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#post canceled i am too bad at maths and thinking
unxpctedlygreat · 1 year
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Me trying to figure out a possible age for Miklan/how old Matthias could have been when he had him, basing myself on Catherine's age
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orbleglorb · 5 days
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blaseball in the tumblr universe, part 4
(part 3 might be needed for context)
[ID 1: divider to show that there is a new post]
[ID 2: divider to show that a new reblog has been added to a post /end IDs]
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anonymous asked:
so what exactly did you think was going to happen when you made your tumblr username Official Jessica Telephone?
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
idk man i thought maybe before sending an ask, which you have to click on my profile to do, people would see my header that says "not jessica telephone" in all caps. maybe they'd even read my bio that says i'm a 17 year old transmasc named michael living in the uk.
#telephone calls #please please please it is not that hard.
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🦞 marketplace-shellfish 🔁
👛 antique-handbags Follow
Working in ILB offices is so fun. Why did my boss just ask me who Donald Trump is.
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👛 antique-handbags
Wrong blog but too late to delete now :P
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🦞 marketplace-shellfish
Wait. So Parker IIIII knows who Ronald Reagan is, but not Donald Trump?
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👛 antique-handbags
The Game Band (and me and some others, but mostly TGB) give Commish school lessons on off hours. They've only made it to around the 80s or 90s in history in the eleven-ish years he's been around. I usually do English and Math with him so IDK what's going on there.
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🦞 marketplace-shellfish
Amazing. What the fuck
#I hope that's not supposed to be confidential #Would rather not get fired #<- Prev honestly I don't think anyone but maybe your coworkers could figure out who you are? #You're pretty good at not sharing personal details outside of this post #Or maybe I've missed a couple of posts idk
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anonymous asked:
You're one to get up on a soapbox about respecting celebrities. You literally named yourself after Mike Townsend.
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
i literally named myself after michael the distortion tma
#telephone calls #hitting my head against the wall #also i hate being called mike. lmao #canceling my parents for naming my sister after my grandmother
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🐶 catgirlfirefighter 🔁
🌼 buildmeupbuttercup Follow
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🐶 catgirlfirefighter
what if this was my last straw
21,573 notes
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☕️ eyesinthedark11
im sorry but the reader is so funny to me. giant eyeball that comes outta nowhere and says "your team is gonna suck absolute shit this season. here's a card and a riddle. fuck you" and then the coin is so clearly trying to get this guy away from blaseball but it doesn't care. comes every earlsiesta and is like "your team has a chance of sucking so bad it hurts. over under under over" and then LEAVES. do we think the coin and the reader are divorced
#i am NOT maintagging this shit
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cinematics123 · 1 year
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So… there is a lot. And I will probably save some of it for a more focused/personal Buddie post.
First, if you were on the Buddie train (and I am) you were not wrong. Secondly, despite no Buddie, this was an excellent finale. Even the pacing was mostly on point. It was… good tv. If they were going to get cancelled (and they thought they were) this was the canon ending. We’ll call this CanonA. Let’s look at the CanonA ending.
For many of our mains, the firefam, it’s a good ending. Bobby and Athena are both healthy and get their cruise. Maddie and Chimney are planning their legal escape from the IRS wedding.
Hen and Karen story picked back up a thread about a baby, which is very interesting, but… we didn’t really get anything else on Denny and his Dad? Is that story line… done? Are they ok? It seemed like there was more conflict because of how the hospital scene let Nathaniel in but with some real distrust. It feels like they dropped one (meaningful) thread to grasp at another. It’s good, but not great.
Buck’s ending is more mixed; Eddie’s is downright tragic. Buck’s CanonA ending is that he got close to the answer and got the wrong one. Any wonder that his math power crapped out on a date with Natalia? People have said that growth in the show is non-linear. People don’t always learn, people don’t always grow. Buck makes the same couch mistake he did with Taylor. In CanonA, Buck may never know how close he got to that special ending. Instead in CanonA, instead of finding happiness, he goes down the Lev path from 6A. Happy-ish. Girlfriend, maybe kids, life gets busy, maybe finding the meaning at the end. Not bad, but not what “The Age of Absolutely” was about either.
Eddie’s is… tragic. We’ve gotten trickles of Eddie’s real story, but 6B confirmed so much fandom speculation. Though he had met Shannon before, they got together senior year, right into kids and marriage - and Eddie runs away for at least 2 deployments. He bails. He later dates Ana, sees the ready made family - and breaks up with her. He is putting wanting a wife and mother over his heart - that’s canon.
Eddie fawning over Buck in the poker scene and all of 6B is equally canon. Please correct me if I’m wrong but I believe their last deep talk together is… about how Natalia sees Buck. Eddie says the experience had to have changed Buck. Not only does he see Buck… but implies something has changed between him and Buck. With Nat and Buck dating, Eddie rushes to find anyone to date - and basically ends up with Ana2 (instead of Chris’ teacher, she helps him find glue for his project).
It seems like… Eddie’s realized that while he sees Buck, Buck… doesn’t see him. And Buck is not seeing Eddie in that scene. In a kind of parallel to “Buck is in the room”, Eddie needs Buck there too… but this time Buck goes the other way and Eddie doesn’t say a word. Instead, Buck goes… and Eddie goes back to his heteronormative fantasy. Despite saying he wants to get better “for me” he’s after a wife and mother for Chris, Chris is even there with him on the date phone call. It’s not just lack of progress, Eddie got to the very threshold of opening himself to Buck - if only admitting it to himself. Instead back into the closet. That’s Eddie’s CanonA ending. It’s grim. It doesn’t “get better” for Eddie. He gets to the edge and chickens out.
If you think you were misled that Buddie was a romantic plot, you’re right. When looking at our firefam, Buck and Eddie were constantly paired alongside the other couples. We didn’t just see them through a romantic lens, that was how they were presented. In the CanonA ending, there is not even a last scene with Buck and Eddie tighter as friends, it’s Buck&Nat and Eddie/Chris talking to Marisol. The pairing of the two as a couple/family is broken. In itself, that’s sad. Them laughing over beers or Buck being there encouraging Eddie on while he talked would not have broken the “coupling” lens. They deliberately chose to do so.
So much like how Eddie reaches the point of understanding only to hesitate and withdraw back into heteronormativity, so does 911 on Fox. It clearly got to the point of understanding Buddie as a couple, presenting Buddifer as a family, and then… pulls back and gives them last minute female love interests. Like Eddie, it chickens out and loses out on giving Buddie CanonA happy ending. Instead what it gave then was… realistic and everyday bad relationships. They got close, but in a case of life imitating art, like Eddie it settles for being convention and traditional at the expense of its own growth and happiness. I hope 911 on ABC does them better.
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m3-mianbo · 2 years
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Human Rights Campaign must not be where you get your morality from. They have a long history of bad behavior - bother internally and externally - and they're pretty much the last queer advocacy org I'd trust when it comes to who they do and don't support. Instead of watching things on Disney+, the programming should be pirated and then not discussed at all on social media. It's really not that hard! I do it all the time, and I haven't run out of stuff to talk about.
Thank you for your response. You’re doubtless cool.
They (Human Rights Campaign) do seem to have done bad things in the past. Definitely. But h+ave they, maybe, done things to make up for it since then?* Like they have ‘lobbied’ to oppose the existence of DADT. They opposed some of the weird transphobic sports stuff in Florida last year, I think. Florida is, the relevance of this stuff, I guess... If they now think Disney has moved on from their evil support of ‘Don’t Say Gay’, and they are taking money from Disney to oppose that bill, that is just enough to limitedly use Disney+ (in the cost-relevant-context mentioned earlier / in my earlier post).
* I should be careful to know that at the least there is a limit to how bad an original ‘misdeed’ is before no amount of good deed can ‘cancel it out’. I am not the first to think this.
Furthermore, it seems that despite their previous (and valid) concerns about HRC, PrideAtWork now allies themselves to them, at least partially. (Source: PrideATwork article about HRC’s suspension of Walmart)
It should be noted that I do priate/stream/whatever Disney cartoons (cartoons are my favourite Disney stuff) – e.g. TOH and Amphibia. I do <3 The Owl House. I do a lot of cartoon watching via wcosThingy. For some reason I feel I, like, ‘can’t’ stream stuff that isn’t cartoons. I know that’s illogical. Sorry.
I don’t discuss much Disney stuff on tumblr. For my last 10 posts (including re-blogs), only 20% of them have been Disney related. (sorry if that’s wrong I’m not too good at mental maths). (Of course this post would change that statistic).
I have been boycotting Disney (+) for months until recently.
The above has been my attempt to explain my stance on the issue. I will probably boycott D+ again at some point in the future, at least temporarily.-
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”
Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.
lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting
okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer
“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST
I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?
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gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”
btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One
anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO
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ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!
lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD
KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW
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SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW
LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH
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SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS
HOLY SHIT DABI
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I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes
meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels
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ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now
YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK
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WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES
ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that
OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS
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MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!
HEY!!!!
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fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things
well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?
oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess
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(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)
amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --
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“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY
NOOO JEANIST
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LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT
“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them
OH FOR FUCK’S
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I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls
(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)
also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol
yuh oh
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forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time
oh fucksticks
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excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF
HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD
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god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck
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this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??
meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING
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ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME
seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR
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Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg
MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD
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which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life
THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS
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JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!
OH, WELL IN THAT CASE
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BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol
(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)
so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen
“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed
oh shit and now the Noumus are here
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cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know
-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??
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“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT
fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku
FMMFHDKUHK W H A T
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HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK
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(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)
MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??
hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG
MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD
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natromanxoff · 3 years
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Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)
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Fan Stories
“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman
“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine
“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin
“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.
As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert
“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.
When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield
Part-1
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thejudgingtrash · 3 years
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Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?
Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).
I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.
Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:
What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.
Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.
I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???
Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.
If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.
Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.
However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?
This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.
Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.
Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.
Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.
Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:
Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm
Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life
Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality
(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.
Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).
Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.
Big ALSO:
Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?
I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.
We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).
Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?
Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).
Moreover…
Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.
Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).
Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.
The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?
No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.
Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?
Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.
They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!
Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?
Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…
(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)
Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.
I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?
The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.
This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.
And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.
Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.
TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.
We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.
Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!
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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years
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All this trans!Nie Mingjue really makes me want some trans!Jiang Cheng, and if you want too, maybe him ending out pregnant instead of his core being melted, because if I remember correctly Wen Zhuli was honorable, so if Jiāng Cheng did get raped by one of his subordinates, I feel he’d try too limit Jiang Cheng’s suffering.
“It’s not that I’m especially opposed to an alliance by marriage, but who were you planning on having marry in?” Nie Mingjue asked Jiang Fengmian and Madame Yu politely.
They blinked at him.
“I think,” Madame Yu said dryly, after a few minutes, “that we were planning on A-Cheng marrying in. Women usually do.”
“But your son isn’t a woman,” Nie Mingjue said, which he thought was quite reasonable.
