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#she cannot be named on this site
unokonei · 4 months
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biblically accurate tommy and a guest :)
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wanderrghost · 9 months
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The post I made with the texts from my mom got picked up by a Big Blog and is now skyrocketing in notes
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comradecowplant · 2 years
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Not to be too controversial on tumblr dot com but Neil Gaiman....... is only an okay writer. and there are better/more interesting writers who deserve the success train he's been on the last handful of years with getting major works adapted. there, I finally said it, I finally spoke my truth!
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clarenecessities · 6 months
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He-man.org will close in 5 days.
He-man.org has been a staple of the Masters of the Universe community since the early days, originating as an email list that worked to document episodes before anything (not footage, not lists, nothing) was available online. It grew into a sprawling, multi-faceted beast of a thing, including an encyclopedia (an in-house wiki), merch lists, a marketplace, forums, anything you could think of.
Several years ago now, the main site went down for updates/maintenance. For a few weeks, we were told, maybe months. The forums remained open for fans to communicate, and barring a period of downtime earlier this year things were going smoothly.
Yesterday, the owner of the site, Val Staples, announced the site would be closed on November 14th, 2023. Six days later. We are currently attempting to contact him, to see if he’s interested in selling, and if he means closed as in “no new posts” or closed as in deleted entirely. Regardless of its eventual fate, the archiving of these forums is essential to preserving the history of the franchise, the fandom, and the brand.
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TO SHE-RA (and MotU) FANS SPECIFICALLY: I have personally used these forums to answer questions that could be answered nowhere else. Had I not had access to them, I would never have been able to prove that Purrsia was fake, or found so much unpublished concept art, or discovered that Scott “Toyguru” Neitlich personally wrote Catra’s MOTUC bio (even if he’s put off answering my questions about it for over a year now). Forum members have conducted interviews with the likes of Jon Seisa, Cathy Larson, Janice Varney-Hamlin—essential figures in the very foundations of POP, and those interviews revealed and recorded priceless information for future generations (me! you! us!) to find. Did you know Cathy Larson named Adora? That she originally pushed for “Dorian”, after her own daughter? We cannot let this treasure trove disappear into the ether(ia).
TO THE UNAFFILIATED: Please help. Pretty please. If you’ve ever liked my art or my writing or my haphazard blogging, ever, at all, consider archiving just one board. Just one page. Literally anything helps. I am spiraling into madness & this is my library of Alexandria. The mythical one that was totally unique and persevered nowhere else and was destroyed in a single cataclysmic event. Pretty pretty please help.
HOW TO HELP:
Archive.org has several ways to upload shit but most of them are longer term than “a few days” so we’re focusing on two (which can be run simultaneously): Save Page Now, and browser extensions. From their help page:
1. Save Page Now
Put a URL into the form, press the button, and we save the page. You will instantly have a permanent URL for your page. Please note, this method only saves a single page, not the whole site.
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We want to keep outlinks and screenshots wherever possible. The Archive does not keep your IP address, so your submission is anonymous.
2. Browser extensions and add-ons
Install the Wayback Machine Chrome extension in your browser. Go to a page you want to archive, click the icon in your toolbar, and select Save Page Now. We will save the page and give you a permanent URL.
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One plus to installing the extension is that as you surf around, when you run into a missing page they will alert you if we have a saved copy.
More extensions, apps, and add-ons:
Firefox add-on
Safari Extension
iOS app
Android app
I strongly encourage you to use these tools even if you aren’t helping with this project/after it ends. Documenting and preserving information is essential in this day and age & The Internet Archive is at the heart of it. Please support them however you can.
I’m serious about paying you, though I may need more communication with folks I don’t know so we can coordinate/verify shit gets done. I think this is a worthwhile pursuit in itself but I recognize your time is valuable & like, people gotta eat. DM me if you’re interested and we’ll talk. I may need to adjust pay depending how many people bite but I’ll do what I can
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end-otw-racism · 1 year
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On needing a comprehensive harassment policy
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We've been getting some confusion about the part of our demands that talks about OTW needing to consider "off-site coordinated harassment of AO3 users" - which is fair, because I realize that could sound like "OTW needs to monitor/regulate what happens on other platforms" - but that's NOT what we meant by it.
What we meant is: if AO3 users are getting harassed on AO3, and they provide proof in their abuse claim of off-site harassment, that off-site harassment should also be considered as context for making a decision in the abuse claim.
An example of this - which we have permission to share - is what happened to an abuse claim filed by Dr. Rukmini Pande. We won't be linking directly to what happened because we are not trying to target individual users here, but all of what happened is still in public record.
Dr. Pande, a scholar of fan studies who wrote the seminal text on race and fandom, talked on her twitter account a few years ago about a Nazi fic on AO3 that was not only incredibly harmful, offensive, and antisemitic, but where the author had been sending their friends to harass people who criticized the fic. The author proceeded to add a tag to the fic that said "Rukmini Pande Lied About This Fic".
Because Dr. Pande tweeted her criticism from the account with her full name, people said this wasn't doxxing - which is true. But the author of the fic also was tweeting publicly to entertain the idea of reporting Dr. Pande to her employer, and they were also once again sending friends to harass her on Twitter.
When AO3 considered this abuse claim, Dr. Pande provided proof of what was happening on Twitter to show that the author of the fic added the tag of her full name with the intention of inciting harassment to her. But the AO3 Abuse team said that this did not constitute harassment under their TOS.
Cases like that are what we mean by OTW considering "off-site coordinated harassment of AO3 users". Obviously OTW cannot control what is happening on Twitter, or Tumblr, or any other platform. But their Abuse team should be able to consider off-site harassment, when they are given proof of it, in determining whether a case on AO3 is harassment or not.
(Also if you aren't familiar with Dr. Pande's work, her book Squee From The Margins: Fandom and Race is not only fantastic but was the first to comprehensively look at fandom racism, and she also edited a great anthology of articles on race and fandom called Fandom, Now In Color: A Collection of Voices. If you can't afford to buy them, you can request that your local library stock them!)
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hussyknee · 9 months
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Abu al-Faraj al-Isfahani’s Kitab al-Aghani records the lives of a number of individuals including one named Tuways who lived during the last years of Muhammad and the reigns of the early Muslim dynasties. Tuways was mukhannathun: those who were born as men, but who presented as female. They are described by al-Isfahani as wearing bangles, decorating their hands with henna, and wearing feminine clothing. One mukhannathun, Hit, was even in the household of the Prophet Muhammad. Tuways earned a reputation as a musician, performing for clients and even for Muslim rulers. When Yahya ibn al-Hakam was appointed as governor, Tuways joined in the celebration wearing ostentatious garb and cosmetics. When asked by the governor if he were Muslim Tuways affirmed his belief, proclaiming the declaration of faith and saying that he observes the fast of Ramadan and the five daily prayers. In other words, al-Isfahani, who recorded the life of a number of mukhannathun like Tuways, saw no contradiction between his gender expression and his Muslimness. From al-Isfahani we read of al-Dalal, ibn Surayj, and al-Gharid—all mukhannathun—who lived rich lives in early Muslim societies. Notably absent from al-Isfahani’s records is any state-sanctioned persecution. Instead, the mukhannathun are an accepted part of society.
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Far from isolated cases, across Islamic history—from North Africa to South Asia—we see widespread acceptance of gender nonconforming and queer individuals. - Later in the Ottoman Empire, there were the köçek who were men who wore women’s clothing and performed at festivals. Formally trained in dance and percussion instruments, the köçek were an important part of social functions. A similar practice was found in Egypt. The khawal were male dancers who presented as female, wearing dresses, make up, and henna. Like their Ottoman counterparts, they performed at social events.
- In South Asia, the hijra were and are third-sex individuals. The term is used for intersex people as well as transgender women. Hijra are attested to among the earliest Muslim societies of South Asia where, according to Nalini Iyer, they were often guardians of the household and even held office as advisors.
- In Iraq, the mustarjil are born female, but present as men. In Wilfred Thesiger’s The Marsh Arabs the guide, Amara explains, “A mustarjil is born a woman. She cannot help that; but she has the heart of a man, so she lives like a man.” When asked if the mustarjil are accepted, Amara replies “Certainly. We eat with her and she may sit in the mudhif.” Amara goes on to describe how mustarjil have sex with women.
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Historian Indira Gesink analyzed 41 medical and juristic sources between the 8th and 18th centuries and discovered that the discourse of a “binary sex” was an anachronistic projection backwards. Gesink points out in one of the earliest lexicography by the 8th century al-Khalil ibn Ahmad that he suggests addressing a male-presenting intersex person as ya khunathu and a female-presenting intersex person as ya khanathi while addressing an effeminate man as ya khunathatu. This suggests a clear recognition of a spectrum of sex and gender expression and a desire to address someone respectfully based on how they presented.
Tolerance of gender ambiguity and non-conformity in Islamic cultures went hand-in-hand with broader acceptance of homoeroticism. Texts like Ali ibn Nasir al-Katib’s Jawami al-Ladhdha, Abu al-Faraj al-Isfahani’s Kitab al-Aghani, and the Tunisian, Ahmad al-Tifashi’s Nuz’ha al-‘Albab attest to the widespread acceptance of same-sex desire as natural. Homoeroticism is a common element in much of Persian and Arabic poetry where youthful males are often the object of desire. From Abu Nuwas to Rumi, from ibn Ammar to Amir Khusraw, some of the Islamic world’s greatest poets were composing verses for their male lovers. Queer love was openly vaunted by poets. One, Ibn Nasr, immortalizes the love between two Arab lesbians Hind al Nu’man and al-Zarqa by writing:
“Oh Hind, you are truer to your word than men. Oh, the differences between your loyalty and theirs.”
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Acceptance of same-sex desire and gender non-conformity was the hallmark of Islamic societies to such a degree that European travelers consistently remarked derisively on it. In the 19th century, Edward Lane wrote of the khawal: “They are Muslims and natives of Egypt. As they personate women, their dances are exactly of the same description as those of the ghawazee; and are, in like manner, accompanied by the sound of castanets.”
