#honestly she wonders why I’M weird like my sister in christ YOU are also weird

[duchezss]

Buckle in folks cause I’m about to put more effort into this than an english assignment Presenting Why Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous is actually an amazing show

Now what defines the term amazing you might ask? I’m talking about a show that goes above and beyond in plot, characters, storytelling, and overall experience. Nowadays most adult shows don’t meet my standards much less a kids show so if that gives you an idea how good this show is stop right now and go watch it if you haven’t. Spoilers ahead ofc but as an aspiring film major I will be diving into just about everything I love and this is gonna get long. 

For your convince I will start with a simple bullet point list and then extend on them below, so if you only wanna see the big points and not my thoughts behind them this first parts for you. 

Black mc 

Diverse main cast (4/6 are poc) 

Actual plot lines and a lot of suspense 

Very dark for a kids show 

Complex characters that develop 

Fits in with the main Jurassic World series beautifully 

Body language and facial expressions are top tier 

Have genuine relationships (platonically and/or romantically) between all of the main 6

Phenomenal camera angles and use of special effects 

Great with details 

Amazing VA’s 

Continuity 

So the nose dives begins 

Black mc: To some people this might not matter that much but holy cow this is so important and such a big step. The people complaining are just weird middle aged white people, like do you know how big of an impact a black mc can have on young black children. It’s so important and it makes them feel happy because someone actually looks like them. Clear evidence of this was Into The Spider Verse (which is also an amazing movie oml). Come to think of it the only black mc I think I’ve ever seen in an animated kids show is probably Static Shock (also an amazing show ily). Somehow representation has got swept under the rug in this day and age which is ironic really, but this show does an amazing job with tackling that and I love it. 

Diverse main cast: I can’t think of any recent kids movies/tv shows, live action or animated, that have this much representation. In animation is also very easy for the show runners to make a character poc and then have a white VA, but jwcc is quite the opposite. Honestly the characters look so much like their VA’s that something tells me the animation team based the characters off them and not the other way around. Not only that but their names actually match with their ethnicities. So for reference or just anyone that doesn’t know, Ben and Brooklynn are white, Sammy is hispanic, Darius is black, Kenji is asian, and Yazmina is middle eastern. Sammy’s last name is Gutierrez, Yazmina’s is Fadoula, Kenji’s is Kon and Darius’s Bowman. Gutierrez is a common last name in Mexico and Latin America in general. Fadoula is found throughout upper Africa and the Middle East, Kon is rare name of Japense origin, and Bowman is a common last name among black folks in the US. So not only do they have a poc cast, voiced by poc people, but all the characters have realistic names. Not to mention they are very good on skin tone in the show, personally I think Yaz should’ve been just a bit darker but hey I’ll take it and run. 

Actual plot lines: This seem like stating the obvious but work with me here. Most kids and even adult shows have a very episodic format, there’s nothing wrong with that per say but having a plot and conflict build up and having little things matter is much more satisfying in my opinion. Most kids shows have some conflict but its very PG which is also fine that’s what it’s meant for. But every once in a while you’ll find a show that had plot wise beyond it’s years and those are the golden ones. Easily and rightfully the most famous is Avatar the Last Airbender or ATLA. This show to this day is still one my favorites and truly nothing will ever top it, but in my years of watching kids shows after it jwcc might just be second. We can argue all day about what’s the best and it’s truly a matter of opinion, but to me atla and jwcc just achieve such a level of complexity that 99% of kids and even adult shows don’t reach. 

Very dark: While this might not be exactly the best for kids it’s great for an olderish audience. Honestly it having a much darker element makes the show enjoyable for all ages while still keeping it chill enough so that children may watch. But come to think of it it’s hard not to make a show about dinosaurs dark, the show runners do a wonderful job at keeping it intense and exciting, but still kid friendly, and to me thats incredibly impressive. Not to mention since the show isn’t afraid to go dark they can do more (such as ben’s “death”, the hunters etc) which makes it go from good to great. Reminds me a lot of atla and I know I keep mentioning atla but know that is the biggest compliment ever. atla is easily the best animated/kids show of all time so the fact that a bring it up so much is huge. There have been shows in the past that have tried to replicate what atla (such as voltron..) and it just hasn’t worked. I think this show nails the boundary between too dark and not dark enough. 

Complex characters: Oh yes. If there’s one thing I love more than an ensemble cast it’s a cast that grows and develops as the series progresses. Sure the main 6 might start off as typical character tropes (Darius the super fan, Yaz the loner, Sammy the extrovert, Ben the underdog, Kenji the arrogant, and Brooklynn the influencer.) but they become so much more than that. I’d say at least half of them are completely different people between the 1st episode and the latest one. An easy example being Ben and Kenji. Ben started off as a naive, timid, and terrified person and has become confident, independent, and brave. Kenji started off as arrogant, selfish, and apathetic person and became compassionate, driven, and concerned. All of them have had some sort of change even if it’s not super dramatic and that’s important. It makes the storytelling better because they grow as they go. 

Fits in with JP/JW beautifully: In terms of shows connecting to movies this has gotta be some clone wars level s-tier stuff. Personally I have never watched clone wars but my sister has and she always raves about how well this show connects to the movies, and from what I’ve seen I completely agree. A youtube channel by the name of Silverscreen Edits actually put together the scenes from every time they overlap, mainly in S1 but also the cold open from Fallen Kingdom. I’d advise you to watch it because it’s just incredible. The show runners nail ever detail of these scenes and it truly feels like you’re watching the same scene from a different perspective. The set up is beautiful and I cannot rave enough about how amazing it is, my favorite easily being the dome scene because of all the small details. Not to mention this show actually connect JW and FK because it shows us that the cold open was 6 months later while the rest was 3 years later. Quite honestly I had no idea these two scenes were that far apart from each other, I thought the opening was from a years or two later not 6 months, so this show really connected the dots between these two movies and made them flow together much nicer. And I love all the countless references too old and new JP/JW movies. Overall this show is a great addition to the franchise. 

Body language and facial expressions: You might be thinking to yourself, hmph that is a really odd point to make, let me tell you it’s not and I’ll explain why. When analyzing films I usually tend to stick to live action because one of my favorite parts of films is how characters react to things, and we animation we really don’t get that. Most of the time even if shows get this complex they won’t use both the way jwcc. What impressed me so much was how amazing they are at this, the animation team seriously needs more praise. Jwcc is great at facial expressions which I will say other animated shows know how to do as well, but they are also so amazing at body language which is rare rare when it comes to animation. It’s because it’s so hard and often times it just doesn’t fit, but they do an amazing job with this and it makes the characters feel so life-like. When a character is sad or closed off their shoulders hunch, when they feel scared they stiffen up and cover their ears (which is another detail I love so much, I never realized till this show that hardly anyone ever covers their ears and it makes a lot of sense because these dinos are very loud) and when they feel hopeless their shoulder sag and their head drops, do you see what I mean? You can quite literally tell what these kids are feeling and thinking without them saying anything that is so impressive and it makes the show that much better. It makes it easy to analyze and if it wasn’t clear around I love to do so. 

Genuine relationships between all of main cast: I will not budge at this point at all, gonna say it right now if you disagree argue with the wall. I might have some bias on this but one, if not my favorite, part of any media is an ensemble cast. It’s something I actively seek out, and when I say ensemble cast I don’t mean a trio, I mean a full cast, my favorite being 6 but 4 or 5 will do. So when I found out this show had 6 main characters I was immediately interested. Not only because I love ensemble casts but I also wanted to see how they handled it. Ensemble cast are so rare because they are extremely hard to do and do well. I will even criticize atla on this. At one point they had 6 main characters and they never elaborated on more than a handful of the duos and just focused on the group as whole. But this is typical and easiest to do without giving up individual character development so I get that. But jesus christ jwcc does a phenomenal job with this, and I mean phenomenal. Out of the 15 different duos you can get between 6 characters then have elaborated on 11 of them, and it could easily be more this is just from memory. I might make a post elaborating on this specifically because it’s just amazing. This time they take to flesh out these relationships truly makes them feel like a unit and a family, instead of just a group of people all working towards the same goal. This is easily the most impressive and rewarding of any of the points on this list in my opinion. (coming from #1 squad lover right here)

Camera angles and special effects: This shows downfall for some was that it had strange animation, honestly it never bothered me and since I’ve watched dragon prince and rwby, it’s clear that bad animation never stops me from watching a show. But I think people just won’t give it a chance, because when you do you’ll see it’s actually very good. To me the coolest part of the animation is the dinos. They look incredible and so so similar to the cgi used in JW. That’s hard to do so more claps for the animation team I love y’all. They also have to work around the PG side of this show and do a great job at implying what happens but never actually showing what happens. This is all angles, not to mention they do a great job at showcasing the park and the scenery so that magic from the movies really translates to the show. Finally my favorite scene of the show from an avid slow mo lover has got to me when Ben falls of the monorail (idk why it is cause he’s literally my fav and I was so upset) The scene is just beautiful and the set up before hand makes it that much more heart breaking. The use of slow mo is amazing I literally cannot rave about this scene enough. It builds so much suspense and they used just the right amount, to much and the scene would move to slow, and to little the scene would be to fast. I need more great scenes like this in S4 (idk if I want the angst that comes with it too I’ll get back to you)

Details: To me details, in any show in general, is what makes it go from great to fantastic. An example of this is Harry Potter, something that hooked me into this franchise was how much small details mattered and it’s the same with jwcc. There are so many throw away lines that end up coming back and all us are hitting ourselves for missing it. Such as Ben saying early on he knows where the tracker beam is and when he “dies” and the crew can’t find it it shows how important he was. Those are details I love to see. Or the three dinos, one of which Sammy released, coming back all season. Of course toro as well and he always kept his burns. Not to mention the animation team always kept Ben’s scar in and I think that’s an important detail because he shaped who he is. Keep up the good work animation and writing team because I love what you’re doing with this (also I’m 90% sure the compass is another one of these details I’m calling it rn) 

Amazing VA’s: Honestly VA’s in general do not get enough credit and they really should. But these 6 are pretty amazing let me tell you. If I’m not mistaken Ryan Potter (Kenji’s VA) is the only one with a notable history of voice acting as he played the title character in Big Hero 6. (fun fact I had no idea and when I found this out I quite literally screamed). But the others have also done things as well, most of it being live action though, and voice acting is much different. Honestly I just need to make a post about the various roles they’ve had cause looking into this has been an experience. Anyway all of them do such an incredible job with this ahh. I think the times where you can really tell how different they all are is when they lash out. This happens quite often and honestly it’s expected, I mean they’re 6 teenagers in a stressful environment of course they’ll last out. But all of them have such a different way of doing it, Darius is hopeless, Kenji is nervous, Yaz is emotional, Ben is harsh, Brooklynn is stern, and Sammy is level headed. Usually everyone lashes out the same way so the fact that they’re so different in just one aspect shows you how good they are. Each character is so individual and all of them have different goals and morals which is not only realistic but it makes way for conflict which is always interesting. 

Continuity: Now this could arguable go with details but it’s slightly different so I’m making this a separate point. Continuity to put it simple it basically not have the show be episodic. Honestly that completely what I expected from this show because that how most kids shows are. In this show the plot not only progress each episode but so do the characters and their trauma. Most of the time the plot will progress but anything bad that has happened to the characters will not show and is hardly talked about (COUGH VOLTRON). To me it’s something that has to be addressed because if the characters don’t grow what was the point of it. And they’ve shown that characters grow based on the events that happen and I love that. Another thing about continuity is when show runners stick a pin in something and actually go back to it (COUGH RWBY). Jwcc is amazing at this and make a point to bring back just about everything that gets sidelined in the first place. It’s so impressive and make the show that much more enjoyable. There have been countless times where I get so caught up with the pins that shows just leave there and it makes me so mad, but jwcc is good at for the most part because of course some things will slip through. But they always get back to the important things. 

The conclusion: Overall this show is phenomenal and if my essay hasn’t convinced you I’m not sure what will. The show is amazing at storytelling and plot and the lovable main cast makes it that much better. It is so much better than a good chunk of kids shows and honestly part of me wishes it was rated PG-13 cause I really wanna see that. But they do an amazing job and keep it kid friendly enough while still discussing mature topics. It’s the next atla to me and something that many kids shows now days try to be and fail. It’s impressive and complex and truly one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. Film major mara out, and if you actually read all of this ily mwah. 

#jwcc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world #jurassic park #jesus why did I write so much lmao #I have issues I spend more than 2 hours on this.. #hyperfixations go hard ig

[black-rose-writings]

I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #ruin and rising #book review #alina starkov #darkling #darklina

[mindofharry]

in which you and grayson find yourself in the most absurd situation.

set in the 1800s, based on bridgerton.

a little bit of everything!! enjoy - feedback welcome as always! <3

“so, let me get this right, your grace”

“it’s grayson” he interrupted clearing his throat as you both promenaded along the river, your mama and his aunt following behind.

“you want us to pretend to court? may i speak freely, grayson” you asked looking up, grayson rolled his and nodded, loaning you were going to speak to him whatever way you wanted with or without his permission.

“we have nothing in common. and i do not like your manners and the way you treat me and others around you” you rambled looking around at the people, also promenading and looking for potiental suitors.

You also noticed how the men were gazing at you in a way you’ve never seen before. Like you were a prize, the feeling didn’t feel good, it felt as if you were some trophy.

But you guessed that is all what women are to certain men, a trophy they can win and put up high in their house. sometimes you didn’t feel opposed to being someone’s trophy, but with the duke beside you, that feeling never came. All that came was disgust and wanting to cover up your body even more than your mother already made you.

“do forgive me if i’m wrong, but have you the way the suitors have been looking at you, and all we’ve done is look at eachother and smile a few times” grayson said, moving his hand over towards the group of men to prove his point.

“you’re a duke, grayson. I’m not yet prepared enough for that” you say and he nodded, obviously agreeing.

“that’s why courting exists, and i’ve seen how impatient your mama is. It might get her off your back for a little bit. You have a little more time to properly talk with the pointer suitors.” grayson argued, stopping infront of you.

“so this is a rouse then?” you asked placing your un opened umbrella infront of you, leaning your hands on it. Grayson nodded and stepped a little closer, your breathe hitched as you felt his breathe close to your face. “an agreement if you will. you get more time, i don’t have any mama’s trying to wed their daughters to me. It’s a win win.” he said trying to convince you.

“it’s not like we’ll actually get married. tell your mama you’re leaving your options open, or tell her you’re madly in love with me” he teased earning a slap on the arm from you and wide grin. he looked around and smirked.

“so are we in agreement?”

“i think we are”

/

Soon enough people started noticing you and grayson together — more people meaning more potential suitors for you. your drawing room was filled with men and your papa was not one bit happy about it, and suprisingly neither was your mama.

They had both taken a liking to grayson.

You weren’t sure if it was his charm or because of his title, but nevertheless they were set on you and him courting for more than a week. you even overheard your mother talking to the head maid about a wedding sometime in the spring.

A wedding in the spring sounded superb.

A wedding with grayson in the spring sounded traumatic.

“Grayson” you asked both of you sat beside each other, eating a rather delicious piece of cake. Grayson even bought the most expensive one, just for the both of you. That rather impressed you, you admit.

“Y/N” he mocked leaning back in the seat.

“I’d like to know you a little better. I mean, i know your name, your title and that you have a twin brother. That is all, your grace”

“just how i like it to be” grayson replied. Grayson was rather young when he became the duke, his brother didn’t want this life (grayson had to be the bigger person). The stress of being a duke, has made him sour and cold, and not up for anything to do with marriage. If he was ever to marry he’s sure it would be the most awful thing to come to his short life. He doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about, if you love someone, why do you have to go through all of the dramatics, surely just saying it enough?

Grayson didn’t understand the fascination and he’s not sure he ever will.

“Well, what’s your favourite colour?” you asked earning, a loud laugh. you smiled at the sound, it was nice to see him smiling for once. You knew he had it rough, so you could take the coldness and moodiness if this it was came out at some points of the time you guys are ‘courting’.

“It’s green. like forest green. It’s a dark but rather happy green”

“just like you, grayson” you added, grayson raised any brow making you blush “i just met, that you seem rather broody and dark but once you actually sit down and talk you’re a very warm man” you rambled. God, you were just trying to make some sort of conversation and your witty comebacks were not helping you.

“Let’s get you back home, shall we?”

you frowned standing up, you saw the governorness walking slowly behind you both. even though you were very much out in the open, you still had to be chaperoned, a part you hated very much.

“forgive me, your grace. I didn’t mean to be so rude” you say touching his hand ever so lightly. Grayson cleared his throat shaking his head “never mind that. shall we finish the game of 20 questions?” he teased, easing the butterflies in your stomach.

“my brother is called ethan. Smart man. Married last spring. I still don’t understand how i’m the duke, the man is quite smart and orderly. And a sister Cameron, who moved to the country with her family some years back” he said you nodding and listening very carefully.

“I think you’re quite smart, grayson.” you smiled, you reached home a lot quicker than expected. And for some reason, you wished he would ask you out again.

“Hmm. Have a good evening, y/n”

And with that the duke left, only you and your governorness. “i think he’d make a great husband” your governorness, anna, whispered.

“yeah. i do too”

/

You were in the drawing room playing piano when the duke was announced.

“Lady Y/L/N, The duke of jersey”

you turned around to see the duke, your parents bowing and praising every move grayson took. you stood from the piano and met grayson halfway.

you smiled and bowed “your grace” you teased earning a laugh. you looked behind grayson and saw the smiles on your parents face and the nod the both gave you before sitting back down.

“i came here to formally invite you and your family to the ball i’m hosting.” he said his hands becoming weirdly sweaty and his heart beating rapidly awaiting your answer.

you looked magnificent today, you hair was up in braids and your dress was simple but beautiful. The necklace that adorned on your neck was something he wished he bought you himself, it looked rather beautiful on you. Grayson had to remind himself numerous times during the two weeks you have been courting that it’s not real, that this will end soon and you will both go seperate ways. But a part of him wants to just pretend it’s real, he wants you to look at him the way you do without any agreement or rouse.

but of course, that would never happen.

you were both too different, he was a duke for christ sake. It just wouldn’t work out. So he pushed those feelings deep, deep down. And hopefully they’d never reappear, like they are doing right now.

“oh, of course! i’d never say no to a ball!” you squealed, your mother cleared her throat to remind you of your manners.

“forgive me. It would be an honour”

“I was thinking i could buy you a dress? Go to the tailors, pick out anything and i’ll get it for you” he said, grayson insisted on spoiling you. Buying you flowers and now dresses, your mother thought it was sweet, you did too. But it was very unnecessary, you didn’t want him wasting his savings on you.

“Oh! my grace, i couldn’t ask that of you”

“i’m buying and that’s it” he smiled bringing your hand up to his lips, making your breathe hitch and your heart speed up.

“see you there, y/n”

/

The next couple of days were spent preparing for the ball and of course accompanying you in picking a gown. He never actually knew how much went into making and choosing a gown, he’d never speak bad about shopping how, he was exhausted.

“i like you better, grayson” you say browsing the fabrics. Grayson snorted causing some of the people around him to stare.

