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mumms-the-word · 3 months

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Day 28 of the BG3 Fic February Challenge

We're almost there guys :') I can't believe I've posted 28 fics about BG3 content here

I have Thoughts(TM) about what all of my Tav/Durges are doing after the game ends, after the epilogue, etc., but I wrote two for today (one was already written lol). If you're curious about what my Durges get up to, I've speculated in the tags since I haven't finished either game yet

Check out my masterlist of BG3 fics!

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28. Describe your Tav/Durge's life after BG3 ends

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Nearly six months had passed since Dani and her little company, as she liked to call them, had defeated the Netherbrain, but her work was far from over. The brain had wrecked her beloved Baldur's Gate, and while she could shrug off the damage to the Upper City districts, she couldn’t ignore the rest of the city. So just as soon as the celebrations were over, she rolled up her sleeves and got to work.

She’d half expected Gale to tire of Baldur’s Gate and ask her to leave it for Waterdeep, but to her surprise, he’d also rolled up his sleeves and offered his services wherever they were needed. She might have been the one dragging him hither and thither, finding new projects to tackle alongside Jaheira’s Harpers and Nine-Fingers’ guild and the Flaming Fist loyal to Ravengard, but Gale’s spellwork was invaluable in every circumstance and he was quick to offer solutions when others struggled to think of any. When he wasn’t researching a way to salvage the crown from the river and reforge it to give to Mystra (or, having completed that, ways of cooling down Karlach's heart, ways of granting Astarion the ability to walk in the sun again, a cure for Shadowheart's Sharran wound, and much, much more), he was following Dani, lending his magical strength to her and those she sought to help.

She only loved him more for it.

Together they worked to make sure the tiefling refugees were cared for. She knew the city well enough, even as damaged as it was, to know the best place for Danis and Bex to set up their bakery, or find shelter for the tieflings kids, who all seemed content enough to stick with Mol. Dammon was more than all set at his forge, Lakrissa and Alfira had already found a place on their own which they were turning into a music school, and Rolan had his tower, of course (and she would always be grateful for the fact that he opened up the tower’s resources to help with city’s reconstruction, too). It was only all too convenient that, apart of Rolan’s tower in the Upper City, the bakery, the forge, the music school, all of the homes and businesses of the tiefling refugees happened to be in the same district, even the same neighborhood. The Lower City had become a new home for the tieflings, with new families just waiting to take root.

She wasn’t entirely altruistic about her aid, however. As the savior of the city, she negotiated first pick of a house for her mother and another for the Rovers, both in good parts of the Lower City, before finally choosing a property for herself and Gale. Her mother and the Rovers would live near the new tiefling neighborhood where they could join in that community (if they so desired) while she and Gale secured a modest property overlooking the Chionthar and the hills beyond. The balcony didn’t quite offer the same sunset as Gale’s balcony in Waterdeep, but it was close.

It was in her little balcony that they sat now, six months since their victory, a bit tired from their day’s work but satisfied. Dani had decorated her balcony with a comfy loveseat similar to Gale’s in Waterdeep, and it was there that she loved to stretch out, her legs in Gale’s lap as she read a story or wrote down a song or, as their current personal project had become, jotting down notes and passages detailing their adventures in order to turn it into a book someday. Better to get a head start on Volo before he published his account with all the details all wrong. On evenings like this, Gale usually balanced a book on her legs or held the tome gingerly in one hand while his other hand absently smoothed up and down her calves. They spent many an afternoon like that, lost in their own little worlds, reading or writing.

At the moment, however, her legs once more in his lap, she was writing a letter to his mother, the slightly intimidating, dauntless Morena Dekarios. She remembered their first meeting all too well. Gale had insisted they take a break from their work in Baldur’s Gate to pay her a visit and break the news to her of their engagement in person. Dani agreed—after all, fair was fair. He had already met her mother, and her mother positively loved Gale. But Morena was another story entirely.

She was certain Morena would disapprove of her. Dani was hardly an elegant, well-educated woman of class or substance. And though Dani was rarely one to feel shaky nerves or stage fright, something about meeting Gale’s mother had made her palms sweaty and her brain second-guessing every decision that had led up to their meeting. She honestly, truly would have preferred to take on the Netherbain again, alone, than face Gale's mother and suffer her judgment.

But to her surprise, aside from a sharp once over the moment that Morena’s eyes had landed on her, she found Morena nothing but warm and welcoming. Morena was delighted that Gale had finally found someone to love him as much as she did and made Dani charmed and at ease in her lush Waterdhavian home. The only negative emotion Dani could discern from her was that she was a little sad that her boy had decided to live so far away...for now.

“It won’t be forever, right, my love?” Gale had said, turning to look at Dani. And though she wanted to protest a little—Baldur’s Gate was her home, after all, the place that had made her, had shaped her—she always had a hard time saying no to his warm, brown eyes. Or to adventure, when it called, and Waterdeep seemed like a place where adventure came in spades.

“We have work to complete in Baldur’s Gate,” she’d said, “but once that is done…I wouldn’t mind seeing what the City of Splendors has to offer.”

Of course, they were married in Baldur’s Gate, not Waterdeep. That part she had insisted on, feeling as though she might risk Morena’s ire to do so. But Morena had merely waved her hand, unflustered, and said it made sending invitations easier. Not every Dekarios liked to travel, it seemed.

The wedding itself had been quite small, by Waterdavian standards (so Gale had said) but she thought it was perfect. Her mother had made her wedding gown entirely from scratch, hand-stitching the embroidery along the hem of the skirt and around the neckline. Each member of the Merry Rovers had given her a sash to tie around her waist, as was customary for Baldur’s Gate bards. Brann had even gone a little misty-eyed when he put his sash, a soft, worn, light blue linen thing, in her hand. Liara had given her one in pinkish-red, insisting that she had been saving it for her own wedding day, but Dani clearly deserved it more. (Dani of course disagreed and promised to find an exquisite sash for Lee’s wedding, which was, they both agreed, long overdue.) Kellen had chosen a pleasant gold color, while Paraxxel, finally safe and recovering and back with the Rovers, had gone with a dark blue. The day of her wedding, Dani wore all four sashes from all four Rovers, arranging them so that each color was visible.

Brann had insisted he and the Rovers play for the festivities after the ceremony, but Dani pointed out Liara would very disappointed not to dance, so Brann had relented and said they would only play half the time if Dani and her “fancy wizard fiancé” could conjure up a band to play the other half. Gale had gone one step further and learned a spell to conjure spirit instruments just for the occasion, though Dani and the Rovers had to teach them the music beforehand (not that she minded a reason to play with her old troupe again).

She and Gale held their ceremony in a park overlooking the river, with tents and rugs and pillows and pieces of furniture scrounged together to make a half-decent ceremony and reception space for all the guests. Gale wanted to cast an illusion to create an entire palatial venue, but Dani told him to save his energy. She didn't care about the venue. She just wanted him there, and she wanted her friends there, and she wanted there to be music and dancing and food and wine and fun.

It didn't have to be perfect. She wasn't perfect. She didn't mind if all they did was pay a priest to say some words in the middle of the street, so long as she was well and truly married to him. Besides, the conglomeration of tents and furniture reminded her of the camps where their love had first formed. It may not impress her wealthier guests, but it was special to her.

They married at sunset, exchanging a kiss as the sun dipped down behind hills. Gale always did look best with the orange-gold light of a setting sun to make every warm tone in his face, eyes, and hair that much warmer. And he’d been swooningly handsome in his wedding garb, a gift from his mother and Tara, carefully selected to match Dani’s hand-made outfit without outshining it. She'd been all too giddy to show him off, to be on his arm. The Gale Dekarios, her new husband.

Nearly all their friends had made it, to her surprise. Astarion had to watch the ceremony from a safe, shadowy distance until the sun was set enough for him to join properly, but Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Jaheira, Minsc, Halsin, and a whole host of friends she’d made along the way—nearly every tiefling she’d bonded with, Jaheira’s kids, Florrick and Duke Ravengard of all people, and several others—they’d all been able to sit to view the ceremony itself. It was made all the more perfect when Gale surprised her with one of many wedding gifts, conjuring a scrying eye that allowed Karlach and Wyll to watch from Avernus and allowing Dani to briefly converse with them. She'd broken down in tears, missing two of her best friends, but she'd been grateful they would witness her wedding at all and that she could speak with them, even for a short time.

The post-ceremony festivities were a bit of a blur, now, a few weeks after all was said and done. Dani remembered getting Gale to dance not just once but several times, and dancing with plenty more people besides. Lee, Paraxxel, her mother, Brann, Shadowheart, even Astarion had deigned to join her for a brief turn. She remembered laughing often, kissing Gale often, hugging everyone she loved often. She remembered thinking that Baldur’s Gate had never looked so beautiful than it did in that park, surrounded by her friends and family, the trees hung with lanterns and fairy lights floating blissfully through the air.

And then it was over, and she and Gale had fallen into bed that night exhausted, only to rise the next morning with plans to return to the restoration of Baldur’s Gate.

That hadn’t happened, of course. They’d both slept in until around noon, and by that time they’d decided to just stay in for a day. Dani had promised Gale they’d go on a honeymoon trip as soon as they could be freed from a few obligations, but Gale had other plans. Since they were just going to stay at home for the day, why not make the most of it?

He’d spent hours conjuring illusions for her, starry galaxy skies and seas of stardust, as he used to do, but also grassy fields to lay in, mountain peaks to gaze out from, views from the deck of a ship sailing to far and exotic lands. In his visions she’d walked hand in hand with him through colorful markets and stood at the edge of canyons and valleys that took her breath away. And when his illusions started to wobble as he yawned and grew tired, she wrapped herself around him and kissed him a hundred times as thanks.

Alas, no rest for the wicked after that. They still had a city to rebuild. Books to write. Letters to answer. Patriars to ignore.

Dani smiled to herself as her pen paused on a sentence to Morena, glancing up at Gale. He was tracing idle circles in her leg with one hand while concentrating carefully on the book in his other hand. The setting sun glinted off his wedding band.

Like hers, it was made of two metals, a simple silver that had formerly been one of her many earrings and a beautiful gold that Gale had carefully selected from his mother's jewelry collection (which she was very quick to offer) to match the gold of Dani's eyes. They'd gotten Dammon to make two simple rings out of the metal and then found a jewelry smith to cut each ring in half, then join opposite halves together, and then engrave them. It was a Waterdhavian marriage custom, one that Dani had fallen in love with as Morena and Gale explained it to her. She flicked her gaze down to admire her own ring, appreciating the craftsmanship and what it meant to her and Gale, before looking back at him. He read on, absorbed in his own little world.

She took advantage of the moment to watch him, admiring his profile, the shape of his lips, how soft his hair looked. Her husband. Every time she thought that word she got a little giddy.

She shifted and reached out to brush her fingers against his shoulder, not wanting to disturb him too abruptly. But whatever had captured his attention, her touch had easily broken. He lowered the book immediately to turn and give her a smile, as if he'd been waiting for her to seek his attention.

“Yes, my love?”

She giggled slightly and sat up, shifting to sit comfortably in his lap. “I just wanted a kiss,” she said, weaving her fingers loosely together behind his neck. “Nothing much.”

“You know I am always willing to oblige you, my love,” he said, matching her smile. He set his book aside and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning in to brush his lips against hers once, twice, several times.

“I love you,” she murmured against his lips.

“I love you,” was his ready response. Always on his tongue, that little sentence. Always full of warmth and sincerity. He must have said it a thousand times already.

She looked forward to him saying it a thousand times more. Here, in Baldur's Gate, their new home, and beyond, in Waterdeep, on the road to new adventures, in the dark of the night, in the first hours of the morning.

She was happy to be in her city, seeing to its recovery, making sure everyone she loved had a warm home and that the city would be back to normal soon. But she knew deep down that it didn't really matter where she was. She was a Merry Rover, used to roaming. But now she was also Dani Dekarios, and she was content to be with Gale, her husband, wherever their adventures took them.

———

Ardynn gazed up at the stars, her head pillowed on Halsin’s bare arm as they lay, unclothed, on a threadbare blanket in a small clearing in the woods. Withers’ party had come and gone and they were on their way back to Thaniel’s lands, to the community they had built, together. Halsin was eager to regale the children with new stories for their bedtime tales and Ardynn was eager to settle once more into the life she had fought so hard to earn. A home of her own. A life partner to spend her days with. Children to care for and people to help as they built new lives in Thaniel’s recovering lands.

Halsin had been shocked when she responded to his plans of leaving Baldur’s Gate to build a refuge in Thaniel’s realm by insisting that she would go with him. He’d been quick to mention all that she would be leaving behind, but she shook her head, pressing her hand to his heart and reassuring him that she was certain of what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted to join him in his new purpose. She wanted to build a refuge with him, away from the city, where nature and society could live in a healthy balance. It was Halsin’s dream, but it had become hers, too.

So for the last six months, they’d worked together to build their little village, taking care of an entire gaggle of children, restoring buildings so that they could become homes for weary refugees, slowly but surely creating a home for themselves.

They had chosen a cabin that had been ripped in half by the destruction of the shadow curse, but had since been made whole again through Thaniel’s intervention. A living tree now grew up from the floorboards to hold part of the ceiling. Thick vines patched the holes in the walls and mossy rocks made up part of the new foundation. They tended their home as if it were another living thing in their care, because it was.

She couldn’t wait until they were back home again.

The owlbear was coming with them, too. He slumbered deeply several feet away, curled up in the grass. She would have to figure out where he would sleep once they were back home, but she didn’t mind. She loved the big, silly creature.

And he wouldn’t be the only new addition to their community, before long.

She turned her head to watch Halsin. His eyes were closed in meditation, his breathing deep and even, but she knew that he would awake with the barest touch of her hand. She didn’t disturb his meditation just yet. She simply watched, smiling to herself, cradling close the news she would have to give him soon. Perhaps tonight. Perhaps in a few days.

It was easy to keep it a secret for now. For one, the idea terrified her as much as it thrilled her. For another, she didn’t know how Halsin might react to such news. It was still so new to her, it barely felt real. But even she couldn’t ignore the flutters in her body anymore, and after Shadowheart’s subtle comment at the party…

You feel a little more substantial than before.

There was no denying it now. Shadowheart had been teasing, had chalked it up to Ardynn’s new settled lifestyle, but Ardynn knew better. And after a few more moments of conversation, Shadowheart had gleaned part of the situation for herself.

“Swear to keep it a secret?” Ardynn asked her. “I haven’t told anyone else. Not even Halsin.”

“You don’t want to announce that kind of news at a party like this? You never know when we’ll all be gathered together again.”

“I’ll tell everyone in time. In my own way. Once I’m sure I’m not imagining things.”

Shadowheart had relented and kept her silence, but it had been a little thrilling, finally having a friend that was in on the secret. Finally feeling like she wasn’t just imagining the changes she felt. She’d almost asked Shadowheart to do some kind of diagnostic magic, just confirm her suspicions, but she’d held back.

Now, though, she was absolutely certain. She pressed a hand to her belly and held her breath. There was a new, subtle firmness beneath her fingers, but that wasn’t what she was seeking. She closed her eyes, concentrating.

There. A tiny fluttering, almost so small as to be missed, deep within her. Unnoticeable by her fingers alone, but felt nonetheless.

Hello little one, she whispered silently in her mind.

She opened her eyes again, her face still turned toward Halsin’s. He remained deep in meditation, oblivious to her thoughts, her worries. She didn’t have to worry that he would be a terrible father. That part wasn't necessarily her concern. He lavished love and affection on the children that had accompanied them to live in Thaniel’s realm. She recalled the thought he had shared with her, spoken softly and mournfully, back when they were still in the city and had finally met Jaheira’s family.

I was never afforded a chance to start a family of my own. Serving nature always had to come first.

Now he had his family. He had dozens of children to share his love with, and a community of others who were helping to heal the land and tend to it. He had Thaniel, too, and he had her.

She just hoped there was a little bit of room left over in that big, fierce heart of his for one more.

She couldn’t wait any longer. She reached out and gently brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek, whispering his name. He turned his head, seeking more of her touch, as his eyes opened slowly. She waited until he was looking at her, fully awake, before smiling and cuddling closer into his side.

“I could stare at you for a lifetime,” he murmured, before she could say anything. The arm around her shifted and she felt his fingertips brush down her side. “Is there something wrong, my heart? I thought you would be asleep by now.”

She shook her head. “No, nothing is wrong. I was just thinking.” She took a deep breath and decided this would go better if she could more easily see his face. She sat up, shifting to settle on her knees and turning to face him. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for several days now.”

“Oh?” He propped himself up on one elbow, looking pleasantly curious. It helped settle the bundle of nerves in her stomach a little. “Tell me, my love.”

She opened her mouth to say the words but found she couldn’t at first. She swallowed and tried again, her words coming out in a small whisper. “I think I am with child.”

She saw the change in his expression immediately. He stared, his lips parting slightly, and then his gaze flicked down to look at her bare middle. A look of sudden, avid, almost boyish curiosity stole over his features and he sat up, pressing one large hand to her stomach, golden nature magic glowing from his palm and sinking into her skin. She held her breath, watching his face as it changed from curiosity to baffled wonder to misty-eyed joy. She panicked a little when he dropped his head down, pressing both hands into the fabric of the blanket beneath him, only to feel her heart wrench when he lifted his head again and she saw the tears gathered in his eyes.

“You are,” he breathed. “You’re with child.”

“Your child,” she said, cradling his face in her hands. Tears were threatening her eyes too now, especially when the first teardrop tracked down his cheek. She rubbed it away with her thumb. “Our child, Halsin.”

He whispered something she didn’t catch, some prayer or praise to Silvanus, and gathered her up in his arms, hugging her fiercely to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and hid her face in his neck, fighting the urge to laugh and to cry all at the same time. He laid back with her still held tightly in his arms before finally letting her go.

She pushed herself up on her hands, gazing down at him and finding his face wet with tears even as he grinned widely, elated. She laughed slightly and wiped the tears from his face. “You’re a bit big to be crying,” she said, recalling the words Oliver had said to him all those months ago. Halsin laughed too, wrapping his arms loosely around her middle.

“How could I not? I am not ashamed.”

“And you’re not upset?” she asked, still brushing her fingertips against his cheeks. She paused to lay a hand on his chest, gazing earnestly down at him. “We have so many children to look after already, and much work to do besides.”

“Upset? Far from it. A child of my own blood…” He caressed her face with his hand, sinking his fingers into her hair, and she couldn’t help but nuzzle into his palm out of habit. “It was a distant dream. I never assumed anyone would wish to stay with me long enough to make that a reality. And yet…here you are. Choosing me again and again.”

“I will always choose you,” she whispered. She pressed her hand more firmly against his chest, over his heart. “Always, Halsin. For as long as you’ll have me.”

He smiled, his face beaming with joy and love, and guided her head down so that they could kiss. She lost herself in his kisses for a moment, happy to be pressed against him, skin to skin, with only the moonlight as their witness. But then she felt his smile against her lips and his laughter against her body.

“I shall have to take better care of you once we are back home,” he murmured.

“And you shall have to be careful not to spoil our child more than you spoil any of the others,” she teased, pulling back to grin down at him. She knew he wouldn’t. Halsin loved all the children equally. It didn’t matter whether they were his blood or not.

“Our child,” he breathed, still caressing her cheek and gazing lovingly up at her. “I can scarcely believe it.”

She smiled and bent forward for another kiss. “I love you, Halsin,” she whispered.

“And I love you, my heart.” He pressed his hand to her belly again, turning his head to direct his voice downward toward it. “And I love you, little one.”

She giggled and rolled to the side until she was curled up against his side again. She guided one of his hands to rest on her belly and snuggled in close, closing her eyes. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“Nor I, my heart. Nor I.”

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aashi-heartfilia · 6 months

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What MaoMao feels for Jinshi...

(Vol 5 epilogue discussion)

Love, duh. She wouldn't let just anyone choke her to death. Isn't it obvious? She just doesn't realise it yet because of her repressed emotions. I've seen a lot of bad takes and people hating on the Vol 5 epilogue, saying it's one heck of a disaster but honestly, it's not. Here's why:

I think it does a very good job of humanizing Jinshi, the imperial brother. Before this point, we were always given a picture perfect image of Jinshi, in his most angelic form...but after seeing this, it looks like he's very much capable of murder, lol. No seriously!

Previously, Jinshi was always all sunshine and roses and this is the first time we see a pinnacle of his anger and frustration taking a form.

Honestly, anyone would be angry. Jinshi has done so much for MaoMao and almost everyone close to him knows that he has eyes on her and only her from pretty early on in the series and only MaoMao is the one person who seems to be in the dark. Or more precisely pretending to be in the dark.

She is literally running away from her own feelings and that's what made Jinshi so frustrated.

It was the same thing in the 'Frogging chapter' (yeah, that's what we're calling it). She was "playing the role of an ignorant maid who's in the dark as to what her supiriors are upto". Jinshi was trying to tell MaoMao that he is the imperial brother and he does in fact like her but that never happened because MaoMao kept pretending that it was a frog.

Same here, even if he didn't say it outright, he was dropping so many hints! Who else could have gifted MaoMao a Moon hairpin? Who would have given her beautiful dresses to wear in the banquet?

Jinshi is called the Moon Prince for a reason and that hairpin had a moon and opium poppy. even other people recognised that it was given by him to MaoMao like Rishu's half sister, so a smartass person like Mao should be able to guess that this was all from Jinshi.

The same person who's busy day and night made preparations for her, only to see some unknown random person dancing with her and kissing her hand.

He was jealous and it's only human.

In fact, I'm glad that he's not a complete saint.

He was mad at MaoMao for pretending to be in the dark when he has gone to great lengths to take care of her, and he was hurt that the same person would even suggest him to marry someone else, i.e. consort Rishu.

He was trying to tell her how he feels, and she wasn't even willing to acknowledge anything that is between them.

Adding to the fact, she knew the thing between Basen and Rishu and yet she chose to turn a blind eye, to the love that could blossom between them and suggested her name to Jinshi. It was wrong on so many levels because MaoMao knew everything and yet chose to give the most political suggestion she could think of.

Maybe because of her repressed emotions, she herself has become heartless while making decisions but just like a double edged sword, it has consequences.

So it was a mixture of anger, hurt and jealousy for Jinshi.

And he wanted MaoMao to feel the same.

The same amount of frustration he has felt as MaoMao keeps running away, just because it would be a little troublesome.

Yeah, he's shitty just like that, and so is she.

(and we love them for it ❤️)

Does it justify what he did? No. But it seems like MaoMao herself doesn't even mind it that much. She looked like well within her comfort zone. Otherwise, we know how capable she is of defending herself. But she was there, pretty much sitting with Jinshi until she dominated him completely and made her escape.

Guess they're both far from the vanilla couple that are usually expected in these kinds of series and I absolutely love it.

She was just mad he didn't poison her instead, like he promised her, to which he replied he would NEVER let her poison herself (because he also loves her a lot too, duh)

This entire scene looks more like a battle for sexual dominance, which MaoMao won.

She always has, since the very first day he saw the real her ❤️

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galedekarios · 6 months

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gale as a professor at blackstaff academy

i have to say that at first i wasn't too sold on the (then still fanon) idea of a professor ending because of gale's own prior anecdote about being irked by his previous students and their inadequacies.

i thought it might not be a good fit for him as far as professions go.

but reading the epilogue files, i have come around on it.

i think it's just one more way in which he's really grown into himself, become content with who he was in the past, the mistakes he made and what he has learned from them, and the person he wants to be in the future:

Player: You? A teacher? I'd hardly say you set the best example for impressionable young wizards... Gale: I think it makes perfect sense. devnote: Surprised you wouldn't recognise this, a tiny bit offended you don't trust him to do this Gale: Who better to warn of the perils of misusing magic than someone who was once only a wayward sneeze away from destroying a mid-sized settlement? devnote: playing up to his past a bit, you can imagine this is how he acts with his students Tara the Tressym: Don't remind me of those terrible times, Mr Dekarios. My blood pressure has only just recovered.

a few more cute banters & things we learn about gale and his new teaching position:

tara swipes at students who fall asleep in gale's classes, which he himself doesn't mind. he, too, slept through some of them (like his calishite lessons):

Player: Perhaps that's a good thing. I'm sure they're far better students than I was... Gale: Ah, so you still remember our little lesson? devnote: A little bit bashful, it was a vulnerable moment for him Gale: 'Teaching' you was hardly an effort at all. Not like my present cohort of apprentices. devnote: Complimentary, pulling the thought back to the teaching element after getting lost in the memory of the moment Gale: They try their best, of course - when they can manage to stay awake. devnote: Not upset by this - he slept through his fair share of classes as a student Tara the Tressym: The cheek of them! Nothing a well-placed swipe from Tara can't fix, though.

2. gale offered to teach more subjects than illusion via simulacra:

Player: Only a professor? With your expertise, I'd have thought you could teach every kind of magic going... Gale: I did offer, as a matter of fact. devnote: Secretly glad the player thinks so highly of him Gale: However, the Blackstaff insisted I couldn't teach every subject, nor could the simulacra of myself I offered to create for that purpose. devnote: Reluctantly accepts that this was the right decision Gale: So, I've settled for teaching the art of illusion. Magic to confound the senses, to render the impossible into reality, and to allow expression of that most magical attribute of all - imagination. devnote: Selling it a bit - he wants to make sure you appreciate how cool this is

3. gale has told his students about the player's adventures and will invite a player to be a guest lecturer:

Player: I found the love of my life. I'd say I'm pretty happy. Gale: And I couldn't be happier for you. A fitting reward for the sacrifices you made in getting here. Gale: I've told my students plenty of tales about our escapades. You're something of a hero to them, you know. Gale: I'd be delighted to introduce you to my current cohort - as a guest lecturer, perhaps? I'm sure they'd have plenty of questions for you. Player: It would be my pleasure. Gale: Excellent. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the allure of sharing your expertise. Gale: Of course you'll be most welcome to stay with me in my tower- Tara the Tressym: Ahem. Gale: My apologies, Tara. That would be our tower.

4. his students find him somewhat intimidating due to his backstory with mystra and the orb:

Gale: Well, that was quite lovely. I'm glad you're as pleased to see me as I am you. Gale: I have to say, I'm quite grateful to just be 'Gale' for the evening. Gale: I fear my students find me somewhat intimidating, due to my erm, explosive former reputation. I seem to put the fear of the gods into them. devnote: He plays up to his reputations a bit, so he isn't overly surprised Gale: Or the fear of Mystra, to be more specific. Gale: I surrendered the Crown of Karsus to her, as I told you I would. And in return, she cured me of the orb at last. Gale: Even now, I struggle to put the feeling into words. It was like exhaling for the first time, after holding my breath for so very long. Gale: Of course, I haven't clarified with my students that the orb is no longer a threat. The legend of my explosive capabilities is an excellent means of controlling a classroom. Too good, if anything.

5. he wants to teach his students that there is fun in studying magic:

Gale: I spend most of my time trying to convince them how much fun the study of magic can be, but it'd be easier to crack a smile on an intellect devourer than some of my pupils... devnote: Despairing a little, doesn't understand why they aren't all as passionate as he was Player: Or on a mind flayer, perhaps... Gale: Smiling may no longer come easy to you, but I've seen how your tentacles twitch at my jokes. Even the ones I'm not entirely certain I was trying to make... devnote: Last sentence a tiny bit self-conscious, aware that people sometimes find him ridiculous. Gale: Still, I hoped my students might be a little more open to the playful side of such magic.

anyhow, i hope this was insightful to someone! 🖤

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 patch 5 spoilers #bg3 meta #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

Text

leveling the playing field XVI

summary: you can finally go home.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.4k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do.). implications and mentions of abuse and some non-graphic violence, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there. oh, and manipulation.

a/n: i can't believe this is it :') the final part (excluding the epilogue which is coming v soon). thank you all so so so much for all the love on this fic! it means so much to me that you guys enjoyed it! but don't get too sad (like me) bc i am not ready to let them go so i'll probably do like blurbs and stuff ab this series so stick around for those!

series masterlist // playlist

"Y/N/N. Do you have your clothes from home?" Coryo asks, pulling the boat back up onto the shore. The guns were gone. He's free to go home if he wants.

