#idk i guess it’s one of the few if not the only lyric on the album that feels like it’s there to be clever more than fitting the song | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

futureman · 1 year

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the way we fight

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: you and joel love taking your frustrations out on each other—in more ways than one

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, drug use, canon-typical violence, slight spoilers for minor tlou 2 cutscene, jackson era, enemies to lovers, undefined age gap, sloooow buildup, smut, grinding, rough oral (male & female receiving)

word count: 6.7k

a/n: no idea how this got so long, but here we are! generally my fics are based on song lyrics, so this one goes out to my girl ari and social house. this honestly took a while to wrap my brain around and idk how the end got so filthy but alas, i really hope y'all enjoy! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated 💕

It’s always an argument with him. He’s just so stubborn. Actually, Joel Miller might be the most stubborn man you’ve ever met. There’s never any room for disagreement or discussion with him—it’s his way or the highway. Half the time, you don’t even know what you’re fighting about, hurling callous, empty words at each other as if they don’t hurt. Immensely.

Maybe you really do genuinely hate each other. Or maybe it’s just for the fun of it.

It’s been like this for as long as you’ve known him, which, in hindsight, hasn’t even been that long. Probably a year? Year and a half? In all that time, you’ve never managed to crack his tough exterior and, as far as you know, no one else has, either.

The only things anyone knows for sure are that he’s Tommy Miller’s older brother and he’s got a daughter named Ellie. He hasn’t made a lot of friends here and it’s not hard to see why. He’s mean in a surly old man kind of way and rarely has anything nice to say to anyone—if he says anything at all.

Yet, somehow you still find yourself spending the majority of your time with him. It’s not something you do by choice. It’s a forced proximity thing.

You can’t tell if Tommy schedules you for patrols together because you’re the only one who hasn’t kicked up a stink about it or if he just thinks it’s funny to watch you both squirm. Most of the town thinks it’s hilarious, so you can only guess it’s the latter.

During your first few outings together, Joel wouldn’t talk to you unless it was absolutely necessary, and, even then, all you’d get was a grunt or some grumbled instructions. The silence got old pretty quickly. It wasn’t until you made your first mistake out in the field that he finally started communicating. Maybe a little louder than you’d hoped.

Now, Joel will pick a fight anywhere, usually over the dumbest shit. But his bark is worse than his bite—most of the time, at least.

On his worst days, his anger is explosive and it seems like he takes it out exclusively on you. It’s honestly a little ridiculous that you haven’t just asked Tommy to take you off his patrols already, but there’s a part of you that’ll never admit you actually kind of like your dynamic.

Not a lot happens in Jackson—it’s well-protected and even the community drama gets a little stale. Joel might be a dick, but he keeps things interesting, keeps you on your toes.

And it’s hard to ignore the fire in his eyes that makes you think he likes it just as much as you do.

It’s fucking freezing out and you haven’t even left for patrol yet before Joel’s muttering something condescending under his breath. Surprise, surprise—he’s in a bad mood and about to make it your problem. You throw him an unimpressed look over your shoulder, the best you can muster this early in the morning, and continue to saddle your horse.

“You wanna say that a little louder, Miller?”

He looks tired and annoyed and, god, you haven’t been awake nearly long enough for this shit. Today’s going to be trying enough as it is. You were assigned one of the longer routes and the clouds are already dark with the promise of rain or worse.

There are a few other patrol groups nearby gearing up to leave and their preparations suddenly slow, eyes darting between the two of you as if they can sense the impending argument. You barely notice their loitering, the small crowd inching forward to not-so-subtly eavesdrop.

“No, really, I’d love to hear to hear what you have to say,” you taunt him, hands settling on your hips. “Y’know, it’s really not like you to keep things to yourself. You sure you’re feeling alright today, old man?”

“Feelin’ just fine, sweetheart,” he grits through his teeth, rolling his eyes. “Just hurry your ass up so we can get this over and done with. I’m not tryin’ to spend any more time with ya than I have to.”

You quirk an eyebrow. Sweetheart? That’s a new one. It sounded sarcastic as hell and a little patronizing but, still, that’s not something Joel’s ever called you before. Useless and annoying, sure, but never sweetheart.

Your stomach swoops, but you force yourself to ignore it; that’s not even remotely something you want to analyze today.

“Uh, yeah…whatever,” you eye him strangely, and he abruptly looks away, shifting his focus back to checking his saddlebags. It’s like he’s purposefully avoiding your gaze, and it’s weird. He’s acting so fucking weird today.

Sparing him one last glance, you throw a leg over your horse and start toward the gate at a slow trot. You don’t bother waiting for him to catch up.

“What’s our first checkpoint?” you call over your shoulder, but he’s somehow already right behind you, his horse falling in line with yours.

“You should already know that,” Joel sighs, brow furrowed in what you can only assume is irritation. Oh, here it comes—the inevitable lecture. He does this every single time you're on patrol, whether you’ve done something wrong or not. You must’ve really pissed him off if you’re hearing it this early.

Except—he’s not berating you. Instead, he pulls a map out of his backpack. “Alright, look,” he says, leaning in closer so you can see. “This is us right here, and—,” his index finger traces a route from Jackson, winding along a road that passes through a small neighborhood, and lands on your first stop, located a few side streets off a main road, “—we should end up here in about an hour if the weather holds up.”

Nodding, you look up at him. You hadn't realized how close his face had gotten to yours, and your lips part around an involuntary gasp. His eyes drop to your mouth for a second too long before he pulls away, folding up his map and tucking it back into his pack.

You try to convince yourself that you imagined it, that Joel Miller would never intentionally look at your lips like he wants to kiss you, but you can still feel his warm breath on your skin and it’s affecting you more than you want to admit.

This is…not at all like your normal dynamic and it’s throwing you off. Joel hasn’t raised his voice once today and, at most, he’s only made a few snide remarks that weren’t nearly as bad as they usually are.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” you breathe out, creating a tiny puff of condensation in the air. “It doesn’t even feel like it's cold enough to snow, anyway. The worst we’ll probably get is some rain and we’ve ridden in way worse than that.”

All you get in response is a low grunt, and then he’s lifting the reins, leading his horse in the direction of your first checkpoint. You sigh. Guess you’re back to square one. You never thought you’d miss your spats, and can’t help but wonder what the hell happened to make him change his behavior so radically.

“Seriously, though, are you okay? You’re, like, really quiet today,” you prod, and his whole body tenses. He turns to you, expression angry, and it sends a shiver down your spine. There he is.

“Didn’t I already fuckin’ tell you I’m fine? What, you suddenly lose the ability to hear or somethin’?” He shakes his head in annoyance, and you’re glad he’s not looking at you anymore because you can’t suppress the grin that spreads across your face.

“This girl, I swear,” you hear him mutter as he trots away.

You don’t say anything to each other for the rest of the ride to the checkpoint. The crumbling attorney's office is basically the same as you remember from the last time you were here. It’s old, obviously, and musty, but it’s stocked with random provisions, like food and ammo, so patrol crews can replenish their supplies before heading out to their next destination.

There’s also a killer view of Jackson from one of the windows, and you get distracted looking out at the lights and mountains in the distance. It’s starting to flurry, so you drop your backpack on the floor and stick both hands out to catch some of the snowflakes in your palms. So much for rain.

“You dilly dallyin’ again? Just sign the logbook already so we can move the fuck on,” Joel’s voice startles you out of your reverie. Huffing, you turn away from the window, looking for the pen that’s supposed to be next to the notebook, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“You know what, asshole, you could’ve just as easily signed the damn thing yourself. You were there too, or are you getting forgetful in your old age?” you shoot back as you hunch down, getting on your hands and knees to search under the desk. You hear him scoff behind you.

You spot the pen towards the back, because of course it rolled that far, and bend down so you can reach out a little farther. Your fingers brush one end and then you’ve got it, sitting back up with your prize in hand. Looking over your shoulder, you just barely catch Joel’s eyes darting away from where you were a moment ago, basically puppy-posing on the floor. That’s…suspicious.

“The fuck? Were you just staring at my ass?” you ask incredulously. There’s no goddamn way. He snorts, arms crossed with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“You wish, sweetheart,” he says condescendingly, and there it is again. That fucking word. So, he’s calling you pet names and staring at your ass now? There’s something seriously off about him today and you want to know what his deal is.

“You wanna tell me why you keep calling me that? You’ve been acting weird as fuck all day and it’s giving me whiplash,” you glower at him, taking a seat at the edge of the desk and forgetting all about the logbook. He shrugs.

“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” he says simply, and you squint at him.

“Seriously, Joel? You've called me sweetheart twice today and now you’re checking me out,” you hop off the desk and walk over to where he’s leaning against the wall. “If I didn’t know any better…,” you glance down at his lips, moving closer, “I’d say you were flirting with me."

Well, that made him angry. "Fuck you,” he growls in your face, and his lips are soft where they accidentally graze your cupid's bow. He’s trembling now, fists clenched at his sides, and you think he’s about to push you away when he grabs you by the hips and shoves you against the wall. Your head lolls back and you laugh cruelly.

“Yeah, Joel,” you roll your hips into his and he grits his teeth, tightening his grip. “I think that’s exactly what you wanna do.”

But before you can go any further, there’s a crash just outside the door accompanied by a familiar sound that turns your blood to ice.

It’s unmistakable. The clicking, guttural and stuttered, is followed by a high-pitched shriek that echoes throughout the small space, and you both freeze. You look up at Joel, terrified, and he raises a finger to his lips, eyes telling you to be quiet or else.

There’s no way either of you can unholster your guns—and reload, in your case—without alerting it to your position. Joel reaches for the hunting knife strapped to his thigh, and you move to do the same, only to realize it isn't there.

Fuck, it has to be somewhere. Probably in one of the dozen random holsters you have attached to you right now.

Frantic, you pat at your sides and legs—anywhere it could be—as your panicked intakes of breath gradually increase in volume. A hand slaps over your mouth, and suddenly Joel is crushing your body against the wall, halting your movements.

"Quit," he whispers harshly, lips brushing the shell of your ear, and you nod quickly.

The creature abruptly changes course, jerking toward the open window, and that’s when you notice something familiar by its feet. It's—fuck, it's your backpack. And your knife is gleaming from where it sits, nestled in one of the side pockets.

Stupid, that was so stupid. If, by some miracle, this thing doesn't kill you, there’s no doubt Joel will once he realizes your mistake. His hand drops from your mouth and he glances back over his shoulder at the clicker, gripping his knife a little tighter.

He looks resolute, and it dawns on you that he’s about to make a move. It takes everything you’ve got not to grab onto his coat and pull him back to you as he slowly shifts away, but then something else stops him in his tracks.

Another screech rings out from the other side of the room, and now you know you’re fucked. There’s only one option left now. Either you run, or you get torn apart. He reaches down to take your hand in his, warring emotions of anger and fear in his eyes as he looks into yours, and squeezes; it’s now or never.

The path to the doorway you came through is somehow miraculously clear, and Joel takes off at a sprint, dragging you with him but, to his horror, you decide to do yet another stupid thing.

For reasons you can’t explain, you find yourself ripping your hand out of his, swerving to snatch your backpack from where it lies just a few feet from the clicker.

Joel is yelling, or at least you think he is, and you vaguely feel his blunt nails scratch the back of your hand as he reaches out to stop you, but he can’t. You’re moving on autopilot, can barely register your body moving at all, until your fingertips skim the strap of your pack and the clicker is shrieking in your face.

You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to one before, even dead, and it’s worse than you could’ve ever imagined. The world freezes for a moment and you freeze with it, unable to move or look away from the fungus erupting from its skull, teeth gnashing inches away from your throat.

And then you feel warmth—warm, strong arms wrap around your waist and tug harder and harder until you’re back out in the cold. Joel spots his horse a short distance away, likely spooked by the commotion, but you can’t see much farther than that. What was a gentle flurry less than a half hour ago has become a violent blizzard, and you’re both getting pelted by ice that burns as it scrapes across your skin.

There’s one horse—just Joel’s horse—but there’s no time to think about the fate of your own before his hands are on your hips, lifting you up and into the saddle, and he’s climbing on in front of you.

He urges his horse forward and you’re off without so much as a glance behind you, galloping away from danger and down a street that you realize you actually recognize.

“Joel,” you squeeze his waist and he ignores you. He’s shaking and it’s definitely not just from the cold. You can feel the anger radiating off of him in waves and it’s warranted. You fucked up big time. “Joel, turn right,” you say a little louder, and he’s still not listening. “Turn right! There’s a library up ahead, you have to turn now!”

He growls, and you think he’s purposely going to miss the turn until he’s yanking the reins to the right, nearly throwing you both off the horse.

“You better know what the fuck you’re doin’,” he all but shouts back, and you wrap your arms around his waist a little tighter.

“It’s safe!” you yell, struggling to speak loud enough for him to hear you over the wind. “Ellie’s been there before, loads of times, and she says it’s safe. “

And that’s all it takes to convince him.

The library’s completely boarded up and, with the wind howling against your backs, it takes more than a few hard tugs to yank enough of them off to get inside the lobby with Joel’s horse.

He hands you the reins before moving into the next room, crouching along the rows of aging books and knocked-over bookcases, and you peek in, watching him anxiously. Cracked bricks litter the ground, and he steps over a few as he crouches into place behind a broken book cart.

He picks one up and then shoots you a look, eyebrows lifting pointedly, and you realize he wants you to get back into the lobby, out of sight. You duck behind the wall, placing a soothing hand on his horse right as you hear the sound of the brick shattering against the ground, and wait. A few agonizing seconds pass before you hear him throw one more a little farther out, just to be sure.

When nothing startles or jumps out, Joel whistles and you know that’s your cue to come out from your hiding spot. Normally, that would piss you off immensely, him whistling for you like you’re a fucking animal, but you can’t find it in yourself to care right now.

You’re exhausted now that the adrenaline’s wearing off, and the only thing you want to do is curl up into one of the torn-up chairs in the corner and pass out until morning. But that’s not what Joel has in mind.

“Y’think you’re off the hook for the shit you pulled earlier?”

