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#so she had to bring my hand up to her throat and she just kept laughing at meeeee
megistusdiary · 23 hours
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If Arlecchino sees you as a replacement for her childhood friend (Clervie) and you accidentally find out, it makes you very sad and when she finds out she is next to comfort and prove Show you how much she loves you, not see you as a replacement by feeling guilty about you. 🤭
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i think you guys are obsessed with hurting me
angst with arlecchino
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arlecchino x fem!reader
warnings: angst (hurt + comfort), suggestive at the end
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it was a mistake to look in her journal. you should've known better than to pry into her personal thoughts. that journal was for secrets, and as she always said, things she kept secret from you were better that way.
the only way she even knew you read it was the singular teardrop left on the corner of the page. it irreversibly smudged the ink, leaving a permanent addition to her writing that spoke louder than any of the words on the page.
"let me explain." she answered you, finally managing to corner you as you lay in your shared bed, tears in your eyes.
"explain what? that i'm just... some replacement for someone you lost?" it's obvious you're hurting, and so is she. while she wishes you would've never set foot in her office, she also knows her own internal thoughts are the problem.
she approaches the bed, gently kneeling down at the side, wrinkling her neatly pressed pants. "please listen." and you can hear the desperation in her normally cold tone. "i never meant for you to see that journal."
"but i did."
"what you read was something i've kept bottled up. you are not clervie's replacement, you are my wife." she tells you firmly, reaching over to hold your hand. "i saw good in her, good that i knew i couldn't possess myself. i am cursed, after all. it's the same good that i saw in you." she pauses, looking up at you. "i see things that remind me of her in you, not the other way around."
"what difference does it make? you'll always compare me to a girl you keep alive in your memories alone." you sniffle, wiping your eyes.
"i won't deny that clervie will never leave my memories. she was the only friend i've ever had until i met you." she rubs her thumb across the back of your hand. "i fell in love with you not because of clervie, and it takes me time to see the resemblance. it is no surprise i would seek out someone so... kind-hearted."
you stay quiet and she pulls your chin to look at her. "i have no intention of lying to you like this. i can say that i love you over and over until my lips bleed, but that won't change a thing in your mind, will it?"
"no. i suppose not." you frown and she cups your cheek.
"then let me prove it to you. i hope you know those words were written in a... particularly troubling time for me. they brought me comfort... to see that i have you. to think she would be happy for us."
she slides into bed with you, bringing you closer to her chest and wiping your tears. "you're not a replacement. you're my wife. you are the most important person in my life at all times." her lips press into your forehead as you snuggle into her.
"prove it." you mumble, half-teasingly, but you yelp when she rolls you over, looming over you instead. "arle-"
"peruere. that's my name, and i am aware you know, so say it."
"peruere." you breathe out softly and she sighs, looking troubled.
"i haven't heard that name in ages. it brings me... discomfort, but coming from you, it's almost like it means something loving again." she hums, leaning down to kiss your throat. "let me show you how much you mean to me." she offers.
you smile up at her, nodding as she kisses away your tears and slowly descends your body, taking gentle care of you for the night.
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equinelifecountry · 3 days
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Drowning
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Warning: depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, anxiety. torcher, blood (If missed anything lmk) Description: realizing that she was never enough for him and deciding the world might just be better without her in it
part 2
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The clashing of metal singings throughout the top of the mountains being carried off with the wind. Sweat beads on my brow my labor breath is becoming louder by the passing minute I lift my sword again towards the right missing the target that was Infront of me the big Illyrian, the general of the powerful Night Court armies the smirk forming on his makes me want to slap it right off. "Oh, come on y/n I know you're better than that." he swiftly movies and swings his blade at me I dodged it just in time dropping down to the ground swing my legs and knocking him off his feet flat on his back I jumped up and just my foot on his chest with pressure and pointing the blade of my sword at his throat "Yes I know I am." I smirk matching his that claimed his face just moments ago.
It has been just over 3 years since the war against the King of Hybern I just shortly after the war was won so much has changed with my found family and with the new additions to the family the Archeron sister, bless the mother for bringing us Feyre bringing her to Rhysand. I am beyond happy that he has found his mate, his other half that makes him whole. I see from the beginning that day we went to their mansion to ask to host the mortal queens to talk that the tension with Cassian and Nesta was going to lead to something more those two were cut from the same cloth what more than the perfect match the Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death herself. I can't forget about sweet Elain, the way that Azriel looked at her like she was the reason for him to breath and her deep brown eyes seem to lighten looking up at him, it was kind of cliche in a way the darkness and the lightness meets and blends so well together.
I remember when Azriel went into the middle of the enemies camp to rescue Elain even though he could of easily of been killed and that day before the last battle he gave her truth teller. I sat stood across the way putting on my leather and armor when I caught the seen unfold something cracked in my chest, since the day that Nesta and Elain was thrown into the cauldron Azriel always kept a close eye and helping hand to Elain, I could tell from the way he looked at her that it was much more than just being a good friend helping our High Lady's sister adjust to High Fae life he was falling for her, first it was Mor he was pinned over her for the longest time that never seen to bothered me to much. Mor confined in me about her love for other women so I knew nothing was ever going to help between her and Azriel but that still never eased the hurt I felt the way he looked and acted with her. I don't know why I thought there was ever going to be a chance of me and Azriel becoming something more all he sees is the poor broken female hung between those trees deep in the cold forest bleeding pouring form the wounds on her back forming a pool of blood under her feet.
I shook my head trying to shake the memories away grinning again I held out my hand to Cassian he reached up and I helped him back up on his feet. "oh its good to have you back y/n!" he slung and arm around my shoulders and we made our way back down the stairs towards the dinning room. "You never leave us like that again, got it?" I side eyed him "I just needed some space Cass." I signed "To many things happened during the war and everything else going on it was just to much mentally..." Cassian stopped and turned me to face him he had a worried look on his face "I know you do not like to talk about things much but I hope you know that you have me.. you have all of us if you need someone to talk to about thing.." he paused and put a hand on my forearm "I mean it." I just looked at him gave him a small smile and nodded he just did the same.
We walked in silence the rest of the way to the dining room has we walked through the doors a glanced up at the large table sat in the middle of the room there he was and so with everyone else, i mean everyone. Cassian made is way over to Nesta and planted a kiss on her forehead and sat down I stayed in the doorway just staring at everyone. "Come join us y/n." I shifted my eyes toward Rhysand who was looking at me with is smirk he always seems to wear. "It has been far too long since we had everyone for a family dinner." I swallowed hard and blinked everyone now was staring at me waiting for me to come and sit was them or just waiting for a reply. I avoided looking in the direction and the shadow singer and the lovely flower that stay by him I turned and locked my eyes with Rhys "I'm sorry but I think I'm going to have to pass tonight, I am just far too exhausted" he gave me a worried look the same has Cassian did in the hall I felt him trying to break through my mental walls I just shut him out and gave a weak smile and turned to head back up to my room feeling a heavy stare on my back that sent shivers running down my spine.
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screampied · 3 months
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yuki fingering reader in front of choso who’s tied up and is soo whiney abt it bcs he also wants to touch reader.. 🤭
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❤︎ ໋𓈒 yuki teasing you in front of choso
warnings. fem! reader, fingering, choso’s tied up, praise, dirty talk, needy choso, mdni.
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“she’s such a pretty girl, isn’t she, choso?” yuki slyly says, having you sat promptly in her lap.
you moaned, your head being laid back against her chest while she had her fingers occupied inside of your pussy.
choso pouts, sitting across the room and he’s tied up, watching you be an entire mess with yuki. he felt the tips of his ears burn into a scorching hot temperature. “y-yeah,” he sighs, and his voice was so low yet soft. “yuki, i wanna touch her too.”
“baby, you will,” she chuckles, playfully tilting her head. choso’s lip quivers at hearing yuki use that pet name on him. he was so frustrated, he couldn’t touch you — let alone even touch himself. yuki’s got two fingers prodding against your entrance before maneuvering it against your clit to where you start to whine. she kisses against your neck before she brings another hand to make you face towards choso. “look at choso, princess. he wants to touch you. should he?”
“y-yes,” you huffed out, seeing choso all restrained and horny for some sorts of attention made you throb.
he has a sheepish grin at your response and yuki playfully frowns. “hmpf. fine,” and then she brings a soft nibble towards the inner part of your neck, softly making the tips of her lengthy fingers reach everywhere to make you whimper out. “but,” she cheeses, raising a brow at choso. “you’re gonna have to be a good boy and wait until she cums on my fingers.”
the pout spreads back onto choso’s face before he starts tugging on his restraints. “. . . told you to stop c-calling me that, yuki.”
“but it’s cute,” she giggles, her fingers still deep inside you.
you gasp, feeling her pry your legs open a bit more. yuki sat manspread, and you were just trembling on top of her. she stared at choso before simpering. “besides, you’re the one with the praise kink, no?”
“ . . . ”
“yeah, ‘s what i thought,” she slyly remarks, bringing a kiss towards your cheek.
yuki was so gentle with her technique — her fingers roamed all against and throughout your clit. her chest pressed against your back as you sat on your lap, biting your lip to suppress your sweet moans.
choso’s cock twitched in his pants from the way you kept your eyes on him the entire time. the direct stimulation she was providing with your pussy made you slump your head back against her. “y-yuki, ‘m gonna cummm..”
“yuki, you’re being stingy,” choso whines, his own breathing starting to pick up—you glance at choso and the cute frown that tugged his lips down was adorable. he was so needy, bouncing his thigh slightly, not even sure how to get himself off with the way he was tied up.
“am i?” she smiles, staring off into space with such playful demeanor. “maybe you’re both just being brats.”
you moaned, feeling her fingers goad against the very edge of your clit. it felt so good you heard the beats of your heart pour out your ears.
you were in the midst of closing your legs but forgot you couldn’t since she had them nicely spread.
just for choso to see, and fuck did that make him ten times harder than he already was . . .
her fingers created a rhythmic pace of stroking against your clit.
your folds that were so soaked, sheeny and covered in nothing but your sweet. she was obsessed with your pussy, making sure you and choso just heard how sloppy it was. the perfect squelches it sang out in harmony each time.
she giggles once you start to convulse right on her lap, becoming an entire shaky mess.
“yuki,” you hiccuped, bringing a hand to rub against her wrist. she peppers a kiss against your forehead before a loud whine gets elicited from your throat with such each. “g-gonna cum, hafta cum.”
“at least untie me before she c-cums,” choso whines, desperately craving some sorts of attention . . . it was cute. his hair bounced against his shoulders as he shifted and jerked in his seat, staring at the lewd view in front of him.
yuki smears her pink glossed lips together before rolling her eyes.
“okayyy, fine,” and she takes a brief break to untie choso—you watch as choso then drags his feet, only to kneel down and give you a kiss. the kiss was so passionate yet needy, lapping his tongue against yours, you hear a whiney moan leave from his throat.
yuki rolls her eyes once more, witnessing the two of you make out. her fingers still shoved deep inside your cunt before she uses her full wrist to match her rhythm. you bit your lip, feeling her imitate a bowling ball grip with her fingers, knowing each spot to go into to make you whimper and squirm.
“you two are such sluts.” she teases cheekily, an arm going around choso.
he tastes sweet, his warm breath went against your own before he trails his own hand down towards your body. your chest until it reached near between your legs. the touch from the two of them, you moaned, feeling your legs nearly start to be ice out.
“i-i want a taste,” he murmurs, getting on his knees in front of you and yuki. your eyes glance down at choso to see him lean up close, softly creating a cute kitten lick towards your pussy.
you shuddered, the pleasurable sensations of yuki’s fingers mixed with choso’s tongue—your eyes started to roll back, and by this point you were really at your peak . .
choso starts to lick against your folds, giving it a concise suck, even licking against yuki’s fingers that was going in and out of you and you whimpered. a hand of yours grips onto choso’s messily tied up ponytails.
“aw, he’s been waiting to taste you all day, pretty girl. look at how eager he is to please you,” she coos against your ear, playfully nibbling against your ear lobe.
your legs instantaneously shook. feeling such ripples of pleasure brew up, choso’s practically making out with your cunt, swirling his tongue against your folds before sucking it, whining while reaching into his sweats to stroke himself. he was so needy.
the minute you cum on yuki’s fingers, you fall back right against her chest, letting off the biggest whine. the her fingers were so long, stretching your pussy out so easily—you pouted once she stopped.
you looked down, and choso’s still lapping his tongue against your folds before he gulps, departing his lips from between your legs, only to greet your inner thighs with soft sweet pecks.
“choso, give our good girl another kiss.”
he pouts, getting up to bring you in for a loving kiss—you wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer before he starts grinding against your body. he was in heat, desperate for more of your touch. you had him hot, and for a moment, the two of you forgot yuki was right between you two.
she smiles, abruptly pulling the two of you off before humming. “hm, ‘m not done with you though, princess,” she softly says before making you get up from her lap. she kisses near your chin as she’s behind you now. you gasp once she swiftly drags your ass back and forth against her, only before you felt what seemed to be a toy strapped on her waist. “still got so much more of this stunning body to worship,” and then she gives choso a cheesing smile. “and choso’s gonna be a good boy ‘n watch, right baby?”
“…f-fine, yuki.”
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jyoongim · 2 months
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I literally kick my feet anytime I see you post your writing is so good. Fuckin biting my nails and screaming !!!!
Mayhaps something with alastor and like stoic reader. Like she’s badass, nothing gets to her and tries so hard to seem dominant (cause she knows compared to alastor she really isn’t). Has never fucked annoyed cause it’s the “I only need myself, I can get myself off” mindset
At one point she ends up getting snippy with alastor and he like grabs her by the throat or something to stop her and she immediately just looses all resolve. It’s viable in her eyes as she quickly goes from defiant and brash to meek and submissive just by something so simple because she’s so unused to the feeling.
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Thank you for enjoying my writing🥹🥹🥹 I hope I can continue to give you everything you desire🩷
You took a seat beside Velvette as the Overlord meeting started. She was practically fangirling next to you, sneaking a few pics of you for her socials.
The meeting went as smooth as one could go with a bunch of powerful Overlords. 
You were chatting with Carmilla about business, catching sight of a familiar red demon leaving when Velvette quite literally stole you away, she sported a big grin on her face “Ooh babes, Voxxy wants to know if you’re accepting his dinner invite?”
You wanted to groan. Vox had been quite persistent in trying to gain your ‘affections’. 
You were a relatively powerful overlord. As one of the few female sovereigns, you always made sure to carry yourself with poise and elegance. You got your power on your own, never having to sleep your way to get what you want. And you kept it that way. Your dominant cold personality made sinners shake in fear.  You possessed a great mind for business, able to build or break someone’s business. 
Many sinners would be lucky to have you oversee their management.
And Vox could see you bringing him more money then he could count.
With you under him, he would dominate in sales.