"Yes." You nod. "I couldn't get rid of them if I wanted." You chuckle, looking up into the woods behind the cabin, hoping Sejanus is long gone by now.

"Okay. You're gonna stay here, just for a few days, and then I'll come get you before the train leaves. I'll take you to Two with me, just wear those. You'll fit in better."

"Okay..." You nod, nervous about being out here all alone for so long.

"I'll come bring you food as much as I can." He knew it would be a long hike each way to come see you, but he would have to carve out the time. He looks up at you quickly from digging through his own bag when he hears you sniffle. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I- uhm..." You clear your throat, fanning your eyes to keep any tears from falling. "I'm just scared." You try and laugh it off, shaking your head slightly.

"Don't be scared." Coryo shakes his head, dropping the bag to grab your shoulders. "Hey, you're gonna be okay, Darling, but we don't have another choice. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I know, I know that..." You sniff, looking up at him. "Is she dead?"

"Yes." He answers quickly. "I buried her. She can't hurt you." He promises. Was that true? No, definitely not. There was no trace of her after the shot besides her earring on the ground, but he had hit her. He was sure of it. There was no reason to tell you that, though, just to scare you more. You couldn't go back to town, there was nowhere for you to hide while peacekeepers searched every inch of the populated part of the District for days while he waited for his train.

"Okay." You whisper, taking a deep, shakey breath as you look around at the suddenly scary forested area around you. The rain had started to clear up, which helped with the sun peeking through the clouds to brighten up the lake. If Lucy Gray hadn't ruined everything, you would probably be getting ready to keep moving.

"Just, try to relax out here. Okay? Go for a swim, just enjoy the fresh air." He smiles softly, brushing some hair back out of your face as he tries to make you feel better.

"I've had enough of the woods for the rest of my life." You scoff, shaking your head under his hold.

"I know, Y/N/N, I'm sorry. It's only a few days. Like I said, I'll come back for you whenever I'm free." Even if he could only stay for five minutes before he had to turn around and make the trip back to town, he would do it. "Then we'll figure everything out. I'll handle it."

"I... I just want to go home, but I can't." You cry, letting him wipe your tears as your chest flushes with the emotion.

Coryo winces at your tears. He hates seeing you cry, and he has seen it far more times than he would have liked to in the last few months. "I'm going to figure it out. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise." He says softly, trying to get you to look at him.

You lean into his palm, closing your eyes as you try desperately to pull it together. You were exhausted, but this was the last thing Coryo needed right now. "I'm sorry. I'm just having a moment."

"I know. You're okay." He chuckles, planting a kiss on your forehead and pulling you into a hug, rocking your body gently back and forth. "You know, I think the last time you said that to me was the day I realized I was in love with you." He hums, squeezing your shoulders gently.

You laugh, which makes him smile. It's what he wanted. "I feel like that's a bit dramatic."

"No, it's true." He grins, craning his neck to look down at you. "You defended me, and you listened to me, and you looked just so pretty doing it..."

You bury your face in his shirt to hide your blush.

"You're always on my team, and I appreciate that. I really do." He explains, satisfied that he's made you feel at least a little better. "I hope you know I'm always on your side, too."

You nod slightly, smiling through your tears as you look up at him. "I know."

"Good." Coryo whispers, kissing your nose. "I love you."

"Really?" You whisper, eyes lighting up as you wring your hands together against his chest in front of you. "You're not just saying that because I'm crying on you?" You laugh slightly.

"No, I do." He nods in confirmation, grinning down at you in admiration. "There's no one else in this world I can trust as much as I can trust you."

"Then why'd you give her your scarf?" You ask, tilting your head. "It looked... valuable."

"It was. It belonged to my mother..." He says solemnly. He suddenly shakes his head, mocking your expression as he changes the tone. "You really were dead to the world, huh? I was holding it, and she just asked if she could see it. Then she didn't give it back." Coryo explains, raising an eyebrow at you. "Why, are you jealous of the dead girl?"

You roll your eyes with a smile on your face, attempting to shove him away.

"Hey, I'm kidding." He laughs, pulling you close again by your wrists. "Don't you trust me?"

"Okay, yes, I trust you." You giggle as he drops your wrists, sliding his hands over your waist.

"And you love me?" Coryo asks, urging you on.

"And I love you." You grin, nodding slightly.

"That's my girl..." He hums, running a hand lower down your side, thumb running over your midsection as he leans in to kiss you. He had you right where he wanted you, he'd wanted to say that for ages. Only since he even clued into the fact that the buzz he gets under his skin when he catches you smiling, anyway. Realistically, you were something he had always wanted. Picturing his future over the last few years when he was dragging himself out of bed every morning desperate to arrive to class on time even on an empty stomach, his daydreams of his success always included your own, as well.

Now, it was only the two of you. He was so right about you, you were perfect in every way. Smart, obedient to him and only to him, but you fought for what you wanted. You knew struggle, pressure, and soul crushing expectations in the same way he did. Through all of it, you were there for him. You were beautiful- and he was the only one smart enough to see past your occasional outbursts. No one knew how to navigate you like he did, and he was lucky that few people ever bothered to try.

The most beautiful girl in all of the Capitol, and you were his. He meant it when he said that he would never let anyone hurt you. He couldn't let anyone take you from him.

"Do you know where we're going? Where Tigris and your Grandma'am are living?" You whisper, curled up next to Coryo on the train as it pulls into the Capitol station. You're holding the orange silk scarf in your hands, using it as a small blanket in the cold train car. You had spent most of your time out by the lake trying to clean it- but dirt was a stubborn stain. You'd have to be more thorough once you had access to cleaning supplies again. You couldn't let such a lovely piece of clothing go to waste, especially when it was so valuable to him.

"I don't..." Coryo mumbles in response, staring out the window as you lean your head against his shoulder, knees tucked up to your chest. "They shouldn't be hard to find, though."

The wheels screech to a slow stop in the familiar city, and you can't help but smile at the endless sea of grey architecture. It wasn't anything like the forest in Twelve, and you loved it. The door slides open and some peacekeepers enter, drawing both of your attention as you sit up away from him.

"Dr. Gaul is expecting you both in her lab immediately." One of them informs you, and you nod a little bit, looking nervously over at your boyfriend.

You hung off his arm for the entire car ride and all the way to the lab as you're escorted by the men in the matching uniform to his own. Your clothes were dirty, despite how many times you cleaned them back in District Twelve. You had cleaned them obsessively throughout the last couple of months, but the water was never quite clear enough to be helpful. It was vile. Surely you smell unpleasant due to this, and you were hoping you would have a shower before confronting anyone from your previous life, but clearly, you weren't so lucky.

"Do I stink?" You whisper, trying to avoid the echo of the large room as your heels click across the linoleum flooring.

"Not any more than I do." Coryo answers, a small smile pulling on his lips as he glances down at you.

You giggle, gently slapping his chest as he removes his hat.

"Congratulations, Mister Snow, Miss Y/L/N. You've passed all my tests." You look up at Dr. Gaul for the first time as she speaks to you, tossing something into a pool on her floor. "I've asked President Ravenstill to grant you both a full pardon, effective immediately."

You don't say anything as you both stop in front of the tank in the ground, staring into it as Coryo revels in the shock. "I also told him that you are too promising to be wasted in the Districts. So you will be studying under me at the Capitol University."

While she speaks, you pull Tigris's coat tighter around yourself at the slimy, vicious look of whatever creatures are splashing around inside that tank that she is continuously feeding.

"We can't afford university." Coryo answers on your behalf, forcing you to look up at the woman across from you. While you were incredibly grateful, you were scared. Things were complicated back at your parents' home, and even with a legal form of forgiveness, it's not likely your father will see it the same way. You couldn't go back, and he wasn't likely to give you a dime or let you go free. Within the week, you'd probably die from an "unknown illness" contracted in the Districts if he found out you were home.

"A certain Mister Strabo Plinth has offered to pay for everything you need while you're there. All for being such good friends to his Sejanus." Dr. Gaul explains and your heart drops in your chest. You can't help but wonder if he's even still alive out there, in the North. "He doesn't know quite how good a friend you were, of course. I never mentioned your little recording. Quite impressive, Mister Snow, how you sent your only friend to the grave just to get my attention."

"That's not what I did." Coryo shakes his head at the allegation.

He squeezes your arm in warning, knowing this topic was a fine line to walk. "Are you sure? Because I think that won you the Plinth Prize, after all."

"Sejanus Plinth is not dead." You blurt out without thinking. She tilts her head at you, looking at you intensely, a knowing smile growing on her lips.

"Oh?" She asks, and internally you struggle for a saving grace while Coryo furrows his brow at you. You hadn't seen Sejanus since you sent him away, but you did try looking for him in your days out there alone. You had to believe he was alive, after you gave him his way out.

"Well, I heard that he had escaped in Twelve. As far as I know, they never found a body. He planned on running off anyway. That's likely what he did." You explain, clearing your throat.

"I agree. That is likely, but the odds he would survive out there..." She shakes her head slightly, dropping another treat into the tank as the creatures snap at it. "Anyway, the president has agreed to another year of the games! People watched, and I have you kids to thank for that."

You and Coryo wear matching grins now, posture perfect to match your collective pride.

"But before I take you under my wing, after everything you've seen out there in the real world, let me ask you one final time." Dr. Gaul says, looking pointedly between the two of you. "What are the Hunger Games for?"

You look up at your boyfriend, nodding for him to answer. "I used to think that the Hunger Games were a punishment for the districts. Then, I thought they served as a warning to us here in the capitol, about the threat the districts posed. Now I know the whole world is an arena. And we need the Hunger Games every year to remind us all who we truly are."

"And who are you, do you determine?" Coryo looks down at you as she speaks.

"We are the Victors." You finish with a proud smile, looking at the woman across from you who seems more than pleased with your answer.

"Coriolanus, what are you doing back so soon?" Your mom greets him as she opens the door of your childhood home, smiling sadly, confused as to the condition of his return.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am." He smiles politely, grey uniform cap now clutched to his chest. "I proved to be exceptional in my training. Dr. Gaul saw it was better Y/N and I work under her at the University."

"Y/N?" Your mom gasps, reaching up to cover her mouth with her hand. "She's alive?"

"I assure you, she is safe." Coriolanus nods. "Now, may I speak with your husband? I won't take up much of his time." He brushes past her, entering the home without waiting for permission.

"Well, dear, where is she?" Your mom asks, letting him pass and closing the door quickly. "Why hasn't she come home?"

"I think you know why she hasn't come here." He hums, looking around. "Where is he?"

"His study." Your mom answers quietly, gesturing up the stairs. "I'll walk you."

"No need. I know where I'm going." He gives her a small smile in return, following the familiar path toward your room.

He stops in front of your father's study, knocking before taking a step back. The force of habit leads him to stand at attention while he waits for permission to enter.

"I'm busy, don't bother me." Your father's voice echoes through the ornate lining on the door. Then he realizes, he doesn't need permission. Not anymore.

Coriolanus huffs, opening the door and stepping in.

"I said-" Your father growls, slamming his pen down on the desk before he looks up and takes in the grey of Coriolanus's decorated peacekeeper uniform. "Coriolanus."

"Sir." He nods in response, closing the door quietly behind himself. "May I sit?" He asks coldly, gesturing to the chair across from him.

"Please." Your father nods, brow furrowed as to what the blonde boy could possibly want, or what he is doing back so soon.

"Y/N isn't here, son." Your father sighs. "She-"

"I know that." Coriolanus interrupts, placing his hat on the desk between them.

"You know where she is." Your father's tone is unsurprised, but questioning.

"I do." He confirms, back straight in the chair. He had always been afraid of your father, but this was built on an admiration. He reminded him of what little he remembered about his own father. This morphed into anger slowly but surely over the last few years, picking up several hints either in your appearance, demeanor, or choice of words which painted an incredibly unflattering picture of who the man sitting in front of him truly was.

Your dad hums in response, eyes locked on the boy. "How was your summer?"

The question catches Coryo off guard, but he puts all his focus into maintaining his poise. He has the upper hand, here, and he has to keep reminding himself of that. "It was good. Certainly an eye-opening experience, the people out there are very... different."

"Then what brought you back so soon?" His neglect to even ask where you were, if you were okay, if you were even alive makes Coryo's blood boil in his veins.

"Dr. Gaul." Coriolanus states, swallowing before he continues. "She granted your daughter and I a full pardon in exchange for taking an internship under her at the university. After all, that is her dream, is it not?"

Your father's eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of your name. "It was." He agrees.

"Is." Coriolanus corrects him, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. "Strabo Plinth has offered to pay our way."

"Of course he has." Your dad chuckles, but not an ounce of humour reaches his eyes. "Self righteous bastard..."

"Seeing as you don't care about her as much as you care about your own reputation, he saw it would be a way to repay her for her loyal friendship to his son. She saved his life twice, after all." Coryo ignores your father's comment, watching as the gears turn in his head, trying to remember the second time.

"I know you think you understand my daughter, Coriolanus, but there are some parts of her you will never know. Not truly." Your father responds coolly. "So, I'm not sure what she has told you, but-"

"But nothing." Coryo cuts him off, leaning back in his seat. "Here is what is going to happen. You will have nothing to do with her, her life, her mistakes, or her decisions any longer. Since, in your own words, you see her as such a burden, I am willing to free you of that."

Your dad grits his teeth together, and it's his turn to lean forward. "Coriolanus Snow, you will not speak to me that way in my own home. Y/N is my daughter, and I shall be involved as I please and I shall do with her what I deem appropriate to consequent her actions."

"No." Coryo replies sternly, standing up abruptly, unabashed by the sound of the chair scraping across the wooden floor as he slams his fist on the desk. "She is eighteen. I take responsibility for her now, and unless you want to lose everything you and Highbottom have built, you will cut me in on every dime you make. Do you understand?"

Your dad laughs again. "And who will believe you, Coryo? You're just kids. You don't know what you're talking about. Whatever she told you is untrue. Simple as that."

"Would you like a list?" Coryo threatens. "Is that a risk you're willing to take, Y/D/N?"

He sighs, standing up to look eye to eye with him, clearly seething with the disrespectful use of his first name. "She's more trouble for you than it's worth, Son."

"That is my decision to make." Coryo says through gritted teeth.

"Suit yourself." Your dad raises his hands in defeat, careful to not show any fear. Coriolanus could see through it, though. He's won, and he knows it; it was a great deal, if your father was smart enough to see it that way. "How much do you want? Money is nothing to me."

"More than Highbottom gets." Coriolanus requests plainly, grabbing his hat and placing it back over his head. "And you'll pay for our wedding." He adds casually, pushing the discarded chair back into its place. "You'll pay for as many dresses and parties as she wants, every drink, every slice of cake, and every last flower she wishes for exactly how she wishes for it. No compromises, and no surprise appearances from you. Are. We. Clear?" He speaks clearly, intentionally enunciating every word with a trace of venom.

"Crystal." Your father scoffs, taking a drink from the whiskey glass on his desk.

Coriolanus nods, giving him a small smile. "Good. I'll be expecting the money orders every other week." He grins smugly, giving your father a quick bow before heading for the door, stopping as his hand brushes over the handle. "All due respect, Sir, which I deem to be very little, but what you have done to your daughter over all these years is what has made her into the woman you hate. Don't think I was the only one who noticed, and you would deserve every bit of harm we could do to your name. If you ever so much as speak to her again, I will kill you myself."

Coryo glances back at your father's expression only briefly before leaving. He couldn't resist the satisfying look of loathing and anger on the man's face.

The small smile sticks as he walks down the stairs, hearing the crystal glass shatter as it's thrown against the door behind him.

Finally, you were totally even.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world@nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey , @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

taglist is closed for coryo unfortunately, but my requests for him are open!! so send me all your suggestions!! requests here!!

#tbosas #tbosas fic #tbosas x reader #president snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo snow #coriolanus x you #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #thg fanfiction #thg series #thg

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heartateasee · 2 months

Text

“Epilogue”

Word Count: 19.2k (a long one, but it didn’t feel right to split it up)

(Epilogue for ‘Goodnight and Go’)

Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering (f receiving) and unprotected sex

⋆★★⋆

*Late winter - a little over three years since the wedding*

*It will be notated in the chapter when the song is meant to start. I highly encourage you to start it when it comes into play, but you can also do whatever your sweet heart desires!*

Sitting in my go to cafe, I jot down another thought into my journal as I take a sip of my black coffee. Today had been a heavy mental day, and I just needed to get out of my house to clear my head. My therapist tasked me with taking up journaling at the end of my first month of therapy - my fourth session. She asked me to start out with lists that she would give me, but then after a while she told me just to jot down whatever came to mind. Even though I wasn't actively in therapy anymore, I still held onto this - it was enough for me to not have to go to an appointment every week.

I was proud of myself for that. I've been able to use the tools given to me to be able to tend to my own mind, and to talk myself down - only having to see my therapist when absolutely necessary.

I couldn't pinpoint why today in particular had my mind so boggled though. There wasn't anything upcoming that I was stressed about that I could think of off the top of my head.

My pen continues to scratch over the page, and I feel that my eyebrows are narrowed in concentration as I let out thought after thought. I could feel the fog in my mind starting to ease with each line, but still...it didn't seem to be enough.

As much as I have gotten a good grip on myself and my emotions, there were days that I still just felt...off. Today was definitely one of them. It wasn't so much anxiousness or nervousness that I was feeling - something that I've battled with for the past two years. It was something different. It was something that I couldn't exactly put my finger on, and I think that's what caused my mind to race from the moment I opened my eyes this morning.

The cafe was bustling on this Saturday morning, and I was lucky that I was able to get my usual two seat table in the back corner. Although I can hear the baristas loud and clear from here, the rest of the noise in the cafe seems to drown due to how far back I am.

"Order for Carter!"

My pen stops, and I take a moment to blink at the page.

It can't be her.

Shaking my head, I push the thought from my mind as I chew on my bottom lip - trying to figure out how to phrase what I want to write down next.

It's not until I see a streak of red hair out of my peripheral that I finally look up.

There's no mistaking the woman smiling as she picks up her cup off the counter. She digs into her bag, and I can see that she's given the barista a postcard with an illustration of a flower on it. There's some kind of quote on the back, and by the look on the barista's face, it must be something kind, or inspirational.

Before I can even think about it, I push myself up from my seat to get a better look. My movement must have been caught out of the corner of her eye because it's barely a few seconds later that she's looking at me.

She holds her paper cup in both hands as we stare at each out from a ways across the cafe - her expression unreadable.

I hadn't seen her since the wedding. After that, she disappeared from my life completely. I had tried for months to reach her, but I never got any response. Gwen had told me she had tried to do the same. I'd only found out just in the past year that was a lie.

No one saw Carter that first Christmas after everything.

After that, the holidays were always separated due to the fact that Carter and Gwen's parents divorced only a few months after the wedding. I knew that Carter spent the holidays with her father while Gwen and I spent them with mother. Their parents hardly had any communication with each other, and I knew that their mother hadn't attempted to reach out to Carter at all - something she made very clear whenever she could.

I should've realized then what this all would become.

Carter's brown eyes look around for a moment before she starts to walk over to me, and I immediately feel my hands begin to shake.

"Harry," she says, just barely meeting my eyes now that she was closer to me. "Hi."

"Hi, Carter," my voice almost sounds strained as I speak, and I clear my throat almost immediately. "I...I didn't know you were visiting."

"Oh, no," she shakes her head. "I'm not visiting. I moved back a couple of months ago. This place has become a regular spot for me. I don't live too far from here."

I raise my eyebrows at her words, and it's then I can see she's looking past me to get a view of the table I had been sitting at - as if she were looking for someone else.

"Do you want to sit?" I ask, turning around and gesturing to the chair across from the one I had been occupying. "I'm here by myself."

Carter takes a moment before she nods. "Okay."

I pull the seat out for her, which earns me a small 'thank you', before I sit back in my own seat. Carter turns to hang her bag on the back of her chair before she's facing forward once more - both of her hands finding their way around her cup again.

Her eyes look down at my journal, and I quickly close it - pulling it from the table to slip into the green tote bag I had brought with me.

"You journal?" She asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Uh, yeah," I lift a hand to rub the back of my neck. I've never really talked to anyone but my therapist about my journaling before. "For about a year or so now."

Carter hums as she nods, pursing her lips to the side. "I do too, but I'm going on about two and a half years. I picked it up when I started therapy."

My chest aches as I can see a sheen of sadness in her eyes for a moment before it disappears. "I started it up for the same reason too."

I can tell this surprises her, and silence blankets over us for a moment.

"Are you still tattooing?" I ask - grimacing when I realize just how awkward this feels between us.

"I am," I watch as a large smile creeps onto Carter's face. "I'm actually working at the shop with Duncan again. He was nice enough to hire me back as soon as I told him I'd be moving home. He was thrilled, actually."

"Of course he was," I say, laughing a bit. "You're exceptional at what you do, Carter. Any shop would be lucky to have you."

Carter's cheeks flush due to my compliment, and I watch as she lifts her cup to her mouth. She hisses quickly as she pulls it away, and I know she's burned her tongue.

"Here," I reach forward without hesitation to take the cup from her.

Her eyes are trained on my every move as I pull the lid off the cup, setting it down on a napkin on the table. This was something I did for her quite often when we were in college. There was a bookstore/coffee shop that we frequented a few days a week, and Carter was never one to be patient and wait for her drink to cool properly. I started doing this as a quick solution without her even asking. It just became a habit for me.

I can tell her eyes are on my left hand, and then she looks up at me. "You...you're not..."

"I'm not...what?"

Carter looks back at my hand before looking at my face again. "You're not wearing your ring."

My eyebrows knit together as I look at her. "Carter," I start, and I can tell she's genuinely curious as to why that particular piece of jewelry is missing. "Gwen and I are divorced."

Her eyes widen for a moment, and I watch as the color leaves her face. "O-Oh....oh," she says, straightening up in her chair as she drops her hands to her lap. I can tell she's running her palms over her thighs as she shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Harry, I-I didn't-"

"You didn't know?"

Carter shakes her head again, and I can see with the way her chest is moving that she's trying to take deep breaths.

"Hey," I whisper, leaning forward to take one of her hands in mine from underneath the table - thankful that this table wasn't too big so I was able to reach across to her easily. "It's okay. It actually doesn't surprise me that you wouldn't know."

I run my thumb along her knuckles, and I can tell it's starting to soothe her as she finally looks up from the table to make eye contact with me.

"My dad had said that Gwen moved away, but I figured that meant you did too. That's why I was a bit shocked to see you here," she says, and I can tell she's trying to put it all together. "I don't think he even knows you guys have separated. My mom had only told him about the move."

I can't help but roll my eyes at that. Another thing that didn't shock me. Their mother didn't want their father, or Carter, to know about the divorce. She didn't want Gwen to look like she failed at something.

"She did move," I give Carter's hand one more squeeze before sitting back in my chair - our touch separating. "About five months ago. We've been separated for almost a year and a half. She left a few months after the divorce was completely finalized."

Carter's face shows that she's completely dumbfounded by this information, but she's trying to keep it together. "That's...that's why I moved back, you know? Because I thought you both were gone."

Her words sting, but I can't hold them against her. We wronged her, Gwen and I both, and I don't ever expect her to forgive me for the way that I treated her while I was with Gwen. I know that if anyone had treated me the way I did her, I'd never speak to them again.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by asking you to sit with me. I didn't know you thought I was gone too," I tell her, and now I'm the one gripping my thighs. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I more than understand if I'm the last person you ever wish to talk to."

Looking down at my lap, I pick at my cuticles as I wait to hear her chair slide across the floor. But I don't.

I look up to see Carter still looking at me, and she shakes her head. "I chose to sit here, Harry. I'm okay, I promise."

I give her a small nod, but I immediately look back down at my lap.

A few seconds pass before I hear her clear her throat. "I like your hair. I never thought I'd see you with it so short."

I can't help but smile at her words, and I look at her once more. "Yeah? It's not weird without the curls?"

"I mean...it's a little weird," Carter smirks, and I know she's trying to help our playful banter come out again. "But they look like they're on the verge of growing back. I'm enjoying this little faux hawk thing you have going on though."

She lifts her drink to her lips and takes a sip - not flinching away from the liquid this time, so I know it's cooled down properly for her.

"It feels nice," I shrug. "Healthy and all. I buzzed it completely when the divorce was finalized. It was therapeutic, honestly."

"Oh? I wish I could've seen it buzzed," she giggles, pursing her lips to the side before speaking again. "I get the whole changing your hair thing though. I went brunette a few months after I left."

"Did you really?"

"Yeah, let me see. I'm sure I still have some pictures on my phone," she says before digging into her bag.

She swipes on her screen for a while before turning her phone to face me. "See?"

Even though I know it's Carter in this picture, it's not my Carter. She's smiling for the camera, but there's a dimness behind her eyes that I've never seen from her. She was unhappy - that much was clear.

"Oh, wow," I say, giving her a half grin so as to not disappoint her. "It definitely suited you, but I have to be biased when it comes to the red. It's just you."

"Yeah, I like the red too - I like being natural and all that."

She drops her phone back into her purse before I go to speak again.

"So, did you move back by yourself or..."

"Yeah, just me, and my little black cat, Ichabod," I can see her face light up as she mentions her cat, and it causes a warmth in my chest. "I had been seeing this guy for a little over a year, and I broke up with him about...half a year ago now? It just wasn't working out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I tell her genuinely. "He wasn't bad to you, was he?"

"Oh, no," Carter shakes her head adamantly. "Not at all. He was actually very sweet, but I realized that even though I loved him, I wasn't in love with him anymore. So, I broke it off almost immediately after realizing that. I didn't want to string him along when I wasn't going to be one hundred percent in the relationship."

"And why do you think you weren't?" I ask, and I watch as Carter starts to play with the cardboard sleeve around her cup. "Why do you think you weren't one hundred percent in the relationship?"

Her eyes peer up at me underneath her lashes, but her face is still tilted slightly towards the table. "I think you and I both know why, Harry."

My stomach flutters when I realize what she's alluding to, but I don't want to press that conversation any further. Not here, and not after just seeing her again for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't end up working out. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

"What makes you think that just because that ended that I'm unhappy? I'm actually the happiest I've been in a while since moving back," she tells me, but there's no aggression to her tone as she continues her explanation. "I've just been letting life take me where it wants for the most part, and yeah I get lonely sometimes, but it's okay. The quiet doesn't bother me anymore like it used to."

The confidence that I can see in her now is admirable. She's so sure of herself, and I can tell she means what she says.

Carter is happy.

"Can I ask what it was that you handed the barista earlier?" I have a feeling that whatever that was plays into this newfound self that I can see she has.

"Oh, those are just little postcards I make for fun. I do them in series, I guess? Like right now they're all different flowers, and the quotes on the back have to do with either growth, or rebirth," she explains, leaning forward onto the table a bit. "I keep them in my bag, and I hand them out to people who I feel need them, or someone who's shown me kindness that day. It's nice to see their reactions."

Carter has always had a big heart, and it makes me ecstatic to see that hasn't changed despite what those closest to her have put her through.

As happy as it makes me to see her own growth, there's also a part of me that's sad that I missed it. But the guilt is what chews at me the most. The guilt of just letting her slip through my fingers like I did.

"Oh, shit, what's the time?" I hear Carter ask before she pulls out her phone again. "I need to be at the shop in ten minutes. I'm sorry, I've gotta go."

"That's okay, I was just finishing up too. Let me walk you out?" I ask, and she looks over to me after stopping her slightly frantic movements.

"Sure, yeah."

She puts the lid on her drink as I stand and put the strap of my tote over my shoulder, and soon we're both heading towards the entrance of the cafe. I hold the door open for her as we step outside, and we move over onto the sidewalk so that we're not blocking the door as we stop.

"It was really good seeing you, Carter," I tell her honestly. "And I know it might be too much of me to ask, and you can absolutely say no, but do you think we could meet up again sometime?"

