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miller-n-morgan · 1 day

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And I Feel Fine (.ii)

Joel Miller x Jackson!Reader

18+, mdni

Summary: A new journey lies ahead, and on the very first night you become sure of something that will completely change the trajectory of your entire future.

Warnings: leaving most of the warnings the same because they apply. mentions of death, violence, gore, blood, mentions of sex abuse and trafficking. Mentions of teenage pregnancy. Mention of drugs and substances. Again, literally has ✨️the works.✨️

Word Count: 7k (i'm going absolutely wild)

Now we're cookin'.... enjoy this slice of my brain that I spent entirely too long on. And also know that the first part of the Arthur Morgan series will probably drop this week.

“I ain’t shittin’ you.” You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business. “And what makes you think that?” You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him.

Your contact had gotten you to an apartment. It was worn down, just as every other place in the QZ seemed to be, but it was better taken care of. The people living here must have been attentive about the appearance of their home. A good enough family to leave your baby with.

She stopped you in the hallway, knocking three times on the old wood door, hearing a lively voice from the otherside before it opened. The woman standing there was lovely, about thirty or so, a half smile on her face when she saw you both had arrived. This plan had been in the works for some time now.

“Hello, I’m Maxine Williams,” she greeted, reaching for your hand to shake. You did your best to match her kind and infectious energy, giving her a smile in return. She is after all going to be doing you the favor of a lifetime.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you replied, keeping your head low between your shoulders, though you felt comfortable in her presence.

She leaned into your contact, turning her head, but you heard the whisper “She’s so young…”

“S’why she needs help.”

You understood that this didn’t look right. You should not be pregnant at your tender age, should not have been put in this position. You’ve seen more horrific things than any person ever should, and it all started when you were eight… outbreak day.

“Of course… come in, both of you.”

The pleasantries went on for a while, exchanging information of where you came from, why you were in this area, what you did before being in Boston. She mentioned her husband, her two sons and their love for older things, wishing for the world the way it was. It was all just small talk, leading up to the actual conversation topic: the baby she was about to take off your hands.

“You’ll stay with us until the birth, if that’s okay,” she offered, but it sounded more like a demand. It wasn’t a harsh or cruel one. Even if you slept on the rickety couch you were lounging upon now, it would be better than camping in the woods, sleeping on the hard ground like you’d been doing only a month ago.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

Your contact was happy to see both ends so receptive. She’d never seen a deal containing human life go down this smoothly. Probably because this was a bit more sensitive of an exchange.

“Good… that’s good. I’ve heard you’re interested in a closed adoption?”

You glanced down at your stomach, feeling the weight of it, crushing inwards on the rest of your body. Having this baby and giving it away will relieve the weight both physically and metaphorically. They’ll be in good hands, better than your own could ever be.

“I think it’s probably best. I used to have siblings, but I never really took care of them… I’m not sure I could do this,” You shook your head. You saw her younger son peeking his head out of the bedroom door in the corner, backing away as soon as you caught him. Even in an apocalypse, a child can be happy… just not with you. “I want to give them their best chance.”

“I understand… and we’re going to do our best to make sure they have a normal childhood,” she responded, leaning forward and placing a comforting hand on your knee.

“Thank you…”

You had sat down on one of the containment units, feeling as though the adrenaline rush from the ambush was beginning to wear off. Tommy found Maria not far away from where you were sitting, and began to ask his special favor. It was crazy, he knew it, you knew it… but it had to be done. This girl was somehow important, to the fireflies and to all of mankind, and you were starting to wonder why. Joel hadn’t said a word, sitting across from you and awaiting the news that would surely come from his brother’s discussion with his wife.

“So, you’ve been traveling with Ellie?”

He looked up at you from his boot laces, his eyes were heavy, and he didn’t seem in the mood to talk. He was grumpy in nature, but you could tell there was more underneath the tough exterior.

“I have.” And no further explanation was given.

You didn’t think it was best to keep trying your luck, keep on asking him questions. He wasn’t the talking type and you figured you’d be wasting your time… but speak of the devil, Ellie came up to him just as the conversation between Tommy and Maria was getting heated.

“What’s that all about?” She nodded in their direction. She looked scared, like a deer caught in headlights, just not as frozen. Wide eyed and unable to look away from the scene. “Does that have anything to do with me?”

She was smart, she’d pick up on the words they were saying - more like yelling - to each other. The context clues were there, Joel would have to be an idiot to think she’d just let him off the hook.

“We’ll talk about it later…” he grumbled, his annoyance already at a high from your unimportant questions and the fighting in the background.

“Did he tell you where the lab is?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she got even closer to hear them.

The lab? Is that where the fireflies would be? You vaguely remember the days you spent with the resistance group, but you don’t remember anything about a lab…

“We’ll talk about it later,” he repeated himself, almost as a warning.

She turned to Tommy and Maria, then back to Joel, her face one of distrust and sadness. She knew, she could tell. Joel was trying to get rid of her.

You wanted to say something, to jump in and tell her that she didn’t need to be scared, didn’t need to be worried about where she was going. That you would go with her and it would be okay… but that wouldn’t help a damn thing. Even if you turn out to be her biological mother, you are most definitely not her mom, and cannot console her as one.

“Later… right,” she trailed, backing away from Joel and off to another sectional of the checkpoint.

Joel looked back to you, your eyes already on him.

He sighed, at first not saying a word… but when he made a full rotation of his eyeline and you were still staring holes into him, he had to speak up.

“If you’re lookin’ to judge me, then just-.”

“I’m not.”

Your interruption cut him off, and he didn’t really know what else to say. He nodded, not looking away from you, but rather trying to figure out what it is you needed from him. Your stare was not discomforting but it felt demanding. It wanted something.

“How long have you known her?” You finally spit out, tucking a leg under your elbow as you sat back. You knew you’d gotten his attention, now.

“Few months, now. I’m supposed to take her to the fireflies as a favor to someone.”

“What do the fireflies want with a fourteen year old kid?”

He sighed, raising his shoulders in a shrug like he didn’t know. He must’ve been lying, right? You’d gotten pretty good at reading people, but for some reason you couldn’t tell with him. Maybe you just didn’t know him well enough…

“M’not really sure. All I knew in the beginning was that I could get paid pretty well, so I took her.”

You nodded. He didn’t seem like the person that did things for the sake of them, Tommy had told you stories about him, the things he used to do. If it was for his survival, he’d do it… but just for the sake of getting paid? When barely anything left had real monetary value? It sounded like bullshit.

“She seems to trust you an awful lot,” you gestured between him and the empty space she’d left.

There was another beat of silence, to which he didn’t use for reply. Instead he sat, his back curled over and his shoulders sunken inwards. He was tired, he was worn. He needed to rest, but this life wouldn’t let him.

“She knows you’re handing her off…”

“I reckon she does, yeah.”

And right over your shoulder you heard the climax of Tommy and Maria’s argument. She held a pointed finger in his face, before he finally insisted on Joel’s plan. She couldn’t move him. He was going to do this whether she liked it or not… which is something you haven’t seen out of Tommy for years. Joel must mean a hell of a lot to him, to up and leave Maria on a dangerous errand like this.

You stay seated when Maria walks over to Joel, and then when Joel stands up to talk to Tommy. You stay seated and think… I can keep Tommy safe. I’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain from learning about this girl. I can bring him home to Maria, even if it means my life.

But you immediately stand when you hear Tommy’s rapid speech. “That girl of yours. she took one of our horses and rode off,” and then he glanced at you with an eyeroll. “She took provoker…”

You huffed a sigh, following the men over to the front of the sectional, the open trail up ahead. Maria was mad at Tommy, so obviously she wouldn’t be accompanying them… and that left you. Casper didn’t like men.

“Damnit, which way?” Joel asked, his steps were heavy on the muddy ground.

“I just saw her riding out of here!” Terry yelled, loosening the reins on two more horses he’d brought over for assistance.

“Alright, get back inside, help the others clean the place up,” Tommy told the man, nodding for you to mount the back of his horse after he’d climbed up himself. You chanced a look at Joel, riding across from you both. His face was mixed with anger and determination, and it reminded you of what Tommy looked like after hours of hunting. They were the epitome of brothers, though you’d never met the other half before.

You all followed the tracks, leading every which way it seemed. Some of the tracks were fresh, and some were older, but it was hard to tell when the grounds here were moist all the time, never really drying up and creating lasting prints on the dirt.

After a while of riding, and running into some raiders - who were easily fended off - you saw your horse standing in front of an old farmhouse, the reins tied to a pole holding up the roof of the porch. You jumped from Tommy’s mare and ran up to Casper, petting his mane and making sure he was alright. There didn’t seem to be a scratch on him.

You watched Joel enter the house, waiting back with Tommy. Even though Joel was the one she ran away from, you couldn’t imagine she’d be thrilled to see you or Tommy instead. Joel had a good reason to do what he did. He didn’t feel strong enough or fast enough for this job anymore. He didn’t feel like he could keep her safe. You unfortunately understood that feeling a little too well, and if you were correct on your suspicions, it would have been with the exact same kid.

Tommy unstrapped his gun from his back, holding it steady and watching the surroundings whilst he leaned against the porch beam you were standing by. He was trying to gage whether or not your horse was calm enough for him to approach you closer, knowing what would happen if he wasn’t.

“I think you’re right, you know…” He trailed, his voice quiet on the off chance of an open window.

“You do?”

You turned to him, you didn’t exactly have to think twice about what he meant.

“Yeah,” he nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. “It makes sense… the timing n’ everything. She looks a hell of a lot like you… and she’s caused about as much trouble today as the first time I met you.”

“Causing trouble is genetic?” You laughed, your eyes watering a bit at the implications he made. She might be yours. Your daughter, who you didn’t think you’d see again.

“Hell, it might be. Your kinda trouble, anyway… stealin’ horses and shit.”

The nod of your head was slow, the thought of this all sinking in. It made perfect sense and yet coming to terms with the facts of ‘it is’ instead of ‘it could be’ makes you feel light headed.

You didn’t know if he was being serious or if he was just trying to make you feel better, but the look on his face told you the former. He wouldn’t just lie to you, he knew you could read him.

“I keep turning it over in my head, tryin’ to think of ways I could prove it to myself… I think just seein’ her was enough for me. I’m remembering things I thought I forgot about a long time ago.”

Now it was his turn to nod, but your moment was caught short when you heard a branch snap around the corner. You instinctively pulled your gun from your pants, holding it out in the direction the snap came from. Tommy raised his rifle, doing the same and gesturing for you to go inside. You both made it in the doorway before the threat made itself known. Two guys, coming around the corner. They hadn’t realized you were watching them yet, but they did a quick scan, making sure there wasn’t any immediate danger.

“Get upstairs,” he said in a whisper, but you snapped your head to face him.

“No way, the odds are even if I stay,” you argued, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a fight right now. It was too risky to have you both down here.

“Go tell Joel to get his ass down here, you stay up with the kid.”

“Like hell I’m going up there. Your brother scares me,” you say in a half joking mumble, keeping watch on the two strangers that were now surrounding your horse. They were about to get kicked in the ass if they didn’t step away.

Tommy realizes that them being distracted gives a good amount of time to leave without cover.

“Alright, but you first,” he shrugged a shoulder towards the staircase, and with one last glance to your horse, you left your corner by the window.

You quickly ran up the stairs, ducking a head in a few rooms before finding the one Joel and Ellie were in.

“Get it together, we’re not alone,” Tommy said as soon as you got inside the door.

“I got two walking in,” Joel leaned towards the sliding window to get some eyes on the situation.

“There’s more inside already…”

You backed against the door, Tommy against the dresser on the opposite side. Joel stepped over in front of you, and Ellie behind Tommy. You didn’t realize until now, but taking a glance at Ellie, she looked even worse than when she left. Her face was sullen and her head was dropped. She didn’t seem to be snapping into reality, even with the weight of the situation.

You stayed by her throughout the house, when Tommy and Joel started shooting, you stood in front of her, covering them from back behind. It was weird, these maternal feelings that had never sparked within you before, only now arising for this specific human that had no clue who you were.

Once outside, it seemed strange. The dynamic between the four of you was so incredibly awkward. Everyone was thinking on a different topic, and the silence could echo on for miles. You nodded for Ellie to mount the back of your horse, since she didn’t seem comfortable to ride with Joel for the time being. She climbed up behind you and for a second you smiled, because this is your daughter, you know it… but soon after, your mind quickly succumbed to the general silence.

The nature and scenery surrounding you seemed to be duller than before, the pretty autumnal colors becoming ugly in the sense that you didn’t appreciate them right now. You loved the beginning of fall, but the feelings spread among you are tense and terrible, worse than raking up the fallen leaves before winter.

The feeling never leaves, it stays until you all reach the edge of the town.

“I’m not hungry,” you swore, shoving the extra plate of food away from your placemat.

Manxine’s husband was hungry, and you’d noticed him and his wife being decent enough to give you some of their food the past few days. It wasn’t necessary, because you weren’t working, and you weren’t barely helping them. They were helping you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Taking extra food that wasn’t just lying around felt like stealing. You’d never been a stranger to it before, but these people were far too kind, too gentle. They made you feel like maybe the world wasn’t completely at its end. It still turned, and people were still good, despite everything.

“Yes you are, and you should be,” Maxine pushed the plate back in front of you. Her goal had been to ‘put a little meat on your bones’ as long as you were under her roof.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Promise or no promise, you need to eat more. You’re still too thin to try and survive childbirth, ya hear?” She put the old fork back into your open hand, and you sighed. It was sometimes hard to eat more than you normally did, on the account of your body not being used to it. If you ate more than usual would it make you sick? If you threw up the extra rations they were spotting you, you’d feel terrible, but she kept insisting.

You opened your mouth to take a bite, swallowing it down and feeling the slight discomfort start to settle. Already you’d been eating a lot more than before the QZ, and you didn’t realize how slowly your appetite would have to grow.

After a few more bites you had to drop the fork to your plate, feeling too full already to keep on. You felt terrible, refusing extra portions that were meant to keep you healthy. Whether or not it was caused by the pregnancy hormones, or just your own emotional breakdown, you weren’t sure… but you started tearing up while sitting at the table.

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, covering your mouth and sitting back while the tears rolled down.

“Don’t you apologize, sweetheart,” Maxine uttered softly, her presence at your side immediately.

To her, none of this effort was wasted, or overdone. She and her husband, though some of the better off people in the QZ by job merritt, couldn’t seem to have another baby. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, or stress that they couldn’t afford it. It was simply the fact that after six years from their last child, they couldn’t conceive another. This baby, your baby, was going to be a gift to them. They were happy to take any necessary steps into getting you to childbirth.

“I just can’t eat anymore,” you tried to justify your emotions, but now it only looked like an overreaction. People are dying without food, and here you are, crying about there being too much.

“It’s alright. Leftovers don’t go to waste in this house,” she spoke, a bit of a chuckle in her tone, which alleviated some of the pressure you felt.

“Okay,” you nodded, letting her take your plate to the other room, likely where her husband had retired to.

The campfire was crackling, the smoke filling the hazy navy color of the dark sky. Trees had covered it mostly, but there were a few stars peaking here and there. You’d just finished a can of chicken soup, tossing it on the pile that had been started by the others. It was crazy, how you suddenly remembered so much, just by eating food out of a can again. Days on the run, with the fireflies, being a raider even… it all came back.

It had only been a few hours or so since leaving Jackson, but after the fiasco of today, the three of you had gotten extremely tired a lot earlier than you should have.

The three of you meaning: Yourself, Joel and Ellie.

After the silence of the horse ride back to the commune, something had changed. Joel realized not only what Ellie meant to him, but what he means to Ellie. He’d decided Tommy was no longer required, and that he could fare the journey on his own. Of course, you immediately volunteered an extra pair of hands and a quick gun as assistance. To your surprise, it was Ellie who was your greatest advocate. Her, and the fact that you remembered the lab’s location, could probably get her there on your own if you had to.

The mirror building… you don’t remember it being a lab, but as soon as Tommy said the words it jogged your memory.

Now you were here, sitting with your back against a log, and staring holes into the shoulder of a fourteen year old girl.

“Whatch’u lookin’ at?” Joel asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he lazily reclined against a tree.

You only looked away for a second, too fixated on what was just barely peeking over the collar of Ellie’s shirt and jacket. It had fallen down a bit when she laid down to sleep.

“Nothin’,” you shrugged it off. He was a man of few words, surely he’d drop it on account of having to speak more if he didn’t… but God help him, he’s like a damn cat, his curiosity could kill him.

“You’re very focused on nothin’,” he teased. There was something off about you with Ellie, he’d taken notice of it. He didn’t know what it was about but it didn’t seem like a danger.

You rolled your eyes over to him, but could tell by his glance back that he wouldn’t quit. He’d already volunteered to take the first watch, and he had nothing else better to do.

“It’s a long story, you’d get bored.”

But again, he had nothing better to do.

“Try me,” he raised his shoulders in a shrug of his own. He seemed much more docile of a creature in this setting. The early hours of night, so quiet, and dimly lit. His voice was gentle and his features were soft. He was relaxed.

You took a deep inhale, trying to brace yourself for whatever came of this. He was a fresh face, someone new to explain an old wound to. The scar had finally healed and you were about to dig a blade back through and rip it open… but you suppose you’d sharpened the knife by coming along in the first place.

“I think Ellie’s my daughter,” you breathed out, not checking for a reaction until he’d been silent too long. His eyes were narrow, and he tilted his head, looking between you two. She was fast asleep by now, but he had a picture of her in his head, comparing it to you.

“You’re shittin’ me, right?”

You blew out another long breath, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know this feeling you have or the fact that you’ve never felt it before. He doesn’t understand that you’d come to peace with the fact that you’d never see her again, and then she appeared like a ghost from your past. You thought she was your past self at first, taunting you, making fun of who you were now.

“I ain’t shittin’ you.”

You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business.

“And what makes you think that?”

You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him.

You let your eyes flick up to the stars, hoping by some miracle they will fall from the heavens in the form of angels to give you a message, that message being: shut the fuck up and don’t spill your guts to a man you met this morning.

“When I was thirteen, I was by myself. I fell into a weird group of people that could probably be considered a cult. There was this one guy that treated me better than the others…” you trailed off, not sure if you’re ready to rehash all of this. But it’s been a long time since you talked about it. You need to get it off your chest if you’re to somehow make a relationship with the product of your past. “He was in his twenties, so a lot younger than most people in the group. Pretty sure I was the youngest. I didn’t realize he was using me.”

Joel was tense, but not because he was uncomfortable… he was genuinely invested. Wanted to know this story and how it connected with Ellie. His Ellie.

“We left the group, and I found out I was pregnant a few months later. I’d barely had my cycle a fucking year… wasn’t even sure what it meant when I didn’t get it. Anyways,” you had to stifle a laugh, because just looking back… what the actual hell? You kept blinking to make sure no tears escaped in front of this man. You weren’t there yet with him. “I think he just lost all interest in me after that. He didn’t really speak to me unless it was necessary, and wouldn't look at me. Stuff like that.”

But that wasn’t the worst part, and Joel knew you were working your way up to it.

“Before I was pregnant I used to sneak into places most people couldn’t. I was real skinny like that. Was able to smuggle stuff in and out of different QZs across the country. We peddled rare narcotics for the most part… but I had to stop when I, you know…” you made a round hand motion around your stomach, hoping he got the jist. “I didn’t fit in the smaller spaces.”

“What kind of narcotics?” Joel finally asked a question, and it wasn’t really the one you were hoping for… but you understood he’d probably fallen into the same scheme over the years.

“Vicodin, mostly. Up in Princeton there was this one apartment… we’d searched it top to bottom because of how many secret hiding places there were. Vicodin everywhere. Whoever lived there was either severely addicted or preparing for the worst.”

“Maybe both.”

Yeah, probably. Damn shame he never got to use them.

“We used it as a trading token most of the time. It was actually what got us into Boston,” you waved off your tangent eventually, getting back to the story and where Ellie came in. “Pretty much gave the rest of our stash to a contact we had there… she got us a family we could hand the baby off to.”

And now he got it. You’d been knocked up by a predator, and said predator wanted you to give up the baby so he could go about using you some more. He’d seen and done some cruel things in a post apocalyptic world, but he would never stoop that low, and grimaced at anyone who possibly could.

“I had her when I was fourteen. Lookin’ at her today was like looking in a mirror,” you rambled on, still not quite to your point. “She’s the right age, from the right location… and that birthmark on her shoulder…”

He hadn’t even noticed it all this time. Months with the kid, and he thought nothing of it. But to you, it was clarification. It was the confirming piece of evidence that pulled it all together. You’d barely taken your eyes off of it since you saw it. You wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Wanted to make sure it was the right shape and placement, just so you could be sure.

He nodded, seemingly coming to this conclusion now, too. It didn’t take him any more convincing. It was clear by now that your hunch was not just a hunch.

“Her dad, he still… around?”

You shook your head with a light hearted laugh.

“No,” and you could have left it with that simple answer… but that was never much your style. “I shot him in the head.”

His low whistle cut the air, and you almost felt proud. You’d killed the one thing in life that ever hurt you directly.

“He deserved worse.”

“Yeah, he did.”

And then it was quiet for a minute, all the words the two of you had spoken up until now were rotating over and around in your heads to make sense of them, until he spoke up again.

“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered.

“S’okay. Not your fault…” you shook it off. It’s in the past, it’s done.

“Not yours either,” he replied, raising a brow to you. “M’just, sorry you went through that.”

He was soft, he was gentle. You supposed he was like Tommy. He didn’t judge you or make you feel inferior because of your tragic mishappenings. He just listened, and felt sympathy.

“I don’t mind it so much now… I got her back.”

And both your gazes shifted to the sleeping teenager, her breaths steady with the humming of the night around you. She has no clue, and for now you’ll have to keep it that way.

Yeah, you think… I got her back.

It only took two weeks. Riding, eating, sleeping, and talking, rinse and repeat. There was the odd occasion of dealing with infected, but they were never in large groups, and cleared out easily.

You remembered exactly where to go when you entered the city limits, guiding them towards the college campus you once lived in as a firefly. It was almost ten years ago, but you remember it pretty well. It’s where you met Tommy. Not in the lab, obviously. You’d both been put on security detail one morning, having never met beforehand. He proceeded to ‘teach you’ how to shoot a rifle properly, only to find you could hit a perfect bullseye on your first shot. Probably because your dad was a man who loved his guns, and you’d been shooting one since you were a kid before the outbreak. He laughed about it, and you two were friends ever since.

“Are you getting any of this?” Ellie asked you, pulling you from your thoughts as you rode alongside them.

For the last hour, Joel was attempting - and failing - to explain the rules of football to the young Miss Ellie. And she didn’t understand one lick of it, not that you blame her. You’d been to actual football games in your youth, but you couldn’t get it even then.

“Nope, I was always more of a baseball fan…” you trailed, and smiled at the thought. Baseball was fun, you remember it well. It was your biggest obsession right before ballet, and right after fingerpainting.

“Oh really, now?” Joel cut in, his surprise evident in his raised eyebrow and tilted gaze in your direction.

“Yep. You’re looking at the MVP of the Acorn’s jr. little league team.”

Ellie laughed. She didn’t know a thing about baseball either. She’d seen some old collectors cards though here and there. Apparently they used to be valuable. They were only knick knacks to anyone who saw them now.

