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howggswouldreact · 3 years

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📏 The Only Tall Maknae | Wonyoung

Request: hii can i request an izone wonyoung jealous cuddles scenario with shorter fem!reader? thank uu Plot: Wonyong and the small idol Fem!Reader are in a relationship. During MAMA, Wonyoung gets jealous of her girlfriend. Words: 2,661 Genre: fluff Notes: tried to write it in a way that was closer to the thoughtless attitude of teenagers inexperienced in having a relationship as idols. there are spaces for prequels or part two, maybe. if you want, send me a plot and i will write more from this universe! hope you like it! have a nice week!

Wonyoung was happy to be at MAMA again. What made her even happier, in addition to performing and receiving all the love from Wizones, was that you were there, with her. Not exactly with her, since the location of the tables was made so that her group and yours were somewhat distant, but you both were there, giving sneaky glances at each other and dancing excitedly during more animated performances by groups you liked. You had to control yourselves, trying to be discreet, even though almost all the idols in your circle of friends already knew your closeness was something more. There were cameras there and they weren't kind at all.

You met through friends and have been dating for almost a year. Staying with her took away all your tiredness, reinvigorated your energies and left you with a happiness never felt before. She was the most beautiful and adorable girl in the world. And you were lucky to be her girlfriend. Very lucky.

Your group had made the second comeback in a year and, for the first time, your schedules were proximate. You were doing your best and she was doing her best, and you were able to meet in the meantime.

You just didn't expect to be nominated for Best New Female Artist, but Wonyoung was rooting for you, and when it came time to announce the winning group, you focused on her again and sighed.

"You are just a silly in love.", Soojin's voice sounded low in your ear, clearly mocking your "heart eyes" towards Wonyoung.

You felt your cheeks getting hot. The pros and cons of being a maknae... even though you were spoiled in many moments, your group really liked to make jokes about how you lost the bossy pose when you were with your girlfriend. And also the difference between your height and hers. It was extremely evident! But you loved it, after all, you could hide your face on her neck while you hugged.

"I'm not silly!", you said, smiling.

You turned your face to the stage, where the MC's were about to read the name of the award-winning female group.

Your eyes met Wonyoung's for a moment, looking for strength in case your group didn't win, and you gave her a bigger smile, getting back the most beautiful smile in the world.

Until they announced the name of your group.

There was a round of applause and you were a little lost, in shock, looking at your group mates for answers. Did you imagine things or did you really win? Your expression was so shocked that, at the same time, several fans were already turning into a meme on the social media. Feeling goosebumps come and go through your entire body and a light tug from Soeun on your arm, you got up and went from your table to the stage.

After that, everything went very fast. The leader, Soojin, said gratitude words to the fans, the staffs, everyone who supported the group, promises to continue working hard to deliver a good message through music, etc...

Wonyoung was very proud of you and, as your group came down from the stage and went to a part on the side of it for pictures, Yujin made a joke that she couldn't understand, but it was about the two of you. She looked at Eunbi as if she was seeking approval to come to you, but Eunbi was in a conversation with Nako about the award.

"It was pretty obvious that they were going to win, they are the best!", Yena exclaimed, when a new presentation started.

"You guys make a couple of very powerful maknaes, despite the height difference!", Chaewon whispered, from Wonyoung's left side, making her smile.

A few minutes went by and Wonyoung wanted to be able to go directly to you to congratulate you, even if not in the warm way she would do backstage, with a very tight hug and soft kisses on your lips, calling you "my love". Looking for you at your table, Wonyoung frowned. Your whole group was there, even the prize was there with them, but where were you? Were you at the bathroom?

"Where...", Wonyoung's question died in it's beginning. A few tables on the left, there were you. Holding another girl's hands. And that was enough for Wonyoung to feel her cheeks flush with jealousy and her heart sinking into her chest.

"I can't wait to take several selfies with it! It's so beautiful!", whispered Yein beside you, thinking about the award that was in Soojin's hands.

You nodded as you went up the stairs, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning aroung, shoulders and a smile that formed an enlarged heart were the first things that took over your vision, indicating that the person who called you was tall. You focused your gaze on the face, raising your head, and realized that the owner of the smile was Yeeun, as known as J, a member of StayC. And your friend and classmate.

"Hey!", she greeted you, still smiling, and held your hands. "You rocked up there! I only got time to listen to your group's album yesterday, but it's really good! Congratulations on the award!"

"Oh, thank you so much!", you came a little closer to her to allow the girls to go up the narrow stairs. "I'm in love with your album too. ASAP always manages to make me very happy, even on days when my mood is not... good."

You were not praising each other for no reason, you had known each other long enough to not need formal praises.

"I know how hard you and your group worked for it and it was really deserved.", she had a caring glow in her eyes. "I know I haven't been on this idol journey for a long time but if you need anything, I'm here. I know there may be some difficulties but we will get through them together!"

"You can count on me too, Yeeun. This is not easy at all, but we are managing to achieve our dream almost together! Can you believe it?", you said, smiling excitedly.

Until you felt the lighting of the place get a little darker.

Yeeun's eyes landed on a spot above your head. You turned around to see the reason why there was a shadow on you, and there she was. Your girlfriend.

Yeeun greeted Wonyoung, bowing, while she was standing there, beautiful and in that black outfit full of sparkles that left you mesmerized since the beginning of her presentation.

"Hello, bab-sun-babe-nim!", you stuttered, impacted by the beauty of your girlfriend.

Almost calling her "babe", you tried to fix it by calling her (actually trying to call her) sunbaenim. Even though Yeeun knew about your relationship (you had already told her since you were friends), you didn't want any strangers to know. And that place was full of cameras and ears everywhere. It was risky. But your correction to the soft nickname you used to call her only made Wonyoung raise an eyebrow. There was something in her eyes and you knew it wasn't because of the makeup.

Yeeun greeted her and Wonyoung used a polite education towards the girl of almost the same height, differentiating by a few centimeters almost imperceptible, but that, with you between them, made you look much younger than them, even though the three of us had almost the same age.

Wonyoung praised StayC's performance and Yeeun thanked her before saying bye to you both and heading to the table where her group was at.

You raised your hand to Wonyoung's but the tall girl crossed her arms.

"Hey, what's up?", you asked.

"Nothing.", her tone was harsh and you felt a small pain your in your chest, but she had a smile on her face. A fake smile. "I wanted to be the first to congratulate you, but someone has already done that.", The smile was still on her face, for the cameras, but the tone of voice was still kinda rude towards you. "I can't even hold your hands without hear you saying that some people might be surprised by it, but apparently it's just with me. But, congratulations on the award, Y/N. It was well deserved. The girls and I congratulate your group.", she turned and started walking in towards Izone's table.

"Hey, what's up, Wonnie?", you asked, hurrying to catch up with her, but keeping an expression of false happiness on your face.

"Nothing.", her tone of voice cut into your heart, she hadn't even bothered to turn around.

"Hey, you know I can't keep up with your stride, that's not fair."

She stopped on the stairs, in the corridor that led to where her group's table was, turning to you and you almost ran into her, taking a few steps back.

"Just don't!", her gaze on you was as hard as her voice, but the smile was wide open on her face, it was petrified there.

You stopped as you watched your girlfriend move on without looking back.

"I can really do whatever tomorrow morning, I don't care, I just need to get this sorted out as soon as possible."

"I just think it's too late for you to go there...", Soojin had some concern in her voice.

"Have you texted her yet?", Jiyoon asked, stretched out on the living room floor.

"Several times and she doesn't answer nor even reply my texts since yesterday.", you paced back and forth in front of the television.

"If you keep walking like this, we'll find petroleum," said Soeun.

You sat on the floor next to Jiyoon.

"None of the girls answer you?", asked Seojeong, stretching.

"Hyewon replied that she is in a bad mood and locked herself in the room after dinner."

"What did you do, huh?", Yein asked.

"I don't know!", you almost shout, hiding your face in your hands.

"Oh, go on then because one in a bad mood is one thing but two in bad mood in different groups is a punishment! Go, go!", Soojin pulled you by the arm to get up and started pushing you towards the door .

"But what about the manager..."

"We'll find a way to cover you up, don't worry!", Seojeong said and Soojin closed the door.

You went down the stairs, calling an uber.

"Do you know how late it is?", asked Hyewon, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"I know you don't usually sleep early, Hyewon. But it's a life-and-death situation!", you replied while removing your shoes in the lobby, only your socks on your feet.

"Death for whom? Only if it is for us, right? The sour mood she was in... I asked if she wanted salad and she almost killed me with her eyes!", with a tone of indignation, Sakura started to speak. "What did you do, huh?"

"I don't know!", you were about to cry. "Can I go and talk to her?"

The two girls nodded and you crossed the room to the hall like a bullet. When you opened the door, the room was dark and you already knew the way to Wonyoung's bed because you visited her sometimes. But instead of lying down, you knelt beside the bed, even in the dark, and whispered her name. You wanted to hold her hand but you were afraid. If she was upset with you, she probably wouldn't want you even there.

"Wonyoung?", you called again, this time in a louder tone.

"I can't believe you came here even after I treated you like that."

You didn't understand what the phrase meant.

"Can I lie down?", you asked, receiving in response Wonyoung moving her body to give you some space.

You embraced her in a hug, hoping she wouldn't reject it, even with her back to you. Again, her answer did not come in words. She held your arm around her.

"What did I do? Tell me so I won't repeat it.", your face was on her back.

"I'm feeling ashamed."

"Of me?"

"No! Of you??? Never! I'm ashamed of myself. I can't even look at you...", she confessed.

You were still confused, but you hugged her tighter. You wanted her to feel you there.

"You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong, Wonnie..."

You heard a loudest sigh and she turned to you, resting her hand on your neck and touching your foreheads.

"I... I was an idiot. You, your group, had just won one of the most important awards of the night! I myself know how it feels to win it, I know how rewarding it is and... at the moment I-I didn't support you because I was... jealous.", you knew you shouldn't interrupt her, she was venting out. "I wish I could've hugged you and praised you... I feel so proud of you and everyting that you have achieved... but I saw you with that girl and she was holding your hands and she was smiling with such affection, I don't know what I was feeling other than jealousy.", her voice showed a little bit of anger and fragility but she kept her hand on your neck, caressing it. "I was wondering if she was special enough to show affection like that in front of so many cameras... if you liked tall maknaes and...", at that moment you laughed. "Hey, don't laugh! This is not funny at all!", she slapped you lightly on the shoulder.

"No, babe, what's funny is that you think I could have eyes for anyone but you."

"Yeah, you go ahead and think it's funny! And if it were me with, I don't know, a short maknae like you, holding her hands, wouldn't you be jealous when you saw it from a distance, without having an idea of what's going on? Would it be funny?"

"Yah! I get it! Don't even make me think of you with someone else.", you took her wrist and stroked it. "Yeeun is just a friend from school and she was congratulating me. There was nothing else. There would never be. She knows about us and gives the greatest support! I just didn't get to introduce you decently because there is never enough time. I want you to see that you don't have to feel jealous because you are the only tall maknae I love. I love you. "

"I'm sorry for ruining everything and making you come here almost at the dawn. You shouldn't have come so late!", she pulled you into a tight hug. "But at the same time I'm so glad and relieved you came.", she whispered that last sentence.

"I would come at anytime.", you whispered back, kissing her cheek.

"It's too late for you to leave. What are you going to do? We can arrange everything for you to stay.", you were going to talk but Wonyoung wouldn't let you. "We can really work it out, make up a very good lie for the managers, take you back to the dorm quickly tomorrow very early. I imagine you have a lot of commitments now that you've won the award but... it's so late... and I want you to stay with me."

"Okay, I'll stay.", you replied, without thinking. "But I need some clothes to sleep."

"Okay, you can borrow Nako's pajamas."

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding!", Wonyoung laughed. "You can borrow one of mine. It'll be huge on you, but you look beautiful anyway."

Embarrassed, you hid your face on her neck and felt her presence for a while, a warm embrace full of a young love that was blooming beautifully. The next day, you would have to deal with your manager scolding you a lot, knowing he would be right, but for now, you would enjoy your time with Wonyoung. Whatever happened next, it wouldn't matter. What mattered now was to be with the only tall maknae that you loved with all your heart.

#izone scenario #izone scenarios #wonyoung scenario #wonyoung scenarios #girlgroup scenario #girlgroupscenarios #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung imagine #izone imagine

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strawberryjamsara · 3 years

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Keiji and Sara’s relationship throughout yttd

In which I analyze the found family dynamic between Sara and Keiji then nobody reads it. But jokes aside, I realized back when that anon asked me for my thoughts on Sara that I had enough thoughts on the relationship between these two alone for its own meta so here goes. What Sara and Keiji’s relationship means in the grand scheme of yttd.

ALSO THIS IS NOT SHIPPING SHIPPERS GET THE FUCK AWAY

Sara when she meets Keiji is distrustful of him. And how can she not be? The guy has some creepy bags under his eyes, doesn’t seem to care about the situation, and for no reason is gravitating towards her. And his response when she asks why the hell he keeps putting a random stranger in charge? “Because you’re cute.” Yeah. I’d stay within 50 feet of this guy too Sara. Especially when he’s not spilling a word about himself.

Alright we might as well get the gross part out of the way. To clear things up. In the Japanese version, the word he uses “Kawai” can be seen as a more fatherly word to use with a kid. But the comments about going on dates from himself and from Shin? Those are still there. And I still think they’re really uncomfortable and wish they weren’t in the game period but we can get thematic significance out of them.

We still don’t know Keijis reasons in game for being attached to Sara. My theory? She’s his handicap. He was told to get close to the higher scorer who could easily backstab him, and he’d be stuck with her. It just kinda makes sense to me. But since that’s just a theory I won’t lean to heavily on it for support. But let’s talk about his comments.

Keiji… well, it’s shown at many points in the game that Keiji just thinks of himself as doomed to be a bad person. It can be seen during his day two negotiations when he calls himself a killer and explains he can’t even trust himself so Sara shouldn’t really bother and more explicitly so is the classroom scene between him and Ranmaru where he says he isn’t fit to protect Sara because of his sins. The flirting is both a way to distract people, and to put distance between himself and Sara. He’s not really “protecting” her.

Okay gross bit nobody wants to talk about is over I promise we won’t talk about it again. Let’s talk about Russian Roulette. In this scene, Keiji once again tries to make Sara the leader with no explanation, but then, Sara yells at him, something he didn’t expect. And through this he actually reveals something huge. The source of his trauma. His shooting. For Keiji to have actually revealed something that big, I think that this is the first moment he began to see Sara past whatever reason he first started making her a leader. This is the beginning of their bond.

This bond gets solidified over chapter 1-2s investigation. Keiji is still putting her in charge because his handicap said to build her up for whatever reason, but they’re able to have chats, and she keeps picking at his armor. He reveals his dark sense of humor to her, and she, suspicious just sort of keeps him at arms length. Also she rides his shoulders to screw in a light and he complains which is funny. The scene post Nao also helps the two of them sharpen investigative skills together, as they discuss the mystery of Miley, and Mishimas head.

Then another significant scene. The white room. I call this scene significant because, instead of letting Sara investigate the gruesome scene of the first trial, Keiji for the first time, allows Sara to walk out. Something that will become relevant later but until then, Keiji has begun to put Sara’s well-being above serving whatever purpose he had by building her up. So keep that in your pocket while we go over the main game.

There’s only two points for the main game I want to cover. While Keiji and Sara do put their heads together a few times, Sara still doesn’t fully trust him, so I will only go over 1. When Shin brings up Kai’s emails. Keiji has been fully logical this whole time, questioning everyone’s alibis including Nao’s who he saw the emotional plea from, but when Sou brings up potentially damning evidence of Sara, he just asks if he read the emails wrong. 2. When Sara is panicking over being chosen for the final round, Keiji loudly shouts “GET A GRIP SARA!” With a serious expression. Before quickly backtracking and going back to a devil may care expression. This shows he is both already emotionally attached to Sara, but unwilling to stake himself towards giving himself to a new cause.

Anyways, he stops her from pressing the button blah blah blah, onto chapter 2! I’ve made a post about this before but it seems as early as here, Keiji is trying to talk Sara down from pushing herself further. But at this point, Sara has already dedicated herself to the role because her best friend died due to her priority to protect everyone. Keiji sees the problem and he tries to get her to rest up, but he still doesn’t spend the time to have a serious talk about it because as he says in the classroom. He isn’t fit to protect her. He doesn’t think of himself as a good person who can help her. He thinks of himself as a murderer and he doesn’t allow himself to recover from the trauma.

Sara however is starting to rely more on Keiji. He’s been willing to comfort her in her times of grief and furthermore, she has something to relate to him on. They both have deaths of important people in their lives they feel responsibility for.

There’s also the fact that Keiji sees a lot of his old self in Sara. An idealistic person, being beaten down, and worrying over the idea they might be becoming a bad person. He feels the same as her.

Not to mention… Keiji follows through on his promises. He actually tells Sara about the person he respected like he said he would which establishes a further sense of trust.

However, something that tears that sense of trust apart is the tokens scene. When Keiji doesn’t even let Sara hold 50 tokens, it raises suspicion. Sara already knows he shot a person- what more could he have to hide? That scares her away. The negotiation event is an attempt for Keiji to win back her trust. But it slowly turns into Keiji’s self-loathing session. And his declaration maybe Sara shouldn’t trust him.

However, time passes enough (and Keiji supports Sara enough in the final attraction) for them to get together and investigate in 2-2. And there’s a lot of moments I can talk about there so I’ll be just doing a few rapidfire things. So first, Sara is in peak weird girl mode and Keiji can hardly control her chaos. Second, Keiji makes a full on decision at one point to go against Sara when she’s putting herself in danger of getting caught for their search so they can hide. Third, his response to “I don’t intend to die” when he asks “will you die with me” is that’s a good answer.

And fourth… a moment I really wanna touch on… Keiji watches something that could easily incriminate Sara. It’s not just some word of mouth thing like with Shin who lied about things several times before this point. But in that moment, he still relies on Sara and says he wouldn’t feel bad betting his life on her. The message is clear. Keiji supports Sara unconditionally.

Now let’s talk about Keiji totally dropping Sara’s ass with the card trades.

The way Keiji makes his trades is very telling. He first, steals a keymaster card from either Sou or Kanna to give to Sara. This is supporting Sara, but it’s doing it in a way that supports his view of himself. That he’s a scumbag who would steal someone’s immunity just to give it to someone he likes more. And would a shithead like that be “worthy” of sacrificing themselves and taking the card for Sara? (And he knew she had it. Qtaro had to tell him for their plan to happen) no. Instead he essentially opts for a revenge plot. A plan to ensnare Shin and kill him for pawning off the sacrifice to Sara. Basically, he wanted to fuck up Shin like how he fucked up Megumi. Nice going Keiji. This is… kind of his low point in the story.

But 3-1….. man this chapter hits in all the right ways. I don’t remember 3A that much, (although I do know that Keiji shows a lot of concern over Sara potentially being triggered by Joe memorabilia) and also if you fail the Keiji Midori fight you can have Sara attempt to tag Keiji and he rejects. And how can we forget… the mr policeman flashback. As Sara says, this is Keiji’s first time opening up on his own.

And then… coffin saga. Sara through everything is not willing to let Keiji die. Although she’s had her ups and downs with him, leaving him to die is inconceivable to her with everything they’ve been through together. So she opts to sign the contract both times she is offered it.

Keiji clearly is somebody important to Sara. Important enough that Ranmaru bringing him up is enough to snap her out of her murderous trance. Enough that she throws logic out the window when she has a sign he’s okay.

Likewise, the scene in the classroom for Keiji is… a huge step. When he’s alone with Ranmaru, who is unstable, in that classroom, his priority is Sara. He turns his back to the threat to hold Sara and try and make sure she’s okay- dumb move, but it shows how far he’s come.

And again, I want to reiterate- Keiji is Sara’s anchor. At the banquet when Sara is about to give up, she imagines Keiji talking to her which brings her back in the game. Much like Joe did back in chapter 2. The message is palpable. Keiji is Sara’s new Joe. And when Keiji comes back to comfort her? He’s now fully willing to sacrifice himself. It winds up not being needed seeing as Qtaro is the one that died. But in that moment, we see Keiji has made a huge leap from chapter 2. He almost sacrificed himself for Gin. And he would’ve used his final moments to comfort Sara. He’s embraced that he’s a father figure. He allows himself to be a good person.

Anyways I don’t know how to conclude this and I’ve been writing for hours. Bababooey.

#your turn to die #kimi ga shine #yttd #keiji shinogi #sara chidouin #gothitxt

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pies-writes-and-more · 3 years

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I hate that I love you p. 11

11. Stupid Tsukishima

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Warnings: mentions of an annoyingly persistent dude (he’s not in it too much tbh lol), probably some swearing too, and a first time writer’s SMAU so might be awful lol

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader

A/N: I love a chaotic wingman Bokuto xD so just a warning: I wrote out a lot of this chapter just cause it didn’t really make sense to have the plot of this part over text haha. I hope you guys like it (i’m sorry if it’s sad!! I promise there’s a happy ending!!!!) but also the team loves y/n so much lol i love these characters ugh. let me know what you guys think :)

You watched as people slowly left the gym, Yamaguchi waving a quick goodbye before you or Tsukishima could beg him to join your awkward ice cream “date”. You hated how awkward it felt, how tense everything was between you two. Normally you would feel at home with him, not putting on a face or some kind of front, just being you. And now it felt like everything you had known was crumbling.

“Here,” you held out the jacket that had been on your shoulders for the past few minutes, standing in front of Tsukishima as he knelt on the ground, packing his things.

He raised an eyebrow, shifting his bag on his shoulders as he stood up, “It’s cold out and you didn’t bring another sweater,” he pointed out flatly. “What, don’t want to wear something Bokuto didn’t give you?”

You felt yourself roll your eyes, huffing a little, “I just figured you gave it to me to be a little shit towards him. He’s gone now so you can take it back.”

“I gave it to you to wear. So wear it, dumbass,” he shrugged, starting to walk out the door. “Let’s go then.”

You stood there for a second, still holding his jacket in your hands.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tsukishima so eager to go somewhere with anyone,” Daichi spoke up, standing behind you. You glanced behind your shoulder, smiling shyly as you looked at his jacket in your hands.

