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mellowmadds · 2 years

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Candy Hearts | Ricky Bowen

ricky bowen/fem!reader oneshot

fluff :)

summary: attending camp shallow lake wasn’t your ideal summer plan. however getting to spend a few weeks of summer alone with your boyfriend Ricky seemed to make all your nerves and anxiety ridden thoughts disappear.

warnings: anxiety/anxious reader, sad reader, shy reader, ricky bowen has adhd

word count: 3076

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

Attending camp shallow lake wasn’t exactly how you wanted to be spending your summer, but here you are packing all your essentials. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be spending a few weeks of summer vacation with your best friends and almost too caring boyfriend, it’s just that your anxiety usually got the best of you. As you’re trying your best to fit everything into a small duffle bag that Ricky had let you borrow, your mother gently leaned against the frame of your bedroom door.

“Don’t forget your eyeglass cleaner, I know it bothers you even if it’s just a small smudge.” Your mother laughed while walking forward handing you the eyeglass cleaner and a small cloth.

“Thanks mom.” You said while trying to force a smile onto your face.

“What’s wrong Y/n? I can tell when you’re upset so don’t try to hide it.” Your mother stated as she sat down on your bed and grabbed the teddy bear that always sat on your pillow.

“Just nervous. I don't understand why you’re making me go.” Trying your best to not let the tears that filled your eyes spill down your face.

“Because this will be a good experience for you. Your friends will be by your side the entire time, you know Kourtney will be there for you. She understands how you feel so don’t worry she will take care of you. Besides, isn't Ricky also going to be there?” She was right, you knew that Kourt will always and forever be there for you, that's just the kind of person she is. As you looked back up at your mom she had a smirk on her face as she tightly held the teddy bear Ricky had gotten you a while back. You took the teddy bear from her arms and threw it on the pile of clothes you started folding so you could pack them into the duffle bag.

“No mother would ever be this happy that their daughter is spending a few weeks of summer vacation alone with her boyfriend, not to mention camp is also a few hours away from home.” As you stood up grabbing some more clothes to fold your mother also stood up and pulled you into a hug.

“That’s because I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” She said trying her best to keep a straight face.

“Okay enough with the mean girls quotes, but sure you're the coolest mom in the world.” You said hugging her back trying your best not to be so anxious about going off to camp.

Finishing up packing wasn’t the easiest trying to fit everything you were taking into that small duffle bag was a challenge however you did succeed without breaking the zipper. You were going to carpool with Kourtney, EJ, Ashlyn, and Carlos since Ricky was helping Big Red at the pizza place and was going to drive Big Red’s car to camp later on tonight. As you waited for EJ’s car to arrive you said your goodbyes to your mother and tried your best to look excited even though deep down you were a nervous wreck. EJ’s car finally pulled into your driveway making your heart skip a beat knowing there's no turning back now, you have no other choice than to attend camp. While throwing your bag in the trunk you hear Gina fighting over who gets to control the music.

“Wait so how are we all supposed to fit?” You laughed while Gina pulled you onto her lap and pushed your glasses up for you.

“Well hello to you too Y/n.” Gina laughed while trying to act as if she was hurt over you not expecting her to be in the car. Of course she wasn’t actually hurt. Gina had become the one friend who gave you the confidence you so desperately needed and the two of you grew closer since you knew she’d never judge you for being yourself. As everyone got settled into the car Gina turned the music back on and ‘Hopelessly Devoted’ from the movie Grease started playing through the loudspeakers and everyone sang along. Gina grabbed your cheeks as you scrunched up your nose as she sang the lyrics ‘But now there’s nowhere to hide’ then Carlos dramatically laid his arm on his forehead and leaned back into you and Gina as he sang the ‘Since you pushed my love aside’ lyric. The whole car ride was full of laughter and singing which made you think maybe camp would be fun. As you guys arrived at camp a girl named Maddox held out a bucket labeled ‘cell phones’ everyone placed their phones into the bucket while talking amongst themselves while you tightly held onto your phone and asked if this was a mandatory type of thing unfortunately it was and everyone had to give up all electronics.

“Camp Shallow Lake has a no electronics allowed policy in place so all campers can enjoy our activities and enjoy the outdoors, it’s only for a couple of weeks you’ll be fine.” Maddox spoke quietly to you as if she noticed how nervous you were. You gently placed your phone into the bucket taking one last look at your lock screen which was just a picture of Ricky holding the teddy bear he gifted you.

Walking towards the girls cabin Kourtney tried her best to make small talk with you as the rest of the girls walked in front of you guys.

“Please at least try to have a little bit of fun, I promise I’m not going anywhere I’ll be by your side the entire time.” She gave you a lighthearted smile and gave you a side hug as you both walked to the door of the cabin.

“Well this is certainly a choice” Kourtney laughed while pointing out every small detail she hated about the cabin.

“Save yourself the time and don’t even step one foot in the bathroom if you think the main room is horrid.” Gina chimed in with a disgusted look on her face while Kourtney covered her mouth with her hand and pretended to gag.

While the girls chatted among themselves you started fixing one of the bottom bunks claiming it as your own. While trying to unpack all the thoughts of having to stay here for a couple of weeks instead of peacefully sleeping in the comfort of your own home filled your brain. Trying to hide your discomfort you told the girls you were going to go for a walk and would be back later on.

“You guys think she’ll be alright and eventually get used to it?” Ashlyn asked worriedly, she had always looked out for you even if you two weren’t the closest of friends.

“I doubt it Y/n has never liked being away from home. It took her months to be able to sleep the entire night at my house when we were younger. She won’t even sleepover at Ricky’s even though Mr. Bowen doesn’t care.” Kourtney explained to the girls while Carlos quietly entered the cabin and joined in on the conversation.

“Y/n doesn’t look like she’s having any fun. I just passed her on the way here and she didn’t even look at me when I asked where she was going.” Carlos told the girls while giving them a sad expression.

“Wait, she really won’t sleep over at Ricky’s house?” Gina asked shockingly.

“Big Red may or may not have told me that Ricky thinks his ADHD and outgoing personality is too much for Y/n to handle.” Ashlyn chimed back into the conversation.

“Are Y/n and Ricky really having problems?” Carlos questioned Kourtney hoping she would spill every single drop of tea.

“Y/n just struggles with really bad anxiety and this is probably the last place she wants to be right now. They aren’t having problems but it just takes Y/n a while to become fully comfortable. Also Ricky has no room to talk because he is constantly getting Y/n in trouble at school for the stupid things he does like skateboarding down the dead silent hallways with Y/n trailing behind him dragging his backpack on the floor trying to get him to stop. Ricky doesn’t exactly help Y/n when it comes to her anxiety, he just makes it worse.” Kourtney says with a straight face.

“So you’re confirming that what Ricky told Big Red is correct?” Ashlyn asked Kourtney with a confused look.

“Ricky just needs to realize that Y/n struggles with being in unfamiliar places and becoming close with people. She trusts Ricky, she just needs more time to get comfortable.” Kourtney explained.

Everyone decided to stop questioning Kourtney because she seemed to be done with the conversation and decided to finish unpacking and talk about the activities happening tonight.

“Hey Y/n I’m sorry but you can’t be over here we have to start setting up for the campfire.” EJ stated while giving Y/n a small smile.

“Sorry rocketman.” EJ glared at you.

“Please don’t call me that absolutely nobody knows my camp nickname yet I’m not ready to be made fun of the entire trip.” EJ laughed. “The girls have been looking for you, you should head back and get ready for the campfire.”

“Sorry if I worried anyone, I was just trying to clear my head.” You explained and gave EJ a wave goodbye while you walked back in the direction of the girls cabin.

When you got back to the cabin none of the girls were there so you took the time to try your best to relax and find an outfit to wear to the campfire since it was going to get cold tonight. Time passed and eventually all the girls came back to the cabin with blankets to stay warm next to the campfire. Gina handed you a fluffy light blue blanket and asked if everyone was ready to start heading out. While the girls headed to the campfire Ricky finally arrived and decided to head to the boys cabin to unpack. While Ricky was unpacking in the boys cabin he quickly made friends with a kid named Jet who finally agreed to come to the campfire with Ricky after some convincing. Before heading out Ricky grabbed the candy hearts he bought earlier and quickly made his way to the campfire with Jet.

“Am I late!” Ricky yelled over EJ’s horrible singing.

“You always know how to make an appearance, Bowen.” Carlos shook his head laughing while getting up from his spot next to Y/n so Ricky could take a seat next to you. EJ continued to sing while everyone watched him and made weird faces.

“Hey love” Ricky quietly greeted you while you let him take half of the blanket. You gave him a soft smile not wanting to interrupt EJ again.

You and the girls have been sharing a bag of twizzlers when out of the blue Ricky reaches and grabs one.

“Absolutely not Bowen go get your own.” Kourtney snaps at him. She had never really been fond of Ricky but tolerates him because you love him for some reason. You looked over at Kourtney while taking the twizzler from Ricky and placing it back in the bowl. Carlos seemed to be the only one to notice your obvious discomfort and sadness that Kourt snapped at Ricky for no reason. Instead of fighting with her Ricky shrugged his shoulders and decided it wasn’t worth it to start an argument, he knew Y/n wouldn’t like that.

“Here” Ricky said while handing you a candy heart that had ‘I <3 you’ written on it. You looked up at him and gave him another smile when he started leaning in you turned to lay your head on his shoulder. The rest of the campfire was filled with laughter and happy memories being made. Although you didn’t talk to Kourtney the rest of the time you still enjoyed your time with your other friends. Eventually the campfire ended and since it was getting late everyone decided it was time to head back to the cabins and get ready for bed. Everyone said their goodbyes. You gave Ricky a hug and said goodnight to him and walked back to the girls cabin with Ashlyn while EJ and the rest of the camp directors stayed behind to clean up.

“Are you okay Y/n? Kourt shouldn't have snapped like that.” Ashlyn asked before entering the cabin.

“Yeah I’m alright I know she doesn’t like him it’s okay.” You said back shrugging your shoulders. Ashlyn just nodded and gave you a tight hug before the both of you headed inside the cabin. It was getting late and everyone was tired so you rushed getting ready for bed so the girls could shut the lights and go to sleep. Some time had passed and everyone had already fallen asleep no matter what you could not fall asleep it felt as if your breathing was getting heavier with every passing minute and no matter what you could not get comfortable instead you were tossing and turning every second. Realizing you weren’t going to get any sleep you grabbed one of your hoodies and made your way over towards the boys cabin. You don’t know where the courage came from. Maybe it was because you were tired or because Kourtney made you mad but you twisted the doorknob to the boys cabin and walked in like you owned the place. Of course the boys were still awake. It was only Ricky, Carlos and Jet since EJ was still cleaning up the campground. Ricky quickly jumped from his top bunk and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey Y/n are you okay what happened?” Ricky asked, letting go and looking at you.

“I just couldn’t sleep and Kourt isn’t really being the nicest person right now.” You admitted fidgeting with your hands and placing them in the pocket of your hoodie.

“You can stay here, come on take your shoes off.” Ricky said while taking one of the million pillows Carlos brought along with him.

“My pillows are the most comfortable they are made of-” Carlos was quickly cut off by you telling him thank you and Ricky turning the lights off as soon as he knew you made it safely onto the top bunk. Ricky quickly climbed back into bed and gently pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around you. Although this was new for you guys to be sleeping in the same bed you felt comfortable and played with the end of his t-shirt while you slowly drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately that didn’t last long because no more than an hour later the lights were being turned on by a very already pissed off EJ.

“Carlos candles are not allowed in the cabins!” He quickly ran over to the candle and blew it out. EJ was taking his new camp job very seriously which everyone found hilarious.

“We were trying to sleep, shut the lights back off it’s late” Ricky said sitting up to face EJ.

“You guys were not sleeping Jet is playing that stupid video game and Carlos has his face misting thing on.” Carlos just rolled his eyes and continued to ignore EJ. As soon as Ricky sat up EJ saw you laying there next to him.

“Y/n get up you’re not allowed to sleep in here.” EJ said with an annoyed look on his face.

“Just go to sleep EJ nobody else cares, it’s not like we are going to do anything.” Ricky replied back.

“No Ricky it doesn’t matter I’m not getting in trouble for letting Y/n sleep in your bed. Come on Y/n get up I’ll walk you back to the girls cabin.” EJ was serious this time and wasn’t in the mood to joke around or let anything slide. Ricky was starting to get angry but before he could start a fight with EJ you started to quietly explain what was going on to EJ. It was hard for you to talk about your struggles with anxiety and explained that earlier in the day when you had talked to EJ because you were sitting where the campfire was being set up you told him it was because you were trying to clear your head and calm yourself down. After some more talking EJ finally agreed to let you stay and apologized for being an asshole. You accepted his apology, you knew he didn’t hate you and that he was just tired and wanted to go to sleep after a long day. Eventually morning came and the bright sun came shining through the windows. EJ was already up and gone getting the day started with the campers while Carlos was just heading out the door to go get some breakfast.

“Good Morning love” Ricky said while pulling you closer to him. He always called you some sort of name but love was always your favorite. You gave him a quick kiss and hugged him tight while he pulled the blanket up further so you were comfortable. However your sweet but short lived moment was only to be interrupted by the one and only Dewey Wood.

“I see not one but two violations in front of me.” Dewey stated while Jet quickly hid his gaming system under his blanket. Following his actions Ricky jokingly covered you with the blanket.

“Jet, why don’t you get up and go get some breakfast.” Dewey recommended and Jet followed his instructions not wanting to get his games taken away.

“Now that it’s just us, let's have a very nice detailed conversation about why this isn’t allowed.” Dewey said while gesturing his hands towards the two of you.

You may have not had the best first night at camp and while yes having ‘the talk’ with none other than Dewey Wood was intriguing yet embarrassing you had one of the best morning’s ever getting to spend time with Ricky brushing your teeth together while dancing to music on EJ’s record player and then getting to eat breakfast together pretending it was like a mini date. Ricky may be a lot to handle sometimes but he truly does take all your worries away and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than Ricky Bowen.

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leaawrites · 4 months

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Tolerate it

Ricky Bowen x fem!reader Warnings: Angst, mention of cheating, ooc, Ricky being an asshole, Ricky tolerating the reader's love while still being in love with Nini, lying, possible grammar mistakes wordcount: 0,8 k

masterlist

He’s breathing in. Breathing out. In and out. A steady rhythm. One you shouldn’t disturb. Ricky looked peaceful. He looked happier than ever before. Y/n watched him. She sat up in bed, the moon shining down on them. She would like for him to feel this calm when he was with her. But he never did. He always looked at her that way. With that calmness and ease of love. Full pure love.

It was a surprise to anyone at East high when they made it official. Y/n was a grade under Ricky. Nini just broke up with EJ. Y/n heard rumors; that Ricky only made it official to make Nini jealous. It was a hit in the chest when she noticed it as well. The looks he gave her. The little smile that spread over his face whenever Nini walked into the room. He only looked at her like that when Nini and EJ were still dating. It was all easier back then. She wished she could back to that time.

“What are you thinking about?” Ricky asked her, as he read through his script. The sun was up, Y/n still sat in the exact same position.

If they were so close back then, why couldn’t they in the future as well?

“Nothing,” she answered quietly.

They were at Y/n’s house. Pictures were hanging on the wall. One of them hung there as well. She wanted to gift it to Ricky, but he said he had no space for it. His walls were blank, unless you count the pictures Nini painted for him in kindergarten, or first grade. Or even before summer. He still had them hung up. Y/n used her best colors for it. The expensive ones she got for her birthday a year ago. She was too afraid to use them and not like the picture of it in the end. But she did. She loved it. She loved him. But did he even love her truly?

Y/n stood up. She walked over to Ricky, wrapping her arms around his chest and kissing his shoulder. The boy shrugged her off.

“I have to go to rehearsal.” It was Sunday. She may wasn’t the smartest, but she definitely wasn’t dumb.

“You have rehearsal today?” She asked, her voice sounding suspicious. “But it’s Sunday. You never have rehearsal on Sundays.”

“I - uh. I do, today. Miss Jenn called us all in, because of some problem,” He explained. His eyes moved around the ceiling. He was searching for some explanation. “You probably didn’t notice my phone go off, since you were zoned out over something you won’t tell me.”

“I told you it was nothing,” She argued with him. He would think she was crazy if she told him about what anyone else said. He always did call her crazy when she even mentioned it just in the slightest.

“Whatever,” Ricky scoffed, pressing a fleeting kiss on her cheek. Then he disappeared out of her bedroom. Out of her home.

Y/n waited for the door to shut downstairs until she called Gina. She was the first to tell her about the rumors, the stares, the smiles. She was who comforted her when she was crying now. He didn’t. Not like he used to.

“Gina?” She asked, not letting her friend speak and greet her. “Do you have rehearsal today?”

“Uh, no.” Y/n could already feel Gina rolling her eyes. She knew who it was about.

“OK. Thanks.” Y/n didn’t want to hear her friend lecture her today.

Will you come back to mine after rehearsal?

Ricky didn’t read the message until 2 hours later. He was sat up in Big Red’s room. He would have to go now if he didn’t want to upset her.

“I have to go, Red,” Ricky told his friend, whose face was basically attached to the screen in front of him.

Rehearsal wouldn’t end until an hour later. But he had to do something before dropping by at Y/n’s house.

The door in front of him now seemed bigger than it ever did before. Even when he was a little boy it never seemed so intimidating. The bell was shrill. If he had a more sensitive hearing he would have to cover his ears at the sound. Nini opened the door. She was looking beautiful like always.

“Hey,” The boy smiled at the girl in front of him.

“Hi,” Nini said back, confusion lingered on her face.

“I- uh. I wanted to talk to you real quick.” Ricky fiddled with his fingers. He didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“It just felt right to confess,” Ricky said slowly and quiet. “I never joined the musical because I wanted to. I always just wanted you. And since you’ve broken up with EJ now, I guess I just wanted to ask if we wanted to try again?”

Nini looked at him with wide eyes. “You have a girlfriend if I have to remind you, Richard Bowen.”

“But I don’t love her like I love you.”

“Then tell her that.”

The next second the door was closed in his face. Nini didn’t love him anymore. He didn’t love Y/n. But he guessed he had to tolerate it if he wanted to seem okay.

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perfectlywrongformend3s · 1 year

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Surprising Fans-Joshua Bassett

A/n: I got this idea from when Josh went to I think someplace in New York. And I really wish I could meet him, plus see him sing live.

-Samantha

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I was hanging around the hotel room waiting for Josh to get out of the shower. We were in New York just for vacation and Josh thought it would be a great idea to hang out with his fans.

" Josh, you almost done there!" I shouted

I heard him let out a laugh. " Yes, I'm just putting clothes on. Be out in a second."

I sighed and went over to my vans to put them on. I was just about to tie my laces when I heard the door open. I looked over my shoulder to see Josh walking out with wet hair and just black jeans on. I really didn't know I was staring until Josh said...

" Baby, Y/n. Are you good over there or is my chest distracting you."

I felt myself blush, so I looked down to tie my shoes, when I heard Josh laughing at how easily I got embraced by his teasing. " Hey Y/n, we really have to start heading down to town square." he asked " Yeah." I responded back

I stood up and grabbed some last minute things while Josh was on his phone. I looked at him confused. He just smiled at me. I think he was letting the fans know about are surprise meet and greet. I was super pumped to meet everyone.

Joshua's POV

I was walking to town square with Y/n/n and I could tell she was really excited to see the fans. It made me really happy that the fans loved and adored her. She glanced over at me and saw that I was already looking at her. She gave me a look. " What?"

I just shook my head and grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.

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I could hear the fans all shouting and talking among themselves so I knew we were close. I could feel Y/n's hand shake a little so I gave it a squeeze to comfort her. She smiled and leaned up to Kiss the side of my neck. " Omg! Josh!" the fans shouted

The both of us let out giggles. We pulled our hands away to say hello to everyone. " Josh, I love you so much." I smiled and told her I loved her too. She then turned to Y/n/n and asked, " can I get a hug?" I saw Y/n's eyes water and immediately pulled the fan into her embrace. I smiled at the site and then continued talking to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

I was sitting on the ledge of the fountain with some fans while we were watching Josh sing some of his songs. I felt a gentle tap on my knee and saw a young girl on the ground. I smiled and said, " Yes?" She smiled " I was just wondering if we could take a picture together." I nodded my head, so we both got into our poses and she took the picture. After she took the picture the rest of the girls wanted photos as well. After I was done with the last pictures I went back to admiring Josh.

Third Person POV

What the two didn't know was that the fans were secretly taking photos of them. Some of the pictures were of them admiring each other and other things the fan's thought were adorable.

Your POV

I was now dancing around with fans while Josh was singing. Some of the fans gave me gifts, mostly like bracelets. I started giggling because Josh was trying to copy our moves while still singing. He looked at me and smiled with a wink, which got the fans screaming. The both of us just laughed at their reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was starting to get late so Josh and I started to bid the fans goodbye. We were about to walk off before one of the fans asked if she could take a picture with us. We nodded and let her get in between us while one of her friends took the picture. After that we waved and started making our way back to the hotel.

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We were now lying in the bed while looking through all the tagged photos. I smiled when I saw a photo of me just admiring Josh. I liked it and commented with a heart and a smiley face. " What's got you all smiling?" Josh said

I smiled and showed him the picture that a fan took of me. " Awe." he said

He then pulled into his side and kissed the top of my head. I then kissed the side of his neck. The both of us continued to look at the pictures giggling, smiling, and admiring all of them. Josh's fans are so sweet. I can't wait to meet more of them, I then nuzzled into Josh more which made him wrap his arm tighter around me.

