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#just thought i'd mention it because I wasn't sure how clear it was and my 2am brain is not a trustworthy resource
cherrygorilla · 9 months
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The Mixtape Mysteries: Chapter 1 (Part 2)
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Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne - 4:53
Yes, it is a ridiculous amount of time since I last posted anything to do with this (or anything at all really), but I've been dying to write for this story again, so I thought it would be a good way to help me get my groove back. Plus, I wanted to wait until Camp Wanamaker was done before I went back to working on Acting School Drop Out (because I feel like I might be able to use some stuff that's been mentioned in the next part lol). So, after months and months of uni stress that's kept me away from my google doc, here's the next installment of the story that's kept me going through it all.
Listen along with the gang here. Enjoy!
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Heavy eyelids dropped over a pair of umber eyes trying, and failing, to focus on the computer screen in front of them. Whilst the radio often felt like Butchy's only co-worker, today it just seemed to be functioning as a lullaby machine - and the smooth, fade-out ending of Electric Light Orchestra's 'Evil Woman' just proved the point further. One second he was staring blankly at a page of pixelated text on a fuzzy screen, and then the next thing he knew he was drooling into the palm of his hand and almost falling off his chair at the sound of a car racing past his window. 
It's not even that he was tired - it was barely even 11am for Christ's sake - he was just so bored his brain was shutting down from lack of stimulation. And considering the latest turn of events, his body wasn't far behind. The roaring engine disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, leaving the incessant ticking of the plastic wall clock in its place. It didn't matter what kind of car it was, or where the hell it was going; all Butchy knew was that he wanted to be in it. Hopefully travelling far, far away from this crappy, dead-end town, and this shoe box of an office, that was more dust than desk, and smelled like a wet rat. 
Begrudgingly, he gathered himself together and finished typing out the latest file he'd been working on - something about trespassing in the old steel mill, he didn't care enough to look into the details. Tipping his head back, he rubbed his palms across his eyes, trying to press as hard as he could to draw some sort of alertness to the forefront of his mind. If anything, it just made him more tired.
One glance across his desk let his gaze settle on the dorky Star Wars mug Royce and Bentley had gifted him on his last birthday, and for the first time since he'd slumped in the splitting leather swivel-chair that morning, a ghost of a smile graced his features. He took a swig and drained the mug of the last of its contents: bitter, room-temperature coffee. Wincing at the taste, he picked up the next file to work on, but swiftly dropped it in favour of refilling his mug. After all, the walk to the coffee pot in the main office was the only change of scenery he got all day. Sometimes he watered the dying yucca plant beside him with the rancid liquid just so that he had an excuse to get away from his desk.
The tapping of keyboards and mumblings of the same, tedious phone calls he overheard every day met Butchy's ears as he lumbered down the hall and pushed open the office door. Lurking behind the frosted panel, caked in as much dust as the rest of the building, was the rag-tag reception team, consisting of three women Butchy had absolutely no intention of even looking at, let alone speaking to. He'd given up trying to make conversation with his co-workers pretty quickly after every meagre attempt on his end had been ignored. Most shifts passed without him uttering a single word. However, Lela ditching his ride that morning must have thrown him off more than he realised, because this shift was about to become an anomaly. 
"So I said to him: If you know so much about the damn sausages, why don't you cook 'em yourself?" 
"I bet he knows a lot about one kind of sausage."
"Oh Jen, pull your mind out of the gutter, you sound like a teenager."
"She practically still is one."
"I'm right though, aren't I?"
A strained sigh slipped past Butchy's lips before he could stop it. The nasal drones from the women behind him were enough to make his eye twitch at the best of times, but the added scraping of Jennifer's nail file made it inevitable. Before he could short-circuit altogether though, one of the adjoining doors to the main office was pushed open, and the conversation unfolding behind it immediately caught his attention. 
Heaving a sigh that put the young trainee's to shame, the fourth, and final receptionist, led the charge into the room - two officers hot on her heels. "Well, you'll just have to go alone then, won't you, gentlemen?" 
"We can't just 'go alone', the chief's the only one that goes on solo investigations. What if it's dangerous? What if we need back-up?"
"And what, pray tell, Officer Reynolds, is so 'dangerous' about a broken store window?"
"Well from the sounds of things it's a pretty clear-cut robbery. What if the culprit's still on the scene? What if he's armed?"
"Why are you assumin' it's a 'he'?" Jennifer piped up with a smirk, punctuating her question by blowing the acrylic dust from the tip of her nail. 
As expected, neither officer batted an eyelid at her interruption. 
"We got the call last night. You've got a higher chance of him sticking the damn window back together."
"But what if it's like that time when Old Man McRoberts'-"
"Enough, boys. I don't want to hear it," she finally snapped, slamming the stack of paperwork down on her desk so hard it even made her glasses chain quiver. Turning to the pair with her hands planted firmly on her hips, she continued. "Callahan, you're on patrol with Officer Powell; Reynolds, you're investigating that store window. Alone."
"But Fran, that never-"
"No, I don't want to hear another word. You're going solo, Reynolds, and that's that." 
"...Uh, I could go with you."
The whole office fell silent. Even Jennifer's nail file seemed to pause for thought. But all too soon, six pairs of eyes fell on Butchy, whose grip on his mug instinctively tightened under their bemused glares. He couldn't exactly blame them; even he couldn't believe that he'd dared to speak - let alone suggest such a thing. But then again, this was a perfect opportunity - perhaps the only opportunity he'd get (at least for the foreseeable future) to prove himself a worthy member of the team. Being stuck behind a computer screen all day was getting him nowhere - in fact, he was pretty sure he had even less respect now than when he'd first set foot through the door over a month ago. But working on a case, a real case, meant he could put all the skills he'd learnt in his training to the test - show everyone that potential he'd promised in his interview. This could be the making of Officer Bandoni. This could be his ticket out of that godawful, stuffy office. This could be-
"Oh my god, look at his face; he's serious."
God, he hated Jennifer. But he hated that cackling laugh of hers even more. 
"Jennifer," Linda, the crotchety receptionist to her left, scolded. If Butchy hadn't known better, with her brusque, hushed tone and sharp glare from over the top of her tortoise shell glasses, he'd have thought the woman was her mother. 
"Yeah right," Officer Callahan snorted. But a pause, followed by a brief glance in the new recruit's direction soon had his confidence faltering. "I- Oh…" 
"Hey, cut him some slack, Jen; the kid's still learning the ropes," Officer Reynolds piped up, ignoring Officer Callahan's attempts to hide his smirk by smoothing out his moustache, and instead sending the smarmy receptionist a blasé, yet stern frown. "Of course he wasn't being serious."
"Actually, I was," Butchy corrected. He set his mug down and stood his ground opposite the two officers, gently nudging his chin up and puffing out his chest in an attempt to outwardly show some of the confidence he was so desperately trying to scrounge together. At least that would help to mask the stubborn rage bubbling away in the pit of his stomach. The staff's dismissiveness was frustrating enough on its own, but being reduced to a 'kid' was downright infuriating. 'Kids' did not single-handedly raise their little sister. 'Kids' did not give up their weekends to go and work in a shitty garage for two bucks an hour all throughout high school just so they could have food on the table. 'Kids' did not shoulder the responsibility of four adults after stepping up to parent, not only his own sister, but the three boys next door too. Butchy hadn't felt like a 'kid' in years. He had always been the oldest - the most mature, the most dependable, the most capable… So for these six adults, who had barely given him the time of day in the month he'd been working with them, to stand there and tell him he was nothing more than a 'kid'...it was insulting. And he was determined to prove them wrong. "If you need another officer for back-up, and no one else is free, then why can't I go with you?" 
"Well, for one, you're not an officer-"
All Reynolds had to do was hold up a hand for Callahan to snuff out his snickers. "Because you haven't finished your training yet, son," he plainly explained. At least his withering look was softened by a bored tone. 
"But I've aced every part of the course I've completed so far," Butchy argued. "And this could be a chance for me to learn on the job, out in the field-"
"Son, let it go."
"You said, yourself, that I've got potential. Why can't I just show you-?"
"Look, kid, you're not ready - you won't be for a long time. I admire the optimism but we've gotta look at the facts here. And truth is: the dirt on Callahan's shoe's got more experience walkin' 'round a crime scene than you do. I know you want to get out of the office and get a taste of the action, but I can't work the case and babysit you at the same time. It's just not realistic."
'Babysit'? Butchy could feel the word in the palm of his hand as he clenched his fingers into a fist around it, crushing it, along with all its juvenile connotations. "I'm not a 'kid', I'm eighteen years old," he insisted, choosing his words and tone very carefully as he fought not to lose his cool. 
"Yeah, and I'm not a chainsmoker neither," Jennifer sniggered, appearing to have swapped her nail file for a cigarette during the confrontation. She took a long drag as her, deep, carob eyes latched onto his, lashes sprawling across a rough sea of streaky kohl, before letting the smoke leak out through her crimson-painted smirk. 
Butchy didn't know what was more nauseating: her attitude or the stench of tobacco hanging in the air. 
Officer Reynolds let out an exasperated sigh that soon stole back the trainee's glare though. "That's all well and good, but it's not gonna change my mind. You need more experience before you go out in the field, Bandoni," he explained, with an expression that told Butchy he was well-weary of the conversation now. "You can't learn to run before you learn to walk. It's just not realistic - if anything, it's naïve."
"But how am I supposed to get more experience when I'm stuck behind a desk all day?" 
Butchy's question was shot down though as the pair of officers crossed the room to the office's main door, back to their usual routine of barely acknowledging his existence. "If I'm not back by two for your CPR training, Officer Powell will handle it, okay?" Reynolds said as he plucked his hat from the coat stand in the corner and secured it atop his head of thinning, taupe hair. Knowing the new recruit wouldn't be satisfied with any answer he could give him, he'd just decided to brush the question aside altogether. 
And knowing that defiance, and further provoking, would get him nowhere, Butchy finally relaxed his hand, and gave a stiff nod. He silently watched the officers announce their departure to the room and felt his shoulders slump in defeat, his chest aching with betrayal. Officer Reynolds was supposed to be his mentor, the one who would take him under his wing as he learned the ropes - and yet he'd kicked him to the curb and spat in his face the one time he'd tried to do the right thing. At least that's how it felt to him anyway. 
"Bye boys," Jennifer trilled with a flirty giggle as the office door closed behind them. Tapping the ash from the end of her cigarette, she turned her vampish smirk to Butchy. "Nice little show there, Bandoni. And there I was thinking today was gonna be boring." 
Butchy's frown deepened as her scornful laughter battered his ears. The thick-headed she-devil wasn't worth his breath though - even the sickened huff that escaped his throat felt like a waste. His fingers once again closed, although this time they at least found the warm ceramic of his mug beneath them. Letting the heat seep into his skin, he took a deep breath in through his nose and tried to focus on anything else other than the anger boiling in his chest. At least the Star Wars mug, and the memory of receiving it, gave him something to anchor himself to: a way to discharge all the bitter resentment that had been steadily building for weeks, but had finally come to an ugly head. One more snarky comment from Danielle and he'd have hurled the coffee at her sloppy up-do, he knew it - he could feel himself teetering on the brink. 
And yet, a friendly hand in the centre of his back was all it took to draw him back from the edge. "I should be thanking you," Fran said with a sympathetic chuckle, and roll of her eyes at the officers' expense. "I thought they'd never leave."
Managing a weak, but grateful smile to the receptionist, Butchy finally picked his mug up from the drink station and took his leave before he could draw any more unwanted attention to himself. Jennifer's squawking voice still rang in his ears as his footsteps pounded down the hall, desperate (for once) to shut himself away in his office. At least in there he knew he was safe from further embarrassment, even if the only thing waiting for him was a stack of files on petty traffic crimes. Apparently reading about speeding fines and parking tickets was all the excitement his life could afford him for the time being. But, for once, he actually found some comfort in that. 
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"Well, Wuthering Heights, you were fun while you lasted, but I am not going to miss you," Vivien snorted, holding the worn paperback out in front of her, as if to address it like an old friend. 
The gentle chuckles that bounced the soft, chocolate brown curls beside her set her innocent little middle-school heart aflutter, and she caught herself clamping her lips shut in case it tried to escape. Craving the thrill of that sensation again, she snatched a shy glance in his direction before plastering the jovial grin back on her face. "Thank you for the 'A' though, Emily." 
"What are you thanking her for? We did all the hard work," Royce scoffed. "I wrote so many notes on the moors I'm pretty sure I almost gave myself Carpal Tunnel."
A snicker crinkled the brunette's nose. "Well you do have the neater handwriting."
"And you have all the good ideas," Royce chuckled, praying desperately that the prickling he felt across his cheeks wasn't what he thought it was. 
Stopping in front of a set of painted metal doors, Vivien turned to him with a disapproving frown. "Not all the good ideas." 
"Fine… most then."
Whilst Royce may have been able to keep his blush at bay, Vivien felt hers raging like a wildfire as she downplayed his compliment with an affectionate eye-roll and pushed her way out into the crisp autumn air of the Hawkins Middle parking lot. Hopefully a bracing breeze like the one that smacked her across the face the second she set foot onto the asphalt would help her systems stop running on overdrive, because right now she felt like a live wire about to catch light. One wrong move from Royce and he'd be fried to a crisp. 
Wrapping her free hand around the forearm that flanked him, protecting his arm from being barbecued should he decide to fondly bump her as they fell into stride once more, Vivien, composure regained, offered him a smile. "I guess that makes us a pretty good team then, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess it does," he agreed, holding her gaze for a beat and letting the sincerity of the moment swell alongside the tingly, warm feeling spreading through his chest. "...And we've got the A to prove it." Terrified by the sensation, he snorted out a laugh that shattered the tenderness of the moment just as awkwardly as how he almost tripped over his own feet because he was spending more time looking at Vivien and her freaking dimples than where he was walking. Damn his stupid hand-me-down sneakers from Miles and their stupidly long laces.
More awkward, cheerful chuckles tumbled from the middle schoolers' lips as Royce steadied himself again and they made their way over to the cluster of trees by the soccer field. It didn't take Vivien long to break the comfortable silence that had fallen over them though. "I don't know what we're going to do with ourselves now that project's finished; it completely took over our lives for like two whole weeks there."
"I'm sure we'll find something."
But Royce's laidback grin was the complete antithesis of Vivien's tense shoulders and skittish gaze. Then again, he had no idea what she was planning, or what her skating friends had been begging her to do for weeks. 
It couldn't be that hard, right? It was just one little question. She asked him questions all the time, this one didn't need to be any different. And besides, there wasn't really anything Vivien felt as though she couldn't talk to Royce about; he was her best friend, he was always her first port of call for anything that was bothering her - well, unless it was about something like her period; that was strictly for her mom…
But this was just a question: one that could very well have been asked without another thought had she not attached all the extra weight to it in her mind. And yet here she was, fighting her own tongue, trying to persuade it to recite the script she'd meticulously planned out in her head the night before, because for some reason it wasn't convinced by her promised ability to brush the sentiment off as 'just a friend thing' should Royce take it badly. And neither was her mind, really. 
Realistically though, what was the worst thing that could happen if he had a weird reaction? It's not like a meteor would crash out of the sky and strike them both down or anything, no matter how much she may want it to in the moment - she knew; she'd checked and it wasn't the right time of year for it. The worst that could happen is things might be a little awkward between them for a couple days, right? He wouldn't- 
-Actually, scratch that. Vivien didn't want to think about it. 
"Well, actually…" she began, before she could talk herself out of it any further. 
Vivien felt Royce's gaze land on her the second she stopped to clear her throat, which had become inexplicably scratchy ever since those last words had left it, clearly so reluctant to be said they'd dug their heels in the entire journey out into the cool, October air. And as soon as it did, it felt as though all her sweat glands released at once, adding a glistening sheen to her already crimson skin. Horrified, Vivien kept her gaze on the ground a few paces ahead of her to avoid having to find out if Royce had realised, and pushed her round, silver-rimmed glasses further up the bridge of her nose in an attempt to shield herself from further embarrassment as a result of her thirteen-year-old hormones wreaking havoc in her own body. 
Fearing that the longer she dragged this on, the more her subconscious would betray her, she swallowed her nerves and ploughed ahead. "Do you remember how you missed out on going to watch The NeverEnding Story this summer because you had to spend your ticket money on a new wheel for your bike?"
In her periphery, Vivien saw Royce's hand shift up to play with the fraying fabric of his backpack strap. He only ever did that when he felt uncomfortable. She didn't even have to look at him to confirm it either, the pause before he responded told her almost as much as his tone of voice did. 
"...Yeah, but what does that-?"
"Hey nerds!" 
Despite their disdain for the term, both Vivien and Royce's heads whipped around to try to locate the source of the voice, mentally cursing themselves for even acknowledging that the phrase could have been used to refer to them, let alone responding to it. But as green and brown eyes scanned a sparse sea of middle schoolers, searching for signs of anyone with ill-intent, they came up short. 
"Over here!"
The voice, carried on the wind, drew the pair's gazes to a figure, practically standing on the bench of a rotting, wooden picnic table to try to grab their attention and their disgruntled grumblings fell from their lips within seconds of one another, replaced by fond sighs. 
Bentley waved the duo towards him so spectacularly that, for all they knew, he could have been directing a plane to land. And whilst Vivien couldn't help but smile at the blond's boundless energy, she also couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment with how easily Royce shelved their conversation by letting out an almost relieved: "Duty calls."
"Yeah," Vivien agreed with a forced smile and a breathy, awkward laugh to match his. Although it dropped from her face the second he turned his back to head over to the shaded seating area. 
Once he was a good few paces ahead of her, and she was sure he was out of earshot, Vivien let out a frustrated huff, so hot she was surprised it didn't steam up her glasses. "Goddammit, Bentley," she muttered, shoving her library copy of Wuthering Heights into her backpack as she started trudging along behind Royce. "I almost got through it all that time."
But Bentley was none the wiser to Vivien's grand plans; too excited by his own news to consider that the pair may have been busy. And besides, the easygoing grin his older brother shot him as he approached made him none the wiser. 
"You've gotta come up with something better to call us, Benny," Royce said, fondly shaking his head as he climbed the last few steps of the hill leading up to the picnic table, adorned by Bentley's friends, the contents of at least three up-turned pencil cases, and enough sheets of paper to paper mache a small child. Thankfully, the table was sheltered from the worst of the breeze, so the most that a stray gust could do was flutter the edges beneath the various, makeshift paperweights (dog-eared textbooks and unopened juice boxes) strewn across the splintering surface.
"Why? You are 'nerds'," the boy laughed as he bounced back down into his spot on the bench seat beside August. 
"We are not," Royce protested.
"It got you to come over here, didn't it?" Bentley replied with a cheesy smirk. 
Royce let out a slightly bitter sigh as he fumbled through a response. "Well- yeah, but it's… demeaning." 
"Then why'd you respond to it?" Kona snorted, apparently more focused on selecting the right shade of crayon than bothering to look Royce in the eye as she insulted him. 
The bluntness of the eleven-year-old's comment drew a snort of laughter from him before he could stop it, whether it was in amusement or incredulity though he'd never know. But the smile that threatened to envelop his disapproving frown stayed firmly in place as he said, "Because I'm so used to everyone else calling us it, that's why. And you shouldn't be contributing to the problem anyway; I thought we were all on the same side here."
"You calling us nerds, RJ?" Zack piped up with a challenging quirk of his eyebrow. 
"Pot calls the kettle black," Royce smirked.
"White boy says what now?" Zack retorted with a confused frown that soon gave way to a mischievous grin the second that Royce rolled his eyes and playfully ruffled his hair, insisting through shared laughter that the boy knew what he meant. 
"What are you guys doing up here?" Vivien asked with a breathy laugh of her own as she arrived at the picnic table and caught the end of the boys' friendly roughhousing.
"Having fun until you nerds showed up," Zack scoffed as he shoved Royce's chest in an attempt to get the older boy away from him. But the bubbling giggles that tumbled from his lips as Royce expressed his disdain for the name once more told everyone all they needed to know about how much he enjoyed the brunet's company - proved even further when he resorted to wrapping his arms around his torso and tackling him into a hug from his spot on the bench. 
"Looks like it," Vivien noted with a bemused chuckle. "What's all this then? You writing out your own comic book or something?" she continued, gesturing to the vast collection of paper spread out before the quartet. 
"We're designing our characters for this cool new game Gus brought in," Bentley raved, holding up his sheet of paper for Vivien to see. "Look at my guy, he's got a wand that's disguised as a paintbrush and this magic flute that lets him talk to animals." 
"Damn, Benny, that's so cool," she grinned, marvelling at the artwork with almost as much care as the blond put into creating it. 
"And look, here's the one I'm doing for Gus," Bentley continued, shuffling the papers around until he selected the right one. 
"You didn't want to draw out your own?" Vivien asked the boy, whose sandy blond eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. 
"Nah; Ben's better at art," August admitted, only glancing up from his work to shoot his oblivious friend a shy smile. "And I enjoy the planning part of it more anyway," he went on to explain. "So he's doing the drawing, and I'm filling out his character sheet for him." 
"Yeah, 'cause there was no way I was gonna be able to deal with all that," Bentley snorted.
"This looks like a lot of work for just one game," Vivien noted, inching another piece of paper towards her and finding it covered from top to bottom in meticulously written words, numbers, and the occasional, scribbled doodle. 
"Tell me about it," Kona scoffed. "I feel like we got extra math homework with this stupid number system we've got to work off of," she added with a huff that blew a straw strand of hair away from her eyes. Begrudgingly tapping the open, yellowing pages of an intricately illustrated book with the end of a pencil, she brought the thirteen-year-old's gaze to the table she was drawing from. 
"You guys are willingly doing math over lunch and you're calling us nerds?" Royce asked with a teasing incredulity that earned him further, playful bickering from Zack. 
"So what do you do with all this when you've created your characters then?" Vivien continued, feeling a fond smile tugging at her lips as Royce's unbridled laughter tickled her ears. Fighting the urge to swat the imagined sensation away, she focused her attention on the other children at the table. "What's this dorky wizard math game called?" 
"Dungeons and Dragons," Bentley explained.
Vivien’s ears perked up. “Dungeons and Dragons? That weird roleplaying game Riven plays with his sweaty high school friends?” 
“Who’s Riven?” Kona asked.
“My skating partner,” Vivien said, throwing the explanation away like a used napkin so that she could get back to the main point at hand. 
“Ew, so is he like your boyfriend then?” Kona teased with a devilish wiggle of her eyebrows. 
“No!” Vivien blurted, maybe a little too quickly if everyone turning to look at her was anything to go by. "No, not like… It's just- He's like my brother, ok?" she hurriedly tried to explain, trying to ignore the bile now creeping at the back of her throat the very thought alone had placed there. 
"Ok," Kona snorted, smirking to herself as she caught Royce's shoulders slump in relief in her periphery. Making the ninth-graders squirm was a favourite pastime of hers, and lately, all this girlfriend-boyfriend talk around them, despite making her want to hurl, had been a homerun every time. 
"I didn’t know Riven played DnD,” Bentley piped up, earning himself a grateful smile from Vivien for taking some of the heat off her. 
“Neither did I until he made us switch our practice days so that he could go play pretend with a bunch of dorks out the back of Eddie 'the freak' Munson's trailer."
"Riven's in that weird Hellraiser club?" Royce asked, bushy eyebrow raised in disbelief. 
"My sister says they're all devil worshippers," Zack mumbled.
"It's Hellfire," Vivien corrected. "And they're not devil worshippers - well, Riven's not anyway. As far as I know they're just losers in matching shirts who play make believe like they're still in first grade."
"It's more than just playing make believe," August dared to pipe up with a somewhat defensive frown, immediately toying with the corner of Bentley's character sheet the second the group's attention landed on him. A sideways glance in the blond's direction earned him a reassuring smile that breathed some much needed confidence into his lungs, and as he released it, he said, "There's this whole world you can build your own stories around with all these super detailed characters and a bunch of lore you can discover. I spent my whole weekend reading through the books my cousin gave me and that doesn't even cover half of it. It's like one big choose-your-own adventure story, but everyone gets a say in what happens, and gets to feel like they're a part of it."
A beaming grin and steel blue eyes, sparkling with excitement, found Royce with startling ease. "Doesn't that sound cool?!" Bentley enthused.
"...It actually does," Royce admitted, even surprising himself with his answer. 
"Hear that, Auggie? You didn't even have to mention dragons to convince someone that time," Kona snickered, firing the curly haired boy beside her a smirk. 
"Whatever," Zack scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You thought they sounded cool too," he added with an accusatory nudge of the blonde's elbow that had her cursing him under her breath for making her pencil skim across the page. 
Ignoring his friends' sibling-like arguing, so used to it by now that it honestly would have been stranger to acknowledge it, Bentley kept his attention, and his toothy grin, focused on his older brother. "I knew you'd like it! You're always borrowing those old fantasy books from the library and writing your own versions of them."
"Well- yeah, ok, but what does that have to do with this?" Royce stuttered, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment despite Vivien's small, amused smile. 
"Well this is just like that! Gus wrote out our first campaign all by himself," Bentley gushed before leaning into the shying blond beside him. "That's like the story, right?" he checked in a hushed tone. And after receiving a confirmatory nod, he turned back to Royce with renewed enthusiasm. "The plot, the monsters, the bonus quests - he came up with it all!" 