“Is that supposed to be eager?” you laughed, smiling up at him. “Honestly? I think he’s just softer inside than everyone expects. But one day, when he finds that special someone, I’m sure you’ll see it more in him.”

Daichi looks at you, kinda confused. As if there was something he thought both of you knew. “Well.. have fun!” He told you, rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward sort of smile.

You nodded and pulled the jacket on slowly before heading out the doors.

If you had lingered a little longer, maybe you would’ve heard Daichi asking the third years about you.

“Isn’t... isn’t she the one that Tsukishima keeps talking about?” Daichi asked, still a bit confused.

“Ya, the one that he spiked a ball at Tanaka ‘by accident’ for talking about?” Asahi asked, chuckling a little at how angry Tanaka got. Coach Ukai had to practically hold him back himself while Tsukishima just smirked like an ass.

“Hmm. Come to think of it, I think she was his phone’s wallpaper for a day too. But that was before Noya pointed it out and then he changed it then and there. Seemed a bit embarrassed about it,” Suga laughed.

But even though the third years were talking about it, they wondered how long it would take for you to notice too.

“Took your time, I’m starting to think you don’t care about ice cream,” Tsukishima muttered as you made your way over to his side, scrolling through his phone absent-mindedly.

“Sorry, I was talking to your captain,” you shrugged, starting to walk ahead. “But I’m ready now! Come on, it’s time for you to buy me ice cream!”

Tsukishima scoffed, catching up to you in a few moments, “As if I’d buy you ice cream.”

“And why wouldn’t you? The best way to apology is through ice cream. Or words, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say the words ‘I’m sorry’,” you smirked, smiling up at him. Even though you knew you weren’t fully ready to forgive him yet, and even though his past words still hurt… you really hated this battle between you two.

Tsukishima just clicked his tongue in annoyance, shoving his hands in his pockets. The two of you walked into town in silence, the sounds of cars passing and nearby conversations soon filling the awkward air between you two. You expected him to pull on his headphones and just ignore your existence the whole way but instead he kept them off, looking like he had something to say the whole time. After a while, Tsukishima stopped.

“Hm?” You turned back to face him, stopping in your tracks. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to know,” was all he stated with the same grumpy tone he had on earlier. “What’s going on with you and Bokuto?”

You wanted to roll your eyes, of course there was nothing going on between you and Bokuto. Your lips parted to tell him he was being stupid for thinking you two were anything more than friends, but instead, you heard yourself say, “What does it matter to you?”

Tsukishima scowled some more, standing up straighter and glaring down at you, “It doesn’t.”

“So why are you asking?”

“Curiosity. That’s all.” Tsukishima started to walk again, passing by you with a cold air. You stayed there for a moment, waiting for him to turn back and say something but he didn’t.

“Tsukishima Kei, why do you have to be so obnoxious?” You yelled after him before you could stop yourself. People passing by glanced in your direction but you were too annoyed to care.

Tsukshima paused, turning slowly to face you. Even from the distance you two were apart from each other, you could still feel his glare on you, “I’m the obnoxious one? Says the one who constantly needs my help. In school, in life, with your dumbass admirer.”

“Your help?” You laugh bitterly, glaring right back at him, “You were the one who volunteered for the fake boyfriend position, I never asked you to do any of it. In fact, I told you you didn’t have to but you just love torturing people don’t you?”

Suddenly he was looming over you, moving faster than you’ve seen him do up close before, “Torturing? Says you. You’re the one bringing some other guy to my volleyball game and wearing his stupid jacket, making me look like an idiot to the team.”

“Oh I’m so sorry to have ruined your reputation,” you mock him with your insincere apology, though you can feel yourself stepping back from his looming figure. “And maybe I wouldn’t have needed his stupid jacket if my stupid fake boyfriend had given me his instead! That gym was freezing!”

“Maybe if you hadn’t have brought some no-brain idiot to the match, I would have!”

You scoff and roll your eyes again, “As if. You’d gain nothing from giving me your jacket then anyways. You’d actually have to be nice to do that.”

“Oh I’m sorry was I not nice enough bringing you to school these past few days? Was I not a good enough friend to you?” Tsukishima felt the words leave his lips harsher than he wanted them too. He watched as your eyes displayed just how hurt you were and he wanted to apologize right away but... would it mean anything? Would you even care? An apology felt so foreign in his mouth, what would he even say?

"Don’t you remember? You told me I could ‘believe whatever I wanted to’ when I asked if we were friends... And our friendship, or whatever the hell you want to call this arrangement between us, has always felt one-sided. Honestly? Most of the time it just feels like you hate me.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened slightly, watching as you lay all of your emotions right there in front of him. Somewhere inside of him wanted to brush your tears away - he always hated seeing you cry. Why did it always feel like it physically hurt him?

But he did remember. He remembered angrily typing out that message when you had asked if you two were friends. He remembered throwing his phone across the room because he didn’t want to see if you would reply. He remembered Yamaguchi calling him that night saying that you were really upset and that maybe he should call you. He remembered wishing he could call you and tell you just how he was feeling. He remembered wishing Bokuto never came to see you and that he didn’t make you laugh so much. He remembered it all.

Did you really think he hated you? Had it really always come across that way? He frowned as he thought about all the times he tried to be nice and it just came out as witty comments, all the times he had offered to do something nice for you but there was always a teasing point to it. You had always laughed at it… hadn’t you?

“Am I wrong?” You squeaked softly, and Tsukishima realized he hadn’t said anything yet. You had been waiting for him to say something while he was searching his brain for all the answers.

“I-” he started but found himself at a lost for words. It was like the entire dictionary of words he knew had been thrown out the window and he couldn’t figure out how to string a sentence together. How was he supposed to tell you that he didn’t hate you, he lov-

“You know what, just forget it,” you cut his thoughts off, in a voice that was barely louder than a whisper. “I won’t bug you anymore.” You tear off his jacket and throw it at him and before he can realize what’s happening, your feet pick up speed and head towards your home.

You could’ve sworn you had heard him call after you… or was it just your imagination? He won’t chase after you anyways and you knew that as you ran your way home. That’s just not how Tsukishima is.

You finally let your tears flow freely when you get home, closing the door of your room behind you and throwing your phone aside to avoid any text messages anyone might be sending you. You knew that just in a few minutes, Yamaguchi would be calling you because there was no way that Tsukishima would keep this from him. What were you supposed to say? Tsukishima couldn’t deny that he hated having you around but there were so many conflicting arguments rolling around in your head.

Why would he spend hours with you studying if he hated having you around? Why would he offer to be your fake boyfriend? What about the jersey? Why did he care so much about Bokuto if he hated you?

You whine a little, your head hurting from both dehydration and confusion. Did he hate you? Potentially. But it’s not like there weren’t signs that he liked you back so... maybe he liked you?

“Stupid Tsukishima,” you mumble softly, curling up on your bed and hugging the nearest plushie you could find. Almost immediately upon realizing what you grabbed, you threw it on the floor, glaring at it like it was Tsukishima himself.

That plushie had been the cutest thing ever to you, just this morning. Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and you had all gone to the arcade a few years back and Tsukishima had won it at some stupidly impossible claw machine game. He scoffed saying he was really aiming for the dinosaur plushie but Yamaguchi insisted that once he saw your eyes lay on the sweet bear, he just had to get it for you. And after numerous failed attempts, he did.

What kind of guy does that for someone he hates?

After a few hours of crying and eventually trying to find some sort of distraction, you picked up your phone off the ground. Unsurprised, there were a few missed calls and messages from Yamaguchi... but he wasn’t the only one.

You put on a fake voice for your messages, privately telling Yamaguchi and Bokuto that tonight had really solidified your fears. Tsukishima really didn’t care about you at all, or at least never in the way you would want him to. Any hope of him confessing to you was gone.

“Don’t give up hope yet, little sis,” Bokuto told you over the phone after insisting he wouldn’t go to bed until he heard your voice. “I know Four Eyes is awful with words and with people but you should see the way he looks at you.”

“With distain?” You half-joked, curled up in your bed and sniffling softly.

“I mean sometimes but that’s just his face I think,” Bokuto admitted and that made you laugh just a little. “It’ll be okay, Y/N, I promise. Even if that means I gotta come down there and beat him up.”

Or maybe I’ll just forget about him, you wished silently before saying goodnight to your new friend. Maybe I’ll forget these feelings. But part of you knew you never would. You could hate Tsukishima Kei all you wanted, but you would always love him so much more.

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added!)

@random-fandom-girl-24 @intergalactic-mango @celestair @lucyheartfilias-wife @owlnymph @lucyrocks86 @pinkhairedsapphic @mariachiii @aurumk @sana-li @mirikusashes @earphonekiyouka @why-000 @devilkittymusic @420-uwu @scphiredrafts @fantasycantasy @its-the-aerieljeane @laninasinnombre @trashy-simp @thisnoodlewritesao3 @darling-daydreaming @yourmajestythegreatest @so-lo-stuff @ibimyeon @satan-ruler-of-hells @ahiae @kpopandstarwarswhynot @imnisneedshercoffee @ramen-maker @chelly-ilysmiwdfy @animeanxiety @kaylig02 @upwardscomma @jeppiet @simplyyyy @ashtheticals @calumsfringe @kac-chowsballs @dreamsandregrets @flamingosis

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magnumdays · 2 years

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Magnum PI - 4.06 The Devil at the Doorstep review

Starting off with the Higgy/ Miggy bits this week.

We already talked about the opening scene in the sneak peeks but I do enjoy how close they are together here.

Also when talking to their client. I guess I just love them looking pretty next to each other.

They split my faves up this week which is always a bit of a bummer, though I did hope all through the episode that she would tell all right there at the end. But she didn’t.

(Side note: Can we talk about the romantic/domestic feel of this set up? Torches, darkness, two people just coming home after work, checking in? The fact that he can clearly sense something is not right. Even we goes ‘right’ when she lies, he’s not quite buying it. And he’s hurt she’s not trusting him yet wants to give her space. At least that’s my read.)

I don’t like that she lied. Big time lied. Not just like a small thing but made up a whole thing about being at the immigration office and not getting his messages (which was both annoying and funny and and made me feel like someone was reading my comments on ‘how does that work with her visa’) and the fact that she stuck with the lie even in this scene when she’s realized this is going to be a big deal. The stolen MI6 files and everything to do with this is now about her personally.

But I do think I see where they’re going with it. Well not clearly, but they’ve been building this whole plot (Kenya - MI6 - whatever comes next) since last season. So I figure it is going to be part of what makes Magnum (and Juliet) confront their feels. Maybe.

Still it was a bit of a bummer to not much adorable Miggy banter or sharing today even if we did get Higgy kicking ass and sneaking about spy-style which is fun. I do like them showing how capable Magnum is on his own and I also love concerned-Thomas! So having them be separate for this ep was okay-ish.

Next week is drama with Rick’s new friend, and from the summary it sounds a bit like we’re getting different cases again. Magnum and Rick team up and Kumu and Juliet? Not sure how I feel about that, but hopefully we’ll get our faves working together /helping over the phone. Phone banter can be fun too!!

After 4.07 there is a two week break (I’m guessing for Thanksgiving?) and then on the 3rd of December we (presumably) get the promised Christmas episode. (Magnum Santa, Higgy elf!)

Then nothing until January 3rd. (At least that’s what Next-Episode is telling me.)

To me this means 4.08 is probably not going to be a cliff-hanger dramatic mid season finale break (or it might be, just Christmas themed?!?). So we’re not likely to get much more MI6 spy stuff until next year. And perhaps more lying this year either?

I’m a bit hopeful the Christmas episode is going to be the one that has the flashbacks with Juliet’s dad. Anyone remember when they were going to film the scenes with Young Higgy/ Dad? I think end of September right? We still haven’t gotten it but I feel like if they’re going to use it, it will be this fall?

Gold star for the fact that they upped the stakes with “if your file is released there is nowhere on earth you can hide” after Higgy was all “I’m done” because I was feeling like her doing Eve’s bidding wasn’t quite making sense. Now it sort of does!

(Also, who is loving the parallels to last week? Lies, spies, assassins, shady deals, worried soulmate? Maybe I’m reading into things but... I do hope we get some pay off to all the little breadcrumbs that’s been dropped this season so far.)

Weird coincidence. Magnum and Higgy both punch guys who look kind of similar (though Higgy’s guy has a run in with a truck too so maybe it’s not her punches so much.)

I thought they looked kinda similarly + similarly bruised? But not as similar as I thought before putting the pictures next to one another... and I don’t think it means anything. Guess someone just asked for x2 generic white guy baddie when casting.

(And boy, Magnum was not pulling any punches. Probably annoyed he didn’t have his Higgy around all day so he was a little extra punch-y + baby stealing is not nice.)

Moving on...

Quick update on the exes (I mean Lia is going to be one before long.) No Ethan mention. At all. I guess it was all to obvious she was breaking up with him last week and was pretty okay with it. Still, not a word? She didn’t have a lot of scenes with Magnum or the gang so I guess it makes sense, still a year long relationship and we’re not going to mention it ending?

Lia gone for the second episode in a row. Not complaining at all, I’m just trying to figure out what they’re doing with her character. She’s clearly going to be around for a bit more? Right? And since that’s the case I’d prefer it if she was in next week and stayed out of the Christmas episode (or neither one, but then she’ll have been absent most of the season. And then it’s like why have her at all!?!)

Rick’s friend. Shady as fuck.

Would have clocked it even if I hadn’t read the summary for next week and gotten the FBI showing up. I did like TC being all “For Rick I’ll try to be friends” at the end.

TC getting him and Cade an apartment. Not sure how I feel about this. Has he talked about it with Cade? I feel like this would be hard for the kid to accept. Also can you just randomly have a minor stay with you without being their guardian? Feel like the thought was good but not sure it would work practically and because I over think that was where my mind went!

The case: Stealing babies and telling their moms they died. Beyond heart breaking when you think about it. Horrible. My best friend just had a baby and another is having one in a month. Both said the worst thing they could imagine was the baby dying just before or as he/she was being born when we talked about fears. I totally get that too. Just like unimaginable. But as it is sometimes with 42 minute shows where you got two other plots going on simultaneously, and because what was going on, was revealed late it sort of prevented the horribleness from being fleshed out further and truly felt.

Perhaps that was the point. But imagine instead: a woman coming to Magnum and Higgins being all “I think my baby is still alive” after having run away from the guy when he got annoyed because she wanted to see her dead baby to say goodbye. I mean less mystery in a way, but tugs more on the heart strings. I mean, come on, that be so sad and a case our faves would just say yes to for working for free in a second.

Also what the heck on marching half a dozen cops in full tactical gear with like semi-automatics (very big guns at least?) into a maternity clinic? Or a hospital. Is this a thing that happens in America? I mean, gods, that was shocking to me!

They were after like one guy!?! Even busting into the house like that seemed excessive but there I get it a little. He could have weapons in his house. But still, this is a guy who stabbed one lady and stole babies with lies? Did they imagine he suddenly got his hands on a pip bomb or like a grenade launcher? Lots of body armor? Why would normal guns not work? They’re at a hospital!!! This be crazy excessive to me.

We did get this look at mommy-baby moment. Which was adorable. And maybe a tad bit weird for her if it had been real. Like three random stranger just staring at her? But she was too busy with her baby so I guess it’s fine.

Also this just makes me want Thomas looking at Higgy and their baby and I know I won’t get it and thus it becomes kinda angsty.

Final thoughts on the episode is; I liked it but not my favorite of the season. It did have some very sweet moments and I felt it fit well with the trailer we got for it. Even if I had hoped for some sort of hurt/comfort moment there at the end, based on the ‘are you okay?’ from the trailer.

#magnum pi #magnum pi review #magnum pi 4.06 #Thomas Magnum #Juliet Higgins #Miggy #My Reviews #Devil on the doorstep

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singtheskyandfightlikehell · 3 years

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BatFamily Headcanons: Stuffed Animals

In an attempt to productively combat my recent writer’s block, I’m practicing writing the batfam characters through short character study fics (which I will post once I make enough) and comparative headcanons. I might end up making short fics out of these, as well, since some of them got a bit long anyways

Today I decided to explore how many stuffed animals each member of the batfam (plus an adjacent character or two) has, what they think of them, how they got them, etc. I’ve got eleven characters on this list (and I’m still missing some, sorry)

Bruce:

Bruce put aside stuffed animals when he was eleven, deciding it was time to become serious. However, since acquiring children, he has been gifted a number of stuffed animals, ranging from a small and realistic brown bat to a child-sized bear wearing his cape and cowl. None of the children know this, but he keeps them all in a prominent position in his walk-in closet. Sometimes, when he has a particularly nasty fight with one of his kids, or he discovers something (like an injury) that they were hiding from him, he’ll tell the stuffed animals all the things he struggles to tell his children in the hopes that, one day, he’ll figure out how to express himself when it actually counts.

Alfred:

Alfred has no stuffed animals of his own, but he keeps the old, worn teddy bear that was once Thomas’ and later Bruce’s, alongside the somewhat lopsided bunny that Martha attempted to sew for Bruce when he was two. They sit side by side in a spotless glass cabinet filled with other memories that various members of the family have at one point or another attempted to cast aside.

Dick:

Dick has a pair of stuffed elephants, Eleonore and Zitka, and a teddy bear of his own, all from the circus. Most of the time they sit on the shelf under one of his nightstands, but when he has a particularly bad day, he’ll hold them all tightly until he falls asleep. If he’s crying, he finds it slows the tears to press kisses to the tops of their heads, or just smoosh his whole face into them. Sometimes, if he’s having a particularly good day – especially if no one else is sharing in his good mood – he’ll tell them about whatever made him happy. The rarest occasions are a bittersweet combination of both, the moments when he dwells on his happiest memories of his parents. When this happens, he is more likely to address them than his family, talking to them like old friends who were “there” for the things he’s recalling. It reminds him of the parties he would host as a small child, attended by his stuffed animals and his parents and sometimes other people from the giant family that was Haly’s, and for just that moment he’ll feel suspended somewhere between grief and content.

Barbara:

Barbara had lots of stuffed animals growing up, but as she got older, she gave most of them away. The only one she kept was a little otter that her father gave her for her first birthday. She doesn’t remember this, of course, but they have an old home video of that day which she’s seen a few times, and she know it’s one of her dad’s favorites to watch when he’s feeling nostalgic. She does remember the way she used to drag the otter with her everywhere she went when she was about four, and it’s so worn now that all of its original fluffiness has disappeared. She sets it up near her main computer and uses it in place of a rubber duck.

Jim:

When Babs decided she was too old for her stuffed animals, Jim was instructed to give them away at one of the Gotham children’s toy drives he helps run as commissioner. Only about half of them ever make it out of the house, because he keeps looking at them and remembering little moments that involve each of them. He has two boxes full of them that he swears he’s going to bring to the next drive, but he’s been swearing that for over ten years now.

Jason:

When Jason first arrived at the manor, he swore up and down that stuffed animals were dumb kids toys that he was way too old for. The first time Dick showed up at the manor after Jason was there, he brought a plush dog he’d picked up on the way there, unsure what to get his surprise new brother but not putting an excess of thought into it either. After all, he wasn’t about to ask Bruce what Jason might like. Jason made a show of scorn and tossing the toy in the trash, but when Dick was gone he dug it back out. When he was sleeping, he clutched the dog protectively against his chest like it might be snatched away at any time. When he wasn’t sleeping, he kept it hidden in a box wedged under a floorboard beneath the bed, alongside his other contraband. It was there when he died and it’s still there now. Every time he’s in the manor, he thinks about sneaking into his old room to retrieve it, alongside some of his other old belongings, but he never does. His reasoning alternates between not caring, being too old for toys, not wanting to set foot in his old room, and not wanting to get caught caring after all these years.

He does however have an obnoxiously long bright red snake that Roy won at some sort of archery carnival game while they were supposed to be tracking a suspect. He’d griped at Roy for wasting time with frivolous games, a complaint that was very on brand for their relationship. He’s pretty sure Roy saw through him, though, and understood the real reason he was so antsy to leave the carnival, given his soft apology later that night. He also recently acquired a floppy stingray, a gift from Lian for his latest birthday. She told him that she’d gotten to pet a stingray at the aquarium where she’d bought it, and it reminded her of him. Specifically, she’d said he was, “Kinda dangerous and maybe a little scary, but actually really soft to anyone who’s nice enough”. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that description, but the gift had a place of pride, resting atop an old model of his helmet that Roy had “defaced” with a sweet message that always made Jason smile.

Cass:

Cass grew up without stuffed animals, and was honestly a little confused at first about why she might want one. The first one she ever got was a tiny key-chain cat that was given to her by a little girl she saved. She was unsure what to make of the object itself, but she treasured it as a symbol, proof that she was doing good in the world. It was Steph who convinced her to look for more, to look for stuffed animals in her “style”. Eventually, she got two of the most different ones she could find: an iridescent octopus packed tightly with beans and made of a coarse fabric, and a large fluffy goose that squished like a cloud and was made of the softest fabric imaginable. She likes tossing the octopus lightly in the air to feel the weight of it, and faceplanting into the giant goose. She also has a big bear holding a plush heart that Steph got her for their first Valentine’s.

Tim:

Tim’s relationship with stuffed animals is a bit more complicated. He had five growing up: a dog, a bear, a lion, a rabbit, and a lamb. They had names, stories, personalities, and they were his friends (his only friends, at the time). When he was seven, he woke up one day to find them gone. His mother scolded him for his tears, explaining that he was too old for baby toys, and that his attachment to them would only hinder his path forward. For years, he felt ashamed whenever he thought of his grief towards them, because he knew they were just toys, he knew he was being a baby about it, and yet…

It wasn’t until he was fifteen years old and stumbled across an article about autistic people and the projection of feelings onto objects that he understood why he had been willing to sneak out at night to search through pawn store after pawn store and – once – the landfill in the hopes of seeing his beloved toys again. As a teen in the Wayne household, he knew he could get as many stuffed animals as he liked, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so after what had happened before. He got one giant, floppy moose, barely half a foot shorter than himself, that he clings to like an octopus when he manages to lay down, whether he succeeds in falling asleep or not. Additionally, on a night after Jason made amends with the family, Tim returned to his room to find a fifteen inch plush latte with a cute little face on the mug portion and a sticky note on top that simply read: Sorry for trying to kill you a bunch. My bad :) He keeps it on top of his dresser, and while he doesn’t really hug it, he did discover it was the perfect object for chucking at his siblings’ heads whenever the situation calls for it.

