#honestly i’m not big into shipping culture but i do like to occasionally think about it

[delimeful]

Snapshot: Release

new WIBAR Snapshot! 

warnings: mention of trafficking, PTSD, mentions of funeral rites, catharsis, crying, sad hours

-

Patton liked to think himself an optimist, but even he could admit that there were some days where things were bad.

He didn’t like to, of course. Gratitude was a virtue in Ampen culture, and he had carried it with him gladly when he first started spacefaring. It was easy, most days, to find something to be grateful for and thank the sea’s tidings.

Most days.

Though it had taken time, Patton had learned to loosen his grip on the idea of the foam edge, the bright side to a bad situation. He still found the cup half-full, of course, but he also knew that sometimes things were hard, and it was okay to be sad about that.

He was still getting to the part where he told others when he was sad, but that was okay! He was working on it, and as Logan always said, growth took time.

A few rotations after Virgil and him were reunited with his best friends, Virgil had one of those days.

It had started innocuously enough. Patton had been sprawled over Virgil’s legs, continuing his not-so-secret agenda to show Roman and Logan exactly what kind of Human Virgil was. Not harmless, certainly, but-- what was the Common word? Disciplined.

They both knew how easily Virgil could hurt him, could hurt any of them. Patton had been there watching while they escaped, when Virgil slammed into aliens much stronger than an Ampen with unforgiving force. There was no question of his capability for violence, when faced with a threat.

But that was just it. Virgil knew he could hurt them, even through simple carelessness, and he worked so hard not to.

It was clear in every movement. How could Patton feel the subtle tremor in Virgil’s hands when he held him, the attentive stillness of his body when Patton perched on him, the careful softness of his fingers carding through feathers, and feel anything but treasured?

Virgil had protected Patton with everything he had, and Patton was going to return the favor however he could. That’s what friends were for, after all.

So, Patton was nestled into the crook of Virgil’s legs, listening intently as he told a story from back home, occasionally piping in with questions or a story of his own.

Logan would have metaphorically killed for the opportunity to even just listen in on these firsthand Deathworlder anecdotes, but Virgil was still avoiding the Ulgorian with skillful determination. It was a little saddening, but Patton knew better than to push.

Everything was still settling down from their last incident; he didn’t want to disrupt the delicate balance again by shoving Virgil out of his comfort zone.

Instead, he just listened, happy to see the little differences that had overcome his friend since they’d finally gotten free of that horrible cell.

This was far from the first time they’d sat around storytelling.

There was little else to do in their cell, and besides, it was one of the fastest ways to share words, telling tales tall and small and only pausing whenever a word didn’t quite translate or their voices went out. Back then, though, Virgil had shared his stories with an almost bittersweet air about him.

It reminded Patton of the way Crav’n held wakes, long stretches of time spent gathered around their pyre, sharing stories, remembering and honoring the deceased in every way they could. It was as though Virgil was giving up those little pieces of himself in advance, for someone to remember after he was gone. As though he was performing his own funerary rites.

His coatfeathers fluffed up sharply at the thought, and he shuddered a few times to try and settle them back into place. That time was past, Virgil was safe, and so it bore no further thought.

Unaware of the way Patton’s attention had strayed, Virgil ran a hand over his back, shifting feathers back into alignment with surprising delicacy for such a large being. Patton trilled lowly in pleased gratitude, wishing wholeheartedly that Roman would stop glaring long enough to notice this aspect of the Mindscape’s newest resident. They could get along so well if they gave each other a chance, he just knew it…

“Hey, Patton?” Virgil asked, shifting from the bright, long vowels of Patton’s native language to the lower register he used for his own home tongue. Patton perked his antennae up to show his friend that he had his undivided attention; Virgil usually only used English when he was asking something he didn’t want anyone else to overhear.

Nobody was nearby to listen, but that didn’t stop Virgil from casting a guilty look over his shoulder when he admitted, “I snuck into the map room yesterday.”

The ‘map room’ must have been referring to the nav room, where they plotted courses. It had a manual pilot control station as well, which was why Roman had been safeguarding it from Virgil as though he thought the Human would suddenly take up space piracy and seize control of their vessel.

Patton certainly didn’t have any problem with trusting Virgil in there, so he didn’t even twitch at the confession, only narrowing his eyes in silent encouragement for his friend to continue.

Just as Patton no longer shied away from bared teeth, Virgil no longer assumed narrowed eyes signified anger or doubt. He had picked up on a fair amount of Ampen body language during the course of their friendship, and so his lips quirked to the side slightly before he took the invitation to explain.

“I just wanted to know where we were, I guess. It was difficult to make sense of the maps-- It’s not like I’ve had a lot of opportunities to check them out on any of the other ships I’ve been on,” he said, and only the way his eyes rolled up slightly told Patton he was mostly-joking, the hesitant way he did sometimes.

Patton knew their time spent with the smugglers was something everyone on the ship would prefer to forget, including them, but things like that changed a person. They couldn’t be denied. If small, slightly-bitter jokes like this one were how Virgil honored that change, Patton could support it.

“I’d be mappalled with their terrible hosting skills, if I were you,” he chimed in, and he couldn’t help the way his feathers’ glow increased at the sight of Virgil’s smile, even muffled behind a hand. “Do you want to learn how to read the maps?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered, unable to conceal the too-quick way he leapt on the opportunity. There was a pause, his face going slightly pink, but Patton didn’t comment, feeling a swell of sympathy in his upper heart. It was hard to remember sometimes, with how adjusted Patton was to the wayfarer lifestyle, that Virgil was immeasurably far from everything he’d ever known.

“I mean, yeah,” he corrected, clearing his throat in a way that Patton had once mistaken for a growl, “but that’s not actually-- I was trying to see if I could recognize anything. Any stars, or-- or planets, y’know?”

He was avoiding eye contact now, staring at a distant point. He hadn’t moved his hand, which meant that Patton could feel the tremble in it when he butted his head into the point of contact. He crooned soothingly, the type of sound a parent would use to soothe a hatchling.

“I, um. Well, I figured if I knew how far it was, I could figure out how much it would cost to make that sort of…,” he fumbled for a word Patton would know, slipping back into Common for a few words, “extra trip. But I couldn’t find anything familiar. So, I... I thought I’d ask. Like I probably should have in the first place.”

Patton waited, but that seemed to be all Virgil could manage. “Ask what?” he prompted gently. “Space is big, but if there’s certain skysights you miss, I’m sure we can get started on finding them! What are you looking for?”

Virgil’s attention dropped down to him and then flitted away again, not a single sign that he’d even heard Patton’s pun. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and then dragged his gaze back to meet Patton’s.

“... Earth?” he managed, in one of the smallest voices Patton had ever heard from him.

Oh.

Oh.

Patton’s antennae flicked back in dread before he could stop them, and Virgil’s face twitched slightly, making an expression that he’d never seen before. His chin had dimpled, his jaw clenched, tense as though waiting for a blow.

Waiting for Patton to tell him he couldn’t go home.

This wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it, Patton realized. Far from it, it seemed as though Virgil had been cradling this question like an egg surrounded by downy feathers, keeping it tucked away, waiting desperately to be secure enough, safe enough to ask. To try hoping for a future again.

He was so afraid to want, and Patton couldn’t help but whine slightly, because this time, he was right to fear the worst.

They couldn’t go to Earth. Patton knew, because it was the first thing he’d talked to Roman and Logan about, that first day, as soon as Virgil had retired to his new room.

It wasn’t a matter of should or would. They couldn’t, not even if they all agreed to try, not even if they were willing to go directly against the council’s edicts. They didn’t have the equipment to get past the barricade undetected, they didn’t have the knowledge to slip between patrols, they didn’t even have the cloaking capabilities they’d need to land on an uninformed planet. They didn’t have enough funds to try and obtain any of those.

Honestly, they were barely scraping by as it was. Roman and Logan had halted their normal cargo runs to search for him, and their savings had suffered as a result. It was part of the reason they had been taking more jobs, any they could find that wouldn’t put them in the sights of any potential Human-hunters.

He’d done his best to shield Virgil from realizing just how much his presence had changed their routine, but going by the way he thought he’d have to pay them just to get back to a home he never should have been stolen from in the first place, he hadn’t been successful.

Patton glanced to the door with a half-formed desire to go get Logan, who had patiently walked Patton through every possible scenario until it sunk in that they really, truly couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t fair. Patton had chosen this life, and he could still go home, and see his family, and greet the ocean breeze. Virgil hadn’t had a choice in anything, hadn’t had the freedom that spacefaring brought so many, and now he didn’t have the option to return home, either.

“It’s not— I don’t want to leave you,” Virgil forced out, looking a little frantic. “I mean, we’re friends, right?”

He used the Ampen version of the word, the one that translated literally to ‘treasured one’, and could be used by any who had bonded closely, blood or nest-sharing aside. Patton nodded firmly, mouth clamped shut to keep from sobbing.

“Right,” Virgil continued, near-pleading, “so it’s not you, I promise, and I can find a way to pay back my debts, I know Roman wants me gone and Logan wants s-samples, and I can do that. It’s fine, it’s worth it, just… I miss home. So bad. Even the parts I used to hate.”

“I’m sorry,” Patton said in the most honorable way he had, the low, agonized call of I repent and I regret. “If we could— I promise we would, Virgil. It’s not your fault, you have no debts here. You deserve to go home.”

Virgil’s face was miserable to even witness, the way faltering hope had been crushed under the weight of his worst suspicions being confirmed. Patton reached for him automatically, his attempts to comfort his friend coming out as a soft empathetic cry instead, and that wounded sound was all it took for Virgil’s self-control to finally break.

He crumpled all at once, a breezecatcher with its tether cut, crashing to the sand below. The top of his head butted gently against Patton’s side, a mirror of the way Patton so often sought comfort from him, and he began to cry in earnest, as though releasing months of built-up misery.

Disciplined, Patton remembered with a pang of bitter sorrow, and let his Deathworlder finally weep for everything that had been taken from him.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #wibar #wibar snapshots #ws #ts virgil #ts patton #platonic moxiety #writing #my writing #release #angst

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Autistic Hiccup x ADHD Anna Headcanons

SO I’ve been really into the whole Autistic x ADHD ship dynamic and Hiccanna...highkey fits??? Like y’all know I will die on my “Anna has ADHD” hill, but after reading this post by @hobie-brown I’m like wait, the autistic Hiccup headcanon is wonderful too??? And blends SO WELL with ADHD Anna??? And I absolutely HAD to explore it more so BOOM headcanon time! Another special thanks to @hobie-brown for writing the super lovely autistic Hiccup headcanon masterpost that inspired me to do this!

Disclaimer: I myself am not on the spectrum (part of the reason I’ve always felt a little weird about definitively HCing characters as autistic unless I see actual autistic people HC them that way too), so most of the stuff here is stuff I know secondhand from my autistic friends! I do have ADHD, so I can always promise that ADHD Anna will be 100% authentic XD

~Anna absolutely gets into Hiccup’s special interests to try and impress him. The most obvious one being, of course, dragons, but also dinosaurs (extinct dragons), lizards (tiny dragons), and Dungeons and Dragons (An RPG game that does, in fact, include dragons). Hiccup absolutely had that dragonology book as a kid and got obsessed with it beyond all reasonability. Hilariously, Anna’s wooing strategy of indulging his special interests works like a charm--mainly because a) he’s pretty flattered that someone takes THAT much of an interest in what he likes and b) half the time, ANNA finds that she genuinely gets into whatever said special interest is and finds them easy to hyperfixate on. It helps that the more she obsesses over it herself, the more she has to talk to Hiccup about XD

~Specifically, Anna definitely joins a DnD campaign at some point so that Hiccup will think she’s a “cool gamer girl”--and then gets unironically obsessed with it and starts writing 10-page backstories for all of her characters. She later tells Hiccup it started out as a ruse to win his heart via nerdiness, and he absolutely loses his shit laughing.

~One of their overlapping special interests/hyperfixations is high fantasy. Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, all about the mythical creatures while Anna is more into the magic and the zesty political drama, but you dun best believe they catch every CGI-ridden fantasy movie that ever comes out. They’ve both spent a literal fortune on fantasy movie tickets, even moreso on watching them in 3D or Imax. How embarrassing for both of them.

~Another less-obvious overlapping interest is history. Hiccup gets into it while looking into the cultural mythos of dragons (he’s pretty fascinated by the fact that so many cultures around the world thought up similar creatures independently), while Anna gets into it because she grew up cooped up bored and lonely in a big house, and entertained herself by looking into the history behind some of the family paintings. They don’t seem it at first, but they’re actually both huge medieval and ancient civilization history buffs.

~Hiccup is THE most touch-repulsed person you will ever meet. This is unfortunate, as he is also SUPER touch-starved and absolutely does not realize it (I mean, I’ve never gotten the vibe Stoic was the super huggy type, considering his and Hicc’s relationship in HTTYD 1). This means he has absolutely no fucking clue what to make of Anna when they first meet meet. Anna’s the sort of person to give physical affection pretty freely, especially if she likes you--usually in the form of hugs, arm pats or playful swats, putting her elbow on your shoulder, etc etc. Hiccup is kinda just like “this is way too much touching but like??? I kinda like having her this close to me??? What do???”

~Anna, meanwhile, notices that Hiccup kinda stiffens up whenever she touches him and seems to not be crazy about it and she’s just immediately like “yo what’s wrong???” And as SOON as he admits he’s not all that crazy about being touched randomly she’s like “OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY” and never touches him without asking again.

~As soon as she finds out touch a kind of A Whole Thing for him, Anna is like...AGGRESSIVELY respectful of Hiccup’s boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Almost annoyingly so. She gets in the habit of basically never initiating any kind of physical touch without asking first--even long after they’ve started dating, and he’s told her it’s okay to initiate touching as long as she’s not smothery about it. She still refuses out of principle.

~They come up with a kind of “consent language” so Anna can pretty quickly determine when it’s all right to touch Hiccup--because Anna still really likes being physically affectionate with him, and he does actually like receiving physical affection a lot of the time (because, again, touch-starved), he’s just choosy about who does it. They work out a system based off of small, light touches that Hiccup doesn’t mind where it’s basically 2 taps on his shoulder for “can I hug you around the neck,” 2 taps on his side for “can I hug you around the waist,” 2 taps on his arm for “can I grab/lightly slap/punch your arm,” and 1 tap on is shoulder for “can I put my arm/elbow on your shoulder.” If he’s cool with it he’ll either nod or just say “yeah go ahead.” It works a lot quicker than asking “can I do such-and-such specific touch” every single time, and allows Anna to keep some of her spontaneity. They develop this during their friendship and it ends up rolling over into their relationship, even after Hiccup has basically told her she doesn’t need to ask permission for a lot of these anymore. She adds a new one after they start dating--she taps him a couple times wherever she wants to kiss him to ask if it’s cool to give him a smooch! It usually is.

~INFODUMPING. Literally SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Hiccup absolutely WILL NOT SHUT UP when he gets to talking about one of his special interests. Anna just will not shut up in general, but when the topic changes to one of her hyperfixations, it’s even worse. If you try to have a conversation with these two while they’re infodumping, you WILL get talked over. Honestly, left to their own devices, they could probably infodump to each other for literal days on end.

~Despite how much they both like to infodump, they’re both pretty good about being patient and indulging the other when it’s their partner’s turn to infodump in the conversation XD They are, however, notorious about accidentally triggering a barely-related infodump in the other person. It’s not uncommon for one of them to finish a rant and then the other goes “OH THAT REMINDS ME” and sets off on a completely different, barely-related rant.

~Hiccup actually really appreciates how overexpressive--and occasionally overdramatic--Anna tends to be. He never has to try and figure out what she’s thinking because she just says everything in her brain, and her body language basically always matches how she’s feeling to a ridiculous extent, so he never has to give himself a headache trying to read her. The fact that she’s the opposite of subtle and has no filter whatsoever works great for him, because he doesn’t have to drive himself insane trying to understand her. He gets her better than he gets most people because she’s an open goddamn book. The boy’s never been the best with social cues at all, never mind the nuanced, obscure ones, so Anna’s general straightforwardness and utter inability to hide her true feelings at literally any time is a breath of fresh air. What you see is basically what you get, and Hiccup wouldn’t have it any other way.

