Tumgik
#i have nothing to say for myself i made this for gay reasons and that's it
fictionalstorybyme · 6 months
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Jaxson is a young hot dude and he knows a bit about how some people, boys mostly are in awe of his self-proclaimed awesomeness. He was very confident from years earlier and now at age eighteen he had a new group to torture with his cunning seductive smile and friendly manner. But he always had an agenda. He scoped out the students at the beginning of classes. He would trot in everyday in outfits that were made his admirers droll. His slender body was tailor made for the classic look of jeans and sneakers. He was able to pick out the various fetishes of each of the many who adored him as he flirted easily with boys, girls and teachers. He could map out a plan to get them to fall in love with him and used that to dominate and control them as he pleased. He possessed an arrogance and knew how to show his displeasure with a single look. An example was Ryan…
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He had this way of making you feel you were the only person in the room, the party, the world that counted to him. His ability to focus on you with 100% of his soul, that attention was crazy addictive. He created inside jokes that he could pass along a crowded with just his expressive eyes. It seemed every time you looked for him, he was already looking at you. Our eyes met and he winked and did a facial gesture or stick out his tongue and made me laugh. It seemed every time that I wanted to leave, he was by my side and asked me. “You wanna get something to eat (when I was hungry) or just go for a ride in his convertible. He had this sixth sense of what was going on inside my head. “Trouble with the big brother?” “Trouble with your mom?” “You can talk to me if you want, you know I’m always here. Quiet is good, too.” The thing is that he was always right. How he could tell if the situation was my big brother or my younger brother, he just read me like a book. It was really nice when i thought it was because he really cared. I had the house swept for spy shit, but nothing. He would have been the one, and i ain’t gay. But for him, I don’t know how it’d work, IF it’d work, but one thing was for sure. JAX KNEW ME KNOWS ME STILL to this VERY day. Jaxson knows me better than anybody and everybody combined.
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He keeps saying it’s in my head and that, yeah he had other friends. We were in high school, after all and our job was making and being friends. TRUE! He swears to this day, I was the real deal in his mind. THE BFF. “But Ryan,” Jax said, “You know you’re not gay. I know you’re not gay. So, understand I had to have other friends. I never wanted to say this, because: If I had said, “I L❤️ VE YOU” and your mind would be be in turmoil. I knew we made a good friendship match. Maybe at the beginning I might have thought it’d be cool to have one of the premier guys that i’ve ever known and had the distinct honor and pleasure to know and be friends with convert to the other team. Girls attempt to change guys like me to be straight. Would I actually be your friend if I attempted that with you? I KNOW I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAPPY! Maybe for a the honeymoon period? That’s why it’s called the honeymoon period. It doesn’t last. If I had have said this earlier, Ryan, I’d never ever forgive myself. Ever! I really have always put your needs and wants ahead of mine. Always! I never wanted you to do anything just to please me and not please yourself. That’s what the people who get called that disgusting name. If loving me turned you into a fag, I’d sooner kill myself than permit that. I’m not that kind of guy who is selfish and wants to see if you’ll change teams to be with him.” “I get it, Jaxson. I really do. You are right. You never tried to convert me or suggest i experiment to be sure. But why didn’t you tell me that so i could shield myself from the eventual pain and suffering?”
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“For the same reason you didn’t tell me you were certain you were straight, Ryan. I didn’t know for sure just like you didn’t know for sure.” Ryan nodded and agreed, allowing all the rage and anger to dissipate and desolve into the either. “ONE THING WE DID KNOW FOR SURE!” Jaxson said. “WE WERE THE PERFECT COMBINATION OF WHAT LIFETIME FRIENDSHIPS HAVE IN COMMON. OPPOSITES ATTRACT AND RESPECT. If I didn’t respect you Ryan, I’d try to have you in my bed every night with experimenting as the reason why. Thats why we go to college. To try new things. You admitted you had a crush on me.” “A HUGE CRUSH!” Ryan corrected. “You were infatuated with me. Is that a fair statement?” “Yes,” Ryan said. “Well, I too am a human being capable of having crushes and being infatuated with another.” Jaxson said. “I had a huger crush, so infatuated was I with you that i couldn’t eat for ten days, because my infatuation turned into love. You don’t try to change the one you love into something they are not! You are not gay! I know that because Ry, I wanted you so bad, but you never picked up a clue. Am i correct?” “One hundred percent!” Ryan answered. “So we’re just friends?”
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daniswoso · 2 months
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Mean.
DVD x Reader
Summary: Daan sort of terrifies you, eventually you learn you had no reason to be scared.
Warnings: Swearing, gay panic, minor crisis No hate to Ellie and Daan’s current relationship or either of them I adore them!!!, overthinking (sort of?), reader and Daan being oblivious, use of Y/N.
********
You and Danielle had been teammates for the past 3 months. You however wouldn't consider yourselves friends.
You don't know why, you don't know when, but you just automatically assumed Danielle hated you. Maybe it was the way she'd have an unreadable expression on her face when you'd speak French to your other teammates. Or the way she'd absolutely show no mercy during matches or training.
The amount of times you had been on the receiving end of an angry Danielle Van De Donk in training, well... you had lost count, you just knew they hurt.
Today was a team bonding day at Ada's house, nothing too serious, just you and all the girls from Lyon sat around playing fifa and being competitive little shits.
However, it was just your luck you arrived late. And that the only available seat was the one next to the woman you swore hated you.
But you took it, despite being shit scared of her.
Everything was going well, you didn't necessarily speak to each other that much, only exchanging one word at a time. The dutch woman clearly not up for conversation, with you at least. But she was certainly up for it with the blonde on the other side of her, Ellie Carpenter.
You don't know why on Earth it bothered you so much. The way Ellie looked at Danielle with a lovesick expression, the way she'd laugh a tad too hard at her jokes, the way she'd hang off her every word. It annoyed you to no end, and you didn't know why. Which only made you more annoyed.
Which then led to you heading into Ada's kitchen, trying to not throw the glass you were pouring wine into at the wall out of frustration.
Why the hell was this bothering you so much? You were terrified of the woman! You had seen the way she tore her opposition apart on the pitch. You had seen the way she tackled so fiercely. You had seen the way her muscular arms flexed as she was in the gym, the way she panted after a heavy training session.
Holy shit. You were scared of her. But it was maybe possible that you like liked her too? You weren't sure, and that was a whole can of worms you had no intention of opening in the middle of Ada's fucking kitchen.
You're snapped out of your thoughts by none other than the brunette herself, looking down at you with wide, concerned eyes.
"You okay?" She asks, she was actually speaking to you.
"Yeah, just reconsidering life choices and pretending not to hate myself and the feelings I have." You chuckled awkwardly, hoping it would come off as a joke rather than you over sharing. You gulped nervously as the joke fell flat, only getting a concerned slightly judgemental look from Danielle, downing the remainder of your wine.
"Okay, Y/N, maybe you should slow down with the alcohol." She chuckled, although there was an underlying concern to her tone as she removed the wine glass from your hand gently. She offered you a bashful smile, which you returned; hoping it didn't come off as a grimace.
You stand there in not-quite-awkward but not-quite-comfortable silence for a moment, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet.
She sniffs and wipes her nose, smiling at you awkwardly.
"So.." You say, dragging out the 'o' sound.
"So." She replies, much less dragged out than you did.
"I think I'm gonna go home." You smile awkwardly, moving to grab your bag.
She grabs your arm, turning your back around to look at her.
"I could come with you? Get a cup of coffee?" She offers, before adding to it in a nervous ramble, "If you want to that is! If not it's totally fine!" she stammers before shutting up at the sound of your laugh.
"Sure, Danielle." You replied.
“Please. Call me Daan, Y/N/N.” She smirks.
"You know," you say after a beat of silence that followed the dying down laughter, "when I first met you, I thought you were mean." You laugh, shaking your head.
Danielle looks slightly shocked, her brows furrowing before she grinned, "Well, I hope I've proved you wrong."
You laugh, nodding. "You have."
She smiles triumphantly and you go back to eating your pastries in comfortable silence.
"So, what about me made you think I was mean?" She bemusedly asked, raising an eyebrow.
You thought for a moment, before your face softened and you shrugged, "I don't actually know. I mean, your confidence and your work ethic alongside how you play on the pitch? Jesus that's fucking terrifying. But I don't know why I was scared of you off the pitch, or why I thought you were mean."
You both laugh, "Alright, anything else?" She snickers before taking a sip of coffee.
"Ah! There's also that face you make when I speak French with the others, it's like you're judging me." You laugh, you swear your abs are getting more defined with how hard you've laughed in the past 30 minutes.
"What! No! I wasn't judging you! I was jealous of you!" She laughs loudly, before your fits of giggles came to an end, "And it's incredibly attractive." She murmurs quietly, quiet enough you don't hear her.
"What?" You hum.
She sighs, "And you're so attractive when you speak French." she mutters, cursing slightly as heat rises to her cheeks.
"You... You think I'm attractive?" You grin as she nods, using your index and thumb to pull her head up, making her look at you. "If it helps I think you're pretty fit too." You laugh softly as her eyes light up.
"Y/N?" She asks quietly.
"Yeah, Daan?" You ask, your breath hitching as she leaned in.
"I like you." She admits.
"I like you too."
Silence, but only for a moment.
She leans in, her lips moving against yours, almost as if they were a perfect fit against your own. Well, at least she didn't hate you.
******
A/N: hi! sorry for not posting much, but here’s something while i write up some part 2’s (and 3’s!) of stuff :)
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iblameashley · 1 month
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Ghost Falls Silent, Simon Stands
Civilian | Male | Gay
3,800~ words
Content: Hospitalization, recovery, cohabitation, use of 'lad' (gendered language?), nightmares, gay stuff, fluff, happy ending.
Follow up to Something to look forward to
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley | Male
!!!SFW!!!
When Simon "Ghost" Riley is injured protecting you, his recovery means a month confined to home - that is, after two weeks of sedation in the base medical wing. Captain Price requests you stay and assist. Through highs and lows, you stand steadfast by Ghost's side. As feelings begin to emerge, Ghost must confront what it means to open his heart some more and whether a future beyond warfare could truly be possible or if he'll continue fighting alone.
Tag List: @a-sleepy-dissapointment
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(Thanks to @loneghostwolf for permission to use this image)
You had been sitting outside of Simon's room in the medical wing as Price came along to have a 'talk' with him. You weren't too far from the door, but were close enough to hear Price's deep, commanding voice as he scolded Simon like a father would to a child.
Simon had been protesting his medical leave recommended by the staff. There was rarely an opportunity for them to get the Ghost in for any type of examination, and now that he had been there for a little over two weeks, they were recommending a month of medical leave, and this did not go over well with Simon.
So Price had made a request of you first, asking if you'd be willing to continue to watch over Simon when Price sent him home for recovery. You of course agreed, you'd become rather fond of that lumbering, stoic idiot.
And now here you were, unintentionally eavesdropping on Price and Simon.
“Simon Riley, I swear to God if you fuck this friendship up, I will put a bullet in you myself, you damn muppet!” Price fired back.
“I'm good to go, Price. The wound is healed, I just need a little training to get back into proper form... it shouldn't take more than a couple days at most, sir.” Simon replied, clearly trying to charm his way back into work with his confident tone.
Price was having none of it.
“Absolutely not.” Price shot him down without question. “I can't spare this room much longer, I can't spare Soap or Gaz to watch over your ass for a whole month, and I can't trust you to sit down and relax on base for the next month.” He grumbled with annoyance. “My best option is that wonderful lad out there who, for some reason, has been here for you since you were brought in. No complaints and no problems. He wants to be here, he wants to be your friend, and he wants to watch over you for the next month!”
Price stopped his tongue-lashing long enough to catch his breath, and Simon sat silently for a moment as his brain processed everything.
You of course were sitting in the corridor with a shit-eating grin on your face. Price was likely the only person on Earth who could talk to Simon this way and live, and it tickled you to know that Simon would bend to Price's will if enough pressure was applied.
“Fine.” Simon finally huffed. He surrendered to Price's demand. “But...”
“No 'buts', Simon. He will be accompanying you back to your flat and staying with you for the next month.”
You didn't need to be in the room to know the look Simon had on his face.
“Fine.” He said again in a tempestuous tone.
An image of Simon sitting in the bed with his arms crossed came to mind and you let out a breathy chuckle.
“When will I be discharged into his care?” Simon asked, pulling you from you daydream.
“Seventeen hundred hours, when he's technically finished his work for the day. You'll be loaded into a vehicle together and driven home.” Price explained. “I've already gone ahead and had Soap and Gaz prepare your flat for the two of you, since they had a few hours to spare today. You'll have groceries stocked and beds turned down. Soap may have ate the chocolates meant for the pillows, though.” Price joked.
With nothing more to say, Simon was resigned to his fate.
“Good lad.” Price said before leaving Simon's room. He flashed you a look and smile, “He'll be your problem in a few hours.”
