#team shenanigans

[ejzah]

A/N: The team does not like planned bonding activities.

***

Mosley, looking uncomfortable as she faces the team: I was speaking to Hidoko earlier today and she suggested that it might be helpful to participate in…a bonding exercise. As such, I’ve scheduled the entire team to spend three days at a ranch that specializes in these kind of things.

Eric, nervously raising his hand: Ma’am, I’m not sure that’s such a good thing.

Mosley: Why not?

Deeks, clearing his throat: Historically, our team has not had the best outcomes during team-bonding like activities.

Hidoko: What does that mean?

Kensi: Well, we’re very competitive and intense people.

Nell: A lot of big personalities. Really big. Even if they’re in small bodies.

Deeks, under his breath: Read completely insane when there’s any kind of prize at stake.

Mosley: That sounds like a weak excuse to get out of something you’d rather not participate in.

Callen, shaking his head: You wouldn’t say that if you’d been there for the Great Paintball Battle of 2014.

Sam, grumbling: My back has never been the same.

Kensi: A lot of blood was shed that day.

Mosley, skeptically: From a paintball game?

Deeks: It was brutal. Nearly as bad as when we mini golfing. We do well at bars. Or barbecues. As long as there’s not horseshoes or cornhole.

Mosley, throwing her hands in the air: I give up.

Callen, reaching to Deeks once she’s out of ear shot: Nicely done.

Deeks, shaking his hand: Thank you. Another group activity successfully averted.

Hidoko: I didn’t hear any of this.

#ncis la #marty deeks #kensi blye #Sam and Callen #Eric and Nell #Hidoko #team shenanigans #dialogue drabble

[autisticlancemcclain]

There was a certain number-of-pod-incidents hierarchy, Shiro noticed. Allura needed pods the least, having a lot more natural protections from harm than her human teammates. Pidge was right after her, a combination of both the rest of the paladin’s unspoken protection of their youngest and the fact that she was analytical enough to see danger coming and had an easier time avoiding it. Then came Hunk (although there was a bit of a gap, Pidge and Allura got hurt far less than the rest of the team), who was just as analytical as Pidge, but often ignored his body’s signals and threw out his back on supply runs, or even his own engineering projects. Shiro was probably next. He was often the first to charge in the battle, as the leader, and he also found that the pods could frequently fix the phantom pain in his arm.

Keith and Lance were a toss-up. Both were impulsive and self-sacrificial, but Lance was very wary around the pods, and often chose the longer periods of healing so he could avoid time in the pod, making Keith the number-one placeholder of Most Pod Time (not a great title to bear, although Keith seemed satisfied with it. Sometimes Shiro wanted to infuse his dumbass, heart-of-gold little brother with some concentrated self-love and maybe just a sprinkle of self-preservation).

This was one of those times.

Keith had been mildly injured on their latest mission — not bad enough to make the team fear for his life, but bad enough that a few hours in the pod wouldn’t go amiss. One thing the paladins had discovered, though, through trial and error, was that human bodies tended to heal better if they came out of the pod a little early and spent a few hours in a medically-induced coma. They found the natural rest made residual soreness left by injuries less severe.

So that’s where Keith sits, currently. In the last stretch of his coma, all vitals are normal and healthy, drugged up to oblivion, as is the protocol. Lance sits beside him, running gentle and reverent hands through his hair and along his skin, tracing scars and marks. Every so often, he leans down a presses a kiss to Keith’s forehead.

Everyone else is sprawled along various pieces of furniture, not a single one of them sitting properly. Pidge is playing (she’s cheating) Uno with Allura and Hunk, and she’s so twisted up she looks like a pretzel. Her feet are on the wall. No one is sitting any nicer, but Shiro honestly doesn’t expect much from a group of traumatized gay people. Sitting weird is more comfortable, anyway.

Right as Pidge subtly shoves three cards up her sleeve, Keith’s monitor beeps a few times, letting everyone know he’s waking up. Everyone drops what they’re doing and gathers around. They may have been doing this saving-the-world shindig for a few years now, getting injured several times a week, but the attentiveness they have each time won’t change. They’re family. (There’s also the fact that, inevitably, someone says something unbelievably funny while high. Last person injured was Hunk, and while he was doped up, he spent twenty minutes trying to seduce the Hat Man. Pidge laughed so hard Shiro was worried she’d need some time in the pod.)

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Keith slurs, blinking slowly awake.

Lance smiles at him, unbelievably tender. Lance isn’t usually brash or rough, especially not with Keith, but something’s clearly got him sappy today.

