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rayadraws · 3 years

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So october is the traditional month of doing art challenges, though there are also others throughout the years, such as fandom countdowns and such. I have partaken in quite a few, including doing month-long daily ones in october for the last 6 years in a row.

There are many reasons why challenges like these, whether long or short, can be daunting. Why they can be hard or impossible to finish. Life happens! And at the end of the day they should be fun, not a chore. You never HAVE to do them and you probably shouldn’t if they cause you stress. But having said that, if someone wants tips to make them a little more manageable, here are a few things I’ve learnt over the years that work for me:

1. Plan ahead and set defined goals. What are you trying to achieve here? Are you following a prompt list? If it’s a more open challenge, I recommend to choose 1-2 things that will be your main focus. And be realistic about it. ”I will draw 31 full colour detailed backgrounds in a month” is not realistic. But ”I will practice drawing one object I can use in a background/as part of a larger composition 31 days in a row” is something that is much more doable. So instead of drawing a fully furnished room every day, for instance, maybe you’re drawing a chair one day and a potted plant the next. Or you want to focus on learning to use an art tool and the subject isn’t important, you’re just testing out different brushes every day, etc. As another example, my personal goal during october this year is to practice drawing kisses. That’s it. Well, and they will all be digital because that’s faster/easier for me and they will all be of my OTP because that’s The Law (and I could probably draw them in my sleep, which also helps!).

2. Plan ahead part 2: okay, you’re going to draw every day for a month… when, exactly? ”Whenever I feel like it” is setting yourself up for failure. If you can, decide beforehand exactly when during the day you’re going to sit down to work on your challenge. Also, if you’re a perfectionist, consider limiting that daily time to fight burnout. Spending hours a day on a month-long challenge is not reasonable. But spending 20 minutes might be, depending on your schedule. Plan some more. What limits are you putting on yourself here? Are you going to create a drawing from scratch starting new every day? Ow, that’s rough. I usually start at least a few weeks before every challenge to look over the prompts and make at least rough sketches for every day, so I can go straight to inking/colouring the drawing every day without having to think up a new idea/composition every day. For countdowns, I might finish several/all drawings before the countdown actually starts, if possible. I also know I have the most energy in the morning so when possible I draw before heading to work. Sometimes even setting my alarm to give myself extra time if I know I’ll be home late.

3. Plan ahead part 3: Use every shortcut to save time/effort. Use references. Draw familiar things. Play with composition and angles and focus on what’s important and crop out all the rest. Sometimes a highly cropped view is the most striking, anyway. Pressed for time? Hide sections in dark shadows rather than stressing over small details. Do limited colour palettes, skip shading if you want to, etc. For instance, for me drawing chibis is faster/easier so I almost always draw them for multi-day challenges. I do black and white unless I have the time AND feel extra inspired. Last I do is usually to look at tomorrow’s prompt and make sure I have something to work with.

4. Validation is tough. Honestly, this one could be a whole post on its own. But needing outside validation to keep creating is something that is both natural and problematic. My advice would be to remind yourself that you are ideally doing this primarily for own own growth and to, if possible, find a smaller group of likeminded friends to cheer each other on, rather than relying on the nameless void of the internet. Algorithms are a bitch and vary between platforms, too. Additionally, a personal observation on my own art at least has been that I often get more feedback at the beginning of a challenge than the middle/end. Don’t lose hope.

5. Be kind to yourself. Remember, this should be fun and help you develop your skills further. If that’s not happening, you need to change some aspect of it. Imho, it should never go from ”challenging” to ”a chore”. Set yourself up for success, whatever that looks like for you.

Remember, you’re doing this for yourself.

#this is not aimed at any one person btw #these are musings I have every year when I do these challenges #i see so many people hating on them and I don’t… feel that way about them?#and I’ve been trying to figure out where they most often go wrong for everyone

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oikawaplssteponme · 3 years

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Incomparable Beauty

pairing: Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: sfw, mention of insecurities

genre/AU: fluff, light academia (?) [i highly recommend imagining Izuku in light academia fashion, including some glasses ;) ], aged up characters [third-years]

word count: ~3.4K

synopsis: The young and talented photographer, Izuku Midoriya, is searching for a muse for his next entry in an art gallery. Of course, there seems to be one person who inspires him most of all.

a/n: hi hi <3 shoutout to my lovely 🍥 and ☕️ anons for requesting/helping me figure out this izuku fluff! i am really proud of this so i hope you all like it <3 reblogs are super helpful and id love to hear your thoughts on it. enjoy xx

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Izuku Midoriya looked up at the golden-pink sky. He stared into the abyss, hoping to think of something worth capturing. He adjusted the thin glasses that rested upon his face. He sighed and sat up, grabbing his notebook. Inside were hundreds of scribbles, sketches, and ideas that never seemed good enough. He looked to his right, where his camera laid. He wished that it could just take the pictures itself and create something jaw dropping. Still, a camera is nothing without a photographer. Furthermore, a photographer is nothing without a muse.

Izuku gathered his things as he headed back inside, making his way to his dorm. He was frustrated. He only had one week left to submit something into the Tokyo Gallery for Promising Artists, and even then it wasn't a guarantee that he would be selected. Maybe he should send an old piece he thought. He did have a few that he was proud of, but unfortunately, none of them fit the required theme of the gallery.

Izuke had his hands full as he attempted to open his dorm room door. You were making your way up the stairs when you spotted him. Izuku dropped his notebook, loose pages now scattered across the floor. You rushed over.

“Great…” he sighed. You quietly began to pick up the sheets of papers. Izuku froze.

“Midoriya, here,” you smiled, handing him his notebook. His cheeks flushed a rosy pink. He took his notebook back with shaky hands.

“Thank you Y/N.”

“Is all that for the gallery? I heard that you were entering,” you smiled. Izuku chuckled.

“It is but by the looks of it, I won’t be submitting anything. I still haven't come up with anything good enough,” he explained.

“Well don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure inspiration will strike you soon enough,” you reassured him, “you’re a brilliant photographer after all.”

Izuku's face was now a bright red. He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

“T-Thank you again. Well-uh- goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Izuku.”

You walked away to your dorm as Izuku entered his own. He set all his things down and began to fan his burning face. He has known you for about three years now, yet he still can’t find the courage to get closer to you. You flustered him to no end, without even trying. Your voice, your smile, your laugh, your heart; Midoriya simply couldn’t get enough. You were so beautiful in all ways possible.

Midoriya looked at the printed flair pinned to his wall.

Those interested in applying to the Tokyo Art Gallery must follow the theme below in order to be considered.

The prompt read as follows:

‘Capture beauty in its purest form.’

Beauty, thought Izuku. Almost everything is beautiful. The way the sun rises and falls each day is beautiful. How Inko called Izuku every night at exactly 7:30 was beautiful. The friendships that Izuku cherished were beautiful. Then, there was you. Izuku’s mind couldn’t help but wonder to the thought of you in relation to beauty. Now you were truly beautiful.

Izuku soon had an idea.

The following day you found yourself sitting on one of the garden benches. Your classes were finished and you decided that some fresh air might do you some good. You basked in the warm sunlight, as if you were a precious flower that needed it to survive.

Izuku figured that you would be in the academy garden, so he made his way over there. His camera hung around his neck as he held tightly onto his notebook. With a shaky hand, Izuku tapped your shoulder.

“H-Hi Y/N,” he smiled nervously. You greeted him happily, gesturing for him to join you on the bench.

“Hi! Something wrong?” you questioned. Izuku looked like he was sick.

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong. I just-uh- wanted to ask you something…”

“Alright, what is it?”

Izuku set down his notebook next to his side. He held his hands together staring at them.

“Could I take your picture for the Tokyo Gallery?”

Your eyes widened at his request. The best and most handsome photographer in all of UA Academy of the Arts wanted to take your picture.

“You want to take a picture of me? I-I’m no model Izuku…”

“You’ll do great! I have this idea in my mind and it has to be with you.”

Now you were the nervous one. You weren’t one who particularly liked getting their picture taken.

“What if I mess it up? I’d hate to be the reason you don’t get accepted…”

“If those critics reject me, they’re just dumb. I promise it would have nothing to do with you. Please Y/N?” Izuku carefully took your hand with his and stared deep into your eyes. Gosh, how could you say no to him when he looked at you like that.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” you smiled. Izuku squeezed your hand and jumped up from where he sat.

“Thank you Y/N! I promise it will be perfect. Mind if we shoot tomorrow?”

“That sounds good to me.” Izuku smiled so brightly he outshined the sun. He grabbed his things once more.

“Meet me here at noon tomorrow. Try to wear a neutral colored shirt, okay?” he said. You nodded.

“Okay.”

Izuku ran off, leaving you alone in the garden. You soon felt a large pit in the bottom of your stomach.

You stood before the full length mirror of your dorm. You stepped closer to it, examining every detail of you being. A photoshoot? Not only that, but a photoshoot of just you. No way to hide behind anyone or fade into the background. It would be a picture of you. The pit in your stomach only grew. You stared into the mirror, almost hoping the reflection would change into someone else. Someone who would appear beautiful in an enlarged image. Certainly Izuku could’ve asked any other girl to be his model, but insisted that it had to be you. You didn’t understand why. You didn’t view yourself as beautiful in any form. So how could he?

It was close to noon and you should be heading to the garden to meet Izuku. You put on a neutral colored tank top as Izuku requested and finished applying some natural makeup. Your hands shook as you held the brushes. Hopefully your nerves would cease by the time you got to the garden.

Izuku had been setting up since early in the morning. He created a handmade crown of white baby’s breath for you to wear and arranged his backdrop. He set up his lighting and sun reflectors exactly where he wanted. You had been standing by one of the bushes for a few minutes, afraid to interrupt him. He was so in his element. The sleeves to his button down rolled up to his elbows. His dark sunglasses covering his eyes. His beige colored paints stained green at the hem from working in the grass, same with his off-white sneakers. You honestly thought he looked beautiful.

“Hi Izuku,” you said. Izuku jumped then turned to look at you.

“Oh Y/N you’re here, perfect! Y-You look great,” he smiled. Your face grew warm.

“Oh thank you. So, what’s the plan?” Izuku moved his sunglasses to his forehead, pushing back his fluffy green hair.

“So, your job is fairly simple. I’m gonna have you sit on this stool and hold onto this bouquet of flowers. Since it's just me out here I’ll be messing around with the equipment until I find the right lighting and all that. All you need to do is keep the pose I tell you to, okay?” he explained. You nodded.

“What is the theme for this year’s gallery?” you asked. Midoriya flinched.

“Oh it’s um...nature…” he muttered. Nature? Why doesn’t he just take a picture of a tree and call it good? What does he need you for, you wondered.

Izuku set down the stool in front of the garden wall and you sat down. He grabbed the bouquet and handed it to you. He then placed the crown uptop of your head. He carefully arranged it to rest effortlessly on you. His nimble fingers were delicate as they touched your head, then moved to your cheek without him thinking. Izuku’s index finger now rested under your chin as you looked up at him. With a burning face and widened eyes, you wished to never look away. Out of flustering embarrassment, Izuku took his hand back.

“Yeah um so for the pose I’d like you to be looking slightly to the side with your chin tilted up just as I had it. Then with the flowers have them close to your cheek. I’ll probably tell you to switch out poses here and there but that's a good place to start. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Izuku walked back and grabbed his camera. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. You tried to keep yourself calm with a few deep breaths.

“Ready?” asked Izuku. You nodded.

“Ready.”

The first click of the camera and flashing lights was the most startling. You soon got used to it, following whatever instructions Izuku gave you. You moved your head and hand placement, soon feeling more comfortable with everything.

“Yes that's perfect...keep doing that…” Izuku blurted out whatever thoughts came to his mind as he captured you on film. His encouragement was honestly what made your heart race.

“Now lower the bouquet so I can see your pretty face…yeah just like that Y/N…”

Midoriya didn’t even realize what he had said until the words left his mouth, but he didn’t care. He meant it.

“Okay now open your eyes and look slightly towards me, parting your lips a bit…”

Izuku snapped the picture then froze. He looked down at the small digital image.

“So beautiful…”

“Hmm?” You questioned. Izuku snapped out of the trance that he was in. He chuckled nervously.

“OH-the pictures look really good that's all. I think we are good,” he said. You let out a sigh.

“Oh good. That was honestly pretty exhausting.”

“I really appreciate you letting me use you for the gallery. I already know the final product is gonna turn out amazing,” he cheered. You smiled.

“It’ll be amazing because you are amazing,” you said. Izuku blushed.

“So are you.”

You took off the crown and returned the flowers to Midoriya. You helped him put away his equipment before the two of you headed back inside.

“Um Y/N, did you maybe want to grab something to eat?” he asked. You smiled.

“I’d love to, just let me change first,” you chuckled.

“Oh yeah of course.”

You dropped off the equipment at Izuku’s dorm before heading to your own. You slipped on a green sweater and some sweatpants before finding him again.

You and Izuku went to the dinning hall, each of you picking up a bowl of ramen. You decided to eat outside on the balcony.

“How do you think the pictures turned out?” you asked.

“Honestly, really good. You did amazing,” he smiled. You looked down at your food.

“I was honestly super nervous for them. Couldn’t you tell?”

“Not at all! You were a natural out there! I really think this will be some of my best work yet,” said Izuku.

“I’d love to go to the gallery with you,” you whispered. Izuku’s eyes widened.

“I was planning on taking you regardless,” he replied, “thank you by the way.”

You tilted your head.

“For what?”

“For always believing in me. I probably wouldn’t be a photographer if it weren’t for you.”

In Izuku’s first year, he was at the bottom of his class. He knew he wanted to do photography, but couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He was so frustrated one day that he even said that he would be dropping out and quitting forever. You convinced him not to, to keep trying. You saw his talent when no one else could. Even when he couldn’t. From that day forward, Izuku worked to become the best young photographer in all of the Shizuoka Prefecture.

“Well I knew that you could do it, and I was right,” you teased.

“You’re great Y/N, seriously,” he said. You looked at Izuku, your face growing hot.

