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chaeryybomb · 3 years

Text

TRAITOR

pairings: female reader x lee heeseung

summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong

genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending

featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle

word count: 10.4k

warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language

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Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.

You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.

"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.

Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."

"Or I can drive to you," you replied.

He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.

You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.

Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.

The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.

Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.

Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.

"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.

"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.

"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.

"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,

"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."

"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"

Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.

"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.

"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."

"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.

You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.

"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.

Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.

"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.

The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.

Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.

You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.

"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.

"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.

"Love you too," you leaned back into him.

Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.

Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.

"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.

"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.

"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)

And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.

"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.

At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.

"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."

You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."

At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"

"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.

"I'm not going back during break."

And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.

Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."

Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"

Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."

"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.

As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.

You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.

A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.

"Y/N!"

"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.

"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.

"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.

Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.

You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.

Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.

Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.

[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what

[2:44 pm] chenle: what

[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess

[2:45 pm] chenle: no

[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us

[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s

[2:46 pm] chenle: n o

[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit

[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg

[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us

[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go

[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter

[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and

[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no

[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park

[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-

[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it

[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here

[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius

[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us

[2:56 pm] y/n: since when

[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin

[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression

i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(

[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure

[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(

[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is

[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS

[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then

[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me

[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME

[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!

You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.

Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.

Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.

Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.

After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.

You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.

The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.

You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.

What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?

Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.

And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?

You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.

"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"

You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.

Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.

Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?

Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.

"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.

"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.

"How was the amusement park?" He asked.

You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.

"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"

You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.

"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?

Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.

You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.

Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.

"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.

"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.

He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.

"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.

The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.

The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.

Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.

"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.

Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.

You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.

"I love you," you mumbled.

"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.

A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.

"I need to go pee, love."

"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.

"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.

You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.

"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.

You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.

[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!

"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?

No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.

"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.

"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.

"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.

"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"

"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.

You did not call him that night.

You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.

After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.

"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.

"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.

You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.

"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.

"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.

"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.

"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.

You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.

"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."

Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.

"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.

You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…

"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.

You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.

After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.

"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.

Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.

"What are you doing here?" You asked him.

"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."

At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.

"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".

And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?

Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.

"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.

You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.

"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.

And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.

Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.

"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.

Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."

"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.

His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

"Okay."

Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.

He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.

And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.

You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.

That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.

[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!

"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.

You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.

[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying??

While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.

You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.

"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.

You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.

"Hyewon," you answered.

Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.

You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.

Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"

"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."

"Ryujin!"

"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.

Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"

"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.

You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?

"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.

"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.

"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."

Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.

[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun

The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?

Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.

Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.

But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.

So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.

Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.

You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you. Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.

"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.

You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.

"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"

"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.

You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."

Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.

You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.

"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.

You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.

"No, you're mad," he said.

"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.

Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.

You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.

Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.

Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.

"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.

"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.

"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.

"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.

You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.

He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.

The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.

Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.

"What project?" You continued to ask more.

"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.

You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"

"Uh huh."

"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"

"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.

"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.

"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.

"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.

Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."

"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.

"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.

But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."

"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"

"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."

"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.

Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.

"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"

"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.

They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.

He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.

"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.

You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.

You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.

In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.

[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.

What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.

"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.

He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."

The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.

"Do you still love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.

Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."

And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,

Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.

Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.

"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.

Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.

Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.

"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?

But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.

"Oh," was all you could say.

Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.

Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.

"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.

"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.

The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.

God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.

a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!

#chaeryybomb; the sour series #enhypen #lee heeseung #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #enhypen angst #lee heeseung angst #heeseung angst #kpop imagines #enhypen scenarios #lee heeseung scenarios #heeseung scenarios

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passable-talent · 4 years

Note

Hi yes so I just finished the anakin punk au and it was uh perfect? And you should 100% please write more in that au it doesn’t even have to be in some coherent storyline, just more punk anakin please I am hooked

say no more my dear

I write this. and I think to myself “punks. they like weed. they drink. I should talk about that.”

and then I don’t. because I have a,,, responsibility to promote good health I guess?

don’t do drugs kids. most of them arent worth it i promise

and yes just like i mentioned wattpad in the last one tumblr is coming up on this one we’re breaking the FUCKING fourth wall

part one here

You passed out on his shoulder, exactly as he predicted, at about 2:00 AM.

He didn’t notice for a few minutes, and once he had, he had to make a very hard decision.

He knew you were leaving in the morning, you had other places to be. And he had to get home, Cliegg was going to be pissed he’d been out this late as it was. But- just like you, he never wanted the night to end.

At 2:15, he shimmied out from under you, finding your room key quickly. Once he’d slipped it into his pocket, he picked you up, carrying you all the way back to your room. The door seemed to scream as it opened, but none of the girls were awake. He laid you onto the only empty bed, leaving your room key on the dresser, and kneeled at your beside, for just a moment.

A night he wasn’t going to forget. One he wasn’t willing to leave behind.

He found the notepad left by the hotel for guests and its nearby pen, scribbling his phone number onto it before smacking it onto your room key so that he knew you’d see it.

He wasn’t taking any chances. He did everything he could to make sure that you were safe, that you’d sleep soundly, that he’d see you again. It was a bit of a walk back to where he’d left his car, at the venue, but it was worth it- he shrugged his jacket up around his neck against the cold and kept going, remembering how it’d felt to hold you.

But, in all of his kindness, he had made one mistake. You didn’t get to say goodbye.

You woke up in the hotel room the next morning, for a moment thinking that maybe you’d dreamed the whole thing. But then you realized you still had your shoes on, and you were laying on top of the sheets, why the hell would I do that, and you phone hadn’t been plugged in, and-

And there was a phone number on the dresser.

You weren’t really ‘dating’- you shouldn’t call it that. If you were going to call it that, then there would inevitably be a post on someone’s tumblr that you had a boyfriend, and who was he, where was he from, yada yada... that damn website already had half the internet convinced you were dating Padme, you didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire.

So no, you weren’t dating. But you were texting every day. You learned so much about him, about how he was raised by his mom and worked at her friend Watto’s auto shop, about his step-brother and future step-sister-in-law, how his mom died when he was nineteen, about how he’d tried to move to California with his friend Obi-Wan a few years ago, but it fell through. In return, you told him about your life- living in the outskirts of San Francisco, being pushed into ballet lessons as a kid (as he said- ‘that’s why you look weightless on stage!’), being cut out from your family for quitting college to pursue music.

You texted every day and every night, sent him videos from gigs, and he sent dumb little snapchats from underneath whatever car he was working on. You expected that to be it, probably for a long time- neither of you had the money nor the time to see each other more often. So you held onto the connection you had, the night you’d spent together.

And you thought that’d be it. But- the universe has a funny way of surprising you.

Your record label was based in LA, so you lived in Salta Ana, about thirty miles away, where the real estate was way cheaper. The band lived together, close as four friends could be, so they knew all about how you’d fallen for Anakin. Ahsoka would notice you glued to your phone, and ask snarkily “texting skyguy?” to which you always scolded her that his name was Skywalker.

Living so close to LA made it easy to do gigs at any venue that would take you- bars, clubs, a particularly anarchist biker hall. A bar- such was the case for tonight.

Like usual with a gig like this, Aayla had taken to instagram and called any fan in the area, so the bar was mostly filled with people who knew the music, but there were regulars, too. People who couldn’t be damned to listen to the lyrics, and just let the atmosphere move them.

The setlist changed, when you were at a place like this. You didn’t necessarily rely on the hundred voice chorus that you loved so much, and so couldn’t include some of those songs. Your music strayed a little more to the rock end of the spectrum, when you played in places like this. With that high energy came faster music, more running around the stage, more movement, but you weren’t tired, when the set ended at 11:25. You were more energized than usual, in fact.

“Pads, I’ve never heard you solo like that!” You said, a bright smile on your face as you pushed out of the employee entrance of the bar. She gave you thanks, but not a moment later stopped dead, not saying a word, staring at you. You paused, looking at her, then Ahsoka and Aayla, who’d both stopped, too.

“What?” Ahsoka and Aayla, though, were looking at something past you, which made you realize that Padme was, too. You turned, and leaning against the wall was- was Anakin.

“Oh my god,” you said under your breath, dropping into a run toward him immediately. “Anakin!” He shoved himself off of the wall, letting you run into his arms, and just held you. You pulled away to look at him, amazed that after months, here he was, right in front of you, real.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, bewildered, surprised, ecstatic.

“Visiting Obi-Wan,” he said, and he lifted his hand to your face, giving you a good look at that tattoo you hadn’t quite forgotten, dark lines reaching from his elbow to his palm.

“And you,” he added. You couldn’t help it- you hadn’t seen him in so long, you couldn’t help the way you leaned into it when he pulled you into a kiss, and this time you weren’t exhausted, and you could let yourself feel it, you could pay attention to his chapped lips and the way he slid them over yours, still soft, even after waiting in the cold. You never wanted to leave this moment, like so many of the others that you spent with him, his hands on your face keeping away the January air.

“Yeah, I’m heading home,” Ahsoka said, making you break the kiss. “Coming, or not?” You looked back at her with a bit of a glare, letting Anakin’s hands fall to your neck.

“You guys go ahead,” you said, checking your jacket pocket for the essentials- wallet, phone, house keys. “I think I have a tradition to uphold.”

The bar you’d played at tonight was a bit far away from the place you wanted to take Anakin, but you didn’t mind the walk, since it was with him. You’d been texting every day, and yet it felt different, there was so much more to talk about now.

Apparently, Anakin hadn’t seen Obi-Wan since he’d left to move to LA, so it was a visit to an old friend as much as it was an excuse to see you again.

“So you’re staying with him?” You asked, leading him by the arm down the street.

“Yeah,” he said, hooking his elbow into yours, which let him keep his hands in his pockets. “He’s got an apartment in east LA, it’s got a nice couch.”

“East LA, not bad. What’s he do?”

“He’s a talent manager, actually. Went to business school and everything.” Anakin paused, suppressing a chuckle. “He told me that he’d love to represent you, if you didn’t already have someone.”

“Sadly, we do,” you said, playful, “but I’ll keep him in mind.”

You’d pretend it was the winter chill that brought the flush to your cheeks- he’d told his friend about you. That had to mean you were important to him, right?

“Where are we heading, anyway?” He asked, and you, luckily, could channel your inner dramatic and turn toward the doorway you’d been heading toward all along.

“Right here,” you said, and you took him inside.

This was your recording studio- it was always open, so that any artist could stop in and get out whatever creativity they had. You showed your ID card to the lobby clerk, who approved it and called the elevator. Anakin followed your lead until the door closed, and just like you had on the night you met him, you pressed the button for the highest floor.

“This is one of the buildings for our record company,” you said, the elevator so familiar.

“Which would explain why he let you in,” Anakin said, a slight teasing tone to his voice. All you could do was chuckle, waiting for the elevator to reach the top floor.

From there, you lead him to a glass door, and swiped your ID card through a reader near its frame so you could step outside.

“This is the rooftop set,” you said, gesturing to the wide space, “It’s where we film a lot of music videos.” This close to the door, it was hard to see over the side of the building, and so you took Anakin’s hand.

“The city lights keep us from stargazing,” you said with a smile, and brought him to the guardrail at the edge of the roof. “So I thought I’d show you the city’s version of the night sky.” Looking out across the city, there were a thousand orange sparkles, windows illuminated in buildings stretching as far as the eye could see. Criss-crossed between them were lines of red and white, LA traffic clogging the city streets even so late at night.

No matter how many times you came up here, you’d never get tired of the view. Fifty-five stories up, there were other buildings that dwarfed this tower, but the west was free of them, so your view to the horizon was clear, even in the LA overcast.

“Wow,” he said, looking out over it all beside you. “I’ve never- I don’t think I’ve ever been up this high.” You fixed him with a surprised expression, leaning your elbows down onto the banister.

“No? Really?”

“I didn’t grow up in a city, like you,” he said, settling in beside you, his arm pressed to yours. You let your head rest onto his shoulder, remembering the night you met.

“I’m glad you came out to LA,” you said, “though I’m hoping you’ll stay a while. I want to go on an actual date with you.” You heard him exhale.

“You don’t call this a date?” he asked, and you lifted your head, looking at him, the lights of the city giving his face the slightest, golden glow.

“Well, I mean-” If this was a date, then so had been the one after the show, back in October. Which meant this was your second date, and you’d technically been ‘dating’ this whole time, which kinda made him your- boyfriend?

“Is it?” Anakin slipped his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together.

“This is better than any dinner and movie we could’ve gone to, I think.” He turned over your hand, tracing his first finger over the skyline tattoo that bisected your forearm. “Especially since it seems like this means a lot to you.” You couldn’t believe he’d noticed that tattoo- it meant he really was paying attention to you.

“Yeah,” you said with a smile, lifting your arm up, his hand still held in yours, aligning the tattoo with the skyline you were looking at. “I got this done after we did our first video.” Silently, he examined the ink and compared it to the sky, seeing what you meant.

“That’s really cool,” he said, bringing your hand back down, since his fingers were getting cold in the wind, and he had to assume yours were too.

“How long are you going to be in town?” You asked, resting your temple down onto his shoulder again.

“A week, or so. Watto says he needs me to work on a mustang that we’re getting- I think Cliegg told him to say that since he doesn’t want me in the city.”

“Well, I don’t want to undermine your dad,” you said, “But I wouldn’t complain if you stayed here a lot longer than that.” You ran your thumb over the back of his hand. “It’s really nice to actually have you with me, and not over the phone.” Anakin turned to kiss the top of your head.

“Tell me about it. It’s worse for me, I promise- I listen to your music all the time, and it just makes me want to see you.”

“Sometimes I forget that you were once just a fan,” you said with a laugh, “listening to our music.”

“The luckiest one in the world,” Anakin added, and you almost wondered how you’d ever lived without him.

You let a moment pass, in silence.

“I’m twenty five,” you started, wondering if you had the courage to finish, “do you think I’m too young to be in love?” Anakin didn’t respond, at first. He turned to you, lifting his furthest hand to your face, making you look up at him. You could never get over those blue eyes- you’d forgotten how intense they were.

“I guess it depends on the guy,” Anakin said, his teeth quickly catching his lower lip. “Do you think you are?” You reached up past his arm to his face, your first finger tracing his eyebrow before your palm came to rest on the ridge of his cheekbone.

“No,” you said, and you rushed forward to meet his lips.

-🦌 Roe

#reader insert #imagines #anakin x reader insert #star wars anakin #anakin imagine #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker #punk!anakin #singer!reader #modern au #musician au #star wars #fics

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wintaejk · 4 years

Text

Jungkook’s FIC REC | OS 1

Because I spend a lot of time here on tumblr reading fanfictions, I wanted to create my own fic recs. Like that, I can recommend fictions that deserve more recognition and at the same time, if I want to reread one of them, I just have to come here.

Everything on this list is about Jungkook. And of course, all those works have been written by the authors I tagged next to the name of the fictions, they do not belong to me (and if the authors want me to remove their work from my rec, I will).

I also want to thank the authors. I really appreciate all your works and efforts to create all those beautiful stories. I send you all of my love.

(f) = fluff

(a) = angst

(m) = mature

Stories will be sorted by length, by theme, and for the series, by progression (complete or uncomplete).

college au

— Poison (F) (A) — by @byeoltoyuki

You can’t decide whenever you hated or loved Jungkook. Either way you couldn’t say no to him.

college au | enemies to lovers | +3k

— One more night (F) (A) (M) — by @byeoltoyuki

In which when Jimin told you to have fun, he didn’t exactly mean to bang his friend.

college au | enemies to lovers | +12k

— Blue Raspberry (F) — by @strawbxxymilk

Jungkook asks you to live life on the wild side.

college au | enemies to lovers | -1k

— Soulmate Culture (F) (M) —

Part II of Blue Raspberry.

college au | enemies to lovers | +2k

— flick or treat (M) — by @junqkook

You hate jeon jungkook with every fiber of your being; but arousal doesn’t discriminate between like and dislike.

college au | enemies to lovers | fratboy!jungkook | +3k

— 50% Cotton (F) (M) — by @perpetually-jungshook

ShyKook. You keep “accidentally” borrowing Jungkook’s jacket until one day he shows up to retrieve it.

college au | friends to lovers | +6k

— 50% Polyester (M) (F) —

Shy boy Jungkook is ready for his first time. Kind of. Sequel to 50% Cotton.

college au | friends to lovers | +5k

— Set On You (F) (M) — by @bymoonchild

Sports has never been your thing, so when you find yourself in a sports hall that reeks of perspiration and cologne and in front of a group of volleyball players whom you’re supposed to be managing (heck, you can’t even manage your own life), you know that you’re in Deep Shit™. Especially when Jeon Jungkook, the golden setter of the team aka the boy who holds stars in his eyes, starts to occupy your reveries, slowly becoming both the quiet and pandemonium of your heart.

college au | volleyball au | +18k

— Play Pretend (M) (A) — by @seokoloqy

Walking under ladders, splitting the pole, breaking mirrors, going near black cats—just to name a few things Jeon Jungkook doesn’t do before his soccer games.

And after Jungkook catches his girlfriend cheating on him, he’s going to need a little more than luck to get her back. He needs you.

college au | fake dating au | friends to lover | soccer player!jungkook | +8k

— Click, Click (M) — by @seokoloqy

Who knew someone else’s dick pic would get Jungkook his first blowjob?

college au | friends to lovers au | virgin!jk | +2k

— Teasing (M) — by @letspurpletogether

The one where your study partner is just too cute you can’t resist teasing him.

college au | inexperienced partner!jungkook | +3k

— Curiosity (F) (M) — by @hobidreams

When innocent Jungkook comes to you with a not-so-innocent question… you decide it’s easier to just demonstrate.

college au | best friend’s brother!jungkook | +3k

— Stay Quiet (F) (M) — by @hobidreams

You think the library is only a place for studying, Jungkook convinces you otherwise.

college au | established relationship au | +2k

— Will You Make a Mess Now? (F) (M) — by @softyoongiionly

Jungkook’s never been touched before and, after a hectic end to his semester, he thinks he wants that to change…

college au | established relationship au | virgin!jungkook | +4k

— Can I Make a Mess Now? (F) (M) —

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

college au | established relationship au | virgin!jungkook | +4k

— i wished i missed my ex (F) (A) (M) — by @angelguk

College was hard enough without having a crazy ex on your back too. At least you weren’t the only one with that problem. Jeon Jeongguk, your best friend had a girl chasing after him too. You didn’t think your problems were intertwined, until Jeongguk comes up with the solution to solve them both at once. Two birds with one stone. Easy enough. Until the stone hits your heart too.

college au | friends to lovers au | fake dating au | 18k

— in your arms tonight (M) — by @angelguk

Late nights with Jeongguk end in great sex and love confessions (or the one where he has a thing for you in his clothes).

college au | established relationship au | domestic au | +5k

— if i told you (F) (A) — by @gukyi

In order to pay for university, Jeon Jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. Donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. All while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him.

college au | friends to lovers au | 22k

— Worth the Wait (F) (A) (M) — by @sketchguk

You have an unwritten rule about swearing off relationships to pursue your studies, but your willpower wavers when you meet Jeongguk, the barista with commitment issues and a soft spot just for you.

college au | barista!jungkook | strangers to friends to lovers | +13k

— Daydream (F) (A) (M) — by @luffles424

You never thought that simply waking up your best friend would lead to something more.

college au | best friends to lovers | +7k

— Hold You Tighter (F) — by @gukwluv

Jeongguk doesn’t want to take Taehyung’s advice, but when he’s falling asleep in class, he think he might have to. Although he was not expecting the pretty girl that woke him up in said class, to be the one that Taehyung calls for help ; alternatively Jeongguk loves cuddling and you just happen to as well.

college au | strangers to lovers au | cuddle buddy au | +5k

— soft touch (M) — by @minnpd

Jungkook needs to practice a massage on you before his final exam.

college au | friends to lovers | massage therapist!jungkook | +3k

— you are in love (F) (M) — by @diortae

You recount the last six months of your relationship with jeongguk. Alternatively, “you are in love” by taylor swift in fanfic form.

college au | established relationship | +4k

— an abundance of mondays (F) (A) (M) — by @diortae

“why the fuck would it be easy? you’re disgustingly in love with your best friend. of course it’s complicated.” he pauses to roll his eyes, as if he hasn’t just laid out the most secret parts of you here in the middle of the campus dining hall.

alternatively, it’s an old cliche, falling in love with your best friend. it’s a shame none of the stories ever told you it would feel like this.

college au | childhood friends to lovers | 15k

— Ace (F) (A) (M) — by @hijoonie

Jungkook only cares about three things: Baseball, painting and his team, but soon he’s adding you to that list when love comes flying at him fast and hard, knocking him right on his ass.

college au | baseball au | athlete!jungkook | artist!jungkook | +24k

— one time, in your room (F) (M) — by @ubemango

There are papers to write, and virgins to daydream about. (You can think about Jeongguk’s dick later.)

college au established relationship +17k

prequels: fingering - the game update - wake up! sequels: hitting it from the back - with a Hitachi wand - overstimulation

roommate au

— Euphoria (F) (A) (M) — by @seokstrivia

There was always a sign on Jungkooks’ door that said something along the lines of, ‘Warning; I am naked in here. Do not enter unless you’re ready to see a whole lot of dick.’

or, that one roommate au where Jungkook is a cocky bastard.

roommate au | enemies to lovers | +7k

— Microwave (Mis)adventures (F) (A) (M) — by @bymoonchild

Out of all things to be afraid of, Jungkook, the seat-stealer of your 8am class and annoying housemate whom you despise with every fiber of your being, chooses to have a phobia of microwaves, but he loves buying microwaveable food – because come on, they’re irresistible – and you somehow find yourself getting dragged into his microwaves (mis)adventures. Cue chaos, sarcasm-laced banter and an unplanned romance.

roommate au | college au | enemies to lovers | 20k

— heartbreak trials (A) (M) — by @dreamyjoons

It all started with a bet: the one with the highest body count would get the most illustrious prize - Namjoon’s bedroom. For you and Jungkook, the race was on.

roommate au | enemies to lovers | +13k

— Itch (F) (M) — by @ironicarmy

During a study session, your roommate Jungkook becomes hell-bent in showing you a good time – especially after discovering you’ve never been touched.

roommate au | college au | friends to lovers | virgin!reader | +8k

— Piss Off Your Parents (F) (A) (M) — by @littlemisskookie

In an effort to piss off your parents you move in with their worst nightmare- a boy with tattoos, a rock band, and an irresistible charm.

roommate au | fake dating | bad boy!jungkook | +16k

Commentary - This story is for me a must-read for more than one reason. Let’s begin with maybe badboy!jungkook? Yes, we all love a good tattooed, badass jk, but as much as I can remember, this is the first time badboy jungkook is approached like that. Jungkook has all the attire of the baddie, but not the behavior that usually goes with it. We discover a bad boy that respect people, that is not fucking around like a horndog, and who doesn’t to stick his stick in any and every hole he finds. This is very refreshing and pleasant. Also, I want to take a moment to appreciate fully the way the dialogues are written. I particularly enjoyed them while reading the fiction. Why? I don’t really know… Was it the repartee of the two main characters? The analyze of the world they live in? The constant flirt and the slow burn? Or even the style in itself? Honestly, it’s probably a mix of all of that. Finally, let’s say this fiction is smartly emphasizing and kind of fighting all the clichés we can find in fanfictions. And what is best to fight cliché than writing one yourself? Yes, this fiction is definitely a must-read!