Steph:

Steph loves stuffed animals. While she never got any of the fancy brand name ones, or the luxuriously soft ones, or the hyper-realistic ones, her mom had a tradition of buying her one for every birthday, Christmas, and Easter. She soon had quite a collection, and – like Tim – she gave them all names and personalities. She played out complex scenarios with them and the few dolls she had, designing an intricate world of wild concepts and plots. She also used her stuffed animals to conquer her fears, like thunderstorms and darkness, by pretending they were all more scared than she was, so she had to be brave for all of them. Steph still has her whole collection, as well as quite a few “nicer” (though equally loved) ones that she has acquired from various Waynes. At this point, pretty much everyone in the Wayne family has given her a stuffed animal at some time or other. For a couple of years now, she has taken to posing with her massive collection and making fake family Christmas cards to send out to everyone she knows, where she will update them on the well-being of any plushie they’ve given her.

Duke:

Duke also has a great love of stuffed animals, although he doesn’t match Steph for quantity. He only had a few beloved animals growing up, all of which he’s held onto (a panda, a penguin, a turtle, a frog, a leopard, and a pikachu). Since being fostered by Bruce, Duke has taken to searching out and buying only the rarest stuffed animals he can find: an anteater, a platypus, a manatee, a sloth, and an axolotl have made the cut so far. Bruce knows about this and has taken to keeping an eye out for anything interesting whenever he’s out. After accidentally mentioning it at a gala one time, it has since become his favorite topic, as getting drawn into an intense discussion with Bruce Wayne about where to acquire strange plushies for his son elicits one of two reactions from his guests: delighted awws or hilariously awkward attempts to steer the conversation back to high society definitions of business and pleasure. At Duke’s request, a large shelf was built around the top of his room, so that all of his stuffed animals can sit comfortably and be clearly seen.

Damian:

Damian was much like Jason when he arrived at the manor in more ways than one, but his determination to prove himself above stuffed animals was certainly on that list. He sneered at his siblings’ attempts to treat him like the child he swore he wasn’t. And honestly, even after he began to lower his walls just a little, he still wasn’t particularly fond of stuffed animals. Sure, he privately thought they were cute, and sure he might (might) find himself holding one at night if it happened to have been left in his bed by an annoying sibling, but in general he preferred live animals to fake ones. Real animals had personalities and feelings, fake ones did not, it was as simple as that, no matter what Stephanie claimed. But as time went on, Damian found himself acquiring a small army of stuffed animals against his will. Some of his siblings (Jason, Tim, sometimes Duke) gave them to him because they found it funny to watch him growl about how he was not an infant in need of deceitful comforts. Some of his siblings (Dick, Cass, sometimes Duke… sometimes his father as well) would give them to him because they knew he liked animals so they assumed he’d like imitations of animals as well. Steph would just give them to everybody, every now and then. But regardless of motive, Damian soon found his room overflowing with stuffed animals that were moderately cute but ultimately pointless.

It wasn’t until a patrol a few years after he’d taken on the mantle of Robin that he discovered a solution. Tim had hidden a tiny stuffed bear in the medical supply compartment of his utility belt, a felt bandage wrapped around its little head. He hadn’t been wounded, but the young girl he’d rescued had been bleeding from a wound that looked worryingly dirty. The bear had fallen out of the pouch, right into her lap, and she’d stared at it with wide eyes, surprise halting the flow of her tears. She’d held onto it the whole time he disinfected her arm and bandaged it, and afterwards he had insisted she keep it. For the first time that night, she’d smiled. After that, Damian began taking a few of his many stuffed animals out on patrol with him, ready to hand out to any and all injured, lost, or otherwise traumatized children once he’d rescued them from their troubles. Eventually he began running out of toys he’d been gifted, even though he kept getting new ones, so at some point he begins to regularly sneak out for the sole purpose of acquiring stuffed animals to hand out. He never tells his siblings, but he suspects they’ve found out anyway, when the presents they give him drastically decrease in size.

#batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #jim gordon #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #jayroy #stephcass #my headcanons #i stole elements of the hc for dick tim steph and duke from my own personality lmao #also the only portion of this that draws on canon (to my knowledge) is the stuff about dick #i've seen stuff about him having a stuffed elephant with both of those names so i decided to just give him two #can't go wrong with extra elephants #but yeah i hope there's nothing that like blatantly contradicts any of this stuff #i'm trying to speed read a bunch of comics rn but i keep reading like 50s-80s era primarily #so there's a number of characters i haven't really gotten to yet #also i've discovered i find green arrow comics more entertaining so lowkey i keep reading those instead oops #i have a very convoluted list of what i need to read to hit the major plot points of batfam and arrowfam #but i also lowkey feel like major plot point comics are gonna tell me less about characterization #filler episodes are where its at #but there's no reading order lists that give me 'best filler issues' sorted by character

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florrickandassociates · 3 years

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TGF Thoughts: 5x10-- And the violence spread.

So, that’s it for season five. I’m still trying to sort out how I feel about the season as a whole and Wackner’s arc. I’m hopeful that writing this will help me decide.

This episode has a Previously, and it’s rather conventional. I’m guessing it’s here to bookend the season, with conveying information being only a secondary objective.

Did we see Rivi scream, “You’re done, Wacko, you’re done! Canceled! Canceled!” in the last episode or is that new to this previously? I feel like I absolutely would’ve had things to say about a) Wackner being called “Wacko,” which has been RIGHT THERE this whole time, and b) the use of “Canceled,” which is a thing Rivi would never say but is VERY thematic (you know, cancel culture and also Wackner having a TV show and also this being a TV show that’s wrapping up* Wackner’s arc).

* The way things end this episode, I’d say we’re done with Wackner. The Kings have said they aren’t sure about the plan for season six, so never say never, but I think that if we see Wackner again, it will be as part of a different arc.

I went back to 5x09 and while we do see the same shots of Rivi screaming, whatever he’s saying in 5x09 is in Spanish. So either he was saying this in Spanish or the dialogue here is totally new.

I’m a little sad that I knew in advance Robert King had directed this episode, because I want to know how long it would’ve taken me to guess. I’d like to think this first shot, of Diane flopping down on her bed in a very pretty floral print dress, then Kurt flopping down in the opposite direction, would’ve given it away. We usually don’t get shots that are both striking and kinda balanced unless RK’s directing.

This also has some big season three opener vibes—the scene where Diane turns to Kurt and says, “I’m happy,” thus jinxing the entire season.

Diane and Kurt are about to go on vacation, which means, of course, that Diane and Kurt are definitely not about to go on vacation. I’ve watched 12 seasons of this show; I know all the tricks!

If I didn’t get it from the initial staging of the opening shot, the camera panning to Diane and Kurt’s suitcases and then back would’ve been another clue that RK directed. He ALWAYS has the camera in motion.

I love that Diane’s travel outfit is a dress you could wear to a fancy party and a statement necklace. Of course it is.

And if I needed evidence that RK and MK wrote this episode (which I didn’t; it is a finale so I knew they wrote it), Diane quoting Waiting for Godot is a clue there.

I really should read Waiting for Godot, shouldn’t I?

“Wow. Educated and a good lay,” Kurt responds. I know that the political stuff between Diane and Kurt can get more than a little murky, but banter like this reminds me why they stay together and why politics never drive them apart. Also, it’s really nice to see Diane and Kurt have some fun banter that isn’t about politics.

And Diane making kissing noises and asking Kurt to meet her halfway! This just feels like I’m spying on someone’s private life and I love it. Not in a voyeuristic way, since this is actually a little uncomfortably private, but in a, “ah, yes, these do feel like real people” way. This is the kind of “a little goes a long way” character moment I always want more of, and Kings episodes ALWAYS include stuff like this.

And there it is. The phone rings as Diane and Kurt are about to start out for the airport. Diane thinks the call must be for Kurt, but it’s for her. It’s a very flustered Liz, informing her that STR Laurie’s execs are on their way to the office for a surprise visit.

If the Diane/Kurt scene didn’t tell me that Robert King directed, I almost certainly would’ve gotten it from the sudden cut to Liz, walking through the hallways and doing a million things at once with a ton of background noise. No one loves chaos the way Robert King loves chaos.

This episode STRONGLY reminds me of the Wife season five finale. It is equally chaotic and also spins a ton of plates. But, mostly, the similarity I see between the two episodes is that they are both extremely fun and captivating to watch because of how much momentum they have, but everything just feels slightly hollow and not exactly focused on the thing you want to see.

(Shout out to my friend Ryan, who messaged me the 5x22 comparison before I could message it to him!)

I decided I should rewatch the first few minutes of 5x22. I am now 15 minutes into 5x22 of Wife and 2 minutes into 5x10 of Fight. Oops.

Apparently, STR Laurie planned a surprise visit because they heard RL was dysfunctional. You don’t say!

I felt like 5x09 concluded with STR Laurie being won over by Allegra and the RL team, so this is a bit of a surprising place to start the episode. But, since Diane seems surprised too, I’ll allow it.

Now Liz and Diane have 90 minutes to agree on a financial plan! Kurt’s on the phone with the airline before Diane even hangs up with Liz.

Diane is determined not to lose out on her vacation and asks Kurt to change the flight to 8:00. “Kurt, we are going on this vacation if it kills me!” is a line I would worry was foreshadowing on basically any other show.

The RL/STRL PowerPoint template is pretty ugly. They want to call 2021 their best year yet, thanks to the deal between Rivi and Plum Meadow Farms we saw last week. Even though we saw champagne and signatures, the deal isn’t done yet because Plum Meadow can back out if Rivi goes to jail.

RK also loves close-ups more than any other director on the show; I do not love close-ups.

The Plum Meadow deal is such a big deal that for the quarter, they go from $45 million to $5 million without it. They should just not say numbers. I can believe it’s big enough to take them from a modest profit to being behind projections or whatever, but I can’t believe that they have $5 million in other business and $40 million on this one deal.

It seems that Rivi was arrested. I don’t think it is ever said in this episode why. I assume the arrest relates to his behavior in Wackner’s court, since there were police officers there, and I suppose that Rivi is a big enough deal the police would actually take him to real court, but are we not going to address the weirdness of Rivi being arrested in a fake court where his employees are being tried, then taken to a real court by the same people who just an episode ago were disillusioned with real court? This seems like a plot point.

Carmen on a frantic phone call in the backseat of a car feels very 7x22.

Who is James that Carmen has in her contacts!? And why does everyone always put Liz in their contacts as “Elizabeth Reddick” when everyone calls her Liz?

Carmen calls Marissa to go argue in Vinetta’s court since she’s on Rivi duty. Carmen doesn’t take Marissa’s job in Wackner’s court seriously and then notes that this instruction is coming straight from Liz, so Marissa falls in line.

Wackner’s case of the week is about rural Illinois wanting to form its own state separate from Chicago. There’s a farmer who feels like his tax money is only going to the big city and he wants it to stay in his community.

They’ve just now added stage lighting to the set of Wackner Rules, dunno why they wouldn’t have done that earlier!

I don’t know what standing you’d have to have to bring a case about wanting to divide the state in two to court, or if this is even something a court would or should decide, but, sure, Wackner and Cord, go for it. There are no rules!

This map splitting Illinois into two new states that Cord is holding is a dumb prop because Galena, where this farmer is from, is in the same section as Chicago. Do I pause every reference to Chicago on this show and then google information to see if the writers bothered to look it up or pretend they’ve ever set foot in Chicago? You know I do.

“Secession!” the audience screams. Does the audience of Wackner Rules really want to see this?

A Good Fight Short! And it really is short: “Stop this obsession with secession and breaking up the Union. It’s boring and it’s dumb, end of song.” I feel like that’s the thesis statement for this episode, or one of them (that this episode seems to have about ten thesis statements is kind of my problem with this episode, tbh). This episode is very much about danger of things becoming too fractured—the COTW, the copycat courts, the firm drama—and I feel like the writers come around to just saying no, this is enough, we need structure and consistency.

But more on that later. MUCH more on that later.

Marissa is swearing more because “the world has required it.” She notes this to Wackner as she calls him out on the secession case. Cord barges in.

Take a look at the employee of the month poster on the back of the door at 5:39. Then at 5:40, look at what’s in the box just to the right of the center of the screen: it’s an employee of the month poster with Wackner on it! Cute easter egg. (Would Marissa definitely notice this and have questions? Yes. Is this here as a cute easter egg for eagle-eyed fans? Almost certainly.)

“Insane is just one step away from reality if you get people to believe, and you know what makes people believe? TV.” Cord explains when Marissa asks how they can possibly be litigating this case. That’s thesis statements two and three, folks. The first is that if you get people to believe, then anything is possible, which sounds like a tagline for a Disney movie but is actually super dangerous; the second is that reality TV is a way to persuade people and change opinions.

So we’ve got: (1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. Let’s see if there are more.

(Yes, these theses do kind of add up to a whole—The rules don’t matter, so if you persuade people, through reality tv, you get factions of people believing their own sets of rules and facts—but what I'm interested in tracking throughout this episode is how well the writers actually bring these theses together.)

(And this is setting aside that key themes in previous episodes, that I think many of us were looking for resolution on, included outlining the flaws with the extant “real” justice system and exploring the role of prison in the justice system. From this episode, I don’t think the writers ever intended to really tackle either of those issues. That’s fine—I'm not sure that TGF has something to say about prison abolition and I don’t want a thought experiment where the writers actually try to fix the legal system—but feels a bit disjointed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but 5x08 and 5x09 needed to do a better, clearer job of setting up this finale. The key themes of Wackner’s arc were always present, but they needed to slowly narrow the scope so the resolution felt inevitable and clear. Instead, we spent time on things like parking spaces (when we could’ve had a real plot about how Wackner’s court gains legitimacy through violence, incarceration, and playing on people’s frustration with the real systems) and Del’s focus groups (when we could’ve instead done a plot about Wackner gaining fans who wanted to use his methods to do ill). Everything I just mentioned in the parentheticals is in the show! It’s not subtext! We see it all! We see Cord use violence and prisons to enforce Wackner’s rulings; we see the cops turn to Wackner out of frustration; we see that the people drawn to Wackner Rules and to Wackner’s court are increasingly sounding more and more like right-wing populists! I can’t be too hard on this arc because, again, all these ideas are there. I’m not coming up with them on my own!)

I’m just saying: this ending would’ve been a lot clearer and a lot more interesting had the writers focused on what I mentioned above instead of the distractions of the last two episodes.

Whew, that was a ramble. Hope you’re ready for more rambles.

On a similar note, I’d like to reiterate my problems with how the writers used Marissa after the private prison reveal. I don’t have much more to say than what I wrote last week, but it’s another example of the same problem. Marissa objecting to Wackner’s court because she notices what it’s becoming and how Cord plans to use it for political gain (two Illinoises (??) changes the Senate and the Electoral College...) always was going to be part of the endgame. Marissa only seriously objecting after the fourth or fifth line Wackner crosses feels bizarre.

Cord does NOT like that there is another court, and wants to protect Wackner’s IP. Wackner, as we saw last episode, does not feel threatened by the other court. In fact, he seems to be excited by it.

I love Liz questioning Diane’s outfit like it’s unprofessional. It’s a little low-cut and showy, but I don’t think unprofessional is the word I’d use for it.

Now they have 45 minutes to decide The Future Of The Firm and Diane wants to be considered a name partner. Oh, that debate is still raging?! Every time I think it’s done it comes back, which should probably be a sign to Diane that her options are to leave and start something new, jettison Madeline and the others, or step down. Staying on as name partner and calling it a black firm is just not an option.

“Diane, there is a split in the firm that...” Liz starts, before asking some associates to leave the room. Ha! The reveal Liz and Diane aren’t alone is a pretty fun touch.

“The Black equity partners don’t want to be in your work group,” Liz informs Diane. “Because they think they’ll be punished by this firm?” Diane asks. “No, that’s paranoia. We don’t punish here,” Liz responds. “Of course you do. My fracking client. My union client. The Black lawyers who work on those cases—they're considered traitors” Diane says. “Because those CEOs are racists,” Liz counters.

Lots going on here, and I’m not sure I understand it all. Why would the equity partners—who are partners—feel like they’re being punished by being in Diane’s work group? (And also what does a “work group” mean and why haven’t they talked about it in the past?) When Diane starts talking about the lawyers who staff her clients, she’s not talking about equity partners; she is talking about associates.

And people are giving associates shit for working on Diane’s clients whom they happen to be staffed on!? That’s sad, though believable.

“So what do we do? Only bring in clients who can pass the racial smell test?” Diane asks. I mean, actually, yes. IF the goal is to be a black firm and to have that designation mean something in moral terms rather than marketing terms, then yes.

“It’s okay if you’re a drug kingpin like Rivi, but it’s not okay if you want me as lead attorney?” Diane says. Also, yes. Diane makes good points here.

“Diane, this is not about you,” Liz counters. Um, sure, but it has to be about something, Liz. Unless you’re trying to build a firm you don’t control that makes 88% of its revenue from a drug dealer (40 million out of 45 million this quarter = 88%; I told you they shouldn’t give me numbers) but happens to have black people in charge, you have to grapple with this question. I don’t think anyone who’s fighting for the firm to be a black-led (not owned, bc STRL) business is the type of person who thinks that having a black-led firm that does all the same shit as any other firm is in itself a good thing, so you NEED to address your client list. Madeline is anti-Rivi, anti-Cord, anti-Wolfe-Coleman (the rapist guy), pro-social justice, and pro having a black led firm.

“I mean, why... why do white people personalize this?” Liz asks. “Oh, now I’m just a white person?” Diane responds. I... don’t know what to do with this! Liz is right that Diane is taking this personally; Diane is right that Liz needs to deal with the rest of the client list. But no one is saying the things that REALLY need to be said: That all their decisions are meaningless in the shadow of STRL, and that deciding to be a black led firm isn’t the end of the discussion if they haven’t decided what types of clients they want to have.

“What happened, Liz? Last year we were intent on an all-female-run law firm,” Diane starts. Oh, THIS AGAIN! Diane never learns, does she? She never seems to realize that no one she’s approached with this idea is NEARLY as in love with it as she is. She probably still wonders to herself why Alicia—who partnered with her at the end of season seven basically just because it was the easiest, most frictionless thing to do—didn't seem more committed to their firm.

“Diane, there is history here that we are trying to...” Liz says, but Diane cuts in to note that women (women like Diane Lockhart!) have history too! In fact, she’s spent “35 years fighting gender discrimination to get to this position.” “And we have spent 400 years fighting racial discrimination to try and, you know...” Liz starts, before cutting herself off to get back to the ticking clock.

Sigh. Just talk about the actual thing instead of talking around the thing, guys. Diane is obviously deserving of A name partnership, in the abstract. This is an undeniable fact. And while Diane is definitely making this about herself rather than the big picture, I don’t think Liz trying to trump Diane’s 35 year career with the history of black people is going to win her any arguments? Like, just say what you mean and say it clearly. What Liz, I think, wants to express is that Diane’s individual accomplishments aren’t the issue here and everyone thinks she’s deserving (though Liz suggested Diane was not deserving a few episodes ago, which I didn’t understand then and don’t understand now). The problem is that Diane is trying to fight a battle that’s about something much larger than herself with, “but I'm a good lawyer!”

And that’s KIND OF what Liz is saying here, if I add all her sentences up and read between the lines, but, again, why not just say it?

“Alright, now we have 43 minutes to fix race relations, gender relations. STR Laurie’s gonna fire our asses, and you know it,” Liz says. I am curious what that would look like. Wouldn’t that just mean that STRL wouldn’t control them anymore? I’m sure being fired would be bad and all, but wouldn’t it free them from the contract they wanted out of last year?

“Let’s split the firm down the middle. I hire half the lawyers, you hire the other half,” Diane suggests. What does this mean? Why are you hiring your employees? Huh?

“You hire the white associates, and I hire the black associates?” Liz confirms. This seems like a very bad idea that would make things a lot worse and open them up to lawsuits! I also still do not know what they’re even talking about. And I don’t know why Allegra isn’t a part of this conversation.

“I’m not saying it’s good. I’m just saying it’s what we’re left with. It's what we can agree on,” Diane says. I really wish I understood what “hire” meant in this context because I don’t understand why they have to split anything or why this has to be done now and I don’t understand why this would possibly be a good solution. Can you imagine the backlash when people realize all the white people report to Diane and all the black people to Liz and that people were taken off of the accounts they’ve worked on for years to accomplish this? And this must be something that the employees would know about eventually; otherwise they could just randomly assign half to Liz and half to Diane.

I’m sad Madeline isn’t in this episode because I feel like we needed to see more of her POV as well as the associate POV. I don’t really understand the divides at play within the firm or what the staff and other partners are asking for, but I suspect it isn’t this.

Hallucination Jesus is back, and at least there’s actually a point to him this time (he shows up when Jay is in Vinetta’s court and reminds Jay that Vinetta will rule based on her religious beliefs). I still dislike the hallucinations.

Jay advises Marissa, who is Jewish, to talk a lot about Jesus in her defense.

Charmaine Bingwa is really great as Carmen, and obviously she is not fluent in Spanish, but it’s so funny to me that the only time you can hear that she’s Australian is when she’s trying to say Oscar like she’s speaking Spanish.

"I know you’re hiding something when you speak English,” Rivi says to Carmen. Heh.

“Community court” is such a nice, unthreatening term for referring to Wackner and his copy cats. Thanks for that, Carmen!

It’s a smart plan to mention Jesus a lot, I guess, but Jay and Marissa both should’ve realized that Vinetta is too smart to tolerate obvious pandering. I’m a little surprised Jay doesn’t get up and argue since Marissa is, obviously, not familiar with the New Testament.

Marissa wins this round with facts and logic.

Why is the judge who was handling Rivi’s previous charge now in bond court? Make it make sense.

I like that Carmen calls out the ASA for swearing hahaha

Why... would this Matteo kid just casually mention he was holding a gun, omg.

In Vinetta’s court, you can be charged with murder and tried because... you had a gun and also there were murders at other times. Coolcoolcool no problems here.

Community courts for civil cases? Sure. That’s basically arbitration. Community courts for criminal cases? Bad, bad, bad idea.

