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#i’m quarantining and therefore forced to be online
ultrabooob · 7 months
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wishing i was a good writer bc then i’d just write stuff about joker out on various uk daytime tv and britcom shows
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jiminisnotavirgin · 3 years
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Pairing: professor!taehyung | collegestudent!reader
Genre: smut
Description: A one-on-one video call with your hot, college professor takes a surprising turn.
Words: 3.8k
Warnings: inappropriate student/teacher relations, mutual masturbation, fingering, clit-stimulation, and innapropriate language.
Note: After much anticipation, I hope this is my return to the writing part of the lovely fanfic world. Here’s a little something mischievous and self-indulgent (clearly!). I started writing this when quarantine and remote-learning first began last year and I returned to it earlier this week. Let me know what you think :) I hope you enjoy A+. Love, Phoenix.
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Email after email, document after document, the light from Taehyung’s laptop shines bright blue across his features. The hours go by and the sky grows darker but he remains at his desk, only taking small breaks to lighten the strain on his eyes. His chair creaks as he leans back and glances outside the window. Like most nights lately, only the stars keep him company tonight.
His courses shifted to an online-only remote format due to the need for social distancing. Despite the initial confidence he displayed to his boss and colleagues over the change, Taehyung is more unsure than ever. Frustration sneaks its way into his mind like a viper wrapped around its squirming prey. His life has turned into a turbulent sea of e-mails and complaints from upset students. What’s the best way for him to support his students? How can he assure them that their mental health is more important than any essay or assignment they’ll ever complete?
A sudden knock at the door steals his attention. Jungkook, his roommate and best friend, leans against the doorway with crossed arms. “Professor Kim,” he begins with a smirk. “Do you have a minute to speak?”
“What’s up?” asks Taehyung, ignoring his friend’s use of the name his students address him with.
“Did you see Jimin’s text? He invited us over for drinks at his apartment. Are you coming?”
“Can’t,” answers Taehyung. His computer glows in his peripheral vision. “I have—“
“Emails to write, work to do. I get it, you’re a busy man.” Jungkook shrugs. “I thought I’d ask anyway since it’s Saturday night.”
“Maybe next time.” Guilt floods Taehyung’s chest and makes it difficult to look Jungkook directly in the eye. Not only is he a shitty professor but he’s a shitty friend, too.
Jungkook finally steps inside the room, occasionally tinkering with Taehyung’s things until he reaches his desk. “Whatever. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Jungkook’s already-large doe eyes go wider. “Because all you do is sit at that damn computer all day!”
“I have to teach classes online, what do you expect?”
“It’s not healthy. You barely even leave your room to eat.”
“Who are you, the food police?”
“No, I’m your best friend,” Jungkook answers. “When was the last time you did anything fun? Or normal? You’re twenty-six, Tae, not a hundred and six.”
Taehyung sighs. “I can’t think about any of that right now. Actually, I should get back to my work...”
Jungkook takes the hint and leaves, but not without shooting a glare that makes Taehyung regret his choice of words. He can’t worry about it right now though—not when he has a call planned with you in about two minutes.
He was surprised to see an email from you in his inbox yesterday. You’re one of the students that hasn’t reached out all semester unlike most of the others in his courses. He knows just what kind of student you are: the type who floats through classes quietly but still gets high marks. You’re an older student. You fade into the background by avoiding the attention of your peers but your work stands out, therefore, you do too. He recognizes it because he was that student, too.
Taehyung opens the app for the call, expecting you to pick up after a minute or two but you answer within seconds. “Hello,” he greets you.
You tuck a stand of hair behind your ear and speak but no sound follows the movement of your mouth. He waits but nothing changes.
Taehyung clears his throat. “I think your microphone is off,” he says and types the same words into the chat box at the bottom of his screen.
You squint as you bring your face closer to the monitor. “Can you hear me now?”
He smiles. “Perfect. So, how are you doing? How’s the semester been so far?”
You shrug. “It’s been okay. I’m just trying my best, you know? What about you?”
“Pretty much the same. There’s nothing to do besides read and grade assignments.”
“I wanted to talk to you about the midterm, actually...” your voice fades out and your eyes drift away from the camera. He digs through his memory for what you wrote but his mind comes out empty-handed.
“Let me pull it up on my computer.” He searches through his saved files and documents.
“Oh, you don’t have to do all of that.” You pause for a few seconds. “It’s about my grade.”
“Let’s see... B-plus. Nice work.” When he looks away from your paper, he catches you frowning.
“Could you give me some feedback on it?” you ask.
“I left a few comments on the side,” he answers, eyes still glued to the document. He exits the window and focuses on your face once again. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. You’re a lovely writer.”
“Not good enough if I can only get B-pluses,” you answer with a sigh. Taehyung sits up in his chair, surprised by your shift in tone.
Are you looking for an explanation? A justification for the grades he’s given you? “Most students would be satisfied with a B-plus in an almost graduate level course.”
“With all due respect, sir, I’m not your other students.”
His brows twitches. “Oh?”
“I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an arrogant jerk but I’m not used to getting anything lower than an A on my papers. The fact that I’m about to graduate and can’t hack yours is pretty... frustrating.”
He presses his lips together. “I don’t know what to tell you.” What do you want to hear? Can anything he’ll say wipe that glare off your face? It’s interesting to see you lose your cool after all this time.
You refuse to back down from the challenge. In this impromptu staring contest, your brown eyes penetrate his through the computer screen.
Taehyung decides to give in. Slightly. “One thing I will say,” he continues, “is that I’m particularly tough on my best students. If I gave you an A-plus on every essay you handed in, what would you work up to? There’s no doubt about the strength of your writing.”
Your expression changes immediately. “Oh,” is the only word that leaves your lips. The lines of anger decorating your forehead smooth out as your mouth eases into a relieved smile.
It’s in this moment that Taehyung finds himself looking at you. Truly looking at you.
There’s something about the determination in your face as you plead your case, as though nothing else in the world matters more. Your glossy, heart-shaped lips possess a reddish tint that reminds him of cherries, or rubies. Even through the pixels on the computer screen, you retain the same freshness he remembers from a few months ago, if not more now.
All this time on the computer has gone to your head, he thinks to himself. Perhaps there’s still a chance for him to catch up to Jungkook and the others.
A giggle erupts from your side of the call. “So my papers are good? And here I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“I didn’t mean to make you suffer,” he murmurs and runs a hand through the waves in his raven hair. His eyelids flutter closed as he sinks into his chair and stretches his arms. Finally, a meeting he can consider a success; a meeting where the student leaves the call less frustrated than when it began. He prepares to end the call and log off for the night.
Then he hears it.
It’s faint and quiet and quick but he hears it, as if all sounds in the world were turned off and yours was amplified. The sound echoes in his mind as though you were right there beside him: “If only you knew how you make me suffer.”
This progression of thoughts occurs in a matter of seconds. By the time he’s processed your statement, his eyes have been forced open and any chance of relaxation for the rest of the night disappears into thin air.
“What?” he asks, voice betraying the casualness he wishes to exude.
“Oh, nothing.” You blink innocently, long lashes fluttering like a pair of butterfly wings. “I just care about your opinion, Professor Kim, if you can’t tell.”
“Right...” His eyes trail to the messy display of pens and papers spread out across his desk—anything to avoid your gaze. Its intensity has multiplied a thousandfold and threatens to melt him like a popsicle in the sun. He ignores the surge of anxious heat flowing through his veins.
“I mean,” you continue, lips pursed. “Who doesn’t love hearing a little bit of praise every once in a while, right?”
Your statement hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity. His shirt suddenly squeezes his torso. His pants suffocate his thighs. The room feels like a furnace and dizzying all at once, but the tension in the air keeps him in the moment.
“What are you doing?” he finally asks.
All the blood drains from your face and your limbs freeze. You hold your hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, professor. I didn’t mean to—“
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” warns Taehyung. A new fire fuels his gaze. With his thick brows, chiseled face, and beautiful black hair to match, your professor is a flame and you’ve been dying to get burned since you first laid eyes on him.
You pull off your hoodie and toss it onto the ground behind you. With a small tug of your index finger, you adjust the spaghetti straps of your pink tank top, underneath which you wear no bra. Your nipples prick at the thin fabric that stretches with each of your breaths.
“You deserve so much more than a little bit of praise,” he murmurs, erasing any doubts over your advances towards him.
“I do?”
“Mmhmm. Especially since you’ve been such a good girl.”
This man couldn’t possibly be the same one that lectured your class all semester. Something sinful replaces the innocent, awkward mannerisms you’ve grown to know over time. No more does he hesitate with his words or actions. Instead, he leans towards the camera with his shoulders pushed back. You’re greeted by his neck and the tan slope of his chest that hides beneath the loose collar of his button-down. You want nothing more than to rip off his shirt with your bare hands. For now, you can only imagine what lies beneath.
“Good girls deserve rewards,” he says with a swipe of his tongue across his plump bottom lip, snapping you out of your daze.
“What should I do?” you ask and glance at your closed bedroom door. Fortunately, you locked it before the call started. You don’t want any intrusions from your roommate.
“You should wind down and take care of yourself. You’ve been working so hard.” His eyes dart down to your tank top. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s me worshipping your chest.”
Your eyes fall closed as your hands drift to the hem of your top. Your fingertips graze your stomach and stop when your skin begins to slope up into the mounds of your breasts. “What would you do if you were here with me right now?”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “I’d make it my mission to kiss every part of you but first, I’d focus on those beautiful breasts of yours. They’d fit in my hands perfectly.”
With your left hand, you grasp one breast and tighten your grip just the slightest bit. The squeeze forces a sigh from your lips and although your eyes are closed, Taehyung struggles to control his own breathing as he watches you begin to unfold. With the other hand, you bring two fingers to your mouth and coat them in saliva only to bring them down to your nipples which harden with each squeeze and stroke.
Taehyung swallows in anticipation. “Just like that. Keep going.”
“Wait, what about you?” you ask, voice raspy and slightly out of breath.
“What about me?”
“I’m not the only one who deserves a reward.”
“Watching you wriggle and writhe in desire is enough for me.”
You cross your arms. “Nope.”
He chuckles. “What do you suggest I do, then?”
“I want you to fuck yourself with your hand and imagine it’s my pussy squeezing the life out of you.”
Your words knock the air out of Taehyung’s lungs but he manages to recover quickly. “You may be a good girl but you’ve got a dirty mouth.”
You smirk. “What are you going to do about it?”
The sound of his metal belt buckle clinks from his end. “Touch yourself right now. Play with your clit and we’ll see if you’ve still got that nasty mouth of yours when you’re begging me to cum.”
You raise your brows. “I fully intend on cumming at least once in your presence tonight, professor, whether I have your permission or not.”
“Call me Taehyung.” He takes a moment to reflect on the current situation versus the dynamic you had only minutes ago. “Why now? Why did you initiate—”
“My grades go above all else. I didn’t want to jeopardize any of that,” you answer. “And I also waited for your sake.”
“My sake? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were doing this to secure your grades,” he muses.
“Nothing boosts my ego like getting an A-plus based solely off my hard work,” you answer. “Fucking my hot professor is for my own personal pleasure.”
You description makes it sound so typical, just another everyday thing like washing the dishes. Are you using him? Deep inside, the thought of you using him arouses him. He wants to be used by you.
“You’re gorgeous,” he whispers, suddenly absorbed by you and the way you carefully orchestrated this interaction. How long did you think about this moment? Were you afraid of rejection?
“I know. Everyone likes me but I always want what I can’t have.” You wink. “Life’s more fun that way.”
Fun. “Enough talk. Let me see.”
“Yes, of course,” you stutter, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. You don’t mind his demands or commanding tone. In fact, you invite them.
“Slide back,” he instructs you. “I want to see everything.”
You swallow and obey immediately, rising to pull your chair further away from the camera. You take the chance to slip off your sweatpants which leaves you in nothing but your underwear and tank top. Your underwear isn’t fancy but it’s what’s below that he’s interested in.
You lower yourself onto the seat, not bothering to keep your legs pressed together. You spread your knees slowly, as if your legs were a book with pages waiting to be read.
“Good. Open up more and show me how bad you want it,” he says. The smile in his voice urges you on.
Your hand creeps along the stretchy waistband of your underwear. The material works against you, forcing your wrist against your pelvis and the area you so desperately wish to touch. You have to be patient since you seek to milk this moment for as long as possible.
Your middle finger searches for any sign of dampness and you gasp when you find a small pool already built up at your core. When you look back at the monitor to see what he’d like you to do next, you watch as he adjusts himself into a similar position to yours.
“Your turn. Take off your shirt,” you instruct.
He raises his eyebrows. A mischievous smile dawns on his face. “Why?”
“Because I said so.”
“So demanding. That’s what got us here in the first place,” he remarks but proceeds to unbutton his shirt.
“I’m not afraid to go out and get what I want.”
“I know, and I admire you for it,” he says. His shirt begins to crinkle as he unbuttons lower and lower until eventually, the front parts to reveal his chest. His abs are soft and his warm honey skin looks smooth. You wonder what it would it taste like.
As he rolls up his sleeves, you observe every movement of his hands. They’re large. One of the first things you noticed about him when he spoke in class and lead discussions. You always wondered what his hands would look like if they were doing something else entirely... Now, your fantasies have come to life.
You force your jaw closed but he’s already caught you staring. “Like what you see?” he asks through his low lids.
“Oh, please. As if you don’t know you’re attractive as hell.”
A low laugh emerges from the man and you smile. If only you could bottle it up and keep it. When he reaches into his pants, you follow along, taking the slick from your finger up to your clit in one smooth stroke. You hum and bite at your lips to contain your reaction.
He shakes his head. “Don’t hide it. You sound beautiful.”
Your other hand starts to wander as you go to work on your clit. From your head to your chest, you seek something to ground you as your soft bud puffs with pleasure. No longer does it hide, tucked away beneath the crevices of your lips. You grind against it using your hand and a slow swivel of your hips from left to right.
“You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you,” coos Taehyung. “Your body was made for this. For pleasure.”
The sight of him gripping the base of his cock is almost enough to send you over. A light glaze of sweat builds on your forehead but you make no effort to wipe it. Taehyung wishes to feel the heat of your body on his. It’s probably better than anything he could ever imagine.
Perhaps now more than ever, he longs for the days before the virus took over and broke everyone apart. He misses those times so much he could cry, especially since he took them for granted. At the same time though, he thinks about the effort those close to him have made to keep in contact. Even old friends he hadn’t spoken to in years called to catch up with him. His students have stuck out the most out of anyone. One or two of them don’t even own laptops but they show up to class on time and bring their A-game. He believes he should take a note or two from them.
