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beforeimdeceased · 5 months

Note

I’m actually in LOVE with crybaby!!! It’s so good😫😫😫

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT8, FINAL PART!

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you weren’t you anymore.

a/n: it’s so over…thank you all for the love you’ve shown crybaby! i’m happy to say i’m actually proud of something i’ve written, for the first time in a long time. thank you for reading and for all your comments and support! tags: @skylerwhitwyo

you’re a crisis of my faith

masterlist.

you weren’t you anymore. you weren’t you when abby opened the door to find you and ellie tangled together in an illicit affair. you weren’t you when you looked into her eyes, saw the pain and agony, and asked her if she didn’t mind closing the door. that you were busy doing something.

you weren’t you because you didn’t chase after her when she left. because you didn’t apologize, you just went on as you were. forgetting. you went on forgetting all the way home in her car. melting the pain away, filling the silence with meaningless conversation she was too upset to engage in. knuckles white while she gripped the steering wheel.

you’re not yourself.

at first it was fun to let go with ellie. she liked that you didn’t care anymore. that you could joke around with each other. that she didn’t have to walk on eggshells with you. or atleast, that’s how she felt. until she was missing you on tour one night.

alone in a bar, waiting for dina and jesse, she came across someone that looked as doe eyed as you used to be. her heart started to sink when she skipped over.

another bar, years ago. when you’d caught her after another show in which she’d made a mistake. you came to her with flowers from a fan and a note. “hey ellie this is—“

“fuck i’m such a fucking idiot.” she blurts. you sigh, anticipating a string of curses and insults, but she sees the note and the flowers. “what’s this?”

“it’s a note from a fan, she didn’t get to catch you before you ran off.”

she holds her hand out and you place the piece of paper in it. standing as you hold the flowers. watching her read it.

this is the first concert i’ve been to in a while and i just want to say thank you so much. i struggle a lot with social anxiety and big crowds and stuff but i really wanted to see you. i’ve been a fan since i found your guy’s cover of take on me on soundcloud and it struck a deep chord within me. you’re amazing, you know that, but i just wanted to tell you that. just in case you forget.

— your biggest fan

you hand her the flowers, pretending not to see her tears. pretending not to feel teary eyed yourself. because you’d never seen her sad cry. you’ve seen her angry cry plenty of times, but never fix her face into a frown and let the strains of tears overflow. you look away as sadness fills the space between you.

“you’re ellie williams right?” the doe eyed girl brings her back to the present. she nods. “in the flesh.”

it only took a couple drinks and ellie’s charms to lure her away from the crowded area. nestled in the corner of the bar, ellie latching her mouth onto the girls neck. imagining your body in place of hers. pretending her moans were yours. wishing that she was you.

she’d felt dirty after she finished, a feeling that was entirely new to her. you both weren’t obligated to only be with each other after that night in the bathroom, but she couldn’t get you out of her mind. maybe it was because the girl reminded her of you? then she remembered that you weren’t like that anymore. that you had completely changed.

when tour ended and the group returned home, you took it upon yourself to throw a party. the old you would have gone for a small get together at your house, with the three of them and donuts, but the new you was leaning towards some club soirée.

you were excited to show everyone more of the new you. a new style to match your new personality. a new way of living to replace your old one. completely killing the girl you’d been before.

you met them at dina and jesse’s place, ensuring you’d be there the second they got off the tour bus. excitedly rushing over to give them a hug, and ellie an awkward handshake. they look you up and down, taking in your changed appearance with concern. “new clothes?” jesse speaks up.

“new me.” you shrug, helping them carry their bags up.

when everything is settled in, they all grab a seat on the couch. you slump into their loveseat, sighing. “so there’s this party...”

dina shakes her head. “no no absolutely not. i love you, but god we’re exhausted. no party tonight.”

“it’s tomorrow. it’s your welcome back party.” the corner of your mouth twitches. “i want to sleep for atleast a week.” dina huffs. “i need to go shower right now actually.” she gets up, placing a kiss on your forehead when she passes by. jesse does the same, following behind her.

you don’t take offense to it. this might’ve hurt you a little bit in the past, feeling stupid for planning a party when it’d make sense that they want to rest. now, you didn’t care. you could party by yourself. you could party with ellie.

you look over at her, and she looks like a wounded stray. like she’s guilty of something she didn’t do. you get up and join her in place of the lovebirds. a wide smile on your face. “are you gonna come to the party?”

she breathes. “maybe. i don’t know yet.”

it’s silent for a beat. you pull out your phone and she remembers the day she took it. the agony in your voice when you were asking for it back. the day she made you cry. she shakes away the thought.

“how about we play a game?”

the peace you were experiencing in the moment felt foreign. it’s been years since you had a chance to have quality time with ellie. without her ruining it, ofcourse. it was almost like those first few weeks back when you met. playing all the board games lodged in the bookshelf of jesse’s parent’s place. before him and dina had moved in together.

these were those very same games. monopoly, sorry, connect four, and more. you settled on connect floor, crisscrossing your legs on the floor. she joins you, getting comfortable.

“i’ll keep score!” you offer, going to your phone’s notes. before you can do much about it, you realize that it’s shutting off because the battery is low. you lodge it into your back pocket and shrug, grabbing an empty envelope off of the couples counter. “my phones dead, i’ll just write it.”

then you’re making a t chart, and ellie feels as if all the air is being kicked out of her lungs. your handwriting is the same as the one that was on that letter.

but that can’t be true, right? this is the same fan who’s been writing her for years. this is handwriting that’s been on signs held up at shows. the handwriting on a small cluster of loyal groupie’s handmade tshirts.

but surely she’d have noticed this before. you’d written in front of her before, right? memories were fuzzily being put back together in the moment. your unfiltered and unconditional love for her. your kindness that you’d extended even when she was mean to you. even when she was cruel.

even when you’d had enough of the tear filled nights and decided you needed time away. you still asked how ellie was, she could hear it on the other side of the fucking phone. when you were talking to dina and jesse. when you were communicating love through them to her.

you called all those rehab centers to get her help, that’s how jesse had found one so fast. you left her meds on the table for her the next morning, not dina. it was your voice telling her she’d had enough. it was you, being brave enough to take her verbal lashings because you knew if she didn’t take it out on you, she would take it out on herself.

it was you, it was always you. she was remembering now.

“ellie?”

you look away from the paper to find her crying. crying because the you that was always there, had slipped between her nimble fingers. had melted into the cracks of hatred. she was crying because she realized why she was feeling out of sorts. she hadn’t gotten a letter this week.

a letter from—well, you.

she wanted to yell at you. to scream at you. to call you stupid for staying around when you know how she is. she wanted to curse herself for getting you to let your guard down with a fake apology, and fucking it up all over again. for pushing you past your breaking point.

“i don’t wanna play anymore.” she felt disgusting. she felt like she was going to be sick. “ellie what’s the matter—“

she’s hyperventilating now, watching as you slowly slide towards her. extending your arms while you try to catch her in a hug. she thought back to the days she called you useless. called you pathetic. called you a crybaby.

you hold her, and it’s the first time she’s ever truly felt held. the first time she’s in your arms and she’s sober. the first time she’s in your arms and she feels sorry. truly, terribly sorry.

you pull her in closer to you, turning her onto her side so you can rub your thumb across her cheek. wiping some of her tears away. she begins to cry even harder, but you don’t push her away. even when your pants are soaked and snotty. you let her lay there, and cry into you.

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seeingivy · 5 months

Text

lover

satoru gojo x f!reader

you've loved him three summers, now you want them all

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

content: FLUFF. good old sweet wedding vibes, you being an idiot, satoru being a bigger one and making dirty jokes constantly, and just being the best lovers in general

an: I named nanami's wife daisy after my sweet @daisynik7 who I always subconsciously associate with nanami now. please make sure to check out her work + support her bc she's the sweetest person to ever person!

Nanami Kento is made for loving. And you only realize it now, minutes away from his beautiful bride walking down the aisle, that he always has been.

“Y/N!”

You’re thrown out of your thoughts to see your lover looking at you just past Nanami’s shoulder, hands erratically shaking in the air as he beckons for you to walk over. You give him a smile, handing your bouquet to Shoko, before you walk over.

Satoru’s quick to lace his hand around your waist, a soft kiss being pressed to your temple, as you look at Megumi and Yuuji in front of you two, horribly failing to put their boutonnieres on.

“Hi boys. Satoru.” you state, leaning into Satoru’s touch. He’s rubbing small circles into your back as he smiles down at you, the soft aura of warmth in the air present in his constant touches.

“Hi Y/N. We-this shit is so hard.” Yuuji states, exasperated as he fumbles with the pins in his hands.

Megumi holds the pins and the flowers up into the air, his nimble hands twisting both in his fingers.

“You’d think this type of stuff is self-explanatory, but it’s starting to feel more like rocket science.” Megumi grumbles.

You fight the urge to laugh as the two of them grow more frustrated with the premise, trying their best to avoid having Nanami come over and put them on himself.

“Okay, how about you both hand me those before one of you stabs each other with the pins?”

You hold your hands out, softly fixing the flowers to Yuuji’s coat jacket, and then Megumi’s, before you pull back and admire both of them in full. Yuuji’s pink hair has been brushed down to perfection and Megumi’s wearing that expensive cologne that Satoru bought him for his birthday last year - the two of them the picture perfect groomsmen. Fitting perfectly in, with that soft love that’s blooming in the room.

You reach forward, cupping the sides of both of their cheeks, as you fight the emotions, that overwhelming, sickly sweet feeling that’s overflowing when you look at them.

“You both look very handsome.” you murmur, rubbing your thumbs on the softness of both of their cheeks as you watch the pink flush rise on both of their necks.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Megumi murmurs, while Yuuji all but wraps his arms around you.

The two of them shuffle away - more like Megumi being dragged by the wrist to go talk to Nanami with Yuuji - leaving you and Satoru standing slightly to the left of the altar. You turn to him, your hands instinctively reaching for his suit, fixing the little flowers pinned to his chest and his pink tie. He brings his hands up, crushing yours in his own, and stopping you in pursuit.

“Y/N.” he states, the tone in his voice teasing.

“What?”

“You’re already losing your bet, sweetheart. I saw those tears in your eyes when you were looking at Megumi and Yuuji.”

A stupid bet the two of you had made, since Satoru’s so convinced that you won’t even last five minutes when the ceremony starts. You roll your eyes, lightly shoving him, before you turn around to look at them.

Satoru’s quick to pull you flesh against his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder as you both watch. His soft breaths are enough to tickle your exposed skin, his warmth enveloping yours. Megumi and Yuuji are smiling brightly, laughing with Nanami right at the center of the altar.

They’re made for love too. Overflowing with it even.

“They’re sweet boys, Satoru. I-I’ve seen them in so many compromising situations. Cradling each other’s bloodied bodies, blank faces when they thought they lost each other, they-”

The wave of emotion is back in full flesh, this time tinged with the harshest bit of regret. At the three of them, so animated, when you’ve never seen them like this before. That they don’t get to be like this all the time. That when tomorrow comes, the only difference will be that Nanami will put his life on the line, but this time with a silver band encased around his finger.

A harsher loss if she ever has to lose him.

“Shh. I know, sweetheart. It’s-”

“I’m happy for them. For Kento. It’s nice to be in a room like this, being suffocated by the warmth of love.”

“I think that’s actually just me putting my entire body weight on you.”

You scoff, turning around as you place your hands flat on his chest. He’s pulling you closer to him, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek as you jokingly protest.

“Satoru.”

“You love it. Though, if you’re interested in me putting my weight on you in other ways, if you know what I mean, we can-”

“You dog. That didn’t even make any sense. And we’re at a wedding.” you scorn.

“Well, it obviously made sense if you’re scolding me for it.”

“Shut up, you’re so-”

There’s a soft clinking of the bell, indicating that they’re about to start the reception, that Nanami’s soon to be wife is about to stroll down the aisle any second. You turn back, giving Satoru a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek, before you stroll back to the other side.

And relish in the fact that Satoru has the marks of love on his face, that Yuuji and Megumi seem to glance at each other every time the officiant makes a comment about true love, and that Nanami Kento is about to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves most.

You lose the bet at the two minute mark. When Nanami erupts into a fit of his own smiley tears, when he takes his hand in hers for the first time. At getting to spend forever, with his Daisy in the meadow.

The question, later on, catches you off guard.

“Whose that?”

You turn your head, to where Amelia - one of Nanami’s childhood best friends - is pointing, the look on her face filled with curiosity.

“Who are you talking about, Amy?”

“Him. The tall one, with the white hair and blue eyes.”

You swallow hard, biting the side of your cheek, as you smile.

“Satoru. Satoru Gojo. He was one of Nanami’s groomsmen.”

“Is he single?”

Your suspicions, the ones you’ve held from the combined bachelor and bachelorette party, are confirmed. That Amelia, like many others met you before, wants him.

It’s not the first time it’s happened. Satoru, naturally, has a gravitating sense to him. It’s in the way he stands, the way he smiles and talks that he can’t help but catch people’s attention. And you can’t even blame him for it, because it’s the thing that drew you to him in the first place. That magnetic force about him.

Like you’ve manifested him solely by thinking about him, he’s suddenly right at your side, his hand sliding around your shoulder.

“I saved you a seat at the table. I’ll just be in the bathroom, okay?”

“Okay, love. Sure.” you respond, watching the embarrassed flush spread across Amelia’s cheeks. You give her a warm smile, so as to curb her feelings, as Satoru leans closer to whisper into your ear.

“Blink twice if you’re going to meet me in there.”

You roll your eyes, before clenching them tightly shut and giving him his answer.

“You’re no fun, Y/N L/N.” he groans, pressing a kiss to your cheek before running off to the other side.

You turn back to Amelia, as she all but starts word vomiting.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything and I didn’t even know that you two were-”

“That’s okay, Amy. How could you have known?”

She somewhat deflates, cheeks still bright pink, as she mumbles.

“I really am sorry. I just figured since he wasn’t wearing a ring or anything, you know?”

“Of course. I’m really not mad, please don’t feel embarrassed.”

The two of you link your arms together, as you start strolling towards the table. You take a second to admire the soft fabric of the dresses you’re wearing, at the matching little bracelets secured around your wrists.

“How long have you been dating?”

“It’s been three years.” you state, your affection for him glowing in your chest.

“Are you guys engaged?”

And you’re not sure why, but every fiber in your being is begging you to say yes.

“No.”

“Well, sometime soon. God knows, that’ll be you up there sometime soon.” she states, lightly squeezing your hands before she splits and walks towards her own table.

You turn your head towards the door, to find Satoru excitedly wrapping his arms around Ijichi, that you realize it.

That Nanami Kento is made up of love. That Megumi and Yuuji and Shoko and Nobara and everyone around you always has been.

That most of all, Satoru Gojo was made for loving. And it’s your deepest, sincerest wish that he’s made for loving you.

For the rest of your life.

Almost six hours later, and deep into the night, you and Satoru are both lugging an extreme amount of weight to your front door.

It turns out that Megumi Fushiguro and Yuuji Itadori can not hold their drink for the life of them. Which means that you and Satoru have to drag the two of them home, so they don’t do something embarrassing or commit an accidental murder on the way home.

“Stand there. I’ll come get him in a second.”

Megumi leans a majority of his weight on you, the sweet wine smell hanging on his breath as you watch Satoru lead Yuuji to the living room.

“Satoru. I told you that you forgot to turn the Christmas lights off.” you groan, only now noticing the little golden lights twinkling in the dark of your apartment.

“Chrr-istmas? It’s Jann-uary.” Megumi slurs, slightly shifting on his weight.

Satoru’s quick to catch him before he stumbles, signaling for you to let him go, as you head to the kitchen.