“I don’t have a son,” Jiang Fengmian said. “Only two daughters.”
Nie Mingjue frowned. “You have an older daughter and a younger son. Hasn’t he told you?”
“Ah, you mean – by Qinghe standards,” Jiang Fengmian said. He sounded uncomfortable with the idea, which made Nie Mingjue’s eyes narrow and Jiang Fengmian immediately drop the notion of saying something more along those lines. After all, Nie Mingjue himself was a man ‘by Qinghe standards’, as the other sect leader put it, and starting trouble with Qinghe wasn’t on the agenda for today. “Sect Leader Nie, I appreciate your concern, but my daughter –”
“Son.”
“My daughter is a woman. We don’t practice Qinghe ways here.”
“It doesn’t really matter what you practice in the Lotus Pier,” Nie Mingjue said. He was wearing his best pleasant smile, which most people said looked like he was about to start chopping people into pieces. It was, at the moment, a fair description. “From my perspective, with my Qinghe ways, you have a son, who is a man. However you wish to treat him or raise him is up to you, of course, and I’m still willing to arrange a marriage between him and Huaisang, to be maintained or cancelled at their will when they’re older, including a marriage in which Jiang Cheng marries into the Unclean Realm. But what I will not tolerate is Huaisang getting confused by being told on one hand that he has a wife and the other a husband. He’s very fragile after our father’s death; I’m sure you understand.”
Jiang Fengmian, who’d been about to protest, shut his mouth, his desire for Nie Mingjue not to bring up, yet again, the fact of his father’s murder at the hands of Wen Ruohan – a murder that would need to be answered for, one day – outweighing his desire to argue back.
It was a petty move, but Nie Mingjue was aware that he had very few cards to play against the older and more influential man, and that meant he had to use them all no matter how petty to get what he wanted.
Mostly, in this case, for Jiang Cheng to be treated the way he so obviously identified. The damage that could be done by people who didn’t understand this sort of thing was incalculable – it was worth sticking his nose into another family’s business, no matter how rude, to try to make a difference if he could.
There were long few minutes of silence, in which Nie Mingjue stood his (tenuous) ground and Jiang Fengmian considered possible responses that would result in even more awkwardness.
Just at the point that it was getting intolerable, Madame Yu snorted, a surprisingly inelegant sound for such a refined woman.
“Let him be a son and a husband, then,” she said, her voice a little waspish. “If he changes his mind later, he can resume being a daughter, and there will be no loss.”
It wasn’t exactly how Nie Mingjue had intended on settling Nie Huaisang’s marriage, but it seemed a worthwhile conclusion, even if Jiang Fengmian was clearly not entirely on board.
“Very well,” he said. “Are we agreed?”
The marriage was unofficially dissolved when the boys were twelve, if by ‘dissolved’ one meant that the entire Jiang sect had entirely forgotten that their young master had ever been a young mistress, even Jiang Fengmian. A casual comment to Madame Yu that she ought to consider finding someone to marry in to their sect so that the heir could be officially confirmed, rather than wasting him on a cutsleeve marriage out, was more than enough for the entire concept to be permanently misplaced.  
(Not that he thought they would make a bad pair, but if that was the case they could always figure it out for themselves later on.)
As far as Nie Mingjue was concerned, that was the end of it.
And yet, years later, it was at Nie Mingjue’s tent in Heijan that Jiang Cheng came, a twisted expression on his face.
“I have a problem,” he said, and touched his stomach lightly in a place a little too far down to suggest a stomachache. “I don’t know what to do about it, and – when I was younger, Huaisang said – well. I thought you might have some insight.”
Nie Mingjue let Jiang Cheng into the tent and put up a silencing array behind him, the sort used to protect news delivered by the most important spies.
“I’m not sure what you want me to tell you,” he said honestly. “It’s not a problem I’ve encountered on a personal basis, if you understand my meaning. Do you want to keep it or not?”
Jiang Cheng settled down where Nie Mingjue led him, still grimacing. “I don’t know,” he said. “The idea of bearing a child for any one of them disgusts me beyond telling. But on the other hand, what did the child have to do with it? It seems unfair not to give it a chance to live.”
“It’s not a child yet,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. He could do math, and the fall of the Lotus Pier wasn’t that long ago. “There’s no way that it’s quickened this soon after. Right now, it’s a problem that can be eliminated with a bowl of medicine, if that’s what you want.”
“I know,” Jiang Cheng said. “I’m considering it. It’s only…on one hand, even if it’s not a child yet, it could be a child, if I let it. A Jiang child, with me as its father, and obviously my Jiang sect could use as many new members as possible, no matter what the other half of their biological origin. But on the other hand – wouldn’t it be irresponsible to carry a child now? I’m leading the Jiang sect’s efforts against the Wens, trying to avenge what they did to me, to my parents, to my sect, and a child would be a distraction from that…and Wei Wuxian, who might have helped me out, is still missing.”
Nie Mingjue didn’t comment on Wei Wuxian, even though he itched, as he often did, to remind Jiang Cheng that no matter how atrociously Jiang Fengmian had behaved – and no matter what the condition of his birth had been, legitimate and incorrectly categorized – he was the son and heir of the Jiang clan.
Not the child Jiang Fengmian had brought in and treated as if he’d been the son he’d never had.
(Really, Nie Mingjue didn’t understand places like Yunmeng. What was the point of not recognizing misaligned reincarnations like theirs? It wouldn’t make it any less true.)
“Depending on the way it affects you, you could be out in the fields for months still,” he said reasonably. “Certainly plenty of mothers in Qinghe don’t go into isolation until there’s only a few weeks left. And even if you aren’t, I can take charge on the battlefield while you consult on strategy from the backend, the same way you would if you’d been taken out of the field because of an injury – Lan Xichen is doing much the same thing, when he’s not acting as courier, and he’s doing it because he’s a terrible general rather than any logistical reason.”
“But it’s not an injury.”
Nie Mingjue frowned at him. “You’re making it very difficult to resist making some sort of pun about the Wen sect’s swords, Sect Leader Jiang, and I don’t even like that sort of crude humor.”
Jiang Cheng took a second to get it, then snorted. “I supposed you could say I got ‘stabbed’ a few times, yes.”
“Only a few times? They really are worthless dogs.”
And now Jiang Cheng was laughing, even though he was trying to stop himself. “That’s terrible, stop it…you know, I suppose, if you look at it from a certain perspective, I really am just suffering from – from post-stabbing complications.”
“Seems reasonable enough to me.” Nie Mingjue poured Jiang Cheng a cup of the tea that had already been cooling on his desk – a little rude, but better than wasting time making a new pot. “If you do decide to keep it, you can leave the child with Nie Huaisang once it’s born, if you like. He’s always liked children, and it’s not as if I’m going to let him get anywhere near a battlefield, now or ever.”
“Are you sure he’s not a woman?” Jiang Cheng asked. He sounded almost wistful, which suggested that the arranged marriage they’d set up so many years ago might even have a chance of resurrecting; Nie Mingjue would have to slip Nie Huaisang a hint. “With the fans and the birds and the pretty things –”
“He says he isn’t, and so he isn’t,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. “I admit it’d make it easier if he was. No one outside of Qinghe would question his below-average talent or his love of frivolities if he was a woman, however unfair that might be, and it’d make things easier for him.”
“You’d still yell at him to practice his saber.”
“Of course. What does saber have to do with gender?”
Jiang Cheng smiled and shook his head. “Thank you,” he said. “I still haven’t decided one way or another, but…it’s good to know there’s a way to do it, if I want, that doesn’t mean that – I’m not as brave as you. I don’t want people to know.”
“It’s not a matter of bravery,” Nie Mingjue said. “It’s common etiquette. Anyone who spends time thinking about another person’s genitals that isn’t planning on courting them is wasting their time.”
Jiang Cheng snickered. “No, I mean – people know about you, that you’re misaligned. You’ve never been shy about it.”
Nie Mingjue was pretty sure Jiang Cheng was thinking about the incident during a discussion conference some years back when he’d been shouting at Jin Guangshan over something or another – loud enough to be audible across half the city, it seemed, based on the number of people who talked about it afterwards – and ended the rant by telling the other sect leader to suck his non-existent dick.
“I’m not really a shy person,” he said dryly, and Jiang Cheng pressed his lips together in an evident attempt to avoid descending into giggles – he’s definitely thinking about the suck-my-dick comment. “Also, Qinghe is a bit more open about these things; it makes it easier, not having to explain exactly what it means or doesn’t mean. Don’t be too hard yourself.”
Jiang Cheng didn’t seem convinced, but nodded anyway.
“It’s not just that,” he said, though obviously it was, in some large part, that. Jiang Cheng’s complicated relationship with Wei Wuxian was proof of it, if nothing else. “It’s also – people can do math. I don’t want people thinking I’m weak, or a pushover.”
“No one who has seen you wield Zidian is likely to make that mistake,” Nie Mingjue said, but he could tell from the set of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders that that wasn’t enough. “It isn’t weakness, you know. Anyone can be captured, anyone can be tortured – some people will have to live without a leg or an arm, after what they suffered, and that’s the lucky ones that didn’t die. That’s all it ever is in war – just luck, good or bad. If I walked into a Wen ambush next week, I’d be as liable to complications from a Wen ‘stab’ as you, but it wouldn’t be because my strength wasn’t enough.”
“I guess,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s just – if I kept the child, people would have to know, wouldn’t they?”
“Says who? If you retire from the battlefield due to complications from an injury for a few months, then the assumption will be that you found out that you got some poor girl pregnant and took on the child once you knew. If you do want people to know that you carried it, well, children come and go at their own speed.” Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Let some gossip overhear you talking about how you were already carrying the Lotus Pier’s next heir before any Wen set a foot on Yunmeng soil, and everyone will put together the rest. You know how it goes.”
“I suppose I do, at that.”
“Huaisang could probably put together a convincing story,” Nie Mingjue said. “He’s really very good at identifying every possible point in time and place where someone could be having sex, even if the actual personalities involved make it highly unlikely. And then he illustrates it, usually.”
Jiang Cheng was smiling, and his shoulders were straight again – his burdens lifted, however temporarily.
Good.
“Let me know what you decide,” Nie Mingjue said. “I know just enough about medicine to be able to mix you up what you need using just the medicine I already keep in my general collection, so no one would need to know, if that’s what you choose. And if you choose the other way, well, I have the medicines to help support that, too.”
“You keep that much medicine?”
“I’m not sure if you’ve heard about the tendency of the Qinghe Nie towards qi deviations –” Of course he had. Everyone had. “– but we have a habit of keeping an awful lot of medicine on hand.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jiang Cheng said, and he was frowning a little, thoughtful, but not as stressed as he’d been earlier. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Nie Mingjue said. “Really, don’t. If I let it get out that I give advice, every misaligned sonofabitch that wants to get a promotion will start showing up at my door with problems that are really just an excuse to get a chat in with the sect leader, and then where will my troubles end?”
