#to go from that to being in a LDR again would be painful

[vitiateoriginator]

Briefly talked with my fam last night about my datemate and mine's moving plans (we decided we're going to try and get in the apartment we were originally accepted for again, when another unit becomes available). We told them they need to be prepared in July, when my sis is supposed to get a raise. As soon as we're able to reapply, and they can afford to hold a lease without my help, we're leaving.

But recently my sister's job has threatened to cut her hours, because her company realized she barely does any work as our mom's healthcare aid, as mom can mostly take care of herself. She's been trying to aapeal the company's decision. She said while awaiting a trial for it, they won't cut her hours, and she's going to get a raise in July supposedly because the government is raising the pay rate for healthcare workers then

Now my sister is saying that her hours are going to get cut regardless, so they need me to stay with them, because they can't afford living in their apartment if I go. Despite the fact that she's perfectly capable of getting a new or second job. Then thety told me to look for an apartment owned by a different company than the place we're living at. That way I can keep my name on their lease. But my datemate and I have concluded all the other places are either too ratty for the price, out of our budget/we won't be eligible to get in (we need to make 3 times the rent combined), or they're too far from shopping areas for us to go to easily. The apartment complex we've chosen as our go to is literally perfect for us. But my fam tried convincing me otherwise

Then my mom chimes "wait if they move out, even if we get a third lease signer, we might not be able to afford rent with your hours cut [sister's name]!"

Without even considering my sister can just get herself another fucking job. Its always gotta fall on me.

#my datemate's ready to leave because he can't stand living with my family (completely understandable) #I think he'd just go back home to his abusive family tho. not break up #but still that would really suck cause he'd be all the way in jersey again #it would put more strain on our relationship #especially because we're ready to take the next step and move into a place just the two of us #to go from that to being in a LDR again would be painful #plus who does my family think they are trying to control what I do #without ever considering what they should do #the right thing I mean #manipulating me into doing what they want has always been their go-to for their self preservation #everyone I've talked to is roght #They're adults and can figure things out for themselves #Im almost 25 ffs. I should be able to go off and live my life #it's not like Im some bratty teenager who doesn't know what Im doing #I know how to pay bills. do laundry. make appointments. cook. clean. etc etc #and whatever I don't know I can look up or get help for #my sister can't even be bothered to consider working a job that doesn't let her sit on her ass all day #quite literally #she sits and watches tv all day and smoke weed and cigarettes interchangeably every hour without exaggeration #she rarely cooks anymore and assumes my datemate and I are going to order her and mom food without helping to pay for it #she cleans maybe once a month or if company is coming #she only leaves the house once a week to food shop and to get cigarettes and weed #but she isn't disabled ir anything. she can move just fine #she just doesn't want to work ''work smarter not harder'' sge says #meaning if you can get a job uou can sit and do nothing on then do it. and she fucking does #well now she's gonna have to get a real job. wait tables or work retail or get new clients where she already works. idgaf #she's gonna have to figure it out. its not my responsibility to make sure her and mom don't go homeless #mom can get into an independent living facility thru medicare. mybsis would have to be on her own. mom won't let that happen #so whatever. let them choose their own fate. Im leaving #sam's rants about life

[voltronisanobsession]

Late night thought ( listened to video games ldr)

Being star crossed lovers with Percy. Being soulmates throughout many lifetimes, fate will never let the two of you be together.

In every lifetime, one of you will bare the burden of knowing everything, from being destined soulmates, to all your past lives, to the terrible fate your relationship always succumbs to end. Reader happens to be the one carrying the weight in the current pjo universe timeline.

Knowing basically everything about him, you try so hard to not fall for Percy. Your heart breaks when you first meet him, Percy already stumbling over his words at the mere sight of you. The connection is strong between the two of you, but you want nothing more than to runaway.

You already know how this story will end. But you can’t help falling for him all over again, getting to know this new version of him, seeing the similarities from his past lives shining in him. Admiring his new traits that make your heart beat fast.

Spending more time with him, he falls for you just the same. He feels a pull to you, his body igniting with life whenever he was around you. Your wide smile, caring hands on his face, and sweet voice instantly offering him comfort.

He’s so comfortable being himself around you that it almost surprises him. You read him like an open book.

Everything is just easier with you. He feels like he’s known you his entire life.

I think the hardest part for you is whether to tell him or not. Keep him in the dark of your guys’ destiny, or ruin what beautiful relationship has blossomed in the time you’ve known each other.

Chiron might know what you two are, simply because he may have met you guys hundreds of years ago, in a different lifetime. He feels pity for you as you struggle to distance yourself from Percy.

Believing that leaving him will break what fate has in store for you, Percy can’t let go. You’re like his other half. You’ve been there for him through thick and thin and now you just want to leave?

He won’t let you go until you give him a good reason. He can’t let you go. Percy is in too deep to watch you walk away from what you guys have. What you won’t let happen.

And it’s at this where you let everything out. Pain and tears are released, watching with despair as Percy struggles to accept what you say.

“We can’t be together Percy! Everything, everything will always ruin us. It’s been written in the stars for thousands of years, we will always fail. Just for loving each other.”

Of course to make this more dramatic, Percy will definitely get a vision of some sort showing him your fates as star crossed lovers.

“That’s not- it can’t be true. That’s not FAIR! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how Percy. I didn’t know how.”

A lot of tears are shed that night. But just as much comfort is present. There’s no way to reverse your meeting, your fates are now permanently entwined. The only thing guys can do is hope to overcome your terrible fate.

Nights are filled with sweet whisperings. You guys would lay in silence, admiring each other as the stars shone bright in the dark sky. Each others soul in tune with the others emotions, walls are crumbled between the two of you.

Moments like these make up for all the pain and suffering that you both have went through. Gentle kisses on your face, Percy promises you’ll make it through anything, together. You caress his face, wearing a bittersweet smile.

But alas, nothing can change the fate of star crossed lovers. Stumbling across a monster during a quest, this is where the end begins.

Unlike anything he’s every seen, Percy can’t fight off the monster. No matter how many times he gets up, each time weaker than the last, the monster won’t die. It isn’t until it speaks that everything makes sense.

“A sacrifice must be made.”

A sick feeling is instantaneous between the two of you. Eyes wide in fear, you look to Percy. Despite the beating he took, he’s never looked as beautiful as he did now. You vowed to remember this moment of the boy in your next life.

Percy wanted to fight, he didn’t want to give up. He was angry, scared. He believed he could change your fates.

“Percy.”

“We have to try y/n! I can’t do this without you, please. I need you.”

“I love you. I loved you in the past, I love you right now, and I will always fall in love with you in the future. We’ll see each other again.”

He can’t stop you as you make your way to the monster. Fate works against him, keeping his body frozen and in place as he cries for you. Cries for your pasts. Cries for the emptiness he’ll have to endure once your gone.

It’s quick and swift, your death. You welcome it with bitterness, Percy’s crying breaking your resolve, but you have to continue. You’ll see your lover again.

Percy mourns everyday for you. He misses the soft whisperings you spoke that filled the dead of night in his cabin.

He mourns the life you both could’ve had if fate had not been so cruel to tear you apart every time. He’s forced to live a life without his other half once again.

He’ll miss the way you held his face, miss the way you made him laugh, miss the way you made him feel. He spends everyday living and remembering the memories of you.

Once the time comes, Percy welcomes death with open arms, reunited with you for a short moment until you’re both sent onto your new lives, starting the cycle all over again.

#pjo x reader #percy jackson x reader #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #Percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo concept #pjo x you #x reader #percy jackson pjo

[jut-and-dae-enthusiast]

LDR Struggles: Chapter 1 (Illness)

You get sick. How would you ldr skz bf react?

Part 1: Hyung Line

Warnings: being sick, throwing up, talk of taking medication, mentions of food

Chan:

Channies head lifted from his desk, jolted awake by the buzzing of his phone. He had fallen asleep in the studio- again. His eyes barely open, he reached for the device and furrowed his brow. You had tried to call him, apparently, but he must have just missed it. Without a thought, he calls you back, holding the phone to his ear.

“Hullo?” You answered, the congestion obvious in your voice.

“Are you okay?” Chan was fully awake now, concerned for his partner.

“Uh, yeah.” You coughed for a moment and then spoke again. “I have a pretty gross cold though. I just wanted to hear your voice. But you must be busy.”

“You don’t sound good at all, baby.” He sighed, wracking his brain for something he could do. His options were very limited. “Do you need anything? I can have it sent to you?” You coughed again, groaning softly in pain.

“I have all the medicine and stuff I need. I just need to *cough* rest and get better. Sorry to have worried you.” Chan bit his lip, looking down at his shoes.

