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miamoo27 · 4 months

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Chapter 2 Surrounded by boys

As I got older my mom met more people from our town. Tina being one of them who is still her best friend today. Our neighbors in our first house had a son Sams age named Cade. The two would play together while cades mom and my mom drank wine and smoked cigerattes. Sam and Cade rarely let me play with them because i would "destroy things" I always got yelled at for picking the flowers in Cades yard. HIs father was a florist and had the most beautiful flower in there yard. I would pretend there were fairies inside them but then i would pick them and eat the petals.

Eventually more boys entered the mix of "friends" I shared with my brother. Only being two years apart made it diffcult not to share friends. But all his friends were boys and I was too much of a loner to make any friends or the girls would call me mud girl. I did not know how to play like a "girl" this was pre woke times. When I did make friends they usually got weirded out because i would chop the heads off all the barbies and rip there hair out, sometimes even trying to put them on fire. I would give all the heads of the barbies to my brother letting him shoot them with his airsoft gun.

Tina and her late husband Anthony had two kids one being my age (Nick) and Anythony my brothers. Nick was somewhat of a cry baby. I would wrestle him make him race me and trip always resulting in him crying hysterically. Tina loves Nic more than anything and would rush to him. My mom was usually in her own world, a couple years after I was born is when my mom and dad started fighting. My mom would drink wine and complain about my dad or her mother. I didnt cry because I knew no one would hear them. Unlike Tina who would rush to Nick if he even whimpered.

My moms drinking and my dads inattentiviness resulted in me being a tough ass once I got to 1st grade. I didnt let anything bother me, I didnt like playing with that many other kids but then I met Yasmine.

Yasmine and I hated eachother at first of course just like any best friends would. I would squirt my juice box at her head but at the end of the day we were imediately attached. We played every day together even when everyone made a rumor that I spoke to squirrels outside and ate flowers (not rumors both were true). Everyone knew me as the weird girl who also should ot be fucked with who is in sped.

Id stick my tongue out at Nick which made him cry and my kindergarten teacher screamed at me. She lectured me about my behavior and how I was disruptive to the class. That conversation haunted me. I stayed quiet and shy not speaking to Nick or any of them. I played by myself writing stories in my head about far away places. I wanted to be on the ocean. a fairy or even the squirrels in the trees. I didnt want to be here on the playground bored.

My mom noticed one day while walking our dog Jojo that I was sitting alone during recess. She told my teacher and she informed my mom that its because I was "bullying" three other girls Arielle, Ava and Katherine. My momw was shocked because I was sweet at home. The teacher told my mom I wrote them apology cards and my mom got furious calling my father right away.

One thing I can say about my dad is he knows how to put up a fight. When he cares he REALLY cares. My dad knew I was being targetted because I was already labeled as the "sped weirdo" that he spoke to my teacher.

I told you my dads a fighter he got her demoted to being a computer teacher. Later on I meet MIchelle, a greasy blond girl who also loves fairies. We play and let Yasmine join, we become a group, these are my frist true friends.

Sped. Special ed, You can not say sped anymore. But for reference of the times which this takes place in 2006 we would call it sped. I was in sped. In kindergarten the teachers noticed how fidgety, talkative, expressive and inattentive I was that they said I had ADD. They took me out of my classroom with the only friend I made and I was put in a small room with a smelly teacher and two boys. Boys. I thought maybe they would get along with me since I relate to them more.

Andrew and Turlough become my new friends too since we are forced against are will to be together. Putting three kids who cant even sit for more than a minute in the same room is a terrible idea. We never got anything done and I had a strong hatred for my teacher. I was always polite but in my head id be cursing her out. I would tell my Aunt CC all of this when she picked me up.

"Can I live with you please" I asked my aunt a million times when she would pick me up.

"Maybe" she would smile deep down she would love for me to live with her.

She never asked why but we both knew. My parents fight got louder once I got into 4th grade. There fights were sometimes about me and that would make me feel bad. My dad was upset I wasnt able to do my homework or be caught up with anything. My mom thought I was fine and to leave me be. My mom and dad did not understand me the way CC did. CC let me be myself and in my own world she did not force me to go on playdates or sit with Nick while my mom and Tina drank. She let me play with her dogs in the dirt and mud. We would have ice tea and grilled cheese. Her house was my fantasy. I wanted to be her when I was older.

My brother was my mom favorite. My mom loved Sam I could not blame her. Sam as easy going, he was not a diffcult child. The worst thing he ever did as a kid was write relentless all over our playroom wall in sharpie. He had some anger but for the most part he was easy.

My on the other hand was a walking disaster. I didnt brush my hair, I hated eating, I hated watching TV I couldnt sit with my family for too long, I was horrible in school and I cursed and said innaproiate thing all day long to everyone besides my aunt and teachers. I grew up hearing my mom trash talk everyone of course I was going to have a mouth.

Yasmine and I reunited when we were in the same 4th grade class with Mrs. Hoy. Mrs. Hoy understood all of us she was the best teacher I ever had. Being in the same class as all my best friends was amazing. Yasmine, Andrew, Turlough, Nick and Matt who would become our new friend.

Yasmine and I did everything together and she had it hard as well. Yasmine parents would fight all the time too. Her mom also would get angry at times and take it out on her. Yasmine had the responsibility of her two younger siblings which she resented. Everytime we would go downtown they would come and we couldnt talk about our crushes or One Direction.

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90sstuffidk · 2 years

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Courtney Love chooses her women of the year, December 1993

Rare Courtney Love interview December, 13 1993

I transcribed this myself from looking at a low quality pic of a magazine page so pls appreciate it lol

Rita Bobbit, folk heroine

“Shes sort of too much of a folk heroine already, but I wanted to include her because shes so damn funny. Shes the one who cut her husbands dick off in his sleep.

“He was very abusive and mean to her, and she put up with it for years and years, and then he started beating her and cheating on bher. It wasnt so much the cheating that got to her, it was the fact that shed left her family and everything behind in El Salvador or somewhere to go and live with him in Virginia. So she got this knife while he was sleeping and chopped off his penis. Then she grabbed it, got into her little Honda with his penis, drove about a block, and threw it onto this grassy ?.

“Then she pulled over and called the cops, and said, “Ive just cut off my husbands penis, and its on this grassy ?”

“Her husband, meanwhile calls an ambulance

She didnt cut off his testicals though - just his penis. I dont know how she did it with a clean sweep because youd have to really hack, wouldnt you? She mustve been sharpening that fucking thing for days.

“I just think its funny. Im not advocating it, but I bet everyones felt like it. This story really sends shivers up mens spines.”

Susan Faludi

“She wrote the award winning “Backlash” - the most well-researched, well written piece of non-fiction Ive ever read in my life. “Its totally mind blowing, totally factual, shocking, insane, evil, and not one lie, all of it true, all of it fact checked. Shes the pinnacle of good journalism, good journalism thats not boring. Its insane and a necessity, not just for women, its a necessity for anyone who wants to learn how the media really works. It shows you how to behave in a way thats acceptable. “I have a lot of friends that had a hard time getting through “backlash” because they get angry. I have one friend in particular who refused to read it past chapter four because it was making her too angry, and she was afraid she was going to turn into “a big feminist” - her own words! No matter what your politics are, whether you agree with me or not, its necessary reading. Editors of “Select” should definitely read this book, and anybody whos a sleezy journalist or who ever aspired to what good journalism is, should read this book. “Meeting her was like meeting Elis Presley, I was for sure more impressed by meeting her than talking to Madonna on the phone about stuff that Madonna knows nothing about.”

Lydia Lunch

“Her work is incredibly neglected.

“when shes articulating about her life, shes incredibly profound and intense - shes such an inspiration because she absolutely changed her life. I would call her the worlds greatest pop song writer. In terms of ?, she takes the cake - that box set she released earlier this year is a total experience. You just loose yourself to this womans incredible wit and intelligence.

“I like her for the fact shes willing to go out into the street and cut off dicks and shoot with guns. For the fact that shes willing to be a voyeur rather than just sitting around, upper middle class, whining about the press. ”Shes populist enough both to use the media and be true to herself”

Janet Billig, Evan Dando - among others

“She was referred to in a british magazine as my human sponge and a wet nurse - which was kind of ironic because, at the time, she was doing all of Nirvanas publicity.

“Shes 23 years old, and shes probably one of the most powerful women in the music industry today at that age. She put Caroline Records on the map, she signed Pussy Galore to them, she was responsible for signing Smashing Pumpkins. Shes got incredibly good taste, she can just hear things - she (rest gets cut off unfortunately)

Tamra Davis

“She directed a hit movie called “CB4″, which is the ? answer to “Waynes World”, she also directed Drew Barrymore in “Gun Crazy” which was very good.

“Recently, theres been this spate of bad girl Hollywood scripts which I got to read the parts in. Theres a Sharon Stone cowgirl movie and a Julie Davis cowgirl movie - and there was going to be this Tarantino movie, “Bad Girls”, with Madeleine Stowe, Drew Barrymore, Andie McDowell. It was an epic movie, all the actresses got 1.5 million Tamara though, was given only 6 million dollars to make the movie with.

“One of the actresses, who I wont name, was very threatened by the idea that a woman was going to direct this movie, even though there couldnt be anyone sweeter than Tamra. They waited seven days and, on the seventh day, because of this actress, they fired her.

“Not only did they hire him for no reason, they gave him 20 million extra dollars. So he got to direct the movie the way it should be directed, because of the female actress who said “I cant be directed by another woman”

“I think its incredible the way Tamra stood up to that, and, furthermore, she doesnt have a bad word to say about anyone - even the actress who had her thrown off the movie.

Drew Barrymore

“She did these incredibly sexy Guess ads. Shes like a fat little girl, but shes sexy and just gorgeous, really sweet, obviously very talented. Im praising heer visual assets, but I just think that its cool that someone can be that sexy in an era of waifs.

“Shes sexy in an individual kind of way without being a bad role modelfor people. I think that if you want to sexualize yourself and youre of age, shes kind of scummy and sexy at the same time, shes not like a fucking candy box and shes not like a mid-western girl and shes not like Kate Moss.

“Shes every girl and shes very attainable. Shes got the same kind of everywoman assets about her like early Madonna had. Any girl can look like Drew Barrymore.”

Chrissie Hynde

“Because she was responsable for one of the most perfect rock records ever written by a woman, and is still writing music and executing it and writing the lyrics.

“She uses her sexuality in a weird way, and always has done. Like the time she posed on the front of NME in black leather with some glam rocker - back when she used to write for them in the Seventies.

“She wrote a great record and I dont give a shit about anything else”

Ellen vonUNWORTH

“Shes the worlds best photographer right now. Her rates are insanely high for a video shoot. And she does these Guess ads

“She wont work for just anyone - she doesnt like rock because it doesnt give her as much freedom as fashion. Shes not looking for grit, shes looking for beauty. Sometimes shell use supermodels, but often she uses really normal girls, normal women. Shes a little plastic but thats part of her job.

“She uses color incredibly. Shes a better black and white photographer than ?, which is saying a lot. I havent seen black and white photography like that since the early Echo and The Bunnymen NME days. Those beautiful U2 covers and Ian McCulloch covers.

Hillary Clinton

“For obvious reasons, I relate to her and Id relate to her no matter what.

“I was never more relieved in my life than when that woman moved into the white house. I just felt like things are gonna be okay now. But, although Hillary and Bill are living in the White House, the right wing re still getting on school boards and banning things like taking deep breathes before tests, because “its new age religion”. They reckon Halloween decorations are satanic, self esteem for girls is feminism, and feminisms been turned into a dirty word - rather than a state of being. Like Humanitarianism or whatever.

“I really want her and Bill to stay there because her health care system is the only thing thats going to keep this country from collapse. Shes spent 67 months on it, and I dont know why America thinks its crazy. Id be willing to, even if I was poor, pay an extra dollar.

“Its pathetic that she has to pretend that she, bakes cookies, its pathetic the way that the American public demands she submerges her intellect. She used to be one of the best yop 10 lawyers in the country.

“Her scapegoating is just a really easy media tactic, because shes an easy target.”

#courtney love #courtneylove #90s #interview #1990s #hole #grunge

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years

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I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 7)

Bakugo X Reader

Words: 3374

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

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You had gone over the plan over and over again with Bakugo. You had to make sure it went perfectly otherwise... well let’s just say you had no plans of being anyones prisoner ever again. If you had to go into what Bakugo affectionally refers to as your “Dark mode” to get it done then you would.

You two along with several other heros were going to infiltrate the meeting the Pure was holding. Surely Bruce had warned them by now that you were coming, but it’s a good thing you can make people see what you want them to. You and Bakugo were going to go in alone at first and try and track down The Puppeteer. Once you had him you’d call for backup to shut down the rest of the party. You had no idea what his quirk was but based on his name you assumed he could control things, possibly people. You shuddered at the thought of another person controlling your actions.

You were pacing now as you waited for Bakugo to return to your hotel room. He had met up with some other heros in the lobby to catch them up to speed. Your heart jumped when you heard the door opening. You knew it was Bakugo, but you couldn't help but grip your hairbrush tighter. Not that you thought you’d be able to do much with a hairbrush. Maybe you could make an intruder think it was a gun... or throw it at someone.

Sure enough Bakugo walked in, and he was holding two garment bags. “Kirishima pulled through and got us some outfits for tonight. Hopefully it’ll make it easier to blend in.” You could see how tense he was. He was always at some varying degree or grumpy but this was different.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and nuzzled your face into his chest. “Whatever happens today... Promise me you won't do anything stupid.”

He chuckled as he ran his fingers through your hair, “You mean other than crashing a powerful criminal cult party. I’ll do my best. But I can’t promise anything.”

You sighed, “I figured as much. I thought I’d at least try.”

He pulled you back to look you in the eye, “You know its not too late. We can always leave. I heard Mexico is great this time of year..”

“I think we both we could never do that. You’re a hero. Your job is here.” You took a seat on the bed, “Besides they’d find us no matter where we went. We’d have to constantly be on the run.. and that's not a life for anyone.”

He took a seat next to you, “Any life with you is a life worth living.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Who are you and what have you done with Bakugo?”

He rolled his eyes, “Oh I’m sorry I thought after professing my love to you I was aloud a soft moment every once in a while. Forgive me it’ll never happen again!”

You laughed, “I didn't say I didn’t like it! It just took me a bit off guard is all.”

He tossed your garment bag to you. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get dressed would ya? We have an operation to run.”

You giggled as you unzipped the bag but gasped when you saw the most gorgeous red dress you have ever seen. “Oh my god! This is beautiful!” You held the dress up next to Bakugo and squinted.