A similarly scandalized CS Sonnini writes of Muslim homoerotic culture:
“The inconceivable appetite which dishonored the Greeks and the Persians of antiquity, constitute the delight, or to use a juster term, the infamy of the Egyptians. It is not for women that their ditties are composed: it is not on them that tender caresses are lavished; far different objects inflame them.”
In his travels in the 19th century, James Silk Buckingham encounters an Afghan dervish shedding tears for parting with his male lover. The dervish, Ismael, is astonished to find how rare same-sex love was in Europe. Buckingham reports the deep love between Ismael and his lover quoting, “though they were still two bodies, they became one soul.”
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Today, vocal Muslim critics of LGBTQ+ rights often accuse gay and queer people of imposing a “Western” concept or forcing Islam to adjust to “Western values” failing to grasp the irony of the claim: the shift in the 19th and 20th century was precisely an alignment with colonial values over older Islamic ones, all of which led to legal criminalization. In fact, the common feature among nations with anti-LGBTQ+ legislation isn’t Islam, but rather colonial law.
Don't talk to me I'm weeping. I'm not Muslim, but the grief of colonization runs in the blood of every Global South person. Dicovering these is like finding our lost treasures among plundered ruins.
Queer folk have always, always been here; we have always been inextricable, shining golden threads in the tapestry of human history. To erase and condemn us is to continue using the scalpel of colonizers in the mutilation and betrayal of our own heritage.
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 8 months
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Hello my fellow ghost, I have this idea that came to my mind while reading some crack sites, imagine a Creator! Reader irritated, did not sleep well, a lot of work any excuse and goes for a walk to clear his mind, then simply sticks on the little finger with some object.
He shouts: FOR THE NAME OF!!, I AM STAR TO SERIUSLY CONSIDERING ERASE (nation in which it is) OF THE MAP.
Along with another irrelevant insult, then how would they react if some acolyte is near or even better the archons of a certain nation. I don't know, I laughed for myself thinking about this and I do not know if you will also find it funny.
In any case if you do not feel free to ignore or if you want some idea to write the priv is available. Bird says goodbye
Hello, @pajarokujo ! Though I do not see the humor, I can get what you're going for! (Is this how Tighnari and Collei feel when Cyno cracks a joke?— /lh)
I'll just do the Archons for this since I think they'd have the best reactions LOL
Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Tantrum
You were a little furious. You hadn't mean what you said, but in the attempt to calm yourself down, you jabbed at one part of the map and screamed, "THIS NATION. I WANT IT DECIMATED. PERMANENTLY." forgetting completely that you were the Creator and your booming voice could be practically heard by everyone.
Yes...they're panicking.
(Warning: Might Be OOC & Written Before 4.1 Special Program!)
Venti
Wisp boy is now panicked wisp boy. He ain't gonna stop trying to find a solution to save Mondstadt from your wrath until he drops dead. Quite literally.
Man, this bard is going crazy—all of his ballads have a slight air of panic to it, since everyone practically heard your threat from beyond the heavens.
So when you practically run into Mondstadt to personally reassure everyone that you aren't going to decimate the nation, Venti immediately sees your presence as his doom. He tries to keep it cool, and it sort of works? (It doesn't)
"AHAHA, YOUR GRACE!~ COME JOIN THIS HUMBLE BARD TO SEE THE GREAT TREE OF VANESSA!" "Venti, I swear to you, I—" "YOUR GRACE, IT'S WORTH IT PLEASE—"
Yeah, he's not taking the news well. But at least he'll collapse from relief knowing Mondstadt wasn't in danger after you clear up your mistake so yeah 👍 Good job, Creator!
Zhongli
The moment he hears you say that, this man is both protective over his baby (his nation) and hella scared of what the heck you're going to do to erase the Geo Nation off of the map.
When you try to enter Liyue, you "coincidentally" bump into Zhongli who tries to distract and stall you from your "objective," while also try and figure out your motive.
"Your Grace, may you please accompany me to Jueyun Karst? I believe the view there might be well, and I am in need of finding Jueyun chilis." "Zhongli, I—" "Thank you, Your Grace. Please, accompany me."
He does his absolute best to prove to you that Liyue is not a nation worth decimating for. When he hears that it was all just a misunderstanding and that, no, you weren't planning on destroying Liyue at all, he sighs in relief and decides to treat you all to tea.
Even you know y'all need it.
Raiden Ei
Gurl's not having a good time. It's almost like pre-Inazuma Archon Quest all over again. Ei's doing her best to make sure that Inazuma is the most well-behaved nation and yeah, it's kind of a disaster
The moment you step foot into Inazuma, you immediately sent to Tenshukaku to talk to Raiden Ei. She's even got Yae Miko on board with this—they cannot afford to lose Inazuma.
"Your Grace, please listen." "Ei, please—" "Inazuma has diligently followed all your orders, and we will continue to do so if you bless our nation with the chance to continue to thrive." Ei is almost going back to a similar state of being "close to the heavenly principles," only except she's here in the present and not in her eternal meditation.
The moment you get her to hear you out and that, no, Inazuma's not going anywhere, she nearly deflates on the spot. But, as she's the Raiden Shogun, she tries her best to stay composed.
Nevertheless, she's forever relieved that Inazuma is still favored by you.
Nahida
Like the others, she panics. While she is heavily worried about her subjects, and how they're faring, she has to leave that to the Akademiya's Grand Sage while she tries her best to find the reason as to why you want to decimate Sumeru.
She's heavily in thought and the moment you barge into the Sanctuary of Surasthana, Nahida immediately panics, thinking this is the end—the time you tell her to step down and watch Sumeru fall. Nevertheless, she wants Sumeru to live, and she tries to put up a fight.
"Your Grace, please tell me—what is it that made you hate Sumeru?" "Nahida, please...." "We've done nothing wrong, as far as I am aware of. Is there something that was done that makes you think Sumeru betrayed you?" She's determined to not only stall, but get you to tell your (non-existent) reasoning as to why you want Sumeru destroyed.
She's probably the easiest archon that you will be able to tell them that it was not true, and when Nahida hears this, she is both relieved, overjoyed, and making a mental note of your temperament.
Yes, she's going to five you her research about how to deal with your mood. Have fun!~
Furina
Boy oh boy...if you thought Venti was dramatic, Furina goes FULL ON dramatic. The moment she hears this, it's almost like the prophecy all over again. She panics, and she immediately demands that the charges against criminals become more brutal, and that their theatrics and soap opera are to be only top-peak level. (Neuvillette's getting a headache dealing with her, you can tell—)
When you manage to get to Fontaine, you almost don't even recognize it. The citizens are so quiet when you arrived, and moving away from you respectively as Furina immediately rushes forward and whisks you away to the Opera Epiclese to entertain you.
"Furina, please listen—" "Don't you worry about a thing, Your Grace, for I, Focalors, shall show you how Fontaine will regain your approval through their justice, and through their opera!" "Furina—" "Please, Your Grace, rejoice in our spectacles, and enjoy the feast that is brought to your majesticness!"
We know all too well that Furina is a good actor. And this situation really proves how much she's hiding her panic, despite the fact that it's killing her. She's probably the most difficult, a little above Ei, archon that will hear you out about your accidental temperament.
When you somehow manage to get Furina to listen, she immediately deflates on the spot, before immediately putting back on her elegant posture. She asks Neuvillette to go back to normal charges, and she lowers the bar for the stories, allowing her subjects the breathing room that they're used to.
She treats you to Fontaine desserts, so win-win, yeah?
And we're done! I hope you guys enjoyed it lol—See you next time! :D
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: THIS TOOK TOO LONG—MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SJGHKJGHEUHSIE SORRY-
Please feel free to send me any of your requests for Fontaine! I'm too obsessed rn lol—especially Fremmie (Freminet)!!! Anyways, hope y'all doing well lol—see you next time :)
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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mylifestylearedilfs · 9 months
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ cillian murphy x f!reader ࿐ྂ
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ A GIRL LIKE YOU : fluff ; age gap ; imagine
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_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ CILLIAN MURPHY was loved by the whole world. everyone wanted to have a chance to just talk to him or more. on social media people made fan accounts about him, doing edits, gifs etc. but cillian used his phone only for calls, texts etc. so he was clueless about things that his fans were making about his characters or just him. murphy loved acting it makes him feel alive, but he didn’t like being super popular, it definitely confused him even if he is in this career almost all life.
because of this he wasn’t a fan of dating, of course he was once in marriage, and he has two sons, but it wasn’t it. he loved his ex-wife, but they weren’t meant for each other, and it was fine. he wasn’t in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship with his wife, their divorce wasn’t because of the fault of anybody. they just weren’t a match, but they are still good friends, maybe because of their children but also because cillian knew that he always could come to her when he needs help, and she could do the same.
but dating in his age wasn’t a good idea. he was forty-seven with two almost adult sons, and he was divorced. nobody wants a man like him to serious relationship, maybe some casual sexual acquaintances but nothing else. also all women he used to ‘date’ were aware about his career and almost always wanted to get him because of his fame. it was exhausting, and sometimes he wanted to be a normal guy without all of this popularity.
people saying that love is everywhere, but could it be in the small cafeteria? as you can see, cillian wasn’t a fan of showing himself in a place where you can meet a lot of people, so when it comes to drink a good coffee and eat a dessert he wouldn’t choose a starbucks but a small café on the outskirts. it was a quaint place, established by a young woman in her late twenties. cafeteria doesn’t even have the google site, maybe that was a reason why the only customer there was an old lady who comes there everyday just to have someone to talk to.
so when cillian enter the café the owner was in shock but smiled at him wondering if he would stay in there more than a few minutes. well, she was aware that her shop wasn’t popular at all, but she didn’t care. this place has been always her dream and she made it come true. she was happy that this old lady named ophelia was her regular customer because she had someone to talk during the shift.
“hello, are you ready to order?” the woman asked with a smile on her face. at this moment, in the background, ‘have you ever loved someone’ by the vocaleers starts playing.
“one americano please” cillian smiled at her as she nodded.