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I know I know this one is shorter than my normal ones. I just really couldn't think of anything else to write in it. I hope it's enjoyable and somewhat good. Thank you so much to everyone who's reading my stories, I really appreciate the comments that some of you write. Um I guess please enjoy this one.

-Samantha

#Joshua Bassett #joshua basset #joshua basset imagine #joshua basset x reader #Joshua Bassett imagine #Joshua Bassett x reader #Joshua bassett x y/n #Joshua bassett x you #Joshua Bassett x #Joshua bassett fluff #fluff #Joshua Bassett fanfic #Joshua bassett fic #mine

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customplaylist · 1 year

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I make personalized playlists for any theme or occasion!

Comfort characters, ships, parties, new music for hot girl walks, recommendations based on other faves... anything you could think of!

Check out my Etsy for more info <3

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mediocre-writerr · 1 year

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hiii!!! Congratulations on 2k! Can i request a wandaxfem!reader where r feels like wanda doesn't love her the same way she does. then r gets terribly injured in a mission and all her insecurities washes away when she wakes up in the med bay with wanda holding her hand... “i’ll be fine for tonight with you by my side, but don’t you know you’re my lifeline) - (lifeline, joshua bassett)

lifeline [wanda maximoff]

warnings: stab wounds, explosion, mentions of breathing tubes, mentions of hospitals, slight mention of throwing up, a few curse words, tried to be accurate, but probably inaccurate medical terminology and scenarios

pairings: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

*not my gif*

“Nat?” Wanda asks. Her phone pressed against her cheek as she stirred dinner for the rest of the team.

She could hear the sounds of beeping and mumbling from the other line. The ex-assassin clears her throat, “Wanda something happened on the mission,” her heart dropped into the pits of her stomach. “Y/N got injured…really bad, actually. Her injuries are so severe that Fury recommended we go straight to the hospital. We had to take her to hospitall. I think you should fly out here as soon as you can.”

There was a pause of silence. Neither of the two girls really know what to say. Wanda’s mouth opened and closed like a fish as she tried to find words. Nat cleared her throat again, “You may want to hurry. Doc said she may only have twelve hours.” Natasha’s voice cracking rings in the witch’s ears.

All of a sudden the phone felt heavy, like she was holding the weight of five elephants in the palm of her hand. The phone crashed onto the floor with a soft thump, catching the attention of Clint and Steve who were setting up the table for dinner. Their eyes land on the distressed girl, “Wanda? What happened?” Steve asked, stepping hesitantly closer to her. His blue eyes searching her green ones, trying to read what had just happened.

The girl couldn’t form words though. Her throat felt tight as tears started to build like towers. Clint picked the phone from off the floor, hearing Nat’s voice speak muffled against the line, “Nat? What’s going on?” His confused expression slowly turns into an urgency as he looks at his Captain. He hangs up the phone quickly, “Steve get the quinjet ready, we need to go. Now.”

Clint wrapped the younger Avenger into his arms, holding her tighter than ever before, “She’s going to be okay.”

It was a simple mission, really, to stake out the Hydra infested warehouse, once it's empty, get in there and steal intel. A mission you and Nat have done countless times. You should’ve known that it would end in disaster when you thought to yourself ‘Oh this is easy! I could be home for dinner!’ Whenever someone says that, it never ends well.

The warehouse was set up in a series of buildings, so it was hard to tell if it was fully cleared. Maybe that’s how you should’ve known it wasn’t going to end well. But honestly, during the stakeout you were falling asleep at the wheel. Your best friend’s arm nudged your side with her elbow, “Usually you’re bouncing off the walls, annoying the crap out of me. What gives?”

You rub your eyes, pinching at the bridge of your nose, “Wanda and I had this huge fight before I left,” you let out a soft sigh, crossing your arms over your cloth and spandex mashed suit.

Natasha’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “But you never leave each other on a sour note before a mission.”

You nod, letting out a soft sigh, “I know hence why I could not get any sleep on the way over here.”

“Are you guys okay?”

“No, I don’t know. I hope so. It was a pretty rough one. So rough that we didn’t even say goodbye to one another before I left. ”

She squeezes your shoulder, “Do you want to talk about it?” Which you just merely shook your head in response. It wasn’t something you wanted ingrained in your head as you were about to fight loads of Hydra agents, “Alright, well, let’s just hope you don’t have a web block when we’re in there. I know how you get when the two of you fight. Now c’mon let’s get in, so we can get home for dinner!”

You throw on your mask, opening your arms up for the Russian, “C’mon little spider,” she rolls her eyes at you. Muttering under her breath about how your powers are literally ones of a spider before she clung onto you, as you swung the two of you onto the roof of the warehouse.

The warehouse was huge, as you and Nat snuck in through the air ducts. You and Nat glance at each other, already discussing earlier how you want to split up the search. She extends her hand out for the two of you to do your secret handshake, in your own way telling one another to be safe, before she splits in the opposite direction from you.

Towards the back of the building, there was one of these hallways leading you into the next building over, so you quickly made your way through. You froze in your spot, your spidey senses tingling, and you could feel someone’s presence around you. Before you could dodge out of the way, the HYDRA agent launched himself at you, tackling you into the crates behind you, pain shooting through your spine. The shock of the attack paralyzed you for a second, before your spidey senses kicked in and you dodged the punch that was coming. You kicked the agent square in the chest, lifting yourself up in the process.

From the corner of your eye you could see a bomb strapped onto one of the SHIELD agents who recently joined, pressing your finger to your ear piece, “Nat! There’s a bomb! They knew we were coming! You need to get out of here!”

“There is no way I am leaving you!” She shouts, “Where in the warehouse are you? I’ll get to you!”

A sharp pain shot through your body, as the HYDRA agent pulled a knife out your side. You let out a yelp in pain before you webbed him onto the wall, “Y/N! What was that noise?!” Nat yells.

You shook your head even though she couldn’t see you, “Never mind that! Call Fury, tell him we need someone who can disarm this. There’s an agent strapped to it,” you rushed over to the panicked agent with his mouth covered in duct tape. Inspecting the wires and the time that read 4 hours, you didn’t notice the way he was thrashing about, like he was trying to warn you about something.

Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise filled your ears, causing you to flinch back. The red numbers, quickly turning to 30 seconds. Your eyes flickered to the trapped HYDRA agent who had the explosive trigger in his hand and a smug smirk on his face, “Hail Hydra,” he repeated, resting his head against the wall as he accepted his fate.

“Nat! You need to go now! Run! Please!” you frantically looked at the wires, trying to figure out how to disarm it. The SHIELD agent in front of you sobbing as he shook his head, looking at the time.

“You need to go too, Y/L/N!” Nat screamed into your ear piece., “Please, Wanda will never forgive me if you blow up right now! I will never forgive you!”

You pulled off the agent’s duct tape, “Hey! I need you to take a breath for me!” you rushed out, trying to get his attention, “Do you know how to stop this thing?” He shook his head frantically.

20 seconds.

“Alright, well I’m going to get this off of you and we’re going to get out of here together!” you quickly tried to untie the ropes that surrounded his wrists, mentally cursing yourself for not bringing a weapon other than your webs. Your side became more and more painful, but you needed to get both of you out of here.

15 seconds.

You frantically start to rip off all the duct tape that strapped the bomb to his clothing, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” you muttered to yourself over and over again.

“Y/N! I’m coming to you! Where are you?!” Nat’s insistent screaming in your ear piece only causes your heart to race more. You rip the bomb off of him and he exhales out a sigh of relief, as he stands up next to you, but immediately falls onto the ground.

You didn’t even notice the way his legs are bruised and broken, most likely from all the torture he endured from HYDRA. You wrap his arm around your shoulders, lifting him up with all the strength you can.

10 seconds.

In the corner of your eye, you notice how fast the clock was trying to tick down. The pressure of him leaning against your little wound caused you to hiss out in pain. You scramble towards the hallway, desperate to try and get out of this side of the warehouse. Your vision slowly became more blurry, yet the sight of your own blood staining your torn suit was so vivid.

4 seconds.

You hadn’t been able to get very far, even though it felt like you were miles away from the secluded corner. You had barely made it out of the room it was trapped in. It was as if a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped in your tracks. “What are you doing?!” your fellow agent yells at you, “Why are we stopping?!”

“There’s no way we can escape the bomb in time, but I can try and limit the explosion,” you tell him, trying to explain as calmly as possible.

You turn your bodies around, extending your wrists toward the bomb in the corner. You shoot your web…but nothing comes out. You flick your wrist again and again and again. Each time growing more frantic.

“You’re joking!” you exclaimed.

3 seconds.

“What?! What’s going on?!” the agent yelled.

You shook your head, “Forget that idea! We need to leave now!”

The two of you turned back around and you tried to run towards the end of the hallway as fast as you could. Ignoring the burning pain in your side and the weight of his body against yours. But it was too late.

It was the loudest thing you had ever heard. The echoing boom rang in your ears, as you collapsed onto the other side of the warehouse, as debris started falling all around you. Everything felt too bright as a hot stinging pain ripped through your whole body. You tried to get up, but felt a sharp sting in your leg. A piece of rubble that was on fire rested on the top of your leg, too heavy to move it out. Your eyes fluttered open and closed, slowly becoming heavier and heavier. A thick liquid pooled from underneath you. Nat’s red hair came into your blurry view.

Nat let out a soft gasp as she noticed how part of your face was burnt, “Hey Y/N, come on keep your eyes open for me, okay? The ambulance and the fire department are here. They’re gonna get you out of here,” she whispered, brushing your hair out of your face. But her rare soft voice did the exact opposite as it made your eyes grow heavier and heavier.

When the firemen got you out of there, you were hardly alive. Your breathing could barely be seen or felt, your throat and lungs burnt that you could barely inhale any air. Your heartbeat was irregular and often skipped. Your spandex suit was burned into your flesh and it was surprising that you could even be recognized by how severe some of your burns are.

Honestly, it was a miracle that you were still alive. Something the paramedics and firemen could barely understand.

Nat could barely look at you, she tried her hardest to stay strong, but an overwhelming sense of fear seeped into her bloodstream. While the paramedics struggled to keep you stable on the helicopter, Nat let tears fall onto her lap, looking out at the view. Only looking at you when a deafening beeping sound could be heard, right before you landed.

Your heart stopped beating.

Wanda’s knee bounced up and down all throughout the flight in the quinjet. Natasha hasn’t been giving them updates, there wasn’t much to give after she called you.

They managed to stabilize you, but it was all about if you were going to survive the night. Joining the Avengers came with loads of paperwork. One of them being, what would you want if you had extreme injuries. Basically a DNR form. You were indecisive, so you wrote out what you wanted. If something were to happen to you, you give the doctors 24 hours to do all they could, and if it didn’t work, well that’s when you call it quits.

SHIELD actually follows it very well, like the agent you saved? He wanted them to do everything they could to keep him alive. Everything. He did not want them to stop trying. So, after the doctors managed to stabilize you, they tried to take you off the ventilator to see if you would breathe on your own, but you crashed. You couldn’t do it. That’s when the countdown began, if they couldn’t get you off and breathing by yourself in 12 hours, per your request you want them to pull it.

A muffled sob escaped Wanda’s lips as she thought more about it. In 12 hours, she could lose the love of her life and the last time she saw her ended poorly.

Wanda takes the elevator up to the tower. Her breath smelling slightly of alcohol from her spontaneous night out with Vision. The two have been on mission after mission lately, so Vision thought it would be nice to have a break. She was going to go straight to her room, but she figured it would be best to get an Advil and water in her before she regretted the drinks in the morning. The elevator dinged and she stumbled through it and to the kitchen, where she found you. You were sitting in the darkness, the only light coming from the moon through the window sill. A couple plates of food sat in front of you as you sipped slowly on a glass of wine.

“Love? What are you doing? It’s late,” Wanda asked, snaking her hands around your neck from behind. She flinched back as you stood up, looking at her with a hard glare that she has never been on the receiving end of, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Last week, you promised that we would have a date night for my birthday. You and I have been so busy with missions and training, so when you didn’t show, I just assumed that you were running late with training. Then hours ticked by, and our teammates would come in and look at me with such sympathetic eyes because they knew how much this meant to me because that was all I would talk about for the last week. Peter even came by with a cake and sad eyes because he heard about what happened,” you ranted to her and Wanda looked to the ground in shame. “Yesterday was my birthday Wanda. Yet, you go out with Vision! Of all fucking people! You didn’t wish me a happy birthday, you didn’t kiss me, you didn’t see me all day! All because you were with Vision! And we all know how much you love his attention!”

The words fell from your mouth before you could even think about what you were saying, Wanda’s shame quickly turned to defensiveness as she stared at your tear stained cheeks, “I may have forgotten your birthday and I’m sorry, but is this really about forgetting your birthday or is this about Vision? It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“Yes, I’m jealous Wanda! And I have every right to be! You and Vision have some sort of connection because of a fucking stone implanted into his head!” You scream.

She shook her head, “He’s my friend, Y/N! Am I not allowed to have friends?”

“I never fucking said that you can’t have friends! Jesus Wanda do you hear yourself?” you bring your voice down to a softer tone, realizing that a screaming match isn’t gonna help fix this, “You forgot my birthday…the Wanda I fell in love with would have never done that. I don’t ask much of you. I just want to spend a couple days with my girlfriend and for her to remember my birthday. All I wanted was a kiss from her and for her to tell me that she loves me, yet you haven’t said that to me a lot recently. Look, I’m going on a mission with Nat in a couple hours. While I’m gone, I guess just think if you really want to be with me still.”

And you walked away without another word.

Of course, Wanda loved you. It was just the fear of the unknown that has made her put a wall up between the two of you. Everything and everyone she has loved, she has lost. Her parents, Pietro, it was only a matter of time before she lost you too. She doesn’t know what she’d do if she loses you.

Wanda bursts into the waiting room, met by several confused eyes from the staff and patients. Steve and Clint followed right behind her, the two of them more rational than she was. They ask for your room number and as soon as she hears the answer she sprints down the hallways and straight to your room.

Natasha sat in the corner of the cold room, watching distantly, like she was off on another planet. She didn’t even notice the Sokovian bursting in. Wanda’s eyes flash to you, your frail body lying in bed. All the color was drained from your face and a burn lingered along your cheeks. She inspected you further, noticing the burns that lingered all over your body. The beeping from the machines echoes in her ears as a wave of nausea overcomes her at the sight of a tube stuck in your throat. All she wants is to hold you, but she’s afraid that if she does you’ll crumble.

She took a seat next to you carefully reaching for your hand. She wanted to tell you that she loved you, that she needed you, and that she was sorry, “Hey Wanda,” Nat finally came to her senses, noticing her teammate sitting next to you.

“I didn’t know it was this bad,” her voice cracked, as hot tears blurred her vision.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t-“ Nat took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I couldn’t find her in time. I was trying to find her, to help her save the other SHIELD agent, but before I could, the bomb went off and she…I’m so sorry Wanda. I should’ve protected her. I couldn’t protect her.”

Wanda reaches for her hand, squeezing it, “It’s okay, Nat. You couldn’t have known,” Clint and Steve finally burst into the room. Clint immediately goes over to console his best friend, while Wanda turns her attention back onto you.

The doctor knocks on the door, giving all of you sympathetic smiles, “Hello everyone. Agent Y/L/N is in very critical condition. The injuries she endured have taken an enormous toll on her mental and physical health. It’s an absolute miracle that we were able to stabilize her. However, the burns and the stab wound are the least of our worries. The smoke inhalation caused her vocal chords to swell which may cause some permanent damage, but we had to do a tracheotomy to help her breathe.”

Wanda’s heart stopped, the reality and severity finally catching up to her. All of the things she dreamed of doing with you. The life you wanted to share with her. Another wave of nausea hit her like a freight train, “And per Agent Y/L/N’s paperwork with SHIELD, later tonight we’re going to try and see if she could breathe on her own and if not, she has asked us to pull the plug. If there’s anyone who’s not here, who you guys think would love to see her, I suggest calling them now,” he clears his throat, trying to stay professional. “I recommend trying to talk to her, coma induced patients tend to be more responsive when they hear their loved ones.”

With that, he leaves the room, a tense air filling the room once more. Steve clears his throat, ignoring the tears trying to swim in his ocean eyes, “I’m going to make some calls and ask if anyone would like to see Y/N. Tony will get them here as soon as possible.”

And just like that Avengers started swarming in like wildfire. Clint called Laura and brought the kids along with her, whenever Clint and Laura needed a date night you’d be there to help babysit the kids. So, to say you were an important part of the family was an understatement.

Tony and Pepper showed up with Peter. Tony and Bruce tried to talk to the doctor as much as they could, asking a million questions about what they’ve tried and what they haven’t tried to help your condition. Thor and Valkyrie even showed up from Asgard, just in case this was the last time they’d see you.

Wanda took a step back, allowing everyone who came to visit you to talk to you, to possibly say their goodbyes. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to you just yet. She watched as some people weren’t afraid to shed a tear, retelling some of their favorite memories with you. While others tried their best to stay strong, demanding you that you’d breathe on your own.

She watched as your room piled up with flowers in the worst way possible. Peter even brings you a small stuffed spider he got at the zoo. Her breathing became more uneven as she watched a usually strong Yelena shed a few tears for her chosen sister, Kate and Natasha, even having to console the younger Russian.

Wanda needed an out, she needed to get some air. Luckily, Bucky came around, “C’mon, let’s go for a walk. I think you need it.” The witch didn’t even hesitate as she just followed him through the door and out of the hospital. As soon as the cool air hit her face, she ran as quickly as she could to the nearby bush and started to empty whatever she had in her stomach.

Wiping the corner of her mouth, she sat next to Bucky on a nearby bench. Neither of them said anything and honestly it's what Wanda really needed. All Bucky did was rest his hand on her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze, before they sat and watched the cars zoom by.

They didn’t know how much time had passed before someone cleared their throat behind them. Steve had a sympathetic smile on his face, “Wanda, it’s almost time doctor said. If you wanna say something to her, now is the time.” Wanda turned to Bucky and he merely nodded in encouragement.

The Sokovian followed back to your room. Everyone must’ve gotten the message that Wanda was coming back, so they were all waiting in the waiting room when she walked in. She took the seat next to your bed, grasping your unusually cold hand.

“Y/N…” she trails off her voice immediately cracking, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I should’ve remembered your birthday. If you wake up, I promise I’ll remember everything. I’ll remember your beautiful eyes looking into mine, like we have our own secret club. I’ll remember the way you turn up the music on the weekend when I’m trying to sleep in and the way you’d jump on the bed and dance to wake me up. I’ll remember the way you’d squeeze my hand three times whenever you realize how anxious I’m getting or to just tell me that you love me.”

Her emerald eyes met the sea as tears filled them. She cupped your cold cheeks, smiling sadly, “I should’ve been honest with you and I should’ve just told you I was scared. I was scared to fall and lose you. But that does not beat how petrified I feel right now, Y/N. I prayed, Y/N. I never pray, I prayed to a God I stopped believing in when my parents were killed. I’m not saying goodbye to you, just yet. I just need you to know that no one else could ever save me, like you did. Not Vision. Not anyone else. You. You saved me and I can’t do this on my own. So, breathe Y/N. Please. You’re my lifeline.”

Yet another knock interrupted her thoughts as the doctor walked in. He smiled sympathetically with Steve, Clint, and Natasha right behind him. “It’s time,” he walks over to your bedside, throwing on gloves as he gets ready for extubation, “Just to explain what we’re looking for, if she can breathe on her own her breathing will look like she’s just sleeping. If her oxygen levels are normal, it means she’s okay. On the other hand, if she isn’t breathing on her own, she’d be gasping for air, and her mouth will be opening and closing like a fish out of water. Her oxygen levels will also be very low.”

All four of them nod, Nat grasping on to Wanda’s free hand, squeezing it tightly. The doctor slowly starts pulling out the tube and Wanda squeezes your hand three times, muttering a quiet please under her breath. All of them hold their own breath, which is ironic. Each one of them watches your chest rise and fall in anticipation.

For what felt like an eternity, the Sokovian felt a weak three squeezes come from your hand, causing her head to shoot up to look at your face. Your eyes flutter open as you stare into the eyes of the love of your life, “You made it,” she whispered under her breath and a tiny smile crossed your lips as you ran your thumb over the back of her hand.

“Hi Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you,” your doctor introduced himself. “We’re gonna recommend you can’t talk until directed to. We’re working on reducing the swelling in your vocal chords.”

You gesture for a pen and paper, your hands shaking slightly. He nodded, handing you a pen and a piece of paper before promising to check up on you later. In the scratchiest of handwriting, Wanda watched as you wrote a little note. A small gasp leaving her lips as you showed her, ‘You’re my lifeline too.’

Wanda rested her hand against your stomach as she cried happily into it. Your free hand that she wasn’t grasping reached for her head, running your fingers through her messy hair, in hopes to let her know that everything will be okay.

“I love you,” Wanda whispered to you.

And all you did was squeeze your hand three times.

#wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff imagines #a mediocre 2k party

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littlethingsinlife · 1 year

Text

i'm sorry (happier part 2)

A/N: I was not expecting the amount of positive feedback for the first part and I was even more surprised to see people asking for a part 2! It was originally created to be a one-shot but a part 2 really fit well with how the first one ended. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the love and support! I hope you all enjoy. I also want to thank my friend, @tummymoth, they really helped me flush out and refine my rusty ass writing (also let me word vomit at them till midnight sometimes).

Pairing(s): Past Lo’ak x Omatikayan!Reader, Ao’nung x Omatikayan!Reader, Slight mentions of Lo’ak x Tsireya

Warnings: Lo'ak's POV, Swearing, Ao'nung saying something sus ONE time

More Info: My vision for this part 2 was to create a reply in Lo'ak's pov. So we'll have a look at what he experienced and thought process (not too sure if any of that made sense) but I was inspired by Joshua Bassett's song "i'm sorry" and it played constantly as I wrote this. Hopefully I was able to do right by my idea haha.

Summary: 7,547

Part 1: Happier

Key:

(Y/N) = Your Name

Lyrics = Bolded Italics

Flashbacks = Italics

Na'vi Words:

Yuey - beautiful (refers to a person)

Skxawng - idiot/moron

Marui - Pods where the Na’vi live

Ilu - sea creature similar to dolphins

Ikran - dragon-like creature

Tulkun - sentient creatures similar to whales

Olo’eyktan - clan leader/ chief

I thought about what I would say

But I’m two years too late

I can’t imagine how you’re doing these days, hmm

Sure, it wasn’t perfect back then

I’ll be first to admit

But it was better than being strangers again, oh

It had been a couple of months since my interactions with (Y/N) dwindled to terse smiles and barely audible greetings. If you asked me to point out the moment our friendship started to change, I couldn’t tell you. When did our bond start to break? When did it even start to crack? We used to talk every day about all the things we did and planned what pranks to pull on everyone, but now? Now, she barely looked in my direction. Now, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

I couldn’t remember when it started, but I knew that it was somehow my fault I grew distant once we arrived in Awa'atlu. I guess I was just so fascinated by the new environment and people, I didn’t even realize a rift started to form between us in the first place, much less that it started to grow.

The night before we left to find a new home, I held (Y/N) as she let out sobs filled with fear and anxiety. It broke my heart, but all I could do was hold her and let her cry until she was calm enough to tell me what was on her mind.

“I-I am afraid, what if the sky people come to find us again? I cannot lose any of you; it would break me into a million pieces,” she sobbed.

“If they find us then we will fight and we will win,” I reassured her, gently rocking her back and forth.

“You are an idiot, I was so close to losing you, to losing Kiri, Tuk, how do you think it would make me feel to lose the most important people in my life?” she sniffled. My chest ached at how broken she sounded, but the only thing I could do was assure her and offer her more words of comfort as I held her in my arms.

“I promise that I will be with you throughout the journey as will my family. We love you, and even if you do not believe it, you are a Sully. And you know what my dad always says.”

“Sullys stick together,” we chorused.

That night, I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep.

Fuck, I completely broke my promise to her, how could I forget? Shaking my head, I tried to reason to myself, “Maybe she just needs time alone. I’m sure she’ll come running back soon once she realizes that it's no fun without me, her best friend.” I felt a small, unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Right?”

I’m drunk too late talking to the moon

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

“Bah! Stop lying, I know you (Y/N). You would have fought alongside me and defended Kiri. You are not the same girl I knew in the forest back home,” I muttered, rolling my eyes and getting up to leave. Honestly, who did she think she was fooling? The skxawng had the balls to insult Kiri, and all she did was sit back and watch. She didn’t even make a move to help until it was to help him by pulling me off. “Talk to me when you’ve come back to your senses,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to look back.

“Lo’ak! Bro—” a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, jolting me out of my daze, “why’re you just staring off like that?” I whipped my head to see who the hell it was that was bothering me, only to be met with Neteyam.

“Did you have to grab me that hard?” I hissed before my initial anger gave way to a heavy feeling. “It's nothing, just—just lost in thought” I sighed, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.

“Right, sure, nothing.” he crouched down beside me. “Don’t think you can lie to me lil bro, you’ve been spacing out more than you usually do. I didn’t even think it was possible to be more empty-headed than you already are,” he stated.

“Wha—no I haven’t,” I tried to argue, but of course, he wasn’t convinced.

“Can you stop arguing with me for once and just tell me what’s going on with you, you skxawng?”

I scrunched my nose in distaste and inhaled sharply, “(Y/N) and I have been… distant,” I admitted, turning to look at him. “She won’t even look at me. She either only answers me with one word or doesn’t answer at all.”

He nodded, motioning for me to continue.

“I—the last time we talked, I said things I didn’t mean. Things that just came out because I was so frustrated and… and angry. It was the heat of the moment and I—”

“What did you say skxawng, did you hurt her?” Neteyam interrupted, face twisting to show the beginnings of distaste.

“No, no—” I sputtered and raised my hands to calm him before he could go on an hour-long lecture that I absolutely was not in the mood to hear. “At least I don’t think I did… I just wanted to ask her why the hell she was helping fish lips, that’s all—”

“You didn’t answer me Lo’ak, what did you say to (Y/N)? I don’t care why you did it, I want to know what you said to elicit such a reaction from her.” By Eywa, if he would just give me a chance to get to the point—

“I—I told her that she was not the same girl that I knew back in the forest..." my ears lowered as the weight of what I said slowly sunk in. “And that she could talk to me once she came back to her senses,” I whispered, internally cringing at my harsh words..

“You fucking skxawng—”

“Can you stop calling me that? I already know, you don’t need to keep repeating it…” I scoffed, looking out into the ocean. I’m good enough at beating myself up over the hundreds of times I’ve messed up in this lifetime, I didn’t need another disappointed set of eyes on me.

My ears twitched at the deep sigh he let out. “Look, I’m sorry that I keep calling you skxawng but that is exactly what you are for saying something so hurtful to your best friend of all people. The two of you were inseparable the moment you were born. Even if you don’t want to, suck up your dumbass pride,” my ears flattened again. It wasn’t pride, I’m not prideful. It—it was me needing (Y/N) on my side. We used to always be on the same page, and when she said I was wrong for wanting to defend Kiri against those assholes, it felt like she was siding with them instead of me, and—

Okay, so maybe it was pride.

“Admit that you were wrong, and go talk to (Y/N),” Neteyam insisted as he put a reassuring arm around my shoulders, jostling me around to prove a point. “Your friendship is so much stronger and Eywa knows that a heat-of-the-moment argument isn’t going to break that. You should have more faith in her.” His gaze sharpened before he schooled his expression into something calmer. “Just talk to her, yeah?”

“...Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down whatever argument was trying to bubble up from my throat and prying his arm off me. “You’re right. I’ll just clear things up with her and apologize. Everything will go back to normal after that, thanks bro—for listening,” I agreed.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say They haunt me, oh

And I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

Our lessons on the ways of the Metkayina were finished, so it was rare for the entire group to be in the same place. But every once in a while, we all finished our chores at the same time and found ourselves near the shore where we first learned to ride the ilu, and sat around a fire hours before eclipse, laughing and exchanging stories.

The rarity of these moments made me cherish them that much more, but two people continued to miss our not-so-scheduled gatherings the past two moon cycles. How was it possible that they were the only two to keep missing our hangouts? Were they together? Fish lips had better not be doing anything to (Y/N) or so hel—

“(Y/N)! Ao’nung! You guys made it!” Rotxo laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, quit shouting will you?” Ao’nung shot back as he sat down next to Rotxo, (Y/N) smiling softly as she followed.

“So, what’ve you guys been up to? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ten moon cycles.” Neteyam questioned.

“Teyam, you saw me earlier today, you literally helped me feed our ikran,” (Y/N) joked. ‘Teyam? When did she start calling him by anything other than his given name?

Ao’nung swatted her side with his stupidly wide tail and swung an arm around her shoulder with a remarkably punchable smile on his face “More like he was trying to make sure you didn’t accidentally give them your fingers for breakfast. They would’ve gotten indigestion.”

“Haha very funny Ao’nung,” she drawled, “I would’ve fed you to Tekay instead, but she would’ve gagged the moment she caught a whiff of you,” she scoffed as she quickly pushed him away by the chest.

“Wait… Do they even have a gag reflex?” Fish lips didn’t budge, he just had a dumb look of confusion on his face.

“No, but they would defy the laws of biology to gag just for you,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue and moving to push him away again, but the skxawng had the nerve to pull her into a headlock.

“Oh, yuey, the ikran won’t be the only ones gagging on me tonight,” he argued with a smirk.

Did I want to punch that smirk off his face? Did I want to gag? Both? Before I could make a decision, (Y/N) grimaced, pushing him away again and smacking him upside the head.

“That’s actually repulsive. You’re disgusting.”

“Dude, keep it in your pants, her family is right there,” Rotxo laughed, doubled over as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Yeah, we’re right here,” I interjected with a smile—wanting to join in on the jokes that were being thrown around—but it was hard to keep my face from falling when I saw (Y/N)’s bright expression falter.

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about before Ao’nung and I arrived?” she asked in a too-bright tone of voice she only used when she desperately wanted to change the subject. As if everyone came to an unspoken agreement to forget about the conversation before, one by one they all started talking about who they thought would win in a fight—Toruk Makto, or our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari.

The sound of laughter and excited chatter faded as I replayed the previous conversation in my head. When did they start joking around like that? Why the hell did fish lips call her yuey like it was the most natural thing in the world? How come she smiled so easily with him but faltered when she sees me? She was probably smiling with him right now—

I looked over at her, a pit in my stomach already forming at the idea of her smiling at him, but she looked so distant, so withdrawn from everything around her. Before I could even blink, she put a delicate hand on Ao’nung’s arm to grab his attention and mumbled something in a hushed tone. After a few beats of silent conversation, Ao’nung nodded and gave her a look of understanding.

Why did he look at her like that? How much time did they spend together to be able to understand each other with just a look? How much time have I wasted breaking my promise to her while she grew closer to someone else?

Standing up, I made up my mind that I would talk to her and clear up any miscommunication. There was no way in hell I was about to let fish lips ruin our childhood friendship. Before I could even get close, Neteyam pulled me aside.

“Bro, why’re you glaring at everyone?” he asked with concern written all over his face.

“Glaring?” I tilted my head in confusion. “I’m not glaring, this is just my face.”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I’m your brother, I know your face. Whatever look you’ve been throwing at Ao’nung and (Y/N)? You may as well have been throwing knives at them.”

Behind Neteyam, I could see (Y/N) get up to bid everyone good night and slowly walk in our direction. This was my chance, I just needed this overbearing idiot to leave me alone.

“Whatever look you think I’m giving to them, you’re wrong,” I denied. “Can you not act like this right now?” My tail flicked side to side impatiently, an obvious twinge of annoyance clear in my tone. I licked my lips nervously as I could hear footsteps coming closer. Leaning slightly to the side, I looked behind Neteyam to see (Y/N) and—

Ao’nung? What? Why is he there?

“Good night,” (Y/N) muttered, not sparing us a glance as she walked past. I followed her every move and—as if everything slowed down—my eyes narrowed as they found Ao’nung’s hand placed on her lower back, leading her gently in the direction of the marui.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Though it's far too late

“I did it! Did you see that Reya?” I shouted—out of breath—as I showed off the shell Tsireya threw.

“Yes, yes you did it!” She exclaimed, excitedly wrapping her hand around mine. For someone who spent so much time underwater, her hand radiated so much warmth. So easy to hold. My heart swelled with pride as she continued to compliment me. “You’ve improved so much!”

“Yeah? Well, I had a great teacher,” I joked, nudging her softly with my shoulder. It wasn’t just her hands that were warm either, she just seemed to radiate it.

“Oh stop, you flatter me too much,” she denied, fidgeting with her hair. Was that a blush on her face? “C’mon, why don’t we catch up with the others? Private lessons are officially done for the day,” she announced as she led me to shore. Oh Eywa, she looked so pretty like this, with her hair flowing down her back and the way her eyes cast down when she became flustered. And her smile, it was a smile that could knock the air out of my lungs.

While we walked onto shore, we joked around and laughed with each other, talking about anything and everything. The ease of each reply and joke came as smoothly as gliding through the water on an ilu—as easy as breathing. Laughing at another one of Tsireya’s jokes, my eyes scanned the village as we approached it. Families were winding down for the day as they cooked dinner, although I didn’t see mine anywhere nearby aside from Kiri.

My smile slowly dropped when I was able to make out Kiri looking frantically around as if she was searching for someone. Tsireya and I made our way to her, worry filling the pit in my stomach. As we got closer, I could see Ao’nung climb down one of the roots of the Mangrove trees and make a beeline toward her. My eyes stayed on both of them, making sure that fish lips didn’t do anything to Kiri.

Ears twitching I was able to make out the words, “(Y/N)? Did you find her? ” from Kiri as they were carried on the wind toward us.

“Yeah I did, I was able to get her to eat, but she’s not looking too good,” Ao’nung replied with concern lacing his voice.

Brows furrowing, I pulled Ao’nung by the shoulder. “What do you mean she’s not looking good? Where is she? What did you do?”

“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit, freak.” I rolled my eyes at the insult. He couldn’t use that thick head of his to think of anything else to call me? From the pained look on his face, I could tell that my grip on his shoulder had too much pressure. Good. Served him right.

Before Ao’nung and I could continue our argument Kiri groaned, “Will the both of you skxawng shut up! I’ll go talk to her.” My eyes followed her retreating form as she went to talk to (Y/N)—tail lashing back and forth in agitation all the while—before turning back to Ao’nung.

Who the hell did he think he was? I’d beat his skxawng ass if he hurt (Y/N) in any way. He had no right to look so damn worried. They weren’t even close. What even happened? How long had she been missing for Kiri to go to fish lips of all people for help? Should I follow Kiri? Why didn’t (Y/N) come to me? She always came to me, and if she came to me now, I absolutely would have listened. Why—

“Lo’ak? Hey, are you okay? Lo’ak?” a hand softly placed itself on my arm. Closing my eyes in frustration, I sighed.

“Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Damn it, was that when it started? How idiotic and blind have I been that I didn’t even notice that her trust in me started to slip and die when it was right in front of me? Why didn’t I go to her and make sure she was okay? I should’ve punched that idiot’s lights out—

“Ao’nung! Stop pulling me you skxawng, you’re walking too fast, slow down!” a hushed voice chastised.

“C’mon yuey, we only have about an hour before eclipse, we have to hurry!” His voice grated against my ears as he responded.

“That’s plenty of time!” (Y/N) insisted. I could hear the laughter bubbling up in her voice as she chased after him. “Please Ao’nung slow down, I can’t keep up.”

“It can’t be helped, you’re so short—” a whack could be heard. “Ow!”

“I’m as tall as Tsireya, you giant!”

“Both you and my sister are short—Ow! Alright, just because you did that, you leave me no choice,” Ao’nung said, throwing (Y/N) over his shoulder with a laugh.

The bickering voices got closer, and my eyes narrowed at the way he held her. My breath hitched as he whispered something in her ear that made her ears perk up and her eyes widen. What the hell was he saying to her? Before I could spring up from my spot, Ao’nung tossed (Y/N) in the water, her yelp quickly interrupted by the sound of her body hitting the water.

I stayed in my spot as shock zipped through my body. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I held, her head popped out of the water, a playful glare on her face.

“I told you, you left me no choice,” he stated, guffawing at her expression.

“Oh yeah?” she groused, spitting out seawater as she wrung out her hair. “Well fuck you too. Help me out of here?”

“Only if you say the magic word,” he taunted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Otherwise, I’m afraid my hands are tied.”

“Please, oh great son of our Olo’eyktan, help me out of the ocean,” she beckoned dramatically, sarcasm dripping from every word while she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you recognized my proud lineage, forest dweller,” he said as his chest puffed out with a hand reaching towards (Y/N). And there was that stupid smile on his face.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand, making sure to tug with enough force to unceremoniously yank him into the water.

“So much for the son of a great warrior! Your instincts are shit!”

“My instincts are dull you say?” he questioned as his head popped up next to her. “We’ll see about that!”

“Wha—AHHH—'' she wheezed. “No, please Ao’nung stop! That tickles!” Her arms flailed wildly in an attempt to free herself from his grasp.

What the fuck.

My ears flattened at an angle as I tried to process the scene unfolding before me. When did she start laughing with him? That should’ve been me she was laughing with. Not him, not the skxawng who had been nothing but rude to us since we arrived. What… what was I even saying—Fuck I didn’t know anymore. Why did I feel like this every time I saw them together… laughing and making jokes like we used to?

And it was me, it wasn’t you

It’s cliche, but it’s true

I wasn’t thinking how I usually do, oh

And is your momma doing well?

Or does she still hate me?

But it was hard to watch me put you through hell

I’m drunk, too late, talking to the moon, ooh

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

Two weeks had passed since I started noticing the changes in (Y/N)’s relationship—friendship?—with Ao’nung. It was like every time I blinked, I could see her laughing loudly as Ao’nung tickled her with a triumphant smile on his stupid face. Since that day, I had been trying to find a way to talk to (Y/N), but she was never alone. She was always with him and when she wasn’t, she disappeared and I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked.

Now here I was, wandering around trying to look for her as I rehearsed what I wanted to tell her.

Where could she be? Dinner was in an hour and she wasn’t anywhere near our marui. I had to find her soon so there would be enough time for us to talk. I had to tell her that I miss her, that I was sorry for being so dumb, that I shouldn’t have let my pride blind me, and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said.

There was only one place I hadn’t looked yet… hopefully she was there.

As I was getting closer to the root Kiri stalked to, I could see two silhouettes beside each other. An all-too-familiar feeling bloomed in my chest once I registered that she was there with him.

Her melodic laughter made my steps falter. I clenched my fists tightly, contemplating if I should go over there and pull her away, force her to talk to me, to listen. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she looked so content, so happy.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me, oh

I know that I’m to blame

So, go ahead and

Blame it on me, oh

“Lo’ak? You said you were going to look for (Y/N) and never came back. She’s already in the marui helping mom cook,” Kiri stated, a twinge of annoyance lacing her voice. “Hey, are you listening?” She shook my arm slightly, making me jump out of my stupor.

“Yeah, sorry, you said dinner was ready?” I asked as I stared off.

The sand beside me crunched softly as Kiri made a move to sit beside me. “No, I said that (Y/N) is with mom helping her cook. Where is your head at?” she asked as she tilted her head to try and meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” The annoyance in her voice shifted to concern.

“I’m fine, yep—just… fine,” I brushed her off, hoisting myself up to head towards Mom and Dad for dinner before Kiri yanked me back down.

“Lo’ak, don’t pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is that’s occupied your mind lately.”

I inhaled sharply, debating if I should tell her what had been muddying my mind, the reason why I had been so spaced out, why I had been glaring daggers at fish lips each time I saw his stupid face next to (Y/N)—how confused I was.

“Stop with the thinking skxawng, you might hurt yourself,” she admonished. “Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t handle it.”

Huffing, I rolled my eyes and turned away from her to look at the sea. I hadn't even said anything yet and Kiri was already making me feel idiotic. How was I supposed to tell her what's been going on like this? Maybe if I kept quiet for long enough, she would get tired of waiting for me to start talking and go on to eat dinner without me.

A couple of minutes of silence passed.

I could still feel her staring at me.

“I’ve—I’ve been conflicted,” I started, tongue feeling heavy in my mouth as I continued to stare at the shoreline. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“What do you mean?” Kiri nudged my shoulder with hers. “Elaborate a little more, I can’t help if you don’t tell me the reason why you’re feeling confused.”

“...Whenever I see (Y/N) with Ao’nung, it’s as if I can feel my heart aching,” I said, motioning toward my chest to prove my point. “There’s always a… a surge of anger that rushes through me. All I want to do is pull her away from him so then everything can go back to the way things used to be—for us to be okay.”

“Lo’ak…” If I was looking at her, I’d probably see Kiri tilt her head with sympathy. But sympathy isn’t what I needed right now.

“I want her to look at me and smile, to laugh with me, hug me—but now, whenever I get close to her, she’s next to him, laughing with him, cracking the jokes we would make to each other… I just—” I rubbed at my face in frustration. It wasn’t as if the words were hard to come by—I had spent so much time bottling them up that it was hard to stop talking. No, I just hated the fact that I felt this way in the first place. “I don’t understand why seeing them makes me feel like my heart is about to explode—why it makes me want to scream. It hurts.”

“Lo’ak” she put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you—are you in love with (Y/N)?”

Love?

I sputtered in surprise and whipped my head toward Kiri to see if she was joking or not. What kind of a sick question was that? I wasn’t in the mood for any games.

“What? No, she’s like my… sister?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “If you’re not, then why does seeing her with Ao’nung hurt you so much? Why do you care as much as you do?”

“I shouldn’t!” I wrenched my shoulder away from her hand and stood up. The need to move around and do something—anything—was too much. There was too much energy thrumming right beneath my skin to sit still anymore.

“That’s the problem! After everything I said to her, done to her? I don’t have the right to say I’m in love with her. She’s my childhood friend, Kiri. That’s all our relationship has ever been… I just—” I paused in thought and tried to calm down. “I didn’t realize seeing her have so much fun with someone else would make me feel so, so hollow—”

“Let me ask you something, you have to promise to be completely honest with me, okay?”

I nodded, not even looking in her direction.

“When (Y/N) tried to pull you off from Ao’nung that one fight months ago, what did you feel? Angry? Betrayed? Jealous?”