“I don’t know about that…”

“What? Come on, you’re smart, you’re kind, you’re talented, and you always seem to know what to say. You’re incomparable.”

“To what?”

“To anything. You’re incomparable to anything because you’re you.”

Midoriya had to stop himself from saying anymore, for fear of spilling his whole heart before you. He meant it however. Nobody compares to you.

You swirled your noodles around in their bowl. The pounding in your chest came back. You locked eyes with Izuku.

“You’re incomparable too.”

Izuku spent every waking moment arranging his piece for submission to the gallery. He was always found in the art room, either photoshopping or preparing the flowers to be pressed. Once the image of you was edited to his liking, he developed a large scale version of the picture. He enjoyed putting the pieces together. From hand pressing the flowers to finding the perfect frame to keep it all in, he has created a masterpiece. All thanks to his muse.

You roamed the empty halls of the school in search of Izuku. You hadn’t seen him all day, assuming he would be in the art room. It was late, he honestly should be asleep. You stood in front of the art room door and carefully opened it up.

Izuku was fast asleep on one of the desks. The large photograph was wrapped and ready to be sent to Tokyo. You quietly walked over to him, tapping his shoulder.

“Izuku? It's late, you should go to your dorm,” you whispered. Izuku groaned. He opened his eyes and stretched his arms out.

“What time is it?” he yawned. You chuckled.

“Close to eleven. You should get some actual rest. You have to go to Tokyo pretty early tomorrow.”

“R-Right...the gallery…”

You could hear the exhaustion behind his voice. You grabbed his hand, helping him up.

“Come on, let's go.” You held Izuku’s hand as he lazily walked to the dorms. You led him to his room.

“Goodnight Y/N…”

“Goodnight Izuku,” you smiled. Izuku scratched his messy hair, giving you a weak smile. Without thinking, you leaned in placing a quick kiss on his cheek, before rushing to your own dorm.

Izuku stared at the letter on his desk. He had received it hours ago yet was too nervous to check. It was addressed to him by the Tokyo Art Gallery.

He took a deep breath and grabbed the letter opener from his desk, carefully gliding it across the envelope. He took out the folder paper and opened it up. Izuku ran to your room.

You jumped from your bed when you heard the pounding on your door.

“Izuku? Everything okay?”

He didn’t say anything, simply handing you the letter.

“Is this…?”

“Read it.”

You caught your breath, peaking at the paper.

‘Dear Mr. Midoriya,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Tokyo Art Gallery for Promising Artists! Your piece titled…’

You didn’t finish reading the letter. Instead, you jumped into Izuku’s arms.

“I knew you’d make it! I’m so proud of you!” you cheered. Izuku hugged you tightly, laughing with joy.

“It’s all thanks to you, I couldn’t do it without you,” he whispered. You looked at Izuku, your hands on his shoulder as he held onto your waist. His face blushed red.

“Oh sorry-” he mumbled, removing his grip from you. Your face burned.

“I-It’s okay...congratulations Izuku. You did it,” you smiled. Izuku took your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“We did it.”

It was the day of the gallery showing. You were beyond excited to see all the beautiful artwork, specifically Izuku’s. You still hadn’t seen the final product.

You were dressed and ready, waiting for Izuku.

“Sorry I’m late-”

Izuku came rushing down the stairs to meet you. He looked devilishly handsome in his light grey suit and black turtleneck underneath. He prompted for some beat up black sneakers today.

“That's alright… you look nice,” you smiled. Izuku blushed.

“Says you..you look...wow…” He could barely form a sentence you were so breathtaking.

“Oh stop…”

“Shall we?” Izuku held out his arm for you to take. You did happily.

“We shall.”

The two of you rode the train to Tokyo, arriving at the gallery just before it was open to the public.

“Mr. Midoriya,” said one of the gallery workers, “your art is on the third floor.”

“Thank you.” You and Izuku made your way up the stairs, searching the room for the photo.

“Oh here it is,” smiled Izuku. The large photo was covered up and had velvet rope to stop anyone from getting too close.

“Wow, they must’ve liked yours!” you exclaimed. Izuku blushed.

“Well I didn’t tell you but it actually got nominated for best portrait of the gallery…”

“WHAT? Izuku, that's amazing!” you gushed.

“Yeah so some judges will take a look at it later on and hopefully we win…”

“Doesn’t matter if we win or not. I know it's the best one here,” you smiled.

You soon heard footsteps make their way up to the third floor.

“Showtime,” whispered Izuku. You took a step back from the portrait and watched as Izuku removed the curtain that covered it. The room filled with awes.

Izuku decided to go with the last picture that he took, the one where you seemed to have taken his breath away. You were entirely in black and white, only color coming from the flowers atop of your head and in your hand. Also, the pressed flowers that surrounded you. Izuku covered up the garden wall with pressed roses, daisies, lilies, and sunflowers. You looked like an angel.

You took a few steps towards the picture, reading its title.

‘Incomparable Beauty’ - Izuku Midoriya

You couldn’t seem to find the words, none of them seemed to be right. You backed away from the portrait before bumping into someone.

“Oh I’m sorry-” you said. They smiled.

“Don’t worry about it. Wait...you’re the model in that photo,” they replied. You gulped.

“Um yeah I am…”

“Well tell your photographer that they did an excellent job, really captured the gallery theme.”

“The nature theme?” you questioned. They tilted their head.

“No, the theme was ‘Beauty in its Purest Form’. Really great work.”

Your eyes widened.

“Uh-excuse me-”

You began to shuffle through the crowd of people. Izuku noticed you make your way towards the exit.

“Y/N? Y/N!”

Izuku followed you down the stairs. You rushed outside, breathing in the fresh air. Izuku grabbed onto your arm.

“Y/N what's wrong?” pleaded Izuku, “did you not like it?”

You shook your head. Tears began to gather in the corners of your eyes.

“No Izuku, I loved it. I really loved it,” you sniffled. Midoriya felt a wave of relief wash over him.

“Why did you run?”

“Because...I didn’t recognize myself...I looked-”

“Beautiful. You look beautiful,” he interrupted.

“Y-You think I’m beautiful?” you cried. Izuku wiped away your stray tears.

“Y/N, I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world, inside and out. Y-You’re my muse.”

Izuku cupped your face as you tried to hold back anymore tears.

“You made me look beautiful…”

“No Y/N, you are beautiful. I simply clicked the camera.”

Izuku pulled you into a tight hug, holding the back of your head gently. There was something about the way Izuku made you feel. As if you were the only girl in the world.

“I love you,” you whispered. Izuku’s eyes grew. He moved to face you, a smile creeping onto his face.

“I love you.”

Izuku placed his hand onto your cheek, feeling your soft skin. He began to inch closer to you. You couldn’t wait anymore, the anticipation killing you. You collided your lips with his, wrapping your arms around him. He had one hand on the small of your back as the other held the back of your head. Izuku took mental pictures of this moment, wishing to relive it over and over again. The warmth between the two of you in contrast to the cold air that surrounded you. It was a tornado of emotions.

You looked at Izuku, both of your faces burning and you attempted to catch your breath. You pressed your foreheads together, chuckling softly. Izuku kissed your forehead.

“You really are incomparable.”

•

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parkersloths · 3 years

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Hi ^^

First of all – your Art is INCREDIBLE!!!

I especially love your use of colors and textures :) Everything is so bright and colorful, but still cohesive. And your images are so clear without being overly detailed! It’s all literally perfection!!!

I like to draw digitally as well and your art-style is a huge inspiration for me. So I wanted to ask if you have any work in progress videos or pictures? Or if you could explain your process in general? Like, are you using a sketch layer underneath, with how many layers are you normally working, what kind of brushes do you use or any tips overall to improve digital painting?

Of course you don’t have to answer this (kinda a lot of questions, sorry 😅 ). Just know that I adore your art and that you’re helping me on my own art-journey just by sharing your work with the world – so, thank you!!! <3

Hey!! So first of all thank you so much for everthing you said about my art, I really appreciate it! But also omg thank youuu for this amazing ask like this is for real the kind of ask I've always wanted to get, where a total stranger is interested in my process XD So yeah don't worry about asking a lot of questions, they were great and I loved them!

Also I'm super flattered that my art has inspired you in your own digital art journey and I hope the stuff I say here can also help somewhat! This will get pretty long so sorry in advance everyone for making you scroll so much cause for some reason the read more option doesn't work on mobile :/

But anyway to answer your questions!

Sadly I don't have videos but I do have some pics I'll share. This is actually my second attempt at answering this because before I was going to use some WIP pics of the Majid drawing as example but then I didn't want to because it was in black and white and color is kind of one of the main things I like to emphasize in my art so I wanted to talk about it in the example XD Then I started a couple new drawings and was taking pics of those but I got super artblocked, but luckily I just finished one out of the blue that I can use. Okay so... I started answering this, again, and it was getting way too long and rambly so I'm gonna try to keep it simple this time and maybe I can elaborate more another time if you're still interested/ if anyone else wants know X'D

My process in general: I always start by making a simple basic background to work on, just fill it in and add some blotches of color. Then on a new layer I just start painting the subject, no sketch, so again just laying down some colors (I usually take whatever color in the bg is closest to skin tone and adjust the new color from there) and I just start blocking some shapes in aproximately the right places to start defining where things will be and how they fit together and just go from there. It's hard to explain it more cause that's kinda it, I just paint until things look like they're supposed to or at least visually appealing enough XD I add or adjust whatever colors seem necessary along the way (in this particular drawing I left the darker values until way too late which I don't recommend) and just refine and refine and refine things and add as many or as few details as I feel like, working on everything simmultaneously bit by bit.

Layers: like I mentioned before there's no sketch, and I try to use as few layers as possible so usually I'll have about 3-5. One for the basic background, one to three (though sometimes I merge them) additional layers for more background effects/colors/value fixes that I usually add later in the process, and I try to have just one for the subject. Sometimes I have one or two more if I'm feeling too hesitant but I always merge them in the end.

Brushes: I only use one brush at 50% opacity the whole time for everything. It's a squarish/rectangular brush that has some sort of jagged edges and a bit of a watercolory texture.

Tips: so this part is especially hard cause like.. I feel like any tips I could give are only applicable to drawing portraits and even then it'd be for doing it in the particular way that I prefer.. Like for example I could say it's best to work on every area at the same time and never spend too long one thing before moving on to the next but.. some people actually prefer finishing the eyes completely before moving on to the nose for example you know? So honestly the main thing I'll say is kinda to just experiment with a lot of methods and styles and see what works or doesn't work for you. Something that I think always helped me a lot was watching speedpaints of people who were more skilled than me and had a distinct style, just literally watch how they did their thing and every once in a while I might notice something I'd be interested in trying for myself and yeah with practice and experience you just kinda figure out what kind of things you not only like seeing but actually want in your own art. Like years ago I used to sketch but then I saw enough videos of people painting without sketching that I wanted to try it and I realized it's just more fun and makes more sense to me that way. So yeah try lots of different things and see what works for you and what you want to incorporate into your own art style!

Some more standard digital art tips I could give I guess are like.. the thing I said about not spending too much time on just one area (if it applies to your prefered process XD). Flip the drawing every now and then to catch stuff that's off. Stay zoomed out as much as possible and when you do zoom in for details always keep an eye on how the bigger picture's looking. Take your time finding or arranging a good reference pic that really inspires you cause it'll save you time and frustration later. And aaa idk I could say more but I don't think it's that informative or helpful, and all of this is probably really basic obvious stuff anyway and this is long enough as it is so yeah I'll leave it there...

I hope any of this can help in some way or that I've at least answered your questions in a satisfying enough way haha And finally here are some of the WIP pics I took. Where you can see some parts of the process. I did a lot more after that last pic but yeah at that point it's just about fixing little things, refining and adding details, but there you can see the color adjustment thing I usually do as the very last step (though not for this pic). I don't always have to do it, and there are probably times when I shouldn't, but I almost always like to do it anyway and that's why my colors look so exaggerated and bright XD I usually make the midtones more red and/or magenta, the shadows more blue, and the highlights more yellow (and sometimes a bit cyan) but if you wanna try something like that it's definitely fun to experiment with the different color possibilities ;u;

And yeah that's it for now! I'm sorry this is so long, and this was the short version lol I hope you like the answers at least a fraction of how much I loved the questions X'D

#asks #asks and stuff #sorry for the late reply #ugh this is so long sorry #but seriously I love questions #feel free to ask me stuff lol #I apparently also love to talk X'D

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milagrosen · 2 years

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Hi again! I absolutely adore the way you present your pieces! The anatomy is astounding, and I could never compete with the paint ❤ Do you mind sharing your proportions + coloring process? I'm having a really hard time with adapting to digital art, and to be fair; I've always struggled with any form of rendering, annoying as it is 😒. You always post so many new masterpieces like it's confetti—you make it look so easy :)

Well thank you very much!❤ I don't know though how to help with the proportions because i just kinda do it, if that makes sense. To my eye i can like tell if it's off or not at this point and it has come from just drawing years and years. One thing that might help is that you can take photos of yourself, like hands or legs and use them as references and studies. Besides remember that humans aren't like textbook size. Some people have short torsos but long legs, some have short legs and long necks like, we aren't made from the same mould. And im sure you can see if your drawing still looks human sized & shaped. And not something from a horror movie. For my colouring progress? i don't really have one. 3 things i still do: sketch, some lineart and base colours. After that i just go nuts, i do whatever i feel like is gonna make it look like i want it. I might just paint the whole thing or i might use layer workings or mix them. I might just use one type of brush to paint the piece. There is no rhyme to it, i don't even know the right terms to describe it. These days im even more relaxed on how i draw & i just like to say, there's no rules really just do what you wanna do, paint however you want to. If you want something very technical, i suggest finding advice videos or read blogs by professional artists. Those have really good tips that i've also done and sometimes imply to my works. Especially if you're only starting, you might wanna know how the programs work and like the basics. But when you know how to use the tools, i say just create, try everything it might turn out really good!

