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klmp11s · 2 months

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diasomnia boys with a male dormmate how can't sleep, Diasomnia members notice how he is usually seen taking long evening walks, cooking something in the kitchen or reading a book in the lounge at times when everyone is normally asleep, and when they question him he responds that his dreams were stolen by a fae when he he was small which took away his ability to have dreams and sleep, he usually takes a potion to rest his body and after that he goes out to enjoy the night before classes

God, this has been processing in my head for a couple of days because I really liked this request (English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes)

Summary: twst boys with a reader who can't sleep, and how they find out the reason Characters: Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Sebek Zigvolt, Silver Warning: male!reader, lack of sleep(?), reader is a member of the Diasomnia dormitory

Malleus Draconia

He definitely saw you more often than others and could even at some point think that you were similar to him

He might also have gone out with you a couple of times after you became friends with him.

But don't people need to sleep? He remembers that you were always the last person to go to bed.

You could also walk him to his room in the evening, but after that you also went to bed, right?

Actually, I think he could see you making a few potion flasks, but he definitely thought it was a study assignment or something.

One day when you were walking around your dorm, you also met Malleus. This is not bad and now you walked for a while and listened to stories about gargoyles.

When the topic came up about you and why you weren’t going to bed now, you started telling him a story from your childhood. Okay, he's surprised and he wants to know who this fairy was. Now he understands why you needed the potions, okay.

He MIGHT consider asking you to try his unique magic on you, but if you refuse, he would calmly accept that answer.

“I’ve already had enough of fairies interfering in my dreams” - he takes your joke SERIOUSLY and he’s trying to say that he offered his help out of no malice (( He doesn’t want you to think badly of him, at the same moment you explain that it was nothing more than a joke, to which he looks into your eyes for a couple of seconds and slowly breaks into a smile.

Now he is ready to spend almost all night time with you, if you have not drunk the potion, I think he could even tell you about his childhood. Still, you did it first, right?

Lilia Vanrouge

You remind him of Malleus

He even suggested that you take Malleus with you on night walks 😭

I think he could sit with you sometimes and talk about everyday things.

And he definitely saw potions in your room, what are they for? When you say that you absolutely cannot see dreams and sleep, because your dreams were stolen a long time ago, he did not expect this, okay

I think he could ask you if you remember anything from that moment, but then he falls silent and listens further. Okay, the potions give your body a little rest, that's good

Now he could definitely sit with you at night more often and even tell the Diasomnia group about you

He might even wonder if he'd ever known a fae who could do such a thing.

He could joke that you are the complete opposite of his son and it doesn’t matter whether you are alone with him or not

Sebek Zigvolt

Human, you think you can parody the great Malleus, huh?

He would definitely say that you are throwing off your sleep schedule and harming your health. You can't be strong if your health is a complete mess, you know?

He would sit with you until a certain moment when he needs to go to bed. You should too, okay? He would also meet you in the living room early in the morning a couple of times, and the first thing he would do would be to ask if you had slept at all.

He could also ask you one evening why you are ruining your health like this and when you started telling him, he literally: 🧍😦

He thought that you were just acting strange, and did not expect such a story at all. Good, he didn't jump to conclusions anymore.

When you also told him about the potions and why you need them, he suggested asking Lilia and Malleus if they might know something similar

When you said that you had gotten used to it over time, he could understand, but he was still surprised. Not sleeping at all is truly a nightmare

Now he behaves much calmer if he sees you early in the morning/very late at night and he could listen to your stories from childhood or tell a couple of his own before going to bed

Silver

I think he's heard about how long you stay up, but he's only seen it a couple of times.

He could definitely almost immediately ask you how you manage to stay awake for so long. Afterwards, when you started telling you the reason why you weren’t sleeping, he apologized because he didn’t know that this was such a personal(?) topic.

Now he understands why you spend so much time just doing everyday things, he could also ask you about the potions you drink. What effect do they have and stuff like that?

He could even joke that he needed a potion with completely the opposite effect

He may have also mentioned this in a conversation with his group from Diasomnia

He sleeps 22/7 and you don't sleep 22/7, soulmates?

He could sit with you at night if he woke up at that moment, but most likely he would just fall asleep next to you. He'll sleep for you two

If you tell some story from childhood, he really tried to stay awake to listen to you, but most likely he just fell asleep on you

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners, please do not edit, translate, repost my works on other platforms, also without my permission and @

#twst x reader #twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #malleus draconia x male reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x male reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #sebek zigvolt x male reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #silver x male reader #silver x reader

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harrowharks-iliac-crest · 1 month

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The River

Worldbuilding/Lore

<< Previous: Lyctorhood | Masterpost

So, okay, bear with me here. I think these people's brains are fundamentally different from ours. And I think their brains are spiritual matter, contained in a brain-shape and perhaps even anatomically so. There was talk of a temporal lobe, after all.

Mind you, memories don't just get stored in one place in the brain. The hippocampus is crucial for formation of memories and storing them short-term - for a few months, maybe. After that, I was told in my studies we don't quite know where they go - likely stored in different parts all over the brain, connected to associations.

One thing I do know, however, is that you can't physically see which parts of the brain relate to which memory. Knowing this from necromantic ability should be a skill even Mercymorn would struggle with. Harrow, a bone magician, knows she is not the best flesh magician, so she enlists Ianthe's help for her lobotomy. Ianthe, allegedly the best necromancer in her generation, is actually able to do an alright job, except for one part where Harrow does some herself. Have they found ways to look at memories through the brain? By all current available science, I would rate that fairly impossible. Either science has progressed wildly in this (possible, given the whole ass myriad and then some), or these brains are not the same.

I actually think brains in this are made from much the same matter that The River is. The River is clearly not of Alecto or John's invention. It was discovered somehow, and when they resurrected everyone, they basically found the revenants for the bodies, and just stuck them back in, literally; pockets - or bubbles - of River, containing the revenant exactly, replacing the goopy mess of dead brain in the body.

Now your brains are goopy messes of river, made to look like what you expect the brain to look like. Your perceptions, expectations and rules are important in the River - it makes sense that River/Revenant-brains would still be brain-shaped. It means the brain is more fluid than that, though; in the Lyctor's cases, one soul - one brain - "takes over".

(Doesn't really explain why Lyctors like God, Augustine and Mercymorn consistently have their cavalier's eyes - other than maybe it was just that that's what they were expecting.)

Ok, so I kinda think brains are parts of The River. Coherent as revenants, living in bodies. This would have been the case for the first people who were resurrected a myriad ago - so when they create babies, the baby's brain is also River water, for want of a better term? Therefore everyone's is? And Death, in this post-resurrection world, is just returning to the River proper?

It's a working theory.

The River is a physical place, and also kind of like sub-space. You can enter it, you can form pockets of meaning in there, you can hunt things in there and make wards. You can use it to travel quickly to destinations many lightyears away. It is a physical place, but also a spiritual one. It is, essentially, the brain matter of billions, jumbled together, increasing in entropy with depth, all the way down to the stoma, where you can enter full entropy and be reduced to particles, as I understand.

Did you know that some scientists use entropy to describe brain processes? Entropy increases in the brain as it responds to stimuli. The concept of entropy is necessary for explaining what goes on in the brain, an organ of trillions+ of possible configurations, changing moment by moment. And what happens physically in the brain is perceived by us through a range of associations and thoughts and feelings, which all look and feel very different to the electric charges zipping along nerve axons and synapses releasing chemicals to trigger a reaction in the next nerve along. Which is (a gross oversimplification of) what actually physically happens inside our brains, millionfold, every millisecond.

Hey wait a second though. The Central Nervous System also includes the spinal cord. Is this included in the RiverBrain package deal? What about peripheral nerves? Right, I'm gonna stop this here, it's already one hell of a rabbit hole.

So if I'm right, then brains are made of River, and River is made of Brains. Sub-space, physically traversible brains. If planets, if stars have a soul, the whole Universe has a soul. The River could a manifestation of the Universe's soul, its collective Brain, and it encompasses all once (and future?) living things. It's not in our plane of existence, but can be accessed physically and mentally.

The River might be the source of necromantic ability, and I think either John or Alecto figured out how to access it. I Just Don't Think You're Supposed To.

Ok, let's get into Characters next. Blorboposting incoming.

>> Next: Gideon Nav

#tlt liveblog #the locked tomb liveblog #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb #tlt #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #no nona the ninth spoilers please #tlt theories

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autisticlee · 1 year

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I know I need to "just do things by myself" like literally everyone tells me, but I really wish I had someone I can always ask to go places with me even if it's just to one store for one quick thing.

I barely have the ability to function enough to take care of myself daily. leaving the house for any reason is basically impossible most days. I don't have the energy and ability to drive, find the thing I need at a store, interact with people, and do the checkout dance, then drive home, all while acting "normal" (or appropriate/presentably human enough) in public with the added bonus of sensory overload. for most people, going to the store is one single task. that's all it is. for me, it's hundreds of simultaneously occurring steps I need to remember to do and maintain the entire time....

it's so hard to explain this to people. no one gets it. but i need someone else to do the human-ing for me and I just follow along. they drive, answer or ask questions and let focus be on them, lead me to the thing I need, let me copy them so I dont stand out with my weirdness...so many times i'll go to a store to get a few things alone. the sensory cacophony of everything hitting me at once makes me forget what I'm looking for, tunnel vision on the offending sensory input and can't see where i'm going, can't find things even if they're in the same place they've always been, i've run into people and things, knocking stuff over, because my body disconnects from my brain and it's hard to control. if people talk to me, I can't process their words or respond. I can't ask questions if I need to. i'll wander lost for way longer than I want to be there.

this whole time, i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably obvious because idk how to act "normal" or as expected when alone. so many times I come home without one or more of the things I needed from a store even if I had a list in hand.

