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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 4 years

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The Dos and Don’ts of Writing Smart Characters

Since I started this blog, one of the most common questions I’ve received has to do with the portrayal of intelligent characters. This is also one of the most difficult to answer -- excluding questions about characters with specialized knowledge sets, which are fairly easy to answer with source compilations. Most of the questions have to do with: how do you portray a smart character believably? How do you make the audience relate to them? Can I still make them likable? How do I avoid the pitfalls of popular media?

Well, I’m finally here to answer, utilizing examples from some of my favorite (and occasionally, not-so-favorite) media. Let’s jump in to the dos and don’ts of smart characters!

1. Do let the audience follow the character’s thought process.

As demonstrated by: Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders

Albert Einstein allegedly once said, “If you can’t explain it to a five-year-old, you don’t truly understand it.” And the sentiment rings true: true genius doesn’t need to dazzle with big words and technobabble. Instead, it makes the complex appear simple.

The same rings true for brilliant characters. BBC’s Sherlock (more on that later) ceased to satisfy in its later seasons because it began to rely too heavily on visual glitz to avoid actually explaining its mysteries and how they were solved. Similarly, the biggest complaints with block buster franchises -- Star Wars, The Avengers, Game of Thrones -- is that they became obsessed with “subverting expectations” cleverly instead of leading the audiences to their most logical and satisfying conclusions.

Meanwhile, the smartest and most satisfying media dazzles not by staying over the audience’s head, but by illustrating how simplistic the solutions can be.

Let’s start with my boy Tommy Shelby, the charismatic, swaggering protagonist of the charismatic, swaggering crime drama Peaky Blinders. Using only his intelligence (and complete disregard for his own life/suicidal tendencies, but that’s not the point here), Tommy claws his way up from the near-bottom of the social ladder (an impoverished Romani in early 20th century Birmingham) to being a decorated war hero, to being the leader of a feared razor gang, to dominating the race track business, to becoming a business mogul, to becoming a member of parliament and trying to assassinate the leader of the fascist party. He’s also one of the paramount reasons why I’m bisexual.

So how can such a drastic social climb be conveyed believably? Because Tommy -- as the viewpoint character -- is placed in seemingly inescapable situations, and then proceeds to demonstrate that the solutions to those situations have been there the whole time. I recently watched a brilliant video on how this is done, which can be viewed here.

Early in season one, for example, he responds to aggressive new methods by the police by organizing a mass-burning of paintings of the king, and uses the press this garners to publicly shame the methods of the chief inspector who’s been antagonizing him. In the next season, he talks his way into a deal by bluffing that he planted a grenade in his rival’s distillery. My personal favorite is in season four, when he responds to being outgunned by a larger, American gang by contacting their rival -- none other than an Alphonse Capone.

All of Tommy’s victories are satisfying, because they don’t come out of nowhere -- we have access to the same information he does, each victory is carefully foreshadowed, and we are reminded at every turn that failure is a very real possibility (more on that later.) So when he wins, we’re cheering with him.

Other examples: Mark Watney from The Martian, who explains science in its most simplistic terms and with infectious enthusiasm. He would make every character on The Big Bang Theory cry.

Also, Miss Fisher from the AMAZING Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. The dazzling, 1920s, female Sherlock Holmes of your dreams. I cannot recommend it enough.

To apply this to your own writing: Remember you won’t dazzle anyone if you smack them in the face with a “brilliant” plot twist. They want to take a journey with your character, not be left in the dust.

Also, for everyone in my askbox concerned that they’re not smart enough to write intelligent characters, just remember how simple the problems confronting smart characters can be. Put them in a difficult situation, and provide them with a means of getting out. Then, just let them find it.

2. Don’t assume the audience is too stupid to keep up (or try to make them feel too stupid to keep up.)

As demonstrated by: Sherlock Holmes from BBC’s Sherlock.

Say what you will: there were reasons why everyone was so captivated by this show during its first two seasons. It felt fresh. People had yet to become frustrated with the inescapable thirst for Benedict Cumberbatch. The writing was sharp, and the editing clever. And it wove a tantalizing web of mysteries that demanded solution. The problem was, there weren’t any.

The most frustrating for many was how Sherlock faked his death at the end of season two, after which devoted fans spent two years creating intricate theories on how he might have pulled this off. The creators responded by mocking this dedication in the opening episode of season three, by showing a fan club spinning outlandish theories (one of which included Sherlock and Moriarty kissing.) This might have been laughed off -- at the time, many seemed to consider it quite funny -- if the creators had bothered to offer their own explanation of how Sherlock survived. They didn’t. And so began a seemingly endless loop of huge cliffhangers that promised -- and consistently failed to deliver -- satisfying answers.

The most egregious examples occur in season four, which provided answers to questions no one asked, and withheld answers for things everyone wanted to know. For example, did you know that the real reason Moriarty engaged Sherlock is because he was hypnotized by Sherlock’s secret evil sister? The same one who killed Sherlock’s best friend, whom Sherlock convinced himself was a dog? Yes, that was a real plot point, in the climax of the series. It’s an effort to befuddle the audience with brilliant and unexpected writing, but instead pulled them out of a story they were already invested in and made them far more critical of its pre-existing faults.

It’s pointed out in the brilliant (if bluntly named) Sherlock Is Garbage, And Here’s Why that Moffat can be a great writer, but is a consistently terrible show runner, because he’s more interested in dazzling the audience with cleverness than actually telling a satisfying story. The video also points out that the show often implied Sherlock’s brilliance, without ever letting the audience follow along with his actions or thought-process in a way that DEMONSTRATED his brilliance.

I highly recommend giving the aforementioned video a watch, because it is not only a great explanation of how Sherlock Holmes can be best utilized, but about how writing itself can be best utilized.

Other examples: The Big Bang Theory. As Wisecrack points out in their wonderful video on the subject, the punchline of every joke is “oh look, these characters are smart nerds!” which is repetitious at best and downright insulting at worst.

How to avoid this in your writing: Treat the audience as your equal. You’re not trying to bedazzle them, you’re trying to take them on a journey with you. Let them be delighted when you are. Don’t constantly try to mislead them or hold intelligence over their head, and they will love you for it. Also, cheap tricks do not yield a satisfying story: readers will know when you went into a narrative without a plan, and they won’t appreciate it.

3. Do remember that smart people can be kind and optimistic!

As demonstrated by: Shuri from Black Panther.

Yes, brilliant people can be unhappy and isolated by their intelligence, or rejected by society. But remember that intelligence isn’t synonymous with a cantankerous attitude, or an excuse to be a pugnacious ass to those around you!

Part of the reason why Shuri of 2018′s Black Panther was such a breath of fresh air was the fact that she subverted almost all preconceptions about how a genius looks, acts, and regards the world. And it’s not just the fact that she isn’t a sullen, middle-aged white man that makes her stand out: Shuri has an effervescent attitude, and genuinely loves contributing to her country and family. She referred to sound-proof boots as “sneakers” (and then explained the pun when her brother didn’t get it.) She’s fashionable. She teases her older brother, and cries when he is apparently killed. She’s up on meme culture. This makes her unlike pretty much every other genius portrayed in the MCU.

Except maybe the Hulk. He can dab now.

Shuri is also allowed to take pride in her genius, and can be a bit insufferable about it, which makes her more enjoyable and rounded. But she is an excellent example of how genius can be explored and portrayed in fiction, and I will forever be embittered that she was underutilized in Infinity War and Endgame.

Why, for example, are all geniuses portrayed as arrogant misanthropes? Albert Einstein battled depression, but he is also said to have enjoyed blowing bubbles and watching puppet shows. He was kind to those who knew him. Similarly, Alan Turing behaved little like his fictional counterpart, described as “shy but outgoing,” with a love of being outdoors. Nikola Tesla fell in love with a pigeon. Why do we have to portray these people so damn gravely?

Other examples: Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Also an excellent portrayal of an intelligent person on the autism spectrum, as he struggles to interface socially but cares profusely for his fellow human beings. He is brilliant, and completely precious.

Also, Sherlock Holmes -- the original version, and all faithful adaptations thereof. Anyone who thinks Sherlock is an austere, antisocial jerk isn’t familiar with the original canon. He blushed when Watson complimented his intelligence, for God’s sake.

Then there’s Elle Woods from Legally Blonde and Marge from Fargo. Brilliant, upbeat, optimistic geniuses.

To apply this to your own writing: If you have a smart character who hates everyone around them for no identifiable reason, ask yourself why this is necessary and what this adds to the plot. Are they angry about injustice, towards themselves or others? Are they frustrated with an inability to relate to people? Do they want to protect themselves or their family at all costs, including politeness? If not, question why your brilliant character can’t also be kind to those around them.

4. Don’t make your character perfect at everything they do.

As demonstrated by: Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Ah, Wesley. Some call him the original Mary Sue, and it’s one of the only times I’ve seen the term applied with some accuracy. He is somehow the most gifted and least qualified person on The Enterprise. He’s Hermione Granger without the charm, jumping in to answer questions before any of the trained officers in the room have the chance to, always in the right. His only obstacle? Why, the boorish adults he’s surrounded with simply don’t understand his brilliance!

As early as the series’ very second episode, Wesley -- inebriated by an alien illness -- forcibly takes over the ship from Captain Picard, only to later save it from a threat with a reverse tractor beam of his own design.

Wesley was obviously inserted as a means of attracting younger viewers, but failed egregiously, because he was too annoyingly perfect for kids to relate too, and not cool enough for them to be invested in. I binge-watched the various Star Trek series in my youth for Spock, Data, and my wife Seven of Nine, not to watch seasoned military and scientific officers get lectured by an adolescent. Even Wil Wheaton, who had the misfortune of portraying this character, expressed a dislike for him.

Precocious children are great, if you get them right. But get them wrong, and they can easily become your most annoying character, marring the face of otherwise great media. The most important thing you can do for a brilliant character is endow them with weaknesses and flaws -- even something as small as Shuri’s fondness for teasing her older brother made her enjoyable, as anyone with siblings could relate to their dynamic.

But, what if you want a supernaturally talented character who not only fails to be a ray of sunshine, but is something of an arrogant, antisocial jerk? Can they still work, especially if they also happen to be a child?

Yes, under one extremely important condition:

5. Do keep your characters out of their depth!

As demonstrated by: Number Five from Umbrella Academy.

Okay, he’s not exactly a child. He’s a fifty-eight-year-old trapped in a child’s body, who’s traveled back in time from a post-apocalyptic future to warn his siblings of an incoming Armageddon. In other news, Umbrella Academy is a weird show. Unlike the comics, however, the apes don’t engage in prostitution.

The effect, however, remains the same: a preternaturally talented child who talks down to everyone around him, including his (apparently) older siblings. So why does he work while Wesley fails so egregiously?

For one thing, it’s demonstrated early on that Five has the skills to back up his sanctimonious attitude, with the delightfully ultraviolent Istanbul (Not Constantinople) sequence. It also helps that he lacks Wesley’s squeaky-clean moral code, to the point at which he can get drunk in public or kill without remorse.

But: the element most vital to his success as a character is the fact that he’s kept completely, and consistently, out of his depth. He knows the world will end in eight days, but he doesn’t know how this will transpire or how to stop it. Ultimately, he fails again to stop the apocalypse, and must travel back in time with his siblings for another chance.

Most authors have the impulse to demonstrate a character’s brilliance by allowing them to succeed against insurmountable odds, but the Umbrella Academy writers show tremendous wisdom in allowing Five to fail. This allows the audience to empathize with him, and countermands the effects of his arrogant attitude.

This advice isn’t just true for pint-sized prodigies. Look back over this list, and take notes of how often the most successful characters are allowed to fail, to have flaws, and to ascend past their comfort zone.

Other examples: Virtually every successful example on this list.

Tommy Shelby, a character of limitless ambition, conducts a new, perilous climb outside of his social rank each season, which almost always puts him in positions of mortal danger. He faces threats both external (rival gangs, evil priests, and rising fascists) and internal (hello PTSD, suicidal tendencies, and crippling addiction) but either way, we understand that his fast-paced climb is not for the weak-willed or faint-hearted.

Mark Watney is a brilliant scientist who has been stranded in an utterly impossible situation for which absolutely no one could be adequately prepared (spoilers: it’s on Mars.) We are drawn in by his plight, and how he could possibly escape from it, and there we come to admire him for his courage, optimism, and humor.

Shuri, though not the main character of Black Panther, is allowed to show off both tremendous gifts and vulnerability, as she is powerless to stop the apparent death of her beloved older brother. She watches Wakanda’s takeover both as an innovator and a young woman, and a large reason for her success is that she is allowed to be both.

How to apply this to your writing: When portraying intelligent characters, take stock of how often they fail, their level of control over their surroundings, their vulnerability, and their flaws. We don’t want to read about flawless deities. We want to read about characters who embody and personify our humanity. So remember they need to fall down in order to pull themselves up.

Happy writing, everybody!

#long post for ts #writing tips #writing smart characters #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #mark watney #the martian #miss fisher's murder mysteries #shuri #black panther #spencer reid #criminal minds #legally blonde #fargo #number five #the umbrella academy #star trek #star trek: the next generation

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haveamagicalday · 3 years

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My reads of 2020

My top ten is in a separate post but here are the rest of my reads!

5 Stars

If You Tell by Gregg Olsen

This is a memoir about the Shelley Knotek case. It focuses heavily on the relationship and struggles of her three daughters that were just children when Shelley’s tortures started. This book was fantastically written for such a morbid tale but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart. Trigger Warning: Abuse, torture, murder

Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom by Louis Sachar

The Wayside school books were some of my favorite growing up. I made sure to reread them all before reading this one. It felt like no time had past at all. This is a great blast from the past that won’t disappoint old fans of the series.

4 Stars

All Your Twisted Secrets by Diana Urban

A group of seemingly unrelated students are invited to a scholar dinner that turns out to be a trapped. Once all the students arrive, they are locked in with a bomb and the the option to choose one person to die or they all die. As the night slips away, we learn the secrets and connections the students share that brought them to their predicament. Surprisingly not as suspenseful as you would think it would be and the secrets/bad things the students had done in the past really weren’t that twisted. Still it was very fun with an explosive ending.

Beyond the Shadowed Earth by Joanna Ruth Meyer

This is a sequel to Beneath the Haunting Sea and actually focused on the hero from the first’s books antagonist, Eda. Eda overthrow our hero from the first book as heir to the throne, blamed the king’s death on her and had her wrongfully banished to an island that launched the story of the first book. After that we never visited Eda again as the book focused on a different story instead of getting her kingdom back. So in this one, we see what happened to Eda after she took over. She is not a good person and the author isn’t afraid to make her unlikable at first, but also redeemable through her adventure and misfortunate.

Break Your Glass Slippers by Amanda Lovelace

Another book of poetry from Amanda Lovelace that delivers profound and touching poems.

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier

A classic retelling of The Six Swans. This story takes place in a medieval/fantasy version of Ireland. Marillier is one of my favorite authors of fairytale retellings. This book is definitely a slow read but is gorgeously written and rich in character development. The story follows the fairytale with little variation. Trigger Warning: Rape (graphic depiction).

Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer

Nonfictional account of female serial killers. I liked that this wasn’t written like a wikipedia page and took a more narrative approach. After the first few women, they all start to blend together though. Lots of poisoning happens. It would have been nice for some variety.

Malorie by Josh Malerman

The sequel to Bird Box that we probably didn’t need but was still good nonetheless. This one focuses more on Boy and Girl (now named thankfully) as teenagers and their view and challenges of the world they’ve grown up in. This book introduced new concepts that were interesting and creative. Somehow this managed to have a relatively happy and satisfying conclusion.

The Monstrous Feminine by Barbara Creed

A look at horror films through a feminist and psychological lens. I absolutely loved this book and the ideas it presents. The first half of the book takes a look at certain horror films (such as Carrie, the Exorcist, Alien, ect.) and “challenges this patriarchal view by arguing that the prototype of all definitions of the monstrous is the female reproductive body.” I liked the first section of the book more than the second part where I felt it focused too much on Freud and his findings and challenging them through horror films.

No Judgements by Meg Cabot

A cute, fluffy romance that takes place on a small island preparing for a category 3 hurricane. Bree finds herself forced to shelter with the island’s resident heartbreaker and they don’t get along. At first ;)

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Alicia, a famous painter and wealthy wife, shocked the world when she killed her husband and then stopped speaking afterwards. Now committed to a mental institute, Alicia is still refusing to speak. Theo is a therapist who jumps at the opportunity to work with Alicia and discover what really happened with her husband. Some of the twist was easy to pick up on at first but there was plenty that kept me guessing. This was a real page turner.

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey

Alexis and her group of friends have one very big thing in common; they are able to preform magic. One night, Alexis’ magic causes an accidental death of a classmate and the friends have to ban together to make things right. This was a creative and moving read. There’s plenty of magic but it almost comes secondary to the friendships and blossoming love between two of the friends.

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

Immanuelle lives in. a patriarchal society where the prophet’s word is law and the town is bordered by the evil and forbidden Darkwood. In the Darkwoods lurks four witches that seem to be calling out to Immanuelle. This book had fantastic world building and the story was unique and engaging. Sometimes it felt like we were just skimming the surface of possibilities and I felt that the book could have been longer or divided into a series. While the story wraps up in the end it does turn out there is going to be a sequel so I’m excited for that! Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape

3.5 Stars

The Cousins by Karen M. McManus

Jonah, Aubrey and Milly never knew their rich grandmother. Her children were all cut off ominously with a note simply saying “you know what you did.” Now their grandmother is reaching out to the cousins and inviting them to work at her island resort for the summer. Lots of secrets and twists await them! This book was a lot of fun and probably my favorite of this author’s so far. Some of the twists border on zany but the overall tone of the book is a little zany so it works.

Horrid by Katrina Leno

After her father’s death, Jane and her mother are forced to move across the country into Jane’s mother’s childhood home. The manor has many secrets hidden within that Jane must face. The book was well written and intriguing. The books deal with grief and mental illness with a touch of the supernatural. I felt that the overall pacing felt off though. Very little happened in the beginning and then a lot happens in the last 30 or so pages and then it ended abruptly. It was a great concept though and I'm interested in more from this author!

One of Us is Next by Karen M. McManus

A sequel to the hit novel, One of Us is Lying. This book focuses on one of the character’s from the first books little sister and two of her classmates. The stakes in this one didn’t feel quite as serious as the first book but it was a fun read with interesting twists!

The Return by Rachel Harrison

Julie went missing, leaving her 3 best friends grappling with tragedy. Then, exactly two years later, she comes back with no memories. The four friends decide to spend a weekend together but something is not quite right with Julie. This book was creepy! However, it focuses more on the relationships of the four characters and dealings with grief with a touch of supernatural sprinkled throughout. It’s a gripping novel from start to finish that will keep you guessing.

3 Stars

All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

Nicolette returns to her hometown for the first time in ten years after the mysterious disappearance of her best friend. Shortly after arriving another girl goes missing, forcing Nicolette to relive what happened years ago. What made this book a page turner was that it tells the story backwards. Once she gets to her hometown it starts on her 10th day and works backwards to what happened on the day of her arrival. Unfortunately, while the concept works at first it builds up to a lackluster and disappointing ending. If you were to put the book in the correct order, it wouldn’t work as there are stuff that is found out in the first few days that the reader doesn’t know about but the characters do that wouldn’t make sense in a narrative sense.

Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris

From the outside Jack and Grace come off as the perfect couple but behind closed doors, everything changes. No twists here, Grace is Jack’s prisoner and she is desperately trying to get away. The book alternates between past and present about her current situation and how she got there. This involves a lot of suspension of disbelief. Jack is a cartoony type of villain with no real motive and he would never be able to get away with what he was doing. Grace is also not the smartest person, there were a lot of different ways she could have escaped but for the sake of the story she doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this was still a suspenseful and fun read but also questionable and some points.