Jealous? Did she really think I was sulking for months because of such a petty feeling? I’m not a jealous person. I never have been.

“Seeing her jump in to get me off him made me feel like she was siding with him and telling me that I was wrong. Her actions were clear as day to me, Kiri.” I started to pace around. “She was protecting him—caring for him when she should’ve been next to me, helping and supporting me. When she did that—I felt like the only person that’s ever been on my side—” I croaked and turned my head to look at Kiri as tears stung my eyes “The only person who didn’t see everything I did as some sort of disappointment or failure, abandoned me and chose someone else.”

“...”

“I know that I could’ve approached her a different way but how could I when I felt so broken?” I inhaled sharply, eyebrows furrowed. “ It’s all fish lips’ fault. If he wasn’t such an asshole, none of this would have happened, and (Y/N) and I would still be the same, she would still be by my side—supporting me, loving me.”

“Why do you keep blaming it on Ao’nung?”

“Because it is his fault that things have turned out the way it has.” I threw my hands up, exasperated. What wasn’t Kiri getting? “He’s getting in between my relationship—er—friendship with (Y/N)! If he wasn’t there I would be able to talk to her and tell her I’m sorry, but she’s always with him—”

“Stop! Are you hearing yourself?” She nudged at my foot to interrupt and scoffed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? (Y/N) told me what you said to her, how ‘she wasn’t the same girl’ you knew back in the forest. Do you know what happened when you told her that? Do you know how much pain she was in?”

Pain? I snorted, turning towards Kiri. “Now I know what you’re saying is bullshit. You know how (Y/N) is—if she really was pissed at me she would’ve come to me instead of running to someone else.”

“She wasn’t pissed. She cried because of you, Lo’ak. Because of what you said.” I stopped dead in my tracks to look at her. Kiri's eyes didn’t waver. Another heavy feeling settled on my chest and clawed its way up my throat. If you had asked me what it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Was I sad? Guilty? Angry? Was I jealous like she said?

I settled on anger.

“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”

“The person that found her that night, the one who comforted her? That was Ao’nung. He held her in his arms as she sobbed when I found them.” She stood up too, forcing me to stop pacing.

“The last thing I want to hear about right now is him, Kiri. What the fuck—”

“Did you ever think about why she’s so comfortable with him now? Why they’re so close? While you ignored her for weeks, he made sure she was okay—made sure she ate every day. He didn’t leave her side until she finished,” Kiri pointed out, and before I could even think to open my mouth to remind her how shitty he was to her especially, she cut me off. “Yes, he was an asshole at the beginning, and yes he has a screwed-up way to show he cares, but he stepped up when you fucked up.” She poked my chest with a glare before she continued.

“Oh, so I’m a fuck-up now?” I asked wryly.

“You can’t put all the blame on someone that took care of your best friend. Stop being so blinded by your pride and hatred and see that you’re the real reason why your relationship with (Y/N) isn’t the same as it used to be.”

My heart sank a little more as I scrambled for something to say. “How could you say that—”

“No, you do not get to interrupt me right now, Lo’ak.” Her eyes flashed with something closer to anger than annoyance. When was the last time I saw her angry? “Listen and listen well. When we couldn’t find (Y/N) and we were looking for her everywhere—he was the one that found her spot, the one she isolated herself to so she could cry alone, and no one would see how much pain she was in. And what were you doing in the meantime?”

My ears flattened at her rising tone, and I was finally beginning to understand the weight stuck in my throat and chest. Not anger, not even jealousy.

“You were out there with Tsireya, stuck in your own little world.”

It was my fault.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that you found her but you can’t have both of them. You can’t be that selfish. From (Y/N)’s perspective, you’ve already chosen the one you want.”

“It’s not like I’ve actually chosen anyone yet,” I tried to interject, but all the fight had left my voice as Kiri’s words dug into my skin and sunk in.

“Don’t you dare play with either of their feelings. (Y/N) held so much love for you in her heart, she allowed herself to break to the point of no repair because she didn’t want to show you how much it hurt her to see you at your happiest with Tsireya.” She paused before continuing, her voice losing its edge. “Let her move on, brother. And if it’s Ao’nung that makes her light up the way she used to, then you suck it up and let him. He was there when your pride wouldn’t even let you apologize or even look in her direction. Actually think about how she feels for once.”

I hated the fact that there wasn’t anything I could say to prove her wrong.

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about nowadays,” I muttered.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

I’m sorry, hmm

I’m sorry

Though it’s far too late

“I thought I was already doing that,” a faint voice huffed in annoyance. Turning the corner, I saw Ao’nung and (Y/N) standing on the beach together— far too close for my liking.

“You were, but you got sloppy. Here, you have to move your hips like this,” he said as he corrected her posture. My ears flattened against my head as he put a hand on her hip and gently directed her movement.

Why did he look so gentle with her?

“Ao’nung,” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, clear as crystal despite her uncertain tone. “Are you sure you should be teaching me this? This is a traditional Metkayina dance, right? I’m…” she hesitated, her voice becoming smaller. “I’m not Metkayina—”

“Yet.” He interrupted, holding her face in his hands. “You are not Metkayina yet. Once you become one of us, you will have to learn the dance to celebrate the return of our spirit brothers and sisters, so why not learn that now?” I hated how reassuring his voice was. The thought of how either of their eyes looked as they held contact made my stomach turn.

“Yeah… you’re right,” she mumbled with an unsure look on her face.

“Woah, hey pretty girl, look at me,” he insisted, laying his hands on her shoulders and bending his neck so they were at eye level. “I’m serious when I say you will become Metkayina one day, so don’t worry yourself over it right now. Okay?” Ao’nung tilted his head to the side, an unbelievably soft expression on his face. “You have me here to help you.”

“Alright…” (Y/N) mumbled, not convinced.

“If you don’t get rid of that look on your face I’ll throw you into the water,” he said as his face shifted from sincerity to something mischievous. “Or worse… I’ll tickle you,” he threatened.

“You better not Ao’nung, or I swear to the Great Mother herself I will hu—AHH—get away, you skxawng!'' She laughed as she tried to run away, but Ao’nung grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into his arms. And despite her words of protest, it was clear as day that she was leaning into him while they scuffled on the sand.

“No!” she shrieked with glee. “You can’t make me go in there again!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, forest dweller!”

A thought occurred. Should I go up to them? We never got the chance to talk, after all. I took a few steps in their direction before freezing. When was the last time I heard her laugh like that? She had the biggest smile on her face, and the one who made that happen wasn’t me—it was him.

And if you ever hear this

I hope you know that

I’m not proud of who I’ve been, ooh

And if I see you again

I hope you know that

I wish you nothing but the best

And my biggest regret

The afternoon was quiet, relative silence only interrupted by the crashing of waves. Without much to do, I just sat in our marui and lazed around with Tuk until a horn blew.

“The tulkun have returned! Everybody—our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya’s voice rang out, and when I poked my head out to see what the fuss was about, I saw the megawatt smile on her face, as she swam by on her ilu.

The village came to life as everyone mounted either ilu or canoe to make their way to the tulkun. From here, I could see little more than a large group of dark shapes making their way through the water. Payakan himself was dauntingly huge, but to see a whole pod of them show up like this? It was spectacular. I watched the commotion unfold from one of the walkways, lost in thought before I felt water splashing at my feet.

“Come on Lo’ak! Don’t just stand there, let’s go see the tulkun together!” Tsireya urged, still smiling. Shaken out of my stupor, I grinned widely—diving into the water and clambering onto her ilu. lu may be lithe animals, but I could still feel sinuous muscle under velvety skin as it made adjustments in the water to keep balance.

“I’ll come, but only if you’re offering a ride,” I joked, gently holding her waist and playfully leaning onto her. The cool water around us made her skin feel that much warmer. It was nice.

Before I could see her reaction—I would’ve bet anything at that moment that her cheeks had become flushed—we began to quickly make our way toward the rest of the clan and the giant tulkun.

The air around me vibrated with the excitement and happiness of loved ones returning, and Tsireya was no exception—the speed of the ilu gave away her eagerness to be with her spirit sister. As we leaped into and out of the water, Tsireya’s laughter was carried by the wind and reached my ears. That, and the answering whoops and bellows of Metkayina and tulkun alike, was almost contagious enough to get carried away by the energy surrounding us.

“My spirit sister is down there,” she said as she dismounted, sliding off her ilu and into the water. “Wait here, yeah?” she smiled at me before diving down.

I was more than happy to watch the Na’vi around me. Looking around, I was in awe of the sheer amount of tulkun gathered in one area, and how each Metkayina was able to identify their spirit sisters or brothers so easily. Looking down into the shifting waters, I saw Tsireya catching up with her spirit sister, waving her hands around and swimming through the water alongside her.

All around, I could hear people telling stories and the deep, booming calls of the tulkun as they responded with tales of their own. New parents were showing their babies and calves, and as my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see small children holding onto the tulkun’s fins as they were lifted to the glittering ocean surface.

Not too far away, I heard the sound of a body hitting the water and the sound of grating, but familiar laughter along with an indignant (Y/N) sputtering.

“Ao’nung, what the fu—”

“Hey, hey, relax! It’s just some water. There are children here, yuey,” Ao’nung chided with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“The parents of those children are going to have to explain what it means to return to Eywa once I’m through with you,” she retorted, treading water and becoming even more unamused when he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Woah there pretty girl, you’re talking to the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora—”

“That’s funny, I don’t see Neteyam here,” she interjected, pretending to search the waters around them before turning back to Ao’nung and tilting her head, “do you?”

“Just because you said that you can have fun finding your own way back to shore,” he said as he turned his ilu around.

“Oh, c’mon Ao’nung, don’t be like that,” she rolled her eyes and reached a hand towards him. “You’d really leave me here to fend for myself?”

He turned and wagged a disapproving finger at her, “I’ll consider forgiving you if you say word-for-word that I’m the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora. I can’t have you slandering my father’s name, yuey.” She groaned and leaned back into the water.

“You couldn’t pay me enough to say that load of bull—”

“Nope!” he didn’t give her a chance to defile the ears of any nearby children and crossed his arms. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“...”

“I’m still waiting.”

With a sardonic smile, she finally caved. “Why don’t I do you one better? You’re the mightiest warrior to exist since the time of the First Songs,” she declared, sarcasm dripping from every word as she slapped at the water for emphasis.

“That’s what I thought, was that so hard?” Even if I wasn’t able to see them, I still would have been able to hear the stupidly wide smile that made its way across his face.

“Don’t be such a big baby and let me meet your spirit brother!”

“Just because he’s here to visit today, I’ll let that one slide for now.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes, dismounting his ilu to join (Y/N). “Now hold on tight and hold your breath like how we practiced.”

We? Who the fuck was we? Why was he allowing her to meet his spirit brother? Why were they looking at each other like that?

I watched both of their silhouettes submerge and breathed deeply, forcing my thundering heart to calm as I slowly sank my head into the water. At first, all I could see were blobs floating around in the water, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the fluid movement of Ao’nung talking to his spirit brother. Eyebrows furrowing, I swam a little closer and hoped that I would be able to see what was being signed. With each movement made, it was clear that Ao’nung was translating the clicks and bellows of the tulkun to (Y/N), and whatever was being said made her smile widen by the second.

I couldn’t watch anymore as my chest burned from the lack of air and I resurfaced to catch my breath. For once, I was thankful for the lack of lung capacity I had. I climbed back onto Tsireya’s ilu. Seeing as she wasn’t back yet, I sat back and leaned on its neck to face the sky.

Did she always glow like that when she smiled? Whenever she was with him—she always looked so happy, so vibrant. Would she have looked like that with me by her side if I didn’t push her away? If I was there for her like I had promised? I wanted to tell her sorry—that I was sorry for taking our friendship for granted, for making her go through it alone. I wish that it didn’t take seeing her smile and laugh with someone else to make me realize how I felt.

I willed my tears to go away.

Is this how she felt? Seeing me with Tsireya? Great Mother… I was truly horrible, wasn’t I? I wished things turned out differently. Maybe in another universe, I did talk to her—realized sooner, made her happier—but now? Right now, my heart was torn in two, watching as someone else picked up the pieces of the heart I crushed. No amount of words could fix what we used to have, and even though I wanted to whisk her away, tell her I love her—that I see her—that seeing her with him made my skin crawl, I knew I couldn’t. I was no longer worthy to be part of her life, because of me and my actions alone.

I had become nothing but a stranger.

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say

They haunt me

I know that I’m to blame

So go ahead and

Blame it on me, ooh

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

Hmm, I’m sorry

Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’m sorry

Taglist: @midnightliacr @immortalbloodhuntress @arminsfloll @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @dakotali @lexilander27 @zatarias-pandora @vanillawhale @kazupop @owaowaowawa @sopiasleeps @siabhshjsjsjsjshznzn @jimfiqs @ihave500hubbiez

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justabigassnerd · 11 months

Text

Finally Free

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Word count - 4,085

Warnings - Jake reminisces on his shitty childhood, allusions to abuse, Jake briefly mentions death, angst and fluff

Summary - Jake surprises you with tickets to see one of your favourite singers in concert and finds a few of the songs more relatable than he anticipated

A/N - hey y'all it's ya girl coming at you with yet another part of the Hangman junior universe! this is a part I came up with and got way too in my own head and excited about so I just ran with it (sorry not sorry). most of the songs I mention in this fic can be found on this post here so please check them out if you have the chance! anyway, as per y'all please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

You had been a fan of Joshua Bassett since you first discovered him in the High School Musical series on Disney Plus. Jake had gotten used to hearing the occasional song of his on your playlist as you got ready for your day. So, when Jake found out that Joshua Bassett was going on a tour and would be making a stop in San Diego, he got online as soon as he could and bought tickets to the concert. He was only able to get two tickets to the concert, but Bradley reassured Jake that he’d find something to do with his day and it would do the two of you good to have a father-daughter day out.

When Jake told you he managed to bag tickets to the concert, he was fully convinced he had never been trapped in a tighter hug than he had at that moment. You thanked him over and over again excitedly as Jake hugged you tight. You were so grateful for your dad taking time out of his day to buy you tickets to see your favourite singer live.

When the day of the concert came around, you were bouncing off the walls. You had played Joshua Bassett’s music as you got ready for the day. Jake made breakfast downstairs as you got ready, and he couldn’t help but grin as he heard you singing along.

“Sounds like I’m not missing out on this concert. I’m getting my own private performance.” Bradley says with a smile as he presses a kiss to Jake’s cheek before squeezing past to make himself and Jake a coffee. Jake chuckles as Bradley pours out the coffee and Jake begins plating up breakfast just as you come downstairs.

“Excited by any chance, kiddo?” Jake teases as you enter the kitchen, immediately grinning awkwardly at his words.

“Maybe a little.” You say sheepishly, taking the plate Jake holds out towards you and thanking him with a smile before heading to the kitchen table to sit down and eat your breakfast as the two men sit down and join you.

“I’m thinking we go to town for lunch and then head to the venue. I know that people like to line up and wait before the show starts. You probably want a good spot, especially because you’re standing.” Jake says to you after a mouthful of food, making you look up at him in shock.

“Dad, you really don’t have to stand in line for hours just because you’re taking me to see one of my favourite singers.” You start, not wanting to make your dad do anything for your sake.

“y/n, I don’t mind. This concert is a big thing for you, so I want you to have the best possible time and if that means I have to stand in line for a few hours, so you have a good view then so be it. I can always go for a little walk or something if I need to.” Jake says with a smile, wanting you to know that you’re not forcing him to do anything.

“If you’re sure.” You mumble, picking up your glass of water and taking a sip.

“Oh, I’m sure kid.” Jake says, reaching out to ruffle your hair despite your protests. When you all finish breakfast, you gather up all the plates and put them in the dishwasher before heading into the living room to chill out before you leave the house. You chat with Bradley and your dad in the living room until it nears lunch time and Jake checks his watch, causing him to stand up.

“Come on y/n/n, let’s go.” Jake says, making both you and Bradley stand.

“Are you going to be okay, Bradley?” You ask, a small guilt creeping in at leaving Bradley alone for half the day.

“I’ll be fine, kid. Mav said he needed some help with some repairs and then after me and the other Daggers are heading to the Hard Deck.” Bradley says, bringing you into a quick hug before releasing you and letting you grab your bag and go with Jake. You climb into the passenger seat of your dad’s truck as he gets behind the wheel.

“Where do you want to go for lunch? Your pick.” Jake says as he starts up the engine and pulls out of the drive. You told your dad where you wanted to go for lunch as he nods with a smile, glancing at you briefly before returning his attention to the road. Jake drives until he finds a car park close to the venue and parks, turning off the engine before both of you climb out of the truck.

“Let’s get something to eat, kiddo.” Jake says with a grin, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as both of you begin the walk to the place you wanted to get food. When you arrive, you find somewhere to sit and look over the menus. Jake lets you order whatever you want, insisting you’ll need the energy for the concert. When you finish your food and drinks, Jake pays for the meal and then the two of you leave the restaurant and make your way to the venue. You find the end of the line and join it, being soon approached by someone with a sharpie who writes your number in line on the back of your and Jake’s hands. As they move away, you glance down at your hand, seeing a bold ‘89’ staring back at you while your dad had ‘88’ on the back of his hand.

“We made it in the top one hundred, I consider that a win in my book.” You say with a grin, looking up from your hand to where your dad was standing alongside you.

“It is impressive, isn’t it?” Jake chuckles as you nod. You find yourself talking to other people in the line while Jake texts Bradley and Coyote. As you wait in line, both you and Jake get given little hearts to hold up during one of the songs and you gush about the creativity as you admire the little heart in your hand.

The hours you are lined up outside fly by and before you know it, you were waiting the last few minutes for the doors to open. Jake pulls up the tickets on his phone while you prepare yourself to be inside.

“Okay, some quick stuff before we go in. I’ll hang back and you can go in the standing area, I’ll stand somewhere where you’d be able to find me easily. And if you’re in the standing area and people start to push and you feel unsafe, you get out of there immediately. I know you want to see this guy, but your safety is more important, okay? You get out and you find me.” Jake says, looking down at you, gauging your reaction.

“I will, dad.” You say, looking up at him before the line begins to move and the two of you are ushered into the venue where your tickets are scanned, and your bag is checked. As soon as you both make it through the security, you head into the venue, immediately locating the merchandise stand and treating yourself to a t-shirt and a hoodie that are put into your bag before you turn to your dad.

“Go on y/n/n, find yourself a spot. I’ll see you after the concert.” Jake says with a soft smile, giving you a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of your head before releasing you and letting you head into the standing area. Jake headed to the railing just in front of the bar and before the main standing area. He could see you excitedly taking in the stage and lights as he watched with a smile. Jake never got to go to concerts when he was younger, his parents thought they were a waste of time and money and even when he started to sneak around a lot more during his high school days, he never got to go to a concert and then almost the second he graduated, he became a father, so he never got the chance to attend a concert. In fact, this concert would be the first concert he ever attended in his life.

“Your kid drag you here too?” Jake is shaken out of his thoughts by a middle-aged man joining him at the railing, leaning against it.

“I wouldn’t say she dragged me. I got her the tickets as a surprise.” Jake says, glancing over at the man.

“Ah. My daughter was begging me for ages for these tickets. She’s been helping her mother and me a lot with the new baby, so I figured she earnt this.” The man says with a slight shrug before introducing himself as Mark and Jake introduces himself in return.

“y/n mentioned the concert once and I figured with everything that’s been going on recently, she earnt a fun night out.” Jake replies, thinking of everything that’s happened in recent months.

“What kind of stuff happened?” Mark asks, looking at Jake curiously.

“Just deployment stuff, the Navy’s been keeping me busy recently and I felt bad.” Jake was lying through his teeth. He hadn’t been deployed in ages, but he wasn’t about to spill all of his life drama to someone he had only just met.

“Ah, a Navy man. Thank you for your service. I wanted to join the Army when I was younger, but some football injuries meant I never passed my medical.” Mark chuckles, leaning against the railing and surveying the crowd in front of him.

“Sorry to hear that, man. But at least that injury saved you from working in the Army, now that’s a fate worse than death.” Jake chuckles, making Mark laugh and shake his head jokingly. The two men continue to chat as the auditorium fills up until the lights dim for the open act to come on stage. Jake didn’t know who the opening act was, but he thought her songs were good and she had a beautiful singing voice. He and Mark applauded her and exchanged an impressed look with each other as she walked off stage as the lights came up and music began playing over the speakers. Jake had completely lost sight of you in the crowd as it had filled up and he couldn’t help the nervousness that rose within him at the number of people that were surrounding you. He knew you were more than likely okay, and that you’d get out of the crowd if it was too much, but he couldn’t stop his dad mode from going crazy knowing you were in the crowd somewhere. Jake dug his phone out of his pocket and took a picture of the large crowd and sent it to Bradley, typing out a message to go along with it.

‘Our kid is in there somewhere.’

He hits send on the message and shoves his phone back into his pocket, focusing his attention on the crowd as they chatted amongst each other and sang along to the songs that played on the speakers.

When ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ by One Direction came on, you and everyone who filled the venue started to sing along loudly to the whole song, dancing around as you sang along. When the song ended, the house lights dimmed once more and the auditorium erupted into cheers as the band began to step onto the stage, situating themselves in position with their instruments as the audience cheered. Soon, they began playing and Joshua Bassett came running onstage, singing the first song of many as you and the audience sang along loudly, a large smile covering your face as you watch one of your favourite singers sing his heart out to the audience, a smile on his face as he does so.