As he studies you, the way you squirm in delight, and the way your body responds to the ministrations of your hand, a wave of relief washes over him. If it weren’t for these circumstances, he wouldn’t have had this moment with you.
“Taehyung,” you moan, bringing him back.
The sound of you calling his name shoots heat straight to his cock. With the precum glistening at the top, he grabs his cock and works the tip using his thumb. “Fuck. Look at what you do to me,” he groans at the sensitivity.
“Please,” you take in a breath and continue, “t-tell me more.”
If praise is what you want, praise is what you’ll get. “You’re so hardworking in everything that you do. Look at you now. Touching yourself just for me.”
“Yes, yes.” You moan as your fingers settle into the one position that feels like you’ve struck gold.
“How far inside can those fingers go? I bet you can put them in real deep.”
It’s as though your hands were waiting for his approval. You slip inside your clenching, gaping hole using two fingers. They slide in easily but the initial stretch is foreign since it’s been so long.
Taehyung groans and for the first time tonight, you begin to see him lose control. His cool exterior sinks into the pleasure of his hand—and of you—leaving him a sweaty, desirable mess. His hair sticks to his forehead and his stomach clenches with each stroke of his hand. He moves slowly, trying to match the pace of your hand. You pick up speed and allow your body to move against the rhythm of your hand. Your insides feel warm and soft and slippery. You close your eyes and imagine he’s the one fingering you with those gorgeous hands of his.
The rubber band of pleasure in your stomach begins to stretch. The squelch of your pussy grows louder with each passing second.
Taehyung is well-endowed but never did you imagine his dick would expand so much in length and girth. He could spear your pussy in one fell swoop, destroying your insides and anything else that gets in his way.
“Taehyung, I’m close,” you say with a sigh. You barely have the energy to speak.
“Fuck, me too,” he adds. “I’m almost there. Cum with me.”
His hand travels from base to tip and each part of the journey is smoother than the last. He massages each vein and ripple and moves even faster when he catches a glimpse of the uneven quiver of your thighs. Heat churns in his stomach and all he can do is chase it desperately. He needs it like oxygen, to breathe in the sight of you along with the pleasure of his nether regions.
The rubber band snaps. It strikes you in waves, each crash stronger the last. You let the waves overtake you and succumb to the burst of pleasure spreading through your limbs. You pull out your hand and clench around nothing as the sensitivity forces your legs closed.
Just when you thought things were over, Taehyung makes a request: “Taste it.”
You waste no time in taking your fingers to your mouth, gliding your tongue on the pads of your fingertips, and spreading the salty fluid in your mouth. All you can focus on is the heavenly sight of Taehyung coming. Each breath he lets out comes with a moan. You swear you can feel the vibration of his low voice against your own chest. His hair covers his eyes but you know they’re closed in pleasure. He intakes one sharp breath before it finally takes him over.
He can feel nothing but release. Release of stress. Release of work. Release of anything except you. As white spurts of cum squirt from his dick in a messy stream of strings, all you can think about is the beauty of his body.
“This was fun,” you admit with a smile. “I’m glad my attempt didn’t flop.”
“No, that would’ve been a huge mistake on my part.”
As you look down, your eyelashes brush the top of your cheeks and you bite your lip in anticipation. “I know I’m graduating and all, but we should do this again sometime. If you’re interested.”
He rests his elbows on his desk and brings himself closer to the camera. With his hand holding the side of his face, he takes in the sweet sight of you. “Did you enjoy it that much?”
“Oh yes. In fact, unlike some people, I’d give you an A-plus.”
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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Corpse Infested
Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing
Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤
For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.
Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.
I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.
Well....not very soon by the looks of it...
I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.
Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.
Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.
*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?
Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.
As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.
I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 
Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.
“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.
“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“
I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.
Oh for fuck’s sake!
“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.
“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.
“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“
“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“
Oh crap, here we go.
“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!
“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.
“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.
“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“
“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.
“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.
So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?
“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.
Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.
“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.
Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“
“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.
I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.
“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“
Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”
“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.
Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.
But streaming
But sleeping properly
But having a normal life again
Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.
@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse
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potteresque-ire · 3 years
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hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?
Hello! I apologise for the late reply!  You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.
First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.
Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形”  (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.
There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.
It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.
Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.
I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.
So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.
Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?
I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.
IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.
As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.
To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.
What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.
This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.
Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?
Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.
By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.
Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death. 
Take...COVID. (I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)
I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic? 
(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.) 
(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)
You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.
Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:
1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?
2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?  
(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)
(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)
Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.
The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).
Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!
Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .
They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.
In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?
The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language. 
Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.
In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.
How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:
D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.
D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.
D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.
D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the  National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.
These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).
Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.
So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.
If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority. 
What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.
It isn’t qualified.
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itsscaredycat · 3 years
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hi i love ur art but i noticed u post quite frequently! any tips on avoiding art burnout/dealing with it?
well, these past two weeks have been kind of an outlier for me in that i haven’t worked my job at all, on account of being in quarantine
i’m finished with it now though, fortunately covid free! but unfortunately i have to go back to work tomorrow 😔 so i’ll be online a bit less
as for burnout, honestly i don’t really feel it often when i’m in a hyperfixation; drawing mcyt and dsmp stuff if very enjoyable for me and therefore i don’t really get tired of it! sorry that’s probably not helpful, but i guess my advice is don’t force yourself to draw things you don’t want to! draw what makes you happy and burnout will happen less, in my opinion 😄
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bitchesgetriches · 3 years
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Hello Piggy and Kitty.
Thank you for answering my last question. I have somewhat of a rant this time. My mom keeps running off to the eastern side of the state for non necessary reasons, leaving me (a college student doing online school at home because of the pandemic) to watch my high needs brother as our dad has to work and his boss is taking advantage of the pandemic to give him horrible hours. This is absolutly starting to feel like a full time job and soon as she gets back I'm giving her the incentive to stop doing this (as this cut into my college hours so much last quarter I didnt have time for the classes) by informing her I'm going to start charging her 4 dollars an hour on school days. (Our minimum wage is 13.50) if I'd implemented this from just two months ago thatd be 192 dollars. So well see if this works to keep her from doing this, if not hopefully I'll get somewhat paid for the time I cant do college or job searches
Sorry, wanna follow up with, this is not the first (third, fifth) time shes done this. I was his main caretaker for the first four months of the quarantine (and the only reason she started taking care of him is cause I was teaching him that being queer is not bad as I am queer) the issue is that if she leaves there is no other option that I can think of, as he cannot be left on his own and I'm just at the end of my rope balancing my own mental health, schoolwork, job search, and being bounced between being forced to suddenly parent someone half my age (with no current respect or willingness to listen to me, again, for the mom hating queer reason) and being told off by her for parenting him. And she switches between the two randomly! /rant
Charge her at least $10 an hour for childcare during ALL hours, not just the ones you're supposed to be in school. Your brother is a special needs child, and therefore requires specialized care. I understand your (homophobic asshole of a) mom is probably stressed and that's why she wants to get away, but your brother is HER child, not yours. According to state law, it is her legal responsibility to care for him or to hire care for him. Emphasis on "hire." Leaving him in your care without your consent is not cool at all.
The nuclear option here is to get Child Protective Services involved... but this is a dangerous option and should only be used as a last resort. You also might get your dad on your side to confront your mom about this.
Rant to us any time. You're in a tough spot, and I'm so proud of you for focusing on the well-being of your brother and teaching him to be a respectful, caring person.
Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent for Years. Now What?
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oneweekoneband · 3 years
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In the first cold hours of a new December morning, Taylor Swift once again revealed herself to be the primary antagonist in my hero’s journey. Weary and woebegone as I am, I will not waste strength on any attempt to deny that this latest attack has knocked me off balance, but I believe it is important that I—we, really, the lot of us who have been bloodied pitiably beneath this most brutal show of force—rebound immediately into a defensive posture so that there might be any hope at all for survival. Taylor’s second pandemic album will be released at midnight tonight, so I guess Shakespeare and his little “play” about elder abuse can get fucked after all. The album is called evermore. It was hubris, I can see in retrospect, which led me to tempt my enemy by writing all these words about her on this, the week of her birthday, knowing as I do that Taylor is one of those especially dangerous adults who make a big deal about both birthdays and lucky numbers. Icarus is my name now, covered in melted wax and tumbling to the sea. So as to steel ourselves for these horrors yet to come, I offer now, with not arrogance but the faith of the foolhardy, my best conjecture as to the content of each detestable track. 
willow - Could be about a tree. Could be about a girl. More likely it is both somehow, which is extremely pervy, and not just because that’s part of the plot of the unspeakably cursed The Raven Cycle novels, which I, a full blown adult with, generally speaking, normal brain function, voluntarily read for the first time this summer because some of us, ma’am, used the pandemic for activities that hurt only ourselves, not others. Well, happy holidays, tree fuckers.
champagne problems - Whatever this is, know that I will be considering it a work after Fall Out Boy’s “Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends” and I’ll be right to do so and many people will say as much admiringly and they’ll smile at me with pride and doff their caps as I go.
gold rush - If this song is anything but a loving, comprehensive summation of the children’s novel DEAR AMERICA Seeds of Hope: The Gold Rush Diary of Susanna Fairchild then I’m going to walk directly out of my home and, deadly virus be damned, keep walking until I’ve entered Taylor Swift’s instead, at which point I will begin to scream out a litany of complaints at the very top of my voice, ceasing only when her security team kills me or we fall in love.
tis the damn season - Worst case scenario this is a sad Christmas song (the best kind of Christmas song) and it devastates me in the most degrading way possible. Best case scenario it’s really bad and dumb and I can live without pain.
tolerate it - Many possibilities here. Could be about white-knuckling it through a period of depression, or a breakup. Most obviously, it could be about COVID-19 lockdowns keeping us trapped in our homes, disconnected from loved ones, going slow-brained and strange, bowls piling up, and suddenly so desperate for human interaction that even memories of having drinks with somebody from Hinge who quoted Friends twice in an hour are tantalizing in comparison to the touch-starved dreamstate of staying indoors... But I kinda feel like this is Taylor replying “COPE” from on high to my tweets about how I would rather be boiled alive than have to face the existence of this record.
no body, no crime (feat. Haim) - What would be very good is if this is a homosexual romp about Taylor Swift and the one hot Haim guitar girl with the really gay energy doing a murder together a la “Somethin’ Bad” by Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood, but honestly, it is probably another song about Gone Girl.
happiness - Impossible to speak on this since, thanks to Taylor Swift, happiness is something with which I have no familiarity. 
dorothea - Have seen chirping on the odious bird application about how perhaps this song title suggests that Taylor has written a song about Middlemarch, titling it for Dorothea Brooke, but I reject this because it implies that Taylor has read Middlemarch, which is a premise I cannot accept. Whether this refusal is out of self-preservation, being unwilling and in fact unable to face a world where Taylor Swift read and was moved to creation by the novel which was my most essential friend the summer I got dumped by a guy who I still had to work feet away from in a candle factory for another month, and about which Emily Dickinson (Emily Dickinson whose birthday it happens to be today, which isn’t to say that this means anything about anything. I am simply trying to batten down all hatches literally and spiritually in light of having been had once again by this numerology obsessed demon) once wrote "What do I think of Middlemarch? What do I think of glory.” or because I just at my core do not believe that Taylor has read a single book since Gone Girl I couldn’t possibly say.
coney island (feat. The National) : Some ungodly americana ass bullshit that is going to ruin my life. The thought of holy terror shaped like a horse girl Taylor Swift and trickster nymph in the body of a tax accountant Matt Berninger, two individuals I have allowed, separately, to cause me grievous psychic harm, having even the barest amount of one to one contact, even digitally, has made me want to peel all my skin off and put it back on flipped inside out so that I might, when I look in the mirror, see a version of myself which approximates how I feel.
ivy - Another song for the plant lesbians. That’s fine, and I’m happy for that community, but what I want to know, looking at this growing pile of songs named after women, is where, Taylor, is the song about loudmouth queen Inez, legendary gossip and, for my money, the star of folklore?  
cowboy like me - Putting it as mildly as humanly possible, to slit my throat would be less cruel. I am drawing a straight line from me writing illegible sequels to perfect film An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (itself a sequel) in crayon as a toddler, to Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” on the radio in my mom’s two door Honda, to me everyday after school in third grade changing into the cowboy costume my godmother bought, to me at fourteen internalizing a sense of righteous indignation that would take years to even begin to outgrow when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture, to the winter I dropped half my classes out of fear and sickness and read paperback westerns on the twenty third floor of the college library for tens of hours at a go, to the profoundly gay episode of Supernatural called “Tombstone” which is, yes, named for the profoundly gay cowboy film Tombstone, to the inspired and revitalizing pause in “Space Cowboy” by Kacey Musgraves where she’s like, “You can have your space........ cowboy”, to Mitski’s Be the Cowboy, to the perfect boygenius cover of certified classic “Cowboy Take Me Away”, to whatever the hell this is going to be.That line is not to make a point at all. It’s just that there is a line and beside it there is me, incapacitated.
long story short - Just like all the other times anyone has ever invoked this phrase in the entire history of human beings expressing themselves with language, it is going to be a huge lie, because this woman never shuts up.
marjorie - After all that Taylor has put me through over the years, she should have at least named one of these wretched things “ellen” after my dead Sagittarian grandmother, whose birthday is tomorrow, December 11th, which is again, the release date of Taylor Swift’s second album in sixth months, but it’s probably for the best that she didn’t because you simpletons would immediately think it was an homage to George Bush’s friend Dory the fish, and therefore gay, regardless of the actual text of the song, and it’d be the “betty” massacre all over again. That being said, this is almost assuredly another horny song about some mid-century white lady. Only days ago Taylor was telling Entertainment Weekly that she’s been watching a lot of movies in quarantine, and while she didn’t name 1958’s Marjorie Morningstar starring Natalie Wood, I wouldn’t put it past her.
closure - God, I hope this one is another Kaylor classic so we can all act like complete raving lunatics online from the confines of our own plague quarters for a few days. It’s been a hard year.
evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - I’ll be catatonic by this point. Who cares?
right where you left me - Yes, in hell.
it’s time to go - Yes, TO HELL.
