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deamsgirl · 1 year

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Current WIPs and Drafts

So, I got the idea to organize and list out my current WIPs and drafts by @lmaoirrelevant's recent post in the hopes that it will jumpstart the creative juices for some of them. And because I have an obscene amount of drafts, apparently, and they need constant wrangling. If you'd like, you can let me know if there are any projects on the list that you really want to see updated/finished! It might give me extra motivation to just buckle down and work through it. A big thanks to @lmaoirrelevant for letting me borrow the idea! If you haven't read any of their fabulous fics, you should go remedy that ASAP! They're wonderful!

This one is literally just for my pokemon fic because I have so much of it. I may do a separate one for my other fandoms or section this out later.

Currently Posted WIPs:

Entropy – Goh/Ash/Gary, Red/Blue. Goh is sucked into another alternate dimension, except this one is so different from his own dimension that it’s unnerving. Like how one of his husbands doesn’t seem to know him at all and the other has supposedly been dead for over a decade. Thanks a lot, Palkia.

Brush Off that (Cold) Shoulder – Goh/Gary/Ash. The one where Goh has an ill-advised drunken tryst with Gary Oak—the jackass professor who just brutally shot down Goh’s request for an internship at Oak Laboratory. Oh, and the adorably earnest guy who keeps insisting on making Goh breakfast the morning after? He’s none other than Gary’s famous Pokemon Champion husband, Ash Ketchum. Goh is… understandably confused. And never trusting Dawn or her stupidly-strong cocktails ever again.

Pandarus – Goh/Gary/Ash. Ash and Goh have always worried about Gary's apparent disinterest in dating. With their own wedding just weeks away, they decide to help their long-time friend find his special someone too. Honestly, they don't understand why Gary's so pissed about it. Or why their other friends keep calling them assholes. AKA the one where Gary's been pining after his two dumbass friends for years and Ash and Goh are way more oblivious than anyone thinks.

Ribbons and Arrows – Goh/Gary/Ash. Chloe’s Eevee evolves into a sylveon, whose powers supposedly include knowing when and with whom someone is in love. The problem is, Goh would rather it not broadcast to the whole world that he’s stupidly, hopelessly in love with his two best friends.

Misty’s Toll-Free Hotline for Pining Gay Idiots – Ash/Gary. In which Misty unwittingly becomes Gary’s emotional support person regarding his big gay crush on Ash, and she’s honestly kind of fed up with them both.

Currently in My Drafts:

Regency AU – Ash/Gary. Lord Gary has a mountain of expectations to live up to. He’s to inherit his grandfather's dukedom, marry a woman of proper birth, and produce an heir. Too bad he’s falling hopelessly in love with his stableman, Ash.

Vampire AU – Ash/Gary. Gary comes from a long line of vampire hunters. Ruthless and efficient, he’s never let a mark get away. That is, until he’s tasked with taking down Ash—a seeming walking disaster of an undead that Gary is trying very hard to not find endearing.

Truth Serum – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary is hit by a blast of psychic energy and suffers a rather… unique side effect. Namely, that he can’t stop telling the truth. Which is… totally fine. It’s not like he’s harboring any deep, dark secrets, like being hopelessly in love with his two best friends. …Right?

Distraction – Misty/May. It’s hard to have a secret crush on someone who spends 90% of their time in a bikini. Or, May has Feelings or something, and Misty obliviously makes her life incredibly difficult.

Pokemon AU Part 3 – Ash/Gary. AtLA. No one expects Ash—Oak’s worst student (who is weirdly prone to accidentally electrocuting people)—to be the Avatar. Unfortunately, a heated spar with his insufferable classmate Gary blows his cover rather spectacularly.

Ghost AU – Red/Blue. Red is the stone-faced ghost haunting Blue's new apartment. But he's only, like, concerned with reminding Blue to goddamn eat once in a while (something with vitamins, preferably). Blue keeps finding snacks on his person that he knows he didn't put there. He's not amused once he figures out who is doing it.

Kidfic 1 – Ash/Gary. Ash regularly comes home with all sorts of strays. Gary just never expected him to turn up with an actual, human baby.

Kidfic 2 – Ash/Gary/Goh. Elana Ketchum-Oak and her three embarrassing dads. And don’t get her started on her legion of (equally embarrassing) aunts and uncles. Although, she supposes Uncle Tracey isn’t too terrible (just don’t tell Papa).

Handmade – Blue/Red. No one knows that Blue only wears necklaces because Red keeps making them for him.

Rebound – Ethan/Silver. Somehow, Silver becomes Ethan’s go-to Emotional Support Rival to comfort him through his pile of failed relationships. Silver’s annoyed, because he’s busy and doesn’t have time for Ethan’s sentimentality and absolutely no other reason, stop making assumptions, Blue.

Pokemon Masters ficlet – Blue/Red. Ash and Red both seem to realize that they’re alternate versions of each other—a fact that they’re determined to keep under wraps. Too bad they’re forgetting about Blue’s uncanny ability to recognize Red (a talent that apparently extends to Reds from other dimensions as well). Now, if he could just figure out why Ash keeps calling him Gary, of all things…

Rivalry Sequel – Ash/Gary/Goh. The grad students at the Vermillion Institute finally get to go on their first research expedition, and with Professors Oak and Albright as the leads. Unfortunately for them, they realize all too quickly why everyone keeps gifting them ear plugs.

Sickness – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary gets sick while Ash is away, leaving Goh to keep an eye on him. AKA Gary doesn’t deal well with idleness, and Goh is saddled with the worst patient ever.

Proposal – Red/Blue. The tale of the night Blue proposes. Irredeemable fluff and nothing more.

“The Way Men Love” – Ash/Gary. After his parents’ death, little Gary Oak decides that he’ll never be helpless to keep someone he loves safe ever again. And then he meets Ash, who attracts trouble like a damn magnet, and realizes that sometimes the only way to protect someone is to make sure they’re strong enough to protect themselves.

Cuddling – Silver/Ethan. Ethan has no concept of personal space—a fact that is slowly but surely driving Silver insane.

21st – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary is tasked with picking up Goh from the bar when the latter drinks too much on his 21st birthday. He assumes he’s the absolute last person Goh wants to see on his birthday (judging by his usual reactions to Gary’s presence), so he’s more than a little surprised with how excited Goh is when he shows up.

Couch – Red/Blue/Ethan. Ethan thinks Red and Blue’s couch is intolerably uncomfortable, but their only solution seems to be dragging him into their bed every time he visits, which Ethan is, like, 90% sure is Really Weird (even if he kind of likes it).

In a Hole – Red/Blue. Blue and Red get stuck in a literal hole in the ground. They have plenty of time to work out their feelings for each other while they wait for someone to rescue them. Too bad they’re both emotionally constipated idiots.

72 Hours – Ash/Gary/Goh. When someone attacks Oak Laboratory, Gary gets trapped in the collapsed building. His only hope for survival is waiting for someone to rescue him. Except he was supposed to be on his way to a conference in Sinnoh, not indulging an Ash mega-fan with her first pokemon, so there's a good chance no one will even realize he’s missing until it’s too late. Add in the fact that whoever attacked the lab is going on a deliberate spree of targeting other research facilities, and his odds look even bleaker. But, if there’s one thing Gary’s good at, it’s surviving.