The Blue Salt Road by Joanne M. Harris

A quick, fairytale like story about a selkie who was tricked into becoming human and now longs to return to the sea. I feel like there was a message being preached in this story, but I can’t really pinpoint what it was. Regardless, this was a magical little read.

Clown in a Corn Field by Adam Cesare

Clown in the corn field is a slasher film put on page. It starts off like a typical YA novel and sets up a mystery as to who the clown is, but then the clown attacks at a party and the rest of the novel is that one night as the clown wrecks havoc and the teens have to escape. I think I wold have preferred and more drawn out mystery but fans of slasher films would really enjoy this!

Coral by Sara Ella

A sort of retelling of the Little Mermaid. Sort of. This book focuses on strong themes of mental health. The mermaid/fantasy side is minimal and almost completely disappears in the 2/3rds in to the novel. It was a slightly confusing read but had a powerful depiction of depression. Trigger Warning: Suicide

The Doll House Murders by Betty Ren Wright

A sad but sweet little mystery novel about a preteen girl who discovers a dark secret via an old dollhouse and its mysterious moving dolls. The subject matter was dark but the story was written for middle graders and thus mystery is handled with simplicity and strange charm to it.

Good Girl, Bad Blood by Holly Jackson

The sequel to A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder. This book hasn’t been released in the US yet but you can still get the British/original version on amazon which is what I did. This novel requires a stretch of disbelief and I didn’t think the mystery was as good as the first one. However, if you are a fan of the first one, you will still want to check this one out as well!

I Know Who You Are by Alice Feeney

You definitely have to suspend your disbelief when you read this one. It's gripping and while some twists were easily guessed, the final one took me for a surprise. It's equal parts dark/chilling and cheesy/silly. I'm still left with a lot of questions after the ending. It makes the book fall apart when you think about it but if you just take it for what it is, an entertaining but cheesy thriller, you'll enjoy it.

The Harp of Kings by Juliet Marillier

This book features the children of the main characters from the Blackthorn and Grim series but you don’t need to read that series in order to read this one (though you should!). The book features three teenagers that are training to be warriors that are selected to go undercover in a nearby kingdom to find the stolen Harp of Kings before the new king’s coronation can take place. It was slow in the beginning and I felt there wasn’t much character development but it was an enjoyable read.

In Darkling Wood by Emma Carroll

Alice’s sick brother is getting a lung transplant and Alice is forced to stay with an estranged grandmother. Her grandmother lives on the edge of darkling wood, a place rumored to be filled with fairies. This book reminded me of a less dark version of When A Monster Calls. It deals with some of the same themes but this is more aimed towards children with a feel good ending.

The Lost Girls by Heather Young

In the summer of 1935, six year old Emily disappeared leaving her two older sisters and parents devastated. Sixty years later, both sisters are dead but one of them left behind her house and a notebook detailing what happened that summer for her grandniece, Justine. This book wasn’t so much of a thriller but focused more on Justine’s current issues with her daughters and ex boyfriend. I found the chapters with the notebook pages in between chapters more interesting than the modern story.

Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

I read the first Stargirl years ago but reread it before reading this one. This sequel doesn’t manage to capture the same charm as the first one did. The book is a series of letters that Stargirl writes (but doesn’t send) to Leo from the first book following her over the course of a year. I found it surprisingly boring at times and Stargirl seemed far to normal as compared to the first book. It was neat to see what she was up to after the first book but overall I didn’t think it was a necessary sequel.

A Psalm for Lost Girls by Katie Bayerl

Callie’s older sister was considered a saint in her small town before she tragically passed away. Now the city is trying to have her canonized, but Callie knows her sister wasn’t a saint, and the pressure is what ultimately killed, so now she’s on a mission to prove that her sister was just a normal girl. This book involved a missing child that Callie’s sister was supposed to find before she died but couldn’t. The mystery there was very predictable and was kind of on the back burner to Callie’s story. I think this would have been a more interesting story if it had been from the sister’s perspective and how it felt to be a teen saint while she was still alive.

The Rose Without a Thorn by Jean Plaidy

The story of Katherine Howard, the fifth wife of King Henry. I was looking for a novel that painted Katherine as sympathetic, as most adaptations make her out to be a seductress. This novel was strange as it read as a wikipedia entry in a narrative form. It was all telling and no showing and lacked real emotion. From the minor research I’ve done, it seems to be pretty accurate in terms of events that happened. Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse featuring a minor (but isn’t presented as such)

Sadie by Courtney Summers

Sadie’s sister was murdered and she is determined to bring the killer to justice. In between each chapter about Sadie is a the transcript for a podcast that is covering the case, as well as Sadie’s future disappearance . This is a very popular book but to be honest, I'm not sure what the point was? The podcast was an interesting idea but it basically just rehashed everything we already knew. Not much was added by it. The ending just fizzles away and the story tended to drag in places. It was very well written though and I think I was just not the right audience for it.

The Seventh Bride by T. Kingfisher

A creepy retelling of Bluebeard. It reads like a YA in some places but Adult in others. It was definitely unsightly and out there but I found it confusing in some places. It has some great creepy imagery and slight body horror to it.

The Supervillain and Me by Danielle Banas

Abby’s brother is a superhero beloved by the whole crime ridden town. But when a supervillain comes into town, Abby finds her paths crossing with him again and again. Okay, so the supervillain wasn’t even a villain and the reason for wanting Abby to help him was not a very good one. The book is mostly about the romance between the two which was nice but nothing spectacular. I found myself more interested in the musical Abby was starring in. It was about a cannibalistic royal family whose oldest son falls in love with a servant and he has to save her from being eaten by his family. Now THAT sounded interesting!

Winterdream by Chantal Gadoury

A Nutcracker retelling. This was a sweet retelling of the story. It didn’t add much to the original tale or the ballet but it was a good winter read to get into the spirit of Christmas.

They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman

Freshman year, Jill’s best friend was killed by her boyfriend., Graham Now it’s senior year and Jill is the president of an elite school club but someone keeps texting her about Graham’s innocence and she can’t keep herself from diving deeper into the mystery to unearth what really happened to her friend. Gripping and twisty, this book was a solid teen mystery!

Not Rated

I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid

I read this almost a year ago and I still don’t know what to think about it. I can’t decide if the story was genius or simple shock value. Did the twist make sense? I don’t know honestly. I read this before I even knew there was a netflix adaptation coming and I while I read this book in one sitting, I only made it halfway through the movie. I personally don’t think it translated well to screen. If you are looking for a quick disturbing read with an ending you WILL NOT be able to guess, then I highly recommend this one.

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror by Mallory Ortberg

There’s a pretty popular post on his webiste that has a link to a horrifying retelling of Curious George. This is a collection of retellings/unrelated short stories by the same author. I didn’t read all of the stories in this because some of them were just too difficult to get through and confusing. However, the dark retellings of fairy tales and children books were really enjoyable. I particularly liked the retellings of The velveteen rabbit, the frog prince and the six swans. I think they can all be found online and not just in this collection.

Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer

Is it good? No. Is it garbage? Yes. Did I still read it any way? Yes. Team Edward for life.

#books #book recomendation #all your twisted secrets #when we were magic #the silent patient #the return #daughter of the forest #malorie #the year of the witching

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theastromancer · 4 years

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Sun in Aquarius

“The symbol for Aquarius, ♒️, represents waves of air, or electricity. The ancients saw the image of air as showing the nature of Aquarius. In modern times we see an association with electric current. People born with the Sun in Aquarius possess the qualities of the air and electricity.

Aquarius is the water- bearer pouring water from a jug representing the quality of air to carry and distribute all things that renew and refresh. The water-bearer epitomizes the ideal of human friendship, the quencher of thirst and the reliever of suffering. Electric current sparks, energizes, and makes possible the technology that can relieve human need and suffering.

Air creates the space where all can be and exist in relative freedom, yet all must share.The air serves all equally, without prejudice or exception, for the common good. Aquarian’s are learning that being a good friend is not an easy idea to uphold, and that it requires a discipline and compassion that seems almost superhuman. Aquarius represents a very evolved state of consciousness, it is the second to last sign in the zodiac, and asks us to do something extraordinary. Aquarius represents the Divine potential of human idealism, not easily realized, but nonetheless ultimately what is needed.

We all depend on one another for survival and companionship. The water-bearer represents the altruistic ideals that human existence is dependent on and that cannot be forsaken. No one can be denied air or water and survive for very long. Without water, a plant or animal can only live a few days, nothing grows, and food would not be available. Without air, though, no living thing lasts more than a few minutes. The water-bearer shows us that the ideal of friendship, community and coexistence cannot exist. The water-bearer is not a warrior, but rather a humanitarian, and does not react to or deny anyone, but rather delivers the help and relief wherever it is needed. The water-bearer is the true friend who is there when you need him or her.

For Aquarius, friendship is paramount. They will do anything for their friends. They are idealistic and are attracted to causes affecting the greater community. They bond with others who have like ideals and can be avant-garde or unconventional. Aquarians spontaneously perceive the way to improve conditions and solve puzzles, and even when they are conventional, their idealism is still part of whatever they get involved in. They are principled, innovative, devoted, and loyal.

Aquarians are very idealistic, and because of this they can be judgmental and reactionary. They will look at the attitudes and politics of another or a community and judge according to their Aquarian ideals. They can be attracted to organizations that work toward the betterment of humanity, or they can be attracted to counterculture groups that react to the contradictions they see in society or in their social conditions. Aquarius can be creative, inventive, original, and progressive but can also be destructive, reactionary, unconventional, eccentric, or deviant, and it is up to Aquarius to learn the difference.

Aquarians just want to be a friend and be helpful. Sometimes their tendency to bond so strongly with another or a group causes them to adopt the impassioned sentiments of the other or the group. They take up philosophies, lifestyles, fashions, social attitudes, and such and derive their identity from their associations. They just want to be a friend and so go along with the movement of the collective pulse. They are principled but sometimes let their impassioned identification with what is to them popular override their individual sense of what is right and wrong. They can commit or support acts that, if they were to step back and look, would be seen as reactionary, confrontational, dissociative, or unfriendly toward certain others. They may not see the contradiction this is to their ideals.

Aquarians can be detached. Their idealism tends to cause them to intellectualize relationships. Their identification with their own ideals can cause them to be intensely independent. Even though they do bond with others, their ideals keep them separate and real intimacy and receptivity may be resisted. They have more of a friendship than a romantic attitude toward relationships. They can be eccentric and try to establish relationships that are unorthodox or experimental with mixed results. Their ideals about how a community should be can separate them from the community they are concerned for and really want to be a part of.

Life is mostly about the people we spend time with. This is so important that we tend to depend on others for our strength or to tell us what is right or wrong. We are exclusive in our friendships. We are friends with this person and not with that. We identify with this group and disassociate with another. We are loyal to one faction and therefore the other becomes our rival. The most important lesson Aquarius is here to learn is to see its own contradictions.

The task for Aquarians is to examine what is in their heart and be brave enough to stand up for it. Sometimes it is necessary for Aquarians to stand alone when their friends or group have a thought or want to do something that goes against what Aquarians know in their heart, but, if they don’t forsake the convictions of friendship, eventually, when others finally see the wisdom of Aquarians’ choice and example, they will not only be invited back, but probably will be asked to lead. Aquarians are natural born community builders and the goal is unity, not separation.

The best strategy for Aquarians is to stay the course, to listen to what their heart is telling them, not to disassociate from others, but rather to promote the ideals of friendship in their attitude and in their actions, and, by doing so, help to break down the barriers of exclusivity and nationalism and encourage an ever-expanding unity of brother/sisterhood.

Selfishness causes Aquarians to disassociate from others and be concerned mostly with their own independence, and the exclusively selected groups with mutually shared causes that determine their friendships and associations. Aquarians’ desire is that others recognize their special uniqueness and acknowledge their genius. It is difficult for Aquarians to see their own selfishness, because, in their dealings within the community, they see a world that does not live up to the common ideals of freedom, friendship, and community and feel like they are just being innovative. And the confusion comes because they are right that everyone must be ingenious and creative in helping to cause social change yet at the same time remember inter-dependency. Selfishness causes Aquarians to rationalize what is right and wrong and confuse the lines of righteousness by justifying being reactionary toward what they perceive as unrighteous. Aquarians are here to learn and discover that their ability to unite people rests in the ability to be an example that never compromises the ideals of friendship and community.

The discovery and use of electricity has revolutionized the world. Through its humanitarian application, the world’s problems can be alleviated. Aquarius’s message to the world is that we are all part of an interconnected, interdependent family. Aquarius says that the sense of friendship must be our guide in all our interactions. Aquarius must clarify and purify it’s heart to view with compassion the mistakes of others and wish only to help. Aquarians must not allow a reactionary view of the world to cause them to be self-serving or to use their creative genius to support exclusivity. It is only through identifying with being human oneself that one is able to understand how to be truly humanitarian.

Only the Divine knows truly the way to unite all people. By focusing their meditation on the opening of the Heart Chakra, Aquarians learn to be guided by the will of the Divine, to love one another, and to become the solution they wish to see in the world, the innovative, pioneering, resourceful example and inspiration the world needs.

When the Sun is in Aquarius, the Earth is in Leo. Aquarius focuses on the ideals, while Leo focuses on the personal expression of the ideals. Aquarius finds balance and harmony within itself when it focuses on developing a Leo perspective. Aquarius’s nature is to focus on the issues and causes of righteousness in the world; therefore focusing instead on one’s own inner righteousness brings balance to the Aquarius expression.

Earth in Leo

Earth in Leo, when the Sun is in Aquarius, indicates that Aquarians find completion when they focus on their inner honesty and developing genuine compassion in themselves. When Earth is in Leo, the social being that is Aquarius learns how to be a true friend through making sure to not compromise what one knows to be good i one’s efforts to bring about change. This friendly personality finds a way to connect and form alliances when it focuses on Leo goodheartness. Leo teaches Aquarius that it is a good heart that can see a good heart in others. This gives revolutionary Aquarius inner strength and a measure for truth, and facilitates and satisfies Aquarius’s need to serve the just cause. When Aquarius Sun becomes balanced with a Leo Earth, the Divinely inspired vision of community meets its most beloved citizen and the holy communion manifests.”

—Divine Love Astrology

#astrology #zodiac #birth chart #sun in aquarius #aquarius #earth in leo #leo

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shiny-procrastinates · 3 years

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(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 5

part 4 here

Hello everyone and welcome back to this... thing. Last time, we met Tsuruno, who I forgot to mention is voiced by the TrySail member we hadn't seen yet, Natsukawa Shiina. After meeting Tsuruno, our girls join Yachiyo in investigating the rumor of the Seance Shrine, that they in fact find, and left off with them meeting the people they were looking for. Are those the real deal? Guess we'll have to watch to find out.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 5

Rather than going back to where we left off right away, we are first treated to a flashback to the person Yachiyo asked to meet.

and of course, that inverted "sayonara" there in the background doesn't mean anything, nope.

Just by this little scene, we can guess that the person Yachiyo's searching for was also interested in the rumors about salvation. Yachiyo, however, doesn't wish to be saved like this person does. So what exactly happened to Yachiyo's friend?

Back to where we left off, Yachiyo and Iroha meet the people they had written the names of. Iroha runs after and hugs Ui, but the situation is quite strange. When Iroha takes a step back, this Ui starts repeating the ad about Kamihama like a broken record (haha, record). It's really unsettling. Iroha realizes this is a fake, looks around, sees the people that had disappeared and when she looks back Ui's fake is gone.

Iroha, that's a pretty concerning color your Soul Gem has right now...

While she's off doing that, Yachiyo confronts the Mifuyu that appeared to her. Hey, this one's actually behaving like a person, at least.

Yachiyo says she can't just believe she's real, so Mifuyu tells her some things that probably only the two of them should know, making Yachiyo have to concede that at least when it comes to memories she's the real deal.

That's kinda mean to say when you're the one who went ahead and disappeared.

Yachiyo questions Mifuyu about why she disappeared and asks her to come back but Mifuyu says she can't leave the shrine because her body has become too used to it. What is this, the underworld?

Mifuyu invites Yachiyo to stay instead, and Yachiyo is... hypnotized by the little pinwheel? I guess, but Iroha snaps her out of it.

Obviously, this Mifuyu was also a fake. Really raises the question on why this one is so life-like when Ui's was a walking ad.

For some reason, Yachiyo can't see the creepiness of the fake. She insists that they have to leave, but the fake Mifuyu refuses to. Seeing that, Yachiyo starts doubting she's the real Mifuyu again.

...really, what is up with that pinwheel? Yachiyo stares into it again and is, uh... cursed? I guess.

Seeing that, Iroha threatens the fake Mifuyu, who decides Iroha's the reason why Yachiyo won't stay so she has to erase her.

Mifuyu jumps around with her chakram hula hoop, boasting about her relation with Yachiyo, before attacking.

Can't really screenshot this but Mifuyu's movements while dodging Iroha's bolts are really nice, she’s like a ballerina.

...also, Iroha, your aim sucks. Though nice job noticing the hoop was also a boomerang.

...well, guess you're the one who has a void to fill in now. (this shot’s so nice)

being meguca is suffering.

Yachiyo defeats the fake Mifuyu with a fair deal of colateral damage to her sanity points. She cleans her Soul Gem with great difficulty, but the amount the Grief Seed she had in hand could clean was not enough. So Iroha comes in and uses her own spare one (which I think is the one she received from Yachiyo in ep1) to finish cleaning it. Yachiyo protests this but Iroha says she can't just abandon her.

When that's done, Tsuruno comes in to join them. Shes says the familiars outside suddenly disappeared, so she got worried and came here.

It seems like since they defeated the fakes, the master of this barrier decided to deal with them itself.

The girls try to put in some damage, but not even op Yachiyo's attacks manage to make a lasting effect. When Tsuruno loses her flames, Yachiyo creates a bullet hell and tells them to find a way out while she distracts the thing, but apparently Iroha's still on the "need to get stronger" mentality and refuses to back out, only to get wrecked.

Uhhhh... That's not very good. Are we losing our protagonist only five episodes in?

...this face is kinda heart-breaking. It's actually honestly impressive that she didn't witch out right then and there considering how unsettling fake Ui was and how her Soul Gem was already impure by then.

Iroha passes out, so Yachiyo carries her and Tsuruno and her make a run for it.

While they do that, Iroha's having some weird near-death experience (...I never died so I can't affirm it's weird). She sinks further and further, getting caught up in bandages and then, when she comes face to face with her own reflection, bandages cover her eyes and that reflection gains a creepy white mask(?).

Suddenly, the bandage materializes irl and we get a Elseve commercial-- I mean, no, Iroha witches-out...? Kinda...? Her hair has spawned a witch.

The animation on Iroha's hair here is really nice.

Hey, nice haircut!

The witch(?) of the Seance Shrine doesn't seem very happy to have a companion though, so it tackles Iroha's witch, which in turn binds it with its bandages and starts pecking.

Who'd win, an elephant lizard or a weird birb doll?

Just... absolutely brutal.

Iroha's witch tears apart the master of this barrier, and the Seance Shrine fades, delivering everyone back to Mizuna Shrine, including the people who had disappeared... and Iroha's witch. Wait, weren't witches supposed to only exist inside Labyrinths...?

Not satisfied with snacking on the rumor's monster, Iroha's witch decides Tsuruno is next on the menu but, before the restaurant girl can become food, a certain veteran comes in with a bang. Literally.

Iroha's witch gets a second hole in her body and spews Iroha out before fading. Then-

wait...

SPEWS IROHA OUT?

That's not how witches work!

Mami thinks that Iroha is a witch pretending to be a human, so she's determined to eliminate her (to be fair, she only saw Iroha with the witch, so...). Yachiyo, however, tells her to step down, and you could almost see the sparks flying between them.

Yachiyo and Tsuruno manage to make Mami give up on shooting Iroha, so Mami changes the subject to what she had heard from Kyuubei.