Vinetta’s reasoning: “Those murders happened on our street, and the police haven’t convicted anyone because they don’t care. We care. This is self-defense. And how is it different from your court?” Aside from the whole imprisoning people in her basement thing, Vinetta’s not wrong. I almost brought this up last week but hesitated because I couldn’t remember the details enough to decide if I wanted to recommend it, but there’s a book I read a few years ago that seems relevant here: Ghettoside by Jill Leovy. Again, been a while so don’t take this as a wholehearted endorsement or anything, but from what I remember, the central issue at the heart of the book (it’s non-fiction) is that a poor black community (I think in LA?) doesn’t trust the police (in part) because the police don’t solve murders, and then with no way of getting justice through the court system, there’s more violence as a stand-in for justice. https://www.vox.com/2016/8/26/12631962/ghettoside-jill-leovy-black-crime

I’m not sure if that’s QUITE what Vinetta is saying but it seems similar, and it’s a decent point (though not a justification for her court). Why should she trust the system to improve her community when it’s ignored her community for years?

I like that the writers chose two very different, very understandable characters for their community courts. It’s easy to see why Wackner and Vinetta feel the need for alternative courts; it’s easy to see why others would trust them. This arc doesn’t really work unless there’s a legitimate frustration with existing systems...

Marissa calls Wackner’s court a “joke,” which she should understand by now isn’t the case. (Marissa’s smart; she knew it wasn’t a joke the second she saw David Cord get involved.)

Vinetta accuses Wackner of copying her court, which alarms Marissa. This isn’t addressed again, and I don’t know if it’s true! I could really go either way on this. On the one hand, I absolutely believe that Wackner saw/heard about it, liked it, and did it himself without thinking much of it—and if this is the case, then the ending where Vinetta gets in trouble for violating Wackner’s IP is a lot more of a gut punch. On the other hand, I don’t really feel like the seeds for this were planted. We see Wackner innovate a lot and try new things and he has an explanation for why he does everything—how much of that is Vinetta? And Vinetta clearly watches the show and likes it or she wouldn’t have recognized Marissa, so it’s a little hard for me to just believe her claim when literally all I know about her is she has a court that looks like Wackner’s and she is aware of and feels positively towards Wackner rules. Also, Wackner knows about Vinetta’s court (from Marissa) and sounded excited about it last episode. Sure, he didn’t necessarily know which one it was, exactly, but I assume if he’d copied the idea and then heard about a case involving people from the exact same community where he found the idea... his reaction would be different. So IDK. My reasons for doubting Vinetta’s claim are probably based a little too much in things I’m not meant to spend that much time paying attention to.

“I fucked up. It’s in the same court, but now it’s a murder case,” Marissa tells Diane. I do like hearing characters admit when they fucked up!

Diane hears that STRL is delayed, so she heads out to help Matteo. When she goes to change into her pantsuit, she finds that she’s grabbed Kurt’s bag by mistake. “Of course. That makes sense,” she reacts.

Diane pushes her flight to the next day, also telling Kurt, “And yes, for some reason, I took your suit instead of mine, so fuck it.” I love it when the characters feel like real people.

I am not sure why Kurt is getting to the office when Diane is leaving or why Kurt is there—to pick Diane up on the way to the airport, maybe?

Carter Schmidt walks into RL at the worst possible time, threating to blow up the Plum Meadow deal. Another 5x10 to Wife 5x22 similarity: he’s in both episodes.

Liz heads out to help Carmen with Rivi, and then STRL arrives. Oops.

Credits!

One thing about Wackner’s court that should definitely be a warning sign even though it seems noble: he ignores just about every warning sign, like this rowdy crowd screaming WE LOVE YOU WACKNER or the potential interests at play in a case about secession, because he thinks his fair judgement can overcome these obstacles. If the world worked that way, there’d be no need for his court in the first place.

Is anyone representing the State of Illinois in this trial? If not, then... how is it happening?

Dr. Goat, some dude who claims to have some hidden historical document about how Illinois is actually two states, is clearly making stuff up and yet Wackner indulges him and Cord. I feel about this the same way as I feel about the Devil’s Advocate: That Wackner would not allow this to go on for more than five seconds before calling bullshit and therefore there is no reason I should have to sit through it.

Why is some guy screaming, “No taxation without representation” like dude you absolutely have representation. But of course, I’m expecting him to be logical, and the point is that he is not.

Dr. Goat’s Latin phrases—shock!-- don’t actually translate into anything like what he said. Even though this information is verifiable by a quick google search, the crowd starts screaming “Liar!!!!” at Marissa. If only I could say this felt unrealistic.

Wackner asks Dr. Goat to bring in the document.

“You look like you’re heading to the beach,” Vinetta says to Diane, who looks like she’s heading somewhere but definitely not to the beach. Vinetta asks where Diane was headed on vacation. Diane says she’s headed to Lake Como, and unnecessarily clarifies that “It’s in Italy.” She assumes Vinetta doesn’t know that... but Vinetta does.

“So you’ve been there before?” Vinetta probes when Diane says it’s beautiful there. “Just once. We don’t get away often. We thought we’d splurge,” Diane says. Vinetta stares at her and smiles, and Diane hits her head on a basket that’s hanging in Vinetta’s kitchen. If I just write out the dialogue here, it sounds like a perfectly average conversation, but everything about this conversation is so charged: Diane is afraid to look like a wealthy white woman; Vinetta’s pleasantness is pretty clearly also a way of sizing up Diane.

Vinetta shows Diane pictures of neighborhood children and young adults killed as a consequence of gang violence. You can see she’s not trying to do anything other than help her community, even if her methods are highly questionable.

Diane argues that Matteo should be given over to the police; Vinetta disagrees: “The police haven’t arrested anyone for those murders, any of these. Since the BLM movement, they’ve pulled back from our streets. No one’s coming to help. That’s why I started this court. It’s not a joke to us.” Wait I’m sorry did Vinetta just blame lack of good detective work in black communities on... the BLM movement?!?!?! Is there any foundation to this!? Why can’t it just be that the police weren’t actually doing a good job of policing/finding justice and were being antagonistic towards the community instead of being helpful and no one trusted them?? That explanation is literally right there.

Jay suggests the Jesus strategy, again.

“It’s women! We could just move on, install men,” STRL guy says. I don’t know if he’s joking, but ugh. Also, what is RL if it has neither Diane nor Liz? A bunch of lawyers who will all promptly quit when they see their bosses get fired and a few opportunists?

Kurt is watching golf in Diane’s office, and the STRL people love it. Of course Kurt accidentally makes friends with them.

Court stuff happens. It’s not good for Rivi, and then Liz and Carmen come up with a theory: Plum Meadow is stalling the deal so they can find Rivi’s more stable second and make a deal with them instead.

Wackner giving Dr. Goat a single point on his stupid little board, for any reason related to his obviously fake totally unverified document, is dangerous. Why would you signal to a crowd that’s clearly not interested in fact that they have a point? That’s basically egging them on.

I know Wackner’s judgment is obviously not 100% sound—need I remind you of the PRIVATE PRISONS?-- but I thought it was more sound than this.

Wackner shows off his knowledge of paper and proves that Dr. Goat’s document is a fake. Why... did he just give Dr. Goat a point???

Or is he moving the point from Dr. Goat to Marissa?

Dr. Goat sounds like a fake name I would call a character in my recaps long past the point of anyone other than myself remembering the joke. (See: Mr. Elk)

“The truth is ugly. The only thing uglier is not pursuing it,” Wackner tells Marissa. How is taking on a case about very obvious falsehoods, funded by someone with a vested interest in the case, that gets people riled up, some noble pursuit of truth?

STRL and Kurt are now drinking and discussing hunting, while Diane’s arguing for Matteo in Vinetta’s living room. Vinetta is—as was always obvious, sorry Jay—far too smart to fall for this patronizing bullshit. She screams at Diane and plays back a recording (on a baby monitor) of Diane coaching Matteo to lie about his faith.

Soooooo yeah no you can’t do that, that is bad, recording conversations between lawyers and their clients is not good even if it leads to you exposing their schemes...

Then Vinetta places Diane under arrest, which obviously isn’t going to end well for Vinetta.

Liz and Carmen suggest a post-nup to Rivi to see if Isabel is planning on turning on him.

“I’m going to have to kill her,” Rivi says sadly. I don’t think Rivi will ever kill Isabel because we already did that with Bishop.

I’m going to assume that Diane chooses to stay in basement prison instead of calling one of the many, MANY, MANY people she could call to get her out/take down Vinetta because she doesn’t want the situation to be publicized or further deteriorate. That said, it’s really not clear why Diane just accepts being sentenced to basement prison with a cell phone.

Love the STRL man looking at that picture of Diane and HRC. They’ve gotten so much mileage out of that photo.

Wackner’s court has no rules, but at least since it has no rules, I can’t complain about how its rules make no sense!

What is this, debate practice?! Ugggghhhhh I can’t deal with this case for much longer.

Marissa takes a breath, then decides to pursue a strategy she knows could blow everything up.

“Then why care what Judge Wackner decides? Why should you defer to him? Why defer to anyone?” Cord says that’s the point—the people have decided to trust Wackner. “So if you don’t like this court’s decision, you’ll just start a new one?” Marissa asks. “I guess,” Cord concedes.

“So then why does this matter? This court?” “It matters only insofar as we continue to agree that it matters,” Cord says. “So if you don’t like Judge Wackner’s rulings, you can just ignore them and create a new court?”

Good point, Marissa. Good point. (Does this count as a thesis?)

“I’m guessing that I will like the way the judge decides,” Cord says. Well, that’s basically a threat.

Wackner takes a break and heads to chambers—without Marissa.

Kurt goes to visit Diane in basement jail. He’s granted a conjugal visit, which means Matteo gets moved up to the bedroom so Diane and Kurt can have some alone time.

Diane is staring at an image of Lake Como in her cell. I thought it was odd she brought a printout of her vacation destination with her, so I LOVED the line where she explains that Vinetta printed it out for her. COLD. (You know who also would’ve done this if they’d for some reason had a basement prison? Bree Van de Kamp. You know what show DID do a basement prison arc I’d rather forget? Desperate Housewives!)

I love how Diane responds to basement prison by making jokes non-stop.

“I thought the craziness would end with 2020,” Diane says. Nope.

Kurt brought alcohol; Diane brought pot gummies.

I love that Kurt has never had pot before. I was going to say that I bet Diane’s had a few experiences with recreational drugs when I remembered we had a whole damn season of Diane microdosing.

Christine and Gary’s acting and their chemistry really bring these basement prison scenes to life. The writing and directing are really sharp, but it’s the actors who make these scenes something special. You can tell Diane and Kurt love each other a lot. You can tell they’re disappointed about their vacation and exhausted by the chaos of the day. You can tell they’re in disbelief over this situation but also find it funny.

Didn’t Rivi and Isabel have an adult daughter who died of COVID a few episodes ago? Weird she isn’t mentioned in this scene. Maybe from a different marriage/relationship?

Isabel called the SA’s office because she thinks Rivi’s a threat? I think this is a power play.

Heh, Carmen saying, “Shut a black woman up!?” in disbelief in court. Love it.

Isabel instead flips her story and supports her husband and fights for his release. With no intervention from Plum Meadow, this gets the judge to free Rivi. I don’t really understand what’s happened here or why. I get the resolution, but I don’t get why Isabel called the SA or why this went away so quickly. I still don’t even get why Rivi’s been arrested.

Diane and Kurt put up Christmas lights for ambiance and talk about how they never go on vacation.

“I wanna see the pyramids on this coast!” drunk & high Kurt insists, hilariously. “I mean hemisphere. I like the Aztecs. They, they care about people.” I’m not going to transcribe the rest of the dialogue because it loses its magic when you’re not watching the scene.

After some fun banter about travel and movies, Diane changes the topic. “I should quit, shouldn’t I? That judge upstairs? She looked at me like I was the most entitled white bitch on the planet. And that’s the way they look at me at work.”

Kurt tries to say that’s not true, but Diane knows it is: “Yes they do. I’m the top Karen. And why do I care? I mean, I... I could find another firm. I could quit. I can’t impose my will on people who don’t want me.”

YES. I see a lot of debate over what the “right” thing to do is here. But I think we are long past “right” and “wrong.” At a certain point, this stops being about absolute moral truths. If Diane doesn’t have the respect of her partners and employees, that is a very real problem for the firm and for Diane. How can she continue to impose her will on a firm that doesn’t want her, all the while claiming to be an ally? (The back half of that sentence is the most important part.) Forget whether or not Diane “should” have to step down. Forget what’s “fair.” If the non-Diane leadership of RL thinks the firm should be a black firm, and the employees of RL think so too, and Diane just doubles down on her white feminism, she’s creating an even bigger problem for herself and ruining her reputation in the process.

Kurt stands up on the prison cot and warns Diane she might make a decision she’ll regret. This scene is so cute. Why can’t other shows do drug trips where the characters just act silly and have great chemistry? Why does it always have to be some profound meditation on death whenever characters get high?

“I think I like starting over. I like the chutes and ladders of life. I mean, I want the corner office, but then I wanna slip back to the beginning and fight for the corner office. I mean, I think maybe it’s better that I don’t get the top spot,” Diane says. LOVE to hear her admit this. I’m not sure I would’ve come to this conclusion on my own, and it sounds like it’s a bit more about how the writers like to write (you know, the “we love our characters to always be underdogs”) than Diane, but... you know what? I believe it. I fully believe it. Diane LOVES to fight, LOVES to feel like she’s in the right, LOVES power plays and to be making progress. She LOVES winning. The fact that she isn’t just choosing to retire right now, even though she’s past retirement age and has a great reputation, is in itself enough for me to believe that she would find it fun to repeatedly start over.

Plus, it’s a fun new direction for the show to take in season six, because they’ll get the same sense of conflict without the actual conflict. This season’s arc was firm drama and resulted in a firm name change... but it didn’t feel like a knock-off of Hitting the Fan. Diane trying to work her way back into power (I assume by becoming a better actual ally, otherwise doesn’t she just end up in the same exact situation?) should also provide conflict without being repetitive.

Hahahahahaha Kurt immediately reacting to this serious statement by being incredibly silly and horny and then Diane singing “I Touch Myself” to him, man, I love these two. I want to know the story behind this song choice.

Wackner emerges from his chambers. The score is tied. Wackner calls Cord corrupt and notes that they can’t just decide to call Downstate Illinois a new state based on his ruling. Now it’s thesis time!

“I was taken by Mr. Cord’s arguments of individualism. So much of our country has been built on people finding their own way, not being held back by bureaucracy. Yet, if we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos. And that was not the point of this court. Or at least not my point. Judgment for the defense. There will be no Downstate Illinois.”

“If we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos.” is probably the clearest of the many theses of this episode. To recap, we have:

(1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. (4) Institutions only exist when we collectively agree they exist (5) Individualism = chaos.

But let’s put a pin in this for now and let the chaos of individualism play out.

The crowd does not like Wackner’s decision, and decides that an appropriate way to express their displeasure is to make anti-Semitic remarks towards Marissa and then start throwing chairs. What nice people.

As the crowd goes totally 1/6 on Wackner’s court (thanks for pointing this out to me, Ryan—I cannot believe I didn’t make the connection myself!), the door slamming into the desk finally pays off since Marissa and Wackner are able to use it to keep the crowd from reaching them.

They immediately turn to the police, or they would, if they could get service. I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that as soon as things get bad, they want to involve the existing system.

Wackner Rules is, somehow, still taping in the midst of all the chaos. I don’t know if I think they’d air this, but someone certainly would. (I wonder if any of the cameras we see in these scenes are actually the cameras filming the other angles of the riot.)

Cord shakes his head and walks out, unharmed.

“You think they’ll kill us?” “I think they might,” Marissa and Wackner fret.

“My dad said the whole world would be a better place if everybody realized they were in the minority. ‘No matter where you are,’ he said, ‘Make sure you keep an eye on the exits, and make sure you’re closer to the exit than the Cossacks are to the entrance.’” Marissa says. Love Eli Gold coming through with thesis number 6 (and maybe thesis number 7).

“Your dad sounds a little paranoid,” Wackner says, correctly. Remember how I mentioned I accidentally wound up watching 5x22? Eli calls Alicia and responds to her hello with, “DISASTER!!!!” I miss him.

“He was, but he wasn’t wrong. He said, ‘Stay away from parades. They’re cute until they’re not. And don’t trust any pope who was Hitler Youth.” “What’s that law called?” “Godwin’s Law. My dad said anybody who argued for Godwin’s Law has never been near an actual crowd. Crowds love you, they hug you. Then they grab a gun and try to kill you.”

“Why? Why do they do that?” “I don’t know. Hate is fun. It’s clear-cut.”

I really like all of this. It is a little preachy, but it isn’t wrong and it’s self-aware. And, more importantly, it’s in character. I absolutely believe that Marissa would tell lots of stories about Eli in a moment of extreme stress. It’s nostalgic, probably comforting, and it also helps her feel like she’s on the right side with the right arguments. So, even backed into a corner, she’s still a winner: she has theory on her side.

Wackner speaks a foreign language (I do not know what language but I wish I did) and says, “A guy could get killed doing this,” which makes him and Marissa laugh as things crash around them.

Idk about you all, but I couldn’t really get myself to actually worry about their safety during this scene. Maybe Wackner’s, just a little, but I got the sense we were supposed to focus more on the chaos and destruction and monologuing than on the actual danger. That’s not to say the stakes didn’t feel high, but rather to say that this didn’t feel like an action sequence where you don’t know what’s going to happen next. The point was to watch the court fall and think about why it fell, not to worry about if Marissa would live.

Diane and Kurt are woken up by sirens and loud noises. The cops arrive and are shocked to find professionally dressed white people in a basement cell. They let Diane and Kurt out with compassion, but scream, “don’t you fucking move” to the people on the floor.

“It’s okay, they didn’t do anything,” Diane says. This is, as I theorized earlier, probably why Diane just sits there until her punishment blows over instead of escalating things.

If the cops weren’t there to free Diane, why were they there? Why, because they like David Cord and David Cord has gotten Chicago PD officers to protect Wackner’s IP.

If I had to say one thing in favor of Vinetta being the originator of the community court idea, it would be that it’s SUCH a gut punch to watch Diane and Kurt walk away from their bizarre little adventure as Vinetta gets arrested in the background, and it hits ten times as hard if Vinetta’s only being charged because some white guy is claiming IP that’s actually hers.

(I think Vinetta is probably, at this point, actually being arrested for imprisoning people illegally, but, still.)

“Pfft. Some judge,” one of the cops who adores Wackner says of Vinetta. Racist much?

Marissa and Wackner emerge from the backroom. “I think I better get back to work,” she says, meaning her RL job. "Me too,” Wackner says, grabbing a Copy Coop apron. He’s an employee of ten years.

I don’t think this lands as well as it’s meant to. I think the point is supposed to be that Wackner’s just some guy—not a billionaire, not an academic, not a judge, not a lawyer—with an idea. But it’s a little too neat. And it doesn’t explain how Wackner financed his court initially, nor does it explain why he has basically unlimited access to Copy Coop space and resources. I’d buy it if he were the OWNER of Copy Coop, but I have so many questions about him being an employee.

Diane tells Liz she’s actually going on vacation this time, and they laugh about how Kurt bonded with STRL.

“I want you and Allegra to be name partners. I’ll be an equity partner,” Diane says. “Why?” Liz asks. “Five years ago, when I hit rock bottom, this firm took me in. So I don’t like the idea of splitting this firm in two. And I can’t lead if no one will follow.” “And your clients?” “We’ll manage them together.” YES! I love this. I don’t love it because I necessarily think it had to go this way, but because it’s so refreshing to see Diane say that she actually is willing to take a step back because she cares about the firm and the people there more than she cares about being a name partner. This isn’t something we usually see. When we hear “this firm took x in” it’s usually being said incredulously against someone who’s decided to leave and steal clients (cough, Hitting the Fan, cough).

It’s been pretty clear for most of this arc that Diane and Liz like working together and they like their firm, but that no one (other than Diane, I guess) is willing to let RL lose its status as a black firm, and that the employees and equity partners weren’t going to be satisfied until Diane stepped down. Diane really had three options: Stay and piss everyone off and claim the whole firm for herself, quit and go somewhere else and totally abandon the good working dynamic she had, or step down and put her money where her mouth is.

Also yeah the clients were never actually going to be an issue! They were only an issue because Diane intentionally went about informing them she was stepping down in a way she knew would make them worry!

“I think I need to prove myself,” Diane says. I’m not sure that’s the key issue or that she can ever prove herself fully, but we’ll worry about that next year.

“I missed you,” Liz says. “I’m here,” Diane replies. “I know. Thank you,” Liz says.

Diane decides she’s going to move downstairs so Allegra can have her office. I think there’s another office on this floor, since she, Adrian and Liz all had offices. This feels a little bit like Diane’s in love with the idea of making things difficult for herself and maybe hasn’t fully grasped the point, but, you know, I’ll take it.

Diane tells Kurt her decision and he asks if it was the right thing to do. She says she doesn’t know—but she says it with a smile. Kurt notes he’s going hunting next month with the STRL folks and will put in a good word for her. Ah, yes, because STRL still controls all of this and all of this is moot! Thanks for the reminder Kurt! Diane says she wants in on the hunting trip. Of course.

And the elevator doors close. Remember how closing elevator doors was a motif earlier this season??? It’s back!

Then we get a little coda with Wackner Rules airing a new episode that’s just violence and destruction. This sequence seems to straddle the line between being there for thematic reasons for the viewers and there to show what happened in the show’s universe, but I think it’s main purpose is theme, so I will not go on a full rant questioning why Del would want to air this.

A white blonde lady in an apron watches the destruction of Wackner Rules. She looks concerned. “That was violet,” she says with dismay. And then we see she’s holding a guy in a jail cell in her kitchen.

And then we see other courts, as America the Beautiful plays. One’s in a garage debating kicking someone out of the neighborhood; another is across the street about the same case. There’s one in Oregon about secession. There’s one among Tiki Torch Nazis deciding only white people can own property. There’s (inexplicably) one about pronouns. There’s one with arm wrestling, one that happens while sky diving, and a bunch of others. It’s pretty ridiculous, and not necessarily in a good way. It feels at once like the natural extension of the Wackner Rules show and like an over the top parody you’d see on another show. Tiki Torch Nazis screaming “only white people can own property!” is the opposite of subtle writing. Tonally, this sequence feels more like the zany humor of Desperate Housewives or the insanity of BrainDead than anything TGF has done before (and TGF’s been plenty surreal), and it doesn’t quite work for me. It feels like it is trying to prove a point in the corniest, most on the nose way possible. It almost feels like it’s parodying its own plotlines.