“do you want brownie with this coffee? i just made some, it still hot”
“sure, why not” he said, and she just smiled happily at him, thanking him for an order. cillian sat at the corner and looked at her. she was doing his coffee quietly singing words of song and do a little dance to this. he couldn’t understand how she could be so positive when her business weren’t the most successful, but there she was enjoying her job.
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cillian started to come to this café every day, maybe for this delicious desserts or maybe for this kind owner. let’s be honest, he came for both. murphy cannot understand how he found a person who was just like him. she didn’t use social media and wasn’t a big fan of movies where she could see cillian, so she didn’t know that he was a famous actor. she treated him just like an average person, and he was grateful for that.
it felt good when you weren’t treating like an animal in zoo but like a human. she makes him feel better about himself. and her new hobby was showing cillian the world that she knows and loves. maybe she wasn’t the person with an eventful life, she wasn’t a celebrity who was doing interviews every day. but that makes her special in his eyes.
with her positivity she made his days better, he missed days of doing nothing but talking about world, dreams or other stuff that his exes didn’t like talking about. she was a perfect woman in his eyes.
maybe he wasn’t that old to dating again?
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ thank you for attention! and im sorry for any mistakes.
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4ft10tvlandfangirl · 5 months
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You know what's incredibly upsetting? Seeing so many pro-Israel or pro-Zionist posts parrot that the only reason anyone could be pro-Palestine or call for a free Palestine is because they hate Jews.
I know what this tactic is meant to do and I know how making people apathetic, how discrediting their knowledge of a topic or questioning the genuineness of their empathy and other similar tactics are used to benefit the oppressive group but it's still pissing me off.
I am a descendant of enslaved people.
Our history lessons always begin with the slaughter & genocide of the indigenous peoples that were here first, primarily the Taino, who thankfully have a few descendants living in isolation along with the protected Maroon villages. It is normal throughout high school to take history trips to former great houses & plantations and see for ourselves the sites where our ancestors were brutalized and massacred; the weapons and tools of torture preserved and on display so that we knew but a taste of what they went through.
My university is built on the grounds of a former plantation. There are businesses and homes built on top of mass graves & on top of sites of slaughter. There is literally no escaping our colonial history because it touches everything. Our last names are not even our own! Most of us have English, Scottish and Irish last names given by the plantation owners to our ancestors. Or you know...because many children were the product of rape. We cannot accurately trace our true heritage more than 4-5 generations back because most families have no complete records.
A lot of you like to bring up grandparents. Cool. My great-great grandmother was the daughter of a mulatto free woman and a white Scottish sailor. She was white passing. Because land and work were hard to get here under colonial rule, she left the island for a better life with her husband who was a Cuban born mulatto and they ended up living in the US through WWII and after. They were considered an interracial couple (black & white rather than both being seen as mixed) and could not live in certain places because it was illegal. Papa couldn't find work, was treated horribly, because he had darker skin but Grandma found work passing as white and was treated much better. She worked 2-3 jobs to provide for them and their 5 children.
But, there were times when she would appear darker like if she was out in the sun too long or her curls would start to show and a Jewish neighbour/coworker suggested to her it might be safer to tick Jewish on forms rather than white if her race was ever questioned. I suppose due to that kindness the family formed friendships within the Jewish community where they lived & Grandma's eldest son actually married a Jewish woman. His kids and grandkids are all Jewish and they still live in the US.
I share this specific thing because I have very real concerns for those members of my family. But while I worry for them in this time of increasing anti-semitism and absolutely decry any verbal/physical attacks against them, I am still going to speak against things that are wrong. What Israel is doing is wrong. Of course as a non-Jewish person I can acknowledge I may misstep and if I say/do something that is genuinely anti-semitic I'll take the correction. But if your aim is just to intimidate me into silence it's not going to work.
And trying to tell me 'well black people are not welcomed there or black people wouldn't get treated well in Palestine' as if that affects the cost of bread. Guess what? Black people face racism everywhere. Even among our own and colonialism has a lot to do with that. That same grandmother, I was fortunate to grow up with her in the latter part of her life after she returned to the island and every time I went out with her there were questions of whether my family worked for her. Or why was I, this little black girl with this little old white lady as if I meant her harm. She had to say proudly, "This is my granddaughter." How other people view me or treat me isn't going to stop me from speaking up for what's right.
With the history of my people I could never ever ever side with the oppressor. Ever. Whether its here in the west or in the east, whether it's happening to my fellow black people, or any other group of people, I cannot in good conscience stand with the oppressor. My ancestors were forcibly stripped of their humanity, called savages, animals, barbarians and all of that was brutally beaten into them. That same language and similar acts of brutality are being used against Palestinians today.
You think you can cower me into staying silent on that? With unfounded accusations of hate? I refuse.
N.B. - my use of the word mulatto here is strictly to provide the historical context of how my grandparents were seen/classified and spoken of. It is not a term we use.
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the-blue-fairie · 5 months
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Art by @shes-an-iso – commissioned by me and posted here with permission
Realization.
It is ten years ago and I am watching Frozen.
It is ten years ago and I am watching Elsa transform herself into her truest self, watching her spin threads of blue around herself, seizing power for herself – radical self-actualization.
The glint of Elsa’s ice dress reflects in my eyes as I watch Elsa strut into the sunlight – and I do not have words for why I am so moved.
I do not have words, but the shimmer stays.
It is ten years ago and I am choosing to become a part of the Frozen fandom.
I have lurked in fandom circles before, but never posted a thing, never made an account.
It is my first time being part of an online fan community – and, as awful as fandoms can be at times, this fandom – for me – ten years ago – is truly a community.
I begin to make friends in the Frozen fandom.
Some of these friends are trans.
The gleam of Elsa’s hair in the rose-gold dawn shines again in my eyes, and shyly, I begin asking questions of my friends.
Realization is nothing without the words to process it – and my friends give me words, my friends help me to understand.
I am a trans woman.
It is in this online space that I first take the name Liza for myself, since this online space is the only place that I can allow myself to be.
I build for myself. My blog is my own ice palace. What I cannot sculpt in daily life, I carve within online spaces – offering my writing, my thoughts, my edits, my soul to the world.
Everyone here knows me as Liza.
Even as I’m in the closet to my family for years, in here, I am Liza. My friends know me as I am, and as Liza is all they will ever know me.
But I am in the closet. For years.
(It’s why Do You Want to Build a Snowman still breaks me.)
In the closet more out of some misplaced sense of duty to my family than out of dread, though I am scared. Always scared. And then in the closet because I feel it’s better if I bury this. Not better for me, but for them. If I’m bleeding inside, it doesn’t matter. I can put on a show. I have fine-woven gloves. Well-taught decorum. Be the good girl you always have to be, etc.
(Maybe it’s my fault I’m in the closet for years. Anons on this site have told me that in the past. I don’t have it as bad as others in the closet, I’m just a coward, the fault is mine, the fault is mine…)
Fuck off.
(People blame Elsa for the thirteen years in the same way, placing the blame on her and not the tutelage that trained her, because her parents loved her, you see, and love becomes a convenient means of shifting blame to the victim.)
In June 2016, after the Pulse shooting, I make a post about how I’m never going to come out. I am terrified, heartbroken, mangled by grief – but my friends are there for me. My friends send me messages of support, of compassion.
I still cherish the memory of those.
Years pass. When I finally come out to my father, I can barely say the words, barely look him in the eye.
It is ten years since Frozen and I have come out to my family – far too late. I have been on HRT more than a year now.
(My dad still misgenders me when he thinks I’m out of earshot. He resents when I get frustrated with him over this.)
It is ten years since Frozen and I am Elsa on the North Mountain, staring into the whirlwind of an uncertain future, defiant and scared.
And I know – I know – that I didn’t process I was trans because of the film – it was because of the friendship of fellow trans people, trans people who happened to be Frozen fans a decade ago – but my journey of self-realization, my time in the closet, my creation of a sense of self, are so entwined with memories of Frozen that I can’t help but think of it when thinking about my own transition…
Can’t help but think of Elsa, hips swaying, arms outstretched, flashing, radiant –
Happy tenth anniversary, Frozen.
And thank you. Thank you.
(This is okay to reblog. In fact, please do. It is a sliver of my soul that I offer to the world.)
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just-ornstein · 3 months
Text
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BEAKER CASTLE EVEN - A SimPE Deep Dive
Alright, so after stumbling upon some of the Beta pics on the Russian TheSims.cc site and this analysis post about the Beaker mansion, I became deeply curious if some of this would be reflected in the lot relationships. After all, some characters like Viola, Kelly, on top of several others could be found when digging through the raw and somewhat encrypted code of lots.
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By now it's pretty clear that the Beaker home once belonged to this dude and his army of girlfriends (definitely check out the post I mentioned earlier). On top of that Loki (and possibly Circe) seems to have gone through at least two iterations before eventually settling on their final forms.
And on top of that whenever you scan the mansion in a completely new game, you will find fingerprints of primarily deceased Sims everywhere!
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Now to get to the Sim relationships on the lot...
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712 freaking Sim Relationships, all of which are unknown. Some of which still have stats set such as married, friends, relationship scores, etc. I tried comparing this to other lots in their neighborhood and NONE even come close. Both Olive and the Smiths have around 400. The other lots have below. And the only lots that are even a tad higher in this number are the Capps and the Summerdreams which makes sense when you realise that hood went through at least one other iteration before turning into Veronaville.
Now I wondered if the encrypted code (despite being very hard to read due to being partially encrypted) had any old Sim remnants left in there. And yep, several even. Many of which even have information such as their gender, hair, clothes and age in there. So lemme go over some of them:
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1. First one, a guy who's name is partially encrypted so it will never fully be visible. It's not Johnny cause Johnny also has his character file on this lot.
A male teen with brown hair who used to wear the "tmbodyhoodedsweatshirtboardshorts" + the "tmhairhatcap" hairstyle.
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2. Second is another teen, this time by the name of Zeeshan. He had black hair, the bucket hat hairstyle and wore the hooded sweatshirt, except with pants this time around (and grey apparently?).
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3. The third was an adult male Sim by the name of Kenneth with black hair. Based on his info he was likely meant to be a Gardener Sim.
