#literally was gonna throw up like an hour later because i was like wtf

[makigorogoro]

update i met adam muto 😭

#lmaoooooo #for more context read my last post #this was at the scad student work screening #apparently he was sitting like right behind me and i didn’t notice 💀 #but my parents noticed bc i was with my parents #so my mom went up to talk to him LMAO #big ups to my mom #but i was fucking mortified i could not think #he drew me a marceline #and i got a picture with him #he was so nice omg #im having trouble processing that it actually happened #literally was gonna throw up like an hour later because i was like wtf #holy fuck :) #ok that’s all #adventure time #fionna and cake #idk if it’s right to tag this with those but whatever LOL

[hyuk4sbf]

txt as best friends 😔

this is so cute and literally my fave thing to talk abt aaaaahhhhh!!

yeonjun’s the friend who gives u upfront honest advice on your outfits, who throws his own clothes at u because no ur not going out looking like that!!!! he drives to your house when u send him a message about being sad, picking you up and taking u to get food and talk abt whatever’s bothering u :( he doesn’t care what hour of the day it is, he’ll be there!!! will let u play whatever music u want on the drive and compliments every song u pick!

soobin as a bestie i think would be very affectionate, and very attentive!!! attentive because he gets into all your interests, he wants to know what u like and why u like it, and most of the time he’ll end up liking it too!!! tell him every detail and he’ll recite it back to u weeks later! hes a good listener, so if u ever need someone to just listen rather than give u feedback, he’s ur guy!!!!

beomgyu is always eager to make u laugh. he’d love playing games with u online and discording until the sun is rising and his eyes sting from prolonged screen time. he knows when to be serious, so if ur ever having a bad day he 100% knows how to dial it down and do whatever he can to make u feel better !! will send u the stupidest videos unprompted, random shit he sees on his timeline that brings him to tears from laughter and he decides you need to see it too, even if u only send a simple ‘wtf’ in return

taehyun as a best friend would be fun and humbling. u can tell him absolutely anything!! just expect him to give u his honest opinion and even more honest advice. that being said, he will absolutely bitch with u at sleepovers about people u don’t like until u both eventually pass out. gossiping with u and making fun of each other is his favourite thing in the whole world he wouldn’t change a thing!

hueningkai as a bestie would be so excitable!!! he’s so happy to talk and talk about ur mutual interests, despite getting a little bashful sometimes that he might be talking too much. once u reassure him tho he’s back at it!!! he’s the type of friend to get some gut feeling of when ur having a bad day, and immediately makes sure to message u to check in!!! hugs u so tight ur afraid ur bones r gonna pop out when he sees u on a bad day :( my sweetheart

inbox here<3

#txt fluff #beomgyu fluff #yeonjun fluff #soobin fluff #taehyun fluff #hueningkai fluff #hueningkai x reader #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #yeonjun x reader #soobin x reader #txt x reader

[yakumtsaki]

How you holding up, Reggie? 

-I’m alright, Ether should pick up later in the day. 

NOT ABOUT THE CRYPTO MARKET, ABOUT YOUR BREAK UP

-Oh I got over that, life goes on.

Normally I’d be like ‘how can you be over it, it was 4 hours ago’, but you know what, I believe you.

Unlike Reginald, Eliza is having some difficulty moving on, as she apparently forgot that Reginald just caught her cheating and attempted to kiss him at the crack of dawn?? Liz wtf.

-New day, new me! -We’re broken up, Eliza. -Well I didn’t agree to that!  -You don’t have to agree to it! -Oh really?! Let’s see how this argument holds up in court for you. 

Liz, not that I don’t love watching you be a complete lunatic, but we have more urgent matters to deal with aka-

-THE FUCKING GLITCHED BUTLER IS GONNA CRASH THE LOT AGAIN. Bro what is my problem, I’m as addicted to hiring butlers as Reginald is to the ‘give financial advice on the internet’ action. 

Like I straight up had to trap him with Eliza inside a fence so she could fire him but then I immediately hired a new one! But it’s ok, I really feel Glitched Butler #7 is gonna be the one that goes the distance.

It’s Sophito’s Find Potential Dates By The Pavement Day! Ah, it seems like yesterday Cyn was in college and I was doing this with her💗 Are we ever gonna stop being degenerates💗 We begin with Jane Stacks..

..then Jimmy Phoenix passes by..

..then Roxie Sharpe! Ok everyone, it’s first-come-first-served, so form an orderly line, please.

Our Jane date goes pretty well, despite a devastating lack of chemistry.

-Oh Sophito, being on this magical kitchen-swimwear date with you is almost making me forget about Castor! -Castor? My uncle Castor? -HE’S NOT YOUR UNCLE, THAT SLUT BRITTANY BABY TRAPPED HIM

Ya ok, that’s enough out of you, Jane Stacks, move it along.  

It’s Jimmy time! Man I love Jimbo’s face, Sophito would you consider getting knocked up by him so we can get his genes? You don’t have to marry him! 

-Why should I be the one who gets knocked up??

I just told you, former-genius, so you don’t have to marry him and we can just leave him in college.

-Ya I’d much rather marry him, knock him up, and proceed to ruin his life. That’s the Union way! 

God whatever, forget about it. You’re the worst. 

-Oh Sophito, you’re so hot! -I know, but there’s someone even hotter here! -Me? :D -No, Roxie Sharpe, so let’s get this date over with so I can move on to her.

The. WORST.

Roxie had actually left by the time the Jimmy date ended and Sugar wanted to throw a party, so I was like ok, let’s invite all our dormie ‘friends’ and Sophito can go on a date with one of them. Unfortunately the dormies created a lusting-over-Sophito traffic jam and trapped Stacy there for like 1 hour while she was trying to get to class.

-Can I PLEASE just pass through? -Oh Sophito, please take me on a magical kitchen date! -No, take me, take me!

CLAIRE

-What? It’s totally harmless! Sugar and I aren’t even exclusive yet!

Does Sugar know that?

-I’m sure he does, subconsciously!

Boy do I want to find Sugar someone more dependable aka someone like Stacy, but he’s OBSESSED with Claire-

-literally all he does all day is a) follow Claire around, b) woohoo with Claire, c) throw engagement wants about Claire, d) do the cha-cha with Claire. You really can’t fight those 3 bolts!!

Other than Claire’s Sophito heartfarting, this is going shockingly great for a Sugar party???

June finally banged Erik..

Sophito keeps driving his remote control car into Wilfred and Eliza..

..(I’m not kidding)..

..Even Reginald is having fun! I just wish it wasn’t with Half-Alien Professor aka HIS FATHER’S FORMER LOVER (who doesn’t have her alien eyes anymore because I deleted a bunch of eyesets) BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO.

-Oh Half-Alien Professor, I feel so strangely connected to you.. What’s her name again?

It’s Trista and I hate that I remember it-

-BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. REGINALD WHAT THE FUCK

-My recent experience with Eliza proved to me that I need an emotionally mature woman.

WE CAN FIND YOU ONE WHO DIDN’T USE TO BANG YOUR DAD

OK SERIOUSLY STOP

SERIOUSLY STOP. 

I’M NEVER THROWING A SUGAR PARTY AGAIN

#gen 3 #ts2

[theloveinc]

🐌 anon -

Okay a few things and I’ll go cause I literally- this shit-

Bakugou has had a long day at work. When he came home he literally ate so much food you had cooked from him that the smell of food makes him sick. Afterwards he took a hot ahh bath and right when he laid in y’all’s bed and did that feet rub thing everyone does he was fucking out.

A few hours later he would hear crumbling a first he thought it was just the cat coming to bed but then he heard it again and it sounded like plastic. He swears to fucking god if that fat old bastard got into some FUCKING food or weird ass international snack you eat from your home country and gets sick and he has to rush him again to the vet ER he’s gonna kick YOURS and THE CATS ass. His bright red eyes would be glaring at the dark wall in front of him and he would look on his night stand to see it’s 2am- he has to be up in 2 hours.

He was ready to grab that bastard and throw him downstairs until he hears the bed shift and causes him to jump. He’s whip around so fast that it scares you and you’re looking around asking him what’s wrong and did someone break in or something?? THIS BITCH- This man is GLARING SO HARD AT YOU CAUSE WHY TF ARE YOU EATING A UNCRUSTABLE IN YALLS BED AT 3 AM- ITS LITERALLY FROZEN! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Also that song by ghost- Mary on the cross the lyric “you’re beauty never ever scared me” makes me think of bakugou with a s/o that has a “villain” like quirk that makes her look monster like. He knows people use to pick on her and that she always wanted to be a hero growing up but her quirk is seen as “too dark” and could “scare the public” or “make people uncomfortable” but he thinks you’re just so fucking beautiful that it physically hurts him.

I can see his s/o sitting in front of a full size body mirror just staring at themselves because they wish they were quirkless because they’re seen as “dark” or “monster like” and he just kneels down beside you and cradles your face while gently whispering how beautiful you are and how you’re absolutely too perfect and beautiful for this world AHHH GAAAAAAHHWD DAMN

This is making me YELL omg, Bakugo being so tired from work he just breezes through the house not even realizing what the hell is going on.😭😭😭 Probably on one of the days he has his normal morning or day shift after an emergency fill-in the night previous, he just... is so soppy + exhausted that all he can do is be sweet to you and let you feed and cuddle him...

Which is why, OF COURSE, he ends up assuming the crinkles are from the cat (me 24/7 w/ my kitten actually)...

I'm just imagining the argument too, LMAO:

"Why... the fuck... are you eating a frozen uncrustable.......... in my bed?"

"Your bed? And uh, you were the one who dragged me in here at 8:30."

"Be quiet. We usually go to bed at 8:30."

"Yeah, after having a conversation about it like any normal couple. You were drooling all of dinner, was like talking to a robot."

"Be quiet."

"You said that already."

"Shut up. Finish your damn sandwich. Gave me a fuckin' heart attack."

(And he's like, sinking deeper into the covers and glaring at you until you finish LMAOOO. Then you do the feet rubbing thing again until he passes out, AGAIN as;djfalksjd.)

-

And for the monster quirk idea, 🥺🥺🥺 Bakugo being so hurt that he's unable to make you see how lovely you are. He really has such a hard time imagining why anyone WOULDN'T think you were the most amazing person on the planet for having not only the coolest quirk ever, but dealing with the hardships that came with it, too.

Makes him LIVID, and no matter how scary people find you, they're gonna find him even scarier when he goes after them for making you sad. Yeah, Bakugo is absolutely monster GF's protector hehehe.

#bakugo #sorry for not getting into either of these much! two ideas in one is rough for me #the longer the post the more scared i am LOL #but these were sweet ideas #caitie things #🐌 #anon

[bishiglomper]

I feel like shit. Mentally and physically.

I think my mother seriously has some kind of personality disorder going on. This family throws around "narcissist" as often as autistic, especially about my father but now I'm wondering if thats not my mother. I think she's autistic sure, but the shit she did last night. Jesus. It went beyond misunderstanding.