Yachiyo, I don't think this is the best time to be picking a fight...

Mami confirms that she's aware of what's going on and Yachiyo says it's none of their problem, and she should keep her territory's problems on her own territory. Geez, Yachiyo, calm down. It's not like she tried to shoot one of your friends or- oh.

Yachiyo: “You must be at least this tall to enter Kamihama.“

Mami did say she didn't want to pick a fight with Kamihama's magical girls, so she decides to retreat quietly for the day, but not before leaving some veteran advice for Tsuruno:

Which girl, Mami? Yachiyo or Iroha?

Leaving this cryptic piece of advice, Mami takes off, as well as the chibi Kyuubei, that she conveniently didn't see.

Inside Iroha's mind, she's freed from being a temporary mummy and instead starts having a weird dream.

In the near future, you'll get targeted ads in your dreams.

"I didn't sign up for this."

Iroha can't catch a break.

When she wakes up, Iroha's in an unknown room. She notices that her Soul Gem is completely clean now. Very suspicious.

I may or may not have an absurd amount of screenshots of this place to use as reference for drawing.

Iroha does some exploring and finds Yachiyo, because this is Yachiyo's place. Yachiyo says she carried her there since she was unconscious, and asks if she wants to call her parents, to which Iroha just shakes her head quietly. Of course, Iroha's parents aren't around so there's no real point in her calling them. Convenient in this situation, but kinda sad all around. Yachiyo doesn't pry.

Iroha realizes she must've been there a while and makes to leave immediately but Yachiyo points out it's past the hour public transport works (even in the near future, huh). While Iroha's visibly troubled, Yachiyo suggests she just stay over for the night.

...now Yachiyo I get telling a middle schooler to not walk about this late at night, but isn't that the time most magical girls act? lol

Dunno what this is but it looks good.

While Yachiyo prepares dinner, Iroha asks if there's anything she can help with, but Yachiyo just tells her to go rest some more, which she does.

"I have school tomorrow!" "...oh, it's Saturday." This is so relatable. Even when you're not at school anymore.

I shouldn't be that long since Iroha's parents left, but as expected it must be really lonely being all alone like this, with no friends and only an empty room reminding her of what she lost. Poor Iroha (man, how many more times will I have to write this...).

Sometime later, Yachiyo comes to call Iroha for dinner, but...

Yachiyo repeats her phrase from the begging of this episode, but with more parts now.

Yachiyo had told Iroha just the episode before that Iroha was held down by her past but, as it turns out, Yachiyo is even more so. These two's suffering is actually very alike: Both lost someone that meant the world to them, and now are searching for their lost parts while bearing their loneliness.

It's a short scene, but it's quietly one of the best ones until now in my opinion. It's beautiful, and does a great job in starting to touch upon Yachiyo's true nature. Even the kinda on-the-nose shot of her being "trapped" by the window is good. 10/10 on this one.

Oh, also, if I had to give one difference between Yachiyo and Iroha in this context, it'd be that while Iroha is adamant that her sister existed and that she'll find her somehow, Yachiyo's way of talking about Mifuyu don't sound like she thinks they'll meet again sometime, despite her searching for her. From my point of view, there are two reasons for this: one is that Iroha might just break if she ever stops believing. Could you imagine? Realizing the sister you've traded your soul for, your only friend and most important thing, never actually existed. That's a one-way ticket to despair if I ever saw one. The other one is that Yachiyo, like fake Mifuyu touched briefly on, has been a magical girl for years now. Whether she knows the truth or not, it's easy to imagine that the longer you live as one the more aware you are of how easy it's to die in this path. If Yachiyo has seen a lot of other magical girls fall around her in all those years, it's quite possible a part of her believes Mifuyu is missing because she's dead. Which is... very tragic.

Well, anyways...

"There's no place for you here."

It's particularly ironic to have this title card show up just after a scene where Iroha's sleeping on Mifuyu's room.

Also, DON'T LEAVE YET.

I did it again, I forgot there were after-credit scenes, again!

Somewhere else, Momoko's team was getting their butt handed to them by a witch and Kaede, the only one left standing, despairs and does the same thing Iroha did.

Kaede, however, doesn't get the benefit of being knocked out like Iroha, so she very understandably freaks out.

"Could I be a witch?" I mean, technically...

One thing Kaede has got right, though: This is definitely not normal.

When magical girls witch out, their Soul Gems are supposed to turn into Grief Seeds, but here not only Iroha and Kaede's Soul Gems were perfectly fine, they were even purified for them. I vaguely remember Sayaka summoning Octavia in Rebellion, but I don't think this is it either. Well, it's a good thing for the girls so not that I'm complaining but what the heck is going on here?

...of course, I already know the answer to this, but making you curious is my job :v

With all of that said (and put all in that this was looong), I hope to see you guys tomorrow as we watch episode 6 and try to put together the pieces of the many puzzles Magia Record has given us. See you next time!

#Magia Record #Puella Magi Madoka Magica #magireco #pmmm magia record

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daredevile · 4 years

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A Second Here Another Gone

Summary: Blinded by the sweet raptures of a new relationship, Bucky lowers his guard around you - unaware of the real reason you found him.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, mentions of blood, bit of violence and one swear word

A/N: Hey! I know it’s been over two months since I posted something and I’m sorry! I was working on so many oneshots and never finished one until now. But, I promise I will try to update somewhat regularly from now on! Anyway, this one’s for Ayesha’s [ @browngirlmagic ] writing challenge and my prompt was ‘Echo’. Please reblog if you like it! :)

An angry crimson. A so-called scarlet elixir of the living trickles from its hearth beneath as if screaming a symbol of horror and impending doom. It surrenders with grace and elegance - a droplet of fresh blood tainting pristine white floors, smearing the Parthenon of life and death with an intensity of wrath and violence and -

"Hey." The sombre tone in his voice draws you into his weary stature. It looks worse than he'd assured over the phone. Raging clusters of purple and blue spread across his arms, broken lip, black eye, his jaw cast a scarlet tint. Not to mention the slight limp he'd tried masking from your stares.

"Thanks for coming so fast. Would've driven myself but..." He motions to the cast around his right arm, a light pink dusting over his cheeks. A nurse approaches him with a sympathetic expression, repeating a list of instructions and medication requirements for a quick recovery. Though you know Bucky's not following a word she's saying - she must've realised it too - giving you a moment for any questions before returning to her station.

The conversation in the car is non-existent, only a couple of instinctive glances towards the rear-view mirror to gauge each other's emotions. Soft tunes twirl in the background, Bucky lowers the volume with a grunt as his muscles sting with the movement. A sigh escapes from his lips, he angles himself towards your concentrated form but, you refuse to meet his gaze.

"Y'know it's not as bad as it looks. Should've seen the other guy." He says with a constrained laugh. An honest attempt to relieve the tensed wind and the crease between your eyebrows, alas, it fails its purpose. He sinks back into the cushioned seat, lingering his eyes over the neon streaks of passing vehicles.

The road seems never-ending, both sides merely converging at a distant imaginary point ahead. The traffic dissolves and scatters into several busy paths as Bucky directs you through far too many left and right turns before arriving at a rather calm and vacant neighbourhood.

Once the engines lull back into a soft purr, you open the passenger door and gently grasp his arms as he lifts himself from the seat. He releases a breath in relief, thankful your silence is replaced by concern. The two flights of stairs is another journey on its own, exchanging mumbles of apologies and groans, even the close proximity of him curves past your thoughts.

Bucky stumbles into his apartment, careful to avoid the loose floorboard right at the entrance - pushing a horrible reminder to the back of his mind - and you follow his footing. A chuckle from him pulls your attention, determined he's capable on his own, he leans away from your hold, mentioning something about taking a shower before retreating into the furthest room.

His house is spotless, every single object kept in a place for swift and efficient access. Somehow he'd made a rather confined area appear more spacious. You notice how foreign and hostile he maintained his home - a supposed personal bubble. His belongings danced around the hazy line between bare essentials and other items. Almost as if he was caught in the process of moving in or ready to move out within a matter of minutes.

A sharp buzz from your phone stops you from observing the rest of the apartment. Without sparing a glimpse at the caller, you swipe the green button. An instant thrust of shouting greets you, attacking your senses with great vigour. And it's patience, you've learned, an offensive strategy to appease the monster into a human you could better tolerate.

"I need time." It's not forceful, however, lacking a timbre of the usual intensity your words uphold. The shouting continues, each syllable seething with fury, demanding more answers while your fist clenches at the vulgar threats he hurls from the other end.

"I need more time."

There's dead silence on both ends. And for a second, you believe that he's accepted the command. As fast as it'd ignited, the little spark of surprise disintegrates when his deep laughter is all that's pounding in your ears.

"You're here!" Bucky says, grinning as he spots you in the balcony, "Thought you left me alone."

His sudden appearance turns your blood cold and you can feel the precise second your heart trips over a beat, shoving the phone back into your pocket. His smile drops, immediately regretting how he entered as soon as he saw the pained expression written all over your features. He sighs when your eyes witness the red wounds and scars - some more jarring than others - scattered across his body.

"Look, I know this isn't a good impression. I don't want you to see me like this, trust me, I wouldn't have called if I had - " A pause. Hesitant as he swallows back the words. "Anyone else."

"I'm sorry, Bucky. This is all just... difficult." He nods, fumbling with the loose bandage tied to his other arm. A smile tugs on your lips at his frustration, you grab the free end and wrap it securely around the wound.

"Could you maybe stay? I mean... if you want to." He struggles to suppress a grin when you look up at his eyes. It's hope that lingers behind them.

"Of course."

But the side where you slept is cold and empty when he wakes up.

---

O N E W E E K E A R L I E R

The restaurant was crowded, located right at the heart of the city, overlooking several busy streets that seemed to sink under all the hustle and bustle. The world appeared an innocent umber through the dark hue of your sunglasses, shielding yourself from unwanted enemies. Or so you thought.

Time. Time was precious and no amount of glancing at your watch appeared to have quickened the circular orbit of the dials. But this time, you were unsure - caught between the dichotomous chasm of want and need - a feeling that unsettled you to the core.

"Hope you don't mind, darling." A deep voice came from behind, the drinks spilt over the glasses as he slammed his hand on the table. The elderly couple sitting to your left flinched at his abrupt action. A fake smile was enough to have satisfied them, he returned to face your blank expression.

"So tell me, does it usually take this long or are you fucking him?" It was almost a growl that promptly simmered to a smirk when a waitress passed by, unaware of the evil she'd encountered.

"He'll figure it out, I'm being careful." You said, oblivious to the scorching hot liquid piercing your taste buds. Any shard of fun and pleasure that had emerged from his features earlier crumbled at that very second, he leaned closer and you saw the strain on his face when his jaw clenched. Rumlow was not one to adjust and compensate. You learned that the hard way.

"Listen l/n, I saved you from Volkov 'cause you'd be useful someday. And now you owe me. Gave you a week to do the job, it's been two and I still got nothing. And you know I don't like waiting. Get me the information and finish him or should I remind you what's at stake here."

His voice was dangerously low as if cautious of people overhearing but, you knew it would take mere seconds for the scene to resemble a massacre. Yet, he was right. Your past record highlighted the speed and efficiency of completing assignments - just one hit then delivered to the client and you walked away richer. No hesitation. Unfortunately, this time it was Bucky who had a price on his head and had obtained confidential information.

A folder was thrown at your direction, containing photographs of innocents at different viewpoints through what was unmistakably sniper scopes. Rumlow mimicked the sound of a gun cocking before standing up. He bent down to whisper in your ear, laughing while he pressed a brief kiss to your cheek and walked into the sea of people. His last words were all that you breathed.

Barnes or your family.

---

Bucky sidesteps the soldier-like stance of a grumpy looking man, clearing his throat to alleviate the embarrassment of breaking under his penetrating stare. He didn't know what the guy's problem was, Bucky ignores the annoyed tsk that's clearly targetted at him. On any other occasion, a meaningless interaction with strangers would've flown over his head. But, today he's confused. Scared, even.

Less than two weeks ago, he'd encountered and been drawn to an enigma. Strong yet intricately pieced together. Delicate yet resilient. He just couldn't figure it out. After all, he thought everything became normal once he'd spoken and apologised last night. Expecting to be woken up by sunshine and ruffled sheets from a good sleep and you sleeping soundly, but you were gone without a word - and he just doesn't understand.

And now, here he is, shuffling through busy routes to follow a briskly walking figure who's intrigued him for half an hour. They seem to have no destination, simply taking sharp turns and descending into valleys of crowds and streetside markets. In a hurry, Bucky thinks. He picks up his pace, there seem to be fewer people in this area. It's darker and easily hidden between the lanes of houses.

He turns the corner and realises there are no other paths. A dead-end. The figure spins around, eyes flitting around the narrow path. He panics and begins to retreat, but the all-too-familiar cock of the gun stills his movements. Nothing. No moment in his entire life scared him more than the person standing a few steps away -

It's you.

He freezes when your finger curls around the trigger and the innocence in your eyes dissolve. Every single instinct in his body is telling him to run. But he can't. He wants to know more, to know why. And he realises you're thinking the same when your hand begins to tremble.

"Whose orders?"

It's a tone he's never heard before. Cold and detached. A machine programmed to do one's bidding with no second thoughts. He raises both hands, swallowing the agonising feeling latching onto his throat as your grip tightens.

"Don't lie to me, Barnes. Who ordered you to kill me?"

There's no choice. His heart is clawing the insides of his chest, waiting to be free. A whisper is all it takes to conquer your feelings.

"Volkov."

Bucky knows the moment his name is released into the strangling air between you, the gun falters. He sees the rapid and minute shift of your eyes, composing all the information together until -

Your voice staggers, pleading almost. "They have my family, Bucky. He'll kill them if you don't tell me where Volkov is. Rumlow - "

Bucky stops listening. Rumlow, a name he'd left behind, buried within the depths of conscience along with Hydra. He understands your assignment, a simple extract and kill. What Volkov had promised in exchange for your life - Steve's whereabouts - seemed too good to be true, maybe a possible reality in a utopian world. But, this is his life and it's not paradise. He takes a few steps until his hands hover over your gun, angling it towards his heart.

"Then save them."

He whispers the location and you try to zone out, lose control so you don't hear his words. It's too late, two snipers emerge from buildings on command, both taking positions on either side of where you're standing. The chill that runs down Bucky's spine doesn't go unnoticed as he spots the red skull badge on their sleeves. Rumlow knew you wouldn't kill him.

Bucky nudges your chin with the tips of his fingers, reaching into his jacket, he slips his gun into your hands. No words are spoken but you know what has to be done.

Taking a much-needed breath, you pull the trigger at him, not witnessing the wine coloured liquid spreading across his chest instead, taking cover before shooting one of the snipers lurking near a thin pillar. The other one begins firing near the car you are ducking behind. You sprint into his blind spot and kill him with a shot to his head.

Without wasting another second, you spot Bucky clutching his chest in pain. It takes a frozen second for you to dial 911, shaking with dread before Rumlow sends any more of his men and the chances of Bucky surviving vanish. A concerned voice replies to your incohesive string of words, you're barely making sense, the nurse ends the call ensuring 'they're on the way'. Bucky grabs your hand amongst the turmoil, light-headed and pale from the blood seeping through his clothes.

"This isn't goodbye."

And you run.

---

E I G H T M O N T H S L A T E R

Even after weeks of desperately searching for him, he was nowhere to be found. You'd gone back to the hospital, the nurse gave you a distressed glance, saying he hadn't mentioned anywhere in particular. That he was gone once discharged.

You didn't give up though - he'd sacrificed himself for your family in a sheer heartbeat. Bucky was the wind to your storm - a second here another gone. He was mysterious beneath the layers of kindness and affection, tender yet deep like the lyrics of a love song - words you've yet to discover, only hoping you weren't wrong.

A few of your old confidantes were able to carry out under-the-ground operations in exchange for Bucky's location: Edinburgh.

Under the chilly winter winds, you walk along the snow-freckled pavement. Sitting at a dark wooden bench inspecting calming patterns of skate lines etched across the river's icy surface, puffs of crisp air revealing themselves as you sigh.

"I was right."

His voice beckons a long-awaited smile on your face. Sharp blue eyes gazing at a few younger skaters wobbling while they glide along. You begin to stammer out an apology, but he shakes his head, still not meeting your eyes.

"You had no choice."

"Did you find him?" You ask eagerly as he takes a seat next to you.

"Pulled a few strings with some old contacts." Bucky turns to face you, a genuine smile he hadn't felt in ages tugs his lips. He takes your gloved hand in his, entangling his fingers with yours with a dazed look washing over his features.

"He's here."

#ayesha1kwritingchallenge #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky fluff #winter soldier #marvel #mcu

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roseprincesskristina · 4 years

Text

Zero's Delicious Revenge

((Hey guys and gals. Just wanna revamp a few sentences to make really clear and steamy for ya. Once again for those who are young, you don't need to read this fiction. It's for adults only. So without any further ado, please enjoy the story! 😊))

Downwards into the dark yet unknown torture room, somewhere hidden or secret underneath the Hunter Base, that no one, not even the pacifist hunter would even try to find out about it. For it is unlike any other styles that anyone saw into a horror movie or shows watched on TV. Someone crazed for domination to arrive towards humanity to become rid of from earth before the true beginning of a new world for only the strongest reploids to stand by his side until there's nothing left. A former commander of the Maverick Hunters whose morality have morphed from sane to mad due to the unavoidable Wily Virus, have been chained against or to the walls built with auto control restraints just to cease him from planning to flee. He is known as Sigma, supreme king of the Mavericks. He would slowly open his eyes to regain his consciousness. The last thing that he had remembered is from the previous battle with Zero, now becoming stronger than he was in the past and won. Secondly, thinking about trying to become victorious until the continuation of his usual schemes by erasing the existence of all organic individuals once and for all. Before delivering the drastic finale, the fire colored hunter would then pull out a powerful trick from his sleeve, by transforming into the unstoppable Absolute Zero. Ending the epic duel at once with a quick swift of his Calamitous Arts, damaging his arch foe without hesitation thus far. Humiliation has clothed him for his arrogance against the Class A sword wielder, the sins poured upon his greatness as punishment for the destruction of mankind while his enemy calls for backup to arrest him.

"This is not over yet, hunter... In return, I will regain my dream of creating a new world for only the strongest reploids to become free of the disdainful humans..." Pledged the defeated boss, growling of vengeance. Before escorting him to the containment jail, the scarlet crusaders proceeded toward him with hands planted on the hips and smirked at him mockingly.

"Honestly, I hardly felt bad for you, Sigma. For your so called dreams for a grand world, always end up being turned into ruin by us Maverick Hunters. And yet, you still don't learn. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll earn yourself a private underground cell for not so long time until you're a good boy." He chuckled. "And by the way, I'll be your harden warden from now on." Then he patted the bald villain's head until snapping his fingers as a signal for the other hunters to take him away to HQ.

And now, here he is. Trapped within the doorless shack of a prison facility, covered into the wounds of his nemesis's claws and arms completely destroyed or hacked off permanently.

"Argh.... C...Curse him.... I had almost dismantled him if I didn't gain the chance to strike him down before his transformation...." Staggered the irregular boss, coughing up a few drops of blood while trying to speak clearly. "W...Where am I? And....what happened to my arms?!"

His answers to a few mysterious questions was right above him the entire time, from the last fight as he was hanging upside down like a bat into the cave. But this time, he's the repli-fied version.

"He he he he he he...... Oh poor useless commander... You still haven't learn, have you? Always posing yourself as the large hotshot whose too perfect to clean his pride... Or maybe to wash his own ass..." Said the unknown reploid. Chuckling darkly at his failure.

"You... Show yourself this instant and face me!" Screamed the big boss of the Maverick society, looking into a slow condition to view who is was.

