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harryskalechips · 3 years

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one and done Part 3

A/N Hey guys so sorry for a late update but here we are!!!! The last part of the series! I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys enjoyed as well! Let me know what you guys think please and also also also thank you for reading!🥰🥰🥰

Side note: I’ll come back and edit my brain hurts

Harry is engaged and having a baby but Y/N is just his best friend’s little sister.

Today’s warning: We are anticipating some heavy smut in this last part. Please prepare for a spitting, spanking, choking, and hair pulling kink, Male receives oral, unprotected sex and just shit like that y’know? I think there is begging in here too LOL OMG they almost had sex outside again but that’s just so inappropriate but yeah... I think that’s all. Oh yes, Y/N rides and just loves being a horny mess hehehe

Word Count: 11k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST / Part 1 / Part 2

If there was one thing Y/N was excited about… it was her last summer of high school. As she reflected on her junior year, she was happy Harry and her were finally in a place where she could just reach out to him and be comfortable. Although they didn’t have labels, it was the last thing on their minds as they spent most of their free time together away from Ryan and any other nosy classmate of theirs. Harry also spoke about long roadtrips. Despite him staying home for college, he was excited to drive his girl to different campuses and check out new destination sites around the many different cities.

They were optimistic they would stay together in the summer yet here they are spending it apart.

Y/N was in her bedroom sitting on the floor wearing Harry’s sweater as she was staring at the pile of scattered clothes on the floor. It was July 6th and even after a month of grieving for her broken heart, she managed to still wear her ex’s sweater… only because it was the sole object that made her feel like what they had was real.

They were so on and off throughout the year and the one time they managed to stick together, it was all washed away. Too many signs telling them they were not meant to be.

But that’s the truth. Y/N thinks to herself as she wipes away a new coming tear falling down her face. Harry and her are not the cliché plot of dating your brother’s best friend. Their relationship was based on lust and ended with unrequited feelings. They are not soulmates. Y/N rests her head against the back of her bed. No matter how much you try to fight it, if you are not meant to be… that’s it.

“Are you okay?” Ryan stops by her doorway with a plate of late dinner. He was also blatantly oblivious to the fact his little sister was wearing a sweater of his best friend’s.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” She stares at him with an unamused expression on her face. Her room was a mess, her head was in places where it shouldn’t be and her heart just felt broken.

“You’ve been in a pissed off mood since last month.” he genuinely states as he walks into his little sister’s room. Maybe before he wouldn’t bother to ask Y/N how she was but the truth is, he is leaving soon and he’s a bit worried with the way Y/N has been taking care of herself.

“Is it that obvious?” Y/N sarcastically laughs as she throws some clothes away for Ryan to sit on her bed. He places his plate on her desk and takes her offer as he looks around the floor.

“You haven’t left the house nor have I seen Ness around.”

“I haven’t really been speaking to her.”

“Oh so you guys fought?”

“No, we didn’t. I just haven’t really been feeling social.”

“Y/N, you know you can talk to me right?”

“I know.” Y/N bites the inside of her cheek knowing full well that she’s lying.

“Will you be coming to the party tomorrow night?” Oh, that’s right. It’s Harry and Carla’s engagement party.

“That’s why I’m cleaning out my closet.” Ryan laughs a bit as he stands up and pats her head.

“You don’t have to impress anyone. You’re not the one getting married.” Y/N feels her throat tighten a bit as she watches him leave her room with his plate. She lets out a sigh before rubbing her face in frustration. If she had the choice, she wouldn’t go but that would also show Harry that she cares more than he thinks. It’s been a month and she had to prove that she was over him and over the deal.

After a couple hours of sulking on her bedroom floor, she finally stands up and takes off his sweater. In the corner of her room is a cardboard box of clothes that were to be packed away and stored in the attic. Without hesitation, she throws the piece of clothing and carries on with her night.

“Y/N, you look beautiful sweetheart.” Her mom waits for her at the bottom of the stairs. The sun was just about to set and it was also time for their family to drive to Carla’s home for the party everyone has been anticipating.

“Thank you.” Y/N musters a smile as she glances at herself in the mirror one more time before heading out to the car. Her mom was honestly surprised her daughter was all dressed up for the party tonight, there was something off about her but today, it felt like she had a piece of her daughter back again. Saying nothing out loud, she locks the front door and walks with the young girl towards the vehicle.

Truth be told last night before Y/N fell asleep, she knew today would be her biggest performance. All she knew is that she couldn’t wait for this day to end so she can go back and hide in her room.

“Hey mate.” Harry smirks as he offers a hug to Ryan. The party had just begun and Harry waited outside the house to wait for his best man to arrive. He was shitting his pants at the moment and the only thing that would make him feel a bit more comfortable at his own party is if Ryan was by his side -like the usual.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married, Haz.” Ryan tries to hide his disappointment in front of his family. Y/N and her parents stood behind him waiting for the duo to greet each other first. “I thought we would enjoy our bachelor era a bit you know… longer.” Harry tries to laugh as he makes eye contact with the pretty girl. Once the two pull away, he awkwardly laughs and greets Ryan’s parents.

“Carla is it for me man.” Harry tucks his hands inside the pockets of his trousers. “We’ve been together since grade school, I guess it’s time I tie her down to me forever.” Y/N’s mom laughs and pats his shoulder. The five began to walk to the backyard as she spoke up.

“Forget Ryan, I think you two make a lovely couple and are honest soulmates.” Harry glances at her and flashes a small smile. He thought having Ryan here would make him feel more comfortable but there was only one thought that was processing in his head as they walked the stoned pathway.

This engagement made him feel ten thousand times much worse knowing his in-law family wouldn’t be Ryan’s because the truth is there wouldn’t be anything much better than to have Y/N and Ryan’s parents as his too.

“Hi.” Carla approaches them with a warm smile on her face. The nude slim dress was impressive on her, especially as it made the diamond on her finger stand out more. She casually wraps her arm around Harry's waist as she takes a sip of the mango smoothie in her other hand. Although the smile on her face seemed genuine, Y/N wanted nothing more than to punch the girl’s face. If Harry was a jealous asshole, Y/N was much worse. Keep it together Y/N, please you don’t care. You don’t care.

That was the whole idea for the night anyway. Y/N has barely spoken a word since her father parked the car on the side of the road. She was even the last one to exit the vehicle because in all honesty, she didn’t want to unbuckle her seatbelt. Now, She stands beside her dad once again, shying away from the hosts of the party. Although her mom made her feel beautiful today, there was nothing more than to stand in front of the prettiest girl who has constantly been chosen over her.

“Thank you guys for coming. I’m so happy to meet you all.” Carla smiles as she turns her attention on Harry. She was happy and excited about their future. This whole night felt like a fever dream. Once more she looks at Ryan’s family and speaks up. “There’s a table for your family and dinner will be served out soon. I hope you guys enjoy” She rests her head on her fiancé but notices Y/N staring at her heels. “Are you okay Y/N? You seem a bit off.” And that statement was coming from a concerned person who was genuinely curious if the acquainted junior she got to know this year was alright. Y/N gulps as she makes eye contact with Carla. She was also very careful not to look at Harry.

“Ignore her. She’s been like that for a couple of weeks.” Ryan laughs as he turns around and glances at his sister. “This is your night but I still am wondering why you guys are getting married next month.”

Carla awkwardly smiles and waits for Harry to respond first yet she notices his eyes stay focused on his best friend’s little sister. “We just thought we should get the wedding out of the way before university starts.” Carla squeezes his palm for him to reply to.

“Don’t worry Ryan. I’m sure we’ll do everything we planned to do.” Harry smirks as he turns his back around to the music that just started to play. “Let’s walk you guys to your table, I believe the party is just about to actually begin.”

Throughout the night, Y/N did nothing more than fake a smile and applaud as speakers came to the mic and talked about Carla and Harry’s relationship. Blah blah blah. It was the same old thing really, and if she had the choice deep inside, she would wish she was the one sitting beside Harry talking about other things.

Dessert was finally available and due to the lack of activities and entertainment this party has brought to her, she waited until the line died down before she could carry her plate towards the table. She internally sighed as some of the choices were gone, leaving her to pick up a red velvet cupcake and two french macaroons on the side. Once she arrived back to her seat, her family that stayed back continued to talk about the two lovebirds. Her father and Ryan seemed to be having an amusing conversation as her mother made a new friend from the table beside them. Compliments after compliments was the only topic tonight, she really needed to take a walk around the unfamiliar neighbourhood after this.

“Guys, I’m just going inside to use the bathroom.” Her mom nods and acknowledges Y/N’s statement before turning her back once more to talk to another attendee of the party. Grabbing her purse, she excuses herself from the table and shyly walks around the party and towards the sliding door. Once she’s inside the home however, she ignores all the signs that gesture her towards the bathroom and instead makes her way to the front door. Carla’s home was pretty but not enough for her to stay.

“That’s not the washroom.” Harry speaks out as he walks down the staircase re-adjusting the sleeves of his polo. She realized the navy blue blazer he was wearing earlier today was now resting on the ottoman by the end of the railing.

“I was actually going to go on a walk.” She fixes her gaze on the painting in front of her instead of the boy casually making his way down.

“It’s a bit late, d-don’t you think.” He scratches his nose and picks up the article of clothing on the chair. He couldn’t help but stutter as his eyes followed the pink dress on the pretty girl.

“The neighbourhood seems really nice and I’m sure none of the rich families here are going to kidnap me and lock me in their basement.”

“Here.” She notices him walk towards her offering his blazer. “I would invite myself to walk with you but uh I think people would notice.” He rubs his palm against his neck and looks back at the door where the party is.

“It’s okay.” She shakes her head as she rejects his considerate offer. She continues to unlock the door before looking back at him. “I’ll be back soon. Ryan and my parents think I’m in the washroom. So if they ask, just say you don’t know. Congratulations, by the way.” She gives him a sad smile and walks out the door. He’s left speechless as he finally realizes this might be the last time things will be normal between them. “Fuck it.” He murmurs to himself as he rests the blazer behind his back and walks out the front door as well.

“Why are you following me?’ Y/N turns around carefully as she crosses her arms over her chest to keep herself warm. She was also trying very hard not to fall. Harry’s been distracting her all night, she didn’t realize she was wearing heels despite her goal to go on a night walk.

“Because I can’t let you walk around this neighbourhood by yourself!” Harry raises his voice as he tries to catch up with her. “God, I told you, you would need this.” He thoughtlessly puts the blazers over her shoulders as they walk down the slope.

“I promise you, I am not your responsibility anymore. You don’t have to be concerned about my whereabouts.” Y/N murmurs as she accepts the fabric and hugs it around her frame. Harry couldn’t help but look away from her as he heard that statement. Before everything went crumbling down, he used to pick her up and know every update from her. He used to watch out for her and just be there for her but even now, it was no longer okay.

“Who’s going to watch over you when I’m gone.” His voice is a bit more quieter now as they exit Carla’s neighbourhood.

“I don’t know. I always expected you were going to stay.” She glances at him before walking ahead of him.

“I know you’re mad and I’m sorry I had to put you through a lot.” He pulls her wrist to make her stop walking.

“How can I not be mad, Harry?” She closes her eyes, trying to not let the new formed tears in her eyes show. “You constantly choose Carla and the moment you finally break up with her. I get you and then you what… ghost me, break up with me? I don’t hear from you for 2 months only to find out you’re engaged! Fuck you.” She quickly wipes away a tear from her face. “God, I- You cheated on me! Didn’t you?”

“Y/N.” His heart beat drops as her voice raises. Never in his life has he seen Y/N this upset.

“No. It makes sense. Carla is barely even showing yet. It’s been three months and you…” She steps away from him and looks around. “I don’t know -you didn’t even have the audacity to tell me you don’t like me anymore.”

“I didn’t know how to react when you told me that.”

“Well you did.. You ignored my calls and continued to see Ryan.” She shrugs her shoulders and sarcastically laughs. “It’s fine. Now that I think about it, maybe I said it in the heat of the moment.”

“I know I messed up.” He bites his lip and runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I reacted like that. Carla has always been so familiar to me… and with you, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.”

“Like what?” The monotone question rolls off the tip of her tongue.

“The fear I guess. I’m scared of losing Ryan, your family and um, you.” He clears his throat. “It’s just there’s so much on the line when it comes to you and me. Maybe if I tried harder, we wouldn’t be here right now but we are.”

“Well if it makes you feel better,” She takes a pause and stares directly at him. “I didn’t really mean what I said that day. You freaked out on something that was a typical post orgasm statement.” She lies.

“Why are you lying?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “Why are you trying to hurt me? You think this hasn’t been difficult enough.”

“No, I’m not lying. It’s true.” She attempts to walk again but his hand grabs her immediately letting her know, their conversation is not over.

“So you’re saying you don’t love me.”

“No, I don’t love you.”

“Bullshit!”

“Harry, I don’t even owe you an explanation!” and sometimes when you force yourself to lie too much, you begin to cry. “Fuck.” He immediately hugs her as she cries on his shoulder. “I don’t think we should do this.”

“I could never leave you alone, you know that right?” He whispers in her ear as he wraps his arms tighter around her frame.