~People think when Anna and Hiccup start dating it’s gonna be a disaster, mainly because he’s so blunt and she can be...”oversensitive” (i.e. has a REALLY bad case of RSD). Turns out they’re dead wrong--because Hiccup has RSD too! (I mean, come ON--look how BADLY he wants to get his village’s approval! And how hard he takes it when his dad or someone else is mad at him--even if he tries to hide it with snark) He’s actually one of the few people who can be blunt enough with Anna that she realizes when she’s being a dumbass but tactful enough not to hurt her feelings or set off her RSD--because god, has he been there. When Anna is being especially difficult and has worked herself into a real bad funk, Hiccup (and sometimes Elsa) is the only people who can talk to her and get through to her without getting blown up at.

~They stim in similar ways!!! They both tend to fidget or kinda bounce up in down in place as a way to comfort themselves and calm themselves down (I see them both having a lot of anxiety and generally being kind of paranoid, although Anna is MUCH better at hiding this via putting on a cheerful face). They both do the leg bounce!!! Also if they get SUPER excited they’ll do a little awkward happy dance!!! They both also tend to stim by rubbing things in small, repetitive motions--with Hiccup, it’s usually his sketching pens, his ear, his head, or the back of his neck, while with Anna, it’s usually her other hand, her arm, her clothes, or really anything with kind of a comforting, consistent texture (some favorites are rubber, felt, and velvet). After they start dating, they actually will stim with each other’s hands while holding hands--usually by squeezing the other person’s hand in kind of a repetitive pattern or doing the thumb-rub thing on the back of the other person’s hand. It’s not uncommon for them to each be doing something completely unrelated while holding hands and just stimming on each other’s hands the entire time. Anna especially really loves when she feels Hiccup stimming on her, because it’s her little indicator that he’s happy and feels at peace and content in her presence and she LOVES being able to do that for him!

~They both stim by playing with hair too! Anna likes to play with her own to stim--mainly by figeting with the end of her braids or tucking hair behind her ear. She DOES love to ruffle Hiccup’s hair too (and she LOVES how fluffy it is!), but it’s usually not a stim thing. After they start dating, Anna does occasionally stim by massaging Hiccup’s hair/scalp, but she doesn’t usually do it for very long. Hiccup really loves braiding Anna’s hair, or just playing with it when it’s down. it helps him relax and clear his mind to have something fairly repetitive and/or mindless to do.

~Even after gaining some confidence, Hiccup still has a fair bit of social anxiety, so he and Anna basically always go to parties and social events together and stick with each other the whole time to make it less intimidating for him. Hiccup generally prefers to let Anna do the talking when they chat with people, and sometimes if he’s REALLY nervous he’ll sometimes even let her kinda talk for him (not in a condescending “speaking over” kinda way, but more in like a “I can sense you’re not comfortable speaking here so I’ll help you out as best I can” kinda way). She always makes sure to leave space in the conversation for him to take over talking if he wants. She’s also incredibly prone to bragging about his accomplishments to basically everyone they know. Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this.

~When Anna finds out about meltdowns (probably through Hiccup mentioning it kind of offhandedly--“Eh, sorry I went AWOL last night, I was having a bit of a meltdown. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now.”) she lowkey gets super anxious and frustrated because she REALLY wants to help, but has no idea how. Cue literal HOURS of research on the internet and AGGRESSIVE memorizing of any and all tips that she reads that she thinks would help. Which, of course, means several MORE hours spent going over flashcards like she’s studying for a goddamn test, because Anna has never been known for her sharp, expansive memory.

~The first time Hiccup ever has a meltdown in front of her (maybe after a really bad phone fight with his dad or something? Just general sensory overload?), she takes him to a secluded room and IMMEDIATELY gets rid of anything that could be agitating sensory-wise. She dims the lights! She closes the blinds! She throws a nearby clock, an alarm, a timer, and several other objects with only the slightest potential of making an annoying noise out of a nearby window in a fit of passion! She goes on a frenzied quest to find Hiccup’s noise-cancelling headphones--and finishes it in record time! Even in a state of emotional turmoil, Hiccup realizes that Anna’s being just a little too methodical in how she goes about all this--these are the kind of things that wouldn’t ever occur naturally to her to do. So as soon as he calms down a bit and has screamed into a pillow for a while, he’s like “...did you go on the internet to look up how to help with meltdowns?” and Anna’s like “...yes?” And Hiccup is lowkey so touched he starts crying all over again...and then, naturally, makes a long string of snarky comments to try and distract from it XD

~For their anniversary Anna saves up a bunch and buys Hiccup a lizard and a terrarium!!! She gets him a crocodile skink because, I quote, “Well, they always look annoyed, they’re kinda shy, they don’t like to be touched, and they look like tiny dragons, so they reminded me of you!!!” Hiccup screams like a goddamn fangirl, he’s SO excited. As luck would have it, Hiccup’s crocodile skink is a lot less skittish and prone to hiding than they usually are, and he actually lets Hiccup pick him up and pet him without much issue. Which is honestly great, because repeatedly touching something smooth and even like lizard scales helps calm Hiccup down when he’s agitated and helps with some of his sensory issues.

~Probably goes without saying, but Hiccup basically NEVER genuinely gives Anna a hard time about her memory problems or how she’s not always the quickest on the uptake, and if anyone tries to call her annoying, dumb, or immature he will absolutely roast them into oblivion. He does sometimes like...lightly tease her about jumping into things without thinking or never shutting up, but he never pushes it if he can tell she’s genuinely bothered by it (and, again, Anna is very easy to read, so it’s not hard to tell XD)

~I’ve seen other people in the fandom HC either Hiccup, Anna, or both of them as BOTH autistic and ADHD, and honestly...fuck yes!!! I’m down for this too! I love the idea of these two disaster ND kids just vibing with each other on so many damn levels that it’s like...incomprehensible to the average human XD Like man, they fuckin GET each other!!! I’m pretty happy with most combinations of ADHD + Autistic headcanons for Anna and Hiccup, so long as they end up vibing!!!

~THEY JUST. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. THEY LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER. I AM SURE OF IT. I’M CRYING. 

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #autistic hiccup #adhd anna #headcanons #hcs #httyd #frozen #crossover #rotbtd #rotbtfd #hiccup haddock #princess anna

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

#for some reason read more does not work on my blog main page now? you'll have to click the permalink #season 17 time for a theme change tumblr has broken this one too much sigh #ask #anonymous #this might be the most controversial thing I've ever posted or I might escape with nobody noticing it. Only Two Outcomes #didn't mention any other factional ringleaders because well #I value my life etc. #unironically who will fund me writing the PhD on supernatural fandom etc. etc. #the graphs. the statistics. the sociological insights #kira for ts #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers

[mornyavie]

Glossary of references in The Bifrost Incident

 It’s Very Long and yet also not really complete. If there are any questions / clarifications I can add, or I’ve messed anything up and need to fix it, let me know!

The tl;dr is that nearly every word in the album draws from either Norse mythology or the Lovecraft / Cthulhu mythos, directly or indirectly.

@moony221b here’s that glossary that I promised forever and a day ago.

Edit: I decided to create this document of annotations (x). Lyrics taken from Genius; I’m not totally sure how accurate they are, but hopefully they help get the point across! Again, questions and complaints both welcome.

Arcomba

I can’t find anything on this, would be interested if someone knows.

Asgard

One of the Nine Worlds, specifically the one where most of the Æsir (the subset of gods most associated with humans, including the well-known ones like Thor and Odin) live.

Thus Asgard is the planet on which the most powerful inhabitants of the Yggdrasil system, and those named after the gods, are found (though the subjugation / colonization relationship does not exist in myth).

Azathoth

This one’s from Lovecraft; Azathoth is the greatest of the Outer Gods, often served and worshiped by other gods themselves. Often described as mad, a demon, a sultan, or putting it all together as the Mad Demon Sultan. Resides at “the center of the universe,” where he appears as some sort of vast, amorphous, bubbling, roiling mass of “nuclear chaos.” (Nuclear probably refers to center, not nuclear power, which didn’t really exist when this was written). Servants about him play drums and flutes.

Mentioned briefly as the train travels through the Bifrost and into his realm, and a lot of the narration in those few verses draws directly from Lovecraft’s descriptions.

Baldur

The god of light and beloved by all, Baldr was killed by Loki in his final betrayal of the gods. After the murder Loki was tracked down and imprisoned, and will escape at the start of Ragnarok. In particular, Loki used a spear made of mistletoe... or, in the album, missile two. And tricked another god into throwing it, which I think is mimicked in the distance and impersonality of the crime. Look up more of his story if you want, it’s interesting and important, but that’s the relevant info here.

Bifrost

The rainbow bridge that the gods use to travel between worlds. 

Which is, of course, directly analogous to the wormhole-ish extradimensional-ish space of “shifting, undulating hues” through which the train travels.

Edda

The Prose Edda and the Poetic Edda are the names given to two pieces of literature that are most people’s main source for Norse mythology. The Prose Edda was written by Snorri Sturluson around 1200 to teach his (mostly Christian) contemporaries about the mythology and mythological references that made up a big chunk of Norse literature. The Poetic Edda is a set of poems that serve as a major source for Norse tales.

This is partially just a way to connect our hero Lyfrassir Edda to the Norse traditions, but also definitely a reference to their (presumed) role as the main “recorder” and source of information to get out of the Yggdrasil system.

Fate

Honestly the way the Mechanisms deal with fate in general is very interesting and arguably sometimes quite Nordic... but in particular, Bifrost Incident references fate or destiny a number of times and features a number of situations where the outcome is fixed and can’t be changed, but you have to fight anyways: “Killing me won’t save your world” “I don’t care” or how Loki and Sigyn can’t stop the train, but can only delay it. A lot of Norse tragedy revolves around people heading into battle knowing that they’re doomed and fighting anyways, or around the cycle of conflict that marked the cultural requirements for avenging insults. And the myth cycle is notable for the fact that the gods know, explicitly, exactly what Ragnarok is, what’s going to happen, and how they’re going to die, but will fight in it anyways. 

Inevitability and helplessness in the face of what you can’t possibly understand, let alone fight, which is a depiction slightly sideways of the Nordic version, are very Lovecraftian themes.

Fenrir

A wolf, child of Loki and father of Skoll and Hati, who was chained by the gods (particularly by Tyr, who placed his hand in the wolf’s mouth as “hostage” to assure him they would unchain him later, and lost the hand). He will break free at Ragnarok to join the battle against them and kill Odin.

With his association with monsters and with Loki, it’s fairly clear why he was aligned with the resistance movement. He’s serving “five life sentences” as a reference to his being chained, and the whole motif of the train’s journey being hijacked for a prison break certainly references the various characters who will be freed or break free as Ragnarok begins.

Frey

The brief reference of Frey being killed by the raging fire of the sun, with “no weapon, no defense,” is a direct translation of the god’s role in Ragnarok, when he will be killed by Surtr. Frey gave away his sword for the opportunity to woo his eventual wife, and so will be armed only with a stag’s antlers in his final combat. Also called Freyr.

Freya (“weeps tears of red-gold”)

Like her brother Frey (and yeah, these names get confusing), Freya is associated with harvest and fertility, though unlike him she also gets battle. In the song she weeps red-gold tears at the death of her husband Odr, which in myth she is said to do when her husband is absent. Also called Freyja.

Garm

Garm is another wolf, who guards Hel’s gates. He also breaks free at Ragnarok, and his howling heralds its coming. As in the album, he will fight and kill Tyr. Also called Garmr.

Hati

There’s a lot of wolves in Norse mythology. This one is a child of Fenrir. He chases the moon across the sky, and will swallow it when Ragnarok comes.

Mentioned briefly only as one of the resistance members on the train.

Heimdall

Heimdall is the watchman of the gods, with keen eyes and foresight, and guards the Bifrost as the entrance to Asgard. He will blow his horn to summon the gods to the final battle during Ragnarok, and he and Loki will kill one another. Also called Heimdallr; you’re probably noticing a pattern. It’s a grammar thing.

Mentioned as guarding the train and “doing his part.” His dying screams initiate the train’s destruction and echo throughout it, which presumably recalls the horn thing.

Hel

Another daughter of Loki, and, as the name will imply to English speakers, a guardian of the dead. She refuses to give Baldur back to the world of the living after Loki kills him. Also the name of the realm in which she resides, and to which go those who die of disease or old age. Doesn’t necessarily have the same bad-punishment connotation as modern Hell. I don’t know whether there’s any indication of what she herself is doing in Ragnarok, but many of her people and associates are certainly fighting against the gods, and I’m fairly certain the ship Naglfar, which carries Loki and his allies to Ragnarok, sets sail from Hel.

Hel as a prison colony clearly references the various characters the gods have chained or otherwise imprisoned (though, in myth, not all within Hel) as well as her alignment with “other side” during Ragnarok, and the jailbreak the resistance members are planning recalls the breaking of all these bonds as Ragnarok begins.

Hoddmimis

The woods in which Líf and Lífþrasir (see Lyfrassir) will shelter to survive Ragnarok and the various disasters accompanying it. 

So, good news! We can be marginally assured of Lyfrassir’s survival after taking shelter at the mining-colony of Hoddmimis.

Jormungandr

The world serpent, which lives in the seas and encircles the earth. Will arise during Ragnarok, causing great floods, and fight Thor; Thor will slay the serpent, but in turn the serpent’s poison will cause his death, after he staggers “nine steps back.”

Thor’s fight with Odin-turned-serpent is pretty clearly analogous to this, especially the taking nine steps to the window before destroying it with his hammer, resulting in both their deaths. I don’t think there’s any mythological basis to Odin turning into the serpent, though

Kvasir (“blood drained out”)

Kvasir was a very wise man/god and the originator of poetry. I’m leaving out a fair amount of his birth and life; the important information here is that two dwarves who were jealous of his knowledge tricked him, killed him, drained his blood, and mixed it with honey to make mead. Any who drank of the mead gained the gift of poetry / scholarship; eventually the gods stole it.

I’m not sure if there’s a reason they decided to specifically describe him as a resistance member, but there’s a clear parallel in Kvasir’s blood being drained and used to power the train, especially with the language of glyphs and sigils providing power.

Loki

Ah, Loki. Male in the general canon, though not without genderbending (he turns into a mare and gives birth to Fenrir, Hel, and Jormungandr, for instance). Inasmuch as the Norse myths we have can be organized into a “chronology,” you could do it (in my opinion) along Loki’s path from a mostly benevolent trickster god whose antics occasionally cause trouble to a genuinely malevolent figure. Associated with wit, magic, and trickery. Despite how modern lore (I suspect influenced by Marvel) often portrays Thor and Loki as brothers and children of Odin, in the myth Loki and Odin are bonded as blood-brothers. But Loki also often appears alongside Thor. As mentioned, parent of three of the main figures of Ragnarok. In the “final” myth, he jealously arranges the death of the god Baldr, who was loved by all; then he appears at a feast, where he exchanges insults with the other gods. This is the last straw; they capture him and chain him to a stone, over which they tie a serpent. Venom drips from the serpent’s fangs, causing him great agony. His wife Sigyn stays by his side, catching the venom in a bowl, but when she is forced to leave for a moment to dump it out his thrashing causes earthquakes. He will break free at the start of Ragnarok and sail to Asgard, where he and Heimdall will kill each other.

Hopefully that’s enough to give you a good background for Loki’s role in the album... it’s pretty clear why she’s framed as the opposition to the gods and the “leader” of the resistance movement, as a call to her role in Ragnarok. Her association with magic and trickery make sense for her being the “expert” in the twisted Lovecraftian “science” that produces the train. It also parallels her role in myth; her actions often get the gods into trouble, but they just as often need her wit and knowledge to get them out of it, as Odin needs her knowledge despite her taking action to destroy the train. And the setup at the end - drip, drip, drip, her face twisted in pain, her wife beside her, her “release” heralding the end of the world - precisely echoes the language of her bondage in myth; though her mind-destroying imprisonment by Odin also invokes this.

Lovecraft(ian)

A highly influential horror writer from the early 20th century. He’s largely credited with the creation of the creation of the “cosmic horror” genre, a type of horror which emphasises a vast, unknowable, uncaring universe against which we cannot hope to even begin to fight. His ideas and the gods / demons / creatures he created form the basis of the “Cthulhu mythos” or even “Lovecraft mythos,” which today is a sort of standard set of assumptions on which writers can build. Lovecraftian themes of apocalypse, inevitability, and powerlessness are highly prevalent in the album. Several of the gods in this mythos are used; in particular, Yog-Sothoth (see below). Also, a lot of the general description (madness, roiling chaos, undulating colors) draws from his distinctive vocabulary that remains staple of the genre. It’s worth noting that Lovecraft was a horrible and very racist person, but the genre today is widely used by people who are not terrible.

Lyfrassir

Líf and Lífþrasir in Norse mythology are the two humans who will survive Ragnarok and rebuild humanity; a hopeful sign for our album’s protagonist!

