#nothing more than routine. and she didnt Listen to what i said. then i was charged way too much despite being told it would be free | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slutforleeminho · 4 months

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heyy, i love your work, i was wondering if you could write a fic based on the song ‘the other woman’ by lana del rey where the reader is the other woman. you could do it about any member :)

this is my first ever request since i’ve been on this app so i hope i did it right 😭

The other Woman • Hwang Hyunjin

thank you so much! i’m so happy that your first ask was on my acc! i hope you like it<3

warnings: suggestive(no explicit smut), arguing, infidelity, toxic relationship, plot twist at the end;)

"I have to go, beautiful." Hyunjin leaned down to kiss your forehead after pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He placed his hand on the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. "She'll get suspicious if I stay any longer."

This was normal for you, yours and Hyunjin's little routine. He'd take you out to dinner and treat you like a princess, paying for your meals and anything else you could possibly want. Holding your hand and taking you places you've only dreamed of going, then he'd take you home --your home-- and he'd fuck you like there was no tomorrow. And then he'd leave to do the same things with his wife.

You never understood why he pursued you the way he did when he had someone at home to take care of, but you didn't care enough to bring it up. Why would you? You have everything a young woman could ever want; a young, handsome, rich man who gives you anything you want. But only a few times a week. It's okay though, that just gives you plenty of time to do things that you enjoy like reading and going to museums and admiring the beautiful pieces of art that you wished you could just shove in your bag and take home with you.

"Okay," You said with a tired smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant to tell you, I won't be able to come over tomorrow. Apparently, Violet has a family reunion, and she wants me to accompany her." He stated as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner of your room.

Violet. Such a pretty name for such a lucky woman.

"Oh." Was all you replied with.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not, these things happen," You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into as soon as you entered this relationship, if it can even be called that. "Just text me when you can. let me know when you want to meet up."

"Of course." He smiled.

He kissed you deeply before he left that night, almost making you forget that he had someone at home waiting for him, and you would be left here, cold and alone.

That text that he promised didnt come until a week later.

"I miss the way you feel wrapped around me." Was all that the message contained. You liked to imagine he was talking about your warm embrace, but you knew that wasn't true. He just wanted to feel an unfamiliar body underneath his.

You weren't sure how you ended up like this. When you first met Hyunjin he was sweet and caring, attentively listened to you while you complained about your bad day at work and massaged away all the soreness in your muscles. You can't remember the last time he's taken you out to dinner or bought you flowers. Now you were just his escape from his nagging wife.

You put up with the constant shame and guilt you felt for being with someone who already had their someone, because you thought that maybe his love for you would grow and that maybe someday Hyunjin would realize that you're the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and not someone else. But as your love for him grew your patience shrunk until one day you snapped.

Hyunjin was collecting his things after he had finished what he came here for, which was to get his dick wet and nothing more. "I won't see you again after tonight."

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and stared at you with wide eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I deserve more than this. I deserve to have someone's full attention and all of their heart." You held yourself together, determined not to cry Infront of him. He doesn't deserve your tears.

"Baby, what are you even talking about?" He knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your shaking knees. "Of course, I love you."

"No, you don't," You shook your head. "You love my body, you love having someone at your disposal, someone you can use only for your own pleasure. If you loved me even in the slightest there wouldn't be another woman getting the treatment that I crave so fucking much." All the emotion you've kept stuffed away finally revealed itself in the form of a single tear running down your cheek.

It was silent for a long time before Hyunjin spoke. "I'll leave her." You snapped your head up so fast that it hurt. "If that's what you want than I'll do it." The way he worded it as if it was your choice whether his marriage ended or not made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn't deny that you felt a flutter of hope in your chest that maybe this didn't have to end after all. But you're smarter than that. He says this now, but he doesn't mean it, and even if he did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that a woman who did nothing wrong was out there most likely crying herself to sleep while your warm and safe in the love of her life's arms.

"No, be with her. I'll be okay." That was a complete lie but even after everything he's done, you still don't want him to worry about you.

"Please don't do this to me. I love you and I want to be with you. He held on to your legs tighter.

"Funny, isn't that what you told her when you vowed in front of God and everyone that your love for her would be eternal." His mouth snapped shut and his hands left your legs before he stood. He leaned down and before you could register what was happening his lips were on yours. You immediately reciprocated, leaning forward and pressing yourself closer into him. He was so intoxicating, the way his tongue glided with yours so smoothly had you in a trance; you snapped out of it when he placed his right knee on the bed beside you and started pushing you backwards. "No!" you shoved him away. He stumbled backwards but regained his balance quickly. "I'm not doing this with you, Hyunjin. I can't do this anymore, its wrong."

"Since when do you have morals?" His voice was louder this time, he was pissed.

"I've always had them, but I put them aside because I love you!" It was your turn to stand up and look him square in the face. "But the longer we do this the more I realize that this isn't love, its obsession and its toxic. You never loved me Hyunjin you were curious about infidelity, and I was an easy target because my standards were so fucking low that I actually settled for you."

"Fuck this, I don't have to sit here and listen to you degrade me like this." He grabbed his bag and left, but not without slamming the door behind him.

The past month has been hell. After laying in your bed for an entire week you decided to pack up all of Hyunjins things and throw them out, the smell of him that was radiating off of them was making you sick to your stomach every time you walked in the room. And then you went to the mall to treat yourself to a new outfit, you wanted something that didn't have any memories of him attached to it. A trip to your favorite coffee shop followed after that. you hadn't been her in a while and you missed the smell of fresh espresso as you walked in the door.

After getting yourself your favorite -a butter pecan macchiato and a small triple chocolate brownie (they were out of doughnuts)- You sat in the best spot in the entire shop, in a little booth in the corner right next to the window, where you could watch the leaves that had no color left in them fall to the ground only to get trampled over by the passing pedestrians. The leaves reminded you a lot of yourself in a way, but you hoped you never had to fall again.

"Hi," a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned to find yourself looking up at a very handsome young man. His hair was blonde, and it came down to his shoulders. he had an apron on, and a big smile plastered across his face, little freckles decorated his cheeks. "I saw you bought one of the brownies, it's a new recipe I tried, and I wanted to ask if you enjoyed it."

"Oh," You blinked up at him. "Um yeah it's really good, maybe my new favorite."

"Oh, thank god," He let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that it wouldn't be any good. See a couple of the ingredients I use were sold out, so I had to substitute-" He stooped in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot."

"No, it's okay," You huffed out a laugh. He was so cute. "Now I'm curious about what ingredients were sold out." You joked.

He smiled widely at you and stretched his hand out. "I'm Felix."

You hesitated but took his hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Felix."

PART TWO HERE

THANK YOUUU ALL FOR A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL 😭

taglist: @katsukis1wife @sungprotector @seung-mine @favieee @soephiphanymain @z4hir @minnieslover @kjr-army @caitlyn98s @bangchansbae @fawnpeaks @yumiblogs

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xnchxntmxnt · 2 years

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5 Moments Kagami Taiga Realized How Much He Liked You, and the One He Finally Did Something About It

Fandom: Kuroko’s Basketball

Character: Kagami Taiga

Warnings: cursing, several food mentions, it’s assumed that reader isn’t a basketball player but knows a little, minor injury mentioned, plz dont listen to the fic ur not actually supposed to use hydrogen peroxide on cuts but i didnt know that till i googled it after i read this just use cool water to clean it,

Notes: wrote the ending when i was sick so its shitty however this is officially the longest fic I've written and posted on here. beat the last one by like 20 words or something. congrats to me

gn!reader!

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#1 - Los Angeles

Kagami smiled at his phone. It was only a few more days until he’d be back home in Japan after spending some time with his family and Alex. It was nice to see his young cousins (who, he found out, idolized him) and parents, plus playing a little street ball like he used to was always fun.

But he missed Japan.

He missed his friends. His team.

He missed you, too.

And that’s why it was four in the morning and he was still up talking to you. Because as much as Alex teased him about it, he really did miss you.

“Ah, young love,” Alex teased, laughing at the basketball that flew next to her head from him. “You’re impossible, y’know, Taiga. If you don’t fess up soon, you might lose your chance.”

“There’s nothing to fess up!” he argued, like he had been for the last several hours on and off. She was impossible.

She rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair. “You’re not stupid, although you act it. I know you can figure out just how wrong that sentence is.”

And she was right. He was wrong, at first. Because you don’t non-stop think about kissing someone you’re just friends with, or get sickening butterflies, or anything else he’d been dealing with.

He yawned while you were in the middle of talking about something—he’d been ready to sleep for houts, but he needed to stay up to spend time with you. Even if it was over the phone.

“And then Koganei said—” you paused. “Kagami, what time is it there?”

He checked the clock. “Uh…4:17, why?”

“Please tell me its 4:17 in the afternoon.”

“No…?”

“Go to bed!” you half-yelled at him. “You have to be up and awake in the morning, please get some sleep.”

“I like talking to you, though.”

Maybe it was how tired he was, but that was too cheesy.

You paused again, then he heard you laugh at his comment. “I like talking to you too, Kagami, but you have to sleep. Please.”

He yawned again and nodded. “Yeah, yeah…I guess. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Night, Kagami.”

“Night.”

He hung up and sighed—you had no idea what you did to him, did you? He could fall asleep listening to your voice because it was so soothing, but at the same time he never wanted to miss a word of what you said. You made him smile easier than anything, and he was starting to think you were up there with basketball on his list of things he cared about.

Now the question was what to do about these feelings…

#2 - Homework

After returning home, he realized he had a lot of work to catch up on—a week off of school and practice was fun (even though he wasn’t exactly not practicing), but it meant a lot of homework for him to work on. Luckily, you offered to help him through it and study.

The two of you took a break to cook and eat dinner, during which you lounged on the couch and watched a basketball game. It was the same routine he had every night, but for some reason it was better with you. When he first sat down to eat, he threatened to sit on your ankles if you didn’t make room for him, too. He got kicked in the arm when he did, actually, sit on your legs when you didn’t move, but he got his spot on the couch back so he didn’t mind.

“Oh, that was shit,” he cursed at the TV, sitting forward to yell at it. “That wasn’t even his fault! He was—”

He paused when he heard laughter next to him. Why were you laughing at him? He was right! The ref was being stupid! What else was new, though—

“They can’t hear you,” you teased through your laughter.

Once your words sunk in, he rolled his eyes and shoved your leg. “Shuddup, I know that!”

“Then why are you yelling at them?”

“Because I can!”

You laughed more, as did he. It was always the little things that made you laugh, he noticed. Even if you were laughing at him being stupid, you were still laughing, he figured. His smile softened a little when he looked at you, but he quickly averted his eyes when you looked back at him.

“Oh no, Kagami, you’re thinking about something. Tell me.”

“I’m not thinkin’ about anything!”

“What else is new,” you teased. “What was that look for, then?”

“What look?”

You scoffed at him. “You looked like you wanted to kiss me for a minute there.”

Maybe because he did. But he wouldn’t tell you that.

“Wh—no, gross,” he said, coming up with any negative words he could to deny that. He definitely didn’t want to do that. Definitely. “Like I’d ever do that.”

You kicked him again, making him complain again. “What, don’t think I’m cute enough? Or would you rather be kissing Kuroko?”

He laughed again. “You’re…I dont even know where you come up with this shit,” he siad, standing up from the couch. “Don’t jump in my spot, jerk. Want more?”

“I’m good, thank you. You cook well, though. Dinner’s great.”

“Thanks.”

He could freak out about that comment to Alex later. Yeah, he knew he could cook, but you complimenting him on it was different than someone else. Especially if it was his team barging in and suddenly he was cooking for eleven hungry teenagers.

He could get used to dinners with you, though.

#3 - Sunny Days, Popsicles, and Basketball

There was nothing better than playing basketball on the weekend with friends, Kagami had decided way back in middle school. And it was even better with his current team.

He and the Seirin boys were bored and decided to get together for some streetball. Fukuda was busy, leaving uneven teams, so he decided to call you. Ever since Kuroko dropped that he had a crush last week at practice, they hadn’t stopped bothering him about it and wouldn’t get off his case about it until he called to see if you were busy.

He’d taught you a thing or two about basketball not long ago, and while you were no pro, he was proud of how well you played for a rookie. Then again, he always went easy when you two played a game.

The scrimmage went over as well as expected—with him and Kuroko on the same team, they easily won, but no one was keeping track of points after the first twenty minutes. They were too busy having fun and running around for the hell of it.

They decided to call it for the afternoon—they’d been playing for at least an hour and it was sunny and hot. It was the perfect day for popsicles, which everyone volunteered you and Kagami to go buy. Based on Furihata and Tsuchida’s cheeky smiles, he knew they planned that. Kuroko looked clueless as usual.

It was a good thing the convenience store was less than a fifteen-minute walk there and back. He might not have lasted much longer in the silence if not.

To be fair, it wasn’t awkward silence. He was just tense. He was always tense around you, lately—trying to be the most impressive he could, trying to figure out if you liked him back…it was an internal struggle daily. But he wanted to spend all the time he could with you despite the butterflies.

“What’s up with you lately?” you asked, turning the corner so you were in sights of the court. “You’re…weird. I dunno. But you’ve been different, lately.”

“What? No, I’m not different.”

“Yes you are.” You sighed, looking over at him. “Did I do something? You can tell me if you’re upset with me, Kagami.”

No! No, no, no, no, no, no! That’s not at all what he wanted! Just the opposite! He wanted you to know how much he liked you! He was too much of a wimp to say anything about it, though…

“Nothing’s wrong,” he confirmed, trying his best to smile and be convincing. Nothing was wrong, nothing was different. Just two really good friends hanging out, and not him almost getting hit in the head with the ball because he was too busy watching you during the game. “You didn’t do anything. Don’t, ah…don’t worry about it.”

There was no more time to argue that since Furihata saw the two of you, cheered, and got the other three boy’s attention.

Crisis averted, he guessed, but how long would it be before you started thinking something was really wrong?

#4 - Patch-Up

He wasn’t exactly a saint when it came to cursing, but he usually tried to hold his tongue more than he was right now.

He let out a string of curse words, yet again, as you poured a bit of hydrogen peroxide over the scrape on his knee. Kagami sucked air through his teeth, trying to pretend it didn’t hut as bad as it did. “Aren’t you done with that, yet?” he complained.

“If you’d quit moving your leg every time I tried to put the peroxide on it, I wouldn’t keep missing.”

“You aren’t!”

“Yeah, but I haven’t gotten the whole thing yet, so hold still!”

You smacked the side of his calf and continued on. Serves him right for trying to pull off some skateboarding trick he saw his cousin do in America. It didn’t look that hard, he thought. Apparently they weren’t exaggerating on taking them three months to learn it.

Finally, you put the bandaid on his knee and helped him off the couch. He poked at the scrape and winced, receiving a slap on the arm for it.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“If it hurts don’t do it, stupid.”

He rolled his eyes, sitting back down. “Thank you, though. For doing that.”

“Who would have thought Taiga Kagami had such a low pain tolerance?” you teased, sitting down with him. That time, he shoved you.

“Its not low pain tolerance, that shit just hurts!”

“Mhmm. Whatever you say.”

He shoved your arm, which you shoved back, so he shoved back harder. This pattern went back and forth until all of a sudden you were beating him with a throw pillow. He was trying to find any sort of ammo to use against you, when he realized, he had all he needed there. The next time you hit him with the pillow, he snatched it from your hands, threw it to the side, and began to tickle you.

It was a minute or so of laugher and breathless complaining from you, when you suddenly kicked out at him and made his arm that he was putting most of his weight on give under him.

This knocked him down till his face was inches above yours.

Shit.

He stared wordlessly for what felt like an eternity, trying to figure out what to do. Should he kiss you? Would that make it weird? Would it be awkward? What were you thinking? Was he too close?

You opened your mouth like you were going to say something, but nothing came out. Instead he sat up, blushing like a mad man, and helped you up as well.

“Sorry about that—”

“Oh you dont have to apologize—”

“Still, I—”

It was eerily quiet and awkward after that. The tension in the room was thickenough to cut with a knife and he hated it. He never had that kind of tension with you. Things were always easy when he was with you. But not right now…

After a few minutes of this, you made some excuse about needing to get homework done so you had to get home, but he knew it was an excuse. You told him Friday you’d gotten all your homework done so your whole weekend was free to hang out.

Damn, he’d really screwed up, hadn’t he?

#5 - Lunchtime

“Yo, what’s dumbass moping about?” Kagami asked, sitting down at the lunch table across from Kuroko. Next to him was you, who was face down and groaning about who knows what.

“Don’t call me dumbass, asshole…” you complained, sitting up straighter. “And, for your information, Kagami, I’m hungry. And forgot my lunch. And money.”

He scoffed, opening his lunchbox and shoving a box toward you. “How’d I know you were gonna forget?”

He watched you open the box slowly and rolled his eyes. “Nothing in there is gonna kill you, y’know? You’ve had my cooking before.”

“I wasn’t sure if it was a prank.”

“With food? Never, that's a waste.”

You scoffed, digging into the lunch he made for you. He wasn’t sure how he knew that morning, but something in the back of his head told him to bring extra food. Maybe he thought he’d be extra hungry after practice or something, but he was glad he did.

The three of you chatted for a while, mostly him talking about basketball and Kuroko chiming in every once in a while. Most of it, he was pretty sure he’d mentioned before, but anytime he was talking you made sure he knew you were paying attention.

Shortly after the lunch bell rang, the three of you parted ways for your next classes. He was planning on dropping his crap in his locker, grabbing his crap for math, and leaving, but those plans flipped on him when he felt someone grab his shoulders and use him to jump in the air.

“What the hell?!” he asked, flipping around to see who it was. He couldn’t stay pissed off for too long, though, because it was you. He half-expected Koganei or one of the other boys from the team. He rolled his eyes, grumbling about how you shouldn’t scare him like that.