“You have to. We can’t do this.” Y/N repeats herself as she tries to pull away. His scent is just so fucking intoxicating. It was his scent that made her drastically attached to him and now she knew like from the start, it was time to go.

“If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” He tries to keep her in his embrace. He was rambling at this point but he had no idea what his goal was. Is he trying to persuade her to stay or to let her go?

“You made your choices, Harry. All you have to do is lie in it.” She pulls away and wipes away her tears. “We’re just these high schoolers that found a loophole in our deal. Carla though, she has always been the one for you.”

“You’re right though. I- I guess I always choose her in the end.”

“Make her happy H.” She gives a sad smile and shrugs her shoulders. Despite wanting to punch her face, Y/N knew the look in her eyes as she watched Harry. Carla was always madly in love with him and forever will be.

Harry and Y/N were just a glitch in the system.

“I hope I see you again. Maybe Christmas huh?” He looks down at his shoes as the girl gives him back his blazer.

“Maybe Christmas.” And without a word, Y/N walks back to the house leaving Harry to walk around the neighbourhood himself.

Harry and Carla had just gotten married and on the night of their reception, they announced their pregnancy. Y/N was there. She witnessed the smile on Ryan’s face, on her parents’ face and on Harry’s. Everyone was happy except for her.

The night left her to play with the food on her plate as it was her only source of entertainment. Broccoli grouped with the carrots suddenly being grouped with the steak. How about we make a snowman? To be honest, moping a bit too much at the event left her clueless to the fact the groom has been watching her all night.

It wasn’t a choice for him. Of course, he looked at other guests and spoke to Carla throughout the night but for some reason as he mindlessly ate his food and restated his vows to his wife, Y/N was the only thing his eyes could focus on. He’s been looking for her face in every room for a year and to be exact, nothing about his feelings has changed -Except tonight was the last day, he would ever feel like this again.

There were only three rules Harry gave himself tonight.

Rule 1: Don’t try and make conversation with Y/N.

Rule 2: Don’t beat the guy who offers her a dance.

Last but not least, Rule 3: Don’t tell her you love her.

And it was a success because he watched her walk out with an unfamiliar guy and come back with a flushed neck and red cheeks. He knew she totally got fucked in the washroom and all he did was take a sip of his glass as the fist on his lap began to form once again.

It’s been a week since and her whole house is a mess. She has been currently helping her brother move his things to the moving truck they rented. Her little grieving process was cut short due to the fact, things around her started to change so quickly. Ryan was on his way out of here. Harry and Carla were probably on an island, trying to make another sub baby and Ness started to come by more often.

The thing about her best friend is that Nessa understands space but she won’t let Y/N peacefully sulk for more than a month. To successfully distract her, the duo have been taking road trips around the cities and visiting different campuses together. Although it was an old plan of her and Harry’s, Y/N couldn’t help but feel delighted to have Ness back once again.

She cleaned out her room and removed all her old soccer trophies because for some odd reason, they reminded her of Harry. She even went to the measures of blocking his number and deleting pictures from their past dates off her phone.

She knew she wasn’t ready to let him go but he was now married, living in a new city with his own family. There was no other choice but to forget this shit happened.

Senior year was just about to begin for Y/N and if there was one thing she needed, it was a fresh start. No love interests, no heartbreaks. Just fun experiences before she leaves this hell hole.

After all, if you never bleed, you’re never going to grow.

3 years later…

“You’re going to be fucking late.” Ness throws a pillow at her best friend as she enters the room. “You have that plane to catch.”

“Fuck, what time is it.” Y/N murmurs as she could feel some drool on her pillow case.

“10:30.”

“Fuck!” She sits up immediately and grabs her phone. Her flight is leaving in an hour and God knows the traffic in Seattle. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!”

“Because your lazy ass wouldn’t wake up.” Ness walks out of the room and drinks her coffee. She was totally unfazed about her best friend panicking. “Relax.” Y/N gives her a death glare in return as she brushes her teeth in the kitchen. The two were very used to each other since they’ve not only been best friends for a long time but also roommates after moving to a new city.

“My brother’s wedding is in two days and I’m not even there yet.”

“Tell Ryan to choke for not inviting me, by the way.” Ness scrolls though the news feed on her phone as she casually bites into her bagel.

“Okay, I think I have everything.” Y/N walks out of her room in tights and an oversized sweater. “I really have to go.”

“You’re going to see him again, you know that right?” Ness really didn’t want to be the one to bring him up again but shit, Y/N looked like a dead zombie.

“It’s fine.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders. She couldn’t care less if she sees Harry again. “The last time I saw him, Carla and him were acting like total love birds at my mom and dad’s thanksgiving party.”

“That was like two years ago.” Ness tries to contain her laugh as she remembers their new pet names. Honey bunny and sweet treat. Oh to be in the honeymoon phase once again.

“Don’t think I forgot what you used to call Tom.” Y/N laughs as she rolls her luggage to the door.

“Shut up.” Nessa’s eyes widen as she throws a crumb at her. “That’s why I broke up with him.”

“Yeah, yeah. You better answer my call okay?”

“Yes babe, I know. I love you, take care!”

“Bye!”

And after the long haul of successfully boarding the plane, Y/N had five hours before she could finally see Ryan and his soon to be bride in Boston.

She was definitely nervous. The last wedding she attended was Harry’s and she knew full well how she badly coped with that. Not to mention how she calculated her schedule so she could “accidently” miss Ryan’s engagement party. Truth is, she doesn’t care about Harry but if there was any way she could try and dodge another awkward encounter...that’s what living in another city is for.

He also wasn’t really an ex but just a person in her life who managed to make her happy and sad at the same time. James had no idea who he was since she believed it was best to make that portion of her adolescence a secret. Just buried along with the other dreams she used to have.

After watching two movies and playing a random phone game, the plane finally landed. Y/N managed to brush her teeth and make herself look a bit more presentable after a heated run out of her apartment. Once she was at the pick up centre to grab her luggage, her heart beat began to increase signaling that she failed to neutralize her anxiety. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she walked past the crowd of people. There was a constant voice in her head screaming at her to tell Ryan her flight just got cancelled. Unfortunately, Ryan was on time as she could picture his figure right outside the window of the airport.

“Hey.” Ryan smiles as he gives his little sister a hug. He saw her a couple months ago but time still makes everything different. He’s happy his sister is finally here.

“Hi.” Y/N tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as the wind blows by them. “I see you got a nice haircut.”

“I did.” Ryan laughs as he carries his sister’s suitcase into his trunk.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married Ry! I swear to god, it was only yesterday you were complaining to Harry about his wedding.” Y/N squints her eyes due to the sun shining directly at her. She uses her hand to cover the side of her face as she lets out a joke,“Are you sure about her?”

“Meghan? Absolutely.” Ryan shuts the door as they stand there. “ I didn’t know what Haz was talking about when he told me he wanted to marry Carla but shit, when I met Meghan… I-”

“You’re whipped more than ever.” She smiles as she notices her brother’s cheeks flush. She tried to change the topic immediately after her brother said his name. “I knew Cassidy wasn’t the one.”

“Sure you did.” Ryan rolls his eyes as they sit in his car. “How about you? Any new updates?”

“No not really.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders as she puts on her seatbelt. “James and I have been together for a year now which is crazy-”

“I wish the guy could have come to the wedding, didn’t know how serious you guys were.”

“Honestly, if he didn’t have that internship at the hospital, I would’ve tried and persuaded him some more.”

“It’s okay.” Ryan laughs as he shakes his head. “Meghan found you a date already and I’m sure you’re going to be okay with it.” Y/N eyes widen.

“I was going to go stag.” She looks out the window in disbelief. It wasn’t her fault, her boyfriend was trying to get into medical school.

“Don’t worry sis. It’s a platonic date -that’s all it is going to be.” Ryan reassures her as he drives out of the parking lot.

“Let me tell James. Just in case, he might get jealous.” She pulls out her phone. “Who is this guy anyway?”

“I’m not telling you but who knows, James might fly over here just so you don’t go with a random guy.” Ryan smirks as he exits the highway.

“Who is he?”

“It’s a surprise.” Ryan tries to hide his laugh.

“Does he know you’re setting me up with him.”

“Please.” Her brother scoffs. “The guy is always too nice, he offered first.”

“Well, shit then.”

“You’ll get to know him before the wedding I promise. At least, you have company other than mom and dad.”

“So you’re going to let a random guy just sit at our table?”

“You have no idea.” And truth be told, Y/N wasn’t worried about the date Ryan and Meghan set up for her. Maybe it was one of Meghan’s family members who thought she was still single. It didn’t matter though because this event was for her brother and that’s all that was important.

“Oh my god!” Ryan and Y/N’s mother stood outside the house waiting at the driveway for them to arrive.

“Hi mom!” Y/N gives her a warm hug. “I missed you, where’s dad?”

“He’s inside with-”

“Y/N.” Y/N’s dad steps through the doorframe and meets Y/N at the steps for a hug as well. She knew her father couldn’t walk that much due to his recent hip surgery. What she didn't expect however, was for Harry to be following right behind him. “I missed you darling.”

“Hi dad I missed you more, I didn’t know Harry was here.” Y/N backs away and turns her back to look at Ryan. He didn’t seem surprised at all as he carried her luggage towards them.

“Hey.” Harry offers a small wave, seeming too quiet. He kept his hands behind his back as he observed the girl in front of him. It’s been two years and a lot has changed. Y/N thought he would still have his long hair yet it is very evident, he had a haircut as well. He also seemed much more muscular as well as the new addition of tattoos on his arm. While she stared at him, she didn’t realize Harry was noticing all the different features she had too. Her hair was longer and darker and she carried a different aura than before. She didn't look like the girl whose bedroom he used to sneak into.

“Hi Harry.” Y/N didn’t know how to start a conversation with him.

“I guess you met your date.” Ryan walks ahead of them and laughs as he continues to bring in the bags.

“Harry's my date?” Y/N asks in shock as she follows him behind. Her mom slaps her arm as Harry and their dad follow.

“Don’t act offended, You’ve known Harry since you were a kid.”

“Aren’t you married though.” Y/N turns her back and looks at Harry before facing the front again as she suddenly became distracted by the house’s decorations.

“I actually got divorced.” Harry bites his tongue right after.

“See, now look what you did. You embarrassed the young boy.” Y/N’s mom rubs his back as she murmurs to him. “I’m sorry, Haz.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” He shakes his head, trying to act as if the topic didn’t make him feel uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry too.” Y/N finally looks at him once more. “I had no idea.”

“It’s been a year. That’s what happens when you marry too young.” He laughed it off but everyone ignored that statement as they all knew there was a deeper cut in his heart.

When Carla was around 5 months, she had a miscarriage and although, they claimed they would try again… there was no new announcement after that.

“Y/N, this is your room.” Ryan tries to change the topic as he scratches his head.

“Thank you.” She steps inside for a bit of privacy after a long flight. Ryan and Harry along with her parents went back to the living room to go and continue their movie.

Today is Ryan’s wedding and the house was giving her many little flashbacks of Harry’s. The family was in this foreign home and was still running around getting ready. Her mother was screaming at her dad as he decided last minute to steam his suit. Ryan and Meghan were gone which left Harry and Y/N the only victims to her mother’s loudness. The two kept quiet as her mother ran around the house doing her hair and calling relatives for updates. Y/N managed to be ready on time so it let her sit on the couch looking at the photos in which mehgan has framed around the room.

“Your dad said I should drive you to the venue now. I think they’re definitely running late.” Harry speaks up after two days of ignoring her. The truth is last night when he went to the kitchen he saw Y/N sitting down on one of the counters and maybe if it was three years ago, he would’ve spoken to her but something about now told him to go back to his bedroom. He used to feel comfortable around her but now he’s walking around her as if he was on eggshells. He was so fucking nervous.

“Okay.” She agrees with him. Harry was the best man and she didn’t want him to be late because of her parents. Y/N puts her phone in the purse resting on her shoulder as she follows him out of the house. She would’ve been a bit more calm if she didn’t end her call with James midway through their fight.

“Um A-Are you okay?” He opens the door for her as he tries not to check her out. It was definitely difficult however as the way her long hair was styled and the pretty dress she wore. Luckily for Y/N, while Harry was doing some errands at home, she managed to “observe” him in his suit.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She lets out a small smile as she realizes Harry was still driving his car back from high school. You know the vehicle they had sex i-

“Alright.” The man breaks her out of the thought as he starts the car. “I promise tonight isn’t going to be weird around us.”

“Who said it was?”

“I don’t know I guess I just assumed.” He bites his cheek as he glances at her. That’s when the déjà vu hits and he feels like he’s eighteen years old again. She keeps her eyes on the road yet she had no idea that Harry was picturing her seventeen year old self sitting in the seat beside him. One of his favourite memories to be exact.

Flashback*

“So you’re kidnapping me to go camping in the woods.” Y/N smiles as she watches the unfamiliar road in front of them. Harry takes his shades off and passes it to the girl as he notices the sun is shining much more brighter than before.

“Hey, you got permission from your parents.” He smirks at her as he keeps his hand on the gear stick.