Carter chews on her bottom lip as she contemplates my request before she nods. "Yeah, I think that would be okay. I think I'd like that."

I can tell I have the stupidest smile on my face when I hear her agree. "Okay, yeah, uhm, let me just get my phone out for you to put your new-"

"I have the same number," she interrupts me, and I could tell she was a bit hesitant to say that considering she never once responded to me when I tried to reach out. "And I still have your number too."

I don't say anything in response to that because I understand why she did what she did. I give her a nod, slipping my phone back into my pocket.

"Okay, well, I'll text you so we can plan something, alright?"

"That sounds good."

We stand there for a moment, and I can tell neither of us really know how to end the conversation.

"Did you ever get your heart tattoo?" Carter blurts out, and I can see it was something she had been itching to ask me this whole time.

I laugh softly. "You remember that?"

She nods while giving me a small shrug. "It just stuck with me."

"I haven't, no," I say. "I actually haven't gotten anything since before...everything."

"You mean like before the wedding?"

"Yeah," I sigh, running the tip of my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip. "Didn't really have the motivation or inspiration to get anything new."

Carter stares at me for a moment before speaking again. "Well, if you want to still get it done, I'd be more than happy to do it for you. Just text me when you're free, and I'll see if it lines up with what I have booked right now."

"Wait, are you serious?" I ask. I'm taken completely by surprise that she would offer to do this so quickly after just seeing each other again.

"Well, you told me you wanted me to be the one to do it, right?" She asks playfully as she bumps her shoulder against mine. "I'm not letting anyone else tattoo that on you."

"I guess when you put it that way," I say as if she's twisting my arm, which causes her to let out a noise of disappointment - having her now shove my arm. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I wouldn't want anyone else doing it for me either."

Carter looks up at me with a beaming smile, and for a moment I'm transported right back - as if things never changed. "Then it's settled. Just text me."

"I will."

She begins to walk away from me before she stops. "Oh, here!"

Walking back over, she digs in her bag and flips through something for a moment before she's extending one of her postcards out to me. "I think this one belongs to you."

I look down at it for a moment, and by the time I look back up, I can already see her back towards me in the distance. Shaking my head at her with a smile of my own, I look back down at the postcard to really study it.

On the front was just a plain line work illustration of a daffodil. I flip it over on the back, and I see this one in particular has two quotes. I read each of them over once, but then I find myself reading them again, and again once I process what they really mean.

"The people who are meant to be will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander." - UNKNOWN

•

"Souls tend to go back to who feels like home." - N.R. HART

⋆★★⋆

It's been a couple of weeks since I saw Carter at the coffee shop, but we had been texting almost every day. I didn't seem too eager, so I didn't text her about booking the tattoo until later that evening, and he she was able to fit me in today. Neither of us made any moves to ask about hanging out outside of my tattoo appointment, but I wanted to so badly.

When I got back to my place after running into her that afternoon, I immediately got on my computer and searched what a daffodil symbolizes. I was met with the answer that it meant 'rebirth and new beginnings' among a few other things, but those stuck out to me the most. She was sending me a signal that maybe we could build this again.

I knew that things were going to be different, it was almost impossible for things to go back to the way they were back then, but I desperately craved to be in Carter's presence again.

Her quote that she handed to me was right. She felt like home.

That was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a while - not even when I spent my first Christmas back in Holmes Chapel this past December. It felt weird going back there by myself, but I did find comfort in being back with my mother, especially since the divorce was still pretty fresh. I ended up staying with my parents for a little over a month. I had never been more thankful for my job allowing me to work from home more than during that time.

I didn't realize just how much time I needed away from everything until then. It gave me a chance to help clear my head, and I still met with my therapist over Zoom so that I kept up with my sessions. It wasn't until I got back that I made her aware that I thought I was doing okay on my own, and that I wanted to see her on a per needed basis going forward. She agreed that she thought that was appropriate, and I've only had to see her once since then.

The need to see her came after Gwen was back in town visiting her mother. She told me that after she moved she realized she had taken some stuff of mine, and she wanted to give it back. I had tried to convince her just to leave it on her mother's porch whenever she left, and that I'd come by and grab it once I knew she was gone, but she refused. I was tempted to tell her just to forget it, that I didn't want any of it back, and that was the truth until she rattled off what the box included. It wasn't until she said there was a spiral bound notebook with a tattered red cover that I knew I needed to get that box back.

That notebook was one that Carter and I used to write notes back and forth to each other in during the class where we first met.

It was obvious that Gwen hadn't gone through it. If she had, there was no way she would've wanted to give me something so sentimental back - especially since it included a piece of Carter. When I went over there to get the box from her, she was immediately in my ear the whole time. She was asking if I thought I had made the right decision divorcing her, and if I was happy with myself. She asked if I had found someone new - asked if they felt as good as she did it.

But it wasn't until she brought up Carter that I snapped.

"I swear to god, if you're with my 'pick me' of a little sister, then you're just pathetic," she had said, and that caused me to stop right where I was. I had been trying to get back to my car so I could pack the box up and leave.

"I think you're a bit mistaken, Gwen," I told her as I looked over my shoulder to see her standing there with her hands on her hips. "You've always been the 'pick me' out of the two of you. I thought by now you maybe would've looked in a mirror and seen that you're the problem - not just with me, but with everyone. All I can say is that I'm lucky I can see it now, and I'm glad I got out of our marriage when I did."

That left her completely dumbfounded, and she didn't utter another word as I got into my car and left. I'm hoping that's the last time I'll ever have to see Gwen.

Regardless of how I defended myself and Carter against her, I was still shaken up by the encounter. My therapist was thankfully able to work me in that same day for a visit. She didn't respond much to me - it was more so of a vent session for me anyway. At the end of that session, she told me that I should be proud of finding it within myself to not only see Gwen, but to also stand up to her. That was something I hadn't been able to do at all in my last year with Gwen.

The first six months of marriage was wonderful, but the remaining year was horrific. I had dealt with Gwen coming home and screaming at me almost every day due to stress from her work. It wasn't until things got physical that I knew I had to leave.

At first it was a slap, and she apologized profusely for it - telling me she would never mean to hurt me, and she couldn't explain why she did it. I let it slide because I knew how much pressure she was under. The next time she hit me it was her closed fist connecting harshly with my chest. The final time, she had attempted to throw a vase at my head. She was lucky I was able to move out of the way quickly, and I avoided it.

I left that night, packing up what I absolutely needed, and I told her that I would be back to get the rest of my things. It took me about a week to get everything out, except for that one box of stuff apparently, and I made sure that I checked our Ring camera for movement before going over so I could see if she was at work. I didn't want to see her anymore at all. The thought of being in her presence made my skin crawl.

The whole thing made me wonder if the physical part of her anger was only just towards me, or if she had ever gotten physical like that with Carter. It broke me to think that Carter could've been on the receiving end of her wrath in that way, and I prayed that I was wrong in thinking that it maybe had happened in the past.

I let Gwen keep the house because I didn't want it. I didn't want the awful memories those walls held, and I knew that with the divorce I'd end up getting some money back for it considering we bought it together. Once I got the money from everything, I ended up getting a house of my own. Thankfully Gwen told the courts the divorce was amicable even though she really didn't want it, and the only reason why she agreed to that was because I agreed to not bring up her abuse if she did so.

I just wanted it all to be over. I wanted to start fresh, and I needed to be rid of her.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I realize I'm close to the tattoo shop, and I do my best to force the negativity out of my mind. Today was going to be a positive experience. I also think that today is going to set the tone of where things go from here with Carter. I'm hoping the outcome is us trying to rebuild our friendship, but I would be more than understanding if Carter didn't wish to get close with me again in that capacity. She had every right to deny me.

I parallel park on the street right out front of the shop, just across the street, and hop out. Once I'm inside, I'm immediately drawn to her red hair as she stands at her station. I can see that she's applying some second skin to the forearm of the girl sitting on her table.

"Harry, right?" I hear my name being called, and I look over to see Duncan.

"Yeah, that's right," I give him a small nod while sending him a smile. "It's been a while, Duncan. How are you?"

"I've been good, man, really good," Duncan says as he leans against the check-out counter, arms crossed over his chest. "Business has been great, and I just moved into a new house with my wife and little girl. No complaints. How about you? Carter mentioned that you would be coming in."

I can't help but laugh a bit when I try to think of how to answer Duncan's question. I've never been one to dump my feelings on people when they casually ask how you're doing. "I'm getting better," I tell him honestly. "Had some things happen over the past couple of years, but I'm definitely finding myself again."

Duncan doesn't get a chance to respond as Carter starts walking her client up to the counter. "Hi, Harry," she says, her smile growing the closer she gets to me. "I'll be just another minute or so."

"Take your time," I tell her, shoving my hands into my front pockets.

"You can go ahead and wait by my station if you'd like. I'll just need to get everything sanitized once I'm back over there, then we can start," she tells me, and I give her a nod before following her instructions.

I sit down on one of the stools she had over there as I wait for Carter, but I find it hard to keep my eyes off of her from across the shop. It's clear to see that she's definitely gotten more sure of herself over these past few years. She holds a smile the whole time she checks the client out, and I can see this newfound charisma that I caught at the cafe the other day just seeping out of her.

Once she finishes up, she heads back over to me, and I witness a softness pooling in her eyes as she stands next to me. "How are you?"

I stand up from the stool, and out of habit I go to wrap my arms around her. Carter's eyes widen slightly, but she doesn't stop me, if anything, she's quick to reciprocate. Her cheek rests against my chest, and I feel her let out a large exhale as her fingers curl into the loose jumper I was wearing.

"I'm good," I speak, finally replying to her question - moving around so my own cheek is now lying on the top of her head. "How about you?"

I feel Carter nod against me for a moment before we separate. "I'm good as well."

She moves away from me to slip on a pair of gloves, and she begins to wipe her table down completely. Once done, she motions for me to sit there, and she starts to get her station ready.

"Are you nervous?" She peeks at me over her shoulder with a smirk before looking back to her task at hand.

"A little bit, actually," I chuckle, running my hands over the tops of my thighs. "It's been a while, and I think I remember how it feels, but I'm questioning if I really do or not."

"Oh god," Carter gasps as she turns around completely, tugging on my jumper to signal it's time to take it off. "You're not going to pass out on me, are you?"

I can tell she's still being playful with me, and I shake my head. "I think we're good unless I somehow randomly see someone getting their tongue pierced."

Carter tilts her head back with a large laugh, clapping her hands together as I pull my jumper over my head. I'm wearing a black tank top underneath to make it easier for her to access the inside of my bicep. "I'll make sure to have Duncan tell me if someone comes in for one of those so we can make sure you don't get up to go to the bathroom and pass the piercing room at that time."

I roll my eyes at her while she pulls her hair into a bun on the top of her head as I hang my jumper on the small coat rack she has in the corner.

As I walk back over, I see that Carter is slipping the drawing she's made of the heart I wanted out of the front of her binder. The front of her binder is usually reserved for fun little sketches of hers, much like the ones I first noticed when we were in college. I look at the side of her face as I watch her, knowing she usually keeps her stencils in one of the clear sleeves she had inside.

"Did you just finish that up last night? Is that why it's in the front?" I ask, gesturing to the drawing as I sit down on the side of the table.

Carter glances at me out of the corner of her eye as she shakes her head. "Uh no...I've had this done for a while," she says, and she quickly clears her throat. "I just need to get it all prepared, I'll be right back."

My eyes watch her as she goes, but she returns quickly with another fresh pair of gloves on, and the stencil of the heart in her hand. "You said you wanted this on the inside of your bicep, right?"

I nod as I lay back on the table, and I extend my arm out for her. Carter sits down on her stool, rolling over to me before holding the edges of the stencil between the pads of her thumb and index finger on each of her hands. Tilting her head to the side, she tries different positions before it, and I see her eyes light up when she gets it right. She lays the stencil down - smoothing it over to make sure it all gets on my skin.

"Have a look," she says as she pulls it off, and I stand from the table one more to take a look at it in the full length mirror.

I move my arm in all different directions to make sure none of them make it look funny before I nod. "That's perfect, Carter. It looks great."

Once I lay back down on the table, she grabs her gun and scoots as close as possible to me. "You ready?

"Yep," I sigh, looking at the ceiling as I hear the buzzing start.

It's only a few seconds later that I feel that familiar scratch across my skin, and I grimace slightly from how long it's been since I've felt it. I take in a deep breath as I can tell she's trying to warm me up a little bit before she really gets started.

"Doing okay?" Carter checks in on me, giving my upper bicep a reassuring squeeze as she dips back into the ink for a moment.

"Yeah, feels like I remember," I say, earning a small giggle from her.

"Well, that's good then, yeah?"

I nod as she starts up again, and it's silent between the two of us for a while before Carter speaks.

"I've had the heart finished since before...everything," she whispers, and I move my head to the side so I can look at her properly. Her eyes stay focused on her work, but she flicks them up to meet mine for just a moment. "I was going to show you the drawing that night, sort of as a surprise present, I guess."

It's as if I almost feel my heart actually crack in my chest at her confession. I couldn't believe that she had finished it up back then, but I also couldn't believe that she had held onto it for this long. Part of that gives me hope that she was just waiting for the opportunity for us to reconnect at some point, like we have now.

I had thought about her so much since the last time I saw her, but she had grown even heavier on my mind since I started therapy. My therapist really helped me work through my feelings, and the more I worked through them, the more I realized just how much I had fucked up with Carter. I've beaten myself up time, and time again while looking back on how I treated her, and how I allowed her to be treated.

The image of her standing in that groom's suite, begging me to reconsider my marriage is forever engraved in my mind. Her body trembling with her arms wrapped around herself, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cowered away from me. I thought that night I found her outside at the formal was going to be the worst I'd ever seen her, and the fact that I was the cause of an even worse reaction than that...I'll never be able to forgive myself. My therapist has told me time and time again that I needed to find it within me to do so, but I don't see how it's possible.

"And I'd really like to talk everything over at some point," Carter speaks up again, but now she keeps her sight down, and off my face. "But for now, I think it would be nice to just get to know each other again, if that's something you're okay with. Once we feel like we're in a comfortable place, then I'd like for us to be able to put it all out on the table. I have a lot I feel like I need to say, and a lot I need to ask."

"I think I'd really like that too, Carter," I agree, reaching my hand out when she stops tattooing me for a moment. I wrap my palm around her forearm, rubbing my thumb against her smooth skin. "You don't know how nervous I've been these past couple of weeks. I was just holding onto hope that you would give me another chance."

"I still have a lot of hurt feelings," she explains as I drop my hand to allow her to start up her work again. "But I also didn't handle things in the right way. I was hoping that seeing each other would open up that opportunity for us to reconnect."

Looking up at me again for just a second, we give each other soft smiles.

It's a couple hours later that Carter finishes up my tattoo completely. My bicep now felt like a bunch of pins and needles, but I didn't want to have to come back for another session. I've always been one to complete my tattoos in one session, if possible. Carter had already let me look at the tattoo, and put the second skin on it before I walked over to the coat rack to grab my jumper.

"Here, let me help you," I hear her say after she disposes of her gloves. "Go ahead and put your arms in, and I'll help pull it down."

I do as she asks, keeping my arms above her head, and only starting to lower them down as I feel her pulling the hem of my jumper down as well. Once it was on properly, she gave me a nod. "I'm going to just clean up really quick since you were my last one of the day, and then I'll meet you at the counter, okay?"

I head over to the lobby section of the shop and sit down on one of the couches, beginning to scroll through my phone as I wait for her. I can hear her holding conversations with a couple of people around the shop over the next few minutes, and finally I hear her calling my name.

Walking over to the counter, she tells me my total, and my eyebrows narrow. "Carter, you know that's not right," I tell her with a small laugh.

"Friends and family discount," she shrugs, giving me a smug smile.

I roll my eyes, but I allow her to charge me what she wants - handing my card over. Once everything was settled, we head out of the shop, and I point to my car that's parked across the street. "That's me."

"That's me," she mimics, pointing to her car that was just a little ways down on the same side of the street.

"I'll walk you."

Carter nods, and I rest my hand against the small of her back to keep her on the inner part of the sidewalk as we make our way towards her car. Once there, she turns to face me, a tender look on her face.

"It was nice getting to tattoo you again," her voice is warm as she speaks, and I feel my stomach fluttering with how sincere she sounds. "I haven't tattooed a friend since Kieran, and that was a couple of years ago, so this was wonderful."

"Well, I'm glad it was you that could give me another tattoo after so long," I tell her, reaching out to rub my hand up and down her arm for a moment before dropping it.

"I'll text you, and maybe we can plan on meeting up to do something sometime next week? The weather is getting warmer, so I was hoping to spend some more time outside."

"Yeah, that sounds great. We can definitely figure something out," I respond, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Before I go, I wanted to give you this," Carter says before digging into her bag, much like she did before she walked away from me at the cafe. "Wait to read it until you're in your car but...I think this explains what I felt all those years ago a little better than I did back then, and how I've felt going forward."

Looking down at the postcard, I see that there's now a line illustration of a nightingale instead of a daffodil. "This drawing is beautiful, Carter."

"Thank you," she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry to dart off so quickly, but I promised my dad I'd come over and make us some dinner tonight."

"Don't apologize, we practically spent the afternoon together."

We step forward to wrap ourselves in another embrace - all while being mindful of my fresh tattoo.

"You smell the same," I hear Carter whisper after a moment, and I look down to see her snuggling her nose into my chest. "I've missed it."

Swallowing harshly, I force away the tears that want to spring in my eyes. "You smell the same too. I've missed it...missed you so, so much."

I take a chance, and I press my lips against the crown of her head. I feel Carter's cheeks round out against my torso before she's looking up at me with a wide smile. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

We separate, and I stand on the sidewalk to make sure she takes off safely. She waves at me through her window as she drives off, and I make my way over to my car. I'm immediately pulling up google on my phone to look up the symbolism of a nightingale, and the tears I had just wished away come crawling back.

"Found in Persian culture, through poetry and music, the nightingale has been celebrated as a symbol of unrequited love."

I press my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I look out my window, feeling moisture beginning to wet my face. My hand shakes as I continue to hold the postcard, but I can't look back down at it. I'm scared of what the other side, the quote, will bring.

I give myself a moment or two, sniffling softly before I look down - flipping the card over.

"No matter how much you wish you could, you cannot control how another person feels and loves.

Just because someone fails to see your worth, it doesn't make them a bad person, and it doesn't mean you are unlovable. It simply means that they aren't meant for you.

You should never have to spend your days and nights wondering if you are good enough for somebody. You are enough. You are more than enough for the right person.

Always remember that your happiness comes first. Focus on loving yourself, really loving yourself and you will see your value and find the strength to walk away from unrequited love.

Weeks, months, years will pass and you'll look back and wonder why on earth it took you so long to see that all along you deserved everything you always wished you had.

- CHARLOTTE FREEMAN"

⋆★★⋆

It's a Saturday night, and I've been sitting outside of Carter's house for the past fifteen minutes - just staring down at the bundle of daffodils in my hand. My mind is going a mile a minute, and I know I have to calm myself down before I go up and knock on her door. I got here early for this specific reason. I knew that I would probably work myself up, and sure enough, I have.

This was the first time either of us had agreed to meet at one of our houses. Over the past three and a half months, we've been seeing each other only in public spaces.

I was more than okay with us only meeting out in public. We both made the decision to take things slow as we rebuild our relationship with each other, and we both know that this relationship will more than likely be similar to our previous one, but there's no way it could ever be the same.

I think the scariest thing for me was that I found myself falling back in love with Carter easily.

Through therapy I realized that I never really stopped loving her in that way, I had just suppressed my feelings because I thought she didn't feel the same.

Going to therapy made me remember a lot of things I had pushed to the back of my mind when it came to the transition of my feelings for Carter into my feelings for Gwen. I had forgotten about how anytime Carter was out of the house, Gwen was telling me that she was out with a boy. I thought that Carter was hiding a relationship from me, and subconsciously, that's why I hid my relationship with Gwen. It wasn't until years later that I found out that Gwen had been feeding me lies.

Bottom line - Gwen manipulated me our entire relationship.

I know I'm not completely innocent, and that her manipulation isn't a complete excuse for the way that I acted, but it made me realize just how much she lied to me. She did anything she could to keep her hooks in me until she knew she had me fully secured, and then it was already too late with Carter. I had already separated myself from her to keep myself from getting hurt even further, and I had already started to fall in love with Gwen.

I know that I loved Gwen at one point. I know that I was still in love with her even when she hit me, but I know I fell right out of love with her the night she could've caused me irreparable damage.

Fuck, I didn't need to be thinking about all of this right now.

Tucking my chin to my chest, I suck in a deep breath as I lift my hand to pinch at the bridge of my nose. Reminiscing on the past in this very moment wasn't helping me calm down.

Instead I try to focus on the positive. Carter somehow found it in her heart to give me a second chance, and our reconnecting felt different to than I had anticipated. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she felt the same way too. We exchange small intimate touches every now and then, but that's as far as it's gone. I've also noticed that we're a lot more flirty with each other than we used to be. It's almost as if we were a couple that had separated, and now we're trying to figure out if time apart could make it work again. It didn't feel like we were necessarily rebuilding just a friendship.

It wasn't until this past Tuesday when we were sitting on a bench in the park that I asked her to dinner.

Carter had been talking about getting a corn-dog from this street cart for a few days, and I finally suggested to her that we just go and get them together. She was more than ecstatic when I told her that I wanted to go too. She got a regular corn-dog, and I got one with a plant-based hotdog inside. While we sat on the bench, her legs were draped over my lap as she leaned against the arm rest, ankles crossed one over the other.

Her heart shaped sunglasses were perched on her nose as I traced my fingertips up down one of her legs as we ate.

"I'm so happy right now," she said, using her hand to cover her mouth full of food as she spoke - as if she couldn't wait to tell me. "Thank you for coming with me, Harry. We picked such a good day too. It's beautiful out."

I swallowed the bite I was chewing before responding to her. "Of course I was going to come with you. I had to see the look on your face once you finally got your corndog."

The giggle that left her warmed my heart as her nose scrunched up, and I gave her thigh a squeeze. Humming, she let her free hand travel down to wrap around my fingers, and we remained like that for the rest of the time that we ate.

We stayed at the park for about an hour total, and it wasn't until we were about to get up and leave that I finally grew the balls to ask her what I had been wanting to ask her for a few weeks at that point.

That's when I asked her about grabbing dinner together, something we hadn't done yet.

"Yeah, of course we can grab dinner sometime. That would be fun!"

I remember my palms immediately going clammy, and Carter could instantly tell that something was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her palm found my back, and she began to move in circles.

"Well...I just-" I stumbled over my words like an idiot, finally clearing my throat when I felt like I had myself somewhat together. "How would you feel about considering it a date?"

Even though Carter had her sunglasses on, the lenses were pretty transparent, and I watched as her eyes went wide - her pink lips parting in surprise. I immediately had to look away from her, and I looked down at my hands as I nervously rubbed them together.

"Sorry...I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes tight as if that was going to just make what I had asked disappear. "Forget it. We don't have to. I just ruined this whole fucking thing."

It was a few seconds later that I felt Carter's hand leave my back, and soon her palm was cradling one of my cheeks. She turned my face so I was looking at her - causing me to reluctantly open my eyes.

"It can be a date, Harry," she told me, and I instantly felt a knot form in my stomach. It wasn't out of anxiousness though, it was out of excitement. "I'm a little nervous given the past, but I'd like for it to be a date too."

When we separated that day, she let me give her a kiss on the cheek, and it made me tingle all over when I saw her face flush.

We haven't really spoken about our feelings at all, and we haven't discussed any expectations of each other either. I have a feeling that both of those things are bound to come up tonight. That's probably another reason why I'm so incredibly nervous.

My eyes glance over at the clock, and I see that it's now the time that I told her I would pick her up.

I suck in a deep breath as I get out of the car, my hands shaking as I keep a grip on the daffodils, and I head up to her door. Lifting my finger, I ring her doorbell before taking a small step back so that I'm not crowding her immediately.

The door opens after a moment, and once Carter's eyes connect with mine, a large smile takes over her features. "Hi, H," she says. She looks me over for a moment before looking back at my face. "You look so handsome."

It's as if my breath was sucked from my lungs when she opened that door. The dress she has on fits her perfectly, and she has her hair slightly curled so that it bounces a bit as she moves. I couldn't help but internally laugh out in adoration when I saw she had all black Vans old skools platforms on her feet.

Some things never change.

"Wow, Carter," I breathe, shaking my head. "You look gorgeous."

Carter's face flushes just like it did the other day. "I'm in protest against heels at the moment, so I hope Vans are okay," she says before her eyes drop to the flowers in my hand.

"Oh!" I exclaim with a chuckle, extending them out to her. "These are for you. I was trying to figure out what flowers to get, but these seemed rather fitting."

"Hmm," she hums, giving me a playful grin. "I wonder why."

She peeks over her shoulder for a moment before looking back to me. "I'm just going to put these in some water and then we can go. I'd invite you in, but I know Ichabod's hair is going to cling to you if you come inside and he rubs on you."

"That's alright, take your time," I tell her with a nod.

She shuts the door, and it's only a minute or so later that she's stepping back out. A thin black cardigan is now on her arms, and she has a purse draped over her shoulder. She locks up her door before facing me. "Ready?"

"Ready," I say, placing my hand on her lower back as we make our way to my car.

I open the passenger door for her, which she thanks me for, and I make sure she's in securely before I shut her in. My hands continue to shake as I head over to the driver's side, and I get in before starting the car up.

I can see Carter looking over at me out of the corner of my eye, and she almost instantly reaches out to take one of my hands off the wheel.

"Why are you shaking so bad?" She holds my one hand in both of hers - lazily intertwining one set of her fingers with mine while the fingertips on the other trace over the back of my hand. "We don't have to go anymore if it's going to make you so nervous, Harry. I don't want you to be-"

"No," I shake my head quickly, squeezing my fingers around hers. "I mean, yes, I'm nervous, but I don't want to not do this because of that. I've just...I'm really bad about getting in my head these days, and I just overthink things. I've been overthinking all day."

Carter frowns, and she brings my hand up - pressing her lips against my knuckles. "If it helps at all, I'm really glad that we're doing this. I've been looking forward to it since you asked on Tuesday."

"Yeah?" I ask, feeling her confession ease my nerves some.

"Yeah," she nods, biting down on her bottom lip.

"I can never thank you enough for agreeing."

Carter's eyes wander over my face for a moment before settling back on my own. "I told you...I've missed you. It's been long enough that I'm okay to let myself be open with you again, and I'm sure we'll touch on that more later, but I just know I'm ready for this. Whatever this ends up being after we talk everything out. Okay?"

"Okay," I bring her hand up to my mouth just like she did to me earlier - mimicking her same actions.

I let my lips rest against her skin a little longer than she did mine before I lower our hands back down. I go to pull my hand away so that I can place both hands on the wheel, but Carter tightens her grip. "Can I keep holding it?"

My heart palpitates in the best way at her question, and I feel warmth in my face. "Yeah, of course."

"Okay, good," she giggles before dropping my hand into her lap.

I bite back a larger smile as I put my car in drive, and I start heading towards the restaurant where I had made us reservations for tonight.

Music plays quietly in the car as we make our way down the road, and Carter and I keep stealing glances at each other as we do so. Eventually she moves her other hand down to completely encompass the one she had already been holding once again, alternating between smoothing her fingertips over my knuckles, and then the back of my hand.

I haven't had contact like this from someone in so long, and it feels nice. The tenderness of her touches makes me feel wanted and comforted all at the same time - two feelings that Carter used to bring me previously before everything went to shit.

Our conversation on the way there was light, just asking how our work week went, and she was telling me about a large back piece she had just finished up on a client.

Once we arrive at the restaurant, I open the passenger side of the car for Carter. Instead of letting me just place my hand on her back, she takes my hand in hers - lacing our fingers together. I stroke my thumb along the back of her hand as we head inside, and I can see that Carter is a bit shocked at the place I've picked out.

