#i really gotta do that family tree oof | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

Text

Interview

BB: welcome back everyone! So good to see you all here today! We're back for a 3rd time here on BB Channel! Like before we're joined by the lil cuties of Ed and Mari. But this time their parents have come to join!

Rex: hello...

Quetz: Hola!

BB: that wasn't a very strong greeting Rex!

Rex: I'm tired right now. Can't this wait?

BB: time waits for no one and neither does BB!

Mari: already this is super annoying! *sigh* so why'd you decide to bring them into this anyways?

BB: the people who follow this blog need to see how they're doing so long after Chaldea too! You two have had the spotlight for a while, so now you should share.

Ed: I mean... guess that's fair.

Mari: should anyone be dealing with this?

Rex: I'd rather not be here either.

BB: aaaww, don't be like that! This will be fun!

Quetz: that's a very hard sell BB.

BB: just humor me at least.

Rex: ...fine

Quetz: what are we even doing anyways?

BB: some of your interdimensional buds have sent in questions about how you guys are doing, and I'm here to get those answers for them!

Quetz: that actually sounds nice...

BB: what'd I tell ya!?

Rex: yeah yeah, pls get started.

BB: fine. First few are from my precious bombardier beetle! First one she asks: do you have any pets?

Mari: oof! Do we!

Rex: currently we have four dogs: 1 German Shepherd named King, a Pitbull named Sparks, a Dogo Argentino named Duke, and a Corgi named Marshmallow.

Quetz: but also we have a habit of adopting older dogs who aren't likely to get a home because of their age or rescues to give them a nice place to stay.

BB: aaawww, well ain't that wholesome?

Mari: we also have mom's bigass pterosaur!

BB: less wholesome. Next one from my dear yellowjacket: favorite foods?

Rex: PIZZA!

Mari: CAKE!

BB: whoa! Pump the brakes you two! No need to get too excited!

Quetz: ...honestly? I don't really have a favorite food. Just a bunch I like to eat and some I don't. If I had to choose, I'd say chocolate.

Ed: I'm a steak man myself.

BB: 2 sweets, and 2 savories. Next up! Who wakes up earliest?

Rex: Quetz

Ed and Mari: Mom

Quetz: ...I guess it's me... hehehe.

BB: honestly I'm not surprised. She's so damn athletic and even used to be a professional.

BB: next! Where do you all like to go for vacations and such?

Ed: mom and dad have a vacation home in Alaska.

BB: Alaska?! Why?

Mari: when warm weather is the norm for you it's nice to go to the cold to change things up.

Rex: yeah, it's actually very nice. Not too many people and beautiful nature sights.

BB: well to each their own. Another from my dear antlion: how long does it take to pick a movie or TV show to watch?

Quetz: hehehe, we're all so indecisive it takes ages to pick. It's not uncommon for us to give up after taking so long.

BB: you should work on that. This next one's interesting. My precious army ant also suggests a round of common household jobs and the like from each member.

Rex: hmmm

BB: she gave an example of like, who does the cooking?

Quetz: well it's both me and mi amor in that case. The kids aren't very creative.

Ed: hey! We're plenty creative!

Mari: no we're not, don't lie.

Rex: we only really ask that the kids clean their rooms and any messes they make. We handle most everything else.

BB: they should really show some independence tho. Can't coddle them forever.

BB: in the next one, Cadence asks about a house tour and if there's a jacuzzi.

Quetz: a house tour feels like it should be it's own thing.

Rex: yeah, but we do have a jacuzzi dude, so don't worry.

BB: next one's from Reen: she asks what would life be if you weren't in chaldea,

Rex: y'mean like now? I mean... it's a relatively normalish domestic life? With less work tho.

Quetz: si, I've made plenty from my lucha career before retirement we don't have to worry about money much. But mi amof still makes money just in case.

BB: well after that she asks: how was your life before and after meeting each other?

Rex: ...kinda sad. Aside from chaldea and saving the world, I was kinda just... stagnant. Go to work, go home and so on. Not much to my life before then.

Quetz: ...honestly, for me it was the same. After the age of Gods ended we didn't do much of anything. We mostly watched over humanity, I've been summoned in modern day before but that was rare and infrequent.

Rex: ...after I met Quetz tho... I dunno things felt... better? She kinda forced her way into my life after I summoned her and... I was more then ok to accept her... before long we had something beautiful...

Quetz: aww, mi amor! I'm so happy to hear that!

BB: ain't that sweet? Like me and my dear centipede. Final one from Reen: if you could build a dream home then where? (Can be in fantasy)

Rex: I mean... where we are now is good.

Mari: yeah, right at the border of a huge rainforest in the Yucatan sounds fine.

Ed: but what about the fantasy bit?

Quetz: hmmm... we don't really look at fantasy much. But maybe a castle of some kind?

Rex: or a Mayan temple? But with electricity and Wi-Fi.

BB: that's fair. Need those memes in your life. Now some from Kaz! First she asks: what kind of gifts do you give each other?

Rex: uuhh, well I like getting mi corazon custom things. Like some personal clothes, or even a portrait of the two of us.

Quetz: ehehehe, I like to spoil mi amor with extravagant things! Golden treasure and the like!

Mari: concerning...

BB: next, how would you spend the day if it's raining outside?

Rex: I actually enjoy rainy weather, so I like to chill near a window or even on the porch listening to the rain.

Mari: it's very soothing.

BB: how quaint. Last one from Kaz: whose good at cooking and baking?

Quetz: hehehe, that'd be me. Tho it might be considered cheating since I use my goddess power to help.

Mari: well no one else is the greatest normally so it's fine.

BB: a good 'ol better then nothing kinda attitude! Now we're back to Cadence but with more relaxed questions: what's the current house look like?

Rex: ....big.

Mari: like three stories tall with a DEEP basement.

Ed: like... 5 rooms too many.

Quetz: we also have an indoor pool.

Rex: the outside looks almost gothic, but partially taken over by nature.

BB: all this near a rainforest?

Quetz: si! Despite the size, all the nearby trees still tower over it.

BB: nature can get scary. I've seen worse and have been worse but still. Another one: how do family events function? Any specific holidays?

Quetz: ...most family events are just us... going somewhere nice to eat nice food...

Rex: do they mean bringing extended family? My family lives too far to visit often

Quetz: ...and I'd rather not speak of mine... things have gotten rocky as of late.

Mari: right, well for holidays we celebrate most standard one, like Easter and valentine's and such. For October we kinda try to combine Halloween and Day of the dead.

Ed: but Christmas is the most important for us! Mom and Dad always make the biggest celebrations for Christmas!

BB: gotta love the holidays! Especially when your mom is santa... still weird to say that. Next one! Any plans for the future?

Rex: eh... not really? I mean I want to prepare Maria to continue the family magecraft, since Ed has no interest.

Mari: someone has to continue on this lost practice.

BB: good to know it won't be lost to time like we thought. Next one! Daily life?

Rex: I wake up, eat, work on magecraft, spend family time, spend time with Quetz, go to bed.

Quetz: I wake up, workout, eat, workout, spend time with mi familia, lovely time with mi amor and then I sleep.

Ed: I wake up, take a walk, eat, practice soccer, spend family time, sleep.

Mari: sleep, sleep again, dragged to breakfast by mom, eat, eat again, mess with magecraft, eat, sit with everyone else, scroll thru my phone for hours, sleep.

Quetz: *sigh* mija, you need to change your priorities.

Mari: mmmmm... No.

BB: bad habits there Mari. Next they'd like to know if your in contact with anyone from chaldea? Other then me!

Rex: here's a real quick list: Marie, Mash, Kiara, Penth, Astraea, Martha, Ishtar, Gorgon, Jalter, The twins, your kids BB, etc etc.

Quetz: too many to list...

BB: nice you haven't lost contact! Next! About that Wedding?

Rex: well... it was eventful to say the least. Not long after completing the china LB. Most of the servants were invited, and most of Quetz's family showed up.

Quetz: si, Martha officiated it for us. Most of my family were so nice at the time... too bad that hasn't lasted.

Rex: let's not mention that...

BB: it was such a nice wedding! You two were so "nervous" you had trouble with your vows! How adorable!

Mari: why the quotes?

BB: no reason... now we're at the home stretch! Good 'ol Ash has some for stuff that technically hasn't happened yet, but you should still be able to answer! What responsibilities will Rex take on when he joins the pantheon?

Quetz: ...well he'll be largely a guardian of life on earth. Authority over things like the jungle itself, volcanos, and even snow... for some reason.

Rex: well it still snows in mexico... occasionally.

Quetz: and we'll be sharing authority over Venus! I wanted to share it with mi amor!

BB: cute! Hmmm, not sure if you cananswer this one just yet? Adjusting to God hood?

Rex: well I got to try it out a bit. Summoning lava and snow is... interesting. But also... my mind felt... odd... but also clearer? Not sure how to put it...

BB: I'm sure when you get there you'll get it... took me a bit after servant fest. And how did the other divinities react?

BB: actually I have some recordings of that to answer, so play the clip!

A screen appears showing recordings of some servants, one at a time.

Ishtar: eh! She's turning you into a god!? ...I guess you've earned it master...

Eresh: what!? Can you do that?! ...guess I won't see you in Kur... then again I don't think you have any link to Kur anyways.

Kama: do you really think your cut out for it? I mean... if it's just for you two to be together then I guess it's fine.

Astraea: godhood is a very big responsibility master. Are you certain you're up to it? Saving humanity is also a big task but at least that has an end point. This is... eternal.

Qin: oh! So you have decided to go for immortality after all?! Tho not the same as my methods, it is still good to see you two will be happy together!

Scathach: immortality? I've strived for death for so long... to see you go for immortality... Hopefully you'll find happiness, where I couldn't...

The screen turns off.

BB: very interesting! Most seem hesitant of it all... I for one think it's cute! Imagine in a thousand years you guys have a double date with me and my dear stag beetle!

Rex: ...a thousand years...

Quetz: still having trouble processing it all?

Rex: yeah... maybe when I get there... it'll be easier.

BB: now for today's final one! A scenario! One of you two goes berserk! What does the other do to calm them down?

Rex: well that has happened before... usually a nice hug is more then good enough.

Quetz: si! I've almost destroyed a few servants a few times until mi amor caught me in a hug! I can't bring myself to harm him... so I stop!

BB: sounds too easy... but I've seen that before so... I'll let it slide.

BB: well that's all the time we have for now! Hopefully you all are satisfied by the answers! We'll be doing this again, seeya!

Screen cuts out, the show's over.

Questions provided by: @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia

Other tags

@haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #rexcoatl #mastersona #rex #bb #maria #eduardo

16 notes · View notes

loreofthekidults · 4 years

Text

Cocoa & Chili | Yoon Jeonghan

focus: jeonghan

words: 2k

genre: stranger things au / high school au / marching band au? / fall themes

description: I’ve been really missing stranger things this year, and with the onset of fall, I decided to start writing instead of just moping around bc lets be honest, without svt I’m not sure we could remain sane this year. Thank you to all the hosts of the #caratrevival event, it’s really motivating and inspiring to see all these creators! This week’s themes were Jeonghan and your Favorite Hip-Hop Unit song, which in my case is Chilli. Hope you enjoy the references!

a/n: Thank you to @woozisnoots for making such an amazing banner for this fic. Check out her writing too and enjoy!

Also, happy birthday Jeonghan!

____________________

Jeonghan stomped down the stairs into the warmly lit basement. He scanned the room for the small, black case, but blankets, board games, and backpacks were strewn into every corner and across every surface. He stalked past the group crowded around the round table staring intently at their character sheets.

“Have you seen my flute case, Seokmin?” Jeonghan called out to his younger cousin behind him. He threw a pile of jackets off the floral armchair and rummaged a hand through the cushions. Nope, not there.

“No idea!” The kid didn’t even lift his head from arranging the grid with the figurines of his new campaign.

“Are you really not going to tell me?” Jeonghan gushed as he hopped over and encased Seokmin in a suffocating bear hug. He pulled his scrawny cousin off his chair and began to swing him back and forth in the air. “Pleeease? Please please please? Just give me a hint.”

Seokmin, ever the happy bug, screamed his head off like a pigeon in fright while intermittently shrieking in laughter.

Across the table, Mingyu giggled but continued to roll for his stats. Vernon spared them a glance, but simply chose to ignore the chaos beside him while Hoshi guffawed his distinctive laugh and clapped his seal clap. Seungkwan sighed dramatically but couldn’t help joining in on the attack.

“Come on, tell him! Then we can finally get him out of our hair and start playing!” Seungkwan protested as he tickled his helplessly flailing friend.

“Okay, okay!” Seokmin gasped, “Check the vcr pile—it’s probably somewhere there.” He pointed to the corner of the room where a mountain of plastic cases rose beside their boxy television. Jeonghan immediately let him go, letting him drop heavily onto the carpeted floor. It only took a moment of scavenging for him to spot his flute case stacked underneath Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and his collection of Twilight Zone tapes.

“Is it a home game today?” Vernon asked, glancing at the marching band helmet lying on the table.

“Yup, glad we don’t have to travel an hour to Soomantown just to watch their football team wreck ours again. We can get wrecked 10 minutes from home this time,” Jeonghan chuckled as he grabbed his shako helmet and ruffled Seokmin’s chestnut-brown hair. “Thanks, bud.”

“DM for us next time,” Seokmin hollered after him, his head a mess. “We miss your campaigns!”

“Alright, maybe next time.” Jeonghan stuffed his instrument and shako into his Jansport and threw on his periwinkle blue marching band jacket. “Don’t forget there’s Grandma’s chili in the crockpot if you guys get hungry.” He clamored back up the stairs, out of the toasty basement of his childhood where he used to weave magical stories of monsters and heroes with them.

It wasn’t as if he no longer liked Dungeons and Dragons and the crazy storytelling that came with it, but he had other things to fill his time than sitting at home playing make-believe, especially with—as much as he loved these kids—newly minted freshmen.

As Jeonghan opened the garage door, he was met with the crisp smell of decaying leaves and fresh air of October. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in. Oof, so chilli.

A slight moldy stink tickled his nostrils, though. Crinkling his nose, he opened his eyes just to see another kid speeding on his bike up the driveway to the house.

“Hey, Jeonghan,” The kid hopped off and threw his bike haphazardly onto the grass. “Nice outfit.” He swung his backpack at him as he dashed past him into the house.

“You better hurry up Dino, else they’ll start without you,” Jeonghan called, half-heartedly dodging the swing.