You shook Velvette off, smoothing out your suit. “For the nth time Velvette…no. I am not some power clutch for Vox to try and woo” you growled at her, eyes flashing.  She rolled her eyes “babes you dont know what you’re missing” You rubbed your head as you made your way out the building, trying to ease a migraine coming through.
Your sneer must have still been on your face because you heard a voice teased you
”Frowning doesn’t suit you my dear”
Alastor.
The tall red demon was leaning against a wall, smile ever present.
You felt your eye twitch before quickly regaining your composure, spine straightening and lips pulling into a straight line.
You and Alastor were something like friends. You liked to keep your distance from the Radio Demon, but somehow he always found a way to bother you and keep you close enough for ‘entertainment’. He made you uneasy with how intimidating he was. His ever present smile could make people shit bricks alone and you knew what happened to those who crossed him…
But he didn’t scare you…much.
You growled slightly at his comment, your irritation was blinding the fact that you just barred your teeth at THE Radio Demon.
He tilted his head “trouble in paradise?” he asked sarcastically. If anyone didn’t know, Alastor knew how much you despised Vox.  
”Oh piss off Alastor” you said walking pass him.
You didn’t get far before you found yourself pressed into the building wall.
You blinked, brain catching up to the fact that Alastor had a claw around your throat holding you up against the wall.
You growled out of instinct, eyes glowing and squeezed his wrist “Are You fucking crazy!? Unhan-!” 
 The tightening of Alastor’s hand had your eyes widening.
“Watch your tone darlin’ ”
 your body went slack as a purr escaped your throat.
Alastor chuckled darkly “hahaha oh what’s this? So you aren’t so scary after all”
You blushed immediately.
You weren’t used to being manhandled by anyone. 
You didn’t take orders from anyone.
You were always a force to be reckoned with…
But the way Alastor towered over you, pressing into you, you melted as he established his dominance over you.
A pout formed on your lip as you looked away shyly, feeling small “s-sorry”
Alastor hummed, loosening his grip, favoring to catch your chin with his claw for you to meet his gaze
”that’s a good girl”
@absurd-ash @simphornies @altruisticalastor @markster666 @crazyforbarnes @catherine69420 @yourdoorisunlocked @strawberrypimp666 @sssandychemd @dasimp777 @dennsfz @alastorsaries @confessioncassette @horrorartsworld @alstorloml @scaramoochiie @alishii (I can’t tag you) @gojosaturos-wife @prosciuttosblog @wedream-wecreate @coleisyn @alastorsfawn @eviebuggg @spalimly @senseichaos @thewinchestah @queenariesofnarnia @polytheatrix @zombiesnips-blog @lunaramune @freekyfangirl @kassa-stardust
If I’m missing anyone just comment hehe
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ferrstappen · 5 months
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could you be more obvious? l MV1
a/n: thissss is based on a request I got and ofc I added the Verstappen twins <3 this is messy I’m sorry but I’m on a writing mood
summary: you show up pregnant for the first race of 2024, just six months after Max won his 3rd WDC.
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Max being crowned world champion for the third time was something that made your skin buzz with excitement, a knot form in your throat seeing everything he’s achieved and the pride and satisfaction of knowing that every single person on the team had his back, was definitely one of the best sights.
But for Luca and Mila Verstappen, their papa being champion again time wasn’t exactly a big deal… they knew it was important because there were lots of fireworks and special tshirts, but they were born watching Max a champion, they only knew him as such.
what, like it’s a big deal?
They didn’t say it, but you knew that’s what was on their mind.
That was the reason why both Max and you decided to not bring the twins to Qatar, especially with the high temperatures and Luca’s history of getting sick during Grand Prix weekends, they were more than happy to stay with auntie Vic while you got ready to celebrate your husband.
And God, did you celebrate him.
Without the twins, the gin and tonics kept coming, the sloppy make out session on the VIP area of the club as if you were teenagers again, his front pressed against your back as he tried to impress you with his best moves, only to earn a couple of drunken giggles and peck on the lips.
Things were starting to quiet down, lots of people had already left to their hotel room, but you and Max were on a world of your own, with you sitting on top of him, but the moment you started feeling his lips ghosting against your neck, his hands moving from your waist to squeeze your hip.
and you knew it was time to go.
Bahrain, 2024
Max didn’t remember being so excited for race day. Yes, he was anxious for the new season, but the highlight of his day was seeing you getting ready, a loose blouse and white jeans accentuating the noticeable belly of six months of pregnancy, which was a complete surprise to everyone.
You entered the paddock through the main entrance, with photographers everywhere and Kym Ilman greeting your family, because the scene was worth more than a couple thousand likes on Instagram: you were holding Mila’s hand who in return was holding Luca’s, while Max walked with his arm protectively around your belly.
The twins weren’t exactly thrilled about the idea of having a baby brother or sister, a fact they made clear by asking every day if there was any chance to stop the baby from coming home eventually, telling you and Max that they were more than okay having the cats. Sadly, they were the only ones
“No! No! No! Is that why you went MIA on social media? Oh my God look at this bump! Congratulations you two,” Lily let go of Alex’s hand to give you a tight hug as Alex congratulated Max with a couple of pats on the back.
The scene repeated itself with most drivers on the grid, who didn’t ask how far along you were, but were able to deduce the situation. Until…
“How far along are you?” Charles asked you as he held Luca on his arms, letting him mess with his hair.
You blushed and Max’s chest puffed as if he has been waiting for the question. “I’m a couple of days away from the six months mark,”
Charles looked as if he was doing a very specific and difficult math problem as his girlfriend, Alexandra, stares at him with a faint blush on her cheeks, probably since she has always been more reserved around you because she was younger, but she was impatiently waiting for her boyfriend to catch on the situation.
“This is a 2023 season baby?” Charles asked.
“Looks like it,” Max answered with a smug smile on his face, but in reality it was an excited grin which reached his blue eyes.
“No…” Charles jaw dropped and had to put Luca on the floor.
“No what?” Max counter asked, even if he knew the answer. This time he started drawing mindless shapes on the clothes over your swollen stomach.
“Max… is this your championship child?” Charles whispered, shocked.
“What can I say? Winning on and off the track!”
And Charles almost passed out as both you and Max laughed, beaming while interlacing your fingers over your belly, knowing cameras wouldn’t catch you there.
user1: Max knocked y/n up the night of the third championship change my mind
user2: Max Verstappen pulled a k-mag and I respect that
user3: do we know the birthday of the verstappen twins? Asking for a friend
user4: y/n and max will have a full kindergarten if they have a kid every time he wins the championship💀
user5: are we really surprised after those videos leaked of max squeezing her ass while they were celebrating the 3rd wdc
user6: if the maths are mathing this baby will be born around the Monaco gp. GODS PLAN
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etoilesvv · 4 months
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TEACHER!ABBY TEACHER!ABBY TEACHER!ABBY
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teacher!abby (actually professor) who laid eyes on you on the first day of classes, and knew she was already hooked. the way your pretty eyes scanned your laptop screen, the way your fingers tapped the keys, the way your hips swayed as you left the auditorium. oh, she had to have you.
teacher!abby who was secretly overjoyed when you approached her one day, asking for help. you were even more beautiful up close, and so, so tempting. she barely listened to your concerns about the upcoming assignments, firstly because you had nothing to worry about — you were already getting 100s — and secondly because she couldn’t stop her eyes from roaming over you.
teacher!abby who then inched her way closer to you, starting with greeting you in passing to inviting you to her office during her hours. of course you dropped by, such a good listener. and of course she kept it professional. she’d never pursue her attraction to you, right? you were her student. her pretty student.
teacher!abby who didn’t notice that you’d been looking at her that way, too. how could you not, walking into lecture on the first day and seeing that hunk of a woman? tall and muscular, with that pretty, flowing braid and such a commanding presence. you knew your little crush was forbidden, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t play dumb and ask for help with every single assignment.
teacher!abby who looked forward to your daily drop-ins everyday after that, chatting about studies and classes. sometimes you’d even go a little deeper, talk about something slightly personal. she liked learning more about you; something about you was just pulling her in. and abby could’ve sworn she saw you staring when you thought she wasn’t looking.
teacher!abby who couldn’t control herself any longer. it was the end of the semester, and the more time she had spent with you, the more she wanted you — no — needed you. she decided on her plan and invited you to her office after class, having you worry you flunked an assignment or something.
“come on in.” she said with her usual stern face, though giving you a small smile as she always did. she held the door open, and then closed the two of you in her office. the blinds were closed, too. odd.
“you wanted to discuss something?” you asked, walking to stand in front of her desk, not sitting. she stood as well, leaning against the side of the desk.
“yes.” she answered shortly, looking down to the floor with a pensive expression. you tilted your head to the side with curiosity.
“is it about my average? because, i know it’s fallen a couple of points. it’s not like me, i’ve just been a little distracted—”
“i’ve fallen for you.” abby stated, bringing her eyes up to you. your eyes widened and your mouth fell open.
“what?” you squeaked with a sharp breath. she pushed herself off her desk. she took a step forward, and you took a step back.
“you’re smart, kind…and gorgeous.” she began, locking her office door with a click! before starting slow steps towards you.
“abby— professor…” you protested with uncertainty. you didn’t know where she was going with this. either way, you knew it shouldn’t be happening, but did that ever stop anyone?
“i want you.” she confessed as she backed you into the wall. she planted her hands next to your head and loomed over you. “tell me you feel the same way. tell me you want this, too.”
abby whispered, eyes searching yours for an answer.
“i…i want you, too.”
teacher!abby who now had you bent over her desk with your panties at your ankles. your chest was pressed flush against the wood, your little skirt bunched up at your lower back, exposing your ass. her thick fingers curled inside your cunt, earning a moan from deep within your throat.
“you like that, huh? fuckin’ dirty girl.” she muttered in your ear from behind, leaning down over you. your back arched as her free hand reached to circle your throat. abby thrusted her digits inside of you, whimpers and erotic squelches filling her office. her long, large fingers reached spots you didn’t even know existed, making your legs tremble from pure ecstasy.
and abby was sure she was in a dream, knuckles deep in your wet pussy.
teacher!abby who then got on her knees and parted your legs as you sat on the edge of her desk. she lapped at your heat with her flat tongue, making your thighs tighten around her head. you grabbed a fistful of her now messy braid, and she moaned into your cunt.
she looked up at you through her brows, watching you toil with her every movement. you looked beautiful, above her with your eyes scrunched closed, crying out in pleasure.
teacher!abby who finally sunk into your warm walls with her silicone shaft. your legs wrapped around her waist, her dress pants sitting just below her strap. did she wear that thing everyday? jesus. her hands gripped your waist, nails digging into the soft skin and leaving little crescent moons. you held onto her neck, the desk shaking with every slam of her hips.
when her palm pressed on your stomach and her thumb circled your clit, you swore you saw stars. your toes curled, and your eyes rolled back in orgasm. you screamed out, and abby didn’t care if anyone heard you two. she didn’t care if anyone knew. all she cared about was you.
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cdbabymp3 · 2 months
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𐙚chris' girl ; chapter one ― matt sturniolo
summary: y/n goes home with chris after the party. matt let's his desires get the best of him. i suck at summaries lmfao
notes/warnings: chris x reader x matt, nsfw !! slight perv!matt, masturbation, vouyerism (??) a hint of toxic!chris, that's it i think idk ?? i've decided to break up the chapters to be a lil shorter so it's easier to read ! that way there will be more of them too <3
read the intro if you haven't already :) LUV YALL IM NERVOUS ABT THIS ONE ....
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not caring what response the random guy had to say, matt kept walking. while leaving completely wasn't an option, who's to say he couldn't wait in the car? enticed by the idea of complete silence and peace, matt strolled to the front door of the house and made his way up the street to the car. with a short beep of the car unlocking, he hopped in and shut the door, sighing in relief. after sitting idle for a moment, he was unsure what to do. was this a new low? hiding in the car from my brother and his girlfriend....jesus. defeat struck again, making him rest his arms and forehead against the steering wheel. what the fuck is wrong with me? amid his wallowing, a low buzz vibrates repeatedly from his back pocket. matt grabs his phone, the bright screen illuminating the dark interior of the car. not one, but five texts from nick:
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matt rolled his eyes at his brother's hollow threat.
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a tinge of anger made its way through matt's veins. of course chris did something. it wouldn't be fair to cuss out chris until he knew the whole context, but, fuck, was he close to. he squinted, seeing nick and y/n walking side by side towards the car, chris behind them on his phone. he couldn't read y/n's expression or chris'. they all got in the car awkwardly in silence. matt looked at nick for a quick nonverbal explanation, but nick shook his head like he wasn't allowed to say a word. with that, matt takes the cue to start the car and head home. in the rearview mirror, he sees ample distance between chris and y/n. chris' hand creeps onto her thigh, but she moves it off.
"you're seriously still mad?" chris mumbles, trying not to draw attention
y/n ignores him, staring out the window for any kind of distraction.
"this is ridiculous." he scoffs under his breath
nick scrambles for the aux cord and puts on some soft music to alleviate the growing tension. matt discreetly nods at nick for his idea.
other than the music playing, it's silent for almost ten minutes until chris starts instigating again.
"can we talk about it at least? y/n?" he pokes her thigh, but her gaze remains on the buildings that pass by
y/n's voice shakes, "no, not right now."
"so you're gonna be mad at me and not tell me why?" he rhetorically asks, raising his voice so that it overpowers the volume of the music
nick's eyes flick to matt's nervously.
"chris, let's not do this in front of them, please. just wait." y/n requests, fighting the urge to match his vexed tone, but it comes out even
matt lets it be quiet for a minute, then clears his throat, "so-uh, y/n, should i just bring you back to our place?"
her eyes meet his in the mirror and he gives her a comforting smile, mutely letting her know that the invitation is open but that she doesn't have to.
"um, yeah, if you don't mind." her eyes hold onto matt's stare longer than he expected, finally returning back to the window.
the rest of the ride is filled with an uncomfortable silence, everyone shifting awkwardly in their seats and checking their phones.
what felt like an eternity in the car was finally over as matt pulled into the garage. not even waiting for the car to be off, chris swings his seat belt off and gets out. y/n tries to keep up, quickly running behind him to where matt and nick assumed was chris' room.
after the garage door fully closed behind y/n, matt gestured for nick and him to get out.
"so you don't know what happened at all?" matt interrogates nick, locking the car
nick opens his mouth to start speaking, opening the door into the house, but puts a finger up to his mouth with wide eyes.
"what?" matt whispered entering the first level of the house
nick shushed him, steadily walking up the stairs to the second floor to reach the living room. curiously, matt did the same.