“What position did you play?”

“Shortstop… or second base, technically. No shortstop in jr. little league,” you admitted. Your dad always called you shortstop, so that’s what you tell people now. Anyone who asks, at least. You can count on one hand the number of people who have.

“Seein’ you around infected… I bet you swung like hell,” he chuckled. Ellie was still confused about the rules of the last sport, much less how to play this one… but she listened intently because Joel was interested, so she was interested too.

“I always got on base, didn’t always stay there, but always got on. Plus, I was the only kid who never picked their nose at the plate, so… Obviously I earned my title.”

“That must’ve been an amazing accomplishment. How old were you?”

From what he understood, you’d been eight on outbreak day. You couldn’t have been too much younger to have started a sport, right?

“Probably six or seven at the time. I did ballet after, had kind of a short attention span when it came to after school activities,” you explained, a smile on your cheeks when you spoke about the things you used to love doing. You probably would still like doing some of them, had they been an option in Jackson.

“I know about ballet!” Ellie jumped in, nearly scaring Joel off the horse. “That’s the dancers that used to wear those weird shoes and shit.”

“Pointe shoes?” You chuckled, more at Joel trying to compose himself than Ellie’s funny recollection of footwear.

“Yeah, those. They looked like torture devices in some of the paintings I saw… did you ever wear any?”

“No, I would have had to train for about five more years to have gotten to that point. That was the dream at the time, to be a pointe ballerina. Of course, the end of the world happened…”

Joel turned to you from his forwards facing stare, a sadness in his eyes before he looked back onto the road ahead of him. Was that… pity? You were slowly learning to read him, his little mannerisms and tells that made him like everyone else, yet just a tad different, in a way that only he could be.

“Maybe after all this is over you can teach me some steps,” she suggested, but you scoffed.

“Maybe,” you shook your head at how funny the thought sounded in your head. You’d only danced for what? Ten months at most? And as an eight year old? “I think you’ll probably be too busy with Joel’s guitar lessons.”

She laughed it off, shaking her head and leaning it back onto Joel’s shoulder in front of her. The three of you kept along until reaching the building you remembered, but instantly it was a disappointment. The fireflies weren’t here, and likely hadn’t been for over a year.

“This isn’t right. There should be a checkpoint set up and a security blockade surrounding the place,” you mentioned, getting off your horse and running up to the door in the front. You peeked inside, and there was no sign of life anywhere.

“You’re kidding,” Ellie grumbled.

Joel dismounted the horse and followed after you, looking around and trying to find any signs that they might have been here at all.

“You sure this is the right place?”

“Positive. I remember this building, I met Tommy right over there,” you pointed down the sidewalk, where a half torn down barricade of cement was still sitting, but just barely. You walked to the corner of the crumbling stairs and grabbed a piece of old broken up brick, chucking it through the front door in order to unlock it.

Joel chuckled for a moment at your frustration, watching the scene play out.

“Baseball… right,” he teased, leading the way inside with you and Ellie in tow.

Maxine’s boys were at Fedra school. Her husband was at work in a different sector. Maxine herself was trading ration cards for supplies. It was the first time she’d left the apartment since you’d been there, and of all days, of all mornings for it to happen… your water broke.

You were alone, and scared. You weren’t allowed to leave the apartment for fear of the neighbor’s suspicion. Maxine’s family would be torn apart by Fedra if anyone found out what was going on, so no matter how terrified you were, you couldn’t risk going outside for help.

“Not now,” you cried, the tension in the pit of your stomach slowly turning to pain when your first contraction started. “Please, kid, I’m begging.”

You suck down against the wall of the living room, trying to find a sitting position that doesn't kill you from the pain. You wished more than anything you had some of those pain pills left over from the exchange, but they would probably only hurt you right now.

“Please, don’t,” you tried to even your breathing, the tears crawling down your cheeks at a fastening rate. “I can’t do this…”

The walls were closing in, you weren’t prepared for this. It didn’t seem to be the right time, either… but it was happening, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. The baby was coming, and if you wanted to live to see another day, you were going to have to get your head straight, and push it out of you.

You didn’t know how long you’d have, but from the time your water broke to the last contraction, things were moving relatively quickly. You were still on the ground against the wall, biting down on the sleeve of your shirt to try and not make noise.

You hoped and prayed that you would not deliver this baby on your own, but it looked like that was your only option right now. They had all left around an hour ago, they would be gone all day.

“I don’t know what to do, kid… help me out here,” you cried out again, but the baby didn’t exactly listen. You felt more weight bearing down on your lower half by the minute, and all you could do was panic.

It had happened so fast, the attack. Too fast, nothing you guys could have prepared for. It was all within minutes, and the ringing in your ears following your last gunshot seemed to put everything in slow motion. The way Ellie was yelling but you couldn’t hear it, the man that was coming up from behind you, and the one that was wrestling with Joel near the edge of the rail.

Too fast, the man on your rear grabbed at you and pulled backwards, keeping you from being able to stop Joel’s attacker… You got trapped in a headlock, a gun to your temple, and another man was about to get Ellie. Joel and his attacker broke through the railing, tumbling over the edge and falling into God knows what. You sunk deadweight in the man’s arms, letting Ellie shoot him with her raised gun before you shot the man coming for her.

She ran to the edge first, freezing as she looked down. You followed and peered over, unsure what you would see.

“Shit,” you lowered yourself to a sitting position before scooting off the edge and dropping down to where he was. Your voice was in a panic “Joel?”

He was alive, but fatally injured if you didn’t get him out of here right now.

“I’m gonna need you to pull,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. His face was scrunched in pain, and you knew better than anyone how hard it was to stay quiet when you’re hurting that bad.

“You could bleed out,” you shook your head, kneeling down and flinging off your backpack. Digging through, you only have the most basic of supplies… nothing substantial enough to stop mass amounts of blood, or, worst case scenario, a deadly infection.

“Just pull, damnit,” he grunted, offering his hand.

By now Ellie had come down, watching in fear as the only figure of importance in her life was nearly on his deathbed. It couldn’t be exaggerated because it really was that bad. He could drop down at any moment and never get back up, but he kept pushing on.

You did as he asked, hoisting him to a stand, letting him lean on you for support. Ellie went on ahead, leading the way as she cleared the place with her own gun. You had to assist here and there, unwilling to let Ellie get shot on account of holding Joel up on his feet.

It was practically a miracle that any of you made it outside. Your horse had already taken care of a raider, it seemed, the man lying unconscious on the ground behind him. He likely got to close, touched him, even. Ellie shot the last obstacle standing between you and an escape, and once he was cleared, you mounted your horses, helping Joel onto his, first.

You rode in front of them, looking for a place to take shelter. Looking for an empty house, or gas station even. Anything would work, as long as it was safer than here. You rode for miles down the road, unsure if there were people in the area. You’d finally reached a neighborhood of substantial size, with no signs of life or proof of human activity.

But before you could even find a safe shelter…

“Joel? Joel!”

And you quickly turned around. Joel fell off the horse, out like a light.

Tags: @orcasoul

#joel miller #reader insert #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us #joel

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alasblogpoetry · 1 year

Text

two

i do not remember dying, but i know that i am dead, words have changed in their color, joy has got a diff'rent smell, anger melted into something that i do not understand, hell is frozen, love is liquid, death is dying, life is dead, earth is spinning wrong direction, i and i are not the same, i like thinking i am perfect, but i know that i am not, maybe that is why i'm death'd, maybe why i'll die again, i can't fathom how i'll perish, but i hope i get the chance.

#the mind of a poet is one that is all over the place all the time #it is like a thousand ping pong balls bouncing around the room #sometimes i manage to catch one of the ping pong balls and put it into words #this particular one has been significantly harder to catch than most others #several months ago i noticed that something has changed #and i couldn't figure out how to feel about it #on one hand i knew that everyone changes in one way or another #on the other hand i did not like the direction i changed in #on the third hand i realize that i changed in several directions and that the mean average change was most likely neither good nor bad #simply different #on the fourth hand the logical mind could not overcome the emotional mind #the mind of a poet is one that is both logical and emotional #and a poem is a conflict between the two minds hoping to be resolved #i believe writing this piece has put a very big conflict within me to rest #yes i miss the old me #i think he was a better person and i would want to be friends with him more than he would want to be friends with me #but i also realize that however hard i try i will not be him again #and that's okay - change is not about going back #it is about going forward #it is time i work on becoming a person better than both the old me and the current me #the mind of a poet is a fluid one #it uses poetry as a way to grow #i caught the ping pong ball #it is time i catch another one #thanks for reading <3 #alasblog #poetry #alasblogpoetry #by emerald

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months

Text

‘Damian.’ You called over your shoulder, eyes firmly locked on the thing that currently held your undivided attention.

‘Yeah?’ You heard him call back from another room.

‘Why the fuck is there a cow in your kitchen?’ Damian’s brow was immediately raised upon hearing this. Cow? There’s no way Bat-Cow could’ve- Damian then closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths before joining you in the kitchen, where he could clearly see that the white and brown Bovine cow was indeed in the kitchen, just like you had said.

Now the question of how the cow had gotten into the manor -undetected no less- was a mystery entirely because surly someone would’ve noticed a 610kg, white and brown cow mindlessly clopping down the corridor from rooms away. But none of that mattered anymore as it was irrelevant to the current situation you and Damian both found yourselves in.

‘This day was bound to happen sooner or later, y/n this is Bat-Cow, the family…well cow.’ Damian said as though it were nothing new but for you, everything was made even more confusing. ‘And why do you have a pet cow? is Wayne Enterprises expanding into the farming business is it?’ You asked and Damian felt a headache about to come on.

‘Tt. No, me and father saved Bat-Cow from going to a slaughterhouse and have kept them ever since.’ He explained as he then moved past you to gently pet the cow on the muzzle, smiling softly when Bat-Cow made a noise of content. ‘Besides, this is nothing in comparison to Goliath.’

You made a face at this. ‘I’m sorry but Goliath who?’ You asked and Damian only continued to amuse himself as he petted Bat-Cow. ‘Exactly.’ He couldn’t wait to see your reaction firsthand.

Bruce tends to overwork himself to death most of the time, much to yours and Alfred’s disappointment.

You understood why he does what he does but did he necessarily have to neglect his own health and well-being to do so?

Gotham was a piece of work that is always under continuous construction, never in the hopes of being made better, but instead to be pushed to the side and left to slowly corrode and rot. Gotham was an ever developing plot hole that was bound to become even more than an issue then first assumed.

Gotham wasn’t a place worth saving for it always found a way to relapse back into old harmful habits, much so to the point where it’s own civilians didn’t care whether the city would survive another day, with all the chaos and destruction that seemed to be happening on the daily.

In Gotham it was easy as piss for one to lose all sense of empathy, humility and humanity.

Expect for one man. Bruce Wayne aka Batman. A shining beacon of hope for the future of Gotham in your eyes, a person who looked at the piss, shit and grime that flooded the streets and thought; I could help make this a better place, not by much, but just enough so that the civilians could rest easy knowing they’re looked out for. No matter if I get beaten down again and again, I’ll always get back up because if I don’t, then who will if not me? And you loved him for that and loved even more when he first brought Dick home, followed shortly by Jason, Tim and Damian with the inclusions of Stephenie, Cassandra and Duke respectively.

So nowadays whenever you wanted Bruce to rest, you’d call upon the help of the kids -now grown ass adults with lives of their own- and Alfred to help you drag Bruce away from the screens of the bat-computer.

‘You could’ve just asked nicely.’ Bruce said as he walked with the likes of you, Tim, Dick, Jason and Barbra out of the bat cave after successfully getting Bruce to join you and the remainder of the family- whom were waiting for you all in the dinner room- for dinner that Alfred made.

‘We did, multiple times.’ Jason replied.

‘Well if you consider pulling back his chair from under him asking then yes, yes we did.’ Tim then said as Dick butted himself in the conversation. ‘I mean, it did work in our favour in getting the old man out of the bat cave.’ Murmurs of agreement followed as you leaned against Bruce, staring at your gaggle of kids with nostalgia, chuckling.

‘What’re you laughing to yourself about?’ Bruce asks and you shrug.

‘Nothing, it’s just nice to see that your soft spot for them hasn’t changed after all this time.’ You replied, holding onto his arm as he pressed a small kiss to your head and hums in agreement.

‘They happen to take after you, and you’re hard to say no to in any capacity.’ Bruce answers and you couldn’t help but squint your eyes at him. ‘Liar.’ You tell him with a grin. ‘You just don’t want to admit that I’m right.’

Bruce chuckles and kisses your cheek. ‘Okay, maybe you’re right about one thing.’ He concedes and allows you to drag him down the hallway, happy to be able to see his family all in one place.

Jason who might as well make his apartment a makeshift animal shelter because of how many strays he brings in from off of the street and dangerous living situations.

The pattern in this being that the strays he brings in were dogs that were heavily stereotyped as dangerous and aggressive, hurt, or missing a limb in some capacity. So there would be days where you’d come home to find Jason bathing an XL bully and a Pit bull, whom had some scarring left from when they were used as an illegal fighting dog, and you wouldn’t even bat an eye as you discarded your coat and went to help Jason in drying them off.

‘Where’d you find this one then Jason?’ You asked as you ran a hand through the Pit bulls short fur as it fell asleep on his lap while the XL bully fell asleep in yours.

‘In an alleyway where I was just about finishing up my patrol, tucked away in a darkened corner in a rotting cardboard box where I could heard them whimpering as clear as day.’ He responded. You could hear the anger in his voice towards the mistreatment of the poor dogs and reached over to hold his hand, stroking the back of it with your thumb.

‘You saved them Jason. You’ve given them much more than what their previous owner did tenfold.’ You reassured him, letting him know that the good he’s done will stick with the dogs for a long, long time. ‘Are you planning to give them to Damian to look after before finding them a good home?’ You then asked, having dawn to terms a long time ago that you nor Jason would have the time to properly take care of them yourselves, no matter how much you wanted to but you knew in this instance you couldn’t be selfish.

‘I would but Damian already has his hands full with the Doberman and Staffy we found last time,’ Jason sifted in his seat to look at you, ‘apparently Titus, Alfred and Ace have grown attached to them and refuse to the idea of them leaving. So Bruce is in the process of legally having the dogs be put under his care.’

You visibly perk up as you cuddled the XL bully to your chest. ‘Does that mean?’ Jason couldn’t help but laugh at your inherent cuteness as he pecked your lips. ‘Yes, we get to shelter them a little while longer chipmunk.’ He murmurs against your lips and you couldn’t help but steal a kiss from his lips out of happiness.

‘Have I told you how much I love you lately?’ You asked.

Jason hums. ‘You have but once more couldn’t hurt now would it?’ He teases.

Not even a week later and you and Jason decided to keep Riley the XL bully and Roy the Pit bull and you both love them dearly.

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causenessus · 3 months

Text

Love Languages. | Bungou Stray Dogs

inc: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, tecchou, jouno

written in 2nd pov (female reader implied)

song recc: do you love by trish toledo & baby bash

word count: 2324 words

pretty sure everything is written in lowercase except for names if they didn't look ugly capitalized bc aesthetics !!! had tons of fun writing this I apologize, this is barely proofread and for literally every character I got too caught up in specific examples and scenarios and just kept building off of it but I think they're kind of sweet so I hope u enjoy <3

dazai osamu - acts of service

“she peels an orange for us in the morning / she woke me up to give me half” golden girl - frank ocean

he’s terrible at taking care of himself, so someone who takes the time to care for him just makes every wall crumble

he’s probably horrible at remembering to eat as well, so if you make something for him he’ll treasure it forever

bonus points if your job requires you to wake up earlier than him (which isn’t hard, he def comes in a little later than his coworkers) and you leave something for him to eat when he wakes up or to take with him to work (or both <3)

he’ll start to look forward to waking up in the mornings in hope that you’ve made him something

never asks you if you’ll make something in specific or if you’ll even make him something at all. he adores anything you make and doesn’t want to make you feel obliged to do something if you happen to be tired and don’t want to cook tomorrow

voices all his appreciation for you when you both have laid down to go to sleep

“bella, I can’t tell you how much it means to me, all that you do. you really don’t have to make me anything if it’s a hassle in the morning or when you get home. you already work so hard.”

you turned onto your other side to face him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear as you smiled, “I do it because I want to, ‘Samu. and because I love you. if I can’t spend the day with you because we’re both at work, at least I can take care of you.”

his chest buzzed with so much happiness his eyes stung for a moment. he held himself back from saying that he didn’t deserve you. saying something like that wouldn’t solve anything. instead, he’d make himself worthy of you by helping out as well

he probably can’t cook very well but he finds other ways to help, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, and cleaning the place so that there’s less on your plate

ask him to do anything and he’ll get it done for you as soon as possible <3

I think that for him, receiving such sweet love without any words is foreign to him but is just what he needs. he’d rather show how much he loves you than say it (although he loves to tell you it as well). getting out of bed could be so difficult for him some days, yet having a goal for himself has motivated him to become a better person. he wakes up, excited for what you may have made him and ready to do whatever he can for you

nakahara chuuya - gift giving

“they asked, ‘do you love her to death?’ I said, ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’” - mahmoud darwish

it’s easier for him to express how much you mean to him by giving you everything you want and everything he thinks you would like

he still tells you that he loves you every chance he gets, but oftentimes it is accompanied by a gift, no matter how small it may be, from just a single rose to a whole garden

for him, it gives a new purpose in his work; he’s working in order to get you whatever your pretty heart desires

he’s proud to use his hard-earned money to buy you things (rather than spending it all on wine <3 ily chuuya)

the easiest thing he can always get you is a favorite snack or drink and he’s got a whole system for it

he knows every store it’s available at and many of the clerks are familiar with him from the sheer amount of times he’s visited them to buy something for you. it never grows old for him, his favorite thing to do is buy you something on his way home from work or during the day when he’s planning to surprise you with a visit

he keeps a mental list of what your favorite things are. you’ll tell him about something you like without thinking anything of it but he’s already planned out when and how to give the item to you. it’s always on his mind what he’ll buy you each day, and it’s always worth it seeing you enjoy whatever he’s bought you

sometimes it’s as simple as a coffee and he’ll drop by your work to give it to you in person

“hanging in there, Angel? need a little pick-me-up?” he has the biggest smile on his face every time he sees you, and bringing a gift for you with him only adds to his excitement

“you spoil me, Chuuya,” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning further into him as he holds you in his arms.

“what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he responds, rubbing your back as you sigh.

receiving gifts from you is just as sweet. no one has ever given him as many gifts as he’s given others–which is fine with him–it’s not about what he’ll get in return and he knows that not everyone expresses their love the way he does

but he’s touched whenever you get him something. since giving gifts is so meaningful to him, it means even more that someone would go through the trouble to give something back to him

he’ll keep whatever you get him close to him at all times and smile every time he sees it or remembers it

once, you bought him a new chain for his hat and he hasn’t changed it since. it only made the hat more special to him now that it reflects two people that had changed his life

akutagawa ryunosuke - words of affirmation

“my love, you are worth it all.”

we all know how the boy responded to dazai’s praise or even simply just the words “dazai wants to talk to you”

to hear a person who has persisted through his stubborn, aggressive defense say they still love him causes him to start to soften for you

he’s been surrounded by harsh words and people who have exploited him and brushed him to the side whenever he wasn’t needed all his life, so it stirs his heart to hear someone notice things about him and who tells him that they want to stay with him

it’s something reserved for solitary moments just between the two of you for sure, but that makes the time all the more special because he can let down his guard and just be with you

his past has made it hard for him to believe he is worthy of anything other than the murderous skills he’s harnessed in order to get him to where he is in the Mafia, but you’ve shown him that there’s more to him than just how well he can use Rashomon

he never bothers to try and listen to what other people are saying but he always gives his full attention to anything you have to say

he doesn’t even like to hear compliments from anyone else, he doesn’t trust them at all but he trusts and believes anything you tell him, knowing you have the purest intentions of loving and supporting him

after a job, all he wants to do is go home. by the end of the day, he’s sick of everyone around him so on the rare occasion that you decide to visit him, he won’t even notice until you call out to him

he had just finished a job, it was successful, but it had gotten messy. Mori had already told him off and he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone else. he stormed past every piece of vermin that had decided to get in his way, their whispers just barely reaching his ears

“Ryu!” you called out from amongst them, waiting by a door.

“What?” he hadn’t meant to snap, especially when he realized it was you talking to him and his face immediately relaxed when he saw you.

“oh, [y/n].” he immediately started to make his way towards you, the pounding in his head slowly starting to disappear the closer

“I came to pick you up, I’m glad I had good timing,” you smiled, offering your hand.

he took it gently, giving it a soft squeeze, “I’m sorry I responded so rudely, I didn’t–”

“you’re okay, Ryu,” you placed your other hand on top of it, looking him straight in the eyes, keeping a loving smile on your face, “you don’t ever have to be sorry. you’re doing just fine. even better, actually. I’m so proud of all your work and I’m sure you’re tired after everything today. it looked busy.”

the words erased every memory of Mori’s scolding that his head had latched on to in order to beat himself down later on. he felt his cheeks warm a little as he looked away, “you’re too kind to me, [y/n].”

tries his best to also put into words his appreciation but it’s so hard for him to verbally say it; sometimes it comes out wrong

instead, he’s opted for notes most of the time, leaving them on your bedside or in your bag, telling you how thankful he is for you and that he loves you

suehiro tecchou - quality time

“on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” - mahmoud darwish

my boy is always so busy

as soon as he’s off work he just wants to be wherever you’re at

he’d doesn’t mind silence and doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with you

sometimes gets off work and if you’re not home yet just sneaks into your workplace to be around you

adores following you around and doesn’t always know exactly what you’re doing but he’s just happy to tag along

grocery store dates are some of his favorite moments with you

he loves everything about convenience stores

he loves food and the endless aisles of colorful packages and choices

(it gives him ideas for new food combinations <3)

once bought a himalayan salt shaker simply because

“look [y/n]! they make pink salt :0”

later put said pink salt on top of strawberry ice cream bc they were both pink

he also loves getting to look around the store all the while following you. he admires your organized grocery lists and how you’ve already planned out what you’re going to buy

once you tried to send him out to grab something in an area you’d already passed so that you could continue going down the list

“can you go grab some carrots for me, love? sorry, I forgot to pick them up when we were in the produce section.”

“of course 🙂” his heart is shattering inside of him at the thought of being separated from you.

“do you want to stay with me and we’ll go back later?” you ask, looking up at him with a knowing smile.