“I hate this, being so far away. It’s killing me knowing that you have to be in so much pain all by yourself.” He scratches the back of his head, furiously blinking away the tears welling in his eyes.

“It’s not *yawn* your fault. It’s just how it has to be for now. I love… you…” You trail off, your voice soon replaced by gentle snores, indicating to Chan that the call was clearly over.

“Love you too.” He smiled softly to himself and ended the call. He sat quietly for a moment before grabbing his phone again and pulling up a food delivery app, sending some warm soup to your house before proceeding with his work.

Minho:

After ignoring whoever was incessantly calling you, you finally answer it with a weak “Hello?”

“Hey! Why have you been ignoring me?!” The loving voice of your boyfriend boomed through the speakers, almost making your eyes water. You frantically tried to turn the volume down, but the room was suddenly too bright.

“Have… Migraine… Softer… Please.” You plead with him, holding the phone a good distance from your aching head.

“Oh.” He’s quiet for a moment. He then speaks again, much softer this time. “I’m sorry, love. I hadn’t heard from you since yesterday and got worried. Is it a bad one?” All you can do is hum in response, trying to hide under your blankets for any sort of relief. “You ate today, right? You need to eat something even though you may not feel like it.” He’s quiet for a moment, but you can hear him softly reading something to himself. “I made a list of the foods that can help you feel better. I’m going to order you something and have it sent there.”

“Min, you don’t have to do that. You must be busy.” You protest, daring to poke your head from your blanket bubble.

“You’re right, I am busy.” He agrees. “But I know you won’t eat unless I feed you when you’re like this. And since I’m not there, having it brought to you is the best I can do.” After a few more quiet moments, he sighs softly. “Okay, it’s on the way. Go get some water, stretch a little, then eat everything I sent to you. Once you’ve done all of that, you can go back to bed. Deal?”

“Deal.” You smile softly, hesitantly crawling out of bed.

“I have to get back, but I expect text updates.” His voice is stern but you can feel his love.

“I love you, Minho.” You mutter softly, a smile resting on your face now.

“You better.” He teases and then follows with a quick “I love you too.” Before hanging up.

Changbin:

Being on different sides of the world usually meant that you would bombard Changbin with funny Tiktoks while he slept and he would do the same to you. So, naturally, when he received one from you just as he was about to send you one, he frowned and called you.

“Why are you up at this hour?” He asked as soon as you picked up.

“Hi baby to you too.” You rasp, your voice deeper and scratchier than usual.

“Are you sick?” He sat up from the spot he had been laying on the floor (to stretch out his back or something like that), worry evident on his face.

“Ah, you caught me.” You chuckle and then wince at the pain. “I got strep throat from one of my nephews, so it hurts a lot right now to swallow or do anything really. It’s been waking me up around this time for the past few days.”

“You went to the doctor, though, right?” He asks gently, trying his best not to nag.

“Yup. And I’ve got all the medication and cough drops I need. And I’m drinking a ton of water.” You inform him proudly. You can hear him sigh a bit, the silence on his side of the phone extremely loud. “Binnie? You there?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Were you really going to try and hide it from me?” He sounds hurt and you can almost perfectly imagine how his face looks: pouted lip with sad eyes and furrowed brows.

“Bin, I just… I’ve had to take care of this stuff myself for all of my adult life. It’s kind of just an automatic response to just handle it quietly at this point. I live alone and no one has the time to baby me.” You explain gently, a dry cough ending your sentence.

“Someday, when we get married, I’m gonna baby you so much whenever you get sick. I promise.” He says with a tone of voice that’s so cute you can’t help but swoon.

“I look forward to it, baby.”

Hyunjin:

You jumped awake, lifting your head from the cool bathroom floor, sweat dampening your hair around your face and on your neck. Your stomach lurched and you clung to the toilet, dry heaving since everything had come up hours ago but your stomach hadn’t gotten the memo. Your phone buzzed from the kitchen counter and, to your embarrassment, your boyfriend was trying to FaceTime you. With no excuse, you accepted the call and pointed the camera to the ceiling.

“Hey, my love. What’s up?” You tried to make your voice sound normal, head resting against the wall.

“Hm? Where’s my pretty girlfriend?” He muttered, looking closely at the screen. You rolled your eyes and brought the top of your head into frame.

“I’m right here.”

“Why are you sitting in the bathroom? Something’s wrong here.” He pressed and you could see his lips purse together. You yielded, too tired to lie to him. You pull the phone down and show your entire face, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Whats going on, my love?” He asked softly, seeing that you’re not well.

“I think I ate something bad when I was out with my friends last night. It hurts so badly and I can’t keep any food down.” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Aw, honey, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked and guilt bubbled in your chest. You knew what he was feeling, that useless feeling while your love is in pain. Too far away to do anything or to even help. You slowly stood and walked to your bed, feeling better even just having your boyfriend here with you like this. As you laid down, you looked at the screen and smiled softly.

“Can you just sing for me, Hyune? Sorry that’s cringe, I just-“ You immediately felt embarrassed by your request, not thinking about what he might be doing right then.

“Of course, love of my life. Are you comfy?” He looks at you with a small smile, propping his device against something and scrolling through his iPad for backtracks. “Any requests, pretty?” His voice is soft and you can see how happy he is to be helping you feel better.

#stray kids #skz fluff #skz #stray kids fluff #skz drabbles #stray kids boyfriend #skz comfort #stray kids sickfic

[long-distance-love]

Hey first I wanted to say my gf and I love you alls tumblr very much! It’s helped us a lot so far in our LDR, we just had our first in person meeting (two full weeks) cause I’m from the US and she’s from Italy. I was curious if you all had any tips for post time together blues? If this has been asked before I’m super sorry, I just know it’s hitting me and my girl hard even after one day back in our respective homes and I’d adore some advice at least.

Hey there lovely,

Thanks very much for your ask. 💕 We appreciate that you're here, and that you're making our little community all the more colourful!

Post time together blues is the worst. It will always suck, no matter what. It's a testament to the fact that life is worse without them next to you, and it hits very hard after some quality time spent together in person. But chin up, you'll get used to it and although it will always be horrible, you'll understand your reaction better in the next few times this happens, and you'll be able to deal with it better too.

For now, here's a few things that have helped us feel a little better:

Videocalling: Self-explanatory, but it's the best cure, period. Even if you both cry, seeing each other is better. It will be hard, but at least you'll see and hear each other, and eventually you'll laugh too, I promise.

Planning the next meeting: Also self-explanatory, but when you make plans for the future, it shifts your focus from the past to the future. It helps even if you just look at the calendar and figure out when it would be a good time to meet again.

Crying it out: Because let's face it, it's fucking depressing. And it's okay to let it out. Don't bottle it up, let yourself feel it until you adjust to your routine once more.

Keep busy: It might be a good time to make yourself busy with something, even if it's mundane. Just give yourself something to do, tire yourself out so you can sleep better. Go through your wardrobe and sort out clothes, clean, go out and meet friends, spend time with family.

Make art: It worked for me, so hey, maybe it'll work for you too? I used to write poems, but the possibilities are endless. Knit a scarf for them. Write a short story about you two. Or a poem. Draw them a picture. Whatever you do, just make sure you share it with your partner.

Game together: This might not be everyone's cup of tea, but my husband and I often played SWTOR together while being on a call on Discord. It's entertainment, distraction, connection over a shared hobby and overall, time spent together. An alternative to gaming could be watching YouTube or Netflix/Disney+ together.

Keep an eye on your mental health: This particular period can really make your mental health decline if you don't keep it in check. Any conditions you have will probably worsen for a time, so ride it out if possible, but seek help if it isn't. There is no shame in asking for help, even just for support from the people around you. The amount of times I asked my mom for a hug or cried while holding my dog was, well, a lot. But it helped, it really did.

You'll get the hang of it eventually, and they'll get easier in time. But for now, I know what you're going through, I feel your pain, and I'm here to tell you that it's all going to be worth it in the end.

Stay very strong, the both of you. 💕

- Danny

#danny loves #benny & danny asks #the writing-dragon #relationship #couples in love #long distance relationship #long distance couple #long distance problems #long distance love #long distance call #love #love asks #love advice #relationship asks #relationship advice #long distance relationship advice #long distance relationship questions #relationship questions

[properparadox]

A look back at 2022

The year was opened with a parting of ways. I resigned from the previous law firm, to pursue yet another new career. At this age, I am getting too old to start a new career, so I do wish that this will be my final one.

Unfortunately, I resigned too soon, and while waiting for the call up from the new workplace, I was unemployed for more than a month, something that made me terribly nervous that it might dragged on further.

Thankfully, the issues that had been shackling me for the previous two years was finally solved. After that, I was finally able to regain my independence. Knowing that this happened before I was called to start my new job, in retrospect, perhaps the universe did set me up so that I was already, totally, free before I start the new job.

