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reginaaxxwrites · 8 months

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How Long Will I Love You (Severus Snape)

Okay, first of all, I know some of you don't like Snape but as for me, I have mixed feelings about his character. It's because his character was portrayed differently from the books. He was not a villain but he was not a good person either. I won't justify the fact he bullied his students. I do like how flawed his character is. And that's why I created a one-shot about him to show my appreciation for his character.

Also, I wrote this because I was listening to 'How Long Will I Love You' by Ellie Goulding and I thought of Snape and Lily. And I think that this song just really suits Snape because of his love and loyalty for Lily.

*****

Severus Snape x Fem!Reader

Warning: none just fluff and angst (i know angst again)

*****

I didn't mean to.

I never meant to.

Everyone, I, myself included wondered why I fell in love with Severus Snape. Trust me, I question it every day and every night.

He's vile and vicious. He's a Slytherin. He's evil and weird and vicious-- wait, I already said that.

I was sitting at the Courtyard and I saw him walking with his Slytherin friends. Everyone rumors that they were practicing Dark Arts without supervision. They say that Professor Slughorn doesn't know about it, but some say he was the one who's supervising it.

While they made their way to the corridor, his eyes met mine. Our gaze is locked for a couple of seconds before he looks away. He changed throughout the summer, I can see that. His hair, of course, remained long. His nose was large yet a bit slimmer than before.

He looks less...greasy.

I snapped out of my thoughts when my friend, Jane snapped her fingers in front of me.

"Who are you looking at?" She raised her eyebrow.

"No one."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." I took a bite of my chocolate.

"I will choose your partner for this Potion Project. Any objections and points will be deducted." Professor Slughorn said while the students groaned in annoyance. I was one of them.

I admit that I am not good at Potions. Well, some of it is passable-- just like Professor Slughorn's comments on my Potions.

It's a wonder why I am good at Herbology yet awful at Potions.

"Evans with Goodwin." I looked at my friend Jane who was partnered with Lily Evans. They were both excellent at Potions so there wasn't any problem with that.

"L/N with... Ah, yes. Severus Snape." My heart dropped when our Potion's teacher mentioned his name.

I saw his face and he wasn't thrilled to be my partner. I could say the same thing to him. I frowned as I made my way to his side. It's not like I have any other choice. I don't want our house points to get deducted because I refuse Severus Snape to be my partner.

"Start up the cauldron while I go get the ingredients." He left at my side to gather the ingredients for the Sleeping Draught Potion. I didn't protest since he left before I could say anything. I start up the cauldron just like he said.

When he returned, he started to work on the ingredients.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him.

"Just look after the cauldron. When I hand you the ingredients, you put them then mix it the number of times in my book says." He answered. I nodded at him and did what he asked me to do once again.

The Potion was perfect. Of course, it would be since it was hard to make a mistake when you're partnered with one of the best students in Potion's Class.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, L/N. It was a group activity." With that, he left.

I didn't expect him to chitchat with him so I let him be.

Jane went to my side and clung her arm to mine. Together, we walked out of the Potions Classroom.

"Did everything go well with Snape?" She looked at me as if she was seeking a piece of important information.

"It was...less horrible, I guess."

"Really? And...was worth the time to be partnered with your secret crush?"

"Yes-- wait, what? No! I don't have a crush on that guy! What makes you think of that?!" I rumbled at her as she laughed at my expression.

"What are you laughing at?!" I frowned at my friend.

"Please, Y/N. We've been friends for 7 years now. You don't need to deny it. I see the way you look at him." She wriggled her eyebrows which made me frown even more.

I don't have a crush on him... Maybe he became more good-looking this year than the past years I saw him. But I don't have a crush on him. I don't...

"Do not frown. You've been looking at him like you would drool all over him since the term started. Everyone's been whispering that he indeed looked good, even handsome after the summer break. I guess he had a late puberty hit." She giggled.

"Drool? Are you mad? You are mad." I groaned at her. She's wrong. I've been looking at Snape since the fifth year. But she doesn't need to know that.

There have been amount of times when Potter and his little friends bullied him and I was there. I feel bad, really. I wanted to step in and help, like the Hufflepuff, I am. But he doesn't know me. It'll be weird. Besides, he has Evans.

But I guess, shortly after that scene. They were not friends anymore. At least I heard so.

"I am not mad. Perhaps, you are. You fancy the man who seems to be mad at everything, anything. Look what cost him. He lost Evans just because she was trying to defend him in front of Potter and his idiotic friends."

"He was embarrassed. Have you seen his face? Sure, it was wrong of him to tell Evans a mudblood. But maybe..." I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from talking.

"You're defending him. We don't really know what exactly if he actually meant it."

"Yeah... I just hope he isn't what people think of him."

"I don't know. Maybe, he is. Considering he is friends with Evan Rosier, Regulus Black, and other Slytherin folks that are loyal to..."

"Voldemort."

"Don't say his name!" My friend scolded me.

"Sorry." I apologized. "Do you think he's a death eater?"

"It's hard not to think that he is not." I hope he's not.

Oh, no.

How did I end up getting stuck with Severus Snape?

I used as many spells that would unlock the door but it seems none of them were working. I looked back at Snape, who looked like he was bored. His arms were crossed, looking at me intently. He looks amused. Bored but amused.

I frowned at him.

"Well? Do you know any spells, any counter-curses? We can't be stuck here!" I told him but his face remained the same.

"Snape! Talk!"

"I am not a dog, Y/N." He finally said. "Be quiet and let me think."

So he was thinking. I hate him.

I leaned my weight on the wooden table near me and far from him. I looked at him while he kept looking at the door in front of him.

Even with his long hair, it looks soft. It doesn't look greasy as they say. It looks really smooth and soft-- merlin, why do I keep saying that?

"Prank."

"Pardon?"

"This was a prank."

"How so?" He looked annoyed as I kept asking him questions.

"This was a prank, stupid girl. I was supposed to be stuck here alone as soon as I entered and closed the door behind me. But you..."

Did he just call me stupid?

"I..."

"I didn't need your help," He said. He looks angry at me.

I knew some of the students in our year were planning to trap Snape in this classroom. But I didn't know exactly that their prank was a powerful kind of spell that not even an alohomora could open the door.

I tried to approach him but the door was already shut behind me. And now, we're stuck.

"Who said I was helping you?" I rolled my eyes, trying to sound confident.

"Then why are you here?"

"I-I left something here..."

"And that is?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I looked away.

"My quill."

"Do you know that this classroom is abandoned?" Ah, he caught me.

"I come here often." I continue to defend.

He didn't say anything else. This was the first time we had this long conversation. I heard him sigh as he ran his fingers through his long black hair. I felt my cheeks burn.

He's...handsome.

"Why do they hate you?" I asked to break the silence. I don't even why I bother to ask him a question when I know he wouldn't answer them.

But to my surprise...

"Everyone hates Slytherin."

"I have friends in Slytherin and I don't hate them."

"Why am I not surprised that you don't hate us?" I don't hate you.

"I'm not trying to surprise you. But I ask if you know they prank you often and harm you even if it's just for fun. Why...don't hurt them?"

Snape studies my face. His eyes looked into my lips, nose, and then my eyes.

"It's worthless." I want to hurt them. I want them to suffer. I want them to be physically and mentally hurt and suffer. They deserve it—all of them.

I stared into his eyes, reading his thoughts. That he doesn't mean what he just said. There's pain, bitterness, and hatred.

"Don't read my mind."

"I'm not. I am not a skilled Legilimen." I do read minds. But not too deeply. My dad taught me before I died.

"Then, stop."

"Sorry."

"Lily..." I covered my mouth. I didn't mean to. I...

"I told you to stop." His voice was cold and stern. He sounded mad, really mad.

"I'm sorry..."

"You're not." Yes, I am not.

"I am."

He looked away. I tried not to read his mind, so I just looked away from him.

"How long do you think this will last?"

"When the professors realized we're missing." I thought he was being sarcastic but he's not.

"Oh..."

It's been 3 days since Snape and I were stuck in that abandoned classroom. And it's been 3 days since Jane has been pestering me about the incident.

"For the last time Jane, nothing happened." I groaned as I stopped fixing my plate with waffles with maple syrup and blueberries.

"Not even... a kiss?" My cheeks started to burn as I thought of him and I pressed our lips together. I snapped out of my thoughts by realizing I was putting too much syrup on my waffles.

"No!"

"So like both of you sat in there in silence until everyone realized you were both missing?"

"Yes. Well, no-- please don't make me say anything."

"Y/N L/N! You read his mind?!" I shushed her.

"Jane! Sometimes I wish you didn't know that I'm a Legilimen." I finally took a bite of my waffles.

"What's like reading his mind?"

"I don't know... You know I feel uncomfortable reading into people's minds unintentionally." I looked down on my food.

"I know."

"All I know is that I get to understand him a little." Jane nodded at me as she finally took her first bite of her food.

While we were eating, I could feel someone was staring at me. My eyes landed on the Slytherin Table and saw him eating his usual breakfast. A boring toast and black coffee. Our eyes locked together. He looked at me intently and I realized he had already practiced Occlumency. It's only a matter of time before he can master Legilimency.

I saw his lips form a small smirk. Although I am not really a skilled Legillimens and I could only look into people's minds a gist of their memories, I am quite excellent at Occlumency.

He can't read my mind. That, I can assure of it.

There's an upcoming war. People start to pick sides. But I'd rather choose to keep my family safe. My parents wanted me to leave Hogwarts. But I couldn't. I told them we'd only leave after I graduated. And that's 3 months away.

3 months and I'll we'll flee the country. Far away from him like mum said. Maybe we'll stay in India. Away from the war, from Voldemort.

But do I really want to go with them?

I looked over at Snape in his usual seat at the Slytherin Table. He was alone while reading a book whatever he was reading. His eyes watched mine.

'Are you okay?'

'Get out of my mind.'

'Snape, please.'

'Not picking a side is also choosing a side.'

'I am not joining you.'

'I'm not asking you to.'

'Then what are you trying to tell me?'

'Don't go...Don't leave.'

My eyes widened, still looking at him over his table. I wanted to go over to his side and talk to him. But he didn't want me to be seen hanging around with him. So, reading each other's minds has been our form of communication these past few months.

No one knows about it. Not even, Jane.

'Why?'

He didn't answer and just stood up. I saw him leave the Great Hall. And soon after I followed him.

"You didn't answer my question." I closed the door behind me when we both entered the same abandoned classroom we both got stuck in.

"I don't see any reason to answer you."

"You told me not to leave, Snape."

"Forget it."

"What are you not telling me?"

"Leave." He said without looking at me. His back facing me.

"No. Not until you tell me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Snape." My tone became stern.

"You need to leave."

"Severus. Please tell me what's wrong. Please, you know fully well I won't leave until you tell me."

"I can make you leave."

"And I can be very persistent."

"Fine." He finally turned to face me. He walked toward me as I unconsciously took steps back until I felt the was against my back. His arms pinned me on the wall, our eyes never breaking.

"Se...Severus?"

"Say my name. Again." I could feel his breath brushing my face.

"Severus..."

"Say it again." His eyes went to mine down to my lips. He was moving closer to me. Our lips almost touching.

"Severus..."

He finally lunged in and captured my lips perfectly. He moved his hands to cup my face while my hands were on his chest as I gripped his robes tightly. Our bodies pressed together. We continued to kiss and hold each other close.

His hands started to move to my waist and turned my body around. He lifted me as he placed me on a table, my arms around his neck as my fingers ran on his long black hair. He groaned when my fingers were on his hair. That gave me a sign that he liked what I was doing.

His kisses went down to my neck as a soft moan escaped from my lips.

"Severus..." He groaned once again while kissing my neck.

"Don't leave." He stopped kissing me as his eyes went back to mine. "Please."

"I-I don't understand why."

"Damnnit, Y/N! I'm in love with you. You could go thick as you get!"

I didn't know what to say but to press my lips on his once again. He kisses me back more passionately, both of our beating hearts being satisfied but not contented.

"You...don't need to pick sides. Just don't leave. I can protect you, please." My hands moved to cupped his cheeks and I caressed it.

"Sev... I won't leave. I promise." I kissed his forehead and after that, I placed my forehead against his. His hands moved on my wrists and brought the palm of my hands to his lips.

"I will protect you...always."

"As I am, my love." I smiled.

Despite his love for her, he continued to love Lily. Not romantically but because she was his and will always be a friend to him. A part of him he'll never take away. Y/N understood that. And she was devastated when they couldn't save her and James. So she helped him to protect Harry Potter throughout his years in Hogwarts.

Even Harry Potter became friends with their son, Seth Snape. Y/N knew that her husband had been working as a double agent for Voldemort and Dumbledore. She was against this but Dumbledore and her husband both assured her that it would be fine.

Until Snape had to force and kill Dumbledore. Because of this Harry went on rage on him. Seth knew nothing about his father's mission. He doesn't know that his father is a death eater. Y/N badly wants to tell Seth.

As the war gets worse, fights between Snape and Y/N are continuous.

"You have to trust me!"

"Trust? Severus, our son won't even look at you. He won't even acknowledge you as his father because you killed Dumbledore. Because you continue to do this...mad plan!" She shouted, she cried.

"It's the only way--"

"I know! And I hate it because it's the only way you can save the Wizarding World. It's the only way you can protect Harry... Sev... What about me? You..." She broke into tears and it seemed it was getting harder to breathe because of her sobs. "You promised me that you would protect me. I am getting hurt. I know you are too that's why I continue to support you because my loyalty lies with you. Because I choose you. I pick you. I am on your side. Always."

"Y/N..."

"I can't stand any longer with them. I hate to see these children suffer. Seth is no longer himself. I'm scared, Sev." Snape went to his wife and put her in his arms. He caressed and peppered her with kisses. He doesn't care if he's being watched right now. All he wanted was to comfort the woman he loved. To provide what she needs.

"Please...I need you to trust me. I know what I'm doing. I promise."

"Promise me you won't die. Promise me, Severus... I can't lose you too."

"You won't lose me. I promise."

Snape's plan continued. He helped Harry to destroy the Slytherin locket by sending a Patronus without anyone knowing it. While Y/N knew that Snape could protect himself, she stood by his side. She also never failed to look after Seth. Their son was part of the Dumbledore Army that Harry built to learn DADA.

"Mum..."

"Seth?" Y/N frowned at the sight of his 17-year-old son. "My sweet, what happened?" She went over to her son who sat on the sofa. She cupped her son's face. "You look tired."

"They made me torture them... I feel sick. I am not like him." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Seth... he's not like them. Your father is trying."

"That's not an excuse. He's still a murderer. He killed Dumbledore." He gritted his teeth.

Y/N was taken aback. Snape was indeed a murderer. His husband killed someone and used an unforgivable curse. If Voldemort is defeated, he could be sent to Azkaban for it.

"Your father did a horrible thing but he's not evil."

"You don't need to keep staying by his side, mum. You can leave and go to hiding."

"Seth! I love your father. I can't leave him. I don't want to leave. I want to stay. Because when you love someone even if it's hard to trust them, even if they already damaged your trust. You will stay with them. You will not leave them. Even if hurts, even if it kills you. I am willing to risk my life for your father. And I would do the same thing to you."

Seth didn't say another word and slowly went to hug his mother. He's already taller than her.

"I'm sorry, mum."

"You also need to be careful. When the war starts, come back to me, okay? Come back. You and your father will come back to me. That's an order."

"We will, mum. We will."

Y/N was not allowed to fight during the Battle of Hogwarts because she was 3 months pregnant. She stayed at Andromeda Tonks' house while they took care of Teddy Lupin. She couldn't sleep as she thought of her husband and son. She hopes when morning rises, both of them will come back to her.

"Y/N, dear, you should rest." Andromeda placed a cup of tea on her bedtable.