I completely space out and dissociate way more often than i would like. not even stores when i need to go in and out quickly, but anywhere. if I try going to a thing that's supposed to be fun, like say a festival or aquarium or anything else, and I go alone because I don't have a friend to go with, I spend the whole time in a sensory overloaded, dissociative state, while being required to perform "normal human" rituals and masking. then get home, realizing I didn't enjoy it or retain much of it because my brain was overworking and i got exhausted as soon as i got there. i didnt get to relax and enjoy any of it because it was so much work and my brain shut down while there to try protecting itself. it's a whole brain exercise that exhausts me beyond belief. this whole time. i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably actually very obvious because idk how to act "normal" when alone and don't have someone to copy and follow.

if I have someone familiar with me, especially someone comfortable who i dont have to lead or entertain, I can ground myself better and focus more on them. I follow and copy them so I dont have the try as hard to be a human and think about doing human things. it's easier to copy someone doing the things than to try to think of the hundred steps you probably forgot and perform them alone. they always answer people so fast before I even processed half the words that were said to me.

it always surprises me when people do that. they'll answer a question before I even processed it was a question! I always need someone to be there for me to answer for me because i'm too slow, they get impatient, and/or I answer incorrectly, if i'm able to speak at all being semi-speaking. at least half the time if I do get words out, they don't hear me or mishear me. for example, just yesterday, I made my mom go to a new sushi restaurant with me. the waiter apparently asked if I was ready to pay, my mom was gesturing to me ans asking if im ready or something and the waiter was looking at me, but my brain couldn't make any of it out at all. I was staring between them like ???????? and gave up and just shook my head no. my brain was trying to figure it out and process anything at all, but i got incredibly confused and completely froze up. my mom answered "not yet" and they left. I was like, what was that about ? She said "they wanted you to pay now. you're ready to go right? now we have to wait again." I didn't get any of that, and if I was alone, that would have been even worse because I wasn't able to figure out anything or even say words. I need someone with me at all times to cover my perpetually lost and confused ass lmao

but it's also a struggle when the other person is like this too, puts too much attention on me, or expects me to lead us both. it causes the same effects as if i'm alone, plus the added bonus of needing to entertain and/or advocate/answer for and lead THEM, when I can't even do it for myself! I had a friend like that and it was annoying and immediately exhausting every time we hung out.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. i'm sure at least one person's gets it, though, right? how it's hard to consciously and appropriately act human in public when alone, but copying or hiding behind another person makes it easier than thinking about it all yourself, while sensory overload! if i can I just exist along with them and the focus isn't all on me like it is when i'm alone, it's a lot easier.

acting "normal" like a human, or basically what's "appropriate" in public spaces around others takes so much brain power that most people don't have to even think about! because it's automatic for them. so they can't fathom how much i'm struggling and it's so easy for them to say "just do it/you don't need help/you don't need someone to do it with or for you/you're being lazy!" plus adding on sensory overload you can't ignore, while everyone else is able to completely tune out and ignore the horrible lighting, the squeaky cart wheels, the crying babies and screaming kids, the 50 different conversations, the loud phone ring tone a few aisles over, the annoying music playing, someone dropping a box of something, crinkling of wrappers, the cash register beeps, the air being a bit too chilly, the annoying seam on your socks, the scratchy material of your jacket, the overly bright display of products, etc. everything all at once in great intensity. people who can ignore this don't know how lucky they are. they also don't understand what it feels like. it's exhausting.

i'm like a cave gremlin seeing light and the world for the first time ever, every time I leave my room. everything is confusing and overwhelming, but because i'm human shaped, everyone expects me to have the expected human behaviors and they freak out when i dont meet those standards. they don't care how difficult it is for me and how much i'm struggling. they won't help or accommodate me. it has to be my fault I made them uncomfortable.

exposure doesn't make it any better and arguably makes it worse because more sensory overload and more need to use my brain to overthink every word and movement I do, leading to a very deep exhaustion immediately 😫

this is why functioning labels or comparing me to my "good" days/experiences sucks and shouldn't happen. I often need help/support and people expect me to ~do it myself~ and refuse to help me so I struggle and fail to exist correctly.

#autistic #autism #lee rambles #actually autistic #neurodivergent #audhd #autism things #sensory processing disorder #sensory overstimulation #sensory overload #i copy pasted this from where i first typed it and somehow pasted it in the incorrect order because tumblr app is a nightmare #it kept jumping as i was trhing to paste so things pasted jn the wrong spots. but i *think* i fixed it. apologies if not lmao #its one of those days. where i wish to go a place and do a thing but have no one to ask so i will not go #i need a dedicated beat friend i can always ask who preferably has the same work schedule as me or flexible time #or become rich and hire someone to do things with me l m a o #why is tumblr app such a nightmare though why is it jumping around while i type #and why does it turn a whole paragraph italics when i only highlighted ONE WORD.#and dont even get me started on trying to rearrange pictures in a post lmao #this has been a rant within a rant #autism stuff

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savage-rhi · 2 months

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*inhales deeply*

LET'S GET DANGEROUS....

I know I don't owe anyone anything, but I want to be transparent about why I've not been as active lately.

My recent job loss and the discrimination that contributed to said loss had me severely depressed. After coming down a little from survivor/PTSD mode, I needed to take space from everyone and everything. I am starting to feel better, thankfully.

I have been performing odd jobs in my neighborhood so that I am good on cash for bills and housing this month and part of next month. Beyond that, I don't know what to expect.

I am still working on my Ko-Fi shop. This is one of those things I jumped right into thanks to survivor mode, and I didn't account for everything as thoroughly so I'm taking my time with it.

I did speak to a few legal advocates and a couple of lawyers during these past few weeks. Here's the good, bad, and ugly:

Good: Yes, there was illegal discrimination at play. My place of employment didn't handle things the way they should've regarding my excused absences related to disability, and they contributed to emotional duress and screwed over my education prospects.

Bad: I didn't have a paper trail for everything, but I had enough to prove that I did what I was supposed to do on my end when it came to adhering to my place of employments processes. There is sadly nothing that can be done about the third party health insurance company that played a role in screwing me over.

Ugly: Even with the pro-bono stuff that was offered, I'm looking between 20,000-35,000k out of pocket if I wanted to take this to the highest.

Folks...I do not have 20-35k lying around nor the emotional bandwidth to go through a trial/suit. Yes, GoFundMe is an option if I was dead serious on dragging these fuckers dicks through the dirt, but guys, honest to god, I'd rather that 20k-35k go to the following:

Keeping a roof over my head and food on the table until I have stable employment

Ensuring I can afford medical care for my disability, and afford new tests that I'm going to need for long-covid issues

Help me stay in my graduate courses/obtain my therapy licensure

Use it to help out other disabled folks in similar situations

I have closure that I was indeed wronged, that I did everything on my end to the best of my ability, and these dehumanizing assholes aren't going to rob anymore of my energy or time than they already have.

I have appointments to see if covid has fucked up or contributed to anything more serious that hasn't been addressed. I have a secondary PCP now cause of health concerns that have gotten worse. My fibromyalgia flares have been more chaotic since catching covid in January and I'm still figuring out what my new baseline is with that.

Spring Term of my graduate studies started last week, and I'm getting as much as I can done so I have more free time.

I am trying to find motivation to work my fanfics, drabbles, interacting, etc. It's been hard with everything.

My former employer is trying to get out of unemployment benefits and I've been battling that on top of the other stuff.

I need time to rest (like hibernate) and I haven't had the opportunity to do that.

Thank you again to everyone who has checked in on me, asked me how I've been, sent something positive, or donated. I'm sorry I haven't had the hit points to get to everyone individually, but I am trying and I am grateful for the compassion and appreciation.

If you still want to donate before my Ko-Fi shop is up, you can donate at these places:

PayPal: [email protected]

Kofi: KitchenRaptorJ

CashApp: $JayRex1463

If you don't have the means, that's a okay. Take care of yourself first.

If you want to send me comfort things (Ardyn Izunia, Higgs Monaghan, Karl Heisenberg, dinosaurs, dragons, etc.) like art, fanfic, etc. my way, that would be wonderful and I am open to that. I'm still open to a friendly hello or check in, just know I won't respond right away.

Now that all is said and done...

#magenta #magenta is my safe word for venting #i need a vacation at some point #like a quick trip to the coast for a few days in a run down motel or spending the night in my car on the beach with a thing of malibu rum #and a bar of dark sea salt caramel chocolate and the sickest pair of shades known to man with a cigar hanging out of my mouth #please do not ask me to elaborate more on the lawyer stuff it was already a clusterfuck to begin with and i don't have the spoons to comb #over all the little details of what was told to me just know i tried and was dead set on getting answers which i did earn in the end #seriously though i do love you guys that privately DM'd on here and off and asked if im alright even if i didn't say anything back #thank you for being kind #please extend that kindness to yourself as well

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starlightandetherealshadows · 10 months

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an assortment of author rambles (7/24)

Hi honeybees,

I have a couple of things I need to address before they get out of hand. There’s also some updates in this mix. ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

I’m endlessly appreciative of the people who are supportive; the plethora of asks I’ve received that have been sweet and thoughtful have warmed my heart.

I’ve gotten a few messages that go something along the lines of “do ___ or I won’t read your IF” or “thanks for making ___ change, I’ll still be reading” and it’s pissed me off enough to address it.

It’s physically impossible for me to please everyone. Do not send me messages like this. You will be blocked. Yes, even if you’re saying you’re still reading my story. Because you’re not saying it out of interest and out of love for the world I’m creating, you’re saying that because you got your way.

I have different options of approaching my interactions on here. I would prefer to be transparent with you all in my writing process; I also don’t want to create false expectations by not updating you all on ‘major’ story changes. Authors change elements of their story all the time. It's part of the game.

That being said, I have the ability to just write my story and post updates when it’s necessary. There’s no obligation to be interactive. Not ideal for me and my personality type, but if it saves me stress and prevents me from receiving rude, entitled messages, then so be it.

If I need to, I'll turn off anonymous asks for the time being.

Anyways, updates.

To everyone that's sent in their thoughts on MC stat checks or romance routes, I did read all your messages and thank you for your opinions! I didn't respond to all of them, but they are appreciated.

The V romance isn't working and i have to remove them as a triad RO. It's like putting a square peg in a round hole and hoping no one notices. Polyamorous people or people who want to experience a healthy, equal triad relationship deserve better than what the V romance would turn into. With that in mind...

V-type poly with V and MC dating Zero and not each other still works just fine. Any and all MC's can romance Zero, can still fight with V and gain friendship/rivalry with them.

If V is removed as a RO outside of the v-type poly, that means I would add another as an official RO. I'm between Carter and Delphine. Leaning towards Delphine because she's gorgeous and sapphic and I adore her. She would be introduced a few chapters in. Carter and Maggie would remain as flings/possible additions to the group scattered throughout. That would make the official RO's A, C, D, X, Z.

No MC stat checks to initiate any of the RO routes. If there are some incompatibilities, that will be a conversation with the RO and you might get more of a slow burn romance (ex. stoic MC's with C) There might be personality/stat checks to initiate certain moments in the romance (ex. if you're a very sarcastic MC, your RO may not think you mean your affections and you'll have to put in the work to convince them)

I'm gonna get to everyone's asks!! (eventually) I work during the day and I'm writing essays for my medical school applications which take up a lot of my time. So if it's been a while since you've sent your ask, don't worry. I'll get to it! Especially if it's a RO reaction or lore related, those take me much longer to write and cost more energy. But i do love chatting with y'all, so I try to carve out some time for that.

Do not send asks complaining about the changes; they will be ignored and/or deleted. I share them to be transparent.