#i-ate-a-nuclear-reactor

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harcourtholmesii · 3 years

Text

A Strange Meeting

Fandoms: Dead by Daylight

Pairings: None

Warnings: - Reference to Violence - Referenced Gore - Referenced Death and Torture - Implied, Stated and Referenced Prejudice - Pretty Poorly Written

Words: 2019

I wrote this sometime ago, but I felt like posting some of my older works to Tumblr to get them out there. In this one, to clarify, I have this little headcanon that the Entity would want to get the most it can from its survivors and killers before tossing them into the void. So, the Entity forces some killers to be survivors and some survivors to be killers, so it might leech as much emotion, hope and fear out of them all.

Enjoy!

She had found a quiet place. It was hidden deep into the woods, far from the campfire’s warm glow, and out of sight of those judging looks. She could hear, carried along by the chilling wind, the faint cries of Dwight and Kate’s hollers as they searched for where she had hidden herself away. With her back pressed firmly to the chipping bark of the ulmus- elm behind her, she brought her knees up to her chin, muting her sobs. The cold wind swept through her, and beneath her long sleeves she could feel her hairs rising in horripilation.

Goose-bumps. It was what everyone else called it. But why not use the scientific term? She didn’t understand. According to David, and everyone else probably, there was a lot she didn’t understand. Her father called it a ‘brilliant mind’, an ‘inquisitive mind’, but her mother referred to it in much the same way as everyone else. ‘Special’. ‘Unique’. ‘Unusual’.

When the world around them began to collapse, everyone else ran to the door. When she was alone in the collapse, she just had to collect that one insect. Where one should run for a teammate, she had to collect the sap and take notes. She couldn’t help herself. That was what she knew; botany and entomology were her video games and childhood toys. She didn’t understand these trials. Never had she wished to be swept into a life or death game, and whilst other survivors lived for the chase, she despised having to run around. Her legs ached so much at the end of a trial, she would rarely wait to reach the campfire before collapsing to her knees. Even when those black, arachnid-like appendages tore her away from the safety of the fire, she could rarely find the strength to continue these trials any longer.

Claudette’s head snapped up, hearing heavy footsteps approaching. It sounded much like David or Bill’s heavy boots; the last people she wanted to talk to. As she brought a hand up to the tree behind her, gaining some purchase on it so she might stand quickly and run, she was interrupted by the face of a man she had not met out in these woods. She had never run into another lost soul on her own before. She had always been by Dwight or the others, but now, she was caught out and unsure how to react.

He was enormous. Like an ursus arctos horribilis- Like a grizzly bear in size, he was packed with muscle with wide grey eyes. He turned a dark gaze down to onto her; those grey eyes filled with mild curiosity. They carried a familiar weight to them, like the gazes she had seen many times when their group met survivors who had been there just as long as themselves (or perhaps longer). They were weary, exhausted and yet they looked at her with aroused suspicion. She noted the faintest dark stains on his clothes; there was blood, yes, like there always was, but a black powder mixed with mud and dirt caked the white of his collared shirt. He wore dark overalls with one strap snapped on the right side and, much like everyone else, his clothes were in such a disarray. How could a man like this be one of them? It was much like when she met David; just how could a man of his size, strength and temperament be a survivor?

A crunch of leaves and twigs alerted her, Claudette’s eyes travelling up to the man’s face as he ducked down beneath a branch and with his back pressed to the tree, slid down to sit on her left side. He dropped heavily into the mix of dirt and roots, but kept quiet. She didn’t like this. She wanted to speak up and tell him to go away. This was her spot. But, instead all she felt was the urge to stand and return to the campfire.

“Please stay.” Claudette hadn’t realised she had already started making a move to stand. His voice shocked her. It was a growl. Not like a threatening growl, but his voice was deep and broken that when his plica vocalis- vocal cords produced his words, it reminded her much like the deep bellows of a bear. She swallowed around a lump in her throat, feeling how her body tightened in fear. Her joints were strained, prepared for her to jump up and run like her body had never done so before. Even when she was in a trial, she had never felt so terrified. Nervously, she let herself slump back into her place at the base of the elm’s trunk. She was shaking.

“W-Who…” She swallowed again, trying to gain the nerve to speak. “Who are you?”

He turned his head to look at her; a slow, bored motion, with his grey eyes meeting hers. Even like this, he was still at least a foot taller. He was just… so… big…

“Someone like you.”

“H-How do you kno-?”

“I guessed.” He interrupted her, turning his head away, his right hand brushing lightly at the dirt between them. She bit her lip to keep herself from yelling at him at how he was getting her jean pants dirty. What did it matter? They were dirtied from mud, blood and torn to shreds at the calf and knees. He glanced back up at her, one large finger beginning to scratch a pattern into the dirt. “Lost.”

“W-What?”

“You seem lost.” His eyes turned back to the dirt, glowering at a mistake he brushed away with his knuckles. His attention returned to dividing his gaze between her face and his picture.

“W-Well, I’m not. I know where I can go and-”

“It is not what I meant.” He said, stopping his digits from digging into the dirt. He turned his body, angling it towards her, a foot between them. He was uncomfortably close for her liking, but he didn’t push further. “Your mind seems elsewhere.”

“And how do you know that?” She pulled her lips tight into a frown. She didn’t appreciate how he was analysing her. It was like how her mother tried to send her to a therapist, except instead of a sense of duty to her mother, she was kept there by her fear rooting her feet to the ground.

“I know.” He hummed, returning to a relaxed position around the tree. “No one runs from the fire except for a few reasons. Since you are not screaming…” He trailed off, letting Claudette fill in the rest.

“I… I just can’t deal with this any longer.” Well, he was certainly doing better than her therapist and actually getting her to spill something personal. Whether out of fear or not, it didn’t really matter. “I’m constantly afraid. I can’t keep up with this. I just… I just want to go home.” The world around her grew blurry, her eyes beginning to sting as tears welled up and then rolled tracks down her hot cheeks.

He didn’t speak. He had stopped drawing in the dirt, and kept his eyes trained on her and how she rose her hands up in fists to wipe away the tears. “I just want to go home to my parents. To my microscope and studies. I want to go back to college. If anything, people whispering behind my back is nothing compared to a hook going through it.” She bawled, bringing her body into a curled position.

“What is a m-micro-… ma-icro-scopp?” Her wide eyes turned to look up at him, surprised to find him tilting his head like a giant dog. He was curious, and the thought that this man didn’t know what a microscope was… It was a welcome distraction.

“A-…” She wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to gather herself. “A microscope i-is a tool used to analyse samples. Like being able to see… Um…” She reached down to the grass and dirt, pulling up into view a single leaf, crumpled, but otherwise intact. “Inside a plant there are cells. By having a sample like this leaf under a microscope, you can see them.”

“How?” His growl of a voice caused her body to shudder. Despite her discomfort, his being there as a stranger just listening to what she had to say reminded her of how someone would message the forums asking a simple question she could answer. At least over the internet and in the college chatrooms, people appreciated her knowledge.

She expanded on how it all worked, and felt herself go on and ramble. What could have been answered in fifty words had ended up becoming an entire thesis. Then came the questions about how she got into college studying science as a woman and what the internet was. Like Ashley and Laurie, it seemed he had been ripped out of a time long before her own. How long had he been here? Still, who knows how much time passed, but through it all, whilst he sketched into the forest floor, she answered all of his inquiries and explained how it all worked. She appreciated how he didn’t seem to have any prejudices despite his time, and when bringing up the topic, he simply shrugged his shoulders.

“It never mattered to my father. It doesn’t matter to me.”

When Claudette felt her rump and tailbone beginning to ache, she stood slowly, feeling a little better to talk to someone other than her teammates. As she stood, so did he; carefully sidestepping around his sketch until he faced her. She felt a little trapped just due to his sheer size and might, but when she moved, he did not reach out or follow behind. Instead, he took a step back in the opposite direction.

“Come with me.” She said, feeling a flush enter her cheeks. It was a little embarrassing saying that so quickly, but after their hours (she had to presume) of talking, she didn’t want to return to the group without him. Who knows? A man of his size might be able to help them in the trials.

“No.”

“W-Why not?” She felt a little astounded. Why wouldn’t he want to come? “I-It is okay. No one is going to run you off. I just needed time to myself. You should come with me. I’m sure the others will be happy to meet you.”

“No. I have my own to return to.”

“There are other campfires?” He looked over his shoulder, back through the thick woods from whence he came.

“Hundreds.”

“W-What?”

“Hundreds, scattered all about. We can’t go very far, but you are not the first person I have met out here.” He stepped away from her, the shadows over his form hiding his face from sight. The moonlight streaked that streaked through the woods refused to move and just grant her one last look at him. “I have to return to my own. In time, may we meet like this again.”

“Wait!” But already, he had vanished back into the dark. How a man like that could move so quickly and quietly, she had no clue. But apart from his patch of dirt, there was no sign he had even been there. In the dirt, what she saw drawn there was a truly nice sketch, if a little primitive due to the lack of tools. It was her face. Her face was in the dirt, with a small smile on her face. She bit back a huff of laughter- not out of actual amusement, but out of sheer irony that he would predict the outcome of their conversation.

She turned on her heel and went back the way she came, noting the carvings of Mashtyx in the bark of the trees, reminding her of her path. Now, as she returned to the safety of Kate’s lullaby and the warm glow of the campfire, she came to realise what was stained on his clothes. What gave him such an earthy smell. It was coal dust, much like what she smelt in the coal mines of the Macmillan estate.

#DBD #Dead by Daylight #The Trapper #Claudette Morel #DBD Fanfiction #DBD Fanfic #HarcourtHolmesII

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ghosttotheparty · 3 years

Text

while the world ends around us (make believe with me)

2. I just wanna go where I can get some space AO3

Lucas doesn't know what to do with himself.

He still hasn’t worked up the energy or motivation to unpack beyond what he needs, even after weeks of being in Antwerp. He’s barely even worked up the motivation to get out of bed.

He’s barely left the apartment, even after his two-week quarantine mostly in his room (during which he unpacked a few shirts and the white comforter that’s strewn across his mattress, which lies on the floor next to a window), despite his father’s demands that he get groceries. That was their first fight after Lucas moved in. Words had been thrown around the room. Lucas wishes he had thrown other things too. Anything that might just convince his father to send him back to Utrecht. Maybe some plates. Glass. But he figures that would probably just get his father’s belt lashed at him.

When his father finally surrendered to letting Lucas stay home, he told him to unpack. And then told him that he isn’t allowed to put anything on the walls. Not even with tape.

So Lucas has boxes and boxes filled with things he can do nothing with but look at. Photos he’d printed before moving specifically to put on his walls, that he now just thumbs through longingly, gazing at Kes and Jayden and Isa and Liv. He even has photos of Noah, whom he’d gotten closer to in the days before the move. Noah had given him a goodbye gift of a set of pencils accompanied with a wink and a hug later on that night. He’d told Lucas that he’d caught him doodling on a napkin at a get-together a few weeks before.

“You’re pretty good,” Noah had told him. “You could do it seriously.”

“I do,” Lucas had responded. “I just don’t show anyone.”

“Well maybe if you show more people, more people will get you new supplies.”

Lucas had just made a face and allowed him a “Maybe.”

The pencils are in the same box as all his sketchbooks, the ones he’s started filling with drawings and doodles, and the ones that are completely blank, bought before he moved just in case he wouldn’t be able to buy any after arriving. In the box, he also has watercolours and paints and an abundance of brushes, along with palette knives he’s never used. The box is on the floor next to his door. He moved it from the top of a stack of boxes after needing to find his lined notebooks for school. And his clothes.

Anyway.

The photos.

He remembers when they were taken. He heard a lot of laughter that day. He had taken some before Kes had snatched his phone (freshly cleared of storage just for the occasion), and taken more than Lucas had bothered to count. Pictures of Lucas and Isa, Isa by herself, Lucas and Liv, Lucas and Janna, Lucas and Engel, Lucas and Noah, Lucas and Jayden, Lucas and Ralph, before he had begun taking photos of them not posing. Photos of them eating, laughing, talking, hugging. Them all existing.

They were beautiful.

Lucas had told Kes he could be a photographer. Kes had said he’s never thought about it.

Then Lucas had taken his phone back and taken photos of Kes and the others until his storage ran out.

He printed each and every one of them.

He flips through them whenever he can, grinning and rolling his eyes at the photos of Jayden making a face and the photo of Noah flipping his middle finger to Kes with a flat face, smiling fondly at the photo of Liv and Isa hugging, Isa’s cheek squished against Liv’s, gazing longingly at the ones of them all together.

He sighs.

He supposes he feels lonely now. Of course, he’s still been talking to them, chatting and giggling at the stupid videos and memes they send, but he hasn’t seen or touched them since he moved. He thinks he misses that the most. Hugging, shaking hands, receiving cheek kisses from Isa and Janna and Ralph. Sitting on a sofa and immediately feeling someone’s leg press against his, or lay over his lap. Feeling someone’s head rest on his shoulder, someone’s fingers mess with his curls. He misses when Isa would stand too close while talking to him, close enough for him to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her close while she speaks. He misses when Kes’s thigh would press against his as they sat side-by-side, and when Jayden would greet him with a fist to his shoulder, or Ralph with a pinch on his cheek.

He hasn’t touched anyone since moving. He doesn’t think the accidental brushes against his father’s shoulders as he storms past count.

He misses it, more so sometimes than others. Sometimes he misses it so badly he aches, pulling a pillow to his chest, or wrapping his arms around his legs, trying to feel some sort of contact, some sort of pressure. Sometimes he wonders if he’ll forget what it feels like to touch other people. He, no one for that matter, doesn’t know when it’ll be completely safe to touch others, to hang out with them without covering their faces, to greet them with kisses on the cheek, the way Janna likes to. He doesn’t even know if he’ll have anyone he’ll want to do those things with.

He doubts he’ll find friends like Kes and Jayden, kind of doubts he’ll find friends full stop.

It’s not like he’s going to have the opportunity to get to know anyone at school, as they’re not even at school. And it’s not like he really wants to make friends, anyway. He’ll just leave Antwerp after high school, just have to say goodbye. The first chance he gets, he’s leaving on a train back to Utrecht. He’ll figure his life out from there.