"Harry," she says, looking up at me with worry. "This place is so nice, and I'm wearing Vans. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you wanted to wear Vans," I respond, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides, they look cute on you, and if they want to say something about them, then I don't want to give them my business anyway."

Carter shakes her head briskly at me as we approach the host stand. "Two for Styles."

The host nods and grabs a couple of menus before we're guided to our table. I smile when I see they've remembered to set it up the way I wanted, with two candles lit in the middle, and two glasses of red wine already poured.

I can hear Carter gasp behind me, but she doesn't say anything yet as I pull her chair out for her to sit.

The host places the menus down as I sit as well, and I thank them before they walk away. I keep my eyes down on the menu that was placed in front of me, but I can feel Carter's on me.

"Harry," she speaks up after a moment, sweetness laced throughout her tone. "Did you have them do this for us?"

I nibble on my bottom lip before nodding. "Yeah, I did. I just wanted tonight to be special. For you...for us."

Carter reaches out across the table, curling her hand around mine. "Thank you so much. This was a nice surprise, and this restaurant is beautiful."

She gives my hand a squeeze before pulling away, and we begin to properly look over our menus.

"What are you thinking?" Carter asks, and I tilt my head to the side.

"I'm eying the pasta pescatore, how about you?"

"I think I'll do the lobster and mushroom risotto," I look up as she twirls a curl around her finger - lips pursed to the side.

I'm completely captivated by the way the candlelight hits her face, capturing her beauty in a way that has my stomach swirling.

After a moment, a waiter comes over with a couple of waters to accompany our wine, and he asks if we're ready to order.

"You first," I say, gesturing my hand towards, and Carter smiles.

We each order our food, and the waiter heads off as we grab our glasses of wine. I clear my throat, my other hand gripping to my knee as Carter's round eyes stare at me.

"This might seem silly, but I just wanted to say a couple of things," I chuckle nervously.

Carter gives me a reassuring nod before sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.

"First off, I want to thank you again for saying 'yes' to dinner, and especially having it be a date. I'm really trying to be more straightforward with my feelings in general, but especially when it comes to you now that we've reconnected," I start off, my fingers curling tighter to my glass as I feel I could drop it at any moment. "I also wanted you to know that these past few weeks of getting to see you again have been the best weeks I've had in the past two years or so.

"Like you said before, I know there's still a lot that's left unsaid on both of our parts, but I really don't know what I would do if I lost you again, Carter. Losing you the first time completely changed me as a person, even though I didn't see it at the time. But with that being said, if you realize that this isn't going to work out, and this isn't what you want, then you walk away whenever you want. Put yourself first - always."

Carter blinks at me, and I can tell that I've caught her off guard with my words, but telling her that the ball was in her court when it came to us was something I needed her to know. I didn't want her to let the guilt of knowing I'd be upset to lose her again be the cause of her putting herself into something she didn't want.

"Wow, Harry," she opens and closes her mouth a couple times - clearly trying to figure out how to respond. "These few weeks have been really great for me too, and like I told you, I've missed you. I allowed for this to be a date just as much as you did, so I hope you don't feel like you forced me to label it as that.

As of right now, I'm more than happy with how things are going, but I can't lie to you and say that may change after we really talk things out. I don't think it will, but I just want you to know that's a possibility, okay?"

I move my head in agreement with her words. "Of course, Carter - of course."

I watch her shoulders deflate, as if she's let out a sigh of relief before we're both extending our glasses forward - clinking them together.

"To us," she speaks up first, a large smile back on her face.

"To us."

We each sip our wine, and she hums out in appreciation. "Oh my god, Harry," she licks over her bottom lip. "This wine is delicious."

"Yeah? I went over their selection online, and I tried to pick out what I remembered you liking."

"It's perfect. Thank you."

I watch as she looks around the restaurant a bit before looking back over to me. "Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any to start, huh?"

"If you're ready, then absolutely," I reassure her.

"I should probably start with me figuring things out about my mom and Gwen since that all ties in to how everything happened, especially with us," she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before continuing. "One of the first things my therapist had me focus on was my emotions towards them, but most importantly their emotions towards me.

"She had me write down times throughout my life where my mom yelled at me, which wasn't often, but I came to the conclusion that she only ever did when it involved something with Gwen. Whether it be me trying to play with one of her toys, or if Gwen and I were fighting about her borrowing something of mine when Gwen knew that I would be needing it, my mother always took Gwen's side - even when she was clearly wrong."

Reaching forward, she takes a large sip of wine before she continues. "I also realized that my mom and Gwen have extremely jealous tendencies. So, when the wedding came around, it was such a big thing for Gwen, and the way they treated me just magnified. They wanted it to go perfectly for her, and they didn't want me to ruin it. That's when I became their pin cushion."

I grimace at her use of words, but I know she's not wrong.

"Also, I don't know if Gwen ever told you, but she caught me leaving the groom's suite that day," she places her hands on the table, and I can see they're slightly trembling. "She told me she knew of my feelings for you, that she always did, and she couldn't believe I told you on your wedding day of all days. That's when she said she never wanted to see me again, and for me to stay away from you both. I listened to her because I knew you loved her, and I knew she made you happy, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

My heart aches at her words. Gwen never told me she had seen her after her confession to me. I didn't know that she ever knew that Carter had feelings for me.

"She didn't tell me," I whispered, shaking my head.

"I also need to apologize to you, Harry. I need to tell you sorry for never telling you my feelings sooner, and I also need to tell you I'm sorry for when I chose to tell you about them," I can see tears are now gathering in Carter's eyes, and she takes a minute to collect herself before she's blinking them away.

"I never wanted to tell you about my feelings because I didn't want to ruin what we had, but it seems that's exactly what I did because I waited so long. Maybe if I had just kept my mouth shut, none of this would've ever happened, and I-"

"Carter, I'm going to stop you right there," I butt in, not being able to listen to her blaming herself in this way. "Do not apologize to me for that. I won't let you blame yourself for what happened. There's only one person to blame for our friendship falling apart, and that's me."

Carter keeps quiet as I continue. "I should've never let Gwen keep me from you like she did, and I should've never let her treat you the way she did. Things would've been different if I had put my foot down. If I had refused to let her wedge her way between us, but I didn't do that.

"She fed me lies our entire relationship when it came to you. She knew I liked you, she revealed that to me during our divorce process. Whenever you were out of the house hanging out with Kieran, she told me you were seeing different guys, and I don't know why I believed her. Then she started dropping hints that she liked me. One thing led to another, and it just happened. The last thing she really lied to me about was her trying to contact you after the wedding. She led me to believe that she was trying just as hard as I was to reach you, and in our last big fight, I found out that wasn't the case."

Now I'm the one reaching for my glass of wine, taking two large sips. "I realized in therapy that I never truly lost my feelings for you, Carter. I just shoved them down, and I suppressed them once I started having feelings for Gwen. I convinced myself that they were gone because how could I love two people at once? But, my love for you was never like my love for Gwen. The love I had for you..."

I swallow harshly before I look down at my lap, shaking my head. It's only a second later that I feel the tips of Carter's fingers brushing over my knuckles.

"Tell me, please."

Looking back up, I meet her eyes, and I can tell she's pleading with me to be honest. It was hard to act like I was talking about the past. My love for has only grown more since being around her again.

"It was everything. Even if I didn't think it was reciprocated, and even though I didn't even tell you about it."

Carter opens her mouth to speak, but we're interrupted by the waiter setting out dishes down in front of us. We each thank him, placing our napkins into our laps as we grab our silverware.

"Let's just enjoy our meals for now," I reach out to grab her hand, and I kiss the back of it quickly. "And if we want to talk more later, we can."

"Okay," Carter breathes, and we both begin to dig into our food.

The rest of our time at the restaurant consists of us talking about much lighter topics while stealing bites of each other's food.

Now we're sitting outside of her house in my car, my hand placed on the inside of Carter's knee as she twists my rings around my fingers.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about before I head in?" Carter rests her head back against the headrest, looking over at me.

I know that what I'm about to bring up is serious, but it's something that's eaten away at me for too long.

"I didn't want to ask in the restaurant, and you can decline to answer if it's too personal, but it's something that's been weighing on me. Did...did Gwen ever get physical with you when you guys would argue?"

I'm hesitant to look at her, but I'm met with narrowed brows on her face. "I mean, we used to wrestle as little kids, but when we got older, no," she shakes her head. "Why? Did she get physical with you?"

I stay silent as I look down to stare at my steering wheel, and I can hear Carter inhale sharply when I don't answer after a moment.

It's not even a second later that I feel her arms around me, and she's pulling my face into her neck. "I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispers, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I feel tears welling in my eyes as I lift a hand to wrap around her wrist. I feel her nails scraping against my scalp to comfort me as her other hand caresses my back.

"You didn't deserve that. You'll never deserve that."

We stay in the same position for a while as she continues to comfort me silently before she speaks again. "You know that right? That you didn't deserve that?"

I nod, sniffling as I lift my hand up - pushing the tears off my cheeks with the heel of my palm as I sit back. "I know. I know I didn't deserve it."

"Good," Carter says softly, and I can see the worry behind her eyes as she stares at me.

Biting down on her bottom lip, she grabs her purse that was on the floorboard, and she shuffles through it. She looks back over to me, and that's when I see she has another postcard in her hand. "I had two of these in my bag tonight. I figured this whole thing could've gone one way or the other. "

She extends the card out to me, and I take it from her. I look down to see a line illustration of a butterfly on the front. I know that she did this on purpose because we each have butterfly tattoos, and it has me feeling hopeful.

"Will this quote tell me which way it went?" I ask her with a soft chuckle, and it causes her to giggle as well while she shrugs.

"Flip it over and find out."

Taking in a deep breath, I flip the postcard over, and I read over the quote a few times to really take it in.

"Rewinding time is not possible, but "do-over's" are. Sometimes we get another chance to do something right the second time that we got wrong the first time." - UNKNOWN

I look back over to her after a moment, and her expression is one filled with such kindness that I feel like I could cry again. "In case that wasn't enough to tell you...would you like to come in?"

My eyebrows raise, as I'm a bit shocked that she was asking me to do so, but I didn't give her any time to think that I was hesitating. "Yeah, yes, please," I laugh nervously, and she tilts her head.

"Come on then."

We both get out of the car, and we head up to the door which she unlocks. As we walk inside, she flips on some lights, and I instantly hear small thumps coming from her hallway while we take off our shoes.

"Hello, Mr. Crane," Carter coos as she lowers herself down to pet the petite black cat that's come to greet her. "This is Ichabod."

The image in front of me has my heart completely bursting from how sweet it is, and I follow Carter's actions - bending down to be closer to them both. "Hello Ichabod, I'm Harry."

I hold my hand out, and Ichabod sniffs it for a bit before rubbing back across the front of Carter's legs for a while, but he keeps his eyes on me.

"He's really nice, I promise," Carter says as she continues to rub over his back, and eventually Ichabod makes his way over to me.

I begin to scratch underneath his chin, and behind his ears as Carter stands.

"Do you want some more wine?"

Glancing over, I watch as she walks into her kitchen - loose red curls bouncing as she goes.

"Yeah, I'll have another glass," I tell her, giving Ichabod a few more pets before standing up myself. "Just one is probably good though considering I have to drive."

"What do you think I'm trying to do? Get you drunk so you have to stay over?" Carter looks at me over her shoulder with a shiteating smirk, and I shake my head at her. Knowing that the atmosphere around us has turned playful, I decide to feed into it as well.

"I don't know," I shrug before crossing my arms over my chest as I lean against one of her counters. "Are you?"

Carter hums as she turns back around to grab a bottle of wine out of her wine fridge, and then she walks over to the cabinet housing her wine glasses. "I mean, would you staying be the absolute worst thing in the world?"

My adrenaline perks up slightly at her words, and I quickly clear my throat. "No, I-I don't think that, I just didn't know-"

"Harry," Carter walks over to the counter next to the one I was leaning against - setting the glasses down. "I was just kidding. You didn't think I was that easy, did you?"

Groaning, I look up to the ceiling as I smile.

She's really busting my balls here.

"I'm not used to being one step ahead of you when it comes to picking on each other," she bumps her hip against mine to have me looking down at her again. "I guess I'm making up for all those years you had me blushing like an idiot."

"Yeah, now that's me," I laugh, leaning down to pinch at her waist - causing her to yelp.

Carter eventually uncorks the bottle, and she pours us each a glass of wine as we move over to sit on the couch. Ichabod makes his way over to the cat tree in the corner of the living room, and he makes his way to the top tier - quickly curling into himself and falling asleep.

"He's so cute," I compliment her. "How old is he?"

"Just a little over a year old," she says, looking over to the cat tree for a moment before looking over to me. "I actually found him outside of the shop I was working at while I was gone."

"You're kidding."

Carter shakes her head, swallowing down her sip of wine before continuing. "It was early spring, and it was raining so bad outside. It was chilly, and windy on top of that. I was closing up the shop, and I went around back to throw the trash into the dumpster before getting in my car, and I could hear him crying underneath it after I threw the bag inside.

"I pulled my phone out so I could use my flashlight, and I looked under, and there he was. He was by himself, and shaking, and I knew I couldn't leave him. To be honest, I didn't think I'd have the time to take on a kitten, so I had every intention of keeping him for a few days to get him better before taking him to the shelter. As you can see, I got way too attached and that didn't happen. It worked out for the both of us though. I don't know what I would do without him. He's my little buddy."

"You know it's funny, I had been contemplating getting a cat myself before I ran into you," I tell her. "Now you've kind of convinced me that I need one. The house is so quiet by myself."

"I definitely get what you mean. I've lived alone since I first moved away, and now I couldn't imagine not hearing his little paws on the floors, or hearing him eating his food in the kitchen while I'm sketching at my dining table. You should get one, H," she says, tapping her foot against my thigh. "They're a lot of fun."

"Yeah, I think I might," I say, dropping my hand to wrap it around her foot, running the pad of my thumb over the arch of it. "Would you come to the shelter with me?"

"Of course! I'd love to. Plus, I think I should have a say considering they're going to be around Mr. Crane. I need to make sure they're a suitable candidate for his friendship," she smirks, taking another sip of wine.

"That's fair enough."

It's quiet for a moment before she makes a small noise as she swallows her sip - as if she's remembered something. "Hold on, I'll be right back."

Carter sets her wine glass down on the table, and she slips down the hallway for a moment. I can't help but smile to myself as she's gone - not believing that I'm in her home with her right now, us sharing wine together and talking as if nothing has changed.

This is all I've wanted for so long.

I hear her coming back after a minute or so, and she sits down while passing me a piece of paper. As I study the piece of paper, I see she picks her wine glass back up, and she moves to drape her legs over my lap like she did in the park the other day.

"I drew that while I was in therapy," she said, tapping her fingertips against her glass. "She told me to draw something that provided me comfort in the past, and I came up with this. While I was drawing it, I was thinking of how you used to always hold my hand when we were out with friends if you could tell I wasn't having a good time, or if something was making me anxious. I've been meaning to bring it to show you when we've been hanging out, I just kept forgetting."

My eyes study the drawing, and I wait to ask what immediately comes to mind. "Do you think you could tattoo this on me?"

Carter's eyes look like they're about to bulge out of her head once I look back to her. "What?"

"I really like it, and you drew it perfectly. It reminds me of us too," I nod. "I'd really like for you to tattoo it on me, if you're comfortable with that."

"Harry, you know I'm always more than happy to ink you up. I'm just a little shocked - that's all. I'm more than comfortable with you getting it."

"Maybe in a couple months? I'm thinking on the back of my arm," I tilt my head to the side as I continue to stare at the drawing of two hands holding.

"I think that will look really good, H."

I only intended on staying at Carter's for maybe an hour at the most, but as she indulged in another glass of wine, I decided to stay so she could tell me all about the city she had been living in before moving back home. It was interesting to hear about the life she had without me in it, and I was actually able to listen to her talk about it without feeling a sadness in my chest.

I have her back now, and that's what matters.

Looking over to the clock, I can see it's nearing midnight, and I know it's time to go home.

"Well, I should probably get going," I sigh as I finish up my glass of wine. Only having the one glass at dinner, and then the two glasses here, I was more than fine to drive - especially with pasta sitting in my stomach.

"Oh, only if you're sure," Carter says, setting her almost finished wine down on the coffee table as I stand up. "You're not keeping me up or anything."

"I know, but I don't want to overstay my welcome," I chuckle, walking to set my empty wine glass in the sink in her kitchen.

When I walk back over Ichabod hops off his cat tree and follows me towards the door, circling my feet as he looks up at me.

"I think somebody doesn't want you to leave," Carter giggles as she walks closer to me, fiddling with her fingers behind her back.

"I'm sure I'll see you again soon, bud," I kneel down to give Ichabod a few head scratches before I stand up and look over at Carter. "Do you think that we could do this again?"

"Harry," Carter closes all space between us as she drops her hands to the side. "Have I not made it obvious enough that I more than enjoyed myself tonight? I would absolutely love to do this again."

I let out a small laugh of relief, scratching the back of my neck for a moment while looking down at my feet. Pursing my lips to the side, I look back up at Carter. "Can I kiss you?"

I can tell my request takes Carter by surprise, and I immediately feel like an idiot. "Shit, I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean to be so forward. You just look so beautiful, and I had such a good time that I thought maybe-"

I'm cut off when I feel Carter's hands cupping my cheeks as she pushes herself on her tiptoes, her taking the complete initiative to have her lips meet mine.

After a moment, I hum in satisfaction, and I drop my arms to wrap them around her. One of them wraps around her waist, while the other curls to the middle of her torso - my hand pressing against her shoulder blades to keep her flush against me. Carter is much shorter than me, and I can tell she's struggling to stay on her toes, so I gently lift her off the floor just a bit using the strength in my arm around her waist - causing her to squeal against my lips.

"Stay," Carter whispers, as she pulls away, her eyes dancing over my face. "Please stay."

My mouth runs dry when I realize exactly what she's saying, and I don't hesitate to give her a nod. "Okay, I'll stay."

Carter smiles, and I reach down to have both arms around her waist before I'm pulling her up higher. She wraps her arms around my neck, and her legs around my hips, as she leans down to reconnect our lips. "Bedroom is at the end of the hall," she mumbles against them.

I follow her orders, carrying her with ease down the hallway until we're in her room. After a few more moments of letting our lips mold against one another, I lower her down so that she's standing in front of me again.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"I'm sure," Carter says as she takes a step back, peeling her cardigan off her shoulders. "Take your clothes off."

My cock twitches in my pants at her words, and it takes a minute for my body to catch up with my mind. I pull my vest off and toss it to the side before I start to undo the buttons of my dress shirt. I watch as she reaches up to undo the ribbon tied at the top of her dress, pulling it so that it loosens, and she's able to slip her arms out of the material. She pauses for a minute with her hand pressed against her chest to still keep her dress up, watching me with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

I shrug my shirt off before I reach down to my pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them - leaving me in just my briefs.

Carter drops her dress, and my breath catches in the back of my throat when I see that her top is completely bare - only a black lace long left on her body. "This...this isn't weird for you, is it?"

I shake my head as I walk forward, my eyes shamelessly roaming over her. I'm taking her all in, as if she could disappear, or like I could wake at any moment - like this was all a dream.

"It's not weird at all," I tell her honestly, and Carter reaches out to wrap her hands around my wrists.

Her head tilts to the side as she moves me around until my hands are on her full breasts, and I sigh as I run the pads of my thumbs over her pebbled nipples. She gasps while throwing her head back - her eyes slipping shut.

Hearing that sound leave her, and seeing that just the smallest touch was bringing her such pleasure, it's like something in me snaps. I walk forward to where she's back against her dresser, and her eyes shoot open.

Carter watches me as I begin to lower myself down her body, pressing kisses to her neck and over her sternum. Once I reach her breasts, I rest the undersides of them in my palms before closing my lips around one of her nipples. She lets out a breathy moan, but we don't sever eye contact. Her hands wrap around the edge of her dresser, her elbows slightly pointed up to her ceiling as I pay the same amount of attention to her other nipple.

"Harry," my name leaving her mouth has me humming against her skin, and she rolls her head on her shoulders for just a moment before her eyes are right back on mine.

Abandoning her chest, I slip all the way down so I'm kneeling in front of her as I kiss over her stomach - hooking my fingers into the sides of her thong. I still hold her eyes, silently asking for permission, and she gives me a nod. I continue to sponge kisses down her body, all while pulling her underwear down at the same time. She's squirming underneath me, and I can tell she's aching for more now.

Once her underwear hit the floor, Carter lifts one leg to step out, but when she lifts the other, I quickly wrap my hand around her ankle - throwing her leg over my shoulder as I toss her underwear to the side.

"Can I taste you, Carter?" I ask, my eyes slipping shut for the first time since I've had my hands on her - the smell of her arousal filling my nose while I latch my lips to the inside of her thigh.

"Please," she whines, and my mouth finds its way between her legs before I can even process. “Oh, god."

One of Carter's hands leaves the dresser to make its home on the back of my head as she arches into me. My tongue is immediately met with her wetness, and I groan at just how much had accrued in such a short amount of time. I lick my way back up until I'm sucking her clit between my lips, and I open my eyes to look up at her.

Her head is back as she pants into the air, her face displaying absolute pleasure as I lift my hand to massage her thigh that's resting beside my head. My touch alerts her, and she looks down at me with pink cheeks.

"Good. 'S so good," she moans deliriously before she tilts her head to the side to rest her cheek on her shoulder - eyes slipping shut again.

I move back down to lap at her dripping entrance before I plunge my tongue inside - teeth scraping over her swollen clit. A strangled, but loud "uh" leaves her as she now curls forward, and the hand on the back of my head is pushing me even further into her core while her other hand drops to grip at my shoulder not cradling her thigh.

Everything about this is causing me to leak profusely into my briefs, and I know that I'm the hardest I've been in a long time. I creep my hand up from her thigh to grip one of the rounds of her ass - feeling her skin pushing through the gaps between my fingers.

"Wait, w-wait," I hear Carter gasp, and I pull away immediately. She sees the look of worry on my face, causing her to laugh breathlessly. "You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry. I just want to make you come twice."

I close my eyes and drop a hand to my briefs to apply pressure to my throbbing bulge at her words - willing away the urge to come right then. After a moment, I feel her slip her leg off my shoulder, pulling my cheek to rest against her stomach as she runs her fingers through the top of my hair.

"Can I do that for you, Harry? Can I have you come in my mouth, and then while you recuperate, you can make me come?" She slides one hand down my back - nails grazing against my skin. "And then when I come, I'll need you inside me, and I hope you'll be hard again. I want you so bad."

I turn my face to kiss along her stomach much like I did before. I'm riddled speechless by her want for me. It had been so long since anyone had talked about me in such a way, and it was causing me to feel so many different emotions.

"Please, baby," Carter whispers, and I slowly feel her lowering her body. I blink my eyes open to see her kneeling in front of me - moving her hands to cradle my face. "Let me make you feel good."

The pet name she uses ignites a fire in me, and I wrap my arms around her to pull her forward - having her thighs straddle one of my own as I press my lips against hers. Her thumbs swipe over my cheek as we kiss, and I tangle one of my hands into the back of her hair. Our lips part to have our tongues rolling against one another which causes goosebumps to coat my skin. We make our way off the ground, but we don't let our lips disconnect as she lays me down on the bed.

My hands wander all over her body as our tongues ebb and flow, and I give her plush hips a squeeze before she's pulling away from me. She runs her lips down my body, and just like I did earlier to her, she starts pulling on the waistband of my briefs.

"Lift your hips," she tells me, and I blindly obey.

Once my briefs are down to the tops of my thighs, my prick springs out and slaps against my stomach - smearing precome onto my skin.

"Shit," Carter's mouth gapes as she stares at me, and I feel myself twitch under her gaze.

She makes quick work of getting my briefs the rest of the way down before pushing herself between my legs. She's knelt down, back arched to have her plump ass in the air - right in my line of vision.

"Fuck, Carter," I whisper, feeling myself leaking even more at the sight. "You're so sexy. I don't think I've ever been this hard."

Carter licks over her bottom lip as she wraps her hand around my dripping cock, her other hand snaking up my chest to rest over one of my pecs - her palm grazing over my taut nipple. She works the hand on my prick up to gather my precome onto her hand before she slicks it down my length. Beginning to pump me, she nuzzles her nose into the trimmed hairs framing my base.

"I can't tell you how long I've wanted this," she tells me, planting kisses all around me.

I try to keep my eyes on her for as long as possible, but the pleasure is overwhelming. If she didn't get her mouth on me in the next few seconds, I was going to end up coming all over my stomach and her hand.

"I can't believe you're even more toned than before," she plants a kiss against my balls, causing my stomach to clench. "So pretty. Everything about you is pretty. You have a pretty face, a pretty body, and a pretty cock."

Her words have me moaning as my toes curl into the fabric of her comforter. I never once would've guessed that Carter was so vocal in the bedroom, and it's causing my head to spin. She was a true vision, and I found myself so lucky to be underneath her at this very moment.

I can't help but slip my eyes shut once her mouth is on my tip, and she lowers herself halfway down my shaft before pulling back up. I find myself biting down on the insides of my cheeks as she kitten licks at my slit - resulting in more precome pouring out of me.

"Carter," I gasp, one hand gripping to the pillow case my head was resting on while the other reached out to wrap her hair around my palm. "I'm not going to last very long right now."

She kisses my tip before I feel her nudge the side of her nose against it. "That's okay. This is about you right now. If you come in five seconds, I don't care."

Carter's mouth closes against me once again, and this time she lowers herself almost all the way down. I feel the tip of her nose against my happy trail as she zig zags her tongue along the underside of my shaft, and I can feel the ball of her tongue piercing pressing against every vein in her wake.

She bobs her head up and down before she presses all the way down, and I feel her swallow around me.

"Fuck," I choke on a moan, squeezing my eyes shut tight as I try to make this last as long as possible. "You're so fucking good at this."

Carter hums in response, causing a vibration up my shaft which has my abs jumping. I now feel my orgasm truly building in my lower abdomen. She pulls up to where just my tip is in her mouth, and I flutter my eyes open to see her looking at me - wiggling her ass in the air. She keeps me stable with one hand, and she parts her lips to show me that my tip is just resting against her tongue.

She shakes her head from side to side for a moment before she focuses on rolling the ball of her piercing over the prominent vein right underneath my tip again and again.

"I'm gonna come," I strangle out, my hand tightening in her hair. "I can't hold it."

Carter holds my eyes as she closes her mouth around me again, and she uses the hand that was holding me in place to start pumping me once more. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I feel myself releasing onto her tongue, groaning out as I buck my hips up subconsciously. It causes a small squeal to leave her, and if I was in the right stand of mind I'd immediately be apologizing, but my brain has gone completely fuzzy. She guides me through my orgasm fully, and I wince in sensitivity as I feel how tight she has her lips against me to make sure none spills out.

My eyes blink open just in time to see her popping off me entirely, and I watch as she swallows - the smallest bit of my come seeping from the corner of her mouth. Her tongue darts out to collect it while she begins to rub her hands up and down the tops of my thighs.

"You okay?" She asks, moving her way up my body so that she's hovering over me.

"I'm more than okay," I laugh, causing one to leave Carter as well. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. "Come here."

I pull her down to meet my mouth again, and I hum as I taste myself on her tongue. As we kiss, I turn us over to where she's now underneath me. She hikes one of her knees up against my hip while resting her hands on the sides of my neck. Using one hand to hold up the crease of her leg, I dance my other one down between her legs.

I cup her cunt in my hand and give it a squeeze, causing her to gasp against my mouth. Smirking softly, I curl my middle and ring fingers to slip the tips of them through her drenched slit, and I'm almost certain I could already get hard again when she immediately coats my fingers in her arousal.

"You got so wet, Carter," I lick at her top lip before bumping the tip of my nose against hers. "Did getting me off turn you on that much?"

She nods, her hands beginning to roam all over my torso. "Sexiest thing I've ever seen was your face when you came just now."