By the time Jeonghan parked his car behind the high school and strolled onto the fields toward the rest of the marching band, he couldn’t help but miss the cozy heat of the basement.

Rubbing his hands together desperate for any warmth, Jeonghan walked towards where Joshua was kneeling in the grass assembling his clarinet. They waved at each other in greeting and began sharing complaints like two elderly patients deeply offended by the cold seeping into their joints.

Seungcheol shuffled over and pointed a gloved finger at Jeonghan. “Late! That’s going on your record Yoon Jeonghan.” He made an overly exaggerated effort in taking out his pen and writing Jeonghan’s name in his notebook.

“Chill, man. What’s the point of being friends with the drum major if I can’t dodge the rules sometimes?” Jeonghan whined despite laughing at his friend’s antics.

Seungcheol just wagged his finger at him accusingly. “Make him run laps,” Joshua softly suggested with his mischievous smile.

“No time, unfortunately. We gotta go warm up soon.” Eyes scanning the expanse of light blue uniforms, Seungcheol was back into drum major mode. “Oh hey, the trumpet girl is late, too.”

They turned to look at the new girl in town stepping onto the field. It wasn’t often their small town had any visitors, even rarer a new resident family.

“Anyways,” Seungcheol clapped his hands, “let’s get into your sections.” He wandered off into the crowd, ordering his classmates to start warming up while brandishing his trombone in one hand like a disgruntled substitute teacher.

Joshua stopped Jeonghan for a moment before they separated and handed him a hand warmer. “Thanks!” “Nope, I’m keeping the other three.” Jeonghan snickered as he shoved Joshua away and joined the rest of the flutes in their warm up drills.

As expected, their marching band show was performed without a hitch, and the spectators gushed over the color guard with their periwinkle blue and rose pink flag formations.

And as expected, the opposing football team with their star players totally squashed Pledies High’s football team.

When half-time finally crawled into view, Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol could not be more ecstatic. It was only 7pm, but the autumn chill settled like a thick blanket over the field. Playing bleacher features to a futile game on cold metal seats didn’t do much to keep them warm either.

So when they were finally allowed to put their instruments away and take a break from the disaster of a game, they quickly squeezed their way through the crowd to get to the snack shop and raffle tables.

Leaning against the fence by the edge of the field, the trio cuddled their cups of hot cocoa in their hands and inhaled the sweet steam like desperate sharks around blood.

Jeonghan scrunched his eyebrows as he detected the funky scent that he couldn’t quite identify mixed in with the sugary smell.

A presence softly rustled behind Jeonghan and murmured slowly. Shivers shot through Jeonghan, and he whipped his head toward the quiet voice. His sudden jerk sploshed some of the hot cocoa onto his hand, burning his fingers and making him even more panicked. He instinctively leaned in towards Joshua, away from whatever creeped up next to him.

Jeonghan let out a breath as he recognized the figure. The tall, lean person next to him wore a fitting varsity jacket from the visiting school. His face wore a nonchalant expression that morphed into one of surprise as he did a double take when he finally got a good look at Jeonghan’s face.

“Oh, wait. You’re not Johnny.” He turned away in embarrassment and sauntered back into the crowd, presumably to find his not-Jeonghan friend.

“He thought I was one of their star football players?” Jeonghan asked incredulously, looking bug eyed at his friends. Seungcheol giggled and flicked a strand of his hair. “Must be the silky locks.”

As Joshua and Seungcheol played with his hair, Jeonghan saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. He caught a whiff of that same moldy funk.

“Guys, do you smell that?” Jeonghan pushed himself off the fence and squinted at the dark foliage behind the bleachers.

“Smell what?” Seungcheol sniffed the air and rubbed his nose. Joshua followed Jeonghan’s gaze. “Is that trumpet girl?”

The blue uniform could just be barely made out against the shadows of the tree line. She appeared to be climbing into the thick shrubbery.

“Maybe she lost something?” He gestured for his friends to follow him. “Come on, let’s go help her.” Jeonghan discarded his empty cup in the trash bin and walked towards the trees. Joshua calmly blinked a few times before trudging along forward with him.

“What could she have lost so far into the woods?” Seungcheol whined. But he couldn’t hide his concern in his voice as he also curiously, and apprehensively, peered into the darkness after her.

They ventured past the bleachers away from the stadium lights into the trees. Here, among the branches and brambles, the shadows blended into each other and the volume of the crowd behind them was muffled.

Joshua took out a small keychain flashlight attached to his swiss-army knife. With its measly light, they made their way through underbrush, past twisty trees, and around thorny vines. The football field was only a short distance away, but the atmosphere felt heavy with the night and the trees seemed to be watching them.

“Guys, are you sure she went this way?” Seungcheol’s voice climbed higher by a few pitches as he reluctantly fell in step behind them.

Snaps of twigs and distant growling could be heard ahead of them. Jeonghan coughed slightly as he breathed, the moldy scent creeping through the air formidably. It felt like the air was lined with layers of webs of sticky mold, and no amount of flailing could unstick the smell.

“Man, you weren’t kidding earlier. This smell is nauseating.” Joshua whispered nasally, fingers pinching his nose.

They came to a clearing where a creature seemed to be digging at the roots of a tree. Jeonghan couldn’t quite make out what it was. But he was sure it wasn’t just a dog that escaped their yard. It’s movements were… off.

It was about the size of a medium-sized dog, but without any of the expected pupper qualities. Its leathery skin rippled like damp velvet and slime was oozing off in tiny droplets. When the brightness from Josh’s flashlight hit its back, the creature whipped around immediately. Where there should have been a face, its head opened up like a blooming flower, with five petal lined with rows of teeth. It screamed a bobcat scream and pranced forward at the trio.

Stumbling backwards, Jeonghan grabbed a stick from the ground and swung it wildly in front of him. Joshua was crouched in a defensive position with his flashlight in a trembling hand but was frozen shock-still, swiss army knife totally forgotten. Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan’s shoulders behind him, holding him as a barrier between him and the creature.

Shrieking, Seungcheol mustered all the courage he had and threw the remaining bits of hot cocoa in his cup at the creature. The liquid hit it square in the face, making the monster rear back in surprise for a moment. But after a wary lick, it seemed to lap up the spilt drink deliciously.

“Did you just feed the monster?” Jeonghan hissed.

“It’s all I have on me! What else could I throw at it?” Seungcheol waved his arms wildly as he returned to his post behind Joshua and Jeonghan, pulling on their jacket sleeves to get them to back slowly away from the clearing.

“I don’t know, maybe a rock or something?” Joshua whisper-screamed in a very un-Joshua manner.

“Chill, buddy, Chill,” Jeonghan held the stick in front of him and waved it gently to the left. And right. Then left.

The creature closed its face petals to form a bud-like head which followed the motion of the stick curiously. Right and left and right.

Jeonghan winded up his arm and threw the stick to the distant side of the clearing. The creature turned and ran after the branch, demolishing it with its teeth. Splinters flew everywhere.

“Go, go, go, go, go!” Jeonghan turned and shoved Joshua and Seungcheol. They scrambled blindly past the thorns, out of the woods, and into the bright lights of the field. They reached the back of the bleachers, and Seungcheol grasped them deliriously into a tight embrace. Josh was still wide-eyed while Jeonghan was giggling half hysterically from the remnants of the adrenaline.

“Whoa, what happened to you guys?” The trio looked up and saw trumpet girl standing before them, eyebrows raised and a leaf sticking out of her hair.

“You’re alive!” Jeonghan gasped. The trio looked at each other bewildered and cackled deliriously.

#caratrevival #svt #seventeen #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #i am silently freaking out #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfiction #jeonghan scenario #fanfiction #jeonghan fanfics #fanfic #stranger things au #my writing

32 notes · View notes

wonderlandleighleigh · 4 years

Text

85 Thoughts while watching Return of the Jedi

1. THE HELMETS ARE DUMB

2. I still love the idea that Stormtroopers fucking loved Vader, and all of the commanders were terrified of him.

3. Vader helmet so shiny.

4. Back on Tatooine. It always comes back to Tatooine, doesn’t it?

5. 3P0 was so hoping that the door wouldn’t open. He just wanted to go home.

6. Everyone in Jabba’s palace looks really...gross. I guess that fits, right? Jabba’s palace is super gross, so.

7. I never understood as a child the slavery - and the sex slavery - aspect of Jabba’s palace. Only as an adult have I fully understood just how fucked up this is.

8. Remember kids, Luke has NO IDEA that Anakin was a Hutt slave as a child. Is there any canon stuff where he finds out about that? I’d be interested.

9. Han’s carbonite face is so fucking dumb.

10. Man droid torture is no joke. If that’s what they do to droids, think about what they do to people...

11. Oh god, the musical number. Like I thought it was funny when I saw it for the first time when they did the re-releases, but also, it’s this weird dissonance between that and Oola’s death.

12. Jabba is so much creepier here than in New Hope.

13. I love all the disguises and subterfuge in the opening storyline. And I love that they took the time to deal with Jabba and the bounty on Han’s head. It’s a nice break from the Galactic War.

14. I remember watching this for the first time, and when Leia pulls the helmet off and is like “Someone who loves you” I was like OMG! And my shipper heart grew ten times as large.

15. Han is so...moist. Here. Blugh.

16. Ugh. God. Poor Leia. They do a good job of illustrating just how fucking terrible Jabba is, but...god dammit.

17. Han and Chewie reunion! <3 <3 <3

18. Luke Skywalker - Jedi Knight. Somewhere Mace Windu is looking at all of Luke’s attachments and impulsive behaviors and dry heaving.

19. THE BIKINI IS GROSS! The only thing good about it is that Leia will eventually strangle Jabba to death while wearing it. Otherwise? Ugh.

20. Luke Skywalker. Jedi Knight. Fashion icon.

21. I always felt bad for the Rancor’s master. He loved his Rancor. And the Rancor was just as much a slave as any of the people in Jabba’s palace. It was probably only fed when there was a person Jabba wanted to kill so it would be as vicious as possible.

22. This trio is so bad-ass.

23. Luke knows what the Sarlacc is.

24. BANTHA HERD!

25. Ugh. The Dune Sea is really fake-looking here.

26. R2 as waiter makes me so happy. It’s so ridiculous.

27. “Convenient.”

28. Anakin Skywalker would be so fucking proud of his daughter strangling Jabba the Hutt to death. It’s everything he ever wanted to do to fucking slavemasters on Tatooine.

29. “Boba Fett. Boba Fett. WHERE?!”

30. Per Dettiot: Luke went to Obi-Wan’s old hut on Tatooine and found the handbook to make his lighsaber, as well as some kyber crystals. What else he was up to between Empire and Jedi, I’m not sure.

31. Knee. High. Chanel. Boots.

32. The sheer utter chaos and destruction would make Anakin Skywalker kvell*.

33. I don’t know if Yoda considers Luke his friend. More like just another snot-nosed apprentice who will eventually disappoint him.

34. Leave us alone, Palpatine. What a fucking pruny piece of shit.

35. Yoda’s death is so bitter-sweet for me. I love Yoda. But he made so many mistakes in his life that he never really owned up to. I suppose he felt that his exile was his penance. But I don’t know if I agree. He could have come out of hiding to aid the Rebellion.

36. Also, he was planning to die without coming clean to Luke about Vader. And that is some horse shit.

37. “Suffer your father’s fate.” At least he’s admitting that Anakin wasn’t solely to blame. That there was manipulation there.

38. “I can’t go on alone.” Go find Ahsoka and Ezra! You’re not alone!!

39. The fact that Obi-Wan truly believed that that Anakin had died and Vader took his place.

40. Yoda and Obi-Wan never moved on from their trauma. They keep reliving their trauma and so they cannot move forward, and so they keep making the same mistakes over and over. Asking Luke to kill Vader is proof of that.

41. And it really shows that Obi-Wan, even after his attachments to Satine and Akakin and Ahsoka - does not understand family. Luke saying “I can’t kill my father,” and Obi-Wan being like “Whelp. There’s no other way so the Emperor wins.”

42. There being no mention of Luke and Leia’s mother ANYWHERE except for the one moment later on, drives me CRAZY. Obi-Wan could have told Luke about Padme then.

43. I love that Han and Leia can sit next to each other in a meeting and not have to have arms wrapped around each other. Just being next to each other is enough.

44. GENERAL SOLO! Leia’s face. “Excuse you, how did you suddenly get hotter?”

45. The painted backgrounds are so beautiful.

46. Poncho game is strong in this movie.

47. FLY CASUAL is such a stupid line. I love it.

48. Skywalker twin exasperation is the best. Padme would be proud.

49. Leia just going for it is so so good.

50. I know Ewoks catch a lot of shit for...well..being Ewoks. But I love them. They’re adorable! And they have no qualms about eating humans!

51. “My Son.” I think this is the first time Vader has referred to Luke as his son to someone who isn’t Luke, instead of the “Son of Skywalker.”

52. Watch as we realize that Leia has been holding the one brain cell this entire time, and Han, Luke and Chewie get totally clueless.

53. PROPER.

54. I love Ewok tree houses.

55. Remember kids. They were planning to eat Han, Luke and Chewie.

56. Where the hell did that dress even come from that Leia is wearing??? They just had that lying around?

57. I guess they ate the last woman who wore it.

58. I love that 3P0 in New Hope, claims he’s not much of a storyteller, and then in the Jedi like is like a master storyteller lol.

59. And here, we get the only mention of Padme. And it wasn’t even Padme. It was a handmaiden. I will forever be salty that Padme isn’t mentioned at all because George didn’t think of her until the prequels. Argh.

60. Luke’s unwavering belief in Anakin is so amazing. The sequels did that part of his character so dirty. This version of Luke would never have tried to kill his nephew.

61. “It is too late for me.” God dammit, Anakin. The thing is that if he goes with Luke, he is admitting that everything he has done for the last twenty years is all for nothing, and he just fucking can’t do it. So much denial .So much pain. Fuck you, Vaderkin.

62. EWOK ON A SPEEDER

63. REX! A REX SIGHTING! YES!

64. Y’all remember that Ewok movie with the blonde child? “Star cruiser crash!!”

65. Padme would be so proud of Luke’s fashion.

66. Wedge got promoted! Yay!

67. I love the old Hollywood trick of shadowing the Emperor’s face except for his eyes.

68. I just. I love that the Empire is defeated by fucking teddy bears. I know a lot of people hate it, but it’s just- it feels so karmic. They’ve done such terrible things. And to be taken down by these fuzzy, little bastards. *chef’s kiss*

69. Palpatine hitting in that nerve that Luke has about his attachments. About his hope. Oof.

70. The entire Vader fight is just him trying not to see how much like Padme Luke is. That’s gotta hurt.

71. Bro. Vader. You do not want to try shit with Leia. Like. No. Fuck’s sake. Don’t try it. She’ll have all of you arrested and then executed.