You sigh, head tipping back and thumping against the bookcase behind you. “Do we have to do this right now? Joel, I’m tired and hungry, and fucking cold, and I really don’t have the energy.”

“Seriously? Sure looked like ya had the energy when you were runnin’ straight into that clicker’s mouth,” he scowls, reaching down to grab something next to the book cart and throwing it at your feet. “Thought ya might want this back since you apparently decided it was worth more than your life.”

You inhale sharply through your nose, eyebrows pinching together. Joel…he—

It's your backpack.

You were so sure it got left behind when he saved you from that clicker and yet, there it is. You lean over to pick it up, but Joel kicks it out of reach before you get the chance. He looks livid and now, you realize, you’re about to get that lecture you dodged earlier tenfold.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Me? I'm not the one having an identity crisis! You’ve been nothing but distracting all damn day,” you scoff bitterly. “None of this would've happened if you hadn't had a complete personality makeover overnight.”

You can’t believe he…is he serious? There’s no way you’re taking the fall for this, not all of it. Yeah, you fucked up with the backpack, but Joel isn't entirely blameless, either. If you hadn’t been fighting again, you would’ve just signed the stupid logbook and moved on like you were supposed to.

"Yeah, alright, sweetheart. It's my fault you almost got us both killed. Maybe you’re forgettin’ I saved your goddamn life back there, somethin' I wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't gone and done something so fuckin’ stupid."

Sweetheart.

"Stop calling me that! I…fuck, Joel, I just don't get you. I get it—I know I fucked up, but…,” your voice cracks and you can feel your lower lip wobbling, but you can’t let yourself cry. That would only prove to Joel what he already knows—you’re weak. “I’m sorry, okay? What more do you want from me?”

He chuckles mirthlessly. “You really wanna know what I want from ya?” He crowds your space, leaning in slightly. His head tilts like he's going to kiss you, and your breath hitches. “I want ya to get your shit together and stop makin’ unnecessary mistakes,” he says cruelly instead.

Your jaw drops.

"No, you know what? Fuck this,” you seethe. “When we get back to Jackson, I’m telling Tommy to never put me on your patrols again. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Think I give a shit about that? Go ahead, you’d be doin’ me a favor!” he yells at your back as you storm away, and you flip him off over your shoulder. Behind you, he sighs heavily, sounding as worn out and frustrated as you feel.

What a load of bullshit. You don't deserve to be treated like this. There's a stark difference between the inconsequential arguments you normally have and whatever the hell that was.

And the worst part? It hurts so much more than you expected it to. Leave it to you to get attached to the asshole whose personal mission it is to make you miserable. This whole thing was fun while it lasted, but you meant what you said. You and Joel, it’s over.

You exhale wetly, tears still threatening to fall as you leave him behind in what the yellowing signs tell you is the romance section. Well, isn’t that ironic.

You quickly realize navigating the library in the dark is more difficult than you anticipated, even with your flashlight. Not even ten steps away from where you started, you trip over something protruding from the ground and almost land flat on your face.

Joel comes running over as you let out a frustrated noise and push yourself up onto your knees. His knife is at the ready like he was expecting danger but, no, it’s just you humiliating yourself even further. He lets out a relieved sigh, holstering his knife, but then just stands there glaring down at you.

“I’m fine, by the way,” you wave a hand from the ground. He shakes his head, reaching down to help you up, and his hand feels so nice in yours—big, strong, and calloused.

You curse yourself for still thinking about him like that, like anything at all, but you can't help it. And when his hand drops yours, it feels distinctly cold and empty.

Shaking it off, you aim your flashlight at the offending spot on the floor. “What is that, anyway?” you ask Joel as he crouches down to brush away some of the dirt and debris.

“A handle,” he mumbles, pulling out his knife again and digging it into a crack in the floor, tracing around what looks like…a door?

“Is that a trapdoor?” You lean over his shoulder to get a better look. He looks back at you and nods, looking a little less angry and a lot more concerned. “Well, should we check it out?”

Instead of answering you, he wrenches the door open and shines his flashlight into the opening. There’s a ladder leading down and you can hear something rumbling below that sounds like a generator.

“Stay here,” he eyes you sternly as he begins his descent down the ladder.

“Uh, yeah, that’s not happening,” you scoff, following him. The ladder’s longer than you expected, and once your feet touch the ground, you reach out to run your hands along the wall, searching for a light switch.

A few moments later, your fingers come across something vaguely switch-like and you flip it, a warm glow filling the room, emanating from about a dozen heat lamps hanging from the ceiling. Your eyes adjust and—

“No fucking way.”

Joel is silent beside you, and you glance over, his expression just as stunned as yours is. You step closer. “Is that…?”

“Weed,” he breathes out.

You didn’t mean to get this high. Really, you didn’t. But you're in a fucking grow room hidden beneath a library in some tiny, backwater town, and you almost just died. So really, what reason was there not to?

The blizzard’s still going strong outside and, at the very least, it’s nice and warm down here. There's also the added bonus of something fun to do while you wait it out.

…Yeahhh, so you might’ve found a mason jar full of already rolled joints between some couch cushions, literally just sitting there for the taking. What were you supposed to do? Not smoke them?

But what surprises you even more than the pot itself is that Joel is smoking it, too.

It’s cute how he coughs after every drag, eyes watering as you pass a joint back and forth. The air is thick with smoke and a strange tension that neither of you can really describe, but you’re not fighting anymore. Not yet, at least.

The couch you're sitting on is cozy and less tattered than the chairs upstairs, so you settle there for the night, sitting closer than you ever willingly have before. Enough time has passed that you’re beginning to realize neither of you plans on moving, either. That you’re actually enjoying each other’s company.

The warmth of him seeps pleasantly through your clothes, and he feels so solid and real against you. Unconsciously, you melt into his side, your fuzzy brain chemicals urging you to feel more, more of him, and he tenses only for a moment before lifting an arm to rest behind you on the back of the couch.

It's strange how readily he's accepting your touch now. With each drag, you feel a little braver and press more of your body into his, draping your legs across his lap and nesting your head in the crook of his neck. He goes boneless when you mouth damply at the skin just below his jaw, his throat rumbling under your lips as he lets out a ragged breath.

You’ve both loosened up so much since earlier. It’s an easy, comfortable sort of peace you’ve found down here, even after the horrors you experienced earlier in the day. Part of you wishes it could always be like this with Joel but, then again, that just wouldn’t be you and Joel.

Your relationship thrives on the way you fight, almost like you can’t exist together without the promise of battle. So, when the high wears off and the world feels less lazy and more dire, you’ll both remember with sharp clarity that you hate each other. The memories will fade away and the war will continue. That’s just how it is.

It’s a little sad when you think about it, but for at least a little while longer, you’ll still have this version of you and Joel. You’ll enjoy the way he feels pressed up against your body; the way he feels pliant and suggestible under your lips.

And you’ll ask the question that’s been eating away at you all day because right now, you’re positive your lips can convince him to do anything.

“Tell me why you keep calling me sweetheart,” you murmur against his skin. He freezes, clearly not expecting you to bring it up again. You lift the blunt to his lips and encourage him to inhale to calm his nerves. The smoke plumes from his nose like a dragon as he exhales, and you're enraptured by the way it swirls through the air before dissipating. He braces a hand on your thigh before responding.

"Well, I…uh—," he mumbles, his cheeks turning a deep shade of burgundy, and you can’t resist reaching out to stroke the heated skin with your fingertips. He breathes shakily as he continues, "I—had a dream about ya last night, and…you, uh—you were…"

He cuts himself off, and your mind goes fuzzy for a moment as you let that little bit of information sink in. So, Joel was dreaming about you last night…and now, he’s treating you so much differently. Calling you pet names, eyeing you up, touching you. It all makes sense—but now you need him to tell you everything.

"What was I doing in your dream, Joel?"

He meets your gaze, looking flustered and a little ashamed, and it's a far cry from the man who was yelling at you not even an hour or two ago.

"You, uh," he clears his throat, still hesitating. You bite your bottom lip in anticipation, sucking it wetly into your mouth, and his eyes darken. He lifts a thumb to your mouth, tugging your lip down just slightly, and you can see the moment his apprehension disappears. "You were on your knees for me," he murmurs. "Doin' such a good job, too, workin' that pretty mouth of yours."

You inhale sharply and his thumb drops, but his eyes never leave your lips. Gingerly, you pluck the joint still burning between his fingers and take one last deep drag before flicking the rest to the side and crashing your lips onto his.

God, they feel exactly like you thought they would, soft and a little chapped from the cold, but so fucking eager against yours. You hold his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs along the roughness of his beard, and he groans as you exhale into his mouth, tasting the smoke on your tongue.

Sighing, you lean back slowly, heavy-lidded eyes roving over his face to take in his kiss-swollen lips and that beautiful burgundy flush. He's so pretty, and you can’t help but run your fingers through his thick, graying hair as he pants heavily below you.

You need to feel more of him, all of him, so you climb into his lap, straddling his hips and grinding down against where he's already straining in his pants. He grips you tighter in response, working you steadily across his hardening cock.

"Keep going,” you moan breathily. You're already so wet, and heat blooms in your belly every time your clit grazes the seam of his jeans. It's a foggy, hazy pleasure, what you feel when he speaks, and you're addicted to it. “Keep telling me about your dream—a-about my mouth…I wanna hear more.“

You feel rather than hear him growl low in his throat as he ducks his head down to your neck, sucking and biting bruises into your skin.

“Your mouth…so fuckin’ wet—s-soft and tight around my cock,” he sucks hard under your jaw, and you gasp. “Takin’ me all the way down, like I always knew you could.”

Your breath hitches, eyes rolling back. The thought of him dreaming about his cock down your throat makes your cunt pulse, and now you're positive you're soaking through his pants.

You bet he thinks about it when you're on patrol together, too—that when you're fighting like you've both got something to prove, he's thinking about shutting you up with his cock. Fucking your mouth to show you that what he says goes.

"M-more, Joel…ngh, fuck, I need more," you reach down to shove his shirt up so you can feel him, his stomach flexing and unflexing under your palms. He starts to buck into your clothed pussy faster, like he's fucking you through the fabric, and you whine pathetically as he tugs hard on your hair, yanking your head to the side.

"S’alright, n-needy girl, 'm gonna tell you exactly how I was fuckin' that sweet mouth of yours last night…h-how you were—," he groans raggedly in your ear, voice cracking, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat racing between your legs. "…c-chokin' and gaggin' around my cock while I was cummin' down your throat…"

He keeps giving you what you asked for, tells you all the filthy shit he wants to do to your mouth, and his hips start to stutter like he's bringing himself closer to orgasm with his own words. It would make a lot of sense—Joel's always loved the sound of his own voice, especially when it's directed at you.

But you can’t hear much of anything anymore aside from the sound of your own stuttered moaning, suddenly so, so close to hurtling over the edge with him. You’re sliding so easily over his cock now and you brace your hands on his shoulders as your thighs start to quake around his waist. He digs his fingers into the plush curve of your ass, pulling you down harder, but you squeeze his shoulders roughly to get his attention.

“Y-you—Joel, you can’t cum,” you whine into his neck, and he all but snarls in response. “No…no, no, no. Want you t-to fuck my mouth—you have to cum in my mouth—”

He abruptly yanks you off his lap, shoving you back onto the couch and wrenching your jeans and underwear down in two hard tugs.

You barely have time to let out a squeal before he buries his face in your cunt, honing in on your clit and sucking wetly. He flattens his tongue, circling once, twice, three times, and then you’re cumming with a loud exhale, gushing as you grind into his face.

Your pussy’s still pulsing, locking down around nothing, as you tug him off of you by his hair.

“Joel—jeans..o-off…now.” You help him push them down just enough to free his cock, and then your mouth is on him, sucking him down to the hilt.

His hips buck off the couch of their own accord and he groans pathetically as you gag around him. He’s petting your head and saying something raggedly above you, likely apologizing for hurting you, but it’s drowned out by the blood rushing in your ears.

Instead of pulling off to reassure him that you very much want him to keep gagging you, you guide his hands to bury themselves in your hair and squeeze his thigh, praying he gets the hint. His fingers tense against your scalp as he holds you in place and, yeah, he absolutely gets it.

Your head feels like it’s disconnecting from the rest of your body as he starts fucking into your mouth the way he was probably dreaming about last night. He’s just so fucking big, and you feel a weird sort of pride bloom in your chest at being able to take him like this.

Tears are streaming down your face from the effort and you’re drooling all over his lap but, fuck, if he wants to do this every time you patrol together, you’ll let him. You take back everything you said before—if Tommy ever takes you off Joel’s patrols, you’ll kill him.

His fingers start to tug harder, painfully at your hair and you can hear him moaning something above you, his words slurred and desperate.

“S-so fuckin’ good, sweetheart, you’re…ngh—fuckin’ perfect,” he grits through his teeth, breath hitching as you wrap your lips tighter around him, flattening your tongue along the underside of his length. “‘m gonna cum…fuck, fuck—need you t-to swallow it all, sweetheart… know you can do it…so goddamn good.”

Humming and swallowing around him, you reach up to cup his balls and he erupts, pumping thick cum into your mouth and down your throat. Deep groans are punched out of his chest with every spurt and you can feel his cock pulsing against your tongue.

There’s so much of it. You try your best to do what he asked, to be good and swallow everything, but it’s starting to leak out the corners of your mouth and down his cock. Slurping up as much as you can, you pull off with an audible pop and lick off the rest of the salty, white streaks remaining on his skin.

When your watery eyes finally meet his, he’s looking at you like maybe he really has been dreaming this whole time. He’s still a little dazed, from both the weed and the intense orgasm, and he reaches out to cradle your face in his hands almost as if to prove to himself that you’re real. It’s a surprisingly tender gesture that kind of makes your heart ache.

Your lips quirk up as you lean into his touch, aching to prolong the moment, and he leans forward to press a sweet kiss to them, mouth coaxing yours open to taste himself on your tongue. You whine softly as his tongue runs along your bottom lip, and then he pulls back, hauling you into his arms to lie back on the couch.