“and why is that?” he asked leaning against the wall as you picked out a few fabrics. It was honestly quite relaxing seeing you in your element. It made him happy to see you happy.

“you’re more open. you smile” you grinned looking over at him “and i must say you’re manners are magnificent, your grace” she giggled making grayson shake his head. “you’re strange” he mumbled, his heart doing that weird thing again, and this time he doesn’t push those feelings away, he lets them stay. And it feels pretty good.

“how many dances should we have tonight? i think two should suffice” you mumble looking up at your ‘suitor’. You wished it was real, there, you had admitted. you wanted to know what his lips felts like and his felt like without gloves. you wondered what he was like early in the morning and late in the evening. what he had on sundays and did he ever eat too much he was sick? all these questions would be answered if you just admitted your feelings, but no, you knew grayson did not want to marry.

And sadly, you don’t think you’d be an exception.

“Not too worry, my lady. I’ll take these from you. My grace” the lady bowed taking the fabrics from y/n.

“i shall have this complete in no time, i have your measurements and such, so i only need you to try it on again”

You had already tried on the main part of the dress, but you wanted some sparkly fabric to add to it and maybe a bow. It was just last minute (anxiety induced) details, you wanted to add before the ball.

“thank you so much. we’ll be back in an hour”

“i don’t know how you do it” grayson said as you put your arm around his. “well, i like to shop, i like design” you smile “it’s quite fun actually.”

grayson thinks it’s quite fun too.

“I can feel the glare of your governess. how about some miniatures?” grayson asked getting a smile out of you. you nodded “that sounds lovely, grayson”.

/

The ball looks so amazing, it’s not like anything you’ve ever been to before.

There’s chandeliers and lights everywhere and the paintings are the most magnificent things you’ve ever seen, why had grayson been hiding such an extraordinary home from you? You could love in this room, ignoring the massive castle the duke resided in. This room was something you could only wished you could pull off when you finally marry.

Maybe, one day, you sighed.

“why the long face, ms Y/L/N?” a voice called out, making you turn around with a grin.

grayson looked just as beautiful as the lights and paintings, dare you say handsome. Something about the way his hair feel and his skin glimmered did something to you.

Grayson could say the same about you — god, your smile and the way your eyes lit up just for him was nearly enough for him to propose on the spot. Your hair was done up, but grayson just wanted to run his hands through it and head you sigh in complete relaxation.

“No frown. The ball is so beautiful, your grace” you say bowing causing grayson to laugh.

“Come with me, i have something you might like”

The duke dragged you out of the room ignoring the looks of mamas and debutants. He pulled you into what you could only describe as some sort of exhibit. Paintings adorned all over the walls and a fire place right in the middle of the wall. This had to be your favourite room thus far — excluding where the ball is taking place. The paintings were absolutely extraordinary and somehow even with a handsome duke beside you, you couldn’t take your eyes from them.

“My mother painted most of these — i think all, forgive me if i’m incorrect” grayson started moving to a beautiful painting off the sky. “She used to go to this cottage every summer, she brought me down last year when i became the duke. I painted with her and we talked. She’s extraordinary at art a shame my father never let her sell any or earn any money” he said with a shaky breathe. “She died this fall, along with my father. So these are the only things i have as a reminder of her, or of them. My sister took all of their belongings for safe keeping. Ethan does not care too much. I wish i was trusted more” grayson admitted, basically knocking the wind out of you.

You knew his parents had died, but you never knew how much hurt he still felt. Of course, thinking back that was such a stupid thought. His parents had died one after the other, leaving such a young duke behind.

“Your mother is very extraordinary indeed. Just like you” you say getting a smile out of the duke. “i must say the clouds and the river one must be my favourite.” you say easing the tension.

grayson nodded in agreement.

You turn to the duke, only now realising how close you actually were. “i trust you. a lot more than i should, my grace.” you whispered looking up at him, a flush appearing in your cheeks.

“i wish i had gotten to know you sooner” he admitted making your breathe hitch. “i wish i never came up with this agreement. i wish i just asked you to marry me then and there. Because you are the smartest, most beautiful woman i have ever had to privilege of meeting”

your eyes filled up with tears, as grayson held your hand. He started to pull down the sleeve of your glove, you eyes widening but there was no objecting. You felt your glove fall down the ground and the duke big, soft hand take its place.

“We will be married”

“And you will be my dutchess”

#grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fic #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan insta #grayson #dolan #ethan #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #asks #fic #fics #fanfic #fanfiction #imagines #blurbs #requests #grayson dolan x y/n #grayson dolan oneshot #grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan concept #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan fluff #grayson dolan angst #grayson dolan headcannon #ethan dolan blurb #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan imagines #dad grayson dolan #dad!grayson

[starrlikesbooks]

Let’s talk about upcoming books!

It’s hard to believe the year is nearly over, but it’s equally hard to believe that it’s somehow still 2020  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Either way, the new year means at least one good thing- cool new books!

Click the read more for a little on each and why I’m excited! And have a great new year! 💓🎉

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey is Gailey’s third full-length novel, and their second Adult novel. It’s an SFF story about a woman whose husband is cheating on her… with a clone of herself… which he made by stealing her research. The layers of betrayal! Obviously her and the clone have to kill him, what other choice do they have? I’m super excited for another one of Gailey’s fun, complex characters and the concept alone sounds so, so cool.

The Valley and the Flood by Rebecca Mahoney I’ve already had the pleasure over reading and I am PUMPED to get other people to read it! This is a magical realism story about grief and baggage mixed with a southern (western?) gothic vibe with the town in the desert full of otherwordly “neighbors”. This is a beautiful story of PTSD and healing and as well as a lushly magic one.

The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore is another one I’ve already been lucky enough to get an advanced copy of. This is a magical realism story about the trauma of two characters’ unfortunately closely connected sexual assault. This one is heavy, and if you’re sensitive to stories involving rape and/or blackmail you may want to avoid it, but it’s well written and honestly an excellent story of healing and reflection.

Lycanthropy & Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal I…. have also already read! Sorry- I am just a very lucky reader of books! This is a really modern online friendship based story of a girl and her community of people with chronic illnesses, like the one that forced her to come back home from college. But it turns out her best friend’s chronic illness is a little… weird. I love the humor in this book, I love the characters, I love the representation of these illnesses and the online communities they form, and I honestly think that anyone who 1) like werewolves and 2) is still on tumblr will love this book.

Blade of Secrets by Tricia Levenseller combines three of my favorite things- bladesmiths, magical quests, and the author of The Shadows Between Us. A magical bladesmith takes a commission from someone far more dangerous than she knows, and winds up with an uber powerful sword able to steal secrets, on the run, and with some surprising friends. I can’t think of anything I don’t like from that, and I know I already love Levenseller’s characters, so!

Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater has… that title, but is also the sequel to Call Down the Hawk, Stiefvater’s Ronan Lynch centric TRC spin off. CDTH was incredible and ended with a massive cliff hanger, so I’m chompin at the bit for this book. More magical dreams! More disembodied voices! More murder and art theft and Declan Lynch failing at pretending not to be weird af!

May the Best Man Win by ZR Ellor has the potential to make me cry right from the get go. This is a MLM trans lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story and my God I’m vibrating. Basically it’s a battle for prom king between exes who had a messy break up because one of them ended their relationship in order to come out & transition. The cover is so cute and I’m ready for this to be fluffy and fun.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston is McQuistion’s sophomore novel after Red, White & Royal Blue, so… obviously? This one is sapphic and involves falling for someone who is literally in the past. I trust McQuiston so much I’d need this book immediately even if the concept didn’t sound amazing, but I’m feeling blessed that it does!

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas is about being best friends with (and crushing on) a ghost while also coming out to yourself as trans. As an enby who likes ghost books- may I just say trans rights? This book also involved parental abuse, so beware if you find that distressing or triggering!

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury not only has a stunning cover and a main character who looks like she means serious business, but it’s a dark urabn fantasy about witches. The main character fails her ritual to come into her magic, she’s forced to kill her true love or strip her whole blood line. Ah, I love difficult choices, gray morality, and magic, so I’m already in love with this.

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson I’m astounded and super excited to know is going to exist at all. I loved the Truly, Devious trilogy, and while this isn’t exactly a part of that it is the same main character and it is still a mystery about an unsolved murder! Plus, I love summer camps, so a summer camp murder mystery makes me happy.

Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta is a sappic enemies-to-lovers about two girls on opposite sides of a war fought by giant Windups. This is a cyberpunk book of spies and pilots and gay love, and it’s also the first in a series!

Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell is the third and (most likely) final book of the Simon Snow series and it’s gonna be GOOD. My only wish is for it to be about 500 pages longer because I want a full out door stopper of tying up loose ends.

The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters is the second book by the Ghost Wood Song author- which was on my most anticipated list for 2020 last year! That one was creepy and folky and queer, and this one looks to be the same. This one has a sister disappear and some strong magic to find out what happened to her, and if their mother was the one who did it.

Mark of the Wicked by Georgia Bowers is a dark fantasy about a girl who comes into her powers but has some different ideas about how she should be using them. I love morally gray or just plain dark main characters, so I’m ready to jump right on this one. This one also involves memory loss/blacking out and being framed, which always adds a cool mysterious layer!

Among Thieves by M.J. Kuhn involves queer, selfish thieves forced to band together. I have a soft spot for characters who are really flawed and don’t want to work together (especially if it leads into found family!) and this also has a slow burn sapphic relationship and a lot of possible betrayal in it, so I’ll probably go crazy from reading it.

Beyond the Ruby Veil #2 by Mara Fitzgerald doesn’t have a title yet but it does have a great plot to work off of. I loved the first book- which was creepy, had a completely awful, villainous main character, and full (I mean full) of murder- and it ended in a way that point to the sequel being just as good if not better. The first one had the quality of just watching the world burn, and I have a feeling this one’s going to be the same thing with maybe more flames. If you plan on picking up either of them, consider checking out the CWs, though!

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen got added to this immediately because Owen definitely gained my love and trust via The Merciful Crow duology, and I’m certain it’s going to be incredible solely because she’s a wonderful writer and her characters are a lot of fun- and speaking of characters, she’s already shared some drawings and info on them and they’re GREAT I cannot wait to meet them. This is a retelling of The Goose Girl story, from the maid’s POV!

Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan was originally on my 2020 most anticipated but then 2020 happened so… yeah. But it is actually coming out in 2021, as long as the world doesn’t end again (fingers crossed). Inspired by East Asian mythology, this one is about a dangerous cult, a peasant cursed to steal souls, and an exiled prince!

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta is going to be one of those cute, fluffy, feel good reads, which I think we probably all need about now. I love Capetta’s work and their very queer characters, and I love the idea of a magical baker both breaking up and then getting couples back together. Also, the MC is agender- we love to see it.

The Second Coming by André-Naquian Wheeler follows a teen with a traumatic past falling for a boy who might be the second coming of Jesus Christ. Honestly, I’m a little nervous about this one- but also I almost wrote my own queer second coming story, so who am I to talk? I don’t know much more about this book, but I’m excited to see what it turns out like!

#new books #2021 books #2021 releases #the echo wife #sarah gailey #the valley and the flood #rebecca mahoney #the mirror season #anna marie mclemore #lycanthropy & other chronic illnesses #lycanthropy and other chronic illnesses #kristen o'neal #blade of secrets #tricia levenseller #may the best man win #zr ellor #mister imposible #cdth #maggie stiefvater #one last stop #casey mcquiston #violet ghosts #leah thomas #blood like magic #lielle sambury #the box in the woods #truly devious #maureen johnson #gearbreaks #zoe hana mikuta

[partnersatfazbear]

I’m... salty? Fazbear Frights: The Cliffs anaylsis

My initial thoughts about The Cliffs under the cut (contains spoilers):

The Cliffs - My favorite story of the bunch, but mostly because I really liked the main character. Not TOO much to write home about, but I will pick apart a few lines from this one. In my first set of similarities, the wife dies in childbirth. Not only is this a huge fear of mine (for my wife, in the future), but I wrote this happening in William’s backstory in RS. I generally loved the protagonist here, except when he didn’t realize the obvious: the Freddy was telling him not to kill himself, but where is son was. That doll got burned (yes, burned!), run over, and tossed off a cliff for nothing. I wouldn’t be surprised if that thing came back to kill them :V

Only thing that annoyed me was a few paragraphs wasted on a female co worker, because for some reason that was relevant. (No really, it wasn’t.) Why does this series insist on writing PAGES about useless love interests that do nothing for the plot, nothing for the MC, AGH. I know it’s a kids book series but Christ it’s annoying and I’ve been skipping this sort of stuff and the long action sequences.

The Breaking Wheel - This was the story I liked the least, but honestly, the one I’ll be writing the most about. I think it parallels William and Henry a little and I was a little irked how similar a specific part was to my Springtrap-springlock chapter in Resurrection Seeker.

So first, the story focuses mostly around two kids and they are rivals in a robotics class. One kid a huge douche (Julius) but competent and the other is struggling to put his ideas on paper (Reed). Then there’s Reed’s friend, Pickle, who is a genius.

I’m just gonna bullet point stuff I thought was relevant:

- Reed describes his relationship towards Pickle as: “He was so used to Pickle out performing everyone around him that praising him for doing something well was like praising him for breathing.” (This really reminded me of William’s admiration for Henry, although there isn’t any jealousy here.)

- Reed is described as having a “monkey face”. This reminded me of William, mostly because of the criticism from the fandom towards The Silver Eyes GN’s design. It could be a jab or coincidence.

- Julius’ robot is an exoskeleton (like the power loader from Aliens). When showing off, he becomes trapped in it:

- Reed leaves Julius to be trapped in the exo all night, including locking him in place so he can’t move. This is initially to get back at Julius for being a dick, but then the guilt starts eating away at Reed. Also, Julius getting locked in: “Julius jerked his arms, yanking to free them from the restrains of his skeletal suit....” Julius says: “Unlock me!” and “Do what I tell you! Unlock me!”

Reed tells him, “I’m going to leave you here in your suit overnight... so you can get an idea of what it feels like to... [be treated the way you treat others]. Maybe your robot can teach you a thing or two.”

Julius says, “Get back here you stupid ape! Do you know what you’ve done? I’m going to kill you! ... I’m going to tear you apart, limb from limb. Get back in here and unlock this! ... You can’t leave me in here like this!”

So, yeah. It reminds me a lot of Springtrap. As for the actual story... I was disappointed. The story starts off good (albiet with that poor kid trope this series LOVES) and reminded me early on of The Tell-Tale Heart. Then it defies stated logic to make a real, edgy ending that I didn’t care for. If the entire thing had been in Reed’s head it would’ve been better (more akin to Blackbird, which did the “in your head” trope poorly. If these stories were switched around, I think they’d work better.) So this story was meh. Such a promising start.

Another thing that annoyed me was a few paragraphs wasted describing Orey (fml I don’t care if I spell it wrong. Who the hell comes up with these names). He barely shows up in the story and is just a background character... story could’ve worked without him.

He Told Me Everything - If you love Goosebumps style stories, this ones for you. I really enjoyed it, but it had almost nothing to do with FNAF. The Chris name is obviously a giant troll (and to make matters worse his father’s name is Dave). The sister and wife don’t have any name parallels, although the wife reminded me a lot of my design for Mrs. Afton. The backstory of Chris’ family reminds me a lot of Afton’s backstory for Resurrection Seeker. Like. A lot. It’s spooky how close it is.

“The houses were small, identical little boxes, which had originally been built for workers at the steel mill...” “His dad... ...had gone on to vocational school to learn how to work on cars.”

Another thing to note about the Dad is his weight is specifically touched on several times. Seemed like a callback to the novels’ mention of an earlier version of William.

All in all, a solid entry into the books and some weird coincidences I can’t overlook.

The story did drag a little, but honestly, not nearly as bad as the others. It was good.

Now, for the epilogue.

I don’t know if I wanna fume or not. I’m DISAPPOINTED. Afton essentially dies in the end of it, only to have a piece of his soul in a female endoskeleton escape into the factory. Also, the fucking... the fucking PUPPET shows up (and is actually why Afton dies). [Note: I didn’t realize that Left-E isn’t shown burning in the FNAF 6 ending, which many people are using to justify this. Read below for how I feel about that.] I just. I don’t know. I mean, William always comes back, but... I don’t know how I feel about this. I have a HUGE suspicion that the female endoskeleton is what becomes Vanny. I definetly still see this sort of leading into Security Breach EXCEPT for the fact: The Puppet is still alive.

Okay, so those were my initial thoughts. Upon looking around / rereading people say the female endo is Eleanor (Baby). My wife pointed out I missed the long necked detail. Woops. I wonder if Eleanor/Baby MIGHT be our Vanny stand in in this universe, though. And yeah, still not happy.

Afton is pretty much dead outside of a small part of his soul existing in the endo that escaped (this is an assumption on my part, I don’t think it’s stated, so essentially he’s dead, dead). There are parts of this I liked (and William only had ONE line: “I am Agony.”) Like, no shit? I couldn’t tell! SMH

However, despite some of the parts I thought were interesting (we get a thorough description of AlmagAfton and when he dies its pretty pathetic and I had all the FEELS), I think overall I’m disappointed because we may be at the end of Afton’s story. I have a suspicion that Vanny will be replacing him and possibly even betraying him in Security Breach, if this is anything to go by. Another odd duck is that Jake, in the remnants of the Stichwraith (that everyone insists is the GF parallel) is still wandering around too. I’m assuming Puppet went down with the ship, quite literally, since he [William] falls apart into a lake. Thanks, Charlie. You continue to ruin my day.

My wife pointed out the lake reminded her of OMC’s lake and I’m like... Why are we backpeddling?! This entire epilogue is a fucking mess. Another thing that irritates me (and apparently quite a few people) is if this IS the way the story is heading, then it makes FFPS pretty much USELESS to the story, nullifies Henry’s sacrifice / wishes... and that sucks! ESPECIALLY the fact that the Puppet SURVIVED the FNAF 6 fire! I get she just wants William to pay for what he’s done to her and her father, but... Henry wanted her to rest. To move on. She didn’t do that. That’s shitty to me.

Also, apparently souls have a smell. So that’s canon now.

#the cliffs #fazbear frights #spoilers #security breach theory #william afton #almagafton #the puppet #vanny #stichwraith #henry emily #ffps #fnaf 6

[korra-the-red-lion]

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 19: A Witch is Needed.

(Lyn + Michael)

Lyn

I was flipping to the next page when I felt Ally shift next to me. I paused and looked down at her. Her face was relaxed, but I could the rawness around her eyes where she had been wiping at them last night. I wondered what had triggered her, but then I thought maybe that this had been slowly building up. She had been absent for most of the week. I saw her every now and then, but it was always brief. She hadn’t really been speaking to me or Michael. I asked her about one night, and she just said she and her roommate weren’t talking to one another. Finally, Michael figured out what happened and let me in on it. On top of all the crap that’s been going on with the ghosts, she was having alive people drama too.