Homing Beacon – Silver/Ethan. Ethan always seems to know where Silver is. Because they’re rivals, obviously. It’s not like he’s stalking him or anything (Silver disagrees).

Surrogate Dad – Silver/Ethan, Red/Blue. An annoying joke about Blue being Silver’s adoptive dad escalates, because Blue can never do anything halfway. Red is ambivalent about his new parenthood status, and Ethan lives in perpetual fear of Blue’s wrath if he messes up his relationship with Silver. Silver is… well, Silver’s surrounded by idiots, so he’s tired, okay?

Praise – Ash/Gary/Goh. Goh finds out Gary has a bit of a praise kink. He’s pretty sure he shouldn’t be devoting as much time to thinking about it as he is.

Alola – Ash/Gary. Gary’s research takes him to Alola, which would be amazing if not for the fact that Ash apparently talked about him so much during his time there that half the region now thinks they’re dating.

Mt. Silver - Red/Blue/Ethan. Love grows slowly for some people, unnoticed until it’s too late to do anything but give in to it.

Good god, there’s actually more, but I have to sort through them because I have a nasty habit of not naming my Google Docs. So, when I wade through the 500 different “Untitled Document”s, I’ll probably update this.

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theresthesnitch · 1 year

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I don’t know if there’s a word for it but I’m dealing with harsh productivity guilt right now. I’ve got three fics and a novel I’m working on and I just feel so stuck with all of them. I also lost my rabbit recently and that I should give myself space to grieve but had all these things I wanted to do over the holidays and no energy to do that.

Anyways, sorry for the bummer ask but I just wanted to set this down somewhere

Friend, I'm so sorry you are struggling.

Send me an ask about anything or nothing.

First, I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so hard, but this time of year just seems to make that weigh heavier. I am sending you all the love and condolences I can muster.

Productivity fatigue is a bitch. It's so frustrating when you want to write and just can't. However, I've found that when I try to force myself to write a story that isn't working, I end up hating whatever I produce.

I wouldn't be too quick to write off not writing as not being productive though. Sometimes I'll get stuck on a story, and as I think through it for a few days, something will finally click that makes it work. Maybe you're waiting for that click, but thinking about your writing is part of the writing process, and you're making progress!

I recommend doing something–anything–else. Read a book or a fic, especially if there's one close to what you want to write. (I know there are mixed opinions on this, but I find that reading good fics makes me want to write more, but my way.) Watch television. Catch up on the gossip (and drop it in my ask box because it's anon ask hour and I love some tea). Take a nap. Make holiday cookies! Most of all, give yourself some space to grieve and feel, because bottling it up doesn't work well.

If you want to try to force writing, here's some suggestions for jumpstarting writing:

Write something adjacent to your fics/book. Have your characters write letters to each other or write a diary. Have one of your characters explain the plot from their POV (this works best in first person). These will both force you to get in your character's head more than just trying to push through the fic. Or, write a deleted scene! Did your character have dinner with their parents, or an off screen conversation?

Alternatively, write up a goofy character fact sheet. What is your character's favorite food? What on their grocery list? What was on their Christmas/Birthday wish list when they were five? Anything to get you thinking about the character.

Is there a scene in the future you can't stop thinking about? Write it now. Writing out of order is so liberating. You can keep or change it as necessary later.

Run sprints on Discord. There's something about competition, even against myself, that really makes writing easier. If I'm stuck in my head, I like to start with a 5 minute sprint. (Sprinto will do one under the prompt "sprint quick".) A five minute sprint is so short that you have to force yourself to focus, and at the end of 5 minutes, I find myself more into my writing than I was before.

Write something else. I know this is rich coming from someone with 30ish WIPs, but sometimes you just have to write something that gets the creative juices going. Find a short prompt, or write a single scene, or just write some headcanons!

Hope this helps, and I hope you find productivity again.

#snitch answers asks #anon ask hour

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loveandloathingart-blog · 9 months

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How Do I Find Inspiration To Paint Images? Or, What Is My Process To Get Going

Now and then, when I let anyone get close enough to me in-person to ask me a question about creating artwork, there is one common one that constantly pops up. Drumroll…

Do you experience some sort of divine inspiration where an idea pops into your head or do you focus on reference materials before you sketch out a concept and develop a painting?

Often, I find that the curious wonder if I see strange signs or images from passing clouds, an arrangement of random items on the street, or other visual stimuli that jumpstart my creative juices to concoct my latest painting, sketch or drawing.

Others think I have to rely on reaching an altered state of consciousness with the help of alcohol, drugs, or extreme deprivation to find my muse.

The honest answer is that it’s a little bit of inspiration from everyday moments and ordinary things, and a bit of using reference materials. I’m constantly on the hunt for images and ideas I can add to my personal “visual library.”

Funny exchanges between loved ones, witnessing an event unfold on the street, the smell of delicious food wafting through the air, the right music, and everyday moments do and can inspire me when coming up with new ideas.

However, the tried-and-true approach for me is to gather reference materials and look to other artists and how they compose and execute their work. I love pouring over imagery on sites like Pinterest, Instagram, and conducting searches for imagery that match specific eras, aesthetics, moods, and the like.

Nothing new is under the sun. And as someone who makes paintings, I resent the idea that in order to make art you have to be drunk, high, eccentric, or divinely inspired. The practice of making artwork and utilizing trained skills with various mediums, learning foundational principles, and recognizing and respecting the past and tradition while balancing it with a forward vision for the future is vital to my school of thought and success.

I thrive on the challenge to create various iterations with no end in sight. There is always another way to manipulate, shift, and recompose a subject and then render it physically. And as always, I love painting on paper, whether it is using ink or acrylic paint.

#artistontumblr #girlart #girlartist #indieartist #emergingartist #artofess22 #ess22 #ess22painting #painting on paper #art on paper #art process #artist problems #artist ideas #artist concepts #know your why #illustrative art #emotive art #figurative art

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fyapoetry · 1 month

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AI Poetry Generators: New Insights Into Whether They Are Killing Creativity

AI poetry generators

AI writing a poem AI poetry generators, analyzing vast amounts of existing works, are producing original poems in various styles, reflecting a growing trend of AI-generated content in literature. This post explores their potential, challenges and limitations, creative writing impact, and exciting future possibilities. Let's get straight to some eye-opening discoveries.

Key takeaways

- You will have a greater understanding of AI poetry generators - You will learn some of the key benefits of AI-generated poems: - You will learn about some of the challenges and limitations of AI poem generators. - You will learn about future developments and possibilities of AI poetry generators.

Understanding AI Poetry Generators

AI poetry generators are computer programs that use natural language processing (NLP) and machine learning algorithms to analyze vast amounts of existing poetry. They learn the patterns and structures of language used in poems and then use this knowledge to generate new and original text. This field has grown significantly since the rise of deep learning and advanced neural networks. Some say these generators allow AI to produce more sophisticated and nuanced poems that better capture the essence of human language.