On my first watch, this ending for Wackner left me stumped. I knew the writers were making an argument against individualism (Wackner’s speech + the repeated references to The Apprentice) and cults of personality. But I couldn’t figure out a real life analogue to Wackner’s court, and since this ending was so obviously trying to be About Something, that bugged me. Sure, that last sequence could be an argument against people making community courts, but WERE people making community courts? I didn’t see the urgency.

And then I talked to @mimeparadox. And as soon as he said that it was about factions and people playing by their own sets of rules beyond the justice system, it clicked. I’d been looking for Wackner’s plot to be a commentary on the legal system. It is much broader than that. It’s a commentary on the weakening of democratic systems (the Big Lie, etc.), more broadly, and Wackner and his common-sense approach are just a way to get liberal viewers to go along for the ride.

Now that I understand the point, or what I think is the point, I like this conclusion. Circumventing the system leads to chaos; that’s why we have institutions and bureaucracy, and I think the show is arguing that these institutions should still be respected despite their flaws. The many theses of this episode all come together to make this point (though the reality TV stuff is a little more tenuous and I'm a little shocked we got through all of this without any commentary on social media?): If we stop having a shared belief in institutions and instead follow individual leaders (whom we may learn about through reality TV), the rules will stop mattering and we’ll end up with a fractured country and widespread violence.

But, and maybe this is just about me being upset I missed both the obvious 1/6 parallels AND the point of the arc the first time through this episode (my defensive side feels the need to also note I first watched this episode at like 5 am when I was barely awake), I don’t know that I actually think this episode does a great job of driving its point home. There are SO many moving pieces to the Wackner plot and SO many references. There are so many threads we never return to from earlier in the season, and there’s so much that strains credulity (like Wackner taking Dr. Goat seriously for more than a split second). It’s pretty clear what the themes are—even though I’m saying I missed the point my first time through, I've hit on all these themes separately in past recaps and posts—but, I dunno, something about this episode just feels scattered. Maybe it’s all the moving pieces, maybe it’s all the moments where it sounds like the characters are voicing related ideas that don’t quite snap together to form one coherent picture, or maybe it’s that Wackner’s plot gets two endings (the actual ending + the coda) and it’s up to the viewer to put together how they relate.

I really don’t know. At the end of the day, I think there was a little too much going on with Wackner and that the writers needed to use the episodes between the private prison reveal and the finale to narrow—not broaden—the scope of what they were trying to do with Wackner. But I also think that what they were doing with Wackner was really, really smart and original. I don’t think I can overstate how impressed I am that the writers took an idea that sounded, frankly, awful when I first heard about it and turned it into something captivating and insightful that I was happy to spend nine weeks watching.

Overall, a few bad episodes aside, I thought season five was the strongest season of TGF yet. I haven’t seen this show be so focused in... well, maybe ever. Having two overarching plots that received consistent development and felt like they were happening in the same universe at the same time REALLY helps make season five feel like a coherent whole, and I can’t wait to rewatch it.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

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detectivedreameater · 3 years

Text

Hello From The Other Side || Erin and Marley

TIMING: Right after this PARTIES: @corpse--diem and @detectivedreameater SUMMARY: Marley gets spat out of the portal and heads straight to Erin’s to answer her 30 missed calls. CONTENT: Blood/Injury descriptions, PTSD mentions

The portal dumped Marley out onto the ground with a loud thump! As she crashed directly onto her face, adding yet another scrape to the bundle of cuts she already had. She didn’t care. She’d made it back. It had worked. She was home. Marley scrambled for the phone in her pocket and clicked it back on, still laying on the ground. The battery flashed at her, only 2% left. She’d have to be quick. She clicked on messages-- 27 unread messages, all from Erin-- and she went to type out a reply, but the phone died and she cursed in at least three different languages. She had no idea where she was, but it looked like she was near some buildings. Brushing as much of the blood from her face off, she stood and stumbled from her spot, looking around for any familiar street signs. Exhaustion had been replaced by adrenaline, excitement. She’d made it, but-- shit, she was way out in the Bend. Couldn’t life cut her a break just once? At least it was night. She was covered in soot and blood-- both blue and black-- and her clothes were torn to tatters, but that didn’t matter if no one could see her. She needed to get home and clean up, but as soon as she started moving, her feet didn’t take her in the direction of downtown. She was in East End before she knew it, gravel crunching under her feet as she turned back into a solid state. It wasn’t until she’d reached the door that she realized how tired she was, limbs hanging like metal and lead. She reached up to open the door, but thought better of it, instead, and curled her first to knock. The sound reverberated in her skull and she clenched her teeth. She heard shuffling, an annoyed voice-- of course Erin would be annoyed by a visitor this late-- before the door opened and Marley waved. “Hey, uh,” she didn’t actually know what to say, “sorry I disappeared. I'm back now.”

Erin’s body begged for sleep. She could feel it pulling behind her eyes, fighting a war with an anxious mind that refused to bend. It was growing uncomfortably close to a week since she, or anyone at all, had heard from Marley. Gone. Vanished off the face of the earth, apparently. And if her hunch about the portals was right, there wasn’t a damn thing her incessant phone calls to the police station were going to do to help. So here she sat, cradling another glass of whiskey against her chest, worrying a hand through her hair. Maybe tomorrow she’d bother her partner again, try to get a more specific idea of where Marley had been seen last. If this was portal bullshit, maybe she’d get lucky and fall into the same one that had gotten Marley. It was worth a shot, right? She couldn’t just sit here. She couldn’t just continue to sit here, and worry, and do nothing. The knock at the door startled her from her thoughts. It was late, too late for anything business-related. She’d been running on empty but she knew she’d cancelled all plans otherwise, considering the walking torso she was still babysitting in her garage. The only thing that got her off the couch was the hope (and fear) that the police had actually found something. But if they had, and they’d come to her in person to break the news--she yanked the door open. “What do you--” Want.

Marley. Her jaw hung open as she stared at the sight. It was real. It was her. Bloody, bruised, and generally battered, but it was Marley. Casually strolling up to her doorstep like nothing had happened. Erin let out a long breath, her eyes burning with relieved tears that she couldn’t stop if she tried. She stepped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around her. She was really here. “You fucking asshole,” she murmured, squeezing harder than necessary, like she’d disappear all over again if she didn’t.

“Oh, wait, don’t--” Marley started, but it was too late, Erin was throwing her arms around her and the fresh blood caked on her tattered jacket was smearing all over her now, too. “Do that…” She finished weakly. She didn’t entirely mind, though. It felt kinda nice. Sighing, she reached around to pat Erin’s back, trying not to get too much more blood on her. “You should um-- let go now, though, unless you also want to be covered in blood and viscera.” And whatever she would call the goo that had melted onto her after she’d killed whatever those things were. She gently pried Erin’s arms off of her and held her at arm’s length, trying not to let her exhaustion show too much. She wondered if she could even see it underneath all the gore. “Can we go inside?” she asked, then, looking around. “I’m kinda tired.” But she was smiling, for whatever reason. Relief, probably. Yeah, that must be it. “And I could really use a drink.”

“I don’t care,” Erin mumbled, making no moves to remove herself or lessen her grip. She’d had her hands in worse things than what she felt squishing against Marley’s clothes. Reluctant still even as Marley pulled her off of her. This close though, she could see the damage hidden beneath splotches of blue and red blood. Tiny bites littered the surface of her skin, speckled alongside bruises and gashes along the surface of her skin. Concern swarmed her features. What the hell did she get into? When she finally pulled away, her hands and white dress shirt were covered in whatever the fuck had died on Marley’s jacket. “Yeah, yeah,” she nodded, wiping her eyes, unconsciously smearing more of the mess onto herself. Still didn’t care and she couldn’t help but return Marley’s smile. “Sorry,” she shook her head, moving to let her into the house, locking the door behind her. “There’s whiskey on the table. I’ll, uh--” she paused, trying to calm the noise in her brain. “I’ll get you some clean clothes. And a washcloth. And some… first aid. Are you hungry--no, wait, you don’t eat what I--sorry, I’ll just...” She gestured behind her but didn’t move more than a few steps backwards, still staring at Marley in disbelief. Her heart pounded in her chest. Suddenly, she felt afraid again, slowing her steps even further. “Don��t leave. Don’t go anywhere. Just stay right here, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Marley moved into the house stiffly, feeling the ache inside of her increasing. She’d need to feed soon, she wasn’t sure how long she’d been gone. She hadn’t thought to look at the date when she’d checked her phone, just the messages. Just to call Erin. Erin was crying now, too, and Marley felt a knot forming in her chest, sticking in her throat. She swallowed and headed towards the couch where Erin instructed there was whiskey waiting, and she shuffled along, straining to take her jacket off before she sat down. It stuck to her in places she didn’t think cloth could stick, tearing at wounds that were still open and fresh and peeling away skin. She winced. She’d take broken ribs over this any day. She laid back on the couch and let her head rest against the back as Erin went off to find her clothes and a rag and band-aids. She nodded and gave a thumbs up. “Don’t worry, I’m not moving from this spot for at least the next hour.” She looked down at her now bare arms and saw the dozens of tiny bite marks, the size of perhaps a cat’s mouth or a small dog. She tried to wipe the blood off but more kept pooling up. It was strange to be so injured at night, but she supposed coming from a multi-dimensional portal, things didn’t follow the rules.

Erin practically ran to gather up the supplies promised, only pausing to wash off her hands and face of the foreign blood sticking to her. Regrouping with shaky breaths in front of the bathroom mirror. But only for a moment, only long enough to stifle stubborn, relieved tears. Marley was alive. She was back. She was in her living room, right now, safe and sound. “Where the hell were you? What happened?” The questions practically burst from her the moment she re-entered the room, scanning the newly exposed wounds her jacket had hidden. Tried to push away the unease swirling in her stomach, her hands anxious to help. She looked exhausted, worn from whatever hell she’d clearly gone through. Erin lifted her hand, trying to brush away some of the blood-soaked strands of hair caked to her face. “Are you okay?” She asked, her voice softer, riddled with concern.

“Uh, well,” Marley contemplated on what to say, exactly, “remember those portals I told you to stay away from? I sort of...fell in one. Not on purpose! Before you yell at me. I wasn’t even near any of the ones I’d plotted, actually. It was just my luck that one randomly opened up behind my fucking patrol car and swallowed me whole.” She held out her arm to Erin when she came over with the supplies, but was surprised when she reached up to brush her bloodied hair away from her face. Blinking, she looked down at Erin. “I am now.” The words tumbled from her mouth before she could stop them and she had to sit up straighter, clearing her throat, to pretend like she’d meant them. “I mean-- now that I’m back. It was-- I don’t know where I went. Guess I’m a little used to that at this point, though, huh?” Maybe joking right now wasn’t the best idea, but Marley didn’t know any other way to be. She held her arm back out, as if prompting Erin to patch that up instead so that she could go clean her own face off after. “Sorry I didn’t call first. Don’t think my cell carrier has cross-dimensional broadband yet.”

Those fucking portals. Erin’s jaw set tightly, swallowing back a wave of nauseating fear that some magic fuckery had nearly taken the one good thing she had left. It’d been the creeping, incessant thought nagging at her since Marley had vanished, one she’d steadfastly ignored in order to get through each day. Marley would come back. There hadn’t been any other option her sanity could entertain. She wavered slightly under Marley’s gaze, those three words throwing her more than they should have. But she got the hint, taking a deep breath to pull herself back together. She was here. She was alive. “That’s not funny,” she answered as evenly as she could manage, though it was hard to hold back the bite in her words. Took the hint and dropped her hand from her face, giving a particularly nasty looking gash on her arm attention. “Sorry, I was just--” Fucking terrified. Marley could figure that out well enough. Erin let out a breath, opening the first aid kit, keeping her eyes on the task at hand. Another pause, longer this time as she sorted her words. “What the hell happened in there? How did you get out?”

“Worried?” Marley answered, looking down at Erin when she dropped her hand and wondering why she suddenly wished she hadn’t. She cleared her throat again and watched her work, soaking up the blue blood from the wound as it pooled until it finally started to wane. “Sorry. Kinda impulse at this point.” She grumbled and winced a little when the alcohol was dumped on to disinfect it. She wondered if it could disinfect cross-dimensional creatures that couldn’t ever have existed in their world. She blinked back to reality and looked back down at Erin, red eyes soft and tired, despite their glow. “Uh, it’s complicated. To explain. I’m-- not sure I really understand what happened, or where I was, really, but...there were these uh-- nightmare creatures. Shadowy...things. They didn’t move right. And the world wasn’t….right, either. It was all separate and broken up and-- floating. And I fell a long ways and I couldn’t reach the portal right away. I just tried to get back to it. Took a bit. Just kinda made my way back to it as fast as possible and climbed back out. Or-- fell. I’m not really sure. It didn’t feel like I was there that long, but I don’t know what day it is here now.” She paused her story to look down at Erin again. “Sorry, that was a lot. You uh-- okay?”

Erin listened quietly, navigating the wounds along Marley’s skin. Most were superficial and would likely heal given some cleaning and time. But some, like the near-perfect jaw imprint of a portal creature, needed a little extra help. Between this and her nightmarish explanation, she didn’t understand, but she was getting a pretty damn good idea at the hell she’d endured. “It’s Sunday,” she answered, flicking her eyes briefly back to hers. The red glow shouldn’t have calmed her but it did, a growing warmth spreading in her chest that was working its way through the tangle of anxieties. “You’ve been gone for five days,” she grumbled, securing the bandage on her arm before patting the wash cloth against another ragged wound on her shoulder that spread to her collarbone. Erin winced, moving the tattered shirt away to get a better look. Felt like one of them was always winding up on the other end of a fresh med kit these days. She shook her head. “I’m fine. I didn’t go anywhere or fight any shadow portal creature things.” Her brows narrowed and she avoided her eyes. “But, uh--I don’t think your partner and I are ever going to be friends after this. Or anyone in the entire WCPD, if I’m being honest.”

“Fuck,” Marley exhaled, lifting her other hand to rub her head. “That long?” Time must’ve moved differently in there. Why wouldn’t it have? It’d only felt like a few hours to her. Maybe more. After she’d passed out, she had no idea how long she’d been there. Wasn’t like she could’ve checked her watch or phone. Maybe she’d start wearing an analogue again. She watched Erin finish up one of her arms and move towards her shoulder. Though the wound was visible through the tears in the cloth, it wasn’t exactly fully accessible. “Like I said,” she grumbled, “didn’t mean to. Was even doing my hardest to not go near any of them. Not my fault one opened up in the asshole of my car.” Though it did feel like some sort of cosmic “Fuck you, you deserve this!” didn’t it? She ruffled her nose. “Don’t think many of them really like me, either,” she said, sighing. Sometimes it was hard to be there. Without anyone who really understood her side of things, it was hard to remind herself why she did the things she did. “Here,” she shooed Erin away a second, before reaching down and pulling her shirt up, groaning with effort and pain. The bruise that blossomed across her ribs looked almost like the arms of the creatures that had tried to consume her, imprints of their mangled hands having left behind red welts as well. “Better?”

Erin raised a brow at that. “Yeah, that long. How long did you think you were gone? If you had to guess?” It didn’t sound like a walk in the park but at least it didn’t sound like she’d gone through nearly a week of that hell. Silver linings, maybe? “I know,” she nodded, letting her grumble, getting angry again the longer she thought about it. A humorless chuckle slipped from her lips. “It’s a joke. You go out of your way to avoid this bullshit, keep your head down, do what you’re supposed to do, and you still get swallowed up by something.” It was hard not to be bitter. Impossible. She didn’t understand how more people didn’t feel the same. Her eyes widened just slightly as Marley pulled her shirt off, swallowing as they lingered over the bruises marking her sides. “Jesus,” she whispered, her finger trailing lightly along the shapes wrapping around her ribs. When she realized what she was doing, she yanked her hand away, red creeping up her neck and cheeks. She mumbled an apology and couldn’t look at her for more than a few seconds when she went back to tending the cut on her shoulder. “You’re back. And you’re alive. So yeah,” she nodded, letting out a long breath as she pressed the washcloth to her shoulder. “Definitely better.”

“Felt like only a few hours to me,” Marley answered, “though I did pass out at one point. Maybe I really was out for five days, who knows.” She certainly never would. She wasn't going back in that portal under any circumstances, least of all to test out a time theory. She looked down at Erin a bit perplexed. “There’s really no ‘supposed to’ in this world. It’s just do or die. That’s just the way it is. It’s shit but-- that just is.” She wished for a long time that things could’ve been different for her, but they weren’t, and she’d had to leave that train of thought behind decades ago. Erin was looking at her stomach now, and the bruises and cuts that lined it. Luckily, the whatever monsters hadn’t been able to open their jaws wide enough to clamp down on any valuable bits, like her stomach and organs. Instead, they’d left angry, red scratches and tiny little puncture holes from nails. Bruises, welts. She shivered but didn’t move as fingers ghosted across her skiing, tracing the patterns they’d left behind. “You don’t have to apologize,” she mumbled back, sitting up straighter as Erin moved away from her to grab the cloth and press it back to her shoulder. Her head turned to look down at Erin’s, close enough to her that the red glow of her eyes reflected off Erin’s pale skin. Marley swallowed. “I meant the shirt, but…” she paused, “that works, too.”

“Let’s go with a few hours. For both of our sakes.” Marley’s next statement was even less comforting. This was how it was. Magic, and those who wielded it, just did whatever they wanted. It was bad enough the world was brimming with “normal” people who abused their power, regardless of who it hurt. There was even less control here, it seemed, and Erin couldn’t stop being reminded of how low on the power chain she was. “It is shit. Maybe it doesn’t have to--” she started, Josephine’s words suddenly coming to mind, but she backpedaled just as quickly, shaking her head. “Who am I kidding, huh?” She smirked wryly. Marley understood this world better than she did. She actively fought to right those same wrongs they were both frustrated with and she still felt this way. Maybe not an argument for tonight, not with how glaring the exhaustion on Marley’s face was. And close. Very, very close. “I know what you meant,” she breathed. Her eyes dropped to Marley’s lips and that warmth in her torso spread like wildfire. For a moment, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “Definitely better either way,” she teased, the words slipping from her without a second thought. She even dared a small smile, lifting her eyes to the comforting red glow of Marley’s. Marley. This was Marley. Her smile wavered and panic took hold. She ducked, resting her forehead to Marley’s shoulder. Remembered how poorly this had gone the last time they veered off track. She couldn’t do that again. Fuck. “You know, uh--” she cleared her throat, lifting her head, pulling back slightly. “There’s--a lot of blood. This would probably go quicker if you just showered. I can finish patching you up after.”

“Few hours it is, then.” Marley looked around the house and tried not to think too hard about the fact that Erin’s hands were on her bare skin. This had happened a few times before, and every time, Marley had felt the same warmth. It sat in her stomach, felt like a candle flame. Like she’d swallowed fire. She rubbed the side of her head, looking away when Erin did, trying not to tense when she put her forehead against Marley’s shoulder. “Oh, huh,” she mumbled, glancing down at all the tiny bite marks still leaking blood. “That’s-- probably a good idea.” She should’ve done that at first, anyway. Then she could find all the actual injuries and figure out what really did need to be tended to. She moved to grab the arm of the couch and lift herself up, but her muscles strained against her and she gave a muffled cry, stopping her progress. “I uh-- can you help me up?” she asked, wondering, suddenly, if she was asking too much of her.

Erin’s brain was buzzing as she started collecting bandage wrappers and the washcloth, muddied purple splotches from the two kinds of blood staining all sides. It drew her eyes back to the bite marks and the matching purple bruises smattered across her skin. To exhausted red eyes that scrunched up in pain as Marley tried to move. She was so damn tired of seeing her in pain and that small cry felt like a hard kick to Erin’s stomach. She dropped everything onto the table. “Hey, don’t worry, I’ve got you,” she assured her, closing the space that she had desperately tried to put between them just moments ago. “Your ribs? Or is it more of an ‘absolutely everything hurts because you were just chased by hell dimension demons’ kind of thing?” She asked, reaching for her hands as she leaned in front of her, trying not to stare too hard or make this any weirder than she already had. Hands securely wrapped around hers, Erin nodded, a small, soft smile on her lips. “On 3, I’ll pull. Whenever you’re ready. Nice and easy, okay?”

“Both?” Marley suggested, looking up at Erin and shrugging. “Yeah...both.” She normally would’ve hated the idea of needing help to simply fucking get up off a couch, but she was too tired and achey to care right now. She held her hands out for Erin and squeezed. “On three.” Sucked in a breath. “One, two, thre-- AHh fuck!” Marley stood but it hurt, fuck did it hurt. She wheezed and grabbed her stomach and leaned against Erin as she stood, head on her shoulder. In and out, in and out. Her other hand was still gripping Erin’s. “Just...I just need a second.” Or five. Or ten. Or maybe a whole ass minute. She cleared her throat, though, after a moment and sucked in a breath and nodded, lifting her head. “Okay, I’m good,” she murmured, looking at Erin’s eyes. The worry lines on her forehead and scrunched at the edges of her eyes, and the worried furrow of her brows. The way her lips wavered from smile to frown. Marley reached up subconsciously and drew a thumb across her cheek, wiping away a spatter of blood. “Don’t look so worried,” she mumbled, “I’ll be good in no time.”

Whatever had given Marley the strength to power through the pain to get here was long gone. It was a miracle she’d gotten here at all. Adrenaline was fickle like that. More pain meant more recovery time. “Take your time,” she answered softly against the side of her head, holding her hand tightly, the other loosely wrapped around her waist. Firm but not high enough to disturb what Erin would bet were refractured ribs. Fuck. “I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you. Not like this.” More pain also meant more phone calls to her doctor. She was probably sick of seeing Erin’s number lighting up her phone all hours of the day (and night) with questions, new possible symptoms and injury reports. The woman took it all in stride. Where else could they turn to? Not exactly a slew of supernatural doctors out there. Knew they didn’t have room to be anything but thorough when it came to Marley’s injuries. “I’ll believe it when I see it...” she teased, voice tapering off when soft fingers grazed her cheek. That unsettling warmth returned. Oh, this was--this was so unfair. Erin was bone-achingly tired and it would be so easy to tell better sense to fuck off. It’d already taken it’s fifteen minute break, apparently. One hand moved to cover the one on her cheek, holding it against her own skin. “Worrying is my default. Comes with the whole package.” The corner of her mouth quirked upward but she grew quiet. Comfortable. She didn’t make any more moves to the bathroom. “Still doing okay? Need a few more seconds?”