“They think I’m sleeping over at Nessa’s.” Y/N laughs as she puts on the shades and looks at him. His cheeks turn red as he catches the sight of the pretty girl wearing everything of his.

“Is little Y/N scared of the dark?” His hand smoothly travels to her thigh.

“I am not.” Y/N chokes on her breath. It was bad enough Harry looked so hot whilst he was driving.

“I think you are.” He notices her breathing becoming a bit more short. “You and me in a tent alone in the dark.” His hand goes a bit more south, gipping her inner thigh.

“I have a surprise for you.” She blurts out. She was also seconds close to making Harry pull over to the side of the road.

“And what is that?”

“I’ve been wearing a plug and I’m ready.” The speed of the car increases a bit as he mindlessly presses his foot to the sound of her voice. He looks at her one more time before taking over the car in front of them.

“Fuck then. My baby once again proves that she isn’t as innocent as I thought.”

End of flashback*

The venue was beautiful. Ryan and Meghan chose this beautiful garden that had tulips growing everywhere. The white gazebo was obviously where the wedding would take place as the reception was only a stoned pathway ahead. Since Harry was the best man and Y/N was his date, she managed to follow him around the place as he spoke to the event planner and the maid of honour. She had a whole tour of the location as Harry spoke about the party’s process to her. Not only that, but he was an amazing date -he kept his hand on her back and introduced her to people she didn’t know.

Currently, she was sitting on the bench watching Harry talk to some familiar faces. They seemed like a few boys Ryan and he would hang out with back in high school. She was mindlessly watching him laugh and smile throughout the conversation until she didn’t realize he was already staring at her. After excusing himself, he walked back towards her.

“I’m sorry, If I’m boring yeh.” Harry rubs his neck as he sits down beside her. The wedding was about to start in a couple of hours.

“No, you’re not.” Y/N laughs as she keeps her eyes on the lake behind him. She suddenly remembers their camping trip. She shakes her head at the thought and shrugs her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“About the wedding?” He pulls down the sleeves of his dark grey suit. She nods her head and waits for him to continue. “I’m happy Ryan is marrying Meghan. It’s funny how he thought he would stay single for long.”

“I remember him telling you that when you were engaged.” She bites the inside of her cheek. She definitely just put her foot in her mouth again. She was definitely known for that but Harry didn’t seem fazed at all about her statement.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, Weddings are a bit difficult to attend at the moment just because I know mine didn’t end well but um…” He clears his throat and faces himself more towards her. “I also got married knowing I wasn’t really in love with the girl.” Y/N finally looks at him as she watches the familiar green eyes say the truth.

“I know.” She nods her head again. “Things are different now and I hope you do find the girl that you are 100% about.”

“Yeah.” He looks at the patch of flowers in front of them. He would tell her what he thinks but he knows she’s dating someone.

“Let’s go check out your brother.” Harry stands up and offers his hand out. “I’m sure he’s wondering where we are.”

And so the event continued. Y/N’s parents arrived and so did the other guests. The beautiful girl in her wedding dress walked down the aisle and Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off the girl sitting in the crowd.

It was simple for him, he knows he’s not over her but he wouldn’t tell her that.

Would he tell her that he started coming home more after Carla’s miscarriage in hope of seeing her? No.

He definitely can’t tell her that he was hurt. He would come over to their house only to find out she wasn’t home or when he found out she was moving to Seattle for college.

After the past two years, Ryan briefly mentions her and James and he felt like he no longer had a chance. At least with her.

So standing beside Ryan as his best man felt like a total shot in the heart because Harry knew he wasted his time and lost the girl as well.

Y/N catches his eyes watching her and just for a moment, she wished things were different too.

When the reception started, Harry and Y/N along with her parents sat at one of the tables close to the bride and groom

The hosts were right however, as Harry fit perfectly with the family. Throughout dinner, he made jokes and started conversing with her parents more than she thought. Although he gave her some attention, he didn’t fail to compliment her mother as well.

The two sat together eating dessert as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. “I’ll let you have a bite out of my brownie if I can steal a bite from your cake.” Harry smirks as he takes a sip of his glass of tequila. He wasn’t trying to get drunk but a little strong (strong) alcohol should cause no harm. Y/N casually steals the glass from his hand and takes a sip as well.

The two were finally much more comfortable with each other after spending the day side by side. Harry laughs as he takes his fork and steals a bite of her cake. The red velvet flavour melting in his mouth as he watches the girl swallow the rest of his drink.

“Sorry, I’m a bit quenched.” Y/N laughs as she puts the glass down and stabs her fork back into her cake. His fork immediately swats hers away.

“I’m not done with my bite.” He teases her as he pulls the small plate towards him. Y/N mouth drops.

“You guys fight like children.” Her dad speaks up and smiles at the scene in front of them.

“He asked to steal a bite but he stole the whole plate.” She laughs as she watches him shove numerous tiny bites in his mouth. Y/N mom laughs as she smiles at the cheeky boy.

“I said you can have some of my brownie but you proceed to finish my drink.”

“You seem a little drunk anyway.” She lies as she leans forward to take the brownie from his plate.

“Want some shots.” Harry blurts out as he finishes the dessert. “You finished my drink so I’m heading back to the bar… you still might be a bit quenched.”

“Okay.” She laughs as the two excuse themselves from the table.

“Do you remember the scrunchie on my wrist and you called me out on it.” Harry slowly dances with Y/N as the night continues on. The event was almost over but all the attendees were on the dance floor dancing to Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. As a proper stellar date, Harry didn’t hesitate to ask the girl for a dance as he knew last time he missed out.

“I know you stole it.” Y/N laughs as she unconsciously rests her head on his shoulder. The truth is when in doubt, Y/N always drinks a bit more than usual. It seems whenever Harry is around, she can’t help but be drunk.

“Oh really?” He pulls away and laughs. “I was going to tell you an old story but you already know.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she looks at the people surrounding them. Nobody was shocked to see how close they were dancing. Everyone was in their own little bubble and maybe if Y/N and Harry didn’t break the ice or drink a bit, they would definitely not be as bold as they are right now.

“No! You have to tell me now.” Her eyes widen as she readjusts her hands on her shoulders. Harry smirked at her anticipation as he willingly rests his hands back on her waist.

“It was the first night we made the deal.” He whispers quietly hoping no one would hear them. “It was on your vanity and I took it after you sleepily threw my clothes at me.” They both laugh at the old memory.

“I saw you wearing it during the game.”

“So did you always watch me back then? Probably just wanted to get into my pants.” Y/N cheeks flush as she hides her face away from him.

“You’re acting as if I never caught you staring right back at me.”

“True.” he twirls her around. “Couldn’t keep my eyes off you after that deal you offered.” Y/N immediately pulls away after he hears the statement roll of his tongue.

“Harry, I know tonight has probably been the most normal conversation we had with each other but… We can’t go back there.” She walks off the dance floor, making him follow her without hesitation. Instead of going back to their table however, she makes a b line to the unlighted pathway of the garden.

“Hey, don’t go. I’m sorry I ruined the moment.” He unbuttons the top of his vest seeing his blazer was still on his chair. “I spoke about fight club-”

“You remember that?” Y/N slows down her speed and turns around. “It’s been three years and you still remember it?”

“Why don’t you?” Harry turns his back around to notice the bushes covering them from the rest of the party.

“Of course I do but you got married and moved away. I just thought that would slip your mind.”

“Well it didn’t.” He musters up a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. “Look, can we go back to the party and pretend I didn’t mess this up.”

“It’s not about you messing up H. It’s the fact that I still get flashbacks of you and I -and seeing you here again is making me feel like the past three years didn’t happen.”

“I didn’t see you during Christmas.” He blurts out as he watches her sigh. “Any holiday except thanksgiving to be exact.”

“Well, I moved to Seattle and couldn’t book a flight home every time of the year.”

“Carla is dating someone new.” Y/N nods her head. “And I’m still not able to get you out of my head.”

“You might just ghost me next time around.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh as she tries her best not to trip over herself as she walks a bit further into the pathway.

“I told you I regret doing that.” He continues to follow her. “It’s been three years and you’re still mad about it.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just saying whenever it’s you and I, you tend to ghost me and run back to Carla.”

“If it makes you feel better, I could give a fuck less what Ryan thinks of us. It’s why I asked him if I could be your date.”

“I have a boyfriend Harry! An actual boyfriend who waits for me after work everyday. A boyfriend who actually replies to my calls-”

“He hasn’t even met Ryan or your parents!”

“And-”

“Look Y/N, all I’m saying is I don’t care about this fucking guy!” Harry sternly walks towards her until he backs her up to a wall of vines.

“Then why are you trying to talk about our old memories and shit like that.”

“Because,” He pauses as he thoughtlessly rests his hands on either side of her head. “I fucking care about you. The moment Carla had a miscarriage and she needed me the most, I needed you! I didn’t realize I let you go the moment I went back to her.”

“Harry…”

“So it’s true, you didn’t love me.” He pulls away but Y/N brings her hands up to his face to keep his eyes on her.

“Of course, I did.” Y/N cries as she shakes her head in disbelief. “Why would you think that would be true? You called me out on it before.”

“I came back every couple of months hoping to see you at home with your parents. You were always gone.”

“Did you actually?”

“Fuck.” He pulls away and runs his hand through his short hair. He swore he would never tell her this. Is this how desperate he is now. “Yeah, of course I did. I knew you would leave for college but I wish I knew from you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not even your fault.” He laughs as he hugs her. “I want you back.” His arms wrap around her much more tightly than before. “Please.”

“James-”

“Do you love him?”

“Harry, don’t ask that?”

“No, I want to know.”

“Well I don’t know because after what you did-”

“Then you still love me.” He looks up at her in hope she would say yes. Just admit it, please.

“Okay and if I do -what do I do now? I like James and although it hasn’t been long I’m sure something will change.”

“Can’t you see?” He directs her back to the wall of vines. “You were always mine the same way, I was always yours.”

“The loophole of our deal.” She mumbles out loud as her hands mindlessly hold onto his forearms.

“The deal has always meant more to me than it should’ve.” He whispers as the sound of music and distant chatter is the only thing they can hear.

And I want to tell you everything

The words I never got to say the first time around

And I remember everything

From when we were the children playing in this fairground

Wish I was there with you now

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you

“Just kiss me already.” Y/N watches him as she lets out one more breath. Without hesitation he kisses her as the grip on her waist tightens. Y/N’s hands immediately play with the curls that reach the nape of his neck.

“Fuck, I missed you.” His soft lips rub on her left cheeks as he rubs himself on her. His hands begin to wonder in disbelief that she’s in his arms again. Her scent clouding his thoughts that they haven’t even noticed they’re still at a party.

“I want you.” Her hips raise itself on him as she rests her back on the cement behind her. “Harry, please.”

“We’re going home.” He bites his lip as his eyes darken. Without even thinking of what others would say, he mindlessly holds her hand as they walk out of the secluded space. The two didn’t bother telling anyone they were leaving the party as he basically dragged the poor girl to his car.

“Do you even know how to get inside Ryan’s house.” She giggles as she keeps herself close to his arm. He takes his blazer and rests it on her shoulders back like a few years ago.

“I have my ways.” He smirks as he helps her inside the vehicle.

This whole event felt like déjà vu. The wedding, the car ride, the quick secret escape from a party just to have sex. If there was one thing Y/N and Harry were good at, it’s probably how good they were at keeping themselves as a secret.

“I’ve missed you more than I thought.” Y/N bites her lip as she rests her head on the seat, watching Harry drive.

Him in his suit too focused on driving them home made her want to fuck his brains out. Truly.

Harry’s cheeks flush as he takes her hand into his. “I’m no longer that frat boy you used to know. I’m much nicer.”

“Oh really, in what ways?” she smirks as she eyes the growing bulge in his pants.

“I promise you won’t be able to leave my room tonight that’s for sure.”

“Then I’m happy.”

Moist air, dark night, and bodies clinging to each other as Harry struggled to open the front door. As the groom’s best friend, of course he had keys to his house. Y/N couldn’t help but keep her hands on his slim torso as there was something about just holding them that was driving her crazy.

“Fuck, your parents are going to wonder where we are.”

“I don’t fucking care.” Y/N licks the side of his neck before running inside. She’s trying to laugh quietly as she attempts to take off her heels. Harry being the responsible one, he texts Y/N’s dad they went home. Afterwards, he stops by Y/N’s room to lock it before he follows the girl into his room.

Once he locks the door, he realizes Y/N managed to take all her clothes off as she laid on his bed. “For fuck’s sake.” He mumbles to himself as he forgot how horny and crazy Y/N can be. He rubs the slight stubble on his chin as he watches the girl bite her lip and roll in his sheets. “You’re such a little devil aren’t you?”

“Like I said I missed you.” She fakes her confidence as Harry crawls up to meet her on the mattress. His finger takes the lip out between her teeth as his lips move forward to kiss her once again. His goal was to lay her down and kiss her naked body but it seemed like Y/N had other plans in mind. Her arms push him away as she kneels on the mattress. Keeping her eyes on him, she unbuttons the rest of his vest before spreading her palms over where his heart beat. Harry is speechless but the moment she began to unbuckle his belt he had to say something.

