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#trying to come to terms with the fact we'll never see them all together again
astonmartinii · 7 months
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honey, honey [mamma mia part three] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & jenson button
mamma mia | no more ace to play | masterlist | tips
yourusername
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liked by jensonbutton, charles_leclerc and 1,098,455 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel & jensonbutton
yourusername: little chick is finally showing and these old men are still obsessed with cars even though i'm RIGHT THERE !!
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user1: oh to be the one receiving those photos of fernando
user2: yeah yeah they're having a kid BUT the sheer amount of seb + fernando + jenson content we're gonna get
fernandoalo_oficial: so you go to goodwood with them but don't come to my race :(
yourusername: babe they outnumbered you but we'll be there in canada !!
jensonbutton: sorry some of us didn't choose to be a fossil in an f1 car. just hurry up and retire
yourusername: woah woah, let nando have his lil hobby
fernandoalo_oficial: y/n tell him he can't call me old
yourusername: jenson, fernando isn't a fossil, you know we prefer the term precious artefact, please apologise
jensonbutton: i'm sorry???
user3: omg this is going so fast
danielricciardo: ahhhh y/n is showing !! this is so exciting
sebastianvettel: chickie is the size of a lemon i think
danielricciardo: and you'll all be in canada?
yourusername: yes! i can't wait to meet all of you
danielricciardo: *can't wait to meet chickie's god father
fernandoalo_oficial: daniel you know we haven't decided that yet
jensonbutton: also i've partied with you, why do you think i'd trust you with my kid?
danielricciardo: ummm every child is entitled to a fun uncle ??
user4: i am once again stating how fucking obsessed i am with this set up
yourusername
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liked by mickschumacher, jensonbutton and 1,298,450 others
yourusername: my personal favourite snippets of the god father applications. not sure it really made me trust any of them any more than before.
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user5: i was not expecting to actually see the applications but they defo didn't disappoint
maxverstappen1: ummmmm @charles_leclerc what do you mean? you are the instigator YOU pushed me into that puddle
charles_leclerc: it's okay max get it out (@sebastianvettel @fernandoalo_oficial @jensonbutton see how i am able to de- escalate this situation)
maxverstappen1: try and de-escalate this foot up your literal ass
charles_leclerc: i will put you in time out (i.e. watch your ass going into turn one)
yourusername: you guys realise this is not helping the application right?
maxverstappen1: nuh uh who wouldn't want a world champion as a god father
charles_leclerc: low blow verstappen
yourusername: girlies chickie has dads with seven championships between them so i really don't think she'll be impressed by two
user6: i'm sorry but roscoe hamilton as the reference is killing me
user7: full government name and everything
sebastianvettel: you guys laughed at me but this has amused me to no end
yourusername: you're a genius and i love you for this
user8: L BOMB?
jensonbutton: i take back calling the idea dumb, you were right :(
sebastianvettel: oh how the tables have turned
fernandoalo_oficial: can we all just agree that we never thought those dumbasses would actually fill one in?
yourusername: it makes me even more excited to meet them
jensonbutton: trust me the charm wears off real quick
user9: the way kimi wrote nothing and will probably end up being the god father anyway
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jensonbutton
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, alexalbon and 832,087 others
tagged: yourusername
jensonbutton: best thing about pregnancy cravings is i have an excuse to use seb's insane car collection and brush up on my french
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user13: on dad duty with the dad angle he's ready
user14: honestly my heart is so warm over the fact that they've all embraced the situation
user15: girl we saw jenson and nando at mclaren together ... it's been coming
user16: oh and that one podium with jenson and seb they just need a girl they all liked to get their shit together and that's the most them thing ever
sebastianvettel: a man goes to one meeting and suddenly julie is being taken on grocery runs
jensonbutton: y/n wanted bagels so ?
sebastianvettel: i know we're having an actual kid but be careful with my mechanical kids as well
jensonbutton: do you forget i'm literally a driver too honey
yourusername: thanks for the bagel baby bagel dates 4 ever
fernandoalo_oficial: cream cheese and salmon WITHOUT ME?
yourusername: we put it in the fridge for when you get home :(
fernandoalo_oficial: awwwww really ???
yourusername: we love you (but also you can't eat soft cheese or raw fish while pregnant)
fernandoalo_oficial: it's the thought that counts?
user17: god this looks like domestic bliss, how does one come about three men to have a kid with in the swiss mountains?
yourusername: honestly i'm so lucky
sebastianvettel: we're luckier
jensonbutton: we're luckier
fernandoalo_oficial: we're luckier
yourusername: fucking hormones are making me ball my eyes out
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f1
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liked by estebanocon, yourusername and 1,239,086 others
f1: category is ... baby presents !! y/n y/ln made her paddock debut with sebastian vettel and jenson button to support fernando alonso 💚
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user21: omg seb in his aston martin gear to support nando
user22: imagine showing this to someone in 2010 i think they would have a heart attack
danielricciardo: i had the best present ever god father is in the bag
charles_leclerc: i read your application there's no way, plus seb loves ferrari so my gift will be the best
mickschumacher: lets be real my application was the best
estebanocon: eh i think kimi's was the best
mickschumacher: he literally wrote nothing ????
estebanocon: and yet he outdid all of yall... embarrassing for some
user23: i feel like this fight to be god father is gonna end with a fist fight in the parking lot
yourusername: and i'll be there with my popcorn
sebastianvettel: maybe let's not encourage fighting
yourusername: why not, these squabbles over being in charge if all FOUR of chickie's parents die are the most entertaining thing in the world to me
jensonbutton: lets halt it on the fighting and dying talk okay (i will also be front row to watch these morons fight)
maxverstappen1: if it's a fist fight clear win for me imo
fernandoalo_oficial: how did we get here (i will referee)
danielricciardo: respectfully maxy, i will beat your ass
maxverstappen1: NUH UH
kimiraikkonen: i'm winning no question
sebastianvettel: now that i agree with
yourusername: i thought you were against fighting?
sebastianvettel: i guess it would be kind of funny (especially because any physical violence is an immediate red flag)
user24: okay but can someone actually let us know who got what cause i know these men probably got the dumbest shit that can never actually be used by a child
user25: there's a thread on twitter!
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fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 934,045 others
fernandoalo_oficial: old man still got it 👍 thank you to the team for your help, needed to impress y/n with my day job x
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user27: impending fatherhood got nando looking like he can make it an eight championship house
sebastianvettel: @yourusername he's good but i was better
jensonbutton: @yourusername and i was even better x
fernandoalo_oficial: ummm this is literally my post about MY podium?
sebastianvettel: i would've won but that's just me 😬
fernandoalo_oficial: 2013 called and it wants your attitude back 🤨
jensonbutton: it's been ten years guys... (i would've also won)
sebastianvettel: well my trophy cabinet is the fullest so chickie will know who was the best by that :)
yourusername: the sexual tension is killing me, how did yall not shag back in 2010?
jensonbutton: too busy winning and being sluts elsewhere x
maxverstappen1: yall claim you would've won? yall wouldn't get close to me sorry not sorry
sebastianvettel: oh look who's out of the running for god father
maxverstappen1: NO I TAKE IT BACK
yourusername: don't worry maxy, he's joking the bee keeping suit went down VERY WELL
charles_leclerc: he's such a cheat i didn't even know they existed :(
maxverstappen1: you snooze you loose
yourusername: @charles_leclerc i'm craving pasta, i heard it's good in the ferrari hospitality
charles_leclerc: on it 🫡
fernandoalo_oficial: so is no one going to congratulate me?
yourusername: CONGRATS BUB! turns out you ARE great at your day job (and very sexy drenched in champagne)
sebastianvettel: i agree
jensonbutton: i agree
yourusername: once again how did yall make it through the 2010s
user28: i'm trying not to be weird about this but i know their sex life must be crazy
yourusername
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liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 1,403,677 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial
yourusername: baby's first f1 weekend and daddy nando did not disappoint (neither did the grid, yall are so generous thank you)
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user29: i am so unwell this is all so cute i might die
fernandoalo_oficial: i would get any shit box on the podium for you guys
yourusername: NO BRAKES! NO TYRES! OUT OF THE POINTS!
jensonbutton: babe that was over five years ago...
yourusername: ummmm i'm doing my research on your careers? i'd never watched f1 i needed to catch up
sebastianvettel: who showed you this?
yourusername: oscar and lando said they'd give me a quick fire history lesson
fernandoalo_oficial: @oscarpiastri @landonorris i've won 32 races and you show y/n that?
landonorris: funny?
oscarpiastri: we also showed her multi 21, sorry not sorry seb
sebastianvettel: not my four championships?
oscarpiastri: justice for my manager
user30: obsessed with how y/n can watch old races and most of the time one of her bfs win 😭
alexalbon: so great to finally meet you! the albon pets hope it's a girl!
yourusername: don't tell them i told you this but me too
jensonbutton: we can literally all see this?
yourusername: you guys would be such girl dads lets be real
user31: potential girl dad seb, jenson and fernando DO NOT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME
user32: do NOT let seb name them he's already used all of the good bond girl names
sebastianvettel: i'll have you know kinky kylie is a top tier name
yourusername: for a car. do not suggest any names affiliated with any spy films
sebastianvettel
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liked by astonmartinf1, mickschumacher and 1,459,832 others
tagged: yourusername, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial
sebastianvettel: thought i'd have a quiet life after retirement, i thought wrong
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user33: the BEAR ???
user34: what if i die so i can be reincarnated as the f1 baby
jensonbutton: always arguing over who is the best driver but yet i am always designated driver ... makes you think
sebastianvettel: you're the one who pulls the "i'm the oldest" card ... makes you think
fernandoalo_oficial: only one of us is still racing ... makes you think
yourusername: someone is waiting to go to bed but some people are arguing in the comment section ... makes you think
user35: this kid is going to have the most entertaining childhood ever...
yourusername: @fernandoalo_oficial retire so you can join the crochet club
fernandoalo_oficial: no can do i need to bring home the bacon (and beat lewis)
lewishamilton: why am i catching strays? can i join the crochet club instead of fernando?
yourusername: it's strictly bring your own yarn and real housewives only
lewishamilton: make it beverly hills and i'm there
fernandoalo_oficial: ummmmm ??? @mercedesamgf1 ur driver is retiring you heard it hear first
yourusername: you guys gonna beef over crochet as well?
fernandoalo_oficial: yes.
lewishamilton: yes.
jensonbutton: okay nando you're the only one we're waiting for, we're debating god fathers
fernandoalo_oficial: one sec my pr team called me, turns out you can't make up a rumour that lewis hamilton is retiring, who knew?
maxverstappen1: VOTE FOR ME PLEASE
charles_leclerc: you've won enough this season, let me have this one
mickschumacher: i'll bring breakfast in the morning for three votes at least
yourusername: do NOT try and bribe the jury.
note: PART THREE! okay so it's finally here and i hope it's what you guys were looking for... the race for god father is heating up and the name arguments are only just starting... i am enjoying the pregnancy content but i'm excited for baby time !!!
taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch @imagandom @mypage-myfandoms @mehrmonga @asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt @multilovebot @lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn @nothingfuninthislife @rileynicol3 @kodzuvk @mochimommy2002 @fluffyspaceprincess @roseseraj @black-swan-blog27 @nyrasslut @justdreamersdream @asfaraslifegets @why4anne @ineffableperson @leilanixx @lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog @rafaaoli @champomiel @sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro
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bumblebutterbeer · 1 month
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I recently saw this post and didn't want to derail it but wanted to make my own-- for those of us who are former athletes/gym rats but now find our bodies unable to perform to that level or at all because of disability.
I grew up in an extremely ableist household/community-- the kind where my knee injury was treated with ace wrap and ice instead of a dr visit and my drs only cared about making me "abled again" instead of helping me to learn to adapt to my injury. (I've spent a long, long time unlearning that bullshit.)
I thrived off of the thrill of pushing myself to my physical limit then shattering that limit. To watch the distance, the weight, the time climb higher and higher.
At my peak, I could lift almost 500lbs if I used my legs.
12 years later I can barely walk at times because of my old, untreated injury. Lifting with my legs is no longer possible. I have to use my arms and back.
Coming to terms with the fact I will probably never run again has been one of the hardest things I've done so far in my life. And I'm forever grateful to the people that have helped me get this far.
So, if I have to lift with my back, I'm gonna make it the strongest damn back in the Rockies. (Hyperbole, but you get my point.)
And I've been looking at workouts for my arms, shoulders, back, chest, and core. My entire upper half.
My knees might demand I use a cane to go to the store, but I'm gonna be sure I can throw ableists 100yds with a perfect spiral.
Then I'm going to try for 200yds.
The Point Being:
I know I am extremely lucky to be able to do this at all, but I also know I can't be the only one who feels/felt grief at that loss of their physical strength.
And idk maybe someone else's doctors cared more about them being "abled again" than they did about helping them make the best out of what they can do.
Maybe that someone will see this and feel a little bit less alone. Maybe they'll realize they can be a disabled former athlete/rock climber/cyclist/runner/etc. and can find that same thrill in pushing themselves even further than they did at their "peak."
Maybe we'll make a new "peak" together.
It's okay if we don't, though. That doesn't make us failures.
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yellowloid · 2 years
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I have a theory about Mr Schwartz:
Mr Schwartz is James Ford, the one who's been working with the band and supporting through all of their career, holding the crew and everyone together. Plus, he's worked with Alex and Miles on their tlsp albums. Miles could be the 'you' as they put out two albums together and are now wondering whether or not they could make a third one, the 'third chance'
hi anon! that is a very interesting theory you've got there. it would indeed be very interesting on alex's part (and also kinda cute of him) to dedicate a song to someone who's been such a constant presence in his career. i think the part about miles being the 'you' he's talking to really fits, along with the part about them having put out two albums and considering trying for another baby, as alex would say. that gives me hope for tlsp3 so i'm glad you put this interpretation in my inbox skfhsfhhs
however, let me add my two cents on what this song could possibly be about. obviously this is just my opinion + we have to wait and see how the song fits with the others once the album is out + we'll never really know, and that's okay. this is just some good old fan analysis.
i'm gonna be basic and say i think mr. schwartz is alex. the song itself gives me strong the bourne identity + anyways vibes, and i think it might also be directly connected to body paint. i find it very interesting that they decided to debut these two songs together, and maybe there's a reason why they did it.
i'm gonna talk specifically about anyways, mr. schwartz and body paint, since i feel like tbi goes even deeper and towards other directions and i'd end up writing an essay on it alone.
these three songs seem to share a common idea - that is, awareness of one's own façades, and the way in which said façades are slowly but surely crumbling down.
first of all we have anyways, which i think along with the ultracheese can be considered the prequel to what we're gonna get once the album is out. lots and lots of self-reflection - influenced by the pandemic? - and an eerie feeling of loneliness, a cryptic stillness that is captured perfectly by the car's album cover.
now let's compare these verses from anyways, body paint and mr. schwartz respectively:
"what a place for both the opposite sides of my double life to finally collide / sharing secrets i was taking to the grave / nosebleeds from epiphanies i took full in the face"
"for a master of deception and subterfuge / you made yourself quite the bed to lie in / [...] and I'm keeping on my costume"
"and if we guess who i'm pretending to be / do we get a prize?"
the anyways verse is all about epiphanies: it's him coming to terms with the fact that he's been keeping up a façade, two different lives he's been living, accepting it as a reality and even introducing himself to the listeners - who already know him, but he's doing it again ("you can call me alexander, it's nice to meet you all"), because the song is all about him finally putting on paper what he's slowly been realising. he takes it into account, and goes on with it.
then we get to the car.
the tracklist isn't organised at random. i'm convinced that mirrorball opens and perfect sense closes it for very specific reasons. nothing is left to chance. the album is all about self-reflection and discovery, and maybe, just maybe, getting to the end having finally sorted things out. having them make perfect sense for the very first time. (however, we'll see once we get to hear the full album)
so, it's not accidental that body paint comes before mr. schwartz (respectively track 5 and 9). in both songs, there are two yous he's talking to - one is himself (and he alternates it with the 1st person pronoun), while the other one is this mysterious other person, maybe a lover, maybe a friend, maybe just a hypothetical listener. (obviously i'm a milex demon so you already know who i'm thinking about, but i'm not gonna analyze it through the milex lens rn so let's not derail. maybe if someone's interested i could do it)
both songs are self-deprecating, but in slightly different ways. body paint is about being aware of those façades, of how good he really is at keeping them up ("master of deception and subterfuge"); how not being able - or not being allowed - to be his true self makes him miserable ("you made yourself quite the bed to lie in"). but at the same time, as he says in mr. schwartz, "there's not one god damn thing that you can do about this". he can't do anything to change this situation. it's an impasse. he's stuck.
however, after all this reflection on his part, the two songs get to very different conclusions.
in body paint, he's "keeping on [his] costume". he's choosing to deny this reality, going on and pretending everything's fine because it's easier that way. there's a bitter taste to it, but he still chooses to keep going down that path.
on the contrary, although the ending is quite ominous, in mr. schwartz there's this verse:
"having attempted twice, both incorrectly / do we get a third try?"
there's this feeling of uncertainty, of skepticism when being faced with the opportunity to try again and let go of all his façades. he's not even sure that opportunity is there.
but the fact that he's asking whether there is, indeed, a possibility to try yet again - it tells us he's willing to do it, and he might as well give himself a chance.
after all, he said it himself in the bourne identity: "i'm the mystery man that's been unmasked". perfect sense will close the album, and maybe by then he'll finally be able to let go of his mask.
