#the amount of immediate regret after fucking everything i did

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.

Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).

What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?

Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.

I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?

We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!

I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.

You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt

[biniminisblog]

easy | lee minho oneshot

pairing: lee minho x reader

prompt: “did i do something? why are you suddenly acting so distant?” “just… because.” link to post here

genre: angst, fluff at the end, nonidol!au, kinda grumpy x sunshine, friends to lovers

word count: 1.6k

a/n: …idk what i wrote lmao. this is what happens when im in my missing minho hours. anw as always if you liked it pls reblog, comment, or send an ask and share your thoughts and feedback! also thank you to @dumplingsjinson for the prompt that inspired me to write this!

minho hates you. he hates you for making him fall in love with you. this wasn’t supposed to happen. this was all your fault. yes, your stupid smile and your stupid laugh and the way your eyes twinkle every time you look at him is the reason why he’s currently spiralling from his emotions.

despite his aloof attitude towards you, there was never a day where you failed to annoy him, even in the slightest. before, it was easy to just brush you off every time you try to get his attention. so easy to ignore the members whenever they talk about you. everything was easy back then. why couldn’t you just take the hint?

when you greet him enthusiastically so early in the morning, which he would usually just roll his eyes at, now makes his heart beat faster than it should have. and unlike before, his attention would instantly be diverted to the person who so much as just mentions your name.

he’s actually starting to think he likes spending more time with you, and not just as friends anymore. which is why he stopped hanging out with you. so when you suddenly appear before him outside of his apartment at eight pm on a friday, he knew he was fucked.

“hey…” you greeted him, and minho notices you slightly shiver from the cold. he gently grabs your arm and pulls you inside so you both don’t suffer from the harsh weather. after he closes the door, he turns to see that you were already sitting comfortably on his couch. another reason why he hates you is because of all the fond memories you both shared on that same damn couch. movie nights and cuddling were only some of the things he despised, recalling those memories where his heart fluttered the most.

“so, uhm, it’s been a while huh?” you lightly chuckle, but it was different to the usual joyful tone it had. now it seem more dejected. “you haven't been answering my calls lately, is there something wrong?”

he didn’t know how to answer that because yes something was wrong, but not in the way you think. he just settled with a simple shake of his head and plops down on the couch next to the one you were sitting on. it was hard not to notice the amount of space between the two of you, however the both of you don’t mention it.

“don’t worry about it, i was just busy so i couldn’t answer your calls.” to further prove his claim, he points to the copious amounts of paperwork stacked on top of each other on the coffee table. it was true that he was busy with work, but he always made time for you despite that. though he didn’t know that his feelings for you would be deeper than just a friend he would occasionally be annoyed at.

“minho, i’m not stupid. i know you’re ignoring me.” of course you’d catch on immediately, it was you after all.

“well if you knew that, then why are you here?” minho’s words come out a lot meaner than he expected, and he immediately regrets it once he sees the look of hurt flash in your eyes.

“sorry, it’s just that a lot has been going on lately and i—”

“did I do something? why are you suddenly acting so distant?” you cut him off, feeling frustrated at your friend’s lack of communication. you start to stand up from the couch to get closer to him, but minho was two steps ahead as he gets up first and heads to his kitchen. you follow him there and see that he took out a glass and poured himself some water to drink. you’re not sure why, but you think it’s just to prolong him from answering your question.

“minho please, i miss you! i miss hanging out with my friend, don’t you miss me too?” you plead, and minho’s facade breaks. his eyes soften and he puts the glass down so could walk closer to you. he stops right in front of you and moves his hand to caress your hair. you lean in to his touch, already missing the way his fingers would comb your hair soothingly. minho just smiles at your reaction before pulling away slowly.

“of course i miss you yn,”

“everything was fine so why are you doing this? why are you avoiding me?” yes, everything was fine and easy until you decided to mess with his heart. but you didn’t know that.

“just… because.” you scoff at his explanation, resisting the urge to smack him for not giving you a clear answer.

“because what minho? am i too annoying for you? do i talk too loudly? what is it minho!? i can’t take this any more, i thought we were friends—”

“and that’s exactly why!” you stop, and minho takes this as an opportunity to finally let it out.

“the reason why i stopped hanging out with you is because i don’t want to be friends anymore! don’t you see yn? i like you! hell, i’m in love with you! but i don’t want to be because i know you don't feel the same way. i mean, why would you? all i do is just say mean things to you.” minho breathes out a sigh and watches as you take in all the words he just said. however, he was too scared of your rejection, so he moved past you and headed towards the living room. you were still too stunned to move so you stay rooted in the kitchen.

“please just forget everything i just told you and i promise i won't ignore you anymore.” minho almost raps as he maneuvers his way towards the coffee table and he distracts himself by arranging his paperwork. some part of him wants you to just accept that and go home, but the other, more hopeful side, wishes for you not to forget and return his feelings too.

when you arrive at the living room, you see minho crouched down beside the coffee table. you quickly grab his arm, startling him from the sudden contact. you pull him up and give him time to regain his balance before giving your side.

“what if i don’t wanna forget?” minho only looks confused, so you elaborate further. “what if i don’t wanna forget that you like me? what if i like you too, have you ever considered that?”

you almost laugh at the comedic look on minho’s face as his eyes suddenly widen in shock. you don’t, instead you grab his chin and pull him down towards you. your lips touched and it was still for a moment before he finally kissed you back. only then do you both pull away from lack of oxygen. your arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer and you rest your forehead against each other’s.

“so… does this mean we’re dating now?”

“do friends go around kissing each other like that?” you quirk an eyebrow and minho shakes his head at your sarcasm. it seems like he’s finally rubbing off on you.

“no they don’t.”

“good, ‘cause i don’t want you kissing your friends like that.” you both laugh and minho lifts you off the ground to spin you around, causing you to squeal in surprise.

“for the record, i don’t want you kissing your friends like that either.” after putting you down, minho gives you his signature smirk before kissing you once more and wrapping you up in a hug.

“and to answer your question, i’m in love with you too. so yes, we are dating.” you can’t stop grinning as minho continues to hug you, but he abruptly pulls away, causing you to look at him with confusion written in your features. he suddenly seems anxious, but he collects himself and takes a deep breath before talking.

“i’m just going to have to warn you that i may not be the best boyfriend in the world. i get moody a lot and say a lot of sarcastic things that may come off as rude. there are also times where i—“ he stops rambling after he hears laughter coming from you. he gives you a look that resembles an offended cat and you all but acknowledge it as you wipe away the tear that came out of your eye.

you cradle minho’s face with both of your hands, and he looks at you with such pureness in his big eyes that you can’t help but fall in love with him more.

“minho, i already know that you are all of those things, yet i still stuck around because i love you despite all of that, and i will continue to do so until you run out of snarky things to say,” you tease, and it gets a small smile from him.

“you’re right. if you were tired of me, you would’ve already dropped me while we were still friends.” minho jokes and you hum in response, giving him a peck to his cheek. you intertwine your fingers with his and with your other hand, run your fingers through his hair. “yes now stop worrying about that, you still owe me all the movie nights we missed because you’re an idiot.”

minho only replies with a laugh, silently agreeing that he is indeed an idiot. it surprises him how easily you break him free of his worries. and that despite everything that just happened, you still manage to crack his walls. but he guesses that’s how love works, it makes everything so much easier.

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #lee minho x reader #lee minho #lee know #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee minho oneshot #skz minho #stray kids minho #lee know fluff #lee know angst #lee minho fluff #lee minho angst #minho x reader #skz x you #skz imagines #stray kids fic #stray kids one shot #lee minho one shot #stray kids scenarios #lee know x you #lee minho x you

[shoyoist]

𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 — haitani ran.

haitani ran doesn't care for anything. 

he has always been that way. laid back look in eyes, lips set in that impassive slant that somehow passed as a smile. you've known this about him for the lengthy amount of time you've been friends, and you were used to his languid attitude — and you didn't mind it, honestly.

you knew he only really cared when it was something about himself. his hair, his pride, or something to do with his little brother getting into danger.

which is why you're staring at him the way you are. 

watching him rub the darkening bruise at the left of his mouth as he fixes his hair (of course. his ever so precious hair.) after it had come loose, seated on your couch with that nonchalant look in his eyes — like he hadn't just beat the absolute shit out of your ex boyfriend.

thinking back on it, you weren't even sure why you'd called ran and told him about it. 

all you knew was that you'd just barely managed to move on from the way your ex cheated on you and dumped you months ago; and seeing the jerk at your door, hearing him tell you that he regretted everything and wanted you to give him a second chance — it had you fumbling for the phone in an instant.

"ran," you'd muttered, trying to keep your voice from reaching the guy standing more or less patiently behind the door you'd slammed in his face. "ran, he's here. and he says he wants me back. after everything he did—"

ran had cut you off with a simple 'give me five minutes, yeah?' — and then he was there, grabbing your ex by the collar and spitting in his face before throwing him onto the ground.

you'd stood there for a moment, confused, shocked and stunned to see the anger in ran's usually placid eyes. to see the way he used his fists, rather than the weapons he preferred. to hear him cuss your ex out, talking about how you deserved better than a piece of shit, about how if he ever showed his ass at your door again, he'd kill him on the spot.

you'd only snapped out of it when your ex managed to land a punch on ran's face, sending his head twisting to one side, blonde-and-black braids following the movement — and then you were stepping out, screaming at them to stop. 

ran looked up at you, recognized the upset written over your features, and withdrew. not without one last kick, but the fact that he'd immediately, actually stopped was another surprise. "get the fuck away." he'd hissed at your ex.

naturally, your ex had left the scene without further protest, hopefully never to return, but you were still stunned. because for a moment, it looked like haitani ran cared.

"lemme get a glass of water," he'd mumbled, all casual, shouldering past you into your house and making his way into your kitchen.

you followed, poured him his water, watched him drink and wash his mouth with it, and then followed him back into your living room where he now sat, redoing his hair.

deciding that you'd stared enough, he looks up. "what is it, huh?"

"ah," you scramble to find words that would make sense. "i was just wondering. you got here pretty fast."

"i was on my way." he explains dismissively.

"you were?" you ask. he nods, fixing one braid and undoing the other, letting the alternating waves of dyed hair fall across his shoulder, creating soft shadows over the slant of his face, against the watery sunlight coming through your window. "was gonna take you out for some ice cream."

"oh." and then you realize that in fact, he'd been doing that a lot the past weeks, after your break up.

showing up unannounced and asking you if you wanted to go out for some nothing-in-particular, telling you almost teasingly that he'd freed up some time just for you, so you better accept his offer.

you'd been appreciating his gestures as kindness shown to you by a friend — albeit one that was involved in various criminal activities, that you'd decided to look past because you'd known him for long enough to not care — but now, you were starting to wonder if it was something more.

the signs were all there, after all.

"ran, do you—" the words spill from your lips without your intention, and you hesitate, even as he looks up, flicking a strand of his hair out of his eyes that were now glowing with the light pooling in them. "yeah?"

fuck, you think, as his gaze grows sharper, steeling itself against yours.

"i'm just, uh," you really don't know how to say what you wanted to say. "it's just, you ... do you care?"

he raises an eyebrow, giving you a scrutinizing look. "the fuck's that supposed to mean, hm? care about what?"