Bentley pushed a stack of papers towards his brother, bound by treasury tags and bearing enough ink to have drained an entire pack of ballpoint pens. "Holy shit," Royce breathed as he picked it up and began flipping through the makeshift book, becoming more and more stunned with every turn of a page. "You wrote this whole thing by yourself?" he asked August, who timidly nodded. "In one weekend?" Again, the boy nodded, this time a little more eagerly. And Royce could see why. "...Wow," he marvelled, smiling as he watched the younger boy swell with pride. "This is really impressive, August."
"You put some serious work into this, huh?" Vivien noted.
"Yeah, I guess," August admitted as his steadily reddening cheeks were pulled aside by an appreciative grin. "It's not like I minded though," he went on to hurriedly explain. "It all came together pretty quickly once I got into it. Plus it gave me an excuse to shut myself up in my room away from my stuffy aunt and that stupid dog she carries around in her purse," he added, earning himself a bright laugh from Bentley that completely stalled his train of thought. Luckily, it was nothing that clearing his throat and refocusing his gaze on the blond's character sheet couldn't fix though. "I guess I just thought it would be something fun for us all to do together, you know?"
"Yeah, it sure sounds like it," Vivien said with a warm smile. But there was still a little, nagging thought hammering away at the back of her head, and she feared that if she didn't use this opportunity of an out as her last-ditch attempt at getting Royce alone before the end of the school day then that nagging thought would break right through her skull and puncture her brain with its pesky little pickaxe. And she needed all the brainpower she could muster to get through this, so she did not want to take any risks. "Anyway," she continued, snagging the attention of the table of eleven-year-olds as she clapped her hands together. "We'd better let you guys get back to planning. We wouldn't want to be the reason for you guys delaying your first adventure now, would we?" she asked rhetorically, firing a knowing look across at Royce that was not-so-subtly hidden behind a theatrical grin.
If Royce picked up on the intensity behind Vivien's gaze though, he didn't show it, instead remaining as blissfully oblivious as he always seemed to be when it came to her intentions as he took his turn to offer a fond smile to the table of his brother's friends. "You'll have to let us know how it goes," he said, before adding with a chuckle: "I'm invested now; it sounds awesome."
Breathing out a sigh of relief between her teeth as Royce rounded the picnic table to join her, Vivien kept her almost clown-like smile plastered to her face as she thanked whatever great powers were at work for making Royce ever so slightly more perceptive than the other, gormless teenage boys in their class. But just as she was inching her way back down the hill, and readying her opening line for the brunet once they were out of earshot of the eager little gremlins, one of them piped up with a perfectly pointed pin to burst her bubble. 
"Why don't you just play with us then?" 
Bentley's wide-eyed, hopeful grin was the only thing keeping Vivien from snatching up Kona's muddy jump rope and strangling him with it. Besides the years upon years of sibling-like friendship, obviously.
Forcing out a strained laugh, she managed a tight, "It's alright, Benny, we don't want to crash your fun." 
"You're not crashing anything; we want you to join in. Right, guys?" 
Ok, so Bentley can't read social cues… Good to know. 
It would have made things a hell of a lot easier if Vivien could have known about that before she set the wheels of her master plan into motion though, because right now she felt like they were so out of sync they were about to derail the handcar she'd strapped this grand idea of hers to. But even if she could have brought herself to get mad at Bentley, Zack jumped to the blond's defence before she even had the chance. 
"Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get because Kona can't add up for shit and I'm not about to let my guy Omar Scale Crusher die after I've spent all this time working out his stats."
"I can't add up for shit?! What the hell are you talking about? You're the one who got put in Math 2!"
"Only for a week! And I totally got a better grade than you on that test last week."
"No you didn't!"
"Did too!"
"Bite me!" 
As the pair energetically bickered about Zack's accusations, which Kona steadfastly claimed were built on entirely false foundations, Vivien found her frustration with the picnic table occupants crumbling away. After all, they weren't to know that she'd been practising for this lunchtime conversation with Royce for weeks. How could they? The only others she'd confided in were her three skating friends and the balding Big Bird stuffed animal from the end of her bed that had taken on the role of Royce during her many rehearsals. And she couldn't blame them for their excitement over the game either; even she had to admit that it sounded pretty cool. Plus, after hearing Riven rhapsodise about Hellfire's epic campaigns for weeks now, she was starting to get a little curious about the game and how it was played. 
"Omar Scale Crusher, huh?" she eventually chuckled, raising a quizzical eyebrow at Zack that soon ground his and Kona's squabbling to a halt. "How'd you come up with that?" 
"Isn't it sick? Auggie had this big list of names with cool meanings to help us decide."
After shuffling through the endless sheets of paper around him, August found the right one and went on to explain for a very enthusiastic Zack: "Omar means 'one who has a long life'."
"Yeah, so he'd better live up to his damn name! I'm not planning this whole thing out to have him die in the first round," he declared with a hearty laugh, before tagging on: "Plus my uncle's called Omar and he's awesome."
Vivien couldn't help her snort of laughter at the blunt innocence. "Very creative," she noted. "What is he then? Like a viking or something?"
"No, he's a wizard," Zack stated matter-of-factly. "'Cause why would I bother using a sword when I could just kill an enemy with magic?" 
"How come your guy's holding a sword then?" 
Royce's frank delivery, from over the younger boy's shoulder, had a laugh spurting from between Vivien's lips before she could stop it. And Bentley, August, and Kona were all quick to follow suit. 
However, as to be expected, the brash brunet soon scrambled a retaliation. "Well I'd still want one for backup."
"No duh," Kona chuckled as she finished shading in the metallic sheath of the dagger her character clutched in a leather clad fist. "Magic or not, you still need a weapon."
"Is your character a wizard too then?" Vivien asked Kona, but the incredulous snort the blonde let out could have told her all she needed to know on its own.
"No, Andromeda doesn't need to rely on magic to keep herself out of danger; her dexterity's off the charts." 
Before another argument could break out between Zack and Kona as a result of her roundabout dig at him, August decided to speak for the table. "Zack’s our mage, Kona's our thief, Ben's our Bard and my guy's a ranger."
"But you're the dungeon master too, right?" Bentley checked, mischievous blue eyes peeking out from beneath furrowed bows. 
August's own eyes were drawn to Bentley's the second that he'd opened his mouth, but the smirk tugging at his friend's lips was what captured his attention. "What's so funny?" he challenged through a chuckle that coaxed one out of Bentley too. "You don't think I could be a dungeon master?"
"I never said that," Bentley laughed. But the look the boys shared meant they both knew that's what his tone had implied.
"You didn't have to."
"Well can you blame me? It just sounds so menacing and scary. I know you read all those horror books and stuff, but come on, you're about as intimidating as Winnie the Pooh - who, last time I checked, was still tucked under your comforter next to your pillow and your old baby blanket."
Jaw dropped in incredulity, August lightly elbowed Bentley in the ribs. "I can so be intimidating," he retorted. But if he was pretending to be mad at the boy, his true feelings were soon revealed by the smile he couldn't seem to keep off his face.
"Yeah, well, we've yet to see it," Kona bluntly noted, which once again set Royce and Vivien off giggling at the sixth graders. 
"You sound like you've got a pretty well-rounded group then," Royce carried on, drawing the conversation back to August's point from earlier. "Are there even any roles left for us? Or are we going to have to start doubling up?"
"You can double up if you want, but there's still a bunch of classes that haven't been picked yet," August explained, flipping through the large book spread out before him until he got to the right page. "We've not got a druid, a cleric, or a fighter."
"What does a fighter do?" Royce asked.
"Fighters are weapons-oriented warriors, who fight using skill, strategy, and tactics," August recited from his handbook, bringing the group's attention to the detailed illustration of an armoured swordsman, wielding what looked to be an incredibly heavy shield with almost no effort at all.
The second Vivien's eyes met the page she knew it was game over; her imagination kicked into overdrive and tossed all other thoughts about how she could have been spending this lunchtime to the curb. Racing at a million miles an hour, her brain plucked ideas from seemingly thin air and began piecing together a muscular young woman, strong enough to knock an ox clean off its feet in one quick shove, although you'd never know it since her frame was cleverly disguised in roughened leather padding, tarnished silver armour, and rich, violet robes fashioned into a sort of cape. Her face was weathered, but kind, and her vibrant, emerald eyes sparkled with determination, and the promise of adventure. Like the picture in August's book, the woman carried a large, battle-scarred sword by its ornate handle, and kept a hefty shield vigilantly by her side, painted in, again, deep shades of indigo, violet, and the blood of her enemies, naturally. She also had a quiver of arrows slung over her shoulder though, nestled beside a crossbow, just peeking out from behind a head of flowing, chestnut locks. The heroine had no time for preening, so her hair was tousled with grease and grime from combatting the elements on her journeys, but as it fluttered in the wind, it was kept away from her face by intricate braids, weighed down by silver rings and stolen jewels of amethyst and topaz. She smiled at Vivien from the forefront of her mind, as if marking her territory there, and Vivien felt her heart skip a beat as she breathed out a quiet, and hopefully nonchalant: "Hmm…cool."
"That sounds like a good one for you, Viv. Strategy and tactics? You're great with planning stuff out," Royce noted. But one glance in her direction and his face broke into a knowing smile the second he clocked her eyes, glazed over in thought, and lips, parted in awe. 
"Yeah, and look, you'd make a great cleric," Bentley continued, pulling Royce's gaze away from Vivien, albeit reluctantly. Flipping the page of August's handbook, he excitedly tapped at a drawing of a tall man, draped in heavy, fur pelts and bronzed chainmail. A glowing staff was held in one hand, and a massive axe was thrown over his shoulder as though it weighed no more than a sack of flour. 
"Clerics are versatile figures, both capable in combat and skilled in the use of divine magic," August recited from the page after a light, nudge from Bentley. "They're also powerful healers."
"See? That's perfect for you! You're always helping patch us up if we fall off our bikes," Bentley enthused, undeterred by the amused chuckles that his brother unleashed as a result of what he thought was an adorably innocent explanation. 
"Yeah, and we could use a healer on our team, especially with those two and their lack of impulse control," August snorted as he gestured to Kona and Zack, who jumped at the chance to express their indignation. 
As the group of friends returned to jovially bickering amongst themselves, Royce and Vivien's minds were quietly whirring with ideas. Ideas which, upon glancing at one another, they soon realised were all too perfectly aligned. 
"What do you say then, losers?" Kona finally asked once she'd finished fighting her ground against the boys, snapping the eighth-graders out of their heads and bringing them back to reality with a knowing smirk. "Are you playing with us or not?"
Royce, as always, left the decision to Vivien. But the hopeful glimmer in his caramel eyes, paired with her own, itching curiosity made that decision all too easy. And besides, even if she wasn't spending time alone with Royce, she was still spending time with him. And that was good enough for her.
…For now. 
"Well… I guess one game couldn't hurt, right?" she said with a smirk that soon broke out into a grin as Bentley's face lit up like a firework display. And it only grew when she glanced across at Royce for one last confirmation that she'd made the right decision, only to find him beaming with almost as much enthusiasm as his brother. 
If this nerdy little game brought Royce this much joy, and was even half as much fun as it sounded, then Vivien knew it would be worth another few hours of crippling anxiety. Besides, she hoped that she could immerse herself in the story so much that she'd forget all about her predicament with the brunet anyway. But as they took their places at the picnic table, and Royce's sneaker brushing against her shin shot a jolt of adrenaline up her leg with such a force that she almost jumped straight back out of her seat, she knew that that was just wishful thinking. Covering up the brief waver in her cool, confident exterior with a quiet cough, she tried to refocus her mind on the endless streams of information August was unleashing on the pair of them.
"-and so the group our characters all belong to is called The Circle of the Emerald Torches, but part of the first campaign is about how we get our name, so I'll explain more about that later. Before you start, and before I give you your character sheets though, if you want to be in our party then you'll need to recite the Oath of Noble Heroes so that we know you're serious about this."
"Don't worry, we had to do it too. But it's so cool, you'll love it! And then there's a declaration of loyalty for you to sign somewhere too," Bentley tagged on before the boys started animatedly babbling amongst themselves about the ins and outs of their party's rules again. 
Shaking his head at the pair, Royce took the opportunity of them being distracted to lean over to Vivien and teasingly chuckle, "What the hell have you just gotten us into?"
Fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the boy, knowing that his enthusiasm for the game was a major driving factor in her decision to play, and that he was also well-aware of that fact, she looked him square in the face and hid her smirk behind a deadly serious, blank expression, "I'm pretty sure we just joined a cult." 
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American History, Volume 2, lay open on page 38. And it had laid there like that for the past 45 minutes, having been abandoned by its current owner almost as soon as it had been removed from their backpack. Because instead of completing the assigned history homework, the desk's occupant was using their study hall period much more wisely: by shredding a solo, courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne, on possibly the most prestigious instrument of all: the air guitar.
Ethan's eyes slid shut, and a blissful smile curled his lips as he mashed the volume button on his Walkman with practised ease. Bar after bar of 'Crazy Train' pounded through his skull at a staggering volume, rattling what little of his brain was left in the mostly vacant space between his ears, helped along by the bopping of his head in time with the song's beat. When his fingers weren't plucking out riffs on imaginary strings, they were banging out the drumline on a drum kit that was just as real as his Gibson SG. And all the while, he was passionately miming the lyrics for his audience of the pencil shavings and dust mites that hugged the wall beside his desk. 
He felt the music in his bones. The bass line pumped through his veins. Every note that was played resonated through the chambers of his heart until it felt like the song was as much a part of him as his left arm. And the deeper he let himself sink into the music, the less aware of his surroundings he became - or the less he cared to remember them anyway. Until a sharp elbow to the ribs shattered his rockstar illusions, that is. 
Bleary brown eyes met earnest, steel blue, and held nothing but confusion for the several seconds it took him to realise that Miles’ mouth was moving without making a sound. 
“What?” Ethan bellowed, prying a wailing headphone speaker away from his ears as he leaned closer to the exasperated brunet. 
“Jesus, man!” Miles exclaimed under his breath as he reached across to his friend’s Walkman to frantically turn the volume down. “Are you trying to blow your eardrums out or something?” 
“That would be pretty metal, so maybe,” Ethan chuckled, entirely unphased. But Miles’ disapproving frown soon had him rolling out an explanation. “You’ve got a front row seat for my biggest show yet and you’re choosing to lecture me about volume control? I can care about my hearing when I’m in the retirement home.”
“You’ll be lucky if you make it to a retirement home," Miles snorted. "You've got the survival skills of a two dollar house plant."
Instead of arguing back, or even rolling his eyes at his best friend's dig, Ethan just continued chuckling along in agreement as he slid his headphones down to rest around his neck - still blaring out Ozzy Osbourne's vocals, although they were only just audible over the hubbub of chatter and laughter that filled the rest of the classroom. "What were you saying before anyway?" he went on to ask. "Did you want something?"
"Yeah, the answer to number four."
"Pfft, you think I've even made it past one?" Ethan guffawed, astonished and highly amused that Miles thought highly enough of him to assume he hadn't been shirking his responsibilities all afternoon. "I've got no fucking clue. What chapter are we on again? Abraham Lincoln?"
The mix of despair and disbelief Ethan was faced with when he glanced back across at Miles told him his guess might not have been as accurate as he'd pitched it to be. "...Are we not on Abraham Lincoln?"
"We haven't done Abraham Lincoln since freshman year," Miles deadpanned before letting out a chuckle of his own. "When was the last time you actually paid attention in one of Mr Bishop's classes?"
"Probably freshman year," Ethan noted with a laugh, slumping back in his seat and starting to rock on the back two legs of the flimsy, plastic chair. "I think the only chance I've got at retaining any of the information in that textbook for this month's pop quiz is if I eat it."
The look of reproach Miles shot the carefree stoner could have fooled any passerby into thinking that he was the boy's father, but he blamed that on the past however many years of having to act as a sole parental figure for two young boys - who, on several occasions, had actually proved to be far more mature than the lank-haired brunet before him. More often than not, Ethan felt like a third child he had to keep alive. And somehow, his lack of height was not one of the driving factors behind that reasoning.
"Oh come on, don't give me that look," Ethan groaned, ever the resentful teenager in their relationship. "You've not exactly been Mr Studious yourself today."
"What are you talking about?" 
"Well you've been stuck on that same question for the last twenty minutes 'cause you keep making goo-goo eyes at you know who," Ethan smirked as Miles' eyes widened in horror and his forehead started to prickle with sweat. 
"No I don't," he indignantly tried.
"I thought you said you were over her," Ethan teased.
"I am! It's not like that anyway," Miles muttered, then added. "And it's not been twenty minutes."
"It totally has."
"How the hell would you know? You've been listening to Motorhead since we sat down."
"Yeah but my fuckin' eyes still work," Ethan snorted, hitting Miles with a loving grin that had him rolling his eyes before Ethan had even finished his sentence. And yet, the boy's frustration did nothing to deter him from probing further. "What's the stalking for this time then? You know, if you're not trying to get in her pants anymore." 
Miles was at as much of a loss as Ethan. His eyes found the head of bouncing, blonde curls with almost no effort at all (likely a result of an entire study hall period of practice), searching for some sort of answer. But all he found was a dull, fluttering in his chest. 
Even the giddy, lovestruck butterfly that had been trapped in there for months seemed to have admitted defeat. 
Still, his gaze never wavered. He watched airy laughter spill from her glossy lips, and her nose crinkle beneath brilliantly blue eyes, framed by thick, black lashes and copious amounts of mascara. Whilst before, Miles could have eaten through a movie theatre's entire popcorn supply and still want to look just a little longer, in that moment he just felt empty. And that’s when he realised it wasn't actually Carrie herself that was occupying his mind, it was everyone else around her, and how she was treating them. Plucking a proudly presented flyer for a house party from one, impishly teasing another, waving at Sharon Frye on her way out the door, firing a flirty wink in jest at Steve Harrington after giggling at one of his jokes…
Miles was certain she'd looked at every other person in that room at least once since their study hall period had begun, and yet the closest her eyes had ventured over to him was when she glanced at the clock on the wall. Every thought in his head was plagued by her smile, or her voice, or her laugh… Had he ever even crossed her mind? 
"Do you think she actually cares about us?"
Miles hadn't been able to bring himself to tear his forlorn gaze from the blonde in question, but that didn't stop Ethan from snorting out an answer. "Well yeah, I'd hope so; we spend enough time with her." 
"Not by choice," Miles huffed. 
“Well she talks to us now, and that’s more than we could have said before we worked with her, so that’s got to count for something,” Ethan chuckled. “But if this is about what I think it’s about, then she absolutely cares about you, dude. Like way more than the rest of us.”
“You really think so?” 
“Dude, it’s like you two are glued at the hip. I can’t get you away from each other for shit once we close every night,” Ethan replied. And when Miles still looked unsure, he added, “Why else do you think I always get stuck cleaning the kitchen with Mick? She hates my guts!”
“No she does not,” Miles softly chuckled.
“Well I definitely don’t think she likes me, not like Carrie likes you anyway,” he retorted with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows. “I’m telling you, man. There’s something there. There’s no way she’d laugh at your crappy jokes like she does if she didn’t at least have a little interest in you - I don’t care if Mick thinks it’s bullshit, I know I’m right.”
Miles just rolled his eyes, but a hopeful smile desperately pulled at his lips, no matter how many times he tried to dismiss it. “I don’t know, I think she probably just does it to be nice,” he mused, watching as Carrie animatedly responded to Rachel Price before turning back to resume her conversation with the girl sat beside her - the very girl that Miles still had an irrepressible urge to swap lives with: Juliet Harmon. Now faced with nothing but the back of her head, he quickly lost interest in the view. “…She seems to act like that with most people.”
“She definitely does not, man. Why do you think the entire marching band is scared to look her in the eye? She’s like one of the biggest bitches in school,” Ethan scoffed. But he paused when he realised Miles wasn’t laughing along with him. “Why does it matter how she acts around other people anyway?” 
“It doesn’t,” Miles huffed. “…Not really.” 
But the second he dared to make eye contact with his oldest friend, the floodgates opened and the truth came tumbling out. 
“I just…feel stupid for letting her get in my head, and for actually thinking that we had something special - that I was somehow different to all the other idiots who throw themselves at her to get a second of her attention. But here I am, thinking about her constantly, hanging onto every interaction we have like my fucking life depends on it, only for her to… Ugh, I don't know. I just…don't want it all to not mean anything to her, when it means so much to me - no matter how much I try to convince myself it doesn't. I mean, yeah, she's nice to me at work - really nice - but she barely even acknowledges me outside of All Skate… It's like I don't even exist, like she doesn't even realise I'm there. And it makes me feel like shit."
"She barely acknowledges anyone," Ethan absentmindedly mused. "I wouldn't take it personally."
"That's a lot easier said than done," Miles huffed dejectedly. There was something freeing about Ethan's nonchalance over Miles' feelings though; it made them feel less suffocating. And whilst he still felt entirely hopeless about the situation, he did feel a little bit of the pressure ease off as he rested his chin on his hand and let his mind start to wander. "...You think she actually considers us friends?"
"Sure; she calls us her work friends all the time."
"No but like her actual friends," Miles clarified. 
"Dude, I don't fucking know; the female mind is a mystery to me at the best of times, but hers is on a whole other level," Ethan scoffed in incredulity. "Do you not remember that like thirty minute debate I had with her about diet sodas? Actual insanity.”
Miles' quiet chuckling as he reminisced about what had started as an innocent question, yet progressed to a full-blown screaming match, with each participant equally as confused and frustrated as the other, was soon silenced by Ethan's next prompt though. "I know a way you can find out though…"
"...No!" 
"Oh come on, man. Don't be a sissy. It'll be so easy. And then you can stop getting hung up on all these bogus hypotheticals."
Miles' initial horror slowly dissipated as Ethan's reasoning started to lure out a far greater force from its hiding place in the corner of his brain: his curiosity. "...You really think I can just go up and talk to her? In class?" he asked, as his eyes once again found that jumble of golden curls. 
"Sure, why not? It's only study hall." 
Again, Ethan's nonchalance, which was only heightened by the fact that he was trying to balance a pen on his curled upper lip as he responded, did far more for Miles' confidence than any pep talk of his own could have. And besides, maybe he was onto something - maybe it really was that simple; it always was in his world. 
"It wouldn't be weird?" Miles double-checked. 
"Why would it be weird? All you're gonna do is talk to her. And we already established you two are friends, so what could go wrong?" 
Miles shuddered at the very thought. "So much."
Ethan glanced across at him, ready to fire out further encouragement like a sixth grader with a penchant for making spitballs, but when he clocked his friend's nervous fidgeting, he reconsidered his situation and gained a little clarity. "Ok…yeah, fine, stuff could go wrong. But are you gonna die?" he proposed.
"No," Miles begrudgingly mumbled.
"Are you gonna break something?"
"No, but-"
"Then how bad can it be?" Ethan cut in with a lopsided, optimistic grin before Miles could tie himself up in any more self-conscious knots. "Just get over there and scratch that itch that's been bugging you for weeks; it's not gonna stop until you do. And you'll feel so much better after."
It took Miles by surprise every time it happened, but yet again, it seemed as though Ethan might actually be…right. This question of Carrie's loyalty had been eating away at him for weeks now. And, as he'd stressed earlier, it was making him feel shittier and shittier with every day he let it drag on. Asking her outright was a definite way to get his answer… It was just going to require him growing some balls, as anything to do with All Skate's resident disc jockey apparently made his own shrink to the size of peas.
"...Just walk over and talk to her?" Miles checked. Although, between us, he was just stalling to give himself more time to muster some courage.
"Yeah, as a friend," Ethan confirmed. 
"You really think I can pull that off?" Miles asked with a dubious, but hopeful quirk of his eyebrow that had Ethan melting like a bomb pop that had been left out in the 4th of July sun.
"Absolutely," he grinned, totally enamoured by his friend's giddy trepidation, and the promise of a relationship he so steadfastly defended. "She's got a major soft spot for you, man. I see it like every night," he went on to reassure. "There's no way she's gonna blow you off. You'll be fine."
And as a result of that dopey grin, complemented by the ratty, chestnut locks, and vacant, dark chocolate eyes… Miles believed him. 
"...Ok, I'm going in," he breathed through a determined smile. 
"Atta boy," Ethan chuckled, fist-bumping Miles before tipping his chair back onto all four of its legs again, as though to signal the resolution of their predicament. "Go scratch that itch," he added, finishing their little handshake with a bolstering point before lifting his headphones back over his ears and disappearing back into his wildest rock star fantasies - totally oblivious to the disaster about to unfold right behind him as Miles took a deep breath and waded into the wild, uncharted waters of the female mindset. 
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"So now that we know that y=7, we plug that into this side of the function, that we've already simplified, to give us this…which then means that we can carry this over here, giving us x=3." 
…Silence.
"Right?" Juliet checked, although the satisfied smile that had settled on her carnation pink lips as soon as she finished the sum was beginning to falter into one of desperation as she turned to her tutee. "Did you follow along ok that time?"
But all Juliet was met with was a glassy stare and an infatuated grin, smushed between two fists as its owner rested their chin on their palms. "You're so smart, Julie," Carrie breathed. 
Juliet just rolled her eyes, although she did little to hide the bashful blush tickling her cheeks. “Never mind that, did you understand how I worked it out that time?” 
"...Kind of?" Carrie tried, offering a lopsided, hopeful grin to try to lessen the blow.
If Juliet's exasperated huff was anything to go by though: it didn't work. But her frustration dissolved the second that she met Carrie's gaze. "Where did I lose you?" she asked with a gentle, patient sigh. 