“Oh I see.” He smiles as his hand holds Y/N’s chin to his face. “I thought my girl really did miss me but it seems like she missed my dick a bit more huh? You want it?” He grips her face a bit harder as her hands maintain on his waistline. She nods shyly as she tries to continue her action.

“Fine, do what you want but I’m not done with you yet.” His voice softens as his hand immediately brushes the soft hair away from her face. His green eyes watch her drool over him as she unzips his pants. His hands on the flip side continued to remove the white long sleeve off his body. “Take it in your mouth. I know you’re dying too baby.” Y/N cheeks turn red as her tongue peaks out to kiss his hard cock. The funny thing is, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him despite being a horny mess. Sex was never the same if it wasn’t with harry and that was a fact because the moment she put him in her mouth, he pushed himself harder until he could feel the back of her throat.

The constant humming and gagging sounds wasn’t enough for him because the moment he pulled himself out of her little wet hole. He pulls her hair harder to keep her eyes on him. Without even hesitating, he spits in her mouth and puts his dick back in. From the way Y/N’s eyes rolled back, he knew full well that this was his girl and some things don’t change...especially the way she reacts to him.

“Are you going to let me fuck your mouth baby?” He moans quietly as he softly strokes her scalp. “How many times are you going to make me cum huh?” Y/N chokes a bit as he thrusts himself at a faster rate. “Always so pretty aren’t you dove?” He pulls himself out and slaps her tit. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers as kisses her lips once more. His mouth thoughtlessly kisses down the side of her neck as his hands press and grope on her tits.

“I want you everywhere.” His eyes watch her dilated ones as he slowly pushes her down the mattress.

“Hm, I don’t think you want to as much I thought?” He teases her as one of his fingers pops into his mouth and later into hers.

“You want me to beg?” Her tongue swirls around his digit as she lays helplessly on his pillows. “Never.”

“Never?” Harry laughs as his wet fingers pretended to walk down her body to her heated centre. “When did my baby become such a brat?” The devious smirk plays on his face as his tongue licks the side of his mouth.

“I’ve always been a brat.”

“Oh, so you don’t want me to fuck you is that what you’re saying?” His hands immediately stop teasing her as he begins to jerk himself off -slowly but surely.

“I do.” She tries to sit up but his hand pushes her back down immediately. “Harry, please?”

“Is that you begging me?” He laughs as his thumb wipes a bead of precum on his dick. “I would rate that three out of ten, Extra point because good girls say please.”

“Baby...” Y/N moans out as she tries to reach for him but Harry’s hands immediately grabs them and places them above her head.

“Just beg a bit better and maybe you wouldn’t have to work so hard, love. You said it before so show me you want me.”

“Daddy please fuck me.”

“Like music to my ears.” He spreads her legs open and pushes himself inside her. “Fuck.” It’s always the condom that gets to him.

“No, stay.” She whines as she holds onto his wait. “Please, I’m on birth control and James and I don’t really-”

“What?” His eyes widen as he bites the inside of his cheek. “What did you say?”

“He’s an intern at this hospital so he’s just always been busy.” She whispers in embarrassment. Don’t get her wrong, she has sex just not as much as she thought she should.

“Fucking hell.” He mumbles as he thrusts himself a bit harder into her. “No one has taken care of you in a while huh?” He bends down and kisses her again. The soft wet licks stay longer as he hears the beat of her heart. It was beating fast just like his.

“Mhm. Please Harry just fuck me.” She cries out as she takes his fingers back into her mouth. His thrusts become harder and harder as he watches her face cry in pleasure. “Oh daddy, fuck.”

“So fucking good. You’re such an angel oh shit.” His palm immediately chokes her. He couldn’t help but watch how her tits move up and down due to the force he’s putting into her.

“Let me ride you.” Her hips thrust up and meet him. Her mouth opens wide at the feeling.

“You sure about? Sure you can still take me?” His hand gives her a little slap to the cheek.

“Of course I can.” Y/N smirks. Harry immediately pulls himself off her as he lays down on the mattress himself. “You think I’m going to let you fuck me all night long. I’ve been wanting to fuck your brains out.”

“Y/N,” He smirks as he watches her straddle him. “You think you can fuck my brains out? You seem pretty fucking confident, baby.” He flicks her nipple which makes her press herself deeper onto his dick.

“I can.” She closes her eyes as Harry watches the moonlight shine on her face.

“Yeah, then show me.” He slaps the side of her thigh more harder than before. “Fuck me. Just use me then.”

“Just promise I’ll be a good girl, daddy.” her hands slide down to his waist.

“Promise.” He bites his lip and watches their wet desperate centres meet.

And in that moment, there was nothing but lust in their eyes as they fucked back and forth. Y/N moaning as Harry continued slapping her ass. He couldn’t help but thrust his hips as well due the fact there was nothing better than feeling Y/N’s desperate pussy clenching for more.

“Go on all fours.” He cries out after a few more rounds. Y/N wasn’t lying since she definitely fucked his brain out. There was nothing on their minds other than jumping each other’s bones over and over again.

Once she’s in position, he slaps her ass once again before putting himself back in.

“Oh god, shit baby.” Y/N bites the end of his pillowcase as she keeps her hands on the headboard. “You’re so big, I can’t anymore fuck.”

“I know you have one more in you, come on baby.” He pulls her hair and slaps her ass once more.

“Fuck!” She moans out as she feels his wet spit travel down her pussy. Harry immediately thrusts harder as the sweat on his neck begins to bother him. His thrusts were becoming sloppy but he needed Y/N to cum one more time.

“God, fuck me.” Harry moans out as Y/N finally cums one more time around him. Without even thinking, he releases himself inside of her and pulls her hair harder one more time. She immediately falls down as she can’t feel a thing. Harry felt her clench around him despite his need to pull himself off her.

“Baby, you have to let go.” He kisses the back of her shoulder and grips the side of her waist.

“Please don’t go.” She cries out and wipes her tears on the pillowcase. Harry slowly pulls himself off and lays on the bed beside her. He puts himself back in and wipes her tears away. His arm pulls her closer to him as he whispers one more thing into her ear.

“I love you.”

“Glad to see you two are awake.” Y/N’s mom waits in the kitchen as she makes pancakes on the stove. “Ryan and Meghan left last night right after the reception.” She suspiciously keeps her eyes on the two as they walk together to the breakfast table. “Harry, thank you for leaving the door unlocked. We came home around one last night.” Oh shit did they hear us? Y/N looks at Harry who seems bothered as he takes a sip of the coffee in his mug.

“I didn’t hear you two.” She brings the plate to the table. “If you’re wondering Y/N.”

“Mom, it’s not what-” Her cheeks flush in an embarrassment.

“Oh please, don’t bother lying. I already lied, Harry was the one who opened the door for us.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “And Harry, don’t bother giving me an excuse. It makes sense.” She sits down with the two of them. “You always kept visiting us back home and the way your eyes watched her when she came here after her flight gave it all away.”

“Not to mention, you answering the door shirtless and Y/N not responding when we knocked on her door last night.” Y/N’s dad appears with a newspaper in hand.

“Does Ryan know?” Harry looks at Y/N and puts a pancake on her plate. Does her parents even know she’s wearing his clothes?

“Ryan saw you two leave together.” Y/N’s mom laughs. “Don’t worry, it was him and Meghan’s idea to also try and pair you guys together.”

“Wait so he’s okay with it.” Y/N speaks up after murmuring a thank you to Harry.

“Of course he is, Y/N. You guys are no longer teenagers right? So make your own choices for Christ’s sake.” Her mom states in disbelief.

“Did you know I’ve been seeing her back in high school?”

“Harry.” Y/N’s dad’s tone changed. Sounded a bit like disappointment.

“Oh god, there is more to the story?” Y/N’s mom rolls her eyes. “Alright, eat up everyone, you two have to tell us everything.”

“So this is it.” Y/N smiles as she sits in his car. The two were currently at the airport. “I had no idea, you relocated to Boston. It makes sense why you had so many things in your room back at Ryan’s house.”

“Yeah, I transferred last year. I’m hoping to finish here, graduate and then see what else I can do.”

“What do you think this means for us?” She puts her shades on as she pulls on the sleeves of her light sweater that she was wearing over her collared shirt.

“It means that this is when I ask you if you would please be my girlfriend.” Y/N’s cheeks flush and she hides her face in her hands.

“Are you for real?” She laughs.

“Yes.” He smirks as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel.

“I will be your girlfriend, Harry.”

“Good. You’re breaking up with James right.” Y/N rolls her eyes and nods.

“I’m ending it with him, the moment I land back in the city.”

“Make some space, I might move there.” He lightly jokes but there was some truth in it. Meghan and Ryan were married, there was no need for him to take up some space in their house.

“Sure, you’ll love Seattle and Ness is there too.”

“I like that. Will you introduce me to your ex?” Y/N laughs as she opens her door.

“No.” but right before she can get out, his hand pulls her back in for a kiss. Once their lips touch, he looks at her once again.

“I love you.” He genuinely states as he watches her eyes melt in happiness.

“I love you too.” She smiles and kisses him once more. “Bye, Harry.” She hugs him across the platform and kisses his cheek too. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more. Call me later tonight when you land yeh?”

“Okay.” She pouts. She had to catch a flight and be away from him for at least one more year.

“I love you okay, baby.” He kisses her forehead. “Bye.”

“Bye.” And with that, Y/N steps out of the car and watches him drive away. She has a plane to catch and he has some sheets to clean but that doesn't change the fact, they are finally together.

And everyone knows it.

Fini!

---------

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godofsexdrugsandrocknroll · 3 years

Text

On A Tropical Island

Jaune: Great. Just great. Now I’m lost and all my friends are missing too! I’m too angry to be depressed!

Neo: *Head pops out of the sand, spitting it everywhere*

Jaune: Oh, even better. Now I have company. This can’t possibly get any worse! *Ignores Neo glaring*

-----------------

Jaune: Stop following me! You’re a bad girl!

Neo: *Cocks eyebrow*

Jaune: *Blushes* Not what I meant! I mean you’re evil! And all you’ve done to help so far is poke me with a stick! *Is poked with a stick* Dammit, stop that!

Neo: *Pokes him in the butt instead*

Jaune: OW! That’s not what I meant you menace!

Neo: *Preens at being called a menace*

Jaune: And stop trying to be cute, too!

-----------------

Neo: *Tapping bare foot*

Jaune: Okay, so maybe my sense of direction isn’t the best. *gets The Look* Alright alright already, jeez. We’re back where we started, your shoes, your jacket and my armor are now forever lost to the wilds and it’s not my fault!

Neo: *Stares*

Jaune: *Shifts guiltily* Okay maybe it is, but if I had a map *Neo crosses her arms, reigniting The Look™ * we’d still probably be lost since the rest of team RNJR banned me from the map after reading it backwards and upside down.

Neo: *Nods firmly, taking the lead*

Jaune: For the fourth time.

Neo: *Turns, gapes in shock, shakes her head and grabs him by the hand*

Jaune: *Offended* Hey, I’m not a child! I won’t get lost!

Neo: *Looks at him through her eyelashes*

Jaune: *Sighs* Okay, fine. But only because getting lost in a weird jungle is way worse than getting lost in the grocery store at 14.

Neo: *Stops, removes belt, ties end around his wrist and grabs the other end*

Jaune: *Starts whining*

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Jaune: Dear diary *ignores Neo’s pointing and silent laughter* today is day 17 on the worst island to ever exist. Butthole and I -- OW, SHIT-FUCK-SHIT! I really hate that you sharpened your stick into a spear! Fine, Neo and I finally have a a good system in place for food. We’ve got our firepit, Neo turned my armor we found into a pan, one pot and a skillet, my impeccable home economics have saved our asses and we’ve got a spit for roasting things over the fire!

Neo: *Munches happily on roast rabbit*

Jaune: It’s really working out! Neo’s great at the spotting and tracking, I get to use the spear to hunt and there’s plenty of these really stupid semi-intelligent rabbits that seem to have a language of their own that are really good when you cook ‘em just right. *Pauses* I think they might have stolen my shirt though, I haven’t seen that thing in like four days.

Neo: *Mentally reminds herself to burn the eye candy’s shirt before he finds it*

-----------------

Day 28

Jaune: Ow, stop kicking me! I said I was sorry!

Neo: *Jumps on Jaune, bites his ear*

Jaune: AAAGGHH!!! Dammit Neo, how many times do I have to tell you not to bite me! It’s not my fault that seagull stole your hat! In case you hadn’t noticed, it stole Pyrrha’s sash too!

Neo: *Jumps off him, gestures emphatically*

Jaune: I know, you angry little troll! *Instead of attacking him again, Neo just stares at him sadly* I-I... *sighs* I know. I know. I really wanna kill that thing too. It’s...it’s all I had left of her too. All you had left of Torchwick. But we’re stuck here. We can’t find my friends and this island is huge.

Neo: *Nods unhappily*

Neo: *Jabs him with her stick spear*

Jaune: Yeah, we can kill any seagulls we see. *Neo blinks, considers trying to get her point across but nods*

-----------------

Day 49

Jaune: How do you set everything on fire! I told you we needed just enough to warm ourselves!