"Thank you, Meda."

"It's nothing. They will come back. I know they will." She offered her a comforting smile that made Y/N miss her own mum.

The next morning came and she heard knocking on the door. She immediately saw her son at the doorway and ran to hug him. Seth immediately wrapped his arms around his mother.

"Thank the gods you're okay!" She pulled away and looked at Seth's face. She cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead.

"Mum..."

"Where's your father?"

Seth broke into tears and hugged his mother again. Y/N didn't understand what was happening and she didn't want to understand it.

"Where's Severus? Where's your father?" Her voice was shaking. She saw Harry standing. Seth pulled away from the hug as Harry walked closer to her.

"I'm sorry... I could have saved him. But... I'm sorry." Harry went to catch Y/N as she broke down in tears as well as Andromeda when she received the news. She also lost her daughter.

I hummed a song as I placed Heliotrope flowers on his grave. I placed my daughter on my lap. She looked at the grave with great curiosity.

"Mummy, who are humming to?" My daughter asked. I moved a few strands of her hair to the side and tucked in her ears. I kissed his soft cheeks.

"Your father, sweetheart. He loves it when I hummed him a song."

"I love it when you hummed me a song. I also love when you sing, mummy." She said enthusiastically.

"Of course you do. That's one of the common things you and your father share." I smiled at my daughter. She stood up from my lap and started to run through the grass, laughing.

I stayed at his grave. As the wind brushed into my skin, I imagined him being close to me. His arms wrapped around me while he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Severus was never the type of person you would think that he would do those kinds of things. But he is capable of them.

"It still hurts, Sev... I want and I need you here. I will never stop loving you, my love. Even if the stars die. You'll wait for me, okay? We will meet again, I promise. Not now but someday." I leaned on his gravestone and placed a kiss. "I love you."

*****

I know I'm sorry this is another one-shot where someone has to die again. I'll make it up, I promise.

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ladyluscinia · 2 years

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Another "the Kraken is Edward's threat response 😭 Izzy made him feel unsafe!" post is back on my dash. People, please stop woobifying the guy who decided becoming motherfucking Blackbeard was a fun career choice into some delicate flower that bruises if you breathe on it too hard.

Edward is not afraid of Izzy. Edward has never been afraid of Izzy, nor would he have any reason to think Izzy was making a serious death or harm threat to be afraid of, because he wasn't! Izzy makes explicit death threats at others multiple times and still puts forth minimal effort to carry them out. Izzy has never expressed any desire to harm Edward, or even retaliate with violence when Edward is deliberately pissing him off or commiting violence against Izzy.

In what universe is Edward going to assume Izzy has suddenly decided making vague implications of biting back actually means a direct threat on his life??? Or be afraid of it happening?

Edward rejects Izzy on the deck by publicly suggesting that they should ditch piracy and he'll be dropping the Blackbeard name (and by association Izzy's special privilege to go behind the curtain). Izzy rejects Edward in the cabin because he has zero interest in the lifestyle that was just pitched (understandable), and gets pissed when Edward pulls "I'm still Blackbeard" to shrug off Izzy's objections that he just invited Izzy to speak openly about, which. Damn.

(Hello, actual Edward problem that's about to blow up - Edward thinks he can't possibly lose Blackbeard. He can drop the name and do whatever he wants, but everyone will still give him the exact amount of awe / respect / fear / loyalty that he's entitled to. He wants to retire without retiring and losing a single benefit he enjoys, up to and including Izzy following him until he dies.)

Edward's anger response is to throw Izzy against a wall and choke him, which Izzy delights in briefly because he literally just called that this whole new soft Edward was bullshit, and Edward's temper is proving it to them both. And then Izzy makes his threat:

"Edward better watch his fucking step."

Where is the death threat? Izzy is not in a children's cartoon where you can't mention killing. In fact, one of his first threats on screen is "This is how you die" (a threat that he makes no effort to carry out against Stede and doesn't even draw blood). He's not even making a threat that he will do something! The impetus is on Edward! Izzy is threatening to respond to Edward's actions in a way he hasn't before.

And given this whole conversation has been about Blackbeard and Izzy's loyalty and willingness to accept being violently put in his place by him, I think a previous meta post was right that this is basically Izzy's fucked up attempt to set boundaries. Edward doesn't get to rely on Izzy following his every order and following him on a silly adventure and absorbing his bad moods like a punching bag WHILE discarding everything Izzy recognizes about the person he respected enough to do that. He can be Izzy's boss, or he can stop pretending to be Izzy's boss. He doesn't get both. If Edward chose not to be Blackbeard and didn't try to reassert Izzy's loyalty, then Izzy probably would have just left. Resigned, just like last time. Izzy doesn't want to live on the Revenge, and he's not going to stay if his boss isn't there.

Instead, Edward realizes that the awe and fear of Blackbeard is something he can lose - is losing, right now, as Izzy says he's done listening and the crew cheers for a song - stews on that for a couple of hours alongside the fact that Stede left and it hurts and he took his dreams of silly adventures with him, and eventually Edward decides to take a hard turn on his priorities in the most dramatic fashion possible.

#our flag means death #the kraken is about stede and rejection and going back to his old life and lashing out destructively and a bunch of other things #it is very much NOT about thinking izzy is going to hurt him 🙄#and every time i see some post claim 'izzy explicitly threatened his life' i'm just like WHERE???#blackbeard ofmd #izzy hands ofmd #ofmd 1x10 #ofmd meta #my meta #ladyluscinia

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theheightofdishonor · 7 months

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BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

by @clara-maybe-ontheroad

This looked fun and it's been a second since i've talked on Tumblr about what i've been watching.

The categories are :

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

Anytime they’ve made First Kanaphan sing. This includes Moonlight Chicken’s theme song, it includes Only Friends and it includes the Eclipse OS. The boy’s already talented as hell, why must he also be forced to sing?

Most cringe-inducing line (cute)

Gun’s roar in My School President. It’s adorable but it makes me cringe

Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad)

I was going to try to name scenes I hadn't done before but the bathtub scene in VV is still unmatched. For those of you who haven't watched the show, there’s this scene early on in Vice Versa where they’re sitting in a bathtub and Puen’s like “oh your heart looks like it’s been unused, let me wipe away the dust from it” and it’s so cringe, to the point that I still remember it vividly. I also think of this as the point where the show took a turn for the worse. My household refers to it daily.

Most stupid decision made by a character

When Wen Kexing decided to fake his death and expected Zhou Zishu to just shrug and move on with his life. What a fucking dumbass.

Worst plot line

In Tharntype 2 when Type made that whole plot to kidnap Fiat and make him think he’s going to be raped. It was so out-of-pocket and made Type’s character 10x worse than he’d ever been.

The most problematic show you've watched

Recently? I watched Double Mints which isn't a show but is ql. It was great, very fun.

A show people love but you find bad

2gether is bland and boring, I said what I said. But that's a basic opinion to have on tumblr so I'll admit to finding La Pluie boring. I tried to like it, I really did but it's a no. I also couldn't get into GAP the series which was devastating.

A show people find bad but you will defend

SCOY ofc is excellent. I have seen people criticize aspects of Bed Friend and I think that show was very good for the most part.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it

The Shipper just is genuinely a bad show. I'd go as far to say that it's malicious though perhaps not intentionally so. Regardless, I did very much enjoy it. Tharntype too.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Oh there's a lot I could name for this. VV obviously. 609 bedtime story wasn't necessarily bad but it was mediocre and disappointing so I suppose that counts. I liked the concept of My Sweet Dear, enemies to lovers is always my jam, especially when it's food-related but it wasn't that good.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny

Tharntype and WRU?. I didn't initially plan on watching either but I was so desperate after BBS to find something with good chemistry and I heard these had that so.

A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character

I watched the entirety of I Will Knock You because I was charmed by Noey.

The character that ruined a show the most

Puen in VV is still my least favourite love interest ever in a ql but Mork from FUTS also comes close.

Most awful character that you hated

The stepbrother from history 4. I like a good toxic relationship and obsessive love interests but he was too much even for me. (though as is the way of things, i think i've become slightly more fond of him over time, why am i like this).

Most awful character that you loved

Everyone in Only Friends, especially Nick. And the office worker Mitsuo from Double Mints. And Type from Tharntype. I like awful characters sometimes, alright.

A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like

Neungdiao and Palm from Never Let Me Go both intensely irritated me for different reasons. This next one is also going to be unpopular but I couldn't stand Techno in Tharntype either.

A hero that should have been a villain

I'm still annoyed that Kinn turned into a classic bl protagonist midway through instead of staying terrible. Also Mork is a villain and should be treated as such.

A morally bad character you're into

Charn from Laws of Attraction is so my type that my wife laughed and called me predictable.

A morally bad character you're not into and you wish people would stop being into

I honestly don't care what other people are into but I find Vegas from KP overrated.

The show that disappointed you the most

Recently, Step By Step. I had very high hopes for that show. I've also given up on Dangerous Romance and have very little hopes that it can redeem itself.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons

The Bad Buddy Our Skyy eps. It's the one show that I 100% wish I had never saw. Did irreparable damage.

Well on that note, this was super fun to fill out. I'd tag people but I don't think i'm familiar enough with the ql community here on tumblr to do so.

#worst bl shows the ask game #surprised how much of it was thai bl honestly #but i think it's because i remember thai bl more?#like there's plenty of disappointing or mediocre kbl i just don't bother to note them

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lesbian-in-leather · 1 year

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ooo thanks for the tag! can you tell us something about 2?

Yes I absolutely can!!

Okay so Bloodlust was inspired by a song on my eswell playlist (Hit and Run by LOLO) and it was literally just... Georgina and Esmé commit a murder together lmao. Which is sort of why it never got posted because it's just kinda short and like. Doesn't really have a lot going on? I count it as a WIP though because I do quite like it, but I feel like it'd need to be longer for me to post it on ao3 or anything so... who knows, maybe some day I'll add to it and it'll go somewhere!

Instead of a snippet I'm literally going to include the whole thing because! It's short! Might as well see the light of day (content warning: blood, violence, weaponry)

The knife sliced across his throat as easily as a boat glides through the water, leaving ripples of crimson red in its wake. A torrent flowed from him, soaking his clothes as he crumpled, coating Esmé’s hands as she held him upright; savouring the kill. Her eyes met Georgina’s, and the optometrist saw the rush of power that always came with taking a life. Many words had been used to describe Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor – ‘cruel’, ‘vain’, ‘villainous’, ‘manipulative’, and ‘a terrible actress who cannot sing and should have never replaced a certain remarkable woman in the odious play directed by Count Olaf’, were merely a few choice examples. But in that moment, Georgina’s mind could conjure only one.

“Breath-taking.” It was an apt description – the word ‘breath-taking’, as you probably know, can be meant both figuratively and literally. If someone is literally breath-taking, then they are depriving someone else of their breath (someone might, for example, take the breath of City’s sixth most important financial advisor by cutting his throat with a knife in the entranceway of a mansion belonging to the City’s seventh most important financial advisor, so that the City’s eighth most important financial adviser could very efficiently jump two rankings in one evening). If someone is figuratively breath-taking, however, then they are so beautiful that the observer merely feels as though they cannot breathe, and all they can do is watch in awe as this beautiful person stands before them like an ethereal apparition.

It pains me to say that, in this moment – slightly out of breath, her eyes alight with the visceral thrill that accompanied her villainous deed, hands bloody and still holding the dripping knife, as a cruel, merciless smile spread over her features – in Georgina’s eyes, at least, Esmé Squalor was breath-taking in all senses of the word.

She dropped her most recent victim – who was still gurgling slightly as blood spilled from his gaping wound – and stepped over his body without a second thought, reaching Georgina in a few purposeful strides. Esmé’s towering heels clicked on the stone floor before she snatched Georgina’s gun from her hands, tossing it to one side and fisting a bloodstained hand in the lapel of the optometrist’s blazer as it skittered away. She pressed the blade of her knife against Georgina’s throat with her free hand as she pulled her closer, their faces barely a hair’s breadth apart. Georgina should have objected to the blood now staining her clothes, should have fought back against the threat that Esmé was making, should have drawn a clear line in the metaphorical sand, should have finally set a boundary in their impossible, ever-shifting, pseudo-relationship. If it were anyone else, she would have done so without a second thought. But, then again, if it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have found the act nearly so arousing. For an instant they stayed there, eyes locked, before the tension that had been building between them all evening finally snapped and Georgina couldn’t prevent her eyes from flicking down to Esmé’s slightly parted lips – painted the same shade as the blood spattered over her collarbone, in place of her usual jewellery.

A rapidly diminishing voice in the back of Georgina’s mind was still vaguely aware that she shouldn’t be allowing Esmé so much control, should at least put on the pretence of fighting back, but the act she had just witnessed – their plan finally put into motion – and the way it had affected Esmé was far too enticing to fight against. Even as she found herself being pushed backwards until she hit the wall, Esmé discarding the knife on a nearby table, just close enough to retain the threat and the thrill, but freeing her hands and allowing her to begin ridding Georgina of her clothing. It would also have been easier to object if Esmé hadn’t been kissing her quite so thoroughly, occupying both Georgina’s mouth and her mind until all she could do was hold on to Esmé with equal ferocity – one hand on her waist and the other winding its way into her hair.

“Here?” she asked, in the brief moment when it was proved that even Esmé had to catch her breath on occasion. “Now?” the half-laugh quickly dissolved into a moan as Esmé focused on Georgina’s neck, teeth and tongue lavishing Esmé’s sadistic attentions over the skin there in a deliberately unequal ratio.

“Now.” Esmé practically growled into Georgina’s throat, tearing through the fabric of Georgina’s blouse in her desperation to remove it, nails clawing at the exposed skin beneath, and all the optometrist could do was arch into her lover’s touch and moan her agreement.

#virginian wolfsnake #thanks for the ask!!!#WIP titles #asoue #eswell #the lesbian herself #i do not know how to warn for content #but i tried #just felt on brand of them #i actually have quite a few fic ideas i've never started based on various songs in different playlists #maybe i'll do something with them someday

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dustedmagazine · 1 year

Text

Jonathan Shaw: Another Year of Pissed-off, Wholly-grossed-out (and Sometimes Political) Music

Adios, 2022, and good riddance. There were a few bright moments: this past fall, Lula unseated Bolsonaro in Brazil, an excellent development, but the margin of victory was very, very slim. On the other side of the globe, Putin raised the bullshit spectre of national socialism to justify his adventurism in Ukraine, and Italy elected a straight-up fascist. In the States, a number of elections associated with the federal midterms tipped to liberal institutionalists: Mark Kelly for the junior Senator’s seat from Arizona; Josh Shapiro for the Governor of Pennsylvania; Maggie Hassan for the junior Senator’s seat from New Hampshire; and so on. In all cases, those folks were the less awful choices, contrasting with the whack Christian nationalists and white supremacists being run by the Republican Party. But there’s little reason for leftist partisans to celebrate. The liberals nodded earnestly and voted “Yea” when the Biden Administration moved to deny rail workers their right to strike — for sick leave, we might note, in the middle of a triple-demic. Meanwhile, preening, cynical opportunists Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz attempt to sell themselves as friends of the American working class. The mind reels. And Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Green? They won their elections and are heading back to Congress to do what they do best: fomenting ethno-religious fanaticism (is that you, Q?) and fundraising, packing open-carry pistols all the while. The paranoid style in American politics has gone mainstream.

So, what’s an old punk to do? Fuck knows, but I’ll keep listening to angry records. It was a good year for punk music. Releases from Lexicon, Mastermind, Klonns and dozens of other bands demonstrate that punks not dead yet (and yes, I know there should be an apostrophe back there — but credit where moronic credit is due: the Exploited insisted that “Punks not Dead” back in 1981, sans apostrophe, and I stick with the verities). A bunch of other even noisier, heavier and smarter punk records came out this year, some of which are featured in the list below.

