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captainsophiestark · 7 months

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Witch's Intuition

Mason Lockwood x Reader

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Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Day 2 Prompt: "Don't worry, I got you."

Summary: What if Mason Lockwood had somebody who cared about him when he came to town, somebody who could keep him from his canon fate? Alternatively, I really love Mason Lockwood and the show didn't do him justice, so I wanted to. Reader is described as a girl.

Word Count: 10,445 lmao

Category: Angst, fluff, humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sighed and stared straight ahead, hands still gripped tight on the steering wheel as I tried to psych myself up to get out of the car and go inside.

Damon Salvatore, my best friend in the entire world despite my better judgement, had asked me to come to a barbecue that Jenna Sommers was hosting. Her connection to Damon was ridiculous and confusing, and the entire barbecue was just a front for Damon and our mutual friend Ric to try to get a feel for the newest supernatural creature in town. And he wanted me here to help.

Mason Lockwood, the newest supernatural in question, had apparently gone to high school with Jenna and had recently returned to Mystic Falls. Damon felt confident he was a werewolf. As a witch, I knew for sure he was a werewolf, but absolutely no part of me wanted to get involved in the supernatural drama by telling him.

I should've known staying out of it would be impossible as long as Damon Salvatore remained my best friend.

At the sound of a knock on my window, I jumped so hard my head hit the roof of my car. I whipped around to find the werewolf I'd been thinking about standing outside my door, looking at me with a grin as he gave a little wave. I mentally cursed myself, then shoved open my door and climbed out.

"Hey," he said, giving me a bright smile that made butterflies explode in my chest. "I didn't realize you were coming to this, too."

Mason and I had met about a week ago at the grill, when he'd come over to the pool table and called winner on my game. I won, and we quickly hit it off the bat over the course of our first game, enough so that we ended up playing two more. He still didn't know I was a witch, and we'd only hung out a handful of times so far, but I still found my heart racing when he looked at me like he was looking at me now.

"Damon dragged me," I replied. "Although, I actually am excited to get to know Jenna a little better. And... others, at this party."

"Others?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. The grin took on a more flirty edge, and I couldn't help my heart speeding up a bit.

"Yeah, others. Other than Ric. I already know him."

"Okay," laughed Mason, fully throwing his head back as we started heading for the house together. "And I guess 'others' doesn't apply to Elena or Caroline either?"

"No, I know them too. I've heard all about the high school angst and then some."

"Did you tell them how much better it gets after graduation?"

"Oh yeah, I covered all the existential dread and challenge of trying to figure out what the hell to do with the rest of our lives."

"Okay good. As long as they know."

Mason and I shared a smile as we reached the door and he opened it for me, motioning for me to go ahead. I smiled, and we held our eye contact a few beats too long to be casual. Damon was going to kill me when he got here.

We quickly found Jenna and Elena in the kitchen, and I chatted with Elena a bit while Mason and Jenna caught up. I'd only gotten to Mystic Falls a little after the Salvatores, having graduated from college three years ago. At first, I'd come back to try to track down and record witch history, since so much of it was based here. But it didn't take me long to get sucked into the bullshit Damon and Stefan had found themselves neck-deep in as soon as I arrived.

For the first time, with Mason, I didn't totally mind it.

Within a few minutes of arrival, Mason decided it was time to go hunting for shot glasses and alcohol. Jenna pointed him in the right direction, and then he turned to me with a lopsided smile that made my heart stop in my chest.

"Come help me?"

"Sure thing."

I followed Mason through the house, leaving Jenna and Elena in the kitchen while we waited for everybody else to show up. He ducked into a closet, and I hovered just outside.

"Let's see here... Jenna's trying to be a responsible adult nowadays, but I bet I can still find where she stashed her old shot glasses..."

"I've spent too long finding cool shot glasses that I like to ever shove them all away in a closet forever," I mused, leaning against the door frame. Mason chuckled.

"I know what you mean. I've got different ones with the patterns of every surfboard I've ever owned."

I nodded. "That's nice, but I've got you beat. I've got supernatural-themed ones. For witches and vampires and werewolves."

Mason paused his searching to turn around and give me an appraising look. I shrugged, giving him a sheepish smile. He shook his head, but to my relief, he was smiling too.

"I should've realized you knew, with you being Damon's friend," he said, turning around to continue searching.

"Hey, I'm a born and raised witch. I knew about the supernatural long before Damon Salvatore ever came into my life, and I recognized what you were before he did too. Vampires have shittier senses than witches."

Mason snorted a laugh, then, pausing his search and half glancing back at me again, asked, "Did you tell him about me?"

"No. Damon can be a little... dramatic. I had no interest in him starting up a fight with my new favorite pool opponent."

Mason nodded, and thankfully, I caught a small smile on his face again.

"...You use some of that magic to cheat at pool?"

"Ha! That's also a no. I'm just a better player than you."

"Or maybe I just let you win," he said, turning to hand me a nice bottle of vodka that he'd dug out of the closet, a grin on his face.

"We can pretend that's what happened if you really want. But we both know the truth."

He sighed, then turned back around to grab the shot glasses he'd finally managed to find, shaking them to show me triumphantly.

"I guess we're just gonna have to go back to the Grill soon so you can teach me your ways."

"...It's a date."

Mason grinned and shot me a wink, then led me back through the house to the kitchen to rejoin Jenna and Elena. Elena, understandably, left when we started doing shots, and it wasn't much longer before Ric and Damon showed up. Jenna hated Damon, and after a few moments, Damon made it clear he wasn't going to be particularly friendly to Mason. I tried to ease the tension, but clearly, this barbecue wasn't going to be as fun and relaxing as the first ten minutes had been.

It didn't help that, every time I shared a moment with Mason, judgement absolutely radiated off of Damon. Lucky for me, I'd had a few years of practice ignoring those looks from him.

He'd told me today was a fact-finding mission, after all. And I was finding facts that pointed me towards liking Mason.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't take that long to set up Guitar Hero-"

"I will leave the party, Jenna," teased Mason, shooting her a smile as he plopped down on a loveseat in the living room next to me. "What else do we have? And by that, I mean literally anything else."

Jenna chucked a pillow at him, which Mason leaned into me to duck. I cackled, continuing to ignore the hell out of Damon staring at me from across the room.

"How about charades?" asked Alaric, bravely standing between Jenna and Mason even as Mason grabbed another pillow and cocked his arm back to throw it. "Or pictionary?"

"Pictionary sounds good to me!" Damon chimed in with an eagerness that made me incredibly suspicious. "I'll go get the board."

Low and behold, a few rounds later, Damon was using it to make ridiculously obvious werewolf references at Mason. The one silver lining was that Mason was as irritated with him as me, so we bonded a little as we gave him deadpan answers for things like Dances With Wolves as a pictionary clue. Jenna, the only one in the room completely out of the loop, also helped immensely by criticizing Damon's art every chance she got. I loved him, but he absolutely deserved every dig. Besides, his ego could take it.

After many rounds of various party games (although not Guitar Hero, at least not yet), we made our way to the table in the kitchen for some dessert. Elena and Caroline had left, which just left the adults. If Damon hadn't been dragging Mason into a pissing contest, it would've been the perfect party.

Alas, instead, Damon decided to continue to poke the bear, so to speak.

"Mason! Why don't you start us off," Damon said, bringing the pie to the table with a silver serving knife and setting it down directly in front of Mason. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Mason looked at Damon, then turned the pie until the knife faced away from him before grabbing a slice with his bare hands. Damon and Ric shared a triumphant look.

"What?" said Mason, a slight edge to his tone as he stared right back at Damon. "I apologize. I'm an animal."

I shook my head, turning my attention to Jenna instead of the two of them staring each other down as she joined us at the table.

"So Mason, you and Jenna never dated?" asked Ric, apparently trying to break the tension between Mason and Damon. A valiant effort, but knowing Damon, I doubted he'd succeed.

"She was always lost in Logan Fell-land," Mason replied. Jenna huffed a laugh.

"Oh, my first mistake. Mason was a catch. He had girls lining up."

"Really?" said Damon, that fake-friendly tone in his voice that I knew meant trouble. "Huh. I always pegged you for a lone wolf."

"I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were," Mason shot back without missing a beat. I snorted into my drink, completely failing to keep a smile off my face. Mason cut his eyes to me, the edge in his own smile fading for the briefest of seconds, before he looked back at Damon and raised his glass in toast. "To new friends."

He and Damon didn't take their eyes off each other once as we all clinked glasses and cheersed. When Damon kept doing his stare-down and looked ready to keep it up for the duration of pie, I kicked him under the table as hard as I could. He turned to glare at me, but their stare down was broken, and with Jenna's increasingly tipsy help we managed to turn things back into a mostly-friendly barbecue.

As the night went on, I found myself getting a new best friend in Jenna, with each joke she made and wink she shot in my direction when I sat particularly close to Mason. We moved back into the living room, sprawling on the couches with another round of beers. Jenna was much, much tipsier than I was, but I was having enough fun that I decided to lean into it more than I actually felt it. We cackled together as she told high school stories about Mason, then cheered like maniacs together when she finally pulled out Guitar Hero, against the protests of Mason and Ric.

"Alright, I'm gonna need another drink if we're really doing that," Mason sighed, a smile on his face all the same. He stood and headed into the kitchen, where I knew Damon was. I wanted to ignore it and get my literal groove on with Jenna, but I couldn't. I stood with a sigh and moved to follow him.

"Go get him girl!" Jenna called after me with a little 'whoop'! I whipped around, face burning, but she just grinned at me and winked. I shook my head, but found myself grinning back as I turned and left the room.

By the time I got to the kitchen, I could already hear Damon and Mason talking. Rather than interrupting to immediately change the topic or insert myself into the conversation, however, I decided to listen in. That way I could gauge just how hostile Damon and Mason were being to each other, and react accordingly.

"Come on, man, you don't think I know what this barbecue is about?" came Mason's voice.

"How do you know about me?" Damon, demanding, any of the fake-friendliness gone. "Your brother was completely clueless."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not your enemy, Damon."

"You tried to kill my brother." I fought back a scoff. That was a stretch, and we both knew it.

"That was a mistake."

"Really?"

"There was confusion. I couldn't chain myself up in time." Their voices had started coming closer, but I stayed put. "I have no control once I shift."

"What, no obedience school?"

"I'm serious. Let's not spark some age-old feud that doesn't apply to us."

"You expect me to believe that you're in Mystic Falls planting peace trees?"

"I lost my brother. My nephew lost his father. I'm here for my family."

And with that, I'd heard all I needed to hear. Damon, my best friend, as usual, was the aggressor. Thankfully, this time, it sounded like Mason might've made an argument that convinced him. We had bigger problems than one generally chill werewolf, after all.

I left, returning to Jenna and Ric and Guitar Hero. She smiled at me, clearly thinking I'd had a conversation with Mason I hadn't really had, and I leaned into it as she passed me a plastic guitar. Mason returned to the room a few moments later, followed by Damon. I ignored them both as I pretended to shred, and to both their credit, they cheered me on.

The rest of the party was a blast, with Mason much more relaxed after his conversation with Damon and Damon finally dropping all the stupid wolf jokes. Jenna and I acted ridiculous and had the time of our lives doing it, and whenever I wasn't shredding the imaginary guitar, Mason and I leaned against each other, laughing and talking the night away.

Finally, once I'd sobered up more and the sun had long-since gone down, and Jenna and I had finished half the songs on Guitar Hero, we wound up the party and all headed home. Damon stayed a moment longer to talk with Ric, so after giving Jenna a goodbye hug, I headed for my car without him. To my delight, Mason came with me, walking me to my car.

"You know, you're a little too good at Guitar Hero, I think," he said, bumping his shoulder into mine as we walked. I chuckled.

"And you're a little too ridiculously set against that game," I teased back. "What's the matter, you don't like fun?"

"I don't like watching Jenna butchering Black Sabbath. Watching you was... a little more fun."

I paused as we reached my car, smiling up at Mason with a glowing feeling in my chest. He smiled back at me, leaning against the front panel of my car.

"It was great getting to know you better tonight," I said, smiling at him and stalling the moment I'd actually have to leave. He grinned at me.

"You too. And I'd love to keep getting to know you better. Maybe at Volunteer Day tomorrow?"

"I was already planning on going, but it'll be much more fun with you there."

"Great." He flashed me a heart-stopping smile. "It's a date."

I was practically floating as I drove away, replaying the end of the night with Mason in my mind over and over again. The last time I'd felt anything like what I was starting to feel now... well, it hadn't ended well. I'd gotten Damon as a best friend out of it, which was a net positive no matter how much he annoyed me sometimes, but everything else had been an absolute nightmare. For the first time in three years, I found myself wanting to risk the heartache and get close to somebody in a non-friendship way again.

I'd been staying with Stefan and Damon since I got to town, and I expected a long lecture about 'flirting with the enemy' from Damon when I got home. But, blissfully, the house was empty. I wandered upstairs and fell into bed, thoughts of seeing Mason tomorrow letting me drift off with a smile on my face.

I should've known nothing in this town, in this world of supernaturals, could ever go that smoothly.

****************

The next morning, I woke up bright and early, unusually excited about Volunteer Day. A certain werewolf definitely had something to do with that, but thankfully, neither of the Salvatores was around on my way out to grill me about the grin on my face.

I'd gotten Mason's number last night, so I quickly shot off a text saying I was making a pre-volunteering coffee run and asking if he wanted anything. I took my time heading to my favorite coffee place, and the line was long enough that I waited at least ten minutes, but I didn't hear anything back from Mason.

I tried not to let it get to me as I ordered my usual, then an iced latte for Mason. Hopefully he would like it, and if he didn't, then at least it wouldn't go to waste, since I was always down for an iced latte.

I ended up arriving a little late to the event, but I wasn't complaining too much, since it meant I missed Carol Lockwood's speech. I scanned the crowd for Mason, then smiled when I noticed him under a newly-built picnic awning. Instead of smiling back, he looked away like he'd barely noticed me, continuing his conversation with Sheriff Forbes. I frowned.

I caught up to him walking away from the picnic awning, not too far into the newer part of the park that we were supposed to be fixing up today before its official opening. He walked quickly, and was apparently pretending not to notice me.

"Hey. Hey, Mason!"

He stopped and turned around with a frustrated sigh, his hands on his hips. The coffees lowered in my hands a little, and part of me suddenly wanted to run back the way I'd come from.

"What do you want?" he asked, none of the warmth or flirtiness from yesterday in his voice.

"I... brought you a coffee..." I said, holding it out to him slowly. He just stared at it. "Is something wrong?"

He huffed a humorless laugh. "That has to be a joke, right?"

"No, actually, it's not," I said, my temper flaring. "You're acting like a dick and I have no idea why, so-"

"You have no idea why?" He looked at me like he absolutely didn't believe me, and I just stared right back as I shook my head. Slowly, the anger fell from his face, to a more cautious confusion. "You don't know where your best friend, who you live with, went last night? Or what he did?"

"Oh God," I shook my head and dropped Mason's gaze, muttering to the leaves more than to him. "I knew I should've been worried when he didn't come home last night. Why can't he ever be out late for normal reasons?"

I sighed, shaking myself out of my thoughts and steeling my resolve as I looked at Mason again. The anger, at least, had gone from his face.

"I have no idea where Damon went or what he did last night," I said. "But... I feel like I should start by offering an apology on his behalf anyway? Maybe in the form of this iced latte I brought?"

Mason huffed a laugh and looked into the tree line, but I caught a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The relief washing through my body almost took me to my knees.

"Yeah, alright," he finally said, taking a few steps closer and taking the latte from me. He looked me up and down as he sipped it, holding my gaze for a few long moments afterwards. I didn't look away once. "Damon stabbed me with a silver knife last night."

My eyes went wide, and a second later, dropped to Mason's chest to scan for any lingering sign of injury. Thankfully, he seemed to be fine.

"I thought... I thought you guys made peace last night?" I finally asked, meeting Mason's eyes again once I was satisfied he was healthy.

"I thought so too. But apparently Damon doesn't want peace. Stefan started the morning out with a little extra threat today, too, to try to keep me from getting revenge."

I sighed heavily, closing my eyes and shaking my head. I could feel a headache coming on.

"I'm so sorry, Mason," I said. "Ugh, I wish you would've told me when it happened. Or that Damon would've mentioned his stupid little plan, or Ric-"

"Why? You think the Salvatores would listen to you telling them not to come after me? You think Damon would listen to that?"

"Damon is... well, he's a lot of things. But if I talk to him, he'll back off."

Mason raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I don't understand how you're friends with him. Except maybe a dangerous level of delusion. He doesn't care about anybody but his own agenda. I've barely known him a day and I can already see that."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, debating my options. I had some very good reasons for trusting Damon as much as I did, but I wasn't totally sure I wanted to get into them, especially not with someone I'd only recently met. But that someone was starting to become important to me. I sighed, then knocked back the rest of my iced coffee. Decision made.

"Alright, listen. I don't owe you an explanation or a justification of my relationship with Damon. But... I like you. A lot. So I want you to know, so you can maybe understand."

Mason nodded, his expression thankfully more curious and open than anything else. We moved a few more feet away from the rest of the volunteer activities happening behind us to sit on a bench together, and I tried not to let our proximity and touching knees distract me.

"Okay, so, in college... I dated this guy."

"Don't tell me it was Damon."

I made a face. "Uck! Never."

"Okay, good," Mason laughed. "Sorry, I promise that'll be my one and only interruption.

"Honestly, it's probably better that we got that cleared up right away. I love him very much, but I would absolutely never date him."

"Good."

Mason held my eyes for an extra second, a little bit of that flirty behavior returning, and I felt heat rising to my cheeks. I cleared my throat and tried to refocus.

"Anyway, I dated this guy for a while. He wasn't Damon, but he was a vampire. I'm a witch, as you know, and I was raised knowing about my powers and everything else, so I knew a good amount about the supernatural world. I actually had class with him—his name was Andy—my freshman year, and we sat next to each other. I clocked him as a vampire immediately, and I don't think he was used to that.

"I wasn't sure about him at first, what with the whole vampire thing, but... we saw each other a lot. Same classes, all that. He was always nice, and funny, and when he eventually asked me out, I said yes.

"I'll skip to the important part, but basically, we dated for three years. By the time we were graduating, I'd fallen head over heels in love. I knew what he was, I knew the thought of 'together forever' brought a lot of problems we'd have to work through, including whether I could stand to stop being a witch and whether I could live with the curse of immortality. But... I knew we'd figure it out, together. I was convinced he was the love of my life."

I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to brace myself for what came next. This was only the second or third time I'd gone through it in the few years since it'd happened. Mason, to his credit, stayed quiet, letting me take my time.

"Right around graduation, when we were supposed to be doing ridiculous Senior Week activities and getting rid of the last of our assignments, taking pictures and getting ready to walk... all the supernatural drama and danger you can imagine came crashing down on our heads. Brought to our doorstep by Andy."

I shook my head, angry at myself as much as at Andy as the memories replayed, as vivid as the day they'd happened.

"He'd gotten involved in some ridiculous scheme with some other vampires, trying to prove some lore was real or something, and they needed a powerful witch. Without asking, Andy had volunteered me. When I didn't want to help, he threatened me, and left me to the wolves—no pun intended, sorry—left me to the vampires when they tried to force me to help. Damon stepped in and stopped them.

"Don't get me wrong, I know it was a completely selfish move," I said, finally looking at Mason again. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he moved a little closer, stopping just short of putting us shoulder to shoulder. "He wanted to stop the plan and the ritual and the spell, it had nothing to do with helping me. But once Andy and everyone around us was dead... I just fell apart. Damon, for all he acts the bad guy, didn't ditch me. I've asked him a couple times and he always brushes it off like it was nothing, but... he saved me in more ways than one that night. Since then, we've had each others' backs. It's kind of a weird friendship, but he's put his own life on the line to protect me more than once since then. I've done the same. I trust him completely, for the things where it really counts."

Mason sighed through his nose, looking away from me finally to stare at the ground. I watched him, watched his eyes dart around as he thought, until he met my eyes again.

"I get it. The people that pick you up and carry you through stuff like that... it's a special kind of bond. If you have that with Damon... I get it." We held eye contact for a few more moments, a wordless heaviness passing between us, and then Mason grinned. "So, what you're saying is I count as the important stuff for you?"

I bit my lip and looked away, fighting a smile and quickly losing to it.

"I... yeah, I guess I am saying that."

Mason and I laughed and worked together for a while longer on our various cleanup duties, until he told me he needed to go do trash duty in the woods, since the Sheriff had asked him to. I gave him my empty latte cup as a start, watching him with a smile as he walked away.

I tried to busy myself with volunteer work, the thing I'd actually come here for today, to keep my mind from running wild about Mason. I only half-succeeded. I hadn't felt anything close to this for somebody since Andy, and it scared me and thrilled me at the same time. The needle pinged back and forth between the two, but when Mason came back out of the woods looking rumpled, guilty, and glancing over his shoulder, it jumped all the way to scared.

"Mason?" I called, hurrying over to him. He shook his head, trying to duck past me again, but when I put a hand on his arm he stopped. "What happened?"

"Y/N..."

"Mason, what happened?" I pulled my attention from him, quickly scanning the gathered volunteers and then doing it again. Damon and Stefan were nowhere to be found. "What happened?"

Mason met my eyes and hesitated. Then, finally, "They tried to kill me. In the woods. They surrounded me, and Damon told me he'd give me a running head start before they ripped my heart out of my chest."

Immediately, my eyes darted to the woods behind Mason, scanning for my best friend. Ready to stop him. Until Mason continued.

"They're not coming back."

My eyes snapped to his again. "Explain."

"I told the Sheriff what they were. She's taking care of it."

I sprang back from Mason like touching him had burned me. He winced, but didn't do anything else.

"Are you kidding me? After everything I told you, everything we talked about?"

"I didn't have a whole lot of choice, between them and death. Besides, I told the Sheriff before I talked to you."

"Mason, you should have told to me! I would've talked to them, I would've made sure they didn't go after you if I knew it was such a pressing thing! We could've figured out the issue with the Sheriff together! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry. But it was kill or be killed-"

"This! This is why I hate this supernatural shit!" My voice had risen to a yell, but I didn't care. We were far enough away from everyone that they probably still couldn't hear me. And what did it matter, anyway? The Council already knew. "This is why nobody ever finds any lasting peace or happiness in this stupid, ridiculous world. Everyone is so fixated on revenge and killing anyone they feel even remotely threatened by. If you'd come to me, I could've kept you safe. Instead, you might've just gotten my best friend killed."

My voice broke on the last word, and I pushed past Mason and started for the woods before he could catch me crying. Unfortunately, he caught my arm before I could get away and turned me to face him, immediately dropping his grip when I tried to pull away.

"I am sorry. I really am. But I didn't know they would follow me into the woods. And they were ready to kill me. When I saw the Sheriff's people over Stefan's shoulder, it seemed like my only way out. I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath, giving him a curt nod before turning again and taking off into the woods, hoping against hope I could get to Damon and Stefan before it was too late. Things had gotten so out of hand, so fast. All I could do was focus on putting out one fire at a time, and hope we all came out of this alive.

I started at the Lockwood cellar, but found it empty. The floor had fresh blood on it, though, and with a little magic I traced Damon and Stefan back to the Salvatore Boarding House. That felt like a good sign.

I pulled into the driveway and sprang out of my car, slamming the door to the house open. I could see Caroline passed out on the couch, which didn't entirely make me feel better as I sprinted up to Damon's room.

I slammed the door open without bothering to knock, only to come face to face with my best friend, unharmed, shirtless, and staring at me like I was insane.