“He always was.” You joked, giving Price a nod as he continued on his way down the corridor.
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Day 4
Its been four days. Four.
You woke up to the smell of something burning and a voice cursing form the kitchen in a Manchester accent. Simon. You threw the blankets back and begrudgingly sat up from the small cot Gaz and Soap had placed in the den of Simon's flat for you. It took a moment to gather your thoughts and boot your brain up enough to wander out into the kitchen to see some charcoal – apparently eggs – in the frying pan on the stove. There were some sausages cooking in another pan as well. Simon was limping around the kitchen looking for a solution.
“Little early in the morning to be trying to kill us both, don't ya' think?” You yawn as you walked over to the stove and pulled the pan off, tossing the chunks of eggs into the sink.
“I didn't ask for a babysitter.” Simon grunted. You notice him wince as he reached for something on the top cupboard, and you shake your head.
You drop the burnt pan into the sink and grab a new one, not quite hiding your frustration.
“Then stop acting like a fucking baby.” You shot back with a bit more vitriol than intended. “Think you can manage a cup of coffee for me and some tea for yourself?” You shot a second time, flashing him a tired and irritable look.
“Think so.” He grunted before moving to grab a couple of mugs.
You grabbed a fresh pan and placed it on the burner, turning the heat down and waiting a few minutes before cracking some fresh eggs. This man could dismantle bombs and take on multiple men in hand-to-hand, but was seemingly lost in his own kitchen.
“How do you like your eggs?” You asked, already cooking some sunny-side up eggs for yourself.
“D'innit matter.” Simon said as he worked away to prepare some drinks.
You shrugged and cracked some more eggs into the pan. Sunny-side up all around.
“Why are you so damn stubborn, Si?” You asked, tying to mask the sadness in your voice. You knew why, it was easy to figure out with a man like Simon Riley, but a part of you wanted to hear it from him.
“Don't need anyone to take care of me. Been takin' care of myself long enough.” His voice betrayed his words and you were, of course, unconvinced of his statement.
“Well... I'm here to help while you recover. I already agreed to do the cooking and cleaning while you caught up on paperwork – which was generous of Price to allow – and getting yourself back in shape for deployment.” You remind him, aiming the spatula at him.
Simon took a seat at the kitchen table as the water boiled in the kettle and simply stared at you. You were right, but it would be a cold day in hell before he said it out loud.
By the time the food was ready, Simon had a steaming mug of coffee for you and a tea for himself. You plated the eggs and sausages, as well as some toast you had made.
“Eggs... without a kitchen fire or the fire department. Enjoy.” You winked at him while buttering some toast.
“Thanks.” He mumbled into his tea.
Despite the attitude Simon had been giving you, you knew his gratitude ran deeper than he let on. He did eventually give you a small smile while he ate, which helped lighten your own mood, though you still had twenty-six days to go.
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Day 10
You were sitting in the living room with Simon, tapping away at your laptop as you worked well into the evening. You'd fallen behind in your work and decided to spend some time today catching up – and you were almost done as the storm outside really began to rage.
There was a crash of thunder that startled you; Simon looked over and his chest heaved as he silently laughed at you.
“Control... S” You murmured to yourself as you saved your work. Lessons had been learned years ago about this very situation.
“Power's bound to go out soon.” Simon sighed as he closed his book – one you had bought him at the market.
No sooner had those words escaped his lips than the lights flickered.
Then again.
And then died, plunging you both into almost complete darkness, your face illuminated by the dimmed screen of your laptop. Without the sounds of appliances or the TV, you could hear the roar of wind and pattering of the rain on the windows.
“I'll get the candles.” Simon advised as he got up off the couch.
You closed the lid of your laptop and got out your phone, turning on the flashlight and following close behind him. “I'll help.” You volunteered, tossing your laptop aside and jumping from the chair.
Soon his living room was flickering with the warm light from the candles. You sat on the couch next to him silently as the storm continued outside; you'd kill for wi-fi right now.
You pulled the skull throw you had gifted Simon from the back of the couch and wrapped it around you. It wasn't particularly cold, but it was comforting. You didn't have the courage to tell Simon you had a minor, teeny fear of the dark.
“Y'know... this storm reminds me of a camping trip I took when I was a bit younger.” You said, breaking the silence.
Simon simply stared at you, waiting for you to continue.
“Well, I stupidly dropped my compass and broke it... that should have been the first sign of things to come.” You chuckled as you recalled the memory. “Then of course the storm moved in and drenched me. I ran to cover, totally forgetting that you aren't supposed to take shelter under trees. A bolt of lightening reminded me as it struck several trees nearby.” You exhaled loudly, a smile playing on your face as you remembered just how close a call that experience was. “But because I also happen to have an overactive imagination, and was full of adrenaline and fear already, I could have sworn I saw a pale figure staring at me from the trees. It shrieked like a banshee and I damn near pissed myself. I was a Goddamn mess when I finally made my way back to my friends.” You let out an awkward laugh and looked over to Simon.
“Sounds terrifying.” Simon replied in his usual flat tone, though his eyes did dance with interest as he stared you down. “You're a brave lad to have emerged from that and carried on.”
There was no undertone of sarcasm of teasing in his tone, catching you off guard.
“You have any 'scary' stories?” You asked him, making yourself more comfortable under the throw.
“Aye..." MacTavish's influence seeped through. "...got a real spine tingling one for ya.” Simon nodded.
He leaned in close and lowered his voice. His eyes narrowed and he stared intently at you. “I was once a child.” He deadpanned.
You desperately wanted to keep your composure, but you felt the twitching of your lips as you started to crack. You let out a shaky chuckle before breaking into a full on laughing.
As you wiped the tears from your eyes, you could see Simon sitting back slightly, a tiny smile tugging at his lips in the dim light of the candlelit room.
“You're such a cunt.” You tittered.
Shifting his tone, Simon cleared his throat. “Thank you.” He rumbled alongside the thunder. “...its not so terrible, having you around.” He confessed.
The earnestness of the words surprised you; an admission you could never have predicted Simon to make.
“...and no one will ever believe you if you tell them I said that.”
There is was. You rolled your eyes.
“You're tolerable.” You shurg.
Simon chuckled, enjoying the playful banter between you two in the darkness of his flat. Even if parts of him were screaming to stop opening up to you.
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Day 21
You woke up groggy and confused as something slammed hard against the floor. It was coming from Simon's room and you moved as quickly as your heavy body would allow to get out of bed.
Walking down the hallway, you could hear the terrified sounds of Simon's distress. Standing at the doorway, you hesitated; your hand hovering over the door knob. Should you really go in? Simon's room was a bit off-limits since you agreed to watch over him. You had wanted to ensure he had one space to himself.
CRASH!
Something else hit the floor. You sigh and grip the door knob, turning it slowly and pushing the door open cautiously.
“Simon?” You murmured through the crack in the door.
You could see Simon thrashing around in the darkness of his room, unable to wake up from the nightmare that was consuming him. He was murmuring someone's name and pleading. Pleading! Simon!
“Fuck it.” You declared, resigning yourself to whatever fate awaited you.
“Simon.” You say, giving him a firm shake. “Simon!” You say louder.
You opened the door a bit further – enough to walk through – and strode over to his bed. You leaned down close to him, and once again hesitated. You looked around to see his lamp and phone on the floor and a spilled glass of water.
Turning your attention back to Simon, you placed a hand over his damp shoulder.
Simon doesn't wake up, stuck in the depths of his terror.
You muster up the courage to do something you never thought you'd do; yell at Simon Riley.
“SIMON, WAKE THE FUCK UP!” You howl at him.
His eyes snap open and he shoots up in bed; his chest heaving and covered in a sheen of sweat, it take him a moment to orient himself.
As his eyes fall on you, and shame creeps into his eyes. You were never supposed to see this. You shouldn't be in here and he shouldn't be this weak in front of you.
You reach out and place your hand on his bicep, giving it a squeeze.
“Are you okay, Simon?” You ask in a soft, concerned voice.
He turns away from you, his chest still heaving but doesn't answer. A bit of ego, but mostly humiliation.
He shrugs your hand off of him and all you do is smile.
“Okay, okay... be that way.” You tease him as you turn to his end table. You pick up the lamp and place it back on the tabletop, then place his phone beside it. “You're safe now.” You speak tenderly to him.
You stand and give him a stare for a moment before leaving his room.
Returning a couple minutes later with a small towel, you kneel down and clean up the spilled water as Simon just sits on his bed.
“You seem calmer now.” You remark as you wad up the towel and toss it to his laundry basket.
“'M fine.” He grumbles.
Liar.
“Alright.” You nod, though he's still not looking at you.
You stand up and sit on his bed, your back to him. You take a deep breath before swivelling yourself around and laying down on the bed beside him.
“...and what are you doing?” Simon rumbles as he feels the weight of your body moving on the mattress.
“What I was asked to do. Take care of you for a month.” You reply bluntly.
You make yourself comfortable beside him, choosing a particularly plump and soft pillow to rest your head on.
“Don't need your help.” Simon protests.
“Sounds like a you problem, Si.” You fire back, pulling your phone from your PJ pocket and unlocking it. “I'm staying, as per Prices request.” You didn't explain that you'd text Price when you left and he'd given you 'orders'.
Simon sits there through seven rounds of solitaire, two crosswords, and a good twenty minutes of scrolling through socials before he finally concedes and lays down beside you. He drapes his arms over his stomach as he stretches out and relaxes; as much as Simon Riley relaxes.
“Don't wanna talk about it.”
You don't look away from your phone.
“Don't have to.” You reply.
“You don't need to know what goes on in my fucked up head because of my fucked up life and job.” He continues.
You like a particularly cute video of a puppy.
“Fair enough. We're all entitled to our secrets.” You nod.
“Did I... say anything?” Simon prods, curious and anxious.
You lower your phone a bit and look over at him. You purse your lips and think about how to respond. So far, you've never lied to Simon, and you don't exactly want to start now.
“Well?” He asks after you hesitate a little too long.
“Yes.” You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“What did I say?” Simon inquires, a bit of horror framing his face.
“I thought you didn't want to talk about it?” The words come out a bit harsher than you intended, and you're already cursing yourself.
“What did I say?” He repeats with annoyance.
You let out a sigh and rest your phone on your chest.
“You were begging.” You reply. You roll your head to the side to look at him. “You were begging for forgiveness and to 'switch places' or something to that extent.” You confess to him, barely managing to choke out the words.
“Fuckin' hell...” Simon grumbles. He stares up at his ceiling. “I....”
“You have terrible taste in people.” He says in an almost teasing tone.
You don't let him finish, “You don't have to say any more, Simon. Not if you don't want to.” You explain. You reach over and tap his abdomen with the back of your hand. “I just want you to know that I don't think any less of you. Never could.”
That elicits a deep laugh from Simon as he shakes his head.
“So I'm told.” You reply, going back to your phone.
“You're really not going to leave, are you?” He asks suddenly.
“What do you mean? Here and now, or before the month is over? Or... ever?” You question him, resting the back of one hand on his body.
“All of the above, 'spose.” He shrugs.
“I'm not leaving. All of the above.” You reply earnestly.
You both fall into a comfortable silence as Simon considers what you've said.
After a half hour or more, Simon hears a thud. Turning to look at you, he notices you've dropped your phone on the floor and are fast asleep on his bed.
You roll over on your side and Simon lets out a low grunt, feigning annoyance – though he's not sure why – before he sighs and grabs the blanket and pulls it over you.
He rolls over so his back is to you and closes his eyes. Somehow your presence here relaxes him enough to let him get a couple hours of sleep.
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Day 30
Maybe domestic life was for you after all. It had been a full month since Price had made his request and here you were; In Simon's kitchen and cooking him one last breakfast before you packed up and returned to your own flat.
Simon had spent most of the early morning in his room just laying on his bed before eventually rolling out and jumping in the shower.
As you finished preparing the large, artery-clogging breakfast of sausages, eggs, hash browns, pancakes and bacon, Simon finally emerged in gym shorts and a tank top.
“Ready to kick my arse out?” You asked, suppressing the tinge of sadness that welled inside you. You really did like being here this last month, though it was difficult to tell if he felt the same way.
Simon huffed and made his way to the table where a tea – just the way he likes it – and took a seat, staring at the back of your head.
He took a sip and thought it over for a moment. “Y've been a goddamn nag.” He finally said, a smile on his face.
“All a part of the job!” You fired back, turning to give him a wide grin.
“Still no idea how Price talked you into it.” Simon mused, looking away.
You pate the mountain of food for the both of you and join Simon at the table. You lean back in your chair and pick up a piece of bacon, eyeing it before taking a bite.
“Didn't take much, to be honest.” You shrug.
Simon defaulted to his usual gruff grunt, “Guess if hasn't been entirely unpleasant to have you around.” He confessed. He couldn't help but fight his own happiness.
“Someone had to make sure you didn't burn the place down.” You tease. "And we nipped that in the bud on day four."