“yes pls”

groceries stores are not the only place you guys go tho i promise

if you’re still in school, he’ll accompany you on study dates

never bothers you under any circumstances and if he is and you tell him he’ll stop right away

he could spend all day looking at your pretty face even if you never once looked at him <3

jouno saigiku - physical touch

“you kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry / the sun has come this close, only the sun” “GPS” - Shauan Barbosa

although he can’t see you, he knows your body by heart <3

he’s spent so much time tracing it over and over with his hands

i think his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work is flop onto you and just listen to your heartbeat. probably also intertwines one of his hands with yours, often runs other across your skin

loves when you touch him just as much

if he’s lying on top of you and you decide to run a hand through his hair, all of his problems have just melted away

you both have definitely fallen asleep like that countless times no matter what time of day it is

he’s always finding ways to be in close contact with you, making sure that you’re safe and near him

again, he loves loves loves to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it any chance he gets

will also settle for an arm around your shoulder though as long as you’re close to him

definitely the type to also rest his head on top of yours or on your shoulder every chance he gets

if he needs to fidget he won’t even play with his own fingers he’ll just play with yours

i think that with the loss of one sense, the other senses hold so much meaning for him

it’s easier and more meaningful for him to show his love and how much he trusts you through touch rather than just saying it out loud

comes up from behind you to hug you a lot, especially in the kitchen or when you’ve just come home he’s there immediately, hugging you to recharge

“how was your day, my love?”

you always relax in his arms, turning your head slightly to kiss his face which he’s let rest on your shoulder, “it was missing you.”

he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, “i’ll make it all up to you now, darling.”

there was one time that he let you do his hair

he’s never told you how much he enjoyed it; he didn’t even know what you had done to it, but being near your warmth is all he needs and can ask for <3

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryunosuke x reader #tecchou x reader #tecchou suehiro x reader #jouno x reader #jouno saigiki x reader #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons

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nicoliharu · 3 months

Note

Coli!! Hi hi good morning!! Do you have any Headcanons for Ruggie?? Like, when you draw him do you have anything you always include or leave out? Just curious hehe I love your art!! Have a nice day <3 <3 <3

Hi Dede! Thanks for the ask🥺😭💗

I will comment on what I would like to do differently when I draw him cause for me you write him PERFECT and I wouldn't change anything! This guy is precious and needs love to know he isn't inferior to anyone! 😭💗

⚠️ My headcanons (design) Ruggie Bucchi:

So, aren't that many changes, it's just simple, the way I usually imagine him 🥺👉👈

🍩 Skin: Ruggie has more melanin, I personally love Ruggie with any skin tone but forgive me Yana but it's hard to resist painting his skin like that.

I mean, I think it goes much better with his color palette. Personally, I would paint with this palette for him in my fanart and content forever. I want to eternally thank whoever had the idea of giving more melanin to his plush 🥺💗 I don't know if it's my laptop screen that's old, but it looks a little desaturated, but I'll adjust over time.

🍩 Blonde lashes: I still need to practice more cause I love the idea that Ruggie would have some blonde lashes, not gold and flashy but brown light 🥺

🍩 Freckles: Excessive on the nose/cheeks, ends of the arms, and a lot on the back…IT'S CANON IN MY HEAD, YANA YOU FAILED ME, HOW YOU DARE?? HOW CAN YOU NOT GIVE HIM FRECKLES?😭

🍩 Body hair: Well, he's a guy who's growing, he's about to turn 18, there's no chance no have body hair. Besides, I believe that beastmen have more body hair than humans, so for Ruggie I imagine golden hair but if it gets wet it turns a little brown, on the arms and legs 😔👉👈

🍩 Eye pupil: I know that's normal but I like to think that his pupil becomes ''thin'' (how in English is this?) when he feels threatened or annoyed by something and dilates when he sees something that interests/likes him.

🍩 Teeth: Bigger and thicker than Leona and Jack. Please, spotted hyenas have a bone-breaking bite and tear thick skins too. Ruggie canonically said he can easily eat steak with bones…Oh gosh if he likes bite who he lov- STOP NICOLI SHHHH

🍩 Hair: A little rough and messy with some split ends, I don't think he cares much about any special shampoo or conditioner, taking care of his hair. Besides, I think he occasionally cuts it with scissors on his own. I know I could leave it wavy or curly but thinking that rough bristles remind me of hyenas' fur makes me so 🥺

🍩 Body: We know that Ruggie's thin cause his condition but I believe that his legs and arms are ''strong'' of cause the acrobatic way in which he moves, both day to day, running and practicing at the Club. I don't mean bulging muscles but you realize that given his activities and abilities it makes sense!!! 😔

🍩 About the piercing: it was a detail I wanted to add but I don't know if I always imagine him with that or not 🤡👌

Forgive my grammar and English mistakes! These are my humble headcanons for Ruggie's design, if anyone thinks differently this is just fun for everyone, y'all have the right to imagine how they want. And I would like to say one more thing, about other details that I can only talk about better with more drawings, such as excess hair with spots above his tail (I love this detail too). So there will always be changes for everything!

Thank you again for your ask Dede, you're a wonderful writer that I admire so much and love your works! 🥺😭💗💗💗

#my headcanons for Ruggie bucchi #personal #twst ruggie #ruggie bucchi #twst savanaclaw #twst fanart #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #savanaclaw #my art

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artificial-transmutations · 3 months

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Your stories and images are beyond incredible. My favorite blog on tumblr BY FAR. Truly incredible work. I guess it’s kind of selfish, so absolutely so absolutely no worries, at the very least I got to tell you how much I appreciate and love your content. But I��m a short, nerdy, thin, art student in college right now. I’m tired of being in the closet, I’m tired of being a push over, Im tired of being weak and submissive, I’m tired of being a virgin, and I wanna change. Maybe you could help with a story by turning me into one of those jaw dropping beautiful confident men that you make the pictures of, I would very much appreciate it. But no worries if you can’t, I just love your content!

Confidence

Nathaniel sighed quietly, as he came over his hairless stomach. Of course, he had to be quiet! The dorm walls were paper-thin, and he certainly didn't want the guys from the neighboring dorm rooms to hear him. He looked at the website once more, with the story and the hot buff men before he closed the incognito browser tab and proceeded to clean himself up.

When he looked into the bathroom mirror, he sighed again, but this time, it was a sigh of sadness. There really wasn't anything remotely impressive about him. He was thin and weak, and pathetic really. If it wasn't for his lack of boobs and his sorry excuse for a dick, he could very well pass as a woman. In fact, he had been mistakenly called "Madame" more than once, and one time, he had even been asked "how his transition was going".

No, Nathan was a cis man, just not a very impressive one. He was gay, of course, and loved to look at 'real' men while jerking his small cock. Most of the time, he fantasized about some hairy brute rough-handling him, pushing his face against the bed and fucking his tiny ass into submission. However, even though the thought was exciting to Nathan, he even more wished to *be* such a man. The rational part of Nathan knew that both fantasies would not happen anytime, though. It was physically impossible to just *become* a 'real man', and it was impossible for Nathan to even admit to anyone that he was gay. So, he would probably just stay a closeted virgin forever - doomed to masturbate to some kinky stories he was so embarrassed about that he only dared to look at them from an incognito browser tab.

He sighed a third time when he crawled into bed. Perhaps someday he would accept his fate.

Nathan was already almost asleep when he heard the firework starting outside. Right. It was New Year’s Eve. What a way to start the new year.

The next morning, Nathan was feeling a bit better. Of course, his deep-rooted unhappiness still lingered within him, but Nathan decided to try and enjoy the day. He liked new year’s days. Everyone usually was at home after having celebrated the whole night which meant that the world outside was very quiet. Not much happened on New Year’s Day.

Nathan decided to go to a nearby cafe. There, with a steaming mug of hot chocolate next to him, he got out his drawing utensils and looked around the place. There weren't too many people. An older couple sat together, the man reading a book, and the woman reading a magazine, while an elderly lady sat at the counter. She was probably the owner. However, there was one more guy, a young adult like Nathan, who sat on a nearby table all by himself and was playing on his phone. He had his chair tilted back a bit, stabilizing himself against the wall and rocking a bit. He had earphones in his ear, so he was probably listening to music while doing so.

Nathan's first instinct was to draw the old couple, but then he looked at the other young man again. He looked a bit like one of those men from the internet, the kind that Nathan would fantasize about. Just a bit. The other man wasn't burly and muscular and assertive, but instead he had a lean, fit build. Nathan was a bad judge of character, especially without having spoken to the person in question, but the young man didn't look particularly assertive or dominant either. So, all in all, not too much like the men Nathan longed for on the internet. But still, he had a certain charm to him. Nathan liked the fit, lean body and the aura of positivity the man seemed to exude and wanted to capture that on paper.

Nathan began sketching the man, while occasionally looking up, making sure the man wouldn't notice. However, it was hard to keep his eyes off the guy. Every now and then, he would laugh a bit or make a funny face when watching something on his phone, which Nathan couldn't help but find very attractive.

He was just working on drawing the man's hands, when Nathan suddenly heard someone address him.

"Hey, what are you drawing?" The voice didn't sound rude or unfriendly, but plainly interested. Still, Nathan flinched visibly. The attractive man on the other table had removed one earplug and turned towards Nathan.

"Uh, sorry?" stuttered Nathan, not quite sure how to react. The guy pointed at Nathan's drawing pad and smiled: "You're an artist?"

Nathan could feel the blood rushing to his face. The drawing pad was tilted towards Nathan, so his unvoluntary model could not have seen what exactly Nathan was drawing. He could - no, he should - just lie and tell him he was sketching something in the room. But he just couldn't think of anything and the time for a good answer was running out. Almost involuntarily, Nathan stuttered, with his head red like a tomato: "Uhm, yeah, kind of. I was sketching you, actually."

The guy laughed a short and friendly laugh: "Really? Cool! Can I see it?"

Nathan could feel his heartbeat quicken, and his face got even redder. This was so embarrassing! But he couldn't very well refuse now, could he? So, he placed the pad flat on the table, just as the guy came over and sat himself down on Nathan's table.

"Oh wow!", he sounded impressed. "You're really talented! It's like looking into a mirror."

"Thanks" - Nathan hated getting compliments. Not only didn't he know how to react to them, but he also found them mostly fake. He was an art student, but he wasn't that good really, at least in his own opinion. In the dictionary, there was probably a picture of Nathan right next to the entry for "Imposter Syndrome".

"But why are you drawing me?" Although Nathan had feared that this question might come up, he didn't have a good lie to answer it. It was almost as if his mouth was acting on its own, when Nathan heard himself stammer: "Uh, eh, it's because I... I find you quite handsome actually. Good-looking I mean."

Nathan wished for nothing more than to be swallowed by the earth here and now. But to his big surprise, the guy just laughed again and said: "You think so? Thanks! The name's Oliver by the way." Oliver had, apparently, much less of a problem taking a compliment.

"Nathan." said Nathan and started to relax a tiny bit. However, the situation suddenly got even worse, when Oliver continued, in the same light-hearted voice. "Nice to meet you, Nathan! Are you into guys?"

Nathan froze solid. He hadn't expected that. And even worse, the answer was, of course, yes. But there was no way he could say that, was there? So, instead, he just stared at Oliver with his eyes wide open and a deer-in-headlights look.

"I mean, I'm gay - are you as well?" Oliver explained. "With the whole drawing dudes and all."

Nathan's brain had stopped working properly, so he couldn't help but nod and mumble a faint "yes".

Oliver's smile broadened and he said: "Really? Cool!"

Nathan's mind was racing. He had just admitted his homosexuality. To a complete stranger. Out of the blue. He didn't plan to come out that way, it just... happened.

A moment of awkward silence radiated from Nathan, but, thankfully, Oliver salvaged the situation pretty elegantly.

"Listen Nathan, I'll have to run now. But are you free tomorrow around 2? We could grab a coffee and you could show me some of your drawings if you like."

A spark of bravery, completely foreign to him, awakened in Nathan and he answered: "Y-yes. I think I would like that."

Oliver smiled another of his broad smiles. "Awesome! Let's meet here then tomorrow!"

With that, Oliver nodded at Nathan and left the cafe, putting in his headphone again while humming happily.

Did that really just happen? Nathan looked from the unfinished drawing towards the cafe door. Did he really just... got invited to a date? With a handsome guy named Oliver? Nathan wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. On the one hand, it was a miracle, a once in a lifetime opportunity. A cute and hot guy was actually interested in him! But on the other hand, there was no way he could make a good impression. How desperate had that Oliver guy to be to actually ask *him* out?

A small voice in his head insisted that he could just not show up tomorrow and avoid the whole disappointment. But the spark of bravery was still there, and Nathan fought down the feeling. No, he was going to show. If it turned out to be a disaster, he could still flee the scene - it wasn't like Oliver knew literally anything about him.

Nathan quickly packed his things and returned to his dorm room. Once he arrived, he noticed that he was completely covered in sweat of fear. His shirt showed wet spots under his arms and felt cold to the touch. Disgusted, Nathan immediately went for a shower. Only there, standing under the hot steamy water, Nathan could appreciate what happened. He got *asked out*. On a *date*. With a *guy*. Yesterday he had been certain he would die alone and lonely but then, today, he got *asked out*. Was this really a thing? Did it really happen?

He wasn't sure. He had a hard time believing it. Perhaps the whole thing was just a weird dream? A figment of his imagination. But no. The half-finished drawing was proof enough that Oliver really existed.

When Nathan exited the shower cabin, the whole bathroom was covered in steam, blinding the mirrors. Perhaps this - or the spinning of his thoughts - was the reason that he didn't notice that his hair had changed. Instead of his usual medium length brown-ish hair, he now sported a much shorter hairstyle - in a much darker color, almost black. Be it as it may - Nathan had other things on mind than checking his hair. He spent the whole afternoon and even the evening researching on how to make a good impression on a first date.

The next morning, Nathan slept in, which was pretty unusual for him. His whole frame felt weird, when he crawled out of bed. It wasn't too late, either - he had a comfortable 3 hours until the date. When he passed the bathroom mirror on his morning routine, however, he stopped for a moment. Something was... off about his face. His hair. It looked kind of... different?

Nathan stared at his reflection for a few seconds, straining his mind. Somehow, the shape of his jawbone seemed unfamiliar. And was his hair always that dark, almost black?

Finally, he shook his head. No, he was just seeing things. Of course, that was as it always had been. After having finished his bathroom business, Nathan went for a shower and prepared himself.

An hour later, he stood in front of the mirror, trying out a bunch of outfits and felt slight panic rising inside of him. None of his clothes fit very well, it was like he was cursed! It wasn't that his shirts and pants were much too big or much too small, but for some reason none of his clothes really felt comfortable. Both his favorite shirt and his usual jeans felt somewhat constricting today. Finally, Nathan just put on an outfit, and left his room.

When he entered the cafe, Oliver was already sitting there, two coffee mugs in front of him. He smiled, waved and gestured for Nathan to join him.

"Hello, Nathan!"

"H-hi." said Nathan, his nervousness returning.

"Here, I bought you a coffee!" Oliver pushed one of the mugs over the table.

"Thanks." Nathan was somewhat distracted by the ill-fitting clothes, and he could pretty much feel the nervous sweat practically pouring out of his pores.

"No problem!", said Oliver. "I was early, anyway. How are you doing today?"

"Fine." said Nathan and took a sip of his coffee, trying to hide his nervousness. He vividly remembered all the good advice he had read yesterday, but all that felt just impossible to him.

"So, you're an artist? What do you do?" Oliver asked with genuine interest.

"Well, I study art, I guess. I want to be a concept artist, you know, for games or movies or so. But, eh, right now, I'm just a student, and I'm not really that good."

"That's not how I remember it!" smiled Oliver. "Can you show me more of your work?"

Nathan nodded as he got out his sketchbook. Talking about his art was something he was comfortable with and allowed him to warm up somewhat over the course of the conversation. Oliver appeared to be quite a nice guy and had a lot of questions about drawing, so, Nathan, in turn, started to relax and talk more freely. He found out that Oliver was a veterinary technician and had a part time job at a dog shelter. That, combined with the fact that he was, in general, a really nice and positive guy, made him incredibly appealing to Nathan.

After the two had talked for a while, Oliver suddenly remarked: "You know, I really like your stubble! It really suits you!"

Stubble? What was he talking about? Nathan rarely needed to shave, but he had done so this morning, so, it was absolutely impossible that he should have visible facial hair. And yet, as he felt his chin, his fingers met with bristly short hair, so dense and long that there was no way he could have missed it this morning. Nathan found it strange, to say the least, but didn't want to make a scene in this situation. His spark of courage was a small candle flame now, as he just smiled while he felt his chin and said "Thank you!"

The two continued to chat a bit. While doing so, Nathan tried not to think too much about the fact that his clothes were, somehow, tighter than before.

Finally, Oliver's phone buzzed, and he looked at the screen.

"Damn, it's that late already?"

"What is it?", asked Nathan.

"Oh, the dog shelter. I have a shift soon, I need to go!"

Nathan sighed inwardly. He was really enjoying the date and didn't want it to end. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of Olivers hand on his. It felt... good. Good and strange, like the texture of his own hand was somewhat wrong, somewhat rougher than before. When he looked up into Oliver's eyes, he found the other man smiling.

"I really enjoyed this. You are a wonderful person, Nathan. We should do this again."

Nathan nodded. He didn't trust his voice right now.

"How about... tomorrow?", Oliver continued. "There's an art exhibition in town, perhaps you would like to go there with me?"

Nathan's heart jumped a beat. He didn't have time or courage yet to go to the exhibition and the prospect of seeing Oliver again so soon was wonderful.

"I would very much like that", Nathan replied and smiled.

"Great! Let's meet there, say at 5?"

"Sure!"

Oliver smiled his beautiful, broad smile, and stood up, leaving some money for the coffees on the table. Nathan too got up, but before he could leave, Oliver stopped him with a warm expression in his eyes. "You know, I really think I like you a lot." He said, and his hand touched Nathan's somewhat bristly cheek. Almost automatically, both of their faces drew closer to each other, until their lips met with the slightest touch. It was a chaste, short kiss, but Nathan could feel Oliver's lips smile when they broke apart.

"See you tomorrow!", said Oliver and left the cafe.

Nathan's knees felt weak, and his heart was beating rapidly. There were a thousand feeling, all happening inside him at once and Nathan needed a moment to sort through them before he was able to move again. There was a part of him that couldn't quite believe what just happened, but the biggest part was just euphoric. He basically jogged back to his home, full of a never experienced energy.

When he arrived in his room, his body was feeling even weirder than before. All of his clothes were way too tight. It was not just that he felt constricted, no, the clothes actually were much too small. He quickly got rid of them, noticing that, again, he had sweated like a pig. As Nathan glanced down on himself, he could almost see that his body was somehow different. Fitter, healthier. It was probably just his imagination, though, caused by his ecstatic mood. He briefly considered taking another shower but postponed it to tomorrow. There would be plenty of time and Nathan felt really glad and tired for today.

Nathan woke up from two different feelings the next morning. First, he felt itchy and sweaty all over his body and was subconsciously scratching himself in his sleep. Second, and perhaps even more importantly, Nathan was experiencing a severe case of morning wood. His manhood was rigid and pulsating under his sheets and was begging for attention. Nathan had a hard time remembering when he last experienced such an urgent urge to jerk off. He wasn't sure, but the memories of their kissing yesterday came to his mind as soon as he woke up, so, he couldn't resist closing his hand around his hard cock and started pumping. His hand felt rough and big, and Nathan couldn't be sure, but both length and girth of his tool seemed increased, too. However, Nathan could hardly concentrate on that due to the waves of pleasure washing over him.

It didn't take very long for Nathan to shoot a big load onto his stomach, with a moan. It was a big and sticky load, too, mixing with the little dark hairs on his stomach and chest. Nathan blinked in post-nut clarity. Hairs? He didn't have body hair.

Nathan got up quickly and went to the bathroom. Something about his perspective was off, too. It was like the ceiling was closer than it was supposed to be, and the ground further away. Once Nathan had used some toilet paper to wipe away most of the cum, he took a look at himself in the mirror. There was no denying that he looked different. He was definitely somewhat taller and broader than before. He didn't have a scale, but he was sure that he had gained quite some weight as well - not only due to the increased height and broader shoulders but also because his previous stickman-like appearance had been altered quite somewhat. All over his frame, a lean definition was visible, hinting at muscles even. His chin was covered in visible stubble and there was a bit of body hair visible, mainly on his chest and stomach as well as peeking out under his armpit.

Speaking of which, as Nathan raised his arm to look at his pits, a certain smell reached his nose. A musky, manly, slightly sweaty odor that wasn't quite unpleasant but was certainly unfamiliar.

Nathan had a hard time wrapping his mind around what he was seeing. There was no denying he looked *good*. He just didn't look exactly like *himself*. And for some reason, this didn't bother Nathan quite as much as it probably should. He should be panicking or calling a doctor. People didn't just grow taller overnight or put on definition without working out. And yet, Nathan only felt a slight bit of curiosity and a weak impulse that he probably *should* work out then.

Nathan shook his head and went back to his bedroom. He didn't bother putting on clothing and tried to pass the time until afternoon. The only thing that he *really* regretted about his sudden changes was that his favorite shirt and jeans would definitely not fit anymore.

He ended up watching a bit of TV and browsing the internet, before he decided it was time to prepare himself. Finding clothes that would fit now proved to be quite a challenge, but in the end, he settled on a plain t-shirt and some cargo pants. He had bought both of them a number too big by mistake, which came in quite handy now.

Walking through the city was a strange experience. He felt good about himself and held his head high. Combined with the fact that Nathan's head was, indeed, higher than before, it was like seeing the city in a whole new perspective. Less looking at the ground and more looking straight ahead.

His new posture seemed to have another effect, too. Where before he had to avoid people, trying not to get in their way, now they seemed to be stepping aside for him, which was a foreign but not unpleasant experience.

Finally, he arrived at the exhibition and found Oliver already waiting for him. They greeted with a hug and a short kiss, both fully reciprocated by Nathan, and went inside. Although Oliver seemed to notice something was off about Nathan, he didn't mention it and apparently forgot about it quickly.

Today, Nathan found it much easier to talk to Oliver and brought up topics by himself.

The exhibition however was kind of a let-down for Nathan. Although he could judge on a rational level that the art presented here was really well-done and interesting, on a purely emotional level, Nathan found it mind-numbingly boring. The conversation steered away from the art quickly, and more towards personal matters, which was a relief. So, even though they didn't care much about the paintings around them, the two of them ended up wandering around the exhibition for hours, talking and having a good time.

During the date, however, Nathan was quickly experiencing an unfamiliar feeling. The company of Oliver was... exciting. Exciting on a sexual, primal level. Nathan's larger manhood grew semi-hard in his underwear quickly, so Nathan had to readjust himself more than once. At first, he was very self-conscious about it and tried to be as subtle as possible. However, with every push his cock needed in order not to be too obvious, Nathan actually cared less about who saw him readjust himself. He was a guy after all, and all big-dicked men had that particular problem from time to time.

Besides forming a bulge in his groin, however, his constantly semi-hard cock did one more thing: Nathan was leaking precum in his underwear. First, it was just a drop or two on an involuntary throb, but it quickly became more. His underwear was feeling damp before long, and a faint note of sexuality mixed into his still present smell.

After a while, Oliver even commented on it, in his usual upbeat way: "Hey, Nathan, I have to say, you smell pretty good. Are you using cologne?"

Nathan hadn't noticed his own smell too much. His first impulse was to apologize, but the burning campfire of courage inside of him quickly told him otherwise. Oliver didn't complain. In fact, he liked it.

So, Nathan answered with a grin: "Nope. That's just how I smell."

Oliver took another whiff of the mixture of sweat, dried cum and precum and smiled. "Well, I like it!"

Nathan wasn't quite sure how to react, and just said: "Thanks!"

The exhibition was closing down soon, and Nathan offered Oliver to accompany him to the train station, which he gladly accepted. When they parted, they kissed again. This time, it wasn't a small, timid kiss like before, but a long, sexual one that made Nathan's dick twitch like mad in the confines of his pants. Since their bodies were pressed closely together, Nathan could be sure that Oliver felt the movement against his own groin.