— Somnolent (F) — by @forgottenpasta

After spending one night in bed with you, Jeongguk finds out he is unable to sleep unless you’re sleeping with him.

roommate au | friends to lovers | +3k

— Laundry Day (M) — by @jinjikook

jeongguk always pioneered one household chore: laundry. now why he had such an affinity for it, you had no idea. that is, until you come home and he lost track of time, causing you to stumble upon him in the midst of something strange and yet altogether intriguing.

roommate au | domestic au | 5k

— Blizzard (F) (M) — by @curly-bangtan

When a blizzard hits your town, you and your shy awkward roommate are forced to spend time together, not being able to leave the house due to the strong snowstorm. To make matters worse, the power gets cut in the middle of his shower. Which also means no heating.

roommate au | domestic au | strangers to lovers | virgin!reader | +15k

— Blizzard : let it snow (F) —

It’s holiday season, and you have yet to disclose your new romance with Jungkook to the rest of your friends. But during your traditional Christmas gathering night filled with food, Love Actually and mistletoe, each of the six of them discover your secret relationship with your shy roommate one by one in ways that you dread…

roommate au | domestic au | established relationship | +8k

— threats and paybacks (M) — by @pantaemonium

Jeon Jungkook. Art major in the University of Seoul. Passive-aggressive little shit and gamer extraordinaire.

It was that person—that phenomenal specimen of a human—the one you shared a tiny apartment with. No one hated Jeon Jungkook, no one in the entire planet could ever do, for he was lovely all around. You did not hate him. That was not it. The one and only problem Jeon Jungkook presented was that he was a terrible roommate, and that bowl of cereal was the last straw.

roommate au | college au | 14k

neighbors au

— not quite strangers (F) (A) (M) — by @seokwaves

there are two things that you very much hate in this world; first being woken up in the evening, second being woken up in the morning – and jeon jeongguk, the stranger a.k.a the guy who lives across your shitty apartment does just that, every single fucking time.

neighbors au | +19k

— neighbors (M) — by @btssmutgalore

When your hands are full, a cute neighbor lends a helping hand.

nighbors au | +6k

— sugar coated (F) (M) — by @guksheart

jeon jungkook, aspiring singer, works at a bakery with nothing but cupcakes and satisfied customers to occupy his time. one day, his next-door neighbor strolls into the shop with tears in her eyes, and his heart cannot help but worry why.

neighbors au | bakery au | +10k

— the underwear thief (F) (M) — by @gukyi

jeon jungkook would like to make one thing very clear: it’s not his fault.

neighbors au | strangers to lovers | 10k

— FEELS LIKE SUMMER (F) (A) (M) — by @badbhye

You only have one question on your mind this summer: when did Jeon Jungkook get abs?

neighbors au | borither’s best friend | +16k

friends to lovers

— Frost Impressions (F) (A) (M) — by @fortunexkookie

Granny Park’s Gossip:

Now, don’t start thinking anything about Jeon. He’s a good boy, of course, my sweet Jimin wouldn’t be friends with anything less, and he’s a damned good P.E. teacher, but he’s a rapscallion if I’ve ever seen one. Always putting his foot in his mouth in one way or another. My lovely grandson already told me about how he’s offended that new math and science teacher down at the school, you know the one, got hired as a replacement when they fired the last one? Yes, her. And Jiminie told me that Jeongguk’s been avoiding her ever since, the hellion. You just gotta shake your head at behavior like that.

Alternative Summary: Jeongguk is so disgustingly smitten with his new coworker that he ends up making a terrible first impression, and neither of them realize they’ve actually been in love with each other for the better part of a decade.

teacher au | gamer au | friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | +41k

Commentary - I put this fiction in the ‘friends to lovers’ section, but I could have placed in so many others. Because literally, this fiction has it all. First of all, the best friend to lovers au coupled with a gamer au and internet friends au. Honestly, just that should be enough for you to go read it. But in the case you need more, I can also talk about that teacher au. That enemies to lovers au. You will find shy and embarrassed Jungkook. And the humor. The humor. The humor. Yes, this fiction is smart. And funny. I think this is honestly one of the funniest fiction ever. I don’t remember ever laughing so much while reading a fiction. This is truly the kind of stories that will make a rough day a little lighter. And it is even better when you read it in your bed at 1am. So yes, you should 100% read it. And if you want more or need more when you are done, you also can go read Ryn’s other fics or the other stories of The Snowball Effect.

— in between blurred lines (F) (A) (M) — by @seokwaves

Jeon Jeongguk has been your bestfriend ever since you were fetuses—no, that’s kind of weird (but you get the point)—and you were there with each other as you slowly discovered the (not so) wonders of the world. Your bestfriendship is cool; you cuddle a lot, you have movie nights whenever you’re free, you let him poop while you’re showering and he does the same. For almost two decades of friendship, you only ever think of him as the child you’ve raised ever since elementary until Taehyung said that Jeongguk had a crush on you since you were 11. Uh oh.

best friends to lovers | college au | 20k

— jasmine (M) — by @btssmutgalore

Jungkook always tries to hide his crush on you, but unfortunately, he can’t control what happens while he’s sleeping.

friends to lovers | 12k

— Ruin the Friendship (M) — by @kpopfanfictrash

your drunk ass best friend keeps calling you to take care of him and it wouldn’t be so awful, if it weren’t for The Feelings.

best friends to lovers | college au | +8k

— Over the Edge (M) —

so, you’re dating. everything is dandy, the sex is knocking your socks off, but what happens when you get in the First Real Fight?

established relationship | sequel to Ruin the Friendship | +9k

— the best part of me is you (F) (A) (M) — by @yourdelights

Having been best friends since childhood, you’re an expert in all things Jungkook. You know everything about him, from how he took his coffee to the sound of his laugh after a successful prank. There was no part of him that you didn’t know like the back of your hand, or so you thought. Your view on things gets a bit skewed after discovering the one secret Jungkook had kept from you: he’s a camboy.

best friends to lovers | camboy!jungkook | 9k

— A Happy Accident (M) — by @taetaesbaebaepsae

You accidentally send nudes meant for your friend with benefits Hoseok to Jungkook.

friends to lovers | college au | +2k

— Something in the Water (F) (M) — by @vankoya

Sleeping in is a foreign concept to Kim Taehyung and his awkward, mismatched gang of pals. This is made all the more apparent when they rock up at ___’s doorstep at the ass crack of dawn, as if it is a natural time for any college student to be awake.

But when she is informed that it was the youngest of their group who insisted she join them on their spontaneous camping trip, she is suddenly not as reluctant to play along than when she was first awakened by her enigma of a best friend, slamming his fist against her front door.

friends to lovers | camping au | college au | +25k

established relationship au

— Lollipop (M) — by @btssmutgalore

“I’ll eat it however I want to,” you smirked at him, but he was still trying to pretend he wasn’t paying attention to you. “What are you gonna do about it?”

established relationship | +1k

— bare necessities (F) (M) — by @gguksgalaxy

“When you ask your boyfriend for a relaxing vacation you don’t exactly expect him to take you to Disneyland out of all places. Luckily, Jungkook knows just how to get you to relax — being needy is definitely not the way. Or is it…”

established relationship | +11k

— Concealed Weapons (M) — by @gimmesumsuga

Jungkook turns out not to be quite who you thought he was, and your reaction takes you both by surprise.

marriage au | mafia au | 10k

— Movie Night (F) (M) — by @btsaudge

Jungkook tells you about his kinks during movie night.

established relationship | slice of lice | -1k

— it’s a stick up (F) (M) — by @sweetheartjeongguk

maybe jungkook shouldn’t accept help from taehyung anymore, especially in the form of “magical boner pills”.

established relationship | +4k

— second to none (M) — by @minnpd

He went silent as his undivided attention is geared toward the box. The unmistakable sound of cardboard ripping made you roll your eyes at his impatience. Whatever was inside was rattling around haphazardly and you were about to scold his carelessness when his sudden silence threw you for a loop. You poke your head above the countertop and what you see has your stomach dropping.

established relationship | +5k

— Sanctified (F) (A) (M) — by @mikroparadise

Jungkook’s been away on tour, and you’ve really missed him. But when you try to show him just how much, he doesn’t reciprocate the way you’d like, and it makes you question whether the problem is you.

established relationship | rockstar!jungkook | +12k

— low libido jk drabble (M) — by @hobiwonder

imagine dealing with low libido jungkook bc he’s been stressed about exams or smth.

established relationship | college au

idol au

— Rejection (A) (M) — by @jjungkookislife

Going out to a club with your friends from BTS wasn’t supposed to end up with you admitting your feelings for Jungkook.

idol au | friends to lovers | +9k

— (1) Missed Call (M) — by @seokoloqy

He never has time to pick up his phone while on tour, so you leave him innocent voicemails instead. But, when did your mundane voicemails suddenly get so interesting?

idol au | established relationship | +1k

— take my hand (F) (A) — by @cupofteaguk

in which you lose your memory in a car crash, and Jungkook desperately tries to keep both of your lives intertwined. this in itself proves to be a challenge, especially when you can only remember him as the idol you once adored from afar.

idol au | (ex) established relationship | 11k

— Turned Around (F) — by @worldwidebt7

The work you did for the magazine production company you were employed by often had you running circles about the building to please them. However, during one such time, you are surprised to find a very handsome, very lost-looking Korean idol wandering about…

idol au | +10k

hybrid au

— Under the Bridge (F) (A) (M) — by @jincherie

Your life takes a turn for the better one night when you find a bun under the bridge.

hybrid au | bunny!jungkook | +10k

— bedroom kitten (M) — by @kookswife

“you’re only mine now”

hybrid au | cat!reader | +6k

— Cardboard Castle (F) (M) — by @kittae

Moving in together tends to trigger stress-induced arguments, that’s not a secret. When the tension runs high in not the best ways possible during the setup of your new Ikea bed, your feline boyfriend copes by making a fort from empty cardboard moving boxes. All sorrows are less with a movie and popsicles!

hybrid au | established relationship | cat!jungkook | +6k

— Hopping Mad For You (F) (M) — by @readyplayerhobi

For two years you’ve lived with your rabbit hybrid roommate, Jungkook. He’s been a model roommate and you’ve found yourself with little complaints. But his behaviour lately has been a little…unusual.

hybrid au | roommate au | rabbit!jungkook | +9k

soulmate au

— the violet hour (F) (A) — by @guksheart

in a world where a mark completes itself when you are introduced to the love of your life, jeon jungkook is convinced that he is fated to die alone. here’s a hint, though - he’s wrong.

soulmate au | +6k

— Bells (F) — by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Jungkook gets tinnitus around the same time he gets a big crush on you, and it turns out it’s related.

soulmate au | idol au | +1k

#fic rec #jungkook fic rec #bts fic rec #jeon jungkook #fic rec part 1

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btawizzle · 3 years

Text

Guide to : Essentials Career Path in A nutshell

What makes the most sense to you right now for your career development? Since I’m taking a Journalism major in Uni, I really think that the most sense decision I’ve ever thought about ( right now) is being a journalist and a screenwriter. It may sound silly, “you’re a Journalism major, of course you’re going to be a journalist”, but I seriously have many other things in mind when it comes to my job ( I really wanna be in a rock band, you know. I can play the bass or be the front man, but yeah )

And the things I have to do to develop my career will be everything that is related to writing. I can write fiction, children's books, essays, travel and beauty blogs, or maybe write a news/article. Looking forward to it~

What will complement your interests, skill set and the lifestyle that you want to have?

P-r-a-c-t-i-c-e

Okay, since I really want to have an extra boujee-parisian-lifestyle, I really have to work my *ss off. I honestly have many interests in things that’ll make money such as building a business, baking, drawing and also writing, but sometimes I just have 0 interest in practicing them. ( I guess i really have to) but for the things that I’m excellent at and don't really need a polish, that’ll be public speaking and it applies for any speaking related matters, like storytelling, and also speech ( If I have the material, too lazy to do the research)

I really want to work in entertainment, being a screenwriter and producing some work there, being a news anchor or PD at a radio maybe? but then if I finally knocked some sense into me, I guess i want to be a lecturer in a university that writes cool scenarios for their drama club and bake when bored

What do you find to be the most compelling thing to explore at this moment in time?

Honestly, figuring out what I want to do with my life. Maybe practicing some of my hobbies that I wish has a relation with my future career,like how digital video and design are supposed to work (whole adobe thingy), how to write an article/novel/blog/essays, coding? The most complicated thing I know on earth, that I wish I could just understand in a blink and also think about what I am going to do if I want to move to france.

The path you choose to follow will help you develop your career and achieve your ideal job. Therefore, it’s important to explore the different approaches available before you begin. In the next step, you will start to look at some of these approaches.

Do you already have an idea of what your ideal job is?

I really think that the idea of an ideal job is something that gives you enough money to live but not really draining you out of energy. I mean, if you’re that busy you never get the fun anymore in those jobs, the money , it has to be worth the energy that you drained, you know.

People often talk about how your passion should be your source of money blah blah blah, but sometimes, we just don't get the fun anymore if everyone pushes us to make enough money for living everytime we do what is called our passion.

I’m thinking about being a teacher with ok money and then do my hobby/dreams as the side hustle ( you know, if i’m not pass out because m’too tired), that’s my ideal job

But if we’re talking about dream jobs? Oh how I just want to be in a rock band and do gigs until the day I die, or maybe marry Damiano David from Maneskin and become a housewife? Yeah, sounds good.

What do you think the path to it looks like?

Before we finally become a lecturer, we have to-at least- have a master degree. So, because it’s 21th century and the school tuition is not cheap, I plan to take a scholarship, and hopefully I can go to europe.

I plan to be the best at uni, not that ambitious, but just to make sure I graduate on time. Until then, I plan to do my best as a uni student, like joining some organisation , doing some internship, and obviously practicing my writing abilities. I plan to find a part time job that is related to journalism ( applying to a magazine/online zine/newspaper) or something like that really, anything ( photographer, make up artist for newbie models) and keep a little amount of money for future me.

After that, I’m going to take a B1 placement test on my german, and then maybe korean/french? And of course, IELTS so i can go to europeeee for my master studies

Ok then after uni, i want to work at a magazine while I’m applying to those scholarship studies. Ok then I got the scholarship, quit the job, went to Europe having my studies and living my best life. Hopefully I will be able to still work there and get my PR maybe? And then do literally what I want. Lecturing maybe, or get a job on some movie production ? become their screenwriter. yeah

Have you previously considered that there might be different approaches to your career path? Or is this a new concept for you?

Yes, and I am super open to it. I’m just going to try my best and the rest is not in my hands. Whatever happens later in the future, that’s what my work pays off, or that’s just what god wants me to have in my life. I’ll accept it with open heart ( hopefully)

#I really want to be rich and happy.

Before you explore these further, there are a few key areas you need to keep in mind:📷

Career goals

Knowledge

Skills

Personal characteristics

Experience

In order to start on the career path you want for yourself, you need to make a plan about what you’re missing in each of these areas and what you need to acquire. Identifying purpose or focus in this way is called ‘ikigai’ in Japanese. You can read more about ikigai by visiting the links in the See Also section.

Whichever approach you choose to develop your career, these are areas you will need to focus on to see what could be further developed as you build your career.

Now let’s explore five different approaches:

1. Matrix

The matrix approach is about having skill sets in different areas and bringing them together to create a profile that is distinct to you. You may have a variety of interests you want to pursue. With the matrix approach, you can explore how to combine these interests into a role which is unique to you.

For example, someone who would like to study web programming, as well as design, could look to combine these interests and become a web developer for any company or organisation with an online presence.

2. Ladder

The ladder approach is better suited for those who know exactly what career or job role they want. They have a dream job in mind or a dream company they wish to work for, so they’re willing to work their way up the ladder to get there.

For the person that aspires to work in television, that might mean starting out as a runner on set. They may then work their way up to get a role as a director or an executive producer, or whatever that ideal role might be.

3. Entrepreneurial

The entrepreneurial approach is about turning an idea into a business and learning along the way. You apply your current skill set whilst rapidly growing your capacity in all areas of business. It takes a lot of work, patience and courage, but can be deeply rewarding for anyone who finds this path to be of interest.

4. Network

The network approach is geared around building a network of contacts that will be mutually beneficial. For example, if you were at a tech networking event and you met a few founders, this would be a great opportunity for you.

What is key in the network approach is to ensure that you’ve thought through what you can offer someone, so that it’s a mutually beneficial and authentic relationship.

5. Portfolio

Creating a portfolio might be more commonly associated with jobs in photography or graphic design. However, it is both relevant and necessary across many disciplines. Many employers will want and need to have an idea of the type of work you can do, so the portfolio approach is a great way for you to demonstrate your skills.

If someone were looking to build a career in public relations, for example, they would be at an advantage if they had a portfolio of their previous coverage. This highlights not just their contacts but what type of work they are capable of doing.

A portfolio is just as valuable a commodity as your CV, so you should build one in line with the career you are interested in pursuing. It is also a great way to share your work and skills with people beyond a job application. For example, you could add it to your LinkedIn page, website or any other medium.

Summary

Choosing the best approach for your career is an essential component of your lifelong career development. There’s no guidebook or master plan for building your career. You can take a sabbatical, be a stay-at-home parent, or even move down a position.

The important thing to remember is that your approach is your own. If you find that multiple approaches like those mentioned above appeal to you, find a way to combine those to take the right approach for you.

Share your experience:

Have you already been using any of the approaches mentioned in this step?

Can you find any examples of other approaches for developing your career? Not for this moment, but I’ll definitely go with Matrix combined with a portfolio approach. I am building my portfolio in tumblr, wix and wordpress.

Why not have a go at exploring a few of these approaches further? I wish to explore more and I will do it thx.cash

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iwillalwaysbelemillion · 4 years

Text

Nothing to Complain About

When Jirou and the rest of the bakusquad visit the spring festival, Jirou has her eyes out for a face painting station. Remembering the butterflies she used to get on her cheek as a child, she looks at the festival as a way to return to a less stressful time. She doesn’t expect Kaminari to take up so much of her attention, and she really doesn’t expect the way he looks at her.

Ao3

Chapter

Life used to be way less chaotic.

Five year old Jirou never had to worry about spontaneous villain attacks, harsh school exams, or worse of all, the weird “electro tape coffee trick” Sero and Kaminari invented. She remembers skipping alongside her parents at a local festival, her small hand grasping her father’s pinkie as they walked from booth to booth. Unrestricted by anxiety or fear, her greatest concern was deciding which color butterfly the face painter should brush on her cheek.

Even so, she recognizes how amazing her current life is; studying at a prestigious school and pursuing the career of her dreams is nothing to complain about. And along the way she’d gained a group of friends who always had her back. Friends who she would trust, and has trusted, with her life.

Which was why it is so annoying that said friends would not stop arguing over what to visit next.

“Come on you guys, let’s ride the coaster one more time!”

“Kaminari, with the level of sugar in your stomach right now, you will throw up on that ride.”

“Ouch Mina! Have you no confidence in my puke-holding abilities?”

“ . . . ”

“Ok but I think we should play darts.”

“Sero we can play darts back at the dorms, that’s a terrible idea.”

“It’s still better than yours.”

“What about you, Jirou, what do you want to do?” Kirishima asks, as all eyes turn towards her.

“Yeah,” Mina chimes in, “you haven’t asked to do anything today.”

“Well . . . ”Jirou looks at the ground, fiddling with her right ear phone jack. She had let her friends take the lead, caring less about what she did and more about who she did it with. That being said . . .

“Since none of you morons can agree on anything, why don’t we just walk around and explore?” She’s almost finished her sentence when a small boy and his dads stroll past, matching dragons painted on their beaming cheeks. Jirou can’t help but smile to herself, and before she knows it she suggests, “I’d kind of like to find a face painting booth.”

“Painting? Aren’t you more into music?” Sero jokes, “after all, it’s not like we formed a painting group last spring, we had a band, and a pretty cool one at that.”

Jirou looks up from the floor and rolls her eyes. “We’re not the ones doing the painting, dumbass,” she snaps back. Her mind wanders to the previous spring festival. She had been so nervous to perform, but as soon as she started singing, her anxieties washed away and she had a blast. She was proud of that performance, although to this day could still not understand how she managed to teach everyone the music in time. “I don’t know, I just thought it would be fun.”

Kaminari steps forward, a piece of bright pink wata-ame somehow nestled in his messy hair. “I think that’s a great idea, Jirou!” He beams, smirking before continuing on, “especially since I’ll be fine to ride the coaster again by the time we’re done walking.”

“Dude you do not have to ride it so many times.”

“Kaminari I swear to god”

“Come on man!”

Despite various protests about why Kaminari agreed, the rest of the group also gets on board. As they set off, Kaminari shoots a playful wink at Jirou, who rolls her eyes for the sixth time today. That boy would be the death of her. She could deal with villain attacks, but the pure chaotic energy of Kaminari Denki? He’s just too powerful. If she was being honest with herself, at times she found it oddly endearing, but it’s not like she’ll ever let him know that.

The group strolls along, taking in the different booths people set up. Every corner they turn, Jirou can’t help but hold her breath, hoping to see the bright colors and dirty water of a painting station. But everytime a distance booth comes into view it’s selling bracelets, or doing tarot readings, or drawing caricatures, or anything else other than face painting.

The caricature booth is actually pretty fun. Jirou didn’t think it was possible, but the artist manages to make Bakugou’s head even bigger than it already is.

She keeps telling herself that it isn’t a big deal, that face painting’s for kids anyways. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe she wants a little piece of childhood, a piece of bright, undamped energy and excitement. Maybe she wants to take a break from the world and finally release the breath trapped within her lungs.

“Jirou! Look!” Kaminari’s voice cuts through her thoughts, “over there!”

Sure enough, a colorful sign labelled Face Paintings comes into view a few booths down. The soft pressure of a hand clasps Jirou’s own, and before she knows it her feet are struggling to keep up as Kaminari drags her along. Her pounding heart a mere symptom of the running, obviously.