Since the job was in other city, and there was no more WFH, it meant that I had to move again. The new place was located not far from the uni where I studied, so at least I already understand the surrounding areas. I thought I also have some clues about the job I was going to take, as I have some experience with it. So the rest should be easy, right?

Oh, how I couldn't be more wrong.

Even after spending most of this year in this city, the same city that I'd lived at for more than five years before, it was still difficult for me to like this city. Sure, the air was nice, but everything everywhere felt too crowded. So crowded, that I didn't really want to go anywhere during the weekend, even though I had been trying to go somewhere every weekend when I was in Jakarta.

For work, having nothing to do for a few months was actually depressing af. I felt so awful that I did want to leave, and I considered talking about it to a senior at work. I still talked to the folks at my previous workplace sometimes, so when things got rough I imagined that I would resign here and returned there, to the dismay of many people, and being ashamed at myself.

But at least things improved. Work piled up, and I found myself enjoying the stress. Sure, the work was difficult, it felt like I had to write one academic paper every two months, but it was fun. During uni, I did study about this work, and I liked it back then, and turned out I still like it even today.

Just like any of my other workplaces, this one was not perfect, but perhaps, I could tough this one out.

Meanwhile, having a loved one also helped in coping with the stress. I had someone to talk to all the time, someone to accompany me. Too bad we're still in an LDR.

Another highlight of this year was that, I started to have health issues. I had to go to the hospital several times because of some debilitating pain and other issues, but at least I feel fine now.

So, what to hope for next year? More money, better health, a loving relationship, all in all, improved life in general.

[omomygods]

Mood: Maudlin

I'm in bed, trapped in a low swing (thank you not, rapid cycling bipolar). A few hits of cannabis has my body at least providing me with a pleasant all-over tingle. Because I've been having accidents again, I'm cushioned in my favorite pair of training pants.

Earlier today I had a bit of a breakdown—my closest local friend moved to South America, and I just kind of broke when my partner picked up on one of my trying-not-to-cry tells.

I still can't tell if it was that or the situation that made me finally lose it. I just know I felt, and that's just...it's been foreign to me for a long time.

I also know that I got close to something that happens sometimes when I get overloaded with emotions: I very nearly had an(other) accident while I was there, wrapped up in my partner's arms.

It wouldn't have been the first time, and it's even happened recently.

But the first time that I remember it being exactly this was a lifetime ago.

The first time it happened was around the beginning of when I knew I had a situation. I was in an LDR with my high-school crush/good friend, and he had ghosted me for days—days where I figured out a few patterns:

He only interacted when I was dysphoric, and then only to get off on it,

He would ghost for days at a time, no explanation,

He would Apologize for the above, but do it again almost immediately, and THEN, most egregious, I discovered

He'd been lying about also being trans, a lie that pulled so much soul pain out of me that he then made a fetish of

I couldn't take it. I typed my breakup message through shaking hands and hot eyes...hesitated...realized I deserved better than that. I hit send, then collapsed to the cold floor in a W-sit, somehow managing to keep myself from just breaking down there, choking back every heave.

What I was not prepared for was having an accident. Somewhere between painfully restricted totally-not-crying-you-guys and hitting the ground, my bladder called it quits, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in a slowly growing puddle.

When I realized I was having an accident, that's when I started crying—which broke the little control I had going for me. I was lonely, I was lost, I was hurt. I wet, I cried. You're fucking grown, the voice in my head screamed. I watched the puddle grow under me.

I have a recurring nightmare: my friends discover that I'm trans and have not gotten The Surgery(tm), and all of them just straight up abandon me. This dream usually results in either a near-miss or a straight up bedwetting incident. In five days, it's happened three times. It's ridiculous—I've had this dream enough times I know it's not directly the fear of abandonment that sets it off: it's the pain when it happens that does it.

It's a ridiculous fear. For one, they all know I'm trans and haven't left. But this fear persists. And that fear kicked in last night, and I wet the bed. And earlier today, I almost had another. I had to get control over myself before it happened again.

If I'm lucky, I won't have the dream a third time.

#omomg gets chatty #omomg has an accident

[tordenvejr]

hi vic! i’m not sure to do about staying in contact with my ex girlfriend. we mutually broke up a week ago as she’s moving overseas (she’s not from the country we met in). would be impossible to do a ldr and not sure if I’d want to commit to that at 23 anyways. it was a painful decision for us both as we only just told each other we love each other but we’ve also only been together four months. easily the most compatible and healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in. she’s brilliant. i’m a big fan of her. we decided to separate before things got too messy which we both felt would inevitably happen over the coming months. i also am not going to be leaving the country for at least a year because i need to finish my degree. she is going back home for a month and we’ve agreed to take some space until october (she said she’d reach out on my birthday) where we will get dinner and catch up. we even discussed sending each other letters and meeting up if we are ever in the same country again. i’ve never been one to stay in contact with an ex but this felt different. i can’t tell if this is just us wanting to hold on in any way possible because we are in love. no idea how to navigate this!!

hi naarm ✨🌙 that sounds like it's been a lovely relationship 💛 i think you'll naturally be able to see as you go along if it's being kept alive out of clinging to one another or if it simply feels right to keep each other in your lives. for being close apart i think letters are great, because it's something physical, phone calls can be so close and magical. feel into what sort of place and role you'd like her to fill in your life, today? now that it's different and new once again. i don't know if i can be much help as it seems like it's all really for you two to figure out, but i wish you both all the best ⭐️

#answered

[thecuriousbitch]

That Thing Called Heartbreak

Today, as you sit in a coffee shop, reflecting on the exquisite pain of your recent heartbreak after two years of dating a man you thought was "the one," you can't help but wonder, what went wrong? "Is it me? or him at fault?

When you entered this relationship, you were hopeful for the future. The LDR for 18 months was fun, exciting, and interesting. He checks all the boxes, and you were fine being single for the previous two years before meeting him. In fact, you felt that having a man was just a bonus. You met him, and your perception about marrying decisions shifted to "the potential and possibility," which, by the way, for many years was something you never entertained. You see the potential of the relationship: that it could lead to something more serious like "partners for life." He always reassures you that things will be OK.

For many years, I never saw myself marrying—the thought of it scared the shit out of me. But he was different—or so you thought.

Fast forward to January 2023, and the positive emotions turn into anger, sadness, loneliness, and confusion a few weeks later. It is hard to accept the sad reality that after all the sacrifices you both made, it just went to the empty trash section. It sucked. It is painful.

I had moments when I questioned my decision to let him go. Questions like; 

If I became more understanding, would it make a difference?

If I tried to adjust, would it work?

If I accept him for who he is (the good, the bad, and the ugly), would he be more invested in meeting my expectations?

But whenever I think back to when the sadness struck out of nowhere and I was tempted to reach out, I remind myself of why it ended and why I had to end it -- because deep down, I KNOW WHAT I DESERVE .louder, please. 

"I KNOW WHAT I DESERVE!

My definition of love has changed over the years, and as I turned 40, I knew exactly what I wanted in a lifetime partner. the love I fuckin’ deserve because I knew what I was capable of giving.

The future is blurry; it's somehow scary to start all over again since this is very unnerving for me. Funny that I do not know how to handle heartbreak anymore. I feel so lost. There were times when I realized I was being too hard on myself, blaming myself, questioning my worth, and even asking God why I had to go through it. 

The melody of sad songs makes me emotional. Hello, heartbreak! 

The thought of him made me bipolar.

The thought of a fantasy relationship that turns sour is a difficult pill to swallow.

My EGO was touched to the core. I am not accepting of it.

The possibility of hopeful-land that just maybe he will change after realizing his mistakes

This relationship BROKE me. I will never forget the intense pain I am feeling.

Some of my dearest allies and friends told me to move on. easier said than done. Nobody will ever understand the rollercoaster of feelings I had to endure - days where I am feeling okay, then the waves of sadness and guilt kicked in. There were days, it is almost unbearable I couldn’t figure out why. 

I hope one day, when I look back a few months from now or a few years from now, I will find clarity as to why it never worked out. I trust the universe to grant my wish to find the man who is the "perfect fit" for my craziness tendencies (LOL) and will accept me for who I am.

Until then, settling is not an option.

For now,  I wanna work double time to keep loving myself to find the genuine happiness I deserve. The love that is easy. To allow myself to find the true love, if there is such a thing. 

As Carrie Bradshaw once put it, "Maybe some women can’t be tamed." Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.

Xoxo

K

#heartbreak #reflection #self love #moving on #positivity

[the---hermit]

Hey, I'm the anon with the long af ask, I'm terribly sorry about all that, I'm a terrible curious person, sorry to bother you with all that. Sadly the pain still there but at times it calms the fuck down so that's good.... Anyway I would liked to thank you to take the time to answer my stupid ass questions. I'll give you my answers to those even if you didn't asked for it hahahaha.