Only after they broke the kiss, Nathan noticed that he was now looking down on Oliver slightly. He could have sworn that Oliver had been slightly taller than him yesterday.

There was no telling on how the evening would have continued hadn't it been for Oliver's train to arrive just then. Before Oliver could board the train, however, Nathan grinned at him and said: "Dinner tomorrow? The Italian place downtown, at 6?"

"I would love that!"

They kissed again and Nathan watched as the train pulled out. Then, he went back to his dorm, whistling a happy tune. It didn't even occur to him that he had taken the initiative in asking Oliver out for a third date. The fire of confidence was burning bright inside of him.

When he came home, Nathan immediately stripped out of his clothes. Even the larger shirt had become somewhat tight. He took a short look at it. There was a wet patch under both arms from his constant sweating, and the t-shirt had adapted his smell. There was something else in the smell, though. At the chest region, there was a medium sized stain, machine oil from the smell of it. Nathan wondered briefly how he could have missed it this morning but then diverted his attention to more pressing matters. His cock was fully hard and was poking out from the waistband of his briefs. Nathan hadn't had an erection like that since puberty and, if he was honest with himself, the feeling was rather nice. Without hesitation, he closed his hand around his hard meat and gave it a few experimental pumps. A low growl escaped his mouth, and a shiver went through his body. He didn't want to go slow, he wanted to fuck. His mind was focused on the task at hand. He didn't even bother to close his curtains, as he went for it. Nathan was jacking himself off, fast and hard, growling and groaning, until he finally exploded all over his chest and face, shooting multiple loads of thick white cum everywhere.

As Nathan was catching his breath, the smell of cum was heavy in the room. God, he needed that. Ever since he met Oliver today. He wiped his face and chest with his discarded t-shirt and briefly considered if he wanted to take a shower. The smell emanating from him was rather strong now, but still, he didn't want to. Oliver seemed to like his body odor, and, if Nathan was being honest, he did so himself, too.

Nathan was woken by his alarm the next morning. As his mind came to focus, his hand reached for the smartphone automatically and dismissed the alarm. He yawned and stretched. He was really looking forward to today. Given, it was the last day before classes started again, but he was going to a third date with Oliver this evening!

When Nathan crawled out of bed and went for his bathroom, however, his body felt weird again. The muscles had become more defined over the course of the last two days and now, the whole body structure felt *strong*. The few hairs from before had become a small forest of body hair and the stubble had grown thicker. He still didn't feel the need for a shave, though.

Nathan wasn't quite sure about the whole situation. Of course, he was enjoying the change. On the other hand, ... No, fuck the other hand. This was great, plain and simple. He finished his morning business standing up while peeing, which he usually never did. But right now, it just felt *right*.

After that, he inspected his wardrobe. He had half-feared that he would need to go and buy new clothes, but apparently, overnight his wardrobe had changed as well. It was filled with sturdy cargos or work pants as well as simple shirts and the occasional overall. Good!

His underwear choice had also changed. Instead of briefs or boxers, the drawer was now filled with jockstraps. That made sense, of course - only a jockstrap would set his large dick in the right scene.

None of the clothes qualified as "clean". Sure, they had been washed before they went into the wardrobe, but permanent grease or oil stains had permeated the fabric just as Nathan's manly stink - both marks no washing machine could ever erase entirely.

Nathan grabbed one of the pants and smelled it. He couldn't help but smile. This was his smell. This was *his* smell. His manly, sweaty, dirty, horny smell. He even felt his ever-present dick twitch a bit at the smell. Nathan wasn't sure if he would ever get used to this new reality. Or if this even was the final reality.

The hours passed quickly. Nathan was keeping himself busy, playing games or listened to music. Not once did it occur to him to draw something or even look at his art. This new him wasn't particularly creative, it seemed.

Nathan's mind wandered back to the date this evening. He couldn't wait to see Oliver again. In fact, he couldn't wait for more than that. It was a third date and Nathan wanted to go all the way with Oliver. He wanted to take his ass and fuck it into oblivion.

At around 5 pm, Nathan stood in front of the Italian place, waiting for Oliver. When Oliver finally arrived, the two men greeted each other with a passionate kiss. Nathan could tell that the kiss was having an effect on Oliver, as his breathing was quicker than usual.

They went inside and sat down on a table. Almost automatically, Nathan's legs spread wide, taking up space, establishing presence and, most importantly, giving his equipment the necessary space. The *old* Nathan would have sat with his legs closed or even crossed, in order to not draw any attention to himself. However, the new Nathan didn't want to draw *less* attention.

The two chatted a bit, with the main topic of the conversation being the menu, before ordering. When he spoke, Nathan noted that his voice had dropped an octave, making his voice gravely and his laugh a low rumble. When Oliver had chosen, Nathan summoned the waiter and ordered for the both of them, his lower voice full of confidence. For Nathan, it was a large meat pizza and a beer.

"You know, I have never seen you drink before", remarked Oliver.

"I don't usually", replied Nathan. "But I thought I'd have a beer today."

"You're not driving, are you?"

"Na, I'm here on foot."

Oliver smiled his usual smile. "I'm here by car, so if you like, I can give you a ride home afterwards."

There seemed to be some subtext to this offer, but it went over Nathan's head. Not that it was necessary, because he had the exact same plans, anyway.

"Sounds great!"

A couple of minutes later, their pizzas arrived, and the two dug in.

"I really like your style, Nathan." said Oliver after a while.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, the way you dress. The way you talk. The way you act."

"Oh. Thanks."

Nathan thought for a moment before he added: "You know, I go by Nate these days."

"Nate, eh?", smiled Oliver.

"Yeah. Fits better, you know."

"I guess so. I like it a lot!"

"I like your style, too."

"What do you mean by that?", Oliver laughed.

"Just, the way you talk, the way you walk. Everything. You're cute, you know."

"Why, thank you!"

The conversation was definitely a lot more flirtatious than yesterday. When they had finished their meals, they didn't linger much longer in the restaurant but got into Oliver's car.

Nate proceeded to give Oliver directions to his home. However, at a certain crossing, he had to stop and think for a moment. He knew for a fact that his dorm was to the left. But he also knew for a fact that his *home* was to the right. Nate decided not to overthink it and directed Oliver to the right with a firm voice.

They didn't get very far from that point, when suddenly, the car stopped with a jerk.

"Damn, sorry!" said Oliver. "The engine is acting up again. It's probably too cold or something like that. I'll just try to start it up again."

When after the third try, the engine didn't start again, Nate laid a hand on Oliver's. "Let me try." he said with a confident voice and left the car. When he opened the hood, the problem became clear to him right away.

"The carburetor is a bit clogged, I'll unclog it real quick and we're ready to go."

While Oliver was staring at Nate in surprise, as the latter quickly and with trained skill removed a few parts and then, with a flex of his mighty arms, applied percussive maintenance to the part in question. After Nate had reassembled the engine, he cleaned his hands on his pants and got into the car again, filling out the passenger seat with his presence.

"It should work again for now, but I'll have to clean it thoroughly tomorrow. The thing is just old and worn down, it needs replacing soon. Just try starting the engine."

Oliver was still staring at Nate with a disbelieving look on his face. Finally, however, he tried starting the engine again, and the car did indeed start running smoothly.

"Wow, Nate, that was amazing! Where did you learn that?"

"What do you mean", grinned Nate. "That's what I do!"

Oliver stared at him for a moment. "Wait, you're a mechanic?"

"Yeah, sure, didn't I tell you when we met?"

Oliver seemed to think about it but then slowly nodded: "Yes, I... think so. Weird. I could have sworn..."

Nate shrugged and pointed down the road: "Shall we go?"

They arrived at Nate's place shortly after. He had a cheap apartment directly over the car garage where he worked. Nate did try to clean up a bit the afternoon, but the place still screamed "Manly bachelor" all over the place with the occasional beer can or jockstrap scattered around.

Neither of them had time to care, though. As soon as the door closed, the two kissed. It wasn't just a chaste, romantic kiss. This was a heated, passionate kiss, full of desire and lust. Nate took Oliver's body and pushed him against the wall, grinding their bodies together. Both were hard and their breathing was rapid. Nate's hands wandered up and down Oliver's body, squeezing and grabbing his body. His fingers were strong and forceful, and he squeezed the smaller man's buttocks and his dick with the same intensity. Oliver responded by moaning and pushing his groin against Nate's, humping him.

Suddenly, Nate broke the kiss. "Oliver, I... I want you. I want to fuck you."

Oliver didn't answer, but kissed Nate again, harder this time. Nate's tongue invaded his mouth, and the bigger man's hands were ripping Oliver's shirt and pants off him. Once Oliver's dick was free, it was enveloped by Nate's big calloused hand, and Oliver's breath hitched in his throat.

"Oh god, Nate, yes!" he moaned.

Nate had enough of foreplay, and he wanted to fuck, now. Without wasting any time, he quickly pushed his pants down and pressed his dick against Oliver's. It was massive, even compared to Oliver's not insignificant size. While Nate's balls were big and heavy, his cock was thick, long, and veiny, with a fat mushroom head. It was also rock hard, and the head was already drooling precum.

With one hand, Nate stroked the two cocks together, rubbing them and smearing the precum all over his dick and Oliver's. With the other hand, he pulled Oliver close and kissed him again, a long, sensual, passionate kiss, which made Oliver moan into his mouth.

The two stood like that for a while, but finally, Nate's need to fuck was stronger than anything else.

"Bedroom. Now!" he growled and dragged the smaller man with him. Once there, Nate simply tossed him onto the bed and followed quickly, his cock pointing up. He positioned himself on top of the other man and kissed him again, their tongues dancing in their mouths.

When the kiss broke, Oliver was panting.

"You really are a big boy, huh?"

"Damn right I am."

"Oh god, I need your big dick inside of me!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you?"

"Please! I've wanted to feel your huge meat in me for days."

"Fuck yeah. You're gonna get it."

Nate reached under his bed and produced a bottle of lube, which he applied liberally to his dick.

"You're ready?"

"Do it, big guy."

Nate placed the head of his massive cock against the tight pucker and started to push. Slowly but steadily, his dick invaded Oliver's ass.

"Oooooooooh god, Nate, yesssssss!" moaned Oliver.

The pressure around Nate's dick was unbelievable. Oliver was clearly tight, and the way his asshole was massaging his dick felt heavenly.

Finally, Nate's dick was balls-deep inside Oliver. Both were breathing heavily, and Oliver was moaning incoherently. Nate gave him a moment to adjust and then started moving his hips, first slowly, but increasing his pace quickly. Soon, he was slamming into Oliver's ass as hard as he could, pulling almost completely out and then thrusting back inside the smaller man.

"Fuck yeah! You like that? You like my huge dick pounding your tight little ass?"

"God, yes, Nate, fuck me, fuck meeee!"

Nate was groaning and growling, a sound that came deep from his chest and made Oliver moan even louder.

"Oh shit, Nate, I'm so close! Don't stop, please don't stop, don't st- ooooooooh gooooooood!"

Nate felt Oliver's muscles clamp down on his dick, and that sent him over the edge. He buried his dick as deep as he could and shot a big load of cum deep into Oliver's guts.

The two of them collapsed on each other, spent but happy.

A lot had changed for Nathan in this new year. He had gotten a new body, a new job, a new identity even. But most importantly, he had found love. Nate the manly mechanic sighed. If he were to describe his feelings, looking into the future, there was only one fitting word: Confidence.

I actually generated a ton (okay, 50) of images for this story. If you want to check out the alternate versions of the different stages of Nathan/Nate, check out my tip jar, where I posted them!

#male transformation #muscle transformation #dumbing down #hairy #mental transformation #sweat #musk #romance

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the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 5 months

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#381

“Wakey wakey. Time to wake up…. Don’t try to move around too much. As you are realizing, you are in a predicament. You are lying in my basement, buck naked, tied up, gagged, collared, with a fuck pillow under your pelvis. You ain’t going anywhere, anytime soon….

“We’ve never met, but we know each other. We both do the same thing for work, but we are nothing alike. This is what’s happening. I am part of a nameless organization that takes faggots, trains them to be slaves, and sells them to buyers from around the world. From what I’ve been told over the years, the faggots delivered to me want to drop off the grid and sold into slavery. They turn themselves in to a collector, who then has them delivered to me. I don’t know if that’s true as I don’t let any of the faggots talk other than to say, ‘Yes Sir!’

“Now for you, I was told your backstory. It seems that you are a collector for a different kind of group. I train fags who offer themselves up for the taking. You seem to prefer the non-consensual abductions of twelve- to fifteen-year-old girls. I don’t care that you prefer pussy over dicks, but I do draw the line with their age.

“As I said, I was told what you are. That never happens. Ever. But it appears that you approached the ten-year-old niece of one of higher ups in the organization, and he recognized what and who you were. That stupid move brought you here.

“I have no idea who the higher up is nor do I care. Hell, we don’t know any of the men that are in the other parts of my organization, let alone hear from them. So I found it surprising to get a call from a higher up—who I haven’t heard from in a few years—that I am to train you personally. You better fucking believe that I’m going to train the fuck out of you.

“I have been training faggots for nearly forty years. This is my farm you are on. Twelve hundred acres. Twelve hundred acres with some of the most advanced surveillance and anti-escape deterrents. I know of every person who steps foot on my property, and I know if a slave is ten feet away from where it is supposed to be. The ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, and collar have tracking devices in them. The collar can deliver a shock to keep you in line at a moment’s notice. And the ankle cuffs are set up that if you go beyond a certain perimeter, a numbing agent is injected causing your legs to go numb and become useless. Escape is not possible. In my twenty years at this location, I have only had one slave make it off property, but it was collected within three minutes of doing so. That slave was brought back and tortured in front of all the other slaves as a deterrent. And that was before all the tracking technology was put in. So keep that in mind if you decide to do something stupid.

“Now,… for the past five minutes, I have been telling you the predicament you find yourself in. I have been watching your reaction. Being gagged, you can’t say anything, but your body language says it all. You seem too calm and not surprised at the description of my organization. No reaction really. That tells me that you are familiar with an operation like this. When I tell you that you were collected for stalking that niece, you don’t look shocked by that accusation. That pretty much confirms what I was told,… not that it matters otherwise.

“No, the only reaction I saw was when I tell you that I am going to do your training. You looked panicked. Your eyes went right to my bulge. Oh yeah. I noticed. You are straight indeed. I should say, ‘were straight.’ From this moment on, you will never go back to that life. The only cunt in your future is the one I’m about to make out of this hole between your legs.

“You have a great ass, so flawlessly smooth. On any other slave, this ass would be a huge selling feature. But for you, it’s a source of pain. I need to put out my cigarette somewhere. Your asscheek is the best place to do it…. Scream motherfucker scream. Your perfect ass is going to go through some changes, from being daily whipped to being used as an ashtray. You are going to be scarred up for sure.

“For the next part, I need to take off my boots and get out of these overalls. You are going to get acquainted with Otto. That’s what some of the fag slaves and some of the trainers call my dick. Otto, it means ‘eight’ in Italian. I’m actually closer to nine inches, but nine in Italian is ‘Nove’ which doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t roll over the tongue as nicely as Otto. Hehe.

“Look up at me. Look shithead! Here’s Otto. Look at the cock that is going to own your life. Half hard, it’s bigger than yours. Keep staring at my foreskin. Otto needs to piss. You will be trained on drinking piss. That’s all the liquid you will be given. And if you are wondering if that means that you will be trained on becoming a full toilet, let me say we stopped training our slaves on that a while back. It was too time consuming, and the buyers weren’t interested in that feature. But for you, the higher ups want you trained. But that will have to wait.

“Are you… you are…! You’re crying! About time! Hold still. Let me wash away those tears for you. Piss is the best antidote to tears. There’s no feeling in the world like starting to tear down a once proud man by simply pissing on his face. It’s getting me hard. Otto likes what he’s doing to you. But he wants action.

“Normally, you would be sucking the last few drops out of my foreskin. But I ain’t ungagging you yet. Besides, Otto needs to turn a virgin ass into a gaping cunt.

“Your hole is perfectly displayed, like it’s ready to be destroyed thanks to that fuck pillow and how wide your legs were spread and secured. Oh look. Your cock and balls are just hanging there,… exposed,…

“…Damn! Even with my bare feet, I can deliver one hell of a ball kick. Ha! Ha! Your screams mean everything to me. You know, each and every one of my personal slaves are kicked in the balls every morning. They need to be reminded of their place on a daily basis.

“Now, you will be spared that daily torture. And that’s not because I would never have you as my personal slave, and don’t worry I wouldn’t own such trash. No, I’m going to castrate you, in one of the most painful ways. I haven’t decided how yet. I do know that I will leave your empty sack intact. We have a urologist that will make changes to your dick so that you lose all ability to get hard and with a few snips to the nerves in the area, all physical sensation will be gone. Essentially your dick will constantly just hang there and be utterly useless… other than to piss out of. Every time you reach down there, you will only feel the shell of what you used to be.

“Awww you’ve done full on sob. Here let me collect some of your tears. Tears of cunts are the best lube.

“Do you feel Otto at your hole? Feel his weight in your crack? He’s ready to go. Can you feel his leak. Lucky for you, you really got me leaking. Feel that wetness? That’s all you. Virgin cunt meets wine bottle thick dick.

“Don’t fucking start resisting. Your cherry is going to be popped. Here goes.

“Don’t fucking fight me. It’s only going to be more painful for you. You are making my dick even harder.

“LET ME IN! I’m coming in. Oh, you got my head. You are really starting to piss me off.

“Urg! There. Normally I would let a cunt relax before I begin, but you don’t fucking deserve that. Right to the… goddamned… root! Fuck, you’re tight. By the end of tonight, you will be a gaping mess.

“Not only have I been lucky to have such a big dick, but I can cum multiple times a night. My first load is always quick, but the second one goes on for hours. Then I have a gang bang lined up for this cunt.

“I’ll let someone else pop the cherry in your throat. There’s no way I’m going to let Otto near your mouth, at least not while you still have a mouthful of teeth. Oh yeah, those will be coming out as part of your transformation.

“Keep crying. Oh man. Oh fuck. I’m getting close. You ready to be bred? You ready to make your transformation to cunt complete? Here it cums. Here it goddamned cums! Ahh! Ahh! Fuuuuck!

“Holy shit! That was… fuck.

“Your cunt has one of my biggest loads in it. That should help lubricate you up a bit for round two…. Don’t try to push me out. Otto will come out when he wants to. Right now, he just wants a minute to catch his breath.

“Cunt, you have nothing but hell ahead of you. There will be no let up. Today is about breaking you in. Tomorrow will begin your life of pain. We have a shitload planned for you. I don’t know how long it will be for you to with us, but each day we will strip away what made you a man, a human.

“You know, when we put a slave up for auction, we have transformed the fag into the best slave it could be. We don’t do it for its wellbeing. No, we want top dollar. And we get top dollar. That’s our reputation.

“But for you, I was given the instruction that your transformation should be so extreme that when you are put up for auction, without a reserve price, that you are so repulsively distorted that you are sold for the lowest amount we ever had for a slave. That shouldn’t be a problem with all the branding, scarification, tattooing, deteething, and so on. Your previous profession will be shared with your new owners so that they can keep up your hell. “Oh fuck. All this talk of your pathetic life is getting me hard again. I’m ready to begin round two. This should last a few hours.”

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withacapitalp · 5 months

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All this was inspired by listening to She’s So Overrated by Madilyn Bailey so fair warning LMAO. Also this got SO MUCH LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO IM SORRY IT WAS JUST ME WRITING DOWN AN IDEA......

Okay so I’m having thoughts about modern AU lead singer Eddie Munson who’s been in the industry for years with the boys. Corroded Coffin is a staple of the metal industry, but for a few years he’s been feeling really stalled in his career and just stuck in place. He’s still making music, still performing, but he feels like he’s getting farther and farther from that kid who used to scream and sing in his closet bedroom in the shoebox apartment he used to share with Wayne.

So when he and the boys are in an interview and the interviewee brings up how “King” Steve Harrington from The Four is trying to reinvent himself with the help of former bandmate Robin Buckley, Eddie goes off. He works himself up into a little tizzy, ranting Munson Doctrine style about how a former teen pop star trying to become some second rate folk singer isn’t anything special, and that he wouldn’t be caught dead cashing in like that.

That Steve’s music is bad (even though he’s honestly never listened to it) and “King” Steve is overrated. How even Beiber is better than him. He’s just bullshit.

Of course the interview goes viral, and finds its way to Steve and Robin. Robin listens to it first and she doesn’t want Steve to watch it. She knows how close things like this cut him (especially that word), and how he’s been dealing with a lot of hate from everyone even from former fans who are confused by the sharp contrast of his new music- aka the music he’s finally being allowed to write now that he’s broken away from his momager- but Steve makes her show him.

She’s sure that she’s going to have to spend the next week rebuilding his confidence.

And instead, Steve’s lip curls into a smile, and he grabs his songbook, telling her to find her guitar.

Eddie wakes up five days after the interview to a huge flood of social media notifications, a dozen missed calls from the boys and his manager and his uncle. He ignores them all and goes to see what he fucked up this time.

Eddie opens Youtube and it’s at the top of his recommendations. The thumbnail is Steve and Robin sitting together with a guitar in her lap. The title of the video is just one word.

Bullshit.

This can’t be good.

Eddie listens to it even though he doesn’t want to. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a coward. Not anymore. He listens to it because he has to know how much he’s fucked up.

And then he listens to it again. And again. And again.

It gets stuck in his head. All of it. Not just the song (which admittedly is pretty killer) but also hearing the flippantly mean words he had casually thrown at Steve being shoved back in his face. He had seen Steve as an abstract thing, just a symbol of everything wrong with the industry, not a real person. And now this actual human being that he’s hearing has turned all of that garbage into a song that feels more genuine then most of the music on the last two albums he wrote himself. A song that has heart, joy, and a strong current of pain underneath, especially in the bridge where Steve just sings the word bullshit over and over.

There’s even more than that. He also sees the way Robin and Steve interact while they’re working the smiles, the jabs, the silly little way Steve bobs his head along as he listens to her play, the way they both collapse into giggles at the end as Steve directly quotes the part of the interview where Eddie said that Steve “is just another laundry basket devil trying to act like a big shot now that he’s too old for teen girls to moon over.”

He can’t remember the last time he and the boys had that much fun making a song.

Hell, Eddie even sees their apartment. It’s a pretty nondescript room, but he can see the wear and tear on the furniture, the cobwebs in the corners of the room, the slightly drooping houseplant with the name “Dart” lovingly painted on its pot. It feels like a home, and as Eddie looks around at the bedroom in his far too big mansion, he feels even more like a fraud.

Eddie listens to the song on repeat for most of the morning. In the afternoon he finally answers everyone, and starts to put his plan into motion.

By that evening he’s on the phone with Steve asking him and Robin to help Corroded Coffin write their next song.

#steve harrington #stranger things #st #eddie munson #steddie #steddie ficlet #st4 #steve and eddie #Robin buckley #platonic stobin #platonic soulmates Stobin #stranger things au #modern au #rockstar Eddie munson #pop star Steve harrington #And yes in my head they fall in love #and robin falls in love with CC manager Chrissy Cunningham shhhhhh #corroded coffin

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fickleminder · 6 months

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be good

AU inspired by this prompt: Humans are born with demon counterparts to protect them. The more innocent and pure a person is, the more mean, fierce, and terrifying their demon becomes.