"Don't you ever knock?" he demanded, sounding exasperated as he pulled his shirt over his head. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me, and I rushed over to hug him.

"You're one to talk," I shot back, wrapping him tighter in my embrace as I did. After a second, his arms came around me too and squeezed back.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I thought... I thought you might be dead."

"Well, I'm not." Slowly, gently, he pulled away. He grabbed my arms, looking intently into my eyes for a few long moments. "I'm not. Alright?"

I nodded, the adrenaline fading and leaving exhaustion in its place. I plopped down on his bed as he moved to shut the door.

"Can't have you getting me all sappy in public and ruining my reputation," he explained. I huffed a laugh, but quickly sobered as he sat next to me. I watched him, neither of us speaking for a minute, until he raised an eyebrow. "So... was that it, or...?"

"You can't go after Mason anymore."

"What?" he cried, shooting up and glaring at me. "What the hell are you talking about? He tried to kill me today. The Sheriff is in our basement right now while we wait for the vervain to work through her system because he exposed us. That mutt is dead."

"No. Damon, no," I said, standing too as I spoke. A strange calm had washed over me, and I met Damon's wild eyes with it. "Not Mason."

"Oh, gross. Really? Him?" He raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes at me. "Besides being a werewolf, he's a surfer. Are you serious?"

"Damon, come on. Just let it go. Just this once, end the cycle of revenge. You stabbed him, Stefan threatened him, he exposed you to the Sheriff, you tried to kill him, he tried to kill you. You're even, sort of. Just let this one go."

"How about, instead... I kill him?" The inappropriate brightness in his tone usually just made me roll my eyes or sigh while still sort of endearing him to me, but not this time.

"No! Damon, I'm not joking! This isn't some stupid thing where you can just turn around and break promises and it's fine! I never draw a line in the sand, but I am this time! I haven't felt anything close to this, not once, since Andy. And I am not going through anything like that again! You were right the first time. I'm glad you killed Andy, you saved me doing it. But I don't ever want to live through that again. This time is different, he's different. And I know I haven't technically known him very long, but just... please. Not Mason."

Damon held my stare for a few long, long moments, assessing. I stared right back, leaving every single thing I felt clear as day on my face, an open book for him to read. Finally, he sighed and rolled his eyes, in that exaggerated way he did whenever he gave in.

"Fine. I promise I won't kill Mason."

"Or try to kill Mason?"

"Yes, alright? If you're that convinced he's different... then fine. This one's different."

I flung myself forward and wrapped my arms tight around his middle before he could stop me. He grunted and grumbled, but hugged me back after a second anyway.

"Thanks, Day."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get out of here and get some sleep before someone catches me hugging you, alright?"

I pulled back with a grin. "Deal. Softie."

Damon narrowed his eyes at me, but I just cackled and bounced out of the room. It had been a long, stressful day, but things were looking up. Tomorrow, I'd talk to Mason. And this time would be different.

I passed out in bed as soon as my head hit the pillow. Today had been a long, emotional day, and I still had a few supernaturals to talk to tomorrow, since Stefan needed to be looped in too. I'd need all the rest I could get.

I got up the next morning a little later than I'd planned to, then dressed quickly to head over to the Lockwood's. I was helping set up for the upcoming masquerade ball, and I needed to talk to Mason. After getting coffee, of course.

As I headed down the stairs, I heard voices from the living room. I listened more closely as I approached, and I heard Damon say something like "this changes things" before they stopped at my arrival. I found Damon and Jeremy both looking at me like I'd interrupted something.

"Good morning..." I said, slowly reaching to retrieve my keys as I stared at them both suspiciously.

"Good morning," said Damon, flashing me a smile that didn't reach his eyes as Jeremy gave me a little nod.

"Everything okay in here...?"

"Completely."

I narrowed my eyes, glancing from Damon to Jeremy, then finally sighed.

"Alright, I have places to be and not enough willpower to involve myself in whatever this is. Just... don't do anything over the top stupid, alright?"

Both boys just gave little signs of acknowledgement as I slowly backed towards the door. I kept waiting for one of them to break, or for some obvious thing to jump out and catch my attention, but nothing came. I reached the door and finally turned my back on both of them, just hoping I wouldn't regret it.

I never got a moment of peace in Mystic Falls. Witch history and best friend or not, I might need to ditch this place sooner rather than later. Damon could come visit me somewhere with less supernatural drama.

This time, I only got one iced latte at the coffee shop before heading to the Lockwood's. As soon as I parked my car, I started scanning for Stefan, so I could talk to him and get him on the same page as Damon. The last thing I needed was the calmer Salvatore brother ruining the progress I'd made.

Thankfully, it didn't take me long to find him, or to convince him to leave Mason alone. He'd apparently only gotten on the same page as Damon about killing Mason after Mason had made a few threats of his own, and he said if I believed peace was still an option (especially one that I could sell Damon on), then he'd be happy to support me.

That left me with one last supernatural to work things out with. I had to do a few laps of the venue to find Mason, even though it was sort of his house. I finally managed to track him down outside, by a big pond a little distance away from the rest of everyone. He gave me a small smile when he saw me coming.

"What? No coffee for me today?"

"Coffee is only for people who haven't tried to kill my friends in the last twenty-four hours." The smile immediately dropped off Mason's face, his whole demeanor sobering.

"Look, Y/N-"

"Lucky for you, that timer expires tomorrow," I continued. "So... if we get roped into a third volunteer thing in three days, you can count on coffee for that."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth again, this time a little more cautious.

"Does that mean we're okay?"

I took a deep breath, then nodded.

"As I'm sure you've noticed, Damon and Stefan are alive. I've talked to both of them. They both agreed to drop it. The three of you have done a bunch of mutual threatening and murder-attempting in the past forty-eight hours, and Damon understands that this is one of those important things he can't just brush off. They're willing to make peace, and actually mean it, from now on. For me. Can you do the same?"

Mason frowned and looked away, his eyes scanning the grass, pond, trees, and everything else while he thought. He shook his head, presumably to himself, then finally met my eyes again. He squared his shoulders, and through all of the emotions I'd experienced from him since I'd met him, he'd never been this serious.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do the same. I don't want to get killed by a vampire, or get mixed up in trying so hard to kill one, let alone two. If they back off, for real... I'm happy to do the same."

I smiled, not as bright and full of joy as the first few times Mason and I had spent time together, but just a little ray of hope shining through after the storm I'd just weathered.

"Thank you."

He nodded, then that easy smile that had gotten a special place in my heart so quickly returned.

"So... this masquerade stuff, there's a ton of people here to help with it. Do you want to go for a walk instead?"

"I'd love that."

We took our time doing a full lap around the pond at turtle-speed, laughing and talking the entire time. We eventually did rejoin the rest of the workforce, but I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. We sorted masks and hung decorations together, which made it better. Mason even gave me a better introduction to his nephew, Tyler, who I'd only vaguely known before.

"Hey, pay attention," teased Mason, nudging me with his shoulder as we stood together, untangling a frankly ridiculous amount of lights with Tyler's help.

"I can't," I whined. "I'm falling asleep at the wheel. One coffee isn't even close to enough caffeine to wake me up."

"I could go on a coffee run," he suggested. I turned to him with wide eyes and an exaggerated gasp.

"You would be my hero forever."

He laughed. "Alright, alright, I'm on it. I'll take any excuse to get away from these lights. Ty, you want anything?"

"Sure. Black coffee."

"Alright. I'll be back in a few."

I smiled after him as he jogged up the lawn, only looking away when he finally disappeared from sight. As I turned back to the lights, I found Tyler staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I cleared my throat.

"You really like him, don't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I really do."

Tyler nodded, first to me then to himself, as he returned to working on the lights. I watched him for a minute, then continued.

"I know we don't actually know each other that well, so this might be over the line, but... I can tell he really cares about you. He talks about you a lot. I think he'd walk through fire for you. And I think he'd want you to know that."

Tyler glanced up at me, jaw tight, but he nodded all the same. He muttered a "thanks", and then we went back to our work, mostly in silence except for long strings of expletives for this Gordian Knot of a light string.

The glowing happiness in my chest kept me going without the coffee for a while, until I started to notice just how long it had been since Mason left. Tyler had moved on due to frustration with the lights, and now stood across the lawn, but Mason was nowhere to be found. Even if the line had been out the door, he should've been back by now.

I scanned the crowd again, looking for a few specific people and only finding one of them. Stefan was still here, but Damon and Jeremy were conspicuously missing. I started walking to Stefan, picking up the pace when I noticed Bonnie missing too.

"Stefan," I said, my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I tried to keep my panic under control. "Where is Damon?"

"Listen, you have to stay calm, alright-?"

"No, not alright! Where is Damon? Or, actually, no. Where is Mason?"

"He's dating Katherine. Bonnie touched him, and she had a vision about him. He's got the moonstone, and he's with her. He's been lying to all of us. Things have changed since this morning."

"Things have- fuck. That's exactly what Damon was saying to Jeremy this morning," I shook my head, mentally kicking myself for not putting the pieces together faster. "Where are they, Stefan?"

"Did you not hear me? He's working with the enemy-"

"Stefan Salvatore. I will ask you one more time, and then it'll be my turn to cross some fucking lines. Where. Are. They."

Stefan watched me for a moment, considering. Then, finally, he said, "They're at the boarding house."

I barely waited for him to finish his answer before I took off running. My lungs burned as I raced through the people swarming around Lockwood Manor, towards where I'd left my car. Apparently, Damon had decided that Bonnie's vision of Mason and Katherine, whatever else it meant, gave him a pass to change the rules. To break the promise he made to me last night. Which meant, if I didn't move fast enough, I might never see Mason again.

I flung myself into the driver's seat of my car, then took off for the Salvatore Boarding House. I barely managed to stay on the right side of 'safe driver', and made it there in record time. I screeched to a stop in front of the house, and as soon as I stepped out of my car, I heard Mason scream from inside. My heart dropped to my feet as I raced forward, flung the door open, and rushed inside.

I could see Damon hovering over someone, presumably Mason, in a chair with it's back to me. Jeremy hovered off to the side, looking horrified but refusing to do something or leave. I shoved past Jeremy roughly, flinging out my arms and using a burst of magic to send Damon flying into the nearest wall and away from Mason.

"What is WRONG with you?" I cried, raging at Damon, feeling an anger like I'd never felt towards my best friend before. "Did everything we talked about mean nothing to you? I know you have some crazy need to do everything the violent way, and I've never let it get to me before, but you've also never backstabbed me before! How could you do this to me?"

"You don't understand-"

"I understand perfectly."

With one last shove of my magic at Damon, I whirled around to look at Mason. He was bound to a chair from the dining room, covered in his own blood, a hopeless, broken look in his eyes. I tried not to break with him as I dropped to my knees and started working to untie him.

"It's okay, it's okay," I said, talking to keep myself calm as much as to keep Mason calm. "Don't worry, I got you."

Mason didn't respond, and I spared a glance up at him to see him watching me, his face contorted in pain. I did my best to speed up, but it was harder to work the ropes and chains with how badly my hands were shaking.

"He's in love with Katherine," came Damon's voice from behind me. There was no fight or victory in his words, and I still trusted him enough to leave my back to him, even as I ignored him. "He told me himself before you came in. He doesn't love you, he loves her. Like every other poor sucker she's brainwashed and ditched over the years."

I huffed a breath through my nose as I finally managed to remove the last of Mason's restraints, then stood to face Damon. He was still a good distance away, not threatening, just watching. Posture relaxed, face pressed into a concerned frown. Jeremy stood over his shoulder, watching us like a tennis match.

"Is that supposed to make me willing to let you torture and kill him?"

Damon shrugged, an insufferable look that I knew very, very well crossing his face.

"This isn't a joke, Damon. Just because you get some new information doesn't mean everything we talked about last night ceases to be important. You should have talked to me. Like a rational person! Not done... this," my voice broke a little on the final word as I pictured Mason again, those empty eyes that had been so full of light and joy before. "Tell me something. If I hadn't shown up... were you going to kill him?"

Damon looked away, and I had my answer. I snorted, then turned to help Mason stand, slinging one of his arms over my shoulder. He was incredibly heavy, and he wasn't strong enough to be much help either, but I could manage.

"I would've been doing him a favor," Damon finally said, calling after me as I helped Mason limp towards the door. "I've been where he is. I know what it's like to be lost in Katherine land. There's no hope for him."

I just raised my middle finger back at him as we continued to the door. I didn't look back as the front door shut behind me and I loaded Mason into the passenger seat of my car, then climbed into the driver's seat. I started the engine, but just kept staring straight ahead, a thousand different thoughts and noises racing around in my mind all at once. I tried to focus on one, to process things slowly, but I couldn't. So, I forced all of it out, instead keeping my eyes locked on the road ahead and pretending nothing else existed. I could do that, just long enough to get out of here.

Mason didn't speak, move, or make a sound for the entire drive back to the Lockwood house. It wasn't the safest place for him, but I didn't know where else to take him. I stayed silent, too, focusing entirely on trying to fight the wave of everything threatening to crash over me in the middle of evening traffic.

Thankfully, when we got back to the Lockwood house, all the volunteers had gone. I helped Mason out of the car, then continued to be his crutch as we limped through the front door. He broke his silence long enough to point me towards his room, and I helped him up the stairs and through the door. As gently as possible, I helped him ease down on the bed. His super-healing would fix the physical injuries fairly quickly all things considered, but Damon had spent the afternoon torturing him. That wasn't as easy to get past.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked. I knew it was a stupid question, especially with everything else floating around in my head, but I needed to know what he'd say. To gauge how close he might be to okay.

Mason sighed and ran a hand through his hair, refusing to meet my eyes.

"I'm fine. Or at least... I guess I will be."

I nodded. "I'm glad." And I meant it.

Mason huffed another heavy, heavy sigh, then finally looked up at me.

"Thank you. For saving me."

"Yeah, of course. I... I'm sorry I was wrong. That Damon went right back to... that."

Mason waved me off, rubbing the back of his neck and staring holes in the carpet. The silence hung between us, and I took a shuffling step backwards before deciding I couldn't leave without a few answers, even if Mason clearly felt like shit.

"Is it true?" I asked, still hovering by the doorway. Mason flinched, and I knew he knew what I meant, but I continued anyway. "What Damon and Stefan said... are you with Katherine?"

Mason grimaced and ducked his head, not meeting my eyes. I took a few more steps across the room towards him.

"Mason. Please answer me."

He huffed a hollow laugh, then looked up at me, pain written all over his face.

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head. This time, it was my turn for the hollow laugh.

"I'm so, so sorry. I was trying to help her. I... I love her. Or at least, I did... I thought she loved me too..."

"Katherine doesn't love anybody," I spat, my voice full of venom. "I watched Damon wrestle with that realization for a few years. Did she ever tell you? She played him and Stefan against each other, dated and toyed with them both in 1864. Escaped from being trapped with twenty-six other vampires and never looked back, all while she let Damon chase after her, knowing full well he was trying to find a way to save her from a trap she wasn't in. For almost a hundred and fifty years. She's ditched and killed and betrayed everyone she's ever been with, Mason. Think about that long and hard before you really decide to stick with her."

With that, I turned on my heel, the first tears starting to fall as I wrenched the door open. It slammed closed again before I could get through it, and I turned to find Mason standing before me, one arm extended to keep the door shut. He looked torn and pained, even more so when he noticed the tears I failed to hold back.

"I need you to know... it was real. I wasn't... faking it, or whatever, all those times we hung out. I... really do like you." I scoffed, but he continued before I could tell him off. "It's just... Kath was there for me after I triggered my curse. My friend kept coming at me, trying to beat me up because he thought I was sleeping with his girlfriend, which I wasn't. I pushed him too hard, and he fell, and... and he died. I killed him. That same night was the first night I transformed. Kath was there for me then, and for every minute after. She's... my Damon."

"Ha!" I shouted, shoving Mason's chest and pushing him back with all the force I could muster. He stumbled back more than a few steps, apparently still weak from whatever Damon had done. "Don't you ever, ever compare them. Damon sucks, and does bad things that hurt the people he cares about. Don't think I don't know that. But the difference is, he actually has people he cares about.

"And before you go running back to Katherine, after I saved your life, you should really think Mason: Katherine wants the moonstone. You got her the moonstone. If she knew you could get it for her, then what might she have done to make you want to get it for her?"

Mason shook his head, slowly at first and then faster and faster.

"No. No, she can't compel me. I know she can't."

"Sure. But I bet she could compel your friend. I mean, did you ever figure out why he thought you'd gone after his girlfriend? Or why he wouldn't listen to you or to reason, just came at you until you were forced to defend yourself? The best way to make you do her dirty work for her was to give you a vested interest in getting the moonstone. What better way than a ray of hope to try to break your new curse?"

Mason sat down hard on his bed, head in his hands and shaking. I opened the door again, never taking my eyes off of Mason, my heart shattering in my chest.

"Think long and hard about the truth and who you can actually trust, Mason. Following Katherine will only lead you down a road of pain and death."

With that, I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. This time, nobody stopped me. And I didn't look back.

I got in my car and drove, no destination in mind, trying to process. I'd been falling for Mason, hard, and he'd betrayed me. Damon, who I'd always been able to count on, had done the same. Everything had come crumbling down in less than an hour.

I didn't go back home, to the Salvatore house, until sunrise the next morning. I'd stayed out all night, wandering aimlessly with my car, driving around and slowly working through everything. And when I walked through the doors of the boarding house again, I'd found a new clarity.

"Hey." Damon stood in the hallway, arms crossed and looking concerned. I gave him a weak smile.

"Hey."

"...Everything okay?"

"No. No it's not. You crossed a line, Damon, and even if you never crossed it again... the supernatural drama just doesn't stop. So I'm done with it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Mystic Falls, and everything that comes with vampires and werewolves and even witches, before it destroys me. It's not worth it. I booked a flight to San Diego on my phone a few hours ago."

Damon tried to convince me to stay, but I wasn't hearing it. I'd made up my mind, and now, I wasn't changing it. He hovered as I packed my bags, my anger still simmering but fading now that I'd spent time processing. By a little after noon, I was ready to go.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to stay?" Damon finally asked as I stood on the threshold of the house, my bags already loaded into the car.

"I'm sure. I meant what I said, Day, I'm done with this stuff. But I'll make you a deal."

"...And what kind of deal would that be?"

"Don't kill Mason, and you're welcome to visit me any time."

Damon scowled. "All that, and you're still protecting him?"

I shrugged. "I'm over it, all the death. And I think Mason might be having a wakeup call of his own now. Just... please, Damon. Consider this a second chance. Don't kill Mason. Or torture him, or hurt him. No matter what you learn, or how the circumstances change. He's off limits."

Damon just looked at me for a long, long moment before finally nodding, slowly.

"Fine. And if he asks where you went?"

"You can tell him. I don't think he's gonna chase me all the way to San Diego, especially not if he's still hung up on Katherine like you said he is. And like I said... feel free to come visit. Or call whenever."

Damon nodded once, lips pursed in a tight line. I gave him a smile and a little salute before turning and climbing into my car. I took one last breath to steel myself, then turned the key and left Mystic Falls in the dust behind me.

****************

Two and a Half Months Later

I smiled from the porch of my new house (really closer to a shack) on the beach as I sipped my morning coffee. Watching the waves crash over the shore in the early morning light had become my routine, and I swear my blood pressure had dropped beyond belief as a result.

I hadn't had any supernatural visitors yet, but I knew it'd only be a matter of time. Despite everything, I hoped it would be Damon. There were a lot of things I didn't miss about living in the same sphere as him every day, but it had been nice to be so close to my best friend, even if he was a jackass a lot of the time.

Once the sun was a little higher in the sky and my mug was empty, I went back into the kitchen. The house had a thousand projects, and I'd only just started on the first one or two. I'd been doing those mostly by myself too, with little magical help, and it was nice. I could feel a little bit more of myself in this place with every change I made.

I set my mug in the sink and started to grab eggs out of the fridge when I heard a knock on the door. I wandered over to open it, then stopped dead when I saw who was on the other side.

Mason Lockwood. Iced latte in hand and a sheepish grin on his face.

"Hey," he said, holding out the coffee as a sort of offering. "I, uh... I hope it's okay that I'm here. Damon told me where you'd moved to, and I figured he'd never tell me if it wasn't alright with you. Even then. Honestly, I half expected to open this door and find an axe murderer or a random old man."

Despite myself, I snorted a laugh, and a small smile tugged its way onto my face. I reached out and took the coffee.

"It's good to see you," I said, and meant it. "I'm glad you're okay. Honestly, I think Damon probably sent you here as proof that he didn't kill you. I told him that was a condition of him being invited into my house."

This time, a small smile made its way onto Mason's face. We just looked at each other for a few minutes, hopeful smiles and an electric energy snaking between us, until I finally cleared my throat and took a half-step to the side.

"Do you... want to come in?"

Mason smiled, somehow still looking slightly pained.

"I... can't." I raised an eyebrow, and he rushed to continue. "I'd love to, for the record. It's just... I might've dragged Tyler out of Mystic Falls with me. And he might be waiting in the car."

For the first time, I glanced over Mason's shoulder to see Tyler sitting in the front seat of Mason's Bronco, arms crossed as he pointedly didn't look at us. I laughed.

"That's why it took me so long to get here," Mason continued. "You were right about Katherine. About everything, really. When I ditched her... she compelled a friend of Tyler's to get him to trigger the curse. Like she did to me."

My eyes widened in horror, and I took a step forward to rest my hand on Mason's arm before glancing over his shoulder again.

"Oh my God. Is he okay?"

Mason shrugged. "As okay as he can be. We're figuring it out. But I needed to stay to make sure he was okay, and that Katherine and the other supernaturals didn't get him killed. A lot went down after you left, but... we made it. So did Damon and Stefan. But we needed to get out, so I convinced Carol to let me take Ty for a little while."

I nodded. "I'm glad you did. Do you guys have a place to stay?"

"Yeah. I actually got a place down the beach from here," he said, blushing a little as he glanced away and rubbed at the back of his neck. "We just got into town, and I might've dragged Tyler here first without warning."

I laughed, then stepped fully out of my house, shutting the door behind me. Mason smiled, and my heart raced at our newfound proximity. I decided to let that impulse win and leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Mason looked shocked as I pulled away, then grinned a wolfish grin (pun intended) as he swept me into his arms and kissed me, for real. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, hard, completely indulging for a few long seconds before pulling back.

"Tyler's in the car," I said. I was a little breathless and smiling like an idiot, an expression Mason shared.

"He's fine, I left the window cracked."

My laugh was muffled as Mason leaned in and kissed me again, but this time I pulled away fairly quickly.

"I love that you're making vague dog jokes now, but I really don't want him to have to just sit there while we make out on my porch. Let me help you guys get settled in your new place, and then maybe we can go on a real date tonight?"

Mason beamed at me, pulling me close to his side and resting his forehead against mine.

"Sounds like a plan."

He gave me one last peck on the lips, then took my hand and tugged me down the stairs after him. I laughed, feeling freer and lighter than I had in a long time, as I opened the back door of his car and Mason hopped back in the driver's seat.

"Hey Tyler," I chirped. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah. Hi."

I caught Mason's eye in the rear view mirror, fighting and almost failing to hold back a laugh. His blue eyes sparkled like the ocean on a beautiful, clear day, and somehow I just knew we were at the start of something special and wonderful. Call it a witch's intuition, but I felt good about what the future held for me and Mason in San Diego.

