really hope you like them.” She told him sincerely and he found himself asking for her name because he needed to know, even if they never spoke again he just had to know.

“Emilia,” She told him, and it fit her so perfectly that when she asked him for hers he said, “James Buchanan Barnes,” instead of just James and he felt like such a fool-

“Oh, full names? Well then I am Emilia Mattea Pearson,” Emilia told him with a grin and he couldn’t help but grin back because he was stupid but she was as sweet as can be.

Looking down at the danish, he picked it up to take a bite and it was probably the most delicious thing to ever grace the Earth and when he looked up she was watching him with a small smile.

Swallowing, he wiped his mouth with a napkin, “That’s really delicious,” James told her, and the way she lit up…. Well he’d tell her everything she ever made was delicious if he were ever given the chance again.

She left him to eat, and he ate and sipped his coffee as he looked around and ignored the satchel on the seat next to him and all of the weight it left him with.

But before he knew, Emilia was returning with something else on a plate and she gently set it on the counter and slid it to him before explaining, “I figured you were hungry for something other than just a pastry considering you’re dressed so formally so I can only imagine you came here from an office-” She stopped herself and blushed, “Sorry, I’m rambling,”

Emilia flushed and this guy was so handsome and he had been so kind she couldn’t help herself but James shook his head.

“No, no. Don’t- thank you. I did come from work and I am hungry, but I couldn’t stop myself from coming here, you know? But don’t apologize for talking, I like it,” James told her and Emilia nodded, both of them looking at one another before James broke eye contact and looked at what she had brought him.

“It’s a turkey and cheese croissant,” She told him and James smiled for what felt like the hundredth time since he had come into this place, but he didn’t mind it all too much either.

Before long, he had finished his danish and coffee before tucking into his turkey and cheese croissant which didn’t last long either. He ate while watching Emilia who walked back and into the back kitchen and came out, wiped down counters, and did things while there was music playing in the background softly.

She let him eat in silence without bothering him, but when she saw he was done she quickly collected his dishes and thanked him for eating there but he told her the pleasure was all his.

Standing, he collected his satchel and slung it over his shoulder, noting how the memory of his father bearing down on him about his work made it feel heavier, but he ignored it in favor of retrieving his wallet and meeting Emilia in front of the register.

Paying, he handed her a $20 bill and dumped the change into the tip jar with a shrug, “It’s the least I can do for such a lovely pre-dinner meal,” James told her and Emilia handed him his receipt with a soft smile

Her smile shouldn’t be that welcoming, but it was.

Everything about her was welcoming and James found himself wanting to run directly into it after having met her only an hour before, but he couldn’t help himself. She was something else entirely.

But this was something he couldn’t risk, he couldn’t risk ruining things and leaving her damaged because he was damaged goods and not worth the effort.

Readjusting his bag, he nodded to her before saying, “Bye, Emilia. Thank you,” Though her words felt heavy on his tongue, Emilia nodded, “Thank you, James. I hope you come by again?” She spoke as more of a question at the end of her sentence and though he knew he should stay away and stop himself from becoming attached he found himself nodding.

“Of course. I’ll be back… Maybe tomorrow? Uh- it’s Friday and I get off early so I can come by tomorrow for lunch if that’s okay,” He stuttered out.

“That would be great. I’ll have new items tomorrow, I promise,”

One final glance at her and he bid her goodbye once more at the door before leaving, not noticing the way Emilia watched him look both ways before crossing the street and entering a sleek black car before pulling away from the curb.

But as he did pull away, and even though his satchel sat there with work to be redone, he found himself smiling a bit as he drove down the roads towards his apartment.

_______________

By late afternoon, James hadn’t come around and while she knew getting out of work early meant different things for different people, she had expected to see him coming around at about 2 or 3pm, but he hadn’t so she decided to get her mind off of it and handle her customers.

But when the bakery was empty, she found herself thinking of James and how he seemed so subdued in an abnormal way which let her know something was bothering him.

It might be friends, family, relationships, or even just life in and of itself, but something had James so down.

Though it did make her feel better when she remembered she had managed to make him smile a few times, a few sincere times and that was enough to make her feel as though she had been some type of help after all.

It was around 6:30pm and she was thinking about closing since it had been slowing down but when she looked up from the display case she saw James pulling the door open looking exhausted. He looked as though he was ready to just sink into the ground beneath him.

He walked in and took a deep breath before walking over to the display case where Emilia watched him quietly but carefully, worried about him because he seemed so sad today.

“Can I have the caramel praline cheesecake, please?” He asked and Emilia nodded, gesturing for him to sit down. She watched as he practically dragged his feet over to where he sat the day prior, setting his satchel down with a dull thump onto the stool next to his own.

It was quiet while she got everything ready, making sure to make him an extra hot vanilla caramel macchiato, quickly setting it in front of him before getting a good look at him face to face.

“Hi James,” She said as he took his first sip, smiling a bit before looking at her and saying, “Hi Emilia, how are you?”

“I am good. Better now that you’re here,” Emilia told him sincerely and he froze a bit at the comment, not expecting it but he tried to play it off as best he could. Was she really glad he was there or was she just being polite?

She had to just mean it in a polite way.

“How are you?” Emilia asked him and watched as he thought for a moment before answering.

“Long day at work,” James responded and Emilia felt as though maybe he did want to talk about it, but he needed to be prompted to do so, so she did.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m a good listener, I promise,”

He took a bite of the cheesecake and a sip of coffee before nodding, “Uh- I was supposed to be out of the office by 2:00 or 2:30 at the latest but my boss was unhappy with my rewritten argument outline and work so he made me rewrite it again, and then edit it again,” He explained, remembering the words his father had spoken word for word.

“I simply do not understand what I paid so much in tuition for if you are incompitent and unable to form a clear and concise argument- even after I told you to rewrite it because it was weak.” Byron yelled and James lowered his head.