Meanwhile metal, in its manifold and multi-hybrid forms, also responded to the infuriating times we are living through with some supremely intense and intelligent music. Heavy metal and “intelligent” can make for an ambivalent combination, but several of the records listed below are as cogent and intellectually ambitious as they are sonically punishing. Still, the most satisfying metal record I played this year (over and over again) was a slab of ill-intended stupidity called Determined to Rot, from cave-man death metal outfit Mutilatred. Ohio has gone full-on reactionary in its political climate; no wonder music this recalcitrant and ugly originated in Toledo.

I won’t pronounce Determined to Rot the “record of the year” or “the year’s best,” because I don’t think 2022 was capable of producing positive superlatives. (And as ever, I make no claims for the objective “greatness” of any of these records. Y’all should learn from my mistakes.) Rather, Mutilatred’s music is furiously effective in direct proportion to the willfully ignorant abuse with which it assails the world. Maybe it’s not “good” or “pleasing,” but it’s the record that will always signify 2022 to me. I include nine additional records that I played very, very often this year in the list below, organized alphabetically.

Bad Breeding — Human Capital (Iron Lung)

Human Capital (LUNGS-227) by BAD BREEDING

Sharp, politically engaged English punk, churning in the wake of Crass and Subhumans: poetically enraged lyrics and melodically complicated songs. If I were in a more hopeful mood, I would put this forward as the year’s standout record. The guys in Bad Breeding are smart and passionate enough to convince me that it’s possible to see a future for the lifeworld. The only problem is that the record eventually ends…

Black Fucking Cancer — Procreate Inverse (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Procreate Inverse by BLACK FUCKING CANCER

…so I play this one. Black Fucking Cancer hates you, but don’t take it personally—the band hates everyone. Procreate Inverse is the most excoriating and merciless black metal record of the year. Ouch.

Class — S/T (Feel It)

Class by CLASS

If any release made me feel something like happiness in 2022, this debut cassette from Class was it. Likely that’s partly due to the time-capsule vibe of these songs, which evoke the early 1970s, when punk rawk, glam and power pop were inextricably up in one another’s business. Check out “Oh! the Nerve,” which is an intoxicating (and likely intoxicated) good time.

Cloud Rat — Threshold (Artoffact)

Threshold by Cloud Rat

The self-described grind-punks have done it again, releasing a collection of terrific songs that synthesize hardcore, various sorts of metal, electronic noise and grind’s whirlwind. Song for song, this may be Cloud Rat’s most accomplished record—but it moves with such quicksilver and livid intensity that it’s hard to establish effective critical distance. Drop the needle and you’re in it, a maelstrom of musical and emotional ferocity.

Mizmor & Thou — Myopia (Gilead Media)

Myopia by Mizmor & Thou

A massive collaboration between blackened doom project Mizmor and Thou, the brilliant sludge band that has made some of the most compelling music of the last ten or so years. Like Thou’s collaborations with Emma Ruth Rundle, Myopia finds the musicians responding to one another’s forceful presences, creating something greater than the sum of its parts. Grim and grand.

Mutilatred — Determined to Rot (Redefining Darkness)

Determined to Rot by Mutilatred

Not riff worship so much as weaponized riffage. The song titles say it better than I can: “Everyone’s Doing Shitty.” “Smashed by a Slab of Concrete.” “Waste of the Mind.” “Eroded Brain.” “Fuck Everyone.” Fuck you, too, dudes. More, please.

Persona — Free Your Mind (Iron Lung)

Free Your Mind! by PERSONⒶ

Bugged-out hardcore punk from pissed-off queers—few records hit this hard, sound this desperate and still manage to lift spirits. “Race to the Bottom” might be, second-for-second, the most exciting two minutes of heavy music released this year. Hugely satisfying to fling your body around in time with vocalist Rebecca’s fulminating, or at least try to.

Rigorous Institution — Cainsmarsh (Black Water/Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Cainsmarsh by RIGOROUS INSTITUTION

Grotty punks from Portland making blackened crust? A lot could go wrong with that, but almost nothing does on this record, from folks with names like Savonarola, Shite and The Imp. I rarely say this when talking about heavy music but: Check out those synths.

Scarcity — Aveilut (The Flenser)

Aveilut by Scarcity

High-minded musicians making a black metal record about grief and mourning? Once again: so much could go wrong with that, but almost nothing does on Aveilut. It’s a black metal record to which the phrase “avant-garde” can be applied without any wincing.

SkyThala — Boreal Despair (I, Voidhanger)

Boreal Despair by SkyThala

Black metal and Igor Stravinsky’s neoclassical rigors turn out to be fecund sonic partners, at least in the hands of Ryan Clackner and the other, unidentified musicians that wrote and recorded this strange and exciting music. It’s exactly the sort of release one associates with I, Voidhanger: ambitious, unexpected and blackened to its core. Some swinging bassoons, too.

Special shoutouts: To Sentient Ruin Laboratories — who always kill it, but who had an especially strong year’s worth of releases (a couple named above, Cryptae, the Lousy, Hold Me Down, Ceremonial Bloodbath and more). And to Lingua Ignota, who dropped an absolute stunner of a live show on Philly in December; the covers of “Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet” and “Jolene” curled hairs and toes, and “Man Is Like a Spring Flower” left me speechless.

We still need to say it: Down with fascism. Smash all nationalisms. Turn this shit up.

Jonathan Shaw

#dusted magazine #yearend 2022 #jonathan shaw #bad breeding #black fucking cancer #class #cloud rat #mizmor #thou #mutilatred #persona #rigorous institution #scarcity #skythala #metal #punk #sentient laboratory #lingua ignota

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.

Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua's possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a sort of "masterpost" with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.

I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn't about romance and that Togashi isn't interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that's been going on the further Gon and Killua's relationship progresses, I think it's incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.

This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!

Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that "maybe this is just something the anime made gayer" : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi's part.

I'd also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc.... Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I'm sure he 100% knows that he's writing it, and it can't be seen as unintentional.

I'll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.

Well, let's get into it!

EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy... thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !

GREED ISLAND ARC

Greed Island is to me the arc that lays down the nature of Killua and Gon's relationship. It's during this arc that we get to see a bit more of what Killua thinks, how he's lucky to have met Gon and that he feels really grateful. Gon’s behavior in this arc is also very affectionate, with him always reassuring Killua about his place next to him. While the scene where Killua thinks "You've got it backwards, Gon, I'm the one that's glad I met you." can't be considered as subtext, I think it's something that lets the reader know a bit more about how Killua feels towards Gon.

But other than this scene, which can clearly be dismissed as platonic, there are 2 more moments in the Greed Island arc that are layered in subtext.

• The Rainbow Diamond (chapter 151)

During their time in Dorias, Killua uses Risky Dice to gain cards from the slot machines. The first card that Killua gains is called "Rainbow Diamond", the description of the card being "A diamond that shines in a rainbow of colors. Propose with this diamond and she is guaranteed to say "yes"".

There are 3 different things we can take from this panel. First, the card is a marriage proposal card, so it's obviously romantic in nature. Second, the object is a RAINBOW diamond. And third, Killua, wanting to keep the card safe, gifts it to Gon.

In short, Togashi sat down at his desk, decided to draw Killua winning a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL CARD (it could've been any card, but Togashi CHOSE to make Killua win a marriage proposal card) that has a RAINBOW diamond on it and made Killua gift it to Gon.

While I personally don't think that subtext can be used to 100% ascert that Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, I think it's a funny little touch from Togashi, and I'm even gonna say a sort of hint towards how Killua's feelings for Gon are going to evolve in this arc and the next.

• “It has to be Killua” (chapter 166)

Now this is a scene that I've never seen anyone talk about, at least on Tumblr, but when I read a bit of analysis on it I was 100% convinced this was intentional subtext. I'm basically quoting here what this article explains, so if you want more detail, I recommend reading it.

As you probably recall, during their deadly dodgeball game against Razor, Killua decides to sacrifice his hands to ensure that Gon could use all his strength. When confronted about it, Killua insists that it's nothing, and Gon shocks him by saying that he knew all along that he was hurting himself for his sake.

Gon then says that it can only be Killua holding the ball, and that it has to be Killua, resulting in Killua being absolutely awestruck and embarassed. I'm also going to talk about the anime adaptation for this one, because it's perfectly executed and translates extremely well the nuance that the second sentence bears. If you want to rewatch it, this scene happens in episode 70. It's worth noting that in the anime, we see Killua not reacting to Gon's first sentence, but losing his composure entirely when Gon says the second sentence. But why ?

The reason was lost in translation. His exact words are "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to. Killua ja nakya dame nan da.". Both sentences basically say the same thing : It has to be Killua holding the ball. That second sentence can be translated literally as "If it's not Killua, that won't do." However, the second sentence, in a different context, can also be used to say a totally different thing.

While it's certain that Gon used this sentence in the context of the dodgeball match, the sentence "~ja nakya dame nan da" also serves as a confession of one's feelings in japanese. It's basically the equivalent to "you're the one for me". When you google the sentence, it turns up romantic songs, forum posts asking what it would translate to in English and posts on how to confess to someone.

The sentence basically drowns in romantic subtext. As mentioned before, Killua has no reaction to the first sentence "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to.", but loses his composure at the second one, and I think that was a very deliberate thing Togashi wanted to convey : this sentence has an additional layer, and clearly Killua is taking it to heart.

I will come back to this specific subtext in a bit, because we can parallel it with another subtext-y situation, so please keep it in mind for now.

CHIMERA ANT ARC

Now onto the sad gay arc! This arc is so RIDDLED in subtext and parallels that it's making me lose my mind.

• Gon, you are light. (chapter 199)

This scene is just... So romantic in nature. I’m not too objective on this, but I really do believe that this moment is the exact moment Killua fell in love with Gon and started to realize he felt a bit more than friendship towards him. It’s Killua respecting Gon for who he is, realizing that he’s light and he’s always been, he’s the one who saved him and who’s always been so bright and optimistic and always makes the best out of any situation. In this scene, Killua lets himself drown in Gon’s light, allows himself to feel this “wow” moment of pure admiration and love, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

It's extremely important to take the context of this scene into account. What happened is that Killua, who has been struggling mentally for the entire series with the fact that he's always running away, ran away once more, leaving Kite to die with Pitou. This ENTIRE chapter is literally adults absolutely DESTROYING Killua, first Kite's troupe bashing him for leaving Kite behind, and then Netero, Morel and Knov coming in like icing on the cake telling Killua that "After all, he's just a kid", and that he should hurry up to his mommy.

Killua is beating himself up for running away again, got destroyed by Kite's team and 3 extremely strong pro hunters. His morale is down in the drains right now. He expects Gon to be mad at him for betraying Kite, for running away once again, for leaving Kite to die alone and ripping Gon away from Kite : he expects that he'll lose Gon for his cowardice.

HOWEVER, the first thing that Gon says to Killua after having been passed out for god knows how many hours is "Thank you".

Gon woke up and instantly eased up all of Killua's fears : he wasn't a loser for running away, and Gon was actually thankful for him. Gon, at this moment, was the only one that showed kindness, understanding and gratefulness towards Killua. Gon even goes so far as saying that he knows that Kite isn't dead, and that they have to help him. At this instant, Gon is truly Killua's saving grace. He's the one that trusts him with his entire heart, and believes in his choices when even he can't believe in himself. Gon is truly Killua's light at this precise moment, because he was the only one who supported him, trusted him and reassured him in this awful situation.

How can someone shine so bright in such a terrible situation ? How can someone be so positive that nothing bad will happen ?

Gon asserting all of this makes Killua respect him a lot. Keep this word in mind, because it’s going to be important in the next piece of subtext I’m analyzing, because those two scenes canonically follow each other and are basically Togashi highlighting that something special happened when Killua called Gon his light, and that his feelings deepened.

• Introduction to Palm's character (chapter 200)

This piece of subtext is very very easy to miss but it's one of the most important subtext-y scene, because coupled with the “Gon, you are light” scene, it’s very clear that this dialogue is deliberately highlighting Killua’s feelings.

This chapter introduces Palm's character (which, imo, is a character introduced for the sole intent of being a catalyst to Killua's feelings towards Gon, but I'll talk about it in my post talking about the CAA parallels) - edit: i talked about this briefly here.

So, Killua having looked into Gon's eyes for like 10min straight and concluded that Gon was the light of his life a chapter ago, is now chilling with Gon as they meet Palm.

Palm takes them to a café and STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT harasses them about how much she's in love with Knov. Like when I say harassing, it's literally a whole page of her explaining her feelings towards Knov.

There are two interesting things that can be drawn from this interaction.

First, it's extremely easy to draw parallels between Palm's situation towards Knov and Killua's situation towards Gon. Palm starts by saying how amazing her master is, that she probably has special feelings for him but the most important thing is to respect the other person. Remember how I talked about how this last scene was Killua having a surge of deep, deep respect for Gon ? Palm makes sure to highlight that special word, that it’s important to respect someone when it comes to love.

She then goes on to say that she hasn't said anything to Knov, and never will. All of this adds nothing to the story, it's empty dialogue, Togashi could've introduced Palm in virtually any other way possible, but he chose to drag her and the gay duo to a café and make her have a monologue about love RIGHT after the extremely emotional panel of Killua declaring that Gon is his light just a chapter ago.

But there's more. Not only does Palm monologue for a while about love, but after finishing her monologue, this happens :

This panel features ONLY Palm and Killua, her looking at him like the psycho she is, and straight up telling him that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think so?".

What's so interesting about this is the fact that Togashi made the deliberate choice to have Palm say this to Killua and Killua ONLY, which after the gay existential crisis he had last chapter, can very much be applied to his situation. Love DID spark out of nowhere, and Togashi wants you to notice. Togashi could've made Palm say this to herself, with no distinct listener like the last panel, but he made the conscious choice to draw this panel with Palm adressing herself to Killua SPECIFICALLY.

Those two pieces of subtext, that fit perfectly together, make me believe 100% that Togashi knows what he's doing and he's not unintentionally planting gay subtext in his work. The fact that Togashi sat at his desk, drew Killua calling Gon his light, and then followed this scene with the introduction to a character who picks Killua apart to tell him that "love is something that just happens, don't you think?" is 100% proof that Togashi knows what he's doing.

• Date with Palm (chapters 217 and 218)

I think this situation has many layers, but many people still dismiss it as bro behavior so I'm gonna try my best to counter argue. First of all, and although that's not proof of anything, Killua looks EXTREMELY distressed by the prospect of Gon going on a date with Palm, but that can be counter-argued by saying that Killua is just worried because Palm is completely crazy.

What I want to talk about is the scene that happens right after, when Gon and Killua go to the gym (because theyre DUDES YEAH WE WORK OUT NO HOMO), and the conversation casually drifts to Killua asking Gon if he's ever been on a date before, valid question considering what just happened previously. There are multiple things here :

1) Killua seems distressed that Gon has been on dates before. While it can be argued that it's a normal reaction because Gon has and he hasn't, I believe that Killua - who is in no way a normal person who would get flustered about "not having been on dates before a certain age" - would not feel uncomfortable that his friend is more experienced than him - especially when literal seconds later, he monologues about how he doesn’t care about dates and just wants to stick with Gon.

2) Gon then proceeds to ask Killua if he's ever been on a date, to which Killua responds :

What I want to highlight is the panel where Killua says "And the truth is, I want to stay by your side... Always...". Basically, what Killua is saying, is that he doesn't care about dates, all he wants to do is be with Gon.

I don't think this can be counter-argued as bro behavior, but with all the subtext I've explained before, this right here is pretty gay. Togashi put this panel deliberately to show that Killua doesn't give a crap about dates when he can stay with Gon, and with the "gon you are light" scene and everything in mind, this is another intentional subtext.