As Jake watches from the back, he couldn’t help but bob his head to the music, a small smile slipping onto his face as he watches Joshua Bassett hold the hands of some fans in the front rows, singing and smiling as he takes in the view of the packed auditorium. Jake enjoyed the first few songs, finding them upbeat and well-written. But when he watches the young singer cross to the piano for the second time, the song he plays evokes a different reaction than he was expecting. He listened carefully to every word that left the singer's mouth, realising more and more just how much he could relate to the song. When Joshua Bassett sang about being told by his father not to cry in front of his mother, Jake couldn’t help but think about how a similar situation had happened in his youth.

Jake was no older than five years old, he had made his way into his house with a large grin on his face and a paper in hand. He approached his parents and held the paper up for them proud to show off the drawing he had done of his family.

“What the fuck is this, Jacob?” His father had spat harshly as he held the paper in his hand, eyes squinted in disgust as he stared down at the picture.

“You should be focusing on your studies, not on silly things like drawing.” His mother scolded, both parents staring down at Jake disapprovingly before his dad ripped the paper in two, making tears well in the five-year-old’s eyes.

“Stop crying, boy. It’s time you grew up. But if you keep acting like this, I will give you something to cry about.” His father threatened, making Jake dart off upstairs into his bedroom to curl up under his duvet and hope his father didn’t come in search of him.

Jake shakes himself out of his thoughts so he could focus back on the concert, but it was like every lyric of this song was written about Jake’s life. He found it almost eerie that almost every word was written just for Jake. As he listened to the song, hearing lyrics about wanting to escape LA, Jake couldn’t help but think about how he longed to escape his hometown when he was younger. He put his whole heart and soul into his studies so he could ensure he got a spot in the Navy so he could get away from his family. When he found out Lauren had gotten pregnant, he immediately worried about being stuck in his hometown until he found a chance to move. He had figured Lauren wanted to stay put while he trained in the Naval Academy before she followed him around anywhere but since she left mere months before he was due to leave for the academy, Jake had to take you with him. But he didn’t regret it. He never would regret taking you and getting the hell out of Texas. When the song ended, Jake applauded as he blinked back the potential tears that could well in his eyes. The next songs that played Jake was able to enjoy more but when he listened to the lyrics of one of the songs, he realised that he could relate to and enjoy the song. He had been able to break away from the bad stuff from his childhood and be free at last. He didn’t need to worry about his past anymore because he had escaped it and was in a much better place than he was before.

The next few songs that played were mostly cutesy love songs, they had never been Jake’s scene, but he still appreciated the effort that went into making the music in the first place. After playing a song in amongst the audience, Joshua Bassett made his way back to the stage and sat himself on a stool as he told everyone a story about how he had almost died and how his mother had gotten to his side as quickly as she could. He talked about how in that whole situation, his mother had acted as his lifeline and how he wrote the song because of her. Jake noticed that as the song started, everyone in the audience was holding up the little hearts they had been given in the line and so dug his one out of his pocket and held it up. He continued to listen to the music until one lyric hit him like a ton of bricks.

“We hardly say I love you, ‘cause your parent’s parents never did.”

Jake could’ve sworn he stopped functioning entirely upon hearing that lyric. He started to think about you, somewhere out in that crowd. Did you relate to that lyric? Did you think Jake didn’t tell you he loved you enough? Jake knew his parents never told him they loved him, probably because their parents never did the same for them. But Jake had sworn that he would never let you feel unloved or unwanted at any point in your life and hearing this song made him second guess everything he ever did as your father. This time, when the tears came, Jake could do very little to prevent them and so let them roll down his cheeks freely until the song ended. He lowered the hand that held the heart up proudly and wiped his face with the other, blinking rapidly.

“You okay?” Mark asks, leaning close so Jake could hear him over the cheers of the crowd.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jake reassured, continuing to wipe at his face until he was sure his face was clear of any tears. As he wiped the last of the tears away, he promised himself that he’d tell you he loved you more often. He never wanted you to feel like he didn’t love you. Jake had managed to compose himself enough as it was announced that Joshua Bassett would be singing a cover and he encouraged his audience to sing along, assuring them that they’d definitely know the words. As he begins to sing ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ by Elvis Presley, Jake felt a smile creep onto his face at the familiar song. He knew Bradley grew up loving Elvis songs, always telling Jake how the songs reminded him of his beloved parents. Jake pulled his phone out of his pocket and filmed the chorus, making sure to send the recording to Bradley for him to enjoy. Jake allowed himself to sing under his breath as this song played. Remembering how he and Bradley had danced to this song late at night in the kitchen.

The rest of the concert flew by, the audience getting treated to not one, but two covers and an unreleased song before the encore happened. When the concert had finished for real, and the audience began to file out of the venue, Jake straightened up, eyes immediately scouring the auditorium to find you. When he spotted you, he threw a hurried goodbye over his shoulder to Mark and rushed over to you.

“Hey, y/n/n.” Jake greets as he wraps his arm around your shoulders securely to protect you from the jostling and shoving of other audience members. It was taking Jake everything within him to not swear at people who shoved at both you and him in your attempt to leave the venue.

“You okay? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Jake asks once you reach his truck in the car park, holding you by the shoulders and checking you over carefully as if an injury would leap out of nowhere if he looked hard enough.

“Dad, I’m okay. No injuries here. Well apart from a sore throat.” You say with a laugh as you reassure your dad that you didn’t sustain any injuries during your time at the concert.

“Alright, hop in and let’s head home.” Jake says with a soft smile as he unlocks the truck, rounding the truck to get behind the wheel as you climb in the passenger seat and plug your seatbelt in.

“Did you have a good night?” Jake asks over the gentle rumbling of the engine, seeing you practically curled up in the seat beside him, exhaustion clearly setting in fast.

“The best night. Thank you, dad.” You mumble, looking over at your dad with a tired grin as you attempted to curl up further in the seat. The rest of the drive back was silent, only filled with the rumbling of the engine and the radio playing quietly in the background. Jake soon pulled into the driveway and both you and him got out of the truck and headed up to the house. Bradley had left the outside light on as well as the upstairs and downstairs hall lights on. You and Jake ease your shoes off and make your way upstairs after turning off the outside light and the downstairs hall light. You make your way into your room while Jake heads into his and Bradley’s room. Bradley had left the small lamp on Jake’s bedside table on to save Jake from fumbling around in the dark and Jake took a moment to drink in the sight of his husband sleeping peacefully. He admired the way he was curled up underneath the duvet and how soft puffs of air escaped his lips every so often. Jake got changed into a pair of sweatpants and shed his top before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As Jake re-entered the hallway, he made his way to your bedroom door, knocking quietly and asking if he could come in, only entering when he got permission. He heard the faint sounds of the concert coming from your phone as you smiled at him from where you were lying in your bed.

“Watching videos back already? It’s not even been an hour.” Jake chuckles as he makes his way over to you, perching on the edge of your bed.

“Just missing it already.” You shrug unapologetically, shuffling towards your dad as he opens an arm for you to cuddle into him. You spend a moment in your dad’s embrace, savouring the silence before he speaks up.

“You know how much I love you, right? Because if I don’t say it enough, I’m certainly going to make an effort now. I love you so much y/n. You’ve been one of the best things in my life. Don’t ever forget how much I love you, okay?” Jake says, looking down at you as your face softens, making you curl into him further.

“I love you too dad. So, so much. I don’t say it enough either, but I really do love you.” You say, your smile growing as Jake presses a kiss to the top of your head. The comforting silence returns once more as you lie in his embrace. But the moment Jake hears you yawn, he detangles you from his arms and settles you back down on your bed.

“I’ll let you get some sleep. I love you, sweetheart.” Jake says, pressing one last kiss to your forehead as he crosses to your bedroom door, opening it.

“I love you too, dad.” You say sleepily as Jake smiles back at you before leaving your room to let you switch your lamp off and go to bed. Jake returns to his bedroom, climbing into bed alongside Bradley and switching the lamp off before hugging Bradley from behind.

“Did you have a good night?” Bradley’s tired mumble cuts through the silence as Jake presses a kiss to Bradley’s shoulder.

“A great night. Sorry for waking you, go back to sleep.” Jake whispers as Bradley rolls over so the two men are facing each other.

“I’m going to have a much easier time going to sleep now than I did an hour ago.” Bradley chuckles quietly as he tugs Jake into his side, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before allowing his eyes to slip shut. Jake waits patiently until he hears Bradley’s deep and even breaths before he allows his own tired eyes to close.

“Sleep well, Bradley. I love you.” He whispers against his husband’s chest as sleep begins to take him in its hold. Jake hadn’t anticipated the concert to bring as many revelations to him as it did, but he did now know that he had one of the best lives out there. And it was all because of his loving family. Because of them, he was finally free from his past.

taglist (comment or ask to be added):

@zbeez-outlet @kaceywithak @tsnelf7 @starkleila @cassadilasworld @shanimallina87 @madstxo @chaoticassidy @padsdarlg

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moonlitluka · 1 year

Text

DOPPELGÄNGER

When the group goes off to college Randy becomes Mr. Popular leaving Y/N in the dust | Randy Meeks x Reader | Angst

“Randy! Hey.” I called out as I jogged up to him. He turned around and gave me a soft smile. “Y/N hey”

I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever. I mean sure I’d seen him but it was different ever since we got to college. We used to be attached at the hip and now we just passed each other on the way to class or sat together at lunch.

We barely spoke anymore. Not about anything below surface level at least. Just about school or Sid. I missed him.

“I uh wanted to know…” I stuttered. “If you wanted to hang out tonight. Just the two of us, like old times?” I finished. I saw his smile widen as he thought about it.

“Oh I uh I would love to,” he said “great!” I laughed. His smile fell. That was weird. “But I can’t. I have plans with some friends from film studies. I would cancel if I could but we’ve been planning this for a week-“ he ranted.

What friends? I’ve never heard about such friends. “Oh…” was all I said. My smile now gone as well. There was clear tension in the air.

I heard his shoes stumble against the gravel under us as he took a step toward me. “Y/N I’m sorry. We can totally hang out this weekend.” He offered.

I knew it was unfair of me to want him to cancel and spend time with me. He had plans before I get it. I just wished I didn’t always feel like I was pushed to the side by him.

“No yeah it’s fine. We don’t have to hang out I get it you have new friends.” I whispered. Maybe it was petty but it just slipped out.

“What? No that’s not it-“ I turned my back on him mid sentence and just left. I didn’t want to risk crying in front of him. It was stupid it was one night but it felt like the last few months it’s been time after time. Being told he’s busy or has to study. If he’s not studying he’s at a party.

I don’t know. I just feel like I don’t know him anymore. What happened to the dork who didn’t even know how to talk to girls. Let alone flirt with sorority girls at parties.

I decided to walk to the local coffee shop to cheer myself up. Randy, Sid, and I had came here our first day on campus and it became a favorite place of mine.

As I walked in, I saw a glance of a guy in a light green t-shirt. His back was turned as he looked at the book in front of him. He had brown fluffy hair and was wearing khakis.

I smiled remembering the day you met Randy. That same stupid outfit. “Y/N?” The barista called out. I went and grabbed my drink. “Thanks.” I said looking back at the boy.

‘Maybe I’ll talk to him.’ I thought. Talk to him and say what? ‘Oh hey you look just like the guy I’m hopelessly in love with even though he’s currently ignoring me and practically kicked me to the curb? Wanna hang?’

Wait a second. Did I just say I love Randy..? Like Randy Meeks? Geeky video store Randy? Oh god am I sick? Why did I say that?

With the newfound panic I had caused myself I decided to run out of that coffee shop and run home.

Time skip

I was laying in my bed writing in my diary trying to figure out somehow what I was feeling. Was I really in love with Randy? Was that why his rejection hurt so bad?

A knock on my dorm room door interrupted my thoughts. That’s weird, Sid had a key. Who else would be at our dorm. Maybe Derek looking for Sidney?

I walked over to the door and opened it. “Y/N…hi.” Randy stood in the fluorescent hallway. He awkwardly reached his hand up behind his neck.

“What do you want?” I asked. He pushes past me into my room uninvited. “Sure come in” I sighed rolling my eyes shutting the door behind him.

“Look, I’m sorry if I’ve given you the impression that I’m too busy for you. You’re my friend more than any of these film people I’ve met here. I don’t have ‘new friends’ it’s not like that. I swear.” He ranted. I just listened.

“I feel horrible.” He finished. I sheepishly nodded. He sat on my bed patting the spot next to him for me. I sat next to him as he not so subtly looked me up and down.

I felt butterflies in my stomach but tried to ignore it. “I’m sorry if I was being petty.” I said scoffing at myself. I felt stupid.

He put his hand on my knee and smiled at me. “It wasn’t petty. You were just upset, rightfully so. I haven’t been fair to you. I’ve ditched on our movie nights so many times I can’t excuse it. All I can do is say I’m sorry. And please forgive me.” He squeezed my knee as if to give me some extra reassurance.

I giggle but it was almost sad. “You wanna know something stupid?” I laughed out. “Sure.”

“I was at the coffee shop earlier, and this boy was there and he looked just like you.” I started and he just chuckled waiting for me to continue.

“He wore your green shirt from the day we met. I swear it was a spitting image. It’s stupid, part of me hoped we’d get the chance to talk.” He just looked at me confused.

“I wanted it to be you. Like somehow you teleported there or something.” I laughed. Why was I telling him this..?

“I guess I’m not as over you as I thought that I was. And I thought I was.” I sighed. I guess this was it. I spit it out it’s too late now.

“What..? Over me?” He gasped. I saw the gears moving in his brain. “Truth is no ones like you. A lookalike could never take your place. I just thought that I would get over this stupid crush with time. But then it never left.” I finished.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered. I knew he probably didn’t expect this to be the conversation we would have. “Wow…you like me..?” He said shyly.

At this point I felt like I couldn’t even look at him. I just let my head hang and nodded. “Oh my god..” was all he said. This was a mistake.

“I shouldn’t have told you-“ “No! I’m glad you did.” He interrupted. With this I had enough courage to lock eyes with him. I saw his eyes flicker between my eyes to my lips.

“Can I kiss you?” He blurted out. “Yeah.” I whispered. With that, his hands came up to my face softly cupping my cheeks. He smiled at me before leaning in and letting his lips softly linger over mine. I leaned in too letting us finally connect.

He controlled the kiss as he moved his hand to the back of my neck pulling me in more. I swear I heard a whimper escape him.

He pulled away hesitantly with a smile on his face. I couldn’t hold back my shy smile from him. “Thank you for telling me even if it was hard. I feel the same way Y/N, I always have. The only reason I pushed you away was because I figured you didn’t like me. I was trying to get over you. I’m sorry about all of that.” He said letting his fingers brush the hair behind my ear.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is this.” I said leaning in to kiss him again.

#Spotify #scream #scream fluff #scream six #scream spoilers #scream vi #randy meeks #randy meeks x reader #scream 2

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violetsandfluff · 2 years

Text

“How’s your headache, Sweetie?”

You opened your eyes to see Joshua standing over you.

“What?” you croaked sleepily.

“How’s your headache?” He was dressed in a gray sweatshirt, black sweatpants, and crazy patterned socks. He looked 100% cuddleable in your book.

“Feels better,” you said softly as you eyed him. You tried your best to be obvious about it and he got the hint.

“Cuddles, Baby? Really?”

You nodded vigorously and he put his hands on his perfect hips.

“What if I don’t want to cuddle with you?”

“Then you wouldn’t be dressed like that,” you retorted truthfully. “Cuddle sl*t.”

“You’re right, Lovebug,” he grinned, sliding into bed beside you. He wrapped his arms around you and allowed you to rest your still slightly sore head on his chest.

You grabbed a pillow and cuddled up with it, wrapping your arms around it and moving your head to lay on it.

In a blur of sudden movement, Josh yanked the pillow from you.

“Joshua,” you practically moaned. “Mean!”

Moving to rest your head and hand on his chest, you groaned, “You’re so warm! You feel so good!”

He chuckled and you pulled the pillow back into your arms.

Joshua emitted a tsking sound before stating, “Don’t be greedy, Y/N. Me or the pillow.”

Planting a kiss on his chest, you snuggled up with the pillow again. “Ha-ha,” you said.

#fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #Joshua Bassett #Joshua Bassett fanfic #Joshua Bassett fanfiction #Joshua Bassett imagine #fanfic x reader #fanfic x you #fanfic x y/n #joshua bassett x you #joshua bassett x reader #Joshua Bassett x y/n #yellow 💛 heart #flutterfly alley #blurb

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mellowmadds · 2 years

Text

When you take a chance | Ricky Bowen

ricky bowen/fem!reader oneshot

fluff :)

summary: the musical has been casted and the cast list has been posted however when miss Jenn is in search for pianist Ricky Bowen your childhood best friend and secret crush insists that you push your fears aside and join the wildcats with putting on a musical.

warnings: mentions of divorce, sad ricky

word count: 3064

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“You do realize that auditioning for the musical means breaking out into song and dance in front of the entire school, right?” You laughed, while sitting down in between your two best friends Big Red and Ricky.

“Except this is my one chance to win back Nini, I need to prove to her that I’m serious about our relationship.” Ricky sighed as he turned his head towards the one thing he’s been avoiding all day.

“Why don’t you just try talking to her?” Big Red said while gesturing over towards the two lovebirds Ej Caswell and the one girl Ricky could confide in.

“No offense but the one person I go to for advice is currently on her honeymoon in the cafeteria.” Ricky pushed the rest of his lunch towards Big Red while grabbing his skateboard and storming off.

“At least I get the rest of his fries.” Big Red said before chugging down the rest of his soda.

You gave Big Red a small smile and handed him the rest of your chips. While getting up from the table and gathering your belongings out of the corner of your eye you see Kourtney staring back and forth between you and Nini. You were never really jealous of Ricky’s relationship with Nini because at least before she went off to camp they were oddly the perfect couple. You would never admit the feelings you had towards Ricky to anyone except maybe Big Red but only because he was becoming suspicious as to why you always agreed to everything Ricky had said or done.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by. You walked down the familiar hallway to your locker to grab things for the after school club your parents forced you to participate in. While walking back down towards the classroom you heard faint yelling coming from Mr. Mazzara’s room which you ultimately ignored thinking it was just the robotics team arguing over who gets to control the remote. But the last thing you expected to see was Ricky Bowen bolting past you towards the theater.

“He’s really going to audition.” You said to yourself shocked. Not wanting to be distracted by the thought of Ricky trying to impress Nini you continued to walk to the classroom you should have already been at ten minutes ago.

Instead of actually paying any attention to the club you signed up for, you found yourself reading over your music sheets so you could practice the new song you were learning on the piano when you got home.

Wanting to go home a bit earlier than the actual time your after school club ended you made up an excuse and started gathering everything into your already heavy backpack. While walking out of the classroom you couldn’t help but be distracted by the commotion coming from down the hall.

“What’s going on?” You asked approaching Big Red as he stood there with nothing but a shocked expression on his face.

“Your crush, our best friend just scored the lead in the play with no acting experience whatsoever.” Big Red announced to you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him.

“Okay first of all lower your voice, second of all how?” You questioned while laughing. Walking over to the cast list taped to the wall you see Ricky Bowen written in all caps playing Troy Bolton. While you were incredibly happy for him below his name was Nini’s also in all caps playing Gabriella.

You congratulated Ricky and gave a small smile to Nini seeing that she was obviously frustrated with the whole situation. You couldn’t blame her though she seems happy being in a relationship with Ej and doesn’t want anything or certainly anyone ruining it for her.

It’s been a few days since Miss Jenn posted the cast list and since then Ricky has been practicing non stop. On the other hand Big Red had gotten stuck reading stage directions for Miss Jenn. Having both of your best friends being so busy spending time with the drama club meant that you had way too much time on your hands which led to feeling a bit lonely.

Instead of heading home for the day you thought it would be nice to sit in the music room and play the piano for a little while. Feeling lonely at school felt a little less lonely than sitting all alone at home, if that made any sense.

“Hey Y/n.” Of course the one boy you’ve purposely been avoiding wants to interrupt your peaceful piano playing. Instead of saying some sarcastic comeback to him you look up from the piano keys to see that instead of his normally happy go lucky smile he was upset.

“What’s wrong Ricky?” he gently sat down beside you on the piano bench without making any eye contact. Instead of forcing him to talk you turned back to the piano keys and started playing little soft tunes instead of having to sit there in silence. You knew he’d been having a hard time at home due to his mother leaving his dad and moving away to Chicago.

“Nina is in love with Ej.” he admits out of the blue while nervously tracing his finger along the keys of the piano.

You stopped playing for a second to collect your thoughts. You have never actually heard him call her Nina. It was like he was speaking a foreign language. You wanted to comfort him and tell him that everything would be okay but you were at a loss of words and when you tried to speak nothing came out.

“But I’m okay with that, it hurt at first watching her fall in love with Ej but she’s happy and I don’t want to ruin that for her.” Ricky spoke in a soft tone almost as if he had lost his voice. Before you could speak he cut you off again.

“At first I auditioned so I could show her that I was serious about our relationship and maybe that was a stupid move but now I realized that a part of me also did this for myself.” You smiled to yourself knowing that Ricky finally found something he’s passionate about.

“So why are you sitting here with me right now instead of up on that stage practicing?” You asked while turning to face him. He pressed his fingers down on the piano and started playing random keys, which sounded awful together.