- cold latte (I know, I can see your disappointment and judgment from here you Italian lady) and lately I've been enjoying cold brews.

- I would go for law. My dad, brother and sister are lawyers so I guess I could join them.

- Romantic thing idk hmmmm... getting out of my way to help the ones I love I guess even if it takes time and effort like not sleeping because I'm helping them.

- Irrational fear.... sharks in the pool I'm 20 something and still afraid of that scenery. That and encountering my dad in his ghost form (long story). But RIP dad long live my king.

- face reveal.... I have my face in my pp that and I've already ask stuff out of annon so ✔️ on that I guess.

- pasta.... I'm from the other side of the globe so I think what we do here is butchering your food and I'm sorry but I recently had carbonara with truffle, really yummy.

-I've done LDRs it takes a tool on you mentally, you gotta be prepared and be mature on that. Some of us can handle it some don't. Guess it depends on the person.

-marriage and kids, sure we gotta take advantage that us the LGTV (😉) ppl can get married and get those little benefits, plus my culture is huge on marriage so big parties and stuff but like you said it's more on the benefits of being together hahahah and kids I'm a 50/50% if she wants cool if she doesn't want cool too. She's the one getting the baby hahahah why not me? My genetics are fucked up so out of sympathy I wouldn't let that human deal with that or this? hahahhahaha

I think that's it.

Btw my second language is English too so don't worry about it hahahaha to my eyes your English is perfect.

You don't need to post this if you doesn't want to. I just will know you read it and that's fine by me.

Hello again anon, it was very interesting to compare answers! I'm sorry your meds aren't fully helping.

(I'd rather you don't call me lady, thank you)

Again I hope you'll feel better, thanks for keeping me company, and have a good day!

#ask #asked #asks #answered #anon #cris speaks #the---hermit

[flareflarerp]

OOC: Well I’ve hit a very big low today

It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks.  I never let my emotions show like this because I’m always so cheerful and happy and you can’t see my suffering but let me tell you I have been and it has been eating away at me for the last five years. I starting dating my recent ex back in June of 2017. Shortly after my lung surgery, It was a LDR but I have been quite accustomed to it. But it soon turned very toxic on both ends. He would self harm himself and I never supported him when his parents or he was having a very rough time in his life and he would always send me the photos and blame me for not being there with him.  I eventually gave him the ultimatum of either stop cutting or I walk which was a very poor choice of words at the time. Knowing that if I walked he’d probably off himself which has happened before in previous relationships. I'm only 26 & I’ve had 10 relationships so far and 4 of them are ex-fiancé’s. I know I have a problem and that problem is I am afraid of being alone. I will date anyone just to keep that pain of being alone from ever reaching me. But I never was happy. I haven’t been for a long time.   Only just recently (in April) was I able to step up and walk out on him and it has been a toxic five years when he finally was going to be out on the street and I told him I wouldn’t be able to do anything for him because of the distance and again he attack me being not supportive for him and I had it and snapped and walked out on him. You can say whatever but it was mostly on my end and I could’ve prevented this from happening but it what it is. Say I’m toxic or say he is. It doesn’t matter. These last 4 months I have been able to try and move on and be happy but just today he messaged me again after I have had ghosted him for the last few weeks while I was fighting a bad viral infection in my lungs. I can’t see him anymore and not see the horrible things he had done to me and what  I have done to him.  My only escape is discord and rping with Chroma or Someone just to not think about it. But I know sometimes they’re busy and it feels like I’m just annoying them. Just like with SugarRush recently. I have been sending her money whenever I can but recently she hasn’t acknowledged my fucking existence. I sent her $65CAD over the last 6 days and I just wanted to know if she got it but she just ghosted me and it fucking tears my fucking heart out to a fucking cinder.  I don’t have to be kind. But I see people suffering and I see it as a call for me to help. All I am trying to do is see if you are receiving my money. If you want me to stop just tell me and I fucking will. All I  want to do now is disappear and not be seen. Just go back into my introverted shell that I was in for the past four years! 

#vent #Im sorry if my emotions are showing

[notanotherblackbird]

It’s been so long since last I was here that I opted to just make a new account. If I can muster the energy to figure out the old one, I’ll probably use it again, but for now I’m happier just to talk into the void.

It’s what I’ve always used tumblr for anyway. The only journaling that’s ever stuck, that’s ever felt like I was talking rather than “journaling.” That word doesn’t look right but even that can’t be helped in the summer of 2022.

Not only have I felt so poor mentally recently I actually physically think something might be wrong with me. All things considered I’m not in pain or suffering for the time being so if there *is* something wrong with me, I’ll be fine for now. I have money saved but not for a medical fiasco, so until it gets worse I suppose I stay the course.

The heat is terrible though. The heat makes me want to yeet myself from this mortal coil, but I also worry that I’m going to get heat stroke just from it being so hot. I know it gets hotter elsewhere but I’ll be damned if it’s not just too hot to cope some days.

I feel like my emotions have like, scabbed over. That’s the best way I can describe it. Everything happening in the world is terrible. I miss my LDR partner. I fight too much with my roommate. I don’t have any friends that are girls and I’m honestly too scared to try to make new ones. My guy friends are fine and all but I miss having people to confide in. I just, miss girls in general. Reading that back sounds like I’m a dude which is, funny in a bitter way I guess.

One of my old friend group married a past coworker of mine who I actually despised. He was truly an awful human being. I had to work with him during the election the awful orange was elected and listening to his smug attitude about it was the worst. Even though I just wanted to work he would go out of his way to pester me and talk *at* me about it. He is one of very few people I’ve sincerely used the word hate for and meant it. I’ve not said anything to her about it, if she’s happy she’s happy. Our friendship had been tenuous at best as she had pulled some pretty shitty stunts in the past that led to us not being friends for some years.

Another friend I reconnected with the year before the pandemic, only to swiftly distance myself because she was like “lol yeah now that I make money I kind of get why people become conservative.” She and I grew up in very different financial circumstances but had been friends since early grade school. Lost touch in college only to reconnect after I moved states. And then…to hear that, just, icked me so much.

Money? Of all things to make you think ahh yeah let’s forget all of the trampling of human rights just for the sake of money. No thanks. I grew up surrounded by people with money. None of it is worth the atrocities.

For the record, though I deeply do not expect to get even a bot’s interaction with this, I’m not interested in debate. This is literally just for me to type unfiltered thoughts and I’m not trying to speak in nuance or change minds or have mine changed.

My other two old school friends dipped out of my life completely, one long before I moved, one long after. One because I wouldn’t conform to her desire to go out or socialize with other people who lived in our hometown. One for, as I was told by another friend entirely, “crossing lines I knew were there even though she’d never specifically mentioned them.” No not physically, literally for giving advice. Advice she didn’t want but did ask, specifically, for. Like, “What should I do in situation X?” “If I were you, I’d do this in situation X.” “Yeahhhhh, it’s so hard though…”

I’m still bitter about that last one. Mostly because when I talked to the friend who clued me in on *why* I was ghosted in the first place, it truly just felt like she hadn’t actually liked being my friend in the first place and just, was anyway. I’ve been hurt and confused since it happened and the best closure I’ve had was literally just accepting she didn’t like me at all.

If my heart was shaped like a classic love heart and broken into four pieces from those friendships alone, the first would have just been a chip off the bottom, broken from our fight long long ago. The second and third, the two bumps along the top, my oldest friendships and sad for different reasons.

But the last took everything that was left. And now, though I deeply wish I knew how to talk to other women I have actually no clue. I get nervous and clumsy and say too much and not enough. I don’t have “traditionally feminine” hobbies but I’m afraid of getting to know even the women I run into through them.

I have joined so many discords to try and branch out but I’m too nervous to talk in them. I’m so awkward at this point it’s so so…dumb honestly. I’m being dumb. I don’t know how to be less dumb about it either.

I super wish this was an “I’m not like other girls” problem because at least then I’d be doing it on purpose. But I think at least part of the issue is that while I’m in a committed relationship at present and have no intention on changing that, I’m bi but have no experience with women. I didn’t come out even to myself until the last few years and by then I was already in a relationship. 

The more I’ve really come into accepting myself though, the worse it’s gotten trying to talk to other women. It’s like being a stereotype of a teen boy who just can’t help but put their foot in their mouth with every word they say.

One of the friends I hang out with has brought one of their female friends around to hang out and play a game with us and despite even knowing this person previously, I could barely get a sentence together and when I did it was, cringe? At best? Again not in an “I’m hitting on you way” more like an “ah yes I’m definitely a human and not an alien trying to communicate” way. I still feel like such an idiot even though no one said anything about it.

