#how their physical intimacy changed to something so much tender and needing… and they just let it happen… didn’t even try to stop it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dia-souls · 7 months

Text

Pairing: Kino 🎮 and Yui 🌸

Author: Admin Irsa

Genre : ⚠️ Romance, Tragedy end ⚠️

TW: Forced relationship, Pregnancy, Blood mentioned, Death, Tragedy Ending

Admin's Note: I am back with another one shot and this time pairing is kino and Yui as we all know there is not so many fics about them that is something that hyped me while writting it. Kinoyui and Shinyui has very strong rivalry for being my fav that's the reason I asked for your opinion. I don't know how I came up with this idea tbh words came to me while writting I hope you all will enjoy as there aren't much CD and route related to Kino so it was a bit hard to create a Kinoyui one shot.....

🌟 Distant Stars 🌟

Kino sighed as he looked at Yui sleeping besides him peacefully. His hand caressed her tender cheek which has now become chubby because of her good health. This has become a daily routine of her arguing with Kino. Kino used to reply her back but stopped because Yui got sensitive and starts crying and then he comforts her then she sleeps, his hand went to her bulging belly which had his and Yui's child inside.

This child is forced on her. Yui doesn't love Kino but he is sure this feeling inside his heart is love for her the amount of pride he feels when he sees her belly.

Kino got up from their bed. He pulled cover on her, letting her rest. He has now become king of vampires and he needs to do work. After killing all Sakamaki and Mukami he become the only option to the throne. Yui was now his wife, he had an eye on her for long time.

Kino at start saw Yui as a plaything. He didn't care what she wants. She was alive for his amusement, but he started catching feelings for her and he thought this feeling isn't love. Kino as a big fool denied this feeling and called it lust. As time passed he realized that he is desperate for her for, her presence which frustrated him to the core so he decided to get physical with her their intimacy was forced as Yui had zero feelings for him.

He did forced her but after the deed he had big regret. He did felt good by doing it but the moment he looked at Yui crying and sobbing, his heart ache. She after that started avoiding him and locked herself in room refusing to see him, Kino also decided to avoid her as he thought it was best, during their time apart kino realized how much he loves her.

His confession was met with a huge slap on the face, Yui had tears rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall and he immediately left her alone. Reassured that Yuri would take care of her, the news of Yui's pregnancy came out and that's what made them be able to communicate normally again.

Kino loved this child, he had many reasons to do so, as Yui came out of that room and began to transform into her normal self, this child brought them both closer, as if they were tied, so Yui still has a grudge against him, but Yui is a good person. Morality is what makes her endure Kino. She does all these things just for the sake of her child so that child will be normal. Kino is sure that he will start loving the baby when it is born, because the baby is not born yet, it has changed a lot after it was born, it will become a symbol of their love, Yui and Kino will forget about their past and start a new life with their baby. They will forget past mistakes and regrets.

[{_______________🌹_______________}]

Kino walked in his office to see a pile of documents.

"Ahh! Shit... I miss my old life!"

"Don't say that you are now a king!" Yuri said while bringing more papers.

"Don't remind me... I am so tired. I just work, work and work this is all I do my old man also had this position yet he had enough time to have fun with his children life."

Kino leaned towards his chair and rubbed his temple.

"Kino.... Be serious we need to start working. Besides you need visit vibora castle. They requires your presence."

"What? what thoes snakes want from me?"

"We just received an invitation from them and we need to go there to see what they want."

Kino sighed.

"Yeah.. yeah sure."

"Good let's start working then shall we!" Yuri said while lifting a document.

[{_______________🌹_______________}]

Kino decided to take a break, he got up from his seat then he noticed Yui so he walked closer to the window. He saw Yui walking in garden and looking at roses. Does she like thoes rose? He will make sure to get them planted all over the garden!

Kino eyes widened as he saw Yui gripping the rose which has throns and was hurting herself. Kino immediately teleported their.

"Are you sane!!"

He said while throwing the rose away from her hand and he noticed her hand dripping with her blood. He glared at yui.

He brought her hand closer to his mouth to lick the blood off her hand. But Yui yanked her hand away from him.

"Look what you did ! Idiot!!"

She glared at him.

"Why do you care?! What I do to myself is none of your business!!? "

Kino's face became red with anger but he need to be the calm one as Yui isn't in condition to put stress on. He immediately hit her main point of weakness to make her obey.

"Okay! I won't bother you but.... Yui you have my, I mean our baby inside you, if you hurt yourself the baby will also be hurt... We both agreed that we will change for the baby. So.. you don’t want the baby to become Subaru right?!! "

Yui's eyes widened. That's true she can't do that. She can't be this cruel to her baby, it's her baby after all. Kino might have done wrong to her but their baby is innocent and it did nothing wrong. She looked down because she was embarrassed of her action.

Kino looked at her gently this time. He pulled her for a hug.

"Yui... You and my baby are most important to me.... Please don't hurt yourself like that... I am not saying this because of child inside you but because I love you."

He looked at her pink eyes.

"You already know why I care because I love Yui even if I want I can't stop caring about you."

He smiled lightly and put her hand on his heart.

"It doesn't and can't stop minding its buisness, it always want to look at you and be with you."

Yui's eyes softened at his confession but she can't deny his cruel action.... she looked at him licking the blood off her hand. Kino loves her and cares for her...... he is changing for her. Yui didn't resist or stop him from licking her blood and healing her scars. The scars on her heart are also healing with his gentleness, his patience and love.

"I am going to go out today..... So take care of youself."

"Huh? Where are you going?!" Yui turned to look at him.

Kino smiled at her.

"You don't want me to go?"

Yui remained quite at his words.

Kino smiled as she is behaving like him. When he was catching feeling for her he always wanted to know where she is what is she going to do. Kino knows his relationship is progressing with Yui. Slowly this will turn into love.

"Don't worry, I will return by night. You just need to tak care of yourself till I return." kino walked closer to kiss her forehead and Yui didn't resist and letted him.

[{_______________🌹_______________}]

"LEAVE HER!! ...... You please don't do that don't!! Just don't!!" . Kino yelled as he watched Yui being taken by founder.

"You are no one to stop me vampire, know your place!" Shin said as he kicked him.

He glanced at Yui who was behind him on floor. Yui immediately looked at Kino and started running towards him only to be grabbed by Shin.

"Hoh? Where do you think you are going?!"

Shin threw Yui on hard floor not caring about her condition. It's not like the child is founder or his child.

"YOU BASTARD LEAVE HER - - "

His face met with Shin's kick. Kino spitted blood out. He coughed some blood.

Shin then looked at Yui, walking towards her. Yui crawled away from him fearing his action. Yui whimpered as she was grabbed by her hair.

"Why do you get pregnant by him? You choose to carry a child of some inferior being such as him huh?!! You had a chance to carry a founder child!?!" Shin said as he grabbed her again to lift her.

"No... Nghh... Leave..... Her..... Shin I beg you kill me but leave her and the baby... Please don't touch her please...."

Kino was losing consciousness as he was restrained and now was tired. He cursed at himself for being weak and idiot for falling into Shin's trap he sended a fake invitation so Kino left the palace which made the castle vulnerable as vampire king wasn't present to protect it. Shin attacked the castle while it was vulnerable . And his purpose was to kidnap Yui but Kino upon hearing the news returned immediately but it was too late as Shin threatened to kill Yui if he didn't pass his power to him.

Kino obeyed and transferred power as he was too scared for his family safety.

Shin now became powerful enough to defeat all vampires and ghouls present as his army was already strong but now he is superior.

Shin laughed cruely.

"You know what is going to happen?"

He came to him slowly while smirking he bended to his eye level.

"Nnghh... Agh.... Shin... please..... kill me, leave her.... do.. n't hurt her... "

Kino was nearing his end. Yui was still crying. She was shouting his name as she herself was in sheer pain but her heart was hurting for kino.

Kino laughed sadly at her. She was now begging for him to not to leave her. He knows he isn't going to make it alive out off here just when they were getting closer to happiness reaching their happy ending this happened. Kino can see her love for him and her affection for him.

He wished he can hear her confession.

Shin laughed at scene crazily.

"You know what I plan to do? I plan to dethrone Nii-san and I will become the king, the leader, the only founder alive in this whole world!! Isn't it crazy my dreams are coming true!"

He chuckled. He looked at Yui.

"Don't worry I will make sure you will live. "

He turned to kino.

"I won't hurt her for sure.... But her baby, no! No!! Your baby will die I will replace yours with mine!"

Both of them widened their eyes.

"Yui will live and will be mother of my children. Founders race won't die. They will continue. they will never go extinct."

He turned to Yui and grabbed her face. Yui was now hicupping because of crying so much her face was swollen. Shin looked in her eyes.

"Don't worry! I will quickly give you a baby you won't suffer more I won't hurt you! "

Yui cried at his words.

Shin took his sword out and walked towards Kino.

"No!! NO!! SHIN PLEASE DON'T..... KINO please.... don't..... go.... don't.. lea.. ve.. M.. E!! "

Yui yelled while crying her tears not stopping.

Kino laughed gently at her.

"Don't cry Yui... I hope.... you will live happily... my Yui I love you.... I was so cruel to you forgive.. me for... everything.... Don't cry..."

Yui's face was the last thing he saw before Shin sword stabbed him.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yui komori #komori yui #kino sakamaki #sakamaki kino #kino x yui #yui x kino #kinoyui #kinoyui fanfic #diabolik lovers fanfiction #diabolik lovers fanfic #diabolik lovers fandom

66 notes · View notes

boilingheart · 3 months

Text

One of these days, I'll post all of the fanfics I've written for my tav cleric Lucius Skorn and Gale and co., but I'll just have a little excerpt for this gods forsaken slow burn.

This is set in Act 1. Lucius found an alternative to feeding Gale's hunger when artifacts stopped working: divine power from Ilmater, funneled directly to them. It's an intimate process, one that brings them too close. This is the aftermath after one of them...

—

Lucius huffs with amusement, dipping his head low. He settles back on his knees, his breath still on its way back before leveling a studious gaze at him. Gently, he raises a hand to Gale’s cheek, swiping a thumb at the tears that had spilled earlier with such tenderness Gale didn't know he was capable of. “Are you alright?”

For a moment, Gale’s entire world stops. His heart pounds in his chest, every ounce of cognitive thought scrambled as his mind fixates on the warm hand on his cheek, his soul pinned to the stone by the softness in the elf's eyes. His breath catches. He should say something. He needs to say something. Far be it for Gale to be a man at a loss for words, scattered the way he is without a swift recovery in sight.

But instead of words, instead of telling him he's fine, instead of assuring him he's never been better and that he's not in any pain and that Lucius is a lovely, lovely healer who has done more than he could ever ask of him, Gale only reaches a hand out to clasp over the one on his cheek, holding it reverently. It's not the gesture he wanted to give. He understands that the moment here is a little too intimate, a little too delicate, and that he'd do better to dissipate it here and now before testing waters neither of them are ready to swim in.

But something changes in the cleric’s expression when he holds him. Every ragged breath fills him with Lucius’ warm scent, and at this angle, with Lucius looming over him, Gale catches a glimpse of his bare, tattooed chest from where the collar of his shirt dips with gravity. He can't trace the artwork that trails down in the dark, but curiosity gnaws in his chest along with a surge of fondness and affection. He knows so little about this man. He knows there's so, so much more to this Ilmatari cleric, he knows there's a plethora of stories buried deep within the centuries this man lauds. For a moment, Gale thinks, it would be nice to entertain something a little deeper with Lucius.

He knows they shouldn't. The Orb is far too delicate to risk anything too exciting, and truthfully, Gale still hasn't been able to tell just how genuine Lucius is with his own affection towards Gale.

But with how close Lucius is now, how gentle he is, with the kindness in eyes Gale only ever witnessed a dead, distant look in, he could believe.

Their breaths are still heavy. The air is warm between them. Gale still resonates with the divinity Lucius poured into him, and the darkness of the night within the tent caresses them both, holding them gently. Lucius’ eyes dart from his, down to his lips, and all Gale can think of is that image he conjured in his mind during their moment in the Weave together, how Lucius sought to kiss him and leave him breathless.

Perhaps he could believe the cleric is genuine.

He finds himself lifting his chin, inching just a fraction closer. Lucius follows the movement with half lidded eyes, lips parted as he cautiously moves closer. Their noses brush. Warm breaths tangle together, filling Gale with an unbelievably insatiable feeling of need. A desperation to get closer, to put his hands on him and crash together and tangle their legs and get lost, to just feel him in a way that truly matters.

They both hesitate. Gale wonders what brings Lucius so much pause. Is he not already a man of open physical intimacy? Does he not already boast a portfolio of mindless, physical conquests? Gale knows what stalls him, but Lucius? Why does he pause?

Gale’s lips part, and the thought is quelled. They move in unison, a moment of bravery closing the distance between them and sealing together with a featherlight, warm kiss. Lucius is soft against him, his lips slotting perfectly against Gale’s. Still hesitant, still experimental, still filled with so much unbridled, barely tethered desire. Their lips move together only once before Lucius pulls back, opening his eyes to look over Gale, who is far too stunned to move, too stupefied by the kiss to string together a clever collection of words.

He wants to kiss him again. He wants to pull him in and bring him back closer. And he almost does, but Lucius pulls away all too suddenly before he can be brought to action.

“Sorry,” He says quickly, scrambling back on his haunches a considerable distance away from him, leaving Gale cold. “I um. I got… I-I didn't mean…”

“Lucius —”

“You should go.”

Gale couldn't have possibly anticipated just how crushing a sentence like that would be. He sits up from the bedroll, and this time, it’s his own heart he worries that will spill from his chest. “... Right. Right, of course.”

#bheart art #my ocs #Lucius Skorn #Gale of Waterdeep #skornweave #bg3 #tav x gale #gale x tav #Gale Dekarios

26 notes · View notes

wastemanjohn · 9 months

Note

HAPPY DFF QUEEN!!!!! how do you think punishment/reward in john and dean's relationship evolved over the years as dean grew up and john got older?

HAPPY DFF ONE DAY EARLY and sorry it's taken me so long to answer!

tw for my answer for emotional abuse

i mean. i don't actually see john being one for big punishments in the traditional sense. i don't buy into him being overtly or consistently physically abusive, 1. because there's no canonical evidence for that and 2. because i find that interpretation kinda boring. i'm not saying dean didn't get the odd spanking or smack because john is definitely of that generation, and whilst i'm not saying that's okay i'm saying it's probably to be expected.

but i do think john probably emotionally punished dean... the way he looked at dean while hugging sam in the shtriga episode kind of haunts me tbh... i could definitely see john freezing dean out and ignoring him when he made john angry. giving him the silent treatment. giving him that shtriga-episode *look*. i feel like john wouldn't even need to say a word to dean to make him feel like shit... i see him doing a lot of passive-aggressive stuff. also throwing out casual reprimands and put-downs too. see: rust on the car - that came out of nowhere. i know some might argue that's a small thing; but especially with the way sam reacted to that i wonder if john picking at dean about random shit all the time was kind of just par for the course between them.

and i actually don't see this changing very much as dean got older. if anything it might have got worse. i think john is unstable and he's hurting, and i do think dean felt the brunt of that. the phrase "hurt people hurt people" annoys me but it's true, and it should be this family's slogan.

as for rewards... i don't know if there was much of that either. when dean succeeds in protecting sam, taking care of him while john's away, is that not *rewarding* enough in itself? is it not enough to save people, or help dad do it? i think dean got the odd squeeze on the shoulder. the odd smile, the odd "great job, kiddo." i think these things were everything to dean.

idk. the above is a narrative that explains a lot about dean for me anyway.

as for adult dean... i very much go through phases in terms of how i see their relationship, and i'm very much on my "john-is-only-tender-with-dean-during-sex" bullshit at the moment. is it out of guilt? is it out of a desire to take care of his boy, give him something that feels good when he hasn't been able to do that in pretty much every other area of dean's life? idk. but i love (word used loosely) the idea of dean seeing sex with daddy as a reward in itself. the intimacy of it. the closeness, and john granting him that.

john being in a good enough mood. dean managing not to inadvertently piss him off for long enough to sustain it.

i feel like this got really dark lol sorry. but anyway i don't think john ever set out to be purposefully cruel, and i think dean understood that to his detriment. if that makes sense.

