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#learned my lesson real fast but it still disappoints me
ash-arts-but-sinful · 7 months
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This is burning a hole into my brain, but what if new game+ gave you the option to summon Carlo instead of Specter and he offers stupid/witty commentary for each boss you fight with him. Tbh this is just for fun, but I wanted to share in case anybody else might like it
Might have to put this one under a cut it could get long. Also spoiler warning!
Scrapped Watchman
• I never liked cops, this is going to be fun!
• Do we really need a watchman this big?
• Okay Sparky, let’s dance!
• (if he gets picked up) Shit-! -> Ugh- okay that might’ve hurt a little.
• Haha! Good riddance! Don’t know what the local kids saw in that thing.
King’s Flame
• Oh boy, a walking furnace.
• Have I ever mentioned I hate the heat?
• The floor is lava! Shit!
• (if he’s set on fire) I know I’m hot, but this is ridiculous! / Hot! Too hot!
• Sigh, thank god. I could never work alongside that… thing.
Archbishop
• Oh wow, that is… hard to look at.
• Watch the chicken legs!
• Really?! With its tongue?! Disgusting!
During phase 2
• How did he manage to get even uglier?
• You should’ve stayed in your shell!
• God chose you to be an Angel alright. Just not a living one.
Black Rabbit Brotherhood
• Some rabbit, the big guy looks more like a pig to me!
• Would somebody shut her up!
• Half of you aren’t even rabbits! That stupid bucket looks like a dog!
• You are too full of yourself, bunny boy.
• These guys need better fursuits
• Pathetic… And don’t bother coming back!
King of Puppets
• Something feels wrong about this.
• That voice…
• No… It can’t be-!
Second phase
• Romeo?!
• Romeo please! Why won’t you stop, it’s me!
• How do we get through to him?!
• No!!! UGH Why wouldn’t you LISTEN?! *shakey inhale* Damn it, just go! Get out of this damn place.
Victor
• What do you want? Are we killing my best friend in disguise again?
• I finally get to see this guy in action and I’m the one who has to fight him! Seriously?!
• This guy really is all washed up.
• That can’t be good for you.
• Yikes, those fists pack one hell of a punch!
• That Simon guy is a real piece of work. Good luck with that.
Green Monster
• Ohh this thing looks disgusting.
• It sounds disgusting too, I think I’m going hurl!
• It slimed me!
Phase 2
• Not the giant cop again!
• Would you! Just! Sit! Still!
• I can only imagine what it smells like in that puppet chassis.
• That was truly vile. If you ever need help fighting a giant slime monster again PLEASE hesitate to ask.
Black Rabbit Brotherhood 2
• Didn’t you learn your lessons last time?
• Lord, are these guys full of themselves.
• If you couldn’t beat us last time what makes you think you can this time?
• Looks like the pig wants his bacon cooked again!
• You had to mutate yourself because you wouldn’t beat us last time? Now THAT is pathetic.
• Still losers. Still pretentious. Still pathetic. How disappointing.
Laxasia
• Hmm. Big sword.
• Oh and it makes lightning too, great!
• How can she move so fast with all that armour!?
Phase 2
• Ohhhh good, now she’s even faster!
• Weakness to it or not electricity still hurts like hell!
• There she goes into the air again. Coward!
• Well that wasn’t fun, but I suspect it’ll be even less fun in that tower.
Simon
• Isn’t that the guy from the exhibition?
• This guy is a real piece of work.
• And I thought the rabbits were full of themselves!
Phase 2
• I didn’t think it could get any worse!
• Who needs this many hands?!
• God or not this guy is going down!
• The last like after Simon is defeated depends on your playthrough: Truth “Until next we meet. Which will be sooner than you think, I can’t wait.” Punctuated by a dark chuckle. Lie “I’ll see you again soon. For what it’s worth though… I’m sorry.”
Bonus: depending on what playthrough you did the Nameless Puppet will actually talk and have different dialogue
Truth playthrough/Lie playthrough
• I’ve been waiting for this for too damn long. / I didn’t want it to come to this.
• You don’t deserve that heart! It’s rightfully mine! / Please, you have to understand! I need that heart!
• You stupid puppet, I hope you didn’t think father actually cared about YOU! / Gepetto never cared for you, I wish he had, at least you could’ve known love.
• Why won’t you DIE ALREADY!? / I deserve to live too, this isn’t fair for either of us!
• You will NEVER be me, just give up already! / You may not be me, but you deserve better than this.
During Phase 2 the puppet won’t speak, but Carlo’s dialogue will be inserted along everyone else’s, tbh I want to have him say something during phase 2, but there’s already so much going on during that fight. In a truth playthrough the ending will play out as normal and Gepetto will die, calling Pinocchio a useless puppet, Pinocchio will be the one to finish off Carlo’s vessel. In a lie playthrough Carlo will finally be able to control his actions and is unable to finish off Pinocchio, he shuts himself down while giving one final line.
“Maybe in another life we could have been… brothers.”
Gepetto is distraught and instead of shedding tears for his father Pinocchio sheds them for Carlo
A lot of his radient dialogue would consist of laughter that borders on unhinged and the usual exertion and damage taking grunts. Regardless of what playthrough you do he wants to keep either his heart or Pinocchio alive, so if his health falls below half he has a chance of reminding you to heal. Also depending on the playthrough he’ll either compliment perfect blocks, parry’s, dodges or hits for lies and for truths he’ll be a snarky asshole, claiming he could do just as good if not better
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whatisthatmae · 1 year
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Neteyam x Vitiligo Metkayina! Reader
Part 1
Authors note: my second post!! Hopefully this doesn’t disappoint! Enjoy!
Pronouns: She/Her
Y/n pov
I was on my way to hunt some fish to eat for dinner when I heard someone blowing the horn for some odd reason. I got up from where I was and then I see people rushing to see what had arrived at our shores. I stop what I’m doing and go see what the commotion is all about. Once I got there I see my parents, Ronal & Tonowari, and my siblings Tsireya & Ao’nung. I had skipped my way over to where all the people from my clan were, swinging my tail a bit side to side,only to see some new comers. They looked like they were from the Omatikaya clan from the forest.
My siblings were beside my parents by the time I arrived. I skimmed my gaze over the new comers only to see what looks like to be their eldest son looking my way. I look at him a bit confused, mostly because he was just..staring at me. Either way I at least tried to give him a small smile. I don’t really like new comers, or anything new that comes to our clan. My attitude is similar to my mothers so at first I don’t really like them,but I at least have some heart to be nice..unlike her.
She had been looking over these new people with a judging look on her face. Even though I wasn’t the one she was looking at, it made me nervous. Her whole gaze, just makes me nervous. My mother, and the boys mother started growling at each other when my mom got to close to what seems like the other woman’s mate I assume. Toruk Maktou has apologized for the woman’s behavior, blaming it on the flight on the way here.
After a while of talking, my father declared that me and my siblings will help the new family learn our ways. I was not really happy about it because I have better things to do, I am the second eldest child in our family. I am training under my mother to become the next Tsahík. “Father, you do know I have other things to do, correct?” I said with a scowl on my face. Me and my father have butt heads a lot ever since I’ve gotten older. “It had already been decided.” He said sternly.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him. I told my sister Tsireya to hurry up so we can get this over with. We showed the family to their Marui & I felt the older brothers gaze on me again. I don’t know what exactly he’s looking at me for though. Maybe it’s because my skin is sort of different? I don’t know. But I try to ignore it the best I could until the day was over. After a while their parents went with mine to go learn elsewhere, while me & my sister teach their children.
———————————————————-
After their lesson I tried to leave as fast as I could. I honestly like to keep to myself, it just feels better that way to be alone. When I was on the shore I felt someone tap my shoulder for a moment. I turn around & guess who it was. Yup, the older brother who I still don’t know the name of. “ Yes? Do you need something before I leave?” I asked, being as polite as I could. “Yes actually.” He said, I raised and eyebrow for him to continue. “Could you tell me your name? I’d at least like to know the name of the person I’m learning from.” He asked. I sighed and told him what he asked for. “ My name is ____” I said back to him.
“I was wondering if you would like to be friends? The other people I’ve met here are being… should I say, rude?” I hum in acknowledgement and nod my head. “Yes, that’ll be fine, I guess. I really must get going though. My mother would be furious if I’m late.” I said in a hurry. “Oh, we’ll I’ll see you around then?” He asked curiously. “ Yes, you will. Goodbye!” I tried to put a smile on my face that looked at least a bit real. “Bye!” He said back.
———————————————————
It’s been a few weeks since the Sully’s have showed up on our island. Me and Neteyam have been getting to know each other better, and it’s been working. I’ve been opening up to him about this recently, like how I’ve been so stressed to keep up with my mothers expectations. He relates to my struggles too, which makes me feel better to say the least.
Neteyam has been getting better at his lessons too. I’ve taught him very well since he’s learned in such fast time. I’ve taught him every ting I know from riding an ilu, to hunting. I don’t really know what else to do when we “hang out” anymore…if you can even call it that. He says the we “ should hang out outside of the lessons” since their is nothing else that I can teach him.
Neteyam’s pov
Recently, I’ve been hanging out with ____ a lot. I’ve been making excuses to hangout with them or even just for the simplest things. Lo’ak is thinking that I like her, and I’m starting to see it. ____ is very mysterious, and interesting. She doesn’t really like to be out much with other people, and she has this fierce type attitude. Sort of similar to her mothers, just more..dialed back.
Today I made ____ a gift. It’s a bracelet from the shells from the shore that tuk and I found a few days ago. “Who is that for?” Lo’ak asked. “It’s none of your business, Lo’ak” I rolled my eyes at him while walking towards the place where me and ____ are supposed to meet. “ Its fine, I have a pretty good guess on who it’s for” he said. I huffed and kept waking. “Look big bro, someone’s gonna snatch ____ up and take her one day . Might as well and confess soon.” He said. “And why do you say that?” I asked. “ One of her brothers friends mentioned that he had a crush on her yesterday. So I suggest you hurry up and do it while you have the chance.”he shrugged his shoulders and walked away. I sighed and just kept walking until I see ____.
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anogete · 8 months
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Oh my goodness
Hello to anyone who remembers me. Real life and mental health both sank their claws into me. I've been avoiding social media because... well, many reasons but most because I feel like I'm a big ol' disappointment.
But today, I've come here like the humble whore I am to ask for a beta. Before you get excited, I have to warn you that it's not for Marvel, which (if you remember me) is what you likely know me for writing. Read on for an explanation about where the fuck I've been and what fandom I've spiraled down into lately.
In 2019-2020, I had a lot of grieving to do for some close loved ones who passed on. This led to a really shitty space for my mental health where I went into a functioning depression. I was doing things, but only the bare minimum required to exist without people catching on that I was in a bad mental space. I can't say I've completely kicked that, but I'm trying to do better. At the same time, I had a bunch of stuff going on a work. Specifically, I work for a team of advisors who provide financial planning services to individuals/families. I was promoted to an associate in 2020 and then we went through a merger with a larger firm in 2022. So, work has been crazy with me taking on additional responsibilities and working to build new processes after the merger. In addition, I managed to finish my bachelor's (20 years after I dropped out of college!) and take classes toward getting a CFP designation over the past 2 years. I'm scheduled to take the CFP exam in November. It's a 6-hour bear of a test covering pretty much all aspects of personal financial planning. And then next year I'll be continuing with my team as an advisor myself. Do I have anxiety? Fuck, yes. But I'm trying to stop cockblocking myself on the career front.
ANYWAY, enough with the boring stuff. I've been drowning in material for classes and studies with so little fun in my life. Somehow I got on CODTok (Call of Duty) and my little imagination ran wild as I watched these absolutely filthy edits of those boys. And for the first time in a long time, I felt that itch to write. I really should be focusing on studying for this exam, but all work and no play isn't fun. It's taken me 3 years to learn that lesson, but it has managed to finally sink into my thick skull.
My problem is that I know virtually nothing about Call of Duty because I don't like video games. As for the characters--I only know minimal info (mostly from YouTube videos and a COD wiki). It would be nice to have someone more knowledgeable than me to look over what I've written. And if not that, then it would be nice to have anyone other than me give it a beta read to point out my stupid mistakes or plot holes. I have about 16 pages of a Ghost/OFC written. It's my usual--heavy on the dialogue and sexual tension with a side of plot/action. I don't know how fast I'll be at writing this. Work is kicking my ass and I still need to dedicate my weekends to studying for this test. But if you're willing to take a little ride with me, I'd love some input. Send me a message or email me at [email protected] if you're interested. I miss and love ya'll.
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shesthespinstersimmer · 6 months
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Catching up with #weird & wonderful
lo & princess + sugar - hope their activities don't complicate things. she says it's closure, but does she mean it? sugar really called her on it. princess claims they're grown, but she's not acting like she's learned any lessons.
I've been wanting to ask how "tlalli" is pronounced. is it like the "tl" at the end of axolotl and quetzalcoatl which kind of sounds like there's a "u" between them or like the "tl" in the middle of tenochtitlán which sounds more like the "t" and "l" are fused together? I was thinking it was the latter pronunciation because it's also followed by a vowel sound, but I figured it be better to ask to be certain.
ortega - I thought this before but they seemed so bitter about something and it couldn't have just been that myra refused their help or called them out on their fraternizing. but come to find out! okaaaaaay? I can't see anything but things getting messy. also, that last shot, was that just a shot or was someone watching…? I guess we'll see…
tito & lydia - I still think they fell into it too quickly, but I have to respect tito for recognizing an opportunity to advance his position when it comes and I have to respect lydia for having the will to move on with life even when she still feels shackled. since her not having a whole lot of me-time between sauce and tito is still a concern for me, it makes me happy to see that tito is helping her focus on what she wants and giving her opportunities to voice those things. also, "yes, my love" and "yes, mi esposa/my wife" AHHHHH!
isamar - "he prefers to breed children. all over the worlds." she's so real for that! I was approaching a coughing fit!
carmen - I love the way he just laid it out. I don't think it called for any kind of delicacy, like, being plain-spoken about it is part of the positive outlook.
es & lupe - Yay! love their reunion. I feel like you can tell lupe comes from a family that's open about what's going on with them, but that it was something they had to work on across generations and now that deliberate effort is bearing fruit across those generations as well. es and lupe's communication is very straightforward, but not in a been their done that kind of way. it's more like they don't want to waste time hemming and hawing knowing fully well how quickly things in life can change.
judith + arlo - really delivering on that long-time friend vibe
it was such a treat to get caught up. there are so many threads in the story, but your pacing is such that I can see the fabric being woven carefully and I don't think there's a stray thread to be found. it's always disappointing when I come across a story with a good premise and engaging cast, but it's hard to follow or make the connections. pleased to be able to say I don't have that issue here.
You're on a roll today, friend! Let's get into it!
lo & princess + sugar - Princess likes to act like she doesn't have feelings; that's why she asked Sugar to hold her accountable. Problem is, Lo likes to play that game too, which is precisely why they shouldn't be together. I think Princess is in over her head.
Tlalli: You second guess was right - the "tl" sounds more like the "t" and "l" are fused together? (So glad you asked - I'd considered writing in phonetically, but I wasn't sure 😊)
As for Det. Ortega? You'll be learning a bit more about her and Myra soon, but I will say this - the detective needs to slow her roll. She knows all about Fernanda and has known for a long time. But she's confusing sex that came out of loneliness and Myra's misguided attempt to keep someone she thought was innocent safe.
Tito & Lydia - I remember you thinking they fell into things too quickly, but I'm still conflicted. They loved each other for years, so I suppose to them it's more of a continuation than jumping into a relationship too fast. For them, they're just coming home. 😭😭But I do agree - it's always best to take time to yourself to heal before you start something else. I think they both feel like they've already lost so much time...
Also, "yes, my love" and "yes, mi esposa/my wife" AHHHHH! 🖤💖🖤
Isamar - "he prefers to breed children. all over the worlds." she's so real for that! I was approaching a coughing fit! 😂(I feel her pain)
Carmen - Carmen will always keep it real, that's for sure lmao
Es & Lupe - Interestingly enough, Lupe learned the most about communication from her tia Conne; as her mother Fernanda is incredibly closed off.
Happily, Es and Lupe's are intensely open with each other - I think it's part of their love language; feeling that sharing their thoughts and feelings bring them closer together.
This part: " it's more like they don't want to waste time hemming and hawing knowing fully well how quickly things in life can change." Very well put!
Judith + Arlo - I'm sooo glad they have each other 🖤
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read my stories - as a writer, it's hard to know how your stuff will be received. I like to fan out and explore how events affect all my characters - and how I don't lose anyone in the process. So it makes me to happy to see someone enjoying the journey! 🖤🤘🏾
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forestcat000 · 1 year
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Gene x Sasha x Zenix X Zane Incorrect Quotes
i was bored and wanted to make for one of my Favorite ships
Gene: You know those things will kill you, right? Zenix, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point. Sasha, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process. Zane: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Gene: Shit. Zenix: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Sasha: OH MY GOD ZANE FELL OFF!!!
Gene: Dammit, Zenix! Zenix: What?! It wasn’t me! Gene: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sasha! Sasha: Not me either. Gene: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Zane: *whistles*
[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake] Gene: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake Zenix: You're in a prison cell :) Sasha: You did great. Well, I got a 10- Zenix: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3 Zane: I got a 1! Zenix: You're in... a cube-shaped place.
