#i feel so pathetic cause i still cant tell her to leave me alone and am terrified of her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freshlyrage · 6 months

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Ummm I made a mistake...

Okay yall I completely forgot to add an entire part of chpater 18 to my upload last night. It's now added but if you'd like to just read it alone it takes place just after Gina knocks on the door to Javi and Andrea's hotel room. Here is the full chapter

Sorry omg:

Javier briefly looks over his shoulder, realizing its a lost cause he couldn't see you this way. Gina stands in front of him, a hand running through her long black hair. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the office. Javier felt a sense of pride for his goofy coworker who managed to pull someone like Gina. Javier had drunkenly asked her out on a date during a break with Lorraine and she had called him a baby, letting him down easy. He was burned at the moment but he appreciates it now because he wouldn't be here with you. Instead he'd drag another woman along his pathetic loop of secretly pining for you. She flashes her ring to him, its a shiny thing. Felipe, that bastard, made a significantly larger amount than Javier yearly.

“Honestly amazing, I heard that Felipe told you. ” She beams, retreating her hand to her side. Her eyes peering behind you.

Javier smiles, “Yes, congrats. He's a lucky man.” Feeling watched and uncomfortable with talking to any other woman other than you. What's gotten into him? Cant even have a friendly conversation with a woman. It's silent for a moment, she gives him an awkwards thin lipped smile before her lips cracking into a bashful smile. His brows furrow, “What?”

“Okay I hate to be nosy–but Felipe told me you came here with someone and I just wanted to… I don't know… extend out an invitation?” She exhales and crosses her arms. Javi’s brow arches.

“Invitation?” He knows he should tone it down, if you were next to him right now he is sure you would have pinched and murmured something about being nice. You don't know that everyone is used to his stern ways, viejo, they called him in the office. Next to his list of other names.

“Yes um,” She chuckles nervously, Javier is shocked you haven't walked over and slapped him for making the poor woman nervous. “The wives are getting drinks at the patio bar while you all have your meeting, so–well unless you wouldn't want her–” Javier quirks a brow again, “Sorry– I’m just inviting the girl for some drinks.”

“I'd love to.” You call, Javier turns watching you adjust your dress strap as you stalk towards them from the corner of the room. He couldn't help but smile at you padding over with a sweet smile, nothing short of innocence. As expected you pinch his bicep while you smile at Gina. “What time are you heading down?”

Gina’s smile widens at the sight of you too, “Oh wow, you're so beautiful. In an hour.”

Javier Looks between the two of you, watching your face light up at the complement. He should tell you that more, you absolutely shine at the gesture. Your cheeks are pink and shiny, “Oh gosh–thank you, I mean so are you. We should shower.” You look at Javi. His dick twitches at the suggestion.

His voice died with his croak of, “Of course.”

Gina giggled, “Yeah… I'll leave you to it.” She waves goodbye and exits.

Javier looks down at you with absolute adoration while you keep a pondering grin on your face. You keep an indolent smile while you walk back towards the bed. Javi follows, peeling off his shirt while you take off your dress again leaving nude. Your breasts littered with tiny red bruises, nipples still swollen and peaked. Padding over to luggage placed on the dresser by the porters, you bend over to unzip the thing. Giving him a full view of your puffy lips, glistening still from his own seed. If he didn't have places to be he’d bend you over full and eat you out like this until you collapsed. “She seems really sweet.” You let out a pleased murmur once you find your towel. Your smile deepening once you turn to catch Javier staring at you, on an ego trip of him enjoying the view, you brush your hair behind your shoulders to give him a better view of your chest.

He was absolutely obsessed with you.

“She is, you showering with me?” He unbuckles his pants again, matching your bare body. You blush at the sight of him naked, he’s half hard again at the concept of you still being shy around his naked body when you had him slapping his cock onto your tongue just an hour ago.

Your eyes are steady on his length but you resist, “Yes, no funny business. I'd like to be able to walk downstairs later.” You leave a small pat on his back as you make your way to the bathroom.

He follows like a lost puppy, he was hard but every thing you did turned him on so he couldnt be upset with you not wanting to fuck just yet. “Yes ma'am.”

You step up into the shower, leaving the glass door open for him. The bathroom was oddly pretty, tan mosaic tile lining up the floor, lights dim. The sound of pattering water fogging the room as he sets down his towel next to yours. You let out a moan once the water hits you, “I'll give you a hand job if you give me a neck rub. Fuck that car ride did a number on me, so did you fucking me doggy!” You shout over the water. Javi shakes his head and steps in.

The sight of you with your head back, dripping in water is better than any other thing his sinful eyes have ever laid eyes on.

“Deal.”

#fic!rlw #javier peña #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #javier peña smut #ao3 #fanfic #javier peña narcos #javier pena x reader

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mispronouncing-michaelangelo · 2 years

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cw: vent, im talking about my mum and escaping her

its been 4 years (as of tomorrow) since i was able to get out of my mothers house, and i,, i dont really know how i feel about that,,, im still so angry at so many people, and im still so lost and so detatched from the whole family because of what she did, and those are bonds im truely starting to believe i will never be able to rebuild even though i left that place when i was 18,, and im just, im so upset that even now shes still taking my impotant things from me, and i cant have back all the things ive lost,,, and ive come to terms with some things,, i never experienced most of my teenage years due to her, i still struggle with things that should be easy, i had to drop out of uni before i even started,, but its the family that hurts the most,, cause theyre thinking feeling people who could just,, look inwards, and the fog might clear,,, i might just be able to be seen as just another bistander and not some horific accomplise they think i was,, i plauge the family and they can see the blood on my hands but i didnt do anything wrong!!! i just had to survive, i didn't hurt anyone t-t i made so sure i didnt t-t the only person i hurt was my brother and i did that on purpose because he left me alone in that house knowing full well what would happen to me,, when i was already down and alone he walked out too and then i couldnt escape and im so angry at him but hes a part of all i have left and i love him so much and he did nothing wrong and i know he needed to protect him and his partner,, but i stg he could've warned me,, mum was always going to be as she was and he knew t-t thats why he had to leave, so why couldnt he tell me,, why did they all believe i was on her side, why do they still believe that,, and how do i tell them im not?? how do i rebuild the trust?? i cant undig myself and everyone around me from the years of gaslighting and manipulation,, i literally cannot tell whats true about those years and what isnt and i dont know if i was bad but i didnt try to be, i tried so hard to care for those i loved and i dont think i hurt them, i didnt try to i didnt want to, i dont know why they think i did and i cant ask, theres too much to unpack, none of us can ask,, talking about it calls it back, mentioning our mother sparks her interest back into all of us, i will say something to my brother and it will slip through the grapevine till shes messaging me, and theres no level of secrecy we can keep that will stop her, i cannot fix it, i can never fix it, i just need to accept it, i just need to remember the family i have and love, and its just,,, its all so much and it feels so heavy and so alone and i didn't want any of this to happen, i just wanted to survive,, but pray tell why some of my brothers still speak to her,,, but not me?? what did i do?? what have they been told ive done?? do they blame me for choosing to live? i just need them to say it, to say they hate me for breaking her pathetic heart more then they wanted to see me alive and happy,, just give me the statement and the closure to leave them behind too,, i will,, if i have too,,, ill keep myself safe, tucked away in my dark little den when she cant find me,, ill be okay i just need to know,,, i just want to know,,

#dis meh #personal #12/5/2022 #dont rb #cw: abuse #cw: vent #long post #im okay dont worry i just need it out of my system #i 100% will still be talking about this tomorrow #and possibly even just later tonight

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behindbrowneyezz · 9 months

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It's funny how time changes things isnt it? One minute you're super close to everyone around you, you're busy with work, extra activies, extra chores, maybe you try to sleep in an extra few days that month...then before you know so many things have changed. I feel bad that tomorrow is Indys birthday tomorrow and no one is really trying to hang out. I just feel like over the last year shes done nothing but expect us all to do what SHE wants...now everyone's tired and dont want to go and spend a ton of money on a night out when we can be at home doing the same for not even half the price. I love her, but life is hard as it is. WHY can't she be a better friend to us all? I'll never get it. Weve all been so nice to her as well and i think she just MUST have control, but the thing is we all just want to be able to be ourselves. I feel bad, i feel like Sarah is always going to break down and do what she wants...even Fernando. Im pretty sure that's why she gets upset with me, because the second i feel like youre trying to be in control of me..or make me feel less then, i just wont come around. Its actually that simple for me. I have such a hard time being around most women that are older then me. I also feel like mr. dub is literally constantly lying to me. I cant stand it. Ive never met someone so exhausting to be around besides my own blood relatives. i suppose that's used to draw me to him. I used to love how much he reminds me of my father. ..now all it does is stress me out. Its a drag actually. Looking back im not even sure why i clinged on so tight, besides the fact that he truly reminds me of my dad. the devil. I hope one day i can forgive them both for all the pain they have caused me over the years. It's even more exhausting to constantly relive through all that pain. I think my dad used to be one hell of a man. He was full of courage, love, and excitement. He hated people but he would give the shirt off his back if he felt like he should. Sometimes i wonder what really happened in his head in 2010...what made him so unhappy all of a sudden...was it really his marriage to Angela? Was it money? Did he really hate all of us at home all the time? or did he hate the fact that we weren't home enough? I wish he wouldn't of shoved me away so much. Some days its hard to love myself because i wonder why he raised me to be someone he was going to hate for the rest of his life. Its funny too, considering he never can go a week without talking his mommy. Yet, he expects his own children to be able to live a life without him, any guidance, etc. I wish i didn't hate him, I wish i could just forget about him completely. Anyway, more on that later...

Also, why the fuck are men so God damn gross?! AND fucking just pathetic most days. I truly dont get it. NO one wants to see you little dick, no one wants to hear about your stupid fantasies, no one gives a fuck about what you look like without a shirt and pants on. I mean good grief....The amount of guys that grossly still hit me up from high school...talking about 'wow i would love to see you, ya know i had a big crush on you back then' like yea yea yea sure sure sure...baby go get off somewhere else and leave me alone. I find it sad. Maybe guys really do have that hard of a time to find someone that they can sleep with on the regular...but truthfully they shouldnt be hitting people up from 10 years ago because they are horny. Its disgusting and sad. SO SO sad. Yall need Jesus. Well thats all for now, im going to go shower and maybe cut my babies hair. <3

you're loved, you dont need your dad or any other man for that matter to tell you otherwise. IM sorry people have always let you down, maybe one day when youre gone, they will actually miss you. stay strong, keep smiling, and for the love of God, finish the lost boy tonight.

XO, Ashh

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dumbbitchfrommars · 1 year

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i really wonder what the context was of my last post. cause if it was about the girl who had a crush on me thats unfortunate. but if its someone else im gagged. im such a baddie. idk. idk. i think recently ive been in such a defensive state. like im waiting for something bad to happen at the hands of another person, and im expecting the absolute worst from them. i want to see the best but i also dont want to get hurt. i dont know where this stemmed from. i guess my people pleasing has gotten out of hand, because it hasnt been succeeding.

my job is kind lowering my vibration beyond repair. i weirdly enjoy it though? i dont know. i must be too in my masculine. and of course, completely disconnected from my spirit and higher self. i cant bring myself to talk to my sister cause i know we will only trigger eachother.

so here i am. sitting in the silence. tired of it all.

i cant even bring myself to physically write in my journal. and working out isnt as meditative as it used to be. though im so glad i can still get my ass up and do it. its not as fun and exciting. i kinda feel guilty for sexualising myself and loving my own body. literally, yesterday i was trying to force myself to be comfortable with my skin out, that i ruined my opportunity for a relaxing walk. the entire time i was self conscious and felt like the entire world was watching me. completely uncomfortable.

my anxiety is in a rough period at the moment. i dont even smoke weed anymore. that used to be such a spiritual practice for me and now im afraid of it. im kinda afraid of everything. especially people.

its weird, because i seem like i love people. i tell myself im good because i am so social at work, and i perform well and i connect with customers. but in reality, i cant hold onto any kind of relationship. if i do it has to be superficial or im uncomfortable.

i think if i shifted my focus to the good things about the relationships i do have, and the things that make me happy and comfortable and at peace, these issues im creating wont seem so huge anymore. its always like that. i should talk to my psych about all of this. i need to see her... i cant believe its been so long. like, my fucking dogs died. they both fucking died.

they contributed to my focus on isolation at the moment. i suddenly had the ground pulled from beneath me. they were my stability and my safety. now i feel so alone, at my core, that its all i can think about. its made me realise how short life is and how quickly things can change and slowly everyone is slipping away... when i pushed them out. i forced them to leave. theyre barely even leaving when we were nothing to begin with.

i get the feeling ive said all of this a million times before. it never really changes.

i feel like im a really driven and motivated person. i am smart and self controlled, and responsible, and im good at the things i try my best at. im gifted. but at the same time, i cant change the things about me that cause me the most stress and worry. i am stuck. i have been stuck, for so, so long. im tired of it. im so TIRED.

this loneliness is comforting. its healing in a way, cause i can avoid all the drama and stress of attempting to tell anyone how i am feeling. but that in itself is so fucking pathetic and toxic and weak. its like, i failed at the most fundamental human thing. communicating. connecting with others. creating a community.

maybe one day someone will piss e off enough that i blow up on everyone. why does the idea of that bring me so much relief?

i cant even bother myself to consider spiritual practice right now. oh im stuck in the past and its holding me back from opportunities and the blessings from the universe? bitch, im trying to fight depression! who gives a fuck about opportunities right now?! i have nothing to fucking live for besides europe. thats so pathetic. i need to get my head right again because this is such a huge mess. im under so much pressure. i have no time. time, time, time, time.

i need to be more social, i need to be more this and that. its a fucking exhausting thing to be in my mind right now. where did all the love go? it literally died with them. grief is consuming me. i cant pause life but its consuming me and im trying to pretend to be happy but im also trying to find the happiness again but its gone. they took it with them into the afterlife. or just into the fucking ground.

it poured so heavily today and my heart hurt with the anxiety i felt that you were cold and alone out there. that you were getting wet and without cover. why does it keep on raining? youll be so cold. i remember you laid in the rain the night before you died because you could barely move or notice it was happening. my poor babies. i miss you so much.

this is why ive been avoiding planning my birthday like a fucking plague, like a fucking disease. how can i even think about celebrating my life when yours have ended? to even celebrate without you? its too painful. i cant pretend like this anymore. but of course ill keep on acting like im fine. its the only way. i fucking hate this world.

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dr4cking · 3 years

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Bad Grade.

masterlist taglist

draco malfoy x reader | smut |

warning : professor!draco 🥵 reader is of age! and you can make up draco's age whatever you wanted.

y/n waited nervously in her class, she was early than the others and it makes her sitting alone in the class.

she had exams last week but she didnt really study for it and that was the exact reason why she was nervous today.

if she got a bad grades her parents would make sure to threatened her.

she looked up from her desk as a loud footsteps walking into the class, she found the youngest and the hottest teacher in hogwarts staring at her deeply, a smirk formed onto his face making her gulped.