“You have the audacity to hand me this piece of utter garbage as rewritten work? This is shit. I expect this level of work from a fifth grade, not a 26 year old attorney! You embarrass me!” Byron continued, “Did you even try?”

James looked up and nodded, “I did try. I tried a lot. My best.” He responded but his father slammed his hand on the desk and shook his head, “Then your best isn’t enough. Rewrite it, get it done better, make sure it isn’t complete shit before even coming near me with that again…. And you can forget about getting out early if you’re going to fuck around,”

It had taken another try, albeit only a few edits but his father had only pointed to the door when he approved of the final file.

“I’m so sorry, James,” Emilia said, stepping forward a bit, “I’m sure your work was spectacular…. Where do you work?”

Swallowing his mouthful of coffee, he gestured lightly with his head back, “Bryer’s and Barnes law firm,” Looking up, he saw the recognition of his last name and the firm’s name and she tilted her head.

“I’m guessing your last name being Barnes isn’t just a coincidence?”

James shook his head with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Not at all. My dad is the current owner and head partner, but it was started by my great great grandfather way back when,” He told her and she understood.

“So it’s a family tradition to be a lawyer?” Emilia asked and she suddenly remembered the sandwich she had for James in the kitchen and she felt excited to have him try it since she was experimenting a bit with his taste buds.

James nodded again, “It is. But considering the way my father reacts to my work, I would say the natural knack for being an attorney skipped a generation,” James finished the sentence with a humorless laugh, but Emilia didn’t like how he used himself as the butt of a joke.

“Don’t say that. I’m sure you’re a fantastic attorney and I’m sure you excel. Parents are… parents are tough sometimes.”

Looking up, he saw she looked worried and that was the last thing he wanted so he nodded in agreement, “I’ll take your opinion to heart,” He told her as he patted his chest with his right hand.

She grinned and told him she’d return before she quickly went to the back to warm up the sandwich she had made for him in the broiler, leaving James to watch her as she left.

It had been an awful day and he wanted nothing more than to burrow into his bed and never leave again, simply withering away but at least it was Friday. Plus, Emilia had looked so happy to see him, so it was like a balancing act of that day.

Soon enough, she returned and she pushed another sandwich towards him, explaining that it was a mozzarella and tomato sandwich with avocado on a nice french baguette.

“You treat me too well,” James said pulling the plate towards him and Emilia bounced on her heels watching him take a bite which of course, was heaven on Earth, and he told her as such.

She clapped her hands together but was distracted by the bell above the door ringing and in walked a man and his son, his son quickly ran over to the display case and Emilia excused herself for a second as she went over to tend to her customers.

James sat and watched, smiling to himself despite his awful day as he watched Emilia’s soft mannerisms with them and the way she was patient with the kid who couldn’t make up his mind about the brownie or the cupcake.

Emilia chatted with the father who told her they had spent the afternoon at the park since he had gotten 100% on his spelling test which compelled Emilia to slide in a chocolate chip cookie for the kid as a reward before closing the box.

She was just so… kind and he couldn’t help but compare Emilia to something cozy and welcoming.

Soon enough though, they were on their way and Emilia watched them with a bit of a sad look but soon enough, it was gone and she was back standing in front of him, watching him but he didn’t feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

“How do you like being an attorney?” Emilia asked and James pondered for a bit before answering, “It’s a good job, it pays well and it lets me have a comfortable life,” He said, and Emilia knew it sounded rehearsed so she shook her head.

“No, I mean how do you like it? Do you like what you do?” She asked before realizing it was really quite the personal question and she apologized, “Oh- I’m so sorry, that’s such a personal question,”

But James assured her it was fine, “Don’t worry, it’s not. You’re uh- you’re easy to talk to… As for my job, it's fine. I don’t dislike it, it fills my days up with things to do so it’s alright,”

Before silence could consume them, Emilia’s phone started ringing on the counter behind her and she excused herself when she saw it, said Blaine, quickly answering it as she moved away from James to be polite.

He tried to not listen, but even though he did listen for a bit of it he didn’t really understand but Emilia told whoever was on the other end about a couch and a rug before they said goodbye.

That is what really stuck to him.

“Yes I will take care of it, Blaine. I love you too, bye,” She said before she hung up and set her phone down.

Did she have a boyfriend? Of course she had a boyfriend,

There was no way that anyone like Emilia; so sweet, so pretty, so… perfect, would be single. Especially with all of the customers she got on a daily basis, she was bound to be involved with someone.

As she turned back to James who had set down his sandwich and seemed to be full of thoughts.

“Is that um-” James tried to stutter out, but Emilia was patient as she rested along the counter behind her, “Was that your boyfriend, I mean,” He said as he gestured towards her phone.

Emilia laughed.

She let out a genuine laugh, but James knew it was directed towards him or even at him as he let himself listen to her laugh so hard she was wheezing for a second before she regained her composure and stood up straight.

“Sorry, sorry,” She said as she huffed a breath before she explained, “No. That was my brother, Blaine. He helped me move here and he left a sweatshirt that I’m holding hostage because I want to keep it,”

It all made sense and James felt the slightest bit foolish for ever asking the question.

“Sorry, I’m being nosey,” James said as he picked up his sandwich, but Emilia wasn’t letting him apologize as she waved him off with a smile.

“Not at all, being nosey is how you get to know people,” She told him as she reached for a rag behind her, “But no, I don’t have a boyfriend? Do you? Have a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

Emilia was twisting it as James chewed his sandwich before answering, “No. No girlfriend,” He affirmed, smiling back at Emilia looked satisfied with the answer before she busied herself with fixing the display case as he finished off the sandwich.

Before long James was finished paying and found himself standing in front of Emilia with the counter separating them but the smile Emilia sent him made him feel close to her.

“I’ll see you next week?” Emilia asked, resting her hands on the counter, pushing herself up a bit and James nodded quickly.