“Because Miss Jenn doesn’t have anyone to play piano for us, Ashlyn is focused on making sure Ms. Darbus’s solo is perfect.” Secretly hoping he isn’t about to ask you to play piano in front of everyone you start putting your music sheets into your folder and shoving it quickly into your backpack.

“Y/n can you please play the piano for us just for rehearsal?” Already preparing to say no you look down at your shoes.

“Ricky-”

“Please Y/n, just this one time?” He’s not going to stop until you agree to play.

“I know you know the songs you used to watch high school musical on repeat.” Ricky continued to ask you to play the piano. Feeling bad you finally give in and say yes even though deep down you really don’t want to do this.

Following closely behind Ricky down the hallway towards the theater was the last thing you thought you’d ever be doing today. You had secretly been wishing in your head that you had gone home right after school today.

“You okay Y/n?” Ricky stopped walking and turned to face you.

“Yeah I’m alright, just nervous.” You tried giving him a smile but he could tell you were really anxious about playing the piano in front of anyone that wasn’t him or Big Red.

“We can practice alone first in front of Miss Jenn, I’m sure everyone else is busy doing something.” Ricky spoke in a soft loving tone to try and calm your nerves. You only gave him a forced smile as you continued walking towards the theater.

As you both stepped foot in the theater Ricky called out for Miss Jenn just for her to randomly pop out from around the corner.

“Ricky you're finally back” Miss Jenn said while clapping her hands together.

“I found someone to play the piano for us, but is it cool if we could just practice in front of you for now? She’s a bit nervous.” Ricky asked only to receive a nod from Miss Jenn.

“Yes of course we could do that. What is your name sweetheart?” Miss Jenn asked, approaching you with a hug.

“Y/n” You said quietly and accepted her hug. She waved and motioned for the two of you to follow her.

As she brought you guys over to the piano you could start to feel your heart race until you felt a familiar hand start tracing circles on your back. You tried your best to keep your composure but to actually be this close to Ricky in the moment it just felt right. But you knew he didn’t feel the same way you did, not after just recently getting over Nini.

“Here’s the sheet music for ‘Start of Something New’ don’t be nervous there's no judging here. This is a safe space sweetheart.” Miss Jenn told you.

You set the papers down in front of you quickly looking over the notes and preparing yourself. You felt Ricky sit down next to you and quickly put his hand back on your lower back. As you started playing the song Ricky quickly started singing.

‘Livin’ in my own world’

‘Didn’t understand’

‘That anything can happen’

‘When you take a chance’

You continued playing the song until it eventually came to an end. You could feel Ricky staring at you but interrupting the sweet moment Miss Jenn applauded the two of you.

“Have you ever thought about being in a musical sweetheart? Because you have the talent for it.” Miss Jenn stated while grinning ear to ear.

“Oh, no I don’t really sing or dance or act for a matter of fact.” You said nervously just wanting this conversation to end right at that very moment.

“How would you feel about playing Kelsi? We need someone as talented as you are to go on for her and play the piano.” As much as you wanted to say no the expression on Ricky’s face wouldn’t allow you to.

They both stared at you for what felt like hours you had no choice other than to say yes. You also didn’t want to crush Ricky’s heart by saying no. And it seemed like Miss Jenn really needs your help with this.

“Sure I’ll play Kelsi and help out at rehearsals with the piano.” You said quietly almost instantly regretting what you had just said.

You turned back around to face Ricky and were greeted with the biggest hug he’s ever given you. Not wanting to interrupt the moment Miss Jenn walked out to the rest of the theater kids to make sure they were doing what they were supposed to be doing.

“I’m so proud of you!” Ricky yelled while you shushed him.

“No really I am Y/n, you just faced one of your biggest fears and now you’re in the musical with me.” You couldn’t help but think now all the time you’re going to have to spend with Ricky playing the piano. The thought of getting to spend time with the person that I love while doing the thing I love the most made you instantly feel butterflies.

“Thank you for pushing me Ricky. Now let’s hope I can handle it and not get stage fright.” You said as you turned back to the piano to gather all of the sheet music for the songs you now need to learn and practice.

You introduced yourself to the rest of the drama club minus the people who already knew who you were due to your friendships with Big Red and Ricky. Everyone welcomed you with open arms and you couldn’t have felt more comfortable around any group of people before. After many rehearsals you had made many new friends and eventually grew even closer to Ricky.

You’ve been practicing all of the songs that Kelsi performs during the musical. Your parents are incredibly proud of you for coming out of your shell and finally showing your talent off. You have no distractions getting in your way except for one, Ricky Bowen.

Big Red continued to tease you about your crush on Ricky every single day insisting on the fact that he feels the same way. You didn’t want to risk your friendship with Ricky just in case it didn’t work out between the two of you. Ricky’s past relationship with Nini is a big part in making you afraid over nothing. Even though he and Nini were total opposites they just were a perfect couple but despite everything they didn’t work out in the end and they barely talk to each other anymore. That is what you were afraid of, losing him.

Many weeks had gone by with a lot of things all happening at once. Ricky would compliment you here and there and maybe you two would share a moment every once and a while but you always just brushed it off and thought of it as him just being a good friend.

It was finally opening night, the night everyone had been working so hard for. Despite the anxiety building up inside of you you knew you couldn’t quit or give up now it was too late for that. So instead you went to find the one person you trust only to find out that Ej had gone on for him during act two and nobody could find Ricky. You knew you couldn’t run around and look for him knowing you had scenes in the musical with nobody to go on for you. As you took a deep breath you walked over to the piano to start playing ‘Breaking Free’. In your head you knew Ricky should be here on stage singing not Ej you couldn’t help but wonder where he was.

After the musical was over and everyone exited the stage you approached Ej to confront him about Ricky.

“He wanted me to go on for him Y/n. I don’t know what happened but he insisted that I would go on as Troy.” Ej explained to you. You knew Ej wouldn’t lie to you as everyone had grown a close bond over these past couple of weeks.

Carlos and Seb walked and noticed how upset you were.

“He’s in the rehearsal room Y/n” Carlos spoke with a gentle tone. You thanked them and walked down to the rehearsal room.

You quietly opened the door and shut it behind you.

“Ricky, What's going on? What happened?” You asked while taking a seat next to him. He didn’t say a word all he did was pull you closer into a hug and quietly sobbed. You've never seen Ricky cry but you knew instead of questioning him you needed to comfort him. As much as you tried to put your feelings aside for just a moment you couldn’t help but think about the way he held onto you but that didn’t last long as he stood up and started apologizing for seeming weak and crying in front of you.

“You don’t have to apologize for crying Ricky, it’s okay” You said as you stood up and walked closer towards him.

“My mom brought her boyfriend here and when I saw him put his arm around her I didn’t know how to feel. Why would she think it’s okay to bring him around? I thought that this would be an opportunity for her to talk with my dad.” Ricky said while holding back his tears because he didn’t want to cry in front of you again.

“You know it’s okay to feel that way and it’s okay to cry. You’re allowed to be mad at your mother. She should have asked if it was okay to bring him.” You said as you tried your best to be strong for him.

“She said she wanted me to meet him” Ricky repeated what his mother had previously said to him as he looked down at his shoes.

“But you should be the one to decide when you want to meet him, not her. She should have asked for your permission to bring him. She’s the one who messed up, not you Ricky.” You said as you crossed your arms hoping that he would agree with you.

“This is why I love you.” Ricky admitted looking back up at you. Taken back a bit you were once again at a loss of words in front of Ricky Bowen.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but I love you Y/n.” He said once again. Not wanting to mess this moment up you walked over to him and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I love you too, Ricky.”

As you looked back up to him he smiled down at you. His hand gently gripped your chin as he leaned in but before doing anything he asked.

“Can I kiss you?” and without even having to think for a second you replied with a yes.

He gently pressed his soft lips against yours and you instantly felt the feeling of butterflies all over again. You placed your hand on his cheek as you slowly rubbed your thumb against it as you pulled away from him.

“If you want you can stay with me tonight, so you don’t have to be at home.” You said trying your best not to kill the mood but you wanted to make sure he had a place to sleep in case he didn’t want to face his mom tonight.

“Thank you Y/n, I appreciate it so much.” He replied back pulling you into a tight hug. Not ever wanting to pull away you laughed and said

“Come on we're going to be late to slices, don’t want Big Red getting suspicious of anything.” You said as he grabbed your hand and walked outside to join the rest of the wildcats for a well deserved after party at slices.

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leaawrites · 5 months

Text

Our place

Pairing: Ricky Bowen x gnl!reader Summary: Reader drags Ricky out in the forest to show him a place they found. Warnings: kissing, gender neutral reader, flirting, cliche topics, possible grammar mistakes, mention of murder (as a joke), mention of kidnapping (as a joke)

Masterlist

“Come on Ricky,” I whisper-yelled as we both walked through the dark forest.

“What are we even doing here?” He asked while trying not to fall or trip.

“Just relax and don’t ask questions,” I said, holding my hand out to him. He happily took it and we walked around the tree’s and over the grass.

“Are you going to kill me?” He asked suspicious and I quietly laughed at his attitude.

“Yes, Richard Bowen. I am, in fact going to kill you here out in the woods because I absolutely can’t stand you and really despise your absolute gorgeous face,” I said sarcastic and he stopped for a second.

“You think my face is gorgeous?” He asked and I just continued walking ignoring him completely.

We walked for another five minutes before we were at our destination. I looked to my left at his side profile and saw his eyes light up by the sight in front of us. It was a free landscape with a flower field around half of it.

I bit my lip, trying to push my foolish smile down, before pulling him behind me. We stood on the soft grass. It was a bright color of green that looked like cut out from a picture book. There weren’t any trees hovering over the patch of land, so you could perfectly see the night sky with all it’s stars shining and even the moon.

I put my backpack down and searched for the blanket I had inside of it. Laying it down on the grass and sitting on top of it, Ricky interlocked our hands while I looked up at the sky.

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

“Really beautiful,” He said and I looked at him just to see him already looking at me.

I understood what he meant by what he said and looked down with blushing cheeks and a cheeky smile covering my face. I really couldn’t stop smiling.

“What is it?” He asked his voice getting higher. The tone and change of his voice hinted his confusion. He had no idea what was happening with me in that moment.

“That was very cliche,” I pointed out and now he laughed as well.

“But it is true,” He said and I blushed even more.

He put his hand under my chin making me look up at him. His thumb slid over my cheek and his eyes were focused on my eyes before they slipped down to my lips for a second. He came closer and I did the same.

“All I wanna do is be with you. There’s nothing we can’t do. I just wanna be with you, only you.” He sang quietly before our lips connected.

It was soft and warm like the other times but now it felt more passionate. I felt him smile into it and I did the same, letting out a chuckle our lips left each other for a moment before he shushed me and put our lips together again.

“I like this place,” Ricky said, still holding me close to his body but his lips left mine.

“Me too,” I confirmed to him.

“Maybe it could be our place?” He suggested, lifting his eyebrows in hope of it not making his blush too obvious.

I, however, noticed the red color slowly creeping up his face and laughed at him. “I would like that,” I said. “I actually wanted to show you this earlier, but I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.”

“I like everything you show me.”

I started giggling at his odd behavior and knew that he was flirting. He never did it this openly but it was nice. It was really nice.

#ricky bowen #ricky bowen x reader #hsmtmts #hsm the series #hsm the musical #ricky bowen x you #ricky bowen x y/n #ricky bowen imagine #hsmtmts imagine #in the woods #imagine #fandom #hsm2 #hsm3 #hsm #joshua bassett #joshua bassett imagine

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dre6ming · 1 year

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Instagram photo dump part VI

Masterlist <all chapters here>

Instagram photo dump masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

!!!Everything fake!!!

𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤𓆤

tmz

Liked by fan2e, joshuafan and 400.473others

tmz: Y/n and Joshua Bassett caught locking lips once again, this seems to be pretty solid if you ask us.

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fan34: omg they are fr!! I thought it was all a PR thing

↳fan12: it still could be, it's very likely

↳joshuafan: yeah definitely smells like PR

↳love4y/n: what if we're just too quick to judge

abfan: deep down I feel like she's still hung up on Austin

↳fan-ab: who wouldn't be😩😩

↳fan48: ugh back with this

hater3: she's just trying to prove that she can hold a man for longer than a few days

↳hater28: well seems like she's really trying

fan.love38: they look so cute 🥰 . I'm in love with them

↳fan111: same here.

↳fan.of.joshua: I'm obsessed with them

y/n4real.2002

Liked by austibutler , tchalamet and 1.383.399 others

y/n4real.2002: Best-friend out now on all platforms. 📸: roxanne.02_b1tch

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tchalamet: proud of you sis!!!

↳y/n4real.2002: tchalamet thanks big brother. Love you 💜💜

↳fan283: ahh they are the cutest ever

↳tc-fan: he's always such a supporter

roxanne.02_b1tch: you're welcome for the photo

↳y/n4real.2002: roxanne.02_b1tch hahaha thanks girl, love you tons💜💜

↳fan281: I love their friendship

↳fans2: omg yes they are so iconic

taylorswift: a true mastermind

↳y/n4real.2002: taylorswift you know it 😉

↳tsfan: ma'am what does this little interaction mean? 🧐

↳taylor13-fan: we're clowning 🤡

austinbutler: definitely worth the wait

↳y/n4real.2002: austinbutler it's in my job description 😉

↳an.fan1: 👀 wait what??

↳austin-fan: I'm losing my mind over this

↳kaiafan23: 😡 hands off, he's taken

jackantonoff: one step

finneas: the first step

↳y/n4real.2002: finneas jackantonoff 👀👀

tchalamet

Liked by y/n4real.2002 , austinbutler and 1.233.282 others

tchalamet: my sister is amazing and she does it all. Go listen to her new song Best-Friend. #throwback to quarantine in Toronto, def do not miss that small apartment 😭

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y/n4real.2002: my heart could explode rn and hey I loved that apartment 😡

↳tchalamet: y/n4real.2002 Ik u did, weirdo

↳y/n4real.2002: tchalamet I'm not a weirdo 🥺

↳fan28: protect Y/n at all costs

↳fan4949: guys they are so cute

ab-fan13: Austin liked this you guys

↳austin_fan: omg he's literally confirming they're more than friends

↳fan-ep.ab: holly cow I can't believe this

fan1: they are so cute

tcfan25: Timmy always here with the big brother moves

y/n4real.2002

Liked by austinbutler , tchalamet and 1.783.399 others

y/n4real.2002: a big thank you to teutamatoshi for custom making this dress, you'll know what I've been up to pretty soon 😉 #orange

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austinbutler: looking fabulous in orange

↳y/n4real.2002: 🫣

↳aus.b.fan: what's that supposed to mean y/n4real.2002 ?!?!!?

↳fan4austin: they are messing with us

↳kaia.fan: this is so disappointing to see

teutamatoshi: 🧡🧡

↳y/n4real.2002: grateful ☺️

fan1: she looks so good

fan192: I'm not gonna lie, I'm only looking at your titties rn

↳austin-b-fan: I think I know someone who might be doing the same

↳fan.4.austin: if you know, you know 🧐

tchalamet: that's my sister everyone 👏👏

billboardcharts

Liked by fan_love , music.lvr and 500.379 others

billboardcharts this weeks chart has some new entries form y/n4real.2002 debuting her first single, Best-Friend at number 3 and joshuabassett debuting with his song, Heaven is you, at number 9. This is the first time either of them enter the top 10. Congrats to them!!

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fan1: omg so proud of her 😭

fan19: her hard work is paying off

ts-fan: Taylor raised her baby well

joshua-fan: them being in the chart for the first time and together!!!!

↳fanofjoshua: I guess the PR stunt worked 🧐

↳fan193: I don't think they are PR

13fans.taylor: holly!!! She's walking on holly ground

↳taylor.s.fan: as her mom, Taylor, said - she'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me

y/n4real.2002

Liked by austinbutler , jackantonoff and 3.282.392others

y/n4real.2002 my next single Dandelions will be out on April 1st (no, it's not a joke 😔) thank you everyone for the amazing support and for listening to my gibberish, all I've ever wanted was to be heard by people I relate to, so thank you #dandelions #savethedate

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jackantonoff: so excited for this ☝️

↳y/n4real.2002: hehe ☺️

austinbutler: 🌺

↳y/n4real.2002: austinbutler glad to see you discovered emojis old man 😔

↳ab.fan292: this has no business being this funny

↳fankaia12: if by funny you mean pathetic and disgusting, then yeah, it's funny

fan1: I'm so excited to hear this new song agahahsk

↳y/n4real.2002: fan1 happy to hear

↳fan1: y/n4real.2002 I love you so much

joshualover: why has Joshua been missing her posts?👀

↳fan4joshua2: cause she's messing around

↳fan292: stop it, you have no right to comment on this

Tags: @kittenlittle24 @amorx @cryingabtab @lexicox044 @lrissa @feral4austinbutler @sageskywalker @jesssssicaa @rainydayz101 @flwersgarden @bobthefishiesworld @captured-memory @homebodybirkin2003 @galaxygirl453 @butlerslut @chrisevansgirl34 @myradiaz @pennyroyalcreep @macey234 @im-lame-irl @lordandmistress @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @poppet05 @gabbywontlose @4shbug @0-thegoodwitch-0 @hauntedarchivesx @chewiethecatus @sunnyx07 @francesbloomer @jessaroni19 @finelineskies @stargirlbytheweeknd @cerenaydins-blog @girlblogger2002 @gigisworldsstuff @my-baexht-Is @xmusselisims @bluepeacheslandia @kibumslatina

@samaraannhan20 @goldobsessionworld @silliypapercreatorangle @cmrxac @donnamarie23 @justarandomfamdomblog @marlowmode @natsnosehair @xxgggooomm @banksmars @namoreno @areuirish @choppedlamphandscowboy @yeetfack-blog @fangirl125reader @aliceforbes @k-1898 @lucid315 @numberonepaperbeard-blg @denised916 @hannahhhhhig @izzyisdefinatelybusy

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luckyyluka · 5 months

Text

Darling

joshua bassett x gn!reader

Summary: reader is at their limit, but joshua knows them too well, and he wont let them drown. (hurt/comfort fic)

Notes: no use of pronouns, no use of y/n, no description of reader

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

Trigger Warnings: no specific mental illness is mentioned but in a general sense, SEVERE depression is heavily implied. Detailed depictions of depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, almost attempted suicide using pills (all from reader).

This fic has a fairly detailed moment where reader is cutting themselves. I wrote this originally only for myself as a form of comfort. Please THINK before you decide to read this. The most important thing here is for you to stay safe. The sole purpose of me posting this fic is for readers who are similar to myself that might find comfort in this, but not everybody will get the same thing out of this fic, so please please please do NOT read if this will trigger you in any way. be safe, lovelies.

i wanna get lovesick, i wanna get lovesick with you

the sickly-sweet song sliced through the deafening quiet, nothing else but your small sobs and sniffles.

that was your phone, your ringtone set as lovesick by peace. you looked down at the screen, barely making out the contact name through your tear-filled eyes. joshua.

the song was starting to get annoying, considering this was the fifth call in the past three minutes. you rejected the call once again before turning your phone off completely.

now that you could focus, you looked down on the ground in front of you where you sat criss-cross. you were home alone, and after a week of agonizing pain, your depression made you feel as if you were drowning and you couldn't breathe.

you couldn't take it anymore. every moment that passed by poured more salt into the wounds of the past, and sometimes, it even created new ones, fresh wounds.

the blood trickled down your skin as you decided to make some new wounds. battle scars, as some might say. only this time, this wasn't a battle you planned on winning.

when crimson had gently stained your arm just enough to satisfy you, your shaking hands set down the blade as you finally let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding in.

your eyes were sure to be a bit red and puffy as you had already been crying in your bed. you wanted to write a note beforehand but you barely even found the energy to end up on the bathroom floor you sat on.

as tears fell down your cheeks, sobs threatening to escape your trembling lips, you grabbed the bottle of prescription pills next to you.

before you could think to proceed with whatever you had planned, there was a quiet knock at the bathroom door. nobody was meant to be home. joshua must have come home early.

you were home alone, still living with your parents who were currently out of state. joshua took a trip to stay with you for a few days, being your best friend and all, but he was out to run errands. keyword: was.

"hey, it's joshua," his voice was small, gentle. it shouldn't have brought you much peace, you knew he'd do everything he could to stop you, and probably even get angry with you. after all, you did worry him. who wouldn't be mad at you for that? "please let me in..." but nevertheless, that small voice made you choke out sobs even harder than before.

barely audible, you tried to speak, "go away..."

in hindsight, that may have been dumb. what was he gonna do? actually go away?

"please let me in, okay? that's all i ask." his quiet pleas from the other side of the door drew your hand up to the handle, slowly and shakily turning it to open the door.

he looked at you for a moment. your hair was a mess, you had bags under your eyes, you haven't changed in days, you hadn't showed in weeks, and you were sure that it was probably time for a tooth brush. you felt disgusting. you were disgusting. it didn't take a genius to know he was probably judging you. who wouldn't?

"oh, honey," he knelt down next to you as your sobs got harder and you stared at him through tear-stained, lidded eyes.

immediately, he pulled you into a hug as you cried, face buried in his chest. "i'm sorry," you kept repeating over and over. his hands ran through your hair as he shushed you, reassuring you and trying to help you calm down just enough for him to give you a bit of first aid.

after a few moments of his tight embrace, you finally settled down enough to breathe. he took the bottle of pills that had toppled to the floor amidst the commotion. "did you take anything?" he questioned quietly.

you shook your head no.

