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#i cant remember ONE time she was EVER mean to any of her comrades
fightaers · 3 months
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i just read a TERRIBLE sakura slander i have to actually sit down oh my god
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itsdappleagain · 7 months
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i know csweekly is on hold now, but I still have to catch up on The Luchadora Tango Caper, so here it is!!
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Season 3 is maybe my least favorite season out of any of them, but I still love it, so I'm really excited to get into this!
Notes under the cut as always and please ignore the fact that I'm a month late on this thx
NEW CASTLE!!! NEW CASTLE YAYYY
sometimes I think this whole series is Maelstrom just talking about shit for like 14 hours
cleo sympathizing with guys in skirts <3 she knows ur struggle boys
love how they slapped up a giant glowing green world map and copper sulfate burning chandeliers before they put in insulation or heat
brunt, girl, calm down. they were just doing their evil minion bagpipe job
british on british violence
that was such a cute nod when this season first dropped. haha theres been no sign of her all summer because of the hiatus you are so clever
they rlly thought they had something with the turn them against each other thing. i cant believe they thought they tvy7 rating would let shadowsan and carmen kill each other 🙄
"carmen is DEAD" (cheery tango music)
i mean it works because we know hes wrong and stupid but like
no offense but the tango dancers are animated in a way that is reminiscent of a kid manually moving their barbie dolls legs to make them walk
our girl <3
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tell me why dropping 200 feet onto the top of the metal detector was more sneaky than literally anything else she could have done
ok. yes. but the fact she is robbing it does not negate the fact that she will be on the news for breaking into a bank dsjfsdghfkdsa
1021 is the number on the box- could it mean something? in a strictly doylist sense. october 21st doesn't seem to have any significant holidays...I can't find anything, might just be a random number set.
good god the "i...have his eyes." hits me like a truck every time
gina pulled it out with the voice acting in this one
she WAS a very cute baby
"another" link girl what else has there been you should be ecstatic
ayyy its the character literally everyone except spintrap-stan and amaryllis solely remember for being voiced by dante basco
i love how snarky carmen immediately gets. if he knows her name and what she looks like, obviously he's an operative, so she gets to have a little fun in immediately declining him while still gaining valuable information, almost immediately, about who he is and what his talent will be
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everyone is very stretched today
this is not my favorite fight scene honestly (at least until flytrap gets here. dont even get me started on her fighting style im in love with it) because its literally just like ooh. he kicks. she dodges. wow. they really do try with the tango parallels but idk
wow!! other people can kick too??? who knew
she protected the face
cutely runs into oncoming traffic
those cars were not even slowing down girl they were just like HONK MOVE OR DIE
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FLYTRAP MY GIRL
okay mini rant incoming i already did a post on this like a billion years ago but flytrap is one of my favorites because in my opinion she and paper star are the most dangerous villains we ever see in the show. let me. try to find that post actually
yeah here it is
flytrap is also so hot and has the same va as luz so she's just top tier. idk if the team put half the episode budget into celebrity voice actors and thats why we only got 5 episodes but you know what
love how carmen is literally stopping her attempts to get free to banter. girl. stop
shadowsan <3
love how they do not even bother showing the fight they just get their asses handed to them
why didnt they start in veracruz just asking
not the table
ok guys. you can stop with the tango thing now. its okay
that little conversation between ivy and shadowsan is so good
comrades??? sir its not the cold war
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article from 17 years ago, thank you for that easy to understand slang
carmen plot armored her way out of getting her skull smashed in on that train so hard that she made maelstrom stupid
its canon both in and outside of the show that color theory is so prevalent that any sort of red at all immediately signals carmen
the colors are so beautiful in this scene. carmen doesnt have her coat or jacket on, everythings just a little desaturated as she searches
THE ACME GANG <3333
not the finger guns and glasses wheeze hes such a loser i love him
THE FORESHADOWING TO EGYPT WITH THE PYRAMIDS ON HER LAPTOP!!!!
love how all we get of julia this season is her being pissed off and then leaving
he was such an asshole for closing her laptop why did he do that 😭
has carmen just been ignoring vile missions for the last season of the year to research her mom or
girlie is so sad about everything
ah yes, the door, the thing you wish to have opened, the best place to lean your full body against after you knock,
i'M SOrry. did you NOT attend a school for THIEVES
HSDGGDG HEY. just broke into your house. im your long lost daughter
i love how she goes DONT TOUCH ANYTHING and then immediately drags her whole arm across the wall and cabinet
also her face when she sees the masks is perfect
okay be honest how many of you have replayed carmen saying maybe mommy at least once. who. raise your hands
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shes sooo buff
love how everyone is taking this so seriously and then carmen is just completely apathetic about anything thats going on
dont deadname lupe, carmen
her hair catching a gust of indoor wind for the sole purpose of making her look sick as hell in her intro card is so iconic
as ivy absolutely obliterating zack in the foreground is so fucking funny
she got that "EH EH EH." titter of "HEY NO. DONT YOU DO THAT" down scary well
devineaux strutting im sobbing. julia was doing SO well and then she got paired with devineaux AGAIN
that cab driver looks so concerned about the hulking texan in his backseat
remember when the trailer dropped and we thought those roses were for julia. good times
everyone narrowly avoiding each other as they pull in
you just know ivy smacked zack when he protested to decoy time hdsafhadsg
gotta say the "EH?" while getsuring to the trophies is fucking hilarious. obviously julia knows she wouldnt go after those but its so funny
i do love the way carmen just shrinks any time brunt appears. she is soooo traumatized
VAMOOSE EL MASKO SHES SO ACCURATREIUSDHKFSKHFD SHES EXACTLY WHAT MIDDLE AGED AMERICAN SOUTHERNERS SOUND LIKE
LUPE IS SO FUCKING COOL
devineaux showcasing his braincells for a spilt second this episode
ah, so begins the not a good time mantra
devineaux getting absolutely decimated because he thinks coach brunt thinks hes handsome is so funny
the referee watching two apparent civilians enter the ring: 🙂
carmen is so funny here. she uncuffs herself and then just leaves devineaux to die like fuck his ass he can get smooshed
carmen getting increasingly mad at devineaux while she drags him places is my favorite part of the episode
also, either carmen got stronger or devineaux had a few bouts of crazed research where he didnt eat, but she can drag him easily now as opposed to when she was struggling back at the trap in poitiers
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they put this shot in the trailer and without context it just looked like carmen was standing there glaring at brunt menacingly
the cat burglar <3
worst fucking ref on the planet i love him
was carmen stopping to listen to julia's voice i would like to think so
ah the devineaux and cars gag. i mean, to be fair, it wasnt his fault this time
starts beatboxing
carmen really just dumped her whole life story on lupe thats so funny. girlie started the day preparing for a match, got her house broken into, and then ended the day learning about a global crime syndicate
they really ended s2 going THE NEXT SEASON WILL FOCUS ON CARMENS MOM and then started s3 going well actually um okay so
theres our transition sentence
lupe's yellow and blue palette btw!! cs color theory i love you
lupe is more of a mom than carlotta ever gets to be thats sad honestly
carmens little smile ough
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here is a shot that very succinctly illustrates the dynamics in the coming seasons. the three at the table stand strong- always have. roundy is basically a footnote no one cares about him and then brunt...brunt is sort of on the edge. this carries over all the way into s4 when malestrom tries to drown her
oh my god i forgot about the weird halloween thing the faculty has going on this season i love it
my analysis is right in time for spooky season >:) halloween IS nearly upon us!!!
OKAY well my thoughts on the luchadora tango caper...pretty good. honestly its kind of net zero information because we introduce the premise of finding carmens mom and then immediately abandon it but it sets up um....well....it sets up....what does it set up
anyway- not my favorite episode, even though lupe is fucking awesome. i think it suffers a little from deviating from that classic caper structure and jumping around, but it does its job as an introductory episode.
until we return, sayonara, mon amigos!
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vennilavee · 4 years
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blood, bone, heart
Pairing: levi x reader (attack on titan)
Summary: you’re a former squad leader, now on levi’s special operations squad. this is the aftermath of your fallen teammates after encountering the Female Titan. 
Warnings: death, cursing
Word Count: 3182
A/N: listen i cant get levi out of my head ever since watching AoT. big shout out to @phen0l for inspiring this- honestly the line “If you want me to stop, I’ll stop. But if you ever need to be weak, you can be weak in front of me.” inspired this entire story lmao
***
If you had been faster, maybe you could have saved them. Maybe you could have saved someone. If you had been able to rise above your own weak heart, maybe you could have saved them. Maybe their still fresh blood wouldn’t be carelessly splattered across the trees within Titan Forest. 
Your own blood begins to drip into your eyes from an open gash on your head. All of your movements feel incredibly slow in the air, the mocking hiss of the gas from your gear whistling into silence.
It’s just you, your dead teammates and the Female Titan in the middle of the forest. You can vaguely hear Eren screaming for you. Screaming for your dead teammates. Screaming for Levi. You hear yourself shouting at Eren to get out of here as you unsheath your blades with a sharp click. 
Her eyes are narrowed at you, as if daring you to come forward. You lunge forward, ignoring the black spots in your vision and wondering how this was the moment. How this was the moment that you were surely going to die.
What a way to die, though. Alongside your friends. Your team. Your family.
But Levi. Your Captain. Your Captain who has lost so much. Your Captain who just lost his team, his team that you could do nothing to save.
Rage washes over you, and you hear Eren screaming again. Except it feels much closer this time, the pain reverberating in your ears. Your ODM cables latch on to the shoulders of the Female Titan, your blades are swift, and you’re so close, you can nearly taste the shredding of her muscles-
And then you’re in the air again, an arm around your waist. You’re hurtling through the air, away from the Female Titan. Eren is still screaming- god, won’t that kid just shut up? 
Your arms are still outstretched towards the Female Titan and you look up, only to be met with Levi’s unreadable but piercing gaze. Something flickers across his face but it’s gone as soon as it comes.
You realize that it’s not Eren who’s been screaming this whole time. It’s you. Your throat is certainly bleeding by now, at the very least, it feels sore but it means nothing as you glance over Levi’s shoulder and see Petra’s body slumped against the tree. She’s facing the sky with empty eyes and it makes your blood go cold. Petra had always loved being outdoors- every time the two of you were outside, whether it was for training or finding wood, she told you to quit complaining about whatever chore it was, because at least you were able to be outside.
Her eyes had always been full of wonder and been brighter than the sky itself whenever she was in the presence of a bright, blue sky. You think she’s brighter than the sun itself.
And now her body is going cold, rotting at the floor of this forest of Hell.
You can’t see Oluo or Eld’s mangled bodies in the trees. You can’t see Gunther hanging from his broken cables. You only see the Female Titan, and you only see a distant, cold rage that buries itself deep in your throat. It rips through you with the force of a thousand blades and Levi tightens his hold when you start fighting against his grip with murder in your eyes.
Their bodies are fading away from your sight, meshing with the trees and shadows but you need to go back.
“I need to kill her,” You say hoarsely, the first sentence you’ve said since Levi found you.
“No,” Levi says easily, and you push against him again.
“I can do it. I need to do it!” You exclaim and wince when your side rubs against Levi’s cape.
“No. You’re out of gas, you’re bleeding from your head and you have a concussion. Our team is dead and I won’t-” Levi cuts himself off with a soft ‘tch’, “No. Be quiet. Listen.”
He says it so easily, as if his team being dead doesn’t shatter him. No matter how used to it he is, it always hurts like the first time. He doesn’t allow his mind to wander, ignoring past faces to focus on yours.
A bright flash of electricity, of green and yellow, and then a roar of pain that could only belong to a Titan. 
“Eren,” You whisper. Levi says nothing, only looking ahead through the trees. His slate grey eyes are as distant as ever and you take a page out of your Captain’s book and swallow the immense loss. You store the memories of Petra’s hauntingly empty eyes, of Oluo’s half broken face, of Eld’s mangled legs, of Gunther with a hole in his chest. You store them in a place that you’ll open later, when you have no other choice to.
For now, you hold onto Levi as he whisks you away to safety.
***
You’ve seen death. You’ve seen the death of comrades, of enemies, of teammates, of acquaintances over the years. Every time you think you can stomach it for the next time, it feels like the first time. This feels different, though. Maybe it’s because Levi squad has been one of the longest standing teams in the Survey Corps thus far. Maybe you had gotten comfortable, maybe cocky, maybe invincible with the Wings of Freedom on your back. 
You had been in the Survey Corps longer than any of them- you and Erwin had been in the same training group. You’re a veteran of the Corps by all means and had been a Squad Leader under Commander Shadis. But when Erwin had become Commander, he asked you to join the Special Operations Team, to be headed by Levi.
It made sense. Despite the years you’d put into the Survey Corps, you know Levi was meant to be Captain. Mike and Hange had teased you, telling you that it must have stung to know that a newcomer in comparison to you was promoted before you. And now you’d be his subordinate.
You had taken it in stride, telling them that Levi would have to earn your respect before you’d ever call him Captain. But in reality, he had your respect. All of it. You’ve seen him in action, you’ve seen him make difficult calls. You’ve seen him from the beginning, from when Erwin had brought him up from the Underground District. He’s always had your respect.
As a veteran, you should know better than to fight Levi on trying to go back for your team. You should know better than to recklessly face off with the Female Titan when you had no gas and were clearly injured.
But this time. This time, it was different. You’ve known helplessness, but this pales in comparison. 
Your breaths are steady against Levi’s neck, eyes focused behind him and around the periphery. The sun is heavy against your back as she breathes down your neck. You look up, eyes tearing from the intensity of it. The adrenaline begins to wear off, black dots coating your vision and Levi feels you slumping against him. He looks down at you, seeing your eyes starting to close.
He calls your name, shaking you awake, “Stay awake. That’s an order.”
You groan and rub the side of your face, “Yes, Captain.”
“We’re close,” Levi says, looking ahead and you nod as you try to fight off the urge to close your eyes.
***
Levi has never known you to be reckless. You’re many things- quick on your feet, intuitive and seasoned, but not reckless. So he doesn’t know what to think when he finds you flying towards the Female Titan with your blades in front of you. With blood dripping down your face and pain being ripped from your throat.
If he was listening from far away, he would almost think that your screams are the screams of a Titan.
He doesn’t know what to think of the bloodlust in your eyes and the already settling grief underneath. You’ve been around long enough to know how to grieve.
He supposes he doesn’t know what to think of you right now because he feels it, too. Tendrils of a familiar pain and anguish squeeze around his heart, curling into him in a way that shouldn’t feel as much like home as it does.
But Levi hates seeing it painted in the lines of your face. He has to get you out of there before you get yourself killed.
He could handle it if you did get yourself killed, he thinks grimly, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to carry your broken body back to the base. He doesn’t want to put you on the pyre, with your other fallen teammates. Levi has to see you blink at him in annoyance at least once more. Levi has to feel you playfully shove him during training at least once more. Levi has to see you rag on the younger recruits at least once more. Levi has to have another cup of tea with you once more.
Today is not the day that he’ll lose you. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
Just as the Female Titan is about to squash you with her hand, you lower your blades and a flash of acceptance settles on your face. Just as you begin to accept that you’re not making it out of this alive, Levi swoops in and it takes a minute for it to register in your mind.
If this was any other time, you would make a joke. Maybe call him your mysterious hero and make eyes at him. Or you’d chew him out for thinking he had to save you so dramatically- this isn’t a fairy tale, Levi, you don’t need to be my prince.
But this isn’t any other time, is it? Levi catches a glimpse of Petra. Oruo. Gunther. Eld.
Levi has never known you to be reckless, but he mostly understands. This is your family. This is his family. 
But still, even as he holds you close to him, he can’t help but think. You should know better.
***
You can’t seem to face Levi in the coming days. What were you thinking that day? Did you have a death wish?
You can hear your Captain’s words ringing in your ears. The day the Survey Corps had returned to base, he had scolded you. You think it’s the most he’s ever said at one time-
“Do you have a death wish?” He asks you calmly, eyes striking and icy. You remember the first time these eyes had seen you. You felt exposed and vulnerable. It feels that way once more.
“Levi-” You protest but he cuts you off.
“Do you have a death wish?” Levi repeats, “You think I want to find my second in command with her blades down like that? What were you thinking?”
A pause. Levi thinks you might walk away from him but your eyes turn to steel.
“You should have left me there. I should have died with them,” You say evenly, eyes never leaving his, “I couldn’t save them. It’s only fair.”