"morning, miss y/n" she gets goosebumps when she heard his deep voice calling out her name.

"morning professor.." draco’s smirk get wider as he saw her body tremble in her seat, only his voice and she already like that.

"why so tense, miss y/n?"

"nothing, professor.." she replied, staying her gaze on her desk, trying so hard not to look up at him and get herself in more embarrassment.

draco clicked his tongue around his teeth making her turned her head at him instantly.

he raised his eyebrows at her sudden action.

but when he was about to taunt her more, the door burst open by the students filling the class one by one.

>>>>>

"miss y/n." she looks up at her professor as he called her name, her body jolted out at his voice echoed in the room.

"yes, professor?"

"come here, please." she gets up from her seat nervously, all her classmates already interrogating her by their eyes.

"care to explain to me why you get a P for my subject?" she swears she almost passed out at his intonation.

"i- i'm sorry professor, i wasn't study-"

"great, meet me after class, you need to fix your grade" y/n unknowingly rubbed her thighs together when draco said that, she secretly hoped he doesnt noticed that.

but he did and thats why he was trying to hide his smirk.

"yes professor, i'm sorry" she took her test and made her way back to her seat. hell, he's so intimidating.

>>>>>

after the class ended, y/n being the only one who stayed in her seat.

she sighs and stares at draco's back who was still cleaning the board.

"well, which part of my subject that you dont understand, miss y/n?" draco said as he takes a seat in front of her desk, opening her book.

"its the draught of living death potions, professor." she was trying her best to not let her voice getting shaky.

draco nodded and begin to explaining the subject to her, his fingers were pointing at her book.

but all she could think now is about the tension filling the air, and the more she stares at his fingers the dirtier her mind gets.

his hands-

merlin, even his hands are so hot. the veins decorating his arms suited him so much, and his long fingers are the perfect size to reach her spot when they're going inside her cu-

no.

y/n shook her head in disbelief at what she just imagined in her mind not realizing that draco has stopped talking.

"lost in your dirty mind, princess?" draco chuckles as he sees her cheeks heated in embarrassment, his eyes turned dark as he examining her face.

shit.

she forgot he has legilimency.

"i-"

"sshh.. i see you're not as innocent as the others think of you, yeah?" she gulped at his question, her face was flushed as the thick tension filling the room.

"no answer hm? tell me y/n, what is it that you want?" he rose up from his seat moving to stand beside her, looking down at her.

"tell me whats going on inside your dirty mind" he tilted her head to look up at him, his thumb running on her bottom lip making her shuddered.

"i- i want you, professor.." y/n said quietly not be able to look into his eyes much longer.

"want me? for what?"

"i want you burying yourself deep inside me, professor" she slapped her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened at what she just said.

"filthy little thing." draco chuckles lowly before moving down his hand and grabbed her throat.

"earn it." she nodded at him before her hands shakily unbuckled his belt and his trousers letting it falls down to his ankle making draco gripped her throat tighter.

she pulled down his boxers making him hissed when his semi hard cock hitting his lower abdomen.

she quickly wrapped her hands around his length and squeezes him tightly causing him to pull on her hair.

"dont play with me if you dont wanna face the consequences." she nodded before spitting on his cock stroking it with her hand making him groaned.

y/n wasted no time and pulled him all the way in her mouth moaning when his tip hit the back of her throat.

she starts to fucked him in and out of her mouth. her hand pumping on what she couldnt fit in her mouth.

she pulled out for a second to rest her jaw then she swirls her tongue on his slit making him groaned and bucked his hips. she gagged instantly when draco pushed his cock back in her mouth, tired of her teasing.

"you look so fucking filthy, y/n. sucking your professor's cock now, hm?" she let out a moan to answer him making him whimpered at the vibrations.

one of her hands gripping on the back of his thigh pushing him deeper down her throat as she continues sucking him. her other hand playing with his balls giving them attention too.

"fuck- gonna cum down your throat til you choked out, shit- y/n" he moaned out loud as he shoots his thick cum down her throat, y/n swallowed instantly moaning at the taste. some of it dripped down onto her chin but she quickly wipes it and cleans it.

"get up" she obeyed at his order, now facing her professor at the same level.

draco leaned into her face and capturing their lips together kissing her roughly as his hands roaming around her body.

"get on your desk." she immediately throw away all her things on her desk and get on top of it, like he asked.

"you're my good girl, dont you?" he asked as he stands in between her thighs, his cock rubbing her inner thigh making her clawed on the desk underneath her.

"yes prof-"

"its draco" she nodded as she starts to unbuttoning her shirt showing him her clothed breasts.

"yes draco, i'm your good girl" she said seductively and taking his hands in her guiding them to her breasts.

"please, touch me draco.." draco squeezes her breasts in his hands and snatches her bra off of her making her winced, now she was exposed in front of her professor.

"such a pretty tits, all mine?" he twirled her hard nipples in his fingers, pulling and pinching it making the owner hissed in pain.

"yes, all yours draco.." with that draco latched his mouth onto her left nipple as his hand playing with the other one.

"mmh.. yes draco.." she tugged at his blonde locks as he continues assaulting her puffy nipples.

draco plopped out her breasts of his mouth, her nipples now red and swollen.

he gives her a smirk and he pushed her skirt up to her stomach, taking off her panties placing it in his pocket.

"souvenirs." he grins cheekily at her confused face.

he suddenly inserts his fingers into her, stretching her out a little bit making her breath hitched.

his fingers pumping her faster and when he curls them inside she screams his name out loud.

her legs spasmed when she feels her high approaching her, she dug her nails on his shoulder deeper.

but before she could reach her high, he abruptly pulled out his fingers making her cried out as her aching cunt clenching around nothing.

he quickly shoved his fingers down her throat letting her tasting herself, he moaned when he sees her sucking on her fingers delicately.

pulling her hips closer to him and lining up his now hard cock again on her entrance.

"now be a big girl and lead me into you." y/n whines as a protest but she quickly grabbed his cock and pushing it inside her.

she wrapped her legs around his waist and bucked her hips to get him deeper inside her and finally all of him was inside of her. they both throw their heads back in pleasure.

"you act so innocent yet here you are, burying my cock deep inside you." y/n moaned at his words starting to fuck herself on him.

"i'm not innocent draco, for you i'm not.. please just fuck me already" draco chuckles devilishly at her attempts to bounce on his cock.

"cant even fuck yourself properly, such a dumb girl" he gives in to her, snapping his hips forcing his cock hitting deeper inside her and starts to thrusting at steady pace.

"oh my god.. yes yes please feel so good.." she moans loudly, her body writhing on the desk. she propped herself on her elbows to support herself as she rolled her hips to meet his thrusts.

"so fucking tight baby.. never felt this good before" draco praised as he pounding harder into her, he guides her hips with his hands to meet his thrusts making both of them moaning louder.

her eyes rolled back when his tip brushed her spot, he noticed and pounding into her spot over and over again making her seeing the stars.

"draco please.. i'm so close!" y/n wrapped her hands around his shoulder to pull him closer and kissing his lips to muffled her screams as the coil tightened in her stomach.

"cum on me, you- pathetic- little slut" draco snapped harder leaving no space between their bodies.

his hand slapping and pinching her clit making the girl squirmed letting the coil snapped through her body. her legs are shaking and her vision blurry.

her body burns when she realized she just cummed hard on her professor's cock, she looked down and see that her juices coating him. then looking up at him making eye contact.

"fuck- you're a mess, gonna cum inside your tight cunt, stuffing you up full with my fucking cum- holyshit-"

he came to a full stop with her name left his lips as he spilled all of his warm thick cum inside her, spraying all of it into her filling her up like he said.

draco stay inside her for a few minutes, both of them are still catching their breaths and he pulled out of her gently as he softened.

he looked at her flushed face before cupping her cheeks and reconnecting their lips again. the kiss lasted a minute before they pulled away to redressing themselves.

"i'll change your grade. but in all seriousness, study harder, baby" y/n melted at the nickname he gave her, pecking his lips one more time.

"of course, thank you professor" she shots him a wink before leaving the class, making him blushing madly.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i dedicate this to @angelic-bitxh cuz we have a deal of sharing ghost pics 😊🤝

tagging : @dracoscum @hellounicorn @onyourgoddamnleft @whoreforgeorgeandfred @turn-to-page-394-please @underappreciated-spoon-321 @youreso-golden @silverdelirium @littlemissnoname13 @dracmalf0y-dm @dlmmdl @f4iryluvy @starstruckgranger @yiamalfoy @lieswithoutfairytales @drxcolvr @black-repunzel99 @seriouslyinlove @slut4dracoo @alexthealexthealex

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #professor draco #draco oneshot #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #draco smut #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #harry potter

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beann-e · 3 years

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god imagine if when bakugou has a kid their just like him. like imagine a 6 year old with a sarcastic nasty mouth who just doesn’t give a fuck. Which eventually leads to bakugou getting his ass handed to him. Look here’s a teaser

“ holy sh—fuc—why aren’t you sleeping “

“ why aren’t you sleeping “

“ because I cant sle—- “ a soft cough left the older males mouth as he sat up straighter “ I don’t have to explain anything to you — you little rodent “

“ ro— ro— rodent ? “ the small child’s voice came out in a loud scream as the male in front them shifted in his seat uncomfortably

“ here come on let’s go to mama “

God you had to have been his only way out of this situation

“ mamas sleep “

of course you were.

Of course you were tucked away into the confinement of your own bed recovering from a hard day of work. The soft covers draped over your body while the fan worked wonders around the room.

God your such an asshole , a pathetically beautiful and lucky asshole

“ heh , then why aren’t you? “ the older male deadpanned as he stared down on the child. He let out a small sigh when he didn’t receive an answer “ ok then why don’t we both go to our own rooms and sleep too huh ? how ‘bout that “

“ katsumis sleeping in there “

“ fuck —you just seem to have everybody in your corner huh you little brat“

The room went quiet as he watched the small girl crawl up on the coach using his pants leg as an anchor to help her get up there. Her small legs pushing her up only for her to fall back down because her arms couldn’t pull up the weight of her small body. His mouth opening to let out a sigh before he reached out and pushed the girl up on the couch his hand pushing her butt and sending the girl flying onto the couch like a football.

Only to make her giggle and crawl back over to sit next to him.Body settling in the same position as him with her small chubby legs spread out and her hands placed behind the couch as far as they could go leaving her chest out in the open. A small smile on her face when she noticed she looked just like the male to the right of her. And honestly she did she always did without even trying .

It wasn’t that bakugou hated kids no.

It was just that he would rather be left alone and not be bothered with them. He thought maybe when he grew up and had his own kids that would change but after the birth of your first child together, then the second , and lastly the third he only noticed the small change that occurred.

He could put up with them of course but he always found them annoying mostly because anytime he seen them he had just gotten back home from work. meaning he had to hear them screaming their heads off and fighting with you in a plea to skip bath time while he walked through the door and straight to your shared bedroom

Most of the time he was the disciplinary parent so you can only guess how quickly each of them would fall in line when they all looked up to see the loud footsteps echoing through the house belonged to their father.

His hero uniform still on with his eyes locked on each of theirs in a tired gaze frowning up at him as his right hand carried the belt he’d picked up from his bedroom on the way over to the bathroom.

His face speaking volumes before his mouth did . His right hand only gripping tighter when he thought about how long you had gone with them acting like this and him not being around to stop them from mistaking your exhaustion as submission

You weren’t soft per say but after having 3 kids and taking care of them by yourself you’d grown weak and tired.

Your mean manner and discipline you thought you had set up in your house only withered away more and more with every kid you had and now you were really just tired of taking care of three kids all by yourself with no help.

“ take the shitty bat— “

your hardened gaze moved from your kids to him as his hand holding the belt wavered — remembering your rule of no cursing in the house because your middle child had just started second grade and the teacher had already called once.

“ haha daddy’s scared of mommy “

“ of course he is have you seen her “

“ hey mommy’s not scary she’s just — “ your youngest daughter katsu spoke as she quickly turned to katsuki “ hey daddy what’s that word “

“ what word ? “ his face went stoic before he sighed annoyed with the small child “ how the hel— heck am I suppose to know what word you wanna say — i’m not a mind reader katsu— that’s not my quirk “

“ well maybe if you spent a little more time with her you’d know asshole “ your oldest spoke under his breath “ strict katsu that’s the word your looking for — she’s just strict I mean someone has to be when our fathers too busy sa— “

“ hey come on kai just— just get in the bathtub your up next anyways “ your voice was soft a small sigh leaving it before you wrapped katsumi and katsu in towels tucking them away from their older brother. “ ‘sumi— ‘tsu follow your dad he was just leaving —he can help me put you two to bed tonight — “ you rolled your eyes at the male hovering over you “ lord knows i need it—in you go kai “

“leaving — wh— the hell if I am ——- your just gonna let ‘ em get away with that “ bakugous mouth moved faster as he gripped the belt like it was a separate life form when he saw your innocent eyes look up at him “ get away with what babe ? “

“ they just verbally assaulted me y/n “

“ oh did they hmm” you turned back to your kids “ maybe you should file another villains report “

“ wow “ his voice went quiet at your remark you two had been on the outs recently because he kept saying how much he wanted more kids in the moment only to turn around and bask in the light he was given during their birth and then turn back around and spend no time with them at all.

you shook your head “ i’m sorry I don’t understand what they’ve done wrong “

You were tired of it.

“ i’m going to bed after this ‘suki I don’t know if your gonna be there or if your sleeping at the office again but please this time write a note so I don’t tell katsu her dad will take her to school in the morning “ you scoffed “ again “

That was how he ended up here he had gone to the office but he came back when he realized he’d screwed up his whole family. He assumed that if he had the fame , the money , the whole setup that he could provide for his family’s every need.

What he’d forgotten is that maintaining relationships within your family is actually apart of said needs. He didn’t understand until all three of his kids had something to say about his absence how much it was messing with them. So he came back home and sat on the couch.

Just his luck that he was greeted with not only the youngest but the smartest of his three children. He would’ve much rather have walked in to hear you screaming at him for leaving in the first place not the toothless child next to him bothering him with useless questions about his absence

“ dada “ his eyes went over to look at katsu who’d found a place on his side This would be her twelfth question in a matter of five minutes “ can I sit in your lap “

his eyes furrowed this was a different question than he’d expected “ katsu baby you don’t have to ask things like that “

“ but you— your never here so I just assumed that you may be trying to get away from us so I didn’t want you to have someone you don’t like in your lap “

“ what kat— “ his back hit the couch before he propped himself up and dragged the small girl onto his lap “ I adore you guys I love you and I never meant to make you guys feel unloved it’s just that“

“mm “ her voice coming out accusingly just like yours causing him to tense while imagining you as the small girl in front of him.

