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izukus-sugar-baby · 3 years

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Checked out!

WARNINGS: fluff-ish, eventually will be smut, mentions of getting sick twice

word count: 2k

Heres my first writing for tumblr! Hope you all like it!

Part Two, Part Three.

"Hey Miss!!" You peered down at the smaller voice, simultaneously feeling a book slip from your hand and onto the ground. The bookshelf was at least 5 rows high, and you had been standing as far as you needed to reach the top. You were dusting off and replacing the books on the shelf, which... hadn’t been so pleasant with children running around before their daily read. Regardless, you had a job to do. It wasn't gonna stop for a ton of kids. You had been rearranging the books in alphabetical order before the kid startled you. Thank god it didn’t fall on their head.

"Are you gonna read to us today? Or is Miss Maggie?" The kid didn't look over six years old, blue eyes and long brown hair with freckles littering her face in a wonderful way. She wore a small dress full of sunflowers with bright pink shoes on her feet. She had been here before... Although, her name wasn’t ringing a bell.

"I wanted to read one of those pigeon stories you read us last time!" You let out a sigh of relief that the book didn't smack the kid on top of her head prior to climbing down to the ground and leaning down be eye-level with her.

"Pigeon stories?" You've read dozens of books about dozens of creatures and characters. What on earth would relate to a.. pigeon? Leaning down a bit farther to snatch up the book you had dropped, she pushed another book into your arms. The title read The Pigeon Needs A Bath!

"This book is pretty thin, You sure you want me to read just this one book, sweetheart?" You stood up straight, handing the girl the book back before cocking your hip to the side and placing your hand onto it.

"Me and Emmie can go find some more!" She hurried off to find her.. friend? Knowing it had been a child, it could be a stuffed animal! But she sure did leave too quickly to ask any questions about it. You sighed, climbing back up to finish your organizing. Thank goodness I’m already close to being done. You thought to yourself, dusting top to bottom and moving onto the 4th row. Their reading wasn't for another.. what? 20 minutes? You had time to knock out another shelf. Time flew by as you finished the 4th row. It was already time to read.

"I have to stop by Goodwill and get some more books. I also gotta stop at the post office and some.. other errands? You got this reading?" The owner of the store, Maggie, looked over to make sure she had gotten your attention before naming off a few things that needed done in the shop before you closed up shop.

"Yeah! What time will you be back?" You climbed down the last step of the ladder, patting off the dust from the bookcase that had gotten on your apron. It was some cutesy hello kitty apron you wore so the dust wouldn't ruin your clothing but it really just made it look like it was some mini cafe. None the less, you wore it.

"I'll be back in time for that uh, Pro hero guy. I don't know- my wife wrote him in. Ask and she'll tell you!" You weren't too involved with all that hero bullshit, the whole who can save more lives?! You get the most money AND an award. The system in itself was ass and it wouldn't make a difference in your everyday life for one of those snobby people to stop by. You walked around the shelves, watching Maggie leave as you sat down on a small rounded couch. A small chime rang through the shop as it called the children over for their reading, a few already sitting and ready to hear you.

It wasn't a big library, it seemed like a corner store had gotten torn down and then completely renovated into a library for children. The second floor had been where the owner and her wife stayed. It was a cozy little place where about 8-12 kiddos would visit for a read. There were bookshelves in the walls for more book space and 5 separate shelves more towards the middle of the place. They held less books than the ones on the wall. Only two of the five reached over 3ft. Parents would come in just to rent a few books. But more often than not, the owner would go out hunting for new books for everyone to enjoy. Along with cute little toys and those foam floor mats to sit on. All of the children in the shop had sat right in front of you, including the girl from earlier who held 4 books in her hands. A few other kids held thin picture books in their hands as well, but only having 15 minutes to read to them, it might be hard to get around to all of them.

“Alright, Who's first?" You asked, smiling down at them. Every single child raised their hand, some even raising both so your attention was on them. Of course this wasn't going to be easy. You thought to yourself as you put a hand over your eyes, pointing to some random kid. He held a small book, standing up slowly and handing it to you.

"My mom reads me this sometimes.." Poor boy was only about 5, and seemed pretty shy. You gave him a reassuring smile before he went back to his seat. You began to read and in no time at all you finished reading the few books children selected. Thank god it was a Friday, Most children would be picked up right after the reading for afternoon preschool etc. But it seemed like no one wanted to leave. Was it that hero Maggie had mentioned? You sighed, hopping up and heading to the check out desk where you saw a few children wanting to check out their books you previously read to them. You leaned down over the desk to reach for the book, scanning it and doing so for each person. The store bell jingled, as if the creak of the door didn't give away someone walking in.

"Welcome to 'Children's Magical Bookshop,' You paid the person no mind as you spoke, handing the last child their book and letting your gaze fall upon the... very tall man in front of you. Noise filled the small shop, children running up to him screaming-

"Deku!" As loud as their little lungs could. He gave a flashy smile, leaning down to hug the children that ran straight for his legs. He laughed and lifted a few of them in his.. very strong arms. Was it hot in the bookshop? Was the AC fucked up? You force your eyes from the tall man.. Was he looking at you too? Your mind screamed at you to introduce yourself, Quickly walking towards a shelf to do something. Anything bust stand there and gawk at him.

"Are you Maggie?" There were hopping children behind him, playing with his gloves and such as you turned to him.

"No- I'm y/n. Are you that.. pro? She had been talking about.?" You huffed through your nose, turning to him. He extended a hand, nodding with a cheesy grin on his face as soon as you had taken his hand into yours. It wasn’t like you never saw him on the news, but you sure did skip the channel as soon as it was some bullshit hero chart over who had been number one. He was so much hotter in person..

"Yes! I'm sorry I'm a bit early, I finished patrol sooner than I thought! I hope I'm not interrupting anything? The woman on the phone said before six, I told her I was sure I could make it around five!" His eyes traveled to your lips for a moment, listening to you speak back to him.

“You’re fine, There’s plenty of time for you to hang out and sign all of their t-shirts and such. Make yourself at home big man. You can sit in the reading area,” The kids dragged him to where you were just moments ago.. But he couldn't get you to leave his mind. You were beautiful. He needed to make you his.

The poor hero stayed until about six o’clock to talk to you, since all of the kids finally left to go do their summer homework or whatever they had to do. Deku had been leaning over the counter for almost an extra hour to make some conversation with you, he just couldn’t help himself. You cant blame him either! You had this smile that he couldn’t resist. And quite frankly, he wasn’t used to this feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He fought some shit villain every day! What's a few butterflies? Especially as pretty as you. Why wouldn't he want to stick around?

“I really didn’t think it would be so chill this week! It feels like I've done nothing but catch up on papers!” Izuku scratched his neck with his index finger, shaking his head lightly. “I guess I really am doing a good job!- Of course other pros are doing their jobs as well!” He let out a relieved chuckle, looking at you with a big, sincere, smile on his face. “How has work here been? It must be so nice working with so many children!”

You feel your eyes involuntarily roll, shaking your head and leaning against the wall behind you. “It’s nice until some kid gets sick on themselves and their mother isn’t here to help. We have extra clothing in the back because it’s happened more than once.” You groaned as your eyes trailed to the door leading to lost n found, clothes, and other things. You had an unamused look on your face talking about it. He noticed and let his eyes follow yours until feeling your eyes rest upon him once more. Maybe texting would let you come around to him a bit more? Were you bored?

“Yikes- I’ve seen adults get sick after villains show up. But I probably should head back to my agency.” He looked out of the store window before right back to those beautiful e/c eyes of yours. “Do you have a number I can text? I would love to talk to you more y/n..!” He was already prepared for rejection. It was kinda weird to be hitting on you after dealing with kids wasn’t it? Maybe he should take it back. Was he coming off as some sleazy ass hero?

Your eyes widened in the slightest- Enough for him to notice. “Sure, Let me see your phone,” You stepped closer to the counter, seeing him fumble on the pouch of his belt before unlocking and giving you his phone. You went to his contacts, making yourself one of them and handing it right back to him. He had an even bigger, cheesier, grin on his face after he took it back.

“Thank you, y/n!” He bowed his head before quickly leaving out to his agency. Finally, you could go home as well. Not that he was a problem, but that man sure could talk. It was endearing. Maybe I can put enough of those stutters in mind tonight. You joked to yourself, grabbing your keys and walking out to lock up the small bookshop. There was no doubt that you were attracted to him. Every woman in America and Japan was attracted to him in some way.

You let out a small sigh, driving home and turning your radio up until hearing your phone ding. You glanced over at the screen to see an unknown number texting. Assuming it was Deku, you waited until you were home to answer him. By the time you had texted him back, he was quick to reply. You two made plans to hang out soon and have dinner together. You talked for hours until one of you had fallen asleep. He was ecstatic. You really enjoyed his company.

taglist: @tenyaiidasslut @hi-rubi @devilsbooksworld @flamingpastapotatoes @arleneeene @blacklotussai @akam4recs @prinvilmain

a/n: I fucking hate tumblr KWJCHDH ive had to re-write this more than once because they changed the layout if the save and post. Its not my best work and was mostly edited on here instead of Google docs. Learn to edit the first version first i guess 💀 The second part will be much better!

Please Reblog!!!!

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bangbangchanie · 3 years

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Maybe~Chan/ Changbin

Summary: When the love of your life died, falling again is paralyzing yet the person who's always been there makes it a maybe.

Paring: Reader x Chan(Past)/ Reader x Changbin

Warning: Character death, like angst really angst. Fluff

Word Count: 3.2K

AN: Admin Winnie here! Finally reposting this after removing a certain someone. Its the same sad story just with Changbin:)

Arms were tightly wrapped around your waist as your eyes stared at the scene in front of you. Red and blue lights flashing in the dark night sky as smoke and a blaring ringing sound echoes through your ears. You didn't realize you were screaming, screaming out his name as you saw his mangled car. Your knees buckled as the EMT who was holding you fell with you.

“Christopher!” You sobbed. His eyes were watching you from the scene, his body moving across the road.

“Baby, are you okay?” He asks as he reaches mid way as you cry his name again. “Baby, Y/n I’m right in front of yo-” he was cut off from talking and walking when someone walked through him. Your cries grew distant as he looked at his chest, his eyes wide as he looked back to the car. His bleeding body was being dragged from the car, as CEPR was being performed. It felt surreal, watching his limp body move with someone’s pushed against his chest. He brought out his thoughts when your cry turned into a scream of pain. His eyes met your crumbling body, he moved to you. His hand reaching out to only have it pass through your face making you curse.

“I’m here, baby, right in front of you. I swear I’m not leaving, not now, not ever.” He whispered tears trailing down his face as you finally stopped screaming his name and just cried. “I’m still here.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Chris..Chris was the life of the party even if there wasn’t one.” Minho said as he shook his head a small smile lifted up on his lips, though his smile was painfully matched with swollen red bloodshot eyes. His cheeks puffy as you stood in all black in your shared apartment. “He did this thing where if it was too quiet he’d just start singing a random ass song and dancing. You know? He..he always tried to find the light in the dullest things, and he always…he always made me feel..us feel like we were…are bigger than this.” His eyes tailored to your hunched body, your eyes dull as you give him a small smile, tears trailing down your face as his mother grips your hand. Her sobs wracked her body as Minho looked at the glass in his hand. “Y/n..Mr. and Mrs. Bang..Chris…god he was a special man. I am so thankful you two gave him a life and a voice..and Y/n thank you for making him smile when no one else could…this is for you brother.” Chris was next to you and his mother, his eyes tearing up as he watched Minho turn around and let out a small sob as he walked away. Changbin stepped up, his skin pasty and his eyes just as bloodshot.

“We met in the second grade..he was new and had this accent that kids liked to make fun of. But he never saw it as a set back, and took it as a complement…he..fuck.” Changbin stopped speaking as he wiped his eyes. “I..I was told a month ago that he was..was looking for a ring.” He paused, making you stop breathing for a split second as you leaned closer to his mother, your heart clenching as Changbin looked at you. “I was told to prepare a speech as best man, that who I was to Chris and who he was to me. He was..and still is my brother. A man I want to scream at because he left us. He left me. With a speech, and no event to give it at. I wanted to give it here, but I can’t because it hurts too much. I’m so sorry Y/n..” Changbin coughs as he steps away as you wipe at your face. You take a shaky breath as you stand. His brother is clinging to your hand as Chris watches you, moving to stand to your blank side.

“Thank you all for coming..I know..I know Chris would scream at us all for crying like this.” Your words made his mother choke back a cry as his father rubbed her shoulder. “He didn't like it when the people he loved were upset, or cried. He didn’t enjoy not know-knowing how to fix..fix it all.” You breathed out as you messed with your black dress. “He loved with his whole heart…we all know that. He did..he did this weird habit that I still don’t understand and I was with him for four years..but where’d he grab the bottom of his shirt and spread it out in front of him when he was in deep thought.” His mother chuckled as she shook her head.

“He stretched every single one of his school shirts.” She said, making the room lightly laugh as you look at Changbin and Minho who clang to each other, their trio now turning into a duo.

“We love you Chris..I love you.” You whisper as you sit back down, people now talking among one another as you swear you feel a wetness drop on your shoulder where his head hangs over as he tries to imagine his arms around you.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Honestly fuck you Christopher Bang!” You scratched at the broken picture frame. Your eyes were full of tears as you looked out the window. People living their lives, unknowingly passing the house of a broken girl that had black running down her face and it pissed you off that they didn’t know.

His scent was still wrapped around you, around the four walls of the apartment you shared together. His clothes still hung up in the clothes, and tossed outside of a drawer. His pillow at the end of the bed and his shoes resting against the front door wall.

“I hate you so much!” Your voice cracked as you fell to the hardwood ground. His large sweater falls over your hands as you bring your knees to your chest and sob into them. “Yo-you just left, n-no good-goodbye n-no an-anything.” You cried tears falling down as you rocked back and forth. The pain in your chest was breaking you down, shattering against any idea of love you had any future you planned together. You swear you heard his voice making you perk up and look around, the shuffling of his pillow made you stand up and wipe your cheeks. “Chris?” You whispered as you watched the bed dip.

“Y/n?” Changbin called out as he slowly set the key he had been given when you and Christopher had moved in. He was the security blanket for you two, always making sure you were sleeping, and eating. Killed the bug for the both of you, and watched the place as you traveled. “Oh Y/n.” He whispered seeing you down the hall in the bedroom. He walked down as you keep your eyes locked on the pillow, a dip in the bed that wasn’t there before. Your heart stopped as an arm wrapped around your middle, making you blink, and the dip in the bed was gone. “Come on, let me make you some hot chocolate.” He whispered against your hair as he pulled away and took your hand. His own body was covered in one of Christopher’s jackets. His body moved throughout the kitchen. “A month down.” He whispers, making you sigh as you let out another sob as your head falls.

“I-i miss him so fucking much.” You sob, making Changbin stop moving as he turns and looks at you. “Th-this isn't fair, we-we were gonna move into a house.” You whisper, making Changbin face you his mouth parted at the new information. “My love, my hero ,my everything was ripped for me…and it’s all his fault.” You sob, making Woojin jump into your body, his arm tightly wrapped around you as your body shakes.