There's also the fact that Killua stalks the date like a jealous girlfriend - but I'm not gonna count that as subtext because it can be argued that he's just worried about Gon because Palm is insane.

• Gon is my best friend ! (chapter 219)

Remember how I told you to keep the "It has to be Killua" subtext in mind because I was gonna come back to it later ? Well.

During Palm's date with Gon, Killua runs into Rammot, who would definitely have ran into Palm and nenless Gon. Killua is forced to confront his worst fear : this is the moment where he knows that if he runs away again, Gon WILL die. Killua is literally overcoming his "programming", the physical representation of years of abuse out of love and care for Gon. He's ripping out the needle from his forehead out of pure, genuine care for Gon, because if he doesn't, then he'll lose him forever.

Now, what I actually wanna talk about is this panel :

What we see is Killua thinking happy thoughts about all his adventures with Gon because he can't - won't - doesn't want to run away anymore, and all this for his sake. But what I wanna draw attention to is the dodgeball panel that's bigger than all the others, and the only one where you can actually clearly make out what's written : "Killua ja nakya dame nan da".

Now, isn't that interesting that the panel that takes a bigger place in the whole panel is the one with this particular sentence? Remember what I talked about a bit earlier, about how "~ ja nakya dame nan da" is a sentence with a lot of romantic connotations (would pretty much equal to "you're the one for me" in English). Clearly this particular sentence stuck with Killua.

I'm not completely objective on this matter since I firmly believe that at this point, Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, but I interpret this as another deliberate thing Togashi did : putting the panel bigger so we can see that it has a particularly significant importance to Killua, and Killua's state of mind right now (not wanting to lose Gon).

In my opinion, two things happened here: One, Killua remembers this specific interaction because he knows how much Gon trusts him and he doesn't want to betray his trust. But I also firmly believe that Killua remembered this specific interaction because of the romantic connotation the sentence "Killua ja nakya dame nan da" has. Those words clearly shocked him, and I think he remembers them in this life-threatening situation, after the "gon you are light" scene, Palm talking about "love just happens", the "i want to stay with you, always" because he realizes that he wishes Gon would say that sentence in a romantic context, and not in the context of the dodgeball match, thus leading him to surpass himself to prove his love and perhaps live to see the day where Gon could say those words in that romantic context.

Now, of course, all of this is my interpretation, so it's really up to debate, but I really wanna highlight the fact that Togashi deliberately CHOSE to highlight this particular interaction between Gon and Killua, this sentence with romantic subtext, to lead Killua to finally break his chains and be able to be protect Gon fully. It’s also interesting to note that the 2011 anime adaptation also makes it a point to emphasize how deep these words stuck to Killua by making it the last flashback that makes Killua effectively rip out the needle out of his head.

Also let's quickly mention the irony in the situation here : while Gon is on a romantic date, Killua fights to protect him, overcoming his weakness to prove his love. It’s not Palm who deserves that date, it’s Killua.

• A lovers’ suicide (chapter 286)

Now, onto the most important piece of subtext, that can not be counterargued as platonic in any way, shape or form. During the palace invasion, Killua leaves Gon's side, proceeds to go kick Youpi's butt only to have to fall back because he used up all his electricity nen. When Killua is charging up, he meets with Meleoron, and tells him that once he's done charging, he'll go back to Gon's side.

They briefly exchange information about the battle, and then Meleoron proceeds to ask Killua what's the plan for him and Gon. That's when Killua explains that "Once Gon is like this, he won't budge an inch. Worst case scenario, it'll be a double suicide.". At worst they both die, cool. They “go down in flames together”. It’s actually much, much more meaningful than that.

The specific word that Killua uses for double suicide is "心中" (shinjuu), which is a heavily romantically connotated word in japanese. Shinjuu, also translated as "lovers’ suicide", is when two people die out of love, by the same method, because there's a belief that this'll allow those two people to spend eternity together. Shinjuu is a major theme of Japanese literature, and it is always used romantically. It's a very uncommon word to use to refer to two people dying together, because of its heavy romantic connotation, and because it always refers to double suicide committed by people bound by love. In literature, it always refers to two lovers, in love. If you want to read more on shinjuu, i suggest this and this, those articles explain its historic roots and the definition, also emphasizing the feeling of "oneness" that characterizes shinjuu. If you’re interested, I also suggest reading the japanese article that defines shinjuu, and hitting the google translate button, it has some pretty interesting sentences like “Shinjuu is traditionally committed by men and women out of mutual love, in the hope that they will be connected in the afterlife because they can't be together in this world.”

So basically, what Killua is saying is that he wants to go back to Gon's side to die with him, committing a "lovers’ suicide" because he doesn't want to leave Gon to die alone, and wants to die with him.

I also want to emphasize how special this word is to Killua, and that he and everyone around him know the special meaning of this word - In chapter 300, Ikalgo literally says "We were... No, KILLUA was ready to commit shinjuu with Gon". Ikalgo is really highlighting the fact that this word holds special meaning, especially to Killua, and that it was HIM who was willing to commit shinjuu by staying with Gon. Ikalgo and company dying with Gon wouldn't be shinjuu, but Killua dying with Gon would be, and Togashi emphasizes this through Ikalgo's thoughts.

This is pretty much the gist of it, but I suggest reading the wonderful post I linked in the references below if you want to know more about this specific subtext.

(edit : i actually wrote a post going a bit more into detail on Killua’s shinjuu wish if you want to read it here ! :3)

• “The one that Gon needs the most is you” (chapter 294)

I will go into this subtext more in details when I write the post about parallels in CAA, but I still want to talk about it briefly here.

Like I said before, to me, Palm was introduced as a catalyst for Killua's feelings towards Gon. Togashi purposefully wrote Palm as having romantic feelings for Gon to foil Killua's feelings for Gon and make him show jealousy towards Palm.

To Killua, Palm is someone who stole Gon from him, he sees her as a threat because maybe she'll make Gon happier than he does ? (ofc we all know thats not true but Killua is baby) - Basically, Killua thinks Palm might be more important to Gon than Killua is, because he believes they are romantically involved. That's why when he sees her again later on, after Gon rejected his help, leaving Killua helpess as to how to save his dear friend, Killua sees Palm as a saving grace.

He knows that if Gon sees Palm as a chimera ant, he will spiral down even more, so he tries to reason with her to get her to be gentle to Gon, because if not her, then who could? Palm would clearly be able to comfort Gon, with whom Killua believes is romantically involved with, better than him, right ? If Gon rejected Killua, then clearly Palm could help, since she seems closer to Gon (BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THEYRE DATING), right?

This confrontation between Palm and Killua closely ressembles a situation like an ex confronting a new girlfriend - and I think this is exactly why Togashi wrote Palm this way. He wanted Killua to confront who he thought was a threat to their relationship, making him believe that this person who's """"dating"""” Gon is more important to him than himself, only to have her openly admit that she means nothing to Gon. The only one Gon needs is Killua.

And that, my friends, coming from someone you believe is romantically involved with your best friend (who you probably have a crush on), someone you're jealous of, the one you thought was the person most important to him, that's a pretty meaningful statement.

Basically, what's happening, is that Palm reaffirms that Gon holds Killua closer than a potential romantic partner. And that's why Killua is so, so happy to hear that. He was questioning his entire relationship, questioning if Gon even cared about him, because he rejected him a few minutes before, but then his "rival" comes in and reaffirms that even she knows that no one comes close to Killua to Gon.

I also want to mention that this act of pure love (Killua only thinking of saving Gon when in a life threatening situation) is what made Palm come back to her human senses. d'awwwwww

• Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel on lovers who die of Alluka’s requests. (chapter 323)

Now onto the final significant subtext - while I don't particularly think of it as subtext-y, I know a lot of people have so I still want to include it here.

When Illumi explains Alluka's powers to Hisoka, he explains that there are two different types of linked deaths when a request is failed : 1) the person who failed + the person they love the most 2) the person who failed + the people they spent most of their time with.

When applied to Killua, Hisoka naturally comes to the conclusion that no matter the outcome, Gon would always be the one dying with Killua, because he's spent so much time with him, and because he's the one that Killua loves the most. In the panel where Illumi explains this, we see a romantic, heterosexual couple demonstrating the effects of not completing one of Alluka's requests, and thus the "most important person dying".

While not making any true parallels, the fact that Hisoka, and the readers, are drawn to compare a heterosexual, romantic pairing to Killua dying with Gon because he's his "most important person" is an interesting piece of subtext.

_______

I want to finish by talking about Killua's birthday and how significant it is in my opinion. All the main 4 characters have birthdays that fall on specific dates, related to Japanese tradition, and often with events that can be associated to their character. Gon's is 5/5, which is Children's Day. Kurapika's is 4/4, the number 4 being considered an unlucky number, and this being an unlucky day to have a child. Leorio's is 3/3, Hinamatsuri (not really any main parallels here but still). But Killua's birthday is 7/7, and is the Japanese day to celebrate Tanabata.

If you are not familiar with Tanabata, the story is as follows : Orihime is a princess who works for her father, working hard and well, but she laments the fact that because of her hard work she can't meet someone and fall in love. Her father arranges for her to meet Hikoboshi, allowing Orihime to leave because he expects her to come back to work for him, but the two immediately fall in love and get married, and she never returns. I won't get into the rest of the story as it's this part that interests me the most, but if you want to read more about Killua and Tanabata I suggest reading the post I referenced below.

Does the story of Orihime remind you of anyone ? Killua also works for his father, but laments the fact that he can't go outside and meet someone. His father then lets him go, saying, and i quote: "he will come back, because he's my son". Doesn't this remind you of the tale of Tanabata ? Killua's story references the tale of Orihime perfectly, and I believe this is intentional : Killua's birthday isn't of any importance to the plot, so why make it Tanabata, a day that celebrates a love story that closely ressembles Killua's story ? The answer is simple : subtext.

With all this in mind, I think it's pretty clear that Togashi is writing intentional subtext to hint at Killua's feelings being romantic in nature. Togashi is a master writer, he has years of experience, and I strongly believe he knows what he's doing and not planting unintentional subtext. He's a very smart man, and knows how all of this can be interpreted.

I will finish by saying that Togashi is NOT an author that would deliberately queerbait his readers. So many people dismiss the possibility of having gay subtext leading onto an actual canon gay relationship because "it's not like the author would ever have gay main characters". While this holds true for a lot of manga authors, especially shonen manga authors, it does NOT apply to Togashi.

Togashi has always displayed interest in queer subjects and queer representation, putting trans characters in all of his major works (Miyuki in YYH, Mikihisa in Level E and Alluka in HxH). There were also canonically gay characters in his previous works : Itsuki in YYH, and a character named Kuramoto in Level E.

Togashi also always had interest in mangas having BL elements, citing Maya Mineo's "Patalliro!" as a manga he was attracted to during High School. If you're unfamiliar with Patalliro, the story focuses on the main character's love life as a gay man. He also admitted to basing Hiei's (YYH) design off a character from that manga.

Last but not least, Togashi mentioned in a note included in volume 1 of YYH that he wanted to write a sports manga, called The Trouble Quartet, where basically all the characters are gay. Togashi said he based it off his own interests as a writer, and that while it was refused by Shonen Jump, he got deeply attached to the project and that he would love to explore this project in a different shape once he made a name for himself. I suggest reading this post because the parallels between The Trouble Quartet and HxH are HILARIOUSLY accurate.

In short, Togashi has always had interest in queer matters, and was always interested in putting queer representation in his work. After YYH, which was a terrible experience for Togashi as a writer, he managed to snatch a contract that basically allows him to do whatever he wants with HxH. Having always held dear BL matters but never being able to explore it to his full intent, I believe Togashi is exploring queer identity further with HxH, because Shonen Jump basically lets him do anything.

To conclude, with Togashi's past experience and skill, his interest in queer representation, and the amount of subtext surrounding Killua, I honestly believe that Togashi is trying to explore further queer representation, and I wouldn't be surprised if HxH ends with Gon and Killua becoming a canon pairing, whether it be delivered in an ambiguous manner or not.

Edit : I actually wrote a post on why I believe it won’t be ambiguous, and that it’s truly never been ambiguous, just developing : here.

I hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for reading all of this, and feel free to show this to anyone who denies subtext in HxH !

REFERENCES

- "It has to be Killua" - Medium article, "Impossibilities in Translating Queerness : The Dodgeball Dilemma"

- Palm's Date Scene - Reddit post, "Togashi's love of Ambiguity: Chapters 217 and 218"

-A thematic analysis of Palm’s character : ”The Issue With Palm”

- Shinjuu - Tumblr post by hunterxhell, "A lovers' suicide, I guess." : + the post that mentions Ikalgo talking about shinjuu

- An analysis on different subtext-y situations

- Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel : here and here

- Killua’s birthday : "Killua, July 7th, and the significance of his birthdate”

- Togashi's interview mentioning Mineo's Patalliro

#hxh #hxh meta #hunter x hunter #killugon #meta #my posts #my meta

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a-dorin · 3 years

Text

"it's not a big deal"

pairing: professor!maul x fem!reader

word count: 2.022k

warnings: alcohol use, drinking, swearing, flirting, sexual harassment, slight age gap (no romance yet), sexual tension, mentions of student/professor relationship, 18+

a/n: i do not own the gif below! this takes place between ardor and tempestuous, which are chapters one and two. also i hope y'all enjoy how hot maul is in this like i did ;)

“how many times do i have to tell you this? professor kenobi is banging that hot political science professor. that blonde one.”

“nice word choice hardcase,” a platinum blonde snorts, bringing a cup to his lips, “i think you mean professor kenobi might be having sexual relations with professor satine.”

“isn’t she the pacifist or something?” another voice chirps, “a few of my friends have taken her classes. they’ve all said the same thing about her.”

“and that is?” the blonde arches a brow, his voice raised to a shout over the music.

“do we really have to talk about professors and class right now? shouldn’t we be celebrating our survival of the first week of classes?”

“and so she speaks!” hardcase bursts into a fit of laughter, taking another swig of his bottle, “sorry, you just hadn’t spoken in a while. i thought you went out to the dance floor or something.”

swiveling your head, your eyes dart over to the corner of the car, nose wrinkling in disgust at the sight of the mass of students, bodies pressed together, sweat plastering their bodies and clothes. why were some of them wearing jeans in august? surely they were overheated, the air muggy and thick. summer in coruscant was awful, even if the sun was well set.

the scent of alcohol and sweat hung in the air, almost clouding over your booth. shaking your head, your gaze falls on hardcase, his eyes glinting with the promise of more teasing, “i would rather not be included in the student body orgy.”

“everyone must be took drunk to care that they’re getting showered in sweat,” rex mutters, “tup, do you know what time coach buir said we had practice?”

“i think he mentioned something about weights at five,” a new voice remarks, flicking a water drop at hardcase, “that means if we leave now, we’ll all be getting about four and a half hours of sleep.”

“here we go,” hardcase lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes, “typical wolffe. always gotta ruin the fun.”

“i’m just trying to look out for your dumbass because i know you’re going to bitch about it tomorrow morning. i’d rather not run laps in the morning either for any tardiness. you know how much coach hates when we’re late,” wolffe growls, before taking a glance at his phone, “i don’t know about you guys, but i’m going to be responsible and head out now.”

beside you, rex mumbles a strand of curses under his breath, leaning his head against your shoulder, “sorry but i should probably head out too. the last thing i want is wolffe bitching and shit tomorrow. you know how he is, bein’ captain and all.”

closing your eyes, you exhale, gritting your teeth, “so you’re just going to leave me here?”

“i’ll leave my ringer on if you need me,” lips graze your temple, “hey, maybe you’ll run into that hot professor of yours. he can pick up a couple drinks for ya on his tab. i got the ones from earlier on mine. don’t worry about paying me back either.”

sliding out of the booth, you allow rex to make his way past you, “is this your ‘i’m sorry for leaving you behind on a packed night’?”