She went to my sister, who was anxious, to tell her what she was doing for the house. I left. Because i was promised I could have 72 hours before thinking about it and i was determined not to do so.

I came back later to find my sister crying. She is overwhelmed. Being sick has her feeling like shes not going to be able to keep her end up because she's the one whos strong and does all the heavy lifting and labor intensive shit. She thought mom had come to tell her what she could do to lessen the load. My sister's response was something like "I'm not worried about your shit because i know you've got it under control"

Mother took extreme offense to that because she did NOT go to my sister to make her feel better, but to also be like "i dont know if I can take care of my shit" so she felt absolutely invalidated.

So obvious misunderstanding, right?

Mom comes in from smoking after this. She asks me to see her in her bedroom. I asked if it had to do with house things. She said yes. I politely declined.

She smoked again. I amended my statement, "if its about laundry or something I'll come but I'm not ready to talk about the house" thinking shes gonna tell ME her plans but i am very not ready to make plans.

Btw my sister made me shake and bake chicken so I didn't blow my bloodsugar up on pizza or something. I offer some to mom.

She snaps that she wants absolutely nothing from either of us.

..... Uhm. The fuck?

She blows up. Makes my sister blow up. Explanations come out because obviously they both had the wrong assumptions. My sister is very good about getting her point across without the use of nasty names or comments despite getting royally pissed.

You'd think mom would understand that obviously my sister meant her no invalidation over her worries, she was trying to be supportive but worried about her own responsibilities.

Round and around she went explaining how she meant no offense and that she felt bad she had hurt her feelings.

And after all that my mother is like "CAN'T WE SPEAK KINDLY TO EACHOTHER?" She says this twice.

And I had to watch my sister take a moment to compute how to answer that. Again. Because my mother was the one doing all the attacking? And she already said yes?

So where does that leave us? Groveling, of course. Wtf else are you supposed to do when you explain your intentions until you're blue in the face and they're still offended and want retribution?

Also I'm waiting to know just what tf I did to offend her too. Finally she turns to me and with the most heartstricken voice goes "I wanted to talk to you about your sister but if i can't even talk to you- what am i supposed to do if you're not in my corner?"

Btw whenever shit like this happens, if mom gets upset, she is obsesseed with me "being in her corner"

Btw she does not vibe with my style of support. Because i like getting both sides of the story so i can then tell her where the other side is coming from in attempts to quell misunderstandings. Because thats the logical (i.e, autistic) thing to do, right!?

But she literally takes this as being a "traitor". She called me one for YEARS after a fight with her sister until i told her that it upset me. She kept referencing it. Now she'll focus on the current affront instead of calling up past receipts. But still. I have learned to not say anything at all unless asked directly and otherwise pat her head and go "you're right, that's horrible what they did" even though it feels disgusting to do it.

But that's not even the worst part, once I got over my internal screaming, I said that i was promised 3 days of not panicking so i just didnt want to talk about the house. She pretty much said "WELL, YOU HAVE TO"

She pretty much left after that.

My sister then turns to me and says she is SO SORRY she did that

I'm like.. did what

Get into it with mom. Apparently it's been stewing.

She said things like "you do not get to be upset with me for having feelings" like. Completely mature and valid statements??

And shes just apologizing profusely to me.

I had to tell her she did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong.

Jesus. The trauma this family has.

So of course because my bubble had been violently ripped away, i got up, put my braces on and tried to clean.

Unfortunately I am one of those people who need steps written out and tasks clearly defined.

So I did the basic functions I knew how to do, which is always "trash, dishes, clothes". Anything else I come across not in those categories goes in a pile behind the couch to be sorted at a later date. I only got through 1/2 the living room before i started running into nephews shit, christmas shit, or shit otherwise not able to be thrown into the random piles.

At some point mom comes up to me. I am not happy with how she treated me. I did not want to talk to her. So I'm just working, politely ignoring her and instead focusing on my panic cleaning.

And she goes "has it been 72 hours?" Like what are you cleaning for?

And I literally stopped I was so fucking baffled. Like are you fucking kidding me?

I cannot take that question as anything but narcissistic. Autism does not explain it. It's just fucked up.

So yeah I'm dying to know wtf is wrong with my mother, this requires research. I would ask her therapist, we use the same one, but I don't think she'd tell me her diagnoses directly. She only shares things like that if its in a blanket statement like "you all have codependency" 🙄

But yeah I went to bed crying, exhausted, sick. Never got to play video games at all yesterday.

And I'm still offended by my mother which is hard to hide because I just. Dont want to speak with her. I just do not have the fucking energy to mask.

I got fed up with the nephew last night. He literally does not know how to respond to anything without backtalking.

His mom hands him food and is very neutrally like "you can have the tv for an hour" and his reponse is JESUS CHRIST.

I'm like No!! The correct response is "okay" or "thanks mom" not JESUS CHRIST. Stop talking to your mother like that!

I said all this riled up but I made sure I didnt sound accusatory or anything. Just very "LISTEN TO MY WORDS"

I don't like the behavior. Its not okay. Theres no fucking reason for it.

My sister always shuts me down when i try to correct his behavior, especially if hes being a straight up asshole for no reason other than to cause harm to his mother. Like he does this on purpose, he has explained it his own fucking self. And my sister said to let him do it because "she can take it"

And then she does the placating voice, the completely whipped "let me appease you, lord" voice and begs for how to make him happy. It's ridiculous and harmful as fuck! To all parties!

I am amazed by the fact that both of her children are even capable of being sweet lovely people. Because this type of child rearing has got to create complete assholes.

I mean, there's strategic skills needed in dealing with autism, of course, but that doesnt mean he doesnt still need to learn to control what comes out of his damn mouth. 😤😤😡

Whenever i try to explain that, he literally blames his father's temper.

Bro has a questional temper but he does not talk to his child like that. Or to ANYONES face. Or abuse him. He talks ABOUT people like the bigoted asshole he can be but i digress.

It's fucking terrifying to imagine what sort of adult this is creating.

#personal #long post #ranting #( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ ) sorry #talk about not being in moms corner who tf is in mine? at least she has a boyfriend she can rant at all i got is the cpid of tumblr #so i make it all yalls problem 🤣 #my sister asked if im staging a detailed coup #because i have apparently been typing for an hour #its therapy stfu #mental illness #family trauma #child raising

[iwannaban0nym0us]

so according to my friends my life is a romcom (which means the past 2 days have been a lot because it doesn't actually feel like a comedy when you're living it)

btw i'm exhausted and posting this in a half done state because i just need to put this out into the world and i may or may not come back to edit this into like actual coherent thoughts

like 5 6 hours of sleep

good morning text

felt like i was gonna throw up while eating breakfast

first ones at school

on the same bus

talked while explantion and intro stuff

kept canoeing by each other

game them my 3d printed snake

spent all of lunch together

pushed their boat off

i dropped my phone, felt like shit

we got back they were swimming i called my parents

i went over to ask for the snake back, still on the brink of tears, they didn't know where the snake was, them and another friend gave me a hug

they pulled me away from everyone and we talked, and i cried, i don't cry, esp not in front of people, they knew exactly what i needed, "you're not allowed to be worried about me when you're literally crying"

we went to get changed and then we played games

they found my snake and gave it to me and apologized for a stupid joke their (but kinda my) friend made about it and losing things

i did some kinda stupid stuff

some people who i kinda know in the grade asked me how i was doing so ok about losing my phone, at some point i mentioned to M that it was because to be ok about it i had to pretend it was ok and joke about it and like fake it till i make it

they told me that my asshole ex has no idea they hurt me

we acted like we used to and there was a soccer ball

they joked about seeing my cry (which was then corrected to seeing me be emotionally vulnerable) being something on their bucket list

we explored a bit, climbed a tree, at one point they wandered off and i followed after and i paused at the edge of the clearing and just really whished i had my phone because they just looked so pretty slowly walking through and just everything about the moment i was kinda frozen for a minute or 2 and then they turned around

us and friends ate blackberries

my friend confronted me about wtf is going on with me and M and told me to stop flirting with them

there was a campfire and i was so exhausted the guides talked for a while, at one point a friend came up to me and we talked about M and he said i should talk to them (later i found out that friend and the friend who confronted me were considering making a bet on us getting back together by the end of september, so uh wtf)

me and 2 friends slept outside and i told them everything and i knew that i had to talk to M and tell them that i can't deal with the in between anymore and i'm being too logical about everything and it's a stupid situation that's complicated and i hate emotions

i didn't sleep awful but i also got <7 hours of sleep, but the stars were pretty

i choked down a bowl of cereal for breakfast but couldn't get myself to eat any sausage or pancakes

i just kinda hovered around M for a while and kept trying to find the right time to talk to them because i wanted to make sure they were awake enough and ate breakfast and packed enough

i help some people pack up their tents i packed up my tent

eventually when (according to what the teachers had said) we only had 15min left and M me and another friend were talking to guide i pulled M aside and asked to talk to them and as we were walking away from the group i asked if they were up for a serious conversation and they wanted to say no because they had one w/ another friend last night but they ended up saying yes

we talked for a whole hour,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and the conversation still isn't really over

"i loved you"

i felt like i was gonna throw up

both of us talked to a mutual friend

we're both such logical people and want to know why their feelings changed but neither of us can figure it out

we're both so bad about pretending everything is ok and just convincing ourselves and others of that

they cried, like really cried

they told me that i'm a hard person to get over

apperntly i really didn't do anything wrong

they also had a really rough summer and wanted to reach out

we were both so terrified to see each other in person again

we both had a so much fun yesterday

we were both trying to follow the other's lead and that just spiraled

we don't know how to exist as friends

they told me at least 3 times that they still think they made the right decision to break up with me

i mentioned the breakeven line ("what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you") that they had as their status and they were like 'oh shit you saw that' and confirmed that it was about me

when we went back to school we both just pretended that everything was ok, and apperently they were also doing that over the summer while i was trying to feel things and then convicing myself that i was over them

neither of us has ever been through anything like this before and we're just kinda lost

i told them several times how much i trust them

we both really care about each other and neither of us wants what we have to go away

they didn't realize that i don't have a therapist and that led to them telling me how strong i am for making it through everything i did with my asshole ex and i told them that i don't feel strong and they said strong people never do

they know that they hurt me and they're sorry about that but also i can so how much pain they're in too and i can't be mad at them

we both wish that one of us was an asshole so this would be easier, or at least that i had fucked up in some way so that there was a reason for this

we both just kinda knew that if we made it through the summer we would be ok

they're just really really glad to be talking to me again

they feel like they're never going to be able to have a solid romantic realtionship, and idk the words for this one are hard, but like basically if what we had which felt so good and real fell apart then what kind of romantic hope do they have, and i didn't have anything to say to that other than they didn't lose me, and just for me in general that felt good to hear because it meant that they weren't lying when they told me that night that they had never felt like this before