****************

TVD Taglist: @elenavampire21

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kecleonplush · 2 years

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ok more diarying on my public tumblr blog lol

I hung out with the guy I referenced last weekend - it was good, we have a ton in common, he’s cute and fun and we didn’t do anything sexual which honestly is a welcome change. I just played Fortnite (yes I know don’t laugh) with him for a few hours and it was really fun. I want to see him again soon, I think - I might try for this weekend.

It went well too - even if there wasn’t any sexual contact, there was a lot of touch and other stuff that is very indicative of interest. And he more or less gave me an open invitation to see him again. He seems like he’s got a pretty flexible schedule which works with mine, so I’m sure I’ll be able to swing it soon.

But of course, I’m already feeling myself fall back into the nervous pattern. The “does he like me, does he just want to be friends, is he actually interested, this could be so good I can’t fuck it up” thing came right back. I went on Grindr because I wanted a pic of him but then saw him on as well and was like “omg he’s on Grindr he’s fucking other guys!” which is just like, ridiculous and an invasive thought, and even if he is we literally have known each other for less than a week, he doesn’t have to be as one-track-minded as I am about guys. And maybe he’s doing something as innocent as I am, or just like peeking at the app out of habit or something, who knows? Speculating is not worth my time and yet I do it anyway.

Ugh I just want to break out of this pattern and have one relationship I can focus on. I feel good about this so far and I hope I can keep it moving in a good direction. It’s super early (though my track record doesn’t get very far past this point so). But at the same time something’s gotta go right sometime and as long as I can keep the crazy under control maybe being a little bolder is a good idea.

I’m overthinking this. Maybe even writing this is too much (though I feel like I need to keep a record of my overthinking if I’m going to learn how to deal with it, so double-edged sword). But I want to work on reframing my thought process and being a little bolder in general. I know that my general prudence and tendency to be risk-averse will probably keep me from doing anything too out there. If anything, I’m probably better off doing things that are a little crazy in my mind because I am so held back by my little overthinking gremlin that what I perceive as crazy and risky is probably not as bad as I think, and anything truly crazy and risky will overwhelm me so much that I probably won’t do it anyway lmao.

It’s not a great system admittedly but it’s what I’m working with.

#yeah #anyway

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haptureratch · 7 months

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acotar is getting good but it's reminding me of /issues/

the issue being that i think i have an addiction to sex, even when not having it, as has become the norm since pre-pandemic (I know, 2016 jess, i know, what has become of us) . i was reading acotar in the bath tub trying to get back to 'normal life' - which i do not know how to do when there is real fucking footage of alex fucking turner on my actual fucking cell phone that i took myself

IF WE CAN TAKE A NON-SEXUAL DETOUR FOR A MOMENT: holy fucking shit what the fuck even. the band came out and my mouth was like smacked open and alex turner single handedly held my jaw in place for maybe HALF of their first song before i could move again. the man is power. he's style. he's smooth and he is perfect. you can't fuck him. even if you wanted to, you just can't. i don't even think i could fuck him if he asked. he like....not to sound like the creepiest binch who ever binched....transcends that. am i ok? no but really i was in shock, awe, delight, good pain, more shock and awe and disbelief. he was just

so. good. if you bottled him up he'd be the hardest hitting more complex and beautiful cocktail. if he was meat he'd be the highest quality most expensive and tender juicy and delicious shit you could buy. ---------it's getting weird but i swear it's still not sexual.

alright so back to the post.

life is bland so much of the time. and kind of painful when i'm not content. what would you do if you had an itch that you couldn't scratch? it would ache and ache until it died away but lingered on in your mind. you'd remember how fucking good the scratch felt but you'd build a whole ruddy complex surrounding it because it's so easily accessible but sometimes the most important thing in your life so it's got to be quality. and so much weight is wrapped around what works and what doesn't to the point where you'll die if you're not fucked good and you'll die if you are and it's not good and you'll die before it takes you again.

do i even know what i'm saying?

bland. until i got to calanmai in acotar. the way i lit back up again is concerning. and something in the way she (the author) described the mounting interplay between tamlin and feyre--the edging basically lmao--reminded me of james and i took a moment to reminisce over the DC trip.

it is a delicious day dream that i can fall into every now and again. the increasing build over hours and hours. the interest piqued in the hotel bar, the RIDICULOUS (-ly hot and -ly public) play in the tapas restaurant, the standing out in the cold unable to stop touching and kissing each other's cheeks and necks, the way we unmistakably belonged to each other that night. JKLDSSADFJKLL;DSFK;KAJDA FUCK MY WHOLE LIFE

THAT SHOULD NOT BE THE THING I AM SAVORING SO HEAVILY WHEN I LOOK BACK ON MY PAST

i god damn graduated medical school. i have MD behind my name. and it's not even real anymore bc my passions lie in this wretched place. they always have. this is the place that called to me when i was a kid. this is the place i was most excited to finally start exploring in real life. this is the place i spent countless fantasy hours before my first boyfriend. this place (my sensuality and sexuality) i fear is the deepest part of me and where my soul resides. not in science, not in the operating room, not in research, not anywhere i can display proudly like the rest of them.

the happiest i've felt and the most devastated i've been has stemmed from this place. and if that's a lie, this place tricks me into thinking otherwise.

and i can write pretty things about it all day long. on the outside, i can use my education to label it as it is:

addiction.

P.S. sometimes i wish i had not slammed the door in james's face. the thing that has always ruined my nice things. me wanting more. me thinking i deserved more. it doesn't even matter if my friends are right and i deserve to have an actual partner who loves me and treats me as their equal and they are actually MY equal.... i had a chance to understand that james would only ever be a part time fantasy-come-to-life and just enjoy him for that. maybe some more trips here and there together. but my stupid fucking ego was like OMIGOD HIM IS USING U GIRLBOSS FUCC THAT BOI SIS GO OFF and i had to get rude and essentially publicly humiliate him so that he's stop toying with me.

same thing with old rob back in the day. i could have just accepted that it was gonna be some amazing sex and that's it. but no. i had to play those useless games, ever in vain, only to my detriment. i had to want love and meaning and monogamy.

you know what i guess it's because that place is so all-encompassing, it never has been and never will be not tied up with the core of me, the whole of me. and i'm always going to want the whole of my partner.

but even then, with the whole of my partner, like i had with aaron, it still was not enough.

that place is a blackness sometimes. hungry, demanding, exacting. never satisfied.

whatever disorder driving the addiction and then the two causing friction for each other

#when she wrote #kinda sorta #the spirit is there for sure #and then just fucking ramblings bc the sleep she comes for me finally

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plutodexay · 3 years

Note

i'm sorry i suck at sending requestsss lmao, could you do a james potter x reader where they fake date to make the other people they are talking to jealous but then they eventually start falling for each other? thank you & i love youu 😅💓

You are but here you go stop feeling icky

James Potter x Reader fluff

1.4k words (shocking I know)

Just fluff and not exactly the ask because I started this and was 400 words in before they sent the ask because they asked me like 9 times. But its still fake dating and they do start having the feels

“You want me to do what?” I asked, taken aback by his completely insane question. Remus and Sirius both laughed at the reaction, or possibly the question to begin with.

“Date me, but not really” James’ words held no joking tone, but rather an annoyance that he even had to say the words over again.

All I could do was stare at him. The ridiculous statement wasn’t one of his pranks he had pulled all the time back at hogwarts. His friends had gathered around us watching my reaction as they either laughed or rolled their eyes at the annoyed man.

“You must be joking” He threw his head back at my words, over exaggerating his reaction while throwing his hands up as well.

“Trust me, darling, he is in fact, not joking” Sirius spoke up while laughing where his head rested on his partner's shoulder. He was finding this entertaining for our weekly meet up at their place over the game that sits untouched on the low table.

“He has an entire plan laid out” Remus continued while running his hand through Sirius’ hair. “Went over the entire thing with us seven times”

James started drastically nodding at the words, grabbing a paper out of his long coat pocket and holding it out to me. The crumbled sheet had scribbles of times and seemingly romantic things all around it, all with a headline at the top.

“Beat Evans? What the Fuck does that have to do with fake dating me?”

“She's challenging me!” James spoke out, raising his voice and flinging the coat off. “Since our little fling in 6th year she’s been beating me on getting dates to things. I’ve had enough of it I’m not losing this one” The guys laughter rang through the air at he ran his hands through already messed up hair and fixed his glasses.

“So you want me to go to the game with you” James started nodding ever so dramatically “To prove you can get a date?” His nods increased as he started going over his entire plan aloud. Fake this fake that, going as far to say he’ll buy me anything I want. “Alright, I’ll do it”

Everyone's heads turned to look at me now, the room practically going silent as James cut off his own rambling in shock. It was as if time had frozen for a moment before Remus and Sirius started muttering amongst themselves. In an instant James started shouting that he knew I would get his side and poorly attempting to mock his friends for their disbelief in his plans. Somehow he managed to clock me before I could even ask my question.

“I’ll pick you up at 5, dress comfortably!”

-----

Keeping true to his word, James was there right on time, knocking at my door the moment the clock turned to 5. It shocked me to say the least when I opened the door and he was holding a small bundle of flowers. Offering them to me it took a moment before I could get myself to grab them, the smile covering his face surprising me as well.

Placing the bouquet on the table I took a second to catch myself matching the look on his face. My head swimming with confusion at the feeling I got from the simple gesture of flowers, something I wasn’t expecting yet probably should have, knowing the brunette man.

Turning back towards him I see James standing in the exact position he was before, eyes catching on mine for a moment before holding his arm out for me to grab a hold of. Doing so he nods and starts to walk forward dragging me with him.

----

We were at the quidditch game before I could even catch my thoughts, walking through the gate arms still linked together. The group waved us over instantly, practically matching how it was back at school.

“So I see you brought a guest that was already invited.” Lily spoke up with a giggle, obviously trying to rile James up.

“That doesn’t change the fact that they’re my date Evans” James responded with a small frown, her plan already working. “Right?” He asked, looking at me expectantly.

“Yea” I spoke back, nodding my head slightly in an attempt to be confident even with my voice sounding small. Everyone laughed and started walking to our seats, but instead of dragging me to follow, James pulled me aside with a questioning look of concern. “I’m alright, just a bit nervous” I said with all honesty, in response he nodded and started to drag me along with murmurs of checking up on me later on.

----

By the time James had walked me to my house after the game, the feeling of weird excitement I felt at the beginning had yet to go away. The entire time my stomach was full of butterflies at the mere sight of James. How he was acting the whole game had thrown me for a loop, his words seemed genuine and his actions romantic, even going as far as letting me rest my head on his shoulder when the game took a pause, something that normally wouldn’t be such an important gesture for friends, but for us it was beyond the norm.

Something seemed off about him too towards the end of the night. His normal confidence seemed to fade away, words shaking and stuttering as we left. And for once our walk was silent as he didn’t seem to have anything to say.

“I had fun tonight” I finally spoke up, breaking the awkward silence as we stood outside my door. James nodded in response, his eyes shifting every which way except for me. “Thank you for the flowers by the way, I forgot to say that earlier” At that his eyes lit up and caught mine in an instant.

“You liked them? I spent ages trying to find ones I thought you’d like” His voice was a mere whisper at the end, even with a hopeful smile on his face.

“They were beautiful” I whispered back, not being able to tear my eyes away from him.

Time seemed to be standing still, everything was moving in slow motion. Yet, it all happened suddenly. It was impossible to tell who moved in first but it really did not matter in the moment. All that mattered was his hands on my waist and his lips pressing up against mine, I could feel the unruly brown hair under my fingertips as I ran my hands through it. We were pressed together in a way I never thought about with him before, yet it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced.

We pulled away after what seemed like a decade at a random bark in the distance which pulled us both back into reality. Jumping back I hit against my door while James caught himself on the railings edge. His face was a bright red and I imagine mine was flush as well. This time I had nothing to say, but it looked like James did.

“That was nice” He said with a small smirk, some of his confidence obviously returning. I just nodded while trying to catch myself for the twentieth time that night. “Maybe we could go on a real date sometime? I can get you the flowers again!” The last part was pushed out quickly, almost like he was unsure of himself. This time with a smile I nodded, my voice refusing to work in any way.

I turned to open the door with shaky hands as he started to walk away, yelling out about owling me. I felt a giggle rise in my chest as the door finally opened. Right before I closed it I could've sworn I heard James talking to someone, but with how I was tonight I simply shrugged it off, the giddiness filling causing me to be too happy to care. A date with James Potter, something I never expected, but I've never wanted anything more.

Addition:

“Pads why are you following me” James spoke as the dog from before started walking next to him.

“He wanted to see if we were right, which we were” Remus said, rounding a corner in front of his friend. The dog transformed back into their friend at his words.

“I told you James” Sirius started to shout, “You’ve had feelings this whole time and that long ass kiss proved it!” His body was overwhelmed with emotion that he was practically bouncing around the walls, repeating himself over and over while his partner laughed and his friend blushed bright red.

#james potter #james x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #imagine #original writing #fanfic time #writers #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #james fanfic #james potter fanfiction #fluff #fake dating

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remuscore · 3 years

Note

Logan trying to make up for the eye thing, and being overly insistent on it

Once again I am testing myself with another Remus and Logan fic lmao.

Warnings: DO NOT TAG AS SHIP. Anyways there is a lot of gross eye talk in this including eye infections. Kinda related to another fic but you don’t need to read it to know what’s going on.

———————

The next time Logan sees Remus after the whole debacle from earlier this year, he’s still wearing the eye patch.

Logan rolls his eyes at first, thinking Remus was just being ridiculous or liking the look. He was just as dramatic and stupid as Roman was— in fact, Logan could say Remus was even more dramatic and stupid than his brother— so it wouldn’t be too far from normal if that was the truth. Remus just liked the look.

When he kept wearing it and didn’t discard it like he did with every other fad he got into, that’s when Logan actually began to worry. Just a little. It was Remus after all, you didn’t need to be too worried about him.

“Remus, why are you still wearing that eyepatch?” Logan asked. Seeing that bedazzled thing was starting to annoy him just as much as seeing Remus himself annoyed him. “Aren’t you worried about what that is doing to your vision? You are blind on one side now and taking it off after a long while of darkness could blind you as well.”

Remus looked at him like how Logan usually did.

“You serious?” He asked, eyebrows raised and smiling coyly. Logan huffed in frustration, fixing his glasses on his nose.

“That’s not—” Logan huffed again and shook his head. It wasn’t worth it trying to correct Remus’ grammar. “Yes, I am serious, Remus. I know arguing against you is pointless, but I don’t condone harmful actions towards yourself and—”

Remus took off the eyepatch, revealing gauze and medical tape covering his eye. Logan’s words metaphorically died on his tongue. His own eyes widen.

“I’m wearing it for a reason, dumby,” Remus laughed. Logan could see the cotton underneath the bandages was yellow and crusted with discharge. It needed to be changed. “Remember the knife you got thrown at me? Yeah, apparently eyes don’t heal very well in the mind palace.”

“Oh…” Logan said uselessly. He didn’t even think about that after it had happened. Healing was always so simple and easy, none of it was real, but Remus and Roman were both known to take their injuries more seriously than the others. Even more than Virgil or Patton did. “I didn’t… realize.”

Remus laughed again and leaned closer. The smell of the discharge was sour and horrible. It couldn’t have felt very comfortable either. It definitely needed to be changed. “Do you want to see it? It’s kinda cool.”

“I do actually,” Logan said, frowning. “It looks infected. Have you not been washing it out?”

Remus pinched his eyebrows together and his smile fell a little, confused. “What?”

“You need to wash it. That’s what all this wetness is,” Logan said. He reached towards Remus’ eye and peeled off the tape and gauze in one quick motion. Remus reeled back and covered it, hissing in pain. Logan took a step closer. “Sorry. Are you okay?”

“Why the hell did you do that?!” Remus shouted. He dropped his hand and glared at Logan, showing off the large white scar over his eye and the yellow discharged crusted on his eyelashes and waterline. His eye was red and irritated, almost as red as his iris. His pupil was in fact glassy and unfocused as Logan feared. “Goddamn it that hurt! Fuck!”

“Can you see out of that eye?” Logan stressed.

Remus blinked a couple times. Tears fell from that eye, trying to flush out as much as it could. He wiped at his cheek and covered the other eye, squinting with his injured one. “I mean… no, not really. It’s all blurry and white. But Janus looked at it, it’s fine.”

“This—” Logan held up the goop filled cotton that was still in his hand. “—is not fine. Remus, this means your eye is infected. Did Janus not try to clean it first before patching it up?”

“No.”

“Did you ever clean it? Or at least change out the bandages since then?”

“No and no,” Logan threw up his hands in exasperation. Remus dropped his hand, wiping away more pus and tears on the way down. “It’s not that bad—”

“This is that bad. Sit down so I can clean it properly.” Logan demanded, pointing at the table behind Remus. Remus looked back and immediately shook his head.

“Nah-uh, I’m not letting you anywhere near my eye.” He crossed his arms, still squinting and blinking.

“Remus—”

“No.”

“Remus—”

“No. Only Janus can touch my eye and myself when I feel like it.”

“Janus didn’t do it correctly and that’s why we are in this mess in the first—”

“Nope, we’re in this mess because you made him duck!” Remus pointed at him and then at his eye. “This is your fault! Not Janus’!”

“Then let me fix it!”

Remus let out a loud fake laugh. “Since when do you care!?”

Logan gaped in offense, clenching his fists. “I’ve always cared about what happens to you!”

Another laugh.

“You’ve always cared about what happens to Thomas, but this doesn’t affect Thomas, Buddy! This is—” Remus taps under his eye and hisses, pulling his hand away and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. His hands are sitting awkwardly at his sides, grasping at the empty air and cringing. He’s taking a few short breaths in his pain.

Logan rushes forward and grabs his arm, pulling him over to the table.

“Stop— hey!” Remus tries to object, but his knee meets one of the chairs when he tries opening his eyes again. His free hand comes up to touch his head, but Logan pulls it back down and helps seat him. “Stop touching me. Don’t—”

“Remus,” he interrupts in a much softer voice. Remus swallows and tries focusing on breathing. He was now clutching at Logan’s hand in a very tight and uncomfortable grip. His eyes are shut again and he’s stuck in the pain. Logan squeezed back. “I promise I’m just trying to lessen the pain. This is a serious injury and it’s infected. We need to clean it out before your eye becomes worse.”

The duke swallows again and nods.

#it speaks #remus sanders #logan sanders #fic #request #tw gore #tw eyes

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spencersstrawberryjello · 3 years

Text

Shitty Slasher Film (Spencer Reid + gn!MC - platonic)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8 (and minor season 7 spoilers but I figure if you’ve seen season 8 you’ve probably seen season 7 already lmao) MC and Spencer decide to go see a slasher film, but it takes a turn for the worse when the killer begins to stalk his victim.

Content: Hurt/Comfort (because literally what else do I write at this point)

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, depressive thoughts, and swearing

MC’s name and pronouns: Neither explicitly mentioned

Word Count: 2285

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The plan was simple.

We were going to see a new horror movie in the theaters - it seemed similar to a slasher film that Morgan, Garcia, Reid and I had seen like six or seven months ago, so I didn’t think anything of it when we booked the tickets. Morgan and Garcia couldn’t make it tonight, unfortunately, but we still elected to go on our own, thinking it would be a fun little outing. That was, until the film started.

The lights came up on a woman, walking through a back alley alone, at night. Typical. I even glanced over at Spencer and rolled my eyes a bit, and he grinned at the stereotypical horror movie trope.

She died, of course, and for the first half of the movie I genuinely thought it was going to be exactly what we assumed. We were laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, with the stupid special effects and the subpar acting. But everything went off the rails after the first half of the movie.

The killer had revealed his primary target, his endgame, and - much to my horror - he had begun to stalk her.

Scenes of her creating a disguise, moving houses, throwing away her phone, spun a dark web that I didn’t ever want to think about. But I had more pressing things to worry about than my fear at a movie that was literally intended to make you scared.

I glanced over at Spencer, and I could tell that his breathing had picked up. His hands were gripping the arms of the chair, knuckles as white as his face had turned. I put a hand over his, and his attention snapped to me.

“Hey, are you alright?” I asked him. It was a stupid question, and one I already knew the answer to, but it was the first thing I could think to say. He looked like he was weighing his options for a moment before he shook his head.

“Do you want to leave?” I followed. He nodded, eyes wild, and we quickly grabbed our bags and left, just as the stalker had pulled a gun on his victim. Spencer took one last look at the screen, watching with wide eyes as the victim begged for her life. It was like a trainwreck; he couldn’t take his eyes off the movie, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him as the stalker pulled the trigger, and the woman crumpled to the ground. He practically jumped out of his skin when the gunshots fired, and I grabbed his arm to usher him out.

I didn’t realize the full extent of his panic until we made it out of the theater, bursting through the doors into the significantly brighter lights of the hallway. He immediately sat down on the couch near the doors, head in his hands, breathing rapidly.

“Ok, you’ve gotta breathe, Reid. You’ve gotta breathe, alright? In through your nose, out through your mouth, can you do that?” I adjusted my breathing to fit the pattern, and saw that he had started to slow his as well. “Good, ok… we can sit here for as long as you need to, just focus on your breathing.”

He gave me an almost imperceptible nod, continuing to breathe slowly before lifting his head from his hands. His eyes were red, and it was clear he’d been trying to fight off tears.

“Reid, I’m so sorry -”

It was at that moment that he cut me off with a hug, tucking his head in the crook of my neck as I felt his body lightly shake with sobs. After a second I hugged him back, not used to physical affection from him, but not opposed as long as he was ok with it.

“It reminded you too much of Maeve, didn’t it?” I asked, trying to ensure that the story I had in my head was correct. He nodded, his breath coming in short gasps again, and I hugged him a bit tighter. “Reid, I’m so sorry, I never would’ve suggested this movie if I’d known the turn the story was going to take.”

He shook his head, sucking in deep breaths before finally attempting to speak. “No, no, it’s ok, I know that you wouldn’t have done this on purpose. It’s just…”

He trailed off, but I knew what he was trying to say. “I was there that day, Reid. I know how much she meant to you.��

“The girl in the movie kind of looked like her. You know? Same hair, same face shape… when I saw the fear in her eyes, all I could imagine was Maeve, terrified, with a gun to her head. The woman I love - loved. The woman I loved. Scared, and alone.”

“Oh, Reid… you know it’s not your fault, right? You did everything you could to save her.”

“No. No, I didn’t. I should’ve closed my eyes, I should’ve tackled Diane - hell, I should’ve shot that bitch the minute I walked into the room! Instead I stood there. I stood there while the woman I loved died in front of me, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Spencer.” I put my hands on his shoulders, pulling back from the hug to look into his eyes. “You absolutely cannot blame yourself for this. What happened to Maeve was horrible, but it was not your fault. And you can’t live your life with that on your conscience.”

“Maybe I deserve to.” His voice was soft as he tucked his head back into the crook of my neck, and I put my arms around him, one hand lightly rubbing his back. My heart broke for the man in my arms - my best friend - as he sniffled, a few stray tears still trickling down his face.

“You don’t deserve to live with that kind of guilt, Spencer. Guilt for something you didn’t even do. And I’m so, so sorry that you feel that way. And I’m so sorry about what happened.”

“Sorry doesn’t make it go away,” He argued, his voice muffled by the fabric of my t-shirt, “Sorry doesn’t bring her back.”

I heard his voice hitch when he said it, and I held him a bit tighter. “I know it doesn’t.”

He was silent for a moment before he spoke again, his voice thick with tears begging to be released. “I just wish I could bring her back.”