“Oh, shuddup, Kagami.” You elbowed him in the arm, matching his pace as he kept walking. “I came to give you your box back. Realized I had it when I left.’

“Surprised you found me.”

“Dude, you’re a giant and you’re the only kid here who’s got BRIGHT red hair. Wasn’t hard.”

“True.” He laughed, taking the box back. “Thanks. For this, I mean.”

“I should be thanking you, Kagami, that stuff was amazing. Every time I have your cooking I can’t believe you cook that well.”

“Hey!”

He shoved your shoulder, and you shoved him back in retaliation. “It wasn’t an insult, stupid, it was a compliment!”

“Sounded like an insult.”

“Maybe you just sound like an idiot.”

He made a face that made you laugh. There you go, making him think about all those dumb feelings again. He loved seeing you happy, though, even if it was at the expense of a little of his dignity.

You smiled at him, pausing in the (now mostly empty) hallway. “I gotta get going, but I’ll see you later, right?”

“You bet.”

You waved and ran off—he simply stood there, thinking about how incredibly adorable you were when you were excited about something. He hoped his face wasn’t too red.

This was getting ridiculous—or at least Alex thought so. And the rest of the team who knew how embarrassed he got when they brought you up. He was down bad, and he knew it. For days, everyone had been telling him to say something about it, but what if it didn’t go how he wanted it to? Would that screw up your friendship? He didn’t want anything to change, but if it changed for the better, that wouldn’t be a bad thing…

The bell rang, and he cursed under his breath. Now he was late and a mess. This was going to be a fun rest of the day.

#1 - The Winter Cup

He still couldn’t believe it.

After all that work over the summer, and all the work during the game, they’d won.

It was no easy feat, going up against Touou. And they had more (no doubt, harder) games coming. But for now, the entire team was buzzing with the excitement of victory and looked like they were ready to pass out from exhaustion.

They were on their way out of the arena and heading home when Kagami heard his name called from behind him.

He looked up and turned to see who it was, and there you were, running towards him and his teammates. He looked to Riko for permission to leave them and go talk to you, which she didn’t even give before she and Hyuuga were shoving him along.

Kagami broke into a run towards you at the same time, only slowing down when he got closer to you. You didn’t, however, and ran straight into him, jumping and pulling him into a tight hug.

“You did it!” you cheered in his ear, somehow squeezing him tighter. “You really did it, Kagami!”

He held you that tight, too, only letting loose a little on your waist when you pulled your head back to look at him. “What, did you doubt we wouldn’t?” he teased.

You laughed. “I always believed in you. You’re just…incredible, Kagami.”

I always believed in you.

You’re incredible.

Those words hung heavy in his mind, unable to speak once they sunk in. He was certain there were some things he could do most people couldn’t, but it meant so much more coming from you.

He stared in disbelief for a moment, only breaking out of his thoughts when you ruffled his hair. “Earth to Kagami,” you teased.

The words left his mouth before he could stop them. “I really like you, (Y/N).”

You stared. He’d screwed up. No, no, this was bad. He was caught up in the excitement, and now he was screwed. He wanted to eat his words, but there was no taking back what he said.

Kagami opened his mouth to apologize, starting to pull away. You hugged him again, making it unable to let you go.

“You idiot,” you said into his shoulder. “About time.”

He (gently) shoved you off, holding you at arms length away. “What do you mean, about time? You mean this isn’t going to be super awkward now?”

“I like you too, stupid! Took you long enough to say something!”

“Why didn’t you then??”

“Because I wasn’t certain if you liked me, too!”

“But I do!”

“Now I know that!”

“Captain told me to tell you to kiss or something so we can get going.”

The both of you jumped, not realizing Kuroko was standing right next to you. After the initial shock, you both started laughing, and he walked back towards the group (most of which who were watching the two of you). Kiyoshi flashed you a smile and a thumbs up, and Hyuuga smacked him for it.

“If you kiss me, you can tell your captain over there to man up and get himself a girlfriend. Ask your coach out, finally.”

He made a face in confusion. “What are you talking about…?”

“Oblivious. You’re actually oblivious.”

Any remark he could muster out fell silent against your lips. He smiled, trying to ignore how loudly Koganei yelled “get it, Kagami!” from far enough away anyone else outside would have heard him. It was hard to ignore, however, and soon the both of you parted, too busy laughing.

“I’m gonna kill him one of these days.”

“Make sure it’s after the finals.”

“Finals, huh?”

“Like I said. I believe in your guys—in you, Kagami. You’re gonna make it.”

Even if he wasn’t already, he was pretty inclined to believe that now.

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ieatyourbeauty · 1 year

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**Enemies With Benefits: Soap x OC part 3**

part 1

part 2

recap: They did the do they both liked the do and Spider has some feelings that needs release what happens when they almost get caught?

Exhibition/ PiV they share a coconut creampie

also minors dont interact this is for big boys and girls.

Soap is blue

Spider is Purple

and if u see yellow hi hello thats me

Spider had gotten up earlier she looked at soap still deep asleep holding her hand she blushed. She sat up leaving the bed and his warmth she looked at her ripped dress and lingere on the floor no way those are still wearable when he tore them to shreds. she whispered.

Spider: god dammit soap I liked this set.

So she took one of his shirts it smelled like him and put it on before she left she looked at Soap, Sure she hated the guy but there was a softness to him when he was asleep she smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she left his room. Soaps eyes flutter open before closing them again resuming his sleep.

Soap would wake up with the sunlight that came through the curtain. he would go back to his usual routine of washing his face thinking about the nice wet dream he had about Spider, But while he was getting ready he realized that there was indeed clothes on the floor.

Soap: So much for dreams

He would mutter to himself before picking up the dress and lingerie and putting them on a chair in his room , before he'd go back to his washing room then he remembered feeling the kiss on his cheek it left with a warm feeling though he didnt want to admit to himself that he....maybe might've started to like her a little bit?

Soap: ....fuck....

He'd say then let out a frustrated and loud sigh before he leave for the mess hall.

Spider was daydreaming about last night not really eating her food when a familiar voice snapped her out of it but it wasn't Soap.

Frank: ....Josey....

Spider: oh....hey Frank....

She would say in a deadpan tone what the hell did he want? she wondered. It wasn't like they went out hell she was trying to use him for a free meal or quick fuck before the thing that happened with Soap well...happened. Frank safe to say was pissed with her for last night he planned this fancy date and she goes and betrays him for a quick fuck from her superior officer.

Frank: I wanna talk about last night.

Josey: what's there to talk about last time I heard you said to him "You can have her" your words. Trust me there's nothing to talk about

Frank: look you fucking barrack bunny. Is it my fault that I spent all this money on you and you throw it all away for what?

Soap would overhear this while he was getting breakfast...he'd roll his eyes and get back to his food though he is nosey so he did listen who could blame him one word caught his attention.

Soap: barrack bunny?

Frank: Fucking another soldier, look at me when I'm talking to you fucking whore!

Spider was furious at the names she was being called she stands up from her sitting position and hits his face hard with her food tray frank falls from the hit and she goes and kicks him in the stomach.

Spider: That's for calling me a barrack bunny asshole!

She kicks him again

Spider: and that's for calling me a whore!

she spits on him

Spider: fucking loser.

She walks out of the mess hall in anger. Soap hears some of the other soldiers gossip behind him about the scene pissing him off.

Soap: Oh, shut it.

Soap's scowl got worse as he heard everyone start whispering about Spider, He hated gossip. More than that, he hated being forced to listen to it!.

Soap: I thought we were soldiers, not little schoolgirls.. Who she spends her time with is hardly anyone's concern.

Soap's voice remained somewhat quiet, but stern enough he could make his point. at this point some of the soldiers apologized or didn't say anything at all. Soap would come to the sparring room seeing Spider using a punching bag sweat already on her face he'd grab a kick-bag placing next to the punching bag putting on some gloves and began warm up exercises after that he'd get to hitting it.

drenched with sweat she takes off her shirt she has a sports bra which contains her tits and wipes her sweat with her shirt. Soap stops to catch his breath, and turns to look at her..now that he has a clear view the sight was hard to describe. Spider caught his gaze and smirked acting in a smart manner.

Spider: got a staring problem Soap?

Soap: I do how can I look away

He was half joking as he was really enjoying the way her tits bounced when she hit the punching bag. Spider giggles to herself and resumes training, she was still mad about the frank shit and the punching bag wasn't working.

Spider: This isn't working I'm still pissed about that shithead Frank

Soap: go...on

Spider: fighting isnt gonna work.....its...something else. do I have to spell it out

Soap being the cheeky shit that he is decides to play stupid.

Soap: I dont know what you mean...lil spider.

Spider: please dont make me say it.....please

Soap approaches her knowing what she is about to say he chuckles a bit leans in and whispers in her ear.

Soap: Go on... Spit it out...

Spider: please....fuck me soap

Soap getting closer he can hear her breathing heavily he liked that sound.

Soap: Sorry, Can't do that... You gotta say it properly...get on your knees.

Spider:....(fucking bastard)

Spider gets on her knees embarrassed by the next sentence she's about to say, Soap has a sly smirk on his face.

Spider: Please fuck my pussy Soap

Soap: ahh that looks so much better...See that wasn't so hard now, was it?

Soap grabs her arm to lift her up taking her to a private exercise room in the Gym he locks the door and makes her kneel in front of him again.

Soap: this is a good look for you spider...

He takes out his hard cock and gives her one simple order, already Spider feels a warmth down in her pussy just from seeing it.

Soap: suck on it

She licks the tip licking his precum off and playing around the slit of his dick with the tip of her tongue making him shudder he sees that shes teasing looking up at him. He takes the back of her head and pushes his dick deeper in her mouth she's gagging on his cock.

Soap: fuck you look so good gagging on my cock sweet girl

Soap's fucking spiders mouth tears in her eyes from gagging he takes his cock out of her mouth allowing her to breathe for a minute. Spider opens her mouth while Soap taps his dick on her tongue drool going down her neck.

Soap: finally a good use for that mouth of yours, as much as I would love to cum in your pretty mouth I've got other plans stand up.

Spider stands up Soap gives her a kiss its forceful passionate their tongues fighting for dominance though we all know whos gonna win that fight. He puts his hand down spider's pants feeling how wet her cunt is from just blowing him he has a surprised look she blushes her eyes looking away from him.

Soap: all this from just suckin me off? look at my fingers spider.

He'd demand and she looked at him he licked her juices off his fingers.

Soap: you taste so fuckin good lil spider.

Spider: y-your so gross

Soap: yet you don't stop me ..curious

He'd insert two of his fingers inside of her pussy his fingers going fast inside she moans softly in his ear.

Soap: that's it make those pretty sounds for me only me.

Spider: s-soap I'm coming fuuck

Soap: not yet

He took his fingers out of her pussy leaving her feeling empty she whimpers without his touch he pulls her pants down rubbing his cock between her folds she shudders from it.

Soap: lay on your belly ass up

Spider does as Soap commands her to do she wiggles her hips and he grabs her hip making her stay still while he puts his cock inside her earning a groan from both of them.

Spider: fuu-uck

Soap: so fuckin tight...

Soap begins fucking her hard and slow she moans with each thrust into her cunt hes spanking her ass with each thrust.

Soap: your gettin tighter with each spank you fuckin slut.

All the sudden they hear a knock at the door they both stop Soap being the genius that he is calls out, Spider staying silent.

Soap: yeah what do you want I'm lookin for weights

Spider:....(u stupid motherfucker no one is gonna believe that)

Unfortunately its Ghost at the door, panic sets in for the both of em.

Ghost: Soap you've seen Spider anywhere?

Soap: uhhh can't say that I have LT.

Spider moving her hips looking at soap to go slow Soap sweaty from panic or the "exercise" that they're doing thrusts slow, she covers her mouth to stifle the moans and whimpers she making she's getting tighter around Soap's cock making him stutter his speech.

Ghost: Been looking for her everywhere she has some reports to file I know you two don't get along but I'd figure I would try and see if you've seen her.

Soap: y-yeah I think it's a woman issue with her to-today ahh-shit

Ghost: you alright in there?

Spider: hmm(fuck Im gonna cum and I feel he is too.)

Soap: y-Yeah I'm fine this work out is just taking alot out of me i-if I see her I'll tell her you stopped by.

Ghost: alright see ya.

Ghost left the door both Spider and Soap hearing him leave he picks up his pace going faster and harder in Spider's aching pussy.

Spider: h-holy fuck S-soap

Soap: you fuckin minx gettin.... tighter you want people to see you get fucked by me don't you.

Spider: y-yes I w-wanted him to watch

Soap: you're a sick little bitch Josey

While he fucked her he played with her clit earning a loud moan from Spider her eyes rolling in the back of her head her mind going blank, This sent her over the edge she came around soap's cock he couldn't handle it anymore and he growled as he came inside Spider's pussy filling her with his cum they were breathing heavily. He pull out of her his cum dripping it out of her pussy and hitting the exercise mat. He sits down on the floor and Spider sits next to them they both laugh a bit at almost getting caught.

Spider. heh holy shit imagine if he caught us after seeing us fight the other day.

Soap: I think he would have a heart attack.

Soap looked at Spider in a different light than yesterday she was smiling and giggling with him like they've been best friends for years, he thought she looked beautiful, he caressed her cheek and moved hair away from her face making her blush then he kissed her softly.

Soap: got you to laugh.

Spider:...thanks...

After a few moments of awkward silence, Spider stood up and got dressed adjusting her hair and outfit.

Spider: I'd better go and...you know reports and all Ghost is probably wondering where I am. See ya Soap.

Soap smiles a bit at her not wanting to keep her from her duties.

Soap: See ya Josey.

Her heart skipped a beat when he said her real name, she leaves the room. Soap chuckled to himself.

Soap: hate to see ya go but I love to watch ya leave.

(this is neil ellice fault through and through for that last line. I will sue for emotional damage neil you will be hearing from my lawyers)

#soap x reader #soap mw2 #soap smut #soap mctavish #john mactavish x reader #soap x oc #cod mw2 #cod x reader #mw2 smut

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blonde-in-charge · 3 years

Text

Wildcard, Chapter Three

Words: 2.6k

Summary: Steve Rogers found you on the side of the road after a mission involving Hydra and convinced the Avengers to take you in. You have no name, no memories, and no idea of what you are capable of. All you know is that you are a super soldier with more hidden abilities than you care to admit. The first step to finding answers was to train you. Nobody, including you, knows what is up your sleeve.

Characters: Bucky x reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Random Hydra guy, Sam Wilson

Warnings: Mentions of blood/violence, brief unwanted touching, Cursing, Fluffy!Bucky, Flirting

Words: 2.6k

The table underneath you was frozen from the amount of stress you had been under. They just kept injecting things into you, hoping to get some kind of reaction from your body. You had stopped feeling the pain of the needle and experiments weeks ago, which just made everything worse for you in the long run. They were getting annoyed with the fact you had stopped reacting to whatever painful serum they had injected you with that day and it resulted in beating to get a reaction from you. You stared up at the cracked ceiling of your concrete room and counted each crack for the millionth time. You kept yourself company in your mind, getting lost in your thoughts to pass the time until your next beating. You shivered at the cold beneath you, the last serum made ice bleed from every one of your pores. You heard the shrill sound of the old iron door open from the side of the room, you didnt turn your head to see whoever came in anymore, they were all the same type of evil.

“Your wounds have healed very quickly, you are replicating the progress of our last soldier.” said the thick voice. You hated to think someone else had gone through this hell before you had. You wondered if they escaped or died before they moved onto you.

You felt a burn in the back of your throat, “What's on the menu today doc? Electro-therapy? Waterboarding? New superhuman power that causes injury to one of your minions?” The one fond memory in your head of this place, being your body set itself on fire as well as one of the more hostile minions of Hydra. You smirked fondly at the memory as the hydra doctor worked his way around you observing the healing process. Every wound that opened on your body disappeared within a couple of hours, which is apparently what they wanted.

“Nothing on the menu today, we are going to start to prepare you for the memory wipe.” Was all the man said and you felt your heart jump into your throat as the man chuckled, “You will do great things for us, American Girl.” You started pulling at your restraints for the first time in weeks, trying to fight your way off of the table once again. The man gave you a sickening chuckle while watching you struggle and you glared at him. He reached up to run a dirty hand slowly up your leg, “Such a pretty girl, such a shame you must-” He ended his sentence abruptly as you lit your body on fire, burning the man's flesh. You grinned at him as your body started to fizzle out. He held his burnt hand to his body and looked at you with rage, “You stupid slut.”

You continued to grin as he left the room, feeling somewhat accomplished. Your smile slowly faded as you thought back on the memories they would take from you. Y/N Y/L/N, you were a successful accountant in one of the most successful banks in Manhattan. You lived alone, you haven't spoken to your family since you lost your father. Your mom became an alcoholic after his death, the only thing you really regretted was leaving your little sister, Macy, behind. Your job would have already replaced you by now, and people would have stopped looking for you. You stopped fighting for an escape because you knew you had nothing to go back to.

You woke up slowly to the sound of soft snoring, your body tensed up, wondering who was in your bed. Then you realized this wasn't your bed when you looked up into the face of the sleeping soldier. Your body instantly relaxed as you lay your head back on his chest. His right arm was slung over your waist and his metal arm was holding your forearm against his stomach gently. You closed your eyes, replaying the events of the night before in your head. Hydra had come back for you, but for what reason? Then your eyes snapped open and you looked up at Bucky gently shaking him. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at you, obviously confused about why he was holding you. Realization dawned on him and his eyes filled with concern, “You okay?”

“Y/L/N.” Was all you said to him as you continued to stare into his steel eyes.

“Who is that?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“I remembered my last name.” You said softly to him, “I remember my life before I was taken.”

He sat up quickly and looked into your eyes, “You remember now?” You nodded your head at him, unsure whether you should smile or cry. “Y/N, that's amazing.”