Gene: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Zenix: I don’t know how to do that. Sasha: I don’t wear a watch. Zane: Time is a construct.
Gene: *Gently taps table* Zenix: *Taps back* Sasha: What are they doing? Zane: Morse code. Gene: *Aggressively taps table* Zenix: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
Gene: I think we're missing something. Zenix: Teamwork? Sasha: Cohesion? Zane: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Gene: How did none of you hear what I just said? Zenix: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Sasha: I got distracted about halfway through. Zane: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Gene: Can I be frank with you guys? Zenix: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Sasha: Can I still be Sasha? Zane: Shh, let Frank speak.
Gene: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Zenix: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Sasha: I personally was created in a lab. Zane: I just straight up spawned lol.
Gene: *Screams* Zenix: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Sasha: Should we do something? Zane: No, I want to see who wins.
Gene: Tonight, one of you will betray us. Zenix: Is it me, Gene? Gene: No, it’s not you. Sasha: Is it me, Gene? Gene: It’s not you either. Zane: Is it me, Gene? Gene: Gene, mockingly: Is IT mE Gene?
Gene: Zenix isn’t answering their phone Sasha: I’ll call Gene: Zane and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Zenix: Hello?
Gene: Why are your tongues purple? Sasha: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Zane: I had a red one. Gene: oh Gene: Gene: OH Zenix: Zenix: You drank each other's slushies?
Gene: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Zenix: Sasha: Zane: Everyone Else At Gene’s Surprise Birthday Party: Zenix: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
Gene: What are your goals? Zenix: To pet all the dogs. Gene: No, fitness goals. Zenix: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs
Gene: Where are you going? Zenix: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
Gene: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Zenix, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Gene: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Sasha: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Gene: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
Gene: Three words. Say them and I'm yours. Sasha: Three words. Gene:
Gene: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Sasha: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Gene, desperately, as Sasha bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sasha: Oh! B positive. Gene: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sasha:
Gene: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Zane: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
Gene: Zane... Zane: Oh no, 'Zane' in b-flat. Zane: You're disappointed.
Gene: Violence isn't the answer. Zane: You’re right. Gene: *sighs in relief* Zane: Violence is the question. Gene: What? Zane, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Gene, running after them: NO-
Zane, talking to Zenix on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Zenix: You bet! Zane: At what temperature? Zenix: 535. Zane: That's the clock. Zenix: Zane: Zenix: 536.
Zane: Zenix was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Zenix: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Zane: Zenix, you ate a chair.
Zane: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Zenix: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Zane: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
Zane: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? sasha: You mean literally or figuratively? Zane: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Zane: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! sasha: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Zane: You often use humor to deflect trauma sasha: Thank you Zane: I didn't say that was a good thing sasha: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
Sasha: I was thinking I'd do some magic- Zenix: You? Magic? Sasha, it says talent show.
Sasha: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Zenix: *chugs entire bottle* Zenix: It’s perfume.
Sasha: It’s dark in here Zenix: Don’t worry dude I got this Zenix: *Stomps their feet* Zenix: *Skechers light up*
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s1ep12 gamer (the real ep12 according to the creator; i was looking at the wrong list before lol)
this one was actually decent. the pacing felt good. the characters didn't feel like they were speaking at 2x the speed. but of course, i still have my criticisms.
i mean it's really the same old song and dance at this point. we're like 4 episodes away now from the end of s1 and there's really nothing new to complain about.
i do love that they decided to make max weirdly muscular but only in his abdominal area. that was very funny and a little uncanny.
i will say, i do have a very episode-specific critique tho and it's the fact that marinette has to learn another lesson and the way the writers go about it. bc this is very much an adrienette episode. but my criticisms from before still stand: they completely talk past each other and don't listen to each other.
but 1) tikki scolding marinette for beating max out after the tournament. what bothered me about that was that tikki is absolutely right, max has been working hard to compete and marinette shouldn't have taken that away from him, necessarily, just bc she wanted to be partnered with adrien. like does she think her nerves are going to go away suddenly and she'll be able to compete without messing things up? but more importantly, what i really didn't like was the heel-face turn tikki did when marinette realized she had to take all her pictures of adrien down before he went over to her house. and tikki acts like that was the real reason she scolded marinette. like honestly? there's nothing wrong with marinette taking max's spot. and there's nothing wrong with max being really disappointed about it esp if he put in all that work to get there. and it would've been fine if marinette had done it for selfish reasons and then lost the tournament bc she was too flustered to be around adrien or too focused on adrien to focus on the game. that would've made more sense as a lesson for her. but no, instead we get a lukewarm plot device to akumatize max and marinette learns nothing. like do i want the narrative to constantly punish her? no, that's bad writing. but so is not following-through on your own narrative when she does need to learn a lesson. there's no character growth!!
2) adrien complaining about being bad at the game and marinette being much better. the scene just irks me bc like, it feels so forced from the writers. oh boo hoo the rich white boy is bad at video games. and the fact that marinette likes him so much she insults herself when it's clear she is better than him is so annoying.
3) this is an old complaint but i'm making it again: them knowing things they shouldn't know and it would be suspicious if they did. when chat noir rescues marinette from max, he comments that he heard she'd beaten him in a tournament. how would he know that???!!! UNLESS HE WAS THERE!!! if marinette had been in ladybug mode, that would've been a dead giveaway that chat noir was one of her classmates. like i highly doubt if chat noir really was just another random parisian citizen the gossip about a small high school game tournament would've gotten out that fast, or at all.
4) also another old complaint that i'm making again: chat noir's cataclysm being utterly useless. like why even try anymore? where is the creativity? why couldn't they have spent 10 seconds longer working on the logistics of the akuma fight to make sure the chat noir's power actually went somewhere? or better yet, if they're having so much trouble, they really should've just went back to the drawing board and figured out a different power for him.
yknow i think this is just a symptom of the bigger problem the creator has and it's casual racism toward e. asian people (and, honestly, just all asian people given the "kingdom of achoo") and his simultaneous fascination with oriental mysticism. bc ladybug and chat noir are supposed to represent yin and yang, and balance, creation and destruction. and they try to make it seem like it's balanced by having ladybug be really smart and competent while marinette has extremely bad luck. and adrien is rich and white i guess, but chat noir is,,,idk too flirty and irresponsible even tho it's implied that master fu gave him the ring to give him freedom in his stifled life. i honestly don't see the balance there. but i digress.
what i'm trying to get at is the creator has no idea what he's fucking talking about bc he's too racist to actually take care in learning about yin and yang, and what they mean/represent in the religious practices throughout asia. but specifically in china, since marinette is half-chinese and the miracle box has roots in ancient china.
if he actually enjoyed learning about chinese culture, i think he would've had a better understanding of what yin and yang represent, and thus had a better idea on how to balance ladybug and chat noir. instead of a weird and contrived: ladybug is perfect but marinette has constant bad luck and. whatever the hell is going on in adrien's perfect life.
5) i just remembered that i wanted to also talk about how terrible the set up for adrien/chat noir and gabriel/hawk moth is. like it's just convenient that adrien's dad is a reclusive and very disagreeable man, isn't it. i'm surprised the fandom didn't figure out he was hawkmoth sooner. also the fact that he's shown as extremely overbearing towards his son while at the same time neglecting to keep track of him at all when he's hawkmoth. like he would've never let adrien go over to marinette's for a silly game tournament! i feel like if he'd actually been paying attention, gabriel would've been able to figure out his son was chat noir in a heartbeat.
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Let's Talk About It: Relationships to Sex
Part A
Growing up, sex was not a topic that was often talked about. My mom is a nurse, so by fifth grade, we (me and my siblings) were aware of the "birds and the bees." Other than that, however, we were very sheltered. There was no watching ANYTHING with sexual content in my house. We could watch movies that were rated R for violence, but if it even hinted at something sexual, then you better believe Kellie and Rob were turning it off. It was always something that was made out to be looked at as "gross" and "bad." Even during intense kissing, they would cover our eyes. Like, be soooooooo for real! Looking back, that was just because they didn't want us to partake in those sorts of activities. But with social media being so prevalent, it's not like we just weren't going to see it at all.
Part B
By seventh grade, it was time for me to take Sex Ed. We learned close to nothing in that course. All that was talked about, for the most part, was diseases that can be transferred during sex. Again, on the basis that sex is "bad." There was no real discussion on how it actually worked. I feel like growing up, you really have to just teach yourself... which might sound weird, but it is a fact. I remember hearing all kinds of off-the-wall information about sex that were just not true.
Anyway, fast forward to high school. I went to an all-girls private Catholic school. I think that's all you really need to know. Just kidding, but you get my gist. SEX WAS A NO-NO! Condoms? That's a sin. Birth-control? That's a sin. Sex with no intent on getting pregnant? That's a sin. The only exception is being married with the intent of getting pregnant. Since none of us high school girls were married or looking to have children anytime soon, then none of us should be having sex. That was the lesson. If you can understand that, then there was nothing else to it. Of course, none of us believed that, except for the few futures "church ladies," but it was still drilled into our mines.
Part C
Now, when it came to "pleasure" from sex, I always translated that to "male pleasure." Why? Um... because that was all that was talked about (most girls, I'm sure, understand what I am talking about). However, with Tik Tok becoming popular as I was exiting middle school, I was not... experienced and just believed what I read on there. There was always disappointment coming from the women's perspective when discussing experiences. It seemed like either a painful or flat-out boring experience. This narrative definitely drew me away from the idea of having sex. I know now that shouldn't be the case. There's no way that you should not be experiencing pleasure (especially in relationships). That goes for all relations: gay, straight, whatever. If you aren't made to be a priority, then say "good riddance" and dip! That's my advice.
-Olivia Simpson
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gduncan969 · 1 year
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Dealing With Disappointments and Tragedies
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Job 13:15: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him..”
If there was ever anyone with a right to complain about his lot in life, surely, it was Job.  In one day He lost all his sons and daughters, his oxen, his donkeys, his sheep, his camels and all but four of his many servants.  Next, he lost his health and was covered from head to foot in painful boils that he tried to scrape off with a piece of broken pottery—ouch!  What a mess he was in! One moment he was the poster-child for how to live a successful Godly life and the next he was the epitome of a devastated, despairing man.  Topping it all off and adding insult to injury, the only thing he didn’t lose in this tragedy was his nagging wife!  In her own struggle with the tragedy, she couldn’t resist letting him know who she held responsible for the mess they were in. “Do you still hold fast to your integrity?—are you still insisting you’ve done nothing wrong?” she asked (Job 2:9).  But Job adamantly refused to admit what she and  his three comforters who were to follow concluded (and, if we’re honest, all of us are apt to conclude when tragedy strikes): behind it all there must be some terrible sin and this disaster is God’s punishment for our failures.  So, if Job wasn’t going to own up to his failure and repent of his wrong-doing, his wife let him know his best solution would be to “Curse God and die”.  If he was too stubborn to admit to whatever cardinal sin he must be guilty of, then all that was left to him was to end his life by cursing God.  Wow!, talk about kicking a man when he’s down!   All of us who have gone through deep tragedy know how easy it is to judge ourselves or others guilty even if we have no idea what we might be guilty of.  We can see no reason why this is happening to us so we cry out to Heaven for relief but all we seem to receive is silence, silence from the One who surely controls everything and surely could give us relief if only He was willing.  Why isn’t He willing?  Surely, we have confessed our sins, received His forgiveness through the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ and tried our hardest to please Him?  As His silence continues, our anger and disappointment increases while it slowly transforms into resentment against Him making us doubt His faithfulness. The lesson we have yet to learn is that tragedy for every child of God is not God’s punishment for our wrong-doing, it is God calling us into something better that we don’t yet recognize.  It requires that we trust Him completely.
What did Job think of it all?  Surely, he must have screamed at God, WHY?, Why is all this happening me? but look at how he reacts to the tragic news (Job 1:20-22):
Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped.  And he said: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there.  The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
We have to admire his tenacity to God in the midst of the darkest days of his life. He was a man who did everything he knew to honor God in everything he did; in his family, in his business and in his dealings with others.  When his children had been out partying all night, he sent after them early in the morning to check up on them and pray for them in case they had “sinned and cursed God in their hearts”.  He was a father who accepted full responsibility for his entire family, a man of great integrity and one whom God Himself said of him. “There is none like him on earth” (Job 1:8).  Now tragedy had struck full force and all he wanted from God was, not who to assign blame to, but WHY has this happened?  He knew for a certainty that God was real and in complete control of His creation, that He is by nature righteous and forgiving, so why was this happening to him when he could find nothing in himself that deserved it?  Hadn’t he spent his entire life doing everything he knew how to make sure God would be pleased with him so what possible reason could there be for him to deserve such tragedy.
The rest of the book describes Job’s plea for an answer which he eventually receives from God but it wasn’t the answer he expected.  Rather, it was one that completely humbled him and changed his understanding of who God is forever.  But first, he poured out all his complaints to  his three friends who gave him the only answers they could, all based on the premise that bad things only happen to bad people—ergo! Job must be bad.  Job rejected this outright.  No way was he willing to admit he must have done something wrong  Throughout his entire discourse with them he never once accused God because all he wanted was for God to tell him WHY this had happened.  Doubtless, we all feel the same way.  Tragedies come our way that seem so cruel and senseless yet we love and serve the Lord the best we can so surely He will at least explain to us why we are going through such a tough time.  That’s what makes his silence so deafening.  “Where are you, Lord?” our hearts cry out as we struggle to accept what has befallen us but we realize that to blame God for such things in our lives is to accuse Him and deny that He is in complete control of our lives.  Sadly, many both inside and outside the church reject God because they are angry with Him for the struggles and disappointments they have had to endure despite their urgent prayers to God for relief. The question burning in their hearts is, “Why didn’t He answer me and why didn’t He come through for me?”
How do we answer these questions both for ourselves and for others?   I heard a politician recently tell of a conversation he had in the office of a much older colleague just as he was beginning his politicial career.  He asked the older man what was needed to be successful in politics and the the older man pointed to a trophy fish mounted on his office wall and said, “See that fish?  If he had kept his mouth shut, he’d still be alive today!”  That’s a lesson we all need to learn: when trouble strikes, bite your tongue, especially if it is someone else’s tragedy you are dealing with!  Just being there and being silent is often far more needful and far more comforting than trotting out pat scripture verses that only serve to add guilt to the pain already being endured by an already troubled mind.  “If only you had more faith”, some will even say, which simply repeats what the devil has been screaming in your ears since the first moment.   As Christians we are taught that God has everything under control in our lives (and He does) but in the midst of tragic circumstances it often doesn’t feel that way and we search for reasons to make sense of it all.  Telling someone who knows the Lord and is going through a tough time “you need more faith” is a slap on the face and the best answer to such cruel advice is to say to them, “OK, if I don’t have enough faith, let’s use your faith since you are so smart and holy!” but that might be considered unkind.  Such were Job’s three comforters who spend chapter after chapter accusing him and pleading with him to admit his guilt and repent of the terrible things he must be guilty of else why would all this be happening to him.  None of them recognized that God was in the midst of all of Job’s trouble, that the devil had to get God’s permission to do what he did and that God wasn’t punishing Job for sin but revealing Himself in a way that cannot be learned except through suffering and loss.  He wanted Job to TRUST Him in his circumstances, not to demand an explanation for them.  
God’s Response to Job
So, how did God answer Job?  First of all, I have not counted all the WHY questions Job threw at his three friends and the equal number of answers they threw back at him but there are hundreds of them.  Back and forth they go over many, many chapters of the Book but Job remains unconvinced and unrepentant in his search for an answer.  Finally, beginning in Chapter 38, God speaks and what he says should drive all of us on to our knees to repeat Job’s last words.  GOD DOES NOT ANSWER ANY OF JOB’S QUESTIONS!  Rather, He simply asks Job a few of his own:
Job 38: 1 - 11 “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened? Or who laid its cornerstone, When the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for joy?
“Or who shut in the sea with doors, When it burst forth and issued from the womb; When I made the clouds its garment, And thick darkness its swaddling band; When I fixed My limit for it, And set bars and doors; When I said, ‘This far you may come, but no farther, And here your proud waves must stop!’
And God goes on for two whole chapters (38 & 39) questioning Job.  As we allow the Holy Spirit within us to ask us these same questions in the midst of all that is going on around us in these days of wars, wickedness and woke insanity that is driving many to despair and fight feelings of hopelessness, how do we answer?  As we read of how things will be before Christ’s return, the wars and rumors of wars, the plagues, the earthquakes and the great falling away of many believers, how do we stay safe in the knowledge we will survive?  How does God answer our questions in these times of trial?  He points us to who He is and asks us to TRUST HIM!  God’s questions to Job had one purpose only: to show Job just how mighty God is, how wise He is and how loving He is through all of His creation.  He faced Job with questions of such infinite depth and wisdom and magnitude that made Job realize his puny brain was incapable of receiving the answers from such an all-wise, all powerful and infinite God.  Just look at Job’s response in Job 40: 3 - 5.
Then Job answered the Lord and said: “Behold, I am vile; What shall I answer You? I lay my hand over my mouth. Once I have spoken, but I will not answer; Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further.”