“Well, this is our place, Megumi. If you were so morally opposed to our decorations, maybe you should have stayed sober enough to go home.” Satoru adds, both Megumi and Yuuji dazed off on your couch.

You set the two glasses of water and Baby Aspirins on the table, ruffling their hair, before you shuffle into your shared bedroom with Satoru following. You’re both quick to help each other, you unpinning Satoru’s boutonniere while he attends to taking off your heels, before you both stumble into the bathroom together.

“Satoru.”

“Hm, sweet?”

“Do you remember Amy? Amelia?” you ask.

He pauses for a second, rolling over the thought, before he leans against the counter and turns to you. He’s holding your toothbrush in his hand, already set with the paste, before reaching for his own.

“No. Who’s that?”

“She’s one of Nanami’s friends. You met her at the bachelor/bachelorette party.”

“What’s she look like?”

“Short, long red hair and a lot of freckles?”

“Hm. Doesn’t ring a bell. Why do you ask?”

“Oh. She just thought you were cute. Was asking me if you were single.”

There’s a wide smirk spreading across his face, as he wraps his arms around your waist and makes the motions to tickle you.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re too cute! Are you jealous?”

“No.” you grumble, cheeks turning hot at the premise.

“Yes, you are.”

“How could I be jealous? Are you forgetting what we did in the bathroom?”

“Aw, you’re so possessive, princess. It’s so sweet.” he adds, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder, as he makes the moves to start removing your makeup.

Satoru’s love language is acts of service, down to his bones. Meaning that any small task you could do for yourself - like taking your shoes off, making your breakfast - it was something that Satoru always beat you to doing.

But his favorite? Taking off your makeup, massaging your little serums into your skin, and pressing a kiss to the top of your head before the two of you go to bed.

“You’re the only one for me, silly girl.”

“I know that. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“Oh?” he asks, fully laughing as you shove him.

“Well, she did say another thing. That got me thinking.”

He sets down the little bottle of wipes, securing his hands around your waist as he lifts you to sit on the counter. He stands in the little space between your legs, squeezing the sides of your waist as he patiently waits for you to talk.

“Well, she asked me if we were engaged? And I was just kind of thinking about….why we weren’t.”

“Oh.”

Satoru’s face is devoid of any emotion, as you make your best efforts to backtrack.

“I-I’m not saying that as an insult to you! I just mean that….maybe I realized that I want to be with you forever. And I’ve always known that, but I really want it. Right now. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after, but I know that if something did happen, I’d hate to know we never got to cross that.”

You lock your fingers in with his, rubbing your fingers into his calloused skin as the admission, so vulnerable it makes your chest hollow out.

“You just mean the world to me, Satoru. I want everyone to know it, from the little metal band that goes right here.” you murmur, lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a kiss right into the little divot of his ring finger.

It’s at this moment that Satoru Gojo doesn’t know what to do. And he fully curses that bitch Amelia, who he can’t even fucking remember mind you, for putting this stupid thought into your head.

For throwing a wrench into his plans.

Because in earnest, Satoru Gojo would be crazy not to marry you. Not when he loves you so much, when you fill every empty part of him so tenderly with love that he can’t even remember the pain of that loss at all.

So much so, that he’s been planning out the perfect proposal for months. Just for you, here and now, to suggest it to him in your shitty bathroom.

“You don’t have to say anything, Satoru. I know marriage is a big thing to think about. We can talk about it another day.”

He watches you smile at him, so genuine and kind, before you press a kiss and pad out the room to change out of your dress. And the entire moment makes his heart sting.

That you think for a second that he has to consider whether or not he wants to marry you. That it doesn’t even hurt you, that you’re willing to wait for when he’s ready. That you think he isn’t dying to call you yours, to wear a ring proudly on his finger and tell any living, breathing soul that you’re his.

The following morning, he recounts the situation to a very hungover Megumi and Yuuji. And the two of them are half there, which adds up to one fully functional brain, in Satoru’s eyes.

“Shit. So what did you say?” Megumi asks.

“Nothing? I’ve been planning out this stupid proposal for weeks, I couldn’t just do it then and there!”

“You said nothing? She probably feels like shit right now.” Megumi adds, rather unhelpfully.

“Do you have a ring?” Yuuji asks.

Satoru fishes around in his pocket for that light green, velvety box before handing it to Yuuji. He doesn’t miss the way their eyes go wide, the soft smiles on their face, as they admire the ring.

One Satoru took six months to pick out and then had to end up custom designing. So that it could be perfect for you.

“I’m so happy for you, Gojo-sensei. You’re made for each other.” Yuuji adds, excitedly smiling at him as Satoru takes the box back.

He admires the little glimmering gem, warmth pooling in his own chest, as he tucks it safely back into his pocket when you trudge out of the bedroom. You’re half asleep still - one of Satoru’s favorite sights - as you groan and reach for the warm cup of coffee that Satoru had already prepared for you.

“Morning. How are your heads?”

“Pounding.” Megumi groans, bringing his fingers up to his temples as Yuuji slides him a glass of water.

“We’ll make breakfast, yeah?”

You and Satoru move to make the two of them eggs, giving each other soft smiles as you hear the two of them murmur behind your back.

“Hey, Satoru?”

“Yes, princess?”

“About last night…”

Satoru freezes up, giving Megumi and Yuuji a look, as they both all but end their conversation and immediately start eavesdropping.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I-I wasn’t trying to pressure you into something.”

“You didn’t-”

“I did. I guess I just felt weird when Amy brought it up and all, especially since we were at the wedding. But we don’t have anything to prove to anyone and you know, marriage is a social construct anyways, so…”

Satoru can tell very quickly that you’re trying to backtrack from the tone in your voice. That it’s so dejected, that you can’t even force yourself to say the words like you mean them.

"What we have, right now, means the world to me. Your heart has been borrowed and mine's been pretty much blue ever since I was able to know what that meant, but it hasn't been for so long. And that's really all that matters to me, Satoru. Really. That we get to stay together, like this."

And that stupid feeling in him twinges again. That you want nothing more to be together, to be married, but you’d put it aside to keep him in your life if you had to. That you’re more than willing to do anything for him, that you think he won’t move mountains to give you anything you want.

Especially this thing. This thing that he’s wanted since the moment he met you.

You neatly plate the eggs onto the dishes, before sliding them in front of Megumi and Yuuji and giving them bright smiles.

“I’m going to go get ready for work. I’ll see you guys later, yeah?”

“I love you.” Satoru adds, rather urgently.

And when you soften, give him your tender smile, Satoru knows that he has to do this sooner than later. In fact, when you arrive home from work.

“I love you too, Satoru.”

You arrive home, particularly sore and bloodied, to find Satoru waiting for you in the kitchen. A horrible habit of his, coupled with his insomnia, means that he always waits up for you, when you’re out on a mission.

Satoru’s quick to move towards you, the metallic smell of blood in the air, as he reaches forwards, his anxious hands running across your skin and feeling for any cuts and bruises.

“Y/N.” he murmurs, nearly pleading as his eyes go wide.

“I saw Shoko before I got here. It’s all minor, I’m just a little sore.”

Satoru’s hands are all but trembling as he wraps his hands around your face, trying his best to ignore that metallic taste of blood on your lips and focus more on the sweet, vanilla taste of your chapstick. He’s breathing hard as he rests his forehead against yours and you absentmindedly bring your hands up to his chest.

“Hi Satoru.” you whisper.

“Hi Y/N.”

“I’m okay.”

“I know you are. It just never gets easier seeing you like this. You getting a paper cut is basically the end of the world for me.”

You giggle, earning a soft smile from him, as he tilts your face slightly up. You press a kiss to the palm of his hand, before deflating directly into his arms and wrapping yourself in his embrace. It’s only then that you notice the lit candles on the dinner table and the smallest bouquet of pink flowers.

“What’s the occasion?”

“You. You and me specifically.”

You look up, giving him a confused look. And then he’s holding a little green box in his hand, flicking it open and turning it towards you.

You immediately feel the tears well in your eyes, the shining engagement ring glimmering in the box.

“Satoru.” you whisper.

“You kill me, you know that?”

You swallow hard, looking at his blue eyes as he pulls you closer to him, his hands secure around your waist.

“You really think I don’t want to marry you? I’ve been waiting for the fucking day since I met you, sweetheart.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been trying to plan it out. For months. For basically the past year. And-and it’s so hard when I want every second of it to be perfect. To be a testament to us and-”

You bring your hand up, the tears freely flowing from your eyes, as you rub your thumbs into the softness of his skin.

“You’re so ridiculous. Anything would have been perfect. It’s you.”

The softness in his tone, your words, are enough to bring the tears to Satoru’s eyes, as he quickly whips out his phone and hands you it. It’s open on a photo album, filled with pictures of you and Satoru. Specifically, Satoru holding up the little ring box with you in the peripheral, unbeknownst to you.

“Satoru.”

“I’ve been taking pictures of you. And the ring for like the past six months. It’s been under your nose the entire time.”

“Oh my god. You’re so fucking stupid, Gojo.” you respond, laughing as you shove him.

He’s leaning against you, your temples pressed together as you look at all the pictures. At his glittering smile, in each and every one of them.

“I hope you know that I’ll always want to be with you, married or not. After everything that's happened, after everything we've been through...I…I just want to be where you are. I want to go where you go and I…I want us to be this close forever.” he murmurs.

He takes the ring box back from your hands, carefully plucking the little ring from the plush, before holding it out in front of you.

“Will you marry me?”

Satoru Gojo is a lover. And you only realize it now, when it’s pouring out of him, in that sweet smile and that honey sweet tone, that he’s always been made for loving you. And you, for him.

“Of course, I will.”

He slides the little band onto your finger, quickly lifting your hand to press a kiss to it, before wrapping his arms around you. And pressing his plush lips against yours, warm and soft and so deeply fulfilling that it makes every bone in your body ache.

He pulls back, resting his forehead against yours, as he laughs.

“Can we consummate our engagement?”

“That’s not a thing, dumbass.” you deadpan.

“I’ll make it a thing.” he responds, all but dragging you by the wrist into the room with him.

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greatooglymooglyyy · 1 month

Text

Lovers and Friends I (M.S.)

summary: when y/n's boyfriend invites her out to a dinner a week before her birthday, the last thing she's expecting is to get broken up with. but little does she know, it opens a window for her bestfriend, matt, to tell her what he's been trying to for years; that he's hopelessly in love with her. headed off to vegas for her dream music festival, matt (and the rest of their crew) try to find a way to open her eyes to what she's been blind to for years... that it's been them all along.

executive produced & cowritten by sienna @rootbeerworshiper

contains: brokenhearted reader, y/n getting cheated on, break up emotions, pining, cussing, fluff

series masterlist

Y/N’s POV

“He said it’s a surprise.” I giggle, applying a thin layer of cream blush to my upper cheeks. “Do you think he’ll take me to that one Italian place I like?”

Matt sighs, constantly trying to be supportive of my many thoughts. “Hopefully. He didn’t say anything about what you should wear or something?”

I shake my head, a grin still pushing my lips apart. “No, isn’t that romantic? Our anniversary is coming up soon maybe it has something to do with that”

I've always been a huge romantic. Simple gestures and fun dates always brought me joy I couldn't find elsewhere. So it’s extra exciting that Asher planned out a night for us since that’s usually not his thing.

“Or,” Matt offers, his voice a bit muffled from the positioning of his phone. “he’s trying to make up for being a fucking idiot and forgetting your birthday.”

I roll my eyes, choosing to ignore Matt’s distaste for my boyfriend. “He didn’t forget. He’s just a busy guy.”

Matt makes a small sound of disagreement and I sigh and let it go. If almost a year of dating hasn’t softened up his stance on Asher, then nothing will.

After applying my final coat of setting spray, I step back from the camera so Matt can see my whole face and outfit. “How do I look?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, just stares through the phone with a small smile. “You look exactly like you always do.”

“Bummy?”

“Beautiful.”

*************************************

“Oh. Nobu.” I say, trying not to let the disappointment show on my face as Asher whips into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Yeah. You don’t mind, right? You know how much I love their sushi rolls.” He says as he joins the queue for a valet.

“Of course not,” I say, keeping my voice chipper even as my stomach turns over. Seafood alone is already a no-go for me and that’s before you add raw fish to the mix. But, I don’t want to seem unappreciative so I suck it up, adjusting my dress and stepping out of the car when it is our turn.

Asher pulls his hand back before hanging his keys to the valet, giving them a cold stare. “Not a scratch on the Lexus.”

I roll my eyes, hating how rude he always is about his precious car, and take his arm so he can lead us into the restaurant. He strolls up to the hostess stand and asks for someone by name and we are seated almost immediately.

Asher orders for the both of us without looking at the menu and I make a mental note that I’ll be ordering Mcdonald’s as soon as I get home.

“So,” He starts and I sit up straighter, anticipation heating my face. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

I lean forward, unable to stop bouncing my leg in excitement. “Yeah?”

“Look. I think we should break up.” He says, reaching out and taking a leisurely sip from his water. Barely even looking at me as my face drops the once happy expression.

A waiter comes around and sets down our plates in front of us, clearly trying to pretend he didn’t overhear but I’m too frozen to care. He scurries away, shooting me a sympathetic glance over his shoulder.

I stare at Asher and blink rapidly, sure that I must have heard him wrong. “What?”

“It’s not you.” He says calmly. “It’s me. This is just not working for me.”

“I don’t understand. What’s not working?” I ask, my voice getting a bit frantic. “And you decided to bring me out to dinner for this? Why?”

Asher looks around the restaurant making sure I’m not drawing too much attention. “ Honestly, I thought doing it in public would be less of a scene.”

Less of a scene. Like breaking up with me for no reason wasn’t a scene in itself.

I scoff, sitting back in disbelief. “Stop bullshitting me! There has to be more. Is there…is there someone else?” My lips quiver slightly but I bite down on it, smudging the lipstick I spent forever applying.

He breathes deep as if all of this is a big inconvenience. As if I’m an inconvenience. “Fine. You want honesty? I’m in love with Olivia.”

As soon as he says it, it’s like a Lego snapping into place. The late night with his brand new “protegè”, the texts that went unanswered for hours when they were together, the dozens of times he insisted he could never look at her like that.

Asher watches me like I’m a caged animal about to strike for a long moment before he speaks again. “Y/N, I never meant to hurt you.”

And despite everything, despite the situation and the ache growing in my chest, the absurdity of his words strike me as funny. Before I can help myself, I’ve burst into laughter, deep and genuine.

Asher’s face goes from faux sympathy to puzzlement to anger in a few seconds flat and he stands swiftly, grabbing his wallet and throwing a few bills on the table.

My laughter finally dies down as I watch him leave through the glass windows. I make no move to follow him out, instead sitting in wonder as onlookers throw me curious stares. There’s no way I’ve been this blind and stupid. I feel like I’ve woken up in the Twilight Zone.

It’s funny that I was that oblivious but It’s also impossible to not be hurt by it. The one time he treated me like a proper girlfriend was to tell me he’s done with me.

I must sit there for way longer than necessary because a waiter comes and asks me if he can clear the plates. Embarrassed now, I stand and thank him, rushing out the door and pulling out my phone.

My chest hurts, like It’s being weighed down by something invisible. All this time. All this time this was happening and my head was too far up in the clouds to notice, telling my best friend about every cute thing he did… every cute thing he’ll probably do for Olivia.

I hadn’t even noticed it had started to rain but I’m glad for it as I head down the sidewalk, the sadness finally catching up to me. Sobbing, I find the contact of the boy I know will drop everything to show up for me; my mascara and tears mixing with rainwater as Matt answers my call after the first ring.