72. Yes Luke. Thow away that lightsaber. Show that wrinky fuck who’s boss.

73. I love that Anakin gets to make the right choice here. He does what he didn’t do with Mace. He finally realizes all the lies...all the manipulation...that he can make things different. And he does. And it rightfully costs him his life.

74. Vader couldn’t survive. Vader would have been tried for his crimes and either executed or jailed for the rest of his life. The same thing happened to Ben Solo in the sequels. He had to die. Otherwise he’d have to have a real-world ending: Prison or execution.

75. I feel so sad that Anakin became this fucking horror show of a person. It didn’t have to be this way. Fuck.

76. “Tell your sister...you were right.”

77. Oh Han no. No no no.

78. No Han.

79. HAN.

80. Han’s face when he finds out Luke is Leia’s brother is hilarious.

81. I wish that Rex and Ahsoka had been there when Luke burned Anakin’s body. I feel like they needed to, for their own closure. And Luke would have felt like he had people who understood. Who loved and knew Anakin before all of this.

82. AND NOW WE PARTY!

83. Let’s eat Stormtrooper!

84. I am SO MAD that all of this will be undone by the sequel trilogy. Ugh.

85. I want them to refilm Hayden now that he’s just about the age Anakin would have been when he died as a Force ghost. I feel like that would be really nice.

*Kvell - Yiddish - to be bursting with pride

#Thinking about Star Wars #RoTJ

69 notes · View notes

sazzafraz · 3 years

Text

my pants no longer have coffee on them

nodus tollens!

Over time Sasuke learnt to tell by the smell. Ore meant a blood mutation. Licorice meant bone. Sweet ammonia meant parasites growing fat inside their hosts.

sasuke’s memories of orochimaru are very sensory. i wrote him as a sensory person. i think the whole uchiha ‘hearts too strong to break easy, and that’s a warning’ thing would make them worse at managing their basic five experiences.

Fuyuki shakes her head like a parent would, like Sasuke’s disgust is childish. “It’s an opportunity,” she says neutrally, “we have to make the most of them.” We don’t have the same means and opportunities as others, the silence says, we have to build from ruins and carnage. This is the right reason, boy. Even when it disgusts you. As if that makes doing something they’d kill someone else for doing right. Sasuke looks, and thinks, and looks again, and although he can understand it he can’t justify it.

oh man. at this point fuyuki pretty much knows she’s lost him. she is in fact saying shit to make him leave so she doesn’t have to make him while trying to jam common sense into his brain one last time. who knows if it takes.

“What?” He feels it. Warm, wary, growing distant. Before Yumi was ’kunoichi, dangerous, fun loving’ she now has a little box in his internal checklist that says ‘caution: complicit and unrepentant’.

yeah. this is the thought. oof. dude just wants to trust his friends.

She pats him lightly on the cheek, stepping back to give him some space. “You have my full and free permission to leave at any time. No member of Giri is forced to hold to an allegiance they feel no longer reflects their ideals.” With a wry smile she shakes her head reaching down to pull something from her pouch. “You always had an out.”

He watches her hand. “What’s that?”

“For services rendered.” With a deliberate showiness she flips the object in her hand -a scroll- and holds it out to him. He blinks at her, taking the scroll from her outstretched hand. It’s thin and blue tipped, the personal seal of the Godaime Hokage glows in the night. The future in his hand.

AGAIN. SHE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO LEAVE. THE POINT IS THAT YOU CAN LEAVE THE CYCLE nvrmind he’s not gonna get it for another 60,000 words.

Sasuke says nothing. The pardon is cold in his hands, shame rolling through his gut. Truth be told he never actually thought he’d get it. Truth be told he’d forgotten about it. There’s never an out, there’s never something given without something taken away. She was honest. She did say what she was going to do. She never offered a single promise. Betrayal is a reflexive emotion for him, though, and he still feels it like a punch. Leaving is a choice. One he has made more often than any other. Being let go of is something he isn’t used to.

woof. a long 60,000 words. still love that last line. fucks most verily.

Giri have flying ships.

never used this. very mad about it.

If extremely pressed Sasuke will admit that he picked Team Hebi based on a wild mix of comfort, usefulness and poorly placed boundaries. Orochimaru collected a bunch of weird traits and weirder expressions of trauma in the kids he lured to Oto; Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo are some of the best examples. Perfectly capable of respecting his needs and following his orders, completely incapable of acting like competent human beings the rest of the time.

oh thank god they’re weird. sasuke actually needs at least three to nine people around him at all times and has never not once thought about how developing his chakra sense in a compound full of other people might effect this. not even once.

Sasuke rolls his eyes, crosses his arms and clearly announces, “We won’t work together again after this.”

Karin and Suigetsu stop squabbling to turn to look at him.

Sasuke shrugs, “I’m going back to Konoha, Suigetsu is going to Kiri, Juugo will stay with Giri and Karin will go to Uzu.”

Karin sniffs delicately. “Back to Konoha?”

karin begins to plan konoha’s downfall. i envision karin as someone with a rather unique personal perspective. she is sasuke focused but its because she literally just thinks differently. i had a little bit for her that was about how uzumaki seals are literally a kind of meta-magic and thats why mito changed the game so much. to be able to use them effectively you have to be able to look at the world strangely. anyway. konoha will never recover from this.

In Oto there were war orphans, normal orphans, freed slaves, second or third generation missing-nin, the odds and ends of clans that had died off, those who had seen their entire families exterminated and those who did the exterminating. In Oto there was no safe dinner conversation.

Except, of course, for the food.

fucks. it fucks.

Juugo chuckles and waves him off. Sasuke is dead certain they’ll meet again. Maybe he’ll find them himself in a few years. He takes one last look behind him, sharingan on, and then leaves quickly and quietly. It’s not a bad snapshot to have. Karin has resorted to using her chains to manage Suigetsu, who is either helping the fire or taking the longest possible route to putting it out, Juugo is calling the small woodland animals and pets out of their homes. There’s an enterprising rabbit on his head. Suigetsu has one sword and Karin has the other. They’re all smiling.

favourite bit of favourite chapter. does not fuck. does gently cuddle and give glowing aftercare.

Walking is in itself a refreshing experience. For the first time in his life there’s nothing to rush to. It’s a free sky: so high, so blue. So filled with things that he’s never seen before. He flicks his sharingan on and off. At sunset the sky fills with the lush pink and orange of change. At night the stars are so bright it feels like he’s counting the freckles on some great dragon’s back. At dawn he lies in the grass and lets the light wake him. He takes a long path winding his way down and around to his birthplace. He has one goal left, one last thing to do before it’s all done and he never thought he’d get this far. There is so little between him and the freedom to finally, finally put this all to rest.

So for the first time he lets himself linger.

The stars lead him into the mouth of a valley, green and bright with flowers. He doesn’t put people to places very often. People are memories. He sees them clearly enough. But he’ll cast a look onto the calm water and think Juugo, onto the high point of a knife and think Yumi, onto the twisting branches of an out of place blooming flower and think Sakura. In darker moments he names the other things. A tree changing out of season, riddled with the beautiful but deadly rings of a strangling vine earns Orochimaru. Just as a black expanse that appears in the middle of night is called father. Just as the ephemeral falling of flowers, the scent, is mother.

The clear sky is called Naruto. The fading mist of dawn is called Brother.

sometimes you’ve just gotta let the prose happen. and then make it sad at the end. i wrote paragraphs about naruto and itachi here and deleted it because haha sasuke WILL NOT THINK ABOUT IT like hes not really thinking about his suicidal ideation. i did recieve more than one comment that was like ‘......wait he wants to kill himself?’ haha! yeah! body made for one thing! he has yet to decide a man is allowed to have multiple life purposes.

“Please,” the woman begs, “please, my child. Take her. Please.”

this is not JUST about how much sasuke would like to save children its just MOSTLY about sasuke being the only one around to do it, and hinata. eventually.

“Sasuke.” Kakashi says.

“Sensei.” Sasuke says automatically. “Hatake. Hatake Kak-”

kakashi, heart in his throat, thinking today is the day he has to kill his sort of son and lose the rest in the grieving: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Sasuke scowls and shakes his head, looking down at the bundle in his arms. “This is a goddamn baby Hatake.” Then, softer, “It’s a baby. I have to take it somewhere safe.”

kakashi, soothed by the pardon, worried about all of that: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby he is EMOTIONAL about: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Fuyuki is still radiating smugness as she lets them out. She plucks the baby from his arms, tucking it into hers. Sasuke almost groans, Kakashi is approaching a sulk at break neck speed. As he crosses the threshold of her home Fuyuki grabs him by the end of his hair and yanks, “Oh, Uchiha?”

Sasuke scowls as he pulls out of her hold. “Fucking what Hashira?”

She smiles, baby stuffing the length of her hair in it’s mouth. Sasuke looks at them both and feels an odd sense of accomplishment. Fuyuki mimes a scissoring action. “Cut your hair.”

i’m not going to do the first chapter but this. absolutely. slams. sasuke’s hair is so important but the hair thing was a specific thing about honor and service. about the redemption that a lot of missing nin feel in giri, the longer their hair the more they’ve done to repent. even if sasuke never quite gets it he actually doesn’t cut his hair until after this.and its not by much.

#the author is present #ntfs

3 notes · View notes

nataliedanovelist · 3 years

Text

GF - How A Star Is Born ch.V

A Hercules AU, founded by @evaroze, whom this fic is a gift for. I hope y’all like it!