Those heat lamps feel unbearable now. You're both hot and sweating, chests heaving from exertion, but you still refuse to separate from each other. Your brain’s feeling a lot less foggy, so you’re probably coming down from your high, which means Joel is, too. The realization sends a pang of worry through your chest like you expect him to suddenly come to and push you away, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he pulls your back to his chest, positioning your bodies more comfortably before murmuring fondly in your ear, "You’re somethin’ else, y’know that?”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. Maybe you’ll get to keep this after all—and without sacrificing everything that makes you and Joel, well…you and Joel. You twist around to shoot him an unimpressed look, but the burgeoning grin on your face betrays you.

“What, you’re just figuring that out? Took you long enough.”

He scoffs. “Listen, sweetheart—“ But you gasp, cutting him off before he can finish his sentence. No, way. How are you just putting two and two together now?

“Wait…oh my god, wait—is this why you keep calling me sweetheart? Because it's what you called me when I was blowing you in your sex dream?” You’re grinning so hard it hurts. How the fuck didn't you notice that earlier?

There was plenty of time to work it out when you were all but fucking on the couch for the past hour. But then…he didn’t actually start calling you sweetheart until he was cumming, and the realization makes your cunt throb. You file that information away for now, but make a mental note to come back to it later—hopefully back in Jackson with Joel.

…who’s still mumbling irritatedly into your shoulder. You tilt your head back to press your lips under his jaw, and you're quickly learning that kissing that particular spot turns him to jelly.

“You can keep calling me sweetheart,” you start, thinking over your next words carefully. “But I’ve got conditions.”

“Oh, she’s got demands now,” you can hear the dramatic eye roll in his voice. You suck a bruise into his skin to stop the back sass and it works spectacularly.

“Oh, shut up. It benefits you too, asshole,” you glare up at him before continuing. “I want your dick in my mouth every time we patrol from now on. And next time, you have to fuck me.”

His fingers dig into your sides, and you’re pretty sure you just felt his cock twitch against your ass.

“…Y-yeah, I, uh. I can do that,” he stutters, suddenly demure, and it dawns on you how much you like seeing all these different sides of Joel. He’s been mean and angry, shy and tender, and so fucking sexy all in the span of a single day. It's not something you ever would've expected from him.

You used to think he was just some grumpy old man and that his one personality trait was being an obnoxious jerk, but tonight you were proven very, very wrong.

You pull his arms tighter around you, let yourself get lost in the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your back, and hum contently. You’ll have to thank Ellie and her weed-grower friend later.

“Y’know, I almost thought you were gonna say no more fighting,” he says after a few seconds of silence. You look up at him incredulously, and he chuckles.

“Nah, where’s the fun in that?”

thanks so much for reading! 🥰

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months

Note

Can you do something with Vox and the reader and the reader listens to like sus or like nsfw songs (Think like Wheeler Walker Jr. (he’s a country music artist if you didn’t know, be warned)) and/or like morally questionable songs? Idk I’d think it’d just be funny with like the reader listening to a song and it’s just like really explicit😭🙏

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm making a drabble out of this cuz I don't wanna go through the whole song for now- but this is way too funny of an idea to pass up. PLUS, I've got like the perfect song after the audio just popped up on my YouTube feed yesterday. Like, the song has two versions too- one explicit and one clean. Also, I am aware that the idiom in the title means being more cautious- but it kind of applies to Vox when he actually has to make a valiant effort to stop falling in love with you. He absolutely sucks at it but we're not gonna stop him LMAO.

youtube

Despite having prior knowledge to the songs you liked and listened to, Vox was still a bemused mess when guessing your music preferences. Sometimes he couldn't understand why you'd have a certain song in your playlist that just... didn't really fit. He'd even worry that something happened when a depressive song was randomly at the top of your 'most played' tunes for the day. Yet you were completely fine, actually just peachy- which confused him beyond belief.

All the more when he found you at the hotel teaching Angel some popular dance routines from when you were alive. The overlord didn't seem to mind what you were doing, hell- it was a little cute to watch. Even if he had a few qualms about your song choices, a lot of them bordering suggestive, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before.

That was until the chorus of this specific tune started playing.

You wrap around me and you give me life~ And that's why night after night- I'll be fuckin' you right!

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

It didn't help that you seemed completely unbothered by it?! Huh?!

Vox hadn't ever heard that song in your playlist before, if he had the lyrics and melody would be familiar- but no! So you had just decided to add this all of a sudden?! WHY??

He didn't realize his claws were digging into the bar top where he was leaning against until Lucifer pointed it out. Even then, he didn't react to the king of hell's teasing or jabs- merely crossing his arms as his brain tried to catch up with what was happening.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday- a week! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday- Seven days a week!

Were you trying to tell him something?? Wha- how did you even find a song like this?! Much less know enough about the dance of it to teach! He was starting to overheat as his fans whirred loudly. Though at this point, it was mostly embarrassed confusion with a dash of lust.

Husker and Lucifer were sort of having a laugh at Vox's expense where they were standing near him. It had been clear as day ever since that the technology overlord had a thing for you-

This just pretty much confirmed it.

Maybe he totally wished to direct the song at you, if his pink screen was any indication. The guy even had small bolts of blue electricity just running across him, you were seriously sending Vox into overdrive and you had no idea!

Every hour, every minute, every second, you know night after night~ I'll be fuckin' you right, seven days a week!

By the time you had finished dancing with Angel, you picked up on some boisterous laughter by the hotel's bar. Only to see Lucifer and Husker actually losing it because a certain flatscreen companion of yours was bluescreened and sparking where he stood.

What the hell?

You were so confused.

But that just seemed to make a certain king and bartender laugh all the more.

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #hazbin hotel vox #get off my screen series #hazbin vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

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fear-less · 3 months

Text

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 I was a dreamer before you went and let me down

pairing: sirius black x reader

warnings: angst idk, reader is ravenclaw but it’s only mentioned once so it doesn’t matter lmao. also white horse lyrics as the title🗣️🔥

a/n: take this bc i’m writing a long fic rn so this is bad😭🙏

1.6k words ^_^

“Good afternoon, Sirius!” you cheerfully greeted as he and the rest of the Marauders walked by you. He gave you a side glance before facing forward and walking away, not saying anything.

The cheerful smile on your face soon faded. Two months of trying (and failing) to get Sirius to talk to you, let alone agree to go out with you, was starting to get to you.

“What do you want?” Sirius said, not sparing a glance at you.

“Do you maybe want to go to Hogsmeade with me? This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend, so I thought that you and I could–”

“No.” With that, you quickly shut down, the little confidence you had now gone, your lips turning into a line.

“Alright, well, I’ll be off now. Bye,” you said, trying not to show how embarrassed you were.

Come to think of it, you had done everything you could think of for Sirius to like you back or at least go on one date with you.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” your friend Anne asked, patting your back. She had been there for you since your very first day at Hogwarts. You honestly think you would’ve gone insane without her there with you.

“I’m alright, Anne. I just don’t understand why he won’t even glance at me! I’m not that bad looking, right?”

“Of course not, Y/N! I think it’s about time you get over him! I mean, you said it yourself, he never even glances at you!”

You had thought maybe it was time to get over Sirius. “You’re right! From now onwards, I will get over him.”

“Let’s see how long that lasts,” Anne said, a soft smile appearing on her lips.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It was safe to say that it lasted pretty long. Alright, it had only been a few hours, but still! It was around dinner time, and you had stayed a little longer after class putting away equipment and talking to the professor about the assignment.

Sirius couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. He had done half the homework as he felt too lazy to do the rest. All the pranks were finalized and ready to go, so why he felt like something was missing was confusing him.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It was now morning, and you had woken up feeling better than ever. Not having someone ruin the little confidence you had the night before really does change a person, huh?

Before you realized it, it was already time for breakfast.

That’s when your eyes caught wind of Sirius Black, laughing with his friends. Oh, his smile was always so beautiful to you.

“Y/N, no, you will not go up to him. Remember what you agreed on yesterday?” Anne said, tired of seeing you all sappy over a boy, especially one like Sirius.

“I know, I know, but come on, you can’t blame me! He’s just so… ughh!”

Anne sighed, slapping your arm. “Okay, but we have to walk past them to enter the Great Hall. Don’t spare a glance at him, and don’t even speak to him!”

And you did just that. You honestly thought he wouldn’t notice. How wrong you were. He had noticed; he thought that you were too tired to go up to him last evening, so you’d probably one-up yourself this morning for missing last night.

But how wrong he was. You didn’t even glance at him! He was shocked, to say the least. “Woah, she didn’t speak to you or even look at you! Hey, all that rejecting really worked, good for you,” said James.

Sirius forced a laugh. “Yeah, about time. She was getting annoying.” How he wishes he could take those words back. He knew you heard them but wished you never did.

You frowned. Did he really not like you that much?! Wow. You guess it was a good thing to stop trying to get his attention.

Anne gave you a side hug, hearing what he said himself. “He’s not worth it. Ignore what he said. If I was him, I’d be glad a very beautiful, smart, kind girl was giving me all her attention!” You smiled at that.

“Thanks, Anne, but I can’t believe he thinks that way of me. But I should’ve guessed.”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡��ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It had now been a week. A week of Sirius yearning for your attention. A week since you made an effort of talking to him.

Despite the passing week, Sirius found himself unable to shake off the feeling of regret. He realized how much he had taken your presence for granted and how foolish he had been to dismiss your efforts. The more he thought about it, the more he missed your cheerful greetings and your attempts to engage him in conversation.

What really pushed him over the edge was the new guy you were now so close to. He was completely different from him—more quiet, with light hair, smarter, and, more importantly, actually talked to you and seemed to enjoy your presence.

How could you move on in just a week? Move on with a guy completely different from him?

He saw the way the guy looked at you, how your friends would always ship you two together. It was infuriating to him.

What really set him off was when he saw the soft pink hue on your cheeks. That could’ve been you two if he hadn’t been so stupid! Did he really think you would be like James, who has been chasing the same girl forever? Yes, he did think that.

Turns out you were not like James. You had given up in just two months!

"You’re staring," Remus' voice snapped Sirius out of his trance.

"Huh?" Sirius played dumb, not wanting Remus to know who or what he was staring at.

"You know, you could’ve just said yes the times she actually asked you out. I don’t know why you just rejected her. Didn’t you have a crush on her at one point?" Remus questioned.

"I just... I really don’t know why I never said yes. I thought she’d continue to ask me out at least until the end of this year. It isn’t even the holidays yet!" Sirius replied, feeling agitated.

Remus sighed, his gaze shifting from Sirius to you, who was now engrossed in conversation with the new guy. “Well, mate, sometimes we realize things a little too late. Maybe you should talk to her, explain how you feel.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, a mixture of frustration and longing evident in his eyes. “Do you think it’s too late, Moony? I mean, she seems happy now, and I don’t want to disrupt that.”

“It’s never too late if you genuinely care about someone,” Remus said gently. “But you have to be prepared for any outcome. She might not feel the same way anymore, or she might give you another chance. The important thing is that you’re honest with her and yourself.”

Sirius nodded, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have been and what could still be. “You’re right. I’ll talk to her, no more running away from my feelings.”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Remus’s words echoed in Sirius’s mind as he watched you and the new guy sharing a laugh. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts before approaching you.

After a while, when you were alone, Sirius walked over, trying to appear casual despite the nervousness bubbling inside him. “Hey, Y/N,” he greeted, offering a small smile.

You looked up, surprised to see Sirius approaching you. “Hey, Sirius. What’s up?” you replied, returning the smile, though there was a hint of wariness in your eyes.

Sirius hesitated for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. “I wanted to talk to you about something… important,” he started, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Your smile faltered slightly, sensing the gravity of the conversation. “Sure, go ahead,” you said, trying to maintain a neutral tone.

Taking a deep breath, Sirius continued, “I know I haven’t been the best lately, and I want to apologize for that. I’ve been thinking a lot about everything, and I realize now that I made a mistake by not appreciating you and your efforts.”

You listened quietly, a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. “It’s okay, Sirius. We all have our moments,” you replied, trying to keep your composure.

Sirius shook his head, a flicker of pain crossing his features. “No, it’s not okay. I should have realized sooner how much you mean to me. Seeing you happy with someone else made me realize how much I regret not being there for you when I had the chance.”

Your heart clenched at his words, memories of the morning after flooding back. “Did you really mean what you said that morning, Sirius?” you asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of your voice.

Sirius’s expression faltered, guilt evident in his eyes. “I… I was being stupid, Y/N. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings, and I said things I regret. Please, let me make it right.”

You took a moment to collect your thoughts, feeling a surge of frustration and hurt. “It’s not that easy, Sirius. You can’t just take back everything you said and expect things to go back to how they were.”

Sirius swallowed hard, realizing the depth of his mistake. “I know I messed up, and I don’t expect forgiveness right away. I just needed you to know how I feel.”

The tension between you was palpable as you both grappled with your emotions. “I need time, Sirius,” you finally said, your voice wavering slightly.

Sirius nodded, a pang of regret piercing his heart. “I understand. I’ll give you the time you need, but please know that I’m sincere about wanting to make amends.”

#sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x female reader #harry potter x you #harry potter #harry potter oneshots #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x y/n #marauders x reader #marauders

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sooverwhitesandpinks · 1 year

Text

Wish You Were Sober

fratboyharry x friend!reader Inspired by the lyrics of Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray

Warnings: angst, alcohol, weed, frat party, no mention of gender, idk.

You never really wanted to come to these parties. Maybe the first few in the beginning of the semester, but you grew tired of them quickly.

Beer, weed, loud music, and sweaty bodies. The bathrooms were always trashed and the floor was always sticky, but you still spent your Friday nights in these humid frat houses. Not for your personal benefit, but for Harry.

"Is he really worth it?" Your roommate, Gianna asked. You were on one of the couches in the living room. Her boyfriend, Danny, was on her other side with his arm lazily slung over her shoulder, scrolling through his phone.

You sank further back into the couch. Your eyes hadn't moved away from Harry in minutes. He was leaned against a wall in black jeans and a dark henley, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the buttons unfastened, exposing his chest. A red flannel was tied around his waist, he'd taken it off within the first half hour of you two arriving.