“Oi what are you doing?”

You smiled, “Just trying to see if it matched your eyes... which is does. Even better.”

You both quickly changed. You needed a few more minutes to figure out what you were going to do with you hair, and makeup was a whole other nightmare. You had to ask Bakugo’s friend Mina to help you. You tried to follow a youtube tutorial but it was so hard!

Finally about two hours later you were as ready as you’d ever be. You slipped out of the bathroom and into the hotel room. Bakugo was deep in conversation with Kirishima and a few other people you didnt know. One of them had green hair and the other had red and white hair. They must be his former classmates. He had something about keeping this as quiet as possible to help prevent it from getting leaked. He only wanted people that he trusted one hundred and ten percent. We still didnt know who could possibly be a secret member of this group and he had no intentions of finding out the hard way.

He took one look at you and stopped talking mid sentence. He left his conversation completely and approached you with an outstretched hand. “You look.... amazing.”

You blushed, “It’s a long way from your hoodies.”

He leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Honestly I prefer the hoodies, but this is definitely a close second.” His hand very softly found purchase on your elbow and rubbed a soothing circle there with his thumb. “You ready?”

You drew in a huge breath and nodded, knowing your voice would give you away. You were terrified. You had run away from these people for a reason. Now here you are. Running right back in of your own free will.

Kirishima helped equip you with some final touches. He gave you some earrings that also had tracking devices in them... just in case. You didn't have the heart to tell them that if you were to be taken it wouldn't matter. Kidnapping was their specialty. They know how to be careful about it. You would be stripped of all possessions. But if it made Bakugo feel safer thinking you could be tracked then you wouldn't tell him.

Bakugo himself had a pen in his pocket that acted as a discreet transmitter. All he had to do was click it and it notify the others that it was time for them to crash the party.

You started to tremble as your car approached the castle like fortress hidden away in the woods. This place wasn't on any map and was in no databases. To the rest of the world this place didn’t exist. Neither did the organization who owned it. The thought gave you chills. Bakugo’s hand rested in your lap. “One night here and it’s all over. We go in, get our target and get out. We can do this.”

You didnt know who he was trying to convince, you or himself. Your hand gripped his and gave it a quick squeeze before he opened the car door and stepped out. He walked around to your side and opened your door for you, offering you his hand as you stepped out. You had gotten out early and far enough away from the villain base that you wouldn't be seen yet. Now you just needed to wait.

Sure enough it didnt take long for another car to pull up that had exactly what you needed. Two people, a guy and a girl and more importantly invitations. Bakugo made quick work of tying them up and leaving them for the others to come pick up and question. They were some rich CEO and his mistress. You wondered how his wife would feel when she got the call that her husband was in a cult with another women. You also wondered which news she’d take worse.

You both finished the short walk to the mansion. Your quirk was tricky. It only worked on a few people at a time and you had to be able so see them. So any cameras would be able to pick you up. That’s why you had to wait and try and walk in with a large group. Thank god this group was paranoid about their identities because that meant you got to wear partial masks. You still used your quirk to make you and Bakugo look like the couple you had stolen the invitations from as a precaution. You didnt know if anyone here would recognize you, or the fact that you weren't who you said you were. You both kept your heads down and stuck close together as you approached the front door. Bakugo’s arm was around your waist protectively. He honestly wouldn't have even let you come tonight but he knew he needed you.

He handed the guard your invitation not even bothering to make eye contact. You hoped he just looked like an entitled asshole instead of like someone who was trying to sneak in to a party. The guard scanned a code at the bottom and you could practically feel your heart try to beat right through your rib cage. Finally the device blinked green and he was showing you inside.

You didn’t hesitate as you moved inside pulling Bakugo behind you. There were plenty of people around the entrance. All mingling with glasses of varying alcohol.

You were taking in your surroundings when suddenly strong hands gripped your shoulders. You panicked and tried to pull away but they just pulled you back. Bakugo noticed but before he could react strong hands were grabbing him as well. Had they really found you out already?

“Excuse me, sorry if I scared you but we are under strict orders to frisk everyone in search of any weapons or recording decides. Both are prohibited and will result in your expulsion from this event. Now with your permission, may I?”

You gulped and nodded your head as his hands began to travel down your body. You looked over and saw a man doing the same to Bakugo. His eyes remained on you the entire time. Attempting to keep you calm as a stranger practically felt you up right in front of him.

“All clear. Thank you ma’am, enjoy your evening.”

Bakugo’s hand was on your waist in an instant almost as if to claim his territory. “Alright we’re in. Now let’s find Puppeteer and get this fucking over with.”

The meeting was scheduled to start in approximately ten minutes. Right now neither of you even knew what he looked like but you were hoping that he would show his face for the meeting. He is the leader after all.

You settled in the back corner of the large room and tried to look like you belonged there. There were definitely more members to this secret society than you would have thought.

Bakugo gripped your hand, “Stay on high alert and let me know if you see anyone you recognize. I doubt they’d have any of their thugs at a high class event like this. But we still need to be careful.”

You nodded just as you heard a microphone turn on. You looked over to the front of the room to see a tall man in a very expensive looking suit. “Excuse me everyone if I could have your attention. Before we start our monthly meeting I would like to thank you all for joining me. Tonight’s selection is top of the line. Believe me. We’ve worked very hard to bring you fine people the best of the best. My assistant will be passing out pamphlets to everyone before we begin the bidding. As usual after the auction we will be joined by our great leader for a few orders of business and then we will party until the break of dawn.”

A younger boy walked around passing out pamphlets. He handed one to Bakugo but not to you which you found odd.

Bakugo opened it up to reveal the most horrifying thing you had ever seen. They were auctioning off girls... There were pictures of girls along with their measurements, their test scores, and a lot about their quirk. These people were here to buy girls for... lack of a better word... breeding. It made your stomach turn and you wanted to throw up. Had your quirk not been so valuable you could have ended up like one of these girls. Is this what Bruce had meant when he said he thought you were just another one of the bosses pets?

Your hands started to shake so Bakugo simply stood behind you and pulled him. “It’s okay. Just breath. You can't afford to panic. You need to maintain focus. The only way to help these girls is if we take down Puppeteer.”

“I want him to pay for what he’s done.”

He could hear the desperation in your voice and it tore at his heart, “And he will believe me. He will rot in a fucking cell. We just need to be patient and make our next move exactly right.”

So you sat there as girl after girl was paraded on stage and sold to the highest bidder. You wanted to cry. To scream at these monsters for partaking in such an evil thing. These were people, not things. With every slam of the gavel marking another one sold, your grip tightened around Bakugo. He wiped a stray tear from your cheek before anyone could see that beneath your mask you were a weeping mess.

“Y/n. I’m not trying to sound mean or insensitive but you need to fucking pull it together. We are surrounded by the enemy and we can not risk blowing our cover. If they see you crying they will most definitely know you don't belong here. I’m sorry you have to see this, I really am but you need to be strong.”

You sniffled and used a compact mirror to fix your makeup. When you had finally composed yourself you snapped it shut, “Sorry. I’ll try and keep it together from now on. I promise.”

You went to turn back towards the stage but someone was blocking your view. “Archaic isn't it? The auction? I wish it could be done differently but not everyone see’s the world like we do. If it makes you feel any better some of them were volunteers.”

You looked up and locked eyes with a taller, leaner, version of Riku. Fuck... This had to be one of his brothers... was he Puppeteer?

“Hell some of them were cunning enough to make their buyers fall in love and are here tonight as guests. How quickly one can climb the social ladder...” He looked at you with an evil smirk, “And how quickly one can fall.”

Your nostrils flared as your face struggled to hide the disgust you were feeling. It didnt matter though because he continued on his way to the front without waiting for you to answer.

There was loud and excited applause as he approached the microphone. It’s like he was a celebrity to these people. He waved a few times, giving them all his best evil smile, “Hello everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying the festivities! Usually at this point we would discuss orders of business before the party starts and we all get to try out our new toys...” You could practically taste blood as you but your lip to keep your composure. You knew he was watching you. “But, as it turns out we dont have much business to discuss. There is only one thing... I’ve learned that there is someone here tonight who has taken something that belongs to me... Rather than create a fuss I would like to respectfully ask that this person return what is mine and leave. I will be waiting in my office, with no guards and no witnesses. Return my property and all will be forgiven. If you do not... well I know who and where your little friends are right now. So I wouldn't recommend taking your time...”

With that he shoved the microphone into the hands of the younger boy who had been passing out pamphlets earlier and stormed off.

Once he was out of sight your turned to Bakugo but he was already shaking his head, “Nope. Hell no. Not a chance. I’ll go meet him but you will most definitely not be there. I’m not putting you at risk.”

“Bakugo I’m already at risk just being here. So what? You go in alone and leave me out here by myself? I dont think so. Besides if you walk in there without me he’ll kill you, and then all of your friends. At least if I go with you it can buy us time. Go ahead and send the signal before we walk in and that way we can keep him distracted until backup shows up.”

He groaned and leaned his head against the wall behind him, “You’re fucking killing me.”

You pulled his chin down so he would look at you, “It’s because you know I’m right but you dont want to believe it.” It was your turn to calm him down, “Come on Bakugo. You need to think logically. This could be our only shot at getting him alone.”

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, “Alright let’s do this... what happened to not doing anything stupid?”

Bakugo clicked the pen several times as you followed Puppeteer to his office. Your breathing was getting tighter the closer you got to him. Finally you reached his door and gave Bakugo one last loving kiss before knocking.

“Enter”

Once inside you felt like it was at least ten degrees colder. You had chills running down your spine. Puppeteer sat at his desk with his feet propped up, “Ah, if it isn't Ground Zero and my beloved Y/n. What a treat this is.” He abruptly stood and and slammed his hands on his desk, “You caused me quite a headache Y/n... I didnt know you had it in you but alas you surprised me. And now you've come back home...”

Bakugo moved so his body was blocking you from Puppeteer’s view, “She’s not going anywhere with you!”

Puppeteer laughed, “Oh my poor boy has she bewitched you too? You must know by now that she can control what you see? Who knows what else she’s capable of. How do you even know what you feel for her is real?”

Bakugo growled, “Shut the fuck up!”

“You must have noticed how weird it was that of all people she chose you! How did she even find you? How did she happen to end up exactly where she needed to be to find you? Your hero agency is clear across town is it not? So what I would like to know... is how a poor, defenseless, ignorant girl, with no money, and no knowledge about how the outside world works... managed to escape a high security prison and make it across town to you... Makes you wonder?”

Bakugo’s hands balled into fists, “You dont know what you're fucking talking about!”

Puppeteer smirked and started to stalk towards you. “Oh but I do... That is my burden. I know everything... including how to do this.”

He held out his hand towards Bakugo and all the sudden Bakugo’s body tensed up. “What the hell are you doing?” Bakugo stepped away from you before turning and putting his hand up to your face. Sparks danced across his fingertips just like they did before he set off an explosion. “Shit Y/n! I can’t control it! You need to run! Get out of here before I-”

“I dont think so!” Puppeteer was grabbing you now and throwing you to the ground by his feet. “There’s only one way we all make it out alive so listen carefully. There is a helicopter waiting for Y/n and I on the roof. Ground Zero... you will let us go or I will make you kill all of your friends who are on their way right now. You will watch as you burn them all alive with your own hands!”

Bakugo’s eyes looked wild. This was an ultimatum. Fight for Y/n and risk the lives of his friends... or let them go...

Puppeteer picked you up and gripped your elbow, “Y/n dear.. how about you make his decision a little... easier? You know what to do.”

With tears streaming down your face, “I’m sorry Bakugo... there's no other way....”

And just like that you made him see nothing but blackness. He couldn't fight Puppeteer if he couldnt see him.

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mydaydreams · 5 years

Text

Glass Walls

Tony Stark

Warning:filthy lemon, ignoring infinity war, oh and alsoi love Pepper Pots so fucking much but tbh i made her a huge bitch in this.

Sum: Pepper is jealous of Tony and y/n's new relationship and y/n knows it. Its clear she wants Tony back. Y/n goes out of her way to make sure Pepper knows that ship has sailed.

*****

I walked up a flight of stairs an overnight bag slung over my shoulder and a pile of file folders in my arms. Tony had left them at my apartment over a week ago and i was only just now returning them. We hadn't been staying at my place much lately so i had finally gone home to get them. Tony did however tell me to pack a bag while I was there so I could come back and stay. I wondered when he would cave and have me move in but the relationship was still fairly new so i didnt want to rush things.

I sighed as i made my way to Tony's office and spotted the annoyingly familiar blonde hair through the glass door. Tony nowhere in sight.

I awkwardly pulled the door open offering her a nod and small smile in 'hello'. She rolled her eyes at me.

"You couldnt have gotten him to work on time?" She asked with a hint of bitch in her voice.

"Im his girlfriend not his alarm clock and I stayed at my place last night im not sure where he is." I said walking behind his desk and slinging my overnight bag over his desk chair and setting the files on his desk. Her eyes widened as she got a look at the files.

"You have had these files this whole time?" She gasped snatching them from the desk. She huffed and paced out of the room not waiting for my sarcastic reply.

Pepper had never liked me. I think it was mostly because I'm much younder than she is. She thinks shes been replaced with a youner module. Acting like i was just like one of Tony's cars or something.

It was clear and had been clear that she wants him back. Lingering looks here inappropriate touch there. It was really starting to piss me off. Plus i knew for a fact she was only in here early so she could hop up on top of Tony's desk and cross her legs while he worked.

I was sure she never did that when they were together. She had only started doing it when i did it.

The little copier. It was starting to get annoyingly childish. It started making me feel childish. Ever since i walked in on her sitting on his desk in front of him while she fixed his tie I have had this desier to out do her.

I sighed and flopped down on the couch in his office.

"Hey doll how'd you sleep?" Tony asked his voice groggy and his eyes blood shot.

I snorted at the nickname. Ever since he made up with his little boyfriend Steve hes really hitting the lingo.

" not as bad as you did it looks like. How many hours did you...?" He lifted his fingers '3'. I frowned and stood up reaching for him. He didnt really sleep well without her.

"Well you have been working none stop lately. Why don't you come back to the room with me and nap for a bit?" I said melting my body into his letting his warmth wrap around me. I took a deep breath of him and reached my arms around his neck.

"Can't, pepper has a list a mile long of shit for today." He said digging his head into my neck. I hummed softly but our moment was cut short.

"Starting now, you're late Tony!" Pepper voiced from the door. I cringed at the sound of her voice and seperated from Tony.