“ work baby “ he sighed as he rubbed the girls shoulders up and down heating up her cold body “ work is really hard when your an adult and you never get any time off with my job it’s constant “

“ daddy is all work hard “

“ yes “ he smiled

“ if all work is hard— meaning it’s all the same then why can’t you just get a different hard job that doesn’t take up all your time “

his heart pounded inside his chest as he stared down on the smaller girl his eyes wide “ w— what um aren’t you like what 5 —6 how— “

“ you missed when my quirk came daddy it’s super knowledge”

his smile tightened along with the grip he held on the couch cushion beside him “ of course it is yeah of course it is — just my fucking luck “

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iwadori · 3 years

Text

When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

General taglist [bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi, @iimoonii, @hamdehlesmis, @Shoyosupremacy, @iambashfulperson, @kayleighbeccaa, @dearkousei, @bakugouswh0r3, @xedspirits @borpcorp, @soft-angel-clouds, @foxxtrot-116 @Xogiaaa, @jesssobs, @apple-poptarts @galagcica @letssssus, @random-734, [join the taglist here]

#signedwithane😌#haikyu angst #haikyu headcanons #haikyu scenarios #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto scenarios #sakusa angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios

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p1nkwitch · 3 years

Note

⌘ and ✿ for Lonely Eyes with Elias in pain

Aww you know me so well <3

Little bit of an au where his attempted ritual fails and everything goes wrong, plus Peter lives cause I want him to. Lonelyeyes is the ship that keeps on giving.

So enjoy.

✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention

⌘: being picked up

It failed-

No.

No,nonon. His life work-

Jonah Magnus, aka Elias Bouchard has the sudden feeling of vertigo hit him and his body slumps on his office. While he twitches in place, the sheer pressure of being seen is so much that it leaves him completely breathless.

He can't move, or think, only feel the metaphorical eye stare him down like a physical force.

The last time he felt this was when he attempted his ritual in the panopticon so long ago.

Elias feels ill all of a sudden, very ill. So with shaky legs he gets up and manages to run off, Rosie stands up to ask, but he shakes his head and tells her she is dismissed. Then he goes.

His mind was doubling itself trying to comprehend, but as if in a fog, everything slipped away. Elias could not focus on anything, he could see but not understand, as if that was being stripped away. With that he realized he did not know what to do, where to go, his boy was on fire and he must look terrible because-

Because people were staring, whispering, knowing and watching and judging and-

Run-

Where-

Wherewherewherewhere-

Where does he go, where is he, who is he-

His mind was spinning and a person tries to approach him, when suddenly he feels-

Blanketed somehow, muffled. The people stop watching and he is left alone and his mind can think straight for a few minutes before it becomes impossible. He needs to go home, needs to go back and-

And rest.

To plan, to get better and find a loophole or something, he has to, Elias needs to find something. He hasn't come this far for it to fail now, but his body betrays him and his knees give out on him, making him fall to the floor. His temperature raises, and he feels himself start to weep slightly all of it for nothing? Is this how it goes? How it ends…

With him slumped on the street, with his archivist running amok-

Him alone….

Jonah lets a few tears in his feverish state and starts to pass out, when he hears something distorted and familiar.

The impossibility makes his shriveled heart ache. Peter Lukas died, and even if he was alive he would not come back for him, not after letting him go to face Jon.

He manages to mumble his name and knows no more.

Elias wakes up again, a miracle, maybe the police found him and got him to a hospital before sending him back again-

Yet he sees his room. He is in bed, wrapped up in sheets, his sluggish mind cant comprehend fully what is going on, but he latches on the familiarity, latches on the safety of the place and what it means.

So slowly he closes his eyes again and sleeps once more.

The next time he wakes up to someone lifting him in a bridal carry, he tries to move away now afraid, but he hears grunting and his eyes open slightly. He blurrily sees a bearded, pale face stare him down. He sniffles and feels his eyes wet against his wishes.

“Please don't start again, I can't keep watching you cry Elias” He doesn't understand. In all honesty his mind is nothing but syrup, the only thing it latches on is on this man that he is sure is gone and yet he is here looking after him.

“Please” He is not sure what he is asking for, but Peter sighs and just stares at him. He can see his face look uncomfortable, but Elias-? Jonah? Which one is it? Feels a spark of recognition. He wants him to keep looking at him.

His mind slips away again and he presses his cheek to his chest before passing out.

The next time, he still feels lost, he makes a few noises of discomfort and Peter comes out of the door and starts to check on him. Touches his forehead, mumbles something and gives a quick caress to his cheek. Then he moves to go, but he makes a quite honest pathetic noise that if he were in a better frame of mind, Jonah would be appalled to be making.

Still it serves his purpose well, Peter hesitates and he tries to mumble his name, even if it feels like pulling teeth.

“P-ter?” The man pulls his hair back and sighs before sitting next to him, his body aches still, and he feels hot, but he still turns around to press himself closer to him. Peter slowly starts to play with his damp hair and mumbles words that he can't bring himself to understand. Elias just wants him to stay and watch over him, he feels so bad, its impossible to think of anything else than that.

Eventually it lulls him enough to doze off.

And so it goes like that.

Elias just… wakes up and demands for Peter attention to be kept on him for as long as he can. Slowly he gains enough awareness to feel the fear of him leaving him.

Of Peter dropping him due to this and going to the Tundra. His body is wrecked with shivers and his eyes get blurry with tears. The man is holding him while trying to calm him down, even if Elias can't say why he is like this.

“Shh, why? You were doing so well, why did you start to cry again?? What's wrong, Elias I don't know what to do you little bastard-” He cant stop. He weeps.

Its as if he was letting out something he had lodged inside himself and now he could not make himself stop, he didn't know how to do it. It was tearing at him, but it also felt somewhat relieving?

It was unfair.

Peter just held him closer and hushed him. Elias just wept for this surely would make him leave.

So stupid and clingy and empty headed that he was, nothing like himself whatever that meant. Just ill and pathetic like he had never been before.

“Shhh, no, no listen its not just-” His ears are ringing and he just presses his face closer before blacking out.

The next few times he wakes up only to throw up. Peter has to lift him to take him to the bathroom to clean his mouth, he barely manages to catch the black thing he threw up before the man quickly picks him up.

He is dying isn't he?

He is going to die-

“No, no you aren't i swear” He mumbles it and weep and when he tries to lift his hands to clean his face the man stops him and shakes it.

“Careful” Why? What is wrong-

He looks down and sees black spots on his clothes where the tears should have fell. Is he-

“Its ok, it will pass-” He pulls at his arms and draws him closer.

“Sorry-” Elias just presses himself against Peter and keeps mumbling it. Not even knowing what he is sorry for. Only that he feels it from the bottom of his heart.

He refuses to eat, or tries to, must of the time he merely is so out of it, that Peter just offers food and he opens his mouth, but when he is a little bit more himself he refuses. Why? What does it matter-

“Please just a little bit, cmon once you are ok, you can help im sure you will know what happened-” He has no way to know what he means and honestly? He doesn't care.

Leave he wants to say, like always.

What comes out instead is-

“Stay please-” He shivers under the covers and Peter hums while playing with his hair. He is odd, usually he should have left and yet.

“Ok, i don't- there is nowhere else to go Elias. Whatever happened… it left everyone adrift” He feels a tentative kiss to his forehead.

“So please, please get better” His arms tightened and it's so… unlike him and yet its everything Elias has ever wanted from the man. He buries his face on the crook of his neck and breathes. He doesn't know what is happening, but he wants Peter to stay with him, the only person who knows him and yet comes back.

Who came back despite everything.

“How are you here….” A chuckle.

“Took you long enough… I don't know, I remember sort of dying, yet also… not? Sort of like I dispersed in the lonely, almost… would have just disappeared” He nods even if it feels weird.

“But-?”

“But i felt someone-” And he kisses his head “Being lonely and it was enough to appear”

“... mmSo-” Peter shakes his head.

“No, no you're not and i don't want you to, we both tried to hurt the other, lets call it even ok?”

“Kay, Peter i cant… i don't know if i can be better-” His mind starts to slip away again so he grabs onto the man, he seems to be the only thing keeping him together at this rate. He is so dazed he can't notice him stiffening and taking a deep breath.

“You will, im- im sure of it, you are definitely better than when i found you! Can stay, stay awake for longer, so that's ok? We are talking” And they are, yet..

“Don't think it will last… was too much beholding i can't-” Peter sounds more strained.

“You will be fine, you have to. I don't know what to do Elias, i- forsaken left- everything is too much you have to be fine, i don't think i could- could deal with you g-gone” His eyes are already closing so he looks up. Peter looks sick too, less than him, but still he has bags under his eyes, they are red and puffy as if he cried too. He was pale by nature but now its concerning.

“Sorry…”

“Elias?”

“Mm” He can't keep himself up anymore.

He wishes he could stay, he would love to see how Peter would be now.

When he wakes up this time, its to someone holding his hand and the muffled sounds of crying, he blinks up and feels…. ok.

Not perfect, but not terrible either. His mind is far more awake than it has been in… god knows how long.

When he turns around he sees Peter is holding his hand and pressing his face to it.

He is the one crying.

It makes something that he thinks he buried a long time ago surface.

He feels sympathy for him, feels… that he very much would want him to stop crying and be the odd and charming man he married several times.

Elias does not like to see him sad, what a weird concept.

So he squeezes his hand and Peter jolts as if shocked looking up at him. He smiles tiredly.

“You look like shit captain” It startles him and for a second he stares with his mouth slightly open until he snorts and starts laughing.

Soon it turns into more tears but he kind of ignores it since he feels his own start to come out.

“Hey”

“You miserable excuse of a watcher” He grins.

“I love you too” Peter gets up from the chair he was sitting on, lifts the covers making him curse him and picks him up easily before kissing him. He clumsily reciprocates, but soon starts to kiss him with little pecks making the taller man nuzzle his nose.

“I love you” Elias freezes waiting for the yet, however there is nothing. Peter just lowers him slowly and gets in next to him.

“Why?” He did not mean to say that, yet he sees him smile amusedly and that fits far much more on his face than the sadness.

“Because- if you didn't notice our gods dropped the ball on us and i think… I think it would hurt too much if you were gone. Far more than I could bear with. I thought it would be fine before, but i… was wrong. The past 3 weeks proved it”

Elias parses through all of it. He hates that he knows. That he can feel the hole in his awareness. That he has spent 3 weeks purging 150 years worth of power. Its frightening and he is sure that the terror will settle later on, But now…

Now he wants to stay like this longer, to remain in this little bubble for a little bit longer until he has to face this new reality.

“I felt relieved when I thought you survived before passing out the first time. It felt… good to think you were still there, even if I didn't understand why you would help me” Peter traces shapes on his arm causing goosebumps on his skin.

“Did not know either, figured you would have answers, thought i could be angry later. But you were so out of it… kept crying in your sleep it was terrifying. So pale and sick… did not want that at all. Then you-” He seems to be at a loss of words.

“Peter?”

“You stopped breathing.” Elias blinks and has a moment of pure distilled panic.

“I-”

“That's why I was holding your- you stopped breathing I thought you were…” He swallows.

“Clearly you were wrong huh?”

“Yes… yes i was i guess” He pulls him closer and he rests against him.

“We will figure it out” Peter just nods. “We will Peter, just… just trust me on that” A deep breath, he is asking for too much-

“Just this once” But it's enough it seems.

“I'm still- i don't feel perfect, but i feel better…” They tangle their legs and Peter talks.

About having to look for medicine, making sure he was well, feeding him, calling Simon to asks what to do-

And Elias eats all of it, but especially all the moments where he was semi lucid and Peter seemed to do everything to keep him happy, to make him stop crying. Apparently if he ever wanted for Peter to just do as he said he should have just cried, it seems he can't deal with it at all.

Some things in bed make far more sense now in retrospect. Smiling he listens and when he is done asks for something to eat. Nodding he gets up, but before Elias can attempt to try and go with him, Peter merely picks him up and takes him to the kitchen.

“Hey-! I can do it on my own Peter!! What are you-”

“You will probably face plant, quicker like this, plus… I sort of…” He sees him blush and he raises an eyebrow.

“Yes…?”

“You will mock me!” He starts to smirk slightly.

“Depends on what it is love” That makes him flush brighter and Elias looks amazed at it, Peter hardly ever blushed let alone at any of his terms of endearment.

“I missed having you look at me cooking” He mumbles it so slowly he can barely hear it but it settles snugly somewhere near his heart.

“Oh”

Once seated Peter goes to make food and he starts asking questions until three animals jump to the table and his lap asking for attention.

“My lovelies!” Duchess and Empress purr and rub themselves against him while the captain sort of plays with his hand.

“Yes, had to keep them away from the room, they would cling to you and mewl like crazy. It was… sort of sad to watch” He can imagine it. So he holds his cats and kisses their little heads while cooing.

They eat and Elias wants to take a bath, he asks the man to prepare it and take him there.

“You know i feel like you are now abusing this”

“Not one bit, i'm still ill, keep me well, love, and i will be up in no time” He sees him hide his flustered face slightly and Elias chuckles.

He has no idea what to do now, but he will figure it out like usual, for now he has Peter looking over him and the cats. And.

If he is not wrong, a bunch of ex avatars are very pissed off at his archivist and associates for ruining things, so at least he can get rid of them at the very least.

Recovering the institute after the whole fiasco with the hunters will be a nightmare, along with technically escaping prison, but Peter said he already looked into it a little bit. So it could be worse. For now he will rest and ask for his husbands caretaking for as long as he can get away with it.

And Peter seems to be rather happy now that he can fight him back a little bit and he is no longer on the verge of death.

Elias… Elias thinks he loves him. More than he ever did before.

Wonders about it, however… for now he is ok with not knowing the why’s. Happy with just enjoying the moment for what it is worth.

#lonelyeyes #flurby gets an ask #mywritingf #ask game

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sunsinrinn · 4 years

Text

Do you love her? part 2

Language, Angst

Quirk mention

Word count: 1,949

Here’s part two hopefully its good <3

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” You began raising your voice, “ I wanted so badly to deny it. I cant fucking believe you fell for someone while you were with me! Did you really think I am that fucking foolish? Did you think you could fucking string me along while you stuck your tongue down her damn throat?! You’re pathetic thinking I will allow you to treat me like this. You pretended to CARE! Do you know how much hurt I feel? Of course you don’t you have a new toy to play with now!” You feel so angry and glare as he begins to stutter out, “I- I didn’t mean to hurt you! I didn’t mean to kiss her either, or even fall for her-“

You cut him off by saying, “What the hell do you mean you didn’t mean to fucking kiss her? Did your tongue have a mind of its own and found itself down her lizard ass throat? I just want you out of my fucking life Bakugo. I can’t stand to look at you anymore.”