And again, in Job 42: 1 - 6
Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.”
Job, and all of us, are incapable of understanding all the bad things that happen to us which is why the Lord asks us simply to TRUST Him with our lives.  If you have been struggling with your circumstances and have been tempted to complain to God about your lot, then recognize that the answers you long for are being held until you are capable of understanding them but in the meantime, learn to trust Him, know that nothing comes your way in life that first had to get permission from your heavenly Father and was meant for your good, not your harm.  May we recognize that although “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear”, I can now say, “But now my eye sees You.”  Once you’ve seen Him, you will be changed forever.
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sortasirius · 3 years
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Dean Winchester be like:
I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do.  I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism.  I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless.  I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done.  I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay.  I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be.  I break everything I touch.  All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me.  I am broken.  I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is.  I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing.  I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative? 
Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain.  I met an angel, he’s not like I thought.  He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see.  He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me.  He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes.  I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough.  My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it.  The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it.  I think I should consider him a friend.  Lucifer rises anyway. 
The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should.  I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people.  Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then.  The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it.  But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them. 
My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else.  I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure.  My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him.  I feel guilty.  We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul.  The angel is back, but he’s no real help.  I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons. 
I find out the angel has been working with our enemies.  Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes?  I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look.  I’m not sure why.  The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven.  Why does everyone leave me?  The Leviathan are out there, a new threat.  At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car.  I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain.  I feel like I’m spinning out of control.  My brother loses his mind.  The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts.  When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do. 
I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel.  We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me?  We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind.  It turns out my brother didn’t look for me.  Why am I so dispensable?  The vampire is the only one I can trust now.  I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him.  I feel like I can’t save anyone these days.  I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy?  But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him?  I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here.  My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him.  We find a place to call home.  I’ve never had my own bedroom before.  The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him.  He doesn’t answer my prayers.  He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me.  I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too.  He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again.  I wish I was lovable.  I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got.  The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright. 
My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him.  My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly.  I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother.  I feel guilty about that.  I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother.  I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him.  I use humor to hide how much I miss him.  My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me.  Well, I deserve it this time.  I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad.  I start to lose my grip on myself.  My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late.  I die in my brother’s arms.
I wake up with black eyes.  I don’t care about anyone, anything.  There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough.  My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me.  I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water.  For a while, I feel loved.  But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know.  The angel tries to stop me.  I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over.  But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel.  Death tells me I have to kill my brother.  I almost do it.  But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again.  Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.
I have this connection to this Darkness.  It scares the hell out of me.  I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it.  Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness?  Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad?  I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late?  Why would he leave me like this?  Will I ever get him back?  My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him.  I just wish I could get through to him.  Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half.  We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it?  God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness.  I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it.  The Darkness doesn’t kill me.  She thanks me.
My mother is alive.  It’s everything I’ve always wanted.  I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought.  That’s hard.  Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid.  How will we kill someone innocent?  I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to.   The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him?  We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it?  The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us.  I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away.  The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me.  Why does everyone run from me?  We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer.  He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real.  My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?
I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is...  I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back.  You owe me this, please bring him back.  He doesn’t listen.  I’m alone.  We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once.  I hate the kid, this is his fault.  I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time.  I can’t take it anymore.  Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be?  How much more can I take?  It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened.  I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there.  Maybe this time.  We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom.  I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him.  Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.
My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it.  I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it.  I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever.  I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule?  I’ll take the ocean every time.  The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words.  The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late.  My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier.  I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more.  I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger.  Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head.  God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along.  Typical.  He kills our kid.  I can’t let myself feel.
The angel tries to convince me that we’re real.  How can I believe that?  Is everything I am just a story?  Have I ever chosen anything?  Does the angel really care about me?  Do I really care about him?  Another one of our friends dies.  I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real.  I meet up with someone I loved.  He’s a monster now, I have to kill him.  He dies holding me.  I wish I was dead sometimes too.  My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God.  I’m spinning in circles.  Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again.  He gets taken from me.  I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him.  I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother.  How will I choose?  Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel.  I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me.  He must know.  He doesn’t want me, no one wants me.  Why would they?  Chuck has taken everything from me.  I have to kill him, no matter the cost.  The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death.  I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long.  I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom.  My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him.  He talks me down, he’s the only one that can.  I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage.  I take the angel and we find her, she chases us.  Another trap.  I realize that I’ve trapped us both.  Why am I so worthless?
The angel looks at me.  He smiles.  He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him.  How can I tell him how he changed me.  He tells me he’ll die for loving me.  Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life.  Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me.  He tells me he loves me.  I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late.  He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.
I’m left on the floor, unable to move.
This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now.  I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.
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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years
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kinktober - day one
akaashi keiji - friends to lovers 
kinktober faq kinktober prompt list  
NSFW warning featuring: fingering, dry humping, first time together, unprotected sex other tags: lots of exposition, too many words, years long pining, accidental almost confession, emotional real one, mentions of characters having previous partners, oblivious reader, hidden feelings, slight angst, oh no there’s only one bed!  fem reader
word count: 7380
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Akaashi Keiji knows everything. 
At least, he seems to. 
You realized this only a month after knowing him. He turned around to you, the girl who sat behind him in biology, and gave you one look before saying, “You have no idea what this lesson is about, do you?” And you laughed, because it was so absurdly true, while Akaashi turned his desk around and introduced himself as your study partner. 
You still don’t know how he knew you were struggling. You thought you hid it well, but his eyes must have caught the poor grade on the quiz the teacher returned to you the week before, or the way you seemed to immediately sulk the moment you walked into the classroom. He could see everything you tried to hide - even things you couldn’t see yourself.
And he wouldn’t let you get away with anything but a stellar grade, so study sessions became routine for the two of you - a friendship was destined to bloom, and fast. 
He was too observant for his own good, which was something you learned while watching one of his volleyball practices. He had been inviting you to come watch after study sessions for awhile, but it took you a bit to work up the nerve to walk into the giant gymnasium filled with boys you didn’t know. 
As you watched him play, you saw his superpower: Akaashi’s eyes were everywhere at once. On the ball, on his teammates, on his opponents, on his own feet - he always knew where everyone was at any given moment, all while somehow managing to spare you a few knowing glances during the mess of the game.
You never knew how he did it, but you figured you didn’t have to know. It was because he was Akaashi, and that’s it. 
But you questioned why no one else seemed to notice it. His excellence was obvious to you, but even his closest friends seemed to gloss over it. 
Keiji stood out to you, while to others, he was just Akaashi. Quiet, reserved, sometimes as blunt as a hammer, Akaashi. 
He didn’t care, though. Akaashi thrived on being in the background - he didn’t need any of the attention or recognition you wished to give him. And maybe he loved his friends more because they left him be. 
Those friends of his, however, all shined just as bright as Keiji did, and were never shy about it. You look back at getting to know them all as a highlight of being in high school; despite never feeling like you belonged in their friend group, you were always happy to be with them. 
Keiji pushed you to get closer to the three boys, Tsukishima, Bokuto, and especially Kuroo, right from the first day you met them. They were playing a friendly volleyball game with a few other boys you never really met, and you quickly learned you had no reason to be nervous to meet them. 
It was easy to let go and goof off, because that’s all any of them were doing, anyway. 
Just because it seemed like fun to get under Kuroo’s skin, you decided to antagonize him a bit. “So, Nekoma’s mascot is a cat, correct?” 
Kuroo immediately grew defensive at your tone. “Yes - what do you have against cats?” 
“Nothing, nothing! I like to think of myself as pretty cat-like, actually.” 
“Show him your claws, Y/N,” Keiji chimed in. 
“They’re nimble, and sneaky... and lazy. Something that owls aren’t - just saying. Seems pretty fitting when comparing your team to ours, don’t you think?” 
“Akaashi, you better get your cat,” Kuroo grumbled, with a sly smirk that never seemed to leave his face. 
“She’s just a kitten,” Akaashi replied, winking at you and immediately taking your breath in a way you’d never felt before. “Not my kitten, though, so you’re on your own here, Kuroo.” 
That’s when the first wall came up. You didn’t notice it, not yet, or even realize why it had been built. But as soon as your heart sank to your stomach and erupted into butterflies all because of Keiji’s flirtatious gesture, that wall arose. 
And many would follow. 
On the walk home from that practice, you noticed every glance he sent you. Every time his shoulder touched yours, you felt it amplified. Your knuckles grazed his and you looked down at your hands - his much bigger than yours, your fingers raring to wrap around his. And they were going to, either out of curiosity or the blatant need to touch him or both, until he stuffed both of his hands into his pockets and away from your potential grasp. 
You shook your disappointment off and reminded yourself of what the two of you were: friends. Just friends. Friends only hold hands sometimes, and it’s not on walks home or during study sessions or any of the times you found yourself wanting to hold onto him. 
“Kuroo likes you,” Akaashi said out of nowhere. And you laughed. 
“You think so?” 
“I’m pretty sure.” He sounded distant, his gaze was head on. “Maybe you should give him a chance.” 
You laughed again and said, “Maybe,” even though you knew you’d never entertain the thought of going out with Kuroo. 
Not with Kuroo or anyone else, but you wouldn’t understand why for a long time. 
Two years of friendship had come and gone in almost an instant, but every day with Akaashi was memorable in that easy familiar way only he could offer. He truly was your comfort - everything you needed in a friend, Keiji had. Being so close to him was a blessing, you knew that. 
When the two of you ended up choosing the same university, you almost wanted to cry, because you knew nothing could quell your fears of what’s new better than Keiji’s all knowing familiarity. Having your best friend by your side during times of change would make everything easier.
But it was a different story entirely when you became roommates with him. The apartment you shared was small but homey; it had all the comfort you had in your friendship with him, and you thought nothing could be better than that. 
It was more than that, though. Months went by of seeing him every day, and it felt like that comfort was leaking through the floor every time you saw his bedhead or heard him singing in the shower or watched him pull another girl into his bedroom. 
It wasn’t like the latter was an often occurrence, but just the thought of him being with someone made your stomach turn. But it gave you the idea of seeking your own partners, which was something you hadn’t done in years, and it quickly spiraled into an unhealthy habit. 
You longed for familiarity, to be touched by someone you knew. You were desperate for comfortable vulnerability, and you never found that with a stranger in your bed. So, you decided to seek out someone familiar. And when the person in bed with you was an old friend, a realization dawned on you. Rather, it was offered to you. 
“What are you doing, Y/N?” Kuroo mumbled, and you did nothing but send him a questioning glare, one he scoffed at. 
The two of you had done nothing so far but send a few flirty texts and then sit on your bed; he hadn’t even kissed you yet. You weren’t sure how you felt about it - you weren’t sure if you even wanted him to kiss you. 
“I’m not the one you want here, idiot. So why am I the one you brought to your bed?” 
“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied honestly. “Are we going to -” 
“No, we aren’t. Are you really that dense?” 
“What?” 
“Look,” Kuroo said, standing up and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he was annoyed that he had to be saying this. And while you watched him, you noticed this was the first time you ever saw him without his signature grin or sly eyes. “If I was a shitty friend, I would have fucked you back in high school, alright? I mean, come on, I had the chance. But I care about Akaashi too much to ever do that with you, and I know you don’t actually want to fuck me.”
You stood up, too, facing him head on. “What does Akaashi have anything to do with fucking me, Kuroo?” 
“Everything, idiot. I know you probably think you’re good at hiding it, but everyone knows you’re as in love as you could possibly be with that smartass.” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, because you didn’t, but Kuroo wasn’t having it. 
“Well you’re the only one you’ve convinced. And, for the record, this isn’t going to help you get over him.” 
Still, you didn’t get it. You couldn’t see it - you refused to. 
“You’re off limits, dude, Akaashi told us himself.” 
“Then why are you here?” 
His annoying grin was back. “To see how delusional you really are. And give you some advice. Just admit it to yourself - you’ll feel better, I promise.” 
Keiji was your best friend, and that was it. 
This wasn’t some story of years long pining and unrequited love. 
Was it? 
But you thought about it, for just a moment. You thought about being in love with him. 
And then you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
You decided, right then and there, that what Kuroo said wasn’t true; admitting it to yourself didn’t make anything better. In a lot of ways, your friendship with Akaashi thrived on your special feelings for him, and it relied on those feelings staying secret to both of you. 
You couldn’t even finish the conversation with Kuroo. He swore not to tell, because you made him, and that was it. 
That’s when the second wall came up, then the third, then the fourth. You were trapped inside of them. Hiding, only hiding, and safe from anyone who could see you or your heart. 
You denied it still, even though Kuroo knew, just to convince yourself he didn’t. No one knew but you; the only one who knew the password to that door was you. You could be hidden, safe, and protected forever, because you made it that way. 
Keiji would never know, and everything would stay okay. 
Everything but you. And that security wouldn’t last, because a storm was brewing. 
But you were content. What you had with Keiji was always enough for you - you had enough. You saw him every day. You got to hear his laugh on the good days and hug him on the bad ones; you got to have coffee with him every morning and secret late night snacks too many midnights. Sleeping alone was fine. Not getting intimate moments was okay. What you had was enough. 
It seemed like the more you recognized your feelings for him, the more of Keiji you saw. You were still getting to know him after years of calling him your best friend; you were noticing his habits that you never saw before. He mumbles to himself while he cooks; he picks at his nails when he’s nervous; he overthinks everything, even the smallest decisions. 
The latter had always been obvious, but you had never realized it until you lived with him - until you really started to love him. 
Every day, you learned something new about him. And every day, you loved him more, in ways you didn’t even know you could. Ways that made it hard to love him from afar.
Months of your love growing during your first year of university seemed to go by too quickly, and soon spring break was fast approaching. A trip with old friends to a lake house was planned months in advance, and both you and Keiji were excited to see the three boys again. 
But when you arrived at the old looking house that evening you were met with knowing eyes and a sly grin that hadn’t changed since high school. 
“There are only four beds,” Kuroo announced, “and five of us.”
“That’s alright,”  Keiji started, but he was interrupted by Bokuto’s loud laugh. 
“Oh, I guess we’re sharing a bed, four eyes!” 
“I’ll suffocate you in your sleep,” Tsukishima said, meaning every word he said in a way that made Kuroo cackle. 
Keiji looked at you. “You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” 
A million thoughts ran through your mind, but you only shook your head. You didn’t voice any of the concerns you had for yourself. 
“No problem.” 
He gave you a grin. “It’ll be like our high school sleepovers,” and then he took your bag and left to find your shared room. 
You remembered the last sleepover you had with him and your heart raced just thinking about it; you spent half of the night pretending to be asleep, and the other half watching Keiji’s sleeping face and wondering why laying next to him made you feel the way it did. 
This would be the exact same, except now you knew why your heart would be pounding. 
Kuroo was still laughing, but he was looking directly at you. “Are you sure it’s not a problem?” 
“Shut up, Kuroo.” 
He kept laughing, and it left Bokuto scratching his head. “What’s going on? Why are you mad, Y/N?” 
“Because Kuroo is an asshole -” 
“Hey now, I’m doing you a favor here!”
“...I still don’t get it.” 
“You never will, Bokuto,” Tsukishima commented. 
You decided to leave Kuroo laughing on his own - you shouldn’t let him get under your skin, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. He was doing this on purpose. Maybe he thought he was helping you out, but he was only making things harder for you. 
You weren’t going to let him win. You were going to have fun on this trip while keeping our secret seeled, and nothing would stop you - not even Kuroo attempting to play matchmaker. 
The late arrival called for a quick dinner and a nighttime bonfire to kick off the vacation the right way; the boys were all too excited for the night and had gotten the fire started before you could even finish unpacking your bag. 
When you stepped outside, the cool air hit your skin and froze you all over - you expected low temperatures, but not that. 
“It’s cold!” you called out to the boys who were all sitting around the nearby campfire. 
“That’s why we have a fire, moron!” 
“It’s still cold,” you argued, even though you knew it was fruitless to fight with Kuroo.
“It’s alright, you’ll warm up,” Keiji told you. 
“Go warm her up, Akaashi!” 
You ignored Kuroo’s comment - you were not in a good place to be entertaining that thought, not when you’d be in bed with Keiji in just a few hours. 
Keiji seemed to ignore it, too. “Here, I saved you a seat.” He patted the vacant spot on the bench next to him, and you sat down. “You didn’t bring a jacket, did you?” 
“It’s inside,” you replied. “But I’m fine.” 
He didn’t even listen to your response, he was already pulling his hoodie off and giving it to you. 
“Are you sure?” you asked, holding it in your lap.
“Yes,” he replied. “It’ll keep you warm - you need it more than I do.” 
“How romantic,” Kuroo butted in, and it was only now that you noticed the beer in his hand - as well as the few empty cans next to him. 
Drunk Kuroo is always worse than Sober Kuroo, even though you could hardly believe he could ever get snarkier. It was like alcohol made him open his big mouth more, and it always made you nervous. Even though you knew he’d never say anything about your secret while anyone else was around, any time alcohol was involved made those chances go up.
“Just being nice,” Keiji said, obviously playing in to Kuroo’s banter. “I don’t see you offering her your jacket.” 
“Hey, I just don’t think you’d like it if I gave your girl my jacket, would you?” 