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4. The fourth was one named Kana... Possibly a longer name cause once again the code becomes a bit shambled here. She too was meant to be a Gardener as seen by her outfit and hair data. Her hair would have been brown.
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5. Elle, another female Gardener Sim, this one having red hair.
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6. Vasyl, an adult male Sim who wore the busdriver outfit. Sadly his hair data seems to be blocked behind the code. For funsies I like to give the name to Bald Beta Loki, since he gives off that vibe. BUT, I think this was an NPC busdriver due to the outfit.
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7. Joanne, an adult female Sim with an unknown hair colour in corn rows style and the classy afbodyjacketturtlesweaterdressboots. Sadly her ID is hidden behind the encrypted code, so it's hard to fully make out.
All of these Sims appear to be NPC/Townie Sims. None of them match ANYONE in the Beta pictures. And the current Townies/NPCs seem to have replaced them. Interestingly enough, those that were NPCs are still NPCs and those that were Townies are still Townies. Making me wonder if this is a thing that translates to other Sim IDs too. That Sims that were Townies in earlier iterations are still Townies in their new form. Same for NPCs and yep, Playables. This is merely an assumption I'm making on what I'm finding here, but if anyone can help research this further, that would be greatly appreciated, especially as this could mean the Viola ID may not belong to Viola Monty.
Viola is an odd case cause no outfit, hair or other data can be found in the lot file and she's only ever mentioned once in the context of lines filled with "sleep in pyjamas". But for now I cannot say anything with certainty unless more remnants of these old Sims could be found somewhere. OR, if these files could be read in its entirety which is quite difficult.
It's very hard to get a Sim ID attached to a lot (believe me I tried) and often times seems to rather happen accidentally than intentionally. Moving a Sim out or having a Sim die usually removes the data they once held to that lot. Good example is Loki in my current Strangetown who lived on this lot all of his life and when he died he had no remnants left on this lot.
REGARDLESS! The Beaker lot is ancient and seems to have been ground for a ton of testing, Sims and many more things. No wonder the Beakers got this home with its incredibly shady history. Half of the beta town was partying here!
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fancyfeathers · 2 months
Text
Rain and Dirt (Yandere Rex Lapis/Zhongli x Goddesses!Reader)
Chapter Four, Melancholy Memories
Sequel to The Moon Will Sing and Time Alone
Chapter One
Chapter Two Chapter Three
Summary: Stories are told of Rex Lapis the God of Contracts and his darling the Goddess of the Moonlight, but what people do not know is the truth of what their relationship really is. People think at Rex Lapis’s death that his wife would be the first to weep, but what if she is the first to smile.
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You watch as the faces of Lumine and Paimon turn into pure shock. They look at each other, then to Moon Carver, then back to you. Their faces turn to shock then into pity, the one thing you did not want now.
“We’re so sorry…” Lumine started, but was not able to find the words. You shook your head, which caught the attention of Moon Carver.
“Sorry? Sorry for what?” The Adeptus questioned, stepping towards you. You knew that the Adepti would be shook to the core at the news of your husband’s death, you did not know what exactly their reactions would be besides extreme.
“It was at the Rite of Descension, I was assisting Lumine and her companion, Paimon, in finding the site of the ceremony.” You gesture over towards them, and your eyes drift down towards the ground, trying to make yourself at least seem mournful in front of the Adeptus. You took a shaky breath in as if to make it seem as if you were on the edge of tears. “Rex Lapis only descended as a corpse, he was assassinated, he’s dead. We have yet to find the culprit but they think it was Lumine but I was with her the entire time.”
“Preposterous…”
“Moon Carver-“
“PREPOSTEROUS!”
“Moon Carver!” You raised your voice at the deer and he fell silent. You sighed and fixed your gaze on the sky above. “Please stay calm, this is not the time to loose yourself in anger.”
“But how could one assassinate Rex Lapis during the Rite of Descension! And then place suspicion upon the attendees, ones with his wife no less!?” Moon Carver spoke out once again, his voice a little but softer than before but not by much. He glanced at you and then back to Lumine, almost to see if you had anything else to say. “Hm… of the unjust accusations placed upon you, one has become aware. The mind knows its answer. Though one must consult with one’s fellows, lest the mind be misguided. Go. Take your Sigil of Permission, carry with you a message.”
“B-but who should I look for?” Lumine questioned, looking at the deer and then back at you.
“Mountain Shaper and Cloud Retainer can be found here. Only fate will decide if you shall find them, or a word from my lady shall draw them forth.” You gave a nod at Moon Carver’s words, confirming this to be so. “There also exists a Conqueror of Demons, a Yaksha. Go to Wangshu Inn, there you shall seek him.”
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You, Lumine, and Paimon left Moon Carver’s abode in silence, pure, awkward, tense, silence. You walked beside her, looking over the landscape of Jueyun Karst, remembering the days you spent here with your husband and the other Adepti, memories you wish to forget, even the fond ones. You felt your hands clench at the thought of all those thousands of years you spent imprisoned, one by chain and cage and then with a ring and vow. 
“Are you okay, Miss (Name)?” You heard Lumine question, her face fixated on your own. You made yourself look at her, and she looked worried for you.
“Yes, why would I not be?” You replied, questioning her in return which gave her and Paimon a flabbergasted expression. 
“…your husband was killed in front of you.”
“So? He is not my husband anymore, he’s dead.” Lumine still looked so perplexed at your explanation, but she simply did not know or understand what happened during all those years. “There are some things you cannot understand especially with the perceptive Liyue has of him, which is true but he was not just what they speak of. You asked me before what I felt of him and his death and the truth is I felt relieved when I saw his corpse.”
“You what!?” The high pitched voice of Paimon squealed in your ear when you said that. “You’re happy your husband is dead?”
“It sounds strange but if you know the story behind it, the true story, it is not so hard to understand. Those love stories that Childe mentioned, do not believe them, they are all lies. Remember history is formed by the victors, and I did not win.” You looked at Lumine and her confused expression. “I will explain at some point, but it is best you understand the present of the land before you try to understand the past of the land. I am sure your time in Liyue will bring light to that, once you return from the abode of the Adepti, come and find me.”
“Wait, you’re not coming with us?” You nodded your head at Lumine’s question, your eyes going to drift up at the mountains that hold the abodes of Mountain Shaper and Cloud Retainer.
“I cannot come with you, this place holds too many painful memories for me.” You forced a smile, but in your mind you could remember the cries of agony you wept after you broke your contract with Rex Lapis, those five hundred years of pain. “You will find Mountain Shaper on Mount Hulao, and then Cloud Retainer on Mount Aozang. You can tell them that Moon Carver sent you and if that does not work, tell them that I sent you and show them this…”
You slipped off your glove and you expected to see the mark your husband left you with after your act of disobedience, but it was not there, it was gone. You silently guessed that it vanished with his death, as death did you part. You shook away that thought for the time being and slipped off your wedding band, made of pure cor lapis, engraved with a long forgotten language of ancient Liyue. You took Lumine’s hand and placed the tin open her palm before your hand folded her fingers to curl around it.
“One last request, if you have the chance there is a cavern between Mt. Aozang and Qingyun Peak at the bottom of Huaguang Stone Forest. If you want a silver of the truth of who Rex Lapis really is you will find it there, but be warned that if you go there somethings are hard to unsee.” Lumine only nodded to your request, but did not say anything else and nor did you. You only gave a quick glance before you turned on your heel and began walking back, back to Liyue Harbor, a city that feels strange to you now.
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You returned to Liyue Harbor, but you decided not to return to your home, you just could not make yourself return there now. You instead found yourself walking down to the docks, wanting to feel the comfort of the ocean again. You sat down at the edge of the dock, dangling your feet in the water that had an orange glow as the sun set over the harbor. You closed your eyes and remembered the time you and your siblings would converse by the water, not just you and your sister, but your whole family. The gods of Teyvat that are no Adepti, nor wind of Mondstadt, or subservient to any Archon of the land.
“Come little sister, you are the goddess of the rain, you have no reason to fear the water.” Your older brother told you, extending his hand to you as to help you wade into the water. Your brother had taken his human form as to be less intimidating to his younger siblings, namely you and your sister. “Come now, I will protect you for everything that swims knows my name as they will know yours.”
“But, it’s so deep.” You were hesitant to go any further than where the waves just hit your feet. “Who knows what’s down there.”
“I know the depths of the ocean, for it is my home and I promise nothing that dwells there is scarier than I and you don’t fear me, do you?” You shook your head no to his question and took a breath in before taking his hand. He guided you deeper into the water, but still making sure the water did not go over your head. “See, you are perfectly safe here, safer than anywhere because the ocean will always protect you.”
You hummed as you remembered the comfort the ocean had with your brother, and it still provided comfort but you could not see him anymore thanks to the one who calls himself your husband. You heard footsteps approach you, coming to stop behind you. At first you got a bad case of deja vu, remember the times your husband would drag you away from the water, saying how it was to protect you from the dangers of the deep. You could not get yourself to look behind you.
“Back so soon? I’m guessing Lumine is still off meeting with the Adepti.” A wave of relief washed over you as you heard the Fatui Harbinger’s voice. You looked over your shoulder to see the red haired man. 
“Yes, I figured she could navigate herself from where I left her.” You responded as Childe came to sit next to you on the dock, his legs not dangling over the edge as to avoid the water. “She’ll be alright.”
“Is that the entire truth?” His words were sudden and caught you off guard. You glanced at him, a confused look plastered on your face.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, with all due respect, you’re a terrible liar.” His empty blue eyes looked over the vast ocean before you, his eyes landed on Guyun Stone Forest in the distance. “When most women's husbands die they are weeping at their side, so I suspect those stories are nothing but fiction.”
“That… is correct.” There was no point in lying, he already knew, probably figured it out when you were talking to him before. “What do you want, Childe? Need I remind you that I am no mere mortal, I’m still a god even if I am weaker than the others.”
“I mean no harm, I just want to make a deal, no contract necessary.” He reached out and gestured into the distance where he was looking, Guyun Stone Forest. You knew who lay under there, all of Liyue knew. “You miss him don’t you?
“Morax?”