Halloween 2023 fic 😈

It’s one of the things your parents often told you when you were growing up.

"Behave yourself."

"They won’t hurt you if you’re good."

"Say please and thank you."

"It’s okay, they’re your best friend."

"Mind your manners."

"You can always rely on them to protect you."

"Be good, now."

You’ve had multiple shadows for as long as you could remember. No one else could see them; a person’s demon was their own after all, but you quickly realized that everybody around you only had the one. Any attempts to convince your family otherwise only led them to believe yours was a shapeshifter.

But one demon or seven, they never laid a finger on you. Sometimes they kept their distance, watching over you from afar; other times they stayed within arm’s reach, readily accepting your touch should your curiosity win out. You soon became accustomed to the chilly air around them, their cool skin a familiar comfort on days when you just needed a hug.

They were brothers too, despite not looking anything alike. You talked to them of course, wanting to know more about your protectors friends, where they came from, what they did to pass the time when they weren’t watching you. The oldest one told you that they weren't like the other demons; they were more important, had other roles to fulfill and duties to tend to, which was why they had to take turns looking after you.

"I'm sorry for being a bother," five-year-old you said. You'd been left alone more often than not, your father having passed away recently while your mother worked extra jobs to keep the both of you fed. She never neglected you when she was home, but you still felt like a burden to her.

"You're not a bother," the oldest one — Lucifer — chided you gently. "Your mother loves you, and so do we. Never forget that, understand?"

You gripped his pant leg and nodded into his thigh, only relaxing when a gloved hand reached down to stroke your hair.

The wind howled outside your window and rattled the panes. Cloudy skies covered the moon, casting your room into inky blackness as you huddled under the blankets and shivered, eyes wide open and unable to sleep.

Everything seemed louder in the dark: the shrieking gusts, the creaky old floorboards, the scuttles in the walls, the scratching and rustling behind your closet door—

"It's way past your bedtime, you know."

The voice came out of nowhere, but all you felt was a sharp sense of relief knowing that you weren't alone tonight. "I'm scared," you whispered to it, clutching the sheets tighter against your body. "Can you check the closet for monsters, please?"

One of the shadows in the room seemed to grow and stretch, moving lazily towards the closet in question. You didn't dare to peek over the blankets, but you heard the door open and close as the faint noises from within fell blessedly silent.

"Better?" The voice drawled, returning to its place under your bed. "Go to sleep now. There's nothing scarier here than me."

"Thanks Belphie. Goodnight."

You let one arm dangle off the side of your bed as you finally closed your eyes. After a while, you felt a cold hand grasping yours, keeping you safe in its grip.

"I said I was sorry!"

"You think a simple 'sorry' is gonna cut it?!"

Bumping into other students in a crowded hallway was almost inevitable, but apparently this upperclassman took personal offense at it. The older boy hauled you up by your shirt and slammed you against the lockers while everybody else kept their heads low and gave the two of you a wide berth.

"I oughta teach you a lesson for—" He looked over his shoulder at someone you couldn't see, frowning with irritation. "Whaddya mean 'wrong person'? This twerp was the one who—"

Whatever his demon said must have convinced him, because he abruptly let go and stomped away without another word. Your knees buckled and you slid to the floor with a breathy exhale.

Someone squatted down beside you to check the back of your head, running gentle fingers through your hair to soothe you. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I was more startled than anything." You smiled at Satan, who still seemed somewhat troubled. "Can you walk me to my next class?"

"With pleasure."

That night, Satan got Asmo to read to you on his behalf, claiming he had a last minute errand to run. You didn't mind; Asmo had such a melodic voice that he might as well have sung you to sleep.

(You never saw that upperclassman in school again. People still said he transferred out.)

The day your mother passed, you were sitting next to her and holding her hand, doing your best to ignore the beeping of the machines that monitored her vitals.

One minute she was peaceful, halfway dozed off while you spoke to her softly, the next her entire body seized up as she began mumbling incoherently.

The machines went haywire and alerted the nurses to her side. You were forced to step back and let them do their job, your panicked gaze focused on her fearful face as she writhed on the bed, as though struggling to get away from an assailant.

"No, no... I thought... Please..." were the last words you heard before someone wrapped their arms around you and turned you away.

"Don't look," Asmo cooed in your ear, moments before the shrill beeping noises became steady.

The demon guided you to sit in the hallway outside, whispering words of comfort and rubbing your back. He told you to remember how pretty your mother was before her illness, the good times you'd spent with her after all the hardship the two of you had endured, happy memories that made every second worth it.

You knew your demons would help you to work through the grief in time, but for now, you let yourself fall apart in Asmo's arms.

"Take care on your way home."

"Thanks boss, see you tomorrow."

Closing shifts sucked, but the late hours paid well. Luckily, you had company on your walk back too, a hulking figure no one else could see but everybody still instinctively steered clear of. It made taking shortcuts through shady alleys a little safer.

Even on nights you stopped for supper at a sleazy diner, the only place still open at this godforsaken hour, nobody invited themselves into your booth or tried to strike up conversation with you. Which worked just fine, all you wanted to do was eat your food, go home, and collapse into bed.

Strangely enough, you noticed that the cook also tended to be extra generous with the portions he served you. The man was loud and gruff towards the waitstaff, but on nights you were seated at the counter, he was quiet as a mouse when setting your dish in front of you.

You could never finish it all, but you always made sure to leave a good tip anyway.

You stared at the numbers on the screen for the longest time, feeling conflicted. A part of you wished you had never approached your coworker to ask about the discrepancies you'd found in the accounts, not when he opened your eyes to some of the dealings that went under your boss's radar. He offered you a cut of the profits to keep your mouth shut of course, but you never imagined...

He was a good guy. Hardworking, funny, always willing to pitch in and offering to pick up a bite for you whenever he went on snack runs. You knew he went to church regularly too, so why?

A bat-like wing blocked your view of the screen, and you looked up to see Mammon smirking. "You're overthinking this," he said. "The answer's right in front of ya."

"I thought..." You bit your lip. "He isn't doing too well himself, and the company isn't a megacorp or anything but it's not like they'll notice. Shouldn't I just look the other way?"

"Ha! What he's offering ya is peanuts compared to the promotion you'll get by exposing his operation."

"I'm not in it for the money—"

"Maybe so, but it's the right thing to do, ain't it?"

"Still..."

"You won't have to worry about any retaliation." Mammon assured you with a ruffle of your hair. "I'll make sure of it."

"—lie! It's all a lie! Listen to me, you can't trust the devils!"

"What nonsense are you watching now?" Levi leaned over your shoulder as you tilted your phone to give him a better view.

"A video that went viral recently. Some crazy dude ranting about conspiracies and whatnot."

Levi's nose scrunched up in distaste. "Sounds like he's jealous about having a wimpy lesser demon chained to him, if you ask me. These guys are just bitter they got leftovers since they aren't good people."

"I don't know, Levi. Some folks just need a bit of help, I think. And don't get me started on the whole nature vs. nurture debate."

"Well, doesn't change the fact that you can't save everybody."

"They're cultivating us, like livestock! You have to sin, SIN I say!"

"Ugh, I've had enough of this dude. Can you change the channel? We haven’t watched the latest episode about that time-traveling god yet.”

"Ooh, you’re right! Give me a sec to log into my account…"

Lucifer hummed in amusement. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend." You scrambled to clarify your earlier statement. "It's just— I've known you and your brothers for so long that you don't look scary to me, not anymore. I'm not saying you guys should be monsters or anything, but... Does this mean I'm a bad person?"

"Demons have many forms not meant for mortal eyes," he explained patiently. "And you should know that humans are neither fully good nor bad, but often somewhere in-between. In any case, why would we ever wish to frighten you, hm?"

"Told you it was a silly question..." You grumbled under your breath.

Lucifer squeezed your shoulder. "You’re a good person. You always try your best to do the right thing, even without our guidance to keep you from going astray. I don't say this lightly: I’m proud of you."

You hid your warm cheeks in the demon's chest as you hugged him for all you were worth. "...Thanks Luci."

"Anytime. Now, off you go. Don't keep Beel waiting."

Lucifer watched as his younger brother filled the empty space next to you, holding your hand while walking you home. The hour was late and the streets were dark; it wouldn't do to have anything unsavory happen to you before you made it home safely.

Yes, they needed to keep you safe at all costs. A pure and innocent being like you was hard to come by, perhaps only once every millennia or so. He and his brothers had fought for the right to you, to nurture and polish your soul for when the time was right. And when it was, you would be—

"Delicious," Lucifer whispered, baring his fangs as he licked his lips.

#writing #obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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sundrop-writes · 5 months

Text

Better Than Sleeping

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary:

You and Jason are friends with benefits. Though you have come to realize that the relationship doesn’t always ‘benefit’ you when he ends up annoying you after a long, tiring day of training.

(He quickly makes you come to see that his annoying persistence can benefit you, even if you would never admit it aloud.)

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during Season 2.

Word Count: 5,300

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Warning: This fic contains Dubious Consent. One character ‘wears down’ the other and ‘convinces them’ to have sex, and both of them display verbal consent that goes against their true actions and desires (they say no to having sex when they do truly want to) and they think of convincing the other person to agree as a kind of ‘game’. It is a relationship that is playful in nature, and this consent is based on bodily queues, facial expressions, and knowing a person’s safety and comfort based on being in a relationship with them for a period of time. If this makes you uncomfortable, please don’t read the fic.

List of detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: friends with benefits, this is primarily a smut fic, the reader character uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina, Jason is more dominant and the reader is more submissive (once the sex begins), the reader could be considered a brat, Jason calls the reader ‘babe’ (it is a canon event), Jason calls the reader ‘baby’, Jason calls the reader ‘good girl’, dubious consent - coercion (please see the above for an explanation about this), mentions of masturbation (watching someone masturbate), mentions of fucking someone to sleep/fucking someone while they are asleep, mentions of free use kink, mentions of cumming inside someone/unprotected sex, marking/biting, groping/touching through underwear (reader receiving), orgasm denial (toward the reader), ‘just the tip’,teasing, there is a point where Jason’s dick is inside her without a condom but he doesn’t cum, and he puts on a condom before fully penetrating (what would you call that?), begging, slight mentions of subspace (but it’s more so described as a lustful drunkness), there is implications toward the end of fucking someone to sleep/fucking someone while they are asleep with their permission. I believe that is everything.

A/N: This is definitely one of my favourite things I have written. I thought maybe I was going to edit it some before re-posting it, but I was rereading it the other day and I actually realized that it's really good the way it is, so here you go - some random cocky Jason smut, inspired by the 'just the tip' trope. I hope you enjoy!

...

You knew that becoming a Titan was never going to be easy.

But fuck, this was a lot harder than you imagined it would be. Dick Grayson was quickly becoming your least favorite person. Between the 5am wake up calls and the endless workout routines, paired with the bland ‘nutrient filled’ meal plans he had everyone on to ‘fuel your bodies’ for training - he was becoming a menial drill sergeant that you couldn’t get away from. One of the only things that made it better was the fact that you had friends around - the ability to joke about him with Rachel, Gar, and Jason behind his back. Was it a bit mean-spirited? Yes. Did you feel less guilty about it whenever he added more onto the training routine? Also yes.

You had no clue when these skills you were working so hard on were ever going to come into play. Every single night, Dick retired himself into the comms room full of computers to ‘monitor the city for threats’ - but he seemingly never found anything worthy of the team’s attention. At least not yet. So you went about the routine of training hard, becoming exhausted, falling into bed to sleep and then doing it all over again.

Oh - and there was the other thing. The not so occasional part of your routine where Jason fucked your brains out. The fact that the two of you had developed a mutually beneficial relationship to help ‘relieve’ each other when you were horny, a quintessential friends with benefits situation. But with your muscles sore from training and your entire body so exhausted, that was the farthest thing from your mind on this night.

After a long, hard day of training, the last thing you wanted to hear was a knock on your bedroom door. You hoped that it was simply Gar asking to borrow some of your body wash again (because he liked the smell), or Rachel asking you to kill a spider in her room, and not Dick alerting you to some surprise training drill that he had suddenly thought up.

You shoved your pajama top over your head, finishing getting changed for the night, and rushed across the room to the door. When you opened it, you barely had time to gauge if you were pleased or displeased at seeing Jason before he spoke.

“I’m horny.” He announced abruptly, being very abrupt about delivering his feelings.

But it was in character for him, and didn’t surprise you in the least.

You hated that your stomach jolted at his words, even if just out of Pavlovian habit. It had been only two days since the last time he had fucked you. He had caught you in the shower in the morning, snuck into the bathroom with a condom between his teeth and opened the shower door to join you while you were distracted meditatively washing your hair. It had been steamy, soapy, slippery, and goddamn wonderful.

But it had left you sore and stiff before training, and you were wondering how much give and take there was - if you truly needed his cock.

“Hello to you too.” You said, your tone just as dead tired as you felt.

You wouldn’t admit that you were a bit horny too. You were tired, and you wanted to go to sleep. So that made you annoyed with his presence. (It should have made you more annoyed than you were.)

Jason bit his lip, raking his eyes up and down your body with an intense heat lurking there. You glared back at him.

Jason was intensely attractive. He was a good looking guy, that was just a fact. And while you did enjoy the way he was looking at you, staring you down like you were a porn star when you were slumped with exhaustion, wearing baggy old pjs with mascara smeared on your face with sweat, your hair a mess from the day - there was barely a spark stirred in your stomach at the idea of fucking him right now. You were just too damn tired. Dick had been running you all into the ground, instituting the same training that Batman had given him, and it was fucking exhausting.

“So - can I come in?” Jason asked.

He gave you a very expectant curl of his lips and tilted his head toward you when you didn’t say anything for a few seconds. You just stood there and stared at him bitterly.

You sighed hard through your nose, not wanting to answer the question.

Fucking him might be nice. A good orgasm before bed. But you needed to put what little energy you had left into your nightly routine and then get a good, long sleep before Dick woke everyone up at ass o’clock again.

“No.” You finally told him. “I’m going to bed.”

You turned and walked back into your room, but left the door open. You hoped that he would get the hint to leave on his own. You grabbed your bottle of makeup remover and a cotton pad and began taking off your makeup.

You weren’t so lucky.

“I’ll go to bed with you, babe.” He announced proudly. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

He then came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You felt the half hardness of his cock pressing into your ass as you wiped away your makeup with stern hands. You tried your hardest not to let him wear you down, even as you felt a tingle between your thighs. He was used to training this hard, so it wasn’t as exhausting for him. Clearly, he didn’t understand how tired you were - how badly you needed the rest.

“Go get in your own bed.” You barked, your tone becoming more strained.

As you leaned closer to the mirror to inspect your face, to make sure that you had gotten all the tiny specs of makeup off, you unintentionally arched your back, pushing your ass much closer to his crotch. Jason let out a quiet moan and you caught him smirking at you in the reflection of the mirror.

He leaned in close, draping his warm body entirely over your back, trapping you there as he put one hand on the dresser and the other on the wall and leaned his body weight on you. You could have shoved him off you if you wanted to - but as you felt a tingling heat creeping up your back, you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to.

“Come on, babe.” He sighed into your neck.

His hot breath on such a sensitive place caused a shiver through you that you would deny.

“Why are you being like this? You know if you want a good sleep, getting fucked nice and hard is the best way to get it.” He told you, so entirely cocky. “My cock will put you right to bed, baby.”

The words sent a hard jolt of electricity through you, settling a hard heat through you from your gut all the way to your face, burning uncomfortably through your skin. Combined with the way he ground his increasing hardness against your ass, you were forced to suppress a whimper.

It made you even more annoyed with him - the fact he could play your body like an instrument he had finely tuned. And you reacted with that intense annoyance.

“Why can’t you just masturbate like a normal person?” You scoffed at him, entirely firm, not giving away an ounce of weakness in your voice.

“As if.” He held intense disgust in his voice at the very idea.

He gave another firm dig of his hips, causing you to be pressed into the sharp edge of the dresser - a small twinge of pain that only added to the heat growing in your stomach.

“Why the fuck would I resort to touching myself when I have the sweetest pussy ever to fuck right down the hall?” Jason explained. “But ya know, if you want to watch me jack off, that can be arranged.”

Instead of responding to that, you just rolled your eyes. You hoped that he wouldn’t notice that subtle shift of lust in your features that said this was definitely a new fantasy of yours because he had brought it up.

“You can’t deny that you need it too.” Jason whispered into your ear.

“I need sleep.” You grunted in return.

You then shucked out of his hold, using one of the evasive maneuvers that Dick had taught you in training, ducking under Jason’s arm when he wasn’t expecting it. Before he could blink, you were across the hall and in the bathroom. It was mostly because you knew that if you stood there any longer with his warm body pressed against your back, you would have given in far too easily.

Naturally, Jason followed you.

He stuck by your side through your entire night time routine, trying to wear you down. You weighed the pros and cons in your head without truly listening to him as the exhaustion seeped into your bones and battled with the lust growing inside of you.

Jason brushed his teeth standing next to you in front of the sink while you brushed yours, all the while mumbling excuses through his toothpaste about how the sex would be good aerobic exercise to help with your training. By the time you got to doing your skincare, you ended up putting a face wash and moisturizer on him just to mentally drown out whatever he was saying - something about orgasms and endorphins and how it helps mental health.

As you pulled back the covers to finally settle in, he snuck his way into your bed under the guise of ‘just cuddling’. Though you weren’t anywhere near convinced of that sentiment, you didn’t kick him out of the room or protect. You were surprised, but grateful when he took off his shirt, laid down, and seemed to finally shut up. You weren’t sure which you were more grateful for - the quiet or the stunning eye candy of his tight body on full display. But you didn’t question the fact that he had finally stopped nagging you.

You crawled into bed beside him and settled into his arms. You gave him a kiss on the cheek as a goodnight (knowing that if you kissed him on the mouth, it would turn into something more heated). It was only about two minutes after you shut off your bedside lamp, shrouding the room in darkness, that the talking began again.

“You could sleep through it.” He noted quietly.

You sighed with deep annoyance.

“If you want to. I could be gentle about it.”

His voice continued on from behind you as he spooned you, one arm under your head underneath the pillow and the other laid almost possessively around your waist.

Of course, he didn’t even have to be too descriptive for you to know what ‘it’ was.

The idea of him gently fucking you while you fell into a lazy sleep was entirely too appealing. But he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to win. Especially not after you had put so much of your very little remaining energy into deterring him all night.

“Go to sleep.” You told him with a huff, shoving your head further into the pillow.

He simply chuckled.

You hoped that if you just ignored him, he would shut up and go to sleep.

You would never admit to him that heat bloomed in your stomach at the idea of Jason crawling into your bed when you were already in a deep sleep, using you for his own selfish pleasure and leaving you sore and full of cum to wake up to in the morning.

“Hmm… no.” He replied, as easily as a petulant child, his breath fanning out over your neck once again.

Your heated thoughts easily blossomed into a moan from your lips when he latched onto your neck without warning. He picked a particularly tender spot, sucking hard with teeth and the fullness of his lips, easily knocking the wind out of you. You shoved your heated face tightly into your pillow, praying that he wouldn’t notice your reaction. That he wouldn’t realize he so blatantly had you like putty in his hands. If he knew that, he would know that he could just take whatever he wanted and you wouldn’t protest. Not in the slightest.

Jason already knew that. But he wasn’t just going to pull down your shorts and slam his cock into you. As much fun as that would be - he wasn’t barbaric. Plus - now that he had one of your sweet little sounds in his ears, he wanted more. He wanted to hear you beg for it after denying him for so long.

He moved his arm from being so tightly around your waist, and pushed your shirt up. You tried your best to put up a wall of indifference toward this. He began skimming his touch oh so lightly along the roundness of your stomach, right above the band of your shorts. You knew he felt the shiver that ran through you, but you refused to say anything. You weren’t pretending to be asleep at this point, but it was a game to the two of you. You still refused to give in.

But he was playing to win.

He shoved his hand into the waistband of your shorts, touching you outside the fabric of your underwear. His skin felt like he could have burned you, even through the fabric. You had to make a conscious effort not to buck forward into the touch. When his fingers skimmed across your hotly beating clit (when had you gotten so turned on?) you swallowed another whimper and steadied your voice.

“Jason.” You said his name firmly, like a warning bell. “If you don’t behave yourself, I’m gonna kick you out.”

“I don’t think you will.” He whispered into your neck, defiantly cocky once again.

He sucked another hard, hot mark onto your skin as he cupped your pussy whole in his palm and began grinding the heel of his hand against your clit.

You let out a wobbling moan and your body thrashed, your energy so depleted that you could no longer hold back your body’s natural reactions to him. You were met with the hard wall of his body behind you, so firm and perfectly hot as he pressed himself tighter into you.

He gave a satisfied grin into your skin and only doubled down, putting more pressure on your throbbing clit and causing hot waves from that point, adding to the rolling boil that raged under your skin.

With the beautifully firm pressure and Jason’s talent, the way he knew your body so well, you could have come from this alone. Especially as the pleasure throbbed through your core, your underwear became more soaked through and it was all so beautifully smooth and wet.

Jason began grinding his cock - still trapped inside a pair of sweats - against the back of your thigh. He groaned into your neck when he felt a pleasurable tingling of his own spreading through his gut, though he craved to be inside of you. As much as he was enjoying this - the sweet, needy sounds falling from your lips, the way your thighs clamped around his wrist, as though desperately trying to keep him in place while your hips humped against his hand like a bitch in heat - he knew that he needed more.

And he was going to make you beg for it.

When he felt the signature twitch of your legs that said you were about to cum, he stopped. He held his hand completely still, his strong arm easily pinning your hips down to the bed to prevent you from humping against him and simply taking what you needed. In that moment, he even curled two of his fingers up to shove the fabric of your underwear inside of you slightly, creating a sharp sting that reminded you just how empty you were feeling.

“Jay-!” You let out his name in a petulant whine, about to scold him for the ruined orgasm, but he cut you off.

“You gonna ask me nicely now?” He rumbled into your ear. “Admit you were wrong?”

You wanted to bark out ‘either make me cum, or go to your own damn bed’ - but you knew that Jason was just as petty as you were. At that point, he would have gotten up and left for his own bed just to prove a point.

“You’re keeping me awake right now.” You huffed out, trying your best to sound annoyed. (Which wasn’t too difficult, considering how badly the ruined orgasm had frustrated you.) “My point still stands.”

Of course, sleeping was the farthest thing from your mind now. The sexual frustration had injected a new wave of energy through you, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to rest until you were truly satisfied.

Unfortunately, Jason knew that too.

“Okay.” Jason sighed quietly, giving a click of his tongue.

He then completely pulled his hand out of your shorts and pulled away from your body. It seemed like he was moving to get out of the bed - you worried you had accidentally triggered that signature pettiness in him.

But as usual, Jason Todd surprised you.

You bit your lip to hold back a cheer when he reached for the waistband of your shorts and underwear pulled them down all at once, exposing your hot, soaked cunt to the cool air of the room. (At some point, the blanket had been accidentally shoved off you.) You took a glance over your shoulder and of course, he was shoving his pants down to his knees. You caught a glimpse of his long, thick, hard cock bobbing out of the fabric in the darkness. But you didn’t dare to spend too much time admiring it, for fear of making him too cocky.