"You're giving me an ego," I tell her, nipping my teeth against her jawline.

"You deserve to have one," she breathes as I feel her nails digging into my skin.

Swirling my fingertips around her entrance, I let her get accustomed to the feeling before I'm easily gliding them inside of her due to how open she already is for me. She mewls while automatically lifting her hips to meet my fingers, and I help satisfy her even more by tapping against her spongy spot.

"Yes," she whines, her chest now flush against mine - hard nipples grazing my skin. "Please, Harry, don't stop."

"I'm not going to, baby," I assure her, sucking on the junction where her neck and shoulder meet. "Not stopping until your come is covering my fingers, understood?"

"Mhmm," she lets out a high pitched hum as I begin to thrust my fingers in and out of her, making sure to continue curling them every now and again. "I understand."

Carter's heavy breathing fills the room once more as writhes underneath me. I can feel her clenching around me in what seems like intervals, and I know she's probably just as close as I was once she got her mouth on me.

"God, I can't believe I get to have you like this right now," I tell her, testing the waters to see if talking turns her on like it does for me. "Never thought this would be a reality for me. I thought I fucked up so bad that you'd never speak to me again, and now I've got you naked and open for me. I'm the luckiest man in the whole world to be here with you."

She cries out as I drop my hand from her leg to slip between our chests so I can roll one of her nipples between my index finger and my thumb. I can see a sheen of sweat forming on her hairline, and I slip a third finger into her to try to get her to her climax faster - not wanting her to feel like I was teasing too much.

"Harry," she whimpers, opening her eyes to look up at me.

"You're right there, hm?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, and I watch as he nods in response to me. "Come on, flower. Let go for me."

The old nickname I used to call her seems to be what sends her over the edge.

Carter's head tilts slightly back, and I watch as her lips part. A lewd moan starts to escape her as I feel her completely clamp down on my fingers, but I don't take my eyes off her face. She keeps her eyes on me as she comes, her orgasm coating me just like I asked as I continue to ride her through it. She wiggles her hips, as if she's trying to move away from, and that's when I remove my fingers - knowing that she's coming back down.

Her eyes watch my every move as I bring my fingers up to my mouth, sealing my lips around them as I suck them clean. I close my eyes once I have her taste on my tongue again, swallowing down a moan so I don't look absolutely pathetic.

I open my eyes to look down at Carter, and I see her smiling up at me. "Thank you," her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath. "That felt so good."

Looking down at the same time, we both see that my cock is about half hard, but I know it won't take much longer for me to get fully there when I know where this is going next. I lower myself down to kiss her body like I had before, and I take the time to really examine her skin.

"You got a lot of new tattoos," I say, giving one of her breasts a small squeeze.

"Mhmm," she hums, wrapping one hand around my forearm that was connected to the hand on her chest - rubbing her palm up and down my skin. "A pretty good amount, I'd say."

Lowering myself down onto her, I begin to press my lips over the ones that I know I haven't seen, whispering 'new' as I do so. It causes Carter to giggle as I locate each one, and she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches me closely, but her smile still shines through.

"I have another," she tells me, tapping me to lift up a bit before she flips over onto her stomach.

I look down and see ink right under the crease between one of her ass cheeks and her thigh. "Also new."

Smirking, I lean down to press my lips against that one as well as she looks at me over her shoulder. I trail my lips up just slightly, biting down playfully on her ass cheek - causing a laughter filled squeal to leave her, and I feel her lightly kicking her feet.

I lift up onto my knees, grasping her hips to flip her over once more, and I feel that I've grown fully hard again.

"You're really sure, Carter?" I ask her, and she nods.

"I've never been so sure about something before. I want you, Harry. Fuck, I need you. I think I'll cry if you're not in me in the next few minutes."

That causes me to chuckle softly. "I'm going to put on some music, is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

I stand up from the bed and grab my phone that's in my pants pocket. Flipping through my apps, I locate Spotify and quickly search the song I had in mind. Once I find it, I place my phone on her nightstand before crawling back over her. The intro starts, and my eyes wander over Carter's face before the vocals kick in.

"I get so lost, sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away I drive off in my car, but whichever way I go I come back to the place you are."

"Harry," she whispers as she trails her fingertips down my biceps, and I see tears filling her eyes.

"Don't cry, please," I lean down to press a kiss against each of her cheeks. "It's how I've pictured this moment for so long."

"You mean to this song?"

"To this song," I nod, reaching down to massage her hips in each of my hands. "This is how I felt about you then, and I haven't been completely honest with you because...this is also how I feel about you now too. I meant what I said earlier. You mean everything to me, Carter Adams."

"How are you going to tell me not to cry, and then say something like that?" Carter laughs, but I can hear the tears filling it.

"Sorry, I just needed to let you know," I lean down to press my lips gently against hers before pulling back just slightly. "Do you have a condom?"

"I do, but...are you okay if we don't use one? I have an IUD, and I'm clean. I got checked after my break up, and I haven't been with anyone since," she cradles my jaw in her palms, the pad of her thumb brushing over my lips. "I just really want to feel you."

"I'm clean as well," I nod, running my hands down from her hips to the outside of her thighs to pull her knees up against me once more. "I'd really like to feel you completely too, Carter."

Reaching out, I grab a pillow from the other side of the bed that she wasn't lying on, and I slip it underneath her hips to have her angled up slightly. "Good?"

"Good," she responds, and I can tell that we're both a bit nervous now that we know this is actually going to happen.

With one hand cupping her waist, I wrap my other hand around my length to guide myself to her. I allow my tip to run through her folds to collect her arousal for a moment before I'm pushing inside. My jaw goes slack, and I choke on a groan when I feel just how tight she is around me with me barely being inside.

"Oh," she moans, grasping to the creases of my arms.

I look up from where we're connected to check on Carter, and she gives me a nod - telling me silently to keep going. I'm slow as I continue to push forward, and once I'm completely inside, I hear a flooded whine leave her.

"H-Harry," she says, and she's immediately demanding my attention when I hear how much emotion is behind my name. "I love you."

Those three words that I never thought I'd hear her say to me again, at least not in context, have me crumbling.

My bottom lip trembles as I cup her cheek in my hand. "I love you too, Carter. I love you so much."

Leaning down, I connect our lips in a passionate kiss, neither of us caring as we feel our tears smearing over each other's cheeks. We stay still for a while, hands caressing each other's bodies while our tongues melt together. It was incredible how perfectly we fit together, and my heart was pounding against my chest due to the intimacy that was surrounding us in every way imaginable.

Our mouths separate with a large 'smack' bouncing off the walls, and smiles are immediately pulling at the corners of our lips.

"I'm gonna start moving, okay?"

"Okay," Carter gives my arms a squeeze, and I draw my hips back halfway before allowing myself to fill her to the brim again.

She sighs out, leaning her head to the side to press her lips against my heart tattoo. My eyes catch hers, and she sends me another soft smile. "New," she mumbles against my skin.

That small gesture has a knot forming in my throat again, but I power through. The only thing I want right now is to give her even more pleasure than I did before. I want to show her how much I love her now, and how much I loved her even before.

After a few more moments of letting her adjust, I begin to fall into a rhythm of plunging my slick cock in and out of her weeping cunt. Carter's walls flutter around me every time I'm fully sheathed back inside, and I look down to see her clit all puffy and inviting. I push one of her legs down onto the bed, and then drape the knee of her other leg over the crease of my arm. Moving onto my knees just a bit more, I begin to thrust at a new angle, and her muscles clamp down the hardest they have.

"That it, baby?" I ask, dropping my free hand to rub the pad of my thumb against her clit. I can feel it pulsing, and I know that she's close to another orgasm already.

"Jesus Christ, Harry," she groans, nails digging into my skin as I keep up my pace. "Splitting me open."

Her words have my prick twitching inside of her, and I know that I'm not going to be able to hold out as long as I want to.

I'll just have to make a promise to make it up to her in the morning.

"Yeah? Got you feeling full?"

"So full," Carter shakes her head from side to side, and her eyes are droopy. I can tell she's trying her hardest to keep them open, and on me.

"You feel so good around me, flower," I compliment, licking over my bottom lip. "Prettiest, and sweetest little pussy squeezing me. Can't get enough can you, hm?"

I watch as her body trembles underneath me, and she opens her mouth to say something, but I feel her walls tightening. Looking down, I can see her second orgasm coating my length, and that causes me to start slipping in and out of her even easier than before.

"That's a good girl," I lean down to press my lips to the corner of hers. "You're 's good for me, Carter."

Carter clutches to me, and I allow her to lift her knees to my hips again so that I can be closer to her. I pant against the side of her neck as my feel my own orgasm festering at the bottom of my spine.

"Where do you want me to come?" I ask, and she's quick to press her heels against the small of my back - forcing me to barely move in and out of her now.

"Inside, please," she begs me, and that's all it takes for me to find my second release.

I can't help but bite down on her shoulder as I pump everything I have inside of her sensitive cunt, and I hear her letting out small mewls and whimpers each time I thrust back in. Once I know she's taken everything from me, I collapse on top of her, but I'm mindful not to bare all my weight.

We cling to each other, sharing small kisses and caresses as we come down from our highs. When I finally find the strength, I push myself up onto one of my palms, my other hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Carter's ear.

"I love you," I tell her, and she smiles up at me - corners of her eyes squinting.

"I love you too."

As I hover over the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I wonder how I could have ever been so stupid to let her slip away the first time, but I have to remind myself that's in the past. Tonight truly marks the new beginning of this relationship, and I know that it'll bring us both nothing but happiness.

I look at her, and I see not only my future, but also my soulmate. Regardless of what happened before, I know one thing is absolutely true - Carter Adams has always been the love of my life.

#harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry edward styles #harry styles smut #harry styles ff #harry styles smutty fanfic #harry styles short story #harry smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #Spotify

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merrycrisis-if · 1 month

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hello! I just read the latest update and your writing is phenomenal as always. I've only played through Qiu's route so far and I'm so happy with both MC and Qiu's progression. however, this made me a bit worried for the future since so many commitments were made. may I ask how many chapters are left (if you know) or how close we are to the end? thank you for writing and sharing with us!

Ahh! Merry crisis is a lot more "bounded" in scope and chapters than CT:OS so I actually have an answer for this!

Rough outline below the cut (In case purist folks want absolutely no spoilers!)

Prologue: before 24th Dec

Chapter 1: 24th Dec (published)

Chapter 2: 25th Dec (published)

Chapter 3: 26th Dec (published)

Chapter 4: 27th Dec (published)

Chapter 5: 28th Dec (Nat arrives! Hang out at the conference/after... or not)

Chapter 6: 29th Dec (free day to hang with ROs/fam, head to island? 🏝)

Chapter 7: 30th Dec (MYSTERY EVENT👀 largely family related)

Chapter 8: 31st Dec (New year's eve! Decisions to be made... 🎆)

Epilogue: 1st Jan and beyond (vignettes of MC's future)

#merry crisis #interactive fiction #if #asks #timeline #chapters #plan

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mondaymelon · 1 year

Text

just this once. (scaramouche x gn!reader)

warnings/notes! sick insomniac reader, scara is a bit of a meanie in the beginning, fluff, implied suggestive content

(a/n) gift for kyoi!! ive been bribed to write this - also this is scaramouche, not wanderer! takes place before sumeru archon quest - requests are open at the time of writing this btw!!

epilogue in the tags!!

enjoy!!⋆｡°✩

________________________________________

"Idiot."

"Hey!"

"What? I'm not the one who's sick right now. Only idiots catch colds." Scaramouche sneered at you, dark violet eyes gleaming cruelly.

"I've got a fucking weak immune system!!" Protesting, you crossed your arms and pouted from where you lay buried underneath the blankets on your bed.

"As a puppet, all I can say is that human bodies warrant more trouble than they're worth. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one who has the lacking side of the bargain here." Scaramouche rolled his eyes at your antics, only laughing quietly to himself when you abruptly sneezed.

Sniffling, you glared up at him. "Ugh, seriously? I'm sick right now, can we just..." You gestured your hands wildly, not exactly sure what point you were trying to prove. "...not?"

"As if."

"Be roommates with Scara, they said... it'll be fun, they said..." Cursing under your breath you sighed dramatically. "Who am I kidding right now??"

The Fatui Harbinger just stared at you, a smile playing at his lips. "Go on, it's fun seeing you so worked up over nothing. Ah~ truly. Why go circuses from Fontaine when you already have such a dramatic show in front of you?" Scaramouche let out a bout of laughter, only pausing when you sneezed yet again.

Groaning loudly, you flopped back onto your pillow with a soft thump. Scaramouche watched your movements as if he had nothing better to do.

"So... are you just... going to stand there? Ominously?" You sent a pointed look at the violet-haired man, arms crossed, eyes half-open and staring down at you.

"Maybe I will."

"Whatever then. Goodnight." You turned over, gripping your plush blankets with one hand with the other propped under your head while you tried not to think about Scara's burning gaze on you. And although you were tired, tired was an understatement, you couldn't find it in you to fall asleep. Either it was the Fatui Harbinger standing by your bedside and seemingly waiting for you to fall asleep, or maybe it was just your insomnia being a bitch. Your heart hammered in your ears. Why now, out of all times, had you had to get sick?

"Hey. You okay?"

What was that?

"Turn around for a second. I can't see your face." There was a note in the man's voice that you had somehow never heard before. The sneering tone was gone, for once and it had been replaced with someone a lot more mild.

"...Okay." Turning around, you felt your face flush at the sight. Some time had passed, and now the bright moonlight streamed into the room through the windows on the adjacent wall. Scaramouche stood there, chin slightly lifted, gaze unwavering, his hair ruffled lightly and an almost worried expression on his face.

...worried...?

Scaramouche leaned forward, brows furrowing at your red face. Gently cupping your cheek, easily taking you by surprise, he frowned slightly. "You're burning up."

"W-What-??"

"Stay here. Don't get up or even try to move or you will overexert yourself. I know your limits far more than you do." Scaramouche pressed a finger to your lips, effectively shushing you. However, his eyes were still uncharacteristically soft, expression weary, almost. He was acting so... soft. And it was almost scaring you. "I'm going to get you an ice pack and something to drink."

Not really sure how to respond, you just nodded.

Scaramouche smiled at your reply. And it was strange. Really, really strange. Bursts of something you couldn't exactly decipher spread throughout your body, lighting up something in your heart. It was hard to describe, as much as it was hard to feel it. As soon as you had broken out of your daze, the harbinger was already gone.

So, you sat there, and waited.

And before long, he was back. This time, carrying a little wooden tray with two cups on it. One for you, and on for him. You didn't even know Scaramouche was capable of acting like this. You gratefully accepted the cup, sipping the drink happily. It was on nights like these that you truly were able to appreciate how lucky you were.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Mhm. Thanks... for well, everything you've done for me tonight." You beamed at him. Your fever had gone down, and now the night air felt cold on your skin. You were in a Fatui encampment in Shneznaya, but the only thing it made you do was make you long for the warm afternoons of Liyue.

Scaramouche had pulled up a chair - when, you had no idea. He silently nodded before trailing his gaze back up to you.

"Still can't sleep?"

"Ah... well..." You let out a sheepish giggle, placing your now-empty cup on the nightstand beside your bed. "You know how it is. I have trouble falling asleep."

Scaramouche stayed silent at that, and didn't say anything. You had begun to think you had somehow offended him, and he was thinking up of ways to dispose of your body before he finally spoke again. "Are you cold?"'

You nodded truthfully before saying, "It's only to be expected, though. Even with the Fatui's high technology heating systems, Shneznaya's permanent winter just can't be beaten." Shivering, you huddled up the blankets on your bed tighter.

"Then...

...Can I sleep with you? Just this once?"

Caught you off-guard was an understatement. A severe understatement. You stared at Scaramouche, who was busy examining the floor, face flushed. "...Can you repeat that?"

"Ugh- You-!" Scaramouche cut himself off, face red. "I'll sleep with you. Just for tonight."

...scara's blushing. "Why so flustered?" you jokingly retorted, somewhat enjoying the current situation.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Hmmm~ well, you'll have to give me some time to decid-"

Scaramouche didn't let you finish. He rushed forward, holding your shoulders in his tight grip as he fell onto you. Strands of hair framed his face in a picturesque manner as you stared up at him from where he had you pinned on the bed. Not even letting you stop to breathe, he pressed your wrists above your head and into the mattress, your eyes widening as you felt a warm pair of lips meet yours. He stole your breath away as he pulled back, glistening eyes dilated as he smirked down at you. His usual expression was beginning to dawn back on his face as he leaned into you and whispered into your ear:

"I don't think you'll ever have trouble sleeping again."

masterlist ✩

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despondentnuzzy · 6 months

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Alright fuck it I want to ramble analyze characters more. I've been stuck on who so I opened to a random page. Saw Marasi first and now I am going to see what things my brain will inform me about her as I write this post.

Spoils for Era 1 and 2 of Mistborn

I've seen Marasi compared to Vin, both in the text and in some posts online, but let's take another angle.

In Mistborn if I asked you which character

Is the socially inconvenient child to an upper class house

Has a half-sibling that gets romantically involved with the main protagonist

First bonds with our earring wearing protagonist at a high society function

Has an education that leads them to believe they can fix the whole world if you just let them do it

Oh my gosh it's Elend Venture in a wig!

But now that I think about it, there is a lot of similarities between Elend and Marasi beyond surface level plot.

Marasi and Elend of course share the traits mentioned above but also share a similar problem. Theory works in theory, practice doesn't always work in practice.

Both of these characters would achieve far greater success if they just didn't play by the rules they said everyone should agree to on the basis they know better.

However while Elend relents at the end of his era, becoming a mostly benevolent tyrant.

Marasi gives up her opportunity to circumnavigate her rules. She rejects the offer to join the Ghostbloods. An organization she could likely do far more with than any regular position within The Basins policing system would ever afford her.

Now in Wax's epilogue we find out she's running for Governor, which would give her greater ability to enact her reforms but she is still working within the system, which realistically will greatly limit her ability to solve problems. (Although I'm sure come Era 3 we'll find out she did plenty of good for the people of Scadriel.)

I mentioned previously that Wayne is toxic preservation while Wax is literally stated to be a force of ruin.

In this view I would see Marasi as Harmony. Unlike Sazed, who is Harmony due to his duplicitous (but not decietful) nature, Marasi is a true balance.

Rusts I feel like I said very little with too much in this post? OH FUCK HER ALLOMANCY!

Umm fuck, Marasi probably has symbolic traits tied to her Allomancy let's see.

You could argue that it plays into how slowly she feels like she grows, that everything can happen so fast around her and that if she was only given the right tools (allomantic grenades) her skills would become invaluable?? Idk I probably should make another post about her sometime. Feels like I didn't do her justice here haha

#cosmere #mistborn #mistborn era two #mistborn era 2 spoilers #nuzzy reads #mistborn era 1 #elend venture #marasi colms #analysis #character analysis #rambling #rambalysis #fuck thats a good name #going to try and call this Rambalysis now

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fiendpact · 6 months

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John Corcoran (@mrjohncorcoran) As promised, a non-exhaustive list of Shadowheart hooks/hints/prompts in two parts in the thread. From throughout the game, so spoilers naturally

General audience:

Nibbles the mouse

Shadowheart defending Nocturne while they were initiates. Hint that Viconia is proud of her, though never admits it

Nocturne doing Shadowheart's hair

Buddog, a childhood rival/bully of Shadowheart, who was also part of the mission to steal the Astral Prism

Training and indoctrination against Githyanki

The actual heist to take the Astral Prism from Vlaakith's vaults. Shadowheart being the sole survivor of a five-member team

Hints at an earlier infiltration mission at a ball in Baldur's Gate

Viconia giving Shadowheart elocution lessons to help her blend into high society

Shadowheart's enjoyment of disguises and roleplay as part of her Sharran training

Shadowheart and Nocturne's hideaway full of night orchids

'Four dogs, eight cats, nine chickens, six pigeons, four sheep, a milk cow named Daphne, a squirrel who's far too clever for her own good, and a wolf cub I found orphaned in some woods'

The owlbear joining Shadowheart's menagerie

Shadowheart's failed attempts to preserve some of her memories

Allister Marnley (Shadowheart's deceased tutor)

The graffiti

Remembering childhood games from the blighted village

Flashes of memories upon being punished by Shar's curse (while playing as Shadowheart only - not companion).

Learning about Dark Justiciars as a young initiate, and dreaming of becoming one

Nocturne helping Shadowheart remember herself whenever she had her memories taken away

'I'd like to see the islands maybe, or head south to Amn. I heard there's an enclave of werecats that hunt the followers of dark gods by moonlight. I'd love to see if there's any truth to that'

Shadowheart's Special Scrumpy

Dragon-riding with Lae'zel

Bonding with her mother, and remembering the taste of her cooking from childhood

Learning jokes from her father

Visiting the House of the Moon, and evading Sharran assassins

Somewhat spicy audience:

What unfolded under the cover of darkness in Sharess' Caress.

Shared love of smutty literature with Wyll

Hint of discreet romances and encounters amongst Sharran trainees at the Cloister

Ever notice how the Sharrans all seem to sleep together in a big dorm?

Untying knots with her tongue

'Try not to dream of tying me up'

Mistaking Durge's nighttime bloodlust for something more amorous, and being perfectly willing to go along with it stealthily while the rest of the camp sleeps

'She looks like she could throw me over her shoulder and carry me to safety... should the need arise'

And it's lesser-seen epilogue follow-up: 'between you and me, I've pretended to have a sprained ankle now and again, for a ride on those muscles'

'Don't wear them out entirely, priest. I might have use for them yet'

Further building of sand castles

Climbing Mount Halsin

*Gestures broadly at Shadowheart and Lae'zel's love-hate tension*

A standing invitation for a private audience with Mother Superior Shadowheart, should you ever be in the vicinity of the Cloister

'Kiss me like you hate me'

Tav: 'If in doubt, I can always lie. We've been slaying dragons and making love atop piles of gold'. Shadowheart: 'That sounds fun - why haven't we been doing that? Perhaps I'll shoo the cats out of our room and scatter copper pieces over the bed some evening, and we can play make-believe'

Bite-kissing

A dash of sacrilegious bloodplay

#he tweeted it as pictures so i changed it to text. chris fleming voice could you excuse me? [SCREAMS]#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #shadowheart #jess.txt

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celiciaa · 10 months

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GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN EVENT STORY....

EPILOGUE.

Rhodolite’s horror night.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

trigger warning: mildly suggestive

minors and ageless blogs dni.

After the sudden test of courage, there were a lot of twists and turns, Emma and I became engaged.

And I still think about it in the summer.

(I’ve messed up….)

Looking down at my own body in front of my room.

Although my black military uniform didn’t show much, the stain was not something that could be covered up.

(And most importantly, it smells.)

I have some concerns, but I can't do anything about it, so I took a breath and opened the door.

Emma: Welcome back. You're late.

As expected, Emma was waiting in the room.

At first she greeted me with a smile, but she soon noticed.

Emma: This is….

It only took a moment for her cheerful expression to be replaced with fear.

Emma is a normal thinker, despite the fact that she is engaged to the big villain.

To be afraid of a bloody man never meant that she’s to crumble.

I was relieved about that.

Gilbert: Don't worry, okay? It's all blood.

Emma: I…see.

Gilbert: I normally do better than that.

(It was not good to use a sword unusually.)

Emma started to move after being frozen for quite a while.

Seeing her walking towards me, I restrained my hands.

Gilbert: Stay away. I don't want to dirty you.

Emma:….

Gilbert: Ah, I don't feel well, so I’ll go ahead and take a bath.

I turned my back on Emma without looking at her.

When I took off my blood-soaked military uniform, I heard the sound of the door closing behind me.

Gilbert: Oh no, little rabbit, how shameless of you.

Emma: I just thought you might need a change of clothes!

True to her words, she was holding a black shirt in her hand.

(Despite you’re scared, you’re such a worrywart.)

Emma hasn't left, even after placing down my shirt.

Gilbert: Would you like to join me?

Emma: No——

At first, Emma shook her head but then stopped as if she had a second thought.

Emma:….No, I feel like I would bother you.

Gilbert:……

Emma: But…now I think G-Gil wanted me to join.

Gilbert: Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually nod.

Gilbert: You're shy about these things, aren't you?

Emma:…I thought it would be nice to do this once in a while.

(I don't know what kind of circumstances that is.)

Emma seemed to be serious and the two of us soaked in the bathtub.

The aristocrats, who were still terribly corrupt, gradually faded from my mind.

Gilbert: Hey, do you still smell the blood?

Emma: Not really.

Gilbert: If you say so.

When I hugged Emma, who was at a perfect distance from me, the scent of soap tickled my nose.

It's strange that even though the soap she used is the same, it feels sweeter with Emma.

When I buried my face in her skin to feel her scent more closely, she did not resist at all.

Gilbert: Weren't you scared just a minute ago?

Emma: Yes. …I still fear Gil from time to time.

Gilbert: You've opened up.

(Far better than being lied to.)

Emma: But I don't want to be scared.

Emma:….The more scared I get, the more it hurts Gil. // The more scared I was, the more hurt Gil looked.

Gilbert: What, that's new to me.

(I don't remember being hurt.)

Emma: Then again, maybe it's just my imagination…..

Emma:…Do you remember? The day when we played the test of courage at Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Of course, how could I forget?

(I got jealous because you were scared of ghosts.)

It brings back memories of when I mistreated Emma because I was uncomfortable with the idea of someone other than myself scaring her.

Emma: It was like Gil seemed to lookout for me, even though he was scaring me.

Emma: With a worried face, all the time….

Gilbert:…..

Emma:….I've been thinking since that day that I wanted to accept your scary side.

(If that were true, it would be too pathetic.) // (If that were true, she’s too pitiful.)

I thought I was good at faking facial expressions, even though I didn't want to lie.

However, it seems that I had become defenseless in front of Emma.

Emma: I don't think there's anyone with a more complicated and mysterious mind than Gil.

Gilbert: Ahaha, is that a compliment?

Emma:…I wish you were a little easier to understand.

Emma: It’s just….

Emma turns around and pecks me on the lips playfully.

Emma: Don't you dare scare me, my heart is already full of Gil.

Gilbert:…Hmm?

(I can't believe you were aware of all that.)

In front of Emma, everything may become irreproachable.

Gilbert: So, you want me to fill you up more?

When I bite her lightly in return, Emma accepts a deep kiss while the hot water swayed.

The more we entwined our tongues, the more we sweated on a midsummer night.

It's hot, yet I can't stop.

(I feel dizzy….)

I rubbed between her legs and Emma pulled her face away.

Emma: Not in a place like this…..

Gilbert: It's impossible to take a bath and do nothing.

Having her legs spread open and I stroked her heat with my fingers.

Gilbert: You were really hoping for it too.

I gathered enough of her nectar to make a clear difference even in the hot water and displayed it in front of Emma’s eyes.

Emma turned her head away from my stringed/soaked fingers.

Emma:…Gil is more troublesome than the ghosts of that day.

Gilbert: Of course.

As I plunged one more finger inside her and reached her sensitive spot.

Emma shivered as the water splashed, and her sweet voice made the air in the bathroom hotter.

Still tormenting her without removing my fingers, Emma shook her head, saying that she is at her limit.

Gilbert: Hehe, I won’t stop.

I couldn't suppress a wicked smile as Emma’s body trembled violently.

(I'll make sure you know there's nothing scarier than me.)

(….I'm the only one you'll ever remember.)

▸ [ previous ]

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri jp #ikepri translations #ikemen series #cybird #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri gilbert

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corazondebeskar-reads · 6 months

Text

well it's love, make it hurt - chapter seventeen

well it's love, make it hurt series

seventeen: it's you I can't deny

series masterlist | prev chapter | epilogue

dom!Din Djarin x sub!f!reader

Words: 4.7k

Summary: You and Din learn to know each other again.