It was as if saying it broke something in him, and I felt his body shake as he cried again, consumed by grief and guilt unlike anything I could ever imagine. He was usually so closed off about his emotions that having him crying in my arms was a rare occurrence, even after years of friendship. The last time he was like this was after Emily’s… “death,” and even that wasn’t near as intense.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat on that bench, the orange lights of the movie theater hallway creating a strange liminal sensation as I held Spencer, finally releasing the emotions he’d clearly been pushing away since Maeve’s death.

Eventually, he stopped crying, his breathing returning to something close to normal, and he pulled away from me, his eyes red from tears.

“I’m sor -”

“Nope, do not even start to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

He closed his mouth, contemplating saying something else for a second before nodding, hugging me again.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Reid. Do you want to go back to my place? We can order a pizza, and watch a movie - something we know this time. If you need to be alone, I understand, but -”

He shook his head. “I’d like that.”

“Good,” I sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady my own breathing after everything that just happened, “Good. Are you ok to walk to the car?”

“Yeah… I’m not sure how talkative I’m going to be tonight though…” He kind of trailed off, clearly drained, but not wanting to be alone.

“I understand; you know there’s no expectations with me, Reid. If you want to just wrap yourself up in a blanket and eat junk food, I get it. I just want to be there, to make sure that you’re ok.”

He gave me a small smile, and I grinned, grabbing his hand to help him off the bench. We made our way out to my car, and I climbed in, starting it before turning on the radio.

Spencer was pretty much silent the entire drive back to my apartment, the noise in the car mostly consisting of the music and my less than stellar singing. When we finally pulled into the complex, we headed upstairs to my place.

“I’m gonna order the food. Do you wanna find something on Netflix you like?” I asked as I unlocked the door. He nodded, and I threw my keys on the kitchen counter, putting in the pizza order on my computer. I saw him grab a blanket from the basket in the living room, wrapping it around his shoulders and plopping down on my couch.

I expected to return to the living room to see whatever movie we were watching cued up on the TV. Instead, I saw Spencer, staring at the wall across from him, remote untouched on the coffee table.

“Hey,” I sat down next to him, gently putting one hand on his shoulder, “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

He was silent for a moment, and I could see the mental battle he was fighting. Eventually, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m afraid… I’m afraid that if I allow myself to grieve, if I allow myself to think about what happened, I won’t be able to stop. It’s been almost four months, I thought the pain would be gone by now. But it isn’t, it’s… I just miss her. I miss her so much.”

“I know, Reid. I know.”

He leaned into me, and I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around him, the thoughts of pizza and a movie completely abandoned in my mind. Instead, all of my attention was on Spencer as he spoke again.

“On the last case, Rossi talked to me. I told him that I wasn’t sleeping because whenever I did, I would dream of her. Of Maeve. And everytime I saw her, I felt nothing but relief flooding my mind. I told him how she would always ask me to dance, and how I always said no. I never even got to hold her when she was alive, and I was scared that if I gave into the fantasy, I would be lost forever,” He took in a shaky breath before he continued, “And he said I should. He said, ‘just let it happen, Spencer.’ So I did. I danced with her, I held her, and when I woke up, she was all I could think about. The way it felt to wrap my arms around her, the way her head fit perfectly into the crook of my neck while we danced. It took another day before I could think about anything but her, before I could stop wallowing in my grief enough to function. And since that night, I haven’t allowed myself to give into the fantasy again, the fantasy of having her back. I think… I think that if I let it happen again, I won’t be able to come back from it. It’ll just consume me.”

“Spencer…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. He just shook his head, telling me I didn’t need to say anything as we sat there on my couch in silence. He wasn’t crying, he hadn’t cried since we left the theater. He was just… hollow. Everything that he’d been trying to repress - to compartmentalize - had finally caught up to him, in the form of a shitty slasher movie that we’d gotten cheap tickets to see.

I held him tighter, wishing that I could figure out something to say to comfort him, to take away his pain. But I knew there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do but just be there.

“Have you ever considered talking to someone? Like, not someone from the team - a professional?” I asked.

“I’ve thought about it. But… we’re experts in human behavior, you know? What’s a therapist going to be able to tell me that I can’t already profile myself?”

“Well, it might be helpful to have a licensed professional to talk to about this stuff. Someone who can actually give you advice on how to handle your emotions. Because as much as I am absolutely here for you no matter what, I’m afraid I’m not great at mental health advice.”

“Yeah… maybe.” He sounded dubious about the idea, and while I wanted to encourage him further, I didn’t want to push him today. So I settled for just gently rubbing his back as he laid in my arms, staring at the wall. Eventually, the doorbell rang, and I got up to get the pizza, bringing it back into the living room and setting it down on the coffee table. By now, he’d sat up, the blanket still pulled around his shoulders, but at least a bit more present.

“Thank you,” He said, for the second time that day. I just smiled at him.

“Of course. I love you, Reid. And I’m always here, whatever you need.”

“I love you too,” He gave me a small smile back before turning his attention to the coffee table, “But I also love food - I’m starving.”

I laughed as I handed him a plate, joining him on the couch as we both dug in.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid hurt/comfort #criminal minds hurt/comfort #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst #best friends with spencer #platonic spencer reid #platonic hurt/comfort #angst #hurt/comfort #gn!MC #gender neutral mc

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atalho-s · 3 years

Text

Sweet Sugar

1 | Subterranean Homesick Alien

(gif it’s not mine! let me know if you’re the owner!)

pairing: tom holland x reader / tom holland x brazilian reader (she’s from brazil here, but you can picture her being of any place that you want! Since the story wouldn’t change bc of that)

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut, but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.4 k

Summary: Y/n has always been best friends with Harrison and Tom. Since childhood they've always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom?

A conflict of feelings, the non-acceptance of falling in love and the fear of losing her best friend, all in the head of an 17-year-old teenager. And on top of that, still having to fear of not being accepted for college.

a/n:

This is a series i have in portuguese on my wattpad! It’s kinda long and have 2 parts haha but i decided to translate to post here too :)

It was my first fanfic ever, so be aware lol

I never been to europe, so i’m sorry for any mistake about city features or how school works...

I just want to thank @petesrparker : Gio you’re the best and thank you for always helping me and hype up this series since the beginning! Seriously, you’re the best, this story would be nothing without you 😭❤

She even did a playlist for this! ikr? She’s amazing 💕 you can check out here if you want!

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁

It was 2 minutes to 7am and I was late for school. Running to put on my warm sweatshirt and getting ready psychologically to go out in a cold weather, I grabbed my keys and tried to lock the door almost dropping my backpack on the floor. It was almost summer, but my town wasn't disappointed in having very cold mornings and hot afternoons.

"Shit," I murmured as I kicked the door, insisting that didn't want to close it. "Why hasn't my mom called someone to fix this thing yet?" I spoke to myself and finally managed to close it hearing a click. Coming down the stairs practically running, I closed the small gate and strode down the street.

I lived with my parents in a town called Kingston-upon-Thames, in a tiny two-bedroom house, very close to the school. You just need to walk about 4 blocks and voilá, I could already see the entrance gate and the familiar faces of the gringos. I was in the last year of high school, just turned 17 and I was born in Brazil, but grew up in London, when my father had to move because of his work, when I was only 6 years old. Obviously we weren't rich, my father worked with woodwork, and my mother currently worked in a small flower shop in the city center. But when my father received an offer to move to another country, he didn't think twice. Learn another culture, a new language and still earn some good money?An offer that cannot be refused.

The first time we arrived it was very strange, only my father knew intermediate English and my mother and I obviously did not know a single word. But we quickly befriended a family that lived on our street: the Osterfields. Jenna and Carter were the parents of two children: Harrison, the same age as me and little Charlotte (newborn at the time). Harrison and I immediately became inseparable, and he became like a brother to me and our families became one.

Obviously with him, also came nothing more and nothing less than: the Holland family. Nikki and Dom had 4 male children, one my age: Tom, Harry and Sam twins, 3 years younger and Paddy who was born 2 years later. So the family just grew, our parents became best friends, and me, Harrison and Tom became an unbeatable trio. There was no Y/n, without Tom and Harrison and vice versa, we're always together.

We went to the same school since always. As Haz lived only a few houses below mine, we meet and go together and Tom, who lived on the other side of the school, met us at the gate every day.

I went down the street and saw Haz sitting on the wall in front of his house, fiddling with his cell phone with a earphone, as soon as I approached he raised his head and smiled.

- Finally, I thought you aren’t going to class today. - He said getting up and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

- Good morning to you too Haz. - I said laughing and hooking my arm on him, while we went down the street. - You know that now that my mom is working on the other side of town she leaves early and then I have to wake up by myself, which is clearly a problem.

- Sleepyhead, - he said and I playfully tapped his arm while he laughed.

- Well, i'm, what can I say? Sleeping is the best thing in the world. - I said. - Did you do the history homework?

- Wich history homework? - He stopped suddenly looking at me in shock.

- Harrison Osterfield, you are not going to tell me that you forgot the work that I talked about it every day for almost a month. - I said putting my hand on my waist scolding him.

- Well ... I completely forgot. - Haz said scratching the back of his head with the face of a stray dog. -I was busy decorating the lines from the play.

- Wow Harrison, that way you will fail and then you'll came crying to me.

- Ok mom, sorry! But was it for today? Can I copy it and give it to you later?

- Ok, but just this time, and do me a favor to exchange practically all the words I used or i'll be in trouble. - I said taking out my briefcase, while he held my backpack and I handed him my work.

- I love you... - he said giving me back my backpack and hugging me, kissing my head afterwards.

- And I don't love you at all, bummer. - I giggled and we rounded the corner of the school.

Tom was already leaning against the side of the gate with his backpack between his legs, talking to a guy who was doing theater with him and Harrison. He was laughing at something, wearing a black hoodie, his hair was a little messy under his hood and his nose was slightly red from the cold. For some reason my stomach did some flips as we approached.

Harrison and Tom were very handsome, there was no denying it, they were half nerds, half bad boys (in the sense of forgetting to study for the exam or not doing their homework once in a while), they did theater, they were nice and got along very well with girls since they started puberty. As for me, I was the nerd who was always concerned about grades and getting into the journalism college, I didn't always have excellent grades, but they were enough to pass or impress the professors when I felt inspired. I wasn't popular, but not a completely ghost too, because being best friends with the boys ended up calling attention in some way.

The only boyfriend I had was a guy named Steven, and also my first kiss, to at age 15, but we broke up last year. Steven was cool, but we had different views on things and use to think about completely different futures, so we thought it was best to broke up. And since then I'm alone and very well, thank you.

But since I broke up with Stev, for some reason I've started to have some weird feelings for Tom. Weird in the meaning of being shy around him, with whatever he does, or whatever words he exchanges with me. Which is ridiculous, because he's my childhood friend, and I never felt any of that with Haz, so why with him I feel? I always saw Haz as my brother, but with Tom it's different, and I never understood why.

Anyway, here I was with my heart beating faster and faster as we approached. As soon as we got close, Tom waved goodbye to the guy he was talking. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and patted Haz on the back, kissing my forehead afterwards, which I immediately feel my cheeks burning with embarrassing, but no one realized.

- Hey mates! Finally! I thought you weren't coming anymore.- he said as the three of us went through the gate towards the school.

- The madam here, was the one who ended up sleeping too much, I was also waiting a long time.- Haz said and I rolled my eyes, making Tom smile.

- I understand Y/n, I also love sleeping... By the way, I said I was waiting a long time, but actually I just arrived. - He laughed - Your mother started working on that flower shop, right?

- Yeah! She started today, so I'm still getting used to waking up just with the alarm without my mom pulling me from under the covers by my hair.- I replied and they both laughed.

- Which class do you guys have now? - Tom asked as we went up the stairs to the first floor where the class rooms were.

-Math- Haz said, rolling his eyes. - Actually, I really have to go, because if I show up a second late again Mr. Jones will kill me. - he said giving us a brief wave and running to the opposite side.

- I have philosophy, thank God, one of my favorite subjects.- I said raising my hands to the sky as a joke and Tom laughed.

- Wow y/n, I thought your favorite subject was biology and English.- he said and I stuck out my tongue, but feeling a little warm inside, these subjects were the ones we had together.

- Anyway, see you later? I have physics now unfortunately.

- Yeah, I'll be at our new favorite place. - I giggle, it had been a week since me, Haz and Tom found a perfect place to stay during the break, which was on the back of the school, on a hill next to a tree, where we had a full view of the students down there. It was perfect, because the warm morning sun was shining and we'd be left on the ground gossiping and watching what others were doing.

- See you there shortie. -Tom said kissing the top of my head, giving me a wink and leaving towards his class room.

- Look who's talking. - I said loudly for him to hear and he showed me his middle finger from a distance, laughing at my face.

I turned around smiling and headed towards my class. The first two classes were normal, nothing new, I was still a little sleepy, so I ended up almost sleeping in the second geography class, where I was almost kicked out by Mr Wilson, who let It pass this time. The alarm hit indicating it was break time and I thanked God, practically running to stay out in the sun.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and my headphones, hitting play on Radiohead's Subterranean Homesick Alien song and walking outside. I saw Steven with his new girlfriend Lily right on the way out, they were talking, hugging each other and looked very happy, he saw me and gave a smile from a distance where I reciprocated. Our break up went very well, without resentment, which made me happy.

I walked up the small hill and saw Haz and Tom already at our meeting place. Tom was lying down looking at the sky while Haz was sitting propped up in the tree.

- Did you guys miss me? - I said sitting next to Haz.

- Yeah, we were even thinking about how we could handle living without you y/n- Haz said and Tom chuckled.

- I know you two love me. - I said shrugging.

- In fact, we were arguing when you're going to have a new boyfriend. - Tom said and I froze.

- And who said I want a new boyfriend? I asked raising my eyebrow.

- We know you y/n, you starting to have your head in the clouds lately, always retweeting couple things and posting romantic songs, I can see that you're falling in love again.- Tom said, still looking at the sky.

- I agree. - Haz said taking the side of my earphone and putting into his ear. - She's even listening to Radiohead! And you always listen to Radiohead when you're in love. - I gave them a sarcastic laugh and pulled the earphone of his ear turning off the music making Haz laugh.

- You guys are idiots, I'm fine alone thank you, I just want to focus on my studies from now on. - I said and they both made a "hmm" in unison, making me roll my eyes.

- Actually, we were discussing where we're going to celebrate my 17th birthday tomorrow.- Tom said changing the subject, turning his head and covering the sun with his hand to look at me.

-Tomorrow is your birthday?- I asked pretending to be surprise and Tom rolled his eyes playfully.

- I know you two always look forward to my birthday, because you love me and want to surprise me.- he said and Haz and I laughed ironically. - But Marcos offered his house, because his parents are traveling, so we could make a cool party there! So I was thinking about calling the theater people and some of our friends like Julian, Tuwaine and etc, maybe getting some drinks too... - Tom said sitting down and cleaning some leaves that were stuck on his hoodie.

- I think it's a good idea, I'm not much of partying or drinking, but with you both I always have fun.- I said and Haz rested his head on my shoulder.

- Good to know we make you happy Y/n. - Haz said and I giggle patting his head.

- So we meet tomorrow? You guys want to stop by my house so we could go together?

- Actually, I have to go to my granny first, so I'll go from there.- Haz said and Tom gave him a thumbs up.

- Y/n you can go? Around 7pm it's ok?

-Of course Tommy. - I said and he smiled at the nickname.

- Okay, I'll wait for you at 7pm and I'll send you the address, mate.- he said to Haz as we got up listening to the bell ringing indicating the break was over.

- Deal!- Haz said.

- Deal. - I also said as we went down back to class.

The last classes were history, the subject I had with Haz and he returned my homework, assuring me that he had changed the words. We spend the whole class sending notes talking about nonsense and making jokes. Haz and I were pretty good at sending notes without the professor seeing.

But I confess I was puzzled by what the boys had said earlier, how did they have the impression that I was in love? I wasn't, was I? Was I showing too much that i had feelings for Tom? I don't know, I just know that the whole story had left me with immense anxiety.

The class was over and I said goodbye to Haz, because he had theater with Tom and I didn't have any extra activities that day. The only days that i had something was on monday, tuesday and thursday, when I have a school reinforcement to improve my notes to enter college. Which was a relief, since I had to run to the mall to look for a gift to give Tom for his birthday. I had been looking for weeks and I didn't find anything interesting to give to my best friend. Best friend isn't it? Nothing more than this...

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁

a/n: if you liked and want to be tagged on the next chapters let me know! 😊

#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland friends to lovers #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland series

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defilerwyrm · 3 years

Note

⭐️ Bei Mir Bist Du Schön

FIC SPOILERS AHEAD!

Bei Mir Bist Du Schön on AO3

He opened his mouth to thank Essek but what came out instead was, “Deine Augen sind wunderschön.”

Essek stared at him, perfectly neutral save for the subtle rise of stark white eyebrows. “I don’t speak Zemnian,” he said, flashing his customary, placid little smile.

This is early Essek, well before c2e097, so this is a fully calculated move. That stare is him running simulations in his head, as it were, weighing his options, and he finally decides that he can learn more about Caleb if the guy thinks he doesn’t understand these little asides.

And boy did he ever just learn something juicy.

The second time, he was feeling petulant. Essek was normally a very patient and talented teacher, but there came a time when they butted heads over the best way to work a spell: Essek’s experience and Caleb’s contradicted each other, and neither was willing to admit that he was wrong because they weren’t. Caleb couldn’t have said why they were getting spirited over it. It was unlike them to lock horns this way, and the condescension chafed fiercely.

To my understanding, Wildemount never—at least post-Calamity—had a continent-spanning culture like the Roman Empire that would standardize learning across regions, and the Empire and Dynasty have utterly lacked in cultural exchange pretty much throughout their histories; so I reason that their approach to magic must be very damn different right down to the fundamentals. But, I also reason, magic is like math, in that there’s more than one way to come to a given conclusion—so the same spell cast by an Imperial mage might use different theory and somatic/verbal components with the same results.

I love fic that plays homage to cultural differences, so I figured that there must surely come a point where Caleb and Essek quibble about how to do a thing, with the crux being that they’re both right.

In a fit of pique, he muttered, “Du hast Glück, dass du abartig schön bist, denn du bist so ein Arsch.”

Essek’s head whipped up so fast that, for a moment, Caleb thought maybe he understood after all—but Essek just squinted at him without recognition and said, “I beg your pardon?”

Essek’s poker face is doing triple duty here because Caleb just said he’s hot af but also a dick, and this isn’t a sentiment Essek hasn’t heard before, but it hasn’t really gotten under his skin like it does this time.

Caleb passed a hand over his face and scratched at the beard he desperately needed to shave off. “Nothing,” he lied, “just annoyed with myself. This should be a moment of discovery, now that we know this can go either way. A door has unlocked and we’re both pulling it shut. Can we start again?”

The slip, and Essek’s reaction to it, made Caleb realize that they were both being dillweeds about the whole thing and it wasn’t going to move them forward at all.

It was—of course, of fucking course the intonation mattered. “A tonal shift,” he breathed. He took Essek by the lapels of his robe and shook him gently, and blurted out, “Ich könnte dein Gehirn küssen und dann deinen Mund.”

“What the hell is going on,” Nott squeaked at the same time as Essek chuckled almost nervously, “Caleb, I don’t—”

Hot boi damn near let the cat out of the bag right here. It’s certainly not that he specifically did not want to be smooched at all, but more that 1) Nott was RIGHT THERE so it would be mortifying, 2) he’s still very D: about physical contact and this point, and 3) he’s still very privately going “fuck fuck fuck WHY a HUMAN” about his own attraction to Caleb. There is very much a part of him that Wants That, but the rest of him is just not coping with it at all just yet.

The following morning, though, all he could think about was Dein Bett wäre besser and Essek’s careful fingers touching his face.

Both of them are fully mortified with themselves. They’re ridiculous. I see Caleb heading back to the Xhorhaus with shoulders bunched up, brow furrowed, and wide eyes glued to his own feet as his brain screams “DEIN BETT WÄRE BESSER” at him, mockingly, over and over. Slipping up and confessing your attraction to your crush is relatably horrifying (gods, I’ve been there, it’s awful) and Caleb is predisposed to beat himself up to begin with. Add in the rest of the party making a big deal over the fact that he spent the night over at Essek’s towers and you’ve got an abject storm in that little ginger head of his.

It did not help matters that no matter how much he insisted that nothing happened, the Mighty Nein were dead set on believing that he’d slept with his mentor, and they spent the next three days teasing him about it, none of them aware that he was simultaneously tormenting himself.

Okay so I try to be good and not talk shit about my own work these days, but that sentence just landed in a belly flop for me. I’m not sure it actually gets across what I’d meant, which was that Caleb was beating himself up for a different reason than what they all thought.

In the midst of a messy ambush by three of the wolf-cat eye-beasts, one of them managed to get the drop on Caleb, and it pinned him, screaming, to the ground. Its claws dug fiery punctures into either side of his chest. He thrashed, trying to get both hands up to cast, but it would be too late—his reflexes weren’t good enough. His body had never been nearly as sharp as his mind, and he was about to pay the price in the form of massive, dagger-like fangs lunging towards his throat. He screamed again, chest nearly frozen with fear, when—

Adventurers are generally made of tough stock, but I really wanted to dig into the POV of someone who’s being attacked by a terrifying cerature intent on ripping them apart. “You take 12 piercing damage and are knocked prone” is mechanical and dry; I wanted to show the full in-character implications of those mechanics.

Another fic that represents game mechanics narratively to absolutely stunning affect is Hard Mouth by road_rhythm, which I cannot recommend highly enough. I wrote Bei Mir before Hard Mouth started posting but had it been the other way around, it 100% would have been an inspiration in that regard.

He could not help but murmur, “Götter, ich bins so verschossen in dich.”

Fun fact: I got myself the book Talking Dirty German specifically for writing Caleb dialogue, and it really came in handy here. This idiom is from that book, as did abartig schön. The literal translation is “Gods, I am so shot into you,” which coming to think of it sounds a wee bit dirty but is figuratively very sappy.

Speaking of sappy….

“Das Gefühl ist Gegenseitig,” came the warm and sleepy reply.

Part of this is Essek being barely-conscious, but the bulk of it is this—and this is basically giving away the whole way the fic progresses: pretending not to know Zemnian began as a manipulation tactic to get intel, then became a game of “Let’s see how long it takes you to figure this out, smart boy” as their bond grew and Essek stopped deliberately trying to throw Caleb off, and finally when they were a couple he figured it would be cruel and pointless to keep up the ruse, especially since he’d been growing to appreciate pet names in their mother tongues.

Caleb took a deep breath, set his tea aside, and launched himself at Essek, who yelped, laughing, and danced out of his grasp. Essek led him on a merry chase around the kitchen and held out as long as he could before crying mercy at Caleb’s vicious tickling.

You know, I probably shouldn’t point this out in case my readers hadn’t cottoned onto it yet either, but it wasn’t until like a week after publishing this that I stopped and thought, “WTF happened to Essek’s teacup? Did he take the time to set it down? Did it get dropped and shatter? Did he show off and levitate it?? Did he bring it with him and get tea all over the place and himself?!” Smh…. Choose your own explanation, I guess, lmao.

The rolls were a little burnt that morning, but Caleb had no regrets.

Part of me feels like this is kind of a weak ending, but I justify it to myself by remembering how hard Caleb regretted his slip-ups over the course of the fic. He spends a good bit of copy beating himself up over them, so ultimately I think it fits, even if it kinda lacks punch.