Neo: *Lunges at Jaune, leaves fire to burn*

Jaune: *Is strangled*

-----------------

Day 54

Neo: *Admires Jaune’s ass in jorts*

Jaune: I still don’t understand why you had to ruin my jeans. Tossing the boots into that bottomless pit, I get. My feet thank you. Uh, except when I keep stepping on sharp rocks and twigs. But really?

Neo: *Points at him, hand fans herself and panics, shaking her head rapidly*

Jaune: *Oblivious, insulted* Yeah, yeah, I’m sweaty! Fine, fuck having pant legs! I wanna get scratched and bitten by those weird little blue people again!

Neo: *Blinks, shakes her head in exasperation and relief*

-----------------

Day 59

Jaune: I can’t believe you committed genocide because those blue people stole your top! Neo, they just wanted a tent!

Neo: *Glares murderously at Jaune, covering her frilly pink and white bra with her hand and arm*

Jaune: *Gulps* I-I-I-I know! It’s upsetting, but murder isn’t always the answer!

Neo: *Uses free hand and makes bunny ears*

Jaune: Hey, those rabbits might be really stupid but they’re super mean spirited! One tried to drop a rock on my head and don’t you dare say it’d be an improvement!

Neo: *Startled, laughs*

Jaune: *Sheepish, laughs too*

Neo: *Continues laughing, eventually noticing Jaune has stopped and is red in the face, wide eyed*

Neo: *Notices she moved her arm and Jaune is staring at her chest*

Jaune: *Notices Neo’s glare and red face* W-wait, hold on a minute now, I didn’t mean to--

Neo: *Glomps, bites his nipple*

Jaune: *Girlish screams that can be heard for miles*

-----------------

Day 72

Jaune: No, put the berries down. You can’t just keep eating fruit all the time, you’re already very small and need to keep yourself healthy if you don’t wanna lie rotting as a corpse on this island forever.

Neo: *Grabs a huge handful of berries, shoves them in her mouth smugly*

Jaune: Dammit Neo, stop being so bratty! I’m only trying to help! *Grabs Rabbit jerky* Now do your body good, open your mouth and eat my meat!

Neo: *Gags, chokes, spits mushy berries out and kicks Jaune in the solar plexus for the phrasing*

Jaune: *Wheezing* I swear I didn’t mean to OH X-RAY AND VAV, SAVE ME!

Nearby Seagull: *Hearing the abyssal, shrieking screams of the Tall One, flies off in terror and decides to move the family nest*

Neo: *Biting, kicking, punching and pinching*

-----------------

Day 88

Jaune: I can hardly shave Neo, if you don’t remember my sword’s a jagged piece of sharp metal these days!

Neo: *Shows off shaved armpits, shows off shaved legs having long since created shorts from her capris and shows him a wooden knife*

Jaune: I should be concerned that you’ve created another stabby, but somehow -- GASP! *Actually gasps, clutches his beard* No! You wouldn’t!

Neo: *Grins*

Jaune: Please don’t, beloved friend of mine.

Neo: *Touched*

Jaune: What? We are. I mean sure you bite and attack me way more than most normal people do but you did save me from that rabbit mercenary group that tried to use a swinging log to splatter my brains against a tree. You might’ve been a bad guy once, but it’s nearly been three months and you’ve more than proven yourself. And I can’t really not call you a friend when I feel guilty about how I treated you.

Neo: *Smiles, undoes her bra*

Jaune: Wait, WHAT!? *Neo jumps on him and smiling happily, gives his cheek a kiss and starts shaving* WAIT NEO NO, THAT’S NOT FAIR YOU CAN’T USE BOOBIES AS A WEAPON LIKE THA- *Neo shakes her body side to side* -GGRRRGGG! That is so cruel. You’re the worst friend ever. I’m glad you have to sit on my ribs and not my lap because that would be even worse.

Neo: *Continues shaving*

-----------------

Day 146

Jaune: *Using his semblance* See, what’d I tell you? They get smarter! No way are those little demons gonna fall for the same trap twice.

Neo: *Lets Jaune heal the bloody bite marks from a rabbit, squirms*

Jaune: Stop it, you’re fine. *Kisses healed hand* Booboo be gone!

Neo: *Blushes brightly, stares wide eyed*

-----------------

Day 179

Neo: *Spinkicks boulder about to crush Jaune*

Jaune: Thanks Neo! *To a small, derpy looking anthropomorphic rabbit* Your wretched plan is foiled you vile creature from the deepest pits of hell! Now do me a favor and get stabbed!

Neo: *Spins away, clutching her beating heart as the sound of a vicious goring occurs*

Jaune: Another day, another dead rabbit! Oh look, there’s more! *Offers the Spear of Ultimate Stick to Neo* You wanna eviscerate the next couple?

Neo: *Wonders what this feeling is*

-----------------

Day 187

Jaune: *Gaping stupidly at Neo’s perfectly lit fire* W-wha? How!? Two months ago you lit my hair on fire *brushing hand through short, unstyled blondeness* but n-now...

Neo: *Smugly roasting bird meat*

Jaune: *Scoops Neo into a hug, spins the wide eyed mute* I understand how Dad felt when I finally learned to tie my shoes in the 6th grade now! I’m so proud, Neo! OW!

Neo: *Spits Jaune’s shoulder blood out, turns away blushing*

Jaune: Still proud. *Notices Neo blushing, deliberately not looking at him* Uh-oh. *Quietly, to himself* Oh no. I recognize this feeling. Ohhh shit. Okay, what the hell Jaune!? You see her boobs and you feel awkward about your boner for three days, but she looks all cute and embarrassed and that’s what does me in!? What kind of bullshit is this!?

Neo: *Oblivious, cupping her cheeks and cutely twisting back and forth*

-----------------

Day 219

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neo: *Silently screaming at the top of her lungs*

Jaune: OH MY GOD NEO WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO BIG!? *Looks fearfully back at a 12 foot tall, musclebound, derpy looking anthroporphic rabbit sprinting at them with rage in its unthinking eyes*

Neo: *Frantically mimes stabbing*

Jaune: NEO, WHAT THE FUCK, I THINK HE’S TOO SWOLE FOR HUSHABYE!!!

Neo: *Heart flutters at Jaune’s name for their spear*

Giant Rabbit: ▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!

Jaune: *Ears ringing*

Neo: *Points at Jaune’s crotch, mimes stabbing*

Jaune: *Pales* THAT’S PROBABLY THE MOST EVIL THOUGHT YOU’VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE! *Neo pouts, mimes it again* I’M JUST SAYING, NOT JUDGING, LET’S DO IT! *Uses semblance*

Neo: *Commits murder most foul*

Jaune: *Whips out the wooden knife* I’M SO SORRY FOR THIS, YOU OVERGROWN FREAK OF NATURE! *Jumps on the screaming body of the mutated rabbit, starts stabbing*

~~5 Minutes Later~~

Jaune: *Covered in blood, wipes forehead* Phew. Killing something this big really takes it out of you.

Neo: *Covered in blood, staring at Jaune wide eyed*

Jaune: Kind of a shame he looks basically human. Save for his stupid head, I guess, because I kinda don’t wanna eat anything that’ll make me feel too cannibally. *Puts hand on chin, blood drips* But I kinda think this is like the Final Boss of those rabbits. Maybe chop his head off and put on a pike like you did with that poor little blue guy that seemed to be the other blue people’s chief? *Nods resolutely* Yeah, gotta establish dominance and fear in those godless little fucks. *Looks at Neo* What do you think, NeeeMMMMPPPHHH!!!

Neo: *Glomps Jaune, shoves her tongue into his mouth*

-----------------

Day 237

Neo: Gakgh gakgh gakgh!

-----------------

Day 243

Jaune: Oh god, yeah, fuck yeah, you like that don’t you? *Grabs Neo’s hair*

Neo: *Likes that very much*

-----------------

Day 249

Jaune: *Waggles knife* So, uh, aim for the kidneys?

Neo: *Nods emphatically*

Jaune: Huh. I guess I’ll test it out on Cinder. Thanks honey. *Kisses cheek*

Neo: *Swoons*

-----------------

Day 251

Jaune: *Naked, washing grumpy Neo’s hair* I really mean it! I am so sorry. Just, well, uh...okay, you give amazing head and I wasn’t expecting you to go for the balls. Or, uh, the other thing, but well, um *sighs* look, the taint thing was just really unexpected and I’m really sorry I came in your hair! *Blushes*

Neo: *Can’t help but be proud, leans into his hands*

-----------------

Day 268

Jaune: Is there no end to your flexibility!? *Chokes on air* Nope. Guess not.

Neo: *Doing the splits smugly*

-----------------

Day 274

Jaune: And that is why, despite what people say, Immortal Konflict is superior to Road Combatant!

Neo: *Nods seriously*

Jaune: Wanna play when we get back to Remnant, maybe after we kill Salem in her sleep or something?

Neo: *Nods excitedly*

Jaune: You’re the best! *Kisses temple* Ow, why are you hitting me, I thought you liked kisses!?

Neo: *Liking forehead and temple kisses but not wanting to admit it*

-----------------

Day 296

Jaune: *Cumming inside*

Neo: *Toes curl, signing ‘I Love You’ over and over again*

Jaune: *Panting* God I love you too, Neo.

Neo: *Gapes, signs*

Jaune: *Panting decreases* Uh, yeah? My Dad has permanent hearing damage from his Huntsman days. Some chick had a mortar-giant cudgel-battering ram weapon and you can guess about how well that went.

Neo: *Signs more*

Jaune: I-- *realizes* ohhhh. I get it. Uh, I didn’t even think about it. You never signed so I figured you never learned. Ow, my ass!

Neo: *Stops pinching his ass, signs again but slower*

Jaune: *Blushes brightly* Um, yeah. I did. Is that-- *Neo flips him onto his back, kissing him and rocking her hips*

-----------------

Day 338

Jaune: *Contently holding Neo* This really was the last thing I expected to happen. *Neo nods as she leans into him* I...I don’t think I can ever really not miss Pyrrha, or despise Cinder from the bottom of my soul.

Neo: *Signs rapidly that she feels the same way, that she misses Roman*

Jaune: Yeah. I know. *Clears throat* But I think it’s okay. I mean I didn’t expect this to happen, but I’m glad it did. *Snuggling occurs* We’re gonna get out of here. We’re putting Cinder in the dirt. Then we’re gonna do the same to Salem. Then buy a house.

Neo: *Signs*

Jaune: I’ve kinda been a country boy my whole life. It’s up to you *is headbutted* OW! *Neo rubs the back of her aching head, signs, Jaune rubs his chin* Then it’s decided.

*Enjoying each others presence*

-----------------

Day 362

Weiss: Actually, the amount of slashes in the trees could just mean some new terrible creature of ridiculous origin could have made this area of the forest its stomping grounds.

Blake: *Flatly* As long it’s not the flying piranhas with steel teeth that drip acid, I’m fine.

Ruby: *Shudders* Please don’t remind me! I’m suppressing, Blake! Do you want to ruin fish sticks and mustard for me!?

Blake: *Grimaces* Yes.

Yang: *Ignores the bickering* Not gonna lie Weiss, after that giant crocodile with the crown and the cape and the penguin with the hammer, something a little more normal and horrific sounds just like home. *Adjusts cheetah print bikini, shifts hips under her grass skirt*

Weiss: *Eyebrow twitches* Right. Home. Which you clearly miss. *Eyes Yang’s flawless tan*

Yang: Huh? Well, yeah! Not to devalue the disaster we have waiting for us when we get back but I’m dying for a cheeseburger and a *in singsong* Strawberry Sunrise!

Ruby: *Cutting off Weiss and ignoring a fuming Blake* It could be Jaune though!

Weiss: Yes, possibly, but you have to consider the fact-- *Steps around tree, goes silent at the sounds*

Neo: *In a mating press clutching her feet, biting her lip and then silently moaning*

Jaune: *Going so hard he’s clapping Neo’s cheeks*

Weiss: --that maybe those living, spiny fruits got us again and we’re all on a very bad trip. *Can’t look away but wants to*

Ruby: *Blushes furiously*

Blake: *Covers nose, turns away*

Yang: I really wanna be there for our boy but *ignores Jaune’s cursing, Neo’s nodding and Jaune pushing in deep and creampieing the silently screaming mute* a really big part of me wants to punch him in his stupid face. Really!? Her!?

Blake: *Muffled* You sure you’re not just salty that it’s Neo?

Jaune: *Awkwardly, wide eyed but happy* Oh. Guys. Hey! Hi! *Weiss screeches as Jaune stands, Neo breathes heavily but grins smugly*

Yang: Nope. Not at all. *Clenching fist*

-----------------

Day 363

Yang: Okay. I’m cool with whole... *gestures at Neo and Jaune holding hands* thing, because honestly I’d have to be a condescending and arrogant bitch to look down on you because of that, but really?

Ruby: Yang has a point, little blue people and psychotic but also really stupid rabbits and their super-duper-strong Daddy Rabbit? And you killed them alllll oh wow. *Staring at something that Jaune pulled from a bag* That’s a weird looking skull. *Whispering* Why does he have a skull!? Oh no, Neo really did corrupt him and not just with that!