“Morning, mi vida,” he says quietly, fingers drawing mindless circles on Keith’s chest. “You’ve been out for a couple hours.”

Keith stares at him, pupils blown so wide they almost swallow his irises. He blinks slowly. He’s clearly not really processing anything.

Allura giggles.

Lance grins, too. “You with us, baby?”

Keith blinks at him again, glancing down at his chest before glancing back up at Lance.

“My husband won’t like you touching my chest like that,” he says seriously. His words are slow and deliberate, he’s clearly not fucking around.

Lance grins wider, and Shiro can hear the rest of their team start to really lose it. He’s not far off, either.

“I am you husband,” Lance says, smooth as butter and honestly a little sultry.

There’s a moment of shocked silence, and then the red slowly grows on Keith’s face.

The heart monitor starts to beep rapidly.

Pidge and Hunk lose their shit, and Allura holds up her comm, recording it all.

“There’s no way you’re — you?! You’re my husband?” Keith asks, looking almost more bewildered than flustered.

Lance laughs softly, looking a little flushed and flattered himself.

“Yes, sweetheart. We’ve been married two years, now.”

“Two years — how did I land you?! You’re a gawdamm knockout! You’re prettier than a field a’ wild flowers on the fourth a May, Lord God above.”

Keith’s shock mixed with his thick Texan accent that only comes out when he’s high is the last straw for Shiro, who doubles over and laughs just as much as everyone else.

The last thing Shiro sees before he collapses on the floor is Lance’s face, just as red as Keith’s, pressing a kiss to his husband’s cheek.

Bonus:

Rachel glares hard at this man, this stranger, holding her baby brother’s hand and sitting so close to him there’s basically no part of them that isn’t touching.

This strange man that went ahead and married Lance. Married him. Like, for permanent.

She turns her gaze back to her dumbass little brother in question. “What’s so good about him, huh? What makes him the one you choose for the rest of your days?”

Lance shrugs, unbothered by Rachel’s skepticism bordering on hard judgement.

“I love him. He loves me. He treats me better than I ever thought I’d get. I’m telling you, Rach, he treats me like a goddamned queen. Also, he’s hot.”

That… is a fair point. This man, Keith, apparently, is objectively a looker.

“How do you know he’s not secretly a backstabbing shithead? How do you know he’s loyal to you? You can be gullible, Lance. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Instead of getting defensive or angry, like she expected, Lance bursts out laughing. Keith, contrarily, goes a bright cherry red.

“Oh, I know Keith would never cheat on me,” Lance assures between giggles.

Keith huffs, placing his head in his free hand. “Can we please let that go,” he mutters.

Lance grins at him, patting his hand. “Not on your life, amor. Okay, Rach, picture this: Keith is waking up from this coma, right…”

———

based on this video (sorry i couldn’t find the original)

#vld #voltron #shiro #takashi shirogane #keith #keith kogane #lance #lance mcclain #klance #married klance #established klance #pidge #pidge holt #allura #hunk #hunk garrett #team as family #fluff #team shenanigans #my writing #fic #longpost #lance’s family #rachel mcclain

[andrea-lyn]

You'd think that after the Dagger mission, Hangman and Rooster would pull their heads out of their asses and realize that they're both being idiots about how they clearly want to get together. Unfortunately for everyone around them, their stubbornness reigns supreme. It leaves their friends with no choice but to Much Ado the shit out of matchmaking them together.

Couple of background pairings here too, with Fanboy/Payback, Maverick/Penny, and past Maverick/Iceman!

#hangster #top gun maverick #hangman/rooster #much ado about nothing inspired #romantic hijinks #team shenanigans

[coffeeebomb]

[Everyone disapproves]

After much convincing with favours and food-related bribery, everyone stopped giving Gale shit only about a week later.

Saw this in the tags from @itsclydebitches, and had to do a direct follow-up to the original comic. Idk how a one-off joke became a three-parter mess, but lol ok sure.

Psst, you could also see: Part 1, Part 3

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #shadowheart #lae'zel #wyll ravengard #karlach #astarion ancunin #bg3 tav #team tadpole shenanigans #fanart

[sanshinexx]

Here's a bunch of Naruto art I've drawn within the last couple of days because I'm re-reading Naruto and it's slowly taking over my life once again

more naruto art here , and here

and also here (some much needed naruto & gaara friendship appreciation)

the ref for the first picture

#i just think they're neat #naruto #naruto art #naruto fanart #naruto team 7 #team 7 #team 7 fanart #team 7 shenanigans #gaara #gaara of the sand #sabaku no gaara #gaara fanart #sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #sakura haruno #i don't know what to tag here help #art

[skykashi]

Kakashi: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi hatake #naruto #rokudaime #uzumaki naruto #naruto uzumaki #uchiha sasuke #sasuke uchiha #sasuke #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #team 7 #kakashi shenanigans

[bluerosefox]

Invites

"OMA, kill meeeee" Ellie, aka Wrath complained as she allowed her head to 'thunk' on the cafeteria table in the Watchtower she phased into in order to sit in next to a boy dressed in red, yellow, and green.