You looked away from him and sat back, “Is it?” you replied solemnly.

“Why wouldn't it be?” He tilted his head slightly, trying to read your thoughts. The sound of the door sliding open cut off your response as Steve came in. Steve stopped in the doorway and examined the scene in front of him. You were sitting to the side of Bucky, wearing his shirt with no pants on, with your legs strung across his thighs. Bucky had his metal hand resting against your calf and was leaning back against the headboard behind him. Bucky’s face turned a dark pink as he realized the situation before taking his hand off of your leg. You remained unphased as you looked over at Steve.

Steve watched you both and cleared his throat, “The safe house is all set up, can you both be ready by 0300?” You nodded at Steve, who glanced back at Bucky before leaving the room.

You both sat in silence for a moment before you crawled over bucky to the other side of the bed, his eyes perked up as he watched you unmoving, “Where are you going?”

“I have to pack my bag, don’t I?” You stood up and raised your arms above your head to stretch out your back.

Bucky started to climb out of the bed himself before he stood next to you, “I’ll go with you.” You laughed softly and chose to not object to his company. He followed you down the hallway to your room and you stopped in the doorway to survey the damage. Your bed hung off the side of the bed frame as if the mattress had been thrown. The drawers in your dresser were all thrown open and all of the clothes were spread around the room on the floor. You sighed quietly and started picking up articles of clothing. You searched around for the SHIELD duffle bag you had before shoving clothes into it. Bucky’s eyes raked across the room, he walked towards the bed and adjusted it to its correct position before picking up shirts and folding them neatly into the bed. You smiled slightly to yourself as you found a pair of leggings on the ground and started pulling them on and up over your thighs. You struggled slightly and then looked up to see Bucky staring at you.

He stilled, realizing he had been caught and looked down at the tee shirt in his hands, “Sorry, guess I got distracted.”

You laughed softly and patted him on the arm, “It's okay Buck, it's not like I don't stare at you sometimes.” You were unashamed of the confession. Sometimes while training you'll watch Bucky in the gym and sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll be able to see him lift his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face. You would never apologize for that.

Bucky looked utterly confused as you packed the last of your things and zipped up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder. He stood up with you and looked down at you. You weren't a short person, you were taller than most girls but still shorter than all of the male avengers so you barely had to crane your neck up at him. His steel blue eyes looked so much lighter in the moment. You turned away from him and started walking towards the door, looking back at him. “Ready?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, go meet with Steve, let me grab my bag.” You nodded at Bucky as you walked into the living area, ignoring the shattered glass on the floor you followed the voices to the kitchen.

“So she just hopped up on this man's shoulders and took him down like that?” Sam snapped his fingers together to get the point across, “Did Natatsha teach her that?”

Tony shook his head and bit the fingernail of his thumb, replaying the 30 second hallway footage from the night before, “Natasha hasn't moved past the basics of fighting with her, we have been focusing on figuring out what she can do power wise.” Steve stood silently with the three, his arms crossed watching the looped video.

Sam shook his head at the screen, “This chick is a total wildcard.”

You dropped your bag on the ground behind them making them all turn around quickly. You stared at the projection in front of you, you barely recognized yourself. You have never been able to put Sam on his ass in the ring and now you're swinging your body weight around on some random guy? The temperature dropped a couple of degrees in the room as a result of your anxiety. The three men stared at you as you took a step back, you made eye contact with Steve, “Y/L/N.”

Steve looked confused, “What? Who’s name is that?”

“Mine.” You said quietly, “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I had a dream about it. I know my name.”

You sat at the table along with Steve and Sam. You were staring off at a wall while shoveling cereal into your mouth. You had only been at the tower for about two weeks now and had a good routine with the two men in front of you. You still didn't have a name. You have been going by kid, kiddo, chick, and rescue. You have been searching your brain for a hint of what your name would be. You tried making up names but none of them suited you the way you wanted it to. You listened to the two men bicker over different work out strategies. You stared off at the wall and thought about how you planned on changing your hair color to maybe platinum blonde. You reached out to grab your glass off the table and grunted when it wouldn't budge. You looked up at the two men staring at you with wide eyes before following their gaze to your hand. The liquid in the glass was frozen solid and the glass stuck to the table in a block. You removed your hand and looked at your palm, which was tinted blue, “Well that's new.”

Sam tapped on your frozen glass, “Holy shit, Elsa.” You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands together trying to maintain heat.

Steve watched you, “Has this ever happened before?”

You shook your head and reached out to grab your glass again. Your strength became too much and the frozen glass shattered in your hand. You remained still as Sam hopped up from the table.

“Jesus fucking christ, kid.” Sam started picking up the larger pieces of glass

“Language.” Steve went into the other room to retrieve a handheld vacuum

You looked down at your hand and saw little cuts leaking blood in the palm, today just wasn't your day. You stood up from the table and walked over to the sink, running your hand under the water. You were getting really sick of this superpower thing. You have broken so many things so far due to the super strength you can’t control. You sighed as you watched the small cuts on your hand knit themselves back together, you would never get used to that. On the brightside, it didn't hurt. You have not felt the pain of anything you have broken or ran into, the only pain you ever felt was the headache that never went away. You dried your hand off and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Sorry guys… Still getting used to,” You held up your hands, “this.”

Steve smiled knowingly, “It's okay, kid. I remember when I received my serum, it took a minute to adjust.”

You gave him a small smile, “Why do you guys keep calling me kid?”

Sam and Steve looked at each other. Sam was the one who spoke first, “You don't really have a name right now.”

“Oh it's Y/N.” You shrugged at the guys and returned to your seat at the table as they stared at you.

“Did that just come to you?” Steve asked while looking at your seated figure, “It kind of suits you.”

“I think it's my name? It just came to me at the sink and its the only name that doesnt make me want to kill myself.” You smiled as the two men started chuckling at you.

“I think I will stick to ridiculous nicknames if you don't mind.” Sam said, smiling at you and ruffling your hair.

Tony wasted no time typing your name into the database to pull up a missing persons profile. A photo was pulled up onto the hologram screen and you silently stared at it. It was you, well at least a version of you. You looked so young, your face was effortlessly smooth with a light layer of makeup, and your mouth was pulled in an easy grin. Your hair was pulled back in a sleek low ponytail and you were wearing a white collared shirt with a blazer layered over it. You started into your eyes on the projection, it felt like looking at someone else.

“You were an accountant? That's boring.” Sam started while eye the photo of you

Tony scanned the photo and then started typing something into the projection. An article pulled up next to the photo, “Y/N Y/L/N, missing for two years, stopped coming into work and her apartment was empty… blah blah blah.”

“Tony.” Steve warned, coming to put a hand on your shoulder. You looked back at him before shaking off his hand and picking up your bag.

“We should go, right?” You ignored the look Steve gave you before you walked to Bucky’s room, knocking on the mangled door

Bucky met you at the threshold of the door, sensing your discomfort, “You okay, doll?” He raised an eyebrow at you

You raised your own eyebrow, “Doll?” Heat rushed to Bucky's cheeks and you smirked at him, “Grab your bag Buck, it's time to go.” You winked at him and turned away to walk to the elevator door. You rested your nag on the ground as you waited for Steve and Bucky to join you. You leaned back against the wall and sighed loudly, your headache returning.

The two men walked together side by side to meet up with you. Steve pressed the elevator button and debriefed you both about the agents who would escort you to the safe house. You and Bucky both nodded in understanding before stepping onto the elevator. Steve made eye contact with you before the doors completely shut.

“Be safe, kiddo.” You smiled at his words as the doors shut completely.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #marvel imagine

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jarofstyles · 4 years

Text

Stay

A/N: this is one of the little one shots we wrote for @majorharry’s 20k fic celebration (congrats to cass she’s is amazing!! we love her writing so much 🥺) we used prompt 30 “you’re making this so much harder than it has to be.” Our take on punk!harry catching feelings for a hookup

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send feedback and requests here

masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warning: a bit of angst

word count 4k

“You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.” Y/N watched as Harry scrambled to get his clothes on.

This was a regular routine for the two of them, Harry would text her telling her to be ready when he arrived. She wouldn’t exactly call their relationship a relationship. She felt like calling it a booty call made her feel gross though that’s the closest to what it was. Y/N wouldn’t even call it friends with benefits. Harry wasn’t her friend, he never tried to be. They were from different sides of the spectrum. Harry was rough around the edges, blunt, pretentious. An arrogant son of a bitch if you asked Y/N. She leaned more on the safer side of things, not a good girl, but not exactly bad. Just your average girl. She’s boring and uptight if you asked Harry.

“It’s 2...” Y/N trailed off to look at the clock, “2:46 in the morning, just stay.” She sighed, sitting up and bringing the sheet up with her to cover her front. She wasn’t sure what his deal was, but it started to get under her skin.

“That isn’t my thing, Sweetheart.” Harry chuckled, feeling the panic bubble in his chest at the idea of staying. Of being too close to her. Y/N was equally as terrifying to him and she had to have some clue.

Harry didn’t do relationships. Hell, this was the closest thing he had to being truly intimate for years and he was terrified. He had gotten a bit too comfortable with Y/N and found himself wanting to stick around too long after their fun. It was made abundantly clear to the both of them that they weren’t going to be anything more than a booty call. After the last time, it had been insanely good and he had fallen asleep in her bed. Waking up with her curled up on his chest, the warmth, the comfort? It was so amazingly lovely and so terrifying he could cry. No. He wouldn’t allow himself to get attached again.

Besides. She was... god. She was fucking immaculate. Smart and kind, talented and sweet. There was no damn way she would actually want a relationship with someone like him. Covered head to toe in tattoos and piercings and shit. Smoking and drinking and all that too. No. She deserved a nice guy. Someone with an office job.

Y/N rolled her eyes. She hated that fucking nickname. It felt patronizing, but she knew that wasn’t the angle Harry was coming at this all with. He was avoiding her. She could see it. The way he wouldn’t meet her gaze. Harry was well aware she could read his eyes, he wouldn’t be able to hide from her then.

“Harry, it’s fucking pouring.” He didn’t have a car, she knew he had full intentions of walking back to his apartment on campus. Y/N looked at him with furrowed brows, realizing he wasn’t stopping. She reached over and slipped her Fleetwood Mac shirt back on, getting up to walk over to him. “If you’re that fussed about it, you can take the couch, or I can take the couch, but I’m not letting you walk home in the fucking rain in the middle of the night.” Y/N spoke sternly, but her voice was soft. What was the big deal?

“No. You aren’t taking the couch— get back in bed.” He sighed, closing his eyes. Fuck. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, Y/N didn’t do anything wrong at all. She was being her normal, sweet, tender self and wanted to make sure he was safe and he understands that but... fuck. “Go back to bed. I’ll sit until the rain stops and call an Uber or something.” He was nervous. He knew that if he laid back in bed with her that he would like it and want more of it. Those kisses would be soft and not the rough ones he was used to and he would melt. Normally his hookups didn’t make him nervous— but she absolutely did. Very much so. “Don’t give me that pout please.” He groaned when she looked up at him with puppy eyes and approached him slowly. Oh no. He was a strong man but he knew his inner weakness for her. He felt it. Didn’t want it.

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal.” Y/N frowned, genuinely confused. What I’m earth was he on about? Sitting until the rain stopped or getting an uber? Was she really that unbearable? Y/N wasn’t going to beg for him to stay, but if he really wanted out there must be a reason? She thought maybe since they’ve been having regular sex for a few months that maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal for him to just stay. “I don’t understand you, ya know?” She muttered, looking at him as if she was examining him. What changed so much? He had come into her home all guns blazing a few hours ago, pinning her against the wall, ravishing her after a night of drinking with her friends. She even thought they made progress when they had a little laugh about it afterwards, but then he was up and itching to get out. “I know you’re not the biggest fan of me, but do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”

Wait. What? Harry furrowed his brows and looked at her with disbelief. The way he had just fucked her as if his life depended on it? How did that translate into him not liking her?

“Hold on. No— I don’t dislike you or anything. M’not trying to get away because I don’t like you.” He said lowly, face full of confusion and a bit of irritation. “Jesus Christ. It’s the opposite. That’s why I can’t bloody stay in your place.” He felt a bit stupid admitting that because even to him it didnt make total sense. All he knew was that she wouldn’t like him the way he could end up liking her and he already had the beginnings of something more than a crush. He knew he fell in love quickly— far too quickly. And he didn’t want to set himself up for more disappointment.

Now Y/N was confused.

“And that’s supposed to make sense?” She asked with furrowed brows, her arms crossing over her chest in defense. It was chilly in her apartment, but she wasn’t about to go put on more clothes when they could just get back into bed and go to sleep. If he would just listen. “You stayed here last time and you were fine.” Y/N stayed simply, “just go lay down, can go home whenever you want tomorrow....” She was giving up on fighting with him, but of course his words were still ringing through her mind. If he liked her why was he so desperate to leave? Why did he want to get away from her so bad? It didn’t make any sense at all.

“Yeah, I did and we cuddled! We aren’t supposed to do that.” Harry stressed. When her face was even more confused he let out a dark groan, covering his face with his hands. How did she not understand this? This dilemma, this crisis? They were meant to be fuck buddies. Nothing more. She wouldn’t be interested in more and it was so fucking embarrassing to think of himself catching emotions for her when she would just laugh or not want to be involved at all. His last girlfriend had summed it up by explaining that Harry was fun for a while. Fun to explore and live out that bad boy fantasy with his motorcycle and crazy parties and tattoo artist apprenticeship but he wasn’t boyfriend material. If she thought that —and she wasn’t a total prize once he thought about it— Y/N would for sure laugh if he wanted more than that.

“You understand you’re making zero sense right now right?” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head. “You were balls deep in me and cuddling is what you’re worried about?” She asked with a small sigh, taking a few seconds just watching him. “Look, I’ll stay on the other side of the bed if you want. Just stay. It isn’t a question, you’re not leaving.” Y/N didn’t like being challenged, she liked getting her way and he was making no sense with his talk. She reached out and took his hand, pulling him back towards her bed. She was tired, sleep was visible on her face but she wouldn’t sleep until she was sure he wouldn’t leave.

Truth be told she didn’t want him to leave for other reasons. She liked having him around, even if sometimes he didn’t act so fond of her and pushed her away. Y/N liked having his calm energy around, liked him roasting her, liked how he always found a way to get her to wind down. Not to mention sharing a bed with him during the night was incredibly comfortable. When they started this whole thing, Y/N knew that there was a possibility that she could catch feelings. However, she let those die. He wasn’t interested. She was just some good pussy to him.

He felt squirmy. Sitting in bed with her and not touching her felt wrong. It felt weird and uncomfortable and he just wanted to pet her hair and gently touch her skin and it was such a weird and odd feeling. He wanted to vomit. How the fuck was he even doing this?

She was terrifying.

He didn’t realize he had said that out loud until she turned over and looked at him with a questioning look. Fuck. Oops.

“I... didn’t mean to say that out loud.” He cleared his throat, face flushed as he realized he didn’t know how to get himself out of this.

To say Y/N was thoroughly confused was an understatement. Y/N was getting antsy, she didn’t like all this scrambling around, she wanted to have an adult conversation with him.

“Can you please just tell me what is on your mind? Cause I’m lost.” Y/N sighed, “you text me telling me you’re going to come over, you get here all eager to see me, fuck me for two hours straight, then want to get out of here faster than I can say your full name. Say you’d rather wait the rain out or get an uber than sleeping here. Tell me it’s not because you don’t like me but because you do like me, then say I’m terrifying? Am I reading this wrong or?” Y/N wished he could just be straight up with her, she didn’t have time trying to figure him out.

“For fucks sake!” Harry sat up on the end of the bed so he didn’t have to look at her. It was too embarrassing. Getting flustered over this. “I’ll get too comfortable. I’ll sleep here and we’ll cuddle again and I’ll feel close to you and you’ll end up getting tired of me.” He huffed. “No one keeps their feelings for me for too long and I’m fun to fuck around with but I’m not relationship material.” It was obvious he had heard this before and it had stuck in his mind. Very much so because it was like he was reciting it bitter from memory. “And then you’ll be tired of me and I’ll be used to sleeping in your bed, and I’ll be fucking worthless with sleep again and it’ll fuck me up. I don’t want that shit to happen. I’m not the type of guy you want to cuddle or sleep with anyways. M’only decent for a fuck.” Plus, she hadn’t shown any real interest besides the fact she did want to fuck him.

Y/N sat up, completely taken aback. She didn’t realize it was getting like this. Hell, she was fully convinced he just didn’t want to be around her outside of their sex life. But to think he had been sat here convincing himself of things that just weren’t true? Assuming that she wouldn’t want him when, if given a proper chance, she would? “And how the hell do you know what I want?” She asked out right, “you never asked me... and I never said anything about it. You’ve barely even attempted conversation with me, fuck... and you just—” Y/N knew she had to relax. “If I didn’t want you sleeping here I would have let you leave. If I didn’t care about you I would have let you leave.” Her voice was softer this time. She took a few moments to calm down and then decided to speak again. “You know you could have asked me... what I wanted? Know it’s scary— and... I don’t know who hurt you.... but I don’t want to be lumped in with them. I don’t think like that...”

Harry clenched his jaw. He didn’t know what to think. With Y/N being as sweet as she was, he didn’t think she would be one to lie about it. It did make sense if he thought about the fact that she never kicked him out. He was just the first to leave so she wouldn’t have to be the one to say it and make him feel weird about it. He was used to that.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a dick.” He rubbed the back of his neck, still not turning around to face her. He felt like a bit of an idiot as it was. He didn’t want her to think that he didn’t want to stay either but he wasn’t sure how the hell to go about it. “You’re... I dunno. You’re nice and different and it’s terrifying. I don’t want to be rejected by the nicest person.” He said lowly. “You’re really sweet and I’m scared to get to know you properly. Everyone talks about how lovely you are and I know you must be.” God, talking about feelings? He didn’t know how to properly do that without sounding like a damn idiot. “I’ll probably like you a lot more than I should. The sex is fucking fantasitic. But then I think about you kickin’ me out or waking up and realizing what you’ve done and get upset.”