It would be so easy, Marley realized, to simply lean over right now and kiss Erin. They were close together and her hand was on Erin’s cheek and Erin’s hand was on her hand, and she was looking at her like that. There were a lot of factors, really. The pain didn’t seem so bad at this angle, either. But Marley remembered herself, and remembered what Erin had said-- I don’t want this to ruin our friendship-- so she cleared her throat once more and leaned away and moved her hand. “No, no, I, ah-- I’m good. I’m okay. I can-- make it on my own, I think. Might just take me a sec.” She clutched her ribs again and breathed in, making sure they weren’t entirely broken again. Just fractured. “I think uh-- I think I’m gonna take the week off, though. Maybe two. Fuck-- maybe a month.” She teetered down the hall towards the guest bathroom. “What do you think? Maybe we can take a damn vacation while we’re at it.”

When Marley pulled away Erin was… disappointed. No, that wasn’t right. Her shoulders shouldn’t have slumped the way they did. No other word but disappointed seemed to fit the void her hand left. Some part of her knew this went beyond nearly losing Marley, and the overwhelming relief that came the moment she saw her standing there on her doorstep. “I can--yeah, if you’re sure,” she finally managed, though her voice came out hoarse. She didn’t like the way Marley was still favoring her ribs but she seemed determined to do this on her own. Maybe Marley was more thrown by the last few seconds then she let on. “I think it’s about damn time you said that,” she said, giving a little smile as she watched her hobble along. She followed after her, shoving down pride and disappointment and whatever the hell else kept popping up from the depths. She cringed. “This is so painful to watch. Let me help. I promise I won’t follow you into the shower,” she half teased, putting an arm up for Marley to take. “I’d like to get to bed at some point tonight.”

“You know, it’s funny,” Marley said, trying not to let her voice betray her. She was usually so good at keeping her composure, but there were factors, this time, making it harder. Much harder. She cleared her throat. “Falling into a hell portal kinda makes you wanna take a vacation.” She glanced behind her as she stopped to lean on the wall and noticed Erin following her down the hall, close by. There was a strange look on her face, but Marley wasn’t sure she understood what it was. She was just too tired, that was all. Blinking, she glanced at the offered arm. Rolled her eyes as much as her body would allow before taking it. “Fine, fine. I’d hate for you to lose out on more sleep because of me.” She was right, though, and they made it to the bathroom faster than if Marley had tried to alone, and as she stripped down, flinching with every movement, she wondered if maybe that was a metaphor for her life. But, no-- that was too obvious. The water felt nice on her skin, her wounds, and she washed the grime and blood and muck out of her hair and off her body and watched it swirl down the drain. The only evidence that she had fought for her life and won.

She had toweled off completely before realizing it was now stained blue. But it didn’t much matter. She tugged on the spare shirt and shorts Erin had fetched her and turned in a small circle, trying to examine all her injuries herself in the mirror. The gashes on her back nearly matched the faded ones on her face and she frowned. Soon, there wouldn’t be enough room left for scars. She pushed her way out of the bathroom and hobbled back towards the living room, maybe not better but certainly not worse. And no long covered in dirt and blood, so that was win. “I’m ready for my makeover,” she announced as she came back in. Angry, blue bites littered her arms, Bruises to match. They would heal in time and disappear back into tan skin and then, really, there’d be nothing left of her experience. Nothing but the memory.

Erin didn’t move from the closed bathroom door until she heard the spray of water, and even then, she lingered for a few minutes. At this point, she was all too used to something going wrong just when there was supposed to be peace. But her worries were unwarranted and she took the opportunity to run to her own bathroom. Blood smudged her cheeks, gained from the bear hug she’d pulled Marley into the moment she saw her. As the sink color muddied, she tried not to think about what had died to leave those marks. Marley was here and alive, and that’s all that mattered. Quickly she changed, discarding the ruined red-stained dress shirt into the trash. Marley was still in the bathroom when she returned to the living room. Probably for the best. She needed another moment to regain her bearings and further shove away everything she needed for when Marley reappeared. Her eyes bounced up to hers, then to the freshly cleaned skin covered bite marks once again. Right. She still had to patch her up. She stood from the couch, her knee knocking over the medkit. “Fuck--uh,” she started, kneeling to pick up the bandages, craning her neck to watch her slowly make her way over. “Feeling better?” She asked, nodding towards her. “You look better. Cleaner. Less, you know. Blood.”

Marley watched Erin knock the first aid kit over and moved to help her, but was stopped when her ribs reminded her that she was in no condition to be moving. Groaning, she leaned against the couch and sunk onto the arm. “Well, I mean,” she looked down at herself, at all the tiny little bites that littered her arms, her legs, her shoulders. “Not bleeding means better, right?” As for feeling better, well, she felt clean. That was better. She moved around to sit back on the couch, holding a hand to her ribs to make sure they didn’t shift too much while she did. Maybe one day she wouldn’t have fractured ribs, but it certainly wasn’t going to be today. She sighed, gave a gentle smile. “I’m ready for my makeover,” she said, holding her arms out. If they were going to ignore the awkwardness and pretend it wasn’t there, she was going to make sure things stayed light. They could pretend she hadn’t almost just died, she was fine with that.

“No, no, I got it,” Erin assured her, wincing at the sound Marley made when she tried anyway. “Just sit, relax.” She grabbed the supplies from the floor and settled in beside her. “It means something, alright,” she teased lightly. She supposed better would come with time. Better wouldn’t happen tonight, not after all that she’d been through and all that she’d seen. With the dirt and caked blood washed away, the wounds scattered across her arms were loud and visible. Blue blood was starting to scab over but Erin got to work anyway. “I think we’re going to be here for a while,” she remarked, glancing at the sheer amount of bites. “Let me know if I hurt you.” Her hands were a little shaky but after the second or third wound, she found a rhythm. It was easier to focus on this than anything else rattling around inside of her. One hand drifted down to her forearm, the other spreading Marley’s fingers out to examine them for damage. She swallowed. “What was it like?” She asked, trying to fill some of the silence in the room. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You won’t,” was all Marley said. Erin couldn’t hurt her anymore than those things had, and even if her fingers grazing over bite holes stung, it wasn’t really a hurt. She didn’t suppose there was much Erin could do to hurt her anymore. There was plenty Marley could do, though, to hurt her. Hadn’t she already? She’d seen the pained and horrified look on her face when she’d opened the door, when she’d stripped her jacket off, when she’d just now stood in the hallway, the extent of her injuries full visible for the first time. Marley’s eyes closed, she was ready to sleep for the next 3 days if she could. They popped back open when Erin spoke up. She didn’t know what there was to talk about, but if Erin was asking, that meant there was something. Marley grappled for something to say. “Maybe not right now,” she said quietly. “But...sometime. Soon.” A promise she wasn’t sure she could keep, but one that she wanted to. “Just kinda wanna...be glad I’m here. With you.”

Erin nodded slowly, quietly. She should have guessed that from the exhaustion hanging onto the ends of her eyelids. “Whenever you’re ready,” she answered, smiling softly back at her. She’d be there to listen. With you. Erin’s entire body froze, fingers hovering along the last of the worst gashes on her arm. Did she say it like that on purpose? Did she even know what she was saying? Or was Erin just absolutely that dense? The buzzing questions and Marley’s words stunted her into silence and she finished wrapping her arm instead of immediately replying. She was absolutely thinking too hard about this. She knew that. Didn’t mean she could stop. Realizing she was too quiet for probably too long, she brushed her hand over Marley’s, squeezing it gently. “I’m glad you’re here with me too,” she answered sincerely. There was relief lining her words, much like the relief that had consumed her when she opened the door to see Marley standing there, but there was a grave seriously that overwhelmed them too. It was hard seeing those wounds and to not think about how close she’d come to not making it back here. To her. Her eyes threatened to grow misty again. Kissing Marley’s knuckles, she let her hand drop back down and stood up quickly. “Hey, we should get you to bed. You can barely keep your eyes open,” she chuckled softly, moving across the room. “I’ll just-- I’m gonna grab you some water. I can’t really feed you but it’s the least I can do?”

It wasn’t quite relief that washed over Marley, but it wasn’t something akin to it. She knew Erin wouldn’t push right now, but perhaps eventually. That was where the relief wore off. And it wasn’t that she didn’t want to, more that she didn’t-- know how. Her own brain was still trying to grapple with what had happened. It didn’t make sense. She’d been so focused on getting out and running way, on surviving, that she hadn’t had time to sit and process what she’d seen or where she’d been. Erin’s hand squeezed hers and Marley looked down in time to watch her press her lips against her knuckles. She felt a shiver run through her body but did her best not to move, blinking to look away when Erin stood. “Yeah, bed--” she started, her throat still clenching, “water. Water sounds good.” It did sound good, it sounded great. Erin left to grab the water and Marley let out a long sigh, leaning back for a moment. Just a moment. Shadows played on the ceiling above her and she closed her eyes tightly. She was safe here. She was home. She wasn’t in that place. Marley opened her eyes again. She could see perfectly in the dark, but she felt surrounded by shadows. Swallowing, she closed her eyes again. They would go eventually. They always did. And before she knew it, her mind had faded away, and sleep dragged her down. Dreams were never a comfort a mara could experience, but at least no nightmares could take away her rest.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy: erin #hello from the other side #erin

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ourstarscollided · 3 years

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jatp fanworks appreciation - day 3 (wips)

wip wednesday - I didn’t think I wanted to join in on this day for my own stuff considering I’ve never posted anything original for this fandom, but I think this might just be the little boost I need from myself to actually finish the wips that I have sitting around. I am peer pressuring myself and holding myself accountable by posting this - or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Most of the past 6 mths has just been me screaming to no one in a Google Doc, so here are some things I’ve been ruminating about over the last 6 months (and if my secret agenda is to get other people to write about it so I don’t have to? Then that’s between you and me).

Everything’s under a read more because I like giving context and that usually spirals out of control!?!?

If you would like to see more from any of the below, feel free to shoot me an ask/message and I can definitely share some more! (Or you can just come yell at me about JATP in general.)

Strangers Fake Dating AU // Julie x Luke

I’m a simple person. I see a prompt, I latch onto it, and then I completely miss the entire point of the prompt as my imagination goes wild for no real reason. This really was supposed to be a super short drabble, but it manifested into a 3k+ thing that isn’t even finished.

Julie’s not really sure what she’s supposed to do now. Nothing has ever prepared her for a situation in which she’s supposed to pretend to be a stranger’s girlfriend, especially if that situation involves parents. Does she continue this ruse? Can she come up with a quick enough excuse to tell this Luke character that she actually can’t stay? What if this is just all an elaborate plan to kidnap her? Has she been listening to too many true crime podcasts? Why does Luke smell so good? Does he know how to cook? Why does his shirt not have sleeves? What-

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Her head whips up at the sound of Luke’s voice, which is now at a whisper and kind of frantic. “I just- I just really needed to get my mom off my back, so I kinda need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for the night. I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

Julie studies Luke’s face and it’s nearly impossible to not cave under his gaze, which can only be simply described as ‘puppy dog eyes’. She finds herself smiling back, letting out a huff, “I hope you like lasagna.” And the grin that spreads across the boy’s face is enough for her to know that he’s incredibly relieved that she agreed.

“I’m Luke by the way. Luke Patterson.”

(Okay, he’s kinda cute. And no one this cute is a serial killer. Right?)

She gives a small smile back, “I’m Julie.”

5+1 alive!Juke AU // Julie x Luke

Inspired by paper - LANY

This is one of the first things I ever felt the urge to write down back in September because I love exploring the idea of how two people can appear to be the perfect relationship on the outside, but are actually fighting their own demons. Especially when it comes to celebrities and people who are in the spotlight. It’s basically a 5+1 fic about the moments from other people’s perspectives who happen to orbit around Julie/Luke that all revolve around paper. My outline for this is so long because I can’t manage to narrow it down, and there’s zero cohesiveness but I do have little things jotted down.

“Hey little man,” Luke’s knelt down to match his 5 year-old height, and a hand extends out to him for a high five, “What are you doing here?”

His eyes flicker to the left, towards his own apartment door, where his mom is giving him an encouraging nod. “ I- I just wanted to-” he stutters and finds himself looking at his feet as he shuffles back and forth on the spot. “I- I drew you guys something!”

He shoves the paper out towards the older boy in front of him, but doesn’t look up.

Reincarnation AU // Julie x Luke

I had a random thought in December about how magical it is that Julie and Luke are so tied to one another that their love transcends time and space, which will always lead them back to one another. I remember reading a book a long time ago about how the main character is fated to die at a certain age, and that kind of sparked this little idea. I can’t bring myself to actually plot out every single timeline right now, but I did manage to write a little bit.

It will never be as complex as Rosie’s idea and all the wonderful additions in the link here, and I don’t really plan on it being anything more than a small idea. But I really do still think someone should write some sort of reincarnation AU cause I’d hop on that so fast!!

“Okay- that’s not- Luke. You seriously just ran away?”

“What was I supposed to do Alex? We all know how this ends.”

His friend looks at him, face painted in understanding and he sighs, “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Because it’s true, Alex does know, so does Reggie and Bobby. Most importantly, so does Luke. It’s the exact same tragic love story every time.

Call it a curse or fate or destiny. Maybe it’s because Mercury is in retrograde. Whatever. It always ends the same way - with a heartbreaking goodbye, a whisper of the promise that they’ll find each other again, and the possibility of a happy ending. He’s said the same goodbye at least 734 times, but it’s not like he’s counting or anything. Fuck the universe and its mystical ways.

Competitive Alex // Alex x Willie

No real thoughts or reasons for this other than I just think I self-projected my need to play board games with people in real life into a fic. And maybe a little bit of my competitiveness onto Alex and then threw in Willie because I think he would be able to handle it while also finding it endearing. I also have written nothing about the actual competitiveness, it’s just 2k words of Alex crushing on Willie.

“Wait,” his eyes dart between the three boys, “You both know Willie? How come I’ve never met him?”

His roommates look at each other, and there’s a smirk on Luke’s face when he says, “Actually Alex, I think you have. Remember that time you got really drunk after one of our shows?”

Oh no. He really hopes that it’s not the time he’s thinking of, so he tries to sound nonchalant. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Luke.”

“The night we played at that tiny bar at the edge of the campus! We got paid in those tiny colourful shots?” He doesn’t really know where Luke is going with this, so he’s slowly nodding along. “And you were super upset that the hot dog vendor at the end of the street was closed?”

Dear Julie, Love Mom series

I made myself sad with this thought when I first watched the show and was talking to my friend about how I think that Rose would’ve left messages for the Molina family, especially when we found out that Wake Up was actually from her mom. I wrote a bigger explanation for it here.

Anyways, I started with the one for Julie’s wedding and it kind of became an 8k monster with three different POVs?!? As much as I love how I wrote this, I feel too unsure about my writing to share it in full, so you will get carefully selected looks alkfe. (I’m also kind of stuck on some of the more emotional scenes and I may or may not have procrastinated by photoshopping a moodboard for it.)

Excerpt 1 (Julie POV): A look into where I’m going with this whole letters from Rose thing.

The key clicks into place, and with a turn, the latch falls open. She’s not sure what she wants to find in the box, and she’s too scared to think about it really. All she knows is that this was the sign from her mom that she was waiting for all week, and in true Rose fashion, her mom had managed to give it to her, even if at the last second. Her dad turns the box to face Julie, and gestures to her to open up the lid.

Tucked inside is a VHS tape, the words ‘For Julie, on your wedding day’ written in her mom’s cursive on the cover. Some loose glitter and confetti fall back into the box as she reaches in to pick up the tape and turn it over in her hands. There’s a little purple butterfly etched on the back, the same one that’s been drawn on all the other messages that her mom had left her. Her finger automatically finds its way, tracing the shape of the small doodle.

“Do you want me to leave you alone, mija?”

Excerpt 2 (Julie POV): This part has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot of the story, but it self-inserted itself into this fic after @tangledstarlight and I talked about You’re Still the One by Shania Twain being their first dance. This whole scene came to me at 4am one night and might be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written.

They knew that when they had asked Reggie to be in charge of the first dance performance, that they (and Alex) weren’t allowed to veto any of his ideas. Luke had warned Julie that that would be a mistake, but the giddiness that radiated off of Reggie when she had told him he could have free reign was worth it. She just hadn’t thought that he would actually take it to heart and run with it.

Sure, they had chosen You’re Still the One by Shania Twain as their first dance song, and sure it was more or less a country song, but she didn’t really imagine that she’d be staring at her adoptive brother, Carlos and her Dad wearing cowboy hats and boots at her wedding. They had somehow managed to ditch their Flynn-approved suit jackets and were sporting a taupe-coloured suede-textured vest over their dress shirts. If she looked closely, she could see that they had somehow also found some gaudy looking bolo ties with a matching set of ornamental clasps to wear. When she envisioned her wedding, she really didn’t expect that her first (public) dance as a married couple would be a full-on Western themed occasion. The only exception was Alex, who had settled on his cajon in the back, still in his pink suit, eyes rolling when she met his gaze. But even she knew how there was no real annoyance in the blonde’s reaction or else he wouldn’t also be wearing one of the tacky ties around his neck as well.

“I’m gonna seriously kill him.” She hears Luke grumble under his breath, only low enough for her to hear. But she’s still too busy giggling to actually be mad, and she knows that Luke isn’t really going to kill Reggie. At least she doesn’t think so.

Excerpt 3 (Luke POV): Idk man. My mind went “What about Luke?” and I said “You’re right!! What about him?!?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s just been silently staring at the woman in front of him, until a gentle voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Julie’s peering at him from under her eyelashes, a curious look on her face.

“You just-” he gives a little shake of his head, trying to come up with the right words. He wants to tell her she’s beautiful. Stunning. A wicked beauty. But she’s more than that - she’s almost angelic. “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

“Luke, we’ve been legally married for like, a whole year.” Her lips are quirked up in a grin, amusement in her voice. “You’ve only just realized that now?”

“That’s different.”

“Yeah? Different how?”

This feels a little strange to post and a little like my inner self seeking validation but let’s not talk about that.

Kskssj anyways present me @ future me: finish one of these because writing has been really cathartic for you and you didn’t think it would bring you so much joy!!!

#gotta tag this so that it doesnt ever show up in any tags on tumblr.#i like that what got me to post about my writing was a fanworks appreciation week. but i will say that a couple weeks ago when i was feeling #extra good about my writing. i made a promise to myself to post smthg for the 6 mth mark of jatp and that kinda got backtracked because of #my requirements to be an adult and my general insecurities about putting out content that is mine for the works to judge sjsjsj #so this is me making it up to myself by sharing some things.#thank you rosie for indulging me in my ramblings. you’ve really given me confidence in my work even tho you’ve never read anything of mine.#just know I APPRECIATE YOU A LOT!!!!#i hope you dont mind that i tagged you!!!#anyways this is gonna get thrown into my queue for wednesday and whenever it posts is whenever it will post.#i also typed this on my phone (i DO NOT RECOMMEND IT) so sorry if the formatting is janky. i didnt wanna give myself time to second guess #myself and end up not posting it. sjjs #jatp fanworks appreciation week #sometimes i write #personal #<- need to come up with tags for myself welp #sunset queue

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 3 years

Text

Bulgaria brings a mentally reassuring anthem to Rotterdam 2021

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I’ve said so that VICTORIA herself sort of agreed to have done “Tears Getting Sober” if she was allowed to, but for one I have to thank that EBU said that the artists can’t have their 2020 songs back? You’ll see why when I get to the review after two boring paragraphs of text with technical info, for the country that is Bulgaria!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Victoria Georgieva (or VICTORIA, but I can’t be arsed to continuously capitalize her name so I’ll just say Victoria from now on) was born a singer, for she started to sing at the age 11, went to a specific school of angel voices (no really that’s what it was called), and tried to go to the X Factor while a liiiiiittle too young until realizing that she needed to wait for a few years, and wait a few years she did, and went on to the X Factor again.

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She didn’t win, but she still got to sign a contract and sing some stuff in Bulgarian before she decided to rebrand, started singing in English, and completely decided that ballads is her style. She cannot really do upbeat most of the time. So you can’t really have a bop from her in the future. (Well except that there’s a couple of songs in her discography that I personally classify as “bops” but they’re more like... idek sad bops?? but they can be danced to, but I get her, she doesn’t do anything that’s more loud and upbeat and clubby and summery kind of - in short, nothing you can go “YAAASSSS QUEEEEEN” over to.)

The entry she ended up singing, “Growing Up Is Getting Old”, is what I can describe to be about overcoming the emotional twists and turns inside of you as you grow older, because as it turns out, it ain’t what you thought it would be - but if you push just a little further, you realize that if you’re growing up, maybe the life isn’t so bad, afterall - you are able to get up. Somehow. It was written as part of Boris-Milanov-led songwriting camp held during summer, and a lot of people seemed to be a part of it because multiple different folk have songwriting credits on the potential Bulgarian entries this year.

REVIEW

Let’s get this out of the way immediately. I prefer “Growing Up Is Getting Old” to “Tears Getting Sober”. The former sounds a lot less irritatingly underwhelming and a lot more positively overwhelming you with warm emotions and sunglow. “Tears Getting Sober” was a song I could never really connect with - maaaaybe the last chorus is much better on there, but it doesn’t do much for me either, I guess.

Their 2021 forray however is a much different kind of thing - once again, going for lyrical non-cliches, Victoria tells a tale about her inner turmoils and continuing in life, in a way that’s personal to her and also kind of relatable to all of us. We all have these moments of fear and anxiety and nervous systems aching. If only there was someone who’d tell us that we’re worth saving... thanks a lot Victoria, you’re the MVP. Filling in the void that Netherlands from last year had brought us but not anymore - another personal song about getting old and having those kind of feelings inside - and doing a great job at taking the baton in the right way (even with featuring the word “grow” in both of the titles, neat coincidence).