"Aren't you already halfway there?" Came Robin's response as he took a drink of his water, eyeing his teammate with a raised eyebrow, though it was difficult to tell with his mask in place.

"OMA?" Asked Superboy on the other side of the boy.

"Shush you." She said towards Robin before answering Superboy "Oh my Ancients, it's like OMG but like for us ghosties."

"Tt" "Oh!" Came both their responses.

"So..." began Superboy after a few minutes of silence between them as he looked at Ellie like a confused puppy "Why?"

Ellie groaned and just stayed slumped on the table as she said "Da's dumb Observants council is hosting another dumb ball to try to get him or me hitched again, and like always I'm forced to attend because I'm Da's heir. We both hate it with a passion, most are just stuck up, power hungry, social climbers trying to get into our pants for the royal titles... Espcially if they become our Forevermores."

"Tt, why not just get rid of them? Or simply have your Father dismiss the ball." Robin said, his eye twitching in annoyance just at the thought of it. A ball sounded even more annoying than the gala parties he is made to go to.

"Sounds stressful... Also Forevermores?" Superboy asked, he was always curious of Ellie and her ghost culture but never knew what could be asked or not, he had been warned to never ask how a ghost died after all and that question is normally asked in every ghost hunter video on the internet.

"Forevermores is our term for the ONE. The one and only we will ever be with. Till our final end takes us we are always to be with them only. We are core creatures and bonding on that level is like sacred, we don't rush into bonding like that though. But everyone in the Realms hopes to be either become mine or Da's. And the ball is their best chance at meeting us on neutral grounds." Ellie explained as best as she could for Jon, it was hard trying to explain the type of level a Forevermore was "And to answer you Robin, Da can't. The Observants, despite how annoying they can get with their dumb demands, are part of the system council for the Realms, they're sadly needed to keep things in check hence their name. Da and his friends are still trying to find a loophole to get rid of them though. They were only created when they put Tyrant King to sleep and they still sadly have some backings from other powerful ghosts in the Realms, even an Ancient or two and in order to fully dismiss them we need all Ancients on board. And the ball keeps a lot of ghosts, especially the more powerful ones, errr I guess happy? Most just use it to gossip on neutral grounds, others just like to dance, network, or other junk like that. Basically, when it's not about them trying to get mine or Da's hand in ghost marriage, it's fun so Da can't dismiss it, it'll ruffle to many feathers."

"Wow..." "Tt." Were the response from her teammates.

"Yeah. Da really isn't happy because someone suggested inviting powerful people from a few Mortal Realms this time. Somehow it got approved. So... here." She said as she reached into her own chest, phasing her hand in, and pulled out two green envelopes and placed them on the table in front of them. Both boys stared in surprise to see their names written in dark purple ink and the stylized DP on it.

"CW let me invite you guys personally. Everyone else should be getting theirs in about a few minutes complete with a blaze of green fire and spooky vibes." Ellie said with a strained smile, both happy to invite them but also dreading the questions she'll no doubt have to answer once the invites were sent.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dp x dc #blue rambles #danny phantom dc #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #dani phantom #danielle phantom #ghost king danny #princess dani #Ellie is Wrath in DC world #she joined Jon and Damian's team #everyone knows she the heir to the Infinite Realms #she is dreading the upcoming ball #she groans in annoyance when those around Danny's age take one look at him and decide to flirt #thats her Da stop flirting with him #is Danny a young adult like Jason's age or like Bruce's age idk? #either age frame works tbh #fyi this isnt my shenanigans idea it just spawned and woundnt let go

[dc-and-damirae]

tim: If I see the word gaslight one more time... I'm getting off the internet forever.

jason: You're not even seeing it that much.

damian: Yeah, it's all in your head.

#jason doesn't know how the internet works #i love it when those two team up against tim #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc funny #dc comcis #dc comics #damian wayne #damian al ghul #jason todd #red hood #red robin #batfam #batfam shenanigans #batfamily #batkids #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect bat bros #incorrect batbros #incorrect batkids #incorrect batboys quotes

[bbbbbbbbatman]

superbat batfam identity porn shenanigans

Bruce and Clark know each other's identities, but the rest of the batfam does not know that Clark Kent is Superman.