“I’ll be here. I promise,” He confirmed before he sent one final smile to her with a wave before heading out to go to his apartment where he would spend the rest of his evening alone with his trusty confidant: Alpine.

But somehow it seemed less lonely because he had something akin to friendship, right?

_________________

He tried to stay away.

It wasn’t logical, perhaps, but he couldn’t allow himself to get attached.

He was something to be held at arm’s length, and he had been shown that his entire life so it was only a matter of time until that was demonstrated and he ruined things.

James knew he had a habit of making a mess of things, and it was represented in every aspect of his life from his work to the way his father treated him. All of the wrongdoings he had once done always came back to bite him, and he couldn’t fathom hurting Emilia because he was too much of a mess.

As much as he found himself wanting to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Emilia he stayed away.

That was until Wednesday.

He had been avoiding it at all costs. He couldn’t go back in there and allow himself to find comfort in a person because it somehow made leaving all that much more dreadful.

It was dangerous to become attached to someone like James.

But when he had been eviscerated by his father for mentioning an alternate route on an argument he couldn’t fathom going home alone again.

He was finally able to escape work at nearly 7 after hours and hours of fake smiles he passed onto everyone like a robot. In a reflection of his inner turmoil, the sky was opened up and drowning the world in cold rain that had him soaked in no time.

He let his feet take him where they would as he jogged and loosened his tie with the hand not holding the briefcase he could cease to never see again because he felt his tie was threatening to choke him, but as if the universe were attempting to body slam him into an early grave: when he tugged on the cafe door it was locked.

Sighing, he wiped rain out of his eyes and sighed, but Emilia was suddenly pulling open the door, taking hold of his hand as she ushered him in before locking the door behind them once more.

“You’re soaked,” She said as she reached out to touch his hair, “Come on, I- I closed but you can- Jesus, just come on.”

Allowing her to take him by the hand, she led him around the counter he had been missing from for days, through the kitchen which was spotless, and up the stairs to a front door but all James was attached to was the fact that she was holding his hand.

They entered what had to be her apartment, and he took it all in as he stood in his soaked shoes before quickly kicking them off.

“I’ll be right back,” She told him dutifully before heading to her bedroom leaving James to look around her apartment.

The only way he could describe it was with the word “warm”. It was so well decorated, and it had such beautiful lighting with everything fitting together in a way his didn’t.

Where his apartment looked like it was straight out of a living magazine, top end furniture with everything expensive, hers just looked like an actual home with someone with a soul living there.

But she was soon returning with a bright smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything that will fit you,” She apologized to him, “Well I do have shirts but not pants.”

“Don’t apologize.” He told her as he took the towel she offered, letting her usher him to one of the barstools as he wiped off his face.

Much to his surprise, she began drying off his hair with a genuine softness he hadn’t encountered since God knows when. But soon enough she was collecting the towels and letting them dry on one of the chairs.

“I could’ve just grabbed a couple of kitchen towels,” She said in retrospect as she walked around the counter, “But the bathroom ones are so much softer,”

James grinned at her, “I’m sorry for showing up after closing looking like a homeless dog,” He apologized sheepishly but Emilia wasn’t hearing any of it as she waved him off.

“No, I’m glad you’re here. It makes me glad to know you’re alive and that you haven’t forgotten about me,” She informed him as she grabbed a couple of oven mitts from a drawer and put them on, opening the oven door to take something out.

Her dinner.

James felt so impolite and out of place, he began apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry for just barging in on you during dinner,” He said as he tried to stand, Emilia reaching over the counter to gently pull him back down, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner,”

“Stop apologizing, I’m glad you’re here, okay? I like spending time with you,” She insisted with a smile that James was certain could derail a burglary, “I was downstairs because I forgot to shut off the register’s computer but it was good timing because I was there for your arrival,”

She gathered two plates alongside a serving spoon with a deft skill developed only through repetition before asking, “I made baked ziti. Do you like ziti?”

“I’ll eat anything you make,” He confessed, a blush coating his cheeks but Emilia just preened at his comment, serving him a healthy portion before handing it over to him before doing the same for herself.

They were soon eating, James barely containing a moan at how delicious it tasted.

“Why are you standing up?” He finally asked as Emilia was standing across from him, but she just shrugged with an easy smile.

“I like standing while eating sometimes, it’s good for digestion or something,” She told him as she gestured with her fork, “Do you like it?”

He nodded vigorously, “It’s delicious. I- thank you, Emilia. I’m sorry I’ve been…. Absent,” He apologized as he looked down towards the yellow plate before him, spearing a few pieces of pasta with his fork.

“Don’t apologize for working and being otherwise occupied. You’re here now and that’s what matters, right?”

James didn’t respond but he gave her a lopsided smile that sent more butterflies in her stomach than could be contained within a museum. The silence between them was comfortable, almost like a blanket on a chilly day.

Before long they were both finished, James insisting on washing the dishes as Emilia stood nearby and asked about his day where she saw his physical reaction to his job being mentioned.

He became tense and uneasy, telling her his job was truly making him unhappier than he bothered to let on.

“It was… work,” James said before sighing in defeat, unable to find the will to put up a front, “It was fucking terrible. I- I suggested an alternate route of argument and use of information and my dad flipped out and just went off so that really dampened my mood,”

She listened dutifully as James told her what had happened, telling her the harsh words spoken to him by the very many whose sole responsibility was to love him unconditionally and support him.

“Oh James,” Emilia said as she moved to stand beside him and take the plate he was clutching in his hand out of his tight grip, setting it onto the drying rack but instead of asking how he felt- that much was obvious- she interlocked her left arm with his right and pulled him along, “Come on, I’ll give you a tour.”

That cracked a smile out of him as she took him around, the seemingly unbearable weight that had been on his shoulders was soon anything but there.

“These are my photos, I thought they looked nice on the wall and on the bookshelves,” She told him as she showed him the photos of her family, explaining every photo he pointed to in curiosity regarding the backstory.