Jiang Cheng, who was dealing with similar problems, smirked. “That doesn’t seem like my problem. At least people know better than to ask anything of me.”
“That can change,” Nie Mingjue said threateningly. “I’ll get Huaisang on it; see what happens to your reputation then.”
Jiang Cheng held up his hands in surrender as he retreated.
Nie Mingjue wondered for a moment which way he’d pick, but then remembered that it wasn’t his business and also that there was a war on that needed his attention a bit more.
Personal problems could wait.
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eroticcannibal · 3 years
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Common myths and misconceptions about home education
So in case anyone has somehow missed it, I have recently become a Big supporter of home education in a very lefty way, which has meant I have had to challenge a lot of views I have previously held about home education and that I know a lot of other lefties hold too. I am of the opinion that embracing home education, not as a last resort, but as the primary form of education for as many children as possible, is a vital part of achieving the required shifts in society needed to meet the goals of most leftists. So I am taking it on myself to convince you all that it is a very good thing, and also to clear up some misconceptions people have about home education that may make them feel they are unable to do it.
(A note, I am from the UK and shall be using UK terminology and specifics regarding law, policy and other such things will be from a UK perspective. I shall be using the term home education, as that is the legal term in the UK and is distinct from home schooling, which is the term for what school children have been doing during the pandemic.)
And I would also like to extend a quick thanks to Education Otherwise and the mods at Home education and your local authority for teaching me A LOT.
Have any questions about anything I’ve not covered here? Just let me know!
1. “Home education is illegal.”
- Sadly, home education is illegal or restricted to the point of inaccessibility in most of the world. From the research I have done, it seems that only the US and the UK have reasonable laws around home education (if I am using a very broad definition of reasonable, it is still not great). I do hope I can change this section soon, and I would *heavily* encourage people to campaign for the right to home educate post pandemic, perhaps cite any benefits learning at home has provided to children, perhaps???
2. “Home education is a tool used by religious fundamentalists to brainwash children!”
- This is a view many hold, and for good reason. For many of us, when we think of home education, we think of christian fundamentalists in the deep south of America, pulling their children out of school to avoid the liberal agenda. The truth is, anything can be used as a tool of indoctrination. This can happen in home education, and it can happen and has happened in schools too. In my own communities we have had instances of schools being a site of religious radicalization of children. The reality is this is far too complex and deep an issue to be solved by deeming any particular form of education as “bad”. I am not an expert on how best to deal with such issues, but I do feel that things like outreach and building a healthy community with otherwise more isolated religious groups would be a better way to address these issues.
3. “You need to have x qualification to home educate.”
- Again, a reasonable view to hold, given that state run and private education does require educators to hold certain qualifications, but in practice it quickly becomes evident the same does not necessarily have to apply with home education. Educational qualifications are very much focused on delivering an education in a classroom, which is a far cry from home education. During our home education of our child, my partner, who is a qualified SEN TA, has struggled far more than I have with educating our SEN child, despite the fact I hold no qualifications.
We live in amazing times when it comes to education. There are many things that parents and communities have to teach a child, and there are many things a child can teach to themself if given the tools to do so. You can even learn together! Their are endless resources available, books and games and documentaries, and even home education groups and private tutors if you feel that is the right fit for your child. You don’t need a piece of paper for your child to spend a day with their nose buried in a book, or to help the neighbor with his vegetable patch, or to cuddle up on the sofa while watching Planet Earth.
4. “You are required to follow the national curriculum.”
- This does vary by country (that allows home education). As a general rule, the stricter a country is about who can home educate, the stricter they are about what must be taught. In the UK, you are not required to follow the national curriculum. Education must be “efficient” and suited to the child’s “age, aptitude and ability”, and LAs do require that english and maths are covered. Other than that, you are allowed to tailor the content of education to the child and their interests. We have recently dropped geography for now and are only just picking up history again. It has also given us the freedom to focus on areas our child needs that would not be covered in mainstream education, such as anxiety management, trauma processing, self care and hygiene.
5. “Home education looks like school/is just filling out workbooks/etc”
- The thing you will always hear from experienced home educators when you begin home education is “home education doesn’t need to be school at home”. Much like you can tailor the content of the learning to the child, you can also tailor the delivery to the child. Some child need structure, timetable, instructions. Some need freedom and to bounce between topics. Some need to have an hour learning maths and only maths, some need to go dig up your garden “for science”. Some want to learn every day, some will need extended breaks.
Learning happens all the time, from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep. As an example, at home we have some workbooks, as both me and my child have ADHD and need someone to go “ok learn this” rather than us having to work out for ourselves what we need to cover for core subjects like english and maths. For the rest of most days my child is left to their own devices to binge youtube and netflix and work on their art. We try and go for a woodland walk every few days, where we have Deep Discussions about all kinds of topics, and we are also working on growing edible plants and baking cakes from around the world. We are more hands-off at the moment, due to the current bout of anxiety, but when that settles again we will get back to history themed crafts and STEM activities. Post-pandemic, we will be signing our kid up for swimming classes and “after school” clubs, and looking at sending them down to my mum for the home ed groups where she lives, like the forest school. A lot of home education outside of a pandemic is in groups and community based, or will make use of libraries and museums and other public learning opportunities. Frequently very little will happen at home.
In fact many home educators will advise new families to “deschool” for a while before jumping in to learning. This is a period where you “get school out of your system”, and just exist. Learning does not have to be intentional, you will be surprised how much you can achieve by just having fun.
6. “Home education is expensive.”
- It can be, ask my bank account. However, it is perfectly possible to deliver a quality education with little to no money. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s doable. Their are many online resources for free (check out oak academy), and libraries have plenty available too. Even paid resources can be very cheap if you know where to look. (psst, if your kid thrives with worksheets and powerpoints, get yourself a twinkl subscription, download everything you need for a year then cancel it.)
(This does not apply to exams. Get saving!)
7. “Home educated children are not properly socialised.”
- This is only really true during the pandemic. The rest of the time, home educated children are free to socialise whenever they want, with whoever they want, in whatever setting they choose. Socialisation while home educating is in the opinions of many of a higher quality, as they are not limited to groups of a similar age and background. Many home educating families form groups for their children to socialise together too. For ND children especially, socialising while home educated can be far less stressful and far more fulfilling than in school.
8. “Home educated children won’t get qualifications.”
- Just plain not true. Arranging qualifications can be costly and time consuming, but it is possible and regularly done. Some children may return to school or college to access exams for free, and I have heard of a handful of cases where individuals were able to secure prestigious university places without any qualifications. Home education also allows for more freedom with how exams and qualifications are approached, for example, many home educated children will pick one GCSE to focus on at a time, rather than covering numerous topics over 2 years and having exams for all of them at once like children in school will.
9. “Home education is a safeguarding risk/is used to cover up abuse/home educated children are not seen.”
- In the UK at least, home education is not considered a safeguarding risk, no matter what authorities may tell you, nor are home educated “not seen”. They still visit medical professionals, they still engage with their communities.
Now I shall add the relevant paper here should I find it again, but the idea that home education is used to cover up abuse to a statistically significant degree, or that home educated children are at more risk of abuse, is false. Home educating families do face a significantly higher risk of social services involvement than other families, but far less abuse is found in comparison to other families. It is also worth considering, when talking about social services involvement, that many families pursue home education due to failures by schools regarding a child’s vulnerabilities. In most cases, especially the Big Ones, where a home educated child is abused, the child was already known to authorities as a victim of abuse, therefore home educating did nothing to hide said abuse.
Children are also routinely abused in schools, which is another common reason for home educating.
10. “Home education has to be monitored or approved.”
- Depends on the country, I know in Japan home education is monitored by schools, however in the UK, monitoring is not lawful. Local authorities may make informal enquiries to ensure a suitable education is being facilitated (keep EVERYTHING in writing and please go straight to “home education and your local authority” group on FB for advice, you WILL need it!). In England, if your child is in mainstream education, you can deregister at will, from a special school will require LA approval. In Scotland deregistering requires LA approval. (Again, head to the aforementioned group for advice).
11. “You can’t work/get an education while home educating”
- It is hard to balance work, education and educating your child, but it is possible, people do it every day. Obviously, having at least one parent free to educate unhindered at all times is an ideal situation, but in the real world it often does not work that way. Parents may have to home educate regardless of their other commitments if a child truly needs to escape the school system. Many parents work or learn from home, and sometimes it is even possible to combine these activities with home education. Professional artists and crafters can pass down their skills while working, distance learners can invite their children to sit in on lectures. The really great thing about home education is it is flexible. Do you have a whole day of meetings? Let the kid play minecraft all day! Going to be in the office all day? Drop the kid off at the local forest school or something else they can do all day. Drop them with the grandparents to help with the gardening!
12. “Home educated are behind/achieve less than school children.”
- Their is no evidence that home education is of a lower quality than school education. Many children are home educated specifically because the school environment was detrimental to their education, and thrive with home education. Plenty of children are able to learn more simply by having 1-to-1 attention, without the distraction of an entire class. And others may well be “behind”, and are educated at home because of their specific needs that mean they will never thrive in an academic setting, so they are allowed to focus on learning skills that will allow them to live independently.
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i-am-extremely-mad · 3 years
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It shocks me over and over again when I come across blogs that extremely aggressively, absolutely HATE LOK, Korra, korrasami and practically every character and aspect of the show. I have to share this horror with others because these are just a small part of the awful views from that blog (supposedly feminist and lesbian), interestingly, attitudes about LOK and korrasami were mostly positive or at least neutral in 2014-2015, and then abruptly changed sometime in the middle of last year which coincides with LOK finally being on Netflix, I will probably respond to if I am in the mood for a toxic discussion...
Anonymous asked:
“I think it's a bit hypocritical that you hate Korra's personality and not Zuko's.Zuko is arrogant asshole bitch and you like him. I never see you criticizing him like you do with Korra”
“Zuko is an arrogant asshole bitch, but he’s not annoying. Korra is an arrogant asshole bitch and is very annoying. Hope this helps!”
#asks#anti lok#going to absolutely BLOW YOUR MIND to find out that the quality of the media itself determines how much I like a character#as well as the quality of the characters development#also this isn't math there is no transitive property for liking characters#some hit and some don't#get over it#Anonymous
Anonymous asked:
“As soon as I heard “I’m the Avatar; you’ve gotta deal with it!” I knew I would fucking hate that show. I naturally hate people who are like that. If Bryke was still smart they would have thought to make Korra’s personality more like water similar to Aang with air, not “haha fuck you, I’m avatar haha!”
“LOL YEP like 3 seconds into the show you hear that, and understand EXACTLY what the rest of LOK is going to be like. Not only is a jarring contrast to Aang and every other Avatar we’ve seen, it directly contradicts everything we know about the Avatar cycle from ATLA. All the other Avatars have to be TOLD that they are the Avatar, and have to work hard to master their non-native elements. Korra just naturally being able to bend 3 elements when she’s like 5 tells you everything you need to know about how the creators of LOK went about making their show: worldbuilding and logic don’t matter, it’s all about flashy visuals and one-time gags.”