"promise me?"

you nodded.

he looked at you with gentle eyes and an empathetic smile. tears welling up with both worry, but also relief that you were still alive.

he took your hand, guiding you as he stood up and helped you stand as well. he rummaged around the drawers in the bathroom until he finally found the gauze and a cotton pad to cover your wounds.

he smiled at you comfortingly as his tears threatened to fall. he guided your arm underneath the faucet as he turned on a cool stream of water. he grabbed a wash cloth, slowly and carefully cleaning your wounds and blood-stained skin.

once you were all cleaned up, he dried your arm off as gently as possible, taking great care to not hurt you as he patched you up.

he got some anti-biotic ointment, gently massaging it over your cuts before placing the little cotton pad over them.

now that your wounds were safe, he grabbed the roll of gauze and wrapped your wrist up tightly, but not too tight. it was just tight enough. you were all patched up.

"now," his voice was soft, "lets get you a shower, can you do that for me? i'll help you wash your hair."

he helped you down off the counter. you stood close to him, head held down as you almost cowered. but you nodded, nevertheless.

joshua turned around to give you some amount of privacy while you got undressed. he used that time to turn on the shower, making sure the water was just the right temperature for you. he took some saran wrap to protect your wrapped up arm, covering it lightly as the water heated up. he then took off his clothes, and helped you step into the shower as he followed.

it was intimate, being so exposed with him, but it wasn't anywhere near sexual. not for him, not for you. it was innocent, pure, tender.

joshua wrapped his arms around your waist from behind as you stood directly underneath the water. he peppered light kisses along your shoulder to prove to you that he was there. you closed your eyes, feeling every drop of water cover your skin.

joshua took the detachable shower head and ran it over your hair, soaking it. he took some of your shampoo and began to massage it into your hair gently. his fingertips worked to help soothe you.

finally, he rinsed the shampoo and repeated the steps for your conditioner. your hair was clean, thanks to joshua.

"there you go. i'm really proud of you for letting me help you," he said genuinely. this made you feel a little safer. you did it! you accomplished something, even though it may have seemed like such a small task. it wasn't small to you, but you did it. and joshua was proud of you.

he made sure that you knew you were safe, that he knew you were safe before he stepped out to let you wash your body. you even used soap! still, the little tasks were tough, but again, you did it.

your stomach jumped thinking that maybe joshua would be proud of you for this, too. you let yourself think more. your mind wandered to dark things, the sad parts of your brain, but you somehow you still managed to think about joshua. your best friend, your literal life saver. you realized there wasn't a single other person you'd rather be with you right now.

as you finally finished up your shower, you felt a little better. feeling less icky helped ease some of your insecurities at the moment. you stepped out, and joshua greeted you with a warm towel. he wrapped it around you and held you for a moment, despite the fact that it dampened his own shirt a little bit.

you pulled on an old t-shirt that joshua had given you. he said he wanted it to feel like a forever hug from him once it was time for him to go back home. you weren't really supposed to wear it yet, but he gave the gift to you early so maybe you'd feel a bit safer with it on.

you threw on some boxer shorts and some fuzzy socks before letting joshua fix your toothbrush. as you brushed your teeth, he encouraged you, comforted you as he ran his hand over your back and stayed only inches away from you.

finally leaving the bathroom with joshua, you headed over to the couch in your living room. he watched as you sat down and he smiled wide at you.

"what?" you asked him as he stared at you.

"i'm just so proud of you," he hopped over the couch to meet you, pulling you into a tight hug. he gave you a quick kiss on your cheek before he pulled away.

you giggled quietly. it wasn't much but it was something. the most hint of your sunshine that he'd seen in days. and it made his heart flutter with joy.

"wait, i need to throw some dirty clothes into the bin," you said as quickly as you remembered.

he followed you to your room so you could throw some old clothes into the dirty-clothes bin, but you were met with a fully cleaned room.

you thought back, knowing the last time you left your room just this morning, it was filthy. the floor was covered with dirty clothes, water bottles scattered around the room and trash from the few snacks that you could tolerate eating over the past few days.

joshua had cleaned your room while you were bathing.

"joshua, you didn't have to do that," your face blushed with embarrassment, and maybe you were a little flustered, too. after all, you had someone in your life who loved and cared about you so much that they'd clean your room for you after helping wash your hair. he tended to your wounds, and leant you his old t-shirt to help you feel safer. he dropped everything he was doing just to drive home and check on you. why? all because you sent a mildly cryptic, "i love you" text and missed a few calls.

he loved you.

like really loved you.

so he pulled you into another hug, resting his head on your shoulder as you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. he held you tight, so tight you thought he'd never be able to pry himself off of you, even if he tried.

when he finally broke away, he gently grabbed your hand and guided you to your bed. "let's get some rest, it's kind of late," he suggested.

you nodded. "mmkay," you obliged without hesitation. you admit, you were a little sleepy.

you climbed into bed and got comfy under the covers.

joshua didn't join you.

he studied you, your damp hair crowding around your face, wearing his shirt, yawning and snuggling into the pillows.

you were beautiful. to him, nothing could change that. not even when you go too long without showering or brushing your teeth. not even when your room gets a little too messy. not even if you tried to get him to change his mind. you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

"have you eaten today?" he finally spoke up.

you hesitated to answer.

"be honest," he pleaded.

you shook your head, finally admitting that you hadn't eaten anything.

"stay here, i'm going to go get you a snack," he smiled, leaving the bedroom door open so you could still hear him. you'd never feel alone with him near.

he walked through your door again, bringing a small bowl of grapes and other various fruits along with a glass of water.

"can you try and eat some of this for me? and drink some water?" he asked you softly.

you hesitated, but nodded finally. you sat up in the bed, taking the bowl. you waited to begin eating as joshua climbed into the bed next to you.

he turned on the tv, playing your favorite show for you to watch while you ate.

"i'm proud of you," joshua said for the third time tonight. it made your heart beat a little louder.

"thank you," you finally responded.

it was silent for a moment as he sat next to you, his hand resting on your thigh as you watched the tv and ate the fruit from the bowl. his thumb calmly stroked where his hand rested.

you finished eating, surprising even yourself as you cleared out the whole bowl.

he took the bowl from you, leaving a kiss on your cheek as he put the bowl down on the side table next to your bed.

"i love you," you blurted out without thinking.

you hadn't said the l word yet. neither of you. this was new territory, and looking back, maybe not a great time to confess such a thing.

but instead of giving any sort of cryptic response, any hesitation, any indication that he might not feel the same way...

he responded immediately.

he gave you a kiss, his lips meeting yours only for a moment before he pulled away and looked you in the eyes with the most golden retriever-esque smile on his face. he pulled you closer, into a cuddle.

and he finally spoke up.

"i love you with all my heart. goodnight, my darling."

#TRIGGER WARNINGS:#TW: self harm #TW: suicide #joshua bassett #joshua bassett x reader #joshua bassett x gn!reader #gn!reader #hurt/comfort #joshua bassett hurt/comfort

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supercorpkid · 1 year

Text

Doppelgänger

Supergirl, Lena Luthor x Reader!

Word count: 2730.

Notes: Inspired by Joshua Bassett's song :)

“Hey, Y/N!” Your favorite barista says an excited hello to you when your time comes in line. “The usual?”

“Yes, Maddie, thanks.” You smile, glad she knows what your usual is, and that she is always so chipper when she sees you.

“Oh, Lena is at that table.” She points and you follow her long fingers to the person she is pointing to. Your heart stops in the tracks. Shit. You did not calculate you’d see her here. Though, it was kind of naive of you to think you wouldn’t, when this is the closest coffee shop to L Corp. Thus why you so frequently came to meet her here.

“Oh, um, right. Thanks.” You force a smile out, wondering how to break it to the barista that you two are not together anymore. It sounds like it’s too much information to give out, so you just bite your tongue, pointing at a muffin. “I’ll have one of those as well.”

“Ok!” She makes quick work of giving it to you and letting you pay for your food, while you give space to the next person in line.

You look up one more time. Lena has her back turned at you, so she won’t see you unless she is curious about what’s behind her. But she is definitely too focused working on her tablet, so you know it’s up to you if you want to talk to her.

You breathe deep, wondering whether you should. It’s been a while, and yet not long enough. She might be totally over you, or she might be exactly where you are, not as over her as you thought you were.

Someone calls your name, and your attention is drawn back to your coffee. You give the barista an embarrassed smile while collecting it, and choose a table far from the one Lena is.

Because you can’t get any closer. Your hands press down the cup a little too strong and a splash of hot coffee flies out of the lid and into your hands. What are you doing? Why are you being so creepy and why can’t you breathe, when the woman you loved (love, still) is right there and you can just walk up to her and say hi?

As your hands shake in anticipation, and you take a large sip of your coffee, you wonder if this is normal. If this is how everyone feels when they see their exes again after a while. And when you think about it, the word ex hurts you again.

It hurts and hurts, and you wonder if it will ever stop hurting. If the thought of not having Lena in your life anymore will ever be something that won’t kill you just to think about. If you’ll still regret letting her go when you’re older. And whether this will haunt you until your last breath.

You can’t get any closer. Your butt is glued to the chair, and you feel that you will need a push to unstick yourself from this place and walk again. Your legs shake and your heart is beating out of your chest, so loud, so strong, you’re almost dizzy.

But maybe, maybe this is your chance to talk to her. Maybe this is your opportunity to see her beautiful face again. And you should take any chance, any casual unplanned situations to see her beauty again, because you don’t get to see it everyday anymore.

Are there rules you should’ve been following when it comes to a break-up? It’s funny how worried you are about this now, when in the relationship you just kept breaking them in order to be all hers.

There are a thousand things you’d like to tell her. How your apartment feels like a barren land without her. How you just keep thinking that if this is final, then maybe you should get out of National City and run far enough so you’ll never have to face the biggest mistake you’ve ever made by letting her walk away. How your life has gone from easy to everything leading you back to her.

You look back at the barista. She gives you a knowing smile. And tries to encourage you with her eyes. You reciprocate the smile, feeling this was the push you needed to get up from your chair and walk up to Lena.

Your mouth runs dry, words get stuck on your throat, no matter how many times you’ve practiced how this conversation would go in front of a mirror. How many nights you spent memorizing things you’ve never told her, but wish you had.

“Lee.” Your voice comes out as nothing but a whisper and in the noisy coffee shop is barely even acknowledged by anyone except you. You lick your lips, before trying again, louder this time. “Lena.”

There’s no answer, and she doesn’t look behind herself. Face buried into her iPad. And you have no other alternative but to touch her shoulder to call her attention.

“Hm?” The woman, who is definitely not your ex-girlfriend Lena, turns to you, confusion crossing her face. “Yes?”

But she has it all. The dark shiny hair and pale skin. Thick eyebrows and green eyes. She looks so much like Lena, and at the same time not enough.

“Oh.” That's all you can say. Because you might have been terrified to see Lena, but now that you realize that is not her, it’s even more frustrating than it could ever be. “Sorry, I – I thought you were someone else.”

But now, there’s a burning desire within you. You need to see Lena, and you need to talk to her. You don’t know what is that you could possibly say to her that would change her mind, but having the prospect of seeing her, touching her right there, to only be taken from you by a fucking doppelgänger, it’s, ugh, so infuriating.

So you forget your barely-eaten-muffin and your half-finished-coffee and march to L Corp. The rush going through your head is so intense, you don’t even take a minute to second guess what you’re doing. And, wow, you should. You should for sure think about what the hell are you going to say to her when you’re face-to-face.

But you don’t, and then, when you realize, you're marching inside her office and your so-called resolution dissolves right when you see her.

“Y/N!” She exclaims, surprised. “What is –” She double checks your expression. “Is everything alright?”

You must look like a total insane person. But you almost don’t care, because you know she’s seen all of you already. But a part of you still cares a little, wanting her to see you only in your best light.

“I saw someone who looked like you at our favorite coffee shop.”

“Oh?” Because what else could she say about this nonsense.

“But she wasn’t you.” And you see it on her face that she’s about to say ‘obviously’, so you do it for her. “Obviously.”

“Right.”

“And I admit, Lena, I haven’t thought this through. I marched in here looking completely irrational. But the thing is when I saw her face, and she wasn’t you, I needed – It had to be you. I – I sound insane, don’t I?”

Lena chuckles, getting up from her chair and rounding the table to stop in front of you. “You missed my face.” She suggests an easier explanation.

“Yeah.” You let out in one breathe. “I did. I mean, you have a really nice one, so-”

She chuckles again, the way she always used to. Like no time has passed. Like nothing has changed between you two. “Funny, I missed yours too.”

“You did?” A nod from her end answers your question. “You do. Wow.”

“How are you?” She asks, so soft, so pure. So full of something more than curiosity, or maybe you are overthinking her every step.

“Great.” But you’re lying through your teeth. “Good.” You breathe out one more time. “I’m ok.” You admit.

Lena’s hand hover closer to your face, as if she is thinking on whether she should touch you so she can comfort you. But her hand retracts and she sighs, realizing the same thing you just did. She doesn't have to comfort you because you’re not hers anymore.

“I’m sorry.” Instinctively your hands go to your pockets. “I came in here and acted like you weren’t busy at all, which is-”

“True.” She shrugs. “For, maybe, the first time all week. But yeah, I’m free and I could use a coffee.”

You try to hold a smile, but you can’t, because you know Lena. She wouldn’t just ask you to go back to the coffee shop with her. No, she would make you ask her for it, already knowing her answer is definitely a yes.

“Wanna-”

“Yes.” Come before you’re even done with the question, and then you smile wider. You two start walking together towards the elevator. “So, this woman who looked like me…”

“Beautiful.” You make sure she knows. “Dark hair, perfect eyebrows, piercing green eyes. Just so pretty.”

“Right.” You hear a little bit of disappointment in her voice, as if she didn’t realize you were talking entirely about her.

“But there was one thing I just couldn’t accept.” Lena raises her eyebrows at you in question. “She wasn’t you. And no look-alike can ever take your place.” She smiles, but doesn’t do more than that.

You two make your way to the coffee shop, and she buys you another round. You talk, but not really. She’s cautious and you’re dancing around the words you truly needed to say. And no one asks any life-changing questions, or acts on honest slips up that could complicate the whole situation.

And while you wonder if you should let her go, she’s gone. And you’re gone too, to the other side of town, leaving this moment for what it was. Two ex lovers trying to deal with the fact that despite all the love and care, things didn’t work out.

And things should be simple. It should be all. Because you tried, you did. But Lena works so hard, too much even. Between L Corp and saving the world with the Superfriends, there was never too much time she could use to be with you.

And because you were so in love, you didn’t care. You took the scraps. Enjoyed the coffees and the little to no demonstration of love in public. You accepted the midnight dinners invitations and what your friends would call the ‘after work booty calls’.

At first it was fine. It was great hopping on her private jet and walking around Paris while she went to a meeting. It was ok, not being able to tell anyone you were together, because you knew she was all yours and that was enough.

Until it wasn’t.

Until you wanted to go to romantic restaurants with your girlfriend and couldn’t. Wanted her to walk beside you while you discovered cute little places in other countries. Wanted to wake up next to her instead of having her run out the door first thing in the morning.

But you loved her, and she loved you too. You know that much.

I should’ve been all. One doppelgänger, unresolved feelings, begrudgingly moving on.

Except it wasn’t.

“Lena?” You ask, surprised. You look at the clock on the wall just to be sure. Yep, it’s the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. “Um, what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” She smiles, unbothered by the surprise look on your face.

You furrow your brows, opening the door more so she can come inside. “Is everything alright? Did something happen?”

“I missed your face.” You smile at her, still finding it weird since you two met a few days ago in your weird outburst. “You have a really nice one, so…”

“Ah, good one.” You point to the couch and she makes her way there. You go to the fridge, instead. “Can I get you anything?”

“You.”

What comes out of your mouth cannot be described as a word, but it’s a shriek of excitement and confusion. Something that not even an ‘huh’ could have expressed better.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong…” you try, quick to explain yourself. “I miss you like crazy. But, um — you broke up with me because I was asking a lot more than you could give me, remember?”

“Well,” Lena sets her purse to the side, changing her posture into something more inviting. Her posture slouches a little and her hands tremble on her lap. That Lena. That’s the one you love. “I was scared. I had feelings for you that were bigger than I’ve had for anyone before. You weren’t asking a lot. Darling, you were asking the bare minimum.”

You’re not surprised by what she is saying, because duh, of course you weren’t asking anything absurd out of her, but having Lena admitting this to you is still confusing.

“I wanna give it to you. Everything you gave me and deserved.” She touches your face when you finally sit back on the couch with her. “Please, give me another chance.”

You stare at her, mouth agape, eyebrows raised, the whole shocked face. “I – I want that. I do. But I need to know what changed? And why now?”

“You were gone, and I was unhappy. Just – clearly not ok. Everyone knew exactly why. God, Kara wouldn’t shut up about it and how I made this huge mistake and how I was sabotaging my happiness. And I knew that. You know, deep down, I obviously knew that.” She finally breathes, you nod for her to go on, signaling that you’re following. “But it’s a life long of trying to convince myself I don’t need anyone, that Luthors don’t love or whatever.”

“Yeah, I got that speech once or twice before.”

“You did, ‘cause I’m a dick, see?” She breathes out a forced smile. “But then you barged in my office and I finally smiled again, so I lied.” You furrow your brows again. “I had a meeting. I was not free, but I wanted to talk and see you, I needed you more than I wanted to admit.”

“And so you waited until a Wednesday afternoon to do a big grand gesture?” You smirk, knowing the answer.

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt.” Lena jokes and you let out a little smile to that. “But no, I actually saw your doppelgänger.”

“What?” You bark, finding the coincidence incredible.

“She was walking on the street and I had my driver follow her for a while.” You open your mouth but she cuts you off, “I know, creepy as hell. And turns out she looked nothing like you aside from the hair.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Which only meant I was so desperate to see you, I was willing to see you in every face on the street.”

“Lena.” The way you say her name says it all. Thick of want and need. Embedded with devotion and love. She would be crazy if she didn’t kiss you after that.

Which she does. Smiling on your lips right after, heart beating so fast and happy.

“No more midnight dinners.” Lena promises, and you smile from ear to ear. She pecks your lips. “No more visiting places alone.” Another chaste kiss. “No more after work booty calls.”

“I mean, I won’t say no to any booty call.” You joke and she chuckles at you, looking at you fondly.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Now you’re going to stop stalking people with my hair color around?”

“Are you going to stop describing other woman as ‘just so pretty’?”

“Not when they look like you, I won’t.”

You can see how difficult it is for Lena to stop working so much and manage her time better between two jobs, but she does it. She works hard for it. Takes two days every time she’s going on a work trip, so she can spend at least one entire day with you. National city is quick to find out you two are together and she deals with that perfectly. But the ultimate change that happens is that you get to go to bed and wake up everyday next to her. And you love it just as much as you love her.

#supergirl fanfiction #lena x reader #lena luthor #supergirl #reader insert

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mediocre-writerr · 1 year

Note

congrats on 2k! if you can, i'd love a wanda maximoff x romanoff!reader! based on the prompt "all that we are is all that we'll ever be because he's the one waiting at home." - smoke slow, joshua bassett

maybe reader and wanda had a secret relationship going on, but wanda is dating natasha right now. just super angsty, maybe with a happy ending or not, it's up to you!

thank you! and congrats again!

smoke slow [wanda maximoff]

summary: a college au; you and wanda started breaking away from the crowd and it started innocently, until it wasn't. the biggest problem, she's dating your older sister.

warnings: a few curse words, mentions of smut, angst, smoking, mentions of death, mentions of addictions

pairings: wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x sister!reader, yelena belova x sister!reader

*not my gif*

The night was alive. The air was so thick and smokey. The music thrummed straight through the bodies surrounding you and into your eardrums. It mixed with a variety of conversations, half of them were high-induced philosophies and theories, while the other half were drunken confessions. Sweat flicked through the air with the start of every dance move. Tony Stark’s parties, always a rager, no matter what the occasion.

You shimmied off the dance floor, avoiding the hormone monsters that are college students grinding on one another. You were desperate for some sort of fresh air, away from the stuffiness of the dance floor. The kitchen was somewhat empty, more sober people maintaining intelligent conversations. Grabbing a red solo cup, you filled your cup with beer, as you people watched. Thor was trying his hardest to be Valkyrie in beer pong, but by the looks of the cups, he was failing. Steve, Bucky, and Sam had their arms wrapped around one on another as they sang along to some tune. But your eyes were torn from the scene when shouts of her name rang throughout your ear.

“Wanda!!” Clint yelled the loudest.

Her emerald eyes found yours, like it was the most natural thing in the world, her lips quirked upwards slightly. As quick as it appeared, it faded away, like reality finally caught up to her. You let out a deep breath as you maintained eye contact, trying to slow your racing heartbeat, “Y/N! Dude!” Scott yelled and you looked down at your cup to see it spilling over the edge like Niagra Falls.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, turning off the tap, and wiping off your beer soaked hands. Your eyes filtered back up to Wanda, as the redheaded Russian appeared behind her, intertwining their fingers together. You reach for the paper towel roll, ripping off a few pieces to clean up the mess you made.

“Wow sestra, the party started an hour ago and you’re already making a mess,” Natasha’s voice made you freeze in your spot. You turn to face your older sister wearing her infamous shit-eating smirk.