But for now, this is what he has: a mattress on the floor. Blank walls. Towering cardboard boxes. A stash of cigarettes and weed hidden between his mattress and the wall. His skateboard propped up against a stack of boxes. His laptop sitting on top of a box, ready for when he finally starts school, which he’s dreading.

Just more things to do.

More chores.

Everything feels like a chore lately. If he thinks about it, everything’s felt like a chore for a while now. Instead of a to-do list, he has a fuck, I still have to do that list. It takes energy to roll out of bed. It takes commitment to wake up.

It’s gotten worse since he got to Antwerp. Maybe, he thinks, because it’s so much work to exist in the same place as his father, who blames him for every single thing the universe throws his way. But he also thinks it’s because there’s no one here to shake him out of it. Back home, he would get texts and texts from his friends, telling him to meet them at the skatepark, at a cafe, at some party. Giving him things to do.

Here, he still gets texts.

He answers them laying in bed.

He doesn’t know how to explain it.

It feels like something is missing. Like there’s an emptiness in him. It’s easier to ignore when he’s around other people, when he’s listening to loud music and talking and laughing, or scrolling endlessly on social media. It’s easier to pretend there’s something there, on that empty shelf in his chest.

Sometimes it’s sadness, he thinks. Especially since he moved. Sadness from missing home, missing people. But most of the time it’s just… nothing.

And he can’t really spend time with his friends, so he scrolls. Or draws or paints. But he hasn’t been making much art beyond sketches lately.

Part of him hopes he might make some friends when school starts, at least some people to chat with, or hang out with when it’s safe. But if he’s completely honest with himself, he’s not expecting to. He doesn’t even remember how he became friends with most of the friends he has. Kes and Isa had, for lack of a better word, adopted him when they were younger, had taken him under their wings and shown him the ropes of existence.

Which feel like they’re unravelling.

Lucas rolls over in bed, looking up at his laptop on the boxes, sighing. This is his life now. Boxes and the internet. The sound of his father tripping down the hall, grumbling to himself because Lucas isn’t there to scold. (This is just about the only instance Lucas can think of when he hears his father’s voice. The amount of words they’ve exchanged outside of their fights could usually be counted on two hands.) He’ll finally hear some voices that don’t belong to his father next week when he goes to class.

The thought of going back to school, even through video calls and online assignments, makes him itch. He’s picked his lips red and raw in the past few days, without Isa to swat his hands away from his face before he can start tasting blood. When he lets his mind wander, his leg starts to bounce. His mom would set her hand on his knee, making it stop, and chuckle while telling him he’s making her seasick. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it.

He already has lots of emails from teachers; he checks every time he uses his laptop, but he hasn’t responded to any of them. They all sound the same.

This is new to all of us The school year looks very different this year Thank you all for doing your best! These are uncertain times This digital landscape is difficult to navigate This is a unique challenge This could be an opportunity for you

All monotonous, inspiring voices of people waiting.

He doesn’t know how the hell he’s supposed to respond to any of them.

He tries to think that is really is something everyone is experiencing. That This is new to all of us and We’re all doing what we can, but he feels like he’s in it alone. He knows even Kes and the others aren’t seeing each other in person, aren’t hugging and hanging out the way Lucas longs to, but at least they’re at home. Lucas is stuck in a box, and it feels like it’s closing around him.

He sighs again, shutting his eyes. It’s not quite dark yet, but he feels exhausted, even after doing nothing all day. He’ll probably wake up in a few hours anyway. And he’ll open his blinds, looking out at the city, just half-alive, just like him.

#this is shorter than id like but #baby boys not doing great #also warning rn this *is* going to be a sad fic #but! dont worry about either of them #you know i wouldnt hurt them #also take care of yourself pls #lucas would want you to #i love you #wtfoc #wtfock #skam #skam nl fic #vds #van der stoffels #van der stoffels fic #lucas vdh #lucas van der heijden #jens stoffels #while the world ends around us (make believe with me)

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vminity21 · 4 years

Text

Snowed In | pjm

Pairing: Husband!Jimin x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: fluff/smut

Warning(s): smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, hickey kink, nipple play, unprotected sex

Summary: The stress of studying for an exam that will determine the licensing of your career is completely forgotten when enveloped in the arms of your loving husband, Park Jimin.

Blasting hails of a frilly snowstorm almost silences the television while Jimin flips through the channels; lights flicker within the living room though you attempt to ignore it, empty mugs once filled with hot chocolate remain on the small table across from the sofa where the pair of you are nestled contently. Focusing solely on Jimin’s fingertips lightly rubbing your side from where his arm is draped around you, you sneak a glimpse of him to observe his brown eyes as they stare at the screen, unbeknownst of your grin of admiration before moving your face to press your lips to the corner of his jaw.

A soft chuckle brushes past his budding smile, peering down at you, his hand lifting slightly from the surprise, yet he returns your gesture with a warm kiss to your forehead. Squeezing him tighter, your arm remains upon his firm abdomen, the subtle rise and fall of his chest felt against your cheek. When a commercial break comes on, Jimin decreases the volume, to discover the wind still picking up outside; the both of you aware of the snowflakes continuing to blanket the earth enough to leave a mark for a while. A sense of comfort other than your husband’s presence, is the crackling sound from the fireplace, the faint smell of the burning logs wafting within the space. Noticing how silent you have been, Jimin becomes quite concerned, shifting just enough to look at you fully without disturbing how you’re embracing him.

“Hey,” he says softly, causing you to look up at him, trying once again to suppress the worry behind your eyes, “Are you okay? You’re not your talkative self today.” He teases, tilting his head enough to catch your gaze that happened to falter, his thick lips poised in a grin that brings a subtle leap to your heart. With his free hand, he intertwines his fingers with yours upon his abdomen, the tip of his thumb brushing the ticklish skin of your palm. Your stare fixates upon your linked hands while you gather your thoughts enough to form words.

“I’m sorry, Chim. I’m just worried about that stupid test,” you exhale in frustration, curling your legs underneath you just to lean more into him.

“[Y/N],” his light voice always stays so tender, squeezing your heart in every way, bringing you strength whenever you need it. His hand ghosts yours just to gently rest his fingertips underneath your chin, tipping your face to look at him, seriousness etched in his almond eyes, “You’re going to pass. I know you will,”

Twiddling your digits anxiously, Jimin then slides his hand to the top of your thigh, pulling you as near as he can. “Gosh, I really hope so, Jimin, this is what determines my entire career. I’m just so done with studying, I just want to pass already,”

Flashing you a pointed look, he replies, “Babe, you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are now. Why are you doubting yourself?”

There has never been a day where your husband hasn’t supported or encouraged you to chase your dreams with all your might. Taking in his beauty for a fraction of a moment, you can’t get over how incredibly lucky you are to have a man like him in your life. Regarding the exam, the one that registers you to be licensed in the job field you are trying to succeed in, you paid quite a bit to even sign up for the test, and the pressure of passing raises a fraction of unwanted fear.

“I don’t know, I can’t help it. I just feel like I haven’t studied enough,”

“Well, you have. I’ve seen the hard work you’ve put into your career and your studying, and I have one hundred percent confidence that you’re going to pass this.”

“Thank you,” you murmur in awe, fingers bundling in his shirt.

“Always,”

When a wave of immense love crashes over you, you peck his lips, catching him off guard as you pull away. His plump lips ajar, both pairs of eyes connecting in a daze, Jimin places his palm on your cheek, capturing your kiss so softly, igniting the sparks that you’ve been craving for what feels like an eternity. “Mmmm,” you hum against his mouth, and it doesn’t take long before his hands slide to grasp your waist, your legs instinctively spreading to invite him in between before he helps you lay your back on the cushions. Jimin places his knees on either side of your hips, gliding his tongue seductively along yours, his fingertips tracing underneath your shirt, slipping under the cups of your bra to smoothly rub your raised buds, the sensitivity increasing your breathing- your pleading moans motivating him to continue- knowing what to do to make you supplicate for his touch.

Fingernails digging into his back, you want to feel the tepid temptation of his skin, so you trail your hands to the end of his shirt, breaking the rough paces of his kiss just to help him out of it. Jimin stares at you lovingly for a mere moment when his shirt has successfully been removed, your stance softening from where he brushes hair behind your ear, so he can visualize you clearly soon dipping down to tickle his ajar lips along the side of your neck. Squeezing your eyes shut, his hardened being is felt from where he slowly thrusts upon your clothed heat, and the rising anticipation felt within your core is becoming more evident with every sensation he gifts you with.

“Jimin,” you gasp, when his hand lifts the band of your sweatpants to find the layer of your thong just to brush it away to place the tips of his cold fingers above your pulsing clit. Seeing the effect the motion has on you, he slides his middle finger over your heat multiple times, the sloppy sound of you awakening his senses even more, “Ooooh,” he moans in satisfactory at how wet you are for him, returning to your clit, vibrating his digits against it. Immediately, your free hand grips at his wrist resting next to you, his teeth pressing onto his bottom lip from how turned on he is, loving every second of pleasuring you while you scream in ecstasy- your other hand squeezes the couch until your knuckles are ghost white.

You starve for his kiss, wanting nothing more than to feel how soft he is against your mouth, and without hesitation, you link your fingers behind his neck, the lingering feel of the halted vibration still present before he thrusts a finger into your entrance, curling just enough to stimulate your clit, even more, your feet unintentionally kick at the arm of the sofa, realizing the barrier of your shirt is preventing to feel the entirety of him the way you would like to.

When he realizes what you’re wanting, he does not waver from stripping your top half clean, his heated chest covering yours, “Oh, Jimin,” you moan.

“What’s that baby?” He replies seductively between quick kisses, especially when he notices you reaching to unbutton his pants, and it doesn’t take long for him to become completely ridden of his clothes. When you revel in the beauty of how exquisitely sketched his figure is, you’re so hazed, your eyes widen when Jimin’s hands leap to drop your sweatpants along with your thong off your legs, the plop of them hitting the ground bringing a faint chuckle to your smile. The next thing you know, Jimin lifts you toward him as he moves to lay flat prompting a whimper to escape your parted lips when your knees land on either side of his face, and you realize right then what he’s about to do.

His hands never leaving your hips, he poises your entrance right in the sights of his ravenous mouth, sloping his head enough to where the tip of his tongue slowly swipes your heat, savoring your taste before pressed his tongue faster and faster against you. “Oh, Jiminnnn,” your voice has gradually become higher from how aroused you are, him gliding his tongue so effortlessly, you can’t even think straight. His lips smack from where he begins sucking your clit, “Oh baby,” you bite your bottom lip, the warmth of his palms colliding with your ass, him continuing to pleasure until he slips his tongue inside you, the in and out motion bringing you to the brink of an orgasm.

Desperately, wanting to pleasure him, you raise your body enough to scoot back, his hungry eyes watching as you do so- your core is throbbing; sweat beads line your forehead from the intensity of how enticing he is. Lowering yourself in preparation to take him in, he stops you, “I wasn’t done,”

Confusion appears in the furrow of your eyebrows, “But- but, it’s your turn-”

“It’s not about me tonight,” he steals a quick kiss where the smell of you greets your nose. “I want it to be about you for once.”

“But, baby-”

“Let me,” he touches his forehead to yours, his gape imploring because giving you an escape from reality in the form of loving intimacy is something, he enjoys with you. Just being with you completely, is all he ever wants. Finally, after a gradual ponder, you reluctantly nod in agreement, giggling at the triumphant smile that he now has curled to where his teeth bite into his bottom lip once again, pulling you beneath him comfortably before sliding backward until his mouth finds the lips of your vulva. He flicks his tongue speedily- your hands desperately gripping the strands of his hair while you squeeze your eyes shut. Your thighs shake uncontrollably, eyes rolling back in paradise while he continues his endeavor, pleasing you with all he has.

You’re uncertain with the track of time, but your soaked entrance is enough to prove you’re beyond ready; with all your potency, you aggressively pin him down, letting him take in the view of you in all your beauty, before you slide his erection within you. Jimin grips your thighs the second, you ride him, moans synchronizing with his heavy breathing, but before the growing climax can be finished, there’s one more thing Jimin loves to do, something you admitted was your favorite kink in past intimacies with your husband. Following his lead, he rolls you under him, painting heated kisses along your breasts before sliding his tongue along your stomach, finding your hips bones, sucking the skin to the point there’s a faint sting- leaving a reddened mark for you to be reminded of the fun the pair of you had the night before. His parted lips trail gracefully to your other hip bone where you watch him place another hickey, your head spinning, “Oh shit,” you breathe. Everything about him drives you wild, every word he speaks, every move he makes, just the way he looks at you sparks the longing you feel for him every day.

Jimin kisses you once more, eventually moving inside you, his face contorting in bliss from how good you feel with each thrust. He adores you with all that he is, and your happiness is all that matters to him. When the pair of you reach your climax, you bundle your nose into the crook of his neck while his arms wrap tighter around you. Legs entangled together; you cherish every bit of him while breaths begin to steady.

“My goodness, Jimin,” you exhale, your smile never leaving, “What the hell was that?”

With a cutesy grin, Jimin moves to where he cuddles his nose to yours, “The best damn sex we’ve ever had,”

“Wait,” you laugh, still embracing him, “Now that I think of it, when’s the last time we had sex?”

You can tell his eyebrows scrunch in concentration against your forehead, “Uh… A month ago, maybe?”

“What!? A month ago? I- I… Started studying for my test a month ago,” which explains how powerful your crave for him lately has been so persistent. Embarrassment clouds your mind because the last thing you ever meant to do was forget about your amazing husband.

Jimin chuckles, kissing your lips, “Well, once you pass your test, I think I have an idea on how we can celebrate,”

“That’s a week too damn long,” you laugh while returning his kiss. Eyes connecting, you cup his face with your palm as he leans his cheek further into it, the happiness in your heart glowing so brightly.

“God, I love you so much,” you say, trekking your fingers through his hair in total admiration.