The kids are trying to set their dad up on a date and Tim is like "well he obviously has a thing for that reporter, Clark Kent, we should start with him"

And Dick gets real upset bc "what are you talking about, he's obviously in love with superman!"

Damian, "Father does not have feelings for the alien!"

Jason, "Hate to break it to you, brat, but he's had a thing for the alien for years"

Cass, "but he is always so happy to see Clark at events"

Long story short, attempts at setting them up devolve into an all out war between the batfam about who Bruce should end up with, and thus commences the increasingly insane shenanigans to set Bruce up with Clark (Superman) or Superman (Clark)

Team Clark: Tim (he's a top notch reporter who loves to write about injustice and he's a more feasible option than Superman), Damian (he seems weak and bumbling but is a better choice than the alien), Cass (he was very nice when he spoke to her at a recent gala), Duke (Bruce clearly favors Clark to other reporters and even requests him specifically), Diana (was recruited by Tim, knows Superman's identity, but thinks this is hilarious)

Team Superman: Dick (superfan, absolutely wants Superman as his stepdad, and have you seen the way they look at each other?), Jason (I don't care about Bruce's love life (liar) but you'd have to be blind not to see that they're in love), Steph (why settle for a boring reporter when you could have Superman, have you seen his muscles?), Kate (got dragged in, thinks it would be funny if Mr. No Metas In Gotham ended up dating a meta)

(Alfred won't take sides bc he knows)

Bruce knows what's going on and on one hand is trying to figure out the best way to ask Clark to reveal his identity to his kids without telling him why so they stop and on the other hand isn't sure if a united front would be better or worse than a competition

Clark is oblivious, he's just happy to be spending all this extra time with Bruce

#team clark and team superman see bruce kiss clark and superman respectively and both think they've won #they get in a huge fight about it #they confront bruce about and he reveals clark's identity #all hell breaks loose #superbat #batman #superman #bruce wayne #clark kent #batfam #batfam shenanigans #dc comics #dc #mine

[jaratedeguadalupe]

i love the trope in tf2 fanfics where the mercs get banned for life in every single establishment they enter

#mostly solly and demo but you can't convince me the other's don't get into any insane shenanigans #either by complete accident or a line of events which leaves them no other choice but to commit crimes #tf2 #team fortress two #team fortress 2 #tf2 meme #tf2 memes #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier

[mayskalih]

I chose nations based on the techniques: Sakura can easily crush the ground, Naruto's rasengan is air, Sasuke masters fire and lightning, and Kakashi can do them all, so to keep the balance - he's a (very hot) waterbender.

#team 7 avatar au #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #avatar #naruto fanart #team 7 shenanigans

[autisticlancemcclain]

The end of this Skype meeting from hell was rapidly approaching, and Shiro was so close to relief he could taste it.

The team was attempting alliance negotiations with a new planet, but the entire planet was so incredibly toxic to Alteans that they felt it may be best to just have their meeting over a video communications link. Was it as shitty quality as a Skype call? God, no. The quality was incredible, Shiro could probably count every visible pore on the Queen’s face. But the plastic smiles and unbearable tension known of office-style Skype calls were evident, so Shiro was going to continue calling it a Skype in his head. The ‘from hell’ part of the description was due to the discomfort crawling up everyone’s throat — this Queen in particular was known to be temperamental and easy to offend, so everyone was walking on eggshells.

“Well, I believe that everything is in order,” said the Queen. Finally.

Some of the tension bled from Allura’s shoulders, and her smile turned genuine.

“Excellent! I’ll send you the forms —”

“One last thing,” interrupted the Queen. Allura’s smile froze, and her eye twitched. There was quite possibly nothing she hated more than being interrupted, and there wasn’t even anything she could do about it.

“Of course,” Allura replied through gritted teeth.

“Wonderful,” went the Queen, equally as passive aggressive.

Not for the first time, Shiro wished Adam was here. He was the master of passive aggression. He would have this bitch beat in minutes.

“Paladin Hunk,” continued the Queen, turning her gaze on the Yellow Paladin, who jumped slightly upon being called so abruptly but schooled his expression into a pleasant one.

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“I’ve heard you are quite the culinary master. Many of my people had the pleasure of tasting your food at Vrepit Sal’s, and have spoken endlessly of how you turned his food from failed embarrassments to pure edible pleasure.”

Hunk smiled, clearly pleased that his efforts were so widely recognized. Some of the wariness lifted from his features. “That’s very kind of them to say.”