"about ..." you take a deep breath. "scratch that. do you like me?"

he freezes momentarily, upon hearing your question — only for a fraction of a second — but you're watching him closely enough to catch it. you don't know what else to say, and there's silence in the air between you two for what feels like an age, before he simply finishes braiding his hair and stands up. 

your heart starts to beat faster, wondering if he was about to walk out with no explanation — perhaps you'd hit a nerve, perhaps you'd assumed wrong and thought too much about something that had no meaning. "wait—"

"look, i don't wanna be a rebound or anything." he starts, voice a little stiff, a little cold — and you shut your mouth, allowing him to continue. "i'm not about to get played or made a fool out of. so, so we'll take things slow. i'll wait for you to get over shit at your own pace. you take your time, and tell me if you ever wanna give me a chance."

"g-give you a chance?" your heart picks up pace again, because god, you weren't expecting him to say all of that. it wasn't like him to be so — so this way, and it was rendering you just a bit speechless. "ran, i . . . you, you really—"

he turns to you again, rolling his eyes — but you don't see any real annoyance behind it. "not in the mood to talk about it right now, love. let's just go get some food. and you know it's not gonna be any tacky shit like what ass-face treated you to, so hurry up."

and now, after that thrown out half-confession, the way he called you love sounded softer, less of a joke and more of something else. you felt bad, but you also can't help but feel relief. 

why relief?

because you know how you used to have a crush on him. 

hell, you'd been in love with ran, going as far as to break things off with your friends that tried to convince you that he was no good. 

and because you can't help the way you've been looking forward to his impromptu visits as of late, daydreaming and wondering when he was going to surprise you next, and with what.

you know how you'd seen your ex at your door and only felt fear and anger stir in your gut — and you know how you'd immediately dialled ran, and felt near-tears with consolation when he picked up so quickly, when you heard his voice in your ear.

because you were starting to wonder if your past love for him was slowly coming back.

you still needed some time to move on, and ran knew that. which is why he'd just said, that he's willing to wait. because he has feelings for you?

"but are you sure you're willing to," locking the door, you turn to him and walk after him, out to where he had his motorcycle parked across the street. "you know, willing to wait?"

"whatever." ran shrugged, not looking at you. you quickened your pace, catching up with him and grabbing his sleeve to cross the street together. his gaze was fixed on his motorcycle, but it didn't look like he was focused on the vehicle.

the breeze rustles gentle in your ears as you walk with him to the other side of the road, and the sound fills in any awkwardness that blooms between you two.

the sequence of events that had just played out, hadn't taken even an hour. but as you search your surroundings for any signs of any unwanted presences, you see nothing.

there's only a couple of kids passing by on bicycles, birds coming down to land on the branches of a tree growing some distance away, and pale sunlight sifting down frim between the clouds to pool on the asphalt at your feet.

you feel calm. ran shakes away the grip you've got on your sleeve, but as your hand falls down to rest slack at your side, he grabs it, and gives it a small squeeze — and you feel a tingle of something bright and hot run through your chest. 

swinging his leg over, he leaps onto the motorcycle, slipping the key into the ignition. you get on behind him, grabbing onto his shoulders for support, suddenly feeling warm despite the chilly wind that was starting to pick up. 

"i've waited long enough already, anyway." he added belatedly, sounding ever so laid back, despite the cherry colour tipping his ears. "take your time. nothing to it, waiting some more."

and as your heart warms, you think that perhaps you were wrong. 

perhaps haitani ran does care. for you.

note: interactions, reblogs & feedback are much appreciated!<3

#♡ japan — yot club. #₊˚ପ⊹ REKHA™. #₊˚ପ⊹ IMERA. #ran x reader #ran fluff #haitani ran x reader #haitani ran fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tr fluff #tr x reader #haitani ran angst #ran angst #tr angst #haitani ran drabbles #ran drabbles #tokyo revengers drabbles #tr drabbles

[negansfavlucille01]

JEALOUSY

Negan × female reader (Alexandrian reader, Rick's daughter)

Summary: Negan gets JEALOUS after he finds something in the readers room.

Warnings: 18+, smut, blowjob, spanking, fingering, clit rubbing, nipple sucking, unprotected sex, overprotective Negan.

Note: This is my first fic, so I don't know what I'm doing😅. Feel free to request some ideas for the future.

"Take your time. Make it good."

Olivia stuttered out a few words before rushing out of the kitchen.

"So, kid.. How about a tour around?" Carl sighed and began showing him around. Negan had taken off his boots and sock, enjoying the softness of the carpet. He checked out the sink, then some other rooms. There was one room that really had his attention. One that Carl didn't wanna show him. "C'mon, what's in there?"

"Nothing special." Carl mumbled.

Negan on the other side, wasn't having it. He opened the door anyway and stepped inside. There was a crib in one of the corners of the room, a bed in the other. He walked over to the crib and picked up Judith. "Look at this little angel..." He rocked her in his arms while she cooed softly.

"So, who's room is that?"

"Y/N's"

"Oh, Y/N's..."

Meanwhile you were just getting back from a supply run with your dad. You both got out of the truck, opening the trunk for Negan's men to see that everything was there.

"You go, I'll finish here." Rick said, while one of Negan's men was looking trough the stuff. You walked back to your house, your shorts lifting up a bit as you did so.

You saw Carl and Olivia sitting at the porch. Carl was holding Judith.

You entered the house without asking any questions. You took off your boots and started walking up the stairs to your room, stopping mid-stair when you heard someone shout "What the fuck?!".

You immediately recognized the voice. You continued walking. When you got to your room you sighed before opening the door. He was there, looking at your thrash bin that was next to your desk. You immediately regretted going in.

"Care to explained?" He said, looking up from the bin, while pointing at it.

"Ummm..." You were speechless. How do you explain that? He'd kill you.

"I want to know. Why do you have a condom in your thrash bin? A used condom."

"I think you can guess."

That only made it worse. He walked up, towering over you. You gulped as you felt his hot breath against your skin. "Who was it?"

"You don't know him..."

"I'd be very fucking glad to meet him, let me tell you that, sweetheart." He gently lifted your chin so you could look at him. It was like he was staring into your soul. His eyes were cold, almost showing no emotion, but there was one thing you could see. Jealousy.

"Get on your knees."

You accepted your faith, getting on you knees in front of him. You knew what he wanted, but you weren't gonna do anything else without a command. "You know what to do."

You nodded.

"So do it."

Lifting your hands off of your thighs where they were resting, you reached for his belt, unbuckling it. You unbuttoned and u zipped his pants, already seeing his hardness through them. Sliding them down along with his boxers, you couldn't help but stare at it. It was big with just the right amount of thickness and the tip was red, already leaking pre-cum.

You wrapped you hands around it, giving it a few strokes before he was solid like cement. Low groans escaped his mouth as you licked the tip, then further to his balls. You took him in your mouth, already gagging on the half of it.

"You can take more. You will take more." He grabbed a handful of hair and pushed you further until your nose was touching his public hair. "There you go. God, you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth."

Your eyes watered from the need of oxygen. When he thought that was enough, he let you pull away, still keeping his hand in your hair. You took a deep breath before going back to pleasuring him with your mouth and hands. Soon you felt him twitch in your mouth, as he gripped your hair harder.

"Fuck, I'm close.. So fucking close."

He shoot his warm seed deep in your throat, groaning loudly before pulling you up on your feet. He kissed you harshly, tasting himself on your lips. Negan then pushed you onto the bed, towering over you. Spreading your legs open and setting between them, he kicked off his pants, that were gathered at his ankles. His jacked following, then his white barely see-through t-shirt. He threw them on the floor before focusing on getting you naked for him. He quickly slid off your shorts along with your panties, throwing them aside then ripping your tank top apart, leaving you only in your bra. You could see he was still mad, even tho he had that stupid grin on his face.

"You're mine from now on, capiche?"

You nodded but that wasn't enough for him. His rough hand slapped your ass, making you cry out.

"Yes. Yes, I understand..."

"Good." He reached behind your back, taking your bra off and throwing it to the pile of clothes on he floor. Immediately his lips were on your breast, sucking on the nipple, probably leaving a hickey. This made you moan like crazy, but it got even louder when he reached to rub your clit with his thumb while his two fingers entered you. Negan started pumping them in and out.

"You like that, baby?" His smirk got wider from the cute little noises you made. "Hell yeah, you do."

You whimpered when he pulled his fingers out, wanting more.

"Don't worry. That tight hole won't be unfilled for a long time." With that, he slammed into you, making you scream out. His hand quickly covered your mouth, muffins your cries. Negan's face buried in your neck as he started moving at a slow pace at first. He kissed your neck as you moaned from the feeling of his cock stretching your out. His pace fastened, as he was leaving wet kisses and love bites on your neck and collarbone. He was now fucking you mercilessly. "What, your tight little cunt can't take me all?"

That nasty grin on his face remained as he was giving you pleasure and pain at the same time. You were clinging to him, scratching his back and shoulders. He groaned as your nails dig into his flesh, but that didn't stop him from going.

"Negan..." You cried out, making him smirk even more.

"I know, baby. I know..."

Your walls tightened, signaling to him that you were close. He let out a low growl, buring his head even more in your neck. "I'm gonna cum.."

"Give it to me, baby. Give me everything you have.."

You came with a loud scream, his name coming out of your lips. He kept thrusting, chasing for his orgasm and soon enough you felt him twitch inside you.

"Oh, I'm gonna cum. Can I cum in this tight pussy?"

"What?! No, Ne-"

"That's a yes." He interrupted you before you could finish.

"No, Negan, please don't.."

"I'm gonna fill you up so good.."

You moaned as he shot his hot cum into you. Not that you minded, you just didn't wanna get pregnant yet. But it felt so good that you wanted to do it again. He was panting softly, still groaning. He dropped his weight on you, careful not to crush your tiny body. He finally pulled out, as you whimpered at the loss off him in you, already missing the feeling of him.

"We're definitely doing this again."

"Agreed..."

"I want you to remember who you belong to, princess."

#negan smith #negan smut #negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #twd negan #the walking dead #twd #jeffrey dean morgan

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Redemption

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x Teen!Reader

Word Count: ~2.9k

Warnings: bullying (from you), feeling guilty and sad for treating him such, angst

Summary: You don't hate Peter. You hate that you're jealous of him. You hate that he always gets good grades without trying while you bust your ass and fail. When you find his diary, you learn more about Peter than you probably should know.

Squares Filled: regret for @spider-man-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

It’s another peaceful walk to school. Your apartment building is only a few blocks from your high school, so your mom allows you to walk it if you only stick to the well-known paths and avoid strange people on the sidewalk. She’s been paranoid ever since she saw in the news about some little girl getting kidnapped by someone on the streets. It took a lot to convince her that you would be fine, so she agreed if you stuck to her terms, which you do.

You’re blaring your favorite music through your headphones as you tune out everyone around you. You’re looking down at the sidewalk so you don’t see someone come barreling your way. The person almost knocks you to the ground, so you yank your headphones off and glare at the person who did it. 

Of course, it’s Peter fucking Parker. He catches his footing and continues to walk past you as if he has somewhere else more important to be.

“Watch where you’re going, asshat!” you yell after him.

Peter mumbles an apology without so much as a look back at you, and you roll your eyes in annoyance. Out of everyone in school, he’s the one who annoys you the most. He thinks just because he’s so fucking smart that the rest of the rules don’t apply to him. When he gets in trouble, the teachers end up giving him a slap-on-the-wrist punishment because he gets good grades and keeps to himself. 

He doesn’t pay attention half the time but he gets stellar grades. You work your ass off and the best you can get is a B, mostly C’s. He pisses you off because you’re so jealous of him. It’s not him as a person, he’s actually quite nice, it’s the fact that he doesn’t even try and still gets everything he wants. You try so hard but still fail. Your annoyance and pissy mood have evolved into snappy comments and rude stares.