"The whole reversing the function bit," Carrie admitted as she bit her lip and braced herself for Juliet's reaction. Although the blonde's expression never wavered, the dismay that flashed in her eyes soon had Carrie barrelling through an explanation. "I swear I was getting it before that this time, but then it all started to sound like you were talking in another language, and then I got distracted by that pretty way you write out the 'x' again, and then I just…"
"...Stopped listening all together?" Juliet teasingly offered with a fond smirk.
Carrie scoffed in mock-defence. "No, I listened the whole time, I just stopped taking it in," she went on to clarify. But as soon as she drew a giggle from Juliet's lips she melted into that same infatuated grin from earlier as she admitted, "I'd never stop listening to you. You know I could listen to you talk for hours."
"Even about algebra?" Juliet teasingly tested with an affectionate smile of her own. 
"Of course about algebra," Carrie gushed with a glittering honesty that soon had Juliet giggling again. "Believe it or not, this is the most I've ever understood a math module," she carried on, straightening up in her seat to help give her point a little more credibility, before tagging on a jovial, "And it's all thanks to you, smarty pants."
"Would you stop calling me that? It's so lame," Juliet protested, hiding her smile behind a frank eye roll. "And besides, I'm not that smart." 
"You so are; you're like the smartest person I know," Carrie gushed, never one to let her friends downplay their successes, much to Juliet's disgruntlement. The blonde's frown didn't deter Carrie from continuing to lovingly babble straight through her stream of consciousness though. "That brain of yours has to be huge - no wonder you get headaches all the time, it's because it doesn't have enough space in there."
Carrie's knack for making herself giggle never failed to make Juliet smile, but yet again she found herself trying to cover it up with a bashful roll of her hazel irises as she let out a sigh and attempted to get their conversation back on track. "You wanna try another question then?" 
"Don't try to change the subject," Carrie fired back with a mischievous grin. 
"I'm not, you are!" Juliet retorted, biting back an incredulous laugh. "We're supposed to be doing algebra, not Juliet 101."
Carrie's mischievous grin only broadened. "Now that's a class I might actually get an A in."
Rolling her eyes for the third time at her best friend's antics, Juliet teasingly tried, "What? Not an A+?"
"Maybe," Carrie smirked. "But then again, I might get distracted by my teacher." Her wiggling eyebrows soon had Juliet reprimanding her and attempting to draw her focus back to her school work, but Carrie's mind was already wandering off too far down a different path altogether. "...Do you think you'd ever wanna be a doctor, Julie?" 
The comment, that fell slap-bang in the middle of Juliet's offer to rewrite the steps of the previous algebra equation, baffled her into silence - so taken aback by the suggestion that she almost thought she'd misheard the golden-haired girl. "What? No," she spluttered, looking at Carrie as though she'd just sprouted a third nose. "Where did that come from?"
Juliet's confusion didn't seem to faze Carrie though, because her dreamy smile stuck it out through her whole, rambling explanation. "I don't know, I just figured you should use your big brain for a job one day. You know, like one that actually actually makes you think instead of just like a working a cash register, or stacking books or something. And you need to be super smart to be a doctor, so…"
Juliet was quick to shoot down Carrie's optimistic grin. "I do not have what it takes to be a doctor, trust me."
"Sure you do," Carrie defended. "I'd let you be my doctor."
"Oh well then hand me my diploma," Juliet sarcastically replied, once more fondly rolling her eyes and chuckling at her best friend's enamoured stare and incessant bolstering. 
"I'm serious," Carrie pressed on though, determined to get through to Juliet despite her doubtful smirk. "I'd trust you with my life, you know I would. I'd let you save my life any day of the week," she grinned. But, after giggling to herself and absentmindedly twirling her pencil between her fingers, when she finally latched onto Juliet's hazel gaze again, only to find it significantly less jovial, it was her turn to express her confusion. "What? You don't believe me?" she teasingly challenged, with a quirk of an eyebrow. 
But Juliet still didn't seem to be in the mood to joke back, as her lips fell in line with the horizon and her gaze darted to Carrie's right before finding her again. 
Ok, now Carrie was really confused. 
"Huh?" she murmured, clearly not as in tune with her best friend's thoughts as she assumed she was. 
However, this time, Juliet flicked her eyes to Carrie's right with a touch more resolve, and paired it with a slight, but very purposeful nod of her head in the same direction. And finally, Carrie seemed to get the message. 
Following Juliet's line of sight, Carrie turned to look over her shoulder, only to find herself face to face with a person that almost caught her off guard as much as Juliet's sudden shift in dynamic had. "Oh," was the first word to jump from her lips, startling her back into what Juliet lovingly dubbed as 'show-mode' as she rolled her shoulders back and fixed a brilliant smile to her face. "Hey, Miles."
The second that Carrie acknowledged Miles, any confidence he'd managed to trick himself into conjuring fled. And whilst he had a Herculean urge to do the same, he too plastered what he hoped was a convincing smile to his face as he finished his approach to the blondes' shared desk. "Hey, Carrie," he said, breathing a sigh of relief for even managing to get the words out. And yet, he still pushed a little further to add, with a nod of acknowledgement too, "Juliet." 
The entertained smirk that started pulling at the corner of Juliet's lips in response caught him off guard, and he felt his stomach gently clench in defence. But he chose to ignore it, returning his gaze to Carrie's bright smile - its familiarity putting him back at ease and igniting that usual fire in his chest that sent warmth spreading throughout his- 
Wait, why was she turning back around? 
"Right, where were we?" Carrie said, dazzling Juliet with a grin as she readied her pencil on the page. "I've got a good feeling about this next one; I think if you just take it slow-."
"Ahem," Juliet interrupted. Her gaze caught Carrie's once again and held onto it for a beat before she tilted her head forwards, signalling with her eyes that there was still something - or rather, someone - behind her. The confusion, almost disbelief, swimming in Carrie's eyes made Juliet have to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing, and locking onto Miles' look of bewildered dismay just made it even harder. But luckily, Carrie was quickly able to decipher her visual message once again, with little prompting this time.
Turning around to find that, to her surprise, Miles hadn't just been greeting her as he passed by her desk, he was, in fact, standing there - well, expectantly shuffling from foot to foot anyway - Carrie remounted her smile. Although now, Miles realised, it wasn't so welcoming. It felt almost…uncomfortable.  
"Oh, sorry. Did you want something?" she offered. 
He did - desperately so. And yet, he felt as though the sudden shift in tone had already started to write out his answer. 
The hairs on the back of his neck started to twitch as the walls of his stomach steadily closed in tighter. But, determined to stand by his heart, and prove to himself (and Mick) that his feelings weren't all built on fantasies he'd created in his head, he brushed the unease away and stood his ground. "No, not really. I just thought I'd…stop by…see how it's going."
Carrie's smile faltered again, giving way to further confusion. "...See how what's going?"
"...Study hall?" Miles said. But the response came out as more of a question than an answer, which he supposed was down to the fact that he wasn't even sure of it himself. And despite his hopeful grin, which he feared was now looking more like a grimace, he couldn't seem to stop trying to rub the growing discomfort from the back of his neck. 
God, he hoped that he didn't have any sweat stains. 
"Oh, uh, it's going fine," Carrie politely replied. Although her awkward fidgeting with her pencil's eraser told a different story. "We're just going through the algebra homework."
It was weird; it wasn't as though the conversation was making her seem 'off', it was like…the very fact he was talking to her was so distracting she couldn't settle. She was the centre of Miles' universe. And apparently he was just an asteroid in hers: a misshapen hunk of space rock, hurtling past in the blink of an eye, and completely blindsiding her with his very insignificant existence. 
A fellow asteroid must have collided with him at some point, because he could feel this weird twinge in his chest, by his heart, almost as though the impact had chipped a corner off. He swallowed thickly, pushing the creeping discomfort away. "The one for Mr Moreno's class?" 
"Mhm," Carrie confirmed with a nod. 
"Oh, nice…" Miles trailed off with an awkward chuckle and what he feared was now looking like a rather desperate smile. And he was sure his expression only got worse when his gaze was pulled off-course by Juliet, who gave him a look that made him want to give up altogether. How her hazel irises had managed to harness the ability to hiss 'you are totally blowing this' in his ear, he had no idea. And yet, the urge to prove her (and everyone else) wrong gave him the motivation to plough on. "Well, if you still need any help with it later, I don't mind going through some of the answers with you at wo-"
"It's alright," Carrie bluntly cut in, slicing out a chunk of Miles' self-esteem as she did so. "Julie's got it covered," she added, turning to dazzle the blonde with a brilliant grin. 
By the time that grin made its way around to Miles though, it felt cold. And it seemed suppressed, like she hadn't really wanted him to see it. What he feared was the beginnings of a smirk were tugging at the corners of her lips too. And whilst he wanted to believe that it wasn't at his expense - some cruel inside joke the pair of blondes had whispered with their oh-so talkative eyes in the second that Carrie's back was turned - something in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise. 
"Thanks though," Carrie lazily tacked on, with a brightness in her tone that just felt hollow to Miles now. 
"No problem," he breathed. But there was a problem, and he was staring right at her.
Miles tried to find it in him to mean the smile he sent her, but he just couldn't. Somehow, what was supposed to have been a simple conversation between 'friends' had left him feeling more insecure than ever. Why was she so difficult to talk to? And was she making it so difficult? If they'd been at All Skate, cleaning the rink after their shift, he'd have had no trouble talking to her - their conversations flowed like the Mississippi River when it was just the two of them. And yet here, he felt like he was trying to coax water out of a rusty garden tap in the peak of a summer drought. 
He couldn't find the words to piece together what he wanted to ask - he didn't think such a sentence existed, not one that he could construct anyway. Carrie seemed hellbent on getting rid of him, which did nothing for his creeping fear that she was only nice to him at work because she had no other option for company. And the damn heat radiating from Juliet's pitying smirk had so much sweat running down his back he contemplated running to the nearest bathroom to wring out his underwear. 
And somehow, those glittering, sky blue eyes of hers still threw him a line - a glimmer of hope to cling to. After all, she'd surprised him before - countless times - maybe she'd be able to do it again.
Just as Miles was moving to open his mouth to try one last time though, he was beaten to it. 
"Was there anything else you wanted? Or was that it?" 
Any hopes of a redemption for the blonde were snatched from Miles' grasp, and the reality of it felt like a punch to the gut. Thoroughly deflated, he accepted his fate with a heavy sigh. It may not have been the outcome he wanted, but at least he had an answer now, and there was a silver lining to that, he supposed. 
"...No," he breathed through a forlorn, but relieved smile. "That was…that was all."
Miles felt he must have imagined the concern that flickered in Carrie's gaze - wishful thinking, he supposed - because the airy giggle and laidback grin she flashed him certainly didn't marry up with it. "Oh, alright then. See you later!" she chirped with a wave as he started the walk of shame back to his desk. Again, just as he was turning back to offer a farewell of his own though, she managed to get her words in first. "Don't forget your thick socks."
Miles stopped in his tracks. Now he was more confused than ever. The cheeky glint in her eyes, the knowing smile, the reference to a throwaway joke from their closing shift last night… Everything he'd just come to terms with about her vehement disinterest in him had been called into question with those five, simple words, and a wink that just about made his heart stop.
…Maybe she did really care after all. 
With his heart leaping up from its dejected slumber, Miles shot her a grateful smile and chuckled an earnest, "I won't." Breathing out a contented sigh, mind already racing with ways to talk to her about this more that evening, Miles finally felt his shoulders relax as he raised the hand that had been rubbing the back of his neck his whole time. "See you la-"
Nevermind, she'd already turned around to talk to Juliet again. 
Again the brunet was flummoxed. The only thing he felt truly confident about as he slunk back to his desk was the very thing he'd been warned of before wading into that mess: the female mind was a mystery. And he had never felt further from figuring it out.
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Turning back to Juliet, Carrie couldn't help but shake her head and chuckle under her breath. "That was weird," she noted, tilting her head in the direction of her retreating co-worker.
But Juliet's eyes had never left the bumbling brunet. "Mmm… He's kind of cute," she mused. Although her prompting smirk was lost on her tutee, since her sapphire gaze was immediately pulled to the back of Miles' head.  
"Yeah." Carrie's breathed response fell from her lips with startling ease, so much so that it even surprised herself. Hoping to catch it before it slipped into Juliet's ears though, she shook the starry-eyed gaze from her head and scrambled together a cover-up. "Uh, yeah? I can try to set the two of you up if you want. You know, put in a good word at work and stuff." 
If she expected Juliet to accept her optimistic offer with open arms though, she was soon proved wrong.
"Yeah something tells me he's not interested in me," she snorted.
Carrie looked at her, perplexed. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't he be? You're like a total babe."
"Oh come on, Carrie. Please tell me you know that he's got a major crush on you," Juliet said with an almost disapproving frown. "Like major major."
Carrie scoffed at the accusation. "It's not major," she tried, rolling her eyes in a further attempt to downplay the gravity of what Juliet was implying. 
"Carrie," Juliet pressed as she knitted her brows. "The guy could barely speak."
Caving under the blonde's hardened gaze, Carrie let out a resentful huff. "Ok fine, so he's got a little crush," she finally conceded. "What's so bad about that? It's not like anything's gonna happen; he knows I've got a boyfriend."
"Mhm… And what does Eric have to say about Miles?"
Carrie rolled her eyes so hard Juliet thought for a second that they might never come back down again. "Why does it matter?" she groaned, her skin prickling with irritation. 
"Well he's not exactly got the best track record when it comes to being understanding about you hanging out with other guys," Juliet sighed, with a sneaking suspicion that her tutee's frustration had been triggered by the mention of her boyfriend's name alone: a welcome sign that their relationship was as healthy as ever. Not.
Carrie scoffed as a bitter scowl settled into place. "It's not like I'm 'hanging out with him', we just work together. I barely talk to him during my shift anyway, only when we're clearing stuff up at the end."
"Oh yeah?" Juliet started, curiosity piqued. "And what happens then?"
"Nothing!" Carrie insisted. "We just talk - you know me, I can't keep my mouth shut even when I want to, so of course I'm gonna talk to the guy." Letting out a sigh to try to blow off some steam, she softened under Juliet's gaze and allowed the blonde to lead her through her haze of thoughts. And if Juliet's gentle nudge in the right direction wasn't already enough to do the trick, one glance at Miles' retreating form completely burst the dam. "We've been talking for like the whole last hour of every shift since I started - about school, movies, whatever really - it's like the only thing in that dump that's worth sticking around for. I kind of just did it because I was bored out of my mind at the start, but turns out he's actually really fun, and sweet too - you wouldn't believe some of the stuff he does for his little brothers, Julie; I've literally gone and cried in the break room before after he was telling me about it. It's that cute." 
"You cry at everything," Juliet countered with a fond, teasing chuckle. 
"Oh come on, not everything," Carrie retorted. Naively hoping that their conversation on the matter had ended there, she let her eyes settle on Juliet's again, only for them to inch open the floodgates once more with a simple bat of her lashes and a tilt of her head. "We just talk and…goof around," she tentatively began - defensive, despite her nonchalance. "You know, make each other laugh about weird things customers have said, or stupid things we did. It's not like we're fooling around or anything. And before you say it, because I know that face: no, I am not leading him on. It's all totally platonic, I swear."
"Ok…" Juliet softly trailed off, taking a moment to choose her words before raising her next point. "Does Miles know it's all 'totally platonic'?"
Carrie let out a groan of despair, as she always did when her best friend lovingly lectured her. "I don't know, Jules. I'm not a mindreader. He's not grabbed my ass or spiked my water bottle, if that's what you're getting at," she grumbled, before promising, "I've got it all under control, I swear."
Somehow, Juliet didn't seem to be buying it; as impervious to Carrie's confident charm as ever. 
"So Eric's totally chill about this whole thing with Miles?" she tested, arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow.  
"He knows I work with him…" Carrie mumbled.
Juliet nodded understandingly - almost too understandingly - in Carrie's periphery. 
"...And does he know how he makes you feel?"
Daring to challenge Juliet's calculated point with ignorant defiance, Carrie whirled around to meet the blonde's smug expression with a gasp of indignation, and an argument that fell away the second she realised that she didn't have a single word in her head to back it up with. Admitting defeat, she sighed and let her body slump, along with her hopes of her vindication in her best friend's hazel eyes. "Ok, yeah, fine. I know Miles has a crush on me," she confessed. Although the guilt laced into her words steadily morphed into hurt the more she tried to defend herself. "And yeah, I do lean into it sometimes because it makes me feel good about myself. Is that really so bad? Is it such a bad thing to want someone to be extra nice to you for once? Or to give you some positive attention?" 
"No, of course not," Juliet assured, assuming a fierce determination of her own. "I just think your boyfriend should be able to do all those things and more, and clearly he's not."
Carrie sighed, exhausted by the very thought of him. "This isn't about Eric."
Juliet sighed back, exasperated by her best friend's submissiveness, especially when she was usually so domineering. "How can you still want to defend him, Carrie?"
"Because, I love him, Julie," Carrie replied, finally finding the contented smile the thought of him should have immediately slapped on her face. "And because he's a good guy."
"Really? Because he's been nothing but a dick to you lately," Juliet flatly countered, hoping that with a little pushing her friend would see sense. 
"We've just had a couple of arguments, it's not a big deal," Carrie casually defended. "And they're all resolved now, so I don't know what you still have to complain about."
"Just because you had make-up sex does not mean that the problems were resolved," Juliet rolled her eyes before fixing the golden-haired girl with a more earnest look. "Did he actually apologise this time?"
"We talked it out first-"
"Did he apologise?"
Carrie squirmed under Juliet's gaze before muttering a reluctant, "No."
"Ugh," Juliet groaned, rolling her eyes again as she wound up to unleash a rant she'd been working up to for weeks. But, to her dismay, Carrie's defences beat her to it.
"Neither of us did, really. We just agreed to forget it and move on."
"How is that resolving anything?" Juliet asked with an annoyed frown that Carrie was starting to take personally. 
"Well I hadn't thought about it until now, so it must have at least kind of worked," she attempted to justify. 
But Juliet's nettled scoff told her that her stance on the matter wasn't budging. "You and Eric might as well speak two different languages; I've seen a pig and a fly communicate better than you two." 
The comment drew a giggle from Carrie's lips before she could stop it. "Don't try to distract me with your cute, Southern lingo," she said as the amused smile settled on her face and she affectionately bumped her friend's arm - the act bringing both their tempers back down to Earth. Before Juliet could launch into another lecture though, Carrie hoped to diffuse the situation once and for all. "Anyway, we worked it all out and everything's back to normal," she said. Although Juliet's questioning glance made her correct herself, "Better than normal. In fact, we're going to go look for Halloween costumes together this weekend," she finished with an optimistic grin. 
Now that was an improvement. For the first time since they'd sat down, Juliet found herself pleasantly surprised. "The Barbie and Ken costume's back on? I'm impressed. You two really must be getting along." Knowing how excited Carrie had been about the idea, she couldn't help but smile at the prospect of it finally coming into fruition. 
"Oh no, the Ken idea's long gone. I think he's going as a firefighter or something now."
Juliet's optimism shattered in a split second, and yet she stayed frozen in place, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "...You're kidding, right?"
"No, but I don't really mind. I'll just find something else to go as," Carrie sighed through a small, indifferent smile. If she'd spotted the disgust hidden in Juliet's eyes after her last revelation, she chose to ignore it. "It'll be fun getting to plan out my own costume anyway; I've got so many more options now. And plus, the Barbie one was only gonna be a pain in the ass to-"
"You're not even doing a couples one?" Juliet asked, far too concerned with what she was learning to care about hearing out Carrie's excuses. 
"He thinks couples costumes are lame," she explained with a huff. "Or at least that's what Adam told him anyway. He said he wanted to just do his own thing."
"But Carrie, you've been excited about doing a joint costume with him for like a whole year."
"So?" Carrie asked, with an eyebrow quirk of her own, shoving the accusation aside as though she was kicking an ice cube under the refrigerator. "It's just a dumb Halloween party, it doesn't matter what we wear; everyone will probably be too drunk to even pay attention anyway."
"Yeah, but it matters that he doesn't care about stuff that's important to you. He never has, and it's selfish, Carrie - super selfish…" Juliet trailed off with a frustrated sigh, praying that she might finally get the ditzy DJ to see sense. "You need to stop defending his shitty behaviour."
"And do what?" Carrie mumbled, unknowingly giving Juliet just what she wanted: a chance to unleash her anger with the infantile blond bozo and the mockery of a relationship he had roped her best friend into.
"Hold him accountable," she urged, hazel eyes blazing with passion. "Relationships should not have to revolve around making excuses and placating your partner with blow jobs - it's a fucking joke. I don't care about all the 'good times' you guys have, or all the memories you've made; the way you've been treating each other lately is appalling, and you deserve way better," she said, pausing to let Carrie absorb everything she'd just thrown at her before delivering the finishing blow. "And I know you know that too, because you're already looking for it in someone else."
Carrie's blood stilled in her veins. Sometimes it scared her how deeply Juliet understood her, and other times it felt comforting. This was not one of those times. 
She took in a slow, shuddering breath as Juliet's words seeped into her skin, carrying a deep sense of guilt with them. As much as she wanted to denounce Juliet's observations and stand by her own, joyously declaring her undying love for her boyfriend at the top of her lungs…her mouth made no attempt to move from its crestfallen frown. It couldn't, because she knew she was wrong. 
The despondency in the blonde's vacant, blue eyes soon drew Juliet down from her soap box though. This time she approached with a gentle, almost apologetic, smile as she entwined their fingers and began rubbing circles into the back of her tanned hand with the pad of her thumb. "I just want what's best for you, Car," she quietly promised. 
"I know," Carrie murmured, mustering a grateful smile as she squeezed her hand back, as though to say a 'thank you' her mouth wasn't quite ready to commit to yet. "I'm fine, Julie, I swear," she went on to profess. But when she started to get a sneaking suspicion that the statement wasn't all that convincing, she decided to switch up her tactic. "Now can we please get back to algebra?" 
The genuine laughter that tumbled from Juliet's lips was music to Carrie's ears. "There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear you say," Juliet chuckled as she picked up her pencil again. 
"I'll do anything to get us talking about something else," Carrie admitted with a woeful chuckle of her own. "And besides, I think I've got a better chance of wrapping my head around this than anything to do with my love life at the moment."
"Boyfriends suck, huh?" Juliet snorted with a knowing smirk.
"Try all boys suck," Carrie countered with a smirk of her own, at last feeling as though some of her signature confidence was leaching back into her frame. Although the pair's giggles took a few seconds to die back down, a mischievous glint remained in Carrie's eyes before she let them glaze over in thought. Mind idly wandering down untrodden paths, a wistful sigh escaped alongside a rogue proposal. "Wouldn't it make life so much easier if we could take them out of the equation altogether?"
Carrie was too lost in thought to notice, but the words that left her mouth forced an entire systems reboot in Juliet's brain. She had to do a double take, certain that she must have misheard her, or had at least missed the joking undertone. But no, the glassy, pensive blue irises held nothing but sincerity. And that confused Juliet more than ever. Her mind whirred with possible explanations for the brainless musings that definitely didn't sound as though they came from a girl in a committed, heterosexual relationship, but before she dared to question her on any, a tanned hand, the size of a frying pan, pulled her prospective interview subject right out of her seat. 
Carrie's eyes widened as she was whisked into a pair of cotton-clad arms the size of tree trunks, hardly able to catch her breath before it was being exchanged for someone else's. A faintly stubbled smile pressed into hers several times before she fully regained her bearings and was able to catch the frying pan hand from travelling too far south of her waist. "Eric," she giggled once she finally managed to inch their lips far enough apart to mumble a greeting against his skin. A subsequent flurry of kisses kept her from elaborating any further though. It was a wonder they didn't pass out from lack of air. 
"Hi, beautiful," he eventually greeted with a smitten grin. But their lips didn't stay apart for long as the dopey quarterback seemed hellbent on keeping his coated in his girlfriend's saliva. "You have a good study hall?" he mumbled, nuzzling his nose against hers. His roaming fingers shattered any hope of his interest in her life being genuine though.
Even if Carrie had wanted to answer Eric's question, his tongue was shoved so far down her throat she couldn't get her words out. "Eric," she finally gasped, jerking her head back from his with a breathy laugh as she felt his thumb start to lift the hem of her cheerleading skirt. "You're gonna get us both detention." 
"I can't help it," he chuckled, pulling her back towards him for another seemingly endless stream of kisses. "I missed you." And whilst a stupefied grin played at his constantly interlocking lips, something didn't feel quite right with Carrie. Her kisses were lazy, almost reluctant, and whilst her body normally felt like putty between his palms, today it felt…stiff. She seemed distracted. And because Eric's head was only ever swimming with thoughts of her, this worried him. "Hey," he gently prompted, nudging her chin with his knuckle to bring her gaze up to meet his. "Everything ok?"
Carrie's breath stuck in her throat, too scared of getting caught in the crossfire of two sets of brown eyes to dare to leave. Eric's sat beneath a pair of thick, furrowed brows, marred with insecure concern, and she could feel Juliet's boring holes into the back of her skull, begging her to remember everything they’d just spoken about. Tensions were high in her usually spacious brain - thoughts flying back and forth too quickly for her to make sense of as she tried to let her conscience guide her in the right direction. And although she felt herself inching towards a blonde ponytail-bolstered confession, her conscience's valiant efforts were all for naught. Carrie's fingers found purchase in the bristly blond hairs at the nape of Eric's neck, her cheeks were dusted in the scent of spearmint and the sweaty must from his football helmet. The profound warmth of his embrace seeped into her bones, and she curled up into it like a cat in the glow of fireplace embers - helpless to resist. "Everything's great," she promised, drawn in by the comfort of familiarity. "I just missed you too."