The two rush forward as they listen to the sound of their friends’ shoes hitting the pavement behind them. A few meters away from the booth they both freeze, eyes taking in the scene. Jirou feels her shoulders slump as she and Kaminari catch their breath.

The booth is empty save for a single cardboard box and two student volunteers. One of them notices the two panting teens and shuffles his foot back and forth.

“Er, I’m sorry you guys. We just cleaned up. Kimura already took the box with the paints back to the car.” He rocks back and forth, wringing his hands together before bending down to pick up the last cardboard box.

The other volunteer just offers a sympathetic smile and nods as she tears down the sign.

Jirou pulls her hand away from Kaminari and gives a dismissive wave. “Oh well, maybe some other time,” she says, fighting to quell the trembling in her lower lip. She ignores how bare her hand feels as the cool air rushes past.

By now the group has caught up to them, and Jirou feels the weight of a hand fall onto her left shoulder. She turns around to face her friends, half shrugging off Kirishima’s consolation and forcing herself to straighten her spine.

“It’s all right, I didn’t want to get my face painting that much anyways.” She turns to face Kaminari and stops, the two of them locking eyes. She’s startled by the intensity of his gaze, gold eyes boring into her as his eyebrows knit together. Heat rushes to her cheeks and she leans forward, plucking the bright pink piece of wata-ame out of Kaminari’s hair.

“You uh, had something there.” She breaks off eye contact, looking at everything except the boy in front of her. She hesitates for a few seconds before changing the subject, “well um, anyways, this just means we have more time to catch the coaster before it closes!”

“Ahhh yeah!”

“I’m down!”

“Let’s go!”

The group heads off, stopping along the way so Mina can pick up a paper bag, which she offers to Kaminari. He gasps and holds a hand over his heart, but looks away and snatches the bag when they get to the front of the line.

By the time they get back to the dorms, Jirou’s mind is racing from the memories of the festival. The food she ate, the rides she rode, and the booths she visited. She tries to shake off her disappointment about the face painting, focusing on how much fun she had. She shoots one more jab at Mina and Sero before heading off to her room for the night. As she drifts off to sleep, the image of Kaminari’s gaze burns behind her eyelids.

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mychemicalficrecs · 4 years

Note

do you have any longer frikey fics, preferably bottom frank if theres smut

I do have some longer Frank/Mikey stuff, but no guarantee on bottom Frank!

Longer Frank/Mikey

Emotional Brilliance by kopperblaze, 21k, Mature. Toro and Mikey are a good team, Mikey doesn’t get why Brian had to hire someone else. In particular he doesn’t get why Brian had to hire Frank, who knows nothing about Lush products and who's incapable of keeping his mouth shut. Lush!AU. The one where Ray is a skin care expert, Frank is obnoxious, Mikey is annoyed and Pete leaves glittery handprints all over everything.

Gross roomies by turps, 36k, Explicit. Frank loves living with Mikey. Sure, the apartment is a mess, the kitchen's a toxic wasteland, and there's something growing in the refrigerator that's just a day or two away from becoming sentient, but other than those minor inconveniences, it's all cool. Or it is until Mikey decides to embark on a journey of sexual discovery and adventure and Frank's left at home with nothing but the fridge monster for company. To make matters worse, Mikey insists on telling Frank everything he does with his new kinky friends, right down to the tiniest detail. And now suddenly Frank is best friends with his right hand and he can't stop thinking about Mikey in ways he never has before. The really big problem, other than suddenly being in lust with his best friend, is that Frank isn't sure why.

Won't Know 'til You Begin by knight_tracer, Sena, 24k, Explicit. In which Frank is an accidental pervert, Mikey sleeps with Fabio, Gerard is much too sincere when talking about pain sluts, Ray is terrible with women and great with guitars, and Otter's got really bad taste in music. Alternately, the one where Frank realizes he has a thing for Mikey, Mikey realizes he has a thing for guys, and they're both adorably stupid failboats.

On Air by ladyfoxxx, 15k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank's a radio DJ at an alternative station, spinning punk tracks and talking shit. When he gets handed the most popular show at the station to host, his first guests are independent horror filmmakers Gerard and Mikey Way.

Standing on a Planet that's Evolving and Revolving by Green, 13k, Explicit. The evolution of Frank Iero, age 15.

Buenas Noches From A Lonely Room by Femme (femmequixotic), 15k, Explicit. Frank wants to touch Mikey, to slide his fingers across the sharp angle of his cheek just below his glasses, to drag his thumb along the curve of his bottom lip, to smooth his palm down Mikey's long throat.

What Dreams May Come by sperrywink, 15k, Explicit. His career in music derailed, Frank never met the other guys in My Chemical Romance. A silly tale of teleportation.

a scent and a sound by mwestbelle, 15k, Explicit. In an urban fantasy world where werewolves can't hold a decent job and no roommate wants them, werewolf Frank is looking for an apartment. He finds one with Mikey Way.

Heart Wrapped in Clover by Sena, 19k, Explicit. Everbody's got their not-so-secret secrets on tour. When you live out of a van, you just can't help but notice things that you shouldn't talk about if you don't want to embarrass your friends or start a fight. Frank wishes sometimes they talked about things, though, because he's dying to ask if anybody else has noticed that sometimes, Mikey wears panties.

Tints Verse by turps, 65k, Mature. A MCR AU where Ray has his own gardening firm, and one day he does a job for the Ways.

We Used To Be Friends by ladyfoxxx, 50k, Explicit. "You and me, right Mikes?" "Yeah, fuck everybody else." Best friends since high school, if Frank could've chosen a brother, he'd pick Mikey. Then Mikey became a rock star and Frank... didn't. After years of radio silence, Mikey steps onto a stage in Jersey and back into Frank's life. (Or, the one where Frank is a school teacher and Mikey plays rhythm in The Used.)

And the Painted Ponies by turps, 35k, Mature. After years of struggling to be taken seriously as a bodyguard, Frank Iero is finally well established. He loves his boss, Ray, he loves his job, and he prides himself on his professionalism. But then he's assigned to be the personal bodyguard of Mikey Way. Mikey Way, aka Roboboy, is a successful high fashion model. Loved by designers and the public alike for his trademark lack of emotion, but mocked by the tabloid press for the exact same reason. Mikey is someone that Frank's sure he'll hate. Except it doesn't work out that way. In fact, it doesn't take long before Frank discovers he really likes Mikey. Maybe too much.

Better Than A Paid Life by gala_apples, 15k, Explicit. Gerard and Mikey Way are the Killjoys, a motorbaby duo. That is, until their car gets wrecked in a battle and the dashboard accessory of their new Trans Am is an ex-Companion with a mission.

Crash by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), 26k, Explicit. In a future version of Seattle, Frank Iero's a lot of things: bike messenger, cage fighter, sometimes thief, Ray Toro's roommate. Mikey Way's also a lot of things: record label owner, co-heir to his grandmother's fortune, younger brother. Neither are normal. But they don't know just how far each other's abnormalities go until Frank's past and a secret of Mikey's unexpectedly shove together. (Dark Angel AU.)

Sound Tracking by turps, 46k, Mature. The beat is muted, almost non-existent, and the loss hits Bob hard. He's used to living his life in a constant thrum of sound, sensing those around him, the rhythm of the universe a constant companion, but here there's almost nothing. He can feel the sound that's been pulling him for weeks now, but little else. This place is dead, almost silent, and Bob aches with the feeling of being cast into nothingness. A MCR - Bob and Gerard centric space AU where Gerard's band has been taken from him and Bob helps find them. Also features FOB, especially Pete.

Drink Cider From a Lemon by turps, 20k, General Audiences. A story about friendship, love and building your own kind of home.

Mikey Way and the Quest for the Stone by Roxy_palace, 29k, Explicit. “I’m in Colombia!” Mikey said, raising his voice over the crackle of a poor connection. “No. no, no, no, no,” James wailed. Mikey could really relate to his disbelief. He couldn't believe he was in mother fucking Colombia either.

Below the Trees, Which Are Below the Stars by alpheratz, 38k, Explicit. In the mid-1920s, Gerard and Mikey moved to France - Gerard to pursue art, Mikey because he couldn't stay behind. Now, it's 1930, and Mikey's become an airmail pilot, flying the mail route to Dakar with his navigator Frank. For a long time, the only rough thing about Mikey's life was the strain on his and Gerard's soulbond when Mikey was away, but his growing feelings for Frank and the arrival of Frank's old friend Ray could change everything.

Food of Love by Lucifuge5, 12k, Teen And Up Audiences. Ever since it re-opened, Frank's been "Sweet Nothings"'s number one customer. That he harbors a gigantic crush on one of the owners is something that he's kept to himself for the most part (Ray will never tell a soul.) It's not until he strikes a friendship with the older brother of the object of his affection that he 'fesses up. Moved by Frank's pining, Gerard promises to help Frank woo Mikey. Complications arise when Gerard's "helpful advice" is anything but. Will Frank be successful in his courtship or are his chances to win Mikey's heart as ruined as a burnt cupcake?

You Only Hear The Music (When Your Heart Begins To Break) by Acadjonne, 28k, Mature. Mikey and Frank have known each other for years. They're roommates, and best friends. They're also friends with benefits. The arrangement is casual, and it suits them both. Somewhere along the way, Mikey develops feelings for Frank, but he pushes them aside. They aren't important, he'll be fine. Or, Mikey is fine, until he somehow ends up pregnant a year into this thing with Frank, and all of a sudden, he's got more to deal with than just how long he'll be able to hide his feelings for Frank or how the hell he's supposed to afford his transition.

Give Me A Reason To Believe (Failboats In Love) by Acadjonne, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. On the night of October 31st, Linda and Frank Iero welcome a baby boy into their family. He weighs six pounds, four ounces, and is nineteen inches long. They give him a family name, and he becomes the third Iero man to bear the name of Frank. A year later, on All Hallow's Eve, a sleeping baby is taken from his crib and replaced with a fake. The babe will later be taken from the hands of the goblin that stole him, and he will be raised by two rowan treefolk, a house brownie, and some pixies. ----- When Ray walks down the stairs to the Way family basement, the last thing Mikey expects to see is a scrappy and long-haired form following behind him. But as he later finds out, Frank is almost always unexpected in the best of ways, the rest of the world be damned.

Death's Muse by TheFratelliEffect, 53k [WIP], Mature. Lonely and depressed, Mikey Way is battling through the drab years that immediately follow college. Struggling to make a living as an artist, Mikey has became a battered down, quiet introvert whom wants nothing to do with the abusive romance he is unwillingly involved in. On a cold winter morning, the starving artist is confronted with the opportunity to paint Frank Iero, the Midnight Falls' elusive, young doctor, which he takes up immediately. Love and lust ensure as the story opens on the painter as he meets his muse.

Gallons Of The Stuff by MCRmyGeneral, 20k, Explicit. Frank has been amused by blood for as long as he can remember. When he was a child, it was a simple fascination; the way it felt on his hands, the way it looked dripping to the floor, the way it smelled. But as he grew older, that simple fascination morphed into a daring lust. Blood no longer amused him, now it turned him on. Frank has never intentionally hurt someone just to see their blood. He just takes what he can get whenever an accident happens. But when Mikey is hurt bad, Frank discovers how hard it is to keep his hands, and thoughts, to himself. He loves Mikey, he has for a long time. But now, he finds his silence so much harder to keep. He has two choices: either tell Mikey how he feels, about him and his blood, and risk scaring him away, or keep quiet, and never let the man know how much he means to him. Whatever he chooses, he knows that someone will get hurt.

#frank/mikey #fic rec list #frikey

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drshebloggo · 4 years

Text

Ask box: JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM, a breakdown.

Anonymous asked: Do you know why Lane disappeared from the show as Rory's best friend over time? She appeared every now and then, yeah, but it has always bothered me that she slowly faded from being Rory's best friend to nobody... am I remembering things wrong?

I do not know! The Palladinos make decisions that sometimes are simply beyond my comprehension.

It’s been awhile since I watched Gilmore Girls in its entirety (and I kind of selectively ignore a lot in the last two, three seasons) but I don’t think you’re remembering things wrong. I will say, though, that the show faced a challenge with all of the Stars Hollow supporting ensemble when Rory went off to college. It’s these kind of problem-making focus shifts that I find really interesting, and they are UBIQUITOUS across teen/high school shows when a character or ensemble graduates.

Most of them that I can think of are done poorly, maybe with the exception of Friday Night Lights. But in defense of these shows, it’s HARD. How do you embrace a fundamental shift in the entire premise of your show? How do you deal with the new geographies of this shift, and the way they ripple into beloved character dynamics? How do you evolve a character through an engaging and meaningful arc without abandoning the foundation on which they were built? And how do you still capture your audience’s attention when there’s a risk that you’re leaving behind the magic that captivated them in the first place? IT’S HARD.

So in the case of Gilmore Girls, Rory at Yale is the shift that moves the show into a new paradigm, and it’s a big one. She’s separated from Stars Hollow and slowly beginning her emancipation from Lorelai, which is, on principle, painful for the audience because it’s directly against the show’s premise. (It’s no coincidence that the Palladinos starts seriously building the Luke-and-Lorelai-of-it-all once Rory’s away at college. Give that empty-nester some new story!)

Of course, Lane is right behind Lorelai in the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. How is Lane supposed to stay a part of Rory’s story when Rory is in a new context, and Lane is not? But, truth be told, Lane was ALREADY in this role. In seasons 1-3, LANE, not Lorelai, was #1 on the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. Ultimately Gilmore Girls is a story of two worlds, and Rory going to Chilton begins her passage across the into the New (Old, with Baggage) World. Lane is already being left behind, to some degree, and in seasons 1-3, there’s still room in the show’s universe to address those issues and give Lane some good storylines of her own, especially in conjunction with Rory.

So it’s possible that the issue is not necessarily one of screentime or setting. Whenever I hear the rebel cry of JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM resound in my heart chambers, I mostly think of the kinds of storylines that befell her in the later seasons, not simply in their detachment from Rory. Heeding her mom’s insistence that she attend Seventh Day Adventist college. Fracturing her relationship with her mom in order to pursue her dreams. Getting kicked out of her home. Living with her two boy bandmates who are very stupid and very messy. Never really getting the band off the ground. Her first sexual experience being terrible. Her first sexual experience being terrible AND yielding a pregnancy with TWINS. Why do the Palladinos hate Lane Kim!!! The only thing I wholeheartedly love about Lane’s later storylines is Luke hiring her to work at the diner and then being completely overwhelmed by her sheer competence.

It’s probably important to note that the mere construction of Lane Kim’s character is a bit tragic. The Palladinos are VERY good at building conflict and tension into what seems like simple character descriptions. Here’s this girl that loves rock music to an obsessive, encyclopedic level, wants to play drums in a band, and she’s from a strict religious household where she can’t express any of that. The description itself inherently means that things are going to blow up for Lane at some point. That’s okay, to some degree - that’s conflict, that’s drama, that’s good story.

So if we look at Lane’s arc pre-blow-up, and post-blow-up, the satisfying thing would be for Lane to experience some kind of happiness or success living unstifled in her dreams, to offset the trauma that her family relationships are ruined (at least for the time being). But the Palladinos don’t even do that! It’s encapsulated in the incident that tears apart Lane’s relationship with her mom: she goes to play at CBGB, her mom finds out and kicks her out, and the band doesn’t even get to go on!! The Palladinos love PAIN.

And okay, fine, there’s still some defense that that is well-designed drama and story. (And Lane and her mom do reconcile eventually, and it was at least very affecting, from my memory.) I guess you could argue that Lane IS happy with how things turned out after the lifelong lie she’s lived completely unravels and she’s able to just exist, unguarded. But also... the Palladinos wrote her that way??? And regardless, for me, the issues arise more down the line with Lane essentially staying in Stars Hollow. Wouldn’t unshackling herself from the yoke of her mother mean that she’s free to pursue her dreams? And wouldn’t pursuing her dreams necessitate her to ALSO leave Stars Hollow, like Rory herself? Would she not try to scrape together money to move with the band to New York City and hit the big time? (Bear in mind, I have no idea how the music industry works.)

Ultimately, Lane’s story in the later seasons puts the writers in a Catch-22. If she leaves Stars Hollow and goes somewhere else to pursue her dreams, she’s almost certainly written off the show. She’s a supporting character, and they can’t open up a new world beyond Stars Hollow and New Haven, just for her. On the other hand, if she stays in Stars Hollow, in keeping with the geographies of the universe, she stays on the show, and just... gets really disappointing storylines. I’d be inclined to keep giving Keiko Agena a paycheck.

(Now, the fact that WB threw money at a backdoor pilot for Jess Mariano to go to California and open up a new world for a weakly-premised spin-off, and did no such thing for Lane Kim, is some bullshit. Literally “moving to the big city to live a dream” is SUCH a well-worn trope that all the storylines are essentially handed to them, and it’s almost inherently refreshed because Lane is a Korean-American woman and not a brooding white guy or a quirky white lady. You FOOLS, you could’ve made that show with your EYES CLOSED.)

Anyways.

I’m going to meander my way further off the main point for a moment to kick up some dust on JUSTICE FOR RORY GILMORE as well. When you write ten paragraphs lamenting Lane Kim’s eternal relegation to supporting role, it’s hard not to be cranky about affording world-opening and story-building for a main character instead. (Spin-off Jess very much deserves the crank, though.) But, frankly, the unyielding walls that the Palladinos built to construct their very effective Two-World Universe don’t do a lot of favors for Rory Gilmore either, in the end.

Basically, this construct of Stars Hollow ensemble and New Haven future means that Rory is the only one who will “get out” of Stars Hollow, because she is structurally decreed to do so. It’s the massive conflict that the Palladinos smartly built into their little generational premise: Lorelai fled her parents’ world, and Rory will slowly be lured back into it. Pain ensues. This is good drama. This is good story. This is story that will last seven seasons and six-hour revival.

But it also inadvertently makes Rory the Chosen One, in a story that doesn’t need one. This is not Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces, and I’d like to believe that even Paris and Rory wouldn’t want it to be, much as they love the Power of Myth. Lorelai divests her entire life into Rory’s success; the town of Stars Hollow wants Rory to spirit out of their small town and Be Great; Rory’s grandparents expect her to follow in Richard’s footsteps and also carry out their orphaned dreams for Lorelai. And then the Palladinos choose little things that further this: Lane doesn’t ever leave Stars Hollow; Paris doesn’t get into Harvard but Rory does; Luke interrogates any boy that comes near Rory because no one is good enough. (I confess, I’m charmed into forgiving the last one.)

It’s much too much to put onto one character and leave unaddressed!!! It’s also why some audience members just really hate Rory, in a really unfortunate knife-twist on an otherwise-winsome main character. They hate the unwillingness of the narrative to acknowledge this very obvious dark and specific underside to Rory’s specialness, and the unwillingness of people within the narrative to name this very obvious dark and specific underside about Rory. But to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit: she’s just DRAWN THAT WAY!

Rory’s storylines never really confront the idea that she has had FAR too many unrealistic expectations put on her by literally everyone that’s ever existed in her life, and what it might mean if she doesn’t live up to them. What does it mean if she’s not Christiane Amanpour? What does it mean if she’s scared of disappointing people? What does it mean if she’s trying to live up to other people’s standards rather than examining what she really wants?

The Palladinos completely ignore this, and simultaneously give Rory multiple meltdowns (cheating with Dean, being cowed by Mitchum Huntzberger, stealing a boat, quitting Yale, an aimless/struggling career) and they never QUITE dig into the complete dark and specific issue at the core of Rory’s character construction... which just exacerbates the Rory hate. Rory has no self-awareness; the writers give her no self-awareness; we go in circles, and every few years there’s a slew of thinkpieces about how selfish and awful Rory is.

What makes it worse is that those questions outlined above are essentially applicable for two other women on the show: Lane Kim, and Lorelai Gilmore II, herself. Lane, like Rory, doesn’t quite bust through and answer them wholly. Lorelai, however, comes into the show having already answered them, years before, when she was a headstrong and tenacious teenager. The idea that neither Rory, her actual daughter, nor Lane, her spiritual inheritor of Parental Disapproval, are ever able to grapple with those concepts in a real way, and blossom into self-defined adulthood the way that Lorelai did is maybe the bottom line on where Gilmore Girls went “wrong.” Lorelai’s legacy is not that she’s hyperverbal, loves junk food, and got pregnant young. It’s that she rejected the expectations of her forebearers and carved out a place in the world for herself by her own definition, for better or for worse. It’s why Lorelai comes out of the narrative like a Super Mom, when in fact she’s still just as deeply flawed as Emily or Rory, and why Stars Hollow is overall magical and cherished despite it serving as a small-town hometown for Rory to leave behind. And it’s why A Year in the Life was SO satisfying for Emily Gilmore, because she proved it’s never too late to answer those questions and break through to the other side. Perhaps we’ll get enough revivals to see the same happen for Rory, and for Lane.

But enough dust about Rory. I think, after all this nitpicking, there were two options for the best way to have handled Lane Kim after Rory went off to college:

1. Give her a backdoor pilot and spinoff to Band Dreams NYC. Which, of course, was not in the Palladinos’ control, so, y’know, fine.

2. Keep Lane in Stars Hollow and give her a chance to answer those questions about self-definition and live out a few years of Lorelai-like hard-but-happy independence (and better sex) before saddling her with Zach and two babies (if you MUST). Bonus points if she moves in with Lorelai and they bond over being fundamentally disappointing to your parents and also missing Rory. A very good obvious choice.

Secret option 3. Just let Lane move to New Haven and live with Rory and Paris off-campus, and give me the goddamn roommate comedy of my dreams. Honestly this is what they should’ve done. Forget everything I said. This is my answer.

Tiny footnote: I cannot BELIEVE, that after twenty years, I am just now realizing how on-the-nose it is that Lorelai escaped from the clutches of New Haven and started a new life for herself at a place called INDEPENDENCE INN. Truly, it was right there in front of me and I didn’t even notice. This oversight might weaken the integrity of the thousand-paragraph essay I rattled off above...

#long post #ask box #JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM #there's also justice for Rory Gilmore in here too #I haven't done this in ages and it's... long.#I am watching approximately zero new television but I'd love to relitigate TV from the early 00s and 10s #Gilmore Girls

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creativerogues · 4 years

Text

Writing A Backstory...

The Frigid North

A harsh icy land almost untouched by time, the northern territory of the Slane Imperium is highly untamed and dangerous, covering much of the most northern lands on Ora’Dinn.

While its grandeur and pale vistas can be captivating to some, the region is vicious and has taken many innocent lives who wandered too far past the Red Wall. Much of the land is believed to be unchanged since the supposed flash freeze that occurred over millennia ago.

Many a poor soul try to navigate the ever-shifting patches of ice and frozen rock to find themselves in a chest crushing, body numbing, watery grave.