You relaxed against your pillow in satisfaction, waiting for Jason to grab a condom out of the bedside table’s drawer so that he could literally fuck you to sleep.

You were surprised when he scooted back toward you, pressing himself right up against your back once more. He proceeded to simply press his hips against yours - his cock laid flat against the bare folds of your leaking pussy, immediately becoming slick with your wetness. But be made no moves to grab a condom or even tease you by pushing inside of you raw.

(Which - yes, the two of you had agreed to always use condoms, but it was secretly a fantasy of yours that he would go against the rule because of his overbearing need to feel you raw - or even the need to cum inside of you).

But instead of doing any of that, Jason seemed to be settling in to relax.

Jason draped himself across your back, wrapped his arm around your waist again, and gently laid his head on your shoulder. But he made no effort to move, or fuck you. Your pussy throbbed with need, feeling the hot, hard length pressed against you, entirely unmoving. When you clenched around nothing, you let out a wave of slick that you knew he could feel right on his cock. You felt a groan catch inside his chest, but still, he didn’t move.

“Jason.” You breathed out, having to question him after a few more moments of silence and stillness. “What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep.” He answered, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I thought you wanted me to just shut up and leave you alone so that you could get some rest?”

That. Little. Shit.

You resisted the urge to elbow him in the face.

Obviously, being so close to you, he felt your entire body tense up with anger and annoyance. He was only able to partially hold back his satisfactory laughter. When the quiet snickers met your ears, you became even more annoyed.

“Jason.” You scolded him gruffly.

“Oh? I’m sorry,” He said, entirely sarcastic. “Did you want something?”

“Did you want something?” You parroted back, mocking his words in a childish voice.

Essentially, you had no more clever comebacks left. He had won.

“I guess I can give you something for your troubles, babe.” Jason sighed, as though it were a grand inconvenience to him. “Maybe just the tip, though.”

“Just the tip.” You sighed, finding yourself repeating his words once again. Though this time your voice was dead and sarcastic rather than mocking - mostly because you didn’t believe him.

You knew that in Jason land, ‘just the tip’ meant slamming his entire cock into you after the tip lingered in your entrance for a moment. You clenched down on nothing again at the thought.

Once again, you were expecting him to grab a condom so he could fuck you freely without worry. You were surprised when he peeled his body away from you slightly and reached down to grab his cock. After a moment of rubbing the fat cockhead along your folds to get it nice and wet, he did as promised and pushed the tip inside.

It was the first time he had ever been inside of you without the barrier of a condom, and feeling his hot, raw skin touching yours - even just a little bit, made you gasp.

“Jason!”

Your voice was whiny even to your own ears, so needy for him after so much teasing. Upon instinct, feeling that painfully empty ache coming from deep inside you, you arched your back and attempted to shove your hips toward him - attempted to pull more of his thickness inside of you. But Jason was quicker, and he had his hands on both your hips, shoving you down onto the bed so hard and fast that the tip of his cock fell out of you with a wet pop.

It was a sound that made heat beat through your cheeks, and the feeling of his wet cockhead brushing against the backs of your thighs took your breath away.

“Oops.” He chuckled, and moved to slot himself back into position.

You had no clue why it was so dizzyingly hot.

But this time he held you down firmly so you couldn’t simply fuck yourself back onto his cock. You moaned as the thickness of the cockhead popped back inside of you - you yearned for more, but he stayed still.

After a moment, he began to move his hips so slightly, feeding no more than an inch of his cock into your throbbing cunt before pulling it back out. It was an entirely careful movement on his part where he fed you the first inch, and didn’t let the tip pop out again, in pathetically shallow thrusts that could barely be called sex. Your pussy ached, tingled, yearned for more.

You mentally cursed Batman for teaching him such good self discipline and him using it for this.

“Jason.” You whined, trying fruitlessly to fight against the firm grip he had on your hips in order to fuck yourself on his cock.

“What, babe?” He chuckled, leaning down to kiss a line across your shoulder.

“You know what.” You replied, your tone even more frustrated and whiny.

You wiggled your hips desperately, trying to get more of him inside of you. You yearned to feel the perfect ache of his thick cock splitting you open, hitting all of those perfect spots so deep inside of you.

“No, I don’t.” He told you, his voice somehow steady and confident. “You’re gonna have to spell it out for me.”

You couldn’t see it or feel it, but his hips were trembling and his abs were tight with the pure resistance of his self control. All of the energy he was using not to slam his cock into the tight, warm velvet of your cunt, especially as he felt it leak so freely around the tip of his cock, knowing how badly you needed him. He wanted nothing more than to watch you whine and babble and fall apart on his cock - but he wanted to win just a little bit more.

There was a distinct pause. The last shreds of your own stubbornness hanging in the air, even as your cunt throbbed with need.

Even if Jason couldn’t see your face from this angle, he could feel the warring in your body. He knew you too well. And he knew how to break you down so perfectly.

“If you want anything more than this,” He told you, emphasizing the point with another pathetically shallow thrust. “If you want anything more than just the tip of my cock,” His voice was low and silken and creating even more heat that almost drowned you. “Then you’re gonna have to beg for it.”

“Fuck you, Jay.” You whined out in protest, once again trying to fight his grip on your hips to fuck yourself against him.

He viciously dug his fingers into the fat of your hips, causing a sharp sound from your throat at the beautiful pain.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to the back of your neck, and growled out his next words in a low tone that dragged through your insides in the exact spot where his cock should have been.

“Come on.” He urged you on. “Fucking. Beg.”

That was when you broke.

At least you hadn’t given in too easily.

“Please,” You whined out breathlessly. “Please, fuck me! Fuck me, Jason! I need it.”

“What else?” Jason asked expectantly.

You could have killed him. But when your desperate cunt unconsciously clenched down on the fat head of his cock and you felt yourself growing only more hot and needy, you knew that there was only one thing to do.

“I’m sorry, Jay, I should have - I should have just asked nicely in the first place. I do need it. I need your big cock inside of me so badly.” You poured it on thick, emphasizing the last words in the most pornographic voice you could muster, hoping that he was running low on self control as well.

And he was. So he was very satisfied with this. He grinned into your skin, leaving a surprisingly tender kiss on the back of your neck before he mumbled out ‘good girl’ - something that made you moan out sharply.

You let out a sharp noise of disappointment when his cock popped out of you again.

“I need a condom.” He told you, giving you a reassuring pat on the ass. “As much as I’d love to cum inside you, we do have an agreement.”

You weren’t sure which was hotter - his sex-thick voice admitting that he shared one of your deepest fantasies, or the fact that he was caring so deeply for you, making sure that he protected you with a condom even when you were in that floating headspace and willing to let him do just about anything do your body.

Your mind was swimming contemplating it, and next thing you knew it, he had the condom on successfully. He then slammed his cock inside of you in one firm, smooth movement. Any thoughts were easily pounded out of your head by the practiced movement of his hips.

“Better now?” Jason grunted into your ear.

You could practically feel his smugness radiating through his cock, spearing into you.

But you were now alight with intense pleasure, warm satisfaction rolling through you - so you couldn’t bring yourself to truly care about how smug he was. Every bit of cockiness he had, he did back it up with a pretty big dick that he knew how to use well. Not that you would ever say those words aloud to him. Not even on your deathbed.

“Just shut up and fuck me.” You ordered, though it was breathless and had no bite.

“As you wish, babe.” He replied, and then doubled down - his hips fucking into you with an intense fury.

You moaned like a whore at this, finally feeling that dizzying fullness that you had been craving since he had snuck his touch into your shorts. Jason drank up your sounds and easily wanted more - more of your perfect pussy squeezing around his cock, more of that wetness coating his inner thighs, more of that filthy wet smacking as he fucked into you.

He leaned down, draping his body fully over yours once again, creating a pleasantly smothering weight on top of you as you laid on your stomach on the bed with your face nearly drowned in the pillow. He slowed the pace of his hips to a dangerous torture of a grind, fucking you so deeply now that you were sure you could feel him coming up inside of your throat. You let out a wounded noise, and he hushed you gently.

“Shh, babe, I’ve got you.” He whispered into your ear. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

He moved one of his hands from your hip and shoved it between your body and the bed, and once again he was cupping your mound fully in his hand - but this time there was no fabric barrier, and he was settled deep inside of you. It was filling your whole body with lava, turning every place he touched you to boiling ash. You were sure that you would have dissolved into nothingness if not for the anchor of your cunt hanging onto his cock, keeping you grounded in reality with that slight nip of pain as your muscles clenched onto him.

“Now say thank you.” He told you, his voice so gruff in your ear, so thick with desire that it made you dizzy. “Thank me for giving you my cock.”

He used two precise fingers to rub circles on your neglected clit, immediately sending shockwaves through your body that made your muscles jump and jolt.

You gulped for air and struggled to move your face out of the fabric of the pillow, and Jason saw this. He moved his other hand and slid it under your cheek, gripping under your jaw to fully lift you up.

He stilled his hips completely once again, causing a pained sound to emanate from your lungs as you clamped down on his cock deep inside of you while he continued to relentlessly work over your tender clit. He gave you a couple of seconds to catch your breath. But you were so cock dumb that you had to be reminded of the goal.

“Come on, baby.” He encouraged you, pressing his lips to your cheek that he wasn’t holding onto. “Say ‘thank you’.”

“Thank you.” You easily repeated back, now completely pliant to his desires. “Thank you for-for your cock.”

“Good girl.” Jason praised you once again.

Then he began fucking into you once more - it only took a few careful thrusts of his hips and the talent of his fingers on your clit to finally bring your orgasm to life. He shoved his tongue into your mouth as you screamed through it, imitating some sloppy version of a kiss while you flailed and creamed on his cock, your body becoming truly boneless and tired as the orgasm rocked you.

When it was finished, he was still throbbing hard inside of you, and you let out a whine of disappointment. You were absolutely dead tired now, and you couldn’t even think of how much energy it would take to finish him off. Mister ‘Twice In A Sunday’ could last quite a long time, and that didn’t exactly work for you in that moment.

“You can go to sleep now, babe.” He whispered into your ear. “I’ll clean you up when I’m done.”

He began thrusting into you once more, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes drift closed.

It ended up being a good night for both of you.

...

If you enjoyed this fic, check out my DC Titans Masterlist for more of my other fics!! And please consider reblogging and commenting on this fic to tell me what you liked about it.

#sundrop writes #dc titans #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd imagine #jason todd x y/n #jason todd smut #dc titans fanfiction #titans x reader #titans hbo #titans!jason x reader

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seospicybin · 2 months

Text

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART I

I.N x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Jeongin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (12,9k words)

Author's note: Hope you like this one too. Don't forget to leave a feedback x

JEONGIN: I consider myself to be a pretty shy person. People tell me it's an extra charm I have and I learned how to use that to my advantage. My main charm? It's my smile, they work to reel the girls in [smiles] but don't worry, I have better things to show [winks]

Jeongin isn't sure that he'll do well as a contestant on a dating show.

It's definitely not about the dating part, it's the 'show' part that he's having a problem with. He doesn't consider himself as somewhat entertaining which is what someone who goes on a TV show should be.

Jeongin knows that he's reserved and quiet, unless he has something important to say, and he gets shy at times. But when it comes to his physical attributes, he doesn't have any problems with it.

He puts on his best foot forward once the staff gives the cue for him to start walking down the pier that leads to a docked boat.

It's the first time he gets to board a big, luxurious boat like this but he keeps his awe to himself knowing that a group of people have been waiting for his arrival.

Jeongin is the last contestant to get on the boat therefore he's aware of the anticipation and the expectations that he has to fill.

Even so, he's not here for that, he's here to have fun and enjoy himself.

"Oh, there he is!" Says the girl who first notices his arrival.

And also, to mingle with these attractive people he's looking at.

"Hello, what's your name?" A girl asks as she gives him a hug with a quick cheek-to-cheek.

"It's Jeongin," he answers.

"I'm Justine," she says.

Justine has blonde hair that flows down her back like a waterfall and a pair of full lips that curve into a flirty smile when he looks at her. One look and he knows that she is the type who knows how to have fun and doesn't mind getting into trouble. Not sure if Jeongin is ready to make mischief with her but he won't rule her out yet.

He quickly shifts his attention to the next girl taking her turn to hug him, she goes for both cheeks and then hands him a glass of bubbly wine.

"You're tall," she beams with a smile.

Jeongin never takes pride in his height but he can't deny that he likes being called tall.

"Thank you," he mutters.

"I'm Linda," she says.

On the contrary, Linda offers a different charm. She is a brunette with a cute smile and a thick British accent, she's looking at him with these big round, eyes and a smile that doesn't wear off her face.

However, the twin mounds on her chest catch his attention and well, he's a man after all so he glances at it just to satisfy his need.

"You have really beautiful eyes," Jeongin compliments her eyes even though he has just looked at her breasts.

"Oh, thank you," Linda says.

Jeongin continues by introducing himself to more girls. There's Francoise, another blondie with gorgeous light blue eyes, Bianca with her long legs and glowing golden skin, and then there's Courtney, who looks like she just stepped out of a swimsuit photo shoot.

"I like your smile and the dimples," Courtney says, her teeth fainty biting her lower lip as she stares at him.

It's only been a few minutes but Jeongin thanks his old self for agreeing to join this show. Never in a million years, did he imagine himself going on a yacht trip with a group of attractive people for the summer.

JEONGIN: I'm loving it here. I'm ready to rock the boat! [Grins]

Instead of being jealous, Jeongin admires his fellow male contestants for having greater bodies than him.

Especially Keith, he's big and tall, his muscles are toned and his tan skin makes his abs more defined. He must've spent countless hours in the gym to get that body and Jeongin admires him more for that.

"You're ripped," Jeongin mutters in awe at him.

Keith lets out a chuckle and brushes his wavy, brown hair to the back, "Thanks, man."

It's almost empty anyway so Jeongin decides to drain the wine straight from the bottle and he notices that everyone's head is turned. He follows to where everyone is looking then he sees a man standing on the upper deck of the boat who he assumes is the host of the show.

"Ahoy!" He greets.

Everyone is replying with various answers but Jeongin can't respond verbally when his mouth is full of wine, so he claps his hands instead.

"Welcome to my dating show, Love Overboard and I'll be your captain," He introduces himself.

Everyone is cheering and Jeongin hurriedly swallows his drink so he can also show his excitement.

"You're all about to head out on the vacation of a lifetime, and hopefully find love along the way," the captain continues.

Not sure about love but everyone is eager and frisky for this, and Jeongin is no exception. He wonders how the show is going to be because he's already having so much fun and it's only the beginning.

The captain continues with his announcement, "Tonight will be your first beach party of many, and at each party, we'll be picking up a new, sexy single."

There'll be more people joining on board? Jeongin isn't sure about finding love but hearing that, he instantly changes his mind. Maybe it is possible to find love along the way.

"However, there's a catch. There are only five double beds on board so if you don't want to sleep alone, you better pick your shipmate," the captain finishes his speech with a tricky task.

And just like that, the boat starts to sail the sea and everyone is having a round of toast to mark this moment.

"We're going to have so much fun!" Bianca says as she clinks her glass with Jeongin's empty wine bottle.

"Unless I get seasick then yeah, we're going to have fun," He jokingly says.

"I hope not," she says with a crisp laugh.

JEONGIN: There are already so many hot people on board. I don't think I can take anymore [laughs]

The males somehow gathered at the top deck, having another bottle of champagne pop open and a toast. Then the talk begins, well, you guessed it, it's about the girls.

Or in Kurt's words, the birds.

"Tell me about the birds!" He says, asking everyone for, what Jeongin assumes, girls they fancy.

Keith leans back on the sofa and brushes his brown locks, being the first to share his choice, "It's Francoise for me, she's on the top of the list," he says.

"She's fit, yeah," Mick comments, then sips his wine.

With the strong winds, Kurt decides to tie his dirty blonde hair into a low man bun, "I'm going to put myself on a race with you then," he says to Keith with a mischievous smile on his face.

"I always go for blondes so it's also Francoise for me," he remarks.

Jeongin smells competition between the two and he can't decide who to root for, they're both well-built and good-looking.

"How about you, Damon?" Kurt asks.

"I want to have some fun so for now, I want to keep my options open," Damon coyly answers, his braided curls also swinging with every gust of wind.

Jeongin sips his wine as he intently listens to the conversation going on and he almost chokes on it when Kurt slaps his knee with his big hand.

"Jeongin, my man, how about you?" He asks.

He allows himself to swallow his drink first and decides to give everyone the safe answer, "Uhm... same with Damon."

Not going to lie, Jeongin gets a little tipsy from chugging the champagne bottle earlier so it's wise that he stops drinking. He puts his drink away and focuses on giving everyone a proper answer.

"They're all beautiful but I don't want to be haste and put all the eggs in one basket," he honestly answers.

Kurt and Mick are nodding to his answer while the rest are not saying anything but seem to agree with him as well.

Jeongin glances down at the lower deck to where the girls are gathered and indeed, they're all beautiful. The girls are all beautiful in their own way and have their own distinct charms so he can't tell who he fancies the most only from their looks.

JEONGIN: It's hard having to try and choose between five girls right now so I'm not going on a chase yet, I'd rather see who approaches me.

The sea is so blue, so vast that it goes as far as his eyes can see.

Jeongin enjoys the view from the front of the boat with the wind blowing his shirt away and sending his dark hair flying, making it a mess that he has to brush it to the back.

He's not aware that someone is there until he's standing next to him.

"Hi," the girl says.

With the surface of the water reflecting the sunlight at him, he has to squint his eyes to see who it is. It's the brunette girl with hazel eyes, Linda.

"Oh, hi," he greets back.

"How are you?" She asks while holding all of her hair on one shoulder.

"Good. How are you?" Jeongin asks back, liking the shape of her body which is lean yet toned in the right places.

"Better now," she answers with a bright smile.

Linda then looks out at the view and inhales the salty air, then lets out a delightful sigh.

"Beautiful isn't it?" She says.

"Yeah," Jeongin also sighs as he takes in the picturesque view.

Then Linda turns her body to the side facing him with a smile that slightly turns into a flirty one, "Then how about me?"

It takes no genius that she's fishing a compliment out of him so he gives it to her, "I think you're beautiful."

Linda's smile grows wider on her small face, she brings her hand close to her mouth and tugs a finger between her teeth, looking at him with wild glints in her eyes.

After a moment, she speaks again, "I feel like we've got a vibe going on, yeah?"

It's only been a moment so Jeongin can't decide if he should agree with what she said but to be polite, he lightly nods at that.

"What is your type?" She asks.

Whenever someone asks him that, he gets confused. He does have a few things he's looking for in someone but it's always changing from time to time.

"I don't have too much of a type," Jeongin answers.

"Okay, so anything that breathes, huh?" Linda jokingly says with a low laugh.

"In that case, I ticked it off the box," she jokes again.

Jeongin laughs along with her. He has to admit that she does have a sense of humor, not too much, just perfect.

She leans in closer and lowers his voice, "I've got a secret," she mutters.

That gets him intrigued and somehow, he follows suit and lowers his voice as he asks, "Yeah? What's that?"

"You're probably my number one to share a bed with tonight," she says, putting shyness into her flirty smile and it somehow works on her.

She bites on her finger again and sheepishly asks, "What do you think?"

"Sharing a bed with you would be nice," he sweetly says.

"You want to share a bed with me?" Linda asks with her eyes wide and hopeful, telling him to say yes.

It was only a moment ago that Jeongin decided not to choose anyone yet but Linda makes him falter a little that he has to remind himself about his initial plan.

"Let's see," Jeongin settles on a vague answer.

Not hard to tell that Linda doesn't like the answer Jeongin gave from the way her eyes dim even though her smile remains wide and bright.

The sound of the water splashing shatters the silence and Jeongin looks to the side of the boat to see that Kurt has just jumped into the sea for a swim.

"I think I'll join them," Linda says while fixing the straps of her bikini.

She walks away to go to the back of the boat and stops after a few steps to look over her shoulder to ask Jeongin, "Are you coming?"

"I'll catch up later," he says.

JEONGIN: Linda is flirty and sweet. We had a good chat, there's a potential there but I want to see how this unfolds.

Instead of swimming in the sea, Jeongin goes to the upper deck and gets into the jacuzzi that has been set to keep the water warm at all times.

The rose petals are bubbling along with the water as he leans back and enjoys the pleasant afternoon. It hasn't sunk in yet that he'll probably be having these kinds of days for the next three weeks.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Someone asks.

Jeongin snaps his head in the direction of the voice and finds Justine there. Girls are coming to him one by one, he should consider this his lucky day.

"Not at all," he responds.

Justine ties her long blonde hair into a messy ponytail before slowly getting herself into the tub and sitting next to him, sending the water level rising but not enough to slosh out of the tub.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles at him, "You know as soon as I saw you coming, I just know that you're the one I'd go for," she says.

Justine doesn't even bother to small talk first and Jeongin likes the directness in that since he's a very straightforward person.

"I get that feeling that we're going to match well," she adds.

Jeongin doesn't know how to answer that. A part of him wants to entertain that idea but another part of him doesn't want to give her false hope so he ends up responding with a smile.

"I like that you're a bit shy," she says with a giggle.

And that sends Jeongin's hand touching his ear, a habit he does whenever he gets shy.

Justine plays with the petals by scooping them in her hand, "Do you like blondes?"

"Not really, actually," Jeongin says, again, he's a very straightforward person.

Thankfully, Justine takes it well and uses it to her advantage, "Well, you're to love blondes after this."

Justine knows how attractive she is and how to use it as a weapon, every little thing she does is indeed attractive.

But Jeongin firmly stands his ground, "You're going to have to persuade me," he says with a half smirk.

Justine licks her lips and brightly smiles, "It's not much persuading, really."

Her boldness amuses him so much that Jeongin cracks a sonorous laugh.

JEONGIN: Justine is oozing with confidence and I dig that.

The ripples on the water tell Jeongin that Justine may have subtly moved closer and he's right, he finds her sitting close next to him in the tub.

Once the laughs die down, Justine tilts her head to the side and seductively asks, "Okay, maybe I can persuade you a little bit," she mutters.

He knows what would happen if he turns his head to the side but something in him tells him to do it and his intrusive thought always wins.

The moment he turns his head, Justine grabs his chin to hold him still so she can pleasantly leans in for a kiss. Once she captures his lips, she moves her hand to the nape of his neck as she keeps kissing him.

Jeongin needs a second to calibrate himself into the kiss as Justine keeps his tongue busy by twirling it with hers. He places his hand on her neck and that way, he can angle her head as he pleases and deepen the kiss.

There's nothing but the smooching sound and the sound of the water bubbling in the tub. For a moment, Jeongin lets himself immersed in the kiss then slowly pulls away after sensing that Justine is running out of breath.

As expected, Justine gasps for air the moment he lets go. She's letting out a chuckle and he guesses it's out of triumph.

"Was it a good persuading?" She asks

"Not bad, yeah," Jeongin plays it cool when it's in fact, a really good kiss and he has to look away to resist the urge to go for another.

Justine wades the water around her with her hand, "So what's the bed situation for tonight?"

It seems like he comes close to a decision but he wants to keep it for later because who knows? Maybe someone else will come his way and change his mind.