There was one hung on the wall where the TV was mounted, it was obviously a younger version of Emilia, no older than four on the hip of a man who could only ever be her father given the similarities.

Their same eyes, beautiful smiles, and genuine happiness on the beach behind them.

“That’s my dad,” Emilia said as she gently traced a finger on the photo, “That day; my dad packed us for the beach instead of school and we drove out to the bay where we spent the entire day together just doing whatever we felt was right,”

James smiled at the photo, seeing all of her father in her in such a beautiful feminine way.

“Are you two still close?” He asked.

Emilia stared at the picture a bit longer before blinking herself out of the trance she was in and she turned to James with a sad smile.

“He passed away when I was fifteen, and all it took was a drunk driver on a late night,” Emilia explained, “But I owe everything to him. Everything I want, I have, and that’s because of him,”

He asked her what she meant and she gestured around with her hands.

“All of this is thanks to him…. I went to college and majored in English and while I loved it there was always this pull towards something else, something more,” She began explaining, “Growing up my dad loved to cook, and he always had me with him, telling me about this and that while he was cooking. This made me just gravitate towards the kitchen to be alongside him which is where he taught me to bake and to cook,”

Moving back towards a table she had underneath the staircase, she pulled out a thick brown book and set it on the dining room table.

“He left us some money when he passed away, and I used it to buy this building, fix it up, create a home as well as a business. I named it after his favorite song because he always told me that baked goods were especially good on rainy days,” Emilia opened up the book and showed him the handwritten recipes, “I couldn’t even turn on an oven or a stovetop after he died, but he opened up my life to this huge opportunity and I couldn’t let it go,”

James was quiet as he gently took in all that this book meant to Emilia, all of the memories that had to be within every single page because in a sense, this was a physical reminder of her father.

“That’s so beautiful, are these all of his recipes?”

“No,” Emilia shook her head, “These are some, but there are three others over there too. He was diligent about writing his recipes down because he always said that he could be the next Barefoot Contessa,”

That earned a laugh from James who watched as Emilia put it away before turning to him with a smile.

“He sounds… unbelievable,” He told her as they met on his side of the table, “I’m sorry for your loss but it sounds like he left you with enough to keep him alive,”

Emilia agreed, pointing towards one of her which had to be recent with her arms wrapped around someone who was wearing glasses, both of them grinning towards the camera as his hands were holding onto her forearms.

“That’s my brother, Blaine,” She explained, “He’s three years older and he is the coolest guy you’ll ever meet,”

They went through the photos, and she seemed so happy as she spoke of her family and a few friends she had photos with.

So carefree and pretty, James had to stop himself from grabbing her face and kissing her but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do that to himself and most importantly; he couldn’t do it to her. It would be so easy to ruin things, and it would only be a matter of time for him to demolish this as well so he didn’t.

Instead, they finished up the tour and James’ clothing was sufficiently dry to sit on the couch with Emilia who was searching for something for them to watch, James amicable to anything she wanted.

They settled on Gilmore Girls after James had confessed to never having watched it which Emilia told him was sacrilegious of him.

Soon, the memory of James’ bad day, bad week, and monotone life was just a distant memory as they spoke comfortably with one another; getting to know one another on a deeper level. James spoke of his life and his upbringing, though with less openness than Emilia who did the same at James’ request.

She told him of her mother, her brother, her father, and her upbringing in northern California. In some ways it made James stomach clench in indescribable ways because his childhood couldn’t have been more opposite.

Where she had love and affection, raising someone who welcomed people- even him- with open arms, ready for just about anything James had been raised to be quiet and shut off from people, closing himself off because that was how a man was. Though with her he didn’t want that, he wanted to just be free with her but he had to hold himself back.

They decided to watch a movie instead of watching Gilmore Girls since they seemed keen on talking over it, settling on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Through the movie and their chats, they moved closed together until they were close enough for Emilia to rest her head on his arm after they had been quiet for a bit, sleep taking over her and leaving her to lean on James.

He was suddenly tremendously aware of how well she fit alongside him as he let her rest, careful not to make any sudden moves because he didn’t want to wake her.

Forgoing the movie, he opted for leaning his head back and allowing himself to take in all of the feelings she brought out in him, feelings he had never allowed himself to with someone because of this or that.

Too busy with lacrosse practice, too busy with undergrad, then law school, then now it was too much with his work.

But in reality it was being too busy and too preoccupied with the fear of becoming attached to someone and the vulnerabilities that came with that.

The fear of maybe, just maybe having something wrong with him.

Something wrong enough to have his own father treat him like garbage, enough to have his mother’s apathy prevail, and wrong enough to be this unlovable man who just wasn’t cut out for having an earth shattering love from someone perfect.

Someone like Emilia.

But for now he allowed himself to hope and simmer in what it would be like if he were just normal and not afraid of the brutality a relationship could bring out.

Years of subduing his emotions had taught him that, but sometimes emotions still won out as he felt his eyes burn with unshed tears as he looked towards the ceiling of Emilia’s apartment because fuck he was tired of holding it all in.

Suddenly Emilia was moving and instead of waking up, she moved closer and towards his neck, prompting James to wrap his arm around her to keep her there.

His thoughts were silenced at the warm weight, minutes passed and they were unaccounted for on either of their ends.

Waking up an hour later, Emilia woke up to the strong presence of what she had grown to known as James’ cologne before it all came flooding back to her and she just jumping out of his arms, her face blushing bright red.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry,” She said as she hid her face in her hands, “That’s so embarrassing, I’m sorry I just fell asleep on you like some creep on a subway.”

“Stop it, you’re not some creep on a subway, Emilia,” James said as he moved his arm around a bit to regain some circulation.

Sighing, Emilia nodded though her blush was still prevalent on her face as she reached for the coffee table to check the time which made James realize he was more than likely overstepping his welcome by a large margin.