Okay I think that's it for now. Thank you again for all the amazing messages y'all have sent and I'm sorry for this tone switch, just needed to clear this up. ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

I'll be online later tonight to answer more fun asks and be silly goofy with y'all!! (and if you read all this, thank you for reading my lil novel of a post)

All my love,

Cheye

#memento mori #update #y'all should see some of the asks in my inbox rn like lmaoooo

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galaxy98 · 2 years

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A Message To All

(So I originally wanted to make a video but it was too big to upload so screw it.)

Hello everyone.

As you may have heard, the Supreme Court decided yesterday to overturn Roe vs Wade, which is supposed to uphold the right to a legal and safe abortion, thus giving the power to more states to ban it in the process.

This is one of many decisions that the SCOTUS had made this week like the backing for religious educational funds, which only blurs the line between Church and State and the loss of miranda rights, which made it more difficult for your right to silence to be respected against law enforcement, i.e. you won't have the ability to sue.

The reason why this is relevant is because there's been something on my mind lately.

For the past few years, especially during the Trump administration, I've been beating myself up over what would be the RIGHT choice to make when responding to a crisis.

And like yesterday, there's been a contention amongst people about how things should be done. Whether it's electoral, activism, mutual aid, funding, or organizing.

For me, I'm willing to put aside my pride and say that regardless of the choices you make going forward in the days, months, or years that follow, it's always important to never lose sight of the thing that truly matters:

Being there for each other.

If there's somebody out there who's likely to be vulnerable to these decisions, then give them the help they need.

If you feel like you can't trust the people within your circle, then seek out those you can trust the most.

If you don't think you're capable of doing anything beyond what you're comfortable with, then limit yourself to that space. Because even the smallest actions can have a larger impact than you think.

And--this is very important--if you feel like you're stretching yourself too thin or just feeling the complete exhaustion from having to fight 24/7, then please Please PLEASE rest yourself! Take a breather if you have to. You don't have to give it all up, but just understand that there will always be someone out there to take your place. Your mental health is still a priority.

I don't know how long this is going to last. It may very well take years. But I do know if we do this with our heads held high, we can inspire people to make a difference.

Is it idealistic? Yes, no doubt. Because history dictates that stuff like this is always messy. It's pointless to think that this can all be done peacefully. The earth doesn't give me hope, but I still give it back to those who need it.

I say all of this as someone who's both privileged and a "person of faith."

Even though I am those two things, that should never stop me from having to care. Nor should it be for those who aren't likely to be affected by this.

Plus, no amount of scotsmen fallacy is going to change the overall optics of this supreme court decision. This is white nationalism in action.

I'm at a point now where I stopped caring about bringing people to God. Haven't cared for years. If it means that I have to help those without expecting much in return, then so be it.

I would rather be in solidarity with other people than having to close myself off in the name of Jesus.

In the eyes of leaders, we may be a minority. But when you look around yourself, we are always stronger in numbers.

Because life, in all its flaws, is still beautiful and worth fighting for.

TL;DR: When fighting against a crisis, solidarity is key.

(If you feel like sharing this outside of Tumblr, then do so by all means. Screencap it if you have to. It's meant to be shared.)

#personal #politics #supreme court #roe versus wade #scotus #social justice #activism #human rights #solidarity #abortion #classism #elitism #psa #public service announcement #electoralism

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hologramcowboy · 2 years

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I have to say I am really sad to see how you too diss someone as an AA or an Ackles worshipper if they have some different opinion.

I have to say I'm really sad you didn't check that person's profile or history, the comments they usually make. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, still, the way they were trying to accuse everyone and twist things negatively was exactly like an AA does which was my point. Behaving like Jensen's flying monkeys. They are free to be as AA or whatethey they want but that person could have expressed their point just like everyone else with differing opinions that I did post, in a clear, respectful way. Instead they chose to attack everyone by following a supposed other Anon's example. I don't have to tollerate rudeness and it's extremely dangerous what these people are doing, always trying to start huge dramas over conversations that don't even interest them. Telling me I "diss" others with differing opinions couldn't be farther from the truth. It must be confirmation bias, because plenty of opposing opinion have been posted on this blog, most from people full on harassing me and forgive me but I am going to be painfully blunt: it's abusive that you expect me to sit there and take anything anyone throws at me without responding with boundaries and clarity. That "some different opinion" was full of vitriol, a toxic emotional rant disseminating limiting paradigms and making negative assumptions about post that did not contain the content she claimed, I am saddened you can't recognize that.

I've stated several times on this blog, I don't care what anyone ships or stans, what I care about is humanity. We can be in harmony even being very different but that requires mutual respect and healthy boundaries.

And contrary to your belief, it seems, I don't have to tollerate abuse in any way, shape or form just because my opinions are different than what someone else expects. There are plenty of people I've discussed with that disagreed with me and yet never resorted to spreading lies and accusations to start drama like that vally person did. In fact, some of my followers are completely different from me and may even hate me liking Jensen yet they are pure joy to interact with and always respectful. So it's a matter of choice, those who want to live in harmony do so without trying to limit others.

And again, if anything on my blog is not for you, feel free to unfollow, it's up to you to curate your online experience and I absolutely support that, I'm not for everyone just like not everyone is for me. I don't see why anyone should ever tollerate or expose themselves to content they dislike, it's unhealthy and stressful so I appreciate those who recognize that. Should also add that I'm human so sometimes, just like everyone else, I may make mistakes or not be on brand and that's perfectly okay, I get to grow and learn and I'm grateful for that.

It's hard to tell tone from written messages so I apologize for being brutally honest, I still reinforce what I said, no one should accept toxic behaviors because we all have the ability to interact without engaging in them.

Also, do you really mean to tell me those people don't over worship Jensen? Because that's also untrue. Balanced people don't go around starting fandom fights over their favorite because, for one, they recognize the value of differing opinions and secondly, they aren't over invested in said celebrity. What's wrong with helping people become aware they are overinvested? Or would you rather they waste their lives on worshipping Jensen and attacking everyone on their path while foregoing their personal dreams and goals? That's the saddest part of all, that people get caught up in fandom drama and wars and neglect themselves and their life over a celebrity obsession. In the process, they also destroy many others which is why I discourage anyone who exhibits that kind of behavior. There are much bigger issues in life than fandom drama so it really helps to get some perspective.

Also, I sometimes get accused of being an AA too but you don't see me going to other blogs to harass them or their posts over Jensen and then insist on how I am not one in the process. 🤣

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aiisasblog · 1 year

Text

How powerful will AI be in 2030?

As an AI language model, I don't have the ability to predict the future with certainty...

How powerful will AI be in 2030? However, based on the current trends and advancements in AI technology, it is expected that AI will become more powerful and sophisticated by 2030.

https://aidude.io/

In the next decade, AI is likely to continue to improve in the following areas:

Natural Language Processing (NLP):

AI models that can understand and respond to human speech will be more accurate and able to process complex conversations.

Computer Vision:

AI models that can recognize and analyze images and videos are becoming more sophisticated and enable a variety of applications such as self-driving cars, surveillance systems and medical imaging.

Robotics:

AI-powered robots are becoming more and more advanced, allowing them to perform a wider range of tasks with greater autonomy and precision.

Deep learning:

AI models that use deep learning algorithms are becoming more powerful and can process and analyze large amounts of data faster and more accurately.

Edgecomputing:

AI models that can be run on small devices such as smartphones and IoT devices are becoming more and more widely used, enabling more efficient and decentralized processing of data.

AI Technology:

Overall, advances in AI technology are expected to lead to significant improvements in various industries, including healthcare, finance, transportation, and manufacturing. However, as with any technology, there may also be challenges and potential risks that need to be addressed, such as privacy concerns, cybersecurity threats, and workplace relocations.

How powerful will AI be in 2030?

Today we will discuss a topic that was on everyone's lips - How powerful will AI be in 2030?

[Cut to a shot of an AI robot]

We've all seen the remarkable advances that AI has made over the past decade, from voice-activated virtual assistants to self-driving cars. But how far will this technology go? Some experts have predicted that AI will surpass human intelligence by 2030.

[Back to the moderator]

What does this mean for us? Will AI become a destructive force that will bring about the end of human civilization? Or should we be optimistic about the possibilities that AI has to offer?

[Cut to the hiring of an expert group]

To answer these questions, we have gathered some of the best experts in the field to weigh the issue. Let's look at what they have to say.

[Cut to an expert]

Expert 1: "AI has the potential to be the biggest breakthrough in the history of mankind, surpassing the invention of the wheel, electricity and the Internet together. With the exponential growth of computing power and the huge amounts of data that are generated every day, AI can achieve things that were previously unimaginable."

[Edit to the moderator]

Well, that sounds exciting. But what exactly can we expect from AI in the next decade?

[Cut to an expert]

Expert 2: "AI has the ability to change various sectors, from healthcare and education to finance and agriculture. It can analyze data more effectively, automate everyday tasks, and ultimately increase efficiency and productivity."

[Edit to the moderator]

That sounds useful, but what about the ethical concerns around AI? With great power comes great responsibility, right?

[Cut to an expert]

Expert 3: "The ethical dilemmas of AI are real and worrying. We have seen examples of AI making biased and unfair decisions due to the lack of transparency of its algorithms. We need to make sure that AI is programmed with ethical standards and is always responsible for their decisions."

[Edit to the moderator]

This is important to take into account. It is important to ensure that AI is developed with the right intentions and programmed in such a way that the welfare of humanity is a priority.

[Cut to an expert]

Expert 1: "The potential benefits of AI are enormous, from making our lives easier to solving some problems."

https://aidude.io/

#artificial intelligence #what is artificial intelligence #artificial intelligence movie #artificial #ai write

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jayktoralldaylong · 2 years

Text

I remember reading somewhere that Jayce doesn't stand alone as his own character and is dependent on his relationship with Mel and Viktor, but after much consideration I've realised that's not true (I can't remember if I read it here or not). The reason it seems that way though is because CARING IS JAYCE'S CHARACTER. His biggest weakness being that he CARES too much. That's why it seems like the entire summary of his being is dependent on his relationship with other people, because he as a person IS dependant on other people. He might not be as complex as Viktor or Vi but that's the beauty of Jayce.

He is one of the most selfless characters in Arcane and that is his achilles heel. People like to call Jayce selfish (the Jayce slander organisation), I don't even know where they got the idea that Jayce is selfish or arrogant.

Even this, what is called his most selfish scene wasn't a decision that he made himself. If Mel had made no moves on this man he'd have no idea that she liked him. He responded because she was kissing him.

You can tell the kiss took him completely by surprise. He summarised this is what she wants and he gave it to her without hesitation.