“Fair?” Levi scoffs, “Don’t be so… naive. Nothing is fair about any of this, and you know it. You’re lucky I was there-”
“Lucky? You didn’t see them die, Levi. You didn’t hear Eren. You didn’t see Gunther strangled with his own cables. Eld and Uruo get their faces ripped off. Petra’s neck breaking.”
You swear his eyes soften for a moment.
“All I could do was watch,” You whisper, voice cracking, “All I did was watch. I don’t have a death wish, but fuck Levi. Being alive is hard right now. I can’t find a…”
I can’t find a reason. He can hear it in your voice.
“Get some sleep,” Levi says, not unkindly. You nod and salute your Captain, heading back to your room. 
You lay awake all night, Petra’s lifeless eyes haunting you.
You’re eating alone in the mess hall, acutely aware that the new recruits are whispering and looking in your direction. You don’t have the energy to tell them to fuck off, or bark at them and ask why they’re wasting time. You hear Eren telling them to shut up and you manage to look up and offer him a smile.
You push your food around on the plate disinterestedly. Why is that day haunting you like this? You’ve lost close teammates before. You’re grieved and moved on relatively quickly each time. Because that was what you were taught in the Survey Corps. To keep moving on. To not regret, because regret makes you question your decisions. It makes you weak.
But how can you not regret? How can you not regret when every time you blink, you see dead faces behind your eyelids?
Maybe it’s a lifetime of suppressing the death of everyone around you. Maybe it’s survivor’s guilt. Either way, you feel like you’re drowning and you can’t seem to find your way to the surface the way you’ve managed to before.
You were out of line with Levi. Telling him he wasn’t there to see his team die. That was a low blow, considering what he’s shared with you about his own past. You need to apologize to him. If anyone would understand, it’s Levi.
Your cold, harsh, unwelcoming Captain. Your Captain that you would die for, though you’re not sure what that means anymore.
***
Hange has already told Levi twice that you’re a shell of yourself. That over the days, you’ve become withdrawn in a way she’s never seen before. Dark circles under your dark eyes are pronounced, your eyes are red with fatigue, and you look like you’re about to fall over.
Despite the brown of your skin, you look ashen and frail. It’s a look Levi hasn’t seen on you and a look that he doesn’t want to get used to.
Levi tells her to go away and to stop worrying about his team. Hange rolls her eyes but lets him be. She focuses her efforts on finding you and keeping you company, rather than scolding Levi.
Levi thinks you’ll snap out of it soon enough. But he is acutely aware when you don’t snap out of it. You and Levi were somewhat close, he would like to think. On days when you knew he was going through a tough time reconciling the present with the past, you always picked up on it and were there with tea or something stronger. Depending on the day. You weren’t afraid to approach him and while being considered Humanity’s Greatest had intimidated you for a while, it didn’t stop you from poking fun at him or from being a friend.
You annoyed him at first, when he was forced to fight with you by Erwin. You were fast, smart in the air, and were good at reading situations on the fly. But you also smiled a lot, you fed into Hange’s insanity. You had that quiet type of caring, the type where you gave everyone’s plates an extra glance to make sure they were well fed.
It was annoying. Did everyone here need to be babied?
But then he came to realize- the small things were all there was left to cherish. The small things- like the laughter of the mess hall during dinner, the cleanliness of his office, the health of his fellow soldiers, and the fact that you make tea just how he likes it.
He wondered for a while how you knew what he liked. Then he realized that you’re more observant than he gave you credit for.
***
Rather than lay in bed and stare at the ceiling with only dead faces to keep you company, you decide to brew some tea. Two cups worth of tea to be exact.
You owe Levi an apology. Now, when you think of that day, you think of Levi’s timeliness. You think of his arms around you, holding you close. You think of him telling you to stay awake. You think of the sound of his cables piercing through the air, with the Titans as background noise. You think of how you were focused on him, and him only.
You think of how despite the layers of dirt, grime, and blood on him, he still somehow smelled so clean. And so him. You think Petra might laugh at you for your thoughts, and that makes you smile.
It’s the middle of the night, the moon hidden by the clouds but the stars illuminating the sky. Moonlight filters in through the window, leaving a silvery hue on your skin.
Two soft knocks at his bedroom door. You wonder if he knows it’s you. You can’t tell if he does when he opens the door, his face as impassive as ever. Levi is only in his white shirt and black pants, but you focus on him.
“What’s this?” He asks, lips pulled back into something resembling a smirk.
“An apology in the form of tea,” You murmur. He pulls the door open further, indicating that you can come in.
“Can’t sleep?” Levi prompts. 
You sit on his bed as if you’ve been there a hundred times before. 
“Know the feeling?” You snort, offering him his cup of tea. Levi sits next to you, and you ignore his leg brushing with yours. He waits for you to say something, but your eyes are cast into your cup of tea.
“I’m sorry,” You begin, “For saying what I said that day. It’s not fair to throw their deaths in your face like that.”
“You were angry. It has to go somewhere. I can take it, I’m your Captain. That’s my job.”
“Yes, but…” You pause, unsure of your words, “Who takes it for you?”
The question makes Levi pause and you wonder if you’ve crossed a line. He says nothing, but he doesn’t tell you to get out. So that’s a good sign. He just drinks his tea.
“You call me your second in command,” You whisper, reaching for him, “I can take it, too.”
Levi turns his head to face you, slate grey eyes seemingly blue in the moonlight. You’re stricken with the urge to push his hair back and you do. Or at least, you attempt to. He catches your wrist just as you’re about to touch him. He’s only a few breaths away- you can see the sharpness of his cheekbones and the reflection of the moonlight in his eyes. His grip is gentle, reminding you a little bit of that day when he had saved you from sure death.
“Don’t do that again,” Levi whispers, something soft cracking and swirling in his eyes, “I can’t find you like that again. I can’t-”
“I know,” You reply with a small smile, “I know. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better. I’m glad you found me.”
“Look forward with me,” Levi murmurs, thumb rubbing your hand, “Look forward with me.”
His touch sends an unfamiliar electric calmness through you and you nod. Levi takes another sip of his tea, hand warm over yours as you both sit in silence. He won’t lose you today. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
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itshesdimples · 4 years
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-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 
I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 
I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 
2 MONTHS AGO
"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.
"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.
You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 
As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.
* 9 MONTHS AGO* 
The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 
"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 
Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 
"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 
"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.
"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 
"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 
The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.
"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.
He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 
"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 
"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 
"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 
For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 
(FLASHBACK)
"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.
"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 
(END OF FLASHBACK) 
Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.
"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 
*7 MONTHS LATER* 
Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 
The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 
You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 
But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 
*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *
"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.
"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.
That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 
Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 
As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 
"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 
You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 
The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 
Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 
"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 
You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 
"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.
"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 
You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 
Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 
Is there a message? 
That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 
"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 
"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 
[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 
Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 
"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 
"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 
You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 
All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 
If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 
Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever. 
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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years
Text
Baby its Cold Outside (Part 5)
Bakugo x Reader
Just a really sad Bakugo
Words: 1729
PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE
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This can’t be happening. This isn't real. This was his biggest fear. Y/n lay limp in his arms, blood pooling at a rapid pace. 
He let an anguished, almost feral scream. It was so loud there was the slightest pause in all the fighting. He hugged you tight to him and rocked you back and forth. “You cant be gone. You cant. You promised. You promised me y/n that you wouldn't put yourself in danger...” He kept muttering as tears streamed down his cheeks. 
Iida knelt down next to him, “Bakugo, she’s still alive. Her pulse is faint but its there. She’s a fighter. Now I need you to let go of her so I can get her out of here and to a hospital. Okay?” 
He gave you one last hug before giving you a long kiss on the forehead. “Please save her Iida.... please.” 
Iida leaned over and picked you up gently before sprinting off, away from the fighting. Once Iida was out of sight Bakugo wiped his tears and looked to the ongoing fighting around him. Backup was on the way... but they weren't going to need them because... because he was going to kill all of them. 
Bakugo knew what anger felt like. Before y/n, it was his primary emotion. But now sitting here in a pool of her blood..... He had never felt a rage like this before. Ignoring the screaming pain in his legs he stood up. “ANYONE WHO DOESNT WANT TO GET BLOWN THE FUCK UP GET BEHIND ME NOW!” 
His fellow heros knew this was not an empty threat and all made an effort to scamper behind him. He didn't waste any time, sending off the biggest explosion he’s ever had right as the last person got out of the way. He could feel his hands cracking under the pressure and his head felt like a balloon. But he just yelled through the pain and pushed harder. These fuckers were going to pay for what they did. 
All the sudden it all stoped. He grunted in frustration as Aizawas hand came down on his shoulder, “It’s okay Bakugo... You got them.” In all honestly Bakugo’s emotional outburst scared his comrades. They had never seen him so out of control, so vulnerable,.... so powerful. He had left the entire alleyway in charred bits and pieces. His flames had gotten so hot that he could see a sizzling pile of bones off to the side. He was unstable. He was losing it. He was scaring them. 
He looked at Aizawa with numb eyes, “Is Y/n..... Is she.....” 
He couldn't even bring himself to say it. Saying it out loud would make it true. She's not gone, she cant be. 
“Last I heard she’s in critical condition. She’s in surgery and we won't know much more until she gets out.” 
Bakugo slumped down to his knees. Gravity was taking him. He was exhausted. He was in pain. His body was begging to just shut down so he didn't have to deal with this anymore. “Please bring me to her.”
Aizawa leaned down to inspect Bakugo's mangled leg, “Well she’s at the hospital which is where you definitely need to be right now. She won't be out of surgery for hours, so let’s see if we can get that leg looked at while we wait.” 
He gritted his teeth, “I don't care about my fucking leg....” 
This time Izuku and Kirishima stepped up next to him, each taking an arm to help him walk. Kirishima turned to Aizawa, “Thank you for coming to help... but I think we can handle it from here. We’ll get him to the hospital and call and let you know once we know anything.” 
Bakugo grunted as they started moving, “Deku... I asked you to do one fucking thing...” Then he blacked out. 
*************
He woke up to a beeping noise. He almost expected to wake up in a hospital bed. But instead he was on a cot in someone else's room. He groaned as he sat up. His head was killing him. 
“Hey man take it easy you’ve been asleep for for almost two days. Don’t sit up too fast.” 
Kirishima was sitting in a very uncomfortable looking chair with a magazine in his lap. “Where am I. Whats going on?” 
Kirishima gave him a sad look, “We’re in the hospital man. Recovery girl fixed up your leg but your hands are going to need a while to heal. You went plus ultra and them some... How are you feeling?”
The memories all flooded back to him and hit him truck. Y/n... 
“Don’t fuck with me and don't sugar coat it shitty hair.... Is she... Did she...?” 
Kirishima put a hand on his shoulder, “See for yourself.” And gestured behind him. 
Bakugo was slow to get up, almost scared at what he would see behind the curtain. He pulled it back with a bandaged hand and his breath got stuck in his throat. There you were. You had a thick breathing tube down your throat, and there was a bandage on your forehead but it was you. Tears pricked his eyes as he pulled up a chair and sat next to you and took your hand. “How did I get here... I mean why didn't I wake up in a room of my own?” 
Kirishima blushed, “Well uh... Technically you do have a room, and technically you are supposed to be in there. But I knew when you woke up the only thing you’d care about was y/n... and I was scared you might blow the place up. So I moved you here and have been keeping a lookout for you.” 
He didn't deserve a friend like him. 
And so a routine began. Bakugo sat in one chair while Kirishima sat in the other. Kirishima would always go get food sometimes Bakugo would actually eat it. They didn't talk much other than the occasional small talk, which he was thankful for. 
After about a week and a half Kirishima convinced him that he needed a real shower and good nights sleep in his own bed. But Bakugo didn't want to back to his apartment without you. It would feel too empty. 
So he did something kind of impulsive. He called your landlord and terminated your lease. He spent the next three days moving all of your stuff into his place. 
It was almost therapeutic. During this time he could pretend you were just off on a mission and he was going to surprise you when you came home. He cleaned out half of his closet and scoffed at how many pairs of shoes you had. He swears he’s only seen you wear like 3 or four of them. 
He was judging you the whole time he cleaned out your kitchen, “Shit does she really not own any real food.” He wondered how you survived before you started dating. 
He was doing okay until he got to the hoodie he ha leant you all those months ago in the snow. He held it to his nose and sure enough it smelt like you. He didn't have many tears left in him so he just sat there in the middle of your almost empty apartment and stared at it. Your last words echoing in his ears. 
You had said you loved him... And he never got the chance to say it back... What if he never gets to. 
Next thing he knew he was back at the hospital. It was way past visiting hours but he’d like to see someone try to keep him out. 
He ended up back in that same chair he basically lived in and took your hand. “Y/n.. you stubborn stubborn women. You have no idea what you’re putting me through. Remember when I asked you, no scratch that begged you to always put your safety before mine? I know you do because we’ve fought about, like a lot. Well you just had to have the last word huh?” 
He put his head down on his other hand while he played with your fingers, “I moved all your stuff into my apartment by the way. I know you’ll probably throw a fit when you find out because I didn't ask you first but I’m okay with that.” 
“You now you really need to wake up soon. Your birthday is coming up and if we’re being honest I don't remember which day it is. I only remember its in February because at UA I would always get you something and slip it into your bag when you weren't around. And you’d always comment later that someone kept forgetting your birthday but you couldn't figure out who it was... yeah that person was me.”
He didn’t know why he was so nervous. It wasn’t like you could hear him anyways. “Listen what I really came here for... was to tell you... I love you too. Its not a new thing either. I think on some level I’ve always loved you. Even that first day when everyone thought we were going to kill each other. Do you remember?”
“You were sitting on a bench in the courtyard practically shaking from nerves. You were terrified of the entrance exam. I, being the charming asshat that I am, decided to call you out for it. I think I called you a weak ass crybaby. Told you heros aren't scared of anything.” 
He paused laughing at what came next, “Well you weren't having any of that. No. So you teleported behind me and pulled down my pants in front of all the students about to take the entrance exam. Oh I was so mad! But then you teleported back with that stupid gorgeous smirk on your face and you told me, heros were never caught with their pants down either yet here we are. I remember I was so mad I blew up the bench you were sitting on. It’s still there you know? After all these years, there's just a charred bench that no body sits on.” 
He picked his head up to look at you, “You know if this was one of the cheesy movies you always make me watch, you would have woken up while I was talking... I really cant do this without you baby. Please wake up already.”
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halorocks1214 · 4 years
Text
the law of relativity
AO3 Link
Word Count: 9963
Summary: The Law of Relativity states that each person will receive a series of problems (‘tests of initiation’) for the purpose of strengthening the ‘light’ within. We must consider each of these tests to be a challenge and remain connected to our hearts when proceeding to solve the problems. This law also teaches us to compare our problems to others’ problems and put everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position. It is all relative
Previous Parts (in order): Alan | Virgil | You are here! | Gordon
WHY 👏🏼 CANT 👏🏼 I 👏🏼 WRITE 👏🏼 FICS 👏🏼 IN 👏🏼 MO 👏🏼 DER 👏🏼 RATION 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 also just bluuuergh. dont ask about this fic. part of it was written in a dark auditorium, another was written in a different state, another was written on a frickin bus, this fic has been places ill tell you what. half the time i think this is hot garbage and the other half i think its actually decent so im posting this while my head is in a good headspace and then promptly yeeting myself off the internet for a few hours to wait and see what happens. this series is becoming less of a canon divergence AU and more of a straight-up AU because of certain details im trying to worm in there buT IM TRYING MY BEST
thanks once more to @gumnut-logic, because of the length, this time i used three prompts, them being "What do you mean?", crease, and dream (and they werent even used that much sksksksk)
Warnings for both graphic and non-graphic depictions of violence, as well as mentions of torture and other PTSD/panic attack related stuff. I went deep with this one fellas
Orphan.
The word tasted dirty in his mouth.
He can still see the footage in the backs of his eyelids from when he watched it exactly one year ago. He was the only other (living) adult at the time in the family outside of Grandma, so he was permitted to see it. He remembered they originally didn’t want to show him, mainly because of his age, but Grandma was fierce, and she put one hell of an argument on the table.
One Scott refused to let fall through the cracks by breaking down. If only Grandma knew how he cried his eyes out and screamed to high heaven that night in the hotel room after essentially watching his father be blown to bloody smithereens then she was a goddamn saint for keeping it a secret. It made sense, she was the mother to his father. She had quite the line up of stories from Jeff’s childhood. Scott sensed the early-greying of his hair came from her, heh.