"i thought i heard y/n...it sounded like she was in pain or something...." nick spoke so quietly, matt had to step closer to hear him. the two brothers turned in the direction of chris' room, waiting for a sound, but there was nothing.
matt starts to walk away, "nick, c'mon-"
"mmh, chris, fuck..." y/n's muffled moan travels down the hall.
matt freezes, blood rushing to his cheeks and ears. holy fuck. the sounds coming from chris' room were borderline pornographic. y/n's sweet mewls mixed with chris' low groans could be heard over the sound of the skin slapping over and over again.
"wow, that was fast. usually, they fight a little more before this part." nick grabs his headphones routinely from the dinner table, "you know, i told chris not to do that shit when we're here anymore. it's fucking weird. but if he's not gonna listen to me, the least he can do is close his door all the way."
with no response from matt, nick looks to him. matt stands completely still, eyes glued to the hallway of chris' room, definitely not hearing a word nick just said.
"matt? what the fuck are you doing?" nick hits his arm, snapping matt out of the trance he'd been put in.
"what? sorry-i think i need to go to bed. i'm really tired." a lie so bad, he cringed the second it left his mouth. thankfully, nick had enough alcohol in him for it to go unnoticed for once.
"well, good luck with that." nick gave him a part on the back, slipping his headphones on and walking to his room.
once nick's door was shut, matt shuts his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. just go to your room, plain and simple. close the door and go to bed. matt opened his eyes, taking hesitant steps into the hallway. with each step, y/n's moans grew louder. it started feeling real, too real. he clenched his fist and held his breath, making it the space between chris' bedroom door and his; conveniently right across from one another. the sounds were no longer muffled and he could almost feel the heat radiating from the room. like he was being timed, matt slipped into his room, closing his door, but leaving it cracked the slightest bit open. peering with a fraction of his face, he could partially see past the crack of chris' door. the sliver he was permitted was of y/n. her eyebrows knitted together, both hands holding her up as she grips onto the sheets of the bed white-knuckled. her body rocks back and forth as she fucks into chris, who drills into her from behind relentlessly. she gasps every couple of thrusts when chris goes deeper. a string of their curses echoes throughout the whole upstairs. matt feels himself getting hard at the sight and sound her. it was so wrong, he knew that. a sudden wave of shame pours over him. if chris knew the things he thought about his girlfriend, matt was certain chris would shoot him dead between the eyes. so, making sure they don't hear, matt closes his door. he kicks off his shoes, peels his jeans and shirt off, and crawls into bed. it's pitch black in his room, leaving too much to the imagination. loud and clear, he can still hear y/n's erotic sounds. so pretty. even when she's getting her brains fucked out, she sounds so fucking pretty. matt had watched his fair share of porn in the past. he could never fully get off to how most of the girls sounded. sure, most of it is scripted after all, but none of it really got him going. there were always too screechy for him. but not y/n. she sounded like an angel.
he almost felt nauseous with guilt about these thoughts he was having. distraughtly, he turned over on his side, making eye contact with headphones that sat on his bedside table. maybe nick had the right idea. reaching for them lazily, he turned them on. a small circular red light blinked on the side indicating a dead battery. great. he rolled over onto his back, both hands pushing his hair out of his face. a loud slap sounded, earning a pleased whimper from y/n. matt's mouth formed an 'o' in shock. he didn't think she was into that...
he couldn't handle it any longer. the bulge in his boxes throbbing so bad it started to hurt.
just this once, matt...
lightly, his hand snuck under the covers, to his erection, palming it. he winced, the mere contact already giving him the relief he needed. another slap against y/n's ass echoed, working him up enough to touch himself underneath his boxers. grabbing the base of his shaft and stroking upwards, he shut his eyes, imagining he was the one making y/n sound like that. it was easy to tap into this fantasy for him, not being the first time, in truth. he could see it so clearly: him holding her hips, moving her body against his as he fucked into her. her soft skin sticky with sweat, little baby hairs clinging to her forehead as he kissed her lips and neck. he would take his time with her. not like chris. he would grab her neck if she'd let him, holding her securely. he'd leave little marks all along her tits. god, her tits. the thought of them alone was enough to make him cum right there. he'd fuck her as long as he physically could, as long as she wanted him to. and the face she'd make when she cums....the way she'd whine his name, holding onto him for dear life.
he was almost there, eyes screwing shut even tighter than before. his chest rose and fell at a brash pace, sucking in air, as he felt his release nearing. his free hand grabs onto his sheets, hips lifting up to fuck himself into his hand. so fucking close...
but then there's silence from the other room. mid-stroke, matt pauses, keeping his eyes closed. suddenly, chris' door slams. a meek knock on his own door causes matt's eyes to flash open in fear.
"matt...?" y/n knocks again, a little louder, "are you awake?"
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໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @soimightlikeoldmen69 , @sl0t4matt , @st7rnioioss , @sturn3ol0 , @vickyzloserz , @@mayhem-72
lmk if u wanna be tagged, hotties !!
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callofdudes · 1 year
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What are you reading??
A/N: this was requested by @thicc-plum so I hope y'all enjoy my friend. This took way too long, please let me know if you catch any spelling mistakes.
This includes 141, Alejandro & Rodolfo.
Summary: The reader gets caught reading a smut book and the boys tease the hell out of her.
CW: Brief depictions of sexual interactions, the boys 'teasing' you.
Y'all really want a part 2 huh... I've made you a lil part 2 for y'all.
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You were sitting alone at a table in the canteen. Lunch was almost over but you hadn't busied yourself with food. You were sitting in the corner with one of your books in hand. You always loved to read, but this book in particular you had refrained from reading around the others. It was... A different kind of book. Not one with little swordsmen going on long adventures to sweep away their friends from the perils of danger.
It was one with tension, heat. The kind that nestled in your stomach and bubbled up through your chest, making you feel a small, almost tangible piece of the intimacy you read about.
You were engrossed in the book. The atmosphere around you was drowned out as you read.
His hand guided her thigh, skirt riding up past her hip and their eyes met. Their breaths tangled in the warm bedroom, sweat soaking into the sheets-
"What are you reading??"
You gasp and slam your book shut. Your hands tremble as you push it away from you.
Johnny smirks, laughing as he sits down. "Oh you should see your face!"
You scoff. "Not funny Johnny."
Johnny grabs the book from your trembling hands and examines the cover.
"Oh~ what is this risque piece of artwork??" He flips through the pages, reading over some of the sentences. You attempt to grab the book back but Johnny puts his elbow up to keep you away while he reads.
His eyes go wide. "Woah!! That's some descriptive oral- my goodness!"
"Johnny!!" You jump and grab the book back, pulling it to your chest.
Your cheeks go red. "Don't tell the others, please??"
"Depends, can I borrow the book??"
"What are you going to do with it??"
"Read it, obviously. It looks good."
He gives you his signature smirk and you can't help but feel inclined to agree. You grumble under your breath. "whatever, I'll finish and then you can read it. But please return it!!"
Johnny nods. "Of course."
"By the way, you're late for your meeting with Price. You don't want me to tell him you're late because of an innocent little book, would you??"
He grins. "Wouldn't want dear old captain to know you're doing such naughty little things." He squeezes your thigh.
He stands from his chair.
Your cheeks burn redder, but the time manages to take your attention.
You look at your watch and curse. "Don't tell anyone Johnny! I'm serious!!"
He winks at you as he walks away. "You can count on me y/n!"
You grumble and hold your book close. Why on earth would Johnny want to read it?? Was he messing with you?? Or was he actually interested.
You rush out of the canteen and shove your book in your bag. You just hope Johnny wouldn't tell anyone what he saw you reading.
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You will admit, yes, you had it coming. You weren't doing your paperwork as it had gotten too boring too quickly and you'd given up for a bit. No one likes doing paperwork. The only ones who didn't complain about it happened to be Price, Ghost, and Gaz. You were none of them.
So you'd kicked up your feet and started to read your book. It was a book you'd gotten on leave and you had kept it fairly secret from the others, it wasn't a book you wanted them to know about.
It was better than doing paperwork. And much more fun.
You must have lost track while reading however, getting too caught up in the endless pages of sticky hot mess.
"He latched onto her neck, sucking a deep hickey into her supple throat. She cried out his name softly into the night, arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders-"
There was a knock on the door.
You shot up, scrambling immediately to bring your feet off your desk and straighten up. You slam your book back into the desk drawer.
"Come in!"
Price enters, making you gulp.
"Y/n, we haven't seen you for a while, I wanted to see how things are coming along in here."
He sees the enormous pile of paperwork on your desk and crosses his arms. You immediately look down and away, knowing you would probably be in trouble for this.
He sighs and comes around the corner of the desk, seeing the still open drawer with your book in It. He sees the very risque cover and pulls it out before you can stop him.
"Was this what had your attention??"
You gulp, getting anxious as he flips through the pages.
He hums thoughtfully. He flips the pages and reads through some of the things, his facial expressions changing with each new scenario played out in the book.
He eventually closes it and places it in one of his pockets.
"Captain-"
"Shh, I've seen enough. If this is what you'd like to occupy your time with, very well then."
"I'm sorry."
He tuts. "Be a good girl and finish your paperwork. When you're done, we can discuss this little book of yours."
Your cheeks burn red and you look away.
"Yes Captain."
"That's a good girl."
Price walked off, leaving a heavy feeling in your stomach. You had a weird new motivation to finish your paperwork though.
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The evening was quiet and the others were out. It was just you and Gaz on base and you were relishing in the quiet environment. Wrapped up in a blanket, the fireplace crackling a few feet away from you, nothing better.
With a book in hand the world could only be perfect. Your eyes feel tired, even as you read the book that always makes your stomach drop and your emotions rise.
You thought Gaz had gone to bed, so you felt comfortable reading it without the others around. You would always read this book in your room, it never saw the light of day around the guys.
"He whispered low in her ear, nipping at the corner of her lobe. His hands groped down across her collar, fingers tangling in her necklace..."
You continued to read, barely registering the creak of the floorboards. You'd assumed it was the house settling since you hadn't heard the door. Nor had you noticed the shadow bast behind you, soft brown eyes reading each delicately picked word with you.
Suddenly, you feel breathing near your ear. Your heartbeat quickens and your fingers feel tense. The feeling in your stomach growls hotter with each second.
"That seems a little naughty to be reading out here, don't you think sweetheart?"
You jump, nearly screaming as a voice cuts through your concentration, shattering the perfect dream of being wrapped in an embrace just as addictive as the words in your book.
Gaz grins, his hand touching your shoulder and running down your arm to flip the page of the book.
"K-Kyle- I didn't realize you were-"
"Shh. Read it out loud."
Your cheeks turn deep red. "W-what-??"
"Read it out loud to me sweetheart."
Your heart rate quickens and your voice catches in your throat. You want to say yes just as badly as you want to say no. But the way Kyle strokes his thumb over your hand made you willing.
"S-sure..."
Kyle hums. "Good. I think you'll want to finish this next chapter before the others return. You wouldn't want them to hear all the things you've been reading about."
You gulp, but you reluctantly start to read.
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You couldn't sleep. So naturally in the early hours of the morning when you figured no one else was awake, you turned to the kitchen for a snack.
You patter through the hallway with your book in hand. You turn on the kitchen light and make yourself some tea to soothe your body, considering you were sore from the lack of sleep.
You sat down at the kitchen table with your tea and opened your book. The cover was bright red with dazzling shiny line work around two figures. One holding the other in a more suggestive manner. Each chapter displaying a new set of characters put through taboo and risque situations. All of them leading to a spicy climax.
Literally.
You sunk into the quiet atmosphere and started to read. Your eyes drowned into the words, hands holding the book firmly.
"He pulled her back, his large hand wrapped tightly around her throat. His sneer could almost look evil to anyone who wasn't her. Treated like a doll in his large hands, putting so much trust into his punishments."
You gulp, not realizing how heavy your breathing had gotten until a hand wraps around your throat.
It catches you so off guard you whine. Thumb and forefinger pressing into the sensitive parts under your jaw, making your insides coil and twist.
You bite your lip, hands trembling.
Warm breath whisps over your cheek and Ghost's rough Manchester voice breaks the silence.
"I always knew you were into some weird shit."
His other hand reaches out and takes the book from you, inspecting the cover.
"Ghost-"
His hand tightens on your throat, making you moan quietly.
He hums, flipping through some of the pages.
Your cheeks start to burn, watching out of the corner of your eye as he flips. You can't see his face, you can't gauge his reaction. All you know is his hand is wrapped so nicely around your throat, body hidden in the shadows it makes you feel as small as the girl in the story.
He gets to a certain page and chuckles. "You are into some weird shit."
You grab his wrist, wanting to pry him away and wanting him closer. It feels like a dream how it is all playing out, you are scared you want more.
He places the book down and squeezes your throat, getting another soft moan out of you.
He lets go and chuckles. "I could do better than he can."
It makes you want to pass out. He lets you go and when you turn around he's already walking away. Your arms and legs are shaking but you rush after him, wanting to know what he meant.
He doesn't lock his door when he disappears, and you know all too well it's an invitation into the book you'd just been reading.
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(also I love this gif, look at Rodolfo just effortlessly toss that crate- boy you are amazing and I love you)
Look, everyone on base knew you were a little freaky at times. It was no secret to anyone. And it also wasn't a secret you might have a teensy tiny little thing for your colonel and the sergeant major.
That was not the point however.
You had just finished up a long day of training with the Vaqueros. You'd been out all afternoon, which was why you were a bit surprised you were being called into Alejandro and Rodolfo's office for a little chat.
What this chat was about, you weren't entirely sure.
But you finished up your routines and set off for their office.
You knock on the door, hearing Alejandro's voice beckon you in. When you open the door you're greeted by both Alejandro and Rodolfo. Alejandro is sitting while Rodolfo is standing next to him with something in his hands.
You would know that velvet patterned trophy book anywhere.
Your blood turns cold.
"Take a seat y/n." Alejandro smiles at you with that smile. The one that makes your heart flutter and your stomach flop.
You nod and take a seat. "What's this about?"
Rodolfo leans over and places the book in front of you. "Look familiar? It has your name written on the inside cover."
You gulp and nod, your cheeks going a bit red. "Yes sir sergeant, I know the book quite well."
"I think you would, considering how worn it, must get read a lot."
By now Rodolfo has come around to your side, one hand snaking up your arm to your shoulder and squeezing the muscles.
You gulp again.
Alejandro opens the book and flips through the pages. "Such a filthy book y/n, there's only one reason you could read this book so much."
You look away bashfully.
"Does it give you a high, Y/n??"
"N-no colonel!"
Alejandro stands and flips to a certain page. He taps the frame of the book and bends down in front of you, guiding your gaze back to his with his thumb and forefinger.
"Care to explain this then?"
You look down at the page he points to, you know it well. Rereading it over and over. It had crinkled edges from your sweaty fingers and dirt makes from the small traces your nails would leave.
You reread the words you practically knew by heart.
"She cries loudly, voice broken into sobs. The man behind her keeps a firm grip in her hair and tugs her back against him. The second man gazes down into her teary eyes, letting her breathe a fresh breath of air before plunging back into her throat."