#asks#anti lok#DISGOSTING#'meh meh if korra was a MAN you wouldn't call her arrogant' I absolutely would#korra being a dickhead is not okay just because she's a woman#Anonymous
Anonymous asked:
“Korrasami is shit,a joke, boring af, they don't have romantic chemistry, asami acts like a big sister towards korra. there I said it for you.”
“OOP! Well, I certainly didn’t say it!”
#asks#anti lok#but ur right#ACTUALLY I disagree on one point#asami doesn't act like a sister to korra#they act like work colleagues that only ever hang out during their lunch break#they act like very distant cousins that only talk on facebook#they act like people that share mutual friends but don't know each other that well#okay I'll stop#Anonymous
“Korra: 1/10, I will see myself out the door to be CANCELLED! Not only was her character very unlikeable, but the way fandom reared up to defend this (quite frankly) terrible character under the guise of “wokeness” when it is clear that the creators sprinkled in just enough ~representation~ to get brownie points without actually saying anything meaningful is just EMBARRASSING. Korra defenders are being manipulated by those cishet white men they hate so much, and they do it gladly. Anyway, I find Korra boring, disrespectful, and underdeveloped.”
#asks#ask game#character ask game#anti lok#SORRY YALL LOK'S CHARACTERS ARE BAD#also korra gives off 'mean feminine lesbian who calls gnc women slurs' vibes#korra and asami would bully me and then call me a homophobe#and kuvira gives off such heterosexuelle vibes I simply CANNOT with her#thetpot
“IT’S SO VILE! Korra is barely even an active character in her own show! She’s just a vessel that gets beaten and broken over and over again. She doesn’t actually get to LEARN from any mistakes that she makes, she’s just forced to recover from these external traumas that have literally nothing to do with her.
Ugh, tbh I feel NOTHING for korrasami. Korra and Asami don’t speak about anything except Mako for most of the show, and only really start actually TALKING to each other in the last half of season 4. None of Korra’s friends really spend that much time together throughout the runtime of the show tbh.
But yeah, it’s frustrating that people tout LOK as this amazing show staring a queer WOC, but the people making the show HATED Korra and HATED developing her in a meaningful way.”
Anonymous asked:    
“Korra was like Zuko at the beginning of the show, now she in season 4 is like Aang. Bryke gave kuvira a redemption bc team avatar was missing a Zuko. now she is the new zuko and not Korra.”
Sorry, my brain short circuited. You think Korra???? Is like Aang???? That might be the most offensive thing I have ever received in this askbox.
#asks#anti lok#KORRA IS LIKE AANG#IN WHAT UNIVERSE#HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BOY LIKE THIS#I WON'T STAND FOR IT#Anonymous
“also lock me in lesbian prison but korrasami is WEAK! they didn’t have a single conversation that wasn’t about mako for 3.5 seasons!!! they had zero moments together to indicate that asami would be the only person that korra would write to!!! yall tricked me, I thought I was getting some gay shit.
#anti lok#I SAID WHAT I SAID#korra had more chemistry in her one scene with opal than she ever did with asami”
Anonymous asked:
What do you think of korrasami?
no thank u, I don’t feel like being called a homophobe by a bunch of straight women today.
#asks#anti lok#a hornet's nest I will not be swinging at on this Monday lmao#I hate everything in lok you do the math#I'm sure I've talked about my issues with korrasami on my blog SOMEWHERE#have fun!#Anonymous
Not me seeing posts giving LOK and Korrasami credit for queerness in animation when Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and She-Ra were doing it unapologetically, openly, right from the very beginning....
#anti lok#TESTING MY GODDAMN PATIENCE#if korrasami was individually influential for you as a queer woman that's FINE#but do NOT give this insane credit to the cishet writing team of LOK!!!#not when these other shows were made by ACTUAL QUEER WOMEN#DISGOSTING
Anonymous asked:
if ur looking for an actual well-written canon wlw pairing in the atla verse, there’s rangshi. fc yee works so hard to fix all of bryke’s garbage, bless his soul. i have no hope for anything avatar studios related, but if fc yee is in the writer’s room, then there may be a very marginal chance that the stuff coming out is at least somewhat worthy of being associated with atla. the worldbuilding that he’s done in rise of kyoshi is insane.
I have heard good things about the Kyoshi novels! Unfortunately, LOK is the drop of shit that has poisoned the entire water supply. All ATLA-related works are going to have to be LOK compliant now, which is so deeply restrictive and contradictory to what I liked about ATLA in the first place. I feel like pre-canon stuff is safer (and again, heard AMAZING things about what FC Yee has done with a pre-ATLA world), but I guess I’m too cynical to get really invested in any more ATLA stuff anymore.
#asks#atla#anti lok#put Nat in charge of Avatar Studios and THEN we'll talk#finally get the thotty aang and amazing worldbuilding THAT WE DESERVE#Anonymous
I know, this was awful to see...
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My Treasure - William Nylander
Request: Can you do one where you are pregnant with William nylanders baby and getting hate and he makes you feel better
Getting pregnant at 24 was definitely not a part of my 5 year post college plan. Then again falling in love wasn't one of my bullet points either. But when my period was over a week late I knew that everything was about to change. William was thrilled when he saw the bolded word on the pregnancy test, immediately wanting to tell anyone he could. I was a little more hesitant to share the news.
I knew that I wanted children someday and those feelings intensified once my relationship with William became serious, I just figured we would be married and I would be a little more secure in my teaching job before we would add a baby to the mix. We told our families first and they were all excited and happy for us, same with friends and teammates. The real problem came when we started to share the news with the rest of the world. On William's social media everyone was happy for us and wishing us well, but mine is where all of the hate went.
She probably got knocked up so he couldn't leave her.
Hopefully you don't gain too much baby weight, you could already stand to lose a little.
You're not even pregnant with his kid I bet, just went to the guy with the biggest paycheck.
I did my best to delete the comments as soon as I saw them, hiding them from William so he wouldn’t get upset. Some people didn't get the hint after the first deleted comment and I would end up blocking them. Two weeks after announcing our pregnancy the nasty comments were outweighing the nice ones of my post. My pregnancy hormones went crazy one day when my pants didn't fit for the first time of the pregnancy and William was away on a road trip until the morning.
I canceled my plans to go get dinner with some friends and instead had a pity party in some of William's clothes with ice cream and reading through all the horrible things that were being said about me.
I can't believe he is still with her, she is not pretty enough for him.
Fat cow
You are going to ruin his career with the child.
I cried myself to sleep on the couch after midnight and didn't wake up until someone was brushing some hair out of my face. Slowly opening my eyes I saw a concerned William kneeling on the floor in front of me. "Ellie, what’s wrong? Were you crying?" I sat up, making room for William next to me before he pulled me into his lap. "Your friends texted me last night and told me you skipped on going to dinner with them. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"
"The baby is fine, I just couldn't find anything that fit comfortably with the bump. I had a pity party with ice cream and must have fallen asleep." Everything I said was true, I just left out one major thing.
"I'm sorry babe, but can I finally buy you some new maternity clothes? Please." He gave me puppy dog eyes as he begged, causing me to laugh and turn to face him more.
"You love shopping more than I do."
"Is that a yes? I'm taking that as a yes. Go get ready, shopping might take all day." With that he was carrying me down the hall, laughing the entire way. When he finally set me down I managed to find a t-shirt dress that wasn't too uncomfortable and proceeded to get ready.
***
After a full day of shopping William took me out to dinner at our favorite Spanish restaurant. I excused myself after we ordered a bunch of small plates to share to run to the bathroom and when I got back William was standing at the table with a large plastic bag and shaking hands with the owner. "What's going on?" 
"I thought you might be more comfortable if we went home and ate. I've kept you busy most of the day so I know your feet must be bothering you." His tone was off but I brushed it off as we headed out. The drive home was a tense silence without even the radio playing.
I didn't say anything until we were in the apartment and William started slamming cabinet doors as he got plates. "What's wrong?"
"I just don't get why people spend so much time trying to make other people down! Like, what does it do for them?" He had a fire in his eyes I had only ever seen on the ice, and I wasn't sure what was causing it.
"I'm going to some more context here. Did something happen at the restaurant?"
"Before we left the last store I took a couple of pictures for our shopping day and posted them to Instagram. I thought it was no big deal, just sharing what I was up to on a day off. And then when you were in the bathroom your phone started buzzing like crazy so I thought someone was trying to call you. But all of your notifications were for Instagram, and I know I shouldn't have opened the app on your phone but I thought maybe it was your girlfriends' group chat and Sophie finally got engaged." I let out a small chuckle at that, we basically were taking bets on when her and her high school sweetheart would finally take the next step.
"I'm guessing that isn't what you saw." I knew what he was going to say next but I was hoping with every fiber of my being that I was wrong.
"No, I saw the worst of humanity in your DMs. I just- how can people be so cruel?" William slumped into the bar stool next to me at the island as I reached for my phone having to see what was sent to me now. "Ellie…" I ignored his worried warning as I opened up the app, going to my DMs.
Fat cow, you only got pregnant so that you could lock in some who is far too good for you. I hope he sees he could do so much better and kicks you out before that baby ruins his career and life!
So you are just using him for his money. I bet the baby isn’t even his, probably a teammate who makes less. Whore!
Bitch, why are you even with Willy? He is a literal hockey god and from what i can tell you are just some stupid high school math teacher. He can do so much better than you. 
There were over 50 messages just like those, all sent within the last hour. I didn't even dare look at the comments on my latest post, even though it was a few days old the braver trolls put their nasty messages there for the whole world to see.
"How long has this been happening?" I had hopped off my stool, going to plate up the food we brought home and trying to avoid the conversation I knew we needed to have. "Ellie… Please talk to me. How long?"
"Honestly, since we started posting that we were dating. It's gotten worse since we posted that we are gonna be parents."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because part of me thought that if I just deleted the messages and comments that it wasn't real. That if I was the only one who knew that I could just pretend that it was all in my head. Then there is that stupid voice in my head that likes to play up my insecurities, that made me feel like if you saw what people were sending me that you would believe it. And I know that thinking that is stupid and unrealistic but it can sometimes be the loudest thing in there." William also got off his stool, coming to stand right in front of me. He kissed my forehead before cupping my cheeks and holding eye contact.
"Min skatt, never feel like you have to hide this from me. You are the one I am in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the only one that can make me smile and laugh when I am in a bad mood after a game. You are the only one I see myself growing old, and possibly bald with." I let out a gasp at the word bald, he was so protective about his hair.
"See, the rational part of me knows all that."
"Well, let me make it clear to every part of you. I love you with every fiber of my being and as soon as I meet with your father next week to ask for his blessing, I will be asking you to marry me."
"Will…"
"But I am going to need you to act surprised when I ask." That got a small chuckle out of me. 