I think it’s like, I’m trying too hard. I want to be accepted so so badly that I’m like trying to build a house of cards but I kick the table full force every time I need to get another card. I go from talking too much about myself, to trying to start conversations at the wrong time, or asking weird? maybe? questions? until I eventually just stop talking and sit there paralyzed thinking about every dumb thing I’ve said or done in the last however long.

Why do I not have this problem with talking to men? I have no idea. Sometimes I say dumb stuff when talking to guys, but I can just brush it off. My partner and I can absolutely rib each other for hours while playing games and we just laugh about the dumb stuff we say and carry on.

If I could attribute any labels to it it’s like, men will activate my fight response more than anything else. I’m ready to spar with words at the drop of a hat. With women? It’s like flight and fawn and freeze are all tangled up and I can’t navigate my way through a single one of those responses without making an absolute fool out of myself.

I don’t know how to fix it other than just, continuing to try. But it really is *physically* painful trying to not drag myself after doing so.

Well not to end this unceremoniously, but I’m tired finally and it’s nearly 6am. I hope literally no one reads this all the way through, and if you did, well I’d apologize but this isn’t exactly content for other people. I don’t remember how to add a read more on mobile either.

Good night, sweet void

#journal #talking to the void again

[soracities]

I have a friend whom i met virtually, i developed feelings for her and i told her about it. she recently got a gf (ldr) and after months passed i feel like we barely talk now and honestly it makes me feel so lonely. I'm still not able to move on from her i cant imagine talking less and less especially if her girlfriend move to her place. I want to tell her that i miss the old us but i feel like it's no use and i know she doesn't feel the same. I don't know what to do

I don't think you ever will be able to move on from her as long as you are still talking with her and trying to maintain, or at least holding on to, your relationship from before. Closure doesn't work that way, lovely. I know it may be painful, but I really think you need to look at the reality of the situation as it stands, which is that, if she has a girlfriend, she will be spending more time talking to her and prioritising growing that relationship which is completely natural -- I think you also need to try and consider how things look and feel from her perspective: given your friend doesn't feel the same way and given she is in a relationship with someone else now, she most likely may not feel comfortable going back to how your friendship was, which is entirely reasonable and you need to respect her feelings in this -- it would not be fair on you and your feelings for her to do so, and it certainly wouldn't be fair on her girlfriend, either.

I suspect, deep down, you may know what you need to do, but may not be ready for it -- there will not, however, ever be a time when you are ready for it. The truth is that no matter how badly you may want your friendship to continue as it was, that cannot happen right now and you need to allow yourself to acknowledge and accept this; as long as you still have feelings for your friend, you will always be hoping that those feelings will be reciprocated, which means you will always, whether you intend to or not, feel pain, jealousy, sadness and disappointment, when she inevitably starts seeing someone -- all of these things will prevent you from being happy for her (because you are not really seeing your friend as she is here, you will be seeing a missed opportunity, or a desire that is never met), and to try to continue your friendship when all of this is simmering below the surface will only lead to more heartache down the line.

Whatever your friendship was like before, things have changed and this is inevitable -- you really, really need to be able to accept this before you can begin moving on with your life. It doesn't mean you are unworthy or unloveable or not good enough -- it simply means that some people are not right for us, and we may not be right for them and all for completely arbitrary reasons that have nothing to do with your value as a person. I think what you are holding on to right now is the sense of connection, importance, and closeness this friendship gave you -- stepping away from it does not mean, however, that you will not find that again. It may help you, though, to look at your day-to-day life and ask yourself if there is something in it that's missing and that this friendship has acted as a balm for, or simply made easier to deal with. If something is missing, then I think it might be time for you to examine this -- what that thing is, where it comes from, and how you can go about addressing it. All this so that you are able to come out of your situation not overwhelmed with loss and little else, but with a sense of trust in yourself and your ability to be able to handle this loss, and still be able to find something fulfilling to build out of it for yourself.

It may seem impossible now, but you will be able to move on from this -- you must, however, be completely honest with yourself first and accept the situation for what it is, before you can close this chapter and try to move ahead towards something more fulfilling for you. I don't know how much this will help, but I'm sending you lots of love to see you through this, anon x

#ask #anonymous #notes from elsewhere

[mae-gi-writes]

Calling... | Juyeon (tbz)

Juyeon tbz! x f! reader 

Summary:

Long distance is hard, even for people like you and Juyeon. 

Genre: angst, some fluff, LDR relationship

A/N: some self-indulgent angst because I’ve been feeling low these days and have nowhere/no one to vent it to. 

-----

"We’re going to get through this, Y/N. I promise.” 

That promise. You’re not sure whether that’s a curse or a blessing. Every single day becomes a torturous game between wanting to give up everything that you’ve built with the man of your dreams and pushing forward towards the happy ending you’ve always hoped for. 

It was easier in the beginning. Maybe because you were both so new to the prospect of love, that you didn’t know what you were missing from each other. It only grew harder the more the years went by and though some people said that the pain gets easier, you’re not quite sure whether they’ve supposedly missed out the part where you keep falling deeper in love with him every day. 

Maybe if you didn’t love him so much, it would hurt less. And god, you wished that would happen. You wished a miraculous cure would numb the swell in your chest every time you had a spare moment to think of what Juyeon was doing. You wished that it would stop the familiar burn of tears tearing your throat apart every time you forced yourself to keep down your choked cries for the sake of not crying. Because you were sick of that too.

This kind of pain is toxic and unsurmountable, to an extent that you start wondering whether life would be easier without Juyeon around. 

"A few more months Y/N,” Juyeon says, face taking up your phone screen as you put the device onto your nightstand in favour of curling your knees up to your chest. You’re trying very hard not to cry, and hope that he can’t see the silent tears slipping past your lids, “it’ll go by quickly, I--” 

“Yeah yeah, I know,” you mumble out, having already heard this mantra over a thousand times. It’s the same thing, after all. A few more months, a little bit more time, just a little-- you’re so fed up of all this waiting, of everyone telling you the exact same thing. 

You’re so sick of it. You can’t even look at the camera anymore.

"Where...Where do you think we stand?” comes his question. A little hesitant, but without any stutter. And when you look back at his face, you notice the downward cast of his eyes, the saddening turn of his lower lip. 

It’s hurting him just as much and you hate it. You hate how guilty you feel about dragging him into this when he’s only just a victim. 

“What do you mean?” you ask softly. 

Juyeon takes a soft breath, exhales, “like...do you think we have a hundred percent chance? Or...fifty percent? Or...” 

He trails off, but you understand what he means, and shrug while scratching the back of your head, “definitely not a fifty,” you say, biting your lip, “and...there’s nothing that can make me say we’re less than a hundred, but...” 

You’re not certain what to say there. It’s touchy, and you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend more than you are at this particular moment. 

If you had been asked a question a year earlier, there is no doubt your answer would’ve straight up been a hundred percent. And you’d say it with confidence too, Juyeon knows that.

But it hurts so fucking much.

It hurts so much that it’s the only thing you can think about every day. 

It makes you sad. It makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry because there is literally nothing else you can do to take your mind off it. 

"Do you...are you--" his voice wobbles, then breaks off without courage of actually saying the words out loud, "I--"

You shake your head, lips trembling as you murmur, "I'm not--I`m not gonna do that, Juyeon."

You fear that saying the words out loud might make it come true. And you don't want to imagine what that would be like, even if you entertain the possibility at the back of your mind.

The silence overcrowds the distance between you and the phone. For a minute, you can't bear to meet Juyeon's eyes. Your fingers start picking your nails apart, a nervous habit you've manifested whenever you get anxious.

When Juyeon speaks next, his words are laced with pain and he doesn't even try holding back a sob, "please," he exhales shakily and even from your tiny screen, you can see the redness lining his eyes, "please don't break up with me."

Your heart aches at the sadness etched onto his features, "I'm not," you repeat it more firmly then, "I won't."

He doesn't answer. But then again, you've probably shocked him to the core.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," you say quietly.

"No, it's okay. I--" running a hand through his dark locks, you note his jaw clenching, "I didn't know you felt this way. I'm the one that should be sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"It is, though isn't it?" He chuckles emptily, "I guess I...I'm not doing enough."

"That's not it, Juyeon. It hurts a lot. This, everything. And I'm just tired. I'm tired of always crying. I'm just so fucking tired."

And then you burst into ugly sobs.

----

The weather has gotten warmer now that June is in full swing. Your final semester is over and that means a little bit of freedom before starting your job search. It is enjoyable and peaceful, walking across town with your friends, meeting up at odd hours of the day and finding new treasures that your town has to offer.

You are currently in the middle of parking your bike next to the harbourfront when your phone suddenly buzzes in your pant leg.