A surprise has rained down upon him when the blacked themed android hovers by land, revealing himself to him as, you guest it, Zero. He grinned with a menacing plot in store for the scarred villain in chains, with no arsenal or hands to protect him from his deadly claws.

"Peek-a-boo...."

"So it is you, Zero..."

"Hello, Sigma... How do you like your new home? It suits your doomed misery quite well, obviously. But enough of that. Because I'm your worst nightmare now and this time, my revenge for turning me against my boyfriend by your pathetic control is strongly personal.... "

"Hmph... Ignorant hunter.... Do you really think your feeble threats would even phase me, the unbeatable Sigma? You're completely out of your elements..." He scoffed. "No one would ever hope to defeat m-!"

Then, he was interrupted by the clawed hand grasping violently just to shut him up. But the goth themed vampire was still calm with expression, not even amazed by his gloating whatsoever.

"Sigma Sigma Sigma... Seriously, are you even listening to yourself? That sad attempted speech of yours is always humiliating to me. Plus, it really annoys the hell out of me completely more than Axl's immaturity. No matter what you always do in order to change the world for your disgusting amusement, it will always fail by my hands, including X's. Using me as your so called "prized creation" just to force my decisions into beating my beloved boyfriend, but not this time. Nor ever. From now on, I'm in control of my own self today, and let's just say, that you're positively shit out of luck here. Without your precious minions to cover your helpless ass or anything that you hold dear within your pockets, it's all gone. Every. Single. One. And guess what, big boy? You're gonna be much more fun to play with when nobody's even around to interrupt our alone time... And additionally, my bitch..."

Proceeding his face and body towards him into a close action while placing the claws onto his chest, grinning once more but showing his devious white diamond fangs. Ready to pierce some flesh and synthetics. Before doing to what Sigma would've thought of his opponent would do, he whispers into his ear port with a flirtatious manner.

"But you know what, I think you're actually kinda hot when you're vaguely miserable and weak in that naughty condition~ In fact, it makes me very, VERY horny to just suck your wounded lips right now~ And mostly, I find you aggressively attractive~" He said with a quiet yet sultry tone, placing his hands onto the big bad wolf's cheeks. Staring into his eyes before the beginning of this "tortuous interrogation". "How about a little fun, or maybe perhaps, a kiss~?"

"W...What?!" He said in a surprised state, weakly blushing. Hardly anything in his mind to reply, but alas, he was silenced by the biting kiss in the mouth.

"Hissssssssssssss~ Hush your shitty tongue, "commander"~ And let me drain your glorious bravery from your broken chatterbox...sexually~" Hissed the terrifying blood sucker silently, attempting to zip his trap by pressing his mouth into the former commanding officer's.

And finally during the horrifying talk towards him, the blond demon would desperately began to make out with his enemy all over as well as the jacked neck. Hands stroking from behind the back so smoothly, running his tongue across the face and travels into his mouth by a deep kiss. So hungrily that the core inside of him is pleading for more, but his revenge needs it instead.

"Mmmph! Mmmph!" He once again shouted, trying to break away the unbreakable mouth lock.

"Mmmm~ Oh yes~ I want to hear your crying squeals, big boy~ It really increases my thirsty needs~" Moaned Zero, craving for more of such delectable hollers. How it does represent the music to his hearing ports. Much more beautiful to enjoy.

In difficult situations like the ones during a kidnapping scene, where a victim was abducted by a criminal for a proper beating of sexual abuse in order to get what they want. Right now, it's almost similar to what the winged Wily bot is doing to the irregular king, but with a tortuous seduction with no conclusion until vengeance has been earned immediately. He is strongly mad for such a massive neck like Sigma's during his love making madness. Scratching his bald head into a circulatory motion, slurping in his mouth all forcibly as the starving loin waiting for his prey to appear for dinner. Such depraved agony for the doomed ex commander, now trapped within the palms of his vampiric warden.

He finally started to shiver in cowardice increasingly due to the visions he had. Now, that nightmare has came true to scare away his soul, if he had one. Attempting to retrieve his bravery by shrugging his head to get away, but a futile trickery such as that will grant him the maximum dose of terrorized punishment.

"It's effortless to think about fighting back in your weak condition, big man~ In fact, there isn't gonna BE any hope for you now~ He he he he~" Chuckled the menacing android. Continuously slobbering more pain and destruction upon the crushed master of evil. Instead, with a passionate position during his permanent mouth to mouth kiss.

"Mmmmph....! Mmmmmmmph!"

"Mmm~ Mmmmmm~ God, your bruised lips are so hot, papa~ It's just the way I like it for the first time~ The desirable pain from you has gotten me REALLY satisfied~" For he's quite right, this torturing phenomenon was incredibly intriguing to him. "Give it to me, ya big bitch~"

"You are...foolishly insane, Zero...." Coughed the battered evil doer, whose spirit will be crushed soon until the nightmare was over.

"That's right~ I'm correctly bat shit for your helplessness showering all over me, running all over my crotch just to please me~ But now, I want more from you~" Licking his pale lips of a starving attitude, he approached himself to the large baddie for a second of his weaken but scrumptious kiss.

"Pucker up, daddy~" Whispered the hard killing droid, yearning for some kinky tongue to tongue action. Inserting his into the enemy for a slow search of his cowardice to eat. Deeper than ever before.

Sigma, also known as the ultimate leader of all things irregular who rules with a powerful yet gruesome fist than iron, has now become the frantic victim of unlimited chaos which is standing in front of him. No hope, dreams, weapons or arms. All that he have ever possessed was already taken from him by force. Along with his rank, popularity, fearlessness and spirit, now belonging to the evil dark themed hunter to steal. It was all over for him as he began to talon his whole body, instead of ripping it off. Having his entire armor to freeze with more restraint. Greatly scared for his life, Zero forcibly pins him to the wall for some delectable playtime at last. Or otherwise, his dinner.

"Well, Sigma~ I'd really hate to stop our get together activity so soon, however, there's nothing more better than to snack onto something....fierce~ Ah~ And finally it was there in front of me the whole time~"

"No.... P...Please.... I beg of you.... Anything but this...." He shattered with fear.

"Shhh~ Don't worry, big bear~ I'm fully aware that it won't hurt....much~" Purred the onyx incubus, with red eyes glowing unlike the dangerous monster in the closet.

The grand finale has made its appearance, for the long patience has been concluded at last. He tilted his head closely to the neck of a muscular maverick who is permanently victimized and surrounded by the ghosts of Nightmare Viruses floating above him, taunting his failures for not destroying the elite forces or to achieve his desires for a paradise world for reploids only. All will go against him for eternity when it comes to weaknesses. For he had no other choice but to give in of being a slave.

"Do as you wish.... For I lack the reason to live without the purpose... You have won... Maverick Hunter Zero..." He finally admitted towards him. Losing his chances to establish a new world to rid the humans from hoping to ever exist alongside reploids.

"Now that's more like it~... But unfortunately, it's too late for apologies this time~"

Then, finally, he have inserted his fangs deeply into his opponent's neck, sexually feasting in peace until Sigma began to scream loudly just to satisfy his extreme vengeance forever.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeeeeeeeeessss~ Scream for me now, big daddy~" He whispered, impaling the pointed fangs deeper. Ohh, you're such a naughty maverick, aren't ya~? Looks like I'm gonna have to punish you more~" Aroused Zero.

He kept preying even harder, but moans in complete and utter silence while holding the threatening villain down. Wrapping his arms around the body to claw diagonally into a calm pace to full his enjoyment. Grinding his black armored anatomy onto his with extreme lust, grasping his enormous ass with one of his hands and slaps it into a hot way during his fun time. Secondly, participated into the tongue lock as well before folding his wings around both of them for a darker privacy in mind. WIthout interferences.

"Mmmmmm~ Oh Sigma~ Sweet Sigma~ How I love your terrifying squeals of the night~ For it bounds before my superiority as the new and true badass of Abel City to welcome my powerfulness~ Feed me more of your fear~ For my hunger for revenge has reached its end~ But my meal will never become the conclusion~" He spoke, licking his ear port all the way. Once again, hissing very loudly to return to the neck for an endless supper.

"No.... It couldn't be....No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

"He he he.... Keep howling, Sigma boy~ But nobody's gonna hear it from you~ And now, it's dinner time~" Running his extended tongue once more and across his decimated body before going back on his dinner. Caressing over his steel crotch by interest has shown a lustful smirk upon his pale face for just a little scavenger hunt.

"Damn, Sigma~ That's a nice looking bolt you got down here~" Impressed the shadowed blonde, soothing the maverick lord's glory box.

"U...Ugh...." Groaned the threatening villain whose throat have been crippled, felt of his rival's bladed claws tighten of the grasp by the crotch.

"Mmm~ You know, it would be very bad of me just to ruin a sexy piece of massiveness, but it makes a perfect chance for me to punish it~" And so, with that of a remarkable thought in mind of interrogation, he grips the golden treasure of his arch enemy due to the extreme hardness, provoking the scarred eyed devastator to groan of a scream for a clear taste. Including a few slappings, motioning, etc to force him to cry.

"Oh yes~ I wanna hear more of your agonizing squeals, big baby~ it makes my body feel so hot~" Intrigued the black clad vampire. "Even your low hardness really inspires my interests when I "abuse" it~"

And so, he does that when dominating the large superior's hard bolt so sensually. Caressing, groping along with a little thirsty cheek licking to rise up the mood of this dungeon as well as his interests.

"Man, you must've been exercising that brave box quite a lot, Sigma~" He meowed, while running his tongue all over the face. "But, I bet it can hardly survive against my bloody palms~"

"Grr...." He snarled, like an impatient toddler.

"Oh there's no need to get all pouty, my commanding slave~ While I'm the king of this jungle, all I can do now is torment your fragile yet gorgeous body with mine~ All the time~" Leaning his body against the enemy's for an even fascinating fun, secondly with his hand remained attached towards the harden maverick jewel by grip. Purring rapidly into his ear port and advancing his tongue all over him including the neck, legs, lips and ears. Grinding endlessly, anatomy to anatomy into a sensually condition. Every single time or day and night.

"U...Unh..." Moaned the irregular predator, who either enjoys the torment or despise it.

"Mmmm~ Come on, big bitch~ You know you love it when I ground you for being a naughty maverick~" He hissed seductively, taking the other hand to spank his massive ass. "Unh~ Mmm~ Now who's your master~?

"H...Hmph..." He refused. But without his bravery or fearlessness to save him from the clad hunter. "You are...."

"Good boy~ Now let me kiss you and everything you have, so violently~" He purred again, pulling his face towards for an aggressive lip to lip in order to please his hunger. Deeply with force all over with no stopping whatsoever, along with the grabbing of the ass and polishing his body by smooth grinding.

"Unh.... U... Unh...."

"Oh yes~ Yes~ Give it to me, big boy~ Unh~ Unh~ God, you're even more sexier in your disintegrated state~" He moaned without ever needing to rest.

Then, the enormous overlord have descended his heartbroken tears from his peers, wanting the ex maverick to wipe them all out by his tongue and silencing his sobbing with a relaxing mouth lock once more. Returning to yet another of his private torture by sensually neck kissing all the way before it's done.

"Mmm~ Your bold neck is so delectable and yet, very sexy as hell, big daddy~" He said to the leader of the mavericks with an invigorating tone, making love to it. "Somehow, I'm amused of its crippled feature right now, but I still think of it as honestly hot~"

And that, it's absolutely true. For the horrid neck does look very tasty at its best for the shadow armored hunter's sexual liking. For his attempt to abuse it for a slight minute would even cause him to blush of naughtiness. Or perhaps something else. But no matter to him anyway for his continuation of the victim's neck will be the most scrumptious meal of all.

"C...Curse you once more, Zero.... Curse your impudent foolishness for destroying my schemes...." Growled the half broken mad maverick weakly.

"Aww, tryna burf out your little insults at me~? Now that's not very nice at all~ But since you've been an honest prick of a maverick, I'll decide to let you off with a warning~" Spoke the reploid demon. Slurping his tongue all across the ear port and the bulk chest before going back to his playful supper.

"I'm gonna enjoy violating you in your dreams so badly, bitch~" He said, continuously crippling the ex superior by punishing his body after everything he took away that was dear to him, sucking on his nose and mouth very hard.

"Y...You barbaric maniac..." He spilled. All cramped and battered from an endless torture.

"Mmm~ I love it when your low level insults kept pouring all over me~ It feels so hot~" The blond was intrigued, caressing his body while imagining himself being showered by his bald nemesis's crappy ridicules. Rocking his tongue around like crazy. Resuming his private business by slobbering once more all over the irregular king by fangs, pleasuring his iron crotch into a loop while breathing a sultry hiss towards his face.

"Hisssssssssssss~"

"U...Ugh... Argh...."

Unfortunately, his endless playtime with Sigma had almost arrive to a close, but not until it's over as the blonde blade wielder could punish him again by granting a poisonous smooch by the mouth, in order to drain his strategies and movements along. Without any hope not freedom to slice off the unbreakable chains of trapped seduction. He have felt the deadly serum venturing inside his mind or traveling everywhere, losing his consciousness that quickly.

"That's for ruining everyone and both mine as well as my friend's lives by your damn stench of human obliteration.... " Hissed Zero, extending his clawed hand into a reach to grab his prisoner's chin before "cursing" him with one last kiss.

He chuckled as his final words before meeting his critical demise by death.

"Sleep tight forever, my former commander~" He grinned menacingly, pushing his pale yet frost lips with a deep force into the irregular king's. Laying his hands upon his boned face for an icy love/torture making of a lifetime before the gruesome decapitation to shut his existence for good.

"And good riddance~" Before ending the crumbled maverick villain's existence, he offered the frosty smooch once more into the lips for the last time. Never to look or think about his devious comeback no longer.

"Mmmm~ Ahhh~" Gifting him this frosted "curse" should be able to permanently force the arrogant ex leader of HQ to slumber for all eternity until the final decapitation. By a quick swipe of his claws to end the life of Sigma, severing his head from the body. "And lastly, thanks for the perfect meal~" The deed has been finished. No mavericks, no problems. He then taste his blood by licking his hand. Finger by finger.

"Mmmm~ Delicious~"

And thus, his revenge has purposely created a new ending. Perhaps a peaceful version, to be exact. However, the full course was no longer done just yet until every drip of blood was driven dry from his body. Thankfully, his very schemes have been declined for good this time. And tranquility had once again return to embrace all beings as well as reploids and humanity. All thanks to the heroic Maverick Hunters.

Few days later when nighttime arises, peace has regain its true colors once more due to the rigorous defeat of the insanely mastermind of the mavericks, plus, to allow all civilians and reploids to live as equals forever. At least for now. Hovering above the building in front of the blissfully snow themed moon, The dark vampiric droid would be able to live free from the horrid shackles of bad memories grappling him down, or to become a mindless puppet to use for trying to kill the blue B Class. But it's all over. Within his hand, grasps the head of his frighten victim after his "interrogation" from earlier. However, it was quite intriguing. Before descending towards a new mission, he lifted it up and closely to make love by kissing it one last time.

"Thanks again for the wonderful evening we have together, big boy~ Quite a shame that you won't be around to view my victories after all~" He purred, pressing his lips softly and hard deeply into Sigma's. Sadly, that was his first and last tongue kiss he had with the bat themed individual, even though that he is decapitated from his body. Deserting the broken head by hurling it faraway into the ocean of force.

"And good bye, you sexy bitch~" He blew a kiss after tossing his enemy's damaged head for good, never to be seen again until he heads for a new reconnaissance.

In conclusion, the war was completely done with as we speak. Not only justice was decently served at last, but his vengeance as well. To him, revenge is the most scrumptious dish ever made cold.

The End

#megaman #zero #sigma #absolute zero #yaoi #vampire #fan fic #incubus #2020

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kolbisneat · 4 years

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MONTHLY MEDIA: December 2019

Oof what a year! It’s been a rollercoaster and I realize I haven’t been posting much art this month. I’m heads down working on my Neverland role playing setting (out next fall, I think!) and thus it’s been quiet. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t still taken time to read and watch things and such! Here’s how I spent the month of December!

……….FILM……….

Knives Out (2019) Just incredible. It’s beautiful and subversive while still delivering on the expectations of a murder mystery. It’s one of those films that just feels like everyone was having a great time making it and I think we need more of these in the theatres. Absolutely worth checking out.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) You know, I just don’t think this film was for me. I saw it with a quartet and felt like the varying opinions was a good breakdown of what worked and what didn’t. The person who grew up with Star Wars and thoroughly knows the universe loved every minute of it. Totally satisfied. The person who has maybe seen half of the 9 movies had nooooooo idea who half the original cast was and never really got a sense of what the point of the movie was. Like what was the driving thrust? Control over...the galaxy? I guess. Anyway, I don’t know if I would’ve enjoyed it more if I didn’t know all the drama outside of the actual films, but I can’t avoid that now. At its core, I think the movie tried to do too much and in doing so, didn’t do enough. It spent so much unnecessary time with old characters and it diluted the time we spent with the new cast. The action felt empty and I just don’t think I was the target audience for this movie. And that’s fine.

Noelle (2019) Very much ABC/TGIF Christmas movie vibes. The sets were fun and there were some wonderfully touching moments in there. It felt a little long and maybe that’s where editing it into a 2 hour block with commercial breaks would’ve helped.

……….TELEVISION……….

The Mandalorian (Episode 1.01 to 1.01) This is Star Wars that worked for me and hopefully future movies will follow this template aka be inspired by the iconography of the world but expand and tell light/smaller stories. It’s fun when Star Wars is fun.

You (Episode 2.01 to 2.10) This season doesn’t ask for any more suspension of disbelief as the first season and I think that’s incredible. It’s still a little kooky, but continues to be relevant and unsettling. Great performances and a fascinating exploration of the old and new characters.

Swamp Thing (Episode 1.01 to 1.02) The casting is a little jarring (I recognize that there are real life scientists that are Hollywood handsome and beautiful, but it just feels a little boring) and I haven’t quite gotten past it. With that said, the pacing has been brisk and the effects are stellar.

……….READING……….

Dracula vs Hitler by Patrick Shean Duncan (Page 240/500) Perhaps the title and premise presents a slightly pulpier story but I’m still a big fan of what I’ve read so far. It mostly feels like a story set during the second world war with a light dose of the fantastic, and it’s great! The structure of the book follows various points of view and it really allows for a deep dive into each character’s perspective. It also does something the first Pirates of the Caribbean did well: only lightly explores the coolest character. Like Jack Sparrow (and again, only in the first movie), Dracula is a compliment to the main characters and the fact he isn’t where we spend all our time means his presence is made all the cooler. So far, so good.

Emperor Mollusk Versus The Sinister Brain by A. Lee Martinez (Complete) Writing a hyper-intelligent conqueror as the main character is tricky in that most of the book is a breeze. The plot presents a mystery wrapped in pulpy fun, but it’s not nearly as enjoyable when the lead already solved all the problems outside of the current events. To its credit, the end gets far more interesting and sees the titular mollusk up against dire circumstances, but I’m not sure it made up for the rest of the book for me. Recommended if you want a casual adventure with giant robots and sentient plants and alien worlds, but just know that the plotting and characters stray dangerously close to Ready Player One territory.

Silver Surfer Omnibus by Dan Slott, Michael Allred, Laura Allred, and many many more (Complete) Ugh I loved this so so so much and I think Silver Surfer may be one of my new favourite characters. This run is so optimistic and big yet also deeply personal and driven by love that I just...I really felt so much when it was over. It’s sci-fi used to highlight human stories and I’m just so glad it exists.

……….AUDIO……….

Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf (1977) Maybe it’s because my dad had this album, or maybe it’s just something about Meatloaf’s voice, but the whole thing feels like it captures what it was like being a teenage white boy in the seventies. It also feels like it captures the spirit of live as an AV or drama kid in highschool and that I can’t explain quite as well. It just tells stories of relationships in the biggest and most dramatic fashion possible and it’s fantastic.