“No, your brother.” Childe corrected you and your face dropped to be emotionless and your gaze fell onto the water that reflected you both.
“I miss all my siblings.”
There was a pungent moment of silence between the two of you, no glances or words exchanged. Your heart ached for your family, your sisters, your brothers, but they were all but gone now, some dead, some sealed away, and others unknown to you.
“Here is my deal, help me…” you could feel his eyes fix on you again, watching you for your reaction. Then when he said those words he got the reaction he wanted, eyes widened, mouth agape, and body frozen. “…and I’ll make sure your brother is freed.”
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familyabolisher · 11 months
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Do you think any of the frameworks you've developed for analyzing love in TLT could be applied to Pyrrha's relationship to cam/pal? Since Nona doesn't understand it well, it's hard for me to get a handle on how those characters relate to each other, but I was wondering where it might stand on what the series considers "perfect love," what the significance of its presence/ambiguity is, etc.
I’m really locked on to this idea of illegibility, actually, and the kind of work that gets done in Nona to problematise efforts to easily name, define, & categorise a relationship or set of relationships. I’m thinking of what Muir said here:
It’s a very strange household. And they are a found family, but I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that in the last movement of the book Nona questions what that even means—their motives, what they all truly wanted out of each other, their pretenses: are they a family, or are they all just a psychosexual mess of roleplaying and bad meals? (The answer is yes.)
and like, her suggestion that ‘family’ can plausibly be collapsed into a ‘psychosexual mess of roleplaying’ and that the drive of Nona is less about asking whether Cam/Pal/Pyrrha/Nona ‘are’ a family as much as it’s about asking what it actually means to identify them as such; and particularly to identify them as such in a text which does very significant work elsewhere to identify ‘the family’ as a site of violence, a mechanism by which particular forms of violence can be enacted. I’m honing in on that ‘last movement of the book’ comment to say that, like—so, the two narratives in Nona (the ‘main’ narrative ie. Nona et al. on Lemuria, and the John narrative) are spliced together, right, so it makes sense to try and read them as though they’re in dialogue with one another, and the obvious entrypoint for doing so is the fact that they’re both working as an account of the ‘creation’ of Alecto; first through John literally creating her and then through Nona remembering his having done so and thus rebecoming what she had forgotten she was. What does it mean to ‘create’ Alecto?—what are the conditions that Alecto’s creation ushers in, what are the conditions that her creation does away with? The ‘last movement’ of the book is to ‘create’ Alecto for the second time—so, what does Alecto represent, and what about her ‘creation’ leads the text to ask what it means to describe something as a ‘family’ in the first place?
The reason I’m drawn to this reading of Cam/Pal/Pyrrha as like, ultimately illegible, incoherent in that we as audience cannot coherently put words to it and make sense of it in the language readily available to us, is because I think the text understands these processes of ordering, taxonomising, delineating, and categorising as tactics of fascism. This is a tension also at play in Lolita; Humbert ‘orders’ and constructs his narrative via the available tools of literary discourse and similarly constructs his ‘Lolita’ as a labyrinth of cultural references and taxonomies; but Dolores is a ‘Haze,’ Annabel Leigh is a ‘tangle of thorns,’ there exists a being who is able to remain indistinct and impenetrable in a narrative which enacts violence on her by trying to make taxonomical sense of her. Coherence and legibility are mechanisms of visibility; under fascism, to be easily made sense of can be dangerous. The first two books were all about coherence, legibility, interpellation, and the consequences of Living In A Society; what it means to ‘be’ or ‘become’ a cavalier, what the necromancer-cavalier relationship ‘means,’ what Lyctorhood ‘means,’ how these relations of hierarchised sexuality and the interpersonal relationships articulated within the normative language given to them exist to shore up conditions of imperialism. This question of ‘ordering’ goes right down to eg. enumeration (First, Second, Third, etc.) and pretty tightly contained and atomised cultural associations, and the fact that that enumeration can be traced back to Alecto—
D’you know why you’re really the First? Because in a very real way, you and the others are A.L.’s children … There would be none of you, if not for her.
—which cribs this passage, from Lolita:
‘[…] for I must confess that depending on the condition of my glands and ganglia, I could switch in the course of the same day from one pole of insanity to the other—from the thought that around 1950 I would have to get rid somehow of a difficult adolescent whose magic nymphage had evaporated—to the thought that with patience and luck I might have her produce eventually a nymphet with my blood in her exquisite veins, a Lolita the Second, who would be eight or nine around 1960, when I would still be dans la force de l’âge; indeed, the telescopy of my mind, or un-mind, was strong enough to distinguish in the remoteness of time a vieillard encore vert—or was it green rot?—bizarre, tender, salivating Dr. Humbert, practicing on supremely lovely Lolita the Third the art of being a granddad. In the days of that wild journey of ours, I doubted not that as father to Lolita the First I was a ridiculous failure.
—very evenly ties together ideas of reproduction as imperial sustention figured in the language of sexual assault. The point is: as far as the empire is concerned, processes of ordering and taxonomising are equivocal to the mechanical maintenance of conditions of fascism.
Conversely, Nona is a text about when John’s precise demarcation of the world starts to fail and people have to make sense of themselves between the cracks; from Pyrrha as both failed cavalier and failed Lyctor to Cam and Palamedes and then Paul as if not ‘failed’ then at least a new ordering of necromancer/cavalier-ism to the Tower Princes as John’s kind of scrambling effort to rearticulate hegemony post-losing all but one of his Lyctors. Regarding how we are to read Cam/Pal/Pyrrha, I think it’s pretty clear that the text understands the obligations, normative assumptions and expectations, and material consequences of normative kinship relations identified as ‘family’ as part and parcel with the social ordering of a fascistic imperial hegemony; Kiriona, Alecto, and Harrow make up the three key points of contact for this reading, though it’s pretty diffuse across the whole work. We see kinship relations as structuring imperialist hierarchies and we understand the currency of those hierarchies to be death/abuse/sexual violence/totalised control, articulated most profoundly through Kiriona; we also see the destruction of social formations as part and parcel with conquest—
Palamedes said mildly, “You know we’re conversant with the concept of family in the Nine Houses, right?” Pash seemed genuinely surprised. “Why the hell would it matter to you? [...] You don’t give a fuck about families when you’re carving them up—”
—this of course being in keeping with the general conditions of mixed cultures, mixed languages, variances on kinship structures, refugees seemingly thrown together on Lemuria. The bolstering of the social articulations of the conquerors and denaturing of the social articulations of the conquered is rendered as a tactic of conquest; ‘family’ here is figured as a cudgel of imperialism.
Diegetically, as I said, Cam + Pal + Pyrrha + Nona’s social arrangement is not ‘normative,’ neither in the fact that others on Lemuria can make easy sense of it (and thus attempt to do so by referring to peripheralised and marginalised social relations ie. sex work) nor in the fact that they can coherently make sense of themselves via the imperial taxonomy (is Pyrrha a Lyctor greatest thread in the history of forums). Nor is it normative on our end; relative to the nuclear family structure, it’s the ‘wrong’ number of parents, the ‘wrong’ configurations of gender, the ‘wrong’ configurations of blood relation (Nona is a ‘child’ but not an ‘heir’ to anything and not a blood relation of either; Cam and Palamedes as ‘parents’ are blood-related), even the ‘wrong’ overall kinship relations—I put ‘child’ and ‘parents’ in quotations there precisely because I don’t think they’re conditions uncritically reified by the narrative as much as they’re discursive gestures made for the sake of being problematised. Is Nona their ‘child’ in a text where to be the ‘child’ of someone means to be what Kiriona is to John? Is this a ‘family’ when ‘family’ is the mechanic of imperial refortification? Again, like—what does it mean to call them a family at all?
‘Family’ is a label we deploy to give legibility to relations that we are otherwise struggling to make sense of. Setting aside Paul for the moment because I don’t quite know what to do with them and probably won’t have a Take that I can confidently commit to until after Alecto—I think the kind of difficulty that the text has in articulating exactly what Cam + Pal + Pyrrha ‘had’ between them that we see in that final scene is intentional, and I think it’s best understood left that way rather than wrangled into a taxonomy that the rest of the text is v determined to critically unpack. So to answer your question, I think the ambiguity is key—one overarching theme of the series is how people can love each other and articulate that love when the language available for them to do so carries obligations of disparate power, hierarchy, serves a particular purpose that we come to understand as ethically unconscionable; whether that love has to be made sense of within hierarchy, or contravene it, or try and stake a place outside of it. Cam + Palamedes + Pyrrha become the next stage of development in the unravelling of such a discourse; to try and make coherent sense of them could all too easily mean falling back on the language that the text works to identify as socially constructed and thus as limited, and thus imposing those limitations.
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ihavethedreamies · 3 months
Text
Clingy | Chenle
Zhong Chenle - NCT Dream
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Rating: M (18+) MDNI
Word Count: ~5.6k
Pairing: Chenle x AFAB!Reader
Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Established Relationship
!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!
Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Slight Age Difference (Like 2 years), He calls the reader Noona, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! She has an IUD), First Time
Author's Note: I cannot begin to express how much I love a Lele, and for so long he was my precious baby boy but then he got, like, really hot, so here, have this.
I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other two sites. Happy reading!
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"Noona!" You heard him call out to you. You always did, he is quite loud. However, you already knew it was him because you heard him key in the code to your door and the following beep when it unlocked. You were busy cleaning the bathroom, night was the best time to clean. Being a night owl, you had more energy and then you could go straight to bed when you subsequently exhausted yourself from cleaning. Ringing out the magic sponge you were using, you dried your hands on a towel and went down the hall to find him in the living room.
"You're here!" You smiled and he hadn't even taken his mask off yet and was still in his coat. Since he didn't live at the dorm anyway, he would come straight to your place instead of going right home. He practically lived with you at this point.