Keiji laughed at his slurred words and directed his reply at the group rather than to Kuroo, “He’s only had five beers and he’s already stuttering.” 
“We’ll see if he makes it to six before passing out,” you said, and while it made the others laugh, it seemed to rub Kuroo’s drunken fragile ego the wrong way. 
“I can handle my alcohol just fine, thank you.” 
Bokuto butted in, “Are you sure about that?” 
“You’ve been a lightweight since high school,” you added. 
Everyone laughed, Kuroo included. With his next words, he must have thought he was playing along with the joke. That you were all in on what he was about to say next. That they would have no repercussions, they would sting no ears. 
But when he said them, it sounded like a smack of thunder. 
“Yeah, and you’ve been hiding your feelings since high school - some things just never change, Y/N!” 
You could hardly hear Bokuto saying, “Feelings? For who?!”
“For Aka -”
“Kuroo.” 
You stood up. Keiji’s forgotten hoodie fell out of your lap and landed on the ground. Everything was quiet save for the fire cracking and the pounding of your heart. 
Your eyes said everything you needed to tell Kuroo. He stared right back at you, his face white as snow and his mouth hung open as he choked back his words. Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. It was the calm before a fast approaching storm, one you couldn’t run away from. 
“You weren’t going to say Akaashi, were you? Surely not…” 
Kuroo turned his head to look at Bokuto, seeming to have no clue what to say. You kept staring as he shook his head, not having the courage to say anything else. 
“Pretty sure he was,” Tsukishima said.
“Oh. Shit.” 
You could have denied it - you didn’t. You could have been angry at Kuroo - you weren’t. You could have explained this away as him being drunk and talking out of his ass - you couldn’t. 
You didn’t dare turn to look at Keiji as you stormed toward the cabin. You refused to stay and let this situation become worse than it already was. 
You could hardly hear the words Keiji had for Kuroo, but they were something like, “Why the fuck did you do that?” and if you had been any less upset you would have been worried for how angry he sounded. 
You didn’t know what would happen next. If you thought about it, you were sure you’d fall apart, and that was the one thing you couldn’t let happen. You had to hold yourself together, you had to give this situation the benefit of the doubt. 
Maybe if you could just lie down and sleep before Keiji comes inside, you could wake up in the morning and everyone would act like nothing happened. Just because your secret is out doesn’t mean it was over - you could wait out this storm. 
That’s what you were doing when Keiji came into your shared bedroom. You lied in bed as Keiji slipped in, your back to him and the blanket pulled up to your chin. And, just like at those old sleepovers with him, you were pretending to be asleep.
You had to be good at pretending if you wanted to stay best friends with him. To be as close as you are, with the feelings that you keep for him, you learned how to hide from Keiji. And you had gotten good at it, too - at least, you liked to think so. You were sure he wouldn’t catch you awake. 
You tried not to think about what happened earlier. You tried not to dread what was coming if he knew you weren’t actually sleeping. 
Minutes passed and Akaashi stayed awake. Then, he looked over to you. 
“I know you’re awake.” 
Everything felt frozen, just for a moment, but you didn’t move. You kept your breathing deep and steady, you lied still. 
He reached a hand out to you, fisting your shirt into his palm. His thumb grazed your lower back, skin he exposed from grabbing your shirt. 
“Stop pretending. You’re bad at it.” 
It was like the world stopped spinning. Your world, anyway - the one you had made up in your head. The world where the only things Keiji didn’t know were all the things you were trying to hide from him; the world where, despite never being a good liar, you were good at lying to him. 
But that wasn’t the same world Keiji was living in.
“I know,” you replied, voice cracking through the words. 
You were sure he didn’t mean what he said in the way you felt it sting your chest, but it didn’t matter. Years of learning, hiding, pretending were all culminating in this moment, and if you weren’t careful you’d end up losing it all. 
His hand moved from your back to holding your side. “Will you look at me?” And you didn’t have a choice, because he was turning you to lay on your back, anyway. 
So you looked at him, because it’s what he asked you to do, and you felt the first crack in your poorly built foundation when you realized how close he was to you; then, he put his hand on your side and pulled you even closer.
It’s like he was looking through you. 
“I should tell you something,” he said, and you had some idea where he was going with this but you didn’t want to find out. No part of you wanted to hear what he was about to say. 
“You know… I already knew, Y/N.” 
There it was: the collapse. 
You couldn’t look at him anymore, so you closed your eyes and tried to keep pretending, even though you had nowhere left to hide. 
“Yeah.” The hand on your side was hot and heavy and hard; you hated how much you loved being touched by him, even right now when your made up world was ending. “I know.” 
“I’ve always known.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
You were so close to letting go, to breaking down in the pile of rubble. But you had built your house of lies on unsteady ground, after all; what else did you expect to happen other than this destruction? 
You wanted to cry. You didn’t. You couldn’t be angry at yourself or upset, because you saw this coming. After all, Keiji knows everything. He sees things you don’t even know are showing - he’s been able to read you like a book since before he even knew your name. 
Of course he knew. You were stupid to ever think he didn’t. 
He whispered your name, and then you felt him kiss your forehead. 
“I’m sorry,” you said again, meaning it with your whole heart even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything. 
“I should tell you something else,” he said, and it was quiet, like he was telling you a secret only you could know. He was treading carefully, choosing his words particularly - he didn’t do that often. You felt him bunching your shirt up in his fist again, you heard him sigh loudly. “I don’t even know how to say it.” 
The tears were finally slipping free as you began to understand what he was getting at, so you pulled back. You didn’t need him to pity you. 
“It’s fine,” you insisted, trying to push him away. He wouldn’t let you. “I know - I’ll get over it - you don’t have to tell me - I already know.” 
“No, you don’t - you don’t know, Y/N, please, just come here.” 
“Keiji -” 
“Let me show you.” He wasn’t speaking quietly anymore - this wasn’t a secret anymore. “I can’t explain it - let me show you, Y/N - please.” 
“Show me what?” 
“That I feel the same,” he said, pulling you back into his arms. 
For a second, you thought you misheard him.
And then, he kissed you. 
Soft, sweet, new lips were on yours, taking your breath as if he needed it to breathe himself, then breathing a new life into you that you never knew could be alive. It was like striking a match, flicking a lighter, starting a fire; you watched the rubble of your once hidden love burn, all at the hands of Keiji. 
At first you didn’t even know how to kiss him back. It was too much, too bright, too hot - and then, you couldn’t stop kissing him. You anchored your hands on the back of his neck and held him against you, silently begging him to let you take all that you wanted from him. 
You kissed him like you’d never get the chance to do this again, because you were sure you wouldn’t. This hardly felt real, let alone something that would ever happen more than once. So you savored it, you memorized this feeling so you could relive it in your dreams forever. 
A whimper reverberated through your throat and against Keiji’s lips and the feeling made him kiss you deeper, like he was searching for a way to get you to make that noise again. As the kiss got deeper, a natural progression came over your position; before you could realize it, Keiji was on top of you and lying between your legs. 
His touch was hotter than a flame and yet you couldn’t get enough of it. Every time his tongue brushed against yours, it took a part of you with it, and you were ready to give him all of you. 
And then, he stopped kissing you. 
He pulled back only slightly, and when you chased his lips he pulled back even more. You opened your eyes and stared up at him, at his blushed cheeks and pink lips and beautiful eyes. You could see the cogs in his mind turning and for a second it was like you were seeing a part of Keiji he’s never shown you before; the veil of his all knowing gaze was being dropped, only because he was letting it. 
Because all this time, Keiji was hiding, too - hiding in plain sight. You always thought he treated you the way he treated everyone else, that he knew everything about everyone, but it wasn’t true. He only knew all of your secrets because he took the time to find them. He only saw you for who you really were because he cared enough to know. And, unlike you, he was a good actor; good at pretending you weren’t special; good at building walls that would stay up until he was ready for them to come down. 
And with his next words, he made them shatter. 
“I love you.”  
You kept staring at him, trying to figure out if this nervous boy on top of you really was Keiji. 
“Really?” 
He nodded. 
“Say it again.” 
“I love you.” 
You brushed his hair out of his face and rested your hand on his cheek, still completely in awe of him, and this was all too much for you to believe. “Is this a prank?” 
He laughed at you, and his nerves seemed to melt away. 
“Damn, you caught me.” His forehead fell to rest on yours, your noses brushed. “No, it’s not a prank. I love you.” 
Somehow this intimacy felt all too foreign and way too familiar, all at once. It was overflowing, your heart was racing, it was hard to breathe, tears were falling from your eyes. 
“Say it again,” you whispered, begging him to assure you of this - to make you believe it. 
And he wiped your tears away as he told you, again, “I love you,” and the kiss he placed on your cheek seemed to make you weep even more. “And I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” you replied immediately, “I love you, too - it’s okay.” 
“It’s not okay.” It was obvious, now, that this had been bothering Keiji for longer than you could ever know. “I just… wasn’t ready. Especially with volleyball, and then moving, and then starting university, I just - I never had enough of me to give to you. And you deserve all of me, not just what’s left of me at the end of the day - I don’t know. I’m just… sorry.” 
You didn’t know how to reply to that in a way that was good enough - all you could think to do was kiss him, because you finally could kiss him, so you did. And it was the same as your first: hot and sweet, familiar and foreign, intimate and overwhelming. 
And the more you kissed him, the more it stirred something up inside of you. He wasn’t holding back - not after holding back for years - and it was like he was trying to get any reaction he could out of you. You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him closer than he’s ever been, and the way it felt to have him pressed up against you sent chills across your burning skin. 
You pulled back from the kiss just to take a breath. “Say it again,” you mumbled, because you weren’t tired of hearing those three words yet. A part of you still didn’t believe them.
Instead of saying them, though, he let his kisses trail down your jaw and onto your neck. You could feel the vibrations of his voice when he spoke, “Let me show you.” 
And you knew what he meant, but you teased him anyway, “How do you want to do that?”
His hips seemed to move on their own free will, thrusting against you as if he couldn’t stop them. And it proved that he was just as in over his head as you were; you liked that. You liked knowing you weren’t the only one in a daze. You liked having this effect on Keiji. 
“However you want,” he said through a dry throat. “We can do anything you want.” 
“I just want you,” you told him honestly. You had no other choice anymore - the truth was all you had left. 
“You have me,” he replied. “I’m yours - just let me show you.” 
Your next kiss was interrupted by his shirt coming off, then yours. You felt his bare skin against yours and you were sure this was enough, that you were content with just this. This feeling was all that you needed. 
“You’re pretty,” he whispered to you as his eyes scanned your bare body, and it left you shaking in anticipation as his lips made their way to your chest. “The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 
Your eyes couldn’t leave his face as your fingers carded through his hair; you felt his hands travel the length of your body, and every kiss he left on your skin felt like it was touching your heart - all you could do was watch. 
His hand moved lower, his fingers were teasing the edge of your shorts, but he hesitated to cross the barrier. You grabbed his wrist and pushed him across it, showing him that you couldn’t wait for this. 
That’s all Keiji needed to understand how far you were willing to go with him. His skilled fingers worked against you, slipping into your underwear and touching you exactly where you needed them to, and it was better than anything you could ever dream. 
And he did it like it was easy, like he’s spent years getting to know your body and he was doing what he knew would work. Like this was routine rather than your first time. 
This sure as hell felt like it was your first time doing this; you had never felt so sensitive or open or vulnerable. But you had never been touched by a man you wanted so much; you never thought you’d feel his fingers spreading you open or see him on top of you - this is something you’ve only done in daydreams, and now it was real. 
For the first time you were vulnerable and okay with it. You were letting him have all of you, and you trusted that he would treat you right. And he was. Maybe it was your love for him or the disbelief of the situation or both clouding your judgement, but you were convinced that his fingers felt better than your own. 
“Is this okay?” he asked in a whisper, and you replied with a moan that you couldn’t hold in anymore. He laughed, “Does that mean yes?” 
“Keiji, please don’t tease.” 
“I’m not teasing yet,” he replied with a few kisses along your jaw. You felt his fingers moving more, moving toward going inside, but he hesitated. “Y/N…” 
You were pulled out of your daze for just a second as you looked up at his furrowed brows and half lidded eyes; his face left you wondering what he was about to say next. 
“I really like the sounds you’re making,” he said, “but if anyone hears we’ll never hear the end of it.” 
You laughed, because you had completely forgotten that you and Keiji weren’t the only two people in the world - let alone this house. 
“Right,” you breathed out. 
“I’ll give you anything you ask for, but you…” 
Two of his fingers slid into you, and you held back a gasp. 
“...have to stay quiet. Can you do that for me?” 
You nodded, trying your best to take deep breaths rather than let your voice out. 
“Yeah?” he asked. 
“Yeah,” you replied, giving another nod. 
“Good,” he said. 
His fingers curled, and you covered your mouth with your palm. 
“Stay quiet,” he said, even though it felt like he was doing everything he could so you’d do the opposite. His fingers curling into you were begging for a reaction, and it was hard not to give him one. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” 
Keiji’s hips were moving again, thrusting against your leg like he just couldn’t help it. You wanted to give him more but you couldn’t - your hands were busy covering your mouth and holding onto the sheets for your life, and so all you could do was watch him grinding against you. 
“You’re one to talk,” you replied, making him laugh. 
Both of you looked down and watched; the curl of his fingers moved in time with his thrusts against you - every time they came forward, you felt his length sliding up your thigh. And when he pulled back, his fingers straightened out. 
You’d give anything to have more. “Keiji,” you started, but you just couldn’t get the words out. 
He said them for you as he pulled his fingers out, “Can I fuck you?” 
You had no other answer besides, “Please,” and you were ready to beg for it if that’s what it came to. 
He started to pull his boxers off, but again, he hesitated. The arm he was holding himself up with was trembling, his breathing was unsteady, his entire body seemed tense. Keiji was hanging on by a thread. 
“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.
You were taken aback. “Keiji…” 
“We don’t have to do this now - is it too soon? Are you sure you want me?” 
It was hard to listen to his voice when it sounded so honest. 
Your hands took place on either side of his face, ensuring he would look at you while you spoke to him. 
“Keiji… do you want this?” 
“More than anything,” he replied. 
“I can tell,” you joked, and he rolled his eyes at you. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember - I don’t think it’s too soon. But we can wait if you want. There’s no pressure, okay?” 
“I don’t,” he said. “I can’t wait - I’m so hard it fucking hurts - I just don’t want you to -” 
“You think too much.” 
He laughed. “I know.” 
You let your hands travel down to his chest, hoping you got through to him. “Don’t overthink it. I want you to fuck me, Keiji,” and your hips thrusted against his as if to convince him of how badly you needed it. “Sooner rather than later.”
It seemed to be good enough, he seemed to believe you, because now he wasn’t hesitating to take off his shorts and yours. The view it gave you struck a burning desire like no other - now that you could see all of him, you couldn’t handle not having all of him. 
And he was raring to give himself to you, coaxing his cock inside of you until you took it all, and both of you felt like you were about to explode. 
“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, and the volume of his voice pulled you back down to the real world. 
“Stay quiet,” you reminded him, giggling because the tables had turned on him. 
“I know,” he said with a nod. “You just feel so good - you’re so fucking tight -  I can’t believe this is happening - oh, fuck, it’s too much.” 
“Move, Keiji,” you whined, bucking your hips up to try to feel anything, and he cursed under his breath when he pulled back to watch your desperate attempt at fucking yourself with his cock. 
“You can do it,” he teased, pulling his hips back a little more so you had more room to move. “Keep going - fuck me like that, kitten, don’t stop.” 
You were dying to feel him meeting your thrusts, because this wasn’t nearly enough, but you loved his teasing. 
“That’s it,” he said, “that’s my girl. Taking me so well, fuck, you’re perfect.” 
He couldn’t take it anymore, that was obvious as his thrusts started. He took a hold of your hips and held you in place so he could take you at his own pace, and he was everything you could ever need. 
Your love for him was spilling from your lips and he was doing everything he could to keep you saying it, bringing you higher with every passing second. Feeling him between your thighs and inside your walls was intoxicating. It was everything you hoped it would be, simply because it was Keiji. 
“I’m close,” you said as if he needed a warning - he could probably already tell. 
“Quiet, kitten,” he said to you, bringing your lips up to his for a kiss. “These sounds are for me - don’t want anyone else hearing what’s mine. Be a good girl for me.” 
“I’m trying,” you replied, and he cooed at your whining. 
“I know,” he mumbled, and just by the sound of his voice you could tell he was liking this. And he was going to make it harder for you when his hand trailed down your body so his fingers could circle your clit. 
He kissed you hard to stop any sound you were about to make and you were grateful for it. 
“I want you to cum for me,” he said, “and I don’t want you to make a sound when you do.” 
“Keiji -” 
His hips and fingers sped up. “I’m serious. Come on, kitten, be my good girl - make me proud and stay quiet while you’re cumming all over my cock. You can do it, I know you can.” 
Any trust he had in you staying quiet until the end was completely misplaced - you knew that when his hand clamped down over your mouth. You didn’t try to hold in your voice at all, and Keiji was having just as much trouble, burying his face into your neck to muffle his noises the best he could. 
It didn’t matter if anyone else could hear you; to you, nothing else mattered but Keiji. He was the only other person in your world, the only person your body would ever scream so loudly for. As long as it was him bringing you to this euphoria, you didn’t care who else knew about it. 