"Hey," you say as you pick up the receiver, "what's up?"

"Hey," there's a little bit of static before Juyeon'a voice comes through, "I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm at the harbourfront. Getting some air."

"That's nice," a pause, then, "how was it?"

"I think I might have enjoyed it more than I should've," you tell him as you walk up to the edge of the harbour. The water lolls peacefully against the edge and it calms you down, as the talk has earlier, "it helped. A lot."

He breathes out softly, "that's good to hear. How...how do you feel?"

"Surprisingly serene."

"Woah, fancy description."

You can't help but laugh at that, "thanks. I try."

A comfortable silence fills the air and you lean down, hand outstretched to catch some of the waves lapping up along the edge, "and you?" It's been a while since you've managed to speak to Juyeon properly. You miss him, "how have you been?"

"Oh you know," you hear him shuffle, "keeping myself busy. I started working at a skateboard shop. It's been...interesting."

"Do you even know how to skateboard?"

"I can stand straight on one. Does that count?"

You giggle, "no, you goon. You actually have to be able to skate on it."

You talk for a little while longer as you enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with a breathtaking view. Even more breathtaking as the sun slowly sets over the horizon and giving bloom to hues of orange and salmon pink bleeding into the clear blue sky.

It has been nice to talk to someone. As per Juyeon's request a few weeks earlier, you had decided to sign up for a free counselling session. You weren't a big fan of people poking around your thoughts and feelings, but the consultation had actually been really enjoyable. To unleash everything that you've been carrying in your heart is a weight that has suddenly lifted off your chest, and you feel shades lighter as you spend the reat of your evening roaming through town, getting your groceries, walking along the pavement back to your flat.

"I gotta go now," Juyeon says as you unlock your front door, "Changmin's been bugging my ass for thirty minutes."

"Well please tell him I have nothing to do with this."

"You had everything to do with this."

"Lying will get you nowhere."

"And I will tell him anyway," he singsongs, causing you to chuckle good-naturedly. That is, before the next words come to shake up your heart a little.

"I miss you."

You smile softly, sadness combing through your chest, "I do too, Juyeon."

"Stay safe, okay?"

"You too."

"Talk soon Y/N," his voice is filled with a gentleness that makes your heart sing, and you repeat back the said words, a mixture of melancholy and fondness blooming inside your chest.

Ending the call and setting down your groceries atop the kitchen counter, your eyes find the date circled in red.

Your lips curl into a smile.

----

"Flight A472 has arrived. Travelers, please make your way to the luggage section.“

The intercom buzzes with static to repeat the earlier statement and you feel your heart flutter in your chest as you slowly get up from your seat. You've been waiting at the nearby fast food joint until now, and it's no surprise that your butt feels numb and flat.

Stretching your limbs and picking uo your bag, you sling your navy coat over your shoulder and make your way towards the arrivals. The airport is deserted at this time of night and you're grateful, for it gives your heart more time to prepare for the man you haven't seen in over eight months.

Eight months. Eight months is a long time. It's almost the time it takes for a baby to be born. You flush at the thought, wondering whether Juyeon sees you in his future just as permanently as you see him.

"Who are you waiting for?" Your head swivels to see an older woman, in her late fifties, with a handbag slung over her shoulder and a burgundy scarf wrapped around her neck.

"Oh, uh--" heat travela up the back of your neck, "someone close. And you?"

"My daughter. I haven't seen her in over two years," the woman smiles fondly, "it's hard, isn't it? Not being able to see your close ones every day."

"Yeah," you mumble, "it sure is."

Your gaze is now fixated on the sliding doors now that people have started walking out. One by one, you watch as strangers hug their families, laughing and smiling. A couple is embracing in a nearby corner. And the old woman brightening up and waving at the sight of her daughter pulling up her luggage.

Your chest can't help but swell with emotion. What a beautiful thing to be admire the magic of a reunion. Tears rush to your eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of love radiating through your veins and bathinf your limbs in warmth.

"Y/N."

You freeze. Slowly, you turn around and see Juyeon.

Your Juyeon.

He stands there, backpack on his shoulders and hair ruffled. A luggage at his side and sporting a grin.

Your heart explodes.

Heat rushes through your face, mouth opening in a soft 'oh'.

"Juyeon," his name rolls off your lips.

You're breathless. Everything falls out of focus.

Juyeon. Juyeon is here.

Everything happens so fast. You blink and you're in his arms, his warmth engulfinf you, his scent making you light-headed, his lips permanently pressed against your temple as your hands unconsciously scrabble to hold on to his hoodie like he's a dream you don't want to let go.

It's magical. It feels like a goddamn miracle.

You can't help but burst into tears.

"Oh god," Juyeon's chuckle echoes through your ear. He tightens his grip ever so slightly and kisses your forehead, the corner of your eye while stroking your back.

You cling to him like he's your only lifeline, "I missed you," you sob into his shirt, "I missed you so much."

"It's okay," he cooes into your ear, one hand coming up to smooth over your head, "I'm here now, Y/N."

"I--" emotions rush through you like a dam broken down by the tides and suddenly you're babbling everything you've kept hidden in the grooves of your heart, "I'm so sorry for everything, I-- I was hurt and scared and lonely. I didn't think about how this distance affected you too and I'm sorry I made you go through all this when you did nothing wrong, I--"

Your words get muffled by his lips pressing onto yours to stop any other protests and you melt into him like coming home with open arms. His arms pin your middle to his chest, parting your mouth with his and taking your breath away with every suckle, every nibble. It makes you gasp, clutching his shoulders and returning his kisses with just as much vigor.

"You," he breathes against your parted mouth, "are everything I want," pulling back to press his forehead to yours, he continues, "so don't you dare think for one second, that you're in this alone. You're never alone, Y/N."

"I love you," you murmur, nose brushing his. He kisses you once more, heat lingering between you and claiming your affection for him, "I love you too."

You know that this isn't the end. A path of tears and pain and struggle still await you. The mountain is high and steep, a tough climb that makes youe legs tremble.

But you know now, looking into Juyeon's eyes and seeing the magic in there, the dripping affection that makea your fingers tingle, that this is it. There's nobody else, nothing else you want than Lee Juyeon.

Because if there's one thing for sure is that Juyeon's hand is the one you want to take, to make that climb happen.

"Wanna get out of here and tell me everything I've missed out about you?" Juyeon whispers upon finally detangling himself, though still holding on to your shoulder as he gently pulls you towards the exit.

"Only if you tell me everything I've missed about you," you reply.

He chuckles, before pressing another lingering kiss over your cheek, "deal."

#juyeon #tbz juyeon #juyeon tbz #juyeon imagines #juyeon angst #juyeon fanfic #juyeon drabbles #lee juyeon #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #theboyz scenarios #fluff #the boyz au #theboyz imagines #the boyz #theboyz juyeon #juyeon x reader #juyeon x you #deobi drabbles #tbzwritersnet #sangyeon #hyunjae #tbz x you #tbz juyeon headcanons

[dreamties]

Slashers x S/O in a LDR

A/n- Oh, anon! Same hat! Same hat! I’ve considered making something like this a few times, I was so happy to finally make them!! :D

I’m currently working on stuff for Randy Meeks, Kurt Kunkle, and Lester Sinclair- but if there’s still a character you wanted but don’t see here? Feel free to let me know, and I’d be glad to whip something up for them, as well!

Characters: Billy/Stu and Norman Bates

T/W: mostly fluff with a side of abandonment and mommy issues. and some swearing? (is damn a swear word? I used it a lot)

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher

Word  Count: 992

Y’all met in high school- the three of you practically inseparable. But then college happens- and you would’ve loved to stay with Billy and Stu, but the sort of situation arises where you can’t possibly turn away the opportunity. It would be such a mistake, especially for the line of work you’d like to be in. 

And now you may be thinking, Stu’s family is rich rich, right? Couldn’t they just,, buy they’re way in, so you didn’t have to part? Well...I guess they could? These boys aren’t afraid to take what they want, no matter what that entails- but I feel like there might be a lost sense of pride buying their way in. 

...plus...they may or may have not tried...and the school definitely did not accept that shit.

So with that, the three of you end up at different colleges- well, Billy and Stu are at the same place but...you’re so far away 🥺🥺

You’re still in California- but you’re far enough away that they can’t do one to two day trips to see you. It still hurts so much to be apart from them though- especially since both of these boys are so, hmm how to put it...they’re very affectionate and needy (while that last bit may be more so Stu, Billy still fits the Bill on that one).

You only visit each other on holidays and during the summer- and you always stay much longer for the summer.

When Stu sees you again, the first thing he does is wrap you in the biggest, almost suffocating hug- Billy trailing close behind him, laughing at his antics. He basically holds on to you for the entire ride from the airport back to the house (depending on who’s visiting who- but you’ll often come back to Woodsboro, and stay with Stu). 