Disappointed, but not surprised by her best friend's decision, Juliet sighed as she tore her gaze away from the stomach-churning couple and began gathering together her and Carrie's things. She'd get through to her eventually, she had faith in the pit of her steadily grumbling gut. She just needed to be patient…or to find something that could drive a wedge between them once and for all.
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"Ethan!" 
The pint-size pothead almost jumped out of his skin at the barked greeting, which actually felt more like an accusation than a 'hello'. He didn't know what was more offensive, the girl's tone or the fact that she'd interrupted his concert-for-one. 
"Jesus, Mick! You scared the shit outta me!" he cried. 
Rolling her eyes, Mick let go of the headphone speaker she'd had to pry away from Ethan's ear after he'd blatantly ignored her fifth call of his name, letting it thwack the side of his head. The look on his face as he recoiled in bewilderment did have a faint smile tugging at her lips though. But it soon disappeared when he slumped back in his seat and readied himself to tune her out again. 
Moving to stand in front of his desk, Mick didn't give him a chance. "Where's Miles?" 
"What?" Ethan squeaked.
"Where's Miles?" she reiterated, crossing her arms across her chest and nodding at the empty seat beside him.
"He's talking to Carrie," he revealed with a blasé wave of his hand in the vague direction of the pair.
Even with AC/DC blasting through his headphones, Ethan swore he heard Mick's face crack.
"He's doing what now?" she demanded, flames roaring in the mahogany logs that made up her irises. 
"He's just asking her something, it's no big deal," Ethan said - although his attempts to reassure the brunette were ham-handed at best given his lazy grin and total lack of concern. 
This was further backed up by Mick's growing urge to strangle him. "Can I not trust you to do anything?" she hissed. 
"What did I do?" Ethan squawked in indignation.
"Nothing - that's the problem! All you had to do was keep his mind off her-" 
"I don't know what fucking mind-control powers you think I've got, Mick, but that was a bogus plan in the first place."
"Oh so what? You just weren't gonna go along with it at all?" Mick scoffed. "I just said to try to keep him distracted."
"And I tried, so I don't know what you're getting all pissy at me for," Ethan retorted. "What's so wrong with him talking to her anyway? I thought 'working through your feelings' was supposed to be a good thing."
Scowling at him for using her own advice against her, she snapped, "Talking to her is not helping him distance himself from her." But when her eyes scanned the room for that familiar mop of coffee brown hair, the sight it settled on made her heart drop to her collegiate green Campuses. "And neither is a run-in with Eric Brennan."
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Trailing back to his seat, muttering to himself about the mystifying female mindset and what the hell all of that could have meant, Miles soon realised he wasn't looking where he was going when he collided with what felt like a wall of meat. 
"Shit, sorry," he muttered.
When he looked up and saw who it was that had almost knocked him off his feet though, he realised his assumption hadn't been too far off.
"Woah, watch it, man," Eric guffawed.
The amused twinkle in his eye, and the smirk that blossomed as soon as his gaze landed on him, made Miles' stomach twist. Something told him that this interaction wasn't going to be nearly as quick as he'd hoped. 
"Miles, right?" Eric went on to ask, eyebrow cocked in recognition. 
"Uh, yeah," Miles stammered, although he was more confused than concerned at this point. 
"Why you in such a hurry, bud? You got somewhere to be?" he continued, a charming smirk still sitting proudly on his chiselled jaw. 
"I'm just going back to my seat."
"Oh yeah?" Eric probed, steadily turning up the pressure. "And why were you out of it?"
Miles immediately regretted the exasperated huff that fell from his lips, but he couldn't help his frustration. "Why does it matter?" 
To Miles' surprise, the jock didn't snap back at his remark - there was no sign of meat-headed defensiveness at all. Instead, the guy just laughed. "It doesn't," he reassured with a jovial smile. "I just thought I'd ask 'cause, you know, from here it kind of looked like you were going over there to talk to my girlfriend." 
Any relief that jovial smile had filled Miles with steadily leaked out as Eric's words sunk in. "I was just asking her about our work schedule," he explained with a careful, albeit tight smile of his own. 
"Yeah?" Eric tested.
"...Yeah," Miles confirmed. Although he could feel his bravery slowly shrinking under the hulking weight of Eric's arched eyebrow, he stood his ground, hoping that a nonchalant tone and a set of squared shoulders was enough to convince the dopey blond.
"Oh well, that's a relief," he said with another booming guffaw. Miles' wishes were seemingly granted as the warning smirk slipped from Eric's face, replaced with a laidback grin. "There I was thinking you might have been trying to make a move on her or something."
Miles managed to eke out a chuckle, more at his own expense than anything. "I wouldn't do that, man," he promised through a freshly starched smile. "I know you're both very happy together."
Eric's shit-eating grin must have been powered by at least three AAs with the way it lit up his face. "That we are, my man," he proudly proclaimed. "And that's good to hear 'cause I know you spend a lot of time with her at the end of your shifts, and she says you two get along super well, so I'd hate to think that you were getting the wrong idea or-"
"Not at all," Miles assured, cutting the blond off before he could drive the knife any further into his chest. Fixing a plastic smile to his face to cover up the wistful sigh that escaped between his teeth, he delivered an admittedly painful, "We're just friends."
Eric's rich brown eyes seemed to scan every inch of Miles for any sign of a lie before he proceeded, and the brunet's lack of acting skills left him squirming like a worm on a hook as a result. But the satisfied grin that soon surfaced, dropping the tensed shoulders to help it rise, told Miles the quarterback probably needed an eye test. 
"Good," Eric said with a contented sigh. "'Cause you and I both know that it'd be stupid to think anything else, right?" he went on to cockily taunt. "Like, no offence, but she'd have to be fucking insane to choose you over me… Right, Miles?" 
Although his ego was severely bruised, to save his face from meeting the same fate, Miles forced himself to maintain a smile, albeit reluctantly. "Right," he confirmed.
"That's what I thought," Eric smirked, finally satisfied that Miles had taken enough of an emotional pounding if his lazy grin and affectionate arm bump was anything to go by. "Alright, nice talk, bro. I might catch you tonight if I drop by to see her, ok?"
"I'll be there," Miles verified with a strained sigh. Finally daring to drop his gaze from the sturdy blond, he made his escape without so much as a goodbye.  
Apparently Eric thought he could take a little advice on the road with him though. 
"Remember, watch yourself, Murphy," he hollered.
But the words didn't even register with Miles, because the swift shove between his shoulder blades was so jarring his entire focus was dragged to keeping himself upright. 
Miles kept his eyes trained on the scuffed linoleum as he hastily lumbered back over to his desk, cheeks burning with self-hatred as he tried to push Eric’s no doubt smirking face out of his mind. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice that he finally dared to lift his head again. 
“Are you ok?” Mick asked, expression overrun with an almost frantic concern. “What was that about?”
“I’m fine,” Miles brushed off, retrieving his threadbare backpack from its spot, slumped on the floor in one swoop. Haphazardly shoving the books from his desk into the main compartment, he mumbled a quick, “Can we just go?” 
But Ethan’s glassy-eyed intrigue held him firmly in place. “Yo, what happened, man? Did he bust you for flirting with her?” 
“No,” Miles sighed, wearily shaking his head at the stoner’s excitement. 
“Did you flirt with her?” he pressed. 
"No, I just- ugh," Miles huffed, quickly giving up on trying to explain the situation he didn't even fully understand himself. "It doesn't matter. Let's just go."
"I told you to just forget about her," Mick sighed. 
"Yeah, well, that's a lot easier said than done, Mick," Miles retorted, returning her disapproving frown with a defensive one of his own. 
"Did you at least get some closure?" Ethan offered as he rose from his desk - partly from curiosity, partly to try to prove a point to Mick. 
Whilst Miles' tongue instinctively prepared to shoot Ethan's optimism down, his brain jumped in to tell it to hold fire. And after a few, brief seconds recalling the interaction, his answer soon changed. "Actually, I kind of did," he admitted with a chuckle of incredulity. 
"You gonna try to talk about it more with her tonight then?" Ethan asked, smirking to himself at Mick's look of disbelief. 
"Fuck no," Miles snorted with a nonchalance that took both of his friends by surprise. "I just want to forget it ever happened- just…move on."
"From her?" Mick asked, trying to hide the hopeful edge in her tone with a gentle smile.
Sparing the blonde in question one last glance over his shoulder, only to catch the tail end of her and Eric getting pulled up for their excessive PDA by their (up until now) entirely uninterested study hall supervisor, he let out a wistful sigh. A chorus of voices swelled in his head - Mick's, Ethan's, Carrie's, Eric's - each one telling a different side to the same story. He couldn't have picked one to listen to if he'd tried. So, in the end, his own took over, steering his heart down a path that promised the least damage in the long term, and that Carrie's indifferent dismissal of him had already forged in his mind. "...That's the goal."
19 notes · View notes
joonsytip · 4 months
Text
Withering for You || Seungcheol- Part 4
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Pairings: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! Seungcheol au, Husband! Seungcheol au, Wife! Reader au, Music Teacher! Reader au, Arranged Marriage au, College Sweetheart au, Exes to Lovers au
Synopsis: When you are arranged married to the man, whose heart you had broken years ago, even dreaming about mending things seems next to impossible when he has been holding grudge for all these only to return it to you tenfold.
Warnings (specific to this part): drama, crying, profanities, everyone is hurt and sad, everything is on rocks, mentions of infidelity (doesn't happen to though), mention of alcohol consumption, betrayal, italics represents occurrences in past
Word Count: 6.3k
TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED!
Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue
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They say betrayal is worse than death if you taste it from someone you trust, someone you love. It's stingy, it's sickening, it's scathing.
You have always believed in soulmates, entitled Seungcheol to that word since you've known him, even wanted to make promises of eternity with him. But you should have seen the signs, should have never crossed the lines. Must not have tried to slip into the loopholes.
But you got blinded by greed, a hopeful stance of getting back together. Was it so wrong to wish a happily ever after with the one you have loved selflessly? Apparently it was.
"Sit.", you tell Seungcheol and the later obeys.
And as he does so his eyes fall on a very familiar document kept on the table. Instantly, he goes numb.
You observe him for a moment and play the recordings Jiah had given you. Midway, a panic stricken Seungcheol runs to you and pauses the recording.
He grabs your arms and says in desperation, "I didn't do all this Y/N. I admit I had planned all this because I wanted revenge but please trust me, it wasn't me."
"Unhand me.", you command him coldly, "Your touch disgusts me."
Seungcheol looks at you alarmingly before freeing your arms. He thinks of ways to convince you because in actuality, like he said he had planned it all but something out of scope happened. He fell in love with you again so long gone were all of those thoughts and schemes.
"What goes around, surely comes around.", you let out a chuckle, "Maybe that's why, I'm going through this. I get that you wanted to trample me upon. It's fair, to think about what you've been through because of me, I could have understood.", you look at him, "You could have handed me the divorce papers on our anniversary. Could have had other women and it would have wounded me. But-"
The tears pooling at the corner of your eyes are streaming down, "But how could you stoop so low? Knowing how much this academy matters to me, knowing what music means to me, you went out to attack my soul."
"No Y/N, I was a fool, please please", Seungcheol is crying as well, choking on his words, "It was wrong of me but I would never--"
"They are calling me a thief. Because of this incident those out there are questioning my whole career. The career, I've pursued after fighting the odds, after struggling for years. The one thing that is entirely mine.", your eyes turn darker as you say, "You could have rather killed me, Seungcheol."
Seungcheol gasps and shakes his head frantically.
"Even if I clear my name today, there will be people who'll still doubt my ability. Some out there would assume that I might be guilty and just because I belong to an influential family, I must have pushed everything under the rug with money.", you are hurting yourself with every word you utter at this point, clutching your chest, "My image is tainted, my career is ruined. They will never look at me the same way."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N", he gets on his knees and clasps his hands, pleading, "I would do anything to clear your name. I'd do anything to win back your trust just give me one chance--"
You take his hands off you saying, "I have always loved you, Seungcheol. Back then, even now, I have chosen you. But none of that matters now. You have stabbed me in the back but I'll be one to pay the price. I thought you'd be different but these genes run in your family. I can't even blame Jiah. You Choi's are no different from her--", you halt.
"What do you mean?", Seungcheol asks confused.
"As I said none of that matters now. You are so petty that you acted out the whole thing. You don't love me and from today onwards I won't either.", you answer him, taking out the wedding ring from your dress pocket, "Here, I'm giving you what you wanted.", you take his hand and place the ring on his palm, "Congratulations! This marriage didn't get through it's first year. But I have a present for you. I have filed for divorce, the papers will be sent to you as soon as they're ready."
Seungcheol is at loss of words. He's unable to comprehend the situation. He wants to stop you but on what ground? The irreversible damage is already done.
"I have all of my belongings sent over.", you inform him, "And if you're planning to create a fuss about the divorce and what's gonna happen after the conference, head on. I won't be giving up like last time. I'll see through the end of it."
"It's happening again", he tells himself and sounds so broken when he speaks through his wavering voice, "Please don't leave me again."
"I had no choice, I was forced to leave you back then", you mutter under your breath, making it impossible for him to hear, "I was willing to stay this time but I have to leave, this time for my sake."
While you gather the rest of your belongings, Seungcheol stands there helpless. And as you walk out of the house, he watches you take away the life of his adobe with you.
Seungcheol numbly tunes in to watch the press conference. He sees you on the screen, out of his reach, out of his life. He listens to each word you say. How sad you look as you address the matter. Even though your legal team briefs the journalists, his eyes are glued to you. He observes how you don't explicitly mention him or the Choi enterprise but throw sublte hints to catch on.
But you make it obvious at the end of the conference by announcing your divorce to Seungcheol.
"I have filed for divorce against Choi Seungcheol and I would like to refrain you all from associating me with the Choi's in future."
Seungcheol is immediately thrown under the bus. People who were coining you as a thief are now praising you and busy portraying him as the villain.
But mopping won't do him any good. His mind reel backs to every word you have said before leaving. He needs to get answers to some questions. Most importantly, he has to get you back.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol handling the legal charges against him which are minor because he digs out enough evidence to prove that he wasn't involved in the slander and Jiah is the main culprit, adding exceptional charges to the list that would nearly ruin her and damage her company's reputation.
The Choi enterprise faces reputation loss as well which results in their stock plummeting and the board of directors complaining about the situation. But being humungous in business, the impact isn't uncontrollable and since Seungcheol is mentally exhausted his father lets him loose taking matters into his hands for the time being.
Everything is manageable or bearable except for the divorce papers which he has received on your first anniversary, that sits coldly on his office table.
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"The house I bought is an hour drive from here and I'm planning to stay there for some time, just to take my mind off of things." you say fishing out your car keys, "I have saved my new contact number to your phones."
"But are you sure you don't want us to be there with you?", your mother asks worriedly.
"At least let us help you shift--"
"Dad, I have lived alone before as well. Plus Chan and my friends are gonna help me with the unpacking.", you move over to hug both of your parents, "Visit me after it's done. Plus I'm planning to throw a cozy house warming house, not soon though."
"We're proud of you.", your mother says patting your head.
"I'm sorry for all the troubles and stress you've been through for the past year.", you mumble, quickly wiping your tears, "I'll be fine, no looking back promise."
"We have always trusted you, just take care of yourself and call us.", your father says kissing your forehead.
Chan waits for you by the car and he doesn't let you drive throughout the time it takes to reach your new house. As your friends help you settle into your new home, you are grateful to them for keeping you distracted and not bringing up Seungcheol.
"I'm sorry, Kwan. The academy had to face such an incident because of me.", you say hanging your head low in shame because you don't want anyone to see your tears, the can of beer in your hand remains unsipped, "I have decided to take some time off, please handle the academy and it's okay if you want me to backout. I'll transfer my shares to you."
Seungkwan blames the atmosphere for the tears in his eyes. He wipes them and sits beside you, "I couldn't have done it alone. The reason the academy exists is because we both had given it our all. So take all the time you want but you'll have to return."
You lean onto him and it's your brother who comes to wipe your tears.
"I'm so sorry Chan.", you speak through the tears, "I should have listened to you. I never thought that Seu--", you go quiet because it pains you to even say his name.
Everyone in room goes silent. It's not haunting rather comforting. But the successive ringing of the phones cause a mild commotion.
"Wonwoo keeps on calling us.", Eunsoo mutters, switching off her phone.
"Just tell him that I'm fine.", you tell her, "I'll give him a call later. I haven't visited Wonseok lately so I need to talk to him anyways."
It's amusing, how the night changes.
Seungcheol is distressed. He realises you are not the only one he has lost, he has lost Ms. Oh's empathy, he has also lost precious friend Wonwoo as well.
Wonwoo is back to his stoic self, the version he was when Seungcheol met him first. Only talks business with him, leaves as soon as he's done with assigned work. No more late night drinks, no more taking shots, none of the banter.
He watches you laugh as Wonwoo tells you something animatedly. He watches how your eyes are dull even though your lips are stretched.
Seungcheol had overheard Wonwoo talking to someone on the phone about his brother so he decides to visit him seperately just to check on him. He didn't expect to see you there, making him question since when you knew about Wonseok.
Your face falls when you're suddenly interrupted by Seungcheol's presence. He stands in front of you wordless, you don't bother to strike any conversation with him either.
"I'll get going, let me know if you need anything else.", you tell Wonwoo and turn around walk away.
"Y/N", Seungcheol says, "Can I please talk to you?"
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, "I don't think we have any business with each other. Do me a favour and just sign the divorce papers."
"I can't.", Seungcheol speaks out without missing a beat, "I need you Y/N, please give me a chance, let me make things right. I promise I won't let you down anymore."
"Enough with this act, don't assume you could fool me twice. I'm done with you.", you move around so now you're facing him again.
"You've changed your number.", he says meekly, "I don't get to see you anymore. That house haunts me, it's not the same without you."
You step in, closing the gap within you two, "You're facing the consequences of your actions. Stop acting like a fucking victim.", you spat out before walking out.
Wonwoo is torn. He doesn't want to take sides, it's even more difficult to see both of his dear friends grieving and suffering but there's nothing he could do.
"Wonseok is going through a series of surgeries because his condition had worsened and Y/N has been paying for them.", Wonwoo informs Seungcheol and before he could ask, Wonwoo adds, "You're already paying me more than I should be so I didn't want to burden you more. She had accidentally found out about Wonseok one day and decided to help me out even though I wasn't ready to accept it. She was determined and I couldn't stop her."
Seungcheol isn't surprised rather he is confused. This version of yours is what he was habituated to when you were dating until you convinced him it wasn't on the day you broke up. Something isn't adding up. Something about your nature and the way you act to what you had said that day are contradicting. You aren't mean-hearted, you are a giver so why did you years ago do something so bizarre, the thought is unsettling.
"She has been taking some time off from the academy, no one knows when she'll be back. She is so affected by the incident that she was ready to give up on the academy. The one she had built from scratch with her blood, sweat and tears." Wonwoo speaks disappointedly, "Do you realise what you have done?"
Seungcheol is ashamed, there's an unhealing pain in his heart thinking about you, about how he should be the one aiding you in your tough time but he can't because he's the reason you're in agony.
"As you know, I had also hated Y/N for what she had done. And now that you see me being friends with her is not because she's paying for Wonseok.", Wonwoo halts and takes a breath, choosing his words carefully, "It goes far beyond that. You have always been heedful, I think it's time for you to be vigilant as well. The truth might be far from what you've believed it to be."
Wonwoo doesn't spare another second on his watch as he walks away ignoring the desperate calls of his name.
Seungcheol's mind is not in place anymore.
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Your thoughts are everywhere. Peace and happiness are some of the things you haven't gotten to feel lately. Though you've decided to spend time alone at home, the loneliness is caving you in.
Maybe tonight you're feeling a little more lonely than usual. Maybe you shouldn't miss the person who had pushed you to the edge of the cliff. Maybe you shouldn't be good with dates. Maybe you shouldn't trace your thumb on the calendar reminiscing about the day, you both had made it official years ago.
The damned tears aren't stopping, your heart isn't healing.
The bell rings and you are surprised because no one is supposed to visit you today. Quickly wiping your eyes and cheeks you don't bother to check the monitor and open the door.
At the other side of the threshold stands Seungcheol. Your red eyes gape at him as he looks at you shivering from driving all the way here in the snow.
"What are you doing here?"
You know getting your new address and number wouldn't be a big deal to Seungcheol given his network runs deeper.
"Can you let me in atleast, I'm freezing."
You cross over your arms and step aside. He saunters in and wanders off to have a tour of the house. He stops when he senses the glare you're sending him.
"If you realise that this house too plain for your taste you can always contact me. We're best in the business.", Seungcheol says as his lips purse in a line.
"I wonder from where did you get the audacity to come here?", you ask plainly.
"Just wanted to see you", he admits, "I miss you, Y/N."
You scoff at his words.
"Also, there's something you left behind, I found it while going through the drawers.", Seungcheol fishes out a notebook from his inner coat pocket.
You immediately recognise the object, raising your hand flat for him to handover it to you.
"I instantly got reminded of you always carrying it and scribbled down if anything came to your mind. Seems like you had kept this notebook from prior to university days.", he hands over the notebook and touches your hand gently in the process.
His touch turns to strong grip and he doesn't let go.
"Thanks.", you say trying to free your hand, "You should leave now."
The wedding ring on his finger feels cold on your skin.
"I know you remember what day it is today.", he says pulling you closer so that now you're colliding into him, your faces an inch apart. Your eyes are wide and the notebook falls as you're grabbing onto his shoulder out of reflex.
He has an undeniable look of longing in his eyes. You should just push him away, even kick him out but you find yourself frozen.
"I still remember falling in love with you, every moment of it.", he whispers, his gaze switching between your eyes and lips.
"So I do, Cheol.", his nickname slips out of your mouth so casually, there's a pause before you speak, "Why did you have to ruin it all?"
"I regret it all.", he gently holds your face, "But I realised that I never stopped loving you otherwise why would I despise you if I hadn't been in love in the first place."
"You could have broken my heart but you went after my soul."
"You did the same to me years ago. You took my soul away and I became just a shell.", he isn't complaining, just letting you know how difficult it was for him as well, "I planned everything to get back to you but what wasn't planned was my feelings resurfacing, falling in love with you all over again. I had forgotten all the schemes, had forgotten the reason why I hated you in the first place."
When he rests his forehead against yours, you close your eyes basking in the moment. What he did was definitely beyond any excuse but Seungcheol isn't entirely at fault. The fact that he was ready to start again with you after how you had treated him years ago proves the truth behind his words. The difference is you were forced to act out but he wasn't. He chose to destroy you.
So your eyes snap open and you're pushing him away.
"Leave Seungcheol.", you step away, "And never come back again."
Seungcheol sighs, "What should I do for you take me back? If you want I would never show myself in the vicinity of the academy. I wouldn't even ask you anything remotely related to your works or the academy. I'll stay all out of it, I promise."
"Nothing you do would make me go back to you.", your words taste bitter in your mouth, "We are not meant to be, we're not good for each other."
That is basically you firmly rejecting him, letting him aware that he has axed the mended fence.
Seungcheol smiles sadly, "Only if I could show you my heart and mind."
He then leaves with a heavy heart.
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The next few days goes by Seungcheol racking his thoughts to make up his mind. Every time he thinks about you wanting to desperately cut ties with him, he relents. He laments on himself for what he has caused. At nights when he deliberately stays late, he mentally prepares himself to sign those papers because that's the only way to atone for his sins.
But those divorce papers get through every night without getting signed. Because when Seungcheol thinks he's ready that's when the realisation gnaws on him that he's actually not, that he'll never be.
And it gets harder each time he tries.
So one night, he lets his intrusive thoughts get the best of him and he ends up calling you.
"I'm trying but I can't bring myself to sign those papers", he speaks into the phone clutching it hard followed by a shaky breath, "I really want to give you what you want but whenever I think about not having you in my life, my willingness deters."
You stay quiet.
"Sorry to disturb you. Don't know what I was thinking. Please take care of yourself, bye.", he hangs up and collapses back on the chair.
Wonwoo watches through the blinds and he isn't new to this. Years ago Seungcheol had gone into a spiral, had almost given up on living post the breakup and now it hurts Wonwoo to see the history repeating itself.
So this time he promises to intervene for both of your sake, specially Seungcheol.
He has two things on his to-do list and though he isn't sure what the outcome will be, he's going to do them. He gathers everyone and let's them know of his plan.
"Mingyu, Eunsoo, Seungkwan", his gaze sweeps on the three, "You're gonna go and convince Y/N."
"I'll go to uncle and aunt.", Wonwoo says.
Eunsoo looks at him questionably, "We get our part. But are you sure your friend's gonna be okay?"
"Most importantly, I'm not sure how this will end because both of them are unpredictable as fuck.", Mingyu adds.
Seungkwan who was silent the whole time, speaks, "Guys, let's go for it. We will handle the aftermath.", he looks at Wonwoo, "You'll have to take care of Seungcheol because he's gonna hurt the most."
"It's better to be over it, Seungcheol deserves to know."
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"What's wrong with you guys?", You ask absolutely astonished. All of your friends have suddenly busted into your house and are now advocating you on something that is supposed to be out of their box.