Your cheeks were red enough, tainted deeper when you saw the scribbled names of your colonel and sergeant major at the bottom of the page.
Rodolfo's hand curls in your hair, his soft voice near your ear. "Considere esto su castigo por leer tal suciedad."
Your brow wobbles, but you can't run from them, you never could.
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anadiasmount · 1 month
Text
we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…
wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍
“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.
that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.
"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.
"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.
"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?
you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.
you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.
the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.
your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.
you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.
after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.
you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.
he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.
"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.
"how was training?"
jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."
you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.
"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"
"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.
"jude."
"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."
jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"
"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.
in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."
jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.
jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"
"well i beg to differ-"
"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"
jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"
"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.
"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.
"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?
the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.
as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.
as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.
"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.
"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.
"thank you."
"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.
you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.
you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?
you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.
when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.
jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.
he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.
when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.
"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."
jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.
"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.
"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"
"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."
"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.
"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."
after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.
"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."
after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.
"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.
"jude right?"
"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."
hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."
"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.
when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.
the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.
"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.
jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.
jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.
like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.
it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?
all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.
“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”
“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.
“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”
jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.
"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."
"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."
"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.
"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.
jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.
jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.
"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."
"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"
your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"
"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."
"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.
"what's your promise jude?"
"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."
"jude-"
"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.
you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.
"you love me jude?"
"more than what you think."
"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.
"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."
jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.
"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."
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kalinysu · 10 months
Note
imagine wife demon x muzan but she feels insecure and easily replaceable (maybe bc another demon kept "bullying" her) how would muzan react
𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄? — Muzan x F!Reader
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𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Cursing, Violent behavior.
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Cute idea, love this ❤️
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Lately, you had been avoiding leaving Muzan’s room in the infinity castle. He didn’t want to question why, but he couldn’t help but wonder. We’re you just being clingy, was something wrong? He didn’t think you’d be hiding or avoiding someone since you were the demon closest to him, and he prioritized you the most. He didn’t think anyone would dare mess with his wife. Every demon was well aware of your status.
“Alright, I’ll see you later darling.” Muzan said, leaning over and placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll hopefully be back by tonight.” He said, gently stroking your head before exiting the room. Today you were hoping that demon wouldn’t mess with you again when you went around the infinity castle. When you left, the second you were far enough away from Muzan’s room, you heard a familiar giggle. “Does Master Muzan seriously let you go around looking like that? Honestly, how could someone like you ever end up with someone like him? He must be toying with you.” The female demon said with a snicker. “He.. He’s not toying with me, stop speaking of him in such a manner.” You snapped back. The two of you went back and forth, the female demon practically following you around. You needed to leave the room for a moment, to take a small walk without anyone bothering you, but this woman obviously didn’t want you to.
“You know, the second he deem useless to him, your gone, right? You don’t matter to him. He only makes you feel special because you’ve had connections with that stupid flower and he wants you to get it.” She said, yawning a bit in a sassy way. “Once he knows you can’t do that—“ She giggled and slid her finger across her throat as her way of saying your dead. “Muzan would never do that to me.” You said, now making your way back to his room. “Believe whatever you want, your not even an upper moon. Right now, I bet he’s entertaining other women.” She said, finally leaving you alone when you went into Muzan’s bedroom.
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That night, when Muzan returned, you couldn’t help but burst into tears when he asked what was wrong.
Muzan was shocked. He had never seen you crying before. He was lucky he had practice with his fake wives in the past, otherwise he wouldn’t know what to do with you. He sat down on the bed with you and cuddled you until you were calm enough to speak. “T-that—that woman i told you about before..” You stuttered, sniffling and whimpering. “Yes.. What about her dear?” Muzan said, with as soft of a tone possible. You sobbed, explaining everything to him. “I-I just don’t want you to replace me—I-I really am insecure..” You said. “Insecure? Darling, you’ve got nothing to be insecure about. Your the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen in all my years of living. You don’t know the lengths I would go to keep you safe. Forget about that flower, even if you cannot bring it to me, i’ll still love you. No matter what.” He said, wiping away your tears and practically showering you with kisses.
Though you could feel his occasional tremble, he was shaking. You knew his was pissed off and was trying to cover it. “M-muzan… Please.. Don’t do anything harsh..” You said, looking up at him. He looked down at you and smiled, pulling you closer to his chest. “I won’t, dear.” he said. Holding you close and gently rubbing your back until you fell asleep. He kissed your forehead before leaving the room.
He was livid.
“Why is it you think your so privileged, you can go saying such bullshit to my wife when i’m not around?!” Muzan yelled, almost shaking the whole infinity castle when he slammed his hands down on his desk, his head down as he shook with pure anger. “M-master Muzan!! I never said any of that—i promis—“ Before the woman could say another word, she was cut off by his yelling. “Don’t fucking try to lie straight to my god damn face. Do you take me for a fool?!” Muzan yelled even louder, his patience fading quickly.
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“Muzan..?” You whispered softly, looking up at his dark figure moving towards the bed. Your vision was blurry, but you knew it was him. He got into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Shh, go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He said softly, smiling when you shifted to face him, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s.. okay..” You said in a sleepy tone, before drifting off in his arms. You couldn’t help but wonder.
Why was he covered in blood the first time he entered the bedroom and went to go shower?
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cherry-leclerc · 4 months
Text
all it takes ☆ mv1
genre: humor, fluff, angst
word count: 1k
cherry here!... i know it’s been a while - and i’m sorry! - but i hope a small drabble makes up for it! hope you guys like it!
Where Max doesn’t believe love exists for him until he finds his way to you. 
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Often, there would be times where Max wondered if there existed the possibility that something was wrong with him. Unlike him, his friends would fall into loving relationships - marriages, even - and he was just sort of…stuck.
At first, he really couldn’t explain it. He wouldn’t really worry, either. Until one day. 
“Max,” he stutters as he gently shakes your hand. You radiate so much happiness and innocence in life that it had him intrigued. 
It was a Friday night and he had agreed for drinks with Daniel and Checo to celebrate…God…he can’t even remember. He had kept to himself, occasionally jumping into the conversation that flowed between the other two RedBull drivers. 
He hadn’t noticed you; the Australian had. 
“Poor girl. She’s just trying to get a glass of water.”
Angling his head to look back towards the bar, he sees you. The way you keep raising your hand as if you were back in elementary school, waiting to be called on. To be noticed. The way your dress keeps rising up in the process. His breath hitches. 
“She’s fine.”
“Oh. You’re hitting on her!”
“That’s a first,” Checo teases as he takes a sip of whiskey. Max blushes.
“I-I’m not! All I said is that she’ll be fine - she’ll get her drink eventually.”
“It could happen a lot faster if you go over and help her out. C’mon.”
It took a bit of convincing, but reluctantly, he agreed. The Dutch tried to hide his nervousness with a smile. As he got closer, he made sure to wipe his sweaty palms against his jeans. 
“Hi.”
The moment you look up at him. He knew he messed up. 
“Listen, man, I’m not looking for a one night stand, so…shoo.”
Suddenly, he’s reminded of why he never bothers to try. Swiftly, you go back to ignoring him as you pick up on your mission. He narrows his eyes, clearing his throat before slamming his hand down against the shiny wood. 
“Can I get a glass of water, please?”
The bartender nods as he fills one up and slides it to the blue eyed boy before turning back to face greedy customers. Without a single smile, Max just hands it to you before waking off. You frown, bringing up the glass against your lips. 
“So much sexual tension. I could tell from all the way here.” Max flips Daniel off.
“Sexual tension my ass. She was a snarky little-”
“Hi.”
-
“Whoopsie! My bad!” Feverishly, you bend down to pick up Crofty’s microphone as you hurry to hand it back before continuing your run towards the podium. Moments like these would always feel surreal and you can’t help but feel fortunate to be a part of all this. “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse m-”
“Can’t you see she’s trying to get through?”
As soon as you make eye contact with the man who makes your world flip upside down, a smile slips onto your lips. Crushing him into a tight hug, you bury your face into his race suit. 
“You did it! You did it! Oh my God-”
“I’m used to it by now.”
You narrow your eyes at him as you lightly slap his chest. “Don’t do that, Emilian.” Heat rushes up to the Dutch’s cheeks as he looks around to see if anyone overheard. And there’s just no way the attention wouldn’t be on him. A Championship is all it takes.
“Oke, oke, that’s enough.” He lowers himself to whisper into your ear. “Do I get a prize or something like that?” 
“We’ll see.”
-
“All it took was two years.” Daniel leans back against his chair as he stares back at you and Max with wide eyes. “Two nasty years and suddenly there’s no more stone cold heart.” Making sure to grab your hands across the table, he rubs the diamond in deep thought before looking back at you. “How did you do it?”
“Pussy. That’s how.”A sharp gasp escapes past Kika’s lips as she punches Pierre’s arm. The Frenchman hisses in pain as he scoots away.
And up to this day, it still remains a mystery. As some cruel joke, your fiancé would joke and say that it was some sort of black magic. The joke later had to be retired due to Yuki getting goosebumps after a night of research.
Not funny, you would point out as you console the Japanese boy who sits next to his bright laptop.
It’s not my fault he believes it!
He believes everything, you know that, Emilian!
Stop it with that.
Brushing his long fingers against the nape of your neck, he smiles probably the truest version he was ever capable of showing.
“Her heart is pretty easy to love.”
-
“Pink or blue?” Tossing over to face you and your wedding sketches - that honestly looked like a plot of how to get away with murder - he groans. This isn’t a baby shower, love. Kicking him underneath the covers, you cover your eyes as the stress finally gets to you. “It’s a summer wedding! It would be nice! A pastel perhaps or maybe neon - ew no.” 
He’s about to laugh until he notices droplets sliding down your arms. Almost immediately, he sits up with urgency as he brushes your hair softly. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. Blue. Let’s do blue.” No. It’s stupid. And ugly. He winces as he kisses your shoulder. “It’s not!”
“Yes it is!” Bloodshot orbs stare back at him as you breathe heavily. “Daniel said it, Lando said it, God - even Pierre! Since when does he have better taste than us?” 
“Pierre has the mind of a newborn, how would he know?” As soon as you crack a smile, he eases up. “If you don’t like either, then we could try coming up with something new. How about green?” Your smile drops as you wail against his arms.
“That’s even worse! You’re lucky I love you.”
-
“All it took was a fight for you both to call off the wedding?”
Staring blankly at the wall, Max shrugged. Everything almost seemed to serve no purpose if you weren’t a part of his daily life. He had gotten so used to having you around and bouncing off the walls like a kid who had too much sweets. Where had it all gone wrong? He doesn’t even know.
“Her heart is pretty good at holding a grudge.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months
Note
Can we have more of domestic Jason but now with him needy of touch? 🥹
the reader got out of bed early to go drink water and he wakes up from a nightmare needing her and he thinks she left him and he starts crying in panic, but then she appears and calm him down with kisses, words of affirmation and lots of love.
Thank u! I love ur writing btw!!
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I don’t know if this is what you have in mind, the ending might be a little half-assed but I was half asleep whilst making this 🦦also thank you for enjoying my writing! It really means a lot!
Your side of the bed had barely gone cold which indicated that it hadn’t been long ago that you had left but it was the reason why you’ve left that haunted Jason, who was fresh out of a nightmare and drenched in his own sweat and finding difficulty in calming his uneven breaths.
He had meant to reach out to you for comfort.
Only to be greeted by air just as palm of his hand then hit the lukewarm mattress below.
It was enough to break Jason’s resolve as his innate belief that everyone he ever cared for was destined to leave him- especially you- began to worsen with every passing second the longer Jason allowed himself to be poisoned by the possibilities that you were gone. Disappeared. Or worse yet; taken.
‘Y/n?’ He calls out softly.
‘Baby?’ He tries again, a little louder this time, not having realised that his eyes had started to tear up and blur his vision of his dark room, or that a lump in his throat had started to form, making it difficult for him to swallow down his overwhelming anxiety.
‘Don’t leave me here…please don’t leave me all lone.’ Jason pleads with the darkness of his room as though that would be enough to give you back to him. ‘Haven’t I done that enough?’ He then asks as he clenched the bedsheets between his powerful hands, trying to bound himself to something to combat his discomfort in being left alone with his mind for too long. ‘Being left alone when I was proven too difficult to save? Too far gone to be helped? Am I just that broken to be given just a sliver of happiness?’ He cries out at he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he chocked back his own sobs.
Despite building himself a strong body that could endure punishment, the pain of that of an broken heart had been so excruciating it had Jason keeling over in bed, wanting nothing more then to tear it out of his chest as though it burned him; Or was it in fact just phantom pains from a heart that had been hollowed out by the hands of another.
The door to the room opened and golden light flooded in, eradicating the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole. ‘Jason?’ Your voice called out and Jason never felt more alive than he did in hearing you say his name in that angelic voice of yours, so much so that he didn’t notice that he had begun to cry harder but out of relief this time. ‘I thought- I thought you left. I couldn’t feel you. I tried reaching for you but you weren’t there.’ He began to say but was cut off when you brought him tightly into your arms.
‘Im sorry that I kept you waiting my beautiful boy.’ You cooed as your fingers reached up to comb through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp now and then to assure him of your presence. Jason didn’t hesitate to bring you into his lap as he buried his head deep into your shoulder, wiping his tears against your sleep shirt, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when he was holding onto you as though you were bound to disappear once he lets go. ‘Where did you go?’ He asks. ‘I got a little thirsty and so I went to get a drink of water.’ You explained, kissing him anywhere that was made available to you.
‘You’ve been strong for a long, long time and I’ve never been more prouder of you for holding out as long as you have with everything you’ve been through, it never fails to amaze me how resilient you are Jaybirdie.’ You felt his breathing even out as he began to lean back into the bed, still holding onto you. ‘You’re truly an incredible man for being able to stand on your own two feet and still find it within yourself to fight.’ You softly told him as you continued to hold him in your arms as he squeezed your waist in response. ‘I’m so unbelievably lucky to have someone like you in my life and I will do everything in my power to make you believe that.’ You promised him.
‘Even if it’s impossible and might take forever.’ Jason says, starting to feel the lull of sleep as it began to weigh heavily on his eyelids.
You smile softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. ‘Even if it takes an eternity I would still find a way to prove just how beautiful you are.’ You replied, nuzzling into him as his bodily warmth began to ease you into a sense of security. ‘You are the most beautiful man I have ever met Jason Todd.’ You moved to look him in the eyes. ‘A butterfly may not be able to see the colour of their wings but that doesn’t retract the fact that they’re undeniably beautiful.’ You added as you pressed a couple of kissed to his forehead. ‘Now gets some sleep my beautiful boy, I’ll be here when you wake up.’
‘You promise?’ Jason asked, biting back a yawn.