************************************

Matt’s POV

“I’m just saying,” Nick starts, heading around the table to grab a drink from the fridge. “Your crush is getting a little pathetic.”

I roll my eyes and lean back against my chair. “What do you want me to do? She’s our best friend.”

“No,” Nate cuts in, shaking his head and gesturing at the rest of the group. “She’s one of our best friends. She’s the girl you’ve been obsessed with for years.”

“Okay, chill. Obsessed is crazy.” I say quickly to defend myself.

“Not that crazy,” Chris says, apparently deciding to get in on the ‘shit on Matt’ train. “Is Y/N coming?” He mocks.

“Do you think Y/N would like this shirt?” Nick joins in with a laugh.

“Yeah, kid. They got you there.”

“You too, Madi?” I ask, emphasizing my betrayal. She shrugs, muttering a quiet ‘just saying.”

“I mean it really doesn’t matter anyway. She’s in a relationship.” I say, doing the best I can to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “And she’s happy. Not like I could tell her now.”

“Happy is a stretch, but okay,” Nick mutters under his breath but before I can ask what he means, my phone goes off.

I look down, seeing Y/N’s picture, and smile before answering, despite my hint of confusion. “Hey. You home already?”

“Matt…” She starts, her voice cracking and I’m on my feet before she can say another word.

“Where are you?”

*************************************

When we pull back into the garage, I turn off the car and look over at her, studying her profile. She’s been quiet since I picked her up a block from the restaurant, shaking from the cold. She had been absolutely hysterical, giving me the story through her tears. But once I wrapped my jacket around her, she'd calmed down and had spent the drive staring blankly out the window.

“I know this is a stupid question but are you okay?” I ask softly, brushing a thumb over her freezing-cold hand. The last thing I wanted to do was to treat her as if she'd break at any second, she was strong—But it’s hard to ignore how vulnerable she looks sitting next to me.

She nods and lets out a heavy sigh. I take that as a sign she doesn’t want to talk about it yet. But when I go to get out of the car, she stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you for coming to get me, Matt.”

The sincerity in her tone was enough to have me in shambles, someone hurt her and all I can do is deal with the aftermath

I reach up and place a hand over hers, giving her a reassuring smile despite how much my heart hurts for her. “Anytime. Anywhere. Any place.”

We walk into the house and the room falls silent as everyone takes in Y/N’s rattled appearance, preparing to walk on eggshells. But of course, Chris’ tactless ass is the first to speak.

“He left her in the fucking rain?” He exclaims, standing up and walking towards us but Y/N doesn’t respond, her teeth still sinking into her bottom lip. She just wraps my jacket tighter around herself, still trembling slightly from the harsh weather.

“C’mon,” I say softly, placing a hand on the small of her back and ushering her up the stairs to Nick’s room so she can take a shower and get comfortable. She has a stash of clothes there from the countless sleepovers they’ve had.

When she’s settled and I hear the water start to run, I head back down the stairs, anger flooding my body.

“Is she okay?” Nick asks, peering around me to make sure she’s not following me down.

I shake my head, pacing back and forth from the table to the couch. “That fucking piece of shit-”

“What happened? Did they break up?” Madi asks, scrunching her face up in confusion.

“Olivia. He got with fucking Olivia” I spit out, still overtaken by anger.

“Like the Olivia, he kept telling her not to worry about?” Nick asks, his own anger building up at the situation. To some extent, everyone knew about Asher and his questionable actions.

I clench my jaw, simply nodding at his question while continuing to pace. “Then the bitch just abandoned her at Nobu. Why were they even there? She fucking hates sushi, he should know that.” I rant.

I didn’t like Asher from the beginning of their relationship, Y/N knows that, but I'm also not entirely an asshole, so I’ve tried to be supportive.

But now? After leaving her in the rain? After leaving her entirely alone to cry in the rain, dislike isn’t even the word for how I feel anymore.

“Matt?” Chris speaks, bringing me back to reality.

I pause my steps, running my fingers through my hair. “Sorry, what?”

“I was saying, it’s fucked up that he did that shit the week before her birthday,” Chris says, a worry line gathering between his brows.

“We’re gonna have to make this trip extra special for her. Make sure she has fun.” Nick adds and Madi nods enthusiastically.

“On the bright side,” Nate chimes in, a smirk spreading across his face. “Matt, you might actually have a shot with your girl now.”

Before I can even respond, Chris barks out a laugh, leaning into the side of the couch like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. I narrow my eyes, stopping my pacing to glare at him. “What’s so funny?”

“You know damn well you’re not gonna make a move.” He laughs and Nate slaps his chest to shut him up, causing him to jolt forward slightly at the sudden sharp pain.

“You don’t know what I’ll do.” I snap defensively, my ego a little bruised at his lack of confidence.

“Okay.” Nate cuts in, leaning an elbow on Chris’ shoulder. “What if we make it interesting?”

“I’m listening,” I say hesitantly, taking a seat near Nick.

“50 dollars says you won’t tell her how you feel by the end of the trip” He says, pulling out his wallet and tapping it for emphasis.

“Deal,” I say pridefully, my mouth outrunning my head.

“Oh, I want in on this,” Chris says, leaning forward. “Another 50 says you can’t pull her.”

I grimace, not sure I like the idea of betting on my feelings for her. But Nick reaches over and tussles a hand through my hair. “Y’know what? I like Matt’s chances on this. You guys are on.”

Madi clears her throat and I look up to see Y/N coming slowly down the stairs, her face clean and hair still damp. The look on her face is a gut punch and my eyes track her as she walks over to where Nick holds his arms open.

And as she curls up into his side, her eyes snapping up to meet mine, all I can think is… what the hell did I just get myself into?

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gashinabts · 1 year

Text

On and Off | (m)

Word: 3.6k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: angst, smut,

Warnings: explicit sex scene, oral sex, public sex, emotional and physical cheating, toxic relationship

summary: you and jungkook can't seem to break up.

a/n: hope you guys enjoy! btw I don't support toxic relationships just wanted to try writing it out.

Part 2 Part 3

On and off was one way to describe your relationship with Jungkook.

Jungkook lied to you that he was at his apartment but instead was at a club. “ I’m sorry I lied, I just knew you would get mad if I went to a club.” Jungkook is now outside of the club, the cold weather making his teeth chatter.

The music is obnoxiously blasting even though you and Jungkook are a good distance from the entrance. “ Yeah because you went with your douchey friend who is a cheater,” you roll your eyes.

“ Y/n let’s not make a big deal out of this. Next time I’ll tell you that I’m clubbing with Jay,” Jungkook takes his cigarettes out and he immediately puts it back in his pocket when he sees your scowl.

“ I’m making a big deal? You lied to me and went to a club…how would you like it if I lied to you, went to a club and grinded on some guys?” You cross your arms.

Jungkook sighs loudly, pulling his hair in frustration. “ God, I can’t with you…can we talk about this tomorrow?”

You smile sarcastically, “ Yeah, while you’re at it get your fucking stuff out of my apartment.” You harshly brush past him your shoulder bumping him hard. You hear him mutter a curse word.

…

“ Fuck Jungkook,” you sigh in pleasure as Jungkook eats you out on the kitchen counter. His long hair brushes the inside of your thighs and you laugh as it tickles it, Your hand brush the wavy ends and tugging it and he groans. The pleasure amplifying your core. His large hands pulling your hips closer and he eats you out more vigorously. “ I’m so close,” you cry out. A few minutes pass and you come from his mouth.

Jungkook kisses your clit and you shiver, pushing his head you away he comes up and finally kisses your lips. You taste yourself on him and smirk to yourself. Your hand travels down to his cock. Pulling your head back you take a good look at him, his lips swollen and his doe eyes staring at you with lust “ Are you gonna beg for me to take you back?” You ask as you apply more pressure to his cock not jerking him off yet.

His hands massage your thighs, his fingers inching closer to your pussy.“ I’m sorry I lied to you, baby.” Jungkook whines wanting more. He makes eye contact “ I’m an idiot.”

Smiling you jerk him off. “ Yeah I know you are .” You kiss his neck and sucking a mark. “ But I want to hear you beg.” You bite hard on his neck.

He sucks a harsh breath from the pain of your bite and your demands. Jungkook is prideful man and doesn’t like being in the wrong or begging for forgiveness. But since dating you he had to put aside his pride. Is he a masochist for loving your harsh attitude towards him. “ Take me back, baby.” Jungkook hand moves to your folds rubbing your wetness and gently inserting a finger. “ I know you want me back too,” Jungkook pulls your hair back to make eye contact with you.

And you do.

…

“ I thought you guys were done,” Mina ask. She’s confused by the way Jungkook kissed your lips and as he left to his next lecture because a day ago you were over him.

“ Yeah but then we made up,” you say. Sipping your overly sweet ice coffee that Jungkook bought. You always hated sweet drinks and you tell him all the time but he still gets them for you. “ He said he’ll do better, I don’t know how long that will last.” You throw away your still filled coffee in the trash not wanting another taste.

Mina rolls her eyes, “ If you know he’ll keep making the same mistakes, why bother dating him?” She’s been your friend since first year of college and she still wondering why you’re in a relationship with him.

“ I don’t know.” You shrug.

…

There was comfortable silence as you guys hangout in your room. Earlier you guys both watched a movie but not really paying attention to it as you guys talked throughout the majority of it. But now you are doing your assignment as Jungkook is chilling in your bed. He gets annoyed after the several notifications you receive on your phone pinging. Grabbing your phone from the charger he easily types in your password, his birthday.“ What the hell?” Jungkook eyes furrowed as he looks through your phone. You are working on your laptop and you get irritated at him looking through your phone. “ You are texting other guys,” Jungkook gets up from your bed.

“ It’s not that serious, I was just bored so I texted them. I never sent them nudes or anything.” You walk over to grabbing your phone tossing on your side of the bed. You grab his phone and he tries to grab it but you stop him. Immediately you go on instagram and look at his feed women half naked in lingerie, swimsuits etc. And see his likes and smile to yourself. “ Is this not the same thing?” You show him a women with her ass out for the camera and he obviously liked it. “ You get to like girls instagrams. Obviously you are showing interest in them. What’s the difference between you and me?” Handing his phone back he takes it back slowly.

“ Y/n that’s borderline cheating you’re talking to them, I’m just liking their pictures-“

“ If you feel that way then I’ll stop texting them. But then unfollow those girls and stop liking those pictures,” you kiss his cheek and going back to your seat to finish your assignment.

Jungkook sighs and goes to his phone and immediately unfollows all the girls. He walks back to you and shows you his instagram cleanse. Nodding you give him approval and continue your work. Through your perfield vision you see him going through your phone once more and you can assume he is blocking all the guys you were texting back.

…

Jungkook is hanging out with Namjoon and Taehyung drinking while gaming. He wins for the third time and Taehyung gets annoyed. “ Fuck this, let’s go clubbing.” Taehyung gets up putting the remote control on the table.

“ Can’t. Y/n will get upset,” Jungkook groans and he checks his phone for the time. If he would ask you right now you would get annoyed because you guys just made up from another argument. Maybe if he just hid it from you but you always managed to find out. He thinks you have someone you know from the club to tell you if he’s there.

Namjoon laughs, “ Dude I thought you guys were broken up.” Last time he was talking to Jungkook he mentioned you guys were broken up. It’s always been like this between you guys. But he doesn’t judge since he hookups with his exes.

Taehyung groans, “ Fuck it then just invite her.” Taehyung doesn’t care if you come to the club with them he just wants to get even more plastered maybe make out with someone.

Forty minutes later Jungkook is holding your waist as you order another drink from the bartender. Smiling to the bartender you hand the drink to Jungkook. He thanks you by kissing your cheek. Jungkook looks at you suspiciously as you talk to the bartender more friendly. He clears his throat and you look at Jungkook.

“ This is Yoongi,” You yell over the loud music. “ He is a TA for one of my courses. He’s a grad student.”

“ Nice to meet you,” Yoongi nods to Jungkook. And Jungkook does the same eyeing him. He’s clean cut his hair is dark and long. His voice is mellow and soothing. Jungkook thoughts disappear when Yoongi hands you a sour whiskey. “ I made it stronger for you.” Yoongi moves closer to you so you can hear him clearly.

Jungkook chuckles, he brings you closer to him. “ Alright man, we gotta head back.” He walks with you back to the table with the rest of your friends. “ Did you guys fuck ?” Jungkook ask as you take a sip of your drink.

“ Yeah…we fucked in his car.” You laugh. Jungkook looks amused and takes your drink instead sipping it, and it was a lot more stronger than his drink.

“ When?” Jungkook asked he moves your hair to the side kissing your neck.

“ Mm…three weeks ago. You broke up with me and I saw you making out with a pretty girl at a frat party.” You pull away and take your drink back sipping it. “ Did you end up fucking her?” You ask passively aggressive. Jungkook looks darkly at you.

Jungkook remembers that party too well, he pretended he didn’t see you. And made out with a random girl, didn’t bother to know her name. He just wanted to see you jealous. And he felt a weird sense of happiness seeing your upset face when you saw him making out with another girl. “ No, just made out “ Jungkook says. His fingers play with the ends of your hair.

“ Are you mad that I let him fucked me?” You tilt your head. His hands stop playing with your hair.

Jungkook smirks, “ No. Do whatever you want.” Jungkook pats your cheek before going to the dance floor. Leaving you with the drinks and the obnoxious music blaring once again. You stand there watching Jungkook bending down to whisper something to a girls ear. You got to give him credit he always manages to pick an attractive girl. If he’s going to mess around at least be with someone not ugly.

He stares at you and grabs her hips dancing to the raunchy music. The girl oblivious to the eye contact you guys are making. You take another sip of your drink watching his little stunt. Like a little kid retaliating agains their parents wishes. It’s quite amusing to you. He turns her around and pushes her dark hair and kissing her neck doing the same thing he did to you not long ago.

Annoyed you chug your drink and walk away from the scene. Heading outside for fresh air wanting to escape the humid weather in the club. Once your outside you go on your phone and go TikTok watching dumb people do dumb things. “ Y/n.” You turn around and see Yoongi holding onto his pack of cigarettes. “ You shouldn’t be out here all alone, where’s that kid at?” Yoongi takes a cigarette lighting it up. He offers you one and accept it and he lights it for you.

You ignore his question, “ You on break?” You ask.

“ Yeah decided to take it early once I saw you head outside.” Yoongi moves down and sits on the pavement to be closer to you. “ There’s supposed to be a meteor shower.” He says to lightened the mood. You look up to the sky and see nothing but dark polluted clouds.

You blow the smoke out and look at Yoongi, “ I told him that we fucked.”

Yoongi laughs in surprise, “ Why’d you lie?” All you guys ever did was kiss and you stop him before it can go any further.

You shrug, “ I wanted to see if he’d care,” you toss the cigarette putting it out.

“ Did he?” Yoongi asked out of curiosity.

“ I don’t know, he was all nonchalant about it.” You look at your phone and notice your phone was almost dead.

“ He looked irritated when you introduced me ,” Yoongi comments. Yoongi is about to say more but is interrupted when Jungkook calls your name. Yoongi gets up and holds his hand out to help you up. “ I’ll see you later.” Yoongi nods to you and walks back inside the club.

“ Is he like your new boyfriend?” Jungkook asked. “ He even helped you up. How cute of him.” Jungkook points out.

“ Yeah we can go double dates with your new girlfriend,” you roll your eyes. You brush past him and he scoffs following you.

…

The library is quiet and Jungkook is working on his chemistry work while you are typing away at your research. He’s at a dead end with a problem and ask you for your help. He watches as you explain to him and he kisses your lips as a thank you but tries to sneak his tongue in. You laugh pushing him away, “ I have to finish this,” you point to your laptop.