Not only the lyrics feel like a hug, the song just emulates ray of sunshine and golden glitter coming down from the sky, Molly Sanden style. The violins in the G major key playing so precisely, building up momentum throughout the entire song, slowly but surely - starting with the ticking clock in the first verse that may have subtle violin in there; and the first chorus is just so simple piano, and then the second chorus has a tinge of electronic something, and the last chorus goes full in with the backing vocals boosting the song, after Victoria performs the quite magnificent bridge... now I don’t have synesthesia but I associate music keys with colors, and to me G major would always come across as something yellow or orange - “Growing Up Is Getting Old” is a perfect example of why’s that for me. And obviously, Victoria’s love for harmony-humming (even if there’s just one instance of it after she sings “star crossed soul”) complements the song to a T.

And it turned out to be a much better choice than last year’s. Maybe finally a female ballad I am getting behind.

Now I wanna know why the bookies don’t appreciate THIS entry as much as last year?

Granted, now it’s 2021 and the environment is so much different, and the songs have changed, and the dynamics have changed, and now there’s suddenly more competition at stake. And for Bulgaria it fares quite much more underwhelmingly - well, at this moment they’re like 6th, which isn’t bad, but there’s a lack of sung praises coming its way, not quite a feat that “Tears Getting Sober” actually achieved, being the bookies fave right before the cancellation of last year. In general the year has been pretty dry for the previous winner picks like Iceland, Lithuania and this, but I can’t say that the previous winner bets from 2020 are all that dead either? Though I gotta say that Bulgaria wasn’t gonna win 2020 anyway, so it’s a lose-lose in this case.

Also I just can’t at that music video being a little dramatic at the beginning, with the cancellation of Eurovision being presented as if it were a worldwide disaster during which we all shall lock ourselves into bunkers and wait until the better days, eventhough the panini is not war and war supplies kit is not just enough to survive it. But it seems like that the world is quite literally falling apart, as evidenced by Victoria going through all kinds of pathways away from her living room, meeting a (presumably) mini version of her somewhere in between, and literally surrounded by the shaking environment by the last moments of the song

before we realize it was just reality recursing from the TV’s point of view that Victoria was watching all along, and then she leaves the living room again, but in her world, everything is normal and she could just go wherever she wants by car. Even I can’t come up with a storyline ending that’s somewhat intertwined and all plot-twisty and more confusing than that. But props to her team I guess

Approval factor: Let’s say I somewhat approve this message. Follow-up factor: For the sake of argument let me just say that Bulgaria is moving on a great path, eventhough the former entry leaves me cold, at least the current entry keeps me warm at all times, like a cup of cocoa and a good blanket. Please Bulgaria, never run out of sponsors. Qualification factor: I’ve seen one or two people throw around the “surprise NQ” tag for this song and I don’t get why??? There’s no way that the tense atmosphere of semifinal 2 would sure-fire-ly kill Bulgaria, even if they have a lot less chances to win this year than they had the last one. There can be some shock NQs indeed though, and if there are, I am paging... uhhhhh Finland? Idk why but you might see what I mean if I ever get around to reviewing “Dark Side”. Bulgaria? Never. It may not win the semi but it will cradle around the top 7 somehow.

INTERNAL NF CORNER

That’s right, Bulgaria managed to do both.

At the time when one other of Bulgaria’s songs got released, within the *Special* Eurovision September 1st-onwards range, people naturally succumbed to their primal instinct of asking whether that’s her Eurovision song... only for Vic to probably announce this early on that no, it’s just *one* of potential ESC entries she’s harbouring. And the remaining potential ones were all on her debut EP. Who actually got a more well-orchestrated schedule for everyone to follow, and yet, people were much more keen to cling on the first EP song out of the gate, “Imaginary Friend”. Now I get that the fans of that song were super upset at the revelation that IF is not going, but it is a technically strong song for the sake of being a technically strong song, and I don’t want to think that Victoria is only forced to choose the songs that can win for her, so she’s such a sweetheart for gravitating towards a song she could dearly care about. So props to her team saving the initial winner for last to be revealed, lol.

Though wasn’t her personal favourite a Billie-Eilish-lite-upbeat-kinda-track Phantom Pain?

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Which was also my personal favourite?

Look, I know that favouring the only non-ballad in the whole lineup (well “Ugly Cry” is also not quite a ballad but its beat is kinda so-so, so I tend to ignore it) is kinda sus, also, y’all are sick to death to Billie Eilish comparisons, but I do believe that Billie would never be able to do an “Imaginary Friend” while Victoria could do a “Lovely”. This makes me remember the cover art of Billie’s debut album where she sits on her bed, dressed in white, and so is Victoria on this very MV, with strange shit going on behind her in the mirror. To the mirror, her reflection acts creepy, back again.

The other 2 I don’t feel like caring about enough, sure they got their cred, sure there’s one entry properly crediting Milanov (who seems to not have an actual entry this year that’s purely attributed to *him*, as opposed to 3 last year, 2 of which were performed by acts that returned this year????), sure there’s the funny thing about having a funeral song where out of this and Finland only Austria managed to send a quote unquote “funeral” song, but I think the funeral song would’ve sounded better if the pre-section of it on the “Phantom Pain” video was THE “funeral” song itself, and not whatever was that other funeral song.

In between there was a public sort of survey where people could submit feedback and positive words to Vic’s choices to help her decide - I didn’t get to vote but I feel fine with the winner eitherway, and that counts for something! And the end result was revealed at the very end of Victoria’s very own rooftop concert.

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The colors on the circle thingy of this, they were meant to symbolize all Bulgarian entries up to Victoria’s 2nd one, in pictograms that kind of reminded me of Coldplay attributing every song on ‘Mylo Xyloto’ its own little symbol.

The concert was not only full of music and also adverts for the inaugural sponsor iCard (that also included some element of foreshadow in between the suspense, you’ll see why), but also the Bulgarian folk talking before each song, saying all the positive nice words they can for Vic; that she’s talented, and that they were so excited that Bulgaria was doing well in the odds last year prior to cancellation, bla bla bla... also some people were proud of voting for Bulgaria outside Bulgaia, and they made puns about the forthcoming songs on the concert that they were introducing, and so on, and there was also someone called Dara, whom I really want to be sent by Bulgaria one day to show off that they’re not afraid of doing trashy-esque bops that don’t necessarily win

Also they reminded me that Lucy from No Angels (aka the sole reason Bulgaria 12′d Germany in 2008) still exists.

Also Azis.

There was also an intermission where Eurovision 2021 acts could say all the nice words to Victoria on their own part. And several artists chose to... how shall I put it... use up their several seconds rather interestingly. Like how The Roop would say something real quick only to delve into more of their usual “let’s dance, let’s discoteque! *hand scissors* ;P” self-promo, and Senhit carelessly being allowed to say whatever she wants in Italian without subtitles <3 Sorry sis, they’re only given to people from another white-green-red flag-color country.

About the iCard foreshadow... so there’s their advert about Victoria waiting in the line to get something in the Soft Vocals Store, and people ahead of her giving her money the standard oldfashioned way, and the old lady at the counter is... slow, to say the least. After a good amount of time spent waffling around, Victoria finally pulls out the iCard application and pays for the imaginary items she wants, then narrates some stuff about said application, and a Eurovision entry of hers plays when the old lady is at home, spending time in front of TV enjoying the music. Before the concert, the song that played was “Tears Getting Sober”. The advert played once more before Victoria’s big entry decision and entry MV reveal, and in place of the 2020 entry, “Growing Up Is Getting Old” was the one that sounded out loud... Now you may think that there were attempts at some sort of spoilage here, but after that ad before the concert EP NF result, there was this other advert starring Victoria that played “Imaginary Friend” at the end, a last-ditch effort to trick viewers into going “see? just because that ad played the chosen song doesn’t mean it’s the chosen song!! this song could as well be a chosen song as well!!” yeah no shut up GUIGO IS the chosen song kthxbyebye.

ANY LAST WORDS?

Having said all that praise, I actually have “Growing Up Is Getting Old” fairly low on my ranking. It’s just because the year is so damn good and I have a lot more songs to care about more than this, but I appreciate the gesture that this singer is sending very much. Good luck on your road to conquer Europe, Victory-ia, I’m sure you get the best of the experience and all, because you would deserve it.

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #bulgaria #victoria georgieva #victoria #growing up is getting old #i was planning to publish this review on the same day as borisbubbles dropped his review of bulgaria #but my timing is lazier than his i gotta admit #so yeah #gif

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ladylynse · 4 years

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A belated happy birthday to @bibliophilea.

Forewarning: All Dipper knew was that there was something buried in some special thermos behind the shack; all Danny knew was that he had no idea how he’d gotten here. Inspired by this artwork by @hashtag-art

Part 3 [FF | AO3] (previous)

-|-

“Okay,” Danny said to himself once he was back in the forest and sitting on a springy bed of moss. He ran a hand through his hair. “They know. Or at least they practically know, because there’s no way they bought that.” That was a problem. Not them finding out the truth, exactly, unless it meant they played that card and trapped him again. (He’d really have to figure out how to prevent that from happening again. His parents didn’t believe in non-ghostly magic, but Vlad would have a field day if he realized that had actually worked.)

Thing was, though, if what he’d done had really been enough, if he’d somehow managed to do whatever Clockwork had wanted, Danny would be on his way home right now.

But he wasn’t, which meant he hadn’t.

And he couldn’t exactly time travel without help, so it’s not like he had an alternate route home.

That probably meant that they hadn’t believed his warning, either. He’d have to figure out how to convince them, assuming he could talk to them without them trying to exorcise him or something. Unless exorcism would send him to the Ghost Zone? He’d be a lot more willing to let that happen if he knew that for sure; it beat waiting around for a natural portal or risk getting caught by Vlad if he tried to sneak into one of the ones he’d built over the years.

Unfortunately, given some of the things Danny had seen in the past, he wasn’t going to bet that exorcism wouldn’t equate to destruction.

Especially in a place that gave off such skin-crawling vibes—seriously, what was wrong with that place?

Well.

Real magic, apparently. Somewhere. Buried within all the scams.

Buried.

Like his thermos had been buried.

What else was buried, then?

Danny slumped back against a tree, absently flicked an ant off his knee, and stared upward at the branches. “I have to go back, don’t I?”

No one answered, which was probably a good thing. It was too much to hope that Clockwork would come back so soon. Especially when he was set on ‘not interfering’ while interfering as much as possible through Danny.

Mabel and Dipper’s magic, whatever sort it was, worked better on him when he was Phantom. His best defense was staying as Fenton. Even if he couldn’t resist whatever they tried next forever, it would buy him time, and that might be all he needed.

It would be nice to think that they wouldn’t be plotting something at this exact moment, but he knew better than to engage in such wishful thinking—at least out loud—when magic was involved.

“I’ll just stay invisible until I can figure this out,” he muttered.

The forest seemed to swallow his words.

This whole place was weird.

The sooner he could get out of here, the better.

XXXXXX

“Are you sure about this?”

Dipper didn’t bother to look up from his reading. “The journal hasn’t been wrong before. I’ve just been wrong when interpreting it. If he’s a ghost, those runes should keep him from harming us.” He made a vague gesture at the walls of their room, which he and Mabel had carefully covered in chalk runes. Not as permanent as he’d like, but a lot easier to get rid of in a pinch if someone came poking around.

Or, more to the point, if something turned out to be the wrong rune or drawn incorrectly and having a meaning that was extremely counterproductive.

“Should.” Mabel’s voice was flat. “Can’t you be more confident than that?”

“I’m starting to wonder if he’s really a phantom, whatever he says,” Dipper explained as he sat up. “He doesn’t have their distinctive piercings, and he didn’t try to hurt me, even though I summoned him. Which means he’s either a category ten ghost or he’s not really a ghost at all.”

“But you summoned him,” she said, “and he was trapped in the circle.”

“That might just be what he wants us to think.”

“So what, then? Oracle? Because of the prophecy?”

Dipper grimaced. “Only if we’re lucky.” He turned the journal around to show her what he was looking at.

“Some kind of demon? You think Danny’s possessed by him?”

“He did say something about interdimensional travel,” Dipper said defensively. “You don’t need to say that like it’s impossible. And that would merit the author’s warning.”

“So would a category ten ghost, and a ghost could possess someone as easily as a demon.”

“I guess.”

He’d tried not to grumble it, but Mabel slid down beside him and leaned against his bed as well. “It’s okay not to know something, bro-bro.”

“I know,” he said, flipping through the journal again to see if he could find something else that might be relevant, “but if I mess this up, things could get bad fast.”

“Maybe we should tell the others, then. At least Grunkle Stan.”

“But then we’d have to tell him everything, and….” And he didn’t want to tell them about the journal yet, not even Grunkle Stan. He just…didn’t. It would feel too much like admitting defeat. What if he wasn’t even allowed to keep the journal?

Mabel hummed in agreement, stayed silent for about three seconds, and then asked, “What if he’s right?”

“Grunkle Stan? About what?”

“No, Phantom. The warning. What if he’s right? What if he is an oracle, or a messenger for an oracle, or something like that?”

Dipper scowled. “Anyone with actual foresight would know that saying something the way he did is just going to make people more determined, not less.”

“Maybe that’s the whole point.”

Dipper glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe the point isn’t to warn us off.”

“Really? That’s what it sounded like to me. He kept telling us to stop.”

“But that’s not the actual message he gave us. If you stay on this road, you’ll find yourself on a path you can’t turn away from. That just means if we keep going, we won’t be able to stop later. It doesn’t necessarily mean we have to stop now. Stopping now was just what he thought we should do.”

She had a point. If he really was just a messenger, he wouldn’t necessarily know the true meaning of the message. And if he was wrong? About them needing to stop? Then that had to mean— “It’s forewarning. So we’ll be better prepared for whatever’s coming. Whatever has to come.”

Assuming Mabel wasn’t wrong about that, that changed things.

Phantom might not be an enemy. Danny might not be a conduit or something like that. And the journal’s warning….

But maybe it hadn’t been a warning. It had been in a different hand than the rest of the journal. A special thermos to contain the messenger until it was time for the message to be heard….

“I hope you’re right,” Dipper said.

“But in case I’m not, we still have to do all of this.” She nodded at the chalked runes. “These will stop ghosts and demons?”

“It’s every protection rune I’ve found in here,” Dipper said, lifting the journal a few inches for emphasis. “I’m hoping none of them cancel each other out.”

Mabel snorted. “I’m surprised you didn’t do that weeks ago.”

“I’ve been practicing drawing them,” Dipper admitted. “In the dirt. With a stick. I didn’t want to risk getting something wrong when it mattered. I’m not as good at freehanding as you are without practice.”

“That’s just because you spend more time reading than drawing and crafting.” Mabel climbed to her feet. “You can keep looking through the journal. I’m going downstairs to wait for Danny.”

“You think that’s how he’ll come back? After that story he fed you about his family before running out?”

Mabel smirked. “I’m pretty sure he’s figured out we don’t trust Phantom. Trying to convince us to trust Danny is his best bet.”

“But we’re not going to trust him.” Not liking the look on Mabel’s face, Dipper added a pointed, “Right?”

“I like to hear people out.”

“Mabel!”

“What? He was kinda cute.”

Dipper groaned. “For all we know, he’s as real a person as Norman was.”

She just shrugged. “Summer romances are all about risk-taking and mysteries. It’s part of the thrill.”

“But this is serious!”

“And I’ll help you with all the serious stuff once you figure out what preparations we need to actually make. Just like I helped you draw all this. Doesn’t mean I can’t have fun in the meantime.”

She wasn’t going to listen to him, was she? “Just be careful, okay?”

“I’ll be as careful as I ever am,” she promised before slipping out of the room, and he bit back the urge to yell at her that that wasn’t careful at all. Her definition of careful had nearly ended with her as queen of the gnomes.

But she had helped him with this, and she’d help him in the future, and she really did hate all the research, and that was his favourite part.

He just wished she’d give up the idea of having a wonderful summer romance with any boy who came near the Mystery Shack. It would make his life a lot easier. But that’s what siblings did. They made things harder.

And, usually, they made things worth the effort.

With any luck, that would hold true this time.

XXXXXXX

Danny had absolutely no idea what the siblings—twins?—had up their sleeves, nor how fast they could pull something together, but judging by the magic circle, it would be faster than he’d like.

He knew blood blossoms weren’t the only things that fell under traditional methods of ghost hunting. His parents relied on technology, using their inventions before anything else, and Vlad (and therefore Valerie) was little different. Even Technus and Skulker used it. Danny was getting pretty good at dodging anything Tucker couldn’t just hack, but magic? He barely dealt with that outside of Desiree. He knew next to nothing.

That didn’t make him feel any better about going back to the Mystery Shack.

It didn’t keep him from going, either.

The place wasn’t closed, but it was empty—or, at least, it was as empty as it had been earlier. He would’ve been better off if there had been a crowd. No crowd meant no hope of distraction. He could try being his own distraction, of course—knock a few things around with well-placed ectoblasts, since attempts to duplicate himself would probably end badly with how he felt right now—but the truth was, he didn’t know if that would help.

If the adults bought into the whole magic thing as much as the kids, doing something like that would draw more attention to himself, not less. It was more likely to be recognized for what it was: something unnatural. And for all that this place was clearly set up like some sort of scam, it…. It wasn’t all a scam. He’d felt that much before. He was sure it hadn’t just been the beginnings of that magic circle.

He could still feel it now, hovering where he was underneath a window. Something that made his skin crawl. Something that had his arms covered in goosebumps. Something…something that felt achingly familiar but made him want to run away at the same time.

Or maybe that was just whatever the others had already done.

Or what he was supposed to be warning them away from.

It would’ve been nice if Clockwork could’ve given him some straight answers for once.

Danny put one hand on the sun-warmed side of the shack. Nothing happened, so he tried to phase through the wall. Tried being the operative word, as it didn’t work. He scowled and pushed harder, to no avail. He even tried the windowpane in case glass reacted differently than wood. It didn’t.

It figured.

These guys would find a way to make the entire place phase-proof without coating it in anti-ecto goo.

“Why can’t just one thing be easy for me, huh?” Danny muttered. Clockwork didn’t answer, of course; he was probably back in his tower watching through a portal, sure that everything was going the way he thought it should.

Fine. Whatever. He’d do what he could, even if that meant taking more risks than he’d like in a place like this. Anything to get back home.

Still, what he was doing wasn’t the smartest. Even by Tucker’s terms, it would be a fairly bad idea. Danny knew that even as he circled the shack, looking for an open window that didn’t exist. Everything was closed. Most likely, if anything had been open, the others had closed it. Since phasing wasn’t an option, he’d have to go through a door. Maybe the back door was still open? If Mabel hadn’t locked it behind him….

Danny peeked through the screen on the back door. He couldn’t see anyone, but there wasn’t a full view. He turned the handle slowly, easing the (thankfully unlocked) door open and slipping inside, closing it just as silently. He half-expected to come face-to-face with someone, but the kitchen was empty.

Small mercies.

Danny hesitated, trying to figure out where he should start his search when he wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for. Did these people hide stuff in plain sight, or was he better off digging through closets and the basement and the attic? Except the room he’d been in with the other kids had pretty much been the attic, or at least some kind of attic room or loft—is that what a loft was?—and he wasn’t sure if this place had a basement, but…

Danny slowly stepped onto the floor, holding his breath as he let it take his full weight. Flying in human form got exhausting after a while. He tried to go intangible and keep going, hoping to slip right through the floor, just in case he wasn’t prevented from that now that he was inside, but his shoes stayed firmly on the wood beneath them.

Fine.

Old fashioned way it was, then.

It’s not like he really expected anything else.

Besides, this place was the Mystery Shack. It had to have secrets. And, well, clearly these people were prepared for the supernatural. Announcing his presence wouldn’t necessarily win him any favours, but maybe he could be his own distraction if he did it in a more old-fashioned way instead of trying to fool them like he had earlier.

Knocking on walls should still help him find hollow spots—hiding spots, for whatever information had to be hidden around here to merit Clockwork’s interference—and they shouldn’t expect anything less from a ghost. Judging from the junk for sale in the gift shop, the head guy would probably use the excuse of calling this place haunted to up his prices anyway. Danny might be doing them a favour.

It wasn’t very subtle, and it meant completely abandoning any hope of coming out of this unnoticed, but it was also very unlikely that he wasn’t expected. He knew that. It was too much to hope for that they weren’t expecting him, especially considering he couldn’t phase through any of the walls. That wasn’t a coincidence.

He just hoped he was right about them not being able to do as much to him as long as he didn’t go ghost, even though he was using his ghost powers.

XXXXXX

Wendy didn’t pay attention to the floor creaking at first.

She didn’t pay attention to the odd knocking sound, either.

At least, not until she realized it was moving and coming far too regularly, too rhythmically, to be something Soos was tinkering with while they didn’t have any customers.

But that’s what made the floorboards creaking wrong, too. No customers. She knew the squeaky floorboards in this place. They all did. They all also avoided them now, more from habit formed by annoyance than anything else. But the last customer to come in had been that kid, and according to Mabel, he was long gone.

Wendy popped the bubble she’d been blowing but didn’t look up from her magazine. Instead, she listened while pretending to read, scanning the page to keep up appearances but not taking in any of the words.

The floorboards shouldn’t be creaking, and there shouldn’t be any weird knocking. Tap tap tap. Tap. Tap tap. Tap tap tap. It definitely wasn’t a woodpecker, even if that might be a seemingly logical conclusion from some city slicker who knew nothing about Gravity Falls. Someone—something—was inside the Mystery Shack. And if it was supposed to be tapping out Morse code, well, it wasn’t being rapped out by someone who had a concept of long and short; the pauses were too inconsistent, even if the reoccurrence was not.

Wendy flicked her eyes to Mabel, who’d come downstairs to borrow one of Wendy’s old magazines and was sitting up on a stool in the corner. She was still humming to herself. Either she hadn’t noticed or she was doing exactly what Wendy was and pretending.

Wendy sighed. Sometimes, she was really not paid enough. Still, this was a good job on the whole. Plenty of time to read and just enough of the inexplicable to keep things interesting. About par for the Mystery Shack, really.

“Hey, Mabel, what’s your brother up to?”

“Reading,” she answered without looking up. “Boring stuff.” She folded open the magazine and turned it around, showing off a bright advertisement for perfumes. “Do you mind if I cut this up for my scrapbook? I like the flowers.”

“Go wild,” Wendy said. Mabel chirped her thanks, but Wendy was still listening to the tapping and the occasional floorboard creak. Whatever it was was coming closer.