Y/N could understand him, sure. It was self preservation. He assumed because of his past and naturally, he wanted to be ahead of the curve. He didn’t even give her a chance. Y/N felt like this type of behavior didn’t help anyone, only landed them in situations like these.

“Hurts a lot more when you just get up and leave ya know?” Y/N swallowed thickly. “Feel dirty... used... convince myself it isn’t what you mean and that maybe it’s just cause you’re ashamed or something.” She said with a shrug, “know you’re a nice guy, know you don’t mean it like that... but..” it still hurt. “We decided it wasn’t going to be anything more and I wasn’t expecting anything more, just thought maybe we could be I dunno... not like this?” Y/N chuckled sadly. “Thought that we could be friendly even if it wasn’t real? Dunno, just... the last time you were here it felt nice? Felt like what I wanted it to feel like, minus the awkward bolt you did once you realized where you were.”

“Fuck. I’m a dick. I didn’t want— I don’t want you to feel like that.” That had him turning around, piercing in his brow slanting down with the snarl in them. “I just can’t do this shit right, huh?” He groaned, a sarcastic chuckle leaving his throat. “Jesus. I don’t know how I manage to fuck shit up so damn bad. I don’t want you to feel dirty or used cause you’re not. I enjoy myself, darlin’.” There was a deep sigh, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. How the fuck did he end up getting it all wrong? “Wasn’t leaving cause I didn’t like it. Left because I did. Too much. S’not what I’m used to and I don’t think I could have stomached you telling me to leave, so I just left before you could tell me to.” He looked down at his lap. “M’sorry, Y/N. It wasn’t my intention. Know that doesn’t do shite to make you feel any better and doesn’t take away the fact that I’ve been a dick but, I thought you’d want me to leave.”

“Why?” Y/N asked softly, deciding that if she got him talking she might as well get the answers she wanted out of him. “Why did you think I’d want you to leave? Cause I wasn’t going to ask you to.” Y/N told him honestly, “it isn’t polite and even then I thought... I would feel like shit if someone asked me to leave.” She explained with a small sigh. “Just because we decided it was nothing more than sex didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to at least try to be your friend or something... I just assumed that wasn’t what you wanted. Practically ignore me everywhere else.” Y/N knew that no one really knew about them. They sat there for a few moments before she decided to be bold, to look at him properly and just get this over with.

“Do you want this to be more than sex?”

Harry sat and thought about it for a moment. Of course, he did. His little crush on her was massive now and he had been kidding himself every time he left to walk away and do dumb shit like this.

“I didn’t think you had any interest because you didn’t really show any besides wanting to fuck.” He said bluntly. Which is true. “I thought I’d be overstepping boundaries by suggesting more. Plus... you’re so.... good. You’re sweet as fuck, you’re smart, I would have thought you’d want an office dude or someone who’s going to give you some sort of good stability. Not some guy like me.” Harry shrugged, looking over to her. “I can’t tell what you’d want. Maybe s’partially my fault because I leave so quickly. But... I dunno. Maybe? It’s... it’s hard.” He didn’t know how to explain it properly. On the outside, he was a dickhead. A bad boy. He fucked, drank, smoked, dabbled in coke and shrooms. He was an artist, wanted to be a tattoo artist, didn’t see himself leaving at least for another 2 years. Then he wanted to go to New York, or New Orleans. Something bigger than him. Would she want any of that?

“Could’ve asked me out for a drink or something... didn’t have to be this elaborate thing.” Y/N sighed and played with her fingers some more. Obviously she enjoyed herself, obviously she didn’t want it to stop, but he wasn’t wrong about her not showing him any signs of wanting more. They agreed to it being strictly sex so she kept it at that. “So what then, you’re just going to keep coming around and fucking me and leaving again?” She asked quietly, “what do you want me to do?” Y/N didn’t know how she could help in this situation. She didn’t deny him, never said she wasn’t interested, but when asked if he wanted more he deflected. Y/N had been single her whole college career. She wanted to focus on her school work, besides, all the college guys were assholes... most of them were. They just assumed they knew more, tried to mansplain everything. She hated it. Y/N didn’t want that. If she was going to get into a relationship of any kind, she would hope that they brought out the best in her, made her feel like she could have fun the way Harry did.

“No— obviously m’nit gonna do that. I didn’t realize it made you feel shitty. S’what everyone else has wanted but... I should have realized.” Harry licked his dry bottom lip. “You’re a lot nicer than them. Softer. I shouldn’t have just treated you like everyone else and m’sorry for that.” Of course she was different. She was just... sweet. She never made him feel poorly and always praised him during sex. Always was excited to see him. He really felt like a massive dick. Especially seeing the worry in her face. “What do you want?” He asked, picking at the non existent lint in the bed. “Like... would you want to do somethin’ other than that?”

“I wanna go on a date...” Y/N said without really thinking, “if you want... we can like, go for coffee or a drink or something just... talk.” She didn’t know what he was going to say, she felt like she would bite the bullet in this case since he was far too nervous to take initiative. She had to force it out of him. “And if it’s not up to your expectations then I guess we can just pretend it never happened or something... you can even come here for dinner if you want?” Y/N didn’t want to make a fool of herself. “and if you don’t wanna do any of that then maybe we can just like... be friendly?” She rubbed at her eye, feeling extremely sleepy. He really did fuck her good.

The two of them were realizing that they were both full of shit. They should have communicated better, shouldn’t have been guessing. Neither of them wanted to comprise the sex but sometimes, adult decisions had to be made.

“I’d... you’d really want to go on a date with me?” It wasn’t something he had ever initially expected but hey. Harry would take it. Especially because she was so shy usually but she had been the one to switch roles and take charge when it came to talking about feelings. “Yeah. We can do that.” He noticed she was sleepy, rubbing at her eyes and felt guilt course through him as he noticed it. “Why... don’t we talk about this in the morning’. You’re so tired.” And damn, was she cute. He felt a bit of pride as well knowing a good fuck could help aid in the sleepy thing.

“I promise I’ll be here in the morning.” He stood up and took his jeans back off but kept the shirt on, not sure what was proper when sleeping with a girl when you weren’t fucking them. This was good, yeah? Cuddling was still foreign so he wasn’t going to attempt it— he would let her decide if that’s something she wanted. “Any of that sounds good to me. M’sorry I was a prick. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me but that’s my own fault.”

“It’s okay, you can make it up to me.” Y/N was happy that he agreed to go on the date with her. She felt like it would be nice for them to actually have a conversation without it leading to sex. Just for them to get to know each other properly and not just based on what they’ve heard. She hummed as she felt sleep coming on, immediately falling back on the bed and getting all cozy. Y/N curled up and pulled the pillow closer to her, looking up at him as he stripped back down. “Shirt too.” She mumbled. “cause you’re warm.” Y/N cooed and patted the spot next to her. She moved to curl up to him, lifting his arm so she could rest her head on his chest. “What? You said you liked the cuddle.” She teased, nuzzling against him. “Could you turn off the light?” She asked, pointing to the switch above her bed.

Harry felt okay now. A bit shaky— but better. He didn’t know what would come of this, but he could feel that he was comfortable and warm and bright. Happy. She made him feel at ease with these simple things and had even suggested a date. A date. Something the man hadn’t imagined a girl like her would ever be into but, look at them now. When he turned off the light and settled into the bed, feeling the warmth of her body as she clung on to him— there was one thought that kept going through his mind.

It’ll be alright.

------------------------------------------------

A/N: ahhh thank you for reading, this is something a bit different for us, but hopefully these little oneshots/blurbs we can post a bit more often in between series updates! also, but congrats to cass once again, you a queen. we love you 🥺 - n + d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

#writing #majorharry20k #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry writing #harry styles angst #punk!h #jarofstyles

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sammysnaughtygirl · 3 years

Text

the way you treat me

Fandom: Walker (TV 2021)Rating"R Warnings:adult content Characters: Cordell Walker (Walker TV 2021), Grace& Emily Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Walker Bingo, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Smut, Crossover Pairings, - Fantasy Summary: cordwell walker uses blackmail against rival Grace

Square Filled"blackmail,Angst cordell walker ,had had a bad day at work ,his face was smeared with redness as he had just bumped into an old friend and found out that she too was now a texas ranger and he couldnt understand what she was up to why she had joined the force why she had come back to town without informing him if made him fume with anger ,G race was cordy,s longtime friend but before she had left town without letting him know she was leaving they had become more than friends so he thought now he just didnt want to see her at all.his mind wondering what had sent her packing had also wanted to know what had brought her home cordell was so upset he just starting throwing things around the room shattering glass and smashing holes into the walls with his fist he was now in a new relationship with emily but if knew if he spent even just one moment with Grace he wouldnt be able to control himself because he knew deep down in his heart he wasnt over her so he made up his mind he just had to prepare himself for their reunion ,Emily had to be first he had to make himself keep her the focus of his agenda but he felt he knew it was gonna take all the power he had to do this. he snatched open the fridge and grabbed a beer before plopping into the chair in front of the tv he drank serval before heading off to bed his dreams were covered with images of Grace dancing thru out the night when he awoke he dressed in a hurry and dashed out for the office praying he was early enough that he wouldnt run into her as cordell was reaching for his assignment the door flung open and in a instant Grace came gliding thru it as if she hadnt a care in the world not even taking notice of cordell standing there glaring at her Grace stumbled into the bosses office and drapped herself in the seat asking what she needed to do for the day,she was handed an assignment the boss making it clear that she need to take charge and get to work immeditaly so she ripped the paper in half and stuck in her pocket ,out the door she went with no hesitation not looking to see her new partner might be as she reached the patrol car cordy stood beside the passenger side door with anger in his eyes omg Grace plurred out not you ,well im not happy about this either cordell shouted back to her its not my cup of tea to have to see you again. me, Grace was stung with his words why are you so mad at me ,cordell couldnt believe she would even ask him such a thing you left not explaining to me why or if you,d come back how was i to know you couldnt handle things what Grace asked she started to laugh at his gesture which made him grow angerier ,Grace could see hurt in him im sorry for not talking to you before i just took off but i didnt know how to deal with what was happening not just between us i had alot going on,so why didnt you come & tell me this did it make it better to shut me out to take the high road and just leave me in the dark? no it wasnt fair for me to leave without explaining to you why i had to im listening cordell said ,we cant do this now she told him we have work to do,oh i get it the old dodge the question routine, no it will just have to wait Grace said work has to come first sure cordell agreed as they both jumped into the patrol car this isnt uncormfortable at all Grace said cordell sneered at her without saying a word back the day grew long but they stayed silent after all they both were just not ready for real talk soon the day had come to end and they parted ways waiting for the right time to open the wounds she had left behind Grace didnt know exactly how much hurt she had caused. the next day she hoped things would look clearer but cordell wasnt going to make it easy for her he wanted answers he pulled her aside after arriving at work the next day ,we have to have to talk about it he said fine Grace followed him into

breakroom i need to know why you left he asked she looked at him her eyes were filled with tears i had to she told him but why ,why i dont understand he looked confused Grace nodded her head i know you dont ,Emily found out and she threatened you what,no way not possible cordell said she threatened me how ? she threatened to have your job she knew how much you meant to me still do actually ,stop it cordell pleaded i dont trust you anymore fine Grace told him ask her yourself she was afraid of the time we were spending togather she knew you had fallen for me too thats why she did it,she wanted to tear us apart and it looks like it worked your the one who walked away not me i would have never left you .i need to talk to Emily still dont believe me huH? cordell turned his back and walked out of the room,he stormed out of the building pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Emilys she picked up after just two rings hello ,Emily i need to see you now can you meet me at the square in an hour sure babe she told him what,s up nothing i just need to see you its important ok ill be there see ya soon bye she said,cordell got into his pickup truck and drove to the square where he waited for Emily to show up he sat in the middle of the square at a table directly facing the road so he could see her before she seen him ,the minutes went by quickly and before he knew it she was pulling into a parking spot he watched her as got out and started to walk over to his table he stood up as she approached him and he kissed the side of her check whats up anything wrong she asked him ,cordell shook his head you tell me he said why did you threaten Grace & me it was blackmail you know that right wait stop she nodded i can explain ,explain what how you took her away from me how this was all your fault?thats not what i meant Emily spoke i need to let you know why i did it i love you,no you just wanted what you couldnt have isnt that right you knew i loved her ,you knew how i felt about her and you didnt say a thing ,you probally knew she loved me as well is that why you did it ? i didnt mean to you didnt mean to what hurt me how did you think i was gonna react did you think i was gonna just fall into bed with you was that it ,Emily grabbed his hand i love you not her,cordell slowly removed her hand from his im sorry i dont feel the same yes you do i know you do she started to become violent and adutanted no i dont cordell tried to be calm with her as she was going off on him he decided it was time to just walk away as she tried holding on to him .you cant just walk away she cried as cordell fled,Grace was alone back at her moms old place and cordell knew he would find her there so he wasted no time after his meeting with Emily he knew now what had happened so he was headed to comfront her once again ,when he reached the porch of her house he started to feel those old feelings surface as he knocked on the door Grace peaked out to see who it was can i come in he asked sure she lead him inside i talked to Emily really Grace said howd that go i know what you told me was true i was just mad and hurt im sorry for the things i said to you apology accepted ,she told him he stood there learing at her what whats wrong she asked how could do that to me ,cordell i told you no i mean really how could you just walk away knowing how i felt about you i didnt want to cause trouble for you i wasnt sure if you felt the way i did ,so i just gave in to her demands it was easier than being rejected by you ,how can you say that you know id never reject you,he took a step foward and placed his hands around to cradle her face im in love with you how could you not see that he leaned down and softly kissed her pink lips she could feel her body clinging to his every word i want to be with you not Emily .Grace was so excited she threw her arms around him and squezed him so tight as if she never wanted to let go the tension was mounting the heat from his touch made her dizzy,maybe we should move this to your bedroom cordell implied catching her breath yes maybe we

should he scoped Grace up his his arms and carried her to the bedroom bringing the door shut with his foot he dropped her on the bed gently and drapped himself over the top of her and leaned in glancing her over before brushing a kiss against her lips ,standing to his feet he lifted Grace and slowly undressed her his hands once again found her mouth tracing the outline of her lips with his fingertips ,moving back on the bed cordell slide his hands down her body tracing her outline it made Grace tingle with every touch the two conitnued on to make sweet love and ended the night falling asleep moments later being at peace with one another embracing their newfound love .Grace dreamed that night the most beautiful dream ever .the way you treat me its the most beautiful thing i could ever imagine she had found what she was searching for cordell .

#blackmail #Angst #Square Filled #walker bingo 2021 #my fanfic #WALKER SUARE FILLED: blackmail :angst #cordell walker #emily #grace

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shereadsandwritesformelanin · 4 years

Text

What I Need

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x Black!Fem reader

Summary: Wanda and y/n hide their relationship until y/n can’t take it anymore, they break up. Wanda doesn’t realize just how much she’s lost until y/n is hurt on a mission.🌈

Warning: angst but overall fluff!

FIRST OF ALL HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BITCHES🌈 I LOVE MY LGBTQ + community BBBY’s ‼️

🏳️‍🌈BE LOUD AND PROUD DONT LET ANYONE SHUT YOU DOWN! LOVE WHO YOU FUCKING LOVE! 🏳️‍🌈

A/N: Making this because I know a little to well what it’s like being with someone who’s closested and every time your around family and friends your just a “good friend.” I hope you guys enjoy!

*THE READERS POWERS ARE OF AANG OR KORA THE AVATARS*

SEND REQUEST‼️ → Masterlist

“Morning baby.” You whisper rolling over wrapping your arms around Wanda pulling her close.

You take in the scent of her skin and hair. She always smelt like aged vinalla, the scent brought you home.

She turns her head facing you planting a light kiss on your lips. “Goodmorning.”

She untangled herself from your arms, propping up on the bed slipping into her house shoes and sweatshirt. “I should get going, before anyone wakes up.” Wanda explains.

You scoff, sitting up resting against the headboard.

Everynight and every morning it was the very same routine.

She came in around 12 a.m, you’d talk for a bit, make love for a while, then you’d cuddle and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Then as soon as the sun peaked through the bottom of your curtains she left. And it was back to being just “friends.”

You loved Wanda but you hated being hid. You never been one to care about what others thought of you, but Wanda she was already afraid of who she was and she was sure others were too. She didn’t want any other reason for them to be distant toward her.

“You know what Wanda.’ You pause drawing in a breath collecting your thoughts. “You always do this every morning, come and go like I’m a fucking motel pit stop for you to get off and keep warm!” You shout

“Well I’m done being that! If you can’t be with me beyond these doors well than I don’t want you!” You shout tears streaming down your face.

Wanda opened her mouth to speak but she couldn’t. You were right, she had kept you in he dark. Not because she didnt love you but because she loved you, because she was scared of what others would think of her. If they’d shame her anymore.

The team had accepted you for who you were through and through, but they loved you and always have. Unlike Wanda she hasn’t felt that love yet.

Tears swelling in her eyes Wanda quickly slips out of the room rushing to her own before breaking down.

You slumped in your bed in disbelief. You’d been feeling this way for a while now and it was only right you let it out for yourself.

Hopefully one day Wanda would come around..

It had been two weeks since you two had ended things,and you barely spoke.

The team even started to notice the shift, especially Natasha.

“Hey what’s up with you and Wanda?” She asks placing her hand on your shoulders.

“What do you mean by that?” You questioned pretending you had no clue what she was on about.

Nat gives you a look, the look read “you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Out of the whole team Nat was who you trusted the most. She was your older sister, and you knew anything you said she’d take to the grave.