#asks #happy early dadfucker friday #sorry it took me so long to answer rae #i'm so bad at asks atm #johndean #at his side and drunk on pride #tw emotional abuse #tw incest

20 notes · View notes

lookbluesoup · 11 months

Note

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

For Lyrha, with love <3

Thank youuuu :D <3

3. What was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person

There's a few moments like this for Lyrha. A big one is, of course, the first time they sleep together. She was already pretty attracted to him at that point, but X'rhun is gentle and attentive to her in a way she's never had before, which totally changes her perspective on what intimacy with another person can mean. While it might sound a little cliche to say the sex did it... for Lyrha, sex had always been a tool to protect herself. An act of giving something of herself away. It was a really big deal for her to realize that there was someone out there who would take her needs into account too, even when he didn't have to.

It shatters one of the last holdouts in her mind that everyone is selfish and in it for themselves, and helps her realize X'rhun really is the honorable man he claims to be.

And hilariously(?) the tenderness scares her so much she actually retreats from him for a while. She doesn't think he reciprocates any stronger feelings and doesn't know how to handle her own. She's never been in love before.

For the most part I suspect it kind of sneaks up on X'rhun. Having someone to travel with, banter with, fight beside... someone who stays. Though he always had hopes for her as an apprentice, he wasn't really looking for an attachment. But Lyrha is,,, sticky. And got herself gobbed up in his heart anyway.

I do think a particularly significant moment for him - and honestly, Lyrha, too - is the fight against Lambard. When X'rhun is badly injured and tries to tell Lyrha and Arya to flee... there's this Moment.

X'rhun is objectively a better fighter than Lyrha at this point, and she knows it. And Lambard's still strong thanks to his voidsent powers, something Lyrha is terrified of. His fight isn't with her. She could leave. She could bargain. In her old life, she'd probably have tried to ally herself with him because he was the stronger figure, and it made no sense to make herself his enemy.

But that means leaving X'rhun to die.

X'rhun... expects to die. He realizes he can't bring his rival to justice and despite spending decades with the pain of Lambard's betrayal, he doesn't cling to it. His only hope left is to protect his companions. He doesn't want to lose them, the way he lost his friends before.

And for Lyrha it's not even a serious consideration to flee. She's scared. She knows it's foolish. But she steps in between Lambard and X'rhun with ears pinned, sword drawn, and growls. It is entirely in defiance of her old life, a blatant pledge of loyalty to Red Magic. She'll fight for X'rhun.

And as horrifying as it is to X'rhun to watch her and Arya face his great enemy while helpless to aid them, seeing her choose that secures a place for her in his heart that no hell or high water could dislodge.

---

7. Do they pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how?

This kind of ties in with the first one - but Lyrha soliciting X'rhun for sex was actually partly an attempt to foster attachment in him. Her body was a "gift" she was giving in gratitude for all he'd done for her, and in the back of her mind she felt that if she could give him physical satisfaction, he'd be less likely to leave her behind.

And when he blows her out the water with it (because X'rhun doesn't just take, he gives back) she realizes there's a lot she doesn't know, doesn't understand, and that is terrifying. She's no longer confident in her ability to please him, because he isn't like any man she's been with before. Sex had been her trump card.

So there's a lot of... Lyrha learning the difference between ingratiating herself to someone to have protection, and being in a relationship built on mutual affection and care. A huge element of her story is this very realization, growing in the ways that she wants and reasons she pursues someone's affection.

But overall they're both very good at flirtatious banter. And when they finally have a good sit down and actually talk about their feelings, it's... difficult, they've both got baggage, but extremely sincere.

And though X'rhun initially tries to keep some emotional distance, Lyrha's energetic attitude indeed pulls him in. He'll dance with her, bring her gifts (including one extremely temperamental Vochstein), and isn't afraid to get a little handsy. She gives as good as she gets.

For Lyrha, her determination to stay by his side no matter what is the greatest declaration she could ever offer, and he knows it.

---

Development Questions for Couples

#that's all i've got for these if folks want to send more in!#couples dev qs #verheart #lyrha #x'rhun tia #ask #long post #text #nsftumblr

8 notes · View notes

trashlie · 1 year

Text

FP 223

I know this is a week late, but I figured it’s better to get this up before tonight’s episode than have to do two of these lol (writing for two different episodes is SO HARD lmao). And listen, I had a lot of feelings I didn’t get to work all the way through since I read this on vacation (literally LMAO crying in public while waddling behind my friends LMAO i am a foooooool) so this post is going to be just that - me working through this lmao

I will say upfront that as much as this episode hurts, I think it went about the best it could, or rather, the most realistic way it could. While I had a lot of hope and wishes heavily stemming from ep 219, I think I knew deep in my soul that the reality is that Nol isn’t there yet, that some scars run deeper, and that it isn’t as easy to change who he is. But I’ll get on to that under the cut!

Honestly, I think the flow of events during this arc are done SO well, so masterfully. I remember everyone being SO disappointed when we reached this arc and it was Shinae’s dad on the rooftop (the BEST possibility it could have been, frankly!!!!) but this ENTIRE arc has been beautiful and I really hope there will be a day that this series will be printed in a physical form so I can buy all the volumes and just DEVOUR this entire arc. From the beginning of the Christmas party, the Bible, Nol’s jump from the balcony, Kousuke unraveling, the arrival at Minhyuk’s party, Shinae luring out Nol, the whole intimacy of secrets shared and that glimpse of who Nol really is, the fall, the Kousuke and Nol fight, the tenderness in the hospital, the sheer flirty romance and hopefulness of 219 leading right to this. It was inevitable. In retrospect it makes perfect sense - that build up cannot reach its pinnacle, not yet. Nol isn’t ready.

And that’s what’s the most heartbreaking thing about this episode.

Nol isn’t ready. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Shinae, it’s not that love or whatever isn’t enough. It’s that he’s not ready. When he apologizes to the space she no longer occupies, he says he doesn’t want her to see him like this. I wish he could have said it to her, but it wouldn’t have changed anything, and I imagine in her own way, she must get it. Nol’s every weakness has been used against him at every opportunity that it’s no longer he wants to hide this part of him, so as to not feel like a burden, so as to be the happy, radiant friend she’d longed for. And while WE know that Shinae doesn’t need that of him, and maybe he even realizes it, it doesn’t change how he feels. It can’t - this is so ingrained in him.

I’ve started to think of Nol as a sort of prey animal; he’s easily skittish, it’s easy to startle him, and he clings to his security, because he needs it to feel safe. He clings to his masks, to his lies, to this bright personality to stave off the darkness that’s always surrounded him, to stave off the darkness in other peoples’ lives. His whole goal was to put some good into other peoples’ lives because even if he can’t have it, isn’t it better to put out something good (especially when we know he lives with this belief that the bad things that happen are his fault)? How can he bring them down with his darkness, his pain? It’s the entire opposite of what he wants to do.

And think about it, too: Nol has never really had FRIENDS, these are the first real friends he’s had and they were a total accident. But where Shinae has found security in friendship and learned to push those boundaries and put more faith into others, he lacks that experience. He can’t bring himself to do it, yet.

I think a big difference is that while Shinae wanted so badly to believe that all people suck and are awful, because it gave her comfort because if everyone was like that, then this wasn’t a one-off, then she wasn’t someone it was so easy to be awful to, and she didn’t need to be so upset when the inevitable happened, the truth was she wanted to be proven wrong, she wanted people to do for her what she expected they wouldn’t. But that’s not the case for Nol. Shinae had repressed hope buried deep down, so it was so much easier for her to change, to look at the people who DID have her back and find it in her to put faith in people she couldn’t guarantee.

And in a way, wasn’t she burned? Nol tried to leave and though he came back and offered her an explanation, they’re still at the same place: he can’t be real with her the way she wants, and she can’t bear to watch him play a charade and wear a mask that she can see through.

But it’s not the same for Nol. I think he’d resigned himself to this life, and maybe he did secretly hope otherwise, maybe he told himself otherwise when he made friends who accidentally became real. But maybe he meant it. Maybe he meant that he’d help these people before he peaced off to England. Would anything have been different, had the Kim formal not happened the way it did? If that was the catalyst that reminded Nol he can only bring harm to those he cares about, would he have made it to leaving for Oxford without telling anyone or not? But that doesn’t matter, because the Kim formal did happen and it reminded Nol how dangerous it is for him to care for people, and how futile it felt to fight back, to push back. Shinae was looking for that sliver of hope to grab on to, but Nol had given up on ever finding it, and even when faced with it, it’s too difficult for him to take hold of it.

I think Shinae never hated herself, or at least not truly, but I think Nol does, and that seems to be the difference.

For Shinae, it was much easier to change her ways because it fed into a secret hope she’d been waiting for, because it was the push she needed to make a leap of faith. In Nol’s newfound friendship, she found a sense of security. After all, we saw her struggle to put up her walls towards Nol when she thought she’d hurt him after going off on him for crossing that line. It wasn’t the Kim formal events that made her see him as a friend, but they did foster that sense of security. But when you look at those events from Nol’s perspective, it’s completely different. There was no sense of security fostered, but rather one of fear. There was no comfort in their friendship - only a sense that he’d brought her into danger, that he’d made a mistake of showing interest in her and it got used against them. One of his greatest traumas must be finding out what had happened to his mom, and to actually watch something similar almost happen to Shinae? Jesus. It’s a testament to what a friend she is to him, what she came to mean to him, that he struggled to push her away after all of that.

But I think that’s the biggest take away: Shinae has learned just how deep Nol’s scar is, and I think whenever she learns more about what happened to him, what he believes about himself, it will make even more sense to her, why Nol is unable to take off that mask, why he’s so affected by this side of him that he doesn’t want her to see it. It’s not that he can’t trust her, it’s that he can’t bear to be this person in front of her (or anyone). Even when his friends wake up, he puts the mask back on, carries on with the lies and the mask, because he doesn’t know how to let that part of himself exist, and certainly doesn’t know how to let that part of him be seen, let alone loved.

And jesus that hurts so much. It hurts to know just how badly he’s suffered and continues to. (And it’s also a reminder to my forever mantra: he needs therapy! Shinae alone cannot fix this, love and care alone cannot undo what he has suffered and internalized.)

But in the same way that it’s so heartbreaking, it’s also, weirdly, hopeful.

Shinae is able to understand him, to some degree. She’s been there, she knows what it was like. It’s just that she doesn’t know how to get through to him, yet. He’s got such an impenetrable fortress around him the only way to get through is for him to lower his guard, to let her in. Or, I suppose, find a crack in the foundation, find a way to wriggle in. But that’s the thing - she acknowledges it, and decides not to give up on him. It would be so easy - and she wouldn’t be wrong for it - to decide you know what, I can’t do this, I’m wiping my hands of this. She’s just one girl! She’s not a therapist, she’s not a trained professional. And I love her for the decision to keep trying, even if it’s not easy. Because if Nol had given up on her, then would we have any story to follow? Would she have found friendship in Dieter and Soushi, learned to open up, found a way to make up with Maya, reconciled her trust in the people she cares about?

It’s just also so sad and painful to know that it’s that much harder with Nol, that his trauma runs that deep, that it’s eaten away and left him fearful and wary and unable to be open. It was hard enough for Shinae to do it!

I gotta say, that frame of them, where she’s stepping away from him and the sunset fading to black behind them is SO BEAUTIFUL and also SO DEVASTATINGLY SAD ;~; lmao I cannot get my mind around the FEELINGS it evoked, the way it’s so easy to understand both of them. I think Shinae did what was right. She drew a line, she made it clear that she doesn’t want to blindly play along anymore. She wants to know HIM, not this false version of him, and he can’t be that person right now. As much as I wanted her to pull off the blindfold and force him to see, I think it wouldn’t have been the right move. It might have felt violating to him, to be seen in a way he’s not ready to show yet, and would have made the wedge worse. And she had to leave, because it was only stringing herself along to otherwise pretend he’d be the person he’s incapable of being right now. How is it fair, for her to share a moment with him so full of joy and happiness for her, while he’s hiding his pain? How is she supposed to feel about that? It negates any of the joy she feels.

I’m sure there’s more to read into regarding Nol’s fairness than I can get my head around, but even at the surface level, it feels like Nol feels like it would be unfair to open up to her or Dieter and Soushi, even though they’ve opened up to him. “It’ll make things fair” but like she says, how is it fair at all, if she’s the only one allowed to find joy in their relationship, if she’s the only one keeping it as a good memory. Isn’t that unfair, that she alone would have remembered this dance as a pleasant time, as something to tuck away in her heart?

I had thought that Nol’s decision to join Shinae on the rooftop was a sign that they’re on the same level, toe-to-toe, but his choice to wear the bandana negates that. He’s unable to stay on the same level as her, unable to be as open and vulnerable as she is, and that’s not fair to her. She’s shared with him a story I’m pretty sure she’s never shared with anyone else.

How much must it hurt, to hear him say “I don’t need to see anything. I’ll be fine”? GOD. I can’t get over it ;~; The whole episode is just FULL OF PAIN.

Because even after she leaves and makes her resolve to get through to him one day, the mask remains on. He says not one truthful thing to Dieter and Soushi, from pretending he just woke up to refusing to acknowledge his crying, to pretending to not know what happened to Shinae. And Dieter sees right through it, which hurts just as bad. No matter how long he was really awake, he knows enough to realize that Yeonggi was always a lie, that he’s a mask worn to placate others and deflect the truth, and maybe Soushi doesn’t yet know enough to see that in him. But just like with Shinae, how do you go back to being friends with someone, knowing they can’t be honest with you? Even knowing there’s a reason for it, it’s not easy.

(Though, I guess when Nol says “When I opened my eyes she was already gone” that’s not EXACTLY a lie, but the truth of it is pretty irrelevant to Soushi in this matter.)

Dieter has always been remarkably perceptive, and while he couldn’t figure out Yeonggi before, he now knows enough to see through, and he seems to feel frustrated over the realization. It’s not that he and Soushi were bad friends and didn’t realize how bad things were with Nol - it’s that he never let them. It’s how he was always there to take care of their problems, to help them with their dilemmas, but never let them do the same for him, and instead played this role to deter them. How are you supposed to continue to be his friend when you see through it all? When you realize it’s so hollow and empty?

I’m not saying this to make a dig at Nol, because unlike Dieter, I do understand. As readers, we get it. But Dieter knows even less than Shinae does. It just isn’t fair to them.

I’m really curious what he’s going to talk about with Shinae, because boy is there a myriad of things, huh? ;~; Even if Dieter didn’t like Shinae, I think overhearing that would be difficult to swallow, because he essentially overheard something that feels, you know, private? Overhearing their conflict, Nol’s refusal to open up, and Shinae disappearing without a goodbye. GODDDDD that’s awkward and so painful ;~; I think Dieter is a very tactful person, so I’m not sure how he intends to approach that, because I think it would be far too, idk, rude? To be like yo overheard you and Yeonggi yowch that hurts lol and far from his style, but I have to assume that his intention is to address that - Nol’s evasiveness, his masking and lies, the persona he wears for them.