Tony sighed loudly and looked down at me.

"Head to the room and I'll be there in a few hours." He said handing me the nightbag from his chair. I smiled at him and pecked his lips before making my way to the door.

"Dont count on it." Pepper said under her breath but i could totally hear the bitch. I rolled my eyes and stepped out heading to the room and to fucking bed.

Not but 20 minutes later I felt large warm hands run my shirt up my back. Tony gently stroked the skin of tge small of my back with his fingers. I hummed. "I thought i had to share you today." I said turning my head so i could look at him. "Oh baby you dont have to share me with anyone." He said his voice still groggy from exhaustion. "Oh i love it when you talk to me like that..." I said straining my neck up to kiss him.

He sighed pleasantly into my lips as if he had been waiting all day for this, though we had kissed not but maybe 30 minutes ago. His body fell limp leaning against hers as they kissed. She pulled away from him.

"As much as i love hot sleepy sex Tony, I think you could really use some sleep." I said rolling him onto his back. He sighed heavily and his eyes closed the second I had turned him. I shook my head down at him and smiled.

" i love you so much you stupid sleepy man" I said kissing all over his face for a minute before shimmying down the bed to pull off his pants. He let out a struggeled chuckle as i pulled them down his legs.

" thought you said I should sleep." He said his eyes still closed but a new smirk playing on his lips.

"You are...we are going to sleep but i know for a fact you have had these clothes on for more than 20 hours so I'm gonna get them off of you." I said with a laugh.

"Only if i can get yours off of you." He flirted making me giggle and blush hotly. He leaned up slightly only to flop back down.

" i dont think you have the energy for that iron man." I said pulling the covers up both our legs and sinking into his side. He pouted

" at least take your top off for me? You know i cant sleep if i dont get atleast one peak at the girls" he said referring to my 'rockin tits' tony calls them.

" here i thought you just needed to be graced by my presence to have a good slumber." I said laying back. He turned over onto his stomach and leaned up on his elbows to look me in the eye.

" nope, its always been those rockin tits doll!" He said using one hand to catch the seem at the bottom of my shirt.

" just a peak." He lied as he pulled the shirt completely off and threw it on the ground. I laughed loudly as he began motorboating the my girls. I let out a happy girlish giggle/scream as he had his fun.

" Tony Starrrk!!!" I Scolded swatting at his sides as he took tight grips of each of my beasts and smushed them against his cheeks.

" never had a girl with tits as perfect as yours. Never had a girl with such a banggin body" he said as he starting kissing. This made me laugh he never talked like this. And i know he uses the work rockin offten while describing my body but i havr never heard the word banggin before.

" no i know your sleep happy." I said kissing his lips and making him lay down flat with my head on his chest.

"No sex?" He asked still in his sleep deprived state.

" the faster you fall asleep the faster i wake you up with my lips wrapped around your Co..." I didnt get to finish the sentence before i heard him snoring. I laughed a little thinking he was making a joke but when i looked up to kiss him he was actually forreal dead ass asleep. I just smiled and pecked his lips.

It had maybe been 3 hours when the shrill voice woke me.

"Tony it is well past 2 pm, you have missed 2 meetings and i have the board of directors on the phone waiting for your approval on...." She stopped talking wjen she saw me sitting up in his bed topless my gaping breast practically waving at her. I screamed and flopped back down on the bed pulling the covers over me. My reality brain finally catching up with my sleepy brain. What the fuck is she doing with a fucking key?

"Pepper what the hell are you doing in here?" Tony asked harshly as I hid under the covers into his side.

" what the hell am i doing? What the he'll are you doing? Fucking the staff in your place of work during office hours." She said raising her voice. I pocked my head out.

What the actual fuck? And who the actual fuck does she think she is.

First of....why the fuck does she have a key, why the fuck does she think its okay to just barge in to her bosses quarters while he's trying to sleep. And most importantly why the fuck does she have a key? Has she had it this whole fucking time? Had she never givin it back to tony when they split almost 2 years ago.

The shocked look that was plastered on iron mans face was a face only pepper fucking pots could bring out of him.

"Pepper what the fuck are you doing?" He said repeating himself unable to even comprehend her shots at him about fucking y/n while in his own fucking home.

"Tony, you and i have work to do but instead of maning up and doing your job you come back up to your little fuck toy. This is starting to get rediculos Tony! Your slacking at work, falling asleep on the job and not to mention...." She took a long dramatic pause before turning to me for a short second. "Your Little fuck toys should not be handling classified work files much less letting them take the files home with them to screw up." She finished sticking her bony little finger out to point at me.

"You know those files were missing for 2 weeks. We had a team searching for those documents Tony." She bitched as tony just looked at her like she was the insane.

"Pepper what the fuck?" He asked again rubbing his eyes.

"Peper what the fuck pepper what the Fuck... Stop pepper what the fucking me. You know what im talking about. Your new relationship with her has interrupted your work for the last time tony this is completely unprofessional and insanely inappropriate." She said her hands on her hips and her foot tapping on the ground over and over in frustration.

I wanted to just grab Tony's blaster gun and just shoot her. Who the fuck does she think she is?

" Pepper, y/n is not a fuck toy! Shes my girlfriend. The next time you refer to her you will call her "Tony's girlfriend" or you will call her by her fucking name. And if you really think my job performance is suffering, check what the fuck i was doing all night that left me this sleep deprived and exhausted. Was in my lab all fucking nigjt working on some tech for bruce and you would fucking know that if you went to the debriefing this morning instead of trying to beat my girlfriend to my office just to fucking bug her. You think y/n's and i's relationship is Inappropriate? You are the one that just broke into your bosses home and bedrrom just to tell him to get up for work. News flash pep just cuz i made you CEO dose not mean you are the fucking boss. Get the fuck out of y/n and i's room I'll be in work when im good and fucking ready!" He yelled his voice harsh and rough. His tone made me flinch but the fact that the tone of voice isnt directed at me made me smirk.

Pepper's mouth hung open her face was red from what i can only assume is embarrassment. She finally caught herself after about 45 seconds of complete and uter silence and she turned and walked towards the door.

" and Pepper i dont know where the fuck you got the key to our room but you can leave it at the house keeping counter. Im instructing friday to never let you back into this room under any circumstances ms.pots. and your on thin fucking ice pots, walking in on my girlfriend naked and i trying to sleep. You are lucky you didnt just lose your job. Leave!" He said sternly his face hot with anger and his hands gripping hard against the sheets.

Once pepper finally left Tony's room he turned to look down at me.

"Darling I am so sorry. I didnt kniw she could get in here. Im so sorry she saw your..." He didnt finish i just shook my head. After all its not the first chick to see my tits and its not like she dosent have the same parts....well my parts may be a bit bigger and better than hers but that nore here nore there.

" its fine baby its just fine. You dont have to apologize for anything after what you just did." I said scooting closer to him from where they had sepreated in the dramatic moment.

I couldnt believe he had said all of that. Tony and i have been together for over a year but with his ex still working right under him it has been a bit of a struggle. Tony had always been good at standing up for others especially his girl. And pepper had been pushing it for weeks. He thinks he knows why pepper is only just know acting out about their relationship. She finally gets that its becoming serious. After just one year his relationship with y/n was stronger, better, and, more serious than tony and peppers ever were. And tony and pepper had multiple years together under their belts yet after just one year of being with some yoinger ethnic girl tony wants to take her to see the world and their planing trips and sending out fucking christmas cards. It had made Pepper's blood boil so she would continue to try and undermine anything y/n was trying to do in front of tony. Every time she would try and make a cute joke or tell a funny story pepper would try and ruin it or just interrupt y/n in the middle of her stories to start on of her own that no one wanted her to begin.

The other avengers caught on to this quickly too. After meeting me, one by one they all had their own issues and opinions on tonys new gf. Of course thats a given they were all so close and then i come in all new and young and not knowing anything. After a while everyone was eventually okay with my existence all but pepper of course. When they would interrupt most of the team would end up finding their way back to me to find out the rest of my stories. They could all tell Pepper had issues and wasnt over tony she wasnt exactly being suddle but...tony tony just completely shut her the fuck down. And plus that...he called it our room not just his. Then he called her ms.pots instead of pepper in the end completely changing their friendship status to im not even gonna call you by your first name status. And that had to be worse than just a basic acquaintance.

Our room, I cant believe it.

" inappropriate! We're inappropriate? Please. I'll show her inappropriate!" He said making laugh

" its okay babe."I said reasuring him that im totally fine.

" no its not. Plus she ruined my nap time wake up blow job. If she wants to see inappropriate I'll take you to my office right now and fuck you in front of the team, the staff,god and everybody. I swear Thor will be able to hear your screams from fucking asgard." He teased but i took 100% serious.

I coughed nervously before saying " i mean...id be down for that." Tonys mouth grew into a wide smile before he rushed into action.

By now the regular staff of employees have already gone for the day and just the people who live in building and pepper are left. Pepper's desk is diagonal from his and smaller in space but it still shows that it is a person of authority.

Tony and I had been chatting in his office for a minute. Each of them stealing glances over at Pepper where she had her head stuck in some case files. For a second i thought maybe Tony was totally joking and we weren't about to fuck on his office desk and in a way i was right...he didnt fuck me on the desk.

He Sat and spinned on his chair for a minute before beckoning me to come and sit on his lap. He did this dangerously sexy thing where he spun in his chair and stopped to make eye contact then he would look down at his lap making my eyes follow his. His arms out on his legs. His hands pat his meaty thighs just begging me to take a seat on my thrown. It made me gulp

Shit we really were bouta do this?

He grabbed my hand as I got nearer to him. He looked up at me for a minute just staring into my eyes. It gave me a chance to really look at him. His eyes were no longer blood shot and his pale skin had finally changed back to its regular tan. He looked well rested, happy, content.

He let his other hand fall off his legs to reach out for mine. His finger tips traced up my thigh and under the skirt. He gace me a devilish look before his eyes slightly flicked to ms.pots desk. He smirked again as he saw she was in fact watching his every move. He let his hand grip onto my thigh to lift it up in the air and over his lap. This quick movement starteled me, i grabbed a hold of his shoulder for leverage as he yanked my other leg up and onto him as well so he had me successfully straddlling his waist.

He hummed into my chest for a minute before kissing his way up my neck. My body instantly relaxed against him as he started up his trail to my lips. He hadnt had sex in what...40 hours. 50? God it was like a life time.

His hands struggling to grade and massage at everything he could get a hold of. He almost regreted making her put clothes back on and leave the bedroom in the first place. He alreay had her in nothing but a thong on his bed. But of course he had to follow his public place kink....but hey...im not complaining.

My peripherals caught site of Peper crumpling up pieces of paper on her desk. They were actually making her scwerm. Good the bitch deserves it.

And with that thought, i pulled my top off slowly making sure to thro the shirt into the glass whwre peper was looking in from where she sat at her desk. Tonys windows were fairly tented higher than any other office in the building so they werent 100% visible but if you squint it's not hard to see.

I pressed my tits into Tony's face for the second time that day and he let out an almost childlike laugh causing me to blush hard. Tony pulled his shirt over his head finally letting my hands run down his firm chest. I leaned down to kiss at all this new skin he was showing.

His hands moved to hike my leg up and over one of the arm rests of the chair so he could get his hand under me.

"Mmm look how wet you are." He moaned his eyes closing as his fingers spread my lips open for a second before dipping his pointer into my juices only to slush it around. My body was already twitching And ready for him to touch.

" so smooth, you're so perfect for me baby" he said slipping two fingers into me. I gasped out and wrapped my arms around his neck and took a tight grip on his hair. His beefy fingers plunged into me, stretching me out and making me hot.

"Tony" I whined at him trying to buck my hips into his hand. He chuckeled at me as his fingers slowly started moving in and out of me. I grinded up agaisnt his palm as his fingers curlled and hit the not inside me.

I threw my head back as his handsl moved faster his fingers hitting the right spot over and over.

" Fuck fuck Tony" I moaned trying to hump down on him. His other hand snaked up to pinch my clit ever so lightly and he knew he had me. My walls qlenched around his fingers and he continued to curl them up into me making me moan loudly each time.

"Your gonna cum y/n. Then I'm going to make you sink down on top of me. You're wrap that tight pussy around my cock and I'm gonna fuck you up against this glass wall. How does that sound baby?" He asked looking up at me. My mouth hung wide open as his words and i could feel my slick dripping from me and into his waiting hands.

"Mhmmm yes. Please Sir Yes!" I said my voice high pitched. He groaned loudly before i felt his hand withdraw and move to shove his pants down his legs and off. I took that chance to free him from him boxers and stroke up his length. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment only to grip both of my hips.

I knew he was ready so i lined him up and he all but shoved me down. He filled me quickly making me scream his name but only for a moment before he already had them moving.

The tight grip he had on her thighs left her room for no control over her own hips. They were going at his pace and it was agonizingly slow but felt to amazing to tell him to move faster.

"God your so fucking tight around me." He moaned his head falling off the back of the chair. His eyes rolling back a bit. I took that chance to start pushing down on him a little faster. The tip of his dick finally deep enough to bump my cervix. God his dick is so long...thick....ughh how can i have it inside me and want it in my mouth all at the same time.

"Fuck you feel so good!"he said his eyes opening to watch my breasts bounce up and down for him. He humps up inside my making me gasp out a loud throaty moan. I moved my hips harder to grind into him. That move obly made me twitch hard and cum all over his lap and down his dick. My body shook above him in a hot orgasm but Tony wouldnt stop. Bucked up into me fucking me upward making all my cum and slick splash down on his thighs. The grip i had on his hair tightened as he pumped is load deep into me. He let out a loud moan of my name before letting my body fall slack against him almost locking his cum in place inside me.

We sat there for a minute trying to catch our breath. Pepper completely forgotten. I thought maybe he was bluffing earlier and we were done fucking in his office for fun but after aminute he starts nibbling my ear lobe before saying

"Stand up and put both your hands on the glass."

My eyes shot open to look at him. Was he serious? The only thing pepper could really see right now was my bare back and i thought that may be enough but tony Bucky his hips not just penetrating but pushing me up too.

I hoped off of him and turned away from him. Doing as he told, I raised my hands up and leaned against the glass.

Tony was sex laughing joyfully as he stood up behind me. He kicked my ankles apart and ran his hands down my back.

"Sometimes i wish i would have fucked you like this in the tower. That way everyone in the city would see iron man fucking whats his."

His breath tickeled my neck as he spoke. It made me shiver as his chest pressed agaisnt my back. His hands slid up my sides and around my front to squeeze my breasts.