The Queen nodded. “Yes. I figured since you are so knowledgeable, you may be able to help me with a problem of mine. My —” her lip curled — “stepson has insisted that we each take turns cooking ‘family’ dinners ourselves instead of hiring a cook. I can’t fathom why the foolish child would ever want such a thing, but my husband insists we indulge him, and I’ve never had to bother with such petty tasks myself before, so my first attempt was a disaster,” she huffs, shaking her head. “I had to force the ingrate to eat it because he insisted on me making it, but he complained the whole time it was too salty. And so my question for you: how can I fix a dish when it is too salty?”

Hunk’s face had completely soured, and his wasn’t the only one. Hearing this already entitled and rude Queen speak so horribly about her young stepson was hard to hear, and made it very difficult to want to help her or her planet.

Hunk paused before answering, face flat and judgemental. “Start over,” he said drily.

Shiro choked. The Queen’s — now furious — face whipped towards him, and Shiro clapped a hand in front of his mouth.

Fuck fuck fuck. Think of unfunny things. Uh, Iverson’s constant stories of his summer in Italy when he was 14. Nuclear physics. Literally anything but the sound of Lance losing his shit or you’re going to lose it too. You have a reputation, dingus, please please focus.

With the strength of a thousand suns, Shiro managed to choke down his laughter, despite the shaking shoulders and rapidly reddening faces of the rest of the team.

“So sorry about that,” Shiro said, voice shaking. “Tickle, in my throat. Ahem. Shall we send you the forms?”

The Queen glared at them, taking a moment to glare at Hunk specifically. He looked entirely unbothered, pretending to check his nails. Lance was a mess of desperately held-in giggles on the floor next to him. Keith was turning purple with the attempt to keep his mouth shut. Pidge had completely given up and turned so her back faced the Queen, fist shoved in her mouth.

“Fine,” the Queen spat. “I’ve tired of Voltron’s blatant disregard for professionalism, anyway. And to think the maturity and grace of that Black Paladin is talked about at every interplanetary gala. Phooey. Send the forms to my handmaidens.”

The Skype ended.

There was a beat of silence.

Shiro glanced at Allura. Their eyes met for one half second.

Shiro lost it. Completely bent over at the waist, wheezing, barely able to breathe. Over the sound of his own laughter he heard Allura giggling as well, along with the rest of the team. Hunk surveyed them all, smirking like the cat that got the cream.

Shiro doesn’t know what he’s gonna do with these damn kids.

———

more of shiro being a loveable loser here

#i think this is funny so #vld #voltron #shiro #takashi shirogane #hunk #hunk garrett #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #allura #princess allura #pidge #pidge holt #space dad shiro #dad shiro #big brother shiro #humour #team shenanigans #team as family #my writing #fic fragment

[vaxxman]

So I heard we are drawing satin solly.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #satin solly #tf2 soldier #tf2 zhanna #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #What an amazing trend #For some reason I saw bow on soldier I immediately thought Yeah a solly would look good with a botwie too #And he'd probably wear one for his wedding with Zhanna #I wanted to draw more shenanigans and Demo as his Best Man but alas I only managed this #Save heavy from his family surrounding themselves with insane people (he does too)

[coffeeebomb]

Dealing with your cat (and cat-adjacent).

A continuation of this, set somewhere a couple hours after Tara's 4am "serenade" and Astarion's threats to eat her if she wasn't stopped.

Yes, it's that cat with the wine glass meme, and it took far too much time to figure out how to do that.

EDIT: added part 1 and part 2

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #tara the tressym #gale of waterdeep #astarion #bg3 tav #team tadpole shenanigans

[havendance]

I think we should torture Dick by coming up with an AU where Tim's the one to get dealt the faked death/undercover in spyral thing instead. Like, congratulations man! You're the last one standing. (Well, except for Jason I suppose but Jason's probably causing problems on purpose.) You've won an even bigger than usual guilt complex. No, you can't opt out.

#this obviously takes place in a universe where they are still brothers who care about each other #bonus points if Tim 'dies' in a way that also allows Dick to conveniently blame himself for failing to save him #oh and this would also allow tim and helena to team up for spy shenanigans which is always a win in my book #dc #batman #dick grayson #tim drake #bats + birds + affiliated #last of the flying graysons #tim tag #carthago delenda est

[acnologias-ass]

FT 100YQ chapter 154 be like

#not gonna lie cobra was on the bottom of my fave dragon slayer out of the 7 list #but he went up after the chapter #i really missed chapters like that i wish 100yq was all about the guild shenanigans #not a fan of most of the sequel sadly bc too much team natsu #cobra #erik #warren rocko #kinana #fairy tail #fairy tail 100 years quest #doodles noodles