And because Dieter is a tactful, perceptive person, I wonder where he he lands. Is he frustrated because it was something he couldn’t see through before? Does he feel more like Shinae, in understanding Nol has his reasons? Or is he more frustrated that Nol continues to hurt them (and specifically Shinae) over and over? He definitely seems lost in thought, so it’s hard to get a good read on him (and I’m sure that’s intentional, as his face is obscured from us a lot).

And, yeah, I’m sure the frustration could be the realization that Shinae and Nol share something very different to what he and Shinae do, but I don’t think that’s THE source of his frustration. Sure it could be a part of it, but again, because he’s such a perceptive person, I think he’s already clocked this on Shinae’s end. I think still think there’s a lot to the way that Dieter told Shiane she loves Nol with his back to her, because characters seem to share some moments of honesty with their backs to each other, but also, as someone who likes her, of course it’s something he’ll pick up on. But I think most of his frustration is in that Nol continues to play pretend, that he can’t let himself take off that mask.

But also, yes, I do feel for him in the sense of realizing that the girl you like and one of your charismatic friends you’ve envied might like each other, because of course that part also sucks. But in the grand scheme of things, I think there’s a lot of things at play that are hurtful for him. ;~; There’s something so, so bittersweet about the birthday party juxtaposed against his - Nol’s emotional “I love you guys” set against his refusal to be seen like this ;~; What can you do for someone like that? How do you encourage them when you can’t get through to them?

GOD. I HAVE EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone is going through it and IT HURTS and I think I knew all along the pain would be coming but GOD it hurts even more right on the back of such a tender, SWEET series of episodes, after getting to see Nol find that sense of peace, after getting to see them share a moment of friendship together again after so long ;~;

But idk, there’s just something about the sunrise that continues to make me feel hopeful. Nol is in such a deep, dark place right now, and it’s not easy to come out of. I still think we’ll see the main trio separate leading to the timeskip, and maybe when they all reconvene in whatever way, that’s how we’ll return to them. I think Kousuke will go to Japan and we’ll probably see Yui push his isolation further from the people who care about him, I think Nol will still find a way to Oxford after serving his sentence, and I think Shinae will take Rand’s advice and opt for university. It’s hard to say where I think they’ll all be when we get through the BIG time skip, but I guess we have to get through the first one first, anyway. What will come of Yujing’s expose - and what might Nol’s friends learn about him when they learn about the family that has haunted him?

One last thought, though. I’m glad Nana has shown up - I’ve been wondering where she was, why no one had contacted her! - but I feel like I’m the only one who felt like Nol’s expression was a little weird lol. idk, people seem to think he looks really happy to see her but his smile looks a little... off? It could just be because he’s all marked up, but his smaller pupils make him look a little... afraid to me? I don’t THINK that’s the case but I just want to throw that thought out there lmao

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Dieter Becker-Wulff #Soushi Toyoshima #this is surprisingly shorter than i thought but lmao i think my thoughts ended up more succinct!#i'm hoping tonight's episode answers some of the questions i have right now and that i can sort of my thoughts a little further with that #i'm just so alfjkjafjkafjkajkfjkafjkaf #i want to say but i guess it's spoilery LMAO BUT LISTEN I'M JUST #sad and hopeful and achey ;A; lol #there's so many feelings to deal with and at the end of the day it's like ;~;#I JUST WANT TO GIVE HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE #i wish it was easier to help them lol ;A;#waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh #ILY Commentary

14 notes · View notes

melis-writes · 2 years

Text

Eyes like Stars [Bobby Axel x Reader Multi-chapter, 18+ Smut] Chapter 15 - Calm.

Read on AO3 / Read Chapter 14 [AO3] / [Tumblr] / Chapter Masterlist. / Fic Playlist.

18+, explicit smut, multi-chapter read.

“I just wanna be wherever you are.” / “You’re the only one who makes me feel anything, the only one I want."

Riding the calm after the storm of Bobby's overdose as he recovers, you've gladly put in all your effort and free time in taking care of Bobby every minute you've had outside of work. Bobby hasn't used in a few days, feeling mellow and regretful–still unable to believe he deserves your kindness as the two of you spend some much needed time together. Getting to know Bobby's past and how his childhood was opens up old wounds and surprises you to see just what opposite lives you've lived with the only man you want to be with. Meaningful, real and physical change is the only thing that's going to save your relationship with Bobby and that's something that hasn't left your mind as the two of you revel in each other's affection and intimacy for the first time since the chaos of everything.

[WARNINGS]: Mentions & depictions over drug overdose / Themes & depictions of drug withdrawals and addiction / Self-harm healing / Love making smut & intimacy.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: The next chapter is here and with much needed tenderness, love and affection! 🥰💞 All soft, snuggly intimacy here with lots of love making between Bobby and the reader. After all that angst, this is what we need. 😍 The love between these two has honestly never faltered, but to foster it, there needs to be meaningful change the reader has in mind and wants to share with Bobby. Lots more on the reader's background/upcoming as well as Bobby's and his childhood is revealed in this chapter too. 🥺

Bobby’s release from prison marks the end of his and Helen’s relationship and you find yourself spending more time with Bobby and taking care of him after everything he’s been through. Working and living in Manhattan as a college drop-out, you distance yourself from Helen who Bobby and you take solace with one another in hopes to get out of the toxic lifestyle of drug use—promising each other to start a new life with one another and get clean. Falling in love with Bobby, you experience a mutual, passionate and loving relationship with its own highs and lows that promises to bloom into something more serious but also can threaten to collapse. As Bobby’s new girlfriend, your relationship hangs on a thread with old skeletons coming back into Bobby’s life, relapses, and a new panic on the horizon that threatens to undo it all.

Two full days pass before Bobby feels and looks physically well, unbeknownst to him the effects of the heavy dosage he took linger in his body and prevent him from coming down as quickly as he used to.

Although Bobby seemed well and sober enough one day after his overdose, it isn’t until a few more days later and another pack of cigarettes does his body begin to adjust to not being pumped with heavy, dangerous doses of heroin every few hours.

Now approaching the weekend, you still haven’t even remembered how you left work four hours earlier than you should have, but at the same time, you’ve neither been called by HR nor lectured by Sykes—the only person who noticed.

In truth, Sykes didn’t utter a word to anyone else and didn’t feel the need to as there were no further appointments for the day or even visitors coming in.

Your coworkers passed by your empty desk as if you were still sitting in it, much too indulged in their work and on the verge of burning themselves out for promised upcoming promotions.

Sykes even clocked you out at the end of your shift to make sure your pay wasn’t cut, remaining silent about the whole situation for the time being.

The only thing on your mind since then and now remains to be Bobby and Bobby only, so much so that you can almost say it’s disruptive to your life because you can barely think of anything else.

It’s been weeks since you last called up your friends in NYC to spend some time with them and hang out like you usually did, and with the state of you about to tip from chipping on junk to an addiction like Bobby’s, it’d do you good to avoid those who’re only used to seeing you at your best.

Regardless of how fine Bobby appears to be or even says he is now, you’re still as worried as you were when Bobby was convulsing on the ground fighting for his life through that overdose.

At the very least, Bobby gets to recover alongside you and it provides you no small amount of relief and reassurance.

You and Bobby have only had cigarettes for the last four days and haven’t bothered with alcohol either.

You both already decided to go out and see Bobby’s friends after everything on Sunday, but you two are more than content with spending Saturday at home, cuddled with one another.

When the weather was warm enough to bear it, you and Bobby would sit out on the balcony next to each other and make conversation over a cigarette. There was after all no shortage of things you could talk about with Bobby—even things that had nothing to do with either of your personal lives, like conspiracy theories or funny stories.

Bobby’s charisma shines through when he’s sober and clean, just as the rest of his personality reveals itself when he’s doing well.

Whether you come to notice it or not, Bobby’s doing his own share of the chores around the apartment now too without you even asking.

Bobby’s not forcing himself to be of use or help out—he wants to do it because he shares this living space with you and is grateful for it. Bobby wants to maintain it and keep it clean like it’s always been under your care.

The chores Bobby’s been doing consist of throwing out the trash, sorting through bits of recycling, and even vacuuming around the house. Bobby’s never been the type of person to expect someone to clean up after his own mess, to begin with.

Just watching Bobby from afar trying to figure out how your vacuum works, mumbling to himself—“what the hell is this for, man?” while you sort out laundry eases your heart and makes you giggle to yourself too.

The first few times when Bobby surprised you as he helped out and did chores, you couldn’t even scold or get mad at him for it when you saw the happy smile on Bobby’s face as he did his part.

In many ways, it gives you a sense of nostalgia as if it’s the first day you’ve brought Bobby to your place all over again.

Neither of you has touched any kind of junk—marijuana included—and Bobby’s scarfing down every plate of food you put in front of him and asking for seconds too.

You’ve always enjoyed cooking and baking, but now there’s a sense of excitement and joy behind it seeing how Bobby’s eyes light up when you tell him what you’ll be making for lunch and dinner, and then hearing Bobby’s expressions as to how delicious the food is.

It’s no doubt Bobby’s missed the warmth of being at home with you and without occupying himself with anything else, as he told you last night at dinner. “Ya know, at one point I was really just a homebody before the streets kinda took that title. I miss the streets when I’m at home, then I miss home when I’m on the streets.”

“How did you find a balance like that?” You asked him, curious to know more about his upbringing and shift in life.

“I don’t think I did.” Bobby set down his fork and grabbed a napkin off the table. “But now it’s hard to ignore I have one.” His eyes flicker up to you. “I just wanna be wherever you are.”

Never have you enjoyed spending nights watching television, smoking, talking, and cooking as Bobby’s eagerness to help out in the kitchen has made you laugh more times than you can count.

“Could you pass me the red onion, please?” You gestured to the half-chopped onion on the kitchen countertop.

Bobby glanced over to the onion, raising a brow before looking back at you and picking it up. “Baby, this onion is purple.”

“It’s called a red onion.” You giggled, nodding at him. “It can look either way, huh?”

“Red onion,” Bobby murmured to himself in disbelief before he placed it on the cutting board next to the other vegetables.

Not to mention the experiences both of you had in the kitchen while trying to bake a batch of double chocolate brownies together.

“Enough sugah in there?” Bobby put one hand on his hip and peered down at the bowl of brownie batter you were mixing.

“Just about.” You swirled up some batter on the tip of your wooden mixing spoon before you raised it to Bobby’s lips. “Take a taste test for me?”

“Oh, my pleasure.” Bobby grinned and popped the spoon in his mouth to get a taste. “Mmmm… Terrific, baby. Absolutely terrific.”

At first, it surprised you in a downright depressing way to realize Bobby barely knew what half of the vegetables and fruits in your kitchen were.

He barely had a steady, healthy diet of anything at home and only saw varieties of fruits and vegetables at the farmer’s markets that his parents couldn’t afford.

Meals in Bobby’s childhood were almost always heavily processed, leftovers, or came in cans after all. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Bobby didn’t even know there was more than one ‘color’ of onion.

“Hey, baby, I’m back.” Bobby grinned and pushed open the front door while clutching a paper bag filled with fresh vegetables to his chest. “Back, back, back.”

“How was it?” You peeked your head out of the kitchen, blushing. “Not as crowded at the farmer’s market when we first went, hey?”

“Not at all. It was terrific.” Bobby patted the grocery bag in his arms before kicking the door shut behind him and slipping off his sneakers. “Just a couple of people poppin’ in and out, no big crowds like last time. And man, that list of yours helped.” Bobby set the grocery bag down on the dining table. “I got everything ya wanted, with a little something on the side.”

“Oh yeah?” Your eyes lit up in curiosity. “What’s that?”

“Some flowahs I found while I was there.” Bobby carefully reached into the paper bag and rummaged towards the side.

He pulled out a set of carefully wrapped spring onions and beamed at you proudly. “Little something, something for my girl.”

“Flowers?” You blinked in surprise, clearly seeing spring onions in Bobby’s hand instead of any flowers.

“That’s right, baby. Just for you.” Bobby approached you with them before staring down at the spring onions. “That farmer sellin’ ‘em wasn’t all that nice to me. Goin’ ‘do ya even know what you’re gonna do what that, boy?’ I say ‘leave me alone, old man. Just give me my change’. I know what I’m doin’. These are flowahs. It kinda smells like shit, but uh,” Bobby rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I did some snortin’ back in the day, ya know? So I thought what would I know about flowahs and the way they smell?”

You could barely hold back your fit of giggles for long with Bobby mistaking spring onions for flowers, and neither of you could stop laughing when you explained it to him either.

Adding those freshly chopped spring onions into that night’s dinner and stew made it all the more special and memorable for you, reminding you that Bobby’s company has changed everything for you.

You had a habit in the past of regretting how you spent your weekends if you felt you were doing the same things or not being productive enough, but it never feels that way with Bobby no matter what you do together.

Those first two days after Bobby’s overdose felt like two years to you. Still, even now time feels almost numbing at this point because you’ve never spent it with anyone like this.

There’s a sense of relief in your heart that the storm has finally calmed and as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, there may have been a silver lining to everything that’s happened to you and Bobby this past week after all.

You’re where you’ve always been to find solace and relax; curled up with a thriller novel on your bed to relax for the evening but you still can’t focus on comprehending a single sentence to save your life.

Nothing bad comes from it, but your mind wanders over Bobby in adoration and it’s not long until you start to feel your heart beginning to race and even ache a little in your chest.

Almost as if Bobby’s read your mind, you look up from your book to see him approach the doorway after exiting the bathroom.

Bobby’s before you shirtless; the tips of his towel-dried hair still dripping with water, a white towel wrapped around his shoulders, and in a pair of loose slacks.

Freshly shaven and wiping off a dribble of water on his chin, Bobby reaches for the towel over his shoulders while smiling at you—ruffling it through his hair. “Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” You blush, no longer surprised by the instant company of butterflies in your gut.

“How’s my girl?” Bobby steps into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed right by you.

“Gooood,” you set down your book with a shy smile, watching as Bobby lazily runs the moist towel through his hair.

Letting the towel rest over his shoulders a moment, Bobby leans in and gently cups your cheeks with both hands and kisses you sweetly.

“Hi, baby.” Bobby grins as he pulls away from the kiss. “Just shaved and showered, whaddaya think?”

“What do I think?” You repeat, caressing Bobby’s soft cheek with the back of your hand, feeling his smooth skin. “I think…” You lean upwards, aware Bobby’s more than pleased with the affection as you inhale the scent of fresh body wash off of him. “Mmm, I think you smell so good, for one.”

“Yeah?” Bobby chuckles, turning his head to the side to kiss the palm of your hand. “I gotta thank all those fancy shampoos and things you got in that bathroom. I like ‘em.” He runs a hand through his messy hair. “I’mma smell terrific like this till my next bath, you’ll see.”

“That’s perfectly fine with me.” You say with a laugh, beginning to pepper kisses all over Bobby’s cheeks.

“Works well with my lady.” Bobby happily lets you kiss him all over before your eyes begin to glance down at his chest and your hands roam down to his firm shoulders.

“Too hot to wear a shirt?” You feel your cheeks practically stinging with blush.

“Maybe.” Bobby inches closer to you on the bed. “See?” He gestures to his lower stomach at the faded scratch marks, healing very well. “I was cleaning ‘em in the shower too.”

“Oh, perfect, baby. I love this.” Your eyes widen before you move your head down and give a little kiss right above the scratches.

Bobby hates to admit to himself just how much he loves when you kiss over and around his body and glances away hoping you won’t notice he’s blushing too.

“They won’t even be there by the end of the week.” You peek back up, meeting Bobby’s eyes.

“I hope so, baby.” Bobby nods at you. “’Cause ya know, the first day it was itchin’ so much that I wanted to scratch them open.”