Warnings: bdsm, d/s dynamics, enthusiastic consent, preestablished safeword etc, dom!din djarin x sub!reader, soft din djarin, din djarin is a good dad, long distance relationship, vaginal sex, oral (m & f receiving), communication, angst, major life decisions, author plays god with the timelines (sorry), canon adjacent?, canon divergence?, no use of y/n

a/n: my friends, this is the end. the epilogue will be posted on December 18.

i love you, and thank you for spending time with these two. it means more to me than you'll ever know.

also um just bear with me about what I've done to the canon timeline. it's only a little wonky.

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

9 ABY - Fall

Despite his intentions, you don’t talk every day. It’s just not feasible. And maybe nights pass when you’re already asleep when he calls, but if it happens, he doesn’t mention it. You think he’s still afraid to scare you.

What scares you is how much you wouldn’t mind, and even that isn’t so frightening these days. This is easy, far easier than having to be stuck in hyperspace while you learn how to know him again.

When you ask him to tell you the story of how the kid became more than a bounty, you can hear the smile in his agreement. Can hear how glad he is that you want to talk to him, that you want to know.

He tells you the whole thing, and another night, he tells you about the Purge.

You didn’t ask about that one, could never have. It’s an awful, agonizing story, and it leaves you raw. But it feels important that he shared it with you, allowed you to take on some of his pain, and bear witness to his sorrow.

One night, after a few of radio silence, he calls to tell you he’s in a town on Tatooine. There’s a sick anger in his voice as he describes the man who was not a Mandalorian and the agreement they made.

“Should have just killed him and taken it,” you grumble.

“I think he might be a good man,” Din admits.

It’s high praise, you think, coming from him. He might be the only good man you’ve ever met.

He promises to call after, and you don’t worry, even when several days go by.

You don’t.

The way your body feels warm for the first time in days when he finally calls has nothing to do with it.

You roll your eyes at his story, of how Vanth almost ruined the whole thing by refusing the Tuskens’ drink, of how he blows off defeating a krayt dragon as something simple. It surely wouldn’t have been without him, from the sounds of it.

Later, when he tells you the full story, you take back all of the compliments you had given his strategy and competency. (But you forgive him. He wasn’t wrong, really. You weren’t ready to hear it then.)

9 ABY - Winter

You tell him the things you held close before. The things you kept stitched up, that you thought would make you more of a person than an idea, if he knew them.

Some of them were the building blocks you knew would betray you—the day your parents died. The first time you sucked cock for food. Your first kill.

Stories you’d never shared and tried your best to forget.

Moreso, though, you try to share the little things. The things that you wouldn’t have had to share before when you lived your days side by side.

You bitch about bounties.

You gossip about your neighbor Moshi’s on-again-off-again relationship with the Rodian couple down the street (they’re on again right now—you know because you get a lot less sleep lately).

You tell him how you went to the market for new shoes and came back with a little gorg-shaped instrument that makes croaking sounds for the kid instead.

(“How loud is it?” he asks, with no small amount of apprehension. “Loud,” you tell him with a grin.)

He sulks a little the next time he calls. He wanted to see you before moving on, but the next lead was time-sensitive and drawn out.

“That’s too bad,” you say, voice soft and low.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” He almost restrains the hope in his voice.

You’d laugh, but you’re honestly a little nervous. But it’s easier to say this than any of the other things haunting your mind during those sleepless nights. “Oh, I don’t know. Been thinking a lot about having your cock in my mouth again.”

There’s a strangled groan from the other side of the comm. “Cyar’ika,” he warns.

“You don’t want me to get on my knees for you?”

“I do, but I can’t talk about this right now.”

“You don’t have to talk,” you say. “You can just listen.”

In the end, he has to lock himself in the fresher. When he can’t help but cum, you think you might understand why he likes to have power over you.

He does promise to get you back for it, though. If it’s supposed to be a threat, it’s not a very effective one.

But Din being Din, he throws you off balance. “Don’t you dare touch yourself until I get there,” he says after. “If—if that’s still alright.”

A shudder runs through you. “Yes, sir,” you whisper. It aches in your throat on the way out, but you’re not afraid.

He means to tease you next time. Instead, you know something’s wrong as soon as he calls.

He deflects. He’s not ready to think about it, about Bo-Katan Kryze and what she had said about his people. You let him change the subject without pushing it, but he knows you’re not happy about it.

And he knows that not knowing will be worse for you. That you’ll think he just doesn’t want to talk to you. That you’ll simply shut him back out.

So he tells you. He tells you how angry he is at them for their disrespect. “It’s got to do with why our people were so divided before,” he admits. “I can accept that they have different beliefs about what it means to be a Mandalorian. But—”

“But they didn’t have to be such bitches about it! She straight up said ‘cult’?”

He laughs. Your righteous indignance soothes his anger. “You going to fight her for me, sweetheart?”

“What, you don’t think I could take her?”

“Well, she’s got head-to-toe beskar.”

“But she takes the helmet off, so all ll I have to do is punch her in the face.”

He can’t help but laugh again, grinning foolishly in the empty hull of the Crest.

“You know, you’re being pretty rude to someone ready to fight a trained warrior for disrespecting you.”

“I’m not. I just—thank you.”

“You’ve lost it.” You roll your eyes when he just laughs again.

“I might have,” he admits when he’s settled down. It wasn’t really funny, after all. But the abrupt switch from betrayed fury to the overwhelming affection made him feel happier than he had in a long time.

“Hey,” he says, suddenly soft and serious.

“What?”

“I miss you.” It was the first time he had said anything of the sort on these calls. But the danger of setting off your alarms, of causing you to run, seemed so much less these days.

You’re quiet for a moment. You let the feeling sink in and breathe through it. It’s okay, you remind yourself, it’s not a dangerous thing. He’s not asking you to run away with him.

He’s not asking you for anything.

“Yeah, I miss you, too,” you say. You’re quiet, like it’s a secret, and you guess it kind of was. A secret you’ve spilled now, and can’t just wash away.

He doesn’t know what to say. He said it because he wanted you to hear it, not because he ever imagined you’d admit it, too.

But he doesn’t have to figure it out. You surprise him again, and ask, “How far is Corvus?”

“From Batuu? I’m not sure. I’ll look it up later.”

“No, I meant from you, like how long until you get there.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not going there first. I’m coming to you.”

“Are you sure? Don’t delay your mission just because I—”

“I’m not delaying it because you miss me. I’m delaying it because there’s time and I miss you. The nav was set before I called.”

You meet him at the docking bay. Well, you time your dinner around his estimated arrival, but it’s basically the same thing. A compromise you made with yourself.

Rather than waiting there, feeling stupid in public, or waiting in your apartment, still feeling stupid but alone, you’d just get something to eat. Still, you can’t help but watch out for the Crest on the horizon. When you spot it, the nausea you’ve been fighting in the four days since he told you he was coming returns tenfold.

It doesn’t take him long to find you, sliding into the seat beside you. It’s all very smooth, the way he wraps an arm around your waist and presses his helmet briefly to your forehead.

You flush and try to focus on your tip yip and grains.

“You know,” he says, letting you go so you can eat. “If you want to fight people for disrespecting me, start with the di’kut trying to pass that stew off as Mandalorian. It’s a joke.”

You cover your mouth when you laugh so you don’t drop rice all over. “Oh, I know. I told him there was no way it was really Mandalorian. It was edible. My face didn’t even come close to melting off.”

He shakes his head, bumping his shoulder against yours. “It’s not my fault you can’t handle it.”

“Maybe you’re just a bad cook.”

“You never complained about anything else I made.”

“Well, yeah, almost anything’s better than ration packs.”

“It’s supposed to hurt,” he insists. “That’s what makes it tiingilar. It can’t be called tiingilar if it doesn’t make your sinuses burn.”

You grin up at him, eyes bright, before the look falls abruptly off your face, and you turn back to your food.

He’s not sure what he’s done.

But you take a minute, take a breath, and swallow down the terror. “Sorry, I got a little overwhelmed. It’s still weird, you know. To see you,” is what you finally say.

“It’s okay.”

From anyone else, you’d bristle at the platitude, but from Din… well, you know he means it. It really is just okay. You set down your spork. “He asleep?” You nod at the closed pram.

“Yeah, just fell asleep before we landed. Should be out for a while.”

Another grin creeps across your face, sly and pleased. “So, we’ve got a few hours?”

His fingers twitch into fists for a moment. “You, um. Are you done eating?”

You laugh, standing up and closing the lid of the takeout box. By the time he stands, you’re walking down the road. “You coming or what?”

He catches up with you easily, the pram trailing silently behind. “You first,” he promises, taking your free hand in his.

After he parks the pram in the living room, he stops and studies you, head tilted. “We don’t have to,” he starts. “I didn’t—I want to spend time with you, it doesn’t—”

“Din,” your voice is soft as you approach him, winding your arms around his neck. “I don’t think you’ve been talking to me practically every night for months, all just to get your dick wet.”

“I don’t want to screw this up.”

You don’t know what to say, so you pull down on his neck until he leans forward. You press your forehead to his helmet.

His hands find your waist and hold tight. For a moment, you find peace in the solidity of him after only having his voice for so long.

His embrace feels like coming home.

After several reassurances that yes, you did want this, he finally beckoned you to your bedroom without a sound. You found yourself knelt between his thighs at the end of the bed, moving on instinct with him and reading his intent in the line of his body.

“Open,” he says, voice soft but firm.

You obey. The command has you a little dizzy, and how is this so easy? So easy to slip right back into your place at his feet, so easy to just listen.

“Oh, cyar’ika,” he lifts your chin with two gloved fingers, “You want to be so good for me, don’t you?” He’s close enough like this that you can hear the way he croons, voice velvet beneath the crackle of the helmet.

You give a small nod, not wanting to knock his hand away. He rewards you by sliding it up to cup your cheek in his palm. You waver, but don’t melt completely, not yet.

“I know,” he says, running his thumb over your tongue. The glove is rough and metallic, and you whimper with the effort of keeping your jaw stretched open, aching to take whatever he’ll let you. He chuckles, shoving it further into your mouth.

“Go on then,” he says with a slight tip of his helmet. Immediately, you wrap your lips around his thumb, gently licking and sucking on the coarse tip, pushing it deeper so you can reach the leather at his knuckle.

“That’s it. You feel better already?”

You groan around your mouthful, eyes falling shut. He shifts his grip on your chin to the other hand in order to thrust the digit deeper, brushing against the roof of your mouth. It tickles in the worst way, and you attempt to choke down the cough by swallowing more of him. He pulls his thumb from your mouth.

Your heart sinks, but the whine that sneaks out is muffled by two long fingers, two long, bare fingers that are unceremoniously shoved down your throat. He curls them a little, pressing down on the back of your tongue, and lets out a soft groan when you fight the urge to gag by swallowing hard, the soft walls clenching around his fingers.

“There you go,” he whispers, bringing the other hand—now also bared—to hold the side of your face. Between the feeling of his skin against your cheek and the salty taste of his fingers on your tongue, you don’t even notice as you start to slip. Eyes fluttering shut. Drool leaking between his fingers from your stretched lips. He continues to murmur, but you hear little beyond the rumble of his voice.

He taps his hand lightly against your cheek, just firm enough to be on the sharp side. You blink, taking in the way he’s leaning back, head cocked to the side. He pulls the fingers out of your mouth and just sits there for a second.

Oh kriff. He asked you something. “Um,” and your voice creaks a little, “what?”

He shakes his head, neither cruel nor dismissive. “Cyar’ika,” the baritone is a notch lower, “I need you to stay with me for now.” His thumb rubs circles on your cheek. “I’ll help you down when we’re ready.”

“Okay,” you say, little more than a whisper.

“What do you say?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” His cock throbs a little when a shudder runs through you at the praise.

He can’t wait any longer. He doesn’t think you can, either. You're staring at the line of his cock through his flightsuit.

Despite his urgency, he moves slowly, making sure you’re following his hands as they rub over his length through the fabric. He chokes back a moan and is rewarded for his silence by hearing yours.

Your mouth is still open. Waiting. Your hands are on your knees, fingernails digging in through your trousers.

He pulls his cock out, and you whimper, but don’t falter. “Look at you,” he murmurs, holding himself in one hand and your chin in the other.

He doesn’t make you wait longer, can’t. He holds you in place, groaning as he settles himself on your tongue.

You moan at the taste, and he takes the opportunity to grab your hair and thrust in. You gag but don’t tap out, instead pushing forward to take him deeper.

“Fuck,” he moans, already panting with the effort to hold back. He tries to hold still, to let you take what you need from him. He can feel the way you’re still trying to pay penance for a sin he doesn’t think you’ve committed. He doesn’t like it, but it’s less desperate than when you begged him to hurt you for it, so he lets you offer yourself this way. It’s safer, controlled.

And he can’t say he’s not enjoying being the focus of your worship.

You think fleetingly of him asking you to stay present, and grab at his hand while you drool around his cock. With his fingers in your grasp, you tug a little and whine, throat fluttering around him.

“Go ahead, ner kar’ta,” he says, clasping your hand in his and stroking the other through your hair. “I’ve got you.”

So when you start feeling like you’ll float away, you let it happen. Your mind quiets in the way only he has ever helped you achieve, and with his hands tethering you, you give yourself to him completely.

He fucks into your mouth roughly, now. You take everything he gives, and more, still licking and sucking when he allows. When he abruptly pulls out, you whine but don’t move, swaying a little where you kneel, eyes closed.

“Up, cyar’ika,” he says, and helps you climb onto the bed. You peer up at him as he arranges you how he wants, arms above your head with your hands clasped, knees bent and spread wide at the end of the mattress.

He turns the light off.

“Oh, fuck,” you whisper.

The hiss of his helmet follows. Your window is closed, curtains drawn, and no light sneaks into the room. His hands find your thighs and squeeze, reassuring you of his closeness, and giving you warning as he sinks to his knees and licks from your cunt to your clit with no hesitation.

His hands slide down to hold you open, and it doesn’t take long before you’re begging. You had already been soaked from sucking his cock, anyway.

He pulls back minutely. “I don’t know, cyare, you weren’t very nice, teasing me the other night.”

“Please, sir, I’m sorry,” you cry.

His thumb flicks at your clit. “I’m just teasing you, pretty girl. Cum all you want tonight. I’ve got five years' worth to collect.”

And who the fuck just says things like that? But you don’t consider it long, because the second his tongue is back on you, you cum, crying his name.

It sounds just as irresistible as he imagined. He’s already starving, but it makes him ravenous.

He pulls two more orgasms from you before he stands up and sheathes his cock in your warm cunt, swearing as you bear down around him, pulling him in.

“Such a good girl,” he bends over you, your legs around his waist, and presses his lips to every inch of your skin that he can reach. His teeth catch on the line of your neck and the curve of your breast before capturing your bottom lip, pulling you open for him to push inside your mouth. He consumes without restraint, gorging himself on your moans and cries.

When he buries himself as deep as possible and cums, you join him, enveloping him in the heat of your release. He stays rooted inside you, looming over you, as you shake and start to cry.

It’s wrong, though.

It doesn’t feel like the way you used to crack open under his fingers and let him carve out all your distress. It’s not a burst of catharsis or a moment of blossoming under the deluge.

“Cyar’ika,” he cups your cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” you plead between sobs that wrack your whole body. “I’m sorry. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.”

He carefully extracts himself and lays beside you, gathering you into his chest. “It’s okay. I understand,” he says, even though he thinks maybe something inside him isn’t going to survive this.

You don’t hold him back, arms folded into the space between you. But you do bury your face into him and sob until you can breathe again.

“Din,” you whimper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Can you tell me why?” he asks. He presses a kiss into your hair, though he knows he shouldn’t, not now.

You let out a shaky sigh that threatens to crack into a new round of cries. You shouldn’t let him; you should stop him, but the sobs get stuck in your throat and fade when he kisses you.

It gives you the nerve to speak. “I love you.”

He freezes, baffled. “What?”

“I love you, Din. I thought I could ignore everything and be happy with whatever you could give me, but I can’t do it again. I can’t.” You also can’t stop talking, now that you’re finally admitting it all to him and to yourself. “There’s no place for me in your life, and I just. I’m not doing that to myself. I can’t watch you leave again.”

“So come with me,” he whispers, both your hands clasped in his. It’s still flawlessly dark, but he has his sweaty forehead against yours, and you can feel the curve of his nose with your own. He steals a kiss. “Please, cyare.”

“My whole life is here,” you tell him again, but it feels like a lie with the way your lips chase his for more. Your apartment is here. Your possessions are here. But there wasn’t anything you couldn’t walk away from. That wasn’t really the issue.

“So keep it. Keep the apartment, the connections. We’ll come back after.”

“Din, I—” you try again. The words are scrambling to leave you, only restrained by the horrible anxiety of having to hear the truth spoken aloud.

“Tell me exactly what you’re afraid of, cyare. I can help. We’ve always been stronger together.”

“What happens after?”

“After what?”

“I don’t know. After. When you go home, and I can’t go with you. I can’t do the same thing again, Din; I’m not made for it. Not for what you’re asking me to give in between.” It wouldn’t—couldn’t be casual, this time. Not with the way his love for you has survived the last five years. And if you’re really honest, not with the way your love for him has survived, too.

It’s a petrifying thought. Except it isn’t quite. Not anymore. Maybe it’s why you’re confident in these boundaries, ready to admit you aren’t capable of the same untethered companionship. You’ve loved and lost him enough to know it has to be all or nothing.

And he can’t give you all. So it has to be nothing.

His shaky breath floods across your lips. “What if you could go with me?”

You sit back a little, but don’t pull your hands from his. His thumb is tapping against your knuckle. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m putting any pressure on you. I just want to—it’s just an option, okay?”

“What’s an option, Din? You’re making me nervous.”

He takes another deep breath with a slow exhale. “I think I’ve told you before, but being a Mandalorian is a Creed. A choice. There are no rules about who can or can’t swear it, as long as they’re committed.” He pauses, and when you don’t react, he adds, “and you can walk away at any time. It doesn’t have to be until death. You just can’t come back if you leave.”

You do let go of his hands, now. Not because you’re pulling away from him, but because what you think he’s trying to say is overwhelming. You bury your face in your palms and try to parse his words.

“I’m sorry, that’s—I shouldn’t ask that much of you.”

You put a finger up and remember that he can’t really see. “Shh, just give me a second, okay?”

You mull the concept around. It seems like such a monumental thought, an idea of incredible ridiculousness.

But really, what would change about your life? You would hunt. You would carry a small arsenal of weapons.

What would you lose? The ability to show your face?

It meant nothing in comparison to what you could gain.

“What if I went through everything, and then you decide you don’t want me?”

“That won’t happen.”

“Din. I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“No, ugh,” you grind your teeth. “I need to know, realistically.”

“Realistically? Then when you kick my ass for it, you’ll be in full beskar, and it’ll be a fair fight.”

You can’t help but laugh, even if it's a weak, shaky thing stolen from your breath.

“Cyar’ika. I have no intention of being apart from you if I can help it. But I promise that if something were to happen, there would still be a place for you with the Mandalorians. We don’t abandon our own.”

It doesn’t quite compute. He knows that. Knows the way that even before your parents died, there was no one else. Everyone always willing to cut you open and take. But, if you do this, you’ll learn.

And he wants so badly to give that to you. A family. One way or another.

He takes advantage of your silence, rolling onto his back and pulling you against him, tucked into his arm, where you should be. He kisses your hair and rubs a hand over your back, nails gliding gently over your shoulder blades. Every touch you let him steal while you think over his proposition gives him hope.

You’re not running. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

But you don’t answer him that night. Instead, you let yourself be lulled to sleep by his warm body and soothing motions. He takes it as a good sign when you drift off.

The kid wakes first in the morning. It’s for the best, since he forgot to put his helmet back on when he fell asleep. Din regretfully slips out of bed, tucking you in. He helps himself to your kitchen and starts a pot of caf before working up a breakfast.

He’s frying eggs when he hears you up and moving around the bedroom. He keeps to his cooking, trying to temper his expectations by reminding himself that you very well may slip out the window.

But you don’t. You come out of the bedroom and sit on one of the metal stools tucked under your countertop.

“Good morning, cutie,” you say to the baby, who is sitting in your sink with the faucet running, filling a bowl, and dumping it out over and over. The drain is open, making sure no water accumulates, and he seems fascinated by the flow. He abandons it, however, when he sees you, cooing and reaching his hands out to you.

“I don’t know, buddy; let me grab a towel first.”

Din tosses you one from your drawer without breaking away from his task.

“Look at that,” you tell the baby. “Like magic.”

Din snorts under the helmet. If only you knew.

Actually, he thinks, he should probably tell you.

But later. When he’s not struggling to keep focus, pretending like his hands aren’t shaking, like he’s not waiting while you hold his heart in your palms and decide what to do with it.

While you dry the kid off and let him climb on your shoulders and head, he plates the meal, setting his own aside.

The kid lunges for the plate, but you catch him. “No way, it’s still hot. Be patient,” you tell him.

Din catches himself staring right as you do.

“What?” you say.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head and pries the kid off you, untangling his little claws from your sleep-addled braid so you can eat in peace.

You thank him quietly when he sets the plate in front of you, and you start to eat, though you mostly just push the food around with your fork.

“Did you mean it?” you ask finally.

“Completely.” His voice is thick and heavy with hope.

“You want me to become a Mandalorian.”

It’s not a question, but he answers it anyway. “Yes. I want you to come home with me. I want to be by your side, always, if you’ll have me.”

You hum, falling back into thought, and eat your breakfast. When you’ve finished, you push the plate away and stand up. “I’m going to get dressed. Let me know when you’re done eating.”

He knocks on your door ten minutes later, having taken an extra few minutes to wash the dishes. When you open it, you’re in one of your go-to hunting outfits, and your pack is strapped to your back.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely. Take me home, Din.”

*title from "My Blue Heaven" by Taking Back Sunday

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian fic #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #mando x you #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian smut #dom din djarin #make it hurt verse

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euphoniumpets · 1 year

Text

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER SEVEN

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Warnings: Violence, blood and gore.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

Taglist: @lyria-skyfall@khaleesihavilliard@shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118 @xceafh@peakyispunk @wilmasvensson @parbatai-winchester @priincehoseok@riot-in-my-soulsoul @feyredarling92 @vendy021 @ssprayberrythings @goldenpoison @shine101 @lili-of-the-dream @xushisuxi @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @jennylil @themermaidscales82

Tag list are closed!

A/N: we've come to a conclusion or a thought where I decide to write smut further in the chapters but i need y'all votes because i'm hesitant if you guys want smut further in the chapters lmao. and again, this is a long chapter because i got carried away.

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

You hated it.

Oh, so you desperately hated it.

You could feel every person in the room giving you looks and you didn’t know if it was a good one or a bad one. ‘’Why must you always play the diplomat, Nikolai?’’ You heard Vasily's question at the table. ‘’A shu and Grisha dining beside true Ravkan soldiers is a bit much for all our stomachs,’’ Vasily remarked.

‘’We’re all Ravkan here,’’ You sneered and tried to be calm. ‘’Doesn’t need to be us versus them,’’ Nikolai replied and looked at his brother. ‘’Kirigian should’ve thought of that,’’ Vasily replied with his drink in hand. ‘’Before he tried to murder my father and stage a coup, that said: absent they're Darkling the Grisha are rather easy to manage,’’

‘’By manage do you mean execute: Moi tsarevich?’’ You asked boldly and turned your head to face him. ‘’That fate is reserved for traitors to the Crown, Miss Starkov,’’

‘’If the second Army requires a leader loyal to the Crown to assure their fealty, my sister will lead them,’’ You remarked. You looked at Vasily as he let out a laugh. ‘’Why should I believe you and your sister that you have any loyalty to my family?’’ He asked. You paused before your eyes trailed to Nikolai.

He met your gaze before standing up from his chair and raising a glass to get the people’s attention. ‘’Today marks the start of a new era of cooperation between Lantsov and Grisha, I’m delighted to announce my engagement to Y/N Starkov, the sister of the Sun Summoner,’’ Nikolai presented. ‘’And with her sister being the Sun Summoner, she will be the new leader of the Second Army, together we'll build a better future for Ravka,’’

You locked your gaze with Mal and Alina not from far away and saw their surprised gazes. They never thought that you would agree on the marriage but yet here you were. For Ravka.

‘’That was a bit much,’’ You responded after everybody had cheered and Nikolai had sat down.

‘’Understatement is overrated,’’ He replied as you took a sip from your drink.

Alina had left with Tamar and Nadia to go and do some training. They offered to come with but you declined and told them to do some studying of the Firebird. You hoped some of the history books had the answers since you knew that Alina had to kill you to get the third amplifier. You knew that she wasn’t going to do it, but if it was your only plan, you knew that you had to do it on your own.

You heard fast footsteps approaching you in the library. You turned around with a frown and saw Adrik approaching you. ‘’I know, not to be disturbed, but they need you in the war room,’’ Adrik informed and you nodded. You placed the books down and followed after him.

You stopped in your tracks when you noticed David standing with Tolya, Nikolai, Alina, Mal, Tamar, and Adrik when you recognized David. David flickered his eyes when he saw you and waved with the other hand and you noticed that his hands were tied. ‘’Oh, so you know him,’’ Nikolai replied when he noticed your gaze. ‘’He claims to have escaped from a very alive General Kirigian,’’ Nikolai revealed and approached you. You looked at Alina with a concerned gaze. ‘’He gave himself up without a struggle, we found this on him,’’ Nikolai said and handed you over the journal. ‘’He says it’s one of Morozova’s journals,’’ You grabbed the journal as Nikolai turned to face David.

‘’I, for one, am dying to know more, but he insisted to speak with you and Alina,’’ Nikolai said.

‘’Y/N…’’ David began to say and step forward before Tolya stopped him before he could go further. ‘’I know I wronged both of you, please I regret my role in that, I know you have a reason to distrust me, but I have no loyalty to General Kirigian,’’ David spoke.

‘’He survived the Volcra?’’ Alina questioned him. ‘’I’m afraid so,’’ David revealed. ‘’He also knows that you both are in East Ravka,’’ David informed and you could feel your heart growing faster. You didn’t know if he found out that you were the Firebird but if he did he could find you here, you didn’t know if you were safe. ‘’Tell us where he is,’’ You demanded David.

‘’No, no, no,’’ David replied and you narrowed your eyes. ‘’That would be a very bad idea-’’

‘’You can’t expect us to trust you unless you share information,’’ You snapped. ‘’Confronting him would be suicide,’’ David replied. ‘’Kirigian used Merzost to create something in the Fold, creatures that do his bidding the size of two men, formed of pure shadow,’’ He informed as your blood ran cold. ‘’They have no breath to take, no heart to stop, no blood to drain, yet, they live,’’ David explained.

‘’They live and they kill,’’

‘’They are nichevo’ya: nothing: bullets, blades, fire, all simply pass through and they walk freely in sunlight, I fear that merzost may be the only way to kill them,’’ You looked at David and could see that he was terrified. Nikolai glanced at you and he could see the fear you formed in your eyes. ‘’So, how did you manage to get away?’’ Mal questioned.

‘’Genya,’’ You snapped your thoughts away at the mention of Genya. ‘’We tried to escape together but the nichevo’ya,’’ David informed. ‘’She sacrificed herself to get me out,’’ A sadness washed over you for your friend. You knew how much Genya liked David back then at the Little Palace and you begged the saints that she was still alive.

‘’I don’t know if she survived,’’

‘’A smart spy will always play the victim,’’ Tolya spoke and narrowed his eyes. ‘’No, no,’’ David protested and shook his head. ‘’You make a valid point, Tolya,’’ Nikolai responded before he turned to Alina. ‘’As a leader of the second army, this is your call,’’ Nikolai said. Alina looked at Nadia and gestured to come closer next to her. ‘’You’ve known David the longest, what do you think?’’

‘’Kirigian always kept him close,’’ Nadia spoke. Alina looked at you before her eyes placed on David. ‘’Take him to the holding cell,’’ Alina said as Tolya walked away with David. ‘’We need a moment alone, please,’’ Mal said and looked at Nikolai.

Nikolai looked at the three of you as you nodded. ‘’Of course,’’ He replied before walking away, leaving the three of you alone. You let out a sigh. ‘’Do you trust him?’’ Mal asked the two of you.