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the-creative-lie · 4 years
Text
Quarantined
pairings: steve rogers x reader; nat x bucky if you squint
genre/warnings: the fluffiest fluff
word count: 2.3k
summary:  Steve and the reader are quarantined together and dancing around their feelings for each other, so Buck and Nat decide to take matters into their own hands.
notes: based on an ao3 request. we could all use a little steve love right now lol
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 “This is the fourth time I’ve found you like this,” you hear Steve say. Honestly, how does he manage to be cute even upside down? From this angle, his disapproving frown almost seems like a smiley face.  Oh right, upside down. You’ve been laying on the couch, legs up, head dangling over the ground, for the past twenty minutes or so. You are certain your face is ruby red right now and you’re starting to feel a little bit dizzy, but the whole world is on quarantine goddamit, and you’re bored.
 “I heard sending a bunch of blood to your brain is supposed to make you smarter,” you justify, coming out of your not-so-comfortable posture and laying your now throbbing head on the armrest of the couch. He sits on the other end, lifting your legs and putting them back down on top of his knees.
 “And who exactly told you that?” he asks amused.  You look away, rolling your eyes at your own stupidity. “Bucky,” you mumble.
 “And you believed him?”
 “No. Well, yeah. But I’m not smart, that’s why I was doing this in the first place! That was the whole point!”
 “Seriously, Y/N. It doesn’t work.”
 “How do you know? You’re not smart either!” you protest. His nose wrinkles and his mouth forms a perfect O.
 “Excuse you?” he exclaims, pretending to be offended.
 You smirk. “I said what I said, Rogers.”
  His eyes twinkle with mischief and you frown, confused. Before you can ask him what the hell is going on in that blonde head of his, he grabs your legs and throws you off the couch. You groan from the floor and send him a glare. He giggles. Captain America giggled. And he looks so pretty when he does that. It’s kind of unfair.
 “I’m going to try to clean out my closet for like, the seventh time this week,” you huff “Feel free to come help me, if you’re bored.”
 “Sure. I’ll be right there,” he smiles, as he watches you leave for your room.
 From the kitchen, Bucky Barnes just stares in utter disbelief as his best friend sits on the couch with the goofiest grin plastered on his face, looking at the empty spot you just left beside him. He can tell Steve is head over heels for you, and Nat has already told him about your huge crush on him. He can put two and two together, but apparently you lovebird idiots can’t, because you’ve been dancing around each other since the quarantine started. And he’s starting to get bored too. So, he does the only thing that could make this lockdown more interesting and gives himself a mission. Well, him and Nat. There’s no way he’s doing any of this without her help.
                                   **********************************
 “I can’t believe you still have this,” Steve laughs, as he unfolds an old t-shirt that was rolled into a ball in the back of your closet. It’s a very old shirt, and to be fair, you bought it as a joke. It sports a very discolored picture of his shield on the front.
 You snort. “I just wear it to bed sometimes. It turned out to be incredibly comfy.” That’s totally true. I mean, yeah, it could also be the fact that it reminds you of him, but no. No, definitely the levels of comfort the t-shirt provides are what drove you to grab it in those five minutes when you packed as fast as possible before leaving the Avengers Tower for good, when the Accords mess was in full swing and when you decided to follow Steve Rogers to the end of the world and back.   It’s been a few months since that, and yeah, you are fugitives now, but honestly? It’s not so bad. You, Steve, Bucky and Nat got yourselves a small house on the mountains for the time being. You’re near a small town that you go to when you need supplies. Truth be told, it wasn’t like you’d go out a lot before the quarantine started, trying not to show your faces too much and all that, but you could still go for a walk, buy dinner somewhere. But isolation hits differently when it’s not by choice.
 “I still don’t get why you bought it though.” He places down the t-shirt and takes a sip off his mug. Currently you are both sitting on the ground, in your room, drinking coffee and laughing at your poor fashion sense. Hey, a lady can only do so much when running away from the law okay?
 “I just thought it’d be funny,” you say, folding some jeans and starting to make a pile. “Also the lady at the store didn’t recognize me at first, and that was hilarious. I got to pretend to be one of your fangirls, remember?”
 His face goes red and he covers it with his hand, embarrassed. “Of course I remember. I was there. You asked for a selfie with me and started to fake cry. ”
 “HA. I forgot about that part.”
 “I remain impressed by the fact that you can cry on command, by the way. ”
 “What can I say, Stevie? I’m an actor,” you say theatrically, standing up and bowing as if on stage. Steve starts clapping and wooing.
 “Then I’m your number one fan,” he replies. You stare at him, stammering for a moment before regaining composure. You two are always doing this, even more so now that you are forced to spend basically 24/7 together. You flirt, he flirts back, someone blushes. He says an amazing one liner; you’re left with your heart racing and your stomach doing flips. But it’s just friendly banter, right? It’s just the fact that you’re locked up together and that the only two other humans you guys see on a daily basis are Russian assassins.  Speaking of Russian assassins, your train of thought gets interrupted by Nat screaming from the living room that her and Bucky are about to facetime with Sam and that you two should get your tushies to the couch.  Yeah, she actually said tushies. Isolation is doing things to her.
 “Sam, babe, how you doin’?” You shout, climbing over Bucky to get the good spot on the couch. He bats a hand at you, annoyed, and you stick out your tongue at him. He sucker punches you in the arm but just when you’re about to pull his hair, Steve easily lifts you up like you’re made of paper and scoots you away from Buck. Sometimes you forget how strong he actually is.
 “Behave, children. Uncle Sam is on the FaceTime.” You lock eyes with Nat and you both let out a laugh.
 “THE FaceTime?” you ask, giggling.
 Steve frowns, confused. “Isn’t it called the FaceTime? That’s what you said last time.”
 “It’s just FaceTime, Steve. No the,” Nat corrects him.
 “Man, c’mon. We talked about this, Rogers. You did the same thing with the Google and it drove me crazy for like a month,” Sam chimes in from the screen.
 “Yeah, Steve. Get with the times, old man.”
 “Buck, we’re the same age.”
 “Yeah, but I’m hip and modern.”
  You roll your eyes. “The fact that the words hip and modern just left your mouth disqualifies you immediately, Barnes.”
 He huffs and returns his attention to Sam. “How about you, Birdman? How you holding up?”
 “Things are pretty chill, I guess. I’m using the FaceTime to have online meetings with the therapy groups. It’s not the same, and of course we’d wish we could have a more personal contact as usual, but we’re doing what we can, you know. Trying to get used to the new normal.”
 “Is the FaceTime going to be a thing now?” Steve groans, “Fuck, this one’s sticking right? I’m gonna regret it?”
 “Language,” you say, trying not to laugh. He just glares at you.
 Sam is, thankfully, not a fugitive. The government considered (after a few pulled strings and a trending hashtag on the Twitter) that he could be pardoned of his crimes, based on the fact that he did a lot of important work on the community; and that his participation on the whole Accords debacle wasn’t so big, and therefore, could be swept under the rug.  You four, on the other hand, were not as lucky. After all, here you are, aren’t you? In the middle of Germany, or Canada, or who knows at this point.
 “Anyways, guys, I just wanted to check on you. Y’all know this things can’t last very much or you risk exposure. I’m glad you’re all okay, and I’ll try calling again as soon as I can without raising suspicion. Take care!"
 A chorus of goodbyes and take cares erupts from the couch, and the screen turns black.
 You get up, stretching your back. “Well, I’m gonna take a shower. If you guys are hungry just have dinner without me, I’ll have something later,” you state, heading to the bathroom you all share.
 The only problem with you leaving is that Steve is now left alone between two giddy assassins, who both look at him like they’re Cheshire cats. Frankly, it’s terrifying.
 Steve gulps, considering running and risking his life by breaking the quarantine instead of dying here on this couch, because he already knows what’s coming. Every time you’re gone and the three of them are alone, the conversation always shifts to…
 “So, Y/N huh?”
 “Smooth, Buck.”
 “You’re the talker, woman, you do the talking!”
 “And what are you supposed to be?”
 “I’m the muscle. In case he tries to run away.”
 Oh no, there goes his only plan. Poor Steve.
 Natasha turns to him and stares him down, “Rogers, when are you going to tell that woman you’re in love with her?”
 “We- I- huh. Whenever I have time.”
 “You’re on goddamn quarantine. There’s nothing but time.”
 “Yeah. Loads of time.”
 “Seriously, if only you removed your head from your tushie for a little bit you would see she clearly feels the same.”
 “That’s right. Head, tush. That’s a no-no.”
 “This is your chance, Rogers. Y/N’s super stressed out with the locked down, she’s practically climbing up the walls. Do something nice for her, and tell her how you feel.”
 “Be a gentleman, yo.”
 “Barnes I thought we agreed I’d do the talking.”
 “Alright, damn. I was just trying to help. Also what is it with you saying tushie now? ”
 “IT’S A QUARANTINE THING!”
 Before things could get any further (or worse, for all that matters), Steve stands up and shuts both super spies up, “Okay, fine. I’ll do it. You’re right. Just, huh. Go to your rooms, please? I need to think.”
 Natasha smirks at him, “Sure thing, dad. Come on, James, let’s go watch some crap TV show in my room.”
 Steve looks around, panicked. And then he has an idea.
                              *********************************************
 After getting out of the shower and putting on some fuzzy pajamas and, why not, the infamous Captain America t-shirt, you head to the kitchen in search for some late night dinner slash snack. The lights seem to be out, so you assume the gang already ate and went to bed. But what surprises you when you get to the living room is the tiny table where you usually have breakfast, simply adorned with a white tablecloth and one of those crappy candles you guys keep in the bottom drawer in case there’s a blackout.  And standing next to it all, in his own fuzzy pajamas, is Steven Grant Rogers, looking like he’s about to pass out but still standing, and holding a piece of paper.
 “Steve? What’s all this?”
 He just starts to ramble, “Okay so. Huh. I’ve been trying to say something to you for quite a while now. And lately the voices in my head, that sound a lot like Bucky and Nat by the way, would not shut up about it. And I just thought, you know what? We’re on a goddamn quarantine. The world apparently has its own plans, and does whatever it wants, it’s not gonna wait for me. So fuck it. I’m saying it.”
 “Saying what?” you breathe out, heart pounding on your chest.
 “I’m in love with you, Y/N,” he smiled softly, raising his eyebrows as if to say and I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.
 You’re speechless. He stares at you and starts panicking, “Oh God. Huh, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I- This was all so stupid, and I just put you on the spot and- oh no, now you’re trapped with me because of the quarantine. I’m so sorry, I’ll just stay locked in my room so you won’t have to see me and Bucky can just pass me some crackers through the door-”.
 You cut his rambling, “Steve. It’s okay.”
 “No, it’s not, I shouldn’t have listened to them-”
 “Steve, I’m in love with you too.”
 He looks up at you like a deer in headlights, “You are?”
 “Yeah,” you shrug, smiling.
 He frowns, “Why?”
 “Must be all that blood going to my head, ” you close the distance between you two and wrap your arms around his neck, “Guess it just made me dumber.”
 “I’ll have to thank Bucky for that.”
 “Could you stop talking about Barnes and kiss me already?” he laughs and leans down to kiss you, sweet and gentle, and suddenly everything makes sense.
 You separate a little, arms still around him and look around.
 “What’s all this?”
 “Well I was going to ask you out, but because of the quarantine we can’t really go out,” he explains, sheepish, “So I thought we could go in, you know?” He lets go of you and points at a plate on the table, “Also, we´re having sandwiches for dinner because we haven’t gone on the supply run yet. And since I can’t buy you flowers- ”, he hands you the piece of paper, a bouquet of wild flowers beautifully drawn.
 “Steve, these are so pretty. This is perfect, it’s all perfect,” you beam.
 He brings out a chair for you, “Shall we?”
 You laugh. Maybe quarantine is not that bad.
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alj4890 · 3 years
Text
Prompt Request
(Thomas Hunt x OC*Amanda) taken from A Second Chance storyline with the prompt, things you said when you thought I was asleep as requested by @krsnlove​
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(Thomas Hunt x OC*Amanda) in a Choices Red Carpet Diaries drabble.
A/N I had a few ideas about this prompt for these two in this particular AU and finally decided on this one. I always loved how awkward Thomas starts out as a father in this particular AU, even though Kathleen immediately adores him. I thought this prompt would be perfect after Amanda tells him they are now expecting twins.
@lxaah11​ @alleksa16​ @penguininapinktuxedo​ @blackcoffee85​ @stopforamoment​  @hopefulmoonobject​   @krsnlove​   @annekebbphotography​ @hopelessromantic1352​ . @sunflowergirl05​  @desireepow-1986​ @greywitchyshots​ @lilyoffandoms​ @moodyvalentinestories​ @emceesynonymroll @my-heart-beats-for-ya @aworldoffandoms @ab1901  @flyawayboo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker . @trappedinfanfiction  @kate-mckenzie @cordoniaqueensworld @everythingmarvelsherlockspn
Masterlist
Introduction
"Pregnant?" Thomas breathed. "Are you certain?"
Amanda handed him one of the ultrasounds. She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet while keeping her hands behind her back.
He stared down at the alien like creature, unsure what he was exactly looking at.
"That's the first one." She said softly.
He tilted the photo, squinting at the lumpy potato like figure.
She placed another image on top of that one. "And this is its twin."
Thomas froze in the midst of hoping this new image would actually resemble a human baby.
"Twin?" His eyes searched her face to see if she was joking. "We're having twins now?"
She nodded, waiting on him to say how thrilled he was. "Quarantine has been a very productive time for us."
Thomas collapsed on the sofa while looking once more at this plot twist they had created.
Amanda bit her lip and eased down beside him. "You are happy, aren't you?"
"I am, exceedingly so." He placed his arm around her, hugging her close to his side. "I'm simply in a great deal of shock." He blinked a few times as the images blurred. "I expected us to get pregnant since we were trying but nothing remotely like multiples crossed my mind."
"Aren't you excited?" Amanda prodded. "You missed out on so much during Kathleen's infancy and toddlerhood. Now you'll get to experience it with double the fun."
"Twins." He repeated. "We're having twins.
Thomas caused a startled laugh to escape her lips when he surprised her with a passionate kiss.
"You," he smiled at her, "are the master of surprises when it comes to our children."
*************
"When will they get here?" Kathleen asked. "Will they look the same? Will I have two brothers or two sisters?"
"Hold on, sweetheart." Amanda laughed at all the questions that were tumbling out. "We won't know for a few months what they are. But they should be here later this summer."
"I can't wait!" Kathleen studied the ultrasounds then glanced at her mother's stomach. "I wish we could see them."
"We might not be able to see them yet, but that doesn't mean we can't talk to them." Amanda explained. "I used to talk to you all the time when I was pregnant."
Thomas lowered the pregnancy book he was reading. "Isn't it a little early for them to hear?" He flipped a few pages back. "Says here that the ears don't develop until around fourteen to sixteen weeks."