Bakugo finds himself angry at your word, “You know if you were more fucking caring as a girlfriend I wouldn’t have looks at her! I would still be stuck with you!”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN A CARING GIRLFRIEND? I fucking cared more than your pathetic ass ever did but hey you wouldn’t know because you were infatuated by Lizard face. You have no right to critique me as a girlfriend, ESPECIALLY if you weren’t even fucking committed to this relationship.”

He was running a bit late because he went out to pick up your favorite snacks and as soon as he sees the dorms he speeds up so he doesn’t keep you waiting. As he approaches your room he hears muffled yelling so he knocks and with no answer he opens the door to see you seething at bakugo and as bakugo is about to speak up. He spots Denki and glares at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Widening his eyes a bit he looks at you and calmly speaks up, “I could ask you the same thing, especially since y/n does not want you near her.”

Bakugo enraged speaks up, “I am here because I wanted to talk to my girlfriend!”

At that Denki sees you become even angrier and you speak up, “I am not your fucking girlfriend! Fucking understand that I want nothing to do with you anymore. Especially after knowing you love her!”

Sadness flashes across Bakugo’s face but becomes replaces with an angry facade, “Fine I came here to work things out with you and forgive you but it just seems like you’re being a hard-headed bitch!” As soon as he says that he begins to regret it as well. You boil in anger and scream, “FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT YOU DICK? YOU WANNA FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A DUMBASS AND CARING FOR YOU? I DID ALL THE THINGS YOU LIKE HOPING YOU’D STAY! You’re UNBELIEVABLE!” You calm down and coldly say, “Get out of my room, don’t contact me again because I’m sick with feeling like I deserve better. And you’re sick for everything you did to me so go back to your lizard bitch.”

Bakugo’s facade falls as he senses such an immense pain that doesn’t belong to him. His eyes widen once he realizes you let your quirk take over. He never experience your quirk first hand and now he’s afraid, and the grief that radiates from you is so intense he feels like his actual heart is being torn piece by piece. That’s when he realizes just how badly his actions hurt you. You had so much pain that without realizing it, it bursted from your grasp affecting everyone in the room.

“Y-y/n...its o-okay” Bakugo hears the other blonde speak up and realizing that he was also feeling her pain. As soon as you heard Denki, the pain Bakugo felt left as quickly as it came, and in its place a more calming feeling arrived. Bakugo faintly felt the feeling but knew that he would never make you feel like that anytime soon causing his heart so break ever so slightly.

“Please leave Bakugo” Denki speaks calmly as he walks towards you and hugs you. With that Bakugo leaves hesitantly regretting everything he did to you. Bakugo knew then that you weren’t his anymore. No, Denki has managed to, little by little, break down the walls put up because of Bakugo. He walked to his room and in there, he finally mourned the loss of you. He fucked up and he knew it. He loves Setsuna but his love for you is bigger. Or so he thought. If he did love you why the hell did he say those mean things. Out of every-fucking-one Denki is the one soothing you. His blood boiled in anger (jealousy psh) at the thought of you being in the arms of Denki.

Days after the fight you radiate a somber feeling that everyone near you can feel. That feeling is occasionally replaced with a faint content feeling that is only usually when Denki is with you. After the fight, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero would talk to you but when bakugo was near they’d shut up and instead to to each other. You noticed and at first were hurt but understood that they were his friends after all. After the fight Denki stopped talking or hanging out with Bakusquad and you hated that he stopped just to hang out with you. You spent time on your hobbies and hanging out with Dekusquad. Slowly with the help of your friends, you became happier and slowly begin to forget about him and his words.

Opposed to you, Bakugo, although hanging out with Setsuna, he was not happy. He hated hurting you but always counteracted and attempted to forget about you by being with Setsuna. Whenever he saw you, he saw happiness radiate from you but as soon as you spotted him even a glimpse that happiness soured. That would always get under his skin and begin to scowl. He hated knowing that others made you happy and all he did now was make you angry. He also hated that Denki had gotten close to you. He hated the fact that he made you the happiest and carefree. He loathed Denki for making you feel better. He wanted to be the one who made you happy and carefree. He wanted to be the one you directed your smile towards. He is overcome with jealousy and hatred that is aimed towards Denki. He also noticed that Kirishima, Mina, and Sero would hang out with her but leave her when he was around. The three of them hated that he cheated but being loyal to the fault, they stuck with him so he wouldn’t be alone. He saw how they held themselves back from you making him feel bad because when you were his girlfriend they adored you. He hated himself for taking away your friends and hated them for sticking with him. He didn’t deserve them and they knew he fucked up but they believed in him to make it up to you.

Denki, all he did during the passing weeks was to stay with you as much as possible and make you smile every time he saw you. Despite his feelings, he never attempted to get with you because he knew you were still hurting. It hurt him so much knowing you were heart broken so he made a promise to himself to always keep you content whether you returned his feelings or not. He cared so much for you it hurt him to restrain from blurting out his love for you.

You saw how Denki was always with you and how he always made you smile. You began to feel strange around him. Your heart would beat out of control every time he was near you just pushed that feeling aside knowing you were falling again. You did not want to fall again and be hurt. Denki would never do that to you but you just were being cautious to let someone in again after Bakugo. You just wanted to feel normal again before thinking of dating anyone. You also didn’t think he thought of you as anything more than a friend so you tried pushing those feelings to the side.

Denki’s feelings for you grew and grew as the days went by to the point where he decided to finally confess. He knew that even if you didn’t like him back he had to tell you so he could get over you. He texts you while you’re out one day that he has something he wants to talk to you about.

When you see his message you become anxious and send him a message asking “whats up”. You see the text bubbles show up and disappear and show up again. The message he sent just says he wants to talk in person. So you anxiously text back saying that he can talk to you when you return. You continue to shop and forget about it but as you walk home from the store you become anxious again and begin to over think. What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore? Did you do something wrong?

When you arrive you text him to say you were here. He texts back almost instantly to meet up in your room. You slowly make your way to your room. The closer you get the more anxious you become until you see him standing in front of your door. You give him a weak smile and open the door letting him and yourself in.

“So what did you need to tell me?-“

“I have something to tell you-“ You both say at the same time.

Denki looks at you as you look at him and both laugh.

“S-so um... y/n,” He stutters out. You look at him as he tries to tell you.

“I have something to tell you and I hope you dont get angry or mad or stop being my friend. I. Have been meaning to tell you this for a while but I would chicken out and I dont know how to tell you this and I am so sorry. I hope this doesn’t change our friendship or how you look at me but maybe you will change how you look at me? I mean if its a good change but not if its bad...-“ His face begins to burn red as he rambles.

“Denki just tell me what you have to say, your making me anxious, hun.” You say calmly so he relaxes slightly. Just slightly.

Meanwhile, Bakugo is still unhappy and wants to talk to you again and hopefully you hear him out and see how miserable he is without you. Even if you cant fully forgive him he will try until you trust him and take him back.

He walks over to your room and stops at the door when he hears Denki rambling and you speaking up. His blood begins to boil but stays quiet attempting to here the conversation. He then hears Denki mutter something quickly so he gets closer to the door to hear better.

“Ireallylikeyoubutnotasasfriend” Denki mutters quickly.

“Denki, just spit it out... Please the suspense is killing me,” you practically beg of him. Bakugo hears that and stays silent and once Denki speaks up he’s blood runs cold.

Denki looks up at you taking a deep breath and as he exhales he says

“I said I really like you y/n. Not as a friend either.”

Here is Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N- this is probably not as good as part one but I tried, :) Hopefully you guys like it <3 also there wasn’t much angst this time :3 also if you’d like to be tag in future parts or works send me an ask, dm, or comment :) You can also fill out my taglist form here

Taglist: @tspice283

#kaminari x reader #bnha x reader #denki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #mha x y/n #mha x reader #bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari

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mandadoration · 4 years

Text

raise the stakes

summary: The Mandalorian and Carasynthia Dune have you, their sweet little mechanic, to themselves, ambushing you under the guise of leaving to get a bounty. Thank the Maker you’ve dropped the Child off because it gets a little hot and heavy in the Razor Crest.

word count: 4, 299

Pairing: (sorta established) mandalorian x reader x carasynthia dune

warnings: smut, threesome (MFF), oral sex (male and female receiving), face sitting, face fucking, multiple orgasms, dom/sub undertones, praise kink, pain kink, creampie, unprotected sex, overstimulation

a/n: Same universe as settle the debt, but can be read as a standalone. Filthiest smut I’ve probably written thus far.

Read this on AO3

---

Something… is definitely up when you walk back onto the Razor Crest. Cara is looking at you with a wicked smile on her face, and Mando… well you can’t exactly tell what he’s thinking, but it can’t be good when he gives Cara a curt nod. At some point they’ve gotten really good at communicating wordlessly, but something tells you that this was something discussed while you were busy actually doing your job instead of scheming. You drop your bag of tools by the hatch that is closing up behind you as you look between them with narrowed eyes. There’s some kind of tension rising in the air, and it makes you uncomfortable and shift where you stand. Not because there’s animosity, but rather it’s the lack of. You’re used to the playful competitiveness between the two, or even the worry that can stuff up the air after a dodgy mission, but this is some sort of inside joke that you are an outsider to. But whatever is lingering in the air is palpable.

“The ship is in working order,” you announce, voice ringing clear in the quiet hull in an effort to try and clear up the tension, but the suspicion in your tone is too clear to really assuage anything or convince the two to let you in their shared secret. “Cleared up some gunk that was causing the weird sound. And I dropped the kid off with Greef Karga with some choice words. We should be good to go, but I recommend refueling before a second jump to hyperspace.” You receive no answer, but Cara does settle in her seat as Mando gets up and stalks towards you, for lack of a better word. You always seem to forget how formidable he seems. Probably because you’ve seen him fall asleep with the kid in his arms once or twice. After that, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy tends to stop being so scary. You cross your arms as he walks right up to you and stand your ground. “Would anyone care to tell me exactly what’s going on?” you ask bluntly.

“What do you mean?” Mando rumbles, and you have to look up at him with how close he is. He’s close enough that you can smell the lingering scent of blaster fire and whatever he polishes his gleaming beskar armor with. He completely engulfs your view, and when you crane your head around to try and look at Cara, he follows to stand in your way. You huff in annoyance.

“You know what I mean,” you say. A step to the left, and Mando follows with barely any lag. A step to the right, and the same thing happens. The only thing Mando really moves for is when you take a step forward because he takes one back. Other than that, it seems like he insists on being nearly chest-to-chest with you. How childish. “Mando,” you sigh, “didn’t you say that we had some kind of bounty to go after?” The helmet tilts.

“I did, didn’t I?” he says. You raise an eyebrow. He sounds like he’s entertaining you, as if you were some child.

“Yes, you did,” you say slowly. “Which is why I did a checkup on the Crest and dropped off the kid with Karga. You know, like you pay me to do?” Although you suppose that the payment is less that and more like he gives you an allowance to spend when occasion allows since so much of your funds are essentially shared. Mando remains as impassive as ever.

“And?”

“And,” you continue, frustration bleeding into your tone, “that means we should get going. Karga isn’t going to look after the child forev-- oh my goodness--” Your sentence dissolves into nothing as warm, calloused hands run over your shoulders and down your back, eventually settling on your hips as searing kisses are pressed to your throat. Mando takes this as his cue to swoop in, slotting his leg between yours as you’re effectively sandwiched between two bodies before you can think twice. Now you can see that Cara is no longer lounging in her chair. Mando runs a gloved finger down your face and over your lips before dropping it down to start working on the buttons of your mechanic’s jumpsuit. The other comes up to cup your face, nestling your jaw in his large hand. You blink.

“What were you going to say?” Cara muses, voice muffled but all the same teasing as she sucks what’s sure to be a dark mark at the junction of your shoulder. She moves to the other side, nipping at your sensitive skin high above the collar to make sure you wouldn’t be able to hide it easily. You faintly register how Mando has managed to pop enough buttons open to slide his hand in to fondle your breasts over your undershirt. “Sounds like you lost your train of thought.” And it’s true because you don’t even have an inkling of what you were talking about before, the heat quickly building up in the pit of your stomach as you grasp at Mando’s arms in an effort to ground yourself to something. Mando grinds the cold cuisse of his beskar against your heat and your eyes flutter shut. You still try to save face.

“Well I was- I was interrupted,” you gasp out. Mando unbuttons the rest of your jumpsuit all the way down to your navel and starts sliding it off of you, humming in appreciation when you slides your arms out to help him.

“Here’s your chance to finish your train of thought, then,” he says. Cara’s hands leave your hips for a split second to let Mando pull your jumpsuit all the way off until it pools around your feet before her hands are right back on you with a bruising grip. You fumble around for the last thing you remember.

“We have to-- We have a bounty?” you say, but it’s really more of a question as Mando slides his hands around to continue to strip you bare. Your shirt proves more of an issue, however, but Mando just simply grabs the collar of your shirt with his hands and rips in clean in half. “Hey--!” Your complaint is smothered by Cara sticking her fingers in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue as she shushes you and then praising when you instinctively curl your tongue around the digits. He leaves your panties on, much to your annoyance, now damp with your slick and leaving marks on the cuisse that you’re grinding against. Mando flicks a nipple, and you jolt.

“Do we?” he asks in that stupid teasing voice he’s been using this entire time. “What do you think, Cara?”

Cara merely presses her body flush against yours as her fingers leave your mouth to dip into your panties to play with your clit, dipping down further to collect some of your slick before going back up to start rubbing in slow circles. “I say,” she mutters, “that we have some time before we have to go.” You try and fail to swallow a moan at the husky tone of her voice. Mando gives a noise of agreement, and he takes off his gloves before he joins Cara’s hand at the apex of your thighs, moving aside your panties to run a finger over your entrance. You’re certain at this point the only thing holding you up is the fact you can barely move between the muscled bodies of Cara and Mando.

“How much you-- ah, wanna bet that Karga will ask for mo-more payment for having to-- Maker, watch the kid for longer?” you stammer out. Cara and Mando loved to take their time with you, and you had only told Karga it would take less than a week at most. You were going to be wonderfully sore by the time they were through with you, which would certainly put a damper on your plans to follow the two out to get the bounty. The last time you were left alone you had to kill another damn bounty hunter that was looking for the kid, but not without being bedridden for an entire week and a half when a blaster shot clean through your thigh. Honestly, you thought they would be done by now, but still they came to collect the evasive little womp rat. Thank the Maker for bacta, and bless the Maker for the attention Cara and Mando had showered upon you including basically waiting hand and foot for you, but you were not going to let more hunters catch you slipping. “Yo-you know he does grow tired of playing- playing babysitter.”

“Well, Mando, what do you wager?” Cara asks. She presses a little harder against your clit.

“I’m not betting when I already know Karga won’t say a word,” Mando responds. “He likes spending time with the kid.” You can feel Cara frown from where her mouth is pressed against your hair. “How about this?” he says slowly, and slips a finger into you. You cant your hips up. “How many times do you think we can make her cum?” Mando offers, and in no time he’s stuffing another finger into you. Cara’s frown turns into a pleased smile.