The rest of his family eventually saw it, of course, they did. Scott couldn’t shield them forever. What he will protect, selfishly he might add, was how angry he was at how much better they took it than he did. They cried, yes they did, but they never fully broke down like Scott did. Later in life, he wondered if it was jealousy: jealousy at not truly being able to let go. Whatever it was, he made sure to swallow it along with whatever alcohol he chose for the weekend.
Just add it to the ever-growing pile of shit he had to deal with. Nothing new.
Suddenly he’s 20 again and seated in a plane to be taken to his first stint in the Air Force. He said his goodbyes to Virgil, Gordon, and Alan back at home while Grandma and John metaphorically held his hand all the way to the airport. John was… quiet, more so than usual, but Grandma was stuck right in the middle between being a sobbing mess and ecstatic at the fine young man he’s become.
You’re just like your father. He would be proud.
Scott was secretly glad she never physically said it. It gave him plausible deniability in thinking that those words weren’t laced behind her big, bright, prideful eyes.
The first time went well, maybe even great. He stayed for a couple of months, did some flight tests, and while the training was brutal, boy did he learn a lot. When he came back home it was to a family slowly stitching itself back together. Grandma was a full-time house member, Virgil had taken up painting, Gordon talked about potentially going back to his swim meets, and while Alan was still as silent as ever, he was perkier than when Scott last saw him.
It would be on and off for the next few years: a couple of months at home, slowly and painfully taking over the role their father had (he can’t remember when he essentially received joint custody of his younger siblings with Grandma, but hey, he’s not complaining), then a couple of months out at the Air Force base where he slowly climbed up the ranking platform. He became skillful, perhaps too skillful. When he got his rank of Captain he felt it was less of an honor and more of something they owed him.
He was getting cocky. Never enough to be a danger to his fellow men, but enough to be somewhat of an occasional annoyance. Charles smacked him upside the head more than once. It felt like the world was right-side-up for once. Scott made many-a-calls to John and Virgil, the former enjoying his first few rotations up in space and the latter squarely in the middle of college. Gordon was being offered sponsorships to hell and back, and Alan was quietly getting along with the other kids at his school. Grandma was on welcoming duty for Kayo, who was taking her slot in the Tracy family with grace, though, a warning that their family would take custody of her if something were to happen to her parents would have been nice, Dad.
Of course, nothing ever goes right for their family for too long.
Orphan.
Age 24, it was supposed to be a simple retrieval mission of civilians. Scott was put in charge of his squad and then some. At night, they rolled-- well, flew out to get the job done. Scott can’t even remember the country anymore when minding his own business. Australia? Finland? Perhaps Bangladesh? There was a place John was insistent Scott never do rescues in, Virgil tended to agree, and the eldest unhealthily let them banish him from ever stepping foot there without argument. He could never remember the name off the top of his head until John’s familiar International Rescue, we have a situation rung out in the living room followed by the name of the country.
He would immediately forget it later, trauma too strong, too volatile, but the way his heart stopped and his head shattered and the way he felt ice water rush down his back was a good enough reason to quietly leave the room and let John delegate the job to one of his brothers. Sometimes John found him retching in the toilet halfway through the mission. He made sure to always mute Scott’s wrist communicator, even if it was never turned on in the first place.
The plane touched down. Orders sent the ground team out. But then the ground team took longer than estimated. Scott tensely waited where he was told to. It wasn’t the first mission that took a little longer than predicted and knowing humans, it surely wouldn’t be the last. Then, words mixed with heavy static came over the radio. H--p. Co-- ---7--. --nd ba---p --me--at--y.
Scott sat tensely in his seat, remembering his orders and suddenly hating them. Radio back to home if the mission goes south. Well, it didn’t look like they had the radio anymore. Still didn’t hurt to try at least. Scott spoke the familiar protocol that was ingrained into him when trying to call base. Dammit. Nothing. Probably some kind of blocker of sorts. Sitting up straight as a board, Scott looked through his options.
… He was in charge here. If something happened to his team the fault would lie squarely on his shoulders. Going against everything but his gut, he went out to help his squad. He can’t really remember what he exactly did anymore, but he does remember that it made a noise. Like a Looney Tunes scene: he flinched, froze, waited to see if anything or one heard, breathed a sigh of relief, and continued.
He eventually stumbled across one of his closest comrades, Arnold Brigeets. Yes, the name was ironic and half the reason he joined the force in the first place. The guy was one of the people that actually trained Scott and also seemed to be one of the few that was genuinely proud when Scott became a higher rank. It’s why Scott was more appreciative of Arnold than others, that, and well… Scott thought his fatherly abilities were good. The guy did have three kids back home.
Orphan.
Ducking down behind the cover his older friend was semi-situated behind, Scott watched as Arnold jumped at the intrusion before sighing. Scott had run into some enemies that he swiftly took down-- nothing too serious, he didn’t have the time or weapons for such an act, but they definitely would be out of it for a while-- so Arnold must have too on his way to find cover as well, hence why he was so on edge.
“Thank God,” Arnold wiped his forehead, “Glad to see you join us, kid.”
Scott was breathing heavily, but the grin he attempted was still there, “Y-Yeah, so what happened? More threats than we thought?”
Arnold shook his head, “Yes and no. There were a lot more baddies than we thought, but that’s because the civilians weren’t civilians. It’s a tr--”
Boom. The familiar sound of a gunshot.
Arnold fell over. Never got back up. Dropped like a rock in a lake, never to come up to the surface again.
Scott was so caught off guard he couldn’t react to the gun that swiftly beat him over the head, knocking him out cold. The only thing on his mind was oh fuck oh fuck I messed up I shouldn’t have come I wouldn’t have made any noise that way why did I--
They had him for roughly two weeks. Scott always thought the plotline in movies where the villain vehemently denied knowing any important information was dumb as hell. We’re not stupid. We wouldn’t go after someone if they didn’t know something.
The things they did hurt and no amount of I don’t fucking know anything! would help. Those two weeks were lost to Scott in a sea of pain and torment. The only thing he remembered was being captured, then waking up in a hospital drugged up to his gills with his superiors staring at him like he cured cancer.
“You saved the rest of your squad from sharing the same fate as the first half.”
“I-I did?”
“You betcha, son. I only wish I was there to see it! People be saying you were like an animal in how you took ‘em all down.”
Scott’s never remembered, and he wanted to keep it that way.
He was given the highest honors, even the chance to skip a couple of ranks to be at the same level as the big boys, but the night they were going to share the news to the golden boy himself, they found him in one of the bathrooms with a bloody hand and a mirror shattered with no hope of fixing it.
He was honorably discharged to a family that was so thankful he was home. Words like missing in action and POA never stopped haunting their nightmares. Scott was too, God, of course, he was, but sitting around and doing nothing was the last thing his traumatized mind wanted or maybe even needed. After doing what he considered to be the biggest fuck-up of his life, he needed to feel important.
This isn’t the first time he’ll say this and it surely won’t be the last: thank Christ for Grandma.
“You want me to take over?...”
“Yep, it’s about time Tracy Industries received a new pair of eyes. The Board certainly thinks so.”
“But… they’d rather have a crazy, PTSD-infected veteran over you?”
A rough pinch to his ear, “Hey now, don’t call yourself that,” the gentle motherly tone was back as soon as it left, “Besides, that crazy might exactly be what they want. Half of their argument is that I “don’t take enough risks.” They’re getting tired of listening to an old fart like me.”
A moment of contemplation, followed by the cheeky raise of an eyebrow, “So you’re saying you want me to take so many risks they have no choice but to take you back?”
A bark of laughter, “Damn straight.”
He learned the ropes faster than normal (healthy, is probably the correct term), and he immediately won the hearts of both young and old in the company. Instead of flying planes every few months, he worked on business reports and vetoed new ideas every couple of weeks. It felt satisfying for the most part, and his family was just happy he was still alive to enjoy it.
However, there was a slight roadblock on his way to becoming a somewhat stable person.
He became prone to violent blackouts. It had to have started when he blacked out and saved himself from those two weeks of hell, which made the most sense. Something was always destroyed when he came back to life. John was the best at calming him down due to his own experience with panic attacks, however, John couldn’t always be there, and the next rotation for NASA was coming swiftly. Scott swore up and down he would be fine, he could figure something out. John went back into space with an eyebrow permanently raised.
It was just him and Virgil home (Grandma had taken Alan and Kayo to watch Gordon swim) when he, unfortunately, proved John right. Scott wasn’t sure what triggered it, but he vividly remembered coming back in Virgil’s extremely tight hold. The first thing Scott thought to say was damn, beanstalk, when did you get so strong? but then he laid his eyes upon the forming bruise on his younger bro’s face and hasn’t recovered since.
Virgil swore he never held it against Scott. Scott definitely thought he should have.
That night brought sudden clarity to Scott that he was doing this horribly wrong. He was a ticking time bomb, and it wouldn’t be long before something was damaged in a way that couldn’t be fixed. Scott needed an anchor. Something to ground him before he took it too far. John wasn’t going to be earthside forever, Grandma was busy with Kayo, Alan was just a kid, and Gordon was living the dream. None of them were viable.
Then, as he was thinking, he was suddenly aware of how calming Virgil’s arms were around him, how they were preventing the growing panic attack in his chest from getting even bigger.
It was easy.
For once in Scott’s life, his eyes were big and young as he asked Virgil, “Help me, please.”
After a few brief seconds, Virgil gulped, “Okay.”
From then on, Virgil was Stone Number One. Scott’s admiration for Virgil outweighed the guilt of putting the black-haired man in that position in the first place. Virgil was glad to follow his older brother’s leadership, but just as qualified to bring him the hell back when he went too far. From getting too sacrificial to preventing a good punching-out some of the idiots they dealt with, Virgil made sure Scott knocked that shit off.
Time went on, Scott was a top-notch CEO at Tracy Industries, John was having one hell of a time up in space, Virgil was graduated and had so many life opportunities to pick from, Alan was thriving at being a (mostly) stable kid, Kayo was 100% acclimated to the family, and Gordon--
Scott found himself gripping the wooden desk very abruptly. He was shocked he didn’t snap a chunk off in the process. Why was he thinking about this right after a giant business conference? Who knows at this point. If this giant origin story seemed jagged and jumpy, maybe even somewhat vague, good, that’s how it fucking felt.
Back to said story.
Scott always thought he and Gordon would have the least amount in common.
They do, but out of all the things they could have picked to be similar, why did it have to be the PTSD caused by military-related jobs? Scott was 24 when he got his, Gordon was just under 20. It may have been a few years since their respective accidents, but they’re never going to go another day without it feeling like it was just yesterday.
At this point, Gordon was up and walking again, mainly thanks to John and Alan while Virgil and Scott helped in their own ways. Grandma’s cooking was what probably motivated him the most though, ha, the need to get away from it… Scott smiled. Grandma was always a constant. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, the family might have fallen apart. Literally.
What has he been saying throughout this whole shindig? Thank Christ for Grandma.
One day out of the blue, Grandma reserved the entire family (yes, even Kayo and Alan) private plane tickets so they could spend some time on the mainland for a few days. Honestly, even if the island wasn’t getting major renovations, you hooligans need to get out more. Have some fun. Try not to kill anything, especially each other, she all told them while creepily grinning. John and Virgil smacked Gordon more than once on the plane for insisting that she finally snapped, dudes, she’s gonna kill us.
Most of the time during their little vacation, Scott heavily focused on his breathing. He was pretty sure he knew what she was doing. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but the same went for his excitement.
Dad showed him these plans the day after his 18th birthday. You’re a man now, Scotty, I need your help making this big boy decision with me.
As soon as they reset foot down on the island, Scott took a deep breath and felt relaxed at the salty taste in the air. It was weird, nothing on the outside was changed, and yet… it still felt different.
“Guys!” Virgil yelled out, “Stop playing in the water! We just got back, aren’t you two tired?!”
Blinking back to reality, Scott looked over to see his two youngest brothers doing exactly what Virgil was yelling at them for. Poor Johnny was a little damp too, which is what probably caused Virgil to shout at them in the first place. The blondes didn’t care. They continued to prance around in the shallow waves with their pants legs rolled up, acting as if they didn’t hear anything outside of their laughter. Gordon shoved his hands down into the liquid and threw some directly at Alan, nailing him right in the face.
Scott exhaled slowly. He couldn’t imagine them doing this 8 years ago.
Regardless, the artist was right, and they couldn’t waste too much time. Kayo was swift in grabbing both gentlemen by the ears and dragging them onto dry land. They all painstakingly trekked their way up to the-- what would you call Tracy Island? Mansion? Over-blown cabin? Well, whatever it was, Scott would always be willing to call it home.
Stepping inside, each brother took in the view, which was underwhelmingly not that much different, except for one tiny thing. John suddenly noticed a figure already standing in the living room and blinked, “No way… it’s--”
Gordon jumped in, both with his body and his words, “Brains?! Dude, how’s it hanging?!”
The scientist in question jumped at the voices before clearing his throat and readjusting his glasses, “O-Oh, hello again, T-Tracys. It’s good to see you all once more.”
Virgil slung an arm around his shoulder, ignoring the blatant squawk, “Man, how long has it been?! What made you finally decide to crawl out of your hole?”
Snickers came from all corners of the house. Brains stood up straighter, “W-Well, I was contacted b-by Mrs. Tracy over here with an offer I c-couldn’t turn down.”
Eyebrows tilted in all shapes and sizes. Someone cleared their throat. Everyone turned to look at Grandma once again, “I think if you all follow me, you’ll swiftly understand what I’m talking about.”
I already do, Scott thought matter-of-factly. John seemed to be understanding it now, Virgil was on the cusp of remembering what his father was hinting at for him, and Gordon was just as lost as Alan. It made sense, Jeff talked to all of them about it, but the oldest had seniority. The two youngest not remembering just by words was expected, especially since that was going to be rectified very quickly.
The hangar under the island was beautiful. Point blank. It smelt of iron and steel and grease and engine and that was the first time since Scott had been in the Air Force that he didn’t gag or flinch at the thought of flying something again. Scott had seen the plans his father drew. He assumed Jeff finished building it, but he never got to physically see it since…
In some ways, he was glad he didn’t. Now he got to experience it with (most of) his family, and that made it ten times better.
After letting them absorb the scenery, Grandma slowly turned around to look at them all, “You remember that dream your father had?”
The four oldest blinked, Kayo simply raised her eyebrows, meanwhile, Alan, being the teenager he was, didn’t read the emotion in the room, “Oh, yeah! Aunt Casey always talked about how he was going to “change the world” and stuff. What did he call it again?”
Scott felt way more confident than he had in a while, “International Rescue.”
Grandma nodded, gleeful at the happy look on her oldest and youngest grandsons’ faces, “Well, I’ve been thinking about some things. I know we don’t exactly worry about money, but after everything your father put into these girls… I’d hate for them to go to waste.”
The Tracy family jumped at that. John’s mouth was wide open in shock, yes, shock, “That station is still up there?”
Grandma sighed, “You mean ‘Five? Not for long. Not if we don’t send someone up there within the next few days.”
John blushed at the grin Grandma gave him. Clearing his throat, his big brain came to a startling conclusion, “Wait… you brought Alan along?”
The other big brothers in the room jumped at that. Kayo was the only one with enough balls to say the truth out loud, “Mrs. Tracy, I mean no offense, but he’s--”
“Just a kid?” Grandma smirked, “A kid that’s topped the VR charts for Intergalactic Fury for weeks straight while simultaneously getting nothing but A’s in his classes?”
Scott nodded slowly in comprehension. He remembered Alan talking about that game for a while. It was some kind of online racing simulator of sorts. Scott caught the prettiest string of words from Alan when going to bed one night. Nearly made him shit his pants. He made the kid promise to keep it PG-13 if he wanted to keep playing.
Still, the elders in the family slowly turned to look at the freckled boy with both shock and pride. Alan blinked with wide-eyed innocence, “But my English class is only at a B--”
“Shh, kiddo, I’m making a point,” Grandma rolled her eyes. The other brothers snickered. Yep, still Alan. Grandma sighed, “Now before you point out that video games are different, I know, but the difference between them and this is that video games don’t have some of the most talented older brothers in the world to guide him.”
Said older brothers jumped at the idea. Before any objection could be made, Grandma continued, “Besides, the GDF seemed to be okay with it. The Colonel was willing to oversee some of his training too.”
John flinched at that, “But IR is supposed to be independent!”
Grandma slightly frowned. She didn’t exactly like it either, “It still is, but in the world of business, compromises have to be made.”
Virgil huffed and crossed his arms, “Well, that’s… rough. Here I thought only Scott would have to deal with the bullshit of business.”