“It's gonna be okay…it's gonna get easier..I think.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“What the fuck did you do to our bed?!” You scream at Minho and Changbin who were standing in the living room talking.

“What do you mean? I mean I made it-ow!” Minho cried as you slapped him. Tears falling down your face as you glare at him.

“His pillow stays where it was, his blanket stays bunched up..I can't recreate it, because it won't be the damm same! You asshole!” You cry as you start to shake as Minho's eyes widen. Not realizing it hadn't made sense he last laid there.

“I did-didn't know.” Your body shook as Chan finally found a way to hug you without passing through you. His head nuzzles your neck making you cry harder.

“Im..I’m sorry.” You whisper, making Minho step forward and cup your cheek.

“It's okay.” Chris moves away and Minho and you share a group hug with Woojin.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Chris..I know this..this is weird.” You mumble as Chris sits next you on the bed, his hands reaching for your thigh as you let out a deep breath of air. “This is honestly crazy..but I just need you to know..what I said a few weeks ago..that it was your fault..it..it wasn't true..and when I screamed I hate you..it wasn't even close to the truth. Because…'cause you were..were the one and..I still need you here but you gone..and I took it personal…but death shouldn’t be personal.” You whisper, making him lightly smile as you take a deep breath. “I think..I think I’m gonna pack up some of your clothes.. give a few to your mom. They all smell like you.” You whisper as you reach for your phone and call up his mom for help.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Are you sure you're ready for this?” He asked as he watched you pack some of his shirts and pants for goodwill.

“Yeah..it's been nine months..I need to do this..it's not a lot..but..a start?” You mumble making Minho nod as he helps you empty one draw of his. “Okay..no more.”

“Progress.”

“Progress.” Giving each other a high five Chris chuckles as Minho misses making you laugh echo in return. Something Chris hasn’t heard in months.

Progress it was.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Binnie!” You laughed as Changbin spun you around your living room, his hand tickling your sides as Chris watched, a ping of jealousy hitting him. But he understood, watching you and his friends the past few months, the feeling for Changbin had grown for you and you him.

He wanted you two happy.

So he came up with a plan, his spirit moved through the walls as he grabbed your journal and opened up to your most recent entry. His eyes scan the words.

'I haven’t felt this way about someone since I first met Chris..and it feels wrong but so right at the same time. Changbin had made this feeling come up that I thought I’d never feel again. And it’s scary. I don't know if I can handle losing someone again.’

And then he knocks a picture frame down making a loud crash disrupt the two of you messing around. Changbin stood up straight as he placed you close to the couch and looked down the hall.

“Wait here."he mumbled walking into your bedroom, where he looked around till a picture frame that he glued together from the time you’d throw it across the room in a fit of anger, caught his eyes. It was a picture of Chris smiling, his eyes bright as your lips pressed against his cheek. It made Changbin smile as he saw the man he considered his brother, he hadn’t looked at a photo of him in a year, it felt good. It felt good seeing his face again, even if it would never be the same. It was still Christopher Bang smiling, and he swore he could hear the hum sound he made while you kissed his cheek.

As he moved it back where he remembered where he placed it after he fixed it. His eyes casted down and he saw your entry, and his heart began to speed up.

"She..she feels the same?” He whispered to himself, making Chris smile as he stood next to him and spoke.

“Of course she does, you make her happy.” Changbin jumped as he felt the vibrations of a voice he knew all too well in his head. “Can you hear me?” Chris said, making Changbin look around, and nod slightly.

“Bin? Is everything okay?” You ask walking into your room seeing the frame in his hand, his wide eyes stare at you.

“Uh..yeah.” he chokes as he runs his hand down his face. “Yeah..just this picture fell.” You humm as you move to stand next to him and stare at the two of you, tears gather in your eyes making Chris reach to wipe it away as he did so Changbin. He smiled at his friend as he watched the two of you stare at each other.

“Oh..shit.” you whisper seeing your entry that was open as you move fast to shut it. Already having an idea that he knew and now was ready to leave and never come back.“Did you..”

“Yeah. Yeah I did.”

“I think..I think you should go.” You whisper, making Changbin frown as he moves to rest and hand on your shoulder but you shrugged to get away from him. “Just..just leave..please.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Y/n, please call me back. We need to talk..please.” You listened to your voicemail again, Changbin pleas only made your heart break more.

“Dammit women, call him back!” Chris snaps as he watches you bite your lip. His favorite sweater wrapped around you, making his dead heart thud rapidly against his chest. Then his own voice travels through the air making his eyes widen. “Why do you do this to yourself, baby?”

“Hey baby, I just wanted to call to let you know I’ll be outside of the building waiting for you in five…I know I’m too late to change but I think my office attire will work for the date..I know you’ll look beautiful as usual..hence why you’re probably not answering me! But it's fine,I love you..I’ll see you in a bit.” You play another one, “Baby! Changbin just dropped off food, I swear he’d be a better boyfriend than me like how he is his single! Anyway I just wanted to call and say I love you, and have an amazing day at work!” As you went to play another you phone began to glitch due to Chris being the playfully smart ghost he is, and found a way to only play the part he wanted you to hear. “I love you, but it's fine you like Changbin.” It was choppy and wasn’t even a proper sentence but it made you throw your phone onto the bed as you stare at it. It played again, and again as Chris watched your eyes widen.

“Christopher Bang I swear if this you are coming to haunt my ass I’ll find a way to bring you back and kill you again!” You whisper, making him chuckle, your eyes snap to the empty spot in front of you, where he sat. “I..I finally broke didn’t I..cause I did..I did not just hear that laugh.” You whimper, making him frown as he looks at you. “I’ve missed that laugh.” You breathe out making him giggle, a smile lifting on your cheeks as your phone rings pulling you out of your thoughts.

Binnie is calling.

“Pick it up.” Chris said, making you roll your lip as you hear the very faint vibrations, like he was talking while you rested your head on his chest.

“Hello?” You answer by making Woojin let out a breath as he begins to speak but you cut him off. “I..I like you.”

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“I haven’t been here since the funeral.” You whisper walking hand and hand with Changbin, followers and balloons in hand as Chris' family walks in front of you. It was his birthday today. You somehow had gotten through the first one, tears and snot but this one..this one was easier in a way. Chris trailed next to the two of you as he watched you closely, the twinkle in your eye was back, Changbin's smile was bigger than ever.

Soon you reached his tombstone, bending down your smile, “Hi baby.” You whisper as Chris sits next to his name, you sit on the grass as his family sits on the bench next to his grave. Changbin sits behind you, over the last few months Chris' family has fully supported you two with the love that was twining the two of you. You place the flowers next to his name and lean against Changbin. “Happy birthday weirdo.” You mumble, making Changbin laugh as Minho arrives, his body moving to sit next to the two of you as he hits a card in his hand. “What’s that Min?” You ask.

“I….just a letter to my brother.” Minho says, making you nod as he places it next to your flowers, Chris smiles at his friends and family.

“What do you think he's doing right now?”

“About to fight Changbin.” Minho says with a smile, making Chris' mother laugh as she shakes her head.

“Idiot.” Changbin said, hitting his shoulder as he laughed and nuzzled his face into your shoulder.

“I..I hope he’s happy wherever he is. I hope he is at peace and that…that he isn’t actually haunting me.” You laugh, making Chris follow as Changbin nods and Minho and his family giggle. “I mean he said, if he ever died he’d haunt me so I’m wondering if it’s happening.” You said wiping the tear that fell down your cheek.

“I wonder if he can finally sit in peace and enjoy the quiet sunsets.” Minho mumbles, making the three of you look at eachother and break out in laughter.

“As if.” Changbin laughs as you place your head into his collarbone.

“I just want him to be happy.”

“I am happy..I think..I think I can leave now.” Chris mumbles to himself, another Ghost at the tree waiting with a smile on his face, freckles covering his cheeks as his fringe falls over his eyes.“I..I can let go now. Baby..baby I ..I love you so much. I know you won't hear this, I know you won’t..but I just..I just love you so much. I’m so happy you’re happy. Thank you for the birthday wishes…I love you guys.” He stood up and walked to the tree, the unknown ghost smiled and clapped him on the back.

“Are you ready for the fun part kid?” He asks, making Chris look at him with wide eyes.

“Will..will I see them again?” His question made the unknown ghost chuckle as he laughed.

“Ah you kids, never truly know what’s out there for us…you’ll see them whenever they visit here. You’ll get like a ring in your head, and any gift they leave for you you’ll be able to pick up and keep it.”

“What’s your name?��

“Felix, died 1976, leukemia at 17….you?”

“Christopher…died in 2020, in a car crash at 23.”

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greatteachergojou · 3 years

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The burden of being the strongest

-> on why Gojo won’t be settling down and why he’s such a child

I’ve been seeing ppl commenting on Gojo being a player and all (based on the character infomations from the fanbook) and it prompted me to write a little brief character analysis on Gojo regarding this matter and also kinda trailed off to a topic that I’ve been meaning to talk about because I get the impression that Gojo is often only perceived as the goofy op madlad who is above everyone and everything - which is also true but there’s also more behind those prominent character traits of his.

!!! Beware of SPOILERS if you’re not caught up to the manga!!! (nothing too specific tho)

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So... Gojo Satoru is a player. Gege Akutami has stated that he wears sunglasses when he meets up with them ladies (I think it was in some Q&A if I remember correctly) and in the fanbook he said he can’t picture Gojo being faithful to any specific woman. - Not too surprising if you look at his surface level behaviour/personality. That said, there’s more to it than him being a player just for the sake of it.

Remember that being a jujutsu sorcerer is a high risk job - except for Gojo... since he’s the strongest even the chances of him getting injured is basically zero. But he has seen too many friends and colleagues hurt/loose their lives. You might just die on any random easy mission if you’re not Gojo. It’s not a coincidence that seemingly most sorcerers are not married or anything like that. This job is shit (Nanamin, you’re absolutely right). Choosing this job basically means giving up a normal orderly life in exchange for a life full of uncertainties and dangers. If you’re the type to care for your family it’s probably best not to start one in the first place to spare them from tragedy. As harsh as it sounds, it’s easier to put your life on the line when you don’t have to worry about your other half waiting for you to return home. I think the only ones that would really care to get married and have kids are those from the big sorcerer families because they need to continue their bloodline. And I feel tempted to assume that they don’t care in particular about how their family members feel...

Now, the Gojo clan is one of the big three. It’d normally mean Satoru has the duty to continue his bloodline. He could leave this to other clan members though (assuming he’s not the only member of the Gojo family left). But since he is the holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless and he’s the head of his family, there’d be no way around him getting a wife at some point and have some babies. But we know he’s not about those traditions and very much disdains the inner workings of the clans. And since he’s the head of his family and the strongest, I guess no one can force him to anything anyways.

Gojo is a massive troll and most folks just find him super annoying and too aloof. But that’s just the side of him that he chooses to display in most situations. It’s not like a goofy character doesn’t have a serious side. It’s not like the strongest character never hurts. Because of his immense power and his nonchalant behaviour one tend to forget that in the end of the day he’s still just a human. I don’t mean that he might be a depressed character deep down though. Rather, I think he’s an innately optimistic person. It’s just that he surely has some sadness in him that he hides away. I think he is just the typ of character who, while he’s indeed a joyful person, also conveniently uses this side of his to mask the more heavier things that are on his mind. And he deliberately chooses not to let people get too close to him because that will prevent him from getting hurt - which btw perfectly fits his infinity cursed technique...

He understands that being the strongest is far from meaning that he can protect everyone. God knows how many friends he’s already lost and while people around him are dying left and right, he’ll surely remain the last man standing. That’s really sad if you think about it. While he himself might be untouchable, you can get to him through threatening others that he cares about like for example his students. And that is a potential weak point for someone who’s supposed to be invincible. The strongest sorcerer being vulnerable? How outrageous, that can’t be allowed, right? Imagine he’d let himself get attached and have a family to care for. He just can’t protect them all the time and he has many enemies on top of that.

Also, right now his ultimate goal is to fundamentally change this world they live in. It’s a huuuge task to tackle (and probably something only he can do). His mind is occupied by this goal which requires him to train as many future talents as possible. When he says he’s busy he always says it in a joking manner but he really is super busy with his general duties of being the strongest and with his ambitious vision (the fanbook also states that he doesn’t sleep much. my poor manchild. how come he still looks like he’s only 18? that’s not fair. i mean, have you seen nanami and ijichi?) Long story short, he also just doesn’t seem too interested in anything else atm. And honestly, who knows if he’ll survive until the very end of the story...

So on first glance it seems like being the strongest comes with benefits only. But actually, it’s lonely up there at the very top. And with great power comes great responsibility. I think he really started to understand that after the whole deal with Riko. It’s when he suffered a devastating defeat that he started to understand what it means to be the strongest and it’s when Getou fundamentally changed that he started to form a clear vision of what he wants to do and what he can do with his power.

We don’t know much of Gojo‘s upbringing yet. But I think it’s save to assume that born as the absolute strongest already had a lot of burden placed on him basically from the moment he was born. So since his earliest childhood he needed to deal with the immensely high expectations from his family and the sorcerer world in general as well as dealing with the many folks who’d maybe try to get rid of the kid while he’s still just a child. I don’t think it makes for a happy childhood. From the top of my head I can recall two panels of child Gojo and in both he looked like a distanced child (kinda had the same vibe as Megumi when he was a child).

The circumstances just place a lot of burden for a child. And I guess when puberty hits all those pent-up emotions made him despise authority and made him a rebellious teen who was all cocky and found that those responsibilities as the strongest sorcerer and the whole deal with protecting the weak was the biggest nuisance ever. - That also explaines why he said he won’t allow anyone to steal the best years of the youth (and why he stopped the elders from taking away the students decision on whether or not they should continue the Goodwill event and then proceeded to opt for a fun baseball game) and why he is usually acting like a child himself. Because he didn’t get to live out his childhood and youth himself he cherishes every opportunity he can get to just be easygoing and carefree.

#gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk analysis

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goldlightsaber · 3 years

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No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men doesn't really need my praise, given that it won the Academy Award for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor and several other awards. But I'm here to give it anyway! It is truly a work of art. Over a decade old and it has stood the test of time as a gripping thriller. Warning: this review is a bit all over the place, but I covered the bits I liked best!

The Big Bad

Javier Bardem. Where do I begin with him? I could watch this man clean up gunshot wounds in a cheap motel room for hours. It was so fascinating to see him work -- even if a lot of that work was brutal, cold-blooded, psychopathic murder. Watching him was like watching a true crime documentary. He felt real and chilled me to the core.

I commend the script for all its cleverness, but especially the intentionality behind Anton Chigurh's dialogue. I have never seen more unusual, rhythmic dialogue. What stuck in my head was his relentless way of asking questions. "Where does he work?" he asks the trailer park management lady. She tells him she can't tell him. Again, he asks, "Where does he work?" She tells him again, more firmly, that she can't reveal the information. In the same monotone, he asks for a third time, "Where does he work?" He puts on no charm. He does not bribe or threaten. He asks questions straight. He disguises himself as --but does not claim to be-- something he's not. He pretends to be a cop; a man stranded on the road; a hotel guess. People believe what he only appears to be. They make something of him, something recognizable, so that they know how to interact with him. Except slowly, through dialogue, he reveals to them his true, sadistic nature. And no one wants to believe it. Often the people he speaks with are dumbfounded, stammering out "Sir?" and "I don't understand." It doesn't dawn on them until its too late that he is someone they should run from. It's ironic, really. The goodwill and trust of other people is his bread and butter -- it's what allows him to extract information without force (at least at first) and to obtain all the resources he needs. There's a Southern hospitality theme that runs throughout. Many of the Texans he runs into offer him help -- little do they know that, with Anton Chigurh, it will likely cost them their lives. Everyone is a means to an end unless they are the end -- the person he means to kill.