"You tired, precious?" You asked and he nodded, whining a yes. He then lifted his arms like a child wanting to be picked up, so you go stand in front of him. The low height of the couch let him lean forward for a hug, he rested his head on your stomach. Preferring to either be fully clothed or not, you were still in your day clothes. That way, when you got all sweaty you could just take a shower, put on your PJs (a tank and panties), and go to bed. While your day clothes were a sweatshirt and jeans, still comfy, Chenle always wondered why you didn't change right away upon getting home. You told him you lost all motivation to do anything productive the minute you changed clothes, so you just didn't. You even still had your shoes on, a big no-no in Korea, but your feet hurt running around cleaning without them on. Plus, it was your apartment so you could do whatever you wanted! In reality you had sneakers you only wore at home to clean, but most people still thought it was at the least weird and at the most, offensive.
Just when you thought he was going to fall asleep like that, he pulled away to look up at you like a puppy. Reaching up you pull the strings of his mask off his ears and take the black accessory off. Letting it fall next to him on the couch, you smiled upon seeing his cute face. That sweet smile he only showed you stretched across his face, and you cooed.
"You're so stinking cute." you complimented him, and he giggled.
"Are you hungry?"
"Starving. I'm so hungry Noona." He whined and you grabbed him by the collar as he moved to flop onto the couch.
"Take your coat off first." You nagged and drug him back to sitting up and get the parka off, then let him flop back onto the cushions. Grabbing the remote from the side table, you turned the TV on and then handed him the device.
"What do you want to eat?"
You. He thought to himself but didn't say it. He was feeling extra needy but wasn't sure how to approach you about it. You had done plenty for him in the past, but that was it. He wasn't pushy, but he wanted to treat you good too. If you weren't ready to go all the way, that was fine…
"You have the ramen I like still?" He finally called out as you entered the kitchen after hanging his coat.
"Yes. Is that really all you want?" You asked, willing to make him something else.
"Yeah." You shrugged to yourself and got to work on it. He really just wanted something fast so you could be done and cuddle him. You ate pretty consistently at the same time when you were at home and had thus eaten a few hours before. As you made his supper, you snacked on some grapes. You had to be careful with how many you ate, fruit was more expensive in Korea than where you were from, so you tried to limit yourself to make it last longer. Once it was done, you went back to the living room to set the table back down you had rested against the wall to clean the floor. He was draped over the couch, one arm dangling off the side and the opposite leg resting on the back of the couch. You huffed a laugh and went back to retrieve the ramen pot. Putting a hot pad down, you then set down the pot and handed him the chopsticks. Going to clean up, he whined out, "where are you going?"
"I have to clean up, it'll take a sec I just have to throw somethings out." You promised and made sure to discard the wrappers and made sure no seasoning powder was on the counter. He whined again when you didn't come straight in, going around the apartment to shut off lights you left on. Once that was all done you finally went to sit with him.
"No, behind me." He scooched forward when you tried to sit at the table with him and tilting your head curiously you do as he requested. Immediately, once you were down, he scooted back and dragged the table with him, placing himself between your legs. You smiled as his head tilted to rest on your left leg and you pet his hair as he did that. He had already managed to eat more than half of the noodles by then and he only continued when you prompted. He wanted to cuddle more than eat but he wasn't going to put your effort to waste. Chenle knew you enjoyed cooking, especially for other people, but he wanted something fast so he could have you sooner. When he was done, you tried to get up to clean up and he gave you a stern, "no," then did it himself. It wasn't that he wasn't helpful, but he got up so quickly. You lowkey didn't trust him to clean it right, you were just that way with everyone, but he knew you pretty well. You were very particular about washing the bottom of the pot just as well as the rest of it and you even used a specific soap for the pots and pans, different than everything else. When Chenle came back in, he went to the lamp and turned it on so he could shut off the bright overhead light. As he came back to the couch to join you, you stood up.
"I'm going to shower so I can change." You told him, not having cleaned everything yet but you could tell he wanted to be with you.
"Wait." He grabbed your hand and pulled you back to him. When you didn't catch his hint, he pulled you again. You landed on his lap with a yelp, and he further manhandled you till you straddled him.
"Lele?" You were slightly shocked by your boyfriend’s forwardness. It didn't bother you, not at all, but it was still surprising. Neither of you could really be considered dominant in the relationship, so to see him being a bit more forceful was…hot. Wrapping his arms around you, you relaxed further onto his lap, and he rested his head on your chest.
"This better?" You smiled, hugging him back and kissing the top of his head.
"Could be even better…" He mumbled and you furrowed your brow. Before you could ask for clarification, he pulled back to look at you. Suddenly, he spread his legs and you fell between them onto your butt with an, "oof." Your legs were still over his so the position was slightly uncomfortable but now you were eye level. Then, your boyfriend was just staring at you intently, looking at each part of your face.
"W-what?"
"You're just pretty." His face softened into a smile, and you scoffed.
"Okay." You conceded and he sneered.
"You are!"
"Okay!" You aren't convinced. Partially, you think there is something else going on too, but…You weren't self-deprecating, you didn't think you were ugly, just average. Nothing to write home about.
"You don't think so?" He pouted and you shrugged.
"Noona!"
"What?"
"You’re so pretty. To me, you are the prettiest girl, that's all that should matter. You're my pretty girl!" He insisted and he wasn't whining or pouting, he sounded a little upset. Like, angry upset. It took you aback. After the shock melted from your face, you smiled genuinely and brought your hands up to stroke his cheeks.
"Thank you, Lele. I can be your pretty girl." You gave him a small kiss and it flared something in him. It wasn't enough. When you pulled back, his arms wrapped around you, and he slammed his mouth back to yours. You gasped at his forcefulness as his hand rested on your back between your shoulders. His other hand went to your butt so he could readjust you on his lap. Back to a more comfortable position, you sighed, and he took advantage of this, his tongue invading your mouth. The hand on your back stayed there, the other one going to the hem of your sweatshirt and slipped under it. He grunted in annoyance pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting you.
"I hate that you wear these high-waisted jeans." He grumbled and you're gaping, face growing hot.
"A-are you okay?" You asked him and he flinched, giving you a wide-eyed stare. He could tell from your tone you were genuinely worried. He was never that forward. Did he take it too far too fast?
"J-just…want you." His voice was quiet, and he buried his face into the nook of your neck, and you relaxed.
"Hmm, I see. You want some help?" You rested your cheek on his head, reaching for the zipper of his pants.
"No! You always do that for me. Want to help my pretty girl." He whined grabbing your wrist quick to stop your hand. You rested back further on his lap and he's looking down to where he grabbed your wrist. Relaxing the grip, he took both your hands in his and stroked the back of your right with his thumb.
"Why do you gotta say it like that?" You huffed, embarrassed.
"Let me show you."
"Show me what?"
"How pretty I think you are. You always take care of me, let me take care of you." He hadn’t whispered per se, but his voice was soft as he leaned back to you, placing a soft kiss on your mouth.
"I-I…"
"If you're not okay with-"
"No! It's just…I don't mind doing stuff for you, I like that I make you feel good, it makes me feel good." You shrugged, not able to look him in the eye. Chenle didn’t say anything, but shifted a bit and before you could get up, your world spun and you're on your back underneath him. Not having any idea, he was that strong, to just toss you like that, you found it incredibly attractive. Once again, you are shocked, seeing how he was looking at you. His gaze is intense, his pupils dilated. His knee wedged between your legs and your breath hitched when his thigh dug in over your covered mound. He held himself up with his left arm, using his right hand to go under your sweatshirt once again, but it didn't go past the top of your pants. Instead, it went lower, his fingers digging into your butt, his elbow bent to lower him back down to you; he kissed you again. He was more aggressive than before. The hand on your ass let him force you to grind on his thigh and you gave him a soft moan, letting him swallow it as his tongue reentered your mouth. It was turning you on way more than was logical. You had made out before, sure, but not like that. When you were about to tap out to breathe, he pulled back and your hands went to rest on his biceps as you caught your breath. His leg grinded against your core and couldn't help but let a sigh out. You knew that just riding his thigh would have been enough, but that would be something to try later. Even though he said he was okay waiting, you suddenly weren't.
"You okay to keep going?" He asked, and you whined out a yes; then he's off you, hauling you up by the arm and practically dragging you to your room. He flipped the light on, the bright ceiling lamp too harsh for the mood. He tapped the light bar behind your computer till it gave off a soft yellow glow so you can turn off the overhead. Gently, he brought you to sit on the bed and he kneeled on the floor in front of you, untying your shoes to take them off. You wanted to protest but when you opened your mouth to, he shot you a look that shut you up. He set your sneakers under your desk and took off your socks, throwing them into the corner vaguely near your laundry basket. He sat up straighter on his knees, kneeling between yours and looked up at you.
"I love you." He whispered, his lips brushing over yours. Your breath hitched and your throat clenched. While you knew how he felt and how you yourself did, it hadn't been said out loud yet.
"I love you too-" His hand shot out, burying in your hair at the back of your head and hauled you into another kiss. Moving to kneel at full height, once again you were eye level, and his hands went back to your sweatshirt. You let him take it off of you, reluctant to break the kiss to get it all the way off. You felt super sexy in your nude plain bra, but also kind of embarrassed. Yes, he had seen you in a swimsuit before, but it was one piece and, well, not your underwear.
"You okay?" He asked and you nodded.
"Y-yes. I just…have never…"
"You haven't?" He was genuinely surprised. He figured with how much you knew and what you even knew about yourself that you had experience.
"I-I've used toys, but I have never been with a guy before. I have done research and read too many fanfictions, so I know myself well…" You shrugged again and the news brought the whole night into a different realm.
"I haven't either." He admitted, but you really already knew. Being an idol there wasn't much time for dating and the only reason you two were going so strong was because you worked for the company and so your schedules didn't conflict. You still got to see each other a lot and you even traveled with him.
"Tell me what to do, what to know. Where are you sensitive, what do you like?" His hand rested on your waist under your bra, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb. As he requested, he leaned back into you, his mouth hovering over your neck. Placing a kiss there, he smiled at the little shiver you let out and he saw goosebumps form on your arms.
"I-I don't get much from my breasts, never have…" You started. Maybe it would be different if he did something, but you never got anything out of it.
"What else?" He was still kissing your neck, just lightly.
"The lighter touches just tickle, if you do it…harder, it will be better." You weren't sure how else to word it. He hummed and went right into it, sucking over your pulse point and you moaned lightly, his teeth brushing over your skin.