‘I’d be stupid to break a promise I made to you.’ You responded, thinking all was said and done when Jason brought a hand up to your face, showing you his outstretched pinky. ‘Pinky promise me that you’ll be here with me when I wake up.’ He says and you smile softly at the inherent innocence of that of a pinkie promise but still went ahead and linked your pinky with his, pressing a kiss to his calloused and scarred hand with reverence before resting it on his chest. ‘I pinky promise that I’ll be here when you wake up. Was that good?’
‘We’ll see in the morning when I get to wake up to you chipmunk.’ Jason replied, holding you more against his chest and fell asleep but you weren’t complying as you soon followed him into dreamland, your pinkies still linked to one another as a reminder of your promise.
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beetlejuicyy · 18 days
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Eraser | Ryomen Sukuna x reader
1. Ultimatum
Summary: modern!Sukuna has a tattoo of your name on his chest that he wants to get rid of. Can he, though?
Warnings: gaslighting, toxicity, mentions of cheating
Word count: 2,254
Series masterlist: 1. Ultimatum 2. Wash Away 3. Only Memories
Read on AO3
Notes: this idea popped in my head very randomly while I was listening to a song and it screamed modern day Sukuna so here it is
General Masterlist | Divider @rookthornesartistry
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“I want it gone.” Sukuna said, already irritated.
“Are you sure? Covering it up would be way easier.” If this bastard kept talking, Sukuna would rather cut his own skin and get the job done faster.
“I want it gone from my skin.” He growled and the guy quickly went back to the computer to search for an appointment date.
“Any other guy wouldn’t have treated you as well as I did!” Sukuna spat back as if that was supposed to fix something.
You sat down on the floor of your bedroom, back resting against the bed. You were tired of yelling and screaming. He would never allow himself to articulate the word love, not even in this fight that was about to end your relationship for good.
“Really? What else is there to be done? Fuck another girl in my own bed?” You replied sarcastically and he groaned in frustration.
You just couldn’t understand. He warned you that the wasn’t he goodie two shoes compliant man going to a 9 to 5 and talking about finance or computer science like your previous flings. He was running an underground illegal business and networking was the most important thing if you wanted to end up on top. Sukuna reiterated these things many times, as if they could overcome the indescribable magnetic pull you felt towards him. He shouldn’t have flirted with you so confidently and insistently if he never planned to let you in. But you eagerly nodded, dismissing all his warnings, all of Yuuji's, his little brother’s warnings that predicted exactly this moment. When you would find out he made out with another woman in a random club at 1:30AM while you obediently ate your vanilla ice cream and binge watched netflix.
“For the last time, woman!” He yelled, his hoarse voice coming from his throat filled the quiet room. “I didn’t fuck her!”
He was sitting in the doorframe of your bedroom, looking at your pathetic form on the floor. Head supported in your hands, your tangled long hair falling over your face. He had been banging on your front door for half an hour before you agreed to open it. He had smoked cigarette after cigarette, trying to relieve some of the stress. When you finally opened the front door to let him in, all the snarky remarks he had prepared faded away. Your eyes were swollen because of crying, the hems of your sleeping t-shirt, his t-shirt, wet with tears. He followed you back to your room, but he couldn’t bring himself to walk in, seeing you like this. Yelling and cursing at each other was easy, but resisting the sight of your pain was harder than anything he had ever done.
“Oh, yeah sure.” He couldn’t see your face because it was covered by your palms but he knew you rolled your eyes. “First you make out with her and then wait until she throws herself at you. Funny thing, worked on me.” Your voice was strained from all the yelling. Your energy had been used up almost entirely. Now all that was left was a bitter, quiet tone.
“I knew that little brat was too young to get involved in these things.” He mumbled more to himself. He pulled at the knot of his black tie. It was already lose enough. He was suffocating.
“Yuuji didn’t tell me.” You laughed. You were so tired of all of it. Your head fell back on the bed and you looked at the ceiling, as if the answer to your problems was written there for you to read. You didn’t need to see his handsome face to know one eyebrow was cocked in surprise. Damn his face and his black shirt and his perfectly tailored pants and his tattoos. “A private number sent me a video.” Sukuna’s tongue pushed against the inside of his cheek in frustration. “You could call it networking.”
He sighed. It was on video. All he could do was walk up to you, crouch down on the floor and try to resist the urge to touch you. You looked so beautifully devastated at 3:42 AM, only in your panties and one of his t-shirts, pretty legs sprawled on the floor, neck exposed just waiting for his teeth to sink in. But you already thought he was disgusting. It would only make things worse to admit that this sight of you turned him on.
“They’re trying to get to me, can’t you see?” Sukuna’s voice had never been so calm, so quiet. It was deep and throaty, coming from the utmost effort and consideration he held in his large body. “They know how important you are to me.” You only half smiled, as if he said something supposedly funny.
How come you didn’t know how important you were to him? How come he never told you how he felt about you? How come anytime you would seek reassurance from him you would end up in a sexual circumstance? He would tell you that you’re pretty, beautiful, sexy. He would make you feel like a goddess when he would touch you. And you would fall for it most of the time. But never, not once, express his feelings, his sincere and most vulnerable feelings towards you. You couldn’t do that for the both of you anymore. Sukuna seemed to understand the lack of trust from your silence, from the curled corner of your mouth forming a sad half smile, from your empty eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.
“I needed information, y/n.” The sleeves of his shirt were folded up to his elbows, a strong smell of cigarettes deeply impregnated in the fabric. You raised your head from the mattress to look at him, bloodshot piercing eyes staring at you closely. “It’s the easiest way of doing it.”
“Yeah, actually you’re right. I need a Prada bag I’ll just make out with the security guy and he’ll give it to me.”
“I can buy it for you.”
Slap.
Sukuna didn’t expect it. The stinging sensation your palm left across his cheek burned deeper than the surface of his skin. It burned inside his heart. He didn’t look back at you. He kept his face turned away, so you could see how the skin changed into a pinkish color, more vibrant than the pink of his hair. Sukuna took a deep breath, licking his lips, trying to find a way to contain himself.
“I knew you had been a manwhore before. But I really thought, I really wanted you to respect me.” Your words cut sharper than any slap could. Your voice was getting louder and shakier with every word, anger and misery mixed in a pitiful sound. “I was stupid to think you would really care.”
“I do.” He said between his gritted teeth.
“You don’t. You just proved it tonight.”
“I told you multiple times.” He placed both of his hands on either side of your frame at the edge of the bed. The smell of his musky high end perfume mixed with cigarettes and a slight scent of alcohol as he spoke intoxicated you. You couldn’t avoid him. “This is what I do, take it or leave it. You said you’re fine with it.”
“You’re saying it’s my fault?” Suddenly you became very aware of the fact that you were covered in minimal clothing and the way he was looking at you, that mix of anger and frustration, his clenched jaw, his soft lips, they all made you want to stop fighting.
“I’m saying you’re exaggerating.”
“You really want me to slap you again.”
“Only if you can bear the consequences.”
You pushed your knees against his body, trying to break away from the cage of his muscular arms at your sides, keeping you prisoner. He didn’t even flinch. You kicks became stronger and more desperate, fighting against him while he did absolutely nothing to you. Sukuna looked at you in surprise, not expecting to be pushed away like this. Usually it took him a few intimidating looks and some sugarcoated words to make you forget that you were mad at him.
No more gaslighting.
No more forgiveness without an apology.
No more loving by yourself for the both of you.
“What the fuck are you doing, y/n?!” He asked in a raspy voice, placing large hands on your bare thighs and forcing them flat against the floor. But now you pushed him away with your arms, although your hands weren’t sure if they should cling to his shirt and pull him close or push him away from you.
“You don’t love me!” Your voice broke and you started crying, salty tears rolling down your flushed cheeks.
You just did it. You said that one thing that had been eating you from inside out for so long, that thing that you were so afraid of voicing out loud. You stopped struggling altogether. Sukuna’s heart broke. He always thought he could get away with his way of living, even after getting into this relationship. You would understand. You would forgive. You would know nobody else meant shit and you were the most important person to him.
“I have you right here, silly.” He said, his hand gesturing to his chest. He was referring to the tattoo he got a couple months ago, a small addition to his collection, your name right above his heart. You were never into this kind of things but he came up with the idea and you guessed you were important enough to him to be part of the story on his skin.
“You can always cover it up.” You said, unable to understand that this was his way of saying I love you, his way of carrying you in his heart at all times. “But what about my heart? I can't cover that up.” You brought your knees to your chest, hugging them with your arms, resting your forehead on top of them. You were so small, so frail. Sukuna used to think you were a strong soul but it seemed that you were more vulnerable than you showed. He had just broken you. Continuously hit your seemingly indestructible outer layer, like a glass that cracked more and more with time, until it shattered completely tonight. He wanted to hug you, to comfort you, to reassure you. But you only wanted one thing. He knew the only thing that would give him a chance would be to say three simple words. And he couldn’t bring himself to say them. So he just sat there on the floor with you, while you sobbed your pain away. The strong and mighty Ryomen Sukuna whom so many people feared was reduced to silence by a woman.
“Go away, Sukuna.” You said when your sobs quieted down, your tears ran dry and your mind started to clear out. You rose your eyes to look at him, still standing in front of you. “Go away!” You said, louder this time, like trying to get a dog to stop following you.
“Do you really want me to leave, you brat?” He asked, hoping that you would change your mind in the last minute.
“Get the fuck out!” You yelled, grabbing whatever your hand found closest to you and throwing it in his direction. It was his pack of cigarettes that was now half empty. It hit him right in his chest before falling miserably on the floor. He didn’t even feel it.
Sukuna had been trying to get in contact with you for the past two weeks. Work had him busy and exhausted all the time but not enough to forget that you weren’t answering his calls, weren’t replying his messages. You even got rid of the airtag he had given you to know your location at all times for safety. He pestered his little brother Yuuji to talk to you but he kept saying you weren’t answering him either. The brat was lying, he knew it. These two weeks had passed excruciatingly slow for Sukuna. It seemed like you had given up on him completely. In an attempt to tend to his shattered ego, given that all hope was gone for his broken heart, he decided to get rid of the tattoo of your name on his chest. He wasn’t going to cover it, like you said. He was going to remove it for good.
“You have to sign here aaand here.” The guy at the reception handed him a pen for the paperwork. Sukuna was just about to sign when his phone rang. When he saw the picture of his little brother on the screen his heart skipped a beat. He was so pathetic. He really hoped Yuuji had some news about you.
“I’m busy, what is it?”
“Uhm, it’s about y/n.” Yuuji’s voice was hesitant, like he still wasn’t sure he was supposed to share this information.
“What about y/n?” Sukuna was growing impatient.
“I think… I think she might be going on a date.” Sukuna’s vision darkened. The grip on his phone was so tight his knuckles turned white.
“Not on my fucking watch.” He muttered between his teeth. “Send me the location.” He turned on his heels in a second, walking out of the building with rushed angry steps.
“Uhm, sir? Your appointment?” The guy at the reception yelled, confused.
“I ain’t removing shit!” He yelled back as he reached his motorcycle. Yuuji had already sent him your location.
《previous Ascension | next》 2. Wash Away
True Form! Sukuna x Reader
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natalievoncatte · 2 months
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On Krypton, vows had meaning. Proclamations were not made lightly, and promises were not given casually. Kara’s peers wouldn’t throw one out as a reassurance, or to settle an argument. They were a logical people. They didn’t deceive, didn’t speak words they didn’t know to be true, and didn’t give opinions that were not informed. Society was ordered and regimented, and everyone put the greater good before themselves. So if you made a promise, no matter how great or how small, you would do it.
Kara learned, later in life, that a lot of her birth culture was, to use an English word that had no equivalent in her language, bullshit. Kryptonians would, she thought, claim that they had no use for such a vulgar term for cavalier prevarication because they did not practice it. That would had been a lie.
Her parents bullshitted her. They bullshitted her about the society she was growing up in. Her world wasn’t a real of perfect logic and order, it was a hidebound, decaying ex-empire that put tradition so irrationally high on a pedestal that they let their world be destroyed and all but a handful of their people wiped out because tradition said that her uncle was wrong about the planetary core going unstable.
Nevertheless, when Kara made a promise, she meant it. When she said she’d vowed to protect her adoptive home with her life, she meant it. Those words all but signed her life away in service to the cause. She was this way in everything, from saving the world down to brining Cat Grant a precisely prepared cup of coffee. Her promises meant something.
That was why she filled herself with dread the instant a promise, given unthinkingly in the heat of the moment, tumbled out of her mouth.
I will always be your friend, and I will always protect you.
She’d dishonored herself with the promise, one broken as it was made. She held Lena tight, speaking with conviction, and promised to be a friend even as she lied, swore to protect even as she deceived. It was a promise that couldn’t be kept no matter what she did.
Kara had become human in so many ways, and it gnawed at her. Another English word that had no exact Kryptonian equivalent was freedom. A proper Kryptonian would be horrified at ideas that boiled down to “I can do what I want”; I can choose my career, my partner, my life. I can put fulfillment ahead of the role chosen for me by those who know better. Yet Kara had embraced it full throated, making choices whenever she could.
The one thing she would never give up was the value of an oath.
She was over the Pacific, thinking. She would come out here from time to time to think and clear her head when the city soundscape became overwhelming, and just let herself drift in the air. There were no texts to agonize over, no emails from Snapper, nothing but herself and the lapping of waves and the distant rumble of storms over the open ocean.
She’d been coming out here more and more of late, not to think but to avoid thinking.
Because Lena knew, and Kara knew something was wrong. She could be dense about human behavior sometimes, but she was no fool… and she had super senses. She could read Lena’s pulse and see infrared flush of her skin and spot micro-movements of her eyes. Kara wanted desperately to believe that nothing was wrong but her instincts said otherwise.
When Kara told her, Lena had gone stock still and stared at her with what Kara thought was hatred, bringing tears. She’d tried to tell her how sorry she was, but Lena had just walked right past her and only later returned to her usual self.
Almost.
Kara had thrown herself into it, going on a campaign of what Alex had called ‘peacocking’ for some reason, all but burying Lena with super-stunts like fetching fresh pastries from French patissiers. Lena had smiled and thanked her but there was something flat and distant in it, and Kara ignored it and insisted that all was well.
Out here, with just the storms and her secrets, she knew it wasn’t.
Kara fingered the crest on her chest, worrying her thumb over the crimson fabric of the El rune. This meant something. It meant both ‘hope’ and ‘stronger together’; the two ideas were inextricably linked but her cousin only understood one of the meanings, because Kryptonian pictographic language was complex, and he was not Kryptonian in any way that mattered.
That was another great failing, a promise that Kara made but didn’t keep. By her people’s standards, there was no shame in that; one did not bear the responsibility of a promise made under duress, or a promise that others demanded knowing that it couldn’t be kept.