“ You look so hot teaching me,” Jungkook brushes your hair putting it behind your ear. He leans closer and bite your ear playfully. You chuckle shaking your head and your fingers type slower distracted by Jungkook. “ I just want to eat you out here,” Jungkook nose brushes his nose against your neck. He’s obsessed with your scent if he could he’d make a perfume out of it and spray it on his bedsheets. One of his hand goes between your thighs squeezing it. “ I’ll go under the table and fuck you with my tongue.”

You don’t know if its a curse or blessing that you are wearing a skirt. Looking around and see no one close to you guys. “ Jungkook,” you whisper as his hand moves to the front of your panties rubbing it. Slightly moving your hips upward trying to get more of his hand. He applies more pressure on clothed pussy.

Jungkook loves the way your cheeks flush and your hand trying to cover mouth. His finger move your panties to the side touching your wet folds. You gasp and he chuckles. “ I’m the only one who gets you this wet, right ?” Jungkook ask. And you nod quickly. “ Not that Yoongi guy?” He pays attention to your clit and pinches it when you don’t reply.

“ No Jungkook, just you,” you say in a shaky voice. You don’t want to speak because you’re afraid you’ll moan really loud. Jungkook smiles to himself and inserts his fingers into you. There are teeth marks on your hand as you try your best to contain your moans.

Jungkook curls his fingers and you lose it, “ Fuck yourself on my fingers babe.” And you do shamelessly moving your hips as best you could on the hard chair. Your body slumps forward and your head rest on the table. One of your hands clawing at the table. Finally your body legs and come hard against his fingers. If keeps going you know your are going to squirt, quickly one of your hands stop his bigger ones. Your breathing is heavy and deep as you try to catch your breath.

He brings his wet fingers to his mouth sucking it with pleasure. “ Let’s fuck over there,” Jungkook nods his head over the last shelf of books. It’s high enough to cover you guys and no one goes there because they aren’t required book.

Catching your breath you sit up straight. “ Hold up my friend is supposed to be coming over, I need to ask him a question” you say as you fix your panties.

“ Who? “ Jungkook ask while putting his iPad in his backpack.

“ Yoongi.” You answer honestly. Jungkook eyes closed for a hard second probably trying to figure out what to say. “ Its gonna be quick,” you kiss Jungkook’s cheek. He hums as he waits for Yoongi’s arrival.

He watches you get up and greet him from a distance. Jungkook sees Yoongi handing you a drink, and you smile while thanking him. It was a quick conversation and you wave goodbye to Yoongi going back to Jungkook. Jungkook grabs your drink and grimaces at the taste. “ Ew it’s too bitter,” he hands it back.

“ That’s how I like my coffee,” you take a sip. You pack your belongings in your backpack.

“ Oh right,” Jungkook says to himself.

…

Jungkook sees the way your always on your phone and sneaks glances not trying to make it obvious. The stifle laughs are obvious when you are texting on your phone at night when he spends the night over. Like right now you are texting and he’s playing his video games. He wants to ask you but he wants to finish his game first. “ Are you almost done?” You ask loudly, you are laying on his bed while he’s on his PlayStation. He’s been playing for two hours and you are bored. If you knew you were going to be ignored while he’s playing your would’ve not come over.

Jungkook moves his headset mic down, “ Yeah, just give me thirty minutes. This is the only time Taehyung can play with me.” You sigh and go to his kitchen to make a sandwich, and you give your other half to Jungkook. “ Thanks babe,” he grabs it not even giving you glance.

Thirty minutes past and your still waiting for him to finish his game. “ I’m just gonna go,” you get up from his bed.

“ Hold on,” Jungkook groans and he curse at Taehyung because he let an enemy shoot him. “ Just give me ten minutes.”

“ Jungkook I gave more than two hours…you wasted my time. If you knew you were going to be gaming with Taehyung why’d you invite me,” you get frustrated as he groans again. Making you feel like your the bad guy in this scenario. “ Can you stop acting like a little kid?” Annoyed with his constant groaning.

Taehyung must’ve said something because Jungkook told him to shut up and he puts away his headset. Jungkook looks at you still sitting on his gaming chair, “ Do you like picking fights with me?”

You scoff, “ Yeah I fucking absolutely love it,” your sarcasm bleeds in your words. “ You think I like having to teach you right from wrong this relationship, it’s fucking exhausting,” you wave your hands in frustration.

Jungkook humorously laughs, he takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes in frustration, “ Baby you aren’t a saint. You do the same amount of wrongs as me. Maybe worse at least I don’t fuck people when we are on breaks.” Jungkook hears your phone notification ping and it’s like bomb setting off to him. “ Y/n that better not be that guy.”

“ Who?” You try to act dumb to get under his skin. “ Oh Yoongi? Yeah we’ve been texting, we are just friends though,” you used the same line he used when he was defending himself when you caught him texting his ex girlfriend last week .

“ Y/n, don’t do that right now. This is different…you let that guy fucked you and he clearly has an interest in you,” he bites his lip piercing a bad habit he developed.

“ We were on break…remember you broke up with me,” you throw your head back annoyed at the double standards. “ You were literally dry humping that girl at the frat party in front of me and I know you fucking saw me.”

“ Is this about getting even then?” Jungkook asked. “ Do you mind if I fuck her then? Then we can really call it even.” There’s silence after his question, you just want to get out his apartment.

Grabbing your tote bag you brush past him, “ Go ahead fuck her see if I care anymore. It’s over between us,” you leave him in his room.

…

Sitting in lecture you pay attention to the lesson but get distracted when a familiar face sits down. Ignoring Jungkook you continue taking notes on your iPad pretending to be the studious person you are. He wraps his arm around your chair, his hand laying over your shoulder. There’s a reason Jungkook picked this lecture because Yoongi is the TA. Which happens to be Yoongi going over the lecture, he makes eye contact with Jungkook and halter with his words but continues to talk.

“ You blocked me,” Jungkook says quietly. “ Do you really want us to be over?” That’s the question you’ve been debating in your head. His hands grab your hand and he chuckles seeing the ring he bought you still on your finger. That’s enough for him to know the answer. Getting up he leans down and kisses your cheek, “ I’ll see you later.” Jungkook nods his head towards Yoongi leaving the lecture.

Jungkook is waiting outside of the science building when your lecture ends. He holds his hand out and you accept it like you always do. “ Let’s call it even. I’ll forgive you for fucking Yoongi,” he says to you.

“ I wasn’t asking for forgiveness,” you look up to Jungkook and he gives you blank stare. His face is so pretty that you fall so easily in his web. “ Did you fuck that girl like I told you?” Your heart stammers not wanting to hear his answer.

Jungkook stops walking his hand still holding yours. “ No.” He wants to tell you there’s no one who could hold his heart like you. That every time he kisses another girl he feels nothing but a void of emptiness. Only with you he has overwhelming feelings that he can’t describe. But he doesn’t want to give you that satisfaction easily.

“ Good,” you smile with pride bringing him down to kiss you. His hands go to your waist bringing you closer and trying to get more of your kisses, but you push his chest away before it becomes a heavy make out in public. Jungkook holds your hands once again swinging it while walking towards his car. “ I didn’t fuck Yoongi by the way,” you tell him the truth.

“ I know,” Jungkook looks back at you. “ I was just playing the same game you were playing, Y/n.” Jungkook knows that you feel the same way as him. You chuckle to yourself hearing his response and Jungkook smiles back knowing how you guys enjoy this pull and push relationship.

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delulujuls · 5 months

Text

emotional support rivals | ls18, sp11

hi! i dont know how to comment on this one, basically i thought that i would try to tame sergio and lance a bit because i know that some people may not like them as much. but they did pretty well here!

anyway, enjoy!

summary: reader is having the worst day of her life aka first day of her period, lance and sergio dont know how to act but they tryna be supportive

warnings: none i think

pairing: lance stroll x fem!mclarendriver x sergio perez

This day was terrible. And that was it.

But you might ask, how could a day be terrible when it hadn't even had a chance to start? Y/N just felt in her bones that this would be the case. She also knew her current schedule of duties, which considering the current jetlag that weighed heavily on her mind, added quite a bit to her already full plate.

Of course, days like these were allowed to exist; balance in life was the norm. Nevertheless, Y/N fervently wished for this one to, as soon as possible, come to an end.

Unfortunately, a quick end was out of the question, as her alarm had just rung. She struggled to open her sleepy eyes and saw the gloomy 6:30 on her phone's display.

She sighed and sat up in bed, feeling an unpleasant sensation in her stomach. She was familiar with this feeling and it signaled one thing and one thing only.

"Oh no, it can't be."

Y/N muttered under her breath and quickly reached for her phone, opening one of the apps. The notification confirmed her worst fear. "Your period may start today!"

"Fantastic, just fucking fantastic."

In a already bad mood, she tossed her phone into the pillows and got up with a symphony of groans, sighs and curses. As soon as she got out of bed she checked the sheets but the snowy white fabric assured her that today would be a one big roulette of waiting for her period to start.

When she showered and got ready to leave, she also packed her emergency kit for days like this. She had to use it partially though, because the pain in her stomach was simply unbearable. And it wasn't the typical stomach ache that everyone thinks of when they hear 'oh no, my stomach hurts' but this stomach pain was the Lance Stroll of all stomach pains. It doesn't seem to hurt too much, but it spoils your whole mood with its terrible nature.

Since talking about Stroll, it happened like that she still had practice laps that day, which she failed to pass while everyone else did. As it turned out, the same task was waiting for Lance, because in the cafeteria, apart from the busy employees, there was him. And that damn Mexican, too.

"What time are you supposed to be on the track?"

Checo asked from behind her when she was grabbing breakfast from one of the swedish tables.

"What happened to 'hi, good morning'? 'Buenos dias,' at least?"

She muttered, pouring syrup on her pancakes.

"Normally you don't talk to me, so I figured there's no point in trying."

He replied, somewhat thrown off by her response.

"Hello Sergio, nice to see you too and yes, it just happens that we're stuck with each other today. I'm on at 10am, you're ahead of me at 9, and that Aston idiot is at 11."

Y/N said sarcastically, putting on the nicest tone she could muster.

Sergio didn't know how to respond, so when she turned to leave for her table, he simply stepped out of her way.

Lance ate in silence, observing the scene quietly. He was watching the McLaren sun, today completely covered by stormy clouds, going away and sitting alone. Inadvertently his gaze met with Checo, who just shook his head and returned to choosing his breakfast.

Y/N sighed heavily, sitting at one of the empty seats. She ate absentmindedly, not used to the absence of Oscar and Lando. They had different things to attend to that day, so it wasn't unlikely that they wouldn't even cross paths. Maybe it was even better for them; each of them would probably receive a monthly dose of sulking. The charms of being the only girl in the company could be really tough at times.

And it's not that Y/N was a pain in the ass only for Oscar and Lando. She got along well with most people she interacted with daily. A few times she even went out with other girls; she wasn't limiting herself to the company of guys only. Unfortunately, Oscar and Lando had happened to take a particular liking to each other, which made the trio basically unseparable.

There were people with whom she didn't have frequent contact, or with whom she only exchanged smiles in passing but she had never had the chance to exchange a word.

It's also known that in life you can't be liked by everyone and not everyone can be liked by you. In this case, there was no magical exception. It just so happened that she would spend today in the company of those people who sat at the other end of the cafeteria, occasionally throwing her stolen glances.

After finishing her meal, the girl got down to her duties, wanting to bring this day to an end as quickly as possible. At the appointed time, she appeared on the track, quickly changing into her racing suit. She put on her helmet and after a brief discussion of notes, she sat in the car. That's when she felt that something was wrong. The worst-case scenario flashed before her eyes.

"Can I quickly go to the bathroom?"

She asked, looking at the technician nearest to her.

"We're a bit behind schedule. Can it wait?"

Y/N resignedly nodded. She knew there was nothing left to salvage.

She adjusted her straps and when she got the signal to leave the garage, she drove outside and headed straight for the track. After the radio test and receiving permission to start, she clenched her fists and roared the engine.

She was angry and as it's known, there's nothing worse than a female rage.

She was angry at this day, at herself, at this damn car. She was angry at the bloodstain on her damn orange suit, even though she hadn't seen it yet.

She was so hormonal that if it weren't for the helmet restricting her movements, she would have screamed at the top of her lungs.

However, female anger was priceless.

"Best lap time, I repeat, best lap time."

She tightened her grip on the steering wheel, not responding to the message.

In moments like this, she didn't care about anything. And it's pretty well known that a person who doesn't care has nothing to lose.

When the session ended and she received the message that she could pull into the pit lane, she complied. Mechanics rolled her into the garage and only then did it dawn on her that her hands were still clenched on the steering wheel. When she managed to free herself from the car, she immediately checked her seat. She cursed under her breath and took off her helmet, placing it aside. Quickly grabbing the nearest rag, she began to wipe away the stain of shame on her seat. The technician, whom she asked about going to the bathroom before the start, when he realized what had happened and what she was doing, just gave her an apologetic look.

She unzipped her suit and slid its top off, covering the stain on her backside. Zac wanted to congratulate her on the result and discuss the outcomes, but she apologized and grabbed her emergency kit, heading straight to the bathroom. She changed into her unstained clothes, guarded against another unpleasant surprise and bundled up the suit, muttering under her breath that a visit to the laundry awaited her later that day.

When she returned to the McLaren garage, Zac, upon seeing her, immediately smiled.

"Young lady, you charmed us today! You literally flew in that car!"

"I guess that's good, I think."

The girl replied, mustering a smile as she glanced at the monitors in front of her.

"Good? It's brilliant!"

Zac replied with a smile and checked his notes.

"After checking the car, I would ask you to put on your suit again for a moment because we need to do a few more laps on different tires."

"I thought that was it for today."

Y/N replied, looking at him.

"Now, you were driving on mediums; it would be good to know what time you can achieve on the hard compound."

The girl tightened her suit under her armpit.

"But—"

She started, but it felt silly, so she lowered her voice and approached him, "My suit is not suitable."

"How so? What happened?"

He frowned and looked at the bundle she was holding.

"I won't be able to drive in it anymore today."

Zac looked confused, so she just said "period" without using any words. He quickly understood and immediately nodded his head.

"Ask someone if we have another suit in stock. It would mean a lot to me if we could finish these tests today."

Y/N nodded and walked away, sighing heavily when she was out of his reach. However, as it turned out, racing suits are not as straightforward as one might think and the only McLaren suit in this garage was hers—rolled up into a ball of shame and unfit for use. One of the women upon hearing her situation only gave her a comforting hug and suggested borrowing a suit from Sergio or Lance, taking advantage of the fact that they were only drivers nearby. The situation was exceptional and it was all about internal measurements.

Disheartened by the fact that she would be forced to confront the men, she left the garage and looked around. Checo and Lance were sitting nearby, chatting in front of the Aston Martin garage. Y/N gathered herself and approached them, causing them to immediately pause their conversation.

"Can I borrow a suit from either of you?"

"You drive for McLaren, not for Aston or Red Bull."

Sergio said, taking a sip from his bottle. The girl involuntarily clenched her fists. Be professional, she thought and took a deep breath.

"If I didn't have to, I wouldn't ask. I need a suit; mine... is not suitable for driving."

"What happened?"

Lance asked, glancing at her. His expression lacked the hint of malice that Sergio currently possessed.

"I just need one; is that not enough?"

"Give a good reason and I might even give you mine."

Pérez said, crossing his arms.

"I just got my period which means my suit is having a fucking bloodstain on my ass and even though I feel like they're cutting me in half completely alive I have to do some extra laps because this fucking fat idiot didn't think about pitstop to change my tyres and let me go straight to the track" Y/N she spoke quietly and calmly, but her voice was dripping with fury "So do me the pleasure and let one of you give me your overalls before something hits me, for fucks sake."