#ask box games #shadowgast #before long my song is dying #critical role #plz how do i fandom

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slytherinbarnes · 3 years

Text

Sub Rosa [96]

xii. the stranger

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: angst, fighting, violence, blood, language.

Summary: faced with the aftermath of bellamy’s betrayal, you finally get a chance to talk to him, only to discover that he may be too far gone.

a/n: i do not know what to say in these notes right now bc i just know yall are cussing me out with every update lmao the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

You sit on the flimsy mattress beside your twin, your hand held tight in her own, both of your expressions contemplative as you try to figure out what the hell is going on. Across from you, Octavia sits on her own bed, looking at you both, a soft laugh slipping from her mouth. You and Clarke lift your gazes to her in tandem, and Clarke looks at Octavia with mild annoyance. “Something funny? Because I don't see anything humorous about this.”

“I’m laughing because I’m realizing just how much I missed the Twinadoes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you both together.”

Clarke’s expression softens, her curiosity causing her to ask, “How long were you on Penance?”

“We call it Skyring. 10 years, good ones.”

You smile, remembering some of your better memories from Skyring. Cooking with Gabriel, chess with Orlando, braiding flowers into Echo and Hope’s hair. You whisper, “They were.”

Clarke turns to look at you in confusion, unaware of how long you’ve been apart. “You were there?”

“Not with Octavia, Diyoza, and Hope. We came later, the four of us: me, Gabriel, Echo, and Hope.”

“How long were you there?”

“Five years.”

Her jaw drops in shock, “It’s been five years for you?”

You nod and you see tears in her eyes. She drops your hand to pull you in a hug, and you're grateful for it, grateful to be back with your twin, even if it is in a jail cell. “Oh my god, la lune. I’m so sorry, we had no idea or we would have come sooner.”

You shake your head, pulling away to smile at her. “It’s not your fault, Clarke. It was only a few days for you, there’s no way you could have known.”

She looks at you, and you can tell she wants to know more, but she hesitates, not wanting to push you. You read her mind and look between her and Octavia. “It was hard at first. Really hard. The first few months...all I could think about was saving Bellamy and Octavia, and getting back to you and Madi. But over time, Gabriel, Echo, Hope, and Orlando wore me down. I started to warm up to them, and then one day I woke up and I realized that I hadn’t worried about the time at all the day before. I felt guilty about that at first, but once I stopped religiously counting down the days, time went faster after that. It wasn’t so bad in the end. We had peace, and we became a family, sharing meals and stories. And even though I missed both of you, and Bellamy, and Madi and the rest of our family, I was happy.”

Octavia and Clarke can sense that you have more to say, and Clarke reaches out to grab your hand again, prepared to console you. “And then we got here, to Bardo, and it was worse than I could have imagined. Because in the five years it took for us to play house on Skyring, Bellamy was killed here. I let myself relax too much, and he ended up dead. All those years of training...for nothing.”

Clarke squeezes your hand, and you glance at her before looking away, tears welling up in your eyes as you remember the loss you felt three months ago. “I lost it when I found out, which is why I can’t blame Echo for nearly crystallizing us all. She knew how hard all of this has been on us, and she tried to do what she thought was best to make things right again. She went about it the wrong way, but her heart was in the right place. Anyways, I do believe there are good people on this planet, but I know that Cadogan is not one of them. I want nothing more than to get the hell off Bardo. Nothing good has happened to me here, besides reuniting with all of you, and I just want to escape.”

“Me too.”

“Too bad my brother betrayed us to a man he just met.” Octavia sighs, turning her gaze to Clarke. “You know, I was just starting to understand you, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. We’ll probably be dead soon anyways.”

Clarke’s brows pull together as she looks at Octavia, “Really? How so?”

“You have Madi, I have Hope. I'd do anything to keep her safe.” She scoffs a little, tears welling up in her eyes, and you and Clarke both look at her with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“A couple of days ago, she was just our little girl. Now she's messed up like the rest of us.”

You and Clarke both stand from your bed and move over to Octavia’s, splitting apart to sit on either side of her. Octavia takes one of your hands and one of Clarke’s, and the three of you sit together in silence, sorrow hanging over all of you as you think of the tragedies you’ve all experienced. And as the three of you sit together, the door to your cell slides open and Bellamy steps inside, looking different from the last time you saw him. His hair is cut and his beard is gone, his face clean shaven for the first time in a long time. It reminds you of the Bellamy you first met on the Ark, in more ways than one. Because this Bellamy is just as much of a stranger to you as that Bellamy was.

Bellamy walks inside the room, his white robes flowing, flanked by two guards on either side of him. You look at him in shock and cock your head to the side, masking your hurt with your anger. “You need back up to talk to us now?”

He turns to glance at the guards behind him, waving them out of the room. “It’s okay.”

As they step out of the room and the door slides shut behind them, the three most important women in Bellamy Blake’s life stand, a wall of strength and anger as they look at him. You are the first to break the silence, looking at your fiance in disbelief. “It’s about time. Bellamy, what the hell was that?”

Before he can answer, Clarke adds, “I have been racking my brain, trying to figure out how you telling Cadogan the truth about the Flame helps us. You know what I've come up with? It doesn't.”

Bellamy’s voice is soft, sounding conflicted as he shakes his head slightly. “I couldn't lie to him.”

Octavia snaps, “Really? Why not?”

He glances over at her, then Clarke, then you, relaying his reasoning on his change in behavior. “I had an experience, something that changed me to my core, something that explains why we're still here and where we're going. It came to me in a vision. Mom was there.”

Octavia gives him a weird look, unconvinced, and he continues, “The Shepherd led me to her, and there was a light, and it was beautiful and warm and peaceful, and I chose it. And when I opened my eyes, the storm had passed, just like that.”

You, Clarke, and Octavia share a bewildered look, and you look at your fiance, your anger softening a little as you take in his hurt expression. “Bellamy, I love you, you know that, but this sounds...crazy.”

He turns to you, his eyes widening slightly as he takes in your confused expression. “Natshana, I know how this sounds, but it’s real.”

You flinch a little when he uses the nickname, your brain struggling to see the man you love in the disciple in white that stands before you. He sees you flinch, and a look of hurt passes over his face before he turns to look at all of you again. “A war is coming, the Last War we will ever fight. Win it, and we become the light.”

Clarke snaps, “Is that what the cult leader told you?”

She turns and starts to pace, as Octavia steps forwards and adds, “Did he tell you what happens if we lose?”

“We won't.”

Octavia shakes her head, telling him anyways. “We turn into crystal, wiped out like Medusa, turning people into stone. It's the end of everything.”

“Not everything, just us.”

“Just us?” You look at him in confusion. “Bellamy, everything we have done, we have done to survive. To help our people survive. And now you’re willing to risk everything on Cadogan’s insistence that we’ll win the Last War?”

He gives you a conflicted look, giving you a flash of hope that maybe he isn't gone forever. But then he pushes it away and looks over all of you, his voice growing louder and more insistent as he tries to convince all of you that him following Cadogan is not as weird as you think it is. “If I told you the AI that destroyed the Earth was storing our minds in the City of Light, would that be any more believable? What about a group of astronauts turning themselves into gods by transferring their minds into the bodies of their own followers in order to live forever?”

Exasperated, Clarke sighs, stopping her pacing to turn to Bellamy and throw her hands up in frustration. “Okay, yes! We've seen our share of crazy, but that doesn't change the fact that fighting some war to become the light is as ridiculous as the clothes you're wearing.”

He pulls a face, hurt by her comment on his clothes, but he pushes past it. “There's one way to find out: tell me where the Flame is.”

Clarke’s denial is firm and resolute. “No.”

“Clarke, yesterday, you were offering it up in exchange for safe passage.”

“Yesterday, I was bluffing! I made a deal to save my twin and my friends, knowing damn well I had no intention of following through with it. Today, I'm standing in front of my best friend, who I thought was dead, and I don't even recognize him.”

His expression is hurt, tears springing into his eyes as he steps closer to all of you, his gaze locked on Clarke. “I am the same person who helped bring you back from the dead, who refused to give up on you. There is so much more at stake here than you know.”

He turns to you, making his final, teary eyed plea to you. “I know you don't believe in transcendence, but I'm telling you it's real, and I am asking you to believe in me.”

You glance at Clarke and Octavia, their expressions letting you know that believing in Bellamy means believing in Cadogan. Something the three of you are determined not to do. Because even though you love Bellamy with all that you are, and you want to believe him, you know that this isn’t right. He betrayed all of you in the blink of an eye for a man that he thought was crazy back on Earth, and you’re worried just how far his devotion to Cadogan will go. You can tell something happened to Bellamy, something changed him, and you’re willing to listen to him to find out what that is, but you’re not willing to support Cadogan.

Which is why you turn back to Bellamy, trying to ignore the tears in his eyes, your voice sounding soft, but regretful. “Even if you're right, even if everything you're saying is true, we will not help that man start his war.”

He looks from you to Clarke to Octavia, seeing if they agree with you. When they make no move towards him, or say nothing to dispute your claim, he shakes his head and looks down at his feet. You can see him visibly recompose himself before he looks back up at Clarke. “Tell me where the Flame is.”

Octavia locks eyes with her brother, asking, “Or what?”

“I’m trying to save you! All of you, but if you don't tell me where it is, they will execute all of you. Please let me help.”

Your eyes widen at the word execute. It's one thing for the three of you to speculate that you're facing death, it’s another to have Bellamy confirm that they're ready to kill all of you if you won’t give them what they want. And despite the shaky intake of breath that you hear Clarke take, her answer to Bellamy’s request is unwavering. “Go float yourself.”

You turn and step back towards Clarke, the sadness in the room shifting to anger again. Octavia gives Bellamy a disappointed look before she turns towards you and Clarke, all of you turning your backs on Bellamy, standing together and comforting each other, waiting for him to leave. But instead of leaving, he sighs and calls out, “Guards.”

The three of you hesitantly turn towards the door, watching as four guards step into the room. Bellamy looks them all over before motioning towards Clarke. “Take this one to M-Cap.”

Clarke gives him an incredulous look, “What?!”

The guards close in on Clarke, and the two of you exchange a panicked look as they grab her arm and start to pull her towards the door. You jump towards her, trying to grab the hand that is reaching out for you. You’re all too familiar with the pain of M-Cap, and it’s not a pain that you want Clarke to experience. “La lune!”

“Clarke!”

As your hand closes around hers, you are pulled backwards by your other arm, one of the other guards in the room stopping you. You turn and punch him, getting him off of you, trying again to run after Clarke. As she is pulled out of the door, you hear Octavia protesting, but she is stopped in place by her brother. You run after your twin, barely making it past Bellamy before you are grabbed from behind and yanked backwards, onto the ground. One of the guards pins your arms to the floor while the other grabs you by the front of your shirt and punches you, pain exploding behind your left eye and cheekbone. They hit you again, blood blooming across your tongue as you accidentally bite down from the force. A third punch smashes your nose, and you're sure you can feel blood trickling down to your mouth, though it’s hard to think much past the pain.

You can hear Octavia yelling at her brother and Bellamy yelling commands at the guards, but your brain doesn't process them, too focused on the pain in your face. You feel your wrists being released, the weight of someone’s body leaving you, your body now free to roll onto your hands and knees and spit black blood onto the stone floor. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you flinch before Octavia’s soft voice whispers, “La lune, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You spit again, pulling yourself to your feet, your anger flaring white hot as you turn towards Bellamy, your earlier sympathy now gone. “What the hell was that?”

He looks over your face, at the blood dripping from your nose, the bruise blooming along your skin, and you can see a flash of worry cross his features as he urges, “You shouldn’t fight them, the Shepherd authorized them to-”

You cut him off, your voice loud, “I don’t care! Bellamy, what are you doing? Letting guards beat me up, sending Clarke to be tortured? This isn’t you!”

He shakes his head, another hurt look on his face. Five minutes ago, you wanted to comfort him through his conflict, hear about what he went through. But right now, your mind thinking of your twin in danger, a danger he sent her to, you want to hit him. You want to punch those puppy dog eyes until they swell shut. But you keep your cool and control your anger as he shakes his head. “It’s not torture.”

You let out a short laugh, pushing your hair out of the way to show him the scar on the right side of your face that runs beneath your level two symbols and into your hairline. “It is if you fight it, and you know damn well she will.”

“All she has to do is tell us where the Flame is, and we’ll let her go. We’ll let you go.”

“No way in hell are we going to give Cadogan what he wants. The Bellamy I love would be right beside me, opposed to doing anything for the crazed cult leader that’s so determined to start a war.”

Bellamy shakes his head, “He’s not a cult leader, and he doesn’t want to start a war. He wants us to transcend, to have real peace.”

“Do you hear yourself? War has never brought us peace, Bellamy. Only death and pain. But let’s say that Cadogan is right, and we do win this war and transcend. Torturing your friends, your family, people you love, watching us be locked up and potentially executed is not the way to do it. Doing the right thing the wrong way isn’t doing the right thing. You know that.”

“I’m trying to save all of you.”

You shake your head at him, in disbelief that the two of you are on opposite sides. After everything with Pike, you were sure that you’d never be on opposite sides again, especially not for something this big, yet here you are. You don't have the energy to argue with him right now, because he clearly believes in Cadogan, or wants to believe in Cadogan, and you’re sure that nothing you say will change his mind. So you turn away from him, shaking your head in disappointment, angrily swiping blood from your nose before muttering, “Get out.”

“La lune, please-”

You spin around and cut him off, your voice loud. “Don’t call me that! My family calls me la lune, and as long as you’re wearing those robes and worshipping the Shepherd, you are not my family, you are my enemy.”

You wait for his face to fall before you snap, “Now get out!”

This time, he obliges, turning away from you quickly, knocking on the door to alert the guards on the other side. As soon as he’s out of your cell and the door is closed, you collapse onto your flimsy mattress, your anger finally giving way to your tears. Octavia crosses the room and sits down beside you, the two of you wrapping your arms around each other and crying as you try to come to terms with who Bellamy is now.

A few hours after Clarke is dragged from the cell, your door opens again. You and Octavia stand, expecting it to be her, but instead it is a group of disciples, all of them pointing weapons at you as they demand, “Back against the wall, hands out in front of you!”

You and Octavia do as they say, stepping backwards and pressing your backs to the wall as you hold out your hands. A guard walks over to you and slips a pair of cuffs onto your wrists, a thick metal bar holding your arms apart, before they grab your arm and drag you to the door. You and Octavia are dragged through the halls of Bardo and led to the Stone Room, much to your surprise. As the doors open, you see that your friends are already here, lined up against the wall. Everyone looks at you in surprise, now more injured than the last time they saw you, but you shake off their worry, letting them know you’re okay.

Octavia is led towards the end of the line, pushed between Hope and Niylah, while you are stopped at the opposite end, pushed between Gabriel and Jordan. Another disciple walks over and places a helmet at your feet before taking one down to Octavia, all of you now standing in a row with disciple helmets nearby, waiting for what’s next. Two disciples stand near the stone, and two more stand near the door, everyone waiting in silence, but Gabriel can't resist the urge to whisper, “Are you okay?”

“Looks worse than it is.” You smirk at him, trying to ease his tension, and he smiles back, right before one of the disciples snaps, “No talking!”

Less than a minute later, the doors to the room slide open. Two disciples stop just outside the door as two more walk inside, taking up their posts. Behind them is Cadogan, followed by Bellamy and the man that is likely replacing Anders, whose name you don't know. Behind them is Clarke, unrestrained, her eyes searching the line of prisoners until her eyes lock with you. Her expression drops at the sight of all of you restrained, but it drops further when she sees the bruise already darkening around your eye. “Why are they still restrained? We had a deal.”

You look at her, your eyes glancing at Cadogan, who has taken up a spot in front of the stone. “Clarke, what is this? What deal?”

“He releases all of us, and I take him to the Flame.”

Bill turns around, his gaze falling to Clarke. “You'll forgive me if I have trust issues where you're concerned.”

He turns to look at the man replacing Anders. “Remove the restraints one at a time. Any violence will be met with lethal force.”

Bellamy looks at you, his expression a warning as he addresses your group. “No one is getting violent. It's a good thing, you're being released.”

The man moves down to Miller first, slipping off his restraints before motioning down to the helmet on the floor. “Helmet on to protect your memory.”

Miller leans down and grabs the helmet, turning to look at Clarke as the Anomaly powers up beside him. “You good with this?”

She nods, and he pulls the helmet on and allows himself to be led into the Anomaly. All down the line the others are unrestrained and led into the green glow behind Miller: Hope, then Octavia, Niylah. The man skips over Raven, who gives him a strange look, and moves on to Echo, freeing the former spy with a guarded look. “Sending the fighters first, is that it?”

He shrugs a little, “Can't be too careful.”

After Echo is Jordan, and you put your hands out after him, waiting your turn, but the man in front of you steps back, leaving you, Gabriel, and Raven behind, still restrained. Cadogan moves over to the stone and types in a code, the Anomaly closing behind Jordan, leaving the rest of you behind. You glance over at Clarke in confusion, wondering if this was part of the plan, and she gives you a look of worry, letting you know that it’s not. She steps towards Cadogan, a glare on her face. “What are you doing?”

“Ensuring you keep your part of the deal.”

Raven shifts closer to you, glaring at Cadogan as she moves, her lip curling into a sneer. “He didn't send them to Sanctum.”

“Correct.” He turns to look at her, smiling at her, and you want nothing more than to launch yourself at him and wipe the smile from his face. “And thank you for demonstrating why I didn't send you with them.”

Gabriel clicks his tongue, his gaze shifting to his feet before moving back up to Cadogan. “We know how the stone works.”

“Also correct.” You shake your head, confused, because you don't have knowledge of the stone in the way that Gabriel and Raven do. If anything, Echo and Hope know more about the stone than you, meaning they should be here too. Clarke seems to think the same thing, because she looks over at you before her eyes lock with Cadogan’s. “My twin doesn't know about the stone, so why is she here?”

The realization hits you as you look at her, the worry on her face to have you still among the dangers of Bardo. You shift your gaze to the cult leader and deadpan, “I’m an insurance policy. If you don't get him the Flame, I'm assuming that I'm the first to go.”

Bill turns his condescending smile to you, confirming your suspicions. “Another correct answer.”

You glare at him, your mind on your friends and not your safety. “Where are they?”

“They're safe, as I promised they would be. I said nothing about releasing them on Sanctum.”

Clarke turns on Bellamy, her anger radiating off of her in waves. “You knew about this?”

Bellamy looks at her, lost, clearly unaware of Bill’s plans, which the Shepherd confirms. “He doesn't know where they are, only I do. I told you, Clarke, I don't trust you. I do, however, trust the love you have for your friends and your twin, and once I have the Key and the Last War begins, they'll all be freed. At which point, each of you will be welcome to fight alongside us, and if you choose not to, well, we'll save you anyway. That is what we mean when we say, ‘for all mankind’.”

He turns, eyes moving over to the new Anders. “Doucette, please release the others, so we can retrieve the Key.”

Doucette walks over to Raven and pulls off her restraints as Cadogan once again opens the Anomaly, this time to Sanctum. Raven leans down to grab her helmet, and Doucette walks over to you next. You stick out your arms, waiting for your freedom, your brain already contemplating all the ways you’re going to get Clarke and the others out of this, when Bill’s voice calls out, “Not her.”

You look around the disciple to stare at the cult leader in shock. “What?”

“Your restraints will remain on, Miss Griffin. You killed 10 disciples in our oxygen farm, attacked First Disciple Anders before his death, and have assaulted countless guards since arriving on Bardo, two of them earlier today. I trust you even less than I trust Clarke, which is why you will remain restrained and at my side.”

From across the room, Bellamy speaks for the first time since your friends were sent away, his expression concerned as he looks at his leader. “Sir, I don't think that’s really necessary.”

“And I think it is. I’m sure you're aware of what she’s capable of more than any of us.” Bellamy’s expression drops a little, his mind clearly playing through an assortment of memories in which you fight or kill anyone that gets in your way. Cadogan notes his expression, stating with a nod, “That is why I’m keeping her restrained.”

You roll your eyes and drop your hands, accepting that, for now, your restraints will stay on. You're hesitant to push Cadogan in this moment, when everything is so tense and you’re surrounded by a room full of guards. You’re less concerned about your own safety and more concerned about the others, not wanting to do anything that’ll put Clarke or your friends in danger. You glance over at your twin, and you can tell that she wants to argue, but you shake your head at her, telling her you’re fine, you’ll be okay, and that none of this is as bad as it seems. You see her sigh a little before accepting the message, leaning down to pick up her own helmet.

You grab your helmet as Gabriel is freed, and Cadogan turns and begins to give orders. “Disciples, I want most of you ahead of us. Weapons hot, remain in ghost mode, and take down anyone that is armed. Bellamy and Doucette will go ahead of me and the troublesome twin, and then Gabriel, Raven, and Clarke will bring up the rear, along with the remaining disciples. Is that clear?”

Everyone mumbles their assent and agreement, and you are pushed across the room, over to Cadogan’s side. You glare as you look at him, Bellamy moving past the two of you to stand in front of you, and you shift your glare to the back of his head. Because he barely fought for you. He seems more than content to leave you chained up like an animal. You hope he can feel your anger as Cadogan directs everyone to pull their helmets on, which you do clumsily, thanks to your restraints, and you hope Bellamy can feel your anger when you all step into the Anomaly and come out the other side on Sanctum.

Except, instead of appearing in Gabriel’s tunnel under his camp, you’re in the palace, surrounded by armed guards. Russell is sitting on a throne made of skulls, wearing Grounder clothes, and you look around in confusion as you reach up to tug your helmet off. Clarke does the same thing, speaking the thought on all of your minds as you look around the room in confusion. “What the hell happened here?”

Murphy, who you didn't notice until this moment, is sitting across from Russell, his hands restrained, a chessboard in front of him. He smiles a little as he takes in the arrival of your group, but it drops at Clarke’s question. He glances briefly at Russell before deadpanning, “Oh, gee. Where to begin.”

You look around the room again, at the chaos that has apparently ensued since your departure, and you glance over at Clarke, wondering if it was like this when she left. But given the expression on her face and the confused look that she turns towards you, it wasn't. Which means your people managed to ruin not just Bardo, but Sanctum too. You can only hope that things here aren't that bad, though as you look towards Russell again, you're not sure that’s the case.

But nothing can be as bad as your time on Bardo, right?

next chapter

#The 100 #the 100 rewrite #bellamy blake #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake fanfiction

72 notes · View notes

sleepingcrisis · 3 years

Text

WIP for a western AU! I know literally nothing about westerns and I can't be bothered to give characters accents lmao. Not sure what I'll do with this but I think it is cute :)

***************************************************

"Cherry."

"Adam."

The two men looked at eachother. The pink haired man with his hair tied up in a messy bun and a red button up on tucked into his trousers. His belt held two rifles for when customers got out of hand. The blue haired man with his hair slicked back and a white suit on him stood at the bar as if disgusted by the stools that lined it. Cherry could have spat on him with the assumption that if Adam was avoid getting dirty then Cherry should fix that.

"I want to buy your property-"

"No."

"You haven't heard my deal yet Blossom!"

"I have heard it before and I am sure that I'll hear it again. This is my property and the last thing I want is for you to have your slimy hands all over it. Now order a drink and sit down or get out," Cherry snapped and pointed to the door.

Adam tsked and grit his teeth, "You can't hang on to the deed of this place forever!"

"You're right!" Cherry exclaimed and apparently Adam missed the sarcasm when he had the audacity to look hopeful for a moment. "When I'm six feet under then you can have it," Cherry elaborated and rolled his eyes.