The bruises were fading, but I could still see the finger imprints. It caused a burning feeling inside my chest of anger and shame when I saw them. I saw when Fredrik shoved her under the water, and Michael stabbed the dude with a bloody knife, and I tried whacking him off with my bat. But that’s about it. Next thing I knew, I was outside, and the gang is telling me I was possessed. Add that to the list of ‘Lyn’s traumas of her second year at MSU.’ And they say third year is the toughest year.

I put my book down in my lap, staring up at the ceiling. This whole thing was crazy, absolutely bonkers. I can’t believe that most of my semester has been taken up by all these crazy events. But it’s not like Ally’s presence called all this to the forefront. Was there always something going on, but I couldn’t see it? It was a strange feeling, lemme tell ya. I would say I felt a bit jealous that I couldn’t at least sense them like Michael could. It made me feel useless when it came to the actual ghost hunting. But if I couldn’t see them, then how was Fredrik visible to me? Huh, I never really thought about it before.

And it turns out that the ghost that Ally has been getting a lot of information from was a dead family member. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, honestly. I didn’t see my dad’s family all that much. I saw old pictures of great grandpa George when he was young after he passed away. Him and his sister looked very similar, I remember thinking at the time. Both had the same slender faces and big ears that my dad had. Both of them even had the same freckles. But whereas my great grandpa looked very serious in his family photos, his sister had this amused smile on her face, as if she was in on a joke that no one else was. It was said that he really lost himself when she died, and he became a bitter person who blamed the justice system for never figuring what happened to her. He was the only one who thought something bad happened, while others thought she just ran away from home because she didn’t want to marry the man they set her up with. Hey, I could totally relate to that, homegirl.

Ally shifted again, knocking me out of my thoughts. She pressed right up against me, causing a smile to flutter onto my face. It just felt nice to have someone you cared about seeking you in their sleep. I lightly brushed my knuckles against her face, pushing the hair out it. A small smile appeared on her sleeping face.

Something warm bloomed in my chest as I stared down at her. Have I ever felt this way before? I tried to think about all my previous partners, but I couldn’t ever remember having a warmth like this. It was a…a weird feeling.

I turned my attention back to my book when I heard Ally groan as she woke up. She stretched her arms before snuggling back down. I could see her hazel eye peeking out from under the covers, watching me. I picked up the bottle of water from the floor and handed it to her. Ally took it gratefully. She cracked it open and took a small sip as she sat up next to me.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, watching her.

Ally took another sip, nodding as she did. She set it down after putting the lid back on it. “I feel better. Sorry about that…”

“Hey, don’t apologize to me,” I said, reaching over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “That’s something you should never apologize for.”

She looked embarrassed but nodded all the same.

“Did you want to talk about it?”

“Um…” she sighed, raking her hands through her hair. “I just…I dunno. Everything sort of hit me at once, I guess. I feel like I’m so close to figuring this all out, but there’s just something I’m missing. Then I also realized how far behind I was in all my schoolwork, so that didn’t help. Oh, and I had this horrible dream where I watched all of them die again.” She brought her knees up to her chest, looking defeated.

“Ally.” I bonked her lightly on the head. She looked over at me in surprise.

“What was that for?”

“You’re not doing this alone,” I said, cupping her cheek and rubbing my thumb against her skin. “Michael and I are helping you every step of the way. We, not you, are going to figure this out. Together. So, stop stressing about it so much, okay?”

She stared at me before sighing again. “I know, I know. It’s just- ugh, it’s just that sometimes my brain goes into overdrive, and I can’t stop it. Like, logically I understand what you’re saying, but my brain disagrees otherwise.”

“I get it,” I said. “I don’t understand it on a personal level, but I get it. Just remember that we’re here for you. I’m here for you. You’re not doing this alone,” I repeated firmly.

“Okay…thanks,” she smiled shyly.

“You’re welcome,” I kissed her on the forehead before resting mine against it. “Now, are you hungry or anything? We could go get breakfast.”

Ally said nothing as she stared into my eyes. Slowly, she nodded, rubbing our foreheads together. I made no effort to move, however. Neither did she. I felt her breath on my face as her breathing slowed down. Ally closed her eyes, her lips lightly brushing against mine. But just before she kissed me, I pulled away, stifling a giggle as I said, “Okay, let’s go then!”

Ally opened her eyes in confusion. “Did you just-? Did you seriously just tease a kiss?!” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the incredulous tone of her voice.

“Me? Teasing? I would never dream of it.” I couldn’t supress the broad grin that was growing on my face.

“You’re a horrible person, you know that right?” she grumbled as she crossed her arms.

“Maybe,” I teased with a smirk, “but I’m your horrible person.”

Ally fell back dramatically into the pillow. “You know what? I don’t want breakfast after all. I’m just going to lie here with Pickles. He’s the only one who cares about me.”

I laughed loudly as I bent over, kissing her on the lips. “Come on, you need to eat, you dingus.”

“I need one more to be fully charged, otherwise I can’t move,” she said seriously. I kissed her again, a bit longer this time before pulling away with a soft smile. She smiled back and nodded. “Okay, I’m good to go now. Thanks for the charge.”

“Anytime, luv.”

XXX

It was later that day that I sat with Michael in the library with newspapers, old articles, and messy notes spewed all around us. Trying to figure out what the fuck happened to Jeremiah Kinkly was driving us both to the brink of insanity. So far, despite hours of looking, we’ve found basically next to nothing.

Michael groaned as he crumbled up another note and dumped it in the bag we designated for that purpose. “I just don’t get it, it’s like this dude doesn’t even exist.”

“Maybe he doesn’t, and the universe is fucking with us,” I said dryly, not looking up from my laptop.

“That sounds like something the universe would do.”

Despite our joking, it was starting to feel hopeless. I told Ally she wasn’t allowed to help us with this today because she needed to catch up on schoolwork. She was sitting nearby and kept sneaking glances our way, but we both had put our foot down. She grumbled and complained but we stayed strong. I could feel her eyes on us now, but I ignored her. I didn’t want her helping at all. The whole thing was overwhelming her right now, and she needed a break from it for a little bit.

Michael sighed as he dragged over a book he took out. It was supposed to help with our Fredrik problem, according to him. Because we weren’t sure that he would disappear if we captured the killer, it was a precautionary measure. Except for one tiny problem: we had no idea how to do a spell. Michael had read through the book several times yet couldn’t find any solution that didn’t involve a witch. I mean, we already had half a dozen ghosts roaming around, so why not add a witch to the mix? Absolute insanity, that’s what this was.

He did mention heading down to the weird bookstore later and talking to the owner. Michael claims that she was basically a witch, so she might be able to help, or at least give us pointers. I’ve never stepped foot in that store, but I trusted his judgement. He was a good guy with a steady head on his shoulders, so he wouldn’t suggest it unless he thought there was a chance it would work.

Another few useless search results and I was starting to get annoyed. How the fuck was there nothing on this stupid man? You would think that someone who died on this cursed campus would show up somewhere. Michael was right, it was like he didn’t exist. But we had the DNA results, which meant that there should be proof somewhere that he was a real person.

We wanted to avoid asking Professor Kinkly about it. We didn’t know who this guy was, and we didn’t want to drag anyone else into this mess. Of course, that was a huge pain in the ass. I bet we wouldn’t be dragging our asses like this if we could ask him. Jesus Christ, I was about to murder someone.

I threw my head back, closing my eyes in annoyance. It felt pointless to keep looking, we’ve been at it for hours at this point. Maybe we should just cut our losses for now and move on to the next problem instead. Hell, that was what Michael was doing. I ran my hands down my face before adjusting myself back into searching position. The open Google tab looked as if it was mocking me. What a bastard.

I crossed my arms as I stared at the blank search box, racking my brains to figure if there was something I was missing. I tried every word combination I thought of. That hadn’t worked. I even tried to look him up in obituaries, but it seemed like he never got one. How could a man whose DNA just not be anywhere at all? It didn’t make sense. God, I wished I was a hacker, then I could go into a hospital or police database.

“You guys look like you need a break,” said Ally as she approached our table.

“Hey, you’re banned!” Michael pointed his finger at Ally. “This is blasphemous!”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “I just noticed how beat you looked. It might be worth it to stop for awhile, maybe even go for a walk.”

“That’s very ironic, coming from you,” I remarked. “You know?”

Ally held her hands up defensively. “It was just a suggestion. Maybe we could go to the store that Michael had mentioned?”

“What’s this ‘we’ stuff?” Michael raised his brows. “I literally just said you were banned. Weren’t you listening?”

“Hey, I need a walk too,” she laughed. “Plus, I’ve made great strides. I finished both my English and Psych work.”

“Damn, we’ve been doing this for a long time then,” I groaned, throwing my head back again.

Michael rapped his knuckles against the table. “Alright, we go to the store, then come back here. Ally’s not wrong, we’re pretty done. Maybe a change in scenery is something that we need. And,” he grinned at Ally, “since you did get a bit of work down, you can come.”

Ally gave an adorable fist pump as she grinned at me victoriously. I rolled my eyes, keeping my own smile off my face. “Just know I didn’t agree to this.”

“Good thing I didn’t ask you,” she snarked playfully.

Together, we quickly packed up our things and headed out.

XXX

Michael.

The bell didn’t tinkle when we walked in. I looked up in confusion and saw that it was taped down. That was strange.

The other strange thing was Talia wasn’t anywhere in sight. Maybe she was just in the back? I walked towards the counter, surprised to see someone else sitting there instead. It was Talia’s daughter, the one with a mane of black hair and spiked bracelets that looked like they belonged in Hot Topic. Actually, they probably were from there.

She was sitting on the stool with her elbows propped on the counter, reading a book of some sorts. She glanced up when I approached the counter, sighing as she closed the book.

“Can I help you?” she asked flatly.

“Uh…I was wondering if Talia was around, actually.” I looked around and saw Ally and Lyn staring at the petrified doll heads with curiosity and apprehension, respectively. “We just needed help with something.”

She looked around before saying bluntly, “Huh, looks like she’s not here. Have a nice day.” She went to open the book again.

“Well…it’s Katherine, right? Can you just tell her we stopped by? Oh, and I’m Michael, by the way.”

Katherine looked at me with a mix of annoyance and exasperation. “Yeah, I will. Goodbye now.” She went back to reading with a shake of her head.

I was about to leave when I noticed that she wasn’t just reading a regular novel. She was reading a spell book! That’s a very odd reading choice, but I ain’t judging. Instead, I put on my best smile and cleared my throat.

There was murder in her eyes as she looked up again. At this point, Ally had made her way while Lyn was looking at the stuffed bear head in confusion. She stood next to me as Katherine glared daggers at me. Her eyes flickered between the two of us before she heaved another great sigh.

“What do you people want? I already told you that mom wasn’t here,” she snapped.

“What are you reading?” I asked, gesturing to the book. Ally stared at it, her eyes bright with interest.

“A book.”

“But that’s not a normal book.”

“Why do you give a shit?”

“I just was wondering if you knew anything about witchcraft?”

She stared at me silently, her eyes narrowed. Oops, maybe that was too forward of me. After a few minutes of very tense silence, she dropped her shoulders slightly.

“Why?” Katherine crossed her arms, still glaring at me. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because,” Ally spoke up, “we’re trying to send a spirit back to wherever it’s suppose to be, and we need someone who understands spells and witchy stuff. We thought that asking the woman who owns this store would be our best bet.”

Doesn’t Ally respect that she’s banned from engaging in this stuff today? Clearly not, sheesh. I nodded in agreement, and added, “She’s been kinda helping us this whole time.”

Katherine pinched the bridge of her nose before sliding off the stool to stand. She leaned against the counter and appraised us both. Ally stared back, not breaking off eye contact while I maintained it the best I could.

“You’re crazy, the two of you,” she shook her head. “Mom is out of town for the day and asked me to watch over the store while she was out. Sorry, but she won’t be back until then, maybe even longer depending.”

I couldn’t hide the disappointment on my face. An extra day wasn’t that big a deal, but it still sucked that we came here for nothing. I was ready to leave when Ally got a strange look on her face. I looked at her with a frown, but she was still looking at Katherine. Lyn walked over, eyes flickering between the two women.

“What’s going on?” she whispered to me. I just shrugged my shoulders, not really sure myself.

Ally suddenly gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. She shook whatever that was off and said, “Well, why don’t you help us then?”

My jaw dropped open as Lyn frowned in confusion, having missed most of the conversation. Katherine looked just as surprised at the suggestion before she burst into laughter.

“That’s insane!” Katherine had a small smirk on her face until she saw Ally’s determined expression. “Wait, are you serious? You actually think I can help you?”

“Well, why not?” Ally said with a shrug. “I doubt your mom would have put you in charge of the store unless you could at least understand half the stuff in here. Plus, you were reading that spell book when we came in, and I’m guessing you’re not doing that for fun.”

Damn, Ally’s observation skills were on point yet again. Lyn looked silently impressed, wearing a smirk as she nodded her approval. Katherine still looked surprise, and maybe even a little unsure. She tugged at the end of her hair, staring at Ally warily.

“You are asking something of me that you can’t even prove,” she said slowly. “Who ever said magic is real?”

“Ghosts are,” said Ally bluntly, “and one of them was brought here somehow. Please, I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t sure.”

Katherine looked skeptical as she worked her fingers through her hair. “Well…that’s definitely a point. What is it you actually need from me?”

Ally beamed as she turned to me, indicating that I could do the explaining. Quickly, I tried my best to explain the whole Fredrik thing without going into too much detail, because at this point, we could write a novel with everything we had going on. Katherine listened, her face pinched with nervous energy. After I finished, she looked away, her expression contemplative.

“Okay…” she glanced back us briefly before diverting her attention again. “I need some time to think about it. That sounds really stupid and really dangerous. I’m not about to put myself in harm’s way just for some strangers. Now get out, I need to be alone right now.”

We left, making sure the door was closed behind us tightly. Katherine immediately locked the door behind us, flipping the sign to ‘close’ before heading back to the counter. We walked a little ways away before I whirled on my heel, staring at Ally in awe.

“How did you do that?” I asked in wonderment.

Ally shrugged as she reached for Lyn’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “I just guessed, honestly. There was something…hmm, strange? I’m not sure how to say it, but there was something strange about her… you know,” she waved her other hand around widely.

“No one knows what that means,” remarked Lyn.

She rolled her eyes in response. “I just felt something around her. I can’t really explain it. I think she’s going to help, though.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said. “I tried looking for other options, but I couldn’t figure out any other ways to send him back. It’s not great that we have to ask other people for help, but I think it should be okay. Just a quick spell and poof! He’s gone, hopefully back to where he belongs.”

Lyn pressed her fingers to her temple, messaging it lightly. “I can’t explain how happy I’ll be once this craziness is all over, you know? This whole thing just keeps unraveling more and more. It will be nice to hang out with you guys when it doesn’t involve murder and hauntings.”

Ally laughed, pressing her lips to Lyn’s knuckles. “Listen, you signed up for this. Ghosts are an everyday part of life for me.”

“I was also thinking of starting up a ‘Spook Searchers’ business after this case is all said and done,” I joked.

“You better change the fucking name, then,” said Lyn. “Because no offense to either of you, it’s terrible!”

We both gasp in mock indignation before the three of us burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh about all this. There have been some really heavy times for us, but so far, we’ve made it through it okay. I have to admit, the day I decided to share my umbrella with Ally was one of the best things I ever did. I really liked these girls, and I was happy about our friendship. I left all my friends and family back home in Victoria, so finding two people I really got along with was awesome.

XXX

We were back in the library, our energy renewed. Lyn ordered us pizza to share, though she put her foot down on Hawaiian pizza (even though it’s the most delicious). Well, I wasn’t going to argue too much, since most pizzas were delicious, and I was starving.

We ended up banishing Ally back to her old table, despite her protests. It wasn’t until the threat of no pizza was issued did she comply. Now she sat alone, grumbling under her breath as she worked on something for her Anthro class. She would be fine.

Us, on the other hand, might not be. Frustration was setting in again as we made barely any headway on the JK case. Lyn’s tapping was getting more aggressive as she searched up a bunch of things, glaring at the screen as if that would help reveal the secrets. Meanwhile, I was stuck on paper duty, and it was super boring. The only thing about a Kinkly that showed up was when Prof Kinkly got his job here at Mount Seamus. That was literally all I could find. Not very helpful at all.

A thought occurred to me, and it was a long shot. Lamar had gotten the results from somewhere. I glanced at the email again, wondering if maybe they had something we could work with. I sent the person who sent the email to Lamar with the results a message, asking if there was any photographic evidence of the DNA results. Maybe it would go nowhere, but it was better than doing nothing.

I bit my thumb, chewing on the nail as I flipped through other useless articles. I found my focus waning as I stared at the same sheet of paper for several minutes unmoving. My mind wandered to the ghosts. Would they just leave after we figured out who killed them? Probably, hey? It would be strange to not have Amelia in my thoughts anymore. I felt bad for her and the others too. It was a horrible thing to even imagine, being stuck in the place that you died in. I shuddered at the thought.

My mind then drifted to Katherine. She didn’t agree to help us, but she also didn’t say no. I mean, why though? It just seemed really weird that she didn’t outright refuse. And what did Ally mean by saying there was something strange about her? I didn’t notice anything out of the norm. Maybe she was picking up on something ghostly that I couldn’t sense? I think that would be a first.

Was it warm in here today? I felt warm, sitting here in the library chair. I looked over at Lyn, who was staring at her laptop screen with a look of pure resentment, as if she couldn’t believe the answers weren’t just popping out in front of her. The intensity of her stare used to unsettle me slightly, but I’ve grown used to it at this point. I don’t really remember much about her sister, the one who picked us up, but I wondered if she harboured the same intensity. It made me nervous to think of her parents.

I sighed, putting my arms behind my head. Maybe it was better to just call this night off now. Neither of us were getting anywhere, and I had zero focus suddenly. I wasn’t even sure Lyn was focusing. Ally was working away on her assignment, or so she claimed. Maybe she was sneakily lookin’ stuff up too. I smiled, thinking that is something she would do. I wish she would take a bit more care of herself, considering all the crap she’s been through as well.

I jumped in my seat when Lyn scrapped her chair back. She stood up and cracked her back and shoulders before looking at me. “I need to walk around a bit and grab something to drink. Do you want anything?”

“Mind just grabbing me a water?”

“Bottled water?” Lyn made a face. “I guess so.”

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked incredulously.

“Everything. Everything about bottled water is wrong,” huffed Lyn before shaking her head. “No, don’t do this, Lyn. Don’t get into it, it’s not worth it. Ally, do you want anything?”

Ally’s tired face looked up from her laptop at the sound of her name. “Maybe a hot chocolate, if you don’t mind.”

Lyn nodded. “Sure thing. One hot chocolate and one destroyer of the planet, coming up.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I bet those coffee cups are just as bad!”

She stuck her tongue at me as she grabbed her wallet and headed up the stairs. I shook my head in disbelief. Ally caught my eye and chuckled under breath, her shoulders rising in rhythm.

I leaned back in my chair and frowned at Ally. “I think we should stop for the night, honestly. We’re literally getting nowhere.”

“What’s this ‘we’ stuff?” Ally said in a tone that mocked my voice from earlier. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to help, since you banned me and all that jazz.”

“Stop be so dramatic,” I said with a laugh.