Lance and Sergio stood still. Sergio's face lost its fierce expression and Lance suddenly realized that he had started holding his breath out of stress.

"I'll give you mine, no problem."

Stroll spoke up, starting to unzip his suit.

"Yours is light, you idiot; if something happens again, everything will be visible."

Pérez scolded him and turned his gaze back to the girl.

"Wait a moment; I'll bring you mine right away."

Y/N nodded and watched him leave.

"Do you feel very bad?"

Lance asked, looking at her. He couldn't wrap his head around how the girl standing in front of him, bleeding and all, could endure such a great strain and still set the best lap time.

"It's been better."

She sighed.

Lance, not knowing exactly what to do or how to help, reached out his hand with a bottle in it. Y/N looked at the bottle first and then at his face. Seeing that he was genuinely concerned, she whispered a quiet 'thanks' and took the water from him.

Sergio returned shortly after, handing her his suit.

"I hope it'll fit well for you."

The girl handed back Lance his water and thanked Pérez as well.

"Good luck, tigresa."

Y/N nodded at them one last time and returned to the garage, changing into the borrowed suit and taking her place in the car again.

As she sat there, waiting for permission to leave the pit lane, she noticed that she wasn't angry anymore, at least not as much as she was some time ago. When she drove out and headed towards the track, she passed Lance and Sergio once again, who were giving her thumbs up.

For the first time that day Y/N genuinely smiled and who would have thought it would be thanks to her rivals, who had now become her emotional support ones?

#f1 imagines #f1 one shot #f1 #formula 1 #f1 oneshots #f1 imagine #lance stroll x reader #sergio perez x reader #sp11 #ls18

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lizzieisright · 10 months

Text

At least I got you in my head (8) (end)

(7)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: finally, you both figure your shit out.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr @littletinyladybugs @shaemonyou @luvrmunson @saffronssapphic @zootedhoe @2012wannabe @elcantsleep

Thank you guys for reading this story and enjoying it! I was very excited when I wrote this chapter and I hope you'd like it too. For some reason Electric love by Børns was playing in my head the whole time as I wrote the reunion part. And the last lines are reference to the Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby spent her Sunday thinking and thinking and thinking. Even if she wanted to stop she just couldn't, spiralling into the rabbit hole of "does she like me? Do I like her? No, she doesn't like me. I do like her." on repeat. It was still hard to wrap her head around it - in two days her whole perception of herself just turned upside down. And it was good - it always feels good to get rid of this amount of guilt and shame - but it also left Abby in front of metaphorical crossroads and the obvious “what’s next?”.

Abby jumped from being so sure in her feelings to backtracking into “I just figured out my sexuality I need more time”, which was well, true - she did need more time to just..let the knowledge settle.

But you still weren’t home, and her thoughts were too focused on you. Yes, Abby just figured everything out, but the dam that kept her feelings unnoticed broke and now Abby felt everything. The itch she had in her hands before because she wanted to touch you? It was constant now. The desire to call you and just talk? Relentless. She never felt this way about anyone - which was understandable, it’s hard to fall in love with people you’d better be friends with - and the intensity of her feelings was scaring her at times.

Abby spent the first half of Sunday moping around while Ellie provided her silent emotional support and just played games with Abby to keep her occupied. But now and then she’d drift back into her spiralling.

“Abs, until you talk to her all your thoughts have some probability of happening. And it means you’re wasting time, okay? You need to chill.”

“Ellie. Two days ago I learned I’m gay and yesterday I realised I like my roommate. What chill are you talking about?”

“Okay, yeah, my bad. But this spin cycle won’t give any kind of results. Reflect all you want or whatever, but until you talk to her you won’t have an answer.”

“I’m not even sure I want one.”

“You want one, dude. Believe me.” Ellie said somehow menacingly, and Abby didn’t argue.

After Ellie left Abby tried to pick her thoughts apart again, but there was nothing new in her poor brain. Abby felt tired and not lost, but definitely in a dead end. So she decided to use one of her favourite coping mechanisms and hit the gym. The gym always helped, especially with emotions - Abby could box if she was angry or do compounds to concentrate on her form instead of her thoughts, she could stretch just to torture herself and concentrate on physical pain.

Abby packed her bag and went to the gym, hoping for some kind of relief and honestly? A fucking break. She was extremely tired of constant anxiety that changed to sweet memories of you and then changed back to anxiety. Abby wasn’t used to this, so it was taking a huge toll on her - a toll big enough to gain courage to tell you everything. Ellie was right - she needed an answer if she preferred to stay fucking sane.

And the gym helped. Abby did her safest routine, worried she’d get stuck in her head and hurt herself if she did something different, and while Abby was counting reps and measuring time for the rest period, she didn’t think of you. Her only concern was her form and the mental maths of how much weights she needed to place, how to breathe properly and how to place her feet correctly for the squats.

But the moment Abby left the gym, her thoughts were back. Maybe you already came back home? All your books for tomorrow were at home, you needed them, right? Did you have spare clothes at Cait’s? (where else you’d be? At Vi’s? Abby didn’t even want to entertain the idea, and really, it didn’t seem like you) Abby wasn’t sure if texting you would be a right move right now - she needed space and you probably needed it too. But fuck she missed you.

Abby checked her phone in case there are any messages from you, any messages, even if you'd call her a bitch or something. Just. Any indication you were still in her life.

But no. There was nothing, and the apartment was silent and empty when Abby came back.

Monday went over Abby's head, she couldn't concentrate on her classes which was very surprising: she could go with no sleep and still be present during lessons, but today all she could think about was you. The guilt and shame mixed with excitement and hope and it was driving her insane, being pulled apart by polar emotions like that. Now all these stupid stories from how painful it was to be in love finally made sense to Abby - before you she was never really in love with anybody, but now? Now all these tears and desperation and grand gestures made sense. Coming back to exes? Made sense, because she’d crawl back to you without a question. Forgiving anything? Made sense too.

Fuck, people were really right when they said how powerful love was and what things it made them do for it. And even if it was painful and confusing, Abby felt happy about it, as if her unbearable feelings were a proof of her own humanity. A lot of people before told her she was cold and heartless - Ellie joked about it a lot when Abby didn’t hesitate to tell someone who liked her to fuck off - and sometimes it got to her. Now though? Feeling the sharpest needle going through her heart when she thought of you telling her to fuck off? This pain made Abby feel alive.

Later at practice Abby saw Vi - they didn’t train with each other, different weights, but the days were the same - and Abby expected Vi to be angry at her, but not only Vi wasn’t angry, she actually looked at her sympathetically, as if she knew what was happening in Abby's soul. The guilt and shame were back - yes, Abby was still jealous and yes she still wanted to break every knuckle on Vi’s hands for touching you - but she was self-aware enough to understand that Vi wasn’t a part of this. It wasn’t Vi’s fault that Abby had issues.

And the thing was - Vi was actually fucking nice. Abby didn’t talk to her a lot, but she knew Vi’s story and she admired how hard-working she was and how she stayed herself after all the shit she’s been through. Ellie called her cool, and Ellie didn’t call anyone cool, so Abby felt like she fucked up here too.

But the stakes weren't that high - it wasn't like they were friends in the first place - so Abby decided to make amends. She braced herself for the uncomfortable conversation and went over to Vi's locker when they were changing.

"Hey." Vi looked at her, surprised, but she didn't seem hostile, so Abby continued. "I wanted to say sorry for the other day. I was an asshole for no reason."

"Don't stress." Vi smiled. "I wasn't offended."

"Yeah well. I still said some shit. Sorry again."

"It's okay." Vi seemed to hesitate before speaking next. "(Y/n) was really upset."

"Yeah. I know." Abby nodded, trying to conceal her hurt.

"Do you plan on talking to her?" Vi asked carefully again as she put her shirt on.

"Yes."

"Cool."

It seemed like the conversation was over and Abby went back to her locker, taking her bag out and putting her sweaty uniform inside. She felt relieved after that - if this went well, maybe it will go well with you too. Vi put her things in her bag and walked to the exit while Abby was still changing, deep in her thoughts.

"Have you figured it out yet? Why you got so angry?" Vi asked cautiously, stopping right before leaving.

Abby froze, surprised, as she stared at her t-shirt.

"Was it really that obvious?"

Vi shrugged.

"Kinda. You know, the spidey sense. It's not about your looks, it's just… you can tell."

"Gay aura." Abby smirked, remembering Ellie’s words.

"Gay aura." Vi chuckled. "Good luck, Abby."

"Thanks."

And her words were genuine.

You were still pretty shaken up after the fight - not because of the fight itself or Abby’s words, but because it felt like you were hit with reality in a way that broke your stupid rose coloured glasses. And for some reason it was hard to come to terms with the fact that you overestimated yourself: how you acted based on your emotions instead of using your fucking brain - which is understandable, people lose their brains when they’re in love - and the result was the same. You weren’t planning on confessing at all, instead trying to get over Abby, and it led to the same outcome - you two weren’t talking.

You kept thinking about if you made the right choice by never bringing up the “maybe you’re not so straight” topic with Abby - maybe you should have? Just very carefully? Just nudge her in the right direction? Was it too late to do that now?

Huh, what a fun conversation it could be “hey, maybe you were so angry at me not because I made you uncomfortable in your own home but because you’re gay and jealous?” (which was in fact Cait's entire point about this fight). Even if this would go well, Abby being gay didn’t equal Abby being gay for you.

God, what if Abby would start bringing girls over once she would be out? “Thanks (y/n) for helping me figure out my sexuality, now I’m going to fuck every gay girl on campus because I’m hot as fuck and they all drool over me”. Fuck.

At this point it was hard to differentiate between your rational thoughts and irrational thoughts: where did your concerns end and overthinking started? You felt confused and all over the place, and even though you knew the only way to fix it was to come home and face Abby, you were too much of a coward to do it.

Obviously you'd say you were sorry. And you would stop bringing girls over because she was uncomfortable with it and you weren't an asshole. But you felt like this talk would be only the cover of the real problem - this situation happened not because you were selfish (not entirely), but because you wanted to get over Abby as fast as possible. For some reason you felt like you had to tell Abby you were in love with her - otherwise you had a feeling you were taking advantage of her with the amount of touch and care that was between you. For you these hugs and cuddles and small kisses on your cheeks weren't platonic or friendly, and now when you finally admitted your defeat, you couldn't pretend it was something else.

So you had two choices: tell Abby you were in love with her and let her decide how to change her boundaries or distance yourself from her as far as possible. And if you were younger you'd probably choose the second option - it was way easier than being honest and getting rejected. But this way you'd lose her as a friend and leave both of you with hurt and anger towards each other. And Abby would probably call you out on this and you'd have to tell her what was wrong with you anyway.

So your only option was to confess and face whatever would come out of it. And it was scary.

That was the reason why instead of going home on Monday you still came back to Cait - you couldn't lie to Abby but you couldn't tell her the truth either, so, as one of the cartoon characters said, there was a third option: doing nothing. And you chose it.

Caitlyn wasn't happy with your choice, staring you down as you took your shoes off.

"You're running away from your problems."

"I'm doing nothing about my problems. There's a difference." You sighed tiredly and put your coat on the clothing rack.

Cait stared you down, frowning, but you didn’t have energy to argue with her, so you went straight for the shower. It didn’t help much with your thoughts, but the weight of your anxiety got smaller.

from: Vi

Abby just apologised to me

You stared at your phone as your feelings flooded your chest - Abby was stubborn but she was good. She was doing what was right, she fucking apologised to Vi, and here you were, too scared to face her. If Abby said sorry she felt guilty, and it meant she was hurting while you were hiding from her. You could wallow in misery all you wanted, but the thought that you were dragging Abby down with you made you feel sick. You loved her too much to let your fears hurt her.

to: Vi

How is she?

from: Vi

She got hit in the face

Three times

shitty

The guilt washed over you. For Abby to be this unfocused? It meant she was really worried and upset, and you needed to stop it. Fuck it if you couldn’t confess yet, but you needed to resolve this situation and stop indirectly torturing Abby.

to: Vi

Can we reschedule our lesson tomorrow?

from: Vi

Yeah no problem

You locked your phone and went over to Caitlyn, who was reading.

“I’m going home tomorrow.”

“Thank god.” Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

“She apologised to Vi.”

“Amazing.”

“By the way, can I give Vi your number?”

Caitlyn stopped reading and you noticed her pink blush. It was faint, but after years of friendship you knew what it was - you weren’t surprised, Vi was hot and Caitlyn thought she was smart, so of course your question got a reaction out of her.

“Aren’t you two involved?”

“We’re friends. If it’s a no it’s okay. I can totally see why it’d bother you.”

“It doesn’t bother me. I’m not an idiot, I’ve noticed how she looked at me.” Caitlyn was creepily observant and awfully honest. Thank god she didn’t embarrass Vi right then and there, because Cait was unhinged like that. “Give me her number, I’ll text her myself.”

“Cait, you’re terrifying.” You said honestly. “She is sweet, don’t hurt her.”

Caitlyn stared at you like you were an idiot and you just silently showed her Vi’s number so she could copy it.

Three days. It’s been three days since the fight and Abby was exhausted. She couldn’t even sleep, creeped out by the silence in your apartment, twisting and turning the whole night, and if she fell asleep she dreamt of you - either the fight played out differently (you didn’t leave and Abby confessed) or it was 100 and 1 scenario of your reunion.

But then Abby woke up and you weren’t there. She hated how quiet the place was.

At least Abby could concentrate during her classes, even though she opened her dms every 10 minutes trying to gain courage to text you. Why was it this hard? By the end of the day she chickened out and decided to text you if you wouldn’t be home today too. And for some reason Abby was sure you wouldn’t be home when she’d come from classes today. It seemed like you were still pretty mad at her - oh, that was why she was too afraid to text you. Abby - now calmed down, guilty Abby - was not prepared for your wrath if it was still there. And she’d prefer to have it fall on her in person than over a stupid text.

Abby opened the door to your apartment and froze right in the doorway. She could hear the TV from the living room, she saw the lights faintly lightning the hallway and fuck, there were your shoes.

You were home.

Abby took her shoes and her coat off in record time and stormed to the living room. You were sitting on the couch, your legs under you, and you smiled at her sheepishly, as if you weren’t sure that Abby’d be happy to see you. Abby took a deep breath as her heartbeat went absolutely crazy.

“You’re home.” Abby sighed, still so shocked she thought she was dreaming again, her bag falling from her shoulder to the floor with a thud.

“Hi.” You said in a small voice and Abby couldn’t take anymore - you were there and you were smiling at her and she missed you so fucking much.

Abby almost ran to you, scooping you in her arms as you yelped in surprise - fucking hell Abby was strong to pull you up like that.

“You’re home.” Abby murmured into your neck, breathing you in, the same spice and mint as always. You hugged her shoulders and breathed her in too - you missed her crazy. Abby was solid against you and her hand on the small of your back kept you pressed into her as if she was afraid you’d disappear. You clung to her, as you became aware how much you missed her warmth - how did you survive these three days without Abby?

“I’m sorry, I was so selfish.” You told Abby while she pressed you flush against her.

“God, I’m so sorry too, I didn’t mean a word of what I’ve said to you.” Abby said into your hair, her voice soft and quiet and full of remorse. You hummed, comforted by her arms around you, her blonde hair tickling your nose. Abby smelt like home, like someone who would protect you from anything and whatever she said to you on Saturday didn’t matter anymore.

Abby inhaled your scent and closed her eyes, basking in you. She physically couldn't let you go now when she's got you, knowing now why it felt so good to hold you and not being ashamed or anxious about it. Fuck. To hell with it, Abby's never been a coward.