Taking a deep breath you prepare your thought. “We had been seeing each other for a while, nothing serious I guess.” You admit.

Natasha nods listening to you admit what you’ve been hiding for so long.

“Well for what it’s worth I thought you two were adorable.” Nat annouces slipping away to go train.

Your brows immediately perk up, mouth agape. I guess you truly couldn’t keep anything hidden from a spy like Natasha.

The mission was going smoothly. It was an all girls mission, so you, Nat, Wanda, Nebula, and Pepper were alone and out on the field.

“Hi right y/n.” Pepper shouts hovering above you in her silver and purple rescue suit

Immediately you force tons of bricks upward knocking out the enemies seemingly sending them into orbit.

Wanda watched you fight as she continued in her own battles, her moves so dance like. Truthfully she always loved the way you fought, so effortlessly but yet so powerful as you congured up all the earths natural elements to battle off the bad guys that swarmed you.

She watched wipe out enemies with the swip of your feet flames exploding from them, fist and hands shooting water and wind left and right, earth shifting from your fingertips.

Wanda was very much in love. She could never admit because she felt it was wrong, but it was so right. Or maybe she didn’t feel it was wrong, maybe it was too right and she was scared of ruining a good thing.

“Y/n your six!” Natasha yells.

You whip your head in the direction you heard Natasha warn you about. It was too late, you were blown back by a blast that was sprung from one of the aliens guns. Your head hit a rock, you felt a warm feeling through your entire body.

Blood.

Then everything went black.

“Y/n!” Wanda shouts running toward your still body

She slides on her knees next to you projecting away any other threats, building a force field around you.

“Y/n, baby stay with me please.’ Wanda shutters. It was hard for her to focus her mind on the force field and hopelessly healing your wounds.

“I need help I’m getting swamped and y/n is hit. Help us!” Wanda pleads shouting through the coms.

“We got it. Back ups on its way Wanda, hold on!” Pepper shouts informing

Wanda rocks you back and fourth moving her hands methodically around the wound on your torso and head, her energy seemingly closing your scars slowly. “Shh, stay with me baby. Stay with me.” Wanda cooes.

“Wanda the quinjet is here, they’re gonna take y/n.” Natasha informs through coms.

Wanda immediately releases her force field. Making you levatate running behind your floating body still on alert, She just wants to get you home safe.

Your loaded onto the ship and the team immediately gets to work.

“What happened?” Tony asks pulling out medical supplies passing it along to banner and Dr.Cho

“I’m not sure there- there was this alien and the machine, it shot her. Is she going to be okay?” Wanda stammers pacing hands running through her messy battle hair.

“We are gonna do what we can, we can’t let the avatar down. Not the last of em.” Dr. Cho reassures

“Shit!” Wanda shouts slamming onto the floor shooting psonic energy from all angles of her body.

“Hey we don’t have time for a breakdown right now.’ Tony states. He walks over to Wanda examining her body language.

He wasn’t the best at relationships but one thing was clear. Wanda was indeed in love with you.

“How long.” Tony questions sitting down next to Wanda.

“What?” Wanda exhausts

“How long have you been in love with Y/n?”

Wanda releases and low bellied chuckle. “Long enough.”

The reality of it was, Wanda hadn't known how long she’d been In love with you. She knew being with you made her happy, more than happy, one day it just hit her. She was indeed in love with her.

Please get better.

You attempt to open your heavy eyes, shifting in the uncomfortable recovery bed.

Wincing, you reach up to touch your fresh wounds.

Wanda sits next to your bedside her head resting between her palms, as she seemingly prayed for a healthy recovery and forgivingness from her end.

“Wanda?” You whimper shifting slowly to face her.

It was blurry to see but you’d recognize those big green eyes anywhere.

“Y/n!” Wanda gasps wrapping her hands into yours reaching over your stiff body to press a button.

“What- what are you doing here?” You question holding your forehead in pain.

“I’m here for you, I'm always here for you.” Wanda states kissing the back of your palms running her other hand on your matted curls.

You shoot her a small soft smile, signaling to allow be bygones to be bygones, for the moment.

Wanda couldn’t help but feel the tension between you two. Obviously you wer happy to see her and she was beyond ecstatic to see you up and alive, but the tension was unsettling.

“Hey look who’s up!” Tony elated slipping checking your vitals and dressings.

“Your looking better than we thought.” He admits

“Perks of being the avatar.” You state sarcastically

You felt Wanda squeeze your hand she often did this when she wanted attention.

Your eyes shoot in her direction giving her access to speak to you.

“Can we talk.’ Wanda whispers eyeing between the two of you and tony. “Once he leaves.”

Tony gets the que to exit leaving me and Wanda alone.

Silence fills the room until Wanda finally speaks up.

Wanda grips your hand even tighter, curling a strand of your curls behind your ear again. It was like a nervous tick of hers when she spoke with you.

“Y/n.’ Wanda speaks drawing in a heavy breath. “When I saw you there, laying there fighting for your life I-I was freaking out doing everything I could to rescue you.”

You saw the tears swelling in your eyes while You were already releasing tears of your own. “Wanda—.” You croke

“Please let me finish.” She interrupts softly

“When I saw you laying there. It made me realize how much I truly do love you and need, and want you.” She confessed now full on crying.

“I love you so much y/n and I don’t give a damn who knows it anymore, I’m beyond that I just need you.” Wanda cries

You sat perplexed by her sudden change of heart. You couldn’t pretend this didn’t make your heart swell from her finally admitting her feelings because it did. You knew what you needed to do.

“Okay.’ You speak gripping her face pulling it into yours.

Your swollen lips meet her delicate soft ones. You two begin to move in a memorized sync battleing do dominance.

The kiss was a beautiful mixture of tears and passion.

Jesus Christ Wanda Maximoff what are you doing to me.

Breaking the fiery kiss “I love you.” You whisper forehead rested against hers.

Wanda cracks a bold smile teeth shinning through. “Wanna make some s’mores.” She suggested pulling out the ingredients from her bag.

A smirk slides onto your face, fingertips illuminating with fire.

“You know me to well.”

A/n: I hope you guys enjoyed this!! If you have any requests from those listen in my Masterlist please send them!!

Also as I continue with my series TBAHA I will be writing short pieces like that to keep my blog going because it’s not only about cevans 😅😏

Thank you guys for the support and be sure to reblog and “❤️” this one if you care!

BE LOUD, BE PROUD, STAY COOL.🏳️‍🌈✊🏾💖💜💙

#wanda maximoff #scarlett witch #marvel #wanda maximoff x fem #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x poc #wanda maximoff x black reader #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff lesbian #lgbtq #lgbt couple #lesbian pride #bisexaul #i love her #black reader #chris evans x black ofc #black ofc #black bisexual

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chicagopd2020 · 4 years

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New Beginnings Are Good For Everyone Ch.5

Waking up the next morning was one of the easiest things she ever done, which was weird because she hated monday mornings so much. But getting up and going through her morning routine just to make sure everything is right before she heads out for her first day as member of the Chicago PD Intellgence Unit. Kim had a little extra pep in her step and she was happy about it because it hadnt been there in a long time. She grabbed her jacket & keys ready to walk out the door. She stops for coffee to make sure that doesnt hit a wall in the middle of the day.

Kim walks into the station and she sees Sargent Platt, she decides that the best thing to do is to talk to her and to see what she is suppose to do. She stands there silently as Sargent Platt finishes the conversation with the officers in blue. When Trudy looks up and notices Kim she tells the officers to move along. She welcomes her back and asks if she is ready for her first day.

Kim replies happily that she was more than ready to prove herself to everyone. She kept small conversation with Trudy until Trudy looks behind her and notices one of the members of the Intelligence Unit.

Upton?

Yes Sargent?

You know Agent Kim Burgess?

Yes I know Kim

Well would mind buzzing her upstairs with you just until we can get her into the system.

Of course, follow me Kim and show you where you are going to start spending most of your time

Oh I cant wait.

I promise you that will change, I love my job but you have no time for a personal life.

I guess that it is a good thing that I am a woman focusing on her career right now and not a romantic relationship.

They carry on with their conversation with their small climb of the stairs, Hailey walks her to Voights office and wishes her good luck even though she knows she will see her in just a couple mins.

Kim welcome to your first day as a memeber of intellgence, just want to go over a few things while we wait on the last couple people to show up. He starts going over the rules and not that there was many rules but he lives strongly by the few rules that he has.

Kim has noticed that Hank Voight is not your normal Sargent but she wasnt wanting normal she was just wanting to serve justice for the city of Chicago. She continues to listen intently to what Voight is saying taking everything he was saying to the heart so she knows what not to do to get on his bad side. I am going to give you a few weeks to study everything, I have set up your test in two weeks for you detective exam. The moment finally comes to where he asks if she had any questions

I will make sure that I study up on everything that I need to know so that I can pass the test of my first try. I say things like that so I can keep it in my mind that I will pass the test and that I can do anything I put my mind to.

I know that everyone is partnered up with someone, I was just curious who my partner was going to be? I know that no matter who I am with that I will have a great partner. This team just seems like they have each others back no matter if they are actually partners or not.

That we do Kim we are family here, Whatever one member of the intellgence is going through everyone feels the pain, I know that it is weird to say buts it true. We have our fights like any of family but at the end of the day we will have each others back no matter what.

That is exactly what I want because at the FBI yes it was everyone worked as a team but at the end of the day everyone was only watching out for theirselves and if they had the chance to do it they would throw someone under the bus in a heartbeat. That was until Erin came I knew that she would have my back no matter what and she was the only thing that I was going to the miss about it and that was it.

Good to hear Kim, he looks out the window and notices that the whole team is here. Come on lets go out to the bullpin and I will let everyone know all at once who you are going to partnered with.

The door opens and everyones eyes looks toward the door and sees Kim and Hank exiting, Hank finally speaks up, So as everyone of you know Agent Burgess as of today is officially a member of Intellgence and I think she is going to be an amazing addition to the team and I want you all to make her feel at welcome. So as of today Burgess you are going to partnered up with Halstead, Upton you will be with Ruzek and Atwater you will be Olinksy.

Hailey showed Kim where her desk would be, which was actually her old desk. Hank liked the partners to be close to each other that shows they can work as a team not only on the street but in the close quarters of an office.

The first couple hours was kind of quiet just everyone going over cases they had been working on. When Voight walks out of the office and catches all of their attenion.

We have a case, We are looking at a small drug smuggling team that is somewhat new to the city, and one of the leaders of the team is trying to look normal or something because he has a nine to five job and he doesnt live in these high priced homes to make it not look so obvious but the others, they are staying hid very well because there has been no trace of any clues as to who any of his partners are. This is Lorenzo Lopez he is best known as Enzo.

Kim finally looks away from the file in her hands and takes a look at the picture hanging on the board, and her eyes go huge. She looks over a Jay and they share this look knowing that this was the neighbor that Jay thought was very sketchy. Voight must have caught onto that look, cause he questioned them.

What is that look the two of you just shared?

Well it turns out that he lives in our building and right next door to Kim. He just moved into the apartment a few weeks ago and he seemed kind of sketchy but I never really thought anything of it.

Kim was just lost in her thoughts that she didnt really hear the conversation that was going on. Until Jay tapped her shoulder to get her attention. She slightly jumped that never happens, she just thought that she left him in the past and now she was going to be apart of the team to send him to prison and honestly she cant say that she was upset about it. It was one of the main reasons that she left him she knew that the business that he was in wasnt legal and there was no way in hell that she was going to let him mess up her career.

Kim are you alright?

Yeah, Im just thinking about someway, anyway that we can take him down.

Jay wasnt buying it but it was her first day he wasnt going to push the boundaries just yet. So he just let it go for now.

Halstead you and Burgess go talk to your CI'S and see if they know anything about this. Everyone just keep digging into his past and see what you can dig up.

Kim heard the last sentence and knew that she had to tell someone about her connection to the suspect before someone actually figured it out and wonder why she didnt tell them, so who is best to tell then her partner.

They get into Jay's truck and head out and she knew that if she didnt talk about it now that she never would. She lets out this deep breathe

Jay I need to tell you something.

You can tell me anything. Im here for you

Its about the suspect that we are looking into, you know last night when I said something under my breathe about our sketchy neighbor

Yeah, what about it?

Well, what I didnt tell you is that I know Enzo very very well

How well?

As in we were together for over a year

What?!?!

Yeah, when we first met he was normal like any other guy but then the longer that we were together its like I just didnt get the same vibe from him that I used to. When we would spend time together I would feel uneasy that something could go wrong at any minute. So after that night I just told him that I think that it was best if we seen other people and that I didnt see a future with him. Lets just say that he didnt take it the best and i had to end up moving somewhere else but a few weeks before I found out that I got the job here I felt as if I was being followed and yet somehow we end being neighbors. I didnt want to think nothing much about it when I first set eyes on him but it just seems like he found out from someone that I was moving here and just thought that maybe if he lived here first that I wouldnt think nothing about it.

Kim you definetly have to tell Voight about this

I know I just didnt think that I would ever see him again

Even though you never thought you would see him again doesnt change anything he is our main suspect and you could be the reason he is in Chicago and that may actually lead us to him, I would never actually make you do anything that would put you in danger I hope you know this

I do know this, but whatever helps put him behind bars quicker I am willing to help

Jay talked to a couple of his CI'S and they were not much help, So they started back toward the station when Halstead got a message with an address to meet the rest of the team. As they arrived they seen the team surrounding something on the ground and as they made it to their side they seen that it was a woman who couldnt have been not much older than 25 and she was laying there with a cut throat.

Do we think that this has anything to do with Enzo and his men? Kim questioned

We wont know anything until we get the autopsy back. Says Voight

Sarge is there anyway that I can have a word with you

Yeah, sure

They walked far enough away that nobody would be able to hear what they were talking about. She told him everything that she told Jay and hoped that whatever she told him would help.

Kim I know that wasnt easy to say but I am glad that you told me before we had to find it out on our own and then it would have looked bad on your end and looked like you were hiding something.

Thats what I thought and Jay told me that I should tell you right away and I feel so much better now that I did.

They join back up with the team and all head back to the station. Once they make it back to the station everyone gathers around the board and Voight feels the team in on everything you told him and they tried to figure out what was the best way they could get his guards down long enough for someone to get into his place to bug his apartment or even his phone.

Kim was the first person to speak up.

I think we know the only person that he is going to even let into his apartment is me

Kim you dont have to do this...Voight and Jay say at the same time

Your right I dont but I know that this is my job and that it is the right thing to do. You could always be close enough to that if I feel threathened that you will be right there.

If you are sure that you want to do this then we will do it

Its the furthest from what I want to do but its what I know needs to be done.

Alright everyone we will put everything in motion tonight. So get ready

Kim cant believe she is the one that thought of this but I think in the end its the only thing that would have made sense, Its the only way they will be able to bust him

#jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #Jay halstead x kim burgess #kim burgess #chicagopd #chicago pd x reader

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imagines-dreams · 5 years

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Working at Jacobi’s and Falling for Race - Racetrack Higgins Headcanons

So you work at Jacobi’s Deli, and you see the newsies often

Sometimes, it’s just a handful, Jack and Dave and Les, but sometimes, they fill up the entire store

Race included

Race always flirted with you, alwayssss

He never stopped

Every single word out of his damn mouth was for flirting

And like every server, you just smiled, blushed, and did your job.

Still, you couldn’t help but develop a slight crush on him.

Which was stupid of course

He probably flirted with all the girls

Especially if he was flirting with a waitress he only saw once a week

But nah, that was not the case at all, man

Race was enamored the first time he saw you

He walked into Jacobi’s and couldn’t breathe the moment he saw you

And since then, he couldn’t find any other girl attractive

Sure there were pretty girls, but next to you??? Nothing. They were dull, meh compared to your beauty

So, Race stopped flirting with girls on the street and started flirting with you

He enjoyed seeing you blush and giggle and smile whenever he said something

“Thanks for the water, angel.”

“My day just got better! How are you doing?”

“Highlight of my day, getting some water from you.”

Oh god, the first time he heard you giggle, like Race already was head over heels, but like your laugh was just the killing blow

It was like the gates of heaven was opening up. Like, he thought he died, and as the gates opened up for him and the angelic choir wasn’t a choir of angels, it was you and your shy giggle

Honestly heaven

He didn’t want to ask you out though

He knew that he was putting you on a pedestal

Race knew he had to get to know you

Or at the very least, ask you out when you weren’t working

Cuz thats rude

So he just keeps flirting with you

So he can get that feeling of heaven when you laugh

Then, it becomes his goal to work harder to sell papes faster. Cuz the faster he sells papes, the faster he gets to see you.

He keeps his fingers crossed that one day he will be so early that you won’t be working, and he can actually talk to you instead of just telling you how beautiful you are

Ironically, the first time he finds you off work is when you’re closing the shop.

You were just leaving and locking the door when Race opened the door just as you did, out of breath and flushed from sprinting to get to you

The two of you were so close to each other, and you immediately apologized and stepped away from him.

While Race smiled, even though his cheeks were burning from happiness, embarrassment, and just so many emotions.

“Hey,” he said in such a soft voice

“Hi,” you replied. “I was just, uh, locking up. But, if you want some water-”

“No, no, I’m not here for that.”

Without thinking, you asked, “What are you here for?”

“You.”

That boy’s smirk could melt the Arctic you swear to god.

You blushed and managed to say, “Well, uh, I’m here.”

“Yeah, you are.” Race shook his head. “Uh, can Is walk you home maybe, if ya want to. You can say no, if you wants to.”

Race was just so nervous. He knew you probably just saw him as a flirt, not as someone capable of walking you home.

And you allowed him to walk you mostly there, telling him you weren’t going to lead him to your home

He understood, and finally finally he got to talk to you.