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chuurotonin · 5 months
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pulling up one from the archives for the first time and just because the tag #diary is somehow useful because it's one of the tags in my pinned post above this :D this gets lengthy and at some cases, personal so i will be editing some of details on this entry so here it is the first ever #diary post on chuurotonin <3 enjoy reading! i love u!!!
June 23, 2023
i dreamed about [], a boy i went to school with on [] and i want to make out with him. he is cute and what,'s weird about liking him is when we we're once schoolmates, one day, he called me "bakla" which became a derogatory term for me knowing i really liked him back then, it traumatized me because of how i didn't like the sound of the word growing up, it felt violent and unwelcoming. it's way too odd because for months, waiting for graduation to come and sweep us all away into first year high school, that tragic happening made me ignore him for the rest of waiting for the school year to end, a slow hammer pound to the nails punctured in my heart, i acted like he didn't exist. it was awkward as fuck because we had drum and lyre practice together and our line formations are always close to each other. (side note: I hated [] practices and i hated playing []. if there were anything i would take back from the past, it would be 1) That i couldn't eat too much because I was too []. and 2) That i shouldn't have agreed to playing the fuck ass [] in that tired []. I was even surprised we'd win that title on my last school year at that school.
it hurt trying to pretend someone close to your heart doesn't exist not because you want to do that, it's because you are a young boy like him, in the closet, not ready to face the world of queerness, trying to cover up the fact that you like him, by a measure of "too much." i didn't let it consume me, i can't have that, and even if i would, i couldn't admit to him that i liked him :( it's a depressing thought but the past is gone and here is now, who knows i might end up bumping into him someday, fun fact: i've seen him on [] a couple of times when i was a senior year student studying [] and it was mindblowingly surreal seeing him after all the years that has passed. for me, [] is like an otter that needs to be held 24/7, I've never given this much thought or I've never rlly put it into words but I do like him, a lot, and if i was chicken shit to tell the world how i felt back then, i'd have nothing to lose if i was to tell him anyway. He's adorable and i wish we we're still friends. I just wished he didn't call me that word because to be frank, I'd be offended if he'd do it again. but I'll say it to him, i'll ask him first if he remembers me ignoring him and tell him why i did it in the first place. I wonder if he remembers all of that. I remember when he used to wear these blue or brown (?) velcro sandals, i'd stare at them at drum and lyre practice. I hated his sandals, I've always thought flip flops were better than sandals. Infinitely better if it was worn by a boy I liked.
[] never left my mind, but he was in the corner or a speck of thought somewhere here. what shocked me the most dreaming about him is i just "thought" of a different [], the [], cousin of []'s and []'s [], who i think is cute too but my mind just says, shouts and prefers this [] ([].) minutes after of this dream (which i couldn't remember, and i hate the fact that i couldn't...now i'm regretting i didn't write the details of it the moment i woke up.) i thought of looking him up on facebook. apparently, he bakes cookies and cakes and all that pastry and dessert shit. his Matcha cookies looks good, so, i really don't know if i'll add him and i *might* have to order some from him. the last post from his [] business is from 2021 though so i don't see a reason for me to order. but i can see a reason for me to shoot him a friend request, hit him up and confess my feelings to him after months of hanging out or whatever. i guess we'll have to find out the next time I will pull up the Notes app and start typing again like a mad bitch whose supposed to be sleeping now because I'm tired from nothing but I'm doing good mentally far from when I was employed at fucking [] house of fake ass fucking FUCK YOU [] A.K.A []rat-looking-motherfucker [] who verbally and psychologically abused me repeatedly.
anyways, this felt like an essay-diary hybrid. so good luck, good life, good love.
~
i feel likethe next diary post won't be like this by the way ! if you made it this far, thank you and ilu!!
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technofinch · 10 months
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wait has Nico become a vampire? also please tell me everything about them I keep trying to piece things together based off ur tags
what a FANTASTIC question enj
I'm putting this under a readmore bc another of the players follows me here and they don't have this information yet, buuutttttt…..
YEAH, she absolutely got her ass turned into a vampire lmao. And there's SO MUCH symbolism and narrative themes and implications and character growth!!!!!!!
This is the fancy explanation of where we're at rn, basically she split off from the entire rest of the party in the middle of the night and tried to save a sailor who was getting attacked, but ended up getting bitten herself. When she started to turn, instead of drinking the blood of the vampire that bit her, the captain of the ship came in and fed her instead, becoming her sire. So now she belongs to the Fallenswallow bloodline (wealthy duchess who is scary nice to us and also is scary good at scrying/divining/Knowing things) instead of the Vander bloodline (guys who are Just The Worst).
Since the last session just ended with Nico on bedrest, the rest of the party doesn't know yet whether or not she'll turn, and they definitely don't know about what the Captain did :3 so it'll be fun to watch that information slip out.
Also fun fact becoming a vampire in pathfinder makes you CRAZY strong, like, at level 5 nico now has 22 strength and a +24 bonus to sense motive (insight). And sure she can't see herself in the mirror, but like, that's probably fine. Our lovely gm even said that the garlic thing doesn't apply so my beloved italian girl is spared. HOWEVER, the amount of shame and self-loathing and fear that comes along with becoming the thing she hates and needing to feed on the blood of the living? THAT'S what I'm talking about, baybee. WAIT i don't think i've ever actually said what her class is on here? she's an Inquisitor, a really cool pathfinder class that's like a combination of a paladin and a rogue. She's got a lot of fun social abilities, divine spells, and funky combat abilities :3
In terms of ~narrative themes~, the major thing nico's been dealing with is seeing vampires as people and judging them based on their actions rather than what they are - she's had a major stick up her ass and a lot of preconceived notions about what makes a monster. One of the party's favorite NPCs, Atkin, was also unwillingly turned into a vampire and nico had been starting to learn and grow through him - but he got kidnapped a bit ago so who knows when we'll actually get to see him again. (Atkin also knows how to cure vampirism, and when I mentioned this to the GM they got the most fantastically evil look on their face so im VERY excited to see where that goes as well)
Sadly people weren't able to make it to an actual session yesterday so now i have to wait until next tuesday to see how all this plays out 😭but i am constantly rotating her in my mind and i really hope this was helpful (or at the very least entertaining)! i can never remember what i have or haven't shared on here lmao
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imthebadguyyy · 3 years
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A/N - based off of this sinful photograph
Suggested listening - Wildside by Normani and Kiss It Better by Rihanna
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Wildside
Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)
Fandom - F1
Summary - You've been on tour for a while, and you miss your loverboy. But when he surprises you on tour, its bound to get spicy.
Warnings - smut (not well written)
The snap of hips. The soft groans and moans. The sound of pants. The sound of Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' blaring through the walls. The bed knocking against the wall as Lewis's hands squeezed your hips, the intensity of the thrust pushing the bed against the wall. The high pitched moan that left your mouth as you reached your high, eyes closing as stars exploded behind your eyelids, as your boyfriend came right after you, your walls clenching as he came. Even after reaching your high, you didn't want to open your eyes, far too consumed in the earth shattering pleasure that was coursing through your veins, until a soft hand reached to pull your chin up, soft brown eyes looking into your own, clouded with lust and euphoria.
Pulling your mouth into his in a heated kiss, Lewis moved his hand to rest on your bare stomach, squeezing your tummy softly as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away he let his head droop onto your bare chest. "That was.." he began, far too blissed out to think of an adjective. "Godly" you said, chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to come to terms with the intensity of your orgasm. Laughing he leaned back up to kiss your nose, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. You heard the tap running, and the sound of the dustbin opening and closing. You closed your eyes again, the aftershocks still coursing through your body.
Opening them again slowly, you saw Lewis walk towards you, towel in hand, and a lazy smile on his face. He gently cleaned your thighs, finishing with kisses on both of them. He reached up and wiped your torso, which was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, before running the towel over your nose, cheeks, eyes and mouth. He dropped the towel in the clothes hamper near the bathroom door, pulling on his boxer shorts and and pulling out one of his t shirts from the cupboard. "What about the clothes on the floor" you piped up, finally beginning to wake up from your post pleasure state. "When did it get so messy?" He said, spotting 5 different clothing items in 5 different corners of the room. "When you decided to run your hand up my dress in a restraunt" you replied, throwing him a fake glare.
"You liked it" was his cocky reply, smirk spreading over his face as you flushed and ran a hand through your hair. "I did not" you lied, watching as he raised his eyebrows. "Oh really ? Thats not what you were saying 5 minutes ago- oh wait, you weren't saying anything at all. You were too busy moaning my name to say anything else-" "OKAY fine I loved it. Now shut up and bring your fine ass back for cuddles"
*-*-*
That was a month ago. Now you've been away for nearly one and half months, away with the girls on the LM5 tour. You loved touring, it was the best part of being a singer, getting to see the music you girls made together come to life on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of screaming fans. It was a thrill like no other. The only problem was that you were away from home. Distance was never an issue for the two of you, after all, he was a Formula 1 driver. It was very rare that he was home, except during the breaks and the gaps till race weekend, but ever since you two had started dating, he tried to be with you whenever you could. Sometimes, your shows would be in places where the races were too, and then he'd definitely turn up. But it was a difficult thing to do all the time, and some nights on tour were spent pulling all nighters as you talked to each other on the phone, till one of you eventually fell asleep.
But you knew when you started dating him, this wouldn't exactly be a regular relationship. The two of you were doing your dream jobs, and they were both extraordinary. And you were willing to put in the work you had to put in to make the relationship work, and you did. Yet here you were in Madrid, feeling heartbroken and desperately wanting your boyfriend by your side. It had been a rough couple of weeks, you were jet lagged and tired, and although this was the second leg of the tour, and you had had a break, it was tiring. It was hard going to bed every night alone, when all you wanted was to cuddle your boyfriend.
Little did you know, Lewis was feeling the same. In fact he had missed you so much, he had told Angela and his publicist to cancel all events for a week, while he flew out to Madrid to see you. He had missed you, he had missed you more than he could put into words. But he also wanted to surprise you. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Leigh Anne's contact, and sent her a text.
Lewis, Leigh Anne
Hey. Is Y/N asleep ?
Hey! No, she's in an outfit fitting.
Okay that's good. I need your help with something.
Sure how can I help ?
I want to surprise her by coming to see you guys in Madrid.
Oh thats wonderful ! She's been a little down in the dumps. I think she misses you.
I miss her too.
Let me know when, and I'll send a car to pick you up.
I'll be there on Saturday. Landing at 3:15 and I should be at the hotel by 4:30. Then I can get ready and surprise her at the show.
Okay done. I'll send the car around 5:30,so you can rest for a bit. You should be here by 6. The show's at 6:15.
Thank you! Can't wait : )
I'm so happy youre coming to see her ! I'll let the girls know.
*-*-*
As soon as he had finished texting, Lewis decided to start packing, the prospect of seeing you again sending a buzz of happiness running along his veins. God, he had missed you a lot. He turned to Roscoe, the dog sitting by his feet, looking up at his dad with his head cocked to one side. "I'm going to go see Mumma, Roscoe" he explained, smiling as the doggo barked in response. He wouldn't be able to take him to Madrid, he'd have to leave him with a dog sitter, but he couldn't feel too bad about it, since he had had Roscoe with him even when you were gone. And besides, Roscoe enjoyed the dog creche. He couldn't wait for Saturday.
Later in the evening, he sat down with a glass of wine, while the ringtone of your FaceTime rang through the empty house. After a few more seconds of ringing, the call was picked up, your tired face coming into view. "Hi darling" he said, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, and how much you were struggling to keep them open. "Hi bubs. Did you finish eating?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "No, I've ordered soup" (did anyone get the reference ;) "Oh okay" was the reply. "What about you? What time is it?" "Its 9:20 AM" you replied, gently rubbing your eyes again, forcing yourself to stay awake.
"9:20? Thats pretty late baby. Why are you still sleepy?" "We were recording till 4 AM, so Im functioning on like 5 hours sleep right now" "Oh damn. Go back to sleep then baby" "Can't, rehearsal" was you reply, making him furrow his eyebrows. "Okay I guess. But don't tire yourself out" "I won't" "I love you" he said, smiling at you. "I love you"
*-*-*-*
The Madrid show was always a fun one. The fans were loud and you loved it. They were one of the best crowds you girls ever played for, and the show had its own adrenaline and excitement. But it was difficult to give a 100% when you were tired, but you really tried, you did. During Power, you hit highnotes you didnt think you could, during Woman Like Me you danced like there was no tomorrow. During Wasabi, you brought your sass level up to a 1000. It was during Bounce Back that you caught sight of a very familiar face in the audience. Unable to actually grasp if you had actually seen Lewis, you turned to Jade, who was on your side, and looked back at the crowd and back to her, asking for confirmation.
The smirk she gave you was answer enough. After that, focusing on giving an excellent performance increased tenfold. Every swirl of your hips, every flip of your hair, every wink you threw at the audience, it was all five times sexier. In the crowd, your boyfriend was well aware of what you were doing, and it was fair to say that you were succeeding at it. He could feel an uncomfortable sensation around his pants region, as his cock twitched uncomfortably in his pants. He couldn't wait till the show was over, and you two could have a show of your own.
*-*-*
"That was amazing darling!" Lewis said, spotting the 5 of you in your dressing room. "Oh look its Mr. Loverboy!" Perrie said, cackling as you rolled your eyes at her, before running up to your lover and jumping into his arms. "Hiya Bub! I missed you!" "I missed you too love. That's why I surprised you. I couldn't stand another day without you at home" he said, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you stable as you jumped into his arms. A chorus of "awws" echoed throughout the room, as the girls watched your cute little interaction. What wasn't cute however was the comment Lewis made in your ear, hiding his face in your ear so that the girls couldn't see. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel. I saw the performance you were putting on for me baby. You have no idea how hard I got, how uncomfortable I was standing in front of so many people when all I really wanted to do was fuck you"
You could feel your mouth become dry, and your heartbeat quicken, and you could feel the area between your thighs become wet. You tightened your grip around him, letting your crotch rub against his very softly. "I think it's time to go" you mumbled against his ear. "Okay girls, as lovely as it was to see you, I think it's time we go back to the hotel. I'm pretty worn out from travelling as well" "Yeah I'm pretty tired too" you replied, faking a large yawn. "Alright then, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" Leigh Anne said, leaning forward to give you a hug. After you finished hugging all the girls, the two of you made your way to the car, eagerly waiting to get back home.
The car ride home was tense. The tension was apparent in the air, reverberating through the air, choking you in a way you revelled in. The air was thick with tension, and it was suffocating you in the best way possible. It was almost too much to take. When the hotel came into sight, you practically leapt out of the car, and rushed to the door, an equally ruffled Lewis beside you. But he was not going to give in to you so easily. He enjoyed seeing you flustered. And he was not a person that gave someone what they wanted when they asked for it,no. He was going to have you desperate for it. Smirking to himself, he made his way to the reception, grabbing you by the waist as he went.
Throwing him a confused look you followed, slightly frustrated. "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man at the reception asked, eyes going slightly wide as he recognized the two of you. "Hi! I just wanted to ask, till what time is your pool and spa open?" He asked, sliding his hand down to the back of your dress. "The pool closes at 10 pm sir, and the spa at 9 pm. We open the pool at 7 am and the spa at 11pm"he replied, struggling to maintain his professionalism as he spoke to one of the best drivers in Formula 1. "Alright thank you. And what time does breakfast start?" Lewis asked, hand pressing down on your ass, ever so discreetly. "Breakfast is from 6-10 am sir" "Thank you so much"
Next to him, you were fuming. Of course he was going to ask questions to which he already knew the answers to. A painful throb between your legs made you let out a small whimper, and the man at the reception looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Ma'am are you alright?" He asked, eyeing your stiff posture and tense state. "Yes, just tired, thank you" you replied, a little stiffly, but it was hard to concentrate when Lewis's promise of fucking you senseless kept replaying in your mind. "Alright then, good night" Lewis said, biting back a smirk at your flustered state. He knew getting you all riled up would lead to some seriously earth shattering sex, and he couldn't wait. But first, he definitely wanted to tease you, to push you over the edge, just a little more.
Your room was on the 16th floor, and as the two of you made your way into the elevator, he eyed you up and down, eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts. The minute the door shut, he pushed you against the wall, capturing your lips in a steamy kiss you'd be remembering the next day. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing hard, eliciting a moan from your lips. The moment your lips parted, he was pushing his tongue into yours, his other hand coming up to pull on your hair roughly, relishing in the gasp that left your lips. As suddenly as he started, he stopped, pulling back and standing almost nonchalantly against the wall.