He looked too good, he always did. His eyes were bright, his hair was perfect. His smile was killer, though the only thing killing you was that it wasn't being sent your way. The girl he'd been chatting up all night was the lucky recipient.

The girl, Piper, was in one of your smaller classes. She was pretty, you understood why Harry liked her. She was sweet and genuine but fuck, did you wish you could hate her.

They looked cute together, you guessed. She stood in front of him, drink in hand as she effortlessly flirted back. You watched as she shrieked something that he laughed at before they switched drinks and took a sip. They both pulled a face before switching back. You shook your head and finally looked away.

"Is who worth what?" You played dumb, turning to Gianna.

"Is Harry worth pining over? You follow him around like a lovesick puppy and he just keeps dragging you behind him," she tsked, sipping her seltzer.

You ran your thumb over the rim of your drink can and bit your cheek before answering. You and Harry became friends at an involvement fair at orientation over the summer. You were instantly smitten, but you never told him and he acted like he didn't notice.

"He's a good friend to me," you replied, shrugging.

"Is he? He's gotta know you like him, and he plays with your feelings anyway," she told you.

"He doesn't know," you shook your head, though you didn't put any effort into hiding your staring or blushing.

"He uses your feelings against you. He drags you out to these parties, he gets drunk, he knows you'll always take care of him," she sat up, staring down at you.

"He's just drunk, it's not intentional," you responded with a shake of your head, though you didn't know why you were excusing his behavior. She wasn't wrong.

"Either way it's fucked up. It's happened too many times. He brings you to these stupid parties you don't like, he flirts with other girls in your face, he gets too drunk, and you always sign up to take him home. Plus he tries to bone you when his flavor of the night won't fuck him 'cause he's hammered," she ranted. "You deserve better."

"I know," you dropped your head into your palm. You did deserve better. "I gotta get over him."

"Go get another drink, and go dance or flirt or I don't know, just don't look at him again. He'll be just fine without you," she shooed.

You lazily got off the sofa, making a point to look everywhere except the corner of the room Harry was currently occupying.

"Okay, I'm going," you nodded, setting your empty can beside the pile of them on the side table.

"'Atta girl," Gianna whooped. Your first stop was the kitchen, you grabbed your second seltzer of the night from a cooler before stepping out into the backyard.

The cool air of October nipped at your nose and the exposed skin of your knees. The back deck had been converted into a beer pong arena, people were crowded around the white folding table. You bypassed the mass of people and headed toward the bonfire in the yard.

"You mind if I sit here?" You asked, pointing to an empty folding chair beside some guy you'd never seen before.

"Not at all," he shook his head. His voice was lazy and his eyes were red tinted and heavy.

"Thanks," you nodded. You stared into the fire pit as the few other people in the circle conversed.

"You smoke?" The guy from before asked, holding a half-smoked joint out.

"Sometimes," you shrugged, accepting it. You brought it to your lips and sucked in a deep breath, feeling the smoke fill your lungs.

"You seem sad," he observed, taking the joint from between your fingers and hitting it himself. You exhaled.

"Maybe I am," you shrugged. He blew a cloud of smoke in the other direction before turning to face you again.

"How come?" He asked, handing you the joint. You took another hit, held it, then exhaled before you replied.

"I don't even know your name," you said, still blowing smoke. You handed him the joint again.

"I'm Zayn," he smiled before batting his long eyelashes. You told him your name before finally answering his question.

"I'm desperately in love with one of my friends, but he couldn't care less. My roommate thinks he's stringing me along, and honestly she might be right," you admitted. You sat back in your chair as the buzz from the weed startled to settle in.

"Damn," he hit the joint once more before he passed it off to the girl a few seats over from him.

"Damn indeed," you nodded.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, you could feel his eyes on the side of your face even though yours hadn't moved from the flames.

"Not particularly," you answered. If you talked about it, you might cry. You saw him nod in your peripheral before he turned to face the fire as well.

The two of you sat side by side, the crackle of the fire and the cheers of the cup pong club were the only sounds in the air. You weren't sure how long you were sitting there. You weren't exceptionally high, but definitely buzzed. Your drink was almost empty by now, the alcohol in your system only providing a slight buzz as well.

"I'm gonna go get another beer, you want anything?" Zayn asked, rising from his seat.

"I'm okay," you shook your head. He nodded before walking off.

He returned a few minutes later, beer in hand and a couple trailing behind him. The girl, who you now realized was Piper, was holding Harry up. He was behind her, slumped over her shoulders.

"These two were walking around calling your name, I told them you were out here," Zayn said as he plopped down into his seat again.

"Harry's hammered. I asked him who he trusted to take him home and he said your name," Piper explained. She gestured to the boy behind her who stood up upon the mention of his name.

"This your friend?" Zayn asked. You nodded.

"Okay, I'll uh-- I'll get him back to the dorms," you stood, suddenly thankful you hadn't taken another hit.

"Thanks. I would do it but I don't know which building he's in," she smiled, patting Harry on the arm.

"Why can't we go back to your place?" He slurred, looking to Piper, who giggled.

"Because you're too drunk," she told him. "Call me tomorrow, if you can remember."

"Oh I will," he pointed. Piper waved at you before walking back to the house.

"Hey," you felt Zayn's hand wrap around your wrist. "Don't get strung along."

You didn't say anything, just nodded. You grabbed Harry's arm and wrapped it around your neck so you could help him walk.

"Hiiiiii," he cheesed, starting to walk with you.

"Hey, Harry," you sighed.

"Can I hit that joint I saw back there?" He asked, jabbing his thumb back in the direction of the bonfire.

"Absolutely not," you shook your head as you walked alongside the house.

The two of you stumbled down the street, Harry babbling incoherently and you trying to lug him just a few blocks further.

"You're so nice," he hummed, tripping on every third or fourth step he took.

"I know," you sighed, disappointed with yourself.

The two of you eventually made it to the dorm hall, slowly climbing the few steps ahead of the door. You had to instruct Harry on which leg to lift when.

"You're so pretty too," he added. You shook your head and let it roll off of your back, he always started with that. You pulled him into the building and dragged him to the elevator. The two of you leaned against the back wall after you hit the button for your floor.

"I think I might be a little drunk," he giggled. You wanted to laugh with him, but you couldn't.

"Maybe," you simply replied. The doors opened after a minute or so. You stood up again, letting Harry's weight fall back on you once again.

You walked down his hallway, stopping at his door. He mumbled something about this looking like his room as you punched his code in and opened the door.

You dropped him on his bed, his roommate gone like usual. Harry fell back onto his mattress, his fingers sliding down your arm until they grasped your hand.

"You should lay down with me," he suggested, patting the small space beside him with his other hand.

"No, Harry," you shook your head and pulled your hand from his. You moved to his dresser and grabbed his water bottle.

"C'mon, please," he begged. You sat down on the corner of his bed and held his water out.

"No. Just drink some water," you sighed. This was how it usually went. You would bring him home and he would try to pull you into his bed. You wouldn't ever take advantage of him, but it somehow felt like he was trying to take advantage of your kindness and love for him.

"Okay, okay," he nodded before he clumsily sat up beside you. He grabbed the bottle from your hands and took a small sip.

"More," you urged, wanting to leave this entire situation. You pledged to never accept a party invitation from him ever again. Gianna and Zayn were right. You can't keep getting caught up in your own one sided feelings and let yourself get dragged behind him.

"I'll drink this whole thing if you let me fuck you," he said, leaning closer. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky sigh, the smell of alcohol mixed with his cologne consuming you. You jumped when his lips met your jaw.

"Harry, I'm not gonna fuck you," you shoved him away gently. You still hadn't opened your eyes.

"Why not?" He leaned in again, this time speaking lowly into your ear. "We both know you want it."

You shook your head again and shoved him back a little harder this time. You stood from the bed and tried to breathe calmly, but you were honestly at your breaking point.

"Is that all I am to you?" You asked, not turning around to look at him yet.

"What do you mean?" He slurred, reminding you just how drunk he was.

"I can't keep doing this, Harry. I can't keep letting you drag me around. It's not good for me anymore, not that it ever was," you started, turning around to look at him.

"I'm sick of watching you parade other girls around all night. I'm sick of still being a good friend and taking you home when you're too drunk to walk. And I'm extremely tired of you toying with me when your first choice won't have sex with your drunk ass," you huffed, frustrated tears pooling in your eyes. "It's exhausting, and I'm tired of it. I deserve to be called pretty when you're sober."

You looked down at Harry, watching him stare back up at you. He seemed a little less drunk than he was before. He blinked a few times, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm a shitty friend," he shook his head, setting his water down on the floor.

"You're not, Harry. Most of the time you're great. Honestly, it's not your fault. It wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't hopelessly in love with you," you bravely confessed. You figured he wouldn't remember it anyway.

"It is my fault, though. I knew you liked me and I still said all that terrible stuff to you," he spoke. You wiped your tears away with the heels of your hands, even though fresh ones replaced them almost immediately.

"God, Harry. I think I need to be away from you for awhile," you said, blowing out a shaky breath. He didn't say anything, just nodded.

"Are you going to remember this in the morning? You usually don't."

"Do we have this conversation often?" He glanced up at you with a hiccup.

"No, not the conversation. You usually try to get in my pants though," you grabbed a bottle of painkillers and set them on the table by his bed.

"I'm sorry," he fell back onto his mattress again, clearly exhausted. He rubbed his eyes.

"I know," you stated, pulling the door open.

"I wish I was sober for this conversation," he sighed, turning onto his side.

"I wish you were sober too," you walked out.

Masterlist

Part 2

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #fbh #frat boy harry #blurb #gn!reader #poc reader #harry styles x gn!reader #harry styles x poc #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader

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lustfulslxt · 6 months

Note

ok, here's an idea. so tk that one song that blew up on tiktok like a year ago (escapism by RAYE) anyways, what about a reader who js broke up w her bf and is doing the things in the song (in the back of the taxi sniffing coke) and for the lyrics that are like "24 hrs since my ex did dead it, I got a new man on me it's abt to get sweaty" but like Chris is the new man on her?? idk if it makes sence, and u don't have to if u don't want, js think it'd be cool!!

Escapism - Chris Sturniolo

warnings : mentions of alcohol, drug use, smut

a/n : i did change it up a bit, so i hope you don’t mind!!

—

“I found someone else.”

His voice keeps replaying over and over in my head, on a twisted loop, tearing my heart to shreds. It was so sudden and unexpected. To say I was prepared would be a lie. I should’ve seen the signs, but I was just so blind to it all.

I knew he loved me, but I guess I also knew deep down inside that he wasn’t ready. He kept telling me everything I wanted to hear. It was music to my ears to hear that someone cared for me so much, but a voice within kept whispering that he wasn’t ready to fill those big shoes. I need a man that is ready to fully commit to a future with me- no hesitation, no doubt. Even though I knew he was good to me in every way possible, he just couldn’t give me everything I needed and wanted. I knew it. I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to keep living a fairytale in hopes that one day he would be sure about what we had. I figured the longer I waited for him to change, eventually he would become who I needed him to be. I didn’t want to have to start over.

It hurts. I’m sitting here overthinking, a million and one questions running through my head. Unable to sleep, creating different scenarios, while making a mental list of regrets, but I can’t keep blaming myself for someone else’s inability to provide the type of love I deserve. Tonight is just like any other night, difficult as hell, but I’ll do what I’ve always done. I’ll get over it, I’ll get through it. I’ll be fine.

I’m going to push this all out of my mind. I don’t want to just sit and dwell on what could’ve been or the wasted time, I want to feel free and have fun. So, I’m going to go out and do me. I don’t need a man that isn’t fully in it, and until I find one that is, I’m going to do as I please.

Just last night, I was torn up, completely devastated. Now, I’m heading out the door to go get drunk. My uber is parked right outside, waiting for me. Confirming it’s actually my ride, I slip in the back.

“Good evening.” The woman speaks from the front.

“Hello.” I breathe, eager to feel something other than the terrible aching in my chest.

“Having fun tonight I see.” She grins, looking at my destination on her maps.

“Yes ma’am. Need to get out and get my mind off things.” I admit, shrugging to myself.

“So long as you’re safe.”

I only smile and nod at her in the rear view mirror, turning my head to watch the scenery go by. Doing my best to not let my mind wander to the night before, I close my eyes and hum along to the radio. Already consumed by the music, I grin to myself, letting the lyrics take over and dictate my night.

It doesn’t take long before we pull up to the bar, I’m tipping the driver and making my way out as she wishes me fun. From the outside, it doesn’t look to be too busy, which I’m thankful for. I can hear the chatter and the mellow music outside the front entrance, welcoming me inside.

I walk inside, the atmosphere already calming my slight nerves. I can tell I’m going to enjoy myself. I head up to the bar, taking an empty seat at the island, and wait for the bartender to finish up with a few customers at the end. It only takes a couple of minutes before he’s heading over to me with a smile on his face.

“Hey, what can I get for you tonight?” He asks, laying the towel in his hand on the counter.

“I don’t care what, but something strong, please.” I reply, sliding him my card. “Actually, could you start me a tab?”

He nods, “Sure thing.”

He walks away for a moment, punching into his little register. He slips my card back to me and starts making my drink. I watch as he basically fills it to the brim of some kind of dark liquor. He steps back over, sliding me the small glass with a slight smirk. I take it and down the entirety of it, cringing at the burning sensation.

“Keep them coming, please.” I speak, lifting my head and letting the alcohol do its thing.

Shots on shots, I’m now very intoxicated. I’ve never done anything like this, getting fucked up at a bar by myself, but I have to say, it’s not bad. Anything to rid myself of my sorrows. The liquor is coursing through my veins, making my body hot. I can hear the music booming in my ears, though it’s not even that loud. I don’t feel the aching in my chest anymore, and my thoughts aren’t consumed with regrets and self doubt. I feel good.

It’s been two hours since I got to the bar, I’ve had countless of shots and I know I can’t take anymore. I’m going to have a terrible hangover when I get up in the morning. I slide the empty cup in front of me, grabbing my bag and waving the bartender down.

“You can go ahead and close my tab out. I am fucked.” I slurred, shaking my head with a faint smile.

“You got it. Do you need me to order you an uber?” He questions, his brows furrowed with concern.