You walk the rest of the way without music, and you immediately head to your first class which so happens to be science. You’re not doing well in that class but Peter is, and he makes sure to show off intentionally or not. Today in class is lab day, and you’re supposed to mix certain chemicals to create a foamy mixture that grows a lot.

Peter shifts in his seat anxiously and watches the clock count down. You grab the ingredients that are listed in the book and glance at Peter.

“Peter, I need your help. I don’t know what I’m doing.” Peter snaps out of his trance and sets up the main portion of the lab. He grabs his phone to check the time and ends up getting distracted by one of his notifications. “I think we need this one, right?” When Peter doesn’t answer, you kick his chair lightly. “Peter, is this the right one?”

“Hold on, give me a second.”

You roll your eyes and pour what you think is the right amount of the chemical you believe to be right. The mixture doesn’t match and ends up exploding, sending shards of glass across your table. The mixture spills onto the desk and you quickly move the papers to avoid them from getting ruined.

“Fuck!”

“Y/N! Language!” your teacher scolds. A few students laugh at your failure, and you feel tears prick your eyes. “Don’t move, let me get paper towels.”

“If Peter bothered to help me, then maybe I might actually get something done right. He’s staring at his phone.”

“Peter, put your phone away before I take it for the day.”

Your teacher helps you clean up the mess before getting you a new glass beaker. Peter puts his phone in his bag and slumps in his chair.

“Thanks a lot,” Peter mumbles.

“Get your head out of your ass and do your part.”

“You did it wrong.”

Of course, you did. Here’s Peter Parker to the fucking rescue. He makes this shit look so easy. He grabs the right chemicals and pours the right amount into the beaker. It grows and spills over the top like it’s supposed to. God, you feel like such a failure.

“I hate you,” you mumble under your breath but Peter hears.

His shoulders sag sadly from your comment but he chooses not to respond to it. You don’t really hate him. You hate how brilliant he is. You hate how he makes you feel. You hate that you don’t hate him at all.

The next two classes go by without a hitch for two reasons. You have English and Math which are your favorite subjects, and Peter isn’t in your classes to annoy you. However, economics is your next one which you have Peter in. If you think science is your worst subject, it’s economics. As much as you try to understand and study the packets, it’s not clicking with you. The teacher once had to create a special packet for you dumbing it down really far. It made you feel like an idiot, especially when Peter picked up on it so easily.

What is with that kid? Can’t he see how jealous you are of him? It’s like he likes torturing you on purpose. Much like in science, you and Peter are paired for a project involving creating your own city with its own rules. He’s distracted by whatever is on his phone while you’re doing all the work. Typical. 

You grab the textbook and look at the current chapter you’re on. It has everything you need to create your own city. The only thing Peter was good at was naming it, and you’re struggling with putting the rules down on paper. You write out the first rule as this is a democracy. The teacher split the class in half so that one half is Democrats and the other is Republicans.

“Peter, what is so important that you can’t help me?” you sigh and look at him. “You know I suck at this class.”

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” he mumbles and gathers his things.

“What?” Peter quickly excuses himself to the bathroom and runs out of class, leaving you to fend for yourself. “Asswipe!”

“Y/N! Language!” the teacher glares at you.

You roll your eyes and try your best not to sit there and cry from stress and jealousy. When class is over, you find Peter by his locket putting things into it. You slam your hand into the locker beside yours causing him to flinch.

“Thanks a lot for ditching me,” you glare. “Next time you do, I’m going straight to the teacher. You’re not Captain America. You don’t get a free pass here.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter stutters. “It’s just that--”

“I don’t want to hear your sorry excuses. Now you get to finish the project by yourself.”

You shove the folder into his hands and stalk off without another word. His shoulder sags as soon as you’re out of view, and he bangs his head against his locker in defeat. Ned walks up to him already knowing why his friend is like this.

“Is it Y/N again?”

“I don’t get why she hates me so much,” Peter sighs and shoves the project into his locker.

The bell rings to signal lunch and you close your locker to meet up with your friend. You turn the corner to another hallway and spot something black on the ground. Everyone is walking by it as if it means nothing to them. Upon further examination, you see that it’s a notebook. You turn to the first page and see the words, “My Journal” written on it. It’s a diary. Someone dropped their diary, but there is no name to indicate who this belongs to.

Now if this was your diary and someone randomly picked it up, would you want them to read it? It’s kind of hard to answer since you don’t have a diary. With a shrug, you turn to the first entry to see if there is something to tell you who the writer is.

There’s a girl in my class who I can’t stop thinking about. I haven’t known her long but she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Hair that seems as long as Rapunzel’s, eyes that get me lost whenever I look into them, smooth skin, and freckles that dance across her cheeks. I’m too nervous to go up to her and have a conversation with her. What would I say? What could I say that won’t make me look like an idiot? Every morning I see her, it’s like all reason goes flying out of my head. She talks to me but I can’t help but stutter in response. She makes me so nervous. Is that a good thing? I don’t know anymore.

There is another entry next to that one, and you can’t help but read it as you walk to the lunch room.

I think she hates me. She’s always calling me an asswipe or asshat for everything I mess up on. She’s in four of my classes and we’re paired in projects for three of them. I try to get the teacher to pair me with someone else to spare her feelings but that never happens. I don’t know why she hates me. I haven’t done anything to her. Nothing I do seems to be right in her eyes. Maybe I should give up this tiny crush I have on her. Ned tells me I’m wasting my time. I don’t know how to fix what I have with her.

Asswipe? Asshat? Ned? Does this diary belong to Peter? He has a crush on you? Your heart hurts at “I don’t know why she hates me. I haven’t done anything to her”. Your jealousy of Peter is rubbing off the wrong way. Suddenly, you regret everything you have ever said to him. You didn’t mean to hurt him. Your jealousy has put a film over your eyes and prevented you from seeing how much you’re hurting him.

We had a project today in science class. He must have written this today. I wanted to help her. I know she’s struggling in most classes. Usually, I would have. I hate seeing her stress about something that comes so easily to me. I’d tutor her if I didn’t think she’d bite my head off or make some jab about it. Today, I noticed something on my phone that almost got me in trouble. Ned told me that someone was selling drugs next to the school. I had to leave to stop them or else who knows who might have gotten involved. I hated leaving her in class like that but I had to.

You should stop reading. You should just shut this and return it to Peter who is probably frantically looking for it. You walk into the lunch room and see him and Ned huddled together at a lunch table with MJ seated across from them. He doesn’t look in a panic. He might not know it’s gone. You should walk up to him and hand it back but you can’t stop reading. This is how you’re going to know how he feels. Instead of doing the right thing, you turn and find a secluded spot in the back and continue reading.

I can’t believe I got to leave the country! I have never thought to get a passport much less my driver’s license. Not only did I get to go to Germany, I went with Iron Man! He was like ‘Peter, I need you to come with me and help fight Captain America with me’. I was like ‘I don’t know if I should’ but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. I didn’t think I would be fighting more than Captain America, but there I was ready to give it my all! I even went up the big, bad, scary Winter Solider. He went to punch me, and I caught his metal arm. Metal arm! How cool is that?! I have never been part of something so special before.

Your mouth drops open when you read about his adventure with Captain America and Iron Man. This journal is out of order since the airport battle happened a month or so ago. Still, he was there. Is he superhuman? Someone with powers?

I kind of wish people knew I was Spider-Man. The only person who knows is Ned because he caught me crawling on the ceiling in my bedroom. I wish I could tell Y/N but she’d probably hate me more than she already does. I’m scared she’d spread that secret around school just to spite me. I truly don’t know why she hates me. I try every day to get on her good side. I like her so much. She’s so beautiful and smart and energetic. I see her around her friends all the time. I wish she was like that with me. I hate that I’m screwing this up, whatever it is we have. I don’t know how to fix it.

Guilt weighs heavily on your shoulders at the way you’ve been treating Peter. Just because you’re not as smart as him doesn’t mean you should take your frustrations out on him. It doesn’t even faze you that he’s Spider-Man. Peter noticed you in the back reading something. He knows you were there reading so it’s not like you can walk up to him now and return the diary. What would you even say?

You close the diary and shove it into your backpack before heading to your next class. Your stomach grumbles from having missed lunch but you’ll live. This is the last period of the day, so you’ll eat when you get home. Peter is in this class and just so happens to sit next to you. The teacher passes out project details you need to be paired for, and she pairs you with Peter. He’s bouncing his leg anxiously and staring at the clock.

You look at him just as the teacher sets the paper on the desk. He wants to leave. He has better things to do than sit here with you and complete some project. He fought with Captain America and has super spider powers. Why is he still in school? Peter does a double-take at you when he catches you staring at him.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No. You look nervous. Do you need to be somewhere?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“You should go,” you whisper. Peter looks at you with a surprised look. You hate when he leaves you to do all the work. Why are you telling him to abandon you now? “I can do this by myself. Say you need to go to the bathroom or something. It’s last period anyway, so it won’t matter much.”

“Are you sure? You’re not gonna yell at me?”

His comment breaks your heart. You hate yourself for how you’ve been treating him.

“No,” you shake your head.

“Thanks.”

Peter gives you an award-winning smile and excuses himself to the bathroom. The teacher doesn’t even notice that he has grabbed all of his things. This class always goes by quickly, so you’re home before you even know it. The rest of Peter’s journal is filled with entries about how good you looked, how he saved you from a man who was following you one day, and how he doesn’t know how to confess his feelings for you.

This journal belongs back to the original owner. You scribble a note for him to find in an envelope with his name on it just in case his aunt sees this before him. Peter’s apartment is only a few blocks from yours, so you head over there knowing he probably won’t be home. He’s off being a hero somewhere, so you feel safe to drop this off without being caught. You drop the book at the front door and knock three times before leaving.

Peter answers the door having only been home for an hour to do homework before he’s off doing his hero duties. He looks down the hallway but doesn’t see anyone. He looks down and notices his journal with an envelope on top of it. He grabs it and goes to his room to read the note privately.

Peter,  I am sorry for how I’ve been treating you. I want you to know that it’s not you. You’re very nice. It’s the fact that I’m jealous of how smart you are. You pass every class and get good grades while I try my best and get B’s and C’s. I know that’s not an excuse for how I’ve treated you. I wish I could take everything I said back. I hope we can be friends… maybe more than that someday. I understand if you don’t ever want to talk to me again. Anyway, I just want you to know how great and amazing you are. Keep being you. P.S Your secret is safe with me. If I ever see Spider-Man swinging about, I’ll be thinking of you. Y/N

Peter doesn't care that you read his journal. He would have if he found one lying about. He smiles at the knowledge of you knowing his biggest secret and the fact that you might have a small crush on him. He can’t wait to see you tomorrow at school.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fan fiction #peter parker fan fic #peter parker fiction #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #marvel fan fiction #marvel fanfic #marvel fan fic #mcu #marvel fluff #mcu fanfiction #marvel fiction

[lovefks]

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲?—𝖬𝗂𝗀𝗎𝖾𝗅 𝖮‘𝖧𝖺𝗋𝖺 𝗑 f!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

❬ ❛ 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ❜ ❭ getting creepy love letters isn’t normal, but finding out why it was written is even creepier.

❬ ❛ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ❜ ❭ Angst, kinda fluff(?) 763wc

Again,

A new letter, again.

Ever since you started working with the spider society, you’ve gotten love letters(?).

Well you don’t exactly know if those letters are love letter; they are write in Spanish and well; you can’t speak or read Spanish.

There are so many Spider-People who can speak Spanish, it literally could be anyone.

The first letter was on your desk, you first thought it was for the wrong person because Spanish wasn’t your language. You went to one of your Spanish speaking Spider friends and asked if they could translate it.