Simon digs into the breakfast you've made for him, silently chewing away and ignoring your joke.
You sipped at your coffee and ate your breakfast as well.
This was a moment that seemed to stretch on for a while, neither of you wanting to admit how the last month truly affected you.
“Y'know...” You say, breaking the silence. “We never did see that movie.” You remind him. Through everything that's happened since Simon was injured, neither of you actually ended up dragging the other to that stupid movie.
You give a shrug. There will be plenty of time for movies.
Simon simply looked up at you and continued to eat.
“It's good.” He said, holding up a forkful of food.
You could tell he was uncomfortable, but you couldn't figure out why. It couldn't have been about the movie.
Maybe it reminded him of being stabbed? Unlikely.
Or maybe he felt... disappointed? Like he let you down?
You could just ask, but that was too easy, and you were both too stubborn to talk about it outright.
“I'll be heading out just after noon, if that's fine with you? I just need to do some work before I leave.” You practically murmur.
“'S fine.” Simon nodded.
As you finished your breakfast and placed your plate in the sink, Simon surprised you with what he said.
“How about tonight?” He asked.
You turned to look at him with a confused look on your face.
He was still sitting at the table with his phone in hand.
“The movie. Its still playing... how about tonight?” He asked again.
You nodded. “Y-yeah. Tonight works for me. What time?”
“Eleven-hundred hours. You... can stay the night again. My flat is closer to the theatre than yours.”
You were too shocked to say anything, so you just nodded again.
Staying another night.
With Simon.
You were brimming with stupid amounts of joy.
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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2
The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 
I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 
She!!
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Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol
“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?
I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.
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“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.
Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.
I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?
“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.
This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?
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John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.
Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 
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The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!
Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.
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Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 
“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?
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Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 
John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 
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I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 
There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 
So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 
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I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 
His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 
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Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 
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This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?
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Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 
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lhssboyfi · 1 month
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ [END].
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Juyeon x M!reader.
Author's Note: uuuh I don't think I'm okaaaaaaaay, I don't think I'm okay. I honestly didn't know whether to upload it, I feel like it's garbage.
Previously: You're tired of being his last option (being hidden) and you decide to end "things" with him, maybe he'll fix it, maybe he won't.
Genre: Discussions, Against, Fluff (kinda), Drama.
Wrng: internalized homophobia.
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"I should have dressed as a clown to make a fool of myself in a better way." You thought.
It was around noon and you had been waiting for more than three hours for what is supposedly your boyfriend. You both had agreed that today you would see each other after a very hard week, exams and projects were driving you crazy. There is nothing better than a whole day resting with the person you love the most so far. At least, that's what you thought when you first arrived at the coffee shop. Where is he? It was your only question for a while now. He didn't even answer your calls. That would have been the last straw, the whole jug. It wasn't the first time he had put you through something like this, but after many conversations, he promised that he would change and you really tried to believe him.
You wanted to continue waiting for him, you wanted to continue hoping for the idea that he would arrive, but the time was approaching for you to be in your first class of the day and since you were also part of the committee, you decided to pay for your coffee and leave without further ado. You felt so embarrassed after paying the girl, you spent more than two hours boasting to her that this would be 'the day' and that after a long time, she would finally meet the boy you've been talking so much about for more than 4 months now, unfortunately things didn't happen—again.
"M/N!" You heard from afar that distinctive loud voice that could only tell you who it was, you were so angry that you decided to speed up your pace to avoid talking to him, however your ways of escaping would have been worthless after feeling his fingers gently sink into your shoulder. When you turned around you began to listen to his great sermon of reasons why he took 'longer than he thought', but as always, everything he said ended with 'sorry, bro' and its characteristic way of messing up your hair.
Ouch, to a certain point you understood that he was afraid to say that he is gay, I mean, he told you before they started dating and you were fine with that, I say you were because you always saw him surrounded by several of his 'girl-friends' and even you saw him hugged by the neck with one in particular. Does he have to do all that just out of fear? I think he also forgot that you also had feelings, maybe he forgot that you were dating and that constantly made you overthink. The only thing you wanted was to be able to hold his hand without him constantly looking around.
ㅡSomething happens?ㅡThe brunette exclaimed after seeing you all the way with your head down and muttering a couple of things that didn't make much sense.
"I was just thinking about the exams. . . and us." You didn't want to get into your feelings any further. It wasn't even the place, and surprisingly, not the person you would want to talk to about this. On the other hand, you only heard a heavy sigh and saw out of the corner of your eye how he only nodded sadly.
"Did I do something wrong? Tell me what I did wrong now, and I'll fix it" You felt a big hole in your chest, you wanted to scream at him right then and there about everything that should change so that you could stop feeling like a shitty boyfriend and he could lose that fear of being left alone just because he had someone of the same sex as his partner, but you only deigned to stare at him and caress his cheek.
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In the entire class you couldn't concentrate better because of the laughing session that Juyeon was having with one of his friends at the back of the room, you had finally decided that the best option—for you—would be to end what was still going on between the two of you. You didn't hesitate to send him a random message but you didn't get a response from the boy, you had no choice but to wait until class could finish and talk to him before he went to play basketball.
"Juyeon, I have to tell you something, and I think it will be quick." You told him when he was going down a couple of steps after the teacher was ready to put his things away and leave, when the individual left and there was no one else in the room—so you two started talking about how you felt being there, after several months together; what liked to do most, what didn't, etc. Everything was going so well until some basketball teammates rushed to the classroom door and asked for the tallest one.
Your heart stopped after hearing him say, "Just give me a minute, I'm talking to a friend." Is that what you were to him? It seems that yes, Eric was right. You should not continue being in a place where you were only the couple when he got the chip on. You didn't know that "friends" always spent their time kissing or watching a series while doing nothing but caressing each other or even ending up naked on a bed with only a sheet covering both bodies. It didn't take long for your eyes to be glassy with the amount of tears you didn't want to shed, at least not in front of him, in front of the same boy who broke your heart in the worst way you've ever experienced so far.
You tried to raise your gaze so you could see his eyes and give him a weak smile, you did nothing more than leave a couple of pats on his shoulder before leaving the room. You knew that things didn't go any further after he denied you, who knows how many times he must have done the same thing, that was the real reason why you no longer fought or thought with hate.
"W-wait, what does this mean?" The raven man asked after rushing out of the same place and thus taking you by the forearm.
ㅡWe're done, I don't like going out with friends.ㅡ You said as you let go of his grip and continued walking to the cafeteria, where your best friend was.
The boy, for his part, just stood there stunned in that cold hallway where you left him without even turning to look at him, he was stunned, he couldn't process anything that just happened, he knew he screwed up.
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
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gonzo-rella · 21 days
Text
Headcanons: Being Wallace Wells' Trans Boyfriend
MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI
Relationship(s): Wallace Wells x transmasc!reader (romantic)
Warnings/info: Trans typical stuff, like dysphoria, transphobia etc. etc., sexual remarks, he/him pronouns for reader, headcanons were written in one sitting, when I was feeling not great. (Let me know if I need to add any)
(A/N: I've been reading a lot of Succession fics over the last few days. Last night I read a Roman Roy fic and for some reason it gave me this overpowering wave of dysphoria that I still have yet to fully recover from. Annoyingly, I have yet to actually watch Succession so this could have been avoided; I just think Kieran Culkin's hot and very gender so I couldn't resist pretending that someone with his face was my boyfriend. Reading about Roman made me think 'oh shit. Maybe I'm a flawed and pathetic little guy on the inside. But I just look like a woman who likes to kiss women and everyone treats me like a girl and uses my girl name and girl pronouns and that feels super gross and makes me want to live in a hole. Now I'm going to feel bad about that for the next few days.' So, yeah, I'm having another transmasc crisis that I'm using fanfiction to get me through. I figured Kieran Culkin started this, so I might as well write something featuring a character of his that I can actually write for. This is a self-indulgent and self-explorative treat for myself, but I hope that transmasc readers can enjoy this, too. If you'd like more Wallace stuff, trans stuff or Wallace AND trans stuff, feel free to send in a request. I really want to provide more fics for transmasc readers because you guys are super underrepresented (and, y'know, Papa Gonzo-rella wants to explore his gender a little more). Also, I swear that I will get around to watching Succession, and I more than likely will end up writing for it when I do.)
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Respectfully, Wallace does not give a shit that you’re trans.
Of course, he doesn’t flat-out ignore it, because it’s part of who you are, but it isn’t an obstacle in your relationship by any means, and it doesn’t bother him in the slightest.
If you’re feeling dysphoric and/or otherwise insecure about yourself, he’ll pinch your cheeks and tell you how handsome and sexy you are.
If you’re feeling especially bad, like ‘not getting out of bed and hiding from the world’ bad, he’ll keep you company and say what he can to reassure you.
Being mushy and sincere truly isn’t his thing, so whatever he says will sound either slightly insensitive (but still pretty sensitive as far as Wallace goes), facetious or like he wants you to get over how you’re feeling so he can fuck you.
But, he genuinely doesn’t want you to feel bad and you can tell he cares, because otherwise he wouldn’t be there for you when you're feeling your worst.
Wallace is very affirming, but in his own Wallace way.
He lovingly refers to you as his lameass boyfriend.
If Scott ever compliments you about anything, Wallace will call him gay.
He will shout ‘gay’, like the Senor Chang meme.
"Hey, man, I like your shirt-"
"Ha, Scott's gay!"
"I-I'm not gay! I just like his shirt."
"What's wrong with being gay, Scott?"
"Nothing! There's nothing wrong with being gay!"
"You really need to work on your internalised homophobia, Scott. To think, my gay lover and I share a bed with a bigot."
If you’re doing anything that he knows will make you dysphoric or exacerbate your dysphoria (for example, scrolling through social media and looking at cis dudes that give you gender envy) he’ll shut it down.
Using the aforementioned example, he’ll snatch your phone off you and close the app, saying: “Nope. Make better decisions.”
And, while you’d initially be annoyed at him for grabbing your phone, you will appreciate it in the long run.
If you have testosterone shots but you’re not a fan of doing them yourself, he’ll begrudgingly help you with them.
He will make a very Wallace comment, though
“Stabbing? I didn’t know you were that kinky.”
If anyone’s a dick to you about being trans, Wallace is always ready to go with a snide remark about the other person, because of all the things you could possibly mock his lameass boyfriend for, being trans is at the bottom of that list.
(He should know, as the person who makes fun of you the most.)
Also, he cares about you very, very much and he doesn't want people being transphobic to his boyfriend.
If you’re cool with it, he will make trans jokes, but nothing ‘attack helicopter’ or ‘attack helicopter’ adjacent, because he’s too clever for that and he can come up with better material that isn’t just derivative, transphobic garbage.
If you get your period and it makes you at all dysphoric, be prepared for this exchange:
“Don’t worry. Scott pissed blood last month and cried about it and he’s still a man.”
“Did-did he go to the doctor?”
“I don’t know. He seems fine now, though.”
If you still have boobs and don’t mind them being touched or otherwise acknowledged, he will use them like a pillow.
If you decide to get top surgery, he will make the following request:
“Well, if you’re not using them, can I have them? I need a pillow that Scott won’t steal. And, he wouldn’t steal your tits, because he knows I’d call him gay for it.”
“Why are you like this, Wallace?”
“Selfish.”
Being trans doesn’t make your relationship much different from any of Wallace’s other relationships.
You’re just, for better or worse, another one of Wallace’s boyfriends.
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fuckinthewholetown · 24 days
Text
Fallingforyou - Matty Healy Chapter One
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I’m kind of shitting myself posting this but, it is what it is. If you think it’s shit, feel free to tell me, but please be nice or I will cry. I’ve also only skimmed over this so if there’s any typos, please tell me so I can fix this.
Tags: Slight angst, swearing, mentions of religion, gay, probably bad writing
Word Count: 2309
As much as you love touring, you’re the first person to admit it can get repetitive. Wake up in a random hotel room, get to the venue, sound check, perform, and repeat.
However, today is different. Today you’re performing a sold out show at Wembley Stadium to 90,000 people. This is the day you’ve dreamt about since you were five, giving one woman performances to your parents in your living room. And the cherry on top is you get to do it with four of your best mates.
Your day starts off as normal, doing your skincare routine in a hotel bathroom in the heart of London. You’re living the dream. That is until you hear a knock at your door. As you’re walking over to answer it, you pull your hair out of the makeshift pony tail it was in previously. Before you could fully open the door, it barges open and your guitarist and best friend Maddie O’Connell storms into the room.
“We need to talk.” She says, pacing back and forth.
“Ok, calm down. There’s absolutely no reason to be this stressed. Take a crystal.” You say, pulling some green agate out of your bra. You’re met with no response, just a deadpan stare. “Noted, not in a crystals mood. What’s up, this is the best day of our careers, it must be something big to get you this stressed.”
“You have to look me in the eye and promise that you’re not going to freak out” She says, sitting down on a seat in the corner of the room.