“Thank you for the offer, but mine’s already waiting outside.” I smile, waving my phone in my hand.

“Alright, take care.”

I give him a salute, drunken giggles pouring out of my mouth. Turning on my heel, I make my way to the front door. Upon exiting the building, the cool wind blows through my hair, and I’m inhaling a breath of fresh air. My eyes scan the street in front of me, in search of my uber driver. A few cars down, I see the car waiting. Attempting to be quick, I stupidly speed walk, causing myself to trip a few times. Luckily, I still hold my ground and don’t completely eat shit. I reach the back door, swiftly pulling it open and sliding in.

“Uh, what’s up?” A male voice speaks, startling me.

Startling me, because he’s also sitting in the backseat. I furrow my eyebrows at him and look around, noticing the car is filled with smoke and the aroma of weed. Then I return my gaze to him, taking in his appearance as he’s cladded in black. He’s got a black t-shirt underneath a black zip up hoodie, black sweats, black air forces, and a black hat sitting backwards on his head.

“I didn’t realize I booked a share ride.” I stammer, confusion plastered over my face.

“You didn’t.” He chuckled, “This isn’t your uber.”

“Swear down? It definitely is, I wouldn’t get in a random car.” I point out, slightly stumbling over my words.

He continues laughing, and that’s when I noticed the blunt in his hand, the cherry red and smoking.

“I’m 100% sure that it’s not, ma. Here, look.” He says, showing me his phone.

It’s displayed on the screen, the type of car and his uber driver, which is definitely this one. I shake my head in confusion, pulling my phone out to show him. Only once I unlock my phone, I notice that I hadn’t fully ordered the ride. My face heats up, and I would be utterly humiliated if I weren’t drunk right now.

“Guess I had one too many.” I mumble, a smile evidently taking over my lips. “Sorry.”

“No worries. We can share.” He shrugs, indicating it’s no big deal.

I raise my eyebrows in question, but he only leans forward to the driver, asking, “Would you mind dropping her off wherever she needs to go? I’ll pay for it.”

“You don’t need to pay-“ He cuts me off with a wave of his hand, continuing his conversation with the driver.

Seconds later, he sits back with a triumphant smile on his face. He sends me a thumbs up, bringing the blunt to his lips and inhaling it, the cherry burning brighter. After puffing on it a couple of times, he extends it out to me, offering me a hit. I don’t know what came over me, but I gladly accept it, bringing it to my lips and sucking it in.

“What’s your name?” He asks, observing me intently.

“Y/N.” I answer, blowing the smoke out and passing him the blunt. “You?”

He takes it with a small smirk, replying, “Chris.”

I nod, leaning forward to give the driver my address, which he types into his maps. I look back at Chris to see he’s already looking at me with a cheeky grin, which causes me to giggle.

“What?” I ask, a large smile adorning my face.

He shakes his head, “Nothing. Just wondering why you’re as fucked up as you are when you’re by yourself.”

“I am not fucked up.” I state, defensively.

“You got into my uber, thinking it was yours, but you never even booked one.” He points out, chuckling at my predicament.

“Fair.” I laugh, ultimately shrugging, “I got dumped, and I decided to get my mind off of it. What better way to do that than getting shit faced?”

“Fair.” He repeats me, laughing. “You don’t have any friends to go out with?”

I shake my head, my lip softly curling up, “Not really.”

“I won’t pry.” He tosses his hands up in defense, before taking another drag from his blunt.

“Do you think he’d be cool to stop at a gas station or something?” I whisper to Chris, suddenly wanting to drink again.

“Yeah, surely.” He agrees with furrowed eyebrows.

He leans up and begins conversing with the driver. I can’t help but let my mind wander again. I’m drunk, in the back of a car with a stranger, and somehow my thoughts still run back to my ex boyfriend. What is actually wrong with me?

“Yo, you good?” Chris’ voice snaps me from my thoughts.

“Hm? Oh yeah, could use another bottle or something.” I shrug in response.

“We’re about to stop at 7/11. I can get you one if you need.” He says.

I immediately shake my head, “No, no. You already offered to pay for my ride, that’s more than enough.”

“It’s no problem.” He casually replies, reaching his blunt back out in my direction.

A smile reaches my lips once again as I take it from him, puffing on it and letting the smoke fill my lungs. I can’t help but notice the way he intently watches me, his bottom lip snug between his teeth. He’s actually very attractive.

We continue talking and joking around, passing time before we pull up to the store. I step out, prancing towards the door, Chris joining me. I spin around, looking at him with a cheeky smile, almost tripping in the process. Chris reaches out and catches my arm, laughter pouring out of both of our mouths.

“Take it easy, mama.” He chuckles, tossing an arm around my shoulder.

I playfully push him away, both of us staggering apart from each other, breathless from our heavy laughter. We get to the door and he leans over me, pulling it open for me, him following in suit. I’m instantly heading to the coolers while Chris heads to the snack aisle. As I’m browsing through the alcohol, I see Chris’ reflection in the glass doors, his arms full of a bunch of junk food.

I turn around with a huge smile, “That’s a lot of snacks.”

He smiled back, shuffling on his feet, “Yeah. I was actually going to ask you if you would maybe want to come to my hotel and hangout?”

It doesn’t even take me a second before I’m nodding, “Sounds like fun.”

“Great. What are we drinking?” He asks, directing our attention back to the coolers.

I open the door, grabbing a random mini six pack of beer. I hold it up to him and he shrugs, neither of us caring. I head to another cooler, looking for something to drink aside from the alcohol. I decide on just a two liter of pepsi. We make our way to the register, piling our things on the counter.

“ID, please.” The man behind the counter says, his voice monotone and bored.

I can’t help the giggles emitting from my mouth, pulling my card out and showing him. He scans all of our things and I swipe my debit card, much to Chris’ dismay. Retrieving our bags, we’re out the door and in the uber again.

“Change of plans, just the hotel.” Chris tells the driver. “Sorry for all the confusion.”

“No worries.” He responds, pulling out of the parking lot.

It takes us around ten minutes to get Chris’ hotel, and in that time, we’ve already grown closer in our intoxicated states. We’ve both gotten extremely touchy, but not even in a sexual way, though I wouldn’t mind. Chris puts our bags of snacks and drinks in his backpack, then we get out of the car. Chris tips the driver, before he places his hand on my back, walking me into the hotel.

We head to the elevator and I’m already pulling a beer out of his bag. I pop the cap off and place it in my pocket, taking a swig as we wait for the elevator to get to the main floor. Chris looks at me and chuckles, grabbing the bottle from my hand and drinking it himself. The doors open and we enter it, him taking another drink as he presses the button to level five, the brown liquor pouring into his mouth so smoothly.

“You’re so hot.” I drunkenly say, bursting into laughter at my slip.

“Yeah, but look at you.” He smirks, nodding at me as he looks me up and down. “You look like you taste good.”

My jaw goes slack, the atmosphere growing more tense. Quickly recovering, I shrug, “Only one way to find out.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” He flashes his pearly white teeth at me, his hand finding its way to my back again, pulling me into him.

His face is swiftly leaning in, his lips meeting mine in seconds. The kiss is soft but hungry, like we’ve been yearning for each other all night. Maybe we have. His hand on my back pulls me even closer, our bodies pressing together, his hand holding the beer bottle out as to not spill in on me. His tongue swipes in between my lips, asking for entrance as one of my hands rests on his chest, the other going around his neck. Just as he shoves his tongue in my mouth, the elevator dings and the doors open, revealing an elderly couple. We quickly pull away and they look at us with wide eyes, Chris and I just chuckling as we exit, making room for them. We look back at them, then back at each other, laughing once more.

As soon as Chris unlocks the door, he’s pulling me in and pinning me to the wall, kicking the door shut with his foot. His lips meet mine in a feverish kiss, his tongue immediately slipping into my mouth. I can’t help but moan at the feeling, enjoying the way he seems so desperate for me. He leans to the side and places the bottle on the table, slipping his bag off his shoulders as well. His hands meet my hips, pulling me into him, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. He quickly shakes off his jacket, his lips never leaving mine.

He then swiftly lifts me up, hooking my legs around his waist, walking me to the bed. He sets me down, pulling his shirt over his head as I do the same, leaving me topless. He grins at the sight of my bare breasts, his hands immediately groping them, eliciting low moans from me. We both kick off our shoes before he lays me back, hovering above me.

“You’re so pretty, mama.” He breathlessly whispers against my lips.

I let out soft whimpers as his lips trail down my neck, leaving hot kisses the lower he went. He hands massage my waist, squeezing ever so slightly. My hands move back and forth from his hair to his bare chest, feeling all over him and keeping him flush against me. His skin is so hot against mine and I can’t get enough of it.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He asks, pausing to look me in the eyes.

I frantically nod, no doubt or hesitation whatsoever. His hands tug on my pants, swiftly pulling them down and tossing them aside. He kisses up from my feet to my thighs, leaving warm lines of saliva in his wake. I can feel my legs shaking a little bit, anticipating what’s to come. His nose brushes against the fabric of my panties, and I can feel his hot breath against my core, making me whimper.

“Please.” I whine, my fingers latching onto his hair.

“What do you need, mama?” He asks, flattening his tongue against the wet patch on my center.

I can’t help but moan and buck my hips, desperate for more, “Please, I need you. I don’t care, just you.”

Just like that, my underwear is lying beside my pants and Chris has my legs over his shoulders. He blows cool hair onto my dripping pussy, the feeling causing shivers to travel up my spine. Without another word, his tongue is plunging into my folds, eliciting a loud moan from me. His mouth moves vigorously against me, licking and sucking every inch.

“Fuck, I knew you would taste good.” He hums into me, “I could devour you all day everyday, never get tired of it.”

All I can muster are lewd moans, my body jerking as he suddenly thrusts two fingers into my entrance. His tongue laps my clit, flicking side to side over it, his fingers stroking me and curling so perfectly inside. My legs visibly tremble, clamping around his head as I feel myself being brought to the edge. With another few pumps of his fingers, and the rapid shake of his head side to side, his tongue pressed firmly against my clit the entire time, my back arches off the bed as I let go, reaching my climax with a loud cry emitting from my mouth.

“So pretty, mama. Such a good girl, letting me taste you.” He praises, licking up every drop.

He lifts himself up, coming back above me. He places his fingers at my mouth, tapping lightly on my lips, so I take them in my mouth, sucking my essence from him. He moans at the sight, immediately replacing his fingers with his tongue, the taste of me remaining behind as we kissed.

“Take your pants off.” I say, breathless from the feverish kissing.

“Are you sure?” He questions, to which I nod, and he pulls them off, along with his boxers.

The sight of his dick has my mouth watering; it’s long, girthy, and rock hard. His tip is bright red, throbbing in need as it drips precum. I wrap my hand around it, pumping up and down a few times, before pushing him onto his back and straddling him. His eyes widen at the sudden change, but nonetheless, his hands meet my thighs and he begins stroking them back and forth. His erection is now pressed between my legs, poking into my heat. I slowly grind down on it, lubricating him with my juices, pulling low moans from both of us.

“Fuck.” He groans, his hands tightening on my hips. “Just wanna be inside of you, mama.”

Granting his wish, I lift up, positioning him at my entrance. As I begin sliding down, his hands interlock with mine, squeezing them as I take his whole length. My jaw goes slack, taking in the feeling of him inside me. I feel him shudder beneath me, thrusting up a bit, snapping me back into it. Our hands rest beside his shoulders, still intertwined, and I slowly begin bouncing. Leaning down, I bring my lips to his, capturing them in a heated kiss. The speed of my motion increases, his hips now thrusting upwards to meet mine, hitting just the right spots.

“You feel so good around my cock. So tight, so warm and wet.” Chris moans, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

The room is hot, our bodies sweaty and sticking together. The smell of sex fills the air, the sounds of our moans and heavy breathing, along with the wetness at our centers, echoing off the walls. The bed rocks back and forth, though not too loud. His dick continued digging into me, my walls wrapping around him so snugly, my arousal being the perfect lubrication.

His upward thrusts pick up, his hands now on my hips, holding me in place as he drills into me. My face falls into his shoulder, my teeth biting at the skin, preventing myself from screaming at the overwhelming sensation. His hands find my ass, gripping and spreading my cheeks, helping me rock into him so perfectly. It takes but only a second for me to tumble over the edge, loud moans falling from my mouth as I clench around him. I feel the hot wetness pouring out of me, soaking his dick and balls. My nails dig into his chest, attempting to help release the built up pressure inside of me.

“Damn, mama.” He groans, guttural moans escaping his throat. “Look so good when you cum, baby.”

I bring my lips back to his, kissing him with everything in me as his thrusts grow sloppy, indicating he’s close to finishing. I tighten around him once more, giving him that extra push, and his hips sputter, abdomen flexing as he lets go, shooting his load into me. I continue riding him for a minute, helping him through his orgasm, before slowly pulling off and whining at the loss of being filled up by him. I collapse down next to him, my head lying on his shoulder, his head on mine. We both struggle to catch our breath, our bodies slick with sweat, both of us heaving from exhaustion.

“I’m glad your boyfriend dumped you.” His voice croaks out, slightly hoarse.

I can’t help the chuckle that leaves my lips as I pat his chest, “You and me both. He could never fuck me as good as you just did.”

—

a/n : okay, sorry, i actually hate this :((( i feel i drifted from the request but i didn’t know how to bring it back without rewriting it and i just didn’t have it in me. so sorry, i hope you still enjoy it! <3

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katinkulta · 7 months

Note

Okay, I'm ready to do this:

What Tommy Cash songs would you recommend for a Kääryle? I've watched the music videos for Racked and X-ray. I feel like I haven't given his music a fair chance.

Uuuum, I'll divide my recommendations into a few stages hehe. "Ranked" based on totally arbitrary criteria (sound, lyrics etc.)

Stage 0 (yeah)

Mute

Stage 1 (easy peasy feats)

xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx (Remix) by 100 gecs feat. Tommy & Hannah Diamond

It's a eurodance song hehe so it's fast paced

Delicious by Charli XCX feat. Tommy

It's great, it's a wild ride imo!

