“When the throne of God is overturned, the rebel realizes that it is now his own responsibility to create the justice, order, and unity that he sought in vain within his own condition, and in this way to justify the fall of God.”
"I've never even heard of these!" said Ponder Stibbons. "The possibilities are amazing!"
"Everyone says that when they first hear about them," said the Senior Wrangler. "But when you've been a wizard as long as I have, my boy, you'll learn that as soon as you find anything that offers amazing possibilities for the improvement of the human condition it's best to put the lid back on it and pretend it never happened."
From season 1 to 15, Dean is constantly learning from his previous experiences:
He used to not talk about things that bothered him in early seasons but then he slowly learns to open up in later seasons and listens to people when they need a safe space to be vulnerable.
From the very beginning, Dean is shown to be the one getting lasting relationships. He's the one that gets close to people and we know that because the show puts extra emphasis on showing those relationships flourish.
The reason for that is because he gives himself room to improve: he listens, gets to know people, and creates a profound bond w/ them. He makes an active effort to be on the same page as them. He can read people.
He could tell something was off with Cas when he was under Naomi's control.
He could tell when Sam was not okay.
He always knew how to speak to kids:
It shows adaptation on his side, he's making an effort to relate to these kids (through his own experiences.) They meet him on the same ground because Dean makes sure they know they can trust him.
That doesn't mean he understood everyone but that only proves that he pays more attention to how people feel in later seasons.
He instantly knew something was off with Charlie and he knew how to approach her when she had to let go of her mom.
Even after the events of season 10, he ended up having a closer relationship with Claire.
Even if he doesn't admit it, he knew how to get to Jack.
Dean and Cas are the heart of this. Dean started to open up more thanks to Cas and Cas started to feel human emotions because of Dean.
They both allowed vulnerability around them and encouraged the other to let go of the idea of dealing with their problems on their own. They both learned to love and appreciate who they are by letting the other in their space/heart.
This brings me to link his understanding of his emotions to his sexuality.
People in the fandom have already established that Dean is not NOT letting himself feel. He doesn't suppress his feelings. He is restraining them and that's a different thing:
he's attracted to both men and women but he chose to not show it. He's emotionally aware of how as a man he's perceived by society and actively choose to display only one side of him, the side that fits into the heteronormativity of society.
Now let's talk about the purgatory scene:
he knew he had anger issues a long time ago and he didn't talk about it with anyone.
For a very long time, he doesn't talk to anyone at all. He doesn't talk to Sam because he doesn't want to be a burden, as the older sibling myself, I can confirm that it's a common thing.
However, things change when Cas comes around. It is significant because the dynamic is different, with him Dean gets to be vulnerable. Cas allows Dean to be wholeheartedly himself or at least we get to see glimpses of that other side of him he's so good at concealing.
So, even if he's still not letting everyone in, with Cas it's different. When he's on his knees praying to him, he admits he always knew he had anger issues and not talking about them was a choice. He is aware of it, which demands a certain grasp of human emotions.
He also says that he doesn't know why. Or maybe he knows. It just wasn't the time for him to talk about it since he was scared to lose Cas. I believe, if the show had the guts to go there, dean would have been able to just be who he always wanted to be.
All that to say that most of the time, when he gets angry it doesn't necessarily means that it's about the actual actions of the other person like in s15 with Cas. He's aware that it's not about Cas, it had nothing to do with him, it's about what he felt internally.
Throughout the show, he learns to be more in touch with his feelings. He learns to recognize and process and channel them in a way that benefits him and those around him. That is a sign that he improved his emotional intelligence.
Dean never got to people through violence, it was always by opening his heart.
the uncapitalised i, is so much more beautiful than being grammatically correct. it is raw. it shows the smallness of being human, it reeks of vulnerability. urgency. recklessness. Desperately needing to speak, express, write, without worry for grammar.
Nothing is given to men, and the little they can conquer is paid for with unjust deaths. But man's greatness lies elsewhere. It lies in his decision to be stronger than his condition. And if his condition is unjust, he has only one way of overcoming it, which is to be just himself.
Albert Camus, Resistance, Rebellion, and Death (The Night of Truth)
There must be possible a fiction which, leaving sociology and case histories to the scientists, can arrive at the truth about the human condition, here and now, with all the bright magic of the fairy tale - Ralph Ellison
If you want to get a head full of thoughts today, try this:
“We know that language helps not just communicate with others, but also helps us categorize and it also gives us some sense of consistency and continuity over time,” Rossano said. In other words, self-awareness and language could be connected, as language gives one an ability to communicate a sense of self.
Also it’s about a talking dog who’s asking “Dog what dog is?” and wondering why she’s a dog.
I have always loved using stained glass as a metaphor for the human condition. Taking fragments of different things and sticking them together to form a whole. Its what we do and what we are simultaneously. Frankenstein would have envied the monsters we are. The pictures we make. And how beautiful when seen in the light.