“I promise. Unless you’re shagging Matty Healy or Harry Styles, then I revoke that promise”
“Not exactly… It’s Ross” She says, refusing to look you in the eye. You stay silent, internally freaking out but refusing to break the promise you made to her. She takes this as you not understanding what she’s on about “Ross Macdonald… The bassist of the”
“Yes, I know who you’re on about!” You say, cutting her off before she can say anything else and send you into even more of a mental breakdown. You stand up, now it’s your turn to pace the room. “You’re fucking the bassist of my favourite band and you just conveniently don’t tell me until 5 hours before the biggest show of our careers? I love you to death, but you need to get better timing babes”
“I know,” she says, still refusing to make eye contact with you, “and we’re not fucking. Well, we are but it’s more than that. I like him, and I think he likes me.”
“How long?”
“Six months…”
“Six months!” This information is enough to stop you in your tracks, “you’ve been shagging the human equivalent of Jesus for 6 months and you forgot to mention it!”
“I’m sorry! I knew you’d freak out because you’re a big fan and I wanted to make sure it was serious before I got your hopes up. However, I’ve kinda been forced into telling you.”
You sit back down, confused over her last statement. “What do you mean forced into telling me? If one of the girls is secretly a bitch and forcing you into this, we can become a group of four. I’m a big boy, I can sing and play an instrument at the same time.” That half joke is enough to make her finally make eye contact with you.
“It’s nothing like that, the girls don’t know yet you’re the first person I told. I’ve been forced into telling you because they’re coming tonight, all four of them are watching the show.” And that statement is the straw that broke the camels back, you’re officially freaking out.
“What? They’re watching us tonight? All four of them are watching us? Oh god, I have to look Matty Healy in the eyes knowing I’ve read the dirtiest tumblr fanfiction about him. I read one of him as a priest, oh god I’m going to hell!” You say, putting your head into your hands. Maddie on the other hand does not see the seriousness of this situation and bursts out laughing.
“Him as a priest? Didn’t strike you as the religious type.” A chuckle escapes your lips as you finally return the eye contact.
“I went to an all girls catholic school actually, I love Jesus.”
“You came out of that school with minor alcoholism and even more gay than you were when you went in, I think Jesus would be disappointed.” She quips back. You laugh, standing back up from your slight mental breakdown.
“I’m happy for you, I really am. When are they getting here?”
“Just before sound check.”
“Before sound check?” You respond, falling back into your mental breakdown. “That’s in less than an hour. I’m meeting my celebrity crush and your new fuck buddy in less than an hour? Get the fuck out, I need to do a full face in 20 minutes!”
You all but push her out the hotel room, scrambling to get ready for the biggest moment of your life.
After somehow managing to do your hair, makeup, and put on a hot ass outfit in under an hour, you walked into the green room at Wembley Stadium. What met your eyes was what could best be described as a sight out of 16 year olds you’s wet dream. All four members of The 1975 sat around the table, gossiping about who knows what. As you walk in, the room goes silent. Luckily, your bandmates are there to quell the awkwardness. The pianist of your band, Sienna Turner is the first to speak.
“Boys,” She says, standing up and dragging you by the forearm into the circle, “this is Y/N!” You were expecting to be met with blank stares, but instead the boys jump up to greet you, tackling you into bear hugs. It’s a warm welcome off everyone. Well, mostly everyone. The man you’ve loved since you were a teenager stays sat in the corner of the room, closed off and refusing to even acknowledge your existence. You figure it’s probably just him being an introvert, so you go over to introduce yourself personally.
“Hey.” You say, hoping for any kind of response. You don’t get one. No acknowledgement, no hey back, not even a snarky comment, he just ignores you. This is not how you imagined this day would go.
“Damn,” you follow up, “I knew you’re an Aries, but I didn’t think you’d act so much like one.” You let out a slight chuckle. He, on the other hand, does not find this so funny.
“Good God.” He responds, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of his drink.
He hates you. The man you’ve been enamored by for almost 10 years despises you. The only possible explanation is he’s seen your private TikTok reposts of endless thirst traps of himself. Nevertheless, you had a show to do. And if there’s on thing you can do despite external feelings, it’s fucking shit up on stage. You nail sound check, sounding better than you ever have. Probably a mix of adrenaline and frustration over the fact that your childhood crush seemingly hates you for absolutely no reason.
You exit stage after sound check, immediately going back to the green room to get ready for the actual show. As you’re getting your makeup and hair done, conversation flows. You and your friends are talking to the boys as if you’ve been friends for years and you didn’t just meet them an hour ago.
“So, Y/N. You’re into like crystals and shit aren’t you? What’s that like, I don’t really get it.” George says, turning all eyes on you.
“It’s not for everyone, but I find comfort in manifestation and things like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think incense will cure cancer but keeping rose quartz in my bra definitely isn’t going to hinder my love life.” You laugh, trying to keep your response brief.
“Bullshit.” Comes from the corner of the room. The first words you’ve heard from Matty since your brief conversation earlier in the day. The room falls silent and you feel a red hue cover your face. The longer the silence, the thicker the tension in the air. You clear your throat, trying to restrain yourself from going over to him and giving him a black eye.
“Like I said, it isn’t for everyone. I was cleansing my room once and my mum thought I was smoking weed. When I told her what I was doing, I think she’d have preferred if I was doing drugs.” Everyone starts laughing and the room erupts into conversation again as if nothing happened. Every so often, you catch a glimpse of Matty in the corner of your eye. He never seems to move, his phone in one hand and a beer in the other. As you zone out of the conversation, your mind moves to deciphering why on Earth he could hate you so much. Nothing comes to mind, you’ve never met him before and you’ve definitely said nothing bad about him publically. Quite the opposite in fact, as last year a drunk video of you singing Robbers went viral on TikTok.
You zoned out for so long, before you knew it it was time to go on stage and perform the biggest show of your life.
“Ok girlies!” Ava Fletcher, the drummer in your band and also the member you’ve known the longest, speaks up. “This is it. No pressure but there’s 90 thousand people out there who’ve come specifically to watch us, so if we put on a shit performance our careers are probably over. But absolutely no pressure, just have a good show.” You laugh, leaning into the group hug you do before every show however this one felt different. The sense of adrenaline and fear within the group was unlike anything before. There was a lot riding on this show, and if you fucked it up a lot of people would be disappointed. However, all of these feelings are washed away when you’re wrapped into a hug by George.
“Blow their fucking minds out their.” He whispers into your ear. All feelings of nervousness are washed away when you realise you’re being hugged by the drummer of your favourite band. You go around, being given motivational speeches by every member of the band. Well, almost every member other than, you guessed it, Matty. He encouraged every member of your band except you, walking off before you could get to him.
The beginning of every show is always the worst. Hearing the roaring crowds increases your heart rate tenfold, but the stakes are even higher for this show. With one last group hug, you put your in ears in and run on stage, ready to start the show. As the show goes on, you occasionally glance side of stage to where the boys are standing. Everytime you make eye contact with them, they give you an encouraging smile or thumbs up. Matty on the other hand continues to evade eye contact, choosing to watch a different member of the band. However that didn’t stop you from putting on one hell of a show, and that’s what you did. You blew the metaphorical roof of that stadium, it was arguably the best show you ever did. The adrenaline high you had once you ran off stage couldn’t be ruined, even by a moody former celebrity crush.
The moment you exit stage, you’re immediately crushed by a massive group hug involving your band and the boys. Despite all of this, the only thing you can focus on is the hand around your waist. It’s Matty. You don’t think he meant it, instinctively putting it there when he was dragged into the hug. Nonetheless the area he was holding felt like it was burning under his touch, his calloused hands leaving marks on the skin underneath them. The group hug is cut short when he pulls away, clearing his throat slightly and going back to cradling his drink.
You do the rounds, talking to everyone backstage and discussing the nuances of the show and how amazing the audience were. This repetitive conversation continues until you get back around to him. You expect to be met with no eye contact, maybe an eye roll if you were lucky, but what happens next surprises you.
“You did alright out there, Princess.” The confusion on your face is palpable, at both the nickname and his sudden talkative nature. “Princess, like Princess Kida from The Lost City of Atlantis. It’s funny because,” you cut him off.
“Our band name is Lost Atlantis, yeah I get it. It’s funny.” You respond, a dead pan expression on your face. The tension was obvious, you could cut it with a knife. That is until Moon Dixon, your bassist, comes up behind you and wraps you in a hug.
“We’re all going back to Maddie's place to have a few drinks, you joining us?” She says, mostly to you but including Matty in the conversation as well.
“Yeah, let me get into something less sweaty and gross first though.” You laugh, trying to hide your disappointment as he walks off to join the rest of his band.
Get over yourself, you thought to yourself as you walked back up to your dressing room. Just because Mattys a dick doesn’t take away from the fact that this is the best day of your life. You just performed your biggest show ever, and three out of the four members are lovely. But despite this, you can’t get the curly haired man out of your mind. You see him every time you blink. How have you gone from badass pop girlie to pathetic simp in the space of three hours?
Chapter Two
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littlemisssatanist · 2 months
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on the topic of me being team green
a bit of a different post for me, considering what my blog is, but i was honestly so offended at being called a misogynist i made a fresh google docs page and typed out 1634 words of me ranting.
is there a real reason to post this? probably not, but i felt the need to establish myself as team green, considering all the posts i've been liking and commenting on lately. (if you are team green, and you see this, feel free to be my friend. in fact, i am begging you to be my friend. i have no tg friends and i need to see the light).
beware, typos and repitition are probably aplenty.
Whenever I see people talk about being TG, I always will see TB stans in the comments saying something along the lines of “Oh, you must be a misogynist, then.” And you know, it never happened to me until a few days ago when I commented on a TikTok post about Rhaenyra beefing with two-year-old Aegon. Someone replied to me, saying that I only brought it up because I’m a misogynist.
And. You know, I’ve been insulted before. I’ve been called ugly, stupid, immature, whatever whatever. But I honestly can’t think of a worse thing for someone to say to me, that I’m a misogynist. I know this isn’t that commentator’s fault, because they obviously don't know me. But the irony of calling me a misogynist when I am the most misandristic person to exist on this earth. I pray for the downfall of men daily. I make fun of them. Whenever I see an AITA post on TikTok, I am immediately on the woman’s side, regardless of what she may have done. 
It’s because I distrust men to a certain degree. You know what’s different for ASoIaF, though? It’s not real. It’s all fiction. TB stans will come on the internet daily and complain about TG existing, calling us misogynists, elevating the conflict between us to that of a literal genocide. Are y'all delusional? Are you guys stuck so far up Rhaenyra’s ass that you can’t tell reality from fiction? 
Y’all love to preach about how Rhaenyra is the number one feminist girlboss of Westeros, without realizing exactly how exactly you’re falling into the trap. You uphold a woman because she’s the heir, meanwhile she steals Rhaena’s and Baela’s inheritance in order to put her illegitimate sons on the throne (which, btw, is treason). But of course you guys wouldn’t care, because you like to think Rhaenyra is the exception to the rule.
That’s the thing. She’s only the exception because of her father, the king. After Viserys dies, she suddenly finds herself back in the same patriarchal world that y’all love to claim she’s trying to overthrow, that she’s trying to change. 
I don’t hate Rhaenyra because she’s a woman. I hate her because she’s a stupid woman. She knew exactly what it meant to be a woman in Westeros; she gets forced into an unwanted marriage (and even in that she gets far more freedom and will to choose than other women), she is undermined for being a woman, and others view her as unfit to rule. I would sympathize with her if she did absolutely anything to change that whatsoever. 
Y’all love to say that she’s so iconic with her dragon scenes, but what did that really accomplish aside from showcasing she is unfit to rule? She has three illegitimate sons who look absolutely nothing like her. Even if Viserys was on her side, everyone knows that they are bastards. Like, at least Cersei’s bastards looked like her. Rhaenyra was a white woman with white hair married to a black man with white hair, and her first three children are white boys with brown hair. Girl, if you were going to have bastards, at least do it with someone that bears at least some resemblance to your husband, or yourself. She purposefully made it harder for herself.
And for those of you guys who will bring up something about Laenor being gay. I genuinely don’t know how to tell you this, but if they truly cared about keeping up appearances, they would have had children. I say this as a queer person myself: If I were in Laenor’s shoes, I would have children with my coverup. Afterall, that’s what a coverup is for. And also: I could find nothing about Laenor being infertile. 
And for those who will also bring up Laenor accepting the Strong boys as his own, I literally couldn't care less. Everyone and their grandmother could see that those boys were bastards. Laenor accepting them and Viserys being delusional doesn’t change the fact that they were illegitimate, and everybody knew it. Secondly: Rhaenyra would need to admit the boys were bastards in the first place for anybody to claim them, something she did not do. In fact, she went so far the opposite way, I wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to delude herself that they were legitimate. 
