#vision is a dick

[faeriekit]

"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #free to a good home

[martiniluvr]

18+ minors dni

warnings: overstimulation 🎀

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

jason todd who absolutely cannot handle jealousy. who sees red at the slightest lingering stare from a man at the bar while you’re laughing about something you heard at work. who struggles to contain his urge to maim when some asshole ogles the shape of your thighs in your mini dress. who memorises the number plate of any driver who rolls past with their window down to yell out something obscene about your body, knowing the red hood will be paying them a visit later.

it’s probably the lazarus pit talking, but he knows it would be so easy to shatter every bone in their bodies with his bare hands—and, shit, it would feel fuckin’ great. but he’s promised you he’ll save his anger for the ‘real’ bad guys in gotham, so he settles for the next best option: fucking you so good you can barely remember your own name.

one of his hands gropes at your breasts while the other rubs tight circles on your clit as he ruts into you, the obscene sound of your wetness around his cock sending a chill down his spine. he’s worked three torturous orgasms out of you already—two with his mouth, one with his fingers—and you whine desperately as you feel him going for a fourth. your hands weakly claw at the y-shaped scar on his chest as he angles your hips off the bed, so that every thrust brushes against the sensitive spot in your walls.

he looks down at you with a mixture of pride and ferocity. “what’s the matter? too much for you, ma?” he asks, his voice ragged as he fucks into you. your eyes are watery and you’re reduced to a string of incoherent moans, your walls clamping down on him hard as he speaks. jason smiles wide—that’s all the answer he needs. seeing you gasp and writhe at the sensitivity as your fourth orgasm is forced out of you is enough to confirm what the both of you already know. none of those guys could fuck you like this, baby.

#ik I said send in the dick grayson asks but I had another vision and needed to share 🤞 #jason todd #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood #red hood smut #red hood x reader #red hood x you #batman #dc comics #batfam #fem reader #martiniluvr

[coolcritter83]

another one... based off this

#ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #shitpost #objection.lol #im on a roll #klapollo #sort of #just realized i wrote one instead of dick. whatever... you get the vision

[qcomicsy]

If the batkids had a podcast

Redhood: I was a pretty easy child-

Nightwing: You were.

Redhood: Straight A's and everything. Like, I would be hanging out with Batman- (laugh) I would be- You know right?

Nightwing: Yeah.

Redhood: Just chilling. No patrol day. And he would be like "what do you want to do?" and I would be like- "Read! :D"

Nightwing *chuckles*: "Homework!"

Redhood: "Homework!". And then- And then I fucking died-

Red Robin: WHEZE.

Redhood: I fucking- Don't be a easy child.

Red Robin (chocking): Don't be a good kid.

Redhood: Don't be a good kid. Start- I don't know– Start throwing shit on fire or something.

Next post

#this came to me in a vision #they keep doing this without Bruce knowing when he catches them they're like on top 1 listened podcasts in Gotham #and other I don't know 5 states #batfamily shenanigans #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #redhood #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #tim robin #robin tim #robin tim drake #batkids podcast

[fishfission-dc]

Batfamily Powerpoint Night!

(mandatory team building)

Links to the full slideshows, updated as I post them!

Part 1: Bruce’s Full Slideshow:

Part 2: Dick’s Full Slideshow:

Part 3: Tim’s Full Slideshow:

Part 4: Jason’s Full Slideshow: 

(they forced him to be there so he’s making it everyone’s problem):

Part 5: Cass’s Full Slideshow:

Part 6: Stephanie’s Full Slideshow:

Part 7: Damian’s Full Slideshow:

Part 8: Duke’s Full Slideshow:

Part 9: Barbara’s Full Slideshow:

Part 10: Alfred’s Full Slideshow:

(unexpected addition, mostly about Tim):

#if you want full versions of any of these i would be HAPPY to make them #i have so many ideas #this was a vision that came to me in the night #batfamily powerpoint au #batman #dc robin #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #dc comics

[doctorsiren]

Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations - Bridge to the Turnabout (2004)

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #dick gumshoe #phoenix wright #bridge to the turnabout #ace attorney fanart #yes it’s loss #this has definitely been done before #but I was hit with the vision and I had to do it #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate

[ohnonotthehorrors]

You know, if any of the bats are going to kill the Joker: it should probably be Dick or Duke.

Like, I get it. 'Jason kills the Joker' sounds like the most obvious solution. But the thing is: Jason literally does not care about the Joker.

"But he's the man that killed him-" Sure. But that was a While ago. (At least if you ignore all the rebooting of the universe). Sure, Joker is a big symptom of what Jason sees as the problem. Which is: Crime needs to be controlled. Because more than anyone, he knows it won't be stopped. (It especially won't be stopped if no one is allowed to kill the bad guys).

