#the first pain

[silviakundera]

I'm at ep 35 of yanxi and I love it so much but wow my blood is boiling like at least gao was an evil monster with some depth but she owned it and she was so dramatic and fun but erqing and consort Chun are pissing me off to the highest degree the absolute fakeness all over a man they spoke 5 words t their whole lives damn girls have some dignity I beg. I don't want to get spoiled but please tell me ying luo returns it to them 100 times fold I need to see them get fucked up so badly. Also consort Xian is so insidious but lmao I respect her she's the only who seems as smart as ying luo when it's their turn to battle ooof it's gonna be riveting the 3 dimensional chess will be out of this world.

hard SAME anon, consort chun is the fucking worst. just the fact that her big beef is because of her own foolish & narcissistic fantasy...

(but then tbh I have to step back and admit I like that writing, because it captures the secret dark heart of humans.... that lil secret we keep inside that there is nothing in the world that will make us bite back harder & feel as much instinctive, vicious rage as when someone reveals to us that we were childisly deluded, that we are not as smart & important as we believed ourself to be. Consort Chun's villian arc is so BASIC, just like her. It's that she was wrong. There was no secret, tragic pact between her and the empress' brother! no romantic conspiracy! He doesn't hate her either, he is simply not thinking of her at all. She thought herself the heroine with doomed fate, a grand tale fraught with intrigue. and in fact she is nothing & no one. it was all in her head! ... and that revelation breaks her & fills her with boundless rage, a need to destroy. She can't accept this humiliation.)

Consort Xian is a fantastic villain and worthy adversary to our best girl Yinglou ❤. Yeah of course you know she can out plan, out last any motherfucker. 🙅

I always think her greatest edge in the palace battles is her POV she expresses in the 1st couple episodes : if she is slapped, humiliated, ground undeneath someone's heel - so be it. Wei Linglou will absorb any insult, any greviance. She will just hibernate & wait for an opportunity to take that next step towards her goals. NO indignity is too large to swallow. She will use every weapon at her disposal: including her own body & spirit. She never considers herself too precious.

This is actually incredible, ruthless self-control than few of the other players (including the emperor) can come even close to mastering. It makes her unpredictable to them.

#wei yingluo #story of yanxi palace #cdrama #consort chun-like think about it #that squirming scrabbling cold burn #of humiliation #upon realizing you were duped #you thought someone was hitting on u #u felt so attractive and powerful #then the sick dread - u read every interaction wrong #its not even about that person #the first pain #the deepest pain #is the shame #the cognitive dissonance #all the inner ego stroking #that has now turned back on u #like a sword to the gut

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[lotus-pear]

the day i picked up dazai or smth idk i've never read it

#can you tell i don't know how to draw animals #first time drawing odasaku he kinda reminds me of 22!dazai but older..........i'm in pain #they are so similar yet not #anyway i refuse to actually read this light novel bc it's going to be my thirteenth reason. i will absolutey fucking snap #no one could save me #ALSO NO TAGGING THIS W ODAZAI THEYRE FAMILY >:(( #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #oda sakunosuke #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #the day i picked up dazai #lotus draws

[lonesome-dreamsss]

his handprint may be burned into your skin but it's still the gentlest touch you've ever received.

#smth smth destiel #cas was always so gentle with dean #he knew of dean's pain and wanted to ease it!! #he wanted to be a good thing in dean's life!! #when he pulled him from hell it wasn't truly pulling #he cradled dean like he was the most precious thing in the world #and honestly he probably WAS the most precious thing in the world to cas #even as early as then #to quote 'when castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost' #god they make me insane #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #supernatural #does this count as fanfic even if it's one sentence #a poem perhaps #idk it's something that i wrote so i'll take it

[fromjannah]

this is how the dynamic goes right

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edwin paine #payneland #jannah speaks #ft a post from moot... cheers #the first one is up to interpretation. one of them should say bi. don't worry about it