"That never stopped me." Amanda shrugged. "I was talking to Kathleen from the moment the pregnancy test came out positive."
"You were?" Kathleen beamed at that. "What did you say?"
"All sorts of things." Amanda cuddled her close. "I would read books to you. Tell you what I was doing. Shared stories about my life. Pleaded with you to let me eat my favorite foods." She made her daughter laugh when she tickled her. "And you let your opinion be heard loud and clear on that last one."
"What should I tell them?" Kathleen asked.
"Whatever you want." Amanda replied. "You could always introduce yourself. Talk about your day. Anything, really."
Kathleen leaned down and said hello. "I'm your sister and I like..." She went through all the different things she liked from dance classes to only ketchup on her hamburgers.
Thomas watched her with a soft smile on his face. He didn't know which he loved seeing more: Amanda's unmistakable joy or Kathleen's sweet excitement.
"Aren't you going to talk to them, Daddy?" Kathleen asked.
He hesitated. "Of course."
His two ladies simply stared at him in anticipation.
"Right now?" He thought it was a little silly to talk to his wife's slight baby bump. "I think I'll wait until they can clearly hear me."
His wife and daughter both had identical expressions of confusion with just a hint of disappointment on their faces.
Unable to take another moment of letting either of his ladies down, he moved over to the couch and cleared his throat.
"Good evening." He searched for something else to say.
"Talk through Mommy's bellybutton, Daddy." Kathleen told him.
"It isn't a microphone." Amanda's belly trembled with her suppressed laughter.
"It might be." Kathleen scrunched her shoulders while smiling at her parents. "Daddy, tell them you make movies."
Feeling heat rise up the back of his neck, Thomas tried to follow her directions as he spoke a few more times.
He felt ridiculous.
Sensing his inability to think of topics to discuss, Amanda told Kathleen that it was bedtime to end this awkward session for him.
After accompanying them upstairs, Thomas escaped to his study under the guise of needing to work on his upcoming online lecture series.
*****************
Later that night, he climbed the stairs to check on them.
Kathleen was fast asleep with her fairy lights on a slow twinkle speed. He gently tucked the covers around her, grinning when she snuggled further under them.
He then went in search of Amanda.
Thomas found his wife already asleep in their bedroom. He carefully removed the novel she had been reading from under her hands and marked her spot for her. He reached to turn the lamp off but paused when his attention drifted down to her stomach.
With one last glance to make certain his wife was asleep, he knelt by her side of the bed and started to talk to their unborn children.
"Forgive me for that lackluster introduction earlier this evening. I'm not certain how we should go about this. I've never enjoyed one-sided conversations. Lectures are fine, but it does help to see the person's face while speaking directly to them. Not that it is either of your faults that you can't interact with me yet. For all I know you are responding in some manner and I am simply unaware of it."
He rubbed a hand down his face as he struggled to find something worthwhile to say to his children. "In case I forgot to mention who I am, I'm Thomas...your father." He softly groaned at his unrelenting awkwardness. "Of course, that is most likely a given since you already heard my voice and those of your mother and sister."
He checked once more to see if Amanda was still asleep before continuing. His gaze touched on her lips parted in sleep, her long eyelashes, the rosy tint of her cheeks.
With a smile dawning on his face, he leaned closer to her belly. "Perhaps I should tell you about how I met your mother."
He lowered his voice. "It was late one evening at a party. I should pause here and state for the record that I usually don't enjoy attending those type of events. But it was hosted by someone I actually consider a friend, therefore I was forced to accept the invitation."
He rolled his eyes at the memory of Ryan wearing him down. "Back to the party, I was standing off in a corner in an attempt to avoid another confrontation with a woman I had previously dated." He cleared his throat. "That might need to remain between us. Your mother is unaware of the reason why I was hiding out in dark corners that night. Anyway, I happened to overhear an argument from a couple that were a few feet away from me."
"Well, I thought they were a couple." Thomas muttered. "But in reality the man was a friend of your mother's and one who shares my dislike of crowded events."
He paused there so that he could carefully climb into bed without disturbing Amanda.
"Where was I? Ah. Yes. One look at your mother had me tempted to leave my hiding spot. There was something about her that I have never been able to find a clear explanation for. There still is that something that captures and holds my attention with little effort on her part. It isn't simply her beauty or her personality. Perhaps it is some combination of the two along with that mysterious element that continuously draws me to her. You will most likely notice it too once you are here with us."
He tilted his head in thought. "I wonder if you will inherit such a trait." Smiling at the notion, he continued. "So there I was, ready to take a chance of being caught by a woman I didn't care for just for a chance to meet a woman I was instantly attracted to. And it seemed that fortune smiled once more upon me."
He could see the memory so clearly in his mind: Amanda's glittery black dress that shimmered in the light with each movement. The intelligence in her eyes as she quietly observed the party. The peacefulness she somehow exuded while laughter and conversations filled the air.
"Her friend left, claiming to need a drink if he was to endure another hour or two of the party. Your mother then moved further into the shadows near where I was to sit down. There was an empty chair next to her and I asked if I might join her."
When Amanda shifted in her sleep, he lowered his voice. "When she smiled at me, it seemed that all I had been looking for in life was finally in one place. I knew in that moment that this chance meeting was something special. I decided then and there to waste not a single second in doing my utmost to charm her into my arms. And lucky for me, I succeeded."
He noticed how late it was. "I will go into further detail about my winning your mother another night. For now though, know that you both are a part of the best thing to ever happen to me. First off was falling in love with Amanda and winning hers in return. Discovering I had a daughter came next. And now you complete the very definition of my happiness. I will do all within my power to be the father you both need." His lips curved into a smile. "And I can't wait to meet you."
Thomas pressed a feather light kiss to Amanda's stomach and then a tender one to her cheek. Muffling a yawn, he left the bed to change clothes in their bathroom.
When the door clicked shut, Amanda opened her eyes.
"See little ones. I told you your father is endearingly sweet." She whispered. "He just needed a little more time to show it."
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sharkfish · 4 years
Text
late summer recs in the endless year of our lord 2020
masterpost of rec lists /// yeah it’s october  but i’m in texas so it’s still basically summer! 
*~*~*~if you like the fics, give love to the author via kudos and/or comments!!*~*~*~*~ 
under the cut to prevent endless scrolling~ 
8 Reasons by Threshie ***WIP***
Space pilot Dean is caught trying to break Sam out of prison, and ends up tossed into a cell with a half-man, half tentacly monster alien.
Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison (6k)
“His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”
Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”
And He's Oh So Good by @jemariel ***WIP*** - completed, 10/13 chapters posted
Dean Smith is a man of routine, and it's been working very well for him, thank you very much.
Then Castiel walks into his life, and suddenly there's a splash of color that reveals just how gray everything had been before.
Can Dean let himself step out of his comfortable shell and experience the good things in life that he's forgotten about?
A Thousand Lies by @goldenraeofsun (73k)
Dean Winchester is the best con artist in the continental US. Conscripted into the life after a stupid mistake as a teenager, he works for a man only known as the Lightbringer. He specializes in the marriage con, tricking his marks into falling in love with him and bolting after the honeymoon with everything they own.
But the morning before his meticulously planned meet-cute with his newest assignment, he runs into an adorably clueless accountant named Cas in a coffee shop, and Dean’s entire view on life implodes.
Christmas Treats and Angel Heats by @malmuses (20k) 
Angels don't have a sex, or gender, nevermind a secondary gender—right? At least, that's what the Winchesters have been led to believe.
It's Christmas, and Dean misses his angel friend. He's been AWOL for days, and the Winchesters are worried.
When Cas returns to the bunker on Christmas Eve, very clearly in heat, a few of their assumptions are going to have to change.
Oh, and Dean is going to have to hide his feelings for Cas in the face of the news that the angel is an unmated omega, who desperately needs their help.
Merry Christmas, Dean!
Cliché Bingo by noangelsinthegarrison (3k)
Sometimes, Castiel thinks that if he were playing a game of cliché bingo with his own life he’d get a full house within seconds. He’s the smart kid who wears glasses; he’s the Christian who wears sweater vests; he’s the quietest, youngest son in a family of seven and, oh yes, he’s in love with Dean Winchester.
Who just happens to be his best friend. And his neighbour. And a jock. So that’s three in one right there.
Blaze And Fall by @casbeanwrites  (13k)
Dean's not handling his best friend and ex-roommate's "kinks" very well.
Until he learns how to handle them.
Dean Winchester and the Patron Saint of Blind Dates by @goldenraeofsun  (18k)
Dean Winchester's friends are a bunch of traitors. So he had a bad breakup two years ago and hasn't gotten back on the horse. Their intervention - a series of blind dates - can't be the solution.
But if this'll get his friends to stop, Dean can choke down over-priced spaghetti, make forced conversation, and drink whatever random cocktail the blue-eyed weirdo bartender makes for him next.
At least Cas has his back. One nod from Dean, and he'll swoop down from behind the bar and make excuses for Dean to bail. It would be a perfect system - except Dean can't stop trading knowing looks with Cas and focus on his damn dates instead.
From Ashes by kradarua (12k) 
“You’ll be able to use your legs again,” Sam rushed, “just...well, it might take a while.”
Dean exhaled sharply, frustrated, but forced himself to raise his head and take a look.
OR
Dean gets injured on the job, and Castiel falls in love with him by mistake.
Head Down, Walk with Reason by @goldenraeofsun (63k)
As an omega, Castiel is ineligible for the throne after his father dies. When his uncle takes the crown, Metatron's first order of business is to arrange a betrothal with King John for the hand of his firstborn son, the Crown Prince of Terra.
So Castiel flees.
On his first night on the run, Castiel stumbles into a band of outlaws just at the border. Injured and wary, he has no choice to stay with them. And although he had planned to return to his own kingdom once it was safe, home might not be the place he left, but instead with Dean, their alpha leader that took him in.
Russian to the Altar by @malmuses  (144k) 
“I need you to marry Castiel.”
They weren’t the words Dean expected to hear from his business partner’s mouth before their bakery-slash-chocolate shop opened for the day. He’d been quite happy being single—and who the fuck was Castiel, anyway?
It turned out that Castiel was a Russian erotic novelist in need of a ticket to America, and Dean… well, Dean was a last resort.
Save the Drake by VioletHaze (@scones-and-texting-and-murder) (33k)
Encouraged by his best friend Meg to create more connections in his life, Cas jumps into an online discussion surrounding the closing of the Drake, an independent and historic theater in his neighborhood. If nothing else, the confidence Cas gains as he makes a new online friend helps him to be less awkward around the guy in his building that he likes: Dean Winchester.
It’s not like Dean Winchester needs help meeting people, but a hasty decision to comment on a local news article leads him to make a virtual connection. It's a new sort of relationship for Dean, but soon the two of them are chatting all day long. He only wishes getting to know his downstairs neighbor Cas was this simple.
Sparks by vipjuly (21k)
The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It's ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it.
So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. They definitely don't go anywhere near it, either.
Dean, though.
Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity.
Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain't so bad, either.
Y'know. For a monster.
Such Familiar Magic by @saltnhalo (26k)
When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.
He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.
Sugar Stages by VioletHaze (6k)
He heard Dean before he saw him. It was like he brought an energy into the test kitchen that crept under Cas’s skin, an awareness of his carefree attitude that was equal parts calming and infuriating. Still, Cas resisted the urge to turn and look over his shoulder. He knew damn well how the internet talked, the way they “shipped” them, always zeroing in on what they considered lingering looks. He’d seen too many gifs of himself with his eyes photoshopped into hearts not to be aware of the way his every word and action with regard to Dean were being scrutinized.
You Shook Me All Quarantine Long series by @goldenraeofsun (4 fics around 10k each)
A series of quarantine-based one-shots with Creature Cas and Human Dean.
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the-autisticats · 4 years
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Autistic people are often hyper-empathetic, and many of us have experienced trauma at the hands of those meant to protect us. How can we best serve the Black Lives Matter movement, while also ensuring that we care for our mental health?
This is a complicated topic that I don’t have all of the answers to. I’m a white autistic person, so I dont have the same knowledge or lived experiences as Black autistic people. Therefore, everything I write here should be taken with a grain of salt, and you should always defer to the voices of Black autistic people speaking on this issue. Nonetheless, I think it’s important to discuss.
With everything happening around us, and all of the posts on social media about police brutality and systemic racism, autistic people are being exposed to images and experiences that may be deeply upsetting and disturbing to us in a way that is different from the way neurotypical people are upset and disturbed. And for Black autistic people, those visceral emotional responses are probably much more intense.
Several studies have shown that autistic people have more exaggerated empathetic reactions when exposed to the same stimuli as neurotypicals. Our brains are wired for intensity, and so when we see, hear, and experience violence and injustice, our emotional & empathetic responses to those things are often amplified.
On top of that, many of us have been abused and traumatized by parents, teachers, caregivers, therapists, medical professionals, and police officers. There is currently an epidemic of autistic people being killed by our caregivers, and 50% of people killed by police are disabled. So when we see videos of police officers murdering Black people, many of us end up re-living our own trauma at the hands of authority figures.
...
In my case, seeing the video of George Floyd being killed brought back intense memories of my childhood. I mentioned this in a post I made earlier this week, but I think it merits inclusion in this post as well.
When I had meltdowns as a child, my parents would throw me to the floor, pin my legs down & my arms to my sides, roll me up in a blanket so that it functioned like a straightjacket, and then sit on my back. My dad weighs around 190 pounds, and my mom weighs around 125. That was 315 pounds of pressure on my child-sized spine and lungs, during meltdowns where I was hyperventilating anyway. I couldn’t escape because my limbs were immobilized by the blanket. During those moments I was pinned to the ground, lying on my stomach, entirely helpless and struggling for air, overheating and sweating inside the blanket, choking on tears and saliva, while the oxygen was forced out of my lungs.
And I remember the absolute desperation and helplessness I felt when I gasped out the words:
I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!
...
My parents didn’t believe that I couldn’t breathe, because I was telling them that I couldn’t (using air to do so), and therefore I must have been lying. I wasn’t.
Yesterday, I saw that a Mississippi Mayor named Hal Marx tweeted in response to George Floyd’s death, saying “If you can say you can’t breathe, you’re breathing.” (The tweet has since been deleted)
And I was reminded of my parents, responding to my pleas with: “Yes you can,” and “You’re breathing right now, quit exaggerating.”
...
I’m still alive, and George Floyd isn’t. My parents didn’t intend to kill me, but the police intended to kill him. And that’s the difference- an important difference.