“I love you so much more, [Y/N],”

Snuggling into his frame, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. Just laying here with the love of your life, forgetting about the cold atmosphere outside and letting all the stress leave you as you fall in love with your husband all over again.

#btswritingcafe #bts smut #park jimin #jimin #bts #jimin smut #jimin fluff #husband park jimin #bts jimin #bts park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x you #2.1k #2.1k +

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avengerscompound · 4 years

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Catch and Release - 5

Catch and Release: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 3289

Rating: E

Square filled: @star-spangled-bingo - Steve's Apartment

Warnings: Smut (MMF, oral and vaginal sex, overstimulation)

Synopsis: When you overexert yourself on a mission with Steve and Bucky, the boys admit to having fantasies that involve you. Fantasies that you share. But with one Super Soldier needs intimacy and the other is still dealing with being touch starved, exploring those desires without anyone catching feelings is a little tricky.

Chapter 5: Lying in Wait

You knocked on the door to the apartment that Steve and Bucky shared. They'd asked you around for dinner, which meant dinner and experimenting with their sexuality, and you were more than a little excited. The dice game had gone over really well and for a couple of days after they would each come and tell you about what parts they liked the most. You knew that they’d want to take it further and try more things. Especially given Steve hadn’t technically gone ‘all the way’ with you.

You were very excited too. This whole thing had not at all been what you’d expected. The whole idea of a down and dirty three-way that was all about sex and just getting that release at the hands of the two super soldiers was definitely one that you’d visited alone a lot of times. Somehow this was even better. Steve and Bucky were such good friends, and this arrangement you’d come to was both exciting and safe all at once. They might be finding out more about themselves, but this was your opportunity to find out more about yourself too.

Steve answered and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek. It was funny really, you’d seen him on and off all day, but that was Cap. Steve was a whole different person in a lot of ways and so even though you’d only seen him half an hour ago, this was the first time you were seeing him all day. “Come in,” he said as he held the door open for you.

“I bought wine.” You said holding up the bottle of merlot you’d ‘stolen’ from Tony’s cellar.

“Trying to get us drunk are you?” He asked taking it from you.

You chuckled and followed through the apartment to the table. Their place was a weird mix of old and new. There was a blue velvet wingback couch sitting next to a black leather recliner that had speakers in the headrest. An old cabinet style record player sat next to a large flat-screen TV and had a PS4 sitting on top of it. A set of nesting tables sat in front of the couch and each one was littered with art supplies and Steve’s shield was propped up against the couch.

The walls were decorated with artwork of vintage motorcycles and photos of family and friends. One entire wall was boxed shelving, and each shell was full of books and vinyls. There was no clear theme to any of it. A boxed set of Harry Potter novels sat next to books on military tactics. The Wizard of Oz series was there in its entirety but each volume was sitting on a different shelf. The Wizard of Oz was next to a book on guided meditation. Ozma of Oz was beside some vintage Captain America comic books.

Bucky was in the kitchen cooking. He had his hair pulled back and a floral apron on. The kitchen itself was quite modern and clean compared to the living room. The benchtops were black granite and the fittings were all brushed chrome. Bucky smiled when he saw you and came over and kissed your cheek. “Everything is nearly ready.” He said.

“It smells so good,” you said. “And you look amazing.”

He pinched your hip and went back to his cooking. “Steve, did you put your shit away?”

“Yes,” Steve lied, going straight to the coffee tables and bundling up the art supplies.

“That means your shield too,” Bucky said.

“It’s away,” Steve said. He shoved the drawings and pencils into one of the gaps on the bookshelf before grabbing his shield and shoving it into the hall cupboard.

You chuckled and took down some wine glasses. “It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, I will never get over the fact that he’s the messy one.”

“He’s always been the messy one,” Bucky said. “Drives me crazy.”

“Can I help at all?” You asked as you poured out three glasses.

“There’s a salad in the fridge. You think you can take it out to the table?”

The table was already partially set. The plates and silverware were out, as was a loaf of crusty bread. You took the salad out and by the time you were sitting with Steve and taking your first sip from your wine glass Bucky was bringing out a serving platter piled high with risotto.

“So,” you said, as you all started filling your plates. “What shall we do tonight?”

“Oh, uh…” Steve said, almost dropping his fork. “We thought dinner and if you wanted we could watch a movie…”

“Really? That’s what you want to do?” You teased.

“He’s being polite because he doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do anything,” Bucky said.

“Oh, I know.” You said playfully, putting your hand on Steve’s.

“I just want to make sure you know that your friendship is important to me too,” Steve said, giving your hand a squeeze. “I don’t want to put the sex above that.”

Bucky smiled and leaned over the table and kissed him. Not that you could blame him. You could practically feel your heart swell up. When Bucky sat back in his chair, Steve looked a little love-struck himself.

“Then we should hang out as friends sometime,” you said as everyone started eating. “Like we used to. But I am wearing really expensive lingerie and I’d really like to show you it.”

“And I would definitely like to see it,” Bucky said.

“We were talking about just…” Steve stopped mid-sentence and froze like he had forgotten the word he was looking for. “You know… normal.”

You and Bucky looked at each other and bit back laughter. “Ah yes, normal threesome style, Stevie. Just the way everyone who has threesomes does it.”

Steve looked at Bucky deadpan. “You know what I mean.”

“Well, yeah. I do ‘cause we talked about it before.” Bucky teased. “What he means is because part of this is him getting to do some things he hasn’t done before, we’d like to focus on you and it just be…”

“... vanilla guy on girl sex.” You finished.

“That’s the one,” Bucky said tapping his forehead.

“Gonna run the train,” you said and took a sip of your wine. “Nice.”

“Is that okay?” Steve asked.

“More than.” You said. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything,” Steve answered.

“And just to be clear here, I’m talking to Cap. Not Steve.” You added.

“Oh,” Steve said, his posture stiffening. “What is it?”

“No,” Bucky groaned. “Don’t invoke the Captain in here.”

“Just for a second. I promise.” You said. “What happens if the others find out about what we’re doing?”

Steve’s jaw tensed and twitched at the corners as he thought. “I don’t think we should go around bragging about it,” he said. “But this is our personal business We aren’t breaking any rules. If the find out, they find out.”

“Besides, if Tasha doesn’t already suspect, then I don’t think that’s Natasha and we better find out where the real Natasha is,” Bucky added.

You laughed and nodded. “True. You know if Tony finds out he’s going to give you hell for it.”

“What’s new?” Steve said with a small shrug. “Besides, like he can talk.”

“Also valid.” You said. “Alright. I just wanted to make sure. I agree. I don’t want to go telling … well anyone, but like Bucky said, Nat figures this shit out, and I don’t want to be lying to our friends.”

Steve reached over and rubbed your arm. “I would never ask you to do that. You aren’t our dirty little secret. You’re our friend.”

“God, Steve. Saying all the right things tonight. I’m gonna fuck your brains out.” You said.

“And I’ve got second,” Bucky added, reaching over and taking Steve’s hand.

The three of you finished up dinner and cleaned up together. Steve had been right. The three of you needed to nurture the friendship too. This was how this started after all.

When the kitchen was practically sparkling Steve came up behind Bucky and wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his neck. Bucky closed his eyes and hummed softly. He held out his hand to you and you took it and let him pull you into his arms.

His eyes opened and he blinked slowly, as he gazed down at you. “Ready, darlin’?”

You smiled up at him as Steve’s arm snaked around you and he pressed his large hand to the middle of your back. “As I’ll ever be.”

Bucky leaned in and ghosted his lips over yours. You reached up and tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him into a hungry kiss. Steve kissed and nipped at Bucky’s throat as the two of you kissed and pulled you a little tighter against Bucky. You could feel Bucky start to harden against you and you pulled back with a quiet gasp.

“Bedroom?” He asked.

“Bedroom.” You agreed and Bucky put an arm around each of you and the three of you made your way down to the bedroom.

The room was painted sage, with gray trim. The floor to ceiling windows on the far side looked out over the East River and beyond that, Brooklyn. There were more shelves against one wall, though they mostly held little knick-knacks. Things like a signed baseball, a Build-a-Bear dressed as Captain America, and model spaceships - the kind you built yourself. Next to it was an antique drafting table with more art supplies and sketches littering it. There were framed prints on the one bare wall above the bed, each one held different black and white photographs of the New York skyline over the years.

The bed was a king and had been made. A crocheted quilt in dark red and white lay folded in half at the foot over the gunmetal quilt. The bedside table on the left was clean and neat with a digital alarm clock, a dock for a Stark phone a worn copy of Dune. There was also a basket with condoms and lube, the same as you had set up when they’d come to your place. You wondered if he’d decided to steal the idea from you. You couldn’t imagine that they were still using protection like that with each other. The bedside table on the right was a mess of water bottles, notebooks, dog eared novels, colognes, and random scraps of paper.

You looked around as you unzipped your dress. Bucky and Steve began to undress too. “I’ve never seen your room before.”

“So many firsts tonight,” Bucky said playfully.

“Your bed is big enough to fit us three and Thor too.” You said dropping your dress and revealing the black lace push up bra and thong you were wearing.

The two men looked you over like hungry wolves. “Two super soldiers not enough for you,” Bucky teased, stalking over to you and hooking his arm around your waist. “You gotta include a god too?”

“Hey, I’ve been single for ages. Let me have my fantasies.” You joked, as he pulled you to him and lifted you, carrying you to the bed and dropping you on the mattress.

You lay back and arched your back as both Steve and Bucky crawled up with you. Both had taken their shirts and shoes off, but while Steve was down to his boxers, Bucky was still in his jeans. “You’re giving us ours, if you want to share yours with us, we’ll see what we can do.” Steve rumbled as he kissed your neck and collarbone. His hand ran down between your breasts and over your stomach, making your skin break out in goosebumps.

Bucky kissed the other side of your neck and tangled his hand in your hair. “Threesomes are the most common fantasy you know?” You half moaned. “And they’re more common to have the older you get.”

“How do you know this stuff?” Steve asked as he moved his hand to your cunt and he slowly began to palm it.

You moaned pushing up against his hand. “It was in a documentary. You guys are over a hundred. So bringing Thor in would be good for you.”

Steve snorted while Bucky broke down laughing. “We’ll keep that in mind, dork.” Bucky teased and kissed you.

As you kissed, Steve kissed lower. He paused at your breasts and sucked and bit at your nipples through your bra. You reached behind you and unhooked it Steve slid it down and pulled your nipple into his mouth. Bucky joined him at your other breast and they both sucked and bit your breasts as Steve’s hand slipped into your panties and he started to finger your clit. You moaned and squeezed your legs around his hand as you writhed under them.

Steve moved down lower, pushing your legs apart and pulling your panties down. He nuzzled at your cunt and flattened his tongue running it up your folds. You put your feet on his shoulders and pushed your hips up into his mouth. Bucky’s hand caressed your throat as he continued to suck and bite at your beasts.

The sounds you made got louder and louder as Steve became more and more focused. You could tell he hadn’t done this before, but the way he moved was almost like watching him in the field. He’d stop and cock his head to the side while his tongue flicked over your clit or his fingers moved inside of you, when you moaned just the way he wanted, he’d focus on what he’d just done.

As they brought your apart with just their hands and mouths, they kept touching each other too. Stroking each other’s backs or legs. While you moaned and bucked, your orgasm right there on the brink, they held hands.

Steve corkscrewed his wrist and sucked hard on your clit and you came, arching hard up off the mattress and crying out. “Fuck, yes!”

Steve sat up, a proud little smile on his glistening lips. Bucky got up on his knees and kissed him hungrily. You wrapped your legs around Steve and began to grind against his erection as you unfastened Bucky’s jeans. Bucky pushed Steve’s boxers down and began to stroke his cock and Steve groaned into Bucky’s lips, his cock jumping in Bucky’s hand and leaking precum onto your pussy as you rubbed against him.

Bucky broke the kiss and began to nuzzle at Steve’s neck. “You gonna fuck her, Stevie?” He whispered.

Steve groaned and grabbed your thighs. “Yeah, Buck. I want to.”

“She’s so wet and warm, Steve,” Bucky whispered as he grabbed a condom. “You’re gonna really like it.”

Steve closed his eyes and caressed his fingers over your stomach and cunt. You reached up and cradled his jaw as Bucky rolled the condom down over his shaft. Steve looked down at you, his blue eyes blown out with lust. With a snap of his hips, he sunk deep into you.

You both gasped and you arched back as he lifted your hips up to him. Bucky kissed Steve again before leaning down and sucking on your breasts against. His metal fingers went to your clit and rubbed it as Steve started to slowly rut his hips against you, each thrust accompanied by a roll, so it felt like he was touching every part of you.

You felt like a live wire. All your nerves were raw and stimulated as they made you the center of attention. Steve fucked you slow and deep, filling you completely. You gripped his wrists and rolled your hips with him. Pleasure swirled through, starting in your breasts and cunt and meeting in your core. It pressed down on you and radiated out until it was all you knew and all you wanted to know. Your core clenched and you came hard, bucking up under them.

Steve was far from close though. He picked up his pace, fucking you harder and a little more erratically. Bucky began to massage the base of his cock and balls while his thumb rubbed your clit. He switched from one breast to the next, keeping you right on the edge as Steve fucked you.

Steve’s eyes stayed locked with yours and his jaw tensed. You jerked up suddenly as another orgasm tore through you, and with a hard snap of his hips, he came.

Bucky sat back as you relaxed down panting and Steve slipped from within you. “How’re you doing there, darlin’?” He asked as he ran his hands up Steve’s chest.

Steve kissed Bucky’s neck and got up, removing his condom and tossing it out. “Really good, Buck,” you hummed. “You gonna fuck me?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Bucky replied, grabbing one of the condoms and sheathing himself. You sat up and stretched a little and Bucky sat opposite you. You climbed into his lap and lowered yourself down onto his cock. As you began to bounce on his cock Steve moved up behind you and sat with his legs on either side of you and Bucky. He kissed your neck and ran his hands over the two of you. Caressing skin. Pinching nipples. He rubbed your clit and massaged Bucky’s base.

You and Bucky kissed as you moved as one. Your lips moved from lips to neck and back again and the sounds of your moans combined with each other’s and filled the room.