Trying to wrap your head around what happened, you gripped the wall with your hand, feeling your legs grow weak to a point where you felt like you couldn't stand on your own. You could feel your wetness dripping, threatening to run down your thighs, as the throbbing became even more painfully exciting. You looked down at the floor, eyes closing as your frustration grew more and more by the second. Finally, with a little 'ding', the elevator stopped at the 16th floor. The moment the door opened you stepped out on wobbly legs, trying your best to walk properly. But of course, that wasn't going to happen. As you turned one long corridor, Lewis suddenly grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall again, to reach down and suck on your neck. You let out a gasp, and tried to run your crotch against his, but the retaliated with a slap to your ass, smirking when a high pitched moan left your lips. Lifting you up against the wall, he mumbled against your ear "the key card" your clouded mind was unable to process the words, too consumed by slight relief you were getting. "Get the key card baby" he repeated. This time you noted it, reaching down to his pants pocket to pull out the key card. You couldn't resist running your hand over his cock, feeling how rock hard he was. The thought of him fucking you senseless returned, and you let out a groan.
Grabbing the card from your hand, he opened the door, propping you up against the door in your bedroom. His eyes were filled with a raw, animal desire, as he dropped the card on the floor and reached up to unzip your dress. He ripped the zipper down, your dress falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. He locked his eyes on your heaving chest, hand reaching up to grab your chin, pulling you in for a searing kiss. His hand slid up your torso, reaching behind to unhook the red lacy bra you were wearing, letting it drop to the floor as he took in the glorious sight in front of him. You waited, wanting him to just touch you, but he just stared, eyes looking into yours, clearly saying "beg for it"
You couldn't help the soft "please" that left your lips, too desperate for some sort of touch. "Please what?' Lewis said, tightening his grip on your waist. "Please" was all you could say again, nearly whimpering again at the rough look in his eyes. "Use your words baby. Now, please what?" "Please just touch me!" You finally gasped out, moaning loudly when he licked a stripe down your chest before taking your right tit into his mouth. His hand fondled the left one, running his thumb over your erect nipple, the rough pad of his thumb sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His mouth sucked on the skin of your tit, before moving down to bite down on your nipple. You gasped again, pain and pleasure coursing through your body as his tongue ran over your nipple over and over till it nearly felt raw. He switched his actions, moving his mouth to your left tit instead, letting his hand harshly fondle the other. He continued the same process of biting, licking and sucking, till he was satisfied with himself. "I fucking love this baby. Seeing you all wet and needy for me. So what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? My cock? Or does my baby want them all ?" He asked, watching as your pupils dilated and you let out a strangled moan.
You let your crotch rub against his thigh, gasping when the friction went straight to your core. "Look at you darling. I asked you what you what you wanted, and you picked my thighs? Well, I want to see you dripping. I want to see you cum on my fingers, my mouth, my thighs and especially on my cock. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again till you can't even stand on your own fucking legs. I want your thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to see you moan and groan and scream my name so loud, by tomorrow everyone in this hotel will know my name, because you'll spend all night screaming it" you moaned again, his words going straight to your core."Please Lewis, God, just make me cum please!" The desperation of your cry was enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping your body onto the soft mattress.
He pulled of shirt, unbuttoning every button so you could see him do it. He could see your eyes grow dark, as his compass tattoo came into sight. You had told him it was one of your favourites, and he had used it against you ever since you had told him that. Smirking at you, he climbed onto the bed, lying down between your legs. You pushed yourself up against the headboard, spreading your legs wide for him. His eyes grew dark, as your core came into his view, shimmering with your juices. A near animalistic growl left his mouth, the sound hitting your core. He moved so that he was situated right in front of your core. He let his eyes take in the sight of you in front of him, snapping back to reality when you let out a groan of frustration. Throwing you a devilishly reassuring smile, he inched neared and nearer, till his nose was nearly touching your clit. Then he just lay there. Not moving. You could feel your heartbeat hammering against your chest, chest heaving up and down, an alarming intense feeling growing in your tummy. Finally, when it became too much you let out a small scream of frustration "Oh for fucks sake Lewis please just fuck me!" Your outburst brought a smile to his face. "Oh I will. Just not yet" and with that, he ran a finger along your slit, before finally slipping it into you. You let out a moan, finally getting the friction you had been desperate for. His fingers circled your clit, thumb gently pressing down, before he removed it,only to slam it back down on your sensitive clit, earning a scream of pleasure from you.
He slipped a second finger into you, scissoring around your clit, as your desperate cries of "oh, oh baby! Fuck, fuck lewis-" were lost in the heat of the moment. He leaned his head down to your core, letting his tongue run along your slit too, before licking around it, collecting your wetness on his tongue, before letting it harshly circle your clit. You bucked up into his mouth, feeling his tongue wrap around your clit. He sucked the nub harshly, his fingers still moving in and out of you. "Oh God, Oh GOD, Lew-I- oh! Oh God!" Your broken moans were music to his ears as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You could feel a strange intensity growing in your stomach, feeling a lot stronger than your usual orgasm. The band in your tummy was threatening to snap, but you needed that something more to help it snap. That something more came when Lewis sucked your clit into his mouth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.
With a cry of "Oh fucking hell, Lew-" you camr gushing into his mouth, your juices coating his fingers and gushing onto his tongue, as he let you ride out your orgasm on his deadly skilled tongue. Well, he had got his wish. Your thighs were shaking around his head, as your body tried to come to terms with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body. Looking down, you saw him with his painfully hard cock, grinding down on the sheet, as he let out a moan at the relief the bedsheets gave him. Raising an eyebrow, you patted your thigh, signaling him to come over to you. "You loved on me so well bubs. But I can see how hard you are. Do you want to use me to get off?" You asked, watching the effect you had on him. All he could do was nod, as you sat up on your knees. "Stand up" you ordered, getting up from the bed as well.
You walked over to the wall, letting your body rest against it. Somewhat confused, Lewis followed you, standing in the space between your legs. "I tried to get off using your thighs didn't I? I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. So use me. Use my thigh. Get off" looking at you in pure shock, your boyfriend moved forward, groaning when you pushed your leg against his throbbing cock. He relished in the friction, slowly beginning to move against your leg, moaning when he began to rub against your leg. He began to hump your leg faster, as the pleasure began to build up in his body, before you reached your hand down to cup his length in your hands, moaning when you realized your fingers didn't quite meet. You ran your fingers along his length. You pumped him, letting your thumb circle his sensitive tip, eliciting a soft whine from him. You circled faster, moving down to your knees, and letting your tongue run up his shaft very softly. Above you, Lewis slammed his hands against the wall, groaning when you took him into your mouth.
But a part of him still wanted to cum inside when he was fucking you (in a condom, because wrap it before you tap it) so he pulled you back up, smirking when you whined. "I know baby, but I just really wanna fuck you now. Back on the bed please, unless you want me to take you here against this wall" practically running, you clambered onto the bed. You watched as Lewis pulled out a condom, ripping the packet open before climbing back on top of you. He let his hand rest on your hip, eyes temporarily losing some of the animalistic need that had been present in them. Leaning down, he connected your lips together in a kiss, a searing, intense kiss that took your breath away. "Ready love?" He asked, looking into your eyes, looking to see if there was even a slight hint that you didn't want this. But you did.
With a sudden jolt, he thrust himself into you, groaning when your warm walls clamped down on him. His hips thrust into you, starting off slow, letting you adjust to his massive length. "My sweet baby,taking me so well. Does it feel good?" You couldn't even respond, mouth agape, as his the pace of his thrusts increased. "Answer me" he said, suddenly stopping. Almost crying out at the loss of pleasure, you looked at him with desperation. "Yes yes, fuck it feels so good, please don't stop!" "Thats all you had to say baby" he said, before pushing in again, slowly. Then, he pulled back out. Looking at him in confusion, you gasped when he slammed back into you, a high pitched moan of "Lewis!" leaving your lips. He moved so that he had a better hold of your hips, rocking the both of you back and forth, the intensity of his thrusts was so much that the bed knocked back against the wall. What he wasn't expecting was for you to take his left thumb up to your mouth, running your tongue over it before sucking on it.
Moaning, he started thrusting into you even harder, shifting so that he was directly hitting your g spot. "Oh, God ! Oh fuck, Baby that feels so good please keep going keep-oh!" The cry that left your lips was so loud, you were sure Perrie in the room next to yours had heard you. "Fuck baby, you take me so well" Lewis said, as he nearly hammered your g spot. He was so, so damn close to cumming, and when you leant up and bit a sensitive spot on his neck, he came, gushing into the guard between you two, but he wanted you to cum to, so he reached down to pinch and rub your clit, still riding out his orgasm in you, moaning when you came with a scream. He winced when your core spasmed on his sensitive cock, and he pulled out slowly, before collapsing next to you. Panting, you curled up to him, letting your hand rest on his compass tattoo. "Okay that was Godlike" you said, earning a tired laugh from your lover.
"Yeah it really was. I missed you" he said, allowing you to nuzzle into his neck, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "I missed you too" you replied, kissing the tattoo. "I love you too" As you lay there together, still revelling in the moment, your phone buzzed. Reaching over to check it, you saw your groupchat with the girls flooding with messages.
-*-*-
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Y/N, I'm filing a noise complaint. 🍆
Jade ✨ - Pez 😂 let them be. It's been a while for her.
Leigh 🦋- She really got some tonight huh? 😏
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️- LOL she did !! And it was obviously some goooood 'some' *wink wink*
Jade ✨- I could hear em too, and Im on the other end of the hall.
Leigh 🦋 - I know I did too! Must be some damn good sex. 😏
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Go Y/N !!
Jade ✨ - Can't wait till she reads this.
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Are they still going?!
Leigh 🦋 - No 😂 she's reading the messages. Y/N!! Yoohoo!
You - yes I'm here 🖕🏽
Jade ✨ - Did you have fun babe 😏
You - ..... yes
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - babe you can't really say no because we heard you
You- Im not saying I didn't have fun. But you guys need to calm down.
Leigh 🦋 - But its funnn
You - okay byeeee ❤
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Going for a round 2 😏?
You - okay I said bye.
Leigh 🦋 - she is !!
Jade ✨ - Go babe !
You - I need to leave this group.
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - No we love you !! ❤
Leigh 🦋 - Yeah don't leave us ❤
Jade ✨- Don't leave meee ! ❤
You - Haha I'd never leave you girls ❤ now bye.
Jade ✨ - bye babe !
Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - bye you sexy minx 😏
Leigh - bye hun 💙
*-*-*
Smiling to yourself, you put your phone away, to see Lewis looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Who was it?" "Just the girls" you said, cuddling back up to him. "What did they say?" Giggling, you looked up to him and kissed his neck. "They said they're going to file a noise complaint. And they asked me if we were going for a round two" "Were we really that loud?" He asked, looking at you in surprise. "Yeah, even Leigh heard us and she's at the end of the hall!" "Damn" Lewis said laughing. "Well," he said, looking at you again, with a cheeky look in his eye, "they were right about one thing" "And what is that?" You asked, smiling at him mischievously. "We are going for a round two"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
@maxverstappenx @grandestrategia (because you are worth it 🦋💙)
552 notes · View notes
jemmo · 2 years
Note
choosing to believe they're doing a fake-breakup. it wouldnt make sense for their characters but neither does a real one so
ok anon after sleeping on it and finally doing my rewatch (which hurt A LOT, just as much as the first time), ive gotta say i rlly dont know. the preview leaves a lot to be interpreted. everything could be taken at face value and equally be explained away so its a preview i cant really dig into bc i feel like its intention is to send us spiralling into madness.
what i can do is try and gauge the story they're trying to tell knowing now what we got from ep 11 and certain things that'll be said and things we'll see in ep 12. my instant response to that preview upon first watch was what?? no?? thats not it, its not happening, it cant be real. this is all a ruse, its a joke, its fake. but upon my rewatch, contextualising everything through a new lens knowing whats in that preview, i can see the narrative threads coming together. i dont exactly know how to put it into words at the moment bc its all still v fresh and raw, but its like... i see both resignation and defiance if that makes sense??? i see an acknowledgement and acceptance of all the facts plain and simple, both those that are wonderful and beautiful and those that are unfair and hurtful. them running away was always a break to process, never a solution, and thats what they have to do. they have to take it all in and slowly over the ep i do see a coming to terms. but they also come to terms with the extent of their love and commitment.
i've watched some scenes a couple of times, mainly the kiss and the scenes in the bed (not to objectify but bc i think they're honestly beautiful and resonated with me a lot), and upon multiple watches i saw them differently every time. i see it first as what it is simply, an act to reaffirm and express their love. but then i see it as a stolen moment to be that close before everything is torn away. then i see it as as an act of defiance, as in no matter what the world tries to take from them they cant change the fact they've had that, been that close, been together. then i see it as vulnerability, them being in a place, an environment that feels safe for them, being with a person they can trust whole heartedly to bare their soul to. and its a lot more things and i dont know what it meant to them, if it was none of these or all of these, but i guess what im trying to say is that this ep wasn't simply an ode to a relationship destined to be lost. in bittersweetness there's also kind of rebellion, bc bittersweet moments are made when you know you shouldnt do something but do it anyway. in this ep in all its emotional moments i see unbreakable and unparalleled strength. and you can predict from that what you like. you can believe that means they will not break up, they have a plan, they will not let the world separate them again. or you can believe that they break up but that strength will live on and be the life force that pulls them towards the inevitability of them coming back together. im not in the headspace for prediction, but the fact i can see that strength still is enough for me.
and to get back to your ask, i think i ultimately dont know what i 'choose' to believe. a fake break up almost feels too much like a punch in the face, like i dont want this to be solved with more lies and deceit, especially not from pat and pran who have always had that forced on them and vehemently tried to reject it. and it feels like a cop out to have such an emotionally heavy ep and leave us with those crumbs to have it be fake. i know they like to mislead and play us with previews sometimes, but we're at a place where i don't want to play games, not with this much at stake. so i believe its real, bc as much as that hurts, i can see it. i said before id accept a break up if it made narrative sense. and after ep 10 it didnt make narrative sense to me, but i think that was my optimism talking. i believed in that moment that these two boys wanted to take on the world and fight it, but the enemy has always felt too big. its like they saw the monster in the distance and felt strong enough to fight it, but when you're right in front of it and its 10x bigger than you and you're faced with something that feels insurmountable, i just... i dont want them to be blamed for being weak. not everyone can take everything on. theyve both had the weight of the world thrust upon their shoulders for too long and being together only makes the weight heavier in some ways, bc you want to carry it for that other person even if it crushes you. thats a horrid truth, and at some point exhaustion kicks in and you just have to remove yourself. you have to see the world beyond those two houses on that street and realise yes there's places we could be together but that life is more complicated than that, and beyond those houses is also university and work and friends and family and everything else.
thats the thing about love, and specifically pat and pran's love. its always been so self contained for them, and that amplifies that feeling of it being the be all and end all, the feeling its the most important feeling in the world. but from the outside you can never know what its like on the inside. you look at other's love as something simple, small, just another facet of life. we've been allowed inside and we see it for how huge it feels for them, and thats why its hard for us to reconcile with the fact that now they're letting it go for something else. happiness should not have to come at the expense of pain, but sometimes it does, so what do you do?? what do you do when all options lead to hurt?? when the world feels so hostile to everything you are and wanna be, whats the step forward?? whats the sacrifice you have to make?? i think that sacrifice is time. they dont want to sacrifice people, their families or each other, so they sacrifice time, with a belief that time is enough to fix, time can mend, time can reunite as it has before and when it comes, that the best way to defy the world is to not look back on the time lost, but the time you have ahead, where finally the brightness of the future can shine.
(sos this was soooo ranty but this is the first times im putting my thoughts into words and theyre very messy and emotionally charged and my head and heart are fistfighting but yeah... its a lot)
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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years
Text
Vicious
Part VII
Tumblr media
Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader
Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.
Words: 1864.
Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
________
You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.
“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”
“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”
“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”
He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”
He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.
"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."
It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?
You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.
"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."
"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."
You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.
"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"
"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.
Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.
Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?
The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.
"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"
"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"
"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."
"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.
"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."
What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?
"You're too kind. Thank you."
His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.
"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"
Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.
Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?
Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.
Well, you could at least try, right?
When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.
Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?
______________
When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 
Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 
Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.
Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.
“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”
What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?
“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.
“Did you study all night?”
“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”
“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”
Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.
You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.
“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”
As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.
_________
Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks
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bukojuiice · 3 years
Text
the wedding booth  — eren jaeger
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ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x  fem! reader)
ೃ after being unwillingly dragged to plan and create a wedding booth for your first university festival, eren accompanies you to a bridal boutique. there, he contemplates about the future and all of the cheesy romantic stuff he wants to do with you.
ೃ genre and warnings: college au, lots and lots of fluff!
ೃ  my nav  →  my aot masterlist
ೃ 1k words
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My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Wedding Crashers... hell, even Mamma Mia.
If having to be forced to watch these romantic comedies about weddings doesn't give you the sudden urge to get hitched and run away to some tropical island, then you don't know what will.
For your very first uni fair at Shigashina University, your friends had proposed a Marriage booth. To be more specific, three of your friends did. Jean, Sasha, and Connie are the masterminds behind this stupid idea and it's all because of three things:
1. Jean is pining over Mikasa so so bad. So many years have passed and yet he still hasn't found a way to confess. And so, due to his pompous ass binge-watching stupid rom-coms recently, he thinks that if "fake dating" can bring two people together, then having a fake wedding with his unrequited crush of 12 years could finally make her fall for him too. He wants the booth to be as iconic as a wedding straight out of Las Vegas. Problem is, he's never been to Las Vegas, and his terribly unrealistic basis for wanting it to be as iconic as a "Las Vegas Wedding" is that one scene from The Hangover and that episode from Friends.