The two of you talked the entire way, and you purposely took a longer route, just to talk to him more

You hoped he didn’t notice

He totally noticed hes a newsie he knows the streets of New York like the back of his hand

But still, he dropped you off a few blocks from your home

“It was, uh, wonderful talking to you, Race.”

“Pleasure was all mine, Misses.” He removed his cap and bowed lowly.

You laughed and curtsied a little and when he left, you went home

It became a routine.

Race walked you straight home after his shift

He didn’t even eat dinner, he would push back dinner to walk you home

When you found out, you were furious and worried.

“What do you mean you haven’t eaten!? It’s so late.”

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to miss walking you home.” It was the first time Race avoided looking at you.

You smiled. “Wait here.”

A few minutes afterward, you emerged from the shop with a brown bag full of goodies.

“Wait, gorgeous, I can’t just take all those from you. Yous got-”

“No, you haven’t eaten.” You held up the bag. “So, we’re going to eat dinner on the way home.”

Race took the bag and peaked inside. “This ‘as gotta cost ya more dimes than the daily run. I can’t-”

“Yes you can.” You pushed the bag to him. “If you don’t take the food, I won’t let you walk me home.” You crossed your arms and watched as Race argued with himself.

Then, he sighed and laughed. “Yous too good for me, aren’t ya?”

It wasn’t true. At least, you didn’t think it was.

I mean, in front of you was a boy who had to work every day of his life just to survive, and he would rather delay dinner after his long day selling papers to walk you home.

So, you kissed his cheek.

And boy, the boy recoiled from you, his entire face was red, and he was staring at you with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen.

You didn’t look too different either.

You felt hot and were blushing everywhere and you were staring at the ground listening to your heart beat in your ears and praying that he wouldn’t run away.

He didn’t.

Race reached out for you hand, intertwining his fingers with yours

“Race?”

“Yes?”

You blinked so many times to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Race was holding your hand and his face was so close to yours and he looked so handsome in the moonlight

“What” -you gulped- “What are you… I…”

“Can I kiss you?”

Without hesitation, you nodded.

And when his lips met yours, oh my god, it was the best feeling

You kissed his back, pushing your lips against his and trying to wrap your head around the fact that that boy, the boy who walked you home for weeks and flirted with you for even longer than that and made you laugh and smile, was kissing you and holding your hand

And oh god the way he kissed you, you could tell that he had been holding back. He had wanted this for a long time, and he was showing it, because not a second into your kiss, Race put the bag of food down and let go of your hand to grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him

You gasped against him, letting out a small giggle, but your lips were together again

Race smiled and pulled away just to say, “Surprise ya, angel?” before kissing you again and pulling you closer, not that you minded, nope you did not mind at all

Suddenly, you were pushed against the door of Jacobi’s with Race’s body pushed up against yours as the two of you continued kissing, your hands wandering to his hair, and your pretty sure his cap fell off, but Race didn’t seem to notice or if he didnt, he obviously didn’t care.

Since Race didn’t have to hold your waist so you were flush against him, his hands went to your cheeks, gently stroking your face and trying to memorize how soft your skin felt against his

It was only when you couldn’t breathe that you pulled away, your hands on his chest and his hands tangled in your hair, and you were still reeling from everything you felt. The happiness, the joy, the nervousness, the heat, the excitement

Race, however, was just acting on the emotions he was feeling, and since your lips were tired, he just kissed your forehead and hugged you close, needing to feel some sort of physical connection to you

You laughed. “That took us long enough, yeah?”

“Us? That was you!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

You kissed him quickly. “Was not.”

… Race.exe has stopped working

“Yeah, was not, you’re right.”

You giggled. “Thank you.” You bent down, picked up the brown bag, and handed it to him. “Now, someone needs to take me home.”

Race grabbed his hat and tipped it. “Yes, ma’am.” He held out his arm for you.

You gladly looped your arms through his and walked home with him.

Since then, the two of you were head over heels in love and you weren’t afraid to show it.

Race came by Jacobi’s at least twice a day before you had to close up shop. Once for food and for flirting with you. Twice to catch you on your break and either talk, eat, or make out.

Then it was walking you home, which, depending on how touch starved the poor newsie was, included a small kiss or a heated makeout session in the alleyway by Jacobi’s

You always had a dinner prepared for him, too

You were better off than he was, so you paid for all his dinners

Race was very upset about this, but you insisted

The boy needed to eat more than just the crusts of bread every now and then.

And so, because of this (and because he admired you so much), he started trying his best to save money.

It was hard and difficult to do so, being a newsie and all, but after about a year of saving nickels and finding pennies on the street, he had finally saved up enough to take you out on a proper date.

By then, the two of you had been together for over a year, still being cute, still walking you home, still making him dinner, and some new things too

Like hanging out with the other newsies, being friends with Katherine, and the newsies knowing how touchy feely you and Race were with each other

So, Race asked Jacobi for a favor.

One day, you came into work, but the atmosphere was different. Your boss was being weirdly quiet and secretive, and whenever you asked why, he just shrugged and said how it was going to be a good day.

Also Race didn’t come by during your first shift like he usually did

The other newsies did, so you asked them if they’d seen him

They acted weirdly too, avoiding the question, hitting and shushing each other

Then, when it was time to take your break, and Jacobi insisted you go outside for some reason

You asked him what he wanted you to do, and he just kinda shooed you out of the shop and told you to take as long as you needed

Where you found Katherine with a large box

“Hey!”

“…What’s going on?”

“Something wonderful!” She squealed and pulled you to a public washroom nearby. “Here, look!” She opened her box, and you gasped.

A beautiful dress, like the ones Katherine wore

“What… Is this…”

“One of mine tailored to fit you?” Katherine nodded. “I know you loved this dress, and honestly, I have too many, and you don’t have enough, so I decided to give it to you as a present!” She pulled the dress out to place on top of you and made sure that it looked like it would fit. “And what better day than today!”

You blinked several times. “I’m not even sure what today is.”

“Don’t worry yourself about that.” She shoved the dress towards you and pushed you into one of the stalls. “Now, change!”

You changed into the beautiful dress and couldn’t help but twirl and show it off in front of Katherine and the mirror.

“Look at you!” Katherine beamed. “Oh, he’s going to love this!”

You nodded. “I can’t wait to show Race. Thank you so much, Katherine.” You stared at yourself in the mirror and admired how well the dress fit you and how well the skirt flared when you twirled. “I’ll be sure to wear this next time I have time off.”

Katherine smirked.

“What’s that face?” You pointed at your friend. “Katherine, I know that face. Last time you made that face, you were plotting, and I-”

“Come on!”

“Wait!” You grabbed your old clothes just as Katherine pulled you out of the bathroom. “Katherine, I need to go back to work!”

Katherine pulled you past Jacobi’s.

“Wait, Race never met me for my lunch break! Katherine!”

“Don’t worry about it. Just trust me!”

Soon, you were getting shoved into a restaurant, an actual sit down restaurant where women wore nice dresses and men had to take off their hats.

Everyone stared at you when you got inside

You could feel their stares weigh you down, so you turned around just to bump into someone.

“I’m sorry. I-”

“Aw, sweetheart, wheres you headin’ to?”

You blinked a few times. You gazed up at him. “Race? What…” You turned to look at all the fancier folk before paying attention to your boyfriend again. “Why…”

“Because I finally have enough money to take you to this kinda place.” He shrugged. “Wait here.”

He talked to the host and you were just starstruck.

Your newsie boyfriend didn’t have a hat for once in his life. His blonde curls were out in the open. He was wearing a button up and a vest and actual trousers. The shirt was a tad loose and the vest had a mismatched button, but wow, he looked good. Really good.

The blush settled in your cheeks by the time Race got back to you. “Come on, doll.”

You and Race followed the host to your table.

Race pulled your chair out like a gentleman before sitting down across from you.

“Race, what is this? How-”

“I’ve been saving up!” He stood up straighter, so proud of himself.

You laughed. “Race, this is wonderful, but you know you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do.” Race reached for your hand across the table and rubbed your knuckles. “You’re my partner, my amazing, wonderful, beautiful person, and you get me dinner every single day.” He shrugged. “Plus, I wanted to.”

So, the two of you had a fancy lunch together. With coffee instead of water and pasta instead of bread and dessert to top it all off.

You and Rac fought over who paid for what. He supposedly could afford the entire thing and end up with a few cents in his pocket, but you couldn’t have it.

So, you paid for coffee, he paid for everything else.

The two of you left, happy

Race and you are constantly teased by the Newsies, and while yes, you were shier than your boyfriend, you eventually grew comfortable sitting in his lap during breaks and the kisses on cheeks.

Race loves you, and you love him, and honestly, nothing could ever change that.

#race x reader #newsies #newsies x reader #newsies imagine #newsies headcanons #race #racetrack higgins #race imagine #race headcanons

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thehonestmommy · 3 years

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My Birth Story (Baby #2) - Part 1

2020 brought and withheld a lot of things for everyone across the globe. But for us, quarantined to our home, it brought new life. And as the year winds down, I’m ready to reflect upon the biggest event of the year, Welcoming Galen Angus O’Neill to the world.

On the morning of September 3rd, I was 4 days overdue and feeing impatient for the arrival of our new baby. I woke around 4 am, and could feel some gentle cramps in my belly. This was not new. Throughout the pregnancy I was fooled over and over again by prodromal labour which I had been enduring for months. I even experienced gallstones during the beginning of my 2nd trimester, so I was no stranger to pains and pangs that lead nowhere.

I did my best to get back to sleep but to no avail. I laid awake and tried not to pay attention to the feelings. Unable to get back to sleep, I listened to some hypnobirthing meditations for about an hour and a half (which I did often in the early mornings/late nights) and although I didn’t sleep again, I rested and relaxed and practiced my mindful isometric breathing.

At about 5:30 I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the real deal. The pains were not different, but my instinct told me this was it. The slow start to the big show. I shook Ryan awake and said “I think this is it!” to witch he responded “oh..yeah? okay” dismissing what he thought was another false alarm. But I didn’t feel any doubt this time.

He got up and got ready for work, and reminded me to call him if things get real and he will come home. Our morning went on as usual.

I got up, got myself and my son Lauchlan dressed and took him to daycare. Admittedly, I don’t remember doing this, perhaps because I was distracted, or maybe because I didnt yet realize what was happening during an otherwise normal and mundane morning routine. Whatever the case, I dont remember taking him there….but he spent the day at daycare.

When I returned home I attempted to sleep but again wasn’t able to. Excitement was keeping me awake and alert. I knew rest of any kind was important, made myself breakfast and lounged in bed with the dog (who stayed close with me), while I watched a few movies. A completely chill morning, but as the morning went on, my cramps were becoming regular, and more noticeable. I began timing them, and although the timing was a little off, I knew this was it. It’s go time!

At 9:00 I texted Ryan:

“Umm….Soon. Contractions are closer together now, about 6-8 mins apart but they are short, only 30 seconds and I can still talk and walk through them.”

He decided to come home as soon as he could, with a brief stop to get get me some gatorade and grapes (both staples in my last birth).

At 9:30 I texted my Doula to let her know I was quite certain I was in early labour. Of all my birth team, I wanted to call upon her first since she would come to help keep me comfortable if I requested it no mater what stage of labour I was in (Midwives typically wait till signs of active labour). I knew I didn’t need her quite yet so she asked me to keep her posted in case the intensity picks up.

At 10:30, I paged my midwife:

Good morning!

I m officially in (at least early) labour. I ve been having surges since 4:15am, and they are getting more intense but are a bit irregular. Most are 40 seconds to a minute long, but are anywhere from 5-9 minutes apart. It’s getting close! (My water did not break and I have no blood or mucus show)

My midwife had a team meeting at noon, so said she could be there by 1pm. That sounded perfect to me, so I laid back down, snacked, sipped water and watched some of my favourite funny moves to help keep my mind distracted; Anchorman (twice!) Step Brothers and Talledaga Nights. (Special shoutout to Will Farrell and John C. Reilly for attending my birth as humour doulas. You boys keep it real) In the meantime I chatted with my bestie Andrea who agreed to come over and take some photos. Her plan was to come by at 2pm. Intermittently I listened to some of my hypnobirthing tracks and walked around the house to help gauge how I was feeling. I was still doing okay. 100% comfortable between surges, and still able to talk during them. I used my home-made mala during my surges to remind myself to breathe and relax my face and shoulders (where I hold most of my tension).

Ryan arrived home and got me some grapes and water, making sure I ate and stayed hydrated. He laid next to me and held my hand while the surges came, and reminded me how strong I am, and that we were soon going to meet our newest baby! I was glad to have him at my side, keeping me calm, comfortable, focused, fed and hydrated.

Andrea arrived shortly after and began photographing the goings-on as I laboured in my room. She kept me company and sat on the bed and observed what my contractions looked like while I was cuddled in my bed in my nest of pillows. I was at this time, doing my best to stop talking, turn inward, and breathe slowly as deeply while in a surge, as they were becoming longer and stronger. They would come mid-conversation with Andrea, and I would pause, breathe, and then continue the conversation. I knew trying to talk through them was still possible, but wouldn’t be as beneficial as breathing.

Soon, My Midwife arrived and confirmed I was absolutely in early labour. At 2:15 I consented to a cervical check. I was 4cm and 50% effaced, my heart rate and blood pressure were normal, and fetal movement was normal. All green checkmarks. I felt very positive about my progress, and confident that things were progressing well and safely.

As my surges continued to gain strength, I began moving around. Laying in bed was just not feeling right any longer. I followed my instincts and shifted from the bed to the floor. My midwifes assistant offered to squeeze my hips during surges to help relieve them, and it was helping so much. During a surge I leaned on her, I leaned on Ryan, and relaxed on a yoga ball in between. No position was better than the other but changing it up helped keep it fresh.

Sadly, around this time I heard from my Doula that she was not able to make it. She was attending another birth that was not going well and that mom needed extra support. I felt like things were going very smoothly for us, so although I was let down, it didn’t send me into a panic. Thankfully she had a backup that was available to attend. Id never met her before, but if my doula recommended her, then I trust that she’s excellent! So she was dispatched to our house.

at 4pm I VERY suddenly began to feel nauseous. Last time that meant I was in transition and the baby was about to come, but i was sure that couldn’t be happening already. My midwife took it as a cue, and offered another cervical check which I would have declined if it weren’t for the nausea. I wanted to know so I consented and found that I was 6cm and 100% effaced. It was time to get in the birth pool! Ryan realized time was getting close so he stepped out to pick up Lauchlan from Daycare.

We made our way downstairs and my secondary doula Victoria arrived and introduced herself. She helped me into the pool at 4:30. The water was hot hot hot and so relaxing! I could do nothing but smile as I eased into the water. I could feel all my muscles let go, and like magic my labour picked up. In the first few moments in the pool, observed my surroundings and was filled with an overwhelming joy. I was surrounding by a caring team; my midwives and doula, one of my best friends and my husband and son (who were still on their way back from daycare), safely in my home and during a pandemic no less, when I would otherwise be birthing alone in a hospital. I was so thankful to be experiencing a smooth birth, in the comfort of my own home. The oxytocin wave washed over me, I very soon needed breathing coaching during my surges. They were becoming powerful enough that I needed to make a low guttural hum to stop myself from gasping. I was entering into the primal stage of birth.

Ryan arrived back home with Lauchlan. I wondered what his response would be like, but he was completely adorable and kept me smiling. He didn’t seem phased at all by what was going on. In fact, he was a sweet help; he fed me water and grapes, and gave me kisses over the side of the pool. He was not too pleased however, that he was not allowed to get in it the birth pool with me, but it didn’t stop him from sticking around for the whole show in innocent presence.

At 5:00 I felt like I needed to pee. Of course, I was in the birth pool. My birth team suggested that if i wanted to stay in the pool I could just pee in there since urine is sterile, but I was 100% not into that! Lord knows how much longer I would be in that water, and the thought just grossed me out. So they helped me out of the tub and I waddled my way through my living room towards the bathroom. I noted to myself how thankful I was that I collected about 20 old towels as I tracked water through my living room (this, by the way, was the only ‘mess’ from the whole birth!) Right at the bathroom door another surge hit and it nearly knocked me off my feet. Thankfully Ryan was there to support me. As soon as it ended, it was like it never happened and I took a moment in the washroom and then quickly went back to the pool.

Once I was back in the pool, I felt incredibly hot and nauseous. Thankfully I did not throw up (I am emetophobic) but this time I knew that wave of nausea meant I was in transition. My surges were less than a minute apart. I complained of the water being too hot a few times, and we realized it actually was! Ryan began adding cold water to the tub and a cold cloth to my head, neck and back to help cool me down. Things picked up. Ryan started my birth playlist and I found focus again with the music. My doula coached me through the surges and told me I should stop doing the low guttural sounds because I was going to risk losing my voice. She said yell if I need to! It’s time to get primal! During my surges I leaned my forearms and shoulders on the edge of the pool and grasped her index fingers like handle bars. I felt like I couldn’t go on, like I would perish if I had to endure any more…. And I knew this meant a miracle was about to happen. I knew I could do it and could keep going, bit the feeling of it becoming too much was so strong. I tried to not say it but the words slipped out “I can’t, I can’t do this” and everyone…Ryan my midwives, my doula, my best friend all let out a chorus of “Yes you can. You already are!” I nodded and kept on.

My next surge at approximately 5:30 my water broke (in the pool). The pressure of it breaking was so strong that It felt like a gunshot in the water. It was so strong that I actually thought for a minute that it was the baby! I was so glad it happened, because I knew it meant the baby was very close. Vitals showed we were both doing well, but there was one issue: meconium in the water. When the water broke, meconium came with it which can be a danger to the baby’s breathing. My midwife leaned in close and looked me in the eye and said “Sarah, there’s meconium in the water. If you want to have this baby at home, we have to do it now. It’s time to push.”