Let your friends give you hell for it, let Kuroo say I told you so - you’d deal with the embarrassment in the morning. That moment was worth it. 
The soft kisses he was leaving on your neck in the wake of hitting your peaks helped you float back down easily. It was like being woken up from a dream, one where the only thing you could remember was how pleasant it was. 
“You were not quiet,” Keiji laughed. You felt your cheeks swelling and heating up in embarrassment. 
“I couldn’t help it…” 
“It’s okay,” he replied. “You still made me proud.” 
He lied next to you and pulled you close, and you convinced yourself that you were going to be there in his arms forever. If you were, you’d have no complaints. 
A quiet moment passed, and you couldn’t stand the silence. “How was… that?” 
He pulled back to look at you with wide eyes, as if he didn’t expect you to ask. “What do you mean?” 
“Was it good? Did you like it? Was I -” 
“It was perfect,” he said, biting his lip and looking up at the ceiling as if his high hadn’t completely worn off. “It was everything. Don’t get all shy and insecure on me now that you know I love you back.”  
“Shut up,” you said with a laugh. “I’m just making sure.” 
“Do you need me to prove it to you again?” 
“Maybe.”
“I’ll make sure you stay quiet for me this time, then.” 
Whether or not the two of you were successful in your attempts to keep the noise down was up for debate, but by the end of the night, neither of you cared. 
And the next morning, when you forced yourself to leave Keiji and the warmth of the bed, you found Kuroo pacing outside of your door. 
“Y/N.” 
“Hey.” 
“I’m sorry - I’m so sorry - what I said last night was way out of line, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for it -”
“It’s fine, Kuroo,” you said, because it was. If you were being honest, after the night you had with Keiji you had completely forgotten about what Kuroo said. 
“It’s not fine,” he argued. “I shouldn’t have done that - you trusted me not to say anything about your feelings, and then I did. I fucked up - why aren’t you pissed right now?” 
Before you could start to think of a reply, the door behind you opened. Keiji’s bed head popped out. 
“Can you guys be quiet?” 
“Sorry,” Kuroo immediately replied. 
Then, Keiji turned to you. “Can you come back to bed? It’s cold.” 
You nodded, and Keiji went back inside, and the moment you looked at Kuroo’s face, you knew he’d figured things out. 
“Did you guys fuck?!” 
You had no response. Keiji, however, called out a simple, “Yeah,” leaving you covering your face in embarrassment. 
“Holy shit. I -” 
You went back into your bedroom before he could even finish his words, slamming the door in his face so he couldn’t finish his boasting. But you heard him say, “You’re welcome!” before finally trodding off, and you shook off your embarrassment as best as you could. 
The breakfast you needed minutes ago was long forgotten as you looked at the view in front of you of the boy who was yours. Keiji was waiting for you with sleepy eyes peeking up at you from soft sheets, a grin on his face, and his arms open. 
He didn’t have to say a word - you were in those arms in seconds. Both of you released a sigh of relief; Keiji was warm again, and you were being held by him again. 
“Finally.” 
“I was gone for, like, two minutes, tops.” 
“I don’t care,” he replied. “It was long enough that I got too cold without you here.”
You felt like you should have more to say, but you didn’t. 
You’d spent years hoping for a moment like this. It was as soft and golden and happy as you’d ever dreamed, and moments like those didn’t need words. You knew how Keiji felt, and despite all your attempts at hiding, Keiji knew how you felt, too. 
And in that moment, when the two of you were lying in the afterglow of intimacy from the night before, finally knowing is all that mattered. 
 - 
tune in tomorrow for kinktober day 2: royal 
3K notes · View notes
fluffywolverine · 3 years
Text
so season 6 of lucifer came out.
there were some things that i liked, but generally i hated it. i believe that was SUCH. BAD. WRITING and it left me frustrated. so i decided to write down all things that pissed me off and sometimes i try to fix this by giving other ideas that – in my opinion – would have made the story better. Check my points out and feel free to add your points of view. without further ado: let’s talk.
- imma start with the big one – fucking time travel. ok I generally hate this trope in the media, because it’s complicated and often leads to some logical mistakes – and they happened here. so rory time travels because of her anger which was caused… by her anger?? i think this was unnecessary. it also brings trouble with this whole free will vs. fate discourse. lucifer says, that he chooses free will… but at the same time he goes the path of his fate. he disappears from rory’s life, because he HAS TO in order of the events of the season to happen. just because he chose to do it, doesn’t mean it’s free will.
- lucifer becomes the very thing he desperately didn’t want to become. “bUt It WaS fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd” screw this bullshit, if writers wanted to make it better, they could have easily do so. they could have altered the rules of time travel so that his choice of staying could have resulted in rory disappearing. yes, that would have been heart-breaking, but it would have been a great lesson for lucifer, that he can’t make the same mistakes his father did.
- chloe and Lucifer get a child without even talking about it. “bUt MaYbE tHeY tAlKeD aBoUt It We JuSt DiDn’T sEe It” you may say. but the point of writing anything  - whether it’s a book or a script – is to show any thing that matters. and talking about having kids is one of the most things any couple should do. also not every couple needs to have kids and forcing deckerstar to have it feels so far-fetched. this thread was very unnecessary.
- rory herself is a big problem. to begin with – she wanted to KILL her FATHER. i get her frustration, but commiting a murder?? just because he wasn’t there for her?? I would have thought that chloe taught her better, taught her that, like, killing people is bad. turns out she did not. secondly… she just isn’t necessary here. i elaborate later so in conclusion – her thread could be altered with michael’s and it would have made much more sense. i also don’t like the actress (why was she blinking so much??) so i certainly didn’t help.
- of course ella has to end up with a boyfriend. because earlier she always ended up with “bad boys” and now, without any help, she is just able to have a healthy relationship! yay! for me this creates a toxic view, that in order to be happy one HAS TO be in a relationship, because being alone is aLwAyS bAd. well, it’s not.
- i also have troubles with lucifer starting up a foundation for her. firstly, he didn’t ask her. secondly it – AGAIN – shows, that anything good ella got, was because of another man. firstly because of her relationship with carol, secondly because of lucifer’s idea. it could have been so easily altered! there could have been a scene of a conversation e.g. with amenadiel where she expressed a will to do better and be better for someone (given that she sees a lot of dark in herself). amenadiel could have then told her, that she is an inspiration and that it is her biggest strength. that could have been where ella came up with an idea to start a foundation blah blah – it’s just a rough idea but I believe that written well, it could have been so much better;
- and the last thing about ella – of course she had to find out about celestial stuff because sHe WaS tHe OnLy OnE rEmAiNiNg. umm what about trixie? i'll come back to her later. ella was portrayed as the only one believing in god and having her seeing that he really exists ruins the concept of faith. it’s not about knowing something exists, it’s about believing in it.
- WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHAEL. i must admit that i loved this character AND I CAN’T STAND HOW AWFULLY HE WAS TREATED HERE. so at the end of season 5 lucifer says “everyone deserves a second chance, even you michael". and what does he do then? COMMANDS HIS TWIN TO CLEAR THE FLOOR IN HELL. yes, i agree that michael should have been punished for his rebellion plan, but… he already has his wing cut off. now he’s stuck in hell, with no way out and is he supposed to learn his lesson? this is cruel. instead of this the entire season could have been centred on him – his journey to self-acceptance, learning how manipulating someone is toxic and starting to realise how to be a better person. at the end he could have become god (because amenadiel is such an obvious choice), which would create a beautiful connection – michael in heaven and his twin in hell.
- lucifer doesn’t feel like being god and that’s cool. damn. people died for him to win this place and he’s like “actually you know guys i’m not the right person bye”. while i believe that anyone should step out if they have a reason, but at the same time lucifer should have faced any consequences of his decisions. falling frog and kool aid in the river are not enough.
- adam’s plot feels just quickly sketched, not actually written. i really appreciate this take on toxic masculinity but it all felt too fast-paced. it’s good that they show this idea of “strong and not-showing-any-feelings man” kind of attitude, but it is impossible for ANYONE (especially The ManTM) to change their mind in a matter of a few days. it takes weeks, months, years even, especially given that adam is like a gazillion years old, he should have especially taken a long time to process this.
- carol is just too pure to exist. he’s also one of the most boring, plain and one-dimensional character i’ve ever seen. i feel like they gave him a problem with alcohol because the writers were like “hmmmmm he has to have some weakness. LET’S MAKE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC”. we don’t see any signs of his everyday struggle, why did he fell into this problem, how did struggle. it just feels like a dull plot device to show that he has flaws. oh and also he’s so pure that he doesn’t mind ella BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE. acceptance should have boundaries and violating someone’s personal space isn’t right.
- why did they forget about trixie again? yes, i know that scarlett estevez had another project but this does not justify the bad writing. the girl lost her father and we only see her crying once because of that. no signs of this affecting her everyday life, not showing any consequences of her relationships with other people, not  glimpse of any change in her behaviour. oh and also she loses lucifer too because time travel! great idea, writers! losing another close to her person would have been soooooo good for her psychic for sure.
- i also hate the idea that suddenly rory becomes the only child they care for. where is trixie when they spend their day on the beach? where is she when her mother dies? did writers forget about her as well as they did about michael?
- amenadiel being a police officer is… problematic. i was looking forward to this thread, i was kinda scared too and it turned out… meh. i’m white and not American, so this of course does not involve me at all, but i felt like this was not enough. harris basically said that there is nothing they can do to make it better for black folks. even though chloe and amenadiel want to make everything more just, we don’t actually see any change. the only thing is that harris becomes a detective (right? i’m not sure if i understood it correctly, so correct me if i’m wrong, please) which is a total contradiction of what she said before. suddenly she does not have to protect people anymore?
- in season 5 they stated that heaven and hell need to be fixed, as the system is unfair and unjust. at the end we don’t see any change, the only thing that is different is lucifer helping damned souls. it doesn’t help at all! these people still go to hell, they still suffer and there’s nothing that changed here! plus there is also this thing, that a sociopath who murdered people in cold blood goes to heaven (because he does not feel any guilt) and a person abused by her parents/partner/whoever goes to hell (because have been manipulated to feel guilt).
- dan making amends with trixie while… there wasn’t really anything to make amends about. like, most of the parents make mistakes while upbringing their children, but does this make them unworthy of heaven? i would have preferred dan to slowly regain his self-consciousness, how he positively affected the lives of people around him and by doing so – through conversations or maybe reliving some of the memories, he could have proved to himself that he is worthy of love and redemption.
phew, what a ride. i really liked dan being reunited with charlotte (it went just as i imagined) and mazeve dynamics. i even felt like they are finally a real life relationship – with people hurting each other by not understanding each other, but then talking and seeing other’s perspective. generally though, i’m very disappointed.
sorry for any mistakes, lacking commas etc. writing a text this long in not my native language was not easy.
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drabbles-mc · 3 years
Text
Mon Amie
Coco Cruz x F!Reader
Request by @elivanah-writes​: So I was thinking what if he met a girl one day or already knows her for some time but she's moved there maybe a few months ago and only speaks french and english. And she teaches him some words in french. And ends up singing a song for him. The song in the fic can be found Here
Warnings: language, alcohol, a split second of light angst, Coco being a cutie pie
Word Count: 2.8k
A/N: So I did tweak the original request a little bit but I hope you still enjoy it! I know zero French so hopefully I did alright pulling this together. I kind of love these two together though I can’t lie. Hope you guys enjoy it!
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“Nah, I’m just saying,” he chuckled as he watched you pull things from your cabinets to start making dinner, “if you’re livin’ this close to the border, you should know some Spanish.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” you shake your head slightly as you bite back a smile, “I’m just saying that trying to learn Spanish immersively when I know none is a bit much.”
“I could teach you,” he watched for your reaction as he took a sip of his beer.
The offer made you turn to face him, “Oh? Could you?”
“What’s that look for, ma?” he laughed.
You shrug, giggling quietly, “Just didn’t know that you were a teacher as well as a biker.”
“There’s a lot you still gotta learn about me,” he paused, “But forreal. I can teach you if you want?”
“Coco, you really don’t have—”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to,” he lightly drummed his fingers on the countertop, “How ‘bout I’ll teach you Spanish if you teach me French? Deal?”
You laughed, twirling the spoon idly in your hands, “You wanna learn French?”
“Why you gotta look so shocked at everything I say?” he flashed you a quick smile.
“Well, like you said,” you smiled, biting lightly at your bottom lip, “I’ve got a lot to learn.”
You’d spent a lot of time with Coco ever since you found yourself in Santo Padre. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what drew the two of you to each other in the first place, but you became fast friends. The first time you’d invited him over to your place for dinner you could see a million different thoughts flash across his face and you couldn’t deny that being flustered looked cute on him. You reassured him that it was just a friendly invite—no pressure whatsoever. And somehow that turned into him coming over on a somewhat regular basis. There was a sense of security for you in the friendship that the two of you had been building.
Once he agreed to start teaching you, though, you felt like the two of you saw each other practically every day, even if he just stopped in quickly on his way home. He was teaching you the basics, the practical things that you needed to know. And in return you taught him the same things in French. Both of you got a kick out of the other trying to master the emphasis and accents of the other language. Every now and then you’d write words down in French for him just to watch him get blown away by how something spelled out one way, was said completely different.
“Ah, mon amie, don’t give up on me now,” you laughed as you looked over the list of words that you had been “studying”, although that was a bit of a strong word for it, “I’ll get this, I promise.”
He laughed, “I know you will,” he paused and you could feel his eyes on you as you read the paper, “What’s that mean again?”
“Hm?” you looked up at him.
“What’s that mean? Mon amie?”
A soft smile took over your features, “My friend.”
He didn’t say anything, simply nodded in acknowledgment. But despite his silence you could see it on his face that there was a certain kind of comfort in the title. Of course the two of you were friends, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that knowing it and hearing you say it were two completely different things.
“Alright,” he snapped back to the real task at hand, “you remember how to ask where the grocery store is? That’s a good one to know.”
“Yes!” you paused, picturing the flashcards you made for yourself in your mind, “Dónde está,” you pressed your lips together, hesitating on whether or not you were thinking of the right word, “el supermercado?”
He smiled, nodding, “You got it. Basically, if you got dónde está, that’s like ninety percent of all those questions. So you’ll be good.”
“How often do you think I’ll be getting lost?” you chuckled as you got up from the table to grab a couple drinks for each of you.
When he didn’t have an immediate response, you looked back over your shoulder at him and you could see that he was trying to think of the right word. You paused, placing your hands on your hips as you waited to see what he was going to say.
“Souvent,” he finally got the word out.
You laughed, placing your hand on your chest to feign offense at his statement, “Really? You don’t think I have a good sense of direction?”
“You text me at least twice a week asking where shit is in town, ma. And the town ain’t even that big,” he chuckled.
You shook your head as you pulled two beers out of the fridge, “First of all, rude,” you laughed, “Second of all, I’m glad the French lessons are sticking when you really need them,” you mumbled and continued shaking your head as you popped the tops off the beer bottles, “Often. This guy…”
“C’mon,” he chuckled as he got up and walked over to you, “don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” you laughed, handing one bottle over to him, “I’m just…” you racked your brain for the right word in Spanish, “decepcionada,” you laughed as you said it, letting him know that it wasn’t true.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be able to talk shit to me in Spanish soon enough.”
“I can’t wait,” you smiled.
There were a few beats of silence and just as you were about to ask if he wanted to stay for dinner his phone went off. He reached into his kutte and pulled it out, and you could tell from the shift in expression on his face that he was about to have to take off out the door. You tried not to feel too disappointed about it, because you knew that you were just a very small piece of the larger picture of his life.
He held the phone up to his ear, “Yo. Yea, yea, alright. I’ll be there in a few.” The conversation was over as quickly as it started. When he looked over at you, you could’ve sworn that you could see it in his eyes that he didn’t really want to go, or maybe you were just projecting, “I gotta run.”
“I figured,” you took a sip of your beer, “I’ll talk to you later?”
He nodded, “Yea, ‘course,” he stepped in and hugged you, and before he could stop himself he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek, “Bonne nuit.”
You smiled, a soft giggle slipping past your lips as you listened to the way his accent wrapped around the French words, “Buenas noches, Coco.”
“See?” he flashed you one last smile before taking off out the door, “You’re gettin’ it.”
Once the door shut behind him, you let out a small sigh. Your bottle hung limply from one hand as your other came up and lightly caressed over the spot where Coco’s lips had just been. Perhaps friend wasn’t quite strong enough of a word anymore.
You didn’t see him for a few days after that. It wasn’t the strangest thing in the world, really. You knew very little about what the club was involved in but you knew that it was time-consuming if nothing else. But Coco popping in had somewhat become a bit of a routine and it was weird to go a few nights in a row with no sign of him. He’d responded to your texts asking if he was at least alive and safe somewhere, and the sarcasm in his response let you know that he was definitely fine, just busy.
You were sipping on your glass of wine as you watched your pie baking in the oven. Baking late at night when you weren’t ready to fall asleep was something you’d done ever since you started living on your own and realized that no one was around to stop you. It was usually an activity coupled with a large glass of wine and mellow music—just a nice way to relax when it was late.