[zosanbrainrot]

part 2 of Zoro in WCI

01 02

I tried to write something to sum up my thoughts on this, but then it got longer and longer and tbh I'm itching to write a fic set in this AU djjdkf I think I could develop on their inner feelings more than in the comic form

Before posting the first part I didn't realize people had such strong opinions on how this would play out lmaooo

imo, of course Zoro wants to fight Sanji, not with actual intent to harm (they threaten each other on the daily, come on), but because that's how they are together, how they communicate. He respects Luffy's decisions and their goal here, which is to learn what's really going on with Sanji, but he's gonna be pissy about it all he wants. They both have so many intense and conflicted feelings about this and neither has any idea how to resolve them. So they fight.

ofc yall are free to headcanon this interaction any other way you want <333

#hope you can hear the moment Sanji's heart shatters #you're walking the painful path you chose and then even this stupid marimo instead of playing your usual game of threats and violence #instead of making this easier for you he pierces right through your heart with the tiniest confession #I never hated you #but even if he didn't use to #he sure as hell despises every inch of you now #he must he has to #but this is what you chose #it is what you deserve #ANGST #PAIN #wci zoro au #obvi if I were to write it wouldnt write first person this just got out of hand #i love angst can you tell #zosan #i love keeping them in the 'what if maybe no he would never' hell #roronoa “i love you but I will take these feelings with me to the grave” zoro #blackleg “I need you to hate me because I simply don't deserve to be loved” sanji #rorona zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #zoro #my art #whole cake arc #whole cake island #one piece #one piece fanart

[tinyshinysylveon]

WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FILLER-CANON (?) IS THIS? 🥺😭 DEKU WITH TRAUMA BC OF KACCHAN 💔

#bnha #bakudeku #bkdk #bnha spoilers #mha #THIS ACTUALLY BRINGS ME PAIN?? #WHY IS THIS THE FIRST THING I SEE ON TWITTER

[art-of-the-maiden]

in which gangle causes psychic damage to the entire cast

#you can see me getting progressively lazier throughout the comic #i love caine. so much #but he’s such a pain in the ass to draw #this is canon btw #bubble told me itself #this is also the first time i’ve drawn any character other than caine and kinger #my gay old men <3 #pomni isn’t in the last picture bc she’s too short #tadc fanart #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #tadc zooble #tadc jax #tadc gangle #tadc ragatha #traditional art #comic #doodles #art

[densewentz]

a quick silly sketch based off my earlier post about the Cat King having a mistaken identity crisis when Edwin and Co. don't recognize him in his new cat form post-esther

#catwin #the cat king #edwin paine #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives spoilers #my art #if you saw this post earlier no you didnt #stupid sketch just to get it out of my head lol #he's in trouble boys #I haven't decided how i want to draw Edwin yet bear with me #this is like the first time ive touched my tablet since i went numb so its a little shitty but #it feels nice to make even a little bit of art

[greenglowinspooks]

The way that I’m brainrotting over a DCxDP crossover with a Danny who’s a vengeful villain rn

Like, let’s just say that the GiW finally get into contact with the JL. They need help neutralizing a threat, you see, and they’re on their last limb trying to keep civilians safe.

They have video evidence! They have studies to back their claims! The JL have to help them!

Unfortunately, the JL believe them. They join a fight against Danny, and defeat him due to being far more experienced than he is. Danny is locked away and experimented on by the GiW.

That would CHANGE a person. Your heroes turning against you and seeing you as a monster, being experimented on for who knows how long, not knowing if your friends and family are safe.

Danny gets out due to a simple mistake on the GiW’s part; having Blüdhaven as part of their transport route.

Of course the trucks were attacked, they’re government property!

So now, whoever decided to raid the government transport trucks (the Penguin or something) has a ton of experimental weapons with no idea how they work, and a heavily traumatized teenager.

Danny knows how they work. Danny can be useful! They won’t throw him out if he’s useful! And so, now Danny is working for the Penguin, altering the ectoplasm weapons to make them work on humans.

It’s a good deal for both parties. Danny gets to neurotically imprint on the Penguin like a small baby animal, and the Penguin gets a brilliant mind who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.