Midgard

In Norse mythology, the “middle” world where humans live. Earth.

Nagthrod

I don’t know this one.

@acorn-mushroom pointed out that it may be a mis-transcription of Naglfar, the name of the (ocean) ship which will carry Loki and his followers from the shores of Hel to the battlefield at Ragnarok. It’s made of dead men’s nails.

Odin

The king of the gods in Norse mythology. As the god of both wisdom and madness, Odin’s role in the album as a researcher and technological ruler whose discoveries drive her slowly mad is both very Lovecraftian and a reasonable leap. I could say a lot about the figure of Odin, but I think this character is one of the most divergent from the myth, in detail if not in role.

Odr

Óðr is Freya’s husband.

Outer gods

A Lovecraft thing referring to several of the most horrible and powerful gods, including Yog-Sothoth.

Ragnarok

The apocalypse, basically, in Norse mythology. Proceeded by various catastrophes, especially a very long winter, mentioned in the album, culminating in a great battle between the gods and their enemies, and resulting in the death of the majority of gods and other creatures of the world.

Ratatosk

A squirrel who runs up and down Yggdrasil, carrying messages between some of the tree’s other inhabitants and sowing discord. The Ratatosk Express links the worlds of the Yggdrasil System, and causes “discord” in the resistance’s opposition to it.

Sigyn

Loki’s wife. See Loki for her role in his imprisonment.

Skoll

Sköll in Norse mythology is the wolf that chases and will someday eat the sun. Association with Fenrir (another wolf) and other monsters motivates his inclusion in the list of resistance members.

Thor

A Norse god, associated with war, lightning/thunder, strength, and in general sort of... common people, as opposed to Odin’s association with kings and royalty. Prone to anger, which makes sense with his depiction as a volatile military leader in the album. He is heavily associated with his hammer mjölnir, hence jokes about “throwing a hammer in the works” and whatnot. Often associates with Loki, both as friends and as enemies as Loki progresses from a mostly-harmless trickster to actively opposing the other gods; thus how in the album he and Loki were once friends. See above for his death fighting Jormungandr.

Tyr

Another Norse god associated with war. He sacrificed a hand to bind Fenrir, and will be killed by Garmr during Ragnarok, both events referenced in the album.

Yggdrasil

The world-tree of Norse mythology, which supports the nine worlds of the cosmology. 

Yog-Sothoth

An Outer God of Lovecraftian mythos; also called the Gate and Key. It is associated as sort of the substance of time and space, binding together the cosmos. A lot of the description during the Ragnarok sequences draws directly from the “canonical” descriptions of this deity, and the invocation spoken by Lyfrassir in Red Signal draws from a story about this creature, The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

#the mechanisms #the bifrost incident #information #references #thoughts #norse mythology

[my-writings-and-musings]

Here's a commission from an absolutely wonderful person, with Drift and a human reader going from the start of their friendship to becoming Amica Endura, and being ridiculously cute and sweet all the way. 

You'd been confused by the term at first, like you had with all Cybertronian phrases upon initially hearing them, but this one had been different in a way that didn't feel right.

Mostly because it sounded suspiciously like an insult.

Though the group of bots hadn't appeared to be especially troublesome, you had still seen Drift flinch when they'd referred to him as a Carnicon. That reaction alone had stirred immediate concern on your part, but their less than friendly tone and the sense of trouble they carried had made you act on the spot. Though the offending crewmembers had been gone by the time you managed to climb down the ladder attached to your designated lunch table, you'd still made it a point to hurry across the floor towards the lonely ninja bot, hoping that perhaps you'd just misunderstood what had transpired. Maybe the word was a nickname he hadn't heard in a while?  Distracted as you were just trying to avoid getting stepped on by the other bots moving about the room, such optimism was still obviously hopeless even to you. Drift had looked wounded by the comment.

"Hey, Drift! Down here, hello!"

Waving your arms for added effect, you called up to the bot as soon as you reached the floor beside his chair. Though somewhat out of breath, you had practiced getting the attention of much taller beings enough times to make elevating your voice quite easy, and you were noticed quickly. Raising his helm in a flash, Drift looked down to the floor with surprise that turned to a soft smile when he recognized you. A hand was offered to lift you as had become customary amongst the crew. 

"Hey, Y/N! Finish your lunch so soon?" He asked casually, all traces of his unpleasant encounter already wiped from his face. Hopping off his palm and onto the table, you had to sadly note the half eaten meal of his own sitting on a tray, untouched since he'd been called that word. The neatly organised arrangement of  energon cuts and various metals prepared as tasty little morsels was his usual lunch, something you knew because its sushi like appearance had stuck in your mind, especially do to how quickly he always finished it and the delighted mood with which he did so. Something must have indeed been wrong for it to be pushed aside and ignored.

"Yeah! I just wanted to come over, and..." Words failed you at the realization you hadn't actually planned upon what to say, or even how to go about saying it, despite your desire to help. All you'd wanted was to check up on him as swiftly as possible, and due to the distance involved there hadn't been time to think of a tactful way to accomplish that. Perhaps you should just be honest and not beat around the bush? Drift was a bot who could appreciate good intentions, if nothing else. Finding your courage, you ignored your somewhat rapid heartbeat to look up at him, smiling softly and adjusting your stance in a way you prayed came across as reassurance. "Well, honestly, I saw that group of bots go by and... I don't like to assume, but I wanted to make sure they didn't give you a hard time."

"Oh, those guys?"

His tone was casual, but even he couldn't hide the hurt that flashed in his optics. Clearly, and unfortunately, your instincts had been right on target. 

"Nah, they're just... Some mechs are a bit abrasive is all, it's how they socialize." He said, politely dismissing your concerns with fake sincerity that might have worked if you didn't know him as well as you did. Though not especially close, you'd spent enough time with him to learn he tried to play peacemaker on the ship, something made quite difficult by the past many crewmembers refused to let him forget. Somehow the particular variety of pain he earned from such a predicament was very easy to recognize. You could hear it in every halting word, and because of that you had to fight to keep your expression neutral as he worked his way through an explanation probably improvised on the spot. "I've been developing a more open energy flow in casual environments. It allows me to connect with others on a deeper level, but can make me a tad more... vulnerable, to such unexpected encounters."

Hearing the pain hidden just below the surface of his voice, you can't help but feel a protective stir in your heart, regardless of the fact Drift towers over you and is an experienced combat veteran. Size and strength clearly aren't keeping him safe from bullies, and you can't bear to think of him suffering that pain in silence. Perhaps it isn't your place, but leaving him to endure even another minute just isn't an option. Sitting down on the table, you keep your worry to yourself and speak plainly, one equal to another.  "It wasn't so much them, as what they said that seemed to bother you." 

Seeing him deflate a bit makes further conversation almost impossible, but you push forward with your question. "That word, Carnicon, was it an insult?"

"No." He replies, curtly but not aggressive as he looks down at the hands he's folded atop the table. Worried you might have crossed some cultural boundary, despite all but whispering the word in question to lessen its blow, you're relieved when he seems to decide against further deflection. Stroking his thumb over the back of his palm, he is open but not quite unguarded in his tone as he starts to explain. "Well, not in most situations. Carnicon is an older term for Cybertronians built to hunt or engage in combat with purely biological weapons; like claws or venom."

Now at least marginally caught up, though still uncertain how such a word could ever be used against someone, you gently encouraged him to continue when he paused. "But... in other situations?"

"Some look down on bots bearing features that are ascribed to Carnicons. Thus, the name is often levied at those with "beastly" attributes, such as tails, horns, or..." Momentarily worried he'd paused because the topic had indeed proved too much, you were too caught up in the sad implications of the explanation to notice it hardly applied to him in the slightest. It was only when he brought a hand to his chin that the pieces started to click. Tilting his helm, he opened his mouth just enough for you to catch sight of four incredibly pointed tips, all in the same spots as your own canines. Everything made a terribly sad kind of sense by the time he closed his mouth and returned his sad gaze to you with a single word. 

"Fangs."

Heartache barreled past your defenses to show on your face in the form of an unrestrained frown, one that almost weighed you down under a dense kind of sadness you'd never experienced. Bots kept surprising you with the downright absurd forms of bigotry found on Cybertron, but this... You didn't even know how to begin processing it. This poor bot may have made some bad choices in the past, but he's worked tirelessly to be better, and the whole time you've known him he's been nothing but kind. More than kind, in fact. Drift is practically smiling every time he sees you. To think he has to endure exclusion for his past, on top of harassment for a physical trait that's impossibly harmless, you find yourself wishing wistfully you were large enough to embrace him. A reassuring smile on his face makes you ache more.

"Although I'm not a Carnicon, the fact that a number of my dentae are unusually sharp in a manner some might compare to those commonly found in Carnicons has occasionally resulted in... heckling." At the last word he cracks, and for the first time his fake unaffected front is completely ineffective, allowing you to see the pain that's almost overflowing just below the surface. Such a sight makes you certain you'll never be able to unsee his suffering again. Suddenly you understand him on a deeper level, as if this little incident has made something click into perfect place. You've never felt more determined to comfort someone than you do as he tries to continue. "But I'm quite accustomed to all of the reactions I provoke, Y/N! It does not bother me. Thank you for your concern though, I hope this feature does not perturb you."

A wonderful burst of clarity nearly makes you laugh, if only because being so caught up actually made you forget something about yourself, but you channel that energy into a bolstering smile as you scoot closer on the table.

"Why would it do that? I've got them too."

Optics going blank, it looked as if his processor had crashed like an old PC before he utters two quiet words.

"Come again?"

Tilting your own head, you gently pull your mouth open and push your lip back to reveal your own canines, all of which extend far enough that all he has to do is squint before his expression brightens in realization. Tapping the pointy tip, you let go to enable yourself to talk once again. Seeing him watch your face a little more intently as you speak is oddly endearing. "See? All humans have these teeth, they're called "canines", but mine are extra big and sharp. It's called Macrodontia." 

"I... I never noticed..." He replied after a pause, speaking softly as his processor works over what you've just shared with him. There's hesitation holding back an obvious buzz of excitement, as if he doesn't want to take a risk and believe he's finally found someone who understands, or is worried you might be offput by the true level of his excitement. Equally concerned about not overwhelming him or overstepping, you reply using a casual tone to mask your eagerness to connect with him.

"As small as I am, no one here has." You say matter of factly, briefly wondering if any unpleasant sentiment would have been directed your way if your size didn't hide the feature. Flashbacks of taunts on Earth are overwritten by self admonishment, as you know for a fact nothing you've endured could ever compare to what he faces on a daily basis in terms of sheer isolation. No doubt the teeth also play into bot's assumptions on his "aggressive" nature too. Not wanting to make the moment about yourself, but also determined to let him know you would never do to him what others have done to you, you're left fumbling between what feels like two conflicting ideals. "Sometimes people made fun of me for it on Earth, so I... I know it's not the same as what you face, so I don't want to say I "understand" how you feel or anything, but-"

"Y/N... I think you do. A lot more than most." He says, not so much interrupting as reassuring you that the backpedaling isn't necessary. Letting out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, the warm satisfaction of being able to help someone in a trying moment settled over your heart with a kind of fuzzy giddiness. There's a renewed brightness in his optics as he looks to you without shame and speaks openly. "Thank you for sharing this with me, and I assure you I won't tell a soul. But if anyone ever does find out, and gives you trouble..."

There's a gentle fade to silence as you lay a tiny hand on his.

"It doesn't have to be secret. I'm not ashamed of the way I am, especially considering who I share the look with." You say, and the effect is so profound his smile actually appears to brighten before the rest of his expression.

"I'll still be here for you, just as you've been here for me."

"Consider the feeling mutual."

---------------------------------

"Then there's this particular blade; do you see how it doesn't have any sharpened edge?"

Due to your size, you could probably see the finer details of the weapon even more clearly than your friend did, and thus the total lack of serrated sides was quite apparent. Thankfully the missing edge also made it easier to observe the features Drift was describing while he held the blade out for you to see, as you could get quite close without having to worry about excessive caution. It didn't hurt that you also wanted to observe as much detail as possible. Following along with him had taught you amazing things, and he actually seemed to grow more enthusiastic when you were attentive.

"Yeah! It's all just tapered to a point, like a stake." You said, sitting casually on the floor amongst the neatly arranged armory of swords and daggers of incredible variety. From the way Drift is gleefully chatting from his own spot in front of you, one might have thought he was discussing something more akin to collectibles than weapons of war, but this behavior had become so normal to you that the oddness didn't even register. As far as you were concerned, he was simply a friend sharing something he was passionate about. Seeing him smile so brightly made it even better.

"Precisely! This style is very unique; it's meant for close combat, either as a last resort in a sword fight or a single strike for assassination." He said, holding up the blade and flipping it elegantly over his palm. Optics almost shining with delight, he spoke so enthusiastically you could see his sharpened dentae peeking through every smile, which he only allowed to happen when he felt truly comfortable. Before you knew it your own cheeks were pushing up in an absolutely beaming grin, one enthusiastic enough to show your own little fangs as well. Seeing Drift this... free just stirred a kind of warm happiness in your heart you didn't know was possible. It seemed to only happen in select moments, but it was definitely becoming more frequent the longer you two were friends, and it was hard to miss how his happiest days seemed to occur only in your presence...

"Oh, and then there's this one!"

You startled as he pulled out a similiar but far more elegant blade seemingly from nowhere, moving so swiftly the fine edge made a whistle as it cut through the very air, but as he began to gush about the particular nature of this weapon you settled back in to listen eagerly. Truthfully you could sit here and let him talk through every weapon he'd ever owned. Being his friend was a reward in itself that you enjoyed each day.

---------------------------------

For the sake of the bot working so diligently, you tried to avoid moving in any significant way, going so far as to take shallow breaths whenever possible. It was resulting in rather minimal oxygen intake, but you saw it as worth it due to how little you disturbed his concentration. Unfortunately your metabolism really didn't approve of the sacrifice.

Thankfully, Drift had become familiar enough with human biology and you in general to notice just as you were starting to get dizzy.

"Y/N?" He prompted, getting you to crack your eyes open just a notch to look at him. Still unwilling to risk his work, you willed up the tiniest hint of air through your throat to respond without moving your mouth.

"Mm?"

A blurry smile came through your narrowly parted eyelids, his sense of reasurance shining bright despite the limited view you had as he spoke softly. "You can relax, I can do this fine with you moving a little."

Opening your eyes all the way, the words admittedly acted as a switch for your lungs, which sucked in a deep breath through your nose to catch up with your deficit. Relieved and feeling a little silly, you took a few more quick inhales as he paused his painting of your face. Apparently you'd been much closer to passing out than you'd realized... When dizziness finally faded away, you looked back to him with a sheepish smile and a permissive look for him to continue. Drift smiled right back and lifted the tiny brush again with another little reminder. 

"But even if I were having a problem, you staying conscious is more important than not smudging paint."

"Sorry, just don't want to mess up your hard work." You replied, now content to breathe normally but still doing your best to stay motionless atop his desk. The sentiment seemed to touch him, as there was a hint of a delay in his next brushstroke, but a little merry flash in his optics. Being appreciated in anything was still quite new for him, after all. Even with you his list of true friends remained sadly short. 

"Painting these symbols is just as much about the process as the result. Taking the time to get it right, even fixing little details, is all part of it." He murmured as the tiniest touch of a miniscule brush flicked under your right eye, his voice expressing his focus until he pulled back and relaxed with a quip. "Plus, you're actually doing better than I'm used to. Rodimus is always so twitchy when we try this."

A tiny snort of laughter escaped you at the image of a frustrated Lost Light captain getting antsy in a chair. "I can believe it."

There was an unusually long pause as Drift seemed to survey his work, mouth pressing into a thin line before he held up a bot sized mirror and looked at you with an expression just barely restraining hope for approval.

"Here, want to see so far?"

There was no need to exaggerate; you loved it. A part of you wished the intricate red could be permanent due to how beautiful it looked on your features, especially with how perfect the symbols were at accentuating what you liked most about your appearance. Tilting your head from side to side, you admired the expert craftsmanship with a smile impossible to hide, and were emphatic in expressing your thoughts.

"Drift, it looks amazing!"

"I'm glad..." He said on a sigh of relief, backtracking under the guise of a fake cough moments later. "I'm glad you like it! These patterns and colors are a very pure expression of friendship, so getting them right is... Yeah."

Seeing him so vulnerable pulled out the same desire to comfort him that had started your relationship, though unlike then you were totally certain now as you laid a proportionally tiny hand on his. "Marks or no marks, you're still my best friend."