" still cant believe these are real"

He whispered as he started kissing from my ear to my shoulder.

"Tony please!" I said begging unable to take any more of his torture.

" you know what i want to here." He said his hand moving down to my sex. He gently slapped my sex making me gasp and flinch.

"Please fuck me with your Iron, Iron Man!" I bagged turning my head to look at him and biting my lip. He took that moment to push my body fully against the glass. My body shivering from the cold of the glass against my skin.

He kissed my lips before pushing inside me. My head fell back against his chest and I let out a loud moan of his name.

He hummed from behind me as his hips thunked into my back side.

The sound of our sweaty hot skin slapping together echoed through the rooms the only other sound were my erratic breaths and moans.

His pace quickened sending tingeles through my body as he rocked me into the glass.

" fuck fuck yes Fuck!" He had me chanting as his poundings god harder, my moaned getting louder. I reached up on the glass trying to grab fro someyhing only to just hit my fists against hit twice as my walls clinched around him.

" Tonnnn...yyy" i screached as my cum gushed around him.

" fuck y/n, I'm gonna cum." He said lifting his hand up to grabe my face so i was looking at him again. He kissed me and Basically sucked my tongue into his mouth making it wrestle with his as his cum spread throughout my insides. He bit down on my lip before pulling away to look at me.

" that may have been the hottest thing we ever done." He said after catching his breath. He pulled out of me but kept me in his arms. He stept backward 2 steps and all but fell into his desk chair with me on his lap. He sighed and leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. I smiled down at him and kissed at the hairs on his chest where my head laid.

" not even the time in the elevator?" I asked playfully. He smirked but didnt open his eyes.

"Nope."

" or the time in loki's old cell."

"Nope."

"Not even the time when..." He stopped me finally looking at me.

"Maybe the time in asgard on thor's thrown." He said making me laugh.

"I still cant believe he dosent know. I mean its not like we cleaned up after." I said giggling. Tony laughed loudly for a moment his eyes sparkeling.

" I thought you said you had." My mouth dropped open at his words. I bit my lip in an almost funny embarrassment feeling.

"Oh... Well i mean you hadnt asked me to." I said only making him laugh harder and longer. He wiped his eyes in his hysterics and slapped at the knee i wasnt propped up on.

After a few minutes of loving, naked, silence he looked down at me his happy face was now replaced with a look of guilt.

"I'm really sorry about Pepp...oh shit.." He started before landing on her nam and remembering why they were in his office in the first place. Both his and my heads snapped to look at peppers desk. She was in fact no where to be seen. I started blushing hard before making eye contact with Tony again. He bit on his lip trying to hold back a smile. I broke first but we both burst out in loud huffs of laughter. His chest shaking hard. My head fell down on his chest as I shook my head in disbelief.

"We really did that." I said he laughed again.

"We really really did that." He said pulling my hair back to expose my neck to kiss me.

" and im about ready to do it again." I said moaning. He matched my pitch with a groan.

" God I love you!" He said I kissed him hotly and nibbled at his facial hair.

"Tony." I said softly

"I love you too!"

#marvel #marvel smut #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #smut #iron man #iron man smut #tony stark smut #tony stark #robert downey junior #robert downey jr #robert downey jr smut #avengers smut #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war #endgame #marvel endgame

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losersweregoingclownhunting · 5 years

Text

New IT AU

So I can’t stop thinking about if in the future they decide to remake IT again (and let’s face it, it feels like the only thing that happens with movies is remakes it’s entirely possible. If we can have 6 millions spider-man movies, we can have more IT).

But what if 1) it was mainly female losers because that’s really the story we deserve 2) its updated/changed so like the reason they’re “losers” and ostracized by their classmates makes more sense for when it would be set (like imagine the beginning being set around this time).

Richie (Rachel/Rach): I mean, we all know a loud mouth kid that makes inappropriate comments like Richie. But it’s always a guy. When girls make comments like that they’re judge way harsher and told to be more ladylike. Plus, ADHD is often missed in young girls so I’d love to see a female character with ADHD. Plus a relationship between female Richie and female Eddie deserves to be told at some point. Also female Richie would 100% say suck my dick all the time while making vine references even though she never had a vine account.

Bev (Brently/Brent): What if Bev was a trans man? Bev’s dad being a transphobic dick making comments about ‘his little girl’.

Bill (Isabela/Izzy/Iz): Bill being a first generation kid who maybe didn't know all lot of English when she started school. Instead of a stutter, she struggles with the language barrier. And even though she learns English quick enough she’s still bullied/harrassed because of the political climate.

Stan (Samara/Sam): (edited based on ask) Literally just Stan as a woman, because @bichie‘s right, we need Jewish leads! And I feel like we need more woman Jewish characters, but that may just be me.

Mike (Mishael): (added based on ask) Islamic Mike. Give us more main characters who wear hijabs tbh.

Ben (Bethany/Beth): (added later) was overweight throughout high school and bullying lead to an eating disorder in college She overcame (there may be better word, but I can’t remember it right now) her disorder only for feelings to resurface when she returns to Derry.

I don’t know about the other three because I just thought of this today. I just love the idea of an alternate story because we’ve heard the original story told three different times now. So making changes/updates to the characters would be so interesting.

I would also love if it were a televison series that allowed them to go more in depth about their traits and why Pennywise manifested the way he did or said the things he did based on their characterization.

But also since they were older in the newest movies what if they were like 16 in this one so there was content of them being kids but then we get to see the losers as friends in high school. And instead of Silver, Bill drives a shitty old car they all call rusty.

I don’t know, I could come up with a million different stories based on this, what do you y’all think?

“Fuck, I think I’m having a heart attack,” Rachel (Richie) gasped.

“Quit being so melodramatic, you're not having a heart attack,” Ellie (Eddie) scoffed.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didnt realize you were the world’s leading Cardiologist.”

“OH. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were the world’s leading Cardiologist,” Ellie repeated sarcastically.

“Suck my dick, El.”

“Weird that’s exactly what your dad said to me last night.”

Samara (Stanley) rolled her eyes, walking away from the two while Mishael (Mike) spoke. “Ladies, you’re both pretty.”

Rachel stretched her legs out on the dash of Isabel’s (Bill) car. She’d hit her growth spurt early and no one really caught up. Five years later and she was still a gangly mess.

“Iz, your car is a piece of shit.”

“At least I have a car, Rach.”

“Well I’m gay, so jot that down.”

“Yeah, and you turned left on a red light during your test.”

“The guy said to turn, Izzy. Was I not supposed to?” Isabel gave Rachel an exasperated look. “Fine, where did you get a gun? Do you even know how to shoot a gun?”

“It’s my dad’s, yes I can shoot it, and before you ask I brought it because I am not going into that creepy ass house with a demon chasing us if I don’t have a gun.”

Beth (Ben) was fiddling with her phone. The headphones were cutting out, but she was just trying to make it home. The last day of the school year and she escape the bullies for the summer. She turned the corner, running into Brent Marsh.

“Woah, watch where you’re going new kid,” he laughed. Beth blushed, looking away. “What are you listening to?” Beth didn’t answer and Brent looked at her phone. “One direction. They broke up right?” Beth nodded. “Well, it’s the End of the Day new kid. You might want to head home.”

Brent turned to walk away and Beth struggled to think of something clever. “I want to know Everything About You!” She called, but Brent didn’t hear. “That’s another One Direction song.”

- Okay, now I kind of want to rewrite IT…

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justsomeantifas · 5 years

Text

its 11:59 its still technically tonight so

this is gonna be my reference point to questions abt venezuela, at least regarding things pre- May 19 2019. Its a bit scattered and it may get edited down along the road, but yeah.

short version that draws some similar conclusions: https://www.salon.com/2019/05/17/the-plot-to-kill-venezuela_partner/

one difference in scales that’s important to keep in mind: the lifespan of people is 2-7 decades. the lifespan of colonialism lasts centuries. the lifespan of media memory is a couple years, tops.

Most western narratives of venezuela start meaningfully at chavez, which is a mistake. The focus point in history around which the country flowed was the Caracazo. You probably already know about this, but a massive uprising took place in the heart of Caracas, against decades of dictatorship both formal and informal, after severe instability in the global oil market. The people were hungry, the riots were fiery, and the bullets bled. knows the death toll even now, but its estimated well into the thousands. This happened pre-chavez, and started a cascade of events which brought him into limelight that you can read about here. not gonna go into more venezuelan history, but i talk a bit more here

chavez was democratically elected, multiple times.

in 2002, after his first democratic election, he was kidnapped by US-backed troops and replaced by someone who threw out the 1999 constitution, which was as legitimate as any other made in venezuela’s colonial and violently capitalist history, seeing as it was the first (aka only, so far) of 26 constitutions actually approved by popular referendum. He was reinstated largely due to massive protests in support of him. Maduro however doesn’t really have as much of the charisma and support of chavez, which is creating problems - as well as exacerbating problems created by the economic crises ramping up just around chavez’s death. In 2015, there were elections to the National Assembly, which ended up with the Opposition winning a majority of the seats (which does show that there’s some degree of fairness in the elections, at least verifiably up til that point, yet that isnt rly accounted for when western media describes it as “undemocratic” - many of whom don’t apply the same scrutiny to their own country: such as this UN Human Rights councilor who also happens to be the crown prince of british-iraq, currently residing in the noted democracy of the Kingdom of Jordan, which has no vested interest or control over any particular export of Venezuela.).

This turnout showed most of all that maduro had alienated as many as 2 million of his supporters, who didnt end up voting (though many also voted against him - trying to act on their feeling that whatever they want, its “not this”). This decreasing support also accelerates whats known as “Everyday Sabotage” - people not trusting in the government, and look out for their own interests contra everyone else. This is a danger inherent to tying “Socialism” to a primarily state project.

However 1999 Constitution was never meant as an eternal document & it created mechanisms to call for new popular constitutional referendums to be held. That’s what the “Constituent Assembly” is about, which is what a lot of the western world is describing as him singlehandedly rewriting it (while also being “vague about its contents”), or “created by him”. Elections to the constituent assembly were boycotted by opposition, so that it would be government controlled & look like a sham in the eyes of the broader world. That being said, the assembly was called both as a reaction to losing election but also in response to intensifying crises - it was put forth (i don’t see any reason to believe in bad faith) as a way to come together and figure out how to address the needs that were driving people to protest - to address the desire for “not this”, but bc of the uncertainty, it was easily twistable by reactionaries by putting all emphasis on the former. Also timing corresponds with increasing fears of maduro straying from the path of chavez, the image of scrapping one of his strongest plays for smth unknown is risky - tho if there are other meaningful options given the situation im not sure. And the body’s got at least as much constitutional legitimacy as Guaido (Chapter III)

The 1999 constitution also enabled a recall election to be called against maduro in 2016, bc it was written with particular attention to holding public officials accountable - similar noble commitments helped to end the presidency of Rousseff & bring in Bolsonaro (who was also one of the people spurring on the investigations and whipping up a social base).

(speaking of guaido & bolsonaro)

on Guaido:

part of student group in 2007 protesting against non-renewal of coup-assisting network, who the CFR (one of the major think tanks of the cold war still playing a big role in foreign policy today) considered “most important network”

close friend of Leopoldo Lopez, the aforementioned coup plotter.

politician since 2010, won a couple small elections

Unknown to majority of general population until 2019, most venezuelans surveyed didnt know him

Plan Pais

plans to privatize state owned industry & allow investment from foreign oil companies

center-right neoliberal draped in platitudes of “stability”, “revitalization”, “security”, and “rescue” - a message seemingly deliberately targeted to become more and more resonant with increased sanctions.

/on Guaido

governing is about the expression of power. I wanna live in a world where that power isn’t expressed, but as long as the exploitation of the global working class continues unabated, id prefer some of that power be put towards helping the poor.

there is no such thing as a static state of affairs, there’s no “goldilocks zone” out in the political universe where we tweak things finely until we find whats best for everyone, only different rates of change in different dimensions. what we need to do is figure out how we can push that state of affairs in a direction so that everyday people have the power to take control of their lives. re

re: “constitutionality” - if the supreme court calls it constitutional then its constitutional. period. There’s no such thing as a supreme court as an “independent branch” of government, but there are different degrees of integration into the rest of it.

The Supreme Tribunal of Venezuela has 32 members, (a bit more than a dozen put in by the national assembly, while the PSUV held it), and the opposition holds abt 3 away from a supermajority. Each member of the court holds their spot for 12 years. If that’s “The Most Corrupt In The World” according to Transparency International, i wonder what world the 9-person lifetime-appointed US Supreme Court (2 of which appointed by trump, and save for pulling a Weekend At Ginsbergs, likely 3) is on. In fact, one of the tactics that the more radical circles of democrat voters are putting forward is to pack the Supreme Court. Because thats how shit actually gets done, or at the least how shit is prevented from being committed w the stamp of legality. FDR learned that lesson too, in trying to pass what is today known as “The New Deal”

My comparisons to trump are for specific end: these actions are exerted on levers of liberal democracy, and every single liberal democracy is susceptible to them in some ways.

whats a “dictator”? if hes unelected, the millions of people who participated in the elections dont seem to think so. if maduro is a dictator, then what is donald trump? the majority of ppl didnt vote for him yet hes still governing. macron’s popularity has at several points been less than 1/3, and the yellow vest protestors have been violently attacked - why is he not “a violent dictator with only the support of the military”? These terms are not neutral.

“their elections are highly flawed” So What? show me a country whose elections arent.

“opposition jailed” - ok but coup plotters don’t get off easy in any liberal democracy. If someone - say Bernie Sanders - said “enough is enough” and succeeded in overthrowing the current government with the help of a foreign government…. you think they’d let him go free? what if ten years later he was getting his supporters all riled up to do it again? how long you think he’d be in jail for (assuming he can survive well into his 100’s)? You think more than 13 years? Think he’d get house arrest? Some US states lock you up for posessing weed up to 10. If you stay long enough around this blog, youll find plenty of other examples of much more cruel and unusual punishments. Look at Chelsea Manning, look at Oscar Riviera… look at the US protestors saying Guaido is illegitimate

what we have to keep in mind most of all, is to show that the contradictions being exploited are inherent to Liberalism. Contradictions are just expressed most freely at the margins - the interstices

poor economic decisions happen everywhere - 2008/2009 still affecting the entire world there’s violence thats “natural”, and violence thats “intolerable”. The dividing line is whether we have anything to gain by changing things.

sanctions: started under obama, originally targeted specific individuals, used as precedent for more generalized. They’re indirect - they have a “squeezing effect”, takes already-existing problems & just makes them markedly worse. also doesn’t necessarily correlate with emigration, bc it takes a lot of money to start a new life somewhere else, and sanctions disproportionately affect the poor.

war wouldnt likely look like (many) US boots on the ground - we’ve got plenty of other places to be. It’d look like guns being smuggled to counter-protestors. It’d look like sending resources to neighboring countries like Colombia or Brazil who would then use their troops. Colombias ruling party is right wing populists - much of current president’s campaign was run on fearmongering abt venezuelan socialism - they’re raring to go. It’d look like drones https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracas_drone_attack. Also means there likely won’t be a sudden trigger, its a gradually escalating stressful gradually-more-warlike situation.