Don't even get me started on his weapon of choice. It looks like he's carrying around an oxygen tank. It even gives him a misleading look of frailty -- like he might be using it to survive despite it not being attached to his person. If he was carrying around a gun, people might run in the other direction. But, seeing a captive bolt stunner, people are often just confused (I had to look up what it was called) -- and that's part of his genius too.

Yet he's tone deaf. He is easily irritated by small talk, seeming not to understand its point (award for most extreme introvert like, ever?). He nearly killed a gas station worker seemingly because of the small talk. A hint at his disturbed, unusual mind. As I mentioned earlier, he always cuts to the chase -- no fluff. He will get what he needs now, or else. Unless you're lucky and the coin toss flips in your favor. Or there are too many witnesses nearby. But rest assured -- there is no escaping this man. As Woody Harrelson's character, Wills, asks Llewelyn: "You've seen him, and you're not dead?"

Subverting Expectations

With a crime movie, you hope the good guy lives and the cops catch the killers, or that at least one of the two things happen. Nope! Not that simple with a Coen brothers film. Llewelyn is a law-breaking and a "street smart" guy but has a golden heart. He's empathetic (like when the "agua" man hung over his conscience) and only shoots people when he needs to -- Anton Chigurh is his foil, in that sense. Even though his resourcefulness and quick thinking gets him out of trouble for the majority of the film, he is suddenly killed by the Mexican cartel. We don't see it happen, we only see the drug dealers fleeing the scene and the aftermath. It comes minutes after a flirty motel patron tells Llewelyn that, whatever is coming, Llewelyn will never see it coming. And he doesn't. And neither does the audience, for that matter. With Llewelyn seemingly gearing up to fight Chigurh, I expected the two of them to have a showdown over the money. Llewelyn's death was sudden and abrupt. He didn't go out with guns blazing. He didn't get to showcase his strength. For all the times he has healed from injuries, Llewelyn--likable, honorable--still dies.

The sheriff retires -- he doesn't manage to track down Chigurh or anyone else for that matter. To him, Chigurh is a "ghost." The sheriff, at the end of the movie, describes himself as "ummatched," and that is underwhelming too. You fully expect -- or I did, based on previous crime thriller movies-- for some sort of justice to be served, for someone to be caught and locked away, but Chigurh is alive and free at the end of the movie and so are all the anonymous players of the drug cartels working these deals. There was no justice. Not for Llewelyn, not for his wife, not for all the collateral damage.

A Brilliant Script

Speaking of Llewelyn's wife! I loved her last show of defiance in the face of Chigurh. She was shocked but not surprised. Surely, his appearance scared her, but she knew death was coming for her -- and she didn't give Chigurh the liberty of making her death her responsibility. He was fully accountable -- and she made that clear. Was it a foolish choice? I don't know. It did leave me thinking for a while -- what would I do in the situation? The coin toss is the greatest mercy Chigurh is capable of bestowing on anyone. He is a Harvey Dent without a grudge. She chooses not to participate in the game and he kills her. I asked myself: were I in that situation, would I have chosen not to play? There were two options: she plays and has a 50% chance of living. She doesn't play, and she will, for certain, die. She chooses the latter. Is that bravery? I think so. It's certainly strength of character. She is principled in a wholly other way than Chigurh. I feel that I would have wanted to "call it" -- give myself a chance at living. But even that phrasing is misleading. No matter the "choice," Chigurh is the real judge, jury and executioner. And he chooses to kill. Always.

When he exits Carla Jean's house, I found myself wondering what had happened. In the first few seconds of the scene, it isn't yet clear whether he killed her. What follows is one of the more brilliant, subtle moments of the film: Chigurh checks the bottoms of his shoes. We know from an earlier scene that he takes care to keep them clean from the carnage of his crimes, and so, we also know he was checking to see if Carla Jean's blood had spilt on them. He murdered her.

The Ending

I have not yet uncovered the symbolic significance of the car crash, but I can try to take a guess. The car crash brutally injures Chigurh, breaking his arm and God knows what else. It is a random accident, not someone intentionally trying to kill him. Two boys who were riding their bikes behind him approaching Chigurh, who is sitting on the sidewalk, seriously injured. The boys offer him help only out of goodwill. But then he offers them money for one of their shirts, which they initially reject until he insists they take it. Is the symbolism in that? Of yet-uncorrupted youth starkly contrasted with his total evil? In offering them a large sum of money, is he corrupting them to think of life transactionally? As he walks away, the boys argue about splitting the money and he is no longer their concern -- greed is on their mind but only because he brought up money in the first place. (I feel like I cheated on this one because I read somewhere how the movie is about the rising forces of evil in the world that are hard to defeat -- hence the sheriff is unable to defeat them). Will this start them down the path of chasing money and power? Who knows. Maybe.

Overall: a movie I couldn't look away from except to run to the bathroom. I could watch hours of Javier Bardem in this role just sitting. Or eating. But preferably treating his own wounds.

Watch if: you're a fan of Ozark (TV show); or Fargo (movie or TV show).

#no country for old men #the coen brothers #javier bardem #my love <3 #josh brolin #tommy lee jones #kelly macdonald #film #text #i decided to cheer myself up by writing a movie review so HERE #i guess i only do these for movies i like lol #need to watch some shitty films #I ALMOST FORGOT THE PICTURES

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saleintothe90s · 3 years

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427. Super Bowl 1991 Commercials (1/27/1991)

(I love that this carefree ad ran in the WE’RE AT WAR issue of my local paper, Daily Press, ten days before the Super Bowl):

I believe my mom would save the papers from the war, and send them to my dad who was out to sea at the time. That’s the only reason why we still have this copy that’s in my collection right now (I took this pic back in 2017 when I re-found it).

So, anyway, just like 30 years ago, Super Bowl 2021 is being held during an uncertain time in the country, and just like in 1991, advertisers were hesitant. Diet Pepsi pulled a “call this number for your chance at a million dollars” ad days before the game, citing “world events”, and the fear of “Disrupting our nation’s ability to communicate” 1:

New York Times on wartime Super Bowl coverage the following day:

Even the commercials were affected by events in the Gulf. In most Super Bowl telecasts, the messages are slick and expensive. This year's batch was somewhat toned down because of the war, most notably the ads of Coke and Pepsi, which abandoned ambitious promotions and made sure the viewer knew it. (And didn't Pepsi have to love that halftime shot of a soldier drinking its product while watching the game in Saudi Arabia?) 2

(source)

Before we get started, I have to mention Whitney Houston’s Star Spangled Banner from that year. Every Monday morning in elementary school, we had to stand for the Star Spangled Banner along with the Pledge of Allegiance. For weeks after the game, we always stood for the Whitney version. I always refer to this Super Bowl as the “Whitney Houston Super Bowl”.

Ok, now to the “subdued” (?) commercials, beginning here:

Look, I know that Jay from the Purple Stuff Podcast said he loved this commercial in the Super Bowl Commercials episode, but I think this Bugle Boy commercial with the GoGos is so lame. I mean, I’m going to say it, were the GoGos still relevant in 1991? Was Bugle Boy clothes still a thing in 1991?

Are picture-in picture TVs still a thing?!

Bud Bowl 3 with Bud Dry this year! I predict Bud Light will win this year.

At 4 minutes in, Advertising History happens. Yes, it’s the Ray Charles Diet Pepsi UH-HUH commercial! I was seven when this aired, so this was one of the first big commercial campaigns I really remembered. I have this strange memory of seeing a TV interview with the Uh-Huh girls (Meilani Paul, Darlene Dillinger and Gretchen Palmer) , and they said they were coming out with an album soon, and little me was like, “I’m going to buy that album”. It never came out.

Ray made an appearance on Pepsi cans in 2018. I never got my hands on the Ray can, I always got Britney or MJ when I got a pack of Diet Pepsi that Summer.

I’ve been meaning to watch the John Goodman critical flop King Ralph for months now.

Is wielding around a giant bottle opener legal at the Bud Bowl?

Part 2 starts with an upset at the Bud Bowl -- Bud Light hid the football in his label? what? So many questions with the commercials this year.

Peter Jennings updates us during the commercial break about the war. The Air Force was using smart bombs to disturb the oil flow into the Gulf, started by the Iraqis. It was 3am and quiet in Saudi Arabia.

Earlier, I mentioned that I was just a little kid when this was going on, and I don’t remember much. However, I do remember thinking “Iraq” was spelled “Arrack”, until I saw the word “Iraq” in a newspaper headline.

Peter will be back at halftime for another update. Yup, you heard me, no halftime show was broadcast that year. If you were at the stadium in Tampa that year you saw the show with the New Kids on the Block and an “all kids Super Bowl”, but if you were watching it on TV, you got the news, and maybe after the premiere of Davis Rules after the game, you saw the show, pretaped, but most people didn’t see the show. There’s a great video by Secret Base about the “worst halftime show ever”. Peter Jennings was “the Beyonce of 1991″. It looks like from Secret Base’s video that we didn’t miss anything. i mean a small bowl-cut haired boy sang “Wind Beneath My Wings”, which I’ve mentioned before, is the saddest song ever:

(that little kid has major hair roots)

The original World Football League only lasted two years. I found an early game on YouTube.

McDonalds thought that neon clad skiers could sell its steak sandwich with onions, mushrooms, and sauce that looks little McRib-y.

Here is a Harlem Globetrotter dancing with Miss Piggy.

Karl Malone had some jazzy LAGears. Did you know that there are some LAGears on the Payless Shoes website?

I have more questions, what is that popping out of that Panasonic TV? A remote control? Way back in the beginning of this website, I asked another question about a Panasonic Commercial that aired this evening.

Bud Bowl update at the end of part 2:

Part 3

Oh, give me a break with this elementary school garbage, Hertz. This is the Super Bowl.

All the goodwill I gave the Ray Charles Diet Pepsi commercial is out the door after hearing Jerry Lewis sing murder the song.

A 40 oz of Budweiser crushed and murdered some Bud Light bottles. Game’s tied.

Part 4

~the new Panasonic portable laptop word processor~ Nope, this wasn’t a computer, it just handled word processing.

Eriq La Salle played an olympian in a Budweiser commercial. ~America~

Ok, Boomer. But seriously, l’m 37, and I still want Reebok Pumps.

Diet Coke dumped their Leslie Nielsen commercial, and instead ran a commercial stating why they didn’t feel right airing it? I don’t think this commercial would hurt anybody’s feelings or offend anybody, Diet Coke. In 1994, The New York Times mentioned it as an ad fail:

In 1991 the Persian Gulf War overshadowed the cola wars, forcing Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola to reassess plans to promote contests with humorous commercials.

Coca-Cola went ahead with its contest, but replaced its silly spots, starring Leslie Nielsen as a bumbling police detective, with serious spots, including one announcing a $1 million donation to the U.S.O. There have been few more surreal moments in advertising history than when a somber-voiced announcer in a no-frills Diet Coke commercial asked consumers to play the "Crack the Code for Real Refreshment" game.

Pepsi, by contrast, scrapped its contest but stuck with its funny commercials, featuring Ray Charles warbling "You got the right one baby, uh-huh!" for Diet Pepsi. The result: Diet Pepsi trounced Diet Coke -- and Coca-Cola has yet to return to the Super Bowl. 3

A sense of relief washed over me when I saw my bbys, Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey in an American Express commercial.

Jon couldn’t shop at Needless Markup.

Budweiser is cheating again.

(part 5)

Bud Light won fair and square!

1. “Pepsi Promotion Fizzles Out.” Broadcasting, January 28, 1991. 26. https://worldradiohistory.com/Archive-BC/BC-1991/BC-1991-01-28.pdf

2. Lapointe, Joe. “SUPER BOWL XXV: TELEVISION; ABC’s Coverage Stays in Perspective.” The New York Times, January 28, 1991, sec. Sports. https://www.nytimes.com/1991/01/28/sports/super-bowl-xxv-television-abc-s-coverage-stays-in-perspective.html.

3. Elliott, Stuart. “Super Triumphs and Super Flops.” The New York Times, January 30, 1994, sec. Business. https://www.nytimes.com/1994/01/30/business/super-triumphs-and-super-flops.html.

#super bowl #superbowl #1991 #persian gulf war #operation desert storm #peter jennings #old commercials #diet coke #diet pepsi #ray charles #randy quaid #bud bowl #jon lovitz #dana carvey #eriq la salle #america

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cubeswhump · 4 years

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Sunglasses at Night

A weird interpretation of Tooth Knocked Out for my character, Noelle.

So you all know Noelle, maybe not by name, from my profile picture. She was actually one of the first characters on this blog but I’ve neglected to write her until coming up with an actual plotline like two nights ago.

Warnings for mentions of murder (specifically serial killing), blood, some gore, mentions of alcoholic intoxication, violence, kidnapping, discussed sexual abuse, implied sexual abuse, broken bones, minor mouth gore, briefly mentioned racial bias and police brutality, politically incorrect joke that the character is immediately guilted for.

There was regular stupid, and then there was Noelle Alan.

All of five feet and two inches, the girl thoight herself a badass, the Batman of middle of nowhere Florida. But instead of the Joker she fought petty criminals and that one neighbor who hit his kid, and she was dirt-poor with no grappling hook and Noellemobile, just a hockey stick and homemade pepper spray that was starting to smell fermented.

She came home bruised and bloody most nights. People looked at her father with scorn when she stood next to him with black eyes and swollen lips.

"Elle, you're gonna die one of these days," Marshall grumbled when he saw how intently she was looking at her phone, "and I'm gonna piss on your rotting corpse."

"Kinky," she giggled.

"Scratch that. If you were on fire, I wouldn't piss on you."

He had an idea of what she was looking at and a pit formed in his stomach. When the bodies of young women, necks torn and blood drained, had started to be found around town on a weekly basis, not even hidden, Noelle wasn't scared; Marshall recognized the glint in her eye.

"No," he growled, looking over her shpulder at the news article on her phone screen. "Don't you fucking dare."

"I'm hunting a vampire," Noelle murmured, lips stretching into the dumbest smile.

"Vampires aren't fucking real. You're gonna chase after a serial killer and end up raped and dead in a gutter."

Noelle didn't look up from her phone. "Way to sould callous about rape."

Marshall grit his teeth, fists clenched tight. "No, I'm the one actually taking that shit seriously and bringing up an actual risk."

"I'll sharpen my stakes."

Marshall unclenched his fists and granbed her by her shoulders. He shook his overgrown hair out of his face to look her in the eye.

"Your jawline's looking really defined," Noelle tried, but the flattery was ignored. "Is that stubble I see?"

He huffed out a sigh. "Noelle, I will kill you myself."