He was delusional and yet, he wanted to push through with this proposal no matter what. Nothing was going to stop him... not unless it was one of the three seniors whom you would be proposing this project to in the first place.
2. Sasha's goals are much normal. A bit odd, but still normal and not as desperate as Jean's. All she wants is to get Ymir, the captain of the school's soccer team to confess to Historia, the freshman Bio-Chemistry student who works part-time as a library assistant (and whom everyone secretly fawns over for. she's just that damn cute.) However, the real reason as to why she helped [rp[pse this stupid marriage booth to get them to finally confess to each other is anyone's guess.
3. Connie thinks he's gonna get clout from this. Rise up the university hierarchy perhaps? He's treating the entire festival like it's high school all over again. He prays that the marriage booth will become the hottest thing in the festival, then he'll instantly become that cool and bad-ass freshie whom everyone wants to be friends with. Either way, if the booth is going to be a success or not, you know for a fact he's never going to be a part of the "cool kids" (good lord, can you believe people still use that term in college?) and he's gonna be stuck with you and your other friends for the rest of the years to come.
It didn't take long before they finally finished their elaborate PowerPoint Presentation (despite Connie insisting that Powerpoint is boring) that they were going to pitch to three of the principal members of the student council. Namely, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Hange Zoe.
It was gonna be an automatic no for Levi, obviously. Nothing could ever get past that man. But if they can somehow convince Erwin and most especially Hange to get on board with their stupid scheme, then the booth was good to go.
Now, here you are, in a bridal boutique. Purchasing some simple wedding dresses that will serve as your rent-a-dress service for the Marriage booth.
It wasn't originally a part of the plan. Not at all.
However, Hange would only approve of the project IF the wedding booth was going to be made into something more elaborate and memorable. They didn't want something as simple as printing out fake marriage contracts, cheap tulle fabric wedding veils, fake plastic bouquets, and wedding pictures that came out of a polaroid camera.
Oh no no no. They wanted it to be extravagant. The cream of the crop. The absolute bomb. The best booth at the festival.
Hange saw potential in the idea and with an approved budget by the student council, you could make anyone's wedding dreams come true.
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 Fast forward to a week before the event, you are currently on a shopping spree with Armin, Mikasa, and your boyfriend, Eren (because Sasha insisted he had the right proportions for the rental groom outfits. She totally did not ask him to come along so that he can see you try on wedding gowns.) to buy supplies, props, decorations, and everything else needed.
"(Y/N), we'll meet you and Eren at the bridal boutique, okay?" Armin proclaims, looking at the time on his wristwatch and struggling to balance the shopping bags on his other hand.  Mikasa notices how much he's been struggling and offers to hold the bags for him.
"Sure! Don't forget about the list that Jean sent!" You shout back, turning to Eren as his fingers interlace with yours, making your merry way to the boutique whilst Armin and Mikasa go off the other direction.
"Don't get too excited." You joke, nudging Eren on the arm. "I'll just be trying on these dresses for the booth."
There's a particular glimmer in Eren's emerald eyes, chuckling at your quip. "Sheesh. Did you really have to remind me? Of course I know that. Besides, we're too young to even think about marriage right now. What's important is that I'm spending the best years of my life with you."
"Eren Grisha Jaeger, it is too damn early for you to make me a blushing pile of mess with your flirty comebacks." You deadpan, the heat rising up your cheeks as you try to hide your embarrassment from him.
The both of you laugh it off, shuffling into the store. The chiming bells of the shop door echo around the area as you look in awe at the luxurious dresses occupying every available space. The wafting smell of a vanilla pinecone scent and the soft sound of a sewing machine doing its work. There was a homey and rustic feel to this boutique that made you feel like you were sent back in time.
From great flouncy pieces adorned in layers of lace that rolled like ocean waves to more humble designs, albeit of the finest cloth.
This plethora of finery- reminds you strongly of the many genteel ladies depicted in those books and historic romances you used to read and watch. Like that of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.
Having the opportunity to enter a boutique such as this was a dream.
"Welcome! May I help you find anything?" A seamstress appears from the register. She looks at you from head to toe, as if trying to guess your measurements.
"W-we're looking for wedding dresses. Anything within the 200 to 300 dollar range? We don't need anything extra fancy, though! We'll just be needing them-"
Her eyes shift from you to Eren like she's suddenly a love coach, sizing the two of you up. "Yes, yes, young love! How sweet!" She chirps, breathing out a dreamy sigh. "Of course! For couples on a tight budget, we have-"
"We're looking for wedding dresses that can be used as costumes! Not too short and not too long either. W-we're not getting married or anything." You dismiss the seamstress with a wave of your hand. "I'm sorry if you thought of it that way..."
Although her shoulders visibly drop, the saleswoman still manages to smile. "Oh! I would like to apologize for assuming anything too!"
"Actually, mam, we do have plans sometime in the future." Eren grins cheekily, pulling you close to him. "Not today, of course, but we'll make sure to drop by in a few years!"
The saleslady's eyes lit up at Eren's vow. "Over here are some of our best-selling pieces! Ones that will certainly attract the eye of any groom!" She beckons you over to some mannequins lined up in the middle of the store, your gaze is drawn to the myriad of dresses on display as you walk throughout the space.
You turn back to Eren, studying him closely as he walks a few paces behind you, you thoughtfully wonder if the dresses you would pick out would match his taste.
She leads you to the back of the store to show the other garments and dresses embroidered with simplicity and yet elegance. You then pick two gowns up from their respective racks, satisfied with your purchase and making a beeline to the register to pay. However, the seamstress stops you from your tracks.
"How about this one, dear?"
You turn your attention to her, doe-eyed and curious as to what she was going to show you next.
"It is indeed a wedding dress, although not what you had asked for, the handsome young man did say something about your marriage plans. Perhaps this might help you visualize it? Give you an idea for the future, hm?" She hums wistfully, drawing your attention to the mannequin she placed in front of you. "It would be a shame if you left the boutique without trying anything on."
"(Y/N)?" You hear Eren's husky voice call out for you from the front of the store, "Armin just texted me. They can't find a specific prop in the crafts store so we might have to wait a bit longer for them."
"Okay! We can spare more time in the boutique, anyways." You answer back,  before turning your attention to the seamstress once more.
"Alright. I think I'll try it on then."
"Trying it on" turned out to be more than you had imagined. You thought you could just slip inside the dress and show it off. But nope. You needed a few adjustments to dress, adornments in your hair, and had to wear a wedding veil.
It was almost as if you were actually preparing to be wed.
"Good sir, your lovely missus is ready!" Yup, even the words of the seamstress made you feel like you were living in the 17th century right now. Did she really have to use such fancy words?
"Please, watch your step." The seamstress takes your hand and leads you out of the dressing room and right towards—
Eren who had been waiting in the shop proper.
"Doesn't she look beautiful?" She giggles, glancing at Eren for a response. "Well, I'll leave the two of you here first and bring the dresses you've chosen to the cash register first." In a wink, she's gone and had disappeared into the back almost before the words left her mouth.
The unfamiliar yet elegant garb makes you feel shy and the fact that Eren was gaping at you did not help at all. He was absolutely entranced by your beauty.
You unconsciously lower your head, tucking a strand of hair beneath your ear, unable to bear the thought.
"God, you're not just beautiful. Y-you look breathtaking."
He says in a barely audible whisper, pulling you to him once more.
Placing his hands on your waist, Eren plants a soft, tender kiss on your chest, the low-cut dress affording it easily. In a heartbeat, you feel your cheeks grow hot.
"Heh. Guess I got you again." He grins wolfishly, still admiring your beauty and tracing circles on the back of your hand. "I-I don't deserve you... I really don't."
"If you didn't deserve me, would you be here right now?" You say jokingly, raising your eyebrow.
"I mean it." He buries his face on the hem of your dress, his voice is muffled and soothing. "I can't believe you chose to love me." He looks up at you, eyes practically welling up with tears. "God, I honestly can't believe I'm crying right now, but, yeah... I am. That's how much I love you and how much I want to marry you right now."
You giggle at the expression your boyfriend has shown before you, stroking his hair and burying your fingers into his long brunette locks. "I love you too. But... why so sudden? You already told the saleswoman that we'll be back in a few years. She'd be surprised to hear you change your mind so easily."
"Well, if that's the case, then I better tell Jean to have us first on the list of the wedding booth then. We worked our asses off for this, might as well be the first to be blessed with the luck of that stupid booth."
You giggle once more as he continues to hold you so close. You feel his breath and his heartbeat. Each exhale and pulse brings you to the realization that Eren is the one. The man you want to be with for the rest of your life. The man who will help you through all your faults and mistakes, your burdens and troubles, through all the ups and downs... he will be there.
Just as you will be for him.
Guess those stupid movies centered around weddings weren’t so bad after all
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.taglist: @crapimahuman​
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all-about-seggs · 3 years
Text
┗ Love- Lies- Bleeding
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Pairing - Geto Suguru x Virgin!reader
Word count- 4.8 K
Warnings - Gaslighting, Corruption kink, snuff (not graphically depicted) and then reincarnation, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, adding blasphemy kink just to be safe.
A/n- Geto isn't a yandere here but it's Villan! Geto we're talking about so I think his actions are pretty in line with his current canon! Personality. Though a bit delusional. This is by FAR the longest thing I've ever written.
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The gray cobblestones stretching across the shrine clicked against your thick wodden sandles, the quaintness of the place only making it seem unnaturally loud. It's was a regular autumn morning, which soon turned into noon as you felt the bright sun shining right on top of your head.
Having finished your morning tasks you were returning to the main shrine where the senior priestess would give you further things to do. Just the thought of more work non stop made you sigh at your monotonous shrine maiden lifestyle but as you lamented you heard footsteps behind you, the sound of which same as that of your own.
"Hey!.....", You turned around to see your little sister huffing as she catches up to you,
" y/n! He's here again!," The implications of her words made your face heat up, sure you were still a bit green and naive, but you made sure to discreet when it came to 'looking' at that one particular man that always seem to stand out among the hoards of faceless people you saw visiting the shrine everyday.
"How many times have I told you not to phrase it like that! You'll get me in trouble with the priestess!", Scrambling to get yourself together you retort sharply.
"Oh come on! Youre the one who used to stare at him from a distance like a lovesick teenager! Atleast now you're talking to him like a normal person", In terms of liveliness the sound of your back and forth was the only thing the place had.
"Watch it! If someone hears you we'll both get scolded", gently warning her again you find yourself turning back to where she came from. The other part of the premises where the peculiar man would be standing, as usual, in all his serene beauty, on the brigde overlooking the small lake.
A man in traditional Japanese cloths that you rarely see anyone wearing these days came to your shrine everyday, without fail for the past month. Everything from his attire to his elegant long hair left you in a trance and your eyes would naturally follow him.
Something about the fact how he'd always come here but never to pray or wish striked you as odd so at first you just observed and even before completely wrapping the situation around your head you two started sharing numerous conversations of the huge world that was right outside but so far away from your reach, his words fuelled the budding curiosity in your heart, the vastness of which made your trips to the lake, the most refreshing part of your otherwise monotonous daily routine.
Even if all you did was talk, a 'supposidly' demure maiden working in a shrine, skipping on her duties and rushing to the other side of the ginormous area to see a man felt almost elicit, scary even when you consider the consequences that would come if you were to get found out. The charisma his every action held was beyond resistance and you soon found yourself enraptured by the male despite everything.
"This is so pointless" you huffed, smiling out of self pity to hide the more frustrating emotions twirling within you.
"Yet you do it everyday", with a small nudge from her elbow you made your way straight to the lake, forgetting about your obligations as a shrine maiden, the responsibilities, the restrictions and all inhibitions put upon you in the name of god.
With quick steps you soon found yourself at the base of the curved brigde,
"Good afternoon Mr. Geto", your greeting came out in a rush, trying to ignore the warmth of your face, but your attempts at hiding your flustered state didn't go unnoticed by the man in front of you.
" Seems like you've been having quite a hectic day", smiling in his usual serene way Geto gracefully turns his head in your direction.
" Not any more than usual", calming your erratic heartbeat you slowly close the distance between the two of you and stand beside him on the arch of the bridge.
" It's really nice here", He remarked, his eyes sweeping across the tiny fishes swimming near the surface of the lake. You stared at him for a little while before finally asking the one thing that drew you to him the most.
" I always wondered, why do you come here everyday if you don't even want to go to the main shrine to pray?. Surely it's not just for this scenery."
" Hmmm? Pray for what?", Not particularly moved by your question he quizzically tilt his head.
"Well.....you know, the usual, success in job, finding a significant other or maybe even something materialistic? Although I doubt you're interested in the last one", you laugh a little to take the edge off your slightly personal question.
"Dreams come true through steadily applied efforts not praying", with his sage like appearance, his words didn't came off as a shock.
"Not the best thing to say to a shrine maiden but I guess it's somewhat true", Quipping back you just looked at him with a smile, silently revelling on your familiarity with each other.
"What about you? You never look like you're having fun while working here.... As if you're the one who's not satisfied with you're job" His voice took a more serious note and asked the question you always tried to push away but for the first time, you felt safe. Safe in talking about things what most people around you would call blasphemy.
"Yeah well, I wouldn't say it's my life's calling. It's basically following the ideals that has been written by others and just blindly following them day in and day out", just as you finished your sentence you realised how shallow and sad you just sounded but the slightly widened eyes of Geto was what made you mentally kick yourself before you hastily try to smooth things over.
" But! It's not that bad! Once you get used to-", after a few lighthearted words to clear the heavy atmosphere that was building up you were cut off with one long finger hovering just above your lips.
" It's okay, you don't have to worry about being judged with me", not touching your lips he quickly retreats his hand back,
"It's only natural to question your ideals and beliefs when you actually start thinking about them, it's a proof of growing up. I can say it was the same for me as well, I had thought I'd spend my whole life sequestered in 'that' place but...." His gaze takes on a far off quality as his words fade.
"What changed then?", Without even knowing why, you urged him to continue.
"Well, I grew up and realised mine were just idealistic views, far from practical."
"Wait! How old are you now?!", Unable to ignore your budding curiosity you went on,
With a soft flick to your cheek he snorted in amusement, his low baritone made you recognise your own rudeness as you rub the non existent pain off of your face.
"It's not polite to ask strangers their age, regardless of their gender, young lady".
"I'm sorry! It's just, your answer...... Was kinda vague so...." Trailing off, the fact that he didn't owed you any explanations dawned on you making you stop. But the sudden halt in your unabashed questioning didn't go unnoticed by the long haired man so he continued, as if reading your thoughts.
"Everyone's entitled to act idiotically every once in a while but you sure are abusing your privilege", he went on, after a few words of sass.
" It took a while but, I soon discovered my true feelings about the world I lived in and how I wanted to change it", The unshakeable conviction of his voice reverberated through your ears and there seemd to be more to the hint of darkness in his downcast eyes, but further questions left your brain as you felt genuine resolve through his words.
Before you could process what's happening, Geto pulled you in close, resting his hands on either side of the brigde railings, caging you inbetween the low wall and his body.
"How about we run away to a better world together?", not waiting for you to protest he spoke. The words falling from his lips were casual enough to make you overlook the outrageousness of their meaning and your oddly intimate position did nothing to stop your brain from short circuiting.
"The decision is yours y/n but I'll be waiting anyway," his voice seems to trail a little before he bends down, his thin lips ghosting over your right ear, " you see, I hate it when even the good gets destroyed along with the bad", with that he quickly pulles his body back, letting you have your personal space again.
"I'll come back here at 8 'o' clock tonight",
After announcing that smoothly, he turns his back away and walks off to the exit, leaving you gob smacked at his confusing words.You watch him saunter off, still to awestruck to move when you finally take a note of your own unsteady breaths and face that radiated heat rivaling the sun atop.
" Who would- even go along with that crazy idea", your meek words get lost in the now empty place but the longing in your eyes to see what lied beyond your conservative lifestyle was as clear as the autumn sky hanging above.
You turn your back on the place and jog off in an effort to escape your own complicated feelings on the matter. His casually spoken words clawed at your heart, an entire different life was just one step away and it was shocking to even you how much trust you were subconsciously putting in every single word he says.
The conflicting thoughts in your head kept you busy the entire walk from the bridge to at the door of the only home you had known for so many years and never once your feet held such hesitation as you entered the building to continue the tasks you had left behind for the momentary change you craved so much.
The evening passed by in a flash, the thumping of your heart only getting louder with each passing hour. You just got out of your bath and were getting ready to help with dinner when you heard two voices coming form one of the senior priestess's room
"I saw her talking to a man, he didn't looked like a -", their words weren't clear but one thing was. Their topic of discussion was you.
"No he was wearing a hakama", it was getting harder and harder to breath with every second. If they were to tell that to your other supervisors then it would become very difficult for you to live here.
"So he could be from a neighbouring temple, maybe just asking about something general?"
