#incorrect severus snape

[skylarinfinity]

[harry and male reader had to stay in snape classroom for detention]

male reader : professor snape, can i tell you a joke?

snape : [sigh] sure.

male reader : lily evans.

snape : [glaring at male reader] i don't get it.

male reader : [smirked] exactly.

[harry try not to laugh]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

#male reader #malereader #male y/n #incorrect male reader #incorrect quotes male reader #male reader incorrect quotes #xmalereader #xmale reader #x male reader #x male y/n #x male!reader #male!reader #male! reader #male!y/n #male reader harry potter #male reader x harry potter #incorrect severus snape #severus snape imagine #severus snape imagines #severus snape incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes severus snape #severus snape x male reader #severus snape x male!reader #severus snape #harry potter #incorrect quotes #male reader imagine #male reader insert #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes

[severussnapemylove]

(Looking at a list of Order members names)

Y/N; “Wait, for real? (looks at Sirius) Sirius Orion Black? Your initials are S.O.B? So you’re a son of a bitch by name and by nature.”

Severus; (chokes on his drink)

#incorrect quotes #My quotes #reader insert #severus snape x reader #anti sirius black #anti marauders #pro severus snape #harry potter universe #protective reader

[snapeingturtle]

McGonagall: the students might put in more effort if you tried to be a bit more likeable

Snape: I didn't like any of my teachers and I did fine

McGonagall:

Sprout:

Flitwick:

Snape: what

#incorrect hp quotes #incorrect snape quotes #severus snape #minerva mcgonagall #snacgonagall #snapedom

[wybiebat]

i cannot BELIEVE i haven't posted this here. anyways heres a doodle i made a while ago, based off this

#severus snape #severus snape is my blorbo #incorrect snape quotes #snape fandom #albus percival wulfric brian dumbledore #my art

[sayssnape]

mcgonagall: harry is missing, can you find him?

snape: what, do you think i have him microchipped or something?

mcgonagall: well, do you?

snape:

snape: yeah, hang on.

#harry potter #severus snape #minerva mcgonagall #hp #pro snape #snape fandom #snape quotes #incorrect snape quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #source: kim possible #1k

[overlord-of-fantasy]

This is canon

Severus Snape: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

#harry potter #severus snape #snape #professor snape #incorrect harry potter quotes #harry potter memes #harry potter crack

[394halfbloodprince]

Severus: [taps quill]

Lily: [taps quill back]

James: stop that!

Lily: stop what?

James: you’re talking about me in Morse code.

Severus: yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, Me and Lily took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

[later]

Severus to regulus: that’s exactly what we did.

#severus snape #snape #pro snape #professor severus snape #snape fandom #harry potter #professor snape #snapeloveposts #sneme #snape love #marauders era #the office #incorrect quotes #james potter #prongs #lily evens #lily potter #snily #snames #jeverus

[alwaysthehbp]

Snape: I think you should play the role of my father.

Albus: I don’t want to be your father.

Snape: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

#severus snape #pro snape #harry potter #snape #incorrect quotes #incorrect hp #source: community

[worldofwolfstar]

Sirius: Time for plan F

Remus: Don’t you mean plan B?

Sirius: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Lily: What about plan D?

Sirius: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Remus: And what about plan E?

James: We’re hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

Severus: I like plan E

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #incorrect marauders quotes #harry potter #sirius black x remus lupin #sirius x remus #hogwarts #love #gay #severus snape #james potter #lily potter #lily x james #incorrect jily quotes #incorrect wolfstar quotes

[crackishincorrecthp]

Harry, to Snape, 5th year, after a failed Occlumency class: Oh yeah, sure, let's blame the teenager that nobody tells nothing for everything! I'm sure it makes total sense! Oh and I'm suppose to let adults handle everything while I just sit and twirl my thumbs, right?! Well, news flash, I'm the one Voldemort is after! I can't let the adults handle that when I have a psycho after me since I was fucking born! So forgive me if I have a hard time "erasing my thoughts" or whatever bullshit! Snape: Snape: Lily, if you're possessing your son, please go and scream at Dumbledore next Harry: Harry: You know what? I might just do that!

#harry potter incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #harry potter #harry james potter #severus snape #lily evans #lily potter #lily evans potter

[depressed-sugar-baby]

Lily: *clicks pen*

Severus: *clicks pen in response*

James: Stop that.

Lily: Stop what?

James: You’re talking about me in Morse code!

Lily: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!

*later*

Severus, to Remus: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.

#chaotic lily and snape friendship #lily evans #severus snape #james potter #remus lupin #pro snape #pro severus snape #jeverus #snupin #snames #incorrect snape quotes #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect quotes

[severussnapemylove]

Y/N; “I make out with Severus? He's fine. I kiss him on the nose? He's a mess."

Y/N; “I grab his ass? Doesn't care. But if I hold his hand and kiss his knuckles? He's inconsolable.”

Y/N; "Why does simple affection break him?"

#We know why #incorrect quotes #reader insert #severus snape x reader #severus snape #harry potter universe

[blackbirdi]

Harry Potter Incorrect Quotes #2

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry: So how’d you guys manage to crash the car last night?

Hermione: Ron wasn’t paying attention to the road, and there was a deer. So I shouted, “RON, DEER!”

Ron:

Hermione: Go on. Tell him what you said.

Ron: … “Yes, honey?”

*Cue Harry dying*

———————————

George: *Whispering so they don’t get caught out of bed by Filch* What time is it?