Finally saying their goodbyes, James was startled when Emilia wrapped her arms around him at the door where he wrapped his own arms around her before he made his way to his car.

His drive home was full of thoughts, his mind reeling with that entire day and what he had felt as he gripped his steering wheel with more force than was necessary

One thing was for certain, however.

He was completely enamored by Emilia, but that was a surprise because it was almost impossible to fathom someone who would be unable to fall for Emilia.

All that she was could be summarized by the word “warm”. She was all James could hope to have in his life, to any extent, but he knew his feelings were beyond those of a dear friend or a loyal customer.

Slamming the door shut behind him, he knew that he had never been one to believe in love at first sight, chalking it up to an old wive’s tale or something that’s one in a million yet here he was. Here he was feeling as though he were drowning in his vastly empty apartment.

The same apartment he had worked hard for, gone to years of prestigious schools and having nothing but the best at the cost of his self esteem and mental health.

He was taken out of his thoughts by a soft headbutt aimed at his shin by his truest confidant.

Alpine was demanding attention, allowing herself to be scooped up by James who led them into the kitchen which felt so much colder than it ever had, the only warmth in this apartment was Alpine.

“I think you’d like Emilia,” James told her as he took out her cat food, “Her apartment, too. There’s so much to like,”

Dumping Alpine’s food into her bowl, he set them both down as he thought about how in over his head he was, how much he wished things were different, but most of all he wished he had the ability to be normal and grant himself the possibility of obtaining a little hope with Emilia.

To just allow himself to feel without waiting for the subsequent blow that always came along.

Unbeknownst to him, Emilia was in her own apartment with her mind reeling with nothing but James.

How he had stepped into her bakery with a hundred yard stare she had only ever seen in herself after her father died and before the pain minimized.

But she had managed to crack a smile out of him, then another, and it all flowered so well together. He was intelligent, soft spoken, and it looked like he just needed someone to listen to him and perhaps and safe haven away from his very own life.

Though she wouldn’t deny the way she was drawn to him, one moment of eye contact during their first encounter was enough to draw her in and leave her wanting more, subsequently leaving her disappointed when she didn’t see him for a few days.

Love hadn’t been a top priority for her, having taken her father’s words to heart when he told her true love had no timeline and that she was destined for a soulmate but it would come when they both needed it the most.

James seemed so sad, his mood always set as a bare simmer but she was always able to have him leave with an extra pep in his step.

It was easy with them, but it was obvious James held back from really telling her how he felt but she’d let him open up to her when he felt it was right, let him come to her when he felt he really needed to get away from the negativity his life provided.

He was also tremendously handsome, God, his steel blue eyes paired with his dark mid length hair was enough to make any woman stutter. Combined with his broad shoulders, well worked body, and extended height… well that didn’t hurt either.

Of course she wanted things to be simple, for both of them to be open with their emotions but sometimes it was more difficult for people to open up. From what he had confessed about his father, it was evident he didn’t take his own emotions into consideration, setting them aside and ignoring them for the sake of his own sanity and to keep up appearances.

It would happen when it needed to happen, but regardless she refused to allow James to slip out of her lift and into his own loneliness again.

_________________________

This is the way things continued alongside the weather dropping.

James would visit, spend as much time as he wanted or could alongside Emilia who was always eager to have him there in her company.

The more he visited, the more he felt, the more he felt, the more afraid he became.

He had fallen for Emilia hard without the ability to find himself staying away for too long because he somehow felt himself worsen when he was away, and the bitter contentment with the fact that all they would ever be was friends was better than being away completely.

“What’re you doing for thanksgiving?” Emilia had asked one evening as they shared a slice of strawberry cheesecake, James shrugging and telling her that his parents were having a large dinner party but that he had made up an excuse to stay away from his family as much as he could.

Which is how he found himself standing outside of Emilia’s home at 7:30 in the morning on Thanksgiving day after Emilia had given him puppy dog eyes and asked if he wanted to spend it with her.

“Come on, we have much to do,” Emilia told him as she took his hand and led him to the back kitchen where much to his surprise, there was already someone there.

Well two someones, actually.

The guy from her photos, her brother Blaine, was there with a toddler on his hip spinning in circles until he noticed their arrival.

“Hi! I’m Blaine,” He introduced brightly, making his way around the large center counter to shake his hand, “It’s so nice to meet you, James. Emilia speaks of you so much…. This is Maya,”

Still surprised, he shook Blaine’s hand mutely before regaining his foot and speaking to them, “It’s nice to meet you too,” He said as he looked around the kitchen where Emilia was shutting a box of something.

“We have a lot of work to do, but instead Blaine is eating the rejected cookies.” Emilia explained as she lifted a pumpkin pie into another yellow box before shutting it and writing on the top.

Blaine grinned and set Maya down, grabbing the tupperware container from the counter behind him and offering them to James saying, “Some of them have oatmeal so it’s like eating breakfast oatmeal,” He reasoned, James smiled and took one without much hesitation.

“We don’t actually have work,” Emilia admitted with a smile towards James, “I’m closed today but I took orders so I have to hand them out when they arrive,”

Blaine studied James as he munched on his cookie before asking, “How attached are you to the traditional Thanksgiving ideology?”

“I’m not too attached, it’s a bit odd, isn’t it?” James answered after a bit of pondering, “But why do you ask?”

Setting aside the boxed pie, Emilia shared a grin with Blaine that James thought looked suspiciously excited.

“Well we have a tradition where we pick an all day dessert or two and we just spend the day together baking,” She explained “But we don’t do turkey or anything, we always just for a nice drive, order Thai or Italian food for dinner then enjoy our desserts,”

That seemed like genuine fun to James, his face lighting up like a child as he nodded at the thought of spending the entire day with Emilia as well as her brother who seemed to be a really cool guy.

Suddenly it seemed as though Thanksgiving and major holidays weren’t so rotten and so far from fun.