It's his same reaction to everyone else, which is why he's so easily manipulated. If Viktor asked for anything, Jayce would happily hand it over. Jayce was living a happy life when the only one he had to answer to was Viktor. Mel places him in a public space and suddenly he's thinking about what everyone wants.

What Heimerdinger wants, what Mel wants, what Piltover wants, what the Undercity wants. Always trying to make other people happy, willing to sacrifice his own happiness and well being. How often do we even see Jayce happy? He's always anxious. Always stressing. Always concerned, and it gets worse the more responsibility is heaped on him.

His personality wasn't designed to handle this much effort so we see him leaning on others in a plea for help. That's why he's dependant on them. That's why it seems like his character revolves around them.

Heck, if Caitlyn had been around more his character would have revolved around her as well. Which it did, even with her brief appearance. He became a Councillor for a day and Caitlyn wants to release a whole criminal from jail, and he lets her! He didn't even ask any questions. The reason he's stressing so much about Piltover Vs the Undercity is because EVERYONE he cares about lives in Piltover and he's been forced to watch them die thanks to Jinx and their shenanigans while they do nothing! It makes a person want to go mad. Viktor is in danger, Mel is in danger, his mother is in danger, Caitlyn who is risking her life in a place that he cannot reach...is in danger! How do people expect Jayce to sit still or think right in that kind of situation. Naturally he thinks taking action is the best cause despite Mel's warning because people are dying.

But then he SEES the Undercity for the first time. Actually sees them and realises that attacking them is homicide. That's all that it is. Just homicide. He doesn't push on even with Vi egging him on because there's another intriguing thing about Jayce it's his ability to chose.

He was given a choice the first time between Heimerdinger, Mel and Viktor. He chose Heimerdinger. The second time, when he realised Viktor was sick, he chose Viktor. Vi was asking him to chose murder and massacre, Jayce can't choose those things. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. How do people not understand that Jayce keeps trying not to hurt anyone and ends up hurting himself in the process.

He comes back and choses peace. He's able to coral everyone into choosing peace and now Jinx had put him in a very difficult situation.......

Because Jayce is in fact the most emotional character in Arcane. All his decisions are based on emotion, and if anything....anything at all, happens to Viktor or/and Mel because of Jinx. Jayce will NOT be choosing peace.

#jayce x viktor #arcane viktor #jayvik #jayvic #arcane jayce #hextech husbands #mel and jayce #mel x jayce #jayce x mel #jayce talis #is an amazing character #i wish other people could see that too #jaymelvik #meljayvik

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postalenha · 3 years

Text

11. special

not really knowing what to wear, you decided to put on a beige sundress that goes below your knee, wishing that jay wouldn't bring you in a wall climbing type of place.

checking your reflection in the mirror, you fix a strand of hair that's sticking out and iron the dress with your hand, "perfect."

you smiled before hearing one to two honks of car. you decided to leave your apartment. outside, you see jay in his car, waving at you. you went straight to him saying, “good afternoon.”

he unbuckled his seatbelt and went out of his car, opening the car door to greet you, “good afternoon, lovely.” you smile before going inside.

his car smells like fresh flowers, which helps you calm down and not worry throughout the ride. once you've had enough courage to speak, you ask him “may i ask where we’re headed to?”

"i'm taking you to my favorite restaurant." he answered, "don't worry, i won't disappoint you."

you softly chuckle, "i'm looking forward to it."

the drive was smooth and quiet. you think if this was even a good idea because you remember telling yourself to never meet him again, let alone involve him in your life.

but you decided to give him a chance. it's not like you would lose anything. you would just hang out, that's all.

he stopped his car in front of a fancy building. he got out of his car and opened the door for you. he then offered his arm where you can cling your hand into. giving his car keys to the valet guy and you went straight inside.

immediately after a staff member had a glance of jay, she knew right away where to lead us. the two of you are now sitting at a table for two before the waitress hands you your menu.

you look over at jay, trying to get a recommendation from him while he's preoccupied, searching at his menu.

the waitress laughs a little before she pokes jay and points at you, jay widens his eyes. "oh no worries, i'll order for us." he smiled, "but you can order what you want too."

shaking your head no you tell him, "it's okay. you can order for us." he took that as a green light, so he ordered everything in the menu that he wanted you to have a taste of.

you weren't really listening to what he's saying, all you feel right now is admiration. you admired how well he can handle himself. he seems to know what he's doing, and looks like he's an expert with these types of situations.

waiting for the food to arrive, "i hope i lived upto your expectations." jay scratches the back of his nape, "i didn't tell you where we're going to keep the thrill."

you laughed at what he just said, "you made me anxious the whole ride just for you to experience some thrill?" you questioned him, he just smiled at you.

"the cold sweats were worth it. this place is magnificent." you commented, looking around and analyzing the place.

"it's elegant, very. yet cozy." you added, the structural design of the place was finely furnished. there are aerial plants hanging but the sight doesn't really make you suffocate, instead, they help make the surrounding more earthy.

"i know, that's why it's my favorite." he happily said, "and i'm glad you're liking it so far."

not long after, your food arrived. you couldn't tell if jay was very hungry or he just genuinely wanted you to try the food. seeing the number of plates on your table right now, it's enough to feed a whole six person family.

overwhelmed, you don't know where to start so you just stared at the food as they stare right back at you. jay sees your reaction and actually thinks it was cute.

while you're busy getting lost in your own thoughts, he started cutting the steak for you. it just went unnoticed until he switched your plate to his.

"why did you steal mine?" you asked him with full confusion painted on your face, he smirks. pointing at the plate in front of you, "they are the same thing. the only difference is; i already cut that for you."

after cutting his steak, he handed you a small cup with some kind of sauce inside. "try that with the flat bread like this." he showed you how to do it, and you just followed him, "then eat."

you both eat in usion before you hum in surprise, jay smiles for the nth time seeing you nod your head in approval. "that was actually good!" you said.

"it is. it makes a good appetizer." he told you, you both moved on and continued eating the main course. “i’m glad you agreed to see me.” he said.

you look at him, “i’m also glad you brought me to such a good place.” you said a while before taking a bite into your steak. tasting the savor of the meat as you chew it.

silence was the sound of the afternoon as you both ate in peace. he sometimes offers to help you with things like pouring your glass of wine, wiping the sauce from your lips but other than that, you both really didn’t interact that much.

jay had been thinking of what he should say, but he couldn't seem to find the right words or construct a good sentence to initiate a conversation. he only smiles at you whenever your eyes meet his.

but when dessert came, you grew tired of the silence that had been hurting your ears. so you decided to ask him, “how are your butterflies?” it’s funny to ask how his butterflies are.

because if he would ask you the same question, you would answer that yours are in your stomach as you speak. “they’re doing good.” he said, “i’m actually planning if i should free them or not.”

“why?” you ask him, jay looked at you. seeing your face, he knew that you actually cared because it is painted right all over your face. “i just think that i’m holding them back from the freedom that they deserve.”

“but what if their freedom is you?” you blurt out. “i mean- what if they feel like they have all the freedom in the world as long as you’re there by their side?” you panic while you blabber out the words without processing them in your head first.

“sorry, i wasn’t making sense.” you’re talking about butterflies for god’s sake. why would his butterflies even feel that way about him- well they can, but not certain.

jay thinks that it was fascinating that you said that. “no, you are making sense.” he reassured. he never once thought of how his butterflies would feel if he let go of them, he was busy thinking about what they feel in his perspective and never theirs.

instantly after you’re finished eating, you go out and wait for the valet driver to get the car. “we can sit there while we wait.” he pointed at the bench, you shake your head. “it’s fine, we can wait here.” you said, “unless you want to sit.”

he shook his head too and was also about to say something, “jongseong!” a woman shouts as she approaches you. you’re confused, there is no jongseong here. unless your name wasn’t y/n after all.

the woman stops in front of jay, “i didn’t expect to see you here!” she greets him with a hug. he’s jongseong?

you just stood there, quiet. even distanced yourself to give them some space. of course, just the right distance to hear what they’re talking about. “i most certainly didn't expect to see you either.” he said, the woman laughed and slaps his shoulder.

“we’re going to a pub, do you want to come?” she invited him. that is when jay- or jongseong- or whoever the hell he says he is; looks your way so you avoid his eyes, but on your peripheral vision you can see him walk to you.

feeling an arm on you shoulder, you look at his hand while you hear him say, “sorry. i’m with someone.” he said. you expected the girl to go with what he said but she just smiles. “come on! there would be a lot of people.”

she inserts herself in the middle of you two and clings her arm into yours, “she can find more friends there too!” you look away because you don’t know how to respond to her invitation, you barely even know her.

but that was hypocritical for you to say, because it wasn’t that much of a problem when you and jay spent the night at the pub. you were about to agree when something drawn on her arm caught your attention.

it’s the butterfly jay had drew on your arm when you two met at the bar, the same one. the only difference is that yours is already faded while hers is new and visible. you slowly remove her hand that was clinging on your arm.

“sorry, i’m really tired. i’ll be heading home, but jay can come if he wants to.” you told them. the girl lost her verbal ability and just looked at jay, “i’m going wherever she goes.. so, i’ll see you around.” he said.

the valet driver came right on time, jay was about to open the door for you but you opened it for yourself and just went inside his car not saying anything. jay doesn't really know what the big deal is, he certainly doesn’t get why you’re suddenly mad when you were so smiley earlier.

the car ride was silent too, it was awkward but you think that it’s better this way. but jay didn’t. he wanted the talkative y/n he met at the pub, you’re the same girl but why are you acting so cold all of a sudden?

once his car was parked in front of your apartment, you got out of his car and said “thank you.” and rushed inside. not letting him say any word. you throw yourself onto your bed, screaming.

you thought you were special. turns out jay’s just good at making individuals feel like they are, when in reality you are just like everyone else. a person who seeks the love they think they deserve and need.