Yang: *Gapes, recovers slowly, sarcastically* She is such a good influence on you Jaune.

Jaune: *Grinning* I know, right? I mean imagine if Neo wasn’t here with me! I probably would’ve survived but I would’ve been so depressed that I’d probably be coming back eyeless and with a ton of PTSD! And maybe a quirky catchphrase!

Yang: Because that’s important. *Rolls eyes* Besides, you couldn’t pull off a catchphrase to save your life.

Jaune: *Face goes slack, contorts stupidly in a scream* BWAAAAH!

Team RWBY: *Jerks*

Neo: *Bites Jaune’s pinky*

Jaune: OW-OW-OW! Take a joke, Neo!

Yang: No, yeah, pretty much on the shrimp’s side.

Weiss: I have no idea what that was but never do it again.

Blake: *Forgives Jaune and Neo for their crusade against the rabbits*

Ruby: *Giggling at the derp face Jaune made*

Jaune: Fine, fine, you win. *Pouting* Using their war cry would have been so insulting to their memory though.

Neo: *Smiling, kisses Jaune’s cheek, signs that he’s a big baby*

Weiss: Getting back to the point though, we didn’t think Jaune would be in nearly as good shape as he’s in now. In that regard I feel we owe Neopolitan a good deal of gratitude.

Blake: And like it or not Yang, having her not just be an enemy of Salem but actually on our side?

Yang: Yeah, well--

Ruby: Plus he’s happy! And I think he kind of needs it. *Sadly* We all do. A-and if Neo is what makes him happy, then I think I’m happy too.

Jaune: *Touched* Rubes...

Ruby: It hurts, Jaune. But I can’t imagine...well, I can’t imagine if it were me. So it’ll take time but the best thing I can do here is be happy for you and get us outta here! *Pumps fist*

Neo: *Signs rapidly*

Jaune: *Grins* And make Cinder and Salem unalive! And in the days leading to that, make them wish they were already dead!

Ruby: *Uncomfortable at the bloodlust* Umm...

Yang: Ah fuck it, you speak my language like that and I can’t stay mad at you! Let’s do it! *Slaps Blake’s ass*

Blake: *Yelps, blushes and glares at Yang* Is this really the time for that!?

Weiss: *Rubbing the bridge of her nose with her eyes squeezed shut* Ah, the onset of a pounding headache. Truly the gang is back together again.

-----------------

Day 365

Jaune: Kinda conveniant that exactly one year after falling into the mythical island of who knows where we find ourselves back in the real world, isn’t it?

Neo: *Hand on her hip, staring at him*

Yang: I’m with the midget. *Grass skirt swishes* Are you really about to complain we’re free of that hellhole?

Weiss: They have a point. After everything we fought there you’d think you would be more appreciative.

Jaune: I am. It just seemmmmpph! *Is kissed by Neo*

Neo: *Happily shuts Jaune up*

Ruby: Alright, let’s do this!

*Action pose except Yang’s tan, in a cheetah fur bikini and a grass skirt, Jaune has a handful of Neo’s ass and Neo is grabbing Jaune by the hair, clearly using tongue and Hushabye is aimed in a slightly red faced Blake’s direction*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got the chance to see the RWBY finale today and rather than be depressed and think about Penny, I decided I’d go ahead and write a Silent Knight fic instead. It’s all over the place but really, that’s to be expected since I went in with no plan. I know people are already bitching over on Reddit about Jaune possibly getting attention, but like with most people who dislike a character I decided to pay them no mind whatsoever.

Because honestly, with Dragonslayer never happening I’d be perfectly fine with Jaune x Neo.

As for this entire thing, I had way more fun with it than I should have and I hope anyone reading it has just as much fun as I did writing it.

Oh. And yes, there were plenty of Rabbids and Smurfs harmed in the creation of this lengthy drabble.

#rwby #jaune arc #neopolitan #silent knight #jaune x neo #team rwby #rwby volume 8 finale #au #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'#shitpost

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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 4 years

Text

Please, Don’t Ever Leave Me

This is a happy birthday fanfic for @layschips12. Sorry that’s it’s late, I hope you like it.

Pairings: Analogical, Background Roceit, Background Queerplatonic Intruality

Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Bullying, Self Deprecation, Minor Panic Attack, Cursing, The Rest is Fluff.

This fanfic includes: Nb!Logan, Trans!Roman, Neopronouns!Janus (Ve/ver)

Word Count: 2,535

Virgil and Logan have known one another since they were 2. They met since their parents were friends with one another; they quickly became friends. They practically grew up together.

They were always there for one another. Virgil always helped Logan when they were stressed out, overwhelmed, having trouble with their emotions, forgetting to care for themselve, or struggling to be productive. He was there for Logan when in they’re last year of middle school, Logan was diagnosed with Major Depression.

Logan also tried their best to be there for Virgil. They stood up for him when others tried to pick on him. They helped him when he was having family issue. They helped Virgil when he had to go to crowded places or when he was scared/panicking. They were there for Virgil when he was diagnosed with Social Anxiety in their first year of high school.

Of course, when they couldn’t be there for one another they had their other friends to check on them.

They met Roman in 4th grade. Logan and Virgil where walking down the hall when they saw a group of 5-7 kids gather around a specific spot. At first they didn’t think anything of it, but when they got closer and heard someone crying; they quickly stopped walking. They turned to see that these kids were all making fun of a younger looking girl on the floor.

This small girl was a black haired Asian kid with dark brown eyes. Light freckles were peppered all along her warm ivory skin. She was relatively short and despite her skinny structure, you can tell she did some sort of exercise.

The second they realized that this group of kids were bullying this younger kid, they quickly intervened. However, they didn’t became friends with her until a couple week later, when the three of them were put in a group project together. A few years later they found out that Roman, was actually a transboy.

They met Remus at a sleepover in Roman’s house shortly after. However, for the longest time the two of them weren’t really close to Remus since despite being twins, Roman and Remus didn’t go to the same school. Due to Remus’ poor behavior he was put in a special school for difficult kids. They became a lot closer in college since Virgil and him ended up going to the same school.

Patton joined their little group in 6th grade when he transferred to their school half way through the school year. Patton was a tall, chubby, mexican kid with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. He was a huge social butterfly so he tried making friends with everyone. At first, Virgil didn’t like Patton one bit. But that changed when Patton helped him through an anxiety attack.

Finally, there was Janus who joined the group when ve started dating Roman. The two began to date in their junior year of High school. At first, ve didn’t really get along with the others but ve eventually got close to them.

~~~~~~~

Virgil began to have a crush on Logan in middle school. He loved how they were always so smart, kind, passionate, and understanding. He knew that no matter how much they were struggling, Logan would always be there for him. Sadly though, due to his Anxiety, he was afraid to act on these feelings. He didn’t want to lose his friendship with them, so he ignored them.

Of course, it wasn’t easy though. Apparently his little crush was very obvious since the others constantly teased him about it. They also claimed that Loan liked him back but he was hesitant to believe them.

So despite how much they pushed him to do it, Virgil refused to confess. But that only encouraged the others to try a different strategy.

Instead of trying to convince Virgil to confess, they would convince Logan. Thankfully for the group, after a few weeks of bothering them, they caved.

Roman, the self proclaimed love expert help set up the date. He had chosen a Saturday fall evening for Logan to confess on, since he claimed that it was the perfect weather and scenery. He told Logan the plan they had to follow for the day and send them off.

Logan walked to Virgil’s college dorm and knocked on the door. They were wearing a black suit with a blue shirt underneath and a blue tie.

Remus opens the door and smirks, “Virgin, your lover is here,” he calls out.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. No one else who visits us knocks!” Virgil walks to the door and blushes when he sees Logan.

Logan blushes as well. Virgil was wearing a a dark purple suit with a black shirt underneath and a black tie with a spider web design on it.

“Are you guys going to leave or are you just going to continue eye fucking one another?” Remus loudly cuts through their moment.

They both turn bright red and Virgil punches Remus in the arm, “Shut it! We’re going!”

Remus laughs as Virgil walks out of the dorm, taking Logan’s hand.

“I’ll be back later.”

“Okay Emo!” Remus waves before closing the door.

The date was going amazing. They started by going to watch a scary movie that had recently came out since Virgil wanted to watch it for a while now. Once the movie was over they took a walk in the park before eating at Virgil’s favorite restaurant. They ate some food and by the time they left it was dark outside.

“Today’s been amazing Lo. Thanks for taking me out.”

They nod, “Of course Virge. Before we go home can we go to one last place?”

“Sure,” Virgil smiles more, “Where do you wanna go?”

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to retain that information from you. I want it to be a surprise. Also it’s want to not wanna.”

Virgil laughs, “Alright, alright. Lead the way then.”

“Close your eyes.” They say with a soft smile

Virgil chuckles, “Alright then,” He closes his eyes

They begin to lead him to the last destination of their date. The place where they will confess.

“We’re here.” They say softly as they come to a stop.

Virgil slowly opens his eyes and he lets out a gasps. They were on top of a hill. On the hill were tons of beautiful flowers. What was the most breathtaking though, was the view of the night sky. You could see thousands of stars and the beautiful full moon.

Logan had to admit that Roman’s decision to take Virgil here was adequate and ingenious.

“Wow.” Virgil mumbles, dazed from the beauty in front of him.

Logan chuckles softly, “Do you like it? It’s beautiful, right?

He nods, “Yeah, I love it. Thanks for bringing me here Lo.”

Logan smiles softly, “Of course,” They take a deep breath, “I, actually brought you here so that I can tell you something.”

A sudden wave of anxiety hits Virgil. Endless worst case scenarios and toxic thoughts fill his head. Before he knows it, he’s hyperventilating and shaking. Tears blur his visions and he can’t even look at Logan.

Logan frowns softly and gently cups his lover’s cheek.

“Virgil, can you hear me?”

A small nods accompanied by heavy breathing and sobs is the answer they get but it was more then enough for them.

“Alright good. It’s okay, everything’s okay. Just focus on me, clear you head and breath. I’ve got you.”

They spoke in a soft calming voice, one that made Virgil’s head clear up a bit almost immediately. Logan holds him close, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and running him through a breathing exercise.

Eventually they manage to calm him down.

“S-sorry.... I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that...” Virgil mumbles quietly and ashamedly.

Logan shakes their head, “It’s okay Vee. You don’t have to apologize.”

“Okay,” Virgil caves quickly, “Well, what were you gonna say?”‘

Logan takes a deep breath before gently letting go of Virgil. They stand in font of him and holds his hands.

“Virgil, we’ve been friends for 17 years now and I cherish our friendship so much. However, I can’t help but be unsatisfied with our current relationship statues.”

A blush dusts Virgil’s cheeks, “What do you mean?”

They take a deep breath before continuing, “I have romantic feelings towards you Virgil. I have for a while and I was wondering if you would accept me as your romantic partner.”

For a second, Virgil can feel his stomach fill with butterflies and his heart pound out of his chest. He stays quiet for a few seconds, trying to make sure that what he just heard was real.

Once his brain fully comprehends the situation he threw himself into Logan’s arms and started crying.

“Yes! YES YES YES YES YES! A million times yes!”

Logan held him close and laughed, blushing and tearing up a bit, making a mental note to thank Roman tomorrow.

~~~~~~~

Logan and Virgil stayed together for the rest of college. They eventually moved in together when they were both 23 and they were happy. Yes, they had their arguments here and there but it never got too serious. They had a nice healthy relationship. They continued talking to their group of friends and life was well.

Virgil is now 27 and Logan is 28. He woke up in the morning to find that his significant other wasn’t there. He was a bit shocked but just assumed that they went off to work earlier like they did sometimes. He got up and started off his day.

He got a knock on his door at 12:00 which surprised him since he didn’t remember inviting anyone over. He gets up and walks to the door, opening it to see Remus and Patton.

“Oh, hey guys. What are you two doing here?” He asks, pleasantly surprised.

“We’re here to hang out with you emo!!” Remus announces loudly.

Patton laughs softly, “Yup!! Sorry for the suddenness but I got a day off work and Rem wanted to come visit you!”

Patton and Remus have been in a gueerplatonic relationship for a while now. They moved in together right next door to Roman and Janus, mostly cause the twins wanted to stay close to one another.

“It’s alright, but can I ask why?”

Remus lets himself in, dragging Patton in with him, “Cause we want to Virgin!”

“I hate that nickname,’ Virgil mumbles as he closes the door.

The day was going amazing. The three of them played some games, baked cookies, made lunch, watch some dramas, and even painted each others nails. It was 7 p.m when Remus received a message. He checked his pohne and then smiled brightly.

“Hey, Mr.Sunshine,” Remus called to Virgil.

“What?” Virgil turns to him.

“Let’s go out somewhere real quick.”

Virgil checks the time, “But it’s pretty late and besides I have to call Logan, he should have been home by now”

“Kiddo, come on! It’ll be quick! Besides, I’m pretty sure Logan is fine, he’s probably just decided to work a bit overtime.”

He thinks for a bit before giving in, “Fine. Who’s car are we taking?”

“Mine!” Remus says, taking out his keys, “Let’s go!”

They walk out of the house and get into Remus’ car.

The whole car ride Remus and Patton avoid any questions Virgil has, which infuriates the clueless kid.