Despite how casual the words left your lips, he looked just as touched as he'd been at your initial interaction in the canteen, and seemed quite affected as he lowered the mirror and replied. "You mean it?"

"Always." Came your automatic response.

---------------------------------

The Lost Light, being as massive as it was, had a wealth of rooms including viewing decks up for grabs at any given time. With one wall consisting almost entirely of windows to view the beauty of the cosmos, and plenty of space to set up furniture or whatever else one might need, they were a naturally popular choice for social gatherings. While some in ideal positions had become more sought after than others, they were plentiful enough that any given bot had no need to worry about being unable to find a space for any occasion. Thus they were perfect for gatherings of any size at any time for all who called the ship home.

Despite the ease of procuring such a space on demand, however, Drift had been quite insistent on the specific one he'd rushed you towards without warning. Accustomed to his often sporadic ideas, you'd happily let him carry your tiny form in his broad arms when he promised explanations would be coming. Admittedly the fact that he'd appeared nervous had given you some pause though...

Until you'd actually seen the viewing deck and what he'd arranged within.

Framed almost as if by hand, a brilliant red cloud of space dust sparkled in the infinite blackness beyond, giving the room a soft glow akin to a warm fire or a fantastic sunset. Spectralism heralded such a color as one of friendship and eternal bonds, and as you took in the recently arranged decorations around the room that made a brilliant kind of sense. From the gem studded light strings wound about the ceiling, to the crystalline flowers flanking the door, and the little table in the center draped in fabric to look somewhat like an altar, it's clear the whole room has become a Spectralist symbol of true companionship. With everything you two have been through together, you have a good feeling as to why. It's so touching you actually have to fight the urge to cry.

"I spent so long getting everything ready, the nebula kind of snuck up on me..." He said bashfully, still holding you in his hands as he walked forward with a little sigh. The story painted a clear image in your head of a studiously decorating bot looking up to be surprised by a giant anomaly in space, as if it was a guest arriving earlier than it was supposed to, and you had to chuckle at his adorable nature. "But I don't want to miss it, so I hope you'll forgive me if things aren't perfect. The backdrop is just too important."

Certain as you were about the purpose of all this, you still decided to open with a question, letting your friend take the lead with you as support. "What is it the backdrop for?"

"I think you know, but..." He said, smiling through significant nerves despite how clear it was you were fully on board. For all of his progress, the poor bot was still easily overwhelmed by doubt. The fact that he'd made this attempt all on his own, even with obvious anxiety every step of the way, made you proud as much as you were touched by his gesture. Approaching the little table, he set you down on it with a deep ventilation. Something quite positive but weighty needed to come off his chest.

"You've only been in my life a little while, yet every day our friendship has gotten stronger, Y/N. You're one of the few people who can look past my mistakes, and you remind me why I want to be better in the first place. I want to let you know how truly I value your companionship."

Though he spoke quickly, enough that he clearly had memorized the words and worried about saying every one, you were absolutely touched near to the point of tears. He'd spoken about Amica Endura in the past, particularly as of late when he'd dropped not so subtle tests to gauge your feelings on the topic, but nothing could have prepared you for him actually requesting such a thing of you. It was the deepest expression of platonic love known to his kind, meant for friendships that endured through their seemingly endless lifetimes. To be considered worthy of such a thing simply made your heart feel like bursting with gratitude.

Lowering his voice a tad, as if to separate his next sentence from everything else, he offered you a hand and smiled softly but warmly in the delicate light.

"If... If you're okay with it... I'd like to become Amica Endura. I know you mentioned the idea sounded good, and that I'm you're best friend, but I just want to check." He said, speaking so tenderly you might have forgotten he was multiple times your own height. Happier than you could convey in words, you nodded and had to sniffle back some tears. To think of the suffering this bot had endured, the exclusion and bullying he went through every day, yet still he found the strength to be so kind... What were the odds a little human would end up meaning so much to him? At your dotting of tears, he tenderly tilted your chin upwards. "Y/N?"

"Sorry, just... You know I can be a sap." You said through a laughing sob, brushing away the wetness from your eyes to see him clearly when you spoke next. Holding one of his digits, you put your heart and soul into every word. It felt somewhat akin to baring a spark of your own. "But I do want to be Amica, for real. You're my best friend and I want that to be forever."

There was an immediate dampness in his optics, but he pushed it back with a few quick cycles of his shutters. Putting on the most wobbly of smiles, he lifted both hands and had you lay your own atop his digits, the closest the two of you could get to clasping them together. "Okay, I... I just hold your hands, say some words, and then you say "today, tomorrow, and always" after I do. Got it?" 

Nodding, you watched in awe as he leaned back and opened his spark casing, revealing the brilliant glow of his essence to blend with the soft light already present, making it look like a miniature star was flaring in his chest. Cycling another vent, he looked into your eyes as he began.

"I bid you stand in the glow of my spark, so that you may feel the heat of my words and know them to be true."

The fact that the words were meant to be purely allegorical didn't make them any less powerful. You really could feel warmth from him, but almost on a different level than you'd ever experienced before, as if your happiness and his were filling the air between you. Perhaps the Spectralist beliefs about color connecting to emotion was true in ways you hadn't expected. Light from the cosmic cloud outside almost seemed to give his words the backdrop they needed to truly connect as he wanted, allowing every one to go straight to your heart and fill it with all the warmth and love he felt for you every day. 

"I invite you to receive my light and in doing so become my Amica Endura—from now until forever." 

You squeezed his hands softly as he hiccuped just a little, encouraging him to continue, and his voice broke a tad as he did.

"Y/N, for your empathy... As you are to me, may I be to you—today, tomorrow, and always."

A bit of coaxing was needed when it was your turn, not because you were hesitant but rather due to how difficult speech was while emotions overflowed your heart. Shamelessly sniffling and letting happy tears fall down a beaming smile, you took a deep breath at his soft look of reasurance. He trusted you to take your time in this. 

"Today, tomorrow, and always." You said to seal the bond, meaning it with every fiber of your tiny being to stand by this bot to the end of your days. The two of you had met by chance, had started to bond over the littlest of moments, and now you were here. It was more perfect than things often went for anyone. Yet there was no need to question the how or why, especially when it led to a friendship as pure as this one. As he closed his spark chamber, you felt residual warmth in the air like the lingering of an embrace.

Which became a very real one when he scooped you up for a hug that was wordlessly agreed upon. Unable to wrap your arms around him at all, you settled for holding them wide and letting him press you close, feeling the smoothness of his heated armor as it hummed with life. Despite being as tiny as you were, it seemed quite apparent the hug was as powerful for him as it was for you. Tiny, happy sobs occasionally bounced his shoulders like little hiccups. It was a moment you could have lived in forever.

When he parted to give you a grin so genuine it confidently displayed his sharpened dentae, you did the same, unable to believe such little things could have the most wonderful of outcomes.

Support me here if you like my writing! Every donation helps me secure more time to create, and the same goes for commissions, which are always available!

#transformers #maccadam #mtmte #more than meets the eye #lost light #ll #idw #tf #my writing #commission #kofi #kofi commission #human reader #self insert #platonic #amica endura #drift

[potatotrash0]

okay unoriginal but ahhhh genshin danganronpa au......

i kinda see makoto as the anemo archon dkjfkshd he’d be much different personality wise from venti but their views line up from what i can tell. letting the people rule themselves and keeping watch from afar, encouraging them to find purpose in their freedom.....that sounds like makoto to me. i’d like to think he keeps the archon thing under wraps so he can just wander around mondstadt normally like zhongli does.

speaking of which, i think byakuya might work as the geo archon. contracts and stiff aura and all. though he’d be more lonesome than zhongli and probably have a better grasp on his money haha. for a businessman, he’s awfully content to sit back and just pitch in occasionally but zhongli is also meant to be a support, so i figure it could work. also i just. love the idea of makoto and byakuya bonding over the whole immortal god thing like they do over their shared trauma in canon.........

i think nagito might work as the anemo adeptus? the hp draining fighting style and karma thing matches up a bit with ko’s horrible self depreciation and esteem as well as his luck cycle if you squint. xiao’s design is also pretty firmly rooted in chinese culture and ko’s name implies an older lineage or something. also venti-xiao makoto-nagito parallels go brrrrrrrrrr (forgive my reaching here i’m spitballing)

as for the traveler.......i have no idea dkfjskhfkd. there’s so many characters that it’s hard to pick just one. i’m biased towards traveler hajime abyss prince izuru because i just want hajime and makoto shenanigans and later on, hajime trying to get nagito to chill out during the lantern rite. also izuru would totally have the skill to be able to just climb up the ranks like that especially if he were bored and found that kinda thing to be interesting. (and the aesthetic of that idea bangs hard i will not lie)

oooo but also i just thought of traveler mukuro abyss princess junko........mukuro would definitely be desperate to try and find her sister again, but i could see her being willing to help out everyone else along the way. junko would also totally become the abyss princess just because she could and have the time of her life doing it.

in the case of mukuro-junko, i think the unknown god could be izuru. if it’s hajime-izuru then junko would probably fit. also if we go with the “paimon is the unknown god” theory, can you imagine mukuro traveling with a little hajime? dkfjkehf their friendship......so pog.......though i’m not sure who paimon would be if it were hajime-izuru twins. maybe chiaki? though her and izuru being the same person trips me out a bit aha.........

oh but in the note i have in bear about this au, i actually have kyoko as the traveler! no abyss leader is listed, though i’m thinking maybe shuichi because 1.) detective solidarity and 2.) honestly evil shu is one of my favorite things ever......or maybe he could be paimon because of the mc/helper vibes? that also could lead back to the bad guy shu thing. ack i like all of these possibilities......ohhh and it could also work with kaede traveler!! gah i could see her being so heartbroken finding out that shuichi, someone she trusted and used to travel with, could betray her like that......

uh moving on, so. i know we don’t have much info on the other archons and i just listed her as a traveler but. but but but!!!! consider: electro archon kyoko. just. the purple aesthetic matches so hard......also something i notice, people with electro visions tend to have a strong sense of devotion to something? razor to his lupical, lisa to her magic and research of the elements, keqing to her work and the qixing. beidou, her ship and crew, and fischl, her fantasies. kyoko’s pretty dedicated to being a detective, and i figure it could work.

also i just like anemo and electro because it brings up the imagery of a storm, but also like. electricity isn’t the most gentle thing ever. kyoko isn’t super soft all the time, but she does have a soft spot for makoto, and i like the image of him sweeping in on a gust of wind and her laughing quietly, her eyes sparking a bit as he stumbles and lands next to her with a big goofy grin. just. man i love them.......also i like the image of geo and electro not being the most compatible or reactive elements together and kyoko and byakuya kinda begrudgingly getting along because of makoto dkfjskjdjshdk

#and that’s where i’m cutting myself off because i refuse to let myself ramble on any longer unless it’s a reblog or separate post #i came up with everything past adeptus nagito on the spot if you can believe it #em rants #danganronpa #dr1 #dr1 spoilers #sdr2 #sdr2 spoilers #ndrv3 #makoto naegi #byakuya togami #kyoko kirigiri #hajime hinata #izuru kamukura #nagito komaeda #junko enoshima #mukuro ikusaba #shuichi saihara #kaede akamatsu #long post #komahina #naegami #naegiri #arguable but eh #the naegiri is strongest with this #dr genshin au #just. i’ll just make that tag for me........

[screeching-painter-witch]

hello! some soft, fluffy drarry headcanons if you ship them pls? 🥺

absolutely i do

- harry acts like an idiot when he likes someone (we saw him with cho)

- draco bullies the people he likes 

- this makes for an amazing conbination /s

- they both have self worth issues so they can’t accept the fact that someone, especially someone they like, has a crush on them

- so even though they have probably liked each other for years, they are both so oblivious that they are the last people in all of hogwarts to find out about it

- i like to think that, in seventh (eighth?) year, ron, hermione and luna (in my headcanon luna and draco are kind of friends; they’re not very close, but luna was alone because she was bullied and draco was alone because of his lack of genuine friends and his family’s pressure so they hung out occasionally) tried to get draco and harry alone together

- at first, they argue, but then draco’s like “fuck it” and asks harry to go to hogsmeade with him. harry says “why would you want that?” and draco replies with “because i like you, idiot”

- they confess their feelings to each other, they kiss, yada yada yada

- at first, they are kind of uncomfortable with affection and draco has trouble openly expressing his feelings (the dursleys were awful and i can’t believe the malfoys were very nice either), but it only takes them a few weeks to warm up to each other

- but because they “missed” so many years secretly pining, they are now the most disgustingly affectionate couple ever

- they are always somehow touching each other. whether it’s full on cuddling or just holding hands. they constantly hold hands

-draco loves lying down with his head on harry’s lap; draco loves having his hair played with and no one can change my mind

- harry sits in draco’s lap often (draco melts every single time)

- i think they both alternate between big spoon and little spoon

- both draco and harry often have nightmares, so even in hogwarts they share a bed (they are in different houses but no one has the heart to say no to them after everything they went through). they comfort one another after every nightmare, it helps them immensely to be together and they calm down more quickly after bad dreams

- they don’t really make out in public, but they constantly hold hands and stare lovingly into each others eyes while saying things like “i can’t believe you would choose to be with me, i’m the luckiest person in the world” to the point where their friends would honestly prefer it if they just made out

- harry is a good cook, and draco finds that so cute

- one time, rich boy draco tried to cook for harry to repay the favour. it went about as well as you would expect. harry was laughing, but he found it touching that draco even tried

- they go to cafes to judge random strangers people-watch  

- they’re never mean, but they are a bit judgemental

- after they get married, draco calls harry “mr malfoy” and harry calls draco “mister potter”, even though neither of them change their names

- it’s absolutely disgusting /j

- ron makes fun of them for it at first, but cringe culture is dead and he quickly realises that

- draco and harry go on double dates with luna and ginny

this was so fun to write! if you have any other requests, feel free to send an ask!

#harry potter #hp #drarry #draco malfoy #draco x harry #draco malfoy x harry potter #i do not support jk rowling #if you are a transphobe please get off my blog #thanks!

[madsthewordclown]

Fire Lily | Pt. 11

warnings: slight angst I guess?

a/n: this chapter is a bit shorter than the last two I believe. It’s mainly just Y/N having some bonding moments with the Gaang. I honestly feel like she’d vibe with all of them in different ways? Anyway, I’m excited. This is set during The Awakening.

Fire Lily Masterlist

Y/N almost wanting to cry with relief as she took off the Fire Nation armor. The ship had stopped in the port of a village and Toph and Sokka had invited her to come along to find dinner. Hakoda had said that the armor wouldn’t be necessary for the trip, so Y/N would get to put it away for the night.

Maybe she’d be able to find a shirt while they were in town. She had a small amount of money of her own—she had offered it to be used for the crew, but for whatever reason, Hakoda had declined. Y/N had a hard time figuring out Hakoda. If their roles were switched, she probably wouldn’t have trusted him. But he was treating her no differently than the others.

“Ready to go?” Katara asked, peeking her head in the doorway of the room they shared.

“Yeah.” Y/N eyed the hook swords that laid next to her cot. She made the difficult decision not to bring them. They were far enough into Fire Nation territory that her bending probably wouldn’t be questioned. Plus, they had Toph.

Y/N met Katara, Sokka, and Toph in the hallway outside of their shared room.

“Let’s see if Aang wants to go with us,” Katara suggested, her expression pained. Even though Aang was awake, Katara will still obviously worried about his condition. The kid seemed to have a tendency to overexert himself.

Y/N and the others followed Katara to one of the upper levels of the ship. Toph handed her a brown cloak on the way. “Better safe than sorry,” she explained.

Y/N tugged the cloak over her shoulders and secured the clasp. They finally came to a stop in front of a metal door similar to their own. Katara knocked softly before entering. Y/N and the others followed.

“Hey, Aang! We’re going into town to find some dinner if you want to come!” Toph smiled at Aang, who was leaning back on his own cot.

“I am pretty hungry.” Aang sat up, a hand on his stomach. He was obviously still a bit weak, and it made Y/N’s hands feel jittery.

Sokka stepped forward, holding out a piece of cloth to Aang.

“Here, put this on. It’ll cover your arrow.” The arrow was already mostly covered by Aang’s hair. Y/N didn’t think it looked right on him, although she had only seen him twice before the battle with Azula.

Aang looked affronted, flopping back down onto his mattress. “I’m not going out if I can’t wear my arrow proudly.” It made Y/N’s heart twinge. She couldn’t begin to understand what Aang was facing. It was enough to fight a war without having to let go of your own culture’s traditions.

“Aang, come on,” Sokka pushed. “Be practical.”