They think about you all the time when you’re gone. It’s kind of nuts. They’ve got so many other things going on in their lives- they’re still participating in Ghostface murders, they’ve got college and Real jobs ((Stu doesn’t even need a job, but he likes staying close with Billy and having something to do !! He doesn’t like staying by himself too much :(  )) and even with all that? You still end up worming your way into their brains. Collective brainrot over you lmao /j

You call each other everyday- or every other day if schedules are tight. The good thing is...is y’all are both in Cali !! There are no stupid time zones, y’all don’t gotta worry about that >:( 

They want to make sure they know everything that’s been going on with you- even if it’s some boring class, it’s totally worth it just to hear you talk.

There’s lot of them telling you all the things they want to do to/with you when they finally see you. It’s all about the heavy yearning folks. The ache that you feel when you realize you can’t do that right now. And not for a long time. 

You just want to stay with your boys, cuddled on the couch, watching B-rated slasher films. You want to look them in their pretty, perfect eyes, and let your fears and worries melt away, while you tell them how much you love and missed them. And to finally feel your boys’ hairs through your fingers again.

And the crashing, sudden realization, after they drop you off at the airport- and you have your drawn out, tearful goodbyes...the kind you see in movies- that you won’t see them again. Not like that, at least. And not for months. It was back to counting down the days again. Being thankful for every little moment you had with them- and every call, and every weird text message they sent. Allowing every soft, intimate moment away from each other to guide you back home.

Billy’s not great at dealing with his emotions...especially in positive ways. The relationship can definitely be super hard on him, even if he doesn’t really show it. It brings up a lot of his abandonment issues with his mom :( Having you go off to college is losing part of his support system, and it physically pains him to not see you in Woodsboro. You’re part of his little found family with him and Stu. And when you’re not there? Sometimes it feels like he’s lost you. that you’re not coming back from school, and you’re going to have left for good. Which is not true at all, and he knows that...but god damn is it hard to not listen to that dark, nagging voice sometimes. 

And for Stu? He doesn’t mind as much. He doesn’t share this same trauma involved with it that Billy seems to have. But it still hits him in all the wrong places. He’s more likely to show his true emotions than Billy. And that’s actually really good !! He’s able to properly communicate with you whats going, where he’s at with things. 

It can be kind of exhausting trying to translate Billy’s feelings to you- for all parties involved. Or Billy, who’s learned a certain way to communicate that works, and then having to find a new way that makes sense over text and phone calls. Since you can’t see all his body language, and the way he tenses up when he’s filled with Big Emotions. 

TLDR; dealing w/ emotions is tough, doing it via limited technology is harder :(

and y’all know it’s tough on each other- but like hell you’re not gonna make it work with each other. Y’all are meant to be, even if the relationship is in a bit of an odd spot right now. 

You always have to remind the boys that this is only temporary. just until your 4+ years of schooling is over, and then you can move back to Woodsboro. Then you’ll have all the time in the world to plan your lives together.

Norman Bates 

Word Count: 784 

You meet Norman at his motel. You’re just passing through, on your way to a gathering with some of your family. He’s a little odd, but such a gentleman, that you make a note to stay at his motel on the way back home, as well.

Norman’s completely enamored by you, and you say “I’ll see you soon” that first time, he can nearly feel his heart skip a beat. He’s a smiling, happy little mess about it. You wanted to come back here, for him? He can’t wait for it.

Part of him was worried you wouldn’t come back, and that part of him was very scared- but you were so genuine, he could tell you’d be back. For real.

He still finds himself surprised, when a few days later you’re back there. When you leave, you give him your home phone number and address. Letting him know if he was ever going through your town, and he needed a place to stay that...well...he was always welcome at yours.

Y’all aren’t even dating at this point, but you definitely felt this spark- this connection- when you met. It was unlike anything the two of you had ever felt before. So...your relationship starts off slow. It builds overtime. 

It had been a few weeks since you met- with Norman’s work at the motel and whatever work you do, it was hard to find time between it all- but you’re finally able to start weekly phone calls with each other. Catching up with each other, asking him about the motel, and his hobbies...he’s so thrilled when you talk to him about the taxidermy! Not many folks are very er...into it. So it’s a nice surprise for him that the person he likes...cares about what he likes.

Further into y’all’s relationship, the weekly calls will turn into twice a week and sometimes and slowly, slowly melt into sending letters with each other as much as you can. Every few weeks or so, you’d get the sweet pleasure of seeing Norman’s simple letter in your mailbox. Smiling as you spot your name in his nice, neat handwriting.

Often you’ll include clippings from articles or magazines that reminded you of him, and little photos of yourself, your family (and pets if you have any) and critters, and bugs and shots of nature. He loves the ones you send of birds and trees the most- but he keeps every single one you send him. He has a whole drawer full of your letters.

A while into exchanging letters, the two of you begin signing off every one with an “I love you”. It’s not until you see each other in person again that you fully realize your feelings. I mean, they were always there- but it took the pair of you an impossibly long to speak it out loud- to make it official. 

It had been just under a year since you met- and you’re finally back at the Bates motel. There’s no special reason, you’re not seeing family, per se. But you’re starting something you should have started ages ago. Every part of your being is teeming with nervous excitement- what if you had read the letters all wrong? Every I love you, meant as friends?

You're quick to let him know of your arrival- he’s surprised, he didn’t expect you and you wrap each other in a large hug. You don’t let go for sometime, and when you finally do, you still clutch on to his smooth, slender hands. You lean into him, “I’ve missed you.” He looks at you with soft, shiny eyes, lost in your own. You press a subtle kiss to his lips, and pull away soon after. You feel your face get hot, and you can only imagine that Norman’s face would be bright pink.

He doesn’t say anything at first, simply squeezing your hands. “I did, too,” he smiles. It’s so delicate, and you can’t help but hold his face in your hands- studying every little detail. Of course, he sent you photos of himself from time to time- but it wasn’t the same.

The week that you spend with him is magical. When you leave you already find yourself missing the time you had with him- but you suppose that feeling and the wait to see Norman- was worth it. Plus, you still had the phone calls and all the letters with I Love You in them. Besides, with time, you’d be back at his motel- or he’d finally take you up on your offer, and you could finally spend a sunny morning, lazing around cuddled with each other in your bed, in your town.

#slasher #slashers #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #poly ghostface x reader #poly!ghostface x reader #ghostface x reader #billy loomis x reader x stu macher #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #billy x reader x stu #slasher community #norman bates x reader #norman bates x s/i #norman bates x s/o #billy loomis x s/o #stu macher x s/o #slasher hcs #slasher headcanons #slasher drabble #slasher oneshot #reblogs are appreciated !! #requests are open :)

[dewykth]

—lilies (m)

“… white lines, pretty baby, tattoos, don’t know what they mean, they’re special just for you…”

muses. bad boy! & tattooed!jungkook x female reader words. 1.3k+ contains. smut notices. explicit sex scene, mentions of drug use, jungkook’s just rly in love (he’s also a drug dealer oops) 

↳ listen to: florida kilos by ldr

"Is that new?"

The hand trailing down your thigh freezes. His eyes move to your face, where you’re staring at his chest, a curious expression adorning your flushed features. Jungkook loved seeing you like this. He thinks you look beautiful all the time, but especially like this, underneath him, rosy cheeks and wide eyes. You were such a sight. Jungkook could stare at you like this forever.

You hum, and his musings are cut short.

He looks down, completely forgetting the new piece he had inked on his body a couple nights ago. It was the reason he came over tonight, something he’d been thinking about doing for a while, but when you set your lips on his as soon as he walked through your apartment door, all thoughts of surprising you with the new tattoo faded away (as did everything when he was with you).

“Oh, uhm,” he clears his throat, “yeah… I, uh,” he struggles to find his words, especially when you’re staring at his chest like that.

He would never admit it, but he was scared you’d think it was stupid, or worse, too much. The extent of his feelings for you even terrified him.

Your lips quirk up into a small smile, and the small sliver of teeth showing glimmers under the soft glow of the moon. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat.

“That’s my favorite type of flower, you know,”

He knows, of course he knows, but his words stay lodged in his throat. Instead he watches you lift your arm, tentatively tracing your fingers over the blooming lilies inked onto his chest, right above his heart. Your smile only grows when you feel the goosebumps rising on his skin.

“When did you get it?” your hand stays on his chest, but your eyes trail up to meet his own and the hand holding Jungkook above you almost slips at the sight of the pure adoration swimming in your eyes.

“I just did it a few days ago. That’s actually what I wanted to show you before we got… distracted,” his hand continues it’s path up your thigh, stopping right at your heat.