Mi dulzura, mis ojos se bendicen cada vez que te veo. aunque no sea la primera vez; bueno, no es la primera vez para mí...

(My sweetness, my eyes get blessed every time I see you. even though it’s not the first time; well the first time for me…)

That was a very strange letter. ‘Who she’s me for the first time but it wasn’t the first time?’

It took you a while to get that translated. You thought about that letter for so long and tried to figure out what it could mean.

The letters got more strange after a while;

Mi dulzura, sé que no me conoces, que no me conociste en tu universo porque me alejaron de ti... pero te miro, te necesito, te deseo; en todos los sentidos.

(My sweetness, I know you don’t know me, you didn’t met me in your universe because I was taken away from you.. but I watch you, I need you, I want you; in every way.)

“Ya coño! y/n! fucking daydreaming and stop the anomaly!” The stern voice of Miguel O’Hara yelled through your ear-microphone. ‘He’s always so grumpy, I don’t think he likes me’

🕸️🧛|

“That was so fucking stupid of you y/n! You almost got yourself killed! eso fue tan estúpido!” Ye yelled while walking around angrily.

It probably was your fault, you got distracted by those letters that you neglect your job. “Look, I am sorry Miguel, but some weird things are happening and it distracts me from everything” regret and fear was heard in your voice.

Miguel could obviously hear that fear but decided to ignore it. “Well it’s not exactly my fault is it!? You are so estúpido, mi dulzura” he said while rolling his eyes.

Mi dulzura

Mi dulzura

Mi dulzura!

But this doesn’t make any sense!? How could Miguel?-

No. it had to be a confusion, it couldn’t be Miguel he wouldn’t-

“I need to go, it’s an emergency!” He yelled and jumped into a portal To whatever dimension he had to go.

‘This is perfect’ you thought.

‘Swap’ now on his platform trying to open his screens which where password saved. Obviously.

IAmRude123

IHateEveryone1234

IAmTheOnlyRealSpiderMan2099

None of those worked. ‚Damn it‘ you whispered.

GabriellaMyLove2099

„You are now logged in“

‚That’s not lyla‘ you thought

There where so many folders, you had do idea where to look; that was until you came across a folder named

Gabriella & y/n

You frowned. What could that be? Why did Miguel has a folder with your name on it? Why would he have such a folder?

You clicked on the folder and a big amount of videos showed up. You clicked on the first video.

„Papá no!“ the little voice of Gabriella giggled.

On the video is Miguel tickling Gabriella while someone is filming.

„Mamá tell pap-pap-papá to stop“ she now giggled even more. Then the camera got turned around and it showed-

You.

Miguel came behind the camera and out his arm around your shoulder, then he grabbed your face and kissed you on the lips. „Mi dulzura“ he murmured against your lips.

„ugh! No no“ Gabriellas small joking voice came from behind the camera.

„No I wanna kiss your mamí-„

No.

You stopped the video immediately.

This couldn’t be… how could this be?

You knew how the Spider-Verse worked, but you would have never thought that Miguel and you-

But now it all makes sense!

„Mi dulzura, sé que no me conoces, que no me conociste en tu universo porque me alejaron de ti...-„

(My sweetness, I know that you don't know me, that you didn't know me in your universe because they took me away from you...)

It made sense now.

You watched some more videos, it were all video of you, well not you, playing with Gabriella, kissing Miguel, cuddling with both of them.

Even making love with Miguel-

It was all too much to take, how could he-

„Oh so now you finally found out, Mi dulzura“

Oh no.

#miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara #spiderverse x reader #across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman x reader #spider man 2099 x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #spider man 2099 #angst #fluff #gabriella o’hara #miguel o’hara x you #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n

[llserenell]

“It starts with sorry”

Summary: Vox slips up, he finally finds himself confessing after all these years of rivalry. But, It starts with sorry, doesn't it?

Notes: this is an au made by me and my friend, @culssi! If you would like more information, please check out our shared blog, @rftvs-au. All the information, that we could think of, is pinned. :)

Next chapter—>

Love me dead:

“I gave you SO MUCH" Vox shouted in the other man's direction, an uncontrollable amount of rage coursing within him as he balled his fist and lunged at him, only just missing as Alastor dodged his attack with a well timed sidestep.

Why was he feeling this anger, this rage? What was the reason behind all these emotions? He felt so enraged, so betrayed. Even after all these years, these feelings refused to leave him.

"You gave me nothing." Alastor bit back with a cold expression, eyes narrowing as he sent a tendril towards Vox, only for the TV demon to teleport out of the way. "Nothing?" Vox practically chuckled out, "NOTHING?!" He repeated, his tone turning twisted and violent, "I gave up everything for you! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" He shouted, his voice glitching and full of emotion as he brought his hands to his chest. "I..did everything i could for you, Alastor." Vox said, his voice threatening to break, "But that.." he chuckled, "that was never enough for you, was it?" Vox asked, looking up to meet the other man's gaze, his expression slightly crazed.

Nothing. Alastor said nothing, standing there with an unreadable expression; his smile remained plastered on his face, his eyes were staring coldly into Vox's, his hands were balled into fists. It was like he wanted to say something, but was holding himself back.

"It wasn't, was it?!" Vox snapped, grabbing hold of Alastor's jacket, "WAS IT?" He exclaimed angrily in hopes to get a response, but still, there was no reply.

For a brief moment, there was silence. Though for the few seconds it lasted, it felt like minutes, hours even! It was ample time to collect himself, to think over things, yet he didn't. He couldn't. All he could feel was this anger, this burning rage as he looked into the eyes of a man he once loved, once cared for. For a split second, Vox's gaze almost softened, his eyes wide as they searched Alastor's face.

“You..." Vox peered into Alastor's eyes, hoping to find a trace of regret, dreading to be heartbroken once more, but there was only a chilling, disdainful glare. "You never really cared for me," he realized, his voice betraying confusion, almost transforming the assertion into a plea for affirmation. "Did you?" he added, a bitter chuckle escaping him as he noticed Alastor's gaze soften slightly.

Electricity sparked from his hands, nails digging into his palms enough to draw blood. "After everything I did for you..." his voice was low, spoken through gritted teeth. "You NEVER CARED!!!" Vox glitched out, a hot pink substance leaking down his screen, eye spiraling as he lunged for Alastor, pinning him to the floor.

Looking down at Alastor, seeing him in such a frustrated state, pinned down like this, it filled Vox with pride, an overwhelming heat rushing down to his groin.

“Fuck, you little bitch…” Vox breathed out, chuckling as he wrapped his hands around Alastor’s neck, slowly digging his claws in.

“You never meant anything to me,” Alastor growled, struggling to get him off, eyebrows knitting together with annoyance. “You ARE nothing.”

Static emitted from his screen, glitching and buffering, his face growing cold as he bared his teeth, raising his fist in a blind fit of rage. "YOU FU-FU-FŲCK-CKING PRICK!!" Vox shouted, delivering hard blows to Alastor’s face repeatedly, immediately feeling a rush of satisfaction wash over him.

He loved the sadistic pleasure he derived from it, yet at the same time, he hated how much he enjoyed it—inflicting pain on someone he once cared for, someone he still cares for. But this rage, this hatred, still coursed through him.

“YOU MEANT THE WORLD TO ME!" His voice was filled with raw emotion, his anger escalating with each word.

Hands grabbed hold of Alastor’s jacket, hoisting him up to meet Vox’s enraged gaze, “YOU MEANT E-ÊVERY-EVERYTHING TO ME!” Vox screamed in Alastor’s face, bringing him to his feet and slamming him into a nearby wall. The only thing keeping him up were Vox’s hands, which digged painfully deep into his arms. 

His vision looked blurred, and he could feel the blood trickling down his face. His eyes widened and filled with panic as he was met with bright monitors staring down at him, giant claws digging through his sleeves and into his skin. “I LOVED YOU, ALASTOR!!” Vox shouted, “Vox-“ Alastor spoke with a shaky voice, a cough following shortly after, “I LOVE YOU!!” Vox interrupted, breathing heavily, slowly shifting out of his demon form, his grip on Alastor’s arms loosening as he came to a realisation.

He messed up.

•————————————————————•

Yayyyy, I finished the first chapterrr!! I’m sorry for the bad and out of character writing, this is my first fanfic in this fandom and I haven’t watched the show (I’ve only seen some scenes)

There may be mistakes, and I apologise for that, you lot. I’m not the best at writing, but I’m hoping to improve so I can give you all the satisfaction of enjoyment.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please comment what you think, what you like, and ways I can improve! I’d love to see your thoughts!

Sorry, I’m terrible at writing 🥲

@venusforfran here’s the finished product, I hope you enjoyyy!!❤️❤️

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox fanfiction #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #radio forgave the video star au #writing #angst #I don’t know what to tag #enjoy #love you all #hazbin fandom #hazbin hotel au #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox #one sided radiostatic #radiosilence #unrequited love #alastor angst #could you call it angst #vox angst #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel fic #vox #alastor #one sided staticradio #onewaybroadcast

[v1leblood]

I’m looking for someone who can crack Amy Dallon open for me, and lakesbian thought you might have ideas! Everything about her is so interesting: being a body manipulator who brands herself as a healer, being a kid with the weight of the world on her shoulders, being raised by a woman who resents her, falling in love with her sister because she’s never felt like she belonged to the family. But when I think about the mindrape and the fleshpuddle, I bounce right off. They’re so over-the-top evil actions that I can’t conceive of a theory of mind for a her. So…thoughts about Amy?

to start with thoughts: i like amy. i like her a lot even! probably top 5 characters in worm to me. i think she's probably one of the most homophobic characters ever written and i also think she's incredibly tragic and compelling

to begin with, the first bit of mind control was, for all intents and purposes, an accident. victoria hugs her, amy's overwhelmed, and in the heat of the moment essentially literalizes her desires by making victoria like her. she's instantly remorseful and offers to fix it, but victoria's horrified and runs away. there's a lot of discourse surrounding the degree to which it was or wasn't accidental, but to me, the fact that she Immediately regrets it and that the text describes it as a semi-conscious reaction puts it pretty thoroughly in the camp of 'didn't mean to do this'. imo, if you were to Remove powers from the situation, it would be the equivalent of amy going in for a kiss -- she's overwhelmed and her guard's down from how emotionally bruised and battered she is and she does something rash, only powers make everything worse and more extreme and it turns into that whole clusterfuck instead. so, like, is amy accidentally or mostly accidentally making victoria like her back okay? obviously not, but i do think its an understandable Mistake to make

with the second bout of mindcontrol, its obviously dicier. not accidental, to start with, but while fucked up and wrong, there Is a rationale. amy wants victoria to be okay. victoria might die or be permanently disfigured because of her injuries by crawler. victoria won't let amy heal her because of how disgusted and angry she is at amy. obviously its better that victoria's healed, so amy decides to do what's best for victoria against victoria's wishes. (worth noting that taking it upon yourself to Do What's Best for someone else against their express desire is exactly what victoria did when she hugged amy despite amy's warnings) so amy mind controls her again, harder this time, and convinces herself that she's going to fix victoria's body And Then turn off the love effect. it's fucked up, unjustifiable, and wrong, but i think you can See how amy comes to make that decision, through a combination of a genuine humanitarian argument (victoria needs to be healed or she might be disfigured forever) and self-delusion (i'll not only be able to do this in the state the city's in, but i'll fix victoria's mind when i'm done)

and then there's the time when she turns victoria into a car. years down the line metatextual information and ward confirm it to be an instance of literal, rather than metaphorical, rape on amy's part, but i don't think that was the intention in worm and it's not my preferred interpretation (i think it's an insane idea that wildbow, who with his own words said he wouldn't depict rape in worm more explicitly than what the implications of heartbreaker's power portray, would write it as rape and then spend an insane amount of screen time focusing on amy and her story after that point while continuing to portray her broadly sympathetically). whatever the case though, it's an instance of amy going through with a gross violation of victoria's mental and bodily autonomy. the facts of the in-universe power mechanics remain the same whichever the interpretation -- amy, frazzled and traumatized, couldn't fix victoria anymore, her power not making the correct adjustments to her form.