“30 credits to say we can make her cum at least 3 times,” she says.

“That’s it?” Mando says critically.

“The amount of credits or the number of times?”

“Both.” You can feel Cara shrug.

“Then feel free to raise the stakes, Mando.” Mando curls his fingers in you, and you cry out, legs nearly buckling under you as you reach behind you to tangle your hands in Cara’s hair. She grunts, and starts circling your clit faster.

“50 credits,” Mando says, voice dropping lower than before, “for at least 5.” You can feel a rush of wetness gush out of you as Mando slips in a third finger with ease, and for a second you think they’ve sort of forgotten you can hear them.

“M-Mando,” you moan. Certainly at this point you were being entirely held up by the two. At the call of his name, the Mandalorian starts pumping his fingers in and out of you, obscene squelching filling the air over your pathetic moans. Cara pretends to think about it.

“75 credits for 6.”

“Deal.”

And then Cara speeds up substantially and Mando is fucking you on his fingers and suddenly you’re cumming so much that your vision goes white for a split second. You faintly register how wantonly you’re moaning, but you’re too concerned with clenching around Mando’s thick fingers and scrabbling for purchase in Cara’s hair to care. It’s utterly indecent and you’re so glad the child isn’t here because the guilt would weigh too heavy in your heart to know they would’ve been an unwilling listener to whatever was happening right now. You rest assured in knowing he’s being spoiled silly by Karga, and curl your toes in your boots. Mando maybe says something about this being ‘one out of six’, but you can’t be too sure. You were concerned with making you didn’t pass out with how hard your orgasm had slammed into you.

As you come down, you realize at some point that they’ve lowered you onto a small makeshift nest of blankets and pillows that you really don’t know how you didn’t notice before. Mando’s pulling off your boots and tossing aside your jumpsuit as Cara arranges you on the floor, and you can practically feel how they’ve got their eyes glued on your heaving breasts as you drag in deep breaths to try and calm your racing heart.

“You planned this all along,” you accuse, breathless but still chock full of false venom, pointing a finger between Mando and Cara. “You-- mmph-!” Cara interrupts you again by capturing your mouth with hers, immediately slipping a tongue when you open yours in surprise. She pulls back much too soon, and she pushes you back down with ease when you try to follow her up, wanting more.

“You talk too much,” she says, stroking your cheek and softening the scowl you have on your face. Mando pulls your panties off all the way and stares at your blushed hole, glistening in the low light of the Razor Crest. “We should fix that.” You huff and try your best not to feel too self-conscious with how Mando keeps looking at your pussy. The temptation to try and kick him from your position on the floor is overwhelming.

“Well if you stopped interrupting me I could--” And Cara ducks her head to kiss you again and cut you off, but you can’t really complain because her mouth is warm and inviting. You close your eyes in pleasure, focusing the feeling of her lips moving against yours, but you can feel the air shift around you as Mando and Cara move around. It’s weird to feel Cara’s mouth move as you stay stagnant, and when you open your eyes again, you find that they’ve switched places. Cara kneels between your legs as Mando is unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants, palming at his hard cock over his underclothes.

“Maybe you just need something to occupy your mouth,” Cara teases. She gives your thigh a sharp slap. “Flip over.” You scowl at her, but do as she asks, turning around to lay on your belly. You expect her to hunch over to give attentive kisses down your back as you know she loves to do, but to your surprise, Cara hooks her strong arms under your hips until your face is squished against the layers of blankets, and your hips are swaying in her face. You shiver when your pussy is exposed to the cooler air of the ship, and even more when Cara’s hot breath fans over it. You prop yourself up on your elbows, looking up at Mando through your lashes when he pulls out his cock and strokes himself slowly, smearing his precum around the head, but uses whatever wetness is left on his fingers from your cum. He scoots forward, and you obediently open your mouth to take him, moaning in tandem with Mando when Cara’s tongue licks a broad stripe up your cunt.

“Fuck,” Mando groans. His cock rests hot and heavy in your mouth as you try to calm your spinning head and focus on him. That proves a challenge when Cara is quickly bringing you up to that crest again, licking into your pussy and spreading your cheeks by digging her fingers into the flesh of your ass. If it weren’t for the fact your head was spinning with lust, you would’ve probably felt extremely embarrassed with how receptive you are, swaying your hips and pushing back to chase after that mind-numbing pleasure again. Mando takes pity on you and slowly starts thrusting into your warm mouth, a tender hand brushing your hair out of your face as tears start gathering at the corner of your eyes whenever he hits the back of your throat. Everytime you gag, his cock jumps a little. But thank the Maker that Mando is doing most of the work because it’s hard to really focus on anything other than Cara’s mouth on you and oh-- now she’s pushing in a finger and you’re arching your back as you let out a muffled moan. Mando hisses at the vibration and twitches his hips forward. You bunch up the blankets under you in your fist as you fight the urge to gag again.

“You’re missing out on this sweet cunt, Mando,” Cara says, pulling back to give you a mere second of reprieve before she dives right back in.

“So you are you,” he rasps. He grabs your hair, pulling until you whine at the sharp pain, and then starts fucking into your mouth in earnest. “Her mouth, fuck, is so warm.” Cara slips in two more fingers next to the first, scissoring you open, and you really think you can’t feel anymore full than you already are. “So eager.” Her tongue is wicked on your clit, and you start to clench around her fingers.

“You close?” Cara mutters, her voice thick with lust. You garble something unintelligible in response.

“Her mouth is a little, hah, preoccupied at the moment,” Mando says.

“I wonder why.” And Cara gives a particularly hard suckle on your clit and this time your orgasm washes over you in a hot tide instead of slamming into you. Mando pushes in a little deeper, wiping away the tears that fall from your eyes as your throat constricts around him, cooing praises at you through the crackling of the voice modulator. Cara slows her ministrations, but keeps her fingers in your pussy as she lets your ride out the aftershocks. You think you’ve finally calmed down lazily bobbing your head as you try to catch moments of air between it, but Cara drags her fingers out of you and gives you a few short slaps to your pulsing cunt. These two were going to be the death of you.

“That’s two,” Mando notes, his tone too casual compared to how ruined you already felt. Could you really handle four more? Cara hums and continues to smear more of your wetness around your already sopping wet core. She breaks her gaze from your center, to your flushed face, and to Mando.

“Wanna--”

“Yes.”

Mando slides out of your mouth with a pop, a thread of saliva connected you two, and you keen high in your throat when their combined body warmth fades, looking up pleadingly up at Mando with glazed eyes. They both laugh, low and deep in their chests, and Mando strokes your cheek affectionately. “Calm down,” he soothes. Instead of moving around like you expected them to do, Cara pulls you off of your hands and knees and up against her back, sliding you down until you’re comfortably on your back. Mando rubs his cock between your lips, gathering the slick there as Cara pulls her pants down and kicks them off to join your own discarded clothes. “Shit, you’re wet,” Mando hisses. Cara swings her leg over your face, swaying her hips over your face and laughing when you try and crane your head up to meet her.

“Told you so,” she says to Mando over her shoulder, and then she’s lowering her hot cunt onto your waiting mouth. You give a moan of appreciation that turns into a moan of need as Mando pushes the blunt head of his cock into your entrance. He doesn’t push in all the way, just teasingly back and forth until you whimper and wiggle your hips at him. You lick into Cara, circling her clit with your tongue, diving down to her entrance to lap at her wetness before going back. She sighs happily.

“And I told you,” Mando responds. “Sounds like we’re even.”

“For now,” Cara breathes. Mando finally pushes fully into you, his thick cock seemingly splitting you as he presses those inches into you. It’s dizzying, and far better than the fingers either of them had given you. Now you can’t even complain that you’ve cum twice before this. You’re not quite sure how Mando could’ve fit if it weren’t for the fact you’ve already been worked open and slick with want. Still, Mando hisses and has to move slowly as your pussy stretches around him. When he fully bottoms out, you scrabble at Cara’s thighs, leaving red marks in the wake of your nails. She lets out a flitting laugh at the yelp you give as she pulls your hair. “Don’t wear her out too fast, Mando,” she says. The entire exchange sounds a little muffled, Cara’s strong thighs covering your ears as the strong, corded muscles flex with every little kitten lick you give. It’s a different kind of suffocation compared to sucking Mando’s dick. You are entirely engulfed with Cara’s presence, and you could die happy from where you are.

If only the two devils would leave you alone to bask in your satiation instead trying to wring your very soul from your cunt.

“Bold of you to assume she’s anywhere near tapping out,” Mando replies dryly, and drags his cock out before working on pushing back in again. You whine again when he does, and Cara yanks on your hair to bring your attention back. Then, low in your ear, “You’re not done until I say you’re done. And that’s not gonna be until I’m satisfied.” This is when you start to wonder how much of this is them betting over you, and how much is them trying to prove something. Both of them have incredible stamina, and you’re already worn out.

“Don’t forget about me,” she teases, mock threatening with the strong hold she has on you. At this rate you were going to go bald with how they seem to be enamored with pulling your hair. But honestly her words don’t hold any promise because she grinds down into your face and there’s no way you can ignore her unless you passed out from the lack of air.

Actually you may not be too far off.

Between you trying to drag in breaths whenever Cara takes pity and lifts up now and then, and Mando punching the breath right back out of you, it’s hard to breathe properly. Especially as he thumbs short, quick strokes on your clit, timing it with every sharp thrust in. “C’mon, sweet girl,” Mando murmurs. “I know you’ve got another one in you.” The coil in your stomach is winding tighter and tighter as he adjusts his grip and swings one of your legs over his shoulder, driving in harder, and suddenly Cara’s grip in your hair is grounding more than anything. At the new angle, he’s hitting that sweet spot that makes you wail under Cara. “C’mon,” he urges. “Cum for me.”

You mumble something, and Cara lifts just enough to let you speak. “I don’t- I don’t know if I can,” you stammer, squeaking when Mando gives you a sharp slap to your thigh, and Cara lowers herself back down.

“Yes, you can,” Mando and Cara say simultaneously. Mando cranks up his thrusts until you can feel yourself shifting upwards with each motion, inch by inch, and if it weren’t for the blankets under you, you would’ve expected some nasty marks.

Somehow Mando draws another orgasm out of you that leaves your legs shaking and toes curling as your run red marks down Cara’s thighs in an effort to express the waves of pleasure washing over you. At the same time, Cara nearly properly sits on your face, moaning as she cums, gushing wetness all over your lower face, chasing after her own orgasm.

Mando hunches over at the vice grip your pussy has on his cock, and his hips stutter in their motions as he buries himself as deep as he can, and another feeling in you bottoms out when the hot spurts of cum coat your insides. His moaning sounds broken through the vocoder, so much so you nearly mistake for a guttural growl. You barely register the how your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you think you’ve definitely blacked out at some point because when you come to you’re sandwiched between the two on the floor, Cara pressing more kisses to your collarbone and chest and Mando stroking your hair.

“You good?” Cara asks softly. You blink, staring up at the ceiling of the Crest before you realize you were supposed to answer.

“I think I pulled a muscle,” you say weakly, and your voice is a little hoarse. The two huff a laugh, and you settle deeper into the blankets and pillows, sighing contently. You don’t even mind that you feel gross and cum is dribbling out of your pussy and cooling on your thighs.

Well, actually you’d rather not think about it. It’s pretty gross.

Cara runs a thumb over the skin on your ribs, right under your breast, tenderly. Your entire body is thrumming with aches and wonderfully sore, and you really don’t know how you were supposed to help Cara and Mando with the bounty.

“The bounty!” you gasp, startling the two around around as you try to get up. Cara puts a firm hand on your chest and pushes you back down.

“What are you talking about?” she asks.

“The bounty we were supposed to get!” you elaborate, trying to shove her hand off of you as you try to locate your clothes. “I told Karga it wouldn’t take too long and--” Mando and Cara laugh. Although it’s in good humor, they may as well have laughed in your face.

“There is no bounty,” Mando says, humor lacing his tone. “We just told you that so that we can have you to ourselves.” He brings you back down and tucks your head into the crook of his arm.

“You work yourself too much,” Cara adds.

“Oh,” you say. Your voice sounds small. “Wait, does that mean I did pre-flight checks for nothing?” The memory of being elbow deep in black sludge surfaces.

“Yeah.” You frown, but resign yourself to snuggling closer to Mando and slinging your leg over Cara’s hips, closing your eyes as a wave of exhaustion washes you.

“Ah, what do you think you’re doing?” Mando asks. He pats your face a couple of times to rouse you, and Cara reaches down to cup your heat. Cara grins, and you would bet the rest of your rations that Mando was too.

“We still have a bet to settle,” he says. “And I’m thinking about raising the stakes.”

---

Forever Tag: @mabelleen @mando-vibes @isaissafail @adikaofmandalore

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clintbartonswife · 4 years

Text

it’s what’s engraved upon my heart

Pairings: Geralt of Rivia x Jaskier, Yennefer x Triss Summary: Finally healing, Jaskier faces his reflection, Geralt faces his feelings and Triss and Yennefer have a realisation. Notes: mentions of injury, recovery, self-doubt, ptsd masterlist || part one || part two || part three || part four || part six

“You should be able to move about with relative ease now” Triss smiled, pushing an escaped curl back behind her ear as she looked at her work with pride, “You could come downstairs and join us all for dinner tonight”

Jaskier grasped the mage’s hand gently, “I can never repay all that you have done for me” he said seriously, “if there’s anything I can do-”

Triss laughed, shaking her head, “We’re friends by now, are we not, Jaskier? You don't need to repay me -” she paused for a moment, a cheeky smile creeping on to her lips, “Though I wouldn't mind a song”

A bright smile overtook his face despite the still-present pulsing in his hands, “Then consider it done”

She looked at him once more, friendly affection clear in her eyes, before extracting her hands from his hold and moving back towards the door.

“I’ll see you for dinner then?”

“I’ll walk down there myself and everything”

She laughed as she left, her voice carrying down the hallway, taking the light atmosphere with her.

His eyes fell on to the mirror, looming menacingly in the corner.

He had to know.

Yennefer frowned at the map in front of her, the xenovox recently quiet, left over magic still permeating the air.

“What’s got you frowning?” Triss asked, coming up behind her and slipping her arms around the taller woman’s waist, her chin resting in the nook between her shoulder and neck.

At the feeling of her lovers body, Yen relaxed, some of the tension slipping from her frame.

“I got a message, the Nilfgaardians heard about our little rescue mission, Fringilla recognised my magic”

Triss muttered a curse under her breath, tightening her hold.

“Thankfully they got there too late to use it to trace the portal. They don't know where we are but are heading East”

“So?”