"I'll do my best." William's stomach growled then, making both laugh. "Let's eat before your stomach starts communicating with us again." William just nods, a thoughtful look on his face that I'm sure would cause problems later but right now I just wanted to live in the happy moment.
After reheating the food and settling at the kitchen island to eat, I went through and deleted all the DMs and comments. I barely registered what they said as I deleted. What I didn't know was Will was looking at the comments as I deleted before pulling out his own phone. It was only when my phone buzzed with another notification that I found out what he was doing. 
@williamnylander tagged you in a post
The post was two pictures side by side; the first was from our first date at a Christmas market, all bundled up and snuggled into each other as we took the photo in a mirror. The other picture was a selfie he took of us at my last doctor's appointment for the pregnancy, both of us were all smiles as I sat on the exam table with a picture of the sonogram on the screen behind us.
Two pictures of the love of my life. One from our first date, where I was a clutz and spilt hot chocolate all over her light grey coat and she still agreed to a second date. The other from a few weeks ago when we got another look at our baby. 
I can say without any doubt that having Ellie in my life has only made it better. She has become my sounding board for when I'm frustrated, my motivation to score more goals, and my ray of sunshine on any cloudy day. 
I knew from that first date that Ellie was the one for me, no one can tell me otherwise. And now she is carrying our first child. My heart continues to grow and fall in love with this amazing, kind, dedicated, caring, loving, and perfect woman each day.
I am so lucky to spend time with you each day and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and jealous of what we have.
Min skat, I am so excited to watch our family grow and experience the joys and challenges of parenthood with you. Ellie I love you and can't wait to see where we go next. 
Together.
The tears started flowing before I even read the caption, the pictures enough with my pregnancy hormones. But the words William managed to write push me over the edge, I was crying at the love he put into the words but also laughing at the not so subtle 'fuck you' to all the nasty people who sent you messages.
"Did I overstep? I don’t want to embarrass you."
"It's perfect. You're perfect. I love you."
"I love you too, and I plan on showing you that everyday. Even if it is something as simple as an Instagram post."
"It's not just the post, it's that you are saying to all the people who see your pictures and then come trash talk to me that you know about them. And that will probably stop some of them from doing it again. And anyone who doesn't get the message gets blocked."
"Good. Now, let go watch some TV and cuddle." Nodding grabbing my plate of food, following William to the couch before curling into his side.
As William pulled up the next episode of a show we were binging, I thought of something. "You never have told me what 'min skat' means."
"It means 'my treasure'. And it reminds me how lucky I am every day to have you in my life."
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eclecticwordblender · 4 years
Text
Since @askhindumyths had us constrain our inputs, here’s my take on the Mahabharata High school AU. Sorry I’m too late to the party.
No character is related to another unless stated otherwise.
This post is gonna be a series. If you go through all of it, I love you already xoxo.
First things first: I welcome you to the world of Hastin High, the finest school in the country.
Foundation:
Shantanu:
The founding father. He made the school what it is today.
After he divorced his first wife, Ganga, he had a new found flame in his eyes. Ganga took full custody of their son, Bheeshma.
Shantanu gets all geared up, he wants to be a business tycoon while also equally wanting to shape lives too.
The school becomes the best of it’s kind soon, education and ECAs accessible to all.
Satyavati:
The first headmistress.
Timeless beauty and an unmatched charmed.
Students crushing on her since day one.
Is the young-ish English teacher that can steal your heart with her sparkling smile.
The principal is her fan too.
Introduces new rules for the better but they somehow get messed up.
Senior year students always search for excuses to go talk to her and spend time with her, oblivious to her love affair with their principal.
Obviously so many hearts broke when their marriage was announced.
History:
Years down the lane both Shantanu and Satyavati decide to retire.
Satyavati demands her kid be the next owner.
Shantanu who wanted Bheeshma to take over eventually has to give in. Bheeshma says he’ll be the principal, let his step brother be the owner.
The owner dies of lung cancer real soon, a chainsmoker. AND BHEESHMA TAKES OVER.
Present day staff:
Bheeshma:
He’s old, like REALLY old.
The year he was born in is taught about in History.
Why does the bygone generation’s boomer have to be the principal!?
Everyone is so sick of his reluctance to embrace change.
Can be very biased and annoying, is intelligent, an absolute genius tbh, yet doesn’t seem to use his own braincells.
“WHY AM I BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!?”
Vidur:
The school counsellor.
He’s too wise for this place. Face palming, ALWAYS.
Perpetually sick of everything.
Will opt out if he smells danger.
Very approachable but also extremely diplomatic.
Is your friend, but is he, really?
“Everyone is so stupid!”
Dhritrashtra:
“I’m the owner of this place bow down y’all.”
Won’t listen to a single good advice.
Again, EXTREMELY BIASED, absolutely antagonist views as compared to Bheeshma.
Is so impossibly problematic and stubborn makes you wanna kick him out.
Nepotism level- OMG.
Extremely biased towards his son.
A rumour says that he once cancelled school for a week only because his son was sick during basketball matches. His son isn’t even that good tbh.
Kunti:
Teaches Geography.
Looks so cute you could fall in love with just the sight of her huge gorgeous eyes.
Seems to be a sweetheart, can be a total b*tch though.
Claims to be absolutely impartial but tends overly favour this one kid in class.
Is also EXTREMELY possessive and protective of him.
It is rumoured that she had quite a beef with a girl student once because she had a fiasco with her very dear student.
Some say that the school’s PTI never misses a chance to flirt with her.
“Who wants the opportunity to carry my stuff to my staff room table today xoxo?”
Gandhari:
Can’t seem to control the class.
Is too sweet. To a point where it’s faulty.
Doesn’t teach very well, however, gives the best moral lectures in the staff room.
Has suspiciously beautiful hair, TO EVERYONE’S ENVY.
Always ends up sending the wrong kids for the right causes to the principal’s office.
Shakuni:
The best maths teacher there could ever be.
Unbelievably high IQ.
Shares Vidur’s diplomatic skills, but better.
Extremely partial, doesn’t even try to hide it.
Can control kids nobody else in school can.
Has very amazing manipulation skills.
Has a v weird enimity with this one kid, Krishna. Everyone in school loves a Shakuni-Krishna verbal face off.
Enters class on the first day: “We are already way behind with the syllabus.”
Still manages to finish the course before anyone else!?
Dronacharya:
Soccer coach.
Nepotism skills, second only to Dhritrashtra’s.
Discriminates amongst his team A LOT.
Thinks too high of himself.
Has a MAJOR feud with the basketball coach.
“This kid has potential to do better than my fav, imma try to sabotage this guy’s entire career.”
Drupad:
Basketball coach.
Very arrogant lesser than Drona anyway.
Doesn’t like people.
Has a weird obsession with his basketball and whistle.
Extremely progressive mindset.
“I don’t like people. But I can tolerate you. Can’t think of a better compliment to give.”
Balram:
Is the youngest teacher in school. Joined recently.
Teenage heartthrob.
Tries to act all strict but is a total softie.
Already done with kids.
“Okay!! Which one of you bratty kids pulled this prank on me today!?”
Secretly enjoys being pranked by his students.
Is looked up to as an elder brother figure.
Kripacharya:
There isn’t much to say about him, THE MAN LITERALLY MINDS HIS OWN BUSINESS.
Won’t say a word until asked to.
Pandu:
Is only relevant because Bheeshma likes him.
We don’t even know why he’s there in school.
Obviously he takes his classes. That’s all he does in limelight though.
Dodges classes even more than the students who frequently bunk. Can be found in school’s garden. Aimlessly enjoying nature.
“I don’t feel like teaching today.”
Madri:
For validation purposes is the gossip queen (not in a bad way though).
Otherwise, Is just there.
Vyasa:
Doesn’t like limelight.
But honestly, does a lot of important work around the campus.
Is responsible for the school magazine. Marvellous writer, NO CAP.
No one knows him well enough. Yet he is the most respected person here.
Pashuram:
Cricket coach.
OG sportsman in the campus.
Even older than Bheeshma.
The man has been there since Shantanu!?!?
Practically built the school with Shantanu.
However, is absolutely irritated by how the institution functions now.
“I’ve had enough. Can I retire PLEASE!?”
Can’t get himself to quit his job though.
Shiva:
Just comes and goes.
Guest teacher.
Has a great influence over most people.
Literally just comes and goes.
Ambika:
Physics teacher.
Not very interested in the staff room gossip or gossip in general.
Cannot live without her bestf.
Ambalika:
Chemistry teacher
Ambika’s bestf.
Introvert. But can talk for HOURS to her her bestie.
Does the bare minimum.
Amba:
Hates stereotypes attached to teachers or students or anyone at all.
Too much rage in her.
Rumoured to have a thing for Bheeshma- the “Thing” remains ambiguously unknown.
Is a true feminist. For this reason, two of the students- Panchaali and Satyabhama, admire her way too much.
Sees herself in this student- Sikhandi/Sikhandini.
“If you wait for a man’s help, you will keep waiting forever” - how she begins EVERY class.
(Imma tag people in the fandom coz no one’s gonna read so much otherwise and I need attention to matter in life :/)
@bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @soniaoutloud @lemponkoira @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @chaanv @hoeticulture @supermeh-krishnafan
Since I’m being an attention wh*re: @incorrectmahabharatquotes
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iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years
Text
persona characters autism headcanons!
hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3
(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)
P5
Joker
there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren
he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it
he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions
mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...
tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played
maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol
his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”
overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!
mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice
puns (Gorou the Goroumet)
he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired
executive function who? we do everything last minute folks
high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches
his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out
probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die
cant sit properly to save his life
smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or
if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly
hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup
his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city
hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer
but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling
Futaba
paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)
echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT
those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey
only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless
only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her
shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard
Technology. thats it
def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh
has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous
“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations
video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her
probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections
probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose
wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is
the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj
also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...
hides in small spaces for comfort
doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?
Yusuke
art
his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate
talks seriously all the time
“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”
cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either
lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy
infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it
needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho
visual stims my friends
he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!
I am certainly in the mood
for something salty today.
he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact
Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing
morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it
P4
Souji/Yu
yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this
Schedule or Death
“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”
cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want
has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..
inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm
he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)
Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this
unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)
writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus
Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding
hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.
cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands
he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother
really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person
video games are too chaotic for him
exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)
hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older
Yukiko
her jokes
she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together
she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important
actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people
like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her
she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing
the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this
her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person
Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)
happy flappy lesbian! watch out!
Naoto
the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf
hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)
“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”
no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)
probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends
constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’
he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(
does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.
loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi
not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.
his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person
P3
Hamuko/Minako/Kotone
big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off
interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body
bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!
very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist
switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her
SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning
professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it
collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(
hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg
dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom
gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier
 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed
Minato/Makoto/Sakuya
no talkies, no walkies
his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for
doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away
he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses
cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out
everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music
rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)
likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave
will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette
sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy
when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation
eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest
his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak
aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold
never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings
will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same
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Text
The Magic of Las Vegas
Day 9 of 2020′s 31 Days of Ficmas.  Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!