amy convinced herself that she would spend some time with victoria while she licked her wounds and then remove the mind control and let her go, but she couldn't even fix her back into her old shape. it is an evil act. it's fucked up. but it's not... out of nowhere, you know? it's a culmination of amy's obsession and self-delusion and the lingering mental health crisis that's been hovering over her all book finally coming to a head, making her fall down a rabbit hole of self-justification that says that it's alright that she does this and that because it means she can fix victoria only to end up being wholly unable to fix her At All, and in fact only making victoria Worse

so like. i think amy does fucked up things to varying degrees of culpability and "forgivability", but there's definitely Reasons for why she did them, even if they're fucked up or not very good

by the time we get to ward there's no qualia whatsoever though lol she's just an evil devilspawn

#asks #parahumans #worm spoilers

[lukabitch]

I have a request but Idk if you have ever watched the Resident evil the final chapter movie (or the rest) so i will put a spoiler warning here lmao

Spoiler :

So Wesker Like gets his leg chopped off in the end by a door (i think it was a door) and he has to stay there until everything Explodes and he dies so i wanted to ask if you could maybe write something where the male reader is down there with alice and the others but when the others left the reader Hesitates for a second and decided to like get back to wesker, help him with his leg and get him out of the place before everything explodes, I imagine that the reader and wesker always had this like villain x Hero Releationship where they tease each other but never rly make a move because they fight on different sides but because the Reader has feelings for Wesker and Wesker was always like kinda nice to us we decide to save him and he is thankful and finally makes a real move (like a small kiss or something like that and maybe a confession) but then he teases us afterwards with his stupid Attractive smirk🙄 and we just laugh it off and slap him softly at the arm while smirking too

Im just down bad for this dude rn im so sorry💀 you ofc dont have to write that, you can just ignore it but i had that in mind for a while now and i cant get it out or write it myself because im bad at like everything in my existence, have a Great day/night <3

I appreciate the amount of detail you put into this. Seriously you went above and beyond the expectations on this blog. Thank you so much for the request Anon! :)

Cw: Blood, dismemberment, general medical stuff, i read the wiki still might be inaccurate.

“We’re gotta go!” Alice called out you and the rest of the crew. Everyone was quick to make their way to the exit. You however turned back and head further into the building. Your mind was fighting against what you were doing but another part of you was saying do it.

You moved fast not wasting a second to get to Wesker. Hearing him struggle made you worried that getting him out would be useless. Still you made it down to him without a leg.“Shit hold on!” Rushing over to him you immediately tied a makeshift tourniquet just below the knee.

You pulled him up and drag him out of the building. You got him in a car and fucking floored it. The building blew up shortly after getting the fuck out. “I need you to tell me where one of your safe houses are.” He mumbled an address as you make sharp turns.

“You’re a horrible driver.” Wesker chuckled out causing you to flip him off. “Don’t make me regret not leaving your ass.” You looked over to see him giving one of his signature smirks. “You love me too much to do that pretty boy.”

You haven’t really thought about your feelings for the man. The two of you always had this banter that was kind of flirty. Even if you wanted to go for it things just wouldn’t work out. “Yeah sure that’s exactly why I went back for you.” You tried to sound sarcastic but you didn’t sound sure of it.

Pulling into a driveway you hopped out and pulled Wesker out having him lean on you. It was a bit difficult to get him inside especially without the adrenaline. You managed though and got him laying down. “Look I’m going to cauterise the wound. Unless you have morphine in your pocket it’s going to hurt.”

He just nods his head bracing himself for the pain to come. There wasn’t much to do just heat some metal and press against the open wound. Wesker took it well considering though you weren’t too shocked about that. You wrapped up the wound the best you can.

“There you go sorry that I don’t have anything to numb it.” You smiled up at him before grabbing a blanket for him. “Thank you Y/n.” He pulled you down wrapping the blanket around both of you. This definitely isn’t how you expected today to go but you weren’t complaining.

“You look like a puppy leaning against me like that.” You would have talked back if he did kiss you on the lips. He watched your face darken with blush. “Thank you for coming back for me. I love you for it.” He seemed really sincere about it.

“I love you too wesker.” You mumbled giving him a peck on the cheek. “I know you do.” Of course he has to be a cocky asshole about it. You can’t help but smile at him you really do love him.

#dbd #dead by daylight #dbd x male reader #dbd killer #request #albert wesker #albert wesker x male reader #wesker x male reader #dbd wesker #dbd mastermind #dbd fanfic #re fanfic #resdient evil #resdient evil fanfic

[vyglitchcraft]

I wanna be a housewife to Ghost or anyone in 141 but how can i do that when all of my cooking has a fuck ton of spices in em, Brits can't handle spices or spicy things in general, they're gonna have stomach ache every time they eat my cooking

Although this got me thinking who in 141 has the WORSE spice tolerance? Imagine Asian!reader eating something like ayam geprek or samyang, one the guys wants to try and asks "is it spicy?" "No not really, here you should try!' And after one bite, they run to the kitchen chugging milk or water like no tomorrow

So heres my list

Ghost

- he knows he's not good with spice, i mean he can handle spicy chicken wing or something similar but he won't go out of his way to get something he knows would wreck him

- compared to other brits? He could handle spice very well

- eats things with a fuck ton of siracha or chili sauce he probably can't handle any type of Sambal except sambel ijo, he can handle that

- but if eats something that is way too spicy for him, he will be completely silent, even more than usual. yeah he feels pain, like horrible amounts of pain, he's just good at hiding it

Price

- i mean he's...okay? Not as good as Simon but he can handle a bit

- similar to Ghost, he won't go out of his way to find ultra spicy stuff

- it wrecks HAVOC on this man. Like he is sweating, chugging alcohol (which makes it worse), and banging the table. He hates it

- he yells at Soap or the reader for this, although don't take his words to heart, he's just in pain

Soap and Gaz

- same level of spice tolerance but definitely the weakest in reboot cast

- they dare each other to eat spicy shit just for fun, yes this includes Ghost and friends. Price has gotten tired of em doing these types of shits, he ain't listening to em complaining that they can't work today because they have a stomach ache, yeah he is tired of it

- Soap will let out curses that you have never even heard in your entire life. He might as well speak in another language like the words he's screaming out shouldn't even come out of a human, his accent also gets 10x stronger

- Gaz is much calmer, you can see the panic in his eyes as he quietly drinks a cup of milk while staring at nothing. Has no idea why he's doing this, but he knows he's gonna do it again later

Roach

- poor boy can't handle spice at all, avoids spicy stuff like the devil

- he's the one that panics and immediately goes to the sink and washes his mouth.

- he's usually quiet, doesn't talk at all but the one time you could hear him talk is when he's spiced out. He mumbles jumbled up words and cries, why did he do this to himself?

- the only exception to Price's rule because it causes him so much pain that he can't even push himself to work

Bonus! Alejandro

- Spice GOD, he's Mexican of course he can handle his spice and dammit he's actually smug about it after founding out most can't handle it

- bro eats everything with chili sauce, Ghost pales in comparison.

- the only thing he can't handle? Samyang noodles. He overestimated himself when Soap dared him to eat a bowl of it "this? Spicy? You're over exaggerating, here let me try" and then immediately regrets it

- his reaction is similar to Price. He tries to talk as much as he could because he hopes that it's gonna take his attention away from the pain but nah it doesn't work

#task force 141 #x reader #simon riley #call of duty modern warfare #captain price #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #alejandro vargas

[lysol1201]

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving: Holding Out For A Hero

Vendetta!Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader (can be read platonically or romantically)

A second part to Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving, but can be read on its own.

Summary: You see Leon again, but you’re both on the clock.

Word Count: 1201

Genre: erm idk fluff i guess, depending on how you read it

TW: Mentions of drinking, cults, blood, erm fighting, badly written fighting, this is very poorly written imo. i’m tryna get back in the writing groove. anyway, lmk if more, not beta read we die like luis

++++

It had been 6 months since your 30th birthday. You had never heard from Leon since that day. Although a good time, the two of you went your separate ways (play separate ways) without any contact information. There was that mutual understanding that it was the one night you two needed. You didn’t know if you’d ever see Leon again.

Well, until you did.

“Oh, hey!” You greeted the blue eyed man who looked at you in shock and confusion. “Nice to see you again,” You smiled as he ran over to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” Leon shouted. You may have been used to it, but seeing you tied up in a sack with a bloody face and ritual paintings all over, he was very fucking confused.

You chuckled. “How else did you think you found this location?” That’s when it clicked in Leon’s head. Bait. “Oh, they’re coming. You don’t know me,” You spoke with a serious tone, and before he could respond, you began to scream. “Who are you? What are you doing? Get away from me!”

In shock, Leon looked at you as if not sure how to play along. “Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, turning around to find more fucked up people in some sort of cult. He thought he was over it, but turns out the world refused to stop being stupid.

He had his pistol in hand and prepared, raising it up to shoot those who ran at him. While he shot, ducked, and kicked, he realized the amount of those after him just kept growing and growing. He turned around to find you, but to his dismay, you were gone.

Leon wanted to shout for you, but remembered what you had said. “You don’t know me.” He groaned at the words you had told him, but obeyed. He didn’t shout for you. And before he could complain to himself even more, big stomps were heard. He turned to the side, and there he was faced, again, with some giant pain in the ass.

“God, give me a fucking break,” Leon sighed, frustrated, and annoyed by his surroundings. Fear no longer filled him, it was just irritation. “Fuck off, already!” He raised his deep voice, shooting at the large creature headed straight for him, somehow managing to successfully use whoever tried to attack him as some sort of shield for everything thrown at him.

While Leon fought, he looked down quickly at his watch. 11:58 pm. “God fucking damnit Chris, hurry your ass up.” He grumbled, regretting ever choosing to help Chris with this mission. Or, maybe he didn’t.

He saw you again.

Wait a minute. Speaking of you, where the fuck were you?

As soon as that thought popped into his head, a grenade was thrown into the crowd that went after him, blowing up a good chunk of those who were just trying to kill him. Then, right after, something was thrown right at the giant creature. It stuck.

“Leon, run!” He heard the familiar voice. Yours.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Leon shouted back, immediately turning around and running before the large explosive went off, tearing the creature to bits, throwing Leon across the platform from the force. The world was hazy for a moment as he tried to keep consciousness, but from the amount of times he had been thrown, he was hard headed.

Soon enough, an arm forcefully lifted him up. “No sleeping on the job, Leon.” The gruff man spoke. Leon felt his senses return, as he turned to face Chris.

“Where are they?” Were the first words Leon mumbled.

Chris furrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to respond, before he was interrupted. “Right here,” Your voice boomed through behind him.

His head quickly quipped back to view you as he called out for you, rushing to tackle you in a hug. “Where the fuck did you go?” Leon asked. His tone couldn’t show if he was worried or pissed, but you could tell it was a bit of both.

“I’ve been to this rodeo before, Leon, you just gotta trust me.”

“You know them?” Chris approached the two, confused, and almost concerned by Leon actually hugging someone.

Leon had let go of you to turn to face Chris. “You know them?” He emphasized the question, directing it back to Chris.