_________________

The entire day was filled with helping Emilia box up orders, getting to know Blaine, wielding Maya who was attached to his leg for a good portion of the time, and just having a good time.

He couldn’t remember a holiday where he had laughed so much and enjoyed himself with those he was with. Holidays were something he dreaded and often felt a pit of anxiety because of, but here he was enjoying himself.

Their brunch had consisted of omelets thanks to Blaine who had accompanied it with bacon, James smiling as Emilia shared hers with Maya.

Both siblings had insisted James pick the dessert which had him opting for cinnamon rolls which had Blaine cheering after peeking over James’ shoulder to see what he had chosen, Emilia rolling her eyes at her brother.

“You can mix the sugar and butter,” Emilia told James as she slid over the ingredients to him, his eyes lighting up as he took the rubber spatula and poked the softened butter.

Blaine's eyes widened at that, narrowing them, “You’re letting him help you? Last time I tried to help you, you grabbed my arm with a hot oven mit!” Blaine accused, but Emilia made an innocent face.

“You were eating all of the frosting for the cookies,” She told her brother as she subconsciously helped James pack the brown sugar into the measuring cup, “Plus I had told you to watch the cookies but you let the first batch burn,”’

Blaine huffed but smiled at Emilia and James despite himself, watching as she monitored the way he mixed together the ingredients as she rolled out the proved dough with a well floured rolling pin, Blaine the only one without a task.

Growing up Emilia had attempted to have Blaine learn to bake with her but he just didn’t have the self control to avoid eating the frosting or the delicious dough before it was cooked so he opted to let Emilia manage the baking.

There was something between both Emilia and James, that much was obvious, but it seemed they were taking it slow.

“So Blaine, can I ask what your family is up to today?” Blaine asked casually as he scrubbed the mixing bowl as his designated duty to clean up while they waited for the cinnamon rolls.

James paused his movements where he was wiping off the counter with a damp rag, attempting to figure out how to word things while Emilia watched him with worried eyes to see how he was going to take the question.

“They’re having a dinner party,” James told him, “But uh- I don’t really like spending too much time with them, you know? It’s rocky.”

Thankfully, Blaine seemed to be just as understanding as Emilia.

“I hear you, man,” He told James as he held up his sponge, “Families are complicated for some people, Emilia and I got lucky but we were always raised to open our home and family to people so I’m glad you’re here, James,’

Finding he was staring at Blaine, he finally snapped himself out of his trance and he nodded a few times as he swallowed hard.

“Thanks, Blaine. That means a lot to me.” James confessed, Blaine’s nod was casual as he continued to wash the dishes but Emilia noticed how stunned he seemed by the confession which had her making her way over to him, resting her hand on his as she gave it a reassuring squeeze.

He squeezed her hand back, the remaining tension that he hadn’t been able to feel dissipated disappeared from his body as he enjoyed the evening with the two siblings.

By the time they had eaten their fill of Thai food, cinnamon rolls, and watched all that they could one single day, James had to admit he had never had such a fun holiday. Perhaps the holidays when his grandparents were still alive were comparable, but even then he favored this thanksgiving above all others.

James thanked Emilia with a soft smile for the day after she had insisted on walking him out to his car with the smile that had been on her face all day was still unwavering.

“No, thank you for coming,” Emilia told him as they stood on the sidewalk next to James’ car, “I’m so glad you came, it was amazing having you here alongside Blaine.”

“I was really nervous seeing your brother, but you guys are just so welcoming and fun to be around.” James admitted.

The smile on Emilia’s face somehow managed to grow, she felt herself unable to hold back as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around James’ middle tightly.

He paused for a moment, taken aback by the sudden affection but he was soon wrapping his own arms around her just as tightly, resting his cheek atop hers as she rested her head along his shoulder with her face in his neck.

Unbeknownst to both of them, Blaine was peeking through the window to see whether or not they would kiss though the hug didn’t disappoint him either. The entire day has been very telling regarding their feelings towards one another, but he hadn’t been sure about where they were exactly.

Emilia let go first, James would have hugged her until the sunrise but he also let go, taking in the last of her warm perfume before smiling down at her.

“Please get home safe, alright? I’ll be open tomorrow should you want to come around, alright?”

He nodded, his heart ready to burst as he told her he’d see her soon before making his way over to his car with Emilia’s watchful eye on him. She waved as he drove away, watching until he drove away and out of sight.

Entering her apartment, Blaine wolf whistled from where he sat on the couch.

“A hug? You two are sure to get arrested for public indecency,” Blaine teased Emilia rolling her eyes at him as she kicked off her Birkenstocks and began heading over to her brother to divulge her feelings about James and how to go about them.

A couple of blocks away, James was sitting in his car stopped at a red light thinking about how absolutely screwed he was.

He was absolutely and irrevocably in love with Emilia and there were few things in his life that had even gotten a jolt out of him like this one. A jolt of realization, the sudden feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach and getting caught in your throat all at once alongside your blood going freezing cold.

The honk from the car behind him announced to him that the light had turned green, but even when he accelerated down Briggs Ave. he still found his thoughts and heart stuck back a couple of blocks away.

Few things in life were easy, and being around Emilia was one of the easiest things James had ever gone about yet it also seemed to be the most detrimental.

____________________

Hope is a finicky thing, and James was well aware of that.

He was more aware of that than anything else in his life because hope had given him seldom in life.

The brutality of the reality of things was something he was more than accustomed to with his parents and upbringing shielding him from poverty but not much else.

Thanksgiving weekend dripped away and before long they were in December where the weather had soon dropped into inhumanely cold temperatures where the only solace James ever found from the coldness of the weather and his thoughts were alongside Emilia.

The first week of December had been a simple enough one for James until he had gotten in a verbal altercation with his father regarding whether or not James was to take on an assigned case.

It was simple in his eyes, he wasn’t going to defend a high school student facing real time in prison for smashing into a mother’s vehicle while street racing. However to Byron it was also simple: James did what he said, but he had never received such a headstrong from his son.