Benefits of AI-Generated Poems

AI poetry generators are not all doom and gloom; they can offer surprising advantages for both aspiring and experienced writers. Here are some positives of using AI to generate poems or poetry ideas: - Boost Creativity: By experimenting with different prompts and styles, AI can spark new ideas and help overcome creative blocks. - Fresh Perspectives: AI can analyze vast amounts of text and generate poems that explore unexpected themes and phrasing, potentially leading to new poetic territory. - Breakthrough Writer's Block: AI can jumpstart the creative process by providing prompts or initial lines, helping writers overcome obstacles and get those creative juices flowing again.

Challenges and Limitations AI Poem Generators

AI-generated poems present a fascinating new frontier in creative expression, but it's not without its challenges and limitations: - Ethical Considerations: AI raises questions about authorship and originality. Who gets credit for a poem generated by AI? Can AI be truly creative? - Emotional Resonance: AI can struggle to capture the subtleties of human emotion and cultural context that are central to powerful poetry. - Nuance and Coherence: AI sometimes struggles to produce consistently coherent and meaningful text, especially in longer poems.

Examples and Case Studies

AI poetry generation is a rapidly evolving field with several tools and applications emerging to contribute to the literary world: - Poem Analysis Tools: Some AI programs, like Hix’s Poem Summary & Analysis Generator and StudyCorgi’s Free Poem Analysis Tool, can analyze existing poems, identify themes and literary devices, and provide summaries—useful for students and readers alike. - Generative Poetry Tools: Tools like those offered by TopApps allow users to choose styles or provide keywords to generate original poems. These can be springboards for creative writing or interesting starting points for new work. It's important to remember that AI-generated poems can vary significantly in quality. However, as technology advances, AI may play an increasingly important role in literary analysis and even the creation of new and innovative forms of poetry. While there is no single definitive example of an AI-written poem achieving mainstream recognition, researchers are continually developing new tools and exploring AI's potential in the creative sphere.

Samples of AI-Generated Poems

As part of my experimentation, I used three popular AI poetry generators to write a poem on the same topic, Why I Love Mother Nature. The three AI models used were Worhero, ChatGPT 3.5, and Gemini. Below are the prompts used and the outputs from those generators. - WordHero Genrated Poem: - The Prompt Used in WordHero: This was the prompt used to generate the poem from WordHero:

AI-Generated Poem prompt The Generated Poem: Why I Love Mother Nature-Generated by WordHero In the soft whisper of the breeze, Mother Nature's gentle touch I seize, With colors vibrant and skies so blue, I find in her embrace a love so true. Her songs of birds and rustling leaves, Bring me peace, my soul she cleaves, In her beauty, I find my pleasure, Oh, how I cherish Mother Nature's treasure. - ChatGPT 3.5 Generated Poem: - The Prompt Used in ChatGPT 3.5:

ChatGPT 3.5 AI-generated Poem Prompt The Generated Poem: Why I Love Mother Nature-Generated by ChatGPT 3.5 🗒️ Answer In forests deep, where sunlight dances , And rivers flow with gentle romances. Mountains stand tall, in silent grace , Underneath, life's vibrant embrace. The sky above, a canvas of dreams , Painted with hues, in endless streams. Whispers of wind, carry songs untold , Connecting hearts, in nature's stronghold. In every leaf, a story to share , Each petal a promise, in the morning air. For in Mother Nature's arms, I find solace , A sanctuary of peace, where love's embrace. - Gemini Generated Poem - The Prompt Used in WordHero:

Gemini Poem Prompt The Generated Poem: Why I Love Mother Nature-Generated by Gemini The mountains high, the oceans deep, The forests green, where creatures leap. A calming breeze, a starry night, Mother Nature, a wondrous sight . Her beauty fills me with such glee, From tiny seeds to towering tree. A world to explore, wild and free, Mother Nature, my love for thee.

analyzing the poems generated

Stanzas: One of the first things that stands out for me is the format of the outputs. They are all created with four-line stanzas with ChatGPT 3.5 being slightly different with three instead of two stanzas like WordHero and Gemini. Rhyming: All of the outputs have that end rhyming scheme that makes the pieces very mechanical after a while. In some instances, the rhyming scheme is forced without any consideration for the message in the piece. Imagery and Message: The imagery used is in line with the title of the poem and the message is also consistent. The outputs from each generator stuck with the theme of the poem. References Sources: ChatGPT 3.5 and Gemini provided their sources of references, while WordHero did not. For some, this might be helpful information to assist with further research while editing the piece.

My Concluding Thoughts

Overall I find all the output lacks that human touch and genuine emotions you will get from someone who feels deeply about the topic they are writing about. The four-lined stanza is a dead giveaway to anyone who experiments with AI poetry generators and this is why I do not like nor use them. However, if you are struggling to come up with ideas, you can still use them as sources of inspiration and experimentation. After all, to paraphrase E.H. Gombrich (Art and Illusion), all art owes more to other art than it owes to direct observation. NOTE: Please feel free to share your thoughts on what you think about the quality of the outputs based on the topic given in the comment section

The Future of AI in Poetry

AI is poised to impact the world of poetry significantly in the coming years. Here are some potential developments: - Enhanced Creativity: AI models will generate more nuanced and original poems, potentially blurring the lines between human and machine creativity. - Democratization of Poetry: AI tools like Bard AI could make poetry creation more accessible, allowing people without extensive writing experience to express themselves creatively. - Inspiration and Exploration: AI can serve as an inspirational tool for human poets, generating new ideas, styles, and themes to explore. AI poetry is still under development, but it holds tremendous potential to revolutionize the way poetry is created, experienced, and shared.

Final Thoughts on AI Poetry Generators

AI poem generators are a flourishing development at the intersection of technology and creativity. These tools offer a range of functionalities, from sparking new ideas for experienced poets to helping people with no prior writing experience express themselves creatively. Whether you're a seasoned poet or just beginning to explore your creative side, there's an AI poem generator out there for you. So why not give them a try and see what kind of inspiration they spark?

References:

- Gunter, Jeroen. “How AI Content Creation Is Shaping the Future of Creative Writing.” Contentoo, 22 Jan. 2024, contentoo.com/blog/ai-content-creation-is-shaping-creative-writing. - Hetler, Amanda. “Pros and Cons of AI-generated Content.” WhatIs, 21 Sept. 2023, www.techtarget.com/whatis/feature/Pros-and-cons-of-AI-generated-content. - Pandya, Marmik. “NLP Based Poetry Analysis and Generation.” ResearchGate, 12 Dec. 2016, https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.35878.73285. - The Art and Science of AI-Generated Poetry| AIEpics Blog. aiepics.com/blog/AI_Poems. - “10 Reasons Why Using a Poem Generator Can Boost Your Creativity.” PoemGenerator.com, 2 May 2023, www.poemgenerator.com/blog/10-reasons-why-using-a-poem-generator-can-boost-your-creativity. - Benson, Tom. “Understanding the Limitations of AI in Content Creation - Spines.” Spines, 28 Jan. 2024, booxai.com/understanding-the-limitations-of-ai-in-content-creation. - “Poem Summary and Analysis Generator: Free & Custom | HIX.AI.” HIX.AI, hix.ai/summarizer/poem-summary. - “Free Poem Analysis Tool: Online Generator for Students.” StudyCorgi, 14 July 2023, studycorgi.com/free-writing-tools/poem-analysis-generator. - Jones, Lianne. “AI Poem Generator: What Is It, Review, and AI Use Cases.” TopApps.Ai, 24 Jan. 2024, topapps.ai/blog/ai-poem-generator. - Shalevska, Elena, and Ma. “The Digital Laureate: Examining AI-Generated Poetry.” ResearchGate, 1 Aug. 2024, www.researchgate.net/publication/378461120_The_Digital_Laureate_Examining_AI-Generated_Poetry. - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344431853_Artificial_intelligence_versus_Maya_Angelou_Experimental_evidence_that_people_cannot_differentiate_AI-generated_from_human-written_poetry - Ai, Claude. “Best Claude AI Poe - Claude Ai.” Claude Ai, 15 Nov. 2023, claudeai.uk/claude-ai-poe. - Soft, Fli. Exploring the Capabilities and Implications of Google’s Bard AI. 3 May 2023, www.linkedin.com/pulse/exploring-capabilities-implications-googles-bard-ai-fli-soft. - Flood, Alison. “‘A Box of Light’: AI Inspired by British Verse Attempts to Write Poetry.” The Guardian, 20 Mar. 2021, www.theguardian.com/books/2021/mar/20/a-box-of-light-ai-inspired-by-british-verse-attempts-to-write-poetry. Read the full article