“That’s also my favorite color,” You let out a small sigh as his fingers ghost over your clit.

“I know.” he mumbles.

He doesn’t have to say it. You know who he tattooed those lilies for, who he took the time to design it for and even fill it with the inklings of their favorite color (probably Yoongi’s doing, Jungkook hated using colored ink). It’s stupid, you want to say, but in all honesty, the thought of him being etched with traces of you permanently made your tummy fill with butterflies. Almost as if he was whispering a promise.

Your panties soak, and Jungkook’s eyes flash.

“Do you like it, baby?”

"Yes." you respond, no hint of hesitation in your voice.

You bite your lip when his fingers move your lace panties aside and begin to rub your clit. How he could go from being so shy and sweet one second to being a tease the next, you still wondered.

Jungkook wasn’t like this. Normally when he would hook up with other women, he focused on his own pleasure. Of course, there was no doubt about how good he could make a woman feel during sex, but he always a taker.

It was different with you, though.

Maybe it was because he felt something more for you than he had ever felt for anyone else. With you, he felt something only those white lines on his coffee table had been able to construct. Euphoria. The only word he chose to use to describe those overwhelming senses. But no, he knew that wasn’t it. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly what words to pin those feelings under.

Those three words were always on the tip of his tongue when he was with you, but it was the small moments that almost had the words tumbling out of his mouth. When you would reach for his hand while walking, when you would make his favorite meal the mornings after the nights full of passion and ecstasy, when you let him mark you with hues of pink and purple. His head was always filled with you, you, you, even when you were in front of him.

He wanted to say it now, when you were moaning and begging so beautifully for him.

But, as always, the fear of the weight of those words seeped through him, keeping him quiet. So, he pushed those thoughts out of his head as he focused on giving you pleasure.

Give, give, give. That was all he wanted to do.

“Nngh… Jungkook… please!”

His lips form a smirk as he moves his fingers down to your entrance, slowly pushing one finger in. You throw your head back onto the arm rest of the couch, gasping in pleasure. Jungkook attaches his mouth to your nipple, swirling his tongue and sucking in the way that made your back arch prettily.

“More, please baby,” you moan out, “I need more!”

How could he ever deny you?

“So needy,” he whispers, but he complies, pushing another finger inside of you as he begins to fuck into your throbbing pussy.

Your hand finds its way to his hair tugging harshly when he curls his fingers. He moans around your nipples, the pain only making him want to give you more, more, more.

He slips a third finger inside you, and you cry his name out. Jungkook pulls back from your tits, gazing at you as his tattooed fingers fuck into you. Your eyes are shut, face contorted in pure bliss as sounds of elation continue to spill out of your red, bitten lips.

“So fucking beautiful,” he muses, lost in his thoughts again.

He can feel your legs start to shake, so he quickly crawls down, planting his mouth directly onto your clit and sucking.

“Fuck! Jungkook… I- I’m cl-… I’m c-close!”

He hums in acknowledgement, picking up his pace. His fingers fuck you roughly and swiftly as his mouth continues to suck on your clitoris, lapping up as much of your juice as he can. God, he adored this. He adored you, every piece of you.

Your legs tense, body seizes and—

“Fuck! I’m coming! Jungkook!”

His eyes move to your face, absorbing the fucked-out expression on your face as you ride your high. He continues to swallow your juices, only stopping when you tap his hand, the stimulation becoming too much.

“You look so pretty when you cum for me.”

The compliment makes a rose-colored tint appear along your cheeks. You move to cover your bashful smile with your hand, quickly becoming shy. How were so goddamn cute and sexy?

Something hard pokes at your thigh, and when you look down, it’s hard not to notice Jungkook’s boner. You move your hand to palm him through his jeans, but Jungkook grabs your hand, shaking his head with a smile as he lays beside you.

“Are you sure? I could suck you off.” you offer, completely ready to let him fuck your mouth

He only smiles, “As tempting as that is, I just wanted to please you tonight.”

Your heart stutters, and feelings of fondness bubble up in your chest. You cuddle into his side, trying your hardest to not fall off the small couch holding the two of you. His arm wraps around you and you sigh contentedly, letting his warmth radiate into you.

The thumping of his heart lulls you to sleep, and soon your soft snores fill the quiet living room.

It’s only when he’s sure that you’re deep in another world that he whispers the words that he’s so afraid of. He lets them hang in the midnight air, until fatigue succumbs his body and his dreams take him too.

© dewykth. all rights reserved. no reposting, translation, or modification of any kind is allowed.

#btsghostie #writing #bts scenarios #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fiction #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #bts imagines #jungkook drabble

[animatedarchives]

EIGHTY FOUR DAYS

— 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐔

author’s note: i was inspired to write about a ldr while listening to if the sheets were states by all time low. it also reminded me of hsm3 when troy and gabriella go to different universities :”) i hope y’all enjoy it!! hehe <3

genre: ANGST ANGST ANGST, a lil soft fluff at the end 

warnings: none…? just ldr i guess,,, and sad emo hours

word count: 764 words

Four months. 

Seventeen weeks. 

One hundred and nine days. 

That was how long you had managed to survive without your beloved boyfriend so far. After graduating from Seijoh, both you and Oikawa had chosen different universities to pursue what made you happy: for you it was art and for him it was volleyball. The problem? You were miles away from each other. You guys knew maintaining long distance relationships were difficult, but neither of you anticipated how truly agonising it would be.

“I miss you so much, baby...” he whispered. If you hadn’t been so tired that night, you would have caught the subtle crack in his voice as he spoke over the phone.

“I miss you too… I miss you so bad it hurts,” you replied. Your fingers tightened around the jacket he left behind for you, clutching it to your chest because that’s where it hurt the most. The faint smell of his scent still lingered, but was quickly becoming tainted by yours as you slept with it every night. As much as you wanted to preserve it, you couldn’t help but hug it to sleep because it was the closest you could get to holding him. 

“I know, baby…” he sighed. “But I have to get some rest before training tomorrow morning.” 

This was always the worst part of your daily late-night calls: saying goodbye. The last time you said it in person was at the airport when you were sending him off. The pain you felt after being separated was so intense, it almost felt physical. Saying goodnight after every call deepened the wound in your heart because it meant letting go of his presence that was already barely there. It was tormenting. It was like constantly being offered a glimpse of paradise only to have it snatched away much too soon, leaving you lonelier than you were before. Honestly, you could hardly comprehend how you were keeping it together so well.

“Y/N…”. The sound of him calling your name brought you back from your daze.

“Hmm?” you hummed in reply.

“I love you, okay? Please don’t ever forget that. I may be miles away, but my heart will always be where you are.” 

Hearing the heartache in his voice quickly caused your vision to become blurry. Closing your eyes, you smiled weakly as a stray tear slipped down your cheek. “I love you too, Tooru. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, princess.”

Your hand trembled as you brought the phone away from your ear and let out a shaky breath. Your eyes stung from looking directly at the bright light emanating from the screen in the otherwise dark room. 

“Eighty four more days. Eighty four more days,” you reminded yourself. You stared longingly at the picture set as your lock screen, expression softening as you replayed the fond memory.

You guys had taken the photo two years ago at Disneyland; both of you wore Mickey Mouse ears and Oikawa had his arms wrapped around your waist, leaning over your shoulder to press a kiss to your temple. The photo was taken just after he had officially asked you to be his girlfriend and there was no way he would not document this precious moment in time - finally being able to claim the prize he coveted the most as his own.

Tearing your eyes away from the screen, you glanced at the space beside you, seemingly more empty without his body to fill it. The mattress, like you, missed his warmth. Your hand made its way to his side of the bed in a desperate attempt to reach for something that wasn’t there. Underneath your tender fingers was the only thing in the room that permanently held his presence - his shape pressed into the memory foam. 

Even the universe seemed to reflect the emptiness inside your heart. The night sky was barren, aside from a few specks of white dotting the midnight blue canvas. Even then, the stars resembled tiny embers that were struggling to maintain their light. They were nothing compared to the beautiful bright constellations you and Oikawa would spend hours admiring together. 

However, despite this vast emptiness, the moon remained hopeful, illuminating the bleak sky and giving light to the stars. As you gazed out your window at the glowing sphere, you too seemed to catch a glimmer of its promise. 

A promise that although apart, you and Tooru still share the same sky every night.

A promise that one day, you will share not only the sky but a sweet kiss as your hearts beat together as one again.

In just eighty four more days.

© written and published by animatedarchives 2020. please do not steal or repost. thank you.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! oneshot #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #x reader #oikawa #oikawa scenarios #oikawa fic #oikawa imagine #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa x y/n #oikawa toru imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #tooru oikawa #x reader imagines #x reader imagine #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu #haikyuu smau #hq #hq imagines #hq x reader #hq anime