“I know, baby.” You push a loose strand of hair away from Bobby’s face. “And now how do you feel? Better?”

“Definitely, real good.” Bobby laces both of his hands with yours, holding them on his lap. “Better than I’ve been in a little while.”

“Terrific,” purposely making use of Bobby’s own slang, you bump the tip of your nose up against his and squeeze Bobby’s hands. “I’ve missed having you here with me like this, spending time together…”

“Yeah, baby.” Bobby frowns. “You and me both. I gotta make it all up to you one way or another, don’t I?” Bobby plants another warm kiss over your lips.

“Oh yeah?” Blushing, you speak quietly against Bobby’s lips. “Like what?”

“A lot of things.” Bobby grins, gazing into your eyes. “Haven’t snuggled for a long time.”

“Uh huh,” you giggle, leaning back towards the bed as Bobby begins to hover over top of you.

“Also haven’t kissed very much.” Bobby gently tilts your chin down to face him.

“Definitely agree with that one,” you breathe, your eyes fluttering shut as Bobby gives you a deep, full-mouthed kiss he’s yearned to do for so long.

You pull Bobby closer to you by his shoulders, indulging in the needy and passionate kiss. A minute passes before you two part slowly, eyes lazily open with only the sound of soft breathing around you and Bobby.

Bobby parts your lips open gently with his thumb, speaking in a hushed tone. “I haven’t made love to you in a long time. Ya know what that’s done to me?”

“Bobby…” You blush furiously, giving his shoulders a little rub.

“Tell me, baby.” A smile forms over Bobby’s full lips. “I want to hear it from you too. Haven’t you missed it?”

“How couldn’t I?” You smooch Bobby’s nose. “You’re the only one who makes me feel anything, the only one I want. There isn’t a single moment where I’m not thinking about being with you.”

“Good,” Bobby chuckles quietly, pleased with your answer. “’Cause you’re all mine, and I gotta get better to do better for my girl.”

“I love you so much, you know that?” You giggle breathily, letting Bobby’s forehead rest against yours.

“I love you so much more, baby.” Bobby embraces you over the bed, nuzzling your neck.

You adore casual affection and intimacy like none other. Being able to snuggle up to Bobby’s chest and feel his warmth against your body—his heart beating against yours.

There’s a thrill in this kind of soft, adoring love and you feel as if you have so much more to give that you know you’ve never been able to give to anyone else. You know you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Bobby’s muscles relax against yours in his arms as you clutch onto his back, feeling his firm body and every curve and shape in his biceps as Bobby hugs you. His hugs are soft and heavenly to you, filled with so much love and mutual passion for affection that it can almost bring you to tears.

‘I needed this.’ You let your hands wander through Bobby’s wet hair but your embrace against him grows more needy and protective as if you’ll break if he lets you go.

In reality, you’re barely holding back your emotions while hugging Bobby. All you can think of is how glad you are to still have him with you like this; that the thought of having to bury him and feel his cold body would absolutely kill you.

If anyone else who didn’t know you or Bobby were to give their opinion on your relationship, all they’d see are two junkies avoiding an inevitable fate in a toxic relationship. A relationship riddled with clinginess, drugs, withdrawal, and addiction.

You haven’t even had the chance to think about how your relationship would be and continue without drugs until Bobby almost died, but you know you should.

In the beginning, you were completely convinced Bobby was clean for good—that he quit pumping all that junk into his system, but now you know better.

Now you know who Bobby really is, and he never quits anything ‘for good’. Bobby does and does, he continues on and on until he either loses interest in something or it kills him. How could he lose interest in the one fix that keeps him together?

“Mm, baby.” You murmur into Bobby’s neck, trailing your hands up and down his smooth skin.

Even amidst the cuddling, you can’t help but peek over at Bobby’s arms, seeing the injection sites littering his upper wrist.

No longer covered in dry blood or picked at, it’s been more than a few days since Bobby’s last injected himself so the recent marks appear to look relatively fresh, but even slow progress is progress nonetheless.

As Bobby and you lock eyes together in a lustful gaze, you can no longer ignore the gnawing arousal tingling throughout your body even if you tried.

The tip of your nose brushes up against Bobby’s and your lips find his for a soft kiss. Bobby’s pouty, full lips collide over yours in a needy but still gentle kiss; each one intensifying the butterflies swarming in your gut more than the last.

Your heart begins to race in your chest as Bobby can already feel how hot your face is touching his from blushing so much.

The two of you continue to share kisses, parting away only for a brief moment before kissing each other again and again.

When Bobby leans down again to kiss you, this time he does so deeply and refuses to pull away—letting the kiss grow passionate and filled with love rather than sloppy and fueled only by arousal.

Only when the two of you finally pull back from the kiss to breathe does Bobby cup your cheeks with both hands again, brushing aside stray strands of hair from your face.

Bobby parts his lips as if to speak out to you again, but pecks another sweet kiss over your lips. “I just want to make you happy, baby.” He whispers out.

“You’ve made me happier than anyone else ever has in my entire life.” You tell him back, feeling your throat tighten from emotion. “You never even have to try.”

“I will anyway, baby.” Bobby smiles against the next kiss you share as you relax underneath him. “And I know I can make you happy like this too…” Bobby’s hands begin to roam down your chest, squeezing your breasts teasingly.

‘Oh, fuck yes.’ You think to yourself, practically touch starved and dying for this kind of intimacy from Bobby for days on end now.

“I wanna make you feel good too, you know.” Bobby’s gaze diverts down to your breasts. “After so long—you don’t know what it’s done to me.”

Biting your lip, you watch as Bobby fondles your breasts through your tanktop—his eyes now back on yours. “I’ve been thinking about it, ya know? Even through everything.”

“I have too.” You admit back shyly.

“I want to make love to you, baby.” Bobby’s breath hitches as his muscles begin to tense up from arousal. “Will you?”

“Please.” You whine with a nod. “Please.”

Bobby loves your insistency and match for passion with him, but he’s beyond fucking hard and sloppy tonight.

All Bobby wants to do is get closer to you with slow, loving intimacy—showing and proving to you how much he adores you and wants to make you feel good again by being intimate like you two used to.

Bobby helps you quickly throw your shirt off of your head before sealing another kiss over your lips, only arousing you further.

Bobby can already feel his insistent erection tenting up in his slacks from kissing you alone and once he has your shirt off, Bobby squeezes your breasts through your bra once again before pulling it down and letting your breasts spill free.

Your nipples are already hardened from arousal and little sparks of pleasure course through you feeling Bobby’s chest brush up against them within his embrace.

“God,” Bobby grunts to himself quietly as you begin to feel his erection pressing against your lower waist. “Let me…” Bobby slides his hands behind you, unhooking your bra off and tossing it aside.

The bedroom feels as if it’s gotten ten degrees hotter as you remain underneath Bobby completely topless, letting your hands roam through his wet hair that clings to his forehead.

Lost in another kiss Bobby gives you, picking up the scent of his cologne, body wash, and the aftershave over his cheeks, you spread your legs obediently under Bobby.

With one hand cupped over your breasts, Bobby uses the other to inch off his slacks and boxer briefs together.

Bobby struggles for a moment to pull them both off at the same time, causing you to giggle and for him to grin back in response—winking at you.

You can’t help but let out a tiny whimper as Bobby strips naked in front of you—his cock springing out from his briefs completely erect and throbbing just to be inside of you.

Before you know it, Bobby slides your panties off down your ankles and bunches it up in his hand before tossing them onto the pile of clothes on the floor.

“Baby…” Bobby rubs his hands up your inner thighs, spreading them open and around his waist.

You gasp out quietly as the sound of your wet pussy spreading can be heard, causing Bobby to smirk from the sound. Blushing furiously, you look away out of embarrassment.

Bobby holds your legs up by your ankles in both hands, first leaning his face down to lick up your pussy from bottom to top—taking you by surprise.

You whine, tugging on Bobby’s hair, and helplessly watch his tongue lick up your stomach, around your breast, and up to your neck where he plants several sloppy kisses around.

“You taste good, you know.” Bobby breathes hotly against your neck. “Just wanted to share.”

“Don’t tease me,” you plead, wrapping your arms around Bobby’s shoulders.

“Not today, baby.” Bobby tilts your chin to face him; his gaze darting from your eyes to your lips. “Kiss me.”

The moment you feel Bobby’s lips crushing over yours, Bobby roams one hand back down your breasts to your stomach and down to your pussy where his fingers eagerly rest over your clit.

Your arousal increases tenfold against Bobby’s touch, and you can practically feel your clit throbbing beneath his slim fingers so much so that it’s tender to the touch.

Bobby’s lips never leave yours through the gentle kissing as he ever so slowly slicks his fingers over your clit before spreading your pussy apart.

The sound of your wetness is bliss to Bobby’s ears and you can’t help but let out a little whine in his mouth as Bobby lets his fingers slowly circle over your clit.

You gyrate your hips against Bobby’s fingers, letting out breathy moans as Bobby's lips break from yours.

“That’s right, baby.” Bobby presses his forehead against yours and watches you squirm with pleasure underneath him with lazy eyes.

Bobby’s fingers spread your wetness over your labia and around your entrance, coating you with your own arousal.

He lets his free hand roam down to your breasts, rubbing your hardened nipple between his forefingers just as he begins to slowly snake two fingers inside of you.

“Oh,” you moan louder, feeling Bobby’s fingers begin to curl inward. “B-Bobby…”

Bobby leans down as if to kiss you again, watching your bottom lip quivering before he grazes the tip of his tongue over your lips and seals another kiss over them.

Bobby keeps only half his finger inside of you, moving them in and out slowly to comfortably stretch you open while continuing to tease you and build up your arousal.

Bobby pulls at your bottom lip with his teeth gently towards him before letting go, then gives you another wet kiss before whispering against your neck, “I’ve missed you so much, baby.”

You clutch your hands over Bobby’s back, feeling how his muscles tense against your body as you’re desperate to bring him closer to you.

Bobby traces his nose against your jawline, planting little wet kisses all over in a trail as he now begins to push his fingers in further—noticing how you’ve soaked his fingers spread your legs open even further.

You wrap your thighs around Bobby’s waist obediently, burying your face into his shoulder while trying to muffle out your whimpers from how Bobby suckles over your skin, kiss after kiss.

The scent of Bobby’s clean, supple skin mixing with his cologne and aftershave turns you on tenfold, and with the way, your body reacts against Bobby’s, his cock twitches against your entrance—desperately wanting to be inside of you.

You’re unable to see just how wet your pussy has gotten from how you’ve embraced Bobby with his body hovering over top of you, but the tip of Bobby’s cock is drenched in his own precum as he presses up his tip ever so gently against your pussy’s entrance.

You let out a shaky breath; your cheeks burning from blushing and butterflies swarming in your gut to accompany the feeling as you can no longer ignore the built-up arousal and desire inside of you towards Bobby.

You gasp gently, resting your head back on the pillow as you feel the tip of Bobby’s cock now beginning to ease its way inside of you.

“G-God,” you whimper, digging your nails into Bobby’s shoulders as a slight burning sensation accompanies a sudden rush of pleasure as Bobby’s cock begins to stretch you open.

“Mm,” Bobby grunts, feeling your tightness convulsing around his cock and slowly letting him in. “E-easy, baby. You’re so fucking tight.”

Bobby inhales sharply, pressing his hips in further but watching for your reaction each time he thrusts an inch more inside of you—watching you take him in.

“Oh, y-yes,” your clit throbs against Bobby as you now feel his waistline come into contact with yours, fucking you slowly to stretch open your tight heat.

Each time you feel Bobby’s hips pulling back to thrust in again, your body’s practically begging for more.

“I’ve missed you so much, baby.” Bobby breathes against your lips, beginning to steadily thrust inside of you at a slow and deep rhythm. “I’ve m-missed this—missed us.”

Loose strands of Bobby’s wet hair bounce upon his forehead as he makes love to you—his tone of voice filled with the desperation of love as he embraces your naked body against his lovingly.

“I-I love you.” You moan breathily in response, feeling Bobby’s muscles tense up against yours while your thighs begin to tremble against his waist.

“Love you more, baby.” Bobby keeps his thrusts teasingly slow to feel all of you with each push, smirking lazily to hear your moans growing louder as you arch your hips up to his.

Throbbing from arousal and pleasure, you embrace Bobby tightly and let his body rock over yours on the bed—causing the bedsprings to squeak out underneath the two of you.

“Oh, fuck.” Bobby never loses his slow, deep movements inside of you, low groan after groan escaping his lips before meeting yours in a sloppy kiss.

In a state of bliss, you never knew how touch starved you grew from such a small break of intimacy from Bobby—practically feeling intoxicated by the way he makes love to you again.

Sounds of heavy breathing from both of you fill the bedroom with the sloshing of Bobby’s cock in and out of your soaked pussy.

Bobby’s learned from the way your body responds to his, every sweet moan coming from you, and the way your expression twists from pleasure whether Bobby makes love to you or fucks you.

“M-more…!” Without even being completely aware of it, you find yourself rolling your hips back at Bobby’s to meet back every one of his thrusts.

Bobby rakes a hand back through his hair, pushing it out of his face before grinning down lazily at you and continuing to pummel into your pussy.

The way Bobby’s full, pouty lips remain parted open, the beads of sweat forming upon his forehead, and how his biceps are clenched as he grips onto the bedsheets on both sides of you if anything is a sight you’ve easily grown obsessed with.

You feel Bobby thrusting up to your sweet spot, having already memorized every inch of your body to know just how to tease and please you all over.

Again and again, you feel your orgasm beginning to build at a new height of pleasure inside of you; your muscles clenching in response to Bobby’s rhythmic thrusts.

“Oh, baby,” Bobby exhales sharply, feeling your pussy clench against his shaft.

“Mm—” You can barely keep your eyes fully open, obsessed with the way Bobby’s hips meet yours back and forth, fucking you at a perfect angle. “O-Oh my Goddddd!”

“L-love you, I love you.” Bobby grunts, thrusting as deeply as he can inside of you.

Bobby grazes the tip of his tongue against your bottom lip before he leans down to press in for a full kiss, already aware from the way your thighs shake against Bobby’s waist that your orgasm is approaching.

Bobby’s moans grow louder over yours, gritting his teeth to quiet them to no avail as his breathing and groaning take the better of him.

You let out a breathy giggle; the sounds of Bobby moaning in your ear and making love to you are nothing but music to your ears.

“Fuck, fuck—” Bobby raises your thigh up to his shoulder blade, thrusting upward into you at a different angle.

You can practically hear the sloppiness of the thrusts; your pussy’s juices sloshing over Bobby’s cock.

“I w-wanna cum in you, baby,” Bobby’s voice is husky and low as he speaks over your neck, beginning to quicken the pace of his thrusting a little.

“Y-yes, yes, yes,” you whine back to him in a shaky breath—feeling Bobby’s hands pinning your hips down to the bed as he enters you in and out.

A tingling sense of numbness hits your knees as you feel your orgasm on the verge of release; Bobby’s needy eyes watch your expression and body language to time his orgasm with yours.

“O-ooh, fuck!” You let out a whiny moan, letting your climax unwind completely.

Bobby bites down on his lip, muffling out a grunt as he bucks his hips one last time to yours; your pussy’s contraction against Bobby’s cock causing him to cum just seconds after you.

“Bobbbbbyyyyyy!” You pant out, feeling your body grow weak and hypersensitive from the intense orgasm.

“My baby,” Bobby attempts to catch his breath, sealing his wet lips against yours.

You can feel every spurt of Bobby’s hot seed flowing inside of you, one after the other as he stays completely still until every last drop of his cum is deep in your pussy.

Without pulling his still erect cock out of you just yet, Bobby continues feverishly kissing your mouth while he places his arm underneath both of your thighs—scooping you up.