Those who are brave enough (or gone mad) that can watch their footing or protect from the cold fear the goblinoid pirates, giants, remorhaz, white dragons and behirs that litter that great glaciers.

Many bandits also end up in the north usually due to exile, though many would rather plea for imprisonment or the simplicity of capital punishment rather than the slow death the nature of the north offers to those not prepared.

The waters underneath the frozen planes cause much of the ice to shift greatly, changing the landscape; an explorer could go in a straight line through the frigid north and back and see a different land along in the same journey, making the land almost unable to be land-marked and mapped.

It is believed that the old king of the bugbear clans had a compass that guided through the arctic waters and ice, though if it was lost or even existed is unknown. In fact due to the ever shifting ice planes, many native bugbears ‘farm’ these ever moving bestial land to make ships for their kin.

The Onna Tribe

Unfortunately for the reputation of Sea elves, the most common encounter with a triton is with a member of the Onna Tribe.

A large tribe that spans across the Frozen North after being driven mad by the Sea Mother of Madness, Bilibdoolpoolp.

Since the Great Cataclysm they have become more active and have tried to invade the lower realms.

They are more adapted to the arctic expanse they live in and have begun to take on the looks of the predators that roam the lands and the cold depths below.

The past of the Onna tribe is highly unknown, many believe them to have been ancestors of a band of triton criminals that came to the north centuries ago; whether by exile or escape from justice is unknown.

The Onna tribe is highly hostile to most beings, preferring the company of their own, hiding beneath the ice only coming above to hunt and gather; though some have been known to disband from the tribe and travel the world.

They are avid hunters, usually going after dire wolves, remorhaz, lonely bugbears and occasionally a wyvern.

They hunt by scouting their chosen kill, scratching through ice under the water to weaken it before breaking through and surrounding them, surprising their prey while weakening the ice around them making escape quite difficult without a fight.

Isthasyl Sonear

Neutral Evil Triton (Onna Tribe) Wizard, School of War

"The World is cold and cruel, and to not only survive it, but to thrive in it, is something I pride myself on.” - Isthasyl Sonear

Homelands: Frigid North

Parents: I do not know who my mother is. She died after being torn apart by a Yeti.

Birthplace: An undersea cavern beneath a sea of ice sheets.

Siblings: 3 Siblings. A dead older brother, a younger sister and a youngest brother.

Favourite Dish: Seafood

Mysterious Secrets

When he was young, he found a cliff near his homelands. Near this cliff was a bunch of natural caverns large enough to live in. He pondered whether he should stay here, but decided against it. Now he has a plan to return there should anyone be 'hunting' him.

Isthasyl only joined the Expedition to Rystka because he heard news of the only survivor that managed to return from those islands went insane, and now his curiosity is getting the better of him.

After discovering that a Library in Rystka is in possession of a "Tome of Forgotten Incantations", Isthasyl's curiosity has made him want more and more to look into this book and what it contains.

Life Events (In Order)

Isthasyl found a black executioner's hood that he now wears like a scarf.

When Isthasyl was young, he found a Spell Scroll of Symbol of Insanity and almost succeeded in casting the Spell it contained.

Isthasyl went insane for 3 Years after failing to properly cast the Spell, but managed to regain his sanity through means beyond his own. A small tic or some other bit of odd behaviour might linger.

A famous mage saw potential in Isthasyl's broken and tragic soul, and tutored him in the arcane arts, as well as studying his mind and body in the process.

Isthasyl was terribly frightened by something he encountered. He ran away, abandoning his Mentor to their fate. He has no idea if they're alive or dead, but secretly hopes they're dead.

I became a Wizard because: I grew up listening to tales of great wizards and knew I wanted to follow their path.

Isthasyl's Quests & Goals

"To pursue beyond the limits of what I have been told is capable, to seek the impossible and do what every Archmage before us has failed to do, is something of my happiest dreams." - Isthasyl Sonear speaking about his goals and future plans.

Isthasyl has unspecified plans for when he is a more powerful wizard. He wants to become powerful enough to kill people with just his gaze, command beasts and demons, and most of all be "Invulnerable to the World and it's Horrors".

Quotes

"My interests leave me not trusting anyone. Not feeling like I, in some ways, belong. And as such I spend a much of my time in solitude." - Isthasyl on the topic of trust.

"Today I risk my life for a ridiculous sum of coin." - Isthasyl on the topic of Adventuring.

"I remember the first time I killed a Wyvern. I was so young and yet they trusted me to go out on my own underneath the ice on my first hunt. I remember the confidence that flowed through my veins as I saw its shadow fly over my own and land before me, only a layer of ice separating us both. I remember the fear that came to me as I scratched through the ice to weaken it, and the rush as I crashed through it and grabbed the wyvern by it's head. I remember dragging it down into the water as it snapped and gasped for air, but I could never release my grip, I could not allow it. I took both arms around its skull and forced its mouth open so that it would gulp down the cold water. And I remember the relief as its throws under the water grew weaker… At times I wonder when that child died, and myself was born from his ruins..." - Isthasyl Sonear, describing his first experience of the Lone Hunt.

Other Notes

Isthasyl is a cannibal and has been known to eat the fresh corpses of those killed.

Isthasyl is a nihilist and pessimistic, always assuming that those around him are less intelligent than him until they prove him otherwise. He often phrases his fears as monotone phrases, such as "You're going to kill us" and "We're going to die" because he just assumes that the people around him are simply too stupid to keep themselves alive.

Isthasyl claims not to have a fear of death, and in fact has a cruel fascination with it. Since he can breathe water, he sometimes ponders what drowning would feel like for him, and since so many people claim the Onna Tribe to be Insane, and him having lost and regained his sanity, he often wonders about the process of "Going Insane" and what it means, and has recently taken an interest in studying the Abyss and the Lower Planes.

Isthasyl has a mild dislike of fire due to his upbringing in the Frigid North.

Isthasyl ate his own grandfather and older brother after their deaths, this was the first time Isthasyl participated in the act of cannibalism.

As you probably guessed, this is all the set up for my most recent Character in the ‘Blood and Mist’ Campaign ran by a Friends of mine.

And while I don’t have an actual backstory, what I do have is a framework, so why not work with this incredibly talented community to help write our a history for this little traumatised fish boy?

#blood and mist #dnd 5e campaign #dnd 5e character #backstory

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

990

survey by starsareonly2nd

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? No. Doesn’t sound like my type of city. I wouldn’t mind visiting the rest of Nevada though.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Just a cup of coffee; I skip breakfast except on Sundays, when we actually sit down at the dining table and eat as a family.

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets right now but I do have very few coins in my wallet. I used to have plenty, but I’ve given most of them away because I usually give tips to the nice people who help me get out of parking spots.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I like some of her songs, especially the ones from 1989, but I have no idea why I just can’t get into her as a person.

What's your favorite Disney Channel movie? I haven’t tuned in to that channel for a very long time now, but the movies that I got the most excited about as a kid were Twitches, Wendy Wu, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, and High School Musical 1 and 2.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I’d be starstruck in a calm way; like I’d most likely be too shocked to get more than a few words out. I’m sure I’d come off as shy or boring haha, which is why I’ve refused to meet or interact with my favorite celebrities even if I’ve already had the chance to.

Are there any lights on in the room you're in? I have a ceiling light and a desk lamp, but both are turned off. My only light source at the moment is my laptop screen.

What's your favorite subject in school? History.

What's your favorite holiday? My birthday, if that counts. Christmas can also be great but only for the food, the reunions with extended family, and the freedom to guiltlessly cut off contact with colleagues for a couple of weeks. All other aspects of it make me miserable though.

Do you ever have to do yard work? I’ve never had to do that before.

Is your school close to your house? I mean, it wasn’t a 10-minute walk away but it’s relatively close and driving to my university objectively doesn’t take too long unless there’s heavy traffic. If there’s absolutely no barriers I could get to school in 15-20 minutes, but this is really only just for weekends where I have to go to school for some reason. If there’s traffic (and there always is), I take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? I haven’t been to my school since the first week of March, and I’ve already graduated since then.

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? I can honestly tell you that I have genuinely never gotten sick of that song. It’s a late 2000s classic, man. Of course it was too explicit for my 11 year old ears when it first came out, but I found it catchy nonetheless.

Do you use perfect grammar online? I always try to be correct, yes. When I use improper grammar it’s usually because I’m joking.

Are you currently using a laptop? Yup.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I haven’t used iTunes in a while and Spotify, which I do use, doesn’t work that way.

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I’ve never skipped her singles whenever I caught them on the radio and I’ve always fairly enjoyed the music she puts out, but I normally don’t voluntarily listen to her i.e. look up her songs myself on Spotify.

Is it a windy day? It is now that it’s nighttime, but it was a little humid all day today.

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? No. I’m not actually sure if that’s even already allowed...the possibility of public transport is still pretty murky where I live.

What shorthand do you use the most? I have no idea what this means. I did try looking it up but I dunno if I’ve ever had to use shorthand at any point in my life.

Do you ever wish on stars at night? Every now and then, but it’s just the little kid in me.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown. I feel like I answer this at least once a week.

What album is the current song you're listening to off of? Not listening to music but the last song I heard is from an album called Petals For Armor.

What are you doing after you finish this? Try not to cry/break down. Find something to watch on YouTube. Maybe play with Cooper to destress and forget about my problems for a bit.

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? Other than songs I occasionally put on repeat, I have not heard any new music for a while now.

Are you in a band? Nope, never been.

How clean is your bedroom? We just tidied it up and rearranged a few things last month so I’d say it’s clean - at least tidier than it used to be. And I’m a little proud that despite how rough life has been, I’ve managed to keep it clean. It’s the little things.

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Yeah, there’s one on my desk and I can easily reach out and grab it.

Are you sitting at a desk? I’ve moved to my bed for now. My back does not appreciate sitting at a desk all day.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female.

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Yesssssssss. We have a light source by the stairs that extends to the hallway and reaches my room, so it gets super annoying if my door is even just slightly ajar because my eyes get distracted by the faint light. My door has to be completely shut for me to feel comfortable in the privacy of my room.

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? I haven’t. I loooove Lady Marmalade, but I’m just not sure if the movie itself is my cup of tea.

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? I’d love to have the chance to do that, yeah.

Are there any framed pictures in the room you're in? There are a couple.

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Nope.

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? I don’t think so but I do remember watching a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars because a wrestler that I liked was one of the contestants for one season. I’m just not sure of SYTYCD also featured wrestlers in their shows; if that has been the case in the past- and I’m just not sure because my memory is a little hazy - I would’ve given it a watch.

What's your favorite movie soundtrack? The Twilight Saga churned out some bomb ass soundtracks. Other than that, I also enjoyed Interstellar’s and Requiem for a Dream’s.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Depends on what kind of work needs to be done. If a task is graphic design or video editing-heavy, I would prefer to work with other people; but if it’s gonna be heavy on something that’s already my forte, I like to work by myself.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? Just my car.

Are you wearing anything with stripes? Not at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night? 9:45 I think? A little later than 10? Somewhere along that range.

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No.

What show did you last watch? Friends.

Do you think you'll do anymore surveys today? I doubt it. This one is already quite longer than the surveys I usually take.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream; and more recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? Sometime in February last year. I developed a fever the night before but wasn’t able to start feeling better by the next morning, so I had to skip the one class I had that day.

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Yes. I’m actually planning to buy a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle; it’s one of the items I’ve put on my cart recently. Depressed Robyn is also spend-a-lot-of-money-on-artsy-craftsy-supplies-Robyn, so.

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? Hell no.

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? Not usually, but sometimes I’ll put on lo-fi since that’s the only kind of music I can listen to and still keep my focus.

Did you think Adam Lambert's AMA performance was really that controversial? I’ve never encountered it, but I doubt I’ll have a problem with it if I do get to watch the performance. I love Adam Lambert and I've never found myself shaking my head at whatever he’s doing.

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? They’re a boy band more than anything but The Vamps has consistently irritated me through the years.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? No. I used to, but I gave it to my sister.

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? I don’t think so. With all my social media being deactivated I never get notified about birthdays anymore, but I’m fairly sure none of my friends blow out their candles every October 22nd.

When was the last time you rode in a limo? I’ve never been in one.

Do you take naps daily? No. I can’t really do that anymore since I have an 8-hour shift on weekdays, lol.

Do you still make Christmas lists? No.

Do you watch the show Dexter? I tried getting into the show because it used to always be said in the same breath as Breaking Bad, but I never got invested. I heard later seasons sucked too, so that also turned me off from continuing to pursue the series.

What's the background on your phone? I have a motivational comic that says “You’re doing really well given the circumstances” as my lockscreen. Cooper smiling is my home screen.

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? That was six years ago.

Are you scared of any animals? Any flying insect or bug, and I find them scarier if they come with a loud buzz.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? YouTube Fanfest, if that counts as one. I’m not really sure what counts as a convention haha, but that’s the closest thing I’ve got.

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? I’ve stopped thinking about that for now. My focus has since shifted to asking myself if I’ll still even be alive in a few years...ugh, how far we’ve fallen.

Are you currently using a blanket? No. It’s not cold enough for a blanket yet, but maybe in a few hours.

Are there any songs that make you cry? A lot.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

What are you doing this weekend? I have no idea.

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? BEEEEEEEEACH. Once I took my first dip in a beach, I never wanted to swim in a pool ever again.

When was the last time you had a haircut? March.

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano, saxophone, and violin. Can’t pick a favorite; I think they all sound beautiful.

Are you in band or chorus at your school? I was never in either.

Do you know what you want for Christmas? Yeah but they’re all intangible. I want to be happy, be at peace, normalcy, etc. I’ve stopped pining for presents, especially now that I can afford my own shit.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year's Eve? Always.

Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope. You’ll have to add three more months to that timeframe.

How long is the song you're listening to? No music.

Are you anticipating anything this week? I’m waiting for a couple of very specific emails to come in, and I hope they do before the week ends.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad, but only by 8 months. They were born in the same year.

Have you taken the SATs yet? I never had to take them, but I heard they’re triiiiiiiicky.

Do you watch anything on E? We never had E! in our cable service but I like tuning into that channel whenever we stay at hotels because I get to watch KUWTK, hehe.

Are you going to get off the computer now that you've finished this? Most likely.

#survey #surveys

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

Text

Classical love story; John Deacon x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay so in honor of our beloved goofball Joseph Francis Mazzello III’s birthday I have made a John deacon story that was requested to me on my wattpad. Now you can either read this as the real Disco deacy but in honor of Joey’s bday why don’t we all read it as a Joe mazzello!John deacon story. Sound good everyone? Great.

Now not really much warning except swearing, INSANE AMOUNTS OF FLUFF, a pinch of angst and above all JOHN DEACON CAUSE COME ON HE'S ADORABLE :) Also.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOE MAZZELLO THE ACTOR WHO BROUGHT DEACY TO LIFE ON SCREEN. I bet he was proud of your performance my dino boy :)

Taglist

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

@mexifangorl

________________________________________________________

*1971*

I close my eyes and I just let the music take me away. That’s how I’ve always done it. As I gracefully played one of my favorite compositions by Beethoven “Bagatelle No. 25” in A Minor. For as long as I can remember I’ve always just loved classical music, I guess you could say my first introduction to it was when my aunt took me out to see “The Nutcracker” ballet when they were performing at the London theatre.

And when I first heard that opening number and saw just how much music can tell a story without having any dialogue, I dove into all the classical artists. Got my first piano lessons at the age of seven and got my first scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music.

The headmistress said that with my skills, I had reminded her of another bright young student that she taught long before me, who unfortunately quit the program and the school to pursue a dream of rock and roll. I graduated with the highest grade in my class and even got Valedictorian after graduating the school.

Now after having graduated back in the Winter three months ago, I’ve been searching for jobs until I could hear back from the most elite orchestra in all of England, The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.

By the end of the song, I opened my eyes and that’s when I heard the phone ring. I walked over and picked it up and said.

“Hello?”

‘Hope I was disturbing your concentration my darling.’ I smiled and said.

“Freddie, long time no speak.”

‘I know right, we have so much to catch up on. In fact why not we do it tonight?’

“Tonight?”

‘Yes, come down to the pub right by London University.’

“Freddie you know I—don’t do so well in pubs. With the crowds and all.”

‘For someone who wants to be a concert pianist and doesn’t like crowds…..’

“Not like that Fred I mean—the drunkards that associate with pubs. The inappropriate ones.”

‘Well no worries darling, I’ll make sure Mary stands with you the whole time. C’mon please, for all the times I’ve told you about my new band, you have yet to come watch us perform. And I thought you were my Ohana?’

I smiled softly and said.

“I hate it when you use that word against me.”

‘That’s cause I know it works. And wear something cute, but not too slutty. I’ve got a special friend that I know you’ll like. He’s our recent bassist.’

“Wait I thought you already had one?”

‘Had to let him go, he was too much of an arsehole to keep around. But I’ve got a good feeling about the one we just found last week.’

“What time do I have to be ready by?”

‘I’ll have Mary pick you up at around 6. Our performance starts at 8pm.’ I looked at my clock at saw that it was almost 4pm.

“If that works for her.”

‘It totally does darling, ohh I can’t wait to see you. We need to hang out more. You’re always so busy lately.’

“Well what about you Mr. Lead singer. When can I expect that first album you promised me?”

‘Once we are sure the four misfits that we are can connect with the audience fully and eternally throughout the entire show.’

“See you later Freddie.”

‘See you soon darling, mwah.’

“Ciao Freddie.” I hung up the phone. God that Freddie Bulsara.

Ever since Freddie and his family moved across from me and my family, the two of us have stuck together like glue. We both had a love for the piano and he’s even kinda helped me come out of my shell a bit.

He’s always there with his arms open for a warm hug, a kiss on the cheek and a shoulder to cry on should the occasion arise. When life got stressful for me, I knew I could count on Freddie no matter what, day or night.

I got showered and dressed as cute as I could according to Freddie. I went with a basic skirt and blouse along with some boots. As I was putting on the last touches of my makeup the doorbell rang and I said.

“It’s open!” It opened and soon Mary’s voice called out.

“(Y/n)?”

“In the bathroom Mary I’m just putting the last few touches of my makeup on, fill free to take a seat I’ll be out in just a second.” After applying my lip gloss, I looked myself over before turning off the lights and went over to Mary who was sitting in my living room.

“Wow look at you.”

“Freddie helped picked it out when we went to Biba shortly after meeting you. He said this outfit was made for me.”

“Well he definitely has a sense of style. That’s one of the many things I love about him.”

“Yeah, well we best get going before we’re late. And trust me Freddie will never let us live it down if we’re late for a performance.” She nodded and we both left my flat. I locked it up and we piled into Mary’s car and soon we drove off towards the pub.

After just being here for an hour, I was already starting to feel a little overwhelmed with how many people had come. Not to say I didn’t deny Freddie and his band weren’t good, but this pub looked practically packed, it was like the maximum capacity had already been filled.

“You doing alright?” Mary asked me.

“I don’t think this pub could be anymore packed than it is.”

“If you want, I can have us go backstage and we can watch the show from there. I’m sure Freddie and the boys won’t mind.”

“No I—I’ll try and toughen it out.” She rubbed my back and soon Freddie along with three other boys came up onto the stage. One that went behind the drums had long blonde hair and he was pretty handsome and easy on the eyes but he wasn’t really my type.

The one with curly hair holding a red guitar seemed like a nice guy, I especially intrigued at the SAVE THE BADGERS wristband that he wore. But the person that caught my eye as well as make my heart go BOOM was the other guitar player.

He had long brown hair that went down past his shoulders. He looked to be about my age or maybe a bit younger I don’t know. But oh was he sure handsome, and—cute at the same time. Is that even possible to be both adorable yet incredibly hot?

“Hello all you beautiful people. Seems I’ve seen a lot of you before, but I do see some new faces which is lovely, thank you all for coming to our show tonight. We’d first like to start off by introducing our new bass player; John Deacon.” John Deacon, it suits him. “So all of those who have been with us since the beginning treat him well, if not then I’ll fuck you all over and not in the good way.” Typical Freddie, that was always his go too saying, especially when I first started dating awhile back.

“I think they get the idea Fred, right so we’d like to begin with our first number. It’s called Keep yourself alive, thank you.” The curly haired guitarist said before striking his strings and when I heard that first strum, it was unlike anything I had heard come out of a guitar.

Wow, why didn’t I ever come and see Freddie and his band before? They each had a wonderful sound that I had never heard from a rock band before, not even from the Beatles or even Elton John.

Freddie owned the stage like it was his, and he made sure that everyone in the pub felt included, the guitarist skillfully fingered his guitar with every note, the drummer kept in tempo with the song and I could definitely tell that he was passionate about drumming.

And John…..god why must he be so cute when he bops his head along to the beat of each song that played, or do a little dance step on stage. And I know this sounds crazy, but I swore I thought John was looking right at me every now and then as he played his bass. I couldn’t help but blush and look down shyly.

By the end of the show, everyone was clapping and whistling loudly. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face and Freddie said in the mic.

“Thank you my lovely darlings, we are Queen. Thank you, goodnight!” The boys then walked off the stage. Mary grabbed my arm and gestured me to follow her. We walked out of the pub and into the university corridors before heading out to the back.

“Freddie!” she greeted.

“Hello my love.” Freddie turned and said as he smiled widely at his girlfriend. The two of them kissed and he picked her up and spun her around making Mary giggle.

“Freddie, Freddie put me down!” she laughed which caused Freddie to chuckle.

“And you, my lovely darling.” Freddie said to me. I smiled and the two of us embraced each other. He picked me up and swung me side to side.

“You guys were amazing!” I praised. “And you were incredible.”

“Well I had to give my bestest friend a show she’d never forget.”

“So this is the (y/n) you were telling us about?” the curly haired guitarist said. We turned towards them and Freddie said.

“Yes, my darlings this is my most dearest and closest friend since childhood, (y/n) (l/n).”

“Wait a minute, didn’t you once perform at the London opera house last year?” asked the guitarist.

“Yeah. I was chosen to be the pianist for the live orchestra performance of Figaro.”

“So you—like classical music?” asked the drummer. I nodded. “So—why come here to a rock concert?”

“Rog don’t be a bastard!” hissed the guitarist lowly. He turned to me and he said, “What Roger was trying to say is that….we thought a classical musician like yourself wouldn’t like Rock and roll.”

“Well while most of the people I perform with always talk bad about rock and roll. I actually find it quite enjoyable. In fact Freddie here got me into David Bowie and I’ve just found rock and roll enjoyable ever since. I just love to hear the sounds of a guitar and if struck the right way, it almost sounds like it’s singing.”