Faster Than the Speed of Night by Bonnie Tyler (1983) Researching Meatloaf lead me to Bat out of Hell’s producer, Jim Steinman, and to this album by Bonnie Tyler. It has the big, fill-your-chest, sound and I love a song that features a children’s choir. Right from the first track you know you’re in for something bombastic and it really delivers.

……….GAMING……….

Pandemic (Zman Games) We were gifted this for Christmas and while I’ve seen it on a bunch of “Best Board Games” lists, I really wasn’t prepared for what an adventure it was! The cooperative element is a nice touch and it really does feel like you’re trying to stop an outbreak of infectious diseases. Great for small groups and also I’ve yet to “win” this game.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (Nintendo) This new style on the Switch is so freaking cute! I’m also loving the rather concise game in comparison to Breath of the Wild. Definitely going to try to get 100% but I’m doing the hard mode for my first playthrough so maybe I’m overconfident. Anyway. So cute!!!

Maze of the Blue Medusa (Satyr Press) The group continues to explore but I can see the cracks. Maybe I’m not the best Dungeon Master for a megadungeon or perhaps this group wants more of a narrative-based game; it’s just not quite clicking. I think we’ll be trying something new in 2020.

And that’s it! As always, I’d love to get your recommendos and see you in 2020!

#Monthly Media #Rambles #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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cosmiciaria · 5 years

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In defense of Detroit Become Human (spoilers marked - long post!)

I know I arrived late at the party and everything that could've been said about this game has already been said – but I do want to add some things I haven't found in some reviews I’ve come across, while addressing all the flaws and giving credit where credit is due. And believe it or don't, this game is due a lot of credit. Yes, a game by David Cage is due credit, what has the world come to?

I must admit I'm not the greatest of fans of Cage's works. I can see all the flaws and plot holes in his games/interactive movies, but unlike others, I'm not that bothered by them. Hell, there are plot holes in many good stories and even the greatest games have some flaws, sometimes it feels people like picking one director and hating on them (cof cof, Tabata from Square cof). This doesn't mean Cage is free of sins, since that's far from reality: I still remember the Ellen Page's controversy with her naked model inside the game, and the creepy things they did to Madison in Heavy Rain for no reason whatsoever. Man, I think you should revalue some of your fetishes.

But aside from that, his games are heavily narrated focus, straying too far from the ordinary hero path and 'saving the world with the power of friendship'. He's stated there are so many things we can do in the videogame industry, and that most developers stick to the usual formula, just because they know it works and it profits. And I can understand his point of view, and even support it, that's why I always try to find something good in his games, even when the dialogues are bad and some acting leaves much to be desired – that happens in every game, in every movie, in every series.

Detroit Become Human is, by far, the best work by Cage. I can say so with full confidence: it's the first of his stories whose plot seem cohesive, coherent, whose characters undergo a visible and palpable development throughout the whole game, whose decisions and paths actually cross-impact later chapters and your choices do shape the way the story unfolds. I stress this because, for example in Beyond, your choices didn't matter much – even the QTE's were pretty useless. You just decided how the game would end in the last ten minutes of plot and that was it. Detroit, on the other hand, is so well planned that things you've done in the very first chapter have repercussions later down the line, and it's not like there's just two endings, but a lot of them, and lot of combinations that I'm still discovering. Your choices affect the during of the story, not just the ending. You can have good relationship with someone, or a bad one, and that will affect each scene those characters are in. You can have a good reputation with a group, or they can hate you, and so you will be ejected from the team. You can act irrational, or stay forever a machine, and the last big choice regarding that will depend of your actions across the whole game.

Just the decision making is a huge step up from previous works. And I can only compare this game to Until Dawn, but even in there, there are less decisions and less impact. Detroit is overwhelmingly huge when it comes to different paths and different versions of the same story. So much so that I told a friend who was also playing it about a scene, and she said 'wait, when does that happen? I didn't see it!'. It was as if we were talking about different games.

Detroit is about androids. It's the year 2038 and androids have flooded the market. They're like your usual vacuum but, hey, they can cook, take care of your children and even satisfy you sexually. They are such a common thing to see in the city that people ignore them. Most families have at least one android in their household, becoming completely reliant on their features. This is a future not so far away from our present.

But, lo and behold, because this game will explore the idea of 'freedom'. And, as you could've expected, some androids suddenly realize they don't want to work for humans anymore. Some androids are mistreated by their owners and suddenly they know they're in an unfair situation. Some androids have ambitions, dreams, ideas – some androids have the desire to be free.

And so, they become deviants. An artificial intelligence, capable of billions of simultaneous operations, young forever, and with conscience. Afraid, yet?

We will follow three main characters who happen to be androids: Connor, Markus and Kara. Connor is a prototype designed to assist investigators and police officers with cases, and he comes with many features that will facilitate all the analysis of clues. Markus is an android designed to care for an old man who has lost his mobility, and lives with him and cares for him as if he were his son. Kara is a housemaid android, who specializes in cleaning and taking care of children, but her owner is a drug-addict who forgot what it means to be a father.

Markus and Kara realize their unfair situation pretty early in the game, so they become deviants well at the beginning. Connor, on the other hand… well, it's in your hands to decide his fate.

Their stories will be intertwined: Connor will investigate cases involving deviants, alongside his sidekick – I mean, his partner, Lieutenant Hank Anderson, an old, anti-android human whose past is yet to be revealed; Markus will be falsely accused of aggression towards his owner or his son (depending what you choose), and he will come back from the dead, ready to lead a revolution against humans, demanding androids' rights; Kara will realize she wants to be a mother, and she will save the daughter of her owner from that hellhole they live in, only to travel from one corner of the city to another in search for an escape route. While Connor's and Markus's stories are well entangled, Kara's always felt a bit separated from them, which can be a huge let down. Personally, Kara's story was the one I enjoyed the least, but it has to do with something that happens at the end – that stupid plot twist – besides, it's more than clear in Kara's plotline that all the BS Cage loved from his previous games makes a return in here. Sometimes it felt like he left blender open and all the disastrous ideas he had for her story were spilled all over his kitchen. I can't think of anything else for that, because her plotline is a Frankestein of a story – uneven, irregular, although it has some touching moments, and Valerie Curry, the actress who plays Kara, delivers some guuud acting and lines.

I know the main message this game is trying to send is that androids are equals to humans. This is the most controversial aspect of the game: Cage, whether he says he did purposely or not, has compared the androids' struggle for freedom to that of African-American people, mixing together slavery and segregation. It's funny because Cage stated it wasn't his plan to allude to actual historical events that did happen not so long ago, and still we can see the segregation of androids in public transport, in public places, and the fact that Markus, with a bunch of other androids as well, demand freedom and the end of slavery from the humans. I like it more when he asks for fair compensation for their work.

And I say it's controversial because it's sending a wrong message. Slavery and segregation weren't contemporary, one came after the other; and the fact that they make a clear comparison to that social movement is criticizable. I'm not the most expert on US history – hell I'm from Argentina, guys – but even I know that the bloody history behind the fight for equal rights is far from over and has put the country on the brink of breaking down many times. That someone deliberately compares the android's fight that took only a few months to develop to that monstrous side of US history is, uhm, questionable in the least.

BUT let's just say that it's an awful coincidence (I'm looking at you, Cage) and leave it aside for a moment. That's the main message the game tries to send. But I believe the game actually sends another message, that is better executed, better fleshed out.

Androids and humans can love each other.

[SPOILER scroll down until you see the end of the spoiler section]

This is obvious at the beginning with Markus, if you decide to endure Leo's bullying. Carl, Markus' owner, dies from a heart attack, and Markus, crying, desperate, falls to his knees and embraces the man who's been acting like his father for years. He yells Dad, no! in front of the real son, provoking a reaction in him and in the player. Just in this tiny moment, which I think most people slip by without paying too much attention, is enough message. It explains everything.

If you decide to push Leo, the scene plays out differently, and we learn this message towards the end, still in Markus' branch. Later in the story you go back and visit Carl, who doesn't die, but is instead stuck in his bed, connected to cables and such. He regards Markus with love and tenderness, and holds his hand, saying You're my son, Markus. Your blood is a different color, but I know that a part of me lives in you. Thank you, you made me cry.

This message is also well developed in the friendship you can form with Connor and Hank. And notice the 'you can' because you can also make them hate each other. But why on earth would you make Hank mad, if not only for the trophy? Because I can't bear the idea of disappointing that good old man. I need him to be proud of me – I mean, of Connor! Their relationship is wholesome, with some instances in which Hank calls him his son, which melted my heart obviously. Knowing that Hank had lost his real son prior to the events of the game makes all this even more touching and moving.

This message is not well conveyed with Kara and Alice, and you might guess why – yes, the fact that towards the end we learn that Alice isn't a human but an android too, utterly destroys the whole concept the game has been trying to build up for this moment. I don't know why Cage thought this was a good idea – maybe trying to explain that androids can love each other as family just like humans do, but that kinda breaks the rules here, because the idea was an android discovering they can love thanks to a human, who has all the real feelings whereas the androids have this emulations and… alright you get me. How can we truly know if they love each other for real if they are two androids? How can we make sure it isn't just some emulation and chemicals inside their metal bodies? Alright I'm going too deep here? Maybe?

[END OF SPOILER SECTION]

All in all, this is the message that stays with me after playing the game. I don't know if Cage did it purposely (suddenly all his messages are casual), but this is what I can save and treasure from this story. Oh, and also, save your fucking planet, polar bears are going extinct.

Characters are really well created. Their interactions are believable and natural, the acting (specially Bryan Dechart as Connor and Clancy Brown as Hank) is flawless, and you can appreciate when they become deviant and when they start thinking for themselves. Some lines delivered by Markus felt a bit forced, but I've heard the actor talk and he talks like that so maybe is the way he speaks. There are some secondary characters that became my favorite really quick, like Luther, Kara's companion in this journey; Simon, one of the first members of the revolution Markus meet; Hank, of course, although I deem him as a main character at this point. Others, well… Gavin is your well-known bully, whose lines are so stupid I can't believe his character made it into the game. Like really, he's taken straight out of a 90's high school movie. I could hear Henry Bowers from It laughing at his attempt of being a bad boy.

On the technical department, this game is stunning. Visuals are a delight: sometimes you couldn't differentiate if it was filmed or if it was CGI. Hint: it was all CGI! Faces, expressions, animations, I can't complain of any of those. The character's eyes, which are the only thing the motion capture can't record, were all added digitally, and I'm bound to say that they're perfect: they make each character feel real, alive. You know when you're staring at something, that your eyes regard everything and your pupils have these tiny, micro, slight movements? That was in the game, and I loved it. Clothes get wet when it's raining, they get frozen when it's snowy, and lights reflect every surface so realistically that you can tell the texture of each object and piece of cloth.

Music is also a great asset in this game. Each character had a different composer, which brought a distinct and unique aspect to each of their stories. I know I've been hating on Kara until now, but I must admit her theme song is the best out of everything in this game. Even when I watched the cutscenes back when the game was released, I had her theme buried under my skin, for it's melancholic, it reminds me of rain, and it makes me wanna cry.

Another aspect I want to address is the gameplay. You know Cage loves his daily doses of QTE's. But this time, though, they're well executed. I recommend playing the game in Experienced difficulty (which is the normal difficulty), because it truly offers a more immersive experience. The use of the controller in all this was clever, and they used everything they had at their disposal to make you feel you're there in the story. For instance, the use of the vibration system of your joystick: when you pet the dog at Hank's house, you can feel a very slight vibration in your hands, as if the dog was breathing, what you would feel when you pet a dog, of course; but when you're driving a truck that leaves the sidewalk and falls into the street, you feel the sudden rough movement and the way the engine is speeding up; or you can feel heartbeats when Markus is trying to repair himself. All these instances of breaking the fourth wall to make you feel part of the story are implemented in such an intelligent way that it works wonders.

And speaking about breaking the fourth wall… In your main menu you'll have an android that will be your hostess. She will comment on the discoveries you'll be finding in your storyline, but she will also play some tricks to you or talk to you all of a sudden. And if you reach the good ending… well, there's a surprise with her. Let's just say that she's a great addition to the game and a fan favorite.

In conclusion, this is by far Cage's most polished and well thought game to date. And I've been hiding my obsession with Connor up until now so you wouldn't think I'm crazy but, I can't believe Cage created a character like this. I love him. Protect this sweet summer child. Don't make him a machine, please :'( Connor Army here I go.

If you have doubts about this game, buy it on sale. You will at least have a good time playing it and discovering the different paths. But if you like heavily narrated games, and you have at least enjoyed some of his previous works, don't miss on this one. It's really better. And it's really more worth it.

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constantlyirksome · 5 years

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Review: Euphoria’s First Season Finale was Aesthetically Stunning but Narratively Clunky.

Going into the Euphoria season one finale we had a lot of questions: Would Fezco get arrested? Would Maddy and Nate get back together, or would he finally get what was coming to him? Would #Rules make it? Unfortunately, due to the episode's reliance on non-linear storytelling, we left with more questions than answers.

The Halloween episode used a similar narrative structure, the party was the centre of it and all the other scenes were flashbacks, in the end coming together in a satisfying way. Unfortunately, it didn’t work well at all this episode, while the core of the episode is the school dance (a classic hotbed for teenage drama) it’s not clear when all the other scenes occurred in relation to it, end it ended on multiple cliff-hangers.

Let’s talk about Nate and Maddy first. I have praised Jacob Elordi in the past because getting people to like a character is one thing, but to create and act out a character as loathsome as Nate takes talent. His key scenes with his father, Rue, and Maddy all had an incredible intensity and heat, he’s so convincing as a brute you wish that Rue’s fantasy, lighting Nate on fire and shooting him, was real.

He continues a lot of his patterns; first, he bullies Rue in a tense faceoff. Elordi and Zendaya have incredible rival chemistry, and as Nate sowed the seeds of doubt for Rue and Jule’s relationship, Rue threatened to burn his whole family down. He abused Maddy verbally and physically. The question of his and his father's sexuality popped up and honestly, that’s a thread I’m a little tired of. Internalized homophobia on that level, if they are gay, isn’t something I as a gay man care to watch.

Nate singlehandedly wins a football match but his father still berates him for not doing enough as a captain. Nate does what he does best, gets in his dads face, but his dad doesn’t back down and when they get into an uncomfortable physical confrontation where Nate is overpowered and breaks down completely. Like a child in a supermarket, he cries and thrashes and then begins hurting himself in his rage. This is a man who has gone through some serious emotional abuse, repression coupled with a genetic inflated ego, arrogance and violent misogyny. He was bound to explode, and he does so in such huge way I just have to applaud Elordi again. But the question is, was the tantrum before or after the dance?

Maddy did a lot of growing after being covered in the human manure that is Nate and decides she’s had enough.

“You’re abusive, psychopathic, and I hate the way you make me feel…” she says as they slow dance. I love Maddy, and this is an aspiring thing to see, a girl in the grips of an abusive relationship, who until now knew how sick it was but couldn’t leave, make the decision to cut it off. And props to her for trying to assure Nate that It’s Okay to Be Gay and that sexuality is a spectrum while he was screaming in her face. What an icon.

Cassey deals with her decision to terminate her pregnancy, weirdly McKay isn’t in the episode at all. At the dance, she says she never wants to fall in love again (honestly what a mood,) meaning they split up after she had her abortion, meaning either he is as shitty as every other man on the show or the show just didn’t know what to do with him. During her procedure she tunes out and listens to music, imagining herself ice-skating instead. It’s a beautifully shot moment, her on a blacked-out ice rink, completely alone, no McKay cheering her on. She does have her sister though, and at the scenes, for the dance they sit and laugh at other people which is always fun.

Kat got probably the only “happy” end to her story arc, finding Ethan on the dance floor, she realizes she can be the bad ass, confident, empowered woman she wants to be without being cruel, or shutting herself off emotionally. She finds a good middle ground and it’s very sweet to see her open up after so many episodes of her being so stoic.

Ethan delivers possibly the most romantic speech ever: “This is high school, will we last forever? Probably not. Someone will probably get hurt, but I’ll do my best to make sure that person is me.” What a cutie! Mazel Tov to the happy couple.

Fezco and Ashtray (just learned that’s what the little kid's name is) don’t get arrested, but he is still in trouble with drug dealer Mouse, whom he owns money to. His solution is to put on a ski mask and rob some guy, I’m unsure if this man is narratively relevant, or if he’s just rich. He’s got stacks of cash and prescription pills in a drawer so Fez gets lucky either way. When the guy pulls a gun, Fez proves how hard he really is, that Nate should be worried, and beats the guy in front of his kid. Fez has been toted as the best man on the show and it’s sad to say after that scene he probably still is. There’s something so likable about Fez and Angus Cloud that has you blaming the guy getting robbed for trying to be brave instead of blaming Fez for robbing him. Audiences perceptions around men these days are so warped, and standards are so low that characters like Fezco, who seems genuinely okay deep down, become the ones we’re drawn to. It’s weird, but I’m guilty of it too, because while he gives Mouse the money, Mouse spots blood on the bills and grabs his gun, leading the question, “does Fez get shot?” and I hoped to god he didn’t.

Finally our heroes Rue and Jules. Jules does Rue’s eye makeup, in a very similar way to how Anna did hers the last episode, and sings Anna’s praises, casually letting slip that she did sleep with the other girl. Later that night at the dance Rue finds her taking selfies and sending them to Anna. While Rue and Jules aren’t in a relationship, while Jules isn’t Rue's keeper, her sponsor, or her girlfriend it still came off kind of dickish. Jules deserves to be as free as she wants but she has never been good at communicating. She tells Rue that she loves her, and she wants to kiss her, (they do, it’s very steamy), and that she doesn’t want Rue to change… But when a sloppily planned escape to the city between the two of them falls through, Jules ends up leaving Rue behind, going back to Anna essentially.

Rue and Jules were connected and were in a lot of ways perfect for each other, outsiders with the same sick views of the world, but in so many ways they weren’t right for one another, between Rue's addiction/sobriety and Jule’s lifestyle there were few ways were you could see it working out but it was still sad to see, and the way it happened didn’t make a terrible amount of sense. Jules escapes with Rue, but ditches her even though it was Rue’s plan? And the worst part is that that’s what Nate predicted would happen when he was fighting with Rue.

We end on a mishmash of scenes with Rue, Jules and her family, good flashbacks, and a flashback to a fight with her mother that was so bad Rue was kicked out of home, but when did this all happen? One flashback clues us onto the fact that Rue’s red sweatshirt was actually her dads, but other than that the scenes are confusing. Back in the present Rue puts on her dad's hoodie and snorts a line of something, officially falling off the wagon. The question, made less clear after the coming scenes, is did she die? Many people believe she’s only able to know everyone’s business every episode because she dies.

Then, bizarrely it turns into a music video of sorts, if not a trippy one. You think Rue is revisiting more memories as she stumbles in a drug-induced state (Zendaya’s physicality here was fantastic) as her family ignores her, but then her dad is there, and then suddenly she’s in a sea of dancers and she’s (Zendaya) singing Labrinth's All For Us. (I already have it saved on Spotify talk about a BOP.)

It’s beautifully shot, choreographed and performed. The whole episode was beautiful, from the girls dance outfits, to the makeup, Cassey’s skate scene, and then the end dance. But it speaks to one of the biggest issues I have with Euphoria, which is if you take away the cinematography, great acting, the costuming and the killer soundtrack, Euphoria is narratively up and down. This episode was confusing, highlighted by the absurd ending. With season two confirmed more focus needs to go into planning for the future and making sure everything lines up. Speculation is Rue might be dead, or near dead but she only did one line of something so I think she’s fine, but alive or not the finale might have been so much more satisfying if things were a tiny bit clearer.