They park in a parking lot near a hill that Virgil immediately recognized.

“Why are we here?” He asks cautious.

Remus stops the car and gets out, “Please just follow us. Everything will be explained soon.”

Patton also gets out and holds out a hand for Virgil. He hesitantly takes it and lets himself be taken out of the car and led to the hill.

When they make it to the top they stop walking.

“Hey, kiddo, we’re gonna go get something real quick, can you stay here?”

Virgil starts to fidget with his sleeve getting more and more anxious by the second.

“S-sure...” He mutters out weakly.

They both smile at him softly and reassuringly before walking off in the direction of the car.

To try and stay calm, Virgil looks at the starts, taking shaky deep breaths and continuing to fidget.

Minutes that feel like hours pass before suddenly, footsteps start approaching Virgil from behind. He immediately tuns around, alarmed. But to his surprise, he it’s Logan. They're wearing a nice suit, one that looks like Janus’ mom made. After all, such an intricate Victorian design can only come from the best designer in town.

As soon as Virgil recognizes Logan he calms down, blushing at how wonderful they look.

“Hey, love. You scared me,” Virgil says with a soft smile.

They return the smile, “Sorry, dearest. I actually have a question for you.”

“Oh? What is it?” Virgil suddenly feels anxious all over again. Afraid that they want to break up with him.

They take a deep breath and take out a small box from their pocket before getting down on one knee.

“You're the sun in my shine, The spark in my plug, The heart to my beat, The day to my night, The twinkle in my eye, The hot to my spicy, The yin to my yang, The soul to my mate.Need I say more? Now all I want to hear from you, Is to say, "I do."

“Virgil, will you marry me?”

Virgil can’t believe his eyes or ears. It this real? It has to be. He’s crying. He can feel the wind through his hair and the ground below his feet. He can see the stars light up the sky and the moon shine down on them. He could hear the quite clamor of the animals around them.

He nods, “YES!”

Now they’re both crying. Logan puts the ring on Virgil before standing up. They share a warm hug and a perfect kiss.

They stand there in each other's arms.

“Please, don’t ever leave me,” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s chest.

“I won’t. I promise,” Logan whispers softly, kissing his lover’s head gently.

Suddenly a loud cheer comes from a tree near them.

“IT WORKED! CONGRATS YOU TWO!” Roman rushed out from behind the tree, smiling brightly.

Logan gently lets go of Virgil and turns to their friend, “I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT YOU WOULD WAIT BACK IN THE HOUSE!”

The other sighs, “I know! But I couldn’t help myself!” He whines.

Janus suddenly comes out as well and grabs vis’ husbands hand.

“Sorry about him. I tried to hold him back but he somehow managed to escape my grip,” Ver explains, trying to tug Roman back to where they were before.

VIrgil sighs fondly, “It’s alright Jan. Anyway, are the others here too?”

Roman nods excitedly, “Yup! Rem! Pat! You two can come out!”

The two of them do so

“Hey, congrats Kiddos! I’m happy for you guys!” Patton says cheerfully.

The two of them blush and thank him.

“Welp! Let’s go home! We have a party to start!” The twins say at the same time.

And with that, they start making their way to Roman’s and Janus’ house.

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swiftythewriter · 4 years

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i have no one to talk to. i have no one. so, i am just here, venting and hoping that saying it outloud getting my thoughts in order will make it better.

my best friend wont talk to me, it’s been weeks and longer since she has reliably answered my messages. the two friends i’v managed to make in my conversion class aren’t talking to me either. just, stopped answering their phones all of a sudden. i don’t now what id did. i don’t know. did i do anything? and my grandma has just dismissed me as a lost cause since i was arguing with her, since i just wanted her to understand my perspective rather than jut go along with her decisions like always.

i have been trying so hard. not to give up. not to give up on me, on living. trying to live and get better. do the work. but how can i if everyne else has already given up. do they...do they just see me as a lost cause? am i? i’m trying, i swear i am, but am i?

what did i do? what should i do? how can i possibly fix any of it

i’ve been lying for a very long time saying that i have my life, my future under control, as if my dreams and ambitions i could will into existence. but i don’t. i don’t. gd i don’t. im nineteen going on twenty going on the rest of my life and i don’t have a diploma or a GED. i need to fix that, i want to fix that. but it’s so hard.

thing is, i stopped studying near completly around 6th grade. i was homeschooled. no one noticed for a very long time. and i have reasons for that, excuses. i never really expected to live past eighteen. never expected to have to deal with it. but i’m here now. trying to get everything back on track an i feel like i’m drowning under the weight of everything i do not know.

i took a test today for something called dyscalcuia. not an offical one, just an online thing but my score was still in the top percentials. and it makes sense. it makes a lot of sense. i was relieved. if it’s true, it means i’m not lazy or stupid and that my adversion and extreme anxiety whenever the subject comes up has a cause and a reason rather being a personality flaw. it goes hand and hand with dyslexia, too, which I have, and adhd, which i think i have.

but, um, mimi didn’t react that way when i told her. she thinks this is just another thing i found to put a road block to my actual studying. she’s like that, you know? when i say my depression or anxiety makes X task difficult or affects the way i approach it, she dees it as me saying i refuse to do X because i only think i’m can’t, that i’m frozen. so, she took that as another excuse in order not to do math.

and, uh, maybe it is? maybe i want a way out. because it hurts, sometimes. it just, doesn’t make sense. there’s logic, maybe, but it’s not the right kind of logic. there’s no feeing behind it, it’s not a person’s mind, it might as well be a machine. every other subject i am able to grasp some level of comprehension, of appication, but not this. it’s just cold.

mimi says it’s just memorization, that i just don’t want to do it, that i am the kind of person that jus gets too caught up on the abstract, on the why’s of everything that this causes me trouble because it would take forever for me to go through each problem and trace it back to it’s roots and history and i just have to focus on the memorization and i try but it’s so hard.

i remember being a kid and thinking that everytime math started to make some kind of sense i got the rug pulled out from under me and i’m still thinking that. i’m still here, staring at the numbers that don’t make sense, i’m still here and i’m falling.

i need to fix my life. i need to get a GED. to get a GED i need to do math, because that’s the part everone fails on, they say. mimi says not to focus on the other subjects even though i’m drowning under the weight of everything i don’t know. mimi says to focus only on the math, to focus on the exact problems they’re going to have on there. don’t go back to the basics even though i am drowning under the weight of everything i do not know, we don’t have time. you’ve wasted so much time. we’re running out of time. and i try, i try but i need.

youtube videos, unconnected, different instructor, the same lesson over and over in different words then skip ahead, no too far i don’t understand, go back we’ve done all this my brain slowing to a crawl. i scream i need structure, that i can’t keep going like this but it gets lost in the place between my throat and my teath, comes out in frustrated tears and mimi saying “i give up, it’s your life, do whatever you want.” only help i have gone, gone, gone an how can i fix it? don’t give me the world, it’s my world but don’t give me it, my hands aren’t steady enough i can’t keep it from breaking.

i need a GED. i need to go to college. i want to go to collage. i want to major in psycology, go to med school, become a psychiatrist. spend my live helping people because writing isn’t an option as a career and if i can’t spend my life doing what i love at the very least i want to spend it doing something i value. i’ve turned this over and over in my mind until the dream has become a sort of truth, but my hands are empty, i am alone and i don’t know how to fix it.

i always thought that, with the depression that hit that time of my life that staying in public school probably would’ve killed me with all the academic and social pressures. it’s one of the reason why i refused to attend the last year of highschool when i had a chance, even though i deeply regret that choice.

but i’m now wondering if the lack of structure in my life was part of my depression being so strong. i had no routine other than the one i created, no socialization, no reason to study because i lacked any reward systems for when i did get anything right and no oversight when i got it wrong. after age 11 didn’t even have a babysitter and i could just, do what i wanted becaue mimi was always at work and and i don’t think it was very healthy for me and that it left me with a lot a negative habbits to this day.

so, right now i’m guzzling a caffinated drink and waiting for my hands to stop shaking because i read somewhere that caffine helps adhd and even though it makes my anxiety and the symptions of my illness worse i despretly need the focus. and i’m hoping that hashem will help me in this, because i honestly don’t know the way out of it

#personal #vent #mental health

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anundefinedwoman · 5 years

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Lyrically Speaking

I love music. I think the older I’ve become the more transparent this has become for me. It’s always been a part of my life, but I remember during my childhood, college through part of my 30s, TV was where I would mostly lose myself . It was an escape. Of course there are iconic televisions series for me during my childhood, in college, or back in time that stand out. Certainly shows like The Walton’s, Eight is Enough, Little House on the Prairie, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, The Facts of Life, Family Ties, Growing Pains, Highway to Heaven, Dallas, Dynasty, 90210, A Different World, Friends and Melrose Place all stand out. Funny enough, even though I watched plenty of shows after college/ my very early 20s (Melrose, 90210, Friends), none really stand out for me like this. Maybe Everybody Loves Raymond, only for the fact that the dynamic in the marriage between Ray and Debra, is reminiscent of the dynamic in my own marriage.

I digress. The point is, sure these shows can evoke a memory or a general feeling for me. But they are all happy, fun memories. Even if my childhood and youth was filled with abuse and neglect. This was my escape. I don’t really remember much of the abuse or neglect. I feel its effects, but remember? No. Why would I subject myself to watching something weekly or daily if I didn’t get some sort of pleasure from it? The best memories are the ones where a group of us would gather collectively so we could watch with the anticipation as a room full of banshees shrieked and swooned over how hot Jake or Dylan was. Or screamed at the TV for Ross just to tell Rachel how he felt about her already because we were all in love with him!!! Or wondering who the fuck shot JR, and why Krystal and Alexis had such huge shoulder pads and fought like trashy twits? (Yes, Dallas & Dynasty came way before, I know.)

But music is different isn’t it? It doesn’t always evoke happy memories. Maybe for someone who had an ideally happy past it would, but for me it does not. I think it’s apparent by now from the television shows listed, I’m not a millennial. As a Gen X’er born right in the middle our of generation (1972), I think it’s safe to say I’ve reached middle age. As much as it pains me to say, I’m not the person who remembers everything anymore. Although I didn’t have all my past memories with me from the beginning due to trauma in childhood, the ones I do (did) have, I was the type that would not forget. Mommy brain turned into Man brain. Sorry guys, but we’ve heard the excuse thousands of times. “I forgot.” We would think, “Sure you did.”, and we would fucking remember that time you didn’t remember something again. Til it happens to us. I say to myself with a sense of humor this must be my form of in-this life-karma being served in a big slice of humble pie. But I’m smart or considerate enough to write things down, and have learned the hard way to back them up to the cloud so I don’t miss important appointments should my calendar crash. In all this talk about forgetting, I forget where I was going in another digression. Music. Songs. Getting old, yes...

I can hear a song from my childhood and it can take me back. I can immediately say 6th grade, 1984. I can probably still remember all the words to the songs too. I may be able to recall some happy memory, a memory in my room, hearing something...

When I was a kid after I had outgrown Saturday morning cartoons, I remember that it had become the day I had to clean my room. I mean really clean it. White glove inspection clean (seriously - my kids have it so easy) And I spent a lot of time in there. I remember having my moms old stereo in my room that was a record/LP player; a radio with an 8 track tape deck on it. This was before big boom boxes had made it to mainstream, but technology had already advanced to the cassette tape of the Walkman. But I remember listening every Saturday morning to Casey Kasem’s America’s Top 40. My favorite part of his show was The Long-Distance Dedication portion of his show where his listeners would write him poignant, heartfelt, or sweet letter about someone in their life or a hardship perhaps they themselves had been enduring. Casey would read these with such compassion where you felt like your soul was being touched through the airwaves by the velvet of his voice in the pain these people endured. And at the end of each letter they closed by asking him to play a certain song or would leave it to him. But they would send it out to someone. Maybe that’s where I learned to attach such memories, thoughts, and in times of sadness and need, turn to music. I don’t know. (You should listen to recordings of this online.)

I don’t know how long I’ve been doing it, but I “think in song “. It’s the only way I know how to describe it. Gosh, I wish they were my own songs. I wish I had that ability; that talent. But no. What I mean is somewhere in my memory I have a jukebox - a storage drive so to speak of songs I don’t even realize I remember - or sometimes I even know. Sometimes a situation I have with someone, and it could be very obvious like being out with my girlfriends having a girls night with lots of laughter, wine and the song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” will be the song I hear in my mind. It isn’t usually the song title. It’s usually lyrics that speak to me. I think I equate or attach some sort of word association to the situation or feeling I am experiencing. We had a lot of rain recently. I start singing or rather thinking The Eurythmics,

“Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory, falling on my head like a new emotion...”

Or since I hit 39-40, I would say my theme song has been Landslide, written by Stevie Nicks and performed by Fleetwood Mac.

Oh, mirror in the sky what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

~These are questions I ask myself OFTEN.~

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ ‘Cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I’m gettin’ older, too

Ah, take my love, take it down Oh climb a mountain and turn around And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well, the landslide will bring it down

This morning Heart’s song, “Alone” came to me. I was thinking in this song. Just because of what’s been going on in my life lately.