“perhaps,” the blonde shoots you a wink, patting his pocket, “again, if you need me, please don’t hesitate to call. i can come get you or pay for your uber. love you.’

“love you,” shifting your head upwards, you place a gentle kiss on rex’s cheek, “make it back safe. drink some water and take some tylenol. don’t want you feeling hungover in the morning.”

“i’m more worried about the ass-beating that’ll ensue when hardcase doesn’t show up on time,” a warm chuckle fills your ear, “see ya, bestie. make it home safe.”

“i will,” you take rex’s hand, squeezing it gently, “bye.”

“bye,” rex takes a step forward, waving a hasty goodbye before catching up with the rest of the boys, loud laughter rumbling amongst the group as they make their way towards the exit.

swallowing thickly, you slide back into the booth, fingers gripping the half-empty cup. of course they all had to leave, abandoning you on one of the busiest nights of the year. students of all ages, undergrad to grad, linger in groups, chatter filling the space as the song ended, leaving a pause before the next one started.

“you look lonely,” a voice, smooth and brassy, sounds to your right.

next to your table, stood a nautolan, drinks in hand. squeezing your cup, you blink, registering he was speaking to you, “oh -- um, uh, hi.”

“mind if i join you?”

“not at all,” you shake your head, “feel free to take a seat.”

“i’ve never seen you here before,” he states, flashing you a dazzling grin, “i’m nigel, a junior in bio. how about you?”

“oh,” you pause, biting your lower lip, “i’m just in health sciences. i’m a junior too.”

“a gorgeous girl like you doesn’t have a name?” carefully, nigel slides a cup towards you, “i talked to one bartender but another brought me my drink. somehow i ended up with two.”

cautiously, you accepted the drink, but didn’t take a sip, “thank you, but i’ve had my fair share tonight.”

which, you weren’t wrong. as you sat in the booth, you couldn’t help but feel this tingly feeling, as it rippled from your head to your toes. it was almost as if you weighed nothing, as if you were bouncy and light. a blissful sensation, really.

yet, there was this other feeling in your stomach, gnawing at you, threatening to consume you whole. the leather on the seat clung to your thighs, the temperature of the air elevating a few degrees as nigel’s eyes narrow into slits, his lips falling.

“come on, you don’t want a free drink?”

“like i said,” you clear your throat, “i’ve had my fair share tonight. i don’t want to feel it in the morning, ya know?”

“hm,” nigel hums, a hand darting across the table, finding yours, “could i interest you in something else, maybe? something like you come home with me instead, and i can offer you something other than drinks? we could have some fun, and then i could eat you for brea--”

“hey love,” suddenly, a hand falls on your shoulder, “i asked for what you wanted but they were out for the night.”

glancing upwards, your heart skips a beat at the person beside you.

warm amber eyes lock with yours, nearly glowing in the dim light, “i didn’t frighten you, did i?”

“hey,” nigel’s voice cuts in, “we’re having a conversation here, bud.”

his attention shifts, eyes hardening at the sight of the nautolan, “i was not aware that they hadn’t taken the trash out for the evening.”

“m-maul--” you begin, but you’re swiftly interrupted by his lips connecting with yours.

the kiss was brief, only a mere peck. yet, you couldn’t help but melt. his lips were soft, and gods were they so tantalizing as he pulls away, glowering over to nigel.

if only a moment could have lasted just a second longer.

“i believe you should have left the moment she expressed her disinterest in you. she can hold her own but gods you must be a fly or something. some sort of pest. leave her alone.”

nigel did not utter another word, exiting the booth promptly while you remained seated, cheeks burning hot, a fiery feeling in your chest. maul cleared his throat, lingering at your side.

“do you need someone to walk you home?”

“do you always kiss your students?”

there’s a brief exhale, the zabrak’s fingers finding your chin. he was more dressed than the last time you saw him, a light cotton tee clinging to his torso, the color complementing his tattoos. a pair of heather grey shorts hung on his hips, the cotton leaving nothing to the imagination. it helped him blend in, giving him a facade that he was just like you. a student stopping by the bar for some fun.

tilting your head upwards, you meet his gaze once more, finding it increasingly more difficult to maintain your composure as he leans in, chain nearly dangling in your face.

“i only kiss the ones who have my utmost attention.”

“how did you manage to slip in without people noticing? you’re pretty popular on campus, you know.”

“kallus lets me slip in through the back,” in the corner of your eye, there’s this shiny object.

quickly, you realize it’s a six-pack of bottles. beer bottles.

maul continues, his voice gravelly as his fingers remain on your chin, “this is the only bar in town who carries this kind of beer i like. now, is that a satisfactory explanation?”

“it’s good enough,” you’re surprised that he could hear the words your voice was so low, “you should leave.”

“not without getting you an uber first,” maul sets the six-pack on the table, pulling his phone out, “what’s your address?”

“i can make it home just fine,” you scoff, “just go already before we draw in any more unwanted attention.”

“i know you can make it home just fine,” you tense at the firm tone in his voice, “i just need to know you’ll get there safe. it’ll bring me some peace of mind. also, why are you here by yourself?”

“rex had to leave,” you mutter, fidgeting with your own phone, “just go, all right? it’s not a big deal.”

“all right,” the zabrak gives in, huffing, “i’ll see you in class on monday.”

“what if nigel recognizes you and reports you?” bringing a hand to your mouth, you feel horrible for even asking the question.

but, it needed to be said.

after all, your psychology professor conducted some very unprofessional behavior. not only in front of one student, but an entire bar full of them, no less.

“don’t worry about it,” maul places a tender hand on your shoulder, “if i do, it was worth it. i’m sure that prick was too intoxicated to even establish who i was. don’t worry about it too much, okay? i don’t want you losing sleep over your professor.”

“i lose sleep over your class anyways,” taking your cup, you finish off your drink from earlier, recoiling at the lukewarm taste.

grabbing his six-pack maul shoves his phone in his pocket, clearing his throat.

“be prepared to lose some more, love. you won’t sleep much when it comes to me. see you in class.”

“s-see you in class.”

as the zabrak slips into the crowd, weaving between all sorts of species and humans, the ambiance seems to crumble away, leaving you in the booth, mind reeling, wondering what the hell just happened.

maul, the professor from your psychology class, the one you saw at the gym, nearly half-naked, clobbering away at a punching bag, also happened to run into you at the bar, stepping in to prevent any more harassment from a very drunk nautolan. he kissed you. his lips were on yours, leaving you dazed and entranced, somehow craving more.

fingers brush your lips, and for a moment you forget that they’re your own, ghosting over the plush skin where his mouth once touched.

gods, this was only fuel to the fire, this attraction that left you yearning more and more.

yearning for him.

this wasn’t a big deal, was it? surely he would’ve done this for any other student? surely he wasn’t giving you some sort of special treatment. this was just some sort of fucked up incident. a fever dream, of sorts. gods, it sure fucking felt like one.

surely this wasn’t going to make things awkward in class. after all, you were going to see him bright and early within a matter of days. maybe he’d forget about it. maybe it was nothing.

this wasn’t a big deal. he said it wasn’t.

you were sure of one thing, though.

monday morning was going to be an interesting one, that was without a doubt.

☆☆☆☆☆

taglist: @maulieber @galacticdream @anakinswhore @zabrak-show @justalittlecloud @hounding-around @meshlamando @fandom-gal44 @xcertaindarkthingsx @maximumninjavoid @alwayshappysith @doobiwankenooku @javierpenaspinkshirt

#maul #maul x reader #darth maul x reader #darth maul #professor maul #professor!maul #maul smut #darth maul smut #star wars x reader

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

Text

Robin Hood Rewatch: 1x13 A Clue: No

“Previously on” recaps can be annoying, but there is an art to it and I love a good one. This is a very, very good one, summarising the last episode with ramping tension as the music builds, then cuts to a different take of the last scene as the theme song starts, and we’re into the opening credits.

This is a long one, so it’s going under the cut:

Guy estimates that the “inner circle” of Robin’s gang is “a dozen at the most” and I find it very funny that neither he nor Vaisey have twigged that it’s always the same five people around him. What’s more annoying than funny is that they don’t know how many are in the “outer circle” because that really should have been A Thing in the show (Forrest and Hanton should have come back to guest star! I will never let this go!) After all, we see Little John with more men in the first episode, there are other outlaws in the forest/across the shire that are either working with Robin, or pose a risk to them, and I wish this had been explored.

Djaq manhandling and holding her sword to Pitts’s throat - I love Djaq.

The first arrow Robin shoots is intended for Vaisey, but one of the guards inconveniently walks in front and gets it in the chest. The second arrow is intended for Vaisey as well but he ducks (”my tooth!”) so we can’t fault the writing for a credible attempt at Why Doesn’t Robin Just Kill The Sheriff, because in this scene at least, he tries.

Bye Pitts. You certainly were.

I actually really love this scene (which probably seemed odd given the high body count), but Robin drawing his sword and charging, with Much, Djaq, and John backing him up to avenge Marian’s apparent death/make a final stand, as the music shifts from the jaunty Rescue Theme to Marian’s Theme, just gets me every time.

Although thanks to the cast commentary, I can’t unsee Djaq flipping that guy over her head twice, but hey, it’s a badass move. Clearly they didn’t shoot enough coverage of this fight, because we get the same action from several different angles.

Other than the flashback in episode 8, I think this is the only time we see Robin in Crusader mode, and just how lethal he (and the gang) can be when unleashed and with nothing to lose. Even when the enemy retreats Robin remains kind of wild-eyed with rage unsated, and it takes a beat for him to snap out of it. It’s symbolism time - he sticks his sword in the ground and leaves it there, and we don’t see it again this episode (or much in season 2).

There’s some nice acting going on from everyone in this scene - just utter exhaustion, Allan and Will oblivious to why the rest are so distraught, Much taking it upon himself to tell them but can’t say the words, and Robin with the finality of “she’s dead.” Their faces!

Djaq is still holding two swords as she enters the cave, which is a nice character beat - no doubt the fight also brought back unpleasant memories/triggers for her, and she remains on edge, for the moment unwilling to give up her defences even when the threat is gone.

I really love this scene too (the gang mourning Marian) and I think it’s quite deftly written - Djaq’s immediate reaction being the importance of a quick burial (as per Islamic tradition), Robin trying to keep it together, attempting to ask John/Will to build a coffin but unable to, so deflecting to ask Djaq to prepare Marian’s body, before trying twice again; John soothing him and taking charge. Will’s single tear and speaking of Marian’s goodness. Much responding with “Good? Oh, she was... She was...” looking to Robin because of course his thoughts are for Robin’s grief before his own, and also that his own relationship with Marian was complex. Allan: “She was alright...yeah” that says so much, and of course John’s “Her, we liked.” Again, some fine acting, kudos everyone.

“I loved her and I never told her” is ironic because Robin still won’t tell her until halfway through the next season, and if he had in the aftermath of her apparent death he could have spared himself a lot of the angst of the rest of the episode. But of course he doesn’t tell her, doesn’t learn from this moment, because emotions are hard, and sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

I really love that it’s Allan that notices that Marian is alive, and his little “told ya” flourish.

Score note: while Marian is “dead” her Theme is strings, when she opens her eyes, it’s back to the guitar.

Guy’s guilt in finding out his impending marriage to Marian is based on false pretenses - would he still have forced the marriage if he’d known that from the start?

Djaq still has her two swords as they take Marian back to Knighton.

Guy, if your first instinct when told Marian is not at home is that she’s run away rather than marry you...maybe take a hint? “She cannot run from me” is a big yikes, and this confuses me as to Guy’s motivation in this scene. Did he intend to tell Marian the truth, but then convince himself otherwise (because “the excitement of the wedding” =/= “the wedding excites her”), but then why so angry when he thinks shes run? The difference between getting someone go/being left, I suppose.

Illness is a perfectly plausible explanation for delaying the wedding that no one seems to think of.

Edward is actually pretty bang on in this scene with Robin from a father’s perspective, telling him to let Marian go if he cannot stop it, and do the right thing. On the other hand...

“I am sick of doing the right thing” is why Robin is such a compelling character for me - because it is hard to always be good, to be held to that higher standard, and make the unselfish choice. I enjoy narratives that explore that, and this show is surprisingly unflinching about it, exemplified by:

The next scene, which is one of the most emotionally brutal/hard to watch of the entire show, in which Robin lashes out and does everything to drive Much away, including calling him “a pox” and a “small man” until Much’s heart visibly breaks.

Now I don’t want to excuse Robin here, because he is objectively awful to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who is trying to give him support but also telling him some much needed hard truths (even if it is slightly self-serving, which is what what seems to set Robin off). But at the end of the day, if he loves Marian he needs to accept that it is her choice to marry Guy, to “do the right thing” to (she thinks) protect her father - and later of he does just that. For now Edward and Much are both right, it is more important for him to try and protect the king from Vaisey, because if he is ousted and Richard back on the throne so many lives would be improved, including the people of Locksley. But Robin has been pushed to breaking point all season, and has now snapped and can’t see reason, but is stuck in his own grief/rage.

But unlike previously, when Robin said regrettable things in the heat of the moment and then immediately took them back, this is a calculated attack designed to hurt Much the most, because he loves Robin so much that it takes A Lot to push him away. It’s a bold move to make your hero so unlikable in such a moment, because Robin really is unforgivably cruel here, and trust the audience to understand why. I mean, I don’t want to bang on about the PTSD, but it’s (partly) the PTSD, based on a triggering, precipitating event causing a self-destructive spiral. Robin needs some Ye Olde Therapy.

For all the talk about Robin getting his title and lands back, nothing is said about what happens to Gisborne once he does, other than that they can’t prove he was the one who tried to assassinate Richard. Because really, Richard probably would believe Robin even though the tattoo was burned away, and Guy’s certainly committed other crimes that could be testified to just like they’re intending for Vaisey - and let’s be real, it’s not like a king needs evidence to order someone’s death (hello, season 2 finale). Boom - Guy executed, marriage to Marian annulled, problem solved!

So, the scene between Marian and Guy, in which Marian is more concerned with whether or not Guy tried to kill the king than the fact that he stabbed her. But its understandable, because Marian thinks there’s no way out that doesn’t risk her father’s life, and it’s easier to convince herself that maybe Guy didn’t do it to make the best of things. I think she does have some kind of feelings for him, or is at least moved by his feelings for her, and believes if nothing else she can influence him/continue working from the inside; giving up the mantle of the Nightwatchman but doing the same work (in a different way) as Lady Gisborne.

And then it’s Robin/Marian angst, round 3, and it’s a far cry from their interaction in the cave milliseconds away from “I love yous” - in both tone and body language they’re back in defensive positions talking past one another. The tension, it be thick.

Marian is making her best rationalisation with “deprived of love” and Robin not at all buying the Woobification 101. Once she tells him her decision to marry Guy, he accepts it, but it’s Marian’s reaction that’s telling, she’s surprised that he doesn’t argue, deep down she wants him to fight for her, to say that the real reason she shouldn’t marry Guy is because he loves her. It’s quite a contrast from the previous scene where Guy was very open about how he feels about her, while Robin deflects, but while she was conflicted about Guy trying to kiss her, she’s frustrated, disappointed, and angry when Robin leaves.

But really, this is rather unfair of Marian, because Robin did already declare himself in the cave (”we should be together”) without her reciprocation, so expecting him to take the first step again without any encouragement is a bit much.

Would a depressed person sit slumped against a tree all night?

“But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, I will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine.” Yeah...not going to touch that one. I appreciate that there’s a lot going on with Guy and many, many people find it compelling, but I’m afraid it’s not really a narrative that interests me.