"Do it, pussy."

"I don't think you're taking this seriously."

"I'm serious all right." Her shit-eating grin was back. "Seriously about to kick some undead ass."

Marshall drew back his hands, face contorting. "I can't fucking stand you sometimes," he said softly, and turned his back to her. "See you in Hell."

He slammed the bedroom door on his way out. Front door opened and slammed as well. He peeled out of the driveway in his beat-up secondhand car.

Okay. That hurt a bit.

Noelle tried to keep her spirits up. She'd apologize to Marshall after she caught a vamp- serial killer. Caught a serial killer.

People often called Noelle stupid but when she wanted answers, she knew how to get them. When she bothered to actually do her work in school she could always find the cause and effect, the author's purpose, subtext, textual evidence. She got scolded for being mouthy. Teachers said she was far too opinionated when she badmouthed authors and mocked bias in her essays. She was in internal suspension more than the mainstream classroom for arguments with teachers and fights with peers.

Her father joked, with a hint of seriousness, that she was the cause of his receding hairline. Some black people rose to the top and lead social change, but where does having a big mouth usually get a black girl from a poor family? All these police shootings terrified the man and Noelle knew it, but she couldn't stay out of trouble.

He thought she was finally behaving when he caught her pouring over notebooks, scribbling with pencils, using up all their printer ink. His frown lines softened. She was doing her homework, and she was working hard.

In actuality, she was printing up police reports and jotting down the hints, connecting all the detaild. This killer stayed within a small radius and his victims, young women of various races (so racial motivation was crossed out) but tending to be on the smaller side, were all last seen at bars (three specific local ones). And all were seen leaving on their own.

This killer made no attempts to hide their bodies. Two were found in a canal less than a mile away from Marshall's house. One was stuffed into a trashcan missing its lid. One was found behind poor Mrs. Johnson's teashop, and she'd told her young, female employees to stay away for their own safety. One, the most brazen display, was tied to a lamppost on the town's busiest intersection.

All victims were found within a five mile radius.

And the manner of the killing stumped Noelle and detectives alike. Police reports and news articles were vague, almost glossing over it in saying that "throats were torn and copious amounts of blood was lost", but Noelle had managed to find and save some leaked photos before they were taken down.

These women didn't just have their throats slit. Despite Noelle's earlier jokes about vampires, there weren't two neat little punctures; throats were ripped open, skin flapping, jugulars severed and windpipes exposed with multiple points of entry. She reasoned that the weapon must be one designed to grasp at the skin and tear.

She sketched designs for metal claws that attach to the hands, designed to bite into the skin and tear it away when the killer drew his (or her, Noelle Alan was no misogynist) arm back. They would have to attach to the fingers for better flexibility and range of motion and they would need to be relatively short, perhaps protruding only an inch past the finger tips, to have a good grasp. Such a cautious design would be needed to attach well and firmly to the fingers without causing harm to the wearer. Would the blades continue down along the fingers? They must. The intricate joints needed to bend with the fingers.

"This is fucking cool," Noelle breathed, imagining such a weapon on her own hands. Mirror-like silver against brown fingers. She would be a viscous tiger-lady clawing at her enemies and protecting the innocent.

Right. Back to the toxicology reports. While finding blood alcohol levels above 0.05% in what little blood remained in each victim, there was something else. A small amount of some foreign substance but there was more of it than blood after the killer got done with these poor women.

Surely the medical examiner would be able to identify any known toxin or poison, so it was nothing like cyanide or chloroform. Perhaps it was something homemade the killer was lacing his (or her!) weapon with? Or, Noelle thought, perhaps he just didn't clean the weapon in between uses and let it build up enough grime to show in blood?

No, that would not only dull a blade, but a medical examiner would recognize simple dirt and bacteria.

Once a week, usually Monday or Tuesday. Girls always seen leaving after two in the morning, dead before three. Bars the girls came from following no pattern, like the killer was picking which of the three at random. So which one would Noelle go to if she couldn't predict the target?

The killer liked small girls, short of stature and narrow shoulders. Noelle's height fit the bill, but she needed clothes that hid her muscles while allowing enough skin exposure (no turtlenecks).

Her wardrobe: tank tops, tank tops, short-shorts, athletic shorts, more tank tops, pajamas, sports bras, running shoes. Why was her middle school uniform still in there? A momentary distraction while she tried it on and found that while she'd gotten wider, she hadn't grown much vertically since seventh grade.

She had to blow her birthday money from that one rich aunt at Goodwill. A green dress that had a good balance of making her butt look fantastic while still allowing movement. A good dress couldn't help her chest though and she stuffed some tissues in her bra. A-cups, while great for athletics, scarcely got noticed.

A cardigan covered the bulk of her arms (and bra straps) and the dress hid her thighs but showed of her calves. She practiced some kicks and defensive stances in the black kitten heels until the clerk threatened to kick her out. They slipped off easily enough, and were only nine dollars, so she'd just kick them off to fight.

She arived at Uncle Tim's Beer Belly (always pick the one with a funny name) at 1AM. She was only eighteen so she wasn't supposed to be in bars but she discovered that she could get away with it by staying away from the bar, hiding in crowds, and acting casual and confident if the bartender looked her way. She couldn't actually get drunk before a fight but she rubbed whiskey in her armpits, behind her ears, and on her wrists and neck and practiced a drunken shamble to look and smell the part.

Each victim seen leaving around two in the morning. Check, Noelle was out the door by 2:10, feeling so stupid shambling down the road that she couldn't help giggling and sticking her arms out in a zombie impression.

She circled the block for a good hour, and only attracted the attention of some catcallers. At least it was fun to yell back at them.

"I'll suck your dick if you suck mine!" she shouted at one in a red car, and immediately felt guilty. Marshall would punch her in her padded boob if he heard her making jokes at the expense of transwomen.

God, she missed Marshall. He hadn't responded to any of memes she sent him the past few days. She knew he'd disapprove of her activities.

She tried the next night and had no luck again. The only difference was that her dad caught her coming in through the window smelling like a bar and freaked out. That was not fun.

That morning, someone found the body of a young woman who had last been seen leaving The Wench's Tavern. Caitlin Weiss, a girl who graduated when Ne was a junior, and an old friend of Marshall. She was so nice to everyone and gushed about how she was going to be a veterinarian, and instead she was found with her skirt hiked up as her lower half dangled out of a dumpster. Neck torn.

Ander boiled inside Noee. Caitlin didn't deserve that. None of them did!

If only Noelle had guessed the right bar, Caitlin might have made it home.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Noelle yelled. She had to put duct tape over the hole she accidentally kicked in the wall. Hopefully her dad didn't notice that. She was on thin ice already.

She was back next week, and the week after that. She stuck to the Beer Belly. After all, when you're guessing on a multiple-choice test, you're meant to pick all the same letter. Surely a percentage of those A's will be corrext and you'll fail the test if you alternate answers.

For the first time in her life, she was beginning to lose hope. Would she ever catch this scumbag? But she kept going even as that hope dwindled. She kept going even when Marshall responded after countless texts and only said, "I know what you're doing and I want no part in it."

She owed it to Caitlin, Therese Jenkins, Natalie Hernandez, Jessye Zhao, Katy Smith... She ignored the voice in her head telling her she was doing it out if pride, not the innocent lives lost.

She was having a mental debate when she heard footsteps on week four. Heavy footsteps, like a man. Confident footsteps like he wanted to be heard. She wasn't a girl who feared sharing the sidewalk with men. Maybe it was just a courteous young guy walking loudly to let a woman know he was there and avoid her thinking he was following her.

But she didn't believe that.

She waited until she'd taken four right turns and the footsteps continued. Yep, she was heing followed. She snaked a hand in her bag and whipped out the hairspray bottle, spraying the spicy concoction as she spun around. But the man's face was higher up than she expecyed, and he was wearing sunglasses. At night.

I wear my sunglasses at night

So I can, so I can

Watch you weave-

She pushed the stupid song away and reminded herself this wasn't the time.

In the dim light of the streetlight across the street, she could see...wow, he was tall, and not quite fat but plump and round. He raised his hand and swung it at hers, and there was a crack! even before the cannister hit the ground. She shouted and clutched her hand.

Hands that definitely didn't have metal claws pulled her close, pressing her against his body. She struggled but the hold on her back grew painful.

"You've been looking for me, haven't you?" he asked, voice deep and husky. She could hear the smile in his voice, and grit her teeth.

"You're a sick fuck," she spat. If she could just get her throbbung hand in her bag, if she could move just enough to retrieve her knife...

"I like you, girl," he chuckled.

His hands moved to her shoulders, and with the increased space between them, her hand was able to dart into the bag. Bone fragments ground against each other as her bad hand tightened around the handle, and tears stung her eyes.

The man was suddenly coming down toward her, and he was coming down fast. With a shout, she plunged the knife right in between his ribs just as pain blossomed in her neck.

"Help, I'm being fucking murdered!" she screamed, warmth dripping down her neck and chest. "Fire! Fire!"

A muffled laugh. The creep was amused.

Surely the blood was flowing out, but there was an odd pressure like something going in. It felt like getting an injection at the doctor's office, but the needle at the end of the syringe was actually a bear trap.

Noelle was screaming even after the pain faded to tingly numbness that spread to her limbs, until her vocal cords seized. Her hands fell limply from the handle of the knife still sticking out of his ribcage. The only thing holding her up was his mouth on her neck. She fought to keep her eyes open but everything faded to black.

***

There were lucid moments here and there but it was like watching an old, grainy home video. Long fingers that she couldn't see in the darkness wrenching her jaw open. Something thick and bitter pouring down her throat. The taste remained, sticking to her teeth and mouth and throat. She gagged. Darkness.

Alone on a mattress, sitting back on her ankles, never questioning why she could see with the lights off. A chunk of something was on her tongue. She plucked it out wuth her fingers, one hand still throbbing, and her eyes widened at the little white canine tooth. And then there was another, and then a premolar. Fade to black.

She dreamed of tall, pink men with long fingers and metal claws. She dreamed of her skin ripping open and a skeleton bursting out and flying into the night. She dreamed of teeth: white teeth, yellow teeth, rotted teeth with cavities, square teeth, molars, sharp teeth. Very sharp teeth.

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theycallmegothboy · 3 years

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1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? -spotify 2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess 3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers 14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size? -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao 39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear? -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao 49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car? -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18. 54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job? -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles? -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods? -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons? -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce? -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed? -wouldnt you like to know? ;)) 66. have you ever won a spelling bee? -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw? -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw? -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you? -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah 78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment 81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor? -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos? -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules. 84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier 85. what shirt are you wearing? -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high? -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk? -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate? -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter? -fall. fuck you 96. day or night? -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month? -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of? -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

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televinita · 3 years

Text

Books Read In 2020: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016 and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book?

Below, my 100 reads of 2020 are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end, now with a bonus note about how I heard of it. Which I probably won’t continue to do next year, but it was fun to try.

ADULT FICTION

I read each of these books because...

A Glitter of Gold - Liz Johnson. 2019. It had me at "her pirate tour business," but between the shipwreck & the museum-director love interest it was like BLOOD & TREASURE ROMANCE AU LET'S GOOO.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Last Woman in the Forest - Diane Les Becquets. 2019. Recommended by a dog lover; I'm down for a thriller about a woman who has a dream dog-inclusive job like this.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. I really enjoyed the miniseries and wanted to see if the book everyone loved so much was as good (for the record: it was not. at least not if you’ve seen the miniseries first; otherwise they are probably equal).

This Is Home - Lisa Duffy. 2019. Attractive cover + I flipped it open to a random page and just liked the writing style.

How I heard of it: library

Dear Mr. Knightley - Katherine Reay. 2013. I'd had this on the back burner for a while because the MC sounded like me, and one day I got sick of not being able to find any fluffy contemporary romances with beta male heroes and decided Matthew Gray Gubler was gonna star in this one. (spoiler alert: it is a good book but that did not work)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Rubbernecker - Belinda Bauer. 2013. Criminal Minds sent me into a tailspin so I went hunting for books to cast Spencer Reid in again; the Asperger's/case-solving/difficult relationship with mother combo sounded promising. (spoiler alert: the med-student element + his social cluelessness proved too strong and I was only able to picture the kid from The Good Doctor)

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Swiss Affair - Emylia Hall. 2013. I got a random hankering for a student/teacher novel, and after scrutinizing the library catalog this was the only one that fit my parameters for gender, lack of adultery, and focus on romance over sex.

How I heard of it: library

Love At First Bark - Debbie Burns. 2019. I was trying to cast Wes/Jules [Dollface] in a romance novel, so I browsed through a Goodreads friend's "dog-romance" shelf and accidentally landed in a Jeid AU [Criminal Minds]. Which may or may not have been a large part of what turned me into a Jeid shipper (outside canon only).

The Mermaids Singing - Val McDermid. 1995. One final attempt to cast Reid in a novel -- a user in a Reddit post asking for this very thing suggested this, and "profiler with idiosyncracies" certainly fit.

The Wire in the Blood [and 9 subsequent novels] - Val McDermid, spanning 1997-2019. Turns out aside from being British, Reid paints onto Tony Hill EXCEPTIONALLY well, and I accidentally found myself with a little Jeid AU in the process, so obviously I read the entire series. Good crime-solving fun and all that.

Horse - Talley English. 2018. Random library pull because I connected with the writing style and it appeared to actually focus on horses.

How I heard of it: library

A Sparkle of Silver - Liz Johnson. 2018. I liked the author's other book and this was pretty much a remix of the same story, but now with a cool mansion/estate setting.

How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Everyone Is Beautiful - Katherine Center. 2009. Went looking for stories about strong marriages, found this on a Goodreads list of "second chance marriage" books, tripped into something like a season 9 Jim/Pam scenario. How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Lost Husband - Katherine Center. 2013. Loved the previous book of hers I read, and the "starting life over on a goat farm" angle sounded like an ideal life to try on.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Shadow Year - Hannah Richell. 2013. Fixing up an old house?? I am THERE. Doing this in two timelines, one of which involves off-the-grid homesteading, is even better.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and after spinning in circles over what I thought would appeal to my mood in that setting, my brain randomly said "reread this one."

How I heard of it: estate sale

Path of the Jaguar - Vickie Britton & Loretta Jackson. 1989. Bought cheap for cheap thrills: a Yucatan adventure/mystery. Read now so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Burying Water - K.A. Tucker. 2014. The library didn't have The Simple Wild, but they DID have a book w/ an equally pretty cover that talked about a badly beaten young amnesiac (!) recovering on a horse farm (!!). What is: my top romance trope (hurt/comfort, bonus points for animals and rural setting).

How I heard of it: library

Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center. Established quality author + summertime hiking inspiration.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Visitors - Simon Sylvester. Cool cover + setting, and a teenage protagonist usually makes adult fiction more accessible. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Becoming Rain - K.A. Tucker. 2014. I was in this companion novel solely for mentions of Alex and any people by the last name of Wells, but figured I might as well read all of it to ensure I didn't miss any. How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Guest List - Lucy Foley. 2020. Honestly, it just sounded like a cool thriller (and cool setting). How I heard of it: a book blog

You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik. 2011. Fell down a Will/Rachel [Glee] rabbit hole and ravaged the student/teacher keyword in my library catalog again to scratch the itch.