Grandma chuckled at the somewhat un-Virgil-like behavior, “It really is, Virgil. But about that Scott part,” she slowly turned to look at him and him only, “I hate to give you more work to do, but if you want to work within their restrictions?”
Suddenly every pair of eyes in the room was on the head of the family. Gulping, Scott looked down at his feet to think. It was a tense few moments, nobody sure what he was going to decide, least of all him, before the brunette cleared his throat and brought his face back up with a grin.
“Well then,” Scott turned to look at the bright tip of ‘One, chest fluttering with a feeling that became unfamiliar to him over the past few years, “I guess now it’s time to state the obvious.”
From then on, every time he loaded into that cockpit of his girl, he felt lighter than air.
“Thunderbirds are GO!”
Everything was okay again.
Mostly.
Orphan.
Scott took another sip of his whiskey and refocused on his reports.
---
Scott was in some kind of dissociative state the whole way home.
Alan doesn’t deserve this. He’s still a kid, barely an adult, and he’s going to go through utter hell because you screwed up. You were 24, Gordon was just under 20, Alan was barely 18. Alan’s going to get fucked up like you and it’s all your fault.
His movements were robotic and rigid. Anyone with a working eye could tell he was deep in shock and running on autopilot. Mostly Jeff. Especially Jeff. The rest of the brothers all noticed too, but they were also running on their own empty fuel tanks, so the only thing they could do was guilty send their older brother the occasional glance of pity and concern.
Jeff was going to need to talk to them about that. Somehow. Maybe he shouldn’t be the one to point it out since he feels just as bad. His sons were too much like him, sometimes, and that made his guilt burn all the same. He should’ve been there to warn his sons about the dangers of unnecessary guilt. Having that kind of guilt was a parent’s job, dammit, and maybe grandparents only occasionally.
But then he remembered where he’s been for the past 8 years and… who really was Alan’s parents anymore? His gut was screaming it sure as hell isn’t you, but he knew his sons would want him to step back into the role as soon as he was physically fit to do so, not just for Alan, but for themselves as well. They would deny it, but they probably just wanted to be kids again too, even if it was only brief, fleeting moments.
Who was to tell the protective, fatherly side of Jeff no to that? No better time to fix things like the present after all.
He saw Scott go up the stairs when they first stepped into the living room, so that’s where Jeff was going to go too. Footsteps light, Jeff retraced his eldest’s pathway to his bedroom. Only, he stopped before said bedroom. Unfavorable noises were coming from the closed bathroom door, and Jeff could only swallow whatever emotion it made him feel. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the (unlocked) door to the bathroom and laid his eyes upon the incriminating scene.
Jeff was met with the sight of Scott retching his entire stomach into the toilet, hands aggressively grabbing his sticky, hair-gelled hair and trying to make himself bald from the strain.
Jeff’s reaction was always based on autopilot, and it will never stop being so.
Ignoring his protesting body, Jeff kneeled and placed a hand on his son’s back, only to abruptly pull back like he touched a hot stove when Scott only got more hysterical at the contact. The brunette clenched his eyes shut even more (and they were already shut as much as possible) while his head became a special kind of crease. Like he was in pain, “God, I wanna go home. Why won’t they listen I swear I’m telling the truth! Please, I just want Dad--”
Jeff was frozen on the spot, heart stopping in the process. His brain shut down while he watched his son continue to mindlessly ramble and panic. His freaked-out mind barely registered footsteps from behind in the hallway, followed by a voice going what’s going-- holy--
Something thundered past him. Blinking once, Jeff guiltily watched as Virgil kneeled behind the eldest and wrapped his arms around the thin man’s shoulders while taking Scott’s hands in his in a protective blanket, “Scott! Jesus-- we’re at home, you’re safe and it’s June 14th, 2--”
Scott only struggled more, panicking at the fact he could no longer yank his hair out. Dammit, it was the only way he could feel in control, don’t take that away too! “No! I swear I’ve said everything! Please--”
Virgil immediately knew that this was one of those attacks that Scott wasn’t coming back down from with pure human intervention. Add-on the sight of his father’s big eyes signifying the man was at a loss at what to do, Virgil had no choice. He snapped loudly, remembering the comms were still on and only feeling slightly bad at the way Scott flinched in his arms, “Shit-- John! It’s Scott! Get the stuff! We’re in the upstairs bathroom!”
Muffled footsteps through a few walls in the house could be heard. Jeff’s mind was only starting to catch up when the brother Virgil called for came rushing into the bathroom (Jeff never remembered it being big enough to hold four of them) and ignoring Jeff (practically shoving him out of the way too, man, this was bad) on his way to the main problem at hand. Landing on his knees in a way that made Jeff wince, John gently grabbed one of Scott’s arms from Virgil’s hold and subsequently pulled a needle from nowhere and injected something into Scott.
The response was instantaneous.
Scott’s breathing, while still labored, got slower. He stopped struggling as well, and the way he sagged reminded Jeff of ice melting into a puddle. The two other brothers’ shoulders also sagged, relieved at the crisis averted. John stood up, knees cracking as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he froze at the sight of something in the doorway, “G-Gordon…”
Virgil snapped his head up from where he was looking at Scott. Jeff did something similar. Yup, in the doorway was the strawberry blonde, eyes wide, making him younger by about 10 years. The ex-Olympian in question inhaled, closed his eyes, and soon speed-walked his way out of the entrance to the bathroom. Dammit, neither Gordon or Alan have seen something like that and it probably spooked him more than anything. He’d understand with his own PTSD-related issues, but still, seeing the “never weak” big brother freak out in such a scary way...
John combed a hand through his hair, shaking his head. As he started walking out of the room, he whispered to himself, probably hoping no one heard him, “Dammit, this is all so fucked…”
Unfortunately, Jeff did hear, and the dirty language made the father flinch. John was always the best about making sure Grandma didn’t wash his mouth out with soap, and the fact that he so willingly didn’t care meant that everyone was at the end of their rope. Still reeling at the sight, Jeff couldn’t react to the gentle arms that picked him up off the floor and slowly led him out of the suddenly stuffy room.
With the click of the door shutting, Jeff realized what Virgil did, “W-Wait, Scott--”
“Will be okay for a few seconds,” Virgil finished for his dad, “I know it’s nearly been a decade, but the one part of you I definitely know hasn’t changed is the need to comfort us, just like we hoped.” The small grin that fell over the middle child’s face put Jeff a little bit at ease, but Virgil wasn’t completely done, “So, I’m going to let you take care of this, but I just want to make sure you’ll handle it with grace. Take this slowly, okay? Scott might be doped up, but he’s still… volatile, in a sense.”
Jeff cleared his throat, suddenly choking on the unneeded tension, “Okay, Virgil, I promise, just… what happened? That was… bad, and really bad at that too. I know Scott would never let something that severe willingly come out in front of his family.”
Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not ready for this conversation, “Listen, Dad,” he inhaled sharply, cutting himself off before sighing in a way that said fuck it, might as well get this over with, “As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living. We all have lives and stories now, and this is Scott’s story to tell.”
Jeff was getting misty-eyed again. Back when he was just a kid, Virgil couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, mainly in part due to his insomnia-related issues (Jeff has to wonder if he still has them, more problems for the future) and general lack of filter because of sleep-deprivation. Now Jeff knew there was a starch difference between a kid who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and a man who genuinely knew how to respect another man’s privacy, but…
It just hammers home how much he’s missed with his boys. Gulping, Jeff made a mental note to talk with his mom about certain things he’s missed. She’ll know a lot more than he would, “Okay, Virge. Thank you, for stepping up there.”
Virgil’s shoulders relaxed at Jeff’s words, as well as his father’s hand patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks, Dad. Just… go easy on him. I know it’s a little late for this but none of us ever properly talked about things. It was very unhealthy, deep down we all knew that, but…”
“You just couldn’t get the proper emotions out?” Jeff finished for his son. At Virgil’s soft nod, Jeff exhaled, “I’m not going to say that it was a smart decision, but we’re all here now. We can move forward with this.” Jeff squeezed where his hand laid.
Virgil blinked before curtly going, “Yeah. Goodnight, Dad. Take care of Scott.”
Virgil stepped around his father and walked to where his bedroom most definitely was not, but Jeff could deal with that in a little bit. He had another son who he was pretty sure just had a violent PTSD attack of some kind, plus, Virgil seemed to sour at something Jeff said. The ex-astronaut wasn’t sure what it was, so he didn’t chase after him out of worry that--
Wait.
We’re all here now.
Dammit, Jeff. Out of all the sentences you could’ve picked...
Alrighty, just add that to the ever-growing pile of things that need to be talked about later. No biggie. Jeff found himself sighing and rubbing the back of his neck much like Virgil did a few minutes ago. Turning around, he was met with the bathroom door once more. Shaking his head, Jeff slowly crept into the room and saw that not much was different, especially with Scott.
His heart softly cracked, but, again, he can deal with it later.
Sitting down on the ground and grimacing at the way his body ached (was gravity always this rough?), Jeff leaned against the floor cabinets about 2-3 feet away from Scott, who made himself into a nice comfortable ball in the corner next to the toilet, his palm smushed against his forehead. Jeff waited a few seconds. Then minutes. Then he realized he would have to be the one to initiate the conversation. He probably should’ve realized that right when he came back in. He opened his mouth, but his wasn’t the one that words came out of.
“It was… Zambia.”
Jeff’s heart stopped and his mouth snapped shut. He couldn’t stop the way his eyes clearly showed his panic, but hopefully, he guiltily thought, Scott was a little too doped up to not realize it, “Scotty, what do you mean?”
Scott shrugged in a way that spoke he thought what he was admitting wasn’t a big deal. Yep, clearly not with it, “Mission went bad… caught for a couple of weeks.”
Jeff was hoping his first fuck back on Earth, spoken to himself like right now or otherwise, would have been a comedic thing, but the way nausea rose in his throat said this was anything but funny.
Scott wanted to be in the Air Force. Badly. Who was a father to deny his son’s want to be part of such a noble cause? He gave him tips, took him to meet friends in high places, sometimes even sparred with him when he turned 18, but then Jeff was suddenly thousands of miles away with no hope of ever having the chance of sparring with his eldest again. Despite it, Jeff hoped Scott went on to become the best pilot the world has ever seen.
Part of this looks like he did, but at what cost?
As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living.
Aw hell, “Jesus, Scott…” Jeff couldn’t tell if it was the brashness or the lack of a nickname that made Scott flinch and he hated it. He immediately softened his tone and brought his 27-year-old child into his arms, “Shh, shh, we’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out.”
Like father like son, old habits die hard, and as easy as it was to still be able to comfort his children, Scott seemed to just as easily take it as he used to 8 years ago, “Alan doesn’t deserve this kind of hell, God, he’s barely not a kid anymore! Why--”
Jeff tightened his hold to keep his son in reality, and because he didn’t like the tone behind those words, “Hey, you didn’t either--”
Scott somehow managed to fling himself out of the hug, focus incredibly on point for someone who was doped up to his eyelids five seconds ago, “But I fucked up! I made the wrong call and then suddenly Arnold was dead and he had a wife and kids-- shit, what the hell did I do?”
Okay.
First of all: way to put him back in that headspace when that’s the exact opposite you were going for, Jeff, father of the year. Second: dammit. Just… dammit. This was a big fat hand grenade in a giant handbasket that they didn’t have time to gently get out while simultaneously not yanking the pin clean off with the grace of a drunk elephant. Jeff was no stranger to Survivor’s Guilt, but there was a whole untapped pile of metaphorical C4 within his son’s head that was ready for someone to push the goddamn button.
He wanted it to be him, desperately, because it sounded like he already failed his family enough, it was all he could do at this point, but he absolutely hated that he couldn’t do it right now. This was going to take a lot of time, which they didn’t have, plus, Jeff thought he had a pretty good understanding of this new Scott and the rest of his kids. Jeff was aware that if he didn’t help his sons find their baby as fast as possible over everything else it’ll lead to a fate nobody wanted.
A shaky sigh, “Okay, Scotty, let’s get you to bed. We’ll talk strategy in the morning.”
Scott simply nodded as his father flung Scott’s arm around his broader shoulders and picked him up. Slowly and painfully but surely, father and son meandered their way to Scott’s room. With a thump a little harder than Jeff wanted, Scott flopped down on top of his sheets and immediately started snoring. Despite everything that just happened, the father couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Well, there was another thing Jeff gracefully passed onto his son.
Jeff only took Scott’s shoes off. He would’ve loved to pull the sheets up around him too, but the father didn’t want to take any chances at waking him up. Slowly tip-toeing out of the room, Jeff gave one last glance back at his son before finally letting him be and gently shutting the door. He had three other sons he needed to console, but his tired joints told him to selfishly take a moment for himself for right now unless he wanted to collapse and give his family more to deal with.
Jeff eventually made his way to his room-- which was sadly unkempt, he noticed-- and sat down on the edge of his unfamiliar bed to think.
He’ll figure something out. If he had to crawl through images of his son being brutally and bloodily tortured then by God he would with the fury of a thousand suns.
He was back and he wasn’t going to throw away any second or even third chance he was given.
---
“I got him.”
Virgil turned his comms back on, and with it, Scott’s heart restarted for the first time in a few weeks. Taking a moment for a breather, Scott leaned against the wall while practically wheezing. They have him back, holy shit, they have him back. Scott vaguely heard Gordon cry in pure relief and joy. He saw John’s side of the comms flutter for a bit before a bright flash happened. Blinking away the white spots, Scott looked at his wrist to see a fully detailed map of the compound.
Gordon spoke what they were all thinking, “Woohoo! First Allie comes back, then Johnny-boy gets us a free ticket out of here! We’re winning this race, baby!”
A very loud moment of silence. John cleared his throat, “Actually, I was going to say glad to see you in one piece, you little shit,” a playful gasp came from Virgil’s side. It was too high pitched to be from the pianist’s mouth. Scott chuckled, but the paranoid part of his brain said John wasn’t done. His brain was right, ‘“But guys… that wasn’t me. Or EOS. We still haven’t found a way to get past the metal they made these walls out of.”
That silence was even more deafening than the last, and before Virgil could utter out his typical what the fuck, a small logo appeared at the corner of their new map. One that was all too familiar. The Chaos Crew wasn’t the only one who could brand their awful deeds.
Son of a bitch.
Virgil’s order over the radio was meant for Alan, but Scott couldn’t help but listen to it too.
“Shit, Alan, you need to run.”
Making quick work of the compound once more, Scott, while booking it even quicker than last time, opened a private line between him and Gordon, “Hey, how would you feel if I said go help Virgil while I cover Alan?”
The first response was stuttering, which Scott expected, but then it was followed up by something completely out of left field for Gordon, “... Okay, just as long as you promise to bring Alan back in one piece.”
Part of Scott wanted to console Gordon, another was questioning why Gordon was so quick to give up, another wanted to say of course, I will, idiot, but the first part that made itself verbal was easy, “You know I will, buddy.”
Scott could physically picture Gordon’s tiny, little, somber nod clear as day, “Sounds good, captain. See you on the other side.”
With a click, Scott was back on the group comm. Suddenly remembering what exactly his job was, he pulled out the map so graciously given to them by The Hood. Looking at all the dots, one was heading towards a prone one (oh if that asshole did anything to Virgil…) while another one was heading right for Scott himself. Actually, in just a few seconds, right as Scott rounded the corner he would--
“Woah, look out there, Tigger!”
Yes, you heard that correctly: not tiger, Tigger. Tigger hadn’t been used since Alan was itty bitty. It always seemed like the kid had endless energy with the way he wouldn’t stop bounding off the walls and furniture. Even as a baby, Lucy had to sit with him for a few hours while he slept in his crib to make sure he would stay there. In fact, their mother gave Alan that nickname herself. She was quite the Winnie the Pooh fan, and the rest of the family figured it would be one of the ways they could keep her legacy alive for the tiny potato.
Wrapping his arms around said flailing potato, albeit much bigger than a baby, Scott thought he would collapse then and there. Alan was here, in his arms, and yeah, the sight of his dirty and somewhat ripped up IR uniform made him mad, but Scott, for once in his life, decided to focus on the here-and-now, aka his precious, alive little brother, who finally stopped struggling at the realization that hey, the person holding you is a good guy, time to turn off fight mode.
Smushing their foreheads together as much as possible, Scott desperately fought to keep the waterworks back, a smile from ear to ear hopefully taking whatever energy his tear ducts had, “You are getting such an ass beating when we get home, little bro.”
Alan jumped back with a look of What the hell?! What did I do now?!