Prompt: Snowflake
Rating: T for sexual situations; nothing explicit
Pairing: 11xRose AU
Summary: A snowstorm in the US Midwest delays eastbound flights just before Christmas, leaving rival children’s novelists stranded in Las Vegas for the night.  A single, shared drink leads to far more than the intended one-night stand.
2020 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist
AO3
---
Standing in the ladies restroom at McCarran International Airport, Rose blinked rapidly as she waited for the eyedrops to take effect.  She’d had a full day in Las Vegas, and not the kind that made for good telly.  The last stop on her book tour, she’d soon be on her way towards home and Christmas - provided her flight could stop getting delayed.  The tree was up, presents wrapped neatly beneath it, and if the loved one waiting anxiously by the door was her mother rather than a boyfriend… so be it.  If nothing else, Jackie made the eggnog strong.
Gathering her things she returned to the gate, hopes falling - it was even emptier than it had been five minutes before, and in fact, only one potential passenger remained, arguing with one of the attendants at the counter.  I must have missed an announcement.  Shit.  Hurrying up to the check-in desk herself, she gave the unoccupied woman her best, kindest smile.  “Hi, sorry, is there any update?”
“Cancelled.”  The woman, Madison according to her nametag, didn’t look up, typing away at her computer.  “The storm in the Midwest is just getting worse, so they’ve decided to try again tomorrow.”
She tried not to groan.  Fucking snow.  All she wanted was to sleep in her own bed.  “Ohkay…  Can I get a seat on that flight?  Or the next one to London, really.  I’m not picky.”
“Boarding pass.”
Rose handed it over, trying not to be irritated; the woman was just trying to do her job, and while her customer service could use some work, it was after one in the morning.  Everyone was exhausted.
“Oh!” Madison let out, scanning Rose’s boarding pass.  “I’m sorry Miss Tyler, let me find you the next available flight.”  Attitude doing a one-eighty, she gave Rose a smile.  “My niece is a huge fan of your books. I’m actually the one who introduced her to them.”
Rose merely gave a polite smile in reply; while such a sentiment usually warmed her heart, she’d heard some variation of it from nearly everyone she’d met over her fifteen-day book tour throughout the States.  Now, though, she just wanted to go home.  I should be halfway to New York by now.
“All set, same seat, leaves at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon with a layover in LA.”
“LA?”  Her brow furrowed, trying to picture a map of the country.  “Isn’t that the wrong direction?”
Madison nodded, already printing off the new boarding pass.  “Yeah, but it’s that with a one-hour layover or Miami, with an eight-hour layover and a plane change.  It’ll be fine, and actually does save you time.”
It only took another minute to finalize the transaction, and soon enough Rose was headed for the airport exit, lugging her carry-on with her and so, so glad she’d taken her mother’s advice to keep a set of clothes with her and not check it all.  She hadn’t liked the idea of keeping the small rolling suitcase with her when she checked in, wanting to be less bogged down, but now, she was glad to have resisted the urge.  Thanks, Mum.
Footsteps behind her caught her attention, and a moment later, the man who’d been talking to the agent next to her pulled astride.  “Terribly unlucky, aren’t we?” he lamented in a slightly posher version of her own accent. “Best case is home for Christmas Eve.”
“The storm should be over tomorrow, so it’ll be fine,” she replied politely, taking him in out of the corner of her eye.  Roughly her age, he nonetheless had the distinct look of a sixty-something maths professor, complete with tweed jacket and elbow patches.  But his eyes were kind, and he was attractive in that tall, lanky sort of way, with floppy brown hair and a bowtie.
“Hope so.  I promised my niece I’d be there.”  He seemed to deflate slightly, before rallying.  “Listen, this may be terribly forward of me, but- would you like to get a drink?  I realize it’s ‘Las Vegas’, but the idea of drinking alone at Christmas just seems… sad.”
They reached the escalator then, and Rose took the opportunity of the ride down to consider the idea.  And the likely outcome.  He was reasonably handsome, if in a dorky way, and certainly seemed kind enough.  She could use the release of an anonymous shag – if nothing else, it would probably make for a good story once home.
“Sure.  Why not?”
-
Beep. Beep.  Beep.
The bleating of the alarm startled Rose awake, her head feeling as though it had been split open, her mouth dry and fuzzy.  A lucky swat silenced the alarm, none too soon.  “Oh, fuck,” she moaned, sinking back into the mattress and squeezing her eyes shut against the brightness.  “Ow.”
A pitiful sound of agreement came from her right, reminding her of how she’d gotten into such a sorry state.  As she’d predicted, one drink had turned to two, then three, then…  Damn. I actually take the chance on a one-night stand, and don’t remember the actual sex?  Just my luck.
“Why is it making that noise,” her bedpartner mumbled, sheets rustling as he shuffled around; a moment later, the heavy weight of his head settled on the dip in her bare back.  “Wanna sleep.”
“Flight home.  Miss it, and won’t be home ‘til Christmas.”  She took another chance at opening her eyes, managing to keep them that way this time despite having to squint.  “Better get ready.”
He grunted in reply, instead pressing kisses to her lower back.  “I can think of much more enjoyable things we could be doing.”
Rose merely swatted him away, rolling out of bed and managing to land on her feet, if somewhat shaky.  I hope I remember his name soon.  This might get awkward.  “Lovely as that sounds, ‘m not missing Christmas for it.”  She stretched her arms overhead, pleased at the lingering ache in certain muscles as her body started to wake up.  She might not remember their escapades, but it appeared she’d more than enjoyed them.  “Shower.”
He didn’t try to join her, which she was equally happy and disappointed with; she needed some time to let the warm water bring her back to vaguely-human levels of processing ability, but a quickie sounded good too.
This sent her mind down a warm and steamy path, and by the time she’d toweled off and donned a dressing gown, she was very much interested in a morning shag, strolling out to the bedroom to tell John- his name had come to her in the shower, thankfully- about her change of opinion, only to find him standing naked at the desk, hands on his hips.
Taking a moment to let her eyes linger on his generous assets, she didn’t immediately recognize his tense posture. “Something wrong?”
He jumped, turning to face her, eyes going wide and one hand scrambling to cover his package.  “NO!”  His gaze darted down to the desktop, expression growing a bit more fearful. “Well…”
“What?”  Concerned now, Rose stepped up to his side, distracted at first by how good he smelled.  How’s that possible, after a night of sex and drinking and hours spent at the airport?  Then she looked down, and her heart stopped.  “Please tell me that marriage license doesn’t belong to us.”
“Uh…  I dunno about you, but, yeah… that’s me.”
Rose read it over again, unable to comprehend what her eyes were telling her.  Certificate of Marriage… 22nd of December… Rose Marion Tyler…  John Matthew Smith…  “I don’t believe it,” she said faintly, looking up at him. “This isn’t- I don’t do this sort of thing.”
“Neither do I!” John protested. “Erm, is that- are you- the Rose Tyler, of the Bad Wolf books?”
Hesitantly, she nodded.
“Ah.”  He shifted uncomfortably.  “I didn’t know.  It’s just- well- I’m…” He took a deep breath, anxiety clawing at Rose’s stomach as she waited.  “I’m J.M. Smith.  I write the ‘The Doctor’ series.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Oh, fuck me.”  Rose closed her eyes, groaning.  Of all the people in the world, I hook up with my closest competitor.  They’d spent the last three years dueling on the bestseller’s lists, fighting for first in children’s fiction.  It was infuriating, and now here they were, post-coital, and married.  This cannot be real.  “How?”  Then, realizing what she said, her eyes snapped open.  “Don’t answer that.”
He nodded.  “What… do you want to do?”
“You’re on the same flight I am, right?”
Another nod.
“Let’s just… get ready and go back to the airport.  I can’t even begin to think about dealing with this yet.”
-
Upon arrival at the airport Rose was able to slip away from him, pulling a beanie on and parking herself at the next gate over; close enough to hear the announcements, but hopefully harder to spot.  When he rolled up to the gate several minutes after her, obviously looking around, she just sank lower in her chair; thankfully he seemed to overlook her, choosing a seat that put his back to her, and she relaxed marginally.
Pulling out her mobile she connected to the airport wifi, a quick search confirming that marriages in Las Vegas were legal, and worse, were recognized by the British government.  Shit.  An annulment appeared to be reasonably possible, thankfully not requiring Nevada residency.
Right.  So.  Once we get home, file for annulment, and if we’re lucky, no one ever needs to know. Including Mum.
-
Still stowing her carryon bag under the seat in front of her, Rose paid no attention to the person who plopped into the seat beside her, resettling herself before turning to look at who it was – and sighing heavily.
“I’m starting to think you’re stalking me.”
John arched a paper-thin eyebrow in response.  “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me.”
“Oh, gee, what gave you that idea?” Huffing, she turned away from him, lifting the window shade to peer out the window.  There wasn’t much to see other than the plane at the next gate and blue skies, but she’d spend every second of the flight staring out if it meant avoiding her seatmate.  Husband.
Thankfully, he left her alone until take-off, but the reprieve was short-lived.  As she pulled out her laptop to keep working on the next draft of her story, John made a noise beside her.
“Don’t you think we should talk?”
“No.”  With more force than necessary, she pecked out her password one-handed, using the other to hide the keys.  “What’s to talk about?  We go home, we file for annulment, and with any luck, by New Year’s this will be a distant memory, and someday, perhaps even a funny story.  But today- today, this is nothing.”
Opening her manuscript, she glanced over to find him staring at her, and angled her body- and the screen- away from him. “Now you’re being creepy.”
“But aren’t you curious?”
“About what?”
“What happened?  And why?”
Rose looked at him blankly.  “We got drunk.  In Las Vegas.  And apparently have watched too many movies with that very premise.  End of story.”
“I don’t believe that,” John shook his head, fringe falling across his brow.  “What if there’s more?  What if it was fate bringing us together?”
“God, do you hear yourself? It was a terrible coincidence.  We’re competitors.  End of story.”  She glared at the screen.  “It was nothing, it meant nothing, and it will be nothing once we’re home and able to call a lawyer.  Now piss off, I have a deadline due.”  Shoving earbuds into her ears and cranking some music, she did what she could to drown him – and herself- out.
Focus on work. That’s all that matters right now.
-
The flight to LA was short, and given that she didn’t need to change planes, she didn’t have to move, though she was given the option to deplane.  Out of the corner of her eye she noticed John leave, which relaxed her somewhat; by the time passengers started boarding she’d put the earbuds away and was sitting back with her eyes closed.
A small voice chattering away caught her attention, particularly at the words “and that’s why I like the Bad Wolf books more!  Sorry.” Opening one eye to see, she found to her amusement the child, a girl around eleven, was talking to John, settling herself across the aisle from him as he reclaimed his seat.