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson. 1959. Mom's been trying to get me to read this for years, and this time when it came up in conversation it was the right time of year, so I randomly decided to give it a shot. How I heard of it: Mom

The Walker in Shadows - Barbara Michaels. 1979. Gothic ghost story + beautiful architectural details in a historic house = yeah!

How I heard of it: Goodwill

YOUNG ADULT

People Like Us - Dane Mele. 2018. Needed an audiobook; a girls' boarding school murder mystery seemed most likely to hold my attention of the limited options. How I heard of it: Library

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson. 2016. I will read anything by this author, and girl having a meltdown over a test = me. How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Rob&Sara.com - P.J. Petersen & Ivy Ruckman. 2004. Mostly I wanted to go back to my high school days and enjoy the format of a novel written in emails, but also, I like Ruckman. How I heard of it: used book sale

For Real - Alison Cherry. 2014. Fictional Amazing Race!! + awesome summery cover + sisters How I heard of it: library sale

The Summer After You + Me - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski. 2015. The awesome summery cover, mostly. How I heard of it: a book blog

You'd Be Mine - Erin Hahn. 2019. Gorgeous cover + the chance to vicariously follow a budding young country music star on tour for the summer.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Juniors - Kaui Hart Hemmings. 2015. The neat setting(s): a live-in guest on a wealthy estate in Hawaii. How I heard of it: Dollar store

Lion Boy's White Brother - Alden G. Stevens. 1951. Bought cheap because vintage juvenile book in a unique setting. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: used bookstore

The O.C.: Spring Break - Aury Wallington. 2005. I keep meaning to finish this short series, and it was an easy title to count for my Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Echo Island - Edward Karlow. 2017. Bought cheap because of the beautiful summery cover; easy read for Mount TBR so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain. 2017. Read because of THE SUPER CUTE SUMMERY COVER (and diary format).

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Kentucky Daughter - Carol J. Scott. 1985. Working my way down the “Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationships in YA" list because I'm in that kind of mood this year; chose this because 80s books tend to deliver the subject best*, the character reminded me of the girl in Send No Blessings, and Open Library had it. *this one was just blatant sexual harassment, though, and belonged very literally on that list

How I heard of it: Goodreads

What They Always Tell Us - Martin Wilson. 2008. I sorted the library catalog to see the oldest contemporary YA novels they still have before they get weeded, and "loner being taken under the wing of his older brother's (male) friend and falling in love with him" hit a couple of good tropes. How I heard of it: library

Bobby's Watching - Ted Pickford. 1993. Browsing around on OpenLibrary and saw they FINALLY had a copy of this book that scared me too much to finish as a kid, and which I've wanted to revisit ever since I remembered what it's called (Interlibrary Loan doesn't have it and it's Not Cheap to buy).

How I heard of it: library

Powwow Summer - Nahanni Shingoose. 2019. Always interested in modern-day Indigenous girls connecting w/ their heritage, especially if they're from my home state's tribe.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Princesses of Iowa - M. Molly Backes. 2012. Appealing cover + heft suggesting a solid Midwestern contemporary, plus I liked the student teacher element (without a slash this time, as in "college student who is almost a teacher")

How I heard of it: library

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares. 2001. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares. 2003.

Long-intended reread of a college fave because I wanted see Mike Vogel in the movie, and it was summer so the stars aligned. Continued because the first book was as good as I remembered. (I would have kept going but Life distracted me for a bit and by the time I was back on track, it was no longer summer) How I heard of it: I...can't remember. Am the worst!

The Distance From Me To You - Marina Gessner a.k.a. Nina de Gramont. 2015. Hiking inspiration + an appealing-sounding romance. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Where Have All the Tigers Gone? - Lynn Hall. 1989. Will read any of her books, but specifically read this one because it seemed fairly autobiographical, and I read it NOW because it seemed durable enough to take on vacation. How I heard of it: looking up books by this author

And Both Were Young - Madeline L'Engle. 1949 (text of 1983 edition w/ material from original manuscript added back). Something reminded me of its existence and I requested it because it was the only non-animal-focused vintage teen novel I could physically get my hands on before Interlibrary Loan opened back up, and I had a craving for just that.

How I heard of it: library

The Other Side of Lost - Jessi Kirby. 2018. Established quality author + throw me ALL the thru-hike novels!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vow - Jessica Martinez. 2013. Perfect scenario to run an Abed/Annie [Community] AU!

How I heard of it: I want to say...an article on a book website (not personal blog this time) back in 2013.

Moon and Me - Hadley Irwin. 1981. Was just in the mood to read an 80s teen novel and this one helped me knock off a title for the Mount TBR challenge. From an author I like, w/ bonus horse content.

How I heard of it: used book sale.

Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten. 2015. I bought a blind bag at the library sale and this was one of the only contemporary YA novels in it; figured I might as well read it since I'd liked a previous book of hers.

How I heard of it: Library

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera. 2016.

With the Glee rabbit hole came a Klaine spiral; this was my season 4 Tragic AU dream for them and I've been saving it for a Klainey day ever since it was published. (No I am not sorry for that horrid pun.)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

The Museum of Heartbreak - Meg Leder. 2016. The cool cover/concept of a "museum" of items reeled me in; I bought a copy a while ago 'cause the library didn't have it. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me & Mr. J - Rachel McIntyre. 2015. Student/teacher novel that looked especially appealingly tame so I'd been saving it, but then Open Library notified me it was now only available in 1-hour increments, and I got paranoid it would disappear altogether (it's not cheap to buy or available via ILL), so I wanted it in my brain.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich w/ Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. 2018. Fell in love with the DEH soundtrack. Play's summary sounded good -- getting to experience it in YA novel form?? Amazing.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Saddle a Thunderbolt - Jo Sykes. 1967

Bought a while ago because vintage horse story. Read now specifically to alleviate my pre-homesickness about moving by imagining living in an even more beautiful place than home.

How I heard of it: either a used book sale or a used bookstore...

Learning to Breathe - Janice Lynn Mather. 2018. This was mentioned on a lost-book forum and "girl with unplanned pregnancy supports herself by getting a job cleaning" piqued my interest; the setting (Bahamas) and cover made it better.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Everglades Adventure - James Ralph Johnson. 1970. Standard vintage boys' adventure-in-nature story; I like those.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott. 1868. Seeing the new movie and falling head over heels was what it took to FINALLY convince me to reread this childhood fave.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1905. I was perusing a lot of books about classic children's books and it started to bug me that I had skipped this appealing-sounding one as a kid.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

Little Men - Louisa May Alcott. 1871. LW sparked a fandom revival and I wanted more detail about the Marches' adult lives (esp. Jo & Bhaer), even on the fringes.

How I heard of it: library

Lady and the Tramp - Ward Greene. I saw a quote from the new movie under a gifset on Tumblr that sounded like it came from a book, and upon Googling out that one existed, I obviously could not allow the book version of a beloved childhood animal-movie fave to go unread. Especially after finding out it was super rare so reading it would be a privilege.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1910. Read for the same reason as A Little Princess. Can’t have one without the other, you know.

How I heard of it: was a kid; can't remember

The Mother-Daughter Book Club - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2007. Much Ado About Anne - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2008.

Always thought the series looked cute/reminded me of The Teashop Girls, but the fact that the first book they read is Little Women gave me the impetus to finally read this one. First book was darling so I continued to the next (but failed to continue beyond because COVID shut the library down until I was out of the mood).

How I heard of it: library

Nature Girl - Jane Kelley. 2010. I wanted walking inspiration.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

From You to Me - K.A. Holt. 2018. Mistook it for a similar-looking book I'd seen at the same time (See You On A Starry Night), but figured I'd give the 8th grade bucket list idea a shot once I had it. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Semiprecious - D. Anne Love. 2006. Cute cover + I'm starting to be a big fan of what I call "contemporary historical," for stories set mid-20th century.

How I heard of it: library

Dandy's Mountain - Thomas Fall. 1967. Vintage horse-inclusive children's book in a rural setting, I'm sold. Not to mention, love reading a summer setting in summer.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Littler Women: A Modern Retelling - Laura Schaefer. 2017. The only way to make the Little Women MORE magical is to make them younger, modern, and written by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy. 315 pg/1983.

A Goodreads friend strongly recommended it as similar to but better than Mandy, and reading about it in 100 Best Books For Children sealed the deal. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Jigsaw Jungle - Kristin Levine. 2018. I am a COMPLETE sucker for books told in non-traditional/scrapbook-esque format.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Runt - Marion Dane Bauer. 2002. Wolf story by a quality author. Read now after owning it for a decade to see if I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The King of the Cats - Rene Guillot. 1959. Bought cheap for a quick read because vintage animal story. Read now so I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Just The Beginning - Betty Miles. 1976. Found cheap; always down to read a vintage book about an average girl (and I wanted to know how she'd cope with her mom being "a cleaning lady in a town full of classmates who HAVE cleaning ladies").

How I heard of it: used book sale

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling. 1997. Been meaning to reread the series for a while now; finally got motivation to check out the illustrated edition 'cause Christmastime.

How I heard of it: originally Mom; a book blog for this edition

Echo Mountain - Lauren Wolk. 2020. Almost entirely because of the incredible clipart cover, promising me nature and a dog (and because I could get it as an e-audiobook from the library).

How I heard of it: a book blog

Knock Three Times - Cressida Cowell. 2019. I needed another audiobook for bedtime/walks and I know that David Tennant will provide.

How I heard of it: more by this author (more accurately, narrator)

NONFICTION

The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming A Life Through The Pages Of A Lost Journal - Lily Koppel. 2008. I'm kind of obsessed with the concept of historical 5-year diaries -- and finding one like this is The Dream.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life - Anne Bogel. 2018. Attractive and compact book about the pleasures of being a reader? A headspace I want to be in.

How I heard of it: library

100 Best Books for Children - Anita Silvey. 2004. I'm big on looking at lists of books for children this year. These are the kind of books I know, love, and want to hear people talk about, now that I know books about these books exist.

How I heard of it: library

The Coming of Saska - Doreen Tovey Originally bought because it was cheap and featured animals, I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and this one is a durable ex-library copy in plastic wrap that featured a similar setting to where I was going, so: thematic.

Cats in the Belfry - Doreen Tovey. 1957. Wanted more of her books, and lo and behold the library had the first one.

How I heard of it: more by this author

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. 2016. I'll read anything the Glee kids write, and this doubled as an easy number for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: entertainment news websites

Living Large in Our Little House - Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell. 2016. I love tiny houses. And this one specifically mentioned living with dogs. And had color photographs.

How I heard of it: used bookstore

I'm Your Biggest Fan: Awkward Encounters and Assorted Misadventures in Celebrity Journalism. - Kate Coyne. 2016. Found cheap at a library sale -- loved the chapter headings and the fact that they were all about celebrities I knew.

Adrift - Tami Oldham Ashcraft w/ Suesea McGearheart. 1998/2018 edition. The movie was so awesome that I couldn't wait for more details about the real story in her own words.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark [NF] - Michelle McNamara. 2018. Been reading a lot of true crime write-ups on Reddit lately; decided it was time to pick up this well-received one.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen: Waving Through A Window - Steven Levenson. 2017. Much like The Grimmerie for Wicked, once I fell in love with the DEH soundtrack and looked up the plot summary, I wanted to read the musical's detailed background/behind the scenes story + libretto before I watched it.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune - Bill Dedman & Paul Clark Newell. 2013. Love me a story about a mansion (or three). Or the reclusive and insanely wealth heiress who owns them, that works too.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

JUVENILE NONFICTION Mascots: Military Mascots from Ancient Egypt to Modern Korea - Fairfax Downey. 1954. Animal book from an author I like; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

Come on, Seabiscuit - Ralph Moody. 1963. Bought because vintage kids' horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (and to count it towards my Mount TBR challenge 'cause it was short).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

#why i read

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fortuneparkvacation123 · 3 years

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5 Reasons Why Fortune Park Vacation Offer Paid Paid Vacation.

BENEFITS & COMP

I like birthday money a lot, but not as much as I need.

See, when I get money for my birthday, I always spend it on random everyday items: groceries, lunch, babysitters, etc. And before I know it - voila! - Birthday money is gone. Sure, the money helped, But it wasn't much of a birthday present in the end. Whenever additional cash comes into my life, it should not just be put into the general family fund and pretend that I never got it.

That is why I was delighted when I found out that Fortune Park Vacation HR pays its employees to go on holidays. Because I knew that I could only use the money for a holiday. As part of our "paid leave" policy, the company only covers holiday expenses like aeroplane tickets, hotel rooms, and other items related to the holiday.

We offer this benefit because taking a vacation and being away from the office is sometimes precisely what we need to do great things. Only allowing the money to be taken towards the holiday guarantees that employees get a much-needed vacation. Fortune Park Vacation HR ensures that the money input to good use. (Unlike many bonuses or my birthday money.)

Here are five reasons we offer paid "paid" vacation (and love it):

1. Better work-life balance.

If you consider such work as life-balancing, then holidays are mandatory. It is essential to improve an employee's life to enhance their work since "regular life" always pervades the work life. By forcing employees (well) to go on vacation, you allow them to improve their relationships with family and friends and show them how to care about those things.

2. Better engagement and loyalty.

Going on vacation to your people is a sure way to build loyalty and goodwill. And as we recently discussed, employee engagement is about commitment. We have seen that not only do our people return from their visits with an appreciation for Fortune Park Vacation, but it also helps to carry forward the culture of gratitude in our office.

3. Increased productivity.

Seventy-two per cent of HR professionals believe that employees who take more leave are more productive. Holidays (even forced holidays) help prevent burnout and give employees a much-needed restart. Just as every workweek needs its weekend, so does its holiday every year.

4. We are recruiting asset.

Paid "Paid" offers are definitely for recruits. It is easy to say that you value work-life balance and care about your employees' personal lives, but the offer to pay for employees' leave proves it. When I was interviewing with Fortune Park Vacation, I saw the paid "paid" vacation benefit as a sign that the company cares about its people's welfare, which immediately made the company happy.

5. Improved well-being.

Travel cannot get you from the comfort of your home only. As a Roman philosopher, Seneca stated, "Travel and the change of place imparts renewed vigor to the mind." The staff's mind and soul are rejuvenated during the holiday, they become more well-rounded people, and they gain invaluable visions. There is little mention of your company's culture. Well, culture.

5 Reasons to Pay Paid Vacation.

One of the highlights of working on Fortune Park Vacation is seeing pictures of colleagues worldwide sporting their bamboo shirts or jackets. With each new view, we have given a new vision, perhaps an idea for our next destination, and almost always a feeling of excitement — excitement for our friends or our next trip, or simply that we work for such a big company.

#vacation #vacationinindia #employee #employeevacation

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thaumaturtles · 5 years

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Begin ANGELQUEST

The other day, I was doing some.......

...... studying.......