ch.IV - ch.VI

AO3 link

~~~~~~~~~~

Years went by. Both Dipper and Mabel went through vigorous training under their uncles’ supervision. After allowing Mabel to visit the world, Stanford had combat training be added to her lessons so, if needed, she could defend herself. Now a master of duel swords and a brand new goddess of the arts, Mabel spent her days inspiring humans, helping to keep Olympus beautiful and safe, and exploring the woods throughout Greece.

She also spent a lot of time talking to Dipper. At least once a week he would sit at night and draw in his journal to talk to his sister, swapping stories and inspiring each other to learn and grow.

Dipper was no longer a scrawny little boy, but a strong, muscular, clever young man of seventeen. Stan had never been more proud in his entire life, boxing with the kid and having him go through trials and tests and watching him grow up. He even managed to teach Dipper a few swears.

Stan coughed into his fist, standing at the end of the most difficult obstacle course Dipper had ever been set to. He grinned as Dipper emerged from shark-infested waters, blazing hoops, electric spikes, and racist homophobes, without a scratch on him, and Stan and Dipper high-hived and cheered and celebrated.

“You did it, kid! You were great!”

“Thanks, I couldn’t have done without you.” Dipper said with a smile.

“Obviously.” Stan smirked, earning him a soft punch in the beer belly. “Oof! Okay, okay. You go pack up, ya gremlin. We’re going to Thebes!”

“Isn’t that place, like, the worst place in Greece?” Dipper asked as they headed back to the Mystery Shack.

“You got it, you’ll be just what the doctor ordered.” Stan explained. “Young hero like you can help a lot of people in an Underworld-hole like that. Great place to start out. If you can make it at the Big Olive, you can make it anywhere.”

The men set sail before the sun rose the next morning. For some odd reason, Stan locked up the shack in a way that made it seem like they were never coming back, but Dipper assumed it was only because Stan believed that Dipper could make it big. The young man smiled, determined not to let his teacher down, and made sure they were on the right track.

After sailing across the ocean for a few hours, they floated into a river that traveled along the woods, taking a shortcut for Thebes rather than travel through the sea for Greece. Stan was resting in a chair with a cold drink in his hand, letting Dipper sail for a while, when they heard a scream.

The old man shot up and grinned. “Perfect! A damsel in distress! Good warm-up before we hit down. Lower the anchor here.”

Dipper did as he was told and they crept down the river for the waterfall, where they saw a young lady stumble away, groaning and growling in her throat.

The girl had long, beautiful blonde hair and stunning blue eyes that crackled like raging fire, wearing a long baby-blue dress. She hurried to her feet but was soon scooped up by the enemy that came around the river bend.

A huge Manotaur with a toga around his waist was so huge he grabbed the woman in his fist around the waist. “Not so fast, sweetheart.” He growled.

“Put me down right now, Chutzpah, or I’ll…!” The woman threw a punch at the monster, but he held her away and laughed.

“I like ‘em fiery!”

“HEY!” Dipper yelled from the riverbank and stomped on the river, leaving Stan in the bushes to munch on some popcorn.

“My money’s on Hooves.”

The girl and Chutzpah stared at the newcomer and the monster growled, “Beat it, twerp, I’m busy.”

“Sorry, mister, but you’re gonna let her go, or…”

“Keep moving, junior.” The girl sneered.

“... or I’ll…” Dipper’s sentence dropped and shattered. “But aren’t you… er, a damsel in distress?”

“I’m a damsel.” The woman said as she tried to pull herself free from the giant fist. “I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.” She said with a sly grin with cold blue eyes.

Dipper swallowed and cleared his throat, reaching for his sword. “Uh, ma’am, I think you might be too close to this situation to realize your…” But the Manotaur punched him with so much force that Dipper flew onto a big boulder on the other side of the river.

Stan winced while Chutzpah laughed and the damsel looked bored. “C’mon kid, shake it off!” The old man coached.

Dipper charged, leaving his sword behind, and started to toss left and right hooks back and forth and landing, making the monster dizzy, and then used his head to hit him so hard it was his turn to fly back onto a hard surface, landing behind the waterfall and dropping the girl in the process.

“YES! That’s what I’m talking about, sport! Keep it up!”

“UGH!”

Dipper looked down at the wet girl and gently scooped her up out of the river to sit on a rock. “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. That was dumb… Excuse me, please.” And he and Chutzpah resumed their battle, the demigod using his strength to throw the Manotaur over his shoulder and putting him in a head-lock.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan chanted while the girl rang her hair dry, a smirk on her face.

“Not bad, not bad.”

“What are you talking about, he’s great!” Stan cheered. “Throw him a left! Atta boy!”

With one final punch, Dipper made Chutzpah the Manotaur fly up in the air and then come back crashing down face first in the water, a shiny bruise on his snooze button.

“Alright! Nice work!” Stan coached. “You could’ve gone without the distraction from a pair of big goo-goo eyes, but good recovery! Alright, let’s hit the water and move on.” And he walked off for the boat.

But once again, Dipper was distracted. The woman was rubbing her arms dry and sliding off the rock to stand, stretching her slender back; Dipper’s face felt hot and his whole body felt like it wasn’t even there. “Uh… are you alright, miss…?”

“Pacifica.” The girl said with a voice that dripped with sarcasm, like she believed she had better things to do than be standing here and talking to him, but she didn’t know what. “I’m fine. Thanks for the save. So, you got a name to go with all those rippling pectorals?”

“Uh… um, ah… I’m uh… uh…”

“Don’t speak Greek or something?”

“Dipper!” The man cleared his throat and answered in a calmer tone. “M-My name is Dipper. How did you get mixed up with the…”

“Knucklehead with hooves?” Pacifica finished for him. “Ah, you know how men are. They all think ‘no’ means ‘yes,’ and ‘get lost’ means ‘take me, I’m yours.’ Well, thanks for everything, Dip. Bye-bye.” And Pacifica began to walk away.

“Wait!” Dipper called out quickly, a reflex of seeing someone beautiful and cool-headed going away, and he offered sheepishly, “Uh, c-c-can I give you a ride on my boat, erm, me and Stan’s boat?”

“I’m fine,” Pacifica giggled coldly. “I’m a big tough girl, I tie my own sandals and everything. I can look after myself. See ya, Dippin’ Dots.” And Dipper watched as she disappeared beneath a hill.

“Uh… bye.” Dipper said weakly, clumsy on his feet as Stan sailed their small boat behind him, going down the river for Thebes.

“OY! Knucklehead! We going or what?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… yeah…”

Dipper pulled himself on board, smiling with his head in the clouds. Stan sighed and shook his head, muttering, “Twitterpated.”

As Pacifica walked further and further into the woods, the atmosphere got darker and darker. The young lady walked as coldly as the air, unafraid and all too familiar with who was approaching her. When a huge gust of blue fire erupted from the Earth and a floating triangle appeared before the teenage girl, she rolled her eyes and sneered, “Great, I needed cheddar for dinner.”

Bill cackled as he held his three-sided body and kicked his legs in the air. “Oh, my little Llama. Care to explain what exactly happened?” He made a chess board appear before him with various pieces of monsters and anomalies on the board. “I thought you were gonna persuade the River Guardian to join my team for the uprising and, here I am, kinda River Guardian-less.”

“I gave it my best shot,” Pacifica said coldly as she flicked Chutzpah off the board. “But he made an offer I had to refuse.”

“Okay, fine,” Bill replied as he made the board disappear, closing it like a book. “Instead of taking two year from your lifetime sentence, Imma add two on, okay? You got your best shot?”

Pacifica groaned and walked away, leaning against a dead tree. “Look, it wasn’t my fault, okay. It was this Wonderboy who beat your Manotaur up.”

“Wonderboy?” Bill repeated.

“Some new hero who came with this big innocent farm-boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.” Pacifica said with a cold snap of her fingers.

“New hero, huh?” Bill said, a hand to what might have been his chin but was really just under his eye. “If some new guy is beating up my minions it could weaken our chances of over-throwing Sixer…” The demon stopped his talking when he heard a voice. He swooped Pacifica up into the trees as a dark cloud, just in time to hide from the intruder.

Mabel was running through the woods with a pig at her feet. He had grown quite large since the young muse had met the pig, and now they both ran as fast as they could, but the teenage girl made it to a tree first, planting a hand on it, making the dead tree sprout leaves with life, and she jumped and cheered and punched the air. “That’s twenty-two for me… How about twenty-two out of forty-five?” She asked Waddles.

The big tired pig flopped over and showed his belly lazily. Mabel awed and fell to her knees to scratch him. “Aw, you’re just a big dummy-dumb. C’mon, why don’t we go see if Grunkle Ford is too busy to hang out. This Mabel’s gotta have some family time.” And she picked up her pet pig and skipped back home.

Bill plunged back onto the ground, dropping Pacifica, who sat on a rock boringly, as Bill glowed red with fire and yelled loudly, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” And soon every tree circling them was no more.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Who’s a cute lil guy? You are!” Gideon said into his hand mirror, sitting at the front desk of the Underworld.

The huge doors flew open as Bill, still red and fiery with anger, entered and grew to the size of a giant before his minion. “YOU SAID YOU TOOK CARE OF THE TWINS!”

“The what now?” Gideon asked calmly.

Bill towered down at the white-haired chubby teenager and bellowed, “Sixer’s brats! The ones destined to stop me from ruling this dimension! You said they were dead as doornails! But the girl is still alive!”

“Yeah, so?” Gideon asked. “The prophecy said both twins had to be there for you to lose. There’s only one. So there. And besides it took you seventeen years to realize Stanford was still dotting on his niece. If anything you suck at keeping up with your own prey.”

Bill shrunk down, shaking with anger and still red, but he had to admit that the jerk was right. “Fine, but the boy, Mason, is dead, right?”

“More or less.”

“”WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE OR LESS?!”

“He will be when the mortal world is done with him.” Gideon sneered with a crooked smile. “That scrawny twerp doesn’t stand a chance in Thebes.”

“And you know all of this HOW?!”

“It’s fun watching him struggle and lose.” Gideon admitted with a shrug.

“I’m not taking any chances!” Bill yelled and floated away. “We’ve got one year until I can free my friends and take over this dimension! Since I can’t curse Shooting Star into a mortal, I can still kill Pinetree.”

“I’m telling you,” Gideon said, following his boss. “That loser doesn’t stand a chance. I know just who to send to kill him.”

And Bill’s anger melted away as he listened to his minion’s plan and helped make it better.

#GF #gravity falls au #fanfiction #hercules #dipper pines #mabel pines #stan pines #pacifica northwest #bill cipher #hope you like it!!!#gift

17 notes · View notes

sigurdjarlson · 4 years

Note

Heacanons for Jaskier?

1) Stronger than he looks. Not nearly as strong as Geralt (very few people are) but he can pack a punch if he has too. He’s quicker than he is strong. He’s always had to be fast. (Gotta escape all those vengeful spouses coming after him for sleeping with their husband/wife)

2) Really does have elven blood. He has no idea but there is some, somewhere in his family tree. It’s why he doesn’t seem to age like a normal human. He won’t live as long as a full blooded elf but significantly longer than a regular human. He gets frequently mistaken as an elf or half-elf but the doofus never stopped to think there might be a reason for that.

3) Praise Kink. He loves to be told how pretty he is and how good he is. He’s so very hungry for validation, for love. He absolutely preens when he’s praised. He loves to please. (Still a huge brat sometimes though ;) )

4) His vanity and peacocking is a front, he’s got really terrible self worth issues. He’s deeply lonely and just wants a genuine, deep connection with someone (he found it..and now he’s lost it oof)

5) loves birds. Maybe it’s their shared affinity for song and making noise but he loves to whistle or mimic their chirps and hear them do it back. It’s cute. He was absolutely over the moon the first time he met a bird that could mimic speech and sounds.

6) True to his name He likes dandelions. Most people don’t usually like them though, they call them annoying weeds and try to get rid of them. Pests they call them. But they’re beautiful anyway and persist despite it all He likes that about them. He picks them and puts them in his hair sometimes

7) (tw: abuse) On the wiki it says in the books that Geralt said “they beat literacy into him with a cane” at the temple school he went to when he was kid :/ so I headcanon him having some issues in regards to that as well. (Gah I can imagine that after he finds out about it, geralt feels awful when he remembers punching him in the stomach. Jaskier just shrugs and says it’s no big deal. He’s had worse and somehow that just makes Geralt feel..well, even worse)

8) he’s popular among the Witchers, he has done wonders for their reputation after all. Also they just like interacting with someone who doesn’t reek of fear and disgust at the sight of them. He treats them like people not monsters. How can they not adore the annoying little bard who sings songs about Witchers the way people sing songs about knights and princes?

Geralt isn’t particularly happy about the way some of them look at his bard. He’s not sure why but..he doesn’t like it.

9) he can be irritating to some people but for the most part people gravitate towards him. He’s so cheerful, charismatic and just so..Jaskier. Children love him especially and he’s great with them. Even animals love him. It didn’t take long for Roach to grow to like him and Geralt was like :0 ... <3

10) (tw: homophobia/biphobia mention) he does get shit for being bi and being more “feminine” sometimes but he takes in stride. Or tries to. Although suddenly people didn’t seem to mess with him as much when Geralt came into his life. Having a big snarling Witcher next to him is quite the deterrent. (His Witcher doesn’t take kindly to bigots and he especially doesn’t take kindly to bigots picking on his bard)

#asks #geraskier

129 notes · View notes

is0gild · 4 years

Text

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 24

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,564

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

When I awoke, Mother was gone. It made sense, seeing as how daylight was streaming in through the bedroom window now and I could hardly have expected her to stay all night with me. She'd probably left not too long after I'd nodded off.

Part of me wondered if she had ever really been there in the first place or if I had simply dreamed the whole thing up. It'd all just been so weird. Mother hadn't been that… well, motherly towards me in over a decade. It was a long lost part of our relationship that I'd dearly missed, so I wouldn't have put it past my subconscious mind to cook something like that up while I was dreaming especially now that I was back in my childhood bedroom where such old memories could be sparked. But no, I was still in my dress I'd worn for dinner yesterday evening and I wouldn't have gone to bed without changing first, not unless Mother had actually been here.

But that still begged the question: why her sudden and unexpected change in behavior after all this time?

Maybe… it had something to do with the wedding? Maybe me running out on it and disappearing for weeks without a word had taken its toll on her even more so than I'd ever realized? If so, then her little visit last night had probably just been a… a moment of weakness, and a fleeting one at that. Why else would she have waited until we were away from Father's and Grandfather's prying eyes? Once we were back around them, not to mention the rest of the family, her usual mask would probably be firmly back in place again. She would be prim and proper, cold and reserved, just like she'd been for years now and it would be like those precious few moments last night had never happened.

...or maybe I was being overly pessimistic. Maybe now I had an ally in Mother where I'd previously thought to have had none. Maybe The Talk™ tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as I feared, not if I had her and Anna on my side.

But honestly, who knew? Who ever knew anything really when it came to my family? I certainly didn't. Not anymore. Not for a long time.

All I could do was wait and see and hope the anxiety didn't murder me in the meantime.

I climbed out of bed, grimacing at my reflection in the vanity mirror, at what a rumpled mess my dress had become overnight. This was the second time this week I'd slept in a garment that wasn't meant to be slept in. This was dangerously on the verge of forming into a habit. I really needed to stop. Sighing, I started walking towards my luggage so I could dig out something fresh to wear. However, I was halted in my tracks by a knock at my door.

I hesitated in answering it, giving my appearance another once over in the mirror.

This time, my reflection responded with a wrinkle of her nose.

Ugh, everyone's a critic.

Ah well, there was nothing for it. No amount of hand smoothing would make this dress fit to be seen and I wasn't about to make whoever it was wait for me to change. Tossing my frazzled braid back over my shoulder, I moved towards the door and opened it just wide enough for me to poke a head out.

"Mornin', El!" Lea beamed down at me, looking far more presentable than I on day two of his whole rebel-without-a-cause aesthetic he had going on.

I smiled back with a soft, "Good morning."

Dipping into a bow, he swept a hand out to one side, "I've come to escort thee to breakfast forthwith, m'lady."

"My my, we'll make a gentleman out of you yet," I hummed a chuckle.

He scoffed with a big theatrical sniff. "My word, I say, perish the fucking thought!"

"Shoot, you were this close," I snorted with a shake of my head. "Just give me a quick minute to change."

Before I could shut the door however, he stopped me with his hand lightly snagging mine. "But why? You already look as gorgeous as ever this morning."