"Tonight, you'll know," he tells her.

"I think I know the answer already," she says with a triumphant smile.

JEONGIN: Somehow I pulled off getting two out of five girls to want to sleep on my bed and deciding on one is hard [chuckles] but there's no harm in that, right? [Raises eyebrow]

It's going to be the first party tonight.

If there's one thing that Jeongin takes seriously, it's his fashion. He doesn't just put on something together, he's dressed to impress.

It's not even about the fact that there'll be a new single tonight but that's just how he is. He likes building an outfit and puts so much effort into doing it.

He chooses dark jeans and a printed shirt as the top, he has his hair pushed to the back and leaves a few strands falling over his forehead. Not forgetting to decorate his hands with metal rings that flatter his skin tone and highlight his long fingers.

And now, he's ready to step into the night.

The captain leads the group down a path right after the boat docked not far away, carrying a torch as a source of light. He takes us to a backyard of what looks like a villa but it's too dark to know for sure.

"I promised you the holiday of a lifetime so welcome to your first beach party!" The captain says as he takes the steps as his center stage.

Everyone is looking their best and excitedly cheering in response to him.

"Let's get it started!" The captain shouts, pointing to the beach where the fireworks go off and light up the sky.

The next thing he knows, everyone is partying. The music is blasting, there are fire dancers, and drinks are being passed around and constantly refilled.

Everyone is having fun and getting frisky while at it, especially for Damon and Bianca who share a passionate kiss in between dances.

The captain takes center stage once again and he guesses it's time for the new single revelation.

"Great party, right?" He asks with a wide grin on his bearded face.

Everyone is replying with various answers but they all agree that it is a great party and it's just one of many.

"What do you say we make it even better?" The captain asks.

"Yes!" Courtney enthusiastically shouts from next to him.

"This is going to blow your mind. It's time to introduce you to a new, hot sexy single!"

The captain slowly retreats from where he stands as the place goes dark and Jeongin only notices it now that the dancers are already leaving.

It suddenly turns dark and a spotlight appears on a curtain, heightening everyone's anticipation to see the new single entering the show.

When the curtain finally drops, there's no one there but a cone on top of a small table.

"No!!!" Courtney aggressively shouts out of spite.

"No! I came here for dick!" Bianca screams, almost hysterical with both hands holding the sides of her head.

The party turns into a frenzy while Jeongin is scratching his head, and doesn't understand why everyone starts breaking down over what looks like an air freshener to him.

JEONGIN: The new, sexy hot single is a cone. A cone?!

"Hello, everyone."

It's when the cone starts talking that Jeongin knows it's not an air freshener but he's still confused why everyone is groaning in complaint.

"I am Lana. Love Overboard has hit the rocks and you're now washed up on Too Hot To Handle."

Jeongin is still oblivious to the fact that the show has changed to what he believes is still a dating show only that it has changed its name.

"I didn't sign up for this," Kurt cries, fisting his hair in distress.

Then Jeongin sees that Damon has dropped to his knees, crying. He taps on his shoulder to check, "Are you crying?"

But Damon is too bust pulling at his hair to even answer his question.

"You all have been selected because meaningless flings mean more to you than genuine relationships," the cone continues talking.

"The fuck?" Mick curses, offended.

Francoise clicks her tongue and coyly shrugs, "Who cares about emotional relationships?"

"Since your arrival, I have been gathering data on your behavior."

Justine snorts and flips her hair, "I hope you like what you saw, Lana!"

Jeongin hopes everyone else quiets down so he can hear the rest of what the cone has to say so he knows how to properly react to it.

"But from now on, you must adhere to my retreat rules."

So it's not a dating show? It's a retreat? And there are rules? Jeongin doesn't remember them saying something about it when he signed the contract.

"No kissing."

"What's going on?" Bianca meekly says, rubbing her temple erratically.

"No self-gratification."

"What's that?" Jeongin asks with a perplexed look on his face.

Keith who happens to standing nearby answers the question for him "No rubbing one out, mate," he says along with a hand gesture for a visual aid.

"That's lowkey sick," Jeongin blurts out.

Not allowed to touch his own body part? What kind of rules is that?

"That's not even funny," Kurt comments with an exasperated sigh.

But everyone hasn't heard the worst of it all.

"And no sex of any kind," Lana delivers the last rule they have to follow in the retreat.

"Is that even healthy?" Kurt comments again, completely flabbergasted.

JEONGIN: Can we... unplug her or something?

Jeongin gets it now why everyone is simultaneously going on a mental breakdown.

This summer isn't what he expected it to be, one where he imagined he would meet and mingle with attractive people and you know, get lucky.

Then the cone comes and shatters his dreams with those rules. Now he's going into a meltdown on his own.

"As a reward for the progress you make, I have allocated a prize of $200,000," Lana announces.

Everyone else is happily exclaiming at the announcement of the sum of money they would win out of this show.

"Two hundred racks, bro!" Damon grins and his tears seem to have magically dried at the mention of money.

"That's a lot of money," Kurt comments, also reacting differently once he hears of the prize money.

On the other hand, the information isn't enough to console him. He is still reeling from the harsh reality that this is not the summer that he dreamed of.

"Welcome to my retreat and Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer!" Lana finishes.

JEONGIN: The money is tempting but breaking rules is so fun, you know [smirks]

As everyone is doing a tour around the villa, Jeongin couldn’t help but think that it’s unfair for Lana to gather a group of hot singles, and make everyone live together in a gorgeous villa only to be told that they can’t do sexual things.

The swimming pool, the hot tub, the firepit… All these cool places and he is not allowed to kiss anyone anywhere. This is so fucking unfair. He should have followed the captain and boarded the boat to get him home.

However, the captain is right about one thing though. There are only five beds in the bedroom and there are ten people, so everyone needs to find a bedmate.

Jeongin randomly chooses a bed and dives right onto it, feeling how bouncy and comfortable it is as he lies on it. These fucking beds and no one is allowed to fuck on it, so fucking- Fuck!

He completely forgot about the bed situation and that he has not yet decided on who he wants to share the bed with which explains why Linda keeps glancing his way from the bed across his. He then slowly turns his head to find the blonde-haired girl and as expected, Justine is uneasily looking his way too.

Jeongin puts his hands behind his head and starts thinking. He can usually solve it by keeping both girls happy but he can’t do that here, right? He has to decide on one.

JEONGIN: I have to pick one out of two great girls. What am I going to do?

Justine and Linda, they’re both physically appealing to him so it has to come down to who will get along well with him.

Jeongin is touching his ear as he recalls the interactions he had with those two girls to help him decide. Linda has a good chat and a sense of humor, she’s someone he can have night talks with. On the other hand, Justine is fun and confident, she’s someone who won’t mind doing mischief with him or worse, leads him to temptations.

In conclusion, Linda is the safest choice for him, not that he doesn’t want to rule break with her but she’s the type that avoids rule-breaking instead of encouraging it.

But does Jeongin want to play safe? Like… what’s the fun in that? Jeongin thinks that he has come to a verdict.

“Hey, Justine,” he calls for her.

Justine seems to have expected him to call her name and looks over her shoulder to look at him, “Yes?”

“What are you doing there?” he asks her.

He then pats the space next to him on the bed and says, “Your bed is here.”

“Okay,” Justine triumphantly smiles, not wasting time to get on his bed, and crawls over to sit next to him.

Jeongin secretly peers over to Linda who’s looking rather disappointed that he didn’t choose her. In all honesty, he has his reasons for choosing Justine but he believes Linda wouldn’t want to hear it.

“I think she’s upset,” Jeongin lowly mutters at Justine.

Justine looks around the room to see who he talked about, “Who?”

He covers his mouth so no one can read his lips as he says, “Linda.”

Justine doesn’t look right away but when she finally does, she nods in agreement.

In another part of the room, the battle for Francoise has been won by Kurt as she chose him as her bedmate and Keith has to share the bed with Linda. Everyone might as well call it the bed of the defeated.

JEONGIN: I mean, I don’t mind taking Linda in my bed too if she is keen to join us [Chuckles]

Jeongin is still forcing his eyes to open when the cone lights up and chimes in the middle of the room.

"Good morning, everyone."

"Morning, Lana," Justine croaks from next to him, clutching the duvet to her chest.

Everyone else is still as sleepy with their bare faces and eyes heavy with sleep. Definitely, not in the mood to hear Lana as as the first thing to hear after they wake up.

"The goal of my retreat is to teach you how to form deep and meaningful relationships. To do that, you have to be able to put the needs of others before your own. Especially when you are horny."

Okay, Jeongin gets it. Breaking the rules means that not only does he lose money but also means, he chooses to act selfishly on the group.

"Good luck," Lana concludes her morning greeting.

Well, last night was overwhelming and Jeongin was too tired to even do anything. He fell asleep almost immediately as Justine snuggled up to him.

"Respectfully, I hate that fucking cone, bro," Kurt states from the bed at the other end of the room.

Mick drinks from his water tumbler, then observes everyone with his piercing, brown eyes.

"Got a question though," he says, putting away his tumbler on the bedside table, "Did anyone break a rule?"

It seems like Mick has just voluntarily become the chief and making sure everyone is adhering to the retreat rules.

He takes a look around the room and sees everyone's faces one by one. He puts more suspicion on couples who are a little more established.

"Kurt?" Mick asks.

Kurt shrugs his question away and Francoise confirms it with a verbal answer, "Nah."

Mick shifts his suspicion onto the next person, "Jeongin?

Jeongin calmly brushes his hair to the back, "I literally fell asleep when Justine and I were still talking," he shares.

Justine is nodding next to him because she knows that it's true, "Last night with Lana... that was intense," she adds.

Mick moves to the next on his suspicion list, eyeing the bed across from him which is Damon and Bianca's bed.

"Damon?"

"Nothing," Bianca speaks for both of them.

Jeongin wouldn't believe these people right away and he knows a lying face when he sees one. One or two of these people are lying to the group but he won't play the saint as well.

It's still early to tell that he won't stumble and break any rules.

JEONGIN: I share a bed with Justine and there’s a sexual tension there but honestly, it’s just too early to be hated by a group of people [chuckles]

The boys are already cooling down when Jeongin gets to the beach to work out.

Kurt is lying down with his beads of sweat glistening under the pale morning sun while Keith is still doing some lifting and then there's Mick who sits on the mat, brushing his damp hair to the back.

"You guys are already done?" Jeongin asks as he starts stretching his body.

"Uh-huh," Kurt answers while panting.

Mick wipes his sweaty face and turns to sit facing everyone, "I really want us to listen to what Lana is saying. Does anybody else agree? Or am I alone on this?" He suddenly asks a critical question.

Without looking at him, Kurt talks with his eyes closed and hands folded on his abdomen, "I just don’t see how you can make a connection without physical touches. That’s impossible."

"You can cuddle," Keith says in between his grunts of labor.

"Oh yeah, but sometimes that’s not enough," Kurt hits back then peers over at Keith.

Jeongin thinks that Keith is secretly not wanting anything to happen between Kurt and Francoise but Kurt is quick enough to see his intention.

"What’s the longest you went without having sex or you know, getting off?" Mick casually asks like he didn't just ask when is the last time anyone rubs one out.

Kurt purses his lips as he thinks, "Uhm... Like a week?"

Mick surely doesn't expect to hear that answer and Jeongin personally could do a month without a release, especially with money at stake.

But there are hot girls in the equation here and that's what makes it hard to solve.

"If you think about it, you can connect with someone without sex," Mick says.

Instead of giving Mick's wisdom words seep in, Kurt immediately shoots it down with his pessimism.

"I don’t know, man."

Keith puts down his dumbbells and wipes the sweat on his forehead with his t-shirt, "It’s a great idea but uh…" he seems to doubt Mick's words as well.

Jeongin steps in to be the one accepting Mick's words even though he also doubts that's how it works.

"We’ll see where this goes," he says with a pat on Mick's shoulder.

JEONGIN: Justine and I have got a bit of a naughty vibe going on. I'm afraid it's just a matter of time before we break the rules.

Justine notices that Jeongin has just showered when he enters the dressing room.

She's done doing her makeup and offers to dry his hair for him. Jeongin doesn't see any harm in that so he sits on her chair and lets her do it.

"I'm a makeup artist, I'm good at this," she convinces for the last time, then turns on the hair dryer.

The constant humming of the hairdryer fills the space and while Justine is doing what she does best, Jeongin observes the makeup tools scattered on the vanity right in front of him.

He picks them up one by one and guesses what their use is, when in doubt, he shows it to Justine and asks, "It's an eyelash curler, isn't it?"

Justine looks at him through the rectangular mirror, "Yes."

He continues his exploration through Justine's makeup pouch and takes out the one that interests him. He opens a tube but instead of a cap, he finds a wand with a spoolie at the end of it.

"Is it for eyelashes? Mascara, isn't it?"

Justine turns off the hairdryer and uses a hairbrush next, "No, that's for the eyebrows."

He notices the difference between the two, the one for the eyebrows has a smaller spoolie.

Done brushing his hair, Justine gives the back of his head a quick ruffle to add volume. She then takes a moment to appreciate her work.

"You have soft, fine hair," she compliments.

When she looks at him, she notices that Jeongin is very much intrigued by her makeup. She lightly chuckles and takes it from him.

"This is how you use it," she says, demonstrating how to use it.

To get a closer look, Justine slightly bends down as she applies something to his eyebrows while Jeongin can only watch through the mirror.

"It needs a trim," she mutters as she moves to the other eyebrow.

Justine then jams the wand back into the tube and looks at him to check on his work. She wipes the excess with his thumb.

"Hey, hey, hey!

Mick's jarring voice startles Justine so that she accidentally pokes Jeongin's under eyes with her long nails.

"What are you guys doing?"

Justine sucks air through her teeth and spins around on her feet, "We're doing nothing," she innocently answers.

Mick stands at the end of the long vanity table and props his hands on it, "This is my money you're playing with," he says, already taking ownership of the prize money.

"I promise you, we were just talking," Jeongin assures him while checking himself in the mirror for what Justine did to his eyebrows and he likes it.

Mick purses his lips in doubt and drops his head to the side, "I want to know if I can trust you," he says.

Justine grabs his hand and takes it for a handshake, "You can trust us," she says.

"Okay," Mick says as he shakes her hand, signifying that he chooses to trust her.

That seems to work to convince him but not enough to keep his laser eyes away from both of you.

"I'm watching y'all," he says as he walks backward to the doorway.

After Mick left, Justine plops onto the chair next to his and picks up a hairbrush to comb her hair with.

"We shook on it but I was like... fuck it," she says with a giggle.

She is what he expects her to be, a girl who thinks that the rules are meant to be broken and it's low-key hot, but also a bit threatening. Jeongin is not ready for the repercussions.

"If we break the rules, we would have the whole team against us," he says, reminding Justine that everyone is going to be pissed about it.

She abruptly stops combining her hair as if she just came to her senses. She then looks at him and cracks a smile, "You’re the good one out of the two of us," she says.

And Jeongin e can't tell if she means it in a good way or a bad way.

JEONGIN: If it were up to Justine, we would break rules already but I don’t want to be the first.

Before the dressing room gets crowded with everyone getting ready for the night, Jeongin hurriedly goes to the bedroom once he's done dressing up.

Damon is also there, lying on his bed and drinking wine. To pass the time, Jeongin casually chats with him, and in the midst of it, the cone chimes.

Jeongin's head snaps toward the source of the sound, "Damon and Jeongin," Lana calls their names.

Jeongin presses his lips together into a thin line and exchanges a panic glance with Damon.

"Yes, Lana?" Damon asks with his wine glass hanging mid-air.

"Can you please gather everyone in the cabana?" Lana requests.

Jeongin gets up from his bed without saying anything and goes straight to the dressing room to tell everyone. From the sheer shock on their faces, he senses that someone has messed up.

"Anyone have any ideas why we’re here?" Mick says, putting on his detective hat the first thing everyone settles on their seats.

"Could be Lana going to throw another party for us?" Linda wildly guesses with an innocent look on her face.

Mick doesn't take that answer and squints his small eyes as he asks the important question, "Did someone break the rules?"

The silence that passes answers his question and he sighs, disappointed that the group chooses to hide their lies instead of owning up to it immediately.

"Let’s just hear what Lana says," Keith says.

Keith's words summon her, the cone chimes not long after, and instead of her usual greeting, she goes straight into the business.

"This morning I asked you all to start putting the needs of the group ahead of your own. It seems that my request fell on deaf ears."

Even though she talks in the same robotic voice, everyone knows that she's upset that someone is indeed fucked up.

"Oh, shit! She’s pissed," Kurt says, making it clear to everyone.

Mick gets serious this time, clasping his hands together and dropping them between his legs, he asks again, "Did anyone break the rules?"

The silence answers his question again and he lets out a heavy sigh, not accepting the fact that they choose to remain silent when Lana clearly said that someone has broken the rules.

JEONGIN: Everyone is just lying at each other’s faces [shakes head]

"Jeongn and Justine?" Mick glares at him.

Jeongin can calmly deny his allegation and say, "No."

"You sure? A hundred percent?" Mick asks again.

Justine nods at him and answers it for him, "You can move on and ask someone else."

Mick goes to the next person who sits on the smaller sofa on the side of the room, "Francoise and Kurt?"

They remain quiet and then Francoise starts to scratch her neck, silently gulping air and constantly avoiding everyone's eyes. Everything she does gives away the answer.

"This is the time to fess up," Mick says, either trying to press on them or encourage them.

"We uh... we..." Kurt is blabbering, he's looking anywhere but not the people he's talking to.

"I'm going to be honest, we did a little kiss," Francoise calmly says.

Both Mick and Keith drop their heads onto their hands but it's for two different reasons. Mick is obviously devastated about the money while Keith is well, he just lost another battle against Kurt.

"I needed a goodnight kiss then we fell asleep after so..." she explains.

"Yeah, right," Keith lowly mutters out of spite.

"And I'm going to have to be honest again," Francoise is not finished with her confession yet.

"Oh... fuck!" Linda breathlessly gasps with her hand rubbing her temple.

"We also had another kiss down the beach," Francoise admits another sin.

Everyone is exclaiming, not expecting that this posh girl who always looks calm and collected is breaking rules left and right.

"You had two kisses and it's only day one?" Justine says but instead of sounding like she's scolding her, Jeongin catches a hint of jealousy in her voice.

Mick is left speechless that he can only turn his head side to side like he's watching a tennis match but in this case, Francoise and Kurt are playing with his money instead of a tennis ball.

"Francoise and Kurt, under normal circumstances, each kiss would cost $3,000. Unfortunately, these are not normal circumstances," Lana announces another bad news.

Mick's eyes widen in horror at the mention of how much money they could have lost and it's going to cost a lot more worse than that.

"Earlier today when I asked you all to put the needs of the group before your own, I implemented a covert test."

Linda dramatically gasps, then immediately shut her mouth with her hands.

"Unfortunately, you have failed this test. Furthermore, all fines have been doubled."

"Unbelievable..." Mick sighs into his hands.

It's bad news after bad news and Jeongin should be relieved that he's not a part of the cause but it doesn't make him feel better either.

"Any rules that have been broken since arriving at my retreat will now cost the group twice as much," Lana furtherly informs.

"Wow!" Jeongin's eyes widen in surprise.

"That’s a big chunk of money," Linda innocently comments.

"Francoise and Kurt, your two rule breaks have cost the group $12,000."

Lana drops another bad news right away, not giving everyone a moment to recover from the previous ones.

JEONGIN: It's just... brutal [sighs]

"Regrettably, the other couple has been more selfish," Lana spoils that there's another rule breaks no one knows of.

This has been overwhelming for everyone and Linda may have run out of patience with anyone who keeps quiet about their rule breaks.

"If you have any respect, you'll be honest with us," she says, a little upset that she gets to suffer from someone else's actions.

"Can anyone please tell the truth!" Mick desperately begs, having no other way how to get anyone to admit to their wrongdoings.

"It's us," Damon finally comes forward, "we kissed in the firepit earlier."

Mick has nothing else to say but to hear how much money has been lost to another reckless behavior.

"Your rule break has cost the group a further $6,000," Lana informs.

Jeongin calculates it roughly in his head and if everyone keeps this reckless behavior for the next three weeks, nothing will be left in the pot.

"We’re going to be broke," he mutters to Keith who sits next to him.

"The prize fund now stands at $182,000," Lana updates.

JEONGIN: Now, I'm so glad that I wasn't the first to break the rules.

Mick can't hide his disappointment even when it's bedtime. He gets on the bed and tucks himself in, he keeps his head turned away from everyone.

"Oh, I’m so mad," he says, not holding back in letting everyone know that.

Justine cringes in horror at Jeongin while everyone else stays quiet the whole night, unlike the previous night when everyone loudly chatted to each other until the lights turned out.

It's like the temperature in the room drops a few degrees after that reveal in the cabana and drops a few more when the lights are off.

But that is when Jeongin feels most alarmed because things could happen in the dark.

Justine's hand slides across his chest and then she rests it on his shoulder where he can feel the tip of her sharp nails on his skin.

"Your skin is so soft," she compliments with a smile that could be heard as she rests her head close to his.

"So is yours," he compliments back.

Based on profession, there's no doubt Justine knows how to take care of her body well. Her skin is smooth, her hair is soft and she always smells good. There's no denying that she is beautiful and she could easily tempt him when she wants to.

As his thoughts are busy wandering, Justine places her hand on his jaw and starts caressing his cheek. It's the way that her fingers inching closer to his lips that makes his heart rate elevates.

"Don't you think that we'll eventually rule break?" She asks out of the blue.

Jeongin has the same thought as well but after what happened tonight and how everyone reacted to rule breaks, he has second thoughts about committing one.

"Yeah, but I think now is not the right time," he simply refuses.

"Fair enough," she says.

A moment later, Justine's face is hovering inches away above him. She stares right into his eyes long enough that Jeongin can see the naughty intent behind her eyes.

She then leans in and Jeongin has his hands ready to push her away when he needs to. But Justine goes for his cheek and places a soft kiss on it.

"Goodnight," she mutters once she pulls away then lays back on her side of the bed.

JEONGIN: Why am I here? How the fuck I ended up in Too Hot To Handle? [clicks tongue]

A couple of days have passed uneventfully.

Everyone is still reeling from the fines that have been doubled thus making them more cautious around each other.

Jeongin thinks that it's only a matter of time before someone breaks the rules again.

You can take the player out of a game but you can't take the game out of a player, that's just how it is.

For Jeongin personally, he doesn't have any problems following the rules, except when Justine starts doing something. However, she has been behaving well and maybe she's doing her own thing but he doesn't want to look too much into it.

There's someone else that has been giving him the eyes lately. After Jeongin chose Justine over her, he thought that Linda had already gotten over him but apparently, she's not.

He reckons it's probably because he hasn't broken the rules with Justine yet and that makes Linda think she still has another chance with him.

That's not entirely wrong though, Jeongin isn't going to close on a chance of getting to know someone else.

"Hi. You okay?" Linda asks, appearing from inside the villa and joining him on the terrace.

"I'm okay," he answers, brushing his damp hair from showering, "you?"

Linda sits on the wooden chair next to his and puts her legs up with her body facing him, "I think I'm good."

Jeongin smiles hearing her cute giggle at the end of her answer, she offers different charms than the other girls here.

"I like your dimples," she says, tugging her finger between her teeth again.