“Wow, so you did notice? Oh where are my manners, I’m Brian May.” He said as he held out his hand and I shook it. “You know Roger of course.”

“I hope you really didn’t take it offensive love.” Roger said to me.

“None taken. I’ve dealt with Freddie for years and I’ve heard worse taunts and teases from him. You’ve got quite an ear for the drums and—was I going crazy or did I see you tighten your drums after a few of your songs?”

“You actually caught that?”

“Yeah. I—never knew you could do that to a drum.”

“I would be happy to show you sometime if you’d like.”

“Watch it Taylor. Just because you and I are roommates, doesn’t mean you get dibs on my bestie.” Freddie warned as he held me protectively. “And last but not least, the man I wanted you to meet, our new bassist. Deacy.” Wait I thought his name was John?

“I—actually prefer John.” He muttered.

“No John just sounds so boring, especially after what I saw out of you on stage. So from now on I dub thee Deacy.”

“Well I…..”

“Freddie I think it’s a little early for nicknames.”

“Oh come off it, you know I love giving people new names, right bunny?” I blushed heavily and sneered lowly.

“Why must you call me that in front of people?!”

“Because it’s adorable. Just like you.” He bopped my nose as he said ‘you’. “Right now this calls for a celebration, drinks all around. Roger’s buying tonight my darlings!”

“Oi hold on a second Fred!” As everyone walked off, John and I stayed behind and I shyly looked at him.

God he was even more handsomer up close. He had a great profile, but the thing that caught my attention were his eyes. I cant pinpoint what color they were exactly but—they were beautiful.

“Freddie can always be a bit eccentric, I hope he hasn’t scared you away already.”

“Not really. I—I think I’ll stick around. He definitely has a vision for this band.”

“I know already he likes you already. Your bass playing was definitely what they needed. And he’s told me about all the other bass players before who were either so egotistical it made them arseholes, or they just sucked once they got on stage.” John looked at me and the two of us just stared at each other before we smiled shyly.

Wow this was so awkward, why am I like this? Why is my heart beating so fast, I just met John.

“Then I’m glad I went with the audition.” We both smiled at each other then before we could say anything else, Freddie came up and said.

“Oi you two done snogging each other or what?” the two of us heavily blushed and I squeaked out towards him.

“Get your mind out of the gutter you rotter!”

“Then either get your little bums in here or hop in the back of the van, because you two are immediately radiating sexual tension!” I chased after Freddie and he ran off screaming.

*John’s POV*

Is it wrong for me to say that I’m turned on by her strength? I mean Freddie’s told us so much about this friend of his but when I saw her it—it was like everything else in the world vanished except for her. The second I saw her from up on stage, I almost forgot how to play on stage, but I didn’t want the boys to get pissed at me.

But every now and then throughout the performance, I would look right at her just to admire her beauty. Now getting to talk to her, she was just so adorable, and the fact that Freddie calls her bunny I could see why he called her that.

Much like a bunny she was adorable with those beautiful (e/c) eyes of hers that just glowed.

I followed behind her and tried to think of a better conversation, god I can’t believe I made a complete ass of myself in front of her.

*My POV*

Throughout the rest of the night, I got to know Freddie’s bandmates better. Like I was told that Brian is studying astrophysics and that he and his dad both built his guitar from scratch.

“You know Roger’s a dentist.” John told me.

“A dentist?”

“I was never a dentist.” Roger pointed out.

“He’s a dentist.” John teased towards Brian.

“He’s a dentist.” Brian agreed. I giggled softly as I sipped my strawberry margarita.

“So John, what do you study?” I asked.

“I’m still in school over at Chelsey studying electrical engineering.”

“Really?” I asked bewildered. He nodded. “Wow I mean I may be smart but not that smart. Is it hard?”

“Some things are difficult. It’s just a whole bunch of words meshed together as you read them, it’s once you get down to the real hard work that it becomes easier. I’m—actually currently in the process of making my own amp for my bass.”

“Really? That’s incredible.” I said in awe.

“Thank you (y/n).” we both smiled at each other and the two of us had our own private conversation while the others kept talking amongst each other.

I got to really know John extremely well that night. I learned about his family, how long he had been playing bass, and what type of music he likes to listen to. I also told him some facts about me, like when I got into classical music, what kind of Rock and roll artists and bands I liked, a bit about my family and my big dream of being in the Philharmonics.

By the end of the night as Freddie offered to drive me home, John piped in and said.

“Actually Freddie, if I could—I could take her home.” Freddie looked at him skeptically but there was a hint of mischief in his eyes.

“Are you sure it isn’t for another reason Deacy darling?” he teased.

“No I-I-I was just…..”

“Lay off Freddie! Besides Mary looks like she’s about to pass out. You should get her home before someone else offers.” I said to him gesturing to a drowsy Mary who was leaning against Freddie’s shoulder.

“Alright, but if you guys do the deed tonight just be sure to use protection.”

“Okay we’re going now!” I exclaimed as I stood up and John followed behind me.

We went in John’s car and I told him where to turn in order to get to my flat.

“Again I apologize for Freddie’s bluntness. He just says what he wants and doesn’t think about it.”

“Guess that’s another thing I’ll have to get used to huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I admire him for that. To be honest, I’m kinda jealous that he can speak so freely. All my life I’ve just stayed quiet and let people speak for me.”

“But I have noticed you do have some hidden sass in you. If you don’t mind me pointing that out.”

“I don’t mind.” Sadly we reached my flat and as I turned to get out, he got out of the car as well and came over to open my door. “I hope you also don’t mind if I walk you to your door. Just, to make sure you get there safely in case you’re still a little woozy.”

“Thank you.” I said. As we walked towards my door, I guess I must’ve been more wasted than I thought because next thing I knew, the tip of my sandal got caught along the curb and I went flying forward but it wasn’t until John caught me in his arms.

I placed my hands on his biceps and—goddamn they were…..something.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Sorry.”

“For what? Tripping? You had no control of that. But aren’t you glad I came to walk you to your door instead of waiting in the car?” I hummed a nod. We soon arrived at my door and I unlocked it.

“Thank you again John. And it was wonderful to meet you. I—hope we can hang out again soon?”

“I’d like that.” He said with such a warm smile, it sent shivers up my spine and made my stress fade away. He then surprised me by taking a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear.

I felt my heart stop as his finger softly grazed across my temple and the tip of my ear. I could feel the slight calloused feel of his fingertips, and the two of us stared into each other’s eyes.

“Deacy.” I whispered. It took a second for me to process that I had called him by the nickname Freddie had given him and I said embarrassedly, “I—I’m sorry John I didn’t mean it, it-it just slipped out. I won’t call you that if you…..”

“Actually it—it has a nice ring when you say it.” I looked up at him surprised.

“Really?”

“Yeah I—I wouldn’t mind if you called me that.” I softly smiled and said.

“Well, thanks again for—for walking me to my door. And it was great to finally meet you.” He took my hand and did another surprising thing. He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it and he said.

“It was great getting to know you too, bunny.” I blushed at the nickname but it gave me this warm feeling when he said it. I fiddled with my door handle before finally opening it and bid him one final goodnight before slowly closing the door behind me.

I leaned against my door and sighed blissfully as my heart almost felt like it wanted to explode. He actually kissed my hand! Oh my god he kissed my hand! God I can still feel the tingles from that kiss. His lips were so soft.

Well I guess there’s no doubting it even though I want to, especially since we just met tonight. I am infatuated with my best friend’s bass player John Deacon.

Months passed and I began to get really close with John. In fact the two of us have become practically best friends with each other even though I’m a few years older than him, it didn’t bother us. But sometimes I do wish we could be more than that, but my damn shyness and introverted attitude just stands in the way.

We’ve already established a good friendship, what if I screw it up by admitting that I love him? I’d lose him. So I kept my feelings for him buried as deep as I could. And I did find a perfect distraction for that.

You see just three weeks ago the auditions for the Philharmonics finally happened and I had been practicing for so long for years to hope for the chance to perform with them. They said they would contact me soon with a letter and so every day since the audition I have been pacing with worry.

“If you keep pacing around like that, you’ll create a rut in your home.” Deacy teased. I stuck my tongue at him and sat down on my couch.

“It’s been three weeks Deacy and there hasn’t been a single letter from them. Why haven’t they reached out to me?” He set down some tools (my refrigerator has been a bit of the fritz and when I told him about it, he offered to take a look at it and offered to do it for free. So who can say no to that).

“I know you’re stressed (y/n), believe me I know how hard you’ve worked for that audition. I’ve caught you using some of our studio time to practice. You’re incredibly talented, I’ve never seen anyone strike the piano keys that way when it comes to classical music.” I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder and that’s when I saw some mail fall through my mall slot.

We looked to each other and I walked over and gathered up everything. Gas bill, cable bill, water bill, my monthly magazine prescription, oh my god—From the London Philharmonics. I tossed the mail aside save for that one letter.

“Is it from them?” he asked. I spoke not a word but quickly ripped the envelope up and unfolded the letter inside. I read it over as quick as I could trying to get to the bolded part of whether I got in or not.

My heart at that moment became lead.

“(Y/n)?” I vaguely heard John say. I collapsed to my knees and John knelt down in front of me. I saw him take the letter that had fallen to the floor and as soon as he read it, he looked at me with sad empathy. “Oh love I’m so sorry. Come here.” He wrapped his arms around me but I just felt numb.

Tears formed in my eyes and I let them out one by one. At first it was just a trickle, then it formed into a soft whimper, until finally I just broke down. I gripped onto Deacy like he was my lifeline and he not once released me or forced me to separate from him. Instead he held on tighter and rubbed my back in soothing circles.

I don’t know how long I cried for, must’ve felt like hours till I finally stopped crying and just sniffled against Deacy’s shoulder. As he rubbed my back, he gently rocked me from side to side in a gentle manner like I was a baby again.

“I’m sorry.” I choked out silently.

“No, you have no reason to be sorry. They are nothing but upper class arseholes. They wouldn’t know a good pianist if it bit them in the balls.” I sobbed out a laugh and sniffled.

“Oh god now I’ve gone and stained your shirt.”

“Oh this old thing don’t worry about it. That’ll wash off. I’m more concerned about you right now.” At hearing that I’ll admit it did make my lead heart feel a bit lighter than it did reading my rejection letter.

“It’s just—I hate you seeing me like this. I don’t like it when people see me cry.” He leaned his forehead against mine and rubbed my arms soothingly.

“Well…..if you don’t want me to see you cry, then maybe I should make you laugh instead.” At hearing him say that, I acted fast. I stood up as fast as I could and tried to run but he came right up on me and playfully tackled me onto my loveseat and began tickling me along my ribs and sides.

I immediately was taken over by shrieks and laughs. God why was he such a skilled tickler? Was it because of his years of bass playing? Whatever the case he was a sadistic tickler and he knew it. Ever since I one night worked myself to complete stress that my back was killing me.

Deacy offered to give me a massage to help put me at ease. Of course he was shy about the sudden offer he had said but I told him I accepted. As he began with my shoulders, he lightly stroked across my shoulder blades which kinda tickled and ever since then he’s secretly exploited my weakness whenever it’s just us two together.

“Nohahaha…..Deacy stohahahap!”

“I don’t think I want to. Not until I know for sure you’re happy and forget about that letter.” I kept trying to push him off but he had me pinned right between him and the loveseat.

“Okahahay…..okahahahay! I’m Hahahahahappy! I’m haphahahahppphehehee!!” he then stopped at my request leaving me breathless. We both looked at each other and he stroked a wild strand away from my face. My heart was fluttering as he just stared down at me.

“(Y/n)…..”

“(Y/n) my darling! Have you……oh well.” We were both horrified to see not only Freddie standing at my doorway, but also Brian and Roger too. “If you want we can come back later dearies.”

“No! It—it’s not like that at all!” Deacy said as he quickly got off of me and I adjusted myself.

“We—we were just…..” I tried to explain but Roger interrupted.

“No, no, no you don’t need to explain. We’ve had a feeling this was going to happen. Now Bri and Fred owe me 10 quid.”

“Oh my god nothing happened here!” Deacy snapped.

“So what exactly was going on here?” quirked Brian. At that point I grew solemn again. Deacy turned to me and asked me through his eyes if it was okay.

“I’d gotten a response from the Philharmonics…..”

“You did? Oh darling that’s fantastic!! When do you start performing with them. My darlings this cause for a celebration. Brian get the wine that’s in the car. Rog, her wine glasses are kept on the second top shelf over her oven.” Freddie suddenly jumped to conclusions.

“Freddie stop!” Deacy hissed. At hearing his tone, all three boys were stunned. I sighed heavily and I told them.

“I didn’t make it.” At hearing that, Freddie’s eyes widened with horror.

“What the fuck!?”

“(Y/n) we’re—we’re so sorry love.” Brian said as he came over and wrapped an arm around me in a comforting one armed hug.

“How could they not pick you!? You were the only reason why I give classical music a chance. Why would they not pick you!?” shouted Roger.

“Right that’s it. Rog get in the car we’re gonna throw some stones right through the windows of the Philharmonics hall.”

“I’ll drive Fred.”

“Nobody’s going anywhere.” Brian emphasized towards my two hysterical queens.

“Please guys I—I don’t want to even think about this anymore.”

“And we’ll respect that love. Won’t we Fred? Rog?” the two of them whined out exasperated but agreed.

“My darling forget about them. Clearly you were so good, they were threatened by you. You deserve better than them.” Freddie said as he came up and embraced me and rubbed my back.

“Thanks for trying Fred. But—what am I gonna do now? I’ve done all this work for nothing. I mean I knew there would be a slim chance, but after achieving so many scholarships and graduating Valedictorian of my class, it—feels like I’ve done countless of hours of practicing for nothing.”

“You’ll find something (n/n). Until then we’re here for you. Aren’t we darlings?” Freddie said to the boys.

“Absolutely.” Said Brian with a comforting pat.

“Without a doubt. And if you need me to bury some bodies, I’ll happily oblige.” Said Roger.

“Rog.” Lectured Brian. It was then I felt Deacy’s hand take mine and he gave me a soft smile, telling me his answer.

“You guys are the best group of friends a girl could ask for.” They all huddled around me trapping me in a loving and tender group hug.

*John’s POV*

As I leaned my head against hers, Freddie and Rog weren’t the only ones who wanted to go up to the Philharmonics and raise hell on them. (Y/n) is so gifted and incredibly talented, that I can’t understand why they wouldn’t take her.

But I knew that’s not what she needed right now, what she needed was us, but I hope she’ll want just me to hold her and assure her of her incredible talent every day for the rest of her life.

That she’ll make it big one day and she can rub it in the Philharmonics faces that she got famous without them, and that they will forever be known as the group who lost (Y/n) (l/n).

We stayed in her flat and just had a small, casual hangout filled with junk food, take outs, booze, and desserts by the mile. By around nightfall she had passed out on the couch from all the wine she had drank. Still slightly sober, I stroked the hair out of her face and slowly picked her up without trying to wake her up.

I took her down the hall toward her room and set her down on the bed. I figured it’d be inappropriate for me to remove her clothing without her consent, so I chose not to do it. But I tucked her in and prepared her a glass of water as well as found some medicine for her to take come morning for her hangover.

“You have got it bad Deacy dear.” I looked up to see Freddie leaning against her doorway.

“You’re drunk Fred.”

“I may be drunk…..but at least I’m not in denial. Unlike you two.”

“What are you talking about?”

“In all my years of knowing the darling, never have I seen her so invested with you. She’s told me you know. How much she loved you.” Part of me wanted to just think it was Fred messing with me like he always does, that the beer and wine was making him say this. But then again—there was some hope in me that wanted to think that (y/n) loved me the way I loved her.

I looked down at her and brushed some strands of hair out of her face and couldn’t help but stroke her soft cheek with my thumb. She stirred tiredly but leaned against my hand and even clung onto my arm.

“Just tell her how you feel and put us all out of our misery. Cause honestly Rog and I are sick and tired of the fucking pining.”

“Why can’t you just keep your busy-body nose out of this?” I said annoyed.

“Fine, but I’m not giving up till you both grow a pair and finally admit your feelings for each other. You’re simply meant to be. You’re her lobster.”

“Go to sleep Fred you’re talking rubbish.”

“Again I may be rubbish, but I’m not in denial.”

“Goodnight Freddie.” I said as I walked up to him and gently shoved him aside so that I could quietly close (y/n)’s bedroom door. I walked back over to her and couldn’t help but stroke her cheek again.

God what I wouldn’t give to fall asleep with her every night, and to wake up to her every morning. Seeing her first and last part of the day, that would be the perfect heaven for me. I lay down beside her but I didn’t get under the covers, just so she wouldn’t be freaked out come morning.

I stroked her cheek and she moaned tiredly and what she did next stunned me. She scooted closer to me till her head was resting over my chest. I almost wanted to move her but the second her arms wrapped around me, I knew I didn’t want to. I stroked down her head and whispered to her.

“You’re talented love. And—so beautiful. Goodnight (y/n). I—I love you (y/n).” with a kiss to the crown of her head, I fell asleep holding her in my arms.

*My POV*

It had been about three months since my rejection letter. Of course I’ll mention the next morning after my ‘cheer up party’ when I woke up to see me sleeping on Deacy, I won’t deny that I was shocked that I had actually forced him to stay with me. But he assured me that it was alright and that he was happy to provide some comfort to me in my sleep drunk stage.

And I don’t know how he knew about it, but Freddie’s constantly teased me about it. He says he’s determined to let us see the light and finally admit our feelings to each other, but I think he’s just full with a bunch of bullshit.

No matter how much I want to admit my feelings, I just have this feeling Deacy won’t reciprocate my feelings.

That was until I received a message from Freddie telling me that he’d like to meet up for lunch as compensation for being a pain these past few months. Figuring I’d get a free meal out of this, especially since Queen’s first album has been doing good on the charts and they are currently in negotiations with a record label.

I met with Freddie his place only to find that answering the door was Deacy.

“(Y/n) what….what are you….I-I mean not that I’m not happy to see you but…..”

“It’s okay Deacy. Freddie told me that he was willing to make up for his constant harassing of our ‘ordeal’ and buy me lunch. What about you? What brings you here to Fred’s”

“Actually he invited me here for the very same reason.” Oh that son of a bitch! “Think this could be another scheme of his?”

“Quite possibly, you know Freddie.”

“Ahh (y/n) darling you made it! Come on we have a special lunch cooking in the kitchen.” Freddie said as he pulled me into his flat and directed me and Deacy towards a table that was set up like what you would see in a fancy restaurant.

However instead of a white tablecloth it was a white bedsheet, instead of a grand candle set, it was two scented candles from the Yankee candle shop, with a bottle of wine set up.

“Have a seat my darlings.”

“But the table’s set for two.” I said.

“I know.” He grinned. Deacy and I looked at each other nervously and turned away blushing. Since we were trapped, I took the first step and scooted one of the chairs out. But before I could scoot my chair back in, Deacy came up and ever the gentleman that he is, scooted my chair in.

“Thanks Deacy.” He smiled bashfully and nodded before taking his seat opposite of me.

“Good afternoon madam and monsieur. I am Roger Taylor and I shall be your sommelier today. No wise cracks please.” He spoke the last part towards Deacy who merely held his hands up in surrender.

“And in the kitchen is chief Brian May preparing a delightful Italian dish for you both.” Freddie said as he set down the wine glasses in front of Deacy and I.

Roger poured us a thing of Sangria wine and they walked towards the kitchen. I fiddled around with my hands that sat in my lap and Deacy said.

“I can’t believe they would resort to this.” I’ll admit that kinda stung a little. Was he—offended that he had to do this with me? “I—I don’t mean to offend you (y/n), I hope you don’t think that. I’m only referring to this bizarre delusion Freddie is under.”

“Oh yeah it—I mean he can live in his own fantasy world most of the time. Mad as a hatter I used to call him.” Soon Fred came in with a plate of pasta.

“Here we are my darlings.” He set the plate down along with a basket of bread.

“Uhh Fred, there’s only one plate.” Deacy said.

“Oh is there? Silly me. Sorry my dears that was the only clean plate we had. Someone forgot to do the dishes this week.” Freddie said speaking towards Roger. Roger cut his finger along his throat telling him to shut it. “But I hope you enjoy it either way my lovelies.”

The two of them turned away but that wasn’t until Fred stopped and said.

“Oh silly me, Rog. Mood music please.” Roger grinned and went over to the vinyl record player and turned it on and soon Elton John’s voice began playing. I blushed heavily and I saw Deacy look at Roger with a deadly look and I think he even flipped them off, but of course Fred and Rog didn’t take it seriously and just walked away.

“I mean…..it’d—be a shame if we just let this pasta go to waste.” He did nod in agreement and we both shyly scooted towards each other and we each took a bite of the pasta. Oh my god this was soo good! I never knew Bri was such a good cook.

We continued to eat the pasta and occasionally look at each other as the beautiful voice of Elton John continued to echo through the room. I took a few strands of pasta and put it in my mouth. However I felt my head slowly drifting right and in a split second I found myself kissing the corner of Deacy’s lips.

My heart sped up and I quickly turned away from him feeling my face burning up like it was on fire. I was probably redder than a tomato or even an apple at this point.

“I-I-I-I-I’m so sorry Deacy I….I-I didn’t mean to it just sorta….” But I was stopped when I felt Deacy gently cup the side of my face and press his lips to mine. I was frozen in shock as I felt his soft lips against mine. He separated but then realized what he had done.

“Oh shit I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that! (Y/n) I-I’d never…..” but I stopped him by kissing him again.

The two of us soon fell under the spell of the kiss as I ran my fingers through his long auburn brown hair and I felt him wrap his arm around my waist pulling me closer toward him. My brain went fuzzy and all I could focus on was Deacy’s kiss.

It was then Elton’s song Tiny Dancer came through the vinyl and as we separated from each other he asked me.

“Would you care to dance?”

“I—I don’t know how. I’ve got two left feet.”

“I can teach you, better yet I’ll let you stand on my feet.” He stood up and held his hand out to me and he said, “Do you trust me?” I looked up at him and softly whispered as I took his hand.

“Yes.” He helped me stand up and we found an open space in Freddie’s flat. He slowly wrapped his arm around my waist and kept hold of my hand with the other. And just as he promised, he allowed me to stand up on his feet. “You sure I’m not too heavy?”

“You couldn’t be any lighter if you tried. Just keep your eyes locked with mine okay?” I nodded and soon the two of us began swaying. “(Y/n)….”

“Deacy I—” we both spoke in unison. I chuckled awkwardly and said. “You go first.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah you spoke up first.”

“(Y/n) I—I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I looked at him confused. “I—I don’t want us to be friends anymore. Because….ever since Freddie brought you to see us on my first night with the band I’ve…..I’ve felt more around you. I—get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, my heart just—escalates to almost wanting to jump out of my chest.”