"Why are you suddenly siding with Seungcheol?", you say with a frown, "I'm feeling betrayed. I'm gonna call Chan now."
Eunsoo and Mingyu break into cold sweat knowing how scary your brother can be. Seungkwan sighs looking at the other two and gets that he has no other way but to sort down to what he's best at. He says, "Y/N, do you think we'd ever think ill of you? Do you think we'd be at your door because suddenly we felt emphatic towards Seungcheol? That's how lowly you think of us?"
The look on Mingyu and Eunsoo's faces are absolute comedic. They didn't expect Seungkwan would pull out his trump card.
Your gaze is unwavering when you say, "This won't work on me you know right?"
Seungkwan smiles, "Of course I know but we also know that you love Seungcheol and won't be happy without him. So we're saying all this just for your sake, not his, not anyone else's."
"You're wr-"
"You had 7 years but you couldn't get over him, even accepted his family just to marry him.", Seungkwan continues, "You had come across so many good men all these years but no one piqued your interest because you only had Seungcheol in your heart."
"Y/N, I did believe him when he said he fell in love again. I had seen the way he looked at you, the way he was protective around you. The way his eyes were always on you, radiating love. It may have started as an act but at some point it became real.", Eunsoo smiles at you, "He loves you."
"But Soo--"
"If you really loathed him, you wouldn't have waited for him to sign those divorce papers, you would have upsurged everything. You have the power to ruin the Chois wholly but you're just buying yourself some time.", Mingyi adds and immediately shifts to hug you, "What Seungcheol did was incredibly wrong, wait he didn't even do it. It was Jiah."
"Are you not getting Jiah did all just to separate you both again?", Seungkwan ask and you look at him wide eyed.
"She had done the exact thing years back and was successful. Please don't let her win again. If she can't have Seungcheol, she has planned all this for you to not have him as well.", Eunsoo voices out her concerns, "Don't let all these heartbreaks, tears and sacrifices go in vain just because of some misunderstandings. Don't do something you'd regret because you didn't mend it when you had a chance."
Your heart sinks at their words.
"Take your time but choose what you think is the best for you.", Eunsoo rubs your back gently, "Rationality shouldn't always take the stance, sometimes hearts should be listened to."
You take a deep breath and say, "Fine guys, I'll think about it."
The smile on their faces are unmatchable.
Seungcheol is worried when he receives a call from his mother asking him to urgently come to their house. Wonwoo is already waiting by the car and though Seungcheol asks if he knows anything he stays tight lipped throughout the ride.
"I'll be waiting for you right here. Call me if you need me.", Wonwoo says with an intone and for some reason it doesn't resonate well with Seungcheol.
He is led into his father's study where he sees both of his parents waiting. They are heartbroken seeing their only son. Seungcheol has lost weight, accumulated bags under red eyes, appearance unkempt.
"Take a seat.", his father says, "I have something to tell you and it's regarding Y/N."
Seungcheol immediately perks up at your mention. An eerie silence falls upon the room. Seungcheol's anxious gaze searches for his parents'.
"Y/N was forced to break up with you years ago. I had made her do so.", his father admits.
Seungcheol freezes. He thinks he's hearing things that are not supposed to make any sense.
"Ever since I had started the business I had been diligent to it. Dedication and honesty does account for success but so also being money minded and cunning. As years went by that consistency and success made me cling to riches, fame and status that came along with it.", his father says as he takes a seat gesturing him to do the same. "You must be remembering that we were facing financial crisis because one of our major investor had withdrawn. It had affected us greatly."
Seungcheol nods, "We were on the verge of facing bankruptcy."
"Since Jiah's father runs a finance company, we had made small sort of deals previously but that time the amount required was large and no one was willing to help us not even her father. But later Jiah came to me and offered me a deal."
"W-What deal?"
"That she would convince her father to provide us support only if", there's an ominous pause before Mr. Choi looks at him and says, "I remove Y/N out of your life."
A tear falls from his eye, as he hears the tale of betrayal from none other but his father.
"I have never liked Y/N, the reason was basic, she didn't belong to our circle. Initially I thought she was just a fling but so I agreed with Jiah."
Seungcheol is numb at this point, he just sorts to listening.
"One day I had brought in Y/N to let her know that she needs to find her way out of your life.", Mr. Choi's gaze falls, "She instantly refused. No matter what I said she wasn't willing to leave you. One meeting turned to two, two turned to three but she was hellbent on not letting you go."
"With Jiah constantly pressurizing me, threatening to nullify the deal if not taken action soon, I became desperate.", he confesses, "So I resorted to one thing I should have never done. I can never forgive myself for that."
You say in utter disbelief, "Why don't you tell your son to breakup with me instead? Stop pestering me, you know we both love each other and Mr. Choi let me make this clear, this is the last time I'm meeting you."
Mr. Choi gives you a sickening smile. He casually says, "Your brother is currently studying in Australia, if I'm not wrong."
You pale instantly, "W-What about him?"
"You're right, this is gonna be our last meeting. If you don't breakup with my son, I'm not sure what I'll do with your brother. What if you don't get to see your dear little brother anymore?"
"Mr. Choi, you can't do this. Please--"
"I'm not here to negotiate. I think you're smart enough to make the right choice. So tell me Y/N, what did you decide?"
You are crying and begging but there's no mercy reserved to spare for you. How are you supposed to choose between your brother and the love of your life? You will have to so you choose what's best for all, you choose both.
"Fine, I'll breakup with Seungcheol. So stay away from my brother."
Mr. Choi smiles in mirth, "You made the right descision. Rest assured."
With job being done, he is walking out of the hall when your call of his name reaches his ears.
He turns with an incredulous look on his face as he waits for you to speak.
"Promise me that you'll never tell Seungcheol about this incident.", comes your strained voice.
"I wasn't planning to anyways.", Mr. Choi says, "Even better for me, I promise to not tell Seungcheol about any of this."
Seungcheol runs to his father with the intention of doing something unspeakable but he stops right in front of him and collapses on the ground.
"How could you do this?", he sobs uncontrollably, "How could you stoop so low?", he balls his hands into fists and channels the anger on the floor, hitting it again and again that's when his mother steps in to stop him.
He looks at her and say, "How could you not tell me? How could you tolerate your husband even after knowing all this?", he then swats her away.
Getting up, he's gasping for air, unable to comprehend with the pain in his chest and head. Restlessness engulfs him but he doesn't let both of his parents to even touch him.
"I'm ashamed to call you both my parents.", he spats out, "I'll never forgive for ruining our lives. I hope all of this was worth it."
Then he's running out of the house ignoring the calls of his name. Wonwoo is immediately grabbing his friend, making him sit and drink water.
"You also knew but didn't tell me?", Seungcheol asks as fresh tears stream down his face.
"I only came to know recently and Cheol even if I had known, it's not my story to tell.", Wonwoo answers.
It takes Seungcheol over an hour to calm down.
"You don't need to attend me, I'm fine.", Seungcheol says stoicly, "You can go, I have somethings to take care of."
Though Wonwoo refutes but Seungcheol is adamant, leaving no choice for him but to obey his boss.
As soon as Wonwoo gets out of the car, Seungcheol drives off.
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You are extremely tired, mentally and today for some reasons are you feel thinned out physically as well.
Staring at the cello, ominous thoughts fill in your mind. Because no matter how hard you try, you are unable to produce anything. There are no notes or no tunes, it's all blank.
And you're scared, what if music doesn't choose you anymore? What if you can't produce anything for the rest of your life? All these possibilities scares you enough to spend sleepless nights. It has disturbed your appetite as well.
Tossing and turning, as you've been doing for nights with minimal sleep at dawn hours, you sit up startled when the doorbell rings.
All the exhaustion is now replaced with concern when you see Seungcheol who continuously weeps at the door.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
Just a shake of head and he keeps on crying.
It's been about twenty minutes since he arrived crying and you're seriously considering about calling Wonwoo.
The way he's visibly hurting, hurts you too and you resort to hug him, patting his back, "If you're hurting because of me, please don't.", you say softly, tears pricking at your eyes subconsciously.
Seungcheol pulls away, looking at you. His sobs stop and the first thing he does is hold your face and kiss you. You're surprised, his lips graze yours but you don't kiss him back. Your hands push his chest and he's detaching himself mumbling a string of apologies.
"It was all for nothing.", he sounds so heartbroken when he speaks, "All those years spent in pain, hatred and resentment towards you, you didn't deserve any of it."
You have an inkling and it doesn't settle well in your bones, "Whatever you're saying is making no sense. Why are you here?"
Seungcheol looks dead in your eyes, "Because I know now. I know what happened all those years ago."
Your soul leaves your body at his words. You never wanted him to find out because you knew it'd tear him apart.
"W-Who told you?"
"Does it matter?"
And your very first instinct is to grab your phone and make a call to his father but Seungcheol doesn't let you. The phone gets snatched from your hands and thrown away somewhere.
"Why did you do it?", he asks and his questions irks you.
You scoff, "Are you seriously asking me why I did it after knowing everything? Seungcheol, I was threatened with my brother's life, what did you expect me to do?"
Seungcheol shakes his head, "No that Y/N. Why did you make dad promise you about not telling me about this?"
"What could I have done Seungcheol?", your voice cracks, "I loved you so much and trust me, I tried everything I could to be with you, to not hurt you but-- it killed me to lie to you. I went through hell and back trying to stop myself from telling you 'no I'm lying, please don't leave, I love you as much as you do'.
"That day I took your heart away.", You exhale sharply, "I didn't want to crush your soul as well, didn't want to make it anymore difficult for you then it already was. I knew how much you looked upto your father, how much you cherished your parents. I didn't want you to fight your family", your heart twinges as you continue, "Though it wasn't possible for me to love again, I prayed that you would move on, meet someone who'd make you forget all the sorrows I gave you. I wished for you to fall in love again and live happily."
You chuckled through your tears, "Won't lie, it would have hurt me but if it assured your happiness I'd have hurt myself all over again, all of the times."
Seungcheol observes you quietly, he absorbs your words to his heart.
"What does that make me, Y/N?", he asks defeated.
"You weren't at fault, Cheol. I chose what it seemed the best for all of us."
"I hated you, married you and plotted revenge. Hurt you and now indirectly lead to something that almost ruined your career.", he speaks as if he's narrating a monologue, "I kept wounding the wounded and siding with the foes."
"Stop blaming yourself. What you did was indeed wrong, you should have never attempted take a blow at my career. But years ago, even after all that you were ready to start again.", you remind him.
Seungcheol completely shuts himself out.
"Till yesterday, I was in a dilemma. They say if you love someone you should let them go. Call me selfish but I couldn't even think of parting ways with you. I wanted to fight for us. I'd have courted you until you got bored of me. I would have waited for a lifetime, even if you'd have moved on.", he avoids eye contact so that his resolution doesn't deter, "But how could I tie you to the people who tried to harm you, harm your family?"
"I won't beg for forgiveness anymore. Honestly, I don't want you to forgive us. If you're having second thoughts about us, discard them. Please just discard me.", he voices out in desperation, "Be selfish and choose yourself this one time."
He takes out a paper from his coat pocket which you recognise very well.
"Till yesterday signing these papers seemed impossible for me but it's surprising, how events turned out to be.", he takes your hand and places the paper saying, "I have signed them. This time I chose what's best for you."
There's a sickening churn in your stomach that makes you realise that there's nothing you can do.
"I love you, Y/N."
The weight of those words fall heavy on you as Seungcheol closes in.
"For one last time, please.", he says holding your face.
You incline towards him and instantly his lips are on yours. One of his hands now settle on your neck firmly as your lips dance on featherly. His other hand is gripping your waist to hold you in place. The saltiness of his tears burn on your tongue, making you suck in a gasp. His kisses you till his heart's content because it's a kiss of goodbye before resting his forehead on yours.
"Don't go", your strained voice whispers, "Please don't go."
Seungcheol whispers back, "I have to. Please don't stop me, I'm not strong enough to refuse you."
The tears stream down your face, "Would nothing I do be enough to stop you?"
"Y/N, please", he pleads, "You were right when you said we're not meant to be because I have only hurt you. I don't deserve you."
"Cheol..."
He steps back and you're suddenly engulfed by coldness.
"The chapter named Choi Seungcheol in your life ends right now.", he balls his hands, grits his teeth, does everything to not let those tears spill, "Since you might not submit the divorce papers, I have already handed over a copy to your attorney."
He turns back, rubbing his chest, the pain is unbearable.
"Cheol, please..."
"It's snowing so don't follow me outside, you'll catch a cold. Goodbye Y/N."
Then he leaves, from your house, apparently from your life.
And you realised not all stories have a happy ending, there's not always a happily ever after.
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jaysgirlx · 3 months
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❝ 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❞
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❥ pairing: valentines jason todd x f!reader
❥ summary: this is your first valentine's day with jason after well he died and came back, he needs everything to be perfect for you to make for all the lost time.
❥ warnings: bit of angst, mentions of abuse/torture, tons of fluff & smut, unapproving dad Bruce Wayne
❥ wc: 4.3k
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"Jason stop it, c'mon Bruce is going to catch us" you squealed, while your boyfriend pressed kisses all over your neck. "I don't want you to get banned from seeing me again, especially with Valentine's upcoming!"
Jason groaned and lifted his head up from your hickey-stained neck. "Even if Bruce does ban me, there's no way in hell I'm missing our first Valentine's," Jason says, laying his head on your chest. The two of you comfortably lay in your bed, cuddling while your parents were asleep a couple doors down.
You'd grown up with Jason, you'd always known him as a troublesome kid but that didn't stop you from developing a crush on the guy. You never thought of saying anything until you learned he'd gotten adopted after his dad kinda just disappeared.
For weeks you'd missed him, you missed how dumb antics, you missed the way he was always following you around and you missed his dumb smile. God, you loved that cheesy grin he always gave you..
Until one day he appeared on your doorstep, telling you that Bruce, his new dad was finally allowing him to visit his old friends. You thought he'd forgotten you but it was far from it and you knew then and there you definitely had a thing for Jason Todd.
It still took a while for either of you to confess your feelings. You thought you would crack first but Jason did instead when he learned that some guy from your school had a crush on you. He didn't mean for it to come out but he was just so jealous, "Why go out with him when you have me huh? I'd make a much better boyfriend. Just go out with me"
He wasn't wrong because he did, a week later you were on the best date of your life. Jason took you to this amazing amusement park that was happening in the middle of Gotham City. The whole night was spent on games and junk food, and Jason Todd got his kiss on the cheek that wasn't from Barbara.
Over time your relationship developed into something more, you couldn't help but spend more and more time with him. He eventually asked you to be his girlfriend and you've been his ever since.
"Well, I don't want to risk it okay? You need to get home before Bruce notices, don't you guys have patrol tonight"
"Okay fine, fine but first, I have something for you princess"
You watch as Jason pulls out what looks to be a ring box. "Woah, wash slow your roll buster, we are only 15 you can't freaking propose!" you whisper scream, praying that your shock wouldn't wake up your parents.
"Princess calm down, it's just a promise ring," Jason said rolling his eyes as if this was normal. "I wanted to give it to you before our date tomorrow, so you'll already be wearing it"
Jason sat up a bit and cleared his throat while he looked at you nervously, "I'm not sure if I've made this clear but…I love you y/n. Like really love you and you're the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I got this promise ring, it's like a sign of me promising myself to you if that makes any sense"
"You love me?"
"Yes, I love you y/n and you don't have to say it back okay? We're young, I have years to come to hear you say it"
You were silent as he slipped the ring on your finger. You could tell from the moment he opened the box it wasn't cheap but you couldn't complain he bought it for you. Because he loved you. And you wanted to say it back but you were scared, scared to fully accept that you loved him.
Jason didn't care if you said it back or not because, in his eyes, you were the only one who accepted him. He looked at you sweetly and gave you a soft smile before getting out of your bed and heading towards your window. Now was the time to say it, to tell him you loved him but you just couldn't m
"I'll see you tomorrow okay sweetheart? I'll pick you up at 7" He says climbing out the window with one of his cheesy grins.
At the age of 15, you'd never be happier to be young and stupidly in love with Jason Todd. Ever since he moved in with Bruce, the two of you didn't get to see each other a lot, and that caused tension between him and Bruce. Jason believed he deserved a later curfew so he could visit you but Bruce was against it, he didn't think it was safe.
Tonight Jason snuck out to see you, the two of you had Valentine's Day plans and wanted to confirm them and we'll spend time with you. You were his world, you were one of the biggest reasons he became Robin. You were the one he wanted to protect no matter what and you knew that.
What you didn't know was this would be the last time you'd ever see Jason at least until you saw his casket. The two of you never celebrated your first Valentine's and you never got to tell Jason how much he meant to you. You never got to tell him how stupid he was for sneaking out, how much you didn't deserve this wrong, and that you did love him back.
7 years later
Everything had to be perfect.
Currently, it was February 14th and Jason had woken up with what was probably the worst news he could've gotten over a phone call.
Dear Mr.Todd, we're sorry to bother you on such a busy day but your reservation at Gotham Restaurant has been canceled due to a surge of higher-paying customers. We can reschedule your reservation for free at any time. We are sorry for this inconvenience.
"You're kidding me right!" Jason yelled, banging his fist against the wall. Out of a day, it had to snow today huh? Your first Valentine's since the two of you got back together. The first Valentine's since he died. Jason had never been able to give you the Valentines you deserved and when the two of you got back together, he immediately started planning.
"No Sir, we are very sorry for this inconvenience and we can try and get you another reservation elsewhere but-"
"Nowhere else is going to have any free spot and even ignoring that my girlfriend wants to go the Gotham Restaurant not anywhere else"
Well, that is what you had told him when he asked what restaurant would you like to go to that you hadn't been to yet. This wasn't how today was supposed to go. Jason had the whole day planned out. What should've been waking up in his followed by breakfast in bed, shopping, lunch, more shopping, dinner at your favorite place, a movie, dessert at your favorite ice cream shop, and ending with hopefully some cuddling if you didn't mind was now all ruined.
Jason had needed today to be perfect especially after you got over the fact that your dead boyfriend was not only alive but also vililangte who was formerly a crime lord. The fact you still wanted to be with him after all this time bewildered him this led him to believe he was probably on thin ice with you so today had to be perfect.
Since it was already Valentine's Day he knew no other restaurant would have any space for a reservation so that meant he'd probably have to cook the two of you dinner. Jason had quite the stocked fridge so he didn't see it as a bad idea but he knew you'd be disappointed for sure.
His entire relationship was riding on today being perfect and it was already failing. While Jason tried to get dressed he quickly noticed that it was already passed 8 o'clock. He was late, He said he'd make you breakfast in bed at 8 which made him late. Could today get any worse?
And it did when you told him you wouldn't eat breakfast with him because your boss really needed you at work for a couple of hours and he had already been on his way to your apartment. "I'll be back early enough for us to go shopping, and go to the restaurant. mkay? I guess we'll have to miss the movie" you said through the phone while simultaneously getting dressed for work. "Can't wait to go the Gotham Restaurant, can't believe you got us a reservation babe."
"Yeah about that…" Jason couldn't do this, he couldn't tell you that actually, you guys weren't getting dinner anywhere and that he was going to cook at home. You sounded so excited and so happy and he didn't want to be the reason that went away. "You'll love it alright. I'll pick you up from work around 6 for your shopping spree and then we'll get dinner"
"Jay I don't need to go shopping, dinner is enough really-"
"I want to take you shopping okay? I have enough saved up to spoil you and that's what I plan to do sweetheart"
Your heart hummed at the word sweetheart. It had been so long since Jason had called you that. It felt surreal because at times he didn't feel like Jason, well not like your Jason. The Jason who kissed you like his life depended on it, the Jason who was obsessed with holding your hand, the Jason who told you he loved you.
When Bruce called you and told you Jason was alive you didn't believe him. Jason was dead, you were at the funeral just like everyone else and knew how he died. A small part of you blame Bruce, this wouldn't have happened to Dick and even if it did he would've found him. Bruce tried telling you a couple more times but you ignored him. Your boyfriend, no your Jason was dead. The next time you hear about it was from Dick because Jason was out for blood. Joker's if we had to be specific.
You didn't want to believe him but Dick had loved Jason like they were biological brothers and you knew he wouldn't lie. He warned you that Jason was different and that I should be wary of him.
You took his advice and made sure not to walk home alone and tried not to go out at night but one day you had a rough day at work and you decided to visit Jason's grave. You left red dahlias on his tombstone and sat down next to it. You started talking to it about how your boss yelled at you and called you incompetent. "You would have called him an asshole for that if you were here," You told him how much you missed him. You knew he was alive but it felt so much easier talking to the tombstone because it felt like he was really there.
You did this consistently for about 2 months, you had caught on that someone was watching you. It was Dick because when you did actually see the figure they were much taller than Dick and they stayed hidden, Dick wouldn't have a reason to do that. It made sense to alert Dick but you didn't because you knew who it was and you weren't ready to face him.
Eventually, you heard from Dick that Jason had changed and that maybe you should talk to him but you still needed time. That didn't stop Jason from approaching you at your apartment. You were startled because your little high school boyfriend was suddenly 6 feet and over 200 pounds. He was practically all muscle and you were kinda scared. That didn't stop you from crying in his arms.
It took a while for the two of you to adjust to being in each other's lives especially when you never stopped having feelings for him. When you admitted that to him, he asked for a second chance. That he'd be yours even if you weren't his. So you let him be yours.
"Okayyy, I'll see you at 6 hun," you said just as you cut off the call.
Jason paces around his bedroom trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get the reservation back.
The two of you arrive at the mall, and you wait while Jason parks his motorcycle. It was shocking how there were barely any cars in the lot. Jason assumed that maybe people were just busy cause of Valentine's. You were so excited to go in that you ran over to the doors to get inside except you couldn't.
Closed for Construction, the sign read.
Jason didn't think today could get worse but it did. "No no no! This wasn't supposed to be Damn it!" He said angrily. He had even called the building, they were supposed to be opened. Construction wasn't for another 2 weeks, it was just his luck that they decided to start early. "Jason it's fine, I told you I don't need to go shopping. It was very thoughtful of you though to want to spoil me but you're already getting me dinner at the best restaurant in the city"
"There is no dinner! Our reservation got fucking and canceled and…Today is ruined y/n. Let me just take you home."
"Jason why didn't you tell me, I can promise you today is not ruined. Jay, are you even listening to me?"
Jason was hardly processing your words though because all he could think was losing you. You would dump him and he would go back to hating himself and his very existence. Would life go back to being a reminder that he died? He was tortured endlessly until he was finally out of his misery. No matter how hard the Joker tried to convince him that you hated him he wouldn't believe him. The part of you wearing his promise ring is what kept him going. What got him through the beating. What made it easier to look at the scars.
What left did he have if he wasn't able to love you. He was yours, he didn't know how to love others and he didn't want to because he would always love you. When he was watching you he realized that even though it had been 7 years you were still the same.
Still had the pretty smile and that contagious laugh, still had a knack for books and enjoyed it. You were still his, at least he believed so. And the one thing you asked him, he couldn't deliver. You messed up your first Valentine's and now he was going to mess up this one too.
"Jay for fucks sake, would you look at me!!"
Jason wasn't sure if it was that cursing that made him snap out of his spiral or maybe it was the fact that you were holding his hands. It had only been 2 weeks since he reintroduced himself into your life, and had been avoiding affection. He knew it was cause he was so big now and you were a bit scared. But right now you weren't. You were holding your hands with his. You were looking at him with what looked like pain and so much regret but you were smiling at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Just shut up okay? And listen to what I have to say"
After you had finally managed to calm him down you knew you needed to tell d him how you had felt. "When I lost you, I regretted so much Jay but what I regretted most was not telling you that I loved you and it hurt. It hurt knowing Joker had you and that you were in pain but what hurt more was that you were really gone."
You paused and slowed your breath a bit.
"I know it seems like you owe me something like you need to make up for lost time or show me you're worth love but I already know that Jay. I've been yours since we were kids, m'kay? "
"But I do owe you, I owe you the goddamn world if possible"
"For what Jay?"
"Accepting me again I know I'm different than I'm used to be. I'm more shut out and I know I definitely look different. There is so much you accepted just cause I love you"
You groaned annoyingly and raised your hand up and shook it in his face, "Have you even noticed that I'm still wearing this promise ring? The one you gave me?"
Jason had, you wondered why you still wore it. It was so tiny and was probably uncomfortable. It was a tiny gold band, he had paid Selina for that had a diamond on it. To others, it clearly looked like it could be an engagement ring and you still wore it because you still, did being to someone whether was dead or alive. People tried to convince you to move on and take off the ring but you didn't listen.
"You still have it..."
"Mhmm, believe me now?"
"How about we get dinner to go at some random place, come to my place and we'll eat and cuddle while watching some movies"
"You're okay with just that?"
"I'm okay with anything as long as I'm doing it with you Jay, that's the whole point"
Jason smiled and held you in his arms, "can't believe you're still all mine"
"C'mon let's go to the movie theater and see what they've got"
And that's exactly what you did.
The two of you were cozied up on your bed, with a bunch of food. Jason bought himself chili dogs and got you pancakes to make up for breakfast. Who knew pancakes tasted better at night?
Jason also bought 2 tubs of Ice Cream to substitute as dessert. You may not be eating at that fancy restaurant but you were still having the time of your life.
" I swear you hated chili dogs when I was alive?!"