#euphoria #euphoria hbo #zendaya coleman #rue bennett #hunter schafer #jules vaughn

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osakawise · 5 years

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OSAKAWISE002 TALK CONTENTS IN ENGLISH

Translators:Fu Kawashima and Tomoka Moli

Editor:Kota Tensaka

-8:40 Kota(K): Goon evening, for OSAKAWISE series two, I will be delivering from NOON+CAFE in Osaka, whilst welcoming a guest tonight. We actually met around 15 years ago when I first started going to clubs, as well working together here at NOON to organise parties, an artists that I admire; I have invited Taichi aka RHy-s. Taichi (T): Good evening K: Today, I’d like to interview Taichi regarding his performances of course, but also about his music production and recent activities. Oh and, Taichi, you’re the manager of NOON, correct? T: At the moment, although NOON is a nightclub in the night time, but there’s been efforts to open this place as a CAFE during the day. I manage the space in the evenings; when it turns into a nightclub, bookings for live events and managing the bar area. So yeah, you could say I’m the manager for the night time. K: I see. I’m guessing you’re interacting and meeting with a lot of local artists, as well as contributing to parties with variety of genres, so it’d be great if I could ask you about the Osaka music scene later on. For now, if you could explain briefly the equipment you’re going to use for LIVE show tonight, but I notice you don’t have your laptop with you? T: I went through a period of using a laptop, but I found that it was troublesome; in that there were probability that the songs would stop playing all of a sudden, I feel like the risks are too high to be using it for LIVE performances. Since it’ll be the end if the PC breaks down. Other than that, I mainly use two Electribe from KORG; the SX and MX. It’s three generation prior to the newest versions with vacuum tubes. I use SX as a main to create beats and put filters on the drums. With MX, I hardly hit the drums, but instead, I use the feature which allows you to produce 5 different synths to create that bass and upper sounds. I do use some sampler sounds from the SX, for example putting in speeches from films. Oh and, sampler using ROLAND SP-404; I don’t use the pre-recorded samples, but I record upper sounds without beats at home, then incorporate it in here and I use that a lot. K: Do you also record environmental sounds? T: oh yeah yeah, I remember last year when a massive typhoon hit OSAKA, I recorded downstairs at my apartment, and it had that `the end of the world` kind of sounds that I use a lot when playing LIVE. Lets give it a listen. -00:15:00

T: Sounds mad doesn’t it? haha Cranes nearby was swaying and made a melodic sound... I took my iPhone outside to record it... So yeah, I use SP-404 for things like this. Also I bought the ROLAND SPACE ECHO RE-20 recently, and I use it a lot; its pretty good for how it decays the songs, and by using it, I feel like it puts together the sound nicely. K: I see. Just started career using TAICH as his artist name for DJing, today I would like him to perform live as RHy-s. Later on, I would like to share with you facts and information on his music career, as well as party information in OSAKA. To all you listeners, you can download the Mixlr app and subscribe for an account, which will allow you to interact with us through the chat. If you have any questions to RHy-s, or comments, anything is welcome for us to make it a topic for today’s show. Before we move on to the LIVE, is there anything you would like to say to the listeners? T: Today I resembling the vibe from a normal LIVE set. I wouldn’t know how todays set would sound for you via internet, since I’ve only done it at home and at the nightclubs, but I hope you all will enjoy my LIVE set. K: I’m looking forward to this one! Let’s go!

-1:00:17 K: OSAKAWISE series two, delivering from here, NOON with guest RHy-s. Wow, that was phenomenal! T: Was I too keen? haha K: You just played for around 40 minutes, is this how long you’d usually play？ T: LIVE sets require focus so I usually only as for around 30 minutes. The longest was 90 minutes, but it gave me time to think haha K: For real! When I watch the set right in front of you, you’re always moving your hands and I do think it requires skills; but speaking of tunes, if you played them like in the first half, I reckon you could reach 2 hours?

Yeah I could do it, if the concept of the LIVE show was like you said, more like techno,dancey sounds. When I play for longer though, I’d have to assemble tunes to some extent, so I feel like the improvisation vibes will be diminished.

Yeah, since you’re playing in real time.

Fundamentally, There’s the sequences I already made, and use them to take it in and out or change them. Or even remake them.

Are you committed to the style of LIVE shows?

For sure!

At first, I wanted to make tunes that I’m 100% satisfied with, a tune where I know its good whenever I listened back to it, for my own sake.

But from then, I changed my views when I was performing live in front of crowd and organizing parties like DEPTH at NOON.It really influenced me through the party style and LIVE sets.

At that time,in heads and IDM locality, There were artists who made completed sick tunes that were played on the LIVE set performances. I also saw a lot of LIVE sets of artists abroad, but even if it was one of my favorite artist, how it just finished with just performing already composed tune on their laptops didn't feel right; I almost felt disappointed that I watched their live performances haha

LIVE sets really is all about experience. It’s important for audience to enjoy the good music, but there has to be that element of impact of stimulation on the audience.

By the way, the LIVE set that left the most impression for me is Ceephax Acid Crew.

It was like listening to a hard core band’s live. I would always want to see his LIVE sets.

I personally like how your LIVE set has that element of nervousness. There’s always that risk of making mistake, but there’s things that can only happen and be experienced in that space and time.

Hmm, its in that moment you know, that's why I wouldn’t want it to be recorded sometimes. But I think it would be interesting for those listening to the live set.

I think I can create the atmosphere of a sense of live to a certain extent.

The reason I started to produce dance track was when custom law of ‘dancing is prohibited’ was set. So I opposed by just creating dance tracks haha

Till then I was only focused on music that can blow minds.

So yeah, then that influenced the counter movement of dancing at bars, not just dance floor of clubs; left an impression not just on the environment but the production side too.

So I see, music production is influenced and inspiration are born from the environment too then.

A bit like the emotions trigger the production of tunes…

This is just my personal impression, but Taichi you’re usually sociable person, I just don't hear that side of your character in the music. I sense more darkness, anger and sadness.

When I’m working at NOON, from the external perspective, I feel like I have to be that person with responsibilities, and I am like that. But when its music related, I feel like I can do anything and its liberating; I can deliver a message about my thoughts and what I like through music.

How is your music production recently?

Not really sampling, but I have been using 1 bar patterns a lot recently.

I don't build up on that really.

Tunes I’ve produced before are all because there were deadlines for releases and what not, then there’s that sense of “I have to”, so then I finally finish making a tune.

When I have bookings, I always want to try out something new, so that gives me a reason to produce tunes.

Otherwise, when I feel real anger and sadness that can’t be expressed, I don't feel like producing tunes when I’m having a good time.

I can also escape reality for a bit when I’m producing music.

There seems to be some similarity with art and sports; allowing yourself to release them strong emotions through activity and feel refreshed after you know.

I know you buy quite a lot of vinyls; do you get influences and inspiration from other artists?

I see you dancing at other clubs and I know you go to other places other than NOON.

While on the job, there’s been times where I go out and have fun, I touch upon music that aren’t related to genres, but when I feel like producing tunes is when I’m listening to shit music haha

Isn’t that also anger though? Haha

You’re not wrong, anger does drive me to produce music. That's why I end up producing dark and scary music haha

When its from feeling happy, I use SP-404 to make a story-like snippets and save them like a diary, then I add on beats to that.

Not just dark stuff.

I see.

I heard that you were on the news years ago for someone reporting you for lost in the mountains, so does you’re hobby of mountain climbing influence your music production?

Actually yeah! It does! When I went mountain climbing in Canada. I’m gonna listen to it before the last half of the LIVE!

Known to only those who know, but it's a song I produced after I climbed a mountain with a DJ called Return Trip in Canada.

-01:18:35

-01:20:30

So it goes like that.

I don't remember it clearly, but Takaaai, a legendary member from the DEPTH was there, and I think I borrowed his NODE LEAD to make the tune.

The sounds of footsteps, rain and lightning while mountain climbing is incorporated into the tune too.

That time too, I was climbing without any plans, I challenged snowy paths and was faced with serious situations; really made me think how small human were and the greatness of nature.

It was that time, that feeling of soul beating by the nature which made it into this song,haha.

The song was a great acclaim by Return Trip too, I wonder how he’s doing…

Ahh Return Trip, feels sentimental.

So Taichi, you’re also organizing new parties as well as DJing, right?

Now, I’ve been doing parties called “moltal”, here at NOON, on a Thursday, once a month on a weekday.

There’s a hall with a decent sound system, but the party is based around the bar area with simply a DJ booth.

The concept is to have fun freely, not all about listening to the DJ or geeked out by the music.

Musically, we don’t really care too much about the genres either.

You’re close to the DJ booth anyway.

About the combination of yourself and guest artists, what kind of artists do you welcome?

Usually, those I see a lot at the club and get along well with.

There’s others that are willing to play and happily accept my offer.

I’m not all about the technique or the genre, but if their attitude and mindset are similar to mine, and can have fun with, then anyone is welcome.

Osaka scene is narrow, and even though you know their name and their face, there’s not much contact. Sounds fun if the party is open to whoever then you know.

When I started to go to clubs and parties ten years ago, there was an impression that genres didn't really matter; parties were put together by booking artists that varied in genres.

I wonder when that concept started to disappear…

Any thoughts on the Osaka clubbing scene now?

There are parts that I do like and don't like, but I’d like to make as many connection as possible. Without putting limitation on the genres to have fun.

You are hosting the other event that is held irregularly?

Yeah, “ECMN” short for ECM Night, which derived from a German Jazz label ECM established by Manfred Eicher; I was really into the ECM sounds, but realilsed that many people actually know the label ECM when I spoke to them about it.

Their artwork is unique, and the music has a vibe that can really be called ECM sound, really good.

Then, I was bored of listening to dance music, so MITSUKI, COTA, TSUTOMU and I started an event so we can listen to ECM in decent environment.

At the same time, I was watching a film at home while playing ECM music.When I switch tracks like DJing,it was like making soundtrack for films but ECM sound.It was quite fun, so we decided to do this at the club, I think haha

We just hung a screen on the stage and projected films, the DJs produced soundtracks in real time behind the screen, can even control the sound of the film; that was the format.

The floor had sofas haha

This year marks the 50th anniversary, so we should definitely do an EMC Night!

For sure!

It almost time for the second half of the LIVE. However the online chat has been faulty today, and I have contacted the UK mixlr office, the chat should be up and running by tomorrow so I will be replying then.

RHy-s is gonna do second live set for the next 20 minutes, then we will be delivering you some information on parties in Osaka as usual.

Please Taichi-kun(RHy-s), take the stage!

-01:31:05

-01:54:35

Love that; really enjoyed listening to that, haven’t felt this way since maybe February when I listened at Mole music. Taichi-kun, the atmosphere of your sound doesn't blur, but you can really play a lot of different sets.

Organisers and promoters should check him out.

Thank you very much. I would love to play in different situation to be honest.

Now, I’d like to deliver some party information for this week.

Umm, although we have just started, organisers of parties and events especially, if you could DM us your party information on OSAKAWISE Instagram, or directly through email. I reckon there’s more people out there doing fun things. Please don’t hesitate!

9/6(Fri)TUFF DISCO feat.LUCRETIO from The Analogue Cops at daphnia 9/7(Sat)2×4 at CLUB STOMP 9/8(Sun)HIGH TIDE at 和歌山Bagus 9/12(Thu)moltal feat. YAMADA the GIANT & MITSUKI at NOON 9/16(Mon/before holiday)Happy Monday feat.Prins Thomas at CIRCUS

So yes, many parties to come this week! I would love for you all to go out and listen to the music at the sites and have fun!

Next week OSAKAWISE on Wednesday 9/18, we will be inviting DJ AKIHIRO as our guest.

Taichi-kun, thank you very much for today. Even offering up NOON as the streaming station for our program today.

No problem, I also had fun!

To those who came on site to listen to his LIVE, and those listening over the radio, thank you all very much for your patience.

I hope you look forward to the next LIVE on 9/18! And for now, good night!

【日本語版】

-8:40 Kota(K): こんばんは、OSAKAWISE第2回、本日はゲストを迎えて大阪のNOON+CAFEからお送りします。私がクラブで遊び始めた15年ほど前に出会い、ここNOONで共に働き、パーティーを共にオーガナイズしてきた、尊敬するアーティスト、RHy-sこと太一君をお呼びしています。 Taichi(T): こんばんは K: 今日は太一君のライブパフォーマンスは勿論、音楽制作や活動内容について聞いていきたいと思っています。あと、太一君は今NOONの店長なんやっけ？ T: NOONは現在、夜のCLUB以外にCAFEの営業にも力を入れていて、僕は夜のCLUBやライブイベントのブッキングやーバー周りを管理したりして、まー夜の店長という立場です。 K: なるほど。たくさんのローカルアーティストに出会ったり、幅広いジャンルのパーティーに関わっていると思うので、大阪のシーンについても後ほど話てもらえればと思います。じゃあとりあえず、今日のLIVEで使う機材のセッティングについて簡単に説明してもらえればと思いますが、今日はラップトップないね？ T: 一時期は使ってた時もあるけど、ラップトップはトラブルで音が止まっちゃう可能性があってLiveメインで活動する身としてはリスクが高い、PCが止まっちゃうと終わってしまうので。。他はメインにKORGのElectribe2台、SXとMXを使っています。これは真空管の入ってる最新のから三世代くらい前のやつ。 SXでメインのビートを作ってドラムにフィルターをかけたりして、 MXではビートをほとんど打たず、代わりにシンセが５本出せる特徴を使って上音やベースを出してます。 SXのサンプラーも少しだけ使ってる。映画のセリフとか入れたりして。あとはROLAND SP-404のサンプラー。打ち込みには使わず、これは家で録ったビートの無い展開のある上音なんかをここに入れてたくさん入れてます。 K: 環境音とか録ったりしない？ T: あーそうそう、去年大阪にすごい大きな台風がきた時に自宅マンションの下で録ったこの世の終わりみたいな音があるんやけど、これはマジで頻繁にライブで使ってるね。聞いてみましょうか。 -00:15:00 T: やばくない？笑この近所のクレーンが揺れてるとこからなってるメロディーみたいなんが。。。 i-phone持って外出て録ったね。。まーSP-404はそんな使い方で、あとは最近買ったROLAND SPACE ECHO RE-20、これも結構使ってて音の減衰の仕方がいい感じ。あとこれを使うと音がまとまったように感じる。 K: なるほど。 TAICH名義でDJとしても活動を始めた太一君、今日はRHy-sとして今からやっていただこうと思います。後ほど活動内容や、大阪のパーティー情報なんかも共有していきたいと思います。聞いていただいてる皆さん、Mixlrのアプリをインストールしてアカウント登録していただければ、チャットに参加できます。RHy-sへの質問でもなんでもいいんで、コメント入れていただければ後ほどのトークのネタにさせていただきたいと思います。なんかライブ前にリスナーに伝えたいことありますか？ T: 今日は普段のライブセットに近い感じでやります。家やクラブ以外の環境で聞くとどんな風に聞こえるのかわかりませんが、各々楽しんでいただければと思います。 K: じゃあいきましょーか！よろしくお願いします！ -1:00:17 K: OSAKAWISE第2回、RHy-sを迎えてNOONからお送りしています。いやー素晴らしい！ T: ちょっと飛ばしすぎたかな？笑 K: 40分くらいやったけど、いつもこれくらい？ T: 集中力いるんで大体いつもは30分でお願いしてます。最長で90分ってのがあったけど、途中で考える間を作る時間があったり笑 K: そーなんや！目の前で見てるとほんとずっと手動かしてるから実際は大変やと思うけど、曲調とかで言えば前半の感じでゆっくりはめたりしたら2時間とかいけそうやけど？ T: まーそういう感じのコンセプトでやりませんかって話があれば出来なくも無いけど。長時間やるとなるとある程度組んでやる必要があるので、インプロ感はちょっとなくなるかな。 K: リアルタイムで打ってるからね。 T: まー基本的なのは作ってるのもあってそれの抜き差し、打ち替えとかもあるけどね。弾き直したりとか。 K: このライブスタイルに対するこだわりやっぱり強い？ T: あるね！最初期は自分が100%納得のいく完成された曲を作りたいと思ってて、いつ聞いてもいい曲だと自分で思える、自分のための。そっからNOONでオーガナイズしてたDEPTHってパーティーの影響やライブで人前でやるってのもあって変わっていった。当時はヘッズやIDM界隈でラップトップで完成された超かっこいい曲を披露するライブパフォーマンスが多くて、 NOONで働いてたこともあって海外のアーティストのライブもたくさん見たけど、好きなアーティストでもラップトップで最高の曲を披露して終わりっていう、、どーも上がり切らないというか。ライブ見るんじゃなかった、、って残念な気持ちになって笑ライブはやっぱり体感型でないといけないと思ったね。いい音楽を聴かせることも大切だけど、ライブにはもっと刺激的な要素が必要だと。配信してる今も現場で聞くのと、家で聞くのとでは環境が違うだけで変わってくるし。因みに印象に残ってるライブはCeephax Acid Crewのライブ。曲のどこがかっこいいということじゃなくて、ハードコアバンドのライブ聞いてるみたいやった。彼のライブは毎回見たいと思う。 K: 僕は太一君のライブは緊張感がある好き。ミスる可能性も常もあるけどその場でしか出せない展開や感覚があるとこ。 T: うーん、まーその場の思いつきやから記録とかに残っては欲しくはないけど笑　ライブとしては聞いてる人は面白いかなって思う。現場の空気感を出せてるかなっと。あとダンストラックを作るきっかけになったのは風営法によって"踊ってはいけない"ってことになったことが大きい。じゃあ踊れる曲しか作りませんっという方向になった笑　それまではぶっ飛べる音楽しか意識していなかったけど。。そーそれで当時はその影響でクラブのフロアじゃなくてバーとか、今まで踊る場所じゃなかったとこで踊って遊ぶカウンター的な動きや環境も制作面での刺激になったね。 K: 楽曲制作には周りの環境なんかもインスピレーションになってるというわけですね。感情が制作活動を掻き立てるという、、個人的な印象だけど、太一君は普段すごく社交的だけど音楽はそんな感じには聞こえにくい。暗黒の闇と怒り、悲しみって感じ。 T: NOONで働いてる時なんかは対外的には立場上ちゃんとしないといけないという気持ちもあるし、そんな感じだけど、音楽に関しては何をやっても許されるし解放される、自分の好きなことや思いを音楽を通して伝えることもできるんじゃないかと。 K: 最近の音楽制作はどうですか？ T: サンプルというか1��節のパターンはめちゃくちゃ作ってる。それを曲に組み立てることはあまりやってない。これまで出来た曲は、リリースの話や締め切りなんかがあって、そーゆーのがあるとなんとしてでもという気持ちになってなんとか作り上げるって感じ。ブッキングが決まった時なんかは新しいことやりたくなるので、曲作りのきっかけになったり。他はやっぱり自分の怒りや悲しみなんかの感情の起伏が大きい時、楽しい時はあんまりそういう気にならない。音楽制作を通して現実逃避になってることはあると思う。アートやスポーツも似たようなとこあるかもしれないけど、そういう感情を行動で吐き出してスッキリするっていう。 K: レコードも結構買ってるみたいだけど、他のアーティストから影響を受けたり、触発されるみたいなことはあんまりない？太一君はいろんなとこ行って、他のクラブでも踊ってるとこよく見るけど笑 T: 仕事上いろんなとこで遊ぶ機会があって、ジャンル関係なくいろんな音楽に触れるけど、曲を作りたいって気持ちになる時はめちゃダサい音楽聴いてる時だけ笑 K: それも怒りからなんじゃ笑 T: 怒りが制作の原動力となってることは間違いない。だからこんな怖い曲になる笑楽しさきっかけでは、SP-404にネタ的なのを日記みたいにバンバン保存していってて、そこにビート乗っけたり。ダークなだけではないのよ。 K: なるほど。昔遭難届け出されてニュースに出たって聞いたけど笑、趣味の山登りも制作に関わってくることもある？ T: あっ！ある！カナダに山登りいった時の。ちょっと後半のライブの前に一回これ聴いてみよ！これは知る人ぞ知るReturnTripというDJと昔カナダで登山して帰って来た時に作った曲です。 -01:18:35 -01:20:30 T: こんな感じです。これははっきり覚えてないけど、TakaaakiっていうDEPTH伝説のメンバーがいて、多分彼にNODE LEADを借りて、それを使って弾いたと思う。登山途中の足音とか、雷とか雨降ってたのでその音とかも入ってます。その時も相変わらず無計画で登っていて、スニーカーで雪山に挑んだりして大変な目に遭って、自然の偉大さ人間の小ささを体感しましたね。その時の自然にぶちのめされた感覚を曲にした感じですね笑　ReturnTripにも大絶賛していただいて。元気にしてるかな笑 K: ReturnTrip氏懐かしいね。んでTaich君は今DJもしてて新しいパーティーもやってるよね？ T: 今ここNOONで月一平日の木曜日に、"moltal”というパーティーをやってて。 NOONはしっかりしたサウンドシステムのあるホールがあるけど、あえてバー周りで簡易ブースを置いてやってます。これは音にハマったり、DJを聴かせるというかは気軽に遊ぶ感じをテーマにやってます。音楽的にもジャンルとかあまり硬いことは考えずやってます。 K: DJとの距離も近いしね。 Taich君とゲストって感じの組み合わせだけど、どんなアーティスト呼んでるの？ T: 基本的にクラブでよく見かける人や気が合う人。あとはやらしてほしいっていってくる人も喜んで受け入れてる。技術やジャンルというより姿勢やマインドが合って、一緒に遊べる人だったら誰でも。 K: 大阪は狭いシーンで顔や名前知っててもあまり接点ないってのもあるからそーいうオープンなパーティーもいいですね。 T: 僕がパーティーなんかで遊び始めた十数年前は結構ジャンル関係なく混ってる印象があって、ジャンルが異なるアーティストがブッキングされていながらもまとまっていたり。あれはいつからなくなっていったんやろか？ K: 今の大阪のクラブシーンについて思うことある？ T: 自分も好きなものとそうじゃないものとがあるけど、それでもいろんなところで繋がりを作っていけたらなっと�� 音楽ジャンルで遊ぶ幅を制限せずに。 K: もう一個不定期のパーティーやってましたよね。 T: “ECMN”、ECM Nightってい言うのをやってて、ECMってのはドイツのManfred Eicherって言う人のJAZZレーベルで、個人的にツボに入ってめちゃくちゃ好きになったんですが、周りにいる人に話したら意外とECMの名前を知ってる人は多かった。アートワークが独特で、音楽もECMサウンドと呼べる雰囲気もあって最高。んで当時ダンスミュージックに飽きていたこともあって、俺、MITSUKI,COTA,TSUTOMUでECMを聞くイベントを始めた。同じタイミングで、家で映画なんかの映像を流しながら音はDJの音みたいにして遊んでて、これをクラブでやろうと言うことになった、多分笑家遊びやね笑ステージに幕はってプロジェクターで映像を映して、幕の裏でDJがサントラをリアルタイムで作り、映画の音声もコントロールできるって言う形式。フロアにはソファ笑今年はECM創設50周年なんで絶対やろ！ K: やろやろ！じゃあーそろそろ後半のライブをやってもらおうと思いますが、実は今日チャットが使えなくなってて、今UKのmixlrオフィスに問い合わせたんで、明日には返事が来て次回からは復旧するかと。このあと20分くらいライブやってもらって、いつも通り今週のパーティーの告知をされていただきたいと思います。それでは太一君よろしく！ -01:31:05 -01:54:35 K: いいねー！久しぶりにじっくり聴かせてもらいました。今年2月のmole music以来かな。太一君はサウンドの空気感はブレないけどいろんなセットできるね。オーガナイザー、プロモーターはチェックしてみて下さい。 T: ありがとうございます。そうやね、もっといろんなシチュエーションでやってみたいね。 K: それではここで今週のパーティー情報をお知らせします。えっと、まだ始まったばっかりってこともあるけど、パーティーやイベントの主催者には是非、各々のパーティー情報をOSAKAWISEのインスタからメッセージもしくは直接メールで送っていただければと思っています。ここで紹介するパーティー以外にも僕が知らないだけで面白いことやってる人たちはたくさんいると思うんで。よろしくお願いします！ 9/6(金)TUFF DISCO feat.LUCRETIO from The Analogue Cops at daphnia 9/7(土)2×4 at CLUB STOMP 9/8(日)HIGH TIDE at 和歌山Bagus 9/12(木)moltal feat. YAMADA the GIANT&MITSUKI at NOON 9/16(月)Happy Monday feat.Prins Thomas at CIRCUS と言う感じで今週もパーティーは盛り沢山！できる限りみんなには遊びに出て、現場で音楽を楽しんでもらいたいと思います！そして次回のOSAKAWISEは9/18水曜日、DJ AKIHIRO氏を招いてお送りいたします。今日は太一君ありがとうございました。NOONという場所まで提供していただいて。 T: こちらこそ！楽しかったです！ K: 配信現場まで聞きに来ていただいた方、長くお付き合いくれたリスナーの皆さん、ありがとうございました。次回は9/18！お楽しみに〜　おやすみー！