Scott simply rolled his eyes, “Really? “Not important”? You graduated high school, tiny dude! That’s huge! You remember Gordon’s party, right?”
Alan’s mouth gaped before he closed it with slightly puffy cheeks. Those same cheeks tinged with a small blush. Alan wasn’t exactly expecting to be smothered so soon (well, he did cry his eyes out on Virgil’s shoulder, but that was different!). Shaking it off, Alan moved his hands rhythmically and rapidly, To be fair, we weren’t sure he was going to get one for a while.
Scott faltered a little bit at the ASL. Darn, he should’ve seen Alan’s lack of talking from a mile away. Scott carefully hid his disappointment from Alan. Lord knew what the kid would take it as, “Yeah, that’s what he got for barely making it. Imagine what you’re going to get!”
Scott assumed his semi-fake charm worked, as Alan seemed to play along without any kind of suspicion, Oh yeah. Fair enough.
This kid, man.
Then, slow clapping came from a dark corner, making Scott’s heart leap out of his throat as well as push Alan behind himself. Glaring as much as he could towards the invisible evil-doer, Scott didn’t have to think twice, “Alan, take my map and find Virgil and Gordon.”
The youngest looked like he was going to object.
“Go.”
He no longer did. Good.
Listening to the field commander’s orders, Scott felt his wristband slip off his wrist and a warm body leave his vicinity. An inhale. Also good. An exhale, followed by an even darker glare, “What more do you want?”
Short and straight-to-the-point and angry, two things Scott typically wasn’t. Regardless, like a cold gust of wind, footsteps started approaching him from the shadow. Once Scott saw the outline of a body, he tensed even more. Virgil would snap at him for clenching his jaw so much.
A dark chuckle reminded him of what was important. The voice that spoke reminded him of something completely different, “Now then, brother, let’s not be rude to each other!”
Scott’s pupils shrunk at the familiar sight of Gordon stepping towards him. Except it wasn’t Gordon, because Scott knew that Gordon knew better. He also knew Gordon didn’t cheekily smile like that, even after a prank, nor did he walk that straight. He always had a funny walk after WASP, and Gordon wore that fact like a badge of honor.
Oh no, Scott definitely knew who this was, “What the hell are you playing at?”
Fake-Gordon rolled his eyes, like it wasn’t obvious, “I mean if we want to go that route, why did kid insist you being in the military was the coolest thing he’d ever heard you do? Maybe I wouldn’t have been pressured into joining a branch myself in the end.”
Scott’s nostrils flared, and by God, his pupils might have actually slitted like a snake’s, or possibly even a dragon’s, “Excuse me?”
Scott blinked, and suddenly he was met by not-Virgil, “Plus, why was our conclusion after hearing a three-year-old wanting to see snow to go to a ski resort? It had to have been those big, selfish, beady eyes, right?”
“C’mon, Scotty, we gotta give you some kind of calming exercise. There’s going to come a time when neither me or John are going to be there.”
“Hmm… does yoga work?”
A snort, “Well, that’s not too bad of an idea. Maybe the person pissing you off will stop whatever they’re doing at the sight of you spontaneously doing downward dog.”
Laughter, an unfamiliar action, “Yeah, okay, but for real, those breathing exercises I’ve seen you do look okay. Let’s start there.”
Scott was not a liar by heart. He had to admit that those exercises were doing jack shit right about now.
Another blink, another brother. Familiar ginger hair was all Scott could see, “To continue that previous point, why did Dad start International Rescue again? And what led to his demise?”
“Sounds like a piece of work. Why do you keep dealing with these people again?”
“Someone has to pay the bills, Johnny. Grandma’s too focused on making the perfect poison for us.”
A roll of eyes, “Right, because the billions we have saved wouldn’t be enough to last a couple of families a few lifetimes. Glad to see your calming exercises are working at least. How’s that going for you, by the way?”
A pause. A flicker of vision around the room. Someone cleared their throat, probably himself, “It’s probably not as bad as whatever space is throwing at you. You handling it okay up there?”
Another pause, followed by a sigh, “Well, since you asked so nicely…”
Scott wanted to deflect the truth so badly right now more than anything else. Telling him he couldn’t pilot ‘One anymore would be a much more enticing option than what he was hearing.
Suddenly, Scott was looking in a mirror, “Besides, I know more than anybody that he wasn’t wanted. A mistake. I thought we Tracys hated being imperfect?”
The Hood must have known their backstories from internet articles, and being the mastermind he was, it probably took him all of three seconds to see Alan had some hidden self-worth issues. By playing the biggest Guess Who? game of all time, The Hood was most likely able to figure out some less-than-positive ideals Alan thought about himself throughout his childhood and danced circles around his already weakened mind to string together some spineless blame to put on the kid by sheer evilness alone.
Knowing his kid brother, it worked.
Scott wasn’t thinking straight-- maybe even at all when the first punch was thrown.
Just like that, Scott blacked out and was running on terminator mode. John would be disappointed. Virgil would be horrified. Gordon might find it funny. Alan wasn’t here, and thank God for that. Scott wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. All his mind was telling him was make lots of pain hard and fast. His brain also blocked out any hit The Hood was giving him in return. Pain flared for a few seconds, then it was swept away in the puddle of rage his mind was currently being consumed in.
Soon, his out-of-it mind found its target and gripped his-- The Hood’s arm, no disguise would make him have an identity crisis, thank you very much-- nice and rough.
Scott heard the familiar snap of cartilage and felt only partially bad. If he was thinking more clearly, he would be disgusted with himself. Yes, even The Hood didn’t deserve this level of Scott’s fury. Oh, he definitely deserved to be hit by a truck, but not by Scott. It was mostly due to Scott’s sanity. If he could be this graphic and violent at all, even to the worse possible criminals, that meant he could be that way during other moments, and that was not a territory he wanted to cross into.
Welp, he was here now, and he’ll hate to admit it in the future, but the only thing that brought him out of it was a tiny gasp from a few feet away. Snapping his head up, Scott’s eyes landed squarely on a smaller-than-normal Alan, who was currently clutching his arm to his chest in an emotion Scott didn’t want to figure out at the moment. So much for going and finding Virgil and Gordon.
“Allie, help…” fake him grunted out, only making real Scott growl and tighten his hold (and probably making his case worse). Looking up from the person in his arms, Scott felt his heart split in two at the sight. There was fear and uncertainty in Alan’s blue eyes and boy did it hurt. Scott couldn’t tell if it was because even seeing a potentially-fake Scott being beaten up was bad or if it was because he’d never seen big brother be this brutal, even towards their enemies. Whatever the reason, it involved Scott being the main root of the problem.
Wait, that was The Hood’s plan. Shit… make Scott act past the point of no return in a way that was unfamiliar to Alan so the kid couldn’t be fully sure who was who, and Scott fell right into his trap, hook, line, and sinker.
Fuck.
Bloody well done, Scott, you absolute moron.
Scott faltered a little bit, “A-Alan, I--”
That falter was enough for The Hood to break an arm out of his grip and elbow him in the face. In the brief second of freedom he had, he tried dashing towards Alan, but Scott was too quick for everyone’s good and soon had the imposter back in his arms, both of them struggling in a way that made them look like they were tied into the weirdest knot in existence.
Then, an earthquake struck.
No, literally.
A big shake of the abandoned compound threw the look-a-likes about and subsequently off the platform they were on. The place was old; it didn’t take a lot of weight for that guard rail they made their way over towards while fighting to snap right off. With a yelp, the two of them gripped the edge as much as they could and held on. Crap, I know we talked with Fuse about potentially setting some stuff off, but--
Blinking, Scott saw a familiar mop of blonde hair come into view. Alan was rather panicked, clearly not sure which Scott was the real Scott. Not only that, he had little time to decide which one to save. Goodie, another reason to despise The Hood: not only has he put Alan through weeks of torment, now he’s forcing the kid to decide to either save his oldest brother and biggest hero or his personal torturer.
And Alan won’t know until he picks.
Holy hell, this was getting worse by the second. Hopefully, big brother charm can work its magic and get them the hell out of there.
“Alan, quickly, over here!”
“I can’t hold on for much longer, Alan, hurry!”
The two Scotts glared at one another in the exact same way, not making Alan’s job much easier. Another shake, another slip down the metal cliff, more screams, and Alan looked ready to tear his hair out. Scott watched as the kid looked around rapidly, probably praying for a miracle in the process. Suddenly, the kid jumped when he must have spotted something important. Within the blink of an eye, he was gone and out of their range of visions to retrieve it.
Whatever the hell he noticed better be important, because if just ended up wasting precious time then--
Another shake, probably the last one. Still, it was enough.
Both their grips gave away at the same time, screams identical (God, did he always sound that wimpy?) as they plummeted to their demises. Scott was briefly able to look up to see his brother pop his head over the cliff like a chipmunk again and grab the (albeit broken) arm of The Hood and save him. Dammit, Scott should have expected that, though, that display of anger was uncharacteristic to Alan. Probably terrified him even more than he already was. Fuck, Scott deser--
Suddenly, a rope wrapped itself around Scott’s left arm and stopped his descent. Hard. Hopefully, it was only torn stuff, they didn’t have time to deal with dislocation--
Wait.
Scott wasn’t dead if he could think about these kinds of things.
Blinking, he looked at his arm to see the familiar rope of his grappling hook around his forearm. Moving his eyesight to look past that, he saw the wide, blue eyes of his baby brother struggling to stay on top. The Hood was using his non-broken side to try and climb his way back up to safety. Huh, that’s weird. When did Alan get ahold of that? Scott must have dropped it during his scuffle with--
That’s when it hit Scott.
Alan saved them both.
Alan saved them both.
And it would be all for jack shit if Scott didn’t get his ass up there to help.
Panicking, Scott gripped the rope and started to ascend. He had two working arms and a smother complex to boot; it wasn’t long before he overtook a struggling Hood, who could only use one arm and a weakened brother (that bastard was so lucky Alan had a literal heart of gold).
Flinging his arms over the edge and pulling himself up-- and shrugging off the extra help Alan offered. Save your strength, baby bro-- Scott was in a much calmer search-and-destroy mode. He yanked his evil look-a-like up, turned him on his stomach, pinned him down, and before he could even watch Alan blink, “Sign something.”
There, now he watched Alan blink.
Scott pulled out one of his best ‘big brother’ smiles ever, “Tell me something in ASL. I don’t think The Hood learned that kind of etiquette.”
The body beneath him growled, making Alan jump and Scott tighten not only his hold but his glare. Further prove big brother’s point, why don’t cha? He lost the angry look immediately to grin at Alan once more, who seemed to be slowly getting the picture. With a gulp, the blonde slowly strung together a sentence that Scott had to laugh at, just a little bit.
Damn, could you teach me to fight like that, Scooter?
Nodding his head, Scott had to concede, “Sure. Consider it a graduation present.”
Alan blinked again, and the immense relief that washed over the boy’s shoulders would be enough to banish nightmares for at least a couple of days. Suddenly, The Hood’s disguise blinked out of existence, making both brothers jump that time. Scott didn’t falter in his grip, however. This man was going down right here and now, Scott thought darkly, staring at the prone body beneath his.
Scott saw Alan continue to sign out of the corner of his eye, You know you look like shit, right?
Scott chuckled. Alan was always able to put a smile on his face no matter the circumstances, “Yeah, well, kindred spirits, little bro.”
Scott was probably as pale as Alan was with such lack of sleep and food. Running on what was essentially a prolonged PTSD attack wasn’t healthy in the slightest, and no doubt whatever kind of bruises and scratches The Hood gave him didn’t help, however, seeing hope fill those deep-blue eyes when Alan learned he was truly being saved drowned everything out, including the way those freckles were getting lost in those eye bags.
Yeah, their entire family probably looked like shit, and the recovery process was going to be even shittier, but they were going to suffer through it together as a family would.
That made it all worth it.
Shuffling himself so one arm was free while the other kept The Hood pinned, Scott held it out towards Alan. The flinch the youngest made tore a hole in Scott’s heart that was only slightly patched when Alan leaned into the warmth and safety of his biggest bro. Long recovery process, remember? Regardless, Alan still took to the hug like a dehydrated zebra did a pond, and that was good enough for Scott.
The Hood groaned underneath them.
Yep, good enough.
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Catradora soulmate au
"I'll keep your little secret from Lord Hordak" the shadowy figure echoed, "Only because I do care about you adora, and dont forget what I can do if you tell anyone. It is a privilege that you have, not a right" it seemed as if the shadow smirked, sending chills down the young girl's spine, the eerie presence eventually left, leaving Adora sat on her bunk, holding back the tears as she had been taught to do, she felt a weight drop onto the bed behind her,
"Hey adora.." the small voice behind her caused her to turn, she could never get used to how vibrant Catra's eyes are. All bright and sparkling, and her hair, so dark compared to her own she grabbed on tight to her, and waited until she could speak, Catra wrapped her little tail around Adora's leg. Breathlessly, Adora whispered "Catra, I was so scared, I thought she was gonna kill me"
"Dont worry you're fine, shadow weaver loves you" Catra answered, remembering all the times she had been punished by the same woman, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you"
Adora sat up and laughed, wetly. Grabbing Catra's hand "I can take it. We'll get through this, together! We'll be the best in the hoard now, that's probably why we aren't allowed to tell anyone"
"Yeah, they dont want us to have an advantage, why don't they let everyone see like this?"
"I don't know Catra, but you heard Shadow weaver, we better not talk about it any more"
"Yeah... ok. Are you ok to go back out?"
"Yeah, race you!"
"No fair!"
Since being 6 years old, Adora had seen in colour, a gift none of her other teammates shared, it put her ahead in combat training, but she still worked so hard to attain the ranks and positions she did, after one almost devastating training session, she narrowly beat Catra, who came in at the last second, to win. Dusting herself off, she tried not to linger on Catra's eyes as she walked over to their commander for a brief and progress update, basically a summary of what they had done wrong, Adora got full marks though, so when shadow weaver asked for her, she left and wouldn't miss anything. Not that she had a choice to follow the woman, but better her than Catra getting this talk. So she sighed inwardly before asking what shadow weaver wanted now.
"CATRA! CATRA COME HERE!" the excitement in Adora's voice roused the other girl from her nap so she kicked down the air vent and dropped behind her friend with a shout, "Hey adora!", causing the other girl to jump in fright "That never gets old, so what are you yelling about?"
"Look!" Adora said, pointing to her chest, a bright yellow badge was displayed there with the two great wings of the hoard displayed on it
"Oh wow, congrats, you're officially a force captain, huh? and active dudy, damn, give Brightmoon hell for me"
"Yeah the orientation is tomorrow night, I was assigned last minute, so I'm gonna study up"
"Boring! Don't you wanna do something fun?"
"Fun like stealing a skiff? Our little trek can always be classed as recon, come on, it'll be fun!"
"LETS BLOW SOMETHING UP!... Wait, aren't you concerned about shadow weaver?"
"Didnt you see her this afternoon? she was all weak, her hair was barely floating"
That was normally a sign she wouldn't be around for a few days, locked in with the giant red rock, now would be the best time if they were going to go anywhere, Catra leaped off her perch on the top bunk and walked towards the door, turning back to hold out her hand, Adora smiled, she couldn't resist those eyes, they both wanted an adventure. She grabbed her hand and ran down the stairs.
..........................
She awoke in a cold sweat, Catra barely moved at her feet, that decided it, she needed to go back, into the woods, she needed answers, the sword seemed to pull her towards it and now it haunts her dreams, no thanks. Quietly getting up and pulling on her jacket adora headed out. Concentrating on getting another skiff, she hadn't noticed Catra coming up behind her, "what are you doing?"
Grabbing her and shoving her into the wall as the drone security bot passed Adora quietened the other girl, "shhh.... look Catra, I know I saw something out there, it feels important, I know it"
"Sounds good, let's go!"
"No, you should stay here, shadow weaver will be waking back up soon, and who knows what she'd do to you, please just trust me, I'll be back before anyone knows I'm gone" and with that she ran around the corner, down the stairs
"I would know you've gone"
..........................
It was a lonesome journey, watching out for patrols and then abandoning the skiff just inside the woods, choosing to trek through the underbrush as it is quieter, colour seemed to make no difference in here everything was dark, dark green, dark blue, dark grey, not to mention she had no idea how to find this sword, this was going to be a long night. She sighed and continued crawling, looking out for ethereal blue lights or anything in the woods that might try to kill her, read: everything
Talking to herself, she saw said blue light creeped into the clearing. 'The sword! Wait, what is that? Voices? Getting closer, they clearly dont care about being spotted, maybe guards patrol these woods, damn, I'll just have to grab the sword and run!'