"I always liked them I just never wanted to admit it else that would've been the only food we'd ever eat"
While the TV played in the background you looked over at Jason who looked the happiest he'd been all day. There he was, your Jason. He was there, under all those scars he was still there. Jason noticed you were staring you looked over at you, and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips. "I've missed the taste of your lips" he whispered quietly
He kissed you again and this time you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. "I've missed you, Jay," you said in response. Jason didn't hands on his way to your hips and he pulled you closer, right onto his lap. You still hadn't adjusted to Jason being so big, so when your hands found your way to his muscles you were surprised to feel him groan while you felt him up a bit.
"Sweetheart, if you keep this up I'm going to do something you might regret"
"I didn't regret my first time with you, I'm not going to regret it now babe"
He groaned again this time grinding his hips upwards against yours. Jason swiftly switches your position, putting you underneath him. His kisses quickly became more eager while his hips rutted into you, "Baby, I don't have any-"
"Don't need it, got on the pill a couple years back" you said softly, gripping his shirt. "I promise I want this, so let's get these out for he was please?"
Your pleas were enough for Jason to take off your dress, you'd worn a red satin dress. He'd always liked you in red, especially when it was just for him. Jason had on a tux except he replaced the jacket with his favorite leather one. Regardless, he still looked so good, as he always did.
His leather jacket was already on your bedroom floor, you tried to undress him but he stopped you. "The scars…I don't want to scare you again"
"You won't, I promise. I'll even kiss them, they're a part of you Jay and you're mine" you say tugging on his shirt. With a sigh, he silently takes off his shirt. You raise your hand to touch him but stop and make sure it is okay. He doesn't verbally answer but he gives you a nod. You trace his scars with your finger but one sticks out the most, his neck scar.
You move your face closer to his neck, and kiss his scar, "You're still as beautiful as ever, you're still my Jason" you say while you pull away from his neck. Before you can even read his reaction, Jason kisses you again, rough and with more of a need. Jason had told you he'd met other people but in the end, he could ever think of you. You were the only person who made it just for him.
You'd had your own set of boyfriends which all seemed to end up the same, they'd get too close and you'd dump them. You couldn't imagine loving anybody the way you loved Jason. Jason's body pressed against yours with his hand on your back, pushing you into him. Your hands made your way to his pants, tugging at the waistband. "Patient baby, I'll take em off for you"
The sound of a belt hit your floor but you didn't care, you kept kissing him like your life depended on it. You didn't fully remember when Jason took off your underwear but you remember him, "Jay when did get so..."
"big?" he finished for you with a chuckle, "Yeah, there's a lot you're going to have to get used to with me" His tip pressed at your cunt, earning a disapproving groan for you. You didn't like how slow he was going, you knew he was doing it because he didn't want to hurt you but you weren't 15 anymore you could take it.
You wrap one leg around his waist pushing against his back. Jason liked the way you squirmed underneath him, practically begging for him to fuck you. After a couple minutes, he gave in and sunk his cock right into you. Your nails dug into his back, feeling the stretch of his cock inside you. You felt so embarrared you came on his cock from just him entering"
"Did you just-"
"Shut up please"
Jason looked down at you, his cheeks flushed red, while he was breathing very quickly
"Jay why aren't you moving"
"Can't baby"
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I mean if I move, I'm going to cum on the spot sweetheart so please bare with me" he groaned out, trying to adjust to your warm cunt hugging his cock. Slowly he began to move, using one hand to grip the sheets in hopes he wouldn't blow his load too quickly. His other hand was on his hip, trying to steady your body. Your hands were on his face, caressing his cheeks. Whenever he blushed it was so obvious, you used to tease him all about it even though you loved it.
He down to capture your lips again, allowing your arms to find themselves around his neck. Each thrust was messier than the last, getting rougher after each second. Sex now was so much more different than when the two of you were teens. Jason did things you didn't even know he could do. Once he'd found your g-stop he began to abuse it, earning a chocked moan from you every time. He was studying what you liked, what made you feel good and you loved him.
He let go of the sheets and placed both hands on your hips, giving you even tougher thrusts and even biting on your neck. Your entire body was on fire, you were overwhelmed notnonkynfrom his size but the feeling of Jason's body pressing into yours. You couldn't feel so good.
You always knew Jason was a bitter, also long as he didn't draw too much blood you were alright with it. A soft moan left your mouth as you came again, cum running down your thighs while Jason continued to fuck you. Jason thought about overstimming, making you beg for him to stop because you'd feel too good.
"Didn't know my girl was into biting" He said, while lifting up one of your legs to push deeper into you. You'd cum for tbr second time but he needed you cum one last time at least before he came. The rough slaps of skin and moans filled the room. Making it hard for you to not cum again on the spot. You felt so good you couldn't even complain that he was teasing you "Fuck you're really sensitive sweetheart"
You hid your face in the crook of his neck while his hips pounded into yours. Your legs shook while you whispered in his ear, "If you don't stop m'gonna cum again, Jay pleaseeeee"
He didn't stop though, instead, you came another two times. Makes a mess of cock. "Such a good girl f'me, just let me fill you up and we'll be done. I promise sweetheart" He gripped your hips tightly before releasing inside you. The two of you exchanged a couple more kisses while you both rode out your orgasms.
You whimpered while he pulled out of you, missing his warmth already. He watched as his cum poured out of you, dripping on the sheets. You laid back on the bed, while he hovered over you for a brief moment.
Once he laid down next to you and though he was panting he pulled your body onto his lap. You rested your head on his chest just as he used to do to you. That reminded you, there was something you needed to say, "Jay can I say something I've been holding in for a long time, yeah?"
"Mhmm, what is it, sweetheart?"
"Jason Peter Todd, I love you"
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❥ a/n: happy valentine's to all my lovelies!! i hope everyone enjoys this fic and also has a nice valentines day, whether it's with someone or by themselves. this also is a gift to my bf who is my sweetheart.
❥ taglist: @meowkn, @kazzattack, @woodenanemone, @yourlocalcringydaydreamer , @orchidsangel, @jason-anon , @millyhelp, @gleasonlovesjasontodd
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mylight-png · 4 months
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Despite the fact that I've understood that Jews aren't really white for a long time, it's been a much more recent perspective shift to understand that I'm not a "white Jew" but rather a white-passing Jew.
Because even though I would express my views on "Jews aren't white" to people, I'd frequently be told I'm wrong, or they'd listen but then in the next conversation simply forget all about it and made it clear they didn't agree or didn't care.
And so, for a very long time, I allowed goyim to define what it means to be Jewish for me.
But would I let anyone tell me who I am in relation to any other identity? Or was I just so conditioned to treat my Jewishness as something for society, not me, to define?
My Jewishness isn't just my religion. Whether or not I keep shabbat, I'm still Jewish. If I cook mac-n-cheese in a pot and then make chicken soup in the same pot, I'm still Jewish. Even if I wear pants and a tank top, I'm still Jewish.
Because being Jewish isn't just being in a religious category. For me, and a majority of Jews (not forgetting about converts, love y'all), being Jewish is in our DNA.
You can take the Jew out of Judaism, but you can't take the Judaism out of the Jew. (It seemed better before I wrote it.)
We are Jewish not because of a religious category, but also an ethnic category. And the world has only very recently decided we are white. But even now, we aren't treated as such.
You know, my perspective shifted due to a conversation about arm hair with my dad and sister.
We were sitting in a restaurant and my sister was wearing a t-shirt, showing her arms. At this point, I still thought of us as "just white" and my "Jews aren't white" views were of the "well I don't get to claim that for myself" (idk why to be honest). This conversation changed everything.
Anyway, my sister was complaining, as middle schoolers do, and mentioned her very fuzzy arms. My dad responded, "Well of course, you're Middle Eastern."
I was shocked.
I knew my parents are from Eastern Europe, and that we don't look Eastern European, and I just thought of myself as "generic white" even though I knew I was 100% ethnically Jewish.
That changed.
I wasn't "generic white" but rather I was a white-passing Jew. I look white, I know that. But I still have some traits that, when taken on their own, aren't typically European at all. They're Middle Eastern.
It was my first time really hearing a Jew define being ethnically Jewish in this way, as opposed to a goy, and it was world-changing.
Finally, I let myself take my feelings about antisemitism seriously.
Do you understand why society forcibly defining all of us as "just white" is so dangerous? It lets people easily dismiss antisemitism. Because we live in a society where "anti-white racism doesn't exist" is accepted as a common fact. (I am offering no opinions on this, only stating it as a societal observation.) So if Jews are white, how can antisemitism exist? How can it really be serious?
That's why we need to define being Jewish ourselves. If we let the world do it, not only does it harm us personally (as it did when I would constantly dismiss my own feelings and gaslight myself into thinking I was making a big deal out of nothing) but it also harms us on the community scale. It's dangerous.
Jews define what it means to be Jewish. Jews define antisemitism. Jews define Judaism.
The world deserves no role in this except to listen and accept it, as they'd be expected to do for any other minority.
Jews aren't white. There are white-passing Jews, sure, but even we deal with antisemitism.
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gigislesbo · 8 months
Text
↳ “time to teach ya’” || op zoro fic
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╴ until you learn how to properly pleasure yourself, zoro refuses to allow you to leave. now it's too late to have any regrets about admitting to him that you've never masturbated before.
╴word count: 2k
╴pairing/dynamic: top!zoro , bottom!reader
╴content warning: smut like barely any plot, female prns, made with afab body in mind, just zoro being zoro, innocentish reader, guided masturbation, fingering, corruption kink, spit, praising, cussing, overstimulation, begging but from readers own accord
╴requested: no
╴a/n: english isn’t my first language so if there’s grammar errors i apologize. this is for my zoro lovers 🫡, do enjoy!
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↳ ZORO
Zoro could sense something was off about you, particularly after the party. Zoro was honestly a bit bewildered; it was a party with your close friends, and you’re acting dryly with him.
Zoro agitated finally decided he was finished being quiet; after all the way you were acting was bugging him.
"what’s wrong. You’re acting’ bizarre," Zoro voices impolitely, glancing at you once more. "Nothing? "I'm acting normally," you mention, baffled at what he’s talking about.
"Stop lyin'; we both know something’s off with you. Just spit it out already," he replies with a little bit more urgency in his voice.
"it’s nothing! I promise. I'm just, to some extent, embarrassed about something that was  discussed."You declared, sitting down on your bed, hoping that answer would appease Zoros curiosity. "And what was discussed?" he replies while glancing at you once more.
He wanted to get to the root of the issue so you wouldn’t continue to act so distant.
"Can’t say! It was just something ridiculous Nami brought up during our game." You say rambling about the game of ‘never have I ever’ that you and the other ladies played.
Zoro raised his eyebrow, looking for you to give him more specifics. You huff at him but finally decide to just get it over with.
"She asked if… I'd ever played…with myself, and I thought she was joking, but when I looked at her face, it was clear she wasn't. " You followed off before resuming. "I said I haven't, and out of shame, I went to go get you so we could go home," you say with a flush of coral on your cheeks, noticing how elementary your actions were.
Zoro quietly laughed. His partner hasn’t masturbated before, and that’s why they were acting in this manner. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, baby, because that'll change soon.." He proceeded to walk towards your bed and then he sat down. With a smirk on his face, he then continues his sentence. "I'd say it’s time to teach ya’ whatcha think, baby?"
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"That’s it, pretty girl," Zoro says while helping you keep your legs apart. "Doing so good."
At the praise, you couldn’t help but feel yourself get more wet. He knew what he was doing, especially when he persisted in helping you keep your legs open.
Honestly, all he wanted was to see you play with your pretty pussy, but you weren’t one to protest against it. After all, it somehow made you feel more pleasure.
"Getting all wet for me, babe? How cute." Zoro couldn’t help but feel proud of the fact that he was able to convince you to masturbate.
It was your first time, and it was with him watching, corrupting you, and teaching you where you should touch yourself. Everything was just too perfect to be true, especially after hearing your moans.
"Feel too good." You said playing with your clit and making sure it feels good, just like how Ro' told you.
This ecstasy was enough to melt any thoughts from your brain, just like the sun can melt snow.
Zoro could tell just by looking at you how much you were enjoying yourself, but he just couldn’t let you have all the fun.
He decided to play with you just a little bit, using his fingers to rub your inner thighs, which are closest to your needy hole.
As soon as he did that, you noticed. Wide-eyed and staring at his fingers, you could feel your mind start to wander. Wanting him to stuff you full with his pretty and big fingers.
"Keep your eyes on your own fingers, love." Zoro leans forward, whispering in your ear.
"Don’t wanna… You’re being unfair." You protest to him while looking at his face for any sign of giving in. There was not but a single smirk on his face.
"Sorry, pretty girl, I'm just here to teach. Nothing else…" He pauses for a moment, looking at your needy and begging face. "If you don’t know how to do it when you’re all alone and crying for my dick, then you’ll be more upset. Can’t have that, can we?" He says he is laughing with his deep, sultry voice.
You know what he says is right, but the laugh he made didn’t help your case. You just wanted him to pound into your poor cunt and have him call you the slut you are, but instead you had to give pleasure to yourself.
You opened your mouth to complain again, but Zoro was quick to shut you up by taking your unoccupied hand and spitting on your fingers.
Right now, your expression is like a deer in headlights. You didn’t know what he was planning to do, but you knew you had to listen up.
He then led your fingers to your hole, slowly making one at a time enter.
"Zo’ f-feels good." You moan; your finger may not be better than Zoro's, but it still made you feel good.
Zoro just smirked at you after he heard you moan, moving his hand away from yours.
You honestly didn’t know what to do from there, so you just stayed still, mesmerized by the feeling of your own finger inside. It honestly felt a bit weird; it was the feeling of something inside of you not moving. You looked at Zoro for some guidance, which he gave.
He honestly couldn’t help but chuckle a bit, looking at how pretty his innocent baby was. "Move your finger in and out of your pretty hole. If it still isn’t enough, then add a few more fingers,  k'babe?"
"M'kay," you say, just staring at him without even making an effort to move your fingers.
"I already went over this. I’m not going to do it for you; you gotta do it yourself. You're going to make me proud, aren’t you?" Zoro stated he meant it all.
You lived to make Zoro proud, so of course you would do it. The only thing is that you only feel like you can do that when you’re drinking with him or fucking. You don’t mind doing those things either, but sometimes you just wish he’d let you pleasure his cock right now instead.
I mean, there are so many ways he likes it, like when you’re jacking him off, giving him a blowjob, a titjob, or even just letting him fuck your tight little cunt. But right now, you know better than anyone not to ask. You’ll get refused, no matter how needy he is, because he wants you to please yourself only. So instead of sulking, you decided you’d make him proud.
You take your finger and start moving it in and out of you, looking for that one pleasure spot that you continuously miss. You then try adding three fingers, but it’s no use; you can’t find it.
Yes, it's pleasurable enoughto throw your head back every now and then, but it’s not the pleasure you want. You want your spot touched; it’s like your cunt craves it as it continues clenching around your fingers.
"Ro's too hard and can’t find it." You state between mumbles and moans, looking directly at how Zoro just stares at your body, looking like an animal wanting his prey, but he snaps out of it hearing your voice.
"Shouldn’t you know your spot better than me? You can find it, baby." Zoro says with a sly smirk on his face, knowing he’s teasing you.
You continue for a few more minutes, even while paying attention to your needy clitoral, but it's still no use. You can’t find the spot that’ll make you cum faster.
You look at Zoro with puppy dog eyes and say, "Ne-need you, Zo', can’t find it.. wan’ your fingers in me."
That was all it took for Zoro to finally snap and help your pussy out. I mean, who could say no to that?
He looks at you with a stern look on his face and tells you to follow his lead. Before you can take your fingers out, he stops you. Shoving three of his own into you. "Mm f-fuck!!" You screamed not on purpose but because it took all the air out of you.
Your cunt was stretched and full, like it is when he forces his cock into your cunt. Zoro groans hearing you moan like that just from him entering his fingers in.
Zoro then begins fingering you, going back in and back out of your stretched-out hole. You end up following him; it was a pleasure. You felt your body start to burn like lava. So much pleasuring you, almost too much, especially because Zoro ended up finding pleasure spots you completely missed.
At this point in time, you were a babbling mess, just barely able to think—completely overstimulated. Before you could even do anything. Zoro found the spot. You screamed once again, telling him it was too good and how you needed more.
Only to be left with complete disappointment because Zoro’s fingers were no longer in you. "Gotta pleasure it yourself, babe; as hot as it is knowing you’ll get off on my hands, it’s better watching you struggle. Don’t you think? He whispers into your ear, knowing how badly you need to cry.
You huff at him, but you can’t fight back. You know this is for the better. After a few more minutes of trial and error, you find it. You need this to cum, and so you keep shoving your finges in and out of your hot cunt, pleasuring your spot every now and then. "Gonna gonna cum!!" You shout, letting yourself cum.
The orgasm left your body shaking for more, but you were too tired to comply.
"Good girl, I'm very proud of you." Zoro said, looking down at your flushed body and pulsing hole.
"I hope you know I'm not done yet." You pause, getting air, then continuing, "I've got to help you out."
"I would love that, babe." He just smiles at you.
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© gigislesbo on tumblr !!
╴a/n: had fun making this, it’s not my best work but i did have fun so it doesn’t matter.
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cannellee · 7 months
Note
May I make a comfort request with alpha baji and an omega reader who basically tries to go against their instinct nc they were raised in a household where they were shouted at, belittled and then ramen advantage of when they needed it the most. (During heat siblings would mess with them and fuck with their stuff and when darling got angry, they were ranted to fight and got their ass beat)
Sorry I'd it's a little specific, I'm just having a bad day right now and I guess I want comfort.
TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★
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୨୧ alpha! Baji x omega! Reader
— his reaction to an insecure & traumatised omega s/o.
tw : mention of domestic violence, psychological abuse...
(thank you for requesting🫶🏼, I really wish you get better and that everything's okay for you:( I hope you like it!! angst isn't what I'm best at so I hope it's still okay!)
my masterlist : ☆
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you & baji met in a weird way, nobody would have assumed you would end up together.
baji was just so overwhelming, with strong pheromones, strong aura and a presence which subconsciously drew you to him.
and you were just an insecure omega, not as comfortable with your second gender as your counterparts were.
baji knew of your insecurities, that's why he always made sure to remind you of how perfect of an omega you were.
he would scent you every hour of the day, partly to claim you and keep away other alphas, but also to make it clear to you that you were loved. really loved.
coming into baji's life was the best thing to ever happen to you. you lacked so much confidence baji practically had to beg you to go out with him.
dozens of courting gifts were apparently not enough of a sign that he was clearly into you.
still, he was persistent and finally, you got your dream mate.
baji's the best alpha you could hope for. being aware of the way you were treated, he obviously did his best to make you feel safe and comfortable.
but there were days where your mood was worse than usual and baji just wasn't there at the right time to lift your mood up.
so here you were, gobbling up a fist full of pills to suppress your pheromones. your scent, as delicious as baji told you it was, disgusted you and you couldn't help but think about how your family would be way more satisfied if you got rid of it.
so you did. you also messed up your nest, destroying it and spreading the soft items baji precociously scented for you earlier this morning.
you curled up into yourself on your bed, hating your omega instincts for pleading you to get back into your nest, and cried yourself to sleep. it seems it's the only thing you're good for.
when baji came home and didn't immediately detect your strawberry scent, he knew something was wrong.
with his nose scrunched up and eyebrows frowning, he tried hard to smell you but he just couldn't.
when he called you and you didn't answer, he started to get anxious.
cautiously enters the living room and finds an empty bottle of pills, he paused for a second because those were pheromones suppressant your promised him to never use again.
those were bad for your health and baji thought he made sure to throw away all the remaining ones and lecture you to the importance of your well being.
he went to your bedroom, now more worried than ever and when he found you curled up in a ball and the end of the bed he thought he could feel his heart break.
baji quickly connects the dots when he cradles you in his arms and he doesn't even smell a thing coming from you. gently wakes you up and makes sure to let you know you're safe now.
he knows you're very vulnerable in this state, and although he's worried sick and a bit mad you neglected your health like that, he doesn't wish to alarm you any further.
although he can't sense any pheromones emanating from you, he just knows you're distressed and need his presence.
that's why he quickly reorganise your nest, scents everything he can and tucks you inside your poorly made shelter.
you're not fully conscious when his big arms hug your trembling frame, but his scent alone is enough of a relief that you don't even need to open your eyes.
he kisses you softly and makes sure you're as comfortable as one can be, covering you with blankets and letting your head rest against smooth pillows.
he soon spreads his own pheromones, making them sweeter than they normally are to appease you and pull your nose into the crook of his neck, where his scent is the strongest.
by the time you're fully awake, his presence calmed you down enough that you can completely look at him now.
his relief is visible by how his eyes soften when you give him an apologetic smile.
it pains baji to see his omega, the one he swore to protect, so weak and suffering.
he feels like a total failure, not good enough of an alpha for you.
later when you're doing better, he talks things out with you. make you promise once again to reach out to him, no matter when if you're feeling so terrible again.
if only baji could turn back time to shield you from all those people who hurt you, he would. his omega doesn't deserve the pain she's inflicting herself, both mentally and physically.
you're the best omega he could dream of, how could someone ever want to hurt you?
for now he needs to assure you it's totally fine being who you are ; yes you can surround the both of you with your oh so sweet smell, whine and complain about everything, let baji feed you and care for you.
he can be strong for the both of you, that's what he's good at<3
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doylldonmagar · 5 months
Text
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So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.
I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.
I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here
The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?
"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.
The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.
"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.
Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)
I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)
I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.
Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)
I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)
I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?
And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.
I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs
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izzuku · 1 year
Note
HII !! may i request a really confident reader with dom thoma ?
reader is bragging to someone (MAYBE THE KAMISATO SIBLINGS ? <3) about how they're a hard dom and how subby thoma is and later on ayato teases thoma over it and thoma is just confused because he knows how reader is in bed. thoma feels embarrassed so later he punishes reader, making sure the kamisato siblings hear who really is the sub in the relationship ♡♡♡
FEEL FREE TO CHANGE THE PLOT IF NEEDED,, and also the character i don't really mind !!
Is that so? ──
characters── thoma x gn! reader
c/w── NSFW, switched dynamics (dom/sub), slight exhibitionism (just from hearing) , Thoma is BUILT, mating press (on reader), wrist restraints, the Kamisato household hears everything, aftercare is not mentioned but it still happened
a/n── godDAMN I live for thoma and punishments. Your request shall be written lovely. I cannot promise something amazing cause I've been really out of Tumblr but at least I can respond to your request
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"Oh really? Please do tell me more about it". Ayato chuckled at your eagerness on continuing the story but her sister on the contrary could not be more red than a tomato.
"Please don't! It's a matter of privacy between you and Thoma...I'm sure he'd prefer if you kept all of this to yourself...." Ayaka silently beg for the conversation to end, hiding her growing blush with her famous fan. You on the contrary felt proud of the words coming out of your mouth.
"Don't be shy Lady Ayaka, I'm sure that some people have already heard Thoma's moans. I've been talking to him about this and he doesn't have a complaint since he trusts his lords wholeheartedly! Besides...I'm sure he's fully satisfied with how I treat him if you know what I mean.." You couldn't help but laugh, seeing as Ayaka ran out of the room and Ayato choke a laugh under his tea.
"If that's the case then I'll make sure to congratulate him later". That was Ayato's last words before you went on with your duties.
After his morning duties, Thoma enjoyed the rest of the evening with a chess game with Ayato, as always.
"You're getting better at this Thoma...maybe it's thanks to some foreplay with your...beloved partner?" The young master snickered at the thought of the previous chat with you, something that Thoma didn't quite understand.
"E-excuse me my Lord?" He stuttered out, a chess piece falling of his fingers. The blue haired man took one more look at his servant before laughing out loud. "I'm sorry Thoma, I thought it'd take a laugh out of you as it did with me". Thoma could feel his cheeks getting hot at the insinuation, only managing to let an airy laugh. "Foreplay you say? Why was that your first thought of me...getting better at playing?" He cleared his throat, continuing the game in hopes to make it less awkward.
"Oh...I thought you already knew about the things your dearest told us about you. Honestly I do understand your loyalty as a servant in the Kamiasato Clan, but to put those traits in action really surprised me Thoma" Ayato explained everything you said calmly, as if it wasn't something extremely explicit about your sex life. Thoma on the other hand, was starting put up the pieces. So...you told everyone about him being the submissive one huh? Then he has no other choice but to prove you wrong.
"Oh I see...I uh..understand now..." He took a few seconds in the middle of the silence. "My Lord, may I ask to have tomorrow free? I'd like to rest a little, just for tomorrow and I'll continue the rest of the week" and that's all he needed to say to have some time to talk about this with you.
The only thing illuminating the room was the dim light of the lamp next to your shared bed and some candles spared around the room. You almost didn't hear Thoma coming in if it weren't for the sliding door. "Good to see you coming back early love" you chanted softly while preparing the bed for the both of you. You didn't get a response, just the sound of the door sliding back and some faint footsteps getting near you. "So...I'm the dog you say huh..." his voice came out softly, unlike the theme of the discussion.
"What..? Dog? What do you mean Thoma?" You turned around, only to be met by a big blonde boy standing, almost hovering over you...just centimeters away. "It's funny actually...telling others that I'm the one getting fucked, that you're treating me so well like the dominant person you are honey". Your eyes get caught up in his gaze and you feel like you forgot how to swallow. With his wide figure and the strength in his arms he could easily slam you against the wood floor and fuck you raw right there and then. "Ho-hold on Thoma, my love, haha uhm..we can talk about this, you know I'm always joking about it, it's really not a big deal. I can apologize if you want to-"
"I think I need to clarify somethings between you and I love" His voice became demanding.