When I came across an advertisement. This isn’t at all an unusual experience; I’ve been on the internet for a decade and change and I’ve come to accept that ads are a part of the experience. This was an ad I’d seen many times before, too. I’m so accustomed to seeing it that my eyes often skip right over it. However, I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Enlightenment, lately, and I’ve been trying to put that into practice in my everyday life. I’ve been attempting, to varying degrees of success, to become more aware of myself and my environment, to probe onward into my mind’s own blind spots. In short, I’m trying to blitz my chakras. (Don’t worry, am Indian, can reclaim.)

And so, for perhaps the first time, I took a moment to truly see the ad in front of me. To stop and smell the dogshit hiding behind the roses. And, goodness, was it a sight to behold. Ladies, gentlemen, and all who fall betwixt, I present to you, THIS:

Take a moment, if necessary, to take it all in.

Have you collected yourself? Good. You’re holding up the rest of the class.

I don’t know how I’ve managed to let this pass without mental comment on more than one occasion. How did I look at this image, think “angel reading? yeah, sure, that’s a thing that exists” and then shuffle along? The only explanation I can muster is Divine intervention, which would ironically lend this product some legitimacy. I need to understand. What does Angel Reading mean? How could such a process be personalized, and, furthermore, how could it take place over the Internet? Who is this “Celeste”? What is she after? Why does she look vaguely disappointed in me? Can she see my soul? What is an “Angelic Medium”?????

Clearly, if I want answers, I’m going to have to dive in. I place my Crocodile Dundee hat on my head with no small measure of trepidation, though I must confess a moiety of excitement deep within. As I hike up my Adventurin’ Shorts and stuff a few hundred metres of rope into my backpack, I consider the long road ahead. And then, with my cosplay explorer’s outfit put on to my approval, I sit down at my computer. I’m really not sure why I felt the need to do all that when I’m just gonna be here at home.

I steel my will, and I click.

This loading screen appears, and I’d like to mention that the URL for this page is perhaps longer than any URL I’ve ever seen before in my 16 years.

Okay, let’s just take a moment to get our bearings here and-

HOLY MACKEREL, THERE’S A COUNTDOWN!

And only twenty-seven minutes left! Sakes alive, I clicked this link just in time! Imagine If I’d wasted more time farting around and dressing up like Indiana Jones!

Although, weirdly enough, whenever I refresh the page, the timer restarts, and it always restarts at 27 minutes and 50ish seconds, which is a random-enough number to seem legitimate.

Hmm. Odd.

I wonder if maybe the countdown isn’t actually real and is just there to pressure you into typing your info more quickly so you don’t notice how fishy this whole opera-

OH MY GOD ONLY 26 MINUTES!!!!!!!

OK, gotta think quickly here. Gosh, they’re asking some personal questions right off the bat, but I can’t let them know it’s me; they might recognize me from tumblr. If this sting operation’s gonna go forth I gotta lie my ass off. My name? Uh, uh.. My name is Dyl-Dy- Uhhhh, shit, okay, it’s Dylan-NO, Dylllllllll...... Delilah? Delilah. Like from the Bible. Yeah, that’s fitting, especially since I’m swindling these fools. Soon, Celeste, your hair will be mine.

They’re asking for my date of birth, which I’m hesitant to put because my 16th birthday party was kind of a big deal and Celeste might’ve heard about it, in which case she’ll know it’s me AND things will be super awkward cause I didn’t invite her to the party.

I put 4/13/1969 obviously

They’re also asking for my e-mail address, which I can’t give out because it has my full name, address, and social security number in it, so let’s just pull this ripcord real quick and parachute out of this nightmare zone, and over to a quick, free, secure e-mail client. That is, protonmail.com, which is not my usual e-mail server and will thus throw Celeste’s goons even farther off my trail

Wow, that was a surprisingly quick and painless process! I might just have to use protonmail in the future

So anyway here’s my info, sent in right under the wire, with a mere 24.3 minutes left! God that was close. Picture that classic scene in Indiana Jones where he slides under the door and then reaches back in to get his hat, only it’s an out-of-shape teen and also the door hasn’t even started closing yet.

I went with my actual country because, c’mon, there’re a lot of people in Jamaica. Statistically speaking, how likely is it they’d find me through that?

You know I didn’t. You know I fucking didn’t. Why are you asking.

Also, here’s a quick rundown of what Celeste is actually offering in case anyone was curious. It does somewhat tickle me that she claims she’ll “get to work immediately” as soon as anyone clicks the link and subscribes, as though the process isn’t completely automated. It evokes a clear image of Celeste, in full angelic garb, sitting at a computer screen and answering calls while also typing into three discrete keyboards simultaneously.

The idea that she could personally take the order of every individual who clicks this ad betrays either a complete lack of confidence in the desirability of her product, or an incredible amount of confidence in her own ability to multitask.

Who is “she”? Celeste? That doesn’t make much sense in the context here. Peter’s Guardian Angel? But earlier Celeste made it sound like all angels use he/him! Also, what does “bring her back” mean if it’s the angel? Can angels leave and later be found again? I feel like if you find your guardian angel once, that should be it forever, but apparently they can leave and you have to ensnare them again?????

Hooray! A link from an unknown source to an unknown destination! I sure can’t wait to click it all day long!

The things I do in the name of science, I swear to God Celeste.

It took a minute but here it is. Sidenote: I rather enjoy the irony of an inbox which consists of three e-mails about encryption and ways to curate a safe internet experience, and one which is an automated link from a bullshit ad for a product that doesn’t exist. There’s a subtle poetry to this image. I almost want to frame it, and then sell it for an exorbitant amount of money.

Here’s the e-mail, folx. If ever you needed proof that this was a scam, look no further.

Who on this good green earth would think beginning such a missive with, “Thank you for your trust,” would be a good way to garner MORE goodwill? When I go to my local grocer and I purchase a party-sized bag of Tostitos to eat by myself over the course of a day and a half because I’m in control of my body, goddammit, the bag doesn’t say, “Thank you for believing in us! We promise we won’t give you dysentery!

Like, what the fuck? “Thank you for your trust.” Your product should be able to stand on its own two feet and proudly proclaim, “I’m gonna give you a fucking angel reading or die trying!”

That initial line has honestly made me more scared than ever for this process. I’m confident I’m going to click that link and it’s going to auto-download a terabyte of obscure Norwegian pornography to my hard drive. I did just update my computer this morning, however, and all my data are backed up, so I feel somewhat more secure than I might otherwise.

Did I really just say “data are”? I know it’s grammatically correct and all, but it’s still jarring to hear. Messes with my mental flow. And wouldn’t the proper, descriptivist thing to do be to use “data is” to avoid confusion? Using “data are” feels clunky, is more difficult to say, and makes me look a bit snobbish. I’d delete it but that would require hitting the backspace button on my computer and I’m frankly quite lazy about that sort of thing. What was I talking about again? Oh, right. I have to click the link.

Again with the “thank you for your trust” bullshit! Whatever, I’m going to let it pass. They’re clearly going for a friendly, approachable persona here, even if they’re doing it in the most threatening, ass-backwards way possible.

This next email took a seemingly endless eight minutes to arrive, during which time I meditated, raised a bonsai tree to adulthood, watched Marley & Me, grappled with intense feelings of loneliness, and worked on some of my homework.

Or maybe I just played games on my phone. You decide!

Okay, not quite what “hereby” means, but sure. It’s a common mistake, likely exacerbated by the presence of the word “here” within “hereby.” Sort of a “wherefore does not mean where” situation I suppose.

Anyway, I’m submitting to the mortifying ordeal of clicking the link yet again.

Christ get a load of this shit. How fitting that the Angelic stone for someone born on 4/13 would be Jade. My archangel is Megatron apparently??? His info claims he’s some sort of scribe. My major planet is Neptune, and my secondary planet is.... the sun? Is anyone going to tell Celeste what stars are or do I have to do everything myself around here? I do like that ram up in the top left though. I’m naming you Ram Elliot.

Now for the pièce de résistance. Meet Mahasiah. Mahasiah is not my guardian angel; Mahasiah is the guardian angel for anyone born between April 10th-14th. My guardian angel is Yerathel, apparently. A few things I learned while researching this: both Mahasia and Yerathel have “feminine energies” (???) and both have Fire as their associated classical element. Also, Yerathel rules over Intelligence, which is one thing I actually somewhat like about myself. This is actually kind of neat to learn about!

I mean come on. That’s pretty fuckin cool. His name means “He Who Punishes Evildoers” which is beyond epic, and his associated gem is Smoky Quartz, aka the only Steven Universe character.

You know, maybe this whole Angel Reading business isn’t a scam after all. Maybe it’s a perfectly safe process and I’ll be totally fine, what am I worrying about? At the very least, it couldn’t hurt to explore her site a bit more..... for research’s sake.

yeah baby tell me more

certainly, miss celeste, anything for you

wait, aren’t I already in a relationshi-

JAZZERCISING JUNIPERS BATMAN THERE’S ONLY 28 MINUTES LEFT

holy shit! I want accurate readings!

Oh god oh no okay i’ll do whatever you want celeste please don’t leave me i need my tarots

THEY KNOW ABOUT ME ALREADY OMG

Well, okay, even in my currently addled state I can still see that “Duo-Telepathy” is complete bullshi-

OH WELL IF AMANDA GAVE THEM THREE WHOLE STARS I HAVE TO TRUST IT

Amazingly, my info was pre-filled in. Almost like this site is linked to Celeste’s in some way, or perhaps even run by the same group of scammeUPSTANDING CITIZENS IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY

Ooh, another e-transmission from my good friend Celeste! Oh, how I’ve missed her! And apparently large and surprising discoveries have been made concerning me! She’s presenting me a Guide? I sure hope I’ll be able to open it, hassle-free, with no additional purchases/information required!

OHOHOHOHO

bro i’m shitting my drawers rn

I have no fucking clue what that means but you said FREE so i’m in!

oh my god there’s still so much left. just shut the fuck up and take my money you fools

AW TITS YEAH

....i think

Okay, I know the original thing said FREE and I should be “mad” or watever, but look at that bargain! that’s more than half off! It might as well be free! I’d be stupid NOT to buy it!

I’ve invented a lot of secondary information for Delilah. The phone number is merely (559) YOU-SUCK, as a subtle way of establishing the power dynamic at play here. I’m sure Celeste will appreciate it.

Hmmmmm.............. It would seem my method of “just input numbers randomly” won’t work here. Such a shame. Credit card fraud used to be so easy. I’ll have to put that on the backburner, though, because look what just appeared in my inbox!

You can see where this is going.

I’ll take my leave now, this post is getting long enough as is, but I do feel it’s important to note that doing a quick bit of research shows that Celeste & co. are famous for emotional manipulation, as well as getting people addicted to their products and forcing a sort of dependency upon them. It’s important to do your research, and remember basic internet safety tips like don’t click popups or check if a site is legit before downloading from them. It’s incredibly easy to get trapped down this sort of rabbit hole, where you wind up buying more and more of their products like you’re stockpiling for the Rapture. Not me, though, I’m obviously fine and can quit anytime I like. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go try a bunch of credit card numbers until one works.

#dylan talks #angelquest #long post #why do i keep making these #also yes this post was inspired by 'come with me on a magical journey through the internet' and 'an offer you cant refuse'#what about it

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buckybarndoors · 5 years

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Salvation - Part One

So here is my small addition to the perfect writing challenge that @thefvcker-tucker created for her amazing mile marker in hitting 500 followers! I really really hope this plays out well, and remember if you all enjoyed please don’t forget to leave feedback and, most importantly, spread some love to the lovely person who created this Supernatural - themed challenge in the first place!

Pairing: Angel!Bucky x SingleMom!Reader

Prompt: “If I am your salvation, you are mine.” Warnings: Mentions of attempted suicide and drinking, along with a lot of reference towards religion; any of all which is mentioned is also never meant to be insulting or rude in any way, for it is the thought of a fictional character attempting to make sense of their own world :)

SALVATION SERIES MASTERLIST

Not proofread, so please ignore any mistakes in the following!

*gif not my own and imagery found by the poster @nemfrog*

I have never been the kind of person to believe in God, even when life seemed to get the better of me and things seemed to be going to up and holy shit. No, for me, there was never a ‘man upstairs’ that helped with the little things or set my life and destiny out for me by giving commandments to live by and roles to fill. But, especially, there were no little angels with glorious voices and fluffy, feathery wings to match their golden, floating halos. The only angel and saving grace that I needed in my life was currently seated in the back seat of my car, happily sucking on one thumb while her free hand gripped tightly to the ratty old bear that she had found at the local Goodwill when we had stopped by earlier in the year. She was the only thing that I needed to keep me sane. Not some long-haired, holy and righteous man that claimed my life in his hands in return for my own faith and unrequited love.

It may seem random enough to go on a sudden tangent about religion and the limits of my own belief when it came down to it, but it all wouldn’t have even happened if that stupid man wouldn’t have cornered me in the street while I was attempting to carry my little darling Judith into the car from the local daycare she stays in while I work, flinging papers into my face and saying things along the line of “Do you deserve to be saved?” or “What miracles has our Father given you?” before I had time to even realize what in the hell was going on and why such a man was screaming in my face in the first place. By the time I reached the car, Judith was wide awake and undoubtedly not going back to sleep anytime soon and I was about fed up with the people in this damn city that I was just tempted to keep on driving past our apartment and just take both me and Judith to my parents house for the weekend, if only just to catch a small, well-deserved break.

But, instead, I heaved a large sigh and shifted the gear so that the car now hummed in ‘Park’, resting my forehead against the steering wheel if only to relieve just some of the pressure that was beginning to build in the space behind my eyes.

“Is something wrong, Mommy?” A pause, before the little angel in the back of the car continues. “Are you upset because I sleeped at daycare when you told me not to? I promise I never do it again! Please don’t be sad.”

I couldn’t help it. If anything, my very own daughter was kind of like my own kryptonite. With her gapped front teeth, curly hair, eyes that could make anyone turn into a puddle of goo and her inability to yet realize that ‘sleeped’ and ‘slept’ were not one and the same just made everything seemed the slightest bit lighter on my shoulders. So when the corners of my lips turned just the slightest bit upwards and the tension in my spine started to dissipate, I raised my head up from the steering wheel and shifted so that I was looking back at her, the smile still lingering on my face.

“I’m not upset, Angel,” I promise, watching as the pout on her face slowly morphs into a large, toothy grin as she giggles and squirms in her car seat, removing her thumb from her mouth so that it could be seen as brightly as she wanted it to be. “Mommy’s just a little bit stressed, but how about we go inside and get you to bed?”

In almost little to no time, the engine was shut off and I had the small girl in the safety of my arms as she clutched tightly to my neck with one hand and gripped the old bear in her other as if it were her lifeline. Haphazardly, I jam my only free hand into the pocket of my jacket and take out the keys to the apartment building itself, for since it was past eleven p.m. there was nobody there to let me inside, as per usual. But, just as the key itself made its way into its place inside the lock, Judith’s giggly voice in my ear catches my attention.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look at the pretty man over there! He gots wings - is he a angel?”

On instinct, my grip on her tightens just in the slightest as I turn with furrowed brows, one hand still placed on the now unlocked doorknob as my eyes dart every-which-way around us. Of course, I didn’t actually believe that my darling little girl saw a man with wings, but it wasn’t like her to have imaginary friends that went past her stuffed animal companions and picture books that littered her room. But now, as I gazed around us, it almost seemed as if Judith was, indeed, making up the simple fact of a man’s existence, wings or no wings. For there was nobody but us standing in the large expanse of street and sidewalk that we stood on and only the distant sound of something fluttering in the nonexistent wind of that summer night that truly kept the both of us company.