If war does break out - where would the refugees go? In reality the majority would go to Colombia, but if anything significant breaks out there will be a stream of those looking to find shelter in the US, which has advertised itself as a beacon of hope - what would happen to them? some may get taken in as a gesture of showmanship, but nowhere close to the majority.

speaking of the US - imagine if trump and bolton manage to actually plot a winning coup. Do you think that that wont be his main bullwark against ppl like Bernie? you think the media and rest of the democratic party wont jump on that narrative and “begrudgingly” support a fascist because the alternative might mean supporting single payer and not-having-good-for-ratings-climate-apocalypse?

another term thrown around without regard is “once vibrant” - for whom?

most articles ive seen just take this as an axiom, and dont find any cognitive dissonance when also saying chavez reduced poverty hugely.

The answer to that rhetorical question: Citgo is venezuelan, before chavez none of the wealth went back to venezuela - thats what “vibrancy” means.

many similarities with BP (the-artist-formerly-known-as-the-anglo-iranian-oil-company)

in age of climate change & vocal ppl about phasing out oil, the more one’s livelihood is connected to oil, the more unstable ones country will be - either that, or the more instability ones country will cause.

“Oil exports fell by $2,200 per capita from 2012 to 2016, of which $1,500 was due to the decline in oil prices.”

The drop in price that affected the venezuelan economy so much in 2014 was largely by US shale fracking

in 1970’s Chile, copper was the main product of Chile - allende nationalized the mines, and in return wall street dropped the

(also worth noting that venezuela’s got non-insignificant untapped shale basins)

At least venezuela used the oil money to fund social programs instead of like, pad the pockets of Raytheon.

also oil price wars in africa highly correlated w oil (whose annual production doesn’t even combined total venezuelas)

a couple ppl have raised concerns abt my strong stance on equivocal dismissal - if there’s a difference, if there’s some way of reading your statement that says “X country that the State Dept wants to invade is an anomoly in the otherwise free world”, then that’s acting to push the discourse towards normalization & invasion. It’s not “whataboutism”, just basic consistency.

now more than ever, narratives are affected by people. They may not be ones we had a hand in forging, but the way that we propagate them actually does have measurable effects on the larger-scale political outcomes. Always look for the base assumptions, as well as the direction

sure denounce Chavez. sure denounce Maduro. denounce Kim, Xi, Castro, anyone. But if there’s no equally or proportionally loud denunciations of the horrors perpetrated by allies - the “assumed”, “natural” violence, then you’re acting to reinforce the narrative of exceptionalism.

Just make sure after you take a breath, you denounce Saudi Arabia & Yemen, Israel for Palestine, the conditions which brought Argentinian/Brazillian, Brazilian coup, the US for Puerto Rico, the conditions which have murdered dozens of journalists in Mexico per year…

what people want most of all is stability. “A debate over whether it is mismanagement and corruption by the Maduro government or the sanctions that are the author of the crisis is largely irrelevant. The point is that a combination of the reliance on oil revenues and the sanctions policy has crushed the policy space for any stability in the country.”

government’s errors and tensions

fixed exchange rate -> black market

took 5 years to address changing relation between dollar & BsF, all the room between those two curves left a huge room for intensifying crises, though since it also corresponds with the death of chavez, it sorta makes sense.

antidemocratic actions and remarks by maduro

scattered responses filled w half-solutions

diversification needed, but how do you diversify an economy filled with rampant poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy…

(nominally begrudging) support for mineral extraction 12.4% of territory opened to extraction - “Special Economic Zone” as a method of managing decay

this is also what much of the reality of “economic diversification” looks like

not enough socialism. (even fox agrees!) Venezuela shows the limits of Social Democracy in countries living outside of the Imperial Core - esp the dangers if you’re in the crosshairs already bc of oil

started out as populism, gradually grew as confronted more. shows shaping influence on political organs from actions of foreign actors - if you’ve survived a coup before, you’re gonna become paranoid about any more of them - especially when the coup plotters say “hey lets do more coups”

also shows the weakness of only having a small number of charasmatic faces representing the movement - if one dies and theres no clear and popular replacement, then you’ll lose ppl who were largely brought in by the charisma, weakening your political project, and creating cracks for reactionary forces to take advantage of - especially in times of transition.

bourgeoisie still control a majority of the economy. Capitalist businesses are internally unaccountable, and in this age of intensified global trade, one can punish countries for straying from the pack by moving business & focus away. If you’re looking for dictatorships, look at the thousands of private companies run as dictatorships daily

capital flight is a real effect, precisely because socialism is fundamentally and irreconcilably against the self-interest of the bourgeoisie. not necessarily against the interest of the humans-who-are-also-bourgeois, but of the impersonal self-sustaining force of capital.

Have you ever pulled something out of an electrical socket, and seen a quick spark? The reason that occurs is bc of what’s called an induction current, which is a fancy physics word for flowing electricity not liking to suddenly change its flow. If you accidentally touch that spark, you might feel it, but youll live to tell the tale. But if you only take the plug out halfway & touch it, that’s a different story. Capital flows similarly.

my country (lithuania) has been facing sky-high emigration since the collapse of the USSR (with an added boost after 08-09), we have also consistently had one of the highest suicide rates in the world (#7), a minimum wage of about 3 Euros an hour (after a recent increase), as well as one of the highest prison populations in Europe (discounting Russia & Belarus… which like….)

when are we gonna be invaded? when will the US media talk about our pain?

oh wait, they did. We cried all pretty for the TV cameras, then they got a bozo nobody really knew of to denounce the government, who they called dictatorial (though it was far from ideal, massive bureaucracies dont tend to mix well with single-person-decision-making). And to be fair, the fact that the government was unpopular wasnt entirely undeserved. But what was promised to us was the idea of “Freedom”, “Free Enterprise”; to “Get Rid of Corruption” and institute “Real” Democracy". They said we’d be integrated into the glorious capitalist west, and we understood that to mean that we’d be in the position of a Germany, or at least an Austria or smth. But they never meant to integrate us into the imperial Core, we have always been seen as part of the Periphery - the “assumed” violence that “naturally” happens.

Then we got to where we our today. Some of the stuffs more available, but expensive. Most of the bureaucracy’s still around, it just helps fewer people. We stand as an example of what to expect, in one of the best case scenarios, you would join our emigrees now making up a significant percentage of underpaid house-servants aka maids across the EU.

if we want the people of Venezuela to be healthy, safe, and fulfilled, then:

speak out and pointing to the effects of US sanctions is incredibly important. They’ve already killed 40,000 people in the last year, and 300,000 more are in extreme danger (and millions more in long-term risk).

what does it mean when you simultaneously sanction trade with a place but also demand they let you give them humanitarian aid?

if there is to be action taken by the international community, then the US has forfeited its right to speak. They threw it away once in 2002, and obama rhetorically picked it up and dusted it off so that trump could throw it in a bigger dumpster, thats also on fire. However we also still live in a world deeply shaped by US Hegemony, so the opinions of its close trade partners & closest-knit media buds should be seen as influenced as such. Doesn’t mean that theyre wrong on everything too, but they still feel the magnetic pull of the US economy and ecosystem (as well as their own potentially imperial interests) and the effect of that force cannot be discounted.

transitioning our economies away from oil & away from globalized neoliberalism which only values peripheral states by their exports - dissolves tensions of how to produce in unproductive terrain

socialize medicine in the US, so that drug companies run by dictatorships can’t control their lives & ours. healthcare is especially reliant on imports, sanctions affect especially strongly.

normalize the ideas of Socialism, without taking the easy way out of “oh no dont think of Venezuela, think of sweden or denmark”. None of them are Socialist, but to avoid the complexities of Venezuela is to imagine that US attempts at socialism wouldn’t involve significant capital flight. If we don’t consider that, if we don’t have solid actionable plans to deal with that, while also facing the inherent complexity of changing material conditions, then we’re gonna waste whatever shot we get.

redirect conversation normally centered around government towards support of the tens of thousands of small business co-operatives, where people live their daily lives in a democratic manner.

on The Communes:

“delegating responsibility throughout all members, and bringing important decisions to the whole to work through and find the best possible solution… They create “collective criteria” together; agreements stipulating whether individuals have power over certain decisions or whether it is up to the whole group. However, he assures that these “are not rigid, they can change at any moment.” The cooperative I lived with in Venezuela had regular organizational meetings where they informally came to agreement and were even able to come back to re-evaluate decisions that didn´t seem to be satisfactory for the whole group in this same way. Decisions and decision making, in this way, are viewed as a process not contained by meetings and discussions in board rooms, but are always being analyzed and made better by the process of putting them into action, and not only by thinking them out and writing them down.”

- the “Self Government of the Producers” - aka what it looks like for cooks to govern.

they have communal councils as well - neighborhood councils in the same vein that so many (rightfully) find inspiring in Kurdistan . They preexisted chavez, but they were able to proliferate and be given legal recognition through him. I understand that legal recognition can act to ‘name’ a body & pin it to smth that doesn’t match its requisite variety - how dynamic it is, but imo as its currently legislated it recognizes a good amount of the autonomy that they had already been excersizing. - liable to change government recognition of co-ops has drawbacks too, and correlates negatively with that coop’s success

"A good example of this intention is the de-emphasis that cooperatives in Venezuela put on advertising or “marketing” products, and instead push to find more people to become part of the cooperative, and choose the services or products they provide based on community decisions about what is needed. A cooperative I worked in […] was originally a family owned and operated theater group that traveled around the country performing theater pieces that highlighted social and environmental issues. When they joined the […] cooperative, the larger co-op did an analysis and decided they wanted a natural fruit juice concentrate producer and gave the group a loan to acquire capital and start producing. They have been doing this for only a couple of years now but have already paid back the loan to the larger cooperative and are bringing extra money in to support themselves, better their services, and supply extra funds to the larger cooperative for community projects such as the recently [2012] built community health center…

The cooperative services I experienced and learned about in Venezuela were health, dental, food, and a separate example of trash services. A dental cooperative […] provides quality dental services (I know because I used them) almost every day for affordable prices. You don´t have to be a member of the cooperative, and you don´t have to make an appointment. It takes only a couple of hours, and emergency situations are treated with urgency. The health center, built with funds provided by all the associated cooperatives[…], works the same way. Anyone can go there, the services are subsidized by the cooperative so they are affordable, the clinic and workspaces are clean and well taken care of, and the quality of the service is great. Worker-members of the cooperative receive health care at the facility without charge except for the massage and acupuncture services that they also provide at a really low price.

[…] food services are priced to provide more access to food for the community in which it exists. The original and persistent intention is to make the best situation for people on all ends of the process. The producers are part of the cooperative and are part of the group that decides the prices that growers get, as well as the prices that the food is sold for. This means that both farmers and workers at the market decide what to charge a person, which ultimately affects how much money the growers receive, as well as if the food is affordable for the people who need to eat who live in the city. In a normal capitalist market system these parties are separated and put up against each other, raising prices for consumers and lowering them for small producers, excluding those people from getting enough money to afford all the necessities that are typically only provided at a high price.

One communal council, a parallel governing organization of community members linked to investment funds from the national government, in the city of Merida, Venezuela organized themselves to get funds to buy a trash collection truck. The truck at the time was used for a specific waste removal project that removed waste from their community regularly but was not a traditional collection service. However, they did have plans to expand the project to start their own collection service, and this would be provided by the commal council, an anti-capitalist organization which does not require people to pay for the service. Although this is not a “co-operative” as some hardliner co-operative enthusiasts might point out, it is a horizontal anti-capitalist organization widening access of necessary services to the larger community run by community members; following cooperative values of equity, inclusion, and solidarity I believe this to be an example of cooperative economics and action. It appears to me that economic inclusion is much more likely to widen only when those who are being excluded are included in the process of organizing the services and are in control of the economy.“

until the communes, workers cooperatives, and the like are strong enough to rule themselves, having Maduro in power is the only option given to us which doesn’t trigger the control of reactionaries. People make their own history, but not in situations of their choosing - the exact outcome isn’t predetermined, but there’s only a limited number of poles - gravitational attractors - towards which that trajectory is heading at any particular time.

if maduro acts to squash the power of the communes, then thats a different situation. but until that point, we outside of the country must work to center any discussion on these bodies - they are the heart of the country and of whatever social revolution has occurred/is further possible. They are filled with lessons for us to learn from, and show how rich and dynamic the organized populace can be if they are allowed to control their communities. (ex of dealing with gang violence from @ 22:50)

This is all said with recognition that many chavistas have acted against communes, the bureaucratic machine acts to co-opt much of their energy, its linguistically obscured the concept of "ownership” with that of “control”, and that the state has changed its messages over time. But the heart of the communes is what’s a priority, and they have acted against the government overstepping its bounds & mis-identifying them. But whats important is that there’s a feedback process in the gvt to actually allow them to assert their autonomy. Liberals will do their utmost to close those channels.

If Guaido and the Popular Will take control of power, be assured that whatever gains made in organizing the everyday people of Venezuela will be at the top of the chopping block. How effective that suppression turns out to be is undetermined - it might turn out to strengthen the communes, but that outcome would be damage control, not something to try and bullseye.

Effective Propaganda knows that its more effective to control what’s left out than control what’s put in. Keep that in mind, and study trajectories and forces.

other links:

https://next.podbay.fm/podcast/1363342644/e/1551711604

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voc08vh9cJY

https://www.counterpunch.org/2013/06/21/a-cowboy-in-caracas/

https://thenextrecession.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/the-tragedy-of-venezuela/

https://www.multpl.com/venezuela-gdp

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2014/04/fivethirtyeights-venezuela-problem

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-venezeulas-middle-class-is-taking-to-the-streets/

https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/bjkmq8/fiery-protest-leader-leopoldo-lopez-faces-13-year-sentence-in-venezuela

https://potent.media/minimum-sentencing-for-marijuana-possession

https://www.thoughtco.com/core-and-periphery-1435410

https://popularresistance.org/building-the-commune-radical-democracy-in-venezuela/

http://www.antiwar.com/regions/regions.php?c=Venezuela

#venezuela #reference #imperialism #chavez #maduro #socialism #capitalism #extraction #oil #war #emigrant #communes #cooperatives

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blazehedgehog · 4 years

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What’s wrong with different games in the same genre playing differently? You dont have a run button or the ability to jump on enemy’s heads in castlevania, and you can’t duck in megaman (usually). Metal Gear Solid didnt play like a shooter for a long time, and not every jrpg needs to be turn based or even have a menu. Sonic unleashed doesn’t play like sonic adventure, or any game, so why should srb2? Doesn’t that reduce the benefits from experimentation in game design that got us SotN?