Yen sighed, “We’re going to need to leave soon. If they get diverted towards us as they pass through here” she pointed to the map, “then it will take them less than a week to find us”

“Shit”

“Shit indeed”

Turning around in her arms, Yennefer leant back against the table, hands moving to cup Triss’ cheeks gently, “Will you come with us? I don't want to leave you but I promised to protect Ciri”

She smiled, leaning forward so that their foreheads met, “I know you want to protect me, but I have to stay behind. I’ll catch up with you”

Yen frowned, pulling away from the contact, “Stay behind?”

Triss sighed, “Yes, stay behind”

“Why?”

Triss ran a hand through her hair, moving away from Yen and jumping up on to the table, sitting next to the map, “Think about it logistically, the four of you will have a target on your back and we’re both still recovering from Sodden -”

Yen’s eyes diverted to the scarred skin peaking out from behind her dress, warping her cleavage, “Triss -”

“Please just let me finish” she said, reaching out and retaking Yen’s hands in hers, “it’s the smart option for us to do this. If Nilfgaard is moving quicker than we predicted, then we could get caught as we move through the valley, but if I stay behind here then I could divert them - buy you some time”

“Triss, no. You’re not playing the sacrificing card with me right now”

“But Yen-”

Flashing violet eyes hardened, “No. I am not leaving you behind. You saw what they did to Jaskier, and that was without the knowledge that he knew anything. If you stay behind they wont stop until you’re a husk of your former self -”

She cut herself off, dropping Triss’ hands and begging to pace across the floor, “They’ll use demetrium. Fringilla will use you in her spells - I cant - I cant leave you and willingly subject you to that”

“Okay”

It was quiet, but Yennefer turned around nonetheless, catching Triss’ teary eyes, “Thank you”

Rushing forward, she pulled Triss into an embrace, one hand cupping the back of her neck protectively, “I couldn't live knowing you were hurt”

The smaller woman nodded, pressing a light kiss to her neck, “I’ll come with you”

They stayed there, intertwined, for some time.

“We’ll have to leave within the next three days” Triss eventually said, eyes straying to the window, “Who’s going to tell Jaskier?”

“Geralt” Yen replied, as if stating the obvious, “Once we tell him of course”

The sorceress just hummed, a small smile ticking up on her lips as she caught sight of Ciri dancing around the garden, “And the princess?”

“I guess we could take that one” Yen sighed, “She’s not going to love it, but she’ll understand”

“As long as she’s safe”

Yennefer smiled, squeezing Triss’ hand in hers.

“As long as she’s safe”

Taking a deep breath, Jaskier set his shoulders, pushing himself up from the bed and crossing the room, stopping in front of the mirror.

An involuntary whimper fell from his lips as he caught sight of himself, a large scar marring his face, starting from the middle of his hairline and ending at his right temple.

His shaking hand reached to touch it, the feeling of mottled skin making him cringe.

He was scarred, damaged goods.

No court would want to see him perform looking like this - bards were supposed to be a centre piece, a piece of artwork to be admired and adored - with a face like this he’d be laughed out of manor houses, let alone palaces.

He stared blankly at his reflection as the realisation sank in. He was useless-

‘little birdy, look at you so pathetic’

The knife glinted in the guard’s hand, the sharp edge taunting him as it cut through the air, being brandished in front of him like a butcher preparing to dice his meat.

‘normally I don't like ruining my toys this early’ the man commented, gently using the knife to move Jaskier's sweaty hair from his forehead, ‘but you’re just being so uncooperative’

The knife dug in, the bard withholding any noise.

‘aw, come on now. don’t be a little bitch, birdy’ the man sneered, digging the knife in further and dragging it in an uncoordinated line across his forehead, blood seeping from the opening and falling into his eye, ‘sing for me’

‘I don't know where he is’

‘useless. utterly useless’ The man smiled cruelly, finishing the cut, ‘not even monsters will love you now’

He blinked back into the present, familiar hands cupping the side of his face.

“-ier. Jaskier come back to me - hey, hey -”

A wounded whimper escaped the bard’s lips, his hands flying up to grasp Geralt’s arms, panic still coursing through his body like a wildfire.

“You’re safe. You’re here with me” the witcher said, rocking the two of them together in a calming motion.

“I - I’m sorry” Jaskier wheezed, chest heaving as he fought for breath.

His trembling body was pulled gently against Geralt’s broad chest, Jaskier starting to ease at the comforting feeling of being encompassed in his Witcher’s arms.

“Don't apologise”

Jaskier just nestled further into his chest, the rumbling sensations of Geralt’s growling voice sending a wave of calm over the smaller man.

Geralt watched as he started to drift off to sleep in his arms, the action causing affection to bloom within his chest, the pure trust that Jaskier was showing causing his guilt to hit him again full force.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, just watching Jaskier breathe, before footsteps disturbed the peaceful silence that had descended on to the room.

“Is he -” Triss cut off at Geralt’s intense glare, switching to a whisper, “ Is he alright?”

“I think he was having a flashback” Geralt replied, voice lowered, “I pulled him out of it and then...”

He trailed off, his eyes returning to the sleeping bard in his arms, words failing him.

“The way you look at him... you look in love” Triss remarked, leaning against the doorframe with a soft smile.

Geralt just huffed, somehow not finding the energy in himself to deny her allegation, instead focusing on the hair that had fallen over Jaskier's eyes.

A cough had his head whipping back up, ready to fix the newcomer with a heavy glare, only to find all three women staring at him with knowing smiles.

“What?”

“Nothing” Ciri grinned, rocking back and forth on her heels.

_____________________________________________________________

@kittynannygaming @fillingless-piee @nanazlovese @anotherunoriginal @baron-von-wilderpants @whumpeeee @rainwaterapothecary @mazydog @vandersummer

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the-house-of-the-nine · 3 years

Text

In The Wake of her Shadow: Part 2

TAP TAP TAP TAP

“The sound. That awful, tapping sound. That driving, piercing, almost mind numbing sound of metal on metal, teeth to bone, what is that. Gods be damned. Its Rhythmic. “

TAP TAP TAP TAP

“Why does it mock me? Why is it there? Why wont it leave? Who is that!”

TAP TAP TAP TAP

“It is there again. What is it! Why is it there? Gods be damned why cant I see!”

TAP TAP TAP DRIP

Some sounds are often amplified by the extreme given the situation, the location and the amount of vibration echoing from wall to wall. The Oubliette down in the darkest regions of the Bastille was something that only those who were destined for great things would see.

Sound traveled forever here. Or to the mind of someone who had been secured there for several days without food or water; without anything outside of their own thoughts, to that person, Sound was the most terrifying beast in existence.

Strung by his arms; rusted links of saronite secured around each hand, there was a moderately handsome elf. Or at least he was at one point. He was chained to the ceiling, his ankles also secured to the floor. From what it smelled like; it was a dank sewer. The smell of musty water and iron were heavy here. Almost over powering.

The prisoner could not see. He was blindfolded and was only able to use his sense of hearing and smell to determine what was happening. Again, sound being the greatest ally, but also the most horrific entity ever known.

The tapping sound came from the rats that were gnawing at the other bones of victims in other cells. Their own chain links rattling against the bars where they had ultimately been left to rot. There was no shame in this. Dark actions meant dark consequences.

The dripping sound; well that was something entirely different.

The elven prisoner would start to feel an overwhelming sense of pain come surging into his body from the back; unbeknownst to him he had already had his clothing removed, there was a reason for the pain. A large series of stitch marks went along both sides of his spine and neck; someone had already operated and repaired the tissue.

“HELLO!”

He cried as his senses started to return to him.

“HELLO! SOMEONE?”

The response that would come was not only unexpected, but would also be dreadfully terrifying to hear.

“Good Evening Mister Morningstar, I trust you are beginning to regain some of the sensation to your brain?”

“Whose there! Who is that! What are you doing? Why am I---”

The voice again would shush him, softly; almost consoling him as if the current situation was nothing to fear.

“You will notice that your arms and legs are currently suspended from Saronite chains; you have been this way for over three days. You will feel nothing in them. Severing the nerves leading to your brain and spinal column, you have no sensation from your hips and shoulders to your extremities. They have already started to turn; the lose of blood to your arms and the tightness of the restraints on your feet. You will soon notice the flesh begin to blacken and die off. But you will not feel this.”

“What in the name of all the light are you talking about! HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME! GODS BE DAMNED HELP ME!”

Again the voice would silence the prisoner with a shushing sound.

“There are no mortals that can hear your cries Bartholomew. This is important so you should probably pay attention. The rats in this chamber do not get fed. They expect to be anytime there is a visitor. You will find that the severing of your nerves will be a good thing, but only goes toward. . .about here.”

The interrogator then reached out and lightly pinched the captive on his triceps, and again on his inner thigh.

“The sensation will begin to return the higher you go on your body. Your abdomen, penis, testicles, pectoral muscles and organs. These are still very much active and the pain receptors will register. You should know Mister Morningstar; my goal is and always was to kill you. I take great pleasure in this. Pleasure because you. . .sir, have decided that your own benefits of life outweigh that of the people you hunt. You’ve chosen to ally yourself with the demon of avarice itself, and will pay dearly for your mistakes.”

“I dont even know who you are, or what you are talk--”

“Raelyndia Duskhollow.”

There was silence again. The sound of rats gnawing on the last bits of flesh from another corpse could be heard only feet away from them. It drowned the sound of the chamber in its repetitive song. The name alone was enough to silence the swinging elven captive. The name was more than enough to enlighten him. It was the calling card of his death.

“You know exactly why you are here. You know what you have done. And you know that you have taken your last steps basking in the glow of the morning sun. Taken your last lung full of fresh sweet, autumn air in the gardens of Quelthalas. You. . . my dear Mister Morningstar. You have forfeited your life for hers. And as such; it has been claimed. And that debt is now ready for collection.”

There was silence yet again as the tapping sound of rats shaking chains consumed the elven mans mind. He snapped, panicking and shaking the chains he was suspended from.

“I dont want to die here! Please gods, by the Light I will tell you anything! I only wanted the perks! It was beneficial to my House! The Gallows, they promised me tha--”

The voice once again brushed across his mind as the hissing sound of his shushing came through once again.

“The time for talk is all but over, Bartholomew. While you were unconscious, I was able to dissect a portion of your memory from the hippocampus. Securing what I needed deep within receptors of your neo-cortex. You serve no purpose any longer. I have the locations I need. I have the names I have been seeking. And from here out; you. . .my dear friend, are obsolete.”

The chilling reminder that usefulness was only as deep as the information provided soon wrought its ugly head for the captive man. A sense of defeat, acceptance maybe?

“What will happen to me. . .”

Footsteps softly padded along the floor, dry and hitting stone at first, but soon masked in a soft squishing sound that would indicate wetness. Blood perhaps?

“Your cellmates will begin to devour the parts of your body that you currently have no feeling in. The blood that has begun to entropy inside of the appendages will sustain them for a moment. But the smell of rot will not stop them; but drive them further. You will feel them as they devour your thighs and biceps. As well as every other part of your body. They will tire eventually. Growing fat and full. The saliva within their jaws carries with it a very dangerous toxin. Most vermin have this. You will mostly die of blood loss, hunger, fatigue and the infection that will soon follow their biting. And after all of this, you will suffer for as long as it takes; you will die here. Alone, Cold, and aware that you have nothing left to give.”

The realization that there was no reasoning with this madman sunk in. But it was not enough to deter the man from whimpering.

“I--I am sorry. . .”

The prisoner was then grabbed by the face. Forefingers and thumb squeezing his cheeks closed as his head was steadied and the man who held him spoke.

“Do not patronize me with your pathetic attempts at redemption now. You cost the lives of hundreds. You cause suffering. You cause fear and pain. The blood of my people, my friends, my sister. . .is on your hands. There is not a single word you could whimper to me that would ever convince me otherwise that you are nothing more than a spineless maggot. And you would have gone on doing as you were; enacting and enabling those horrific acts to continue, had you not been caught red handed by me.”

“I don’t even know you. . .”

The elven man cried pathetically as he whispered out the fact.

Suddenly the blindfold was ripped from the mans eyes; the flash of fire that caught his pupils from the torch behind the captors face blinded him. When he focused his attention; a face of pale deathly white peered at him. Veins of sickening black venom spiderwebbing from his nose, eye sockets and mouth. They were accompanied by pits of empty blackness for eyes.

“Then let my name be the last thing you think about before you are consumed by your villainy.”

He moved in closely and whispered softly into his ear; the touch that was accompanied on his cheek fading as the terrifying face and body slowly vanished. It left the man speechless as the voice burrowed deep into his mind.

“I am Lazarius Kash’ebahl. . . and we have returned. . .We are The Nine.”

Silence, Terror, Echos of madness. Morningstar hung there in shock, his mind racing. There was little he could do. And as soon as he was alone; that familar sound returned. And he screamed until his vocal chords bled; trying to drown out that insufferable. . .

TAP TAP TAP TAP. . .

#thehouseofthenine #originalcharacter #WRARP #OC writing

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sup4l3e · 3 years

Text

I’m Crazy...

I’m insane...

I've lost the plot..

I'm hopeless..

I'm worthless..

I'm unloveable..

I'm pathetic..

I'm weird..

I'm strange..

I'm not okay...

I'm a psycho... (ok this one for me might be true... question it, go on try it! i dare you! ;0 lol)

BUT...

I AM!!!

Those are just some of the things my own mind tells me on a daily basis ... yes here it comes a blog about anxiety and depression... omg!! i know right the cliche of it all. like who hasnt written a blog about depression before ...

oh woe is me! am i right?

well... thats where you're wrong!

(before i start i want no sympathy im not writing this for the "aww's" and the "bless her" comments, i dont want sympathy or empathy ... this is simply because ive experienced and lived with depression for about 14 years and if i can help one person feel better about themselves by reading this or help someone realise that they are not alone then, well, i can rest easy tonight. If anything i want to empower people)

I lived for so many years in the dark, keeping all of this too myself and you know what it did? absolutely sweet FA apart from making me so much worse, it gave ammunition to those little voices, telling me all of the above, making them win!

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago that talking about my experiences and how im feeling would help.

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago how many other people around me were going through the EXACT same thing.

Two and a half years ago i was a completely different person, i was sheltered, i was in a very toxic relationship ... with myself. Most people would disagree, they'd say i was actually in a toxic relationship with my ex partner; but i cant blame him. Dont get me wrong he was toxic and looking back i was lucky to get out when i did, however i am also grateful too him, because he showed me exactly what i dont want in my life. and being fair to him i'd lived with my own toxicity in my mind for a good 10 years before him, so god forbid i'd give him the satisfaction of all that praise coz by god did i do a damned good number on myself without any of his help. ;)

In all honestly though, i do blame myself and my own mind, because 2 and a half years ago those little voices in my own head were the only thing i was listening to, they were winning. I wasnt listening to my family who were worried sick about me, who were practically begging me to tell them what was going on in my head, who i shut out, ignored and pushed away because i couldnt cope and you know what? they didnt deserve that at all. i live everyday regretting that i put them through that, So i now live everyday hoping to make them proud of me and live each and everyday with a promise. I do however live every day regretting that i didnt let them in earlier because if i had of i wouldnt have gone through the hell i did and i wouldnt have genuinely believed "this is what i deserve" "no-one else will love you" "no-one else wants you" "no-one cares"... i wouldnt have had too live a LIE.