“Deacy I…..is it—sad to say that I feel the same way?”

“No not at all.” He said as he tucked a strand of hair away from my face. I shyly smiled and lowered my head. He softly chuckled and said. “Now I see why Freddie calls you bunny.”

“Why?”

“I’ve noticed that whenever you turn away all shy, especially when I tuck your hair behind your ear. You nose slightly twitches much like a bunny’s nose.” I groaned embarrassedly and hid into his shoulder.

I heard him chuckle as he wrapped his arms around me and I felt one of his hands stroke down my hair. I felt him kiss the top of my head and he whispered in my ear.

“Don’t be embarrassed love, it’s cute. Just like you.” I nuzzled further into his embrace and wrapped my arms around him as the two of us continued to sway. We looked at each other before finally leaning close to each other, our noses softly grazing against one another making me smile before finally our lips touched each other’s.

*Freddie’s POV*

FINALLY!!! About fucking time they admitted it to each other. I wish I had a camera right now because this was like a scene out of a movie. The two lovebirds finally admitted their feelings for each other, and sharing that magical long awaited kiss.

I know Deacy will take such good care of my darling (y/n). The two of them were destined to be together, as I said. They’re each other’s lobsters and they’ll always be that way.

I also look forward to the day they have children so that I can be named godfather and rub it in Roger’s face for the rest of eternity.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody imagine #john deacon #john deacon x reader #joe mazzello #joe mazzello!john deacon #joe mazzello!john deacon x reader #freddie mercury x reader #roger taylor #brian may #queen #queen fanfic #queen imagine #queen imagines #queen fanfiction #joe mazzello x reader

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expshared · 4 years

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this season was kind of whack, but at least we had Eizouken

Heya Camp is just kind of a lazy reminder that Yuru Camp exists, and will continue to exist in the future. You remember these characters?? OK good, just making sure. That said, did I immediately feel the tension release in my entire body when I heard the OST? Duh. Did I sing “it’s coffee time” to the ending not knowing these were the incorrect lyrics? The entire time.

I don’t know what to do with Isekai Quartet because like, objectively, I should hate it. I do not enjoy like 2.5 of the shows involved, and the addition of Shield Hero was not a welcome one. Turns out it doesn’t matter anyway because it was just Isekai Quartet and also Naofumi is Sometimes Scowling in the Background and that’s about as much of him as I want to see anyway. And yet? I do enjoy this Disney Channel Original Crossover. There’s something inherently fun about watching these characters from disparate shows interact with each other, and no matter what the original stakes were in their respective series, they’re all just doing homework and getting part time jobs and that shit’s funny when a big skeleton man is doing it.

After its first episode, Asteroid in Love was kind of a slog. This is your typical seasonal CGDGT show, and apart from that, I really can’t think of anything to say about it. I didn’t learn anything about the Extremely Niche Topic these girls are doing, and it wasn’t even that gay. Disappointing.

I was really looking forward to Toilet Bound Hanako-kun because I am a big fan of the source material, but I was pretty let down by this adaptation. It seems that they prioritized the art style and the color scheme above everything else, but that essentially just meant the entire project ended up being colored manga panels. I wanted to see them move around! There was not a single moment of animation that justified it being an anime. You might as well have been watching a PowerPoint. I can’t think of anything nice to say. Let’s move on.

Bofuri is my power fantasy. I want to play a video game so cluelessly I break it into tiny pieces and bumble into being the most powerful player in the world’s nicest MMORPG. Maple turns powercreep into powersprint. What Bofuri lacks in character development or plot, it makes up for in outrageous Maple feats. She holds the entire world in the palm of her hand and she doesn’t even know it. She named her OP pet turtle Syrup and then turned into an alien abomination unknown to the world and went on a killing rampage. This anime was Maple Crossing Online. Love you, Maple. Wreck shit, Maple.

If My Favorite Idol Got Into Budokan, I Would Die walks a thin line and what separates it from being a slobbering idol otaku engine preaching how Cool it is to Be an Otaku and an Idol Show Watamote is the fact that Eripiyo is a girl. That’s it. If you took her and replaced her with your average Joe Schmoe-san, this show would be insufferably creepy. Every time I was waiting for it to topple over, Jenga-like, it managed to right itself and straddle the tightrope. It’s not a particularly subtle piece of media, nor does it do what I was hoping it would do and engage in any sort of conversation about the obsessive nature of idol otakudom, but you know what it does a good job of doing? Portraying being an idol as a job. Just some adults putting on underground shows and selling the same CD of like two songs over and over again. I was also hoping it would address what happened to Eripiyo, maybe talk about why at the beginning she’s dressed like an office worker and apparently gives that all up to follow this kinda-shitty idol group, why this fanatic escapism is preferable, or even maybe address how gay it is? Not in the cards, though. Honestly Budokan was, despite itself, pretty enjoyable? There are some great background lesbians. Also can we talk about how consistently good the production values were on this show? Why did this have such great dance sequences? Why did this look better than Love “Has More Money Than God” Live? Actually no I take everything back this show was kind of just Idol Otaku Watamote

Hey, let’s talk about the other idol show airing this season: the completely unhinged 22/7. This show is Whack. This show operates on an entire different plane of reality. I know nothing about the actual band, so I came into this blind and oh my god. Hey guys, the plot of 22/7 is that a Wall tells some girls to form an idol unit. A sentient Wall whose orders absolutely must be followed. Why? Dunno! What happens if you don’t follow its orders? Never elaborated on. (Actually, is this a reference to Pink Floyd? I have no fucking clue.) In any case these eight girls, summoned by a letter from the Wall, are all invited to become an idol group, and then they’re magically an idol group. It’s unclear how they become successful, how they book gigs, who’s keeping the lights on at the agency, how they’re getting paid, who HR is, how their gorilla man agent found this Wall and determined that all its directives Must Be Followed, but shit, man. What follows in 22/7 is a one-member-per-episode serial that quite frankly stumbles far more often than it succeeds. One girl’s grandma died and that’s why she came to Japan. One girl had a traumatizing experience where she got lost in the woods for a week and it broke her family apart and now things just suck forever. These things are equal. One poor girl’s entire episode was about how she didn’t want to put on a bathing suit for a photo shoot and how uncomfortable she felt about it, but in the end she was made to apologize for dragging her feet for so long and takes her photo for a pin up. Yuck. Gross. Bad. The only valid girl is Jun, end of discussion. None of this even holds a candle to the finale-- wherein the girls are directed by the Wall to disband, and, defying an order for the first time, the girls return to their agency and throw shit at the Wall until it breaks down. It’s revealed that the Wall isn’t supernatural-- behind it are tv monitors, photos of the girls as children, records of their activities. A person or people are behind this. Why??? Are they being groomed?? Is the Wall a metaphor for the Industry? I’m so concerned. The girls aren’t, though, because after a little side eyeing, they ascend a staircase and wow! A Stage! Our fans are all here for our reunion tour! And then they’re fine and I guess their idol group is back together or something? Did I mention the stage where they perform? It’s at a zoo. I can’t tell if this is the most scathing condemnation of idol culture I’ve ever watched or just completely oblivious. The characters don’t engage in any sort of thought about what they’re being put through, but they are performing their final song, the lyrics of which are about how life is just too hard to keep on living, at a zoo and I don’t think you can have that sort of thing happen unless you’re trying to make a point. Right??? RIGHT?!? Dance and sing, monkeys.

Smile Down the Runway was another show completely divorced from reality. So you got your main character, Chiyuki, whose thing is that she’s Too Short to Be a Model at her father’s very prestigious modeling agency. Which, like, is valid! Let’s see some variation in the modeling industry. Let’s shake it up. Let’s lead the charge for alternative models with bodies outside of the very narrow requirements of the fashion industry. What’s that, Chiyuki? You have no interest in that? You want to be a Hypermodel? I don’t know what that shit is, I think you made it up. Our other protagonist is Ikuto, the destitute, put upon, bobcut boy with a dying mother and 3 younger siblings who is trying to pursue his dream of becoming a fashion designer. Are you beginning to sense the problem here? There is a fundamental imbalance in the presentation of these characters’ goals and situations. Also? Emotions are at an eleven, always. Characters are always acting as if they’ve just seen someone get murdered in front of their eyes even when it’s like. There’s a messed up seam. They are constantly being mortified, crushed, and having their dreams ripped away. One time, two different assholes offered Ikuto magical mom-fixing blood money when he was struggling to come up with funds to pay off his medical debt at the cost of giving up his spot in the fashion show. Wildin’

Haikyuu didn’t exactly come in like a lion, but I’m sure it’ll be more organic upon rewatching. We were laying the groundwork for much of this season so I’m expecting it to payoff later, but the beginning definitely lagged. Every time Haikyuu hints at a women’s volleyball tournament, I want a volleyball anime with girls. Man, those ten minutes we got with Kiyoko? Those were great.

I don’t have too much to say about Somali and Forest Spirit. Abe’s “Make Children” agenda feels at least a little more like a narrative choice in this anime, and I enjoyed Somali and the Golem’s relationship and their travels were in equal turns harrowing and heartwarming. And I did tear up at the end so you got me there, anime.

In/Spectre has some balls being an anime. It’s existed as a light novel and a manga and those are both superior mediums for it because let’s put all our cards on the table here-- In/Spectre is a show about talking. Five whole entire episodes take place in a car. The finale is winning an argument in an anonymous 4chan chatroom. That said, I have such a fondness for In/Spectre. I think Kotoko rocks. I think a show willing to do nothing but talk at you for two hours is badass. Sitting through this anime is like watching a podcast. I think the show engages in some great dialogue about human nature and how we prefer stories that are theatrical, narratively-driven, and have a logical cause-and-effect, instead of the truth, which is more often than not grim, and disappointing, and illogical. I like that Kotoko’s only function, in-story and out of it, is to bullshit so hard she invents alternate realities. Anyway In/Spectre is good.

There’s no praise I can lavish on Eizouken that hasn’t already been said. It’s powerful, it’s strange, it’s energetic, and it’s packaged with such love. It’s repurposed the CGDCT template into something deeply affecting. It’s an anime for people who love animation. I hope everyone watches Eizouken.

#animoose and mango #chitchat paddywhack #long post /

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brownskinsugarplum76 · 5 years

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All Grown Up, Part 1

@pennyroyalcreep thanks again for this idea! I enjoyed writing this part. I will probably write another one or two parts, hopefully in the near future. Right now it's PG-13-ish, but there will be smut before it's over. ❤️❤️❤️

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You tug at the hem of the minidress that your best friend let you borrow for the night. She insisted that you go for something a little more attention-grabbing than your usual jeans and a T-shirt, and you're still getting used to it. She also insisted that the two of you get to the venue super early, so you would be guaranteed a spot right at the foot of the stage. You're standing there now, with no clue of what to expect.

She has been raving about the group, Led Zeppelin, for the past couple of weeks after getting the tickets. She said everyone knew from their albums and word of mouth that they were an excellent, wild, new band destined for stardom. Everyone knew except you, it seemed.

Your friend was so put off by how oblivious you were to the band that she stopped talking about them. She said you’d just have to experience them for yourself to understand.

And you really did have to wait until the concert to understand what the fuss was all about. You never listened to the radio; your time was spent listening to classical piano works over and over again for inspiration and technique. You are in the music program at your school, pursuing your passion, and you have scant time for other pleasures in life.

The lights in the concert hall dim. The techs move to the sides of the stage to make room for the band, who enter under cover of near darkness.

Three musicians are poised to strike. And then there's the singer, who is a tall reed of a man in tight clothes with overflowing locks. You are curious to take in his appearance when the lights go up.

The first song, an overpowering onslaught of psychedelic blues rock, begins. It is nothing like your favorite concertos--it is loud, fast, and heavy. The latter is a term you’d heard recently, being bandied about by your classmates, but you never understood what it meant until this moment. The music slams into your ears, sets fire to your senses, makes your heart race.

The slender front man is nowhere as smooth as Sam Cooke or The Supremes, acts you’ve heard through the walls of your sister’s room. But you understand that that’s the point. He wails with the pitch and intensity of an approaching fire truck. He bellows audibly without aid of the microphone at one point. He holds notes long enough to make you breathless when you think about how passionate and powerful he is on the stage, and how he must similarly express himself in intimate moments. You realize that his voice is intended to be just as evocative and chaotic as what the musicians are doing, as though he possesses a fourth instrument.

He looks to be one of the youngest members of the group, but he is certainly holding his own on the stage. His singing is memorable, but his looks are arresting in their own right. His striped white pants are shockingly tight, as if they had been painted on, and a clingy black T-shirt accentuates the crisp lines of his chest and curves of his sinewy arms. But most captivating is his face--delicately youthful but undeniably masculine at the same time. There is also something very familiar about it that you can't explain.

His moves are frenzied and erratic, but his body in motion is an added bonus of the performance, as far as you are concerned.

You watch him throw his head back. With his hair out of his face, you know instantly why he seems familiar.

Robert?

Robert Plant. You can’t believe it. You haven’t seen him in several years. You became fast friends with him in the first year of class you had together, when you were on the cusp of being teenagers. You recall how he talked incessantly about acts like Elvis and Sonny Boy Williamson, and how he loved hearing you describe your piano lessons and long hours of practice. He told you that he had begun his singing by hiding behind the living room curtains and letting it all out. You told him of your dreams to become like Nina Simone.

A year or two later, things changed. You shared a quick, awkward kiss when he walked you home from school one day, the first kiss for both of you. Then you stole moments away, before or after school, to kiss a little more under the football field bleachers, where you occasionally let your hands wander over each other.

On that one fateful weekend, he hugged you when the tears welled up in your eyes as you told him you'd be moving away. You exchanged addresses and promised to write each other, but that fell apart after two or three rounds of correspondence that were spaced months apart.

You had lost track of him, and you’d always wondered what had become of him. Now you know.

Your emotions swirl. You are incredibly proud of him, but also unbelievably surprised. And then there is a low hum of arousal that you can’t deny, as it becomes more and more unbearable by the second. There's the thought of the fun, sweet exploring you once had with Robert, at alarming odds with a desire to be with him in more adult ways.

These thoughts surprise you, because you intended to remain a virgin until you wed. But a reunion with Robert is too irresistible to ignore. You feel pretty sure that kisses won't be enough, that he has a good deal of experience under his belt now. The way he moves and howls, and the way most of the girls in the audience have their eyes on him are a dead giveaway.

He seems a bit more mature, more dangerous as a member of his roguish band, but in his smile there is still a bit of the boy that you knew. You can tell performing is a great source of enjoyment for him. He was right, years ago, about the stage being his home.

As the band plays, he grabs the hands of the people in the front row. When he comes to you, his smile is the brightest flash imaginable. He recognizes you instantly, even proves he remembers your name by mouthing it. He kisses your hand, grins broadly, and returns to the microphone stand once the band stops playing.

“Before I introduce us, I'd like to extend a special welcome to someone who was near and dear to me a number of years ago, someone who encouraged me to keep singing when I just wanted to hide behind my mum's curtains. I'm up here, in part, because of you. Thank you, and we must get reacquainted after the show!”

The crowd cheers while you blush and your best friend sends you a murderous look. “You knew Led Zeppelin’s cute singer all this time?” she demands incredulously.

“Uh, yeah, but I didn't know it. We were close when we were younger, but I haven't heard from him in a while.” You say this in your defense while offering an apologetic smile.

“I can't believe it. Well, it sounds like he wants to be close again! Lucky you! You have to introduce me to him!”

“Sure!” You're still stunned. You'll process your emotions later, when you're face to face with Robert and he can fill in the blanks of how he ended up in England's hottest new band. For now, you let the music wash over you, think of the memories of the past, and marvel at the strange, new mixture of butterflies in your stomach and an insistent pulse having been awakened in your core.

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The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.

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sweetdreamsjeff · 5 years

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That Was So Real: Jeff Buckley's Collaborators Tell The Story Behind 'Grace'

8/23/2019 by Steven Edelstone

Celebrating its 25th anniversary, the album is being reissued today alongside the release of four full live sets.

“Hey remember that riff you played me at your parents’ place when we were playing guitar on your bed?”

It was April 1994 and singer-songwriter Jeff Buckley’s classic debut album, Grace -- which turns 25 today (Aug. 23), and is being celebrated with a major reissue via Columbia/Legacy Recordings -- was essentially done, set to come out in just a few months. Buckley, then 27, had recently enlisted his friend Michael Tighe, just 19 at the time, to play guitar in his live band as he was gearing up for what would become a grueling, almost two-year world tour.

He convened the rest of his band, made up of bassist Mick Grøndahl and drummer Matt Johnson, to record some B-sides at Sony Studios in Midtown, Manhattan. It was Tighe’s first rehearsal and it began with Buckley asking him to play a guitar riff he showed him at his parents’ place in the West Village about a year and a half prior.

The song quickly became “So Real,” a track that would eventually be situated at the heart of Grace, a stunning alt-rock track that would break up the hushed fingerpicked guitars of “Lilac Wine” and “Hallelujah" -- the latter of which has remained in the public memory long after his death, and still serves as the introduction to his back catalogue to many.

“I played it, and he got behind the drums and started singing the melody to the chorus, and we kind of knew it was something special,” Tighe remembers. “We did the instrumental and that night, he just took a long walk around Hell’s Kitchen and came back and had the lyrics and the melody for the verses and he laid it all down in like two takes. Afterwards, he was like, ‘I want this song to go on the album.’”

“When Jeff took what he did and put his vocals on it and his lyrics, I couldn’t believe it,” Johnson adds. “I thought it was unbelievable. I was like, ‘Oh my god, this guy is amazing!’ I loved what he did, and I was so impressed with the way his melody was so unimaginable, given the instrumental track. In a million years I never would have thought about that.”

But there was one issue: Buckley wanted to add “So Real” to the tracklist in the place of “Forget Her,” a sorrowful and dark, yet direct song that higher ups at the label, including producer Andy Wallace, wanted as the lead single. Buckley now wanted it to remain unreleased entirely.

“It’s the one thing with the album that I wasn’t happy with, that “Forget Her” was left off -- because it was absolutely intended to be part of the album,” Wallace explains, noting that the song was 100% done at the time. “I remember we took him out to dinner, Don [Ienner, Chairman of Sony Music Label Group], Steve [Berkowitz, A&R executive at Columbia who signed Buckley], and me. If I recall correctly, the main point of that dinner was, ‘Reconsider Jeff, blah blah blah.’ He was adamant, and God bless him, he stuck to his guts.”

Jeff Buckley's Manager On Why He Waited 21 Years To Release Memoir: 'It's Raw To This Day'

For as great as the ultra-personal “Forget Her” was -- the song was eventually given a legitimate release years after Buckley’s tragic 1997 death on the Grace (Legacy Edition) compilation in 2004 -- it wasn’t necessary to launch the New York-based singer from legendary local live act to a worldwide cult phenomenon. Though the album was dogged by slow sales Stateside, eventually peaking at No. 149 on the Billboard 200 albums chart almost a year after its release (he was initially much more successful in Europe and especially in Australia), it was eventually certified Platinum by the RIAA in 2016, 22 years after it hit record stores.

Now, 25 years after its release, the album is being reissued by Columbia/Legacy Recordings, complete with the release of four full live sets: Live at Wetlands, New York, NY 8/16/94; Live From Seattle, WA, May 7, 1995; Cabaret Metro, Chicago, IL, May 13, 1995; and Live at Columbia Records Radio Hour.

But what became Grace was almost a radically different sounding album. Signed on the strength of his renowned residency at the now-closed East Village venue Sin-é, which saw Buckley perform a wide array of covers and original material each Monday night beginning in April 1992, Columbia initially mulled the idea of a debut release that would have reflected the sparse, solo-electric spirit of the shows, which were marked by his sense of humor and incredible crowdwork (check out his mini cover of Pakistani legend Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, sung over the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” riff). Though some songs in that vein would make the eventual album -- his covers of “Hallelujah” and “Lilac Wine,” originally by Leonard Cohen and James Shelton (and made popular by Nina Simone and Eartha Kitt), respectively, were the most prominent examples -- Buckley, as well as Wallace and Berkowitz, decided to go in a different direction.

“He wanted to do a band album; he didn’t want to do a solo thing,” Wallace says, who has since worked with Coldplay, Paul McCartney, and The Strokes, amongst dozens of other high profile bands. “There was some talk about that, whether it was best to do something that reflected what he was doing at Sin-é, because he was so good at it. It’s hard to do a full album of just the solo thing, especially because so much of his magic had to do with his persona and his live interaction with the audience. That’s virtually impossible to capture on a record, at least with the same impact.”

The label agreed on the condition that they would put out an EP recording of one of the Sin-é gigs, which was later stretched out into a full LP in 2003. Released in late 1993, it included two originals, as well as stunning renditions of Van Morrison’s “The Way Young Lovers Do” and his take on an old French song, “Je n’en connais pas la fin.” This served as a way to introduce Buckley to an audience outside of Lower Manhattan, hint that more music was on the way, and allow him to pursue forming a real band.

“He just always wanted to be in a band, that was his dream,” Tighe says, who has since written songs alongside Andrew Wyatt for Liam Gallagher, and worked with Adele. “He idolized Led Zeppelin and the chemistry that bands have -- to a degree, the family unit that a band has. I think he really wanted that for a long time.”

Though he now had a trio, made up of Grøndahl, Johnson, and himself, to record with -- Tighe wasn’t added until the recording sessions were largely completed -- Wallace still wanted Buckley to record a bevy of paired-down solo versions of all of the songs. Most nights while recording in Bearsville, New York, a small town in the Catskills, Wallace would have him go out to the live room after dinner -- maybe with a glass of wine -- and perform his Sin-é gig without stopping.

Live Jeff Buckley Recordings Will Soon Be Available for Streaming

It was in this setting that Buckley was most relaxed (“He definitely seemed like he was most comfortable when he was playing live in general,” Tighe believes), and it allowed him to unwind a bit, while still recording. This is one of the main reasons why so much solo material has been released since his death on various legacy albums and compilations: There’s a still-unreleased version of “Hallelujah” with an extended minor key intro floating around somewhere, Wallace says.

While a lot of the song arrangements were hammered out in pre-production rehearsals, this was an incredibly new band, very much still feeling each other out. Some of these songs were born in the recording studio, including “Dream Brother” -- which, like “So Real,” was marked by the instrumental track being recorded before Buckley had even written the lyrics or melody.

“My musicianship I wouldn’t say was great at the time, but I did feel like I was resonant with Jeff emotionally -- and just in terms of the raw quality of listening to music as music,” Johnson remembers, now the drummer for St. Vincent since 2011. “The depth of his listening showed me how to play music in many ways. The sensitivity to his voice… It was kind of scary sometimes. I felt like a bull in a china shop. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be in his band. It was formative, and it made me who I am.”