I’ve always bristled at the idea that Castlevania and Mega Man are the same genre, because that usually means the blanket term of simply referring to them as “action games” when, like, 75% of the games on the market today contain “action.”

(Then there are the psychopaths who put Mega Man in the genre of “platformer,” and that’s when blood starts coming out of my eyes)

But I digress.

The thing that you’re forgetting in all of this is the drum I’ve been beating this entire time, and that’s the idea of STANDARDS. You’ve heard the term where something “raises the bar,” right? Innovation is not celebrating somebody throwing darts randomly at a bullseye and clapping even when they don’t hit the target.

Everything has to have a logic behind it, and either that logic is good, or it’s bad. And sometimes the logic is so good that it takes the current standard and elevates it to the next level, usually by improving on a core fundamental of the game design so much that all games to follow in its wake adopt the changes as part of the expected set of features that game has.

So you have Castlevania and Mega Man, as you say, right? They’re both “action games” but in the most granular terms possible, they are almost their own genres. Castlevania is a hyper-difficult gothic horror melee attack game, and Mega Man is a futuristic cartoon shooter with permanent upgrades.

As such, neither really has a baring on the other. What Castlevania does largely does not effect Mega Man, because Mega Man is not a hyper-difficult gothic horror melee attack game, and vice-versa, Castlevania is not a futuristic cartoon shooter with permanent upgrades. Both games have different vibes, both games have different goals, both games have different structures. They aren’t the same thing and therefore do not influence each other.

They are their own standards, essentially. So you have Mega Man 2, and some people say that’s the best Mega Man, so it’s the standard that all other Mega Man games are judged against. There is a wider action game standard, too, but it’s broader and more complex to define, so it’s easier to focus on something as simple as games in the “futuristic cartoon shooter with permanent upgrades“ sub-sub genre.

The thing to keep in mind about Sonic Robo-Blast 2, is that:

It’s a fangame that’s part of a long-established franchise where the core genre is sort of a platformer/racing game hybrid.

SRB2 has been in development for over twenty years, and if you’ve been following it for the project’s entire lifespan (as I have) you’ve seen exactly what it’s going for (which is to say: it’s the sequel to Sonic Robo-Blast 1, a pure platformer)

We also know what features were available in prior versions of the game (proper analog controls that did not require mouse aiming, and even a homing attack like the Sonic Adventure games had).

These three things influence how we judge the logic behind what version 2.2 has done. We can also use this information to compare it directly to games that are its peers – namely, other cartoony 3D platformers, and other Sonic games.

SRB2 version 2.2 implements its mouse-aim-focused controls because it is built on top of the Doom Engine, particularly the Doom Legacy fork. SRB2 has long fought to build a proper 3D platformer out of the Doom Engine. Every major version of the game moves it closer to this goal, with a third person camera, layered vertically-oriented level design, and moving platforms.

But for more than half of its development, a very popular feature for SRB2 has been its “Match” (Deathmatch) mode, which throws all the platformer stuff out the window and brings SRB2 back to the its roots in the Doom engine, with “guns” (weaponized rings) that can be shot at opponents in tight, looping arenas.

And because it’s basically Doom, it helps to play it like a shooter: WASD for strafing, mouse for aiming. The most hardcore SRB2 players even play in first-person, just like Doom. For them, it’s almost not even a Sonic game anymore, it’s just Doom with different weapons and more colorful maps. This, even though deathmatch didn’t get added until three years after SRB2 entered development.

As the game wore on, the old developers slowly left to go live normal lives and new developers were brought in to fill the gaps, some (or even most) of which were the types to play lots and lots of SRB2 deathmatch. They played so much deathmatch that they decided that playing SRB2 like a standard platformer was worse than playing SRB2 like it was a shooter, so they opted to make SRB2 play more like Doom, because that’s what they like.

Except it doesn’t need to. SRB2 is still structured and designed like a platformer. Nothing in the single player campaign explicitly requires you to circle strafe, even though the tutorial makes you practice doing so. The game’s own design is fighting itself, and the people who just want “Doom with different weapons and colorful maps” are winning. It’s making for a worse product to the people who have never touched SRB2′s deathmatch, or plan to touch deathmatch.

It’s their game. They can do whatever they want with it. They can take what SRB2 was and change that, if it strikes their fancy. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it, and it doesn’t mean I’ve given up the right to complain about it. I cared enough about SRB2 that pieces of my artistic DNA are still in that game to this very day. I’m allowed to have an opinion on it.

And that opinion is: it doesn’t want to play like a 3D platformer anymore. It ignores 20 years of analog control standardization and tells you to play a platformer like a third person shooter. It offers a kludgy justification for it by breaking established rules of how 3D platformers work – rules that, might I add, were not broken by previous versions of SRB2.

When Mario does a long jump in Super Mario 64, he jumps in the direction that he’s facing. When Banjo and Kazooie do a Beak Barge, they shoot forward in the direction they’re facing. When Jak & Daxter do an uppercut, they do it in the direction they’re facing. When Spyro does a headbutt, he does it in the direction he’s facing. When Sonic spindashes in Sonic Adventure, he shoots off in the direction he’s facing. When Sonic boosts in Sonic Generations, he boosts in the direction he’s facing. Nobody EVER shoots off EXCLUSIVELY IN THE DIRECTION OF THE CAMERA unless they are holding and shooting a gun, like Ratchet in Ratchet & Clank. But even then, the moment you stop aiming? All of Ratchet’s moves go in the same direction that he’s facing.

I really cannot make this any clearer than that.

#questions #sonic robo-blast 2 #srb2 #sonic team jr.#sonic the hedgehog #Anonymous

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theguia · 4 years

Text

Blog Entry #3: A New Perspective

The Hate U Give (2018)

The Hate U Give or better known as T.H.U.G. is a reference to Tupac Shakur’s T.H.U.G. L.I.F.E. movement. It protested the unfair treatment of colored people in the realm of law enforcement. Tupac became the embodiment of resistance against abusive law enforcers, suffering the consequences in the end. Both from the authorities, and his own community. In today’s terms, it could be equated to the Black Lives Matter movement.

The book by Angie Thomas revolves around Starr Carter, who’s living in two worlds and constantly switching between them. Her first one, the poor, African-American dominated neighborhood where she lives. And the wealthy, mostly white prep school that she attends. She finds it difficult to balance between these two realms. To add insult to injury, the scale is tipped when she witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend at the hands of a police officer. Starr faces pressure from both sides of the community and must find a voice and decide to stand up for what is right.

The Hate U Give is a good example of an adaptation that is not unfaithful, but still mirrors its original source material. With that, a few changes are inevitable. As it’s author, Angie Thomas, told Entertainment Weekly,

“I remind my readers that these two are two separate mediums. They share the same DNA and that’s what truly matters.” she explains.

To fit the big screen, George Tillman Jr., the director of the film, tweaked a few points of the story. First, is how the film begins. The film began with a flashback of the family sitting around the table, being taught about what to do when they get stopped by the police. The author, joyously looked at it as a nice coincidence, as the original draft of the book opened with the same scene. Although it didn’t work for them, the film gave it a very important background for the character. It built upon that initial draft, and though it didnt work out for the pages, it certainly did for the film.

Second, is how the absence of a few characters on the big screen didn’t really affect the overall story. Unlike the book, a film does not have forever to elaborate on every single character involved in the story. However, Tillman and Thomas (director and author) both found common ground in this subject. Omitting a few characters, but putting the qualities of those people in one or two separate people. Maintaining the setting and storytelling. This is evident in the omission of DeVante, whose journey was a big part of the book. Instead, the writers folded a few of his plot elements into Seven’s (Lamar Johnson) storyline.

Seven (first person from the right) with his siblings.

Third, and last, is the scene’s embodiment of Tupac’s T.H.U.G. L.I.F.E. (The Hate U Give Little Infants, Fucks Everybody) in the book and movie. It shows a distressed Sekani (the youngest of the three) pointing a gun at one of their father’s enemies which was originally not in the book. According to Tillman Jr., the scene was explaining the philosophy of Tupac with a visual effect. Adding that the adaptation is a platform by which the fillm maker and writer can be able to bring more to the table and bring an extra layer.

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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634.

Did you ever pretend you were someone else as a favor for a friend? >> I don’t recall ever doing that.

Do you think men prefer curvy women or skinny women? >> I think men have a variety of preferences, because men are individuals. Also, not all men prefer women in the first place. I can’t believe I’m saying any of this because like. people know this. Why am I wasting my fucking time.

Do you own a water gun? >> No.

What item most embarrasses you to purchase? >> I’m not embarrassed to purchase anything.

Do you know any actual dances or do you just move to the music? >> I don’t know any actual dances, I just freestyle it.

Do you eat pork and beans? >> I’ve done so, but I haven’t had it in a long time.

What is the last thing you refered to as legit? >> I don’t remember.

Or do you think that term is lame? lol >> No, I don’t think it’s “lame”. It’s just a fucking slang term based upon the shortening of a longer word. Christ. (I get peeved really fast about how superior people get about language, and it happens so much on surveys -- in both questions and answers -- that I’m at the end of my rope.)

Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? >> No.

Do you have anything hanging from the ceiling of your room? >> I have these fairy-light type things that suck as actual lighting but are cute enough that I’ve decided to leave them up anyway. They’re nice ambiance at night sometimes, when I don’t need to actually see anything.

The rear view mirror of your car? >> ---

Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents >> ---

which do you prefer, dr or dentist? >> I’d prefer to avoid both.

Do you know which side your appendix is on? >> I don’t remember. Right?

Do you have the fixins in your fridge to make a sandwich? What kind? >> Yep. Turkey and cheese with mustard and slaw. There’s also pickles but we got the spear kind by accident (as opposed to sliced flat) and I never feel like cutting them so I just skip them.

Are any walls of your room blank? >> Nope.

When was the last time you ate fruit? >> I don’t remember.

What color are your favorite shoes? >> ---

If someone was willing to tell your crush you liked them would you let them >> ---

Do you know the zodiac signs of your friends? >> Yeah.

Favorite dog ever, real life and cartoon >> ---

Do you own anything with fur on it? What? >> No.

Do you choose surveys based on their titles? >> No, I choose them based on the questions. Although sometimes I don’t look at the whole survey and then get stuck with ones that devolve into chaos about halfway down.

Your appendix is on your right side >> Oh, sweet, I was right.

what would be worse for you, unplanned pregnancy or cancer? >> Dude, if I suddenly turned up pregnant, I gotta say that’d be pretty fucking bad -- because, like, how. That’s the kind of divine miracle I really can do without. But to be fair, that can be taken care of a lot easier than cancer can, so...

What was the last thing you made from scratch? >> ---

Do you drink any hot beverages? What? >> Sure. Tea and the occasional quarter-cup of coffee.

Do you put Q-tips in your ear or just round the outside? >> I try to restrict it to the outside.

Have you ever popped another person's zit? >> No. I can’t even fathom wanting to do that. Eugh.

When was the last time you listened to a radio,NOT online? >> When we were in Sparrow’s father’s car.

Do you have any odious chores hanging over your head? >> Not anything odious. I just don’t have the motivation to vacuum, although I should.

What is the last thing you confessed to someone? >> ---

Have you ever told a friend to dump their SO? Did they? >> No.

Name two things you put whipped cream on? >> ---

Who is the last person who saw you with bare feet? >> Myself.

What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else? >> I think most piercings are cool.

Colored tattoos or plain? >> Either.

Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? >> I have, but I’m not inclined to do that these days.

Do you know how to ride a bike? Do you own one? >> Yes and yes. Do I ever actually ride it? Heh...

What was the last pill you took for? >> It’s CBD oil. Just trying to help my brain out any way I can.

How many devices do you own that hook up to internet? >> Personally, three. Collectively, we have like 9.

Any best friends you only know online? >> What friends I have are online friends.

Do you ever talk to your next door neighbor? >> No. My sole communication with them is to bang on the wall when they’re being too fucking loud.

Do most of your friends live in houses, apartments or mobiles? >> ---

Did anything shock you today? >> No.

What is the thing you last stubbed your toe on? >> I don’t remember.

Favorite faux curse word >> It was always “shiitake mushrooms”, since like middle school.

Who do you tease most often and what about? >> Sparrow, just about random shit.

slip on or lace up shoes? >> Slip-on.

Thing you stress over most about the holidays >> I don’t stress about the holidays. I have nothing to stress over since I refuse to let people put stupid obligations on me.

Food you take a second helping of on Thanksgiving? >> Stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Would you rather spend Thanksgiving with friends or family? >> ---

Most disgusting bug >> Bedbugs, natch.

nastiest thing in your fridge >> I have no idea and at this moment I really don’t want to know. Hopefully nothing.

song you hate but keep singing anyway >> ---

cookies or brownies >> Cookies.

Do you own any movie soundtracks? Which? >> No.

How many pillows do you sleep with? >> Two.

Favorite outdoors smell >> Never really thought about it.

are you wearing a hoodie right now? >> No.

Do you ever sleep in your day clothes? >> I wear the same kinds of clothes to walk around the house as I do to sleep, so, yes.

Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? >> I used to prefer them close-fitting but my body issues push me towards looser-fitting clothes these days. I still have close-fitting clothes like jeans, but, you know. It’s a struggle.

Are your fave pants jeans? >> No.

Do you own any under things bought to impress the opposite sex? >> No. My underwear aren’t to impress anyone, they’re just the kind that fit me best.

Favorite thing you've ever painted >> ---

Do you eat applesauce? >> Yep, I love applesauce.

Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? >> ---

If you had a sister, would you prefer her older or younger? Why? >> ---

What is something you wanted to say today, but didnt? >> ---

What is the stupidest nick name you ever heard? >> ---

Where are your keys right now? >> Hanging on the key thing by the door. It says “REDRUM” on it, lol.

Is there any product you always buy at the dollar store? >> No.

Can you recite any prayers by heart? >> Yeah, because I grew up having to say it.