“I will never, ever, stop.” She smiled at me before slumping down in her seat. “But in all realness, I agree that you should stop if you feel stuck. It’s probably just so much garbage to sift through. Maybe a good night’s rest will be just what you need.”

“Maybe.” I ran my hands over my face. I hated the bristles that were growing out slowly on my chin right now. Movember was a great cause but man, was my face itchy. Curse my Asian heritage and its inability to grow facial hair in comfortable way. Wait…did anyone grow facial hair in a comfortable way?

Lyn came clomping back down with the drinks in hand. She tossed the bottle of water at me, then set Ally’s drink down softly in front of her. Ally thanked her with a smile while Lyn sat back down, a tea in hand. She took a small sip, giving out a sigh of contentment.

“I needed this,” she groaned.

“We should stop for now,” I suggested. I cracked open the lid and took a swig.

“Probably,” she amended. “I felt like I’ve gone in circles tryna find anything on this idiot.”

I nodded in understanding. We had been at this literally all day, except for a little break. Maybe it was just a matter of not looking in the right spot or something like that. Whatever it was, it was driving us both up the wall. There was no point in continuing if we were just knocking out heads against the table.

But just before we started to pack up, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and noticed it was a response from the people who sent the results. I opened the email and saw that they included an attachment. Suddenly my hands were shaking in anticipation and excitement as I clicked the file. What I saw nearly made me drop my phone.

“Michael?” Ally asked puzzled. “Is everything okay?”

My words were failing me as I nodded slowly. Lyn got up and looked over my shoulder and her jaw dropped in surprise. Finally, Ally had enough and came over to see what all the drama was about. She took the phone from my hand and stared at the picture. Her face paled as her eyes widened in shock.

“No way…” she whispered. She put the phone face up on the table, so the man in the photo was looking up at us with a charming smile on his face. The photo must have been taken in the ’50s or something, but it was hard to say for certain. But it wasn’t the age of the photo, it was the person in it that was shocking us all.

Jeremiah Kinkly looked exactly like Robert Kinkly, our drama professor.

#unnatural affairs #ua #ally holland #lyn hart #michael yamamoto #katherine howard #ghosts #murder mysteries #romance #paranormal #wlw romance #sapphic lead #original story #orginal work #writing

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #454: Another Phantom Thieves GroupChat (Persona 5)

Ren: Morning my peeps.

Makoto: Good Morning everyone.

Ryuji: 'Sup.

Yusuke: Good Morning.

Futuba: Yo!

Haru: Hello.

Mona: Morning.

Ann: Good morning to you too, my beauties!~ How's our favorite married couple doing on this fine day?

Makoto: We're not married, Ann.

Ren: But back on the question at hand, I say we're both doing great. Especially my queen right beside me :)

Makoto: Yes. Well.... I'm doing a lot better now than I was yesterday actualy.

Haru: What do you mean by that? What happened?

Makoto: Nothing too serious. I went to the cemetery to visit my father.....

Haru: Oh my.....

Ann: Aww.....

Yusuke: Oh dear....

Futuba: :(

Ryuji: Damn.....That must've been pretty tough for you to go there, wasn't it?

Makoto: It was. In fact, I even expected to walk back home depressed......

Haru: Makoto.......

Makoto: But I am so glad that I was wrong, because Ren was right by my side that day and made everything better. He even took me to a nearby fair afterwards and won me a huge, stuff Buchimaru-kun plushie!

Makoto: Uploaded Buchimaru-kun!!!.jpg

Ann: Awwwwwwwwww!!~

Haru: It looks sooooo cute~

Futuba: And frickin' huge!

Makoto: I know, right?! It's soft, fluffy, and I love it!~

Ryuji: Man, you are literally doing everything to make the prez happy, huh bro?

Ren: Hell yeah I am, bro. Makoto's my Queen and I love her.

Ann: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!~

Haru: So precious~

Ren: Uploaded AKissFromMyQueen.jpg

Yusuke: Beautiful.

Futuba: Oh barf.

Ann: Okay, Seriously! Are you sure you two aren't married yet?!!!

Makoto: Yes, Ann. I'm sure. We're just a couple who loves each other very much.

Ren: We also cuddle :D

Makoto: A lot apparently lol

Futuba: Honestly...... You two are too Adorkable for your own good.

Mona: Adorkable? What the heck does that mean?

Futuba: I'm glad you ask, Kitty-Bro.

Morgana: When will you ever stop calling me that?

Futuba: Never!! :D Now as what I was saying, Adorkable is a mixture between being cute and acting like complete dorks at the same time. Which is exactly what those two clowns on my left are right now!!

Makoto: You'll never gonna let us live this one down, are you?

Futuba: What do you think? >:)

Haru: Well, regardless, I'm really glad you're feeling much better now, Senpai. I know how difficult it could be to think about your father's passings sometimes..............

Ryuji: Haru, I'm starting to see a lot of ellipses on that sentence. You alright?

Ren: Yeah. Did something happened?

Haru: I'm okay, everyone. Really. I was just thinking a bit about a terrible dream I had last night. About my father.....

Makoto: Haru.....

Ann: Sweetheart.......

Futuba: :((

Haru: Please do not worry, everyone. I really am okay. In fact, I'm feeling so much better now that my precious little Knight is with me.

Futuba: "Precious Little Knight?" You're talking about Mona?

Mona: She is, actually. I was able help her get through the night.

Ryuji: For real?

Morgana: Yeah. I saw Haru crying on the kitchen table, so I decided to help out. I originally wanted to try making her coffee, but she was worried that I might hurt myself. So we talked instead.

Haru: And words cannot express how blessed and thankful I am of the talk Mona-Chan and I had last night. It really made my day so much better today :')

Ann: Awwww~

Ryuji: Well whaddya know? The cat does have a heart after all lol

Mona: Of course I have one, Skull. Haru was sad and I did everything I could to help her. Because she's important to me. Just like each and everyone of you here.

Futuba: :O

Ren: Mona, you really mean that?

Mona: Of course I do. We've been through a lot together that.....I already considered you all as family. I know it sounds weird to say, but it's the honest truth.....

Futuba: Okay. Haru, remind me to give this kitty some hugs and kisses the next time I see him please!

Ann: Yeah! Me too!

Haru: Why, of course. But I'm afraid you must wait your turn. Because I'm already giving him love right now!

Haru: Uploaded MeAndOurPreciousMona-Chan.jpg

Ann: My God! Can this day get any more precious?!!

Makoto: Given what's happening in this chat right now, I would say so, Ann lol.

Ren: I believe it. Also, look at us. We're already starting to act like a huge family, don'tcha think?

Yusuke: I believe so, my friend. It seems that our friendship and bond have gotten stronger to the point of that being the case.

Futuba: I agree! I see every last one of you as my actual family! Mona as Little Kitty-Bro, Ann and Haru as doting Big Sisters, Ryuji as a Big Bro, Inari as Inari, Sojiro as Coffee Dad, and Ren and Makoto as Older Siblings who just gotten themselves married.

Makoto: For the last time, Ren and I are not married!!

Ann: Well, shit, Makoto! You might as well be! The both of you are too cute together!!!

Ryuji: Plus, you guys are already acting like one. Soooooooooo......

Ren: That's cause we love each other very much. I mean, granted, I guess you could say that our love has gotten stronger to the point of having that assumption come up, but still.

Futuba: You knooow.........

Ann: What?

Ryuji: What is it?

Ren: Futubaaaaa.....Why am I seeing a giant ass smirk on your face, young lady?

Futuba: I meant to tell you guys about what happened last year.....

Makoto: Oh no......

Yusuke: About what, exactly?

Ren: Nonono.....

Futuba: About the time.....

Ren: Futuba Sakura, don't you dare!

Futuba: My so called "cool" big brother, Ren.....

Ren: I swear to literal Arsene!

Futuba: Had indefinitely...... Blurted out.....

Ren: Jesus Christ, Futuba! Stop!

Futuba: THAT HE WANTED TO MARRY MAKOTO ON SCHOOL THAT DAY!!! :DD

Ann: Oh.......My.........GAWWWWWWD!!!!!

Ryuji: LMFAO!! Holy Shit, Dude!! Seriously?!

Haru: Oh my goodness, that's absolutely wonderful!~

Mona: Congratulations?

Makoto: Yes. What Futuba is saying in this chat is the absolute truth. And now my boyfriend is laying down on my lap in complete, utter embarrassment as we speak. And yes, it's adorable.

Makoto: Uploaded MyPreciousEmbarrassedJoker.jpeg

Ren: Makoto, please.....

Makoto: Well, it's the honest truth, my dear. You are being adorable right now. Not that I have any problems with it, mind you ;)

Ren: Well, excuse me for having a little sister blurting out the most embarrassing moment if my life.....

Futuba: Hey, don't blame the messenger, big bro. I'm just stating out the facts.

Yusuke: The picture you showed us is somewhat exquisite and fascinating. Would you made if I borrow this as inspiration of my upcoming artwork?

Makoto: By all means, Yusuke lol. Just try not to go too extreme with it, okay?

Yusuke: I will try my best.

@keyenuta

@26shann

@miki-13

@albion-93

@cyber-wildcat

@princeoflions123

#persona 5 #ren amimaya #makoto nijima #futuba sakura #haru okumaru #morgana #ryuji sakamoto #ann takamaki #yusuke kitagawa #group chat #humor #a bit of hurt/comfort #lots and lots of fluff here #shumako #ren x makoto #father's month #kind of #takes place a day after ren and makoto visit the cemetery #and a day after haru had a bad dream #morgana cares so much about haru #have to edited it again to make it perfect. sorry about that

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents:  "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love 

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for  entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

:(

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT! 

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

:(

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

Uh

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

Hm

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading -  reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.) 

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

#there is SOME context #and some rambling #but i'm sure some of it doesn't make sense so i'm very up for explaining anything #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #something i #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers

[makeste]

BnHA Vigilantes Chapters 59 - 65: Emergency Catch-Up Blog

before I start, please be advised that the following post will contain a potential MAJOR SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 253, which has not yet been released! please don’t be an idiot like me and spoil yourselves, guys. stay safe.

but anyways yes, this is my recap post for Those Chapters of Vigilantes. at long last. hooray! by the way this is barely edited at all, on account of it being a rush job (see re: the “Emergency” bit in the header). just some raw, unfiltered, [CENSORED SPOILER THING] thoughts and feelings! hopefully it’s readable; when I have more time I’ll try and clean it up a bit more.

so now, first off, credit where credit is due because omg

bless you anon, you saved my life

but let me backtrack! looool so guys, I did a dumb thing and peeked at a spoiler, and read the name “Shirakumo”, and was like FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK and noped out, but it was too late lol. so then I was like “HOW DO I CATCH UP ON THE ENTIRETY OF VIGILANTES IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS”, fully aware that I probably wasn’t going to do shit and would most likely just spend tomorrow apologizing and shrugging my way through the new chapter. and by the way guys, I’ll go ahead and throw in one of those apologies now, because I’ve had at least a dozen anons implore me to pick up Vigilantes, and I’m fully aware that Aizawa’s past has been covered (including one (1) cloudy boi), and that it’s really good. I just haven’t had the energy to do it! because reading and liveblogging are two very different things, and the latter just takes so much more time and energy honestly. so I kept putting it off and off and off, and now here I am

but then this ask came along telling me exactly which chapters to read in order to get the context I need! so seriously anon, you are the MVP of my week, and I appreciate this so, so much. I am now off to read those chapters, and I apologize to everyone again, but while I will liveblog them, it’ll probably be kind of a rush job due to the circumstances. like I won’t get into every single detail here, because it’s six whole chapters. but I’ll do my best

hmm I don’t know what constitutes the second half of chapter 59 lol so here I am reading the whole damn thing

AIZAWA BEING FRIENDS WITH MIDNIGHT, AND MIDNIGHT HAS A CAT OH GOSH

looool

personally, Aizawa hated school. he would never ever dream of becoming a teacher. how ridiculous. irrational af

“we’ll have you teaching at U.A. soon enough” psssh. not this man, sister

he’s hanging up on her now. honestly I am glad I did not skip the first part of this chapter lol

some wolfman is chasing the protag of this series whose name I forgot, as well as a little girl and ANOTHER CAT. this series has so many cats?! apparently!?

Aizawa is saving the cat. the hero we deserve

the protag whose name I am about to look up wants to adopt the cat, which prompts Aizawa to launch into a 2500-word essay on why he should not adopt the cat

okay the kid’s name is Koichi. he’s apparently 19 in the series, but I don’t know how old he is in this particular scene though because I have the vague impression that the series at large takes place in present-day BnHA time, which would mean this is definitely a flashback. so. ??

OHO, NOW IT’S A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!!? so this is the Aizawa past thing everyone’s been all “!!!!” about. well here you go guys

young Shouta is staring at an abandoned kitty in a box in the rain

he left the cat, but also left his umbrella over it, awww

and he arrived at class all wet. and his teacher says he can go change his clothes, but he’s all “NAH I’M EMO SO I’LL JUST STAY LIKE THIS”, wow

“I’m powerless” jesus christ Shou get a grip

here comes Present Mic to forcibly lift his best bud’s spirits. they’re in second year apparently

Present Mic, and I mean this in the most loving and affectionate way possible, is the most annoying man on the planet

how was he not just constantly punched in the face at all times. like constantly walking around being punched by people

well well well

something horrible is sure going to happen to you, isn’t it? here I thought you were probably dead, but I’m kinda getting the inkling [SPOILERS, FOLKS, I’M SERIOUS] you’re gonna maybe show up in the latest chapter of the main series, so I guess not! congratulations I guess?? OR MAYBE NOT

“dammit Shirakumo” oh so it’s like that

their teacher deserves a raise. never thought we’d see another U.A. faculty member more done with life than Aizawa himself

hey Shirakumo is giving Shouta his umbrella back, but what about the cat?! SHIRAKUMO ARE YOU REALLY A NICE GUY, I’M NOT SURE YET

meanwhile he’s stripping naked in the middle of class. oh yes. I forgot Vigilantes was like this

he’s using his cloud quirk to censor himself where it counts

“and inside this cloud... is this charming little creature” lol we think he’s talking about his penis but then he pulls out the cat! WELL NEVER MIND THEN SHIRAKUMO

so Shouta is sitting around thinking emo thoughts that are gradually giving way to some decidedly un-hetero thoughts about Shirakumo, who’s doing that shounen thing where he smiles with his eyes closed while being silhouetted against the bright sun. maaaaan. Aizawa you are hella gay my dude

okay next chapter and they’re being assigned internships

Shirakumo’s hero costume is... well let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s got such a badass quirk

he’s riding around on that cloud like Goku. like a fucking Lakitu from Super Mario

now the teachers are talking about the three boys and whether they’ll be able to land internships

“Yamada shouldn’t have a problem. his voice quirk has applications in battle, rescue, and entertainment. but the boy’s a bit distractible.” okay first of all how the hell would Mic ever rescue a person with his quirk. fucking scream them to safety or what. and second, by distractible you mean punchable right. again, all the love

oh my god he’s so cute

lmao this is seriously my favorite picture of Aizawa ever. GO GETTEM SLUGGER

so Shouta is getting bullied by some guy with a decidedly Katsuki-ish quirk, except he shoots jets of fire out of his hands. but anyway he says that fighting Shouta is boring. SHUT UP, YOU. YOU’RE BORING

Shouta is so emo. but he really does want to be a good hero, he just doesn’t know how. he seems very frustrated

he’s lecturing Kumo on not giving people-food to the cat. and now he has picked up the cat and is cradling and bottle-feeding it like an infant. bless

this manga really has a gag panel of the cat pissing on Shirakumo afterwards, like. see this is another reason why I haven’t exactly been in a rush to read it sob. my sense of humor doesn’t really seem to align with Furuhashi’s

oH MY GOD

high school Midnight is the coolest person I have ever seen and I want to be just like her when I grow up

aaaaand she is literally not wearing any clothes except that belt and those boob-holsters. which, I mean, it’s not like she really dresses any differently in the main series, but this being Vigilantes, I’m sure we’ll get another half a dozen pages showing extreme close-ups of her costume from various angles. again, another area where this series and I don’t quite see eye to eye, but it’s all right since we’re just passing through here

and one year later they wrote a literal law limiting how much exposed skin a hero costume can show. oh Midnight. meanwhile I forgot how much this series makes me appreciate Horikoshi, flaws and all. I’ll take a thousand Minetas over this shit honestly. at least Mineta always gets his comeuppance. but anyway

they have named the cat “Sushi”

Midnight is straight up taking the cat lmao

Yamada got an internship. one down, two to go

Midnight’s back and showing them a video of the cat pooping. one joke about the cat’s bathroom habits in a single chapter was not enough, we’re going for two. not like we have anything more important to cover, like Aizawa getting an internship and something terrible and tragic happening to his boyfriend. let’s just keep talking about cat poop

okay here we go, Midnight says her boss will take them as interns

“Loud Cloud” lmao. home run hero name. GOAT

so Shouta’s chasing a villain and nearly got crushed by a safe that he threw at him, but he’s being saved by some guy who I’m guessing is his boss

oh my

this is the kind of weirdness that only a manga can get away with. I wonder how this idea came into being and whose idea it was, Horikoshi’s or Furuhashi’s. maybe the two of them hitting each other up back and forth in a text chain. “so I’m doing Aizawa’s flashback now, who do you want to have him to intern under?” “hmm I don’t know but I was thinking literally Prince”

Prince is chewing Shouta out something fierce

I thought I was prepared for these Aizawa flashbacks, but some things you can never be prepared for

lol he asked Shouta how he fucked up, and Shouta started listing all of his tactical errors, and Prince interrupted him and is all “I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT THAT GLOOMY FACE” listen son just who do you think your intern is. THAT’S JUST HIS FACE LEAVE HIM ALONE

he says Aizawa wears his stress all over his sleeve and bums people out

he’s telling him to smile! now where have we heard that philosophy before

hello

I’m just reblogging this panel because of reasons

so Shouta is sulking in the locker room, and Shirakumo is showering off and says his MO is to keep smiling even when he screws up

now Midnight is texting Shouta 500 cat pictures

lmao we can’t see Shouta’s face, but Kumo is streaking in and is all “THERE’S THAT SMILE, SUNSHINE!!!!”