Over the sounds of the music you could hear someone knock at your door. You knew that there was really only one person it could be. You turned the music down slightly before walking over to the door. When you opened it, you saw Coco on the other side—he was safe and in one piece, but you could see the exhaustion on his face.
“Hey, you alright?” you motioned for him to come in.
“I know it’s late. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not wanting him to feel bad, “I was up anyway.”
He glanced over your shoulder into the kitchen, “You cookin’ at 11PM?” a tired smile crossed his features.
You laughed, “You don’t get to come over this late and then judge my late-night activities.”
It got him to laugh, “I ain’t judging you. I just figured you’d be, I dunno, fuckin’ asleep or something.”
“And yet you’re still here,” you studied his face for a moment, “You sure you’re okay?”
He shrugged, “Just been a long few days. Needed uh, un ami.”
You smiled, taking his hand and tugging him towards the kitchen, “You came to the right place.”
Trying not to get too distracted by how much you loved the way his rough, calloused palm felt pressed against yours, you motioned for him to sit down at the counter. You grabbed another stemless wine glass from the cupboard and poured him a glass. You could see the dubious look on his face and couldn’t help but to laugh.
“Trust me. Wine after a bad day just…hits a little different than a beer. Plus,” you nodded towards the oven, “it’ll taste good with the pie.”
“You’re bakin’ a fuckin’ pie at midnight?”
“Eleven,” you corrected with a smile.
The two of you existed in comfortable silence while you waited for the oven timer to go off. As much as you wanted to ask about what had been going on, to pry about what seemed to have put him in a bit of a mood, you didn’t. Your home was a place away from all of that for him and you were more than content to keep it that way. As the minutes ticked by, you could see it in his face and body language that he was relaxing.
The timer went off, causing both of you to perk up a bit. You took another sip of your wine before setting the glass down and grabbing your oven mitts. You pulled the pie out of the oven and set it on the hot-plate that was on the counter. You smiled when you saw Coco’s eyes light up at the sight of it.
“Espere,” you waved the pie server at him, “It’s hot.”
He smiled for a moment at your recall of the word before asking, “How long we gotta wait?” he took a drink from his wine glass.
You chuckled, “Until I say it’s ready to eat.”
The only sound in the room was coming from your phone as it continued to softly play music from your playlist. You hummed along quietly as you started getting plates and forks out for the two of you. As you were gathering things together, you almost completely forgot that Coco was there and you started to sing quietly, more to yourself than to him.
When you turned around and saw the look on Coco’s face, you became very aware of what you had been doing. Heat rushed to your face and you stopped singing as you set a plate down in front of him.
“I don’t think I’ve heard you sing in any language,” he was smiling, eyes filled with awe.
You laughed nervously, “Singing is usually a Me Time activity.”
“What song’s that?” he nodded towards your phone.
“It’s called Je Vais T’Aimer,” you started cutting into the pie to avoid looking him in the eye.
“You can keep singing, if you want,” he ran the tip of his finger along the edge of his glass, “It can still be You Time.”
“Ask me about it again after I have a few more glasses of wine,” you replied with a smile as you served a piece of the pie onto his plate.
“What if,” he asked through a mouthful of pie, “I said that I’d learn better if I listened to you sing the words?”
You laughed, shaking your head, “I’d say that you’re full of it.”
The two of you sat on opposite sides of the counter and talked about anything that didn’t feel heavy or serious, and it felt good. You each had a few more glasses of wine as you chatted, fingers occasionally brushing against each other as you reached for the bottle. It was already the small hours of the morning before you finally decided to start rinsing off the dishes.
You both had been talking long enough for your playlist to completely loop back around again. You weren’t going to comment on it but you could see Coco’s eyes light up a bit when he heard the slightly familiar piano notes coming from your phone. Making a point to not look directly at him, you quietly began to sing as you started to clean the dishes you’d used while you were baking, the ones that you and Coco had just used to eat.
Coco materialized next to you by the sink, leaning back on the counter. He didn’t say anything as he listened to you sing, and watched you meticulously clean each dish and piece of silverware. You caught smile on his face from the corner of your eye, and it was soft, genuine. For a moment you thought about pressing your lips to it but you stopped yourself.
Even when the song ended, Coco didn’t stop watching you, “You got a good voice.”
You finally fully looked over at him, “I’m glad you think so,” there was a tinge of amusement in your voice.
“Nah, I’m serious,” he playfully nudged your shoulder, “I might not know all the words but I know what sounds good. Don’t gotta be fluent for that.”
You laughed, “I suppose not,” you shut the water off and dried your hands, moving so that you were standing in front of him. Taking a chance, with a little bit of liquid confidence at your back, you reached out and gently stroked your thumb along his cheek, “Feel better?”
He nodded, smiling as he rested his hand over yours, “Yea. Th-thank you. Or, y’know, merci.”
A quiet giggle slipped past your lips as you admired the way his hand continued to envelop yours, “You’re welcome.”
It was evident on his face that he had a thousand different thoughts going through his head at once. You let him get there on his own, saying whatever it was that he wanted to say, “I don’t, um, I don’t wanna fuck this up,” he motioned back and forth between you with his free hand, “but I really…I really wanna kiss you.”
Your heart pounded inside your chest, “Then…do it,” your voice was hardly a whisper.
His eyes widened—he didn’t have to be told twice. He gently tugged you towards him and pressed his lips to yours. You cupped his face in both hands as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against him. For a minute there wasn’t a single coherent thought in your head as you melted against him. You wished you’d done it sooner.
When you finally pulled your lips off of his, there was a smile on his face and a softness in his expression that you hadn’t seen before. Your hands rested lightly on his shoulders as his fingers drummed against your hips.
You saw his expression shift to one of deep thought and you gave his shoulders a light squeeze, “You okay?”
He nodded, “Yea, yea. I’m good, I just, gimme a sec,” his brows furrowed in thought, “I know this one. Hold on…”
It then hit you that he was trying to remember how to say something. You lightly bit down on your bottom lip, toying with the ends of his hair while you waited for him to remember what he wanted to say.
When he recalled it, it instantly showed all over his face. His eyes met yours, and with calculated certainty he said, “Je t’aime.”
Your stomach erupted in butterflies as you pressed a quick, soft kiss to his lips, “Je t’amie,” you paused, unable to tone down the grin on your face, “That wasn’t one that I taught you.”
He chuckled, “Nah, yea. I, uh, I hit Google Translate for that one.”
You laughed, kissing his cheek, “You’re perfect.”
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kiribaku-queen · 3 years
Text
The Blood King and his Queen [10]
Pairing: Bakugou x reader
Romance, Angst, Drama
Word count: 3.6K
TIGGER WARNING: 18+ scene, first time, taking virginity, vanilla sex. If you are not comfortable reading smut or are NOT 18, please read up until the line!
Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?
A/N: Happy reading my loves!
Thank you for helping me reach 1000+ followers! I have a follower event posted, if you haven't seen it! Requests are still open if you are interested. Rules are posted after this chapter and you can see them if you scroll down my page. Will be reblogging soon!
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It all felt like a dream. When you woke up from the warm, sun rays, Bakugou’s dreamy face was the first thing you saw. Eyes closed without a care in the world. You finally felt a piece and that everything was turning right for you, that this was going to be your new life.
There was nothing you wanted more than for you to be in Bakugou’s arms, and that’s where you were this very instant. His arm wrapped around you in a tight, protective hold, his face just centimeters away from you, you could feel his breath tickle your skin. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. So relaxed and calm. You wonder why he couldn’t look like that all the time.
But happiness and euphoria came to a halt when you both became a lot busier. Especially since the ball was right around the corner. You were lucky if you were able to even hear his voice. He would be in bed late at night and you would miss him in the mornings because of how much of an early riser he was. Sure it was disappointing now being able to see him nowadays, but after this ball, you were going to spend the rest of your life with him. So there was no need to fret over it now.
You were walking down the hallway with Mina as she was teaching you more about how this palace ran. You got an idea of how your palace ran since you were basically everywhere. Bakugou’s palace was sort of the same concept, only a few things were different. You had to learn where everything was and how to run as queen and what better way for someone to show you than Mina. She was close to the Blood Prince so she had a good idea of how the palace ran. She was telling the history of the royal family, their ups and downs and their legacy. Mina was deep into conversation when a hand covered your mouth and brought you to a secluded area nearby. You make a sound of shock, but because the hand muffled the sound of your voice, Mina didn’t notice and continued walking on.
You were expecting your back to be slammed against the wall, but you were surprised when a hand gently stopped the impact. You came face to face with the one and only Blood Prince who had a smirk on his face.
“Katsuki!” your eyes welled up with tears and you immediately pulled him in for a tight hug. God, you missed his touch, his warmth, his everything. Bakugou hugged you just as tightly. He pulled away to give you a chaste kiss upon your lips. You couldn’t help but melt into him, your knees falling weak. Thankfully, Bakugou still had a good grasp on you.
“I missed you,” he breathed, letting your foreheads rest together.
“You stole my line,” you joked, kissing him again. This time, Bakugou was smiling into the kiss.
“Shouldn’t you being your princely duties,” you reminded him, trying to pull away but Bakugou wasn’t done with you just yet. He kept trying to kiss you despite you physically pulling away to talk to him. When he started getting frustrated with your refusal to kiss him, he started attacking your jaw line and your neck.
“Katsuki~” you whined.
“Let’s just enjoy this moment. I don’t have much time before they notice I’m gone,” he said in between kisses.
“You missed me that much?” you teased and you expected Bakugou to give you some snarky remark but he admit it.
“I missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he came back up to your lips, claiming you as his. He pushed your bodies together, your lips never leaving each other at that point. You both craved each other. After getting that first kiss out of the way, you weren’t afraid to kiss each other all you want. It was almost an addiction. The flavour of his lips made you crave for more. You were too immersed in each other that you didn’t notice a pink haired soldier giving you the death stare. Obviously, you weren’t going to look at her direction any time soon, so she cleared her throat, making her presence known.
“Are you done yet?” she asks, startling the both of you. You were quick to pull away from embarrassment that you got caught. But Bakugou, on the other hand, just stared at her while still saying in his pose: one arm around your waist while the other was bracing the wall. Mina didn’t hesitate to grab you, pulling you to her side.
“If you’ll excuse me, your highness, but I’ll have to take my girl back. I was in the middle of a lesson and if she’s going to be your queen, she’s gonna need to know this stuff!” she scolded her future King. She took your hand and personally escorted you away so she could finish what she was saying.
“Tch,” Bakugou smirked, finally standing tall and watched as his most trusted soldier took you away. Mina was the only person, besides Kirishima, who was allowed to be that sassy with him. He took another moment to look at your retreating figure before joining the rest of his soldiers who were resting against the wall, waiting for his highness to be done with his business.
As Mina had her hand in yours and continued to talk your head off, you kept looking back behind you at Bakugou. Mina noticed that you still weren’t paying attention and stopped in her tracks. Her eyes traveled to where yours was and her eyes softened.
“Are you listening to me?” she playfully scolded, placing both of her hand on her hips as if she was mad.
“Yes, ma’am,” you said sadly, giving her your best puppy dog eyes. Mina knew those eyes but she wasn’t going to fall for them so easily. Bakugou’s figure was quickly disappearing, but Mina wasn’t budging. So you jutted your bottom lips out, adding to the effect and pleaded to her. Mina knew that she was going to let you go but just wanted to give you a hard time.
“Alright, just one!” she allowed and your face just brightened up. You dashed down the hall, as quickly as you could in that dress, straight into Bakugou’s arms.
Bakugou didn’t sense it at first. He thought your little makeout session was the last he was going to see you until after his work was done. He wasn’t expecting you to make a run for it down the hall to him. Bakugou only turned around when he heard running coming closer to him. As soon as he turned around, you jumped into his arms and gave him one last passionate kiss.
Mina smiled softly as the sight, her heart full of happiness and love for the both of you. Kirishima and the boys looked away respectfully to give you guys space. Sero had to slap Denki’s face away because he was just staring so obviously.
Before Bakugou could relax into the kiss, you already pulled away and returned to Mina’s side. For the first time in his life, he had no words to say. He could only stare at you in disbelief, but in the good way. He smiled, shaking his head and continued on his way in an incredibly good mood.
You returned to Mina’s side, feeling accomplished and you both giggled like little girls.
“Okay, okay. You’ve had your fun, your highness. But I really need to tell you about this war because I think it’s so interesting and I think you’d really like it. So…” Mina babbled on, getting really excited to talk about the history of the Kingdom. Of course you were listening but your mind still wandered to a particular blonde prince that had your heads in the clouds.
You were back in Bakugou’s room, getting ready for bed. You looked in the mirror, brushing your hair out and lost in thought. The date until you officially marry Bakugou was fast approaching and still, you hadn’t told him your biggest secret. Whether you tell him now or later, he was going to be angry. Nothing was happening yet. You don’t think the real princess knows. If she did, you were sure you’d be back at the palace by now. So were you safe? There is never going to be a right time to tell him. But was it best that you took this secret to your grave? Could you handle all the guilt? No. You had to tell him. Tonight, you decided.
You had just finished brushing out your hair when you saw Bakugou enter your room, making you gasp in surprise.
“You’re back already?” you asked, getting up to greet him at the door. He welcomed you with open arms, taking in your scent.
“I’ve got to get plenty of rest for tomorrow,” he said. Ah, that’s right. The ball to celebrate your engagement was tomorrow. Already?
“Oh, so you didn’t come back early because you missed me but because you were getting ready for tomorrow. I see,” you huffed playfully, crossing your arms and walked away. Bakugou grabbed your arm before you could walk completely away from him and pulled you in close.
“Stop. You know I missed you,” he said seriously. Your hand touched his bare chest, his warm radiating from his body made your heart race. No matter how many time you could see him shirtless or how many times you’ve touched him, it would still bring butterflies to your stomach.
The same thing could be said for Bakugou. It didn’t help that you were wearing a loose, fitting nightgown, leaving everything up for the imagination. Granted, he had already seen your naked body once, but it was only a glimpse. He didn’t get a good look before so he could only imagine what it would be like when you were under him, taking your naked form all in.
Bakugou scoops your face in his large palms, bringing you close to him until he places his lips on yours, the fluttering feeling in your stomach only intensifying. He broke the kiss for both of you to catch your breaths and claimed your lips as his again. His kisses felt different, like they had a purpose. His hands started roaming around your body, making you feel hot all over. It started on your back, then slowly caressed down to your waist and then over the curves of your ass. Your mind was filled with thoughts of him that it was driving you mad.
Bakugou wasn’t satisfied with just kissing you. He was craving more. Hungry for more, he moved on to kiss your neck but you tried to stop him.
“Wait, I need to tell you something first,” you grabbed onto his shoulders, but the way he moved his lips and how his tongue swiped against your skin was making you almost forget what you were about to say.
“Do you trust me?” he breathed, detaching from your neck momentarily.
“O-Of course I trust you. But it’s kind of important,” you said.
“Kind of. Surely it can wait till the morning,” Bakugou continued attacking you with kisses.
“But Katsuki-” Bakugou interrupted you by completely stopping his actions to look you dead in the eyes with the most serious expression.
“Do you trust me?” he asks again. You stared into those crimson orbs of his and sighed.
“I trust you. But-” you couldn’t finish your thought because Bakugou had turned you around so that you could see yourself in the mirror.
“Whatever it is you have to say, it can wait till morning. Right now, to me, there’s nothing more important than making sure you feel like a queen,” he declared, looking at you from the mirror.
---------------------------------------
Bakugou starts kissing your neck again, his soft lips coming into contact with your bare skin sent chills down your spine. You allowed yourself to submit to his touch, closing your eyes to heighten your senses to his touch.
Gently and deliberately, his hands moved to the back of your gown, untying the bow. He fingers wrapped around the silk fabric, feeling every knot come undone. He goes slow, feeling the curvature of your waist, then your lips, then all the way back to your shoulders. He takes his time removing your gown, admiring your bare shoulders and back that were now exposed. Your gown falls with a soft swish to the floor. The cold air made you shiver but Bakugou made up for it by his roaming hands that were so warm to the touch.
He feels up on your naked body again, this time roaming up the front, groping your breasts in his hands and then caressing your neck. His mouth moved from your neck to your shoulders. You could feel his tongue swipe against your skin for a more tingling sensation. You didn’t want to waste another minute. You turn around and kissed him. He holds you tightly in his arms, kissing you back with the most love. You pull him closer to you, guiding him to the bed.
You fell onto the bed, his arms falling on both sides of your head. Bakugou climbs on top of you, removing his cape swiftly without disconnecting the kiss. He then scoops you up in his arms, you hands fall to rest on his cheeks and the back of his neck. Your tongues tangoed together in a lover’s dance.
God, what was happening right now? You were completely naked, Bakugou was half naked at the moment. The ambiance of the room was intense and clearly getting more heated by the second. You had no idea what you were doing nor did you know what was going to happen. Everything was happening so fast, you didn’t have time to think. All you knew is that you didn’t want to stop. Your lower region became numb and tingly. You’ve never felt this sensation before. Everything was so new. Your mind was all fuzzy with thoughts of him, it was driving you crazy.
One hand roamed down to your waist while the other hand was busy doing something else. You could hear him fiddling around with his pants and the sound of it coming off. Almost immediately you could feel something hard hit your inner thighs. You jumped in shock, only imagining what it was.