Pushing was not part of my birth plan. I wanted to let the FER (fetal ejection reflex) take over. But hearing that my home birth was at risk of coming to an end and transferring to a hospital pushed me into a new zone of strength. With the next surge, I pushed as hard as I could. And when it was finished I knew I could do better. The following surge I pushed harder and longer and it brought the babies head down. But something felt wrong… I felt like I was being ripped in half and my hips were being violently pulled apart. At that moment I flashed back to Lauchlans birth, and how pushing felt so relieving, and I never once felt like it was ‘too much.’ This was different… Like he was coming out sideways. But before my midwife could even check to see what was happening, another surge came and I gave every inch of my life in that final push, and the baby arrived! 5:43 pm September 3rd, 2020. Our quarantine baby, born at home.

I reached down and lifted my baby out of the water and held my wiggling squishy new baby to my chest. The baby was warm and soft and so alert. The midwives immediately began attending to the baby to make sure all was well, and it was. I leaned the baby back on my forearms and gazed at this beautiful creature. I observed the baby head to toe, and was taken with how beautiful this child was. And this time (unlike last time) I remembered to check and see what gender we had. It was a boy! I announced it to the room with a slightly disheartened tone because I was SURE it was going to be a girl. I was shocked that my intuition mislead me so much, but I chuckled thinking that ‘Sarah and the boys’ has always been my way of life. Being a boy-mom is my calling.

I leaned back in the pool and snuggled my new bundle of joy. I spoke gently to him, “hello baby, welcome to the world! I love you already” Ryan asked me “What is his name?” “I’m not sure” I said. We hadn’t decided which of our chosen boy’s names to use. “Alec, or Galen?” I asked “I’m completely okay with both.” “Galen” Ryan said. “Galen Angus O’Neill.”

After some bonding time in the pool, the midwives cut his cord and handed Galen to Ryan for some skin-to-skin snuggles. They helped me out of the water and on to the couch where my vitals were taken and my midwives reminded me that we needed to deliver the placenta (oh, right! it’s not over!) I relaxed and observed Ryan with our second son in his arms for the first time. He snuggled him and remarked that his mouth was open and looking for food! Once the placenta was delivered and I was stitched from a very mild 1st degree tear, he placed our boy back on my chest where he latched and nursed without any struggle at all. It was perfect. He was perfect.

After some time with me, he was laid on some blankets on our coffee table and his APGAR test began. Amusing to likely only us, Ryan asked “does he have a bum hole?” and thankfully he did, and pooped right away to prove it! He passed everything on the test… a healthy boy! We were ultimately blessed.

We each made guesses at his weight and were shocked to find he was a whopping 9 pounds! Much bigger than I expected!

The rest of my evening was mostly a blur of happy comments and realizing how short my active labour had been… just 1.5 hours! Incredible! the entire labour was about 13.5 hours, roughly the same as my previous labour with Lauchlan (but the active stage was WAY faster with Galen!)

My doula had fed me toasted english muffins and gatorade while I lounged with the baby. Shortly after she helped me upstairs to shower, and tucked me in bed with the baby. I remarked again how incredible home birthing can be, and how lucky I was to do it.

Andrea’s husband Nate came to pick her up and popped in to say hello and congratulations, and brought me a hamburger which I straight up devoured! The midwives took care of cleaning up and put our linens in the laundry while Ryan emptied the pool. Our house swiftly went back to normal and it was as if nothing happened. The only evidence was the new life in my arms. So strange that the miracle of life had happened in my living room just hours before.

Even though I would consider this a successful and beautiful birth, it still took me some time to process it. I Think it’s normal to need to put some distance between you and an even so life altering in oder to see it clearly. I can say now, 3.5 months later, that it was a wholly positive birth experience and I am overjoyed that I was able to successfully birth at home. I would do it again in a heartbeat (although I don’t plan on it!!) and I can’t think of anything that I would change. I am so grateful that this happened for us, especially knowing that not everyone is this lucky. A true blessing of an uneventful birth.

Home births, when safe, are such a gift to the whole family. After the birth I was able to enjoy my baby without him being whisked away for test or baths. My husband and son and friend were able to be by my side to witness the miracle. I was able to labour in comfort, privacy, and with dignity and autonomy, able to make decisions that fit my needs. I was able to shower in my own bathroom, sleep in my own bed, and maintain my chosen level of privacy. I ate my own chosen foods, Wear my comfiest PJs. I was in complete control of the environment. and best of all, I was able to snuggle with my baby and toddler to my hearts content, with no one to interrupt me.

The following week was much of the same. Lounging at home in comfort with intermittent home-visits from the midwives to check on our progress. But one week in, our little paradise got turned upside down and we headed off to CHEO once again. But that is a story for part 2.

Special thanks to Andrea for photographing and witnessing the birth of our baby boy. You did a beautiful job and i’m so glad I got to share the experience with you! xo

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giogio-gucci-gangstar · 4 years

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Dont Stand So Close To Me (pt. 2)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349577/chapters/55997644

He had sent an email. Innocuous enough. Simply describing the bare minimum of what she would be doing which boiled down to being in his company. He had thought of a few set tasks she would be expected to do: make tea, edit chapters, read reference books, etc.

Jonathan was so terrified to even think of her response. She had already agreed in person. Shouldn't that be enough? No, he knew it wasn't. Nothing would ever be enough but having it in writing before him, having something physical to hold describing how bound she was to him was a start.

Soon.

Soon was in fact sooner than he thought, as she replied enthusiastically within minutes. Jonathan couldn't leave his desk, he just kept rereading her email. What did she mean when she said she was “delighted to work in such esteemed company” Was that flattery? How would she have said “I would love to grab tea with you sometime to go over details?” He imagined the words flying off her lips like a song. What was the exact intent behind her saying “love”? Was it absentminded? Intentional? A romantic implication? Regardless of the actual meaning, it was by far his favorite sentence in the email.

Holding the email so tightly in his mind, he almost felt badly for offering her a position that didn't exactly exist. But it exists now, even if I only created it yesterday. While all Jonathan could think about was spending more time with her, however innocent, he started to worry if this was good for her. Am I just wasting time when she could have an actual job? When she should be with her friends? Writing her thesis?

No, he reasoned with himself. He was a world renowned anthropologist by the age of 25 and had gladly accepted the title of professor at the ripe age of 27. No, being with him would be good for her. He could take care of her, and her career too. Having his name on her resume, as an employer, a recommendation, he could even write her in as coauthor if this book ever started to form beyond scribbled notes. He would gladly help her with her thesis, and would have no issues financially reimbursing her for her time.

No, this was not simply a selfish plan to be with her. He truly had her best interests at heart.

~~~~~~~

Two days, an entire two days sustaining himself with only memories of her face, had passed. Finally it was time to see her in lecture again. Though one of the most difficult tasks of his life, he forced himself not to stare, and in fact avoided eye contact entirely. He was quite proud of his self control, though he secretly feared she would see him as rude or cold.

It didn't appear his treatment had bothered her at all as she walked up to him after class beaming.

“Thank you for your email, were you by chance able to see my response?” she asked unassumingly. I've read it hundreds of times. I never knew four lines could excite me so much.

“Yes, I'm sorry I never got a chance to reply!” He ruffled a hand through his hair, quite proud that he had refrained from a gushing email in response. “It's been a very busy week for me between grading papers, meetings and such.” That sounded a lot more professional than ‘I was laying in bed for two days trying to remember your voice’.

“Oh well if you’re not terribly busy at the moment would you like to grab tea now?” She asked, her big round eyes wide with hope. She is definitely asking for a date.

“I think that would be a wonderful break from all of this stress. If you don't mind I know the perfect place.” Jonathan was practically glowing, so terribly excited that this little date was her idea!

The pair strolled out of the academic building idly chatting then somehow she missed a step and nearly face-planted on the ground. Luckily Jonathan’s eyes had never left her, so he was quick to the catch, carefully hoisting her up as she laughed at herself.

“You tripped me!” Was she joking? Did she like my touch?

“I did not! You fell down the stairs.” Jonathan protested.

“Blaming your faux pas on an inanimate object is insulting.” There was that little quirk of her lips again, like she was challenging him to fight and tease back.

Jonathan blushed a bit, rapidly letting go of her waist, “Just please try not to get hurt. I've gotten more scraped knees on these stairs than I care to count.” And she laughed. He was positive it was the most heavenly sound he’d ever heard. It rang out deep, throaty, and totally uninhibited, despite there being many students around.

They made it a few blocks farther as she started telling a story about a Latin teacher she had in high school. She assured him that the teacher was insane in all of the best ways. She was so busy describing their reenactment of the roman tortoise formation that she tripped over her own foot- and right into Jonathan’s arms. Now it was his turn to laugh.

“Was that intentional or are you usually this clumsy” Or do you like being in my arms as much as I love holding you?

“No no, it's just hard to focus on walking when you’re next to me” She didn't look down or pretend to hide her blush, she just continued to grin and look up at him. In that case should I just carry you the rest of the way? Could I pass that off as a joke in case she was being witty?

Sadly they were nearly to the shop. Jonathan had taken her to a cozy little English tea shop nestled in what looked like an old townhouse. He greeted the old couple who ran the shop warmly. He was such a regular, and one of the few Brits in the city, that they had become quick friends.

She quickly exchanged her greetings with the owners before taking a seat with Jonathan at a prim little table. She had only ordered a cup of lavender earl grey, but Jonathan proceeded to change it to a pot, and then added on a pot of Irish breakfast, and a three tiered tea stand. When it arrived it was filled to the brim with tea fancies, sandwiches, marmalades, and biscuits. She stared at him agape.

“Sorry, I didnt have lunch and I'm quite hungry,” He ran his fingers through his hands again, not wanting to look like a man who stuffed his face. “Have as much as you like though! I can always order another.” She simply smiled and took a small biscuit.

Over afternoon tea they discussed the details of her job. She would edit transcripts, mail them to the publisher (whose address in this case was Jonathan’s P.O. box), read any books that may pertain to the subject of his thesis, and any extraneous activities that he may need. Such as making tea (he could not function for long without a cup), bringing lunch, keeping him company etc. Is it too late to add sucking me off under my desk as a routine event? Those were the sort of things normal assistants did right? Pleasing their boss for a raise?

Jonathan shocked himself with the perverted and unwelcome thought. He pushed it far down within himself gritting his teeth with disgust. He loathed the way he thought about her like that, especially when there was nothing but a flimsy table separating them. But he couldn't deny how often that situation played in his mind.

With the details agreed upon, she would start compiling and digitizing his notes the next day. The lunch ended soon after, but not before Jonathan asked for her phone number for faster contact of course. Definitely not for more personal conversations.

~~~~~~~

Walking up to his office the next evening Jonathan heard some girls whispering rather loudly as he approached. One glared daggers at him so he paused to listen, but could only make out phrases of their conversation.

“Professor Joestar”

“that girl from his 11:00 class”

“couldn't keep their hands off each other”

“Teacher’s pet”

“Probably fucked in his office”

It took a good deal to make Jonathan mad, but this was more than enough. He was practically vibrating with rage at the blatant disrespect of her and himself. Over things that haven't even happened yet No things that would never happen. Things that couldn't happen.

“Excuse me girls, I couldn't help but overhear your rather loud conversation concerning me and your classmate. If you have any issues I would be happy to discuss them with me during my office hours.” He peered between the girls, all of them haughty with sneers of jealousy on their faces. “But I dont think Ive ever seen any of you there before…”

“Teachers pet, you said?” Jonathan looked into the redhead’s eyes, the girl who had made the snide remark. “Kaylee is it? Perhaps you would be ‘teacher’s pet’ if you attended office hours and didn't already have a C in my class two weeks in.” He glared at all the girls now, giggling at their friend’s misfortune.

“I recommend putting more effort into my class than this nonsense.”

Horribly cruel girls, he couldn't believe they had the nerve to mock not just their professor, but her too. He gave them a curt nod before walking quickly away, though not in the direction of his office. He could skip grading papers this evening. He needed her immediately.

He took out his phone and finally dialed the number that his fingers had been itching for. “Hello?”

“Jonathan, is everything alright? Did I forget to do something?”

“No, everything is fine. Are you free to come over to my apartment tonight?” Oh that sounded too suggestive But before he could think of some reason she must immediately come over, she replied.