OH SHIT NOW IT’S A FEW DAYS LATER AND THE VILLAIN IS BACK BUT THIS TIME SHOUTA DONE GOT HIM SOME GOGGLES!! the path from adorable to sexy begins. the Longbottoming

oh shit the goggles belong to Shirakumo. the gayening. and they were roommates

Shouta’s using his quirk!

and the bad guy is all “I don’t need my quirk to crush you” and straight up demolishing the fucking pavement yikes

and Kumo is leaping at him from above and whomping him on the head

yay they caught him. and Shouta is...

he’s trying. they’ll coax a real smile out of him yet! just show him a Youtube compilation of Logical Ruses

now he and Shirakumo have matching pairs of goggles. I’m just gonna assume this means they are married

the fire hands bully guy from earlier is coming over to start some shit again

he says he also realized the importance of eye protection through his internship. and Mic says he stole the idea from him

now the class is partnering off for two-on-two battle training, and Kumo is partnering with Shouta

they’re going up against Mic and Fire Hands, and for some reason they’re making a wager of it. whoever loses has to stop wearing glasses. this is easily the stupidest thing I have seen in this series yet, not to mention the most accurate

Kumo’s grinning at Shouta and saying the goggles symbolize their friendship and they have to defend them. you know, lovable scamp stuff

now Shirakumo and Shouta are double teaming the Fire Hands guy and taking him out in seconds because OF COURSE THEY DID. lol he never fucking stood a chance

but Shouta’s handing the glasses back and says that two-on-one isn’t fair so he’s calling the wager off

aaaand Fire Hands is snatching them back and stomping on them. and says he doesn’t need them

listen you dingus, yes you do fucking need them. and also he says he didn’t lose! wow this guy really has his head up his ass. I’d say he reminds me of a CERTAIN SOMEONE, but you know what, I’ll give Mr. Certain Someone his fair credit though, because he managed to get his shit together long before his second year. Fire Hands still needs to grow up

the teacher is telling him he missed the point of the exercise, and FH is literally ignoring him and running off wow

apparently Mic also gave up his sunglasses and got himself a pair of goggles. well we know that’s not gonna last. and for that matter, Shouta’s gonna change out his goggles for a different model as well. ohhhhh some tragedy is on the horizon I just know it, this is gonna hurt

Shirakumo says the three of them should start their own agency. ahhh. buddy I’m here reading this from the future, and I gotta tell you, son... shit’s awkward as fuck

and he’s pointing out all the different ways they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses

Shouta says he can’t do anything on his own, but Kumo says that just means he’s suited to teamwork

Kumo’s inviting Midnight to join them, but she’s declining lol

Shouta’s looking at the sky all dramatically. oh baby this is it isn’t it. things are about to get rough

“one week later”

NOO THEY HURT MY PRECIOUS PRINCE

SOMEONE IS CALLING FOR BACKUP AND THE CAMERA IS ZOOMING IN ON A BUSTED UP PAIR OF GOGGLES, FUCK EVERYTHING

now we’re cutting to Mic and Fire Hands and FH replaced his sunglasses with a pair of goggles. goggles are just the in thing now

Fire Hands talks about Aizawa so much I’m starting to ship the two of them now as well. damn Shouta how many high school boyfriends did you have??

so they’re fighting off some toad monster and it’s absorbing all their attacks

meanwhile Shouta and Kumo are literally helping kindergartners to cross the street

look at this

it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone could possibly mistake this man for anything but a future teacher

even Kumo is commenting on how natural he is at working with kids

oH MY GOD the kids waved goodbye and said “bye Eraserhead” and it prompted a little smile

Kumo says Shouta psychs himself out and convinces himself he can’t do stuff, but really he can do just about anything if he puts his mind to it. aww. and he’s right!!

oh shit here comes the toad

so this toad’s name is Garvey, and he’s literally wanted for murder oh shit. and he has a Fatgum-like quirk that can absorb attacks and store them up to release them

and some idiots hit him with a combined attack that ended up powering him the fuck up. well shit

so Prince is placing a rose in between his teeth and getting ready to fight this toad off. do it I believe in you

now a lot is happening all at once, jesus. Shouta and Kumo were trying to evacuate the kids but then the toad just appeared right there like wtf, and then Prince also showed up out of nowhere and went to hit the thing with a flying jump kick

aaaand he’s getting blasted into a building

oof. and getting even further blasted now. welp

Kumo’s protecting the kiddos with his Nimbus quirk!

OH FUCKING SHIT AND THEN HE GOT CRACKED IN THE HEAD BY A GIANT FALLING ROCK

um

is this bitch fucking dead now. I can’t believe they fucking Obitoed my bro Shirakumo

so now the toad is looming over them, and Shouta realizes he’s the only one left standing, and all his doubts are filtering into his mind as he desperately tries to think of how to stop him

and Shirakumo’s... gourd... thing... is klunking in out of nowhere, and it has a little speaker on it, and it’s all “YOU GOT THIS AIZAWA” and wtf. this is like something out of a weird fever dream

OH SHIT BOYS AIZAWA SHOUTA DONE GOT HIS GAME FACE ON NOW

THE LONGBOTTOMING CONTINUES

so now he’s leaping fifty feet into the air, somehow, and thinking that his Erasure quirk will at least level the playing field. well all right then! you go boy

now it’s raining and of course bolts of lightning are dramatically hitting the ground all around them

Shouta’s kicking off the lil power toad lumps one by one lol

literally just jumping all around and kickin’ stuff

oof he took a bad hit. but he’s sitting back up!

Kumo’s disembodied gourd voice keeps shouting encouragement at him though, idk. so there’s that

he says Shouta’s strong and he won’t lose, and Shouta is all “RAHHHHHHH.” you guys, if 1-A ever found out about this flashback they would never let the man live it down. hell I’m not gonna let him live it down. okay then. Mr. RAHHHHHH

he’s doing some weird stuff with his capture weapon now. I think maybe he grabbed a rock with it and chucked it at the guy

and now the guy is shooting all his toad lumps at Shouta all at once! WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

yooooo Shouta literally grabbed them all with the capture weapon and he’s CHUCKIN’ EM ALL INTO THE DUDE’S MOUTH Y’ALL THIS IS SOME REAL FUCKING SHIT LMAO GET WRECKED

so the guy is blowing up from the inside out. yeah that’s what you get for murdering Shouta’s childhood friend you piece of shit

and Shouta’s collapsing in exhaustion but happily shouting “SHIRAKUMO I DID IT” before he passes out. oh my god don’t tell me Kumo is already dead and Shouta just hallucinated his voice or some shit. THEN WHO WAS GOURD omg

oooooof here we go

[places both hands on Shouta’s shoulders and looks him dead in the eye] son I don’t know how to tell you this, but Shirakumo has been dead for twenty years

wow can someone just fucking tell Shouta already so he stops depressing everyone and making an idiot out of himself. geez how long are you all gonna stand around despondently shooting knowing looks at each other in the rain

so they’re picking up the gourd speaker thing and OF COURSE it’s visibly broken and there’s no possible way Kumo’s voice could have been coming out of it. especially since he has been dead for twenty years. here’s a picture of his grave. oh shit what’s that little grave right next to his?? OH MY GOD IT’S THE CAT. OH MY GOD

oh fuck me

Y’ALL REALLY DID THESE BABIES LIKE THAT. HORIKOSHI!! FURUHASHI!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I WANT A WORD!!

so now Fire Hands, who is trying his best to be comforting but is just SO BAD AT IT, is all “Aizawa you went toe to toe with this thing and beat it YOURSELF!! ALL ALONE!!!” jesus christ I need a minute

OH DAMN A CALLBACK TO THE RAIN “THIS KINDA FITS OUR VIBE RIGHT NOW” LINE but now it’s saaaaaaaad oh no

I mean. I knew going in that this was going to be Aizawa’s sad childhood flashback about his friend Shirakumo whom something very terrible happened to. it’s not like I’m even surprised. I knew what I was getting myself into here. but damn that still hurts

do you guys think that having a permanent image of his best friend forever immortalized as a cheerful seventeen-year-old, and being forever haunted by the memory of that seventeen-year-old being cut down in the prime of his life, might have given Aizawa Shouta lasting trauma which carried over into his adulthood and makes him do desperately reckless things when children are at risk, such as leaping into battle against an army of villains all alone. dammit now I want to grab every single problem child of 1-A and shake them roughly and scream at them for all the sleepless nights they have doubtless caused this man

so now here he and Mic are both being sad

aww Mic. I’m sorry I keep wanting to punch you in the face. it’s just reflex

and now it’s one year later and the class is gearing up for the sports festival

well look who is almost fully done with his metamorphosis

you will soon be a beautiful butterfly

he is literally going to sleep in the middle of class. well depression makes people tired. sigh

he’s got his familiar goggles now! and he’s kicking FH’s ass and lecturing him on how to fight better. damn his character development is complete

and he’s helping FH to his feet aww. definitely boyfriends. this man gets around

his teachers now say that Shouta has gotten too complacent, if anything, and phones everything in once he knows he’s got a passing grade, and only gets passionate when it comes to practical exercises

and now we’re cutting to the gym and Shouta is indeed training passionately while Mic sits in the corner looking bummed. all these kids have been through far too much in their young lives

Shouta’s handing in his career aspiration form, and he wrote that he wants to start his own agency and focus on “fighting, and nothing else”

his scruffy facial hair is already starting to come in now. it’s true what they say, having a tragic past does indeed make you hotter

anyways but can we get this boy a hug!? anybody?? hello??!?

now they’re graduating and Shouta is disappearing in a poof of smoke and now there’s this big panel with flashbacks to his career up to the current point in Vigilantes!

and we’re back in the ~present~ and he’s telling Koichi to take good care of that cat. aaaand, I guess that’s that. geez. that was a lot

so there you go! the Aizawa flashbacks! they were very sad! all in all I really enjoyed them! so now, if Shirakumo isn’t actually dead (seeing as it’s a shounen manga that pays homage to comic books, so safe to say that People Not Actually Being Dead is a Certified Phenomenon, like it’s definitely a THING THAT CAN SOMETIMES HAPPEN), well then. tomorrow’s chapter is sure going to be interesting to say the least. lulz but maybe I’ve got it all wrong though. guess I’ll find out!

#bnha 253 #bnha vigilantes #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #shirakumo oboro #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha vigilantes spoilers #makeste reads bnha #makeste reads vigilantes #the real question is what the hell ever happened to this prince guy #I refuse to believe he just disappeared off the face of the earth #how is he not a top ten hero #probably because he got knocked out by the toad villain in like two seconds #and his sixteen-year-old intern had to save his fabulous behind #well hats off to a legend #wherever he is now

[muffinrecord]

Gacha Adventures: Arknights

One of my RL friends plays this, and I got a ton of messages saying I should try it and I did and... it was not for me. I didn’t like the military aesthetic-- I think I prefer more fantasy-esque designs, and the combat wasn’t for me. I think this is called a “Tower Defense” type of game? Also, why is everyone an animal. That’s weird. 

I’m gonna take this opportunity to rant real quick-- I reaaaaally don’t like it when the game tries to make you a character. For example, Fate makes you this “Master” character and you have dialogue options, which I first thought was kind of cool, but... each option is basically the same. In the first story there is this overseer chick and basically each option you get is really just you being rude to her. 

And, fair enough, lots of games will struggle with the illusion of choice. But don’t make it my character saying this. I wouldn’t do that. It really takes me out of the game. Arknights started to do this and the only thing I could do was keep pressing the “...” option cause fuck, I don’t want to say any of this crap.

It really made me appreciate the character of Small Kyubey, who basically doesn’t exist and whose dialogue options mean fuck all.

Another thing that left me wondering is WHY ARE ALL THESE STORIES SO BORING AS FUCK. Jesus christ. Magia Record’s tutorial is kind of long and annoying, but you know what? AT LEAST IT ISN’T BORING. It has a solid plot hook. You have some exposition but you don’t just get fed loads of it at a time.

Picking on Fate again, it starts out interesting but then just becomes exposition... exposition... and I don’t feel anything for the armor shield girl. She feels weirdly subservient but not like an actual character? Kaede is kind of uwu moe, but you also have Momoko who's like a big sister kind of character, and she’s sort of hot-headed yet loyal. She feels like a person!

The one gacha I’ve played that I’m actually sticking with is Food Fantasy, and I just have to skip the story for that one. I think what I like about that one is there is a ton of resource management which keeps my starving brain very engaged.

Anyways I have a few more suggestions to look at. I’ll have to keep trying them out! Honestly though I’d really kill for another magical girl gacha game. 

#Muffin Gacha Adventures #Long Post #Not MR

[love-fireflysong]

Day 24: Wedding

Fandom: Until Dawn  Character(s): Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley Words: 3349 Rating: Teen (kissing got *slightly* more heated then I intended. whoops. also language.)  Author’s Notes: If you thought that day 21′s story was fluffy oh boy do you have another thing coming. It’s not nearly as sappy (i dont think ill ever be able to write anything like that ever again), but it’s certainly up there!

It’s not that Ashley wasn’t having a good time, because she was! Surprising even her honestly. But it was all becoming a bit much. There was too many people pressed together, some dancing, some still sitting at their tables. The music was too loud and and leaving her head feeling muffled and heavy, and the people sitting at the table around her talking and laughing weren’t helping that matter either. It was even this weird combination of too dark and too bright for her eyes to handle, the open outside area under the canopy was pitch dark with night outside, but the bright spots of the lantern lights strung around the canopy had been making her eyes sting for a while.

Not to mention, it was just so hot in here. A combination of all the people pressed together in one area and the fact that it was a mid-August night, was making Ash feel like her skin was about to crawl away from her and just go die somewhere else. Preferably the pond located only a few minutes walk from the wedding site. Now, to be fair, a good part of her was aware that while this was all a lot for her to handle, the two or three glasses of wine she had had earlier certainly weren’t helping matters any. 

She just needed to leave. Not the entire area exactly, but get far enough away that she could sit down on one of the nearby benches and just take in some peace and quiet. Feel the air of the humid August night on her skin. Maybe actually take a swim in the aforementioned pond and cool off. Okay, no, she wasn’t actually going to do that. As tempting at the idea sounded (and boy oh boy was it tempting), she wasn’t nearly that drunk. So she stood up on shaky legs, excused herself from the table where she had been sitting with Chris and his parents (and a couple of cousins she had regrettably forgotten the names of already) and walked off.

She passed Chris’s cousin, Madeline, and her new wife on the way out, giving them both her congratulations once again, and assured them that she wasn’t going far, just to clear her head a little. The new wife, Rosalie, had nodded in understanding and pointed her towards a little area that she had always found perfect for getting away from the hecticness of life. Ash had thanked her profusely and headed off in the direction indicated, but not before Madeline had thanked her for coming (again) and mentioning how nice it was to finally meet her (again).

Ash returned the sentiments, and hurriedly left the too hot canopy in the direction Rosalie had indicated, finding the bench easily enough after only a couple of minutes. She could see why Rosalie had recommended it to her. It was close enough to the wedding party that it was still in sight, but far enough away that the sounds were more of a background noise that meshed well-enough with the more natural sounds of the park. It was even close enough to the pond that the light breeze carried some of it’s more cooling properties to her. 

She wasn’t sure if that just made her want to jump into the pond more or less now.

But all in all, surrounded by towering trees and blooming flowers, it was nice. It was private. And best of all, it was quiet. So Ash let out a sigh of relief and leaned back a bit to take a look at the night sky above her.

“There you are, Ash!”

She looked back towards the area where the canopy was and smiled at the sight of Chris making his way towards her. Sure, she had wanted some time on her own, but she could never refuse time with Chris. So she waved her hand up in greeting and when he got closer, patted the seat next to her in invitation. He sat down without any hesitation.

“You feeling okay? You were starting to look a little out of it there for a bit.”

Ash wasn’t surprised that Chris had caught that, but it didn’t make the butterflies in her stomach flutter any less. “Yeah, I’m okay. It was just starting to be a little too much at once, you know. Feeling much better now.”

The short bark of laughter that he let out was more akin to an exhale of breath. “Yeah, I feel ya. Sorry for making you come to this by the way. I know that these really aren’t your thing, not that they’re really mine either though.”

Ash rolled her eyes and bumped his shoulder with hers. ‘You didn’t make me come, you dip. You asked, and I said yes. I could have refused at any point and you wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“True. Shame that Josh wasn’t able to make it either though.” 

“He has that whole Cape Cod thing with his sisters every August. Nothing to be done about it.” She shrugged, and then couldn’t help the snort that came out. “We’d really have a party going on then, though.”

Chris nodded enthusiastically at her. “Oh man. Can you imagine? I mean it’s already pretty busy in there,” he stuck his thumb back towards the wedding party under the canopy, “but that would be tame compared to whatever Josh would turn it into.”

“Conga line for miles.”

“At least!”

The two of them broke out into unrestrained giggles, not helped at all by the wine that both had been drinking that night. Until finally Chris looked up at her and gave a bashful smile, and Ash was once again reminded how much the color of his dress shirt brought out his eyes. Not that she would ever tell him of course. Josh would have, would have teased her mercilessly about it in fact, but she wasn’t Josh. She wasn’t nearly that brave.

“I really, really do appreciate you coming with me to this, Ash.”

The smile she gave back was just as shy, and she bumped their shoulders together again. The conversation trailed off after that, but she didn’t mind too much. She thinks he doesn’t either. She likes sitting next to Chris like this, when things have gotten quiet and soft and it’s just them. 

After a few moments, she looks down towards her hands and notices how close his right hand is to her left. All she would have to do is reach out a little and she could wrap her pinky with his. She spends about five seconds debating on doing it, only to feel her face flush at the realization. Jesus Christ, maybe she’s more drunk then she thought.

“Can’t believe your cousin booked an entire botanical garden for the wedding.” 

“Huh? What?” Chris gives her a look of confusion, a little jarred from the sudden topic of conversation, but understands quickly enough. “Oh! Yeah, I think it was because of Rosalie actually. She loves flowers and plants and shit, studied it in college or something.”

“Horticulture.”

“Gesundheit.”

Ash rolls her eyes, but can’t help the fond smile. “It’s the study of plants, dork.”

“Hey, it’s not like I was able to shove a dictionary into my pocket or anything. I don’t even have pockets, Ash. Can you believe that? Had to leave my phone in my coat!”

She tries to disguise the laugh as long-sufferiing sigh, she really does! But she can tell she failed by the way his face lights up just a bit. “Oh no. No pockets. I wonder what that’s like,” she gestures dryly to the dress she’s wearing.

Chris laughs as he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Alright, alright. I get it. I’ll stop.” He gives her a curious look though. “Why’d you ask about the gardens though?”

Ash moves her hands so they’re clasped in her lap and looks down at the hole the toe of her shoe is digging into the dirt. “I don’t know,” she says finally. “I guess it just surprised me is all. Not exactly the location I’d choose myself.”

“Oh ho! So you’ve thought about what your wedding would be like Miss Brown?”

She looks up from her new project and into the look of exaggerated interest on Chris’s face. One hand is firmly clasping onto his glasses as he lays into her with an intense look. She gives a casual shrug and smile. “Once or twice.”

“Well you can’t just say that and expect me not to dig, Ash!” He moves placing his head into the palm of his hands as he balances his elbows on his knees, staring at her with wide-eyed interest. She can’t help the laugh that bubbles out. “So spill! Tell me everything.” 

“Oh man. Um, I guess I’ve always kind of imagined a backyard wedding?” She pauses to think it over for a moment before giving a quick jerk of her head. “No, it’s definitely going to be in a backyard. And with only close friends and family.”

Chris nods in understanding. “Small and private. Sounds like you.” He starts to swallow nervously and looks away for a second, and for the life of her she can’t understand why. “Got anyone you imagine it’s with?”

Ashley doesn’t respond, instead biting her lip and returning to look at the hole that has now expanded to twice it’s size. 

“Wait, are you serious?”

She’d like to think the shrug she gives is casual, but she knows it’s anything but.