"But weren't they standing too close?"
Listening in from behind the door all you could make out was that they clearly saw you and Geto, but one thing was certain. You were about to be very strictly reprimanded for just having curiosity.
Before you could even think up of some excuses to get yourself out of this mess the previous offer of his night time rendezvous flashed in your mind. It got you thinking, if you were going to be made to stay under supervision for a while anyway then the least you could do was to meet Geto one more time so as to let him know that his idea was indeed crazy and that life wasn't that easy for you to give up on everything you've done until now just on a whim.
You couldn't exactly get to a proper conclusion, sure leaving seemed like the better option but the fact that you'll be heavily dependent on Geto for everything didn't sit will with you either. It's not like you had any other skills or connections and even if he said he'd take you with him, you weren't fully ready to trust him on that. Why would you? It's not like you two were connected or related in any way.
The meeting time was approaching fast and since it's dinner time soon most of the girls would be around the dining area to help. It was the perfect opportunity to slip out unnoticed and come back after explaining things to the kind person who brought a few extra colors in your dull life.
Shakily you made you way to the back door, knowing full well you're about to commit another offense.
In a few minutes you reached the bridge, it was empty right now, indicated that your are ether early or that maybe Geto was actually just messing with you and oddly enough you felt your stomach drop at the thought of the second option.
But before you could overthink out the negative options you sense eyes on your back and whirl around to see a happy looking Geto strutting towards you.
" I take it you have decided to entrust yourself to me?", Greeting you with his self assured words he smiles amicably at you.
" Actually- I've decided to not leave", you say, with both sadness and regret in your voice.
He listenes to you in silence, his face doesn't look convinced no matter how much you explain but he never interrupts you until you're finished.
" So, Is that what you really want? To rot in a place which binds you to unnecessary obligations?", He blankly says, after you're done.
"It's only natural to lose something in order to attain greater things y/n", steping in your personal space again he peers at you face, his eyes were slited enough to hide their true intentions yet leaving just enough space for the moonlight to give them an otherworldly glow.
His beautiful face just centimetres away from yours and before you can finish he grabs you by the chin and delivers a mind blowing kiss.
This wasn't good for your heart. Your previous resolve was melting, just like the rest of you. Geto quickly slipped his hot tongue inside your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny of it.
"Why are you going so far?", You ask, still not entirely convinced.
" Because we are the same, that's why I know what you want and I can give that to you. So trust me okay?", A few seconds pass as you both stare into each other, when you finally heave a sigh of defeat.
" I do want more than just a life of modesty,", having changed you decision yet again you look up at the man in a renewed resolve.
"That's my girl!", Almost excitedly he envelopes you in a warm hug,
"Well y/n? How exactly do you want to celebrate your new found freedom? ", giving his words a suggestive tone he leaned forward to press his lips against your ear, placing light kisses up and down its lobe.
A surge of heat runs through your confounded heart, voice raspy as you reply " Ofcourse I want to do it with you", the snickering above you made you realise the innuendo your words held,
" I meant the celebration! It as in the CELEBRATION OKAY?!", Frantically, you push against his chest to break your embrace, trying to explain the simple meaning behind your previous words but even so, you'd be lying to yourself if you said that the thought of sleeping with him never crossed your mind.
The unmarried virgin criteria you had to fulfill in order to be a shrine maiden was in the past now. So you couldn't find any reason to hold back now.
" I'd be an honor," Geto's melodious voice reverberated through the entire room and you whip your head upwards to look for the confirmation you needed.
With minimal amount of words Geto took you to a near by cottage, saying he atleast wanted your first time to be in a proper place. You thought he was staying at just a room in that cottage but it turned out he had rented the entire place.
For you, it was quite a luxurious thing, while it was something you'd love to revel in, you had other, more important matters to give your attention too.
With a soft click, Geto opens the bedroom door and ushers you in, you breathing coming out irregular, and you were almost shaking in both excitement and nervousness.
What if he doesn't like how I look like naked? Would he like it better if I had shaved? Wait- I hope I'm not wearing my ugly panties today!. While you were freting the small details, the long haired man quietly made his way towards the bed, where you sat, buring his face at the crook of your neck as his arms wrap themselves around you.
"White suites you",His voice rumbled in your ears, his tone as smooth and sweet as honey when he slipped his hand inside the collar of your top, parting the neatly tucked fabric until your chest was exposed. The sudden contact with the air and his hands made your nipples perk up. He fondles them a little while kissing up your neck and shoulders.
Slowly he undos the cloth belts that tied your red hakama to place and eventually you feel them loosen up and then down to the ground, leaving you in just your open white kosode.
Being so exposed in front of a man and that too for the first time made you instinctively cover your chest and crotch, but it was pointless really, because even your hands couldn't hide the dampness of your panties from the sharp eyes that seems to look straight through your meek attempt at modesty.
"Come on, show me everything", his eyes met yours, all attention on you and it was almost disconcerting how vulnerable his eyes made you feel.
Felling a warm rush of blood to your face, you slowly loosen the grip of your hands around your body, letting Suguru pry them off until they rested limply on your sides. Slowly you lie down flat on your back, shyly looking away.
"Getting embarrassed is fine, but there's no need to hid yourself, It's only natural to want to look at your lover's body",He says it with such low, sweet, seduction that your toes curl in response, the word 'lover' ringing in your ears sent your heart in a frenzy.
Slipping the rest of your garments off of your shoulders he gently kisses your ear, licking the contours of your jaw and all the way to the hollow of your throat. His mouth nibbed at the skin beneath as his smooth tongue caressed the marks it left behind.
Soon he latched his lips onto on of your nipples, his teeth grazing the hardened tips pulled a few moans out of you, his long hair tickled your skin wherever they fell and it took everything in you to stop yourself from grabbing onto them.
Moving lower, he soon reached your pussy, already dripping with arousal. You felt his breath on your folds as spreaded them with one of his hand and gave the smooth space inbetween a long lick.
Sucking on your clit with fervor, his arms around your hips traced it's dips and curves as he delves deeper into your moistened sex. Your moans were inevitable at this point, the feeling his mouth in the most intimate part of your body was making you shiver in ecstasy but as soon as he brought his hand near your hole you felt your thighs clench.
"Don't worry I'll only use one finger at a time to get you all nice and ready for later" Gentle reassurances flowed naturally out of his mouth as he covers his fingers in your slick before spreading your pussy more.
His digits push past your folds and buries themselves deep into your throbbing pussy, the sensation of being penetrated both new and arousing. Geto slowing moves his finger in and out as his tongue latches on to your clit again.
The sensations of being licked and fingered together intermingled in your body, bringing you closer to your release in no time. Although it was a good thing you didn't wanted to end it so quickly. He was undeniably good with his hands, knowing when exactly to add another finger or when to curl or rub them inside.
Maybe it's because it was your first time but the onslaught of your orgasm leaves you shaking and moaning wildly in the most unladylike ways you have ever acted. It was embarrassing how much you ended up enjoying while Geto did all the work.
Though he pushes you to your limit you can't help but want to watch his every movement, anticipation building inside you when he raises his head and props himself on his knees to get a better look at your blissed out face. You let out a sigh of longing as he bought his glistening digits to near your face as a proof of you how good he made you feel.
" I'm glad you like it honey", his voice dangerously seductive, he licks his fingers just as erotically, making you embarrassed.
" Let's move onto the part where you cum on my cock now shall we?", His crudeness may have been shocking but right now all you cared about was the cumming part so you let him manhandle your throbbing form until he properly lines himself up against your hole.
Suguru didn't removed his cloths fully, just loosened his hakama just enough to whip his member out.
" Deep breaths now y/n", his gentle guiding eased your mind, and so you relax your body to take him in because even if it's your first time, you were pretty sure he was big enough to make anyone ache.
A warm tingling pain tears through your core which soon mealted into something more euphoric, unbearably good even, making you cry out in ecstasy. He filled you up to the brim and you wondered how bad it will ache tomorrow. As soon as he bottomed out in you, the entire aura of the person about you changed and the room felt like it dropped a few degrees in temperature.
It was not what you'd expected as your first time. Not the painfully rough speed he started with. Not the large hand around your neck that threatened to cut off your air supply. And certainly not the cold, detached look in his face.
Even when your breathing was getting shallower by the second you still writhed in pleasure. It was alarming as to how much you were willing to entrust your entire self to Suguru who was nothing if not composed, keeping his hand firmly around your neck while thrusting his member in and out of your pussy, fucking you like some sort of rag doll.
Long gone was the mild mannered person you looked up at with heart eyes, maybe he was just different in bed, that's what you wanted to tell yourself but the lack of consent and the level of his roughness kept you from doing so.
He eventually let go of your neck, only to flip you on your stomach and shoved his cock inside from an even deeper angle. He didn't let you tap out until you came twice, with your third orgasm approaching just as fast.
The sumptuous heat from his body lingers on yours for sometime even after he pulls himself out
And you felt that the longer you stayed in his embrace, the more darkness seeped into you which would surely make you go numb eventually
You wanted to ask Geto what was happening but a few broken screams were the only thing you could make out, everything was sudden, how the pain made your vision go white to then pitch black and as your consciousness left your body all you could hear was Geto's calm voice.
" Next time you wake up, well be in a better world"
The few rustling sounds of fabric brought you back to the waking world, the dark blue skies outside with flashes of gold inbetween told you it was just the crack of dawn.
You slowly prop yourself up in a sitting position to look around the unfamiliar room.
You catch your reflection in the nearby window next to your bed, you looked the same save for the few indecipherable marks here and there.
" Good morning y/n", Quickly looking at your right, you see Geto just walking out of the bath, his mascular form only covered by a thin cottan kimono.
He was behaving normally, as if the events of last night didn't happen. So normally that you were starting to think you may have hallucinated the whole thing.
Walking towards your sitting form, Geto bends down to cup your jaw and layers his mouth on yours, the scent of his shampoo tingling your senses almost made you forget about everything else.
He breaks the kiss, gazing at your downcasted eyes, the heat from your face made him chuckle.
"Quite an innocent reaction considering all the things we've done", he smirks triumphantly at you, his eyes a mix of dark but intense passion. All the things huh. You thought. Your mind was still in a haze and it was talking longer to process your words and thoughts.
"What happened last night?, I can't remember everything properly", you were expecting straight answers, that how did you passed out or where you exactly were right now but Geto seemed to go off on his own tangent.
You were just like my past self,", were, he said. As if you're something else now. The man in front of you was changing his colors faster than you could comprehend his words and it was terrifying you.
"That's why it's my duty to show you everything that life has to offer, the entire extent of it. As long as you stay by my side.", Not paying an ounce of attention to your shocked state he want on,
" The people you were staying with before were only going to confuse you further, that's why I had to take you away".
"You are the most free and safest at my side, darling. But if you still want your preistess life back then, I'll be your god and you can spend the rest of your life worshipping me instead"
Of course, he didn't saw you as an equal who could stand beside him, you weren't even his lover, just someone below him who he needed to worship the ground he walked upon in. But even so, the fear you experienced just a few minutes ago dissipated, bringing back the curiosity that was at its height whenever he was around.
"Were you lonely?",Geto's eyes trailed up and down your face which halted in their track after hearing your words which oddly resembled pity.
" What-", the previously composed and slitted eyes expanded a little before his expression abruptly shifts, turning serious, making you flinch under its sharp gaze, the animosity that surrounded him contrasted with the previous tender kisses and touch.
With his one large hand he grabbed your face from the base of your jaw, painfully lifting it up until your entire body was a few centimetres above the surface of the bed.
" Listen up y/n, I didn't brought you here to dote on you and the only reason I wiped out your silly little shrine because I can't stand hypocrites who spread false teachings written by equally hypocritical people. It was your job to worship things you couldn't see before and now you have to do the same job for someone you can see. That's. All."
"Ofcourse, leaving isn't an option.I've turned your body into a reincarnated curse. If any of the Jujutsu tech people caught you roaming around, it'll be instant exorcism for you." He lets go of your face and sits next to your form, Geto was quite for a while, giving you time to sort out your own feelings on the matter.
You knew what was happening now. Inbetween those conceited words flashes of the warm blooded man behind the god slipped out and you had to resist the overwhelming urge to comfort the person who just confessed to have burnt down the shire you were living in just until a few days ago. Maybe your thought process was altered just like the rest of you body, or maybe you were always this crazy too.
The source of your sympathy was unknown but the twisted obsession of his was provided you with more solid answers.
Your meeting, the conversations, how you eloped together. All of it made sense now. He wanted to save you from the oppressive state of the place you had spend most of your life in, ofcourse he would. He was thinking of you in ways no one ever had. He loved you in ways no one ever will, or could for that matter.
And you,
You loved him too. You had to.
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talkfantasytome · 3 years
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Going to delete ask posts that directly linked other people's posts, based on this feedback and suggestion (which I thoroughly appreciate!), as I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone or directly tell a specific person they're wrong. I'll repost the general content, with a summary of what was asked, starting with this post.
Anon Ask: Some people are saying that SJM has confirmed Vassien by saying that she'd like to do retellings of firebird legends, swan lake, and Vasilisa the Beautiful, using some shots of her comments. What are your thoughts on this? And the time on facebook that Sarah said E\ain and Lucien have a lot of "tension, growth, and healing to be found (together)".
The most important thing to consider here is timeline. Both of the twitter shown were made in April of 2015. The first one is, honestly, fairly irrelevant. First of all, she's just saying fairy tales she might like to retell. And, for the record, she has also said she'd like to do a retelling of The Little Mermaid, yet often people disregard that as an argument for Gwynriel. So, either her comments on what she'd like to do a retelling of matter, or they don't.
And, if they're saying that those comments are foreshadowing a Vassa + Lucien book, then clearly The Little Mermaid comments are foreshadowing a Gwynriel book. And then...where's E\ain's?
E\ain is getting a book, so which fairy tale gets the short straw?
Or, maybe, the story won't be exactly like the fairy tale.
I do think that both of those comments are important, but Sarah said she wants to do a retelling.
That could literally mean anything. All that tells us is that she will take themes and ideas from the story. I'm not saying Vassa won't be important in a later book, but Sarah can retell the story any way. She could have Vassa betray E\ain, get Koschei to transfer the curse over to the middle Archeron, and now E\ain is the swan on the lake (cause, come on, E\ain's def. a bit swan-like), and Lucien has to rescue her. Or, maybe Jurian is the one that rescues Vassa while Lucien and E\ain deal with Koschei?
There are so many options in a retelling that to say SJM telling us she wants to do a retelling of these stories is a clear sign that Vassa + Lucien are endgame is, honestly, not a very critical analysis.
I'm going to address this tweet next:
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This twitter exchange happed April 30, 2015. ACOMAF was published in May of 2016. This post can not be used as foreshadowing of Vassa + Lucien, because it happened before we found out E\ain and Lucien are mates. That "at some point further down the road" literally means "any time after book 1".
People keep using this tweet and presenting it as if Sarah's response came recently. They're spreading misinformation - it may not be purposeful, they may not have seen or noticed the date, but this twitter exchange can't be used as proof that Lucien's person has to be someone other than E\ain, because when it was made we did not know about the Lucien and E\ain possibility.
That doesn't mean it definitely is talking about E\ain, but my point is that this is not proof of Vassa + Lucien, of someone else + Lucien, because of when it was posted.
As for other comments on retellings Sarah would like to do - it's the same argument as the first one. Sarah said she wants to do a retelling of the firebird and swan like. We all know this. It's not new information. People who are saying Vassa + Lucien won't happen aren't ignorant of this fact. We're well aware, and we're also well aware of every other thing Sarah has said, mentioned, foreshadowed, and we're tying it all together. Focusing solely on stories Sarah has mentioned she'd like to retell - not confirmed she will retell - and ignoring everything else doesn't provide a solid analysis. You have to weave how those stories would fit into the grander scheme, and look at the other surrounding factors as well.
And, again, we need to remember that Sarah can do whatever the hell she wants in terms of the story and how she chooses to retell a fairy tale. I mean, how often is Little Red Riding Hood turned into a werewolf story? And sometimes even Red is the wolf?
Writers use fairy tales as a base, a foundation, but then they make it their own. No writer is going to tell the fairy tale exactly how it first was. They're going to adjust it...a lot...to make it their own story.
I'd also like to point out that both times she mentions Vasilisa, she says "Vasilisa the Beautiful". The first time she also said 'the Brave', but the second, solely 'Beautiful'. Vassa is beautiful, of course, but one of E\ain's defining characteristics is her beauty. Even in ACOSF it was again mentioned, discussed, about how her beauty made others hate her.
Could Vassa be Vasilisa...of course. However, I think people are a bit blinded by the similarities in names. Remember, Vasilisa the Beautiful wasn't the firebird - those are different stories. And, honestly, after doing a bit of research into the tale, I'm starting to get more and more sure of the thought that the character who would portray Vasilisa is E\ain.
I think I'm going to do a post on it...
In the later comment on retellings she'd like to do - which we know came after the first as the first came out in August 2015 and that story she's telling was given after the second set of books was confirmed - I also find it interesting that she said Vasilisa the Beautiful (specifically) and Swan Lake, subbing out the firebird.