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joheunsaram · 3 years

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To Make A Power Couple - 02 (knj)

Chapter 2 - Pizza and Life Chats

THIS IS A REPOST SINCE I LOST ACCESS TO MY OLD ACCOUNT. PLEASE FOLLOW THIS BLOG FOR UPDATES ON THIS SERIES.

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Summary- Namjoon and Y/N go on their first date, and Namjoon is whipped.

word count- 5k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- pg13 for now

genre- series, fluff, eventual smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- mentions of hangovers and panic attacks, tooth-rottingly fluffy

a.n- okay here’s the second part! I wrote this up fairly quickly (don’t expect this to be the norm!). This part I wanted to kind of address the stress of overworking as a young adult (GUILTY 🙋🏻‍♀️) so sorry if it gets a little serious at parts. I also wanted to switch it up so it’s from Namjoon’s perspective. I hope you enjoy it. SOFT JOON BEING A BIG OLD SOFTY.

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut

Namjoon woke up startled as his phone alarm rang. He was groggy and his splitting headache made him nauseous. “I’m never going to drink again”, he mumbled. He groaned as he got off the couch he had crashed on the night before, trying not to trip over Taehyung who seemed to be dozing happily on the floor as he made his way to his room. He hadn’t stayed at the dorms in a while, preferring the quiet solitary of his own apartment nowadays, and with his hangover in full swing he felt like he was walking through a stranger’s house.

Last month was hell. He had procrastinated on his songs and none of the vocal guides were even halfway done before the due date. Every time he tried to finish a song a new one would pop up in his head and he would start on that, leading to a hard drive full of files labelled “finish soon” and “draft”, and a notebook full of scratched out scribbles. It was like his brain had decided to abandon him, deciding it had had enough of his perpetual melancholy. He had felt drained and burnt out, a husk with no creative juices left. Luckily, Yoongi and a few of the producers had taken pity on his stressed out state and lent a hand so he had been able to finish the bare minimum three days ago - before the label pressured him further. He was never more grateful for a small break.

In all honesty, he needed a way to jumpstart his brain, and get out of the routine of home, practice, meetings, studio, home. Sometimes, he almost wished he didn’t have the success he had so he could go out and let loose a little - a club, a party, anything. But the last time he went somewhere like that he got swarmed and the police had to be involved. He couldn’t risk that, not after the trouble Big Hit went to threaten media outlets a year and a half ago, when he was caught with what they called a hickey, but was actually a stress rash.

As he brushed his teeth today, however, he smiled at the mirror. Last month may have been terrible, but last night was one of the best he’d had in the past year.

When he had heard Bang PD’s team talk about how they were attending the charity gala as he met them for notes on his songs, he was intrigued. He had read about this non-profit in the paper before. They seemed to be helping bridge the gap between people through communication and that spoke to him. So much so that he had scrolled through their website multiple times, reading testimonials and almost memorizing the mission statement. They wanted to help kids learn English for free so they could communicate globally. He really liked the idea. It was hard for him to learn the language as a kid and he knew that the only reason he became as fluent as he is from the tutors his parents paid for and his obsession with American television and music. Although he didn’t need the tutoring anymore, he did enjoy talking to the in-house tutor at the company, John, from time to time and improving his skills. The fact that this company wanted to add a John to every school in Korea starting from the rural areas, made Namjoon want to meet the man behind the movement. Little did he know, he’d be meeting the girl who’d shift his idea of the ideal.

He had never been more glad to have convinced his company to let him and the boys attend an event. He had initially suggested it as a way to break the mundane before their comeback practices started and network while supporting a cause he liked. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have guessed it would have been an actual fun night leading to him nursing a headache.

He spent the next hour reliving last night as he showered and caught up on the news. He also read the messages he sent last night over a hundred times and had butterflies each time. Wasn’t he too old for butterflies? He wanted to message you again but every time he tried, he ended up overthinking it. Everything sounded forced or cheesy, and it was worse than any writer’s block. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration watching it bounce and land on the floor, before he grabbed it and pocketed it. Hopping around to get rid of his nerves, he decided to take a break from rereading the thread he already had memorized and check in with everyone. If his hangover was this bad he couldn’t imagine theirs.

Making his way back to the living room he found Taehyung now sitting on the floor, sleep still very evident on his features as he yawned and groaned. On the couch next to him sat Yoongi, holding an iced americano and staring into space. The rest were missing but he could hear a blender annoyingly whizzing in the kitchen.

“How’re you guys feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from Yoongi.

“This is why I don’t drink. Why did no one stop me?” Taehyung whined as he rose from the floor to leave, massaging his head.

“We tried. You were very excited to try all the disgustingly sweet drinks the hot bartender was making for you.” Yoongi replied with a sigh. “How was your date, Namjoon? You glad I forced you to go to the bar to talk to her?” he snickered, sipping his coffee before exhaling loudly in contentment.

“Honestly, I owe you big time. She was… amazing. I don’t think I’ve talked to someone that comfortably in a while” Namjoon sighed wistfully.

“I’ll add cupid to my resume,” he deadpanned. “Is she tolerating you for another date?”

“Yeah. We’re getting dinner on Tuesday, but I want to message her now. Argh!” He ran his hands over his face in frustration. “What do I even say? ‘Hi I’m the guy who was too scared to kiss you all night so you had to do it for him, what’s your favourite colour?’” Namjoon was annoyed at himself. It’s bad enough that he was having writer’s block in his music, did he have to have it for something as simple as texting too? This was ridiculous!

“Or you could just ask her how’s her hangover today. Jeez! Do I have to draft each of your messages? Stop being a dumbass and text the person you like.” Yoongi scoffed, clearly over Namjoon’s sudden and uncharacteristic insecurities.

Namjoon gave a resigned sigh as he reached for his phone and wrote out exactly what Yoongi suggested. Hey, he was his hyung for a reason - he had a full 6 months of life experience on him.

Namjoon: Hey! Hope your hangover is not too bad today.

As soon as the message was sent, he started getting nervous. Tapping his foot incessantly while he stared at his phone, willing it to buzz, annoying Yoongi enough to leave him alone on the couch in the process.