I stubbornly ignored the tiny flutter I felt inside my ribcage. Didn't he realize it was a bit silly to be pulling the whole googly-eyed boyfriend routine when it was just the two of us? Maybe he was just getting into character early before we went down into the dining room. I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah, gorgeous enough to make Mother pale, Father choke, and Grandfather faint."

Smirking, Lea said, "All I'm hearing are a ton of pros and a whole lotta nada for the cons column."

My eyelids drooped but before I could reply, there was a sudden shout from down the hall, "Ah-ha! There you are!" A blur zoomed towards us, attaching itself to Lea's arm.

Or rather, herself, seeing as how it was Anna.

So… the prodigal sister had at last graced me with her presence.

"I thought I might find you here," she grinned up at Lea, who just blinked down at her in response. Then she directed that grin my way, "Hi, Sis! Bye, Sis! Alright, big guy, let's go!" She charged off once more, dragging Lea with her. Or rather… she tried to anyway. But I imagine Lea could be quite the anchor when he didn't want to move, so instead the hold she had on his elbow ended up snapping her back like a rubberband.

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's the rush, Anna?"

"Yeah, short stuff, where's the fire?" Lea asked.

"We gotta get you ready!" Again, she gave another tug of his arm.

Again, he didn't budge. "For…?"

"For a beautiful day out on the water," she stated as if it were obvious. We both stared at her blankly and she huffed. "We're going yachting!"

Both eyebrows shot up Lea's forehead. "We? As in you and me?"

"And Elsa," she added, stomping over to Lea's other side and pressing her shoulder into his arm, trying to shove him into moving. It was kind of like watching a chihuahua attempt to out muscle a great dane. Just as effective too. Panting from the exertion, she tacked on, "And Maren and Ryder too."

"Oh, okay," Lea nodded, then frowned. "...and Maren and Ryder would be?"

"Our cousins," I said before furrowing my brow at Anna. "Wait, they're here? Since when?"

"Since an hour ago," she grunted, still pushing all her weight against Lea and getting nowhere, her feet sliding and scraping against the carpet. "Auntie Yelena showed up early with them. Now Mom and Dad want to shoo us young'uns out of the house so we won't be in the way while this whole place is turned upside down by party prep chaos. So," she paused, red-faced and puffing for breath before brightening, "figured we could take Daddy's yacht out for a lil spin!"

Lea cocked his head, "Still don't get why you're trying t- oof, hey now!" David (aka Anna) had managed to catch Goliath (aka Lea) off guard by ramming her shoulder into his side, forcing him to stagger a step. "-why you're trynta kidnap me," he finished in a grumble.

Stepping back from him, she crossed her arms and fixed him with a dull stare. "...did you pack swim shorts?"

"Well no, but I didn't know we were gonna-"

"Exactly!" she cried triumphantly, latching onto his elbow once more. "So we're gonna go borrow you some from Ryder!"

"You coulda just said that in the firs-" his words were swallowed in a yelp as she suddenly bolted, this time managing to haul Lea tripping and stumbling behind her.

"Be ready to go in fifteen minutes, Sis! Meet us in the driveway! See ya there!" Anna's voice echoed down the corridor back towards me in their wake.

I called after her, "But breakfast-"

"We'll pick something up on the way!"

...she was still acting so very strange.

Sure, she was always a ball of energy, but normally she'd let me talk more than that before making a break for it. It'd almost felt like she couldn't get away from me fast enough. I knew she'd been in a hurry, but getting Lea seaworthy hardly called for the state of emergency she was making it out to be.

Now more than ever, I was determined to get to the bottom of her odd behavior. Luckily for me, Anna had slipped up and made the error of trapping us on a boat together for the next several hours. And even if said boat was a yacht, there still weren't exactly a lot of places for her to hide from me on it.

She couldn't possibly keep avoiding me there.

My mistake.

Anna very well could keep avoiding me here and in fact had been doing so successfully for the past hour. It was not a matter of whether or not she had places to hide so much as she just never seemed to stay still for more than ten seconds. She'd always kind of been the cartoon Tasmanian Devil given human form, but now she was that on friggin' steroids. Just a constant whirl of chaos that was always on the move.

"I'm flying, Jack!"

Then, of course, there was the fact that I had to put up with this dork.

I hung my head with a sigh from my position behind Lea, my hands gingerly holding his hips as he stood proudly at the bow of the yacht with his arms spread out wide to either side of him. "You know, this wasn't exactly what I had pictured when you said you wanted to reenact that one scene from Titanic."

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a toothy grin. "You wanna swapsies? I can let you be Rose for a bit!"

"...I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself! You're seriously missing out though," he shrugged, stepping down off the raised rim of the boat and onto the cushioned bench seating, using it like a staircase to get himself to the floor. The salty breeze played with his shirt on his way down - a very loose short-sleeved button-up that only had one button fastened in the middle, so peeks at his muscled torso were not uncommon and could be rather, hrm… distracting. The swim trunks he'd borrowed from my cousin were just shy of his knees and were a deep red with black silhouettes like palm trees at sunset.

His flip-flops hit the deck and he spun around, offering me a hand to help me down as well. Smiling my thanks, I gripped the wide brim of my beach hat with one hand while the other took his. My strappy sandals landed on the hardwood beside him, careful not to step on the hem of my long, strapless cover-up dress made of a thin, billowy white fabric that barely hinted at the blue two-piece I wore underneath it. It was a beachwear ensemble I'd left behind at my parents' home years ago. A good thing too since like Lea, I hadn't exactly planned for a yacht outing when packing my bags for this weekend.

"So," Lea chirped as he released my hand, "now that we've gotten that important and thoroughly pressing bit o' business outta the way, what's next on our lil agenda?"

My lips pursed to one side before I decided, "Let's try and find Anna."

Though there was really no try about it. Finding her wasn't the hard part. Getting her to stay and actually talk to me was. Still, I was on a mission!

Mission Make Anna Open Up About Whatever The Heck Her Problem With Me Is.

...I really needed to get better at naming these things.

As I turned to give a quick glance around the yacht, first person I spotted was Maren - short for Honeymaren, but she hated the name with a bloody passion and did her best to bury that info in the hopes that it would never again see the light of day. She stood not far off next to the ship's mini bar under the shade of the awning. Her dark hair was pulled back into a braid and she was sporting a purple swimsuit with a matching sarong.

The thing that stood out most however were the cheap, plastic star-shaped sunglasses currently perched on the bridge of her nose. They were particularly eye catching given that, one, she hadn't had them on a moment ago and, two, they were probably just about the last things one would expect to see her wearing. She seemed just as surprised to discover them on her face as I was, given the way she removed and squinted at them with a bemused smirk.

I could hear Lea's flip-flopping footsteps following behind me as I walked towards her. Arching an eyebrow, I pointed at the things, "Where'd those come from?"

"Ask Lil Miss Sunglasses Fairy over there," she laughed, popping them back on before jerking a thumb over her shoulder towards the helm. There Ryder stood manning the steering wheel in his yellow, turtle-print trunks, the sunlight gleaming off his short black hair. It looked like he too had recently received a visit from this so-called Sunglasses Fairy, for he was now (quite bewilderedly) modeling a pair of shades with big, cartoony red lips for frames.

Ah, and here the Sunglasses Fairy herself came now, her auburn pigtail braids flapping wildly about as she skipped towards us in her bright green bikini and boyshorts. Not to be left out of the latest fashion trend of her own making, Anna had on a pair herself shaped like flowers. And in her hands were-

"For you, oh dearest Sis of mine, I've saved the best for last!" she happily declared, sliding the shades with neon pink heart lenses onto my nose.

Joy.

Lea looked down at me and snerked, biting back a grin.

Boy didn't know how close he was to getting his arm pinched for such impudence.

Anna gave a small pout, "Sorry, Lea, but I only have four."

"No problemo. El and I can just share," he chuckled, stealing mine and donning them himself, waggling his eyebrows at me as he leaned back and propped his elbows against the boat railing.

Ugh, I wasn't sure what was more annoying: that he actually looked pretty good in them or the fact that he knew it and was being smug about it.

"Charming," I deadpanned before looking back at Anna. "Where'd you even get these silly things from?"

"Oh, I bought them all ages ago from one of those shack shops by the dock," she tossed a hand back towards the shoreline. "I've been keeping them hidden away for a special occasion."

My head tipped to one side. "...and that special occasion would be?"

She tapped a finger to her chin, "Hmm… Ah! National Fun In The Sun Day, of course!"

I gave her a flat look. "That is neither national nor an actual holiday."

"Is too!" Her chest puffed up as she planted her fists on her hips, "I'm the captain of this here dinghy and what the captain says, goes!"

"You can't just make up holidays, that's not how captains work," I crossed my arms.

"Yeah-huh! I'm the captain and I say so!"

"But-" I stopped myself, pinching the bridge of my nose. Just let it go, Elsa, otherwise we'll just keep going around in circles like this all day. "Nevermind. I was hoping, Captain, that maybe you and I could have a minute to-"

"Move over, Ryder! It's my turn to steer!"

Annnnd off she zipped again.

I had half a mind to chase after her but with the way things were going, I feared she might swan dive off the side of the yacht just to get away from me.

"What's wrong, El?" Lea frowned before taking off the heart shades and offering them to me. "Want these back? I hear rose-colored glasses make everything better."

I mustered a weak smile at that, arms hugging myself as I leaned back against the metal rail beside him and muttered, "Thanks but no thanks."

Perching the sunglasses atop his head now, he asked, "Seriously, why the long face?"

"...it's Anna," I grimaced, reaching for a tendril of my ponytail to twist between my fingers as I watched Ryder join his sister at the mini bar. They were just barely out of earshot so I couldn't hear whatever they were laughing and shaking their heads over. "She's mad at me or… something, I don't know. All I know is she won't talk to me, not really. Every time I try, something always comes up and she runs off."

Lea glanced towards where Anna stood valiantly at the helm, one hand holding the steering wheel steady while the other shielded her eyes against the sun. "Huh… now that ya mention it, it does seem like she's been avoiding you, doesn't it?"

"You've noticed it too?" So it wasn't all just in my head. Not sure if that made me feel better or worse.

"Maybe a lil," he nodded. Pushing himself off the rail, he turned to stand in front of me now. "But mad? Nah, I don't think so. She seems far too chipper for that." Lea rubbed a curled finger to his chin, "Maybe she's actually sad about something but doesn't wanna worry you so is just… trying to put on a brave front? Or she could have something important she wants to talk to you about but is too scared?"

"But that's ridiculous, Anna knows she can always talk to me about anyth-"

"Hard to starboard!" came a sudden shout from my sister before she jerked the wheel into a spin.

The yacht whipped around in a sharp turn, throwing Lea into a stumble towards me. I gasped, bringing up a hand to stop him while turning my head away and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for impact.

But it never came.

Cracking open one eyelid then the other, I discovered he'd managed to catch himself by grabbing the railing to either side of me.

"Whew!" he grinned, looming mere inches over me, "That was close!"

...wait… my hand was still raised… and touching… something…

I slowly, reluctantly lowered my gaze towards it.

Only to have my face all but burst into flames and practically blast steam out of my ears.

For behold! There, my hand, in all its brazen glory, had found its way into Lea's unbuttoned shirt and that was without a doubt a big, heaping helping of man boob it was groping right now.

...very nice, delightfully sculpted man boob. Firm yet… soft, somehow? No, soft wasn't the right word… ah, supple! Yes, that was what I-

Now was not the time to be debating word choice!

Not while my friggin' hand was still on his bare friggin' chest.

Gah, what was wrong with me?! I really needed to stop sexually harassing the guy who had zero interest in dating at the moment!

Okay, remain calm, Elsa. Maybe he hasn't even noticed it yet. Maybe if I just discreetly removed it, he'd never even have to know it'd been there in the first place. Alright, easy does it… careful now, just take it one small step at a time… first lift the palm off… okay, good! Now the thumb… perfect. And up goes the pinky… then the next one… and the next… just the index finger to go-

Oh. My. God. Did I just goddamn trail my fingertip down his skin?! Pretty sure I'd trailed it. No, not trailed, I'd caressed! Caressed! Great. Just dandy! If he hadn't realized where my hand was before, he sure as hell knew now!

My eyes shifted about desperately.

Oh, this was uncomfortable. Quick! Do something to make it less awkward!

I looked him dead in the eye, brought up my hand and poked him in the nose with a tiny, "Boop!"

Nailed it.

Lea blinked. Then he gave a little snort, one corner of his lips curling up. "What was that?"

A clever and artful distraction, duh. One that was clearly working too, so ha!

"What do you mean, what was that?" I mumbled, hitching my chin and averting my gaze. "It was a nose boop, what else?"

His grin twitched wider. "Well, yeah, I could see that. What I meant was why?"

I couldn't help but notice he was still really close. That he still hadn't let go of the railing yet, keeping me trapped between his body and it. Clearing my throat, I said defensively, "You just have a very… boopable nose, is all."

"...is that so?" he murmured, eyes crinkling as he pressed his forehead to mine.

Dear lord, his rent-a-boyfriend act would be the death of me.

"Yo! Elsa!"

Thank goodness! Cousins to the rescue!

Closing his eyes, Lea exhaled softly before spinning around and shifting over to rest back against the steel rails beside me once more just as the two of them approached us. "Is it true?" Ryder asked excitedly, eyes bright behind the lip-glasses he'd yet to take off as he stirred his mimosa. "Do you really sell mall ice cream now?"

I winced slightly. "Oh… you know about that?"

"Avast ye landlubbers!" Anna's voice rang out again as she continued to pilot the yacht. "Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!"

"You kidding?" Maren snerked, taking a sip of her bloody mary and ignoring my sister. "Once the Duke found out, the whole family found out. You know how that old coot loves to run his mouth to anyone who'll listen."

"So it is true!" Ryder beamed. "At an Ice Palace, right? The place with that kickass reindeer mascot?"

"Um…" I furrowed my brow. He seemed oddly enthusiastic about this. "...yes?"

He pumped a fist, "Awesome! Love the place! Their ice cream is so good and all their commercials are hilarious! Have you seen their new one with all the reindeer singing a frigging rock ballad?"

Even with the star-shades, Maren's eye roll was plain as day. "You and your strange obsession with reindeer."

"What? They're cute!"

"Whatever, I just can't with you right now," she held up a hand in his face as she took a sip from her drink, looking at me again. "Seriously though, you ran out on your wedding, on your whole sweet cushy life… just so you could sell ice cream?"

"Land ho! Thar she blows!" Anna again.

Holding onto my hat so it wouldn't blow away as the wind picked up, I frowned. "Well… that wasn't exactly why I left…"

"But that's what you did," she insisted, eyebrows lifting with her tiny grin. "Do you even know about all the chaos that erupted after you turned up missing?"

I swallowed hard. I could feel Lea's fingers fiddling with a lock of my ponytail, but I hardly noticed it as I bit down on my bottom lip and shook my head. "Was it bad?"

"Aw man, the whole place went nuts after you pulled your vanishing act! You shoulda been there!" Ryder laughed before squinting skyward. "Although… I guess if you had been there, none of it would have happened." He shrugged, taking a big swig of his mimosa. "Anyway, it was wild! Our family was yelling, his family was yelling, a flower girl was bawling, the giant ice swan sculpture got knocked over and shattered into a bajillion pieces, a bridesmaid punched a groomsman, the-"

"Wait," I interrupted him, my eyebrows knit together as my gaze shifted over to Maren. Besides Anna, who'd been my maid of honor… "Weren't you my only bridesmaid?"

She smirked, lazily lifting a shoulder before letting it fall. "What can I say? I live for anarchy."

"Batten down the hatches! Swab the deck or it's straight to Davy Jones' locker with the lot of you!" It seemed Anna was really getting into character now.

"The butterflies," Ryder eagerly jumped back into the conversation right where he'd left off, "were released on accident at the same time the doves somehow got free as well and, oh man, the carnage! It was epic!"

My hands were fidgeting with each other. I had no idea when they'd started. My chest was beginning to burn and constrict.

"I still can't believe it," Maren wrinkled her nose in glee, chewing on her straw. "You ditching a guy at the altar. You, of all people. You've always been such a goody-goody. So well-behaved, so polite, so disgustingly perfect. Just goes to show you, I guess… it's always the sweet, innocent, quiet ones who'll surprise you."

Fidget, fidget, fidget.

It was getting harder to breathe.

"A total bloodbath!" Ryder was still going. "I mean, did you even know doves ate butterflies? Cuz I didn't! But those poor little guys never even stood a chance! Tiny insect guts were flying everywhere! Seriously... Best. Wedding. Ever."

"Heh-hey!" Lea suddenly piped up. "Are all these swimsuits just for show or we gonna," he clicked his tongue, jerking a thumb towards the water, "dive on in?"