"T-try behind my ear." You added and his nose brushed the spot till you turned your head so he could kiss there. You sighed so he knew he did it right. Moving down again, his nose bumped your earring and ran over your throat.
"There-" Your breath hitched, already knowing that was a sensitive spot. To the extent that you suspected though had not yet been tested. Breath play isn't the best thing to do alone or for a first time. Just a slight bit of pressure was enough though because his rough open-mouth kiss to your throat made your hips jump. This shocked both of you, but he didn't react to it outwardly.
"M-My stomach is really sensitive." You continued and at that prompt, he started to undo the button of your jeans so he could access that part of you. Chenle didn't try and take them off, just undid them and pulled the hem down so your belly button is revealed. Even just the brush of his slightly cold fingers on the warm skin of your tummy made you shiver.
"Even just in general, its sensitive, so with…sexual stuff it really is. I get ticklish easier, things hurt easier, I feel temperature easier-" You kind of rambled on, getting more worked up with nerves and excitement. He hummed again and you grew suspicious, knowing he was planning something mischievous based off his tone. He pulled away from your neck and he shoved you, your back hitting the bed and you huffed. Digging his fingers into the waist of your pants, he hauled you closer and smirked before licking a hot path around your belly button and up to your sternum. The sensation almost knocked the wind out of you, and you were pretty sure your panties got ruined right then. The little imp chuckled at your reaction, watching you throw your head back and your fingers dug into his shirt at the shoulders.
"Oh, uh, do you…we need a condom?" He suddenly realized and you shook your head.
"I have an IUD, remember?"
"Uh, right…what- what is that again?"
"It's like a thing they put inside. It helps my really bad cramps, but it’s really a birth control." You explained and he remembered.
"The thing that looks like a T." He drew the letter in the air.
"Yes!" The conversation was much too casual for what had just happened, but his face once again got intense.
"So, I can just cum inside?" He whispered and there was something about how he said it that made your core clench around nothing. The idea obviously turned him on, and you made a note to delve into that later. Once again, he gave you no time to retort and his fingers reburied into your jeans and he pulled them down over your butt, the force making your hips jump up, so you didn't have to. In one more pull, they were off and flying somewhere across the room. It was like time slowed down as you moved to close your legs and cover yourself (you still had underwear on), but he noticed the dark patch on your pink panties. Time sped back up and fast-forwarded till your legs were abruptly held open, then spread, by his hands landing on your inner thighs. You yelped and were again shocked at his strength that he so easily prevented you from moving.
"C-Chenle!"
"You're so wet already." His breath was hot, your thighs twitched as you felt it on your skin.
"I-" You cleared your throat, "I get like that easily…Even with toys I never need lube…" You were a little shy to admit. He knew about your vibrators, having found them when he snooped through your drawers. He had gotten permission before you realized that it was in your nightstand and not hidden under your pillows like usual. You had two in a bag along with the cleaner and their chargers. You had to change the location you kept it after that, not trust him to to keep his mouth shut around the other boys. That was before you two had started dating.
He tossed you a look from between your legs and wondered just how wet you could get. Another smirk spread over his stupidly attractive face, and he stood back up. His hands came to the hem of his own shirt and you watched intently as he took the baggy t-shirt off. He was a skinny thing for sure, but he had more muscle tone than you really, truly realized. As your eyes roamed the expanse of smooth skin just revealed, he took his belt off; his pants immediately fell lower on his hips. His tiny little waist made pants fit weirdly because of his leg length and so a belt was almost always necessary. The waistband of his briefs was revealed from his jeans falling and he turned smug fast. While he wanted to tease you for ogling him, he decided not to and unbuttoned his pants; they fell. Even though you had seen his cock before, buried it in your throat, seeing him before you like that was different. Before you could really appreciate it though, he was back on his knees. His fingers ran over the wet patch of your underwear and your head reeled. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around your thighs and buried his face into your covered pussy, licking through the fabric, soaking it further. You slammed your palm over your mouth to muffle the near scream you let out. It was one thing to touch yourself or use a vibrator, but having him lick you? Holy crap. Chenle had even done it over your underwear, you weren't sure you could take it bare.
"W-wait, if you do that I need to shower!" You insisted and he scoffed. You shower every night, and he really didn't care about the very slight sweat you worked up cleaning. You always smelled amazing. But you smelled so much better from your arousal than he even anticipated. Even through the fabric of your panties, you tasted amazing too.
"I'm about to make you sweat even more so what's the point?" His shameless declaration flabbergasted you. Your boyfriend ignored your protests and pulled your underwear off so fast you were worried he ripped it. You sat up quickly to look at the the discarded fabric and when you did, he reached around and unhooked your bra. He did it so easily it scared you a bit. Once that was off and you were completely naked, the embarrassment hit you.
"So pretty." He hummed, kissing you. You whined and then he let your mouth go, shoving you gently so you laid back down. His hands spread your legs back open, and your hips jumped hard when his tongue ran from the right above your slit to the bottom of your belly button. At this, his arm wrapped around your right leg, throwing it over his shoulder, and his forearm rested against your hips, holding you down. You were already embarrassingly close to cumming and didn’t know how. So much pent-up tension had hit you like a freight train it seemed.
"Ready?" He didn't wait for your answer however and his tongue buried into you. You gasped so hard you couldn't breathe for a second as the tip swirled your entrance than ran up to flick your clit. You came. He was a bit surprised when he felt your body tense like that, your head slamming back into the mattress, and you keened out a long whine. When the waves stopped you were even wetter than before, and he wanted to get more of your taste so bad. While the orgasm was strong, it hadn't taken much physical effort, so you weren't out of breath, but your legs were shaking a bit. When he noticed, he placed your other leg over his shoulder as well and dove back in. You weren't sure how he got so good at this, and maybe he really wasn't but you were just as inexperienced. The sensation was strange, and you wondered if you sucking him off felt anywhere as good as this. As he ate you out his nose bumped your still sensitive clit. Chenle used his thumbs to spread you out for him and you whined in embarrassment.
"So pretty." He murmured then shoved his tongue as far into you as he could, and it took your breath away. Your next orgasm was coming on fast, and you couldn't get enough air (or brain power) to warn him. With one more kitten lick to your clit, you fell apart again. Right as he was going to dive back in, you waved your hand to get his attention.
"I-I'll be too sensitive for a bit. Use…use your fingers." You told him when you were able to catch your breath and your legs stopped shaking. He was surprised and also proud of himself at that, and he noticed you were even more soaked.
"You're twitching." His voice was rougher than usual, and your eyes rolled back when he traced your hole with his finger.
"P-please." You begged, needing to be filled. Plus, you were used to a toy, but you were not prepared for his cock. As his finger entered you, you slammed your hand over your mouth to cover the moan. Using your own fingers never did much, they were short and not very thick, but even just one of his felt so good. Was it because it was him or your hand kink though? Who knew?
"Fuck, you're tight, sucking me in." He chuckled wiggling the digit.
"C-curl it up." You showed him with his own finger and did what you asked, feeling a rougher patch on the top of your walls.
"There?" He asked when he pressed on it specifically.
"Yes!" You gasped, he could get the right angle you never could, and he pressed it again, rubbing over it as your own fingers dug into the sheets.
"Can I add one?" He asked you moaned a general consenting note, and he did so.
"Oh, god-" You gasped, and he went to town. He loved the way every movement his fingers made caused you to twitch, your core clenching tight. Angling his hand different, he hit something at the end of your cunt and pressed it. Your breath hitched and he furrowed his brow.
"Cervix." You breathed out and he let out an 'oh'. As he fingered you, starting to thrust them some he smirked evilly, and his tongue brushed your clit and this time he could feel your cunt clench around his fingers as you came. He kept going for you to ride it out till you yiped when it got too sensitive. He pulled his fingers out and his face away, standing. Not able to meet his eyes, you held your hand over your mouth, looking away. Shooting a brief glance at him, you gasped in horror at what he showed you. His hand was soaked in your thick juices, and he looked at it in fascination. Meeting your eyes, he brings his fingers to his mouth to clean them off.
"You are going to kill me." You whispered and he laughed loudly at that.
"Can you keep going?" He asked and while you wouldn't mind just taking care of his little problem then going to bed, you needed him inside you now. You knew from your own experience you could hit a point of overstimulation where the pain burned into pleasure, and you could keep going. If he did the cardio part you could manage…probably.
"Yes, just you need to do more of the work." You told him and he nodded with a smile. You weren't out of shape, but he had way more stamina than you in every way.
Spread over the bed just catching your breath, he slipped his arms around you and helped you get higher up on the bed. When he crawled over you, you could only really make out his face from the dull light near your desk. His mouth pressed to yours instantly turning into a tongue war. Your hands met his on the waist band of his underwear and he shed the garment. Not only was he thicker than the toy, he would probably also go quite a bit deeper. Maybe once you were more used to it, he could take you from behind, but your cervix wasn't ready to get bruised.
"Tell me if it hurts too much, okay?" He whispered into your ear, and you nodded, resting a hand on the nape of his neck, and burying the other in his hair. His knee knocked your legs further apart and his hands guided your hips up and he shoved a stray pillow under. When the head of his cock hit your entrance the nervousness and excitement you felt peaked, and you focused on breathing, so you didn't clench around him too tight. It was his first time too and you both weren't sure how long he would last. Chenle let out a small gasp and moan as he started to sink his cock into your pussy and the burn got deeper as he did, making your vision swim. It hurt, sure, but it felt so good too.
"(Y/N), you feel so good." His head was thrown back as he tried to be slow, getting deeper into you inch by inch. Your walls were even tighter around his cock than his fingers, and so hot and so wet. When he finally stopped, filling you completely, you gasped for air. You thought in this position he wouldn't get as deep as he did, and you were in for quite a ride. You knew what he could do already, watching him dance, his hips were strong. His eyes were closed in concentration, eyebrows furrowed, trying not to move.
"S-sorry, just give me- a…a sec." You took steadying breaths, trying not to clench around him.