The only one she’d kept Kryptonian was herself, deep in a secret corner of her soul that meant it if she said she’d be at your birthday party or bring you a donut. The part that treated promises like promises.
There was only one way to cleanse herself, and remove her shame. She knew what it was, but she was afraid. Kara had battled monsters and gods, faced death more than once, lost more than any person should have to lose in a dozen lifetimes, but there was one thing she feared above all others.
She feared that first honest look on Lena’s shocked face more than she feared an eternity without stars. She could live in the void between realities; a void without Lena would kill her more surely than any green poison.
Now. She had to do it now, before she lost her nerve. She flew back to the city, flew hard, slowing only to land on Lena’s balcony, softly. As she raised her hand to knock on the glass of the door, she hesitated, nearly turned back.
Lena opened it, and Kara let out a slow breath. Lena was wearing only a loose, flowing floral robe, with clearly nothing beneath it. Terror made her listen- if Lena had a guest in that state, Kara might just fling herself into the sun and be done with it.
She was alone. Lena shifted on her feet.
“Why are you all wet?”
Kara’s hair was damp with sea spray and she’d flown through a few clouds on her way back.
“I like to fly over the ocean and think.”
“Well, come in here already. Let me get you a towel. Do you want something to change into?”
Kara swallowed hard. No. She wanted the honor of her family on her chest right now. She needed it to make her brave, like her father said it would when he sent her into the void. She did take the towel.
Lena had been enjoying her tea and sad breakfast -toast with jam- before Kara arrived. She left it on the counter and sat on her couch, leaving Kara to pace.
“I can tell you’re upset,” said Lena. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything,” said Kara. “I have a lot to say and I don’t know how to say it. I haven’t told you the full truth and I have to. I need to. It’s eating me alive inside.”
Lena swallowed hard, her heart racing.
“Please don’t tell me you’re Batman, too.”
“Lena, this is serious.”
Kara swept across the room and knelt in front of her, and Lena’s eyes shot open wide in surprise. Kara looked at the carpet in front of her, unable to look Lena in the eye.
“A long time ago, I promised you I’d always take care of you, and I didn’t. I was lying to you when I said it and I lied to you for years after.”
“Kara…”
“Please,” desperation choked her voice, “let me finish. I owe you the full truth. I promised, and promises are sacred to Kryptonians. My soul will be stained forever unless I fulfill the oath I made.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Yes it was,” said Kara. “It was to me. It was everything to me. Please.”
Lena cleared her throat. “Okay.”
“I told you I lied to you to protect you. That was another lie. That’s not why I did it. I lied because I was weak and I put my own feelings ahead of doing what was right. I was scared. I was scared that if you knew it would change how you saw me and it would change our relationship. You were the only person I could almost be myself with and I didn’t want that to change. You were a safe person I could go to without having to be Supergirl.”
Lena was studying her, a soft hint of skepticism in her expression.
Kara stood up and paced.
“I don’t know how to do this, Lena. I may act human and look human but I’m not. I grew up on another planet with another culture and so many things about this world are just totally different from how I was raised.”
Kara took a deep breath.
“On Krypton we didn’t have queerness. People didn’t value freedom of choice. You did what society told you to do. You joined the guild you were pledge to at birth and married the person you were told to marry and had the offspring you were told to have and raised them to do the same thing. The same fucking thing.”
Lena sat up at Kara’s sudden, vehement profanity.
“I didn’t know the word freedom until I arrived here. I had no concept of it. I had no idea how fragile and precious it is. Sure, I talked about it and wrote essays about it in school, but I didn’t get it. Not until I met you.”
Kara looked at Lena.
“You are my freedom. You’re the first thing I’ve ever chosen, really chosen, in my life, besides being Supergirl. It was you that made me look Cat Grant and Alex both in the eyes and say ‘no, this is what I want, this is how it’s going to be for me and it’s my choice, not yours.’ Back home I never, ever would have even thought what I’m about to say now.”
Kara swallowed, hard.
“I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid it would change our relationship. I was afraid you’d hate me because I kept the secret too long, but I was also afraid of what has to come after confessing my identity to you, Lena. The next part is even harder.”
“Kara,” Lena began.
“I have feelings for you.”
Lena went still, her eyes wide. “What did you say?”
“I want to be myself with you. My whole self, my real self. Not the person I think I have to be to please someone else. I want to tell you everything you want to know about my home and my people and my life and I want to know everything about you. I want to hear you laugh for me and see the look in your eyes when you’re happy to see me. I want to care for you when you’re sick and hold you when you’re sad and be the person that matters to you like you matter to me.”
Kara sucked in a deep breath.
“I used to think I was happy just being Kara with you. Not being Kara Danvers or Kara Zoe-El, just me… but I’m not me without both of those pieces and being without them isn’t good enough. I want you to know the real me. The girl from Krypton who went to high school in California.”
Lena stood up slowly, clearly forcing her breathing even. She adjusted her robe around herself, and looked at Kara for too long a time, silent.
“I hurt you when I promised I’d protect you and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“What do you want from me? To tell you it’s okay?” said Lena. “Is that what you want? Because it’s fucking not.”
Kara flinched. She opened her mouth, then closed it.
Lena had given her this courtesy and she’d give it in return.
“It wasn’t just you, Kara. I built my whole life around you and your friends and they became my friends. You gave me a normal world. I got to be a regular girl when I was with you and the others. Do you have any idea what that means to me? What you did to me when you ripped it away? Do you have any idea how you’ve torn me to shreds?”
Kara choked a little, and tried to hold back the tears, and failed.
“I killed Lex. I killed him and I hid his body, myself. I killed my brother for you. And the worst part is I’d do it again. If it was him or you I’d kill him again.”
Cold dread flooded through her.
“That was my fault. That was exactly the kind of thing that I should have protected you from, and I failed you." Kara's breath hitched as she bit back a sob. "I should go."
Lena moved quickly and grabbed her arm tight. "Don't you fucking dare leave. You can't just say those things to me and leave."
Kara's nostrils flared as she sucked in a big breath.
"Lex told me who you were as he was dying. He showed me."
Kara looked at her. "Oh."
"I started to hate you. I started to believe the things he said about you. And what happened then? You told me! You just blurted it out!"
Lena choked down a sob of her own, and something in Kara shattered. Tentatively, carefully, Kara pulled her into a gentle hug, and Lena let her.
"I don't know what to do anymore," Lena whispered into Kara's chest. "I've lost everything."
Kara held her closer, breathing the soft scent of her shower-damp hair.
"I don't know what to do either," Kara admitted. "I just knew I couldn't bear to lie to you again, even by omission. I'll go if you want."
"You're not leaving," said Lena. "I don't want you to go. Promise you won't leave me."
Kara shivered. "Lena…"
"Promise."
"I promise," Kara whispered.
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wandaslittlelove · 22 days
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Destined Part 3
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Warnings: smut, fingering (r receiving), enchanted strap (r receiving), breeding, forced pregnancy
Series Masterlist
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It had been about a week since Wanda brought me to this cabin. Within the week she had been playing nice. No yelling, no magic use, nothing. Just pure sweetness. I’m not sure what terrified me more. She had been cooking meals for me everyday, leaving small lingering kisses on my cheek, and allowing me to have free roam of the cabin. She even occasionally let me outside.
The small cabin was surrounded by trees that seemed to stretch for miles. On one side of the cabin there was a sheep pin and the other side was a small little Garden that she would tend to everyday around noon. I wasn’t allowed any further than the end of the sheep pin which was something she made very clear on the first day I was here.
Now though as I sat in the living room watching the tv that Wanda had turned on for me before she went back through the portal to her “castle” I could feel a feeling rise up into me that signified something wasn’t right.
I heard the angry footsteps before I saw her. They echoed throughout the house as she got closer. The closer she got the worse the feeling in my stomach become.
Soon I was face to face with a furious Wanda and before I could say anything she was gripping me by the hair and dragging me to the bedroom. I was forced onto the bed and quickly found my arms tied to the bed with her magic. She angrily mumbled something before flicking her wrist causing my clothes to disappear.
“Wanda? Wanda stop!” I begged as she began to remove her clothes as well. Although that only seemed to make her angrier as she gripped my throat tightly.
“Shut up slut. I have not had a good day. Now be good and let me use you”
Bringing one of her hands up she began to pinch and tug at my nipples. I could already feel my body reacting to the familiar touch as I arched up into her and tried to keep from moaning. I hate that my body still wanted her after everything. As she pulled on my nipples the anger on her face slowly started to disappear a little.
As I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax a little I felt something rub up against my cunt. I opened my eyes quickly and looked down panicked only to be shushed by Wanda.
“Hush detka it’s okay. Mommy’s just going to fill you up with her strap okay. Just wanna feel you” I had heard that sentence multiple times. And by the wording I knew she had enchanted it. We had done it many times before with her always pulling out in fear I may actually get pregnant since neither of us really knew what her magic was capable of.
I gasped as I felt two of her fingers enter me before she started to curl and scissor them, stretching me out. Leaning down she kissed me softly before loosening her grip on my neck.
“Being such a good girl for me. Just gotta stretch you” she mumbled as my stomach began to tighten signaling my orgasm. She brought her thumb to rub my clit in quick circles and began to suck on my neck no doubt leaving hickeys behind. With a loud moan I came all over her fingers and felt her smile against me before pulling away.
As I regained my breath I was given no warning as she began to slowly enter me with the strap. Even being prepared I still struggled against my magical restraints as I felt my walls tighten around her. She let out a chocked moan before slamming into me fully. Her hands were on my hips as she breathed heavily with her eyes closed. Her lips were between her teeth and her grip on my waist tightened before she slowly pulled out only to roughly thrust back in and kept repeating it.
“God, you feel so good around me. So tight and warm. Never gonna get tired of being inside you” her thrusts grew rougher and faster as she felt my arousal leak around her as well as the remnants of my first orgasm. I couldn’t hold back the moans anymore they grew louder the closer I got.
As her thrust began to grow sloppy I could tell she was close. With a weak body I attempted to struggle against my restraints wanting to touch her.
“Mo- mommy please. Wanna touch you” she looks down at me and shakes her head.
“I can’t detka. Can’t- fuck can’t have you trying to push me away when I pump my cum into you. Strange wants to say my kids aren’t real I’ll fucking show him” slowly I became more conscious the closer she got to her orgasm. She was going to come inside of me and there was nothing I could do. I knew nothing I said would stop her and I was to powerless to push her off. And maybe a piece of me wanted this. Wanted to be hers and have a family with her.
Just the thought alone made me get closer and closer to my orgasm. And the tightening of my walls caused her to get closer as well.
“Cum with me princessa. Cum with mommy” with a loud cry of her name I came around her strap soaking it with my juices. Not even seconds later I felt her still and the warmth of her cum filling my womb. With a couple more small thrusts to make the cum go deeper she collapsed on top of me with a sigh.
After a few minutes she begins to pull out causing me to whine and she stops.
“My needy slut. I’ll stay in you for a little but then we have to clean you up and get you some water.” Moving around a bit she finally settled in with me laying on top of her strap still buried inside me and drops of her cum leaking out.
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andvys · 2 months
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter four ⭐︎ Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
Warnings: angst, mentions of death, mentions of loss, allusions to depression, fear of loss, hurt/comfort. reader calls her sister 'twinkie', mentions of abuse, mentions of sex
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: As Steve shows up on your doorsteps with an apology, you let him see more of just the you he already knows
Word count: 7.6k+
Author's note: shoutout to my co-writer (shut up, you wrote the dialogues and ideas with me, don't say anything) @hellfire--cult
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter
Breathe in. Breathe out.
His heart was pounding, his body was shaking, his eyes wide, blinking rapidly as he stared at the same exact spot. The dried blood on his hands was starting to make him feel sick. It was Eddie’s blood. He hadn’t cleaned it off yet, he was still in shock, still in pain after what they had all gone through. 
Eddie made it, he was going to be okay, his injuries were bad and he was losing blood, a lot of blood, but he would be okay. And yet, Steve had felt anything but it. 
He almost lost a friend, he almost lost Max, he almost lost… you. 
He was sitting down beside you, though he couldn’t bring himself to look up and face you. You looked so… dead. Your skin lost its color, and the bandage around your head was new, yet there was a blood stain already. The machines were beeping beside you, it was the only sound in the room. 
And then the door opened, only then did he lift his head to look up, expecting it to be your parents or maybe your sister but it was only Nancy. A cup of coffee from the machine outside in her hand, a sad look still resting on her features. 
“Hey,” she whispered as she walked towards him, handing him the cup, “here, I didn’t know what you liked so I just got you a regular coffee.”
They’d been together for over a year and she couldn’t even remember what he liked. Should he even be surprised? No. A small thing like this still managed to hurt him. 
“Thanks, Nance,” he mumbled as he tried to give her a smile. He reached for the cup, ignoring the way it felt when his fingers brushed hers, how his heart had fluttered despite her rejection only a few hours back. 
She cleared her throat and looked away, sitting down at the end of the bed, she looked at you. 
He took a sip of the hot coffee as he leaned back in the chair, he avoided looking at you still, instead he kept his focus on her, the way he always did. There was disbelief, anger and sadness flashing in her eyes as she stared at you. 
“I can’t believe that Jason did that to her,” she whispered, “I knew I saw something in his eyes, I just didn’t think that he was this violent.” 
Steve nodded. 
He too was still in disbelief. 
You survived the night in the upside down, you fought off bats, didn’t even bat an eye when one of them got you good, but Jason, you almost didn’t survive him. And Steve felt so much rage as he sat there and thought of the guy that almost murdered you. 
“Yeah, me neither.”
There are monsters in different dimensions, in dark worlds, ones that do not know of a different way of living, they exist to kill because it is in their nature. But sometimes there are worse monsters, ones that hide behind kind eyes, ones that are raised into a world that should be more humane but because of them, it never will be. This world will always be just as dark as all the other ones that exist in secret. Jason was one of the monsters that got to you. 
This world is a hell just like the ones he and his friends had been dragged into but there’s still kindness left, peace and order. Though, Steve couldn’t help but wonder what this world would have turned into if Vecna had won. 
He would have brought endless war and chaos on this planet and people would have followed, they would have turned against each other so quickly. Everything would have crumbled into pieces. 
Shivers ran down his spine as he thought of what could’ve happened had they not stopped him. You were a part of it all, you helped in stopping him, had you not been at the Creel house, things could’ve gone sideways so easily. 
“Hey,” Steve whispered, clearing his throat. “Thank you… You know, for jumping into the water and saving my ass back there.”
Nancy furrowed her brows, a soft laugh fell from her lips, she looked away from you and turned to face him, shaking her head a little. 
“Everyone did.. And, she did first. She jumped first on the boat and she jumped first into the water, then I followed, then Robin and then Eddie.” 
His eyes widened, flashed with confusion as he tilted his head at her. 
“Huh? Who jumped first?” 