"That'll be sooner than you think!" Adam called before leaving. He always had to get the last word. Cherry would nearly be concerned if the other could possibly settle on someone else speaking last.

"Is everything going to be alright?"

Cherry looked over at his newest crew member. A young man named Langa who had light blue hair and was currently cleaning off tables.

"Yeah he does that sometimes," Cherry explained with a shrug.

"And you aren't worried?" Langa asked, brow raised.

"Nope. I'd put a bullet between his eyes before I let that bastard scare me," Cherry decided with a grin. He heard Langa gulp and chuckled softly. Cherry didn't even know how the boy was still alive. He was what people far up north called a pacifist. He didn't carry a rifle and even when Cherry had offered he refused to learn how to shoot. This alone was a good enough reason for Cherry to decide not to get attached.

"You should dump out the spit buckets before the evening crowd comes in," Cherry mentioned. He realized he hadn't given the northerner that task before by the way Langa looked at him.

"The what?" Langa asked softly.

They ended up doing that together and Cherry rinsing them out before putting them back in the regular spots as people began to file in.

"Leave your rifles at the door. This is no place for a gun fight! If I catch any of you bringing something like that past the entrance I'll have two bullets in your chest before you can even draw it!" Cherry barked at one of his more 'problem' customers.

"Does that rule apply to me?" Came a familiar voice. Cherry already knew he was grinning before he even looked over to him.

"Especially you Joe," Cherry shot back easily.

"Is that any way to talk to your sheriff?" Joe asked as he sat down at the bar.

"In here? Yes. I don't need you trying to play the hero like last time," Cherry said. Neither of them seemed to want to talk about what had happened last time though.

"Oh hush, I am the sheriff-"

"And this is my tavern, if someone gets into a bar fight then it is my business unless I specifically call for you."

"He had a knife!"

"And?" Cherry didn't seem to see the issue. Instead he walked away from Joe in order to serve other people their alcohol. "Also, order something if you are gonna sit in here Joe- and tell your boy to stop distracting Langa."

Joe hadn't even noticed. The red head who often tailed him was currently talking with one of Cherry’s servers- a blue haired boy with his hair clipped back to keep it out of his face.

"Reki!" Joe called and nodded to the seat beside him. The red head seemed to say his goodbyes before moving to sit beside him. Reki was often covered in dirt and the same went for his clothes. His hair matted and wild- he needed a bath. Joe figured he would have to wait until later to mention that.

Joe himself wore a brown cowboy hat and a button up along with trousers and a vest. The small star remained pinned to his vest signifying his position and his belt held two rifles-

Until Cherry came over and plucked them out. "Sheriff. You know my rules," Cherry smirked. "Ask me for them when you leave," Joe found himself stuck on the end of a wink.

Service continued. Joe and Reki got their drinks. Eventually Cherry was closing up shop and was letting his employees off the hook which resulted in Langa taking off and not too long later Joe noticed Reki seemed to have vanished. Must be making friends.

"Adam dropped by again," Cherry mentioned as if it wasn't important. He filled up Joe’s glass with ale and a glass for himself before they both began to drink from their respective glasses.

"Is he still trying to buy this place?" Joe asked.

"Yep."

"Have you tried talking to the mayor?"

"Really? The mayor? And what will Mayor Tadashi do?"

"So that's a no on the mayor thing?" Joe asked and was met with Cherry taking a long swig from his glass.

"He recommended I consider Adam’s offer. Bastard," Cherry hissed.

"Are you going to?" Joe asked.

"Hell no! What do I look like to you?"

"Sorry you are right," Joe said and sighed softly. "Are you gonna need my help?"

"No. I can handle it myself Joe. Honestly you worry far too much. And you like to get involved," Cherry chuckled softly and rolled his eyes before taking another swig and went back to cleaning.

"So why did you tell me about Adam stopping by then?" Joe questioned and rested his chin on his palm.

"Because I think he is trying to buy out this town," Cherry stated.

"He has only ever shown interest in your property," Joe mentioned and rolled his eyes. Cherry’s theory was ridiculous.

"Yeah? Is that what you think? People talk to the one giving them alcohol more than you Joe. Ever since Tadashi became mayor he has bought several empty properties. Mine is the first he has taken interest in that already had something built on it. He owns a lot of land in this town Joe. He is trying to buy us out-"

"Us?"

"Do you listen to anything I say?" Cherry hissed and finished his drink before he began to clean the glass.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm listening. Do you want me to do something?" Joe asked and tilted his head.

"What are you going to do? He ain't doing anything illegal," Kaoru muttered.

"I suppose you're right, but still. I'm loyal to you before the mayor," Joe reminded.

"Really? Well you better be ready for the shit show that is coming."

"I'm ready as I can be, someone has to protect you," Joe winked and grinned as he ignored the way Cherry scowled.

"Ew. Forget I said anything and just get out," Cherry rolled his eyes. He was only teasing but honestly it wasn't like he wanted Joe’s protection. Yes Cherry was slightly concerned about what Adam was doing, no he didn't need Joe to try and protect him. What he needed was for Joe to keep an eye on Adam and protect people who couldn't protect themselves.

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #cherry blossom sk8 #matcha blossom #cherry blossom #joe #joecherry #nanjo kojiro #sakurayashiki kaoru #adam #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #renga #Western AU

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pinoyrella · 3 years

Text

“A Love So Beautiful” Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Please Vote for Me

FT: Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Yachi Hitoka, Manami Aoki, Watabe Nozomi, Minaho + Takeda-Sensei

TW: Y/N kicks Stinkyshima lmao, Teasing/Acts of Bullying, Mild Language

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst, Coming of Age + Slow Burn

WORD COUNT: 5,390

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist

A/N: Hi everyone! So sorry for the delay of this chapter! Tumblr ended up marking my account as explicit as I was trying to change my profile picture🗿, so I wasn’t able to post :,(( This chapter’s a bit long.. but thank you so much again! MWAH ILYYY!! 💖

The sound of students chattering fills the classrooms of Class-4.

“Good morning class-4” Ono-Sensei strolls in, her heels clicking the floor. The students quiet down as they stand, greeting their homeroom teacher back in sync before sitting. “As you may know we are near spring semester, following will be our Culture Festival, held on campus before your spring break.” The students cheer as she stands tall in front of the podium, her hand resting on the left arm. “Alright-alright, I’m not finished yet. We are in need of a class monitor to represent us for not only the event, but for the rest of your high-school career.” She scans the room before her eyes fall on Tsukishima. “Tsukishima-kun, I would like to ask if you can hold up to this position.” She says out loud.

Tsukishima visibly freezes in his spot before standing, clearing his throat. “I apologize, Ono-Sensei, but I am a bit occupied at the moment with preparing for the Spring High Preliminaries with the Volleyball Club. I won’t be able to dedicate most of my time towards the Culture Festival.” He says before seating himself. “That’s not a problem. Yamaguchi-kun?” Yamaguchi stands before speaking. “I’m sorry Ono-Sensei, I’m also a part of the volleyball club…” Yamaguchi trails, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh that’s right, it’s no worries as well” Ono-Sensei clears her throat before beginning. “Since two of our top students are unable to represent our class, we will hold an election. Remember the job of the class monitor holds a lot of responsibility and weight. Not only will you be the class monitor, you will represent class-4 as a whole. All you do will be reflected back to us, understood? We will continue this discussion after break, now if you can all pull your textbooks out to page 17 where we left off.” She announces, turning her back to the board preparing her chalk.

The bell rings for break as the lesson pauses. Students make their way out of the classroom to spend the short period.

Yamaguchi stands from his seat, making his way to Yachi, pulling a chair by her desk. You turn to face your four friends in excitement. “Who do you think will join and win the election?” “Ahmmmm” Yachi places a finger under her chin. “I have no clue, I would have thought Tsukishima or Yamaguchi-kun would be perfect for the position.” She turns to look at Yamaguchi. “You’re very good at leading, and have a friendly reputation.” The freckled boy blushes immensely from the compliment. “Though if I’m honest, I feel Manami-chan has been very active in the class lately.” “Oh! Yachi-san you do have a point!” Yamaguchi agrees with her. You grit your teeth to the name of that she-devil before turning to Tsukishima, your expression softening. “What do you think, Tsukki?” Tsukishima not sparing a second to think. “Manami Aoki.” Before putting his headphones back on. You huff in jealousy at the sound of Tsukishima mentioning her name. ‘What’s so good about her anyways? I’m just as capable..’ You think looking in her seat’s direction.

The bell rings and the students make their way back to class, Ono-Sensei following after.

“Welcome back class, I hope you had a relaxing break. Now before we move onto our next lesson, please raise your hand if you would like to run for class monitor. Keep in mind what I had said earlier, this position holds a lot of duty and trust, there will come many responsibilities. Do I make myself clear?” Ono-sensei eyes her students, before the class responds with a “yes” in sync. “Perfect. Now please raise your hand if you would like to run for the position.”

She watches as three students raise their hands, of course Manami Aoki being one of the three. Writing their names down one by one, when she finally reaches Manami, your ears perk remembering Tsukishima saying her name, ‘Manami Aoki’. You close your eyes, not having any control, you raise your hand. “Ah, and lastly f/n l/n.” The sound of your name causes the class to go silent, turning their head back to you.

Whispers among the students are heard. Yachi turns her head to you whispering “y/n!” You open your lids and see dozens of eyes looking in your direction. Feeling embarrassment creep up your spine, you look towards Tsukishima’s seat. He too was staring, but immediately looks away the moment you made eye contact.

“Hah, I didn’t think y/n would want to run. Not with her best skill being irresponsible.” Watabe comments, gaining a couple chuckles from the class. You let your hand down, sinking into your seat in embarrassment. “Watabe Nozomi-” Ono-sensei tries to scold before; Tsukishima, irritated, slaps his pen to his notebook, immediately shutting up the chuckling students.

You and Yachi find yourselves at Ukai’s shop afterschool, Yachi offering to treat you to snacks, hoping to help cheer you up after Watabe’s uncalled remark.

“Hey y/n, don’t listen to them. I think it was pretty courageous of you to raise your hand and run for such a… interesting position.” Yachi says, tapping the two wrapped pastries in her hand together.

“Yaaaaachiii!!! I had no idea what came over me, after I heard her name I couldn’t control myself. It’s like my hand went up on it’s own, and before I knew it Ono-sensei was writing my name down!” You cry to her.

Yachi pats your shoulder as you turn the corner of the aisle, pausing and turning back immediately from hearing and seeing Watabe Nozomi and Manami Aoki.

“Y/n has some nerve running for class monitor.” “Nozomi-chan, everyone should get a chance. No matter how underqualified they are.” Manami replies, the two letting out a laugh before heading out.

Yachi turns to you, seeing the hurt look on your face. “Hey, ignore them, I think you’re going to do well, come on let’s go.” She takes your hand, paying coach Ukai at the register before you two head out.

The next day approaches, and you stand by the vending machines, rehearsing your lines. You let out a yawn, you stayed up all night preparing your speech. As you close your mouth, you feel a straw poke your lips. Jumping back in confusion, you open your eyes to find Kageyama standing in front of you, a strawberry milk carton in hand with its straw facing you. “Morning boss.” “Kageyama Tobio! Don’t scare me like that!” Kageyama lets out a sly smile as he waits for you to take the milk carton that has already touched your lips. You take it from his hands and sip. You pop your lip, letting out a refreshing “ah” before looking up into his blue eyes.

You guys stare for a few seconds before you let out a cry, clutching your hair. “Kageyama! What am I going to do, I’m so nervous and scared, I feel like I’m going to embarrass myself in front of the class again! Everyone’s going to make a fool out of me and-and-” You let out a yelp as Kageyama pulls you into an embrace. You let yourself suffocate into his school’s blazer, letting your hands fall to your side, letting out a muffled scream.

Kageyama pulls away and you look up at him with a pout. “You got this” he says, cheeks a bit flushed. He takes both his hands and awkwardly begins to pat your hair back down, fixing it. He then takes your bag in his hands. “Ready for class?”

Just as the bell for break rings, you immediately jump to your seat, grabbing your water bottle and making your way to the water fountains. You feel sick, absolutely sick to your stomach, absolutely afraid, thinking you need more water to help quench that feeling in your stomach. You look up as you take the steps onto the platform, seeing Tsukishima filling his water bottle. You turn around quickly, flattening your hair before approaching right behind him. “Tsukki!” The boy pays no mind, as he continues to fill his water bottle. “I feel so nervous…” He stops the water from running, turning the lid of the water bottle. “You’d vote for me right?” You ask looking at him. He turns to make eye contact with you before replying bluntly. “You think?” He begins walking back to class, having you stand there, your smile dying.

“And this is why, I hope you would not only allow me to partake in such a responsible role, but to also server for you all as a class. Thank you for your time.” Manami speaks before bowing. The class erupts in claps. She takes a step to the side, shoving you slightly with her shoulder as she steps down the podium. “Well done Manami-chan, now may I have y/n please step up to the podium.” Ono-sensei asks of you, and you do so. You begin to lightly shake, setting your written speech on the podium. You look up to immediately find your friends to seek comfort, Hinata, Kageyama, Yachi, Yamaguchi… Tsukki? Before you can ask where Tsukki had gone, Ono-sensei speaks. “You may now begin.”

Taking a large gulp, you hold onto the ends of your paper, trembling slightly. “M-my name is f/n tsuki- I-I mean l/n… and I would.. I would..” You begin to stutter, the class beginning to laugh quietly. “You’re laughing? Try going up there and speak-” Kageyama bursts irritated. “Enough-” Ono-sensei is interrupted by Yamaguchi’s hand slapping onto the desk.

You turn to catch eyes with him, Hinata, Kageyama and Yachi, holding up a mini sign “You can do it!” You close your eyes to take a deep breath before your smile reappears on your face, opening your eyes as you begin;

“Hi everyone, I know that you may feel it's ridiculous that I am standing here. I have never been a good student, when it comes to academics, or socialization. A lot of times I make mistakes and embarrass myself. However, I would like to make a change for you. We will be classmates for the next three years, when we may quarrel and get angry at each other, and make mistakes. What's more is when we work together as a class, I hope that the l/n f/n that remains in your memory, will not be the one that always causes trouble, but also one that is there to help you. I want to be a monitor who is with you from now until the end. Thank you.” You give a bright smile before bowing.

The class stays silent before rounds of applause are heard, and you smile brightens just a tad bit more.

“Beautiful, now, let’s get to the votes.” Ono-sensei cheers as students begin to hand their ballot in. “Yamaguchi-kun, would you mind collecting the ballots and reading to me the names?” Yamaguchi agrees and begins to collect the ballots. Making his way to Ono-sensei afterwards. “ “Hamada Hiro. Manami Aoki. Manami Aoki. L/n F/n. Manami Aoki. Manami Aoki. L/n F/n. L/n F/n. L/n F/n. L/n F/n. Manami Aoki.” Yamaguchi reads as Ono-sensei writes the tallies on the board. Manami gives you a side glance as Yamaguchi reads the final slip. “And L/N.” You turn to the board, seeing you have one vote more than Manami.

“Alright class that settles it, let's congratulate L/n F/n on her new role as class-4′s monitor!” The class erupts in a cheer, clapping as they congratulate you. “W-wait!” Ono-sensei turns to look at you. “Where’s Tsukishima?” “He had gone out to collect some paperwork from Takeda-sensei for me, it’s okay we can skip him-” As Ono-sensei finished, Tsukishima walks in with a stack of paper in hand. “Ono-sensei, here’s the paperwork.” He says, handing it to her before heading to his seat. “Tsukki!” The blonde stops in his tracks before turning to Yamaguchi, “Your vote?” he asks. Tsukishima looks to you, then to the board. “Manami Aoki.” He replies before sitting down.

Yachi, Kageyama, Yamaguchi and Hinata are in shock before Hinata yells “He betrayed us!” You feel your heart tear once again by the blonde, as the girl besides you lets out a snicker.

“Well, since we have a tie, we will allow both Manami Aoki and L/n F/n to be co-monitors for this week, in the meantime we will observe and have a final vote at the end. Please take your seats, and turn to page…”

You tune out the sounds around you as you sit back down, shrinking into your seat.

The next day you arrive to class, immediately sitting before resting your chin to your arm, pouting, looking towards Tsukishima’s direction.

Hinata, Kageyama and Yachi come in together, greeting you before they notice your depressing behavior as you look at Tsukishima. Kageyama immediately pats your head while Hinata and Yachi try to cheer you up with their sweet words. As they do, the three stop seeing Manami approach Tsukishima with a cutely wrapped jar, filled with various sweets.

“Disgusting” Kageyama mutters before pulling away from you. The four of you watching the exchange.

“Tsukishima-san, thank you so much for your vote the other day, these are for you!!!” She attempts to get his attention, but he ignores her, headphones still on. Kageyama and Hinata begin to chuckle, causing her attention to face you four, giving YOU a scowl look before turning back to Tsukishima. “Excuse me, Tsukishima-san?” You watch as Tsukishima lets out an irritated sigh, lifting his headphones off. Looking back to Manami you see as she smiles and perks up, probably due to finally getting the boy’s attention. “These are for you-” “No thanks.” He interrupts immediately. Now it's your turn to chuckle. Manami scoffs, leaving the jar of sweets on his table before stomping away.

“Oh! Tsukki~” Yamaguchi lets out cheerfully as he makes his way to his desk beside his friend. “Shut up Yamaguchi” He says back. “Wow, look at those sweets they look delicious” He comments as he sits. You watch as Tsukishima grabs the jar, immediately moving it to Yamaguchi’s desk before putting his headphones back on. “Thanks Tsukki!” The freckled boy says cutely. You turn to look towards Manami, irritated that the boy she admired just gave her present away to someone else so easily.

You, Kageyama, Hinata and Yachi make your way back to class after fetching water during break, Hinata begins “Y/n, it’s time for you to turn to another guy.” At this, Kageyama immediately perks up, looking towards your direction nodding. “Never” You say pouting, holding your water bottle closer to your chest. The three let out a sigh before entering the class.

As you enter and make your way back to your seats, you hear the voice of Watabe speaking to Manami, talking badly about you as always. “That last vote for y/n was so embarrassing.” Hinata immediately stands, defending you. “Don’t talk about y/n like that.” The two girls turn their heads to the boy “Huh? It’s a fact. Y/n really thinks she has the weight to be a class monitor.”

The tension in the room becomes heavy, Yamaguchi speaking, about to break up the possible fight. “Hey-” Tsukishima immediately gets out of his seat, walking towards the door before-

Kageyama grabs him by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Not even looking at him, he lets out a demanding “Say it.”

The whole class turns their attention to the two, Yamaguchi too turns his attention, confused and terrified of what is to come.

Hinata then turns, making his way to stand in front of Tsukishima. “Yeah! Why didn’t you vote for y/n?”

Tsukishima gives Hinata a glare before snapping his wrist away from Kageyama’s tight grip. He turns to look at you, you’re looking back at him wondering the same question. “She doesn’t fit for the position.” He says coldly before moving past Hinata, making his way out of the class.

You sit there, processing what he had just said before running out after him. You stand in front of him, blocking his path. He stops confused why you had followed him out, now blocking him. tears forming to your eyes you ask “How come I don’t fit for the position?” “You just don’t” He replies immediately. “But Manami Aoki does? Why?” “Because she’s better than you.” He hadn’t meant to say it like that. You look up to him in disbelief, before lifting your leg to kick him. “FUCK- Y/N!” He cries, grabbing onto his leg. You look at him in shock, not believing you just kicked him before running back inside, tears streaming down your face.

You sink into your seat, casing your crying form into your arms. Yachi, Hinata and Kageyama immediately notice.

“Y/n? What happened?” Yachi asks. From this, Yamaguchi turns to you four, immediately making his way, grabbing a chair and sitting beside you. “Y/n-chan?” Yamaguchi now asks, trying to get you to look up. “Y/n. Please tell us what happened, are you okay?” Yachi asks again. Kageyama now upset, he stands, making his way in front of your desk kneeling down. You don’t budge. Irritated, he asks “Did he bully you?! I’ll beat him up!” He begins to roll the sleeves to his blazer and storm out. “Yeah!” Hinata stands, mimicking the tall boy. Before the two can move, Yamaguchi stops Kageyama, as Yachi stops Hinata.

“I-... I-...” You begin slowly lifting your head. The four turn back to you, sitting down as they listened. “I kicked Tsukki…” You begin to cry harder, feeling guilty. Yamaguchi feels the soul leave his body, Yachi sits there in shock trying to process if what she heard you confess was right. “What?! You kicked him?!” Hinata asks, “Damn” Kageyama lets out a laugh before patting you on the back. “Good job y/n!” You begin to sob harder. “What should i do? Do you think he hates me? Should I apologize to him?”. Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck, and Yachi goes in to hug you while Kageyama glares at Hinata for making you cry harder. “I don’t think he hates you” Yachi tries comforting you. Yamaguchi then suggests “let’s do something else to take your mind off this.. Hey miss monitor, don’t you have to collect the activity fee for next week?” You look up to him and nod.

Grabbing your backpack, you take the envelope Ono-sensei gave you earlier. The four immediately pull their wallets out, handing you the money for the activity fee. You smile at your friends as Yachi goes to help you ask around the class for them to turn the fee into you.

During lunch, the five of you sit together, you’re still sulking over the incident while picking your food. “Come on y/n, eat! It happened already, don’t think about it too much!” Yamaguchi says. “You’re the one who kicked him, but I’m the one who feels good.” Kageyama lets out a low smirk, turning to you. You begin to tear up again, he immediately stops and offers you his dessert. “‘M sorry…” You take his dessert and begin to stuff your mouth with it.

“How’s the collection going?” Yamaguchi tries changing the topic, before you look up at him. “Er- Almost done but…” Yachi replies looking back to you. You pout as you continue to gaze mindlessly at your unfinished meal. “I don’t want to ask him for the fee…” The three boys know who you are referring to.

Back in class, the five of you sit down in your seats. You look towards Tsukishima’s direction.

“Y/n… I can go with you if you want…” Yachi says, you turn to face her. “No Yach, it’s okay…” You grab the envelope on your desk, making your way towards Tsukishima. Immediately he turns his head, looking up at you. “Um…” He notices the envelope in your hands, immediately pulling out a full bill. “Change” he says as looks back to his notes. As you take the money, you notice Manami’s presence in front of you. She looks to you before facing Tsukishima. “Tsukishima-san, Takeda-sensei asked for me to notify you to go to his office later.” Tsukishima nods, not even looking from his notes. You see Manami lean closer to him. “You know-” Jealous, you immediately slap the change back onto Tsukishima’s desk. The two surprised by your demeanor, looking to you as you make your way back to your seat.

You sigh as you slip the envelope of money into your notebook, the bell for class ringing.

After class, the second break takes place. Manami makes her way to you. “Don’t forget about the activity fee.” She looks down at you. You look up to her from your seat nodding. As she walks away you let out a quiet “You’re telling me.”

You begin to take your backpack out, retrieving the envelope. You notice, it’s not in your bag. Looking into your desk, you begin to dig every scrap, taking everything out as you begin to panic. Yachi turns to you, watching you panic. “Y/n?” You turn and give her a look. She then knows what you’re trying to say. “You lost the-” You slap your hand to her mouth, dragging her out of the class. Kageyama notices and follows after you two.

You dragged Yachi to the girls’ bathroom.

“Yes…” You admit to her looking down.

Making your way out of the bathroom, the two of you notice Kageyama waiting outside.

“You okay boss?” He asks.