“Holy shit. Oh, holy shit. You have a crush on someone?”

“I mean, it’s not that big of a deal—”

“Are you kidding me right now, Ash? Not a big deal? This is a huge deal! You have a crush on someone and you’ve never told me or Josh?!”

Ash just bites her lip harder, still refusing to look at Chris, knowing her face is probably as red as the wine they’d been drinking earlier. “Josh knows,” she mumbles out.

“Wait, so you told Josh, but you never told me?”

“I didn’t tell Josh, he just, sorta, well, guessed. Correctly.”

“Oh. I mean, I guess that tracks. He kinda sorta guessed mine too.”

“Wait.” She raises her head to look at Chris, only to see that he’s not actually looking at her, but off to the side where the pond is, scratching awkwardly at his jaw. “You have a crush on someone too? How have I not known about this?”

“Um, because I never told you?”

“Nuh uh. Not going to work. You’re completely terrible when it comes to keeping secrets. So spill. Who’s the person?” She doesn’t want to know. Her heart is already shattering as she speaks, but she needs to know. Know who this person is that managed to get Chris’s attention when she couldn’t after all these years.

“I’m not gonna tell you, Ash! Are you going to tell me yours?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Exactly!” She watches Chris stand up, limbs jerky as he clumsily makes his way to his feet. “So let’s just to back to the party and we’ll both forget that this conversation ever happened and—”

The words are out of her mouth before she knows it. “Let’s play a game.” And she wishes she could take them back almost immediately. Oh, she really was way more drunk then she thought. He was giving both of them an out, a chance to walk away and pretend that this conversation wasn’t happening and that they weren’t about to ruin their friendship. “Let’s play a game.”

Chris groans tiredly as he drags his hand over his face. “Ash, I’m not really in the mood for games right now. So let’s just go back—”

“Five questions.” She swallows nervously. Oh shit, she was going to ruin everything if she didn’t stop talking now! “We both ask each other five questions about who our crush is. Yes or no questions only."

“Just five questions? That’s it?” She nods and he sighs in what could be defeat, but he sits back down heavily next to her on the bench. “Fine. But just five questions, alright? Do you want to go first, or should I?”

Ash swallows and draws in a shaky breath for courage. “I’ll go. It was my idea in the first place.” She could do this. She could figure out who Chris liked. And then, when she was home and safe under her covers, she could cry her heart out later. “Do I know them?”

“Yeah.” The nod he gives is jerky. “Yeah, you know her pretty well actually.”

“Oh! So it’s a girl!”

The laugh Chris makes is a tight thing, but it’s a laugh nonetheless. “No fair! That doesn’t count.”

Ash’s smile is forced, but not as forced as it could have been. “Not my fault, you’re offering more information then you need to.” Okay, so that narrows it down to either Sam, Emily, Jessica, or Josh’s sisters. Except now she’s really confused to how in the world she missed this.

“Still not fair. Okay, um, do I know them?”

Ash shakes her head but she’s laughing. “Doesn’t count! You can’t ask me the same question I just asked you!”

“Wait, that wasn’t in the rules before! You are rigging this game to be in your favor, Ash!” The laugh that Chris makes is much more natural and it set’s her a little more at ease. She’ll be fine. She can do this! “Fine then,” she watches him hem and haw for a moment to find a question. “Do they make you laugh?”

“Yes.”

The sigh Chris gives then, is one in relief. “Good. You have a cute laugh, you deserve someone who brings it out of you.”

“Oh.” Never mind, she was wrong. She can’t do this. She absolutely cannot do this. “Um, okay. Have you known them long?”

“Yeah.” Narrowing it down even further to Beth, Hannah, or Sam. “Is this a recent development?”

“No, it's not. Have you ever asked them out?”

She’s a little surprised by how puzzled Chris looks at the question. “I mean, I haven’t asked them on a date or anything, I guess?” Hmm. She’ll narrow the question down a little bit more next time. “Do they like cookies?”

She can’t help the giggle that escapes. “What? I mean, yeah, of course they do. What kind of question is this?”

“I’m running out of idea’s Ash! You’re the brain person here, not me! I’m just the funny guy with the jokes!”

“And sometimes you can’t even pull that off.”

“Oh, ouch. Low blow.”

Ash is too busy still laughing, happy that things have finally gotten back to normal between them, that at first she doesn’t notice his reaction to her fourth question. “Did you ask her to be your plus one to the wedding?” And then she does, she’s noticed he’s stiffened right up in his seat and now refusing to look her in the eyes.

“Yeah, I did.”

Oh. Well now Ash hates whoever Chris asked. Why wouldn’t they want to come with him? He’s the funniest, nicest guy she knows and it doesn’t matter that Hannah and Beth are off vacationing in Cape Cod or that Sam has that work placement thing at that national park or—

Wait. She turns to stare at Chris in shock. There’s no way. There’s absolutely no way. But, it makes sense. Both she and Chris have known about the Washington’s Cape Cod trips in August for years now. And Sam had been so excited, she had been talking about her national park thing for months. So, that just left...

Her.

“Chris,” she manages to squeak out. “You still have two more questions.”

“No, I-I think I’m done playing now.” He starts to try and stand up again, but Ash has already reached for and grabbed onto his shirt sleeve to keep him there. 

“It’s just two more questions, and you can repeat all the questions I’ve already asked if you want. I don’t care. Just please, please don’t go yet.” She knows that she’s being desperate right now, but she doesn’t care. She has one more question, and if she’s wrong she’s never going to be able to recover. But she doesn’t care, she needs to know!

“Ash, I really don’t think—”

“Please!”

“Do I know them?”

“Yes! God yes! You know him, Chris! You see him everyday!” His eyes have widened behind his glasses, but Ash is already asking her question. “Did you ask anyone other than me to be your date this thing?”

If his eyes were wide before, they’re practically saucers now. “What? I don’t—”

“Answer the fucking question, Christopher!”

“No! I didn’t— I didn’t ask anyone else!”

Ash settles back down onto the bench, breathing far too heavily than is appropriate. There’s no way that this is actually happening to her right now. No way in hell. She’s going to wake up any moment in her bed and realize that this was all a dream. “You have one more question.” If she has any thoughts towards how absolutely breathless she sounds right now, she couldn’t care less.

“Ash, listen, I—”

Slowly, she shakes her head and watches his adam apple bob as he swallows. “Would-would you tell me who it is if I asked?”

She nods jerkily. “O-oh. Well then,” he licks his lips nervously, “who—”

She doesn’t give him any time to finish his question. Ash has already moved her hands so they’re gripping the front of his shirt and dragging him down so she can place a fierce, hard kiss on his lips. It’s over almost as quickly as it started though, and she pulls back to stare at a dazed Chris, looking for all the world like he had just been clubbed over the head.

“You,” she manages to gasp out. “It’s you, you idiot. It’s always been you.”

Anything she could have said is lost, as that’s when Chris’s brain finally kicked in again and he responded by twisting his hand into her hair and pulling her into another kiss just a searing as the first. Ash doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck to hold him closer as his free hand finds the center of her back and is now pushing her chest into his. She knows that he’s probably—definitely—making a mess of her hair, but when she starts whining into his mouth when the kiss deepens, she finds that she doesn’t give two flying fucks anymore.

The second kiss goes on for much, much longer then the first one. And the third longer than that, and on the forth she finds that they’ve shifted at some point so she’s 100% straddling his lap in her dress right now as they make out on the bench. By the fifth she doesn’t really care about that either. 

Eventually the two of them do manage to separate, and are pressing their foreheads together staring at the other in wide-eyed amazement. Ash giggles at the sight. The lipstick she had worn was now a mess all over Chris’s mouth, and she could already feel that her hair was an unsalvageable rat’s nest of hairspray and bobby pins. There is going to be no explaining this away. It’s pretty dang obvious what they had both been doing. She leaves a small kiss on the tip of his nose anyway, just because she can.

“You think that maybe your parent’s have started to worry about us? Think we should head back soon?”

Chris let’s out a low breathy laugh, his smile bright enough that if she wasn’t already flushed from their previous activities, she certainly would be now. “Honestly, Ash? I don’t give a shit about what everyone over there is doing right now.”

He leans in and gives her a much softer and more tender kiss then anything they had shared earlier. And as she sighs happily into it, she finds herself agreeing wholeheartedly. No matter what’s going on over there, she would much rather stay here with Chris. 

#pride month prompt challenge #my writing #until dawn #chris hartley #ashley brown #chrashley #holy shit this came out way longer then i intended #and hotter #whoops

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Dear Agony Just let go of me Suffer slowly Is this the way it's got to be? Don't bury me Faceless enemy I'm so sorry Is this the way it's gotta be? Dear Agony

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9hZFyoqp7Q

Amy and Shachath

The Angel of Death... I told ya’ll Amy has some weird friends XD Including supernatural beings, angels, demons, the freaking Anti-Christ and even Lilith herself... 

However, Amy is pretty chummy with Shachath as they talk often and Amy even shares a cup of tea with her at times. Which is touching, but it’s also... really sad when you think about it. But these two have a somewhat odd friendship/acquaintanceship due to being very familiar with one another and Shachath acts as something of a guardian angel for Amy, just like her daughter Mallory does. Aside from Shinsou, Shachath also understands Amy very much, noting that Amy hides her  feelings of worthlessness, sadness and pain with smiles and laughter as Shachath is almost always behind her in someway because of the pain she feels often.

And just to clarify... my good friend @ambroselaveau90 has the HC that Shachath is Mallory’s mother and I’m going with that cuz I like it~! <3 

Mallory acts as a guardian angel for Amy, and Shachath does the same because well... they’re angels! And they like her <3 

Shachath first appears to Amy during her childhood at Robichaux even after Cordelia is made the new Supreme as the girl began to feel empty and hollow after realizing that not only was she never going to see Shinsou again, but that she lost her parents, her dog, her sisters Madison, Misty and Nan, as well as her mother figures Fiona, Marie Laveau and Myrtle Snow and her good friend Luke. The losses hit her all suddenly as she suffered a mental breakdown, having witnessed so much death in so little time, which is what Shachath explained to her when she first arrived and she notes to the young girl that she was calling for her but Amy had no idea she was doing so. 

The Angel of Death then tells her that sometimes not everyone is aware that they are praying for the pain to end, and Amy confides in her that sometimes she does want the pain to end and Shachath does offer her a way to end the pain, a kiss of death. However, a fearful Amy apologizes and says that she’s not really ready for that, but Shachath is very understanding and tells her that should she ever feel anymore unbearable pain that she can always sing for her again and she’ll come to her. 

As Amy got older, Shachath still follows Amy because of the young witch’s singing as she notes that Amy tends to often sing for her. Although Shachath noted that while Amy did realize the entirety of what she lost, that she hadn’t processed it all and entered a heavy stage of denial until the Sports Festival when her Sentio Compassios was fully awakened. Only when Amy enters the anger stage of her grief is when Shachath feels compelled to go to her. As Amy realized that the pro-heroes abandoned her, she became distraught, confused, horrified, hurt and wild with rage and despair that it led her to going on a rampage on UA. An event that Shachath watched patiently, and she grew worried for the witch when Izuku got the upperhand and pinned her down. She was sympathetic when Amy confessed her feelings, only to get coldly rejected and breaking her heart.

The added pain of heartbreak put a lot of stress on Amy’s physical body, causing her to go into brief cardiac arrest as Shachath arrived and offered to give her the kiss of death to end it all. Amy was more than willing to be kissed because the pain was so great, but Shachath stops upon realizing the power within the witch, as well as the rage and contempt that kickstarted her power into regenerating her heart and kept her body from giving out. Shachath tells Amy that she wasn’t quite ready to go yet and had unfinished business to do. As instead of succumbing to despair, Amy became reinvigorated with a newfound scorn that allowed her to continue fighting Izuku and came close to killing him. Which is partially why Shachath stuck around as she wondered if it would have been Izuku who she would give the kiss of death too. 

In fact, another factor that allowed Amy to cease her attack was seeing Shachath flying beside Izuku, ready to give him the kiss since Amy came dangerously close to crushing him. Which horrified her when she realized how badly she was hurting him, and it allowed her to stop. Although it’s implied that this was a ploy by Shachath to prevent Amy from killing the boy to spare her from committing something she would regret and to save Izuku from a painful death. 

Afterwards, Shachath remained by Amy’s side as she quit UA and isolated herself in her mansion due to the anger, hatred, depression and despair she felt towards herself and her former teachers and classmates. Due to Amy’s fluctuating emotions ranging between anger, despair and mainly emotional pain, Shachath kept her company and stood by just in case Amy truly did want to end it all. Amy kept Shachath in mind and frequently spoke to her and turned to her for advice, especially when it came to forgiveness about herself, with Shachath comforting her and reassuring her each and every time, even telling her that love is painful but it only means that she is a human with a strong capacity to feel love for people. 

Although she also remained neutral about Amy’s choices, noting that whatever she chooses that Shachath will not judge her and would remain her friend no matter what she did. 

And as Amy prepares to go rescue her friends and her teacher during the War Arc, she asks the angel if she will stay with her since Amy secretly hoped that she would die during the rescue. Shachath kindly tells her that she will be by her side the entire time if she does want to die, but also gives her advice on how to beat Shigaraki.

Amy: You’ll be with me... right? I mean... Shigaraki’s really strong now... stronger than ever before... I’m not afraid. Honestly I’m not, I don’t even care if I come out of it alive or not, but... if he does manage to kill me... will you be there?

Shachath: Oh child... as long as you call for me, I will always be there. As I have said before... if you need me to. I will save you. 

In the present times, Amy and Shachath are still good friends, and while Amy has slowly gotten better overtime, Shachath still does come by every now and then due to Amy relapsing into her depression, including during her second year when she begins to doubt herself and spirals back into the verge of a breakdown. Shachath would be at her side and still give her the offer of the kiss of death, but since Amy gained more of a support system, the witch oncemore decline with Shachath being nothing  but understanding. As she was touched by Amy’s new friendships, especially her friendship with Ashlen, another person she had seen before and had been ‘sung’ for. 

However, Shachath did tell Amy that she wants to save her from her pain in the near future when death is inevitable. A sentiment that oddly touches Amy as she tells her that she wouldn’t want anyone else to steal her away from a painful death.

At one point Amy asks Shachath if she gets tired of waiting for her to make her decision, but because the Angel of Death has grown fond of Amy, she reassures her and tells her that she isn’t annoyed with her and is merely there to be a listening ear for her. A benevolent Grim Reaper, Shachath sometimes even offers advice to Amy and lets her vent about what is making her upset and listens to her without any judgement. Because Shachath gained an understanding towards Amy, she at times can also talk her out of death by reminding her of her friends and loved ones which often tends to make Amy reconsider.

However, like many a person suffering from depression, there are moments where Amy cannot see or think about her loved ones as she just wonders and contemplates suicide with Shachath almost always showing up during these moments.

I feel nothing anymore...

#shachath #ahs shachath #ahs #ahs coven #ahs asylum #american horror story #american horror story coven #ahs oc #ahs coven oc #amy martinez #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha #bnha oc #mha oc #boku no hero academia oc #my hero academia oc #witch girl #angel of

[dalamjisung]

think alike ✿ yang jeongin

genre: fluffiest fluff

word count: 2955

pairing: reader x yang jeongin

description: you had to watch over your little bother for a while, and you were scared you guys wouldn’t bond. Can his handsome teacher help?

“Mom,” You sighed one again gathering all the thrown colorful pens around the living room. “I know how to care of him. It’s okay, just enjoy your vacation and I’ll make sure Felix is still alive by the time you come back.”

“Y/N!” You mother gasps. “He is just four!”

“I know,” You chuckle. “I was there when he popped out, and I’m still here as he grows. Mom, I can take care of my little brother, it’s fine!”

“I want daily pictures as proof that he’s still breathing!” She shouts from the other side of the line. “Daily!”

“Deal,” You say, looking around the, now clean, living room. “Now go have fun. Bye! Love ya!”

“Love you too, honey. Thank you for this!” She exclaims and then the line is dead. 

You laughed at how adorably worried your mother was. Felix was the newest addition to the family, coming as a surprise to everyone, but he was one of the loveliest kids you’ve ever seen. And you really did not vibe with kids, hence why your mother was so hesitant to call you over to take care of him. She knows about your uncomfortableness around kids, and tried every single other family member before she called you. You were thankful for that, but you were also kind of happy to spend more time with your bother. 

Felix was born during your freshman year of college, and now, four months away from graduation, you finally had a chance to bond with your brother. You had a bunch of pictures of him on apartment on campus, but you guys never really had the time to hang out and do siblings stuff, such as go to the park, or get ice cream, or even watch a Disney movie together. You had that with your eldest brother, and those memories were the ones you cherished the most– you wanted to give Felix that same feeling… of being loved. 

“Noona,” You hear a voice calling from the kitchen. He was still shy around you, and it honestly made your heart tighten on your chest. “I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” You smile and slowly walk closer to him. “What do you want for dinner?”

His little brown eyes shine with happiness. “Rice cakes! Lots of rice cakes!”

And who were you to say no to him? The only problem was that you were as bad in the kitchen as you were with kids, so you sheepishly look at him and tell him to go grab his jacket. 

“Why?” He asks.

“We’re going to get the best rice cakes ever,” You say crouching down. “But we have to go out to get them.”

You remember when your parents would take you to the night market, and you thought Felix might enjoy it too. He nods his head rapidly and bolts up the stairs, making you worry he might fall. Aish, I’m almost like my mom, you think laughing to yourself. Be the cool noona, Y/N, not the helicopter mom. 

“I am ready!” He exclaims and you coo at how cute he looked with a beanie and his puffy orange jacket. “Let’s go, noona! Rice cakes!”

“Let’s go!” You say grabbing the car keys, and the his tiny hand. 

This would be fun. You’d make it fun.

————————

Turns out fun for you and fun for Felix are two different things. For you, it was a nice hang out time with your little brother where you had great childhood memories, eating tteokbokki, and drinking warm tea. Felix, on the other hand, was a kid, and he definitely didn’t want to sit down and drink warm tea. He ran around the place, saying hi to every single vendor, learning that cute eyes and polite ‘hellos’ got him free samples from each and every single one stand. 

His energy, seemingly never ending, was exhausting to you. Your good humor was dissipating slowly as you ran after him. You promised your mom he’d be alive in a week, and you’d be damned if you failed your mission. 

He was now out of sight, and you were freaking out. You couldn’t find him in the sea of people, and you hoped for a miracle to fall from the skies. Safe to say it didn’t quite fall from the skies, but more like it came out from behind the japchae stand. A boy, probably around your age, holding Felix close and mumbling things as they walked. Felix had a serious look, eyes wondering up to every single passerby, and you could’ve cried in relief as he pointed at you and shouted “Noona!”

You run to them, and look at your brother seriously. “Felix! You can’t run around like that, I was worried!”

“Sorry, Y/N noona…” He mumbled looking at his feet. 

“Don’t do it again, Lix,” You say and he comes to hug your legs, hiding behind them, and curiously looking up to the man watching you both with a smile.

“I’m glad we found you,” The man says, offering you his hand. “I’m Yang Jeongin. I found this little cutie wondering alone, and got pretty worried.”