“They’re working on this case with us,” Chris explained, the “us” referring to the BSAA. He walked past Leon and went straight to you. “Do you have it?”

You scoffed. “Of course I do,” You proudly assured, taking a small chip out of your pocket and handing it to Chris. “Should have all the information you need on whoever the guy is you’re after, whatshisname. Josh. Let’s call him Josh.”

“No. Not Josh.”

“But-“

“Another name.”

“Fine… um… Paul.”

Chris only groaned, changing the topic. “Since this area is cleared out, let’s get back to safety. Need to get you two patched up before me and Leon enter the main building.” Chris explained.

“Wait,” Leon quickly turned to Chris. “What about them?”

“Their job is done, they can get patched up and go-“

“No,” Leon blurted out. He wasn’t entirely sure why. “I mean, I just... I…” He tried to find the words. To find the words that wouldn’t embarrass him, make him look like a pathetic fool.

I don’t want them to go. He thought.

You just smiled a bit at him, turning around to walk away. Then, he panicked. “Wait- don’t leave!” He walked over, grabbing your arm to keep you from walking away.

“Woah,” You turned to face Leon. “I’m not leaving?”

Ada. He thought to himself. I can’t let them leave… not like Ada. Not again.

“I- um-“ Suddenly, he felt embarrassed. You’re not Ada. “Nothing, I don’t-“

You could tell something was bothering him. That turmoil in his head that you had seen before in the countless random drunk conversations you two had months ago. You knew when it was time to derail the conversation. “I’ll be getting patched up, and I’m going to be looking out. I finished my job, I’m no longer bait. So, now, I’m just a backup distraction, if need be.” You explained. “So, team, are we ready to party?”

++++

Leon didn’t know how to feel after the mission, on the ride back to safety. He didn’t know how to feel about seeing you battered and bruised, talking to a more battered and bruised Chris. It wasn’t jealousy, no. Of course not. Unless?

“Hey, Leon?” Your voice snapped him out of his trance. “When’s your birthday?”

“What?”

“Well, it’s been 6 months since mine. Yours has to be soon, right?”

You were right. His birthday was soon. He’d be 38. “Yeah.” He spoke, letting you know his birthday. Yet, he said it so solemnly.

“Hey, don’t worry. We can go drinking again if you like. And look, you’re still in your 30’s,” You smiled at him, pushing him with a playful punch.

Leon scoffed with amusement. “Yeah.”

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving, right?”

He smiled.

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving.”

Leon chose not to drink that year. That time, he had something worth remembering.

You.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #resident evil vendetta #resident evil vendetta leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil leon kennedy

[itsalinh]

I mean some people clearly do not pay any attention to the show they are watching because what the heck??

1. Lucy is not the villain. She’s not trying to get in the way of Hawk and Tim, ever.

Gosh the sheer amount of hate towards her the past two weeks is insane. How come women in every gay show always receive the hate? Well, maybe some writers were actually lazy and the fastest way the could think of was to villanize women so they could have less a problem to think about. But this is not the case for FT where every character shows their own color, and they have reasons for every action they take.

Yes, she married Hawk. But it was bc everybody expected them to do that since, idk, the very beginning? Bc she adored him and trusted him enough? And not to mention Hawk asked her to marry him? Remind y’all, she’s also the victim of the era.

Yes, she burnt Tim’s letter. It was crazy enough to hear your own mother lecturing you to shut up about your husband’s outside behaviours as long as he comes back home at the end of the day. But actually receiving a letter from his ex-lover, whom is a man, saying that he was still in love with your man, was on another level! Lucy had every right to confront Hawk and made a fuss about everything. Yet she was so calm and reasoned, knowing that if she threw a tantrum then everybody’d know her husband was gay and they’d all suffer. Lucy knew for a fact that even if Hawk did receive the letter, he wouldn’t have done anything at all, so nothing changed.

And I love that she told Tim about it. She did not regret anything, nor felt any shame, just a plain announcement that she knew everything from the start of this marriage already. She did what had to be done. She could’ve been upset with Tim for bringing danger and misery to her family, but she just simply told him about the letter and let the man go. Splendid writing!

2. Hawk is gay. Hawk is not bisexual.

Never know I have to clarify this obvious fact. Him being married to a woman and having sex with her does not mean he’s bisexual. That’s just what gay men do to hide their true nature and to live peacefully in this world. Maybe not the US, but many countries nowadays still do not approve same-sex marriage, and queer people still have to marry someone they don’t love just to have “a shield” to cover for themselves. Has Hawk ever shown any interests in women? No. Has Hawk ever had sex with another woman besides his wife? No. Was it true that all of his sex partners now and then were men? Yes. So, that’s your answer. He’s gay as fuck.

3. Hawk is not the only person to blame. Tim is also at fault.

Roast me later, hear me out.

Hawk is a shitty person, I agree. He has done so many cruel things to his lover, his wife, and his child, and he continues to do so bc he’s a shitty person.

But, after all the shitty things Hawk did, Tim came back to him. Hawk warned Tim about their relationship very early. “But Skippy, that’s all it was, that’s all it can be. I’m sorry.”. Tim was soft for Hawk, so he accepted that easily. He’d love to love, rather than not having love at all. Hawk broke up with Tim on the day before Christmas, he was prepared to end it all so that Tim wouldn’t rely his emotions too much on him. For some reasons they got back to each other again, only to be separated one more time 6-7 months later. Tim made Hawk promise not to write, yet he was the one to break the promise. 14 years later, Tim couldn’t help himself but seeing Hawk again, sneaking outside his house just to witness his “happy” family. He was aware of the pain and guilt, but he was so lost in love, his “consuming love”, he gave in every time.

I know Tim did not deserve any of this, he had a pure heart and he gave it all to Hawk. That’s why we love him, and we feel pity for him too. But he had choices he was not willing to make, so it’s on him too yk.

4. There’s more to Tim’s guilt.

After jerking off with Hawk, Tim immediately forced Hawk to leave him. But why people only mentioned that it was bc he felt guilty with God? I believe he had 2 things to be sorry for. 1 is the reason everybody was talking about, God. The 2nd one, I’m pretty sure he felt guilty towards Lucy too. He couldn’t hold himself, he missed his man so damn much, and he let his heart took over for a sec. Tim knew he shouldn’t bc that was so wrong, and he did something really really awful to someone who’s having a wife and two children at home. He hated himself for it.

—

If you hate Lucy or Hawk, please block me I’m begging you bc I can’t stand another person interpret them wrongly like that. For the sake of my mental health, please block me with your every power!

#fellow travelers #linhstfu #sometimes I think to myself am I watching the same show as them #bc clearly how the hell they could think of that?

[starry-blue-echoes]

Legally Stars: I just. Had. The craziest idea. Based on the release date of a certain game.

So it's 2002, a good amount of time after the mess in Italy. Jotaro wants to help the kids take a breather, but he isn't sure how. Then he sees an ad for a video game and he pauses.

Right there near the bottom of the poster is, of all characters, Donald Duck. He looks at it more closely and... yep, that's the Disney logo, along with some company called Squaresoft.

He isn't the biggest fan of video games, but Joseph did get the kids a PS2 last Christmas, and Ungalo is a huge fan of Disney. Jolyne less so, but she still likes the company and their movies.

He buys the game, but he's still doubtful. How good can this 'Kingdom Hearts' be?

(9 years later, Pucci is beaten into unconsciousness by a Bohemian Rhapsody-summoned, spiky-haired kid wielding a giant key.)

I'll admit I don't know a whole lot about Kingdom Hearts but the fucking snort I let out reading this holy shit-

I regret nothing about making Ungalo a Disney fan because it opens up avenues of sheer insane bullshit like this and makes everything extrodinarily funnier, and it also just hit me that growing up........ Ungalo and the other kids are probably going to use their Stands a TON, especially given the fact they're in an environment where they can freely do so and explore things, and now I rotating ideas of how that would affect them

Ungalo would of course occasionally use Bohemian Rahpsody on his favorites, but after that gets a TON of attention, he also probably begins to get an appreciation for more niche, unknown media. He learns to control his Stand on a much smaller scale but spends time wondering what would happen if he fully cut loose

Rikiel likes to practice with finer controls and while his Stand can't be played with as safely as his siblings, that doesn't stop them from trying to come up with games so he won't feel left out. One of their favorites is a sort of sight based hide and seek where Rikiel Stands in a single spot and has to try and spot their hiding places and direct the rods to them

and Donatello LOVES walking around places and seeing what the ground can tell him. He knows a ridiculous amount of random, untimately meaningless gossip and loves to regale his siblings with stories of what he's heard. He usually doesn't do anything more recent than the last few years to save himself the awkwardness of knowing the people Under World shows him, but it's still very entertaining nontheless

Naturally when Jolyne obtains her Stand, they IMMEDIATELY jump as the oppurtinity. They'd of course always done their best to include her before, but now that she can actually see their Stands and has one of her own the possibilities are endless

I like to imagine the brothers all make sure to be very calm and un-serious about Stone Free. They little sister had to go through enough stress and fear getting her Stand in the first place, she doesn't need to be treated like she was something dangerous just because she had a powerful Stand. In there eyes, she's still their Jolyne, only now she can turn into string

Jolyne takes a shine to cats cradles and embroidery, but she is also unfairley hard to catch in her brother's opinion. She becomes crazily flexible and anytime when they wrestle or play tag, she'll simply slip out of any holds she's put in and wrap around her opponent so they're the one caught instead

but shifting gears a bit, this ALSO got me thinking of everything Post-Golden Wind and also just Jotaro being a Cool Dad/Uncle. After Jotaro very violently curbstomps Diavolo, I'd imagine there's a moment of hesitancy from the Bucci Gang because yeah this man came out of nowhere and just beat the shit out of the BOSS who's been giving us a lot of trouble like it was nothing, but all their worries abate when all four of the kids tackle him with a hug

it's only later they realize No, Mr.Jotaro Is That Scary, He's Just Got A Soft Spot For The Kids And Maybe Giorno

#legally stars #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #golden wind #golden wind spoilers #jjba part 5 #jjba jotaro #jotaro kujo #jjba ungalo #ungalo #bohemian rhapsody #jjba rikiel #rikiel #sky high #jjba donatello #donatello versus #under world #jjba jolyne #jolyne kujo #bucci gang #sb answers #ailingwriter

[whumpiary]

technically a follow on from this piece. could probably stand alone. this piece has been 80% done in my google docs for three years so if you see any big holes in it uhhh. no you didn't.

if you've ever wanted some vague exposition on cass' powers or choices, then this is for you

content warning: mentions of death, victim blaming, aftermath of violence/assault, referenced dubcon/noncon, brief mind control

-

The common room at Bergen Estate gets quiet at night. Most of the charges prefer their own rooms as it gets dark. Hiding from the bogeyman.

But Harley liked the large, dark emptiness of the common room.

The curved chairs, the pillars, the rows of books and video games lined up along the shelves. The big oak tables. Bean bags in the corner. Rugs here and there. The whole place had the energy of some sort of bizarre combination between a kid’s playroom and a university library. But Harley wanted a space to think, and this was the easiest one.

Their intuition had been right and wrong in equal amounts tonight. They’d known they would be called to Christopher’s lounge tonight. And they were. And they knew that they would be fine after. And they are. But… if they were so fine why do they feel so God fucking awful?

“Harley can go, right? It’s not like we need them.”

Every time they try to push the memory from their head, it bobs to the surface again like an apple in water.

“I have to say, Harley… I really am so disappointed in you.”