"I figured my shit out." Abby's voice was steady, but her heart sounded like drums in her ears.

"What do you mean?" And your heart was not any better.

"You told me to figure my shit out. I did. I wasn't angry because you were disturbing me or something." Abby pressed you even closer, grounding herself in your presence. "I was jealous."

It was suddenly hard to breathe and you froze in Abby's arms. Did she mean what you thought she meant? God, please, let it be what you so desperately wanted it to be.

Abby moved away a little so she could look at you, because if Abby would get her heart broken now she at least could get it broken looking into your eyes.

"I like you." Abby breathed out and the wave of painful relief hit her. It was good to let it out, as if someone cut open an aching injury and yeah, she was bleeding, but it felt better.

Your brain fully shut down as your ears rang from her words - was it even real? Was it your Abby or another dream? But it was real, and Abby was looking at you, she was waiting for an answer and your own confession ripped out from your chest before you could stop yourself.

"I like you too." You felt your face heat up for some reason, but the way Abby’s eyes lit up made it all worth it.

Abby's eyes grew wide with surprise just before all her restraints crumbled. She took your face in her hands and did what she was literally dreaming about the past few nights - she kissed you. And everything exploded.

Your hands flew to Abby's face and you kissed her back desperately, pressing into her with all you had. Abby locked her arms around your waist so hard your back arched, she needed you close as badly as you needed her.

Abby never felt like this, like every move of your lips on hers set her alight and the hunger she never had before was suddenly making her greedy and desperate to touch you. As if under a spell, Abby pushed you to the couch until you hit it with the back of your knees and sat down so Abby could press you into the seat as you opened your mouth and let her tongue slip inside, making you both groan. Abby felt high from kissing you, the way you were all soft and gentle under her, but not delicate at all, she wasn’t afraid to hurt you because you were real and solid and your fingers on her neck were warm.

And it wasn't enough for Abby, she needed more, she needed to touch your bare skin - so she pushed her hand under your hoodie, kneading your side. You were warm and soft and your scent was all around her, and it was still not enough. She wanted to hear you make the same noise that you made that night for someone else - she wanted you to sigh and whimper and moan for her, she wanted to-

You pressed on her shoulders and Abby backed off, confused.

"We need to slow down." You panted, looking into Abby’s shiny eyes. She was blushing and panting as well, her hand was still on your naked waist, riding up your hoodie enough for her to see your lower stomach. Abby’s eyes went dark as she flicked her eyes from your face to your stomach and back.

"Yeah."

You both didn't move, staring at each other. Abby didn’t want to stop, she wanted to kiss you and touch you and if someone would move away first it would definitely not be her. And then you kissed Abby again, bringing her as close as possible, giving up on any rational thought in your head. You were weak, so when Abby pushed you down on the couch you happily spread your legs for her, getting wet in your pants from how delicious it felt to be opened like that. Abby’s hands roamed across your sides and your hips, groping and kneading your body as if she couldn’t get enough - and she truly couldn’t, appreciating every soft fold she made, every hard ridge digging into her palm. You sighed into her mouth and Abby just needed to press you down into this couch, moving one of her hands to caress your thigh and pull you closer. You felt dizzy, high on Abby's confident, hungry touch, the perfect balance of gentle and rough, so deliciously Abby. No one could touch you like that, like you were hers, your body and your soul, without a hesitation. Abby took what she wanted and you drank it all up.

Abby kissed your jaw and moved down to your neck, leaving an open mouthed kiss just below your ear and you let out a surprised sigh - and Abby’s brain fucking melted. She left more kisses, all shamelessly open, her hot tongue brushing over your skin just to hear you sigh like that. Abby pushed your thighs up so you could close them around her waist and slipped her hand back under your hoodie, getting dangerously close to your tits. That broke the spell on you, bringing you back to reality.

“Abby, wait.” You asked, not comfortable with how fast it was going. Abby looked up to you, waiting for what you wanted to tell her. “We really need to chill.” You caressed her cheek, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down.

Abby wanted to protest, but the horny fog started leaving her head and she understood how overboard she went just now, jumping you like this the moment you reciprocated her feelings. It was too fast.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Abby chuckled and tried to move away, but you didn’t let her, pressing her back to you.

“Just.. lie down.”

Abby listened to you, her hands still under your hoodie, but now she was just caressing your sides gently with her thumbs, sending goosebumps.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You told her as you stroke her hair.

“I’ve missed you too. The worst three days of my life.”

You laughed quietly.

“How did you figure it out?” You asked, curious. Abby sighed, but you waited.

“Oh man, this is embarrassing. I thought I was homophobic, because I hated that you were bringing girls over. Talked to Ellie, figured out I was homophobic to myself.” Abby laughed, and even though you could see the comedy in her words, you couldn't imagine what she had to go through.

“This is such a mind-fuckery.” You said sympathetically. “It must’ve felt so good to realise that.”

“It was. And then I saw you with Vi and what happened happened.”

“Oh god this is fast. Like, did you even have the time to properly process that?”

“Three days with myself would do.” Abby chuckled and you felt the guilt poking your heart.

“Sorry. I felt like I couldn’t just say sorry and move on without telling you about my feelings. But I was scared.” You admitted and Abby hummed, seeing your point. It must've been more scary for you as you knew what was happening in your head and the time turned your fear into full blown terror.

"How long have you known?"

"That I like you? Pretty much from the beginning, but I tried really hard to stop it."

Abby laughed and you tilted your head to look at her, not understanding what was so funny.

"Remember when we hung out for the first time? When we watched that horror movie that offended you so much?"

"Yeah?"

"I was very confused why you were so far away from me. I was already into you by that point."

"I can't imagine what kind of mental somersaults you had to do to keep it hidden from yourself." You sighed and hugged her harder. “I’m very happy you’re free of the straight curse.”

Abby snorted and looked up to you, just staring, unashamed - everything about you was perfect.

“You’re so pretty.” God it felt good to say it freely, say it without shame, without broken syllables and mumbling.

You smiled and looked away, flustered, and Abby watched you with fascination - she’s never seen you like this.

“Thanks.” You tried to stop smiling but you couldn’t, and Abby’s curious and teasing gaze just made you smile more. “No, stop it.” You said, playfully stern.

“Nah, I’ll do it even more now. Seeing you crumble like this is even better than kicking your ass in Mortal Kombat.”

“Oh yeah? I still cook your food.” You threatened.

Before Abby could answer her stomach rumbled and you laughed.

“Let’s go eat.”

And everything was back to normal, but it also wasn’t. You chatted, catching up on these days you spent apart, telling each other the last gossip and complaining about classes - that was normal. But now Abby could hug you from behind and steal a kiss, her high making her bold, and you could abandon whatever you had on the stove and wrap your arms around her neck, kissing her back. Because now you didn’t have to hide from each other, second-guessing motives and actions. Now when you ate and talked you could hold hands and smile bashfully at each other, and the teasing could end in millions of short kisses. You finally let yourself hug Abby from behind while she washed the dishes and tell her what was happening with Caitlyn and Vi.

Later you did your usual cuddle time, and Abby held you in her arms exactly like she wanted to. A few months ago you both sat on that couch - awkward and distant, too afraid of each other - to watch a movie, and now you were lying on it, kissing and cuddling, basking in each other as you gently and innocently explored what was an unattainable dream before, caressing sides and hips and ribs without heat but with a desire to get to know.

Abby swore she started to believe in magic when you touched her.

to: els

(the photo of you and Abby, Abby kissing the top of your head while you lie on top of her with the dopiest, lovesick grin on your face)

from: els

FUCK YEAH

you lucky bitch

You laughed when Abby showed you Ellie's texts and nuzzled into Abby's chest.

"Let's do a sleepover today." Abby said as she kissed your temple.

"Where?"

"In my bed."

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #aligyinmh

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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pt XIV good omens season 2 (still not traumatic) episode 2

Here we go. It might not have been traumatic, but it has made me utterly in love with a fictional character. Great.

While everyone runs around between episode 1 and 2 to use the loo or fetch emotional support fruit, in preparation for my inevitable gay panic for Crowley, I eat an emotional support banana as the intro sequence plays.

I realise too late that bananas remind me of fellatio.

The episode begins. There are incoherent screams of BILDADDY through the chat. The phrase religious fervour and ecstasy comes to mind. I do not say it.

God and Satan are betting on a poor bloke so his goats and kids are going to be dead, Crowley has a permit to wreak havoc, Aziraphale is scandalised.

Gabriel's angel hair is very Lord Farquaad. Everyone agrees.

Jimbriel is determined to make his new dad proud, and rearranges all the books in alphabetical order of the first letter of the first sentence. Aziraphale struggles to compliment him.

CROWLEY LIVES IN THE BENTLEY. I'M READY TO RIP THROUGH REALITY'S FABRIC TO GIVE THAT IMMORTAL SOME LOVE AND AFFECTION. AND OF COURSE HE STILL KEEPS ALL HIS PLANTS AND HAS THEM IN THE BACK. @neil-gaiman WHY MUST YOU CAREFULLY CRAFT BEAUTY THAT BREAKS ME.

Anyway.

NO NOT ANYWAY I'M STILL RAGING BUT WE HAVE A SUMMARY TO DO AND I'M A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL GODDAMN IT.

Angels are assholes. Jimbriel is very supportive bookseller's son.

The shit-job subtlety attempt last episode was very powerful because TOGETHER THEY ARE STRONGER! *unicorn music*

Aziraphale strokes Crowley's chest. The fandom sobs.

Crowley suggests getting humans wet to make them 'vavoom' and the apple falls from my slack jaw mid bite.

Aziraphale and Crowley are shit at interpreting human media.

Job storyline. If I open my mouth I'll start scream-crying about how Crowley didn't even kill the goats. He had both heaven and hell's permission, orders from God and Satan, and he didn't even kill the goats. Anyway no we're not doing this now thanks.

Crowley introduces Aziraphale to food. Aziraphale goes ham on the ox rib while Crowley has a little spring awakening about his kinks. I eat my other emotional support banana in honour of the blowjob angles.

Crowley didn't even want to reveal that he'd saved the goats to Aziraphale even though Aziraphale was looking at him with betrayal, because it was for the goats and he wanted to-

Sorry. I'm so fucking normal about goats.

David Tennant and his son are having a HECK of a time.

All Crowley wanted to do was ask questions and christ if he isn't angelic who is he put goats' safety over his-

Bildaddy is the best cobbler and obstetrician. Gabriel is an idiot.

Back in actual time, Crowley gives up on Aziraphale mid-flashback and they saunter off to facilitate some lesbian romancing.

OUR BOOKSHOP. OUR CAR. PLENTY OF USE.

Boundaries, Aziraphale, please. Someone reminds us that the Bentley is all Crowley has left. I fill with preternatural RAGE again.

Aziraphale poor baby has a crisis over betraying heaven. Crowley comforts him even though Crowley fell so every defence of heaven is an attack to himself. I'm totally normal and start eating my emotional support kiwi.

Still eating my emotional support kiwi when the episode ends. Crowley says Aziraphale is too pure and angelic looking to be a demon which means that she doesn't see how pure and angelic she was while making the stars, she thinks she was marked in some way, imperfect. It is okay for her to fall, not Aziraphale.

Anyway yes summary all done.

BUT THE GOATS. CROWLEY DEFIED HEAVEN AND HELL FOR GOATS. AND-

END END THE SUMMARY NOW.

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grapejuicestyless · 5 months

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What A Waste

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: You and Harry swore that you would one day marry each other if you were to grow up and not already have a lover. Yet, when the time comes and the two of you are wed, Harry cannot let himself enjoy it.

ANGST

I’m standing at the alter, hands clasped together and eyes looking towards the door at the end of the aisle. Yet my hands do not shake, and my cheeks dk not ache with the pain only a genuine smile can cause. My heart does not pound out of my chest because I am not in love. The girl coming down the aisle is nothing more but a pawn in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe once, I would’ve held those feelings towards her, but our blood has since ran cold. Any fond memories tainted by our final goodbye.

She wasn’t very interesting to look at. Maybe, at least if my heart couldn’t love her, I could have something nice to look at. Something delicate, pretty. But her lips were pouty and her eyes held clouds over them. There was nothing attractive about the solemn face that hid her beauty.

When her hands hold mine, and her face is just inches from my own, I find it within myself to recite the vows I’d written for her. Carefully constructed to sound like a true loving husband, but with no true emotion that not even she, in her most oblivious state would ever have accounted for.

When she read hers, I saw her hands shaking. Her lip trembling and the furrow in her brow as she stumbled on her words. How embarrassing, how nervous she was. Acting like it was all real. Finding a way to make theater into reality.

How softly, she told me she would. Love me forever, take care of me and support me from the sidelines. Even softer, she mumbled about how even when she was riddled with arthritis, sick and tired, she would still twirl my hair the way I lived when we were children. When I kissed her, I felt nothing. When I pulled away, her smile could have fooled me. How genuinely happy she looked. But I remember the way she left me, and I remember how it could never truly be real. And I remember why I hate her, how I could never love her. Not even a little bit, not even at all.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“H?” She calls me by the nickname she gave to me when we were younger. I don’t realize that even now, twenty years later her mind had still clung to it as if it would be any importance to her anymore.

“Don’t call me that.” I’m bitter, I hate the way it sounds so sweet on her tongue. I hate the way her smile falls when I reprimand her, and most of all I hate the way I’m forever bound to her. With all the money in the world, nothing could separate us, no matter how hard I tried.

She rubs her arms, wearing her fluffy pink pajama pants and a shirt thats reads, “We think Harry had the X-Factor” so cracked, it almost doesn’t even read correctly anymore. The words die on her tongue, look at what I found? I see her enthusiasm melt away. When her eyes drift to the unmade bed and her feet start to move, I speak again.

“No.” Her confused face infuriates me. How could she not understand the justification of my cruelty.

“Your room is down the hall.” The one with the squeaky mattress and dusty floorboards. The one with photos of my old house, with the old garden and the old cats. It’s empty and the heat doesn’t work very well. But the cold from her heart wouldn’t mind it, truly.

I hate how her hair lingers on every surface. I hate how her perfume wafts into the bathroom while I shower. And now, more than all, I hate how she looks at me with rounded eyes glossed over almost too innocently.

But she is not an idiot. We both know it. Silence speaks volumes, I know she pieces together the puzzle as she walks away. The shirt hanging loosely off of her shoulder and her face hidden from my view. She never looks back. She doesn’t say goodnight.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Do you think we’d be soulmates in another universe?” I ask, tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. The fresh England summer air hot and humid. I say it with dirt on my skin, grass stuck to my knees. I pull at the ribbons in her hair and watch how she smiles. We were only children then. Fourteen and convinced we were all grown up.

“Why not in this one?” She asked honestly, looking at me with so much truth in her eyes, I believed her. And the way her hand fit into mine, I could feel my heart pounding. And I knew then, she was the one for me. The way my body reacted, how quickly my heart pounded so violently, I thought it might burst from my chest. Too young to be kissing and too old to not think about it, we stare at each other in the wet grass in the backyard and wait for the final sunset to disappear into the horizon, my eyes looking into hers and her hand in my hair.

For a long while, I believed what she did. We were soulmates, we were bound together. Always by my side, always encouraging me. She makes shirts for my family while I start my career. She helps me rehearse my songs and her voice makes me believe that it should be her on stage, not me.

When the band is formed, and One Directions fate is sealed into greatness, I spend the last summer of normalcy singing in the fields and holding her hand like real good friends would. Her hand in my hair again, twirling it between her finger and her thumb. I want to kiss her, but the smile on her face makes me too nervous to. I think she has the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. I think she is the prettiest girl I’ll ever see.