He was taking the attention off me. I shot him a grateful if somewhat shaky smile. His arm slipped around my shoulders, giving them a small, reassuring squeeze as he rested his cheek against my hair.

"Please," Maren sniggered, "like we'd actually swim in the lake."

"Watch and learn, dude," Ryder grinned as he moved over to the plush seating that circled the edge of the ship's bow and pushed a button on a panel behind its backrest. The massive, seemingly decorative circle that was etched into the center of the foredeck began to hum and slide under the rest of the floor, revealing the hot tub underneath. Striking up a finger, Ryder then pushed a second button, this one turning on the jets.

"Ooo," Lea nodded in appreciation, "a jacuzzi that appears as if by magic. My my, how the other half lives." Then he huffed out a snort through his nose, "Leave it to the rich to find a way to take a soak in the middle of a lake without actually having to get in the lake."

Ryder scrunched up his face, "Lake water's gross."

Pointing at the hot tub, Lea said, "You do realize the more people get in that thing, the more it's just a boiling vat of human juices, right?"

"Thanks for that," Maren gave a mock gag before tossing her chin towards the edge of the boat. "What're you waiting for then? Lake's right there and all yours, Stretch."

"No thanks," leaving my side, Lea walked over to the ledge of the jacuzzi to dip a toe in. "Bring on the person stew! 'Sides, not every day I get to hop into a yacht hot tub. Wouldn't wanna miss out."

Setting his now empty glass down, Ryder said, "Not every day you get to steer the yacht either. Whaddya say, my man, want to give it a go?" He pointed towards the helm.

As if on cue, Anna bellowed, "Ready the cannons, ye scallywags, lest we be dead in the water!"

Lea gave me a quick glance and I shrugged. He scratched the back of his head, "Uh… sure! Why not? Be right back, boo!" He planted a swift peck to my forehead before transferring his pink sunglasses back to my nose. "If ya need me, just shoot me the heart-eyes with these and me n' my boopable nose'll come running."

I huffed and shoved his shoulder, "Just try not to crash us into anything." Fighting the upward tug I felt at one side of my mouth, I added more quietly, "Have fun."

"Always do," he winked before turning to follow Ryder towards the stairs that lead to the upper deck.

"Shall we?" Maren then asked, tossing her sarong to the bench as she stepped down into the hot tub.

I hesitated, glancing over my shoulder. Normally, I wasn't self-conscious about being seen in my swimsuit. But then, normally only people who were related to me ever saw me in it. The one exception there of course being my ex, but I'd never been awkward about it in front of him either. I'd never really been… anything about it. But now, oddly the idea of Lea seeing me in my swimsuit, it just… well, I don't know… did weird things to my pulse and made my skin tingle. It wasn't a bad feeling, per se… I wasn't quite sure what it was really.

In any case, the boys looked to be engrossed in a heated debate with Anna currently. It seemed the self-proclaimed captain wasn't quite ready to give up her post at the wheel yet. None of those three were even looking this way.

"...alright," I said at last, slipping out of my cover-up and letting it fall to the deck. Putting my hat down on top of the small pile of fabric as well, I lowered one foot in into the water, followed by the other before hastily taking a seat, letting the bubbling warmth engulf me up to my shoulders.

Stretching and luxuriating in the jacuzzi, Maren's glass dangled between her fingertips as she idly swirled about what was left of her bloody mary inside it. "I can see why you did it."

A crease formed between my eyebrows as I gave her a sideward glance. "Did what?"

"Got the hell outta Dodge before the first note of Here Comes the Bride could even chime out the organ," she smirked, sticking the straw into the corner of her mouth.

My lips pinched. "I thought you'd already established it was to sell ice cream," I grumbled, lifting the sunglasses to sit atop my hair now since the absurd heart lenses were already fogging over from all the steam.

She gave an amused scoff, setting her empty glass down on the rim of the hot tub. "I said that's what you did, but we both know that wasn't why. Not unless ice cream is roughly six foot seven, has green eyes to die for, and is rocking a smokin' hot bod."

"Oh…" I cleared my throat. Was my face turning red? Psh, that was just the jacuzzi. I think heat was cranked up a little too high in here, in fact. Yeah, that had to be it. I laughed nervously, "What can say I? He just, er… stole my heart."

Atta girl, way to sell the lie.

...that... was a lie… right?

What am I saying, of course it was! All I had was a crush. A simple, meaningless crush, nothing more.

Anna had finally retreated to the mini bar where she was sulking as she mixed herself a drink, so Ryder had set Lea up at the wheel, who was nodding at everything he was told. Maren removed her star-shades, gently biting down on one of the earpieces as her eyes drifted towards the helm. I wasn't particularly a fan of that sly little curve to her lips as she watched him. "Mmm, I bet that's not all he stole."

A small, incredulous splutter escaped me. "Maren," I scolded, splashing some water at her.

She snerked. "All I'm saying is I don't blame you. I myself would've given up a Prince Charming fiancé worth his weight in gold and risked any claim to my family fortune, all for one steamy summer fling with that hunky pizza boy over there."

Okay fine, no use denying it anymore. This thing my face was doing? Definitely a blush. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" I muttered, eyes darting about.

"Sure do and she is my world, my moon and my stars, my everything!" she beamed. Then her eyebrows bounced, "Still… doesn't mean I can't admire the view every once and awhile."

"Well stop admiring," I harrumphed, narrowing my gaze down at the frothy water.

"That's adorable! You really do like this one, don't you," she cooed, pinching my cheek. I just rolled my eyes and swat her hand away. "Hope you weren't too attached to your hat, by the way."

"My…?" I blinked. "Why?"

She pointed, "Cuz there it goes."

Sure enough, a gust of wind had come along to scoop it up and carry it off, only to let it plummet once it'd escaped the confines of the yacht.

"Cap overboard!" Ryder called out, cupping a hand to his mouth.

"I'll get it!" Lea grinned, already kicking off his flip-flops. Before any of us could react, he took off running, launching himself up onto the guard rail and diving into the waters below.

I inhaled sharply as I shot up to my feet. "Your boy is crazy!" Ryder was cackling as he steadied the abandoned steering wheel and shut off the ship engine. Maren whooped and clapped while a giggling Anna rushed to the edge, leaning over the metal bars to look for him.

I just hoped that big dummy didn't get knocked unconscious by the rudder cracking his skull open or something! All over a stupid sun hat, no less!

Thankfully, it wasn't long before Anna was throwing up her hands and cheering, which I took to be a good sign as I released the breath I'd been holding. Next thing I knew, Lea came rising up the ladder attached to the side of the boat, wet hair slicked back and the brim of my cap between his teeth so his hands were free for climbing. Clearing the last few rungs, he hopped onto the deck and grabbed the hat out of his mouth, hissing, "Shit, that water's cold! Brr, nearly froze my ass off!"

...or at least, I think he'd said something like that.

It was hard to be sure really. My eardrums seemed to be on the fritz while all my focus now directed itself towards his shirt. His sopping, soaking wet shirt. It was clinging to the chiseled contours of his abs in a way that was rather, ah… fascinating. Not to mention see-through. Yes, very, very much so. It was actually kind of beautiful, in a way. Majestic, really. Quite the sight to behold and-

-and fudge, I was staring.

Staring at him, who was staring at me.

Me, who was still standing in the jacuzzi and flaunting my two-piece like I was the friggin' star of Baywatch.

I sat back down so fast, water splashed over onto the deck behind me. Yes, oh blessed jacuzzi bubbles, cloak me in your warm, protective embrace. Face heated and eyes not quite able to meet his, I stammered out a quick, "Th-thank you."

"Of… of course! Happy to!" Lea said brightly. Huh… was he getting a bit of a sunburn? He started to walk forward with a goofy, lopsided grin, holding the hat out towards me, "Here ya g-"

Apparently misjudging where the ledge of the hot tub was, he stumbled head first into it with us. I jolted in my seat and Maren half shrieked, half laughed as water exploded everywhere. As soon as he resurfaced and was coughing up water, I asked, "Are you okay?!"

"Fine! Nothing bruised 'cept my pride. Wanna smooch it all better?" he snickered, leaning in close and making loud kissy noises. Eyelids drooping, I just put my hand on his face and shoved him away. Still chuckling, he once more offered me my now thoroughly drenched hat. "Believe this is yours, m'lady?"

I hid a smile behind my fingers. "My hero," I said dryly, taking it from him and setting it aside on the hardwood once more. Surely it was too waterlogged at this point to fly off again.

"Yoink," he plucked the heart-shades off me so he could wear them himself once more. "Mind if I join you gals?" he chirped, standing up in the jacuzzi to remove his soggy shirt. I did my best not to ogle him this time.

The same couldn't be said for Maren as she smirked up at him. "Would seem you already have, Slim."

He cocked an eyebrow at her as he took a seat at my side. Then he was bending towards me, muttering in a low voice, "Uh… should I be nervous about the way your cousin is looking at me?"

I snorted, turning and leaning in close so I could return the whisper into his ear, "Ignore her." Lea seemed to give a small shiver, but that wouldn't make sense. It was very hot in this jacuzzi, so I must have been mistaken. "She has a girlfriend."

"Did, uh…" he cleared his throat, "did anyone tell her that?"

"Don't worry. Apparently she's just admiring the view," I said, one corner of my mouth twitching up.

His eyes crinkled behind those pink lenses. "Good. Woulda hated to break her heart otherwise, seeing as how I'm already deliriously happy in a loving, committed relationship with the bewitching creature sitting next to me," he slipped one arm to rest along the edge of the hot tub behind me while taking my hand in his other one so he could bring it up out of the water and press his lips to my knuckles.

Click!

I glanced up at the sound to see Anna crouching down next to the jacuzzi, holding her phone up with the camera pointed towards us. "D'aww, what a great picture! You two are such cuties!" she squealed, looking down at her screen as her fingers swiped across it.

Lea had lowered our hands back down to rest underwater once more, his fingers interweaved with mine now. Which was a little silly, come to think of it, as no one could possibly be seeing us holding hands through all these bubbles. Perhaps he didn't realize that. Then again, I wasn't exactly rushing to take my hand back either.

Anna was still gushing, "Seriously, I'm becoming diabetic from sweetness overload h-"

"Cannonball!"

Maren's head shot up and she snarled, "Ryder, no! This is a hot tub, not a-"

Suddenly a big blur was hitting the water, sending a huge blast of water in all directions for the second time. Anna yelped, shielding her mobile with her body while the rest of us just did our best to block the mini tidal wave with our hands. It was amazing that there was any liquid still left in here with us by now.

"Wahoo!" Ryder cried out as he popped back up, bouncing with his hands high over his head in triumph. It was short lived however as his sister punched him in the gut and he doubled over with a grunt.

"Bonehead!" she scowled at him as she relaxed back into her seat. "You could've broken your dumb neck."

"And my phone!" Anna added as she gave said device a careful lookover.

"Whatever, you're all just jelly cuz you didn't think to do it yourselves first." He fished around in the water for his lip-shades that had fallen off before perching them on his head and taking a seat as he looked to Lea, "Hella cool, am I right? Up top!" He held up his hand. Lea just shrugged and obliged him with a high-five.

Maren sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Boys. Ugh."

Seemingly satisfied that no damage had come to her phone, Anna plopped down onto the ledge of the jacuzzi now and let her feet dangle in the water. "Pic of my fave cousin," she singsonged, snapping a shot of Maren tipping her sunglasses down and holding two fingers up in the peace sign. "And one of my idiot cousin," she deadpanned, pointing it at Ryder now who just crossed his eyes and razzed his tongue at her. Giggling, she then turned the phone camera back towards Lea and me. "I want a couple more of you guys! Go on, smoosh in, you two!"

...who me?

Awkward penguin, nervous wreck, ball of raw friggin' nerves me? "Smoosh" in with a guy? While we were both only in swimsuits and thus at least a good seventy-five percent naked? Smoosh?! I didn't even know how to smoosh! I'd never smooshed a day in my life!

Did my sister know me but at all?

She did remember Lea and I were only pretend dating, right?

I narrowed my gaze one her. "...excuse me?"

"You heard me," she said sweetly, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she tipped her head forward, smirking over those flower-glasses. "Snuggle in, Sis."

Oh-ho, that evil brat knew exactly what she was doing.

Fine. If I gave her this and let her have her fun, maybe she'd finally open up to me about whatever it was that'd been bothering her.

So I scooched an inch over towards Lea.

"Closer," Anna said, staring at her phone screen as she pointed the camera at us again and waved me over with her free hand.

A tiny huff in my throat and another inch over. My knee was brushing against his now.

Anna groaned, "Come on, closer! You two like each other, right?!"

Lea gave a sheepish laugh, scratching his cheek and whispering, "El, forget it, you don't hafta-"

"It's fine," I muttered under my breath, hard eyes still on Anna as I reached over my shoulder and closed my fingers around Lea's wrist resting behind my head there. Hesitating briefly as my face began to warm uncomfortably and the thudding in my ears grew louder, I finally tugged the arm down to wrap around my bare shoulders and leaned into his chest slightly.

"Ugh, closer!"

One of my eyes ticked. "Anna, any closer and I'll be sitting in his lap. Is that what you want?"

She smiled impishly, "I mean, if you think it'll help…"

Lea's hushed voice came to me again, "El, really, this isn't-"

"Lea, really, it's fine," I insisted through grit teeth.

Alright, Anna, you want closer? I'll give you closer, you little...

I twisted in my seat, hugged my arms around his neck and yanked him down, pressing our cheeks together. Not to mention our chests. Our very wet, scantily-to-not-at-all clad chests. But I tried not to think about that part. My cheeks were frying enough as it was already. His whole body went rigid against mine before slowly relaxing as I felt his arms tighten around me. "Here, Anna," I snapped, "take the stupid picture!"

Hold this pose any longer and my heart might just shatter a rib with the way it was thundering.

Still there was no click. She frowned, "Aw, c'mon, Sis, give us a smile! You're in wub, after all!"

...that's it, I was going to throttle her.

"Gotcha covered!" Lea announced. I'd barely even had a chance to register his words before he'd removed his cheek from mine only to replace it with his lips and blow a loud raspberry. All my tension immediately banished and a surprised laugh erupted out of me as I tried to wriggle free, but not before-

Click!

"Perfect!" Anna bit back a grin as she eyed the photo on her phone.

Lea had a cheeky grin of his own that he was shooting my way. Though my eyes glared, my lips smiled as I gave his arm a shove, which did nothing to erase his smug look. Before I could retract my hand however, he'd snatched it up in his so he could lace our fingers together once more. At least this time it was above the water for everyone to see.

Now that that bit of nonsense was over and done with, perhaps Anna would give me a minute to talk to her while she was still distracted by riding her photography high. I saw Maren poking a finger into her brother's cheek as she teased him about something, so our cousins probably wouldn't miss us if we slipped away for a second or two. Sitting up straighter and taking a deep breath, I began, "Anna, perhaps now you and I could have a-"

"Oopsie, looks like I need a refill!" she trilled, swiping up her glass from where it sat on the deck beside her.

I squinted at it. "...it's still mostly full."

"Check again." She downed the whole thing in one big gulp before puffing out a satisfied, "Ha! Be right back!"

Whoosh!

Gone again.

With a long, drawn out sigh, I slouched so low into the jacuzzi now, the foamy surface brushed against my chin. I could see Lea frowning at me out of my peripheral, but he remained quiet, probably just as much at a loss with this whole mystery situation with my sister as I was.

My eyes gradually drifted over to the mini bar where I could see her mixing up some new concoction. However, instead of the upbeat glow she usually had about her, I noticed her shoulders sagging a little. She was worrying her lower lip between her teeth, the corners of her mouth turned down. I couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses, but her brow was wrinkled, seemingly lost in thought as she hung her head.

Huh… that didn't look like someone who was mad.

Maybe Lea was right. Maybe there really was something that had her sad or scared.

But what could it possibly be?

And why wouldn't she just tell me?

Author's Note: Yay for some yacht fun! Cuz that's just what rich people do I suppose xD Again, since I'm not sure if all of ya'll have seen Frozen 2, the new characters introduced this chapter (including the briefly mentioned Yelena) were all from that movie as a buncha people called the Northuldra who live in an enchanted forest. Since in F2 it was revealed Elsa's mom was Northuldra, there is a VERY real possibility that Honeymaren and Ryder really are all canonically related to Elsa and Anna in some way, so I figured hey, why not turn them into her cousins in this? Now if only Ryder had gotten to see Kristoff's talking reindeer Sven plushie routine, I think Ryder would have positively exploded with happiness xD Real talk tho, boys and girls... don't pull a Ryder: do NOT cannonball into a jacuzzi.

Alright, we now have Saturday morning out of the way, but still have plenty of The Weekend to go yet! Next chapter, what will the rest of the day hold for Elsa? Will she ever find out what seems to have her baby sis so down? Not to mention Gramps' bday palooza is looming ever nearer on the horizon, what potential new "fun" could that lil party bring? And seriously, how WAS there any water left in that lil hot tub after those couple o' knuckleheads (intentionally or not) crashed hard into that thing? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