#osakawise #rhy-s

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cat-at-dawn · 6 years

Text

IN DEFENSE OF THE DEATH OF ████████ , AND AN ARGUMENT AGAINST SUICIDE

This one’s for the manga readers! Post-volume 19 meta, spoilers aplenty! read at your own risk

Though the literal iteration of the death of Ash Lynx can be viewed as a purposeful shuffle from this mortal coil, a specific decision made with weight to return to the New york Public Library to live out his last moments dwelling on Eiji’s letter only to intentionally fade away, here stands a lonely argument; out of the entire cast, no one person deserves death in the same capacity more than Ash Lynx does, and his death is not a suicide. Let’s break it down.

Out of all of the MANY problematic elements of Banana Fish, not even trying to hazard which offense is worse than the next, we can all simultaneously agree that one of the most heartbreaking twists of the series comes at the end of volume 19, when after receiving Eiji’s goodbye letter, which essentially amounts to an incredibly pure love declaration, Ash allows himself to be mentally distracted long enough for Sing’s brother Lao to deliver a killing stab to his intestines. Though Lao dies shortly after Ash’s retaliation, Ash continues to linger in a liminal place. The question hangs in the mind of the reader, if Ash approached a happy ending, why would he not seek hospitalization? Why would he allow himself to bleed out? The manga strikes back hard at the reader with a quite prolonged death sequence, in which Ash retreats to his favorite place to be alone, the New York Public Library, where, with a smile on his face, he falls into a peaceful sleep and dies at a reading table while clutching Eiji’s now bloody love letter. What is the nature of his mindset which dictates this course of action? Why, with Eiji hale and hearty, would Ash choose death instead of medical treatment and a possibly much happier ending to this tale of woe? At this point, I can only wonder if we, the readership, have read the same story. The ending of Banana Fish is hotly debated, and even though as a queer storyteller myself I fundamentally have trouble with gay death as a narrative element, I can’t help but question why people can’t empathize more with Ash’s decision. When judging the manga as a standing piece, I can’t think of a more satisfying, or simply more correct turn of events.

Directly out of the gate, Ash’s death is foreshadowed in the title of the series. A Perfect Day For Banana Fish is a short story by J.D. Salinger which follows the last day in the life of mentally ill World War 2 veteran Seymour Glass, who befriends a little girl while on vacation at the beach. He invites her to catch bananafish with him, and explains that the greedy fish enter holes to gorge themselves on bananas, but become too large to escape again and instead perish in the hole. Later, Seymour returns to his room where his wife is sleeping, and he kills himself. Salinger relates this as a metaphor for his own personal experience in the war, specifically to his time at the Battle of the Bulge and in Nazi concentration camps. He is quoted saying Seymour is an iteration of himself, and has gone so far as to say that he “found it impossible to fit into a society that ignored the truth that he now knew.” The point of the story has always been to examine the irreversible damage done to the human psyche by war. The Perfect Day referenced in the title is exactly that; the quest of a broken man lacking the power to overcome his trauma to find exactly the perfect day to die. So it also is with Ash, we understand from the very beginning that making this direct analogy to Salinger means the manga will be the slow disclosure of someone who is irrevocably damaged by their circumstance as they come to terms with the moment of their own death. From the very first panel you see him, Ash’s death is already fated, and truly the most heart-rending struggle of the series is watching him grapple with this identity, up to nearly the very last second. As a reader, we continuously keep hoping and praying that he might, against all odds, find salvation despite literally every piece of contrary evidence suggesting otherwise. We have violent affection for Ash as a hero, and we want him so badly to live on, to make it to the other side. He both finds salvation and doesn’t find it, because like everything else about this manga, Ash operates thematically on contradictory levels all the way through the story and on to the bitter end. Let’s break it down even further, by considering exactly just how fucked Ash really is.

Ash is born Aslan Jade Callenrese, and then quickly discarded. He briefly experiences a short period of normalcy with the love of his brother and distant father before Griffin is drafted. Almost immediately after, Ash is raped by the Bluebeard of Cape Cod and then blamed for it, and from then on, his life is a progression of non-stop horror. He is kidnapped by Marvin who repeatedly rapes him over a period of years. He is sold into sexual servitude at Club Cod. He somehow manages to avoid getting addicted to the opioids that all the child prostitutes were fed to keep them tame, and when Ash escapes, it is only because he is instead personally taken under Papa Dino’s wing, who specifically sexually abuses him while simultaneously not knowing or caring that Marvin continues to rape Ash, among presumably a handful of other people. Blanca is a small, bright focal point for Ash at age 13 when Ash lets himself briefly believe he has autonomy, and he is released to start his own gang. Ash’s fundamental humanity and inherent leadership magnetically draw people to him, and for the first time in his life, Ash briefly entertains the idea of having a private romantic relationship of his own. He is attracted to a girl he likes very much, but she is murdered almost immediately due to her association with him. He afterward throws himself into the business of his gang without ever fully extracting himself from Papa Dino’s hold. It is only with the discovery of the capsule containing Banana Fish that Ash for the first time in his short life discovers a bit of real leverage he can actually use against Dino. The subsequent drug war sees him beaten, sent to jail, raped many more times, and sent on a cross-country mission on the lam from the law, as well as from Dino’s goons, both Corsican and Chinese. Yut-Lung proves to be a worthy adversary in LA, and his teaming up with Arthur sees Ash murdering his best friend Shorter in cold blood who is forcibly high on banana fish in order to save Eiji from an especially savage disembowelment. Ash is later declared legally dead, sent to a private insane asylum to be experimented on, tortured with the mangled bits of Shorter’s brain, and then after escaping yet again, still forced into a corner when Dino tricks and threatens him into becoming officially adopted, once more in order to prevent Eiji’s death. Ash is drugged, literally blinded, beaten, and emotionally and physically torn down. He nearly dies from intentionally wasting away, and is hospitalized. When he eventually once again manages to escape, it is only to regroup long enough to prepare to engage with his men in actual guerrilla warfare. The mercenary Foxx kills nearly all of Ash’s remaining gang, and once AGAIN, Ash is raped. Ash is ultimately deprived of his revenge when he then has to witness Papa Dino’s death by the hand of someone other than himself. These are the major plot points, and don’t even touch on the myriad of lesser cruelties Ash has dealt with over the course of his short life, of which there are many, many more. (See: The death of most of his friends, that fucklord Arthur, everything about Cape Cod, the pain of using his sexual wiles as a weapon, the pain of knowing if he opens up to others that the lives of his friends will be in danger, the pain of being unable to give his loved ones proper burials, his one hundred issues with classism, his complete inability to trust others with important tasks, the list goes on.)

Around volume 10, I started, in a serious way, feeling like Ash deserved death. Not in the way that a dog is put out of it’s misery when it is sick, but more in the way that when the path is this hard, the reward at the end should be equivalent to the struggle. Being a CSA survivor all on its own demands a certain level of understanding, especially when approaching volatile, sensitive subjects like suicide. The act of taking one’s own life is so deeply personal and hotly debated that there is no true narrative argument legitimate enough to address it’s purpose. All of it is too subjective. However, in the case of Ash Lynx as the thematic hero, the case stands that he never, except for perhaps the small corridor between the ages of 0-7, lived a life anywhere remotely near average, so his many brushes with near-suicide are chillingly understandable. At one point, when forced to either shoot himself in the head or watch Eiji die, Ash even goes so far as to grab the gun and immediately try to blow his brains out. When the gun is proven empty, instead of breathing a secret sigh of relief, Ash only demands that Yut Lung give him a bullet.

Though this emphasizes Ash’s near fanatical devotion to protecting Eiji, whose innocence he both disdains and canonizes, it also represents his constant readiness to die. This flirtation with the reaper is emphasized over and over in the official art, where a sexual element is often present in his interactions with death. Ash wishes for death to embrace him, he literally desires it. This is mostly on a subtextual level, but other times his desire is stiflingly surface-level.

The extent of Ash’s damage is so severe and was inflicted on him so early that his ability to live a normal life was only ever subject to his situation. An argument can be made that his unusually high IQ kept him from the brink of emotional destruction for the majority of his life, but in spite of his incredible virility and strength of character, Ash’s prospects as he aged were always bleak at best. Ash the adult is almost unfathomable. He was literally never allowed to be a child during a key developmental period, and even the manga infers that Eiji’s presence as a romantic element is strongly tied to Ash’s desire to return to a time of innocence. Ash is permanently trapped in a never-neverland of sorts, sexually defiled to the point where his own sexual awakening has been completely obscured beyond his own recognition. His relationship with Eiji is painfully asexual, one, because literally everything about Banana Fish is painful, but also because it is unclear if Ash may have been naturally asexual in the first place or if he was made into an asexual as the result of his childhood trauma. Either way, he certainly doesn’t have a lot of choice about the way that he is, and that way is, fundamentally, morally, and spiritually exhausted. It is only his tenacious spark, his survivors grip to life, and his affection for others in his life whom he loves that are weaker than him, that keeps him stubbornly clung to his own mortal vessel until the very end.

Eiji’s presence as a guiding light is, in THE definitively heartbreaking turn, the permission Ash needs to allow himself to finally die. He has always known that he would die, probably even thought that he should have already died, many, many times over. He is permanently and irreversibly damaged by the course of his life, and though we scream and cry and pray in the hope that Ash can make it, that he can still pull through and come out on the other side living and thriving in love, he was ultimately just never meant to make it that far. Even when Eiji tries to convince Ash that he is not the leopard, that he can come back down from the mountain, we are distantly still aware that this is not true, despite how difficult it is to accept. This difference of character is most clearly seen in Ash’s foil with Yut-Lung; both boys are the savant products of rape-and-murder-riddled childhoods. However, where Yut-Lung lacked anyone to give him acceptance and affection as he grew, Ash ended his time knowing love. Where Yut-Lung survives to the end and goes on to an even higher position of strength, he still has an emotional arc to complete. Yut Lung must discover for himself the value of human life. Ash already knew this value from the beginning, because his moral compass, which sometimes admittedly became scrambled, more or less always pointed true by the end of things.

The argument can be made that as the embodiment of the concept of Salinger’s short story, Ash is fated to die. Eiji, who in many ways is the window through which we experience this world, refuses to bend to fate. He insists in innocence again and again that Ash can change his fate, and for a moment, when Ash finds the plane ticket to Japan in Eiji’s letter, we really, really want to believe him. So, of course, because this manga is singularly cruel, it is here that Ash is stabbed. Of ffffucking course, after everything, death comes for Ash in a fashion which is completely mundane against the grandiose, bombastic scale of the story. An old grudge settled by someone Ash didn’t even have the time to hate in the first place. Ash let himself believe in a real life with Eiji for a single moment, and that proved to be his downfall. When he let his guard down, he let death in. He realizes his destiny immediately, because he is not stupid. His death is not a suicide, it is an understanding.

According to Akimi Yoshida, fate always wins out, but what the manga adds to this sad experience is this; despite everything, unlike Salinger’s broken Seymour, Ash’s heart in the end is full of love. His perfect day to die is the day he reads Eiji’s letter, the letter that declares them permanently bonded. Falling in love allows Ash to let go of himself gently, instead of the infinitely more brutal end he would have met at a villain’s hand otherwise, if he hadn’t fought tooth and nail for his very last scrap of autonomy up until that moment. Eiji’s love as an act of compassion is most perfectly realized; because Ash’s Perfect Day is one of is own making. All the circumstances together form a perfect conclusion. He didn’t see the knife coming, and he didn’t need to. After Papa Dino’s death, after Eiji is gone, Ash can finally stop. He can accept that his trauma is greater than even him. In a life spent being forced back and forth according to the violent winds of his circumstance, he chooses to, (and that’s important, he chooses to,) retreat like a cat to a quiet place of safety to live out his last moments. In this way, Ash’s death is merely a setting down of something unbearably heavy. Because he is loved, because Eiji is safe and far away, Ash is at last released from the prison of his life.

Other Banana Fish Meta: CAPE COD AS PURGATORY AND ASH’S BREAK FROM INNOCENCE

#banana fish #meta #death as a reward #ash lynx #eiji okumura #spoilers #oof #OOF I SAID

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theinquisitivej · 5 years

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‘Avengers: Endgame’ – A Movie Review, and a Reflection on Endings

Endings are rarely the definitive final word.

A person’s story can come to an end, but the stories of the people around them and the world they live in carry on, even if that one person isn’t there anymore. That realisation conjures up a whole tangled mess of emotions, but it is the natural way of things. It’s not right to want everything to end with you. In life, we make the most of the time and energy we’re given, and if you make enough right decisions, get lucky, and dedicate enough of yourself, you’ll hopefully get to go with the sense that you did okay, and that those you leave behind are going to be alright. Endings in fiction are as infinitely variable as any other feature of artistic expression, but in narratives with expansive casts or fleshed out worlds, they often leave us with the feeling that we’d only have to stay a little longer and there would be more stories to explore. Just as the real world is bigger than any one lifetime, successfully-established fictional worlds feel much larger than any one set of characters and their narrative.

For the last eleven years, audiences have enjoyed a series of blockbusters featuring an impressively varied range of stylistic approaches. At their best, these films are deeply satisfying and affecting, delivering poignant moments about characters coming to terms with their own flaws and trying their best to do the right thing. But when considered together, these films have never entirely felt resolved, with each one going out on a lingering note of “just wait for what comes next”. The story was never over for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because another film was never far away. And now that the grand conclusion has finally come and $2.5 billion worth of us have watched and re-watched it, things are just the same as ever, and yet we’re at a moment that we’ve never seen before and are unlikely to see again for a long time. We’ve reached an ending of the story that begun with Tony Stark and his box of scraps in that cave in 2008. The story is over. But there are more stories to come.

Yes, there will be spoilers ahead. But I say again: this film has crossed over the two and a half billion dollar mark. I’m pretty sure if you’re reading this, you’ll have contributed your drop or two to Marvel’s bucket. So let’s talk about the movie.

I appreciate the efforts of Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely as screenwriters, Joe and Anthony Russo as directors, and the input of every person involved in deciding the final shape of Endgame’s story to make its structure noticeably different to that of Infinity War. The previous Avengers film is a constant juggling act, relying on the viewer taking to Thanos as a central thread around which the rest of the film is hung. We’re either seeing the various steps Thanos is taking along his journey, hearing about what kind of man he is and what he intends to do, or seeing characters who are consistently on the back foot as they frantically scramble to strategically and mentally prepare for an opponent they’re not ready for. By this point in the series, we’ve been conditioned to expect to see things primarily from the point of view of the dozens of characters aligned with the Avengers, but Infinity War is messy and fractured when you look at it from the perspective of the heroes. And that’s the point – our heroes are fractured, and so there’s no unified effort against the villain as he single-mindedly pursues his goal with continuous success. The Avengers are a mess, and they lose. Thanos is the one who seizes control of the narrative, undoing the decisions and sacrifices made by the heroes as he dictates what his ambitions are and why they are so noble… and because viewers are susceptible to sympathising with the person who names themselves the hero and takes the reins of the narrative, far too many people bought Thanos’ rhetoric. For a year there, we really were seeing think-pieces that said “maybe the genocidal zealot who emotionally manipulates people is right”!