we're gonna try and keep having conversations like this on a semi-regular basis because we still haven't figured out how to exist with each other and that conversation was something we both desperately needed, but also wouldn't have worked if it had happened sooner

i filled my friends in on the conversation and i could see that M was doing the same, and obviously we couldn't tell them everything because the conversation we had was just so long

and we wrapped up the conversation as we were shifting to the next thing and before we broke off into our groups they gave me a good solid hug

then we had some time with advisories, that then morphed into chill time for a little i ended up lying in the sun by M and their friend and one of my friend's boyfriend and then somehow i ended up w/ M's headphones on and they were queuing up music for me to get a sense of their music taste

then we sat in a reflection circle w/ the whole group (i was still listening to their music)

and then after that we went to grab lunches and i lost track of them and then i found them and they were kinda frazzled and looking for a mutual friend of ours and i could smth was going on and what ended up happening is them giving me their phone (so the music would keep playing) while they went to find the friend and idk what happened but i hope it all worked out

i wasn't able to eat lunch, i just like couldn't make myself do it, i did drink a caprisun and eat like 3 marshmallows tho and i talked to a friend for a bit and we were both going through it

then we had a 2 hour bus ride and i just listened to an audio book on my kindle and like half fell asleep and I looked back at M a few times esp when we went over the bridges because i know they don't like bridges

and then we got back to school and i said hi to a few freshmen i know who had gotten back at a similar time and had like one more conversation with a friend and one more with M and then i went home

and i haven't really done anything this evening and i wasn't able to make myself eat anything for lunch/snack (unless you count a singular pack of fruit snacks) but i did a reasonable amount for dinner

oh and btw one of my closet friends didn't end up going on the trip and has a non apple phone (plus just doesn't check messages often) so i can't fill them in on anything until tuesday

i still kinda feel like i'm gonna throw up (no where near as bad as when we were talking tho, because i was like convinced i was gonna throw up then) and that combined w/ the not eating much thing is scaring me

anyway it's 11:15 now and last night i got 6.5 hours of sleep and the night before i got <6 hours of sleep plus like all of that happened so i'm worn out gonna try and sleep now, sorry about the disaster that is this post

#me #friends #ex girlfriend #M #ex grayfriend #ex #personal #school

[hoe-imaginess]

just Hawks things

commissioned by anonymous. vaguely smutty hcs included 

True Bird Hours: he sleeps most comfortably sitting up with his wings fluffed and folded snugly around him, so he can nuzzle his face into them for the warmth

Yes when he’s got his boo with him, they are also invited to snuggle up in his wings

More birdie things bc why not:

He has an unconscious habit of picking through your hair: brushing fingers through it, fiddling with little pieces, nuzzling his face against it. He’s trying to preen you ok. Please let him. If you are not preened at least once a day… he has not done his job 

He also unconsciously fluffs his wings out and makes them a little bigger, more noticeable, when he’s flirting/talking to someone he finds particularly attractive. The bird instinct in him is screaming SHOW OFF YOUR WINGS SHOW OFF YOUR FEATHERS SHOW OFF YOUR PRETTY COLOR MMmmmm plsss look at this plumage bb

But he snaps out of it when he realizes what he’s doing because… omg it’s so embarrassing 

His sharp eyes also hone in and out when he’s looking at you because oof he is FIXATED on you. He likes what he sees he is looking DIRECTLY 

If you’re angry at him and lock yourself in the bathroom, he sits outside the door like awww come on babe. Don’t be like that. *slips a feather under the door to tickle you*

After a long day of hero work when he comes home to see you, he has either two moods when he gets into bed with you: he knocks tf out, or he can’t stfu 

You’ll really be out here trying to get some sleep and he is just running his mouth about all the hero work he had that day, how windy it was, how annoying one of his sidekicks was being—

Those intimate little forehead touches where you just… sit there and relax and simply exist together, eyes closed as you breathe in each other’s presence….. big Hawks mood. He feels so connected to you. He loves it

He doesn’t get jealous very often; he’s too busy for that and he knows how badly jealousy can spiral and ruin a relationship

But when he is jealous and feeling particularly beat up about it, he staves it off by keeping busy with hero work: something to take his mind off of the problem, so that he can think more rationally on it later

He simps for you so hard if you give him a massage. Hero work is tough ya know. He’s got a lot of tension in those shoulders and on his back. I mean, those wings are working overtime all day. Knead out all those knots in his muscles and oof you are getting his unmatched appreciation… and possibly his dick (because yeah, massages… get him really hard really fast)

He’s such a kisser. Kissing fiend. Serial kisser. Forehead kisses, nose kisses, NECK KISSES, throat kisses, hand kisses, thigh kisses (especially what‘s between your thighs)

He also cannot keep his teeth off of you: lots of nibbling and playful gnawing where he knows you’re most sensitive

That being said he tries REALLY hard not to leave hickies even though SHIT he really wants to sometimes. Sucking on that sensitive skin just below your ear reallllllllly gets him going. He wants to latch on and suck and bite while pressed up against you and just… wants to mark you up… whew it’s a struggle not to. His restraint is commendable 

Oh and yes he WILL kiss your toes

Let him worship those feet and ankles alright 

I’m not done talking about his kisses ok he’s such… a kissing expert. It’s unfair 

You want slow, intimate, tentative kisses that get your body hot and tingly and anxious for more? He will deliver. He loves lazy makeouts, and the little teasing nip he gives to your bottom lip just kajshkfjhsd delicious

But oh, you want hungry, desperate, wet kisses too? Yes please. He knows exactly what he’s doing. No awkward lip-sucking and no awkward tongue-poking in your mouth; he takes the lead until you’re dizzy from just the kisses alone. And his hands are running all over you while he’s doing it. You don’t even know how he’s giving you so much attention because you can barely think of anything but his lips on you, let alone put your own hands to work. When you try to reciprocate and reach for his pants you’re fumbly and clumsy because damn his kisses are literally breath-taking. It’s okay though, he’ll take care of everything. King of multi-tasking

Just imagine him giving you little nibbling kisses along your jawline until he moves back up to your lips, and bites the bottom one gently while looking into your eyes skjdhkjdhgd

Hawks is very sorry but marriage is not really on his agenda any time soon, if ever. Just being your man is enough for him

In fact, please tell people he’s your man. Boyfriend, partner, lover, booty call… yeah those are fine too

But your man? God… He finds that… extremely fcking hot

He has home-cooked meals like twice a year. He does NOT have the time. Honestly he wishes he did have more time, because there’s only so much on-the-go street food he can manage before he starts getting sick of it. No matter how delicious it is 

So if you happen to catch him when he’s free and wrangle him down for dinner, he’s shook. He feels absolutely PAMPERED when you cook for him. The food makes him drool but so does your cute ass cooking for him DAMN he feels so… he feels so Domestic™

You might need to… shoot him a text when you’re cooking next time so he can zoom by and grab a plate through your window. Domestic Fast Food. Give him that Scone App the Beef shit please he’s taking your food to go and he will bring the tupperware back later ok

His sidekicks look at him like… wtf?? when he returns to patrol with food. They’re like… Hawks, where did you get that? Where did you even go??

Him slurping his spaghetti: Uhhhhhhh sorry but I’m not sharing this

Oof it’s so hard for him when he’s missing you

He’s so horribly busy he’ll go weeks without so much as seeing your face. Every time he finds some spare time to go see you, even if it’s just twenty minutes, something comes up. He loves spending time with you but hero work has to come first

And forget keeping up through text or call. Sometimes he doesn’t have time for that either. Makes him feel like an asshole, and he gets these little pangs of anxiety when he thinks that you’ll start resenting him for his career, that you’ll start feeling neglected

He would definitely understand if that made you want to end the relationship though. It’s gonna hurt, but if that’s what you need, he understands—because those little pangs of anxiety aren’t just because he thinks you might leave him, but because he doesn’t want you to feel like you aren’t worth it

You are, you’re absolutely worth it and you’re absolutely a good and wonderful person. And he doesn’t want you to think otherwise just because he can’t give you what you deserve. Don’t let his busy lifestyle make you feel invalid because damnit he thinks you’re so valid and he tries so hard to let you know that

That being said… sorry, but he forgets birthdays sometimes

Doesn’t snore, even when he’s utterly exhausted, but just… sighs…. very cute-like

Otherwise he’s dead silent when he’s asleep, it’s almost scary. He’s alert at all times. Very light sleeper

One sound and he is 👁👄👁 awake

Lost his shit when he discovered snapchat filters because omg they’re so fun

When it comes to how soon he says I love you, it really depends

He falls fast and hard, which really throws him for a loop because he’s a composed and rational guy otherwise

He doesn’t have so much pride that he won’t tell you he loves you when he knows he means it. It’s just a matter of when he’s prepared to tell you

He doesn’t have one preferred nickname for you. He just has… so many. It’s like he spins a wheel every morning to decide what he’s going to call you

Sweetheart, honey, hon’, babe, baby, sweet thing, a simple girl/boy

The baby bird, chickadee, chick stuff is reserved for when he wants to see that sour, unamused look on your face because god they’re such corny nicknames and he knows it 

Rainy days suck because they weigh his feathers down, make his wings harder to flap and thus all the more difficult to get around with. His quirk is next to useless when there’s heavy rain so he’s out of commission the whole day. Just sulks around his agency until the weather clears 

But days of light showers are nice! Hawks loves giving his wings a little sprinkle, just a little cleanse. It’s so cute when he shakes the wings to dry them out

The first time he gets his heart broken… oof

He’s very socially adept due to his hero training. He’s also well-versed in flirting because that’s just part of the charisma he needs as a hero. Unfair as it might be he’s also not above charming people to get what he wants

But actual, truthful, organic romance?… He’s a little lost on that 

So when he finds somebody he really comes to love, only for that love to be taken away, he’s completely floored. It rattles him and it’s a brutal reminder of the dangers of getting emotionally involved with other people when he’s got such a complicated, demanding life. The heartache is too much and he can’t focus and he hates it

It eats at him for a long time. Something’s changed. He doesn’t take sentiment for granted anymore. He comes to fully respect—also resent—the way love can utterly change perspective

Romantically inept as he may be sometimes, he’s… still an absolute SIMP of a man 

Do not ever talk down to yourself when he’s around because he goes full cheerleader mode

He just wants to encourage you to find some of that self-love okay he thinks you’re fuckn PRECIOUS and DESERVING and AMAZING—how can you not see that you’re all those things???