As they spotted her, the smaller one yelled "HOARD SOLDIER!" and they both started war cries, Adora sprinted to the sword and could almost touch it, before a puff of sparkles appeared and the small one with it glaring at her. Adora reached for the sword before the young girl teleported a few feet away, clutching it tightly.
'A princess, right, can I take a princess? Yeah, in training. She can teleport so binding won't work, just need the sword, I dont want to have to hurt her'
She threw the sword to her companion, he dropped his bow to catch it, she could try to take him on, especially unarmed, he ran with it and the princess spawned on top of her back, she shook her off violently, throwing a bola at his legs and sprinting for the sword again
"Stand down, I don't want to hurt you"
"Since when do hoard soldiers not want to hurt anyone?" The princess yelled, now in front of her, throwing a sort of smoke bomb of glitter.
They wrestled for the sword, but just as Adora touched it, a bright flash of light hit and Adora was dragged into her dream, "My name is Lighthope"...
...................
She awoke bound by ropes, the princess staring her in the face, yelling "Hoard spy! How did you get so far into the whispering woods?"
"I... walked in? And I'm not a spy. Who are you?"
"I ask the questions. The whispering woods are rebellion territory, you were lucky to make it as far as you did"
She dragged her comrade off and not-so-subtly whispered about bringing her to Brightmoon, an excellent chance for reconisance, if she survives. That's a big if. They would probably take her for interrogation, she could handle that, after all, it's only a little bit.... of a lot of pain. Well Shadow weaver was no push over, though she could be quite lenient sometimes, oh what would Catra do? She knew how to talk to people
They got up and walked, supposedly back to Brightmoon, though with the way her two captors, bow and glimmer apparently, argued, they may not be going the right way. The boy, bow, tried to make small talk, a big mistake, Adora couldn't stop herself from almost shouting, "You know she's a princess right? Princesses are a dangerous threat to all of Etheria! How can you follow her? It's weird, her hair is literally pink and sparkly, that's not normal"
"Wow, thats what they teach in the hoa- Wait, you can see in colour? You can see the pink?"
"What do you mean that's what they teach?"
"Woah, woah, wait up. You can see in colour?"
"Yes, why?"
"Hoard soldiers have soulmates... GLIMMER! GLIMMER, LISTEN TO THIS!"
"What are soulmates, what are you on about?"
The princess popped over, looking annoyed, "Bow this better be important or so help me"-
"This hoard soldier can see in colour!"
"What?!?"
"I know! This means that myths were true!"
"Nope, no way, they cannot be like us, not with the things they do"
With that Glimmer stormed off, a few seconds later they heard her gasp and Bow dragged her over.
Tents were destroyed, rubble lay strewn, there were no people to be found. A dead bot was abandoned to the side. It had hoard markings, the great wings. Emblazoned red like the blood on the floor. "This is all the hoard ever does, they can't just do this, they just kill and steal and ruin our land"
That's what the hoard does? What about helping and improving the lives of those part of it? Was this a secret rebel base? Is that it? There's no technology to suggest so, but that would mean... no she cant think it. A heavy silence weighed in the group as Glimmer dried her tears, before storming off ahead. Only to quickly return running through the brush, "There's something out there!"...
...............
Everywhere is so beautiful, all the town, the people, the animals, so much joy in one place, from the darkness of the whispering woods to this place of bright colour, it would be a shame to miss this, it's nothing compared to the darkness of the fright zone.
When the hoard attacked this innocent town, Adora was thrown into the chaos, dragging that damn sword with her. It was chaos, bloody chaos, hoard soldiers left and right, blasts and shocks rocking the earth. She stood before the cannons as She-ra, etheral and eternal, glowing as she struck down the weapons, out of control in an ordered way. However upon seeing those eyes though, peering through the smoke, those vibrant, unforgettable eyes, her hands shook and her resolve crumbled. She returned to her original form as soldiers closed in, Catra ran and bowled her over, "Adora? I'm so glad you're safe! Shadow weaver's throwing a fit", smiling as she said it, holding Adora tightly, "Yeah, it'd be funny if she weren't such a horrible person" the last bit fell flat and a shudder ran through them both, "Adora, please, come home"
Adora just looked at her shocked that she could consider it with the devastation around them, "Catra.. I can't, I need to understand myself and I cannot stand what the hoard is doing, dont you see? These are innocent people!"
"That never mattered before, come on Adora"
"I didnt know before! Call me stupid, call me naive, but I wanted to believe what they told us, so I did, but now, its different, we're different, Catra. All these beside you cannot see the blue sky, or the grass or even those that they hurt, I didn't for a long time, I really hurt you, and I know that I can't apologise enough, I'm so sorry. Truely. But I won't go back, they have answers and I need them. I'm going to Brightmoon, for myself, are you coming with me?" Adora offered her hand out to the girl sat opposite with an honest smile, a small circle of hoard soldiers had gathered. It was now or never.
"Please Catra, I need you by my side again"
"...Ok, let's do this!" Catra sprung to her feet, ignoring Adora's offered hand and drew out two weapons, handing one off to Adora, "I think you'll understand this a little better than that oversized beast" Catra said before throwing herself tooth and claw into the fray, Adora followed shortly after. When Adora met up with Bow and Glimmer the hoard threat was eliminated, the two joined arms as Adora explained what had happened, they distrusted Catra, but agreed to give her the answers that she desired.
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recentanimenews · 3 years
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86 – 08 – We Weren’t Ready
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A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.—Kay, Men In Black
The Alba are right: the Eighty Six aren’t human. They’re better than that. The humans who populate the serene Republic of San Magnolia blindly accept the government’s policy of ethnic cleansing as the cost of peace, order, and harmony. Lena, like the Eighty Six, knows there’s a wrong, but isn’t prepared to do more wrong to right it.
It’s why when Lena discovers the orders basically sentencing what’s left of Spearhead to their almost certain deaths, she wants to rescind them. Annette pulls her out of the records room for some tea and biscuits, but when Lena once again says it’s wrong not to try to do anything, all of the simmering resentment within Annette finally comes to a caustic boil.
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Annette isn’t merely “pretending” to be a bad person; she’s fully embraced the role, heart and soul. She doesn’t need an excuse to do nothing; her inaction has already caused the death of her former neighbor and friend (who it’s pretty clear from the suspenders was none other than Nouzen Shinei) while her research is built upon the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of Eighty Six.
Like the vast majority of people would in such a situation, Annette chose not to fight a force that could not be beaten, but to join them. Even though her father committed suicide after the suffering he caused developing the Para-Raid, Annette carried on his work. She might’ve scared herself when she first called her friend a “filthy colored” like her classmates did, but that fear soon dissipated into acceptance.
After everything she’s been through and done in the name of not being able to do anything else, Annette doesn’t want to hear one more idealistic word out of Lena’s mouth. After all, the Para-Raid that enables Lena to speak to Shin and the other members of Spearhead was the product of involuntary human experimentation and state-sanctioned suffering. So is her comfy bed, her crisp uniform, her tasty coffee and sweets. It’s all tainted by evil.
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Annette tells Lena she hates her and never wants to see her again. I mean, we already new full well Annette wouldn’t join any potential crusade against injustice Lena might concoct, but this really twists the knife, as Lena doesn’t even have a pretend friend in the capital in which to confide.
When she confronts her uncle before the statue of San Magnolia, he tells her the orders sending Spearhead to their deaths cant be recinded because it is the will of the republic that evry Eighty Six not only die, but be forgotten and erased from having ever existed. The only way San Magnolia will avoid becoming a pariah state after the war is if the atrocities they committed against the Eighty Six never come to light.
When Lena begs her uncle to remember the spirit of Saint Magnolia, he tells her their republic was never anything other than a country full of fools and villains who executed Magnolia for their wealth and greed. She says that’s just his despair talking, but he doesn’t consider his despair any different from her hope.
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If Lena werent already having one of the worst days of her life, Shin also bids her farewell, fully accepting his suicide mission. Lena deduces he’s going after his brother, but Shin doens’t want her to hear his last words. Instead, he warns her that once the Shepherd is destroyed, the Legion is temporarily thrown into chaos, .
He urges her to head for the Eastern border, where she won’t hear the Legion’s voices and go mad. He and the others will buy her some time. With that, he signs off, for what seems like the last time. Now all Lena has is her tears.
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With Lena left very much at rock bottom, we return to Spearhead, now only five strong: Kurena, Anju, Theo, Raiden, and Shin. They clean up their barracks, polish up their Juggernauts, have a final meal, and then set off on their deep recon mission with their heads held high.
As we’ve learned, they’re not just doing this because the alternative is summary execution. They’re doing it for their fallen comrades, and because just because they were always called pigs doesn’t mean they’ll become them. There’s a biting sense of inescapable dread and crushing unfairness to their scenes. More than anything, they feel like five kids who shouldn’t have to be anywhere near a battlefield.
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Post-credits, we get one more taste of despair in the absence of anything else, in the form of the complete flashback of Shourei choking Shinei. He had been barely keeping it together before that point, crushed by his powerlessness to do anything about the loss of his parents. In a moment of weakness, he let himself blame Shinei for everything, and nearly killing him until someone pulls them apart.
A roboticized, Legionized Shourei narrates this final scene, lamenting that he couldn’t protect Shinei before. But this time, as Shin and his four companions approach him and his Legion unit, Shourei says he’ll protect his brother forever. All he has to do is come to him, which is what he’s doing.
All I can say to any of this is damn…this is some good shit, but it is also incredibly heavy and upsetting. I can only hope that we’ll get some glimmer of light at some point before the end…but that’s hardly a sure thing.
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By: braverade
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destiny-islanders · 6 years
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You (Comrades Protag) + The Chocobros | Part I - Gladio
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Part II - Prompto | 
I’ve been meaning to write up headcanon ideas for the Comrades player character’s interaction with the boys, but I didn’t start getting around to it until last night. Here are my ideas for meeting Gladio since he’s the only one my character has met so far. I’ll probably do the other boys if you guys like this one and I have ideas. :>
[Because I want your characters to do more with Gladio than kick his ass so hard that he leaves the town in shame and you steal a really nice sword from him (?!?!?!?!?!)]
Holly asks you to help take care of some daemons that had slipped into the power plant. You make the mistake of trying out a new broadsword that you haven’t had a chance to practice with that much yet. Don’t get me wrong—you still kick ass! But daemons’ asses aren’t the only ones getting kicked; yours takes a pretty nasty beating, too. But you get the job done. Plus you find this claw by the elevator that’s as long as your forearm, and you know that Cid will be able to use to make you The Most OP of All Time™. Like easily you will become the Coolest and the Strongest member of your party. So slap a “VICTORY” label on this mission and ship it on out.
You’re walking back to the marketplace when you hear someone grunting and gasping for air somewhere far off to your right. You understandably think that a daemon may have strayed from the power plant and is attacking someone who needs your help. You take off in the direction the voice seems to be coming from.
Turns out there aren’t any daemons around. It’s just some beefy dude swinging his sword around all by himself. You guess he must be training—perfecting his swings, practicing new techniques with a broadsword that looks like it’s almost as long as you are tall. As impressive as this guy  is, you can tell he’s running himself ragged and looks completely exhausted.
You: “How about a break? You look ready to fall over.”
He practically jumps out of his skin. He was so caught up in what he was doing that he didn’t notice you there. Whoops. You realize as he turns to look at you that you know this man. Well, you know of him. Enough of your memory has returned to help you recognize that face. That’s Gladiolus Amicitia, one of Prince Noctis’s royal retainers. Not many people in Lestallum have very nice things to say about him.
The extent of your former interactions with Gladio: You were at Galdin Quay on a hunt and saw him and the retinue pull the biggest fucking fish you’d ever seen out of the water. The boys had been kind enough to haul the fish to the restaurant on the pier so that all of the patrons could share it with them. You didn’t even like fish that much, but holy hell. The Devil of the Cygillan was one of the tastiest things you’d eaten in your life. Probably the tastiest thing you’ll ever eat in your life, since the world is falling apart now. As a former Glaive, you’d considered approaching Prince Noctis to offer him your protection, but when you heard him introduce himself as “Noct Gar” to a massage therapist near the bar, you decided against it, lest you foil his attempts to keep a low profile.
You don’t know much else about Gladio, but you know that he was one of Prince Noctis’s sworn guardians. With Prince Noctis missing, what is Gladio doing? Why is he pushing himself so hard? Is it to grow stronger so that he might be able to help his missing oath-sworn liege (presuming that he’s still alive somewhere)? Or is it to punish himself for not being strong enough to keep Prince Noctis safe in the first place?
Gladio: “I’m fine.”
If watching this man work himself to the point of exhaustion wasn’t indication enough that something was wrong, the low, gravelly tone of his voice sure is. But you don’t know this guy very well. No, scratch that. You don’t know this guy at all. So you don’t pry, even though you’re really curious and have approximately two-hundred and eighty-nine (289) questions—with “WHERE THE HELL IS PRINCE NOCTIS?????” sitting undisputed at the top of the fucking list.
Maybe you can chat him up long enough to at least give him time to catch his breath. You decide to try and strike up a casual conversation. About. Uh. About…
You: “That’s a really big sword.”
“THAT’S A REALLY BIG SWORD”????
YOU GOOBER????
Gladio: “Yep.”
The small talk ball is in your court and you’re off at the concession stand buying overpriced French fries. C’mon, Kingsglaive who hasn’t even had a chance to get someone to jailbreak their phone yet, GET A BIT MORE CREATIVE WITH THOSE DIALOGUE CHOICES.
You: “You come here often? To train, I mean.”
Okay. That’s a little better. As far as conversations go, you’re still driving on the shoulder, but the car is parallel to the road and you’re at least driving in the right direction.
Gladio: “Yeah. It’s quiet over here. Usually, no one bothers me.”
RUDE.
You: “You call that quiet? I could hear you moaning from all the way over by the power plant.”
WHAT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS HIM OFF?????
HE IS SO BIG
HE COULD KILL YOU WITH HIS PINKIE FINGER PROBABLY
Gladio just laughs, though. And as surprised as you are to see that (he seemed so surly a second ago???), you relax just a little bit.
Gladio: “Fair enough. I recognize that symbol. Kingsglaive, huh?”
(I like the idea that even if our characters wear different outfits, they wear some article of clothing or accessory that bears the Kingsglaive sigil. Like an armband or a jacket or a pendant.)
You: “Yeah.”
Gladio: “Were you there for the…? No. Never mind. No need to dig that shit up now. History just keeps repeating itself, anyway. Kings fall. Princes fall. And their failed protectors are left behind to try and pick up the fucking pieces.”
You:
Gladio:
Gladio: *Shuffles back into a crouch to resume training* “Well… back to it, I guess.”
You: “Wait.” You summon your new broadsword. “Let’s go a round. You and me.”
Gladio:
You: “Unless you like punching air...?”
Gladio:
Gladio: “Weren’t you the one just telling me to take a break?”
D’oh! Yes, you were. But you don’t like the thought of leaving this guy alone when he’s clearly in such a dark place...
Gladio: “Fine. You’re on. One round.”
HE BEATS YOUR FUCKING ASS.
Okay like. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a complete massacre, but. Like. The fight doesn’t last very long, either. Gladio manages to smack you with that stupid-big sword and sends you flying into a pile of musty crates, knocking you unconscious on impact.
You wake up as Gladio’s carrying you somewhere. You’re. Like. Super delirious because you probably have a concussion. So you can’t really control your muddled thoughts or stop them from slipping out of your mouth.
You: “Did I die? Did you kill me?”
Gladio:
You: “Am I dead? Are you hiding my body somewhere?”
Gladio:
You: “Hide my phone along with my body, okay? I couldn’t unlock it. I don’t know what kind of embarrassing shit I might have on there. Just. Hide it. It’s my dying wish.”
Gladio:
Turns out he was carrying you to the infirmary. Iris sees Gladio carrying you into the tent beside her clothing shop and she is PISSED!
Iris: “GLADIOLUS [REDACTED MIDDLE NAME] AMICITIA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FAVORITE CUSTOMER????!!!” D:<
Gladio: “I didn’t… *Sigh* Fuck. They sparred with me. It happens. They’re fine.”
Gladio kind of just dumps you onto a cot and excuses himself to fetch a medic while Iris fusses over you, apologizing for her idiot big brother. She promises he’s really nice most of the time, honest.
...You’ll have to take her word for it.