Why would she do that? Perhaps because she's already brought in the firebird pieces she planned to bring in. We already know that retelling, and how it's come to play. Vassa is a firebird by the curse.
I'm not saying it couldn't end in a Swan Lake thing, as that is what the curse reminds me of. But, personally, I think the fact that she's saying Swan Lake now is also symbolic of something more, possibly another character getting trapped by Koschei.
As for the other piece you asked about, I don't have much to say about it, because it feels like the closest we'll come to an elucien confirmation.
That was also posted a while ago, back when ACOMAF came out. So, it's not like this is recent information Sarah is providing us. However, we know that Sarah can sometimes end up choosing endgame based on gut and things that just hit her. Cassian and Nesta - literally didn't know about them until she wrote them on the same page and was like "oh shit". So Sarah saying that she and Lucien didn't see E\ain coming...I'm sorry, but that feels almost more telling than even the next part of the sentence - where she says they have growing and healing to do together.
That's so huge. And we haven't seen that yet. We've only really seen the tension.
Sarah said this back when ACOMAF came out. And it was around writing or publishing ACOWAR that she got the okay for the second set of books (I think?). Which means she was likely thinking about the longer-term stories before that. Which would explain why we didn't get that growth and healing in ACOWAR.
Instead, she left them in a spot where it seemed like a possibility, and then for the later books has just added more tension. But that journey is still there. She's had it planned for so long. And yes, maybe she could change her mind, but we only know of two cases where she did just that:
Az and Mor
Nesta and Lucien
For Az and Mor it was because she decided to make Mor bisexual and unable to be in an emotional relationship with a male. This was due to complaints over diversity. It's the closest Sarah's probably come to 'fanservice' - except, admittedly, this is so not fanservice. Fanservice is doing something like, say, having Voldemort and Bellatrix have a secret love child despite the fact that Voldy never once came off as having any form of romantic or sexual feelings for her or anyone, ever. (Seriously, that guy was asexual and that is a hill I'll die on.)
Adjusting a character due to legitimate complaints and concerns on diversity, not just fanservice. It's more a full on social service, really, to try and provide that representation better. Yes, it wasn't done in the best way, but she did make an attempt.
The second one - Nesta and Lucien. That was her general plan, until she put Nesta and Cassian on page together. Then it all went out the window. Just like all of Nesta's thoughts when she saw Cassian. Just like Cassian's entire brain when he saw Nesta. 👀
And we get it, because we see it too.
So, while Sarah could have changed her mind about E\ain and Lucien, the only reasons she'd do that don't yet apply. She's already made a change for the diversity complaints, and I don't see her doing that with these two. As for finding out they actually belong with someone else when she sees them on page - well, that hasn't happened yet. She made the E\ain + Lucien decision after we see E\ain and Azriel interact, so clearly Az is not that for E\ain. And we've seen Lucien and Vassa on page together. There's nothing there except Lucien being pained about her curse - which, yeah, she's his friend. How often is one IC member described as looking pained for another? Or thinks about how much it hurt them to see their friend hurt?
But we know what it looks like when the chemistry is so undeniable it will adjust Sarah's plans. And if you're not sure - go back and read all the Nessian scenes in ACOMAF. And then see the one scene where Lucien and Vassa are on page together - I think you'll find there's another male there that, with Vassa, rings closer to the Nessian home.
There was no on page chemistry between Vassa and Lucien, and certainly not enough to change Sarah's mind. Which would also mean E\ain already wasn't meant for Az, which is likely why no one arguing for Vassa + Lucien seems to care as much about that, because most people who ship them are already dead set on E\ain + Azriel.
So, there you have it, my point of view/rant on those two pieces. But it's always important to look at the context of a post, and especially the "source material" people use to provide proof. It's why I tend to stick to the text where I can, and only use SJM statements that don't have an expiration date to their importance. SJM saying something about how she loves happily ever afters, for example, no expiration date. SJM telling us in 2015 that there is someone special for Lucien down the road - an expiration date after the first sign of a possible love interest for Lucien. Once E\ain was declared to be his mate, that statement became irrelevant, because regardless of whether it will be E\ain or not, you can no longer state that it's clearly hinting at someone else, since E\ain is a love interest for Lucien.
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starlightxsvt · 4 years
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Hellion
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pairing: Jeonghan x female reader
genre: fluff, suggestive, idk what this is
warnings: cursing
word count: around 1.5k
A/N: Firstly, happy birthday to the Jeonghan, our con man. I know I'm a day late so forgive me for that. Secondly, I've no idea what the hell I wrote. I've cancelled two other drafts I wrote for his birthday cause none of them were coming together and in the end I've decided to post this shit. Anyway, your feedback would be really appreciated in this mess of a story :').
"What's Jeonghan doing here?" You hiss to Mingyu who has a hard time prying his eyes off of Chaeyeon. "I invited him. I never thought he'd actually come. I'm surprised too." He replies.
"Wha- why would you invite Jeonghan to my birthday party!" You glare at him to which he rolls his eyes, "Come on now, he's in our friend group. And college is almost over. You don't know when you'll see him again. Ogle him while he's still here." He smirks.
"What did you just s-"
"Oh come on, don't act like I don't know that he's your secret crush. Maybe make up with him and if you're lucky you'll get some good dick as a birthday present." Mingyu chuckles at your open mouth before scurrying away to avoid your wrath. You glare at his retreating figure before inhaling sharply. And before you can stop yourself, you start to look for him.
You spot Jeonghan at the large porch in the back of Mingyu's house, sitting in one of the porch seats while sipping beer. He looks dashing as always, his black hair messy, his pale skin glowing in the moonlight, his cheekbones getting a prominent shine. You sigh.
Jeonghan was an exhausting person to be around and maybe, he'd say the same for you. You've known him since highschool and after a particular incident of him spilling his banana milk all over your brand new scarf, you decided to call it war. To this day you believe that he did it on purpose because you told your homeroom teacher that he slept during his class.
After that it was like an unspoken rule- you two would bicker whenever you were in the same space. It only infuriated you that he was so good looking, smart, famous and the fact that you had some feelings developing for him. Each time you saw him with a girl you'd feel a bitter feeling all over and you could only hope that those feelings would pass over time. But no they didn't, they only grew- the small branches had formed a tree now, the roots planted deep in your heart.
"How long are you going to stand there and stare at me?" Jeonghan calls, without turning behind. You clear your throat before walking to him, "Didn't expect to see you here, fuck face."
"Can you not call me names for a day please? You're just jealous I'm good looking." He remarks drowning the can of beer.
You snort, "Haha. You wish, loser." You plop down beside him. "I see you've finished quite a few cans. What's up? Got ditched?" You poke him.
"What do you care?"
"You're ruining the mood here with all these sad aura around you. Go drink your sorrows away somewhere else, this is my party."
"Yet you are sitting with me and my sad auras."
"I came to tell you that," you scoff, crossing your arms over.
"Parties are not your thing, I know. And Mingyu wasn't shy on inviting people. It feels more like his birthday than yours." Jeonghan comments, still staring ahead. His words are true and they infuriate you. You can't help but get defensive, "What do you know, sad boy? I'm enjoying myself just fine."
"And yet you are sitting with me and-"
"Stop saying that, will you!" You snap. Jeonghan chuckles before looking at you. He unabashedly eyes you up and down, heating your cheeks up in the process.
"Nice dress," he murmurs. His words catch you off guard and you glare at him, "Stop staring at me, pervert."
"You were staring at me earlier."
"Seriously? Can you stop for one goddamn second?"
"You're the one who started it."
"That's it. I shouldn't have come here," you stand up to leave but to your utter surprise Jeonghan grabs your hand, sending your heart to a frenzy. "Wait."
You swallow nervously, heart thudding loudly in your chest as Jeonghan lets go of your hand and meets your eyes, "Sit down, I've a gift for you."
You frown, "You have a gift for me?" Jeonghan nods before sitting straight, setting down his can. "Before that, I need you to know something."
"W-what?"
"I really didn't spill my milk all over you intentionally that day." He meets your eyes.
You can't help but laugh out loud partially because he's still concerned about that and partially because you believe he's lying.
"Listen here, sad boy, I've put that well past me. And I know for a fact you did it on purpose so don't-"
"You didn't, ___. We've been fighting over that for our whole goddamn lives. And no, I'm not lying. I've no reason to. I never cared if you told our teacher shit or not." His chocolate orbs bore into yours and you swallow. The air surrounding you suddenly becomes thick and you start to feel jittery and maybe a slight amount of guilt. Is he really speaking the truth?
"W-whatever, I don't care anymore." You say, sitting down gently beside him.
"And yet you still hold a grudge against me," Jeonghan sighs. "Besides you're not even fun to fight with."
"What did you say?"
He laughs, his eyes forming crescents and the sweet melody echoing in the air. You quickly look away before he catches you staring, "I don't have all day. Where's my gift?"
"Yeah, right." From beside him he produces a bag that you didn't notice before. He hands it to you and you tentatively peek in, half expecting a bug to jump out.
To your utter surprise, a scarf that looks identical to the one he ruined lies there. A small gasp leaves your mouth.
"I bought it that day after I stained yours. I was going to give this to you as an apology but dear lord, you were on my ass the second I got to class next day." Jeonghan speaks and a blush coats your cheek leaving you feel vulnerable all of a sudden.
"I don't know what to say," You whisper more to yourself. Jeonghan chuckles, "I know, you're touched. It's okay, we're even finally."
You bite your lip and exhale loudly before meeting his eyes, "Thanks." Jeonghan moves his hand in a dismissive wave. "I thought I'd finally give it you, call it a truce. We'll probably never see each other again after this month and I wanted to depart on good terms."
Your throat constricts, an overwhelming sadness enveloping you. He's right, you two would probably never see each other again. His dad owns a huge business and he'd probably go abroad to manage it.
"You're right, let's call it a truce," you whisper staring at the scarf in your lap.
"Come on now, don't look so sad, sad girl," Jeonghan teases you and you roll your eyes. He's still the same.
He hands you a beer, "Have a drink with me to sign the truce." You quietly laugh, taking the can from him. You two share a comfortable silence, staring at the night sky, the music from the party fading into the background until Jeonghan decides to break it.
"I know you like me, ___." The words slip past his lips like it's the most casual thing ever. You choke on your beer before looking at him eyes wide like saucers, "W-what!"
Jeonghan slightly turns to face you, his features calm, "You don't have to act. I've known all along."
Oh. My. God.
Heat spreads all over your face like wildfire. Your first thought is that Mingyu told him. You chew your lip as you see no way out. "W-who told you?" You squeak.
"I've figured it out myself," He says nonchalantly, resting his head on his hand as you stares at you.
"You-you did?"
"Mhmm."
You fumble with the hem of your dress before murmuring out, "I-I should get going." You need to escape him. Forever.
But Jeonghan isn't done. He casually goes on, "I've always thought you were pretty. Even when you get red after losing an argument." You blush furiously as your palms sweat.
"You know I really had no intention of picking a fight with you but you...you were so desperate to bring me down. You always speak too much and I often think about the many ways I could shut your loud mouth. Such a shame, we would've made a great couple."
Your face feels like it's on fire by now. You swallow before nervously laughing, "I s-see what you're doing here...You're trying to p-prank me, asshole."
Jeonghan runs a hand through his hair, sighing, "See? There you go again, running that damn mouth." Your lips press together as you clench your fists, thinking of a way out. In the blink of an eye Jeonghan scoots closer to you and leans in to capture your lips in a kiss.
A squeak leaves your mouth as Jeonghan tilts your head, cupping your cheek. You want to pull back, smack him, call him names but you can only moan as his mouth slots against yours perfectly. Your tongues clash as you grab a fistful of Jeonghan's shirt, moaning.
When you pull back for air, you're mortified, wanting to be swallowed up by the ground. Jeonghan is totally calm as he takes in your messy state licking his lips.
"Do you want to continue?"
"W-wh-what?"
"I said do you want to continue this? If you don't want to I'll leave. If you do then you're coming home with me. Which one is it gonna be, ___?"
You bite your lip. Oh my God. This can't be happening.
You grit your teeth as every ounce of your resolve disappears, "I...I want you."
The smile on Jeonghan's face is victorious, a smile you've seen million times before, a smile that makes you week in the knees. "Good girl." He says encasing your lips in another kiss before standing up holding out his hand. "Come along, sweetheart. I'm gonna ruin you for any other man. Even when it's morning you'll only be thinking about me," he whispers in your ear before tugging you out of the porch- your heart hammering in your chest as you squeeze the scarf on your hand.
Fuck, you owe Mingyu a fruit basket or some shit now.
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A/N 2: Also, that video of Jeonghan exercising made me 🥵🥵 this man is so infurating. I was literally dehydrated from watching that video.
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therubyjailcell · 3 years
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One Step At A Time, We'll Go On - [Remus & Dee bonding fic]
A/N: This is a short thing that I wrote as a small snipet of my characters in the RP I have going on currently with my boyfriend, @clownchecked​ ! And because it wasn't really an interaction per se, seeing as I'm playing both of them, I was originally planning on writing a short thing to send him, but it ended way longer than planned, so might as well make it a short fic. Enjoy~
Summary:
Virgil and Remus have been dating for a while now. Their relationship was kind of a mess, to be honest. Except Virgil got 3 kids, only one of which is Remus's, and his teen child is not liking Virgil having a new boyfriend. And Remus would like Dee not to feel trapped in their own house again.
TW: Reference to a dead character (Logan), family conflicts
Ship: Background Dukexiety, past Analogical
WC: 1804
Listen - Remus had made up his mind a while ago. He was pretty sure he'd known since they got together, actually, but he'd come to terms with the fact that he really wanted this and that he would do it for real, a while back still. The only other step before proposing to Virgil was, in Remus's opinion, Dee.
Hear him out: Dee might be Virgil's kid (and not the one who made the decision anyway), they still were very important and had to be taken into account. Especially since they were barely allowing Remus to be in the same room - though that was getting so much better lately, and Remus definitely had noticed how, even though they still wouldn't start the conversations, they actually did exchange convos with him now. Either way, he wanted them to know beforehand what he was planning, and to, y'know. Agree to it. Remus's goal had never been to make life harder for Virgil nor Dee, and he wanted to make sure Dee was okay, because despite them doing their best to show how much they despised him, Remus actually cared for Dee. And while they still had to learn that Virgil wanted Remus to move in with the rest of them, he figured they were smart enough to know what would follow, and that this would at least feel like they were in control of things. And yes, Remus would wait if Dee refused, he did want to show them they could at least trust that he would respect their boundaries.
All in all... He was so stressed about this. He had gotten a ring custom made to be unique, and to be honest, he hoped Dee would at least hear him out.
Dee wasn't stupid, alright? They could very much see that Remus was definitely a permanent feature now, and that he was spending more and more time over. They weren't sure how to feel about it. But at least the other didn't suddenly move in without warning, they supposed. When they heard a knock at the door that afternoon, while Virgil was busy outside, and Remus was keeping an eye on the littlings and them, they had a feeling that they weren't escaping this conversation. They were doing better though, nowadays. They could tolerate Remus talking to them (with them, even). They also noticed his efforts to keep in mind their boundaries, and how attentive Remus was to them. They had asked Virgil whether he was the one who told Remus about their tastes, and likes and dislikes, only to get a confused look from their dad as he asked why he would share personal stuff about Dee to Remus without asking Dee first. That left Dee with a confused feeling, between the need to cry, and the urge to yell. Anger, sadness, worry, regret, grief - they weren't sure exactly what was causing it, it felt too complicated to entangle it, but they sure felt it.
Either way, that knock meant tough convo ahead - the littlings were napping, and Remus usually worked during nap time, so. This was a real conversation. They weren't sure what to expect, honestly. They hesitantly told Remus to come in, anxiety rising, and Remus made sure to enter slowly, and not to go too far into the room.
"Heya Dee. Think we could have a small chat? Nothing bad, I promise - just wanted to know your opinion on something."
Dee kept quiet for a bit, before they nodded and sat on their bed, discreetly holding onto their plushy, hoping it'd comfort them. Worried kid. Remus definitely noticed, but kept quiet about it, and smiled encouragingly to them. He wanted them to be okay and feel like they could express themself, it was important. He hesitated for a bit, before nodding and giggling a little.
"I'm sorry, I'll be honest, I'm a bit nervous. But I want to preface it all by saying I truly want to know how you feel about the thing I wanna talk about, and that I promise I will respect your opinion, and I won't do anything to go against it. Okay?"
Dee kept quiet, before muttering a "okay", clearly unsure how to respond. It wasn't surprising, they didn't have much to go on, to be fair. Remus took a deep breath, fidgeting with the box in his pocket, before taking it out slowly. Dee was watching him attentively and frowned a bit, confused.
"I would like to ask you if you would be okay with me proposing to Virgil."
The sentence hung there in the air for a bit, Dee staring at Remus silently, their face visibly showing the whirlwind of emotions they were currently feeling. Remus felt bad immediately for dropping this like a bomb.
"I really love your dad, and I would like to marry him at some point. However, I don't want you to be upset by the news, or uncomfortable, or to feel like I'm imposing, so I wanted to ask you first, and well. I'll only follow through if you're okay with it. But if you're not, well... I don't mind. I can wait, it's okay." He smiled at the teen. "It's okay if you're upset, or if you don't want me to propose, I won't hold it against you I promise. And Virgil will never know about any of this either, promise."