Bobby pulls you to lay with him on his side of the bed with your sweaty, naked bodies pressed into an embrace as he slowly pops his cock out of you.

“Oh!” You whimper, clenching your legs immediately. “G-God…”

“Emily,” Bobby murmurs, cupping your face with both hands gently as you lay on your side weakly to face him.

Bobby purses his lips open again as if to say something else, but the two of you remain cuddled up to one another in silence for a moment.

Bobby continues gazing into your eyes, utterly mesmerized and taking in the aftermath of your heated and passionate love-making session.

The warm look in Bobby’s eyes you see now towards you reminds you of back when you saw Bobby and Helen together; how Bobby had a bit more life in his eyes during those early days before you saw it dwindle away over time.

Of course, you had no way of knowing back then that the worst would come to Bobby, but that someone who should have was Helen.

Then again when you think of Helen from Bobby, you also think of how Helen could barely help herself back in those days—even now—let alone Bobby, but even Helen always had more in common with you in terms of her upbringing than Bobby.

Both you and Helen came from healthy, happy homes, but neither of you became addicted to drugs the same way.

Your parents never had to do a day’s worth of hard work, but Bobby’s did.

Bobby’s mother worked at a shitty diner to make ends meet whereas his father worked as a full-time janitor as Bobby told you.

Your family came from money which was their only reason for not being a part of the working class like you are now, but you knew very little about money from the way you were raised.

Bobby got a few cents of allowance to buy himself ice cream or bubble gum with his brother Hank, but his parents stopped the moment they caught onto Bobby saving his allowance to buy himself a pack of cigarettes.

In your family, you knew your aunts and uncles spoiled your cousins even if they were lazy pieces of shit who couldn’t be bothered to write out their own resumes, but your parents definitely didn’t do the same for you.

Bobby’s family moved around a lot, but not out of the state of New York.

Bobby’s father was smart in the sense he preferred to find work at major hotels and big businesses; there was always something to do there.

Bobby’s father knew the rich didn’t care how fast or slow he did his work, as long as the floors shined and the rooms smelt nice, he’d be able to feed his family.

The money Bobby’s mother made working at a diner was spent entirely on herself, Bobby and Hank.

There wasn’t a single thing you didn’t have as a child, and you grew up in the nicest parts of New York City with a private pool at your residence and 24/7 security.

There seemed to be no need to worry about money when one came from it, but you weren’t spoiled rotten like your cousins were.

Regardless of whether you got more allowance than the average kid did at the time, your parents took note of your cousins’ lazy behavior and raised you not to dwindle down that same path.

You made the move to Upper West Side Manhattan for work because that’s where Way Enterprises was—that’s the only work you could secure, courtesy of your parents as it was practically their decision for you.

Bobby didn’t have a choice about anything in his childhood for the most part, and yet here the two of you are—snuggled up against one another after having amazing sex that beat kissing some sleaze in one of the locker rooms or the quick fucks Bobby had with Lindsey just to cum.

All of this is real and the sex is incredible because you and Bobby are on the same wavelength with one another. Matching with one another, the sex has love in it; it’s not for drugs or money, it’s about the bond and adoration you and Bobby have for each other.

That’s not to mention how ridiculously attracted you find yourself to Bobby physically too—utterly in love with him from head to toe.

You love Bobby’s “birds nest” hairstyle—soft and tousled, perfect for you to run your hands through, especially when Bobby ties his yellow bandana over his bangs.

Just thinking about it, you can’t resist. You stroke Bobby’s hair, watching him relax against the pillow and breathe softly, reveling in the casual affection Bobby’s still a little too shy to admit to you just yet.

All that can be heard in the bedroom now is just the two of you breathing. The scent of your faint perfume, sex, Bobby’s cologne, and body wash linger around both of you like an aphrodisiac.

You trail your hand down his face gently, but not before leaning over and kissing his forehead first.

‘Those hazel eyes…’ Hooded and always peeking around, curious yet filled with warmth. You’ve always loved the way the corners of Bobby’s eyes crinkle when he smiles—just as he does now.

You giggle quietly, then plant a soft kiss over the tip of his nose, not having reached those full, plush, and pouty lips of Bobby’s just yet.

You know you really shouldn’t be surprised that Bobby’s always been a good kisser, and he catches you in a kiss the moment Bobby sees your eyes darting down to his mouth.

“I love you, Bobby.” You say after you part from the kiss.

“I love you more, baby.” Bobby exhales softly, running his hands up and down your arms gingerly.

You’d go on forever to yourself about the millions of ways you find this man so sexy to you, but might just flush red in embarrassment hearing how infatuated and in love Bobby is with you too.

To Bobby, you have the warmest eyes he’s ever seen; filled with nothing but love. Even if you can’t see it in yourself, Bobby feels as if you’re a ray of sunshine to him with such a positive force in his life.

As grateful as Bobby is and always will be for everything you do for him, Bobby hasn’t ever felt like he should be used to deserving anything in his life.

‘I want to deserve her, but it’ll never be that easy, will it?’ If Bobby can have it his way, he’d kiss you forever, curl up in your arms, and shut the rest of the world away.

Bobby never felt this way with Helen; you’re much more different than any other woman he’s been around and Bobby doesn’t see you as a mother figure even though you take care of him. Rather, he sees you as a different kind of genuine love he’s never had in his life.

Nobody’s ever been this patient with Bobby or happy with him. All his life, Bobby was just pushed around, forgotten, blamed, and yelled at for things he didn’t do or were out of his control.

Peer pressure surrounded Bobby like a fly caught in a cobweb; there was always a need to escape from the suffocating life he lived growing up.

Bobby had no childhood, but you did. While you were munching on candy at ten years old, Bobby’s lips had already tasted cigarettes every day for a year by then.

As each day goes on, it seems more apparent to you both that two opposite forces collided with one another to bring a love that deep down is sick, maybe even rotten to the core, and clinging to affection and neediness.

The love that you and Bobby have for one another needs to be watered with the same honesty, love, and trust as any other relationship, but it still riddles itself with addiction.

Both of you can overdose alone or together, cry about it, deny it, or have Hotch arrest you and Bobby as many times as you’d like, but if neither of you come to physically change how you’re destroying your bodies from the inside, then nothing will do it for you or Bobby.

The best sex is clean and sober—something that hasn’t changed tonight even though you and Bobby continue to avoid the truth of your lives and addictions even in a moment of intimacy throughout the day.

There’s only one thing that differentiates between you and Bobby when it comes to substance and for you, it's similar to cheating on a diet.

You could sneak in sweets once, maybe twice a week; you may have half a donut here and there. You know you can have more and maybe you let yourself slip a couple of times, but you pull yourself back through and realize the consequences that lie ahead if you fully let yourself go.

Now at this point in your life, you’re not living in your college days of indulgence anymore, but indulgence is all Bobby’s known since he was a teenager.

You dropped out of the one thing that your parents made you feel like gave you a purpose even though you could never get through university to please them.

Even though your parents weren’t around to lecture you about it, to make you feel guilty, and then push you twice as hard to work for promotions at Way Enterprises, you still feel like their wary eyes are watching you with grave disappointment.

If it isn’t the idea of disappointing your parents twice in your lifetime, then it’s the prospect of going into poverty—becoming a homeless drug addict with little to no will to live.

Bobby didn’t have his parents looming over his shoulders to pressure him with the concept of success or compare him to his cousins; peer pressure with his best friend twenty-four hours a day instead.

Sykes is the only one outside of your own drug-addicted friends and Bobby who knows about your “chipping” problem, but Sykes has only spoken out of his ass when accusing you of being addicted to drugs.

‘But Bobby…’ Now with the aftermath of Bobby’s overdose, he’s still riding the calm after the storm. It’s inevitable another one will follow; Bobby’s not clean and sober after all.

His body will crave another fix of heroin at any given moment yet again. Bobby’s going to come down soon and you can tell just by looking into his eyes as he’s nestled up to your body.

It doesn’t matter if you come down with Bobby or not, but his overdose is going to be a blessing if you don’t help Bobby get clean with yourself in the process.

‘Bobby can’t help himself, so I have to—so I want to.’ There isn’t a thing in this world you wouldn’t do for Bobby Axel.

#al pacino #al pacino x reader #alfredo james pacino #melis-writes #bobby axel x reader #bobby axel x oc #bobby axel fanfic #the panic in needle park fanfic #the panic in needle park #the panic in needle park smut #bobby axel x reader smut #bobby axel #eyes like stars fanfic #the panic in needle park x reader

25 notes · View notes

satancopilotsmytardis · 10 months

Note

7, 9, and 17!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I like just being able to make something entirely with words! Whole worlds, histories, feelings! Just made out of strings of letters. I have always been a person who like making things, so writing is a wonderful way of doing so for me.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

I believe that the energy of living things must be changed in some fundamental way when it leaves the body and I believe that people may not fully understand that process. (I have no fucking clue but sometimes places do be 'spooky' in strange imperceptible ways and I'm open to the possibility that ghosts are the cause.)

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I have. NINE current WIPS. Thankfully I can group up a good number of them.

I have a bunch of installments in the Mishap series that I'm working on which while looking like nothing more than PWPs, are actually a fun way of exploring emotional intimacy as much as physical intimacy because one of my favorite things to do is discuss the idea of BDSM as a way of exploring vulnerabilities that it might be uncomfortable or frightening to do in other settings.

There's also Bonded, which I am really struggling with. I started writing the series just because I was having fun playing with a lot of silly ideas, but Shattered is much more serious in tone and while I usually love that, and I have a full outline of Shattered as well as outlines for the next two installments as well, I just haven't found the joy in it that I did in the beginning. I really like how chapter 6 wraps up, and it's been torture trying to move on to chapter 7. I don't know when I'll get over that hump, but it's been 3 months and I still haven't managed it yet.

Tumblr prompts, going well enough. Taking this as an opportunity to just write fast(ish) snippets. I often really want to linger and show how relationships develop thoroughly because (and especially with ShigaDabiHawks) I need a believable progression to show how those character could have possibly ended up together when they're at odds with each other's goals. However, for these I'm just going ham and that's a nice little change of pace.

Stalling out on the original piece (shigadabi with the serial numbers filed off because I wanted to use an original fantasy setting I've used for other OC work). Having trouble balancing how to progress the plot without losing the spark between the two characters after a... disagreement.

The Hanahaki piece is my fucking baby right now. Feeling as good about this one as I did about Honeytrap and Grey Area. It's so achingly tender and I love it to absolute bits. I have one area that I'm still trying to make a decision on and thought that the tumblr prompts would be a good way to step back and give it some breathing room after banging out 27k for it in two days. I'm very excited about this one.

And last but not least, the Time Travel fic! I'm enjoying this one too but I'm thinking about it logistically right now and trying to decide if I'm going to make it a multi-chapter or not. I usually don't like to do that because I write very differently for a multi-chap than I do for a one-shot and I much prefer the style of writing for an insanely long one-shot than a multi-chap (yes this may be why Shattered is fucking me up so badly, also why I really hated Playing Favorites by the end), but I'm not sure if it would be too jarring to go from Hawks' POV to Dabi's after minimum of 12K in Hawks' POV, but I need some scenes to be from Dabi's so eeehhhh. I'll figure it out. I like this one, alternate timelines are always fun to play around with and the butterfly effect here is so fucking strong.

I think I'm going to be finishing the Tumblr prompts before going back to the Hanahaki fic, but we'll see! And this is all dependent on me not starting any more pieces in the meantime. Which. Oof.

Thanks for asking!

#tanco speaks #ask #asks #writer ask game

6 notes · View notes

iris-ren · 2 years

Text

ice cream

hange x reader request

thank you for the request @addiesshrooms hope u enjoy x

tags: soft dom! hange // fwb relationship// some general car smutt

————

you stared down at your cup of half melted ice cream, not knowing how to continue the already awkward conversation. you and hange were friends with benefits, nothing more nothing less. this is something you both knew but, when they offered to go on a ice cream date for a change you couldn’t say no.

the two of you would typically only hang out at hange’s place, though there wasn’t much ‘hanging out’ going on, unless being fucked raw by hange’s strap could be considered hanging out. having casual sex was the farthest your friendship reached, so you felt quite surprised when they brought up doing something that involved going out in public together.

internally, you began to question if this date was a good idea. the two of you knew each other's body all too well, but sitting in the ice cream shop you realized that neither one of you knew each other beyond the realm of physical intimacy.

hange tried to think of anything to say, feeling uncomfortable sitting in silence, “you know a lot of people think it’s not possible to split an atom! hah! but what they don’t know is that it is very possible. ya’ ever heard of nuclear fission?”

you shifted in your seat slightly, not understanding the question, “um.. no i don’t think i have.” you tried to shoot them an apologetic smile.

hange let out an exhausted breath, “fuck this, i give up.”

your eyes went wide at the change in their demeanor, not knowing what to say.

hange reached for your hand as they stood, “get up, i’m fucking you in the car.”

you felt excitement bubble in your stomach as they quickly guided you out of the shop.

hange quickly opened the back seat of their vehicle, shoving you inside. you squeaked as you landed on the soft seats. not wasting a moment, hange quickly moved between your legs working your pants off your body.

leaning down just inches away from your mouth hange smiled teasingly, “maybe we should have started with this and got the ice cream after.”

you laughed as you craned your head up to theirs, initiating the kiss you have been waiting for all evening. the kiss was softer than usual, hange took their time, savouring the taste of your mouth as they reached up palming your still clothed breast.

hange broke away from your mouth, your lips were already swollen from the tantalizing kiss.

“let’s get rid of this, yeah?” they said as they pulled your top over your head. you were so grateful that you decided to go braless today. your nipples immediately began to pebble when coming into contact with the cool air inside the vehicle.

“mmm.. yeah, we definitely should’ve started with this.” they said as they leaned over your body once more, immediately rolling one nipple between their fingers and taking the other into their mouth.

your back arched, as hange elicited pure pleasure from your body.

you sighed when their fingers quit their tender ministrations on your nipple. hange teased you by slowly grazing their fingers down your stomach, and circling the outer lips of your pussy.

you instinctively bucked your hips forward, your cunt already in desperate need of attention.

“so needy..” hange teased as they finally granted you your wish. using one thumb to work circles on your already swollen clit, while the other hand was being put to work by pumping deep inside you with two fingers.

your whole body sang in pleasure,“ohh.. fuck.”

hange looked down upon your body feeling pleased with themselves as you came undone on their fingers, “yeah?.. feels good huh baby?” you could only nod in response, not being able to form words.

hange changed rhythm, they began to curl their fingers to tap your g-spot in a ‘come here’ motion.

“ah! that’s it, right there!” you screamed as heat pooled in your lower belly.

hange’s voice was full of lust as they spoke, “that’s is baby, want you to cum all over my fingers, ‘kay?” you wailed as your orgasm began to roll through you, causing your cunt to latch onto hange’s fingers tightly.

hange let you ride out your orgasm as they placed a kiss on your forehead.

when you finally caught your breath, hange looked at you playfully, “so should we try getting ice cream again?”

———-

as always, feedback is appreciated. love y’all x

-———-

masterlist

#aot drabbles #aot x you #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #aot hange #hange zoe #hange x reader #hanji zoe #aot hanji #hanji x reader #hanji x reader smut #hanji zoe x reader #aot smut #aot headcanons #aot imagines

430 notes · View notes

danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years

Text

Romanced! Male!Companions react to Sole/Lone/Six being unable to walk the morning after.

I’ve got M!Companions from FO4, FO3, and FONV here, but let me know if you guys want me to include anyone else at all!

Might be just a little NSFW?