But eventually, Danny finds out what happened to his family in his absence.

Jazz is in Arkham. Not as a psychologist, but as a “patient.” Apparently, she snapped and completely destroyed the house, leveled a few blocks of Amity Park, and conducted organized attacks on government bases (mostly GiW) for months.

Sam and Tucker helped her, eventually splitting once Jazz was captured. Sam travels to areas of extreme pollution, completely overgrowing them with her plant powers. Currently she’s in the Amazon rainforest, engaging in an ongoing feud with logging companies. Sam is winning.

Tucker faked his death, and Danny has no idea where he is. He only knows that the death wasn’t real because of a code that the three of them made together, just in case.

Ellie’s trapped in the Infinite Realms. Danny had a failsafe in place so that if she was ever cornered by the GiW, she would be sent to her haunt in the GZ. However, with the portal destroyed, she can’t come back. Danny just hopes she’s okay.

His parents are now top GiW scientists. They’re traveling the country giving speeches. They’re working on a battery powered by ectoplasm, but apparently started “having difficulties” around the same time that Danny escaped.

None of it is fair. None of it is right.

The Justice League destroyed his life, the lives of his friends, and they’re doing as good as ever. The GiW is respected, and his parents are happily working away for them.

Danny takes up some of his more experimental weapons and breaks Jazz out of Arkham. She’s a little different now, colder and more quiet, but she still loves him all the same. It’s an unimaginable comfort to him to see his sister again.

He can’t use his powers anymore. He’s so used to associating them with pain that even transforming into his ghost form is enough to take him down for hours.

However, he understands ectoplasm more than anyone else in the world. He knows how to use it in virtually everything; how it can become a weapon, how it can be used as a supplemental ingredient in poisons and nerve agents, how it can twist and distort the mind if applied correctly.

He doesn’t care what happens to him. He’s going to take down the GiW, and destroy the lives of the JL members who helped lock him away, just as they did to him.

No matter the cost.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #let Danny be scary and unsettling and evil WITHOUT being Dan!! do it!!!!! #at first the JL just think they’re dealing with a normal villain who’s angry at the world #the more details they get on him the more dread they feel #eventually they realize that they locked a 16-year-old away to be experimented on by the government for YEARS #and not that same kid is determined to ruin their lives #the GUILT. the PAIN. the realization that they so completely and fully failed this child #they’re speedrunning the 5 stages of grief and Danny is just like ‘oh no! anyways’ *fakes killing Red Robin to fuck with the bat*

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Dungeon Meshi crew 'leap' into action!

#dungeon meshi #marcille donato #laios touden #senshi #chilchuk tims #Full confession time: I originally planned to post this last thursday so I could caption it “Hoppy Leap year everyone!” #But as I was sketching I realized that the tentacles and Tansu party stuff came first #So devastated to have the frog episode and leap year be a week off. Almost a beautiful coincidence. #I love how they play on Marcille's vanity to get her to wear the outfit AND repair the situation #It is true her ears make the suit look very cute. #And shout out to our girl for having her priorities straight (heh) and not wanting to rescue her crush in a frog skin suit. #Though we all know Falin would be so into the idea. The painful thing that dungeon meshi never lets us forget is her absence #Falin would love to dress as a frog...She is meant to be there so much that it is painful. Beautiful tragedy beautiful writing. #The red dragon arc starts next week and I'm clawing at the walls. To those who are anime only: Get ready.