Honestly, I’m not sure how to talk about this without centering my own experiences. And maybe there’s no way around that. But my point in talking about this is to explain that autistic people who have been traumatized by authority figures are likely having a very complicated emotional response to current events. I know I am.
Black autistic people in particular, especially those who have experienced similar trauma to me, are probably feeling an added layer of distress and emotional overwhelm right now. Because it’s one thing to experience abuse in the home, but when I leave the house I’m protected by my whiteness. Black autistic people who experience abuse are in danger everywhere.
Autistic people’s hyper-empathy and strong sense of justice can make us great assets to this movement. But we also need to make sure that we’re caring for each other’s physical and emotional health.
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, physical well-being and safety come first. Before we can heal our mental health, we need to care for our physical health. Black people often do not have their base level physical needs met, and it doesn’t matter how much you need to process your trauma if you’re still trying to figure out how to put food on the table.
So, it’s very important for autistic people to engage in mutual aid. Donating to the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network’s Autistic People of Color Fund is a good place to start. And any Black autistic person who needs financial support is welcome to DM us at @the.autisticats on Instagram (we will put your information on our story so that people can donate to you).
Okay, now what comes next? What if you’re like me: you have all of your physiological needs met, and you need help dealing with difficult emotions and past trauma? Here are some of the things I’ve been doing:
Stimming with stim toys. My red textured chewy stick from Super Chew has really been helping relieve tension.
Watching animated Netflix shows. My favorites at the moment are the Avatar series and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (which has a canonically autistic semi-main character!)
Engaging with my special interests. One of my main ones is autism, so I’ve been reading studies about autistic people and immersing myself in the autistic community online.
Going on daily walks and taking photographs of plants. Getting fresh air is necessary for me, especially now that there’s not much else to do because of quarantine.
Journaling privately and writing publicly. These posts are actually one way I ground myself and get my thoughts out.
Staying connected with friends.
This is a very difficult time, and I hope that all of you are taking care of each other and yourselves.
Again, if you’re Black and need financial support, please DM us at @the.autisticats on Instagram.
In solidarity,
Eden🐢
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tinyshe · 3 years
Text
Mass Protests Can End Vaccine Passports
Story at-a-glance
Peaceful protests work. In the U.K., following massive protests against vaccine passports, government may now scrap its plan for vaccine passports as a legal requirement for large events
In the U.S., 14 states have enacted laws that ban vaccine passport requirements in order to prevent the creation of a two-tier society. Only two have implemented vaccine passport requirements for certain activities
Vaccine passports or any other type of certification are part of a much larger plan to implement a global social credit system, which would rely on the interconnectivity of thousands of databases, which Oracle offered to do for the U.S. government in 2002, for free
Oracle manages databases for COVID-19 cases, vaccine data and clinical trial data, the U.S. national security database and databases for the CIA, Navy Intelligence, Air Force Intelligence and the National Security Agency, plus banking, and a host of commercial databases. Oracle Labs is also partnered with DARPA to create an interconnected supercomputer
Ultimately, the vaccine passport will expand to include not just vaccination status but also other medical data, basic identification records, financial data and just about anything else that can be digitized and tracked. The end goal is to end freedom as we know it, using a social credit system based on 24/7 electronic surveillance to ensure compliance
March 20, 2021, on the 1-year anniversary of the first COVID-19 lockdown, people in more than 40 countries took to the streets to peacefully demonstrate against COVID-19 lies and tyrannical measures under the banner of “Worldwide Freedom Day.” While synchronized around the world that particular day, demonstrations are more or less ongoing in various areas.
Peaceful Protests Are Ending Vaccine Passport Requirements
In the U.K., Britons held a “Unite for Freedom” rally in London, Saturday May 29, 2021, as seen in the short video clip above. According to ITV.com,1 hundreds of no-vaccine-passport protesters surged into the Westfield shopping mall in London, while another large crowd gathered in Parliament Square.
They were reportedly cleared from the mall after about 20 minutes by police, but no one was injured or arrested in this particular instance.
As reported by Reuters2 May 30, 2021, it now looks like the U.K. will be scrapping its plan for vaccine passports as a legal requirement for large events, although a government spokesman told Reuters that a final decision has yet to be made and that the COVID-19 vaccine certification review is still ongoing. Why the sudden change? Undoubtedly, it’s because Britons have repeatedly taken to the streets in protest of the medical apartheid these passports create.
14 US States Have Banned Vaccine Passport Requirements
In the U.S., there’s also good news. A number of states have enacted laws that ban vaccine passport requirements in order to prevent the creation of a two-tier society of those with the freedom to live as they please, and others whose lives would be restricted based on vaccination status alone.
As of May 28, 2021, the following 14 states have banned vaccine passports from being required:3 Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Montana, North Dakota, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Wyoming.
Utah has issued a partial ban that applies to state government only. Only two states so far — Hawaii and New York — have actually implemented vaccine certification requirements for certain activities.
In Hawaii, only those with proof of vaccination are allowed to travel between counties without pretravel testing and quarantine restrictions, while New York requires you to be vaccinated or have a recent negative COVID-19 test to enter certain sports arenas and large performance venues.
Florida Fights to Make Cruise Lines Adhere to Law
In my home state of Florida, one of the best pro-freedom governors in the U.S., Ron DeSantis, is now fighting the cruise industry over its proposed vaccination passport requirement.4 The bill he signed into law May 3, 2021,5 prohibits state government from issuing vaccine passports and private businesses from requiring proof of vaccination status to enter or obtain services.
As such, cruise lines that do business in Florida and want to restrict travel to vaccinated-only are in violation of this new anti-medical apartheid law. As reported by NBC News:6
“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention gave the go-ahead Wednesday to begin work toward restarting cruises for the first time in over a year after the massive ships became some of the first superspreader locations for the coronavirus …
To comply with CDC guidance … several cruise liners want to require nearly everyone onboard to be fully vaccinated. But that could now be illegal in Florida, the center of the American cruise industry, under a law DeSantis signed … that prohibits businesses from discriminating against unvaccinated customers.
‘In Florida, your personal choice regarding vaccinations will be protected, and no business or government entity will be able to deny you services based on your decision,’ DeSantis said of the law, which codified executive orders he had already issued.
The dispute may end up in court, as the cruise industry argues that the state law doesn't apply to it thanks to federal rules. In the meantime, companies may decide to move ahead with plans to require vaccinations, even if it means racking up violations in Florida.”
A Social Credit System Is the End Goal of Vaccine Passports
It’s important to realize that vaccine passports or any other type of certification in and of themselves are not the end goal here. They’re merely a part of a much larger plan to implement a social credit system, such as that already implemented in China. First, they’d be expanded to cover other required vaccinations.
Ultimately, the vaccine passport will expand to include not just vaccination status but also other medical data, basic identification records, financial data and just about anything else that can be digitized and tracked. The end goal is to end freedom as we know it, using a social credit system to ensure compliance.
Booster shots against COVID-19 variants would logically come first, followed by any number of other vaccinations. The sky’s the limit as far as that’s concerned, and many are likely to be gene-based and therefore dangerous in the extreme. Already, vaccine makers have announced they’re working on a combination COVID-flu/mRNA vaccine,7 a pneumococcal-COVID/mRNA booster shot for adults over 65,8 and mRNA/seasonal influenza vaccines.9
Ultimately, the vaccine passport will expand to include not just vaccination status but also other medical data, basic identification records, financial data and just about anything else that can be digitized and tracked. It may even extend to include real-time biological data.
The end goal is to end freedom as we know it, using a social credit system to ensure compliance. If you disobey or act “out of line” with a prevailing dictate, your freedom to travel, bank, shop, get a loan or even leave your home could be vastly restricted.
We can see how such a system could work by looking at the Chinese social credit system10 where behavior is electronically monitored to assess “trustworthiness” in real-time. Aside from failing to pay taxes on time, score-lowering actions can include such minutia as cheating in an online video game, jaywalking, not visiting your parents on a frequent-enough basis, smoking in a nonsmoking zone or walking your dog without a leash.
Momentary thoughtlessness can also land you on any one of hundreds of blacklists controlled by a variety of state agencies with their own jurisdictions, and if you end up on one, you’re typically subject to blacklisting across all of them, at which point you won’t be allowed to do much of anything except work to improve your score. On average, it takes two to five years to get off a blacklist, and that’s assuming you comply with all the recommendations put forth.11
While the Chinese social credit score is still in its infancy, eventually, the plan is to use it to “search for signs of potentially harmful behavior before it occurs”12 — in other words, a real-world pre-crime type of situation as illustrated in the movie “Minority Report.” This is what vaccine passports can lead to, and there’s every reason to believe that is the plan.
As noted by Naomi Wolf, a former adviser to the Clinton administration, in an interview with Fox News’ Steve Hilton:13,14
“I’m [the] CEO of a tech company, I understand what these platforms can do. It is not about the vaccine, it’s not about the virus, it’s about your data … What people have to understand is that any other functionality can be loaded onto that platform with no problem at all. It can be merged with your Paypal account, with your digital currency.
Microsoft is already talking about merging it with payment plans. Your network can be sucked up. It geolocates you everywhere you go. Your credit history can be included. All of your medical and health history can be included …
It is absolutely so much more than a vaccine pass … I cannot stress enough that it has the power to turn off your life, or to turn on your life, to let you engage in society or be marginalized.”
It’s All Been Building to This Point
Indeed, recreating China’s social credit system here in the U.S. is likely easier at this point than anyone would like to think, and probably wouldn’t take long to implement. Silicon Valley titan Oracle nabbed the contract to be the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s central data repository for all COVID-19 vaccine data in the U.S. early on in the pandemic.
Oracle also manages the database for COVID-19 cases and the National Institute for Allergies and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) database for clinical research into COVID-19 vaccines and drugs, a program overseen by Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Now consider this: Oracle has for many years also managed the U.S. national security database, as well as databases for the CIA, Navy Intelligence, Air Force Intelligence and the National Security Agency, plus banking, and a host of commercial databases. As reported by The Defender:15
“’The information about your banks, your checking balances, your saving balance is stored in an Oracle database,’ Ellison was quoted in the 2004 book, ‘The Naked Crowd.’ ‘Your airline reservation is stored in an Oracle database. What books you bought on Amazon is stored in an Oracle database. Your profile on Yahoo! is stored in an Oracle database.’”
And, as Ellison admitted in 2002, thousands of databases can easily be integrated into a single national file — something he offered to do for free for the U.S. government all the way back then.
The Defender also recounts an old Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) program called Total Information Awareness (TIA), which sought to collect the medical records, drug prescriptions, DNA, financial information, travel data and media consumption habits of all Americans.16
The justification for this vast data collection, according to DARPA, was that “the whole population needed surveillance to prevent not only future terrorist attacks, but bioterrorism and even naturally occurring disease outbreaks.” The program was defunded in 2003 after intense public backlash, “but TIA never really went away,” The Defender writes.17 “Various of its programs ended up divvied into a web of military and intelligence programs.”
Here are a few more connections to consider when trying to decide whether a social credit system is really in the works, and why a vaccine passport could serve a central function.
Oracle Labs, the research arm of Oracle, is partnered with DARPA to create an “optically interconnected supercomputer” — something that would come in handy if putting together a massive social credit system that demands interconnectivity between thousands of databases.
DARPA is also working on advanced pandemic surveillance and biological threat detection.18 In fact, it has an entire division specializing in biological technologies — the Biological Technologies Office (BTO) — which developed hydrogel, an implantable type of nanotechnology that transmits light-based digital signals through wireless networks.19
It’s basically a gel-like biosensor that can both record and share biological data. The hydrogel is manufactured by Profusa, which is partnered with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation20 and backed by Google, the largest data mining company in the world.
In 2020, there were rumors that this hydrogel would be part of Moderna’s mRNA delivery system.21 DARPA, by the way, actually funded Moderna too.22 However, it is unclear whether hydrogel actually ended up being used in Moderna’s or any other COVID-19 vaccine. At any rate, it could be used, if not now, then in the future.
Now, ask yourself, considering all of these various data points that I’ve covered — which by no means includes everything — just how likely is it that a national social credit system based on digital surveillance, including medical and biological surveillance, is NOT in the works?
Vaccine Passports Spell the End of Freedom
I recently interviewed Wolf about her book “The End of America.” The book, published in 2007, was a prescient warning about the very time we now find ourselves in. In it, she laid out the 10 steps toward tyranny that have been followed by virtually every modern-day would-be tyrant.
“They all took the same 10 steps, and they always work. I warned people that when you start to see these 10 steps, you have to take action, because there is no way to recover once things go too far without a bloody revolution or a civil war. We are [now] at Step 10 … and once Step 10 locks in, there is no going back,” Wolf says.
The 10 steps toward tyranny start with the invocation of a terrifying internal and/or external threat. It may be a real threat or an imagined one, but in all cases, it’s a hyped-up threat. From 2001 onward, that threat was terrorism, which was used as the justification for stripping us of our liberties.
The last and final step in the implementation of tyranny, Step 10, involves the creation of a surveillance state where citizens are under constant surveillance and critique of the government is reclassified as dissent and subversive activity. Vaccine passports are clearly an integral part of that surveillance apparatus, and a precursor to a social credit system.
There simply can be no doubt of that, and if we don’t put a stop to it now, we’ll be locked into not just a national dictatorship but a global one, run by unelected, largely unknown individuals and Big Tech oligarchs. There will be no one to help anyone else, because all nations will be in the same boat.
Peaceful Protest and Legislative Action Are the Remedy
To avoid the fate that comes next, everyone everywhere needs to recognize the danger and take action. Such action includes peaceful protest and civil disobedience — simply not complying with mask mandates, social distancing, lockdowns, vaccination or anything else.
We must also fight through legislation. As mentioned earlier, 14 U.S. states have already passed laws banning requirements for vaccine passports, which protects the freedoms of everyone within those states. While that’s a good start, there are dozens more to go, and other countries need to enact such laws as well. As noted by Wolf in my interview with her:
“Once [vaccine passports] are launched … people like you and I, Dr. Mercola, will be switched off of society. ‘Oops, my vaccine passport is positive. I guess I can't go food shopping for my family.’ ‘I said something critical of biofascism on Dr. Mercola's show, so now my child can't get into school.’
Just as in Israel, where people who are critics are being surveilled [and] marginalized from society, it has turned into a two-tier society. If you choose not to get vaccinated, then you're really in a marginalized minority in an apartheid state.