Sweat began to bead your skin as heat flowed through your veins, burning you up from the inside out. Steve hardened against your back as you moved. You began to feel fuzzy and high. Steve’s fingers worked your clit as you bounced faster and faster. It wasn’t long before you came again, and Bucky broke the kiss with a strained groan, gritting his teeth as he tried not to be dragged along with you. It was no use though, his hips jerked and he came just after you.

You stayed joined, slowly rolling your hips as his cock emptied. Steve ghosted his lips up the side of your neck and nipped at your earlobe. “You up for more?” He said in a soft growl.

“Mmm… I could go again.” You hummed.

Three and a half hours the three of you spent switching from one to the other, the only break you got was to rehydrate. By the time you called defeat you wondered if you were ever going to learn your lesson about trying to keep up with the two super soldiers.

You lay panting on the mattress as Bucky and Steve both lay back, the sweat running down their chests in rivulets. You cunt ached and your legs felt weak. You had a vague feeling like you should get up and pee. Get dressed. Go home. You didn’t think you’d even be able to get up. You could barely even think straight. It was all soft-focused.

You struggled up too sitting and blinked around the room.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” Steve asked, putting his hand on your hip.

“Gotta go home,” you mumbled.

“You’re exhausted. Just stay.” Steve reassured you.

“Yeah, darlin’, you liked cuddling with us when we were camping,” Bucky added.

“If I sleepover, then they’ll know.” You tried to reason.

Steve sat up and kissed your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist. “So they know. We’re adults, we can do what we want. Now lie down, you’re exhausted.”

You let yourself collapse back down, unable to think of one possible argument. They both wrapped you in their arms and you were asleep before the blanket was even pulled over you.

// NEXT

#SSB2020 #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #catch and release #lying in wait

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lavalampelfchild · 3 years

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Lava’s Art Masterpost

Hey, all! Welcome to my art masterpost! I have no idea if this is a thing that is done typically for art, but oh well, I like organizing things, so here we are! What you’ll find here is mostly Dragon Age, with a few non-DA pieces in there, and there’s a range of styles I like to use, depending on my mood. But a lot of what you’ll see will most likely combine lineart with some other form of coloring/shading.

Feel free to browse at your leisure, and I hope anyone who stumbles upon this enjoys what they find! :D And thank you to anyone who sees this and likes, or reblogs, or even just stops by to peruse a bit!

All that said, away we go!

Digital Portraits:

1. Portrait of Nameless Woman, 2020 - This one is just an experiment with a watercolor brush that I did. It’s not anatomically perfect, but I enjoyed playing around with shading.

2. Sketch of Aja Amell, 2020 - This one is basically sketch practice with my Amell~ Not really the most expressive pictures, but it’s a start toward drawing her more expressively. Full disclosure: Aja is one of those OCs of mine that I have had trouble with deciding on a definitive appearance for several pictures, and I really want to work on upping my level of consistency when drawing her.

3. Long-Haired Fenris, 2020 - Exactly what it sounds like; this was for practice drawing Fenris’s features (I love how distinct they are), but with long hair because I am weak for it. This one was a fun piece to shade, and mixing the stylized lineart that I normally use with a greyscale shading spectrum was really enjoyable.

4. Portrait of Ilorin Lavellan, 2016 - This is an oldie. Basically practicing expressions, and it is technically a WIP, but I’m still very happy with how the shading turned out, especially because this is actually (aside from the unfinished hair) one of the more minimal pieces I’ve done in terms of lineart It’s still there, and it still shapes the flow of the picture in some ways, but it also ends up flowing with the shading instead of standing out next to it, which I like. (Both styles are good, though, and I love seeing other artists try both too.)

5. Old Portrait of Aja Amell, 2016 - Much older picture I did of Aja; she... honestly looks very little like the newer one, I think, and that consistency is something I’m still working on, but this one was the first picture of Aja with that particular hairstyle I drew. What I like about this picture is how young she looks; it fits with her image as a fresh and sheltered Circle mage who’s only about 20 years old at the time of DAO.

6. Old Portrait of Trilyn, 2016 - They very first piece of art I posted to tumblr~ It’s not exactly how I envision Trilyn anymore, but it was still very fun to draw, and helped me get a feel for drawing him in the future.

Dynamic Movement Pictures/”Moment’s in Time”:

1. Tabris in Arl’s Estate, 2020 - TW: blood. I am super proud of this one. My ultimate goal is to draw all of my Warden DAO OCs, and I could not believe I’ve never drawn my Tabris, and so here she is. This was, in large part, practicing expressions because I absolutely love art that depicts characters in motion, or capturing some kind of expression.

2. Velyn in the Rain, 2017 - This one was actually based on some art that I saw in a Teen Wolf fic! It was an experiment with a more expressive style (and one of the first pieces I did without lineart left in the finished version) and it was a huge step out of my comfort zone. But overall, I am extremely happy with how it turned out.

3. Jem Nocking an Arrow, 2016 - And here is the lineart version. This was entirely an excuse to draw my DAI baby, Jem, and to do a cool archer pose because archers are my fav, and I love characters in motion.

4. Solas Teaching Trilyn Fade Magic, 2016 - This one was a painterly picture that was also (like the Velyn picture) something which I tried to keep lineart out of. Overall, I am proud of a lot of parts of the pic, but I think I would definitely go back over it and change a few things now if I had the patience.

5. Trilyn Closeup WIP, 2016 - TW: injury, blood, mention of abuse in the author’s note. A lot of early pictures I have are of my OC, Trilyn, and this is one of my absolute favorites. His entire upper body is technically in the picture, but I hadn’t finished rendering it yet, so this was what I posted. And it was an experiment with a cross-hatching style with the pencil tool for some texture, with air brush shading and a blurring tool. It’s a style I had fun playing around with!

6. Trilyn Blood Ritual, 2016 - TW: blood, injury (the slight cut used to supply the ritual with blood). This one was definitely a sort of “captured moment” from a backstory I gave Trilyn, and I think what I was really going for was an atmospheric piece that could fit with any potential fic I wanted to write for Trilyn. And then it ended up being practice for extreme lighting/shading techniques, and drawing the blood and the gross mass of demon ichor (or whatever the heck that is) turned out to be highlights of making the piece for me.

Art + Text:

1. Freedom and Control, 2020 - TW: scars, but very difficult to see. This one was ambitious for me! It started originally just as Solas and my Tal-Vashoth OC, Saara, facing each other, because I love the dynamic I’ve built for them in my head, but then it turned into an attempt at a tarot-esque background, and just sorta grew from there... Overall, I’m happy with how it turned out, especially with how Solas and Saara themselves turned out. The version you can actually see a larger view is here.

2. Marianna and Delia Codex and Art, Pt. 1, 2020 - I love writing my own codex entries, first off, and I love combining art with text to create a (hopefully) seamless work. This work was an attempt to flesh out these OCs of mine with both art (because unique facial structures are hard for me to get down, but so important regardless) and text (because writing~). I think it turned out well overall, but there are elements of the portraits that I might at some point touch up a bit.

3. Marianna and Delia Codex and Art, Pt. 2, 2020 - Part 2, with what I refer to as a “DAI Outfit Change” because I have always loved seeing fans show their own OCs as they look in DAO, DA2, and then finally DAI. So I absolutely wanted to jump on that bandwagon myself. The skin tones are a little off (and I’m sorry about that!) because I was playing with the watercolor brush at that point, and it dilutes the colors I use. Still working to figure that out, but I was very happy with the overall lineart and structures of the faces.

4. Alistair/Aja Amell Picture with a Blurb, 2017 - Ooooold, old, old, old, OLD! I still love the art, and I’m soooo happy with how the interaction between Alistair and Aja turned out (drawing kisses is extremely difficult for me; I always end up creating a distorted weird lip-creature, instead of realistically puckered lips...). I’m not as happy with the blurb that went with it? At that point, I was still very much figuring out my own DAO worldstate, and the characterization for everyone, so, eh. Take it with a grain of salt!

Unfinished Costume Designs:

1. Ancient Elvhen Armor with Dwarven Influence, 2018 - People who do costume design work are amazing and mystical beings, and I wish I could do what they do. This was an attempt at merging the Keeper robes from DAI with a more dwarven armor aesthetic, solely because I created an ancient elvhen character, Ceda, who was taken in by the Cad’halash dwarves mentioned in the Witch Hunt dlc, and I wanted this character to have a mix of the elven style of armor and the dwarven style. I’m overall decently happy with it, but there’s still that persistent level of self-criticism present.

2. Herald of Andraste Outfit WIP, 2016 - This was a very old picture, not one I showed around a lot, but the idea for this was entirely born of my intense interest in how fashion and outfit designs could be used to create a symbolic image for the Herald of Andraste. In general, I love the combination of ceremonial armor with long and flowing cloth, so that was what I went for here. I’m still actually very proud of how this came out, and headcanon something similar for my Herald in my canon DAI worldstate.

Pencil Sketches:

1. Quick Saara Sketch, 2019 - TW: saarebas mouth scars. Exactly what it says; very quick sketch of Saara I did in a small notebook I carry around with me. This was basically a test for myself to see if I could manage to draw Saara with the features and facial structure I envisioned for her without needing to use a lot of references.

2. Mass Effect Character Sketch; Jesse, 2018 - Similar reason for drawing this one as the above Saara sketch! With these characters, I love sometimes the way they can turn out with the specific character creator used for them, and when I draw them, I enjoy trying to create a definitive look for them using what I get from the CC, and my own knowledge of Hooman Faces.

3. Saara Sketch, 2017 - TW: saarebas mouth scars. A more detailed sketch of Saara than the one above, and one I definitely put more time into overall. It’s currently the profile picture I’m using for ao3, and is the definitive go-to reference picture I use whenever imagining Saara in a fic, or for other Saara pics I make. I am extremely proud of this picture, and feel like I should work in graphite more often. It’s such fun, and the texture is so nice to look at.

4. Sketch of Nameless Alamarri Woman, 2017 - This was a sketch I did of what I envisioned some Alamarri tribes to look like; I used artistic depictions of Gaul tribes and hairstyles for inspiration, and have used this as a go-to reference for my version of Alamarri tribes. Nothing super notable about this one, but I really liked the way the shape of her face turned out.

Events and Gifts:

1. Another Scar, 2020 - TW: blood, injuries, gore. The most recent piece of art on the list, and a gift for @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold; featuring sisterly love between Rica and fem!Brosca, which was her requested prompt. This was a tough piece for me because of the difficulty with the lighting I dealt with. For some reason, that one particular element of it gave me so much trouble. Overall, I’m very happy with how it turned out, though, especially the skin tones of the sisters; Brosca I always sort of like as having this greyish, more gaunt look to her, while Rica I like seeing with a darker, richer, and warmer tone to her.

2. A Very Cousland Christmas!, 2019 - This was for a holiday exchange for a server, and I drew a friend’s Cousland (Elissa, the girl on the left) with my Cousland (Gazza, the girl on the right). I love kid-fic, and I love kid-art, and so I decided... baby Cousland art! Drawing kid proportions was the toughest part, I recall, and I thiiiink it turned out well, and I’m still quite proud of it overall. Elissa’s design came entirely from my friend, but I added the holly~

3. Exchange Gift with Dis Brosca and Mabari, 2018 - This was an exchange gift for @fanfoolishness, using her lovely Dis Brosca, and was my first real attempt at backgrounds... I struggled with the coherence of the foreground and background a bit, but I’m still very proud of how it turned out, especially with the colors I had to work with. What I also really enjoyed working with was the lighting and the expression on Dis’s face. Backlit subjects are always fun to play around with!

4. Inktober Picture, “Deep”, 2017 - TW: scars, injury, mentions of abuse in the author’s note/attached dialogue snippets. This was for an Inktober prompt (the only one I’ve ever done, sadly... because I am bad with deadlines...), and again features Trilyn. Trilyn’s backstory has him a former slave in Tevinter, and a lot of the early works I do for him are sort of deep-dives into his life there. It’s all meant to be an exploration of the things he endures, and then those moments when he overcomes it all and takes back his own autonomy and self. This art is definitely provocative, and I can understand if not everyone likes it, but to me, I just wanted to show just what he faces (without glorifying it) before showing the moment of his own triumph.

5. Christmas Holiday Picture with my Brosca and a Friend’s Amell, 2017 - This was a piece of art drawn first by a friend of mine, @nanahuatli~ She drew the Amell, the background, the mistletoe, etc. All I did was add my Brosca to the mix to finish the image. It was a lot of fun to do, 1) because it was fun trying to match her style so that the picture looked cohesive, 2) because I love doing collabs with friends, and 3) because it was just such a fun thing to imagine my surly short Brosca, looking at this weird plant/fungus/thing dangling over some puckering human! It was an absolute joy to do this collab with her!

6. OC Kiss Week Pic of Jem and Saara, 2017 - TW: saarebas mouth scars. A spur-of-the-moment thing meant to demonstrate just what kind of dynamic my OC, Jem, has with my other OC, Saara (both of whom are members of Leliana’s network in DAI). This was a very quick picture (deadlines...) and was mostly just to have fun drawing these two characters interacting, and to see if I could make them look like themselves. I think I did a decent job with it overall, especially with Jem’s kissy-face! (Again... drawing kisses are the bane of my existence, although hands and feet take a close second.)

#lavalampelfchild's art #masterpost #dragon age #some not DA stuff

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

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i'm mostly interested from when u started drawing (again)??i think u mentioned in like 2016 or something about the loomis method is how u started drawing faces?? i can't remember much but just from that time to now 🥺 and like talking abt what u did and how u've improved over the years and what you've used and stuff 🥺 if thats alright?

I can def include that in a video!! Thank you for letting me know! Tbh I don’t really focus on art videos much anymore so I might not get to this until I have a speedpaint, so in the meantime if you’re interested:

I did start art in 2016. I wouldn’t really consider my doodles from a child a part of my art journey, but perhaps that’s because I was horrifically insecure about my art as a child (and still am because I never felt like a “real artist” << this imposter syndrome only really fizzled when I moved to university a few months ago).