Y/N: Hi to you too! I actually don’t get hangovers so I’m doing great lol. What about you?

Namjoon: What do you mean you don’t get hangovers?

Y/N: I don’t know. Can’t get dehydrated if you’re always dehydrated!

Namjoon: That… makes no sense. Do I need to start reminding you to drink water?

Y/N: Only if you’re better than this app on my phone…

Namjoon: I can guarantee you I’m better than any app on this planet.

Y/N: Wow. Big claims! We’ll have to put it to the test I suppose.

Y/N: You never told me how you’re feeling. Oh and how’s Taehyung? Is he okay?

Namjoon: He’s doing fine. Made a pact to never drink again and if i’m being honest, I’m going to join him. I am shocked that your head is not exploding as well.

The messages continued easily after that, filled with updates of each other’s activities, playful flirting and even photos of dinner. By the time Monday rolled around, you had been messaging each other constantly, with no end to the conversation in sight and the only long pauses being when you were both asleep or working. It seemed like you would never run out things to talk about. Namjoon hadn’t messaged someone this frequently since he got out of his last relationship. It felt nice to relay his mundane day to day events to someone and he found himself excited to hear about your mundane, like how you decided to mix two different types of bad coffee blends to make a shockingly worse one. He was surprised again at how fast he felt comfortable around you. It was even starting to scare him a little - he only knew you for three days and it felt like he had known you forever! What was this weird spell you had on him?

The conversation Monday, however, was fairly sparse, and Namjoon was eager to set up plans for the next day, so that night he decided to call you.

After the first three rings, he was overthinking his decision. Maybe it was too soon to call? Maybe you didn’t like talking on the phone? What if it went to voicemail? Would he have to leave a message? What would he say? His inner monologue was quickly halted at the sound of your voice.

“Hello, this is Y/N” you sounded distant, almost too formal. He felt nervous.

“Hi… uh… this is Namjoon. Is this a bad time?”

“Oh Namjoon! Sorry I didn’t check who called when I picked up!” Relief washed over him at the change of your tone. “Sorry one sec can you hold on.” he heard you say as your voice got mumbled. He waited while he heard you talk to someone about proposals and deadlines. Were you still at work? He checked his watch - it was 10 pm. He didn’t know whether to be impressed by your work ethic or worried that you were overworking.

“Hi sorry about that! How are you?” He relaxed at your airy tone and smiled.

“I’m good. Are you still at work?”

“Yeah it’s only like 7 so it’s no big deal. I usually leave around 8” Were you serious?

“Y/N… It’s 10:04…” He was shocked at how nonchalant you sounded, and suddenly he had his answer - he was worried, not impressed. He had known you for three days and already you were setting his caretaker alarm off. He wanted to scold you for being careless and overworking, like he’s used to doing for the boys, but he knew it was too soon. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling that way all of a sudden and tried to suppress his protective instincts.

“No it’s not! It’s…” He could hear your voice going further away as he imagined you moving the phone in front of you to check the time. “Oh shit you’re right. What the hell? Okay sorry I’m gonna put you on hold again.” Before he could say anything he heard your voice again, distant again but loud. “Oh my god. Guys, it’s 10pm. Go home! Why did nobody tell me? No it doesn’t matter we can do that tomorrow. Please go home. Pack up now! You too Siwon, don’t worry I’ll go home after I get off the phone. See you!” He smiled at the sternness of your tone - it reminded him of a teacher dismissing class.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I overworked my team. Had to send the troops home” you laughed and Namjoon felt his heart flutter.

“I don’t wanna keep you from going home. I can call you back once you get there,” he offered. He felt bad that you were staying in an empty office on his account.

“Oh don’t worry about it. It was a lie to get Siwon off my back. I’m probably gonna be here till like 1 or something. I still have to get this done” you said matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He knew that tone fairly well, having used it multiple times himself when he locked himself in his studio, running on nothing but coffee and energy bars.

“Okay I know we’ve only just met and we have our first date tomorrow, but do you want some company?” He asked before he could stop himself. The line was silent for a bit, and he felt self conscious, scared that he had overstepped and driven you away. Before he could check his phone to see if you had hung up you spoke.

“It’d be pretty boring for you to watch me just type away. Are you sure? It’s pretty late.” He was sure his cheeks would hurt from how wide he smiled.

“It’s not a problem at all. I was going to work tonight too.” He wasn’t. “We can just work together. I’ll bring food. Did you eat yet?” his words tumbled over each other.

“How very college of you.” He could hear you giggling on the line. “Now that I think about it - I’m starving.”

“Okay text me the address, I’ll be there soon.”

He had never been this excited to pretend to work.

He spotted you as he walked through the doors of the 13th floor, pepperoni pizza in hand. You were sitting at a long desk near the middle of the room. He was surprised as he expected you in an office, but he found you typing away at your desktop. Your hair was tied up in a bun and you were dressed in an oversized beige t-shirt, eyebrows furrowed head bopping to the hip hop track playing through the speakers. You seemed to be in your own little world. He felt like he was spying on you as he leaned against the door watching but he also liked seeing how you acted when you thought no one was watching. He was about to announce his presence when the track changed to a Childish Gambino one and you whooped and started to rap along.

You were now fully head banging and rapping the verse at the top of your lungs. He would be impressed by your fairly good amateur skills if he didn’t find the entire scene so endearing. His heart was doing somersaults as he watched you now fully engrossed in the song, typing forgotten as you got up and started to pretend you were on stage, an imaginary mic in your hand asking haters if they “eatin’ though”. You looked so adorable that he couldn’t help but squeal a little “cute!”

That’s when you saw him, eyes wide. He felt a little bad when he saw how embarrassed you looked, immediately stopping and slapping a hand to your mouth before bursting out in nervous laughter. He could write a whole album with that laugh. Oh he was so whipped, he thought to himself as he made his way to you.

“You know you’re not half bad!” He exclaimed as he set the pizza on the table, pulling a chair next to yours and settling down.

“Do you think your fake compliments will save you from the fact that you were spying on me?” you asked, crossing your hands across your chest, pretending to scowl but failing to do so.

“First, real compliment. Second, would pizza save me?” He opened the box and proudly smiled, loving the way your eyes lit up as you reached for a slice.

“Yes it will!” you exclaimed as you took your first bite, lightly moaning at the taste. “But erase that memory from your brain please.”

“Nope. Never. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m going to save it forever” he said as he also started on his slice. You pouted up at him, cheeks puffed and it took all the self-control he had to not kiss it off your face. He hadn’t felt this way in so long, it was like you were his first crush. Trying to control his pulse, he asked “What are you working on so late?”

“Oh I have a proposal due for a meeting tomorrow at noon and I’m only halfway through it,” you frowned wistfully at the screen as if willing it to type on its own.

“Can I help?” He asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t. He just had an overwhelming urge to make that frown disappear.

“You being here is help enough,” you smiled sincerely as you looked at him and he felt his heart explode, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “What are you working on?”

“I have a few songs I have to finish the lyrics for. Been procrastinating” he rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled out the notebook from his back pocket.