Her eyes snapped shut, and she kept her breathing deep and even, curious as to his response.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Rose squinted, and was positioned in such a way she could see the girl nod.
“I like the Bad Wolf books too.”
“You do?”  For being a pre-teen, the girl had skepticism down pat, and Rose had to hold in giggles.
“Oh, very much so,” John said seriously. “There are lots of books out there like mine for boys- though I try to write so anyone would enjoy- but the Bad Wolf books are special.  I think it’s so cool to see a character like that – when I was your age, pretty much all the books of the genre were about boys.  But the Bad Wolf books… anyone can connect with Thorn, and see themselves in her- she’s so real.  She’s not perfect, and she doesn’t always get it right, but who does?  In Book 3- did you read Book 3?  Good, I don’t want to spoil it- but at the end… I had almost the same thing happen to me, only it was both of my parents, and Thorn reacted exactly as I did.  And above all – never apologize for liking something more than something else.  Your opinion is exactly that – so as long as you’re not trying to hurt someone, then don’t be ashamed of what you like. Okay?”
The girl nodded, staring at John in fascination.  “You really like the books then, huh?”
“I really do.”
“What’s your favorite part?”
John inhaled through his teeth. “Ooh, that’s a difficult one.  I think- the one scene I keep coming back to is when Thorn realizes she’s grown apart from her childhood friends.  It’s really sad, yeah?  But that’s life- nearly everyone experiences that at some point, everyone drifts away from people they loved.  I’ve never read of another series or character that makes that moment so visceral.  But what about you?  What’s your favorite part?”
Turning over so her back was to them, Rose half-listened to the conversation as her mind raced.  The scene he’d referenced was fairly small, and by its nature, would only be known by someone who had read the book.
Does John Smith read my books?
-
Once they were underway and the conversation between her seatmate and the girl had long since stopped, Rose started moving around as if just waking up, complete with yawning and stretching.
“Hi.”
“Oh!”  His yelp drew her gaze; he’d been reading, the book snapping shut and quickly tucked out of view, but not before she recognized her own artwork for her most recent release; in fact, the very book she’d been crossing the country to promote.  “Hello.”
“Hi,” she repeated, sitting up and looking at him curiously.  “Were you reading my book?”
His cheeks flushed, and after a moment, he returned the book to the tray table; based on the bookmark, he’d started it before they’d met, as he hadn’t done much (or any) reading since.  “Erm, yeah.”  He gave her a sheepish smile.  “You’re a fantastic writer.”
“Thank you.”  She’d had time to think, about what he’d said about her books, how willing he’d been to discuss them- and not his own- with the young girl who appeared to be flying solo.  It had softened her approach towards him- somewhat.  “I think there’s a chance we got off on the wrong foot.”
“I agree.”
When he just stared at her, she knew she’d have to make the first move.  I was kind of a bitch to him, wasn’t I?  “Hi, I’m Rose.”
“John.”
They shook hands, Rose’s skin tingling where they touched.
“So, tell me about yourself.”
He arched a skeptical eyebrow.  “I thought you didn’t care, that we’ll just pretend none of this happened.  Harder to do knowing things about the other.”
Rose bit her lip, eyes darting down to her lap.  “Like Thorn, my dad died, only when I was a baby.  Mum always said to hold on to precious moments.  And… I don’t trust easy, so clearly, something about you made me give you the benefit of the doubt.” Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze again.  “You’ve got until we land in London to convince me to- to extend that faith.  If you want to.  We’ll see from there.  What do you say?”
Green eyes searched hers, and she kept her expression soft, nervous despite her words.  They would both be interviewing the other for position of spouse, and suddenly, it was one she wanted to pass with flying colors.
“All right,” he agreed slowly. “Let’s see what happens.”
-
The next book in each series was a cross-over, where secret agent Thorn, codenamed Bad Wolf, is rescued by an unlikely hero, The Doctor, and his strange-looking timeship, and it is only through a combination of their unique skillsets they’re able to save the day. With cover-art by Rose Tyler and a foreword from John Smith, the book was an overachieving best-seller, outdoing the previous books in each series and earning an armful of awards.
The picture on the back featured the authors with their arms around each other, he in a suit, and she in a white dress.
Both bios, at the end of the book, ended with the same phrase.
And they lived happily ever after.
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arcticdementor · 3 years
Link
Media Twitter does not hate Substack because it’s pretending to be a platform when it’s a publisher; they don’t hate it because it’s filled with anti-woke white guys; they don’t hate it because of harassment or any such thing. I don’t think they really hate it at all. Substack is a small and ultimately not-very-relevant outpost in a vastly larger industry; they may not like it but it’s not important enough for them to hate it. What do they hate? They hate where their industry is and they hate where they are within their industry. But that’s a big problem that they don’t feel like they can solve. If you feel you can’t get mad at the industry that’s impoverishing you, it’s much easier to get mad at the people who you feel are unjustly succeeding in that industry. Trying to cancel Glenn Greenwald (again) because he criticizes the media harshly? Trying to tarnish Substack’s reputation so that cool, paid-up writer types leave it and the bad types like me get kicked off? That they can maybe do. Confronting their industry’s future with open eyes? Too scary, especially for people who were raised to see success as their birthright and have suddenly found that their degrees and their witheringly dry one-liners do not help them when the rent comes due.
Life in the “content” industry already sucks. A small handful of people make bank while the vast majority hustle relentlessly just to hold on to the meager pay they already receive. There are staff writers at big-name publications who produce thousands of words every week and who make less than $40,000 a year for their trouble. There are permanent employees of highly prestigious newspapers and magazines who don’t receive health insurance. Venues close all the time. Mourning another huge round of layoffs is a regular bonding experience for people in the industry. Writers have to constantly job hop just to try and grind out an extra $1,500 a year, making their whole lives permanent job interviews where they can’t risk offending their potential bosses and peers. Many of them dream of selling that book to save themselves financially, not seeming to understand that book advances have fallen 40% in 10 years - median figure now $6,080 - and that the odds of actually making back even that meager advance are slim, meaning most authors are making less than minimum wage from their books when you do the math. They have to tweet constantly for the good of their careers, or so they believe, which amounts to hundreds of hours of unpaid work a year. Their publications increasingly strong arm them into churning out pathetic pop-culture ephemera like listicles about the outfits on Wandavision. They live in fear of being the one to lose out when the next layoffs come and the game of media musical chairs spins up once again. They have to pretend to like ghouls like Ezra Klein and Jonah Peretti and make believe that there’s such a thing as “the Daily Beast reputation for excellence.”
I have always felt bad for them, despite our differences, because of these conditions. And they have a right to be angry. But they don’t have much in the way of self-awareness about where their anger really lies. A newsletter company hosting Bari Weiss is why you can’t pay your student loans? You sure?
They’ll tell you about the terrible conditions in their industry themselves, when they’re feeling honest. So what are they really mad about? That I’m making a really-just-decent guaranteed wage for just one year? Or that this decent wage is the kind of money many of them dream of making despite the fact that, in their minds, they’ve done everything right and played by all the rules? Is their anger really about a half-dozen guys whose writing you have to actively seek out to see? (If you click the button and put in your email address, you’ll get these newsletters. If you don’t, you won’t. So if you’re a media type who hates my writing, consider just… not clicking that button.) Or do they need someplace to put the rage and resentment that grows inside them as they realize, no, it’s not getting better, this is all I get?
It’s true that I have, in a very limited way, achieved the new American dream: getting a little bit of VC cash. I’m sorry. But it’s much much less than one half of what Felix Salmon was making in 2017 and again, it’s only for one year.
You think the writers complaining in that piece I linked to at the top wanted to be here, at this place in their career, after all those years of hustling? You think decades into their media career, the writers who decamped to Substack said to themselves “you know, I’d really like to be in my 40s and having to hope that enough people will pitch in $5 a month so I can pay my mortgage”? No. But the industry didn’t give them what they felt they deserved either. So they displace and project. They can hate Jesse Singal, but Jesse Singal isn’t where this burning anger is coming from. Neither am I. They’re so angry because they bought into a notoriously savage industry at the nadir of its labor conditions and were surprised to find that they’re drifting into middle age without anything resembling financial security. I feel for them as I feel for all people living economically precarious lives, but getting rid of Substack or any of its writers will not do anything to fix their industry or their jobs. They wanted more and they got less and it hurts. This isn’t what they dreamed. That’s what this is really about.
My own deal here is not mysterious. It’s just based on a fact that the blue checks on Twitter have never wanted to accept. I got offered money to write here for the same reason I got offered to write for The New York Times and Harper’s and The Washington Post and The LA Times, the same reason I’ve gotten a half-dozen invitations to pitch since I started here a few weeks ago, the same reason a literary agent sought me out and asked me to write a book, the same reason I sold that book for a decent advance: because I pull traffic. Though I am a social outcast from professional opinion writing, I have a better freelance publishing history than many, many of my critics who are paid-up, obedient members of the media social scene. Why? Because the editors who hired me thought I was a great guy? No. Because I pull traffic. I always have. That’s why you’re reading this on Substack right now.
A really important lesson to learn, in life, is this: your enemies are more honest about you than your friends ever will be. I’ve been telling the blue checks for over a decade that their industry was existentially fucked, that the all-advertising model was broken, that Google and Facebook would inevitably hoover up all the profit, that there are too many affluent kids fresh out of college just looking for a foothold in New York who’ll work for next to nothing and in doing so driving down the wages of everyone else, that their mockery of early subscription programs like Times Select was creating a disastrous industry expectation that asking your readers directly for money was embarrassing. Trump is gone and the news business is cratering. Michael Tracey didn’t make that happen. None of this anger will heal what’s wrong. If you get all of the people you don’t like fired from Substack tomorrow, what will change? How will your life improve? Greenwald will spend more time with his hottie husband and his beloved kids and his 6,000 dogs in his beautiful home in Rio. Glenn will be fine. How do we do the real work of getting you job security and a decent wage?
But how do things get better in that way? Only through real self-criticism (which Twitter makes impossible) and by asking hard questions. Questions like one that has not been credibly confronted a single time in this entire media meltdown: why are so many people subscribing to Substacks? What is the traditional media not providing that they’re seeking elsewhere? Why have half a million people signed up as paying subscribers of various Substack newsletters, if the establishment media is providing the diversity of viewpoints that is an absolute market requirement in a country with a vast diversity of opinions? You can try to make an adult determination about that question, to better understand what media is missing, or you can read this and write some shitty joke tweet while your industry burns to the ground around you. It’s your call.