And this I don’t understand. How do you shoot yourself in the foot, not once, not twice, but three times, with three obvious bastards, knowing that people would oppose you, people already oppose you, and still think yourself fit to rule? Every decision Rhaenyra makes is so stupid, it’s almost mind blowing to me. To live in Dragonstone for years while your father, the king, is sick (in which case, btw, the heir is supposed to step in to rule). Instead, we see Alicent ruling the kingdoms from behind the shadow, because Rhaenyra does nothing but live out a couple of years of bliss and comes back to King's Landing expecting everything to be handed to her. She does absolutely no politicking, absolutely nothing in order to sway the lords to her side. Should she be so surprised, then, that she is met with such resistance? 
Y’all TB stands love to call TG misogynistic because we don’t worship your perfect little dragon lady, as if her uncle-husband isn’t Lord of Fleabottom and grooms and rapes her from a young age. As if Daemon hasn’t called women whores and bitches, and his first wife, Rhea Royce, ‘Bronze Bitch.’ Like, is that not disgusting to you? Y’all love to preach about how Daemon loved Rhaenyra, as if he didn’t choke her the moment she disagreed with his methods. As if his first instinct everytime is anger and death and war.
(In case y’all couldn’t tell, I am extremely anti-war. I am under the impression that if you can’t solve things by talking it out, then you are definitely not mature enough to be ruling a kingdom, and Daemon is one of the most immature rapist misogynists I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing).
(As an aside, I am not blaming Rhaenyra for her relationship with Daemon. Yes, I do find that most of her actions are stupid, but I cannot deny the fact that she was groomed and raped by him-- yes, raped, because she was a child, and children cannot consent. That is in no way her fault, and Daemon is the one responsible for this).
Y’all praise Rhaenyra for her maternal instincts while simultaneously hating Alicent for hers. Of course, an eye for an eye is unreasonable and far too much, but a son for a son is totally reasonable and to be expected. Rhaenyra protecting her children is being a good mother, but Alicent (rightfully) assuming that her children would be persecuted if Rhaenyra ascended the throne is her being a jealous bitch. Y’all blow her “sweet sister” line so much out of proportion, saying that she wouldn’t have killed her siblings if they just came over to her side. As if Alicent’s children, Alicent’s family, would choose Rhaenyra over her. Because “Helaena was the only good green” and “if only she just joined Rhaenyra”. Why would she ever do that? Because Aegon was a bad husband? The show literally stated that he only ever laid with her when he was drunk, because he couldn't do it otherwise. Obviously neither of them sought any pleasure from it, but they are still family. Helaena only had Aemond, Aegon, Daeron, and Alicent. Why would Rhaenyra ever be worth what her family is worth to her?
On a similar note, TB stans will constantly say how “oh, I feel sorry for younger Alicent, but not older Alicent.” As if Alicent wasn’t a 14 year old girl groomed and abused, as if she wasn’t twice pregnant by 17. As if Alicent wasn’t a victim doing her best in a world specifically designed against her.
That’s the difference between her and Rhaenyra. Both were victims to a much older man, but Rhaenyra considered herself an exception. Alicent had no choice but to be the bad guy, and despite how much y’all love to ignore it, Rhaenyra should have done the same. “Oh but Alicent was jealous of Rhaenyra!” Like you wouldn’t also be jealous of Rhaenyra? Rhaenyra, the perfect little princess, loved by her rapist daddy the king, who had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Would you not also be infuriated by her attitude, the entitled way she views the world? I’m sorry, but if your “strong female character” needs every other female character to agree with her, then she’s not that strong. Or a girlboss.
In conclusion, Rhaenyra sucks and is a terrible role model. True feminists love Alicent Hightower. Also, negative comments will be deleted, bc yk what is so fun about the internet? You can block people. I know, crazy concept. If you don’t want to see me or other TG on your for you page, consider blocking them. That tends to get rid of the thing you don’t want to see. I will also be doing this to anyone who thinks they’re smart enough to argue this topic with me. I do not care, hope your day goes terribly. <3
Btw, please never call me a misogynist again. In fact, you can call me Little Miss Misandrist, because there is no universe out there where I side with a man over Alicent Hightower. Or any woman at all, for that matter. 
(Except for maybe if the pickings were between Rhaenyra and Criston. If you’re one of the media illiterate TB stands who consider Criston to be an incel, you should also go ahead and block me, your stupidness is draining my brain cells).
Stay mad, xoxo.
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ftmtftm · 4 months
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different anon, but I remember being like the transmed and thinking being trans was the worst thing that could never happen to me when I first realized what I was. I made myself miserable trying to convince myself that I wasn’t, that I didn’t want to be, and if I just avoided thinking about it or doing anything about it then I could just keep pretending I was cis forever and no one would be the wiser
however, it was the idea of having to be either binary gender that made me feel dysphoric to the point of spiraling. neither of them made sense to me, I felt like I was entirely without a place in the world, completely illegible.
it was realizing that everyone experiences their gender and presentation differently that finally helped me remember how to breathe.
I really hope transmed anon, once they grow into themselves a bit more and feel a more secure, realizes that trying to insist other people are “being trans wrong” will never make them not miserable, or give them the validation they evidently don’t have within themselves and are seeking externally. other people having different reasons for going on HRT or not starting HRT have nothing to do with them or their own process.
I never understand how those kind of people don’t realize that trying to say “You Must Do X to be Trans” just means they aren’t taking people at their word when it comes to their identity and who they say they are.
as in, the thing that causes us so much pain when cis people do it.
but yknow. it’s sometimes easier to hit the people closest to you when you’re afraid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I think you hit the nail on the head with the last sentence of your first ask.
It's sometimes easier to hit the people closest to you when you're afraid.
Because you're absolutely right. Especially when you view those people as lesser than you in response to their proximity to you. It's a way to make yourself feel big. It's a phenomenon that happens with most bigoted / hateful pipelines. You see it in the working class with the poor, you see it in gay spaces with bi people, you see it in conversations about race and blood quantum / mixed racial identity, you see it with people like marginalized Republicans, etc. etc. etc.
It's easy to try and protect yourself by trying to be one of the good ones in whatever way grants you safety and security. But that's not true safety and security, it's just temporary.
Also 100% - suffering isn't moral. We're not Protestants here and also - I'm sure anon has had some shitty experiences with other trans people. I think most of us have because trans people are not a monolithic force and some of us are absolutely going to hurt each other. That doesn't mean the entire community is at fault for those experiences though.
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yallcantread · 11 months
Text
Before delving into the current drama circulating, I'd like to emphasize that this controversy seems rather pointless, and people are getting upset over nothing. It's important for me to clarify that I have no personal connection with Taylor Swift or Matty Healy. I appreciate both of their artistic work. I am not being compensated by anyone to express my thoughts on this matter.
Who am I? I'm a small artist who creates music. While I have some connections with labels, I'm still in the process of establishing myself. I'm sharing this perspective using a separate account to avoid making it about me. I won't be promoting my music or seeking followers in this context.
The reason I'm addressing this issue is that no one else seems willing to provide context in these situations, not even the so-called "news" applications. TikTok and Twitter have become breeding grounds for misinformation, as people seek attention and likes. It's disheartening to witness how easily words like "Nazi" or "racist" are thrown around simply because someone doesn't approve of the person an artist is dating.
As an artist myself, it's concerning to see how quickly people believe things based on out-of-context 60-second videos or viral and impulsive tweets sourced from TikTok and Twitter. I understand that neither Matty Healy nor Taylor Swift should have to address this situation, and it's unlikely that they will.
This thread aims to offer context and explanations for some of Matty Healy's controversial and "problematic" comments. It includes discussions about the infamous "ghetto gaggers" comment and the recent ice spice comment. Unfortunately, the community on the 1975 subreddit seems unhelpful as they discourage discussions about current events, even when seeking clarity or defending the group. A very useless subreddit with useless mods. Every topic will have sources.
1. “Matty Healy is Islamophobic.”
Let's address the misconception that Matty Healy is Islamophobic. His views on religion are not targeted solely at Islam; he holds an anti-organized religion stance. It is essential to understand that his concerns lie with the principles of organized religions as a whole, including Islam. People often label him as Islamophobic because he retweeted tweets from Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a well-known Somali activist who has left Islam and openly shares her reasons for doing so. Ayaan Hirsi Ali speaks out against various issues that women and young girls face, drawing from her own experiences as a former Muslim woman.
A particular incident that left an impression on me was when Ayaan Hirsi Ali made a short film discussing her departure from Islam and the oppression faced by women. As a result, both she and the director of the film received death threats. Tragically, her friend, the director, was later murdered by an Islamic terrorist. By retweeting the account of this credible and respected woman, Matty Healy was not displaying Islamophobia.
He had tweeted:
“I saw a film about Islam the other night, with people saying things like ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m white’ or ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m an American’ or ‘I’m a Muslim and I'm a patriot.’ You didn't see any ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m gay.’ Or ‘I used to be a Muslim and I'm fine”
And
“Isis are cutting little girls heads off and you want to challenge a non-religious, humanist perspective? I don’t understand the world at all.”
Criticism ensued following these retweets, especially during a time when openly expressing any criticism of Islam was considered unacceptable. Matty Healy received criticism on Twitter for the retweets.
One individual, who was both a Harry Styles fan and a Muslim, expressed disagreement and sought to educate him on Islam. Matty Healy's response, "I resent being 'educated' on religion by a Harry Styles fan account. Not having a go at him obvs, but it's hard to take seriously," should be understood in the context of a young fan displaying bias in favor of her own religion due to her age and limited perspective.
While Matty Healy acknowledged the criticism, it's worth noting that engaging in debates with young individuals on Twitter, particularly those in the age range of 12-22, is not his preference. He rightfully points out that trying to argue with someone who lacks the necessary understanding or context can be unproductive.
In this case, it wasn't about dismissing the person's views solely because they were a fan of Harry Styles, but rather because of the combination of their young age and their inclination to defend their own religious beliefs without considering broader perspectives. It's worth noting that engaging in meaningful discussions on complex topics like religion requires an open mind and a willingness to consider multiple viewpoints.
It's important to acknowledge that many religions have historically exhibited forms of sexism and misogyny.
2. “Kissing fans/underage fans”
Don’t know where this particular rumor started but here we go.
So, in 2022 during a concert a fan who was of age (22!!) had a sign that was like “it’s my birthday be my first kiss” and kept waving the sign. Matty noticed it and kept asking her over and over again that she was of age, had a stage crew member check her ID, asked her if it was okay, and then it happened.
In another incident, he kissed a 24-year-old fan, and various individuals attempted to speak on her behalf, claiming that she felt uncomfortable. She came out and said differently.
Regarding the notion that "kissing a fan is an imbalance of power," it can be argued that this statement is overly simplistic. While it is true that celebrities kissing their fans is not an everyday occurrence, it does happen on occasion. One example is Halsey, who has been involved in such incidents (although there was controversy surrounding one instance where there were allegations of the fan possibly being underage, the veracity of which I cannot confirm). It is important to consider each situation individually rather than making sweeping generalizations about power dynamics in all such cases.
Some individuals criticized him for checking IDs before kissing fans, with one viral tweet implying that his thoroughness in verifying the ages of the fans he invites on stage to kiss suggests he has engaged in sexual activities with underage girls. However, such insinuations are unfounded and unwarranted. It is not unreasonable for him to check IDs as a precautionary measure and ensure that he is engaging with consenting adults. In fact, verifying the age of participants is a responsible and necessary action given the potential legal and ethical implications. Therefore, labeling his actions as weird or inappropriate for checking IDs is unjustified.
3. “Matty Healy is a Nazi”
No, he isn't. This particular criticism appears to be the most unfounded of them all, as if words have lost their meaning. Before addressing it, however, I want to express my dislike for certain fans who deny that he imitated a Nazi salute. It's evident that he did an imitation as a satirical reference to self-identified Nazi, Kanye West. The context is important: during a performance of the socially conscious anthem 'Love It If We Made It,' he made the salute while singing the lyric 'Thank you Kanye, very cool!' which references Trump's infamous tweet thanking Kanye for his endorsement. Matty has discussed this further in his statements.
I’m a history buff. So I know a lot about most history, but mostly fascist history. But let’s talk more about “what/who is a Nazi/what do modern day nazis believe in?”
Nothing that Matty Healy believes in. The modern day Nazi is mostly known as a “Neo-Nazi.” Neo-Nazi literally means “new-Nazi” or “revived Nazi” and it refers to people who have adopted ideologies similar to those first identified with the Nazi Party, which ruled Germany under Hitler between 1933 and 1945. “Nazi” is a contraction of the German words meaning “National Socialism”. Nazis used to be more so known for their opposition to communism and for their mastery in propaganda.
Another controversial way this song was involved in yet another controversy was when it was first mentioned that an innocent black man named George Floyd had died at the hands of a police officer (a Nazi) named Derek Chauvin.