“You have to take on whatever case is presented to you.” Byron had demanded in his office, James knowing that the entire office was listening in on this argument but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to stand up for another kid identical to the ones he had gone to school with.

The ones with lack of empathy, remorse, or the ability to think selflessly because he had fought long and hard to never become one so he sure as hell wouldn’t defend on.

His father had ground him down into nothing but he wouldn’t go against the little belief he had in himself about being a kind person.

Though he had stood his ground, earning less than kind words from his father ending with the coined phrase, “I am so disappointed in you.” Which stung less and less every time he used it until now it was nothing but a dull ache that followed him.

“Trust me, I know.” James had told him before stepping out of his father’s office, the weight of the not-so-subtle stares from assistant, partners, and clients were less than comforting but the dull ache followed him for only a few steps.

Fridays meant leaving early, and by 2:30 James was escaping the office with a quick goodbye to the receptionist before he made his way over to perhaps eat his weight in cheesecake or danishes.

What he hadn’t expected was for Emilia to be preoccupied with something, or someone namely.

It didn’t bother James of course, she was a business owner and she chatted with everyone she needed to.

Spotting James, she continued the conversation about what seemed to be tips on baking chocolate chip cookies as she went over to the display to grab him a slice of blueberry cheesecake before preparing his coffee without having to be asked.

Taking his seat at his usual spot along the counter, he thanked her with a smile he knew didn’t completely reach his eyes, a concerned look growing on her face but she turned back to the other man.

He didn’t listen in much in favor of drinking his piping hot coffee with his cake after Emilia had set it down for him.

God, he wished this guy would leave so the place could be empty. He needed it to be empty so he could tell her about his day and the reason behind why he looked as though he had just gotten his ass handed to him.

But wasn’t that so selfish? Selfish to want to vent to her again, tell her about his stupid life again when he had it pretty good. Sure his father was an asshole and his emotions were everywhere but that wasn’t her problem to solve, was it?

Why did he feel the need to run to her when they were nothing more than friends? Were they even friends or was he just breaking the customer-seller boundary again and again without Emilia finding it within herself to tell him that she really didn’t care.

What made it even more sad was the way his heart would do something like a kickflip whenever she’d glance at him from where she was still speaking to the guy who had been there the entire time.

Fumbling out of his thoughts, he listened in at the moment he later assumed fate needed him to listen in on.

“So, see you Saturday evening?” The man asked, James’ heart stuttering in a less than comforting way as he blanched.

Was it a date?

“Yeah, see you then, Nate.” Emilia confirmed with one of her grand smiles James had foolishly thought she had only ever reserved for him after weeks and weeks of… this.

Of James coming in and dumping his emotions on her, both of them going back and forth but it must be so exhausting for her to have him go in again and again, knowing he was lonely.

Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard at the realization as he fumbled to stand and grab his briefcase as he remembered he needed to pay for everything.

Blindly grabbing his wallet, he pulled out a random denomination of bills hoping it was enough to cover the tab without speaking a word.

Heading to the door, he nearly bumped into the man who had made plans with Emilia, almost as though fate wanted to rub it into his face that he had made a date with Emilia before James could do anything but pine from the sidelines.

“James?” Emilia asked worriedly from her side of the counter before he could exit, “Where are you going? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just have to go, sorry for always barging in here on you but have fun on Saturday.” He told her with a falsely bright voice, heading out towards his car leaving Emilia utterly confused.

Picking up his dishes she saw he had eaten less than half of his cake though his coffee was all but gone from the mug leaving her worried about what the hell was going on.

Why had he apologized?

___________________

As the younger sibling, Emilia had one talent and it was being profoundly stubborn.

The gnawing worry she felt for James had done anything but subsided after his quick exit, prompting her to call him again and again until he answered her fifth call and third text by the time she had flipped her sign from ‘Open’ to ‘Closed’ at 7pm.

It hadn’t been easy to have him agree to go back, though with the promise of a listening ear as she decorated 140 cupcakes for an elementary school aged party for the following morning.

“So what was your grand escape about?” Emilia asked when James’ hands were busy mixing pastel yellow frosting for her, knowing it was easier to open up when you weren’t directly focused in on opening up.

There was silence in the kitchen aside from the music Emilia seemed to always have playing when she baked.

She didn’t push, allowing him to go at his own pace after manhandling him and convincing him to go.

“I came to the realization that I come around here a lot and constantly dump things on you about my day. It must be so exhausting for you because you have so many other things to do.” James told her as he added another drop of food gel as he attempted to get the pastel yellow Emilia was going for.

Finishing her blue swirl, she set down her piping bag and looked at him, “You do realize that I do the same to you, right? We’re meant to help one another but I can assure you that you do not bug me. Not today, yesterday, or next October.” Emilia told him seriously.

There was no response, causing Emilia to put down the piping bag she had just picked up.

“Do I bug you, James? When I tell you about my day, my family, or even about how I slept?” Emilia asked him, earning a wide eyed look from James who shook his head as he set down his spatula.

“Of course not, I want to hear what you have to say.”

“That’s how I feel about you,” Emilia told him, “I know you weren’t raised to be very open with your emotions or thoughts so when you are you feel like a burden or as though you did something wrong, but you didn’t. Not with me.”

Continuing on to the next white bowl of frosting, he seemed to be lost in thoughts as he began mixing in a few drops of blue food gel before he was able to verbalize.

“How are you able to be so… open and just good with your feelings?” He asked, and maybe somewhere deep within him there was a small ray of hope where things would just click and there wouldn’t be such a gap between his emotions and his words.

Not looking away from where she was decorating her cupcakes, she told him her sincerest answer, “I just grew up in a home where it was safe and encouraged to be open about how you’re feeling. My dad was really big on that because his dad was really cruel with him when he was growing up so he never wanted to have his kids grow up in that kind of home where it was bad to feel and where they grew up afraid.”