Like I said in my “Sound of Silence” post, lyrics are so subjective. Music is an art form. Poetry is an art form. We take from it what we can relate in our own lives usually. Even though we may understand an artist may have meant X, our own interpretation can be different. That’s ok. They want to reach the masses. They want their work to resonate with you as much as it did them. We don’t have the same experiences, so why would our interpretations be the same?

If you feel color or think in song or taste experience, just let it happen. We evolve.

Now it’s time for me to turn on some music. I’ve really been enjoying Post Malone lately.

#music #gen x #gen xers #thinking in song #nostalgia #memories #thinking in lyrics #lyrically speaking #infj #spilled words #feel the music #tv vs music #evoking emotions #think in song #spilled thoughts

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theatreodyssey · 7 years

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just for tonight [ jeremy heere x reader ]

Summary : Jeremy Heere is a socially ostracized teen boy at a Halloween party. After a meeting with his high school bully, Rich, he decides to get a supercomputer implanted in his brain to make him cooler. His friend, (Y/N), who is completely opposed to the idea lets their feelings spill when they take Jeremy onto the dance floor. An emotionally-charged kiss that never should have happened may end up being the best thing that happened to either of them.

Warning : arguments, drug mentions, underage drinking

Disclaimer : I do not own Jeremy, or any characters from Be More Chill. I don’t own you either.

Word Count : 2566

Author’s Notes : This is based more on the book than the play, since I haven’t gotten around to actually seeing it. It’s also written from Jeremy’s point of view, as it’s based on the novel. Also, I don’t condone underage drinking or drug use, but it’s canon in the book, so it felt right to include it.

Standing up against the wall of the Halloween dance, I watch Christine grind on Jake in her costume. Next to me, Rich, dressed as a giant weed leaf, drones on a little more about the squip. Hopefully, it’ll make me cooler. I can research it later, but right now, I’m at a party.

“Jere-bear?” I cringe at the juvenile nickname. There’s only one person in the world that calls me that, and that’s one too many.

“(Y/N)! Yeah?” I turn over to see a giant bird. Well, it’s not a bird literally, but my view of their face is obstructed by a plague doctors mask with a black beak that juts out a couple of inches from their face, and it makes them look like a crow or a raven of some sort. I’m not sure if that’s what they’re going for, because the rest of their costume doesn’t scream traditional plague doctor. Their entire form is draped over with a dark cloak. I catch myself wishing that they were wearing less.

“So, the Humiliation Sheets…” Their speech is muffled slightly through the mask, and their eyes are hidden behind the goggles of it. I hate that. They could have their eyes anywhere right now, and I’d never know. Not that they’d see much, as it’s rather dark in the party room. My own mask is still down, but I can rarely keep my anonymity around (Y/N). We’ve been friends since middle school, and they know me way too well.

Of course. The sheets that I mark all my daily humiliating events on. It hasn’t even been a day since my secret got out, and news has already spread from the popular kids to my unpopular friend. “That’s not why you came over here, right?” I know them, and this isn’t why they want to talk.

“Come dance with me.” They avoid the question completely. I glance onto the dance floor at all of my peers moving around in the overly obnoxious flashing lights. I’m not a good dancer by any means, but (Y/N) tilts their bird head at me and I can’t reject them when all they want to do is dance.

It’s not just dancing, of course. They want privacy in a crowded place, and the only way to keep our conversation quiet while still talking over the music is to get close. I take their hand and we make our way to the edge of the dance floor with them leading the way. Their hands gravitate toward my neck and wrap around me. I’m a little confused. All the other couples are grinding or convulsing in one way or another, and these songs don’t seem like slow dance jams, but (Y/N) was the one that wanted to dance, so I’ll sway if they really want me to.

I let my hands land on their hips. “You were listening, right? To my conversation with Rich about the squip?” I don’t see a point in swaying out here for nothing, so I get right to figuring out what they actually want to say to me.

“Not on purpose, but I heard everything.” They assure me in a chipper voice. Their posture is much too good, and they’re as stiff as I am (which is very stiff).

“You don’t like the idea of me being liked.” I lift my mask up and wear it on my head rather than my face. They do the same, and now their beak is sticking up in the air like a horn.

“You’re already liked, Jeremy,” They spin me a little and I feel the passion fill the room. They hate it when I get down on myself. “I don’t like the idea of you selling everything that makes you you for a couple of nights with pretty girls.”

“It’s not just that! I need help, (Y/N). All I ever wanted was to make it through school. And Christine. So, if this thing can make me cooler, I’ll take it.” My voice is rising now, but I doubt anyone can hear anything over the music. The lights are low, and (Y/N) and I are rather close. We’re a lot closer than we were just a couple of minutes ago. I don’t think that they notice, but I do. It’s actually better, I think. I don’t have to actually yell to yell at them.

“How cool can the squid make you if it lets Rich dress like that?” They lean their head over to Rich, who is still against the wall scoping out the Hot Girls. He’s been with every one of them, and he’s painted head to toe in green. I get what they’re saying. He’s dressed as a giant weed leaf with arms and legs (even more ridiculous than what I’m donning at the moment) and he still is considered cool because of his squip. (Y/N) means to deter me, but honestly, I just want it even more. I’ll talk to Rich again soon.

“It’s squip, (Y/N).” I correct them. I try not to do it in a mean way, since I am the one who mistook the word for “quick” not just ten minutes ago.

“That’s even dumber.” They chuckle slightly, their grip on my shoulders stiffening. They lean into me and I instinctively wrap my arms tighter around their waist. Even though we’ve known each other since 6th grade, their laugh seems different every time I hear it. It sounds new. I wish I could hear it more. Is that normal? I don’t have many friends. Are these normal friend-thoughts?

“Have you been drinking, Jere?” Their voice breaks me from my thoughts. I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes because I know what they’ll say when I tell them the truth, and I can’t lie to them.

“Scotch. A little bit.” I glance at the wooden panels on the dimly lit floor. Various colors of lights dance across the floor. I feel a sudden aching in my chest.

“Aw hell, Jeremy.” They say under their breath. It’s a lot nicer than what I thought was coming my way, but I still snap at them.

“Why are you always such a buzzkill?” I whisper-yell. Not quite sure how people do that, but it’s possible. I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. Their eyes widen at my tone, and I think I need to add another section to my Humiliation Sheets.

Saying something I shouldn’t have. Being mean to a friend. Mistreating others.

I can’t decide a category. Of course, I could put it under a Mortification Event.

“Sue me,” There’s the snarky (Y/N) I expected. “I care about my neurological development. Y'know that illegal drugs are illegal to minors for a reason, right? Your brain doesn’t stop developing until age 24, so please take care of yourself.” The end of their speech is so soft and quiet that I can barely hear. If I wasn’t so focused on their slightly parted lips, which are mildly pink due to them ingesting a copious amount of punch, I may not have been able to make out what they told me.

I never give them enough credit for caring about me as much as they do.

Still, they’re annoying as hell. It’s not their job to lecture me when all I did was sip from Rich’s flask. “Maybe you should get a squip,” I press. “You’d sure be more fun to hang around.” That’s probably a lie. They know all the social rules, they just maintain the opinion that the rules are all stupid. The squip would only tell them what they already know, and they would seldom ever listen.

“Maybe I should. Maybe I’ll listen to it and bully great guys who’ll write it down on Humiliation Sheets. Are you really considering this, Jeremy? You could lose yourself. What if you become the people that you hate?” They have a point. Rich bullied me because his squip told him soon. What if I landed on someone’s Humiliation Sheets?

That’s a risk I’ll take.

“I just want to be cool, (Y/N). You wouldn’t understand. You’re smart and gorgeous and you could get anyone in the school, if you really wanted to!” All true. The reason that they’ve stuck around with me for 5 years now still alludes me.

“I don’t want to lose you! I know that you don’t think you’re cool, but you’re just about the best person I know, so why can’t you just get your eyes off Christine for a second to realize that there are actually good people that love you, just as you are!” Their eyes are puffy and lined with tears that they try to blink away, and I’m quite sure that my entire face is red. Luckily for me, it’s dark. Unluckily for them, the lights reflect off their teary eyes and make them glow rather brightly. If they weren’t red and full of tears that I caused, I’d think that they were pretty. Vibrant as always.

“Don’t hold me back just because you know that you’d be so goddamn lonely at the bottom of the social food chain if I had a better life!” I can’t seem to stop. I dig my hole deeper and deeper. I’m hurting them, and I don’t stop. They’re caring, and I don’t quite know how to deal, so I push them away. My arms loosen around their waist. Their arms tighten around my neck.

They look down at my chest. I’d be self conscious, but they’ve been my friend for years now and I doubt that they’re still at flight risk. A sigh escapes them, and I watch their eyes flash back up to me before landing on our shoes. Our feet move with the blaring rhythm of the music. “So, you’re really going through with this?” They inquire in a low voice.

“I think so.” They already know that I’m set on this. They just don’t want to believe it, but they’re not me.

“It’s your choice. I’ll just miss you.” Geez. I wish I could remind them that I’m not dying, but I can’t conceive a way to tell them without coming off like an even bigger jerk than I am. I bet a squip could tell me a proper thing to say.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” That’s an okay start, “You know that we’ll still be friends, right?”

“Right,” They give me a half-hearted smile. I wish they would smile more. It looks so good on them. It looks like what you’d expect when opening up a lifestyle magazine to a page about happy teens doing happy things, except this is real. (Y/N) is that kind of unedited beautiful. “You’re not getting with Christine tonight. She’s all over Jake.” They tilt their head and motion to Christine. With me swaying with (Y/N), I forgot the actual reason I came here.

“Thanks for reminding me.” I deadpan. I mean it as a half joke, and I’m relieved to see them giggle and glance up at me. Their shoulders bounce up and down; I love when shoulders do that. I feel like if your jokes are good enough to move a person’s mouth and lungs, that’s good, but to move a person’s body because they like you that much is even better. They get what I mean.

“Let me finish,” They smirk at me and relax a bit as they lean closer to me. “You’re not getting with Christine, so I don’t see that there’d be anything wrong with getting with someone else tonight. Kids at our school have done much worse. Do you see an issue with getting with someone else?” One of their eyebrows rises.

“Not particularly. Why do you ask?” Now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. I feel like I look like an idiot. If it were a conversation with anyone else, I’d be putting a lot more limitations on my expressions. Just as we spin, I step into a green spotlight and scrunch my face at the sudden change.

“You look cute, Jeremy.” Only (Y/N) doesn’t say that. A part of me wishes that they did.

“Do me a favor, Jeremy,” is how their next sentence actually begins, “Because you’re such a great friend.” They add quickly. Their eyes flicker around uncomfortably.

I lean closer to their face, my voice laced with concern, “What is it?”

“Kiss me. Just for tonight, can I be with you?” They won’t look me in the eyes, and their legs are a bit more shaky than before. Their eyes are glued on our shuffling shoes.

It takes me what feels like a full minute to process their request. (Y/N) wants me. I remove a hand from their waist and lift their chin up as gently as I can. Looking into their eyes, I don’t see anything wrong with kissing them. Actually, it feels as if it’s the only thing right.

They’re so nice, and hell they’re so cute.

I lean in somewhat slowly, partially afraid that they’ll pull away and laugh at me for thinking that they were serious. Inhaling sharply, I ghost my lips over theirs, and feeling the slight tinge of contact makes my entire face feel numb. It feels as if my entire face was dipped into bubbles. Don’t know why I know that feeling so well, but it’s a gentle and electrical feeling. It’s foreign and really nice.

They press their mouth to mine, and I feel the warmth of them radiate through my spine. Their lips are soft and taste of the punch. They’re moving on mine in a way that I’m too nervous to reciprocate, so I stay relatively stagnant for the first few seconds. I still can’t believe that this is happening. I know they feel my apprehension, because they begin to shy away from me, pulling back slightly.

I panic. I don’t want this kiss to end.

I grasp desperately at their ebony fabric until their torso is pressed against mine and my mouth is moving feverishly atop theirs. I need them to know that I want this. They seem to relax, letting themselves melt into me. My eyes flicker open for just a moment. I want to see them.

Pulling away, I let my tongue graze their bottom lip. It was probably awkward, but I don’t care at this point. It was nice. I blush and place my mask back over my face as a gentle reminder to myself that I can’t do it again, as much as I want to.

It shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but I’m so glad that it did.

“Jeremy?” Their mask is also on at this point, and I’m faced with the leathery beak of a plague doctor instead of the pretty face of my good friend.

“Yes?” I sound almost sad.

“Get that squip, if you want. But I want you to know: you’re doing pretty good without it. You’re a good person without it.” They give me that pitiful “thanks for being a friend” kind of shoulder pat, and then all I can do is watch their cloaks swing over the dance floor as they walk away and fade into the crowd of the party.

I’ve really got some things to figure out.

#first post y'all #I got kind of carried away with this one #but I kinda like it #jeremy heere #jeremy heere x reader #jeremy heere imagine #jeremy heere fanfiction #be more chill #be more chill imagine #be more chill x reader #be more chill fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #bmc #bmc jeremy #bmc x reader #bmc imagine #bmc fanfiction #theatreodyssey

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