PREV, MASTERLIST, NEXT,

TAGLIST, open @yourlocalhotgf @neptuniees @ddeonuism @witheeseung @sunghoonify @one800127 @jaemimpulsive @rikibae @ncityy04 @ryu-naa @curryramyeon @hyuckworld @enhacolor @xoxojayd3n @mishtidoie @jungw8ns @n1k1tty @primorange @sprngfeverr @youreverydayzebra @bayoleta @nikisjpg @jaycenzo @heeslut @she-is-dreaming @kyleeanne

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writing-prompt-s · 3 years

Note

Hey there! First time anon asker, long time follower. I appreciate all the work you do for this blog. Just want to keep the conversation going about the Edison quote you retweeted, on "giving up" versus "knowing when to stop." Though Edison sucks as some comments pointed out, I happen to agree with the quote to an extent. I'm curious to know more about your experience. First, some background for my opinion: I work as a student tutor for fellow college students. One of the biggest things we learn as tutors is how to encourage students NOT to give up when they face a challenge. Lots of people, especially first-gen college students, give up when they're struggling in class because they assume they're "not smart enough" or something along those lines, when research and my personal experience show that that's not true. They are able to change their school habits and seek out help, but only if they already have a mindset where they believe they can do it. Those who don't believe in themselves are less likely to seek help and thus, more likely to fail. Students might also drop out of college or get bad grades because of things outside of their control, like losing their job or other difficulties that make it hard for them to continue at college. This is also an issue because some (not all) colleges have programs to help students during difficult times, but many students don't even try, they just drop out. I have benefitted from some of these programs personally, so even though they can't cure everything, these programs should be considered when a student is struggling. And sometimes, dropping out of college IS the best decision for a person, whether they intend to return later or go a different path. It's just that for many students, they don't have to give up on their education/career goals because of the hardships they're currently trying to work through, but they believe that there's nothing else they can do. The solution may be out there, but they "give up" because they didn't look for it. As a tutor, that's why phrases like "don't give up!" are so important for the people I work with. Not because college is for everyone or that people should sacrifice their well-being for a degree, but because students (again especially first generation college students, students of color, and low income students) have such low confidence in themselves and their ability to learn and grow through obstacles. The Edison quote wasn't about college, but I'm using my experience as a college student and tutor as a more concrete example of why the Edison quote could be useful. College student or not, I think having a "don't give up" attitude can get you through some hard times. So all of this is to preface my question: in your opinion, how can we know the difference between a healthy, "I will do everything I can to meet my goals" situation and an unhealthy, "I will sacrifice everything" situation? Sorry for this lengthy ask btw, if you don't want to respond I completely understand. Just hoping to hear your insight to the topic more. Thanks for this blog and for sharing your thoughts! -S

Hey S!

Read “The Dip” by Seth Godin. It counts about 80 pages but reads like 30. I highly recommend reading it and using the ideas in guiding your students. When you read it, it’s mostly common sense with a bit of oh damn, nice! But sometimes common sense needs to be conceptualized, made concrete, or put into context, and this little book does just that.

The main idea is to know if you should quit or persevere during ‘a dip’ by forecasting the probability of success and take costs/rewards into account.

However, this might not be everyone’s best skill, so some people might need practice or guidance. As Ray Dalio points out in his book ‘Principles’, everyone is wired differently. Just as our bodies come in different shapes and sizes, so do the compositions of our brains. Some people might have weak bones or naturally have lots of muscle mass. Others might regulate emotions well, or are weak at visualizing the future. (By the way, neuroscience tells us we can shape and improve our brains!)

The different compositions of our brains also affects communication between people. Everyone encodes and decodes information differently, and then also gets filtered through one’s own life experiences. So advice such as ‘first seek to understand, then to be understood’ is paramount before encouraging people to ‘not give up.’ If the other person doesn’t feel that you completely understand their situation, saying that actually might work counter-productive!

In my opinion, in most cases 'don’t give up!’ is a good motto for college students. You know what to expect from college. If you do x you will get x. If you stick through the dip (time spend getting good grades), you will get the reward (degree). However, as you point out, some students might face additional stress outside of college, or society might already have put them at a disadvantage. It might just become too much. You helping and encouraging students who are at a disadvantage is incredibly helpful. As humans, we are naturally wired to be interdependent. We cannot do everything by ourselves, nor should we want to. We thrive on meaningful relationships and social connections.

So where is the line between healthy and unhealthy? That’s actually a very tough question. Most people tend to think of life as a journey, always trying to get somewhere, trying to achieve something. It would mean telling people how to live their life and I have no clue. Of course, if in trying to get to your goal your body shows signs of it being unhealthy, stop or take a break. Stress is good, but not to the point where you break down. Self-management is key. Overall I would say it’s healthy if your values align with the process to achieve the goal, the goal, and the consequences of achieving it. But then again, always be realistic. Quitting frees up time, energy and other resources that can be spend on achieving a different, perhaps more rewarding/meaningful/attainable goal.

An attempt at a more concrete answer would be:

It’s impossible to generalize what is healthy and what is unhealthy as everyone has a different idea of what that is and is living their own complex life. Therefore, on a case-by-case basis, people should be taught to take a step back sometimes, contemplate what they are doing, analyse it, be open-minded, seek help from (qualified) people and ask for feedback and advice, and then make up their minds themselves whether what they are doing is healthy or not.

As @zeadtalost said in the comments: “Man’s gotta know his limitations”. But then I would like to add to it that ‘man’ should not be fool enough never to test what they believe to be their limitations. Because what you say is true. Often limitations are in the mind, and overcoming them is what will make people more confident and capable! So please keep doing what you are doing. I doubt you find this a concrete answer, but I am pretty sure the book by Seth Godin will help you lots! Also, by the length of your ask I can tell you are very dedicated and a compassionate tutor, and it’s your caring attitude that will give your students the best chance of succeeding!

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skiyoosmi · 3 years

Text

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty nine: welcome to california

prev < masterlist > next

Fate, red thread, soulmates. You always perceived them as the embodiment of gods' toys, their playtime; you loathed how it can be so giving yet so cruel— it gives you someone to love yet at the same time, makes you lose them by the same love you harbor. How foolish, was what you thought and yet in the end, you danced right on their palms, attended to their desires for entertainment, and now, you're left with nothing but gaps in your memories, flashes of light and headaches when you try to remember your beloved one.

Every day that you wake up is another day that you feel the hollowness in your insides. With your eyes staring up at the ceiling, your heart throbs for your own desire to find him, to let him complete you, whoever he is. So, despite the hundreds, or maybe at this point, thousands, of scolding you get from your mother, you try over and over again.

Because fuck the soulmate system. Fuck those consequences.

And yet...

"YN... I was your soulmate."

You thought you'd feel a bit more ecstatic when you finally hear those words. You imagined yourself immediately running in your ex-soulmate's arms, engulfing them in a tight hug that felt like you never wanted to let go, because you swore that you actually won't. But for some reason, you stay still from where you're standing, still bearing the hollowness that desires to be refilled.

If this was some sort of sitcom, you definitely would've heard the sound effects where they play hoots of owls due to how awkward it felt. Truth be told, you have no idea how to respond considering that your current feelings were opposite of your expectations.

But as you try to process his words, your hands begin to clench from where they hang on your sides, "Is this some kind of a sick joke, Iwaizumi? Because I'm telling you, it's not fucking funny."

If only you had the ability to read minds, you would have been able to see the internal mess caused by the panic that was arising in him. Though he did expect you to not believe him right away, he was certainly not ready for the reaction you just gave him. Hence why he slightly flinches from your angry tone, pausing to get his emotions together before snapping out of his thoughts, "What? No! Why would I lie about that?"

You glower at him, "Then tell me why I remember you from the moment I woke up the day after cutting my thread. Because I clearly remember that you... you were that girl's soulmate! Yui!"

"No, I wasn't! And who the heck is that? I don't even know anyone whose name is Yui! I think your memory's just distorted, YN," he rubs his forehead in distress before looking straight into your eyes again, "It's hard to believe but even the system's not perfect, YN. Just because it has been said that you’ll forget your soulmate, doesn’t mean it will apply to everyone. I don't know how you could remember me, but I swear, it was me."

Then why don't I feel anything but disappointment— is a thought of yours that remains unspoken while he tells you to believe him. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to remember him as your soulmate but to no avail, all the memories that flash in your mind are those that he claims to be distorted: from the moment you met to how you worked together for this certain play. Nothing just adds up.

You don't feel the headache of trying to recall your soulmate, nor do you feel the longingness for the home you seek in him— looking at him, everything just feels... random, or even, normal... way too normal. Like it was just some sort of friendly feeling.

Or maybe it was just because you had way too high expectations?

"YN, please... believe in me," he begs, approaching you.

"I..." you look at the way his hand wraps around your wrist before pulling your hand away from his grasp, "I think we should stop for today, Haji. I just need a moment to think this through… Too much, it’s all too much for me to take."

You back away from him, much to his dismay as his face drops, "I'm assuming you know your way to your hotel, seeing as you were able to find our apartment by yourself anyway."

You turn around and begin your journey back to your house, hands clenched that your knuckles almost went white. And while you did so, the spiky haired lad can only watch your back as your figure went further and further away from him.

Please trust me, YN, we can make this work. I will make it work.

After a few minutes of remaining in his place, he feels his phone buzz from his jeans’ pocket. As he fishes it out and reads the text message he received, his face beams and he quietly cheers.

[6:23 PM] YN: Let’s talk again tomorrow. I’m sorry for leaving you all of a sudden.

The morning sun came as quick as how the previous night left and so, here you were, waiting for Iwaizumi in the café you were just in yesterday. The steam coming from the espresso you have just ordered kept you entertained for a short while, before you sighed because you felt yourself finally becoming nervous.

Am I making the right decision? What if he’s lying? No, Hajime’s got no reason to lie to me, right? But…

“YN! Sorry, I kind of got confused along the way,” Iwaizumi pants as he jogs and finally stops in front of you. He takes a look at your strained smile, giving back a gentle one before he takes a seat across, “I’m sorry for just dropping the bomb on you like that. You look like you haven’t gotten even a wink of sleep.”

“Oh, haha, yeah,” you awkwardly laugh, touching your face out of consciousness. You mentally facepalmed and screamed, Dumbass, don’t be so obvious about your feelings!

Despite your inner turmoil, you calmed yourself and collected your thoughts, sighing afterwards before beginning to speak, “Look, Haji… no, Hajime… I’m going to be frank right now so please pardon me. When you admitted that you were my soulmate, I didn’t feel anything. Not that I’m entirely supposed to but… you know. It’s still kind of the reason why a part of me still finds it hard to believe you. But of course, you’re my friend and I haven’t thought of any reason why you would lie to me, so I’ll still give you the benefit of the doubt.”

He nods and smiles gratefully, “Of course, I understand how difficult it is, YN. This whole soulmate system is a fiasco. I mean, look at how it distorted your memory and made me an entirely different person to you.”

You completely disregard his statements, choosing to go by the dialogues you literally prepared all night, “Before telling you my decision, I just want to ask why did you do it?”

Taken aback by your sudden question, he blinks but of course, to you, it just seemed like he was trying to pick out his words carefully, maybe to not hurt you, “You were someone out of my league. Everytime I see you, I just feel like no matter what I do, I’ll never deserve you. That’s why I thought I should set you free, let you meet and love someone who’s on the same level as you. Someone who’s as perfect as you.”

You squint your eyes as you take his words into consideration, “Then why come back now? Why go all the way to California when you’ve already let me go?”