“Can I help?” you echoed his question to which he echoed your response grinning. He wasn’t lying though. Even though he had planned to not really work, as the night progressed he found the change from his usual writing spot inspiring. Sitting next to you, the sound of the keyboard clicking was soothing leading to words pouring out of him. He filled pages as he stole glances at you concentrating on your proposal, tongue peeking from between your lips, still bobbing to the music which was now playing from your airpods instead of the speakers. He smiled at the sight, before focusing on his notebook.

After about an hour or so of hard work, he finished three songs that he had allotted himself the whole week to do. This was the most productive hour he had all month. Antsy for a break, he looked over at you and found you staring at him, a hand under your chin. As he met your gaze you smiled.

“You’re really hot when you concentrate. Has anyone ever told you that?” you commented. He was taken aback by your remark, heart fluttering at your smirking face. Not missing his chance and spurred on by the comment, he scooted closer in one sweep till your knees touched and you were face to face.

“You’re one to talk. I couldn’t stop looking at you this past hour.” Gazing into your eyes, he was amused to see your smirk disappear as it was now your turn to be shocked. He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear letting his hand linger, enjoying the way you sighed as he did. “Can I make good on my promise now?” He whispered, his face centimeters away, looking at your lips. The way you bit your lower lip made him want to take you there and then. The desk looked big enough. Hell, even if it wasn’t he could make it work.

“Promise?” you whispered as he watched your eyes flutter to his lips.

“To kiss you first…” Too impatient to wait for your answer, he brought his lips to yours, relishing how soft they felt under his own. He was thrilled at you returning the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer just like you did after the party. He was beginning to think this was your signature move, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t immensely turn him on. He moved his hand cupping your face to rest on your neck and he could feel your heartbeat mimicking his. He put his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as he could get. He traced his tongue over your lips, his head cloudy with endorphins as you opened your mouth inviting him in. He had never tasted something so euphoric, his tongue exploring yours in a rush.

He could feel you pushing forward as he leaned back and allowed you to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of the chair. As soon as you were on his lap, he pulled you closer, both arms around on your hips, your chest flushed with his. He kissed the side of your mouth as he made his way down your jaw to your neck. You smelt like vanilla mixed with a fresh flower garden, and he was sure this smell was better than any drug in the world. He could hear your breathy moans as he sucked where your neck met your collarbone, licking to soothe it before moving further. He wanted to taste all of you. Your hands were in his hair and each tug made him groan into you, making him harder. He could kiss you like this forever. He wanted to save this moment so he could come back to it and relive it. He traced his hands up and down your sides, moving under your shirt but remaining on your waist, enjoying the feel of your soft skin.

“Namjoon… Namjoon… slow down” he heard you say breathlessly as he felt a slight push. He looked up at you, your eyes half lidded and lusty as you grabbed his face and brought it to yours. You were sending him mixed signals, but he didn’t care as long as he could keep kissing you.

“We have to slow down or I’m going to want to fuck you right here.” You whined as you both came back up for air, but you kissed him again nevertheless. Hearing you say that made him want to do anything in his power to make that happen.

“I don’t mind, baby,” he said against your lips, kissing you with urgency, biting your lower lip and pulling it gently to elicit another moan from you. To his disappointment, you seemed to have better self-control than him as you pushed him back, both of you panting as you struggled to catch your breath. He moved his hand back to your hips tracing little circles, feeling comforted by you smoothing his hair you had pulled earlier.

“There are cameras here. I’d rather not make a sex tape on our first date.” You giggled as you pointed to the black sphere in the corner of the room. He had never hated the obsession buildings had for security more, but the crudeness of your comment made him laugh. He had almost forgotten this was your first date, it felt like he had kissed you a thousand times before. You tasted like the relief of an awning in the middle of a summer downpour.

“I think we need to cool down,” you say as you climb off of his lap. “Let’s go.”

He followed you as you led him to the little kitchenette near the end of the room, unable to resist the urge to wrap his hands around your waist in a back hug. He knew he was being too clingy for a first date, but the way you giggled and put your hands over his gave him assurance.

“Lemonade, coke, or water,” you asked as you peered into the fridge.

“You.” He smirked kissing your neck, feeling bold off of the high from your makeout session.

“Joon!” you pretended to sound scandalized as you turned in his arms, smiling warmly. The nickname made his heart swell. It added a familiarity that he didn’t know he missed from you.

“You haven’t called me Joon before. I like it” he smiled as he pecked your lips.

“Hey! We are cooling down! No kissing! Now pick” you chided and Namjoon couldn’t help but wonder if you were this assertive in bed too, a million scenarios playing in his head. Okay, you were right, he needed to cool down.

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” he said as he grabbed the bottle you passed him, opening and gulping half of it. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was for something other than you. You both made your way to the tables, sitting across from each other.

“So did you finish your proposal?” He asked trying to cool himself but failing as he noticed you running the cold water bottle against your neck, the beads of condensation dripping on your shirt. He cleared his throat as he tried to focus his attention on your eyes, a mantra of stay focused playing in his head.

“Yes! Finally! It’s perfect.” you smiled proudly and somehow he felt a wave of pride too. “What about you? Made any progress?”

“Actually yes. I kind of finished my entire week’s writing in that one hour” he was still amazed by his own progress.

“Okay, Mr Overachiever” you joked and he chuckled.

“To be honest, I didn’t think I’d be able to write anything, but I don’t know your presence is kind of soothing. It helped me focus.” Watching your smile grow wide, he continued, “I’ve been having pretty severe burnout this past month and it has just been hard to put down my thoughts, even non-lyrical ones.” He fidgeted with the water bottle as he looked at it, avoiding eye contact.

He didn’t know why he was telling you this. He recalled when he told you about his struggles as a leader during your first conversation. Somehow being around you led him to vomit out his feelings. It was… unlike him. Namjoon was usually not this honest on dates, or relationships, as much as he would hate to admit it. That’s the reason he broke off his last one. He felt bad lying to her about a busy schedule when he just wanted to be alone. She would have understood, she was kind and thoughtful, but it just felt easier to lie and not put the effort in to explain his thoughts. Even when they broke up, he lied and told her that it was because he couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the moment, when in reality things had cooled off a while ago and he felt guilty as his feelings faded.

He felt your hand reach out and grab one of his, intertwining your fingers. He felt comforted by the gesture as you rubbed your thumb across him before you spoke two words that warmed his heart. “I understand.”

“You know it’s hard to work at full speed all the time. It’s okay to not be at a hundred all the time. The valleys feed the peaks” you continued. It was a simple remark, but it sounded surprisingly poetic to him. He hadn’t felt this understood outside of the boys for a long time. It was refreshing. It was terrifying. He resisted his natural urge to run and hide.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asked, needing to divert the attention away from his own vulnerabilities.

“Yeah. I had it pretty tough a couple of years ago. Too much pressure from myself, too many expectations. Led to too many vices and panic attacks” you shrugged as you continued and he squeezed your hand to comfort you. “It creeps up from time to time but my therapist and I have it handled” He looked at you in awe. You hadn’t given him a throwaway answer or switched the limelight back at him. You wasted no time in being as vulnerable as him, if not more. He knew at that moment that regardless of where this thing went, he wanted you to know you better.