Nancy’s blue eyes were filled with confusion, her bangs fell in front of her eyes as she turned back to you, saying your name. 
You were the first to jump. 
You were the one to go after him first. 
You wanted to save him. 
How could he throw such horrible words at you after what you had done for him? After risking your life to save him? 
He wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe the guilt that kept him up all night. He wanted nothing more than to drive over to your place and apologize, even if he would have to drop to his knees, he would. 
But Max had told him that it was better to wait, to give you the time that you need, so that’s what he did. But he was going crazy, the guilt and the regret were eating at him, making him feel worse and worse with each passing second. 
Going to work that day had been torture as well, he was nervous and restless, he kept bouncing his knee and tapping his pen against the unmarked crossword in front of him. His mind was forcing him to think of you, of the look in your eyes, of the tears and the hurt. He felt so awful, he felt like King Steve again and he is someone he despises, just the way he despises himself, right this second. 
Robin told him to leave before he could even finish his shift, knowing that all he wanted was to set things straight, to make things right with you. 
And here he is now, standing on your porch with a racing heart and sweaty palms. 
He doesn’t know how you will react to seeing him here, but knowing you, he is certain that you will slam the door in his face – he’d deserve it. 
He rang the doorbell once before, but you didn’t open it. He wonders if you saw his car in your driveway already. He rings it again, hoping for you to open, hoping for you to give him a chance so he can… try, try to make it up to you. 
He tugs at his hair, feeling more and more stressed the longer it takes you to open. As he stands there, staring at the wooden door, he realizes that it’s only the second time that he stands here, on your porch, on the doorsteps of a big house, just as big as the one he lives in, if not bigger. The inside of your home is just as much of a mystery to him as you are. 
Steve knows nothing about you, absolutely nothing and he still opened his mouth and threw words at you that you didn’t deserve – even when you pushed him, even when you were being mean to him, you had never sunk so low just to hurt him, not once. 
After he got all this anger off his chest, you were no longer the girl he saw before, you were someone else, someone vulnerable, someone heartbroken and that hurt even more to think about. 
He gets pulled out of his thoughts when you finally open the door. He snaps his head up and his eyes meet yours for the first time that day. 
He had seen you in a bad state before, after your fight with Jason Carver, after the surgery that saved your life, you looked bad. Your skin was marked with bruises and scars, you had that traumatized look in your eyes that no one dared to even mention. You barely ate or talked for the first few days, whether it was because of the surgery or the trauma that Carver had left you with, you were in a bad, bad state. 
But he had never seen you like this before. 
Not even the sadness from last night was this strong as the one in your eyes now. They are glassy, a mix of anger and hurt swirling in them. Your lips are puffy just like your eyes, from all the crying. Your hair is messy, a big hoodie that doesn’t even seem to belong to you hanging loosely on your form. 
Another pang of guilt hits him at the sight of you. 
You stare at each other for a long moment before you try to slam the door shut again, but he jumps forward, pressing his palm against it, “Blondie, please! I just want to talk!” 
He hears your sniffle, like you’re trying not to cry again. You stop pushing against the door but you don’t pull away either, you don’t let him see you. 
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he hears you say. 
“I-I just want to apologize, I was an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. I messed up.. fuck..” He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling desperate to fix this between you two, “I’m sorry, I’m really fucking sorry, Blondie.” 
“Y-You’re forgiven, now please leave..”
The weakness in your voice makes him feel like the worst person alive, knowing that he is the cause of your suffering, right now. 
How did you feel last night? 
“No,” he begs, shaking his head as though you could see him, “please just let me in, I-I want to talk to you, I want to fix it, please let me fix it.” 
You are silent on the other side of the door, you don’t move, you don’t speak. You hesitate. And it feels like forever that he stands here with a pounding heart, willing you to open the door and let him see you, talk to you. 
Without a word, you open the door and you step aside, crossing your arms over your chest. 
He swallows the lump in his throat, blinking as he takes in the sight of you, once again. 
You stare at him with both impatience and annoyance now, wanting to get this over with quickly, while he wants time – time with you. 
He had never felt such desperation before, especially now that he sees you. 
“There’s nothing to fix, it’s okay, you told me what you–”
He says your name, and he says it so desperately that it shuts you up. 
“I won’t leave until I can properly apologize to you.” 
You blink, your upper lip twitches and you take a moment, staring at him for what feels like forever until you nod. 
“Fine..”
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” you whisper. 
He takes a deep breath before he steps inside the house he has never been in before, he closes the door behind him and he can’t help but look around, taking in the sight of the big hallway, the wide stairs are on the right side, pictures hang on the wall all the way up to the second floor, there is one that is slightly bigger than the others, and even from afar, he recognizes you – you are no older than twelve in that picture, you wore a wide smile on your face, pigtails that were tied with pink bows at the end, you were wearing a dress and you looked happy in a way he had never seen before. Your big sister was next to you, holding your hand as your parents stood behind you both, the smiles were genuine, even on their faces. 
Only as he stares at the picture, does he realize that he has never actually seen your parents before. 
“Are your parents home?” He asks without looking at you, still questioning 
You hesitate. 
“No… I uh, do you want something to drink?” You ask awkwardly, not knowing what else to say or do.
Steve is too busy staring at the picture, trying to remember your parents, wondering why they didn’t come to visit you at the hospital, only your sister came to see you.
When he looks down at you, away from the picture of the girl that once looked so happy, he now sees a broken one, for the first time, he sees past those glares and cold looks. 
He runs his fingers through his hair. 
“I-I’m sorry… I’m really sorry about all the awful shit I said to you last night, I was angry a-and I let it out on you and you did not deserve this, you really didn’t deserve any of the words I threw at you.” 
You blink, and you press your lips together just like you did before, just like you did last night. 
“It’s okay–”
“No, I said things that I had no clue about and I never wanna do that again. I just, I want to understand you.. I want to get to know you because.. fuck, I’m realizing how much I’m hurting you.”
Your eyes soften and you genuinely look surprised at his words, eyeing him as you stay silent. 
You don’t blame him, he’s not at fault, not entirely. He knows nothing about you or your life, so how could he know that those words would cause so much damage? 
You carry guilt, just like he does. 
You both kept throwing knives at each other, hitting one target after the other but you were both blindfolded to the pain you were causing to each other. 
You shift, pulling at the sleeves of the sweater you are wearing, you close your eyes for one second, taking a deep breath, before you open them again and look up at Steve. 
“What do you want to know?” You ask, surprising him with your words. 
He expected you to be more stubborn than this, but you seem willing to let him get to know you, the real you. 
“Anything you want to give me really.. so… I just want to stop hurting you without me realizing it… I don’t… I need to stop hurting you, Blondie.”
You look at him, really look at him, and you notice that he looks just as bad as you do. His hair is messy – a very unusual sight for him. He has dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept all night and his eyes are filled with guilt.
With a sigh, you tilt your head into the direction of the living room, motioning him to follow. You turn on the lamp on the dresser, making the room appear lighter, it’s gloomy outside and the rain has been falling all morning, it only just stopped. 
“Sit,” you mumble, pointing to the couch, “wait here.” 
He nods at you and sits down, he watches you leave the room again and listens to your footsteps as you make your way upstairs. He looks around, there are fewer pictures around here, though still enough for him to get curious about your parents again. There’s a bouquet of fresh flowers on the small table in front of him – Daisies. A throw blanket lays on the other end of the couch, an open book next to it, were you reading when he got here?
It doesn’t take you long to come back into the room. 
Steve’s brows furrow a little when he sees the shoebox in your hand, you place it in front of him and take a deep breath as you look into his eyes, pointing to the box. 
“Here’s everything you need to know about me.”
His lips part at your words. 
“You can look, I’ll tell you anything you want to know and then we can… move past all of this and go back to the way things were before yesterday.” 
He blinks, noticing how your shoulders slumped a little, you don’t want to go back to the way things were, and neither does he. He enjoys the bickering but not when it means that he is hurting you. 
You break eye contact, and turn around, “I’m gonna get us something to drink, feel free to look..” 
And with that, you leave again and Steve, he stares at the box for a while, feeling like he is about to intrude, despite you telling him to open it, to look inside, he still feels like he is intruding. But his curiosity gets the best of him, he removes the lid carefully and puts it down on the table. 
Polaroid Pictures. 
So many of them. The box is filled, all the way up to the top with pictures of friends and family. The first one that catches his eye is the one of you and Max. He reaches for it, bringing it closer. You are both smiling into the camera, Max is wearing her red sunglasses and you are wearing your heart shaped ones, an ice cream cone in her hand and a can of diet pepsi in yours – he can’t help but smile as he stares at it, you looked so happy. 
The date was written under the picture, with a pink sharpie: May 7th 1985. 
He places the picture down, reaching for the next one. 
This one doesn’t have you on it, only your sister, with a black cat on her lap – Luna, the cat’s name was Luna, he overheard you talking about her to Max. And your sister, he doesn’t remember her actual name, only the nickname you called her when she came to see you at the hospital; Twinkie. He almost laughed at that, the first time he heard it.
The next one is one of you and your dad at the beach, he recognizes him from the picture in the hallway. Both of you were holding surfboards. Your eyes shone with happiness, a bright grin on your face, your dad’s arm was wrapped around your shoulder. In this picture, you looked even happier than in the one from last year. – This one was taken in the summer of 1981, you were only fourteen. 
He flinches a little when you place a soda can in front of him, “here, I found some coke in the fridge, figured you’d prefer that.” 
He raises his brows and then looks at the pepsi you’re holding in your hand. 
“Oh, thanks,” he mumbles, trying to smile. 
You nod at him as you sit down beside him, looking at the picture that he’s holding. 
“We spent the summer in California, my parents had a summer house in Monterey.” 
“Had?”
You nod. 
“Yeah,” you whisper as sadness takes over your features, a sadness he hadn’t seen before. It’s not the kind that he had seen last night. It’s one that reminds him of grief, like the one on Max’s face when she mentions Billy. 
Oh no. 
“My sister sold it last year, I asked her not to but.. for some reason that house gave her more painful memories than this one,” you say as you gesture to the room you sit in, you lean forward, placing your drink on the table as you reach for a picture in the box, “that was.. that was two weeks before they uh.. got into an accident.” 
You hand him a picture but he can’t look at it yet, too busy staring at you and at the way you try to hide the tears in your eyes. 
Steve’s heart aches in his chest, the guilt eating at him like never before. 
“I-I’m so sorry, Blondie,” he whispers as he slowly looks down at the picture, at your parents who both smiled into the camera. That one was also taken in the summer of 1981.
Steve started to feel a little sick as the seconds went by, at each picture that he looked at.
“Twinkie and I took the flight back with our grandparents, we wanted to spend one more week with them in Indianapolis before going back to Hawkins, we didn’t know that this would be the last time we’d ever see them.” 
His heart no longer aches at your words, it breaks for you. He didn’t know this, he never knew anything about you. You lost your parents when you were so young, right before your first year in high school. 
Now he understands why you had always looked so.. lost. 
Why you had been so rude and unapproachable. You pushed people away while you were grieving, you didn’t want anyone to see.
He doesn’t know what to say, no words will give you the comfort that you still clearly need. 
“I-I never knew.”
You chuckle as you look at him, still blinking away those tears, “I didn’t want anyone to know, especially not when it just happened.”
“Why not?”
“I’d forever be the girl that lost her parents, and honestly, I’d rather have the whole school hate me than give me pitiful looks.”
“Of course,” he mumbles, shaking his head at you. 
“What?” 
“Nothing,” he shrugs, running his fingers through his messy hair after he puts the picture down, “you’re just so… I don’t know, it’s just.. classic you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, not with anger in your voice but with curiosity. 
“Well, you’d rather have the whole world hate you than let them see you vulnerable.” 
You shake your head at him and his eyes meet yours as he turns back. There is that look in your eyes, the one that reminds him that he doesn’t know anything about you. 
“I let some see.” 
Right. Some. 
He nods and looks away. 
He’s surely not one of those that you let see.
When he reaches for the next picture, he freezes, staring at the two little girls with wide eyes. It’s not hard to figure out who the one next to you is. Strawberry blonde hair, the two front teeth way too big for the small face, she was wearing a cheerleader costume – not knowing that she would’ve become cheer captain years later. Chrissy Cunningham. 
The girl next to you was Chrissy, you were hugging each other from the side, giggling. 
He looks at you, you were wearing a fairy costume, green and pink colors on the dress, and your smile was big. You looked happy. 
He shakes his head a little, not understanding what he sees in front of him. 
He had never seen you and Chrissy around each other, not even once. In fact, he rarely ever saw you around anyone for that matter. Sometimes he saw you talking to Jonathan, something that gave him more of a reason to dislike you back then, he’d throw the word ‘freaks’ at the two of you whenever he passed by you. The memories of that fill him with guilt and regret, he always wishes that he could turn back time and change things, change the way he acted. 
But he never ever saw you even talking to Chrissy.
He slowly turns to face you, holding up the polaroid, “y-you and Chrissy knew each other?”
You only glance at the picture before you look down, “yeah, we were childhood best friends, we grew apart but… we still kept in touch. She’d stay over sometimes.” you explain, not meeting his eyes.
You lost your parents. You lost a friend. 
His words from last night echo in his mind and the guilt crashes over him, harder than before. 
No words appear before him, what can he say that will make you feel better in the slightest? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 
But the monsters have gotten to her without her knowing about them.
That’s what Max had told him. Now he understands. Even more so, when a different picture catches his eye, one that shocks him even more than the previous one. 
Only this time, he doesn’t just freeze, he feels a shiver running down his spine and his chest feels weird, all of a sudden. Because the guy in the picture isn’t someone he ever expected you around with. 
He takes it, between his thumb and his forefinger, bringing it closer with a shaky hand. He blinks, like he can’t believe what he is seeing, but it’s real, it’s so very real. No amount of blinking will transform the guy into someone else. It’s unmistakably Billy Hargrove in your collection of polaroids, a collection that reminds you of the people you loved. The box of memories that is frozen in time. 
Billy is sitting on the hood of his car, a cigarette held between his fingers as he snickered at the camera. It was taken back in 1984. 
You were friends with Billy Hargrove? 
He can’t even utter a single word, just reaching for the next picture which is just another one of him. 
Billy was lying on the grass, probably in your backyard, his eyes were barely open but he was smiling into the camera, with a thumbs up in the air. It’s clear that he was drunk when you took that picture. 
He feels your eyes on him, he notices you shifting on the couch as you lean back, still looking at him. He doesn’t turn to face you, not yet. Too curious to find more pictures of Billy, he doesn’t expect the next ones to be more intimate than the ones before. 
He stares at the one of you first, it looks as though you have cried, but you are smiling, and the only thing that covered your body was a blanket, while pushing the camera out of your face. 
And for a moment, Steve can’t help but think how beautiful you look in this picture with your hair all messy, your exposed skin looking so soft and glowy beneath dim lights, and a smile so content. 