“Go ahead without us,” Katara said softly, putting a hand on Sokka’s shoulder before turning to Aang. “We’ll catch up.”

Y/N averted her eyes, feeling like an intrusion. Sokka nodded. Y/N was startled to feel Toph grab onto her hand to pull her from the room, the door shutting softly behind them.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Sokka announced. Y/N hummed in agreement. They hadn’t been able to stop yesterday, so they were living on leftovers. Plus, they weren’t able to eat regular meals. As it turned out, the Fire Nation didn’t respect their schedule.

The three made their way up to the deck of the ship, the port they’d landed in visible. There weren’t many people out and about, from what Y/N could tell.

“Is this a true Fire Nation island? Or a colony?” Y/N asked aloud.

“I think it’s a colony.” Sokka threw the hood of his own cloak up over his head. “We’re too close to Earth Kingdom mainland. The important thing is there are no soldiers.”

“Well, we’re here,” Toph pointed out. “All of the villagers must think we’re soldiers.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess you’re right.” Sokka led the way down the gangplank and onto the wooden dock. “C’mon, let’s find the market.”

They continued to walk into the streets of the village. While there weren’t many people around, Y/N noticed a few faces peeking from windows. They looked to be Earth Kingdom citizens. Y/N noticed a woman and child in the Fire Nation’s signature red walking down the street calmly.

“Have you ever been to the colonies before?” While Y/N hadn’t technically lived in the colonies, she had lived right on the outskirts. Her father’s estate was still Earth Kingdom territory, although they were still subject to the occasional visits from Fire Nation soldiers. But the village they went to for food, and where Bihun went to school, was Fire Nation territory.

“No. They seem like a bit of a drag,” Toph admitted, kicking a stray pebble in front of her.

“This one must be pretty new,” Y/N mumbled, looking around at the darkened houses.

“What makes you say that?” Sokka questioned.

“When I was little, the village near my house was a lot like this. Earth Kingdom citizens were afraid to leave their homes. The Fire Nation people, not just the soldiers, constantly belittled us. There was a Fire Nation boy that picked on me at the market once when I was little.

“But it’s not like that anymore. It took a while, but it became a lot more like everyone was coexisting. My older brother went to school with Fire Nation kids. Most kids stuck to their cliques, and it wasn’t always peaceful, but… it was getting better. Or at least, it was before I left. This is more like an occupation.”

“Huh. That’s… interesting,” Sokka hummed.

“The soldiers definitely caused more trouble than anything. But people are just people. Eventually, they’ll figure out how to coexist as long as someone isn’t pitting them against each other.”

“That’s an interesting perspective,” Toph observed.

“I hope I can go back once the war is over.” It was the first time Y/N really had an idea for what came after. “I want to find my brother and see my family again.” The dream Y/N had the night before came back to her. Boiling rock. She could tell that Sokka wanted to ask what she meant about her brother and was grateful when he kept it to himself.

“Look!” Toph pointed suddenly. In front of them, a man was rolling a cart full of bags of rice across the road.

“Yes!” Sokka punched the air in victory. “Food!”

“Finally.” Y/N smiled, feeling her heart flutter as she set off running alongside Sokka and Toph to catch up to the man.

---

The Avatar was gone. It was probably the worst-case scenario. They had pulled out of port and were on their way when Katara went to bring Aang a tray of food. The wind had picked up, and the weather seemed to be going bad. The added wind going west was helping the ship move along at a very quick pace. Sokka said that they’d probably officially be in the Fire Nation within hours.

Y/N watched the stormy skies with a furrowed brow. Aang had taken his glider. The added factor of the turbulent weather made it that much worse. It was already dark from the setting sun, covered by the dark clouds. Y/N remembered how weak he still appeared and shuddered. He hadn’t eaten anything before he left, either.

Y/N pulled her cloak tighter around her body to shield herself from the wind. The ship lurched in the water, and suddenly Y/N regretted eating so much rice. She could tell that Toph felt the same as the girl held her stomach.

“He can’t have gone far,” Y/N reasoned, approaching Katara, who was obviously beside herself. “I’m sure he must have found land not too far from here.”

“We have to find him,” Katara stated simply, her eyes severe. Y/N put a hand on the other girl’s shoulder in an attempt to be comforting.

“And we will. We just have to wait for the storm to die down. I’m sure your dad and Sokka have a pretty good idea of where we are.”

Katara’s face darkened more at the mention of her father. Y/N sighed.

“I don’t mean to intrude, but… why are you mad at him?”

“It’s just…” Katara bit her lip, glancing towards the floor. “After our mom died, Sokka and I were so lost. And then Dad had to leave, and I understand why, I really do, but… we needed him.”

“I think it’s okay to be a bit mad.” Y/N looked out at the dark water. “It isn’t really his fault, I guess. He had to leave. But you’re allowed to feel that way.”

“But I shouldn’t be mad at him,” Katara argued. “I know he had to leave.”

“That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.” Y/N thought of her own father. He would have left, too, if he were asked to fight. “But he did leave for you. He probably hoped that you wouldn’t have to fight. My father never wanted my brother and I to have to fight.

“He tried to keep us away from it all for so long. I didn’t even go to school because he was worried about my bending being discovered. And he was doing what was best for us, and I see that now. But I never had friends, and despite everything he tried to help me, I’m still scared of what I am. And that hurts. But I still love him, and I forgive him for all of it, because now I understand that he just wanted my brother and I to be okay.”

Y/N had surprised herself with how much talking she had done. “I’m sorry,” Y/N backtracked. “That probably wasn’t super helpful.”

“No.” Katara smiled. “Thank you, for talking to me.”

Y/N looked up as the rain finally began to fall, pelting the hull of the ship as the vessel swayed on the sea.

“Come on,” Katara offered, lifting her hands and waterbending the droplets away from them. “Let’s go inside. We’ll find Aang as soon as it stops.”

---

“This is the only area he could have landed.” Sokka pointed at the spot on the map. Y/N lit another lantern as she, Katara, Toph, and Sokka sat in the captain’s room with Hakoda and Bato. “Any other spot is too far away.”

“That’s too big of an area,” Katara protested, the worry still evident on her face. Toph yawned. They had all been awoken as soon as the rain had stopped, which turned out to be right before the crack of dawn.

“The wind was blowing to the northwest,” Y/N piped up, eying the map as she lit another lantern. “And with his condition he probably couldn’t be far from the coastline. He probably landed somewhere in the center of that region, because we were about—” Y/N pointed to a spot on the map— “here when the storm started, and he would’ve had to slow down when the rain started. And with the possibility of lightning, he’d have to have been flying pretty low.”

The others stared at Y/N for a moment in shock. Y/N shrugged. “I spent a lot of time in the library.” Her mother had spent countless hours tutoring her, since she couldn’t go to school. Bihun was convinced Y/N learned more at home than he did at school.

“I’ve also done a lot of traveling recently,” Y/N added, feeling her cheeks warm slightly.

“Alright,” Hakoda coughed. “We’ll head in and drop you kids off there. You can find Aang and then lay low, and we’ll meet you again later for the invasion.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Sokka stood, pulling Hakoda and Katara into a hug. Y/N’s heart ached, suddenly feeling the strong absence of her own family. It had been so long since they’d all been under the same roof.

“Let’s go,” Katara said determinedly as Sokka and Hakoda let go.

Katara gave the ship fog cover just in case as they creeped closer to land. Y/N was in awe of the land in front of them. It was rocky, with jagged hills. Y/N thought she could see the orange glow of lava in the distance. They were definitely in the Fire Nation.

The ship moved as close to the land as possible, letting the gangplank fall down into the shallow water. Katara did the rest, parting a dry path across the sand.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Y/N checked with Hakoda one more time. She knew it was valuable having a firebender on the ship.

“Go,” Hakoda insisted. “We can handle it. And we don’t want people to come around asking too many questions about Captain Yai.” Hakoda smiled. “Besides, my kids seem to like you.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said gratefully, reaching to shake Hakoda’s hand. Before she could react, Hakoda was pulling her into a brief hug.

“Take care of them, and we’ll see you in a few weeks,” he said.

“I will,” Y/N promised. She would do her best. She’d already failed once before at taking care of her friends, and she wasn’t eager to fail again.

“Coming, Captain?” Toph called from down in the sand where she was waiting with Sokka and Katara.

“Yeah,” Y/N shouted back, walking down the gangplank. When she hit the sand, she turned to and waved goodbye to the others on the ship. “Let’s find Aang.”

Fire Lily Masterlist

taglist: @kaylove12, @akariblue, @wolfiemichele, @aquatickanye, @sunflowerr-mami, @nadiblue

#atla fanfic #atla #eventual zuko x reader #zuko x reader #y/n x the gaang bonding time! #Hakoda is the best dad #book 3: fire #zuko x y/n #Firebender!y/n

[marshmallowprotection]

Sorry to bring this topic back now, but I'm honestly glad to see you talking about the passport tequila(?) thing. I haven't read your passport post yet because I wanna avoid spoilers for the passport just in case I manage to get it one day (but it'll take a while till that happens, seeing Cheritz still isn't shipping to Finland and I still haven't got the bodypillow I ordered from them in May), but I've seen two pictures of some of its contents already. The second one a photoset of him and MC (which btw was seriously adorable and made me wanna get the passport immediately, man he's so cute) and the first one I saw was the doodle of Saeran being passed out.

My friend messaged me about it, also pretty devastated and disappointed that the artist had drawn something like that in the passport, completely forgetting his past and trauma with alcohol. Honestly, because it was the first ever thing I heard about the passport's contents and the first doodle I saw, I was really disappointed and felt hesitant about ever getting it. I went on a whole rant about it back then and then later started feeling like I overreacted a bit...

But not gonna lie, it kinda upset me too because it just seemed so OOC for him to do? You pretty much already put how I feel about it into words really well. I just don't think he'd drink alcohol, seeing that's pretty much where his trauma came from, and also when I think about the friends and mutuals I have who've had alcoholic parents and swore to never drink themselves thanks to that, and how Saeyoung doesn't wanna drink because of his mum and they share that trauma…

Then after talking about it with a few friends I began to think that hey, maybe he wanted to try it out once and already after ONE sip went "too bitter DX" and didn't want more. He likes sweet stuff anyway, even if he didn't have all the trauma, I doubt his sweet tooth would like the taste of alcohol. The first impression my friend and I got was that he was DRUNK, but nah, now he just looks like he's suffering because it was too bitter lol

But then I saw someone here mention that it might not even be an alcoholic drink (or that he passed out from the heat) and hey, I'm just gonna go ahead and headcanon that now, it was just way too bitter for him

In the end I do think that the artist who worked on that passport wasn't entirely aware of his past, which is a shame. Or just didn't think about it. I think someone told them to "make some cute and funny doodles of him" and they thought "hey drunk Saeran lol that could be funny and cute" without thinking about it more, and that's how the doodle became a thing

You’re still waiting for that? Jesus, I hope that the mail service is able to open up soon for your country and that it’s okay for them to ship things around. It’s been a while now, I would’ve thought that they might have been able to work around to get it to you! Well, precautions are precautions, and those are important when the world is like this but huh. Odd that it’s not working around yet. 

It really unsettled me when I saw it. I thought, “Okay, maybe it’s not actually just straight-up tequila or booze, I can rationalize this away as something else cause it’s really not okay to me.” I know someone said in the post that it’s on the Wiki that Saeran’s not a big fan of soda because it gives him headaches, and I know that feeling, so if one wants to think it’s soda, they can. It’s easy to say, well, it’d be possible that it’s the dry heat of the country and he’s flopped over from that after finally getting something chilled. 

It’s easier for me to rationalize it in that manner instead of saying that it’s alcohol even though it’s clearly intended to be seen as that. I’ve unfortunately got similar trauma and I see myself in the Choi boys. Do you know how rare it can be to find characters that are adults that don’t drink or aren’t invested in drinking culture as a whole? I’m fine with people enjoying their vices and doing things in moderation but—

I just cannot relate to it. I’m nearly 24 and I cannot stand even the smell of that stuff. It’s fine if you enjoy your wine or liquor or whatever, it just feels in such poor taste to draw out someone drinking that has made it very clear that they aren’t comfortable with drinking, and they shouldn’t have to explain out their trauma to have their feelings justified. The whole, “Just one sip, it won’t really hurt you,” is so toxic.

Can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that when I’ve made it very clear that I’m uncomfortable with that and I would rather chug dish soap than be subjected to booze. 

I’m proud of Saeran for how far he’s come in his AE. I sincerely am, emotionally he’s doing so much better and he’s working on himself, but I really don’t see him or his brother ever trying alcohol. There could be a point where maybe they just say, “What the hell did she even see in this? What do people even see in this stuff?” and they try one singular sip, and go: “Yeah, no, this isn’t the thing for me, no thanks.” 

I’m cool with that if that is what they choose to do. It’s their body, their trauma, and their choice. 

Saeyoung and Saeran have very clear trauma from Alcoholism. It’s made very clear from the both of them that they don’t drink. Seven notes that he’s about as straight-laced as they come when it means alcohol or smoking. Unknown can’t really be counted as a smoker, he literally used that as an excuse during the SE to contact Mint Eye. So, I’ve never read him as a smoker, either. It was a good excuse. Neither of them gets involved with addictive vices that are legal for you to use. 

I struggle with fanon content sometimes because I’ll find stories or imagines where the writer has shown Saeyoung or Saeran drinking, and I just have to nope out of that setting. It’s not cute or cheeky. I personally don’t answer any requests that involve the boys drinking because I’ve made my stance very clear on the subject and how I feel about depicting characters that do not want to drink and have made it known that they do not want to drink as drinking. The rest of the RFA? Sure, some of them drink occasionally, fairly in moderation, which is alright. 

The Passport itself is really cute, no spoilers, but that’s the only thing within its contents that made me uncomfortable. The rest of it was definitely worth what I paid for and it made me smile if that’s any comfort to you. It’s just that one little doodle that just... yeah, I think I would go with your theory on this one, and that being that the artist might not have known specifically about the brothers or what they’ve dealt with in their lives, and just went with a cute idea they had and it’s not really anything huge. 

It’s fine to drink and all, but it’s equally important to respect when someone says that they don’t want to do it. That is a personal choice, and I just wish more folks would consider Saeran and Saeyoung’s feelings on the matter since it’s been stated in the canon plenty, specifically by Saeyoung during his Routes events in the game, and you can infer from Saeran fairly easily given what he was subjected to in his life. 

TLDR; It’s fine to drink when you want to do it, and there’s nothing wrong with it in moderation; but, it’s important to respect that not everyone wants to drink or get involved with that sort of stuff. 

#tw alchoholism #spoiler #spoilers #ask #mod kait #sensetenou #saeran passport #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #saeran #saeran choi #choi saeran #ge saeran #saeray

[sokkathebluewolf]

Is there any character that you originally wrote as a super minor character, but you’ve ended up changing your plan so that they have a larger role?

This is honestly a really funny question, and I really hope you’ll enjoy the answer.

When Gladiator started out, I decided I’d be too bored writing about bland and flat soldiers with zero personality or depth to speak of. Canon did feature a few Fire Nation soldiers with personality, but they weren’t all that fleshed out and virtually had no identity, so in a sense, I decided to rebel by actually giving my soldiers a little more relevance than that.

But it wasn’t meant to be a TON of relevance, you see... it really wasn’t. So when Captain Sokkla (that’s how everyone used to call him xD) suddenly became a hit with readers, I wondered if maybe I should expand his role even more than I had during the early arcs of Gladiator. He had no name for a long time in the story because he had no name in my head either, then it turns out the name I picked for him had a really cool meaning (as in, the guardian lion statues frequently seen in Chinese culture) and I had no idea xD it’s ironic how many amazing things came into place for Rui Shi to slowly but surely become the most popular of my OCs, as well as one of the actual main characters in the story. He’s subtle in many ways, and he’s never seeking to hog up attention... but the man’s definitely outgrown his initial role and become a most incredible character I’ve loved working with over the years.