She checked her watch; almost closing, but Stan was probably still in town, looking after…something. Wendy didn’t ask anymore. Stan had had that look in his eye recently, been in a sort of mood where he answered questions with a joke, and she hadn’t bothered trying to get anything out of him. He’d fill her in if she needed to know. She knew Soos had gone into the hardware store earlier, too—something about wiring disappearing again—but she was pretty sure she’d seen him in the yard not that long ago. He had to be back, anyway. Stan wouldn’t have left without having him fill in as Mr. Mystery should any tourists swing by.

Not that she needed either of them to deal with this for her, but it’s not like this was an infestation of raccoons. She wouldn’t mind a bit of backup if she found herself dealing with something from the side of Gravity Falls that most people ignored. Or tried to ignore, anyway. Sometimes, it really wanted to be known.

This…might be one of those times. Which might mean she wouldn’t have a choice about giving Dipper and Mabel a crash course in whatever they wound up facing. The truth of it, not whatever stories she knew Dipper tried chasing; however much he seemed to be trying to keep that from her, it’s not like she never heard him whispering to Soos or Mabel. Trouble was, Soos and Mabel being who they were, she wasn’t sure how much of those whispers were truth….

She could remember being as ignorant of all of this as they had been at the start of the summer, as they might still be aside from an encounter or two, but that was before she started working at the Mystery Shack and realized her dad’s ulterior motive for all those survival lessons.

She was pretty sure her dad didn’t believe in any of the stories people told. As far as she could tell, most people didn’t. Urban legends were just urban legends, and a good campfire story was just a good campfire story. If anyone had a particularly good one, well, then it might be deemed something on par with what Old Man McGucket might tell. It was weird, though. People would tell those stories, and then they’d never mention them again, even when offered the perfect circumstances for call-backs. It was like they’d just put it out of their mind completely.

Still, no longer mentioning something and not admitting to even entertaining the idea that there was a modicum of truth in any of those stories didn’t mean people didn’t prepare, even if it was mostly unconsciously.

And even though Stan laughed it off, even though she usually laughed it off, it hadn’t taken the haunting at the convenience store to open her eyes to the fact that there was more going on in Gravity Falls than anyone admitted.

Whatever. Mabel and Dipper were going to find out sooner or later that Gravity Falls wasn’t the sleepy little town it appeared to be—assuming their run-in with the ghosts at the old convenience store hadn’t already done that. Honestly, even she’d thought ghosts were just stories before that one; she’d figured all the real stuff was the sort that was much less popular. Who would’ve thought it was all real?

The door separating the gift shop from the main Mystery Shack showroom creaked open.

Mabel, having torn the page from the magazine, was back to humming to herself and didn’t look up from her reading.

Wendy reached below the counter, trying to figure out what in their eclectic emergency supply would actually be useful in this situation, and settled on the baking soda box that was supposed to be placed in various nooks and crannies to keep the place from smelling too musty when it rained.

There was no tapping, but she heard a floorboard creak. The one by the vending machine, if she had to guess.

“Screw it,” she muttered. She tore the cardboard on the top of the baking soda box and flung the contents in the general direction of the vending machine. For the briefest moment, she saw a humanoid outline in the dust, and then it was gone.

“Wendy?”

Mabel’s voice wasn’t scared, exactly. Nor did it sound like she thought Wendy was crazy. But it was still too cautious for Wendy’s liking.

“What are you doing?”

“Summer dusting,” Wendy deadpanned. “It’s like spring cleaning. This helps you spot all the places you need to dust.” Mabel’s face told her she clearly didn’t buy that, but Wendy didn’t care. She just smirked and added, “Go grab your brother and run outside and help Soos gather some wood. We should roast marshmallows tonight.”

Mabel stared at her for a beat longer before she squealed, “I love roasting marshmallows! It’s fun to catch them on fire and watch Dipper’s face. He hates that. He wants his to be this perfect golden brown, but it’s not done till it’s crispy.” Grinning, she slipped off the stool and out of the room.

Wendy turned her gaze back in the direction of the vending machine. “What the hell are you?” she hissed. “And what are you doing here?”

Something shifted, and she could see the faint impression of footprints in the thin dusting of baking soda.

And then she blinked and saw the kid from earlier standing there.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” he said. “I swear.”

Right. Like she was going to buy that.

“I mean it,” he insisted, probably reading her expression. “I… There’s something wrong with this place, okay? I need to figure out what it is. I…. It’s the only way I’m going to get home.”

There was a thump from upstairs. She had to deal with this fast. “What are you?” she repeated.

“Stuck,” the kid said. “And not a threat to you. Honest. Unless you’re, like, secretly planning to eat the kids who live here or something.”

Well, it’s not like she expected straight answers from something that no doubt loved to trick humans.

“Get out.”

“But—”

“Out!” she jabbed her hand towards the front door. “Now. I’ll know if you try to come back.”

“Not necessarily,” the kid muttered, not quite quietly enough that she couldn’t hear him, whatever he might think.

He vanished again.

No more footprints appeared in the white dusting the floor, but she heard that tapping again.

And then she heard the sound change.

It wasn’t the rap of knuckles against solid wood. There was something hollow, something hidden, something—

Footsteps coming down the stairs.

Mabel and Dipper.

She lunged for a rag beneath the counter and wiped it across the countertop, pretending to be cleaning. When they waved as they ran out the door, she offered a weak smile.

No more knocking.

No more footprints.

Man, sometimes she really wasn’t paid enough for this.

XXXX

Okay, that had not gone as well as Danny had hoped.

Fine, he’d been stupid. Revealing himself had been stupid. He shouldn’t have expected help. Clearly, these people were not here to help him. That would have been too easy.

But at least whatever they’d done to the shack itself to make it phase-proof didn’t extend to its contents. He hadn’t been too hopeful when he’d tried to stick his arm into the vending machine, but once it had worked, well, of course he’d gone right in and tried to keep going. The fact that there really was a hidden passageway behind it was an unexpected bonus. He’d been half expecting a hidden door that would have been just as effective at barring his way as every other wall in this place.

Danny dropped his invisibility and intangibility once on the other side, but he kept floating as he held up a hand and let a ghost ray illuminate the passage. There was a faint light coming from below him, but it wasn’t enough to light his way by itself. Rickety stairs led downwards, the angle steeper than any stairs he’d come across before. This place really did have secrets. Maybe the Mystery Shack wasn’t a total scam after all.

The stairs didn’t seem terribly dusty. Despite creaking under his weight, they held when he stood on them, so he crept downwards.

When he reached the floor, it was just the landing for an elevator. A lone light bulb shone overhead. He pressed the elevator button and waited for it to come up, shifting from foot to foot. Just how deep were the secrets of this place buried that they needed an elevator?

Three floors down, apparently, which might explain why it was so dark when the elevator doors opened.

Danny could hear the low hum of machinery even before he stepped out of the elevator, which made it immediately evident why Clockwork had put him up to this.

This place didn’t only have a creepy hidden room, it had a creepy basement lab. Because, naturally, basements were where creepy secret labs were kept.

He kept walking, calling up a ghost ray again to light up what the various computer screens and blinking lights couldn’t.

Despite having more construction tools and computer screens than beakers or Erlenmeyer flasks, this lab came complete with what looked suspiciously like a nearly finished ghost portal. This one was at least ten feet above the floor, set in some kind of reverse triangle mounting, but it was definitely a portal. Which meant these guys had magic and technology on their side. Perfect. This couldn’t get any worse. This couldn’t—

Danny frowned and walked forward, letting the ghost ray burn a little brighter to give him some more light. That book by the control panel looked like what the kid had had. Danny still didn’t recognize the handwriting—not another novel by Freakshow, thankfully—but those were definitely blueprints to a portal. Incomplete blueprints, but still blueprints. And the portal in front of him was a heck of a lot more complete than the drawings on the page, which was not a good sign in his book.

“Maybe this is what’s going to go wrong,” Danny whispered. “Maybe Clockwork wants me to prevent another accident.” Though, considering no one had stopped what had happened with him or Vlad, that struck him as unlikely. But an unstable portal could lead to a giant explosion, and—

The room flooded with light from overhead, and Danny jumped even as the buzzing of electricity filled his ears.

“I’m not going to let you destroy everything I’ve spent the last thirty years building,” a voice behind him growled, and he turned just in time to see the net flying towards him.

(next)

#danny phantom #gravity falls #phantom falls #crossover #fanfiction #danny fenton #mabel pines #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #my writing #ladylynse #dp snippet #gf snippet #crossover snippet #snippets #some year I will finish this fic

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superpotato824 · 3 years

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i just finished Life is Strange: True Colors, so here are my thoughts on it (this is gonna be VERY long)

WOW okay my head hurts from staring at a screen that long but omg that game was so beautiful! The scenery, the ambient sounds, the characters, oh my GOD it was a visual masterpiece. The flower bridge, the flower shop, dang just the whole entire town of Haven!!!! Such a pretty place and so breathtaking. And the character animation??? I was scared it would look weird or creepy but WOAH it looks amazing. Definitely loved how the game looked and felt. All the characters were well fleshed out and that made it easier to connect with them as a player.

Now, for the plot... I really did love it. At least... I think I did? I'm determined to love every LiS game so take this with a pinch of salt. The plot was very interesting and definitely refreshing for the LiS series. In the original game, the plot kinda centers around the supernatural tornado or whatever that Max saw in her vision. In the LiS2, the brothers are running cuz of an accident caused by Daniel's supernatural powers (also its been a while since I played BtS so uhhh I don't really remember it oops) ANYWAYS in True Colors!!! It's finally different! The main conflict is not caused due to the character's supernatural powers! It's different, but honestly really cool. For once, you don't have a nagging feeling about causing the end of the world or being caught by the cops whenever you use your powers! Well, sort of... I don't know if it was just me, but some times when Alex used her powers, it felt like blatant emotional manipulation. Like, she would "dive into the hearts of others", find their greatest secret, fear, whatever it is, and then turn it against them. Using her powers to make Mac tell her the truth about what happened with the call Gabe made. Idk it just didn't sit right with me sometimes. Alex's powers are so unique and honestly I love the idea behind them and how the game works with it! But... I was at least hoping for SOME mention of how this was emotional manipulation on Alex's part. I mean, even in the original game, the nightmare-Max or whatever says that Max is using her powers to know exactly what to say and manipulate people into liking her. That's why I was so excited when a nightmare-esque scene began, cuz I thought we were about to dive deeper into that. But no, the nightmare-esque scene just showed us Alex's past, which was very interesting and definitely good to get to learn! But not exactly what I was hoping for. Sure, sometimes Alex makes an offhand comment about how she is using her powers to manipulate people, but it never stops her. Idk I guess I just wanted to see more into that but maybe that's just me. ANYWAYS again.

Honestly, I kind of saw the "surprise bad guy" being the bad guy way from the start. Idk something just seemed off about him to me or maybe I'm just used to LiS making good characters their surprise bad guy lol. Still, definitely made for a super cool and complex plot! Also though, at the end of it, I only felt like the choices that changed the end of the story were 1.) Who you romanced and 2.) Literally what you tell Gabe at the end of the game. Like,,,, I haven't seen any other playthroughs yet, but I really hope the game is different depending on your choices throughout, even if the ending is kinda stagnant (if that makes sense)

Thought of this last minute so I'm just gonna add it here before my final statements!!! ALEX'S POWERS. They are honestly SO COOL. I love how she goes from seeing them as a curse, something that makes her broken, to seeing them as a way to help people and to make things right. It's really so beautiful how the storytelling with her powers went. And her powers help flesh out the characters around her! We get to see little glimpses into the past and into these random strangers around town! It really adds another level of world building and makes the town of Haven seem even more real.

I really did love the story and oh my GOD did I love how the game looked! Definitely glad I got this game and I really wanna play it again to see how/if your choices really make a difference at the end of the day! Dang this was long and I still probably have even more thoughts on this game but I'll stop now. I think I love this game. If not for the beautiful scenery and town, then definitely for the cool, fleshed out characters living there.

Anyways if anyone wants to talk about this game or ANY other LiS game (or really anything tbh) send me a message!!! I'm bored and making friends is fun!

WAIT ALSO I JUST POSTED THIS BUT I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE!!!! There are some choices to "take" people's emotions from them. We... never see the long term consequences of that? Do they get them back? How does it affect Alex? Sure we see that the character that had anger taken from them is now numb to it, but do they ever get it back??? Can Alex give it back? And what about the character that had fear taken? How did that affect them? Sure we see they turn against the company that used to scare them, but is that the only fear Alex took? And again, how does this affect Alex??? After taking their emotions, we see Alex have a small breakdown, feeling a sudden urge of these feelings way after she took them. Like when she yelled about Gabe being dead and how nothing would bring him back, or when she curled up on herself, in fear of being watched. Does it just... go away? Does she ever deal with it? Does it ever come back???? And it doesn't help that you can choose NOT to take their emotions! That makes it harder to address in the long term. AAAA NOW IM CONFUSED AGAIN

AAAAA AND AGAIN ANYWAYS ALSO JUST REALIZED THIS WAS A LIS GAME THAT DIDNT MAKE ME CRY AT THE END. LIKE THE ENDING WASNT SAD? AT ALL? LIKE THE END FITS THE STORY AND I LOVE IT BUT WOW A LIS GAME THAT DOESNT HAVE A TRAUMATIC ENDING? CRAZY

#very very very long post #spoilers #kinda? i guess #aaaaaa #i think i loved this game #secrets of haven #lis true colors #lis tc spoilers #lis tc

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dhufflebee · 3 years

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damned thoughts, damning decisions (a Glee fanfiction)

One-shot Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jesse St. James; Rachel Berry Additional Tags: Missing Scene; Confrontations; trying to make sense of Jesse's face-heel turn in "Funk"; Slight blackmail; Shelby is terrible (sorry)

Also read on: AO3 | ff.net Summary: Jesse is summoned by Shelby and given an ultimatum. A change (a betrayal?) of that kind needs some sort of reason, though, even for a mess of a teenager like he is.

I know it’s been years, but I’m still pissed at the bad writing re: Jesse at the end of season 1. He did have his dickish moments throughout the episodes, sure, but such an abrupt change in behavior makes no sense – there was no context or explanation at all, and we deserved more, as did the characters. I don’t think the events in Funk were part of the plan from the start (because nothing that happens or is said beforehand supports it), and I’m convinced that it was a later development, and an unwelcome one at that.

Hence, this bridge-the-gap scene that’s been on my mind since the first time I watched the show. I’ve read some great fics about this plot point over the years; I guess it was time to write mine. it’s not elaborate nor particularly insightful – mostly Jesse being a conflicted teenager under pressure and (sadly) an all-around mess. I just wish they’d put something in the show so the whole situation would feel less out of the blue.

Lastly, sorry to Shelby fans, but I kind of hate her. Also, peer pressure is a bitch (and I’m sure it played a huge part in the whole debacle, even if I just hint at it in this fic).

“So, what happened to ‘I regret never getting to hold her’ and all that?” Jesse asked with a hard voice, and dropped his school bag unceremoniously on the ground. He was tired after the drive from Lima to Akron on a school-day afternoon, and annoyed about being rudely summoned like some sort of minion. (He guessed he was a bit angry at himself as well, because it was not like he’d protested all that much.) Mostly, though, he was pissed at Shelby for the way she’d treated Rachel, his anger fueled by the fresh memory of his girlfriend tearfully recounting how she’d been rejected by her mother. Again.

“I beg your pardon?” Shelby retorted, arching an eyebrow, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“That whole convoluted plan just so you could finally meet Rachel, and then that’s how you treat her?” Jesse tried to keep his voice steady, but the situation and Shelby’s blasé attitude were making his blood boil.

“Who do you think you are, our family counselor?” Shelby sneered, and Jesse barely suppressed the urge to up and leave right then and there. “What I decide to do with my life is none of your business.”

“It kinda is, though,” Jesse spat, bitterly. “Since, you know, Rachel is my girlfriend, and you are the one who forced me to take part in this charade!”

Shelby stared at him for a moment, then chuckled. “I seem to recall you being ok with it, mister ‘it’s going to be a good acting exercise’.”

“Well, I recall telling you I wasn’t all that comfortable with it anymore, and you ignoring me and even doubling down on it.”

“You seemed awfully comfortable with your spot amongst New Directions, though. And yet, you still went on spring break with Vocal Adrenaline,” Shelby mused, smirking unkindly.

Jesse inhaled sharply, clenched his fists and looked at his feet, the shame that had been in the back of his mind for the past months flaring up. “That’s not fair,” he whispered. “It was just Andy and a couple of others—they’re my friends…”

“Anyway,” Shelby interjected, matter-of-factly. “I don’t care about your holidays, and I don’t have any more time to waste. I told you to come here to say this—you’re coming back to Carmel by the end of the week.”

Jesse’s head shot up, and he stared at Shelby in utter bewilderment. “What? No!”

“Oh, I’m sorry—was there anything in our arrangement that made you believe I’d let you spend the rest of the year in that mediocre school?” she asked, sarcasm dripping from very word.

“But I thought—” Jesse frowned, and shook his head; he didn’t know how to finish the sentence (really, what had he been thinking?).

“You clearly didn’t,” Shelby said, raising her eyebrows. “I want you back in this auditorium by Friday. And I won’t be accepting excuses.”

“But I can’t!” Jesse pleaded. “What about Rachel?”

“Oh, Rachel understands that I’m not in the right headspace to be her mom at the moment,” Shelby answered, waiving her hand nonchalantly. “She was very sympathetic.”

Jesse’s anger came back in full force, burning at the pit of his stomach. “It was all a front, just so you know. She didn’t want you to feel like she was a burden, but honest to God, in hindsight she should have raged at you for being a —”

“Don’t you dare,” Shelby hissed, shutting him up. “You have no say in the matter.”

“I do, too! I’m owed the right to speak my mind,” Jesse exclaimed. “And whatever the circumstances, Rachel is still my girlfriend.”

“Yeah well, that has to end.”

Jesse deflated. “What?”

“I’m sure you realize that, if you come back to Vocal Adrenaline, you can’t keep dating the lead of New Directions,” Shelby said, with the tone one would reserve for an eight-year-old.

“But I don’t want to,” Jesse answered, his voice no more than a whisper.

“What was that?”

“I said, I don’t want to,” he repeated, standing a bit straighter.

“It was not a suggestion, Jesse.”

“I already told you, though! I like Rachel, for real. I know this all started as a ruse, but now I think I might even be—” Jesse couldn’t bring himself to finish his own thought. He was scared as hell to admit it to himself, let alone to Shelby.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like it’s ever stopped you before,” Shelby shrugged. “I gather your reputation as a callous, careless heartbreaker has to come from somewhere.”

Jesse didn’t know how to answer, because it was all true. And it stung like a bitch, especially because with Rachel everything had been different, was different, and he didn’t want to be that person anymore. He was starting to be ashamed of his old self—it was a weird sensation, but one he didn’t want to forego, and surely not in the way Shelby was ordering him to.

“Listen, I really don’t care about your imminent break-up with Rachel,” Shelby stated. “Just do it. And then come back here, ready to work.”

“And what if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll have to call the UCLA Admissions Office and have them revoke your scholarship,” she answered pointedly. “You know I have pull. Good luck asking your father for the money.”

Jesse was dumbfounded. No way in hell his father was going to give him a penny, let alone pay for his entire tuition. He wanted to say something, but the anger and dread he was feeling seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle for his voice.

This is practically blackmail, Jesse thought, annoyed. However, a part of his brain was more worried about disappointing yet another important adult in his life than about anything else. He hated Shelby for manipulating him and Rachel and the whole situation, but he was determined to not be looked at as ‘a failed project’ by anyone else. His family was already enough.

Lost in his thoughts, Jesse was beginning to hate himself as well, because he was actually considering going along with Shelby’s request. He couldn’t ask his family for money, and he couldn’t imagine not going to UCLA after boasting so much about it. In all honesty, he also couldn’t bear the thought of not winning his last national title as a senior; and God knows New Directions were not even close to being victory material, even with him as a member. Besides, no one liked him there or ever listened to him, even though they could really use his advice.

The thought of helming a great number and raising another national trophy was more and more appealing with every passing minute—and with that the certainty of actually being worth all the fuss, regardless of what his father always told him, and the confirmation his self-confidence (arrogance?) was not misplaced. The voice in his head (a voice that sounded painfully like Rachel’s) kept telling him he was reverting to his old dickish ways, but… well, he’d been suppressing that particular thought for a very long time.

After a while, Jesse lifted his head, his eyes meeting Shelby’s. He clenched his jaw, then nodded stiffly.

Shelby relaxed, and started gathering her things. “Good boy. Now, I want this break up with Rachel and with New Directions to be grand—there has to be no doubt that you have closed that door. Squash their morale, too, for good measure.” She shouldered her bag and started walking towards the exit. Then she turned around and added, almost as an afterthought: “I put Giselle in charge of the whole thing, by the way. Apparently, she already has some brilliant ideas or whatever. I don’t care what you do, just do it well. See you on Friday,” she said, before disappearing out the door.

Jesse sighed, and picked up his bag from the floor. Anger was still simmering somewhere in his guts, but it was being silenced by a wave of uneasiness and by a dull and persistent heartache. He grabbed his phone to check his notifications, and saw that Giselle had already written him a string of messages. He read them, purposefully ignoring the texts he’d received from Rachel in the meantime.

Jesse St. James, as I live and breathe. Ms Corcoran told me you’re coming back and let me tell you, fi.na.lly.

Anyway, I’ve already started planning a couple of fun things to remind those losers who the superior show choir is

Tomorrow be here sharp and ready cause we start rehearsing

Also there’s gonna be something special just for your girlfriend – we’re not comfortable with you simply breaking up with her. It has to be hard and memorable,, you’ve already played mole before and we’re not willing to risk it

Stay tuned for that (and remember it’s a deal breaker if you want us to back you up as lead ever again)

Jesse groaned, already dreading whatever the hell was coming. He tried to suppress the shame he felt by imagining himself holding a fourth national trophy (which was easy) and trying not to think about Rachel (which was very, very hard).

He spent the drive home furiously wiping the tears off his cheeks.

#glee #glee fanfiction #jesse st james #shelby corcoran #fanfiction #i've had this stored in my brain for close to a year and finally it has seen the light of day #glee (tv)#my fics

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