You didn’t know anything about sex. You were so coped up in the palace walls and you weren’t educated on anything. The only thing you remember growing up was that you shouldn’t show your body to anybody but your partner. And that was only if you were married. But what were you doing now? You weren’t not married yet Bakugou was devouring you all over. His touch was so addicting and he was touching you in all of the right places. An unfamiliar feeling started in the pit of your stomach and there was an aching feeling in between your legs.
Bakugou broke away from the breathless kiss, saliva connecting your tongues together. He takes this time to admire your bare body. He never noticed how curvaceous you were, you were just perfect. Your chest was heaving up and down, making his eyes move to the mounds of your breasts. Your nipples were erect from how turned on you were feeling. Bakugou couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. Then he ventured lower and he almost groaned when your legs were already spread, ready to take him in. It was making him even more hard.
“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he whispers. He licks his hand and started pumping his cock. If he didn’t do something soon, his cock would explode for being neglected. He moves closer to your entrance but before he could put it in, you stop him by putting your hands on his chest.
“What are you doing?” you asked, panic starting to rise in you.
“You trust me, don’t you?” he asks. You nod your head. “I promise, I’ll make you feel so good. It’ll hurt for just a bit.” He warned. You take a deep breath, putting all your trust in him. He glances up at you. When you looked ready, he slid his dick inside you, all of it and fast. You take a sharp intake, surprised by his action and how much it hurt. So much so that you feel it in your throat. You grab onto his forearms for dear life. He leans down into you and whispers in your ear.
“Breathe, my princess. Just breath,” he tries to direct you. And so you do as you’re told. Bakugou doesn’t move and just stays still to let you adjust to his size. Slowly, you start to relax. You let your shoulders fall and allow your body to fully ease. The tightness around his cock eventually became looser. That indicated to Bakugou that that was a sign to move. Bakugou slowly thrusts into you. The feeling of pain was still there in the start, but the more you relaxed, the more you felt that pain turn into pleasure.
You started to moan, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You’ve never felt like this before. It was all new, but making you crave more of his touch.
Bakugou groans loudly at the pleasure. He loved the sounds coming out of your mouth, the loved how your tits bounced up and down from each thrust. But he loved how you clenched around him more. Fuck, he wasn’t expecting you to be so tight. You felt so warm and despite not prepping you beforehand, you were so wet. The sounds of your slick folds meeting his cock were sinful. Suddenly, Bakugou snaps his hips into you, making him go deeper inside you. You moaned loudly and threw your head back.
“You like that?” Bakugou’s voice was raspy. You nod your head enthusiastically, almost impatiently.
“I love that,” you respond. “Do it again.” You begged. Bakugou smirks and does it again. He lets his cock be free from your clench before slamming back into you. You moan loudly again and clench around him even tighter.
“Fuck,” he curses, continuing to slam his hips into you.
Your servant girls were nosy, as all servants were. They wanted to know the gossip. The girls were right at your door, ears pressed against the giant wooden frame. They were listening in and giggling to each other. Two masculine figures appeared behind them, clearing their throats intentionally. The mighty soldiers, Kirishima and Denki, made their presence clear. They looked intimidating, arms crossed against their chest to look cool, or at least Denki was. The girls bowed their heads and scurried off. Some of them looked back to see both of them guarding the door to give you two privacy. Denki took notice of some of the girls and gave them a flirty wave. They giggled again before leaving their sight. Denki smirked and tried to give Kirishima fist, but Kiri denied it, smacking his hand away with an eye rolls and shake of the head. Denki shrugs his shoulder and put his hands on his belt.
Bakugou thrusts into you with more force and more power than before, moans are filling the air, both yours and his. You claw at his back trying to get something to grab but you’re just leaving markings on him, which he doesn’t mind. All of a sudden, Bakugou pulls out, panting and clear frustration painted all over his face.
“Fuck, not yet,” he panted, holding his cock in his hands. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but you whimpered at the loss of contact. Wanting to feel something, you grabbed his face and brought him in for a kiss. The prince groans into the kiss, that being his last straw. He pulled out wanting to last longer, but seeing that you were impatient and wanting more, he had to please his princess. He brought your legs around his shoulder and thrusted into you, not giving you time to breath.
“Mhm, ah!” you groaned, separating from the kiss. You felt excitement rapidly grow in your lower region, a feeling so pleasurable you had no idea how to take it.
“Wait, Katsuki. I feel too good,” you warned him in between moans.
“I’m almost there, too,” he said, going faster to chase his high.
“Ah! Fuck, wait! K-Katsuki! AH!” The pleasure was almost too much for you. The feeling was getting larger and larger until you couldn’t take it anymore and just let go. You threw your head back and clenched your eyes so hard you saw stars. Your pussy clenched around his cock so tightly that it was Bakugou’s turn to let go. With one last groan, your walls were coated in a thick, hot, white substance.
You both stood still, able to finally catch your breath. Bakugou leaned down to touch noses with you, his beath on yours. You were so high on cloud nine that you didn’t think before speaking.
“I lo-” you began but quickly realized what you were about to say. You put your hand over your mouth to prevent you from saying those three magical words. Don’t say it, you thought. If you said it, you’d never be able to take it back. Bakugou takes both of your hands and pinned them above your head.
“I love you, too,” he leans down to whisper in your ear. Tears brimmed in your eyes, threatening to spill out. Because you felt so happy. So happy that you didn’t want this dream to end.
A/N: Spoiler alert: enjoy this chapter. Enjoy every chapter so far. All that serotonin you’re feeling? Soak it all up. Because this is the last fluff chapter you will ever get 😊
If you’d like to be added to the tag list, just let me know! And I’d love to know your thoughts, what you think of the series so far and what your expectations are for upcoming chapters! Do you want a happy or sad ending? What angsty scenes are you anticipating? What do you not want to happen?
Don’t forget! My requests are open until May 9th!
1. Send in a request or headcannon of any Boku no Hero or Haikyuu characters
2. I prefer angsty requests! As for headcannons, I'm down with any genre. If you are sending in a request, please be as descriptive as possible! Its hard to write when the topic is so broad!
3. FYI if alot of the requests are the same, I will most likely combine them all or only do one or two of them since I dont want to repeat alot of the same topics. It'll get boring: not only for the reader but for me as well
4. ❌No NSFW! Not experienced enough but I can hint at some sexiness
It would be really cool if you could send in some requests! I’ll be doing all of them to the best of my ability, you won’t be disappointed!
Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @melasnchz-things @animexholic @bkgwrites @sam-i-am-1025 @apexqueenie @katsukibabe @germfart3 @tspice283 @angie-1306 @bakugous-trauma @bakugousmrs @random-fandom-girl-24 @monetfatalia @triviajeongin @readingslumpfanfic @softredrobin @daddy-daichis @stardream14 @spicysherlock @cathwritestragediesnotsins @luvtaromilktea @aaannaabbanana @i-ameri-cant @shyonigirichan @aomi04 @anime-for-live @maggiecc @cloudsgathering @backoftheletter @moshi-moshi-angie015
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Text
Deaf MC vs Devildom
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A HUGE thanks to @jaywalk-on-me for reaching out to me about this subject. I really hope I have given this it some justice.
Also, to avoid some of the controversies inside the Deaf Culture: I will not be referencing cochlear implants.
And a note for my fellow hearing people, there is definetelly not much difference between us and deaf/hard of hearing people, in fact, after reading about it, I can hardly consider it a disability seeing it can actually allow them to percieve the world in a much different way from ours and would not have any problems in their life if only us, hearing peers, were cooperative and understanding. Everything we need to do is literally minor details and does not hinder our own lifes in the slightest, in fact, it can even help us too! An example is captioning, there is literally nothing to lose, and honestly, even I put captioning on movies of my mother lenguage because sometimes I just can't understand what is being said and captions really help me with that and enjoy whatever I am watching to the fullest! So let's be more understanding. We are all humans, and can all learn from each other's perspective.
And as always
Warning: Uncensored swearing lol, and reference to lesson 16
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Lucifer
Ah, yes, he knew about it, was in your files, nailed it, he learned your local sign lenguage, all good.
Except his expressions are so damn stiff.
He signs a 'Welcome to The Devildom' and I kid you not, you will not be able to tell if he is trying to be welcomingly polite (and failing miserably) or threatening you.
It was definetelly both
He gets better at it-
Perks if you like classic music though, because you will be able to give him a whole different way of enjoying it.
He won't force you to speak if you choose not to, but he sure will never stop being delighted to hear your voice if you do.
It still baffles him how observant you are, may start trusting you to find details he missed on certain things.
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Mammon
He definetelly forgot everything he learned on sign lenguage the moment he stepped out of the tutoring Lucifer made him and all his brothers, except for Levi and Satan, go through.
Yes he will mistake around 5 signs per day on the first week of your arrival in the Devildom.
And he will often forget that you most likelly cannot hear him (if his voice frequency doesn't match your hearing that is) and go off blabbing without signing and then just go "oi why ya ignoring me" and he definetelly is this close 👌to being wacked with the closest thing at range.
Again, he gets better too.
In fact, once he warms up to you (and that's like, real fucking fast) he will make so much effort to get things right, and he always pays attention to have captions in movie nights even without you asking??
He tries lip reading once when you told him it's not easy and, I will let it to your imagination what on hell he managed to lip read.
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Leviathan
As mentioned above, he didn't need the tutoring. Why? Guess what, he already knew at least a few sign lenguages, all because of the many animes, games and shows he has watched portray it, even though the ammount of representation is small.(btw I recomend DARK, there is a deaf&mute character and oh boi she's awesome, it's on netflix)
So he definetelly had no problem communicating with you, in fact, he was almost relieved.
He doesn't need to speak verbally?? He basically would rather spoon his eyes out than talk on the phone so on drug levels texting instead is like heroin????
And oh lord you NEED to invite him to the music festivals on the human world catered towards deaf and hard of hearing people, be will LOVE it.
A little bit of downside though, some of his expression changes are very subtle, but as he spends more time with you, he will start incorporating character voices into expressions and body lenguage instead, and you bet he enjoys doing it.
He will definetelly make music just for you. You only hear high frequencies? Or maybe only low frequencies? Or just nothing at all but you enjoy the rythmic vibrations? He definetelly has spend an entire night making a full fucking album just for you.
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Satan
Seriously, he knows so many sign lenguages it actually made his way of signing pretty unique!
Another fake ass who will give you gentlemany smiles at first. He may be a way lot more smoother than Lucifer but you bet his fake ass is not passing your vibe check, not with the way his eyes just feel a little bit not right.
Another one who gets better though.
It's kind of nice how he grows so used to signing while speaking that his hands often give off a sign or two even when he is speaking to hearing people.
He will definetelly roast quite a few half assed interpreters.
Also he may or may not have gotten a new obssession after you two watched a few silent movies together??
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Asmodeus
Oh boy this one needs to chill out a bit.
If you can't interpret signs when done too fast then good luck because his hands will literally be able to spell a full fucking paragraph in 20 seconds.
And oh how he explores your other senses.
Definetelly goes to you first to judge how he looks.
Also he is the best option to keep yourself informed?? I mean, it's also something he can relate with, it doesn't matter if someone killed somebody or just broke their nail, he needs to know about it.
He may be a bit disappointed if you don't speak but he gets over it quickly.
Will ruin many people's carreer if they so much as refuse to attent to you just because you're deaf. There's just nothing wrong with it??? Stop being so petty!
He is now your biggest distraction in mid class and you will definetelly end each day carrying at least 10 paper notes in which he will try to speak with you. They definetelly smell like whatever he smells like at the time. And are definetelly written in colored pen. With glitter. And there are hearts. And possibly a kiss mark-
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Beelzebub
Big boy definetelly has two types of sign lenguage he uses, and if literally depends if he is eating and what he is eating.
Normally he is just, normal lol. Since he is pretty much quite a bit of an amateur at it he will make use of speech filters a lot when he needs to remember certain signs.
If he's holding something big like a sandwich he will either just gulf it all in to have both hands free or try to make a simplified version with one hand. I'll admit the first scenario is quite amusing.
Yes some of the first questions he asks is how to spells certain foods.
And yes you bet you won't be able to know all of them because Devildom food is definetelly something.
Oh and get ready for a bit of chaos if anyone refuses your order because you're deaf.
Please tell him to flap his wings and proceed lay on him or hug him. The vibrations will be very much close to one of those massage chairs.
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Belphegor
Oh boy.
First off, he did NOT know about you being deaf because thanks Lucifer.
You guys definetelly spoke in a lot of exchanged notes under his attic door.
He keeps them all hidden somewhere but he will never admit it.
If you're willing to teach him at least how to say 'hi', 'good night' or things like that, he will appear to not be very interested but once the entire lesson 16 fiasco happens they're definetelly the only signs he knows about for some reason when he finally gets tutored.
Still texts you instead.
Even in the same room.
That's what you get from the avatar of sloth I guess-
He does sign a few remarks at you per example commenting on how the new hairstyle Asmo decided to make made his bangs look like a poop behind his back.
Also this:
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(The picture above actually happened and was translated to english from my mother lenguage)
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
Text
Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters 
Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one! 
IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!
Lucifer
Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.
Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.
Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.
Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.
Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.
Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...
Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.
Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.
One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.
100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).
Mammon
So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.
Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.
The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.
She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.
On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).
For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏
Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.
Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.
…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.
Leviathan
Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.
That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???
Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.
He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.
Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.
The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.
Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.
With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.
Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭
Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.
Satan
Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.
Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.
Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.
She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.
Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.
100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.
Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.
Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.
Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.
That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.
Asmodeus
Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)
Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.
Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.
He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.
His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.
Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!
Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.
He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!
Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)
Beelzebub 
….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.
Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.
Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)
You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.
That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too. 
Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.
Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.
Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...
Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.
One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫
Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.
Belphegor
Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!
Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.
Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."
Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).
Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.
Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.
The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.
Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.
Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.
Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.
He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.
2K notes · View notes
tobiosmilktea · 3 years
Text
 umpah umpah! smau
↪︎ bokuto x f!reader x iwaizumi
[021] — like a storm!
masterlist | prev. | next
a/n: swear my writing hasn’t been that good recently and i blame it on my lack of freetime 😔 anyway here’s 4.5k words of trashy word dump that i wrote in 2 hours ;)) also peep the tlc reference
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in theory, this picnic blanket was much too small for the likes of fitting a webtoon author, an editor, and a beefy volleyball player all at once, and yet, it still managed to fit two more to come join—tightly bunched up in the park at night as the crisp air temperature slowly drops. having a picnic at the cusp of autumn and winter was a definite mistake, but then again, perhaps they were used to it by now.
it wasn’t like the cold was bothering bokuto at this point anyway as his blood simmered with a boiling hot ichor. he had a death grip on his phone as satomi left him on read. all the volleyball player could do was roll his eyes and scoff as he taps your shoulder. akaashi, who sat on the other side of you was in the midst of speaking to you, yet was interrupted by the bright white light from the screen shone across your faces.
your eyes scanned the texts, feeling your lungs desperately yearning for air. her words suffocated you, crushing your airways as you struggled to breathe. perhaps you have forgotten how to at that very moment. they say it takes about three minutes for someone to suffocate from the lack of oxygen and if akaashi didn’t shake you, that probably would have been you. the fact that seeing that damn photo made your heart shatter more times than you could count over a course of the past few days. you couldn’t catch a fucking break, could you?
you had to look away. if you had stared at satomi in iwaizumi’s bed any longer, you would’ve screamed your head off.
“god, these cookies are so fucking good. i would literally marry these if i could,” kaori moaned into another bite of a matcha shortbread cookie. she practically threw herself over yuko’s lap as she reached in her little baggie for more. “these cookies are a godsend, (y/n), where did you get them?”
“this bakery right next to onigiri miya, apparently they make good lemon macarons as well.” you mutter. the semblance of seeing those texts was still evident upon your expression.
yuko doesn’t fail to notice the way the timbre of your voice had changed within a sudden moment. she gives you a look, “what’s wrong?” her words, careful and genuine filled you with something somber as bokuto handed his phone to her.
kaori grunts slightly as she lifts herself off of yuko, yet her body was still leaned over to skim the texts along with her.
it was a nervous habit of yours to fiddle with your fingers, picking and scratching at your chipped nail polish until it was all gone. you don’t remember when this became a habit, but you always did this whilst you waited for something you dreaded to hear the answer to. as if the nerves within you pooled into a wave, crashing back and forth like a tide until you either get dragged along with it or somehow manage to survive.
their expressions contorted into a nasty mixture of disgust and absolute horror. even kaori who has seen the despicable sweet-tongued manipulations of nicotine-stained fingers of incels had to shake her head and push the phone away.
“i never liked that girl from the start,” yuko scoffs. she hands the phone back to bokuto, watching him switch it off and dropping it onto the cushioned picnic blanket in annoyance.
“god, the amount of anger coursing through my body right now...” muttered bokuto, “i can’t believe she would do this.”