You turn to look at Yachi, trying to think of an excuse. You begin to bend over, holding onto your stomach. “Argh- yeah! My stomach just hurts…” You give Yachi a side glance, begging for her to go along with it. “Uh yeah! Y/n wasn’t feeling well so we went to the bathroom together…” Yachi trails.

Kageyama looks between the two of you before letting out a relieved sigh. “I was very worried for a second, but now I’m just worried.” He looks back to Yachi, then to you. “I’ll go to the nurse’s to get you something that can help you.” Before the two of you can stop him, he’s already running away in the direction of the nurse’s office.

You two look at each other in disbelief that he actually bought the horrible acting, now making your way back to class.

“Y/n!” You turn to Hinata and Yamaguchi who were waiting for you to come back. “Is everything okay?” They ask, and you admit to them as well you had lost the money.

The four of you immediately go on a quest to find the missing envelope, before class begins.

In the meantime…

Kageyama takes a deep breath before going into the nurse’s office, bending over with his arm to his stomach. The nurse looks from his clipboard, noticing the boy.

Kageyama stares at him before remembering his act. “Argh…” He plops down into the seat in front of him. “Sir I don’t feel well…” He keeps himself down. “Oh?” The nurse lets his clipboard down. “What seems to be the problem?”

Kageyama blinks trying to think of something. “My leg… no uh my stomach, it hurts so bad argh…”

The nurse lets out a small laugh. “A stomach ache?” He stands, heading to the cabinet behind him. “For you or?” Kageyama looks up at him, then resumes back to his normal behavior. “For a friend sir…” The nurse laughs, before taking out a heat pack, handing it to him.

“You’re not too good with acting champ.” Kageyama takes the heat pack from the nurse, before heading out, embarrassed.

You plop down at the staircase, frustrated. Yamaguchi looking to Yachi. “Y/n, why don’t you stay here and relax, we’ll try out best to find it.” Yamaguchi says, before the two head off to continue the search.

As they head down, Tsukishima turns the corner of the steps, making his way up. Before turning again, he stops, his hand on the railing. “You lost the activity fee?”

You freeze, looking up to him. “No…” You lie.

“Oh good” He lets out sarcastically with a fake sigh of relief, about to continue his way up the stairs before-

“Ah!” You cling onto his leg. He looks down at you, surprised by the sudden action. “Yes… help me?”

Tsukishima pauses for a second before replying “Why would I?” “Please?” You immediately reply, giving him puppy eyes.

He sighs before taking a seat next to you on the staircase.

“How did you lose it?” “I can’t remember…” “When did you last have it?” “I can’t remember…” “Think harder” “I can’t!” You let out in frustration, Tsukishima lets out a sigh.

“You asked me earlier for the activity fee during class, what did you do with the envelope after?” He asks, you look up trying to remember. You stop before turning your head to him. “It’s in my practice book!” You smile at him, before it immediately drops.

“The one I turned into… Takeda-sensei…” Tsukishima sighs, he sees Kageyama making his way to you two from afar. He begins to get up before you stop him once again, clinging to his leg. “I still need help…” You try using your puppy eyes again.

Tsukishima kneels down on one knee, leaning closer to your face, as he motions his hands in a ‘come closer’ motion. You lean your ear towards him before he replies.

“Aren’t you good at kicking people? Kick him.” He says before leaving up the stairs.

You watch as he makes his way up the stairs quickly. “Tsukki!”

Kageyama makes his way to you, handing the heat pack before sitting beside you. “For your stomach ache.” You look at him, replying with a “thanks” before handing it back, making your way up the stairs where Takeda-sensei’s office could be. Kageyama watches as, thinking you are following after Tsukishima, he lets out a sigh.

You turn your head as you walk down the hall, looking left and right, making sure the ‘coast is clear’ before sneaking into the teacher’s office, and slowly shutting the door behind you. You immediately make your way to Takeda-sensei’s desk, sitting on his chair as you search for your practice book.

You are so focused on your search, that you didn’t realize another person had slid the office door open, making their way in to stand in front of Takeda-sensei’s desk, watching you.

You feel the presence of someone watching you, looking up you notice a figure, before you can hide down, you notice it’s just Tsukishima. You sigh in relief as you begin searching for your practice book.

Tsukishima watches you, before turning his attention to the door.

As you continue searching, the door slides open, revealing Ono-sensei and Takeda-sensei making their way in. Tsukishima immediately blocks your view from them as you stand straight, shuffling Takeda-sensei’s desk to how it originally looked.

“Tsukishima-kun?” The two teachers ask. Tsukishima stands, trying to figure a way to hold them as you finish. “Takeda-sensei, Manami-chan had mentioned you wanted to meet with me?” Takeda-sensei looks at the boy before remembering. “Ah yes!” He turns to his coworker. “Tsukishima-kun has been very active, towards his academics and performance in the school’s volleyball club.” Tsukishima gives you a side glance, tuning out whatever Takeda-sensei was talking to Ono-sensei about.”

“And you?” Tsukishima freezes, before turning back to Ono-sensei. You poke from behind his tall figure. “Tsukishima-san asked me to accompany him...” You lie. Ono-sensei looks to Tsukishima, he nods looking away.

“Well there’s no need, Takeda-sensei’s here now. Let’s get back to class.” You nod and make your way out with her, looking behind to Tsukishima as Ono-sensei slides the door shut.

Tsukishima watches as the two of you disappear into the hall.

Back in class, the bell rings for instructions to begin again.

“Monitor’s please hand in your work that was assigned to you.” You watch as Manami hands a folder of documents to Ono-sensei.

“Y/n-chan?” She asks looking to you after taking the folder from Manami.

“Ono-sensei…” You stand from your seat, everyone in class turning their attention to you.

“I… I lost the activity fee envelope…” You confess, hanging your head down as the class erupts in shock.

Tsukishima stands by Takeda-sensei’s desk as his advisor goes on about the volleyball club. He notices one of the practice notebooks, bulging. He reads the name on it, it's yours. As Takeda-sensei speaks, Tsukishima discreetly nudges the stack of practice notebooks, causing them to fall over.

He apologizes to Takeda-sensei, immediately diving to pick up the notebooks, slipping the envelope into the sleeve of his blazer, before setting the stack of notebooks on his desk. Bidding a farewell as he makes his way out, running back to class.

“Are you serious?” “How much was in the envelope?” “I can’t believe you lost all the money!” The class begins to interrogate and scold you. “What a joke for y/n to be the monitor” Watabe scoffs, you look down saddened and ashamed before the classroom door opens, revealing Tsukishima catching his breath.

Tsukishima looks at you, making his way inside. “Sensei, the money is right here.” He turns to face Ono-sensei as he hands her the envelope. “Y/n-chan left the money to me.”

“No” Tsukishima turns to look at you. “I lost it, and Tsukki- Tsukishima-san retrieved it for me. I’m so sorry, I’m not fit to be a monitor.” You apologize, with your head low. You don’t notice Tsukishima looking at you in shock as he makes his way back to his seat.

You stay standing, before Ono-sensei speaks up.

“Look, you’re all still young. I don’t remember if you still remember what Y/n-chan said during the election. ‘We will be classmates for the next three years, when we may quarrel and get angry at each other, and make mistakes.’ Y/n-chan had made a great point.” Ono-sensei turns her attention back to you. “But you also missed, Y/n-chan, that these three years is a time when you will truly grow up. It doesn’t mean how many chemical equations you master, nor does it mean whether you can solve all the questions in math. It means how you are going to be qualified as an adult. You should have the courage to admit to your mistakes.”

You look up to her, making your way from your seat to the front of the class. “I made a mistake, and I am sorry.” You apologize.

Ono-sensei smiles to you, proud of your mature action. “And you” She turns her attention back to the class. “You all also need to have a broad heart to tolerate each others’ mistakes.” Everyone turns to face you. “It’s okay Y/n-chan.”

You look to your class, giving a warm smile. “Thank you, but really- It was my fault this time.” You turn your attention to face Ono-Sensei. “Ono-sensei, thank you for the opportunity, but I would like to resign from the position.” Ono-sensei looks at you, before letting you back to your seat. “Okay” She calls, “It’s over. Manami Aoki is our new class monitor.” She announces before class resumes.

You walk beside Tsukishima as he pushes his bike in hand. You stop, grabbing onto the ends of his blazer. He stops and turns to you, looking down.

“You were right. I don’t fit to be a monitor.” You admit to him.

Tsukishima gets on his bike, before turning his gaze back to you. “But actually, you were a really good one.” He says as he begins to lightly pedal, riding off slowly.

You stand in shock, before running after him smiling. “Ah! Tsukki- wait!”

Tsukishima replies out loud “Wait for you to kick me again?”

You let out a laugh, as you hop on the end of his bike, missing the small smile on his face.

A/N: AAAAAAAA Thank you so much again for taking the time to read my very bad writing! 💖I hope you’re enjoying the series so far, I swear half of the time as I write and plan out what happens, I’m giggling and flustered, I srsly can’t concentrate ToT I just love the Chinese drama so much and just AAAAAHH JIANG CHEN!! See uuu next chapter!! Hehehe! 🙈

TAGLIST: @cvlliesstuff , @strawberries-en-cream , @beanst0ck , @kimiiiiiiiiii .

Please let me know in the comments (or in asks) if you’d like to be added to the taglist!!!

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

#tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x y/n #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima angst #tsukishima crack #tsukishima kei fluff #tsukishima kei angst #tsukishima kei crack #tsukishima kei a love so beautiful #tsukishima kei a love so beautiful series #tsukishima kei series #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#Haikyuu!! TO THE TOP #haikyuu tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x you

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

Thoughts - Part 1 // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

This timeline is set around 2006 because that's when the actually 2nd season of Criminal Minds was going on. So Matthew is about 26.

Summary - Soulmate AU! Once you turn 18, you can hear some of your soulmates thoughts. And when you meet, your thoughts go silent for 30 seconds. Readers soulmate is quite the character. (Anything you see in bold is the other persons thought.)

Word count : 2.1k

This is kind of experimental lmao, lemme know if you like it :)))

"What was your first soulmate thought y/n?" I got this question often, everyone did. This time it was asked by a new friend of mine, we met in our cinematography class this semester at LAFS ( Los Angeles Film School ).

"I think my story is one of the more fun ones."

"I bet mines better." Her eyes held promise, but I wasn't sure she could beat me.

*It was currently 1:15 pm, and I was waiting patiently for my first soulmate thought. I was with my best friend Marley, we sat in the cafeteria of my college, mind you, surrounded by other people.*

*"What time were you born again?" She had asked the question so many times this hour, by the way she was bouncing, you would think that we were waiting for hers.*

*"1:19 pm for the last time Marley." I giggled, nudging her shoulder. I took a bite of the cupcake she had bought me for my birthday. It took no time for the clock to hit 1:19, I anxiously waited to hear something, anything.*

"Now disclaimer." I told my friend, who I now knew as Alex. "I knew that some people had reported that their first soulmate thoughts were kind of, *loud*. But I can tell you that I was severely unprepared."

*Only 30 seconds after my watch ticked past 1:19, I heard a near deafening screech in my head.*

***"What the fuck?!"** The thought was so obnoxious and loud that I spit the fluffy pastry from my mouth and directly onto the back of another person, holding tightly to my ears, this did not help.*

*"What's going on? What did they say?" Marley leaned over to me, rubbing my back with a horrified look. Not long after, the man I had spit on turned around with a furious look.*

*"Hey I'm so sorry." I choked out, waving a hand at the man. "My soulmate thought was painful." The man rolled his eyes with an angry huff, taking his cardigan off and turning back to his table.*

*"What did they say y/n?!" There she went again, bouncing like a dodgeball.*

*"What the fuck." My eyes darted to hers, narrowed slightly. She furrowed her brows at me. "He literally thought, what the fuck, so loudly."*

Alex was on the floor giggling like a fiend, she held her stomache as if her guts would spill out with so much joy.

"Nope, you're right." She could barely speak between laughter. "I can't beat that." She promptly wiped the tears from her eyes, composing herself. "So you haven't met him yet?" She let out a final sigh.

"Nope. When I meet him, I kinda wanna slap him." A sly smile made it's way onto my lips. "The little shit thinks the weirdest things! I have had to deal with his thoughts for 4 years, and I'm ready for the complete silent bliss when I meet him." I laid my head back on the couch.

**I would really like a fruit roll up right now.**

"Speak of the idiot, he really wants a fruit roll up right now." Alex shook her head at me.

"Maybe he will be funny?"

"We'll see about that. What was your first soulmate thought?"

Tonight was Marley and I's 'introduction night.' Similar to a movie night, we have a night every two weeks where we either introduce the other to a new show or movie, alternating turns.

"I think you'll like this one." She plopped onto the loveseat, nearly throwing and spilling the hot popcorn on me while grabbing the remote. "It's a crime show, just started last year so after this season we can just keep up with it. If you like it of course." The show was flipped onto the first episode, it was a man talking about an unsub, or unidentified subject. Then a younger guy walked in, interrupting him.

"Who is that guy?" The words flew from my mouth before I could even think them.

"Spencer Reid-"

"No, I mean his *real* name. He looks *so* familiar." It felt like my brain was eating itself alive, why did he look so familiar.

"I think his name is Matthew Gray Gubler." Marley shrugged, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Has he been in anything else but this?"

"He models a lot. That's probably where you saw him." She pushed some magazines around on her coffee table and threw one at me. "He's on page 16, Hilfiger Jean's." I flipped to the page, seeing his face again.

"Wow, he is something else. I must have just unknowingly saw him in a magazine somewhere."

"I know! Once I saw him on here, I knew you would think he was cute too. Plus, he's a genius. I figured this would be another Peter Parker situation again." She teased, poking at my giant crush on Spiderman AKA Toby Maguire a few years ago.

"Shut up!" I snickered, throwing a pillow at her head. My own thoughts were interrupted by one that was not my own.

**I wish Halloween would come faster.**

"Its literally May." I whispered to myself, earning a weird look from Marley. This is the typical weird thought, Halloween is big on his mind.

I of course ended up loving the show. ~~And may or may not have had a huge crush on Spencer Reid already.~~

I informed Marley that we would most certainly be catching up on the show regularly, making that out new weekly thing for a while.

Though I could truly not get that Matthew guy out of my head, and I had a weird feeling it wasn't just because I thought he was super hot.

Matthew

**Who is Matthew Gray Gubler?**

The thought nearly made me spit out my coffee as I walked through the set. I knew for sure that wasn't my thought.

*No shit sherlock.*

Now *that* was my thought.

The question swirled around in my head, I really wanted to just think,

*I'm Matthew Gray Gubler!*

Just to make this whole process easier. Who knows if she could even actually *hear* it if I did answer her, or that she would believe me.

So lost in my train of thoughts, pun intended, I ran right into a punch cart.

"Holy shit!" The punch came spilling down right onto my khaki pants. I rested my forehead on the rim of my coffee mug. "I'm so sorry Terry, I was really caught up in my head."

"It's alright." He pulled a towel from his back pocket, throwing it onto the puddle that was forming on the wood floor. "Thinkin' about a girl?"

"Yes actually, thinking about my soulmate. Let me help you with that." I kneeled down on the floor, wiping up the spill. "Sorry again."

"It's all good Matthew." He dragged the cart to the opposite side of the room.

**Why can I not focus damnit?! This trip is suppose to be fun. Focus y/n. Focus!**

Y/n! I've never heard her name before. Maybe shes getting closer to me.

I set my coffee on the table of the reading room, pulling my script out and sitting next to AJ.

"You seem out of it today, are you feeling okay?" She tapped my shoulder. "I saw you run directly into the lunch cart." She clearly tried to suppress a giggle.

"How did you meet Nathan? How did you do it?" My script was not slammed onto the table, my hands pressed firmly on top of it.

"Are you worried about soulmates again? Matthew, she will come to you-"

"She said my name!!" My hands flailed wilding in the air. "I heard her think it! This sucks." I laughed a bit at the end, feeling ridiculous and vulnerable. Ask phone buzzed on the table, interrupting my dilemma.

"Well I hate to stop you in the middle of this debacle, but we have a film class coming in to observe, I guess sit was suppose to be a surprise." AJ shrugged with a pity smile, which is my least favorite version of a smile. I dramatically slammed my head on the back of my rolling chair, groaning like a child.

"Come on Gubler, we don't even have to do anything, we just have to act normal so they can observe. Let's go educate some college kids." She stood above me, patting my head and dragging my seat from the table a few inches. I reluctantly stood up and left the reading room.

To be clear, if it were any other day than the day that I found out my soulmates name, I would be totally in the game. I love teaching people, I love being an inspiration, but all I could think about was how close yet how far I was from meeting the love of my life. I shook it all off, physically and mentally, while heading to the set.

*Time to get my head in the game.*

I hope my soulmate heard that and started thinking of highschool musical.

"Action!" I held my prop gun in my hand while following Shermar, he proceeded to kick a door down that had a camera on the other side to capture it. The class that was observing sat on the other side of the door, seeing all of the behind the scenes that goes on during filming.

To avoid making direct eye contact with the camera, I often look right past it. So instead of making eye contact with the camera, I made it with a girl.

Then it was silent.

I stopped in the doorway, leading AJ to slam right into me on her way through the door.

"What the hell are you doing Matthew?"

"Cut!"

**You have got to be fucking kidding me.**

We did not break our stare, her eyes wide now with the realization.

*Wow.*

The girl sitting next to her was shaking her shoulder violently, but she sat unfazed.

"Can you excuse me for a second?" Bobby Roth, our director for the day looked at me like I was dumb, inevitably giving in.

"Whatever, take 5 guys."

I immediately waltzed past the cameraman and over to, who I could only assume, was my soulmate. The girl next to her was promptly slapping her arm and squealing like a pig, but she was giving her quite the death stare.

*She's my kind of girl already.*

Right as I thought that, she looke duo at me with a large grin and a tilt of the head.

*Shit.*

**Damn, even cuter in person.**

"Thank you." I couldn't suppress the automatic pep in my step meeting her. "I'm Matthew, you must be y/n?" It came out as a question because I was worried I would be wrong, and embarrass myself.

Which I've done, many times.

"You know my name?"

"I uh, I heard you think it." I pointed to my head, nodding awkwardly.

"You are so weird." She laughed, which made my face reddened more 3x more than I'm sure it already was.

"What?" I managed to murmur out.

"Well, you just think about weird stuff, mostly Halloween though." She was slowly smiling more as she spoke of me, which made my heart skip a few beats. She was so much more beautiful than I had pictured her. Her eyes held every intelligent thought that I had ever heard from her, and I knew right then that the eyes were the door to the soul. "Now that I'm here," she finally stood to my level, poking at my chest. "Do you wanna do a couples costume? This year?" She did a cute half shrug, as if I would say no.

"Oh my God, you really are my soulmate." I pulled her into a hug, a tight one, never wanting to let her go now that I'd found her.

"Alright guys! Let's go!" Bobby motioned everyone back to the set.

"Yeah, get out there *Spencer*." She patted her hand on my cheek. I didn't know if I hoped that she *did* see or *didn't* see how much I already liked her on my face, but I could feel the admiration spilling from my features.

"I- I'll talk to you after this!" I stumbled backwards from her, going back to the set and awkwardly running my back into the cameraman.

"Can't wait!" She waved with a flushed face, sitting back down next to her friend who was now shaking both of her shoulders violently.

*This is the best day of my life.*

**Same.**

---------

I've got a few more Soulmat AU ideas if you want more! I just don't know if theres any demand, so LEMME KNOW.

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg fic #mgg imagine #MGG #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler

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davidpastrsnack · 3 years

Text

buckle up besties, roommate anon is about to make you literally cry with this recap

(1) ok so. tyler’s family were scary but they ended up being so nice. when we first got there his brother asked me how much tyler paid me to be there 💀 tyler nudged him and said knock it off. then his brother said “well tyler, glad youre finally bringing a girl home” and his mom had come in just then. and scolded ty’s brother lol. his sister just said hi from the couch and ty went up to her and whispered something. and then they did a handshake which was so cute 🥺 i asked ty’s mom if she needed help with dinner. she took me up on that. it was nice talking to her. she was really sweet. we talked and even got to joking around. so thats good. ty’s dad came home in the meantime and said hi. he talked to me a bit too. ty’s sister was still a bit standoff-ish at dinner. she wasnt mean. just didnt really interact with me. she was the hardest to win over. but she did compliment my outfit. i appreciated that i changed three times she mentioned she needed new clothes for when school starts. i told her if she needed a shopping buddy to let me know. and she was like “really? can we go tomorrow?” and i looked at ty bc i had no clue what he had planned. and he sighed and was like “well i had plans to show her around tomorrow” and i gave him a look and he goes “but i guess we can do that after you guys get back” so next day i woke up before ty and got ready. then just sat there until he was up bc i was too scared to go downstairs alone lol. when we did go it was just his parents awake. his mom had me sit with them while ty made coffees lol. his mom told me they enjoyed having me here. and that tyler hasnt brought a girl over since his hs gf. who wasnt allowed to spend the night lol. and she told me he seemed really happy and…in l-word with me 🙈🙈🙈 oh and she said to not pay too much attention to his sister’s behavior bc she’s just jealous she’s not getting all of ty’s attention lmao. then later i took his sister shopping. we found a pair of earrings we both thought were cute so i bought myself and her a pair. she was really thankful and sweet. we ended up talking and she warmed up to me. especially when i said “you know youre just as amazing as tyler says” and she was like “what?” and i said “he talks about you all the time. i was really excited to meet you because he always says youre his best friend” i think she started to like me more after that. idk i tried to show her that im not stealing her brother from her lol. oh and me and her talked about boys and she mentioned this one guy. i was like oh is he cute and she blushed. i go omg do you have a crush on him. she was so red and told me i couldnt tell ty lol. when we got back though, ty’s brother had friends over. they were asking his sister who her friend was. she rolled her eyes lol. so sassy. then they were introducing themselves to me and ty’s brother was like “she’s not interested. she’s in college and is my brother’s girlfriend” i had to hold myself back from laughing that im in college came first and then ty’s gf. but in their introductions i learned that the boy ty’s sister has a crush on is her brother’s friend 🙈 oh girl. i gave her a look. she ran upstairs to put her stuff away lol.

(2) oh and during all this ty was at the store bc his mom sent him to run errands lol. so i chilled with her. helped her get some stuff ready since we were doing a cookout for dinner that night. ty finally came back. his mom shooed us out of the kitchen and told us to go have fun and then when we were putting on our shoes to go she yells “not too much fun though” 🙈 ty’s brother and his friends were snickering. high schoolers smh 🙈 so ty drove us and showed me around. it was fun. it was cute hearing his stories and memories and seeing how excited he got at some things. tbh i think i was giving him heart eyes more than i was looking around 🙈🙈 idk if i can explain it. just seeing him in his element. and a whole new level of relaxed and at home and domestic. idk. maybe youll get it 🙈 he also asked me how shopping with his sister went. so i told him about that minus her crush i aint a snitch. and i told him about his brothers comment lol. he goes “he’s so ridiculous he literally told his friend there was gonna be a college girl at his house. and he told me that you were too hot for me” that one made me giggle. ty said he smacked his brother for that one lol. i said “well i think you’re too hot for me. i mean look at you” he said “what the fuck are you talking about. i’m the luckiest guy in the world for managing to snag you” which 🥺🥺🥺 he was driving so i leaned over and kissed his cheek. bc it was so cute. and kate🙈🙈🙈 bestie 🙈🙈🙈 im only telling you this (and my other anon friends) bc i trust you guys. i havent told anyone else 🙈 but… i was really close to saying the three words to him 🙈🙈 really really close. but i got scared 🙈 it feels too soon. or that maybe its just in my head bc of what his mom said. idk.