But here's the thing. Jason's arc does not, and Should Not, revolve around Joker at all. Jason's story really never has been about revenge, and he should be Allowed to Move On from this one of the many people that hurt him. This isn't a: 'Oh Jason should learn to forgive and let go and not take revenge' this is a: 'the Joker is pathetic. Killing him just straight up doesn't do anything to Jason's arc or character.'

But Dick? Dick whose TRIED to kill the Joker? Dick who first donned the mask and tights to take revenge? Who wanted to make up for not being there for Jason? Yeah. This is the character that Would benefit from killing the Joker.

The first Robin has been around almost as long as the Joker has (both made in the same year) and it would be nothing more than divine justice for him to finally be the one to end him.

Well that's all well and good, you say. But what about Duke? What does he have to do with this?

You mean other than Duke being Awesome and he deserves to?

Duke's parents were hit by Joker gas. Pretty famously part of his character's back story. Duke has already killed a 'mirage' of Joker in the comics, which I think would be neat foreshadowing.

And think about it. The guy with light powers, the guy that works the day shift, by all means the Proof that Gotham really does care. Really does take things seriously. Why Shouldn't he get to kill off the personification of apathy?

Now the other point, and this is really just a personal vendetta, I would love Love the character that is Constantly ignored (at least by fandom) to kill off DCs 'specialist awful white man.'

The other person who should get to kill the Joker is Barbara Gordon (for self explanatory reasons) except I don't trust any writer to do it.

(She should get to beat that Thing into a white and red Pulp and shred his remains. No 'pull a trigger' no 'hire a swat team.' She gets to do it with her Bare Fists)

#do you see the vision? #I'm like barely in this fandom but the voices spoke to me #if this is too long and should have a 'keep reading' I apologize #jason todd #duke thomas #the signal #dick grayson #nightwing #batfamily #batfam #batsiblings #barbara gordon #babs gordon #oracle

[haveihitanerve]

Nightwing: MAMA!!!!! Red Hood, unwillingly because its just an impulse when dick starts singing, and when hearing this song: just killed a man! Red Robin, always willing to sing on patrol: put a gun against his head! Robin, never one to shy away from singing about murder. And showing off his talent: pulled my trigger now hes dead! Spoiler, lives for this sort of thing: MAMA!!!! Oracle, googled the lyrics: life has just begun The kids: *look expectantly at Bruce* Batman:.... Bruce, deep sigh: but now I've gone and thrown it alllllll away Cass: MAMA!!!! The Kids, so proud of their dad: oooOOOooooh Jason: didn't mean to make you cry! Dick: if im not back again, this time tomorrow! The Riddler: Carry on!!! Carry ON!!!! The Kids, wiping tears from their eyes as they arrest him: As if nothing really matters

#batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #timothy drake #damian wayne #barbara gordon #they so would #it-it just happened #i saw it in a vision' #call me sandwich #batman

[t00thpasteface]

messing around with a more retro style batman design bc my parents are both DELIGHTED to see the retrobat in any context and their enthusiasm is contagious... this is a real thing my dad said about the 60s show

#as usual my mix-n-match mashup designs are less a creative vision and moreso a result of me being indecisive 24/7 #art #sketch #dc #batman #bruce wayne #dc robin #dick grayson

[noxcheshire]

HOT TAKE

But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.

Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.

Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.

But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.

HEAR ME OUT

JUST HEAR ME OUT

I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.

The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —

And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.

But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.

This man will being going THROUGH IT.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #batman #I’m kinda leaning into Tucker being Starfire #I just think he deserves to blast green powers #and also be the hottest girl he’s ever seen #I’m thinking maybe Jack Fenton is Dick Greyson #still debating on the others BUT DO YOU SEE MY VISION? #DO YOU SEE WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN? #GIVE THE ENTIRE DP SIDE OF THEIR UNIVERSE TRAUMA by seeing what they could be in an alternate world of themselves #Danny is going through it too #Vlad is not seeing the picture outside of the absolute joy he has at finally having a son that is just like Danny but without the clones #Vlad: finally! I have a son! And he has your blood Daniel! #Bruce: oh my god my dad is a creep #Sam judging Kon’s everything: you’re on thin fucking ice #she likes his fit but will fist fight him over what he eats and how he acts with his crush #Either Tim is Paulina or Valarie #Sam is judging Kon’s choices

[pokeberry5]

the ending scene of @zahri-melitor's dick&tim amnesia fic stabbed me in the gut

(this is still rough but i dont know when i'll have the spoons to do more with it)

#cw flashing #dick & tim #go read it!!!! tim is dealing So well w the fact that dick doesnt know who he is to him and his whole network of gotham people gets involve #dick grayson #tim drake #fic rec #also sorry for the uh eyestrain #sigh i had a whole Vision but alas #sart

[martiniluvr]

“human beings in a mob”

“what’s a mob to a king?”

“what’s a king to a god?”

“what’s a god to a nonbeliever who don’t believe in

anything?”