Of course, if Rui Shi’s role wasn’t meant to be as big as it’s become, it’s probably pretty obvious that Song was also intended to have a supporting role, even if she had some moments of prominence in the early stages of the story here and there. A lot of the idea of giving Song a new life in Gladiator came from my lingering grumpiness at canon for not giving the poor girl a better resolution, so I wanted her to be more important, and treated better, in my story. Then, everyone started shipping her with Rui Shi and why lie? I enjoyed the idea of those two interacting right off the bat. Figuring out how to get their romance started was tricky, but damn, it’s been worth it. And I’m just going to come out and say it: Song is literally a breakout character. For the majority of Part 1 she was mostly a supporting character, with the occasional moments of relevance indeed, then she grew more important through Part 2, and that importance has only continued to escalate and rise higher as we come closer to the end of Part 2. From starting off as a maid and healer for Sokka, she’s honestly become one of Sokka and Azula’s best friends, and I’m not even going to talk about how absolutely CRUCIAL she’s going to be in Part 3. Much like her soulmate Rui Shi, this girl’s gone the distance and I could not be prouder of her for it xD

Next! I think I could lump in all of Azula’s guards along with Rui Shi, to a fault (despite he’s obviously the most important of them). Most of the guards didn’t even have names for a fairly long time, but I slowly grew to use them more, especially in the Festivals, and I just needed them to be individualized and relevant as they are. Of course, not all the ten guards are easily individualized yet... but they’ve all become near and dear to my heart over the years, that much I can confirm, and they’re definitely going to become more than nameless, faceless soldiers in the future, for they have some very important roles to play in the story by the end of Part 2 and eventually in Part 3.

Shoji also, of course, gained more relevance as the story progressed, to the point where I finally set him free from the confines of his desk for the first time in chapter 201 xD He’s a really fun character to write because of how innocent, sweet and good-natured he is. Giving him a bit more content to work with, including as good as becoming Haru’s foster brother (yes, Ran’s basically adopted Shoji by now x’D), made me very happy because he deserves the relevance, for sure.

The last one I’ll bring up... is Rei. Oh, my sweet, pure, wonderful Rei. She definitely could compete with Shoji in the contest of the sweetest characters in this wild story xD But of course, Rei’s role so far has been minimal and nobody really understands why I love her so much. To focus on your question, though, I pondered the idea of making her Zhao’s illegitimate daughter since the moment I came up with the character, back in chapter 138, but over the next months (heck, years, probably) I wondered if I should scrap that whole idea and just make her a regular maid with no further relevance than that. But when the time came to really plot Part 3 properly, to ponder if there was a role this girl could play by then... I was completely blown to bits by the possibilities, and I literally spent DAYS just plotting, not writing a single word, so I could unravel her future role in the story, which is just one of the many things I can’t wait to write already. Rei will breathe a lot of life into Part 3 as long as I do my job properly, and I guarantee she’ll be so much more important than I EVER anticipated she could be, back when I first came up with the character.

At any rate, there’s quite a fair share of characters who went the distance and completely shattered not just my expectations but who broke out of the plots I used to imagine for them. They’ve all outgrown their initial roles to varying degrees (Shoji, despite he’s more important now, won’t be as much of a main character as someone like Rui Shi, for instance, despite his role has indeed expanded plenty). You see... sometimes you have to enforce plot by any means necessary, restraining whatever wild ideas you get if they’ll derail your overall plans. But sometimes you have to cut yourself loose and let ideas run away with you... because who knows? Could be letting some characters gain life of their own is exactly the element you needed so your story could truly move forward in the right direction.

As an added note, Kino, the poor forgotten boy whom I did NOT forget xD was actually meant to have a prominent role from the moment I came up with him (as a fun factor in the South Pole, as well as a useful source of information for the Tribe before Zuko and Suki arrived), but... hehe, much like Rei and Song, this guy’s going to be much more important than I planned initially, even if I did plan for him to play a big-ish role from the start. I didn’t list him with everyone else because he was intended to be important all along, but he still became a much more relevant character than I expected once I plotted Part 3 better and certain possibilities came to life through his character. So he’s a case of “important who became even more important” rather than “supporting or background character who became essential to the story”, unlike everyone else I’ve listed here. There’s definitely a few others who suit that first category, and there’s probably more of the second one too, despite I can’t think of them right now... but thanks for the ask anyway, and I hope your curiosity has been sated, if just a bit :D

#anon #ask #rui shi #song #shoji #rei #kino #the guards #long post #but I hope thorough enough for your tastes #I love all these people #that's the truth

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Not for the ship but for the hilarious scenario: Mina takes Todorki out for ballroom dancing lessons. Todoroki is really good as it turns out, and Mina comments “Todoroki you’re on fire”, to which she means that he accidentally activated his left side

This idea was absolutely adorable and I honestly could’t resist!!! I took a few liberties regarding the circumstances for the class but I hope you still enjoy this!

As far as Todoroki Shoto was concerned, he was only there out of necessity. 

Part of being a Pro Hero was the occasional glitzy, black tie events that involved the paparazzi, ridiculously exotic dishes and - worst of all - dancing. Shoto didn’t necessarily hate dancing. Fuyumi had taken some dance classes when they were younger and he’d enjoyed the few moments of reprieve where he was allowed to watch her work through complicated steps. It was something be found admirable, but not exactly something he’d want to participate in himself. When the cultural festival rolled around, he’d been more than content with his position on the effects team as opposed to the dance team. That wasn’t to say he thought that dancing was pointless or anything of the sort. He had watched how hard the dance team had worked in their rehearsals and knew how taxing the craft could be. He had the utmost respect for people that enjoyed doing dance as either a hobby or a profession. It just wasn’t something he was particularly interested in learning for himself.

But then his father insisted he look into taking some classes for the sake of appearances.

Fuyumi had been quick to suggest a dance studio he could take the classes at. The only stipulation had been that he would need to find a partner of his own. When he had thought about it, asking one of his classmates made the most sense. They’d be about his age, his height, and could probably benefit from the classes as well.

And once he determined that, figuring out who to ask became a rather simple task.

“Huh, not nearly as ritzy as I thought this place would be,” Ashido commented as they approached the dance studio. Her arms were folded behind her back as she took a step closer to the door, tilting her head this way and that to get a better look at it. Ashido, as the cultural festival revealed, was the best dancer among them. It only made sense that she’d make for a good partner in a class like this. “Since your family is rolling in the big bucks, I figured it’d be one of those hoity-toity kind of places. Like, the kind where they’d yell about ‘the culture’ of dance if you missed a step.”

He shrugged. “A friend of my older sister teaches the class we’re here for,” he said before moving past her to open the door. He held it so Ashido could slip in first before following her.

The young woman at the front desk perked up and smiled brightly at them. “Hello there! How can I help you kids?”

“We’re here for the ballroom class led by Hitsugaya-San,” he said.

She blinked and tilted her head. “Ah, excellent! What are your names?” she hummed, grabbing a clipboard from the small wall behind her. After verifying they were on the roster, she pushed up from her seat. “I’ll lead you up. You’re going to be on the second floor, in studio room C. I believe Hitsugaya-San’s already in there doing warm-ups with the other early arrivals.”

As they followed her up, Ashido leaned over to Todoroki. “Hey, Todoroki-Kun, this instructor isn’t gonna be, like, super strict, is she?” she asked quietly, seeming a bit uneasy. That seemed rather out of character for her.

“I’m not sure,”

“But you said she’s a friend of your sister!”

He blinked slowly and stared at her. “Yes, she is,”

“So you’ve met her, right?”

“Once or twice. Again, she is my sister’s friend; not mine,” he said patiently. He tilted his head at how Ashido ran a hand through her pale pink curls and groaned quietly. “If you’re worried, you shouldn’t be. This is a beginner’s class. I doubt it will be too difficult. Besides, you’re a talented dancer.”

“I’m good when I’m doing my own thing!” she lamented, peeking at him.

Their guide stopped in front of a door. “Here you are, you two. Have fun!” she said before scampering off.

Shoto, however, turned his attention back to his classmate and frowned. “I don’t understand why you’re so worried. You have a great sense of rhythm, excellent timing, you choreographed the entire cultural festival routine… Why would a dance class be so intimidating? Because it’s a more classical style of dance?”

“I just told you… I do better when I can just do what feels right, you know? I’m terrible at following directions! I hate being restricted in how I can handle something!” she confessed, fidgeting her fingers.

“But you aren't,” he said, tilting his head slightly. Sometimes he didn’t really understand his classmates but this seemed like a strange one. “We’ve been in countless situations where your ability to take charge and know when to stand down have proven helpful. Not only to you, but to our class as a whole. It’s not that you can’t follow directions, it’s just that you know when you should and shouldn’t. I think that’s an admirable skill to have.”

The other stared at him for a moment before she let out a small chuckle and shook her head. “Geez, do you really have to be the package deal, Todoroki? Handsome and encouraging is such a lethal combination,” she said.

He wanted to argue with her that he wasn’t really all that attractive, but she opened the door and headed inside, grabbing his wrist and dragging him along with her. When they entered, a woman about Fuyumi’s age with maroon hair and bright purple bangs glanced over at them. She smiled as she walked over. “Ah, hello again, Shoto-Kun. I take it this is one of your school friends?” she asked, settling one hand on her hip.

“Hello, Hitsugaya-San,” he answered with a small nod. He then indicated the horned girl beside him with one hand. “This is Ashido Mina.”

“Um, hi. Thanks for letting us join your class, Hitsugaya-Sensei,” Ashido said with a nervous waggle of her fingers.

The other laughed at that. “Oh, goodness, hun! Don’t call me Sensei! That sounds way too stuffy!” She flicked the end of her ponytail over her shoulder casually as she spoke. “You guys can just call me Akiko-San, okay? I’m not gonna sweat about formalities like my mom and the other instructors do. Besides, you two know Fuyumi, so I can let it slide. For now, just line up along the mirror and do some stretches. Let me know if you need help figuring out how to stretch, but I think you know what to do.”

“Thank you,” Shoto said as they headed to join the others. After a few minutes of warm-ups and a few more students showing up, Akiko finally called them all together to get started. Another instructor had come in to join her, the pair of them giving the beginners a rundown of the basic steps they’d need to know for that lesson.

As they took the floor together, adapting to the steps they were shown, it became clear that Ashido was a natural at it. Shoto was grateful as she kept up with him, their steps perfectly timed and in sync. The longer they worked through their movements, though, the more she relaxed and started to have fun. Akiko took the time to even praise them for how they were doing when they broke away to do a small habit of ad-libbing in their motions, Mina taking the lead.

“You two are catching on quick! Might need to bump the pair of you up to the intermediate class!” Akiko giggled, clapping her hands as they pulled off a quick side step leading to Shoto dipping her.

Shoto had to be honest with himself; he enjoyed this one-on-one session with Ashido. He’d always known her from their class work, sure, but she was much more a member of Bakugo’s begrudging circle of friends while Shoto himself tended to spend his free time with Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Yaoyorozu. From the few interactions they had, he knew she clearly cared about the people around them and wanted to be a Pro Hero from a place of passion. He found that admirable. Outside of the cultural festival, however, he hadn’t really taken the time to get to know her better. And, to put it bluntly, he realized that she was just fun to be around. Her energy was just one of enjoying whatever she was doing and it was infectious, leaving him to have a blast himself.

It was nice and reminded him of a time long ago when he was always as carefree as he was dancing at that moment with Ashido leading him along the floor.

Mina herself giggled and Shoto felt a small smile turn up on his own lips. “Your feet are on fire, Todoroki!” she said.

“Thank you, Ashido. Your own movements are rather incredible as well,” he said, pivoting his body to allow them both to stand upright again.

She opened her mouth to say something else but gasped. “T-Todoroki! You’re really on fire!”

He blinked before glancing at his shoulder in surprise, a small flame blazing up and starting to make quick work of his shirt. “Shoto-Kun! Put it out!” Akiko yelped, scrambling back to flail a clipboard she’d had for checking who was in attendance at a nearby smoke detector.

He covered his other hand in a thick veil of ice and clapped it down on his shoulder a few times, dozing the flames before the smoke alarms could go off. His shirt, however, was now missing the entire sleeve. “Ah… Sorry, Akiko-San,” he muttered quietly.

She let out a small sigh and shook her head at him. “I swear, you teens these days are something else. Let me see if we have a spare shirt you can change into real fast, okay?” she chided lightly before turning to speak to the other instructor. Presumably about finding a replacement shirt for him.

He glanced over to see Ashido covering her mouth with one hand while the other wrapped around her middle, muffled giggles and snorts escaping her. “You give the phrase ‘burning down the dance floor’ a whole new meaning, Todoroki!” she laughed, throwing her head back to release a few louder peals of laughter.

And Shoto chuckled himself. If this was what having friends was like, he was glad his walls had dropped.

#crumbles grumbles #Ashido Mina #Todoroki Shoto #my fics #Okay but real talk #These two would be the most adorable friends ever #They'd have great comedic chemistry

[delaixplaysgames]

Ship: Kazunari Miyoshi/Reader

Rating: sfw

wc: 2,628

A/N: It’s my first A3 fanfic! and first fanfic in general since I was in grade school. My brain literally wouldn’t leave me alone until I got this mess out of my head. i’ll apologize now for any mistakes i made (i probably made a million)

It all started in your first year of middle school’s culture festival. You were just walking around the Art Club’s exhibition when your eyes fell upon a certain painting. There were so many other paintings to see, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of this specific one. You adored how the colors blended into one another to create such a mystic impression. “Do you like this one?” You turned around and saw the art teacher also looking at the piece. You nodded. “It’s wonderful. I can’t believe that a student made this.” “Do you want to meet the artist?” The teacher didn’t even wait for your response and called for another student in the room. A black-haired boy turned around and walked towards you two with a straight face. “Miyoshi, looks like you have a fan.” He looked at you with a bit of surprise. “Oh, um… Glad you liked it.” He bowed a little bit. You nodded, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt a bit. “I-It’s really pretty. It really stands out among the rest, M-Miyoshi-kun.” Your face felt warm as you felt the boy’s green eyes on you. “Thanks.” And that was your first conversation with Kazunari Miyoshi.

Ever since then, you unconsciously made it a habit to peek through the Art Room’s door window to get even a glimpse of Kazunari. The way his usual, serious facial expression softened when he painted made your heart flutter. You always tried to make it discreet with your visits so you didn’t look like a stalker, but you’d occasionally get caught by the art teacher while he was teaching or on the way into the classroom.

You would always take any occasion you could get to see Kazunari’s finished works, whether it’d be in school competitions, an exhibition, or another culture festival. You always felt so happy to see what kind of work he did and felt so excited to see what he’d come up with next. However, you always felt too embarrassed to see him face-to-face. So whenever the art teacher came up to you and asked if you wanted to talk with Kazunari, you would immediately refuse his offer and run off before Kazunari could see you. 

This continued up until your third year in middle school. This last middle school year was special because you made it into the same class as Kazunari. It made you extremely happy, knowing that you didn’t have to stealthily catch glimpses of him through the window all the time. 

However, there was one big problem.

You knew from the start that he was really serious about his studies and that he didn’t really talk with any of your classmates. You only ever heard him speak when the teacher called on him. And when class wasn’t in session he’d be quietly studying at his desk or working in the Art Room.

You’ve never tried making a conversation with him ever since your first year in middle school, so you didn’t have any ideas for a conversation. Sure, you could talk to him about his art, but wouldn’t it make you look weird if he realized that you’ve seen almost all of his works in competitions and galleries without even talking with him?

While you kept thinking of ways to strike up a conversation, time passed and your third year in middle school was coming to an end. You were pretty sure that you weren’t going to the same high school as Kazunari, so you started getting worried that you’d never get a proper conversation with him. 

On the day of graduation, you finally got enough courage to go up to him. You found him on his way to the Art Room after the graduation ceremony and nervously called his name.

“Do you need something?” he asked, obviously a little bit confused about why you’re talking to him.

“U-um.” You gulped. Feeling his gaze on you made your knees shake. “S-Since it’s the end of middle school, I was wondering if you have any social media so that we can… you know, keep in touch?”

He scratched his arm a bit awkwardly. “Oh, uh… sorry, I don’t really do social media.”

“O-oh, that’s fine.” You didn’t have a Plan B prepared. Even if you did, your brain isn't functioning properly to think about it since your hopes of keeping in touch with your long-time crush after middle school were crushed in a flash.

“Well, I’ll see you another time. I hope you have a good time in high school.” He bowed to you and quietly retreated into the art room.

And that’s how your second conversation with Kazunari Miyoshi ended.

You later found out that you and Kazunari were enrolled in different high schools and you were so upset at yourself for basically losing all connection with him. You had no clue whether or not he was still doing art or which school he was attending. You kept filling your mind with “I should’ve done this” and “I should’ve done that,” but you knew that you couldn’t fix it. However, despite not having him in your life for all of high school, you couldn’t forget about him. 

He left a big impression on you. You two only had two short conversations, but you knew he had more to say. It was clear in the way his expression changed whenever he was making art and the way he expressed himself in said work. The way he smiled when he finished a painting was something you couldn’t forget. So much so that you couldn’t be interested in anyone else in your high school. Kazunari was always on your mind whether he knew it or not. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier today, your friend gave you their free ticket to the Veludo Arts University exhibition since they figured that you might have a better use for it. You haven’t been to an art exhibition since middle school, but you found walking through the exhibit nice and calming. You forgot how much you enjoyed seeing what the artists had to offer.