“You missed him, Mommy! He flew away. But I promise he was there! He stand over there with big black wings and-”

“Hush now, love. Let’s go to bed now. I have a big day tomorrow and you wanna keep me company, don’t you?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

With Judith tucked in and sound asleep (after a big battle on whether or not she could sleep with me for the night) while I consume a couple (four) glasses of wine to help settle the war going on in my own head, it was easy to say that I was already fed up with the new day that was to come, and it wasn’t even two in the morning yet. It was hard to tell whether or not the fact that I had the day off of work tomorrow was a miracle hidden within a nightmare, for the mere reason entirely that I could even earn this day free from any annoying customers claiming that I got their order wrong from the beginning of the day or any of the drunken men that came in to the bar that I worked inside of during the night as my second job would be because a stupid, meaningless Doctor’s appointment. Even now, as I gazed down at the seemingly endless pile of bills that sat atop the coffee table in front of the couch that I currently sat on, it almost seemed to echo in my mind just how dumb I was for believing that this Doctor’s appointment would be any different than the last.

For, after all, who could possibly cure a poor woman without the proper funds to even put her daughter before herself, much less her own health, when she was slowly but surely going blind? It sounded like a nutcase. I was a nutcase for even believing the Doctors when they claimed to want to keep seeing me every time something new arrived instead of believing the obvious fact: I was slowly but surely going into a heavy debt that I just wasn’t going to be able to pull myself out of. All for some stupid pair of eyes that just couldn’t seem to work correctly.

Without even thinking about it, I down the last few drops of what was left of the fifth glass of wine in my hand, scrunching my nose and wiping what lingered around my mouth with the back of my hand before setting down the glass object on top of the bills that read a lot of numbers with way too many digits than I favored. I felt lame as I pushed myself back to lay across the expanse of the couch, pressing my back against its cushions and tucking my legs underneath my body so that I could lay comfortably enough to ease just a little bit of the weight from my shoulders and back. This time, I didn’t have Judith to keep me from getting too in my head, just as it had been once before and reminding me all too much of the troubled times I had driven myself through when she wasn’t even alive to stop me from doing so. After all, she was my saving grace, forever and always, even if she didn’t know it. And if my sight was what it meant to make me a good enough Mother for her to have, then so be it. No matter the cost.

“God,” My voice was breathy as I sighed, feeling lame for even saying the words but continuing nonetheless as my eyelids fluttered closed against the exhaustion that lingered inside of my bones. “Whoever you are, or whoever’s even listening to me right now while I slowly go crazy, I’m begging you to hear me out for a second. Just for a second.”

I paused, for the air around me had grown thick with something that I couldn’t place, almost as if I were truly tricking myself into believing that somebody else other than myself was in the room with me, listening intently to the sound of my words as they slipped from my mouth. But still, I kept my eyes tightly sealed in fear of scaring away the feeling altogether. For even if it was a trick of my brain, it almost felt like it was what I needed at that very moment. The feeling of someone finally listening.

“I don’t know how to be the perfect mother for the little angel that’s sleeping right now, but what I do know is that I so desperately want to be. So please, if there’s anything, anything at all that you can do to make sure that she grows up with all the happiness and love that she could ever need and so much more, with or without my sight, I desperately need to see it soon. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to-”

With that sentence, my voice broke, separated by the tears that slowly began to drip down my cheeks, staining the fabric of the couch underneath my head with its salty remnants. There was nothing left for me to say, even if I did have the entire world of words flowing through my head as I let my cry, tucking my face deeper into the pillow.

And it wasn’t until I finally fell asleep that night did the feeling of company disappear, easily pushing away the darkness of normal loneliness that had I grown so used to in the many nights of slumber and filling my dreams with the remnants of blue eyes and dark emerald and jade feathers that blended in so perfectly with the darkness of the night.

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glitter-bucket · 5 years

Photo

Fucked around and made a visual character sheet for one of my pathfinder characters. The text is a mess only loosely organized because graphic design is my passion. The art is messy too so it’s a clever ruse to distract from that

This is my broody elf not-rogue, Reverie. Real name: Liathana Luyelhri. She’s currently level 7 in the campaign I’m playing her in. She had a previous incarnation in a living campaign where she got to level 8 and was built a bit differently, but that Liathana has happily retired and married her paladin gf.

That’s right, she was so fun to play I rebooted her for an entirely separate campaign. Only fitting for a superhero vigilante. A darker, grittier reboot, and they’re not pictured but she has SO MANY BELT POUCHES WELCOME TO THE 90′S BABEY-

Anyways, quick bio under the cut:

She is an orphan (?). She hasn’t seen her parents in decades, she can’t even contact them via her ancestral Dream spell. They left her in the care of a temple to Desna under tight-lipped circumstances. And before that, she and her family had been exiled from their reclusive clan of dusk elves. Shady parents who may or may not be alive, who may or may not have good intentions, but point is she haaaaas abandonment issues.

She’s now an adherent of the Black Butterfly, Desna’s ‘shadow’, a quasi-diety primarily concerned with matters of loss, separation, anonymity, & charity.

Oh speaking of shadows. She ain’t got one. She had one, but, it was... taken (?) from her when she was a lil wee lass un mysterious circumstances. The immediate fallout of which was the exile of her family as mentioned earlier.

She trained under a human woman named Alma who took her in from Desna’s temple, becoming a surrogate mother and introducing her to the faith of the Black Butterfly.

But, being an adolescent elf with a human surrogate mother, Alma wound up aging well from middle-age to her natural death just in time for Liathana to strike out on her own as a young adult. Her last words encouraging her to seek out answers to the dark and occult mystery surrounding her past. The destination: a plutocratic necropolis, large and sprawling above and underground, primarily inhabited by intelligent undead. After all, vampires don’t cast shadows either, so she’d fit right in...

She developed two identities to grasp onto influence and discover leads within this strange land. One, that of ‘Lia’, a friendly, goofy, and outgoing florist running an above-the-boards business, catering to a specific niche: colorful flowers aren’t exactly common in the gloomy city and the mire it resides in. But they’re a lucrative status symbol and gift for special occasions. She’s even got a permit for a magically sunlit greenhouse! ...that took a while to acquire, but now her business is bustlin!

The second, Reverie Star. Named such to reflect that in the dark of night she embodies her waking dream, a wistful longing to grasp the truth and find her way. In this guise she is taciturn and reserved, focused on her goals immediate and long term. A silent champion of goodwill and charity to the good and destitute people in this dark city, and discerning mercenary in search of hidden and lost secrets.

She has since been mistaken, as Reverie, for a vampire thrall that killed an employer of the party’s. Fitting in with the vampires, indeed... but, while the true assailant may have slipped away after an unsuccessful chase, the party has managed to pull some strings, did some favors to lay low and keep ourselves from being wanted. She is intent, however, on bringing this murderer to justice

Speaking of those favors, in the midst of that, one of her party members died! Boy was that a shock to the system. He has since been brought back, first as an undead temporarily, and just recently to proper life. But, still, considering how FRAGILE she actually (10 con, d8 hitdie, frontliner. Oh ye living on the edge) is when it comes to taking hits, to see her compatriot just eat shit was startling.

And getting that party member back to life was a whole ordeal that involved going to a library that-just-so-happened to have an entrance to the PLANE OF SHADOW in it. That was a fun jaunt. Sure did nearly die a few times in those escapades. But, she actually found a major clue to her past! A magic book that trapped some of her partymates’ shadows upon our messin with it. A powerful item that can bring out the shadows stored within to temporarily serve the bearer of the book. It’s possible her own shadow was taken so long ago with such a tome, and that it’s been trapped in such pages for nearly a century. No guarantee, but... it’s a lead. and a powerful asset to the team.

Finally. it’s worth mentioning. here since it fit no where else. SHE IS SHORT FOR AN ELF. A meager 5′6″. Literally the shortest possible from the random table. just a cute factoid

#d&d #pathfinder #elf #my ocs

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some-flyleaves · 6 years

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Impromptu media thoughts of the day, two for the price of one: graphic novels by Alan Moore, Watchmen and V for Vendetta. Major spoilers ahead, if people need spoiler alerts for graphic novels from the 80s.

People have written really deep and long essays about both, but here’s my discombobulated twenty cents (in bullet point format because I fucking love bullet point infodumping):

Read Watchmen first, for a variety of reasons included but not limited to:

First heard about it ages ago as if not an influence then for major parallels to The Incredibles, which is one of my favorite movies. I think I was aware of Watchmen's presence at my local library for a good while, but flipping open to a random page and seeing a technicolor old-style comic kinda lost me right off the bat. (I’m still not super partial to the art style in either graphic novel, actually, but they’ve grown on me.)

More recently I watched the 2000 X-Men movie, and not gonna lie, it was actually pretty good. Not stellar enough to warrant a post-movie thoughtdump like this, and granted I don’t go into superhero films with high expectations on the rare occasions I watch at all, but y’know. If I remember correctly this was also an influence on The Incredibles and it sure as hell shows. Also, Rogue deserved better.

You’d think that this means I picked up Watchmen because of an Incredibles kick, right? (Saw that too recently, was good but not as much as the original & with post-movie hype having died down it miiight not stand up to rewatch, I’ll see.) That... might’ve been a factor, sure.

Mostly I just noticed it in the recent return pile along with a note on the back about it being a MUST-READ for graphic novel fans, and since I’m interested in the comic medium and all, why not. Also, work was slow. Funny how stuff works out.

ANYWAY point is I read that one comic with the bloody smiley face on the cover, and you know what? It took about two days and three reading sessions (short one at work, shorter one at home, then a long dedicated few hours within the week) and I was fucking wrecked. You know, the “just read a damn good book/watched a damn good movie/consumed some good fucking media, what do you mean I gotta continue with life as normal” buzz? That, but with a graphic novel.

I’ve mentioned before that I have a weird habit of spoiling myself before I even get into something, whether it means reading the Wikipedia plot summary or reading a sentence in the middle of a book, even skipping to the end of a book and skimming the last paragraph if the middle sentence hooked me. For Watchmen this translated to knowing right off the bat that some big weird scifi thing was involved, and there was a Moment between two characters right before then that packed a punch even without context. It took the longest time for either of these to become clear as I read proper, and once I realized who those two characters were... oh. O u c h.

Somehow I managed to not do this with V for Vendetta. I kinda wish it’d been the other way around, in retrospect, but oh well. Both were solid reads, though I liked Watchmen more.

okay personal anecdotes/context aside NOW for the actual review-y thoughts

Despite the Incredibles comparisons, I didn’t actually find Watchmen very similar, nor would I call Incredibles a retelling. In Watchmen, “superheroes” are outlawed and all, but there’s like... two characters with actual powers. One of them is just “I am really smart (and have remarkable reflexes, but then so does Vendetta guy and there’s no supernatural influence in that story).” Instead it’s an alternate history where something something Vietnam and Nixon and it’s the 80s, and jesus christ was the Cold War “we could literally blow up any day now” atmosphere palpable.

There were definitely a few moments where I’d read a scene and be like, “shit, was this really what the 80s were like?” both because A) hey, we almost DID blow up the goddamn planet, and B) general fraught “everything’s fucked, world is ending” atmosphere still rings too goddamn true today. The ending also leaves me with a distinct sense of dread, like that’s the shit that’ll need to happen for us to get our shit together, if only for a little while.

It’s not a happy story, no. Having read a few of the aforementioned scholarly articles on Watchmen, I guess this kicked off the current generation of gritty superhero comics--even though when Watchmen came out, it was revolutionary in NOT being a technicolor happy-go-lucky hero-always-wins moral romp. (Again, superhero comics ain’t my forte.) That said, Watchmen is clearly not being dismal and cynical just for the heck of it. It conveys this with the subtlety of a sledgehammer at times, but an overarching narrative judgment is thankfully absent, leaving readers to draw their own conclusions. Love me some moral ambiguity.

On that note, characters are well-drawn (both in terms of psychological profiles and actual illustration), and while I wasn’t inspired to get too deep into any of their motivations or the like, Rorschach was... something. His identity reveal was a little anticlimactic (as were... lots of the backstory exposition sections, in retrospect), but necessary. Twenty bucks says he’s autistic. I feel like there’s something to be said about Irish-American discrimination and Rorscach but that is by no means my area of expertise, so just throwin’ the thought out there.

Between this and V for Vendetta, Moore really likes social rejects turned masked vigilantes, huh? Vendetta frames V (Guy Fawkes mask dude) as more a symbol than a character; he has a backstory too, but not once is his face shown, and it works.

That said, I just found something kinda... lacking, about Vendetta. Maybe it’s the fact I couldn’t tell half the characters apart and spent most sections not focused on V and Evey wanting to get back to them. Like Watchmen, Vendetta is set in an alternate history (or, er, near-future given when the comic was actually written/published), but whereas Watchmen scatters historical details throughout the narrative via character development and intriguing tie-in snippets, Vendetta kinda just dumps them unceremoniously when needed. It’s... meh.

Well, at least I can say I know what the Guy Fawkes mask as a revolutionary/counterculture symbol originated from. And I did like the little identity twist at the end, much as I saw it coming. (By the way, is that “reports of my death were exaggerated” line from a different piece of media? I could’ve sworn I heard it before but heck if I know where; Google suggests Mark Twain but that doesn’t ring a bell.)

Also, while it could be total coincidence, I kinda wouldn’t be surprised if this influenced Naoki Urasawa’s Monster somehow. (Monster spoilers ahead.) For one thing my first impression of Evey was “fuck, that’s Nina Fortner in dystopian Britain,“ but both stories are set on a backdrop of genocide and feature a character who went through extensive... examination & later broke out in a plot that encompassed the deaths of nearly everyone involved. Said character also has a fucked up relationship with Nina/Evey that involves psychologically screwing with her in an attempt to make her see things his way. (Or, uh, I think that’s what Johann was up to? It’s been a while.) Fun stuff!

Watchmen ends with a very, VERY bittersweet reflection of humanity, and Vendetta draws the curtain on the spark of revolution. Both are impactful in their own rights but the first seems much more relevant today, at least to me as a contemporary American. Also, I can kinda see why Anonymous picked up the Guy Fawkes mask even though vigilante justice isn’t quite what V was going for.

Art-wise, though, Vendetta wins. Rather than cleanly outline everything it makes copious use of negative space and bold inks, foregoing outlines where color contrast will do, and I might mess around with a mimcry some time because got dang does it get that dramatic, noir-esque mood cross. (Watchmen does too at times, but not throughout the whole book. It’s also a matter of clean flats vs semi-blotchy watercolors.)

They are both firmly on my hypothetical list of stories to revisit a few years down the road, because why not, but even if I never get around to that I’m glad I read ‘em at least once.

I end this bulletpoint text wall by saying you should check both graphic novels out if you have a few hours to spare and are game for some challenging psychological thrillers; they earned notoriety for a reason.