Speaking of pure hearts: Much. Faced with the same choice he was counseling Robin on, but with the additional wrinkle of knowing the king’s an imposter, he still decides to stop the wedding. “Her heart belongs to another” is A Moment and I don’t know exactly why but I find his very soft pleas following this and calling her “my lady” very affecting.

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she punched Guy in the face.

“A trap. I knew it.” I haaaaate this line. NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT ROBIN YOU KNEW NOTHING OF THE KIND IF YOU HAD KNOWN YOU WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF A DICK FOR LEAVING UGGGHHHH.

“We can’t be seen together” Right in front of my salad two guards on front gate duty, who get front row tickets to the kiss. Look at them! They’re right there! This show drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes.

I do love this dress though.

“An audience with the king has been suspended!” Going out on one last pun.

Regardless, I really love this episode. Despite the lack of fallout from the emotional wringer they all went through, I can’t help but smile when the gang does their silly little jump for joy at the end.

#robin hood bbc #robin hood rewatch #1x13 a clue: no #long post

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previouslynebraskan · 3 years

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Why humans are assholes

Hi, my pen name is Gwendolyn, and welcome to my TED talk on empathy

*side note, I suck at writing, and my train of thought is derailed frequently. So buckle up, and I’ll be surprised if you make it with me to the end, as we don’t know organization.

First off, I’ll disclaim something terrible about myself. I’m a Christian. Even worse. I’m a rosary rattler. A Catholic! Oh and you thought it couldn’t get worse? I’m not even a good one. God and I are only on speaking terms when I need him (which is pretty frequent, but not the point). Church feels like an obligation most weeks, and just because I know the rules and believe in the rules, doesn’t mean that I follow them.

Alrighty! Terrible things out of the way. Let’s begin. Humans are assholes. Most people, especially the population of Tumblr, will agree with me. Between human atrocities, selfishness, and down right lack of care, humans are just assholes. I am too. I am human. Ask my siblings. Like any good older sister, I wanted nothing to do with my siblings, and when forced to see them at school, I was unprecedently mean to them. Ask my husband. I am ridiculously selfish, and only do things when it suits me. And yet, there is an entire history of the human race, with worse individuals than myself. And a lot of people might see that, and think, cool, I feel better about myself, because I’m not Hitler. I feel better about myself because I wasn’t a member of the KKK. Well, personally, I don’t. The next disclaimer I am going to make about myself, I’m a self-diagnosed empath. I’ve never been to a therapist. I don’t currently have plans to either, but I’ll let God decide that path later. The reason I bring this up, and the reason I mentioned my religion at the beginning, is because I truly believe that if not for my first disclaimer, my second might not exist.

I am a crier. And I get annoyed at criers. But I don’t cry at reasonable things. No. I cry at other people’s feelings. Let’s bastardize the golden rule real quick. For those who are unaware, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Now, I’m sure many people recall going through a phase where they could translate that in their still learning brains to “I can treat people however I want because I wouldn’t care if they were that way to me.” Now back to the golden rule. The bastardization is, put yourself in someone else’s shoes. How many of us got told this by their parents at a young age after not playing nicely with another kid? Apparently, God took it upon Himself to write that verse on my heart. And it went something like this: I cried when my mother told me that her grandmother (whom I had only met twice and had no actual recollection of) died. I was inconsolable when my grandfather died. So much so that even now, almost fifteen years later, it still stops me in my tracks, my heart hurts so much. I cried when Michael Jackson died. I didn’t really even like his music that much. I’ve cried at almost every movie I’ve ever seen. My sister’s speech at my wedding included the moment where she had to chaperone me on a date with my then boyfriend, and we went to Frozen. Now yes, I cried at the scene when her parents die in the shipwreck. But it gets worse. Elsa is out there, just ran away, no plans for shelter yet apparently, and she begins to break out into song. At first I’m fine. But then I can feel my heart, as she sings, “well now they know.” I start bawling my eyes out. And all I can give in response to my sister’s quizzical look of “What the fuck is wrong with you???” (Yes I cursed, I told you, not one of the good ones. Fuck off), was: “She’s just so happy!” I wouldn’t necessarily say I was sad at that time. But I could feel the relase that an animated character was expressing on the big screen. I could feel the weight come off of her shoulders, and I cried. I mourned for what she went through, but shed tears of joy that she had found peace. Tonight. I was watching Facebook videos instead of taking care of my nightly routine of getting ready for bed. And a Mengele twin told her story of survival. When she mentioned looking around for her father and older sisters, I felt that. When she said she could still see her mother’s outstreched arms, I could see that. When she mentioned the panic of trying to save her sister years after liberation, trying to find records of what was done to them, her rage and anger. And then her forgiveness. Do you know how strong someone has to be in order to forgive? To let go of the pain in your heart, knowing you’ll never get revenge. You’ll never get an answer. And you just let it go? That strength is super human. This week, as we pass the 20th anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11, my hometown did a wonderful commemoration. I cried. My aunt gave me a look of disgust because I was crying, again. I cried not only for those who lost their lives, but for their families who would never be whole, for the heroes who stepped up, then and now. I am a proud Navy wife. My husband is out sacrificing his time, so that I don’t have to. And so that I can worship my stupid religion that I cling to, so I can walk around saying inappropriate words and wear not enough clothing. But he made that choice. There are a lot who didn’t. Earlier this week, someone posted the transcription of the phone call of flight 93. The moment that he said that the passengers wanted to sacrifice their lives, for the sake of our country, I hurt. And then he asked the person on the other end of the line to pray. Another video this week, an ex soldier, who fought early on in Afghanistan was telling a story about one of his soldiers. They were getting ready for a raid that would likely kill them. His soldier asks, I know we signed up to fight, but why are we doing this? The man’s response was, for the people up in that tower who didn’t. He goes on to explain the story of a young mother. Two kids. Went to work like any other day, and her last attempt at human decency was to hold her skirt down as she jumped out of the burning tower, so the people below couldn’t see up her skirt.

Crpl. Page was a Marine from my state who just passed away. He was two years younger than me. I never knew him. But I grieve for his family and friends.

See the worst part about being an empath in a world where human’s are assholes, is there’s never a shortage of people’s feelings to feel. I’ve been told that you can experience an emotion so strongly that your body’s only reaction to the volume of what it feels is to cry. And that resonates with me. I feel joy to such an extreme when I’m with my family, celebrating time together. I feel the sorrow of people missing loved ones, and their hearts breaking. And there are times when I wonder if it’s a gift? Or if it’s a curse. It’s a gift to be able to go to someone and say, I can feel for you and your situation. I don’t feel sorry for you. I feel your pain as though it were my own. But it’s a curse to feel the attrocities of humanity and just sit and wonder why it had to happen. Why it had to come to this. I got told I was crying for attention. I wasn’t, but that didn’t matter. Supposedly, behavioral psychology could “fix me” if I wanted it. I could be trained to control my emotions, and process them in a way that wasn’t so consuming. It would definetly help my self diagnosed depression. But let’s posit that God made me this way for a reason. He gave me this gift with a purpose in mind. What then? The problem is, I don’t know how to effectively use it without letting it ruin my life. I can never be a therapist, because I would be able to take on the feelings of my clients. And while I do very much believe in tough love, I also belive that if you just have the right push in the right direction, great changes can be made. Would the Holocaust have happened if Hitler had better relationship with his mother? (this is a personal piece, I am reflecting on history classes I haven’t taken since high school. I’m not fact checking this. Don’t at me.) Would Columine have taken place if those kids had been in a better place mentally?

You know what the awful thing is...? Look at all of these events. Look at all of these heart wrenching dates in history. And then look what came out of them. Out of 9/11 came one of the most unified fronts America has had in a long time. Out of World War II came men of valor. A chemical reaction occurs when you take an object, and force it to experience a high degree of change. And that is what gives us assholes grit. Our experiences make us tougher, and make us better. And maybe less of a crybaby in my case. Or more of a cyborg who doesn’t experience emotion for fear of being consumed by them.

Ramble is over. For those of you who persisted and tried to keep up, good job and I’m sorry. For those who didn’t, don’t worry, I wouldn’t blame you.

Some effort is better than none at all, and if all you are capable of is existing today, then I hope you do, and I know you will do it beautifully.

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coralsgrimes · 2 years

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Ok that last anon was creepy as fuck. She was 17???? How do people go after Ben for dating girls way younger than him but think it’s okay to call his sexual photoshoot with a minor hot? Like make it make sense. I know it was just one anon but the shifting moral standards of some of the Ben fan turned haters really bothers me. It’s fine to call him out for things in his past but a lot of them on DL were around when it was happening and didn’t care. Ben was everyone’s perfect little angel until he got caught with the quack 🧚🏼‍♀️ and it’s just so shitty that people base what is or isn’t acceptable behavior on if they like him still.

Also the way people will take one thing and lose their minds is embarrassing. Julianne ate a carb for once and isn’t in revealing clothing => a bunch of people ask about how that obviously means Ben got her pregnant. The hysteria following the giant leaps to conclusion over every innocuous thing that Ben or Julianne does just makes everyone look like clowns.

I like your blog and this isn’t meant to be hate, you’re a great balance of nasty snark and objectivity but i would be careful posting some tweets if they’re from younger people. DL severely died down because they were taking mad shit about Twitter fans and one of Ben’s minor fan found out they were making fun of her sanity and looks, she (understandably imo) got extremely upset and then threatened to “end it.” You honestly seem like one of his most normal fans left, neither up his ass nor swearing to anyone who will listen that he’s the spawn of satan, but from how fast the quality of asks have deteriorated I would bet some of his super angry fans have found this blog and they clearly have no qualms about going too far.

-👑 anon ( I refuse to put any fairies whatsoever because that category of species has been forever ruined for me)

First of all ye made my day hun! Everyone look up there, star fucking pupil, cuz the rest of my inbox is Jules, pregnancy, conspiracy and calling me out for bringing up the Bella shoots infested… Some messages are bland repeats. Do ye people runned out of ideas?

I tried to bring up the swans incident before but usually one of two things happens. Ppl either ignore it or say that I exaggerate AND THEY FIND REASONS TO EXCUSE THE SHIT. Like it’s the shit, us being Bennys fans and engaging with him and basically paying for his living with our attention, we don’t have to agree with all of his choices but what for sure we can do is expect accountability for them. But it’s exactly as ye say. The accountability expectations are selective af (not Benny fandom specific problem tho). DL and LSA (lsa especially!) are full of hatred towards women so they won’t look twice at her being a minor, plus she is found attractive by the media standards so there's another reason not to talk about her. Just look up comments from when the pics dropped and Ben fans were awful to Bella (including the german lady…). This is such a big issue overall and what they say is WELL THE INDUSTRY WORKS LIKE THAT! IT’S NORMAL! WHAT CAN YOU DO? Ye it is true, shit like this is everyday bullshit. but still he went for that shit. He could bail? Like he could bail on naming the song 11:11? Yep so I just push this shit to the back of them drawers cuz what's the point of talking about it and only trigger myself? This, the over the top nsfw content his fans create and the Montana travels are what destroyed Ben for me. I have my personal dislike for the fairy queen, completely separate from Benny shit. The Bulianne stuff is just entertainment and a joke, if it's still not evident to some.

The pregnancy shit is running wild and her being in London fuels the shit out of it… Personally I hate pregnancy rumours. Only thing on my mind when I see them speculations is the whole Mariah Carey and Ellen situation. Not for me, imma just gonna leave…

Meet Coral part #noonecares. I’m pretty straightforward and I usually expect people to be the same towards me. The line of what I take as acceptable talk about is probably further than it should be and I’m always almost crossing it anyways. Would say that I’m kinda at peace with myself now and I speak from my heart all times. Lost some people over it but bestie I won’t stand by your stupid bullshit. But here's the gimmick. I have terrible anxiety. I can’t open up like that to people I don’t know. Last year I would never start a fucking blog and casually message with people online. Welp, the pandemic helped with that a lot. I’m making progress here x.x Tho I’m afraid I’m gonna say/post something that I should not. Something that is way way too much. And like ye know that people might start to hate me out of nowhere. I’ve got many very not okay asks over the weeks I’m here, and yesterday and today I’ve got some more. Won’t post those cuz like it's too much even for me. My deal with Benny Boy is that I enjoy the little things he does but at the same time I want him to get better and take responsibility for the shit that's real, I don't believe in half assed shit, the stuff is not black and white I know, but clarity would be cool. I said this before, many times. Beyyn is not bad but he could have been so much more and so much better. They either try to excuse his actions or try to crucify him for the wrong stuff cuz they put him on pedestal so fucking high, and now wanna push him off of it. So now i’m like enjoying the shit but not hoping for much change in Ben anymore ;c

The twitter shit x.x ugggh I know but some of them tweets are just so good and cringe I can’t not look? And I remember the stuff ye talking about, one of Benny's fans and the DL trolls shitshow. I’m not a big guy tho. I have my lil corner here for ma bitching I made while being locked up with covid… But gonna tone it down just in case cuz I don’t wanna hardcore fangirs or hardcore antis in here x.x

AGAIN MUFFIN! Tis so nice <3 Thanks for looking out for me, I appreciate it, truly <3

#👑#the muffin queen #or royals lol #tired of the ben shit rn #seriously the shit is too much right the fuck now #should just ignored it but tooo bitch #speak yer shit as ye want #its not wendys x.x

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badluckbee · 4 years

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the last of us part 2 opinions that no one asked for but i need to get out of my system !!SPOILERS!!

i literally don’t give a shit if the story is for you or not, art is subjective. BUT i think that there are some fundamental misunderstandings about what makes a good game or not?? idk you’re welcome to disagree but people are throwing around a lot of “i didn’t like it, therefore it is bad” ideas & it’s not sitting right with me. there’s gonna be spoilers in this post you’ve been warned.

i loved this game. it challenged me and even though it has its issues, it was still really good it still made me think and feel things so some of these reviews have seriously made me go ??!??!?!?!??

if you didn’t like tlou2 and want to argue with people that did like it about how bad a game it is i’m not going to do that,, you can go play the first game again i’m not stopping you from not liking and not playing this game. this is simply my perception of the game and the most common criticisms i’ve seen.

if the only reason you don’t like the game is because boohoo they killed my favourite character,, literally as someone who has had the majority of my favourite characters die, they didn’t disrespect joel by killing him & ppl being THIS babyish about it & calling for them to rewrite the whole story is immature and embarrassing as fuck. that’s my biggest problem with the “fanbase” right now, we all knew that joel did a bad thing in saving ellie and we know that he’s done a ton of bad things before that, remember “we’re shitty people, joel, it’s been that way for a long time”?? tess wasn’t wrong, it makes sense that someone someday would come back for him and they did. if that’s what you’re mad about lol get a grip it’s not like we don’t see him throughout the whole game. (also i thought we all knew he was gonna die from the first trailer anyway) (also also did you guys not pick up on it when there was a song where the first line was “if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself” they laid out the whole game for you right there lmao)

things i’ve seen in reviews repeatedly that didn’t sit right:

1) joel and tommy wouldn’t have trusted abby.

joel and tommy have been living in a close knit community for four years with friends and family, there’s already a false sense of security. as far as they know, this is just a group passing through, they had no reason at all to believe that there was any malicious intent after not only saving abby but abby returning the favour and helping them out. they’ve never met them before, up until ‘the moment’ they’re very nice and welcoming, they also needed abby to trust them if they were all going to get out of that mess of infected alive. (ppl also forget that in the first game joel was, although hesitant, still perfectly willing to trust and travel with people, including henry and sam, who were kids just like this group so don’t play the ‘first game’ card)

2) ellie should have killed abby.

you’re seriously trying to tell me that killing abby would magically cure ellie of her ptsd??? if you weren’t blinded by your love of joel you’d know that’s not true lol literally the point is that killing her wouldn’t bring joel back it would only leave lev alone and vulnerable like ellie was and the meaningless violence would continue. literally none of the killing the characters did in this game made them feel remotely better, that’s the point. abby moved on from her pain by finding lev and looking after him, not by killing joel, just like ellie needs to begin to heal, not kill abby. if you wanted that fight to have a choice of whether you could kill abby or not i could POSSIBLY accept that but i would absolutely choose to spare abby every time. that last fight didn’t feel right anyway imo, i wanted to let her go before they even started.