Dee kept quiet, looking down as they tried to process everything. Remus wanted to propose... and he wanted them to agree to it first? That felt weird. And very much new, considering they hadn't exactly been warned ahead of time nor asked for their opinion much when it came to Virgil and Remus's relationship. Though the talk with Virgil had helped soften the repeated blows from before, it still felt bad, and Remus asking now felt foreign.
They kept quiet, and this seemed to worry Remus, because the other spoke again. "I promise this isn't me trying to impose nor me trying to force anything on you. And I really do not mind it if you'd rather I didn't propose right now. It's okay, and you're totally valid in how you feel. And I'm not trying to replace your dad either, and I know I'll never be him. Virgil will always love Logan, and I know that, and I promise I'm just asking because I want you to feel okay in your own house."
Oh. Right. Dee looked at their lap at that. Because a marriage led to moving in together, right? Dee hesitated at that, because they really weren't sure they wanted to live with Remus. Though it had gotten better, hadn't it? It wasn't like that at first. And, though they'd never admit to it to anyone else... Remus was kinda nice. He cared for Patton very much, and he took care of both Patton and Thomas, even though he only technically had to do that with Thomas - regardless of what Remus and Virgil, and Patton even, said, Dee still couldn't face the idea of Patton considering someone else his dad too, it was too hard. And even with them, Remus was nice and caring.
And they did have to admit that they didn't mind him being there as much, and it was kinda nice to have the house be... less empty sometimes. Because Remus was loud, and kinda everywhere, and honestly super clumsy, but also super mushy, it felt... familiar, though foreign. Kinda felt like home, sort of. Just slightly to the left. Not to mention how happy Virgil looked - though it always looked kinda upset whenever Dee was around, but that was mostly because Dee had been very awful about Remus, and that probably was why Virgil looked sad or worried so much. Or angry. Either way, Dee didn't like it much, though they felt like they couldn't stop themself from being like that.
Remus had kept quiet since Dee had looked down, and Dee was grateful he hadn't pushed. They considered their next words very carefully, trying to craft an answer that wouldn't feel like a lie, one way or another. But how do you answer a yes/no question when you have so many doubts? Dee wasn't sure. They felt conflicted. They looked at the other and Remus gave them an understanding smile. "It's okay, take your time - I'm not in a rush, I promise."
Dee hesitated before mumbling "Can I see it...? The ring?" and that made Remus lit up. It wasn't quite an answer, but it was something, and he was very happy about it. Especially since that something wasn't them yelling or throwing things at him. He went to sit on the floor next to Dee's bed, and opened the box to reveal a quite frankly beautiful ring. It was black, with purple and green shards in it, that seemed to shimmer and shine, though it was discreet enough, and definitely Virgil's style. Dee teared up - it was magnificent. Their dad would love it, and it clearly showed that Remus cared and paid attention. They gulped a little.
Remus looked at them at that, probably hearing them sniffle a bit, and frowned worriedly. "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong...? I'm sorry if I upsetted you, or anything, I didn't mean to." Dee shook their head and tried to dry up their tears with their fist, but it didn't work that well. Remus closed the box and put it back in his pocket, shifting so he was facing them, and took their hand softly, leaving plenty of time for them to pull away. They didn't, and he squeezed their hand.
"Are you okay?" Dee shrugged at the question. They weren't sure. "That's fair," Remus answered, before humming, "It's okay if you'd rather not answer right away. We got all the time in the world. Would there be anything that could help you feel better? A movie, a tv show - I can even leave the living room if you want to use the TV on your own." Dee shook their head and sniffled before mumbling "Dad'll love it. The ring... He'll love it, and I hope he- I hope he'll be happy with it."
Remus squeezed their hand softly. "I picked it specifically for him, after all... I hope he likes it, like you said." He smiled at the 12 year-old and hummed softly. Dee seemed to relax a little, very much overwhelmed, though the humming did help with grounding.
It took a bit for them to calm down, and they still had a lot of feelings to sort out. But their dad was in good hands, and they should focus on themself - Remus made it clear he was able to wait as long as Dee needed before taking a step forward, and that was something to hold onto.
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years
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Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Four [Pt. 1]
Words: 3k
Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse
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I exhale, turning to look at Nikki where he's laying beside me, a sickly pale tone to his skin, his black hair tangled, his hand that is clinging to mine, covered in tracks, the same appearance as his other hand. 
I can't help but wonder if I bathed him if he'd wake up. He reeks, and he's rough looking, only adding to my guilt. 
Fred gave him a sleeping pill to ease him off of his coke high--he's been freebasing again, just cooking it up in the room's microwave. 
I don't know what the hell to do about him. 
I wish I did. 
Turning over to face him, I brush his bangs out of his eyes, my fingertips lightly dusting over his cheeks, dark circles under his eyes. 
They were supposed to play tonight, but said Nikki came down with the flu and added the show to the second round of U.S. tours lined up for early next year. 
The Nikki I knew would have never put drugs over his music, his fans, and especially not his relationship. 
But, the Nikki I knew also wouldn't have cheated on me…
It's been hard to accept the fact that the Nikki I fell in love with six years ago, isn't around anymore. 
1981
I finish getting my church dress back on, grinning at Nikki as he gets his pants laced back up, the both of us glancing at each other in the back of my car. 
"What's mommy and daddy gonna say when I send their girl back home all turned out?" He asks me, smugly, and I put my heels back on, scoffing. 
"Gee, just come home with me and find out." I shrug. 
"I'll pass." He mumbles, pulling his shirt over his head. 
"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure they'd love you." I nudge him with my elbow. 
"Your mom would piss her granny-panties." He argues, wrinkling his nose a little and I just blink at him. 
"Maybe...but I'm pretty sure my dad would like you." I inform him. 
"Like hell he does." He says to himself and I just let out a breath. 
"So…" I say after a few seconds of silence and he nods a little, awkward tension filling the air around us. 
"...Well." He lets out in the same tone. 
"Good freaking night." I go to open the car door, irritated that he doesn't offer up to hangout and do stuff other than fool around, slamming the door shut.
"Hey, what's up?" He asks me, getting out next, standing by the driver's door, blocking my way. 
"Nothing. I'll see you later." I mumble, nudging him out of my way, opening my door but he's quickly shutting it before I can. 
"Viv, what's--" 
"--I'm gonna start charging you to sleep with me." I state blatantly and his hazel eyes widen, a shit eating smirk on his lips as he chuckles out, "what?" 
"You'd think since we have sex with each other so often it'd at least make us friends, but all you wanna do when we hangout is screw around and then go do whatever with the guys." I tell him. "And, no, this isn't me being a 'typical girl' and developing feelings for you just because we've had sex. It's me being tired of feeling like I'm just being used to get you off." 
"I'm being used to get you off so it's a win-win, is it not?" 
"You sound like Vince." I snap. "All that's happening is I screw you, you screw me, we leave, and don't talk until we're both horny again." 
"Is that not how this works?" 
"The least we can do is get food afterwards or something." I suggest. 
"...Like a date?" 
I gag at the thought. 
"Ew, no." I tell him and he looks confused. "Like, um...I don't know. But since I don't hate you enough to not hook up with you, anymore, I think we could at least get to know who we're hooking up with a little better."
"Friends with benefits?" He clarifies. 
"No, no, we're not friends." I point out and he let me get in my car. 
"I'll see you tomorrow night?" He throws out and I nod. "Wear something pretty--we're going to McDonald's." He smugly smiles and I roll my eyes, holding back a laugh. 
I'm shaking the memory away when there's a knock at the door and I slowly get out of bed, trying not to wake Nikki, slipping my hand from his as my feet hit the hotel carpet. 
I open the door, seeing Mick.
"They wanted us to go ahead and start getting our stuff together to leave." He informs me. "Apparently Guns has some solo shows at some clubs nearby so they're staying behind and we'll back up with them tomorrow night." He informs me and I nod, smiling softly, before he lets out a small breath. "I know you're hurt, and you've got every right to be, but would it not make more sense to file for divorce before you move on, as opposed to moving on before you even really know if you're gonna leave or not?" He asks next, under his breath so Nikki has no way of hearing it. 
"Ask your married girlfriend that before you come at me with it, Mick, alright?" I ask him neutrally, shutting the door in his face before stepping back to the bed, hesitant to wake Nikki up but doing it anyway so we won't be late. 
I wasn't shocked when Mick let on that he knew about Duff and I because, like with me and Nikki, he just knew when something was up.
Looking back, Mick had a point, but at that time he was the last person I wanted to hear it from, because Emi wasn't estranged from her husband, or even on bad terms with him. She was just cheating for whatever reason while her husband stayed in the blissful dark. Mick was "the other woman" therefore he had no place to speak to me about my relationship with Duff.
"Nikki, get up, we gotta get packed." I gently shake him and he groans out. 
"Baby, let me sleep." He mumbles, eyes squeezed closed, face scrunching slightly for a second. 
"We gotta be in L.A. in seven hours, c'mon." I nudge at him again, and his red eyes open, disgruntled, taking a moment before sitting up.
"I did it again last night?" He asks me, rubbing the crust from his eyes as I slip my slippers on. 
"Yep."
"Are they pissed?" 
"They're worried." I inform him. "I'm worried, too." I add, stepping to the door. 
"I'm fine." He says after me.
"Glad to hear it." I open the door, taking a moment to add, "and I'm not 'baby' to you anymore," before leaving. 
I get to my room and get my things packed, being interrupted by a knock at the door. 
When I get it open, Duff is on the other side, wearing nothing but his underwear. 
"I think I left my necklace in here." He tells me and I step aside, watching him grab it from the bedside table before he turns to me and says, "so, you guys are leaving tonight?" He asks me.
"Yeah." I nod. "Gotta go watch Vince walk down the aisle." 
He chuckles and I do, too, realizing how ironic the reality of it is. 
"...Is, um...Nikki okay?" He cautiously questions.
"Yeah." I nod. "I'm sorry I didn't go back to your room last night, I just thought it'd be best if he eased off before I went to bed and then I accidentally fell asleep before I could leave so…" 
"No, no, Viv, it's fine. You still care about him, even though he's shitty sometimes he's still the guy you've been with for the past six years. I'm not upset that you're making sure he's okay." He nods reassuringly. 
Before I can say "okay", there's another knock at my door, and I step to it and open it, Tommy and Vince waiting for me. 
"Ya ready?" Tommy asks, him and Vince both wearing sunglasses. 
"Yeah." I reply, going to zip my suitcase, Tommy following in after me to grab it, taking a double take when he notices Duff. 
"Hey, man."
"Hey." Duff replies, rubbing the back of his neck, before looking to Vince. "Vinnie, you ready to walk down that aisle?" He asks him with a smile.
"Yeah, just so Sharise will stop bitching about wedding details." He responds with a groan in his tone and Duff chuckles. "But her and Skylar are coming back with me for a honeymoon so just be on your best behavior--not that you aren't most times." He adds. 
"Nah, I'll give Slash and Stevie the heads up, though." He assures him. 
"Thanks, dude." Vince says back.
"Alright, see you when we get back." Tommy says, patting at Duff's shoulder. 
"See ya." Duff says to them as they head out. 
"I gotta pee and I'll be down." I lie.
Vince looks at me, oddly, with a small bit of hesitance before he shuts the door and I rub my lips and look at Duff, fumbling with my fingers. 
"You're not breaking up with me already, are you?" He repeats what I asked him before and I smile and shake my head.
"No, no." I grab his hand and tug him closer to me and he kisses my hair, wrapping his arms around me, tightly, and I rest my cheek against his skin. 
"Just have a safe flight, try not to kill anyone." He tells me and I nod.
"I love you." I tell him, looking up at him. 
"I love you, too." He leans down and kisses me, pulling away too soon. "I'll see you tomorrow night."
"See you tomorrow night." I agree, taking a mental picture of his soft grin.
The next day was spent scrambling to keep everyone together--especially Nikki--because Sharise deserved one day to be with Vince without a fight...little did I know the only fight that would occur would be between Vince and I, and not him and Nikki, like I feared.
"Okay," I straighten her veil, examining her dress one last time as she hands me my bouquet, "you look beautiful, Sharise." I assure her and she continues nitpicking possible flaws in the mirror. 
"I know we're already married so this is just a vow renewal or whatever but I'm nervous." She admits to me, fanning at herself a little. 
"There's no reason to be." I tell her. 
"Where's Sky?" 
"With your parents." 
"Where's Tansy?" 
"Getting her dress on." 
"Where's Nikki?"
"In the bathroom." 
"In the bathroom or shooting up?" 
"In the bathroom. Tommy's on smack watch." 
"Okay." She lets out a breath, trying to calm down. "Vince...is he--"
"He's ready to walk when you are." As I say this, the door opens and Nikki and Tansy come in.
"Sharise, the wedding party's waiting for you." Tansy tells her a little shakily. 
I think she's beginning to withdrawal. 
"Alright. Okay." Sharise inhales and exhales. 
"You got this." I promise her. 
"You're right." She nods and I help her with her dress as she heads to the door. 
Nikki, Tommy, Mick, and a couple other guys I've never met that are good friends of Sharise and Vince are wearing their tuxes with a hot pink sash, to match the bridesmaids knee length, hot pink dresses with black tull underlying the skirt. 
We file into line, Nikki and getting in front of Sharise since she's appointed me with Matron of honor. 
"You showered." I mumble to Nikki, impressed. 
"Tommy threatened to spray me off with a water hose. I didn't feel like being cold." He mumbles and I scoff as the music starts, the doors opening to lead outside, where we have to walk down stone stairs to meet in a spacious courtyard. 
"I'm getting war flashbacks." He says next once it's our turn to start walking. 
"From our wedding, yeah, me freaking too." I reply in a hiss. 
"I was gonna say from Tommy's wedding but sure." He scoffs bitterly. 
"Just don't leave this one every fifteen minutes to slip into the bathroom and shoot up." I ignore his comment, the arm that my hand is looped through tenses up and I can feel him glaring at me through his sunglasses. 
"Don't be a fucking bitch." He tells me as we step down the stairs and approach the guests, seeing Vince and the other groomsmen and bridesmaids waiting for us. 
"Little late for that." I point out. 
"And our wedding wasn't even that bad, Viv." He randomly cuts back to our initial back and forth and I fake a smile for the crowd, speaking through my teeth to reply, "Wish I could say the same for the months to follow it." 
We separate at the alter, and I push my feelings aside when I look to see Sharise stepping down the stairs, looking stunning as ever. 
When she gets down here, I'm straightening the back of her dress as she takes Vince's hands. 
The ceremony doesn't take very long, and once the reception comes and all the pictures are done with being taken, I'm ready to get out of this dress--but it's not ready for me to get out of it.
I grind my teeth, dreading asking this bastard for help, but I know he's got his knife and the zipper of my dress is stuck. 
"Nikki," I tap at his shoulder as he downs another glass of wine. 
"What?" He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 
"Can you help me get out of this dress?" I ask him and he suddenly bursts into laughter. 
"I'd rather fuck a pot of boiling hot oil than fuck you." He tells me. 
"No, asshole, I mean literally help me get this off because the zipper is stuck." I explain. 
"Oh." He says, turning me to look at it. "Yeah, I guess." He stands up and I head to the bathroom as he pulls his pocket knife from his pocket.
Once we get to the bathroom, I'm pulling my arms from the sleeves the best I can before I look at him. 
"Just go to sawing away here." I point to the seam that's three-fourths zipped. 
He starts cutting at it, and it soon gets looser and looser to the point there should be plenty of room to finish pushing it down my hips...and I would if his hands weren't steadily holding at my bare sides, his eyes on my back as I look at him in the mirror and wait for him to snap back into reality. 
He never does, and I'm forced to clear my throat to whisk the tension away. 
"Um, I got it from here." I tell him, hinting that his hands on my skin aren't needed.
He just looks at me in the mirror and holds at them tighter, making me go to hit at the tops of his hands, only I realize this is one of the few moments he probably finds peace in because he can pretend, even for a second, that everything isn't screwed sideways. 
I just rest my palms over his hands, making eye contact with him in the mirror, looking us over, and I smile sadly, realizing we won't ever be those people again. 
After his moment is finished, he's gently patting my sides before taking a step back and putting his knife back into his pocket. 
"Thanks, again." I say to him before he goes. "No problem." He mumbles, stepping out. 
I rush back to the bridal suite to avoid being seen half naked, to change into a more comfortable dress.
As soon as I shut the door, I turn around and see Vince nursing a beer, and I jump. 
"Jesus, Vince!" I snap at him, taking a deep breath and he rolls his eyes for a second. "What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him, peeling the dress down my legs, not caring that he's getting an eyeful of me in nothing but skimpy panties since he's seen me completely naked in the pictures of me that Nikki's shown off to him. 
"Hiding from my in laws." He replies, taking another sip of beer. 
"You're not supposed to be drinking." I remind him.
"Who's gonna tell them?" He asks me, raising his brows. 
"Doesn't matter if the state doesn't know--God knows. That's who you'll have to answer to in the end." 