When it's your birthday, do you have the correct number of candles? >> ---

birthday cake alone, or cake and ice cream? >> I usually don’t eat birthday cake at all.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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rint4rous · 5 years

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meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

#karmelle #j writes karmelle

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himenation · 6 years

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THE GAZETTE - FALLING PV (THEORY)

Ive watched this PV a lot and Ive noticed a lot of things. I did mention a few in my ninth theory of 6 months ago here

So in short. NINTH is confirmed to be a rebirth and having a connection with previous releases (Ruki said this on twitter). I also made this thread on twitter and I got a lot of notifcations, so im making a post now too ^^

Up to the MV

But what does the car mean? Let me start of this because this is quite important. The car represents Gazette. The MV starts of with two people going inside the car. These people are representing the past and the future, which you will read about later. Both of them are riding a road (The Road of Nameless Liberty Six Guns) PV The PV starts of with a guy writing FATE on his chest. Since the album is about rebirth/past+present, I suppose this refers back to DEUX. But why? DEUX is about having two personalities! One that wants to do something and the other one holding you back. I will let you guys pick which one is the past and which one is the present.

So who is the past and who is the present?

This guy, right here, represents their past. Theyre still hiding in their past and dont want to leave. So we can now assume, the girl is the future/present. You will also see a lot of blood in this MV, on MONEY/POSTERS or the MIRROR. The Blood also represents their past. Why is the past the blood? Because blood will never leave you.

The women is trying to ‘’kill’’ the past so they can have a new future. But, as the lyrics say, ‘’in order to be reborn you have to fall’’ Also the door number is 5 = 5 gazette members

You occasionally see the ‘’past’’ smiling at the ‘’past’’ (guy).

At one point the girl (present) is trying to kill a man. To me that man looks very similair to the guy in FITB (their past). She looks back and she sees a poster of herself (the future) having a choice? Will see kill the past? Will she let him live? Well spoiler alert, she kills him.

After this scene the guy is trying to clean his mirror (his past), did he do this to save his past? The guy then has bloody hands, because whatever happends. The past and future will forever be connected.

After the girl murders the man, it drives the man crazy. Which makes him take medicines.

To be very honest, I think this guy is also depressed/sad. His room is messy, he is taking drugs and obvisouly looks disturbed (I dont want to offend anyone!!) But this is very important.

Surprisingly, the guy and the girl both talked on the phone and I think both wanted to kill the past and thats what is driving the man crazy. He is killing himself.

Past and present both meet. The present is bloody because the past (blood) will never leave her alone.

Then we see this scene? So let me finally explain the colors in this mv. This MV is very blue, but mostly red. Blue means sadness/depression, and who is sad? Yes the guy? And its a ‘coincidence’ all his scenes are blue, right? Red means passion, desire, lust, guilt. Red is guilty of killing the past and has a desire to go on with life.

But what is Ruki doing in the middle? If you didnt notice, Ruki is wearing purple. How do you get purple? By combining Blue and Red. But what does purple mean? Purple means the stability of the blue color and the energy of the red. The stability of the past, because past gazette made Gazette very big (go back to Nil and stuff) and the present is to finally go to a different route. But both Blue and Purple made Gazette what they are today. Thus, Ruki is representing Gazette. The reason why the MV is so red because its the future.

Also Ruki has only worn velvet suits twice: in Derangement (Division) and Inside Beast (Beautiful Deformity). Why are these albums also so important? In DIVISION they wanted to SPLIT GAZETTE and their way of style. Beautiful Deformity was (supposed to be) like NIL and STACKED RUBBISH and represented Gazette.

The past (blood) cant seem to leave them alone? The past (the guy) is destroying himself and the present (girl) is done and takes him somewhere.

Then we see this scene! Ruki (Gazette) is cleaning the mirror which is covered with blood (past). Ruki wants to move on and thats why he is cleaning his past.

Both past and present then head off on the road (The road of nameless liberty). Meanwhile the past (the guy) is driving crazy, the present (girl) is very smiley.

And finally both decide to slip. Ruki also sings in the chorus ‘’in order to be reborn you have to fall’’. Gazette is not choosing the past nor the present, theyre choosing to be reborn instead.

And then the mirror is finally clean. Ruki (Gazette) is seeing himself (reflecting) and the past is gone too.

Eventually neither the past nor the present died. Only the car (the gazette) died.

Gazette is about to reborn, guysss

And that is my theory! What do you guys think :)

#the gazette #gazette #the ninth #ninth #falling mv #falling #aoi #reita #uruha #ruki #kai

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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 9 | I’d Rather Make Moves When I Need To - Emma

Okay, I am so sad Brandi is gone, but at the same time, it's not the worst thing for my game. The good part of it is that we tried to make a move on Emma, we flushed an idol, and we weren't detected. I think this twist is actually super helpful in these moments because if you try something, and it fails, no one knows unless it gets leaked.

Another good thing is that Taylor's closest ally is now gone. I know that Taylor is super close with Ari, which is good, but I also want her to be super close with me. Not just for strategy reasons. She's also super cool and I like talking to her! Apparently she did tell JABARI of all people the vote was on Emma, so no wonder they knew how to idol tonight lmao.

Idk I feel pretty okay about my position in the game playing the middle rn I just need to not spread myself too thin and keep the targets in front of me.

Soooo Tribal went off without a single hitch. brandi went home despite playing both of her advantages and Jacob wasn’t even near getting voted out. The main clownery of the night happened right after tribal. Ali started going on about how he felt like Brandi didn’t deserve to go home, when there were people currently in the game who didn’t care. If you think she deserved to stay, maybe you should’ve given her your immunity? Or better yet, volunteered to go home? And while we’re on the topic of who cares, haven’t you either flopped in or just not submitted in multiple challenges? Since I was still on the tribal call, I asked him who he was talking about, even though I kind of had a good idea of who it was already. He said Emma. and since Emma wasn’t there, we are aligned, and I know she was going through some things, I felt the need to stick up for her. I found it pretty disrespectful that Ali would say that so it did make me a bit mad. I of course alerted Emma right after it happened because I feel like she deserve to know, and she confronted Ali about it in the call after tribal. I’m sure everyone knows Emma and I are working together now, but I couldn’t let her be dragged through the mud like that. I’m really worried Ali and Taylor, who I know are aligned, will try to target me now. I understand where Ali was coming from though. I’m also a person who is driven by my emotions and I tend to say stuff without thinking about it first.

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WELL all things considered that vote went pretty alright! i didn't manage to mist emma into using an idol for jacob so they could get blindsided, but other than that, things worked out pretty much how i hoped. jacob was saved, an idol (and lots of money) was flushed, and i can plausibly tell both sides that i voted with them even tho actually i voted ali for insurance purposes >:~) also we got major info about the location of the other idol when brandi didn't play it and it didn't go back into the shop, i.e. jabari MUST have it because there's no other possible place it could be. i know none of my people have it, and nic was so convinced that me/jacob did that i have to believe none of that group have it either, which leaves little old jabari who's been asking soooo many questions about everyone's funds and where items could possibly be. color me a little shocked but honestly kudos to her! now she gets to stay alive another round since that gun is an idol again.

other shop updates are that taylor's gonna buy something next round and so is dan probably, which will be great for getting them out of other people's hands and knowing for sure where they are. i can't believe i own shares in 2 of the 3 items currently in the game, how cute of me honestly. everyone else is now broke so that's delightful, i prob should've extorted myself for even more money so they'd think i was fully broke too but ah well what can you do.

i am a little worried about how ali's antics last night could potentially reflect back on me this round but i think i've done a pretty good job of covering my tracks there - i talked to both nic and emma immediately after and was like yeah i don't condone that behavior, and josh knows i wanted ali out over jacob because i got him to throw a vote that way with me, and obviously none of taylor/dan/jacob are gonna let me get targeted for that either sooooo i think i'm all good. once again, jabari is a wild card but i think i trust her a little more after my call with her yesterday and i don't think she would have the pull to do anything anyway.

so at last i can have a day of peaceful rest while i await these awful touchy subjects results! me taylor and ali are making a music video so that'll keep me busy for a while. overall feeling very grateful and blessed to not be stressed at this current moment in time!!!

Not mr ali making me regret voting off brandi out should of been ali oh well no point in voting him out now tbh that would be a waste things i think are slowly getting better for me i am talking to jacob and ari more idk how to approach taylor because ik we on different sides but ik we may or may not need eachother soon i feel so bad about brandi she was probably the nicest person here i said this about megs but brandi for second chances.. Yeah i just need to think of something that will seperate my gameplay from josh and nic if im stuck with them eventually that means i could get myself voted off its hard to like make moves rn but i rather make moves when i need to make moves.

also maybe ali should of put his immunity on brandi and not ari >:)

i also hope i break the record for most wasted idols im coming for that record im also so nervous about the future of the game i dont wanna just follow ppl around but like i kinda fucked myself over due to reasons out of my control oop

I just sent my nightly hellos to people and that’s already too much social interaction for me

I’m already fricken paranoid about this round and we haven’t even gotten immunity results ugh. I think it’s because I know I flipped that mastermind comp. like I really could have done much better than I did.

Additionally everyone was so quiet today so I’m just assuming everyone hates me and wants me to die.

am i playing a good utr game or do people just forget i exist? i've got a lot of good (but conflicting) info from Dan and Taylor and I want to sit down and compare notes with Ari BUT WHERE ARE THEY you can't expect me to remember all this by tomorrow. I feel like I have somewhat of a good relationship with everyone aside from Ali and Jabari and I feel like I've gotten a few info that I find personally relevant moving forward but I need someone to compare this with. I think I'm playing a much more smarter game than before.

[Tumblr Survivor Riau reference] I feel like I was in a position like this before where I had the opportunity to play a good game being in the middle but fucked it up and sent one of my allies home because I was vetoed by my actual alliance [end Tumblr Survivor reference] so I'm doing the same thing this time around but keeping my sources a secret. The only person I am 100% honest is Ari and I hope it's mutual. I obviously can't take Ari with me to FTC but what I need the most are honest opinions and legit information and i think both of us are providing just that with each other.

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ali needs to stop saying dumb shit to nic because it ALWAYS gets back to dan and i have to be like "omg lol im sure he didnt mean that" while running to ali and being like "hushhhhhh"

anyway i think the best thing i can do today is sit back and let everyone else tire themselves out scrambling and stressing!! it'll all resolve itself eventually and if it doesnt then oh well

I wasn't going to be making a confessional because I didn't wanna get an OTTN5 edit and also I felt like it was obvious I was going home and I had nothing to really say. There is a tiny bit of hope now, and it lies with Jabari and Dan. If everyone is telling me the truth, I will be staying. And if I do, I'd love to create a 5-person majority alliance with me, Dan, Jabari, Emma, and Josh. It'd honestly be perfect. I really like them all and am comfortable with them all.

If I go home, I wont be mad or anything, I'll just be sad that I didn't really come across the way I had hoped to in this ORG. I feel like a lot of things didn't come across correctly, and a lot of things were just pinned on me that were outside of my control.

Oh well. Let me remain positive. This is me being positive :] (Also I'm forever thankful for having Josh and Emma as allies without them I would've gone crazy by now. Thank you for everything you do.)

Power Rankings: ONE - DAN (+2) Threat: 8 (+2) Trust: 8 (+3) Dan’s at the top of the rankings this week because he’s in the position that I wish I were in. Despite losing Brandi, who was Dan’s #1 idled out by the minority alliance, he still was approached by the minority to vote with them. He knows each plan and he can decide whether he wants to flip or not. He decides who goes home this round. TWO - ARI (-1) Threat: 10 (+1) Trust: 9 (+1) Ari ranks #2 because they know everything that’s going on and they know it first. They’re the first to hear about any messiness or change to a plan. They aren’t included in it necessarily, but they hear about it. Ari’s threat level though is through the roof and hiding behind them as a meat shield is going to be key for my game. They should want to take a shot at Ari before me, and I plan to keep it that way. THREE - TAYLOR (-1) Threat: 7 (NC) Im starting to lose grasp and hold on my power as more of my allies leave. If the minority perception and gameplay wasn’t so awful I would have a lot more control over what goes on this round. Its just bad survivor gameplay to assume someone would never work with you because you voted their allies out. Because what they fail to see is that regardless of if im included in their plans or not, I still find out. I had 3 different people approach me that me name was out as I woke up at 9am this morning. It shows I have control, I just wish they’d include me so I had the power to deal with it rather than relying on others. FOUR - JABARI (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 2 (-2) Jabari is here because she seems to want to give the minority.a chance. I don’t really understand her logic because regardless she’s at the bottom of an alliance. The one round where the majority wanted to count on her to prove she’s with us, she jumps. And she doesn’t even know that she’s completely fucking her game because of it. On top of that every suspects she has an idol. She only ranks 4 because of the information she is receiving, but she’s no threat because her gameplay is poor and everyone believes the rumour of her having an idol. FIVE - JACOB (+1) Threat: 7 (+1) Trust: 8 (NC) Jacob does know what each side is going to do, but unfortunately hes always the last to find out. Im not sure if its because of how late he sleeps in, or if hes everyones last resort but either way it’s not good for his power ranking. Jacob’s smart, hes going to be seen as an immunity threat sooner rather than later. SIX - NIC (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 0 (NC) Nic is in 6th because hes the only one trying to steer a vote on the other side. He isn’t doing it successfully, but hes trying. If only he could put as much effort into challenges and he would trying to get people to save him. I dont trust him at all, he threw my name out. He has a little influence over Jabari, but that’s not too big of a success. SEVEN - ALI (-2)  Threat: 1 (-2) Trust: 9 (-1) Ali unfortunately just doesn’t have the power he needs to get himself out of situations like he is in this round. When the name was between Ali and I it should have easily landed on me. But Ali doesn’t have the social capital that I do, which is why I had multiple people tell that side “lets do Ali over Taylor”. Not to mention Ali made a hugeeee mistake buying the dress for literally no reason. But I trust him I guess? EIGHT - JOSH (NC) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 5 (+2) Im starting to see a little fire with josh come out this round and im happy. Hes not willing to do anything about it, but the gears are turning in his head. I think our relationship will be important down the line but as of now he has no power and just follows everything Nic says. NINE - EMMA (NC) Threat: 0 (NC) Trust: 0 (NC) I literally don’t have anything to say about Emma. She doesn’t talk, doesn’t do the challenge, doesn’t care. Not worth my time.