(3) i maybe repeated some of this bc i forgot where i left off. we drove around some more. parked and walked around at a few stops. i maybe asked him about his hs gf 🙈 he said they werent really compatible and she was nice but they were better as friends and dated more bc of the pressure of dating. he was very open and honest about it though and that just made me more 🥺 we went to a park with a really nice overlook. then you have to walk through a forest and theres another more secluded one. we were going to kiss but i said “did you take all the girls here” and he said “no, i actually only ever came here alone. youre the only one” and i gave him a 🥺 look. he was a little pink. and i really really wanted to say it again 🙈 but i just kissed him instead. and then we made out 🙈🙈 for a decent amount of time actually. it felt like we were the ones in hs lol. then we were gonna go back. but our lips were a little swollen and red 🙈 so we went to get ice cream instead. then we went back to ty’s. his brother made a comment about us being gone for a while and was smirking. ty flicked him😭 oh and omg kate this was so cute 🥺 so they have these really cute lights in their backyard. his mom is super trendy lol. and they had music playing the whole time. eventually everyone went inside. they refused to let me help bc i had helped enough. i told ty i wanted to sit outside some more. it was so cute out there. the music was playing softly and i was cuddled up with ty and wearing his sweatshirt. it was a good vibe and i wanted to enjoy it.

(4) so we were sitting there quietly. he was just rubbing my shoulder with his thumb since his arm was around my shoulders. and then omg kate 🙈 this is so cheesy 🙈 thinking out loud by ed sheeran came on. ty got up and held his hand out. and asked “dance with me?” i had the biggest grin on my face and nodded. so we danced in his backyard 🙈 just like swayed back and forth nothing fancy. he was spinning me around and i was laughing. eventually we weren’t even dancing just laughing and swaying and trying to get each other to spin 🙈🙈🙈 until he finally pulled me in and we swayed again. i really almost said it again 🙈 but then he leaned down and kissed me. it was soft and sweet. we didnt stay out too long after that. but then we got ready for bed and stuff and he ran downstairs bc his brother used his phone charger and left it downstairs. and when he came back up he was so red. and i was like “are you good? did you just run a marathon or something?” and he flopped down on the bed next to me and groaned. he goes “my whole family saw that” and i said “saw what” and he goes “us dancing and the kiss. i just got hardcore roasted” and then i was like “oh” and he goes “my mom and sister think were adorable. my dad said i need to learn how to dance” which made me laugh. and then he goes “my brother told me my kissing game was weak and my mom glared at him and said it was respectful, which is how you should treat girls.” i hid my face in his chest and said ty this is so embarrassing. he said “your fault for laughing so hard it got their attention” but he said it jokingly lol. i said “maybe take your dads advice and learn to dance so i dont have to laugh” which made him laugh and squeeze my side. that made me squeal and i go oh no that was so loud. tyler was cracking up. but then he got serious and told me he was glad i was getting along with his family 🥺 he told me i fit with them well and that hes glad i was able to bond with his siblings, especially his sister 🥺🥺🥺

(4? 5? fuck i forgot again) and then today i woke up first before anyone else. so i threw on tyler’s sweatshirt and went and sat outside again. just enjoyed the morning. ty’s mom came out and asked me how i slept and all that. then told me she saw us two dancing last night. and she told me her son was clearly in l-word with me and then she smirked over her coffee mug and said “i think the feelings mutual” and took a sip of her drink. SHES SUCH A SAVAGE 🙈🙈🙈 i took a sip of my coffee just so i didnt have to respond and i could feel my whole face was on fire. but then she goes “you two are really sweet and im glad you make him so happy” and i said “he makes me happy too. you raised a great guy” and she smiled at me. then she told me stories about her and her husband meeting and stuff. and also about raising tyler. then his dad came out and brought breakfast. he also added in some stories. oh and his mom asked for my number and she sent me a few pictures she took of me and ty when we were sitting outside and when we were dancing 🙈🙈 idk how neither of us noticed them watching us through the window. but the pictures were cute. ty and his brother came downstairs and also ate with us. then ty and i went on a walk around their neighborhood which was nice and peaceful. when we got back we chilled with his family some more. his sister was awake too and asked me to help her with makeup. so we went to her room. and she was like “you and my brother are cute” 🥺 and she goes “that kiss was like a movie kiss” and i blushed 🙈 she told me how she hasnt had her first kiss and asked me about mine and stuff. it was kinda cute that she trusted me to like ask questions and be open. she was more open about her crush too and told me how he talked to her yesterday and gushed about how cute he was. i just let her go with it lol. and then she told me it was nice having a girl to talk to like a sister bc she cant talk to her brothers about that stuff 🥺🥺 so i told her if she ever wanted to talk she could reach out to me. so now she follows me on insta and has my number lol. then we sat with the fam again and had lunch and then it was time for ty and i to leave. everyone in his family gave me a hug 🥺 and they told me i should visit again 🥺 so it started off really scary but his family dynamic is so cute and they were all nice.

#i will scream in the tags #BUT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAT #IM SPEECHLESS #first of all as someone who is the judgemental younger sister lol she was def just warming up to you #but you guys went shopping together🥺#IM WEAK SHES IN COLLEGE CAME FIRST💀#but omg tys sister not the brother’s friend but that’s so sweet that she talked to you about her crush🥺#AWWW OMG DRIVING AROUND THATS SO CUTE #AND BITCH IM SCREAMING FOR YOU #ITS SO SCARY BUT ALSO WHEN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW👀#awww omg you guys are so cute #YOU GUYS DANCED OUTSIDE UNDER THE LIGHTS #HELLO THATS ACTUALLY A MOVIE #and they saw you omg😭#GIRL HE IS IN L WORD WITH YOU #BAHAHAH AND SHE CALLED YOU TF OUT #omg stop the way she trusts you so much already #i’m so so so happy you had a good time #IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUU #and i’m def missing stuff in these tags but it was hard to form a coherent thought after reading this all #roommate anon

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Note

and the last one for now (till we get more of the 100 arc) - we kinda need a director's cut on enough? 🥺 (BECAUSE YOU SPOIL US WITH SHOWING HIS RECOVERY).

anything for you my love! (i have a LOT of these coming, so i’ll queue them up through the rest of the week :))

commentary in bold italics because i cant figure out how to do the fancy colors

You knock on his door, takeout in your hand. “It’s me!”

After a minute of silence on the other side of the door, you take your keys out of your pocket and start to open the door. “Don’t shoot me. I’m using my keys.” You move to open it, and the chain is in place.

Okay I just love the fact that they have a key to his apartment?? After everything he’s been through and how unsafe he feels in his home? I’m soft.

Damn it, Aaron.

Then -

Is he okay?

The transition to light panic here was really important to me - I wanted to establish right away that the threat and the fear was still there, and the last time they couldn’t find Aaron, he was stabbed nine (!!) times.

“Aaron?” You call through the gap in the door. You leave the keys in the door and pull your phone out of your pocket, hitting the first number on your speed dial.

You hear his phone ring, a smack, and both from down the hallway and through the speaker (with an echo): “Hotchner.”

“I’m here with dinner. Open the door.”

His voice is thick with sleep. “You have a key, right?”

“The chain is on. I’m surprised I didn’t trip the alarm.”

He makes a little dissatisfied noise and hangs up. I love him. You can hear him plant his feet and walk down the hallway. You smile a little at him as he approaches the door, almost looking inconvenienced as he shuts it, removes the chain lock, and opens it again.

“Are you seriously upset that I brought you food?”

No, dear, that’s just his face.

He shakes his head and steps back, letting you in before closing it. “No, sorry. I just didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

You take stock of him as he turns his back on you and sits on the couch, settling with a slowness that looks painful. You set the food down and then return to lock the door. It’s easier for him to answer your question when you’re not looking at him.

I love how well they know him. Like...he refuses to be vulnerable with the rest of the team, and even with them, he only feels safe when he can’t be seen.

“How are you feeling?”

A sigh. “Alright.”

And yet...

You look over your shoulder as you slide the chain lock back into place. “Don’t lie to me. It won’t work.”

His head is in the takeout bag as he answers, still avoiding your eyes. “I’m sore and I can’t sleep at night and everything is healing slower than I want.”

There we go. There we go, indeed.

You sit beside him. “Do your dressings need to be changed?”

“I got most of them earlier, and Jess came over to help me yesterday, but there are a few that need to wrap around and I can’t -” He stops with a huff. “I can’t reach without -”

You put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I got it.”

His jaw is tight, shaky. “Thanks.”

Hotch and them just communicate with each other so well. They can understand what he needs and how he needs it presented to him.

“First,” you say, grabbing one of the boxes, “food.”

There’s a grateful little pull of his lips as you dig in. The news is on, but you pick up the remote and change it to some ridiculous reality TV program.

“I was watching that.”

“No you weren’t.”

He wasn’t.

This made me LAUGH like you wouldn’t believe. My parents do this all the time and it always makes me smile.

You avoid his exasperated eyes as you set the remote on your side of the couch - farther than he can reach without stretching.

You eat together in silence, the trainwreck on the television only marginally holding your attention. When you glance at him, you catch the side of his face twinge when he reaches for his glass of water.

“You know, not taking your pain meds doesn’t make you Captain America. It just makes you stupid, and in pain.”

This is the piece of dialogue that got me started on this little fic. I was like “wait a minute - this fucker won’t take his meds and he’ll need someone to take care of him and the writers DEPRIVED us of joy so maybe i’ll just give myself a little joy, as a treat.

He levels you with a glare.

+++

“Stop squirming.”

“Sorry.”

We love starting in the middle of a conversation/activity. I really hate writing build-up to stuff if it’s not actually relevant, so I’ve kind of worked on making scene starts feel active without being too abrupt. I’ve been known to write full on scenes and then just chop the shit out of them for pacing and structure.

My outtakes document is like 25 pages long because I never really get rid of anything.

With gentle fingers, you tape and tuck gauze around one of the wounds on his ribs. He flinches, a little pained noise leaving his throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Your fingers flutter for a second before setting back to work. Reaching blindly behind you, you grab the roll of gauze wrapping. “Hang on for just a second - this isn’t going to feel good.”

He takes a deep breath (as deep as he can, anyway, considering his injuries), and you begin wrapping the dressing around his ribs, passing the roll from one hand to the other. He grits his teeth whenever it pulls the right amount, and your lower lip disappears between your teeth.

I probably watched Aaron being in pain in carious episodes for close to an hour while putting this together. It sucked.

“I’m going to tuck it in front so you can reach it, okay?”

He nods, his eyes closed.

You’re sitting on his desk while he’s perched on the edge of his chair, his arm resting along the back - up and out of the way. This is the only place in the apartment he’s comfortable removing his shirt.

Every other room has a mirror or a big window.

ALRIGHT we’re gonna touch on Aaron’s insecurities here - we see his growth and confidence shift by the time we see him and Reader in mean it, where he feels comfortable when they take his shirt off and see his scars.

“Okay, one more.”

You’ve saved the hardest one for last, but it has to go in that order. It’s the one just above his collarbone, right off the hollow of his throat, that needs the most attention and frequent changes.

I noticed this dressing - the one right below his neck - on my final rewatch of Faceless, Nameless. I was scanning for things I missed, not looking at anything I’d seen before, and that just stood out to me. Thus, we got the extension of this scene that was originally going to end with “Every other room...window.”

You tip his chin with the tip of your finger, giving you more space to work.

Okay I didn’t even touch on the touching in this one. I think this is the most contact they’ve ever had, and I think something shifts in their friendship after this.

Gingerly pulling at the tape, you remove the soiled dressing. Aaron’s breath comes as deep as he can through his teeth. When it quickens, you stop.

You readjust so he can keep his head where it is and you can sit in his eye line. He meets your eyes with a tight jaw.

Yes, we are mirroring the shaving scene in mean it here! There are a lot of mirror moments between that fic and this one - a kind of breakthrough of intimacy in both cases.

“What can I do, Aaron?”

He closes his eyes again and tilts his head further to the side. “Just keep going.”

The tears come unbidden into your eyes as you continue your work, but your hands and breath are steady. They are so moved to his pain it literally made me cry. I just thought of the way their hands must have shook and like...the sight of the wound itself. My best friend was hospitalized two years ago, and even seeing her in any pain just brought me straight to tears. For these two, where that’s so part of their everyday, I can’t even fathom it. You can hear him match his breath to yours and you’re thankful for your relative composure.

The wound still looks wretched - angry and red and black and blue and weeping - but it’s not infected.

You hold a towel up and he gingerly presses it to his chest while you reach for the wound wash, hiding your face from him. This is as much about protecting themself as it is about protecting Aaron.

“Thirty seconds, thirty seconds,” you assure him. “Do you want me to count?”

I like the implication that they’ve counted the thirty seconds for him before, so I left it there.

He shakes his head. “Just do it.”

You shoot a gentle stream of the solution across the open tissue, held together by more stitches than you want to count, both internal and external. There are SO many delicate little ligaments and muscle fibers in the neck and upper chest - I asked my dad about it (reminder: he’s a former paramedic from Alameda county where paramedics can make an execute medical decisions lmao) and he said neck and clavicle injuries were a nightmare. Apparently, it’s like a minefield in there. The other arteries and delicate tissues of the body dont have so many key items, but the neck (obviously) does, with lots of room to damage upper and lower respiratory tracks. Thus...Lots of stitches. Anguished noises leave his chest through his teeth and you know he’s trying to suppress them with unsteady breath. His eyes are shut impossibly tight, and you can see unauthorized tears gathering in the corners.

Unauthorized tears came to me while I was searching in vain for an appropriate adjective here. I didn’t want to just say that he was crying - it wasn’t good enough. I wanted to demonstrate that he didn’t want to cry, that neither one of them wanted to make the other feel badly for their own anguish.

This is always the hardest part, and you’ve never gotten through it without crying. You hate how much he hurts. It’s like you can feel it yourself, the sting, the bone-deep ache, the throbbing.

Tears fall down your cheeks, some landing on your shirt and others wandering down your throat.

Even then, he knows you don’t pity him.

If he thought that, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him.

You wash and dab, wash and dab, until the wound is clean and fluid-free, apologizing the whole time. You throw both the wash and gauze to the side and reach for fresh wrapping while swiping at your eyes.

Fuck.

“Just a second.”

You’ve touched your face, so now you have to wash your hands. Again. We love good hygiene practice! You leave him and go into the kitchen, wash and dry your hands, and return to him.

He catches your eyes before you settle back down. There’s something behind his eyes you can’t name, and it sends something flying around your body.

That’s love, babey!! Haley smacked sense into him since last we talked and Reader has NO clue! Wild! I love dramatic irony!

You always feel a little guilty for your tears, but he understands. He thought for a moment, in the beginning, about what he would do if the situation was reversed.

I can just see Aaron thinking of this, almost getting stuck on it. He’s so sensory-oriented, so grounded in sensation and memory, that he would force himself to feel the full brunt of a hypothetical scenario where Reader is seriously injured.

He doesn’t have to imagine too hard because of course he remembers the gunshot wound in through and through, but it would be different if they were hospitalized or something.

After scant seconds of consideration, he had decided he could never be as composed as you, as vulnerable and open as you. He could never offer to clean and dress your wounds - the thought of causing you pain of any sort, even helpful pain, was unbearable.

Besides that, he would be so angry that you were hurt at all and wouldn’t be able to keep his hands steady.

Nothing like the barely-contained rage of cis white men born in the 1960′s! (Or maybe I’m just projecting my father here....anyways.....)

At the very least, he would probably scare you with the intensity of his fury. Anyone who ever laid a hand on you would be subject to a wrath comparable to that of God.

And Aaron’s mom is Catholic, so he would know.

I can’t wait to have more Mama Hotch! (For those of you who haven’t gotten to the reality check trilogy, I’ve named her Evelyn because a. it was popular when she was born and b. I needed Aaron’s mom to have a soft and elegant name)

There is not a moment where he takes your execution of this particular task for granted. He knows how difficult it is. He thinks, perhaps, that this is the bravest act of love he’s ever seen.

I love the way Aaron shows love. He’s adoring in kind of a different way, brave in a different way. There’s so much hiding beneath him if you know where and how to look. I don’t think people, either in the show or in the fandom or in general, really look critically at him that way.

But could you love him?

Love?

No.

Too old. Too broken. Too divorced. Too married to work. Too poor a father. Too many other things that make me wholly undeserving.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, subject you to himself.

God I mean there is SO MUCH in him that internalizes EVERYTHING. He thinks everything is his fault and I just????? Ugh.

He’s satisfied loving you in silence. He’d done it for a while now, he realized, after his conversation with Haley.

It would have to be enough.

It would have to be enough to watch you carry on with your joyful, vibrant life.

It would have to be enough to watch your face light up for someone who loves you, who puts a ring on your finger and makes you happy.

It would have to be enough to spoil your children if and when you became a parent, to hold the title ‘Uncle Aaron’ instead of ‘Dad.’

I added this last bit as almost an afterthought, and it was the one everyone seemed to love the most. Looking back, it’s my favorite too.

It would have to be enough to know you would outlive him and die loved.

It would have to be enough.

You pick up your tools again, using three fingertips this time to tip his head to the side at the temple. He almost smiles.

Here, I think its the juxtaposition between the direction of his thoughts and their gentle touch that makes him smile. It’s not a happy one, but I think its one of acceptance. He’s in a place, in this moment, where he actually trusts that they’ll be there.

“What?”

He shakes his head the barest amount and raises his eyebrows. “Nothing.”

I think they would have told them, if there was some way to explain it. But there wasn’t.

With a roll of your still-watery eyes, you get back to work, folding and pressing the gauze to the wound with a light, even pressure. You try to ignore Aaron’s hiss as the smile dissolves off his face, replaced by restraint and pain.

Holding the pad in place with one hand, you take the tape, hanging the roll on your thumb while you pull with your other hand. You tape all around the perimeter of it, gently warming the adhesive against his skin.

“Alright. Almost done.”

You have him hold the end right under the wound while you stand to better get around him. Once, like a sash, around his shoulder and across his back and under his other arm, once around his ribs, repeat.

Again, you tear and tuck it in front so he can reach, and gently pat it into place.

When it’s low-profile enough to disappear under his shirt -

“Finished.”

You turn and gather everything into the little bin that lives under his bathroom counter before he can say anything. And this is their way of hiding from him. I purposefully focused in on Hotch’s inner monologue during this part, instead of Reader’s. We already know how they feel and how much they love him and yet deny it from here to next year. I thought it was much more interesting to examine Aaron’s acceptance of his feelings in this moment. He watches you, and you can feel his eyes at your back.

The first time you came to visit after he got home, he was worried you’d look at him differently, was worried you’d pity him.

This was originally up where the first mention of pity is, but I needed that inner moment with Aaron before I went back to a recollection.

He shouldn’t have.

You showed up at the door looking at him just the same way you always did. He wasn’t sure quite what way that was, exactly, but it was the same.

The first time you offered to help him with his dressings, he refused outright. It was only when you saw that a wound on his left side had ripped a little and bled through his shirt that you wrestled him down and took care of it.

Harder still than exposing his pain? Taking off his shirt. You’d reached for the top button the first time and he flinched like he’d been burned.

He refused to meet your eyes.

This little memory was SUCH a clear image in my head - it was such a struggle to figure out where and how to include it. I was happy that I found a way to do it in a way that wasn’t jarring and didn’t detract.

“What on earth are you so afraid of?”

He opened his mouth as if he was going to raise his voice at you, but then snapped it shut, his jaw working. His eyes were trained on the carpet.

“Hey.”

He looked at you somewhat reluctantly.

“It’s just me.”

I know, he thought, that’s the problem.

“This,” you gesture to his general torso area, “is not going to scare me or freak me out. What does freak me out, however -” You point at him with a packet of sterile gauze. “- is the thought of you trying to do this on your own, ripping your stitches, you not going back to the hospital, getting infected, going septic, and having a generally bad time.”

He finally speaks, the barest bit of sarcasm in his tone. “That’s quite a reach, isn’t it?”

You shoot him a withering look. “If you can look me in the eye and tell me you’d willingly go back to get your stitches fixed every time you ripped them, I’ll leave you alone.”

He won't meet your eyes again, looking like a guilty child as his eyes wander to the corner of the room with a bit of a squint.

You made your point rather elegantly.

You pass him his shirt over your shoulder and he takes it, slipping his arms into the sleeves.

BECAUSE IT’S NORMAL. Reader simply doesn’t acknowledge his vulnerability because they don’t need to. They just accept it in him and make it safe.

His ridiculous number of button ups were coming in handy, especially considering the increased risk of stains. You’ve soaked more shirts in peroxide in the last week than you care to count.

Occupational hazard, I guess.

Getting blood out of dress shirts is an ART and Reader has MASTERED it.

You pick up the little bin and take it back into the bathroom, your fingers tracing over the framed photos of Haley and Jack in the hall as you pass.

There’s one of you and Haley, too, at some sort of summer function where you were all together. If you aren’t mistaken, Jess took the photo as you and Haley lounged in lawn chairs, laughing.

I love these little scenes that are captured in pictures. Most of the pictures I write in are not only for implicit characterization, but to capture little images and scenes I can’t find context for, or aren’t something I can put into a fic in any kind of neat and orderly way.

So, just like in my head, they live in still or just-moving-a-little images.

Another one of the two of you sits on the dresser in Aaron’s bedroom. You’ve never seen it.

It’s another Jess-capture. Haley has Jack in her arms, kissing him on one cheek with a smile while you press a kiss to the other, eyes shut tight. One of your hands rests lightly on Haley’s arm, the other makes bunny ears over Jack’s head. The boy’s face is all crinkled like he hates it, but Aaron knows that photo was bookended by a screech of laughter and many, many giggles.

It’s times like this where I wish I could draw Reader, so I could take this and paint it. I still might try with a vague impression of them....But I’m not sure.

+++

You bounce into the office in the morning, looking no worse for wear even after spending the night on Aaron’s couch.

Hey, it’s a comfortable couch.

The pair of you stayed out on the couch watching bad movies far later than you meant to, but it’s alright.

I just LOVE this image.

Not the first time that’s happened.

You could neither confirm nor deny that Aaron slept, but you saw, through his open bedroom door, that he was still and quiet for most of the night.

The open door was an important detail here. Naturally, Aaron would want to close himself off to as much of a threat as possible, but I think he actually feels safer with the door open when Reader is there just outside of it, rather than the alternative.

“You look chipper this morning,” Penelope notes.

You shrug. “I slept well last night.”

“How’s Hotch?” Emily asks.

Oh, gals you have no idea how related those questions are.

That’s another mirror moment to mean it, by the way.

You make a little wavering noise. “About how you’d expect, but alright.”

It’s later in the day when Dave pulls you aside and thanks you, wrapping you in his arms.

You lean into him and you’re almost frustrated, but not surprised, when tears press at your eyes again. It seems you’re made of them, these days.

“We’re so lucky to have you.”

You shake your head, burrowing into his shoulder. “Other way around.”

He pulls back and kisses you on the cheek, patting your other one affectionately before offering his hand to you. “Agree to disagree?”

You roll your eyes and shake on it.

“Sure, Dave. Sure.”

This reminds me of that little scene in redamancy when Dave and Mom are talking about how much he deserves to have one of the babies named after him.

And thus concludes director’s commentary for enough!! I’m always happy to answer process questions if y’all have any!!

#ssaic-jareau #a joyful future #aimz tag #tali provides commentary #tali talks cm

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