The more we know about these vaccines, the scarier it is to have coercion that is social. It's also illegal. In America, we have the Americans with Disabilities Act. It means it's illegal to even ask me anything about my medical status. You can't ask me if I'm pregnant. You can't ask me if I'm disabled. You can't ask me if I have diabetes or HIV. You cannot ask me anything. By definition, these intrusive measures are unlawful.
We have to use the law to save the law, basically … We have to fight before we are living in fascist regime where every move is tracked and we're marginalized from society.”
The National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC) recently posted more than 50 video presentations from the pay-for-view Fifth International Public Conference on Vaccination held online October 16 to 18, 2020, and made them available to everyone for free.
The conference's theme was "Protecting Health and Autonomy in the 21st Century" and it featured physicians, scientists and other health professionals, human rights activists, faith community leaders, constitutional and civil rights attorneys, authors and parents of vaccine injured children talking about vaccine science, policy, law and ethics and infectious diseases, including coronavirus and COVID-19 vaccines.
In December 2020, a U.K. company published false and misleading information about NVIC and its conference, which prompted NVIC to open up the whole conference for free viewing. The conference has everything you need to educate yourself and protect your personal freedoms and liberties with respect to your health.
Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity. I was a speaker at this empowering conference and urge you to watch these video presentations before they’re censored and taken away by the technocratic elite. [go here, scroll to bottom of page for access]
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annazverina · 3 years
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2020 Letter to the World
In 2015, I began writing annual Letters to the World to reflect on what I learned during the year. I shared my first one publicly in 2018, and since then I discuss certain topics that were relevant during the year and what they taught me. Enjoy.
***
I typically don’t start writing my annual Letter to the World until October or November at the earliest, but this year has already been a huge whirlwind for the entire world. I started writing this in April and edited it until the day it was posted. At that point, we had been in isolation for a month. A few weeks later, yet another revolution sparked within the United States. As soon as the riots and protests started, I knew this would be the hardest letter I’ve ever written. 
This year I will discuss coronavirus, racism, social media, and the importance of face to face communication. 
Around the time I finished writing last year’s letter, a new illness was taking over Wuhan, China. This new, mysterious strain of coronavirus was infecting people left and right. But like any other American, I didn’t worry about it, though I kept track of it on Twitter. I remember the time when there were only 600 cases, and it hadn’t spread outside of Wuhan yet. Man, those were the days. It’s amazing how much the world changed within a month, a week, and a few days. 
A month before isolation, my friends and I drove down to San Antonio for the TMEA convention. Tens of thousands of music educators in the same building. At that same time, San Antonio had its first cases of COVID-19. Less than a month later, SXSW was cancelled. That’s when I realized that this was becoming a big deal. The same day the WHO declared the pandemic, my university announced it was moving to online instruction for what would eventually be the rest 2020. My first day of quarantine was 14 March. I began vlogging occasionally to document the experience. 
I barely left the house during quarantine. For the first five months, the only reasons I left were to go walking, move out of the dorm, or to pick up food. My family took a trip to Colorado right before I left for school, which was our first time eating at a restaurant in 150 days. None of my family or our friends officially tested positive. At school, my roommate did, which led to a two week isolation for me. It really bothered me that those who could stay home weren’t. I get that the United States was founded with freedom in mind (even though we’re not free yet), but I don’t understand why people weren’t willing to give up a little bit of freedom and wear a piece of cloth on their face. Sometimes, you have to give up freedom for the sake of the big picture. I learned that many Americans don’t understand that. The United States shut down too late and reopened too early. Those above us care too much about money. The economy is important, but so are people. Human lives matter, including Black lives.
We all know what happened.
Every January in elementary school, we learned about the Civil Rights Movement. However, they did not mention that racism was still an ongoing problem. They implied that it was a thing of the past. God, I wish it was. I don’t think it ever will be, but the things we can do to eliminate it as much as possible are promoting anti-racism and teaching those who come after us that no matter where someone comes from, they can’t form any opinions about them until they know what’s in their heart. 
That entire week after the murder was very overwhelming. It made me wonder what kind of families racist people grew up in to think that it’s okay to not be good to everyone. I live my life with one thing in mind all the time: be good to myself and others. And I think everyone else, regardless of socioeconomic background, race, religion, whatever, should do the same. And we must teach those who come after to follow those footsteps.
There was never a class in school dedicated to being good citizens. They just yelled at the students doing bad things to stop, but never explained why it was bad, nor did they tell them how to be better. Common human decency is something that should be taught K-12, and I honestly think it’s more important than STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). We cannot force the students to rely on their parents for something like this, because some parents are uneducated, some are not good people, some suck at parenting, and way too many children in the world don’t even have parents. Schools are the ones that need to teach kids how to be good… all the way through. 
WE MUST BE THE CHANGE. Those currently in power appear to not be doing anything, so those who want change must RISE UP. For us civilians, signing petitions and donating is great, and being good, like I mentioned above, is also something we should do. We must change our behavior for the better. We cannot rely on other people to do stuff for us. We must do it ourselves. Change is not a process that can happen over night. So far it’s taken decades/centuries of work, but someday we will be there. Even if we don’t live to see it, the work we do now will help our future descendants. 
After George Floyd’s murder and the explosion of social media, I was super overwhelmed with everything I was reading. I decided to take the month of June off of Twitter, and man, I’m glad I did. Social media in general is a toxic place to be, and cutting out Twitter and Facebook was healthy for me. In terms of toxicity, Twitter and Facebook, in my opinion, are the worst platforms. On Twitter, it’s hard to control what you see in your feed. Most of the tweets in my feed are from people I don’t follow. They’re tweets I never signed up to see, and they flood my feed with posts that sometimes feel like propaganda. Sometimes I feel like celebrities are worshipped like a deity. I often feel like I’m not allowed to have my own personal beliefs on Twitter, rather I have to conform to what the loudmouthed users believe. If I don’t, I’m racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc. Facebook is similar, but most of the people I follow are my friends or family, so I can’t unfollow them.
Surprisingly, I like Instagram. Reposting is very uncommon, and posting more than once a day is unofficially considered spam, therefore people have to put all their politics into one single post, which I can scroll past and never see again. You never see posts from people you don’t follow, (except for the occasional advert) and overall I think people use it mostly to share photos of their lives. Most of the flaws that come from Instagram are the people who use it, but it’s easy to avoid them. 
My brother shared some statistics with me recently. Only about 10 percent of Twitter users tweet on a normal basis. About 40 percent of people in the United States have a Twitter account. With that in mind, theoretically, the loud mouthed Twitter users only make up about 4 percent of the U.S. population. Or… something like that. I don’t know how accurate these statistics are, nor do I know where my brother got them from. Regardless, social media does not represent everyone in the world. Not even close.
The nice thing about living in a world of social media is being able to keep in touch with friends and family while quarantined. This whole quarantine process made me ever so grateful for face to face meetings. Some people believe no one will ever want to work again once everything ends. That’s not true. I think most people like working. Being able to leave the house every day and do something, even if it’s something you don’t like, is what keeps us sane. When it came time to return to school, I was initially really mad due to COVID. I ended up being okay with it. My school did a fantastic job at keeping COVID cases down for the entire semester (we only had an average of 20 cases a week, compared to some schools who had hundreds). Not only that, but I was able to see my family away from home again. Even though we wore masks and social distanced most of the time, things felt somewhat normal. 
If you are the kind of person who could care less if you see your friends and coworkers in person, don’t forget that most people don’t feel that way. It’s hard to have group conversations on Zoom. You certainly can’t have a party where multiple conversations happen. Don’t assume everyone feels the same way about something. Let people have their social gatherings when it’s acceptable again, and don’t belittle people who feel different from you.
Everyone must do the right thing… all the time. Even when no one is watching. It’s our job to develop the habit of being good to ourselves and to others regardless. If we do that, we’ll be able to go back to a normal-ish life sooner. Lin-Manuel Miranda called America a “great unfinished symphony” in Hamilton. America, you great unfinished symphony, we still have unfinished business to take care of. The change we need won’t come tomorrow. The amount of work we have before we reach the double bar line will take generations to get to. We cannot allow a repeat sign. We must start today. May 2021 be a year of healing.
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anniedeodair · 4 years
Text
Video calls in quarentine
Plot: The worst thing about not being able to leave the house was boredom and not seeing his friends or Law. Luckily there are video calls and until the quarantine ends, Luffy would talk to them through the camera.
From: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424109
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Video calls in quarentine
Luffy opened the bowl of ramen as he sat at the desk in front of the computer. Ace hadn't felt like cooking that night and ordered delivery at Sanji’s restaurant, which was one of the few things that was still working. Also, they didn't have much food in the house anymore. The next day Sabo would go out with the car to buy food at the market that could last them for the whole next week.
His room was a mess. Ace forced him to clean every day, but he just swept up and let Sabo disinfect. His clothes and things were thrown everywhere, but he didn't care much. He crossed his legs over the chair and looked at the computer anxiously. He wanted it to be time for everyone to get online. He was terribly bored and fed up with being locked in his house without being able to leave, and talking to them was one of the few fun things he could still do. That if the internet didn't collapse with everyone using it at the same time.
"Luffy, are you eating already?" Ace asked, peering into his room.
"Yes, I just grabbed the ramen," he replied, turning his face to see him. He brought a mouthful of noodles to his mouth. "I added the meat you had made today at noon to make it better"
Ace laughed because he knew of his little brother's quirky taste for meat.
"We’re going to talk to Marco, Thatch, Koala and Hack by video call in the living room," he informed him, saying goodbye.
"Okay, I'm going to talk to the guys, too."
The ringing of the video call application turned his attention to the computer and he saw that Franky had started the chat. He accepted the invitation and eight boxes appeared on his screen. The faces of his friends appeared one by one.
"Hello guys!" Luffy yelled happily. He waved his hand effusively to greet them.
"Luffy!" Chopper appeared in one of the upper boxes and Luffy watched him. "How's everybody?"
"Eating,"  he laughed, showing him his bowl of ramen.
"Ace didn't cook today?" Sanji interjected, under Chopper.
"We don't have much food left, tomorrow Sabo is going to buy. I hope he brings a lot of meat"
"He doesn’t need to go outside, Luffy," said Nami, next to Chopper. "He can buy online and have it delivered to the house"
"I didn't know that," Chopper replied in amazement. "However here at home they go out every day, so they buy outside"
"Do your parents have a lot of work, Chopper?" Robin asked, sitting next to Franky in their living room. Their camera appeared below Sanji.
"Yes, they are both in the emergency department at the hospital, so they attended many suspicious cases that ended up negative, and several that were confirmed"
Chopper's parents were a pair of doctors, Kureha and Hiluluk. Chopper was a student, but he still didn't work or practice in hospitals, so he had to stay home during quarantine.
"What about you?" Nami asked Franky and Robin. "Classes were suspended, do you have to go to college, Robin?"
"I went the first week just because the teachers had to go, but since the mandatory quarantine was decreted we also stayed at home. And Franky opens the workshop less hours"
Franky's workshop was installed next to their house and he didn't have to go out to work. In addition, hardware stores and workshops were exempt from quarantine because citizens may need home repairs.
"At least there are some things to do," Franky said." Otherwise it would be suuuper boring"
Luffy laughed as he shoved a large bite of noodles and meat into his mouth. Knowing that he wasn't the only one who was bored to death during those days made him feel very accompanied.
"What about you, Sanji?" Robin asked. "The other day I passed near the restaurant when I was returning from shopping and I saw it closed, how are you doing?"
Sanji was sitting in a chair by the open window of his room, smoking. He looked at the computer, which appeared to be leaning against his bed since the camera focused him from beneath.
"Zeff decided to close the shop to eat there, but the delivery is still open" he answered taking a drag on the cigarette.
"Today we ordered the ramen there, it’s delicious!" Luffy added, his eyes bright with excitement.
"I didn't work today, who brought you the food?"
"Paty came, it looked like they had a lot of work," Luffy replied.
"With the quarantine, people in the neighborhood are asking for more food there whenever they don't want to cook. We are cooking a lot even though we closed the restaurant"
The box next to Sanji was black and suddenly Zoro appeared.
"Finally!" Usopp shouted when he saw him appear. "Why did you take so long? Don't tell me you got lost ..."
Everyone laughed at the absurd joke and Zoro shouted some things at him that no one heard. The video call was more chaotic than their meetings, although they were naturally messy already.
"I was sleeping," he said to apologize.
"How strange of you, sleeping," Sanji murmured to annoy him.
"What are you saying, perverted cook ?!" He yelled annoyed.
"Brook didn't show up yet, either," Chopper added. His box, next to Robin’s and Franky's, underneath it all, was still black.
"I'm sure he's sleeping, surely he's going to show up anytime soon," Robin replied, smiling.
"Hey, Zoro!" Luffy called out to him. "How’s everything over there? Did you close the dojo?"
Zoro's father, Mihawk, was a well-known martial artist from the area and had a kendo dojo in which Zoro gave some classes and trained. They lived in the house behind the dojo, in an area far from the city, surrounded by some valleys.
Zoro said he used to get lost when everyone got together because he lived further away than the others. Sanji believed it was because he had a lousy sense of direction. And that always led to absurd and fun fights.
"It's closed, but we train every day," Zoro commented, settling into bed with the computer on his legs. "Although it's boring not being able to get out of here"
"I get you," Luffy gasped with a weary expression. "I'm sick of being locked up at home! I go out to the yard and I have nothing to do. Sabo won't even let me go do the groceries!
"He knows you're going to run away if you go out," Usopp said, and Nami nodded.
"It's just for a few days Luffy, we don't want you to get sick!" She exclaimed to reaffirm the point.
"I know, but it's sooo boring!" Luffy dropped his head on the desk table and his friends laughed, understanding his sentiment, because they were all mortally bored from being locked up. "If the virus doesn't kill me, boredom will"
"I go out to the yard every day to practice my marksmanship, at least I have my equipment at home," Usopp said. "I brought it from the club before quarantine"
He practiced shooting and arrow and various other aiming sports, but he was lucky because in Usopp's house there was a big yard where he could spend the day if he was tired of being indoors.
"At home we don't know what else to do," Nami said, rolling her eyes. "Being locked up in an apartment is much worse. Yesterday we walked the dog with Nojiko and took a few more laps"
"See! I'm not the only one!" Luffy yelled at the screen.
"Nami, don't do that please!" Chopper interjected. "It is better to take him out to pee and nothing else, even if you want to walk a little. It is dangerous to expose yourself"
"I know, I'm sorry… today we purchased some clothes online! They will send them home, so at least that was fun.
Underneath them all, Brook's black box formed into an image. The man was lying on the couch at home drinking tea and the computer seemed to be on his legs.