He’s so proud when you start sticking up for yourself, or when you speak your mind. Even if it’s small, stupid things like actually telling the waiter that he brought you the wrong food instead of meekly going oh… ok… I guess I can eat this instead

like NO!! STICK UP FOR YOURSELF BABY!! He wants you to be the BEST you

And when he asks you “What do you feel like doing today?”, don’t even think about pulling some “Whatever you want to do, Hawks” bs on him because NOPE. Tell him what YOU want. Please don’t be afraid to have a voice ok because he loves it when you’re confident and clear with what you want

#hawks #takami keigo #hawks x reader #hawksy things

[tobi-momo]

A Comfortable First Date :)

@awmahleebakugou said:

okay so i’ve never asked before (god i hope your requests are open, i’m sorry if they’re not) but i found you just now and your writing gives me life. i hope i’m not missing any rules, but i wanted to req a kind of first date scenario (the date can be your choice but i’m thinking something out of their comfort zone that the reader kinda eases them into having fun and they actually end up having a good time) with bakugou, todoroki, and dabi. a fluff type thing with a fem reader. they don’t have to be all in one, they can be separate but i really wanted to see your take on this with bakugou. thanks for your time, and i hope you can do this req cuz i love your writing :)

a/n: dflhgdfjhgdfkjgh you make me malfunction omg- i jut started writing a couple weeks ago and to hear that you love my writing makes me smile so hard kfsdjgdfkjg omg ty <3 and, lucky for you, my requests are def open and feel free to come back any time! (if you do want to see my rules tho here’s a link: rules<3 (you didn’t req anything out of my comfort zone tho so dw )

Pairing(s): Bakugou x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Dabi x Reader

Type: Headcanons

Genre: Fluff :)

Warnings: cursing, youre uncomfy for a lil- but it gets better- FLUFF SKDJGFJSD dabi’s is SO mf short im sorry skhgdlfg

A Comfortable First Date :)

Bakugou:

Man are you glad yall came with ya friends-

You were excited, but anxious. you have never been on a date before, let alone the one and only bakugou katsuki, so ya. you were nervous asf

On the ride, the radio played loudly while you rolled the window down and caught the warm breeze in your face, you were just wildin out in the car, making katsuki laugh in hopes of relieving some stress

when you arrive, it was a different story. there were so many people and the water was dark, and this is gonna be his first time seeing *this much of your body. Your nerves were not helping

“Yo, Y/n, you nervous or somethin’?” Calls Sero, averting your attention from the packed beach

“Uh, no, not at all,” you smile walking over to the trunk of the car, picking up towels

kirishima and mina walk together to find a spot, denki and sero leave you and katsuki alone and immediately start throwing the frisbee around

‘god this was so awkward’ you thought, although it really wasnt, it was just in your head

“Here, give those to me,” katsuki whispers as he takes the towels from your grasp, taking notice of the way you rub your fingers together, the way you keep looking at the ground

He can tell that youre unsure, but he knows that you wont be like this for long- i mean- its bakugou, right?

once yall get to your spot, kirishima and mina catch up to you guys, talking about whats more manly yall cant convince me they dont do this- im convinced mina teaches him how to drink his respect women juice although we know he drinks plenty

You dont even have time to realize katsukis arms around your things, picking you up and throwing you on his shoulders

You play smack his back, laughing and yelping at the same time while he runs towards the water

“kastUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” all he can respond with is his laughter before he sets you down gently in the water

“What, you thought I was gonna throw you or somethin’?” he smirks

“Uh, YEAH? I DID! You scared the crap outta me, babe,” you laugh off, the water suddenly feeling a lot better than you thought it would

He’s still laughing, almost gripping his stomach while kirishima and mina join sero and denki with the frisbee

The face he makes when you splash water on him is-

hmmm

How do i say it

flabbergasted? no. thats a weird ass word. He was like that tho

His face was like 😂 > 😳 > 😶 > 😐 > 😑 > 😐 > 😏😈

yk? yk

He splashes back

hard

so skip to an hour later when you guys are tackling each other in the water holy shit this is soft i cant

yall are having a mf BLAST and yall ended up playing beach volleyball too- have yall seen the episode in avatar where azula, mai, ty lee, and zuko play beach volleyball?

ya basically that but yall actually have fun and its more playful- but yall DESTROY the other teams

you guys end up staying longer than expected and you sleep in the car on the way back with his hand on your thigh but shhh

Todoroki:

ok, this may be dif because i believe movie dates are awkward asFF and i just jfhfkg ugh yk

but anyways~

yall arrive to the theatre, buy your snacks and get your ticket ew ew ew ew

and you literally dont know what to do-

where do you sit? where do you put your hands? what do you do for the rest of the movie? all of these questions filled your head when you guys entered the room, it was empty

great.

You guys take your seats, the commercials starting while you guys start small talk

you and him make fun of the trailers while you guys are literally sitting down like 🧍🧍

So awkward even though yall are talking- like, who takes popcorn first, who gets to put their arm on the middle rest? just overcomplicating everything in your brain

until a skittle falls down your shirt sorry if you dont like skittles but cmon their skittles

coming out the bottom of your shirt, you pick it up, then look at shouto’s soft, playful smirk before he looks away like he didnt do anything

that cheeky bastard

so, you throw it back, knocking his head then falling down the seat to the ground 

he looks back at you with and incredulous expression- not a serious one, but a look of sarcastic surprised

when his hand grabs popcorn out of the bucket, your eyes widen and you quickly leap out of your seat, running out of the isle and up the stairs to the top row of seats, being chased by shouto, and eventually trapped in the corner before getting a face full of popcorn

“Shou!” you laugh out, and you can hear the faint sound of his giggles piercing through yours

Your hands are placed on his chest, and his have dropped down your forearms, holding you in place while you laugh into him

“What?”

“There’s popcorn in my hair now,”

“Oh,” he takes a gentle hand and takes the popcorn out of your hair, tossing it to the side

“This place is a mess now,” he adds

You just laugh it off, taking notice of the fact that the movie has already started

“Shou, the movie,” you point, him turning around to the big screen

“The movie’s boring”

“It’s barely started!” you chuckle

your voice was interrupted by more popcorn hitting your face, and Shouto holding the bucket

“You did not just do what i think you just did.”

“Maybe,”

“I’m gonna get you back for that!” you shout as he starts to walk back to your seat, you grab the box of candy and quickly open it, pouring everything on his head before rushing down the stairs to the other side of the room

lemme just say yall were kicked out PFT JSDHGFSDKJHF

ok but yall didnt care shsdlfsfg

you hung out more after that too, not wanting the day to end :)

Dabi: 

why 

on your first date

would you go

CLUBBING??

like- why??? 

when you arrived, you really do be FINE AS FUUUCKK and everyone is thirsting over you periodt get into it

and when you see him, his eyes widen, admiring your figure

you just smile bc you’ve never been to a club before and set your bag on the counter, taking a seat at the bar next to him

what do you do? are you supposed to order something orrrrrrr? are you supposed to talk? are you supposed to dance with him? like wtf

the most awkward feelings are making home in your stomach

just before you could rush off, his hand grabs yours, making your head whip up for your eyes to meet his, silently reassuring you

You smile before he stands up, and leads you to the dance floor, guiding you with your hips to the music

you place your hands on his shoulders, letting him sway you to the beat, before you turn yourself and dance on him, forgetting your problems

he smirks, running his fingertips down your back while you move your hips on him

after a couple drinks you guys were clicking, like really, really, really, clicking and you felt good

so did he, and he wanted to know you more, so after a couple more dances and drinks, yall were giddy and shi 😏

And yall decided it was time to get to know each other more😏😏😏

when you guys woke up with a hangover, you made him breakfast and yall talked ab everything under the stars omg yall are made for each other istg

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

thats it im sorry dabi’s is so short i just chugged rosé and im hanging out with friends be happy <3

taglist: @toosharkinternet @hitosushi @combat-wombatus @katsuhera @zerohawks

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha fluff #bnha x y/n #bnha comfort #bnha scenarios #bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou headcanons #bakugou scenarios #bakugou fluff #bakugou x y/n #dabi #touya #todoroki touya #dabi x reader #dabi headcanons #dabi scenarios #dabi x y/n #todoroki #todoroki shouto #todoroki fluff #todoroki x reader #todoroki x y/n #todoroki scenarios #todoroki headcanons #momo<3

[sketch--booked]

I wanna complain about how the ninja treated Zane in the first few episodes real quick. Specifically in Home. Since I have some beef with the ninja.

.

.

So remember that one time Zane froze the entire monastery without effort? Yeah, that was kinda cool,

Now I begin to get angry, You’ve been warned--

And the ninja, understandably, were upset and I can get that.

But then you see how they all kinda just--- treated him really badly all the time. I get it,, he’s got weird traits and does very “Zane” things (being unfazed to be in the bathroom with somebody, legitimately not understanding comedy and laughing at odd things, at least Nya and Jay weren’t watching a horror or slasher movie, and his famous sitting-in-the-fridge scene) but like--

They really gonna do this??

Laugh at the guy for what he wears and throw around the food he made for them? Even Wu, may I add.

Can I also call attention to Jay, who throws something at Zane.

AND LOOK AT HIM--

That is not a face of comfort? By any means?? Zane shows a very little range of emotion, in the early seasons especially. But when Jay throws his own food at him, he frowns. THAT’S EMOTION,, HE’S NOT HAPPY,,, THIS ISN’T A JOKE NOR IS IT FUNNY TO HIM.

And they just--Don’t even do a double-take.

I’m bewildered at just how horribly they treat him, in this scene specifically. Not one of them, NOT EVEN WU, takes a second to think about how Zane might feel in this moment??? IN FACT, If you listen carefully, you can hear Nya and Jay belittling him.

“He looks so cute in his apron!” and “Look at his face!”

THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEY’RE BEING CRUEL LIKE WTF THIS MAKES ME SO MAD--I HOPE THEY WENT TO BED STARVING.

.

So after this god awful display of friendship that makes me want to slap all the other ninja, we get the infamous Falcon scene.

Zane has his general neutral kinda-angy-lookin’ expression. So we can’t really tell what he’s feeling in this moment, but it’s his actions that follow that say everything.

He sees the falcon and is intrigued by it and actually smiles. Which is good! That’s emotion! Well done, Zane, you’re learning!

NOW IT’S THIS BIT---IS WHERE I GET REAL JUST---HHHHHMMM It’s in this moment, I wonder if Zane knows what a toxic friendship isghghgh I jest--

Zane is smiling when he sees the falcon fly off. He likes the bird but he lets it leave.

But then---

Zane takes one brief look back to the sound of his friends and without a second doubt he BOOKS IT--

So from initially seeing this, you get the instant feeling that he would prefer to follow a mysterious bird into possible danger, than go back to his friends who are still laughing in the distance. He obviously was going to return back to them, they tease his lack of returning later in the episode WHICH I HOPE TO GET TO. But that does say enough about his actual feelings towards the rest. 

Strange, possibly evil bird---or my friends who’re probably going to continue to laugh at me.

It’s a nobrainer that he’d follow the bird??

He’s not truly upset at them, I don’t even think that Zane has the capability to really be angry ngl,, but he still chose the bird over his “family” and that’s what makes me so angry at the ninja. 

And to those who say “He’s not upset at the ninja, he’s just curious and the fact that he essentially ran away from them, doesn’t mean he dislikes them” I say,,, That is fair. And I will, for the sake of not looking like a dick, argue for that.