Turn It Up by Little Big & Oliver Tree feat. Tommy

It's basically like a Little Big song, and a fun listen

Stage 2 (now it's starting, I guess)

Give Me Your Money by Little Big feat. Tommy

This could've been on stage 1 but I felt there were enough songs there already lol. This is a banger

Sdubid

It's a short fun song hehe (fun in the sense that Tommy calls you stupid and dumb, and for other reasons too of course)

Winaloto

I think it fits here, don't know why. It's trap music and it will get you trapped

Baba Yaga

This song feels like it's going on forever imo, you lose the track of time while listening to it (it's not even 3 min long btw)

Boy Butterfly

This is a song for all the outsiders <333

Stage 3 (the tommy sound is coming through more)

Pussy Money Weed

Track wise this is so fucking slow, and the rap is also dragging. If this is the first Tommy song you listen to, you wouldn't necessarily continue listening (but for some reason this was one of the first songs I listened to and here I am...). It's a good song though (bread lyrics)

Little Molly

The piano sound is trippyyyy, but it's freeing to scream "LITTLE MOLLY"

Benz-Dealer (together with Quebonafide)

The track tries to attack you but it's totally a banger!!!

Stage 4 (I don't know... it's not shocking or anything like that...)

ProRapSuperstar

Uuuuum... This song is a masterpiece but not for beginners (idk why). It samples Enya's Only Time btw

HORSE B4 PORSCHE

Tommorse is thriving! Again, don't ask why it's on stage 4 (maybe because there's a 4 in the name, who knows?) (lyrics hiiiilarious lmao)

Stage 5 (I would say this is the tommy sound (not heartbass though lol))

Euroz Dollaz Yeniz

This track is fire! The drums AAAAAH

Heartbass by Salvatore Ganacci feat. Tommy

It's amazing but the first listen was hard for me

Surf

This is slow and yeah... I wouldn't want Tommy whispering like this in my ears if I didn't know what his other music is like...

GUEZ WHOZ BAK

Half human half machine not a real fucking human being

Stage ? (terrifying)

Leave Me Alone

Feels like time has slowed down... Paranoia skyrockets

DOSTOYEVSKY

The track is attacking you physically for almost the whole duration of the song... And the lyrics... Let's just say I laughed (pro comedian superstar yes yes)

Siri

The track makes me feel so fucking uneasy and anxious

Uncategorised (I wanted to mention these but couldn't figure out where to put them. They are special to me)

Zuccenberg; Baby Shock; Alien Tears

Goofy note that I've been thinking about for so long: "Tommy stop saying ня" challenge failed

THAT'S IT! I DID MY JOB!

#this is a monster of a post #I'm sorry #(keep in mind these are my own personal recommendations lol)#oon odottanu tätä päivää hehehehe #teal-skull my beloved #music recs #tommy cash #give me a chance to speak and I'll never shut up #käärijä #kattis' music recs

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matthewkniesys · 1 year

Text

i know it won't work - trevor zegras

summary: You let go of Trevor but why can't he let go of you? You know it won't work so why can't he see that? You're only trying to save each other from more heartbreak than necessary. You just want him to be happy.

a/n: this is the second fic in my good riddance by gracie abrams fic series. you don't have to read the first one for this to make sense. so this is my first song fic so please be nice. idk if i did it right. everything in bold is the song lyrics. i recommend listening to the song but you don't have to. i really do love this fic so hopefully yall will too🫶

pairing: trevor zegras x gn!reader

warnings: angsty and some swearing

good riddance fic series

The last year has been hard for you. Nobody ever told you how hard graduating highschool would be. Everyone paints graduating as this big celebration. You're never warned of the hard choices you’ll have to make and the people you’ll lose. The one person you never expected to lose was your childhood best friend and boyfriend of 3 years, Trevor Zegras. And you could never have predicted that you would be the one walking away. Not him.

I left you there

Heard you keep the extra closet empty

In case this year I come back and stay throughout my 20s

Your body is drained of any energy. Moving into your dorm room has sucked any will to do anything for the rest of the day out of your body. You’re excited for the new chapter that University will bring to your life but you’re also mourning the loss of the life you had before. You feel like a different person since everything in your life did a complete 180 a few months ago.

Leaving Trevor was probably the hardest thing you’d ever done. You didn’t just lose your boyfriend that day, you also lost your best friend. It was what needed to happen though. It was this one day when he made a comment about how he would follow you anywhere and give up hockey in a heartbeat that made you freak out. You had to cut ties. Trevor loved you in an all consuming way. You loved him in a nostalgic kind of way. In the way that you two had been best friends forever. You loved him but slowly you were realizing it wasn’t in that same romantic way his love for you was. It was not purely but more platonic. You couldn’t ever see yourself marrying him and so even though it hurt both of you, leaving was the right decision. If only Trevor could understand that.

Picking up your phone to check social media, you see you’ve got a missed call from a friend, well she’s probably your best friend now, since you walked away from Trevor. You choose her number from your recent contacts and let it ring until she picks up.

“Hey, y/n, how are you? Are you all settled in?”

“I’m good. It was a real tight fit, to get everything in the dorm but it worked out. How about you? How’s your dorm? I can’t believe we are literally on the opposite side of the country now.”

Your friend laughs, “ Yeah, it was quite the tight fit here too. The dorms are tiny. But I’m doing good. I’m excited for classes to start.”

You pause for a second, wanting to ask the question that’s been burning in the back of your mind for weeks now. You wanted to know how Trevor was. Trevor and your friend had always been close. When you walked away from Trevor you didn’t want them to have to end their friendship so they still hang out.

Stuttering, you ask,” Hey, um how’s Trev doing?”

“Are you sure you really wanna know?” Yes, you are sure. At this point you feel like you need it as much as you need the air you breathe. You can guess he probably isn’t doing great, you aren’t either but you need to hear it from someone who knows.

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna be honest with you.” She pauses. “He’s fucked up over you. You walking away from him really came out of the blue. He blames himself. He thinks he did something wrong.” Hearing that he thinks it’s his fault breaks your heart. All he did was love you with all of himself and you couldn’t reciprocate that.

“I-fuck. Why couldn’t I just love him back? It’s what he deserved and I couldn’t give it to him.”

“Y/n, it’s okay. In the long run this will be better. At least neither of you will be stuck in a shitty relationship. But if I’m being completely honest I think Trevor still thinks you’re gonna come back. Like you’re gonna realize you made a mistake and change your mind. You probably don’t wanna hear this but he keeps the extra closet empty. You know, just in case you decide to come back and stay for good.”

Hearing that, shatters your heart into a million pieces.

What if I won’t?

How am I supposed to put that gently?

And down the road

You will love me until you resent me

You talk for a few more minutes but then you hang up, your heart wasn’t really in it and you’re emotionally exhausted. You feel as if your body is about to combust. Sighing, you toss your phone on the bed and flop back, shutting your eyes and letting your thoughts consume you.

You shouldn’t go back to Trevor. It wouldn’t be fair to you or him. It would only cause more pain than it’s worth. But maybe a little part of you still wants to. You miss him. There is history there that can’t just be erased.

You feel like you need to tell Trevor that you really meant it. He can’t keep holding out for you. He needs to live his life. He’s at BU this year and next year he’ll be in the NHL. All you want is for him to be happy. You want him to go out and kiss other people and to find the person of his dreams but instead he’s hung up on you.

If he stays hung up on you, if he can’t move on he’ll eventually start to hate you. He’ll love you so much that it’ll turn into resentment if it hasn’t already. And even though you broke his heart you really, really don’t want him to resent you. You couldn’t stand it. He still means the most to you.

I’ve had the thought

Tried to work it out through anxious pacing

What if I’m not

Worth the time and breath I know you’re saving?

Despite being tired down to your bones, you slept horribly that night. Knowing that Trevor might be up at this very moment, not being able to sleep because of what you did is killing you. You aren’t worth this much thought or time. He could have anyone. Any kind, beautiful person that he wants. Someone who can give him everything but instead he’s agonizing over you. For fucks sakes he even has a closet empty just for you. He must really believe you’re coming back.

It’s your first night sleeping in your dorm and that isn’t helping either. You look over at your roommate who is peacefully sleeping, wishing you could be doing the same. You grab a water bottle and chug half of it trying to gain your bearings. Your mind is running wild and you need to do something.

You start pacing back and forth, in your tiny dorm room. You really hope your roommate doesn’t wake up because you don’t need someone you barely know thinking you’re crazy.

You just want Trevor to just move on. To not let you live rent free in his mind. You aren’t even worth it. You’ve seen how many other girls are after him. He could have any of them. You aren’t worth it. He’s saving too much for you and he needs to let it go.

But it’s a lot

All the shine of half a decade fading

The whole facade

Seemed to fall apart, it’s complicated

You’ve known Trevor for your whole life and liked him for 5 of those years. Until it just kinda stopped. You stopped wanting him so much romantically and you just wanted to go back to being best friends. Part of you, a big part, wished you had never even dated in the first place.

A few months before graduating everything started falling apart with Trevor. It stopped feeling right, your relationship. It stopped feeling like where you wanted to be. You hoped it would pass but it didn’t. The feeling kept growing and growing until it felt like there was just a huge hole in your chest where something wasn’t quite right. Where something was wrong.

And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen

I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different

'Cause part of me wants you back, but

I know it won't work like that, huh?

Weeks fly by but it doesn’t really get that much easier. You’re happy and you’re making friends but you still miss Trevor. And you’ve gathered from talking to hometown friends that still talk to him, that Trevor isn’t really doing any better. You can’t get past the fact that you’re the one making him hurt like that.

It’s completely sudden. You aren’t expecting it. There’s no text, no build up. Just one day out of the blue he calls. You don’t want to pick up. It’s only gonna lead to false hope for him that you want to get back together and false hope for you that he wants to simply just be best friends again. But you can’t help it, you pick up the phone and answer.

“Y/n,” Trevor says the moment you pick up, sounding a little breathless.

“Um, hey Trev.” You don’t know what else to say so you leave it at that.

You hear Trevor mumble, “Oh fuck, there’s no way i can do this.” and then he starts talking.

“Y/n, please, please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix this. I miss you. You’re my best friend and the love of my life. I need you.”

Fuck, you won’t get through this. You can’t stand to talk to Trevor, knowing you both feel completely different. And it’s the fact that he thinks it’s his fault. That he did something wrong.

You desperately wanted to tell Trevor that you would come back, that it could be like old times but you can’t. It would be a lie. It could never be the same ever again.

A part of you wants to go back and just say fuck it. You want your friendship back so badly that you’re willing to fake the romantic part. Maybe you’ll eventually for real fall back in love with him. It’s possible, but you know that’s not right. It won’t work like that.

“Trevor, you didn’t do a single thing wrong. It just wasn’t working. It wasn’t meant to be forever. I have so much love for you still but not in the same way that you do. We can’t keep doing this to each other. We need to get past this. Hanging up the phone was hard. Sitting with your thoughts after was harder, but you’ll get through it. You did the right thing.

Why won't you try moving on for once? That might make it easy

I know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving

And part of me wants you back, but

I know it won't work like that, huh?

In the weeks that follow you don’t hear anything from Trevor. Until mid November and then everything starts seeping back in.

First it’s a text. A simple, hey, how are you? And you know you shouldn’t respond so you don’t. And then it’s pleading. It’s text saying we need to talk or I miss you. And you almost respond to those because you can’t bear to think that you are causing Trevor so much pain. But again you hold out and don’t respond. It’s when he starts picking up the phone and calling that you can’t stop yourself.

He called you once, you didn’t pick up. He called you a second time, and still you restrained yourself, but the third time was when everything went crashing down.

You had been having a really shitty day to start off with and you were already in the worst of your feelings, so when Trevor called it’s like it breaks a dam inside of you. A wall that had been holding strong but was now toppling over.

You pick up the phone and for a minute it’s just dead silence. You hear Trevor’s breathing so you know he’s there but he hasn’t said anything. So you decide to speak first.

“Trev, I thought we agreed to cut ties. We can’t keep doing this. You need to move on. This isn’t healthy for either one of us.”

“ Y/n, you’re the one who said we should cut ties, I never agreed. I need you in my life. I miss you.” The desperation in Trevor’s voice makes you want to cry. It makes you feel as if someone took a jagged piece of glass and cut open the wound that was slowly starting to heal. The wound that you inflicted by walking away. A part of you still wants him. But you can’t. You just can’t. It isn’t possible.

I'll open up

I'm thinking everything you wish I wasn't

The call was tough

But you're better off, I'm being honest

You take a deep breath. You need to give Trevor the closure he needs and then leave for good. You need to explicitly say that this won’t work. You need to tell him without any fancy words that he needs to accept that you're not the one for him.

“Trevor,” you plead, needing him to listen, “You need to walk away. I’ve been trying to for months now but you keep pulling me back in. I’ve already moved on but you’re the one who won’t let me leave. We were what we were but we can’t be that anymore. I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago and you aren’t either. Let me go and in the long run we’ll save each other a ton of hurt. I love you but this won’t work. You have to let go. I’m gonna hang up and you aren’t gonna call me again.” You pause, catching your breath. “I wish you nothing but the best. Goodbye, Trev.

You sit in silence for a moment. It was hard. You have tried telling him goodbye before but this felt much more final. After all the other times you tried saying goodbye to Trevor, you still felt as if there was more to the story before it would be over. You hoped the story was over now. It was the best thing for you and for Trevor.

So won’t you stop

Holding out for me when I don’t want it

Just brush me off

I’m your ghost right now, your house is haunted

It took all of five minutes for Trevor to call you again. 5 fucking minutes. God, all you want at this point is for Trevor to move on. To realize this is the best thing that could’ve happened. You don’t pick up. You need to set some boundaries. You can’t keep picking up the phone when you don’t wanna talk. He needs to just brush you off and move on.

But he calls 4 more times that night. And you’re scared it won’t stop. So you pick up. Of course you do. It’s that little part of you that still wants him back that makes you.