“at least she didn’t do anything to iwaizumi,” akaashi tried to reason. things were already so messed up, it was the least he could do.
kaori shakes her head, clearing her throat from the dryness of the shortbread cookie. “doesn’t matter,” her words were venomous and cutthroat, “she’s still a terrible person considering she got him drunk and made him tell her shit that wasn’t any of her business. what a fucking snake.”
you pursed your lips slightly, wanting to close your eyes and make this all disappear the moment you wake up. the chill of the night air had finally struck you. it was that sudden urge to run away as fast as possible, to escape the words you wholeheartedly wanted to leave behind continued to follow you like haunting poltergeists. and as if the tingling phrases of whispered memoirs of your mistakes weren’t enough, your own decisions whether it was right or wrong lingered back to both iwaizumi and bokuto. it’s heavy baggage you so dearly wanted to get rid of, but the solutions seemed so skewed and out of place for you to comprehend properly that even the chill in the air started to burn.
bokuto glanced at you with worry coated the emotions in his eyes. his hand reached for yours, lacing his fingers through your own as his palm—though rough and calloused—was warm against the biting cold of your hand. it comforted you more than you had expected with the way it was hidden from the others, almost melting when bokuto started to rub his thumb in little circles on the back of your hand and over your knuckles.
your hands were so soft, he had forgotten how much he liked holding them. he could memorize each and every detail just by admiring the way your hand looked so tiny next to his, yet they fit together like a glove.
you swore your heart was ready to jump out of your throat then. you weren’t sure if bokuto could even feel the way you squeezed his hand slightly as a silent answer.
“we should do something about it,” you say after a few beats of silence had passed, but it only comes out in a hushed mutter.
bokuto squeezed back, “like what?”
“i don’t really know,” you shrug while you shook your head, “just something that’ll make her learn a lesson or two.”
kaori gasps, “we should sue her!”
you and the others gave her a look.
“like seriously, sexual assault allegations are terrible especially since she’s a famous sports team’s physical therapist!”
“there probably isn’t enough evidence for that to work, kaori, considering they only made out.” yuko says matter-of-factly, “besides, suing someone is expensive and we don’t have that kind of budget right now.”
kaori braids over arms over each other in disappointment, “that’s lame.”
“yuko’s right.” you sighed, “i don’t want things to get out of hand and end up going public either. iwaizumi is already mad at the fact that i used him for a webtoon and surely being part of a lawsuit would only make it worse.”
it had come to a point that you had noticed how far everything has come. you wanted to laugh at how fast everything went downhill within a matter of months. the skeleton of your mistakes was just waiting for its last bits to fall and crush you.
there had to be a way to just make this—whatever this entire thing is to just end already.
akaashi opened his mouth to speak after keeping his thoughts to himself this entire time, “what if we just... get her fired?” he finished the last of his words in a blazing hesitance as if we would absolutely hate the idea. granted, it wasn’t much to work off of just by a simple proposal, but it had potential.
“we could, but how exactly are we going to do that?” bokuto asks curiously.
“didn’t you say that tomas recently got injured?” akaashi starts, earning a nod from bokuto to have him continue, “well if we want to be discrete as possible we could do it the old-fashioned way.”
yuko furrowed her brows as she asked, “which is?”
“if she keeps missing work or arriving late, she could potentially lose her job.”
kaori bursts out laughing, heaving a heavy snort as she mused at akaashi, “seriously? is that really our best option?”
akaashi rolled his eyes as she teases, “since you wanted to go the legal route, technically, it is.”
the girl’s laughter came to a slow cease, cocking her head in interest as she waited for one of them to elaborate.
“no yeah, there’s still a chance for this to actually work.” bokuto starts without a second thought. hell, he even forgot he was still holding your hand. “professional sports teams require their medical team to be at every game whether it’s real or just practice since the players are always at risk of getting injured. satomi’s known to be good at being there every day on time, so if yoji and their boss sees that she’s consistently missing work now for... let’s say—iwaizumi—and tomas isn’t getting treated asap, they’re allowed to replace her. and if you’re replaced, there’s basically no going back even if it is just temporary. and if that happens...” he pauses as he holds back a smirk, “she’s going to be fined legally with negligence—worst-case scenario, she’ll probably be fined for nonfeasance too.”
“whoa there, those are some big words, sir.” says kaori, “someone catch me up here?”
akaashi lets out a sigh, “nonfeasance means failure to do what’s expected.”
the sound of awe left kaori as she nods in understanding.
“is this really necessary? it seems like a lot of work just to get back at her.” yuko has always been a rational person, just like akaashi, but the only difference between them was that she liked to do things the fastest and most easy way.
“if we play our cards right, i think we could do it.” says bokuto.
“then i think we need all the help we can get if we really want this to work out.” akaashi said, craning his neck towards you to ask, “should i tell semi and suga about it?”
it’s not even a question for you to answer considering how obvious the answer was. of course, you had to tell them. they basically knew everything already, and if anything they’re the only ones who could make this plan actually work.
“i can also tell my team about it to help.” bokuto adds in, but you cut him a look, “only atsumu, sakusa, hinata, and tomas of course. i promise i’ll only tell them what they need to know. what do you think?”
“as long as satomi gets what she deserves.”
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you hated the way your thoughts were an endless motion of suffering. it had been keeping you awake all night as you tossed and turned. you couldn’t rest now as if a giant cinder block of forbidden serendipities would clash-boom-bang back onto you as it was being held by a teetering string of floss. it was bound to snap at any second. you yearned for even just a few minutes of rest as maybe these suffocating feelings would disappear once you woke up in the early morning.
it was still dark out—three a.m... maybe, but all you knew was that it was late and your flurrying thoughts were giving you so much residual energy that you needed to extrude. it wasn’t a form of adrenaline or a sugar rush, no, it was something else. your body was well beyond fatigued, but rather your mind was running like a brain on drugs.
there were so many things rushing through your head that it morphed into a jungle of tangled vines of plenty. it was a storming blizzard that couldn’t be calmed down as you finally pushed yourself off your bed, forcing your sheets off of you and sitting on the side of the matress. guilt was eating you alive, gnawing at your hollow chest as your semblance withered while the minutes passed. you just wanted for everything to just stop. please just stop.
maybe this is why you never told any of them. the stress, the consequences— you knew damn well that shit would hit the fan if you did, and yet it’s inevitable. the truth would have come out sooner or later.
ugh, why are you like this? you thought to yourself, dragging your fingers through your hair as you sighed out.
the answers were obvious, but it was the tingling of your lips that sent waves of heat to your cheeks as you recalled the kiss... the kiss! holy shit, the kiss. it hit you then when it played back in your head from a few hours ago when bokuto dropped you off at your door. something melted in bokuto’s eyes the moment you looked back at him, heat emanating from every inch of his skin as you tracked the tension in his body. he leaned over with his face just a few centimeters shy from yours and you swore he could probably hear your heart punching against your ribcage. bokuto could feel the warmth of your breath fanning against his chin and for a moment the world and all the problems in it seemed to disappear for a brief moment. before you knew it he kissed you gently as if it was his last. it certainly would be for a while, anyway.
“dammit,” you cursed in a harsh whisper, leaning over to switch on your bedside lamp in a swift flick.
you slapped your cheeks to force the thought out of your head as you made your way to your desk. you turned your desk lamp on with it’s bright yellow hue flickering slightly over your messy work area. it was scattered with paperwork and miscellaneous notes that it was surely beyond your mood to even fix-up.
usually, you tend to be pretty clean and organized with your desk space, and yet with recent events, you’ve been letting the work pile up instead. you’ve always liked the saying, this is something future (y/n) can deal with, but for once you hated yourself for it. besides, look where it got you.
a sigh escaped your lips when you plopped yourself upon your chair. your delicate fingers traced along the edges of the neatly bonded sheets of love cemetery’s storyboard. you started it earlier today with the help of the rest of the ddd team after the director of the project gave you the freedom to do so as usually, he would be in charge of making the storyboard and such. despite being rather chaotic on a daily basis, you were glad to be surrounded by people who always put a smile on your face while still getting work done. those were the best types of people to work with—friends that cared about you.
you guys managed to get the first fifteen pages done and you needed twenty completed panels in less than twenty-four hours. you were used to this type of pressure, especially while you were working on your webtoon. you were surprised how many times you sprained your hand from constantly working that the aching pain between your joints and your wrists were second nature at this point. surely, you would have carpal tunnel by now if akaashi wasn’t there to always nag you to take breaks.
with a few wrist stretches and cracks of your knuckles, you flipped to the next scene—the day you and bokuto met. your heart tugged slightly as you envisioned the scene you drew in your webtoon, slowly converting it into a movie scene in your head.
oh, how things have changed.
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your hand ached for mercy by the time seven a.m. struck. the sun had already peeked through the horizon, sending rays of sunlight through the blinds of your bedroom window as a greeting for the new morning. you had been sketching out the storyboard for five nonstop hours (give or take a few minutes in between trying not to let the different events in the story get to you).
you’ve always had a strange habit of ignoring the pain in your wrist, but now it was certainly unbearable. the lead pencil that was hot to the touch from the heat from your hand dropped onto your desk in a clatter. your eyes flicked down to your palm as you could feel the fatigue darkening your eyebags. your hands were practically alabaster from the constant pressure that it took a good moment for the circulation to run back into your hand.
you left your bedroom and made your way to your kitchenette. it was like your body was moving on its own, grabbing a mug, turning on your kettle, and tossing teaspoons of sugar in your cup for your morning tea as if you were on autopilot.
silence had surrounded you for far too long, you needed some form of sound to keep you sane from staying up all night and leaving you alone with your thoughts to just take over. sounds from the television hummed through the quaint air of your apartment in the lowest possible volume, just beneath the whistling of the tea kettle atop your stove.
you poured out the boiling hot water as your eyes followed the way the tea steeped through the liquid like a spreading storm.
the doorbell rang then, causing your head to swirl towards your door with slight confusion filling your expression. who would even come by so early in the morning?
the floorboards of your apartment creaked at your light steps as you trod towards the door, almost flinching at the cold surface of the handle as you unlocked it. you pulled the door open. there was that infamous morning chill in the autumn air that bit at your bare arms and legs. the heat from your apartment escaped at the motion as your breath hitched within your throat.
he looked out of breath and filled with fearful tension as his broad shoulders relaxed a bit at your sight. his usual soft brown locks that are always styled was tangled and woven into each other like a basket weave. hell, he looked as if he rushed immediately here the moment he woke up, all disheveled and almost desperate. poor guy didn’t even think to put on a coat before coming.
what the hell is he doing here?
“iwa—?” you attempted to say out loud in a harsh whisper that could barely leave your body in the first place. and yet, your voice disappeared into his chest as he pulls you into him, warmth engulfing you like burning ember.
you swallowed the lump forming in your throat as you froze. call it shock or just plain confusion but you couldn’t bring yourself to move your arms from the way iwaizumi’s embrace trapped them to your sides. just the plain sensation of the heat rising from his skin was enough to simmer down your awe as you finally managed to wrap your arms around him.
“i’m sorry,” he mutters into your shoulder.
you captured your bottom lip between your teeth. “i’m sorry too,” you say in the same matter, yet your voice almost sounded hoarse from the dryness in your throat. “i should’ve told you the truth.”
“and i shouldn’t have said those things that i said to you...”
a response would usually follow right after, but you couldn’t piece together the correct words and all of the nuanced phrases in your head to say into the air. your thoughts were too far cluttered and chaotic to even say anything more other than, “it’s okay.”
iwaizumi could only pull you in closer, hold you tighter, and leave his arms around you as if he feared that you would disappear out of his reach if he were to let go even in the slightest. he made the mistake of letting you go that one night many years ago and he has learned his lesson since them. he’s not going to take any more chances.
you two have been in each other’s arms for a while now, but you couldn’t find the strength in you to let go. you haven’t felt iwaizumi’s hugs in so long that perhaps you wanted to savor it a bit longer as well. like a little treat—a reward of a few minutes of peace after a thunderstorm of misunderstanding where all that’s left is the aroma of lingering petrichor of bittersweet nothings. you would like to call this a small victory, but something was off.
“iwa,” you say once you finally pulled yourself into your senses, “what’s wrong?”
“i did something bad, (y/n). i fucked up.”
you pull away from him slightly, just enough to be able to look at him in the eye but still be in the comfort of his arms. “what happened?”
“i was so fucking stupid, i shouldn’t have agreed to go with satomi.” oh, you thought as the words left his mouth. you pursed your lips together, forcing yourself to lock your gaze onto him as he spoke. “i ended up getting drunk and telling her everything that happened by accident.”
it’s okay, i already know. i already know, i already know. the words rang inside your head as you fought to say the words, but nothing was coming out. you did nothing wrong, it’s okay, it’s okay. there was so much hurt and betrayal lacing iwaizumi’s copper eyes that you feared anything you say (regardless if it was in his favor) would obliterate everything that just happened into dust. seriously, how bad would it sound telling a person that you were already aware of what they did? iwaizumi already had so many trust issues that you were treading on thin ice right now.
it really all came down to the question: do what’s right or do what’s easy?
right or easy, right or easy?
for years you have been choosing the easy route to undermine your problems. you always thought to yourself, if you had ignored the problem long enough, eventually it’ll all go away. it might have worked for the tiniest of things, but you should’ve known it would never work when you were fucking up other people’s lives from your own selfishness.
you didn’t want to be selfish anymore.
“we ended up sleeping together.”
you scrunched your brows in confusion, “what?”
did satomi lie then? did they actually sleep together?
“i-i don’t even remember how it all happened!” iwaizumi exclaimed in such urgency. he certainly didn’t want to make the gap between you two any bigger, “all i remember was that we kissed but before i knew it, i woke up to her in my bed but she was fully clothed.”
you sigh with a huff, trying to piece together the disarrayed parts together as you recalled bokuto’s words from last night, satomi doesn’t lie when it comes to sleeping around. the sentence wandering your thoughts as the boy before you continue to ramble. so maybe satomi didn’t lie after all, “listen, iwa—”
“you gotta believe me, (y/n), i didn’t mean to do it. when i said that i still love you the last time we texted i meant it—”
“haji, i said listen!” you huffed as you grabbed his arm. the sudden name change was enough to shut him up and possibly cause a surging red tint to his ears. you found it adorable, but you had to cut him some slack since you hadn’t called him that since high school. “last night i was with akaashi and bokuto.”
iwaizumi was already making a face before you could even start. “why were you with them?”
“just hear me out okay?” you pleaded.
he saw the aggression in your eyes and immediately shut up, nodding for you to continue.
“while i was with them, satomi texted us about everything that happened. she said that you guys only made out and didn’t do anything beyond that.” you explain, watching the slight relief softening his expression, “she ended up just sleeping over instead that’s why she was in your bed.”
you didn’t expect him to say anything when you finished your thought. it was a lot to sudden comprehend as you two just stood there waiting, swallowed up in your own thoughts.
“don’t blame yourself, okay?” you attempted to break the silence, “what satomi did was wrong.”
iwaizumi’s wandering gaze flickered back to you, fist curling up into a tight ball until his knuckles turned marble white. but as quickly as he felt the aching of his nail digging into his palm did he let go and let his shoulders drop. he sighs while he ran his hand through his tangled hair. he didn’t know what to say and the silence was punishing.
you parted your lips slightly as the words tickled your tongue. “this, um, might be too much to ask and you don’t have to say yes, but we need your help with something.”
“who’s we?”
“bokuto, akaashi, kaori, and the rest of my team.” you answer truthfully, “we’re trying to get satomi to face the consequences.”
iwaizumi nods, not hesitating for a second. “alright, i’ll do it.”
well that was easier than you thought.
you held back an amused laugh, hiding your smile behind your hand as you pull away from him. you made your way back to your kitchen as you had forgotten about your cup of tea from earlier.
“but...” iwaizumi trailed behind you as you sipped from your mug. “i was the one who made a move on her first.”
“oh,” you say. you definitely didn’t know about that small detail that sent ivy-like jealousy through your veins, “i mean... you were drunk so it makes sense.” you tried to justify without making your envy too obvious.
you turned away from him, fearing that he could see right through you.
“i kissed her thinking it was you,” he states.
your eyes widen then, slapping your cheeks that heated by the second. there was a grip around your swiftly beating heart, aching within your ribcage as you attempted to calm the roaring serendipities that threatened to bloom prematurely.
a composed sigh leaves you as you pull yourself together, turning back around to face iwaizumi with a meek smile. “cool,” you mused awkwardly as your brain search rapidly for a way to change the subject. iwaizumi moved closer to you, sending you into a mild panic, “have you had breakfast yet?” you asked out of the blue.
but before you could even fathom what he was doing, he cups your face between his hands and pulls you in.
your heart flutters and stops when iwaizumi pressed his lips against yours, soft and delicate as if you were the most fragile thing within his grasp. and you were. his touch against your jaw was light as it trailed down your neck. he could feel the raging ichor that soared through your veins like a wildfire while your hand that was splayed against his broad chest could feel the thumping of his heart against your own palm.
you pull away from him as he says, “no, i haven’t.” but it wasn’t to let him answer, rather, it was the thought that iwaizumi came second place again.
fun facts! —
yes. y/n did kiss both bokuto and iwaizumi within a span of a couple hours 💀 queen shit fr
after iwaizumi left, y/n immediately facetimed kaori and akaashi and told them what happened
it was definitely awkward between bokuto and iwaizumi when they saw each other, but it was harder to avoid satomi
(also by saying “iwaizumi came second place” means who was able to kiss y/n first not who won her feelings over)
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