"Hello Brook!" Usopp greeted him, waving his hand effusively.
Brook saluted even though he wasn't looking at the camera.
"On the top of the notebook, Brook!" He indicated, laughing. Usopp gave him some classes to use the computer a few years ago and now he knew much better how it worked but he had never made video calls with it yet.
"Oh, there you are," said the older man, and he started laughing when he saw them all. "How are you guys?"
"Hello, Brook," Robin said with her kind smile. "We are fine, you?"
"Suuuuper bored over here," Franky added.
"I am grand," Brook replied, drinking his tea. "I am an average retiree, this was already my lifestyle"
Everyone laughed at his joke and Luffy saw behind Brook his guitar.
"Have you been practicing with the guitar?" He asked excitedly.
"Today I wanted to play something for you guys, if you let me."
"Yes!" Luffy yelled excitedly.
Brook was the older of the group, and therefore the most vulnerable to the disease, so he was confined to his home. Usopp lived close enough and did the groceries for him. He couldn't stay long, so he left the food at the door, greeted each other and left.
"By the way, thank you for today’s groceries, Usopp-san," he said with a smile and picked up his guitar.
The man might be old, but he was rocking like no other. In his youth he had been part of a band that became fairly well known. Franky had been a huge fan in his teens and had the entire Roringustonzu discography. Sabo also liked them so Luffy knew some songs, but Brook had done others that no one else knew.
He played the song everyone liked best, Bink’s Sake, an ode to the adventures they had created after a movie night at Franky’s and Robin's. They had seen Pirates of the Caribbean and fantasized about being pirates until the wee hours. Their version ended up being much better than the movie.
Everyone applauded when he finished playing. They had sung in chorus, which with the delay came late to all the computers and made a mess of sound that made the moment even more delirious and fun. Brook bowed and laughed with them.
"Hey, Brook!" Sanji called out as he smoked. "How’s Laboom?"
Brook got up from his seat and took the computer to the fish tank in a corner of the house, where the little goldfish he had had for years danced to the tune he had just finished.
"Here he is, his food comes by online delivery, so he is kept fed," he replied.
Luffy greeted Laboom as if the fish could hear or recognize him, but everyone else did too.
"What about your dog, Luffy?" Chopper asked, poking his nose very close to the screen.
"Get a little further from the computer, Chopper," Zoro warned him. The boy pushed away the computer.
"Sorry, my books had fallen and I was arranging them."
Luffy lifted his pet off the ground and brought it closer to the screen.
"Say hello, Shushu." The dog barked at the camera and everyone interpreted it as a greeting. "I think he is the only one who has a good time because nobody leaves the house"
"Same thing happens to me," Nami said with a smile.
The noise of a door was heard but they could not identify which camera it came from, until Perona appeared in Zoro's camera, behind everything, peeking out of the frame of the room.
"Food’s ready!" She yelled in her bossy tone. Sanji straightened up and began to greet her effusively.
"Hello, Perona-chan!" He shouted with bright eyes and Zoro glanced at him with a murderous face. "Do you want me to send you free food from the restaurant?"
Nami covered her face with shame. Luckily Sanji had understood, at least, that he couldn't flirt with her and Robin, because they were his friends, but that didn't stop him from going after Zoro's sister.
"That would be great!" Perona cried contentedly in her high-pitched voice, and Zoro shoved her out of her room.
"I'll go, now get out," he snapped annoyed.
Luffy laughed because the antics of his two friends always made him laugh. In the corner of his computer, a WhatsApp Web sign popped out. It was a message from Law.
[3/28 8:46 p. m.] Torao: Hello Luffy-ya
are you free?
"Torao wrote to me!" Luffy shouted happily with the cell phone in his hand and showed them to his friends.
"Send him greetings!" Nami shouted.
"Tell him to call me later," Chopper added. "I have a bunch of things to ask him"
Law was Chopper's tutor at the university, but when classes were suspended, so were face-to-face meetings with tutors and study sessions in the library. Everything had turned towards virtual meetings. However, in a complicated pandemic situation like this, and Law as a doctor, he had a lot of work in the hospital and could not pay as much attention to his little student.
"Okay, I think he wants to make a video call with me."
"Don't let things get too heated, Luffy!" Nami raised her eyebrows and started laughing out loud. Robin covered her mouth, giggling.
"Be careful, you live with your brothers!" Franky said very seriously.
Luffy felt his face going red because of his friends’ teasing, but he looked at the cell phone hoping that Law would write to him again. He had told him that he was there and that if he wanted to talk, his computer was on.
Instead of an answer, a video call notification came through.
"He’s calling me!" He announced happily. "Okay, guys, we’ll chat later, okay?"
His friends greeted him and said goodbye to him. Luffy closed that session and opened Law's video call. The screen showed the doctor in a huge box. He was in his apartment, surely he had just returned from work, although due to his clothes, he had already changed.
"Torao!" Luffy yelled happily. They hadn't seen each other in person in weeks. Law worked a lot in the hospital and even before the quarantine began he didn't want Luffy to see him in case he could infect him.
"How are you Luffy-ya?" He asked with a smile. That kind of sideways, very soft smile that Law only gave when he was relaxed and calm.
"Fine, bored, but I just talked to the guys and it was fun seeing them," he replied with a smile. "How about you? Have you just arrived from work?"
"Yes, I showered and left the clothes on the balcony with disinfectant. Today was a long day at the hospital."
"Why? Many new cases?" He asked curiously. "I hope you are taking care of yourself!"
Law laughed and the sound of his deep voice was refreshing. There were days when he was so stuffed with work that they couldn't even call each other. Luffy missed him very much.
“We confirmed five cases at North Blue"
Luffy saw him move around the house, it seemed that he had called him from his cell phone. Law sat at the kitchen counter and began to drink coffee.
"Shachi took care of two and I saw only one," he continued informing him. All of Law's friends were from the hospital, so he got to see them often.
Luffy envied that, at least a little.
"The ones we took care of are young and have no previous illnesses, so they will be fine. I investigated the other two cases and they are more complicated, but my prognosis is not bad. They were taken to Dressrosa’s hospital, which was built for patients with the virus specifically."
Luffy liked to hear Law speak, even though he didn't understand half the things he was saying. He knew that Law was a fairly prestigious doctor and that he was running for the position of North Blue’s director . Luffy wasn't sure if he wanted Law to have such an important position, because it would mean even less time than what he already had, but it would also get him out of that front line in which he was so exposed to the virus at the moment.
But he knew that, in the end, Law would do whatever he wanted and considered best. Luffy would do the same in his position.
"Do you wear the facial mask and the gloves?"
"We always wear them, Luffy-ya."
He laughed at his answer, because it was true. However, he was surprised to see his face so red around the eyes and with some injuries and irritated areas.
"Why are you so hurt?" He asked with a frown. He focused his eyes better.
Law touched his face and looked into his camera.
"Because of the use of the equipment," he replied, massaging his face. "The masks are tight and cover the entire face. In addition we have the face masks and the whole suit. Using them so much irritates the skin"
Luffy clicked his tongue, because he didn't like seeing him hurt, but he understood that it was needed to take care of himself too.
"Does it hurt much?"
Law shook his head and took a sip of his coffee.
"No, it just burns a little. I'll put on some moisturizer later. Don't worry, it's nothing"
He had seen Law many times when he was working, before the pandemic. Luffy liked to pick him up at the hospital and go eat somewhere. Sometimes he passed Law's friends and greeted each other. Luffy liked them very much.
He missed that.
"Don't be sad," he heard him say. He raised his head to see the screen. Law was really good at reading him, mainly because he knew him very well. Just as Luffy had managed to break him apart and know all of his reactions. "I am not the most optimistic of all, you know that, but I am confident that we will get out of this situation. The isolation is temporary, remember it"
Luffy complained as always, jaded just like a whimsical child.
"I'm very tired of being home", he groaned. " I wanna see my friends, go play soccer, see you. It's not fair"
Law looked at him with a warmer smile. It wasn't a common sight, but Luffy liked when he got to see it, though it usually meant that he was sad and Law did it to cheer him up.
"No, it isn't," he agreed. "It isn't, especially, for those who get sick or for those who cannot see their loved ones who are sick"
Law always helped him get everything in perspective. If he thought it that way, Law was right. He didn't know what he would do if any of his friends, brothers or Law became ill.
"I know, you're right, but Sabo won't even let me go get the groceries!" He protested.
"He knows you would go too far if he let you out," he replied, laughing.
"Why can't I stay with you during the quarantine?" He said with a whimsical pout.
"Because I work and I already put myself at risk, I don't want to risk you too."
He knew it. It made sense. But it was difficult to stay still locked up in his house when his nature was so free and adventurous.
"I miss you too, Luffy-ya," he said quietly, looking directly at him on camera. "I don't work early tomorrow so we can talk till late. Want to see a movie?"
He felt like a child when Law spoke to him like that, but he also liked him thinking of things to do with him.
"Okay, we can use Netflix Party," Luffy added. "It’s the extension that I told you about the other day, to watch Netflix at the same time. We used it with the guys the other day to watch the last movie of Pirates of the Caribbean."
"Okay, I’ll install it, what do you want to watch?""
"Not Grey's Anatomy, please," Luffy asked, rolling his eyes. "I don’t understand anything..."
"Okay, not series. A movie? An anime?"
Luffy went through the Netflix catalog looking at what they could see. Action movies, some interesting series, and anime.
"Zoro recommended Kingdom, the South Korean series. Usopp is watching Dr. Stone, maybe you like that, he's a scientist like you, Torao!"
Law laughed from the other side of the camera and put on the headphones to hear Luffy better.
"We can also see Kimetsu no Yaiba…"
"Shachi told me it's not that good," Law said.
Luffy looked back at the camera and saw his boyfriend on the couch with headphones and a blanket. He really wanted to be there, in that same tiny space. Cuddling.
"Kingdom sounds fine to me, but it's a series, doesn't bother you?" " Law asked.
Luffy wasn’t a series lover because he didn't have much perseverance to watch them. If he got bored in a chapter, he generally didn't watch more or forgot to follow it. But Zoro told him that ‘Kingdom’ had a lot of action and that he would surely like it.
"We’ll give it a try and see if we like it."
"Okay," Law replied. "I already have the extension, so we can see it whenever you want."
Luffy looked in his closet for a snack bag that he kept there for these moments and moved to bed with the computer.
"You look good like that, Torao," he praised him with an insinuating smile and Law felt a little nervous.
He wasn't used to Luffy's advances on him, no matter how much he always did it. He coughed and settled into the couch.
"If you go stray, we're not going to watch the series ..." he warned when his voice returned.
Luffy laughed as if he had made a prank. He opened the app and the series to play at the same time and put on the headphones.
"What's wrong with it?" He asked innocently. "You said we could stay up late."
Law put play before Luffy made him feel more embarrassed and started the series.
That night they went to bed at three in the morning. It was customary for Luffy to fall asleep late and more in quarantine when he had nothing to do. He made Law promise that they would speak the next day when he returned. Now that he couldn't see him, like his friends, he wanted to make a video call even more often with him.
When the pandemic passes, Luffy will take care of filling his schedule visiting all his friends, playing soccer and sleeping a lot with Torao on his couch; where they were tight and uncomfortable, but very close. So that it never occurs to any fucking virus to want to separate them.
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39 notes · View notes
winetae · 4 years
Text
:: modern loneliness
⇨ prompt : android!hoseok x reader. 2205 words. drabble with a possible follow-up. it’s been 38 days since you’ve last seen and interacted with a living, breathing person and you’re slowly going insane.
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[Week 1 of lock down.]
At first, you’re optimistic. 
Working from home comes with its own set of non-negligeable perks. Notably, no more commute time! No more squeezing in between sweaty men on the subway during rush hour just to get home. The new arrangement means that you’re no longer obliged to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to blow-dry your hair or meticulously put on makeup while stuffing a bagel into your mouth because you’re short on time. 
On Day 1 of quarantine, you roll out of bed and don’t even bother to change out of your pajamas. It’s quite the sight. Not that you care whether or not your hair looks like a bird’s nest or if there’s a small hole in your shirt. You’d gladly take your flannel pants and old university sweatshirt with the coffee stain by the collar over the rigid pencil skirt and stupid obligatory heels they force you to wear to the office. Ironing? You don’t know her. 
That’s not to say there aren't any inconveniences but as of now, the pros outweigh the cons. For one, you’re now allowed to add as much sugar into your coffee without susciting your coworkers’ judgement. You can blast angry rap songs while finishing your reports and no one will stop you. The list goes on. 
With all this newfound time on your hands, you have no more valid reasons to procrastinate. You start off by cleaning out the kitchen cabinets you’d been meaning to re-organize for months. Then you rearrange your wardrobe, dust off the top shelves of your bookcase that you usually skip over because no one can see them, and water the potted plants you’d been neglecting. 
It feels great to be so productive. Your friends tell you via FaceConnect that your productivity streak won’t last long, but you’re quick to shake off their doubts. 
“I’m a new me!” You insist when Mia’s laughter echoes around your empty apartment. “My life is back on track. I feel like a proper adult now that I’m not struggling so much to get everything done.”
“Sure,” she humors you. “Just don’t get upset when I tell you I told you so.”
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[Day 8 of lockdown.]
Now that your apartment is cleaner than it’s ever been, you need to find other means of entertainment. According to the internet, now is the ideal time to learn a new language or acquire a new hobby, like crocheting or playing the guitar. But while it might be technically possible to learn a language, you’re definitely not an overachiever. You’re aware of your own limits. 
Today you try your hand at baking. To some it might not seem like a big deal. But for someone like you who solely uses the kitchen to boil ramyeon packets and chop the occasional vegetable, today’s venture into the world of cooking is the equivalent of a quantum leap. 
The molten lava cakes that come out of the oven 15 minutes later don’t look like the picture advertised in the online recipe. They don’t taste like how you’d expected, either. 
You try not to be too disappointed with your failed attempt. After all, it’s only your first try. Dry cakes aren’t that bad in comparison to the horrors that could have occurred. At least nothing is burnt and your oven is still intact. You’ll try again tomorrow with hopefully a little more success.
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[Day 16 of lockdown.]
It turns out that baking is not for you. After numerous trials and errors you learn a few days later that you have no vacation to be a baker. You end up abandoning all attempts to acquire a new hobby and instead look for new ways to pass the time. 
Thankfully, your home server is offering free VOD for a limited amount of time, so you’re not short on distractions. You consume around half a dozen cult movies, the kind people always reference and quote without actually watching, before you finally begin crossing TV series off your to-watch list. 