“Trevor, you need to stop. I’m sorry but we can’t. I don’t know how many times you want me to say this. I know this won’t work the way you want it to or at all. So please I’m begging you stop. Put both of us out of our misery. You start moving on so I can finish letting go. Trevor, don’t call me again or I will block your number. I don’t want to because for some reason it just feels wrong. But I will. Goodbye, Trev.”

You hang up and this time you know. It’s final. Trevor won’t call again. You’re sad but more than that you’re relieved. You can finally start living again.

It’s as if for these past months you’ve been this ghost for Trevor. One that would constantly follow him. You were haunting him and know you’re finally being set free.

I know it won't work like that, huh?

It’s been years now. You don’t think about it often but every once in a while Trevor will pop into your mind. You’re happy. You really are. And from what you see on social media, Trevor is too.

You try not to dwell on it but sometimes you think about what might have been. What might have happened if you had gone back to Trevor. And honestly you aren’t sure. Maybe everything would’ve worked out and the two of you would be happily together right now. Or maybe it would’ve ended up being exactly what you thought would happen if you went back.

You truly believe you made the right decision in letting Trevor go. You knew it wouldn’t work the way he was envisioning. And hopefully you spared the both of you a lot of heartache.

You’re happy right now. That’s what matters. You and Trevor don’t talk much except for the occasional birthday message but maybe that was how it was supposed to be. You knew it wouldn’t work like that and you made the right decision, for you and for Trevor. You had and still have so much love for him and that’s all it’ll ever be. And you’re okay with that. You really are.

thanks for reading 🫶

good riddance fic series

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates

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hellhound5925 · 10 months

Text

While I’m wrapping up my next chapter of my Hunter fic, I’m going to leave you with this! Side note: that post a made a while ago about fucking up myself over something I wrote? This…this is that something….

One shot- Sargent Hunter

Tattoos (Part One)

Warnings: Idk if I have any at the moment. Part Two will be smut 😏 so I guess no minors 🤷‍♀️

Summary:

Being a man who has a face tattoo for Makers sake, he was naturally drawn to them. The first time he really saw your tattoos, with the symbols covering one of your arms, he was drawn to you like a winged insect to a funeral pyre (Yes I used Sleep Token, Take me back to Eden lyrics...leave me alone).

This is going to take place during the time where the batch helps rebuild Pabu. It’s going to have two parts because I can’t wait for you all to read what I’ve got 😂 I hope you enjoy! Let me know your thoughts!

Pabu was typically quite beautiful this time of year...the sun, high in the sky which creates an ungodly heat that only the cool ocean water could provide relief from. Birds chirping above and moon-yos chasing one another along the rock walls. However, in the last few days, they had endured a sea surge that destroyed a significant amount of the lower levels. It was the first one more than three decades…

Those big brown eyes followed you everywhere you went as you helped the villagers clean up the mess. Eye brows raised slightly, a gentle smile tugging at the corner of his lips....he was mesmerized watching you, your kindness and compassion shining bright during such a dark time. Drawing him in like a moth to a flame.

He watched as the tattoos on your arm were peaking out from underneath the sleeve of your shirt, as you rolled it up to your elbow. Tracing them with his eyes, the ink would forever be ingrained in his mind. Haunting him while he slept. He wanted to know if you had more...he needed to...

“Why do you always stare at her like that?” Omega pulls him from his thoughts. “I wasn’t staring.” “Yes you were.” Huffing a sigh Hunter pretends to busy himself by moving the baskets of fish Wrecker caught. “You do seem a little distracted Sarge” He chimes in. Hunter cocks an eye brow, “We’ve got a lot to do before the end of the day.” “Copy that” the two say in unison.

Wrecker returns to fishing while he follows Omega with his eyes as she bounds off after you. She tugs at the back of your shirt causing it to lift ever so slightly, and could have sworn he saw the shadow of yet another tattoo. What could it be?

———

After spending half a day in the sun and feeling the effects of the heat, you and Omega had gone down to the shore for a swim. Hunter was always checking in, so it was only a matter of time before he made his way down. Sure enough he came and sat under a tree along the shore.

He watched as you interacted with Omega, the sweet sound of your laugher filled his ears. It was like a siren song, calling out to him and drawing him in. He tried to ignore it because after all, he was there to be a watchful eye not be distracted. Huffing out a sigh, he returned to his protective nature by scanning the area for threats and trusting that his senses would also alert him.

As you made your way out of the water towards him, he got a view of the tattoos that covered your arm. The way they crawled down your arm from your shoulder entangling in intricate designs as they made their way down to your wrist. The dark black ink, a beautiful contrast to your lighter sun kissed skin, glistened with water droplets as they rolled down your arm.

His eyes roamed your body as more of it emerged from the water. Revealing yet another tattoo. This one, on your ribs just below your right breast was the image of a wolf. The placement was just so, that it the wolf was running from your back towards the center of your core. The fierce animal quite the representation of the person whose skin was etched into.

By the time you were back on the shore, there was one final tattoo that sent him over the edge. As you approached him, he was unable to look away. Sheepishly you look down, turning your leg so he can get a better view.

“Do you like it? I got it a while ago but never had the chance to show you. I hope it’s okay?” You voice drowning out everything else, his senses were hyper focused on you.

The vibrant ink and indicator that it was newer than the others, sent a rush of sensual gratification through his veins. Placed on the outside of your calf was a skull that was identical to the ones the batch had hand painted on their armor so long ago, similar to the one that covered half of his own face.

At a complete loss for words, he nods his approval while shifting uncomfortably to conceal the arousal that was awakened by the sight of the ink in your skin. Finding himself slightly jealous of the intimacy it had with you. His eyes slowly make their way up your thigh to your core, stopping briefly at the tattoo on your ribs, before traipsing up your arm revising the ink he’s seen so many times, and meeting your gaze.

The realization of his eyes so intimately roaming your body, paints itself all over your face. Butterflies erupt from somewhere deep in your core. Biting your lip to contain the euphoric giggle that threatens to escape, you watch as his eyes flick down to them.

Omega interrupts the moment, “I’m going to head back up to the others.” Hunter answers without breaking eye contact, “see you back up there.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see her cock her head at you both before bounding off towards the stone stairs. You both stay there in silence, search one another’s gaze for the right words.

You are the one to break eye contact first, causing him to shift awkwardly as if he’s unsure of what to do. Standing up he finally speaks “I guess I uhhh…should go see what they’re up to.” Disappointment sinks from yours chest into your stomach like a heavy anchor as you watch him head up the stone steps, Omega had just a few moments ago. Sighing you decide it’s worth heading back to your place for a change of cloths.

Part Two here

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @cloneloverrrrr @idoubleswearimawriter @maybethatfanfictionwriter @techs-goggles9902

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whackacole3 · 8 months

Note

do you have any tips for new writers? you write fast and your fics are pretty damn good so i thought it would be good to ask you!

omg yeah, i can try! here’s a few things that come to mind. this stuff is mainly for writing fanfictions, but i guess it can apply to books as well?

reminder this is just what i suggest, if you think differently that’s okay! every writer is different.

and if anyone has any more suggestions, feel free to either comment and/or reblog with your suggestions.

(also idk what speed has to do with anything but that just comes with practice and motivation 😭)

1.) stop caring and stop worrying. i know this might sound counterintuitive but it's really not when you look deep into it. once you sit down and decide to just have fun is when your best work comes out, at least for me. writing is supposed to be fun, you’re supposed to enjoy it. if you find yourself stressed and dreading writing you’re doing it wrong. remember to take breaks if you need it to refresh yourself. writing is extremely hard, but i believe in you. just try to have fun!

2.) find more ways to come up with ideas. i think most people would agree that prompts are hard and many people don’t know how to come up with them. personally, i use quotes. if you know anything about me, quote fics are my fucking life, man! you can use lyrics from songs, a funny moment that happened in your life, a saying your parent always told you while growing up, literally anything! go wild.

3.) find your unique style. when it comes to writing, everyone has a style just like when it comes to any other art form. i write in a more casual, organic style because that’s what comes naturally to me. don’t try to mimic other’s styles because you think yours isn’t “good enough” or something of the sort. you can take inspiration, but don’t forget to be true to yourself and your own style.

4.) write how you want. piggy backing off the last one, don’t let anyone tell you something is “improper” or whatever. if you think adding a million commas best suits your story, then so be it! i use dashes, ellipses, and semi-colons like my life depends on it. it’s an important part of how i write and that’s that’s okay.

5.) make sure to commit to it. while it is important to not push yourself too hard and to take breaks if you need it, don’t forget to commit to it. try and write everyday. whether it be only a paragraph or the entire story in one go, every little bit helps. it gets you into the groove, basically! i’ve heard some people say that 250 words should be your daily minimum, but personally mine is 100. so it’s whatever works for you.

6.) don’t expect it to be easy. writing is hard, that’s just the case. you are making up your own stories (with already set in characters or not) and coming up with things is hard! it’s going to get confusing at points, it’s going to get frustrating, it’s going to make you want quit sometimes. this will happen especially if you write longer form content.

7.) don’t give up and always believe in yourself. feeding off of the last one, no matter how hard it is, don’t ever give up. take breaks for however long you need, but never give up. you can do this. and if no one else believes in you, believe in yourself. you are what matters.

8.) don’t forget to edit and revise. you don’t exactly need to go over your work once you finish, but it’s a very good practice. if look through it at least once or twice: you’ll find mistakes that you maybe didn’t notice; you’ll notice scenes/sections that you can elongate to better serve the purpose/narrative; you could find things don’t matter and can be removed; and so much more. you don’t need to go crazy over it, but it’s definitely something you should do.

9.) don’t forget/be scared to ask for help. everyone needs help from time to time, even the best authors/writers need guidance from others. ask your friends to help with a scene/part or two if you need it, if they’re willing ask them to edit/beta for you, and so forth. you’ll never get anywhere without the help of others, you can’t do this on your own and that’s okay. you might want to be independent and get there by yourself, but that will be ten times harder than if you just ask for a little bit of help.

10.) write for you and nobody else. i would say this is probably the most important one. don’t worry about what others think, story telling is for you! yes, you might share it with others (directly or by posting it online) but at the end of the day, it’s for your enjoyment and no one else’s. if you want to write an OC and canon character, do it! doesn’t matter if no one cares about your OC other than you. YOU ARE WHAT IS IMPORTANT!!!

#cole talks #cole rambles #writing #writing tips #writer #author #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic tips #fanfiction tips #tips

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mrs-monaghan · 1 year

Note

Hey, since you often catch details and seem like an open-minded person, I want to share what I observed in the last few days. So, I definitely believe in Jikook but that was not always the case. My bias is Jimin and I always mostly focused on him, but once I observed Jungkook more carefully, the truth revealed itself step by step. Now something similar happened since I focused on Taehyung. And it seems crazy, to me as well, but please give it a chance! Watch "Nippon TV BUZZ RHYTHM 02 - BTS Cut" timestamp: 13:55, and watch (and listen to) all of their expressions closely, especially Jikook and Taehyung. Keep an eye on Namjoon, too. Then please look at the lyrics of Sweet Night and really reflect on them. Just as a reminder, there is Taehyung calling Jimin his "one and only best friend" in "Let's BTS" and similarly in Festa 2019, for example. I also am stuck on Jin calling Taehyung very generous and big-hearted in "Special Movie BTS MUSIC JOURNEY" (after the release of Sweet Night) and the others agreeing, their expressions speaking once again. Then finally those compilations where Taekook is apparently jealous of each other. Or Vmin. And now you just have to connect the dots but I did not see any other person who has done so. All those moments, all those compilations make so much more sense to me. All in all, it seems that Taehyung has or had feelings for Jimin. Sounds crazy! Of course we should not assume too much but the connections are there and in hindsight, they seem obvious. You just have to put the puzzle pieces together. I really hope that Taehyung is over it, because unrequited love hurts badly. Taehyung as a person makes so much more sense to me. His actions, his depression, his pain... Well, I guess Jimin did not call himself "Tailor of Chaos" without reason. That situation must have been difficult for him, too. Maybe (just maybe) that is an indicator regarding his state in 2020... And of course on Jungkook. But maybe that is the actual reason why Jungkook and Taehyung seem to be closer now, maybe mending their friendship! Especially, since Taehyung found a partner. And maybe Jikook feel some kind of guilt for causing Taehyung pain... who knows. There is much to think about and honestly, it sounds like pure fanfiction but if I learned something in life, it is that nothing is impossible. Hope you give it a chance, I really would like your opinion on all that. I certainly am feeling very surprised. Have a nice day :)

Yes anon, it takes very little for me to judge people seeing as I'm a lunatic myself 🤭🤭 if I had a shilling for everytime someone called me crazy I would have attended all of Suga's concerts and then some 😂 so u get no judgement from me my lovely 🙌🏽

Except insecure Jikookers, of course. Fuck you! I judge you everyday! 🤨🤨🤨

So! Umm yes. I've seen this theory being thrown around. I have friends who think this might be the case. And one of them is actually really good at analysing and picking up cues and she believes V may have had feelings for Jimin at some point and her arguments make sense.

But for me... idk. Idk anon. 🤔 I have a hard time picturing this. I will share a clip that will be hard for some of you to watch. So brace yourselves

Oh boy. Glad I have my anons off because u guys are already kinda mad at V atm 😂😂

Things to note about the first clip: (I know... I know. It's bad. I recently just discovered it and it doesn't look good, I agree)

a) Point to note number one is that, that is how most people in SK feel about homosexuality. As u can hear V is basically telling Jimin something is wrong with him mentally for liking men. And when u grow up with everyone around u telling u this, of course u will believe it. It also explains why he would keep the company he keeps. (Go Google Bogum and his cult scandal) People in SK don't believe men can be with other men. And those who have seen it happen, think its a mental illness. This was obviously embedded in V for him to have done this not once, but twice. And this is only what we saw on camera.

b) 2nd point to note; Taekook just cannot be real. It's just, impossible. Yes, V has changed, obviously. Hanging out with Jimin will do that to you. He obviously doesn't feel as strongly about homosexuality like he used to. And he loves Jimin and JK which means he has adjusted his mentality. But, this is a guy who used to say basically homophobic stuff to his friend. And as u can see, that clip is from around May 2015 So at what point would V have started dating JK as early as 2013 when this is how he felt about his friend a boy, liking boys?

c) 3rd point to note; Jimin doesn't deny it. I hate how he's just defending himself there repeating over and over; I don't like you that way, so what's your issue? I dont behave that way towards you, why you mad? Anyway, Jimin doesn't once say "no i don't like men." Or "stop lying" he just says "I don't feel that way about you."

d) Last point to note, Jikook is real. Why? Because what triggered V, was Jimin telling JK to sit next to him. And immediately V goes off about how something is wrong with Jimin in the head because these days he likes men. Likes JK.