In response to this incident, many celebrities and individuals with platforms spoke out about the situation. In a now-deleted tweet, the singer wrote, 'If you truly believe that 'ALL LIVES MATTER,' you need to stop facilitating the end of black ones.' Healy included a link to the band's song 'Love It if We Made It,' which addresses racism and police brutality through its lyrics.
Many people falsely expressed outrage and insinuated that he did it for 'views' or to 'promote his music.' Firstly, such a claim is preposterous, considering the song was released in 2018, and in 2019 alone, nearly 1,000 people were killed by the police. It is important to note that artists do not primarily generate income from streaming, but rather from touring and selling merchandise. Though I haven't had the chance to tour myself, based on the discussions I've had, it is a significant source of income for artists, covering their expenses. That's precisely why merchandise is sold at concerts. To put it into perspective, artists typically keep 85% of their touring revenue from each venue. If they sell items like shirts, hoodies, vinyls, hats, and more, at an average price of $25, selling 200-500 items would generate $5,000-$12,500 from merchandise sales alone.
If he had intended to profit from the situation, he would have done so through merchandise, using George Floyd's face or name to make money in connection with his lyrics. Sharing a link to his song when an issue arises does not make it about him; it is his way of expressing his thoughts on the crisis. I tend to ramble a bit, but with my music, I attempt to address questions in a more structured manner. I assume that when Matty shared the link, his intention was to convey 'this is how I feel about it,' as people were urging him to speak up.
He subsequently apologized and clarified his intent, stating, 'Sorry I did not link my song in that tweet to make it about me. It's just that the song is literally about this disgusting situation and expresses it more eloquently than I can on Twitter.”
4. Matty Healy watches torture p*rn of black women/C*MTOWN, The Adam Friedland show/ghetto gaggers.
Firstly, if you're not familiar with the podcast Cum Town, it can be summarized as exactly what you'd expect. The episodes of Cum Town usually ran for approximately 60 minutes and were predominantly improvised. The show primarily revolves around a collection of explicit sexual humor and political commentary. Additionally, The Adam Friedland show can be regarded as a spin-off of Cum Town.
According to Wikipedia and feedback from listeners of the podcast, a prevalent theme of the show is centered around crude puns, rhymes, and sexually explicit scenarios, often involving well-known figures like Louis C.K., humorously referred to as "Louis SeemsGay." The show also occasionally incorporates ethnic and racial stereotypes into its comedic repertoire.
The humor of the show is primarily based on dark comedy, often featuring jokes that mock racial stereotypes and those who perpetuate or believe in them. It shares a similar style to that of South Park and many stand-up comedians. However, it's important to note that if this type of humor doesn't resonate with you, it simply may not be your cup of tea. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and personal preferences. Cum Town/The Adam Friedland show are leftist shows. They use vulgarity as a way to make their point, they’re considered “Dirtbag Left.” Click orgins of this Wikipedia page and you’ll see it listed as an example.
On February 9, 2023, Matty Healy appeared as a guest on the Adam Friedland show. Interestingly, this episode gained attention as people were searching for things to criticize Matty Healy for, starting with the Nazi salute controversy. Subsequently, they discovered a podcast episode featuring Matty Healy on TAFS, which they then seized upon.
During a random part of the show, Adam Friedland brought up a story claiming that Matty Healy was caught watching explicit content called Ghetto Gaggers by a person named Olive, who had gone back to retrieve her water bottle. Adam chuckled as he shared the story, mentioning that immediately after hanging out, explicit content played on the tv via airplay mode. Matty responded by questioning the behavior of airplaying pornography and even jokingly calling it psychopathic. The following conversation is a transcript of what was said by who and when. The conversation is color coded. Adam will be red, Matty will be purple and Nick will be green. As I don’t want to keep going “and ____ responds” over and over again.
Adam goes on laughing saying
“30 seconds after the hang just hardcore pornography. I heard that story and the only thing that bothered me was the air playing”
And Matty responds
“what you text me immediately being like I need the info on this story. Like how psychopathic do you have to be to like airplay porn on the TV?”
then Adam goes on and says
“I remember when porn on the phone became a thing and everybody’s like oh this is weird and it’s like no this is what I always wanted to be, i want to be hun hunched over have the phone jammed in my face you know jacking off on my own face”
“Edging for two days”
“Yeah crumpled up”
Nick says “well you’ve been doing porn on the Apple Watch”
Matty sarcastically says “oh no way for real? :O”
“that would be so sick”
“Like images. This is how James Bond jacks off”
“yeah just a yoga class filled with fat black women and one guy just on his phone, one guy jacking off and people were like “are you jacking off to us? and they’re pleasantly surprised yeah and he’s like no there’s women of size on my watch, my Apple Watch and then they say yeah you’re fired from Apple, you’re fired from coming up with that idea”
Well i was there it wasn’t just 30 seconds it was the combination of the fact that was you’re not exaggerating it’s just 30 seconds like you guys were still waiting outside she came back in i was already flustered like i was dressed as guy who was jacking off so i had untucked shirt and i think it literally was ghetto gaggers was on the tv it’s just somebody getting like brutalized and it wasn’t like some cool sceney New York art girl it wasn’t like “oh I’m sorry it doesn’t matter “ (matty says this imitating a rough, dirty person with like rasp) but it was little Olive, who comes in” (matty starts doing a preppy British imitation of Olive) and says “I’m so sorry-“
Adam chimes in with “yeah she’s like britishly apologizing”
And matty goes non chantly “and I’m like yeah it’s fine, it’s fine it’s okay. Well 10 minutes would’ve been fine but 30 seconds was like it was kinda almost like i was worried that was offensive”
“I think when you’re a guy living alone the order of operations is you before you go to sleep you just have to Jack off”
“you said to me, you said to me”
And Adam cuts him off like “sorry I’ve got a story to tell” and he talks about a guy he used to live with(?) who brought home a girl, had dinner, he struck out she got drunk and slept on the couch he went inside his room and started blasting pornography loud hoping she’d hear it and I’m trying to sleep” and the whole group laughs at it.
Then Adam goes to speak about a product for an ad or whatever . And that’s literally it .
(38:40) is the beginning of the conversation.
It seems like the conversation between Matty Healy and Adam Friedland involved sarcasm, but certain individuals deliberately shortened the podcast clip to create a misleading impression. Consequently, people who came across that shortened clip may have started watching it without understanding the context and thus formed misconceptions.
In my personal opinion, it is evident that the story shared during the podcast episode was not genuine. Upon watching the full clip, it becomes clear that the story lacks coherence and does not align with the overall context. It seems to have been created on a whim, similar to other improvised scenes they engage in during the show. Taking the full clip into account and examining the story in its entirety, it becomes apparent that the narrative was not meant to be taken seriously or as an accurate account of events.
When Matty retells the story, he claims that Adam and Nick were waiting outside his trailer while he engaged in the act for precisely 30 seconds. It seems illogical for Adam to text Matty for details if they were already waiting outside the trailer. Additionally, if Matty was indeed watching explicit content and masturbating, it is reasonable to assume that the trailer door would be locked, making it unlikely for others to witness the act.
Overall, it is important to approach this story with skepticism. Believing that Matty watched Ghetto Gaggers solely based on this account seems unfounded and lacks credibility.
I want to clarify that I don’t believe Adam Friedland watches Ghetto Gaggers, either. My understanding of Ghetto Gaggers is similar to his, I believe. Before I explain how I even know of such content, I want to emphasize that I am not a fan of pornography in any form.
On Twitter, there is a prevalent joke or gimmick among popular male accounts, often known for copying and pasting tweets or becoming the target of jokes from their own followers. When these accounts gain viral tweets, it is common for someone to reply with an inappropriate video or picture, seeking a reaction from others. These videos are often extreme and fall into the realm of unethical pornography, deliberately posted to provoke a response.
In response to such replies, the OP hides the video from being directly seen in the replies. Another person, either the OP or a follower, then quote tweets the popular tweet with a message like “DON’T CHECK HIDDEN/DON’T CLICK HIDDEN/DON’T LOOK AT HIDDEN,” intending to entice others to view the hidden content. This is a specific aspect of Twitter culture that might not be familiar if you are not active on the platform.
can provide examples of tweets that employ this gimmick and hide content using GG (Ghetto Gaggers) if needed. A lot of the “DONT CHECK HIDDEN” with ghetto gaggers clips have been deleted or the accounts have been removed so struggling to find any account where the hidden video is that but that’s alright. Just type in “DONT CHECK HIDDEN” on twitter search bar. Also, NSFW for a lot of these examples.
1. Nsfw (look at the replies)
2. hidden reply (the account that posted the hidden comment is notorious for posting such content. I did a quick scroll and already saw black fetish content)
3. Yeah I’m not showing anymore for your sake and mine.
5. “Matty Healy trashes Ice Spice, says racially charged comments at her, said racist things about her made fun of her”
Other part to bring up was the Ice Spice thing? Ice Spice, the rapper isn’t Hawaiian or Asian in any sense, the hosts and Matty know this. Matty didn’t say anything racist about her, the hosts made the joke. I don’t believe people know that Matty Healy is British because the ones in the podcast that even make such remarks are clearly American. The following is a transcript of the conversation:
Matty: “Ice spice, you know who that is?”
Adam: “Nick does know who she is. She’s like one of the spice girls”
Matty: “She’s a rapper from the Spice Girls.”
Adam: “Inuit Spice Girl. Just this chubby Chinese lady.”
Adam: *Mimicking Asian accents* “I rap music.” Do they talk like that?
Matty:” They don’t talk with a Chinese accent.”
Nick: It’s more Hawaiian style.
Adam: *Pops mouth*
Matty: “Yeah, more Hawaiian. Welcome to Hawaii.”
Adam: “Locals only.”
Matty: “Yeah, that’s what Ice Spice is like.”
Nick: “She’s a very attractive woman who released one song, and basically everyone…”
Adam: “So, you slide into her DMs and go, ‘So what are you, a f**king Eskimo?’”
Matty: Yeah, yeah, that’s what I was like, you f**king dumb- yeah.”
That was the extent of the interaction, which was clearly intended as satire. Matty did not make any racist remarks.
It’s worth noting that Adam is known for doing impressions, as mentioned on his Wikipedia page. Mocking accents can be seen as humorous to some people, and the intention behind such humor is often to be offensive. The concept is that the joke would not be funny if it weren’t offensive. However, if you don’t find it funny, that’s okay. If you consider laughing at such corny satirical jokes as racist, then the same argument could be applied to shows like Family Guy, South Park, and others that make fun of certain beliefs. It’s important to recognize that Matty did not participate in the impressions.
In my view, racism goes beyond stereotypical accents of certain groups and involves systemic discrimination. People who grew up during the “your fave is problematic” era on Tumblr may have been influenced in a way that hyper-focuses on superficial issues like hairstyles and tattoos in different languages, while real issues affecting black people and other minorities, such as employment, housing, and food insecurity, are neglected due to factors like bad credit or minor offenses.
It’s crucial to choose our battles wisely and prioritize addressing systemic racism and inequality rather than getting caught up in trivial matters.
Regardless of personal opinions or feelings, it seems likely that they will continue to see each other. There have been previous reports and articles suggesting that they had a romantic history. One article, dated back to 2015, quoted Matty Healy discussing his troubled relationship with the press. It mentioned his connection to Taylor Swift, explaining that although nothing happened between them, the media’s interest in Swift created an unsettling presence for Healy. He expressed his discomfort with being scrutinized and judged by the world of fame.
It’s interesting to observe that people are now acting concerned about their involvement together, while they remained silent when Taylor Swift performed “The City” at one of the 1975 concerts or when Matty Healy assisted her with her album. It’s worth noting that they had a previous relationship as well.
It can be exhausting to witness Matty Healy’s name trending for trivial reasons, and it’s frustrating to see the out-of-context video from the Adam Friedland show circulating repeatedly. Moreover, labeling him as a bigot is far from accurate, as he has shown support for various political causes.
To gain a more comprehensive understanding, I would recommend watching the following videos where he expresses his views on specific political issues: there’s so much more but I CBA to find them but you can
1. Abortion
2. Gay rights/donated to LGBTQ center in England
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moqi2004 · 3 months
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Omgomg I need to see Dalv being introduced to Starlo's family
Hi! Sorry for how long this took! I wrote about 400 words last Wednesday and couldn't get myself to write more, and I was busy after that. It's done now though, and I hope you enjoy! I will tell you that on the proofread, I screamed to myself saying "THEY'RE GAY" multiple times out loud.
And to the anon who more recently asked for this same thing, you get your wish early :) congrats!
Family Introductions
Words: 1530
Cross-Posted on Ao3
Tags: implied past Staroba (one sided), family interactions, fluff, self-consciousness, anxiety, family teasing, sugary sweet, reassurances, Starlo being a proud boyfriend.
Summary: Starlo takes Dalv to meet his family in Sunnyside Farm. Dalv is understandably nervous about this. He finds that he has nothing to worry about.