;)

Fallout 4 --

Danse:

Danse would feel absolutely horrible. After the initial flush on his cheeks at the mention of sex, his expression would turn to one of devastation. There honestly wouldn't be any sense of satisfaction whatsoever at having hurt you, and he would internally berate himself for not being as attentive to you, and as aware of your reactions as he should've been. That day he would tell you to take it easy and he would be at your constant beck and call in an attempt to make it up to you. He would spend all day beside you, working on cleaning and repairing your weapons and armor, engaging in idle conversation, and maybe listening to the radio. The next time you two are intimate he will be exceedingly gentle with you, and will take extra care to ensure you are more prepared for him before really getting into it.

Deacon:

He would feel really bad to have hurt you enough to impact you like this, but also he would feel just a small twinge of satisfaction at having been able to do so. He'll do his best to take care of you after you tell him about it though, spending the whole day with you in bed, just chatting away, playing little games with you, like “two truths, one lie” or 20 questions and the like. When the time does come for you two to be intimate again, he'll have you take the lead a few times in a row to get an idea of your preferred pacing so he can replicate it better and hopefully not hurt you in the future. But, and he's not particularly proud of this, he will ask your permission to tell some of the others back at HQ what had happened. (He just really just wants to see the look on Carrington’s face, and prove a certain something to Glory about his anatomy. But, of course, he wouldn’t use your name if you didn't want him to. Discretion is this man’s forte, after all).

Hancock:

Is it still considered aftercare if it happens the day after you've had sex? Well, whatever it’s called, Hancock would do all that he can to make up for how he had made you feel. He should know better after all by now, he would feel horrible and try to think back to the way you had reacted to some of his movements in an effort to pinpoint what exactly had hurt you so he could make sure to never do it again. If you wanted chems to numb the pain, he'll surely offer them, and besides that, he'll spend the whole day just looking after you. Holding you close, telling you jokes and stories, making you food, maybe giving you a message, just anything to make you feel better. And when you two are intimate again, he'll be sure to make it up to you. Big time.

MacCready:

Initially, he might feel a distinct sense of pride at having rendered you immobile with his vicious love, but once his brain wraps around the fact that you're actually in pain, he'll feel pretty bad. Maybe not as bad as he should, which he tries to hide, but it's pretty obvious given his little grin he has plastered on his face all day. But he’ll be sure to take good care of you, grabbing snacks and refreshments before curling up next to you with a couple of comic books, really just taking full advantage of the day off. From now on, when the two of you do have sex, he will try to prevent this from happening again by having you be in control for the most part, at least until he learns your body and its limits a bit better. He still might not completely ease up, but he’ll at least make it seem like he’s not as proud of what he’d done as he actually happens to be. And just a heads up, he may just bring up the fact that he was the one who “loved you so hard that you couldn’t walk” at every given opportunity, so just be aware of that.

Nick:

The poor old detective would feel dreadful, this was part of the reason he'd been hesitant to engage in physical acts of intimacy with you in the first place. Even if you assured him it was nothing more than some temporary soreness, he'd have trouble rationalizing being with you intimately for a little while. He would also take an easy day himself so he could keep an eye on you and get you whatever you might need. When you did manage to convince him that you would be okay to have sex again, he would be overly tender and gentle, just to make sure that you know how much your well-being means to him, and to assure you that he would never repeat the actions that had ended up hurting you ever again. As far as he was concerned, he wanted you to wake up feeling good after being with him, to feel satisfied and giddy and maybe just a little tired, but certainly not in pain.

Preston:

Oh lordy, good luck trying to get him to touch you again after he finds out that he hurt you. Initially, his brain would send a little spark of pride to the forefront of his mind when you first told him, but his conscious self would instantly shut it down, disgusted by the fact that it was present at all. He would insist you take the whole day off and would try to keep up on his work while also looking after you in every way possible. You'll really have to work to get him to be with you intimately again anytime soon, as he'll be quite worried about you, and once you do manage to convince him, he'll be extraordinarily gentle and slow. He's very sweet, but you'll have to be patient with him as he pauses with every heavy breath you release, or gasp you take, or moan you utter. Even good noises are scary for him, but don't worry, he'll get back to his usual pace eventually, and now be extra aware of your every reaction to him; which, as it turns out, can be quite handy.

X6-88:

The courser will be conflicted. On the one hand, you were aware that X6’s lovemaking is rough, you've known that from the start, so the two of you wouldn’t be unused to scenarios like this occurring. However, for it to have escalated to physically impairing you enough to prevent you from walking… that made him feel an ache of regret in his chest. Luckily, X6 doesn't miss a thing, and likely will recall which aspects of the night had led to this specific outcome, and he would try to eliminate those factors from future interactions. As for now, he will ensure that you are safe, and as comfortable as possible; he will guard you as you take the day to rest, and will fetch you anything that you require. Normally, when you were hurt, he would recommend paying a visit to the Institute medical facility, but in this case… he would rather try and help you himself if it comes to it. You’re not entirely sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed, or just possessive over certain areas of your body now, but you’d say his crimson cheeks were a bit of a giveaway.

Fallout 3 --

Butch:

On the outside, he would be the prime example of the sympathetic boyfriend. He would apologize and spend the day cuddling with you, playing with your hair, eating snack cakes and drinking nuka cola. On the inside, however, he would feel a certain sense of fulfillment, and would have to consciously hold back the wicked grin that threatened to spill onto his lips at the thought of his lovemaking being wild enough to make it so that you couldn’t walk. He certainly wouldn’t actively try to do it again, but he also wouldn’t necessarily try to prevent it from happening, so just be prepared for anything. But whether or not he’s successful in making you sore again, he’ll fully dedicate himself to caring for you afterwards, ensuring that you’re comfortable and content in his arms at the end of each night.

Charon:

The ghoul can’t say he’s surprised, he did warn you that this might happen, after all. His previous sexual experiences have all been initiated by past employers, so most of them have ranged from pretty negative ordeals to downright violent encounters, and though he'll try to leave that in the past, it's tough for him to let go of it completely since it’s really all he knows. That being said, he will still feel bad about hurting you, and will really try to take more care the next time the two of you are intimate. You'll have to work together on communication and focus more on foreplay in the future, but Charon aims to please, and would never purposefully try to hurt you (unless, of course, if you told him you were into it ;).

Jericho:

He’ll honestly just grin nice and big when you tell him. Sorry. If you wanted tenderness and sympathy, you should probably look into being with someone else. Jericho would consider this to be an achievement on his part, and assure you that this was a sign that the two of you had really done it right. He might complain a bit about having to stay in for the day, but that doesn't mean he won't still take care of you, in his own sort of way. He'll offer you a drink (or a few), or a cigarette (or a whole pack), and would probably just end up falling back into bed next to you and taking a nice, long nap at your side. He wouldn't really promise to change anything the next time the two of you have sex, but he might try to reassure you that it will get easier with more "practice."

Fallout New Vegas --

Arcade:

Oh, he would definitely laugh, because it's a joke. Obviously you're joking with him… right? No!? But-- how? He would be confused by this, and too busy thinking through what he possibly could have done to make you physically unable to walk, to actually address the issue. Once he snaps out of it, he'll ask if you're okay and try to keep his snarky and sarcastic quips to a minimum for the day. As much as Arcade loves giving you a hard time in general, this time he'd be too embarrassed to bring it up. In the event that you do mention it, you'd best be prepared for the pink hue that would adorn, not just his cheeks, nor even his face, but his entire body. When the two of you do have sex again, Arcade will be happy to let you take the lead so you can better control the pacing and keep from hurting yourself at all, (which really is just a win-win scenario, considering the fact that he really prefers you being in control anyway.)

Boone:

His brows would furrow at the news, barely noticeable through his sunglasses, but he would simply set down his rifle and bag and settle back into bed with you. The ex-soldier would curl his arms around you and stay beside you for the remainder of the day, rubbing his arms along your body comfortingly. He’s not big on small talk, but Boone would love to just sit and listen to you ramble all day long. When the evening comes, he’ll be sure to get up and make you both dinner before encouraging you to go to sleep early. Despite his stoic exterior, he's actually quite the tender caretaker. The next time you two are intimate together, he'll consciously focus on being more gentle and controlled with his movements, and certainly won't be shy in making sure you're properly "prepared" for him when he does get a little more rough.

Raul:

Aw, the poor old ghoul would feel horrible about hurting you, the ridge above his eyes would crinkle upwards as he flashed you a sympathetic smile. He'd be a little embarrassed about it as well, feeling like it was rude of him to let his self-control slip enough to have ended up hurting you. He'd take care of you for the day, taking the opportunity to tidy up your living space as he chats with you about anything and everything, telling you stories of his life from before the bombs dropped, teaching you some words in Spanish, and telling cheesy jokes to make you laugh. He would give you a bit of time to recover before agreeing to sleeping with you again, and this time he would suggest either you taking the lead, or using a safe word in case his control started slipping again.

404 notes · View notes

zuluc · 3 years

Text

anonymous requested: hii, would u mind writing smth about reader always sitting on childe, kaeya and xiao’s lap?

pairing: childe, kaeya, xiao x gn!reader

style & genre: bulleted; fluff

warnings: none! just very fluff

notes: i am sorry to everyone’s whose request that i am not writing and the ones that are going to be very, very late! i hope you enjoy the writing these next few days! xiao’s my favorite you guys know this so i got a little carried away

Childe

His arms come automatically around you and he doesn’t even know it. A lot of his love language is really physical touch so this closeness and intimacy between the two of you is something he could never complain about, all of it being natural to him if you do this a lot. If you were a particularly touchy person who’s favorite hang out activity was to simply sit in his lap, he’s all for it.

Since his arms are around you, you can’t expect to just sit there for a few moments and be able to leave as you wish. Well, he’ll try to keep you there unless you need to use the restroom or go off to do a commission and whatnot, otherwise, you’re essentially trapped. You don’t mind, it’s a very protective embrace with his hand either resting on your hips or he’s tucked his head into the crook of your neck, hugging you close to forget the day. If someone were to walk in to the both of you his gentle expression changes and he smiles at them, not very nicely you might say, and they leave just as soon as they had come. Definitely the type to outright tell others to leave if his facial expressions aren’t enough.

For the fun of it he might do the same to you. You could be sitting idly somewhere with nothing to do and he comes up to you to sit in your lap. He’s heavy, you tell him, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, he relaxes even more to make his limbs heavier until you really tell him to get off. He smiles before doing so and lifts you up to carry you off to a more comfortable place so you can lay on him. Does roll you both over to lay on you again because he’s annoying like that.

In public he has no shame. You could be in the middle of talking and walking to your table for dinner and before you can pull out your chair he’s beaten you two it by pulling you into his lab. You’re embarrassed as people are staring but he’s already started on eating what’s there. At least in this situation you’re momentarily distracted by how bad he is at using chopsticks and the bystanders seem to be as well.

Kaeya

He has and always had no shame with skinship. It could be during work when you show up in his office for whatever reason, coming up to his side to move his arm away for you to be comfortably seated in his lap. A small smirk spreads on his face when one hand comes up to hold you steady by your waist and the other keeps writing. He’ll place a few kisses to your cheek and the both of you can talk or stay in silence.

Overall, it’s something he doesn’t mind one bit, much like Childe. The only difference is, he doesn’t mind just how far he goes. Of course, your consent and comfortability are a top priority and from your constant reaches for this type of affection he tries little things here and there to test the waters. He asks you from time to time if it’s okay and limits the bounds when you are both actually in public. People already know you’re together.

When you sit in his lap your back is to his chest and you’re leaning back comfortably. The back of your head rests on his shoulder and you can see from the corner of your eye when he looks at you from time to time as he works, reads, or whatever. If he’s doing something, almost always is one hand somewhere on your body and the other on his task. His favorite part is on your thigh to gently squeeze it to get a reaction. You huff but don’t complain and he takes it as an okay.

So you do it frequently, he doesn’t care. It’s a tender moment between the two of you when he can hold you close and feel your warmth past the layers of clothes. He’ll sit up to cup your face and turn it to him, staring at you with his uncovered eye that holds so many secrets he wishes to spill. But this moment, in this time, is enough for now.

Xiao

He doesn’t initiate any of this himself so your constant want to sit on his lap confuses him in the beginning. At first he says no because he doesn’t know exactly what you want so you opt for sitting beside him with his hand held in between your own. Once he starts to understand, he carefully answers with a “yes” and waits for you to show him. It’s sweet really, he only moves how you move him because he doesn’t want to hurt you accidentally with adeptal strength. You tell him he’s a little stiff, very endearingly, so he relaxes once you settle down on his lap. It’s a little awkward at first being on the floor on the balcony but he doesn’t complain when you’re looking at him.

You like to sit like this and he likes it as well because he can hold you and see your face. Sometimes you like to admire his features, holding your hands up to trace the sides of his face. His own hands, once flat on the ground now trail up your sides, tenderly holding your arms as you continue your ministrations. He reciprocates your actions and mirrors them after you finish and he hopes he can stay in this moment for as long as you both please. If he hears others coming closer to your space he stiffens but you lean forward to hug him and he can’t just leave you now. Usually, no one sees the both of you in this moment.

This is a constant occurrence whenever you visit him at the inn, a welcoming thing to see after a long day of commissions or a job of protecting for him. When he feels you relax and untense he can as well because the most important person in his life is physically under his protection now. He’s watching your back while simultaneously holding you and this feeling is something foreign to him, though not unwelcomed.

There are no words exchanged, only actions. The most tender moments come when at least one of you is entirely exhausted. If you’re tired, he cradles you in his arms, allowing you to rest your head at his collarbones as he gently coaxes you to sleep. The night brings about it’s dangers but he’s Xiao, your lover and your protector. You feel safe with him. As does he with you. When he’s exhausted, he still insists for you to sit in his lap as his form of recharge, which is not sleep, is you. Knowing you’re here, you’re his, and you’re resting is all he needs.

618 notes · View notes

aetherarf · 3 years

Note

If you’re comfortable writing this, can you write a part 2 of the cheating scenario on Diluc’s side where the reader thinks about what he said more after leaving and realizes he didn’t consent to what happened and they go back to him?

Of course!! I guess I ended up making him the more redeemable... i should mention the last part of that story was very much him trying to... well. the warning will tell you.

[[ WARNING: ANGST, MENTION OF SELF HARM, MENTION OF R@PE ]]

[[ Summary: After a mistake, one where he could barely think and essentially poisoned by alcohol... you realize, after some thought, that it wasn't so much he cheated, but he was... sick. Literally.

Part One Here

Word Count: 1'962 ]]

You had left him, in a fit of anger and pain and betrayal. He told you that he cheated, and while, a little later, you could commend him for telling you so bluntly, without any flowery extra dialogue or excuses, only the pure truth...

That doesn't change what happened. If it happened once, it'll happen again.

You sat alone, glad you hadn't taken him up on his offer to move in just yet... You had a few things over there, that you were probably never going to get back... but that was fine. Things could be replaced. Sadly, time couldn't be.

For awhile you just minded your own business, guiltily thinking over everything. Were you good enough? Is that why he cheated? Or were the two of you nothing?

You found yourself walking to the Angel's Share, wanting to see some old friends to talk to... just to feel a little better, but you froze as the door was open--What were you doing, walking right into his establishment that he often bartended...

No, but he wasn't here. Charles was sitting there, and he glanced at you, a look of... pain, perhaps? in his eye, but he said nothing, pouring a mug for some random man, who took it and walked off immediately.

You decided to just leave, without a single word. No one stopped you, but why would they?

That night, you instead went to the Cat's Tail, not touching a drop of alcohol, simply some non-alcoholic, but sugary sweet drinks as you pet the kitties, leaving for a few moments to get them some treats. It was a nice distraction, even if that fluffy red cat in the corner kept reminding you of Diluc...