“When we are twenty eight and not married yet, will you marry me?” She asks me in the last week of that August. It confuses me, it’s such a random age. It’s so young. But the idea of getting to be with her forever makes my cheeks flush.

“Why twenty eight? Why not forty?” She laughs, says something on how I’ll find it silly. For a girl with as much potential as her to wish for something so silly.

“I want to have a warm house with a soft bed. A dog and two cats and children. I want two boys and a girl. I want a white fence to keep them in from the street and little family trips where we can all laugh and be happy. And with all of that, I hope I am a writer still. I hope I have critically acclaimed novels and a Nobel Peace Prize.” And I don’t think her dreams are stupid. And even though her dreams are so hard to make real, the way she dreams about it out loud makes me believe it will happen to her.

When we leave the grassy field that night, I have no idea it will be the last I’ll see of her for a while. All I know is in the morning my mother has a solemn look on her face and a letter in her hand. When she sits me down to read it, all I hear beyond the violent ringing is my mother telling me she is gone. She left, only leaving behind her empty promises and a tainted memory of what I once believed to be something so pure and precious.

I don’t see the letter. Maybe if I had, I would have known it was in her father’s handwriting. And my dear Y/n hadn’t left me because the beating of her heart lost its rhythm in me, but because she was forced away into a house that would never be her home.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“God, you are a self-righteous prick.” She huffs, quickly untying the apron from her waist, letting the blue and yellow fabric fold over her hips and be discarded on the shiny tile floors. Not yet scuffed from the lack of dancing. Never truly loved. But I wouldn’t know what the difference was. I stopped learning how to love when love walked out on me.

“And you must be a victim!” She sticks out her tongue and groans, rolling her eyes and walking down the hall. The lights are dim, candles burning. It’s her own touch. She claimed she hated the big lights. The smaller ones made it much more homely. I didn’t care enough to fight her then, but as I stumble around I wish I had.

“I gave you everything! I gave you a roof to live under. All the money on the goddamn earth and all the glory! And yet you are ungrateful!” I spit at her with venom I don’t even know I possess.

“Oh my god, you don’t even know me!” She turns, and her eyes are crazy, hair wild. “My own husband doesn’t even know me!” She says it like it hurts her.

“Don’t call me that.” I tell her firmly. I try not to look at the rock on her finger, how it taunts me.

“What does it embarrass you? I hope it does. I hope all of your friends tease and taunt you for marrying the girl you never wanted, but had to have!” She laughs then, stepping closer to me, her finger in my chest.

“I will not let a loveless marriage strip me of my heart and my soul. You can hate me, but you should know better than to think you would have any power to strip me of my humanity.” She said it with such power, her voice shook with the same fierceness she felt in her bones. And yet, her anger didn’t lead me astray. For the first time in our loveless marriage, I felt a twinge of guilt for the innocent girl who I let bleed so gruesomely on the floor of our own home.

“Believe it or not, I am not the cruel witch you make me out to be. I am a woman, the same woman who loved you all those years ago. I still dream of having children and cats and a dog. A damn white picket fence! But, what a waste! Our agreement! If it could have at least given me that, or god forbid it had brought us together! I am still the same woman who loved you, and it is clear to me you are not the same man. You are bitter and I pity you because you must be so unhappy to feel the need to be that way.”

“And what else? Do you still dream of a medal in your honor for your writing? Or has that woman finally grown up to smell the roses and see that the world isn’t always built just for her.” I should’ve backed down, the moment she showed vulnerability, but for some reason I could not shut my mouth. I needed the last word.

“I outgrew those dreams the second I married you.” If my heart wasn’t shattered completely then, it had been now. And why? Over some words a girl I claimed to hate had to share?

“What a shame too. A book full of stories of us destined to the fire on our wedding night. And even if I were to write again, who would read about how you broke my heart? And how I continue to let you stomp it out until there is nothing but the dust that remains.” When she leaves, her dress sways behind her. She’s wearing my sweatshirt and she has the same white ribbons in her hair she had all those years ago. She never really did lie to me, did she.

She was only a girl. Ribbons tied into her hair and a white dress with lace so frilly, it resembled her wedding dress. A dress I never appreciated. I wondered if I looked into the old box of photos of the day we were destined for failure, if I would find any photos of her in all her innocence. Or, if that same smile she greeted me with before she knew me would be tainted with the same hate I bred inside of her through my own negligence.

I regret every feeling I’d ever felt towards her. How I called her plain, uninteresting, unlikable. The realization of this guilt hits so hard, it is undeniable. I feel this way because I have succeeded. I have crushed the heart of a girl who continued to love me through my greed. And I know I have succeeded through the look in her eyes and the frown lines by her lips. The lines that once represented deep smiles gone in an instant.

She only solidifies what I know when I see her suitcase by the door. Practically empty, nothing in this house is truly hers. She has gone from one loveless house to another, not yet finding her home. Not yet living her dream.

“You don’t need to divorce me, but I can’t stay. Not now. Not when I still love you. I can’t come back until every piece of you is gone. Maybe then, your insults won’t hurt so much, and we could get along.” She smiles softly, but it’s so fake it hurts my heart.

I don’t stop her, but I wish I had. This house isn’t a home without her. If I could change it, I would. I still loved her, and thats what makes it all sting so much more. The tormenting, the pain and the tears. All a result of two soulmates bound to be together, yet one of them refused to let it happen.

I hope she’ll come back soon. Sooner than last time. And I hope her heart still yearns for me. I’ll propose to her for real this time, not just under circumstance. And when she walks down the aisle, I’ll shake just as badly as she did the first time. And we can laugh about our experience in our first try at rekindling our flame, and we can finally have a house with a fence and two boys and a girl, a dog and two cats. And she can write about how wonderful her life is and win every award there is to win. And I will stand beside her like a good husband because I love her.

I will spend each hour she is gone wishing for her to come back. For the ache to ease itself. And what a waste. If only I could write a good song about it without ranting and going off into small tangents. If only I could’ve done it right. If only it could have brought us together.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #yn x harrystyles #fine line harry styles #hslot23 #harry styles #harry's house album

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mynameiswhateveryoudecide11 · 6 days

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Hello everyone,

long time anonymous Kaylor here (lurker is the word probably), and long post incoming 💚

I’ve just recently started using this space more openly and sharing opinions, which I’ve honestly always been quite scared to do for various reasons, so I just wanted to share a bit of how I became a part of this little piece of heaven here on Kaylor tumblr and how important this community has been to me 🌈

When I first found out about Kaylor, it was years ago through a mutual connection on instagram. At the time, I too was going through a phase of slowly understanding myself and my queerness, which I’d obviously suppressed for so long (it took me just as many years, if not more, to actually accept it after realising it had always been there). So when I found this rabbit hole (or should i say these rabbit holes, as it all started with TTB, kaylor evidence, the masterposts, and all of the newer tumblr pages that have kept the memories from the archives alive all these years) - I finally realised what had always been quite confusing before: why did I always relate to Taylor’s music so deeply ? why did I feel like I could actually feel was she was feeling, even though I’d definitely never felt so strongly about any man in my life, while she was allegedly the straightest human on the planet ? Well that’s because she wasn’t. She was, although on a much bigger and more complicated and public scale, one of us 🎉🌈 As someone who struggled for years to accept my non-straightness, finding out that the biggest artist on Earth, whose music I’d loved for so long, was a tiny bit similar to me and my experience, made me feel a warmth and a tenderness and a happiness so strong that my heart could have exploded for it. I genuinely cried myself to sleep every night for 2 / 3 weeks after finding out. A happy, sad, angry kind of cry - happy to be in on the most beautiful secret of our generation, sad for all the freedom and the life that T & K have had to miss out on, and angry, SO fucking angry that some small-minded, arrogant idiots felt entitled enough to do this to them, to her. To take a life that wasn’t theirs, and make it what they wanted it to be, and take what they wanted from it. Fuck you. Fuck all of you who did this. “So unfair” I mumbled while trying to sleep. “So beautiful” I couldn’t breathe.

Fast-forward to today, I’ve spent an unreasonable and unhealthy amount of time lurking on every corner of the tumblrverse as well as analysing songs (my fave past time) and converting all my besties to Kaylorism (they are now so invested it’s ruining our lives 😂💖).

I’ve been trying to learn as much as possible and I’m so thankful to all the fabulous blogs on here:

@spade-riddles

@chosetherose

@9w1ft

@asteracaea

@rainbowdaisy13

@daisyswift3

@kwyw

@iwanthermidnightz

@tales-of-kaylor

@bettyshoweduptotheparty

and I’m sure there’s so many more I’m forgetting please drop your @ if you’d like !!

All this to say, I’ve spent years anonymously supporting and reading theories and enjoying the amazing safe space you have created for our community - you all have changed my life and I’m sure you’ve changed T’s life too, so I just wanted to share my little bit of personal Kaylor lore because it still makes me so happy and emotional to think about all the difficult times we’ve all been through and knowing that now the future’s bright, dazzling 💖🌈

Sending love out to you all, thanks for everything. Onwards and upwards from here xx

#kaylor #lgbt

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hotvintagepoll · 10 days

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Propaganda

Barbara Stanwyck (Ball of Fire, The Lady Eve, Double Indemnity)—I hope someone else has submitted better propaganda than I because I don't want my girl's prospects to rest on me just yelling PLEASE VOTE FOR MY TERRIBLE HOT GIRLFRIEND. She is a delight in everything! She is often a sexy jerk! (It's most of the plot of Baby Face!) Even when she plays a "good girl" (as an example, Christmas in Connecticut, which more people should see) she's still kind of a jerk and I love her for it! She won't take men's shit and she sure wouldn't take mine!

Setsuko Hara (Tokyo Story, Late Spring, The Idiot)— "'The only time I saw Susan Sontag cry,' a writer once told me, his voice hushed, 'was at a screening of a Setsuko film.' What Setsuko had wasn’t glamour—she was just too sensible for that—it was glow, one that ebbed away and left you concerned, involved. You got the sense that this glow, like that of dawn, couldn’t be bought. But her smiles were human and held minute-long acts, ones with important intermissions. When she looked away, she absented herself; you felt that she’d dimmed a fire and clapped a lid on something about to spill. Over the last decade, whenever anyone brought up her lips—'Setsuko’s eternal smile,' critics said, that day we learned that she’d died—I thought instead of the thing she made us feel when she let it fall." - Moeko Fujii

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Setsuko Hara:

One of the best Japanese actresses of all time; a symbol of the golden era of Japanese cinema of the 1950s After seeing a Setsuko Hara film, the novelist Shūsaku Endō wrote: "We would sigh or let out a great breath from the depths of our hearts, for what we felt was precisely this: Can it be possible that there is such a woman in this world?"

One of the greatest Japanese actresses of all time!! Best known for acting in many of Yasujiro Ozu's films of the 40s and 50s. Also she has a stunning smile and beautiful charm!

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She's considered by some to be the greatest Japanese actress of all time! In Kurosawa's The Idiot she haunts the screen, and TOTALLY steals the show from Mifune every time she appears.

"No other actor has ever mastered the art of the smile to the same extent as Setsuko Hara (1920–2015), a celebrated star and highly regarded idol who was one of the outstanding actors of 40s and 50s Japanese cinema. Her radiant smile floods whole scenes and at times cautiously undermines the expectations made of her in coy, ironic fashion. Yet her smile's impressive range also encompasses its darker shades: Hara's delicate, dignified, melancholy smile with which she responds to disappointments, papers over the emotions churning under the surface, and flanks life's sobering realizations. Her smiles don't just function as a condensed version of her ever-precise, expressive, yet understated acting ability, they also allow the very essence of the films they appear in to shine through for a brief moment, often studies of the everyday, post-war dramas which revolve around the break-up of family structures or the failure of marriages. Her performances tread a fine line between social expectation and personal desire in post-war Japan, as Hara attempts to lay claim to the autonomy of the female characters she plays – frequently with a smile." [link]

Leading lady of classic Japanese cinema with a million dollar smile

Maybe the most iconic Japanese actress ever? She rose to fame making films with Yasujiro Ozu, becoming one of the most well-known and beloved actresses in Japan, working from the 30s through the 60s in over 100 hundred. She is still considered one of the greatest Japanese actresses ever, and in my opinion, just one of the greatest actresses of all time. And she was HOT! Satoshi Kon's film Millennium Actress was largely based on her life and her career.

Barbara Stanwyck:

"THE leading lady of the golden age of hollywood. One of the only actresses to work independent of a studio, making short-term contracts that enabled her to make movies wherever she wanted. She had so much range, and could act in basically any genre. She's been rumored to be a lesbian literally since she was active in Hollywood; most notable is the rumor that she had a long time on-and-off relationship with famously bi Joan Crawford, her "best friend" for decades (They lived right next door to one another). She also lived with Helen Ferguson, her "live-in publicist" for many years. She was the quintessential femme fatale in Double Indemnity, and really pushed sexual boundaries in her pre-code films like Baby Face, and the famous screwball The Lady Eve, where she plays basically a downlow domme. Allegedly, when a journalist asked her if she was a lesbian, she straight up threw him out of her house. She even played a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side"

"THE queen of screwball comedies. I adore her, I'd kill for her, I will cry if she's not gonna win this poll."

"listen ok she had awful politics she was a mccarthyist right wing wacko BUT she's so incredibly hot that i've deluded myself into believing i could fix her. if you see her onscreen she carries herself in a way that's just so effortlessly sexy AND she has just a stunning face. imo she was at her hottest in the 1940s but even as early as the late 1920s she had a rly captivating screen presence and just a beautiful face, and then post-1950 she was just irresistibly milfy so really she was just always incredibly hot. she was also an incredibly talented actress who was equally stellar in melodrama, film noir, and unhinged screwball comedy. the blonde wig they made her wear in double indemnity is notoriously silly looking but she still looks sexy in it so that's gotta count for something. i've watched so many terrible movies just for a chance at seeing her that i think her estate should be paying me damages."

"Not often thought of for her sultriness, Barbara Stanwyck was incredible in that she could actually choose to be hot if the role called for it, and then have a glow-down to look ordinary for another role. She wasn't the most beautiful or effervescent, but damn did she have rizz. Watch her with Gary Cooper in Ball of Fire teaching him about "yum-yum" or with Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve whispering huskily into his ear."

youtube

"She is always the smartest woman in the room. Watching her play Henry Fonda like a befuddled fiddle in The Lady Eve was a highlight of my life. Femme fatale in Double Indemnity, comedy queen in Ball of Fire. She can do anything."