“Thank you so much, Jeongin,” You smile shyly. “I’m Lee Y/N, his older sister. It’s the first time I’m taking care of him and I’m not really good with kids so…”

“Oh, everyone is good with kids,” He laughs. “You just have to think alike.”

And you laugh because that sounds absurd. How could you think like a child? You were almost graduating for christ’s sake!

“I know it sounds weird,” He says lowering himself to look at Felix. From the pockets of his jacket, he pulls a lollipop, and your brother’s eyes shine, hands instantly grabbing the man’s sleeves. “But they are easy to deal with if you make sense to them. Adults usually don’t make sense to kids, so if you think like them, they’ll think like you.”

“Wow,” You mumbled. “You have a lot of little brothers?”

“About a classroom of them,” He laughs. “I’m a pre-school teacher.”

“Oh that sounds… fun.” You say hoping you managed to hide your shock behind a smile.

“Liar,” Jeongin teases with squinting eyes. “You don’t like kids?”

“What?!” Felix exclaims from behind you, looking at you accusingly. 

Grabbing him and holding him up on your lap, you poke his nose. “I’m not really good with them, but I like this one very much.”

“Cute,” You hear Jeongin mumble, and then someone screams his name. “Oh, I have to go. It was nice talking to you, keep an eye on this one, he is very hyper.”

“I will,” You shout after him. “Thank you again!”

As he leaves, you couldn’t help but smile. There really were good people out there. 

————————

“Wake up, Y/N noona, wake up!” 

The voice is cute and soft, but the feet that padded on your back and the tiny body jumping on you was anything but adorable. You wanted to lay in bed forever, but unfortunately, today was Felix’s first day of pre-school, and you had to get him dressed and fed in time to make it there before 8AM. 

“Hi bubs,” You mumble, sitting up. “I’m up. I’m awake.”

“Can you make pancakes?” He asks and you nod. You realize you’re bribing the kid’s love with food, but there is nothing much you can do besides that; you were afraid you wouldn’t bond with him, so giving him the world seemed fair enough. 

“Yeah yeah,” You say getting up. “Let’s go.”

Somehow you manage it. The pancakes don’t burn thanks to the detailed tutorial on YouTube, he manages to dress himself properly only messing up the t-shirt once, and you guys are out the door with enough time to walk to the school. You notice so many things about Felix on the way and you cannot help but feel all warm inside. He liked cats and dogs, although he tended to carefully approach the latter; Felix would be easily enticed by butterflies and other insects, stopping on the way to watch them. His never ending energy seemed to be at its peak during the walk, and he’d run off before you, stop at a crosswalk, and wait for you to catch up patiently. He liked holding hands, even though he could barely reach yours. He liked dancing, a lot, and would always be doing a weird dance when food arrived. You took a special liking to that last fact. Once you reached the gates of the pre-school, you walked him in, confused as to where you were supposed to take him. You looked at the lists on the announcement wall and tried to find Felix’s name, but there were way too many Lee’s in that place. 

“Excuse me,” Someone calls from behind you. “I think I can help.”

“Oh! Thank you, that’d be gre-“ You turn around with a large smile and stop mid-sentence when you see him– Yang Jeongin. “You again!”

“Me again,” He chuckles and looks at Felix, who in his turn, was looking curiously around him. Everything was colorful and pretty. “Hi buddy. Do you remember me?”

Felix looks at you and you nod softly, giving him the confidence to step forward and nod harshly. 

“Great,” Jeongin smiles and a pretty smile that has your legs weak. “Can you tell me how old are you?”

“I’m four.” Felix says, raising four chubby fingers. 

“That’s so cool, Felix,” and oh my god, he remembered Felix’s name. “That means I’m your teacher!”

“What?” You ask surprised. You had completely forgotten about his job. 

“I told you, I’m a pre-school teacher,” He shrugs and smiles again. “Did you forget already? Wow…”

“No!” You exclaim a little too loudly. Embarrassed, you laugh awkwardly. “I just think this is such a–“

“Coincidence?” He nods his head, still freaking smiling. “Tell me about it! When I saw you two I thought I was being followed.”

You laugh and sake your head. “At least Felix will be more comfortable in the classroom, now that he knows his teacher…” 

“I’m glad,” Jeongin says putting his hands in his pockets. “This is only the second classroom I’m in charge of… ever.”

“Really?” You widen your eyes. He really did look young; young like you. 

“Yeah, I graduated last year!” He blushes a little. “Are you still in college?”

“Senior year,” You say making a face. “A few months away from graduation.”

“What are you study-“ and a shrill bell cuts him off. Time to go, you thought, and you feel a little sad. “Class time…”

“I figured,” You say and starts slowly walking away. “I’ll be back to get him later.”

“Wait!” Jeongin shouts and he walks to you in two long strides. “He’s not your kid, right?”

“What?” You laugh, surprised with the question. “No, Felix is my little brother. He calls me ‘noona,’ Jeongin!”

“I just needed to make sure!” He defends himself, hands going into his back pocket.

“Why?” You mumble, a little skeptical. 

“So I can ask for your number, obviously,” He smirks and gives you his phone. 

You chuckle and takes it from him. “Obviously.”

————————

It happens quickly, and in two days you guys have your first date. You are not quite sure why Jeongin felt like he was in a hurry, but you had a feeling that it had to do with Felix. Once you were ready, you called for your brother and made sure to properly protect him from the cold outside. You read on the weather report that there was a high chance for snow tonight, and the last thing you wanted was for Felix to get sick. 

“… and then teacher Jeongin let us color for the rest of the class because we were doing a good job!” He rambled on and on about his classes so far. “I did one for you, noona!”

“You did?” You were honestly surprised at this point. It was clear that Felix had gotten comfortable with you, but having him making a drawing for you was something that really filled you with pride. “Thank you, Lix!”

He beams his cute smile at you and you can’t help but crouch down and hug him. “Come on, big boy, I’ll give you a piggy back ride.”

You guys laugh and talk about his new friends during the walk and you feel happy like you haven’t in a while. It’s hard to admit when you’re struggling, but college was taking a toll on you. The stress was consuming you whole and just thinking about graduation made you anxious. You didn’t really know what to do, but for the past couple of days you haven’t thought about that at all. You haven’t felt the constricting feeling of anxiety or the tired restlessness of insomnia, and you had a feeling that your brother was the reason why. Just last night, he crawled into your bed in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream, and you only noticed it in the morning, when you tried to move, but he was hugging your arm so tightly that you couldn’t. 

“Y/N! Felix!” You turn your head to look at Jeongin. He looked incredible, and he was only wearing a hoodie and some jeans. Thinking about it, this was the first time you saw him look his age; young and carefree. He was standing at the entrance of the night market, where you guys first met, and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“Put me down, noona!” Felix asked and you did, watching him run to his teacher. “Hi teacher Jeongin!”

“Hey buddy,” and they high five. “Hey Y/N.”

You blush. “Hello.”

He chuckles and whispers a ‘cute’ under his breath, making you blush even more, and takes your hand. “Let’s go!” 

With his other hand, he is holding Felix’s, and sometimes he lets go, allowing the kid to run around, but then calling him back, and surprisingly, he’d come. You guys had a fun time on the date; you ate delicious food and laughed at Felix’s antics with the food stands yet again. The talk was overall shallow, such as school, aspirations, funny stories. It wasn’t until he gave the idea to go to a playground, that you guys had time to yourselves. As Felix played, hopefully tiring him out enough so that once bedtime came he’d be worn out, you two watched him from the bench a few meters away. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks and you think that that is the first time someone asked you that. “With kids, I mean. How are you feeling taking care of Felix?”

“Honestly?” You ask and he nods. “I was terrified at first. Felix and I haven’t had the chance to bond before this, so I was scared he’d hate me. But now… I don’t think I’ve ever been this calm and exhausted before.” You guys laugh.

“It’s rewarding,” He shrugs. “I obviously love kids, but I feel that there’s more to it. Watching them draw and play and learn, it’s very rewarding.” 

You hum in accordance. “It really must feel great knowing you’re making a change on their lives…”

“It is,” He says and reaches for something on the pocket of his coat. “And you can feel that too.”

He gives you a folded paper, with that one smile in his face– the one he had when he looked at the kids in his class. A caring smile. 

You unfold it, and you smile wide. It was a drawing of what you assumed it was you and Felix. They were stick figures with block-like clothing, but it was so beautiful. On top, it was written with careful, badly drawn letters: ‘Noona and I.’

“He talks about you a lot,” Jeongin says, scooting closer to you, shamelessly grabbing you hand again, and putting it inside of his own jacket pocket. “His older noona. He said you’re really smart and fun and pretty.”

“Did he?” You whisper, happiness overflowing.

“He did,” Jeongin turns his head at you. “And I agree. His older noona really is pretty and fun. I don’t know about smart though…”

“Ya!” You laugh, hitting him with you free hand. You carefully put the drawing on your purse, making sure to take a mental not to frame it later. 

“He said he is sad that his mom is coming back, because it means you’ll be gone,” Jeongin mumbles. “And I guess I’m sad too…”

“Jeongin…” You giggle. “My college is just thirty minutes away from here.”

“Really?!” He exclaims so loud that you jump a little. 

“Yeah,” You say laying your head on his shoulder. “We can see each other a lot, still.”

“I’m glad.”  And his face starts getting closer and closer, until a small hand comes in between you two.

“No kissing my noona, teacher Jeongin.” Felix demands with a serious face. 

You burst out laughing, placing Felix on your lap. 

“But I really like her,” Jeongin fake whispers to him. 

“Really really?” Felix whispers back, and you can’t help yourself. You grab your phone and take a picture of this moment; Felix and Jeongin discussing the future of your possible relationship. “But does noona likes you back?”

And they look at you. “I really like him, too,” You whisper to your brother. 

“Then you guys can date!” He shouts, clapping his little hands. 

“That’s a great idea, Felix!” Jeongin laughs and then looks at you, waiting for a response.

“It really is,” You say and you are just so soft for these two. 

“But still,” Felix says. “No kissing my noona.”

“Why?” Jeongin asks.

“My dad says so.”

And you are pretty sure you choked on air. 

#skz #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids imagines #kim woojin #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #imagines #one shot #stay

[camillemontespan]

mind over matter [interview with drake walker]

I am rolling about laughing at my attempt to make a magazine cover for Drake. God bless Hugh Jackman as a body claim. Bahahaha. 

On a serious note, this covers mental health. I’m not sure how many of my followers suffer from anxiety, depression and everything in between, but I was thinking about writing something different about Drake and it occurred to me that yeah, maybe he could have suffered from depression at some stage in his life. 

This piece is inspired by a time when I was with my male friends, we had been drinking and they all got really emotional and started talking about how they were actually feeling and Jesus Christ I didn’t realise how sad they all were. Because they don’t talk about it normally.  It took alcohol to get them to open up. So, this has shaped this ‘interview’ with Drake.  Just something a bit different.  This is part serious, part fluff. 

@pug-bitch @jovialyouthmusic @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot  @drakesensworld @iplaydrake @dcbbw @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @ifyouseekheart @carabeth @notoriouscs 

******************************************************************************************

I am sat outside overlooking the mountains of Valtoria, waiting patiently for the Duke of Valtoria to arrive. I've managed to secure an interview with the notoriously private Drake Walker and honestly, I have no idea what to expect. He often looks serious in paparazzi pictures. He's been known to grumble and not exactly offer a winning smile. I've heard he is fiercely protective of his wife and their daughter and I have also heard that he hates the press. Great news for me.

'Hey there!'

I look around and see the man himself coming out onto the terrace holding two glasses of water. He hands me one and settles down opposite me. 'Sorry for the delay, I was trying to settle Lily down to watch a Disney film.'

He looks.. happy. Smiley. He has a kind face which is a complete contrast to the paparazzi shots that everyone is used to. Drake Walker  is wearing jeans, a red Henley shirt and brown boots.  Broad shouldered, with a wide chest span and veins that stick out of his arms, he is rugged and handsome, which I think is the reason why so many nobles and commoners alike were laughing when he was named the new Duke of Valtoria. He doesn’t look like a typical Duke but I get the feeling that suits him just fine. 

I'm here interviewing him today because he has launched a campaign to promote men's mental heath, which has been named Mind Over Matter. When he first announced the campaign, which centers around men in Cordonia meeting up - Drake included - to go trekking up mountains, kayaking, abseiling, it was dismissed as just an excuse for men to get outdoors and away from family life - Cordonia is very traditional and some might say stuck in the past with emphasis on family and structure, but with King Liam and the Duke of Valtoria at the helm, its becoming thoroughly more modern. That includes encouraging men with depression, anxiety and all mental health issues in between, to get together.

'It's a safe space for men to open up while still enjoying themselves. It's not like therapy where you're stuck in a room talking for 60 minutes about feelings. This is different. While we are trekking up mountains, we talk openly. You forget that it's therapy. It's very freeing. Anyone can sign up and it pushes you to confront your emotions. When you abseil down a cliff side, you feel such adrenaline, like you can do anything. You have to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge.  It’s a symbol and also literally what we do. It's mind over matter.'

The press have wondered what Drake actually knows about mental health. He sighs, clearly used to this question. 'I had depression when I was younger,' he says. 'My dad had died, my sister left, my mother abandoned me and I was left in the palace with no actual role or identity. I was only known as the prince's friend and honestly I felt I had lost who I was. I had no family and I felt very, very alone. I built up these walls and never let anyone in. I tried to protect myself in the worst way.'

I ask how he got out of it. He smiles sadly. 'I still have my dark days,' he admits. 'days where I think I don't deserve this life, this role, this family. I used to rely on whiskey, I used it as a crutch.  I still drink whiskey but definitley not at the rate I was drinking it two years ago. Anytime I felt a hint of doubt or anxiety, I would block it out with drink. It was a dark period. I'm better now but I do still struggle. I try my best to pull myself back from that, you know? I have to. I have to for my girls.'

His girls are his wife, Duchess Camille, and their four year old daughter Lily. He married Camille, a New Yorker, four years ago and their daughter followed soon after. The Duke and Duchess have proven to be a breath of fresh air for Valtoria, in that they host an Open House every month for their citizens to meet them to discuss issues. They are young and eager to make a difference, which is in stark contrast to other dukes and duchesses who don't seem to do much for their duchies.

I ask if Camille has helped him with his mental health. 'Definitely,' he answers instantly. 'It's weird, on paper, we shouldn't work as a couple. I can be grumpy, pessimistic, sometimes even rude. A dark cloud on the horizon. But she is all sunshine and positivity. God, the amount of times she's been talking to her girlfriends who are having a crisis and she's like, 'Right come to mine, I’ll get the bottle of wine and we'll just unpack everything you're feeling and talk.' Everyone needs a person like Camille in their corner. I'm lucky I have the genuine article.'

Does she encourage you to talk? 'All the time. She broke down my walls and if she sees me going to a dark place, she tells me she is there and I end up just telling her everything. She's really supportive.'

Has family life changed him? 'Definitely,' he answers, blushing. 'I didn't realise how overprotective I can be. I never visualised myself ever sat down with a child - my own child - watching Peppa Pig but hey, it happened. I know all the kids TV shows now, I know the theme songs. Baby Shark literally plays in my head when I’m trying to get to sleep, its so annoying.. '

Drake is notorious for being overprotective. He went to court to ask for a restraining order against the press when Camille was pregnant, as they kept hounding her. He has ensured that paparazzi are not allowed within 8 feet of his daughter, after photographs emerged of Lily playing in the playground. 'That was a complete violation of her privacy,' he says quietly. 'I was sick to my stomach when those pictures were published. We're trying to bring Lily up as normally as possible and when she sees herself on the front of newspapers, she does get confused because she isn't aware of how well known she is.' He sued the newspaper who printed the images and now if the family are photographed in public, pixels are placed over Lily's face.

Basically, you don't mess with family man Drake Walker.

'I like to think most fathers in my position would do that,' he tells me. 'There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect my family.'

We are interrupted by a small, dark haired girl with big brown eyes. It's Lily. She is wearing a pretty red summer dress embroidered with flowers. 'Daddy, I miss you,' she says quietly.

Drake chuckles. 'Do you mind?' he asks me. I smile and watch as Drake lifts her up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head.

I bring the conversation back to his campaign. 'The King is involved, as is his brother. Leo loves outdoor things, he's been travelling everywhere. Give him a mountain to climb and he'll happily do it.' Drake is grinning now, his eyes lit up. Lily snuggles into her father and looks at me warily with those big eyes. She is very delicate and pretty, I must say.

I ask if he has raised money for the campaign so far. He nods enthusiastically. 'So far, 2000 euro and the campaign was only announced last week. Many people have donated and the money is going to be split and given to Cordonian charities who advocate mental health support. You can donate when you see what events we have planned. We’re planning to vlog the things we do, not everything, but say if we’re going to go kayaking, we’ll vlog it on the official website and people can watch and donate. It's a big deal.'

I suggest he creates his own charity. Drake smiles. 'Maybe in the future - ow, Lily, did you just bite me?'

He looks down at Lily who is smirking. She actually has his smirk. Drake holds out his thumb to me. 'My daughter bit me for no reason!'

He nudges her playfully then says seriously, 'What have I told you before?'

Lily sighs. 'Biting is bad..'

'Thank you. Let's remember that from now on, shall we?'

He still pulls her in close and gives her a hug. It's obvious he is wrapped around her little finger.

'Who's the bad cop and good cop between you and Camille?' I ask him, gesturing to Lily. Drake laughs. 'Camille is 100% bad cop. Poor woman. She's so lovely but she always adopts the bad cop role. She complains about why she always ends up as the bad cop and I tell her, ‘Babe, you actively put yourself into that role!’ I'm the good cop. I'm a cool fun dad, huh Lily?'

Lily giggles. Drake winks at me. 'She definitely agrees.' I melt.

'I do tell her off though,' Drake continues. 'I don't want her to be a brat. No, if she does something wrong, I will pull her up on it. It's just Camille is the one who tends to take away Peppa Pig privileges.'

'How do you maintain a normal family life when you've got this world of titles and nobility?'

Drake considers the question. 'You just have to stay grounded and remember where you came from. I think everyone assumed that as soon as Camille and I were made Duke and Duchess, we would become tyrants! No way in hell was that gonna happen,' he chuckles. 'Honestly, we're pretty chill. We have a small household of staff and we have assistants to help with our diaries, but really, we do try our best to just be Drake and Camille. We treat it like a working day. So from 9-5, we're noble, we’re the Duke and Duchess of Valtora. From 5pm onwards, we are ourselves. Camille gets changed out of her usual Duchess outfits and into jeans and an oversized sweater. If the cook has made dinner, she leaves it in the kitchen for us to help ourselves. We are very self sufficient though, I hate the fact we actually have a cook but sometimes it gets so hectic, you need that sort of privilege. In the evening, Camille and I sit out on our balcony, me with a glass of whiskey, Camille with a glass of sauvignon blanc, and we just laugh and talk.'

Do you do normal couple things, I ask. He stares at me, dumbfounded. ‘Well, yeah. We’re a normal couple, of course we do!’ 