#yall see the vision?? #there’s so much I can say abt this analogy #but anyway #just yappin #dc comics #batman #nightwing #red hood #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #batfam #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #red hood x reader #nightwing x reader #martiniluvr

[fuckmeyer]

if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #breaking dawn #smeyer wanted to model all her books off of classic literature: romeo & juliet - wuthering heights - pride & prejudice #AMATEUR HOUR #HEY SMEYER I GOT A FUCKIN STORY TO MODEL YOUR TWILIGHT FANFICTION AFTER #BREAKING DAWN BOOK ONE: Bella fucks Edward for his power & breaks his stone dick in the process - & lo! Ravioli is born in the carnage! #Bella becomes a vamp. she takes over the Cullen coven AND the Volturi bc honestly fuck everyone here only Bella is Cool and Right #oh and vamp hybrids are now legal so vamps start gettin it on. hybrids everywhere. humans who? welcome to the Golden Age baybeeee #BD BOOK 2: Alice comes to Queen Bella with a vision: 'lmao bestie the prophecy says ur getting ur shit smacked' #oh_fuck.avi #Bella begins DEVOURING ALL THE CULLENS INCLUDING RAVIOLI so they can't fulfill the prophecy #vampire fluid contains 11 secret herbs & spices so it's lip-smackin finger-lickin good #omg but ONE vampire was hidden away........ gasp #surprise bitch! it's Ravioli! #turns out Bella mistook Ravioli for LITERAL Ravioli (Chef Boyardee Beefaroni to be exact) #Raviolo comes back and makes Bella throw up! bleh! the Cullens (& Beefaroni) are freed! #together with Benjamin Ravioli now rules over the Cullens and the vamp world #Bella is imprisoned #FUCK Bella #FUCK this story #still a better one than BD tho #the end

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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#batkids podcast #this came at me in a vision it's not even on order but I needed to post it before I losed momentum #batfamily shenanigans #batfam #Batfamily #Nightwing #Dick Grayson #RedHood #Jason Todd #no I did not research if Dick is actually the oldest and *I AM* willing to bend the cannon for this joke to work #also his release date was the first so suck on that/j

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 299

Hear me out- Ghosts have wings. They have wings, which are affected by their cores, and can make them disappear from sight if they want or need to. You got that? Good. 

Ecto-contaminated people? Don’t have wings. Liminals and Halfas, who have developed cores? Do have wings, and they can’t hide said wings, because unlike ghosts? Their bodies are physical living flesh. 

Now Gotham? Ecto-contaminated, there’s no doubt about it. The amount of portals that have been opened there and death pits and death cults… yeah it’d be surprising if it wasn’t. But again, no one really notices, because at most? Most just get a bit of eyeshine. 

The Bats however? Oh man are they freaking out when they wake up with aches in their back and feathers starting to poke through their skin. Curse? Nope! Welcome to Liminality, enjoy the second puberty of wings, emotion-sharing, fangs, claws, and whatever else you might develop- also enjoy the whole eating fear thing. (Wait, the what-)

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Liminal Batfamily #Except for Jason who is straight up a Halfa #Halfa Jason #Comes out from the Pits with massive fuckin wings bursting wide from his back #Which is hilariously how the batfam figure out that Red Hood is Jason almost immediately when he returns to Gotham #And Jason is so wrong-footed the first time he gets utterly slammed with the rest of the fam’s emotions and utter Joy at him being Alive #Jason has albatross-shaped wings that have protruding bones & a glittering underside like an explosion or falling star #In human form they’re more naturalistic red-brown colors with black & white patterning #Bruce’s wings are massive black ones that fade to a gray on the top like a moving shadow #Dick’s is deep blues & flickering stars & dust #Do you see my vision #Shadow Core Bruce #Star Core Jason #Storm Core Dick #Wind Core Tim #Shadow Core Damian #Light Core Cass #Sun Core Duke #Sea Core Steph #Earth Core Barbara #yes this includes metals #yes Steph can control water & paints & has canisters full of glitter water for mischief #Remind me to describe the others’ wings #because I am worried about running out of tags or Tumblr eating them lol #but also imagine ghost chirp au too #And it could even be before the JL have formed or it could be after #But if it's before JL form or early JL I just think it'd be funny if they only know Batman with wings lol

[robintherobiner]

need more de-aging fics.

specifically i need everyone finding out Dick was an angry murder baby or realising just how obsessed with Dick Tim was.

#batfam: awww i bet dicks going to be so cute and sweet! #baby dick: BRUCE. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ZUCCO IS STILL ALIVE. #batfam: okay we have to be careful not to freak tim out cuz he has no idea who we are #baby tim: omg Dick Grayson. i have framed pictures of you on my dresser. i dont care how i got here i just want a hug oh my gosh!!! #do you see my vision #dc comics #dc universe #batman comics #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #dick grayson #de aging