Fic under the cut. Enjoy :)
Dalv’s first time in the Wild East had been the most fun he’s ever had. At first, the heat had been difficult to deal with, and the grains of sand loitering around within his shoes were almost unbearable. Luckily for him, his boyfriend was there. Starlo had offered to carry his cloak while they walked, which Dalv was quite happy to let him do. He also rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, attempting to cool down his body as much as possible. It didn’t take Dalv long to notice that Starlo was staring at him, eyes widened and face slightly flushed. Dalv bashfully held back from bringing it up.
He made a mental note of the reaction regardless.
The Wild East itself was a quaint little tourism spot with limited technology. Dalv noticed that most shopping and general commerce was done in Oasis Valley just west of there, while classic Dunes entertainment was celebrated right here. With a rustic tavern and even a jail (for show, thankfully), the place felt like it had jumped right out of a children’s tale! The aesthetic and charm quickly drew Dalv in, allowing to forget about the unbearable heat for just a moment.
Having the opportunity to meet all of Starlo’s friends was truly a blessing for him. After saying a quick hello to Ceroba, who he had kept in close contact with after she visited him in Snowdin with a box full of corn, he was introduced to The Feisty Four. They were all a joy to get to know. Dalv was content to sit and watch as Ed and Moray teased and bantered with Starlo, Ace staying back with him to make sure he was comfortable. Dalv had to reassure Ace a couple of times that he didn’t feel like he was being dragged around or forced into goofing with the posse. Star did have to stop Mooch from looting Dalv’s person a couple of times.
The two of them didn’t linger for very long, however. While Starlo did consider his posse as a second family, the real reason the two came all this way was so Dalv could visit Starlo’s family. As the two walked past Blackjack’s and out of town, Dalv couldn’t ignore how his heart began to race and his mind began to panic. What if Star’s family didn’t approve of their relationship? What if they didn’t like him? What would he do if things went wrong? Would he and Star have to…?
“Hey, Dal? You doin’ okay? Yer shakin’ a bit…”
Dalv’s attention quickly snapped towards Starlo. In his thoughts he had failed to notice that they had stopped walking, the pair’s hands carefully intertwined. Starlo could probably feel just how sweaty Dalv’s palm was starting to become. 
“Uh- I’m…”
Dalv wanted to tell Starlo that everything was okay…
He knew that would help nothing.
“I’m worried… I don’t really know if your family will like me…”
“Dal…” Starlo reached towards him with his free hand and rested it against his cheek, “I know my Ma and Pa will love ya. With a huge heart like yers, I know they’ll see ya for the monster I love. Heck, with the dedication to yer work and experience growin’ corn yerself, I’m sure even Orion will get along with ya! All you need to do is be the vampire I fell in love with.”
“But what if they hate me-”
“If they hate ya I’ll drag ya outta there and shower ya with all the kind words ya deserve t’hear.”
“So you won’t… Leave?”
“Of course not, darlin’... Never.”
Starlo leant forwards and pressed a delicate, reassuring kiss to Dalv’s forehead. Dalv allowed his shoulders to relax and nestled himself within his boyfriend’s arms. Star returned the hug eagerly, pressing a couple more light kisses to his horns. Dalv was unsure why he was so apprehensive in the first place. He had Starlo, after all. He knew the Sheriff was a noble and kind soul. He was ashamed to even think that he considered Star leaving him because of his family’s reactions.
“So, uh,” Starlo spoke up, the two still embraced, “you still ‘aight to do this?”
“Of course,” Dalv broke away with a warm smile, “lead the way.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *. 🦇 .* :☆ ゚。・ ───
Dalv was certain he had stepped into his own personal heaven. He knew that was probably a little sad, calling a corn farm the equivalent of paradise, but he truly couldn’t help it! The farm was a quaint little area with a corn field bigger than what Dalv could ever grow back in The Ruins. A cute, cobbled path and a little white house completed the homely feel that Sunnyside Farm radiated so strongly. Nearby, a four-pointed star in messy overalls and a plaid shirt was tending to the crops. Star momentarily glanced towards Dalv before waving.
“HEYYY, ORION!” he yelled, causing Dalv to jump a little.
The star turned around, eyebrow raised and lips drawn in a line of mild annoyance. He then caught sight of Dalv, who squeezed Starlo’s hand for support as the two were approached.
“Starlo,” Orion briefly regarded, “who’s this?”
“Right!” Starlo moved his hand from Dalv’s to wrap his arm around his shoulder, “Orion, this is Dalv, my partner! Dalv, this is Orion, my brother!”
“H-Hello there,” Dalv held out his hand for Orion to shake, "It's, uh, nice to meet you. This farm looks so well maintained, you must do an excellent job keeping the crops at this quality. I struggled to grow my own in The Ruins because of the lighting conditions and drab environment, but I found that with enough love and care the stalks can still grow to be incredibly strong and durable. It really portrays the… Strength of the… Plant…”
Dalv trailed off, eyes wide. Oh no, he’d been caught corn rambling! How could he let himself do that??? He focused back on reality when he felt his outstretched hand move up and down.
“You managed to grow corn in a place like that?” Orion asked, letting go of Dalv’s hand.
“Yea, he did!” Starlo chimed in, looking at Dalv with the proudest expression, “really impressive stuff, too! I’ve seen it myself!”
“Ah, it’s nothing that impressive-” Dalv began.
“Starlo!”
The three turned at the call of Star’s name. A sun monster and a moon monster walked down the steps of the house’s front porch. Starlo happily waved to the both of them, Dalv looking at him and then giving a small, shy wave of his own. When the two approached, the moon wrapped Starlo into a hug, which he seemed content with accepting. The sun monster came over to jostle the hat on Star’s head, as if ruffling the hair he didn’t have. The two then regarded Dalv, who Star was eager to introduce.
“Ma, Pa, this is Dalv! He’s, uh…” Star flushed a light pink, “he’s my partner.”
The two simultaneously looked to Dalv, who willed himself not to shrink backwards at the attention. He’d done many organ concerts at this point, but the stage fright from that could barely compare to the anxiety he felt at this moment. He steeled his mind. Please don’t hate me please don’t hate me please-
Dalv feels his hands being held. It felt different to Starlo’s hands-
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Dalv,” the moon monster smiled sweetly, holding both of his hands within her own, “my name is Crestina. I’m Starlo’s Mother. Thank you so much for being there for my little boy.”
“Ma, please…”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all, miss,” Dalv beamed.
“My name’s Solomon,” the sun monster added, “and truly, I’m glad Starlo finally found someone else after all these years. I thought that after Ceroba, he’d-”
“Pa, come on!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Solomon let out a hearty laugh.
“Don’t pay them no mind, Dal, I beg of ya…”
“Don’t worry, Star” Dalv looked at his boyfriend.
Dalv wasn’t sure what came over him after that. He just… Spoke.
“Honestly, I should be thanking all of you,” he began, “thank you for raising Star. I’m so happy I was able to meet him. He’s the kind of monster who can make any situation fun; who can bring joy everywhere he goes. He’s just so… Warm. So much so that I feel that same warmth whenever I’m with him. He’s supportive of me and my art, he’s amazing to talk to, and the only person I can think of spending all my time with… I couldn’t imagine life as it was before I met him… So thank you for having me, and uh, hopefully I can be the monster to stay by your son’s side.”
Dalv turned to Starlo, who’s face was a glowing scarlet. His jaw hung slack and his eyes were blown wide under his hat. 
“He’s perfect,” Crestina whispered to herself.
“Huh?” Dalv looked towards her, hands still within hers.
“Come with me, Dalv,” Crestina began to walk, gently guiding Dalv along with her, “I simply must show you our family photo album. I can assure you, my Starlight was an absolute treasure growing up-”
“MA!”
------------------------------------------------
REBLOGS > LIKES
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franki-lew-yo · 2 months
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An 'A-ha!' fandom moment, ft. The Owl House
These comments I screencapped from a user I watch elsewhere really hit like a brick in the face to me. I'm blotting out OP's name, mostly cuz this was just a shower thought they had rather than any meaningful open discussion with people, but it ended up making me realize something (also NO they're not some contrarian AntiSJW type or even hate TOH; they're a very gay+trans writer themselves. Sorry if youknowwhoyouare sees this and recognizes ur posts but you don't allow reblogs or comments and I wanted to present it on my own):
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The Owl House was always hampered by being killed halfway through, writing wise and that will always be it's greatest 'sin'. However, OP's comment made me realize how much the show kind of tells you it's characters are flawed rather than actually give them arcs to suggest it, especially in season 1. When I say flawed I don't mean lacking quirks that are relatable but human: Eda is a recluse criminal; King thought he could kill people and acted like it; Luz is a genki girl; Amity starts off as a bully; Hunter...is unfortunately Hunter, ect. Those ARE flaws, character wise, but in the presence of the complete story (as complete as the show will ever be) they really aren't actually flawed, bad people in anyway.
Before I go further, two things: 1, IN ALL FAIRNESS, this is why myself and others particularly LOVE the characters and why TOH was a comfort show for me rather than a 'high-tension narrative'. The characters are a lot of what you want and hope to be like and I think that's really sweet and enjoyable, especially for horror and especially for kids.
2, NO! I DON'T think any particular bad faith cartoon reviewer opinions about coddling certain characters and punishing others IS WHAT DANA and co did at all here! Steven Universe and certain crap-reviewer's takes ON Steven Universe and how it's characters were flawed but overly forgiven by the fandom the show itself are NOT the b-all end-all of this discussion, nor are they the reason The Owl House is the way it is!
The context op was talking about was how in the upcoming hate crime The Last Airbender live-action show the showrunners are going to tone down Sokka's sexism because they think it's 'unlikable'. Even though, we all knew as children that this was an arc for him and it was WRONG, so axing it because we the audience lack nuance to recognize characters we love doing problamtic-sisms is BEYOND annoying.
Op's point is how The Owl House in particular doesn't actually expect much or want much out of it's characters. Or audience. For any infighting early on about how much Amity should 'die' because of reasons, that's really just fandom infighting when you get right down to it. There's nothing on par with the disagreement people have over, say, the Diamonds from Steven Universe and how Steven 'totally forgave them or 'should have murdered them in cold blood' about The Owl House. And like...from a fandom point of view that's good, but otherwise the show is pretty concrete the way you're supposed to see certain characters vs other shows which allow you to make up your own mind.
Avatar, Star vs the Forces of Evil (pre finale), Centaurworld and Amphibia all showcase your protagonists being genuinely, intensely flawed. Sure, maybe some neckbreather crap-pseudocritic complains that they 'made the unlikable' or whatever (i.e. me with Friendship is Magic) but overall the actual point is HOW the characters actually have grown and have ended up with the ending and morality they need. The villains, no not Zukos or 'redeemed' villains who joined the protagonist squad, VILLAIN-villains, will always be at least one serious step behind the protagonists and that's what give the protagonists the cautionary wherewithal to end them like they should and not 'be like them'. It's such a fufilling narrative, there's a reason people like it so much because it's really good when it's delivered well.
Removed from my fandom gaze; the Owl House feels like it's saying it has that ultimate messaging and character arc when it actually doesn't. Your protagonists have the endearing aspirational-part totally covered, but as far as the actual 'edge' and nuance? Well...
Eda is, at most, naughty. She really isn't any kind of morally sidetracked character. She's an outlaw because literally her society is awful to her and she's in the right to be against it. She's cursed but she's not addicted to her potions or hiding it or not really taking care of herself or her loved ones because of it. Her actual biggest flaw is that she's been 'running away' from problems rather than dealing with them, but I'd be lying if that wasn't suggested more than it's actually portrayed; or at least, dealt with fast enough in "Eda's Requiem". A bigger issue I see, even if it's what's also endearing about her, is that she REALLY isn't a flawed caregiver at all. It's portrayed as her most redeeming feature that she's otherwise a good mom and mentor, but Eda having virtually no problems in raising Luz and King just, again, makes her feel ONLY aspirational. All of the angst about 'failing' to parent and making up for it is moved all onto Camilla and sadly all of that angst for her is mostly within an already bloated episode. Eda, while an absolute mood, lacks any real kind of edge. Does she need it or not? I don't know. Discuss, kids.
Luz, like OP says, is treated like this high-energy super-optimist. She's like Star Butterfly in that her fangirlism and impulsivness are supposed to get her in trouble. But, she absolutely just isn't one when you break it down. Besides episode 2, Luz really is never that inconsiderate or lost in her fantasies ever again throughout the show. She never has anything like what Steven goes through where he hops into Larz' body and makes things worse for people by trying to fix things- which is not only good filler but it calls forward to the ultimate ending of Steven's arc for the series - Luz is just sort of adorable. Luz has blindsided by hype moments of weakness, like when she accidentally hurts Owlbert or messes with Amity's secret room, but still always level headed and down-to-earth. Her impulses are always kind of treated like...excusable? Because, again, they usually are. This is a large part about what makes her self-hatred at the end of the show about accidentally helping Belos' feel 'forced'. Even MOREso than what Hunter and Daddy Titan explain about Belos using her, we the audience never see Luz's choice to go back in time and try and get answers from Philip as being anything other than just, you know, logical. Because it is. The show acts like what Luz did was reckless and bad and that she was SOOO overtaken by her fangirlism about Philip and now just how much she has to live with the guilt and regret of helping being duped by him...it just doesn't come off that way at all. She was only so much excited about meeting him and her interest was getting home to her mother. In terms of comparing her to Philip, that's all fine and good, but again it's not 'flawed'. Not really, anyway.