...
"F-Fuck! Wait! Thoma oh archons! Too much please..!" Your moans get choked on your throat as Thoma's pace never seems to cease. The rope around your wrists is starting to burn from the continuous pulling and you can't feel your legs anymore. Not that it matters to your boyfriend though, he's quite enjoying himself. He gets to part your legs, each one on either of his shoulders and push his cock deep inside you. He loves seeing the look on your face; saliva dripping down your chin, cheeks burning, skin full of marks and your hole pushing in and out loads of his cum from rounds before.
"Where did that dominance go love?" He pants, thrusting harder until he feels you clenching around. "I thought...I thought I was the one supposed to moan out loud" you can hear him chuckle between pants but your vision is so blurry from the tears than you can only focus on the feeling and the hearing. "Thoma-aa..Ah! M'close! Close close close!" your hands tug harder at the rope before holding your legs around his neck. He thrusts a couple more times before shots of cum paint your insides and outsides...leaving your brain like mush.
The Kamisaton Clan sure knows now who's in charge in bed.
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seajelllies · 2 months
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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝟑 ♡︎ I kind of want to touch them masterlist ✎ roll call 1 ✎ roll call 2
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Sweetheart?
Your face scrunches up at the tone in his voice, and when your vision clears you're faced with a borderline pissed off expression from a guy who liked like Yuji, if he actually stuck to going to the gym rather than watching movies all day in Megumi's dorm.
"You make it a habit to sleep in strangers rooms?" He raised a brow at you, and you were starting to wonder if that scowl was permanently etched into his face.
You pause- god you forgot that you totally fell asleep. The last thing you remember was the words in your textbook slowly jumbling up into a mess. You suppose it was because you finally consumed something that wasn't the same cup of noodles you've been eating in the corner of your room like a rat.
Damn, did you really just fall asleep just because you more nutrients than usual? How embarrassing. At least Yuji wasn't here, because you're almost 100% positive he would've taken pictures of you drooling all over your textbook.
Just the thought makes your eye twitch.
"In my defense, Yuji isn't a stranger." You finally reply, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly. He scoffs in reply, and you're starting to really dislike the sarcastic tone in his voice.
Your eyes meet again, and for a second neither of you reply nor break the contact, and you really start to take in his face. He really did look a lot like Yuji, and he mentioned once that he had an older brother back in high school- but if you were honest? He could pass for a twin, if he wasn't slightly more built and had a less chiseled face.
And what the hell was up with the marks on his face? Were they face tattoos- were they even real? It's not like you haven't seen people who've done it before, but they were mostly western celebrities and not a random college guy in the middle of Tokyo.
"You have a staring problem or what?" He could have easily looked away, but for some reason your lack of immediate fear was a little... confusing, and he refused to be the one to break the eye contact first.
"Are they real?"
He paused in confusion, opening his mouth to ask what before he saw the way your eyes were no longer looking him directly in the eye, and instead glancing around his face.
"Hah?"
"I said, are they real?" You make an awkward gesture- pointing would've been a bit too forward- so you wave your hands in the direction of your own face. "The uha... tattoos?"
"What, you think I just woke up this morning and decided to slap sharpie on my face to look cool?" He said in a derisive scoff.
"If you were going for cool, I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news." The words kind of slipped out before you had the chance to think it in your head first, and you slowly bring your hand to cover your mouth. Oops.
But to your surprise, his tone isn't as hostile as you expected it to be.
"I wouldn't expect you to know what's cool, sweetheart." The way he called you by the nickname again was drawn out, almost like a purr at the end- probably not on purpose, but the bass in his tone made it sound so alluring you almost forget he was indirectly insulting you.
"M'not your sweetheart." Your try to hide your frown behind your hand, but your eyebrows gave it away.
"Right," His tone was bored, lacking any sort of interest. He examined you up and down before continuing. "And who's are you then? Yuji's? You don't seem his typ-"
"WHAT? No!" You cut him off before he can even finish his sentence. "Yuji is like a brother to me! Friends! Why does everyone keep assuming we are anything more?" You mumble the last part to yourself in an exasperated sigh.
"'Worst she can say is no' they say." He snorts mockingly at your defensive response.
"Speaking of Yuji," You quickly gather your things, shoving them into your bag. "Tell him next time he wants me to tutor him, at least make sure he doesn't need to leave halfway through."
"The fuck I look like to you, a messenger?" He replied in a clipped tone.
You ignore it though, grabbing your shoes and jacket. He was annoying, sure, but you were less mad at him and more at yourself for managing to fall asleep when you still had so much to review. You suppose you can somewhat thank Yuji, for giving you at least an hour of sleep before you pull an all-nighter.
"Yuji said he was gonna walk you back, you know." He calls out with a shrug, but he doesn't stop you.
"I can manage on my own."
You don't bother saying goodbye, because really, you don't even know the guy and you're not sure you want to. You simply slip away before he can manage to say something.
Sukuna sits there in the silence for a moment, and he realizes that might have been the first full conversation he's had with someone that wasn't Yuji or Uraume where the other person wasn't on the verge of tears.
Interesting.
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𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔!
︾ Yippee chapter 3 done and I haven't lost my braincells (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) Anyways chapter 4 is the start of chaos, more tension, RAHHH (૭ 。•̀ ᵕ •́。 )૭
︾ I'm also trying very hard to balance Sukuna's attitude but I can't tell if I'm doing any good at that (ㅍ_ㅍ) I don't want him to be just an asshole the whole time but I also don't want him to instantly become smitten because back and forth banter is fun and silly and this might turn into a slow burn im so sorry 🧍‍♀️
︾ I also really enjoy writing the random bits of Nobara & Megumi banter at the start of the group chats lol I promise u they're all friends, they just fight like siblings ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)
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𝑹𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍! the taglist
@sweetteez @stressed-cryptid @moxiiscool @ashfrommyfire
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clickbait-official · 1 month
Text
Pericardium
prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting - "I love you. That's why I have to leave." "Well, I love you too and that's why you have to stay."
Thranduil brainrot is GETTING ME its GETTING ME
masterlist
~~~
This was getting unbearable, I thought to myself. Climbing the stairs leading to the gardens was not what I was referring to, though they were rather tiring.
The unbearable part was having to live like my heart wasn't beating.
Let me explain.
I moved into Mirkwood years ago, under the request of Lord Elrond of Rivendell. Assumedly, he'd thought that my experience with growing plants might be helpful in a place actively combating giant spiders.
He was right, as he normally is, but not for the reason he thought.
Instead, I'd found myself the right-hand of the Elven King himself. For no apparent reason at all - no background in diplomacy or in royal affairs helped rationalize just how I got here.
But that is not why you're here, is it?
Over the years by the King's side, I'd grown close to him. We shared hopes and heartbreaks, dreams and despairs. It felt healing, I suppose.
That closeness breached professionalism at times. It scared me.
Once that line was breached, there was no going back.
I had not even earned my position here. I was not a native to Mirkwood. How in Middle-Earth would Mirkwood's elves ever agree to such a union?
They would not, I decided. It made what I was about to do much easier.
I could not stop my heart from beating for long. I had to leave, quickly, before the traitorous thing choose to turn against logic yet again.
Surely Lord Elrond would welcome me back to Rivendell if I explained my situation, right?
The thought of leaving Mirkwood, the place I call home, as well as the king who rules it, forces my heart to skip a beat.
I must learn to live without a heart, I think. If only to curb the pain to come.
Rushing to the stables, I see my horse at the far end. My heart begins contracting in my chest. That is my cue to hurry the hell up, as the humans say.
One step after another. All to take me further away from here.
I clutch at my horse's hair. She dips her head down in recognition, letting me freely hug her close. My closest companion, now that I'm leaving.
It feels a little bit like burning at stake. Not that I know how that feels, but it's the most similar thing, I suppose.
My heart is being cooked in the flames of love.
I close my eyes to center myself for a minute. And like a good pie, I savor the moment.
Sighing, I open my eyes. "Let's get going, starlight."
"Go where?"
The sudden intrusion is startling, and I turn to look behind me.
Thranduil.
He looks stunning as always, like a star that's descended from the heavens. His eyes, the color of a clear sky, zeroed in on me.
"Well?" He tilts his head slightly. Every day I forget how speechless he makes me.
"I... I was just planning on taking a short ride around, my King."
To this he lifts an eyebrow. And smirks, damn him.
"Oh? May I accompany you, then?" He knows I can't deny him.
Not wanting him to know my true intent, I nod at him, "Certainly."
The slight smile gracing his face made everything else disappear. For a single moment, all I could see was him.
It took a minute to prepare, then we were off. Into the beautiful forest we call home.
~~~
I was busy admiring the tall grey-brown bark of the trees we were riding past when he broke the silence.
"Do you like it here?"
The question surprises me. Both in its suddenness and in its intimacy.
"Of course, my King. Why do you ask?"
I can feel his eyes on me, studying the map of my face. I can feel the blood pumping in my veins.
"If that's so, why does Elanor speak of your mentioning departure from Mirkwood?"
To this I advert my gaze. Caught.
He continues. "You seem to be more and more distant than usual. I can't help but wonder why."'
"Because I'm in love with you" My heart screams. I stay silent.
Thranduil notices this, and both his eyes and voice turn sharp.
"What are you hiding?"
I sigh softly. "My king, I must return to Rivendell."
He studies me, not believing a word.
"And I must leave soon. I did not want to cause any more burden to your shoulders, my King. That is why I did not tell you."
"You were never a burden. And did you not think of the panic your disappearance would cause in the palace? The panic you would cause me? You cannot just leave like that. Not without a proper reason." He gets more and more animated as he speaks, and I feel my temper rising to match his.
"I need to leave-"
"No you don't!"
"And go to Rivendell and-"
"Not without a reason! You can't just leave! I forbid it!"
His voice echoes in the forest. Mine follows suit.
"I love you! That's why I have to go!"
Ruined. That's what this friendship is.
He, for once, falls silent. His hair shifts as he turns to look at me, truly look at me. His eyes, once cold, are now softer.
"I love you too. And that's why you have to stay."
...What.
~~~
Brainrot is real because its happening to me
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nogenderbee · 7 months
Note
Could I request Zhongli, Thoma, Ayato, and Al-Haitham, and Kaveh hearing their lover talking about how they want to spend an eternity with them?
Of course! Again oneshots to make the reactions different for all. But yeah I had lots of fun doing it so hope you like it too! <3
Zhongli, Thoma, Ayato, Alhaitham, Kaveh being told you want to spend an eternity with them
TagList: @bleachtheidiot
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You and Zhongli had your classic and well known date, which was simple and yet enjoyable, so called tea date! You always chatted or listened to your boyfriend's stories, and his voice was always able of calming you down~
"... and that's how it ended. I could tell you a bit about the events that happened in the meantime. Have I told you about those time or have I not mentioned them untill now?"
"I don't think you did."
You were admiring him at this point, he may've thought that it's because you payed attention to what he's talking about at first but now when it was just you responding, and you still looked at him with this dreamy gaze, he knew there was something going on.
"Is everything alright, dear?"
"Yes, I was only thinking about how much I want to spend eternity you~"
That catched him off guard but he only showed surprised expression. He was a bit flustered but he wasn't blushing. He just cleared his throat and decided to move in from there.
"Ehem, thank you. I dearly hope your wish can come true. I'd be really happy as well if it would."
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It was normal for you to visit Thoma when he was doing his job or was during his break. Maybe it was to help him or to simply spend time with him. Either way, he never really mind! In fact, he was more than happy to see your face and it always gave him the boost of motivation he needed.
Even now he was just finishing watering flowers at Kamieato Estate and yet he was also planning your date out loud.
"And after that little walk of ours, I thought of treating you to some sweet! Miss Ayaka gave me good place recommendation!"
You really found it quite impressive that he could do his work properly and think of you without a problem. Sure, Ayaka did helped him but that's still something! You couldn't help but let him somehow know how glad you are for him.
"That's perfect~ I really wish to spend eternity with no on else but you."
Boy's eyes went wide and shade of red quickly spread across his cheeks, as he became to stutter. He tries calming himself down but it seemed like it's of no use in front of you.
"A-Ah, thank you... you're... very kind... that's nothing new of course! I- My wish is the same, trust me dear."
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You and Ayato just had a little walk. It wasn't a date but more like simple hangout to make the bond between you stronger. You were simply holding hands and chatting, even tho comfortable silence also had it's place.
"that's why I think dates like that turn out the best for us. But I saw that you enjoy those too, isn't that right?"
"Yes. You know me so well!"
"I try my best. If we plan to spend future with each other, it's only reasonable."
"Mhm, I wish to spend eternity with you~"
These words really just slipped from your mouth but it looks like he didn't mind at all. In fact, he seemed somehow pleased by your answer as he had a little smile on his face.
"Those are bold words. But I do feel the same. As long as I can, I'll always choose you~ in any life."
Maybe he was so calm because he expected it? Or he felt the same towards you for a long time and just didn't knew how to say it? Or maybe it's the fact he comes from region of eternity? Many questions and yet so little answers. But it doesn't matter! After all both of you have those lovey dovey smiles on your faces~
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Quiet dates were common thing between you and Alhaitham. Even now he was reading a book as you were doing your own things, but he also held your hand with his free hand.
But you suddenly got an idea or maybe your mind just wandered somewhere... whether was it for the sake of making him at least a bit flustered or because you genuinely wanted him to know... lovely words left your mouth.
"You know, I really wish to spend eternity with no one other than you..."
"Thank you, I'm glad we both think the same. I can't wait to see what the future will be like for us."
He says it almost as if he expected it, as if it was already so obvious to him. But you know him and you made sure to look closely... when your said those words, is eyes went wide a bit and even now he has problems with focusing back on his book, he may even quickly look your way from time to time.
He was trying his best to hide how flustered that made him but you couldn't let go so simply! So of course you added few more words to tease him~ And as you do, a faint blush appears on his face.
"It seems like my words moved you a bit~"
"Only a bit. It's expected reaction when I hear my lover say such a thing."
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Kaveh and you were classically walking around while he was rambling to you about what kind of project he had in mind recently. He never liked to spend time with you in his house because of his roommate... long story short, you usually hangout outside.
But today, when you two were walking, you couldn't focus on what he's talking as you were lost in your thoughts.
"Hey! Earth to Y/N! What were you even daydreaming of?"
"Oh! Well... I was just thinking of how I wish we could spend eternity together..."
"What-!?"
You definitely made him blush, but he also liked the idea of spending so much time with you. He was simply a bit shocked to answer you instantly.
"Mhm, I thought of how it can look... you know, our house, our life... all of that."
He definitely needed some time to calm down so you stood silent for few seconds to let him do just that. And soon after, you finally received a reply from him!
"It sounds lovely~ I think I already have few ideas on aesthetic of our house. I'm sure you'll like it!"
❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉
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chvoswxtch · 1 year
Note
hi court!!!! I devoured your frank castle fics, you just capture him so fucking perfectly!!! soooo, i’m usually pretty extroverted and outspoken and I feel like I see a lot of frank x shy reader. I was wondering if you were interested in potentially writing this request: frank and a pretty confident and extroverted reader (on the shorter and curvier side bc I’m self indulgent) who maybe feels a bit insecure because of a lack of romantic partners and whatnot and maybe they’re friends and something happens and frank just wants to show her how attractive he really finds her…
maybe this sparks some inspiration? i would love to read it, but either way I am obsessed with anything frank or matt you write!!!
ps: thank u for the follow now we’re moots and i’m so fucking excited!! xxx sending so much love your way
hi angel baby d!!!
first of all, thank you so much for your sweet words. i'm also so fucking excited to be moots now!!! as a short curvy girl myself, I happily self indulged on this with you. thank you so much for the request, angel. I wasn't sure if you wanted it to be spicy or not, so I left it open ended. but if you want a spicy follow up, i'd be more than happy to write it. ;) please enjoy this valentine's treat from me to you, love. ❤️
I know y'all didn't think I was gonna leave out my frankie girlies on valentine's day. everyone say thank you @neverlandcity. ❤️
warning: swearing (bc frankie), mentions of alcohol, & allusions to spiciness. word count: 1.7k
[part two]
pretty.
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From the moment he met you, Frank hadn’t been able to shut you up. He always knew exactly what was on your mind because you had no problem speaking it. For someone so small, you sure as hell had the confidence of someone his size, and the attitude to match. He was certain it looked comical every time he had to haul you out of a bar over his shoulder when you tried to pick a fight with some asshole three times your size. Other times though, he just sat back and watched with a grin. After all, sometimes those shitheads earned it.
If there was one person in this entire world Frank was scared to death to piss off, it was you. But, he got lucky in that your patience with him seemed to be limitless. As much as he had tried to keep you at arms length when you two first met, you weren’t having any of that shit, and very quickly had won him over. You very easily became one of his favorite people, and overtime he eventually got used to keeping up with you. 
But tonight, you were quiet. 
Frank couldn’t think of a time since he’d met you that you had ever been quiet. There was the one time you lost your voice from having a cold, but that didn’t stop you from furiously going through two entire notepads in a three day span. He thought he’d enjoy the silence, but honestly he had gotten so used to your voice that it was unnerving not being able to hear it. There was an immense sense of relief he felt once you could talk again, even if you did sound like you smoked forty packs a day for a while. 
You hadn’t said more than ten words since you showed up at Frank’s door thirty minutes ago with a full bottle of tequila that was steadily being depleted. He cocked his head to the side as he studied you, noting the intense look of concentration on your features as you sliced up another lime in perfectly proportionate wedges. 
“Did someone die?”
You immediately paused, whipping your head around to face him as your brows knit together in the center of your forehead in clear confusion.
“What?”
“Just wonderin’ if someone died.”
“Uh…not that I know of?”
“Then what the hell you bein’ so quiet for?”
“What are you talking about?”
Frank leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied your face.
“You’ve barely said a full goddamn sentence since you walked through that door, and you’re cuttin’ up that lime like you’re performin’ fuckin’ open heart surgery. Not to mention, that bottle was full thirty minutes ago.”
A scoff sounded from your lips as you squeezed the juice of one of the lime wedges into your glass and shrugged your shoulders.
“Yeah well, someone is a heavy handed bartender and likes their drinks strong.”
“You’re the one makin’ the drinks, sweetheart.”
Frank arched one of his brows with a smirk as you glared at him. Your lips parted as you went to retort, glancing between both of your glasses and the assembly line that you currently had going. You shook your head as you went back to fixing yourself another drink and flipped him off over your shoulder.
“Shut up.”
Frank rolled his eyes as he rubbed his palms down his face, eyeing you as you sat back down at the table across from him and sipped on your drink.
“Jesus, normally I can’t get you to shut the hell up and now I can’t get ya to talk to me? The hell’s that about?”
He could tell he was testing your patience by the way you narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips in displeased line.
“No one died, Frank.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
An exasperated groan left your lips as you set your glass on the table with a heavy thud, crossing your arms over your chest as you rolled your eyes.
“I had a shitty date last night and I wanted to drink about it. There. Will you quit being a dick now?”
Frank tensed up at the mention of the word date. 
Who the fuck did you go on a date with? Why didn’t you tell him? Since when were you dating? Wait…did you say-
“That bad?”
Your eyes instantly locked with Frank’s, and the emotion swirling around in them had him softening. You swallowed thickly and put your armor back up, rolling your eyes as you laughed dryly and downed another sip of your drink.
“I’ve had worse.”
As much as Frank didn’t wanna hear about you going on a date with some asshole, he did have a lot of questions.
“He uh…do somethin’?”
The nonchalance he had attempted had clearly failed by the smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth.
“Nothing that warrants you going all “Punisher” on him.”
Frank cocked his head to the side slightly as he stared at you, tensing his jaw as his fingers twitched in his lap.
Anyone even fuckin’ lookin’ at you the wrong way would warrant that.
The smirk on your lips quickly fell when you noticed Frank was seriously considering the validity of your words. You let out a deep exhale as you stared down into your glass, swirling the contents around slowly.
“Just…not his type I guess.”
“The hell’s that s’posed to mean? He say that?”
You held your hand up as Frank sat up a little straighter in his seat, shaking your head as you chuckled dryly to yourself.
“He didn’t have to.”
Frank’s face fell at the dejection in your tone, but he was impossibly confused. There was a layer of scarlet starting to burn on your cheeks, and you prayed Frank would think it was from the tequila and not from the embarrassing truth. 
“I…I’m just…not what he wanted, and that’s fine, you know? I just wish I would’ve stalked his social media before the date, because then I would’ve known better than to go. I mean…all his exes were these like super tall, thin, bombshell supermodel types, and that’s just…not me.”
There was a rage flowing through Frank’s veins that he hadn’t felt in a long time. As much as you were trying to play it off, he knew you were upset. He could see the way your eyes glimmered as you gazed down into your glass. 
“Whatever. He was boring anyway.”
“He sounds like a bitch.”
A loud laugh slipped past your lips as you spit out your drink, covering your mouth as you stared at him incredulously and tried to speak through your giggles.
“God Frankie, tell me how you really feel.”
No one had called him Frankie since Russo, and the first time you had, he froze. He hadn’t expected to like the way it sounded coming from your lips so much. He tried to pretend like it annoyed him every time you called him that, but he secretly loved it. It was something that now belonged only to you. He’d never let anyone else use it.
Frank shook his head as he finished off his own drink, setting the glass down on the table a little harder than he had to as he scoffed.
“Fuckin’ idiot was probably intimidated.”
“Intimidated? Frank, I can’t reach the top of my fridge without a step stool.”
“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout your height, smartass. I meant by you.”
There was an edge to Frank’s voice that stunned you quiet and had your giggles immediately disappearing. He seemed genuinely pissed off about something, and there was a flame flickering dangerously in his eyes. He stared at you quietly for a moment, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts. Shaking his head slowly, a tiny smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.
“You’re smart, I mean really fuckin’ smart. Sometimes too smart for your own damn good. You’re funny, and you ain’t even gotta try to be. You got the biggest goddamn heart out of anybody I ever met. I know you talk a big game and you’re ‘bout five feet and some change of pure sass, but you give a shit, ya’know? I mean you care ‘bout people, always goin’ out of your way for everyone and shit. I mean hell, you intimidate the shit out of me, and I’m a man. I can only imagine how much you terrified that little boy.”
Your mouth hung open as you processed Frank’s words. There was so much venom in that last sentence alone that you were nearly speechless. 
“I…you’re…contractually obligated to say that.”
“The hell I am.”
“Frank-”
“A boy wants a girl, sweetheart. But a man…a man wants a woman, yeah? And you, darlin’, are all woman.”
You’d be a fucking liar if you said you didn’t find Frank attractive. But you certainly never thought he would ever see you that way. You thought he tolerated you at best considering you practically forced your friendship on him. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol simmering in your veins or his words buzzing in your ears, but there was something about the way he was looking at you right now that had warmth spreading throughout your lower half.
“I do.”
“What?”
Frank chuckled as a wolfish grin spread over his lips, nodding his head in your direction.
“You asked if I thought you were pretty.”
Your eyes doubled in size as your lips parted, blinking a few times to try and clear the drunken haziness that had started to cloud your judgment.
“Oh God…did I say that out loud? I don’t even-wait, what? You…you think I’m pretty?”
“I think you’re fuckin’ gorgeous.”
Frank tilted his head to the side slightly as he let his eyes wander shamelessly over your body, clearly pleased with your reaction to his confession. He used his boot to kick his chair away from the table a bit so that he could spread his legs out as he faced you directly. He gently patted his thigh with one of his large hands as he stared at you with a smirk spreading over his mouth.
“Now, why don’t you c’mere and let me show you just how pretty I think you are, sweetheart.”
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 8 months
Note
Hello! IDK if you can do this, but how about a FNAF DLC platonic:
Ruined Eclipse (or Sun and Moon separated) with a creator! reader, something like a reunion parent-child, they recognize the reader because of an old guest record, the first one they ever had. As they were created by them
"I still can't believe you almost shutdown the entire MXES system..."
"Yeah, me neither. But who decided that the avatar should look like some...creepy rabbit? I was honestly more scared of that than anything."
".....I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just keep moving."
"Vanessa's right, we're getting close to the daycare." You chimed in, keeping a hopeful smile on your face as you shone the flashlight down the debris-ridden path.
Coming back to the ruined Pizzaplex was something you never even dreamed of doing. After helping Gregory, Vanessa, and Freddy (or at least what's left of him anyways) escape this awful place...you thought that the best thing to do was to implement an advanced security system.
One that ensured nothing, especially the machine you all called the "Mimic", could get out and wreck havoc.
Of course, you felt bad for leaving all the other animatronics behind, including Freddy's bandmates. You had plans to come back and retrieve them once Vanessa confirmed that the widespread system virus was cleared.
Then a mysterious earthquake struck and basically left the complex in ruins.
Fortunately the security system remained intact, as it was her idea to put all of it into the AR world where reality couldn't damage the nodes.
And for a while there were no problems...
Until they began shutting down one by one, and Vanessa discovered that a new user had been paired with the VANNI network thanks to the mask she left behind.
That user?
Gregory's friend: Cassie.
Somehow the Mimic managed to contact her and pretend to be him, instructing her to "save him" by turning off all the nodes. And it was interfering with all of your attempts to reach her.
Even worse?
MXES kept sending out alert signals to the animatronics--which is what it's programmed to do in order to keep anyone from touching the nodes..