"Thank you," Jeongin mutters his gratitude with a smile.

Linda holds his gaze and says, "It's one of the many things I like about you."

Jeongin's hand flies to his ear, touching it as he leans back on his chair and tries not to look into Linda's eyes because they're rather dangerous.

"What was it?" She asks, dangling her legs on the armrest of the chair.

"What did you say the uhm... your favorite feature on me?"

Jeongin has to rake his brain to remember that day, he remembers looking at Linda's breasts when he said a totally different thing.

"Your eyes," he finally answers with a sheer doubt.

"People normally say it's my boobs," Linda says with a crisp laugh.

Now that she said it, Jeongin's eyes automatically flick down at her cleavage and quickly look away.

"They're alright," he coyly says, trying to remain calm even though he knows Linda caught him looking at it.

"You haven't looked, have you?" She jokingly says, putting all of her hair to the back.

"Nah, it's the first time I looked," he jokes back.

Without looking, Jeongin knows that he's profusely blushing and his ears are reddening, his hand comes to the rescue, rubbing it to give him a sense of ease

On the other hand, Linda is enjoying every second of it.

"About you and Justine," she carefully says.

"Are you guys like in a thing or...?"

Linda's eyes are small and warm brown, however, the way she looks at him is piercing like daggers. Jeongin knows that the conversation will eventually get to this.

"We're still getting to know each other but we're also doing our own thing... I'm not stopping her from getting to know anyone," Jeongin answers.

"But do you think it has the potential to be a relationship or more like... friendship-ish type of thing to you?" She asks, biting her finger again.

"Well, uhm..." Jeongin has no answer to that yet, he's been grasping things around Justine and is not sure what he wants to do with it yet.

"I don't know, honestly. I just don't want to rule out any possibilities yet," he adds.

Linda nods and bites her lower lip, "Have you ever thought that you have more potential with someone else?"

"Could be," he coyly says.

She props a hand under her chin and looks at him with a soft gaze, "How about with me?"

Jeongin cracks a smile, not expecting Linda will be this bold. Somehow, he likes this use of subtle aggressiveness.

"We'll see..." Jeongin keeps his cool and stares back into her eyes as he says it.

"Well, you'll see," Linda says.

JEONGIN: Linda, Linda, Linda... she's being all cute and flirty, trying to make my head turn.

Linda's game doesn't just end there.

In the dressing room while everyone is getting ready for the night, she puts on a dress and checks herself in the mirror, then all of a sudden turns to him and asks.

"How do I look?"

Jeongin has to check for the people around him, thinking that she is talking to someone else.

"Uh... good," he shortly answers.

"Just good?" Linda asks again.

She's so bold for doing it in front of everyone. Worse is Justine is in the room too and Jeongin keeps actively telling his brain not to look her way.

Linda takes a step closer toward him and spins around on her feet, "Do you like the dress or should I put on a different one?"

The whole room suddenly turns quiet when it is full of chatter a while ago and he feels pressured with all the attention he's getting.

"No, I like this one. It looks good on you," Jeongin says, wanting to end this exchange.

"I trust you," Linda says, walking back to the mirror to fix her hair.

Jeongin continues buttoning his shirt facing his closet to avoid everyone's eyes.

That little stunt Linda pulled in the dressing room seems to make Justine need to mark her territory. She brings him a drink and corners him on the sofa in the cabana.

"I like this shirt on you," she says, softening him with a compliment.

"Thanks," Jeongin sheepishly says, sensing that she's going to ask about him and Linda.

"How are you feeling tonight?" She asks, then sips her drink.

"I'm feeling good," he answers but that would imply that he talked about the thing that happened with Linda.

"I guess," he quickly adds, then gulps his wine.

He swallows it quickly, not wanting to give Justine a chance to talk about it, "You?"

Justine smiles and taps her glass of wine with her long nails, "I feel good. I feel like kissing someone tonight," she says with a sonorous laugh.

Oh, fuck.

Remember when he said it's only about time that he and Justine break a rule? Well, this is it.

She inches closer to him and puts her leg over his lap, "I know we both want to explore things here..."

She props her hand against the sofa and tilts her head to the side as she looks at him, letting a moment pass in silence to build tension.

"But if there's one person I want to break rules with..."

Justine drags her nails down his arm, sending a shudder down his spine then leans in to whisper, "It's with you,"

Deep down, he knows the bad in him wants to come out and play.

"What do you think?" Her voice drops lower than before.

All sorts of thoughts fill his head and most of them are going against him. It costs $6,000. Lana will be pissed. The group is going to kill him for it. What if he craves it more?

He keeps considering Justine's offer until he runs out of excuses to not kiss her and his thoughts favor his desire.

"I guess a kiss won't hurt," he mutters to her.

"Promise, it won't hurt," Justine says, before crashing her lips against him.

It's the second time they kiss but it feels different now that there are rules that forbid it which makes it oddly satisfying. There's just something about breaking the rules that makes him feel so damn alive.

Justine gets it and that's why she's smiling when she lets go of the kiss, leaving Jeongin's lips tainted with her lipstick which she hurriedly wipes with her hand.

"See? It doesn't hurt," she says.

JEONGIN: I know everyone is going to be mad about it but I-I don't regret it. Not for a bit, to be honest [laughs]

Jeongin and Justine know how to keep their poker face on the whole night.

Damon almost caught them earlier but thankfully, they manage to make him not suspect anything and so does everyone even until it's bedtime.

"Guys, we've been good these past few days," Mick says to everyone in the room.

"So we're allowed to kiss now?" Damon jokes.

"Man..." Mick sighs, patting his pillow before resting on it, "I'm saying that you guys should keep it that way,"

With the lack of answers, Jeongin can tell that not everyone agrees with the idea, especially him. He exchanges a knowing glance with Justine.

"Better not be any rule breaks tonight, got it?" Mick warns with a glare.

If there's anything Mick shouldn't say to a bunch of rulebreakers, that is exactly it. Tell them to not do it only makes them want to do it more.

That notion seems to be right with, again, no obvious answers but low, weak mutters just to get the conversation over with.

The bedroom turns dark not long after and Justine scoots closer to him until her head rests next to his.

"It's best that we don't tell them," she whispers.

Jeongin agrees. He sees no benefit of being honest to them other than potentially getting crucified by them so it's a hard pass for him.

"I think so too," he says to her.

Justine lowly chuckles, "We shouldn't say anything until the last minute," she suggests.

He nods at that, "No one says anything."

Justine takes his hand and has him link his pinky finger around her for a pinky promise.

"That's a promise," she says and to his surprise, kisses interlinked fingers.

Somehow that night, Jeongin falls asleep at ease.

JEONGIN: I feel guilty about last night. I know everyone is going to hate us but Justine and I decided to not say anything about our rule break.

In the morning, no one still suspected anything.

Maybe the only one that does is Mick, his hawk eyes are scanning everyone's faces even though he's barely awake yet.

"I have a boner for like... 80% of the day," Damon suddenly shares a fact no one even asks.

Bianca chuckles at that while untangling her braided dark hair.

"When you get a boner, your blood rushes to your dick and if it goes for too long, it takes away the blood from your brain," Damon explains.

Everyone doubts that's how it works but they're laughing at his unconfirmed theory, including Jeongin with Justine clinging to his arm and her head resting against it.

Jeongin's eyes somehow wander to bed opposite him, seeing Linda looking not pleased seeing him with Justine which makes him abruptly stop opening his mouth completely.

The day continues and he knows he's only counting down to the time until Lana finally calls everyone to the cabana.

When the call comes, he isn't ready and he believes, so is everyone.

"This is not good," Keith mutters as he adjusts the waistband of his swimming trunks.

"It's too early for this shit," Damon grumbles behind him.

Everyone is taking heavy steps to the cabana, knowing that good things never happened there and today is one of those, that Jeongin knows for sure.

"What do you think Lana wants?" Kurt asks.

Courtney throws all of her hair to the side, "I have a feeling she's not going to be nice to us today," she says.

Jeongin nervously gulps air because Courtney is right.

JEONGIN: This is not good [scratches head] I'm absolutely shitting myself.

To avoid suspicion, he chooses to sit separately from Justine and when the chime comes, he immediately puts his poker face on.

"Despite doubling the fines, I regret to inform you there have been further breaches," Lana announces right away.

It's always a bad sign when Lana skips the formality and goes straight to the rule-breaking announcement.

"Oh, my days!" Keith shortly responds.

Jeongin pretends to act surprised, parting his mouth open in perfect O shape then rubs his chin in wonder. His eyes wander to where Justine sits and he sees the opposite reaction on her, she looks slightly excited for it.

"Breaches?" Francoise points out that this means that there's more than one rule break.

"Y'all need a stricter regime," Mick says with an angry sigh.

However, that doesn't make Jeongin feel relieved, he's still fear of what's going down in a few minutes.

"Does anybody want to get anything off their chest?" Keith asks.

JEONGIN: It's definitely not the time I want to tell everyone that I fucked up.

Despite his calm expression, Jeongin's heart is racing inside his chest. Is it too much of him to ask everyone for a little bit of understanding that for there to be a connection, there has to be a little physical thing?

"Who broke the rule?" Mick asks again.

It's at the tip of his tongue, he wants to get them out as soon as possible but something keeps holding him back. He takes a deep breathe to muster up the courage to say—

"Bianca, what's with your face?" Courtney and her observant eyes.

Biance starts turning her head side to side, propping a hand under her chin then looks at Damon.

"I have to be honest," she says.

"Oh!" Mick shouts in disappointment, holding his head in distress.

"It was last night. It was romantic. It just happened... we kissed," Bianca admits, then turns to Damon, asking him to add something to it.

"I think that was one of the most valuable rule breaks," Damon says.

Surprisingly, everyone takes that well. There's no shouting, no silently cursing and there's not even a glare aimed toward them.

"I think that you guys are building a connection. I think you guys deserve it," Francoise says.

"Your kiss costs the group $6,000," Lana informs.

JEONGIN: Wait... what is going on? This is not the reaction that I thought they were going to get.

Jeongin doesn't expect that to happen so maybe if he admits his rule break like Bianca and Damon did, everyone is going to take it well too, right?

Right???

"So who else broke the rule?" Mick asks again.

This is the time, if he waits until Mick asks again, that'll only earn him the opposite reaction from what he wants.

"Justine and I kissed last night," he says in one breath.

And guess what? Everyone is groaning at that. He looks at Justine to seek some help here through his eyes.

"It just happens, you know," Justine says, not really a strong defense.

"How much money have we lost? Does anybody know?" Mick starts to lose his shit again.

Jeongin's hand flew to cover his eyes, not wanting to see this and also disappointed that everyone reacted differently to him when it was only his first rule break.

"A kiss is harmless," Justine casually says which only angers everyone more with her blatant ignorance of the rules.

"Oh, my God!" Mick shouts in disbelief.

"Why did we get a different reaction from them?" Justine asks the important question here.

"Because we know what Damon and Bianca got going on is solid," Mick explains.

Everyone seems to agree with his answer but Jeongin still can't accept the unfair treatment.

"Thanks, guys," Bianca thanked everyone with a smile.

"Jeongin and Justine, your rule break has cost the group a further $6,000," Lana informs again.

There comes the groans again but despite that, he's not going to waste his energy by holding a grudge over it.

"The prize fund now stands at $176,000."

In the end, everyone is as disappointed to hear how much money they have lost.

"Thanks, Lana," Courtney mutters.

Everyone is getting up from their seats thinking that Lana has done talking when she chimes again and everyone stops moving.

"I haven't finished."

JEONGIN: Oh, what now? [Groans] Seriously?

Everyone is getting nervous once again as they wait for what Lana is going to say and they believe it's yet another bad news.

"It's time to establish how committed to each other you really are by sending some of you on dates..." Lana announces.

"Who's going on a date?" Bianca asks with a blushed cheek, secretly wishing that it's her and Damon.

Jeongin can't say if he and Justine are categorized as a couple yet but he'd love to get on a date, the others start to think that maybe it's good news this time.

"...with new arrivals."

Everyone is exclaiming all at once and this time, Jeongin doesn't even have to pretend to be surprised, he is genuinely surprised to hear that there'll be new guests in the villa.

"Our new arrivals are already aware they're on Too Hot To Handle."

Jeongin notices that not everyone is pleased by this, Bianca and Francoise are not accepting it well from their lack of enthusiasm.

"I have given the new arrival a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples," Lana further announces.

"It's a curveball y'all," Kurt excitedly says while rubbing his hands together.

Jeongin could feel Justine's eyes boring a hole in between his eyes at the newly shared announcement and the possibility that he could get chosen for this.

"She has selected..."

Despite Justine's reaction, is it wrong of Jeongin to want to be picked for the date? He suddenly feels like meeting new people since he plans to keep exploring his choices.

"Jeongin."

He manifests it so hard that it becomes true but he reminds himself to keep calm about it even though he feels excited to meet the new girl before anyone else.

JEONGIN: I mean... the timing is impeccable [Grins]

"The other new arrival also has been given a choice of dating one of the girls currently in couples," Lana continues.

It's the girls' turn to get excited and Jeongin has no problem if Justine gets picked, that way he wouldn't feel bad about going on a date with the new girl.

"He has selected..."

Justine taps Courtney's knee, hinting that it's probably her chance even though she won't be selected because she's not in a couple.

It's either her, Justine, or Bianca.

"Bianca."

"Thank fuck for that," Kurt lowly mutters, grateful that the new guy doesn't choose Francoise.

"This really is about testing the waters, huh?" Linda says, being the only one enjoying this.

Well, Jeongin feels a sense of relief that he's not as established as Damon and Bianca because, for them, it could be a test to see how genuine their connection is.

"Jeongin and Bianca, please go and get ready for your dates," Lana orders.

Jeongin lets Bianca lead the way to the villa and goes straight to the dressing room to get ready.

Bianca plops down on her usual spot on the vanity table and reclines on her chair, "This is crazy..." she sighs.

He goes to his closet to pick something to wear, this is a date so he's definitely putting an extra effort to build his outfit.

"I'm having a date and it's not with Damon," Bianca sighs again.

Jeongin starts by picking a shirt from the ones he brought, pondering whether he's going for a plain shirt or with prints.

Bianca turns her head to look at Jeongin, then asks, "Do you think your head will be turned?"

That stops him from whatever he's doing, he turns to look back at her and answers, "I don't think I'll be tempted..."

Then he settles on a decision to wear a plain white ribbed shirt and takes it out of the hanger, "Unless she's a gorgeous girl with beautiful eyes," he suddenly adds.

Bianca laughs because she thinks Jeongin is confident about staying loyal to Justine until she hears the rest of his sentence.

"Eyes are your weaknesses, huh?" She asks.

"Yes."

"Well, we'll see," Bianca says, starting to do her make-up as she speaks.

And Jeongin can't wait to find out what you look like.

LANA: I have given our new arrivals one free kiss to use on their dates. They think I'm just being generous, but in reality, I want to see how Jeongin and Bianca, who are both in relationships, react if offered a fine-free kiss.

The date takes place somewhere quite far from the villa.

Jeongin part ways with Bianca when they get to the beach as she goes in the opposite direction and he has to walk the rest of the distance by himself. The staff has prepared a picnic with its classic checkered picnic mat and a basket of what he can safely assume is filled with food.

Being the first one to get there, he sits down and leisurely waits for the new girl by looking at the view from this part of the island he has never been to.

Jeongin gets more nervous the longer he waits for the new girl to come. When you do finally come, he's getting even more nervous that he can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears.

You gracefully wave your hand at him to announce your arrival, looking an absolute lush in a white bikini and a see-through skirt that does nothing to cover your body but floats around your hips as the wind blows your way.

Jeongin gets up and prepares himself to welcome you, putting on a smile that is way too easy to conjure. You are only a few steps away but he already likes what he's seeing.

"Hello," you softly say, introducing your name as you exchange a quick cheek-to-cheek.

"Jeongin," he introduces himself back with a smile that matches the excitement bubbling inside him.

With the afternoon sun hits you right in the eyes, they appear wide and bright, and Jeongin believes those eyes are going to get him in danger.

JEONGIN: Lana brought out my dream girl to test me. Fuck!

"This place is amazing," you delightfully say as you stare out at the sea with the sun slowly sinking into the horizon.

Jeongin is busy filling the glasses with a cocktail mix and tries not to spill a drop. But he knows exactly what you're talking about, he's been living here for a few days and never gets tired of the view.

"Oh, it's paradise," he adds.

He hands one of the drinks to you and without anyone initiating it, you both clink your glasses together for a toast.

"Cheers!" You both mutter in unison.

It's when he has swallowed his drink, he finds your eyes on him again and since you already caught him staring, he may as well use the opportunity to admire your face. There's no denying that you're beautiful but the eyes... he can't stop staring into them.

"You have beautiful eyes," you say, as if you heard his thought and say it out loud for him.

He sheepishly smiles and brushes his hair to the back, "So do you. You're uh... really pretty," he shyly compliments back.

You tuck your hair behind your ear and smack your lips together before talking, "As soon as I flicked past your photo, I was like, yeah, that one," you share with a mix of shy and seductive smiles.

Jeongin's hand flies to his ear and he hopes that they're not turning red from these compliments. He looks away to calm himself down but continues talking, "Really? What is your type?"

"Like you," you answer without a beat.

When Jeongin looks at you again, your eyes automatically lock in a gaze, "I like pretty, bad boys like you."

This time, Jeongin is sure that his ears are reddening and his cheeks are also heating.

"What's your type?" You ask back, sipping your cocktail after.

"I don't have a type," he starts to find it hard to think, "Even if there is, it's always changing."

"Then how about now? What's your type?" You ask, playing with the mini umbrella in your drink and eyes that are doing things to his heart.

Are you really asking? Or do you want him to tell you that he has found his type just now?

"Beautiful eyes, uh... great smiles, good chat," he stutters his words, knowing that he has just described you. He then quickly sips his drink to help clear his throat.

You lightly chuckle then make this gesture with your index finger, drawing a ticking mark in the air as you say, "Tick, tick, tick."

JEONGIN: I'm really enjoying getting to know her even though she's so tempting.

The way you sit on your side with a hand propped against the mat, Jeongin can see every curve of your body, the ascents and descents, and gosh, he likes what he sees.

"You've got a great body," he blurts out and at this point, he just can't control his brain from saying things without filtering it first.

Surprisingly, you take it well and with a smile, "Thanks."

You sit straighter to show him your form and put all of your hair to the back, "I worked hard on it."

"Yeah?" Jeongin asks in wonder.

But you seem to take it as a doubtful response from him and you get up, kneeling on the mat to remove the thin skirt wrapped around your hips.

"It's all natural," you confirm, running your hands down the side of your body.

If he were in some cartoons, Jeongin's eyes would be popped out of their sockets at the sight of your body. It evokes something in him that makes his throat suddenly dry.

You sit back down on the mat and pick up your drink, "Let's make it fair," you say.

Jeongin gulps air to be able to speak, "huh?"

"I'd like to see you with your shirt off," you say, a naughty smile dancing on your pretty face.

He has no problems showing you his body, he worked hard on it too but he doesn't want to spoil it to you right away.

"You'll see it off," he teases, surprised that he's still got game in him despite his brain barely functioning.

"Okay," you simply say, then bring your glass close to your lips but not drinking it.

Just so you know, Jeongin also has a thirst for something else.

JEONGIN: She has all of my attention. I'm just not thinking about anything else.

Jeongin takes the food out of the picnic basket and lays it out on the side of the mat, a bowl of sliced fruits while the other bowl is filled with melted chocolate.

"Why are you sitting so far away from me?" You ask, pointing out the big space between the two of you.

Even in this distance, he can feel the heat and the tension between the two of you. He doesn't want to know what would it feel like to be in such proximity with you.

"Come closer! I don’t bite," you cutely whine, putting a cushion to where you want him to be.

"Okay, maybe, just a little?" You add a joke and a giggle.

Jeongin relents, he scoots closer to you yet maintains a safe space in between. He watches as you open the bowl of sliced fruits and take out a piece, dipping it in the chocolate before feeding it to him.

He hurriedly leans closer and opens his mouth for you, he manages to eat it alright but the chocolate drips onto the corner of his mouth.

"You like to get messy, do you?" He jokingly says, cluelessly wiping around the mouth.

"Yes, I do," you confidently answer.

You're quick to offer your help to clean it for him, wipe it with your thumb, and not hesitate to lick it clean after.

He then takes his turn to pick up a slice of fruit and dips it into the chocolate, he carefully brings it close to your mouth. You hold his wrist to keep his hand steady as you take it into your mouth and keep holding his hand to clean the chocolate coating his finger.

It does something to him seeing you taking his finger into your mouth and also feels how hot and wet the inside of your mouth is.

"Mmh... yum," you delightfully hum as you pull his finger out of you.

JEONGIN: The longer this date goes on, the more I can't resist her.

There's so much sexual chemistry here and it's getting heavy that Jeongin doesn't know how long he can go on, you are literally too hot to handle.

Your hand reaches for his face, using only your fingertips to trail his jawline, and then rest your hand on his thigh. The two of you are staring into each other’s eyes but he can tell that your minds are thinking the same things.

"Kiss me," you say out of the blue.

As if making his head feel like a scrambled egg isn't enough for you. He can't remember if Lana has briefed you on what kind of show you're in and that you ask him to do something he's not allowed to do.

"You do know it's Too Hot To Handle, right?" He asks with his brows furrowed, feeling bad if the answer is no but he's more afraid to know the answer is yes.

"I do know," you tell him, your hand inching closer to the hem of his swimming trunk.

The tension is getting unbearable and Jeongin feels like it's weighing down his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.

"Lana told me that I get a free kiss without getting fined," you explain, tipping your head to the side while your fingers are lightly caressing his inner thigh.

His brain is close to short-circuit yet he tries so hard to think straight and what would happen if he does certain things with you.

"I do want to," he says.

A smile rises on your face and your eyes light up the second you hear his answer.

Jeongin doesn't want to see those glints in your eyes disappear when he tells you about Justine but he doesn't want to hide it from you either.

"It's just like... there's a girl inside there," he says, not giving you the detailed information.

That doesn't seem to stop you as your eyes remain wide and bright as you tip your head to the other side and hold his gaze, "Is she special to you?"

Special? Jeongin isn't sure about that so he settles on a safe answer, "It's only been a few days so I can't really tell."

You smack your lips together again, tantalizing him with how plump and soft they look to him.

"I don't see the damage in it. If anything, we'll know if there's sparks between us," you give such a strong argument to him.

It takes every bone in his body not to try and kiss you right this very second. He may have said Justine is not that special but kissing another girl behind her back... that's not how he wants it to go.

"Come on," you tease, leaning closer to his face.

His heart leaps when you place a soft kiss on his cheek and rub the lipstick mark after.

"I know you want it," you lowly mutter, teasing him more with your sultry voice.

He doesn't know if you notice but his body is slightly shaking from constantly resisting the urge to fill his desire to kiss you and his hands are gripping the picnic mat to not get them anywhere close to you.

"I do want to kiss you," he breathlessly says as if it takes all of him to admit that.

You smile in satisfaction, leaning in to land another soft kiss on his jaw to give him a taste of your lips. Your lips linger close to his ear to sweetly whisper, "Come on, Jeongin."

JEONGIN: I am so tempted. I don't know what to do [Exhales]

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