The doctor comes into the tent and tends to your injuries, but Gladio’s nowhere to be seen. This makes Iris even angrier and she promises she’ll find him and beat some sense into him… but you tell her not to. It’s fine.
Later that night, you get a text from a number you don’t recognize.
Unknown Number: “Hey its gladio. Know u cant unlock ur phone but hopefully you see this on the lock screen. Meet by the plant in 5 min if u want.”
You go.
The Cup Noodles he has waiting for you have nothing on the amazing food that Monica, Cid, and even Cindy have been nice enough to make for you at camp after hunts. The ramen is lukewarm and the carrots are unpleasant, flavorless surprise lumps that you chew up along with the noodles. But with the calm and quiet of Gladio’s company, and with the stars shining brighter than you’ve ever seen them without man-made light to push away their glow, it’s one of the best meals you’ve had since you woke up in the back of that truck with Libertus, ears ringing as he insisted that you continue to fight in a war you don’t really remember signing up for in the first place.
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izloveshorses · 7 years
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Here's everything I love about the Anastasia Musical (Part One)
So!! I've finally collected my thoughts and was able to list out everything I love about this musical (this was supposed to be limited to like 5 songs but I couldn't pick just a handful bc they're ALL SO GOOD). Keep in mind, I haven't seen it live yet, just listened to the album and watched that First Look preview hundreds of times. Pleeease don't mention any spoilers or anything bc I really wanna go see it for myself some day! Warning: long post lol
The first few notes of Prologue: Once Upon a December gave me chills omg
I love how they really touched on just how much Communism affected everybody. Life was pretty crappy for everyone and it's important that it's discussed. Like, the exchange between Anya and Gleb ("I can't lose this job...") really highlights to me that they were all hungry, desperate for work, etc. and it not many people had any hopes for a better future...
"The skies are grey, the walls have ears and he who argues disappears!"
"We're good and loyal comrades and our favorite color's red!"
"Two cans of beans, comrade?" "... doNE"
The collective "SHHH!!"
DONT!! GET ME STARTED!! ON IN MY DREAMS!!!
Christy's voiCE I CANT
When I was first listening to this I was like "ohhh boy... I'm already crying on the 3rd song.... this is gonna be an emotional ride"
"Call the child anYA"
"Is it Pariiiiis? Paris..."
"And I HEAR A VOICE WHISPER 'I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT THERE' IN PARIIIIIIIS. Paris..."
"You don't know what it's like not to know who you are"
"But I still have this faith in the truth of my dreammmms"
"AND MYYY DREEAMS. SEEEEM TO SAAAAY. DONT BE AFRAID TO GO ON. DONT GIVE UP HOPE COME WHAT MAYYYYY"
"I know it all will come baaaaack ONE DAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"
Anya/Christyyyyy you're breaking my heart stop it just started
Honestly the whole song is beautiful
All of Learn to Do It is great too bc wow that's a mood changer from the last song lol
"How do you become the person you've forgotten you ever were?"
"Am I floating?" "Like a sinking boat"
"I never cared for stroganoff!"
"I don't like being contradicted." "That makes two of us!"
"I've hAD it!! And I hATE YOU BOTH!"... "Don't forGET I don't remember anything! Get OUT and let me be!"
She takes a big breath before she lists everything she learned lol
Ramin's so talented what the heck
"I heard the shots.... I heard the screams... but it's the silence after I remember most."
"A revolution is a siiiimple thiiiiiiiiiing" my guy, my dude, my man,, no.... that is false,,,
DEREK'S VOICE!!!!! MY PETERSBURG IS ICONIC
"Funny when a city is all you know, how even when you hate it something in you loves it sooooo!!"
"There's a boy, growing up, all I've been, all I'll be..."
"Funny how a BOY CAN GROOOOWWWW! Funny how a city tells you when it's time to goooo!"
"But tonight, there's a sky and quite a viewww... welcome tooooooooooo..... My PetersBUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!"
I know that Once Upon a December is exactly the same as the movie but Christy's voice is so gorgeous so I need to talk about it
"Accross my meeemoryyyyyyyy...."
THE ENSEMBLE!!!! HOLY CRAP!! THEIR HARMONIZING IS SO HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL IT LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE GHOSTS DANCING WOW IT GIVES ME CHILLS
The piano rising in a crescendo
"FAARRRR AWAY! LOOONG AGOOOO! GLOWING DIM AS AN EMBER!"
Christy's voice at the end my lord
The whole orchestra in this song is amazing
OKAY SO. STAY, I PRAY YOU. IS VERY UNDERRATED. LIKE. WHEN I FIRST LISTENED TO IT I WAS JUST SITTING ON MY COUCH WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS AND WAS LIKE "why.... am I crying... about crossing the russian border.... when I'm not even Russian.... what the heck...."
And!!! It emphasizes the fact that this is communist Russia. You don't leave!!
Constantine's voice here is so haunting and The strings are lovelyyyyyy
This is like that one song from Sound of Music when they cross the mountains lol
THE ENSEMBLE AGAIN....
Christy's and Derek's harmonizing is b e a u t i f u l
"How to go wheRE IIIIII HAve never gone befoooorrre..."
"Let me have a moment, let me say goodbyyyyyye...."
My absolute favorite part is how it slowly fades from the entire cast singing and repeating "iiiii'lll bless my homeland...." to just the trio, to dmitry and Anya, and finally until it's just Anya left.... "iiii'lll bless my homeland... tillllll I diiiiieeee..." It's so chillingly beautiful I'm never gonna get used to that
We'll Go From There is so pure and happy!
"Some women say I look distinguished this way"
"Meet the royal. Mess!"
"Why did I say? yes?"
Again, Derek and Christy's harmonizing is amazing how--
"Getagripandtakeadeepbreath and soon we'll know what's what"
"Oh what a lovely ride! And what a lovely dayyyyy! For a totally illegal geeeeetawayyyyy!"
"From theeeeeEEeeeeeeEEeeeeerrreeeee! We'll go from there!!" Bum
Ramin is baaaack with more angst and beautiful vocals in Still!
"A son becomes a man! At his faaaaather's knee..."
"--to FULLFIIIIILLLLLLLLL"
"But then you see her eyes, and something in them tells you that she ABSOLUTELY LIES"
I KNOW THEY DIDNT CHANGE ANYTHING FROM JOURNEY TO THE PAST BUT IT MUST BE DISCUSSED
It's so empowering I'm PUMPED like every time I hear it I have to get up and run around like I'm the one performing or making a music video
"Peo.ple always say, Life is full of choices, but no one ever mentions. fear..."
"Home. Love. Faaaamily. There was once a time I must have had them tooooo... Hoooooome, loooooove, faaaamily! I will never be complete until I find youuuuuu!" (Brb crying)
THE ENTIRE LAST STANZA. EXCUSE ME WHILE I KEEP SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.
Christy's voice in "THINGS MY HEART STILL NEEDS TO KNOOOOOW!"
"YES!!! LET THIS BE A SIIIIIGN!! LET THIS ROOOAD BE MINE!! LET IT LEEEAD ME TO MY PAAAAAAAAAAAST!!! AAAND BRING ME HOOOOME!! aaaaAAAAAT LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!"
AKFKFINGSG SF,F SHES SO TALENTED THAT LAST NOTE OMG
I'm always out of breath when this song is over lol
Paris Holds the Key always pumps me up omg
"Everything is is avant-garde, or chic!"
Dmitry's part tho...
"There's hope in the aaaair!"
The one and only thing I'm kinda bummed about is that they didn't include that one part from the original where everyone is singing in the final chorus and then it's just dmitry singing "toooo... Herrrr...." and then the ensemble finishes it off. Idk it's so heartbreaking but that's probably my favorite part from the original song and I'm kinda sad they cut that bit (but it's ok bc DEREK)
Crossing A Bridge is VERY underrated too omg
The orchestral part is beautiful and again CHRISTY'S VOICE
"Halfway between where I've been, and where I'm goiiing..."
"Me on the left bank, you on the riiiight!" And then Her voice at "every light is like a promise.."
I love how the middle it's kinda loud and emotional but it ends really soft and quiet
Watching Christy's "Royal Misfits" vlog made me love Mary Beth Peil bc she kinda reminds me of my Nanna, so Close the Door broke my heart a little
I love the mood of Land of Yesterday bc they're complaining that they're no longer rich lol and Lily's like "well we're not dead now!" And my favorite: "RUSSIAAAAAA!!!"
IN A CROWD!!! OF THOUSANDS!!!! I SOB EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT. The chemistry btwn Christy and Derek is magical (I mean I haven't seen them but) I can hear them smiling and their harmonizing is just... good lord. And the tension is so real
"You're making me feel I was there too." "Maybe you were, make it part of your story"
I love that you can hear the shift in Christy's voice from playful and humorous to a dawning, frightening realization ("and I tried not to smile, but I smiiiiled... and then... heeeee bowwwwed...!!!!!" "Um, I didn't tell you that" "You didn't have to!! I remember!!!!" And then a heavy pause)
"With the sun in my eyes you were gone... but I knew, even then, in a crowd of thousands... I'll find you... aaaagaaaaain....." AIGFHGKVNID THEY FOUND EACH OTHER EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY
"Your highness..." !???!???? WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING TO MY HEART
Meant to Be is beautiful (especially the orchestra) but I'm gonna skip to QUARTET AT THE BALLET. BC HONESTLY ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. The striiiings....
"My past and my future so neeeeear..." and then Dmitry breaking my heart again with "next to me this frightened girl, holding tight as the dancers whirl"
The whole part where Dmitry and Gleb are singing together omgggg "ITS FATE!! THAT BROUGHT US HEEEEERE"
And don't! Get me started on the part where they're all singing together it's so intENSE it's honestly one of my favorite parts from the whole musical. And!! DMITRY'S PART OMG HE REPRISES JOURNEY TO THE PAST "hooome, looove, faaaamily.... she will have all of it!! I will help her..." AKFJOND HE KEEPS BREAKING MY HEART HE LOVES HER SO MUCH #OTP
"Find a wayyyyy.... ANASAAAAAAASIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Again Dmitry just loves her... Everything to Win messes with my heart. "I didn't know, she mattered to meee... but now I can see, she doooeees..." (and later Anya says the same thing omg what kind of romantic crap is this, "conman and princess get their wish and fairytales come truuuue!" *clenches fist*) and "with everything to win, the only thing I lose... is youuuuuu..." :(
I love how Gleb interrupts Anya's pining for dramaaaaaaa. "If you really are Anastasia do you think history wants you to have lived??" "YES, why don't you!?"
"All but one. Finish it, I am my father's daughter." "AND I AM MY FATHER'S SON!" ( I can actually hear Anya standing with her chin held high staring at him straight in the eyes, a challenge, a dare) and a gun clicks and omg my heart started racing
"Look at their faces in mine, hear their screams, see their BLOOD." ... "Do it! Do it and I will be with my parents and my brothers and sisters in that cellar in Yekaterinburg all over again!!" GOOD LORD ITS SO INTENSE
"WE HAVE A PAST TO BURYYY AAAANYAAAAAAAA!!!!"... "A reVOLUTION IS A SIMPLE THING!!"
The ending is absolutely perfect... "she was a dream. A beautiful dream." And then "the case is closed. But still...." and the ENSEMBLE COMES BACK. They didn't have to go so hard, man
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ourwingsofwarriors · 7 years
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Just for a Moment
Attack on Titan Fan Fiction
Characters: Hanji Zoe, Levi Ackermann, Erwin Smith OC Genre: Romance, Action, Fantasy Pairing: LeviHan, Eruhan Rated: M for MMMMM Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, I am just using their names. First fanfiction so do go easy on me
Chapter one
Chapter Two
When I awoke I didn’t recognise where I was, looking around the place was spotless, not a single hint of mess, I fumbled around for my glasses, but they were placed on the desk, I grabbed them quickly and the room became clear, then I noticed something.... Not something.... someone. “Levi...” I mumbled, stretching my back toward towards my leg. “what am I doing in here?” I waited for an answer, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he got up, walked towards the desk and picked up the uniform, neatly folded. He placed them on the bed and walked away “get dressed” He hissed “tch. Four eyes” I looked at him confused as he walked away quickly, leaving the room, what was I doing in his room. Although my body felt relaxed, it had been a long time since I had felt like this, but why? I didn’t know what had happened after I opened the door last night.  I decided to get over it and get dressed. 
Erwin was heading towards the mess hall as I was walking that way too, I didn’t say anything, I felt slightly awkward after yesterday... did he really meant what he said? I continued walking, thinking about what I had just experienced. For one, I was sleeping in Levi’s room, the last thing I remember was Levi... the puzzle would seem easy but it wasn’t. I wondered about what would be the answer to this, I sighed, knowing Levi probably wouldn’t even tell me what I was doing in his bed, he would just ‘tch...’ and walk away.
“Hanji, who are you talking to...” Erwin stopped in his tracks and turned around. “and what are you talking about?”  I froze, my cheeks felt like they were burning all of a sudden  “er... er nothing” I waved my hands in the air “Theories... titans... walls..” “What was that about Levi?”  “Oh.... I er....” “We are heading out in three days Hanji, I need you to stay focused” 
Erwin started to walk a long side me, I felt awkward, why was he suddenly so interested in me “I’m sorry.... about you know” “What?” “Yesterday... at the mess hall...” I looked down “I didn’t mean to offend you” “Hanji...”  “You know I didn’t get insulted... I know you just care” He looked at me as we walked “You have always cared....” His voice grew weak “Like I care.... about you”  I froze, What was happening today? Already? Am I being tested? I looked up at Erwin, other recruits walked past talking, joking around but for me, I felt like my body had turned to jelly. Erwin Smith... cared?
“Tch” Levis voice could be heard from the doorway. “Hey shitty glasses, you look.. refreshed, did you have a bath?” I turned to look at him, my eyebrows raised, what on earth.... “You....” I stepped forward “YOU!” I went to grab him but he moved swiftly out of the way.  “Hanji, you left me no choice” “What are you two on about” Erwin butted in as I chased Levi around slightly trying to grab at him and give him a piece of my mind. “Levi! Hanji!” We both stopped, Erwins voice was cold and stern.  “I bathed her, I knocked her out, and washed her” Levi said calmly, I wanted to scream. Levi. Bathed me. He... he  “You bastard!” I screamed, I smacked him on the shoulder and he patted down where I had hit him to make sure it didn’t leave a crease in his shirt.  “She stunk” Levi sighed “You understand Erwin”  “Levi, You should never...” Erwin started to talk  “You saw me naked!”  “You saw her... what!” Erwin looked like he was about to blow. Levi stood there, smug as ever.  “I think I need to sit down...” I sighed and I stormed off, I could hear the boys snapping at each other as I left.
During training, Eren was trying his hardest to finally harden himself. Training was coming through. Finally. Levi was standing around waiting for something to happen, Mikasa, close by making sure that no one would harm Eren.  “I believe it’s finally happened” Armin rejoiced “now we can seal Wall Maria and finally... we are back to the beginning”  “I believe so..” I smiled “Eren however must rest, if he continues to work this hard it will destroy him, maybe even make his regeneration slower...”  “Do you believe in such things?” Armin looked at me, then looked back at Eren  “Come to think about it, I don’t know what I think, does his regeneration skills get lower with time, or the amount he uses it or something more...” My brain started to tick “we must look into this for the benefit of Eren, we can’t loose him”  “He is like your favourite toy” Levi sighed from behind me, I ignored his comment “Just like you playing nurse for Erwin”  My blood boiled slightly, but I continued to ignore him.  “I had an idea” I smiled, “I believe you would also be in agreement with me” | “and what would that be?” “A mechanism, for killing titans...”  “oh here we go...” Levi sighed. 
My mind was in another world though... After Erwin today, and Levi bathing me? Was I dreaming? Had I died?  Levi angered me, I could easily bath myself if I wanted to. But then I thought about how relaxed I was, at that moment when I woke up... I thought about Levi, bathing me, his body pressed against mine... and something about that made me numb. My body was numb due to the thought of it. I wanted to forget about it but in my mind, my thoughts ran wild... of Levi. 
In the evening, I laid on my bed, hugging myself, wondering what on earth was going on with my life. I skipped dinner, I didn’t want to see Levi or Erwin.