It’s clear that Zane likes to know stuff. In the beginning, he’s been the smart one. Even in this episode Kai says “We like the guy, he’s really smart..” then complains about him being weird. And later down the line he’s shown an interest in learning, being the only one in season 11 to actually read about the desert of doom and the Mechanic himself saying he’s an inquisitive nindroid in season 12.

So it’s understandable if Zane was simply sating his curiosity. But how can you tell me that the previous event was not a deciding factor in choosing the bird instead..

.

I would now like to jump forward to when the ninja are at Lloyd’s tree-house (Can I point out that the first place the falcon took zane, was a tree-house. And the last was a tree house?? Anybody? okay just me--). 

And when they ask him how he found it; he tells them it’s because it danced. Jay then jokingly asks if it was a coo-coo bird, promoting everyone to--

IF YOU GUESSED “laugh at him” YOU’D BE CORRECT, HOW DID YOU GUESS???

When he does his info dump thing they don’t even bother, they just shrug in unison--which ngl I do find funny ghghgh

.

Now that’s where you’d think the Zane bullying stops right?

NOPE,, TIME TO BURN DOWN THE MONASTERY (this is a cool shot btw)

This is a good shot too, because it sets up that Zane will be a focus, and you can already assume it’s because, in some essence, this is Zane’s fault.

But then they go all out on him. They straight up tell him this was his fault, that he shouldn’t have followed the bird, he shouldn’t have been curious or try to help, that everything they had here is gone, and yell at him to his face “A teaching moment? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you get it? Everything is gone!” and it’s because of him.

In this moment they are taking out every frustration they had with him. They’re taking out every moment he’s gone into his own world and making their lives harder and that their home is gone because of him.

This is one of the very first, and very few times all the ninja have pitted against just one of their team. And it hurts. Because Zane’s reaction to this, his response to being treated horribly, having his food thrown at him like he didn’t spend likely hours making and planing it, like he doesn’t do the chores they probably wont do (taking out the rubbish earlier in the episode), is to go back to them like he wasn’t hurt by this at all. 

And y’know what could’ve solved this entire thing? What could’ve prevented the exclusion and the explosion that is their friendship. Communication. On both sides, neither of them communicated with each other. The ninja didn’t openly express their feelings towards Zane TO Zane, only Wu and probably Nya. And Zane never expressed anything, ever, like--literally nothing. His moment of most emotion is in episode 7 dammit.

And I just--This is an issue that’s followed through even to the new seasons. Honest to god some of the only times I can recall him actually expressing how he feels about something, is with Pixal, and when Kai persuades him to break his morals and cheat in the slug race. God please help me find more examples because I cannot remember anything else (I’m ignoring Decoded for the time being since the last episode of that was almost entirely “Zane therapy time”)

.

.

.

Imma end it here because my rant juices have stopped flowing and I haven’t slept in many many long hours and I really would like to collapse right about now.

So i’m not saying Zane has it worst, he probably doesn’t,, but what I’m saying is that Zane had a tough time in the beginning especially. After Kai became properly a part of the group, it was Zane that they outcasted. And because they wouldn’t actually talk to him about what they all thought. They didn’t take the time to understand him and only realized they missed him and how badly they’d been treating him when he was gone.

In the start, they were bad friends, they were horrible in fact. Zane tried, or didn’t. Where he didn’t understand people or social cues, he understood being kind and doing the right thing. 

The ninja did however work from this. As of this episode, they tone down the mistreatment and make a bigger effort to get the guy. And it’s all explained and finished in episode 7.

.

.

Overall, I really like this episode! I think the characters were great! I think the humor was great! I think the progression was great! I dunno why some o’ yall think I don’t like something because I hate it. I can hate-love something, and you’ll find there are a lot of things I hate-love in ninjago.

#this got real long real fast-- #ngl this was just going to be me remembering the icy training area #but then i got distracted by how they treated him #and then it turned into a rant #probably a stupid--likely biased--rant but whatever-I haven't slept well in days i'm tired dammit #ninjago zane #ninjago #sketch rants about something #that's what i'm calling it now #can you see now why zane is my favorite? i like unpicking his character #he's fun

[julemmaes]

Thoughts on Thomas and Alastair reading red white and Royal blue together in modern AU.

uhm yES PLEASE

This contains spoilers for Red, White and Royal Blue. Enjoy!

Imagine them in bed right after dinner cause they're one of those couples who ditch their friends to read

Thomas coming back home with this book Matthew and Cordelia have been ranting about for the past weeks

And Alastair is weirded out by the fact that he has two copies, "Why would you buy two?"

Thomas just shrugs, "I didn't. Cordelia gave me hers, cause she told me you'd spoil anything the second you read it."

They settle in bed and Alastair waits until Thomas is ten pages in to start his, cause Cordelia wasn't wrong about him spoiling everything

Thomas is a calm reader, only crying when you're supposed to cry and reading a book without having to talk about it for the rest of your life

Alastair is the complete opposite

He frowns and screams at the books and always goes to Thomas to make him read single sentences before starting to rant about what fucked up shit the characters are doing

Thomas usually doesn't understand anything of what he says, but he also stops doing whatever he's doing, focusing all his attention on Alastair until he just storms out of the room to continue reading the book

Alastair is also a ugly crier when it comes to books

And a thrower

He once hit Thomas by mistake and it was because of a character's death. Imagine his guilt just adding to his grief and picture a very distraught Alastair while he's being coddled by his boyfriend

Alastair has laughed and chuckled way too many times in Thomas' opinion, but hasn't commented on anything yet

Until, "Oh my sweet jesus, bOY YOUR GAY IS SHOWING."

Thomas has to laugh at that and turns towards him, "What happened?"

Alastair is shaking his head in disbelief, "Alex is hating Henry with every fiber of his body one page and then he's brushing his posters the next? He's dumb."

"He reminds me of someone." he mutters

Alastair ignores him

"I'm living for Henry calling Alex out on his shit behaviour." Alastair whispers at some point, with a large smile on his face

Something hits Thomas on the leg and when he looks up he notices Alastair with his eyes and mouth wide, "The cAKE!"

"Homoerotic frat bro mishap - gotta love this woman."

"Tom," he calls him, "have you ever hate-read my wikipedia page?"

"You don't have a wik-"

"But, honestly, who does he think he's fooling? This boy is dumb dumb." He laughs, "Mad stupid."

From time to time Thomas just hears "Stan Zahra." or "Stan Ellen." and he just smiles

At some point Alastair just screams-laughs and goes "I'm going to thROW UP ON YOU, I'M DYING." before falling silent again without any trace of amusement seconds later

Thomas is startled when Alastair screech, "BABYY!"

"What?"

"ALEX IS SAYING HENRY'S SKIN IS SOFT."

Thomas is enjoying the book just as much, but he can't wait for the moment when they both realise they like each other, so he just keeps reading

"Alex was fAST starting to see Henry as a human being and not some kind of monster."

"Oh my god, why is Alex being such a dickhead-"

After a few minutes of silence, Alastair gasps, bringing his book higher and buring his face between the pages before screeching again.

"WHAT'S GOING OOON?"

Thomas snorts with wide eyes

"HE'S CHECKING FOR HENRY'S TEXTS!!!"

After a while, Alastair turns to Thomas, brushing his arm, "Are you liking it?"

He nods, "I like the fact that Henry uses capitals at the beginning of his texts while Alex doesn't, it's the little things."

During The Turkey Scene™️ Alastair just loses it and Thomas has to stop reading to calm him down

"Oh god Tom fucking finally-" he turns to Thomas, "Henry looks fucking rested for once."

Thomas nods again, "And Alex noticed."

That makes a wide grin spread over Alastair's face

Thomas understands he's reached the New Year's Eve when all he can hear from Alastair are gasps and curses

"NO. NONONO. NOO!" Alastair hits Thomas on the arm, "Alex just kissed Nora and Henry ran away."

Thomas smirks, "Just keep reading."

"THEY'RE KISSING. GOD YES. THEY'RE KISSING."

"NOOOOO!" Alastairs screams, "WHY DID HE LEAVE WTF?!?!"

"Thomas I'm breaking up with you if you don't tell me now this is gonna be fixed somehow in the next three pages."

Thomas just clicks his tongue, shaking his head

"Wha-" Alastair just huffs a laugh. He turns to Thomas, pointing to the book, "Baby have you read this? Alex is- He thinks he's what now?" He's straight up laughing now, "Straight?!"

"He did what with Liam?"

"This is literally the gayest shit I've ever read in my life."

"Nah ha, I don't believe it."

"How can he think he's straight?"

"Oh god they watched porn together- HE JERKED HIM OFF."

Alastair just hits his head against the headboard, "I didn't think I'd have to go through the who the fuck am I in this book. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR JUST BY THE FACT THAT HE FUCKING CARESSED HENRY'S POSTERS."

"AND THEN THIS NEVERENDING LIST OF GAY THINGS."

Alastair panicked for a short time when Henry was seen with that blonde but started screeching again after a moment

Thomas bursts into laughter when he heard Alastair mutters God save the Queen

"'I want you on the bed.' OH JESUS CHRIST THOMAS IT'S US."

"Tom?"

Thomas turns when he hears the hesitancy in his boyfriend's voice. Alastair's face is red and he's biting his lower lip

"You okay? What part are you reading?"

"No, uhm," Alastair scratches his head, "can we -" he clears his voice, "Can we make out?"

Thomas blinks a couple of times, "Sure."

A heavy make out session ensues before they both can start reading again

"We need to buy cupcakes tomorrow." Alastair mutters at some point, chewing on his lip

"Thomas this fucking book is the best thing I've ever read. I'm loving it so much."

Alastair closes the book around midnight, but Thomas knows he's not finished. He doesn't look his way thinking he's just gonna go to the bathroom

When Thomas senses him move around on the sheets and lay his head on hip lap, he closes the book too and look down at his boyfriend

"What's going on? We just made out."

Alastair grunts in his legs and looks up at him, "You're my match."

Thomas doesn't understand, but he smiles and leans down to kiss him

He resumes reading and realises Alastair had read more than him when he reaches Alex's and Ellen's conversation about matches. Thomas looks at Alastair once again and pesters him with kisses

It's around 3am when Alastair starts yawning

"Alas, you should go to bed."

He shakes his head, "No, I'm not tired, I wanna finish the book."

"The book will be here tomorrow."

"I don't care."

He drops the fight, knowing perfectly fine that he'll never win this

Alastair can be quite impressive when he finds something he likes - especially when it's books

"Fucking homophobes."

"I'm gonna riot if somebody doesn't let Alex call Henry right the fuck now."

"HENRY ASKED ALEX IF HE IS OKAY? BABY WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU."