He lets out a sad chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck, “I… I just… When you left, even with this cut thread,” he gestures to the black thread around his pinky, something only you and him can see, “You were the only one I can think of. I thought I’d be fine… but imagining you with someone else… It was and will surely be a torture. That’s why I realized that it didn’t matter if you were my soulmate or not, I like you, YN. Not even the system can refute that.”

It felt odd to hear such words from Iwaizumi because the one from your memory was someone who’d rather keep his feelings to himself than burden others. But as he said, this system was a fiasco, a fucked-up universe the gods gave you. So you only nod at his responses to your questions, biting your lip as you rethink your decision.

“Okay,” you heave a deep sigh, “I’ll give you a chance. I don’t mean to offend you by saying this, but I don’t want to get into a relationship just because you claimed that you were my soulmate, Hajime. Doubts don’t just come and go but as I said, I don’t think you have any reason to lie to me so yeah. We can… I don’t know, start off all over again and get to know each other first? I just want to fix my fucked up memory first before committing to something. To begin with, I’m not even sure of what I’m feeling right now. I feel my heart flutter around you, but at the same time, I think it’s just infatuation. And I wouldn’t want to be unfair to you. Because you’re my precious friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Underneath the table separating the two of you, Iwaizumi clenches his fist and resisting the urge to curse, he grits his teeth and forces out a smile, “Right. Of course, I definitely don’t want to be unfair to you too.”

On behalf of Japan Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future.

“I knew you have always been a shameless person, but still, I never took you to be someone this shameless. The ticket I gave you was just a test at first, you know, just for me to see how much you're longing for my sister,” Kiyoomi grumbles while he prepares to get off the plane, “But god, I’ve never thought you’d actually have the guts to accept it and go with me.”

Atsumu, too caught up in his internal giddiness and excitement to notice Kiyoomi’s complaints, looks outside the plane window with a familiar shimmer back in his eyes, “Thank you, ‘Yoomi. I owe you my life.”

Your brother rolls his eyes, “Damn right, you do. The things I do for these idiots, god.”

Once again, we welcome you to California.

marga's notes. all i can say is wow, man's got the audacity to actually keep lying with a straight face— i mean i know i made him to be that way but god, why am i suddenly having the urge to punch somebody in the face 😀

#haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu smau #atsumu smau #iwaizumi smau #haikyuu angst #haikyuu texts #miya atsumu #iwaizumi hajime

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haileygarciasunshine · 3 years

Text

10 Things I Hate About You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Written: April 19th, 2021

Posted: April 19th, 2021

Warning: Swearing, Mentions of alcohol, dive bar, mentions of misogyny, Fluff.

Word Count: 1,840

Summary: Loosely based on the movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

TV and Movie inspired Masterlist

"Come on, Buck." Steve groaned while he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "You haven't dated since the forties. Don't you think it's time to get back out there?" He nudged his friend's shoulder as they continued walking side by side down the sidewalk.

The bitter night breeze met the slight barrier of their leather jackets, that slightly reflected the street lights.

Bucky huffed, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know.."

Steve sighed. "She won't go out with me unless her best friend has someone to go out with too."

"Tragic story," Bucky spoke rolling his eyes. "But I don't see what that has to do with me."

"Well...." Steve's voice trailed off as he reached up scratching the back of his neck. Once they walked to the bar, both men came to a halt standing awkwardly before one another. Each man giving his tell of anxiety. Bucky, glanced down at his gloved covered hands, as he fidgeted with the seams. While Steve, reached for the back of his neck scratching it.

"Well... You.. You see.." Steve shifted from foot to foot as he attempted to piece together words that wouldn't bring Bucky to alert. "She's.." Letting out a huff, he furrowed his eyebrows together as his shoulders slumped forward in defeat. "She's not like a typical girl."

"I...I don't know how to explain her to you-" Steve gave up his attempt. "Come on, see for yourself." Opening the door, Steve led Bucky towards the stools you and Sharon were sitting.

"Here, let's sit here and you can form your own opinion of her." Steve spoke, flagging the bartender as they sat on the side of the bar with the ability to watch anything unfold.

"Come on, Y/N." Sharon groaned. "Give him a chance."

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. Lifting your drink to your mouth, you attempted to ignore her pleads.

"I...I just want you to be happy." She frowned as her eyes filled with sorrow.

"What makes you think I'm not happy?" You questioned raising an eyebrow at her, as you felt your eyebrows furrow together.

"It's just-"

Cutting her off, one of the many sleazy men that had been ogling your best friend had decided now would be the time for him to make a move.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." The man grinned giving Sharon a head-to-toe survey. Turning his attention to you, he was taken back by your rough around the edges exterior.

"Aw, it's okay princess." He cooed at you, reaching his hand up towards your face attempting to push a strand of hair behind your ear.

Swatting at his hand, you felt your blood beginning to boil. The music that had been streaming through the speakers seemed to quiet, as everyone's eyes were on you in anticipation for how you would react.

"Don't touch me." You hissed through clenched teeth, holding Sharon's gaze.

"Come on, babe." The man continued, his hand landing on the ledge of the bar attempting to cage you in. "With a body like that, you should be grateful, I haven't-"

Raising your eyebrows, you felt heat dance upon your cheeks while adrenaline coursed through your veins. Whirling your head in the direction of the man, you scoffed. "I should be grateful, is that right?"

"Y/N..." Sharon spoke attempting to calm your sudden rage.

"Well..." You stood, nearly knocking the man to the ground. Moving around him, you stood in the walking aisle. Placing your purse strap on your shoulder, you kept one hand closed around it. "I guess in this society, being male and an asshole...Makes you worthy of our time." You spat, as you felt your features harden.

Cheers erupted from all areas of the bar, as you carried a smile while walking to the entry of the bar receiving pats on the back and praise from strangers.

Once the door closed, Steve cleared his throat as he brought Bucky's attention back to the previous topic. "So-"

"You need someone who doesn't scare easy." He spoke, nodding his head in understanding. Raising the bottle to his lips, he gulped a sip before letting out a sigh. "When's the date?"

Catching him by surprise, Steve gazed at Bucky in confusion, before a smirk made its way upon his lips.

"What if he doesn't like me?" Sharon questioned her face filled with concern.

Rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms along your chest. "He would be stupid not to." You sighed. "Besides, there's plenty of other guys that are dying to take you out."

"Y/N!" She groaned, stomping her foot in the process. "You're not helping!"

"Well, do you want the truth or do you want me to lie?" You questioned raising your eyebrows.

Before either of your could finish your conversation, the sound of rapid knocks on your front door bounced off the walls.

Silently, you thanked whoever was at the door, for interrupting your argument. Walking towards the door, Sharon was hot on your heels.

Opening the door, you frowned as your gaze fell upon the two men standing before you.

"Uh, can I help you?" You questioned crossing your arms along your chest.

Clearing his throat, the blonde shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I'm here to pick up, Sharon."

Turning to face your friend, her face was illuminated with something you hadn't seen cross her face in a long time.

Bringing your attention back to the men before you, the blonde had his eyes locked on Sharon. Stepping out of your apartment, they linked their arms together before the hallway was filled with giggles and chuckles.

Momentarily, you had forgotten he had come with his friend. Clearing his throat, your attention was brought back to the man before you with a baseball cap upon his head.

"So-"

"No, thanks." You spat, taking a step back readying to shut your door in his face. "Not interested."

Slamming the door shut, you leaned against it as you closed your eyes attempting to regain your breath, that the icy-eyed man seemed to have stolen.

Sighing, he screwed his eyes shut.

Minutes before reaching your door.

"Come on, Buck." Steve pleaded. "You promised!"

Bucky groaned. "You saw how she ate that man from the bar and spit him out."

Steve sighed, defeat quickly setting in. "But, you're Bucky Barnes. A super-soldier, former hydra assassin, former Winter Soldier..." He spoke clasping his hand onto Bucky's shoulder. "You can do this."

"Fifty dollars." He negotiated. Crossing his arms along his chest sending a glare in Steve's direction.

"I'm not paying you to go out with a girl!" Steve exclaimed mirroring Bucky's stance.

"Then I'm not-"

"Fine."

"Fine?" Bucky questioned surprise etching along his features.

"Fine." Steve shrugged, pulling out his wallet and handing him a fifty-dollar bill. "Now, let's go."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he made a mental note to tell Steve he would be upping his price if this were to continue.

Forming a fist, he lifted his hand, rapidly knocking on your door.

"Go away!" You yelled from the other side of the door. "I'm not buying what, you're selling!"

"I can do this all day, doll." He chuckled.

Yanking open the door, you sent him a deadly glare. "Leave before I call the cops for solicitation."

Pushing past you, he made his way into your apartment as he ignored your protests. Shrugging off his jacket, he placed it on your coat stand, before putting his hands in his front pockets.

Groaning, you shut your door, before turning to face him.

"Not too shabby." He spoke aloud.

"Gee, thanks." You spat. "I always hoped to gain the approval of someone who trespassed into my apartment."

Rolling your eyes, you plopped down on your couch before resuming your show. Letting out a content sigh, you had almost forgotten about tall dark-haired man.

Sitting beside you, he made himself comfortable, placing his arm along the backside of your couch.

As some time passed, there was a comfortable silence between you.

"I'm Bucky." His husky voice causing your stomach to flutter.

Nodding your head, you attempted to ignore him. "I didn't ask."

Silence fell between you. Frowning, you let out a defeated sigh.

"Y/N."

Much to Bucky's surprise, he hadn't expected you to respond much less give him some sort of acknowledgment of his presence.

"I sure hope you're not going soft on me, Y/N," Bucky spoke in a playful tone. You could hear the smile in his voice.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

As time passed, you couldn't concentrate on the show, but more so on the built man beside you. Your mind had convinced you that he was slowly but surely moving closer towards you.

Deciding you wanted to check, you turned to face him only to notice his thigh was millimeters from coming in contact with yours.

With widened eyes, you lifted Y/E/C eyes only to lock eyes with his ocean-colored ones.

"What?" He questioned attempting to be nonchalant about it. Bucky was well aware of what had gotten to you.

For once, you were at a loss for words. Opening and closing your mouth a few times you felt your mouth going dry. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, as you were overwhelmed by Bucky.

Your front door flew open, revealing a very inebriated Sharon and Steve. Both you and Bucky jumped away from one another as if you had been caught in the act of something intimate.

Jumping to his feet, Bucky turned to face you offering you his hand. Gazing at his covered hand then his features, you felt betrayed by yourself as you accepted his gesture allowing him to tug you to your feet.

Clearing your throat, you moved around the coffee table and assisted Sharon to the couch.

"I...I should get him home." Bucky spoke as he maneuvered Steve's arm across his shoulders allowing him to hold most of his friend's weight.