The lie was people did love me, i just couldnt see it, people did care about me, i just wouldnt hear it, i needed their help, i just wouldnt speak it; because at that point in time my own mind was telling me that i didnt deserve any of that, and that nobody would ever want to do that for me. So i found sactuary in a toxic person who in the long run made me the strong person i am today because if it werent for him i'd never have the confidence in myself knowing what i overcame, and if it werent for him i wouldnt have seen my family and loved ones take charge and say "Leanne enough is enough" .. they gave me the metaphorical slap across the face i damned well needed and brought me back to reality, they categorically wouldnt allow that behaviour to carry on anymore and for that i will forever be grateful!

i made a promise to them that day that i would always tell them when i was getting low again and i made a promise to myself that day that i would keep them in the forefront of my mind in all of my decisions and i would also promise to try and help anyone else who was ever in the same position i was in.

depression is a funny old thing, everyone will experience some form of depression throughout their life, some people are genetically wired to experience it, some people will experience it from a young age, some dont experience it until very late on in life, some experience it from sad/happy/overwhelming life events, some unlucky souls just never find happiness. but no matter what EVERYONE will, at somepoint experience depression. in this blog im going to try and explain how i've learned to manage and cope with mine.

A bit of a backstory of my depression, it started around the age of 14-15, my depression. I dont know where it came from but it was right around the time of my GCSE's, college, boys, hormones, and being diagnosed with PCOS (for those of you who dont know what that is its Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) i was told at a young age of 14 that i had some sort of syndrome which "would only matter when i got older", and that i had some of the prettiest ovaries the sonographer and gyneacologist had ever seen... in hindsight that wasnt going to be the compliment i first thought it was or the dismissive statement they portrayed it and brushed it off as, at all! THAT diagnosis changed alot of my life, however i will get back to that.

As most teens do around here I started studying for my GCSE's at just 15 years old. i was so stressed out i started actually hearing a screaming voice in my head. i suffered panic attacks daily, sometimes a few attacks a day, and that is where my anxiety started and then, good old depression smashed me in the face. i found the more stressed i became, the more id hear that screaming inside my head which then lead me to thinking " holy fucking shitballs im hearing voices im actually insane" therefore leading to more anxiety and panic attacks. so much so i would come home exhausted at 4pm everyday crawl into my pyjamas and climb into bed ready to do it all again the following day. (dont get me wrong i sat most nights on msn using the latest flashing emojis for EACH and EVERY letter of the alphabet, to the point it looked more like hyroglyphics and obviously getting the colours just right with the codes to make your name and status show in a rainbow. but that was all done in pj's curled up in bed because i couldnt manage much else ... however, if my mam asks i was revising and doing my homework THE. WHOLE. TIME, not talking to my friends about how hot a certain crush's bum looked that day ha! am i right! :P xoxo)

This was all a massive thing for me to go through aswell, due to the fact my dad has mental health issues and lives with schizophrenia, so, naturally at this point, you can imagine i was picturing myself in padlocked straight jackets and padded cells, talking away to the screaming voice in my head. the funniest thing was this screaming voice wasnt saying anything nasty or bad it was just my thoughts screaming at me like everything was angry, so genuinely just everyday life thoughts but those screaming at me, like, imagine thinking "leanne dont forget to pack your PE kit" but in the voice of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket... it. was. TERRIFYING!

Anyways, so yes high school was a massive contributor, then i made the choice to leave college at 17 because i, like many others, didnt have the faintest clue what i wanted to be when i grew up (little did i know id live the life of peter pan and neverland would be my sesh house OIOI!!!) In leaving college i went into full time work, as a 'temp job' until i decided what i was going to do... unfortunately, 8 and a half years later i was still their prisoner! haha, Nah, dont get me wrong i met some absolutely amazing people in that job and i did love it but i knew at the end, if i didnt get out it was going to kill me off. I'd gotten to the point in that job that i cried myself to sleep knowing i had to go back in the next day. that place contributed alot to my depression not because it was a bad job but because id made a wrong decision and was stuck there. i had to leave.

my next massive contributor, and this is where i divulge some of my REAL heartbreaks. PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or what i like to call Poly fucking Cystic fucking Ovary fucking Syndrome or "lets just fuck shit up!" (no im not bitter about it at all lol) because of this shit, from the very young age of 14 (like puberty isnt hard enough - spots, hair in places you never wanted boobs growing overnight, bleeding once a month being the biggest inconvenience) i have also had to deal with weight issues, hersuitism, depression, anxiety, hormones that sent me bat shit crazy, pain, headaches, fatigue, you name it i had it. but the biggest heartbreak, being told that id always have difficulty concieving and carrying a child. Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows i have always wanted to be a mam. (and not the sesh mam who looks after all my drunken idiotic friends on a night out ... coz i swear thats all they ever think i do lol) I mean a real mam, to a real baby. and being told at a young age that i had the prettiest ovaries the gyneacologist had ever seen wasnt the compliment i thought it was because it turned out my ovaries were absolutely covered in cysts. And for years i have tried to have a baby but alas nothing ever happens. i've had a few close calls and ive miscarried, or at least i think i did, the test came back positive but then about 3 days after that pretty pink second line, i had the heaviest period i had ever had for around 4 hours and then my body went back to normal as if nothing happened. it broke my heart.

They say the human body is delicate and intricate and should be treated with respect... i say its a machine and its a absolute twat at times, and why should i respect what in essence has caused me heartbreak from a young age FOR NO FUCKING REASON. but hey ho... life. goes. on.

so... thats my life story or just a snippet of it. and some of the reasons why i have depression.

heres how i cope...

Well, for a long time.. and i mean a VERY LONG time i didnt. i hid it, i hid away from the world. i drank alot. i avoided family, i avoided my best friends, i avoided anything that would have brought me back to reality.

For a long time though, thats what i needed. now im not saying running away from your issues is easy and thats what you should do because its definitely not. im saying i NEEDED to do it at the time because i had no other way of coping and i NEEDED too to learn what not to do in the future. So masking, for me, was better than facing things 'alone'. In that time though, i made my issues alot worse and in fact caused more issues. it hurt my family, my friends and well hurt myself too, because in the long run i still had to sober up and i still had to deal with the same issues that got me down in the first place, i ended up in debt which contributed further too my issues. I did some very silly things which when i look back on them now i could have hurt so many people. i took an overdose of painkillers at one point around 2 and a half years ago. I felt so weak i saw no other outcome but instantly regretted doing it and made myself sick so that they came back up. i've told my mother and close friends about this previously but i think to really show how much i've learned and to reach out to anyone who is feeling the same way i did, to tell them IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER AND EASIER. i think saying that, shows my honesty throughout this post and allows for my experience and honesty really show that i want to help anyone going through the same thing.

Masking just makes the pain go away for a short period of time. learning from your pain and making it your strength is how you really overcome your own mind and depression.

It wasnt until i realised i was never alone, just how selfish and stupid id been all that time, because in masking, hiding and running away, id stupidly stopped myself from a faster recovery, less heartache, less pain and mental and physical torture. and really i stopped myself from helping others in the same position as me.

it wasnt until i learned to make my pain my strength that i truly found peace in who i am.

i still have days where those voices wont shut up, and they win and thats ok.

i still have days where i cannot climb out of bed and thats ok.

i still have days where i cry and the pain is too much and thats ok.

because i learned all of it really is ok! everyone has those same thoughts the same feelings the same illnesses. and i know that tomorrow WILL be a better day.

you just need to learn how to make it and own it as your own!

nothing has changed for me, all of those things are still true they're still real, my body hasnt miraculously healed itself, i still made poor life choices, it hasnt changed my hormonal imbalances but it has changed my mindset. it has changed my life. i made a choice to change my mindset and not let it beat me i decided to let people in. my family are my guardian angels because they never gave up on me, they dragged it out of me and frogmarched me to the doctors for the help i needed but some people dont have that support in their lives.

i'm lucky enough now, to have lived with this for long enough to know my signs, and when i know what i call, "going dark" is coming. basically when i start slipping and losing control of it again, i identify it and know how to manage it head on. unfortunately my body because of the stupid "intricate machine" i have and how broken it is (believe me the day i can swap out into an AI robot body imma sign straight up for that shit imma have me a body like Jennifer Anniston) my body however tends to go into a meltdown, i end up with more migraines, pain and infections. i also get extremely tired to the point i can sleep for a good 15-20 hours a day and thats not me being lazy (although if sleeping were an olympic sport i'd be the universal champion of it BED=LIFE) thats really me needing to reset. at that point in time when i know this is coming, thats when i reach out; i tell my friends and my family "I'm not okay" because i know now i can do that, i can talk to them.

i, personally, take medication daily, and for some reason we live in a society where people are actually shamed for doing so. i know if i dont take those 2 little tablets every day i will lose control and become a shell of who i really am. my seratonin levels drop and i practically become a robot barely functioning. so why should i be ashamed of those 2 little 'happy pills' which make me the person i want to be and know i truly am! no chemical imbalance is going to get the better of me! if i can have the help, im damned sure going to take it. along with the happy pills, aswell as alot of sleep, sunbeds, spending time with family and friends whenever i possibly can, i now have a job that i love, i also retrained as a beautician, and i love going to the gym and swimming whenever i can, ive found i can manage mine alot better. one thing that massively changed my life was limitting when i drink. i rarely go out drinking anymore and the reason is because i know deep down i will end up in a very low state afterwards. alcohol is a depressant and i wont allow that kind of thing to get me down. so now instead i choose to drink once a month if not less. i havent cut out the drink completely i just know if i want to get blinding drunk i need to be in a very happy place to do so. so i am careful where i drink, who i drink with and what i do whilst im drinking and unfortunately much to my neighbours disgust that tends to be in the house whilst singing along to whitney houston or disney songs at the top of my lungs, but thats how i know i'll not plummet the day after, and lets face it anyone whose heard me singing knows whitney had nothing on me ;)

In all seriousness though, the best advice i can give anyone living with depression is talk to someone, talk to your family, talk to your neighbour, talk to your friends, talk to your doctor, talk to your dog, your cat, the postman, the man on the bus who sits oddly close too you... just talk to anyone. tell them how you are feeling tell them your experiences. tell them what is getting to you. Find someone who you can trust, find a stranger. write it all down in a blog. video it. GET IT ALL OFF YOUR CHEST! SAY IT OUT LOUD! Just. Bloody. Talk! please!

everyones experiences with depression are different some people mask it, some people show it, some people (like me now) shout it from the fucking rooftops because im not afraid of my emotions anymore.

everyones ways of coping are different too, some people find the gym helps, some rely on medication, some rely on talking therapies... there are so many different ways of coping out there now... the only way that doesnt work is not admitting something is wrong and fighting your own mind without help, knowing something isnt right but still doing nothing about it. The only way of not coping is living a lie, you dont have to do this alone!

Basically do those things just for you, the ones you've always wanted to do! get that tattoo you wanted, quit your job, retrain, change your hair colour, buy that car, buy that dog, book that holiday.

do what makes YOU happy!

live for you and open up, people would rather know how you are feeling than see you struggle or ultimately not be here.

open up you never know someone might be feeling the exact same way you are and it could bring you closer.

but remember most importantly:

You ARE NOT Alone..

You ARE NOT Crazy..

You ARE NOT insane..

You HAVE NOT lost the plot..

You ARE NOT hopeless..

You ARE NOT worthless..

You ARE NOT unloveable..

You ARE NOT pathetic..

You ARE NOT weird..

You ARE NOT a psycho..

You ARE NOT strange..

And..

You ARE okay...

You ARE Beautiful..

You ARE Worth it..

YOU ARE Loved

i hope this helps...

thank you ☺

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eremika-forever12 · 4 years

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|| Eremika Fanfic: Remember Me!? ||

This is basically continuation from Manga plot with some changes ....you will get to know as story progresses! Do read, share & comment!

Chapter : 1

Just like any day....the sun rose from East making the whole city glow from its heat!

Just like every day everyone is back to their own chores !

Since that day of the new history of Shinganshina or to be more accurate the new Paradis....where there is no more walls, no more eldians & marliyans hatred....it was more like a new Era....Everything has just changed!

People know more about the truth with No Memory Loss....No Misconception Of Titans & Their Existence....Cause Titans Are Just A History Now Which Kids In Their Schools Learn About Their Past Existance!

6 Years....

6 Years Since He Disappeared....Vanished Just Into The Thin Air Just Like That! Leaving her alone once again in this Cruel World! He is known as humanity's Biggest Enemy Now....Who was once recognised as Humanity's Only Hope! But Something Tells Her....His Decision Changed The Whole Prespective! He Actually Changed This World....United Them To Fight Against Him! Sacrificed Himself....For The Cause Of His Own People! No Matter In Which Way But He Succeeded...Even If It Is By Being Cold Hearted Mass Murderer....She knows he was The Saviour, He Was No Monster!

But.....The Sad Part Is He Just Disappeared Like That 6 Years Back After That Rumbling Ended!

No One Noticed Him Since Then Nor His Giantic Titanic Body!

Did he deceive her all again? After making her that promise of returning back alive....wrapping around her that piece of cloth...before going for that final battle against everyone....Did he just die like that after doing so much....not even once meeting her again! Is he actually dead? Where is he? Where is Eren Yeager?

Just like any day....Mikasa starts her day thinking about him....just when her thoughts broke off hearing the powerful scream of her son....shrieking the hell out of her!

“ MOOMMM “

“Ahhh....Heyyy....” says Mikasa shocked watching that little guy running to her hurriedly with a backpack in his hand.

“ MOMMMM! GETTT ME MY FOOD HURRY! I GOTTA BE LATE FOR MY SCHOOL IF YOU JUST KEEP ON SITTING LIKE THAT! I AM HUNGRY” says the little guy with his loud voice.

“ Hush! Cant you speak a bit normally? I mean whats with all these shouting! I am not deaf!” scowls Mikasa as she gets up from the dining table.

The boy simply shrugs- Look Mom! I have no time for this....Alright! I am HUNGGRRYYY!

Ah that pout....thinks Mikasa....his cute little pout always makes her heart melt....and those Green eyes...it just reminds her of him! Thinking about him makes her Sad again!

Mikasa brings a plate full of noodles as she pushes it slightly towards the little devil on the other side of dining table.

The little guy hungrily takes the spoon out of it as he starts rolling the strands of noodles in it....and hurriedly stuffs them in his mouth.

Mikasa stares at her little boy silently observing his every features....his antics were just completely like his dad. Mikasa sighs....only if he was here! Suddenly her eyes fell on a small bruise on his forhead...Mikasa frowned....