"She was part of my gay awakening"

"SHE'S A PRE-CODE QUEEN. She did everything, drama, comedy. The most beautiful woman in the world to watch weep. Beg for to step on you with those legs. Fun Babs story: Ginger Rogers was offered the role in Ball of Fire but said, “Oh, I would never play that part, she’s too common.” So they called Barbara Stanwyck and they said “We offered this to Ginger Rogers but she’s turned it down, would you be interested?” And she read the script and she said; “You bet! I LOVE playing common broads. [link]"

#barbara stanwyck #setsuko hara #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 4 #Youtube

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the-words-we-sung · 2 months

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Thoughts and pictures - S3E1

So after digesting my first watch a little bit, I'm starting my rewatch of this season and I'll share a few thoughts and reactions (and screenshots) because I can't keep it all to myself 😱

I was happy that we dived directly into the (sort of) trial and confrontation between Wilhelm, Simon and August. I do wonder how much time passed between the speech and this scene though. It sets the tone for the entire season for Wilhelm: he's gonna be alone, with no support whatsoever from his parents. He enters the room alone, his parents arrive after him and his mother doesn't even look at him... Simon arrives with his mother and August with his stepdad. But Wilhelm has to deal with the situation alone (aka how to get incredibly mad at Kristina barely 5min into the season 😤)

Simon looks so pretty and so sad. (And how did Omar manage to look even younger this season??) He wants to be done with this whole thing. Also I checked but 1.2 millions kronor is not as much as I thought it would be (it's apparently around 107 000€, which is not bad, but I was expecting more)

I see what you did there Simon 😏 (Can someone gif this scene and put it in parallel with Wilhelm seeing Simon's room for the first time and saying "cozy" in season 1? :p)

The boys coming back to the meeting: very smooth. Nobody knows what you were doing. Nop. Not at all. (We can see Linda kinda smirking when Simon sits back whereas Kristina looks like she just ate a very sour lemon). Wilhelm arranging his hair and Simon smiling at him: they might be in the middle of an important meeting and at the Palace but they're still 2 teenage boys in love (and I love them for that 💜)

Rickard looked and sounded like such an idiot in the previous seasons that I didn't expect him to actually be competent! But I guess we were mostly seeing him through August's eyes... I know Rickard said he was the best lawyer in the country but I have to admit that I thought he was just bragging ^^' Also: August is such an asshole. Did he really need to rile up Wilhelm like that? He's got quite the confidence to attack him and tell him how he just fuck things up on his own, in front of everyone like that, including the queen. Who, again, is not defending her son!! She tells them to shut up but she says nothing to August for talking like that to her son 😠

(They look like they've been called to the principal office). Kristina doesn't look at them immediately, she looks at Erik's picture on her desk first. Then she looks at August. And then finally at Wilhelm. She is so awful to him this season... Right from the start. And then she breaks down crying for Erik.

While Wilhelm holds her. I wasn't expecting to see her grieve so much this season. We didn't see that at all in season 2. Is it because she repressed all of her emotions too much? I hate that she breaks down like that just after Wilhelm publicly coming out. How can she not be there for him. I get that it must be hard to lose a son, but she still has a very alive one, who needs her.

Kristina is not getting redeemed in this season but Linda kinda is! I was super happy to see her get in mama bear's mode at the trial ^^ It was about time!! But here: I'm sorry Linda but it's not your son's role to keep you updated about what's going on in your house! You're the mother! Stop putting everything on this kid's shoulders!! Maybe he never tells you but do you ever ask??

Simon being truly angry at Sara is so good. I am so happy so he's able to feel that way and to not feel like he has to repress it, to forgive her, to help her. She did something truly bad and he's allowed to be mad. Also look at his angry lil' face 💜

In things that made me laugh: Wilhelm's reaction and face to learning that Simon is grounded all semester xD He was talking all smoothly/flirty and then his tone changes so dramatically when he realizes he won't be able to get his boyfriend in his bed very soon! Horny boy is horny (and frustrated :p)

This faaaaaace ☹

I'm happy to see that Simon still has Ayub and Rosh here to support him. I wish they would have told him that replying to comments online was a bad idea though. You know the saying kids: don't feed the trolls!!

Wilhelm looks like such a normal teenager when he gets back to his room. First time we see him so carefree. It breaks my heart to know that on the other side Simon is so unwell already.

Wilhelm waking up happy and smiling. And being just a teenager (for the first time in a very long time): thinking about his boyfriend, redrawing the heart on his hand. It's such teenager things!! My boy just wants to have a normal life... (And then he's immediately reminded that he's actually not just a regular teenager with Farima's text).

Simon's worried face when he asks about Wilhelm's initiation. You can see he's truly horrified at the idea that he might have gone through what's been described in the article.

And then it starts: the piling up of everything on Wilhelm's shoulders. First his mother looking really unwell and breaking down (even though she hasn't been said to be officially ill yet), and now the negative impact of his speech on the school... Which Vincent takes great pleasure in reminding him about.

This first episode is really good at setting things in motion. We see already the beginning of what's gonna go down during this season: Simon not feeling well, dealing with online hatred, struggling with his new place next to Wilhelm in the spotlight. And Wilhelm trying to finally live a carefree life at school with his boyfriend now that he's officially out but slowly getting crushed under the pressure of his role as Crown Prince and the increasingly obvious lack of support from his parents.

#Young Royals #Young Royals season 3 #yr S3E1 #Wilmon #Prince Wilhelm #Simon Eriksson #my little thoughts #I really liked the episode #but Simon is breaking our heart right from the start isn't he?#Omar and Edvin are incredible actors #and I truly don't know how Omar can look even cuter and younger this season ><#sorry for the long post #please let me know if I should put it under a cut?#I'm thinking of writing my thoughts for each episode this week #watching each episode again but more slowly #while writing up little thoughts and taking screenshots #is pretty nice #and makes me feel like now I can also go and enjoy what other people have written ^^

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elli3luvs · 1 year

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spoiled bratty reader x dealer ellie??

cw: modern!au, ellie lowkey hating you, you lowkey hating ellie, it works out though lol, anxiety mentions, the reader is a bit of a bitch, no smut or anything but if you want a second part just lmk hehe

a/n: thanks for requesting! sorry this took so long!!!!

whenever ellie williams was around you were intensely annoyed

it wasn't even like she did too much other than go to class and deal on the weekends

but something about her demeanor set you off

she always wore these ripped jeans and a baggy shirt, her hair thrown up without a care in the world

smelling like weed and a hint of... orange? it threw you off every time

you had the dishonor of sitting near her in your intro to poetry class, which you only took to get the final credits you needed to go into your higher levels

you have no idea why she chose to sit next to you that first day

the two of you already had a sort of... spat in your dorm room just days before the first poetry class

your roommate, love her to death but this annoyed you, had a tendency to invite over her friends without notifying you

you didn't plan on seeing a girl sitting on your bed with a joint in her hand

"dina, why is there a random girl sitting on my bed?" your voice was laced with venom as you glared at the girl

the random scoffed, sliding off and handing dina the joint, "sorry, didn't know you would be such a cunt about it. i was just doing a deal."

dina laughed awkwardly at the interaction knowing your personality, "ellie... let's go to the cafeteria!"

"did you just call me a cunt?" you crossed your arms eyes widening at the gall of the girl in front of you

"sure did, baby." she swoops by you throwing her arm around dina and leaving the room

you tried not to let it bother you but it did

your bed smelled like her

how long was she sitting on it?

it had to be a while if her fucking smell lingered

you were so annoyed at this situation

you wished you had ripped into her more when she was still here

but you didn't so now you sit next to her in this stupid class you have zero interest in

ellie had a bad habit of bouncing her leg in the class

it shook the table the two of you sat at making it hard for you to write anything

"can you fucking stop?" you hissed at her under your breath

she rolled her eyes, "what? stop having anxiety?"

you wanted to wring her neck out

"bouncing your leg," your hand shot out and placed it over her thigh, stopping the shaking, "god. you are so annoying."

you somehow missed the blush rising under her freckles

the next time you saw her she was in your room again but this time sat on dina's bed

glad she learned her lesson

when you walked into the hazy room, ellie stuck out a joint, "wanna smoke with us?"

you pinch your face, "no. i don't smoke." your voice is flat without any sort of emotion

ellie laughed at that, "you are such a princess."

god you couldn't stand her

but she couldn't stand you either

something about the way you carried yourself made her want to throw up

so prissy, always sticking your nose up at everything

but that being said she was shocked when your hand settled on her thigh to keep her leg still

it stayed there for the rest of the class

her heart was pounding

mind racing with all sorts of thoughts

you were so spoiled... so rude

ellie decided in that moment she wanted you

she wondered if she was some sort of masochist or something

trying to pursue her friends' snotty roommate

dina told her to go for it, always supportive of her friend, even if it was a shitty idea

ellie started to show up in your room more and more

she began to get you in her spell

like she was practicing witchcraft or something

you hated how you began to laugh at her idiotic jokes

you hated how when you got out of class you rushed home so you could catch her just to say some bitchy remark

she always replied with a quip that had you blushing

but you especially hated how you started to put in effort on the days of your poetry class

makeup, copious amounts of perfume, and a nice outfit

ellie took notice of your sudden shift of behavior as well

one day in class she leaned over to you, whispering so the professor didn't catch on, "you trying to look good for me or do you have a date?"

it was a simple jab but it shook you to your core

she found you out

you whisper back, "uh, i, no.. no date but-"

she pushes you slightly, "just fuckin' with ya." turning her body back to the front fully

maybe you did still hate ellie williams

#ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams scenario #ellie x reader #ellie williams headcanons

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why-what-no · 1 year

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💕 My Valentine 💕

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None, Idiots in love

Notes: Damn, didn’t think I’d get this done by the time Valentine’s Day ended. But I did, which is awesome

Summary: Lockwood told his team that he will ask out the girl he likes on Valentine’s Day, making his best friend realize that she’s in love with him. But while she thinks her heart is now broken, she may come to find that he feels the same as her

Valentine’s Day never brought many strong emotions to (Y/N). It was a holiday, one but she acknowledged but never really celebrated. Romance had never really been a part of her life, too caught up in ghost hunting to notice, she it didn’t really matter.

Until this year, when waking up on Valentine’s Day brought her nothing but misery.

She had been living at 35 Portland row for half a year now, officially at home in their old agency. Her fellow agents were practically family, and she loved each and every one of them dearly.

But there was one in particular that…

Lockwood and (Y/N) had hit it off almost the moment they met. It was like they clicked perfectly into place. He quickly became her best friend, rarely seen without her.

It got to the point where nearly everyone they met thought they were a couple. His arm slung over her chair casually when they were eating out, faces almost touching when they were pouring over a book researching together, more inside jokes than Lucy and George could keep up with. So it wasn’t surprising when they got the occasional “So how long have you been together.” or “You’re such a lovely young couple.”

The two would always correct whoever said those things, brushing it off with a laugh. They always said that they were just friends.

Just.

Friends.

That was all.

And it was all they were.

Until the day before Valentine’s Day, where they were all eating lunch and George brought up Valentines. Lucy told them that she had asked out a girl who worked at Fitte’s, while George talked about having a movie night with a fellow researcher.

But what had shocked all of them was when Lockwood causally mentioned that he planned to ask a girl he liked out on Valentine’s Day.

“Wait, what?” (Y/N) asked, mouth agape. She knew she should be happy for him, but… “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Lockwood looked nervous for a second before composing himself. “Slipped my mind.” He told her. “Honestly it didn’t even seem that important.”

“I…” She was honestly offended that he had forgot to tell her. She told him everything, even the most menial things. But did he not do the same? Was she just realizing this? And he always acted like he cared about the non important things she told him. But did he even really?

George looked back and forth at them before cutting in. “Well, good luck on that, mate. She’s a lucky girl.”

Lucy was looking at (Y/N) with… well, if (Y/N) didn’t know any better, she’d say it was pity.

That night she lay in bed, trying to figure out why this news made her want to cry so badly.

Obviously, she knew that Lockwood wouldn’t completely abandon her and their friendship for some girl. He was better than that. And if he really liked this girl, then obviously she would make him happy. And (Y/N) also wanted him to be happy. So logically she should support it. Logically…

Logically…

And then the realization hit her. Making her feel like an idiot.

All that time denying any feelings for Lockwood, saying that they were just friends. She wasn’t just sad that he hadn’t told her that he was asking a girl out, she was sad that it wasn’t her. She was sad that she couldn’t spend Valentine’s Day with him. Hand in hand, certain that the man she adored the most loved her.

Her feelings for him were strong than she had thought.

***

So Valentine’s Day morning, she woke up to the feelings of love and heartbreak all at once and for the first time in her life. Not the ideal start to the morning, and the thought of facing Lockwood now terrified her.

Although (Y/N) was too embarrassed to admit it, her main plan for the day was avoid him. She convinced herself that it wasn’t out of cowardice, but kindness. Lockwood already had a girl that he was interested in. He didn’t need her falling over herself for him. (Y/N) wanted to let him be happy away from her.

Self sacrifice had always been in her nature, just as it was for Lockwood. Although for both of them as well, self sacrifice was usually a cover for self destruction.

So she barely spoke to him over breakfast, choosing to sit between Lucy and George instead of take her usual place beside Lockwood.

Honestly, it surprised all her friends, but they chose not to speak up about it.

After breakfast, she got up to go to the library but Lockwood stopped her in the hall. “Hey, (Y/N).” He sounded nervous, breathless like he had just been out for a run, even though she knew he had done nothing of the sort. “I have something I need to ask you.”

That terrified (Y/N), thousands of terrible possibilities in her head. Plus, being this close to him was making her head spin. “Um, I’m busy right now.” She blurted out. “Ask me later.”

He seemed disappointed. “But…”

She used the moment to make a quick getaway. Ashamedly hiding in her room all day. Not wanting to face him, to think of him spending the day with another girl.

Until finally, she couldn’t take it any more. Disgusted with herself for running away and tired of lying to herself and to Lockwood, she stood up. Reaching for her door and opening it, only to reveal that Lockwood was on the other side.

His hand was up as if he was about to knock on the door, as shocked as she was about her sudden appearance as she was for his.

Their confusion both worked past their fear, because they blurted out what they wanted to say at the exact same time.

“Please don’t go out with her today.”

“Will you go out with me today?”

(Y/N) and Lockwood both froze, trying to process what the other one had said.

“What?”

“I…”

“What did you say?”

Perhaps the holiday wasn’t going to be so awful after all?

Lockwood took a deep breath. “I realize that this might not be the most romantic way to ask.” He chuckled apologetically. “But will you be my Valentine?”

“But… me? I thought… you said you were going to ask some girl?” (Y/N) could barely understand what was happening.

Chuckling at her obliviousness and confusion, Lockwood stepped closer. Beginning to regain his usual confidence. “It’s you, love. It’s only ever been you.”

As she began to smile, he continued. “I finally understood it a couple of weeks ago after I realized how happy I felt when people mistook us for a couple. Knew I wanted it to be real.”

(Y/N) nodded slowly, not totally certain that this wasn’t a dream. As if she had been ghost locked without knowing and was in whatever the comatose version of heaven was. “I want that too.” She softly told him, making him grin.

And while his grin was soft and small, he was inwardly delighted. Mentally wiping sweat from his brow at the relief he felt.

He always thought (Y/N) deserved the best in love, far better than him. He couldn’t believe that she would even give him the time of day, much less accept his proclamation of love. But she was there in front of him, staring up at his with these eyes filled with love and it almost made him want to weep with joy.

He felt whole.

***

When they got home right before dark, grinning from their date and hands linked together, George and Lucy let out noises of celebration when they saw them.

“Finally!” Lucy exclaimed. “You fools finally realized what the rest of us had known from the start.”

“Ha ha ha.” Lockwood shook his head indulgently. “If that is the case, then that begs the question: why didn’t you just tell us if you’re so bloody perceptive?”

“We did! You pigheaded stubborn idiots wouldn’t listen.”

“Yeah. And that’s not even the real question.” George spoke up, looking directly at Lucy. “The real question is who wins our bet.”

“What?”

“George and I had a bet.” Lucy explained, trying to hide a smirk. “If you of you asked the other out before Valentine’s Day, he got 20 quid. If you two did it after Valentine’s Day, I did.”

“But we didn’t think he would ask you out ON Valentine’s Day.” George grumbled. “Which was admittedly an oversight.”

“I say I win.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, hold on…!”

As the two of them playfully argued in front of (Y/N) and Lockwood, she look the chance to look up at her love. “I think it means that we win.” She whispered to him.

“Oh, absolutely.” He laughed quietly, looking at her softly. Leaning down to give her a gentle Valentine’s Day kiss.

#lockwood and co x reader #Lockwood and co #Lockwood #lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood and co lockwood #lockwood and co lockwood x reader #lockwood and co anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood and co anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george Karim

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