Moving was sounding like a tempting option, but you'd give yourself a few more days at least before making a serious decision. Your heart was aching and tender, you needed at least a little time.

The next day, you went out, stocked up on food, and did nothing but hide inside from the rest of the world. The next, you didn't even leave, you just hid.

Finally, you decided to try Angel's Share. You weren't as familiar with the people in the Cat's Tail... and maybe Kaeya was there? He knew Diluc better than even you, and he could, maybe, give some outside insight... even if he hated your guts, he could at least shed some light onto the reality.

You dressed oddly, trying to hide from the world in a hood, head lowered. As you walked in, however, you realized this was unnecessary, as Charles was still working the counter.

You took your hood off, and sat at the bar, "Hey, Charles."

"Greetings," he said, having been putting something under the counter as you sat down, "What do you want?"

"Is Kaeya here?" You asked... he looked at you oddly.

"No, left in a rush. Some Knightly business." He probably knew more, he was a smart man who knew when to speak and when to seal his lips.

"... has, uhm," you felt like an idiot, but you wanted to ask, "Has Diluc been around? I haven't heard of anything about him lately." Not a total lie, there was always gossip about him. But--he sighed, and shook his head.

"No one in Mondstadt has seen him in a few days."

Your heart sunk--you aren't even entirely sure why.

"Some wonder if he died, and they're trying to figure what to do with the Winery," He looked at you oddly, "Some say he's sick," He began cleaning a glass, "Some say he's just left on some private business. But that's all I heard."

You knew that, just before... that night, there had been high-strung gossip about some drama, about how Diluc had caused issue with the Knights again ( something thrown drastically out of proportion ), and if there was sudden silence...

"Sorry for taking up your time, thank you, I remembered I have something to do," He just nodded as you pushed yourself up, rushing out of the building.

Charles just shook his head, knowing better to even mutter... someone always liked to listen.

...

"Master Diluc," Adelinde said, her voice soft, "Do you need anything."

"I'm fine." He said, weakly. His skin was pale, and he looked beyond just sick. Too much alcohol, even a glass caused him to spew blood, from his dramatic moment where he wanted to spew out his insides to stop breathing, it had taken a massive toll on his body.

However, he had done little to nothing, too weak to fight it. A broken heart plus physical damage was a battle seldom won. But, he would, somehow, even if another part of him died.

He knew better. After... after what had happened, the only other time he truly tried at intimacy ended to agonizingly, he shouldn't have tried a second time, but he did.

He would not try a third.

The door to his room opened, and Adelinde walked over, the sound of hushed whispers, before it clicked shut and she turned back to Diluc.

"You... have a visitor."

Diluc was silent.

"It's... them." Adelinde said, with no small degree of fear and worry, and for the first time, he pushed himself up--his head was reeling, flopping back onto the bed, his hand over his eye, groaning.

Blood loss did that.

"Did they," he inhaled, "Did they say what they wanted?"

"They said 'just to talk.'

He, much slower this time, shifted to sit up. "Have them sit in the main room and wait, I need a moment."

"Are you alright alone?" She asked, as though it was not the only thing he had asked for. His silence was enough to tell her, and she left the room, the door clicking behind her.

He got dressed--Tempted to wear his normal coat, but he opted for a simple outfit that looked decent enough. He was too tired for anything else. Finally, he got up, and walked slowly, wondering if he should have had you come straight in... but, no, he knew better to ask of that.

You were sitting, waiting and twiddling your thumbs, looking up as he walked by. You stood, but he sat down in a chair near to you, but giving you enough space that you'd have to stand up to reach him...

A tactical move.

You sat back down, trying to just get a little closer.

"I'm very tired," he said, "So please tell me what you need from me."

His words were harsh, he was not trying to send you away, to scare you off. He enjoyed, to a degree, seeing you close once again, but it was agony as well, ripping his heart in two. He would not prolong the conversation, but he would not force it to a halt.

Emotions were hard to endure.

"I-I just... I didn't hear anything about you recently." You were worried.

Were you afraid of having to live with the guilt of an unstable man?

"I'm sick, and weak, but fine. I've just been recovering."

You swallowed thickly, "May I ask what from?"

He hesitated, tugging at his sleeves, wishing he had put on a pair of gloves to fiddle with, "Alcohol reaction. It tore up my insides quite badly." He explained, "I'll be fine in a week or so."

... You knew it hurt him, but... this bad?

"That's... okay." You didn't know what to say... and finally sighed. "I want to... I didn't, I left too soon. I didn't... think about you at all, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I cheated, that's all there was."

If he was honest, he felt disgusted. He didn't... he didn't remember the face of the woman--was it even a woman? But he felt... awful, sick, torn up. Just like...

The first time.

He shuddered.

"Is that all?" He asked.

"I want to know what happened," you stated, half wanting to hope maybe it was a misunderstanding. If he had, while in his drunken, and admittedly air deprived state, kissed some woman and thought it was you... You could forgive that.

However, he just looked down.

"I..." he swallowed thickly, "I don't remember much. I was pressured into drinking alcohol, and I couldn't spit it all out."

"Who pressured you?"

"I don't remember. It was... some sort of tense situation. I think there was a man, and a woman, and she wouldn't drink it. It was... tense... I think I drank it. She was upset, and eventually ran off, I don't remember."

"... Was it drugged?"

Diluc's eyes widened for a moment.

"I," he struggled to think, "That may have been why I drank it, to... stop her from drinking it."

You were scared to hear the rest of the story.

"I drank it, Charles was there, and I went to the back. I don't-everything was fuzzy. Someone's mouth... on me, then they..."

There were tears in his eyes, and he wobbled a little in his seat.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't think I can keep speaking, it... hurts."

"It hurts?"

He nodded, tears on his face, with all the vulnerability of a young child who was scared and alone.

You weren't stupid.

"Did you... want it?" You asked, and he shook his head,

"No," he was choked up, openly crying as he tried to hide it, "No, no... I didn't."

You didn't care about this distance, standing up, gently resting your hand on his leg, and then holding him. He hugged you, but he felt so weak.

"I'm so sorry," You felt yourself tearing up--you had to be strong. Not only did something horrific happen to him, which he could scarcely speak of, but you had made it all worse by punishing him for it.

"I want to be there for you, I want to take care of you... I'm sorry, I fucked up. I understand if you're upset, or mad, and if you don't forgive me..."

Suddenly, and for only a moment, his hug had crushing force, pulling you closer.

"I just don't want to be alone."

"You won't be alone," you cooed, sweetly, "Do... you want to go to bed?"

He nodded, weakly whimpering, and you helped him to his feet, the two of you walking ahead to the bedroom--Not missing how badly he struggled. You knew his allergy to alcohol was bad, but this bad?

You made your way in, ignoring the harsh and confused looks of the staff, shutting the door behind you.

Everything looked the same as you left, and you helped him sit down, how he... slumped, weakly.

"Do you want to get undressed?"

Slowly, he nodded, and you started with his shirt, pulling it off, tossing it to the side, resolving to let the maids deal with it later... But, you froze, seeing bandages on his arms, you grabbing his hand and pulling it a little closer to you, looking at it.

"What happened?" You asked, and he was... quiet.

"I felt..." He was trying to think, and refused to look at you, "Unclean. I... In a moment, I... thought I could claw it off."

"... Is this why you're so weak."

Slowly, he nodded, and then looked up at you with the look of a puppy that was about to be punished, "Are you mad at me?" He asked, voice aquiver as he was about to cry.

Are you mad, you thought, yes, but only at whoever hurt you.

"No," you said, sitting down beside him, hugging him, feeling him lean his weight into you, "But I want you to look for help, someone who can help you."

He nodded, still weakly holding onto you.

"I didn't think it'd happen again."

Again. How horrifying a single word could be.

"You don't have to deal with it by yourself, this time."

#genshin impact #diluc #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #genshin diluc x reader #angst #angsty bark #hurt and comfort #// thats a tag now #bark writes #???#fluffy bark #// for the end #// tossing in some other messed up hcs i also have but havent talked about

407 notes · View notes

lasquadrasfuckhouse · 3 years

Note

hello i hope it’s ok to request this, but I can’t stop thinking about that like really pure tender-emotional sex with la squadra— I was wondering if I could request that as either hc’s ( or a fic with melone or prosciutto if you get a muse for it ) I don’t know if that’s enough to go on but aa the sappy thoughts are running around my head ; v ; ) please and thank you ( unrelated but I love your blog and hope you have a wonderful day/night 💘 )

OK FIRST OF ALL THIS POST MADE IT INTO MY DREAMS i dreamt that i was answering this and one of the points i wrote for ghiaccio was 'don't worry he can handle it he's a gamer' WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???????

BUT!!! TOTALLY OK TO REQUEST IT I AM A SUCKER FOR TENDER EMOTIONAL SEX

and thank u sm afjglfndng i hope ur day/night is wonderful too 🥺❤️❤️❤️💕 even tho i think u sent this like maybe over a week ago time isn't real fjgkfkfj I HOPE UR CURRENT AND ALL FUTURE DAYS R GOOD. here are some hcs for u!!!!!

la squadra and lovemaking ❤️

18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

risotto ✂️

he absolutely craves intimacy. goin hard and gettin freaky is super fun obviously but to him the best, most fulfilling and satisfying sex is when he and his partner are just close as can be in every way

he wants to open up. create a space like that for him, where he knows he's as safe with you as you are with him, and you'll really see the incredibly gentle, loving, and passionate side of risotto. he knows how he presents himself outwardly, as cold and intimidating, but the thought of everyone seeing him as just that--or worse, seeing himself as just that--makes him feel empty and he hates it.

so be his safe haven where he can express just how damn loving he is, openly acknowledge that side of him and embrace it, love it wholeheartedly, and let him know that you know he keeps you safe in turn not just with his ferocity, but his softness. he'll be so full of love he'll wonder how he ever could have felt empty.

he'll want to make love face to face, looking into each other's eyes, kissing soft and deep, and just absolutely basking in how you make each other feel. he'll want to take his time to feel every single inch of you and leave nothing untouched. he could do this for hours and hours, all day really, and he's almost achingly gentle. do the same for him, feel and love his whole self, let him know that he is precious and deserves to be treated with care; his expression will go so soft (and he is more expressive like this). the way he makes his partner cum isn't just physical, it's euphoria and love felt in every way and he'll want to carry them there as many times as they want because he just wants to make them feel as loved as they make him feel

he's just quiet by nature so he still doesn't say much, he'd rather express himself in other ways and you're connecting so deeply that you hardly need words (depeche mode enjoy the silence plays tenderly in the distance) and he loves that, he loves that intimacy. but he will, as least once, maybe while you're getting him close, whisper an i love you.

you also get him smiling with his cute dimples, because of course you do. and tell him genuinely that he's cute; he doesn't hear it often, and it makes him feel loved. he'll be head over heels.

he'll hold you very close for a long time after, just being with you. he'll stroke your back and feel your heartbeat against his, there's something so beautiful and intimate about it. you make him so happy. he's really warm too, perfect for snuggling!!!!

prosciutto 🚬

his caring nature always comes out at least at some point during sex, but especially when you make love. the tricky part for him is letting himself be cared for, too. he gets a bit nervous about it in all honesty, and that's less about guarding himself and more about guarding everyone else.

help him see there's nothing to worry about. you know you're safe and loved with him always, that doesn't change when he allows himself to be cared for, and in fact brings a whole new level of emotional safety to the table when you connect like that. remind him in no uncertain way that he deserves it, too. remind him that he's human, and show that you want to feel human with him in any way he'll share with you. and of course, he wants that with you. he trusts you completely, and once it really clicks that it's a matter of trust too, it's much easier for him to settle into.

there's something so special and unique about the connection you two make when he lets his walls down in that way. he never could have imagined how amazing it is to let go with you, it's nothing he's ever felt before and he can't get enough of it.

he loves to give, he gives wholeheartedly and unabashedly, and he'll receive your love without hesitation too

the forehead touch. always the forehead touch. it's his way of connecting and showing affection. he may also nudge your noses together and close his eyes to just soak in your presence. if you initiate it, he'll melt.

he embraces imperfection with you and it feels so damn good. he'll get a bit more vocal--not necessarily louder, but breathy whines and whimpers and soft moans. he may get playful too, give sweet little laughs about how you're making him sound and kissing the tip of your nose. you get real smiles out of him with that adorable tooth gap. tell him it's adorable and kiss his cheeks, and he'll laugh again and smile wide and genuinely in that way that ur eyes close too cause ur just so happy u kno

he feels so, so fucking loved and it's so beautiful to him. he tells you as much when you're laying there afterwards and he's admiring every inch of you, every mark, blemish or scar, everything that isn't exactly even, admiring your beautiful soul. and he basks as you do the same for him. he'll thank you for sharing this little piece of humanity with him.

pesci 🎣

soft sex is his favourite. sex as a way of feeling close with the person he loves is what vibes with him the most, as an act of emotion and of loving and being loved in return.

it's a lot easier for him to be confident with that kind of sex/perspective on sex, because he knows he can just tap into his emotions and those of his partner. he really shines here, and he may still get a bit flustered because it's sex and sex with you and you're so fucking gorgeous in every imaginable way, but you still get to see this whole other side of him where he's just so comfortable in his skin and it's both really hot and really endearing.

he stops sort of separating or thinking too hard on just the physical or the mental or anything else, and expresses his love on all levels of being in a way that just lights you both up. he thinks being with you in this way is heaven on earth and he will let you know it.

he can make love with you like this anywhere soft and quiet and private, but aside from your bed, he loves the bath. he loves bath sex in general for the warmth and wetness and intimacy, and especially when you're connecting in this way, it's like.... he wouldn't consider himself to be poetic or particularly spiritual, but there's just something special about making love in water, maybe because we're all born from water, we all need water to live, all life on earth came first from the water. it's just something he thinks about.

he'll want to be face to face; he loves watching your face because seeing you in pleasure is so beautiful to him, he'll want to see your eyes flutter closed and open and commit the look you give him to memory, soft and sort of honeyed-hazy y'know but bright because you love him, and you're loved by him, and he can see it in you. he'll want to hold hands too, and twine your fingers together.

words come a lot easier to him like this too, because he knows there's nothing to hide and nothing to worry about, so he'll just murmur throughout about how much he loves you, how good you make him feel in every way, how he wants to make you feel like that too. show him that he does; he'll kiss you so softly and with so much love that he feels like he could burst.

he's just so soft and gentle in every way. he'll want to still just hold your hand for a long time afterwards.

formaggio 🧀

he's very emotionally in tune, that connection u create with a partner no matter how casual is a huge part of his enjoyment of sex, so he absolutely loves taking all the time in the world to just feel each other in every way and be so emotionally close with you

he often likes to feel like a big macho guy taking care of his babe but he loves being taken care of too because he can experience another side of your connection (and it's just nice!!!!), so when he really makes love with his partner he can feel sort of both at the same time and he loves it. he just feels so entwined with you.

he's still playful, it's in his nature. but when y'all get really tendie he'll be especially gentle with how he plays around. he'll tweak your nose and kiss your neck to hear you giggle, he just loves to make his partner laugh and he's laughing and smiling too

he also still talks a lot, he murmurs about how much he loves you and how incredible you are, how you make him feel amazing in every way, he'll list off all the little things he notices about you that he's just so fond of. he doesn't tease as much, he just grounds himself in the moment with you. it's also really hot and sweet to hear his words trail off with little laughs or sighs or soft moans.

he also has a lot of cute pet names for his partner, and he does still use them but when you get really soft like this he'll often just murmur or moan your name more than anything and there's something so intimate about it

overall you'll see an even more genuine side of formaggio (and he's already a pretty down to earth dude) because he really just feels most at ease when he's surrounded by love

he'll snuggle and kiss you and lay around for a long time afterwards, play with your hair, stroke your back, talk about everything and nothing and how much he loves you. his wandering hands may lead to more lovemaking; he just can't get enough of you.