You turn your head to the next painting and stop walking. It’s a breathtaking nihonga painting that you just couldn’t look away from. You love the way the colors compliment each other and the technical detail that was put into it. It was so gorgeous… and so nostalgic to look at. You go to find the caption of the piece when you hear a voice.

“Do you like this one?” You turn around to see a sandy blonde college student greet you. “You’ve been looking at it for a while, so I thought so.”

You nod. “It’s so beautiful. I can’t really put words to it, but… it’s stunning.” You laugh sheepishly. “You can probably tell I’m not really an artsy person, huh?”

He laughs with you as he stands beside you to look at the painting. “That’s totally fine! You don’t need to be artsy to like art if you ask me.” 

As he looks at it, something catches your eye. You secretly look up at the man’s face, who was pointing out certain details on the work. You see the way his eyes light up when he talks about it and how you felt butterflies when his expression softened.

Just like how he looked whenever he finished another work of art. 

 “Miyoshi-kun…?” 

The man stops in the middle of his sentence and turns back to you in a bit of surprise. Did he even tell you his name yet? After taking a better look at your surprised face he realizes what’s happening. 

“(Last Name)-san?” He sees the way you react to your name with a nod, confirming that it was you without any doubt. He scratches the back of his neck and looks down at the ground. “Um, wow, this is a bit…”

 “… Surprising? Awkward?”

“I was gonna go with ‘unplanned’ but those work, too.”

You give a short laugh in agreement but you just couldn’t wipe the shocked look off your face. While he was busy looking at the ground, you were trying to get a better look at Kazunari. At some point in time, his pitch black hair was bleached and dyed into a sandy blonde and he traded in his glasses for a pair of contacts. The way he dressed today was really in style, way different from what you thought he’d dress back then.

He’s basically a completely different person. 

You turn back to the painting, realizing why the painting felt so nostalgic. Kazunari didn’t paint traditional Japanese art back then, but this painting is definitely reminiscent of his personal style. Sure, he looked completely different, but he was still the same Kazunari that you fell in love with.

That didn’t change how you two haven’t seen each other since middle school and you’re now in your second year of college. It’s hard to break the ice.

“It’s… It’s been a while, huh?” Kazunari says quietly. “How’s life been?”

“C-college life, you know? Turning in essays three minutes before the deadline, not sleeping till two in the morning… the usual.”

“Oh, yeah. I totally get that.”

The conversation pauses again as both of you try to find another topic. You look around the exhibition, looking anywhere but in Kazunari’s direction.

“So… Veludo Arts University, huh? Glad to know that you're still doing art.” 

“Y-yeah. I’m majoring in traditional Japanese painting.”

“That’s... That’s cool.” 

Another pause in the conversation. The awkwardness is just palpable to the people passing by you two. Not wanting to disturb the people trying to enjoy the art, you two decide to sit on a bench in the less populated lobby. Once again, you try to look around for some kind of conversation starter to just hit you in the face. 

“I haven’t seen you at an art exhibition since… middle school, huh?” 

“Yeah, it’s been… Wait, you’ve seen me at them?!” You immediately start regretting all of your creepy methods of watching Kazunari during middle school. He probably thought you were extremely creepy back then. You feel your face heat up with cringy embarrassment.

He chuckles a little. “Yeah. Well, not until the second year of middle school.” Kazunari leans back a little, looking up at the ceiling. “I honestly didn’t like middle school that much back then, so it really just feels like a blur. Like, do you remember how much of a nerd I was?” 

You nod. “But your grades were always the best, so I’m sure it wasn’t all bad.”

“Maybe not, but I didn’t really make any memories that made me think ‘Wow! Middle school was so much fun!’ The only good times I really remember having was when I was doing art or getting good grades.”

You’re not sure how to answer him and look at him with a sad look. “...Oh.”

But instead of looking upset, he turned back to you with a little smile. “But did you know? The art teacher back then always told me when you’d come to see all the exhibitions or art club events I was in. I remembered you from our first year culture festival, so I started keeping an eye out for you in our second and third year. I remember seeing you at any event I participated in, and always going to see my work first.” He smiles softly at the old memories and how he felt whenever he saw your reaction to your works.

He knew about you? But you were almost certain that he didn’t want anything to do with his classmates with how he pushed other things away to prioritize his studies. 

“I bet it came off as creepy, huh? To see some random person in your grade just coming to see your work, but not even talk to you.” You shiver at the memory of people whispering about you whenever you looked at Kazunari through the door window.  

He shakes his head, bringing one knee up to his chest. “To be fair, I wasn’t the most friendly student out there. I can’t blame you for not talking to me. The art teacher always told me to talk to you, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Like, I didn’t even try to give you another option to keep in touch when you asked.”

“Oh, gosh. You remember that, too?!” You bury your face in your hands to avoid any more embarrassment. “What I wouldn’t do to erase that from my brain…”

He laughs at how you’re red up to your ears. “I guess that’s an embarrassing middle school memory? I’m sure it didn’t seem that way back then, but I was actually really happy. I just didn’t know how to express it right.” 

“You’re damn right you didn’t.” You push his side with a big pout on your face, making him put his leg down to keep himself from tumbling. “My friends hyped me up for weeks to talk to you! Do you know how awkward it was to tell them that you said no? I got rejected by the class nerd, Kazunari Miyoshi-kun, you know!” 

“I-I’m sorry, I mean it!” He gave your shoulder a reassuring pat. “That’s why in high school, after making my high school debut, I was hoping to give you a better answer and try again. So, I was really hoping to see you at the next high school art exhibition. But… you weren’t there. Or at any of the other ones after that.” Kazunari clearly looks sad at the memory of not finding you after middle school.

You twiddle your thumbs in your lap. “Yeah. I was busy with studying and… I didn’t know if you were still doing art, so I couldn’t find a reason to go. But you could’ve just followed me on Instablam or something. Or do you still not have social media?”

He shakes his head. “No, I do now. It’s just that… I wanted to have a proper conversation with you before following you on social media or something.” His cheeks are noticeably pink and he turned his head away from you so you couldn’t see. “IDK. I guess… since you tried to have a conversation with me first, it felt right to talk to you in person first to return the favor. I-I’d rather meet you face-to-face before I see you on a screen.”

If you could get any redder in the face, you did the moment things started sinking in. He actually wanted to see you at high school art events and actively looked for you at them. Hell, he actually noticed you at the events in middle school! You had thought that he didn’t care about you, but he was secretly looking at you just like how you were secretly looking at him. 

“Well,” you start after a long pause. Your heart was beating like crazy. “We’re having a face-to-face conversation now, aren’t we?” You chuckle. “And it’s definitely longer than the last one we had.”

He laughs with you. “Definitely.” Kazunari leans back on the bench with relief, smiling at you. “And, look. I didn’t reject you, either.” 

You can’t help but smile at how you’re finally talking to your middle school crush and that the conversation isn’t crashing and burning. And you sense the idea that Kazunari feels the same, too.

“Guess that leaves one more thing to do.” He stood up from the bench.

“Oh, yeah!” You grab your phone from your back pocket and open Instablam. “What’s your user-”

“There’s a great cafe down the street where we can share usernames and stuff… and maybe chat irl some more if you want.” He stretches out his hand with a charming wink.

You smile with a blush on your cheeks and take his hand, excited to see what kind of things you’d talk about. And how things would go from here.

#kazunari miyoshi x reader #a3 fanfic #a3 x reader #a3 imagines #what do i even tag this #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! imagines #a3! x reader

[sevensoulmates]

Thoughts on the stuff Tim minear tweeted about Buddie today? Do you still think Buddie has a chance of being canon

I'm surprised Tim was being so responsive in the first place honestly. I know he answers questions occasionally but I think this is the first time he's expressed annoyance with the fans? idk. Anyway, he was talking about how engaging with hostile and rude fans on Twitter is counterproductive, which is true. It's a fact every public figure (and regular person) on the internet has to learn. I think this is his (and Oliver Stark's) first time having to deal with a large active fan base online for a show. Tim's worked on a lot of stuff in the past but none have been during the time where fan engagement on Twitter was a (big) thing. And I think this is an especially unique situation for them given that a lot of the hype is surrounding a ship. Modern fan culture is very very drawn to and hyperfocused on shipping. Especially if those ships are queer relationships. So to come into this project expecting the level of fan engagement to be more along the lines of what he's used to, and then to have massive waves of people aggresively coming at him over a fictional couple who is not even a couple (yet) is probably extremely jarring. He's also in the position where he's the SHOWRUNNER, he is literally the person who has most of the final say on what happens in the show (as opposed to Oliver Stark who has no control), so when he tweets things people take his word as the ultimate law. Which is why he has to be careful about his fan engagement (and why people impersonating him can have very serious consequences). 

So to very quickly recap what happened. A twitter account (I believe) changed their layout and name to be the exact same as Tim’s and was probably tweeting things as if they were him. Tim did not like the fact that someone was trying to impersonate him (rightfully) and said that he blocked and reported them (also, rightfully). They then apologized and he unblocked. He then said something (jokingly) along the lines that he wouldn’t mind if the impersonator wanted to shoulder the responsibility of receiving/answering all the questions about Buddie (and shouldering the massive amounts of hate he gets for buddie not being a current thing). And people began attacking him for that because they viewed it as him disrespecting their ship. (Why do people expect Oliver and Tim to not misinterpret their “jokes” but when they joke around fans suddenly can’t understand the tone of their jokes? Okay.) Another fan (respectfully) reached out to Tim and said that there are people who would like to respectfully engage with him about Buddie. Tim basically responded by saying he doesn’t think it’s possible to engage with hostile and aggressive fans OR respectful fans online (which makes sense given that it’s very easy to have what you say misinterpreted online) and that (typically) he chooses to ignore rather than engage (which is what most creators and actors do). He also said he doesn’t understand why people think their hostility would make him more inclined to do what they want (he’s right and he should say it just as other people have been saying for years and years (the spn fans on here are exhausted)). 

I think this is what most people latched onto as “oh no he’s never gonna make Buddie happen now”. But I think these people are (once again) choosing to read only what they want to read into it. He follows it up by saying he “doesn’t want have it seem like his knee-jerk reaction to rude fans online is influencing him in the other way (ie. NOT DOING BUDDIE) either”. It’s basically the exact same argument I made in this post that in this day and age of easily accessing creatives in historically fan-removed spaces, creators are encouraged to stay away from active engagement online and have dug in more to the concept of never letting the fans influence where they best feel the story should go. 

I don’t take what Tim was saying as confirmation he’s not going to go through with Buddie (in due time), because he literally just said that he’s not going to allow fan interactions (positive or negative) to influence what he and his writers choose to do with the story. And he’s not going to be interacting online anymore (once again, fair). It’s a privilege to be able to speak to someone in that far up a position of power over a narrative in the first place and the internet will never ever be a place where people will ever respect other people’s boundaries. It just won’t. This is not unique to this fandom (it’s not unique to fandoms in general) either. This internet is not and will never be a completely safe and respectful place.

So I will reiterate again. Whether Tim and the 911 writers/producers decide to make Buddie a thing or not is purely up to whether they believe it would be beneficial for the characters and the narrative they want to tell and NOT because of fans online.

#buddie #buck x eddie #tim minear #911 fox #fandom and media discourse

[astyle-alex]

Common Sense Meets the Autism Spectrum:

| a Parental Aide for ALL |

Last month was Autism Awareness Month, and in honor of that I've whipped up a little Parental Aide to help all grown-ups understand neuro-divergence a tiny bit better. I meant to post it here during the last week of April, but I forgot because of the craziness with Finals... But since Autism and neurodivergence doesn’t just magically go away at the end of April, here’s a little skim of it now:

I've recently been chatting with  a new consultation client / parent whose child has been recently diagnosed with Autism, and it got me thinking about the unfortunate nonsense surrounding the entire societal black hole of neuro-atypical / neuro-divergent presentations, especially in 'unusual' cases.

The first thing that needs to be said is IT'S A SPECTRUM, and it's honestly a comprehensive population spectrum, which means that EVERYONE IS ON IT.

Yes, say it with me: Everyone is on the Autism Spectrum.

From being perfectly, generically neuro-typical humans to rage-murder psychopaths to non-verbal, high-physical autistic kids to sociopathic con-artists. It's a SPECTRUM.

Accepting that is the first part of understanding it. And it's sometimes helpful to know in order for parents still in diagnosis shock to have something that reconnects them to their child.  If you've recently received  a diagnosis and you've dissociated at all, or know someone who is in that situation, knowing that the parents and the child involved are both still on the same spectrum, can help.

(It's a sense of cohesion and sameness that parents dream up for offspring, and can be problematic if over-done, which is why parents sometimes force their hobbies / goals onto children or react poorly to LGBTQ+ explorations / self-discoveries, both of which are fodder for plenty of other posts).

Once the spectrum is accepted, we can move on to understanding it better, and to diagnosing attributes of it that are affecting  our lives.  Knowing these attributes can help us navigate them, even in a capacity where the effect of them is not so severe that we call it a neurodivergence.

There's a stigma with mental illness, and autism is a trigger word regarding that, but it shouldn't be. We don't (as much, any more, at least) shame people who don't have clinical anxiety, but still exhibit crowd skittishness or phone distress or choice paralysis. And, honestly, mild autism frequently presents as anxiety, in our current popular understanding, as it's often limited to one or two aspects of life that provoke dramatic aversion responses where as actual, general anxiety is usually a more evenly distributed with lower-key hesitance / avoidance.  Mild autism also presents as ADD / ADHD (and in my opinion the ADD / ADHD diagnosis tools are essentially boiling things down to 'not a psychopath but probably autistic, but not like the autism in in the popular imagination').

We accommodate the small symptoms of both autism and anxiety, adjust what we can and power through what we can't.

That adjustment is a lot easier when we know the triggers for the distress.

Now, the scaling systems I'm about to share are not professional, not part of the DSM, and not a tool of formal diagnosis. Consult a licensed professional before taking any big steps, but take a look at these scaling systems to help start a conversation (even if it's only with yourself). I might have another post on adjustment strategies, because these don't really address the links between presents-as-anxiety and autism, but for now, we're just gonna look at how to start asking questions and how to wrap your brain around the biggest bit of the autism concept.

Again, none of this is a diagnosis or a practical guide on how to cope, but it is helpful to be generally informed enough to start recognizing issues / asking questions about what else might be affected by a given  place on a scale.

So, Autism is a spectrum, right?

Well, technically, it's multiple spectrums.

There are several sub-spectrums that layer over each other.

The crux of it, the most basic version specific to autism, is this:

Understands Emotion  --  vs  --  Does NOT Understand Emotion.

Now there are varied layers of that, such as  'displayed' emotion (like in facial expressions), or 'tonal' emotion (like voice tones), or even  'conceptual' emotion (as in the basic cause / nature of emotionality).

Plenty of kids understand Tonal Emotion (hearing and recognizing the difference between Mum is angry and Mum is happy), but not Conceptual (this is called being young, and usually gets grown out of as kids actually experience {and label} more emotions, the process starts at age 3 or 4, but honestly continues for most of life). Or kids may be able to hear tonal changes and interpret them accurately, but they don't read faces well (this is either a significant indicator of some sort of disconnect or, can indicate that the facial expressions they have seen shift do not shift in a way that is consistent with tonal changes {like if a parent is angry and tries to hide it with a smile}.). Some kids can track the changes in tone and expression but can connect them to a concept (such as 'fear' which doesn't develop as a concept to children until about age 5~7, even in horror-story situations, like children in warzones, only get a really nuanced concept fear a year or two earlier).

The second BIG scale to assess things on is intro- or outro-spective, and it's a 2-for1:

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OWN emotions  

--  vs  --

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OTHERS' emotions

AND misunderstands or understands the CAUSES of emotions in self / others, and why those causes and interpretations may be different for various individuals (which requires understanding the concept of there even being varied individuals, a process that ).

This is the line between "I like it, so others DO" vs  "I like it, so others MIGHT", that is difficult for young children. Having a distinct sense of a separate self is actually a complicated psychology process, and it takes over a year for most infants to even recognize that they have a reflection. If understanding the self/others division stays extremely difficult passed age 7-ish, we maybe should look more closely. But at the same time, it's rarely before that 5~7 range when kids begin to understand that shopping for a birthday present for a friend involves thinking about what the friend would like, and not what the kid themselves like.