 There was a knock at my door, thinking it was Moblit I called him in. However... it was Levi.  “Four eyes, you look pathetic” He muttered “tch”  “You....” I didn’t have anything to say to him really. I was just... I felt so lost.  “I did you a favour, it wasn’t like I enjoyed it”  “You what”  “Hanji, look you don’t shower, I do it all the time, you just started to wake before I could get you back in your room, so I just laid you in my bed, not like I use it anyway”  “Levi... I am furious” I said sitting up “We are friends yet you... you”  “it was for you own benefit”  He moved over and sat down next to me. “Hanji, you do not look after yourself, you spend all day in that lab, researching, doing your work and you never really look after yourself, not once”  “what has got into you that you care so much about what I do and how I do it”  “Because I can’t bare to loose anyone else!” He suddenly snapped. “I just cant!”  “Levi...” I felt ashamed, I never realised how many comrades Levi had lost, how many friends we watched die, who we couldn’t save... “Isabel, Furlan, Pedra even Oluo” He sighed “sorry... I just” “Levi look... we have lost our friends, family... comrades but we can’t live in the past, they fought for our freedom, for another day..” “but did they!” he looked down at the floor “did they really?! If they had died for this stupid cause then maybe the titans would of been killed out! But no! Now we think about how the titans were human?! How is that even...”  I put my hand on his shoulder  “Let it out” I calmly responded. “it’s okay”  “You, you can’t leave me” He said “You can’t” He grabbed my hand. “Shitty glasses... I mean Hanji..” He looked into my eyes  “Levi...” “Don’t... don’t ever die on me” 
His hands cupped my face, my heart pounding. I closed my eyes, a tear slowly travelling down my cheek. What was Levi trying to say..... 
Part Three
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steves-on-a-plane · 7 years
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Bar Fights and Best Friends
Words:1489 Bucky Barnes X Reader Summary: Reader is a bar tender who just cant seem to catch a break. One night after an all out brawl breaks out where she works, she finds herself trapped behind the counter with one of the patrons. A Patron with a metal arm who claims to know the Avengers.  [Image not relevant, I just really liked it.]
“This is so not my day!” You huffed as a beer bottle whizzed past your head. You should have gone home four hours ago, but the night bartender had called out for their shift. Being the Good Samaritan that you were, you offered to stay. Apparently, the universe decided that the best reward for your small act of kindness would be an all-out brawl at the bar. Cowering behind the counter you tried desperately to remember what your boss had said the procedure for this was.
“You’re telling me!” A voice groaned from your left. You looked over to see a man sitting a couple feet your left. His chin was lined with stubble. His hair was grown out long, just reaching his shoulders. The brim of a baseball hat covered most of his face but you got the impression that you had nothing to fear from this man.
“Long day for you too, then?” You scooted over towards him. Both so that you could avoid another flying beverage and so that you could hear each other better.
“Long life.” He chuckled bitterly. He poked his head up over the brim of the counter only to immediately pull himself back down. “Well that’s not stopping any time soon.” He sighed. “I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Bucky.”
“Nice to meet you Bucky. I’m [Y/n].” You grasped his hand and gave it a shake. You were surprised by how smooth and cold his hand was. You looked down. It was metal!
“Like I said, long life.” He repeated uncomfortably.
“Believe me. I get it.” You smirked. “Any chance that arm of yours is bullet proof?”
“Actually,” Bucky smirked back. “It is. But no one’s got any guns out there.”
“Yet. They’ll only be happy fighting over booze for so long. Eventually they’ll try and hop over this counter…”
“It’s okay.” Bucky put a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll get out of here. I have some friends I can call.” He took out his cellphone and dialed. “Steve? Listen I’m trapped at Billy’s Bar in midtown. A brawl broke out and…no, I’m hiding behind the counter with the bartender. I’d rather not have to crack any skulls if…thank you.” He hung up the phone. “My friends are on their way.”
“Well unless your friends are the Avengers…”
“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” He tilted his head to the side. He was studying you the same way you used to looked at your math homework. Intrigue with an overwhelming feeling of befuddlement.
“I’m guessing that means I should know who you are?” You started through his curtain of hair and tried to place the face that was looking back at you. Maybe it was the baseball cap that was still obstructing most of it, but you couldn’t tell who this man was.
“I mean how many other people are there in the world with a vibranium arm?” He mumbled. “Bet if I was Tony Stark though…” You were about to apologize to your accidental comrade, when a hush wavered through the bar. You stuck your head up over the wooden countertop reminding yourself of the prairie dogs you’d seen on TV. What your eyes met was a sight you had not expected. Captain America and one of the B-list Avengers…Falcon, was it? (You were pretty sure that’s what the guy in the flight suit went by.) Were standing on the doorway of the bar, both with their arms crossed. You ducked back under the bar to gape at Bucky.
“You weren’t kidding! You’re really friends with the Avengers!” You exclaimed before taking another peek over the bar.
“We can do this one of two ways.” Captain America was telling the patrons seriously. It was like something from a movie as one by one men and women throughout the place were paying off their tabs and exiting through the very same door Captain America was playing bouncer too.
“You can come out now, Princess!” Falcon called out, walking in your direction.
“Excuse me?” You huffed, immediately putting your hands on your hips. Sure, this guy was an Avenger but he wasn’t even a well-known one. You didn’t allow the customers to talk to you that way, so there was no way you were going to let any Avenger.
“He’s talking to me.” Bucky explained, now clambering to his feet. “Very funny, Sam. Ha ha.” He added sarcastically.
“I’m just saying for a guy who supposedly killed quite a few people in their day, it sure does feel like we end up saving your ass an awful lot.” Falcon shrugged.
“You’re pushing your luck, Wilson.” Bucky growled in warning.  By this point the bar had emptied out except for Captain America, Falcon, Bucky and yourself. Captain America secured the door behind himself and then walked over to the bar where everyone else was still standing.
“Gentlemen, don’t you thing we’re being rude?” The captain asked. “Buck, perhaps you could introduce…”
“[Y/N], these are the friends I was telling you about. The one with the muscles is Captain America, and that’s his pet bird.” He nodded at Captain America and Falcon respectively.
“It’s Sam.” Falcon explained. “Nice to meet you, [Y/N].” He smiled for the first time.
“You can just call me, Steve.” Captain America explained. “What exactly happened here?”
“That’s what I’d like to know.” You huffed. “One minute I was purring like a hundred tequila shots for this dude’s bachelor party and next thing I know there’s a all-out brawl. I tried to clear the place out, but no one ever listens to the bartender. Especially if it’s a woman.” You sighed. “Thanks for the help. I’ll give you my bosses contact info so you can send him the bill or whatever, then I’ll get this place cleaned up.”
“There’s no charge for our services.” Steve explained. “We offer protection to people who need it. It would be much of a service if we expected payment for it.”
“I suppose.” You agreed. You lifted the hinged section of countertop so that yourself and Bucky could step out from behind it and into the main part of the room. “Thanks again for the help. I don’t mean to be rude but I really do have to start cleaning up if I want to get out of here before four AM.” You heaved another sigh as you looked around the bar. The place looked like your sister’s apartment after her last sorority party. It was practically trashed. Oh yes, today was definitely not your day.
“Well we could stay and help, couldn’t we?” Bucky suggested.
“Oh, no.” You shook your head. “That’s really nice of you but I’m sure you have a cat to rescue from a tree or another bar maid in distress to save.” But the Avengers wouldn’t take no for an answer. They insisted on sticking around and helping you clean up the disaster area, which was basically the entire bar.
With their help, it only took about an hour to gather and wash what had survived of the glasses, the remnants of liquor and beer bottles, take out the trash, sweep of the floor, wipe the tables and counter, and get everything looking as it had before you agreed to work a sixteen-hour shift. When it was finally time to go must have looked a little worse for wear than you thought because Bucky insisted on walking you home.  
“This late at night, you really shouldn’t be walking home alone.” If you weren’t so tired, you probably would have tried to argue with him. You were more than capable of handling yourself, you grew up on the streets of New York! But that night, you were so tired you decided having an escort probably wasn’t a bad idea after all. Sam and Steve both gave you’re their personal cellphone numbers and instructed you to feel free to call if you ever ran into trouble. You promised to do just that before exchanging polite goodbyes and adding a final thank you for good measure.
“So, Steve said you guys were in the war together, but he didn’t say which. Was it Iraq or…?” You let your sentence trail off, internally scolding yourself. Of all the ways to start a conversation, [Y/N]!
“No.” Bucky smirked. “World War II.”
“Oh…” Now you felt like a complete idiot. Sure, someone had found Captain America in the ice in the 2000, but the only war he’d ever actually fought was World War II. You tried to think back on what you’d learned in History Class. What was that group they’d said he fought with? The Howling Commandos. Now you remembered. His childhood best friend was a part of the Commandos too. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky!
“You’re that Bucky Barnes? Best friends with Captain America, Bucky Barnes? Of course you are.” You shook your head.
“Don’t hold it against me.” He chuckled.
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dajoezenone · 7 years
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REVIEW of The Devil Is A Part Timer! Vol 5 (novel)
I feel like I just posted my review of Vol 4 but I flew through this one I couldn’t put it down. Its hands down my favorite of all five volumes so far. Let me tell you why it is so good.
First off, its funny. The writing in this book makes fun of so much stuff. From cell phones to the death of TV in favor of the internet, to Pokemon, to anything else. The series always satirizes the life of the average Japanese person, but for whatever reason, this book does it in a way thats funnier than I think its ever done before, and its always relevant to the story and mixed in with humor making fun of the characters as well. Its perfect.
Second, I think this might be the most balanced book in terms of which characters get represented the most. Granted, the character that does get the MOST coverage is my favorite character, so of course I’d say that, but nobody feels extraneous or left out in this book. Other than Emeralda and Albert, of course. Eme shows up in a single conversation as always to drop some exposition and then never shows up again.
ANYWAYS though, without getting spoiler heavy (yet), there’s a lot more plot in this novel than usual. This book really gets back to the way the first book had a threat slowly creeping up throughout the duration of the story, not just for five minutes at the end. The climax is really long too. These books are always split into thirds, but the third act of this book seriously takes up about half of the pages. And those pages are filled too. There’s like 3 different twists and reveals that happen, plus multiple epic fight scenes. Its GRAND.
Overall, the writing is better. Smarter. More emotional. The illustrations are better. The epilogue is followed by bonus goodies again. Read it.
Okay SPOILER ALERT BEYOND THIS POINT.
The story picks up roughly where the last book left off, with the Devil and his cohorts moving back into Villa Rosa Sasazuka apartment 201.They discover that in addition to fixing the gaping hole Gabriel left in the wall back in Book 3, their landlord had an HDTV hookup installed. So now they can get TV channels. If they had a TV of course. Maou convinces Ashiya that they have room in the budget, and Suzuno decides to go with them and get one of their own. Ashiya invites Rika Suzuki, as he had previously asked her for help in the task of purchasing himself a cell phone (and to give her a souvenir he got her in Choshi during the previous book). 
As the book progresses, they slowly discover a plot by Gabriel (returning after his unsuccessful attempt to take Alas Ramus and the Better Half from our heroes in book 3) and a less powerful, but higher ranking Angel whos name I cant remember for the life of me, to find the rogue Angel Lailah (Emi’s mother, also implied to be the angel who inadvertently started Maou on his quest, as well as gifted him with the Yesod fragment that eventually grew into Alas Ramus) so they can punish her for crimes against Heaven. In the process, they end up hurting Chiho, which of course provokes the ire of the Devil, the Hero, and their underpaid comrades in arms. 
The first half of the book focuses a LOT on Alciel, which as I said in my last review, was something greatly needed, expected, and totally as good as I hoped it would be. He doesn’t exactly get much of a character arc, as he largely just goes from being totally unwilling to buy a TV, to getting one for as cheap as possible. But he gets development in other ways. In Vol 3, he seemed largely oblivious to Rika’s clear attraction to him, and his interactions with her seemed to largely just be because of his overly-polite personality. But, as their totally-not-a-date goes on, his politeness is revealed to have a bit of mutual feeling behind it, and he even tells her he may sometime tell her the truth about him and the others, something she doesn’t really question, as she never totally believed the story given to her anyways. Sadly, once the danger raises its head, she’s rushed out of harm’s way, and Ashiya stays largely quiet from that point on. 
Maou, as always, is in the forefront, but at the same time kept mysterious. He mentions early on that a TV could be helpful in knowing what is going on in the world, and being able to predict and fight any Heavenly (or Demonic) things that come to threaten the Earth. And after the threat is resolved, mentions that its not like they’ll try the same thing again, so the TV is less useful now than it was. So, did he know they’d try to use the TVs in some way? Probably not, but its not beyond reason. As always, then, he treads the line between being a silly character, and being the most serious, as he can flippantly ask Rika if she likes Ashiya to her face, and can very earnestly out-debate Suzuno (who, reminder, is the closest thing Ente Isla has to a lawyer) when the two discuss whether or not Rika ought to be made aware of who and what they all really are. 
She isn’t, by the way. I suppose we must wait for another book for that. 
Emi and Suzuno, seemingly unaware that their fates were bound in with that of the Devil King a long long time ago, have learned, through Emeralda, that Ente Isla is now engulfed in a Civil War, which was seemingly instigated by Heaven, Olba, and the Demons that seek the Better Half at his suggestion. They decide that, at all costs, Maou must not be allowed to join in this war, as he would likely reuite the Demons, and crush the un-unified countries of Ente Isla, particularly because Emi is unable to join, as siding with any part of humanity over another wouldn’t be proper as the Hero. Hence, Suzuno continues her surveilance of the demons, now with the renewed purpose of making sure no Demons come with the intention of pulling their King into their war. Emi, assured that Eme and Suzuno are capable of the tasks before them, goes looking for her mother, unaware of the two Angels out doing the same thing...
Emi’s story is an emotional one, as it often is. Everything she knows is slowly crumbling around her, and as her mother is unable (or unwilling) to reveal herself and speak to her directly, and the other main characters all either preoccupied or still enemies in her mind, she is left only with Alas Ramus by her side to help her to understand what she must do and where she must go. I dont want to spoil specifics of Emi’s story in this book, but its very good. I didn’t cry as much as she did, maybe, but I at least teared up a bit. 
Crestia Bell, meanwhile, has a lot more time in the limelight after last book forcing her to make sandcastles and do little else. She has slowly grown to be one of my favorite characters in the series. She’s far more multilayered than anyone else, with her background so steeped in religion and politics, combined with a fascination with Japanese culture, particularly the old pre-WW2 stuff, from when Japan was still traditional and religious itself. Plus, she really likes Udon for reasons nobody really understands. She’s funny, quirky, serious, and strong. And she gets a lot of time to show off all sides of herself in this book, and she manages to be awesome at every aspect of it, all with the calm serenity of a person of her religious station. There’s a reason she’s on the cover of this book. Heck, she’s more of the book’s standout character than Ashiya, I just was more happy about him getting focus so thats who I talked about more at first. 
Hanzo Urushihara, after a surprising amount of character development in the previous novel, returns to heaven on earth (the inside of apartment 201 of Villa Rosa Sasazuka) with great enthusiasm. He too wants a TV, but obviously he isn’t going to go outside the apartment to get it, nor is he at all going to be helping pay for it, so he doesn’t help Maou convince Ashiya of its usefulness as that would not help the case. He instead stays home through much of the book. Gabriel stops by about halfway through, and they have a great interaction, where we get an inside look on exactly how Urushihara thinks, and how he justifies his existence to himself. While he seems unaware of it, he really has evolved as a character; He does a lot to help during the climax, and at one point expresses great pride in the work he was able to do at the Beach House in Choshi. Overall, he’s written much better now than he was prior to book 4 as well, as he still feels like a fusion or extension of the disparate parts of himself that seemed kinda incongruous in the first books. In fact, he’s more bad*ss now, humming “Amazing Grace” as he shoos one of the series’ primary villains out of his personal space, than he did menacingly levitating Chiho above Hatagaya in the first book. 
I guess I should also talk about Gabriel, because he comes back, and he’s better now than he was. A nice effort is made to make him and the other Angel distinct characters, rather than Gabe feeling like a tamer, but more powerful version of Sariel like he did when he first showed up. He’s still not as good as Olba, or even Lucifer were as villains, but he’s still cool, and the threats he’s a part of feel really legitimate this time around, which is a really nice change of pace from both the previous books. 
Finally, Chiho. At first, I was kind of dissappointed that her injury was basically keeping her from actually helping with the plot at all, despite being its whole inciting incident. 
Without spoiling it, lets just say that uh, dont count Chiho out because she has a bigger role here than, like ever. I mean, she’s been damsel in distress, she’s inspired the others, and convinced Gabriel to delay his attack in Book 3. In this book, she basically saves the day. 
How does it make any sense when she’s just a normal girl? Um read the book ya dummy. 
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