“Thank you for being honest.” He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently. It was an intimate gesture but he wanted you to know how much he appreciated your words - how much he appreciated you - in that moment. You both sat in comfortable silence for a little while, playing with each other’s hands that were still intertwined, till one of you yawned loudly causing the other to giggle. With the weight of the conversation lifting, you both fell back into playful banter as you decided to pack up and call it a night.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Namjoon asked, wanting to drag the night on longer despite it already being almost 2 am.

“Don’t judge me but I actually don’t know how to drive. I was just going to cab back.” he saw you giggle bashfully as you pulled your backpack over your shoulders.

“Oh, no judgment here! Me neither” he laughed. Why does everyone think it is such a big deal to not drive? It’s better for the environment! “Do you want to take one together? I don’t really want you to ride alone this late.” He rubbed the back of his neck, hoping he didn’t come off as if he was trying to dictate what you did.

“I’d really like that,” you said as you walked towards the elevators. He held your hand as you both got on, liking the way you moved closer to him at that.

In the cab you both sat closer than necessary, his arm wrapped around you as you both made plans for your scheduled date later that day, trying not to doze off. When the cab stopped all too soon at your apartment, he kissed you gently as he told you how much he enjoyed your company.

That night laying in bed, his heart felt full as he read your goodnight message. He was sure of it now. He really wanted you in his life.

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writing-with-olive · 3 years

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So I’ve been rewriting my wip for maybe the 15th time in 3 years and I’ve kinda been struggling. First of all, I used to be able to write nearly 1600 words per chapter. Now I can barely reach 1200. However, my style has changed, and it’s harder to write more. I’m also constantly struggling to motivate myself and feel excited about writing this. I cannot start a new project at this time, so that can’t help me catch a break. What can I do?

Hey anon!

Sorry it took so long to get back to you - I really appreciate your patience :D

This is definitely something I've struggled with before too, and it's definitely hard. I feel ya.

One of the first things I would consider is this: is there any reason chapters need to be nearly 1600 words? A chapter is defined by a smaller story arc, and if that arc is something you regularly tell in 1100-1200ish words, is that necessarily a bad thing? I bring up this question because sometimes things feel bad because they seem worse than things were before, even if they're actually not, whereas sometimes things feel bad because they're not helping you achieve the things you want to achieve. If shorter chapters are killing your pacing or falling below genre expectations, then that's definitely something to work on (i'll get to some ideas in a minute), but if it just feels not great because you're used to longer chapters, I would say not to worry about it so much. (Knowing of course, that it's easier said than done).

This also seems like a situation where you could potentially benefit from enlisting some cheerleader betas. I know cheerleading gets a lot of flack because the point of betas is usually to help you revise your work, and just getting told the good parts doesn't help to change the things that aren't necessarily working. However. Getting told that your work is good, and having people point out the direct places where that's the case can help you finish the draft, and get excited to keep going - which means you can get to a place that you can do harder edits and all that. The point is, this could be a way to help you with motivation.

Another means of finding motivation is about setting up some kind of reward system to help jumpstart the reward process in your brain. Things like "for every x words I write, I get to watch an episode of whatever show I want, and I can either save or spend that watch time right now." Or, you can go the opposite approach. If the hard part is sitting down to write consistently, lower the bar. This sounds counterintuitive, but if you're trying to hit a wordcount that is too high for you right now, and you're consistently not making it, that's going to be demoralizing. Aim for a lower wordcount, one that you know you can consistently stick with, and make that your goal. When you accomplish something, your brain releases all those happy chemicals that make you want to do the thing again, or do something to release more of them. In a lot of cases, this is where motivation comes from. If you give yourself a way to feel accomplished, you'll likely be able to do more.

If you're feeling burnt out, another thing to do would be to take a short break (set a date to return to the project and stick with it) and watch/read/listen to other media. This is mostly to help refill your creative well. If you only do output and never do input, eventually you are going to run out of creative juice. By taking the time to refill, you are doing yourself a big favor.

Circling back to some tips for writing more, consider what the shorter wordcount may be causing you to leave out in terms of pacing within each chapter and in larger arcs. You've been existing with this project for several years now, and have rewritten it a bunch, so I imagine you probably have a sense for where you're trying to end up. Step back for a minute and think -- are there any elements that you've dropped from the story that you want to add back in? Any places where you don't have enough details because you already know the places and characters well enough that it didn't exactly occur to you as you were writing it that the audience doesn't inherently have that same image already? Also, what is the arc of each chapter -- the initial state, conflict, and change? What questions are you bringing up, and do you answer enough of previous chapters' questions that readers can feel like the story is moving forward?

Hopefully this gives you a starting place to jump off from. Happy writing!

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queenmuzz · 3 years

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Bit of a heads up....

Lately, I’ve noticed a sharp decline in the quality of my writing, and it’s been bothering me why that is. I’m going on a theory that it’s possibly because of how I feel I fit into the fandom, and how I’ve been interacting. That I’m no longer writing for myself, I’m writing to feel some sort of ��bond’ with others. Like I’m the kid who changes her wardrobe and hair to fit in with the ‘cool’ kids at school. The analogy sucks, but like I said, my writing has dropped off a cliff lately. Events over the past month or two have made me realize that I will never become that person I’ve striven to be.

So, I’m taking a break. Not from writing, mind you, just from reblogging, from writing dumb posts, from interacting with the fandom. Hopefully, this will jumpstart the creative juices and within a week, I’ll go back to my old self, happy and confident in myself and my work.

So... going on radio silence, and see you next week!

#muzz may muse #also I’ll be most likely cringing at this post #but whatever #with cringe comes growth

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smurphyse · 2 years

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Theory Time!

I assume most of you follow me because of Over Your Shoulder, my Criminal Minds fic, or maybe because of my Loki fic The Arrangement!

I'd love to hear any theories or thoughts you all have on them! :) I'm kinda hitting a block because I've been super duper sick the last month, so I'd love to just chat about my stories with anyone who'd like to! I think it'll help me jumpstart that creative juice! <3

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joheun-saram · 4 years

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To Make a Power Couple (knj) | 02

Chapter 2 - Pizza and Life Chats

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Summary- Namjoon and Y/N go on their first date, and Namjoon is whipped.

word count- 5k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- pg13 for now

genre- series, slow burn, fluff eventual smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- mentions of hangovers and panic attacks, tooth-rottingly fluffy

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut

Last month was hell. He had procrastinated on his songs and none of the vocal guides were even halfway done before the due date. Everytime he tried to finish a song a new one would pop up in his head and he would start on that, leading to a hard drive full of files labelled “finish soon” and “draft”, and a notebook full of scratched out scribbles. It was like his brain had decided to abandon him, deciding it had had enough of his perpetual melancholy. He had felt drained and burnt out, a husk with no creative juices left. Luckily, Yoongi and a few of the producers had taken pity on his stressed out state and lent a hand so he had been able to finish the bare minimum three days ago - before the label pressured him further. He was never more grateful for a small break.

As he brushed his teeth today, he smiled at the mirror. Last month may have been terrible, but last night was one of the best he’d had in the past year.