The end of the book is read so fast that Thomas can't keep up with him and is now more than 20 pages back

Alastair is a crying and screaming mess by the end of it and Thomas has never seen him so upset in their time together

He's just spoiled the whole book for him, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care that it's now 5am and they have work in a couple of hours, cause Alastair just looks his way with wide eyes and his mouth open as if he's just realized something shocking

"Oh my god, did Pez, June and Nora had a threesome in that hotel room?"

tsc tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

bold tags don’t work

@storysaremyreality @clara-sm @zoyalinas-nazyalensky @harryscameron @jamescordelias @grxceblqckthxrn @stitchkiss @ahiretsinging @allofmywonders @tremendousheadachecollector @tlh-tea @taco-taco-belle @city-of-fae @ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes @fclklcres @ghostlivvy @matthewwfairchildd  @abigneignenn @imherongraystairstrash @rednailpolishqueen @herondamnn @parababitch-herondale @silent-nerd @fairherondale @starryherondales @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @claralady @anne-reads @darkshadowqueensrule

#thomastair #thomastair headcanon #headcanon #the last hours #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomas x alastair #alastair x thomas #tlg #chog #cog #coi #cot #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #shadowhunters headers #fic #red white and royal blue #rwrb

[effeminateboyninja]

I would very much like to see the visa versa of the someone from from our world stumbling into Naruto post 🥺 ALSO I HOPE YOUR SEMESTER GETS BETTER YOU'RE GONNA PULL THROUGH I BELIEVE IN YOU TAKE CARE

i was getting ready to just post them myself so i’m glad you asked this lol!! we spent literally an hour discussing it. AND THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU 💚 so we laid a few ground rules to spice it up: they have to abide by our laws of physics and stuff, so no jutsus or inhuman strength, but they’re still incredibly fit and retain their martial art knowledge, what they do?? (let’s assume this happens around the last so they’re college age)

goes to college for “the experience”, doesn’t even know what their major is, becomes a frat boy

kiba and naruto, except naruto goes to class sometimes just to say he went. they live together and throw parties every weekend, then stay way past their expected graduations to keep playing sports

finds a major they’re interested in and actually dedicates themselves to studying

shikamaru - he lives with Kiba and Naruto and becomes a total stoner who does surprisingly well in all his classes. the catch it his major is PHILOSOPHY. he just shrugs when people ask him what he’s going to do with it

sakura - probably biomed, becomes a doctor because stick with what you’re good at, right?

hinata - she’s thriving in a ninja-free world tbh, i see her in like psychology or something, would be the kindest therapist

shino - easy, entomology major. almost gets kicked out right before graduation for trying to set the bugs free.

neji - we couldn’t decide what his major would be, maybe physics?? whatever it is he’s going all out, getting a doctorate and everything. becomes the young professor everyone thirsts over

gets a job/becomes internet famous because fuck school

iruka - this man was just destined to be a teacher. i don’t think he even got qualified? he just walked in one day when they needed a sub and they kept him

choji - becomes a mukbang youtuber

tenten - twitch streamer, probably plays overwatch and valorant

ino - INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER, probably streams on the side after tenten introduces her to twitch

becomes a pro athlete after some crazy walk-on try out

lee and gai - they break the world record for most olympic sports to medal in, i can see them doing motivational speeches and stuff too

does NOT adjust

kakashi - probably becomes a vigilante of some sort, he’s like “these police are useless??”, gai is constantly worried about him

gaara - he was like, the equivalent of a president and now he’s just some dude without eyebrows?? probably moves to the desert and becomes a hermit taking care of cacti

sasuke - sees the corruption in our governments and he’s like “wtf? it’s everywhere??”, joins a radical anarchist group, the gang sees him on tv a few years later because he got caught trying to like, b*mb a subway :/

follow up to this post

#temari and kankuro follow gaara to the desert to talk some sense into him but then they’re like #you know you’re right #naruto headcanons #naruto modern au #ebn; hcs #ebn; answers #anon #naruto

[butwhyduh]

Can I request sth more fluffy? Middle of the night cuddle with my boi Tim and fem!reader (*^*). You wrote some good spice now can I ask for some sugar?

Christmas party

Tim drake x reader

Christmas series 1

It was a cold still night in Gotham. One where the moon was visible and the air was crisp. You snuggled under your blankets on your with your heaters on high but you had a bone chill that wouldn’t disappear easily. You shivered and wished Tim was there.

He had patrol. The city never slept and this was a prime night for crime. It was a perfect night. Or a Gotham perfect night anyways. He had given you a quick kiss and literally jumped off your fire escape. Your scream was caught in your throat as you watched him rappel away. It never got easier to watch. It didn’t help you sleep either.

Your eyes finally started to get tired and your comfort watch-a-hundred-times Netflix show wasn’t holding your attention anymore and you fell asleep. The street below was surprisingly quiet even.

You woke to the sounds of something or someone outside your window. You couldn’t see out because of the closed curtains. You quickly looked at your clock. It was only 2 AM. He was usually out until 4. You reached for the bat you kept by the bed and quietly stood up as the window opened. Your heart beat quickly and you clenched the bat. Tim had been very certain that you should swing on sight of an intruder. Use the element of surprise.

Legs slid into your apartment and you swung. Hard. A soft “oof” sounded and they grabbed your bat.

“Sunshine, it’s me! It’s Tim,” he whispered loudly. You relaxed. “Good hit though.” Groan.

“Sorry Timmy! Are you okay?” You asked turning on a lamp. He stood in his suit, his cowl still on. He pulled it off.

“I’m fine. I’m just glad you protected yourself,” Tim said pulling off his suit. He put it in the hamper and came up to you. He gave you a little kiss. You moved to hold his hips and he hissed and pulled away. You pulled back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just kinda got shot today,” Tim answered lightly and you gasped. “It didn’t go through the suit though. I’m fine. Just a bruise. Not even a bone bruise. I swear.”

You looked at him in the lamp light and there was a blue bruise forming on his hip. “Timmy, what happened?”

“I didn’t duck,” he joked and you blanched. “Just some drug dealers. Red Hood was there and he took care of it. That’s why I’ve got the night off. Not the bruise. Sorta the bruise,” Tim grimaced as he climbed in bed.

“Red Hood then shot out their kneecaps and said that he’d shoot any criminals on sight if they were out tonight. Said it was ‘fucking Christmas so go the fuck home.’ So B thought it was best to have the night off of Red Robin,” Tim said laying flat. Your eyebrows rose at that one. He tried to hide a tiny groan as he adjusted to be more comfortable. You laid beside him careful not to touch him.

“Does this hurt,” you asked, gently leaning against his arm. You’d rather full on cuddle but you didn’t want to hurt him. Tim moved and pulled you close to him from the waist up.

“I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. It’s late. Let’s get some sleep,” he said rubbing his thumb on your back. You rested your head on his chest.

“Yeah, but I’m definitely worried about you because you got shot. Please, be careful,” you pleaded. He had a hard time looking you in the eyes. Guilt over making you worrying was a bitch.

“Of course, always. I’ll at least have patrol off for a few days. Give me a kiss,” Tim said hopefully. You leaned over and kissed him delicately like he was breakable. He was so strong but still only a human.

“If anything happens to you, I’ll beat Batman up myself.”

“That’s the nicest and most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. We’ll hang out tomorrow, before the Christmas party, okay Sunshine?” Tim said with his eyes already closed. He was severely sleep deprived and wasn’t going to be up much longer.

“Sure, Tim,” you whispered as his breathing evened in sleep.

——————————————

All morning, you both laid in bed and watched tv. Tim tried to get a little handsy but his hip was in more pain than he had anticipated and one touch by your hand had him almost jumping out of the bed in pain. It really was black and blue. But this was a rare moment to just cuddle with him and you weren’t missing it for the world. Tim was on the phone most of the afternoon.

The weather had changed from nice to sleet but the time you were getting ready for the party. You had changed and were finishing your look. Tim was throwing on a sweater and watch you had gotten him for his birthday. He pushed his hair back before it flopped right back in place.

“You’re beautiful,” he said suddenly like he was finally watching you. He meant it as a compliment but it came out almost like ‘who knew?’ You gave him an eyebrow. “You know what I mean. You look great tonight,” Tim said with some pink around his cheeks.

“Thanks,” you said giving him a kiss on the cheek. He groaned and wiped the lipstick off his pale skin. You smirked. He walked over to the coat rake with just the slightest stiffness to his walk to show how bruises up he was.

“Are you ready? Don’t forget your coat. It’s nasty out there. I think we might have to stay over at the manor tonight,” Tim said grimacing. “It’s okay right now but if it gets worse..”

“You sure?” You asked. You didn’t want to miss it but if the weather was awful you didn’t want to chance an accident.

“Yeah we’ll be fine. I can drive through just about any weather,” Tim said with a wink. You grabbed your coat and left.

Nude hose was a bad idea. It was frigid outside. You should have worn the fleece lined thick tights you had considered as you were shivering in Tim nice red sport coupe.

Wayne manor couldn’t come in view fast enough and you happily ran up the stairs and in the house from the parking garage. Tim chuckled and then grimaced when he tried to catch up.

“Careful on your bruise,” you reminded him. He nodded. The house was much warmer than outside. Alfred warmly invited you into the study. Bruce, and Duke were already hanging out. They were talking about movies and Tim jumped in. He didn’t get much free time but when he did, he was a huge nerd.

Damian and his friend? Girlfriend? Walked in and started playing chess.

Dinner was served in the dinning room. Alfred always made amazing food. A traditional mushroom soup. Apparently Bruce’s mother had it as a Christmas tradition and, while the boys barely touched theirs, Bruce happily enjoyed it.

You saw Jason and his date before he cleared his throat from your seat at the table. Alfred was so happy and quickly ushered them to their seat at the table. Tim held your hand as often as he could as the meal continued. His long fingers stroked the inside of your palm in a soothing way. Whether it was for you or him, you couldn’t tell.

Down at the other end of the table, Dick said something loudly and it took you a second to realize what was going on. He was proposing. Tim had a little smile as Dick stuttered his way through his words. That was new.

She looked at the box in shock. She wasn’t going to say no was she?!? You couldn’t handle the stress and you gripped Tim’s hand tightly. Dick literally pleaded for an answer and that broke the spell she seemed to be under and she said yes.

Kisses. Applause. Champagne.

Tim lightly squeezed your hand that you had relaxed and he smiled at you. You both were young enough that a proposal wasn’t an awkward thing to watch. You were seen as just too young. Dick and his new fiancé retired for the night and the party was moved to the parlor.

You sat on a stool by the billiards table. Tim and Jason immediately began playing a game while you talked to his girlfriend and Cass.

“So if I win,” Jason said a full hour later. By this time, Damian’s girlfriend had fallen asleep on his shoulder and Bruce had announced the storm too bad to travel. “I get the penthouse.”

“Sure Jay. That’s Bruce’s. But I’m willing to gamble it,” Tim said throwing his hands up at the ridiculousness.

“I accept terms,” Bruce said. Both boys looked at him surprised. “Whoever wins gets the penthouse.”