You yawn. It’s 9 PM on a Saturday night and you’ve just finished binging the entire season of Tiger King. It’s the third show you’ve watched from start to finish since quarantine began and now you’re wondering whether you should start a fourth. 
“Well, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” you say before a grimace crosses your face. “Oh great... Now I’m talking to myself.” 
That can’t be a good sign, you think to yourself. How long has it been since you’ve last talked to someone? You used to call your parents every day but when there’s nothing new to report, the conversations become repetitive and dull. 
You should call Mia. Just to see how she’s doing.
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[Day 24 of lockdown.] 
YOUR WEEKLY BASKET FROM FOODCONNECT HAS ARRIVED. ALL PURCHASES WILL BE ADDED TO YOUR MONTHLY EXPENSES CARD. REMINDER THAT DUE TO THE EXCEPTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES, CONNECT CARDS ARE ALLOWED A 5000 EXCESS OVER FIXED LIMIT. TOTAL EXCESS HAS NOT YET BEEN REACHED.
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[Day 38 of lockdown.] 
You’re browsing BH, hoping to restock your vitamins. Lately you’ve been feeling tired and mentally drained, despite your workload not being what it used to be. Why you’re so exhausted is a mystery you’ve yet to solve. In all logic, your energy level should be at an all time high now that you’re working less and spending all your free time lounging on the couch surfing the internet. 
According to the national health guideline, you’re supposed to be exercising an hour a day minimum in order for your body to remain in good condition. Your BODYCONNECT watch monitor beeps every hour to remind you that you haven’t completed the suggested activity. 
Ugh. 
You press the button on the side of the watch to turn the reminder off. It’s the fifth time you’ve had to silence it today but you can’t bring yourself to work up a sweat right this minute. You keep telling yourself that you’ll exercise later but like all things lately, later ends up being never. 
Come to think of it, this isn’t the first time you’ve caught yourself slacking off. Where did all your motivation during week 1 of lockdown go? You don’t even have the strength to do ten jumping jacks anymore; it’s like your bones belong to a person three times your age - feeble and brittle and threatening to break at a moment’s notice. 
LOW ON SEROTONIN? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED. Flash promo over in 00:32:43! Limited offer while supplies last.
A bright yellow advertisement flashes on the top right corner of your screen. Intrigued, you follow the link without expecting much. The last thing you expect is to be brought directly to BH LAB’s homepage. 
“Um… I don’t think I have the budget for this…” You mutter under your breath and prepare to exit out of the page. 
Androids are usually employed by the government but the ones for sale to the general public are known to be exorbitantly expensive. 
A message reads: EXCLUSIVE 1 HOUR PROMO, 40% OFF YOUR FIRST PURCHASE. Click here for more details. Offer valid for new customers only. 
You pause and decide to click on the link. Looking around won’t hurt anyone, right? It’s not like you’ve decided to buy anything yet. 
The seven Dwellers available for sale are just as good looking as you expected them to be. Their unnaturally good looks and vibrant green eyes are what makes them easy to pick out from the crowd. 
You skim through each Dweller’s description. It seems that apart from the physical differences like their facial features and build, they each have their own specialty and characteristics. One of the best-selling models boasts the cooking ability of a 5-star chef, which you admit sounds very tempting since your skills with a knife are pathetic enough to make Gordon Ramsey cry. 
Another best-selling model specializes in...sex. You blink, your cheeks warming as you read over the model’s description (the “thick, vibrating cock that guarantees an orgasm every time!” comment makes you choke on your saliva). You can understand straight away why this particular model would be so popular. All of the models are pretty, but this one’s face doesn’t look like it’s from this world. Confinement would make anyone horny, and when promised a godly sex bot equipped with a vibrating dick, well…
Too bad you’re too tired these days to even think about having “mind-blowing sex for 5 hours straight.” Having such intense intercourse would probably make you pass out on the Dweller’s artificial cock, and there’s no way in hell you would want someone from CONNECT to intervene after receiving distressed signals from your body monitor. That would just be embarrassing. 
You’re about to exit out of the page, curiosity sated, when the last model catches your eye.
SEROTONIN BOOSTER. Low on energy? Feeling sad or depressed? Need a companion? 
This model is perfect for you! Model JHS is equipped with emotion sensors. They will fulfill your every need even when you’re not able to vocalize them. Stressed? They specialize in massages and are proficient in: Swedish massages, Aromatherapy, Shiatsu massages, Reflexology, among others. 
Personality : This model is energetic. They are very active and therefore requires a minimum 6 hours to recharge. They are extremely tactile and will easily engage in skinship such as hugs or holding hands. They are talkative and will hold passionate conversations with you about almost any subject. 
Likes : cleaning, working out
Dislikes : horror movies, strong smells
When reading the description, it feels they’re talking about a person rather than an android. You’re surprised to see that the Dwellers are programmed to have a certain personality that caters to specific needs because the only androids you’ve ever come across before are the government ones, and they’ve always been stoic and devoid of any distinguishing characteristic. 
It would be nice, you think, to have a companion. Someone you could talk to for real instead of through a pixelated hologram. As much as you enjoy your time alone, each passing day locked in your apartment makes you realize how much you long for a hug. You miss holding someone in your arms, feeling their heartbeat against your cheek and the rise and fall of their chest as they squeeze you back. 
Model JHS looks like he could fill that vacancy. Their smile is blinding, like they’re physically radiating sunshine through their expression alone. You don’t doubt their capacity to bring positive energy into your life. 
Before you can think twice about it you’re adding the model to your shopping cart. The site asks you if you want to pay more in order to customize them. For an additional fee, you’re able to tweak the Dweller’s personality or modify their physical attributes to your liking. You skip over the option. For one, you don’t have the funds to afford a vibrating dick enhancement and two, you’re more than satisfied with your Dweller as they are.
It’s not until you finish supplying all your information including your Connect Card details and shipping address that you realize what a monumental purchase you’re about to make and how empty your account will be by the end of it.
You stare at the price listed at the bottom of the screen and weigh your options. Even with the 40% reduction, it’s not a negligible sum. You could buy several models of the new Birkin bag you’d been saving up for with this money. 
Why purchase designer bags when you can’t even go out and use them? a voice argues. And - uh. Fair point. 
In any case, you’d have to stop shopping, eating out all the time and going on frivolous trips overseas. Not that you really have a choice, given the circumstances. 
You look at the laptop screen again. Are you seriously so touch-deprived that you’re willing to fork over that much money for a live-at-home android? Really? 
Fuck it. 
You click on [VALIDATE PAYMENT] before rationality has time to kick in and you change your mind again. Just as the screen changes and the new page loads, you feel your heart leap to your throat but it’s too late to back out now. 
PROCESSING ORDER …
...
CONGRATULATIONS! 
YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ORDERED (1) DWELLER - JHS MODEL. WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE. 
(!) Your order is eligible for Instant Shipping (delivered to your door in 24 hours or less). 
(!!) Due to exception circumstances, your order might encounter delays. We are taking multiple steps to ensure the safety and hygiene of all products and shipments. For more information click here.
(!) All BH products are covered by a limited two-year warranty. Please refer to warranty details regarding your product in the Dweller E-HandBook, free for download here. Please register your product after purchase in order to qualify for future claims, returns, and support.
You expel the breath you’d been holding. Your father will throw a fit once he finds out you’ve blown all your money on a bot. The criticism is warranted.
What are you even supposed to say to defend yourself? You’ve bought a  Dweller on a whim while browsing for Vitamin C supplements.
Quarantine is really making you lose your goddamn mind, huh.
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hollyand-writes · 4 years
Text
Quarantine Q&A
I was tagged by the lovely @gremlinquisitor ❤️ Sorry it took me so long to get round to doing this!
Tagging: anyone who feels up to it -- like Erin said in her own post, take care of yourself first, and if you don’t feel like you can talk about this, then please don’t try to force it. ❤️
Are you staying home from work or school?
My husband and I have both been working from home since mid-March. I was already pretty much working from home before that anyway (been doing it for about a decade), so I was used to it and therefore don’t feel my life has changed dramatically. We’re really lucky that our jobs can be done 100% from home -- March and April were really busy months for both of us work-wise, so I think that helped us both cope and feel useful. 
In a weird way, lockdown didn’t/doesn’t upset or stress me out? I think it’s because I had a head start on worrying about the pandemic back in January: I have family in China/HK/SE Asia and I was really, really worried about them for a bit. I follow a few Chinese-language social media accounts of people based in China / East Asia and what was coming out of there was really, really bad -- sometimes worse than what was being reported in Western media -- and people over there were so angry and terrified for months before anyone in the West started worrying about it, I think. 
So, by the time the pandemic hit the UK and lockdown was announced, I think I was just relieved that finally there was something I could “do” about what was going on in the world, if that made sense??? I’d been reading these first-hand anonymous accounts “on the ground” in Chinese for two months by that point, so I felt like I kind of knew what to expect physically and emotionally. (My family and family-friends out there are all fine as far as I know, btw.)
If you’re staying home, who’s with you?
My husband. 9 weeks into lockdown and we’re still very much enjoying having each other around! He misses his colleagues, but he doesn’t miss his commute. We have the odd Zoom party and catch up with his family on FaceTime (it’s weird how it took a pandemic for us to think of video-calling them instead of phoning them), but yeah, he’s been great lockdown company and I love having him home! I don’t want him to go back to work LMAO! 
We work in the same room, but tend to be very good at focusing on our work during the work day, so we don’t really distract each other and give each other space when needed (mentally rather than physically, though; we live in a tiny flat with only like 3 rooms so it’s hard to give each other physical space). We play endless games of Civ6 against the other during breaks from work.
Are you a homebody?
Before 2020? No, not at all. But after lockdown started? I’ve been discovering the delights of just chilling at home with my husband, being busy and in-demand at work, writing, reading books, teaching myself Photoshop (working through an online course LMAO) and playing Civ. 
Also I’ve been really happy about all the money I’m saving from not going out and not buying anything apart from food and books LMAO! 
I’ve not really felt very talkative this year; and after lockdown started, that even extended to many of my real-life friends -- I’ve just felt happy staying at home and not talking to anyone except my husband, for some reason. (As an aside -- sorry to all of you on Tumblr and Discord for not chatting so much -- it’s not personal, it’s just whatever phase I’m going through, both IRL and online!) I’m not depressed or anything, I don’t think -- just happy doing my own thing for a bit.
An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled.
The one that I was most gutted about was the Euro 2020 football tournament (soccer to you Americans of course) -- I had tickets to go to the final in July. But the organisers said they’ll hold the tournament next year and tickets will be valid, so I don’t feel so bad about it now. 
I miss the gym the most, I think. Everything else has kind of sorted itself out (even cancelled events), but the gym / working-out thing hasn’t. I started doing some home workouts with resistance bands at first, but I’ve fallen out of the habit of that somewhat -- it’s just not the same as having an actual barbell in your hands.
I was also meant to go on holiday to Greece with friends (12 of us) but that’s been cancelled. Funnily enough, when lockdown was announced in the UK I was secretly relieved, because I had a lot of social events lined up and my social life had been so busy up to that point that I was starting to get rather overwhelmed with it all. Turns out I’m an extrovert with a strong introvert streak.
What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching?
Hmmmm.... not really so much movies, I think. Aside from Frozen 2 (again). We’re currently working our way more through the 1994 BBC TV series of the classic novel Middlemarch (because I’ve been reading it), but we tend to play Civ, or read, or bake/cook, rather than watch TV.
What music are you listening to?
Gosh, loads, haha! The Frozen 2 soundtrack. Ibiza clubland tunes (to remind me of good times, LOL). Listened to old Eurovision tracks over the weekend (to get me in the spirit, even if Eurovision 2020 was cancelled). Attended virtual concerts that my friends in music bands have been holding. Pretty much everything you can imagine, whenever the mood strikes. Today I was listening to Suede’s Singles.
What are you reading?
Right now I’m reading “Middlemarch” by George Eliot; I’ve been getting through lots of books since February, both fiction and non-fiction.
That said, I’ve not really felt like reading fanfic much -- stopped reading Dragon Age fanfiction in December or January (and completely fell out of the fandom for a while, too) so I’m really behind on every longfic I was following. I’m only just starting to catch up on it all, in May, although I don’t see myself being in fandom/online that much. I’ll get to all your fics eventually! I’m just slow 😄
What are you doing for self-care?
Lots of things, and I think they’re helping because I’ve been coping OK so far (sorry this list is so long!): 
Staying offline -- especially off Tumblr and Discord and Twitter -- more often, which has really helped me get work done (sorry I’ve not been around much, though) and finally getting around to doing all those projects I didn’t have time to do / wasn’t home often enough to do is helping, especially when I can see progress being made 
Weekly therapy sessions -- started these last year when my brother got very seriously ill; the therapy sessions have now moved online via video-call rather than face-to-face and in-person, but I’m still keeping up with them through the pandemic. I haven’t felt like I need it, tbh, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to keep having therapy just in case...
Being grateful for how lucky I am -- I’m still alive and well for now, as are my loved ones, my husband and I are still in jobs / earning money, and things could be a lot worse; for example, at least I’m still able to go for walks in the park: my brother is officially a “vulnerable category” person who has to stay completely indoors and self-isolate for 12 weeks, even though he’s in remission; he can’t even go to the shops to get food
Working -- it’s been really nice sometimes to keep busy. The nature of my work means that unfortunately I can’t completely switch off from the news, so I tend to look at less of the bad and sad news and consume more the “how does the pandemic affect my specific specialism or field” news -- I find that limiting my news consumption is helping
Husband and I go for a walk in the park in the sunshine once a day (it’s been warm and sunny in London ever since lockdown started in March) for like 45 minutes a day. We have a really lovely park and I’ve taken lots of nice nature photos, and have discovered parts of the park and our neighbourhood that we didn’t know before, which has been very exciting 😁
We’ve been cooking and baking a lot more because we’re not commuting, and we’ve got time to cook ourselves nicer / healthier meals, and experimenting with baking puddings and cakes.
Taking multivitamins and fish oil every day, with boosters for Vitamin D3 and magnesium -- I actually think the latter has helped me sleep better and helped with motivation this year, but who knows LOL
FaceTime with husband’s family -- I actually think this lockdown has improved the quality of our relationships there, and they’ve been really happy to chat to us more often than usual
Just... not pushing myself on anything: usually I’m a really chatty and sociable person, but this year I’ve been far less chatty and just not felt so sociable, and just enjoyed being away from people to read and write or whatever. My one and only goal in 2020 is to survive it -- literally, given that there’s a pandemic on, LOL. Anything else is a bonus.
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