When he had heard Bang PD’s team talk about how they were attending the charity gala as he met them for notes on his songs, he was intrigued. He had read about this non-profit in the paper before. They seemed to be helping bridge the gap between people through communication and that spoke to him. So much so that he had scrolled through their website multiple times, reading testimonials and almost memorizing the mission statement. They wanted to help kids learn English for free so they could communicate globally. He really liked the idea. It was hard for him to learn the language as a kid and he knew that the only reason he became as fluent as he is from the tutors his parents paid for and his obsession with American television and music. Although he doesn’t need the tutoring anymore, he does enjoy talking to the in-house tutor at the company, John, from time to time and improving his skills. The fact that this company wanted to add a John to every school in Korea starting from the rural areas, made Namjoon want to meet the man behind the movement. Little did he know, he’d be meeting the girl who’d shift his idea of the ideal.

He had never been more glad to have convinced his company to let him and the boys attend an event. He had initially suggested it as a way to break the mundane before their comeback practices started and network while supporting a cause he liked. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have guessed it would be an actual fun night leading to him nursing a headache.

He spent the next hour reliving last night as he showered and caught up on the news. He also read the messages he sent last night over a hundred times and had butterflies each time. Wasn’t he too old for butterflies? He wanted to message you again but everytime he tried, he ended up overthinking it. Everything sounded forced or cheesy, and it was worse than any writer’s block. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration watching it bounce and land on the floor, before he grabbed it and pocketed it. Hopping around to get rid of his nerves, he decided to take a break from rereading the thread he already had memorized and check in with everyone. If his hangover was this bad he can’t imagine theirs.

“How’re you guys feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from Yoongi.

“This is why I don’t drink. Why did no one stop me?” Taehyung whined as he rose from the floor to leave, massaging his head.

“Honestly, I owe you big time. She was… amazing. I don’t think I’ve talked to someone that comfortably in a while” Namjoon sighed wistfully.

“I’ll add cupid to my resume,” he deadpanned. “Is she tolerating you for another date?”

“Or you could just ask her how’s her hangover today. Jeez. Do I have to draft each of your messages? Stop being a dumbass and text the person you like.” Yoongi scoffed, clearly over Namjoon’s sudden and uncharacteristic insecurities.

Namjoon gave a resigned sigh as he reached for his phone and wrote out exactly what Yoongi suggested. Hey, he was his hyung for a reason - he had a full 6 months of life experience on him.

Namjoon: Hey! Hope your hangover is not too bad today.

As soon as the message was sent, he started getting nervous. Tapping his foot incessantly while staring at his phone, willing it to buzz, annoying Yoongi enough to leave him alone on the couch in the process.

Y/N: Hi to you too! I actually don’t get hangovers so I’m doing great lol. What about you?

Namjoon: What do you mean you don’t get hangovers?

Y/N: I don’t know. Can’t get dehydrated if you’re always dehydrated!

Namjoon: That… makes no sense. Do I need to start reminding you to drink water?

Y/N: Only if you’re better than this app on my phone…

Namjoon: I can guarantee you I’m better than any app on this planet.

Y/N: Wow. Big claims! We’ll have to put it to the test I suppose.

Y/N: You never told me how you’re feeling. Oh and how’s Taehyung? Is he okay?

Namjoon: He’s doing fine. Made a pact to never drink again and if i’m being honest, I’m going to join him. I am shocked that your head is not exploding as well.

The conversation Monday, however, was fairly sparse, and Namjoon was eager to set up plans for the next day, so that night he decided to call you.

“Hello, this is Y/N” you sounded distant, almost too formal. He felt nervous.

“Hi… uh... this is Namjoon. Is this a bad time?”

“Hi sorry about that! How are you?” He relaxed at your airy tone and smiled.

“I’m good. Are you still at work?”

“Yeah it’s only like 7 so it’s no big deal. I usually leave around 8” Were you serious?

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I overworked my team. Had to send the troops home” you laughed and Namjoon felt his heart flutter.

“I don’t wanna keep you from going home. I can call you back once you get there” he offered. He felt bad that you were staying in an empty office on his account.

“It’d be pretty boring for you to watch me just type away. Are you sure? It’s pretty late.” He was sure his cheeks would hurt from how wide he smiled.

“It’s not a problem at all. I was going to work tonight too.” He wasn’t. “We can just work together. I’ll bring food. Did you eat yet?” his words tumbled over each other.

“How very college of you.” He could hear you giggling on the line. “Now that I think about it - I’m starving.”

“Okay text me the address, I’ll be there soon.”

He had never been this excited to pretend to work.

____________________________

“You know you’re not half bad!” He exclaimed as he set the pizza on the table, pulling a chair next to yours and settling down.

“Do you think your fake compliments will save you from the fact that you were spying on me?” you asked, crossing your hands across your chest, pretending to scowl but failing to.

“First, real compliment. Second, would pizza save me?” He opened the box and proudly smiled, loving the way your eyes lit up as you reached for a slice.

“Yes it will!” you exclaimed as you took your first bite, lightly moaning at the taste. “But erase that memory from your brain please.”

“Oh I have a proposal due for a meeting tomorrow at noon and I’m only halfway through it.” you frowned wistfully at the screen as if willing it to type on its own.

“Can I help?” He asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t. He just had an overwhelming urge to make that frown disappear.

“You being here is help enough,” you smiled sincerely as you looked at him and he felt his heart explode, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “What are you working on?”

“I have a few songs I have to finish the lyrics for. Been procrastinating” he rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled out the notebook from his back pocket.

“Promise?” you whispered as he watched your eyes flutter to his lips.

“To kiss you first...” Too impatient to wait for your answer, he brought his lips to yours, relishing how soft they felt under his own. He was thrilled at you returning the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer just like you did after the party. He was beginning to think this was your signature move, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t immensely turn him on. He moved his hand cupping your face to rest on your neck and he could feel your heartbeat mimicking his. He put his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as he could get. He traced his tongue over your lips, his head cloudy with endorphins as you opened your mouth inviting him in. He had never tasted something so euphoric, his tongue exploring yours in a rush.

“Namjoon… Namjoon... slow down” he heard you say breathlessly as he felt a slight push. He looked up at you, your eyes half lidded and lusty as you grabbed his face and brought it to yours. You were sending him mixed signals, but he didn’t care as long as he could keep kissing you.

“I think we need to cool down,” you say as you climb off of his lap. “Let’s go.”

“Lemonade, coke, or water,” you asked as you peered into the fridge.

“You.” He smirked kissing your neck, feeling bold off of the high from your makeout session.

“Joon!” you pretended to sound scandalized as you turned in his arms, smiling warmly. The nickname made his heart swell. It added a familiarity that he didn’t know he missed from you.

“You haven’t called me Joon before. I like it” he smiled as he pecked your lips.

“Yes! Finally! It’s perfect.” you smiled proudly and somehow he felt a wave of pride too. “What about you? Made any progress?”

“Actually yes. I kind of finished my entire week’s writing in that one hour” he was still amazed by his own progress.

“Okay, Mr Overachiever” you joked and he chuckled.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asked, needing to divert the attention away from his own vulnerabilities.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Namjoon asked, wanting to drag the night on longer despite it already being almost 2 am.

“Don’t judge me but I actually don’t know how to drive. I was just going to cab back.” he saw you giggle bashfully as you pulled your backpack over your shoulders.

“I’d really like that,” you said as you walked towards the elevators. He held your hand as you both got on, liking the way you moved closer to him at that.

That night laying in bed, his heart felt full as he read your goodnight message. He was sure of it now. He really wanted you in his life.

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