"I thought your mouth felt good." He groaned in your ear, resting his forehead on your shoulder, stroking your waist with his thumb. Remembering what you told him, he moved his hand from your thigh to your stomach and rubbed the skin under your belly button. You shivered, trying to not let your core clench around his cock too much.
"O-okay, move. Slow. Shallow." You informed him and he shifted to get into a more comfortable position then followed your instructions. He pulled back, not even a full inch, then thrusted slowly back in. A rough whine left your lips and he had to bury his fingers into the sheets to hold back. Chenle gave another shallow thrust, but just a bit faster. The head of his cock hit your cervix already and just that fact was arousing. As he kept making shallow thrusts, the burn sizzled away, and the pleasure washed over you like the tide on a beach. It grew stronger with each thrust, and you couldn't keep your walls from clenching around him. His dick was so much hotter and bigger than your toys, and you could feel his pulse through it.
"I-I need to move more." He warned you and you unwrapped your arms from around his shoulders, gripping the bedding above your head and nodded that he could continue.
"Do what you want, precious." You told him and Chenle groaned, hiking your legs up over and around his waist. His hips snapped, pulling out nearly all the way before slamming back in fully. Your breath left you; you nearly gave yourself whiplash with how hard you threw your head back.
"Fuck, (Y/N), you feel so good." He moaned through his grunts. He definitely learned how to move his hips from dancing and every time he buried his cock into your cunt his pelvis hit your sensitive clit. Black and white spots dotted your vision. Leaning over you, he pulled you into his arms, holding you so close his stomach met yours. When you gasped, and your wet cunt squeezed him tighter than before, he knew that it was the right thing to do. His stomach was pretty hard, with soft skin, the fine defining lines rubbing over your smooth tummy was almost too much. Chenle's thrusts got shallower but no less hard, even starting to lose rhythm.
"Noona, I'm close. I can come inside, right?" He moaned into your ear, his nose brushing at your throat.
"Please." You groaned and angled your hips up a bit more and fucked into you three more times before you felt his hot cum spray against your walls and into your protected womb. It was so hot, and the sensation knocked you over the edge once more and your even tighter passage helped him ride out his orgasm. When both of you were done, you felt like passing out, you were so tired. Reluctantly, he pulled away from you and out. You slipped in and out full awareness, but you felt him get off the bed and then come back. He had gotten a warm washcloth and helped clean you both off before he put his underwear back on and grabbed a pair of yours as well as a tank top. Sleepily, you let him help you get dressed and he shut the desk light off before joining you in bed and you immediately curled into him.
"Should you let your mom know you are staying the night here?" You mumbled and he groaned in realization. Your boyfriend ripped himself from you and went to get his phone. As you drifted to sleep you heard him at the door talking to his mother on the phone.
"Yeah, I ate. I'll come tomorrow afternoon. Huh? Yeah, I told her. She loves me too."
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facingthenorthwind · 9 months
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Don't get involved with Wookieepedia
We all know Wookieepedia — it’s the Star Wars wiki, and an invaluable resource for fic writers everywhere. I’m not telling you not to look at Wookieepedia, but I do need to warn you not to get involved with the community. If you do want to edit it, then never join the discord or get involved with the forums (Senate Hall). It’s a cesspit of bigotry, and you cannot change it.
I tried. Along with a very well-known and vocal user named Immi Thrax, we tried to push back against misogyny and queerphobia. We thought we succeeded. You might have seen supposed “progress” on Wook: the addition of pronouns in the infobox, the addition of an anti-discrimination policy and an apology from the male wook admins for historical abuse towards marginalised editors. We did this. We, along with a small group of queer women and nonbinary editors, badgered the admins to write that apology for months, spoon-feeding them the things they needed to address and telling them that the early piss-weak drafts were unacceptable. We demanded infobox pronouns. We demanded an anti-discrimination policy and worked with them to add a glossary. 
And then they ran us off the website.
We had a side server specifically for women and nonbinary people, with a few channels that also contained men we trusted. A woman (who was voted in as an admin after Immi) took screenshots from this private server and then posted them publicly. The screenshots were taken completely out of context and misrepresented their contents. The woman who took the screenshots deleted messages in them to make us look worse. They slandered us and put us in danger, because Immi has been targeted by dangerous corners of the internet before (which they were well aware of), and we were terrified we would be doxxed. All of the men approved of this, forced Immi to resign, and spread blatant lies about us. Wook users attacked us, and it was deemed perfectly acceptable to do so.
When I wrote the initial forum post about sexism and misogyny on the website, Master Fredcerique, one of the admins, told me that he was in fear of losing his job during 2021 because of discord screenshot leaks, and that "Safety for everyone was of utmost importance" to him, hence requesting I not provide usernames for my examples of bigotry. It is clear that Immi, myself and others in those screenshots do not count in this 'everyone'. I wonder why he wanted to protect the perpetrators of misogyny but was happy to endanger women!
As a result of this horrific breach of trust and privacy, every single queer woman and almost every nonbinary wook editor has left the site. We were too radical, and they had to destroy us. Sure, a woman did this, but I don’t think it’s an accident that a cishet woman who self-describes as a Republican in Florida forced the two loud leftist lesbians off the site. And the men approved of everything she’s done and contributed to it. One (1) man (notably not an admin) stood up for us, and he was banned for doing it. 
So don’t join wook. If you do edit, don't trust anyone. Have every single conversation about wook in public, where people can never take your words out of context. Do not participate in DMs, group chats or any wook-related servers, including the official one. Marginalised editors' very existence is a disruption to the status quo of Wookieepedia, and there is every possibility you will be seen as a threat, even if you are not initially treated as one.
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Forget-Me-Not 2
Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Loki
Summary: You return to your childhood home to put the past to rest.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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You spend the night on the couch. You don't go further than the bathroom. You can't bring yourself to check her bedroom or the one you left behind.
You go out to get your bag and change in the yellow haze glowing behind the faded curtains. You check the time. Jan is expecting you in an hour.
You emerge into the dewy morning and tramp down to ground level. You get in the car, reversing out without looking back at the dingy house. The final farewell can't come soon enough for the slanted walls.
Jan is out in the yard, hammering a pineboard as you drive down his lot. His white hair curls with the sweat beading on his skin. He stills the hammer and wipes his forehead as you pull up. 
You get out as he greets you in the way all the villagers do. A manufactured friendliness that cannot erase their true judgement. They smile in face just as easily as the mutter your name under their breath. You mother harboured little good will in Hammer Ford and blood is sacred here.
“Sorry to hear,” he says.
“Matter of time,” you shrug dismissively.
“Isn't no way to come home,” he shakes his head and coughs into his fist, “walnut,” he points the hammer over his shoulder, “like ya said.”
Walnut, like the dining table. Where she sat and drank herself into that box. You nod and follow him over to the casket. The hinges are brass and the finish is rough. What does it matter? It's just going into the dirt.
“Got cash,” you say. Jan doesn't deal with the bank, everyone knows that. Funny the little things that stick with you.
“Thanks,” he accepts the bills as you count them out. So much for a rainy day. The sun shine bright as if mocking the grin affair beneath its watch. “I'll have it taken down to Norn's.”
“Yep,” you agree, “she's there.”
You head out without further niceties. Neither of you uphold those. Better to say what you mean and nothing else.
You get to the property line and idle. You turn away from the woods. You're not ready to go back yet. 
You stop by the church first. Father Oswald sits with you to discuss the ceremony. You'll say a few words at the grave site. You don't think anyone would come to a wake. You don't want them to.
You set off again, still reluctant to retrace your steps. You drive to the spare core of the village and park outside the library. You cross the street and peer in through the window of the bakery. It wasn't there when you left.
You venture inside and peruse the sweets behind the glass. You order a black coffee and a cinnamon bun. You pay the woman behind the counter, vaguely familiar. You're certain she was a few years behind you at school.
You sit and pick at the glazed dough. You don't have much of an appetite. You don't feel much of anything. You're just wading through, try not to get lost in the tide.
You sip the coffee. Bold but rich. Not bad. Better than the instant powder gone stale in your mother's cupboard.
The door opens and shuts, several times over as you stare at the table. The city taught you apathy. You don't let the noise bother you.
The chair across from you slides out and a figure plants themselves on the seat. You raise your head, your vision narrowing to make sense of their features. You turn your head to gaze out the window as Loki blows over the top of a mug. 
You slide out your phone, a defence mechanism. Still no reception. You put it down and keep your attention diverted. He clears his throat and taps his toe next to yours.
“You know, I do have an important matter to discuss with you,” he says.
You don't react. You know that's what he wants. That's why he showed up the night before. He undoubtedly insisted on being his clan’s representative.
“You've sent your condolences.”
“Mm, yes, but that isn't what I mean,” he traces his finger up the handle of his mug. “The house.”
You lower your brows and keep your eyes beyond the window. The village moves slow as ever. Not like the endless flow of the city streets. There's no where to hide here.
“My father has an offer. The property has value.”
You check your cup, almost empty. You swig the last of it. You stand and gather the cup and unfinished dessert. You put the porcelain on the counter and toss the cinnamon bun on your way out.
The door doesn't close behind you. He's following you. Your heartbeat piques. In an instant, you're hurled into the past. You're running through broken twigs as he snickers behind you. You ball your hands as your breath hitches.
You cross the street without looking, only just dodging a bumper. You go to your car, fumbling with your keys. Before you can stick them in the slot, there's a snare around your arm.
You spin and shove Loki off of you, biting down on a shriek. You glare at him and point the key at his chin.
“Not interested.”
“My father will give you more than the bank,” he counters. 
“Don't care.”
He sniffs and quorks his head, “is this because I never called?”
You choke on a scoff. You turn and ram the keys in the slot and twist. You open the door as you step around it. The edge hits him as you swing into the driver’s seat.
“The house is worthless. The bank will give you pennies for the land.”
“Go tell your daddy you failed,” you sneer and yank the door shut, hitting the lock with your fist.
You start the engine without a glance in his direction. You pull put as he barely avoids getting his toes run over. Just as ever, this village belongs to the Odinsons. They won't have to pay the bank much to get what they want but you will never sign your name next to theirs.
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