Song after song was then cranked out in that big, ambient room in Upstate New York. From the wild quiet-loud dynamics of “Mojo Pin” to the magical Kerl Berger-arranged strings on “Last Goodbye,” it was obvious that they were working on something extraordinary.

“There’s never a turning point where a light goes on, and you’re like, ‘Oh my god, this is an incredible album!’” Wallace says. “But I can remember the first time that I really went, ‘Wow, this is not just a young guy with a great voice and a great ability to entertain an audience. It was probably the first time I went to see him at Sin-é and he played ‘Grace,’ which I had never heard before... I remember very specifically, looking over at [Buckley’s manager] George [Stein], ‘Where did that song come from? I’ve never heard that!’ And he said, ‘Oh that’s one of Jeff’s originals.’ That was the first time I felt, ‘Wow, there’s something really special going on.’”

The album would take Buckley and his band around the world multiple times over, even returning to play the same metro areas multiple times in the same year to develop his fanbase, with a heavy investment by Columbia. Always the consummate live performer, Buckley would sometimes leave his own bandmates stunned.

“There would be some nights where he would do some things with his voice where it would completely blow me away,” Tighe remembers. “The thing about performing with him is that he managed to cast a spell over the audience and because of that voice he had, he did the same with the band members. It was like we were in a bit of a trance most of the time. He really had that kind of power to his voice.”

If anything, those around him remember Buckley most for his passion and his sense of humor. Whether it was seeing him light up when meeting his hero, Jimmy Page, after a show at a beautiful theatre in Melbourne or just joking around in the tour van, he had a sensitive and magnetic personality that lives on in everyone that knew him personally.

“There’s a line in one of his songs on [the posthumous release, Sketches for] My Sweetheart the Drunk, ‘I miss my beautiful friend,’” Wallace says, tearing up over the phone as he recites the lyric from “Morning Theft.” “Every time I think of that, I miss my beautiful friend. And I’ve never stopped missing him.”

#Jeff Buckley #That Was So Real: Jeff Buckley's Collaborators Tell The Story Behind 'Grace'#the story behind grace #release of four full live sets #Grace reissued #Grace 25th anniversary

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aweirdkindofyellow · 5 years

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Chasing the Missing Paths Pt. 3

Alex and Emma keep crossing paths, yet the universe just won’t allow them to be together

Sometimes we cross paths with somebody and take it for granted, only to regret not finding a method to stay in contact to keep paths aligned. It could be that cute guy you sat down next to on the bus or that charming girl who helped you pick up your books after you tripped in college. We’ve all had those mini crushes that we kept secret, only to forget. And so, you never see them again. You’ll remember them for a few days and then forget they ever existed, or they swarm your mind forever, making the agony worse. But what about the people that we bump into more than once at the most random of moments? They first seem like the stranger we’ll never talk to before, but then we see them again and again. Of course, eventually there will be communication along the lines of ‘hey, I saw you that one time at that one thing’ or maybe the flirty ‘are you stalking me?’, but what if the circumstances aren’t right? What if there’s always something holding one person back? This is a series of those events.

Part 3

The third encounter happened a little further from home. Well, if taken literally and not figuratively. It was 2012 by now and both Alex and Emma happened to be in the same building on the other side of the country. This was LA, the city where dreams came true. Or, at least, that was for aspiring musicians and actors, and only a small privileged portion of the people actually got to make their dream a reality. For Emma, however, the dream was back in New York. She still went to school on the east coast, she just happened to be in LA for an internship of a few months and was working on graduating. Alex was all over the place. He lived on the east coast, recorded on the west coast, and toured all over the world. The hectic lifestyle only made him restless whenever he was at home and had nothing to do. He loved his job and wouldn’t trade it for anything. So, now, where did these guys run into each other? At a recording studio in the aforementioned studio. Although technically labelless, Alex’s entire band was working on an album to come back as the band they wanted to be instead of the one they were instructed to be. It was quite a reasonable reason. Alex and Emma literally bumped into each other in the break room one afternoon. Emma was looking at the selection of fruit while Alex was getting some tea for his throat. The latter took a step back, causing him to knock into the other. “Oh, sorry!” Alex yelped, turning around to see who he had practically assaulted. “It’s fine,” Emma brushed it off. The bump wasn’t that bad, she was nowhere close to being knocked over. “Emma?” Alex frowned, wondering if he really had managed to encounter the girl from karaoke yet again. While he could still recognize her, she looked a little different. Her blonde hair was lighter, probably from the California sun, and she wasn’t wearing a cute dress, instead having gone for some simple plan blue jeans and a gray t-shirt. She nodded and took a good look at the guy. Once she was able to place him, she noticed that he hadn’t changed a bit. “Alex, right?” “Yeah!” He laughed in surprise. “It’s been awhile since you saved my ass.” “I’m assuming the flowers worked.” “Flowers? Oh right! Flowers! Yeah, they really did help.” He nodded, having briefly forgotten about that second time they met. “Anyway, what are you doing here?” “Oh, I’m doing an internship here,” Emma told him without giving any further details. Alex waited a few seconds to see if she would elaborate, but she didn’t, so he just grinned. “Awesome! I’m working on some music right now. If you want, you can take a look.” “Sure,” she shrugged and quickly grabbed an apple, “I’m taking a break, so I’ve got some time.” And so they took the elevator one floor up. Emma followed Alex until the end of the hallway, where he made a sudden right and walked into a room with a heavy wooden door. There were four other people in the studio. Emma assumed that the one at the control board was the producer, while the other three were just sitting around on a couch or office chairs. They had to either be friends or people Alex worked with. Emma didn’t even know Alex did anything related to music. “Hey guys, this is Emma,” Alex introduced as the guys were all staring at her in confusion. “I just wanted to show her what we’re working on.” “I recognize you,” the only guy with black hair pointed out. “Did we sleep together?” “No,” Emma said bluntly and scrunched up her nose, which Alex thought was adorable. “She’s the girl that sang with me during karaoke,” Alex clarified, hoping they would remember as well. They were all just blanking. “... after Megan walked out?” “Oh right!” Jack, the guy with the black hair, snapped his fingers. “The girl who didn’t want to give me her number cause she didn’t know me! Or Alex. But you guys obviously know each other if you’re here now.” “We don’t really know each other except for that evening,” Alex explained, seeing now that he had brought up a complete stranger without knowing anything about her except her name. “But Emma’s doing an internship here.” “Oh, so you want to be a producer?” The man at the panels said with a smirk, liking that somebody would want to follow his profession. “Oh, no. My internship isn’t here in this building. I meant in LA,” Emma made clear, hoping she didn’t come off rude. “No, my internship is with a vocal coach. I’m just doing my graduation project here.” “So, you want to be a vocal coach?” The guy with the shortest hair, Rian, assumed. “No.” “You are confusing,” Alex chuckled and scratched his head. Had he decided to show some crazy person the things he was working on? “Well, can you give Alex some vocal coaching?” Jack asked while spinning on his office chair. “Cause he sounds like shit.” “I don’t think I’m qualified for that…” Emma excused and took a bite from her apple. “You are just getting more confusing with every question you’re answering.” “Okay, well, it’s quite a long story, but if you want to know…” she started telling them. “I’ve always been in a school for music and theater and decided to continue after I graduated and went to college. So, they want us to get some experience. But you can’t exactly join a musical with no experience, so it’s a never-ending cycle. I’m getting some experience with my internship with a vocal coach and I’m writing a song with other students for our graduation project, both will look good on my resume once I do do auditions. So, I’m here to record a ‘musical’ song I wrote with classmates, and I worked with a vocal coach training students. Hence, I don’t think I’m qualified to give you tips because I don’t think you’re writing broadway songs here. Unless you want help with your articulation and expression.” “So you want to be a broadway star?” Alex wondered if he understood the story that was all over the place, getting a nod from Emma. “But you’re in LA?” “Because of my internship and to record, everything else is back in New York.” “Huh… interesting…” He nodded, understanding now that Emma wasn’t just some random talent at a karaoke bar, but that she had actually pursued it and worked for it since she was a kid. “I mean, you’re right, we are in a rock band, but I’m always down for vocal warm-ups.” “I don’t think I can teach you anything you don’t already know. And something tells me you don’t need practice singing and doing a dance routine at the same time and don’t need to know how to put emotion into your singing.” Emma didn’t understand why they just wanted her help. “Well, don’t songs always have emotion?” “I mean more than just quieter smoother singing when you’re singing a ballad or a harsher louder singing when you’re mad; I mean making the script and music seem like one and not like separate components.” “It has to all be part of the act,” Alex added, finally making sense of the sentence that had ran circles in his mind after seeing Emma at the flower shop. He didn’t get what she had meant back then, but it all made sense now. The song was part of a musical, that’s why it seemed like she knew the entire song: she just simply did. “Exactly,” Emma agreed with a nod, spinning the apple in her hands. “Anyway, I have to get back to my own project, we have a lot to do and a very strict deadline. If you decided to really need my help, I’ll be somewhere in the building.” She said goodbye, getting a chorus back from all the guys, before leaving the studio and closing the heavy door. Alex let himself fall down on the couch and pulled out his phone, waiting to be directed what he had to do. Jack, however, just kept staring at Alex in disbelief. “Dude, go after her!” “What? Why?” Alex laughed at Jack’s determination. “You guys obviously hit it off. Ask her out!” “Umm… I still have a girlfriend,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Then I want her number,” Jack whined, still thinking the girl was super hot. “She won’t give it to you,” Alex disagreed. “What, why?” “Cause she doesn’t know you,” he teased with a wink.

#all time low fanfiction #Alex gaskarth fanfiction #all time low #Alex gaskarth #all time low imagine #Alex gaskarth imagine #chasing the missing paths

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risingfire17-the-weeb-trash · 5 years

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Amuto Fic (Working Title)

A/N: This is the first chapter in what I hope is going to be a multi-chapter fic. Also, if anyone has any ideas for a title, please send them over. Dedicated to my precious babies: Amu and Ikuto! Also, trigger warning for an abusive relationship (her ex was a massive dick).