Now anon, let's go back to point number 2. I know internalised homophobia is a thing. (Thank you Shameless! You taught me sm!) But it stems from someone hating that they like someone of the same sex and they don't want to be that way, but they are. So saying V used to have a crush on Jimin insinuates he would have had to get over his homophobia and start seeing Jimin in a new light. I mean, it's Jimin and the Jimin effect is a thing that exists. But, still. Idk. I just don't know. Watching that clip tells me that his parents are like this. Him being so close with the WS, tells me he wouldn't have kept them as friends if at any one point he started liking someone of the same sex. Knowing how they feel about it.

V is more accepting now, of course. But Jikook are in the closet and only close knit people know about it. And V definitely isn't divulging that to the WS. Again, knowing how they feel about this topic.

What am I saying anon? I think those V jealous Vmin moments that exist are because he "lost" his bestfiend when Jikook became a thing. He had to share Jimin with JK. And I imagine Jimin tried to be there for both of them but sometimes JK took priority and maybe V didn't like that. They used to be bestfriends. Super close. V even looked after Jimin in school. Asked some people he knew to look after the new kid because that was his friend. They were close. Really close. Then satellite Jeon comes and changes everything.

Now to the assignment you gave me. The question was who's the most romantic

Suga (what?) And RM say JK. Guess they've seen it first hand. 🤭 Also Jikook both point at Jin

V on the other hand says Jikook but then changes it to just Jimin

I also looked at the lyrics of sweet night (he sounds so good) and I'm guessing you're talking about this part;

Anon, if you ship Vmin, or are suspicious of Vmin, it would be easy to conclude this song is about Jimin. Easy. But if you're like me who believes V is as straight as a ruler, then the first thing I think of when I hear that, is some girl he liked at the time that he was really close to. Someone he dated in the past, maybe. To me V is as straight as they come and I could try, but I cannot see where you're coming from.

But if you listen to sweet night and then watch V jealous compilations, you're gonna be influenced. Because you're going in already thinking the best friend he's talking about is Jimin! But, remember, you don't have to have romantic feelings for someone to be jealous. You can be jealous that your sister is spending too much time with someone else. You can be jealous your bestfriend doesn't make time for you anymore ever since they started dating. You know what I mean?

That's what I think you saw. In my opinion, of course. I could be wrong and way off base but...yeah.

In Conclusion: Vmin isn't real and there was never potential for it to be so.

I appreciate u trusting me with this ask, anon 😘

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #vminkook #jimin and jungkook #bts #jimin #jungkook

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kittygamer2888 · 17 days

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[Long text post warning]

Guys.. there's something I need to confess..

*Ahem*

If you guys ever thought that my Sonic and Sonic.exe phase are bad.. just know, that..

My Minecraft phase was even WORSE as a kid.

NO- FR- I used to play the game so much on my mom's old computer, I accidentally got blown up by my first mob, which was a Creeper (because I genuinely thought it was harmless), I even got 2 Minecraft plushies (I think.?) And a Minecraft poster of a cat chasing a creeper. I used to have 2 posters, but one of them just didn't wanna stick on the wall, so my mom had to put it away because the corner were already ripped a bit. I even used to have this big Minecraft torch that I would put on my wall as a nightlight (but it eventually faded in light and had to be put away as well)-- hell, I even have a Minecraft bed sheet as well as 2 pillow covers for my 2 pillows (because I had a little Among us phase and now have a blanket, 2 plushies, and a pillow cover relating to that game- BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT ^^"). And if you think that isn't enough, I have 2 little figures of Alex and this... Blaze (I think thats what it was..? Idk), both of them in minecarts stored inside of the little pokeballs I have on the desk close to the mirror. I think I might have a few Minecraft related stuff hidden away, but I'm too lazy to think about them since I just woke up and started writing this-- but yea....

I even used to have the Minecraft Story Mode games, and even Minecraft on the Xbox because WHY NOT?! :]

Though.. I didn't play Minecraft on the Xbox as much since I was so used to the PC version, so it was a bit hard to control it.

Not only that, but the fact I used to hear fanmade Minecraft parody songs of popular songs at the time.... I used to hear so many parodies of my favorite songs, even the infamous "Don't Mine at Night" song 😭

I used to hear it so much that, now when I hear those said popular songs on the radio I always play when I'm asleep, I start to remember the lyrics of those Minecraft parody songs more than the actual songs playing on the radio WHICH- MIND YOU- ITS STILL MY FAVORITE RADIO STATION TO THIS DAY DESPITE THE OBVIOUS SUGGESTIVE SONGS💀😭

But they bring back old classics sometimes and even some good new songs, so its all good👍 (and hey, maybe even a bit of Disney songs at rare times, or maybe some songs that I've heard in animation memes- those are always fun to stumble into when listening to the same radio station for years, now.)

But uhmm.................

Yea-

But I guess I can't say my Minecraft phase wasn't too bad, per se...? Because I did the same with My Little Pony, The Powerpuff Girls, Pokemon, Five Nights at Freddy's(that phase was.... hell, actually. I couldn't stop talking about the game to my parents- and because of the movie that came out a long time ago but is still recent- it boosted the little fnaf phase that i had left hanging by a thread due to my Sonic phase taking over, i got to buy fnaf merch as well--), Bendy and The Ink Machine(it was a bit minor, but it definitely did a very good impact to my phase with FNAF), Cuphead(again, i watched gameplay and started hearing cuphead fan songs over and over, and i even have both Cuphead games that i never finished- i think i used to have a comic dub phase where i would watch so many cuphead dubs as well as FNAF and Baldi's Basics), Just Shapes and Beats (again- i just watched so much gameplay, I even had an animation meme phase that lasted up to 2022, and played the Story Mode many times as well as making my parents play the multi-player mode with me :])-- Fandroid, and then there was a bit of Osu one day, then I went from Nightcore to hearing Vocaloid, and then FNF (which was just watching the gameplays of almost all of the fnf mods I knew as well as hearing some of the fnf mod songs over and over, which i still do! It's just... filled with demon hedgehogs that have a little word next to them called "EXE", so uhm... YEA-), and not only that, but fnf mods were actually the ones that introduced me to the Fleetway comics and even started my Sonic.exe phase (which I still have.......-) and then I eventually watched gameplay of the Sonic.exe fan games, too.)

So, uhm...

Me having a Sonic phase isn't exactly new...

But I'm back to buying merch. And when I say that, I mean like.. I got at least 3 T-shirts of this blue gumball son of a gun, 2 Shadow plushes, 3 Sonic plushes, a rectangle package that has at least 4 or 3 official Sonic art as frames to put on the wall (but I never did because the nails that I see in my room are kinda running out, so it's just sitting there on the floor, using the wall as support to keep it up), a little Sonic school pouch to put in my school stuff, some Sonic stickers--

I think it's obvious that you can find a little bit of everything in my room.

So uh.....

Yah....

That's uhm... that's all--

#kit's ramblings #Minecraft #fandoms #sth #.....need i mention the time i used to replay mlp songs on my radio because it has a disc where #you can put cds on it....?#most of the stuff i mentioned isnt even the half of it #...sort of

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rosypenguins · 23 days

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💙Navy Blue💙

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Synopsis: To celebrate the last week of Summer vacation, Jake and Drew decide to go on a late night drive together.

A/N: Tried something new with this one, hope it’s alright. I love Nightly and I feel like Jake would also adore their music so I just had to kinda shove it in there. Also this one takes place just before the start of Junior year, aka just before the start of TMF. (Might go back and add more between this time period of dating Zoey and summer vacation, idk.) (Also fun fact to anyone invested I think this is the last time on this timeline Drew feels joy so-)

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Drew put the car into park, and glanced up towards the driveway to see Jake running across the pavement of meet him. He had to tilt his head slightly as Jake waved to him through the window. He didn’t need Jake seeing the stupid grin that must’ve been there.

The two had been planning this for weeks now: A late night drive, just the two of them, to celebrate the last week of summer vacation.

“Hey!” Jake greeted as he opened the car door. Drew gave a short wave, and the blonde threw himself into the passenger's seat, buckling himself in before pulling out his phone. “So- I may or may not have made a playlist for this.”

And the idea of Jake putting so much thought into this evening was enough to give Drew butterflies.

“Mind if I-”

“As long as you don’t play J-Pop or whatever the hell Henry listens to.” Drew told him, and Jake chuckled.

“No, don’t worry, I won’t.”

After a few seconds of messing around with the Bluetooth feature, Jake was able to connect his phone to Drew’s car.

“Did you ever think of where you wanted to go, by the way?” Drew asked as Jake began scrolling through his playlists. The blonde paused.

“Heh, nope.” Drew sighed. He should’ve known.

“Guess it’s up to the road, then,” He said. “You ready to go?” Jake nodded, and as Drew shifted the car into drive, Jake started the playlist.

Everywhere I look there’s only shades of you…

No matter what I do, you’re my navy blue…

“You really put a love song in this playlist?” Drew questioned, only to pause when he realized what he just said.

…Jake put a love song in our drive list?!

…Oh, he was not about to overthink this while he was driving. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind.

The sound of Jake’s sheepish laugh pulled him back to reality, and Drew tilted his head to steal a quick glance.

“I know, I know. Not really your thing. But I found these guys a little while ago, and I thought their music would be perfect for a late-night drive!” He explained. “But, you can skip it if you want, I don’t mind.” Drew nodded as he turned out of Jake’s neighborhood, yet made no efforts to switch the song.

I think about you alone in my room…

When the sun goes down…

Drew glanced over at Jake in the passenger's seat, staring out the window and admiring the sunset as he mumbled along to the lyrics of the song.

It doesn't fade when I'm on the road…

And when you're not around…

Drew took in a breath, turning his attention back to the street. He had to stay focused, despite how badly his mind wanted to wander.

Yeah, everywhere I look there's only shades of you…

No matter what I do, you're my navy blue…

And in that moment, Drew felt so, so happy. Happy to be driving with Jake by his side. Happy to be sharing his music. Happy to be alone with him, and happy to journey without a specific goal or destination.

But… there was a part of Drew that still felt unsatisfied. A part that wanted to be closer. A part that wanted more.

Drew thought he’d gotten rid of that feeling long ago. That desperation, that longing… why did it always come back to him?

He wasn’t supposed to feel this way anymore. Hell, he was in a relationship now, with a girl he thought was cute, and fun to be with. And she was popular, and she liked him…

But she never made him feel like this…

Drew swallowed, keeping his mind fixated on the road as he drove them all around Rosemeadow aimlessly, talking to Jake on occasion. Drew practically had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road when Jake rolled down his window, allowing the wind to ruffle his hair. He had to remind himself to stay focused as the sun went down, and Jake’s eyes practically sparkled in the moonlight.

When I look at you, I see navy blue…

*+*+*

Hours later, Drew found himself driving down an empty highway, with only his headlights to guide him. Jake had his head out the window, his caramel eyes wide as he gazed up at the sky above them.

“Hey, can we pull off for a bit?” He asked, and Drew raised an eyebrow.

“What for?” Jake didn’t answer, and instead pointed at the sky. After a moment of consideration, Drew pulled off to the side of the road, putting the car into park and following Jake outside. Drew’s eyes didn’t stray for a moment as he watched a small smile appear on Jake’s face.

“The stars are so pretty out here,” He commented, sitting down on the hood of the car. Drew settled himself beside him, and followed his gaze to the night sky. “I almost forgot what they looked like in person.”

Drew stole another glance at the blonde as he continued.

“It’s so beautiful…”

“Yeah, it is…” Drew said, allowing himself to admire Jake as he’d done so many times before. And once more, he wondered what he had done to deserve someone so wonderful.

But after a moment, he caught himself, and he redirected his attention to the sky.

He shouldn’t be having these thoughts anymore. At least, not about Jake. These kinds of thoughts should be directed towards his girlfriend, right? Not his best friend…

So why did the stars look so much prettier reflected in Jake’s eyes?

Drew didn’t understand… he couldn’t understand. And he didn’t want to understand. Because no matter the answer, it would only complicate his current relationships. And Drew couldn’t afford to lose those.

So, Drew took in a slow breath, and forced himself to focus on the stars.

“You ready to be a Junior next week?” Jake asked suddenly, and Drew thought for a moment.

“Eh.” He answered. In truth, he hadn’t thought about it much.

“I’m not. Everyone always says Junior year’s the hardest. It sounds like it’ll be a lot…”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know.”

…

“You know what you want to do after high school?” Jake asked, and Drew shook his head. “Yeah, me neither.” The blonde paused for a moment, before gesturing towards the sky. “You think they know?”

“…The stars?”

“Yeah. I mean, a lot of people believe in fates being written in stars and stuff.” Drew turned on his side to face him.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re becoming one of those astrology girls. You gonna tell me about the healing properties of crystals next?”

“Hey! I’m just saying. It’s just…” He paused, and turned his head to look at Drew.

“It’s a nice thought, I guess. Knowing that at least something has everything figured out.” Drew turned back to the stars.

“I guess so.”

…

“I wish the sky could always look like this.”

And Drew wished the two could always be like this…

…

Drew opened his eyes, only to be met with the sight of his bedroom ceiling. It was hard to see anything else in the dark.

But… Drew couldn’t recall ever closing his eyes.

Swimming through the deepest oceans of my mind…

Oh… that song was still playing… He must’ve gotten lost in thought when it came on. He rolled over onto his eyes, squinting when the light of his phone hit his eyes.

When I look at you, I see navy blue…

…

Drew skipped the remainder of the song.

#tmf #the music freaks #freakblr #tmf fanfic #tmf drew #tmf jake #tmf drake

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