Jason narrowed his eyes at Bruce and Tim gave you a wtf look but neither questioned the decision. Jason played seriously. He was a natural. His rough upbringing had him playing pool in many hazy bars as a kid as well as the occasional trip to a bar on the weekend he enjoyed regularly. Tim just didn’t have time to play games. Plus he had a nasty bruise on his hip. Jason won the game easily.

“So the penthouse is mine?” Jason asked. Bruce nodded and shrugged. Tim softly coughed in his hand.

“If you’ll live in it,” Bruce said. Damian was carefully carrying his girlfriend upstairs.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

“I guess, deal?” Tim said confused. “Though you should owe me. You’re the one that got me shot.”

“What?! You got him shot?” You asked loudly. Tim blanched.

“Not my fault,” Jason defended.

“Literally your fault,” Tim countered.

“What did you do?” Jason’s girlfriend asked looking at him suspiciously. He offered her a sheepish smile.

“I might have said ‘what are you gonna do, shoot us?’ I meant me. Not Tim! He also has a bulletproof suit,” Jason said.

“That’s not in the report,” Bruce said slowly and both boys flinched.

“Good night everybody. Merry Christmas,” Jason said pulling his date from the room.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Bruce called down the hall. Everyone else took it as a cue that the party was over.

You moved upstairs to Tim’s old bedroom. A My Chemical Romance poster and Dragon Ball Z poster hung on the back of his door as the only personal items. You smirked at him when you saw it.

“I forgot that was there,” Tim groaned reaching for it. His pale skin was flush with embarrassment. You grabbed his arm.

“Leave it. It’s cute. It’s got personality,” you said with a laugh. He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. A complete nerd,” he said looking away.

“And you think you’ve changed since? You wear Spider-Man boxers under your suit sometimes,” you whispered in his ear.

“How do you know that?”

“When I pull them off of you..” you winked.

“Speaking of, having a hot girlfriend isn’t exactly nerdy,” Tim said getting a little handsy.

“Are you trying to get laid in your childhood bedroom?” You asked fake scandalized. He pulled you closer.

“Maybe.”

“Very nerdy to try and get in my pants right now with anime posters on the wall, Timbers,” you said pulling him towards the bed and into a kiss before he could protest.

#fns #dc #Tim drake #tim drake x reader #red robin x reader #Red Robin #yum #Tim drake fluff #timothy jackson drake #red hood

[yakumtsaki]

Due to being the most incompetent popularity sim the world has ever laid eyes on, as well as having a miserable personality, Shajar has been near aspiration failure for the entire freshman year. Now that we’re out of the dorms it seems the least I can do is fulfil her wish to throw a toga party, even though I’ve sworn off college parties since the Gunther Brittany Affair Disaster of 2017.

Most of the people we invited wisely elected not to attend, but thankfully Culturally Appropriating Drama Professor is here, with whom, you guessed it..

..Cyneswith has 3 bolts! Well we all knew that thanks to her disturbing grey hair turn on college would be the time that we would knock out at least 10 of the 20 simultaneous lovers she aspires to have. 

Boy, that escalated quickly. Also that professor literally looks like a male Rachel Dolezal. 

-Congratulations on falling in love with Ti-Ning right after he randomly made out with Gross Hippie Dude, Frances!

SHAJAR!!!

-What?! I’m just trying to make polite conversation, it’s called being a good host!

EW. I can’t believe we’re gonna have to fall in love with this creep. God, Cyneswith, why couldn’t you get a different hair color turn-on??

At least Cyneswith and CADP (Culturally Appropriating Drama Prof, I’m not learning his name) are singlehandedly saving this lame party’s score, because everyone else is being a giant flop:

A) Gossip about Gunther from literally 30 years ago, talk about scalding hot tea. 

B) Literally asleep, which is what I would do during this party as well. Relatable king Don.

-Man, I had a terrible nightmare that Cyneswith was cheating on me with Rachel Dolezal!

What nonsense! Just keep sleeping with your back turned to that window.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

C) Bullying Mickey Dosser to tears for no discernible reason. Or maybe because Shajar is into him and we’re getting a little jealous

-AS IF! Jealousy is a trait of cucks and weaklings! I just enjoy the pain of others!

Yea, and my pain most of all clearly!

I had Cyneswith ask CADP out during the party so we could maximize her aspiration point earnings and the guy seriously hits us with ‘maybe we should go out again some other time’, like he has a ton of hot undergrads throwing themselves at him but he’ll see if he can make time for us. God I hate him. 

We end the party while we’re ahead aka before Sophie’s bullying tanks our score, and Shajar is finally semi-content and will hopefully stfu with her whining for the time being. Good job, Cyneswith!

Right after the party a sports mania appears to have overtaken the house. First we have Frances of all people intently watching football, lmao. Secondly, wanna guess who rolled the want to get fit? Wanna guess??

Why Sophie you sly little vixen, I knew it! I knew somewhere deep down you were into Shajar!!

-For your information, BITCH, it’s because sports is my one true hobby!

LOL sure, sure.. I mean it actually is your one true hobby but I’m going to interpret it how it suits me.

Also boy are you bad at it. 

-Not for long! I’ll keep going! I’m gonna be the very best, like no one ever was! 

Ok well you should rest a little, you don’t need to become fit the very same night you rolled the want, who cares?

-I care! I can do it! I’m so close!

Yea I’m thinking I should have stopped you sooner and maybe working out for hours on end in the desert was not a great idea.

-Nonsense! Sophie Miguel knows no fatigue! Sophie Miguel knows no pain!! On an unrelated note, I’m just gonna lie down here real quick.

Ok so this was the closest I’ve come to a sim legit dying this run, like it’s all fun and games now but while it was happening I was freaking out. We don’t have the Reaper phone we stole from the secret society in the UUU house anymore, Jojo took it with him when he graduated, so it was seriously looking like this was it for Sophie. 

The night came..

..the night went..

..the repairman came..

..Sophie’s hunger need went..

..the afternoon came and with it the idiot mascot who clearly can’t feel a room..

..the night came AGAIN and that’s when Sophie woke up, literally a full 24 hours later. WTF. I’ve never had a sim passed out this long, I was losing my shit.

-But I’m ripped now and that’s all that matters!!!

Yea you’re also about to die, your hunger need is vermillion red!!! Run to the kitchen Sophie, RUN LIKE THE WIND

WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. WE ALSO DON’T HAVE ANY FOOD READY, FML, those savages absolutely devoured the pizza. 

An instant meal is thankfully enough to stave off death for a while. I have one of the other flops order a pizza and send Sophie to take a shower to drop her temperature- 

-which was a horrible call because I *assumed* that when sims are suffering from heat stroke they take cold showers, but that turns out to not be the case so I make it even worse!!! The mascot of death is looming like a vulture, waiting to cheer over Sophie’s dead body. FUCK OFF

The pizza finally arrives and Sophie takes one bite of a slice, leaves it on the counter, AND PASSES OUT AGAIN. At this point I have literally never wanted to cheat more my entire life.

-Well I say, my good woman, it looks like Sophie has fainted and is about to die!

-Oh well, more screentime for us!

Why do you two losers have heatstroke too, you haven’t done anything all day? Wtf is this, a localized heatstroke outbreak in this house only??

Finally, after what was the most this game has stressed me out in years, I get Sophie to bed, safe, sound, and mostly alive. I’m also instituting a house-wide ban on working out, it’s clearly an evil practice that causes nothing but woe. 

Here, chubby heat-stroke-desert penguin agrees!

#gen 2 #ts2

[stealingpotatoes]

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

///

ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon

#desmond (sorta) lives au #desmond miles #rebecca crane #shaun hastings #galina voronina #william miles #Assassin's Creed #THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK i saw it this morning and have spent the day wanting to write this down but being in lessons /: #i know it's a complete mess however you'll have to excuse me i got excited #you opened a can of worms darling anon #I know I just used it as an excuse to Go Off but uh... sorry lol #asscreed #potes wrotes #sort of #thanks for the ask! #the night that the sun came up

[ot3-watch]

Episode 1: The Nigerian Job Rewatch

Nate is so far beyond done at this point it’s hilarious. “I want to hire you” “FUCK OFF MAN I’M BUSY DRINKING MYSELF TO AN EARLY GRAVE”

“I need you to steal them back…” WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN VICTOR? WHAT, DID YOU THINK THE BEST INSURANCE INVESTIGATOR WASN’T GOING TO FIGURE OUT YOU WERE GOING TO DOUBLE CROSS HIM? He’s so stupid I can’t. 

“Parker is insane.” No. She just has a little trouble. Don’t DO THIS to her Nate.

“They work alone,” not for looong.

And… there it is! IYS. The most overused villains and this coming from a doctor who fan who sat through the daleks coming back EVERY SINGLE SEASON after being destroyed

Why do they all sound so weird? Like the dialogue does NOT sound normal

How tf did Eliot win in that scene tho? We see how long it takes him to fight later on like I just do not get it. ANd the tea isn’t even scathed? How? Everyone talks about The Big Bang Job’s shootout scene as being super unrealistic, but honestly, it barely registers compared to this one.

“You’re precisely why I work alone.” Yeah, because you’re at risk of falling in love otherwise Mr. Heart Eyes.

I’m remembering how much I did NOT like Parker in the beginning and I don’t like that. I love Parker but early Parker was eh.

PARKER YOU CAN’T JUST THROW THE GLASS. THAT’S EVIDENCE PARKER. YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE PARKER. SOMEONE’S GOING TO KNOW PARKER. 

You expect me to believe that Parker is a world class thief who wouldn’t think to count the haircuts? They keep making everyone else look dumber to make Nate look smarter which makes NO SENSE because honestly, it makes it hard to believe that the other three survived on their own without Nate to guide them. WHICH THEY DID! AND THEY WERE THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT THEY DID. WTF

“That’s what I do.” AKA THE MOMENT ALEC HARDISON BECOMES AN ELIOT STAN

JENNY 8675309????

 “I know you children don’t play well with others” He’s already a dad i can’t.

If they knew about this plan and had the materials to pull it off, why did no one think of it? 

ALSO HOW TF DO THEY GET THE MAKE UP ON SO QUICKLY IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

How did the burn scam even work? Like i get it, make him uncomfortable so he won’t ask questions but like… they thought no one was in the building? The elevators were shut down? Why did he not question it? How stupid????

The black king/white knight metaphor was honestly the worst part of the first episode like it bothers me so much and I cannot effectively come close to explaining why

Where does Nate live? Why is his place so fancy? HE’S UNEMPLOYED RIGHT NOW AND BANKRUPTED HIMSELF TRYING TO HELP SAM. “It’s a hotel,” my sister says. IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A HOTEL ROOM? ANd that doesn’t explain how he affords a hotel room that nice.

….Why didn’t Eliot just disarm Hardison? We know he can. I don’t get it.

If you knew the place was gonna blow, why didn’t you run Nate? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS NATE

Eliot��s already putting himself in danger to help Hardison up. YOUR HONOR THEY’RE IN LOVE. THEY’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND THEY’RE IN LOVE.

“Do you trust me?” NO. NO NATE. NO I FUCKING DON’T.