13 notes · View notes

ccatvalentine · 3 years

Text

murder house | pilot

introduction

Season 1 - Murder House

Episode 1 - Pilot

word count: 2,438

1978

Far above , the branches twisted like distorted limbs reaching out. The forboding tree reaching out towards you. The open gates, showcasing a gnarled, old looking- house and a young girl standing on the front lawn

CRASH! A sound crashes as someone throws a rock at the window of an abandoned house and shatters it.

Bryan jokes “Hey, Troy. You're a dork.”

“Hey, shut up. Hey, freak.” Troy insults.

On Bryan’s way to the front door, Bryan blows some kisses at Addie who stares back at him, keeping a straight face.

“Excuse me. You are going to die in there.” the mysterious girl warns.

“Shut your mouth, or we're gonna kick your ass!” Troy says,angry at the girl.

Bryan “We got bats.”

Troy moans “I hate trees!”

As they enter the house, Addie chants “You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it.”

Troy “Yeah!”

Bryan “Yeah!”

The boys smash everything inside of the house with their bats.

“Troy” Bryan says he looks at the door.

“Awesome, go,” Troy forced.

“No, you go, shithead.” Bryan says, not wanting to go first.

The boys go down the stairs, not knowing the dangers that they are about to face.

“Check it out." Troy pushed.

They find a room full of jars filled with human's and animal's parts. Troy picks up a jar containing an ear and drops it. As a result, it shatters onto the ground.

“It stinks in here. It stinks like shit. You remember last summer when we get the raccoon stuck in our chimney? That's what it smells like. Let's go find it.” Troy says, disgusted.

“No, it smells bad... I'm getting out of here.” Bryan says.

Troy goes further into the room, poping his crackers, while Bryan turns around, up the stairs. Suddenly, the popping stops. Bryan stops his ascension.

"Troy? " Bryan questions.

(A bottle rolls across floor)

"Troy? Who's down there? Cut it out, Troy. Cut it out." Bryan asks again, scared.

Bryan finds Troy on the ground, his throat slashed while Troy is reaching out to him, unable to utter anything. Suddenly, Bryan turns around and sees a terrifying creature called the infantata, running in their direction.

As a result, Bryan starts screaming bloody murder as Addy simply stars back at the house.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

18th July 2011

Ugh this is soooo boring, I don't know why my parents aren't divorced already, whatever, it's not like I care.

"Mommmm are we there yet?" I complain.

" We'll be there soon honey. " mom says looking at me from the mirror thing.

Vivien : The light is different out here. It's softer.

Violet : It's called smog.

Ben : You should be excited, Vi. You can stop sneaking cigarettes and just start taking deep breaths.

Violet : I need to go to the bathroom.

Ben : We're almost there.

Violet : I need to go.

Ben : Vi, it's a freeway. Really, where do you want me to pull over? Maybe the Honda next to us has a bathroom or something.

Violet : Bet if the baby had to piss , you'd find somewhere.

"Hey! Don't call me a baby!" I pouted.

Vivien : Really? Violet, I hate that word, unless I'm saying it.

Ben : I'm really glad we named you Violet, instead of our second choice. Same with you Eve.

Violet : Which was?

Vivien : Sunshine.

"lol, cringe." Violet shoots me a ' wtf' look.

Ben : It's funny. Come on, you gotta admit it's funny.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, we’re at the front of our brand new house and dad is ringing the doorbell.

Ben : I love it. Don't you love it, hon? I mean, it looks even better than it did online.

Vivien : Yeah, it's interesting.

“How about you Evelyn?” Dad asks me.

“I think it’s cool and superrr creepy. :) it’s totally haunted!” I beam while Violet keeps on thinking, ‘why does my sister have to be so creepy?’

Violet : Great. So we're the Addams Family now.

Ben : Hey, crabby pants. Come here.

Vivien : What are you doing?

Ben : Isn't this place amazing?

Suddenly, I see an old looking lady open the door.

Marcy : Welcome. It's a classic L.A. Victorian. Built around 1920 by the doctor to the stars at the time. It's just fabulous. These are real Tiffany fixtures. As you can see, the previous owners really loved this place like a child. They restored everything.

‘Tiffany, in that super cool famous store I see big celebrities like Lady Gaga buy and wear???!’ I think, amazed.

Vivian: Gay?

Marcy : What do you think?

Ben : Tiffany. Wow.

Marcy : Do you cook?

Ben : Viv is a great cook. I got her cooking lessons a few years ago, and she ended up teaching the teacher a few things.

Marcy : Cooking lessons... romantic. Aren't you a psychologist?

Ben : Psychiatrist. You said something on the phone about there being a study that I could use as a home office? I'm planning on seeing patients here, so I can spend more time with the family.

‘That’s kinda cool I guess : I wont have to deal with seeing the patients every day. Privacy, at last.’ I smile, happy at the idea.

Marcy : How refreshing.

(Vivien puts her dog down, and it goes running outside the kitchen, yapping)

Vivien : Violet, honey, would you go see where Hayley we-nt? Oh, never mind. Eve, try not to trip sweetheart!

“Hey fluffy, what’s wrong?” her eyes widen (she just came up with this) “I know! It’s ghost... spooky. 😃” Whoever the ghost was, decided to prank her by tapping her on the head lightly. “ Aaahhhh!!!” she screamed while running into her mothers chest while her mother was confused. Nevertheless, she’s pulled her daughter into a hug. “Mom! This shits haunted, so cool!”

Violet was used to this, username to her sister being obsessed and fascinated with scary things. Violet signed and went up to the dog,” What are you yapping at?”

That was soooo epic! Finally, I get to feel a ghost!!😊😃😀 im watching as the loser attempts to open a random creepy door, oh she’s done it, finalllly. I see her go in a bit and peek inside while she goes down the stairs. it's dark and creepy but whatever cool I guess.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

I was walking back to the living room?? area.

Vivien : This wallpaper is peeling over here. Looks like maybe there's a mural underneath it.

Marcy : The last owners probably covered it up. They were modernists. Speaking of the last owners, full disclosure requires that I tell you about what happened to them.

‘Wait?! something happenedddd???’

Vivien : Oh, God... they didn't die in here or anything, did they?

Marcy : Yes, actually, both of them. Murder-suicide. I sold them the house, too. They were just the sweetest couple. You never know, I guess.

‘omgggggg ghostsss!!!! i called it! 😉’

Ben : That explains why it's half the price of every other house in the neighborhood, I guess.

Marcy : I do have a very nice mid-century ranch, but it's in the Valley, and you're going to get a third of the house for twice the price.

Ben : Right.

Violet : Where did it happen?

Marcy : The basement.

Violet : We'll take it.

‘:) operation find ghosts!’

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Ben: Come on, babe, let's go to bed. Leave that for the morning.

Vivien : I'm a little bit worried about Violet, you know, these kids here are very different. I don't know if she can handle another year of not fitting in. Same with Evelyn, her friends at her old school weren’t a great influence on her.

Ben : You mean... you can't?

Vivien : Can't believe this place doesn't freak you out a little bit. 'Cause of what happened here?

Ben : My repulsion is tempered by the fact that this house is worth four times what we paid for it, so let's not think about it.

Vivien : This is your professional advice, Doctor, just denial?

Ben : Come on, let me give you a little love. Moving here, buying this house was the exact right thing to do for us and our family. It's a good thing and we deserve some good after all the shit we've been through.

Vivien : I've got some stuff I want to... unpack down in the kitchen. I appreciate that you're trying. I'm trying, too.

Ben : Okay.

Vivien : It's just gonna take some time.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, I’m at the campus of my new middle school. I see a group of bitchy-looking girls out front.

Maria : Hey! Student council passed a rule against blowing bubblegum.

Katy : yeah, you could choke on it.

‘tf okay karen.’

“I'm new, I didn't know, sorry.” i roll my eyes.

Maria : What the hell is wrong with you? People sit here, they eat here.

“You don't know me. Why are you doing this?”

Katy : Maria's grandmother died from choking on gum, she takes this pretty seriously.

Maria : Eat it... eat it or I'm gonna kick the shit out of you.

“No. What?”

Cathy : Come on, , that's enough.

Maria : No, no, no, I want to see her eat it.

“No. No.”

Maria : Eat it, eat it.

Katy : Maria, seriously, she's like 10.

Maria tries to force me to eat the gum, but I take the gum out of my mouth and place it on Maria’s head. Maria screams.

Maria : You are dead! You are dead!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, I’m peaking, leaning around the corner of my sister’s door.

Tate : This one I did after my dad left. I was ten, I think.

‘Who’s this?’

Violet : Last week, first day at my new school... sucks.

‘Ouch, that looks like it hurts.’

Tate : Westfield, right? The worst. I got thrown out of there.

Violet : I hate it here. I hate everyone. All there bourgeoisy designer bullshit. East Coast was much cooler. I mean, at least we had weather.

Tate : I love it when the leaves change.

Violet : Yeah, me, too.

Tate : Why did you move here?

Violet : My dad had an affair. My mom literally caught him in the act.

‘Yeah, why don’t they divorce then????!!‘ I acidentally slipped as i had been leaning into the door to much. oof

Violet: what are you doing here? wait, were u listening in on our conversation?!

“err, maybe?”

Tate: Who’s this?

“I’m Evelyn, Violet’s better sister, epic ghost hunter😼😎“

Tate smiles lightly, violet says, “whatever, come here.” she puts me on her lap while they carry on their conversatio

Tate : That's horrible. If you love someone, you should never hurt them... never.

Violet : Right? I know. And the worst part is that six months earlier, my mom had, like, this brutal miscarriage. The baby was seven months old, and we had to have this macabre funeral. Have you ever seen a baby coffin?

Tate sits near Violet and gently touches her wrist.

Tate : I'm sorry.

Violet : Why are you seeing my dad?

Tate : Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. You're smarter than that.

Violet : Want to listen to Morrissey? He's cool and he's pissy and he hates everyone and everything.

Tate : Got any Kurt Cobain on that thing?

Ben : What are you doing in here?

I turn my head around and see dad by the door

Violet : Just listening to music, Dad.

Ben : You need to leave, Tate. I'm sorry. He shouldn't be in here, and I think you know that... please.

Tate : What's that thing you think I'm afraid of? Fear of rejection?

Ben : Stay away from him.

Violet : Dad, nothing...

Ben : You heard me!

Tate : No! Bullet, bullet, bullet!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

im in the kitchen with mom eating some sweets and i see a women and a girl.

Vivien : I want you to stay out of my house. Do you understand?

Constance : Can I smoke in here?

Vivien : No. Adelaide, answer me, please.

Addie : Can I pet your dog?

Vivien : No, Adelaide, I want you to stay out of the house. I want you to stop coming in and opening things up and telling me that I'm going to die.

Ben : She said that?

Constance : She says that to everybody. Say you're sorry, Addie.

Addie : No, they did it.

Vivien : Who did it?

Addie : The twins.

Constance : Shh.

Addie : Can I... pet your dog?

Vivien : No, Adelaide, listen to me. I want you to stop coming in here without permission. Am I clear?’

I wisper to mom, ‘why does she always come in the house, i can hear her a lot.’ mom just shrugs

Ben : Vivien.

Vivien : Am I clear?

Addie : Yes.

Vivien : Thank you.

Constance : Time to go, Addie.

Ben : Hallie!

Vivien : Are you okay?

Addie : She shouldn't have done that.

Constance : Sorry about all this. You touch my kid one more time and I will break your goddamn arm.

‘awkward, now thats a TRUE karen’

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

im at school and this bitch is trying to fucking fight me

Violet : I'm not scared of you!

Maria : Should be!

Kids : Fight, fight, fight!

i spit

Maria: little bitch!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Vivien : Hey. Whoa. Come here. What happened to your face?

“Fell down.”

Vivien : Come here. Sit, sit, sit. Boy or girl?

“Girls. Three of em.””

Vivien : Hope they look worse than you do. You know their names?

“I'm not narking.”

Vivien : You know, we can easily move you to a different school. There are a lot of really good private schools right in this neighborhood.

“I'm not running away. I'm not scared of them. Not afraid of anything.”

Vivien : It's like that time in kindergarten, when you insisted that I bring you home from the slumber party 'cause all the other girls were sleeping without the nightlight on. I know you've gotten the short end of the stick, lately. This move, and...your dad and I haven't exactly been great to be around.

“Why don't you guys get divorced, if you're so miserable?”

Vivien : We still love each other.

“ You could've fooled me. I thought you hated each other. Well, at least you hated him. I don't blame you. He was a shithead. Sorry.”

Vivien : It's okay. He was a shithead. You know, we got a lot of history. Your dad's been through a lot, I've been through a lot. Guess we need each other. What are you scared of?

“You said I'm not scared of anything, so... what scares you?”

Vivien : Lately? Everything. Life will do that to you.

#american #american horror story #murder house #murder #ahs #fanfiction #fanfic #ff #horror #thriller #drabble #story #stories #ahs coven #ahs murd #ahs murder house #american horror story asylu #american horror story coven #american horror story murder house

2 notes · View notes

cake-in-a-tin · 4 years

Text

My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back

forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...

the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why

Philosopher’s Stone

teeny harry haha

that snake is so beautiful

no post on sundays bro

hi hagrid

how did the dursleys get off the island tho

aw harry is so teeny and innocent

ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that

hermione is so great already

and you are…

‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’

haha tiny malfoy

TREVOR! + neville

that death glare mcgonagall omg

oof snape really hates harry

it's leviooosa not leviosaaa

troll in the dungeon!!!

hi fluffy

ew norbert is gross to be completely honest

creepy malfoy staring at the window

malfoy being sassy wow

‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?

oof ron are u ok

bye hermione

voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes

harry really just killed quirrell jeez man

alas earwax

Chamber of Secrets

ah go away dobby don't be weird

yes the car with fred and george

oof bye uncle vernon haha

ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u

haha ginny is iconic

rons face when the train comes omg

ron can drive? that's impressive…

ooh a voice scaryyy

hey colinnn

eat slugs - yas

let go of his arm lockhart

uh oh colin is petrified

hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow

gosh moaning myrtle is annoying

tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh

ew spiders

lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow

yas fawkes

ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...

powerful sock…

go away lucius ur annoying

Prisoner of Azkaban

ugh aunt marge blow up already

sassy harry tm

tom is iconic

so is crookshanks tbh

the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho

yess lupin hi

ugh shut up trelawney

ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other

‘it’s killed meh!’

the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player

love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends

yay marauders map - iconic fred and george

nice snowman also

my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...

yes leave hermione

trelawney stop being creepy

take that malfoy

harry third wheeling

yas remus save sirius

"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up

die peter lol

haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely

ugh harry stop being noble

haha yes mentioning the marauders

ew stop peter

oh no werewolf

sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude

bad idea yes ron i agree

oof fight him sirius

no sirius!

the dementorssss

no harry that's not a real patronus dude

nom eat the little soul nugget nice

ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo

scabbers did it ok... shut up ron

dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious

and enter many time paradoxes

‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry

yess save buckbeak dudes

yas beautiful patronus dude

this music tho wow

au revoir sirius

I wonder how many stairs they ran up...

poor ron so confused

that bird just got squished no

don't leave lupin

please tell harry about the marauderss

i love lupin omg

ooh a firebolt thanks godfather

the ending face wow

Goblet of Fire

ooh nagini hello

yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea

dr who!

ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm

yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow

hermione's so mad 4 some reason

yes cedric diggory in a tree

everyone has long hair why

isn't just any manky old boot mate

cedric amos and arthur are show offs

feet off the table!

i luv magik

wow krum is enjoying himself

Why is draco wearing a suit?

lucius is very ominous

think ur in luvvv ron

is there no winky in this? sad

harry is so awkward omg

bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant

oh bonjour beauxbatons

wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples

wow run filch ao athletic

ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist

ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt

moody is so dramatic

dumbledore already shouting nice

why does he have so many bugssss

ah that is a creepy spider

poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks

yess fred and george back at it again

hermione ruining the vibe

HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly

what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting

igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude

hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past

yas sirius in a fire

"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)

poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew

wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie

"nyaaah"

malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character

my father will hear about thissss

omg rita get outttt

fight the dragonnnn

feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*

it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.

knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa

god just open it harry

ron ur so awkward...

harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me

oh yes the gorgeous dress robes

poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...

*babbling bumbling band of baboons*

the twins are hilarious in this haha

aw neville!

snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace

ron's jealous of viktor krum haha

love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.

given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.

ugh no myrtle stop

harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood

harry's hair when he was swimming haha

just leave them harryy omg too noble

harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can

fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation

mr crouch stop being weird

yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts

oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool

i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me

Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...

snape is so iconic wow

"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again

this music is so great

i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope

"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie

aw baby voldemort is so cute

ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama

how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??

the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters

u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head

voldemort has lovely long fingernails

lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.

"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence

bit awkward to return with a dead body...

its alright harry *shakes his head violently*

uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr

Order of the Phoenix

halfway done woo

the intro music is still a jam the 5th time

that is big whinging not little whinging

hi big D what a great nickname...

uh oh dementorrrrr

yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies

harry looks a lot like frodo baggins

yay the order is rescuing him finally

yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone

ooh kreacher

jeez hermione attack him

crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do

cute godfather godson moments yeass

arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome

ugh not umbridge ew

yes clear those charges

aw padfoot yess

wow that's a lovely coat sirius

voldemort looks great in a suit wow

didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?

yes luna!

oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd

yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend

sassy harry reaching full potential

ugh umbridge sucks wow

so evil torturing harry

yes weasleys wizards wheezes

luna is so pure and perfect

the friendship between her and harry is so amazing

yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall

trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge

oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry

yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane

yes hermione break the rules!

oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy

yay the room of requirement!

dumbledores army is so fabuloussss

nigel is amazing and i love him

wow hermione just knocked out ron haha

harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches

wow ginny is so powerful

harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh

just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*

occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun

cute christmas scenes wow

ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay

harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss

yay hagrid finally

oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss

poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair

is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference

aw all the patronuses are so cute

uh oh here comes umbridge...

noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa

oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"

no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll

grawp yess. hes kind of cutee

ron is jealous of grawp bahaha

sheesh snape chill

yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh

thats it? noo

aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!

yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!

no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo

yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )

yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr

'i must not tell lies' the sass omg

jeez how many prophecies are there wow

pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish

well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall

yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh

yas sirius!

the order yes

you're beautiful sirius

noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭

yooo voldemort my dudeee

hope the ministry has a massive roomba

the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'

nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool

ah yes angsty harry tm

aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.

luna is an icon though

we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha

Half Blood Prince

uh oh the dark mark is here

death eaters as well fun

fenrir greyback!!

oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af

dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny

ew slughorn no

wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly

slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh

im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys

oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty

oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that

yess fred and george!!!

weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg

uh not cormac mclaggen

oooh its "draco and mummy"

no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet

yes arnold!

yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald

why is draco always wearing a suit??

yes draco is going to pigfarts!

ouch why would u stomp on his nose??

yez luna save him

noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...

poor harry having to do potions again ugh

dun dun dunnn the half blood prince

poor seamus stuff is still exploding

haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol

baby tom riddle is creepyy

tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute

edgy draco in his loki suit

aw rons the only one listening

ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo

haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him

'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses

harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow

wow sneaky draco

rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.

uh oh cursed necklace alert

harry pottrr the boy who just knew

snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)

oh god they're talking about skin aahhh

noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn

ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh

haa rons outfit

ew lavender stopp

oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch

poor hermione she just loves ron thats all

aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice

angsty draco standing in a tower

"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious

luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry

draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot

no draco ur apple!

oh nvm its back dw

ugh cormac sucks. hermione why??

at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes

draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now

cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)

ew lavender stopppp

ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd

thanks ron

stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee

why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon

wow everyones sassy including hermione now

also lav is an awful nicknname

aha tom riddle is still creepy

okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes

uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop

harry thinks the moon is divine haha

Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh

slughorn is so useless

haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name

draco being edgy again woowwww

lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one

oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager

let him cry in peace harry god man

'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound

oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.

no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont

just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better

yes the felix felicis

love harry potter like this its so funny

‘harry!’ ‘sir!’

not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*

nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes

ooh back to tom riddle being creepy

yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time

snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie

oops foreshadowing...

harry has precious blood apparently?

yay boat ride and smoothie

harry potter not harry water bro

noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry

yay new friends!!!

dumbledore ur gonna set harry on fire careful my dude

ooh death eaterz

did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?

oop bye dumbledore

harry brooding in dumbledores office

yess RAB get wrecked voldemort

harry ur thick apparently?

aw cute friendship

Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

rusty logo wow

‘ello whoo are u

oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude

veey dramatic

aaawww hermione no

yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving

ron brooding wow

bye parents sad face

wow vernons old man

ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on

yay snape has a savey seat

pius is a great name

uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy

dracos face haha

ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross

the dursleys house looks so empty

yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee

moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.

yay remus and tonksss

shut up mundungus

blimey hermionee

'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol

wow so many harrys lol

yh wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh

uh oh death eaters

wow parkour harry

nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie

yo voldemort wassup

oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea

nooo george's ear

jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude

george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments

uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh

ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u

harry stop being moody omg

wow george way to ruin the vibe dude

yo minister leave pls

ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u

yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great

wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro

give him the sword man

yay nice wedding

luna interrupting deep thoughts casually

xenophilius is creepy

ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.

way to crash a wedding dude

hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said

i really want that bag of hermiones

shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops

"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*

sassy harry yas

oh yes grimmauld place

oof voldys having wand struggles

hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks

aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead

regulus arcturus black yay

ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude

aw neville

oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now

uh shut up umbridge

feel like u dont need that many posters

sentimental piano playing wow

yo dobbyyyy

umbridge ruins everything omg

ron - u dont have a wife

haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha

ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss

yas the ugly plates are still in her office

oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife

nice suit harry

ouch splinch

lovely tent

kill the locket dude

dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy

yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude

harry stop being so moody bro

ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.

oh no snatchers...

ah u almost got caught dudes

ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything

lot of missing people...

haha a quarantine haircut

yes hermione ur brilliant

oh god ron stop chill

bye ron i guess lol

poor hermione

yas awkward dancing timee

awkward stares

kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny

uh oh its opening at the closee

vfd!!! an eyee!!!

ooh godrics hollowwww

oop its christmas eve whoopssss

oh a deathly Hallows

parents grave yay!

ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii

bathilda is 1 creepy lady

what are u saying my dude????

ew snake lady

chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely

ah she jumped at them

looks like a nice campsite

wow now hermiones being sentimental

oop she sat on harrys wand

wait nvm

oooh a doe a deer a female deer

dont drown harry that would be awkward

omgbharry stop undressing

oof the locket strangling him

yay ron saved him yas dude

ron kill the horcrux

u tell him hermione

nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices

yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee

aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro

their house is so cute

shut up ron god

yay we know about the deathly hallows now

xenophilius is so suspicious tho

why would you say his nameeee

noo snatchers

ooo ominous malfoy manor

draco dont doo ittt

yay dobby!

ah no hermione

aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit

yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'

nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭

"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"

yay the elder wand wow

giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

snape hi ur brooding

lots of dementys

dramatic music

waaa dobby

yay bill and fleur

yo griphook what up

the sword was in a river bro

madam lestrange? no!

oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww

wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'

oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros

ron looks great with a moustache tho

harry just broke the law jeez...

wow that cart looks fun

wow they fell from the cart nice

oh no ron broke the law too whoops

yay a dragon

lots of gold nice

yay the cup

oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg

griphook y are u evil my dude

yay ride a dragon

oops they fell no

yas they escaped

uh oh voldemort is onto them

that's a lot of dead people

oh no everyones looking for them

ah aberforth hi!

the other part of harry's mirror!

oop dumbledore was a secretive dude

ariana yas

neville!

i love neville hes so great now

yay all of the DA

luna!

ginny is being awkward

'shut up seamus' hhaha

aaa snape yooo

snape stop being a meanie

stop being angry harry

yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!

yay

uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again

stop voldemort you need a cough sweet

yes everyone protect him

haha filch is a blithering idiot wow

i love mcgonagall

run harry

boom! seamus blow stuff up!

yay the knight peeps

uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone

yes luna is so smart and iconic

go talk to a ghost harry

thats a lot of death eaters

go away voldemort no one likes u

yes go stab a crown harry

yay remus

fred and george aw

ron fake parseltonguing lol

nooo quidditch

lol peeps got disintegrated

go hermione stab the cup

yessss kisss!!!!

tonks and remus together wow

wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins

run neville!

yay ginny and neville

yay a little kiss for harry!

ooh the room of requirement

edgy draco back at it again

ooh the diadem

no dracooo

yh draco y didnt u give harry away?

aw ron loves hermione

uh oh fireee

nice work goyle

bye crabbe lol

yay hes saving draco

nice killed the tiara

oops voldemorts getting angry

snapes gonna dies dudes

runnnnn guys

lavenders being eaten

yay aberforth

yeet snapes dying

gosh naginis violent

“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said

woops bye snape

freds death is too sad

nooo remus and tonks

go watch snapes life my dude

yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)

poor harry

its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself

his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg

ooh yay his familyyy

he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'

u got this harry

yay teddy mention

"until the end" yas james

lets do this harry

wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo

yes harry be a brave man

byee harryyyy

oooh hes alive still

hi dumbledore

yes harry is a brave brave man

cool explain it to him dumbledore

bye dumbledoreeee

wow voldy u weakk bro

yas dracos alive get off me

aw neville u got this man

voldy yeeted that dead giant wow

ew snakey boi

nooo hes dead waa

poor draco such an awkward hug

oop neville what?

ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on

voldys very polite for a villain

yay harrys alive

haha dieee

run lucius wow

oof destroying the school harry really

naginis coming run hermione

u got dis neville

noo ron

yes molly!!!

y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..

ouch

bye snake boiii

neville is so iconic omg

kill him HARRY

noice

haha disintegrate voldemort

byeee

dont breathe in voldemort guys

wow harrys a mess

yay hagrid

hermione and ron are so sweet aw

harry yeet the wand

wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it

YEET

aw the friendship

yess 19 years later

wow that hair harry

all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...

should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg

THE END DUDESSSSS

#pls read #unfortunately this is basically my stream of consciousness #i think like that #idk #philosophers stone #chamber of secrets #prisoner of azkaban #goblet of fire #order of the phoenix #half blood prince #deathly hallows #harry potter #harry potter movie marathon #ron weasley #hermione granger #albus dumbledore #voldemort

12 notes · View notes