But the picture of Billy makes him frown. He was sitting on your bed, shirtless and with a cigarette between his lips, his eyes were red but he was smiling just like you were. 
It’s obvious what happened before these pictures were taken and he can’t shake the weird feeling in his gut, the longer he looks at them. 
Were you and Billy dating? 
Is that why you have been so miserable since last summer? Because he was just another name on the list of people you have lost?
As though you can read his mind, you lean closer to him, reaching for the first picture you ever took of him, the one where he sits on the hood of his car. 
“I ran into Billy at Big Buy’s, well, behind the building. He was smoking a cigarette and he was crying. I hadn’t seen him before, it was the weekend before school started again. I approached him and he obviously tried to scare me off, but… fucker didn’t know who he was talking to,” you chuckle. “He was being rude, like really rude, calling me names and trying to get me to leave, I stepped on his foot and he yelped, literally yelped. I left after that but uh, after that, we just started pestering each other at school and then one day, he showed up here, with a bleeding nose and a busted lip, he didn’t know where else to go.”
Steve watches you, the way your eyes are filled with sadness as you look at the pictures in front of you. 
“It took him a while but eventually, he opened up to me, about his dad and everything.”
He knows about Billy’s dad, about the abuse, the emotional and physical abuse. Max told him all about it. 
“So uh, then that happened,” you murmur, awkwardly, not meeting his eyes as you point to the pictures of the two of you only covered by the sheets. 
“Were you two dating?” He asks, and somehow he feels a knot in his stomach at that question. 
You scrunch your face up at his words, almost in a way that makes him laugh. You shake your head at him. 
“Fuck no. We weren’t even attracted to each other. I just, at that point we were close and I trusted him so uh.. I just wanted to do it with someone that I felt comfortable with and uh, the beer helped too, I guess,” you say with a small smile on your lips.
Steve turns away from you, biting the insides of his cheeks, the knot slowly undoing itself in his belly.
“We never mentioned it again after this, it wasn’t awkward or anything, we were just.. best friends.” 
There is no bitterness in your voice, he notices. You had no feelings for Billy and that for some reason, and that for some reason makes his shoulders relax.
He looks back at you when he feels your eyes on him, your smile has fallen.
“He came to my house… you know.. after he beat you up and he was drugged by Max.”
He raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips. 
“What?”
“I told him that it was wrong, what he did, that you did the right thing, that I told him time and time to lay off Max. Damn, I even slapped him across his head when he broke her skateboard.”
His eyes soften, and his lip twitches. 
“I-I was doing the right thing?”
“You protected Lucas. When I found out how he was treating him I got so mad at him, we got into a fight and I didn’t talk to him for days. I just hated what he did to him and to Max,” you mumble, breaking eye contact when the look in his eyes gets a little too intense for you. You also didn’t like what Billy did to Steve, but he doesn’t need to know that. “Billy he was.. driven by his father’s words and actions. The abuse turned him into that. He was vulnerable with me, but– the anger was still inside of him… bright red.”
As Steve looks back at the pictures, he realizes that he had never seen Billy like this, happy, smiling. He almost looks like a different person. Regret floods through him, he can’t help but wish that he would’ve gotten to know this side of Billy, the one that you knew, maybe things would’ve gone differently if he did, maybe Max wouldn’t have lost her brother. 
“I never saw Hargrove like this.”
“No one did,” you shrug, “only me, sometimes Max. I-I tried to change him and his dumb views but Billy was just.. stubborn and angry.” You shake your head, blinking away the tears that welled up in your eyes, you close them and tilt your head down. “A-And then he pushed me away when he.. when he was possessed.” 
Steve notices the way your voice got so much more shaky than before, how you seem to be on the verge of tears. 
“Max,” he whispers, now understanding why or who the reason was for your friendship. 
“Yeah… Max. We received letters, well, notes from Billy,” you mumble. 
He watches how you bring your hand up to your face, wiping away the tears with the sleeves before you reach for something in the box, a folded piece of paper that you hand to him. 
“He told me to stay away in mine, all messy, but he said that he didn’t hate me, that he could never..”
Steve doesn’t open the note, your words are enough, he doesn’t want to intrude more than he already did, he understands this enough. Billy pushed you away to keep you safe, and he did it with cruel words to keep you away, because he knew that that would work with you. 
Steve is at a loss for words.
“And Max, he called her his sister in hers. She didn’t read the note until a few weeks later though.”
Steve’s eyes widen, and it all clicks in his head. 
Why Max had been suffering as much as she did in those months after Billy’s death, why she seemed more depressed than ever when the summer was over. 
“Is that why you are so close with her? … For Billy?” 
“Yeah,” you whisper, nodding. “She’s like a sister to me, I’d do anything for her.”
And you did. You did and you almost gave your life protecting her. 
“And I almost lost her too.”
Just like everyone else you loved and cared about. 
Steve’s words did more damage than he thought they did, and they echo in his mind, over and over again. 
Don’t you ever ask yourself why you don’t have anyone? Why no one bothers to stick around because I’d be really surprised if someone did. 
The nausea that fills him almost overwhelms him, it almost knocks the breath out of him. He swallows harshly, and he starts to put the polaroids back into the box, blinking as he looks at each and every one of them again. 
His eyes linger on the one of you smiling, the one from the year before. When you found your happiness again when a new friend had stepped into your life. 
Steve couldn’t stand Billy Hargrove, he really couldn’t stand him, but his death was cruel and even he didn’t deserve what happened to him and you didn’t deserve to lose another person you cared about. 
You lost. You lost people, you lost family, you lost friends and you lost your spark, your happiness. And now he understands why you are the way that you are. Why you keep pushing everyone away, you’re scared to lose again, scared to get too close to someone only to watch them being taken away from you. 
As he stares at your smile, he can’t help but frown at the picture in his hand because he will never get to see this. He will never see you like this with him and in this moment, he can’t help but envy those who will. 
“You are right.” His voice sounds small, filled with regret, filled with sadness and hurt.
“Huh?”
“I don’t know what loss is. I– shit. I don’t know if I could have handled it like you did.”
You feel your eyes burning at his words and before you can even try to blink your tears away, one falls from your eye. 
Steve’s eyes soften when he hears your sniffle, he watches the tear roll down your cheek. He moves without thinking, raising his hand up to your face, he catches the tear with his thumb.  
You freeze and your lips part in surprise, his touch giving you butterflies despite what happened yesterday. 
His touch feels so foreign on your skin, yet comforting and warm, like something that you have been craving and longing for since always. You slowly turn to face him and only then, does he realize what he did. 
His cheeks flush red and his eyes fill with embarrassment, he clears his throat and pulls his hand away from your face, not knowing that this makes you feel empty again. 
“I’m sorry too,” you whisper, apologizing to him, for the first time. “Knowing that they’re alive yet still deciding to leave you behind.. that’s not easy either.”
He appreciates your words and his lip twitches, he shrugs, trying to play it off – The pain he always endured by himself and never voiced out, and he won’t start doing it now. It’s done with.
“I have the kids and Robin.”
“Right,” you whisper as you push yourself up, unable to sit here with him any longer, you reach for the box, ignoring the confused look that he gives you, “they take care of you.” 
He noticed the sarcastic tone at that last phrase, but he nodded either way. 
“Okay uh, time to go, Lego head. I need a shower.”
This time, he can’t help but smile at the nickname. 
“Okay, Blondie.”
You lead him back out into the hallway, avoiding the hazel eyes that fill your heart with nothing but sadness and longing. 
You feel your heart pounding, your eyes still burning as you feel yourself nearing the edge of yet another breakdown this day. 
“Hey,” Steve whispers, taking a hold of your arm he pulls you back so he can see your face again. 
“Yeah?” 
Your eyes show him so much and now he can’t help but wonder if these emotions have always been there and he was just too blind to see them or if you only showed them now. 
“I’m really sorry about everything,” he whispers. 
Your lips twitch, though not into a smile. 
“Me too, Steve.”
He keeps holding your arm, ignoring the wish to hold you instead. 
“Are we.. good?” 
His question makes you laugh and you squint your eyes. 
“When have we ever been good?”
He rolls his eyes, though he can’t help but smile. He brings his left hand up, running his fingers through his messy hair.
There is that look in his eyes, the one that shows you that he is thinking about something, deeply. 
“Do I still call you Blondie…?” He asks as he realizes that he had always called you by a name that must have taken you back to a time where you had felt the saddest, the loneliest. You were fifteen when you had bleached your hair and tried out new styles, all the time. He never knew that it was something that you needed to do, to distract yourself from the grief. You had no friends, no one to talk to, no one to be with. You only had that – box dye, makeup and new clothes every week. 
Oh. 
You swallow the lump in your throat, digging your nails into your palm. He knows. 
“I would be mad if you didn’t. It’s weird when you say my name, Harrington.” 
He chuckles, shaking his head a little.
“Yeah yeah, Blondie, keep acting like you don’t like it.”
You smile, though it doesn’t reach your eyes and he can see it.”
“I guess we’re still Lego head and Blondie then, huh?” He asks, snorting. 
“Always.”
He licks his lips, nodding. 
“Always,” he chuckles as he lets go of you and walks towards the door, he opens it, but he doesn’t step out, right away. He looks back at you, one more time, “you know, I didn’t mean a single thing that I said to you, last night. And I’ll do anything for you to believe me. B-But, I think that you’re amazing and the people that had the chance to get to know you… the real you were really fucking lucky.” 
He leaves you with those words, closes the door and walks away from you. 
And you stare at the front door for what feels like forever before you finally break into tears. You were pushing away your pain and your sadness but the fight from last night, his presence and his words have made it all so much worse again. 
You bury your face in your hands as you sit down on the stairs, letting tears fall that you haven’t felt in ages but instead of relief, you feel frustration running through you. You didn’t miss this, you didn’t miss this for a single second. 
There is a knock on the front door and it fills you with annoyance when you expect it to be Steve again. 
Wiping your tears with anger, you rip open the door, expecting to see him again but instead it’s Max on your doorstep. Max and Eddie. 
You blink, looking between them, back and forth. 
Max’s blue eyes fill with worry as she looks into your glassy eyes. 
Eddie smiles at you, despite matching the look in her eyes. 
“Hey, you didn’t let me come in yesterday so I assumed that if I brought Red here you would let us in,” he says, still smiling cheekily. “We brought movies and got your favorite snacks,” he points to Max’s backpack.
You don’t know what comes over you, but the kind smile on his face, of the guy that has been trying desperately to be your friend, makes you want to continue crying. You don’t know how, but you keep your tears at bay.
You know that they can see that you were crying, but it brings you comfort to know that neither of them will push you to talk about anything. 
“Hey guys,” you try to put on your best smile as you greet them, you step aside without another word.
Eddie’s smile widens, he bumps his shoulder into Max. 
“Hey,” she smiles, still eying you worriedly, “are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod, placing your hand on her shoulder, “I’m okay.” 
She doesn’t look convinced but she doesn’t push you to talk, she doesn’t ask any more questions either. She just walks straight into the living room. 
“She feels at home, huh?” Eddie chuckles. 
“It’s basically her second home so yeah,” you laugh. 
His brown eyes take you in, his lips twitch but his smile doesn’t fall. He looks like he wants to say something but he doesn’t speak up. 
You both follow Max into the living room, expecting her to be unpacking the snacks but instead she stands there frozen in place as she stares at the box of polaroids.
Your eyes widen and in panic, you rush over to the coffee table, wanting to close the box. 
“S-Shit, I’m sorry–”
“No!” She grabs your hand before you reach for the lid. “I-It’s okay, I’m okay. A-Are you though?” She asks as she looks away from the pictures of Billy. 
Eddie looks between you two, furrowing his brows as he takes a step closer. He looks into the box and his eyes widen instantly. 
“Holy shit, is that–”
“Eddie don’t,” Max warns him.
You shake your head, “no.. no, it’s okay, Max.”
Eddie doesn’t even look at Max or you, he is staring at the picture of her brother, in shock. 
“I-I promise, it’s okay,” you mumble, pinching the bridge of your nose as you feel your heart starting to pound again, “I just.. I need some fresh air, I’ll be right back.” 
You leave the room, rushing out of the house. You sit down on the porch steps, taking a deep breath. The earthy smell that lingers after the rain comforts you a little. 
You knew you wouldn’t get more than a minute to yourself, because only moments later, the door opens. You know that it’s Eddie, you hear the flick of his lighter, and seconds later, the smell of smoke fills the air, mixing with the smell of the after rain. 
You hear his footsteps and then he sits down next to you. Without a word, he offers you the cigarette. You take it, placing it between your lips, you take a drag and blow out the smoke. 
Eddie doesn’t talk, he just wants you to know that he is here because he wants to be, he wants to be your friend but you don’t want to lose him too. 
“I lost a lot of people I cared about, Eddie.. Every single one of them, my parents, Chrissy, Billy.. I almost lost Max and you too,” You trail off, taking another drag before you hand him back the cigarette. “And I can’t lose any more people, Eds.”
He stares at you with his big sad eyes that you can’t bring yourself to look into for longer than two seconds. 
“I feel like I’m fucking cursed or something. Everything that I touch immediately rots. That’s why I just.. I keep pushing you away because I already lost a best friend.. so just please.” 
He sees the way you’re blinking, the way your hands are shaking just like your voice is. He knows what you’re asking of him and he only shakes his head in response, moving closer to you as he feels his own eyes burning. 
You’re his friend, a friend that he doesn’t want to lose either. 
“Nah.. It will take a whole swarm of demobats to rip me away from you. And even then, hey, I will still survive, already did once,” he tries to crack a joke but only makes you tear up even more. 
You finally turn to face him, looking into the kind eyes of your friend before your eyes move down to his neck, to the bandaid that covers his scar. 
“But–”
“No buts. You are not cursed. You are not responsible for anything that happened to those people. It’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to love, Darling. Let yourself do it,” he says, smiling as he throws his cigarette on the pavement before he wraps his arms around you, bringing you closer, “and stop pushing me away, please.”
Your bottom lip trembles and the tears flow like a waterfall, you stop fighting it, you stop fighting him and you let him pull you into his arms, closing your eyes as you lay your head on his chest, letting yourself fall into the hug that you so desperately need. 
“Let it out, sweets.”
The soothing tone in his voice makes you cry even harder, your tears seep through his shirt but he doesn’t mind, he rubs your back and holds you. Your heart is crying, your brain is banging, your breaths are cut short thanks to your sobs, but it’s something you needed. And even through all of that, you are feeling so relieved, so light at each sob that rips out of your throat. 
And when you feel Max’s hand in yours, her head on your shoulder as Eddie still holds you, you know that everything will be okay, that you will be okay. You might not need anything else for now… these two people right here are making you feel fuller than you ever felt in the past year.
You won’t lose them. 
You won’t have to live without them. 
They will be more than just a short time. 
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