“But,” Emilia continued softly, “Something bothered you today, something must have triggered these adverse thoughts in your ever intelligent mind.”

Satisfied with the green shade he pushed away the bowl before running his hand down his face.

“It was- it’s so stupid but I saw that guy today and I just wanted him to leave so I could talk to you and have you to myself? I don’t- it’s so selfish to want that, I know, but then I thought he was locking in a date which isn’t my business because you’re allowed to date whoever you want because we’re not- you know?” He stuttered out a mile a minute, “Jesus I’m fumbling here, can you- I should go.”

James made an attempt to flee after Emilia allowed him to stutter through his emotions, but he didn’t get far because Emilia was grabbing onto his arm and dragging him back to his spot, gently but firmly.

“No, no, no, no, no, this is good, this is called discourse and vulnerability, James,” Emilia told him as she moved him back to where he had been standing, “It’s just me, you’re always allowed to feel however it is you’re feeling around me.”

He nodded, settling down as Emilia made her way to her own spot.

“Sorry. It’s just difficult because I’ve never been able to be open with someone? You know that, though.” James said as he repeated it for the millionth time, but Emilia just smiled.

“Yeah, well they’ll never know you the way that I do.” She said so simply James felt his chest crack wide open in that kitchen, the affection he felt for her was uncanny to anything else in his life. He had fallen deeply, and it was as pleasant as it was painful.

________________________

It didn’t take long for Emilia to finish up the order, closing it up and setting it in the fridge when she came back with unfrosted cupcakes and a brilliant idea.

She had insisted on teaching James to frost a cupcake after he had expressed some interest in it as he watched her do it so easily and with such simplicity for over a hundred cupcakes, not one wonky or out of order.

So she stood close to him, placing her hands above his as she guided the correct pressure and movements she had perfected after years and years of baking, James’ movements clunky and unperfected underneath her hands.

James had moved so her back was pressed against his front, his focus on her warmth and the way her hands were so, so soft and so gentle with his own, making his heart want to hammer straight out of his chest onto the counter.

“You’re doing great.” Emilia complimented as she subtly loosened her hold on his hands, allowing him to guide it until he did his own slightly wonky swirl.

She moved aside, standing next to him as he continued on from a chocolate cupcake to a vanilla cupcake with the yellow frosting peeking out of the tip, his eagerness obvious.

Suddenly he felt hyper aware of how close she was to him and he just couldn’t stop himself anymore, he really couldn’t.

All at once he moved forward with his instinct without a secondary thought of doubt plaguing him, turning to the right where Emilia was standing, cupping her face with his right hand and leaning down in swift movements before he kissed her soundly.

Emilia’s lips were soft and warm against his own he knew were closer to chapped than not, the sensation he felt was nothing he could have prepared for in the instances he had restrained himself from doing this beforehand.

To James it was like the friendly deja vu he was privy to experiencing at times, as though they had years and years of practice doing this together. He felt Emilia really respond, pushing a little deeper where he was able to taste the remains of the unsold blueberry muffin Emilia had been munching on earlier during his arrival.

However much both parties enjoyed this, breathing was still a requirement which had them pulling away, James peeling open his eyes to see Emilia grinning widely at him, her eyes alive with affection he had been certain of concocting in his own mind.

Before he could speak a word or utter an apology, Emilia was cupping his face within her own hands and raising herself onto her toes where she kissed James again and again chastely, pulling away with an overexaggerated “Mwah!”

“Was this your plan all along?” She asked with a teasing smile, “Get me to show you my frosting technique, kiss me, and run away with this and my other secrets?”

James threw his head back and laughed, the laugh bubbling out of his chest as Emilia laughed alongside him. In the future, the sheer simplicity of it all is what stuck out in James’ head the most.

__________________

The way Emilia’s face lit up when she saw James appear the next day, a Thursday, made just about everything in his day worthwhile because that sent a jolt through him. It was after six thirty, his plans of lunch with Emilia had been thwarted by piles of paperwork, settling for a Clif bar and a water bottle.

His mood was negative, something he could feel following him like a cloud in one of those antidepressant commercials that came on tv, his father making his life a living hell because of his lack of appearance at thanksgiving. It had been over a week since thanksgiving but it was still fresh in his father’s mind.

Rude comments, damning his work, and just making him feel about as worthless as a human being could and he was so exhausted.

“Ahoy there,” Emilia greeted from behind her counter, walking towards James who was walking around it and practically throwing himself into her arms.

He greeted her back in a tired voice, Emilia wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly as she allowed him to find comfort within her arms with his own wrapped around her middle so tightly she thought he might want to mold himself into her body.

“What happened? You look like you just got told your car is getting repoed,” Emilia asked, James pulling away with a shrug, “Nothing,”

“James,” Emilia said, not buying his lackluster answer, finally getting out of James what he had been harboring in his mind all day without anyone but Emilia to tell.

“My dad is an asshole who gets a sadistic high out of making me feel like shit, is all,” James said in a light tone Emilia knew was meant to be joking but the way his voice cracked at the last word had her making her way over to the front door, locking it securely before turning over the sign to announce she was closed.

“C’mon mister,” She told him as was back in front of him, grabbing his hand, “You can help me prepare some stuff for tomorrow because God knows the holidays make people love their baked goods and today was a riot in here.”

Suddenly he felt out of place and as though again, he hadn’t considered that she might be busy running an entire business where she was the sole baker.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry. Do you want me to go so you can work?” James asked as he stopped at the door of the back kitchen, prompting Emilia to tug him in with a shake of her head.

“No. I want you here, silly,”

“But you have so much-” He was cut off by Emilia grabbing his face and kissing him soundly, it was chaste but it got the job done because afterwards James was left short circuiting for a few moments.

“James, would you do me the favor of keeping me company while I do some work here? I’d love to have you here with me,”

With a smile, he shrugged and followed her back to the kitchen where she began to do her work.

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