Watchmen will take your faith in humanity and hold it over a pit of rabid dogs, but it’s up to you whether or not it drops. It has its gentler moments, but you’ll probably be reading for the themes and mystery above all else. Also, comic people take note--there are some great choices in the imagery and paneling. It probably is worth reading just for the visual storytelling.

V for Vendetta is almost more of a superhero story than Watchmen, hooking you on the identity of its central character but leaving on a universal political moral. Don’t let the smiley mask fool you--this one might not challenge your goodwill as much, but it will throw demoralizing events at you one after the other, for a payoff that holds greater meaning in the bigger picture than anywhere. Again, wasn’t my favorite, but you too can finally understand why Guy Fawkes masks seem to be a symbol of Chaotic Neutral (or Good or Evil, depending on political leaning).

Anyway, what do you think of my desktop?

#nothin like having tumblr open fullscreen to say I Am Procrastinating #as usual there's not a Thesis to this or anything just -dumps everything onto keyboard and publishes it without editing-#.rtf #also scratch what I said about readmores a while back #turns out scrolling through my own darn blog is a bit of a pain :V

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starfiresupernova · 6 years

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11 Questions

I was tagged by both @jiyamarrii & @chasethesun18 to do this, so I’ll be answering 22 questions. But I love these things so I’m totally okay with it LOL. Anyway, let’s get started!

Laura’s Questions

1. Marvel or DC? TV-Verse or Film-Verse? Why? — The easy answer to this question is that I like all superhero stuff. I tend to watch more Marvel, but I’m a big fan of both. MCU? Yes please. Smallville? Sign me up. I haven’t watched the Marvel Netflix shows yet, but I really want to. Cloak and Dagger on Freeform is pretty good so far! I watched the first two seasons of Arrow and most of the Flash, but since the CW added all the other DC shows to their programming, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, but they’re still good! So yeah, long story short, I like it all :)

2. I’m looking for new TV shows to watch. Recommend me a show and tell me why you think I’d like it. — I can’t remember if you’ve watched Gilmore Girls or not, but I recommend it to everyone who wants something funny and heartwarming, but heartbreaking sometimes, too. Lorelai is my SPIRIT ANIMAL. Otherwise, I recommend Lost in Space on Netflix if you’re into Sci-Fi stuff (it’s also funny, and the characters are amazing). One Tree Hill is amazing if you’re into soapy teen dramas (like 90210 or Gossip Girl). The awesome thing about OTH though, is that it’s obviously drama, but it deals with other serious topics and it isn’t bitchy like GG. The characters are all different in their own way, and it’s my favorite teen drama show of all time.

3. Watch a random episode of Timeless. Tell me your opinions on the episode and I’ll try to guess which episode you watched. — Okay, so I know each episode like the back of my hand, so let’s go. It’s my second favorite episode of the entire show. The music is A+. (You’ve probably already guessed it by now lolol.) It has one of my top 5 favorite Lucy outfits. I’ve seen this episode so many times I’m pretty sure I can almost recite it word for word (and I’m not sorry about that).

4. Do you have a skin care routine? If yes, what is it? — Not really. I don’t use much on my skin to tell you the truth. I use the St. Ives Blackhead Clearing green tea scrub every other day, and once in a while I’ll use a Biore charcoal pore strip. Other than that I don’t use anything.

5. What are your favorite pair of shoes? Why? — This might sound completely childish, but I LOVE my shoes that have daisies on them. I got them at Payless, and they’re Minnie Mouse brand, but they’re black with little daisies printed on them and I love them so much. I need a new pair soon because they’re a few years old and they’re worn, but I love them to death.

6. What is your phone wallpaper? What is your desktop wallpaper? — My lock screen on my phone is a picture I found on Google Images of Timeless. It’s blue and has the Time Team and the Timeless logo with a cloud. My home screen on my phone is a cotton candy-esque background. My desktop wallpaper is the Timeless edit I made with the Taylor lyric “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.”

7. If you could have dinner with one person, dead, alive, or fictional, who would it be and why? — I really want to say Lorelai Gilmore (or anyone from Gilmore Girls, honestly..) for this one. Eating at Luke’s Diner? Yes. Please. I’m all in.

8. What’s your favorite smell? Why? — This is very oddly specific, but I have this notebook that I got for Christmas last year. And every book/notebook/paper smells good, but THIS NOTEBOOK. It’s my favorite kind of paper smell. I know, it’s weird, but it’s amazing. Otherwise I love lemon, vanilla, and peppermint scents and the smell of the grill when we grill hamburgers/hot dogs.

9. Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are they? Do you regret any of them? — I do not have any tattoos, but I want to get one in the near future.

10. What is your horoscope for today? — Jun 11, 2018 - You enjoy caring for others and you intervene regularly in their lives to guide them. Ironically, today you're the one who needs advice. You'll probably need to get away from it all in order to get a clear view of your own life, Leo. You could even decide to make the necessary arrangements for a trip abroad.

11. Beards: Yes or No? — UM YES.

(OBVIOUSLY I NEEDED TO INCLUDE WYATT’S MAGICAL BEARD)

I also love Xavier from No Tomorrow, Hugh Jackman, and John Krasinski. Their beards are also pretty magical.

Ryan’s Questions

1. If a book becomes a movie do you read it or watch it first? — Most of the time I don’t realize a movie was a book until after I see it. And then I always end up liking the movie better. (IE the Twilight saga) I always try to read the book first, but sometimes I’ll just watch the movie.

2. What’s your favorite Disney movie? — OOH OKAY LET’S GO. Tangled is my favorite all-animated Disney movie. Meet the Robinsons comes at a second. Enchanted is my all-time favorite Disney movie EVER. My Favorite Martian is my favorite all-non-animated Disney movie. Also The Princess Diaries comes at a close second.

3. If you could have one superpower what would it be? — If I got to choose I would want to have telekinesis. Matilda has solidified that dream LOL.

4. Do you believe in soul mates? — I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. I don’t like to think that there’s only ONE person in the entire world that I’m meant to be with, and that they’re my other half. I mean, it’s a nice concept, but also I feel like I would just be too worried that I won’t ever meet my soulmate because it could literally be anyone in the entire universe. I’m meh on the subject.

5. What’s your happiest memory? — Honestly I think my most happy memories are when I was really little, like in early elementary school? Like, ages 5-11 is when I think I was most happy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy now and whatever, but I have more responsibility now and I was more carefree back then. One memory that sticks out is Christmas of 2010. I got my DSi XL and I was at my grandparents house with all of my cousins. We played around on the DS and took pictures, and I still have them saved on it. The very first picture I ever took on it. It was just such a happy time for me, and I love thinking back on it.

6. Most embarrassing memory? — I threw up in front of my entire classroom in 4th grade. It was terrible. And it happened so long ago, but I still can’t get over the fact that there are people my age who saw me throw up on the floor of our classroom. Nope. Let me go hide forever LOL.

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? — I don’t really like to plan that far ahead into the future, but in five years I’d like to be moved out of my parents’ house and working on getting my book published. (I’m still working on writing it at the moment, so hopefully I’ll be done with it by then and in the process of finding it a home.)

8. Who is/has been the most influential person in your life? — I have to go with my parents on this one. But only personality-wise. I’m not interested in what my parents do for a living, but I try to model my work-ethic and values after them. I’ve obviously grown my own personal tastes, but I see more of myself in them every day and I’m very proud of that.

9. If you could time travel to the start of this year and tell yourself something what would you tell yourself? — You won’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay. You’ll be pressured, but take things at your own pace. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure things out, no matter what everyone is telling you. You’ll get to where you want to be, you just have to take your time, and set your own pace.

10. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? — Wow, okay, this is going to sound lame. Are y’all ready? I stole a toy camera from Goodwill when I was, like, 6. I wanted it but I didn’t think my dad would let me, so I hid it in my coat pocket and never told anyone. That was literally the first thing that came to mind..

11. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? — I love that I don’t waver in my enjoyment of things. My sister mainly, always makes fun of me for wearing what I wear, for reading, and for listening to the kind of music that I listen to, but I’m very proud of all of those things and I don’t let it bother me. Yeah, it gets annoying when she tells me my taste in music sucks, but I will very happily listen to Two Weeks Late by Ashley Monroe at a high volume and sing along proudly. No shame. As Jessica Day so proudly states, “I break for birds! I rock a lot of polka-dots. I have touched glitter in the past twenty-four hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird and it freaks me out. And I’m sorry I don’t like Murphy Brown, and I hate your pantsuit; I wish it had ribbons on it or something to just make it slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I‘m not smart and tough and strong.”

Thanks for the tag, guys! This was fun :)

#personal #get to know me #tags

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alkwritesthings-blog · 6 years

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This was originally a prompt from @writing-prompts-s Shout out to @caffeinewitchcraft and all the amazing writers on @writeblr for the courage to put my writing up here

writing-prompt-s

You’re a mystic who runs a shop full of mysterious artifacts and potions and you’re sick of uninformed middle-aged suburban moms asking for energy crystals and herbal weight-loss mixtures while throwing around made-up terms.

She had spent a lot of time trying to get the aesthetic just right in her shop. Owning a small business was no joke, and even less so when you were a real psychic pretending to be a fake one pretending to be a real one. Getting the vibe just right was critical.

The crystals, candles, herbs, scarf hung over one window were all things that made it easier for her to do her own work.

The posters on the walls, the odd goodwill books and knick knacks in the shitty bookshelves, that was for show.

The old-fashioned looking business ledger seemed like a great touch, and even though she worried that the feather taped to the biro was too much, she left it as it was.

The rest of her business could be summarized easily with “just go with it,” so why limit herself when it came to a feather and a pen?

She had spray painted the side of her shop with a few symbols that felt like they could be vaguely occult: the Triforce symbol from Zelda, that pyramid thing with the eye on top, a simple five-pointed star, all black and dripping and the effect was great.

That, with the sign that read “PSYCHIC. For all your Fortune Telling Needs,” she felt like she was pretty set.

Things went fine for a while.

A mother who came in wanting to know the omens for her children.

Pictures of the children, a scruffy dark haired boy, an older girl with piercing eyes, a tiny baby in a bright green shirt, and she set out a piece of burned wood, a chunk of hematite, a little stub of green candle. A few muttered words, holding the picture with one hand and the woman’s hand with the other, she could feel wisps of future as the feeling of gentle fingernails tracing a path down her back, fleeting tastes of bright color in her mouth, brief, brisk images like spouting, gurgling water from a hose. It was hard work that left her dizzy for days and made it hard to concentrate for hours after, but she had spent her life stubbornly hanging onto and figuring out how to interpret these flashes of sensation and darts of movement and feeling and sight.

The baby was fine, the little girl would seek out her passions for art and music and should be encouraged, the boy with the dark hair -- something dark and fleeting, burning her tongue with blackness and splashing the backs of her mind with an oozing, crawling feeling -- she should keep an eye on her scruffy-haired son.

Little abuela who came in every week to talk to her sisters who had passed. “Lo siento, abuelita. No puedo hablar con los muertos.” Yes, of course I can do a palm reading. She dug in the dish on her table for a piece of shiny brown stone with a thread of gold wound throughout, and took the old woman’s hands. Strong will, the smell of corn and the taste of something delicious in her mouth that Elena herself had never tasted and didn’t have a name for. Strong hands, hands that had held children, but never grandchildren. Elena felt something, traced a scar in the side of one of the woman’s hands, trying to focus on that feeling, reaching out, and finally felt a touch of lightness like the feeling of a piece of down-feather landing on your outstretched fingertip, or popping a soap bubble on your finger. She told the woman that one of her daughters was expecting a baby, and wanted to speak with her about naming the baby after one of her sisters. The woman left, much happier than when she had arrived.

There were smaller things, lost things needing to be found (a few black candles lit and ink spilled on rough paper helped focus, helped her trace the ‘maps’ in her mind. All lost things wanted to be returned to where they belonged, after all).

A lost dog that she had to tell the mother with her eyes (and not speak aloud to the woman’s young boy who sat at her table) had been hit by a car, and was dead three streets away from their house.

She had no notion of reading tarot cards or speaking with the dead, and kept people who asked such things out of her shop.

She’d been making a tidy sum of money, and had been slowly growing her reputation. Oh, I heard you knew of Mrs. Martinez’ granddaughter, can you tell me if I’m pregnant? I heard you found Hayden’s mom’s phone, can you find mine?

When a man strode into her shop, his expression full of purpose, she expected another recommendation via word of mouth.

Instead, the man strode right up to her counter and demanded to see her paperwork. He wore slacks, and a suit jacket, more formally dressed than anyone else she’d seen in her shop.

Elena straightened her shoulders and pulled her ledger from beneath the counter. She had a license to run her small business in the same space as she lived (she was the only employee), a form in her name for how taxes would be taken for the work she did, as well as a list of each customer (with a few who had insisted upon aliases, which she had agreed to do), what service they had requested, and how much she had charged them. “I beg your pardon, sir,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even. Elena hated confrontation, but she had all of her paperwork in order. She was in her own shop, and on firm ground here.

He interrupted, barely glancing down at the tidy stack of documents tucked into a pocket of the ledger. “Where is your license to practice magic, silly girl. I’ve felt you from clear across the city since you tracked my boy, and I demand to see your registration!”

Elena felt a chill run down her spine. There were always more powerful psychics. Life was like nature, in that way. You always thought you were the tiger or the bear, but you weren’t. There was always a better psychic than you. But she’d never met anyone else who was one, had done her research on the internet and learned to keep her head down. She had thought this shop was the perfect cover. She glanced up at the man and saw he was glancing around her shop, and that he rolled his eyes at her shelf of random crap she’d found.

She glared at him, straightened again. She might not have been as good of a psychic as him, but she was no silly girl, and he had no right to demand to see anything. “Where’s your registration, sir?” She asked, and although her voice quavered as she asked the question, she kept her shoulders back as he looked at her.

He snorted, and Elena forced herself to keep her mouth from falling open as he rolled his eyes and withdrew a large wallet from one pocket of his suit jacket, and with a practiced flip, opened it. A document the size of an 8.5 by 11 piece of paper, decked with seals, proclaimed Apollo P. Smith to be a Licensed and Registered Wizard of the State, permitted to Conduct Business and Pursue Spellwork as the Law Allowed.

Now it was Elena’s turn to snort at him. “Well Mr. Smith,” she said, all her nervousness vanishing. Her brother was a pro-level bullshitter, and she knew how to handle this type of thing. “I must have let mine lapse. I’m ever so sorry to have interfered with your boy…” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but it was only in service to the peak amount of sarcasm and fake-deference she put in her tone and facial expression.

He snapped the wallet back in place, the document folding neatly. “See that you re-certify. Pesky brat has been insufferable since he sensed your presence. I had him convinced I was the only possible magical teacher in the area, and he’s been...trying my patience… since he felt your connection to his mother. Do not interfere in my work again, and I won’t report you to the Board.” The man tucked the wallet back into his suit jacket, and without waiting for a response, stalked out of Elena’s shop.

Elena’s mouth fell open. As she struggled to process what she’d heard, she dug for her phone in the shelf below her counter.

She had a lot to look up, and the first thing she typed into the window was ‘psychic versus magic user.’

It was going to be a long night of reading.

#this is my version #alkwritesthings #originalfiction #writing-prompt-s #original character #elena

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