I did start drawing faces with the Loomis method. I no longer use this as I sort of know the face well enough to “intuit” where things will go (this is genuinely just because of practice). The Loomis method is my #1 recommendation when it comes to art, specifically if you want to draw portraits. But tbh, any resource that shows you how to break down the proportions of the face is great (people all have their own variations). I didn’t one day decide not to use the method, it just sort of happened after constant sketching practice.

My art didn’t really got “good” until 2018 (aka I think pieces I made then age well now).

All I did to improve was draw? I didn’t have a routine (some people sketch every day, I just sketched whenever, maybe a few times a month). I don’t draw often anymore (maybe once a month or less), but have retained most of my skills from my years of practice (tho the more practice the better). Something important to note: I strongly believe my improvement happened so quickly because I focused on realism. The moment I started studying the realistic human face rather than stylizing, my art improved exponentially.

In terms of tools, for digital art I’ve always used the same stuff: my Huion H610 Pro tablet and Krita. I now block in big shapes (all my paintings start in black and white) with an “oil” brush (sort of my replacement for the Loomis method) just to get proportions semi down, and then go in and refine each element of the face with an airbrush (right eye first, then the nose, mouth, left eye, and hair etc). I then go in for a final render with that same oil brush, then pull it into Photoshop and use blend modes to colour (the colouring changes for every painting, but I mostly use the colour, multiply and soft light blend modes). Then I’ll edit the painting with adjustment curves (if necessary) and retouch in colour (if necessary).

For traditional, I’ve always used a Canson XL mixed media sketchbook (the little blue one). Even though I mostly only use pencil, this sketchbook is like, always on sale, so I always just get it lol. I draw mostly in mechanical pencil, sometimes in colerase pencils. I’ve recently gotten into gouache (I have the cheap reeves set), and would love to do more watercolour despite not being great at it lol. I don’t really have a “medium” per se. I kinda play around with everything.

Here’s a photo breakdown for reference!

On the left = my very first sketches using the Loomis method. On the right = my very first digital drawing. Not much improvement for a year, I wasn’t really consistently doing much/trying out realism.

Left: I take on the challenge to draw like 15 characters for my sister in a month lol (this really got me comfortable with the digital medium). Tried out a more painterly style than the above of Roosevelt. Middle: Experimenting with values/colour. Right: Getting comfortable in my new digital style. My style looked like this for a few months.

Left: getting better at rendering/detail. Right: comfortable with rendering in a more realistic way.

Left: Really getting the hang of realistic rendering (re: the eye/eyebrow/cross). Right: ooooh, rendering is really getting better! Almost at my current style (this painting is just a bit softer).

Left: I find a new process for painting (no sketch, more shapes). Middle + right = where I’m at right now! (There’s a longer gap between 2018 + 2019 because I didn’t do as much digital art.)

Hope that helps until the video! :)

--Rachel

#art

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poguesofthebau · 4 years

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:o are you still doing ships?? Who would you ship me with!? I’m 5’5, orangish hair, pale. I love to write, draw, paint all that artistic stuff lol. I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY!! I’m super shy at first but energetic when you get to know me. I love adventure as well. Idk what else to add

my friend of COURSE i’ll ship u!!! :)

i ship you with jj!! (honorary mention: you’d make friends with kie and john b one day, randomly meeting them on the beach while they surfed and you snapped some fresh ass artsy pics of them from the shore. you’d show them the pics when they paddled back in, and they’d invite you for a meal with them at The Wreck because kie was definitely gonna force you to print those pictures so she could hang them in her house and The Chateau and boom you’re in with the pogues. especially kie ugh y’all got sister vibes and it’d be adorable)

knowing you, you’re that ‘willing to do anything to protect the people i love’ friend and that just screams jj to me. (for those who don’t know, aimee is one of the best ride or die ass bitches on this website. defends her friends always, and always the sweetest to everyone <3) when you first start coming around the pogues, i can see jj kind of brushing you off as a temporary asset. you were quieter around him than you were with the others, because he was a little more vibrant of a person and that can easily intimidate newcomers. he wouldn’t be very attentive toward you, until he noticed how hard pope was laughing at some joke you’d made under your breath on the hms pogue one day. he’d look up (from the joint he was smoking) and find everyone else giggling, pope still hunched over as he smiled brightly at you. jj’s eyes would move to you then, catching his first ever glimpse of your smile and immediately becoming a hundred times more interested in you.

that day on the boat would be the first time you truly felt like one of the pogues, and it certainly was not the last. you’d be there for jj’s next fight with rafe and topper, and the next two after that, and for the illegal searches, and petty theft, and everything else in between. sometimes, you’d find yourself not knowing what to do with your hands when jj was around. because of that, you started carrying around a digital camera or a disposable camera or a polaroid or something else to take photos with at all times. when you found it a little more difficult than usual, you’d start snapping pictures of your friends, jj always finding his way into the shots one way or another. (okay, and maybe, just maybe sometimes you made sure to get jj in the shot.) during road trips in the van, you’d start doodling cartoons or sketches of jj, and before you knew it, you were caught. soon enough, kie was taking notice of the constant drawing and taking pictures. when she confronted you about it, you hadn’t even realized how strong your feelings for jj had grown. she’d blindsided you with your own feelings, and for that reason you let your guard down and spilled every emotion you’d been trying to hide for months. (that would also be the night kie confessed her pope feels to you. wholesome friendship things <3)

you and kie would keep each other’s secrets for a few weeks after that, and then they would start to unravel on their own. for you and jj, it’d be the night of midsummers that all metaphorical cats would be let out of all metaphorical bags. kie would’ve dragged you as her date, and when the two of you realized pope was there, too, things would almost feel complete. but not quite. no john b, and still no jj. you were admittedly not doing well with jj’s being basically missing. last you knew, the kid was in a jail cell, and then his dad would’ve had to get his hands on him. that had you worried. when jj did show up to midsummers, though, you would be the first person he found. he knew john b said sarah first, but jj had to let you know he was fine-- he knew how much you’d be worrying by now, and if you found out he was in the same place as you without communicating that, he’d be in some big trouble. so he’d find you first, standing a few yards away from pope as you seemed to be approaching kie on the deck of the hotel. he’d hook a hand under your arm, spinning you with a grin on his face and ditching the tray of drinks he was holding. his smile would falter when his brain registered the blur of tears in your eyes, causing his own to widen as he put a hand on each side of your face and bent down to your level. “hey, you good? thought you might be happy to see me, but i guess--” your eyes rolled at his chuckle, and you cut him off. “jj, i never like seeing you like this. fuck, i hate him.” he’d smile again, but when his eyes met yours it seemed like he was somewhere else. “are you okay?” he’d nod, concentration apparent on his face. “yeah, i just think i should do something, if you--?” you’d look at him in confusion, shrugging and nodding even though you weren’t getting the point yet. when he started to lean closer to you, you laughed a little as realization struck you. and then, before you could even stop laughing, he was kissing you, and you knew he’d felt the same things you’d felt all along. the whole time you’d been his, he had been yours, too.

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sigritandtheelves · 5 years

Text

Hour of Lead - Part Two

(Part 1)

2.6k wds | angst | s8: Alone

A/N: This took a little longer than expected. The angst is lightening somewhat, and there will still be one more part at least (two more at the most). This story hasn’t done super well, but I’m kind of invested in working out this emotional arc the way it appeared in canon, so I hope a few folks will enjoy it, at least.

_+_

On the wall is a diagram showing the stages of cervical dilation. On the cabinet across from it, the one that holds bandages and tongue depressants and gauze, is another depicting the progress of fundal height by week. The sketched woman’s body is transparent. She is a hollow outline, backgrounded in favor of the brightly-colored ovals representing her womb. Scully tries to focus on her doctor.

“I’m worried, Dana.” The other woman’s fingers brush her elbow. “Not about the baby. The measurements are good and he’s active... but you haven’t gained much weight, which means you’re giving everything to hm. You need to take care of yourself.”

Scully nods, half-distracted. “I know.”

“What kind of support system do you have?” There’s a brief pause in which the doctor carefully avoids mentioning the child’s father. “Your mom, maybe?”

Another nod. “Yeah. Yes. I can talk to my mom. She’s not far.”

“Could she come stay with you? Help you get ready?”

“I...” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

The other woman’s eyes are blue and concerned. She touches Scully’s shoulder this time, and it is strange to feel such kindness in the gesture, to feel any touch at all. She thinks of the last time Mulder touched her—just a tentative tap of his finger on her knee, like she were made of glass or fire that might cut or burn him. She is a ticking time bomb of danger and responsibility, a capsule ready to burst under the tongue of an imperiled spy.

“Well, you need to stop working at least,” the doctor says. “You’re two centimeters dilated and that baby is fully in position. You can’t be comfortable.”

At that, Scully almost smiles. “Feels like I’m sitting on his head most of the time.”

“You basically are, Dana. It could be any time now, so I need you to keep off your feet. Stop wearing heels, don’t do any autopsies, get some rest. And more food.” She leans down, holds eye contact for a moment. “Please. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good. You’re on maternity leave, effective immediately.”

So Scully slips back into her heels, which she’ll have to give up, and back into her car, which she’ll have to stop driving, and takes herself home to her quiet apartment, feeling just a little bit like a scolded child, but also like she’d give anything to be held and taken care of until this baby comes—a break from holding everything together. Instead she gets out her tool box and drags the scattered pieces of the crib into the nursery.

It’s an hour before she’s almost in tears, trying to hold the two sides she’s assembled together so she can put the screws in place. Her arms aren’t long enough. Her belly is in the way. She tries three more times before she lets them clatter to the floor and slumps back against the wall.

Melvin Frohike finds her that way not long after. He pokes his head through the nursery door. “You rang?”

She tries to smile. Never in her life did she think she’d give this man a key to her apartment, but he’d been a surprising comfort in the months Mulder was missing. And dead. He’d brought her small tubs of ice cream and extra tissues, flowers, a pack of baby socks, pictures of Mulder to put in her scrapbook. He’d called her, drunk and sad, at least twice, and both times she’d found herself sniffling with him.

“Thanks for coming,” she says.

“Never let it be said I’m not handy. Where’s this go?” He lifts one of the crib sides and angles it near the other.

Scully hoists herself up, aligns the two pieces, and pulls a small Allen wrench from her pocket. “If you could just hold these, I can get this bolt in place.”

It’s quiet a moment while she works, setting the pieces then tightening the bolts. She doesn’t make eye contact, but she can feel him watching her.

“Okay, now this other side.”

Frohike lifts the large side piece she’s already assembled, holding it by its smooth wooden bars. “Scully,” he says.

“Hmm.”

“You’re here alone.”

Twist, twist, tighten. “I live alone.”

“You’re getting close to your due date, right? Shouldn’t someone be with you?”

She shrugs. “The doctor said someone should stay with me, but...” She leans her weight against the wrench, making sure the bolt is as tight as possible. “I can call my mom if I need to.”

She feels his eyes again and waits for it. She knows it’s coming. “Look, Scully, I know it’s none of my business. But where the hell is Mulder?”

She chuffs out a small laugh, but it’s dry, like ripping apart a fallen leaf. That was the question of the year, she supposed. Where was Mulder. “I don’t know,” she says. “At his apartment?”

“But you called me.”

“Yeah.” With three sides assembled, she drops in the slatted bottom and moves to collect the fourth side from its place against the wall. But as she stands, she finds her head swimming for a moment and her vision blurring.

“Hey, take it easy,” Frohike says. “You okay?”

She steadies herself. Nods.

“Sit. I’ll do the last side.”

She watches him for a moment, this little man who loves Mulder almost as much as she does. She passes him the Allen wrench on her way to the rocking chair in the corner. “Thanks.”

He makes quick work of the final piece. There is nothing to do now but lower the mattress into place. Frohike wiggles the corners, checking their sturdiness. “Solid,” he says, and then there is a quiet moment between them while she tries to come up with something to say.

“I don’t think Mulder… He’s still healing, I think. He needs time to adjust,” she says.

“He tell you that?”

She frowns. “When he first came back, he seemed so lost. He said he was having trouble processing everything, but I think he was angry.”

Frohike grunts.

She filters the details carefully. She doesn’t want a pity party. “He’s been doing better since, though. He brought a gift. He came over for pizza.”

“Friendly,” he says. She can se that something’s gnawing at him. He fidgets. He picks up the crib mattress from where it leans against the far wall. Then he says, “Bullshit,” and lowers it into the assembled frame.

The word hovers, sharp, in the air. He’s crossed his arms over his chest. Scully raises her eyebrow in question.

“Are you telling me that bastard got to come back from the grave and still chose to be a deadbeat dad?”

If his face were any hotter, his glasses might fog up, she thinks. She lets the words sink in. Is that what Mulder is? Too enamored of the world to be tied down by domesticity, he’d rather seek the truth alone? Scully rocks in the chair and looks toward the window. “No, it’s not like that.”

“It’s not?”

“He thought he was dying, and now he’s not. I don’t think he ever would have chosen me over his work, if…” She sighs. “I don’t think he’s ever wanted a child. And this,” she tilts her chin toward her middle, “has made me seem different to him, selfish, maybe, because I can’t do the same kind of work I did before. It… it’s not his fault. I can’t force him to want us.”

The room falls silent as Frohike considers this. She watches him clench his fist once, twice, and then he’s shaking his head. “That sonofabitch.”

—

It’s getting late and she’s drifting toward a dream, head slumped on a couch cushion. There’s a child in the dream that she can almost see, with light brown hair and hazel eyes. A baby, fat and smiling and reaching for her nose. She knows its face, has held it in her mind it a thousand times in sleep. The child moves, and suddenly it is a boy: mischief in those same eyes that turns, without warning, to sorrow. She knows those heavy lids, too, but in her waking life. They plead, contrite. I know you, she thinks.

And then the phone is ringing and she pulls her own eyes open to reveal her empty living room. It’s only her in the apartment, and the digital ring of her cordless phone, which sits just far enough away that she must strain over her own bulk to reach it.