I feel like passing that phone through the grate should not have worked.

YEAH HARDISON. MUG IT FOR THE CAMERA

Eliot’s accent I LOVE HIM “Can you hold, son?” FOREVER FOR YOU.

How are the state police so fucking stupid i can’t

They literally… they just dumb everyone down to make Nate look smarter and it SUCKS

Ah, the first Hardison safe house. 

“You won’t get within 100 yards” HE’S ELIOT FUCKING SPENCER I BET YOU ANYTHING HE CAN

“He didn’t pay us… I take that personally.” I-- Parker if you’re dead you can’t make more money. Parker? It’s important to me that you know this, Parker.

The websites they’re looking at are so obviously fake. 

Nate? Nate it’s just a picture. DUbenich can’t hear you, Nate.

“He used my son” I cannot explain how much overexposure has made me NOT CARE ABOUT FUCKING SAM

“What the hecks a Sophie” That, Eliot. That’s a Sophie. 

Honestly? My favorite character introduction in this episode. 

WHY DO THEY ALL TALK SO WEIRD IN THIS EPISODE? THEIR VOICES ARE SO OFF WHAT THE FUCK?

“I’m a citizen now. Honest.” YEAH FUCKING RIGHT IN WHAT WORLD

Eliot with the snacks, he’s always bringing food to his fam it’s amazing

“That’s an odd thing for you to know” “That’s an odd place for you to be” ...why am i reading a sexy sort of tension in there???

And Nate’s SMILING at it

Ok but how does Nate know about plane schematics? 

Sophie’s accent… none of them are that accurate but this one felt especially weird

Eliot playing the IT tech is everything

Also the reference to the IT Crowd by Parker is *chef’s kiss*

HE’S SO CUTE THOUGH

I’m just a simp for Eliot Spencer okay?

“I know you’re manipulating me, Anna.” Yeah but you’re still gonna fall for it, aren’t you? You stupid, stupid man.

Eliot’s so sweet though. He’s just trying to make friends. 

Like really though, he’s so standoffish and stoic, but the second he has the chance, he tries to bond and he’s so gregarious. Like, it makes so much sense that he has so many friends all over he place. 

“Eliot, we’re not friends,” STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE NATE. I HATE YOU NATE. HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND NATE. 

Hardison gliding by in the wheelie chair… he’s such a goof and a mood and i love him.

...Hardison… Hardison you can hack anything… Hardison why didn’t you put them in the building directory? IT’S A DIGITAL DIRECTORY YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT THIS WAS SO UNNECESSARY

Nate, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU!! hoW DOES HE NOT GET ARRESTED???

THERE”S A COP CAR RIGHT THERE HOW THE FUCK DID THAT WORK

...is there anyone Sophie doesn’t have sexual chemistry with in this episode? Like, seriously, i think it’s just Hardison. She and Nate are obvious, and she and Eliot have that moment, and then… did they not put them in the directory just to have Parker and Sophie make heart eyes at each other for a few seconds?

HOW DID ANYONE WATCH THIS SHOW AND EVER THINK SOPHIE AND PARKER WERE STRAIGHT THO

Dubenich sounds like Wallace Shawn and looks like Stephen Moffat and I HATE HIM. Wallace Shawn is great, and i love him but DUBENICH CAN DIE

This looks like such a boring party why would anyone want to be there. THERE’S DAY DRINKING FOR GOODNESS SAKE EWWW WHY (okay maybe i just hate alcohol. I hate it more in professional settings.)

“Sir, I can take your underpants.” OKAY HIGGINS. WEIRD FLEX BUT OKAY.

Parker and Hardison look so smug walking out of the building i love it. 

...why don’t you want the money Nate? YOU COULD GET A LOT MORE MONEY NATE. TAKE THE GODDAMNED MONEY NATE

And today on “I Will Never Understand the Way the Stock Market Works…” Like i get the basic idea but like… how do you make money if it’s gonna fall that much? HOw.. how does this work?

NO THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION TO EXPLAIN ECONOMICS TO ME I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET

“Somebody kiss this man so I don’t have to” you will. One day, Eliot, you will. 

So, fun fact. Supposedly, their score was $32,761,349.05 each. Which doesn’t really seem like a lot of money to me? Like, at least definitely not enough for Nate to do with it what he does? Like, maybe I just have a really difficult time fathoming that much money? Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d love just a taste of that but like, also? It really seems like not so much? … And further on “This blogger does not understand budgeting.”

ELIOT JUST ADMIT YOU WANT PART OF A TEAM

WHY DOES SOPHIE SOUND SO WEIRD??? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay, also, i have a question. These people, at the end, this is their first client, right? So why does it look like they haven’t seen each other since they took down Dubenich in the homecoming job? WHAT?

The SUITS THO

OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: 6/10. Not the best Leverage episode, and certainly not the best character episode. There were a LOT of kinks to work out. Things got sorted too well. And I REALLY HATE NATE THIS EARLY ON. I’ve also never loved the “this guy is an asshole but he’s smarter than everyone else and really good at what he does so it’s fine” trope that you see in so many shows like Leverage. And they really really dumb people down early on to make him seem smarter. But like… there’s a reason I kept watching, you know? Also... I remember why it took me a while to warm up to Parker and Sophie. LIke, they’re badass but I still took a while and I remember why. 

#leverage #leverage ot3 #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #pilot episode #the nigerian job

[baoshan-sanren]

NiF semi-live blog eps 2-6

I’ve watched the first episode like 3 times over the course of six months so idk what I can even say about it like

I think it’s only after the third watch that I finally understood what’s happening and definitely remember everyone’s name and/or title

also i’ve had prince jing for 5 seconds and I would commit mass murder for him

did anyone else have to pause the scene where mei changsu meets prince yu and the crown prince just from the overwhelming second-hand embarrassment? 

mei changsu, sweetie, i’m so sorry these bitches are like this, oh my god

and they just don’t stop 

ah yes, bicker with each other instead, that makes it less mortifying

GRAND EMPRESS 

OH MY GOD SHE RECOGNIZES MEI CHANGSU WHEN SHE RECOGNIZES NO ONE ELSE

bitch, no one told me i’d be crying in 2nd episode of this damn drama wtf

like i knew this was a serious drama but this train of emotion in the first hour and a half? not okay

i assume the princess has to know who he is, right? no? 

I guess not

I have to know if prince jing is as blunt as he sounds. i’m learning slowly, and i still suck, but i’m def getting an impression that the dude doesn’t waste words

ahhh general meng definitely recognizes our boy, and we’re only now finding out that mei changsu looks different than he used to so I guess it makes sense no one else recognized him 

and immediately general meng is like “you’re in danger, move in with me” 😂

“who has the time to help you? who would help you knowing it’s a crime?” dude, you… literally just offered to do that

i love how the princess is all like “this man is a mystery” and then the camera pans to mei changsu sleeping in a chair with all the graces of an old arthritic cat

i would die for him 

“You didn’t even tell me you were coming. how am I supposed to help you?” aww meng dage, you’re just a big ol’ softie

I can’t believe I waited all this time to have english subtitles on viki just to acutely feel the lack of mandarin subtitles

watch my stupid ass hop from russian to turkish subtitles just in case I’m missing something in english  

HE CALLS HIM XIAO-SHU

dude, this is really kind of cruel, they basically want mei changsu to decide who his ex fiancee is going to marry? like, I get that no one knows who he is, but still

can I just say that baili qi is my kind of man. good for you sweetie, you’re doing great

two ladies going into labor at the same time? more likely than you’d think

this whole story is bizarre, they just… mixed up babies like that? so jingrui might be a prince, but he might not be a prince? 

“we’ll just share him” the emperor says, and no one bats an eyelid

i have a feeling that this will become less confusing at a later point in the drama (i hope)

the main theme song fucking slaps, I’m already getting a dopamine rush every time i hear it

so jingrui about to have his ass handed to him by baili qi

and my boy mei changsu is over here just calmly peeling a fucking orange like it’s got nothing to do with him 😂

I KNEW I RECOGNIZED THE DUDE WHO PLAYS BAILI QI he was in both and the winner is love and the wolf

if he lands one good punch, jingrui is gonna be out for the count

meanwhile mei changsu

*munch, munch, spits out a seed*

have I mentioned that I would die for him?

this shit doesn’t seem fair tho, like i get that baili qi is um… a bit larger and stronger than anyone expected but still

you shouldn’t just get to whip out a sword bc you can’t beat him

THE PEOPLE SLOW MOTION SCRAMBLING OUT OF THE WAY AS JINGRUI COMES FLYING AT THEIR TABLE jghfdghdjhfks I know it’s not supposed to funny but I’m shrieking 

it’s been three episodes

i’m fucking hooked 

choosing to throw your support behind the unloved, frequently overshadowed prince, is something that can actually be so romantic

seriously tho, if someone could just go ahead and give prince jing a break that would be great

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT STUPID TWAT ACTUALLY DRUGGED THE PRINCESS

oh dude, I am so disturbed by this whole thing

there should be a rule where you get to slap the imperial noble consort if she does something that fucked up

is that supposed to be translated as the grand empress? not empress dowager? PLS GIVE ME MANDARIN SUBTITLES

fhjgdksdhfdkslaljsdh when the emperor finds out how sima lei got his legs broken 

“that seems fair”

oh come ON just get off prince jing’s dick for like 5 minutes would it fucking kill you

fuck

of course prince yu would swoop in and take the credit for saving the princess (I assume mei changsu planned it that way)

but I bet you money that prince jing misunderstands and feels betrayed

oh sweetie

THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL BL PAIRING WASN’T IT

WASN’T IT

my romance radar is tingling all over the place on this one

yes he’s angry but it’s not his fault pls be nice to him

I DON’T WANT YOU TO USE THEM AS STONES IN MY PATH

OUCH DUDE

how about you try and be a little nicer to mei changsu too??? 

“pls be direct” does prince jing know how to be any other way?

we’re negotiating boundaries this is good

this is a whole ass fanfic just waiting to happen I caNNOT have another obsession right now stop it with the goddamn tension

oh my god so prince jing is upset because these methods are exactly how mei changsu (MY FRIEND HE SAYS) and his own brother were framed and “killed” MY HEART

pls I want to wrap him in a blanket and feed him soup for a year

THIS FUCKING CONVERSATION

THE SWELLING MUSIC 

GOOD GOD

yup crying again

I blame @wangxianbunnydoodles​ @hunxi-guilai​ and @merelhyn​ in that exact order

you guys suck I don’t need this

awww jingrui is just a giant puppy isn’t he?

okay you know what? when prince yu absolutely loses his shit he’s actually kind of funny? and likeable? I can’t believe i’m looking forward to him getting frustrated/pissed off in the future 

oh my god I’ve binged 6 episodes what is happening

#瑯琊榜 #lang ya bang #nif #nirvana in fire #i haven't slept a wink in 24 hours #but on the bright side #i haven't thought about the vaccine either