“I’d be happy to,” he could practically hear her grinning through the phone, “what’s the address?”

~~~~~~~

#my nonsense #Dont Stand So Close To Me #Jonathan x Reader #Jonathan #Jonathan Joestar #jojo

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thedankfaerie · 4 years

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i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you.

and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself.

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time.

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive.

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’.

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once!

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately.

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class.

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point.

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore.

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us.

someone please help me.

#help #lol

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drabblesanddreams · 5 years

Note

Hi !i hope you enjoyed your vacation! Can you write a atsushi x blind reader and she falls in love with his voice and it kinda takes him a while to like her?

Hi! I did enjoy it thank you so much:) Sorry this piece took so long i was honestly kind of scared to write a disabled reader as i didnt want to fuck it up but at least i tried haah! Also i tried writing a reader who didnt work in the ADA which i hope worked out good, regardless thank you so much for your request, i hope it turned out to your liking though i did get carried away as its a little longer than usual…

Word count: 2.6k

Pairing: Atsushi x reader

TW: nothing

Summary: Basically u cant see much and atsushi is insecure cutie again

It was a long day ofworking and there was nothing that you wanted more to do then go to bed forwhat would seem like all of eternity, that’s how tired you are. Yawningslightly, you made your way up the stairs to your apartment with a relativeamount of ease.

Your body had already gotten familiar to the pathway to your livingspace, although you were partially blind. You had been partially blind yourwhole life, only being able to recognize the shifting of light and whatnotbehind your (e/c) eyes.

The familiarity of the routine encompassed a feeling ofserene comfort. All your life, you relished in the concept of order, everythinghad their place in the world and you greatly respected that notion. It onlymade living life a tad bit easier, with that belief you had clung onto.

As you continued toclimb the stairs, you briefly let go of the railing in order to place a handupon the wall, letting it travel upwards as you felt up the hard, stone surfacebeneath it.

You recognized the sudden shifting of light and realized that youwere at the top of the stairs now. Making haste, you walked the approximate numberof steps that you were familiar with in order to get to your door and unlockedit, before scurrying inside in and shutting the door behind you.

You briefly turned onthe light in order to recognize the area in which you should place yourbelongings and did so before making your way sleepily to your bedroom.

You didn’teven bother changing into your pajamas and instead just settled for strippingout of your work clothes so that you were in your undershirt and underwear.

Allin all it was kind of a shitty day, you thought as you settled into yourbed. See, you worked in a café that normally wasn’t this exhausting but todayit seemed as if you had received a greater number of either ignorant or rude customers.Accompanied by the fact that your manager asked you to stay back to close onlyirked you even more.

This had overthrown your routine and you were upset aboutit as you had most likely missed your favourite part of each day.

Unfortunately, youlied in bed feeling quite awake now.

Of course, that was until you heard it, hisvoice.

Smiling to yourself,you rolled over in bed until you were closer to the thin walls that separated youand your neighbor. You could clearly make out the mutterings and comments madeby your neighbor, Atsushi Nakajima.

Every night the poor boy would come backhome and spend half an hour or so speaking to someone, most likely over thephone, about the day’s mission he had to endure. It was always so entertainingto you, his whole life was an adventure to you, almost like a good book that hewould speak verbally out loud to. It always lulled you to bed ever since hefirst moved in.

From what you could gather, he was a recent employee of theArmed Detective Agency starting from a few months back.

This agency was right besidethe café that you worked at so you always managed to hear him there as well asin the mornings when both of you would greet each other a good morning.

You let your eyelidsfall shut as you homed in on his soft voice. Unlike the noisy sounds of thecity that so often gave you a headache, his voice was incredibly soothing andquiet.

It was always accompanied by gentle undertones as well which shocked youslightly at first as you couldn’t believe how someone could be that type ofkind.

His voice was almost to the point of melodic, the words that would takeform by his tones would spin into a plethora of stories and recounts that youyourself liked to listen to as you fell asleep.

Besides his voice, hehimself was a kind and gentle person. You had heard that way he had interactedwith his co-workers in your café, his undying patience in the antics of his,what you assumed to be, supervisor Dazai Osamu.

The interactions between thetwo never failed to make you chuckle as you would hide your amusement behindthe coffee machines.

Through all this, itwas no surprise that you fell in love with him.

Unfortunately, the feeling was not mutual as both of you were mere acquaintances.

But you werefine with this, as much as it pained your heart you accepted that not everyonein the world was lucky enough to be loved back by the person that theycherished close to their heart.

With this thought inmind, you let yourself quickly let yourself succumb to the sweet promise ofsleep with Atsushi’s voice in the background.

Hours later, yousnuggled into your comforter serenely, turning over and inhaling deeply. It hadbeen quite a while since you’ve been this well rested.

In fact… the mere notionof how well rested you were feeling was a tad bit suspicious.

Throughthe foggy haze clouding your mind, you shot up in bed as a shocking realizationshot through you. It seemed that you had been so exhausted the previous nightthat you had forgotten to set your alarm for the upcoming workday.

The possibility thatyou had slept in quickly caused your heart to speed up slightly in fear thatyou completely missed your shift. “Siri, what time is it?” you demanded as youdistressingly rolled out of bed.

“The time is 6:47 am” YourAI responded back in that calm, robotic annoyingly professional voice. A suddenbout of irritation shot up through your body, how could this stupid phone be socalm when you were here panicking the hell out, trying to find your belongings?

Shaking your head, you focused on the fact that you had 13 minutes to get to workand you had to scram!

You paced around the room, hands reaching out and patting every surface insearch of your work attire. Thank god you had memorized the layout of your flatotherwise you would surely be stumbling across every piece of furniture in yourwake. Okay, so maybe you were stumbling, but not as much as if you were in a completelyunfamiliar place.

Suddenly, your handsfound several articles of clothing and once you had identified them as yourwork clothes by running your fingers over the logo stamped on the shirt, youwasted no time in pulling them on before racing out the door.

Not so carefullysprinting across the living room, you grabbed your backpack from where you hadthrown it the previous night and pulled open the door.

Shutting the door behindyou, you turned the corner to the right in order to make it to the stairsbefore you collided with a taller, harder body.

The impact sent yousprawling to the ground and in return, you heard some of your belongings fromyour backpack crash as well. Oh my god, you thought Did I just make afool of myself?!.

“I-I am so sorry sir!”You hurriedly apologized as you dropped to your knees, quickly trying to searchfor your belongings so you could get the hell out of there in order to not be moreof an embarrassment.

“A-ah no it’s my fault,here let me help you,” the other body hastily said back, and you felt your bodygrow hot with the awful realization that you recognized this man’s voice. It wasyour neighbor, freaking Atsushi. It seemed that you had indeed made yourselfout to be an embarrassment. Crashing into your crush on a 7am morning wasnot how you wanted to make your first impression on said crush.

“You’re too kind, haha,thank you!” You anxiously said back as the both of you quickly gathered the itemsthat fell from your backpack. Once he had finished handing you your items, theboth of you stood up.

“I-I’m really sorry again, I didn’t see you there,” hesaid, the sound of him scratching the back of his head could be heard and youcould only smile at his nervous behavior. His antics were adorable if you hadto be quite honest.

“That’s alright Its kind of my fault, I was too much of ina rush to get to work to remember the layout of my surroundings,” you said backapologetically.

A brief pause followed before he cleared histhroat, “You can’t see?” he asked and you could only imagine the cute way hisfeatures would scrunch up, the widening of his beautifully coloured eyes,whatever colour they may be.

Shyness coursed through you as you nodded, youhoped this fact didn’t define you or change how he would possibly see you inthe future.

After all, you were more than your disability. You then explained, “I’vebeen visually impaired since I was a kid..b-but I can still see shadows and light,even movement.”

Another pause followedand you swallowed in anticipation of his reply.

“If it’s no trouble miss,please let me walk you to work to make it up for crashing into you!” Atsushi rapidlyoffered and your (e/c) widened. You felt your jaw drop slightly at hisproposition but before you could ask why, he answered for you, “I- you work atRen Café right? Near the ADA?”. You blinked at this; how did he know? Could hehave possibly remembered you from the small interactions you both shared?

“It’s just Dazai’salways talking about how good the coffee you make is which I guess is how I knowyou and its also on the way so it would be no problem.” He shyly explained andyou felt your cheeks heat up at this.

“A-alright,” youaccepted hesitantly and the both of you made your way down the stairs and outof the building, Atsushi kindly offering any assistance if you were in need.

Days turned intoweeks, and slowly this became a part of your routine.

More precisely, Atsushi kindly walking you towork before moving on forward to his own workplace. On those walks, not onlydid you learn more about Atsushi himself, you got to hear more of his voice.

Throughhis words, you learned about his special ability, about his work as a detective,how Dazai managed to do this, or how his other co-worker Kunikida managed to dothat. It was still as lovely to you as it was back then and only caused you tofall for him even more as you got to know him.

The slight low pitchof his voice grew increasingly more attractive to you with each passing day.

On this particular day,you opened the door of your apartment, “Good morning Atsushi-kun!” you greetedcheerfully, knowing full well that he would always be waiting for you on theother side of the door to walk to work.

“M-morning (Y/n)-chan!” he replied, andyou could basically sense the smile on his lips.

Shutting the door behind you,you looped your arm through his before rounding the corner like you would do everyother day. Humming, you let your stride fall into a small skip, unwillinglypulling Atsushi along with your movements.

“You seem like you’re in a good moodtoday,” he commented as the both of you made your way down the stairs. His armtightened around yours to ensure that you wouldn’t fall as you had done the daybefore.

Oh, how much you had laughed from the sheer embarrassment of it all ashe quickly fretted over you in clear worry.

“What?” you asked,feigning offense, “Am I not allowed to be happy?” you accused. Laughing at howhe stumbled over his words in an attempt to deny your words, you shook yourhead, “Just kidding!” you giggled.

“(y/N)-chan!” hewhined adorably at your teasing before quieting down, “(y/n)_chan..” he saidquietly. “Hm?” you hummed at the sudden change of tone.

“I-uh, are you evercurious to how I look?” he asked, and you blinked, turning your head to hisdirection silently probing for him to expand. “I mean, you know what I am.. I mean…the monster inside of me, but you still want to be my friend..” he hesitantly said,“What if…what if it’s only because you can’t see me, the person I could really be…”

You took in his words,confused for a moment before you realized. Something you had not known beforebefriending the detective was his incredible low level of self-confidence.

Itwas no secret how close the two of you had become recently, you even taking theinitiative to visit him at his workplace as he would do the same to yours.

Hemust have been blaming his current happiness of your friendship because you couldn’tsee, and thus was never witness to his transformation into his alter ego of thetiger.

Because of this unintentional avoidance of not seeing him at his worst, hemust think that I am in an ignorant position.

Huffing slightly, youfelt your growing irritation spike, “Atsushi, me being blind doesn’t haveanything to do with our friendship or my judgment of your character,” youstated annoyed, “I don’t need to see in order to know what you can become andthe fact that you even think that I need to see in the first place so that our friendshipcan have true meaning is frankly offensive” you furrowed your eyebrows angrily asyou placed your hands on your hips.

“A-ah Im sorry(y/n)-chan! I didn’t mean to insinuate… I just…” Atsushi trailed off andyou sighed, letting your arms fall.

Softly you took a few steps forward untilyou were sure you were much closer to him. “Atsushi, you know how I know you’rea good person aside from what you’ve told me?” you gently asked. “No, I don’t…”he whispered back.

“Your voice,” youstated.

“M-my voice…?” hestuttered out in confusion.

“Yes Atsushi, yourvoice,” you reaffirmed, “You speak in such a gentle manner, in a way that is socomforting and serene to the people around you, its so full of kindness andpatience and that is so rare to find in a world like this.”

“It paints me all thepictures ill never see which I’m fine with because I would honestly just have yourvoice then see any of the sights of the world…and I don’t know about youAtsushi but I don’t think anyone would describea monster like that” you continued to explain before letting the silencesink in as he took in your words.

Exhaling, you took a step forward and reachedfor his hand, intertwining it with your own. Tilting your head upwards, you leta sudden burst of confidence fill you as your nose brushed against his, “(Y/n)-chan”he stuttered out, but you never let him finish.

“Your voice is the most beautiful thing I’veever heard” you admitted in a shy whisper.

Where this confidence came from, youhad no idea, but he had to know how much of a good person he was, how he wasnot the monster so many people had previously tried to make him out to be.

Itseemed as even though you were blind, you could see things this man couldn’t.

“(Y/n)-chan…”he breathed out as you felt his hands caress the sides of your face. His foreheadrested upon yours before he whispered, “thank you” and then you felt his softlips claim yours.

#atsushi #atsushi nakajima #atsushi x reader #atsushi nakajima x reader #atsushi nakajima imagine #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd imagine #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs imagine #fanfiction #writing #request

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edenslostwallflower · 4 years

Text

romance headcanons

repost - don’t reblog

name: Leanna Katherin Tuesti nickname: Lee (said by close friends, at least they would if she had any friends) gender: female/gynoid romantic orientation: straight (possibly asexual cause of obvious reasons. or at least grey. demi-romantic? i’ve never actually put these kinda labels on her before..) preferred pet names: No one’s ever given her any but if she’s called anything by people she’s familiar with she doesn’t ask them to stop. That’s just their ‘thing’. Call her babe, doll, sweetie, honey, darling, she’s just ‘well I guess that’s my name to you now.’ relationship status: single and confused about everything favorite canon/fandom ship: (uhhhhhhh- i haven’t thought of any for her in ff7 so it’s free game) opinion on true love: ‘It must be a pretty important thing to make people make stupid decisions.’ (She’s not immune to stupid love based decisions) opinion on love at first sight: It happens.. allegedly. She knows there must be initial attraction on some level otherwise nothing else happens. She knows she fits the ‘standard’ physical attraction but doesn’t put much credit in it because it’s all superficial. how ‘romantic’ are they?: Her form of romance at first is very practical to the point of the other questioning if it’s actually a romantic gesture. It could also be classified as nearly non-existent. She knows people buy things for the one they like but she understands this as ‘they mentioned they needed a pen the other day, so I bought them a new pack of pens.’ She had the right idea but goes about it the wrong way until she has the ‘I saw this and thought of you so I bought it for you. I don’t know if you needed it or even wanted it though,’ instance. She doesn’t know how to let things happen naturally for a while and follows almost guideline routines whenever romance is involved. ideal physical traits: Clean-kept, possibly taller, nice (calming/soothing/smooth) voice, nothing specific regarding hair, skin, or eye color. ideal personality traits: Heart in the right place (even despite how they may act), understanding, compassionate, empathetic, intelligent, rough exterior/soft interior unattractive physical traits: conscious decision for slobbery appearance, unkempt. unattractive personality traits: misbehaving, short tempered, brash, uncaring for other people or things, arrogant to the point of self-centered/selfish, conscious decision to be mean ideal date: nothing fantastic this girl can be fine sitting in a park for a while. however if she has to plan the date she’ll once again over analyze everything. they can’t have dinner because she can’t eat so what would they do then? she knows her mannerisms and behavior are odd so going to a theme park would be dull because she wouldn’t react like other people and just.. yeah. do they have a type?: (i dont know i didnt think she’d get this far..) average relationship length: None so far. preferred non-sexual intimacy: Existing around one another without the facades. Let her be weird, let her try to figure herself out. Listen to her weird way of seeing the world and try to understand it through the eyes of a machine and don’t think any less of her for it. Have them sit and stargaze for a few hours or go on a walk and not one of them say a word to the other because comfortable silence is superb. Sharing things like pictures or items they thought the other would enjoy (ie sending them cat pics). Physical acts like holding hands, linking arms, playing with her hair, playing with their hair, tracing freckles on their body, hugging from the front, behind, or side are all 100% great. commitment level: Indefinite. Ask her to go steady, she will say yes, and that’ll be that until either they or she ends it. It can go on indefinitely (cause at first she’ll just be like ‘yes i am dating.’ and that’s it. it’s just a statement she’ll make one time and never touch on it again unless asked because she doesn’t know how to consciously act on it). It would be like a perpetual relationship of nothingness if other steps aren’t taken. || On the other hand, when she starts actually feeling genuine love she’ll do everything she can think of to stamp it out because how could love between a human and a machine ever go anywhere? Even if the feelings are obvious from both sides she’ll just deny, deny, deny. She can’t fathom it being a happy ending so the other person, and as a result she’d constantly try to stop any sort of romantic feelings even if she’s feeling ‘em up to 11. But once she understands that love is ok, again, it’s indefinite. opinion of public affection: Humans do it a lot so it must just be a thing hardwired into their mind. She doesn’t judge them for it, though risque behavior really should be kept behind closed doors. The most PDA she’d do is holding hands or casual hugging (ie they’re watching something and they hug her from behind and just stay that way). past relationships?: She’s gone on a few dates with some Shinra co-workers, but never more than one with each of them. If they can be considered a date. They ask her out for the evening, she says yes, and they realize her persona is the same outside the office and she immediately becomes less attractive to them (despite being very pretty physically). Awkwardness kills all her potential dates to the point they end on a puttering note or she just gets stood up. So she has had no relationships that have gone past that part.

Tagged by: @cavusvitae (TWO IN ONE DAY?? #blessed) Tagging: if anyone wants to do it idk steal it from me my brain is melting out of my nose i thought too hard. thinking big hard no more thinking. only coffee.

#;; android; ffvii verse #;;meme answer #i spent an hour on this just repeatidly going 'what does she like???'#'hecc i dont know'#'i didnt think id get this far so i never thought of anything..'

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imagine-loki · 5 years

Text

Mad Predictions

TITLE: Mad Predictions

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1

AUTHOR: inspired-snowflace

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: “A freedom restrained the sun shall invoke, The gift from the plea a mother spoke, Purpose shall be bestowed upon your life, In form of one you should have called wife, A lover presumed dead shall be back, Now shall you truly pay for your attack.”

Ever since the fortune teller had spilt these words, Loki’s life was thrown into a hurricane. He dared to hope that after the attack on New York and the following arrest, things would get better, but these words seemed to point in an opposite direction.

Things would never remain the same, for better or worse.

RATING: Everyone

NOTES/WARNINGS: Mentions of Amnesia (idk whether that requires warning)

While drinking your morning coffee, you made another futile attempt to remember your past. The only things that you knew about the life you had lived was your name and the cracks behind your head and then your head drew a blank. The cracks glowed a dull orange as if your brain was filled with an orange liquid which glowed through the cracks. However, they seemed to pain a bit today.

And of course, your powers. You could literally control life itself. You could heal most mortal injuries which would have easily killed people. But the better side of your powers didn’t hide the worse. You could pull souls from the bodies of people, killing people brutally. However, both were physically exhausting. The best you could explain was that they were like the battery of the phone- the more you used it, the more energy it drained. And if it ever hit 0% - dead. Unlike a phone, you can’t be revived.

You set your empty coffee mug down to gaze in the mirror. Somehow coffee landed last in your morning routine. Since you didn’t remember your age, the best estimate one could make was that you were 20, entering 21. However, you looked like you hadn’t aged a day since your first foot (atleast the one you remember) on Midgard. This made you the youngest Avenger. You smiled at the strange name of your family. Being the youngest, they looked after you by putting their own lives on the line and you gladly did the same.

You heard a soft knock on your door. You assumed it would be Steve asking you to join him for training. He entered after receiving your permission. Greetings and some brief talk was exchanged.

Then Steve said, “Y/N, Thor is coming back from Asgard today.” You grinned. You somehow felt very connected to the Captain and Thor. It felt as if they had been a part of the life you didn’t remember. The connection with Steve was on an emotional level. You knew that every problem you had could be shared with him. This also made Steve ideal to handle your seldom tantrums. Whereas, with the Asgardian, you felt more connected physically. You felt very secure around him. Indeed, this feeling was around others too, but with Thor it was taken to a whole new level. You knew Thor would lay a thousand corpses, including his own before letting a finger to touch you. You both shared the same tastes, the same love for pop tarts and the same choices for all things Midgard. Naturally, you had more affection for them both.

As if on cue, rainbow lights surged outside and you saw that Thor was not alone. You heard Steve mumble a soft “Oh no” under his breath. Without inquiring the reason or the identity of the man you rushed out to greet Thor.

You heard Tony grumbling and arguing about something with Thor but all stopped in your presence; even though Tony and the newcomer didnt see your face which was covered by Thor’s enormous body which completely encased yours in a bear hug.

“Oh! And that is Y/N, She is the youngest of us avengers. I don’t think you have seen her before. But do not even attempt to come closer than two feet towards her unless you wish to die the most gruesome death. If you do, then we would happily oblige without harm to her.” You heard the billionaire introduce you to the newcomer. And something told you that the last sentence wasn’t some friendly banter.

By the time you managed to escape from Thor’s hug, Stark had left mumbling about additional arrangements to JARVIS.

“Hey” you said to the newcomer before seeing his face.

Wait! Loki? “Oh.”

The guy who attacked New York? No. You decided not to judge him by his previous actions.

“I see you know me.” Loki said without even looking at your face.

Your eyes met and a sudden jolt went through your body landing straight at the bunch of cracks behind your head. “Ouch” You said touching the scar on your head, being caught off guard by the pain. You saw Loki staring at you and a whisper left his tongue “Y/N…”

By that time Thor came beside you and placed his hands on your shoulders before asking about your wellbeing.

“My scar hurts. It has been doing so since morning.” You tell him.

“Scar?” Loki said taking sudden interest in you. You turned back to show the glowing scar on your head. Loki seemed shock.

“Yes. I know. Cruel. This is the only memory I have of everything I have lived before the attack on New York.” You said with a smile. Loki gave you a confused look.

“Brother, the attack on New York is Y/N’s first memory. She remembers nothing that happened before the attack .” At that statement, Loki looked at Thor as if he was expecting his brother to punch him, but somehow Thor didn’t.

“Where were you during the war?” Loki questioned with a sense of urgency, as if worried for your wellbeing.

“Oh, well, somebody had to take care of the injuries of the civilians.”

“You look like you cant handle yourself and you were there to take care of civilians! Indeed, you will protect this measly planet of your with your fellow pathetic assassins.” Loki said disgustedly allowing his cold demeanour to take over. He shot you a look as if questioning your entire existence and as if you could have stopped the war of New York all by yourself.

You felt your blood boil and your scar glow. You were not one to get angered easily but the looks he shot you! The way he behaved! And most importantly, the way he talked about your family! “Listen up, kid! If you don’t wanna be nice or help, fine! But trust me when I say that I haven’t learnt to hate and wont hesitate to learn it for you!” You said stomping off.

A few minutes later you heard a knock on the door and you presumed that Thor had told Steve of your ordeal and he was here to calm you down. Without waiting, he entered and sat beside you on your bed.

“Y/N, ignore him. He is a jerk.”

“No.” was your firm reply.

“Pardon me?”

“No Steve. He is not a jerk. I felt something connect to him. Just like I felt with you or Thor, for that matter. But it was more deep. If I feel sympathy for you, I feel empathy for him. If I want you in my life, I need him. If I like you, I love him….”

Loki POV :

Loki sat in his room for hours just staring at the ceiling. Nothing different than what he was doing in the Asgardian prison. He recalled the lines of the fortune teller –“A lover presumed dead shall be back again.” It was not possible. You had died right in front of his eyes. And yet here you were, happy and pretending as if nothing had happened. But the truth- he had murdered you.

#Loki #Lover #Angst #God of Mischief #Others #Submitted fic #submission #mad predictions #chapter 1 #inspired-snowflace

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