But Endgame’s structure deliberately contrasts against Infinity War’s. Whereas Infinity War is about heroes being separated and the catastrophe that follows in the wake of this disunity, Endgame presents its heroes as a group of grieving people who are unified through their shared regrets and resolve to overcome their despair together and work towards a singular objective to try and fix everything. The Avengers are disassembled in Infinity War and reassembled in Endgame. As a result, the structure is comparatively more uniform. You can clearly differentiate the film into three distinct thirds – the five-year time skip that shows life on a mournful Earth still coming to terms with half of life being eradicated, the Back to the Future Part II time-travel mission as characters revisit scenarios from previous films, and the big blowout battle where every surviving main superpowered character in the entire franchise is dumped into one battle for your viewing pleasure. Each third offers something different, meaning you cover all of the ground that you’d want to in a dramatic, energetic, and emotional close to a blockbuster saga with literally dozens of characters who are all key players. Each third is impressively balanced, and they all act as strong supporting columns for the film as a result.

However, because these thirds are as distinct as they are, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll come away saying “I preferred these two parts over that third part, which felt okay but a little unnecessary”. Personally, I think there are plenty of themes (grief and a desire to revisit the past, putting guilt and trauma to rest, and of course, the strength of unity) and character arcs (Nebula finally choosing to integrate herself into a group of people who value her and literally killing the old version of herself who wanted only to please her abusive father-figure being the stand-out one) which help gel each of the film’s three segments together without much resistance. But I have encountered multiple people who have expressed the sentiment that they really liked two thirds but they could take or leave another third – inevitably, which third is which always varies. I can imagine that, if you’re not getting a lot out of one of the segments, Endgame will certainly make you antsy for the film to return to what you felt it was pulling off more successfully. The three distinct thirds can result in a fragmented viewing experience for some audience members. On the other hand, I felt that the clearer, more focused structure not only made the film seem less jumbled than its predecessor, but also made it a suitable companion-piece to Infinity War and its Thanos-centric structure.

The emotional response I have to Endgame is not the same electric glee I had from seeing the first Avengers, though moments like Cap picking up the hammer, the cinematic equivalent of a double-page spread of every single MCU hero charging towards Thanos’ army in one image, and “she’s got help” all sparked that feeling off inside me with more intensity than I’ve felt for a long time. No, what I feel more than anything about the MCU right now is a paradoxical sense of melancholic yet nevertheless delighted satisfaction. A part of that comes from the strengths of that first third, which, despite my sincere claims that all three sections gel together successfully, is nevertheless my favourite segment of the film (with the possible exception of the epilogue, but we’ll get to that). In this review’s opening paragraphs, I talked about endings not being the definitive final word as life and the world must always carry on. My reflection on that was primarily positive, but in this opening hour, we see the sad alternative form that this concept can take. Thanos killed half the universe and was killed in retaliation – the conflict ends, as does the hope of repairing the damage done by this tragedy. But the universe doesn’t end even with half of its inhabitants being gone. As Steve succinctly says, the survivors have to keep moving forward, “otherwise Thanos should have killed all of us”. It’s an outlook that Steve encourages, even if he can’t fully believe it himself, because he thinks it’s the best way for people to regain control over their unthinkable circumstances. The setup for Endgame presents us with a universe that died a half-death – everything ended for half its population five years ago, while life for the other half of the population persists, and they are trying their best to make sense of that.

That struggle with grief, both on a colossal and a personal scale, is what unifies every single character, but the difference lies in how they respond to that grief. Black Widow throws herself into her work to try and keep the good that superheroes can do going, but her efforts feel as if they aren’t enough, being told by Okoye that the natural tectonic shifts she’s reporting on aren’t something you actively address with a strike squad and that you have to “handle it by not handling it”. Hawkeye was always the simple guy involved in the Avengers who was kept grounded by his family. Without them, he has nothing to keep him rooted, no home to return to, so he goes in the complete opposite direction and becomes a dedicated avenger in a literal sense, dolling out punishment fuelled by his frustration without any of the purpose and direction that he gained from his connections to friends and family. Hulk / Banner actually come out of this having made some progress, deciding to meditate on what they learned from their losses and literally come together in their grief to become one being, Professor Hulk. Tony and Pepper make the most of the luck they managed to find together, but are both keenly aware of all those who weren’t so lucky, wanting to get back what they lost but keep what they’ve found, which is remarkably human and understandable. Thor… hm. Okay, yes, Thor is a mixed bag. In all honesty, I loved Thor in this film and was empathetic towards his depression and anxiety attacks. I also love that Thor gets to stay as he is and still be shown that he is indeed worthy to wield Mjolnir and fight in the battle alongside all these other heroes without having to change who he is. But I do acknowledge the issues that numerous viewers have raised about some of the jokes made by the other characters being at the expense of Thor’s weight, and how they found it uncomfortable, and, in instances, meanspirited and harmful. I love the current version of Thor and feel Chris Hemsworth injected even more bubbly charm and infectious spirit to his character while blending it with the genuine pathos Thor was going through with remarkable talent. But the film’s tendency to use the character’s weight as an opportunity to make jokes about him being fat is not ideal. I’m glad to see Thor continue as he is into further movies (though it is possible that they’ll say he lost weight between Endgame and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3), but I sincerely hope we DON’T see the fat-jokes continue as they are. The lighting, music, and performances of everyone in the cast all contribute to this palpable sensation of immense loss, which communicates not only what’s at stake in this epic conclusion, but also how each character involved has been changed by what they’ve had to go through since Infinity War.

But that only touches on the melancholic side of things; why do I also feel delighted and satisfied as I take in these sombre themes? Well, to put it simply, this one sticks the landing by closing the right doors in the most appropriate way while keeping other doors open in a balanced approach that seems so right. Tony Stark sacrifices his life after declaring “I am Iron Man” one last time, putting everything of himself into doing the right thing when so long ago he enjoyed a life of zero-accountability and kept his work on weapons technology at a safe distance. The image of his first arc-reactor in its memento case reading “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart” floating on the water at his funeral destroyed me at both viewings, because not only have his actions proved this fact as well, but we see numerous people all around this site as they pay their respects, showing the hearts of so many characters we care about who were connected to his. And Steve Rogers, the soldier who could never sit down if he saw a situation pointed south, after standing up against a galactic tyrant and his army, first alone and then with the support of countless men and women rallying to him, finally lets himself rest. Not many people have talked about the new horizons Steve takes in in this film; when the surviving heroes take Rocket’s ship to the Garden Planet, the camera makes a point of focusing on an extreme close-up of Steve’s eye as they travel through hyperspace. Even after nearly a decade of familiarity with this new era, the man out of time, a kid from 1940s Brooklyn, is seeing things that he could’ve never imagined. He’s come so, so far. I can think of no better conclusion than for him to return back home.

But the film’s epilogue isn’t just concerned with closing the curtain on these heroes as they sit down to rest. Just as these stories end, we see hints of what stories are yet to come for other heroes. In the sequence where the camera pans over the countless faces attending Tony’s funeral, it’s fitting that the last hero we see (before Nick Fury steps into frame under the veranda, concealed in the shadows at the very end, much like his very first entrance as a post-credits tease at the end of Iron Man) is Carol Danvers. Having made her debut just months ago, she is the most recent addition to this universe, so her position at the back of the line reflects that. Her placement halfway up the steps she’s standing on suggests that she’s acting as an embodiment for the road to the future – she is literally on the next step for the series of films Marvel will make as they move forward. And she’s not alone, because other heroes will continue to thrive and flourish as their stories continue. Sam is handed the mantle of Captain America, and what’s achingly beautiful about this exchange is the attitude of the two men involved. Sam views Steve as his friend first and foremost, so he is sincere when he says he’s happy for him. But Sam also respects Steve so much as the man who deserves to be Captain America. Much like how Mjolnir can only be wielded by those who are worthy, Cap’s shield becomes a sacred relic that should only be worn by the right man for the job. And when Steve gently encourages Sam to try the shield on, knowing full well what it means to the world and to both of them, he does so as both Captain America finding the right man to fill his position, and as Sam’s friend Steve, telling him with assurance that he really is one of the best people he knows. When Sam confesses that he feels like the shield belongs to someone else, Steve responds with elegant purity “it doesn’t”. Everything at the core of Captain America, the bravery, the conviction to always stand back up and fight no matter how much it pains them to do so, and the responsibility to always look out for the little guy, are all qualities which never belonged to Steve and Steve alone; those virtues can belong to anyone, and Steve tells his friend that he recognises them in Sam. I cannot wait to see the good that Sam will do as he follows his promise to do his best.

Tom Holland’s Spider-Man has been developing a mentee / mentor relationship with Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man since Civil War, and here it culminates in a bittersweet arc that lays the groundwork for what I expect will be some fascinating and impactful characterisation in Far From Home in a few months’ time. Tony mourns for Peter most of all, viewing him as a surrogate son who has much of the same inventive genius and drive that he has, with the addition of some compassionate heart and level of responsibility that is far beyond his years. Peter has it in him to be better than Tony, and Tony knows this. So it’s understandable why the loss of that kind, youthful spirit and his limitless potential would hurt Tony so much. In Tony’s dying moments, we share Peter’s tears as we see how much this connection means to them both and realise what is being lost. But we know this is exactly what Tony fought for – the chance for the next generation to live and grow. Holland’s performance when we see Peter return to school hints at his sense of disconnection, as his expression creates the impression that he feels like a stranger in a place with which he once felt so familiar. With the support of his friends, especially Ned, he will find his way in the next step of his journey.

Endgame provides definitive endings for the journeys of characters we’ve been following for more films than we see most actors get to play Bond, but it also manages to cast a hopeful eye towards the future without compromising its position as a neat conclusion to everything up to this point. In fact, its simultaneous handling of reflective closure and moving forward with renewed purpose makes for a remarkably poignant milestone. Stories rarely strike such a balance between meaningful finality and the uplifting excitement of wanting more stories and knowing you’re going to get them. And that probably sounds shallow and frivolous because, at the end of the day, we’re talking about a successful studio delivering a hyped-up film that promises to be a finale but also serves the financially driven purpose of pitching you a dozen other films and TV series. But through the efforts of over a decade’s worth of dedicated storytellers and creative artists, this series has come to mean more than just another substantial drop in Disney’s bucket. It’s become a fictional world that a massive audience has fallen in love with in the same way that people did with Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Chronicles of Narnia, Mass Effect, and a hundred other worlds. We’ve rooted for these characters and cried at some of their most emotional moments, and we’ve grown to care so much about the MCU that it represents a living, breathing world for us. And this kind of ending just makes that proximity to reality that much closer. Stories end and lives come to a close, but they often do so in the middle of other people’s lives and stories. After all, Yinsen’s sacrifice in the MCU’s first film, Iron Man is the end of his story, but his death acts as a foundational moment for the man that Tony would grow to be – his ending is a part of Iron Man’s beginning. In Endgame, heroes pass away, lay down arms, or choose to step down from a position they no longer feel a need to hold onto. At the same time, other heroes move onto the next step of their journey, accept new responsibilities, and accept the titles passed onto them from those who know they will do a fine job. It’s a beautiful encapsulation of the natural balance between life and death, between the end of the old and the beginning of something new. It’s the balance that Thanos strived for but never fully understood, as he wanted to cultivate life but in his obsessive crusade ended up sewing nothing but death. It is only right that the heroes are the ones to achieve that balance through their actions and connections with one another.

Final Score: Gold.

Avengers: Endgame is overflowing and self-indulgent, but it has every right to be and more than earned it. There are missteps, and there’s room for disappointment over the direction that certain characters are taken in, most notably the original version of Gamora ultimately staying dead and staying the victim of an abusive father-figure who seizes all agency away from her, or Thor arguably continuing to veer away from where he was at the end of Thor: Ragnarok and his new weight being an excuse to make cheap jokes that feel uncomfortable. But it is also a well-structured film that offers three distinct tones that are all equally engaging, and its delightful moments of humour and momentous action strikes a grand and immensely satisfying chord with its examination of grief and the natural interrelationship of the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another. It is as significant a landmark for this fictional series as any invested viewer could hope for. It’s a hell of a thing to have come this far, and I can’t wait for whatever comes next.

#The Inquisitive J #film #movies #review #film reviews #movie reviews #critic #film critic #film criticism #endgame #avengers endgame #marvel #mcu #endgame review #endings #the inquisitive j reviews

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tsmadigan · 5 years

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Anything Mentionable: Standing Where Rembrandt Stood

My introduction to the art of Rembrandt came indirectly, through my friend Fred Rogers. In the fall of 1995, I traveled to Pittsburgh to interview the children’s television icon for a newspaper story, and in one of our early conversations, Fred mentioned that his favorite author was Henri Nouwen, a Dutch Catholic priest.

Henri, as I would soon learn, was one of the world’s most beloved spiritual writers with recurring themes of grace, healing and redemption in a world of pervasive suffering. After Fred’s tip, I found The Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri’s book that was a long meditation on the monumental Rembrandt painting of the same name.

Henri had first been captivated by a print of the masterpiece, which led to his 1986 pilgrimage to the State Hermitage Museum in what was then the Soviet Union. He sat alone for hours in front of the painting—Rembrandt’s dramatic depiction of a father’s welcome and forgiveness for a wayward son.

“And so there I was; facing the painting that had been on my mind and in my heart for nearly three years,” Henri later wrote. “I was stunned by its majestic beauty. Its size, larger than life; its abundant reds, browns and yellows; its shadowy recesses and bright foreground. But most of all the light-enveloped embrace of the father and son surrounded by four mysterious bystanders, all of this gripped me with an intensity far beyond my anticipation. There had been moments in which I had wondered whether the real painting might disappoint me. The opposite was true. Its grandeur and splendor made everything recede into the background and held me completely captivated.”

The Return of the Prodigal Son is a beautiful book and inspired me to read several others written by Henri. But I remember thinking it was somewhat odd that he would invest so much meaning in an art work, that he would delve so deeply into each fine detail, that he would find the experience of it so overwhelming.

I think I understand better now, after becoming somewhat more acquainted myself with great art in recent years. There is indeed a mysterious power in the first-hand experience of a masterpiece, and fortunately for me and people like me, that pleasure, awe and wonder are not reserved for those with advanced degrees in art history.

That, in fact, was a founding principle of the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth, the internationally renowned institution that opened in 1972. When it came to art, the Kimbell’s first director, the late Richard Fargo Brown, put as much value in the opinion of a museum janitor as a curator from the Metropolitan Museum in New York.

“He was very much of that mind,” Brown’s widow, Jane, told me a few years ago. “He both despised and prized the word ‘elitism,’ saying that if ‘elite’ means ‘special’ and that’s really all it means, then he was an elitist. But that didn’t mean that the janitor couldn’t be an elitist, too; the janitor could also recognize that beauty. Rick said that there is a reason that great works have come down through time—that there is an appeal that you don’t have to be schooled for.

“He was among the young art historians…[who] really believed that your eye told the truth—you needed no other information.”

In the remarkable story of the Kimbell Art Museum, only Kay Fortson and her husband, Ben, have been there from the beginning. Kay was the niece and heir to Kay and Velma Kimbell, the Fort Worth business giant and his wife. Upon his death in 1964, Kay Kimbell left a large personal art collection and a vague but Kay and Ben Fortson at the Kimbell Art Museum opening in 1972imposing mandate to “build a museum of the first class.” Velma then immediately contributed her half of the estate to that same end.

More than any two people, as leaders of the Kimbell Art Foundation board for decades, Kay and Ben have been responsible for seeing the dream become an unlikely reality. But in the summer of 1960, four years before Kay Kimbell’s death, the coming challenges were impossible for the young couple to imagine. Kay was a young wife and mother, Ben an ambitious oilman who had never set foot inside a museum.

That year, while traveling with another couple to the Olympic games in Rome, the party from Texas made a brief stop in Amsterdam. The wives then coaxed their husbands into visiting the famous Rijkmuseum, home to one of the world’s great art collections. Most of the names of the artists there were unrecognizable to Ben.

“That’s the day I became familiar with Rembrandt,” Ben told me a few years ago.

But it was more than that. As he viewed the collection of Rembrandts, one by one, Ben understood immediately why the work of the Dutch master had endured through the centuries. He might not necessarily have had the vernacular to explain what he felt—Ben just knew.

“I remember walking through and seeing how the Rembrandts just glowed and stuck out,” he said. “There was something about the way he painted faces.”

He would never forget the experience, particularly with all that was to come. In 1975, Richard Brown acquired a Rembrandt masterpiece for the Kimbell. “Bust of a Young Jew” is a dark painting of a brooding young man in a yarmulke that was finished in 1663, late in the artist’s life and the same period that Rembrandt completed “The Return of the Prodigal Son.” That was when the artist most sought to explore the human spirit through his work.Bust of a Young Jew

For Ben Fortson, the Kimbell’s Rembrandt remains deeply personal and satisfying. But he has never forgotten the broader meaning of his experience with the Dutch master.

“That’s what we’re trying to develop here,” Ben Fortson said. “We give people the opportunity to come in, sit down, and really look at masterpieces, one at a time. If you can just educate one person like me, who walks in at eighteen or nineteen or twenty, and he sees masterpieces and the experience just sticks...That changes a person’s life.”

The December weekday afternoon had turned overcast. Dusky natural light filtered into the Kimbell gallery where I was greeted by a Picasso painting. Further down the greens, blues and browns of a Cézanne landscape fairly leapt from the canvas. There was a Cézanne portrait hanging nearby, and a Matisse on the opposite wall and at the end of the room the Kimbell’s newest acquisition, a sublime landscape by the French painter Pierre Bonnard.

But on this visit to the Kimbell I had a destination in mind, so I had to tear myself away. A left turn into an adjoining room, past Monet’s Weeping Willow to the place where Rembrandt’s moody masterpiece hung. The face of the young Jew was half in shadow—curls of beard and forelocks and eyes whose expression have baffled viewers for four centuries. Were they sad? Weary? Did they even betray a subtle mirth? As I wondered again, I was conscious of the beating of my heart and stirrings in the deepest part of my being.

Then I moved closer to the painting, standing where Rembrandt himself once stood. Inspection from that distance revealed that the speck of light at the end of the nose was really a dab of white paint; the wisps of beard and lines in the forehead were brushstrokes. It was humbling, such an intimate acquaintance with the details of his creation.

I heard a voice behind me.

“What do you see?” the middle-aged man asked.

I told him that for all the times I had looked at this picture, I never quite knew. The picture meant something different to me every time I stood before it.

“I sure don’t know anything about this stuff,” he said.

“But that’s the glory of it,” I said. “You don’t need to be an expert.”

As we stood there, I told him the story of young Texas oil man in Amsterdam, in a museum for the first time, understanding the greatness of Rembrandt the moment he encountered it. As Ben Fortson learned that day, you don’t need to know, at least not in the scholarly sense.

“Wow,” the man said.

He paused while looking at the painting.

“If I can take the time to appreciate these things. I can appreciate God’s work, mountains, rivers. But this…”

He smiled, thanked me for my time, and wandered through the quiet gallery toward the next masterpiece.

Rembrandt van Rijn, Bust of a Young Jew, 1663 Oil on canvas 25 7/8 x 22 5/8 in. (65.8 x 57.5 cm) AP 1977.04 Kimbell, Art Museum, Fort Worth, Texas

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