“Hello?”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

It’s him. Of course it’s him. “Mulder?”

“I said I’d help you put it together.”

The crib. Frohike had been angry when he left, and she had no doubt he’d had words with Fox Mulder. “You didn’t need to. It’s okay.”

“Damnit, Scully, I want to help.”

“Why?”

“Because… I care about you.”

Little knives, little knives. “We’re fine, Mulder.”

There’s a sound that’s something like a laugh on the other end of the line. “I’m sure you are, but I’m worried,” he said. “Please. What can I do to help?”

Everyone so worried all the time, but what has she ever shown them but strength? She can do this alone. He doesn’t owe her anything. She wants to tell Mulder that if he wants to be useful, he could love her again. He could acknowledge his child, could remember that he told her he wanted this once.

“I have this class,” she says instead. “It’s a birthing class, and I should have done it weeks ago, but…” but you were dead and then alive again and I felt too alone to imagine being a mother. “I’m supposed to come with a partner, but my mom is busy.”

“When is it?

“Tomorrow? My doctor told me to stop working, so I’m … I’m going to get my things from the office in the morning.”

“Because your due date is…”

“The seventeenth.”

There’s a moment, a pause. “That’s this week.”

“Yeah.”

She wonders if he’s doing the math, if he’s counting the months and weeks and trying to piece together memories. Part of her wants to be angry that he hasn’t asked her due date before now, when he’s been home for weeks. Does he realize how those dates line up, she wonders? In August he’d made wishes to a genie and then taken her to see his family’s summer house where they’d loved each other from the attic to the dunes, until their muscles were rubber and their bones were tired.

Funny, she thinks, that he hadn’t wished away his disease. The thought stirs some curiosity in her, some small doubt that she files away for later.

“You shouldn’t be alone, Scully.”

She wants to laugh. She rests her head on her palm, elbow against her rounded belly. “Probably not.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

Something catches in her throat, and she must swallow it before she can talk. “Mulder, don’t offer me things I can’t really have. Don’t do that.”

She hears fabric against fabric on his end of the line as he shifts, and then the silence stretches for a moment. “What time tomorrow?”

She is balancing her heartache and her hope. She is slowly constructing the armor that will let her face him in a matter of hours. “Could you come at ten?”

“Okay,” he says.

Before she can say anything else, he hangs up.

—

He’s never watched Oprah in his life, of this she’s certain, which means he’s been reading baby books. The thought makes her feel like she’s swallowed hot rocks. She pictures him standing in a bookstore, looking confused, thinking about her and picking through books on pregnancy and birth. It is a dangerous thought that fuels a dangerous hope, so she locks the image away.

Scully is concerned about Agent Doggett: she doesn’t like the idea of him alone out there. But her anxiety about leaving work is fueled more by the sense that she’s just done exactly what Mulder has expected of her all along—that she’s quit, that she’s finally given up on the work. He tells her she’s paid her dues to the X-Files, and she wonders if he’s always thought of her relationship to the work as transactional. How much was her abduction worth? Her cancer? A gunshot wound to the gut? Infertility treatments?

Today he is all smiles and lighthearted references to the baby. At the birthing class, he seems neither surprised nor disgusted by anything the nurse says: more points in favor of her Mulder-has-purchased-baby-books theory. The nurse uses language like “dads and partners,” and Scully wonders which, if either, he is now. He helps her kneel on the pillow so she can stretch out on all fours. He presses her hips, as instructed, and it’s the most intimacy she’s felt from him since the night he left for Oregon. Her face flushes involuntarily and her heart quickens. When he helps her to stand, he holds her arms, then brushes his fingers against her middle.

“Okay?” He asks, but she’s not sure she can breathe to answer.

The baby answers instead, moving against his fingers, disturbed by the commotion and probably her rapid heartbeat. Mulder looks startled. She touches his hand before he can pull it away and holds it against the tiny limb that presses outward. The expression on his face is worth the slamming of her heart in her chest and the terror that he will withdraw.

“What is that?” He asks, ignoring the nurse who has asked them to move into a new position.

“A knee, I think.”

Mulder shakes his head: here is the wonder she’d looked for in those first days, turning his lips up and his eyes to hers. She smiles at him—they are smiling at each other in a moment she didn’t think possible.

“Dana? You okay?” The nurse checks in and the moment breaks. He pulls his hand away and looks at the floor.

“Fine,” she says, rubbing her abdomen. “Just some acrobatics.” And she moves to sit as the others are doing, stretching her legs, shifting her hips and thinking about the baby moving down down and out into the world.

After, he buys her lunch from a sandwich shop and watches to make sure she eats. “I want to know what it’s been like for you,” he says. “Were you sick in the beginning?”

She stops chewing, and the food feels heavy in her mouth. When she manages to swallow, she says, “Yeah, some. I was tired and dizzy… remember Oregon?”

“That was... because you were pregnant.” She watches him realize what she had figured out months ago. Suddenly he seems less hungry.

“It got worse after that, and then right when it started to get better… well, everything was worse. If I’m being honest, I don’t even remember the middle very well.”

“But you made a scrapbook.”

She looks at him. “Yeah. I did.”

He nods and takes a sip of his soda. “I don’t want you to be alone anymore. I’ll drop you off, and then I’m going to pack some things and come back. I’ll sleep on the couch if you want, but I won’t let you be alone.”

Scully’s stares at her sandwich, face growing hot, hope and fear of disappointment at war. He is being overprotective, maybe. He’s worried about her. He’ll stay until the baby comes, sure, help them get settled, and then head back to his apartment with his fish and his singular quest. Even if that’s true, can she say no to his company? Could she ever reject the near proximity of Fox Mulder?

“Okay,” she says.

Quiet falls between them as they whittle small bites away from their turkey clubs, eyes carefully not meeting. It’s long minutes, a humming tension, before he breaks it:

“I still love you, you know,” he says.

Scully stops breathing, until her lungs hurt and she remembers to inhale. She doesn’t answer, she can’t, but her eyes sting and she manages a small nod.

—

(end part two)

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#a thing i wrote #hour of lead #part two #s8 #angst angst baby

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over-a-new-leaf · 4 years

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self-care 101 (covid-19 period)

Since we’ve rolled round to another May bank holiday, I thought it’d be nice to share some tips with you. As a homebody, and someone who will do absolutely ANYTHING to avoid one specific boring activity, I’ve racked up quite a long list over the past few years. Obviously, I’m no professional - but I find these help. There’s no specific chronological order to these - just pick and choose as you like!

Get out of bed!

Or lie in if you need to. Whatever makes you feel good

Start off the day with some yoga or meditation, or basic stretches

Or pray for a bit if you’re religious

Make your bed: tuck your sheets in, rearrange your pillows, etc.

Brush your hair and tie it up nicely

Pick out a cute outfit - could even be your favourite PJs - and lay it out

Go take a soothing shower, or a bubble bath

Use a bath bomb, get some nice candles if you feel like it

Put on some nice music to relax to

Try out a new hairstyle or style your hair the way you would if you had somewhere to be!

Slap on some makeup, why not? :)

Floss your teeth, or maybe use that teeth whitening formula you never picked up again after using it for the first time

Pick out a recipe for a hair mask or face mask and put it on

Before doing any of these, make sure they suit your hair & skin type

E.g. if you have frizzy and dry hair, use a moisturising and rejuvenating mask vs if you have sleek, straight hair - use a volume-enhancing mask. Same goes for your skin - evaluate whether you have dry skin, oily skin or combination

Stick to the recommended leave in time! It can be extremely difficult to get out later otherwise

Or make your own mask! There’s tons of recipes on YouTube and Google :)

Make yourself a nice breakfast

Breakfast smoothies are amazing! A really simple recipe I use contains a few spoonfuls of oats, handful of fruits (e.g. blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, grapes), honey / sugar by taste and yogurt.

Or a nice bowl of your favourite cereal

Avocado toast - there are so many different varieties of this online, and I bet you’ll find that you like.

A fruit salad!

Eggs done the way you like

A full English if you’re feeling ambitious

Workout for an hour or so

This doesn’t have to be really equipment intense or challenging if you don’t want it to be

Some YouTubers I recommend: Chloe Ting, Emi Wong, Fitness Blender, MadFit, Blogilates, Yoga with Adrienne, etc.

Don’t over exert yourself. Take longer than the recommended break time between exercises if you need to

Grab a new book, or a book you just enjoy reading

You can browse through Spotify for any playlists to listen to while reading - or use a playlist of songs you like

Listen to some music you like

Or discover some new music using Spotify’s ‘Discover’ feature

Preferably something that lifts your mood!

Pick out a recipe you’ve been meaning to try and just make it!

Dance around the house to some music

This can also be a sort-of-workout!

You can try learning a routine

TikTok dances are so stupidly fun

Maybe get a friend on vid-call and learn a dance with them

Make some TikToks

Or duet some on the app!

Get out a new bottle of wine - it’ll make you feel boujie ;)

Or your drink of choice - I’m not big into alc so I usually love a cool mint lemonade or iced coffee

Sit outside if the weather is nice

Or even if it’s rainy! I particularly love rainy days

Go for a walk around your neighbourhood

Do some grocery shopping! It can be surprisingly fun when you’re in no rush - plus, that’s a task off your future to-do list

Go meet a friend - stand at least 2m away and have a chat

Or text/ call your family / friends

Houseparty is great to use because it’s got games that you can play together if you’re not big on talking

Watch that TV series / movie you’ve been trying to get round to

Play with your pet, if you have one!

Do a cute lil photoshoot

Put on a nice outfit and take some nice pictures using the timer

Pictures with your pet

Or take pictures of your surroundings when outside

Or of the new dish you’ve impulsively made

Grab a pretty notebook

Start a bullet journal

Or a diary!

Do some journalling using journal prompts online

One really simple activity I really like is writing out 3 things that made my day :)

If you’re a poet or writer - write write write!

Maybe take the first step towards starting a blog (like I did last week, aha)

Play a musical instrument

Or pick up something you haven’t played in a while

Try learning some basic chords online

Or just play your favourite music if you’re a professional

Sing along to your music!

Search up some online webinars and virtual events to attend

Lots of professional webinars on LinkedIn, even Facebook at times

Live museum and art gallery tours on Google!

Try some meditation

Headspace is a great freemium app, among others

Use a guided meditation from YouTube

Create a Pinterest account and start making boards

These can be pretty pictures

Or things you’ll have in your future house

Workout routines

Even more self-care recommendations

Sketching

There’s this activity where you put your playlist on shuffle and draw what comes to your mind when you hear each song

Or just search up an image online and draw it

Doodle in your bullet journal / book if you have one

Embroider/ stitch some of your old clothes

Plenty of tutorials online!

You can stitch in some cute images :)

Try a new podcast

There are so many to explore on Spotify under the Podcasts section

Or watch something on YouTube

Learn something new if you feel like it

Pick up a subject area of interest and search it up on YouTube

You’ll get so many results!

Reorganise your house / room

Put on some music to jam along to while doing this!

Vacuum

Or just tidy all those papers off the desk

Reorganise your drawers

Fold your clothes

Dust any surfaces - super satisfying!

Maybe spice up your furniture placement

Try moving things around - be careful not to strain yourself

Do some laundry maybe

Yawn, but can be satisfying once you’ve done it!

Purge your wardrobe of any old clothes

You can donate them to charities

Or sell them on apps like Depop

Do some online shopping

Be careful not to spend too much though! :)

Download a photoprint app and get some pictures printed

There’s a lot of apps that offer you __ amount of free prints with delivery costs - not a bad deal!

You can finally make a photowall / collage

Try some scrapbooking

Get out some old newspapers and magazines and cut out any pictures of words that particularly catch your eye

Make pretty lil collages or spreads with them

Reorganise your digital folders

E.g. bookmarks on Chrome

Saved folders on Insta

Email folders

To Do lists

Give them pretty names so you’re more likely to use them in future

Catch up on some much needed sleep

Afternoon cat naps are actually lovely!

Make yourself some tea or coffee and just sit by the window with some music

Cliché and niche, but makes you feel calmer!

Try some chai recipes online if you’re into relatively milky tea or trying out new recipes

I’m not a big fan of chai ^ which is surprising as an Indian, but my family and friends love it soo

Do something with your family / roommates

Movie night!

Group dinners (even better - themed dinners!)

Or a fine dining wine night (bonus points if you dress up!)

Board games night

Or just games night e.g. charades, Headbandz, Psych (app)

DnD - never tried it but sm people have recommended it!

Make some TikToks

Sit around and chat

This is random but you can make PPTs about things you like and present them to each other - good for shit n giggles :)

Play an old online game e.g. Fireboy and Watergirl!

Create each other in the Sims

Organise some friendly competitions :)

Truth or Dare?

Look at star sign stuff with them - whether you believe or not, it’s an interesting thing to do nonetheless

Do Enneagram tests - extremely interesting and scarily accurate from my personal experience

Experimental cocktails maybe!

Some DIY arts and crafts!

Pitch a tent outside

Or make a pillow fort inside

Speaking of which - pillow fights!

Karaoke night

Or set up your own club - make a playlist, get some strobe lights or turn off the lights and get everyone to switch on their phone flash and just dance around. Get some drinks if you want as well!

Have a BBQ - great to do especially in the afternoons or early evenings!

Have a date night if it’s just the two of you :)

Have a picnic outside

Text someone something nice!

Win-win for the sender and the recipient :)

Great chance to reconnect with someone

Cleanse your devices & social media profiles

Change your profile pictures, bios

Archive / delete some pictures (we’re all guilty of this)

Maybe restart your account if you haven’t used it in too long, have too many random followers or just want to start afresh

Check your phone storage and delete stuff accordingly

Change your wallpaper / theme

Back up old pictures and delete them off your device

And that’s my list for now! I might add to it later if something comes to me but I hope you guys enjoy this! :)

Image credits:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/151574343695926876/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/579627414531062674/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/AQzIfTN5EwSc9JESrIo1l8AQw6cznXq2HLFq_SQk6La00-yL2As1QnY/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/499055202462999051/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/328481366576228467/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/6262886962801682/

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