Humming in response, you crossed your arms along your chest nodding your head. As Bucky crossed the threshold into the hallway, he halted his movements.

"I had fun, not doing anything with you." He spoke grinning at you when he saw a pink dance along your cheeks.

Rolling your eyes you shook your head. "Goodnight, Bucky."

Shutting your door, you leaned against it as you let your head fall onto it with a soft thud. Butterflies had begun erupting in your stomach as heat rose along your features.

"Did someone thaw that ice-cold heart of yours?" Sharon questioned suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at you.

Groaning, you ignored her comment turning your attention back towards the show you were watching. Your mind clouded with thoughts of Bucky.

"Just so you know, Steve and I made plans for our next date," Sharon muttered as she closed her eyes, allowing slumber to overwhelm her.

Her confession did nothing to halt the butterflies in your stomach. Grinning to yourself, you couldn't stop yourself from the thought of seeing Bucky again.

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sadclearance · 3 years

Note

could u do male reader's been friends with todoroki from mha for since ua (they're newly pros now) and tells him ily and is like ik ur not good with that stuff tho so it's no big! i don't expect an ily back! and todoroki's like :O and doesn't say it back but later when reader's hurt during a mission todoroki's like oh dang i do love u but it's too late cuz he died

pairing: shoto todoroki x male!reader

summary: todoroki says "i love you" back eventually. it just happens to be too late.

category: angst

warning(s): death

word count: 1649

key:

s/t - skin tone

italicized - text

he's not sure how he got to this exact moment.

if you had told him at the beginning of his high school years that not even just a year after graduating, he'd be running around a deserted parking lot with the cold breeze of the night air nipping at the skin that wasn't covered by his pajamas--which happen to be from a two-years-old matching christmas set with the person he's trying to catch--todoroki would've looked at you as if you were a lunatic.

never in his wildest dreams could he ever imagine this.

but he thinks this is part of what being friends is, and back then, he never would've dreamt of having one of those either.

he doesn't notice the warm breath right next to his ear until a steady voices says, loud and clear, "i love you."

he turns his head so fast his face almost smacks into y/n's, and y/n laughs out visible puffs in the crisp air.

todoroki doesn't even speak. he just stares with wide eyes, not knowing what to do.

this is all just too new to him, and this came out of absolutely nowhere.

"glad that got your attention," y/n smiles when the silence continues. "you were so lost in your thoughts you just stopped moving. i was starting to think you didn't want your phone back."

todoroki now remembers the reason why he was chasing his best friend of four years around an empty parking lot at this ungodly hour, where half of his body was uncomfortably cold.

he does want his phone back, but he doesn't go back to running.

"was that why you said that?" todoroki eventually asks. was it only for the surprise factor? because if so, he's both relieved and disappointed--two things that he recognizes as contradictory and doesn't understand. well, todoroki's never been too good at understanding feelings, so that's not really news.

"nope," y/n answers without skipping a beat, and if todoroki didn't know better, he'd think y/n wasn't nervous at all. the s/t fingers playing with the edge of todoroki's phone case lets him know otherwise. "don't take it too seriously, though. i get it."

get what?

that answer doesn't make todoroki happy at all. now his brain's just muddled and confused, and he can barely process his surroundings. what's he supposed to make of that interaction? don't take it too seriously? he gets it?

when y/n's ran a lap or two without todoroki making a move to get his phone back, he lies down on the floor.

todoroki settles on "you're going to get dirty" because he wants to get back to the present. his head hurts, and thinking isn't getting him anywhere right now.

"come look at the stars with me," y/n reaches his hand up toward the skies, and he looks ridiculous, but todoroki complies because he wants to enjoy the time they have together for as long as he can. they won't have time to see each other for a while, being busy growing heroes and all.

"is this considered stargazing?"

"we're gazing at the stars, so yeah, i'd say so," y/n jokes.

and now todoroki's out of things to say that aren't questions about y/n's confession.

y/n turns his head to look at todoroki, and todoroki instinctively does the same.

"you're taking that thing i told you not to take seriously seriously, aren't you?"

"i'm having trouble understanding everything you've said in the past few minutes," todoroki admits, turning his head back to face the stars again.

"okay, well, i love you," y/n says.

"you've said that, but--"

"but i don't want you to take it seriously because i get it."

"again, you've said that in almost those exact words." todoroki feels like a frustrated child who's getting cranky over a math problem he doesn't know how to solve.

"i love you in the way that i want to kiss you and go on dates with you and maybe do more stuff," y/n's face reddens at his own words, but his voice is firm.

todoroki's eyes go back to y/n's, and he opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

"i know you don't see me that way, and it's all good. i didn't expect anything in return. i just wanted to say it."

"i... i wish i could give you a response, but... you already know that..." todoroki struggles with his words. were these the right ones to say? which are supposed to come out next?

"that you're not good with people stuff. yeah, i remember the first year of me trying to court you into this friendship," y/n laughs.

todoroki wants to laugh while reminiscing the memories too, but he doesn't feel like doing so, especially with how he's pretty sure he just rejected his best friend.

"i told you, no expectations here. just wanted to get that off my chest." y/n rises from the floor and todoroki's eyes follow. "c'mon, we should get going. it's cold, and our schedules are packed for the week. we can't afford to be getting sick."

"yes, it is late," todoroki nods and gets up as well.

the car beeps to signal that the doors are open, and todoroki's about to get into the driver's seat when he sees y/n walking off somewhere else.

"y/n?" todoroki calls out.

"i'm gonna take the bus," y/n answers before todoroki even asks.

"they aren't running at this hour."

"my place is close. i'm gonna walk."

"but--"

"text me if your schedule clears at all!" y/n waves without turning around to face todoroki.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

it's been a week, and todoroki still feels the pressure of having to give a proper response.

y/n said it was fine, but even someone with as little experience with these types of things as todoroki recognizes that it's not kind.

i haven't thought about--

i've never kissed anyone--

human relationships--familial, romantic, platonic, and otherwise are all things that are new to me--

no matter what he types, he feels like the words are all wrong. what's in his drafts are all things that y/n already knows. that's why he said he "gets it".

but todoroki's still so frustrated. he wants to respond properly. he feels like it's only right.

but holy shit is it hard to come up with anything at all.

before he can come up with another poorly worded apology, excuse--whatever it is that he's trying to say--he gets a notification.

assistance required in x prefecture. requesting all available heroes.

todoroki, being the good hero he is, rushes to the sight as soon as possible.

he recognizes the name of the location, but he brushes it off as past experience. after all, within the past year, due to his rising popularity, he's had a lot of opportunities to work in different places.

"what's the situation?" todoroki asks one of the heroes that's trying to stabilize the building that the villain appeared to be in.

"one guy with a geokinesis quirk. he's alone, but his quirk's pretty strong. took out the whole village one town over. we don't know his goal, but the whole building's stone, and we don't want to take any chances."

"is there any way you would like me to help?"

"i'd say ice the whole building, but this guy's got quick reflexes. try going in discretely and trap him in ice when he's caught in surprise."

todoroki nods and is about to enter the building when

"also, try not to ice the other hero in there. i think his name's y/--"

the building crumbles at an incredible speed, and he barely has time to throw both himself and the other hero out of the way.

once the other man is stable, todoroki goes to assess the damage. the rocks are still tumbling down, but they're slower now.

they feel a lot faster when todoroki catches a glimpse of an all too familiar hero costume.

"y/n!" todoroki shouts as he loses the ability to think rationally. he runs with his heart in his throat and a terrible tense feeling that starts to overwhelm his entire body, trying to reach y/n before the large boulder does.

ice spreads from his feet and meets with the chunk of stone before it can fall on y/n's head.

"i'm going to get you out of here," todoroki promises when he makes it to y/n. he calls for help while looking over the pieces of the building on top of y/n's body.

"todoroki," y/n coughs weakly, and todoroki notices a pool of red slowly start to grow on the concrete below them.

"don't talk." todoroki's voice sounds so weak and helpless, and he hates it.

y/n just smiles, but the blood dripping from the corners of his mouth keep it from spreading warmth and happiness within todoroki like it usually does.

todoroki's already seen lots of tragedy in his one year of hero work, but he's never felt so panicked in his entire life.

he tries to shift a rock, but it only makes y/n groan.

"help!" todoroki yells again, but everyone's too preoccupied with catching the villain and tending to their own serious injuries to come and rescue y/n.

"shhh, todoroki," y/n says weakly.

"don't talk!" todoroki yells this time. it's still helpless, but it's loud, and y/n starts to laugh to the best of his ability.

"hard when... when you're just so funny. that's why... i..."

"don't close your eyes." todoroki feels like his heart's stopped.

"i..." y/n's eyes droop.

"look at me!" todoroki shouts with wild eyes.

and so he does. y/n looks at him with tired eyes, but todoroki can tell that he's straining himself to do so.

"i love you," todoroki's eyes feel heavy and his nose burns. "please... i love you, too..."

but it's too late.

the open eyes are quick to lose their life, and y/n's skin loses its color.

"i love you."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

deadass i was listening to my discover weekly on spotify and when i was writing the last few sentences i love you by wavves came on

i didn't know what to title it so i just left it

i hope it was satisfactory anon!

#todoroki shōto #shouto todoroki #x male reader #todoroki shoto x male reader #male reader insert #bnha x male reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mlm

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babygirlkiki1016 · 3 years

Text

Masterlist

Prologue

Chapter 1: The Company

"Do you have to leave?" Lani asked as she handed me my bag, she was always the nervous one.

"Yes, it's important. Take care of things while I'm gone, I have faith in you Lani. I'll be back before you know it." Lani was like a younger sister to me, the one always hiding behind the older one. While I was going to be missing, I put her in charge of the kingdom. She knew how everything worked, she was always there next to me when I was taking care of business anyhow. Of course, after a few days of traveling to the shire I wanted to turn back to see if she was alright, but I knew I had to keep going. And eventually, I stood in front of the green door with a dwarven letter carved into it. Taking a deep breath I knocked, and the voices I had heard went quiet. It's just a bunch of dwarves, nothing to be worried about. The door opened to reveal a hobbit, not as tall as me but he was up to my shoulders.

"Uh, c-come in." He steps to the side, and I walked forward, they must've been expecting me. Setting my bag down by the front door, I took in everything. It was small and cozy, I wish my home looked like this. Continuing on I came across the thirteen dwarves Gandalf had mentioned.

"This is Y/n Y/l/n, I believed she could be a wonderful asset to our quest." The raven-haired man couldn't keep his eyes off me, it was like he was dazed, now that I think about it every dwarf's gaze was still on me. Including a young man about my height, maybe even taller. I smirked, hello handsome, my cheeks burned a shade of crimson as I realized my thought process. Gandalf nudged the man to get his attention, and he snaps out of his trance.