I can’t visualise them on date nights or watching box sets. Drake laughs, a deep hearty laugh that is so unexpected. ‘Oh god, we love a box set. We’re re-watching Stranger Things at the moment before the new series starts again.’

‘You watch Stranger Things!’ I exclaim and Drake nods. ‘Yeah! We love that show! Camille adores Will, he’s like her TV baby.. ‘ I try to imagine the two of them sat on the sofa watching the show. It’s hard to see.  Drake continues.  ‘It’s hard to watch anything during the day though, Lily commands the TV when she’s home from nursery. She’s obsessed with The Greatest Showman right now, constantly sings the songs and has the album on repeat. She wants to have her own circus.’

He looks down at Lily and his face softens. 'We want to be normal parents for Lily. We don't have nannies, we are not going to send her to a boarding school when she's older and she was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Yeah, she was born into privilege but I really want her to grow up aware of the world. You see so many kids who think chauffeur driven cars and fancy houses are the norm. I want her to be a child first, daughter of a Duke and Duchess second.'

Drake is originally from Texas while Camille is New York born and bred. Do the family visit the States often? Drake nods. 'We've got a brownstone in New York and we see my mom every summer. Texas is really important to us.'

Drake and Camille got married at the Walker ranch in Texas and although the press wasn't allowed, a photograph was released, with Drake and Camille's permission. It showed the newlyweds at their first dance and Drake has dipped Camille down near the floor and kissing her. It's a candid, beautiful moment that was caught on camera forever and published on the front page of The Valtorian Herald. 'We allowed that photo to be released because we wanted our duchy to see us as actual humans, not these stuffy nobles. It was kind of like an introduction to us.'

It is clear that Drake isn't comfortable with being a Duke. Not that he doesn't like the role, he stresses, 'with my position, I can use my platform to reach out to people about things that matter and they will listen,' but the fancy title and the trappings that come with that don't seem to sit right with him. I've interviewed many dukes in the past who show me their yachts and horses, keen to show a life that I could only dream of. Drake doesn't do that. ' I'm not materialistic in the slightest,' he admits. 'I would be happy living in a cabin in the woods with my wife and daughter if given the chance. Hell, maybe one day..'

His wishful thinking could come across as ungrateful, except the way his eyes light up when he talks about living in cabins and being outdoors actually makes you smile. He may be a Duke by name but underneath, he is still Drake Walker.

I ask him where Camille is today. He smiles proudly at the mention of her name. 'She's visiting the children's hospital this morning. She adores children, honestly.'

I joke that maybe she is planning to add to their small family. Drake smiles bashfully and holds Lily a little closer. 'She wants a whole brood,' he says. 'Maybe soon, who knows..'

He looks like he's gone into a daydream so I clear my throat to bring him back to earth. He turns red and runs a hand through his hair. 'Sorry!'

Lily clambers off his lap, repeating the word 'cookie...' Drake stops her. 'Have you finished your breakfast?'

She nods. Drake raises an eyebrow before saying, 'Fine.' Lily beams and runs back into the manor. I ask Drake if the King will be climbing mountains for the mental health campaign. Drake nods, amused. 

‘All the guys I know are getting involved. I've even got the Beaumont brothers taking part. Maxwell has told me he's packing every kind of snack he can fit into his rucksack and Bertrand.. Oh god, Bertrand.. I imagine he will be like an army captain shouting orders and telling us we've had enough rest. Or, he will be a baby and crawl up the mountain.  There will be no in between with Betrand. Leo and I have a bet on to see how long he lasts.' He chuckles, showing he's just teasing the Duke of Ramsford.

They are a close knit group. Many paparazzi shots have been taken of Camille and her friend Hana Lee walking down the street grabbing coffee to go. Maxwell Beaumont has an Instagram account which boasts 1 million followers, which shows images of his everyday life - Drake and Camille are rarely in his photos as the couple are so private, but Maxwell does occasionally post photos of Drake and Camille when they are attending royal events, captioning them with descriptions such as 'I LOVE Camille's dress here!' or, the photo that went viral a year ago showing Camille talking to the King and Drake was just looking at her with a dopey smile on his face. Maxwell captioned it, 'THE FEEEEEEELS!!' and the photo was posted everywhere. Drake groans. 'It trended on Twitter. It became a meme. Memes saying: Find a guy who looks at you like Drake looks at Camille.' Camille was laughing so much, she thought it was sweet.'

I assume Drake doesn't like to show off his tender side. He stiffens and bites his lip. 'I only really show that side of myself to my wife. That's what I need to work on and try keep my walls down. That's why I need this mental health campaign too, to show me its also okay to be open and it's okay to talk about feelings. Men are taught that they have to be macho all the time and it's unhealthy. It needs to change and men need to talk about how they feel otherwise they will feel alone and that's why suicide rates in young men are so high at the moment. I hope I can change this and also learn from it myself.’ 

We are interrupted by the appearance of Lily again. She comes out onto the terrace holding out three cookies. She hands me one shyly then gives one to Drake, before climbing back onto his lap. Drake grins at me. 

‘See, my daughter may bite people but at least she’s got manners and gifts you cookies.’ 

He brings her into a bear hug and I decide to wrap up the interview there. He stands up to give me a hug and I try my best not  to inhale his woody, masculine smell. He walks me back to my car. ‘Thank you for interviewing me,’ he says. ‘I don’t usually have interviews but since Mind Over Matter was launched, I want to get it out there. So thanks.’ He shoots me a bashful smile and waves me off as I pull away from the drive. 

As this issue goes to print, Drake has raised a further 4000 euro and the group of men signed up to the campaign has doubled in size. Maxwell Beaumont videos the group as they hike up mountains, kayak down rivers, abseil and build campfires. Drake is in the middle of it all, getting stuck in and talking about his mental health. He looks at peace and you can tell he is in his element. This is the Duke of Valtoria but more importantly, this is Drake Walker. 

#drake walker #the royal romance

[helenarlett-rex]

Goosebumps Review #9

Wow... After reading the last two crap books, it’s nice to find a good one again. Let’s just get right into this.

(Spoilers... as always...)

The Werewolf of Fever Swamp

Goosebumps (original series) #14

Yeah, so... I’ve heard people complain before about this book being slow. And I guess when you are writing pulp horror for children, you need to keep up with the shorter attention span of your audience... But honestly, I think it’s a good thing that this book was slow. Or rather, instead of calling it slow, let’s call it a slow burn instead. Because the book isn’t slow as in it’s boring. It wasn’t boring at all... It was slow in that it takes its time setting up the story and bringing you to its ultimate conclusion. But I felt that it was worth it. It was very atmospheric and managed to craft a story where you are never quite sure who the werewolf is right up until the very end.

The very end is the only time you actually see the werewolf, but that was fine too. The werewolf didn’t need to be the centerpiece of the story. Fever Swamp and all the weird mysteries it holds was the real centerpiece of the story. In fact, you could have just shortened this book’s title down to just “Fever Swamp” and it would have been perfect. And now that I’m thinking about it... why did this book not get any sequels? Of all the many mysteries Fever Swamp holds that are shown to us over the course of this book, the only one we actually solve is who the werewolf is. But there at the very least three, maybe four other mysteries in this book we never got answers too. How come something as awful as Monster Blood got four books in the original series and this only got one? You could have very easily made Fever Swamp into a full series... Solving one of the various mysteries each book. The werewolf was really only the start of the story. This was like... a pilot episode for some kind of Eerie Indiana/Gravity Falls type series set in the swamps of Florida. Hell... I’m already pondering fan-fiction. If Stine isn’t going to give me the rest of the story I may just do it myself.

But anyways, moving on... The story centers on a boy named Grady, who’s family moves to Florida right during Shark Week. That detail has nothing to do with the story, but the book does make it a point of mentioning that they were watching Shark Week on TV during the first week. I’m just drawing attention to it because, Florida... and Shark Week? This book was written for me!

Lesser known fact. I grew up in Florida. I lived in a coastal town, nowhere near the swamps, which is where Grady’s family moved to... but the book still sounded very reminiscent of my childhood home. I had acres and acres of woods behind my house the same way Grady has acres and acres of swamp behind his house.

But anyways, Grady moves with his parents, who are both scientists, and his sister, Emily, who starts out as an okay character for the first few chapters, before Stine realizes he doesn’t want to use her as a main character, and then she becomes one of the worst, most annoying side characters I’ve ever seen. After chapter 7 her character is reduced to just an annoying sister who sits in front of the TV all day and makes snotty comments from the other room. It’s like, Jesus Christ, girl... Your brother got attacked by a wild animal in the swamp was was brought back to the house unconscious, and all you can say is, “It was probably a squirrel”? The fuck is wrong with you?

But I have to ask that question about Grady’s parents too. So... The reason they moved to Florida, and pulled their kids away from their home and their school and their friends, is because Grady’s dad just got his hands on some South American Swamp Deer, and he wants to release them into the swamps of Florida to... see if they will survive... And suddenly I’m wondering, what kind of scientist are you?

First of all... South American Swamp Deer? I’m not even a scientist, like this guy is claiming to be, and I can tell you that there’s no such thing. Did you mean South American Marsh Deer by any chance? That’s a thing... A threatened thing that is close to being endangered... Who gave you six of these things just so you could take them to Florida to see if they will survive or not? According to the book he went to South American and trapped them and brought them back himself. So... is Grady’s dad a poacher?! And what kind of experiment is, I wonder if they can live in Florida supposed to be anyways?! Is he like, trying to find a new habitat to repopulate the species? I’ve got a tip for him... NOT FLORIDA! Those deer are all going to be alligator food in less than a week. That or become meth addicts...

But he’s not just a bad scientist. He’s also a bad father. Yeah, that swamp behind their house is the home of a man known only as The Swamp Hermit. A man who seems to enjoy chasing children through the swamp while screaming “I’m the werewolf!” (Good times... We had a guy like that in the wood behind my house too.) And not only does Grady’s dad let his kids play in the swamp unsupervised, which would be kind of dangerous even if there wasn’t a crazy hermit living out there, but when Grady tells him the hermit chased him through the swamp not once, but twice, Grady’s dad only replies with, “Some guy at the hardware store told me he was harmless.”

Wow... Did some guy at the hardware store also tell you that setting an invasive species lose in the Florida swamps would be a good science experiment? Is this the same hardware store where you bought your permit to trap a near endangered species and transport it into the country?

Anyways, the point I’m getting at is that Grady’s parents are just as awful as his sister turns out to be. Although now that I think about it... My parents let me play in the woods unsupervised... and they never took me seriously when I told them about the crazy guy chasing me through the woods... Oh my god... R.L. Stine actually captured what living in Florida is really like...

Thankfully Grady makes friends with two kids on his street. Will, a boy his age who doesn’t believe in werewolves, and Cassie, a girl his age who is obsessed with werewolves. He also finds a mysterious giant black dog who looks like he may be part wolf, who Grady decides to name Wolf. Wolf is pretty friendly, as well as far smarter than what I would expect of a dog, and his parents allow him to keep him.

Most of the story is split between Grady, Will, Cassie, and Wolf exploring the swamp during the day, and the mystery of the strange howling and animal mutilations going on at night. As I said before, the book is a slow burn as it builds up tension around the night time activities until Grady finally decides he can’t take it anymore. The howling thing, which Cassie insists is a werewolf, kills one of his dad’s deer, and his dad blames Wolf and is going to take him to the pound to have him put down. So Grady decides the only thing to do is sneak out of the house and find whatever is actually killing all the animals... and that neighbor that went missing a few days ago...

Yeah, one of their neighbors went missing in the swamp, and never did get found. So the stakes are kind of high.

This is when we finally get our werewolf, all the way on the second to last chapter... I wish I could say I was surprised by who it was, but sadly I’d already seen the TV episode of this one years ago, so I knew who it was. Although if I hadn’t seen that episode I totally would’ve been stuck between two of the other characters. Spoiler alert... It was Will. The werewolf who doesn’t believe in werewolves.

Wolf somehow manages to kill Will, because we all know the legends, right? A werewolf can only be killed by a silver bullet, or a silver knife, or a stick with a silver handle... or a stray dog you found. But this doesn’t happen until after Grady gets bit and the book ends with Grady not just becoming a werewolf, but embracing it as he and Wolf stalk the swamps at night.

Which should totally be the setup for an entire series about Grady using his new werewolf powers to solve all the other mysteries of Fever Swamp if you ask me. I can’t be the only person who thinks so. In fact, I know I’m not the only one who thinks so. And the book also mentions that Grady is still friends with Cassie even after he becomes a werewolf. The girl who is obsessed with werewolves... I’d love to see how that affects the development of their relationship.

But no... Why waste time on an interesting setting with lots of unsolved mysteries still left to solve? Stine had to write four Monster Blood books... And a whole series about Horrorland... and another whole series about Slappy, the only monster in Goosebumps more pathetic than the haunted car...

Oh well, at least this book was creepy, interesting, and didn’t make me feel like I was wasting my time.

[templehill]

Review of the  D Word

I went to see this on Friday. Below follow my thoughts such as they are :)

 The D Word is Jordan Waller’s autobiographical search for his biological father and starts with him standing Christ like on a box arms out stretched announcing that like Jesus, he is born of sperm donation. How’s that for an opening? Although he is being deliberately irreverent to make a point, an undercurrent of lonely suffering runs like a melancholy stream underneath all the jokes that he fires rapidly at the audience. He is acutely aware all the way through that he is different.

The only props are the box and a screen which he uses to show photos of himself when young, and drawings from the Endykelokopedia he put together as a child with different kinds of lesbians, a kind of party piece his mums get out whenever they can. He puts up a photo of himself as a toddler, naked except for cherub wings and says that he was the golden child, very much wanted but also an experiment “if I fail I let them down and the whole LGBT community” because he is the child of lesbians; Miranda his biological mother who gives birth to him and her partner Dawn (dee dee) who stays at home with him while Miranda goes back to work. Dawn and Miranda are chalk and cheese, Dawn is down to earth, spiritual and a chronic hypochondriac forever insisting she is ill, the irony of course being that she isnt yet but one day as we already know, she will become very ill. Miranda “Joanna Lumley but on a gap year but with Rod Stewart’s hair” seemingly more remote and tougher on him. He talks of being bulled at school because of his long hair which Miranda refuses to allow him to cut and while dawn comforts him by saying that “when it rains you have to learn to dance in the mud J” and plays Kate Bush to cheer him up, Miranda tells him “you can’t change who you are to please others baby”. However, as he says there is a lot of fun and love...until there isn’t, dawn and Miranda split up and although at first, he sees Dawn a lot, as Miranda gets with and breaks up with more partners, he sees Dawn less and less.

Alongside this, he is coming to terms with his own sexuality. When he’s 11 Miranda takes him out and says “so baby you think you’re gay”. “how does she know?” he wonders “do I look gay? Do I smell gay? Has she found the porn I’ve been trying to download for 4 hours?”. There is a hint that his sexuality is a disappointment, that he’s a cliché – the gay son of lesbian parents. The bullying at school has continued and so he decides, to take on the bullies with humour, owning his sexuality and beating them at their own game “if you get in first, you control the conversation”

And so, life is pretty good, he wonders about his real father but not to any huge extent it seems…...until Dawn is diagnosed with cancer and everything changes. He admits honestly that he doesn’t go and see her very much because the cancer makes her “weird” and the conversations are strange. But then comes the final phone call; Dawn doesn’t have much time and so he rushes to the hospice where she is dying. On stage he lays back imitating the death rattle, saying how he holds her hand until she stops breathing and dies. In the room all the women there are crying but he finds he can’t. Dawn’s sister Debs tells him eventually he has to let go of her and tells him not to dislodge the cannula in her hand. He jokes that he wouldn’t want to hurt her, and she tells him that she’s dead “it was a joke”. Later he and Debs quarrel about the funeral, Debs is arranging a very classic formal burial, something which he knows dawn didn’t want. They snipe at each other until Dawn snaps at him that Dawn never wanted to have him in the first place

Angry and upset, he tries to find a way of dealing with it his feelings through drinking, smoking, taking cocaine and even a chemsex party “I ended up sat in the corner playing candy crush”. He decides in the end that the best way to find meaning is to become a sperm donor himself. This turns out to be easier said than done, partly because as a sperm donor child he lacks the genetic history required: the sperm donor clinic needs to know if there are any abnormalities and partly because as he illustrates later, wanking at a sperm clinic is harder than you think. To deal with the first he goes to see Miranda to ask for his sperm donor registration number so they can find his biological father’s details. When he arrives, she’s having a party and says “‘I’m sorry about dawn baby’ ‘why did you kill her?’” he lashes out. She gets the information and gently reminds him that it’s her birthday, something he’s obviously forgotten. She also asks him if he has really thought about what he’s doing.

He goes back to the clinic and is permitted to give a donation for testing. Then follows probably the funniest part as he realises the clinic has no Wi-Fi, so no porn and he’s forced to rely on his imagination. To help he constructs a fantasy of a dark hared smooth muscular olive-skinned naked Italian on a horse, but which ends up being interspaced with thoughts of his mum. He compares how women masturbate building to a swan like climax with men who tug and gurn like goblins, and yes, he acts it out and its as funny and awful as you think!

Eventually he manages a sample (most of which he has to scoop off the floor) and goes to find someone to give it to. He can’t find anyone, but he finds his way into the place where the files are kept and he looks for, and finds, the information about his father. He now has the information he needs to track him down, which he does, and he goes to see him.

This part (which may or not be true) makes you ache for both the child he was and the man he is. He’s delighted to find his dad is big and masculine and watching football “he’s a proper bloke!”. His dad invites him in and asks if he has any questions: Jordan pulls out the questions he wrote down when he was a child starting with “where are you now?” and ending with “do you ever think about me? Do you love me?” the tiny hopeful look he gives at this point breaks your heart. The moment is interrupted by his wife shouting from upstairs to hurry up as they need to collect their son from football.

And so that’s that.

Finally, its Dawn’s funeral where he’s forgotten he’s meant to give a speech. This is the climax of the lay and it’s the only bit that for me that doesn’t quite work. What holds the D word together aside from Jordan’s on-stage presence and ability to capture the audience is the honesty with which its done. The speech he portrays as giving at Dawn’s funeral though doesn’t feel very honest. Anyone who has ever heard him interviewed will know he’s a deeply articulate erudite thoughtful speaker. It’s hard to believe that he would therefore make a speech that is mostly a pun on “holes” with things like “as I look into dawn’s hole”, it doesn’t really ring true and so it jars with the rest of the play which is also full of smut and sex references but they all work in context. However, we can forgive him because as he struggles through, Miranda who wasn’t invited to the funeral arrives at the back of the crematorium carrying a bag from dawns favourite curry house (Debs has arranged tea and cucumber sandwiches) an he finds the strength to get through it as Miranda watches crying at the back. I may have had something in my eye at that point.

And so, as he says, he has a different relationship with Dawn now; she has left a hole in his life, but he lives with it because she’s always with him inside.

He finishes alone on the stage as he’s been the whole time, but at last with some of the answers he needs, alone but maybe no longer lonely.

O�

#jordan waller #thedword #my rambling thoughts #he's GOOD #my feels