Substack might fold tomorrow, but someone would else sell independent media; there’s a market. Substack might kick me and the rest of the unclean off of their platforms tomorrow, but other critics of social justice politics would pop up here; there’s a market. Establishment media’s takeover by this strange brand of academic identity politics might grow even more powerful, if that’s even possible, but dissenters will find a place to sell alternative opinion; there’s a market. What there might not be much of a market for anymore is, well, you - college educated, urban, upwardly striving if not economically improving, woke, ironic, and selling that wokeness and that irony as your only product. Because you flooded the market. Everyone in your entire industry is selling the exact same thing, tired sarcastic jokes and bleating righteousness about injustices they don’t suffer under themselves, and it’s not good in basic economic terms if you’re selling the same thing as everyone else. You add that on to structural problems within your business model and your utter subservience to a Silicon Valley that increasingly hates you, well…. I get why you’re mad. And I get that you don’t like me. But I’m not what you’re mad about. Not really.
In the span of a decade or so, essentially all professional media not explicitly branded as conservative has been taken over by a school of politics that emerged from humanities departments at elite universities and began colonizing the college educated through social media. Those politics are obscure, they are confusing, they are socially and culturally extreme, they are expressed in a bizarre vocabulary, they are deeply alienating to many, and they are very unpopular by any definition. The vast majority of the country is not woke, including the vast majority of women and people of color. How could it possibly be healthy for the entire media industry to be captured by any single niche political movement, let alone one that nobody likes? Why does no one in media seem willing to have an honest, uncomfortable conversation about the near-total takeover of their industry by a fringe ideology?
And the bizarre assumption of almost everyone in media seems to have been that they could adopt this brand of extreme niche politics, in mass, as an industry, and treat those politics as a crusade that trumps every other journalistic value, with no professional or economic consequences. They seem to have thought that Americans were just going to swallow it; they seem to have thought they could paint most of the country as vicious bigots and that their audiences would just come along for the ride. They haven’t. In fact Republicans are making great hay of the collapse of the media into pure unapologetic advocacy journalism. Some people are turning to alternative media to find options that are neither reactionary ideologues or self-righteous woke yelling. Can you blame them? Substack didn’t create this dynamic, and neither did I. The exact same media people who are so angry about Substack did, when they abandoned any pretense to serving the entire country and decided that their only job was to advance a political cause that most ordinary people, of any gender or race, find alienating and wrong. So maybe try and look at where your problems actually come from. They’re not going away.
Now steel yourselves, media people, take a shot of something strong, look yourself in the eye in the mirror, summon you most honest self, and tell me: am I wrong?
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onecornerface · 4 years
Text
I like Dream, and I hope he didn't cheat, but the math looks bad for him. I have not seen a single compelling argument in defense of the claim that he didn't cheat, and the people who seem to know math say he did. I am just learning this today, and I'm extremely disappointed about it. I have a mediocre grasp of the evidence, but here's my attempt to sort through its implications. The sections of this post will be (1) refuting some weak defenses, (2) describing four main possibilities, then (3) explaining the most plausible version of the cheating theory.
--
Some of Dream's defenders are making weak arguments such as the following:
Defense A: "This is just trying to tear him down for petty reasons (e.g. anti-celebrity bias, jealousy of his success, cancel culture, and clout-chasing)."
Response to A: There are *good reasons* to be concerned if Dream is indeed cheating, such as preserving the integrity of the speedrun leaderboards. But even granted that it's true that some people have bad motivations for criticizing Dream, this is irrelevant to the truth or falsity of the allegations.
Defense B: "Dream has too much integrity, and is too competitive, to settle for cheating."
Response to B: This assumes too much confidence in what we know about Dream's character. We generally don't know the character of any celebrity, let alone a celebrity whose real identity is not even public. We know Dream's (carefully crafted) online persona. We don't know much about Dream's character. Moreover, see "Response to C" below.
Defense C: "Dream has been so successful and well-liked, and it has been proved he is extremely good at Minecraft. He would not risk his reputation by cheating."
Response to C: This defense is simply ignorant of the history of speedrunning and cheating. *Many* celebrity speedrunners, including talented and skilled speedrunners with excellent reputations *have* been caught cheating. This is even true of speedrunners who *also* have legitimate runs in addition to having illegitimate runs.
Defense D: "Dream wouldn't cheat on stream. It would be too easy to catch him."
Response to D: The most plausible method of cheating would be easy to pull off on stream. See further down.
Defense E: "Dream's alleged cheating is not highly convenient for him-- he did not get the world record using his alleged cheating method, and he often got drops (pearls or otherwise) that were not helpful to him." (This seems to be the gist of the defense; I'm not entirely sure of the exact details.)
Response to E: The most plausible method of cheating, again, explains why this would happen. See further down.
Defense F: "Dream *could* have gotten the 1 in 41 billion chance of getting the ender pearl drops naturally."
Response to F: This kind of thinking would imply that we can never confidently make any empirical claims on any subject ever. It's a radical form of skepticism that nobody takes seriously in any context *except* when it's convenient for defending an improbable claim they want to believe--which is an epistemic double standard. Compare: "How can you say the earth is round? Sure, there's only a 1 in 41 billion chance that NASA is lying and all the science is wrong, but it's *possible* that NASA is lying and all the science is wrong!" Yes, it's possible, but this doesn't matter. We're talking about probability, not possibility.
Defense G: "It's inappropriate to accuse Dream of cheating until it is proven."
Response to G: I agree some people are too quick to make or believe allegations against others, and we should avoid a mob mentality. However, as a speedrunner on the leaderboards, and as a public figure who deliberately cultivated his status as a celebrity, Dream should accept that his speedrun record will be open to scrutiny and criticism. Moreover, Dream himself has exposed at least one fake speedrunner as fake, opening that person up to public criticism. So I think Dream would not have standing to complain when he is treated the same way.
Defense H: "Many speedruns have gotten incredibly good luck. In light of this, Dream's luck is not implausible."
Response to H: Yes, many *individual* speedruns have gotten incredibly good luck. However, these individual speedruns are generally outliers in the midst of a long stream of ordinary runs, often myriads of ordinary runs. Such outliers are to be expected. However, Dream's luck is a matter of the distribution of ender pearl drops across a *bunch* of runs. And this is far less plausible. I'm not aware of anyone who gets such good luck across many runs. The "luck" theory seems to imply that Dream is pretty much the luckiest speedrunner in history (unless it can be shown that some other non-cheating speedrunner is similarly lucky across many runs), and this is not plausible.
--
The main possibilities seem to be these:
Theory A: Dream cheated.
Theory B: Sheer luck *given* the *correct* math of the allegations (i.e. around 1 in 41 billion).
Theory C: Sheer luck *given* an *error* in the math of the allegations (so that the necessary luck is not nearly so steep as 1 in 41 billion).
Theory D: A glitch or other kind of wonkiness in the RNG.
--
Let's start with Theory B, the "sheer luck" theory.
*If* the math of the allegations is correct and has been applied to the proper relevant samples (so as to produce a valid binomial distribution and suchlike), then there is a 1 in 41 billion chance that Dream would get the pearl drops naturally. Now, this does not quite mean there is a 1 in 41 billion chance that he didn't cheat, since we'd *also* need to factor in other relevant probabilities, such as the prior probability of a speedrunner in Dream's reference class cheating. Some additional work would be needed in order to get a valid Bayesian posterior probability (or something along these lines). I'm not sure how to do the Bayesian (or other) calculation properly. But in any case, the "sheer luck" explanation still surely has far less than a 1% chance of being correct.
Theory C, the "wrong math" theory.
I simply do not know the math very well. So, for all *I* know, the allegations may be based on faulty math, an inadequate sample size, or suchlike. Dream briefly accused the math of being based on too small a sample, but then deleted his own comment. *If* the math is wrong, then Dream may have obtained his ender pearl drop rate by sheer luck, where such luck would not be so implausible as it appears. It may still be implausibly lucky, OR plausibly lucky, depending on how far off the math is. However, from the comments I've read on YouTube and Reddit, it seems everyone who understands the math is saying the math is correct, or very nearly correct. The only people who are saying the math is seriously wrong seem to misunderstand the math, and in such a blatant manner that even I can recognize it as such. So, deferring to the testimony of people who seem to understand the math, I conclude the math is probably correct or very nearly correct. But the math *could* be seriously wrong *if* I've failed to gauge these people's understanding of it properly.
Theory D, the "glitch" theory.
The problem with this theory is that the comparison between Dream and other speedrunners (at least Benex, and probably others) suggests Dream has consistently better ender pearl drop rates than other speedrunners. So, if there's a bug or cause for wonkiness in the RNG, then either (D1) it's also happening to other speedrunners, and the accusers have failed to realize this, or (D2) this is only applying to Dream. D1 is a similar theory to C, where the error stems from other people's mistaken analysis that I'm not currently in a position to evaluate. BUT, if such a thing were true, I'd expect someone would have pointed it out by now, which seemingly hasn't happened. So, I doubt speedrunners in general are seeing significantly higher-than-5% drop rates. Meanwhile, D2 would seem to imply that Dream has unintentionally been doing RNG manipulation over a period of multiple runs. As far as I know, nobody has found such a method of RNG manipulation (intentional or otherwise) for ender pearl drops from piglin trades. If such a method *is* found, it will be somewhat good for Dream--though I suspect his run would still be thrown out of the "glitchless" category and into some "with glitches" category (and that's assuming Dream didn't do it on purpose, which would also be hard to believe).
So, we're back to Theory A, i.e. that Dream cheated.
--
The best cheating theory may be that Dream used a datapack or mod to alter the ender pearl drop rate (via piglin trades) from approximately 5% to 15%. This method would have the following advantages:
1. It explains why he'd be willing to use it on stream. It would be much harder to detect than splicing a video or using a set seed. (I'm not sure whether or not there's a way an expert could detect it at all, even with the world file?)
2. It explains why some of his pearl drops are not useful. He's not doing RNG manipulation for particular trades. Rather, he edited the likelihoods of pearl drops in advance. So he does not know whether he's getting a pearl drop or not, on any particular trade.
3. It allows him to reduce the severity of (apparently) his least favorite aspect of 1.16 speedrunning-- the heavy reliance on RNG.
4. This method of cheating may be easier to justify to oneself than other methods. On this method, it may be easy to tell oneself that one is getting drops that one "could" have gotten naturally, thus being a less severe breach than the methods of splicing or set seeds.
5. It makes sense that he wouldn't think he'd get caught doing this, if he failed to realize how the math works out over time to make it conspicuous. Any given run, or perhaps any given small set of runs, remains inconspicuous. If he underestimated the severity of the mathematical improbability, this would also make it easier to justify to himself.
6. We know Dream is very good at making datapacks and mods.
--
In short, given the evidence as I understand it, albeit given the limits on my understanding of the evidence and my heavy reliance on secondhand analysis, I conclude there is a good chance Dream cheated by using a datapack or mod to increase the ender pearl drop rate for piglin trades. However, there is a lot of math I don't understand, and I have not read much of the discourse among the speedrunning expert community (much of which is apparently on some speedrun discord that I haven't viewed). I expect further investigation by speedrunning experts will uncover more information and do more analysis, and I hope the matter can be resolved in an epistemically and ethically strong manner.
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