3) ellie should have ended up with dina.

this game is shouting at your face that your actions have consequences!! no other ending made sense, if ellie killed abby and went back to find dina & jj still at the farm waiting for her there would be no lesson learned and no character growth!!

3) you shouldn’t have played as abby.

this is a grey one to me, i absolutely think you should play as abby but i think that the order was a little off, no one would be rooting for her over ellie after she killed a favourite character but if you have an open mind abby’s section of the game is really really fun and has some of the best moments in the game. i have some thoughts about what i personally think would have been super cool and i’m going to put it at the end of this post on the off chance that someone reads it but i totally get why they did it the way they did and it worked very well from abby’s day 2 onwards!!

4) it’s too violent?????

tell me what i’m missing here??? nd was as transparent as possible that this is a violent game centred around revenge and hatred that would feature brutal violence, smart ai and devastating cutscenes. yet there are people complaining that the game is too violent WHILE describing how bad they want to fuck up abby???? i understand not enjoying the violence, i wasn’t too bothered bc i’m pretty desensitised & i use way more stealth anyway but there were moments when it didn’t feel right & that’s okay?? that’s what they warned us about???

5) it’s just pushing an agenda, it’s too sjw.

people exist that are not male, white, straight and cis. stop crying about it.

i know no one will read this but i had a thought about a way to order the story to connect more with abby & needed to put it somewhere:

ok imagine for a minute if they had marketed it as a spinoff not a new game with new characters & no ellie or joel. you start as abby from her first day in seattle, forget everything before that for now!! imagine playing from there through to day 3 as normal, there are some very vague references to her dad dying and to her finally finding the killer but nothing that’s a giveaway for who her dad was or what happened in jackson. then we get to day 3 and that sniper scene (which was fuckin spectacular btw) and we see that it’s tommy there and it’s like ??!??!?!?!!??!? but we have to let it go for now to move the story on until we get to the theatre and we see eLLIE ?!???!??!?!!?!!?!!!!? and that’s where it cuts off and we go back and play as ellie and we see what abby did

i’m not a writer and i know that there would be problems with doing it that way but wouldn’t it be such a plot twist if we had been playing as abby from the start and connected with her and her friends more before finding out that ellie and tommy are even in the game never mind on their way to kill us??? i get why they didn’t do that though lol no one would have played it.

anyway this post isn’t attacking people for not liking the game or thinking that there are issues, this post is specifically about the people that claim that it’s objectively a bad game because they personally don’t like it.

here are some fuckin good awe-worthy moments that people are conveniently forgetting about:

- this is personal but tommy is one of, if not my favourite character, at least to me he’s one of the most interesting so seeing jeffrey pierce get more screentime was a big win for me!!

- jesse, yara and lev are DELIGHTFUL i love them v v much

- the museum i cried so much it’s so cute

- the acting!!?!?!?? especially ashley, the scene where ellie forced the truth out of joel is my favourite scene in either game acting-wise it BROKE me

- i said it before but the sniper scene was incredible

- the rat king!!! i'm a wimp it was so scary but man that reveal was fantastic

- abby’s fear of heights,, HELLO that scene on the bridges!!! i’m not scared of heights but it really got me

- the hotel!! how does nd manage to make hotels so scary

- the switch between playable characters was a plot twist and a half!!!! i gasped it was so unexpected i loved it!!!

- actually showing that the characters aren’t invincible and struggle with what they’ve been through,, showing ellie’s ptsd was so important!!!!

- ok idk why but the scene in the first game with david in the restaurant makes me so nervous every time,, i start shaking and sometimes i cry when i finish it bc that’s the definition of horror to me i HATE it it’s too scary. so when i got to that parallel with ellie and abby at the theatre and ellie was ‘the david’ of that encounter i had to sit and think about it for a long time, that scene shook me and i love nd for doing that!!

there’s probably more but this is already the longest post i’ve ever made & i’m tired (i’m not the best at getting my points across as well so if there’s anything that’s worded weirdly that’s on me)

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always5hineee · 4 years

Text

Depreciation- Chapter 9: Reader Insert

Chapter warnings: Intense or adult themes

Word count: 1715

-----

The trial date was not a pleasant one. The entire night before and the morning of, her stomach was turning violently, causing her to avoid eating any breakfast. She knew it wasn't good for her, but it couldn't be helped. If she threw up in court, she could be ejected, which is the last thing she needed. She called the real lawyer as soon as possible to make sure their connection was adequate.

This would be the hardest part for her. She needed to do everything he told her down to the tiniest details. WayV's lives hung in the balance. She hadn't been able to arrange a meeting with them before the events, so she would just have to hope they were prepared for the things to come. The last she'd heard, Henry had been revived, but he was still refusing to eat, only accepting a slight drink of water after basically being forced to ingest it. They had put him on an IV for a few hours, but he was still weak.

She only realized a few hours before the trial that she didn't have anything to wear. Going into her room, she noticed that most of the clothes Lucas had provided to her were jeans, sweatpants, and t-shirts. None of those were really quite appropriate for such a serious occasion. The women's wardrobe downstairs were sealed up, which left her with only one dress out and available for her to use... the blue one.

With a vile taste in her mouth, she pulled it on, looking at herself in the mirror as she recollected the last time she'd worn it. Thankfully, it had been cleaned since, but it still carried awful connotations. There was no choice, she had to suffer. Putting on sensible makeup and gathering her things, she made her way to the courtroom. When she arrived, there were only a few minutes left before the trial. This was her intention. While it may have paid off to be earlier, she knew she wouldn't be able to stomach it.

She was seated near the band at the front of the room, although she was meant to be active during the trial, so she didn't really have a chance to talk to them. She glanced over once, feeling all of their eyes sliding over her form, giving her the chance to see Kun mouth a slight, 'you'll be fine'. At least, that's what she saw. Before she knew it, opening statements were underway.

"Your honor," the lawyer from the discovery period stated boldly. She was already annoying Y/N, to the point where she had to clench her fists out of sight to keep from seeming stressed. "I intend to prove that these five men, as well as their late and hospitalized associates, are guilty of the charges against them. These include harassment, assault, battery, kidnapping, rape, murder, and human trafficking, as was read to them along with their rights upon their arrest." The judge nodded, accepting this as an adequate opening statement.

"You may call your first witness."

"We'd like to start by questioning Qian Kun." The questioning went on for what felt like an hour to Y/N. The prosecution methodically called up every remaining member of WayV, one by one running through the facts again and again. She was sure the jury had to be sick of hearing the same story by now, but it was evident she was looking for a loophole. The man in her bluetooth agreed as much. What she didn't expect, though, was the first witness after that.

"Next, I call Y/N (L/N) to the stand." Eyes widening, she heard the man in her ear whisper, objection.

"Objection!"

"On what grounds?" The judge asked.

"The tribunal has proper objection when the trier of fact may be confused or misled by a lawyer serving as both advocate and witness. The opposing party has proper objection where the combination of roles may prejudice that party's rights in the litigation. A witness is required to testify on the basis of personal knowledge, while an advocate is expected to explain and comment on evidence given by others. It may not be clear whether a statement by an advocate-witness should be taken as proof or as an analysis of the proof."

Basically, what she was saying was that, by using her as a witness, the lawyer would be confusing the jury on which parts of her arguments were testimony, and which were legal advocacy. It was a valid argument, and she had already gained the permission to act as an advocate by the tribunal, (a fancy word for the court). Therefore, it was well within their rights to object.

"Objection sustained, for the time being." The judge agreed. "Let the record show that, should your testimony become integral to the case, the objection will be reevaluated." She nodded curtly in thanks.

Annoyed, but not giving up, the lawyer continued to go through witnesses. The next ones were women Y/N had never seen before in her life. There were a total of four, all of varying ages. She found it difficult to remember any of their names. As far as she picked up, the first two had been sold into slavery and escaped their masters, one had been supposedly attempted upon, but not caught, and the final claimed to have been raped by YangYang of all people.

"I would like to cross-examine the witnesses." Y/N stated as the trial continued. Speaking to the first girl, she kept her cool. She didn't have a choice in this moment but to follow every direction, take note of every answer and movement. She was starting to wish she had eaten. Still, now wasn't the time to think about this. There was a good- no, a near 100% chance at least one of these witnesses wouldn't hold up in court. She just had to figure out which one.

The first and second were the most difficult. With similar, yet vague stories about being picked up in seedy areas, thrown into a van, and suddenly being awoken under the direction of a new master, it was nearly impossible to confirm or deny their honesty. While they were under oath, words were easily brushed a side. Hell, WayV was doing it right now.

The fourth witness was where she started to get lucky. The man in her earbud told her to demand a medical examination in regards to the rape, and she almost immediately recanted her charges. This didn't look good for them, and the jury was swaying. The final, most pivotal testimony, though, was the third. This girl, around the age of 20 or so if she had to guess, had claimed to have almost been kidnapped at a WayV concert, but got away. Thankfully, she had someone on the outside able to pull her any details she wanted. This could be her ticket.

"Miss, can you tell me exactly what happened on the night in question?" Sniffling with a fair amount of dramatics, she pushed her faded green hair away from her face. She needed to get her roots redone, her makeup was a walking disaster, and her outfit screamed koreaboo. Not only that, but her little show was basically terrible.

"Yes... I went to go see WayV in Seoul because I am-" She paused, letting her eyelids flutter. "I was one of their biggest fans. At the end of the show, I went to go look around, because I wanted to experience it for as long as possible. I found the entrance to the back parking lot, and who did I find there but Xuxi himself!" The use of his name- especially one that wasn't his stage name- by this trash? It made her sick to her stomach. Still, she continued.

"Go on?"

"He pushed me up against the stadium wall and asked me if I wanted to get on the tour bus with him. Of course I said yes, but when we got on, I noticed like, five other girls! Of course, he didn't like any of them as much as me, but it was super fishy, so I tried to leave. He grabbed me and told me that I couldn't go, so I jerked my arm away and ran for dear life!"

So much for being a great lawyer- the prosecution had really put this clown up here? As a serious witness? She became more confident as she saw the jury's faces fall and scrunch, evidently feeling the same way about this girls as she did. Now for the closer...

"Miss, I'll remind you that you're under oath. And in light of that, I'd like to put forth these facts: on the night in question, exactly twenty four minutes after the closing song, the entirety of WayV was escorted to the front foyer for a two-hour fansign, giving them a direct alibi for your timeframe backed by hundreds, if not thousands of witnesses." The judge's eyebrows raised as she waited for the witness' statement. When none came, the judge called the room's attention.

"Lying under oath is a federal crime that could be met with a probation, fine, or a prison sentence up to five years. You will be taken for further investigation, and your rights will be read to you." Y/N suppressed a smile as the girl was escorted through the main floor of the courtroom. She knew she should be professional, leave it at that, but she couldn't help it. Just before the girl exited through the side door, Y/N yelled,

"And keep Lucas's name out of your mouth!" With a slight murmur starting anew in the room, the judge slammed the gavel onto the desk.

"Order in my court! Miss Y/N, may I remind you that you are at risk of being held in contempt?"

"Yes, I apologize." She quickly muttered, already embarrassed by the action. As she said this, though, the other lawyer smirked, stepping up.

"Your honor, we'd like to speak to one more person, if that's alright."

"Of course, the trial may continue." Nodding the lady thanked her, spinning around to face the faces in the seats.

"The prosecution calls Wong Yuk-Hei to the stand."

Go to Chapter 10

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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10 Fanfic Question Tag Game

I was tagged by @easilydistractedbyfanfic, @marauders-groupie, and @dylanobrienisbatman - Thank you!

Not sure who else hasn’t already done this or already been tagged... Please do it if you haven’t and want to!

1. what’s your favorite genre to write?

I mean, I feel like the answer is objectively “Romance” because I write fanfic but tbh I never think of it that way. Maybe because I’m so used to writing fic that I think in the sub-genres of fandom rather than in the sense of how the work would be classified on a bookstore shelf. Within fandom genres, I like to think I write a variety of things, fluff, angst, etc., but mostly it all comes back to pining, longing, softness, desire, uncertainty, and idiots in love.

2. do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfic?

I do pull from real-life in a way but... I try not to pull directly and literally. Every now and then I will take a real life location or event and write a fic around it but I feel like those stories tend to not be as good, or at least, I don’t like them as much. I don’t know if it’s because I know the big gap between the fiction and the reality and the fiction pales in comparison, or because it feels or is lazy, or because those stories really are weaker. More often, I pull from real life in the sense that writing is a way to work through things. So I might take a certain feeling that’s real but have it emerge in a different way, or I might take a certain small moment and write it in a different context. There’s an example of this in my most recent Chopped fic but I don’t want to reveal myself--plus it’s kinda personal in a way. The other best example I can think of is a Bellarke fic I wrote once in which Bellarke are college fuck-buddies-with-feelings; there are two incidents there that are straight up stolen from my relationship with my ex-girlfriend but everything else, including the main plot, is completely unrelated. But tbh even that fic kind of toes the line for me into “a little too real.”

In terms of other sources of inspiration... I get a decent number of ideas from songs. I write to prompts/challenges with some frequency. Sometimes I write things that fulfill certain fantasies of mine (A Watch with No Hands is an example). I would say most often, inspiration comes in the form of “Wow, this made me a feel a certain way, I want to create this feeling myself.” And that “this” could be anything; often it’s music, but it could be a TV show (”this makes me feel nostalgic for high school, I want to write something about adolescence,” for example) or something I’ve read.

3. do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

I write one-shots for the most part. I am not good with multi-part fics. At all. Sometimes I write very short things, under 1k, as writing exercises. But in terms of full-sized, I think 4k is about average for me??

4. do you prefer description or dialogue?

I’d say description. If I get on a roll with dialogue I can actually write it faster, but if I’m including long sections of dialogue, it’s because I need to get certain, specific information across, and so I get nervous about it before I start. I don’t want to forget something important! And I don’t want the important things to feel shoved in there, but to flow naturally! With description, I can start out with a general idea and just let it flow and see what happens.

5. favorite fanfic/book of all time?

My favorite book of all time, if I had to pick just one, is The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. I’ve only read it in its entirety once and I recently discovered my English copy is kinda falling apart, which is a bummer. It’s so beautiful and moving; one of those books that just transforms you as a person.

I’m also a big fan of Shirley Jackson, so like literally everything she’s ever written, including stuff I haven’t read yet, must be mentioned. And I’ve been reading Sigrid Undset’s The Master of Hestviken this past... over half a year probably, and she was a genius. America needs to understand this.

I don’t think I read enough fic to have a favorite of all time. :(

6. favorite trope?

SHARING A BED. I was thinking recently about how often I use this trope and I’m like, ‘should I tone it down?’ Then I decided, heck no, it’s not boring me yet. I just... I love beds, I love the comfort of a good bed, and I guess it’s just Absolute Peak Fantasy of me to imagine two people snuggly and happy in bed. Or snuggly and pining for each other in bed.

7. are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip?

Yes. I do tend to focus on one thing at a time in the sense that I might only work on one fic for a week, or two weeks, and I generally do have one ‘front burner’ project that gets most of my attention until it’s done, or it gets irredeemably stuck. But I don’t get an idea, write it, finish it, post it, and then go on to the next idea (unless I’m writing for an event with a deadline, like Chopped, or a gift exchange, where there’s basically no other choice). I always have multiple fics started and/or in the planning stages.