And there's still gonna be moments of grown-up fan-rage at why don't people ship my ship?,  but all we might wanna do is limit time on Reddit or Tumblr when in anxiety mode.

The final BIG spectrum used in understanding these autism specific neuro-disconnects is one that revolves around concern for the disconnect:

Does not fully understand all aspects of Emotion and CARES that they don't.

--  vs  --

Does not understand and does NOT CARE.

This disconnect leads to Performative Emotion, which means acting the part of emotional responses without a full understanding of all aspects of them. Sometimes this is good, as in exhibiting quiet displeasure even though I think this warrants screaming because, I don't wholly understand what I or others feel, but I do understand the appropriate  / expected response. It can also be very bad, as in someone who understands the emotional response to pretend to have when a pet dies and is aware that doing so can cover that the pet was killed intentionally by said someone.

The last relevant spectrum isn't one that most people find critical, but I think it's important to delineate this one from the caring aspect. The previous note is specifically about caring in regards to the subjects understanding of emotion--and exclusively their understanding of emotion.

It is not a measure of concern for other respects of life, that spectrum is:

Sympathy   --   vs   --   Empathy

Now, defining terms is important here.

- Sympathy = care for how others feel

- Empathy = understanding / comprehension of how others feel

Someone who self-refers as an 'Empath' is actually expressing a high sympathy response, as in, I understand your pain so well, I feel it myself. What they mean to say, is that they understand the feeling and its causes well, and they care so much that they cause themselves to experience it.

This is also the line between Sociopaths and Psychopaths, as most people know it. The truth is a lot more nuanced, but basically, a Sociopath often lacks Sympathy, but has Empathy, where a Psychopath most often lacks both.

A Sociopath understands that they have a disconnect, cares that they do, and hides it by performing the emotive responses they are aware are appropriate (for the most part, occasionally making some exceptions due to exhaustion with the performance, or a lack of genuine care allowing for selective exploitation--making them great sales people / CEO's / business people / lawyers / writers / con-artists / Sherlockian private detectives etc).

A Psychopath either doesn't understand they have a disconnect, doesn't care that they do, or both. They rarely perform emotions and therefore often draw people in who feel trapped and in need of counter culture. They make great cult leaders, but not much else (occasionally business people, but some of them are cult leaders by a pseudonym). They truly CANNOT conform, and that can be seductive / freeing to others, but they also cannot conceive of anyone who decides to follow them ever changing their mind or not experiencing exactly the same  emotions / emotive responses to stimuli as they do.

BOTH are considered extreme presentations of their respective trait.

People with both very high and very low sympathy get exhausted around others.

Because experience other's emotions or pretending to care about others' emotions is HARD. It's work and it's exhausting on both ends.

People with both very high and very low empathy get anxious in not being around others for prolonged periods.

High-Em usually worries over current states (ie, what if something happened to them or what if they hate me now), whereas Low-Em usually worries over reunions (did I forget something someone else would've remembered, birthday, holiday, or that I was gonna bring you something we discussed).

And, as always, Presentations vary. HUGELY.

But sometimes, being told you're looking at an abstract a picture  of a dog, helps you spot the dog in the ink squiggles.

'Normal' isn't a fixed point, it's a range within every single subject presenting mild deviations that come together to form an average in a single person, and are then averaged again across populations.

Such data can always be understood better. And better understandings allow better accommodations to be made.  

Therefore, a given person's place on any part of any one of these spectrums needs to be assessed and reassessed constantly.

Also, if you're interested in learning more / supporting Autism Advocacy, check out a few more resources, but for the love of god DO NOT give money to Autism Speaks. Take a looks at THIS and do some research of your own! ^_^

Again, this is just a vague baseline, and it doesn't address symptoms like Face Blindness (in ability to recognize people by faces) or stimming (self-stimulation or emotive overwhelm release) or even environmental sensitivity (extreme dislike / like of certain noises, colors, light levels / sources, tactile sensations). Even so, it might be informative enough to start getting a conversation started and it'll be helpful for me to refer back to this one while making other Spectrum related posts.

^_~

For more on what I’m getting up to (and for more timely updates), check me out on Patreon!

#autism #autistic spectrum #neurodivergencies #spectrum #adhd #adhd problems #adhd culture

[jkblogg4thaclass]

THE GREAT TALE

When you explore space for a living you have to expect certain things. Pirates, black holes, the occasional ion storm. Mikel felt that she was fairly well versed in what to expect from exploring the Deep, but yet, she somehow had completely overlooked the fact that they might run into un-contacted species.

Which meant she was completely unprepared and had no plan of action for when she found herself staring down the length of a stone spear at a group of bipedal mammals who were all baring their teeth and making loud, sharp sounds in their throat.

The biggest mammal, a 5 foot tall being with pink feathers braided into their mane, stepped forward with their prehensile paws held out by their face and made two short barks.

Mikel flattened her wings nervously at the dominance display, trying to make herself smaller. Michael, however, Michael tilted his head curiously, then put his hands by his face and somehow forced his throat to make the alien sounds.

The mammal twitched their tail for a moment before tilting their head and slowly, standing on one leg.

Michael slowly stood on one leg as well.

“What are you doing?” Mikel was still beak to tip to a stone spear and she did not think now was the time for an exercise of Mirroring.

Michael mimicked the hop the alien made and bared his teeth. “I making friends.”

The decorated being made a series of barks and yips and the group of natives backed away where they conferred quietly among themselves.

Michael immediately dropped to his knees and began rummaging through his pack. Mikel clucked nervously. “We should run while they are distracted. I do not think they are friendly.”

“Nah, just nervous. I mean, wouldn’t you be if two things you never see before fall out the sky and one was twice size?”

Mikel glared flatly at her giant of a friend. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

Michael laughed. “I need shiny or tasty. Do they look meat eater to you?”

She observed the aliens closely. They had most of the facial markers of herbivores. “Plant eating, I’d guess.”

“Right. Uh. Fruit…. BuyBuy fruit?”

“Non toxic to most mammalian species known.”

The natives seemed to have come to some sort of agreement and approached again, this time with the spears ready, but not pointed directly at them. An improvement, Mikel thought, but not so much that she wouldn’t rather be back on their ship.

The largest one stood forward again and hit their chest with an open palm and made a yip/chirp.

Michael slowly stood up and repeated the gesture,”Michael.” He nudged Mikel and she quickly followed along, trying to communicate her name across a species and language barrier.

Familiar.

The mammal took a small bundle from their pack mate and offered it to Michael, who accepted it with a head duck and in turn offered the being a packet of buybuy. They sniffed it curiously and turned it over in their hands before looking up at Michael and making a soft chirp. Michael slowly reached out and opened the biodegradable packaging and removed one of the sweet fruits. He held it up so the natives could see what it was before popping it into his mouth and chewing. The native’s tail perked up and they ate a buybuy. They chirped and passed the package around to their pack so each one could taste, all of them reacting with waving tails and quick yips.

Michael took the time to examine the item the aliens had offered to him and held it out to Mikel. “I think it’s a neck hair pretty. One of the big’s.”

“A token of respect?”

“Maybe. I dunno, I’m fly blind on whole ass culture.”

Suddenly an ear piercing wail echoed through the tall grasses and the entire pack of mammals went rigid. The biggest one threw their head back and howled and charged towards a plume of smoke forming, their pack following with their spears at the ready.

“I think-” Mikel started to suggest this was an opportune moment to retreat to the ship only to find that Michael had taken off after the mammals, his long legs eating up the ground at a molt inducing rate. She clucked irritably and spread her wings to fly after them. Yes. Let’s head directly towards what is most likely danger.

Humans.

She barely managed to keep up with her friend and the natives were left far behind, their short limbs unable to keep up as Michael raced for the smoke. It wasn’t long before they burst onto the scene of a mobile village in panicked chaos. Some natives were clutching younglings and trying to flee while others were trying to fight or distract a large quadrupedal beast that was charging and tossing unlucky beings with it’s massive horns.

Mikel grabbed a howling youngling in her hind claws and struggled to fly it away from the enraged beast. They were way too heavy for more than a quick and frantic flap hop, but it removed them from the beast’s line of sight. She released it into the frightened paws of a grown native and searched for Michael. When she saw him her heart felt like it had frozen in her chest. He was standing in the middle of the village clearing, waiting with his feet planted firmly on the ground as the beast charged directly at him.

She screeched and tried to propel herself towards him with her tired wings, but she was too late.

The beast reached Michael and… he grabbed it’s horns and twisted them so that it’s head turned back towards it’s hairy back and it fell to the ground in a cloud of dust. The human somehow rode it’s arrested momentum down so that he had one knee pressing the creatures neck into the ground while he held the head twisted back by it’s horns.

The pink decorated mammal had finally managed to catch up with them and took in the scene with what even Mikel could tell was awe, before they rushed forward and cut the creatures throat with a knife, quickly ending it’s struggles.

Michael stood up slowly and wiped some blood off of his face. “Fuck. I never want do that again.”

The aliens crowded around him, barking and milling as they all gestured wildly at the carnage of the village, Michael himself, and the dead beast. Mikel suddenly felt one of the beings grab her arm and drag her towards the commotion. They barked loudly and held up her arm as the youngling she had grabbed chirped by their legs.

Mikel was exhausted. Every muscle ached so much that her wings were dragging the ground behind her. They had been on the move all day exploring, then the race to the village on still weak wings, and then trying to carry something almost as heavy as she was had left her completely drained. She swayed on her claws as a wave of dizziness threatened to knock her over. In an instant Michael was by her side and lifting her up. The villagers barked in distress and scurried about and before Mikel knew it, she was resting on a pile of furs as Michael helped her sip some water.

“Hey, you alright?” The skin between his eyebrows was furrowed in concern.

“Tired.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck. I forgot about you tired limit. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have run off like that.”

Mikel shrugged an aching shoulder. “You saved them. Can’t complain.” And honestly, she couldn’t. They shouldn’t be here, they should have left as soon as they saw the planet was inhabited, but yet… She felt happy that they could save this tiny village from a charging…

“When I feel better I am going to be having words with you about that stupid ass action you performed.”

“Whatever gave you the idea that you could just grab an animal that size and- and wrestle it!”

Michael smiled sheepishly. “It’s only the size of young cow… I’ve done bigger.”

Mikel gaped at him as her brain tried to reconcile the size of that beast with the fact that it was apparently only as big as a juvenile from a species the humans kept around their homes and even actively farmed.

She was too tired for this shit.

A bloody looking alien villager appeared and bowed as they presented the cut off horns from the beast to the pair.

Too. Tired.

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Queers in Space (DS9 Edition) Part 1 (Seasons 1-midway season 5)

Continuation to Queers in Space (TNG)

Benjamin Sisko: Similar to Picard's Captain-Gender, Sisko is Dad (some characters, like Julian, might occasionally look at him and think Daddy, mainly when he's being Righteous). He’s very caught up in caring about everything and is just happy he’s got such a large family (although he wishes there were more babies he could dote on). What he otherwise really loves is getting pegged by beautiful women.

Kasidy Yates: Speaking of women who peg...  She uses she/her pronouns and “woman” but her relationship to gender is like... not relevant. Not needed. Whatever. Call me whatever and I'll respond to it. And she's pan. She's been in space for long enough to have realised that attraction is attraction. Chaotic bench, I love her.

Jake Sisko: he's a burgeoning bisexual, Byron is his literary inspiration and he's the only man on DS9 who's pretty consistently half-well-dressed (you cannot change my mind about this). He and Nog have tested kissing. Mayhaps they may try out more in future.

Kira Nerys: Her lesbianism was so powerful that she was barely allowed to interact with other women (mirror!Kira may have been a bad bisexual trope, but she was also far closer to the truth). Not just a lesbian, but stompin' about in her butch boots and padded shoulders for the first half of the series, damn! All those guys she keeps dating are her beards.

Jadzia Dax: Omnisexual, poly, genderqueer babe - the poly part is why I cannot fully ship her with Worf, even though I love that she’s with a partner she can spar with (in ahem multiple ways). The whole point of trill is to experience life to the fullest and Jadzia takes that brief very seriously (that is canon!). At heart she's also very romantic. The fact that she and Nerys don't seem to have any storylines together is homophobia.

Julian Bashir: Trans, queer, dork. He canonically comes aboard knowing nothing about himself or the universe, he's just here to learn and have a good time and be an idealistic hero and accidentally fall in love with both his best friend and a lizard spyman and we're here cheering that wonderful foot-fetishist on like proud parents (Benjamin has literally sat him down to give him his blessing, but also express his confusion about his tastes).

Elim Garak: Blessed by the mouth of Andy Robinson himself, omnisexual and into Julian and down to clown and generally just a chaotic energy of fun and murder and sex, in whatever order. I read a thing about Cardassians choosing gender through specific make-up and the blue mark on the forehead, and they're all intersex and honestly Yes This! Garak opted out. He dresses like the genderqueer slut icon he is.

Miles O'Brien: I could go 50 different places with him. At first I wrote him off as a straight cis guy, but then as DS9 went on I became less sure... for one, there's Julian and the poly marriage with Keiko and Nerys. For two... it'd be fun if he were gendershrug. “I'm an engineer, I haven't got time to think about that” - does this open up the possibility that in the future all humans choose their own gender? I mean, the federation is supposed to be a form of minor utopia, so yes, and Miles just never got around to it and never will.

Keiko O'Brien: My poly, pan queen. I didn't see her and Nerys coming at aaaall and may I just say I am thrilled. It's what she deserves. She has two hands and a large heart (and a large bed too). She's a lady, but by now I've entirely decided that cis just doesn't exist at that point in the future. Gender is A Choice and she liked the sound of woman and like with everything else she liked the sound of, she grabbed it with both hands and went “mine” (she did that with Miles and Nerys as well).

Worf (Part 2): Ds9 is when Worf got more interesting to me. He was fine on TNG, but here, my word. Both the worst and the best. Okay, yes, he's very monogamous, I will relent. But also he's got a much bigger bi energy going for him, which I celebrate. On that note, if Garak isn't his type, what kinda person is? I'm assuming he's just not into Cardassians as a rule, because of their culture-biases. He likes a partner who'll punch him in the face before propositioning with all their cards on the table. What he needs is to get pegged.

Odo: Ace and aro. He’s full of love. In order to mimic “solids” he tries to make sense of his emotions from their perspectives and so comes to the conclusion that he definitely isn’t allowed to love Quark and definitely ought to be in romantic love with Nerys, but once he understands himself better, he doesn’t feel such a need to limit himself. He has unlimited hands you guys!!!! (sometimes he has no hands, but that doesn’t limit him either). He’s tried out various body shapes, and he likes the sound of “man.” He can’t place his finger on why, and honestly he doesn’t have to. It’s his identity. Hope he realises how loved he is.

Quark: He thought he was your average straight man on the station, but ds9 has a way of bringing out your true colours and it turns out he’s in love with an occasional bucket of goo. He expresses this by snarking at aforementioned goo-man. This isn’t even me, this is just... canon facts. Ferengi have strong binary genders. Quark is a man, but he’s later not-so-secretly sympathetic towards people who veer away from binary gender, such as...

Rom: Is “not having the lobes for business” code for being trans-femme? Kinda feeling it is. In a way it’s harder to be trans-masc, simply because afab people in Ferengi culture have a much harder time escaping the home planet in order to explore themselves, and Rom will eventually launch a campaign for equality for trans Ferengi (what is “trans” in Ferengi?) Also he’s more ace than he realises. He has urges (that one episode... definitely proved that), but they’re not directed at anyone. He likes being loved. Surprisingly sex doesn’t play as big a role in that as he might’ve thought it would.

Nog: "Doesn’t have the lobes for business” but is kinda chill about gender. Probably due to having grown up amongst other humanoids. Especially come starfleet academy he fully embraces gender and sexuality definitions as being “eh” to him. It’s not his interest, so he doesn’t define it. That being said, he’s also somewhere along the bi/pan spectrum.

Leeta: Pan-ace. She likes a certain amount of attention, and she has strong sensual attraction and she doesn’t mind sex, but as long as she’s loving and loved, she’s happy. After dumping Julian (like they both deserve), she gets a bunch of sugar-parents, who pay her school for her. It’s like hunger games out there, with how every one of them tries to impress her the most. She likes the attention and she loves studying, she can do it all. Be a bombshell and a smart cookie.

Gul Dukat: His gender and sexuality are “idiot clown-man.”

#ds9 #benjamin sisko #kira nerys #julian bashir #jadzia dax #elim garak #jake sisko #kasidy yates #miles o'brien #keiko o'brien #quark #odo #nog #gul dukat #worf #I haven't watched all of it but I couldn't wait #writing