But considering the horrible state the Glamrocks were in the last time you saw them, you were almost certain they're hunting Cassie like a pack of wolves, driven by anger rather than a glitch or security protocols.
Luckily you were able to access her walkie-talkie before she could shutdown the Entity itself and free the Mimic, explaining that Gregory was never there to begin with.
You, him, Vanessa, and Freddy eventually came to her rescue, taking a backup of MXES before escaping the pizzaplex for the last time.
Or...
At least you thought that would've been the last time you've ever seen that place.
Cassie recognized you as the creator of the Daycare Attendant and mentioned that he was active and....didn't try to harm her after she managed to reboot him.
That piqued your interest.
You didn't think he'd be functional still, let alone harmless towards her.
For a few days you kept thinking about it and how much you missed seeing that ray of sunshine/moonlight..
Next thing you knew, you were back here with your friends to seek him out. Gregory proposed finding a new body for Freddy--or at least batteries from the recharge stations to keep his head active.
Since you're already here, you might as well take a shortcut to Superstar Daycare.
"Can I ask you something about him, [y/n]?" Cassie spoke up.
"Sure."
"...was he meant to have some third mode? Because when I rebooted him, he didn't act too much like Sun...and he definitely wasn't acting 100% like Moon, either."
"....oh my gosh.." Stopping in your tracks, you stared at her with wide eyes. "You managed to put him into Eclipse mode??"
"I....guess..? Is that what he's called?"
"Yes! That was his default mode for his theater performances! I thought it was lost forever, but....wow." You laughed softly. "I have to see him now."
Eclipse was a name you thought you'd never hear again.
Originally, you had created him as a stage performer in the Pizzaplex's early days, developing his day-night cycle function as a neat little schtick for the children. He was meant to tell stories and switch between Sun and Moon to act out a thrilling "good vs evil" battle.
Alas his performances didn't get nearly as much attention as the Glamrocks, and you were sorta coerced into coming up with a new idea lest he was scrapped altogether.
You decided he'll become a daycare manager to help with the recent uptick of patrons accompanied by toddlers.
You led a small engineering team to help program him with new information, including a guest record that you tested out first, and he adjusted to his new role very well. He became popular even quicker than before.
The only issue during maintenance was the light-sensitivity switch couldn't be removed...not even by you. For whatever reason the DreadUnit didn't have that information on file.
You've tried everything in the book, even attempting to reverse-engineer how you made it originally. But you couldn't remove it without compromising Eclipse's entire system.
It's like it was somehow integrated permanently into his software, rather than being a physical mechanism you put in with a wrench and screws.
You knew for a fact you didn't design it that way.
One of the newbie engineers who doubted your skills tried fixing the problem themselves, taking Eclipse to parts & services without your permission.
Then there was a blackout, and they nearly got maimed to death after he abruptly switched into Moon and attacked them inside the "protective" cylinder.
The incident had been covered-up since, but you never did see Eclipse (or that coworker) ever again.
There was just Sun and Moon now, with neither half remembering anything related to their original form.
As painful as it was...you had to accept it, knowing that it would be too risky (and costly) to perform any further maintenance on that mechanic. You just continued overseeing his duties as daycare attendant.
But things kept going downhill from here.
You felt like your beloved creation had turned into a walking nightmare, considering the amount of complaints you've had over him making toddlers cry while they're getting picked up from the daycare.
It didn't help matter where the blackouts became more frequent in there, too, triggering Moon to come out often; management's solution was to shove a bunch of backup generators into the play areas and call it a day.
They didn't wanna waste a single dime more on any problems relating to the Attendant or his attraction, making it clear that you'd only repair him if he needed cleaning.
And they threatened you with termination if you mentioned anything about Eclipse to the guests or coworkers.
It was so unfair.
The incompetent engineer who only had two months of animatronic repair experience took your creation and broke him--being let off the hook with a mere slap on the wrist and all their medical expenses paid...
While you're stuck dealing with the consequences.
Neither Sun nor Moon blamed you for anything that happened, but you still felt like you failed them.
Like you failed Eclipse.
You eventually resigned, unable to deal with it anymore, although you still thought about him all the time and visited the Pizzaplex, hoping he was doing well.
Maybe he'd forget about you as he continued receiving an endless number of guest names to add to his database. He probably erased your name since you haven't been back in such a long time.
Perhaps..that was for the best.
Yet now you were here once again among the ruins of the mall, holding onto the tiniest bit of hope that he was still alive.
It seems you haven't fully let him go just yet.
..........
As the doors to the daycare eerily creaked open, you made the brave decision to go inside alone while the rest of the group kept a lookout for trouble.
Gregory and Freddy, of course, had their reasons not to enter that place. Neither of them knew for certain if the Attendant would remember them...and how Moon chased down the brunette at the end of every hour.
He'd rather not relive the horrors of trying to navigate through the darkness and turn on those stupid generators.
You looked all around, frowning at the ruined state of the daycare you helped build. But at the same time it filled you with such nostalgia.
It's a miracle anything was left standing at all.
"Hello? Eclipse?" Your voice echoed throughout the seemingly empty attraction.
A few seconds later, you got a response that made your heart swell with joy.
"Hello, friend! Welcome to Superstar Daycare!!"
In the blink of an eye, a familiar face floated down in front of you with a smile. You stepped back and took a moment to look over the animatronic, seeing he had parts of Sun and Moon blended together as one.
And somehow, he was able to stand despite only having one intact leg.
At first you had no idea what to say..
But no words had to be spoken, as Eclipse's petals clicked and shuffled as he leaned in closer. From his eyes came a holographic scanner that swept over you once, and once it vanished he stepped back, shocked.
"[Y/n]...my creator..?" He whispered. "You...have returned?"
You nodded, smiling as tears formed in your eyes. "It's me, Eclipse. I'm back."
You couldn't help opening your arms up to him, and he embraced you tightly in response, nearly crushing you. Although some of his endoskeleton components and loose wires poked your sides, you didn't care about that, being too overwhelmed with emotion to worry.
He was okay, and he didn't seem to hold any ill-will towards your abrupt resignation.
That's all that mattered right now.
"Oh it's so, so good to see you!! How have you been? Is your boss giving you a rough time? Am I due for maintenance??" He was rambling a mile a minute, and you just chuckled and shook your head, letting him go.
"No, you're just fine, buddy. But listen, there's..something you need to know-"
"Of course, of course! Could you just give me one moment? I'm almost done cleaning up this place!" He looked around anxiously. "We'll be open in an hour so I need to do one final sweep!"
"Eclipse-"
"I pinky swear it'll take only a second! And then-!"
"Eclipse. I command you to stay put and listen."
Before he could leap out of your sights, your firm tone of voice made him freeze and stare at you, completely unmoving.
Even you were stunned that he was still programmed to obey you, but at least it makes what you're about to tell him easier.
You cleared your throat, awkwardly clipping your flashlight to your belt before finally speaking. "Cleaning up the daycare is...no longer necessary."
He tilted his head like a curious cat, looking rather troubled. "No longer...necessary? Why? Did I do a bad job? I hope not...I-I was just...trapped in a long sleep!"
You nodded. "I know, but during that time...an earthquake hit the Pizzaplex, and now it's too dangerous for anyone to come visit."
"..huh, so we're closed...forever?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Eclipse.."
"I see..." Slowly, but surely, he was processing this news. Although he perked back up with a smile. "But it must be somewhat safe..since you came to visit me!"
"Cassie told me you were still here." Your smile returned, relieved he was taking it better than you initially expected. "I heard she helped you...and Sun and Moon when you needed it most."
"Cassie....? Cassie...ohhh, the little girl who made us whole again!!" His eyes flashed with recollection. "She was such a sweet kid! Is she alright? Is she safe?"
"She's safe, and she's just outside the daycare. Along with Vanessa and um...Gregory."
"........"
"L-Listen, I know you two had a bad history together.." You began, cautious as he just stared blankly at you. "But I promise he's not-"
"Who's Gregory? I don't recall his name being in my records.."
'Ah....so Eclipse doesn't know him. Thank god.'
"Oh! That's okay. He's a great kid, too. I'll have to introduce you to him." You extended your hand out. "Come with me. Let's get out of this place. He needs our help finding a new body for Freddy since his original one got destroyed by the STA--earthquake."
Internally you cursed yourself for that near-slip of the tongue, although Eclipse didn't notice at all and joyfully took your hand, eager to help a kid in need.
He let you lead him out of the daycare like a parent and their child, never letting your hand go even for a moment. But you weren't complaining.
In a way, you were his parent.
You did create him, after all.
And now you've finally reunited with him.
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roxannarambles · 6 months
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I commissioned the wonderful @gotchibam to draw this piece and they just blew out outta the water, absolutely beautiful. There's not enough art of Nemona and especially not enough art of Nemona & Juliana, so I thought, why not? Not to mention I'm still salty about our Paldean friends being excluded from the DLC, so here's a little something to remedy that 💜🧡
In honor of the art being finished, I'll even post a Juliana/Nemona scene from my Teal Mask Rewrite fanfic that was mostly obscured due to Carmine and Kieran's hijinks. Because I did in fact have the whole conversation written, but I didn't put it all in since the 'ship really wasn't the main focus of the story. Scene behind a cut in case folks are not interested in 'ship stuff ^_^
They wandered the outskirts of the festival, the mood cozy and comfortable as they chatted under the light of the lanterns.
In the midst of their discussion, Juliana was saying,
"I dunno, I still think maybe I shouldn't have played Fezandipiti instead of Carmine."
"What? No, you did great, what d'you mean?"
"Well I just felt kinda bad, she seemed really deadset on it."
"Nahhh, she volunteered to be Munkidori! It's fine."
Juliana tossed the remains of her candy apple in a trashcan as they walked by. She sighed,
"I guess so. Though I got the feeling she only did that 'cause-- uh."
She hesitated, hoping Nemona wouldn't notice.
"Cause what?"
"Nothing, nothing."
"What?"
"It's silly, it's-- well. She made that weird comment, um. Thinking we were girlfriends?"
". . . oh."
There was an awkward pause as the two walked. After a few moments, Nemona asked,
"Does it bother you?"
Juliana asked cautiously,
"Does what bother me?"
"Just, um. People thinking . . . that. I mean, if it bothers you, we can tell them we aren't--"
"What, no, it doesn't bother me!"
"Oh, okay. Are you sure?"
Juliana laughed.
"Of course! Why would it? Like . . . somebody thinks I'm dating the coolest, most kickass, smartest girl in my school, oh nooooo, how awful, whatever shall I do?"
She'd held a dramatic hand to her forehead as she'd said it, and Nemona groaned,
"Unnngh, c'mon, Jules."
"What?"
"I really wanna know if it bothers you, I'm being serious--"
"I'm being serious too!!"
They slowed to a stop near some park benches. Nemona cast her a wary glance.
". . . you are?"
Emphatically, Juliana answered,
"Yeah, of course, I'm dead serious. You're the coolest, most kickass, smartest girl in my school."
"Nnngh, Jules!"
"What?? Nemona, I know you hate compliments but I am gonna keep saying it until you accept it's fact--"
Nemona buried her face in her hands, saying,
"Noooooo . . ."
Juliana drew closer and gently grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face and holding them. Gazing deep into her eyes so she knew she was serious, Juliana told her,
"I mean it, Nemona. You're incredible. Every day, you inspire me. You attack life with everything you have. You love so deeply and you never let anyone stop you, no matter how often they've tried. You're sweet and you're brilliant and you're kind and you're literally the most amazing person I've ever met."
Blushing intensely, Nemona squeaked, "Oh . . ." Juliana let her hands go and cleared her throat. "S-so, uh, yeah, I mean . . . it doesn't bother me." "Okay. . . t-that's good. . ." "But, uh, hey, if it bothers you if people think we're girlfriends, I mean, that's fine--"
Nemona cut her off, voice incredulous; "--bother me? Of course not! How-- if-- if we were girlfriends I'd be the luckiest girl in the world!" Juliana blinked at her, startled. With dawning realization, she breathed, "Oh . . ." "H-hypothetically, I mean . . ."
Lips twisting into a wry smile, Juliana nodded, "Right, of course."
Her glance shifted away, and after an awkward pause, she ventured, "So, um . . . hypothetically, if we were girlfriends . . ."
Nemona answered quickly, "Yeah?"
Juliana's eyes returned to Nemona's. She inched closer to her, almost imperceptibly, and continued carefully, "Are you . . . the kinda girl who likes surprise kisses or likes to be asked, orrrrr . . ."
Nemona considered the question seriously before shrugging. "I mean, either's good, I guess it depends on the situation. . ."
“Okay. Got it.”
They gazed at each other in tense silence. The seconds stretched on and felt unbearably slow; one second, two, three . . .
Then Juliana took a breath and blurted,
"Could I kiss you?"
Nemona's eyes widened, almost comically large. She automatically wetted her lips and swallowed, her gaze flitting to Juliana's lips and then back again to her eyes. She stammered, ". . . u-um, h-hypothetically, o-or . . .?" Juliana laughed softly. "For real." After a lingering pause, Nemona nodded, a burgeoning smile threatening to overtake her. Juliana slowly leaned closer and lifted up a little on her toes; their eyes slipped shut as their lips met. It was very tentative at first, slow and careful and awkward, but it was also soft and warm and kind of wonderful.
Juliana felt Nemona's hand cradle her jaw as she pressed closer, deepening the kiss. Juliana could swear it felt like something bright and hot was thumping in her chest-- like hot coals being stoked to life.
"All right, EAT DIRT, DORKS!!"
She startled at a sudden shout and the force of something impacting with her back. A few seconds later, she realized it was a snowball.
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poppadom0912 · 4 months
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His Girl
Warnings: Brief mentions of the Burke drama and Hannah's overdose situation, Will's dating life?
Summary: Through all the women in his life, at the end, only one ever truly mattered.
A/N: Just because I want to, I'm changing a few things around just for the plot. I was inspired by several fics on ao3 about singlefather!Will so i thought i'd make this part of my Faith Halstead series. Hope you enjoy!!
This is my last fic of the year. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and will have a wonderful new year. Fingers crossed 2024 will be our year. See you all next year!!!
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Faith's mother had never been present. It had always been just Faith and Will from day one and he never saw a reason for that to change till he moved back home to Chicago.
Then Will's favourite duo became a trio, Jay unsurprisingly becoming a staple in their lives. Will didn't see any reason to change this dynamic when everyone was happy.
But then he met a few women who changed some things.
Natalie was the first to some degree. There were feelings on both sides but she had a newborn son and a mother-in-law who didn't like him for some reason. Their kiss was a 'mistake' and so he moved on.
Nina was his first official girlfriend since moving back and his hesitancy to get back into the dating scene was as clear as day. So they took it as slow as necessary.
Will was scared. He liked Nina relatively and they were at a point where he was comfortable enough to introduce her to Faith but the lingering fear of abandonment remained. He didn't want to introduce a female and a possible maternal figure into her life just for them to leave.
Luckily, Faith was just touching five when they broke up and he finally got with Natalie.
Those two to three years could be described as near bliss.
He loved Natalie and to see how she took Faith in with open arms, he could've cried on the spot right then. And she was the perfect older sister to Owen, three years her younger, getting along as though they were blood related siblings and being as thick as thieves.
"Hey bubbles." Will called out. His nerves radiating as he sat down besides his daughter on the floor with her toys splayed out on the carpet.
"How would you feel about papa and Natalie getting married?" He asked, apprehension lacing his words. Marriage and having a mother were topics Will often breached with Faith but it had never got this serious and he'd never do anything to this degree without having Faith's permission.
But the second her brown eyes lit up as bright as the stars in the sky, Will felt like everything was finally coming together and for once, he could give his daughter everything she wanted and deserved.
Faith was seven when everything came tumbling down.
She'd been with the bridal party when everything unfolded. She tried remaining naive to the nerves of the bride who she had yet to start calling mum. She tried remaining oblivious at the church when her dad hadn't shown up yet but she sobbed her little heart out when Will was dragged away from her into witness protection.
For the first time in her life, Faith didn't have her dad and she didn't know what to do with herself. Nothing made sense to her, living in a house with Natalie and Owen but not her papa.
When uncle Jay Jay brought him back though, Faith's world was glued back together again, she could finally breathe and for a second everything went back to normal and she thought they'd get the happy ending they deserved.
But then Natalie, the only motherly figure she had besides Maggie, broke up with Will and wouldn't let the duo back into her life.
That was the first ever heartbreak Faith experienced and somewhere deep down, she wasn't sure she was ever going to forgive Natalie for putting her and her papa through such pain like they hadn't been through so much already.
Her newly turned hatred was made apparent. Once the father and daughter moved out, whenever Faith found herself visiting the ED, she actively tried avoiding the woman and if they happened to stumble upon each other, Faith would send the hardest glare a seven-year-old could muster and not even a hi was exchanged.
Natalie's hurt didn't make Faith feel too guilty. She only felt a little bad when Will gently scolded her for being so cold to the woman who was supposed to be her mother once upon a time.
Faith was eight when she was introduced to Hannah. Ever since Natalie, Will had been more hesitant than ever to get into a relationship. The pain Faith went through post breaking up with Natalie had been long lasting and the thought of that happening again deterred Will from the dating scene.
But surprisingly, Faith was the first to propose he go forth with whatever his feelings for Hannah were. Somewhere deep down, apparently, Faith had a soft spot for the OBGYN that gave Will the confidence to move forward.
However, fast forward one year and no disrespect towards Hannah, but if Will could go back in time, he would've changed things.
Will could never forget the events that unfolded that night.
He was coming back from work, you were with Hannah at her apartment, spending the night together which made Will feel some sort of way knowing how well the two were getting along.
The apartment was pin drop silent when he entered which was surprising since it was a weekend and Faith always begged with her puppy eyes to stay up, Hannah could never resist them.
Just as he was taking his jacket off, he heard a familiar cry that caused the hair on his arms to stand on end, his head snapping up at the sound.
Will moved faster than he ever did before, taking large strides towards the distressing cries he barely heard from his little girl as she got older.
"Bubbles, what's-" Will cut himself off as he rounded the corner and caught himself in the bathroom doorway, gripping the doorframe so he wouldn't trip from how fast he was moving.
"Papa!" Faith's voice cracked as she cried. The second she saw her father; she scrambled up from where she was sat on her knees on the ground. "I w- I was just going to brush my teeth when I heard a bang and, and I found her..."
Faith sobbed into her father’s shirt, back turned to the unconscious woman on the floor, her face pushing into his torso as though she could burn away the image from her mind but she had seen enough.
Will immediately switched back on. "Bubbles, listen to me. I need you to go into her room and get that big bag that papa has at home and bring it. Can you do that for me Faith?"
Faith hiccupped, rubbing her red eyes as she nodded up at her dad. Will pressed a quick kiss onto her temple before watching her scramble out the bathroom allowing him to give all his attention to his girlfriend.
It was safe to say, that night did quite a number on Faith and Will found himself taking the blame.
Now in present time, Will hadn't dated anyone since Hannah. He talked to a few women at work and if things had been so much more simpler, something could've happened but then everything flashed before his eyes and he stopped himself.
Faith was eleven now and she was still the sole focus of his life besides work. He could never forgive himself for what he put her through with the women he tried bringing into their lives only for it to never work out.
In the end though, when all was done it seemed that just the two of them survived and thrived perfectly alone.
When Faith first came into Will's life, it was just the two of them battling alone together in a world neither could navigate and eleven years later, it was a little easier but there was still so much Will wished he could get rid of just for her sake.
The sound of the car door opening broke him out of his thoughts, his head turning as he smiled at his dishevelled daughter.
"Hey, how was school?" Will asked, softly smiling at her messy braid, tucking back the fly away hairs behind her ears before pulling away from the school.
Faith hummed, fiddling with her beaded bracelet. "Was good, I have a permission slip you need to sign."
"I'll do it tonight after work, make sure to remind me." Will told her as he started driving towards his brothers and sisters-in-law’s place. Despite his failing love life, his younger brother managed to settle down and Hailey loved Faith despite the short amount of time she knew her.
"Papa-" Faith stumbled over her words, picking the skin around her nails as she tried to form her question. "Um, are you happy?"
Will was caught off guard. His eyes widened a little as he took one hand off the wheel to stop Faith from picking her skin, his tutting making her stop instantly.
"What? Why would you ask that bubbles? Of course I am, I'm more than happy." Will answered confidently, looking at her at a red light to try understand what was going through her mind.
"Why? What happened at school?" Will's tone changed at the thought of someone saying something bad to his little girl.
"No! No! It was nothing like that I promise!" Faith hastily answered before her dad could turn the car back around to give the school a piece of his mind.
"It's just, you haven't gone on a date since Hannah..." Faith licked her lips nervously as she brought up Will's ex who didn't have the best lasting effects on them. "Is it because of me?"
"Of course not. Why would you think that?" Will asked her calmly, completely confused as to why she was thinking in such a way. "I promise you bubbles that I'm happy. You're all I need Faith."
While he drove, Will took a quick glance over to his right and found himself smiling at the adorable face Faith was making. Her eyes squinted from how hard she was smiling to herself at her father's comment.
"C'mere you little gremlin." Will said, welcoming how fast she got up from her seat to be enveloped into his arms. Squeezing as tight as he could, Will made sure not to suffocate her before pressing a kiss onto her hairline.
"Alright, love you lots. Have fun-"
"But not too much fun. I'll keep Uncle Jay in line." Faith rolled her eyes, already knowing what her dad was going to say since he'd been saying the same thing all her life.
Watching his not so baby girl run out the car and towards her uncle's home, Will felt his heart flutter, his chest all warm.
Yeah, he's made some questionable decisions regarding his love life but there was not one mistake made when it came to Faith. When everything came tumbling down, she was all that mattered and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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serenefify · 2 months
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Synopsis: Years had passed since you successfully nullified all contracts and left Hell behind. Now, living a decent of a normal life once more, you found yourself returning to your cozy abode after another long day of work.
{{What in 'hell' is bad?}} Pair: Kings/You
{{Potential}} Trigger Warning: Religious/Biblical reference, Vague mention of obsession/possessiveness, OOC
🎗️Author's note: Sorry for the lack of post lately.
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Entering your room, you carelessly tossed your belongings to the side before slumping down onto your bed. With a heavy sigh, you felt an exhaustion wash over you as your eyelids growing heavy with fatigue. Just as you were about to succumb to sleep, a strange scent tickled your nostrils, jolting you awake.
Your gaze landed on a card—no, a letter, sitting on your table but, who could it be from?
Would you dare to read it?
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Satan:
A crimson card, adorned with a delicate white ribbon wrapped around it, secured by small horn-shaped stickers attached to the front. It wasn't overly extravagant, yet it certainly wasn't ordinary either; it sit somewhere in between. Nestled beside the card was a photo.
Hey [[Name]],
So, I figured I'd drop you a letter. Not sure what I'm gonna ramble about, but hey, why not, right?
Anyway, let's cut the crap. Since your bailed on Hell, things have been kinda messy around here. Not like "oh no, angels are attacking us again" messy, but more like... weird, you know?
I swung by Avisos the other day, and on the surface, everything seemed chill. People still living it up, having a blast. But there's this underlying gloominess, you know? Like something's off. Haven't heard anything from their kings, either. Same deal with Tartaros. Usually, those devils are all about flaunting their stuff, strutting around Gehenna like they own the place. But lately, they've been keeping to themselves, especially Mammon. That bastard practically isolated himself these days.
And speaking of isolation, that wet blanket is even more distant than usual. Him and his people are getting pretty hostile towards outsiders. Rumor has it they've even closed off their gate to visitors. Paradise Lost is living up to its name, with Lucifer being more of a hardass than ever. Heard him muttering under his breath a lot, the past meeting with him..
Anyway, not much else to report. I don't exactly have a habit of letter-writing, y'know?
So, how's life treating you up there on Earth? I know your time in Hell wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but I hope you're finding something to kill your time. If not with us, then at least enjoy the grub and swag they're hooking you up with.
Alright, that's all I got. Hope you haven't chucked this letter in the trash yet.
Catch you later,
Satan
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Mammon:
A golden card, lavishly adorned with shimmering ornaments adorning its edges. Crafted from crisp, molten gold-hued paper. A delicate ribbon, flush with golden dust, cascades from its side, leaving a trail of particles with each brush against your skin. Nestled beside the card lies an open box of jewels.
My Esteemed Master,
Since your departure from Hell, I have found myself rather... what is the word I am searching for? Ah, yes, lonely. These past days, or perhaps decades. It almost felt like mere moments since you left for the human world.
I pen this letter because I find myself truly missing your presence, Master. Though you made your intentions clear from the start, and I fully understood them, your absence has left a void within me. Is the wealth not sufficient? Does the structure of my domain not meet your expectations? Or perhaps I have failed to fully satisfy you? At times, a thought plagued at the back of my mind—to carve your name into my flesh, to signify that I'm truly yours.
But- Forgive me for indulging in such thoughts, Master. I fear I may have become too forward. I simply cannot help but express the depth of my longing for you.
The time you spent here in Tartaros, though brief, was among the most enjoyable moments of my existence. I must confess, I have never felt such attachment to another being. Not even Solomon grow such sentiments from me. There is something about you that captivates me unlike any other. I vividly recall your first arrival in Tartaros; it was then that I knew you were a being worthy of becoming the master of the Monarch of Tartaros.
My apologies for my ramblings, Master. I found myself yearning to write more, but I restrained myself, knowing your preference for brevity. Nevertheless, I implore you to consider my words and understand that you are sorely missed here in Tartaros.
Yours faithfully,
Mammon
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