I feel like im not winning this game unless if nic goes and josh goes right after idk im feeling a bit bad how im playing i was planning to go balls to the wall but like i find it really hard to do that when i am a known goat for something i could not control i try hard to change what people to see but idk how to do it anymore im totally not gonna stab josh and nic in the back at this point i just cant write their names down.

This vote is for all of the victims of the people that nic has voted off, nic is going home I know of it. All he's been doing has been working against me and for that ciao Bella

GOD. What a day. I was pulled back and forth about this vote by both sides and this vote.

Ari/Jacob/Ali/Taylor want me to vote Nic Jabari/Nic/Josh/Emma want me to vote Ali

Neither option is ✨great✨ for my game. But we can’t vote out Jabari for personal reasons so here we are.

I’m worried about idols and such, but at the end of the day, I can’t get too in my head. If the idol comes out as long as they don’t end up voting for me instead of Ali... we’re good!

I’m voting for Nic because I don’t fuck with people who try to make you feel like you’re gonna lose if you don’t roll with them. Even on OG Pearl he didn’t take a ton of time to get to know me and even now all he wants to do is talk game. In comparison, TSL has known me two rounds and I know so much about her.

Obviously voting out ANOTHER OG Pearl probably isn’t wise, but at the end of the day, New Pearl and OG Beeho seem to be the people I bond with the most and trust the most. And I might be dumb, but I am enjoying their company and would be proud losing to any of them.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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neuropathicgypsy · 6 years

Text

More knocking today

Two different people.i figured out they were messing with the air conditioner.

The dude just here said he couldn't budge it. It was jammed stuck in there

Since Gordito was warning me that he was going to kill me, I assume he was a big strong guy cause Gordito says he was all fired up.

So the next guy down the row is all "I send the weaker guys do and i tell them if they can't do it I'll do it myself and beat them in the ass, too"

So I had 15 minutes to move the air conditioner, by myself because that's what I have to do because I'm an adult.

So this dude is all with his hidden camera on my front door and he's all "oh my God my guy said he could not move that air conditioner and it would not budge for anything and she pulled that out with one arm! One arm! Oh my God, she what she means when she says "bring it" she meant it!!!"

And he's going on and on about my one arm.

I told him "I used two, don't be so dramatic"

But I did. Yesterday my daughter and I brought the wagon full of groceries up the stairs and into the house. I was looking at the goods still in it to see what we could use as weapons... luckiest chance will be he will stop to eat.

Worst case is that I run out of Chips Ahoy cereal and there was only one box so someone has to explain that.

But this dude is all scared now.

Im a very big girl with lots fat on my ass, stomach, thighs and arms oh and my quad chin. But not so far under that is muscle.

It didn't bother me at all to pull it out

Had to move the (unwrapped) presents and Christmas tree so I could fit then I had to pull out the metal machine then the window was stuck and I only had 15 minutes and that 15 can go quick so I was pulling hard as hell to get it straight locked.

He is screaming the whole time with this little electronic gadgets at his side all "oh my God I can't believe she did that! She's all "ic can't move it hurts so bad wah wah and she does this with on hand to the air conditioner"

Genius, radio frequency ablation or not. I'm not fucking gonna sit there with some dude trying to get in the easy way no mother fucker. Hell no that's lazy as fuck. I had to break into my own house because I Locked my keys in. No. You are gonna have a more difficult time to get into my house than I do.

#gofuckyourself

This mother fucker claims to see the light after promising all his little buddies that he's gonna kill me. He's now gonna break all them promises cause for Jesus sakes.

That's cool. I won't hold it against him.

Got all my windows and doors blocked. Break it and get in and you're gonna be all fuck i just rolled into Home Alone 2020.

I am not kidding. Still waiting to make sure that dude is gone and my daughter is breaking bottles in her room. No shit. The Starbucks. thick glass bottles.

It's home alone, man.

Some dude is being paid pennies or promised by a liar as deep as him. Seriously. He balks at me just pulling out the air conditioner. The fuck?

That's nothing.

That promise that so and so is gonna get money if they kill me. It's paperwork that can be overridden by my own or the FBI's. Or jail time. You can't get money if you're hired to murder

Dude is running around with a contract that he's gonna take to a lawyer for a pay out. "Hi, I promised Jesse I would kill sabrina and I did, so where's my money Mr Lawyer?"

I mean I could tell him the lawyer is FBI but then he didn't believe I would defend myself or my daughter alone. By myself. Because that's how I handle things

So at this point. He's either not going to do it cause he's scared or he's gonna be dumb and for real expect some money

Regardless there's a beautiful paper trail. So they may let him think he's gonna get and book a flight to paradise. Actually load the plane and land in paradise for the cops to smile and take him right back on.

Imagine it. All the money you ever dreamed of in your life. Ever. You can own the world. Just kill a fat bitch that's been in bed for two years. Easy. Easy. Moneh. So easy. Mmmm..I can smell the money. Oh yeah. Ohhh rub it on my fat tummy, hide stacks in my fat roll.

Hide that shit and hold up my fat so my back don't have to carry the load and I load up in a crane to get in my private jet.

Paradise. On my way. Staring out the window so so so so happy

I'm on top the world. Nothing gonna stop my smile. A little pain. Just rub a $100 bill on it.. mmmm so so so so good.

Okay so maybe you're not fat. Read it again and add yourself in it. Maybe your dick is so hard you need help to make it look more like "BoxErs' or you're all mmm new titties, stack some money up there and see what I look like STACKED as fuck!!!!

(I seriously got yelled at cause I was for real in the zone. And laughed at. It's ok)

I think you get the picture.

It doesn't matter how much pain I have. The emotional and mental pain will last so much longer than a little back pain added to my already pain. I have alot of pain all the time. I can block it out but it takes alot of energy

Let's #science for a minute. Adrenaline knocks out all pain. You hear all the time people getting shot and not knowing till they see the blood cause they're all amped up.

So to decide to hurt someone who is already in pain #science the person knows what pain is and is in pain constantly so it doesn't matter how much pain someone causes them. Because for them it's nothing.

Let's do a mini study:

You take someone with years of pain

And someone that works out alot so they have some stretchy pain. Sore muscles etc. I get tinnitus like a bitch in both elbows and wrists cause I go all crazy like straight from bed to carrying air conditioners. (That is what happened) but most people that work out regularly have very little pain.

So high pain tolerance vs average pain tolerance

Same as a Snoop Dogg Weed Smoker vs a first timer smoker.

Same as a hot dog eating champion vs someone constantly on a diet.

Same as an alcoholic vs someone never drank but a few sips when they daddy's back turned (in my case my mom's)

So. Seriously. I have a very high pain tolerance

And unfortunately for some (possibly) i did have successful radio frequency ablation. So I'm doing amazing things like standing for 5 whole entire minutes. Yesterday we carried up the wagon full of groceries. Not a shallow Radio Flyer. A deep one. Very deep. I was on the bottom so I had to balance and lift. It was difficult.

Then we reached the top. I couldn't get to the door so I handed my daughter the key. She was messing around laughing all "I tried to use the car key" I had to stop my mouth. It was crazy. I was about to tell her, (because I've been telling her the truth about my pain and so I try to explain to her what's going on so she understands that sometimes I'm not socially normal. And it is okay to be all I have pain. It's not a weakness. Of course tell a hired hit man, that and you gotta haul out an air conditioner which he still insits was with one hand) so my hips you know... I had to settle my body square but realized I was okay and could stand without pain.

Like for real. It was so awesome. I didn't have nay back pain. I felt great. I was gonna tell her "hurry up, my back hurts" but I didn't have to. I didn't need to. Because I had no pain.

Sure I need my pelvis and my neck done but so what. It's actually better in my neck... or was... yesterday wasn't so kind to it.

What was cool was the FBI was surprised and amazed. I'm gonna cry. Because they have been such a huge support for me. My doctor checking on me constantly answering the lamest and most unintelligent questions over and over. He's so kind. The FBI asks questions about the pain I had from the procedures. Asking how to avoid things and how to do others and making sure that I would be pain free. It's amazing. I'm so so lucky they referred me there and I got treatment. It has been a very long process taking 3 months but finally we finished and I'm so lucky

My pain started suddenly. Out of the blue. And just got worse and worse. My regular doctor wouldn't give me stronger pain medication and wouldn't help me. So the FBI did. They would tell me about other people that got it done to help me understand and feel better. It hurt. Alot. Alot alot alot. But they were always there just making sure I was okay. Making sure I wouldn't have problems and my doctor, he would do it on his own because he's awesome but the FBI just dragging him along, what's this and what's that and she feels this and that is that normal? We're lucky he didn't get a restraining order! They sent other guys and girls in the FBI to be treated by my doctor so they knew what was normal in the office and they could see what happens. Of course they double, triple and annoyingly checked. Just for me. I help alot of people.

And today I had 2 different guys try to kill me and the third on the fence. So as you can imagine add in Denise and all the others i complain about, it's quite overwhelming of negativity. Mental and emotional strain and pain. And a heart condition causes physical problems as well.

So I'm not gonna say i couldn't handle it on my own because I made the decision to try it, full throttle all the way. Even if I had to lie --- which I didnt. Thank god it worked. The first day I had pain in my side. I studied it and memorized it to the point I was severely anti social. And after despite insane pain from needles and lidocaine injections and my back already being swollen clear across my entire upper ass region. The pain I studied was gone. I knew for a fact.

But I decided if I had to, I would lie. Because I didn't have a choice. I couldn't walk just to the bathroom sometimes. I can't have back surgery. I'm a mean bitch (they say I just say I'm aomtim bitch but whatever) and I can stand up to billionaires and people trying to kill me, swat teams, guns in front of idiot ass holes, kidnappers. All sorts of the craziest shit that sometimes doesn't even seem real. But I'm scared to death of back surgery. I've heard so many times it doesn't work and just makes shit worse. It's like chemo. Two things I never want to do and may elect not to, even if my life will be over sooner.

I suppose if I got in a fight with some dude trying to kill me, I would end up with needing it. But that's like an award. A battle scar. It's different. It's all yeah I kicked his ass and saved mine. It sounds so fucking awesome to me. It's uplifting because I survived but yeah of course I had to work really really super hard at it because I hurt myself to the point of surgery. So it's like a feeling. God says he's sorry and so he's gonna not let me suffer anymore and allow the surgery to be 100% successful.

I mean at that point. Maybe I need some metal in my back, to deflect bullets and be all bulletproof.

So yeah. I'm not a liar. That's the point. I don't have to lie.

Sometimes being late for work or taking my daughter to work I'll think of all these fantastic lies that I could say to make my being late super important. By the end, i get there and I'm all "Man we were fucking asleep" not fucking tho. Just sleeping. Truth sounds human. Normal. We all fuck up. Sometimes more than enough nut we do and it's better to tell the truth that you were sleeping than to try to keep all your lies straight. Because when your boss wants to fire you and looks at your file and you're all "I over slept so I was an hour late" "I had a hangover and I killed my alarm and didn't know what it was" they're gonna be all... on one hand they're always late on the other hand they're completely honest

So I just tell the truth. What? I fuck up. Punish me if you want but I'm real. I'm a real human being. And I'm not gonna lie to you.

Honesty is so important. My mother is a master we manipulator and brain washer. So fuck it. Be honest

Then you'll have an idiot marvel at how you can move an air conditioner in less than ten seconds that a weight lifter couldn't. I don't have a reason to lie. I don't like lying. I don't mind tricks so much. Like implying I had Matt's baby when really it was my cousin's and it was a girl not a boy. Or implying I was at Matt's hide away house when really i was at my aunt's. Those are different. Sometimes you have ro test the waters. And I Never said a lie. I allowed you to lead yourself to believe something you wanted to believe or not believe if you think I can be yours. And you wanted to have an anger fit. Or be happy for me.

You know, honestly in was wishing. I was wishing that it was true so there was a deep make believe in the story. But it was all make believe which just now that term just totally made a different sense to me. Make believe = believing something someone made you think. I always thought make believe was imagination. Not some twisted Hitler Denise shit. But yeah. That's all Denise. It's horrible. Like finding out a sing along song is about the plague.

I've had a rather shocking day and so has my hit man so I'll be quiet for awhile. See if I can get my dropped jaw to stop letting all the humidity out my mouth.

So Mr Hitman, Reporter fool. If you get bored think about how you will defend yourself against an air conditioner being used as a weapon.... on your drive done to see me.

Or just put yourself to bed. All your friends are in jail. I don't think they will mind that you weaked out and broke your promises to them.

Of course you would probably need to hide from them when they find you chickened out. So then you would need paradise money. But then the FBI is just gonna arrest you if you do or if you dont.

The FBI thinks you should turn yourself in.

I'm not licensed to do this so let's entertain ourselves for a moment before I go:

The Hitman is an adrenaline junkie, he thinks he's strongest and wisest and must send the weaker out before him. And it's true, he did.

Yet he believes what he wants to, mostly lies he tells himself. Like I'm a liar. He's gonna get paid. There's no FBI protecting me.

If I was him and really believe myself but saw the light but still wanted freedom. Personally I would run. No GPS. In woods. Swamps, water. Making myself as cold as possible so the heat lamps wouldn't find me. But I'm a loner and kinda crazy.

So this guy will probably go hide out at a friend's house and then get their house raided so then he has even more enemies.

The FBI tells me he has no way out and he should turn himself in.

So that or go Rambo.

I guess go to the Casino, try that fantasy on the plane trick, if you can win.

I guess also, if it were me. I would go all out. Night on the town like you wouldn't believe. Remember when you get arrested that's the shit you leave jail in. If you get that opportunity. So definitely arrest me in heels and the most sparkled soft beautiful dress you can imagine. So when I finally get out. I look like a Million bucks. So that my outside space resembles my inside space. That final freedom.

Then pick up where I left off that night I got arrested. Out. Drinking. Smoking. Fucking. Whatever i want as my last harrauh.

If you turn yourself in then you still can dress it up. Maybe something a little tight you haven't worn on awhile cause you plan to do them push ups all kinds while in the pen. So when you get out its it's a double celebration.

Anyways. That's me. Either I'm all Rambo style in the mud in the dead of winter or I'm in a ball gown. It's so difficult to decide.

Ball gown is so much calmer. Plus after getting out Rambo clothes are gonna be dirty. They don't let you wash them before you go home. So.

I would probably ask for 5 hours on the town and then arrest me.. me. You would have to arrest, I'll be honest. Fuck that turning myself in bullshit. Yet on the other hand, cops are less rough when you're all "okay. I know it's time. Hi"

And the cops they laugh cause they're so surprised. They're all the fuck?? You make their day. And even if your day sucks for you, it's a nice feeling to make someone else's a little awesome.

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