Also, shoutout to @oodlittlething and @noviceotakus-blog for proofreading and offering tech support!!

~~~~~

The ringing phone shocked 16-year-old Amu Hinamori back into the present moment as her close friend Berkeley Walker laughed at her startled expression.

“Spacing out again, were we?” the latter asked with a kind chuckle. Berkeley was one of Amu’s best friends, by her side ever since she started at her new high school in Cupertino, California, two years ago, after moving there with her parents and younger sister from Japan. Berkeley, herself a transfer from Albuquerque, New Mexico, (which, she assured Amu, was as different from San Jose as the latter from Japan, despite being in the same country) was a loud and confident girl, tough when the need arose, but surprisingly calm and level-headed. She was on the volleyball and martial arts teams at their school, and had met Amu in their homeroom class freshman year; the two transfers had learned to navigate their new school together. Amu was so happy to have found someone as strong as Berkeley to count on during her first year in America!

Today they were on the bus to meet their friend Suzie Chen. They had befriended Suzie last year, before she switched to the private girls’ school she currently attended following her father’s company’s relocation across town. Though she was doing well at her new school, she said she missed her friends terribly and couldn’t wait to see them today. The studio where she studied violin after school was giving free promotional lessons today, and despite Berkeley’s claim that she “100 percent lacked that kind of coordination,” Suzie had successfully convinced the girls to attend. Amu was also uncertain whether she possessed any sort of musical talent, but was dying to see Suzie, and figured the violin would be fun to try out, at least once. Suzie’s violin had such a lovely sound, peaceful and warm like a springtime afternoon spent frolicking in meadow blossoms. But just now, Amu had been thinking of another violin, slower, more melancholy notes, and a kind man with a terribly sad smile….

“I hope it was a nice daydream, Amu-chan,” chimed their acquaintance Yuki Yotoba sweetly as she walked to the front of the parked bus, waving good-bye to the two girls. Yuki-chan is so kind-hearted, even after I spaced out the entire time she was on the bus with us…I’ll have to make it up to her later! Thought Amu to herself. Yuki, aiming to attend nursing school, volunteered almost every day after school at the hospital, so they didn’t see each other much, but happened to be taking her bus today. A quiet, sweet-mannered girl like her would be a perfect nurse! She would definitely need to properly apologize next time! Maybe if she kept taking violin lessons, she could see Yuki-chan more, and become better friends with her!

Amu grinned sheepishly, looking down more than necessary to fish the still-ringing phone from her bag in an attempt to hide her flushed cheeks. How silly! How long had it been since she had seen, or even thought of, that person anyway? She retrieved the phone, answered the video call, and was greeted with Utau Hoshina’s beaming face. Amu was ecstatic; Utau was one of Amu’s closest friends from Japan, though they could rarely talk with Utau’s busy schedule. She worked so hard, having become a Japanese pop sensation while still in middle school, and was now, at age 19, singing internationally and also acting, having landed a major role in a hit TV series being filmed in Los Angeles, all while pursuing her degree in communications! “Moshi-moooooooooooooosh,” Utau sang into the phone in a playful voice. “Oh, hi Berkeley! This is perfect!” she exclaimed, switching to English for their American friend. “Did you two get your tickets for this Saturday?”

“Yes we did, thank you so much!” The girls were practically jumping out of their seats now. This Saturday, Utau was performing in nearby San Francisco, and they would see each other in person for the first time since her concert there last year.

“Good, I’d better see my two biggest fans there!” she said with a wink. “After all, I’ve been working super hard for you!” After a brief pause, she added, “Oh, I think you’ll like the opening band too, it’s a local one performing especially for the San Francisco concert.” Berkeley squealed with excitement.

“A band from here? What kind of band?”

“Indie rock. I met them last time I was in SF. A bunch of sweaty, grungy-haired guys,” she said with a grimace, “but their sound is nice. Soft guitar rifts with a piano. Just got a violinist too, pretty classy stuff. Now if only they would wash their hair more often! They better not embarrass me!” Amu’s stomach tightened slightly at the mention of the violin, remembering a certain Indie band Utau had briefly been involved with while they were still in Japan. An Easter project. Angsty pop music with a sad violin….

“-so not fair! Just because he’s a jock doesn’t mean he doesn’t wash his hair! Besides, you’ve never actually met him!” They were talking about Utau’s boyfriend and Amu’s former classmate, Kukai Soma. He was in his final year of high school in Japan, diligently studying every moment he wasn’t participating in extra basketball practice. A star player and stellar student, his dream was to secure a basketball scholarship to UCLA so he could get a US visa and move close to Utau. She acted like it didn’t matter if he came to America or not, but she always asked him how his UCLA application was going, adding a “not that I care particularly.” Kukai was shining with confidence, so sure that he would secure that scholarship no matter what! It must be harder on them than they let on, thought Amu, to live so far apart, as they have for most of their relationship, since Utua had started touring internationally shortly after they started dating over three years ago. But they were so strong and supportive of each other’s dreams. Oh please, please let Kukai-kun get that scholarship!

“Amu, please tell Berkeley that Kukai isn’t grungy!”

Amu chuckled. Utau may pout, but Amu knew she enjoyed the teasing, especially when it gave her an excuse to talk about her boyfriend; Utau had confided that it helped make him seem less far away, not that it bothered her, of course. Amu rolled her eyes and smiled. The girls stopped laughing just in time to hear their stop announced and began to gather their bags. “You two have a violin lesson today, right?”

“Yeah, Suzie’s studio is giving free lessons today, so we decided to try it!” Utau’s softened, then narrowed mischievously as she broke into a teasing smile.

“Amu, will you become a great violinist like Ikuto?” Again, Amu caught herself blushing. This time, Berkeley caught her as well.

“Ooh Amu, you’re blushing! Who is Ikuto, a cute boy?”

“As if! Ikuto is Utau’s man-child pervert of a brother! And he’s lucky he was able to record music, because he certainly can’t keep a real job!” she said a little too loudly, all the while cursing her cheeks for blushing so brightly and begging them not to turn redder. Berkeley laughed as the bus pulled up to their stop, while Utau just narrowed her eyes, smiling even wider with a “hmmmmmmmmmm.” Amu wanted to melt away. But why? Ikuto Tsukiyomi really was just her friend’s man-child pervert of a brother. Why did everyone think he should be anything else. Even Tadase….

Suddenly Utau’s face was a great bright smile again. “Well, ladies, my break is over! I’ll see you both Saturday!” The girls said good-bye as they exited the bus, Suzie waiting for them in her school’s uniform and carrying her violin case. Berkeley called out to her in her loud, emphatic voice (a credit to her Midwestern roots, she had explained):

“Oi, Suzie, look at our prim, proper paragon of wifey material! You ready to school us in ‘etiquette befitting a lady,’ or whatever it’s called?” But before they were fully in earshot of their friend, Berkeley clapped Amu on the back and whispered, “You’ll tell me all about Ikuto later, right?” She ran ahead with a carefree smile and wink.

It was true that Amu had never told Berkeley about Ikuto, even though she was her closest friend in America, knew about all her friends from Japan, and had met most of them, at least electronically. Kukai-kun she had met last year through a video chat with Utau while she was home for a visit. She had joined Amu in Skype calls with Nagihiko Fujisaki and his boyfriend Richie Preston, who both studied dance in England. She followed Nagi-kun’s dance videos on Instagram, and had even seen videos from his days as Nadeshiko. Berkeley frequently chatted with Rima Mashiro, Amu’s closest female friend in Japan. Rima-chan and Nagi-kun had dated for a while, but broke up after he moved to England for high school. Not everyone could handle a long distance relationship as well as Utau-chan and Kukai-kun, after all! Rima-chan and Berkeley turned out to share a love of comedy, so despite the latter’s “uncouth American manner,” Rima “approved” of her. Geez, that girl could be such a tsundere at times! Why can’t she just admit that she loves talking to Berkeley?

As did Yaya Yuiki, who, practicing for her dream of becoming a preschool teacher, took it upon herself to give Berkeley regular Japanese lessons via Skype. Amu had tried to tell her teaching preschoolers and teaching a high school student Japanese weren’t exactly the same thing, to which she responded “But if she knows that little, it’s almost the same thing right?” Honestly, Yaya-chan could be the uncouth one at times! It wasn’t Berkeley’s fault she didn’t know much Japanese! Apparently most American schools don’t teach any foreign language until high school, and even then only the Spanish of neighboring Mexico! Really! How did any of their students go to school abroad? Amu couldn’t imagine starting high school in America without having taken English since elementary school!

Berkeley had never met Kairi Sanjo, but knew him as the polite boy from Amu’s emails. He was too old-fashioned for the social media that kept Amu in constant communication with the rest of her friends, probably because it’s too “worldly” for his devout samurai lifestyle. In his final year of middle school and top in his class, he was applying to schools in Europe and America. He has even applied to a school in San Francisco, so maybe Amu would see him again soon!

She had shown Berkeley pictures of him at his sister Yukari’s wedding to Yuu Nikaido. Berkeley had met Yukari Sanjo-san, Utau’s manager, at last year’s concert, and knew Nikaido-sensei had been Amu’s teacher in elementary school. Amu had let it slip that those two used to be bad, but she let Berkeley think she was only talking about Sanjo-san’s addiction to take-out and Nikaido-sensei’s dangerous level of clumsiness. After all, Easter, the Embryo, and the Guardians were probably things she could never talk about with anyone, no matter how close the person or how fond the memories. Besides, that was all so long ago; they were good people now, a sweet couple with an adorable child, a 3-year-old girl named Su Nikaido. The name always made Amu swell with pride.

Berkeley knew of Amu’s mentees, Rikka Hiiragi and Hikaru Ichinomiya, now in middle school, and both knew of her, though she hadn’t talked directly to either. Rikka was too embarrassed by her poor English, but studied and looked forward to properly introducing herself in English someday, and Hikaru was busy with his intense studies and taking on more and more control of Easter, aiming to be able to run the company on his own by the time he came of age. Though he still found time for surprise visits to cheer Rikka-chan on at her track meets, always saying he “just happened to be free, no big deal,” when she jumped for joy to see him. Poor boy, thought Amu, Rikka doesn’t read the mood very well, and will take him at his word until he tells her how he feels honestly! When she told Berkeley about it, she responded that from what Amu said about him, he seemed like the type who wasn’t entirely aware of how he felt to begin with, which made a lot of sense to Amu.

Berkeley had a true gift for understanding people in that way. She pretended not to notice the inner conflicts people either didn’t understand or tried to hide, but she could tell, and when she did, she would give an elongated, kind of knowing glance, as if to say: “when you’re ready to talk, I am here.” And that look made people want to talk to her about it, not least of all Amu herself. Berkeley should really study to be a therapist, because she would make a great one!

In Amu’s case, a much-welcomed therapist. In the last year, Amu’s guardian characters had all been reabsorbed into her, first Ran, then Miki, then Su, and finally Dia. She knew it would happen eventually. As children grow up and become their would-be selves, they no longer need these selves to exist outside of them. When it happened depended on the person and how well they matured into their would-be selves, but losing a guardian character was a natural fact of growing up. The girls assured Amu that they would always be there inside her, but she still missed having them to talk to. How wonderful, though, that she had grown up into a girl who could talk honestly with her friends just the way she had with her guardian characters, like a normal person! And how especially wonderful to have such a good friend to talk to, all the way here in America, who she could talk openly to with no fear of judgement! Come to think of it, she thought, except for those secrets she couldn’t tell anyone, she had told Berkeley almost everything about her past.

So why, after knowing the rest of Amu’s history, did Berkeley never even get a mention of Ikuto? Well, first off, Amu wasn’t sure where to start with Ikuto; he was such a confusing man. She had met him in elementary school, and, like Nikaido-sensei, Sanjo-san, and even Utau-chan, he was once an Easter employee who corrupted and shattered children’s hearts’ eggs. But he didn’t have a choice; that was never something he wanted. Although what did he want, anyway? He sometimes seemed happiest when left alone to play violin in the park and then curl up to sleep on a bench. Though if he was truly happy, then why did the music he played in those moments seem so incredibly sad?

Other times, he seemed to enjoy teasing children, particularly Amu and her friends. He especially loved picking on Amu, telling her he loved her, kissing her cheeks, and all kinds of creepy things, then laughing at her confusion before disappearing, reassuring her that he would never do anything like “that.” (Whatever “that” was!) And then he would turn up months later, napping on her balcony, or even in her bed! Geez, he was just like a stray cat! Maybe I should have left tuna out for him, thought Amu with a smirk.

But even Ikuto seemed to know when to stop playing sometimes. Fighting Easter, there were so many times Amu could have gotten hurt, or worse. She had been kidnapped, shot at, and pushed off of buildings, and hadn’t Ikuto defied his boss’s orders countless times to save her when that happened? Why would he do that, though? If she wasn’t able to fight Easter, wouldn’t that make his job so much easier? Didn’t he get in trouble over that sort of thing? Hadn’t he actually been hurt after letting her escape that one time? He had been so helpless and alone, that Yoru had begged her, the enemy, to help him. Of course she had, because those injuries were her fault.

Maybe he actually does love you, thought a small voice in her head, which she quickly drowned out. Yeah, right! He probably just didn’t want Easter to stop him from being able to torment me, like a cat guarding its favorite toy!

Besides, it wasn’t like he treated the people he claimed to care for very well anyway. He left to look for his father, all the while cursing him for abandoning his family; he disowned his mother, still in the asylum after Aruto-san’s disappearance, and he had left his little sister Utau to raise herself any way she knew how, even if that meant becoming a puppet of Easter. Even now, he was the only one she would openly show affection for (she could be cold even to Kukai-kun), and he still would only see her if he was paid enough to perform with her. He had been especially cruel in constantly bullying Tadase Hatori, who had looked up to him and called him Nii-san.

Tadase. Amu’s first love. Their relationship had ended badly, and Amu still partially blamed Ikuto for it. Amu had admired Tadase since fourth grade, and their Guardian adventures had brought them together in fifth grade, leading to a relationship spanning sixth and part of seventh grade. He had been such a kind boy at first, giving everything he worked at and everyone he cared for his all. It was probably this absolute dedication that had drawn Amu to him in the first place. Once they started dating, he doted on her, always checking in with her, surprising her, looking for new ways to show her his love. But after they went to different middle schools, Tadase changed. He became a bit…too dedicated. It probably started with the constant texts. They had been so sweet in the beginning:

“I hope you’re having a great day.”

“I know you will do fantastic on your test today.”

“Thank you for being in my life.”

“I love you.”

But then they became weird. Obsessive. And constant. She had sometimes felt drowned in texts that made her feel…off. Like, kind of drained and even kind of nervous for some reason she couldn’t place her finger on.

“Do you truly love me?”

“There’s no one else for you, right?”

“Why won’t you text back?” He would text her in class! He may have been smart enough to get into a special middle school for gifted students, but she actually had to pay attention in class to keep up, thanks very much! Then he started obsessively asking her friends about her. Yaya-chan and Rima-chan had complained about the constant “why won’t Amu text me? Is she okay?” texts while they were in class. He would even show up unexpectedly after school, expecting long walks while he prattled on he, blissfully ignorant of her concern over her missed student club meetings or the test she needed to study for, prattled on about how he would graduate from his elite school and get a fantastic job so he could meet her every need and she wouldn’t need to lift a finger. She never felt like she could tell him she didn’t want to be taken care of like a child.

Ikuto had texted her during those years too, sending pictures of his adventures in Europe and asking about his “little Prince” Tadase. He teased them both so much, and Amu had yelled at Ikuto for constantly berating Tadase to “hurry and grow up man enough for Amu,” and threatening to steal her away. Honestly, didn’t that man have anything better to do than pick on kids? Looking back, Amu couldn’t help but wonder if Ikuto’s bullying had pushed Tadase to become so freakishly possessive of her.

Ikuto had been there New Year’s Day of seventh grade, that painful day, and Amu still wondered if things could have been different had Ikuto not been there. Of course, things had not been going well with Tadase to begin with, but they had talked about a fresh start in the new year; she loved him so, so much, and she still had hope that things could work! It started off well; Amu and Tadase met with Yaya-chan, Rima-chan, and Nagi-kun (who had only recently confessed that he and Nadeshiko were one and the same, and while Amu liked Nagi-kun a lot, she was still trying to get used to it) at the town’s New Year Festival. The girls had gotten matching hair ornaments, and Tadase had bought hers for her. Nagi-kun had offered to buy Rima-chan’s, which she had proudly refused, although not without a blush. Everyone was not-so-patiently waiting for them to finally realize they liked each other! Amu had added a new year’s prayer for them, in addition to her prayers her strained relationship with Tadase. Oh, how she had prayed with all her might when it was her turn at the shrine that year! She had felt so fresh and new afterward, and after seeing Tadase’s old, kind smile and taking his soft, strong hand, she really did believe that everything would be okay….

And then Ikuto arrived, lazily strolling behind a red-faced, pouting Kukai-kun, something about “hurry and grow up man enough for my little sister,” and “oh that’s rich coming from someone who only came to her concert because he was paid to open for her!” As soon as they arrived, Tadase had tensed, and Amu with him. As the day went on, things had gotten worse, and all because Ikuto wouldn’t mind his own damn business!

He had tried to buy her a hair ornament, saying the one she had looked too childish for her. Despite her insistence that she didn’t need fashion advice from a nosy man-child, Tadase had gripped her hand more tightly, as he had started to do lately when he was becoming jealous.

When they visited a maze to be completed in groups of two or three, Ikuto just had to crash Amu and Tadase, saying he “couldn’t possibly trust his mischievous little brother with Princess Amu.” Tadase had been silent the whole time, his face a dark shadow, and his hand had gripped hers ever more tightly. Her hand had even hurt! Despite the tension and pain, Amu had tried her best to laugh, smile, and bring joy back to their day, which had only seemed to anger Tadase even more, resulting in an even tighter grip. And that damn Ikuto had not helped, but simply strolled along whistling to himself, his obliviousness to the awkwardness he caused even more painful than Tadase’s grip.

The final straw had been in the early evening, right before show, when they stopped to get hot drinks. Tadase had gotten Amu and himself hot chocolates-huge with mounds of whipped cream and toppings, an extravagant peace offering typical of Tadase. Amu had sipped hers slowly to prevent a massive rush of sugar to her underprepared stomach, allowing the heat to sooth her cramping hand. Ikuto was taking forever getting his drink, Kukai-kun had gone backstage with Utau, and Nagi-kun and the girls were singing and dancing in anticipation of the concert, leaving Amu and Tadase to finally get some time to themselves. They sat silently, feeling each others’ warmth, watching as the night’s first stars fought to shine in the fading twilight. His hand had caressed hers so softly; how could it possibly have been the same hand to crush hers so just an hour past? It was moments like these when Amu remembered the warm, kind boy who wanted to walk forever by her side, protecting her heart, and oh, how she wanted him to so, so much! If only time could have frozen in that last perfect moment….

And then Ikuto had shown up with two apple ciders, holding one out to Amu. “Yo, Amu,” he had said with that devilish smirk of his, “I got an extra cider, you can have it if you like,” and then with a sneer at her hot chocolate, “after all, you only drink milk after a bath, no?”

Amu had screamed at Ikuto to stop saying such perverted things, demanding to know if he had anything better to do that harass children, but the damage had been done. Tadase had flown to his feet, cocoa spilled, face red, fists clenched. He had opened his mouth, but uttered no words, and finally just pushed past Ikuto, storming off. Amu had wanted to call to him, to say anything to heal his wounded heart, but her voice had been caught in her throat, no words able to reach him, no thoughts able to comprehend this situation she found herself in. Instead, with Tadase out of her reach, she had unleashed all her feelings on Ikuto in a fierce rage.

“Why do you always ruin everything? Why do you like seeing me hurt? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Looking back on it, Amu had hurled some pretty hurtful words at Ikuto, and for the first time, he had looked fazed, eyes open wide, face blank with shock as Amu continued to rant.

It was Rima-chan, in her fierce protection mode, who had stood between them with a curt “I think you should go, and Nagi-kun, in his rational, peace-keeping way, who offered, “I think there are some things to talk about that might be better discussed when everyone has had a bit of time to cool down.” Ikuto had just continued to stare in shock for what had seemed like an eternity before finally turning and walking away, slumped and defeated.

Amu’s friends had tried their best to help her enjoy what was left of the festival, as she had tried to take joy in their kind efforts. Rima-chan had shown her a comedy routine she had been working on, breaking her rule of only showing complete work (a rule she now broke frequently with her comedic partner Berkeley), Nagi-kun had offered to put his hair up and talk to her as Nadeshiko, an gesture met with a vigorous offer of hair ribbons from Yaya-chan and a jealous pout from Rima-chan. Both Nagi-kun and Kukai-kun (who must have been surprised to rejoin them and ask about Tadase only to be met with tears and sad glances) offered to talk to Tadase, “help him resolve things, man to man,” as Kukai-kun had put it. They had watched skits and acrobats, jugglers and dancers, Amu and her friends, and she laughed and smiled with gratitude for them, almost forgetting her heartbreak, but when a concert agent rushed past them, screaming into his headset to get Utau ready faster because “that damn violinist cancelled his opening act,” Amu’s heart tightened, and she took a bathroom break that became a long walk by herself.

She hadn’t meant to travel so far, all the way to the abandoned fence at the edge of the festival grounds, but she had found what her heart was searching for: Tadase, head down, covered in shadow and gloom. Oh, how she had run to him, so determined to set things straight and heal both their aching hearts once and for all! But when she had met his eyes, she had met with a crazed glare, piercing her from under disheveled hair.

“Oh, you finally showed up,” he had almost growled, as if he was so angry he didn’t even see her worth talking to as a person anymore. Amu’s stomach had been filled with so much dread, but still she must push on!

“Tadase-“

“Do you really only drink milk after a bath? Should I have waited to get you chocolate till you bathed? Would you have drank it then?”

“Tadase, I-“

“Why the hell do you let him talk to you like that? Do you like that?”

“No one can stop his teasing! You know that! It’s not like it means anything! He’s a adult, for heaven’s sake! An immature one, but an adult! He’s not…not like us!”

“It’s not just him! Everyone loves you, and you just let it happen like you like all the attention! What about Kairi? He confessed to you, didn’t he? Did you ever actually tell him no?”

“He…he didn’t really give me a chance to before he left, did he?” She stammered, not understanding just what he thought was going on. “Besides, I think choosing you is a clear enough rej-“

“And Kukai liked you too! Did you pretend not to notice?”

“What are you-? Kukai-kun is with Utau-chan!”

“And have you seen the way Nagihiko looks at you? Although it’s not surprising; you even spent the night at his house!”

“We thought he was a girl and you know it! Don’t you dare…Nagihi-no, Nadeshiko was my best friend!” This was when she had started to cry. Amu cared for Nagi-kun, and was happy he could be his true self. But at that time, Amu was still feeling the lost of her first female best friend.

Her tears had only made Tadase snarl. “And now you cry for him?! You cry for Nagi, for Ikuto, who won’t you cry for?” and after a pause, “you were supposed to be mine only, but who doesn’t your heart belong to?” And then he had grabbed her wrist, holding it over her head, backing her up against the fence.

“Tadase, you’re hurting me!” she had screamed into vacant space, all festival-goers still at the concert. She had struggled against his grip, only to have her other wrist captured and pinned to the fence, escape impossible.

“But you let Ikuto do this all the time, don’t you? Am I not good enough? Should I try harder?” His grip even tighter, Amu was crying. She had wanted to scream that he wasn’t making any sense, that this wasn’t the Tadase she knew. She wanted to beg for her old Tadase back, but she couldn’t speak; her words were drowned out by fear and pain. Through her tears, the world had appeared to be spinning in front of her, swallowing her. Even Kiseki had begged Tadase to stop, insisting that rule by fear was not the way to get real control of the world or even one person in it, but, in that moment, Tadase rejected his guardian character as “weak,” declaring that he would be a king by his own strength. Amu had watched as Kiseki was forced back into his egg only to disintegrate forever, destroyed by Tadase’s will that was still strangling Amu, nearly breaking her wrists. Meanwhile, Ran, Miki, Su, and Dia were screaming for Amu to transform, but she couldn’t reach her Humpty Lock in her captivity. And even if she had been able to, could Amu really turn her guardian characters on the boy who taught her to accept them in the first place; did she truly have it in her him, even then?

She had never been forced to decide. Tadase had been suddenly thrown backward through the air, crumpling in a heap on the ground. Without Kiseki, he no longer had the heightened resistance to physical damage granted to guardian bearers. Even so, he had raised his bleeding head only to meet the iron claws of Ikuto’s character transformation preventing any further attack. Amu had approached cautiously, the arm Ikuto spread out to block her from Tadase’s reach unnecessary; her throbbing wrists reminded her not to get any closer. There had been a moment of silence that felt absolutely endless, where Amu was swimming in so many nightmares all swirling together right in front of her while she searched in vain for some piece of…something…something that made sense for her to cling to in this upheaved world. She couldn’t even look up as she said the only words that felt so heartbreakingly right: “Tadase, I…can’t do this anymore. Please don’t ever come near me again.”

And then she had run, unable to face Tadase, Ikuto, her friends, anyone. She ran all the way home, all the way upstairs and to her room, unable to face her alarmed parents or whimpering sister. And how could she have, how could she explain the dreadful things that had just happened when she couldn’t even make sense of them herself? Even her four would-be selves had been unable to offer useful words, and so just waited with her, silent, sad, scared as she was.

How long had she been there, braced against her door as if she could keep the hurt out? An eternity? Two? More? before her mother knocked gently on the door, promising they could talk when she was ready, but a bath and some sleep would help her most. She had also assured her that when her worried friends had called, she had let them know Amu was safe and just needed some rest. In that moment, Amu had been so grateful for her mother’s gentle understanding nature that she followed her suggestion and took a bath, massaging her bruised wrists as the hot water wore away at some of the despair. When she had emerged, a glass of milk was waiting on her desk, and Amu even had even managed a smile at her mother’s thoughtfulness. She had taken the milk to her balcony and the refreshing night breeze, only to see Ikuto sitting on the railing, feet hanging over the street below. As she stood in the doorway in shock, he had turned to face her, tears streaking his face.

“I’m sorry.”

His voice came out as nothing but a hoarse whisper. She knew he wasn’t just apologizing for what had happened to her, but she also felt it was for something other than the teasing that had caused it. She didn’t entirely understand what he was apologizing for that could move him to tears like this, nor did she want to know at that moment. On top of everything that had happened already, this was just too much.

“Amu, what do I do?”

“I don’t know Ikuto. I’m just a kid. I don’t know.” She couldn’t stand his long, sad gaze, wanting something from her she could neither understand nor provide. “Please go,” she had whispered, unsure of her words at first, and then, louder and with more conviction, “please.”

Her final glimpse of Ikuto was still burned into her mind. A smile so wide, not his usual teasing grin, but a genuinely kind, well-wishing smile, one concealing so much pain. His eyes closed, shutting in the rest of his tears as his face still glistened. “Hurry and grow up, Amu.” An uncharacteristically gentle voice, cracking at the end. And then he had jumped to the ground and leapt away into the night, his silhouette revealing the cat’s ears and tail of his would-be self.

The coming days and weeks would involve doctor visits, calls to Tadase’s parents, and many precautions in place for Amu’s safety: her parents working more from home, her friends accompanying her to and from school, and the watchful eyes of Nikaido-sensei and Tsukasa-san over her as she continued to study.

Tadase would never speak to her again, either because he was decent enough to at least do that for her, or because he knew how well protected she was and was afraid to approach her. Amu had been so shocked, scared, and heartbroken during that time, but she had so many people supporting her along the way, that she eventually learned to feel normal and once again began to shine with hope for the future. By the time she left for her new world a year and a half later, she had become able to talk about Tadase, both the good and bad, just like every other piece of her past. When her new friend Berkeley had asked if she had ever dated before, she was able to her the honest story of Tadase, a kind boy with so much love to give that it had consumed him and made him sick.

She left Ikuto out of the story, though she had thought about him for a long time, perhaps even longer than she had about Tadase. Not that it meant anything, of course. It was simply that her situation with Tadase was clear. She could mull over what had caused it or what could have been different, and she had, but the fact was that he had hurt her and she could not safely be around him anymore. There was no point in further speculation.

But Amu had struggled more to put Ikuto out of her mind. She could tell that night that there was so much more he had wanted to say, but she herself had silenced his words, that secret heart she couldn’t carry back then. But she couldn’t help wondering just what was in that heart, and how did it concern her? Would he ever tell her now? Why hadn’t she listened when she had the chance, before he had stopped talking to her?

She would hear he was back in Europe, still searching for his father and becoming quite a popular performer, but she would receive no more pictures of his travels, no more blurry phone recordings of his cabaret concerts, no more questions about school and if she was grown up yet, no more teasing. Nothing. She had half expected him to arrive uninvited when her friends threw her a going away party the weekend before she left for America. But he did not, and after leaving for a corner of the Earth so far away he couldn’t possibly reach, he eventually faded from her thoughts. Maybe that was for the best. She had so much to be getting on with; she couldn’t spend what little was left of her childhood haunted by that enigma of a man, teasing yet protective, that sad smile, that melancholy melody pulling on her heart….

Amu hadn’t realized that she was now a considerable number of paces behind her friends, or that there were tears in her eyes. Berkeley and Suzie looked back at her, concern on their faces. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry; I think some of that concrete powder or whatever got in my eyes!” She pointed to the taped off area about twenty feet behind them, where two construction workers drilled into the ground with a jackhammer, and started to laugh. Suzie, bless her heart, pulled out a handkerchief, with which Amu pretended to wipe specks from her eyes. Berkeley gave her that knowing gaze, and Amu laughed sheepishly, knowing she had some explaining to do later. When she had recovered herself, they walked the remaining block to the studio and checked in at the table outside.

“Ah, Miss Chen, Mrs. Mansfield had to take her maternity leave early, but the substitute for your class agreed to start covering early, so you will be in good hands.”

“Thank you very much, Mr. Nishida,” said Suzie in her sweet, refined voice to the studio manager. “Is everything all right with Mrs. Mansfield?”

“Baby came a bit early, but all is well. A healthy boy. Mrs. Mansfield will be back with us in about two months, after she’s had time to settle in. It’s her first, after all!”

“Of course, thank you so much for taking such good care of us all. Please send my regards to Mrs. Mansfield.”

“Surely, Miss Chen. Now, are these two sweet friends of yours here for today’s promotional lessons?”

“Yes, Mr. Nishida. Amu Hinamori and Berkeley Walker. Would it trouble Mrs. Mansfield’s substitute to take them in my class for the day?

“I’m sure it would be fine. He may be a bit rough-looking, but he seems like the type who can handle himself well. Now, Miss Hinamori and Miss Walker, loaner violins are available by the table at the start of the main hall. Once you’ve got those, just follow Suzie and let her teacher know you’re promotional students today. Have a great time and welcome!”

After they got their violins, they filed into Suzie’s class, gushing about what a sweet gentleman Mr. Nishida was, calling them “Miss!” Suzie explained that while Mr. Nishida was a very sweet man indeed, it was common, even expected, to call music students “Mr.” and “Miss,” rather than by the more common first name. Berkeley exclaimed “wow, so proper!” in wide-eyed amazement, while Amu was reminded fondly of the honorifics of her native Japan. The substitute appeared to be a few minutes late, so the girls watched as Suzie set up her instrument and attempted to copy her movements. How does she make poise look so easy, wondered Amu in admiration and slight embarrassment at her own awkwardness. Suzie assured her and the equally struggling Berkeley that it was quite normal; she had struggled at first too. The girls all giggled, having fun in this sweet moment together.

And then he appeared at the front of the classroom. His entrance had been silent, so few students noticed amidst the hubbub, and Amu might not have either if the corner of her eye had not been positioned just so at just the right moment. Tall, lanky frame clad in baggy gray and black plaid slacks, draped over an incredibly scuffed pair of black boots. A wrinkled and faded black button-up shirt, untucked, sleeves rolled up, top button undone to expose a bulky silver cross. Long indigo hair, only partially captured by the loose ponytail at the back, the rest falling into his deep blue eyes, framed by severe-looking black-rimmed reading glasses that actually dressed up the rest of his rumpled outfit. Those piercing midnight blue eyes, open wide in a shock that mirrored Amu’s own, boring into her soul to call back unanswered questions she had abandoned long ago.

Amu almost dropped her violin as he made his way to her, ignoring other students’ gossiping and giggling, the fiddling with instruments, and other reminders of the present world, suddenly far too mundane to contain this moment. He stopped a foot in front of her, leaning over her wide-eyed, upturned face, searching it as if he had left some sort of truth there long ago. Berkeley looked from one to the other with a slightly raised eyebrow, the only giveaway that her curiosity was anything more than mild.

Suzie was the one to break the silence with a soft greeting: “Um, excuse me, sir, are you the substitute instructor for this class?” He finally removed his intense gaze from flushed, trembling Amu to glance at her. When he said nothing, she continued “…I’m Suzie Chen of Mrs. Mansfield’s class, and these are my friends Amu Hinamori and Berkeley Walker, here to receive promotional lessons today. Thank you for taking over the class on such a hectic day, and if you need any help during class, please feel free to call on me.” He stared at her for a few seconds, his true attention still obviously on Amu.

“Yo, Amu,” he said, recovering some of his old confidence, but not the hint of teasing his voice had always carried. No, this was more reserved and polite, even despite the familiar language. Then, turning to Suzue, “thank you, Miss Suzie. I gladly accept your care.

He then strode back to the front to call class to order. “Attention, everyone. Class will now begin. I will start with roll call, first the studio members and then the promotional visitors. Listen up for your name.” Seeing the looks off confusion, he added, “oh yeah, Mrs. Mansfield took an early maternity leave, so for the next two months, starting today, you will be in my care. I have performed on stages in Japan, Europe, Australia, and the United States, both as a soloist and as a member of an orchestra. I have a recorded solo album and appear in six orchestral albums. I am currently working on my second solo album and collaborating with the Indie rock band Stray-t and Narrow, Stray-t spelled S-t-r-a-y-hyphen-t. We will be opening for the world-famous Utau Hoshina this weekend at the Regency Ballroom in San Francisco. Is there anyone who does not believe I possess the qualifications needed to lead this class?” At the end his voice took on an icy edge, as if daring anyone to speak out against him. When no one did, he continued: “My name is Ikuto Tsukiyomi, you can call me by first or last name. I’m here to teach you music, not some stuffy outdated etiquette. You want that, go to finishing school.” Then, locking his fierce gaze on Amu, concluded, “Let’s get started.”

Amu, trembling, struggled even more than before to position her instrument. Her mind was all at once racing at light speed and standing dead still. Her heart was pounding against her chest, and her blood coursed in her ears, dizzying her. How can he be all the way here, after all this time? What do I say? What do I do? How do I act? Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Suzie chuckled nervously, probably uncomfortable with the coarse character of her new instructor, and confused about the way he was treating her frazzled friend. Berkeley’s stare rested on the strange man as she nonchalantly whispered under her breath, “So that’s Ikuto, huh? Well, this ought to be interesting….”

#anime #manga #fanfiction #shugo chara #amuto #amu x ikuto #amu hinamori #ikuto tsukiyomi #nagihiko is gay af #tadase is a dick #sorry not sorry

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