Lilith absolutely has it the worst...but I kinda think people know that. She arguably does have the most morally-gray turning point in the show given what she did to her own sister. But neither the characters nor her nor the show really hold her accountable in any lasting way for cursing Eda. Lilith is the closest we get to that 'Diamond'-dilemma. She does 'make things right way too quickly and it's obvious to even her biggest fans that her character is really rushed in this area. They lampshade what Lilith did and that she was their villain in season 2 and 2B, but lampshading isn't the same thing as progress. As a result, as a Lilith fan you kind of never really forgive her for what she did. None of that's her fault, cause' you know...she doesn't exist, but it makes it frustrating that you the fan watching the show is doing the heavy-lifting in your mind in this area.What you come away from is this feeling of loving the characters for being able to work everything out. They're engaging and nuanced in theory, but you also feel robbed, w or w/o the Disney interference, of them being fully rounded or WHOLE. It kinda feels like 'and suddenly, he wasn't racist, anymore' all the time with every character ever with except Amity's mom, the Titan Trappers and Belos.
The reason everyone dunks on Star vs the Forces of Evil's finale, (besides being salty over ship wars and declaring THAT'S the reason for the drop in quality) is that 'Cleaved' could have not only worked but REALLY worked. It just needed to be better written and processed as an ending. Instead people reviled Star, the protagonist we're supposed to be rooting for, for what feels like impulsive apathy and cruelty towards everyone else by destroying magic, as opposed to it being an actually selfless sacrifice that makes her different than Toffee. Ultimatley, I do prefer The Owl House, unfinished as it is, to any of that. But yeah... I can now never unsee the characters as being what they are: fun but indulgent when they're supposedly complex. Indulgent is never bad u guys, but the problem is when you only have that to go on while insisting you have fully developed characters, there's a lot of the show telling you how to feel and how to come away from it rather than letting you, the audience, make of that yourself. As annoying as fan-wars can be over this stuff and when people are either WAAAY to forgiving of their villain blorbo or form hate-campaigns over Glub Shitto for ruining their life, it is ultimately a good thing that shows give you that chance to really see the characters that way at all.
The Owl House is, as OP calls it, "tumblr feels" not for being gay and magical and fun and wholesome and indulgent like that stuff is GREAT. It feels 'tumblr oriented' in that it all kind of feels too easy even when it's not for your protagonists. It's never actually "challenging". I guess, in as far as 'good' indulgence is concerned, it's as warm and fuzzy and a happy AU fanfic you found but not so much the Pacifist Ending of Undertale where you really do feel bad if you rectify the good ending in anyway. It's fun and it's comfort food, but not entirely lasting as you want it to be???
Amphibia, I think, was also way better than Owl House in this respect. It wasn't perfect cause nothing is but you really got a feeling for HOW flawed Marcy, Sasha, the townsfolk and even Hop Pop throughout their arcs-- which made it so SO rewarding to see them get their happy endings and come together to defeat the core and be the better people they needed to become.
The Owl House is my favorite where I think Amphibia is the better of the two.
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samsm2mstories · 7 months
Text
My coming out story.
I thought I should share you my story about coming out which was actually recently.
For many years I had a lot of suppressive issues that were out of my hands, society, cultures and other reasons which meant for me it wasn't the right time. Luckily for some countries it's easily being who you are compared to 10-20 years ago. The world sucks still as there are homophobic idiots everywhere, some are just sore losers who got not respect in society while others just don't know any better as their upbringing wasn't teaching them to respect others.
Luckily enough I live in the UK and we as a country have got better even although the early / mid 1900s generation are still hard at adapting to the modern world. It's not their fault as their times were different. Religion, society didn't know much better but that's history as we are the ones that living in this world and will be the ones moving forward. Some people will never understand it and respect it.
I'm lucky to come out around great people, I am a very well respected in person and in general a natural born leader so you could say I was like a captain that was popular which made my coming out harder.
Some of you might be thinking now does it become easier to come out as your identity?
I believe it's can depends on a number of reasons. You got to truly believe that you are who you are.
Don't question it.
If you question yourself, don't come out as that's a sign you are not ready. Talk to your friends, talk to strangers who are gay online (be safe not to disclose personal information)
I will admit I sat in my chair for a few good hours debating how to come out. I decided to go for it and do it in one big statement. That's a strong trait of mine as you all can tell on here.
I needed to write my story in a way that it wouldn't offend people, I did mention about the industry that was homophobic, some of my family and school.
It was that second most nervous point in coming out, just posting/saying it. I thought about listening to a few songs that were a big part of my life, thinking about those moments where sometimes I should of come out earlier to enjoy those moments.
You know what, I don't regret it at all, yes I missed out on some years but I had a brilliant life, travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, and making amazing friends on the way.
It did take a toll on my mental health at times but being the strong person I am, I dealt with it quickly enough.
So that night I sat there and my song came along.
Starship: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (read the lyrics while listening to this song)
You know this was a song of mine but the words in it made me realised I want to go out there and enjoy myself.
I finally did it.....
Those nerves, stomach turning inside out, emotions running wild. It all hit me like a ton of bricks.
What will people think?
What will people say?
Will I lose some friends??
Everything was rushing in and out of my mind, I just went to bed, signed out of social media. I recommend you doing this for a day or two as you want to feel the response in one go.
People started to message me, those who had my mobile number. It became a bit easier, I wasn't in the mood for talking much so I text back in small sentences.
I went to work that day and luckily enough nobody there is on my social media pages. I managed to complete 8/10 hours of my shift.
I went home and cried for abit, emotions still hitting me like bullets. You will have moments thinking was this right but deep down you know you are right.
I decided to look at my social media pages.
The final verdict?
I'm finally a free man.
For those who are younger, there shouldn't be anyone under the age of 18 reading my stories as they are explicted but if you are reading this.
For you coming out would be different, I would recommend you do it now when the moment is right but take into consideration your family. Make sure you won't be disowned or kicked out of the house. Have a read-up online about it all and PLEASE RESEARCH EVERYTHING.
We all have different circumstances and you must be completely assured that coming out will be good when the moment is right..
Yes some might not agree with it.
Yes some might hate you now.
Yes some might be shocked and haven't replied.
Who cares????
This is your life so go out there and enjoy it, be safe while at it. Please use protection during sex with strangers.
Remember if you ever feel I doubt or want to talk, there's helplines, friends in the community, even send me a text if you want to talk more.
Don't be afraid to talk.
I hope you all enjoyed this irl story and it would be amazing if some of you reply to this about your coming out stories. It would make a brilliant discussion.
For those who are unsure on their sexuality, speak to me or other members of the community. Talking helps to make a decision. You will feel much better.
Sam your favourite Alpha writer 😎
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ingravinoveritas · 3 months
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cloud-based-and-rainpilled replied to your post: 
Someone mentioned in a comment that Michael got ‘downgraded’ to boyfriend, so my tinfoil (again, could be wrong/insane) is that AL & GT referring to each other as wifey is to downplay the previous MS ‘wife’ jokes, since people keep commenting about a poly thing going on, moreso than the past. Also since MS is in London rn, he’s with DT more, so I think there’s a bit of insecurity going on. a lot of (doomed) poly couples have an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule, or think the swinging being gay 'doesn't count/isn't a threat,' which could be why the posts feel forced. (parasocial, creepy, bad person, etc., whatever, I calls it as I sees it and have seen it before 🤷‍♀️ )
lepqueen replied to your post: 
My biggest question on this was actually about the song choice, given that I am reasonably sure Sting said at some point Every Breath You Take is a stalker song.
@cloud-based-and-rainpilled I had a similar thought about the insecurity. I think Georgia and AL trying so hard to give the appearance of everything being "fine" and everyone getting along only makes it feel more like things in reality are not exactly what's being presented on social media. I personally did not see "boyfriend" as a downgrade (because from my perspective, "other wife" reads as more jokey/unserious, but boyfriend is...softer, somehow), but I can see why some folks could interpret it as a downgrade when it's actually a readjusting of whatever the dynamic is between all of them.
Going back to the insecurity, I had also wondered how things would play out while Michael was in London for such a long time during the run of Nye, and it makes all the sense in the world that things would change with Michael and David being able to see each other in person frequently. And you make a salient point about the gay swinging being seen as less threatening (which I think is why it's been easy for Georgia and AL to start up with that, and why we have never seen even one reference to David/Anna or Michael/Georgia and swinging). It could be that shipping Michael and David was also seen as less threatening and easier to play along with a few years ago, when it was all still new and Michael and David hadn't gotten as close as they have now. So yes, I do think something has changed, and though we may never be privy to what specifically, we can still see its aftereffects and reverberations in a variety of ways.
(I also wish the antis/people making vitriolic posts in the tags would understand your final point, which is that some of us have seen these things before and are speaking from a place of experience--unlike their assertions (and I have actually seen someone say this) that we have never had any close friendships or relationships like these, and therefore know nothing.)
To your comment, @lepqueen, I also found myself raising an eyebrow at the song choice. You are correct that Sting has described the song as being creepy, and I found one quote from him in particular attesting to this:
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I'm not really sure how this fits into the context of AL's post, though, or what made her choose it. Is the David pillow watching her every move? Is she watching the pillow? I have no idea. But that was certainly a choice, so there you go...
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nyxsealia · 4 months
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When I was 17 and trying to figure out what the heck my sexuality was, the main, if not only, piece of advice I found online, even when I directly asked people, was to go out and experiment sexually with various people and see what gender I enjoyed sex with most. And years later, that still seems to be the advice most of us give when someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with doing that, and if that's what helped you, great. But I do think there's issues with this being the most prevalent advice.
There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to do this, various personal or religious reasons, comfort levels, a lack of interest in sex, not experiencing much or any sexual attraction, or simply being too young for this to be applicable.
I found the advice unhelpful for many of the reasons I just mentioned, and it left me feeling lost on how I was supposed to find out what my orientation was. It also left me with thoughts like how can I be a part of queer culture if I don't want to experiment sexually or be sexually active? Even looking at articles with advice on dating as a queer woman I saw bullet points like "It's okay to have sex on the first date!" there was so much emphasis on how it's okay to have very active sex lives that it left me feeling like if I didn't want that, I'd never be able to have relationships because there'd be an expectation of sex right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, sex positivity is important and we shouldn't shame people for their sex lives. But I feel like we don't don't talk about not being into that kind of thing enough.
I also didn't know at the time that I was asexual, and while I'm sex neutral and open to the idea of sex with a trusted partner, I don't have any desire to seek out sexual relationships. Not experiencing sexual attraction made figuring out my attraction a thousand times harder. I still don't know if I'm bi/pan or lesbian. I do refer to myself as gay or lesbian in some instances, but sometimes I say queer or just shrug and say "I like girls" or "I'm not straight" and some days I'm okay with the vagueness of that, but other days I feel the stress and pressure of having to pick an identity in order to have a community to belong to and be accepted. That stress and pressure doesn't get better when all the advice I can find on the subject just tells me to have sex and that'll clear everything up.
We put a lot of focus on finding out exactly "what" you are. And I don't think sex is the best way to do that. Lots of people have varying interest in sexual or physical intimacy, not just queers. My cishet friend told me she got a boyfriend but she wasn't entirely sure if what she was feeling was romantic, and that the idea of kissing made her uncomfortable. She doesn't identify as ace or aro, and she shouldn't have to. People can have a lack of interest in these things without a lack of attraction.
Another issue with this advice is that sexual and romantic attraction doesn't always line up for everyone. You may enjoy sex with all genders, but find you only have a desire to date one. So sexual experimenting wouldn't necessarily answer the question for you. Orientation is really complicated. I did mostly consider myself lesbian, but I occasionally find men aesthetically attractive, and I'm honestly starting to wonder if I'm actually bi but still feel uncomfortable using the term.
All this needlessly long and ramble-y text to say, this advice is simply useless to a lot of people. And while I can't speak personally for this part, I'd bet at least some people who enjoy sexual experimentation still weren't sure of their orientation at the end of it. This advice shouldn't be presented as the one size fits all solution.
If you're uncomfortable or uninterested in figuring out your identity this way, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with not knowing. You don't have to know right now, or ever if you'd prefer that. It's okay to use vague terms. It's also okay to use whatever label feels closest even if it's not perfect. And remember, you're not locked into anything. You can always change labels.
There is no right way to determine your orientation. Everyone discovers themself in different ways and at different ages. It's not a race or a checklist. The most important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself and whatever you do to figure yourself out, be safe.
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