illuso ✨

it takes a lot for illuso to open up like that. he's extremely guarded with his emotions. he very much desires softness, and there's something about being bare (more than just physically) that really draws him in, but he'd need a lot of trust to get there.

and it's not just him trusting you that's part of the equation either; he isn't used to being trusted. show him honestly that you trust him, and treat every glimpse of genuineness from him with love, and it'll go right to his heart. he's unused to being really seen, so if you see who he is and choose to openly share your heart with him, he'll be smitten.

ask him to just be with you, and he will, he'd love nothing more. reassure him that he doesn't have to think so much; you can both just let go and feel. you'll see a side of illuso where he's just in awe and a really pure sort of wonder of what you create together, this little moment in time and space, this experience across all states of being.

you absolutely make love in the mirror world. it's illuso's safe haven, and he wants it to be yours as well, it's an entire world where there's no one and nothing but the two of you and the love you make and that's so special to him. he'll want to take his time, and with no possible interruptions, he can. you spend hours together; he goes very slow and very gentle. he just wants you to know how precious you are to him, and how much he wants to be with you.

you'll explore every single inch of each other. he'll kiss you absolutely everywhere, and not just in the obvious places; he'll kiss your palms, your fingers, your closed eyelids, every mark on your skin. when he kisses your lips, it ranges everywhere from a mere brush to open-mouthed, deep, and languid. treat him with the same slow, thorough care, and he'll melt.

he doesn't tease. he'll probably be pretty quiet, but once he whispers that he loves you, he'll find himself just telling you all his inner thoughts, everything he loves about you and everything you make him feel: truly beautiful in a way he'd hardly experienced before, safe, so genuinely loved. if you express the same to him, that you feel his love for you in every little way he shows it and cares, that you see and feel his whole self and love him in his entirety, that he makes you feel precious, he will feel precious too. he may actually cry a bit. he's just so happy with you.

he's the kind of guy who likes to watch everything, but he's not sure what to do now: see the love in your eyes or close his eyes to bask in it. he opts to just go with the flow of the moment. he's completely open and unguarded, his hair is loose (if you run your fingers through it he'll sigh sweetly), he'll give you these genuine smiles, you'll get real little laughs out of him, and every sound he makes (including the way he murmurs your name) is so soft.

he can't stop smiling after, he'll hold you and play with your hair, and eventually draw a nice bath for you to share

melone 🍈

he absolutely loves soft, emotional sex. of course he likes being kinky and stuff too, but human sexuality as a whole is so fascinating to him, sex is such a beautiful experience in his eyes and he's very eager to explore different expressions of it. it's really interesting to him how you can define making love as something different than fucking when it's all still sex.

he loves the connection it brings. it's such a deep, personal way to feel close with someone and he wants that with you, he wants to explore each other in every way. he loves to learn new things about his partner and finds it so intimate when they learn about him too, whether it's something you've always done that he's just putting his finger on or it's a new development, like the particular way you roll your hips or how your eyes squeeze shut when you cum. point out a subtle habit of his too, like how his breath stutters when you do something he really likes; it makes him feel cared for. but even if there's nothing new to notice, he loves the comfort of your familiarity, too.

he's very open with it, you don't have to wonder what he's thinking about. he'll be murmuring softly about your beauty, how much he cherishes you, how you make him feel cherished too, how good you're making him feel. he wants to know if he's making you feel good, too. tell him so--better yet, show him--and let him know that you feel his love for you, that you feel cared for and safe. he'll smile and give you a long, sweet kiss. tell him anything and everything you're thinking of, he wants to know you in mind, body and soul.

and he is spiritually open and explorative and it fascinates him to think of sex as an act of creation, and even if it isn't sex to make new life it's making love, it's making a bond, and that's a special sort of creation too. he loves to create with you. he understands how it could be viewed as sort of divine.

he loves to care for you, and being cared for in turn makes him putty. knowing that he's truly loved is one of the best feelings ever and it really just makes him wanna cover your face in kisses tbh. which he does, and he laughs hearing you laugh cause you bring him joy.

he's also still loud when he cums but that doesn't make it any less soft and tender tbh because he's just wholeheartedly falling into the bliss you give him, he'll cry out your name and how much he loves you between moans.

he'll want to do this all day if that's what you want too. eventually when you're done, he'll cuddle you, kiss you, and still murmur all his thoughts to you while you both trace patterns in each other's skin.

ghiaccio ❄️

he gets really flustered about soft, emotional sex at first. not just because he's being vulnerable with you, but you're being vulnerable with him, and it's you, and he cares about you so much.

part of him is almost kind of worried he'll never be gentle enough. help him see that's not true, because he absolutely is gentle with you; he knows he can be brash which is why he's always so careful with you, especially in softer moments. you also love him for who he is, in his entirety, and that makes his heart glow. you trust him, and he trusts you.

ghiaccio is passionate, and he can still express that fire in him softly and tenderly. he'll hold your face in both hands while he kisses you, and while he doesn't necessarily kiss hard, he's thorough, and it mellows out into something very soft and subtle before he pulls away. his pace is slowed a lot, because he wants to just feel you in every way; he really relaxes into the rhythm of something slow and gentle, but still passionate, holding your gaze with his hands never leaving your body. thinking of sex as a way to express your love for each other, he can't help but slow down and be soft, cause it's you.

he also can't help but make noise, soft as it may be, and say your name. he doesn't half ass important things, and you're so, so important to him, so he just completely wraps himself in your love and does the same for you. express that, with him, you know you're loved and safe; he'll want to kiss you again and again and again until you're both breathless.

may not talk as much, because soft words don't really come easily to him and he's sort of self-conscious about it, but once he gets really into it and he does start talking he doesn't stop: he'll say how much he loves you and how badly he just wants to show that to you, how you're so hot and gorgeous and loving, and he doesn't really think of them as flowery words because they're just truth, and his penchant for honesty is such a wonderful way to know you're loved

ghiaccio honey why on earth were u worried about not being gentle. after he's cum once or twice and he's gotten some energy out he is so, so gentle, he'll take care of you so tenderly and kiss you softly. he just wants to be close with you.

his cuddly side always comes out after sex and he'll be no different now. he'll press you against him and hook his chin over your shoulder and tangle your legs together, his cuddles are the best. you definitely get him smiling too, cause you make him happy.

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're both fucking crazy in nearly all aspects of life and that includes sex, but they're also very passionate and very in love with each other and with you; they're no strangers to tender, emotional sex and they love it because it's such a wonderful way to be so deeply close.

they have no problems being bare and open with you. they're so in their feelings all the time that it feels really natural; they'll very openly express how much they love you, all the ways they love you, how deep and powerful that love feels that they just want to surround all of you in it.

gelato is more talkative in that sense, he'll spill all his feelings in between kisses with his hands on either side of your face. sorbet will give you a long, slow, deep kiss, meet your eyes, and place your hand over his heart while your foreheads touch. you just know.

you're all tracing every inch of each other while you make love, they want to know everything because they just can't get enough of you, the entire world is the three of you. they're absolutely basking in your attention, too; kiss every scar and let them know how beautiful they are to you, that you see them and you love them, that they have your heart as much as you have theirs. they'll melt.

you're safe with them. let them know that you feel how deeply they love you and you feel their safety, and that they're safe with you too, that they're precious. having you and each other as their safe havens and being taken care of makes them feel so damn much.

they'll both still get very playful, they can never take anything too seriously and they just love you so much, they want you all to have fun together. gelato will absolutely do that thing where he kisses down ur front like he's gonna go down on u and then blow a raspberry on your tummy to make you squeak (but then he does still go down on you and doesn't break eye contact the whole time so you can see how fucking much he loves you and wants to make you feel good). if you're ticklish, sorbet will definitely sneakily tickle you, or do something really good while you're in the middle of murmuring something to hear you devolve into moans. then he'll press his loving smirk against your skin. they wanna get you both laughing and moaning, it's the best sound in the world to them, and they'll be right there with you.

gelato is still loud when he laughs and when he cums but it's so sweet and charming because that's just who he is and he's absolutely embracing how you both make him feel. sorbet is the quieter one, but he'll hum and sigh and murmur your names because he loves how they feel in his mouth. he will also whisper to both of you that he loves you because he just wants to say it in every way.

they can go all day and they'll absolutely want to. if one of you needs a break, you'll just watch the other two and kiss them and hold them, the way you all love each other is so beautiful to them. when you're all well and truly done, you'll be tangled in a heap (they are always very cuddly) and they'll both be smiling as they just lazily caress and kiss you and each other.

#THIS WAS SO SWEET AND I HAD SO MUCH FUN THANK U FOR THE ASK 😭❤️#la squadra #la squadra x reader #not safe fw #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #illuso #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #vento aureo #ask

207 notes · View notes

360iris · 3 years

Text

NSFW Alphabets: Sirius Black (Poly!Marauders Edition)

In which Sirius is in a polyamorous relationship with James, Remus, yourself and Lily.

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s the type that almost immediately launches into your specific after-sex routine. He’ll leave the holding and kissing part to the others while he gets warm rags and a pitcher of water.

Makes sure you’re all cleaned up and having a clean set of sleeping clothes on; might even fix your hair so it’s not all over your head depending on how crazy the night was.

Very much the quietly caring type.

B - Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite aspect of himself is his hair, he devotes so much time, money and care into keeping it soft and long. He loves when you or the others play in it (despite how many times he might grumble, it’s an act). Not to mention when he’s giving oral and you pull at his roots? He’ll work even harder to please you.

His favorite aspect of you are your hands. He loves that you’re almost all hands, always subconsciously grabbing for him; it makes him feel wanted, needed even. Enjoys when your hands are in his hair, holding his own, or mischievously drifting over his thighs.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

He loves seeing you swallow, there’s just something hot about it that gets him going? He also gets a kick out of coming on your chest, thighs or butt? It’s probably a marking territory type of thing.

D - Dirty Secret

Extreme throat fucking is probably his favorite way to get off. Forcing himself down your throat until your lips are touching his base and then holding you there by the hair at the base of your neck until you’re crying from the strain? Most definitely his thing.

When he has to pull out for a second to let you cough and try to catch your breath, he’d 100% spend the time degrading you.

“It wasn’t even that long, stop you sniveling and get back over here. Didn’t you say you wanted to be good for me?”

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Very! Probably the most experienced out of all the Marauders.

The man is downright gorgeous, with the darkest onyx locks that fall past his shoulders; not to mention a tongue and wit that’s sharper than a sword. Interested partners flocked to him and he got plenty of physical use out of those encounters, but he never paid mind to them emotionally. His heart was set on particular group of dummies.

He knows what he’s doing and knows how to pinpoint what you like by watching your reactions. He’s very adaptable and changes his approach around your needs. A very sexually intelligent and intuitive partner.

F - Favorite Position

Doggy style for when you’re being punished, it’s a way to distance the intimacy and focus on the act. Also allows for easy spankings.

The Ballet Dancer and the Upstanding Citizen are his usual go-to positions bc they allow for face-to-face interaction.

He loves getting to see your reactions during sex, not only does it allow him to gauge how to best please you, but also gives him a sense of satisfaction to see you come undone up close.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc?)

His during sex humor is usually derived from him degrading you. He’ll laugh at you for how whiny and needy you’re being or for how quickly you came. He enjoys being a sarcastic asshole.

H - Hot Spots (A place that drives them crazy when touched)

Massaging his scalp really gets him going regardless of if he’d directly admit it or not. The second your fingers begin caressing gentle circles in his hair, he’s melting into a puddle. Very puppy of him to be honest.

Rubbing the back of his ears probably gets him too, I have a feeling they’re quite sensitive to touch.

I - Intimacy (How are they in the moment, romantically?)

His intimacy is very serious, all lingering steely stares, face-to-face closeness and caressing of your hips. His love is quietly passionate and searing.

Because of his childhood and being disowned at sixteen, he’s been very weary of caring about others. He had Remus and James and that was enough for him. He could love them freely and know it wouldn’t burn him.

With you however, he couldn’t begin to control his love. The way you seemed to understand who he was at his core. The way he could love you no matter the weather or the consequences. The way your opinion of him never swayed, even when he was hurting the most.

His love for you is the unsung and unspoken kind, no need for the words because you can feel his adoration through his actions. Through his unwavering stares and tender caresses.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He’s not obsessed with it, but if he’s feeling particularly overstimulated in the mornings or after a Quidditch match, he just might stroke himself in the showers. He could also be into the idea of mutual masturbation.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Impact play + sadism

He enjoys seeing the aftermath of sex. The bruises on your thighs, love-bites on your neck and the lingering redness on your butt.

Corruption kink

Remus was the first partner you’d had before he’d introduced you to his friends. Sirius loved seeing how they slowly trained you into becoming more confident and sexually aware.

Degradation

The process of getting you to point where all your inhibitions are abandoned and the only thing you can even think of wanting is him, thrills him like no other. All shame, embarrassment or guilt gone.

Voyeurism

Whether it’s in an abandoned classroom, the library or an empty hallway, he loves the anticipation; the paranoia and pleasure in your eyes.

L - Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere but his favorite has to be abandoned classrooms. Your button-up wrinkled, skirt hiked up and figure bent over a desk. What can be better than that?

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

His love for you motivates him like no other. The need to see you under him with watery eyes and puffy lips begging him to do something, anything.

N - No (Something they won’t do, turn offs)

Big no to bodily fluids that aren’t spit. Doesn’t do CNC, he wants his partners to be eager and willing so even the act of genuinely not wanting it turns him off.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s fine with either because they give him a different sense of pleasure. He’s very observant so once he’s assessed what pleases you the most, he leans into that hard until you’re shaking.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Slow but impacting, allowing you both to savor the way he slides into you. The pain of the stretch but also the pleasure of the veins and ridges of his length.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

He’s definitely not the type to say no to a quickie unless he’s intentionally playing a long game. Usually he has no problem pulling you away from to group to fuck in a random broom closet.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks, etc?)

He’s all for trying new positions or fucking in different locations. By no means is he vanilla.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Three rounds at most on a good day! He could probably last an hour or two, with foreplay and all.

T - Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themselves?)

He has dildo for himself when he wants to masturbate or for when he lets you peg him. The rest of the toys are for the sole purpose of overstimulation either you or himself.

U - Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

A teaser one hundred percent! The power edging gives him over you is intoxicating. Denying you release until you’re sobbing makes him overly giddy. Definitely the time when he’s smiling the widest.

V - Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

Grunts, curses and sighs are the most you can get from him regularly. Introducing vibrators can easily change that however.

W - Wild Card (Random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s secretly into pet play? Loves reminding you that bunnies don’t make noise. You can bet on pastel collars, lingerie and tail butt plugs (if you’re into of course.)

X - X-Ray (What’s going on under those clothes)

A very lean torso, he’s not insanely built but definitely has firm muscles. Very nice abs from all those years of obsessively playing Quidditch.

His penis is about 6-7 inches hard, a few veins along the length of it with a protruding, pink tip.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Average, he’s not always thinking about sex but he’d never turn down an advance from you or the others. I’d say a healthy amount.

Z - ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

Pretty quickly? He’s not one to stay up chatting so I’d drift off after making sure you’re all comfy and properly taken care of.

#sirius black smut #sirius black #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #harry potter headcanon #the marauders x reader #the marauders #poly!marauders #poly marauders #remus lupin x reader x sirius black #remus lupin x james potter x sirius black #james x lily x remus x sirius x reader #Harry Potter #hp #hp smut #hp fluff

420 notes · View notes