[wyrmswears]

hey so. click for quality.

speedpaint under cut:

#i started tjis before the latest leaks or i wouldve done nya tournament outfit #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #first time rendering water like this uhmm it was an experience #a painful one. but i like the result #jay walker #nya smith #nya jiang #lego ninjago #ninjago spoilers #ninjago leaks #dragons rising leaks #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dr spoilers #ninjago dr leaks #there thats enough tags surely #wyrm draws #jaya #ninjago jaya #lol divorce arc

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

#zukka #zukka fanart #sokka #sokka fanart #zuko #zuko fanart #atla #atla fanart #avatar the last airbender #zukka fic rec #myart #yall. yall. dani. this FIC #first off it made me cry twice. not like 'oh im crying' internet speak no. like. eyes are too blurry to read let me stop this for a sec #it is SO GOOD #your prose? amazing #your insights on grief? life changing #THEM??? THEM their relationship and trust #'zuko looked at him and his world shifted on its axis' #ive been thinking about that line for WEEKS STRAIGHT #i can't tell you how many passages i screenshot just because of how beautiful or cute they were #the moment of seeing the painting of sokka's mom? how did you manage to make it so telling character wise--so sweet so PAINful AND so #cute with their relationship?!!?! #'oh so you think i'm beautiful too' #GOD #i had so many scenes i wanted to draw it was crazy #also #'Our loved ones leave impressions on us that can still impact our decisions and feelings even after they're gone' #fuck. had me crying AGAIN #seriously this fic is so wonderful and not just through a zukka lens. truly life changing you're an AMAZING writer #the fandom is so lucky to have you and i can't Believe it took me so long to get around to reading this masterpiece

[hayden-christensen]

You didn't kill Anakin Skywalker, I did.

#swedit #starwarsedit #star wars #kenobiedit #kenobi #revenge of the sith #obi wan kenobi #obiwankenobiedit #anakin skywalker #anakinskywalkeredit #darth vader #anakin & obi wan #aniobiedit #userlumi #starwarsblr #*mine #*2024 #*gifs #2k #first edit of the year and it's pain :) #there's so much to be said about this and them I've had this idea since june 2022 #tried making it a few months ago but it didn't work out so here's attempt no2 haha

[punchedlines]

"the parallels between Bruce and the robins all becoming orphans young" ok that's nice but the parallels between Bruce and Cass both having lost their innocence after being confronted with death at 8 years old. The way they both have let the grief, the guilt, the impotence haunt them ever since and transformed it into more. The way they both, though in different ways, lost their parent(s). The way that the traumatic instances (and their upbringing until then) couldn't have been more different, yet it affected them so similarly and are the pillars for their current moral code and suicidal tendencies. Can't think about them too much or I go insane

#Batman #batgirl #Bruce Wayne #Cassandra Cain #batgirl 2000 #batfam #I also think its worth noting Cass first realizes about Batmans identity while seeing that tear streaked childhood picture of him #which is so interesting because his eyes are the portion most obscured by the cowl. she'd never seen his eyes before #she really read his grief his pain his loneliness and it clicked immediately because THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME #dc comics

[sharlinefreire]

ok, there's a famous meme in brazil about house md and i don't know if there is an english version for this meme, so i'll try to translate as best i can:

every episode of house md is like

> the patient arrives the hospital.

> the patient is a prostitute or a religious fanatic.

> dr. house attends the patient. she's very sick.

“dr. house, we don't know what to do!! she's bleeding from her eyes!!”

“do the exams, you idiot”

> dr. house will talk with the patient.

“you're stupid. fuck you.”

“dr. house, i hate youuu!! please heal meeee!!”

> cameron, chase and foreman come back to the room.

“dr. house, all the exams were negative. she's gonna die in 2 hours if we do nothing!! will be game over for her.”

“hmmm... game over... oh, there's a gameboy in her ass, that's the problem!”

“dr. house, you're an idiot, but we will check if there really is a gameboy in her ass.”

> they found the gameboy in her ass.

“oh my god, dr. house!! you were right. how did you know that?”

“the gameboys pikachu edition released in 1997 had an iodine-based battery, which if inserted in the butt makes your eyes bleed”

> the patient, cured, enters in the room.

“i was wrong about you, dr. house”

“fuck you, you're a whore! life is pain!!”

> dr. house go to lunch and flirt with dr. wilson <3

> the end.

#this is so funny to me #i'm so sorry #house md #hate crimes md #hilson #gregory house #james wilson #allison cameron #robert chase #eric foreman #dr house #dr wilson #english is not my first language #memes #lol #life is pain