‘’I don’t know,’’ You answered. ‘’Not entirely,’’ Alina added. ‘’The shadow monsters…’’ Mal trailed off as you thought for a moment. ‘’But why would he lie?’’ You asked them. ‘’Kirigian’s a force to be reckoned with, but if it’s true, I need to hunt the Firebird,’’ Mal responded making you look at him.

‘’Or I can do something right now, an alternative to boost my power,’’ Alina suggested and you looked at her. ‘’Alternative?’’ You asked. ‘’He created soldiers of shadow,’’ Alina said. ‘’Maybe, maybe I can tear down the Fold by creating soldiers of light,’’ Alina informed. ‘’With what? Merzost?’’ You inquired. ‘’The Darkling messed with it and we got the Fold for 400 years,’’

‘’And now he has monsters who walk with him,’’ Alina argued. ‘’Give me time to track down the Firebird,’’ Mal said which made you sigh. ‘’There’s always a cost to merzost, it’s not worth the risk,’’

‘’Hey, you’re coming with us to Ketterdam?’’ You heard Tolya ask you as you approached him, Tolya, and Mal. ‘’You know I can’t, Queen duties,’’ You replied and rolled your eyes. ‘’Not going to lie, we all were surprised that you accepted the proposal,’’ Tamar spoke. ‘’Believe me, we all were,’’ You told her.

‘’Too bad we can’t be here to see you in the dress that Nikolai had chosen,’’ Tamar replied.

‘’Perhaps another time,’’ You responded.

‘’You know it won’t be another time,’’ Tolya teased. ‘’Hey, now that she’s the Queen of Ravka, she’ll have to play dress up,’’ Tamar teased.

‘’And the Queen of Ravka can hear you,’’ You responded as you gave them a look before you looked at them with a grin.

‘’Be careful,’’ You told them before embracing him.

‘’Don’t worry, we will be back,’’ Tolya assured you and let go of you before walking away. ‘’And, don’t forget the snacks you’ll bring back from Shu Han!’’ You exclaimed. ‘’I can’t promise you anything,'' Tolya responded as you chuckled.

You , Mal, and Tamar said goodbye to each other as you walked back to your chambers to prepare for the ball. ‘’I hate this dress,’’ You murmured as you heard Alina chuckle. ‘’You look pretty, he has good taste,’’ Alina commented as you rolled your eyes and looked down at your dress. Nikolai had placed a dress in your room and it was uncomfortable for your liking.

You disliked wearing pretty dresses and it was unusual for Alina to see you in one. ‘’How’s that, moy milaya? better?’’ The maid asked as you reached your arms. However, you couldn’t reach it further. ‘’Still can’t move my arms,’’ You replied softly and looked at her with a smile. ‘’I’ll get another corset,’’ She told you as you nodded.

‘’Ugh, saints,’’ You whined.

‘’It’s not that bad,’’ Alina replied as you turned around and looked at her and gave her a look. ‘’I can’t even breathe,’’ You complained. ‘’Well, I think you look great in that dress, you certainly look a queen,’’ Alina replied with a chuckle. ‘’Help me?’’ You asked and gestured to your back as Alina approached you.

You heard the door open and you turned around to see Vasily. ‘’What do you want?’’ You asked. ‘’My my, Y/N, they never taught you manners did you?’’ Vasily remarked as Alina helped you undress behind the dressing room. You and Alina exchanged a look. You grabbed your coat as you stepped outside and looked at him.

‘’I would prefer you call me Vasily,’’ He responded. ‘’At least when we’re in private,’’ He remarked after he heard you speak in Ravkan. ‘’What can I do for you, Moi Tsarevich?’’ You questioned. ‘’You call my brother by his given name,’’

‘’We met under different circumstances,’’ You explained. ‘’Yes, I’ve heard some find his whole Corsair act rather claiming,’’ He responded with a smirk, and you narrowed your eyes. ‘’If you excuse us-’’

‘’He must realize, no matter his aims, he will always be a second son,’’ He replied, and you looked at him. You felt your anger rise. ‘’Only I can make you a queen,’’ He spoke. ‘’I can assure you I have such no ambition,’’

‘’Is that so?’’ He questioned with a smirk. ‘’You’ve made no secret of your opinion on Grisha, why propose an alliance with me?’’

‘’I stand by my previous statements, the Ravkan people are fed up with being held hostage by Grisha tyrants, odds are some Grisha are good people, you could help me sort that out,’’

‘’Where would you find the time? Rumor has it you find yourself quite preoccupied at Caraveya, between the horse races and the brothels,’’ You replied boldly as you watched him take a step toward you with his jaw clenching. ‘’How many true allies do you have, Miss Starkov?’’ He questioned ‘’Grisha scraps with your sister being the leader of the Second Army, I imagine the Commander of the First would be a good one to keep,’’ He responded and glanced at Alina before looking at you.

‘’You’re a smart girl, consider your options,’’ He replied smugly before grabbing your hand softly and kissing at the top of your palm. ‘’Until then,’’ He spoke before leaving the room. You and Alina exchanged a look before you wiped your hand with disgust written on your face.

You stared at your reflection and looked down at the dress before letting out a scoff. ‘’I take it down that you dislike the dress,’’ You heard Nikolai speak. You glanced up and saw him standing at the door frame with a smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes toward him. ‘’It’s hideous, I prefer wearing a kefta instead,’’ You spoke and turned around to face him. Nikolai chuckled and approached you.

‘’I figured out that you would say so,’’ Nikolai replied before gesturing to the kefta he brought him with. You looked at him before letting out a grin on your face. You accepted the kefta in his hands before walking to the dressing room. You tried to get the dress off but you couldn’t reach the laces and usually, Alina would help you but she was at the party. ‘’I could use some help to undress, usually, Alina would help me but consider that she isn’t here…’’ You trailed off nervously.

‘’Of course,’’ Nikolai replied and walked toward you. You looked in the mirror in front of you and saw him standing behind you. Your heart was beating fast when he was close to you and you could feel his fingers through the laces and you felt your cheeks warming up. You scolded yourself in your head when he was the one who made you flustered.

You felt the laces loosen up as Nikolai met your gaze in the mirror, giving you a small smile before walking out. ‘’Some of the Grisha were kind enough to help and put this together,’’ You heard him speak as you put on the kefta. You smiled and realized that the two of you were matching before walking out. You saw Nikolai look at you with adoration in his expression while you gave a little twirl.

‘’Well?’’ You asked. ‘’I would prefer to see you in one of the keftas instead of the pretty dresses,’’ Nikolai replied with a chuckle. ‘’I think I have just the flourish to complete the look,’’ He told you and approached you closer. ‘’Consider this as a gift,’’

You watched him grab something out of his pocket. You looked down and saw the Lantsov ring in his hand. ‘’The Lantsov Emerald,’’ You spoke and looked down. ‘’Understatement is overrated,’’ You quoted with a small smile. ‘’I love it when you quote me,’’ You just shook your head with a smile in response.

‘’Console yourself knowing that, should you ever punch me while wearing it, you’ll probably take my eye out, and I’d very much like you to,’’ You looked at him. ‘’Wear it, that’s it, not punch me,’’ He explained as the two of you chuckled. ‘’May I?’’ He asked and you nodded. You reached your hand out and felt him grab your hand softly before placing the ringer on. ‘’I must say, this is the longest conversation we have had instead of ripping each other head’s off,’’ You spoke as you heard him laugh softly.

‘’Indeed,’’ He spoke as the two of you walked out of the room. ‘’Your mother will not be pleased you gave this to a commoner,’’ You remarked as you stepped down the stairs. ‘’If my mother was as put off by commoners as she claims, I wouldn’t be here, now would I?’’ Nikolai retorted, making you stop. ‘’If you lead a country, you must get better at hiding what you’re thinking,’’ Nikolai spoke.

‘’I wasn’t sure,’’ You replied as you followed after him. ‘’I heard the whispers since I was a child,’’ He replied. ‘’I’ll deny it if you repeat it, but the truth is, I couldn’t care less if I have Lantsov blood, given all the royal inbreeding, I think the bastard is probably a point in my favor,’’

‘’It’s nice when you drop the act when you’re just yourself,’’ You remarked. ‘’Was that a compliment?’’ He asked with a smirk and you just rolled your eyes. ‘’Besides, I am a prince, Y/N,’’ He remarked. ‘’Being myself is a luxury I can’t often indulge in,’’ He answered.

‘’The throne is just a prize to Vasily, like some favorite toy,’’ You replied softly before turning to face him. ‘’You, however, care about Ravka,’’ You told him, making him smile. ‘’You’d make a good king,’’ You replied. ‘’Coming from you, it means a lot,’’ He murmured and you looked into his eyes. You could see the adoration in his eyes and it made you realize that you’d fallen for him. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him considering the circumstances and you tried hard not to, knowing that your plan would involve sacrificing yourself for Alina. Nikolai met your eyes as he saw sadness flashing through your eyes before changing them.

You hesitantly reached for his hands and he noticed the hesitation on your face before accepting it. Your heart was beating harder when you felt his touch and it was soft-spoken. ‘’You’re going to be insufferable now, aren’t you?’’ You remarked. Nikolai let out a laugh at the comment you made.

The laugh, you thought for yourself. You stared at Nikolai with an unreadable expression on your face. It was the kind of laugh that you would bottle up and get drunk on the darkest nights. ‘’I’m already insufferable, love,’’ Nikolai retorted with a grin on his face. You chuckled as you felt him squeeze your hand before walking out to the room.

You heard the classical music playing in the background while the massive crowd around you was chatting and drinking. ‘’I was not expecting this,’’ Nikolai murmured with the same surprise on his face. You looked around and tried to see Alina and Mal. ‘’Where’s Mal and Alina?’’ You asked him with concern. ‘’I know my company doesn’t account for much, but at least pretend to enjoy yourself,’’ Nikolai spoke.

You gave him a look before scanning the room. ‘’I don’t see them,’’ You began to grow worried and Nikolai sensed it. ‘’Listen, I can assure you that the two of them are fine, maybe the two lovebirds are in a private room and doing saints know what,’’ You wrinkled your face in disgust before looking at him with a deadpanned expression. ‘’I did not want to hear that,’’ You muttered. ‘’After all, that gelatin deer gave its life for your entertainment,’’ Nikolai spoke and leaned to your ear. You turned your gaze and realized that he was so close to your lips and you yanked your head away from him.

Nikolai smirked at your reaction. ‘’It’s not just like them, you know,’’ You murmured. ‘’They would be here with me, and well, watching us while teasing,’’ You remarked. ‘’You can’t fault them for being a little late,’’ Nikolai responded and looked at you. ‘’You can’t be worried about Alina and Mal, they can take care of themselves, you know?’’ Nikolai said and you sighed. ‘’I know, I’m just worried,’’

‘’Perhaps your loyal Sun Summoner and tracker don’t share your enthusiasm for your festivities,’’ You heard Vasily’s voice speak from behind you as you and Nikolai exchanged a look. ‘’If you excuse me, Moi Tsarevich,’’ You spoke as Nikolai nodded at you before you walked away. You sighed with frustration and walked around in the crowd trying to find Alina. However, you spotted Tamar speaking with Nadia. ‘’I guess I owe you the money,’’ You heard Tamar speak when she saw you approaching them.

‘’What?’’ You questioned her.

‘’We were all betting if you would choose the dress,’’ Nadia explained. ‘’Well, I guess you were wrong then,’’ You spoke and looked at Tamar. ‘’Have you seen Alina and Mal?’’ You asked Tamar with concern as Nadia went back for more champagne. ‘’Well-’’

‘’Y/N, have you seen Mal?’’ Alina interrupted you as you turned around. ‘’Saints, Alina, I was looking for you and Mal,’’ You replied before embracing her tightly. ‘’He’s probably late, you know,’’ Tamar spoke as she tried to assure you. You could feel that something was wrong but you tried to ignore the feeling.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Vasily speak. ‘’A toast!’’ You and Alina exchanged a look. ‘’I’d like to share some words about my brother, Nikolai,’’ Vasily spoke and pointed toward Nikolai. You narrowed your eyes. ‘’Yes, yes, we all know he’s pretentious,’’ He spoke and chuckled. ‘’Condescending, a man of the people…’’

You frowned when you felt a strange feeling. You could feel that something was wrong as you looked up at the ceiling glass with wonder. It was the same feeling that you felt when you and Aleksander had connected for the first time back at the Little Palace, but then you saw it.

The shadows. ‘’Alina…’’ You spoke, making her turn to face you with confusion, and then, everything happened so fast that you didn’t have the time to react. ‘’Run!’’ You shouted at Alina when the Nichevo'ya appeared. People were screaming, several gunshots were heard and you hid behind a pole.

You couldn’t think and you were terrified. Terrified of your own life, Nikolai, Mal, and Alina. You gasped when you saw the Nichevo'ya dragged Vasily in the air before tearing him apart. Alina used her magic as she tried to kill them but it was no use. ‘’Somebody, protect the Queen!’’ You heard one of them say. Nadia and Adrik used their powers against the Nichevo'ya and you tried to run toward Alina, however, the Nichevo'ya knocked them away.

‘’Alina!’’ You shouted with fear and you froze in place when the Nichevo'ya turned to you. You widened your eyes as you felt your blood run cold. ‘’Y/N!’’ Alina shouted and you could see her eyes with terror when she saw the Nichevo'ya was coming for you. You felt strong arms wrapping around your waist, dragging away from Alina as Tamar and the others tried to protect her too.

‘’Let me go! Alina!’’ You shouted. ‘’Y/N, we need to go, now!’’ Nikolai raised his voice as he tried to drag you away from there. ‘’Find Mal!’’ You tried to shout before you felt him drag you away from Alina.

please comment down below what you'd thought of this chapter and remember, reblogging always helps!

#shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #alina starkov #jesper fahey #six of crows #malyen oretsev #aleksander kirigan x reader #nina zenik #inej gafha

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snarky-magpie · 1 month

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20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

Thanks for the tag, @fiendishfyre! 1. How many works do you have on A03? 16 published, 9 hidden.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 673,850. I don't have a problem. No sir.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter atm, original, and Voltron (formerly, lol).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. PS. I Hate You. 2. Many Happy Halloweens 3. Catching Crows 4. Call Me By My Name 5. Stealing The Seeker (my first HP fic, yay)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, to every single one unless they're rude (they usually aren't). I spend way too much time online and love to talk about my stories.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None, really. I mostly write HEA. I am planning an MCD fic, but I don't know if I'll find the strength to actually write it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Definitely PS. I Hate You. The epilogue will give you diabetes.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, I'm not famous enough for hate. Most people in the fandom have been lovely. I've only got hate from prongsfoot shippers for saying there's a way to enjoy both jegulus and prongsfoot without hating on the other (ironically). Soured me on the whole ship pretty fast, though.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, but mostly for Voltron. I only have one smutty HP fic. I do love writing it, though, and I've got an explicit jegulus story in the works.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Tried Voltron x Wednesday, and it was a really cool experience, but I gave up due to a lack of readership.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Tried to, with one of my betas. Got as far as two chapters.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Jegulus jegulus jegulus jegulus jegulus (I'm normal about them)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Of Bluebells and Deception. Don't look for it, it's one of the hidden ones.

16. What are your writing strengths? Insert the meme 'you people have strengths?' Dunno. Based on what people say, I'm funny? Yeah, it comes as a shock to me too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Timeline consistency. Please, if you love me, never check if the dates, years, and ages of the characters align. Also, descriptions, and I tend to overdo it with internal monologues.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I write everything in another language since my first language is Czech. It's tough and gives me permanent impostor syndrome.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Voltron: Legendary Defender

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Ironically, my least popular one (by a long shot). Moorland Skies. Tagging: @courfee @thebibutterflyao3 @howmanyfrecklesdoyousee @starlightvld (No pressure, of course!) And whoever else wants to play.

#jegulus #james potter #regulus black #dead gay wizards #the marauders #ao3fic #prongsfoot #fic asks

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teddy-bear-baby · 6 months

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Their Deadly Flower - Twelve

(A/n: Been putting off finishing this story for a while now because I've poured so much time and love into it, but I think it's time to put it to rest. Sadly, I will be finishing this story with around 15 chapters and maybe an epilogue. Hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have. As always enjoy this chapter, my Lovelies and don't forget to leave feedback.)

Pairings: Ghost X GN!Reader, König X GN!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence and torture, angst, slightly crazed reader

Prolog - One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven - Here - Thirteen

Ghost and König agreed on only two things. One, you meant far too much to both of them for this stupid fighting to continue. And two, they were completely and utterly fucked in their current situation.

Both men sat facing each other, bound to chairs and gagged. Their masks had been removed a few hours ago when they were placed into these godforsaken seats. The lack of facial coverings allowed both men a good look at each other’s features as they silently communicated. Using only their eyes and minimal facial expressions they’d begun to slowly devise a plan of escape.

~~~~~

Two days. It’s been two fucking days since anyone has seen Ghost or König and you are in an absolute downward spiral. Your thoughts are consumed with worry and fear. Dreadful images flooding every corner of your mind as the endless possibilities recount themselves to you, for what feels like, the millionth time today.

“Iris?” Soap’s wary voice cuts through the thoughts swirling around your brain. Concern evident in his features as he stares at you. “It’s going to be alright.” He attempts to reassure you as your eyes finally meet across the bare living room of the old house. “They’re going to be alright.”

Gaz nods in agreement with the same cautious concern in his eyes. “We’ll find them and bring them back safely.”

All three of the men standing with you had been trying to calm your nervousness and worry for the past two days. Though they should be a calming force, having been like family to you for so long, nothing they said or did had helped much at all. Not since Price had admitted that Alice had said something odd the night before your two men had been stolen away from you. “I might be here with you, but believe that there are people planning in the background, just waiting for their chance.” You were sure in that moment that Alice’s people had taken something important to you either to prove a point, or to draw you out. To get you to do something reckless, like run headlong into danger to keep those around you safe from wraith that was aimed toward you.

At first Alice’s anger was on the 141 in general for all the trouble we’d given her and her people. But after everything she’d gone through trying to get information out of you for two years, you’re almost certain it’s personal now. A vendetta against you specifically for not only wasting two years of her time but also playing a part in her capture.

“Iris?” Fingers snapping in front of your face cause you to once again jolt from your dreadful thoughts. Price’s fingers to be specific. He stares at you with an understanding glint in his eyes. He’s worried too, though he’s better at keeping calm in most situations. “Come on,” His hand rests flat against your shoulder blade, applying a little pressure as he begins leading you toward the front door. “We’ll get you a drink, calm your mind a bit and go over what we know again. I need you focused if we’re going to get them back.” His voice trails off slightly as though he wanted to add something to the end of that statement but decided not to.

Price’s words have the opposite effect of what they were meant to. If we’re going to get them back? You’d at least expected him to say something like “By the end of the week” or “Anytime soon”. You understand though. In a situation like this, when there’s no clear evidence of where they’ve gone or who had been responsible, there is no guarantee that they’ll return alive. If they return at all.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you step out of the house for the first time in almost four days. The light of the early evening sun burns your retinas and causes you to squint in order to see your surroundings. “Do you really think drinking is a good idea at a time like this?” Your voice comes out strained from the incessant crying you’d done over the past 48 hours. “Ghost and König are out there somewhere, likely being tortured or killed, and here we are going out for drinks.” It felt wrong even if it wasn’t for enjoyment purposes.

“If it gets you to calm down enough for a proper conversation, I’d say it’s more than worth it.” Soap comments from behind you as he closes and locks the rickety door.

You let out another sigh as you climb into the passenger seat of the car they’d come in. You weren’t going to enjoy this one bit. You’d gotten so used to drinking with Ghost sitting across from you, you’re sure you’ll break down more than once.

~~~~~

It doesn’t take long to get to the local pub, which seems more like a nightclub with the music booming in your ears before you even enter the building. The inside is dimly lit, the music getting exponentially louder as you and your three companions push past a few people lingering around the entrance. Your eyes rove over the crowd of bodies bumping and grinding in the center of the large room. A migraine begins to form in your temples as Soap grabs your arm and tugs you behind him through the crowd.

Groaning you allow him to pull you toward a small table in the back corner away from the rest of the patrons. You find it hard to pull your eyes away from the group of people dancing and having a good time, feeling almost envious of how joyful and carefree they are. You wish more than anything that you could be out there dancing and laughing with König while Ghost sits in the corner watching over you. Images of your fantasy flash behind your eyes; König’s bright eyes crinkled at the corners as you dance together a large grin on your own face as you look over to Simon whose eyes have been on you the whole time.

A harsh shaking of your shoulder pulls you from your blissful daydream. Price stares down at you intently with furrowed brows. “Welcome back to reality, care to stay for a while?” His mouth twists into a small sarcastic smile, his mustache curving with his lips as he attempts to lighten the mood a little.

You take a deep inhale, allowing the air to stretch out your tired chest before nodding slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.” Taking in your surroundings once more you realize you’re already sat at the corner table, Soap and Gaz are sitting across from you sipping on pints of amber liquid. “Sorry, I’m trying to separate my emotions from work, I really am but-”

Gaz cuts in and finishes your thought. “But you’ve made a mess of that whole philosophy. We know.” He takes another sip from his glass as he glances around the room.

You grumble a bit as you pick up the pint that had been set in front of you at some point, draining half the glass in seconds. You can only hope it’ll help numb the emotions enough for you to focus on the present moment. You needed to know exactly what the plan was to get your men back. “How the hell are we going to find them?” Your question is followed by silence and brief glances among the four of you as you look for the others to answer.

After a few moments Price speaks up. “Well, the plan was to look for any evidence in the house and hope it’d point us somewhere.” He cocks his head slightly as he idly fiddles with the rim of his glass. “But whoever did it was more prepared than we hoped, left nothing but that handprint. Only thing we can go off of is what Alice said, but that’s not proof of anything.” He sighs and takes a large gulp from his glass, his stress and worry over the situation showing more than before. His composure only slips further the longer you all go without any answers.

You all go over the events of that morning multiple times, each of you proposing different ideas of what could have happened. None of them end up making any sense or giving way to new leads. The only thing that made sense in your mind was that Alice’s people were out for blood or her return, neither of which were comforting thoughts. Either outcome could and would leave good people injured and dead. Ghost and König likely being among the first to succumb to those afflictions.