"My name is Thorin Oakenshield, it is a pleasure to meet you, my lady." He bowed his head slightly, giving me a small smile.

"You won't be saying that in a few seconds," I muttered, Gandalf swallowed nervously as he said his next words carefully.

"I should mention, that Y/n is also...The Queen of The Digonisks. The Soul Of The Black Dragon." Everyone's eyes widened, but no one said a word except the blond man in the back.

"What's a Digonisk?"

"There dragons, and murderers." Thorin glared at me with a fire in those blue orbs. I just rolled my eyes, of course, that's what he thought of me. Yet how could we be the murderers when their kind slaughtered mine? "I want her out, that filth cannot come on this quest with us."

"'That filth' has a name you know, and for your information, it's not really up to you now is it?" I exclaimed, he went to protest but Gandalf held out his hand to silence him.

"She can help us Thorin, she has the ability to take down Smaug. She might be the only one who can."

"I don't care." He abruptly stood, not even a foot away from me. "Leave, or I'll strike you down where you stand." Silently, I conjured a dagger and placed right against his side making him gasp.

"You'll be dead before you can even draw your sword, you should be thankful I came to help. I could've easily said no and let karma continue it's pace. Especially after what your kin did to us, you took my home, killed my people! Your no better than Smaug himself. Now sit." I forced him back into his chair, his hand gripped tightly on his blade. He wants to play does he? Bring it on.

"Enough!" Gandalf stood, making the room fill with darkness. "I brought her along, and so she shall stay, if you try to lay a hand on her I won't hesitate to lay one on you." He was furious, but as he sat back down the room turned back to normal. Each dwarf was scowling at me, except the two in the back. Right, they don't know the history between us.

"It was nice meeting you, your majesty." I bowed, and turned back towards the door. "I'll be outside, tell me when we're leaving."

"Wait! You haven't even heard about-" Gandalf stands but I raise my hand, silencing him. "At least stay and listen." I stopped, I already new of their quest, there was no reason for me to be in this room. And none of them probably didn't want me to stay anyhow.

"You can sit by us." The man in the back offered, patting the seat next to him with a smile. The other's hissed at him but he ignored their comments, making my way to the end of the table, I sit between him and the blond. Both were slightly blushing, and staring at me with those beautiful eyes though trying to make it less obvious. Thorin continues to eat his stew, making very little eye-contact with me.

"Perhaps we could do introductions? I still only know two of the people in this room."

"Right, that would be best." Gandalf agreed, and he pointed to each individual as he named them off. "Here you have Thorin, the leader of our company. Bofur, with his brothers Bomber and Bifur, then Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, Oin, Dori, Nori and Ori. Then last but not least the two next to you, Kili and Fili." None of them seemed happy, if looks could kill I would've been dead the moment Gandalf mentioned what I was. When Gandalf named off Kili, he winked at me while slightly smirking. I winked back making him look away embarrassed, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked, looking over at his king, who nods.

"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin asked, Thorin hesitated as he stated his answer.

"They will not come." The other dwarves become visibly upset, I decided that this might take awhile. So I played with the little flame that came from my finger, it didn't burn me for I was immune to fire. I was in my own mind, my own little world while humming a melody.

"Can she please leave?" I heard Thorin whisper, leaning closer to the wizard. "She does not belong here." Gandalf knew nothing would get done if I stayed, so he gives me a pleading look. Happily I left the table, and headed back outside, it felt nice out here. Sitting on the pavement I watched the stars, they were a lot farther away now. My kingdom was high up in the sky, higher than the mountain of Erebor. It's far above the clouds where no eye can see, Gandalf made it that way with the help of my mother's grimoire. He made what's called a floating island, only digonisks and wizards can enter. I heard the hobbit door open, and out came Kili with a bowl of food.

"Here." Kili smiled handing me a bowl of stew. "I thought you would be hungry, so I brought you some stew."

"I'm not eating that, especially not from a dwarf." He slowly brought it back to himself, he seemed upset for some reason.

"It's not poisoned if that's what your worried about." He muttered, sitting down next to me. "Here I can test taste it." He quickly took a bite, showing that it wasn't fatal. He handed it back to me with a look of hope.

"Thank you." I took it from him, and hesitantly took my first bite. It tasted delicious, even my people didn't have soup made like this. "Did you make this yourself?"

"Ah no, Bombur made it, mostly for us but I figured you were hungry." Well at least he had some manners, he's certainly more nicer than Thorin. "Don't worry about my uncle, he just, he told me why he hates your kind. Even though that happened, you weren't the one doing the killing."

"Of course he's already spreading rumours." Kili glanced over at me with curiosity. "How about you hear my side of the story. Believe which ever one you want, it won't matter." Cause soon my people will be set free, and each and everyone of you will be filled with guilt. "My kin aren't killers, the village of Hargen had been over run by orcs. We were the first ones to respond to the crisis, and we had driven out the enemy. Yet when the dwarves showed up, Thror believed it to be us who slaughtered them. That wasn't the case, blinded by rage he started rumours about us, saying we weren't peaceful and that we were murders. There already had been rumours, but that was mostly because Digonisks are extremely powerful. The people of Middle Earth knew that if we tried, we could over power them. When they started making rumours, they thought that we would go hide in the shadows. Yet we stilled stayed strong, and when that wasn't enough..." A single tear slipped down my cheek, the horror that occurred in that building was enough to make someone insane. I quickly wiped it away, I can't let him see me weak. "...The dwarves became the true monsters, them and mankind had invited us to the grand ball. I was only a child then, but I remember I was so excited to see the tiny men that roamed our world. Most of us had showed up, and when the doors closed the explosions started."

"...I'm sorry you went through that, but if you hate dwarves so much. Why come and help us?"

"There is something in that mountain that proves my kin is innocent. Reports from Thror himself about what really happened that day. And I intend to find it, so my people can be free once again. That's the main reason why Gandalf brought me here, he showed me a letter from Thrain. Explaining where to find the reports." He looked back to sky, wondering what to say next. I continued to eat my stew, and once I was finished he offered to take the bowl from me.

"Come back inside, surely if you explain to my uncle what's in that mountain he won't hate you as much." I hadn't thought of that, but what if he decides to go burn the papers before I get there? Though he seemed like a respectful man, and if we are going to be working together on this journey then he has to see me as an ally.

"Alright, might as well give it a try." He smiled and grabbed my hand dragging me along with him. "K-Kili wait!" He seemed more excited than I, as we passed each dwarf grimaced at the sight of me.

"Uncle!" Kili exclaimed catching Thorin's attention, he immediately separated our hands. Stepping infront of his nephew he pulled out his sword, pointing it at my neck.

"I suggest you put that thing away, wouldn't want a wizard and a Digonisk fighting you now do you? I have come to show you something, it might make this trip a whole lot easier." He didn't budge, reaching into my cloak I pulled out the same scroll Gandalf had brought me. Thorin slowly took it from my hands and undid the ribbon, his eyes widened in shock at his father's handwriting.

"How did you get this?" He looked back to me, he had hope that his father was alive.

"Gandalf gave it to me, it's the main reason I'm here." Thorin seemed to be more at ease with me in the room now. Did he actually believe his father's words?

"What does is say Thorin?" Balin asked coming closer, Thorin couldn't believe his eyes. Gradually he handed the scroll back to me, and all I saw was remorse in those blue orbs.

"It was written by my father, he says that in my grandfathers room the truth about her kind remain. The real reports about what happened that day in Hargen, if this is true then..." He couldn't finish his sentence, a thousand emotions appeared at once.

"This doesn't mean anything, it could be a lie. Those reports could show something different, but we still don't know if the evidence lies in the mountain." Dwalin interrupted, making the furious look on Thorin's face return. Well so much for that, Gandalf sighs in disappointment. Even he had hope that Thorin would be reasonable, I went to head back outside but Thorin grabs my arm.

"If your coming with us, then you have to sign the contract. I won't be responsible for your death, nor do I feel like dealing with a bunch of angry dragon slayers." Balin, kindly handed me a piece of paper, inside read the rules and what not. They would not be responsible for anything that happens to me, which was fine but if I were to die who would set my people free?

"I want to add something to this, if I am to go on this journey and I die. You must set my people free, get the reports from your grandfather's room and show everyone that my people are innocent. That is all I ask." He seemed shocked at my request, although I didn't want to trust him with this kind of task it was the only way my people would be safe after I'm gone.

"Get me a pen." He grumbled, using my magic I summoned an ethereal white feather. He watched as I wrote down my terms and signed it, then when I handed him the pen he couldn't help but stare at it. It glowed brightly in his hand, never had he seen something like this. After examining it he signed his name on the line, then handed the pen to Balin who signed it as a witness.

"Welcome, Queen Y/n to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." He smiled, that made me feel somewhat welcome. At least he has manners like Thorin's nephew, maybe all dwarves aren't so bad.

"Your welcome to stay inside, get as much sleep as you can. You'll need it for the journey ahead, I have a feeling we're going to be needing those wings of yours." Gandalf suggested but Kili and Fili perked up at his comment.

"Wings? She has wings?" Kili asked coming closer, taking off my cloak I spread them. "I didn't even realize the you could fly!"

"They look a lot smaller when folded, but yes I have wings. There easy to hide under a robe, and not very noticeable." He reached over to touch them, I flinched slightly as his fingers ran over the scales.

"May I?" Thorin asked with a light blush on his face, how could the king under the mountain have rosy cheeks? I nodded, watching him cautiously as he ran his hand over my skin. He let out a small smile as he stretched them farther to get a better look. "They're huge, how could they be so small when tucked away?" He muttered, but when he realized he was getting a little into this he stepped back. That stern look returning to his features. "Get some sleep." That was the last thing he said before walking away, at least he's somewhat warming up to me. I settled in the corner of the hobbit's house away from everyone else, surrounding myself with my wings to keep me warm. After a few minutes of silence, I heard voices again except this time it was the dwarves singing a song. "Far over the Misty Mountains cold. To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away ere break of day. To find our long-forgotten gold." Thorin's voice was most audible, and for some reason, it soothed me.

"The pines were roaring on the height, the winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light." I sang along, which made the dwarves silent. The song wasn't unknown to me, everyone outside of the shire knew the story of Erebor. After a moment they sang along after I joined, but softer than before. Maybe because they loved my voice? Or maybe my voice soothed Thorin and he wanted to hear more, as he reassured me.

@fili-is-my-lover @lunariasilver @kirenia15

#the hobbit kili #kili imagine #fili x oc #fili and kili #thorin x reader #thorin oakenshield smut #gandalf #the company #bilbo x reader #the hobbit x reader

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