They stare out the large bay window, at the leafless trees silhouetted in the mix of light from the garden and from the moon. The whole thing looks ghostly. Gothic. The dark through the glass makes the whole window reflective; a giant mirror just waiting to show them their face. But it’s dark in here too. It’s a dark room reflected on a dark night. That’s why it’s so obvious when there’s a shuffling flash of light behind them, making their heart skip.

The door opens, someone steps through, and then it closes. Dark again. Harley stiffens, freezes, trying to catch another glimpse of who it is in the reflection of the window but it's back to shadows on shadows on shadows.

They listen as the person shuffles to one of the cushioned seats. Shuffles. Like it hurts to move. They sit so carefully that Harley can barely hear them. Then there's quiet. Stillness. An exhale.

Harley doesn’t move. They know stillness. They know silence. Have known it for longer than they’ve been here.

But then there’s another exhale.

And another.

Any hitch of breath that might be happening in between is more or less silent.  Which means, usually… crying. 

Harley feels themself cringe. The Bergen Boys don't cry. Those are the rules. Not Christopher's rules but the deeper, unspoken ones between the lot of them. You don’t complain, you don’t ask for help, you don’t cry. Or if you did, it got beaten out of you quicksmart. Everything else was a free for all as far as Harley has ever been able to tell. 

So the shadow person has come to the common room in the middle of the night. Assuming, like Harley had, that it would be empty. That it would be safe.

Guilt washes over them all at once, guttural and nauseating and they realise all of a sudden that intentionally or not just by sitting here, listening, they're imposing. Intruding. Doing the wrong thing. And then the fear beneath that, on top of that, around that, that if they wait too long and the shadow person notices them, they may well end up on the wrong side of thrown fists. Again.

Harley shifts on the couch where they sit, exaggerating the whisper scrape of fabric on fabric, and leans back on the left side where they know the leg creaks.

The shadow person's breathing stops immediately and Harley hears them stand.

"Who's there?" 

Harley freezes again, regretting making their presence known. Cassius. 

"I can see you. On the couch. Get over here." His voice is sharp and violent. Deeper than usual. There's a childish part of Harley, not as far beneath the surface as they’d like, that wishes desperately they’d just stay silent and hidden. Safe.

But, like they were told, they uncurl their legs. Stand. Turn. Start to walk. 

Harley can see the moment that the light from the window must catch their face. Cassius' face softens, eyes fluttering closed and body sagging with what was maybe relief. 

“Harls,” he says, running a hand over his face as he sits back down. Harley doesn’t miss the wince. “Jesus Christ, man, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” The apology flies out of them like a verbal flinch. “I’ll leave.”

“No, ple-” Cassius stops himself, eyes shuttering closed. Harley watches him take a deep breath, brow furrowing briefly. You don’t cry. You don’t complain. You don’t ask for help. “You can stay. If you want. I don't mind.”

Harley hesitates for a moment, glancing around half-uselessly, before choosing a seat across from the other charge and folding into it. 

“What are you doing up so late?” Cassius asks, as though they’ve bumped into each other at a truck stop. At a bar. Fancy seeing you here. 

Harley shrugs. “I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep. I kept…” thinking about what you were doing. They bite down on their tongue to keep themselves from saying more. It’s stupid. 

They trail off as Cassius looks up at them and the dull light from the window catches the shape of his brow. At the blood smeared along his temple. The bruising already flaring up along his cheek. “Did… did Beauche do that to you?”

Cassius huffs out a half laugh, running his tongue between his teeth and the obviously bruised tissue of his cheek. He drags his hand up, knuckle brushing softly against his brow. “Yep. What a gentleman, huh?”

“But Christopher said he wouldn’t be violent.”

Cassius scoffs, “Yeah and Christopher’s such a shining beacon of truth, huh?”

Cassius sits back in his chair, eyes hard, and Harley holds their breath. With the shadows of the trees outside dancing across his face, the shading of the bruises and the swelling there, Cassius looks half monster.

Then his expression softens, his body relaxes. “Nah, it was my fault." He lets out a sigh, hand running back through his hair. "The guy wanted me to cry.”

“And did you?” Cassius’ glare is immediate. Has Harley slamming their jaw shut so quickly their teeth click together. “Sorry.”

Cassius shrugs a shoulder in acceptance of the apology and leans back in the chair. He closes his eyes and all at once it’s like some mask comes down. He looks exhausted and hurt and… young, actually. Harley always forgets that. He’s younger than them. About a three year gap between them.

“Why are you up?” Harley says, after the silence gets unbearably fragile. “Here, I mean. I thought you’d be…” They struggle for a tactful way to put it. “In the other wing.”

“Nah, he didn’t want me to stay, thank fuck. And Christopher doesn’t like me coming in af-... Um. He doesn’t like me coming in too late,” Cassius says, picking non-existent dirt out from under his finger nails. He clears his throat a little as his face flinches in and out of a frown. “Plus, the sooner I see him, the sooner I have to… you know…”

He gestures loosely at his face and Harley frowns. The sooner he’d have to do what? Get rid of the bruises? Get rid of the pain that keeps making him flinch and close his eyes? None of them talked about it but they’d all seen it. Bruises fading on Cassius just to bloom on his brother in minutes. Always after a visit to Christopher. Always without a word spoken.

Harley can’t help their own contempt, “Isn’t that a good thing for you?”

Cassius looks at them with an expression Harley can’t place, dark eyes flicking between both of Harley’s, as though searching for something. He looks angry. Murderous. Violent. Then he snorts and it’s gone. “Yeah. Sure.”

He drops his head, hands fidgeting between his knees. With the angle and the shadows, Harley can only just make out the shape of his nose, his eyes half hidden behind his hair. It sticks out at awkward angles around his head like a terrible crown. Frizzy waves in some parts, kinked curls in others.

It'll suit him more when he leaves and he grows it longer.

The thought comes unprompted, unbidden and with the utmost certainty. Like the predictions always do. Just a slice of truth falling into the head with the right prompt. An understanding that that's just… how things will be.

It's not the first time Harley's thought something like it. That Cassius will do much better once he leaves. The notion of it is almost horrifying. Cassius has been here longer than they have. It’s hard to imagine Bergen Estate without its golden boy. 

Harley chews on their cheek and “If I ask you something, will you answer truthfully?” 

Cassius shrugs. Smirks. “Probably not.”

Harley rolls their eyes and looks away, annoyance settling in their gut. They don’t even know why they bother with Cassius. He’s always the exact same. They're about to stand up to leave when Cassius clears his throat and-

“I’ll trade you for it,” he says softly, dark eyes shining with something unnameable in the dim light. “You ask me something, I ask you something. No lies.”

“Promise?”

Cassius just shrugs. Which is probably as good a promise as Harley’s going to get, really. They sigh and trace the patterning of the rug with their eyes before pursing their lips together and looking back up at Cassius with a focussed sincerity.

They swallow. Inhale. Hands grip the arms of the chair. "You hate it here.”

Cass’ eyes skitter to the side and back. "That's… not a question."

"Why don't you leave?"

“Same as you, dumbass. Legally binding contract.”

“No, I mean-” Harley bites down on their cheek and tries to figure out the right words to say what they mean. “You can make him do whatever you want, right? You can make anyone do what you want. So why don’t you just… make him get rid of you."

Cassius exhales in a way that could almost be a laugh. But probably isn’t. “It’s… complicated.”

“Because of Henri?”

He shrugs, looking bored as he meets their gaze. “Sure.”

“No lies.”

Cassius sighs, leaning back slouched in the chair. He shrugs. “Just because I can make someone want to do something, it doesn’t mean they’ll do it.”

“Like… he’d resist you?”

“No.” Cassius pulls a face. “I mean yes, maybe. But no… It’s like…” He makes a sound hallway between a sigh and a groan. He rolls his neck, eyes roaming around the room like he’s trying to figure something out. He leans his chin on his hand, fingers skirting over his lips before looking back to Harley. “Hᴀʀʟᴇʏ, sᴏʟᴠᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ.”

Harley stands instantly. They turn on their foot and move to the door and for the first time in their life everything is certain. Everything is clear. Everything makes so much sense and all they have to do is… Is to… 

“Um…”

Cass half smiles. There's something vicious and cruel behind his eyes. “Dᴏ ɪᴛ, Hᴀʀʟᴇʏ. Sᴏʟᴠᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ.”

They step forward, compulsively, and for some bizarre reason they start raising their arms in front of them, as though their body can’t figure out a way to solve the issue even though they want to and as soon as that thought hits them the frantic desire starts to dissipate, filling instead with deep dread and panic. 

They turn their head towards him, eyes wide. Frozen. "I…" 

Cassius’ gaze is dark and heavy. Hungry and calculating. His jaw sets. “Hᴀʀʟᴇʏ, ɢᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ Cʜʀɪsᴛᴏᴘʜᴇʀ.”

The feeling that floods them is white hot and immediate. Desire and rage running through them like lava. They’re not sure they’ve ever moved so fast, wheeling on a foot, making it to the door, but no sooner are they reaching for the handle then-

“Nah, ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ɪᴛ. Cᴏᴍᴇ sɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ.”

All at once the desire dissipates, and the panic sets in like shame. Like failure. They come back over. They sit back down. Then their thoughts catch up and they look at Cassius with fury. How dare he do that? How dare he go into their head and make them feel that? 

Cassius just smiles. Shrugs. “Sorry. Figured I’d show not tell.”

‘’I could’ve killed him.”

Cassius shrugs, unshaded and unconvinced. “Nah. You would’ve got halfway down the hall and changed your mind.”

“But what if I didn’t?”

“Then you would’ve gotten to his room and realised you didn’t know how. You wouldn’t have killed him.”

“I might’ve,” they protest, still indignant.

Cass shrugs, smile lazy and tired, “But you didn’t.”

They try, for a few moments, to hold on to the anger. The indignation. It’s so, so easy to hate him when he’s far away. When they can’t see him or only see him at a distance. It’s much much harder three feet away from him, where the moonlight show the bags under his eyes as dark as the bruise blossoming above his temple.

“He takes you away from here sometimes,” they say eventually. “You could… when you were away from here. You could leave. Make him let you leave. That’s not that hard.”

Cassius just looks at them, chin resting on his hand, fingers covering his mouth. He raises his eyebrows at them expectantly, foot bouncing like a motor. He’s probably trying to look annoyed. Sarcastic. But he just looks like a sad little boy.

Understanding clicks in.

“But Henri…” Harley voices for him.

Cassius shrugs a shoulder. A tear manages to make it all the way to his cheekbone before he swipes it away with the side of his fist. The Bergen Boys don’t cry. “Told you. Complicated.”

This isn’t how things are meant to be. Cassius is meant to stay in the other wing, up on his damn pedestal and away in Christopher’s bedroom. He’s not meant to cry in the common room. He’s meant to be the golden boy in his golden room. It’s meant to be easy to hate him. He’s meant to be arrogant and selfish and mean and rude and-

“Your French isn’t better than mine,” they say suddenly. They can’t quite say where the compulsion to say it comes from.

Cassius blinks, “What?”

“In the office before, you said your French was better than mine. It’s not.”

He looks at them for a moment, frowning and annoyed and then suddenly he’s laughing, eyebrows shooting up in exhausted amusement, “You’re weird as fuck, you know that?”

“What? No I’m not,” Harley spits, suddenly self-conscious and antsy.

“Yes you are,” Cassius says. “I did you a fucking favour and a half tonight-“

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“And you know what, you’re welcome by the way.”

“I never asked you to-”

“Oh, save it. Yes you fucking did. You know what I can do. You know what I can feel. You were basically fucking screaming at me.”

And that, they do remember. Closing their eyes. Drowning Christopher’s voice out in their head. The huge loud static of I don’t want this, I don’t want this, I don’t want this.