"Oh-Oh, my fuck." He chuckles out, his tongue swiping the inside of his bottom lip. 
"What? You think standing before God and being confronted with the fact you're still drinking after killing your friend in a drunk driving accident is funny?" I hiss at him.
 "I think the bible warns against becoming a drunkard but doesn't it also say, "you must not commit adultery'?" 
My heart pounds in my chest, my eyes wide, and he stands up from his spot on the fluffy parlor chair. 
"So you can give me shit about killing Razzle and still drinking, but every time the sweat on Duff's back dries after he's done fucking you, it's just another nail being hammered into Nikki's coffin, once he finds out." He says, pointing at me with the hand holding at his bottle. "And that blood's gonna be on your hands." He adds. "Not mine." 
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ritchieblackless · 4 years
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Blackmore and Powell's friendship pt III {The last lap}
Well, first of all, thanks to everyone for supporting this mini series (just three post omg) of Cozy and Ritchie's friendship. They were so cute and I think they didn't realize how goals they were....
Also, this part will be more long than the others because it's the last one and because there's a lot to cover in this last lap.
Making 'Down To Earth'
Making that album was important for those two because they were in their own. The band, in a certain way, was no longer Ritchie's band.. Although Ritchie will never admit it, without Cozy's help Down To Earth and his successful career after Cozy left, would have been a little more difficult. Without mentioning that Cozy discovered Joe Lynn Turner.
As Cozy quoted in his 1982 interview.
"He [Ritchie] seems to have more success with Rainbow since I left. I'm really glad for him. -Cozy (Kerrang! 1982)
But returning to the point... As the two dorks were men in charge, due to pulling the new Rainbow out, they had to be closer to each other more than they used to and spending more time together under a lot of stress. Perhaps that was the reason why their friendship quickly wore off.
Anyway... time for quotes! I'll put first the 'Making Down To Earth' quotes and then the 'Woring off friendship' quotes.
"After a while we were going crazy, we couldn't find anybody at all. Then Roger Glover said, 'Well, what about me?' Ritchie asked me what I thought as I'd have to work with the guy and I said, 'Fair enough, I'll give it. try, once I start playing I can never hear anybody else anyway.' So Roger became the bass player." -Cozy. (1979)
(Ritchie knew Roger for years and still he asked to Cozy what he thought about Rog...it shows you that Cozy's opinion was important to Ritchie)
"All the members we've got are very competent at what they do. Don's been playing keyboards for years, Roger's an accomplished bass player, Graham's a great singer... all I've got to do is teach Ritchie a few new chords and we'll be alright." -Cozy (Sounds 1979)
(A little of English humor for y'all. I'll skip the quote where Ritchie says that he would loved having that laugh with Cozy because you already know that one. Where Ritchie tacitly said that he miss Cozy)
Now, the quotes about their, as Cozy called it, battle of wits.
"Cozy and I, we're always trying to outsmart each other. He's a very fast person, him with his cars. Me, with my medieval music, he hasn't got a clue where I'm coming from. So we have our differences, but when we're on stage we click because he wants to be the best drummer and I want to be the best guitarist." -Ritchie (Melody Maker or Sounds 1979)
The next two quotes are from the same paragraph but I divided them because... yes.
"Ritchie and I have argued about their [Graham, Don and Roger] inclusion, well, we have a lot of arguments anyway as you can well imagine. When we don't agree over certain things, he usually wins because it's his band, he started it all in the first place, so I'm not going to knock that. But I will make my opinions heard." -Cozy (Pelo 1979)
Cozy was very strong-willed, also a little stubborn but he'll never lose the respect for Ritchie and his baby as you can well read.
"I'll say what I think to Ritchie and he respects me for it. I think the only reason that I'm still a member of Rainbow is that Ritchie knows that I'll beat him up if he fires me. So we have differences of opinion - in fact it nearly came to fisticuffs at one point in Geneva - but at the end of the day it's usually OK, we have a few drinks and make it up. But it's good all the same, it's healthy. We're men enough to know that united we stand, divided we don't necessarily fall but it's not going to be so easy. So if we stick together we could end up conquering the world. Which'd be nice, wouldn't it?" -Cozy (Pelo 1979)
Awwwww, Cozy... you two already did. He softie.
"We disagree about a lot of things, although we tend to agree upon the end result. I do feel uncomfortable with him in some situations, but we do treat each other with a great deal of respect." -Ritchie (Sounds 1979)
You... you toxic dorks. I'd love to know what that 'Uncomfortable' means.
"I've had thoughts about leaving Rainbow every other month. It's easier to quit, but harder to keep going - and I don't believe in giving up. Ritchie must have been thinking 'I wonder how much longer he's going to take this?' while I was thinking 'how much more can he put up with me?' - it was a battle of wits. This is reflected in the way we play, very aggressive; but in the end we've got great respect for each other." -Cozy (Sounds or Melody Maker 1980) (they in the two interviews say the same so sometimes i get confused but trust me hasha)
I think they were just tired of each other but not tired of being friends but being band mates and driving force.
BUT, although their fights and arguments and all. Ritchie still cared about Cozy. (I'll put a sweet quote just for change the bad taste in mouth of the other quotes)
"I'm speaking for myself and that night I was very sensitive, as in fact I always am, but on that night I felt I could not come across to the audience and I was disgusted with what I was doing. So I came off and I said to Cozy: "Shall we do an encore?" He was very mentally brought down, he'd just done his solo, and so I decided not to do an encore. The whole thing about doing an encore is that it should come from your inner self." -Ritchie. (Sounds 1979)
Is not the first time though. He, in Rainbow, usually wanted to do an encore but then he'd see Cozy, as he said, mentally brought down and as much as Ritchie wanted, he'd not do an encore... just for Cozy.
'After-Rainbow' relationship.
As I showed you in the first part, they ended in very good terms and still being friends and they were still good friends until, of course, Cozy's death.
"Ritchie and I are still really good friends. He came to see us [MSG] while ago. I left the band very amicably way and there's no hard feelings. I just think five years was quite long enough. We'd both seen enough of each other. It's a long time to work with any relationship, especially in an artistic way, it was better to part as friends rather than as enemies." -Cozy. (1982) (it was a cut off article I found in pinterest long ago so i don't know the very source)
Cozy was still supporting Rainbow after he left and he liked "I surrender" and all. And he discovered Joe Lynn so when Graham left... Cozy told Ritchie about Joe.
And for the last quote... I will leave this funny but sad but nice (????? ... you will understand what i mean)
"Last time we saw Cozy was in Denmark. He was doing an interview beneath my window in the garden of the hotel. I couldn't resist but to throw water out of the window and onto him. We always played practical jokes on each other. Cozy went too soon, but that's the way he'd have wanted to go, in his car. -Ritchie (Blackmore's Night Q&A online)
"We always played practical jokes on each other". Ritchie you're such a liar and you're talking advantage of Cozy's death because if he were still alive he would tell you that you were afraid of his practical jokes.
But he is deep about Cozy's cause of death, and he's right about it so that, again, shows you that Ritchie knew him very well.
-
So we reached the end, a fair-sad but happy ending for their friendship. Is sad because Cozy's death but is happy because they were still the goal friends that they always were. And i have no doubts that he still misses him, because Carry On Jon is very similar to The Loner and i don't think it's a coincidence.
Anyway, Long Live Rock 'N' Roll and I want their friendship.
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possiamo-andare · 4 years
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No More Divisions - Chapter Nine: Love
JJ x Original Character
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MASTERLIST
I don't know of y'all are ready for this one...
~
When I saw Ward, I felt like we were losing all over again. We had gotten a taste of victory with helping John B. escape the clutches of Deputy Shoupe but now, it felt like it was for nothing. I thought back to JJ's questions; would things ever be easier? I doubted it even more now. Things would never be normal as long as Shoupe thought John B. was guilty. We gave him evidence and still, he is more than ready to get a murderer to help him.
JJ was the first to speak up. We had all been in a state of shock, that none of had spoken up yet. Ward was already beside Shoupe and near the radio connected to the boat John B. was on by the time any of us said anything.
"You've got to be kidding me?!"
I was next. "You're crazy dude."
The fed glared at me. "My name is Agent Bratcher."
I shrugged. "I'll just call you fed."
Pope stepped forward, moving to JJ's side. "I'm sure Ward won't completely fuck up the situation entirely." His sarcasm travelled through the entire tent. his was one of the first times seeing Pope so strong in his convictions I almost wanted to laugh.
Shoupe rolled his eyes. I swear, I could punch him right now. "He's Sarah's father. If anyone can convince Sarah to turn the boat around, it's her father."
This time I moved forward, glaring at Ward the entire time. "Sure, that might work. If it wasn't for the fact Sarah hates her father, dude."
Ward looked hurt by those words, as if he could not fathom the idea of Sarah not liking him after all that he has done to John B. and his family. "Callie, I'm her father."
I turned to him, angrily looking him up and down. "I don't see a father. I see a weak excuse of a man."
JJ and Pope both cackled behind me as I said this. I looked to JJ would seemed proud. I don't exactly know why he was proud because I was being completely rude to Ward, but I'm guessing it was because Ward deserved it. Also, JJ loved this type of stuff. I'm sure if I ever started fighting someone, he would be cheering me on as Kiara tried to pull me off whoever the poor soul was.
"Stop that right now!" I fed yelled at us, specifically glaring at me. "If you won't help us, then Ward is more than happy to."
Kiara now spoke, "Okay. We''l just watch your plan fail."
The fed and Shoupe waved us away from the station where the radio was but we stayed put, wanting to see this complete massacre with our own eyes.
I took a step back, standing beside JJ again. I looked at him and he was already looking at me. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand. He squeezed it tightly. Then I remembered something. "You had to tell me something before. What was it?"
JJ's eyes widened for a moment then looked away. "Oh nothing. It sounds stupid now."
I nudged his arm with my shoulder. "C'mon, nothing you say is stupid. What's up?"
JJ sighed, looking to the ground and then back to me. "I was gonna say that when this thing is over, we should probably go out."
I smiled. "Go out where?" For all the teasing he ever did to me, it was my turn.
JJ blushed. I repeat, he blushed. What was up with this guy? "Maybe for dinner or something?"
"With Kiara and Pope?" Now I was purposely being annoying just because I loved to see him struggle.
JJ caught on pretty quick and chuckled at me once he realized. "Never-mind. I hate you again."
I quietly gasped, looked to Ward setting the radio to the right frequency, and then looked back to JJ. "You hated me?"
JJ smirked and nodded. "Yeah. If you didn't know, you're a Kook."
"Do you hate me now?" I lean forward, my lips inches from his.
He looks down at our lips. "No..."
We were about to kiss but,just as our lips were about to touch, Ward yells out.
"SARAH!"
We all look to him. Shoupe is standing in front of him as the fed watches our reactions. I think for a moment they are listening but when no one responds, I sigh. I hope they don't answer. I hope they can get out. I hope they don't turn around.
Then, Ward yells again, this time for John B. "JOHN B.!"
There's a moment of silence. Then, over the radio, we all hear the sound of waves crashing. My breath hitches in my throat and JJ squeezes my hand tighter. He makes no sound but I can tell he is just as nervous as me, maybe even more.
Ward, confident they're listening, speaks again, "John B, I know you are there, son. I know you can hear me," He takes a deep breath. "and if you love my daughter like I think you love my daughter, then you will turn that boat around and come back."
I shake my head. No, he's playing on his love for Sarah.
Please John B. don't listen to him. He's a murderer. He's evil.
There's still no response but we all know he's listening. So is Sarah. We know they are listening to every word and maybe even contemplating on turn back around. I hope to god they are not but Ward is acting so rational he almost doesn't seem like a killer. Almost. There still is something in his voice that I can tell in a little bit of venom directed at John B. He knows that either way, he is getting out of this situation a free man. If John B. returns, they will arrest him for a crime Rafe committed and if he doesn't, Sarah leaves too and then it's my word against one of the richest men in OBX. I doubt my parents will side with me knowing that friends I have now. Either way, we are losing and Ward is winning again.
Ward speaks again. "You are going into a storm that you cannot survive. John B, please, I will make it right. I promise you. Come back."
This makes my blood boil. Ward was the one that messed everything up in the first place. Him and his deranged son.
"No! John B.! He's a liar!" I scream rushing forward and trying to grab a hold of Ward's radio. Two officers grab a hold of both of my arms and drag me away.
"Let go of her!" JJ screams, jumping onto one of the officers.
I'm kicking and screaming and JJ in fighting one of them as Pope and Kiara fight the other. More officers come and hold all of them back. I'm hysterical. I'm screaming as loud as I can for John B. and Sarah. They can't come back. If they come back, everything we have done, everything we have sacrificed, was for nothing.
Just as the officers start to drag us out of the tent, Shoupe yells at them. "Let them stay," He smirks at me, happy to see that I'm crying. "They are gonna hear this."
We are brought back to where we originally were and now, officers are holding us down as we listen to Ward talk. I want to cover my ears but the officers are holding my hands behind my back.
"John B, I am begging you. Think of her and turn around." Ward finishes, looking at me finally. No one else can see it but I can. He's smirking. It's very faint but I can still see it. He thinks he's won.
We all wait for a response. At first, I think maybe it was the wrong frequency all along and maybe they heard nothing. Then, the radio turns on and we can hear heavy breathing along with the sound of the storm behind it. I know it's John B., and so does JJ, Kiara and Pope. I look at the, They are all thinking the same thing; he's pissed.
"Ward Cameron, do you hear me?"
JJ lets out a sigh. He's there and he's been listening to everything. I want to yell again but I can't; my throat burns from all the yelling.
Ward smiles and gives Shoupe a thumbs up. "Yes. Yes, son, I'm right here. I'm right here. Please bring her back, okay? We'll work it all out when you get home."
I hang up head. No, please don't listen to him.
Then John B. speaks again. " You killed my father, and you framed me for a murder I didn't commit."
I look back up, surprised. John B. doesn't believe him. He's not turning back. Thank god.
Ward looks to the fed, confused. He's still playing the part of the confused and concerned father. The fed isn't looking at him though, he's looking at me. His face is filled with surprise. He raises his brows at me and all I do is nod. I'm wondering if he truly believes me now?
John B. speaks again. "You took everything from me!"
I can hear the anger from through the radio. I'm almost scared for Ward. He looks actually concerned now, he's not playing a part anymore.
I look to JJ. He's being held back by the officers but when I look at him, he's pale. I know why. When John B. comes back to OBX, he will kill Ward.
John B. yells again. "You took everything from me!" I try to imagine John B. and Sarah on that boat going into the storm. My heart drops. Please let them make it. "But I'm still here. And I swear to God, Ward, I will come back one day and take back what's mine."
Ward's brows are pushed together. He's shaking and I can see sweat form on his forehead. He knows John B. is serious and now he's scared. I would be too. In one last ditch effort to calm John B., he tries to speak again but it's too late. John B. is holding down the button so Ward can't speak.
"So, you listen to me, all right? I'm comin' for you. I'm coming for you."
And then the radio is silent. John B. and Sarah are done talking.
Shoupe looks at us, his face as white as snow. I guess he's not smirking any longer. He looks at me and now I'm the one smirking. They are gone. He knows they'll never catch him.
"Told you." I say bitterly, smiling at Shoupe.
"Get them away from my sight." growls Shoupe.
The officer start dragging us away and Shoupe and the fed start whispering to each other. The officer that is holding me is talking to the officer that is holding JJ and I see this as my last opportunity to speak to Sarah. I have come to terms I might never see her again and I just want to say one last thing. So, the second I see that the officer is distracted I loosen my grip on him and run to the radio. Ward is no longer there anymore and no one is guarding it. I am running so fast my legs are burning but I move quickly and dodge the grasp of the officer that was holding me before. I grab the radio as fast as I can and press the button to speak. I see the fed, Shoupe and the officer running towards me so I know I have to speak quickly.
I say the only thing that matters. "I love you Sarah. We aren't divided."
I say this because when Sarah first started dating John B., I had been focused too much on the fact he was a Pogue and she was a Kook and it wouldn't work out. She had told me that those divisions didn't matter. Love is love. There should be no more divisions when it came to love. I hope she gets my reference.
Seconds later, the officer grabs onto me and slaps the radio out of my hand. He's dragging me away again but I don't fight. I said what I needed to say. I don't expect her to say anything else but I just wanted to say goodbye.
As I am getting dragged away, I hear a voice come from the radio. The person is crying but I can tell they are happy because they are laughing through the tears. "You're golden Callie. There's no more divisions."
I'm full on bawling now but I don't care. I will miss her so much but I know I wouldn't change anything that has happened. I found JJ and she I had the best ten years with the best friend anyone could ask for.
The officer drags me to the second tent and I get wet because it is raining outside. When I'm in the second tent, I'm surrounded by JJ and Kiara and Pope. They're all asking me what she said, what it meant and I try to tell them everything. I can see my parents in the background but I ignore them for now. I need to talk to my family.
JJ hugs me and cups my face in his hands. He's wet too and the droplets from his hair are dropping on my face. "That was so stupid. Why'd you do that?"
I shrug. "I don't know."
But I do know. Because Sarah is right. When you love someone, there should be no more divisions.
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