8. how long have you been writing for?

Aw fuck. Well... I started posting fic online in the fall of 2006, when I was a senior in high school. I started writing fic just for myself probably around 2002 or 2003. And I’ve been writing original stuff/in general...for as long as I’ve been able to write I guess? My first long form piece was handwritten in a 70-page wide-ruled notebook--filled the whole thing!--and that was in the fourth or fifth grade, I think. (For anyone who doesn’t want to do math, that was 20 years ago lololol.)

9. do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

I write mostly in the afternoons/evenings. If I’m having a good week, I can write for a bit after work, like around 6pm or so. On the weekends I say I’ll write in the morning but... it’s usually the afternoon at best. Sometimes I write before bed, if I really need it for the catharsis.

10. do you prefer to post your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before posting?

I don’t write that many multi-chapter WIPs but I admit I do not wait until the whole thing is done. I have a couple where I’m trying to do that... and I have sometimes been able to write ahead. But I just don’t have the self control. Plus like... writing is a solitary activity, and the great thing about fanfic is that there’s a chance to connect with people through it, to make it less solitary. So in a way, I guess this is a self-serving justification, but, what’s the point of hoarding what you’ve written?

#about me #tag games

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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896

Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not? Yes. It would make for hilarious stories for get-togethers and I think that winning a million dollars that I could use up for the rest of my life doing some dumb dares for a few hours would be worth it. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? Only if it’s dim. I don’t like the effect that flash gives. What would you do with eighty-three crazy straws? Find an aunt or uncle with a kid who’s having a birthday party soon so they can use the straws as giveaways or something. If you use hair spray, what brand do you use the most? I don’t. Is Catcher in the Rye in your library by any chance? It’s probably in another college’s library, most likely our college for the arts and letters. There’s no reason for it to be in a mass communication library.

What if there was no such thing as the word 'one'? Then that would imply that we have/have to have plurals of everything, which just sounds a bit bizarre to me.

What do you have automatic sympathy for? The 11,000 employees of the country’s biggest broadcasting network that was recently officially shut down by our – surprise surprise – government. These are people who weren’t even involved in the network’s franchise renewal status (which was/is the main issue), people who have families, people who relied on these jobs to get by during a worldwide pandemic, people who loved their jobs, people who found family in these jobs, It’s absolutely crazy how people can defend their stance against the network and justify the loss of 11,000 jobs. What is a cool disposable object? I don’t know who looks at disposable objects and thinks they’re ‘cool,’ but the first thing I thought of was my vape pen of choice, which are disposable. It has enough puffs to last several months with me so it’s more convenient for me to keep buying them than spending a large amount on a refillable one. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan? Why? Hilary Duff as Lizzie McGuire is more nostalgic to me; I used to watch it nearly everyday. I never watched Lindsay’s movies other than Herbie. What do you think of the actor Michael Cera? No opinion but I remember the time when he was often used on 9Gag memes. Simpler times lol. Anyway, I haven’t seen any of his movies. What is the best thing about a Barbie doll? I think it’s really fun how they’ve come up with a bazillion outfits for Barbies and Kens. And different versions too – as far as I know there’s been a Filipino Barbie for a while :) What is something you'd say in your will? If I passed any time soon I’d like to include some things about my dogs and how they’re supposed to be taken care of. If we’re talking about what I’m putting in my will if I ever reach like 80, I just wanna make sure every person who’s been in my life and stayed for a bit is mentioned and thanked and I wanna make the list as expansive as I possibly can at that age. Idk, I’ve always been sentimental. Any thoughts on fake abortion clinics? What??? I don’t know what those are and what they do, but they sound awful. What was a username you'd thought wouldn't be taken but was taken? I’ve tried using my full name as a username in a few websites and seen them being taken. My first and last names don’t make a common pair, so I’ve always found it surprising. Cherry or peanut ice cream? Peanut. Not gonna lie, it’s an unusual flavor – but Asians kinda put peanuts on everything heh. What is your dream cellphone? Why? Whatever new phone Apple puts out because unfortunately I buy into toxic consumerist shit like that lol Would you rather be watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Neither. From one to ten, how big of a movie buff are you? I’d give myself an 8. I’ve seen my fair share of movies and I can honestly say that my favorite films are not cliche picks, but I’ve also yet to see a bunch of classics that other ~movie buffs~ hail as being excellent movies like Taxi Driver, Silence of the Lambs, Rocky, American Psycho, etc. I also haven’t been watching movies as much as I used to, which takes down another point for me. Who is a celebrity you think will never get into trouble? The Irwin kids. I wouldn’t call them celebrities per se though; they’re in the spotlight for the most wholesome reasons. I’ve seen every segment Robert Irwin has had on Jimmy Fallon and it’s amazingly precious. What is an important holiday to you? Why? Probably the EDSA Anniversary because without it we’d still be under a dictatorship. Name a catty girl you really dislike. I wouldn’t call anyone I know that. What is a museum you would like to go to? The top 3 museums that I would love to visit are the Anne Frank House, the Met, and the Art Institute of Chicago. And wherever Monet’s paintings are, because he’s my favorite artist. Personally, do you look better with short hair or long hair? Short. Long, frizzy hair does not look good on me and on anyone else. What was the reason why you last blocked a person from your IM? He was a stranger who hit on me. I added him back only because we had a considerable amount of mutual friends and I thought that maybe he used to be a classmate or something, but he messaged me some shit that he had probably copy-pasted to 700 other girls saying like ‘hey do you mind if you and I talk? I find you really pretty’ like six seconds after adding him back. It was so fucking creepy and I never blocked someone so quickly. I was already in a foul mood that night so I also showed the brief interaction to Gab and I gave her freedom to curse the shit out of the guy if she wanted to. What is a cliche thing that happens a lot in anime? I don’t like anime and have never watched it. What are your views on the cartoon show Invader Zim? I’ve never seen that either. If you have some, what is tonight's homework about? I don’t have homework anymore. If you have one, what is your favorite sushi flavour? Cream cheese salmon rolls from a local place called Torch. What is the first thing you think of when I say 'Jack'? Rose. Do you understand JavaScript coding? A teeny bit, thanks to the theme customizations I used to do on Tumblr when I was 14. What would you do if you found a gun in your best friend's bedroom? Confront them, and maybe even scold them. I definitely would be angry. Not even just because it could mean they’re suicidal, but because I don’t believe in guns. What do you call your grandparents? I call both sets Lolo and Lola. When I say 'Go', you say: I just remember the song Green Light by Beyoncé because the chorus on that is her screaming ‘Go.’ What colour do you usually paint your nails? I never paint them. They’re pretty, but I never saw them as a necessity. What would be a cool earring design? People come up with cool designs all the time now though. I’m completely sure there are a million versions of this now but I would love sriracha sauce earrings haha. What do you think of raccoons? No opinion as I’ve never encountered them. Any thoughts on the actor Paul Rudd? NEVER AGES Who is the better liar: your mother or your best friend? Mom. Gab will lie to me sometimes but I can always tell. Are breast implants something you'd consider? Why or why not? I considered it when I was a teenager because people used to pick on me for being flat-chested, as if I had a choice as to what size my body would end up being. Also, flat chests were the butt of so many jokes in the early 2010s so it made me insecure for a very long time. Nowadays the environment is a lot nicer and I’m seeing many flat-chest positivity posts (if that’s even a thing) so I’ve changed my mind about implants. Besides nightmares, what is the scariest thing about sleeping? Sleep paralysis. You can wake up from nightmares. Do you find the phrase 'nom nom nom' annoying? Not as much as ‘rawr’ annoys me. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? I look good in neither but I would go with red. When was the last time you had chocolate milk? Oooooh it’s been a while :( I feel like that’s something people have to start selling more, honestly. I don’t see chocolate milk being sold other than at the grocery or convenience stores and ugh, I just want more restaurants to add it on their menus lol. That being said, the last time I had it was in January, during a journalism workshop that we hosted in a school in Marikina. The teachers offered us that and a Fudgee Bar as thank-you snacks :)

#survey #surveys

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adamwatchesmovies · 5 years

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The Worst of 2019 (So Far)

And now we get to the opposite of yesterday’s post: the worst of what we’ve seen so far. Time to give them a proper thrashing before they (hopefully) fade into obscurity. Disappointingly, there's a general lack of films that were bad but in an interesting way. Mostly, it’s either been the same sorta dreck we usually get with a couple of unusually offensive stories and a couple of soul-crushingly bad superhero flicks. Curious? Read on.

10. Serenity

I like to save my #10 spot on the “Worst of” list for a movie that has a chance of becoming a favorite among those who love bad movies. Serenity is competently enough made that it does not belong in the same category as The Identical or Runaway. It’s another kind of bad movie, the kind that baffles anyone who sees it and who will have film historians scratching their heads in the future. It’s not quite on the same level as 2017’s “The Book of Henry” but close. Top-notch actors at the top of their career in a story so poorly conceived it would’ve been brilliant if it weren’t awful and utterly absurd.

The revelation that everything we've been seeing is actually part of a video game programmed by an angry teen who hates his abusive father, and that his actions are tied to those of Matthew McConaughey's character is the kind of nutty decision someone at some point should've questioned. My advice? Surprise some unsuspecting friends with it. Periodically pause the movie so they can write down how they think it'll all fit together and then watch their faces as they're proved wrong.

9. After

I’m not going to remember After down the line so this is my opportunity to give it another flogging. I can’t believe fan-fictions of real people is a real thing and that one of them was deemed legitimate and popular enough to be turned into a movie. It plays out like the clone of a clone of a clone of Twilight. At least that movie had danger in the form of vampires and werewolves. This has nothing to offer except embarrassing drama and a prepubescent’s idea of what romance and love look like. I saw it in the theater with a friend and thank goodness she was there; it made what would've been a chore... slightly more bearable.

8. Dumbo

I’ve already gone on about how I feel about Disney’s string of live-action remakes. For the most part, they fail to validate their own existences; they’re just copies of the original but with “real” actors dancing around animated backgrounds, objects and locations instead of everything being traditionally animated. Dumbo isn’t like Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. It does try new things. It diverges from the source material significantly in the worst way. The titular character winds up playing second banana to a bunch of circus performers no one cares about and in the end didn’t contain an inkling of the emotion the 1941 version did.

7. Dark Phoenix

This one’s a triple-whammy. Not only was it a deeply disappointing way for Fox’s X-Men series to end, it retreaded old material in a way that was worse than X-Men 3: The Last Stand AND it was a box office bomb. By the time the story finally comes alive… it’s just about over. The whole thing feels like a mistake, bringing in aliens and asking us to invest in characters we just haven’t had enough time to fall in love with. Makes me wonder what the future of the characters is going to be like. Yes there are a number of heroes and heroines we haven’t yet seen, but are people going to care, even when the brand gets a new coat of paint from Marvel Studios?

6. Men in Black: International

Was anyone asking for the Men in Black series to return? Maybe if they'd had a dynamite story this could’ve overcome the public’s general disinterest, but this was an extremely generic plot you could figure out easily minutes in and lost touch with what endeared us to the first. Even with the combined forces of Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth failed, it to generate many laughs. Worse, to make sure I got any references or Easter egg it might drop, I re-watched all of the previous Men in Black movies, including the horrific Men in Black 2.

5. Replicas

This movie goes about itself in such a convoluted way. First, Keanu Reeves plays a scientist working for a company that wants to transplant the mind of dead soldiers into androids. Then, his family is killed in a car crash, prompting him to use the mind transfer tech to put their memories into new clone bodies of themselves. Problem is, he only has the means to clone three out of four family members. This means he has to erase all memories of his youngest daughter from the others’ brains. Following me so far? Good because it keeps going from there. Actually, that’s just the start of it. It’s a classic case of TMSGO - too much sh*t goin’ on. Even with all that, it STILLL managed to have gaping plot holes. No surprise it came and went as quietly as possible.

4. Hellboy

This one hurt. I wanted to see a superhero horror film badly. The early interviews I read about them wanting to adapt Mike Mignola’s books more closely than the Del Toro films got me excited. I was a little apprehensive when the trailers showed some goofy stuff but I figured these were included to draw people in. I should've listened to that sinking feeling. The actual film is awful, one giant mistake after another. Without a doubt, this featured the year’s worst special effects and even this I could've forgiven but the would-be humorous tone was badly misjudged and the story bloated with way too many elements that might've worked... if we weren't also trying to tell the character's origin at the same time. Hellboy ends with a teaser promising more and there’s no way we would’ve seen a sequel even if this had made money at the box office. Cool demons though, for what it’s worth.

3. Shaft

Looking back, I’m struggling to think of anything worth seeing in Shaft. I hated the film’s approach at comedy, particularly when it reverted Samuel L. Jackson’s John Shaft into the kind of man who proudly doesn’t understand modern sensibilities and spews out one homophobic joke after another. The plot was uninspired and uninteresting - not to mention generic - and none of it felt like it belonged on the big screen. On the upside, it prompted me to view the original trilogy with Richard Roundtree and those were enjoyable.

2. Simmba

Simmba is unlikely to be on the “Worst of 2019” list next January. It probably won’t be at the #2 spot. The film mixes two wildly different tones but not well. It begins as a romantic crime comedy, a dated one, sure. Simmba staging a phoney crime in order for the woman he’s attracted to to call him for help and then use the call as an excuse to stay with her through the night is creepy but I guess it might’ve passed like 20 years ago in North America. What makes this a bad film is the way it then introduces a character’s gang rape and murder as a way to prompt the anti-hero onto a righteous path. From there, it turns into this vigilante revenge film that has disturbing implications. You probably haven’t heard of it before now, much less seen it. I don’t recommend you check it out.

Runner Ups:

Aladdin

A controversial choice, as many casual filmgoers seem to have fallen madly in love with it (similar to the way they ate up 2017’s Beauty and the Beast) but honestly, what does this film do better than 1992’s Aladdin? Add an unmemorable song for Princess Jasmine to sing? Reduce the number of talking animals in order to give us more… nothing? Pile on the CGI to the point you wonder why it was made with live-actors in the first place? Like the innumerable direct-to-video sequels of classic films who've been all but forgotten, I tell you this Arabbian adventure won't endure.

Tolkien

So much potential squandered on a boring story. It didn’t take an astute viewer to recognize the film was crippled by the studio failing to obtain the rights to Tolkien’s actual work. I get the feeling we'll see another shot at a biography of J.R.R. Tolkien in a couple of years and this will be the Christopher Robin to the much superior Goodbye Christopher Robin.

The Hustle

It’s an unfunny comedy, what more is there to say? Rebel Wilson makes yet another bad career choice playing the same character she always plays. I only realized it was a remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels while writing my review, which is unfortunate. Hopefully I can expunge this film from my memory soon enough and forget anything it might’ve spoiled about the original Bedtime Story or the 1988 remake.

1. Unplanned

The numerous instances of technical incompetence - mostly coming from the performers who are given lackluster material - would be enough to condemn Unplanned to this list. What made me hate the film is the way it blatantly lies and attempts to manipulate the audience into further entrenching themselves in a certain point of view through cheap, manipulative means. I can respect that genuine passion was poured into the project but the way it goes about it is shameful. Do not go see it, even if you're curious.

Yuck. That last one really left a bad taste in my mouth so I'm going to talk about a movie I did enjoy and am enthusiastic to direct you towards Alita: Battle Angel. Rosa Salazar as the titular Alita impressed me and I really dug the action scenes. I'll also right a wrong from last year by reminding you to find and watch Paddington and Paddington 2, both movies I should've put on my "Best of" lists the years they came out. I don't know what I was thinking but I keep coming back to these in my head. They're excellent for kids and adults.

And with that said, the list is over. Back to our regularly-scheduled film reviews until something big comes up. Thoughts or comments on the list are welcome and I hope you enjoyed reading.

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