Your eyes drifted down to their intertwined hands as you gave them your best smile, “Ouch Nat, no, how’s my favorite sister doing? Or I’m so happy to see you!” You tease and she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Yelena would kick my ass if she heard me say that you’re my favorite sister,” Nat said, her eyes scanning the crowd. “Where is she anyway?”

You shrug, “Last time I checked she was about to play a game with Kate. Something about shooting arrows at beer bottles that rested on top of Peter’s head,” Natasha’s eyes widen at your nonchalant tone. Her eyes once more scanning the crowd for your younger sister. “Anyway, back to the whole favorite thing. She can’t kick your ass if it’s the truth. I mean I’m your favorite sister, right?” Your sister rolls her eyes, as she starts weaving her way through the crowd in search of Yelena, “Wait! Nat! I’m your favorite, right?!” you yell over the loud music and the indistinct chatter.

Wanda chuckles, “Are they really shooting beer bottles off of Peter’s head?” She asks with a knowing look in her eyes.

Your eyes shined back with mischief, shaking your head, “Nope! Kate and Yelena suggested the idea, but Peter quickly shot it down, despite them trying to blackmail him.” The two of you share a giggle at the thought of the best friends.

“They’re gonna kill that poor boy one day,” she says and you nod your head in agreement. The two of you stand there in a comfortable silence, people watching.

Wanda’s hand drifts closer to yours, desperate for some sort of contact with you. Before she intertwines your fingers together, you pull away quickly, “Shit. I promised Steve I would bring him this beer. He’s probably looking for where I am, I’ll catch you later,” you smile at her before taking the red solo cup and whisking yourself away. You left so fast, you didn’t get a chance to see Wanda’s disappointed look on her face.

The stuffy room suddenly felt suffocating, slipping out to the backyard, it was a lot less crowded. You slipped your shoes off, rolling up the cuffs of your jeans, as you dipped your legs into the pool. The cool summer night breeze brushed through your hair, drying the sweat that lingered from the dance floor. You grabbed your pack of cigarettes from your back pocket, flickering your lighter to slowly kill yourself by inhaling the small cancerous stick.

Your mind drifted back to the brunette inside, you could marry her. You really wanted to fucking marry her. You had never felt this way about anyone before. Even though you shouldn’t, you know damn well that you shouldn’t. But that night over winter break changed everything for you.

The winter breeze shook through your body, as your legs dipped into the freezing water. You hugged your jacket tighter against your body, pulling out the pack of cigarettes from your jacket pocket. You felt someone’s presence next to you, as they sat down, dipping their own feet into the pool. You slowly inhaled from the nicotine lit stick, as you turned your head to face the unknown presence. Wanda had a sheepish smile on her face, her brunette hair tucked back behind her ears, “Can I have a light?” she asks.

You chuckle softly, flicking the ash onto the concrete next to you, “Wanda Maximoff, having a smoke? Since when?”

“Since right now. I want to try one,” she said, sitting up straight, her voice sounding confident, like she knew what she was doing.

“No, I’m not gonna give you one,” you laugh at her shocked face.

“But why not? You do it all the time!” she questioned with her eyebrows furrowed and matching pout on her face.

God she looked so adorable, but you quickly shook that intrusive thought off, “Exactly I do it all the time, which doesn’t make it a good thing. These little guys are terrible for you, especially when you get addicted. They slowly kill you from the inside out. I mean I have one every day and you know what? It’ll probably kill me one day. At the time, I didn’t have anyone care enough about me to tell me to stop. So no you absolutely can not have one because if I give you one my sister would probably kill me before the smoking does."

She looks at you with her eyes widened and a small smile, "Are you sure this is about Nat kicking your ass or do you not want to give me one because you care about me?" She teased in a sing songy voice as a light pink coats your cheeks.

“Definitely more about my sister kicking my ass. Speaking of my sister, I’m honestly surprised you came to this party. My sister is off on a work trip in Boston and you’re usually attached at the hip.”

She rolls her eyes, “Well, someone was a little convincing today with the whole ‘Wanda please! We haven’t hung out together since you started dating my sister!’ begging act that you pulled today.”

“Excuse me! I was not begging!” you bring your voice down to a whisper, leaning towards her ear, “Trust me Maximoff, when I’m begging there'll be much less clothes on,” you wink at her, causing her eyes to widen and a soft blush to dust over her cheeks. She slaps your shoulder, throwing her face in her hands before letting out a groan, “C’mon, pretty girl, let’s get you a drink!”

You get thrown back into reality, when Thor drunkenly jumps into the pool and the cool water sprays across your face, “Sorry Y/N! Thor lost at beer pong and this was the punishment!” Valkyrie explained and you gave her a tight lipped smile before getting up and going back inside.

You were just going to sit by the window sill away from the rest of the party, but your eyes found Natasha and Wanda’s figures on the dance floor. The two of them moved sensually to the beat and you couldn’t help, but feel the ache in your heart. You couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away until those god damn green eyes found yours and you quickly looked away, sneaking off towards the balcony. No one else really knew about it. But you knew it, all too well.

Wanda’s breath was close to your ear, as she tried to get you to hear her over the pounding music, “Do you want to break away from all of this? I think I need a little breather.”

You nod, “C’mon, I know the perfect place,” you extend her hand out to her and she intertwines your fingers together, not wanting to get separated in the crowd.

Leading her through the house and to the balcony on the top floor, you opened the door for her. The rest of the party seemed to have faded away from your secluded spot. The only real noise was the muffled music coming from downstairs, but even that seemed like it was miles away. The drinks were taking effect, not too bad enough to have you spinning, but a nice little buzz in your head.

The two of you take a seat on the little patio chairs, looking up at the bright city skyline. People like to think of the New York City skyline as one of the most beautiful views in the world, but as Wanda sits next to you with the bright city lights illuminating her face, it definitely tops the city. Once more, you fetch out your pack of cigarettes, lighting another one as it rested in between your fingers.

“You said that when you first started smoking it felt like you had no one who cared about you, why is that?” the brunette asks, staring at you intently as you exhale a puff of smoke.

You shrug, flicking the ash onto the ground, “I started back when we were seniors in high school, after my mom died and my dad left. Nat turned 18 not too long before my mom died and she was forced into the role of being an actual adult because when you turn 18, you’re not really an adult even though you’re labeled as one. Some 18 year olds just finished high school, and are still living with their parents, but Nat had to take care of two younger sisters. She had to put her life on hold for me and Lena. Instead of helping her and supporting her, when our mom died I kind of blew off all responsibilities. I turned rebellious, stopped playing volleyball, hung out with the wrong crowd. Nat always had the disappointed mom look and she was always angry at me, which made Yelena angry with me all the time. So, when I started smoking our relationship was so bad, that it felt like neither of them would have cared.”

“I didn’t know that,” she whispered. It was eye opening to her, you were her best friend. Of course, she knew that your mom died and that your dad left as soon as she died. But it seemed like a new side of you was shining through.

“Not a lot of people do. It’s one of the things I regret the most, you know? I was so selfish back then. I mean even Yelena acted like more of an adult than I did. Now every time I light one of these guys, it’s a constant reminder of what I did…or well I guess what I didn’t do. My punishment for how I acted back then,” you chuckle lightly, “I’ve never said that before, so I better not regret telling you Maximoff.” A lighthearted tone in your voice, as you try to hide the self depreciation in it.

Her head tilts to the side and her eyes are lit up, like you just showed her the most amazing thing in the world, “You won’t.”

A shiver ripples through her body and you quickly shrug off your jacket, placing them over her body. Your scent of smoke and subtle hints of vanilla invaded her senses, quickly becoming addicted to it. “Why didn’t you bring a jacket, Wands? My sister’s not here, so who are you trying to impress,” you quip and she smiles, shaking her head.

“No one,” she mutters, but she desperately wishes she could say, ‘you’.

“What’s got you so angry?” Yelena asks, plopping down next to you with her own red solo cup in her hand. The soft memory fading away from your mind as you shrug. The itch to reach for another cig was becoming too strong.

“Nothing. How’d you even know I was up here?”

“I saw you pouting like Peter Parker when Kate and I make fun of him, so I followed you up here,” she shrugs, “So do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really," you say pulling at the loose thread from the rips in your jeans.

She scoffs, “Let me rephrase that question, do you not want to talk to me about it because it’s about Wanda?”

“Yelena don’t-“

“No Y/N. Look, whatever you and Wanda had going on, it needs to stop,” your younger sister scolds.

You stand up abruptly, rubbing your face with your hands, “Don’t you think I know that? You’ve already lectured me once and I’ve kept my distance from her since then. I am trying my best! Now please, just leave me here to sulk, I’ll be fine just like I always am.”

She throws the pack of cigarettes that you didn’t even know fell out of your pocket. Some of them rolling onto the ground, “You told me you quit these too! You don’t think I could smell the smoke off of you right now? I may be your little sister, but I am not stupid. So if you were lying about these, how do I know you’re really lying about stopping things with Wanda?”

She opens the balcony door about to walk in, but she stops just as she enters the frame, “You’re supposed to be the older sister, right?” She looks at you intently like she’s waiting for an answer and you just nod. “So fucking act like it.”

Yelena slams the door shut. You collapse onto the patio chair, dropping your face into your hands as you let out a shaky breath. Your shaky hands reached for the pack of cigarettes on the floor, neatly placing it in a box, but keeping one of them out, lighting it as it rests in between your lips.

How did everything get so fucked up?

“I’m not this type of girl,” Wanda whispers in the middle of the night. You and your sisters had your closest friends over for a small party. Everyone else seemed to have passed out from Yelena’s drinking games. But both you and Wanda were fighting dreamland and instead giving into your fantasies.

The spring breeze rippled through the two of you as you stood out on your apartment balcony. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, leaning in a bit closer, “I don’t sneak around in the middle of the night and secretly hope that my girlfriend's sister is awake. I don’t hug someone for longer than what is deemed friendly in a stranger’s eyes. I don’t immediately look at someone who’s not my girlfriend after anyone tells a joke just to see their smile,” she says, as the two of you just continue to get lost into each other’s eyes.

You start shrinking under her gaze, reaching for the pack of cigarettes in your hoodie pocket. You were about to light it when Wanda grabbed the lighter and the rest of the pack that you held in your hand. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared into her beautiful green eyes, “You once told me a month ago that you felt like you had no one who cared enough to tell you to stop smoking when you first started. So, I’m telling you right now that I care about you and I don’t want you to kill yourself with these stupid sticks.”

A shy smile curled onto your face, as you let her throw your pack into the trash can. “I’m not that kind of girl either, but as I’m staring into those goddamn eyes of yours all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.” You quip back, ignoring the guilt induced thoughts that are trying to betray what your heart is screaming at.

She snorted at your response, a mischievous smile on her face. The pad of Wanda’s thumb gently traces over your lips and your body freezes. Her hands hesitantly move from your lips to your cheeks, as she stares into your eyes begging for approval. Without thinking, you leaned in and kissed her lips, and the brunette immediately returned the kiss gently.

You place your hands on her chest, pressing harder against her lips. She smiles to herself as she places her hand on your waist. Your kisses become more passionate as your tongue battles for dominance. Her hands on your hips pulled you closer and your cold hands quickly slid under your shirt.

As she ran out of breath, she decided to slide down to her neck, leaving sloppy kisses. You let out a small moan in pleasure, “Wanda?” She hums in response, slightly nipping your neck, “Do you want to take this to my room?”

“Please,” she mumbled against your neck.

When it was over, the two of you lay next to each other. The pants of your breathing filled your bedroom. Your bare chests moving in perfect rhythm to your shared heartbeat. The beautiful brunette shifts her body towards you, looking at you with droopy eyes and tired smile.

“Hi,” Wanda whispered shyly.

“Hi,” you said, charmed.

She grabs your fingers and plays with them, weaving her own fingers between them, bringing your hand up to your lips, pressing a soft kiss against it. Your hands trace figures along your hip. Her gentle hand brushes away a stray piece of hair that fell across your face, as she tucked it into place.

“I have always wanted you,” she whispers, “It’s always been you.”

What should’ve been the last time turned into a past time. Two best friends breaking away from a party started innocently. Gossiping in the bathrooms quickly turned into heated makeout sessions. A breather on the balcony away from your drunken peers turned into deep conversations with her head tucked into the crook of your neck as you hold onto each other.

That one tiny spark that the two of you wouldn’t put out was slowly coming to the end of the cigarette. The cigarette stick was nothing, but a nub as it was about to disintegrate into thin air.

At first it was fun, making a million excuses just to have a simple moment alone. Until, the need for something more came to be and the realization of what the two of you had done seeped into your bloodstream like some sort of drug. A drug that you couldn’t kick. You had stopped smoking for her, but she was this new drug that you were terribly addicted to.

Wanda’s head rested on the top of your chest, as your arms wrapped securely around her. From the curtains of your window, you could see the sun start to slowly rise, and the soft snores from her mouth filled the room.

You kiss the top of her head gently, “Wands,” you whispered in her ear, scratching her back. A soft hum escaped her lips as she stirred in your arms, “The sun’s coming up, you should sneak out before Yelena wakes up.”

“Just a few more minutes,” she whispers, nuzzling deeper into your neck.

“We don’t have a few more minutes, darling,” you respond with a soft smile on your face. She lets out a soft groan before lifting herself off of you. Wanda sat up, pulling your oversized t-shirt over her, and a pair of shorts. Her hair was slightly disheveled and her tired eyes were one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. “You’re a work of art, Wanda Maximoff.”

She snorted, “That was lame,” she mumbled, leaning down to kiss you. Her lips slightly chapped, but you didn’t care, you just loved the feeling of her lips on yours. “I’ll see you at the party tomorrow night, where we are going to go through with our plan and tell Natasha together, right?”

Even though her eyes were still droopy, she looked at you intently, “Right,” you mumbled against her lips, pressing another kiss to them.

“Y/N, I need you to promise me this time. Every time we’ve made a plan to tell her the truth, you’ve backed out. We can’t keep lying to her like this. I want to be with you the right way. So, please…for me?” she whispered to you.

You let out a sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before touching them together, “I promise.”

“I love you,” she whispered into the thin air.

“I love you. I have loved you, well…definitely longer than I should have. We’ll tell her tonight and we’ll face the consequences together. I promise,” A wide smile crosses her face and how you so desperately wish you could hold onto that smile forever. She wraps her arms around your neck, pulling herself closer to you as she kisses you with so much love, you don’t know how your heart hasn’t exploded. “Now, you should probably get going before Lena wakes up. C’mon pretty girl, I’ll walk you out,” you whisper to her, kissing her quickly.

The two of you reach your apartment door, kissing her once more before asking her to text you when she gets home. You were about to stumble back to bed, desperate for some shut eye, when you bumped into a figure. Your eyes flickered onto your little sister.

“What are you doing up so early?” She questions.

“I needed some water, so I just chugged a glass,” you lied. “Why are you up so early?”

“I promised Kate that I would go on a morning run with her, Peter, and Lucky this morning,” she answered, staring at you intently.

You give her a tight lipped smile, “Well, I uh hope you have fun. I’ll see you when you get-“

“Are you sure you were just grabbing some water? Because from what I saw from here, you were just walking Wanda out of the apartment. She was wearing one of your shirts, which I thought was fishy. But I just thought that maybe she just spent the night. I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me, but that’s cool. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I didn't want to jump to conclusions. But all of that benefit of the doubt bullshit I told myself flew out my head when I saw you kiss her goodbye. What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Lena, look-“

“How long?” She interrogated you and your eyes drift down to your hands as you fiddled with them. Your little sister looked down to meet your gaze, forcing you to look her in the eyes, “How long, Y/N?”

“For the last three months, but we’re planning to tell her the truth tomorrow night at Stark’s party.”

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, Y/N. Nat has sacrificed everything for us! Everything! She declined her top college on the west coast to stay home and take care of us. She took crappy jobs that she didn’t want just to make ends meet when she was just 18 years old! She wasn’t like you. She didn’t throw away her volleyball scholarships. She gave them up. She sacrificed and lost everything! For me,” she took a dangerous step closer to you, pushing her finger into your chest. “And you! Natasha wanted us to have the best life that mom had always promised us, even if that meant putting her life on hold. And this is how you’re going to repay her for that? You're going to repay her by sneaking around with her girlfriend?!”

“That is not fair, Lena!” you scold her.

She scoffs, “Not fair? Do you know what’s not fair, Y/N? The money she saved in her savings account all throughout high school quickly drained, because she had to bail you out of jail more than once. You were lucky that Steve’s dad was the sheriff so it never touched a sliver of your record, but Nat still had to pay the fines. It’s not fair that when I was a sophomore in high school, I couldn’t go to any football games or dances because I had to grow up and cover all of your shifts while you were off getting shit faced somewhere else!”

“My mom died-“ you were about to argue.

“So did ours, Y/N!” she screamed at you. “Yet, Natasha and I were picking up the pieces and you kept destroying everything in sight. So, I want you to think about this when you and Wanda tell Natasha all about your relationship tomorrow night, she has given everything she loves up for you and me. Wanda is just going to be one more thing she loses because of you.”

The two of you stayed there in a tense silence, just staring at one another with tear filled eyes. Until the front door swung open. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as your older sister wheeled in her suitcase from her latest business trip.

A low whistle left her lips as she saw the standoff between the two of you, “Is everything okay?”

Yelena was first to break her gaze, forcing a smile on her face, something she has gotten far too good at. “Yeah, welcome home, sestra. I’m about to head out to go on a morning run with Kate and Peter, I'll see you guys later.”

“What was that about?” Nat asked as your younger sister left.

You shrug, “No idea,” you clear your throat, subtly wiping away at your eyes while she starts brewing some coffee. “How was the trip?”

The balcony door creaked open as you lit another cigarette. “Detka? What are you doing?” Wanda’s voice filled the thick air, grabbing the cigarette from your lips and throwing it out. “You haven’t smoked for the last three months, when’d you even get a pack? What happened?”

Your eyes were bloodshot from holding back the tears that you were so desperately trying to keep in. You know what has to happen.

The drug that is Wanda Maximoff gave you such a high. You were so addicted to the illusions of the love between you and her. A love that never was and never will be. The worst part about any addiction is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions that leaving them behind is like killing a part of you that taught you how to survive. And all that’s left of you is pain and misery.

“Y/N, why have you been avoiding me?” Wanda questions, her voice shaking just a little bit.

You shrug, “You seem a little preoccupied. I didn’t want to intrude,” you look out at the skyline, desperately avoiding her gaze.

“Oh okay. So this has nothing to do with what we’re going to tell Nat tonight?”

You shook your head, “There’s nothing to tell. There’s nothing going on between us, Wanda. There can’t be anything going on,” you look at her, the tears that you were trying to hold back were falling like droplets of rain against your car window. “You’re my best friend and you’re my sister’s girlfriend. That’s all.”

“You’re not just my best friend, Y/N, and you know it. You can’t pretend like we never happened because it did, it happened. And I don’t regret it, not one bit. I am in love with you, Y/N, and I know what we did wasn’t right, but I can’t help but love you,” she explains to you, trying to wrap her arms around you, but you shake your head once more as you step away from her.

“This can’t happen. We need to pretend like none of this happened-“ you begged her. You didn’t want to make this harder than it needed to be.

“We have been sneaking around for months! Even if she doesn’t know it, we have already hurt her! If we tell her together, we are doing right by Natasha. She’s going to be heartbroken and angry, but she’s going to realize one day that this was the right thing to do. She deserves better than someone who’s in love with her sister.”

There was a silence that followed, as you just continued to stare at her speechless, “I can’t-“ your voice breaks, as you look down at your hands.

Wanda’s arms wrapped around your waist and you weren’t fighting it anymore. She placed her forehead against yours, her voice pleading, “I’ll fix it please, I’ll do anything. We don’t have to tell Nat until you’re ready, just please don’t do this.”

“You can’t fix this, Wands. The only person who can fix this is me. You’re right, Nat deserves better, and after all the shit I put her through the last five years, I'm going to give that to her. I’m going to be the sister she should’ve had by her side when our mom died. So that means letting you go,” you whispered, biting your lip to stop the sobs that are trying to escape. “You deserve better than me anyway, Wands. Someone like my sister,”

You kiss her forehead, before pulling away from her embrace, “I’m sorry,” you whisper to her.

You avoided her tear stained cheeks and glossy eyes, as you continued to sit out and stare at the city before you. You destroyed everything in sight, but this time you were going to be the one to pick up all the pieces. Suddenly, her gaze wasn’t on you anymore and the balcony door was being slammed shut.

Your eyes drift to the voices at the front of the house, “Wanda, what happened?” Nat’s voice rings in your ear and you can see them from where you’re sitting.

“Nothing, it was just too crowded and everything was too overwhelming. I think I just need to go home,” she says and you hate how her tears are because of you. Your older sister wrapped her strong arms around the distressed girl, holding her tighter.

Fishing out your pack, you lit the small cigarette, enjoying the way it made your head feel. Wanda’s eyes flickered up towards the balcony, noticing the smoke emitting off of it. You let out a sigh, staring at the girl in front of you. All that the two of you were was all you were ever going to be because she always had someone waiting at home.

“C’mon, let’s go home,” Nat whispered to her, intertwining their fingers together, and leading her to the car.

Nicotine doesn't taste the same as Wanda did, but it’ll have to do.

#wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #a mediocre 2k party

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