Fred: *Screams loudly*

Snape: WHO THE FUCK IS SCREAMING AT TWO IN THE MORNING!?

Fred: There you go.

———————————

Hermione: *Showing Mr. Weasley how to use muggle technology* There you go. Your laptop is all set up.

Mr. Weasley: Will it get heavier if I put more files in it?

Hermione: What?

Mr. Weasley: Like, if I download files will it weigh more?

Hermione:

———————————

*The girls decorating the Christmas tree*

Hermione: Does anyone know where the angel is?

Ginny: *Pointing at Luna* Found it!

———————————

Mrs. Weasley: When I said bring me something back from Hogwarts I meant something you bought at Hogsmeade.

The Twins: *Struggling to contain a Bludger* Well you didn’t specify that!

———————————

Neville Longbottom: So how’d you know Harry was the one?

Ginny: *Dreamily* He looked at me the way every woman wants to be looked at…

Neville: Awww.

Ginny: With fear in his eyes.

Neville:

Hermione: Awwwww.

———————————

Ron: Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Cause you’re a whole snack.

Hermione: Are you silence? Because you make me speechless.

Ginny: Who do you think is going to make this dirty first?

Harry: Turn this dirty? Neither of them, Gin, they’re too cute for one another.

Ron: Are you my pinky toe? Cause I’m gonna bang you against every piece of furniture I own.

Hermione:

Harry:

Ginny:

Harry: I take back my previous statement.

———————————

*After watching Frosty the Snowman*

Ron: What did Frosty the Snowman do other than come to life, do a little dance, and die?

Harry: Isn’t that what we all do, really?

———————————

Ron: You played me like a fiddle!

Fred: Oh no, Ronniekins. Fiddles are actually very difficult to play.

George: We played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

———————————

Ron: *Walking into the living room to complain* Mum! There’s no more snacks in the kitchen!

Ginny: *From the kitchen* But I’m literally right here!

Ron: *Frustrated groan*

———————————

The Twins: We can assure you, our place of business is extremely safe.

Ron: *Looking up at the ceiling* The smoke detector is a white bowl with a red M&M taped to it…

#harry potter #harry potter incorrect quotes #golden trio era #golden trio #hermione granger #ron weasley #ginny weasley #fred weasley #george weasley #the weasly twins #the weasleys #neville longbottom #romione #hinny #luna lovegood #severus snape

[strangesthirdeye]

Severus: What would you like to do today, love?

Y/n: Let's go to the woods, sacrifice someone, and dance around a fire naked in the moonlight. I am a witch you know.

Severus: you're fucking creepy, Y/n.. i love you

#severus snape x you #severus snape x reader #severus snape #incorrect harry potter quotes #severus snape x y/n #alan rickman x reader #alan rickman

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Snape: The kids get worse and worse every year, but people keep making them.

#overheard at hogwarts #source: bob's burgers #harry potter #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #severus snape #snivellus #hogwarts professors #death eaters

[these-conquered-woodlands]

severitus incorrect quotes in chronological order of how a severitus story would go part 2

-

harry: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it snape's problem.

-

severus: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But then they met me.

-

severus: I am in charge of this disaster! harry: I have a name, you know.

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. harry: And I choose to waive that right! harry: *screaming*

-

harry: You saved me! Why? severus: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

-

harry: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. severus, deadpan: Well well, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

-

harry: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside severus: severus: I swear, if I step outside and all of my mugs are on the front lawn- harry: *Sips tea from bowl*

-

severus: ...Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? harry: Your note told me to satanize the house before you returned. severus: severus: Sanitize. I wrote sanitize, Potter.

-

harry: Professor, professor! severus, sighing: What's wrong now? harry: Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. severus: Well then, why are you calling? harry: Well… There’s a crisis

-

harry, holding a scooter: sev- sir, can I go outside and play with this? severus, making dinner: Whatever. I'm not your parent or anything. harry, running outside: Thanks professor! severus, running out after him in a pink apron screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

-

harry: To make up for sending you into a fit of anguish and exasperation earlier, here, have a nice hot cup of tea! severus: It's cold. harry: A nice cup of tea. severus: It's horrible. harry: Cup of tea. severus: I'm not sure if this even is tea. harry: CUP.

-

severus : I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. harry: Mine just says "harry no." severus : I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

-

harry: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Professor Snape and not do the thing, harry: Well there’s a clear right answer here. harry: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

-

severus, looking at a photo of harry: I hate this photo. harry: I look so sweet in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. severus : You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. harry: Up to kindness.

-

harry: *running towards snape with open arms* severus: *moves out of the way* harry: Hey, why'd you move?! severus: I thought you were going to attack me? harry: I was going to hug you! severus: ...Why would you hug me? harry: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

-

severus: What's this? harry, hugging severus: Affection! severus: Disgusting. severus: ...Do it again.

-

harry: *Stubs toe* FUCK! severus: Mind your language! harry: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? harry: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

-

severus : What happened?! harry: Do you want the long version or the short version? severus : Short? harry: Shit's fucked. severus : Okay, long. harry: Shit's very fucked.

-

severus: Just be careful, Harry! harry: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Severus! harry: It's everything around me that's careless.

-

harry: What’s up? I’m back. severus: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead harry: Death is a social construct.

-

harry: ...And if I run at Severus, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. *spins around and sprints at Severus* Comin' in! severus: NOWAITI'MHOLDINGCOFFEEDON'TYOUFUCKINGDARE- *mug shatters, catches Harry*

#severus snape #hp incorrect quotes #severitus #harry potter #hp fandom #snapedom