Your stomach turns, whether from the alcohol, the thoughts, or both, you're not sure. Not that it really matters. What matters is making it to the bathroom before your drink comes rocketing from your throat and all over the table. You jump up from your seat clutching your stomach before rushing toward the restroom. You ignore the concerned looks from your companions as you race through the room, pushing through crowds of people. Bile stings the back of your throat, a sour taste forcing its way onto your taste buds as you slam the restroom door open.

~~~~~

A growl escapes your throat as you deliver another harsh blow to the man’s gut, watching with demented glee as his body tries to fold in on itself. A wheezed breath follows his pained grunt as he tugs against the bindings that hold his wrist to the arms of the old wood chair. “I’m getting tired of the games, Ezekiel.” Your voice flows through the room, bouncing off the cement walls of the basement with a bone chilling sweetness. Your eye twitches slightly as he glares at you through swollen eyelids, that same glare he’d given you just before you’d knocked him unconscious a few hours ago.

Letting out a shaky breath you tear your eyes away from the reflection in the mirror, unable to stare at your tired face any longer. It’s a clear visual of how badly Ghost and König’s disappearance has affected you and it only served to make your mind spiral further.

You make your way quickly out of the restroom and back into the loud, crowded pub. You’re about to move toward the table where your companions are seated when your gaze lands on a pair of eyes that seem all too familiar. One orb is a bright emerald green and the other is a dark, almost black, shade of brown. You don’t recognise the rest of the man’s face. Those eyes, however, they’d be recognisable anywhere. Your mind races as the pieces of this terrible puzzle fall into place.

This man standing only a few paces away from you was present at many of your negotiations with Alice. His all-too-unique eyes give him away even if he’d worn a face covering to every meeting that he’d accompanied her on. You’d done some research into her and the team she worked with to better equip yourself just in case a negotiation went sideways. His name is Ezekiel and he’s known to be one of the more dangerous members of the group.

The only question now is what the hell is he doing here? Not that you had to think too much about it after the thoughts that had plagued you for the past two days. It was glaringly obvious to you now that the theory you’d come up with about Alice was almost certainly true. She’d most likely had this as a backup plan if she was found out. But there was no way for her to have known how important Ghost and König were to you. Unless she had someone, a mole of sorts, watching you and your team.

Before you can think through your actions you’ve stepped up to the man. He’s large, not as large as König, or even Ghost, but he could definitely be lethal based solely on his build. You could handle him though, especially if he’s not as well trained as the members of 141.

His eyes move to your form as you step into his space, a quizzical and almost flirtatious look crossing his features. “Something I can do for you?” His voice is like satin, caressing your eardrums in the most spine tingling way. If he weren’t the enemy, and someone who is more than likely involved in the disappearance of König and Ghost, he’d be a nice catch.

Your mind whirls with visions of ripping his throat out with your teeth before beating him into a mass of blood and bones. You want to tell him off right there, scream at him to give back the two men you hold so precious. You don’t though, knowing it would only cause a scene and give away who you are if he hadn’t put that together already. “You’re eyes,” You manage to force the words out slowly with a small flirtatious smile. “They’re gorgeous.” The words taste like battery acid on your tongue and guilt begins to form in your chest. If you’re lucky you might be able to smooth-talk this guy into leaving with you so you can get some answers out of him.

It really was that easy. You sweet talked your way past the sour taste in your mouth and managed to get into his head. Ezekiel was all-too-desperate to be taking someone home and you were all-too-happy to follow him out to his car.

Wasting no time once the two of you were secluded in his car, you give him a sweet smile. “I would apologize for what comes next, but I have no empathy for scum like you.” You watch his brows furrow as he glares over at you just before your fist makes contact with his temple. He slouches forward against the steering wheel with a soft thump. The only thing left to do now was figure out how to tell your three companions about the reckless move you’d just pulled.

“So tell me, where are my men?” Your voice comes out low, your harsh tone accompanied by a dangerous glare. You stare him down as you slowly circle around him, a predator studying their prey.

Ezekiel lets out a low chuckle, something he’d done multiple times since you started questioning him three hours ago. It was different this time, a hint of nervousness seeping into what was meant to be a sound of mocking. “I’m not tellin’ you shit.” His voice is gruff and strained from the number of blows he’d taken to the abdomen.

It was an answer, not the one you were looking for, but he’d indirectly confirmed that he knows something about Ghost and König. Whether he was directly involved or not, you now know he has some sort of information that could be useful. A relieved feeling settles low in your belly, knowing now that you’re not wasting precious time with this unconventional interrogation.

You grin widely at him as you lean down and look him directly in the eyes, certain you look completely insane at this point. “So you do know something about it.” Excitement and intrigue lace your words as you grip his face hard in your left hand. You watch closely as his expression shifts, his brows furrowing as he realizes he slipped up. “Let’s try this again, hmm?” You straighten yourself to stand at full height as you pull out the switchblade König had given you a few weeks ago. “Perhaps I can persuade you to tell me the truth.” Your eyes linger on the knife in your grasp as you flip it open, admiring the way the blade shines in the dim fluorescent light of the musty basement.

You feel absolutely crazed, finding enjoyment in tormenting this man more than you should. You wanted answers, wanted to find your men and this insect, this pest was keeping you from that. You’re breaking, becoming unstable from the emotional distress of the whole situation. Your mind is slipping, the want to find them giving way to dark thoughts. Thoughts of all the ways you’d enjoy tearing the information from this man’s lips. All the rage you’ve held in over the years is creeping up under your skin, flowing straight to your fingertips as you play with the knife, like lightning to a rod.

Ezekiel’s eyes stare intently at the blade as he appears to consider his options. "So what, either I tell you what I know or you'll kill me?" He asks incredulously, eyes still focused on the sharp blade. "Isn't that against your code of conduct or something?" He's desperately trying to remain calm but the smallest hint of panic has worked its way into his voice, and that sends a thrilled shiver down your spine. “You’ll go to prison for this.”

A small laugh burst from between your lips. "Oh, darling Ezekiel," You coo at him as you place the tip of the blade against the underside of his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes once more. "Do you see a uniform? A badge? Any symbol that would represent a professional bound by some such code?" Your grin widens, a maniacal glint flashing in your eyes as you watch his panic become visible. "No," You shake your head a little while pressing the knife more firmly into his chin. "Not here, not now. You see, right now I am someone looking for something important to me. And you," You pull the knife from his chin and point it directly at his face, enjoying the way his eyes widen as it nearly touches his nose. "You are simply an obstacle standing in my way. Believe me when I say I will dismantle you piece by piece until you give me the information I'm asking for."

Ezekiel's eyes flit rapidly between the blade and your face, a look of contemplation gracing his features. "You won't do it." His voice is shaky and quiet, filled with uncertainty. Whether he’s uncertain of his own words or your willingness to follow through, you’re not sure.

Your head cocks to one side as you move the blade to his cheek, swiping the sharp edge swiftly across the flesh. "Are you willing to bet your life on that?" You ask in a low, menacing tone as you force your eyes away from the streak of red on his cheek, looking to his eyes instead. You find your answer there, in his mismatched orbs. A look of pure horror echoed by the way he flinches away from your gaze. "Good. Now then," You slowly pull the knife away from his blood streaked face, wiping it clean against the leg of your pants. "You have three choices here. I can start with your fingers, I can start with your toes, or you can give me the information I'm asking for."

(Don’t forget to ask about joining the tag-list: @josieguts @strangepuppynightmare @theredviolets @poohkie90 @giulia2372 @fillechatoyante @buckysjuicyplums @running-writing @darkravenqueen98 @bigman101 @birdiiiiiiiiiii)

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

Text

leveling the playing field XV

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 5.7k (omg)

masterlists / nav / requests

a/n: and it all comes down to this… damn. only one more part 🥲. this one was long but so so fun to write and i really hope you enjoy it!! final part and the epilogue are coming soon! oh! and the playlist is here!!

series masterlist // playlist

When you finally make it to the compound, you're grateful that it's almost deserted by the peacekeepers. There were a few around here and there, but from the hole in the fence you were about to enter through, you had a clear shot to where Sejanus was supposedly being held.

Deep breath. I've got to make this quick.

You exhale and start running, light on your feet with a crowbar in hand, either to break the bars or swing at anyone who tries to stop you from freeing him. Crouched down next to the wall now, you peek in the barred window to one of their many interrogation rooms. Nothing. He has to be in one of these, so you slide over against the wall to look in the next window. At least you didn't have to go far.

"Sejanus." You whisper through the open window, seeing that he's alone inside. And he doesn't look good. His face is swollen, cut, and bruised. Clearly, he's been tortured, but hopefully he hadn't given up Coryo.

He looks up, dazed as if he wasn't sure he was really hearing you. "Sejanus." You repeat. "Get up, we have to go. Right now."

Before he responds, you're already attempting to pry the bars apart.

"Y/N?" He says quietly, stumbling to get up as he makes his way over to the window.

"Yeah, it's me." You nod quickly. "Now how were you going to open these bars for that girl? We don't have much time."

"Uh, okay, uh... Give it to me." He says, gesturing for you to hand him the tool, which you quickly slide through the bars. As soon as he takes it you're digging in your bag, pulling out a hammer to see if you can help pull them out with the backend.

He's much stronger than you, so it doesn't take long for him to yank out three of them- just enough for him to fit through. He moves a chair over to help himself climb out, and you pull him the rest of the way, both of you falling back into the dirt.

You're grabbing him as soon as you get your footing, and you're both sprinting for the hole in the fence where you entered, hidden behind the generator shed. You run until you get to the treeline, stopping to catch your breath once you're out of sight. You don't believe anyone saw you. You're home free.

Panting, hands pressed on your knees, you look over at Sejanus who collapsed into the grass, chest heaving from the exertion. His injuries likely didn't help. "We gotta keep going." You breathe, throat stinging.

"Yeah, I know..." He agrees, clearly just as out of breath. He was in better shape than you, but you assume his injuries are no help. "Why did you do it?" He adds, sitting up and pressing a hand to his chest as if that will help slow his heartbeat.

"What?"

"Come save me." He takes a quick, shaky breath. "You could have been caught, they would kill you too."

"I won't bury another friend." You answer, standing up straight again with a shake of your head. It was a stretch to call Arachne, Felix, or the Twins your friends, but they were just about the closest thing you had to it besides him and Coryo. "You didn't do anything worth killing you over."

Sejanus squints at the sun as he breaks a small smile, looking up at you. "Thank you."

"Anytime." You nod, readjusting the bag over your shoulder. "Now, we gotta get out of here. I don't know where we're gonna hide until morning, but...”

"We?" He asks, brow furrowed as he gets up, dusting off his blue peacekeeper jumpsuit.

"Yes." You confirm. "The four of us are gonna go, without anyone else who was there last night."

"Four..." He hums to himself. "Me, you..."

"Lucy Gray and Coriolanus." You nod, finishing the thought for him.

"I... why?"

You sigh, looking past the trees back to the base. "They're looking for the guns that killed Mayfair and Billy Taupe. The mayor is deadset that it was Lucy Gray, but if they find the guns it'll be both her and Coryo who are killed for it. And I... just aided a rebel escape." You explain, smiling a little as you point to yourself. "And released all those birds. My fingerprints are probably all over those cages, that's probably treason."

"You..?" Sejanus asks, shock crossing his features. "You set them free?"

"Yeah." You nod matter-of-factly. "God, it feels so good to tell someone too. I wouldn't have gotten any credit otherwise."

"Why?" He asks, tilting his head at you.

You shrug. "Wanted to piss off Coryo. It worked, didn't it?"

"Kinda..." He gives you a weird look you can't quite decipher.

"Anyway, let's get going. We have to get Lucy Gray."

"Why are we waiting until morning?" He asks, and you can't help but feel it's somewhat of a stupid question. He's also literally a peacekeeper.

"Coryo can't leave until dawn." You explain. "Probably has to spend the rest of the day hunting you down, now..." You say, mulling over the words as they leave your mouth. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to stick around, but you weren't leaving without Coryo. "Actually, why don't you go ahead?"

"I... Well..." He looks back over his shoulder at the camp as it disappears between the trees, both of you walking deeper into the woods to take the long way back to Lucy Gray's meadow.

"When we get to the meadow there's a pretty clear path out to this lake and cabin in the woods. About three hours walk on that knee, you could be there by supper time, spend the night there and we'll meet you there in the morning." You tell him. "No one knows about it spare for the Covey. You'll be safe there tonight."

"Okay. Yeah, that's a better idea." He agrees, following along after you through the woods.

The night couldn't have gone by slower. Curled up under the trees on the far side of the meadow, you and Lucy Gray hardly said a word to one another but you knew neither one of you was sleeping. That was, until just before you had to leave to meet Coryo. You felt a little guilty for waking her up when she had only just fallen asleep, soft snores falling from her lips until you shook her awake.

Groggily, the two of you made your way to the hanging tree, a clearing in the woods near the peacekeepers compound. It was a haunting area, to be certain. You didn't dare say a word, in case the Jabberjays were to make an echo of it.

You sat down behind the tree just before the sun was set to rise, letting Lucy Gray lean her head on your shoulder to try and get a bit more sleep before Coriolanus showed up. But again, that wouldn't be long.

It was a solid half hour, and the sky was in the middle of its slow shift from orange to blue when you heard footsteps approaching. You both stood quickly, backs pressed to the tree. You peak around it, relieved to see it was him.

"Coryo." You whisper, smiling softly and pulling him into a hug.

"Hey, Y/N/N..." He hums, rubbing your back gently. You can still see the sleep in his eyes; at least one of you got some rest.

"Alright." You sigh, turning to face Lucy Gray before gesturing in the direction of the woods. "Lead the way."

She nods, small smile forming on her face as she looks up at your boyfriend. You had to assume that's what he was to you now- friends don't do what you do.

The two of you follow after her for miles, as quickly but as quietly as possible. It's hard to think about the fact that you're leaving your whole life behind, so you just don't. You zone out as your feet crunch through the now familiar underbrush of the woods, thinking of what the future will hold. Not what it will lack.

It'll lack structure, no doubt, but you'll have all the freedom the world has to offer. You don't know where you'll go, but you can't help but daydream about building a cabin out of the woods, maybe by another lake, where you and Coryo could live together forever. Maybe you'd learn how to make new clothes with materials you find, if you could find any, or maybe you would start your garden again and grow all kinds of beautiful natural flowers alongside almost all of your food. Maybe Coriolanus would become a proficient hunter, and all you would have to do is lay in the sun and look pretty, occasionally gathering things from your garden to go with his catch for dinner. Maybe you'd grow raspberries and wild roses.

Maybe you'd have a child. A little boy he could teach how to speak as eloquently as he does, or hunt as successfully as he will. Maybe it'll be a little girl, who he can dote over while you tend to your garden, and teach her songs you learned from the Covey. She'll be a beautiful singer, a beautiful girl with Coryo's blonde hair and blue eyes to die for. Regardless, you can tell your kids about your lives. About home, about where you grew up and what life used to be. About the uncle they have back home but will never meet, and about your friends who you lost. About Arachne, and Felix, and the twins, about the games and about Sejanus who needed saving more often than not and about how you were both full of pride when your tribute won, Lucy Gray.

Lucy Gray.

You're snapped out of your daydreams within a moment. You don't know how long you had been lost in your own mind, imagining a life that doesn't exist, but by now, Coryo was walking a few feet ahead of you with her.

The endearing smile on her face that you can see only when she turns her head to look at him is making you uneasy. She would be there, you won't have to tell your kids about her because she will be there. That's not necessarily a bad thing, Lucy Gray is lovely, and by now you consider her a friend. But maybe she's too lovely. Maybe Coriolanus considers her a friend too, it's clear he does. He has much of a right to as you do, you both saved her life, but mostly him. He pulled the strings, you just helped however you were asked to and more. He decided that her life was worth risking both his and yours to save.

Maybe she meant more to him than you thought. Maybe she is what brought him to Twelve. Maybe, he got to choose and he chose her moments after "choosing" to throw your life away in front of you. He chose her.

"Are you thinking about Sejanus?" She asks, and it's the first bit of their conversation you catch.

"He's fine. Not too injured, he should be waiting at the cabin. I said we'd meet him there." You interject, reminding them of something they already knew.

"I just wish it hadn't come to that." Coryo replies, looking back at you for a fraction of a second before turning back to Lucy Gray. "Sorry, you had to leave this place." He adds after a few moments of silence.

"I'll miss the Covey." She hums, "I hope they'll follow me someday, though." You look at the orange scarf draped over her shoulders, a pit of unease settling uncomfortably just behind your ribs.

"You know what I won't miss? People." Coryo says, and you hum in agreement.

"People aren't so bad. Not really." Lucy Gray shrugs. "It's what the world does to them, like all of us in the arena. I think there's a natural goodness born into us all."

Both of you scoff in practical unison. If you had to guess, it was quite the opposite.

"No, really. You can either... cross that line, into evil... or not. And it's our life's work to stay on the right side of that line."

"It's not always that simple." Coryo replies, looking back at you with something indecipherable behind his stare. Pity? An acknowledgment of your nature being something unworldly in her description? You bite your tongue.

"I know. I'm a victor." Lucy Gray says with a click of her tongue, distaste dripping from her tone. "It sure will be nice to not have to kill anyone else out north though, huh?"

"Two and a half is enough for me." Coryo chuckles, stopping as she continues ahead. You stop with him. "I'm gonna make a walking stick. You want one?" He offers to you, picking up a tree branch from the underbrush.

"I'm fine, thanks." You smile, watching as he tries to brush it off and wincing when he sticks himself on the wood.

"Three? Who's the third?" Lucy Gray asks, turning slowly up ahead.

"You okay?" You ask, ignoring her as he sucks his thumb into his mouth to stop the bleeding you already saw begin.

"What?"

"-Person you killed, Coriolanus. You said you killed three people I only know about two. Do not lie to me." Her voice is harsh. Accusatory. And you don't like it one bit.

"He said two and a half." You chuckle hesitantly, eyeing the girl up and down at her drastic change in attitude. You didn't know who he was talking about either, but you were the one with a hot temper and you wouldn't even react like that.

"Can you help me get this out?" He asks, taking a few steps over to her in effort to distract her from the question.

"Here." You stop him with a gentle hand on his arm. "Let me look..." He stops, looking between the two of you as you take his hand, looking down at the splinter in his thumb.

"There was Bobbin, in the arena, and Mayfair, and who's the third?" Lucy Gray continues, only escalating in her upset over nothing.

Coryo locks eyes with you for a moment, and you raise your eyebrows slightly to try and portray your antipathy with her reaction.

"My old self." He speaks, looking back over at her as you gently try and push the splinter out from under his skin. "I killed him, so I could come with you girls."

"And Sejanus." You giggle, trying to lighten the mood and also distract him from you using your nail to pull the splinter out. It looked painful. "Also, I would say your old self is half of you. Well put."

Lucy Gray clearly wasn't buying it. You could see it in her face as he hissed at you finally getting it out. "There you go." You hum, squeezing his hand gently as it was still cradled in between yours.

"Thank you, Darling." He smiles, pulling back his hand and patting your arm, gesturing to the faded path ahead. "C'mon."

You try your hardest not to glare as you catch up with Lucy Gray, Coryo's arm now rested comfortably over your shoulder.

The rain picked up into a downpour, further softening the ground you were walking on.

"Why don't we stop here at the cabin? Wait out the storm." Coryo suggests as the cabin comes into view up ahead.

"Ugh, please." You agree, already attempting to flatten your soaked hair that is frizzing up from the rain and the humidity.

"We should really keep goin'." Lucy Gray cuts in, making you roll your eyes.

"We're gonna need food on the way." Coryo insists. "Let's catch some fish while we're here." Even if you got to sit in the cabin for a few minutes, it would be well worth it to try and dry off just a bit.

"Sejanus!" You call out as you climb up the steps. "It's us! You okay?" You push open the door, finally feeling like you're able to breathe out of the rain until you realize he's not there. "Sejanus?" You ask, looking around the only corner in the small cabin.

"Not here?" Coryo asks and you shake your head, brow furrowed.

"No..." You hum, peeking out the window. "He must be nearby though. We'll have to wait for him to get back."

"If you wanted fish, there's rods under the floorboards." Lucy Gray says, completely ignoring you and closing the door as she's the last to enter.

Coryo nods, stomping around on the floor to check for which ones were loose. "These ones?"

"Uh-huh." Lucy Gray nods at him, watching as he kneels down to lift the old wooden planks.

"You gonna stay in here, Y/N/N? Dry up a bit?" He asks you and you nod, giving him a small smile. In the corner of your eye you can see Lucy Gray looking at you. She doesn't necessarily look mad, but something is just so... off.

You can't help but wonder if all her negative energy she's putting out is because of you. Not literally, because you remember her being so sweet when you were alone. Is she mad because of you and Coryo? That has to be it. What happened to the girl who helped you write a love song to him and encourage you to sing it?

She helped write it. She was dead set on writing it, actually. You provided the tune and she did most of the rest. You were never much of a poet. She wrote that song to him- you were just the voice she used to tell him. You were a puppet to her, and suddenly your wrists ache from the mere idea that she manipulated you in that way.

The floorboards creak underneath you as you sit down, leaning against the wall. If Lucy Gray was going to be handing out dirty looks, you could too. You lock eyes with her, trying to maintain some semblance of a smile, but you just stare at each other.

Within seconds it's evident that any bit of trust you had for one another is gone. That just won't do if you were running away together. She had to go.

She's the first to cower away from the staring contest, of course, when Coryo stands up again.

"What is it?" She asks him, and as you look, you see he's holding the gun.

You gasp, shooting up from where you had just settled on the ground. "Is that?"

"It's the gun." He answers before you finish your question, an expression of shock and relief embedded in his features.

"The one you fired at Mayfair." Lucy Gray gathers, seeming as she wasn't there. "Spruce must've known about this place." She shrugs, avoiding your gaze completely. "Well, you destroy that gun you're free. You can go back home."

You and Coryo look at each other, unsure what to do or say. He could go back, he was home free. But leaving you with her? And poor Sejanus who was out in the rain somewhere either dead or limping on an almost useless knee? No chance.

"Will you?" She asks.

"No more loose ends..." He nods a little to himself, looking down at the gun in his hands. You poke your tongue into your cheek and look down at the floor. He's actually considering leaving you behind.

"Besides us." You look at Lucy Gray through narrowed eyes as she speaks. What was she trying to imply? You would never do that to him. You figured that was pretty obvious.

"Besides you?" Coryo asks, looking between the two of you. When his eyes land on you he’s more worried, with something more accusatory when they glue on to Lucy Grayverifying your perspective that yes, he knows you would never do that. "You wouldn't tell anyone." He says to her, but it comes out more as a question.

She hesitates before shaking her head with a smile that's so anger inducing you'd like to throw her in the lake and watch her drown. "Course not..." She tops it off with, and you tick your head to the right.

"I mean, it's not like anyone would really believe you." You state. "They're all convinced it was you who pulled the trigger."

"I'm just gonna go dig up some Katniss. There's a good patch down by the lake." She ignores you again. Am I missing something? Am I fucking invisible?

"Thought it was too early for that." Coryo reminds her, and the nervous smile on his face brings you hope that he also knows something is off.

"Well, the world changes awful fast." Even so much as her heavy district accent is driving you up the wall at this point. It's hardly even english.

"Lucy Gray. It's still raining." Coryo pleads with her and you eye the knife in her hand, taking a small step closer to his side.

"Well, I'm not made outta sugar." Lucy Gray says, smiling innocently before turning and walking out, closing the door behind her.

You both stand there in silence for a few moments, him staring at the gun, you staring at him.

"It was Sejanus." He says so quietly you can hardly make it out from under a yard away.

"Huh?"

"I sent a recording of his confession to Dr. Gaul. I was the reason they were going to..." He can't even say it.

"You?" You whisper back. "I... no. That's not your fault."

"It is."

You shake your head, reaching out to gently lower the gun so you can place your hand on his cheek. "It's not, but it doesn't matter anyways because he is out here, with us, and we're gonna be okay. He's gonna be fine, and you're gonna be fine. Yeah?" You assure him, smiling softly as you run your thumb over his cheekbone.

"Yeah..." He mumbles, relaxing under your touch.

"Will you go home?" You ask, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. You really, really didn't want him to leave you out here alone. You wouldn't survive and you knew that.

Coryo looks down at you, shaking his head softly. "No. Not without you. I told you that."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? No, no. Don't be sorry. We're doing the right thing." He promises.

"You think?"

"I know." He smiles. "Don't you trust me?"

"More than anything." You whisper. "But I have one... fear, I guess." You say, rubbing your forearm nervously and looking out the window.

"What is it?"

"Oh, no. It's nothing. I think I'm just being crazy." You chuckle, going over to the window to look out now.

"Y/N, what are you afraid of?" Coryo's tone is serious now, and you have to fight back a smile.

"Well, I was just thinking on the walk out here... Like, what will happen to us, what will we do, you know?" You start, letting the smile slip through at the memory of your daydreams. "I'm thinking we'll build a house out here, a little bigger than this one, but not a whole lot, and I'll have a garden and grow our food and some roses just for you, and we'll just have a happy little life."

The crease of worry in his forehead morphs into one of confusion as he smiles. "What? Then what are you afraid of? That sounds lovely."

"Well... And like I said, I'm sure I'm just being crazy, but Lucy Gray... I just feel like she doesn't want that for us." You say, looking up at him and scanning his face for a reaction.

"Why not?"

"I don't know! That's why it's making me feel crazy because it's so out of character for her but she's been really mean to me all day. Like, I don't know if you've noticed but she's been ignoring me or glaring at me and when she snapped earlier about what you said and I just... Yeah. It's not sitting right with me." You try and wave it off with a nervous smile, but Coryo's eyes are locked on the window, deep in thought.

"Do you think she was using us?" You ask him, when you can see that you're getting in his head. "I mean, from the beginning. She is a performer, after all. Maybe it was all a show, and she didn't want us to come here and she's been waiting for a chance to get rid of us ever since, but now she's stuck with us for the rest of all of our lives. I feel almost... unsafe."

Coryo looks over at you now, eyes cold.

"Okay, and actually, what the hell was that that just happened? She would totally go back and tell them it was you! That was the fakest reaction I have ever seen, and I was friends with Arachne and Clemensia for years!" You laugh bitterly. "Like, who's to say she wouldn't run straight back to town and tell them you shot Mayfair and exactly where to find me? I'm sure my father put out a reward!"

"You're not crazy." He mumbles, joining you at the window with the gun gripped tighter in his hands.

"You don't think so?" You ask, painting on the puppy dog eyes as you look up at him.

"No." Coryo shakes his head slightly, looking through the window to where you both know the katniss patch is, and Lucy Gray is nowhere to be seen.

"...She's been gone for a while." You add for good measure, and he just nods.

"Stay here. Don't come out. I'm gonna get rid of these." He says, picking up the bag of guns and walking out the door.

You huff at the seriousness of his tone and sit back down on the ground, leaning back against the wall. You really wish you had taken a towel from the house or something to attempt at drying your hair or warming your skin, but the only thing you had time to pack in your rush yesterday was those tools and your clothes from home. Most of the backpack was full of that coat Tigris gave you, folded up as small as you could possibly get it at the bottom. It was beautiful, and real, and you could tell it meant something to her so you wouldn't dare use it as a towel. Besides, it probably wouldn't be very effective anyway.

But, the Covey did always come out here to swim, so maybe there was one lying around here somewhere. Under another loose floorboard, or something.

While you're looking, you hear Coriolanus's voice fading as he calls out for Lucy Gray. Clearly, she wasn't at the katniss patch like she said she would be.

Maybe she did run back. She had a solid head start on you guys if she did, and as you scrap your task of looking for a towel to swing the door open, you freeze. Coryo told you to stay, to wait for him to come back. He's got it handled. But does he? Is he just going off to find her and they'll both run off without you?

Screw it. He'll forgive you for not listening later.

You open the door, looking out to see if you can catch a glimpse of his white shirt or blonde buzzcut anywhere, but you can't. "Lucy Gray? If something happened we can talk about it!" You hear his voice fading into the woods.

You take a hatchet from the side of the cabin, and follow the sound of his voice as best as you can, still not wanting to make your presence known.

Until you hear Coriolanus screaming. Pained screaming that makes your stomach turn in fear for his life.

"Coryo!" You break into a run toward the sound, trying to track him down with the axe clutched in your hand.

"Is that poisonous?" He shouts, and while you're absolutely panicking, you're happy to hear that he's not already dead. "Are you trying to kill me?" Much closer now, and you spot him kneeling on the ground a little ways away. "Lucy Gray!" His voice flipped from pained to angry like a switch, but you knew he was already on the brink. You designed it, after all. "I said, are you trying to kill me?!"

"Coryo, Coryo what happened?" You ask, running up and dropping to your knees in front of him as he starts to laugh, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Hey, look at me, what happened?"

He ignores your question, chest heaving as he clutches the scarf in his hands. It was a beautiful, orange silk that was now completely muddy and destroyed from being on the wet, muddy ground.

"Are you hurt?" You ask, dropping the hatchet and reaching for his face instead while he holds the crumpled-up fabric to his face.

"Snake." He chuckles dryly, shaking his head. It turns quickly into his shoulders quaking as he sobbed into the material.

"Hey, okay, okay. Let me see. Let me see it. Where are you bit?" You ask, trying to look him over.

When it's clear you won't get a better answer out of him, you stand up, picking the small tool up again, feeling the shift of the wood as it turns into a weapon in your grip.

"Lucy Gray?" You call out, trying to quell the shakiness of anger into something soothing. "You don't need to hide! Come talk to me. I'm not going to hurt you..."

You stop a few feet away from your friend, looking at the area around you and wishing you could see through the trees. "He didn't mean to scare you, Hun!" You adjust your grip on the wet handle of the weapon sitting heavy in your palm.

"Lucy Gray!" You yell, unable to hide the frustration in your tone as you walk further into the woods. "Did you do it on purpose?!"

A few more steps, and you hear twigs cracking a ways to your right. You quickly look, but see nothing. "Fine, Lucy Gray. If you want to play Hunger Games, we can play Hunger Games..." You settle the hatchet between both hands now, lifting it up to your shoulder as you walk toward the sound. "Don't forget, we survived it too."

"Y/N." You hear Coryo's voice behind you and you turn to look at him. He gives a quick whistle, nodding for you to come back to him as he stands with the gun back in his hands.

You look around quickly again before backing up to meet him halfway. His eyes are bloodshot, and he's breathing heavily. You can see it in the tense rise and fall of his shoulders.

He steps in front of you, nudging you behind him with his elbow as he lifts the gun. A twig snaps a little ways away, and by the time you look past him and catch a glimpse at Lucy Gray's dress between the trees he's already fired the gun.

She yelps, stumbling and falling behind some bushes. You grip the small axe tighter, brushing past him to go to her. To make sure the job is finished.

"Y/N. No." Coryo barks at you, voice stern. "Go back to the cabin, gather our stuff. I'll handle it."

You nod, glancing at him only briefly before following his direction and heading back toward the cabin.

You open the door, sighing with a small smile on your face. "Y/N? What happened? I heard a shot."

You're confronted with Sejanus standing inside now. You just stare at him in your shock. You had completely forgotten about him, Coryo must have as well.

When you don't reply, he speaks again. "I just was looking around to see what direction we should go from here, I came back as soon as I heard it."

Your eyes narrow as you look at him, eyes flitting back and forth while you decide what to say.

"Where's Coryo? And Lucy Gray?"

You glance back over your shoulder out the still open door.

"Y/N..." He mumbles, concern riddling his face. "Did he... did he do something to her?"

The silence that falls in the room is suddenly thick, and heavy, and it changes everything.

"Is she..."

You tighten your hold on the hatchet, shaking any reason out of your head. "No loose ends."

"Loose ends..?" Sejanus asks, taking a step back from you. "I won't- I won't tell anyone, there's no one for me to tell... but you have to understand he's dangerous right now."

"Lucy Gray," You take a step closer, lightly swinging the weapon. "Was plotting against us. You have to understand, he didn't have a choice. So I don't either."

"Y/N, you do." He holds his hands up defensively between the two of you. "You can be better. You don't want to do this, okay? You're just... panicking, and I get that, but let's just talk. Okay? We can sort it out." His voice is shaking now.

You bite into your cheek. "No. You're not one of us. You've made that very clear, Sejanus." You shake your head, raising the axe over your shoulder. "We, are going to have our own house, our own family, and I am going to have my own garden, and I am sick of people trying to stop me." You say through gritted teeth, taking steps closer with every statement.

"Y/N, I won't stop you. We're best friends, I know you don't want-" His panicked pleas are halted as his back hits the wall behind him, and you hear several more shots fire out in the woods. You look back for just a second before snapping your eyes back to your friend.

"Run." You tell him, tossing the hatchet onto the ground a few feet away in a moment of weakness.

"Y/N, I can't leave you out here with him like this. I just-"

"Sejanus, run." You tell him again, taking in the fear and panic on his face.

He nods, and you let him walk past you to the door. He stops, and you both turn to face each other at the same time. As you look at his beat up, sad face, you know you'll never see him again and your eyes start to well up with tears that you quickly blink away.

Before you know it, he's pulling you into a hug. "Thank you," He mumbles as you hesitate to hug him back. "For everything."

"I'm sorry." Is all you can muster up, whispering it as you rest your chin on his shoulder.

He pulls away, patting your shoulders gently. "Your garden will be beautiful." He smiles weakly, voice still shaking as he turns and walks out of your sight. Hopefully, for the last time.

#tbosas #tbosas fic #tbosas x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus x you #coryo x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #thg #thg fanfic #thg series #thg fanfiction

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