When did he got that! Damn....did he just again fight with someone in his school yesterday!

This boy will surely make her crazy....

Mikasa glares at the green eyed little boy who was busy in gulping down his glass of water without noticing his mother's furious glare!

Mikasa in serious tone- Eli.....Look at me!

Eli looks at his mother in confusion as he stops munching his food for a moment...

Eli mumbling – Yes Mom!

Mikasa scowls- What is with that scar on your head!

Eli gasps in shock as he looks else where but not in her eyes....he surely tried to hide that thing by bringing his most of the black hair upto his forehead so that his mother wont notice that scar!

Eli nervously while fidgeting a little as he speaks in his child like voice- Errmm...Its nothing...actually...I fell on the way while returning to home so I guess Got hurt a little!

Mikasa glares- Eli...Shut up! Dont dare you lie to me! Since you got admitted to the school...I have been receiving lots of complain due to your rude behaviour towards children! So dont give me that crap! Did you fight again with someone?

Eli glares back at his mother as he says raising his voice- Rude behaviour? I am not Rude! Its not my fault if those kids of my class bumps into me intentionally just to tease me ! I am not gonna keep my mouth shut if they taunts me by calling me Monster Baby! I am gonna punch their freaking ugly face for calling me that! I had enough of it! I am not weak or Something....

Mikasa scolds him as she raises her voice- Eli! Stop it! If they taunts you....its not necessary for you to reply them back! Stop being impulsive! You cant just beat up people if they tell you something! Learn to control yourself!

Eli tries to defend himself- But...

Mikasa holds his shoulders softly- Eli listen to me!

As Eli stares with his big green eyes, Mikasa with broken voice tells him- Punching someone or beating someone wont prove you strong! I know how it feels but you gonna get adjusted to this! You dont need to start a fight with someone if they say hateful words to you! I know you are strong Eli! But you need to control yourself! Your anger wont do any good....

Eli remains mum as he softly shrugs off his mother's hand....taking his back pack on his back.

Eli calmly- I am done with my breakfast! Bye Mom!

Before Mikasa could say anything, Eli runs out of the house way to his school while Mikasa just whispers watching him running away- Bye! Just dont fall into any trouble Eli! You are the only one I have! I have lost everything in my life....I dont want to loose you!

Mikasa stares at sky scattered with clouds and the sun rays with birds flying...

Mikasa murmers as lone tear escapes from her eyes- Eren....I Wish You Were Here!

***********

Eli has been walking merrily along the way towards his school when he hears someone calling him from behind....

Eli turns around and squeals in happiness seeing the blonde hair guy with that scout uniform- Uncle Arlert!

The blond guy walks hurriedly towards him as he laughs- Its Armin!

Eli rolls eyes- oh yeah its the same thing! Arlert is also your name anyways!

Armin giggle- oh well young man ! Off to school ha? Come I will take you there!

Eli with his head high- No need! I can walk to my school myself!

Armin nods his head gently- ofcourse you can! But I have to make sure you dont fall in any trouble you know....or else your mom will be worried!

Eli frowns as he chirps in his child voice- Wait Mom asked you to follow me!

Armin nods in negetive as he nervously says- No No....Not that lately she is being really worried about you! So I thought to have a check on you....

Eli yells angrily- Heyyyy! What the hell is wrong with everyone damn it! I am not a toddler or something! I dont need anyone! I can look out for myself! I am freaking 5 years! Leave me Alone uncle Arlert ! You have your own daughter....Just look after that pathetic princess of Yours!

Saying this....Eli ran off hurriedly before Armin could follow him any further.

Armin was shocked by his reaction! He wasnt expecting such outburst! He was not told by Mikasa to follow him....he just did it cause he felt he had some responsibility towards his best friend's son after what just happened a week back in his school!

But today this out burst....he just completely reminded of HIM!

It wasnt for first time....Eli was like this anyways since he was born....stubborn & pure brat with that pathetic anger of him but he usually doesnt talk like this with him....he is really fond of his uncle Arlert & his only friend Alina Arlert....his & Annie ‘s daughter! Yes They are no more titan shifters now! That power & the curse got ended 6 years back immediately after the rumbling! They were all normal now....

Alina is 4 now....a year younger than Eli...She still didnt get admission in school yet , most probably after she turns 5....she will also start going to school and accompany Eli too...

But well right now Armin is concerned about Eli sudden outburst....did he get into an argument with Mikasa again in morning! He seemed really pissed off hearing his mother’s name!

He needs to talk to Mikasa right now....

***********

Eli was breathing heavily as he stops mid way & looks back....damn his little legs are paining now! He just ran a marathon to escape from Armin.

Aaahhh He hates just being lectured every damn time! Nobody just understands him & his point of view! His mom only thinks him of as some brat who doesnt listen to her or something! What she doesnt understand is....Eli is just tired of this daily bully of him in school by calling him some monster's child, Titan baby, illegitimate kid etc etc ! When he tries to explain this to his mom....all she tells him to not react to them! Like how the hell....why wont he react to those carzy bunch of people who simply insults him! Eli's anger just rose thinking about all these! He realises...he just ran off bit too far from his school....in some empty area with less people walking around! The area has some broken houses all around....people dont live here now much! Duh he is in no mood to walk back to his school....missing a day at school wont be any harm ,thinks Eli.

He just notices a bench a bit far.....and walks towards it & sit down!

He wants to be alone from his mother's scoldings and lectures! Eli always wondered why he didnt have a father like every other kid! He has been numerous times taunted about this by some adults in their neighbours! They simply call him Titan Baby & he hate that Word Titan! He doesnt really know what are those but once he heard some students in school talking about it....Titans were some bad ugly creatures who used to be on this land some years back! And Eli understood he was simply called those ugly creature's kid....

Once he dared to ask his mother about his own dad....but didnt get any answer from her instead he made her sad for some unknown reasons. He hates his mom to be sad or to cry! Its true his mom is strict in many ways and over protective too but Eli loves his Mom very much....just only he wishes if only she understood his feelings! Since Eli never questioned his mom about his Dad whom he never met!

Eli was lost in his thoughts as he was swinging his small legs over the bench absent mindedly....when all of a sudden he felt some one was watching him from far....Eli’s eyes travelled up infront of him as he felt alert all of sudden....

He noticed a Silhouette infront of him......on the wall ahead of that old broken house...someone is standing behind HIM!

To be continued.....

Chapter : 2 - click here

#eren yeager #eren x mikasa #eremika fanfic #eremika #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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inanimate-insanity-headcanons · 4 years

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this is long and im so sorry

“Dont touch me” Nickel hisses, shifting away from Trophys hand while glaring at him.

“why?” Trophy asks in a smug voice. He contimues to mess with nickel. He keep reaching to try touching Nickels hair again and again, each time being more sudden than the last.

“Cause i dont like being touched!” Nickel says, getting more and more agitated and panicked, swats at the taller man with a shaky hand in a feeble attept to get him to stop.

“Thats a stupid reason” Trophy jeers, now using his entire hand and placing it on Nickels shoulders, head, and neck. He is borderline pulling his hair also. Trophy starts to use both of his hands and he starts stifling laughter as Nickel continues to get more and more panicked. It isnt long until poor boy starts to get overwhelmed. He starts shaking and, very soon after that, crying. Trophy stops for a moment, staring at the hyperventilating mess infront of him, berfore laughing.

“Are you really crying?” Trophy asks through laughter as Nickel pulls his hood over his head and burries his face in his arms. He still swats at Trophy.

“Thats so fucking pathetic!” He teases. That finally got Soap to snap and rush over to put an end to Trophys bullying. The woman quickly rushes over to where the two guys are, slapping Trophy.

“Trophy stop harrasing Nickel” Soap scolds, grabbing Trophys arms before he could reach for him again and lifts them away from Nickel. Nickel took this time to get out of the bar stool he was in to move to the settee in the main lobby and circled around the chair onto one of the seats, curling himself up and yanking his jackets hood over his head more than before.

“But its funny!” Trophy whines in a almost childish manner, yanking his wrists out of soaps tight grasp.

He looks around for where his prey went, and he let out an annoyed sigh and turns back to Soap while saying “You let him get away!”. Soap immediately gains an offended and angry look. Its almost similar to how a mother would look at a rebelious teenager.

Soap scoffs and responds, in an equally annoyed tone, “You where the only harrassing him and making him want to hide!”

While they are arguing, Nickels cat, Asher, quietly trotted to him. She quickly sits infront of when Nickel lay before bouncing up and crawling into his arms. Nickel hugs her back tightly.

“pfft, I dont care about if it hurts him, its funny” Trophy says, a uncaring and snarky tone in his voice. He paces over to the settee and leaning over the back of the seat and laying his hand on Nickels shoulder, smirking when he feels the latter tense and start to shake again under his palm.

“You gonna start crying more, you baby?” He mocks, hitting Nickel on the shoulder roughly as the latter shakes more and hugs the smokey grey cat tighter. He ignores Cheesy, who was sitting next to Nickel, telling him to stop, and he ignores anyone else to tells him to stop.

The only time he stops is when Asher finally has enough and stands up, still in Nickels arms, and hisses and swats at Trophy, who reels his hand back and walks away muttering about how stupid the grey cat was.

Asher lays back down and immediately goes back to purring and trying to comfort Nickel, who has yet to stop shaking but is noticably more calm now that Trophy is gone.

Sadly enough, that only marked the begining of Trophys harassment.

Many months after that Trophy bullys Nickel to the point of overwhelming him. And, when he shakes and cries, he makes fun of him for that while still harrassing him. It only makes Nickel feel worse. Most of the time, Trophy only mocks him and verbally abuses him and laughs when he reacts the way he does.

Sometimes, though, he will get physical.

He will do things like steal his box of stuff he collected at the forest and hold it to where he cant reach, randomly touch him and continue doing that, lightly tugging his hair for a long time, and, every so often, he will steal his bandana and hold it so where he cant reach and watch him and laugh at him try desperately to get it back.

Trophy keeps doing this throughout Paintbrushs and Fans elimination. He ignores everyone who tries to stop him, and he only will stop if its only of Nickels “Dumb Animals” who stops him, or if someone physically puts an end to his torment.

He doesnt even notice people treating him differently. He doesnt notice that people avoid him more, dont talk to him as much, and when they talk bad about him when hes not paying attention.

It happens less since Paintbrush arrived, since they always put an end to it quickly.

This goes on for almost two years. Until, Trophy finally causes something bad to happen.

Trophy was being physical, but this time he is hitting and tugging his hair. Trophys laughter filled the area as he sees Nickel start to shake. He continues hitting and tugging the latters hair, pulling his hands away when Nickel swats at them only to resume right when he stops depfending himself.

“Are you gonna cry? fucking Crybaby” he says, a cruel and terribly happy tone in his rude voice. He only continues on when tears start leaking down Nickels cheeks and he starts hyperventilating.

“Leave me alone, asshat” Nickel barks, his voice breaking due to tears. Trophy merely scoffs at this and attacks the smaller male more.

“No! Seeing you like this to too good to pass up!” Trophy smirks. He continues on like hes watching the most entertaining scene in his lifetime.

“Trophy stop” Paintbrush says, starting to get angry. They tower over the mentioned person, placing a hand onto his shoulder in a tight grip.

“why? its to funny seeing him like this!” Trophy says, shaking off Paintbrushes hand. He starts to make his movement quicker, and now Nickel is just covering his head with his arms in a weak attept to stop Trophy from reaching his hair. It doesnt work.

It wasnt until Trophy does a fast reach to touch Nickels face does shit really happen.

Right at Trophy did that, Nickel violently flinched away, now covering his face with his arms and letting out a loud, fearful yell of “Please stop!!”. While he screams that he collapses to the ground into a ball, shaking and crying while whispering “im sorry” and “please dont hurt me” over and over again in a panicked, muffled voice. His face digging into his knees and his head covered by his arms and hood.

Everyone stands still. Trophy is frozen in place, his arm still raised and a shocked and slightly confused expression in his face. He snaps back to reality quickly and he attempts to reach for him.

“H-hey man, cut that out-” Trophy tries to say before Paintbrush violently punches him to the ground.

“LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU DUMBASS FUCKING ASSHOLE” They scream at Trophy, literally flaming in sheer rage and hatred, before calming down and turning their attention to Nickel. Paintbrush quickly walks over to the tiny man, crouching down to him.

“hey hey, it me. Its paintbrush. Im going to pick you up, ok?” Paintbrush asks, taking off their paint stained apron, dropping it on the floor, and carefully pulled Nickel into their arms. Nickel immediately wraps his arms and legs around Paintbrush’s torso and sobs into their chest.

“its ok, you are going to get hurt. Its ok” They whisper to Nickel as he shakes in their arms. They quickly walk up the stairs to Nickels room with Asher right behind them, not before stopping to spit on Trophys face and call him a terrible person.

Trophy just sits on the ground, wiping the spit off of his face and then holding his throbbing cheek.

“what the fuck” is the only thing Trophy mutters before Soap starts screaming about how stupid he is.

Once Paintbrush, Nickel, and Asher get to Nickels room, Paintbrush quickly grabs the key from the top of the doorframe and unlocks the room, slipping in with the cat. They immediately went to one of the beds, sat down, and started to comfort Nickel. It is easier that expected, because Nickel calmed down on the way to his room.

“shh, shh. Its ok. Its ok. Take deep breaths. Your not gonna get hurt. Nothing will happen too you” Paintbrush mutters to Nickel, rubbing his back as they felt the latter start to relax.

They both sat in silence as Nickel relaxed and came back from his panic attack. Soon enough, Nickel was sitting next to them, holding Asher and leaning against their side.

“hey paintbrush?” Nickel mumbles, almost too quietly for Paintbrush to hear. He is still leaning against them. “yes?” Paintbrush responds, curious of what Nickel would want to ask.

“Dont tell Baseball about this, Ok?” Nickel says, not looking up at the extremely tall person next to him. That takes Paintbrush offguard for a second, but the more they think about it, the more it makes sense.

If Baseball, undenyable the closest person to Nickel, finds out about the months of Trophy tormenting Nickel and what happened today, He would loose his mind and surely hospitalize Trophy, if not kill him. And after that happens, Baseball would hold it against Trophy for centuries. He would also become even more protective of Nickel thah he already is.

Paintbrush winces at that thought.

“I wont tell him” Paintbrush reassures. “-Now i gotta leave so i can go beat up Trophy” They say, getting up and walking out of the room. Nickel only hums in response, now fixated on Asher. Paintbrush shuts the hotel room door with a soft sigh before rage starts to boil in them again. They start speedwalking down the hallway and down the stairs, already getting angry at what Trophy did again.

from crow! bless

#writing #submission #ii #inanimate insanity #nickel ii #trophy ii #paintbrush ii #baseball ii #tw bullying #ask to tag!#sorry if the formatting isnt the same as how you sent it tumblr makes it weird

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