The air stills. The atmosphere between them settles like dust in the shadows and darkens again. Guilt creeps over Harley's shoulders and rests with heavy claws. They shouldn’t have said anything. 

“My French is more usable than yours,” Cass mutters.

They’re truly unsure if he’s being genuine or just trying to break the ice that’s frosted over. They try for the latter, “Your grammar sucks.”

“Yeah, well we didn’t get much further than ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi’, so I don’t think I did fine,” he gives them a dead-eyed smile that they assume is meant to cast the comment in humour. They don’t really find it very funny.

After a few awkward beats, Cassius gives up the ghost. He clears his throat, “Alright. My turn,” 

Harley readjusts in their seat, straightening their spine, tucking their hair behind their ears to listen for the question. They wait one moment. And then two. The whole time the golden boy seems to scrutinise them, looking into their eyes as he sizes them up, makes some sort of assessment.

Cassius’ voice is low and jarringly sad as he finally lands on a question, “Why do you hate me so much?”

If it was possible for Harley to feel every cell in their body crystallise… that was what this feeling was. “I don’t hate you.”

Cassius smiles. Tilts his head. The blood along his temple catches in the light. “No lies.”

Harley frowns and looks away, turning their head to look out the window across the other side of the room. They wonder if he remembers the day they met as well as they do. It was in this room. Just a few feet from where they were sitting now. He’d been sitting on the arm of the couch making some smart mouth comment to someone and they’d thought he looked friendly. And then his eyes had met theirs and prediction hit like an epiphany:

You’re going to kill me one day.

Unprompted, unbidden and with the utmost certainty. A slice of truth falling into their head.

You’re going to kill me one day to save yourself.

They knit their fingers together in their lap, pressing knuckle to knuckle. They press their lips into a thin line. Something with wings — a bird or a bat, they can’t tell — takes flight from one of the trees outside the window. Darkness reflects darkness back.

After it becomes clear they’re not going to answer, Cassius prompts again, “Was it something I did?”

They shrug one shoulder. Like he does. Look down at their hands. The shadows across the room dance and shimmer.

“Is it because of…” out of the corner of their eye, Harley sees him wave a hand at himself. “You know. What I do.” A pause. They see his Adam’s apple bob. “The way I do it.”

Harley frowns, ducks their head lower so they don’t have to look at him, even in periphery. They manage to shake their head this time. 

“Is it…” Cassius stops and starts. Stalls. Clears his throat. “Is it something I’m going to do?”

Harley finds themself looking up, despite themself.

They meet his eyes. Time stops for a second.

Cass looks so full of grief for a moment that Harley’s certain the rest of the world must’ve been robbed of it. All shoved into one person to hold for a second. His voice sounds wrecked, “I’m sorry.”

They almost believe him, too. And they hate him all the more for it.

Did he have to be so perfect at this, too? Did he have to be forgivable for this, too? Can’t they just hate him? Can’t they just hate his guts and let him get whadt he’s owed for the things that he’s done, does, is going to do? They want to ask him. They want to tell him. All of it. They want to see his face as he tries to figure out how to respond. They want to know how he feels when he finds out he’s gonna be a murderer.

“It’s okay,” is what tumbles out of their mouth instead.

“Yeah,” Cass laughs and another tear makes it out of him. They hate him for it. He swipes at it with the side of a closed fist. “No it isn’t.”

They hate him as he stands up. 

They hate him as he cuts the conversation short.

They hate him as he passes and gives the back of their chair a pat.

“See you around, Harls.”

They watch the window for the flash of light as the door opens, a yellow glow spilling into the room for a moment like blood from a cut. And then the door shuts with a click. And the room is back to its inky darkness. And the golden boy is gone. And Harley isn’t.

And their hatred is an unspooled ball of yarn in the middle of the floor.

#harley #cassius #bergen estate #implied or referenced noncon #victim blaming cw #death mention cw #violent cw #wip to wob #this is your reminder that you can go back and finish an old piece and post it #for free #may your abandoned wips be more of a prodigal son to you #im mixing metaphors like cake batter babeyyy #we are the daughters of the wips you forgot to burn

[tbmunson]

Hi, I see your requests are open, may i ask Gareth Emerson x Reader , when they fighting and making up the reason can be any, any little thing. Hope everything is oOK with request

Yellow Flowers - Gareth Emerson x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Gareth have a small argument because he indirectly called you dumb.

Warnings: Slight angst, Anger, Fluff.

WC: 650ish

Check out my Masterlist for more from me!

"Pantera? Better than Antrax? Really?" Gareth looked at you in disbelief.

"Well Anthrax isn't better than Pantera, so yeah?" You nodded lightly, raising your eyebrows to reaffirm your statement.

Gareth shook his head, dropping his hands down to the cafeteria table. "No way. Are you dumb?"

You knew he didn't mean it like that, but it still hurt. You weren't the smartest in most classes. You gave it your all and barely stayed afloat. English was really the only class you excelled in due to the amount of time you'd spent reading as a child. "Yeah, I fucking guess." You stood abruptly, leaving your tray and Gareth at the table.

He knew as soon as the word left his mouth he'd screwed up, especially when the look of hurt that flashed across your face. He stood, calling after you. "Sugar, wait! That's not what I... meant." He sighed and plopped down, resting his head in his hands. "Son of a bitch."

"I can't believe you said that, dude." Jeff stated, shaking his head at his friend.

Gareth's shoulders shook with a single bitter chuckle as he looked over at his friend. "Yeah, me either."

You went the rest of the school day without talking to him, then after school you went straight home instead of going to Corroded Coffin's band practice. You had your nose in a history book, studying for your test Monday, when the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, Sugar, I'm about to be on the way to pick you up for our date tonight." Gareth sounded a bit worried, like you were going to tell him no, which is basically what you did.

"Actually, Gare,"

Good, he thought, my nickname. Can't be too mad if they're using that.

"I have a huge history test Monday. Can't fail that. Trying to be less dumb."

Okay, maybe they're still mad.

"Baby, come on. You know I didn't mean it like that." He explained, leaning his head against the wall he was resting on, one hand in his front pocket and the other pressing the phone to his ear.

You were silent for a moment, taking it in. "I know. It still hurt though. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." You hung the phone up before you could start crying, but you immediately regretted not telling him you loved him. You did that at the end of every phone call. You just watched the phone sitting on the hook for a few minutes, wondering if he'd call you back.

He didn't.

Instead he got in his truck and headed to the store. He grabbed your favorite snacks and a small bouquet of yellow flowers before stopping off at Family Video for a movie. It wasn't anything extravagant, but he wanted you to know he loved you and he was sorry.

You'd had a shitty time studying. You kept looking at the phone, wondering if he'd ever call you back, wondering if you'd been maybe a little too sensitive. You had closed the history book and were seconds away from grabbing the phone and dialing his number when the doorbell rang.

Gareth stood there, wondering if you'd answer the door. You were home alone after all. Answering the door when you weren't expecting anyone could be dangerous. He was deep in his thoughts when he heard you coming down the stairs.

You peeked through the peephole, seeing your boyfriend standing there with a brown paper bag and flowers. You opened the door, a small smile on your face. "What's this?" You asked, lacing your fingers together in front of you.

"An apology. I really shouldn't have said that, no matter if I didn't mean it or not. I know you do your best and I'm sorry that I hurt you." He was looking at you, sincerity on his face and in his words.

You bottom lip wobbled a bit before you jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, Sugar."

#gareth emerson #gareth the great #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson x y/n #gareth emerson fluff #gareth emerson angst #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x gn!reader

[callme-littlesunshine]

ITS OVER

Warning: Throwing up, Heartbreak, Sad

Why me? I never wanted this to happen. Everything was fine a few days ago and now? Its all over…

Why did he do this to me? I gave him my heart.. he played with my feelings. He let me feel special for a amount of time and now? Now I’m broken.

Why? This is the question I asked myself for quite a while now. Why me? What did I do wrong? Was I… annoying? No.. i was myself the entire time..

Maybe he got sick of my face.. but why did he tell me I have a face he could stare at for a long time? Did he really just play with me? i should’ve never gave him a second chance after everything he did at first but.. love made me blind.

I remember everything like it was yesterday.. it’s still fresh… it still hurts pretty bad.. but hey.. life goes on right?

A few weeks later I sat with a few Ghouls at the table, eating a little. Since this day, I almost ate nothing. Alpha, a former ghoul was always watching out for me. Making sure that I ate something thats why I’m right here now.

I actually don’t like it here because HE is also there, looking at me from time to time. I felt sick.. like throwing up. Thats why I stood up and speed walked out of the door, to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, I heard someone knock at the door, I was silent, actually I don’t want someone near me at the moment cause I could break down any minute. But the person on the other side wasn’t giving up anytime soon. So I got up, washed my face and cleaned my mouth before opening the door. Looking into the eyes of Rain.

„I know this is a stupid question but.. Y/N are you okay? Please talk to me..“ he said and hugging me after I left the bathroom door open. I immediately returned the hug. „No.. i am not okay. He broke my fucking heart I wish he would burn in Hell“ i said but immediately regreted it. I hate him but deep inside I still love him and thats what hurts the most. I wish I could just forget.

But when you have to live in the same place, it was kinda hard to forget. Rain let go off me and wiped my tears away. I didn’t know they were there in the first place.

„I know it’s hard. It hurts me to see you like this. Why don’t you leave for a few days? Maybe this will help you. I even can ask sister Imerator if soneone can come with you, maybe Sunshine or Aurora.. so you don’t have to be alone“ he suggested but I shook my head no. „No.. its oksy I dont want to run away from my feelings I have to get through this.“ i smiled and we went back.

„Can you.. at least tell me what happened between you two?“ he asked, i sighed deeply vut agreed. He was like a brother always there for me.. like Alpha. We went for the common room, at this time of the day, nobody was there. We went to the couch taking a seat.

„I actually don’t know what really happened but He ignored me at some point. I asked him whats wrong but he never answered me. I wrote so many letters because he wasn’t talking to me but I never got a letter back why he is like this. I even asked Aether about it but he also didn’t know a thing but he saw the change. It was a few days lster when I found out, he was back with the other Sister who dumped him. I don’t know why.. it hurts when I think about it. Rain what did I do wrong? Is it my face? Is it my personality? My body? What is it? Am I not good enough for him?“ i looked down while asking him.

I know I am enough, I’m me and nobody is like me but why did he do this? Was I just.. some random girl he wanted to have fun with because he wanted to forget about the oter sister? Maybe.. but i am no toy. I wish I never met him.

„Oh Y/N… i didn’t know… he always said he wanted to be near you.. he wanted your attention and everything. But I never thought he would be like this after having your attention. I will kill him for sure.“ now rain sounded pissed. I never saw him like this. He was always calm… shy even but this is new to me.

„No rain.. leave it. I know I will get my chance for revenge I have to wait.. but in another way I don’t want revenge, i still want to be a part of his life and I don’t even care if I’m a friend or but but I know this will never happen. I know I should not be this stupid about someone who broke my heart.. but i can’t help it..“ i sighed leaning back and closing my eyes. I’m just exhausted.

„I definitely gonna talk to him. You know what? Rest for a bit.. I’m gonna talk to sister imperator that you‘re sick. Just… dont do something stupid.. i know you will“ he sniled slightly and I nodded. Im too exhausted to fo something stupid. My personality changed after this happened with Sodo… and I hate it.

Maybe… my old self will come back.. at some point.

#sad #ghost imagine #ghost x reader #rain x reader #dewdrop x reader #rain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #angst #nameless ghoul x reader #ghost band